#and same with calling conventional women dull

[yourqueenb]

I decided to replay the second chapter of TDA to get the study room and honestly… it’s made me like Nat less already. I feel like he falls into the category of LIs who are the lesser of two evils compared to the person MC is currently with… because these comments don’t sit right with me

[doorp]

This is so real, I wanna see more of jealous lenore, but also the pure anger and disgust on her face is so interesting to me. We have to remember that right before lenore got crushed by the tree, with Theo dead on top of her, Theo told her “it’s just the way of things” after she expressed that she didn’t want a suitor. Lenore went out in a storm to clear her head bc her father was forcing her to marry, and then her brother died and she was called hysterical and locked in the attic. She resents this system so much, she resents that women have to bend to these conventions, or they end up like her. She resents that this woman she cares so much about is gonna marry another person, who she doesn’t even seem to have the slightest bit of interest in. She’s jealous when Annabel tells her that her fathers picked someone for her, but when Annabel calls him dull and implies dullness is the best one can hope for, she’s furious. Annabel calling him dull, in some way, confirmed to lenore that Annabel wasn’t as happy with this as she was letting on. Not as content with her game ending as she wanted lenore to think.

ALSO!

Here, when Annabel leaves, she calls him dull. She says he’ll be a good husband as any. She accepts this as a best case scenario

Here however, she *complains* that Percy, another suitor, is dull.

Annabel calls him bland, and nessa replies to her with the same thing she told lenore. That its the best a girl can hope for. Something has changed in her where she just can’t believe that anymore. Annabel’s had a taste of someone that excites her. Someone that matches her, that makes her feel good and doesn’t expect her to be this perfect person. And she’s just learned that this person is dead. Dead because she was locked in an attic, unable to escape the flames of her house catching fire. dead because she dared to question this “fact of life”

right now Annabel’s thinking “lenore wasnt bland.” She gets in the bath, reciting poetry to distract herself. But she cant escape thinking of this recent news. She hallucinates, sees lenores ghost yelling at her, calling her a liar, resenting her for leaving. She hated leaving lenore, hated telling her those things, thinks shes going mad. But Annabel doesnt want to admit it. She doesn’t want to admit anything that might reveal that she isn’t in as much control as she wants to be. So her subconscious tells her these truths instead. Annabel feels guilty for leaving Lenore. She doesn’t want to be. She doesn’t think she should be. She bends over backwards trying to rationalize it in her head and justify her actions. Lenore made her happy, good lenore who didn’t ask for anything other than “wont you be here tomorrow?” Lenore who replied “anything” when Annabel asked if she would do something for her. And how does she repay her? she tells her all the time they spent together was a lie. She tells her it was an act. She might’ve withheld the truth to spare lenores feelings. Maybe to spare her own. But how can lenore believe her, when just before she had spilled her guts. How just before she’d ranted about hating the monotony of this life ahead of her, how she hates the idea of having children and being just a trophy for someone. Annabel is a bit ridiculous for thinking she could make Lenore believe she didn’t care about her. She told her she was an unusually talented musician, held her up and fanned her when she fell, opened the window so she could get fresh air. Spilled her guts that she dreaded this living death she felt condemned to. She did all this, lying to lenore telling her she was okay with it, but breaking when lenore pushed her hard enough. For a short moment she was completely honest with lenore, lenore sees what an actor she is. So of course she doesn’t believe Annabel when she so quickly goes back to pretending like everything’s okay, of course she doesn’t believe her when she tells her bullshit about their friendship being a charade. And I dont blame annabel for leaving. She had no choice. But, I do blame her for the unnecessary gaslighting. The things she said to lenore were calculated, probably trying to make things go as smooth as possible, forgetting how genuine Lenore is and how much she absolutely hates bullshit. How she can see through it. Annabel tried to rip the bandaid off and dip, but lenore wouldn’t let her. Lenore is gonna say when she thinks something is stupid and unfair. She’s not gonna hold it in or pretend she’s okay with it like Annabel.

after this exchange lenore decides shes gonna save annabel. She decides shes going to be Theo for Annabel.

Theo was lenores knight in shining armor, her brother who protected her and made sure she was okay. He complained lightly about how wild she was but obviously loved her so much. “Where is that girl? She’s going to be the death of me” Lenore probably got herself into so much trouble, but Theo would always protect her, swoop in to defend her. “What kind of brother would I be leaving my sister out in the rain?” He goes out into the storm to bring her back, says “I’ve got you” when lenore almost falls off the horse. Then a tree crushes him. Lenore begs him to lift the tree. “Save us Theo, you can lift it, I know you can” for the first time, her pleas for theos help fall on deaf, or dead, ears. Her world is completely shattered. This constant in her life, her brother who always was there for her, killed by a TREE. And why? In lenores mind, because she had impulsively rode off into the forest to escape thoughts of a suitor. The second to last thing her brother told her was “I’m sorry lenore, it’s just the way of things” do you know how SICK AND TWISTED it is that that’s the second to last thing her brother told her, him dying moments later in that storm. She went into that storm bc she didn’t wanna get married to a man. When her brother found her he told her that’s it’s just the way of things. And then he DIED?? If theo couldn’t save her from this fate, then who could?? If theo believed it, then why didn’t she?? If even theo wasn’t going to argue with it further, if she wanted to, was she really as hysterical as they called her? in a way theo does “save” her from marrying. he took the major force of the tree. Lenore was left injured, the doctors believing she was “barren,” not fit for marriage. but its not a win for lenore. She hates herself. She wished she died in theos place. She says “just lay down an die, it’s what you deserve” to herself before she passes out under the tree. She doesn’t understand why Annabel calls her extraordinary, doesn’t understand why the misfits follow her lead, doesn’t understand why Annabel thinks she can write a song.

Lenore wanted to be Theo for Annabel. She donned his suit, cut her hair similarly to his, assumed the identity of LEO (Theo with an L???) wrote Annabel songs when before, Theo was the only composer among them. I even have reason to believe she modeled the “im not one for marriage myself” thing after him, that she much preferred the freedom of bachelorhood. Theo did die unmarried, arguably with less pressure to bc he was a man. It would also be interesting if lenore is echoing something she told her father/what Annabel told her, proving the double standards between men and women. she attempted to save Annabel from a living death. BUT I DIGRESS, She DID become Theo for Annabel, she became Theo for everyone she cares about at nevermore. Annabel has this *undying* faith in Lenore. Fucking OBSESSED with her, willing to do anything for her to keep her safe. But, Lenore doesn’t want that. She doesn’t care that much about herself. She throws herself into danger left and right, tries to sacrifice herself for Duke and Morella, only feels reinvigorated in the maze when she thinks she won’t fulfill her promise to Annabel. She doesnt care about this new life. She says “everyone here wants a new life, same as you” to annabel. Same as you, not same as us. When morella mentions the prize of a new life, she starts, almost like she forgot about it. But she doesn’t believe in giving up, cant for a moment rest when there’s things to be done. She is SO selfless, She doesn’t ask for advantages or wish other students ill, doesnt even seem entertain the thought for a second, as we’re only shown the wishes connected to positive things. even in the maze she says “just as well, someone else may find a use for it” when they find they can’t bring things out of the trials. She can’t be helpless again, refuses to be forced to rest. She wins the manor lesson for all the people that were hurt to get her there. She has NOTHING to gain from doing that, no merits, no new friends made. she only wishes to spite those following along with the deans. Lenore is MAD at Annabel. Even if Annabel told her she did what she did to Duke to protect her, that would ruin lenore. She wont think that was worth it. It would be Theo all over again, someone dying in her place for mistakes she made.

I don’t think lenore has abandonment issues. I think she has imposter syndrome, survivors guilt, she’s not afraid people are going to abandon her, she’s afraid that she’s not going to be able to protect or be enough for others. Shes going to blame herself, if Duke dies, even though he told her not to.

As a bit of a side tangent, I love how lenore is like, so visibly fucked up whenever she remembers the tree incident and rest cure. Its amazing visual storytelling. look at her face when she wakes up the morning after her first dream, her face after feeling something alike to being locked up like that, her face coming out of the dementophobia trial, how she immediately loses her appetite after telling Duke about the rest cure, not taking a bite out of her Croissant, where before she was shoveling sandwiches into her mouth.

Additionally, imagine how lenore will feel when she learns they probably died because someone found out that her and Annabel were gay. She will probably blame herself again. Its not her fault, the tree falling and their death werent her fault. But she will believe it is

Anyway, in conclusion, Lenore is very fucked up too!! her and Annabel are fucked up together, and I hardly ever see ppl going like in depth about lenores trauma n how it like, very much affects the way she is. I myself an guilty of it so I thought id rant about her for a bit bc shes got all kinds of complexes along with Annabel

if you made it to the end I am eternally grateful bc it was a lot and im crazy and THANK YOU!

Heres cute lenore and Theo pics as a treat

Random Tought of the Day (IV)

One of those "yes, this is a very serious and emotional moment, but my God, I'm choking with laughter" pictures are these two little vignettes from Lenore's flashbacks between chapters 42-44, specifically 43. These are the scenes where Annabel explains to Lenore the bet on her hand and how she can no longer avoid marriage.

Admire Lenore's face as Annabel talks about this guy who wants her hand so badly that he's competed for it 12 damn times.

And it gets better when she comments that they're childhood friends and that "he'd make a good husband". God, this girl has had her week ruined, I think she'd stab the guy with a rusty razor if she could.

Putting the serious note to this situation, Lenore being jealous sounds consistent with her character: due to her traumas, she is quite unsure of herself, of her abilities, she notoriously has a huge fear of abandonment, and many of her interactions with Annabel in the present suggest that, although Lenore seems quite willing to give love, she gets really nervous about receiving it back (possibly because she doesn't think she deserves it).

You know, she'll run across school in her panties after getting beaten up in the maze several times to meet Annabel in the greenhouse, but when she tries to fix her bandages, she has a heart attack.

This could be a really interesting topic to address in their relationship, especially considering how consistently the comic has shown Annabel to be someone who can't even take her own skin seriously, but if there's one thing she cares about, it's Lenore.

It brings a smile to my face to think of them talking honestly about this issue. With Lenore managing to express her feelings, understanding that she shouldn't feel guilty about them (I can see her saying something along the lines of "she doesn't want to treat Annabel like the rest of her suitors did" as a kind of prize to take on), accepting this is an insecurity and that she should treat it as such. Meanwhile, Annabel tries to understand these feelings, is careful not to appear upset even when she feels Lenore is talking nonsense (because you know, Annabel would rather die than not have her wife by her side. For Lenore to even think that she might be interested in someone else is absurd) and wants to find ways to reassure her, even though she knows Lenore will have to learn to deal with these feelings on her own.

I think that would be nice.

[apolesen]

Let’s talk about conventions around Cardassian surnames. I’ve started pondering the question of whether Cardassians take their spouse’s surname (perhaps more specifically, whether women take their husband’s surname). There is nothing in alpha canon that gives us any clues (I looked through Memory Alpha’s ‘Cardassians’ category, and the only case we have of people with the same surname are fathers and their children - Kotan and Rugal Pa’Dar, Tekeny and Iliana Ghemor, etc.) On Memory Alpha there are a few examples of wives whose last names are listed as the same  as their husbands (Athra Dukat, Niala Damar), but I don’t know if that actually means that they’re called that in the books, or if the Memory Beta editors are making the assumption that Skrain Dukat’s wife Athra must be Athra Dukat. While I’m not sure what my opinion actually is, I feel that automatically assuming that their system is just like the dominant one in our society is...  bit dull? 

Cross-culturally, the concept of taking your husband’s surname is not that common. Even in Northern Europe (because in Southern Europe it’s still not widely done), it is quite a new thing. Still in the late 18th century in Europe, women would still be known by the surname they were born with, or would swap between their family surname and their husband’s surname depending on the situation. Among the Etruscans of ancient Italy (where women had three names - praenomen (forename) nomen (family name) and cognomen (personal name, but sometimes associated with family branches) - unlike among the Romans, where women only had a nomen and sometimes cognomen), women kept their own family’s nomen even after getting married. The children would take the father’s nomen. This seems to be a more common model, occurring in much of modern Asia (though interestingly enough not in Japan). I believe that in some cultures (though I’m not sure where), newly-weds will take an entirely new surname, both changing to that name. 

All this comes down to how marriage is conceptualised. Do Cardassians see the woman as ‘leaving’ the family she was born into and instead becoming part of the husband’s family? Does she ‘connect’ both families? Or is she half-outside her husband’s family - a conduit of the family but not quite part of it? I don’t think it’s a given that all Cardassians do the same thing - there might be class differences, where the upper classes do one thing and others do another. Maybe there are different types of marriage of different degrees (thinking something like the Roman concepts of marriage cum manu and sine manu, where legal control either passes to the husband or stays with the father (but maybe less ‘women don’t have rights’-y) or maybe like morganatic marriages). Perhaps surnames can sometimes be matrilineal, in some social contexts or some geographical areas. 

This was a very rambly way of saying - I’d love to hear people’s thoughts and personal headcanons on Cardassian marriage and Cardassian name conventions. 

[someone-always-cares]

bonus 2, post chapter 4

first - previous - next

[image  description: an sac webcomic page. 5 pages styled in a manner similar to a medical brochure titled “navigating your new abilities, what does this mean for me?”. the brochure is about superpowers, what the are, side effects and health risks, and job oppurtunities. the brochure has white and light blue for the main colours, with a dark purple accent. page 1: mostly showing a girl transforming, with the title listed above, with smaller text reading “created and supported by the paragon institute for superheroism.” the girl is a younger white woman who has a light purple colour scheme, long straight hair and bangs, a crop top, and elbow pads. shes shown from the waist up, half her body and an arm cut out of the photo. her transformation takes the form of dripping black-purple goop spreading, with a starry texture. a similar texture takes up the image background.

page 2: title: what are superpowers?. “Superpower is a term used for superpowered abilities that go beyond the natural abilities and conventional laws of reality. There are little limits to the potential types of abilities that a super powered person may possess.

It is currently unknown what causes superpowered abilities. Despite many theories, the only known way to guarantee superpowers is to inherit them from a parent.

London has the highest percentage of superpowered people in the entire world, in addition to having 42% of all supers in the united kingdom”

next to this text is a grinning woman in pink winking while posing with one hand on her hip, and the other in a fist held up. the woman has long wavy pale pink hair, light brown skin, many freckles, and hot pink eyes. her outfit is a pink dress and gloves, pale pink tattered cape, and a hot pink long sleeved undershirt.

“how do i use and control my abilities? Superpowered people will typically have an innate sense for how to transform and use their abilities,but like any skill it will take time and effort to fully control their abilities.

In some rare cases, a superpowered person may lack control over their powers to the extent where it can cause harm to those around them.

This is most common in those who have inherited their abilities. In these cases the P.I.S offers programs to assist these people in learning control with 24/7 care and supervision. If you or someone you know requires these programs, please call our number or otherwise contact us via our website.

Due to the range of superpowered abilities, there is no one-size-fits-all method of developing control, however, the P.I.S do offer training services, of which you can read more about atwww.pis.uk/pis-services/training

next to this is a teenage superhero, an androgynous boy with a grey colour scheme, smiling slightly, his arm turning into smoke. he has light grey hair and eyes, brown skin and a dark grey bodysuit. he has a grey poncho/cape conbo and gloves, both of which are lined with light grey fleece or fur. his outfit looks as if is was meant for cold weather.

page 3: what are some other symptoms of superpowered abilities? Superpowers are also accompanied by complete transformations, including bodily and outfit transformations. Body transformations will include a change of eye and hair colour, but can also include a wide variety of changes, commonly including changes to eyes, ears, and hands, animal-like features, changes in shape, colour, additional limbs and features, and more.

below that is 5 examples, inside circles with a white border: a close up of an eye, all blue including sclera, the pupil is pale and slit like a cat. next is a close up of a green haired braid. next if also from behind, a red haired person with red wings, the longest feathers of which are white. while the last three arent of any known character, the latter two are wraith, shown from behind, only showing hair and a cape, and part of an arm, and quartz, a close up of his elf-like ear.

Outfit transformations are even more varied in appearance, and will typically be in various shades of the persons 'main' colour. It is common for the outfit to contain additional accessories, tools, and weapons. Electronic devices created from these transformations do not need recharging and if using internet or data, will use the strongest available signal to do so. It is illegal to create, use, or otherwise have in the open, a weapon in public without a registered superhero licence.

The act of transformation will vary from person to person, but will usually involve a bright light, and is likely to reflect the user's powers of their effects. In the case of those inheriting their abilities, they will inherit body traits and transformations from any and all superpowered ancestors.

The effects of a transformation will likely change through a superpowered person's lifetime. A change will usually happen after a dramatic change in the person's personality, ideals, traumatic incident, or other life development, although a change is not guaranteed, and will rarely occur without these.

The first transformation will usually be the simplest aesthetically both in outfit and body, with simple details, but will usually get more complicated, and it's likely to gain more body transformations as more changes happen. A superpowered person may experience 1-2 changes every 10 years.

Objects and outfits created via transformation will dissipate upon detransformation, regardless of if it is removed from the person. The same goes for additional limbs and features that do not exist on the original body, although these injuries are permanent, unlike clothes and objects which will reform upon transformation.

page 4: other known possibilities of transformations:

- Partial changes to a transformation may occur in the event of permanent injury, such as gaining a prosthetic after losing a limb, but nothing else in the outfit changes.

-It is possible for a transformation's change to be affected by other superpowered persons. This is commonly shown by similarities in outfit transformations, as elements of the superpowered persons apperance change to resemble each other.

-Changes in colour are extremely rare and usually only occur in small aspects

other changes and risks: Some changes are permanent and may not disappear when a superpowered person detransforms.

-Reproductive changes: Any biological offspring will have the exact same powers as the parent. However, pregnancy will be risky, and have a high rate of failure, especially if the mother does not have any superpowered abilities.

-Dreams: While there is no known reason for this occurrence, supers will rarely be able to remember their dreams, except those with dream related abilities or legacy supers. However, despite this the people in question will usually be experiencing nightmares, and superpowered people are at high risk for night terrors and sleep terror disorder.

-A superpowered person's body will adapt to their powers and it is extremely unlikely for one to be harmed by their own power, but this may result in permanent changes that may cause inconvenience in daily life. If this is something you or a loved one experience, please inform your GP

-Overuse of powers: While powers appear to be adapted to not cause harm to the user, overuse of powers can result in a large amount of pain and possible long term damage

below that is an image of two people, on looking like a doctor, a pale man with dull brown hair and dull green eyes, dressed as a doctor and smiling with a clipboard, looking at a person shown from  behind, with long mint hair.

page 5: what does this mean for me?

Discovering and controlling your abilities is often the first step one may take inbecoming a superhero. Here at the P.I.S we offer many pathways to doing so,including all required training, courses, and experiences.

We also acknowledge that some super powered people do not seek to become asuperhero, but the P.I.S still has a place for them! We offer many career pathsand courses for almost any job and  our career advisors can match up the perfectpower-job combinations to give you a leg up if you are interested in using yourabilities in your career.  For more information, visit jobs.pis.uk

Use of powers in a job, or to otherwise earn money using superpowered abilities,without a license is a serious offence that can result in fines starting from £5000,and a potential ban from working in that field.

below is the superhero arrow, grinning at a woman in a plain looking suit. he has one hand on his hip and the other is shaking hands with the woman. the women has red hair and eyes, and pointy red nails.

Due to the nature of superpowered abilities, it is important to gettailored advice and support for affected individuals.For more information call us at our support helpline at 020 7946 0xxx. Both our lines are open from 8:30am-10pm mon-fri and 9:30am-9pm sat.You can also visit our website for more resources at pis.uk/resources. end id]

sorry for last weeks lack of update, irl stuff is happening too much and too fast

anyway heres something ive wanted to do for a while, a pamphlet thats kinda medical style? it seemed like it would be fun and i wanted an excuse to try something new and im always down to infodump (affectionate) about my ocs

however im half asleep, ive already delayed an update for a week, and im a little stressed so i didnt get a proper proofread so sorry if theres any typo or if i left a placeholder in ill get it later if i see any late

edit: did i really forget to fucking finish the fake phone number at the end? anyway sometimes fake phone numbers are reserved for tv and stuff if a phone number is needed, thats the one used for london fake numbers, i just forgot to finish it until i went back to write the id there

[mugunghwc]

ji-eun could only snort at that response, thinking of it as something extremely cheesy for him to say, yet it was something that he could relate to a degree. his morbid fascination with death had followed him throughout all of his life, showing up even in his childhood by poking at the animals that he found. now, it was him the one causing those deaths out of boredom—disregarding life as if it held no meaning to him. he wondered if kaizen was the same in that regard.

just as he'd come to expect, even for a foreign, the scenery would become quite dull after a while, with tall building after another. unless they were specifically following their target around, there would be not much to see & chances were anyway, that just like most businessmen, their future victim would visit a more lively environment after a long day. ji-eun smirked upon hearing the other speak about japanese girls, giving him a glance before trying to imagine him in a hostess club. he didn't appear like the type who would fare well socialising, but who knows? maybe it was different with women. a part of him was curious to see. "my boss deal with those all the time." he commented without giving it too much thought—just recalling from the very few times he had witnessed a fight on the ring. they went wild when it came to watching their favourite hosts spill blood for their entertainment. it was no wonder that stardust had become so popular. women could be just as perverted as men.

"i wouldn't call my girl that type of cute." back to that again, ji-eun had to smirk upon thinking back on her. she was ' cute ', but far from the conventional type. more of the ' i will stab you if you wrong me ' kind of cute, which worked for him. too bad that that would apply to him, after the stunt he pulled. he had no right to call her ' my girl ' when she was never his, but that tattoo behind her ear alluded to something else. he'd not get lost in that memory & shake his head as he changed directions, driving into a more familiar scene. unfortunately, it wasn't as appealing as it would be at nighttime, but perhaps, they could kill some time. ji-eun had to chuckle over how casual this man spoke. "hunting is good." he began by saying, offering a shrug of his shoulders. "the extortion can be fun too... just toying around with someone, even from afar." he personally enjoyed that as well. sometimes, even more-so than the torture itself, because it could end far too quick. "although... there's more at risk." for example, that particular incident with said girl he had spoken about. all of his plan had gone to shit with her father didn't respond the way they needed him to, making the whole kidnapping pointless. since then, he had stayed away from those kinds of jobs. "all this talk is making me nostalgic." ji-eun added. his voice vacant of any real sorrowfulness as he waved a hand dismissively. "how do you feel 'bout maid cafés? have you ever visited one?"

Dutiful was truly an euphemism when it came to Kaizen. He was focused because he felt excited; he had always loved the hunt, and the promise of dark events and other funsies was his ideal. He felt utterly thrilled by the mission, and he wanted to be ready. He wanted to know how his prey would move within the city, where to find him, where to surprise him. He was an everlasting large shadow looming over his victims, and he had no intentions to change his methods when they had been so efficient in the past. He glanced at Ji-Eun with the ghost of a smirk and gave a nod. “I love giving death.” He explained to somehow justify his seriousness on the matter. A will to prove that he was worth the ride too. “Too bad. Like ya’ as a tour guide.” 

As they were really closer to downtown and the business center of Tokyo, he noted down a few streets that seemed far less crowded, and anticipated that it would be the case at night. People here were utterly dedicated to their jobs; they were only looking either at their phones or at the buildings ahead and they were all in a rush. The business corner wouldn’t probably be a good location then; either they would cover their tracks and disappear in the crowd, or they might provoke a large panic. “Mmmh. Heard Japanese girls like it.” He looked back at Ji-Eun and tapped the windows. That part of the city wouldn’t be a good playground, so he wasn’t paying much attention anymore. “The whole cute play. Giggling and all.” He turned up the volume of the music and hummed for a second. 

“So, what type?” Kaizen was curious as he felt there was more to say, but Ji-Eun wasn’t talking much about his job and targets. He had a feeling that he could be more passionate about torture rather than killing, but he might have had other missions that he prefered to keep for himself. “I like it bloody. Hunting though, best part. My jam, all the time.” He spilled before he eventually nodded at another street. “S’getting boring. Where’s the red district?” He just wanted to have a look before eating something. 

[dwellordream]

“Contemporary readers might find themselves almost suspicious of how little there is in Victorian lifewriting to shock or surprise; can their lives really have been this dull? Deficient in arresting details and blandly uniform, Victorian lifewriting does not foster any illusions that it accurately records the historical past. But lifewriting was not pure fiction, and its very adherence to rules and commitment to typical daily life makes it a far more valuable source than conduct literature, medical writings, or police records for understanding how conventions shaped lived behavior. Consider the example of transvestism. Cross-dressing could lead to scandal and arrests, but lifewriting attests that many youths who adopted the clothes of the other sex were treated as amusing pranksters. 

In her 1857 autobiography Elizabeth Davis recalled “enjoying” herself “extremely” when she dressed as a man to accompany a fellow housemaid to a party and noted that her employers simply “laughed” when they caught her. In the 1840s a young woman living in London wrote to a cousin in the country about putting on a play with other girls for their fathers and mothers: “I have two parts, the good Fairy and the Lord Chamberlain because he sings a song, and he wears a turban and baggy trousers and I wear a beard and moustache.” Other accounts described boys dressing as girls and sallying forth in public to the amusement of all in the know. 

Victorian lifewriting exposes other gaps between myth and reality. Conduct books confined women to the private sphere, but in fact, many informally participated in politics. Amanda Vickery has pointed out the dearth of research on women’s consumption of newspapers, an increasingly political medium after 1750; lifewriting shows that many ordinary middle-class women who complied with gender norms actively read newspapers and discussed political events with their fathers and husbands. Katharine Harris’s journal documents how a middle-class teenage girl tracked the revolutions and cholera epidemics of 1848 as carefully as she followed changes in fashion and the dramas of her social circle.

Women’s diaries and correspondence also modify our image of Victorian feminism as a powerful but marginal movement; though suffrage was a divisive issue, an otherwise silent majority supported female higher education, with many writers asserting that “women have brains, and given equal opportunities, can do as good work as men.” Mary, Lady Monkswell (1849–1930) never formally participated in politics except as the wife of a man who held several government positions, but in 1890 she recorded her pride that a woman had attained the highest score on the Cambridge Mathematical Tripos: “Every woman feels 2 inches taller for this success of Miss Fawcett.”

Female friendship emerges in Victorian lifewriting as a fundamental component of middle-class femininity and women’s life stories. Because the letters women exchanged with male suitors were often deemed too private or compromising for publication, and because wives had few occasions to write to husbands whom they lived with, letters between female friends and kin were the most common and copious source for documenting women’s lives. Anna Bower’s correspondence with three women who had been her friends since school days made up the bulk of a 1903 edition of her diaries and letters.

The Memoir of Mrs. Mary Lundie Duncan (1842) drew heavily on the communication between Mary Duncan and a lifelong friend. The many letters included in the published version of Mary Gladstone Drew’s diaries and correspondence were addressed to her cousin and friend Lavinia. The editor of Lady Louise Knightley’s journals identified the central figure of the early volumes as Louise’s cousin and “inseparable companion” Edith, with whom Louise exchanged daily letters when they were separated between 1856 and 1864 (12). The emphasis on female friendship in Victorian women’s lifewriting mirrored the ways in which didactic literature defined it as an expression of women’s essential femininity. 

In The Women of England and The Daughters of England, Sarah Ellis articulated the tenets of a domestic ideology based on strict divisions between men and women. She counseled women to accept their inferiority to men and to cultivate moral virtues such as selflessness and empathy as counterweights to the male virtues of competitiveness and self-determination. Ellis praised female friendship for several reasons. It trained women not to compete with men by requiring them not to compete with one another; it fostered feminine vulnerability by developing bonds based on a shared “capability of receiving pain”; and it reinforced married love by cultivating the sexual differences that fostered men’s desire for women (Women, 75, 224). 

In The Daughters of England, Ellis explicitly argued that friendship trained women to be good wives by teaching them particularly feminine ways of loving: “In the circle of her private friends . . . [woman] learns to comprehend the deep mystery of that electric chain of feeling which ever vibrates through the heart of woman, and which man, with all his philosophy, can never understand” (337). Ellis argued that female friendship produced marriageable women by intensifying the opposition between the sexes, but she then undid gender differences by positing similarities between friendship and marriage. The emotions fostered by friendship were also those required for marriage, leading Ellis to call marriage a species of friendship, and friendship “the basis of all true love” (Daughters, 388). 

Far from compromising friendship, family and marriage provided models for sustaining it; female friends exchanged the same tokens as spouses and emulated female elders who also prized their friendships with women. Marriage rarely ended friendships and many women organized part of their lives around their friends. Louise Creighton (1850–1936), married to an Anglican vicar and eventually the mother of six children, wrote letters to her mother in the 1870s that often mentioned extended visits from her childhood friend Bunnie and other married and unmarried female friends. 

Just before she acceded to the throne, Princess Victoria wrote of her governess Lehzen as “my ‘best and truest friend’ I have had for nearly 17 years and I trust I shall have for 30 or 40 and many more.” On the day Victoria married Albert, Lehzen gave the queen a ring, and their pledges of an enduring bond held true, with Lehzen ensconced at court long after the queen’s wedding. Like any monarch, Queen Victoria practiced a politics of display, but what she performed most vigorously was her adherence to domestic middle-class ideals.

It is therefore not surprising to find her commitment to lifelong friendship echoed in the aspirations of Annie Hill, a middle-class girl who in 1877 wrote to her friend Anna Richmond, “I do not see why we should not keep up writing to one another all our lives like Aunt Maria and her great friend have done.” The friendships that created bonds between individual women also forged a sense of connection between generations. Friendship and marriage could be overlapping and mutually reinforcing. While engaged to her husband-to-be, Mary Duncan sent him poems and the gift of a hair brooch, and at the same time wrote a poem for her best friend, whom she addressed as “loved one” and “dear one” (163, 179–80, 147). 

Just as Duncan experienced no conflict in loving her fiancé and her friend, other women expressed affection for friends by hoping they would happily marry. Writing in 1865 of the friend who came “to bless my life,” twenty-three-year-old Louisa Knightley fantasized about her eventual wedding with a sense of pleasure rather than incipient loss: “I have grown to love Edie very dearly—the Sleeping Beauty, whom life and the world are slowly awakening. May the enchanted Prince soon come and touch the chord that will rouse her from the dreams of childhood and make of her the perfect woman!” (105–6). 

….Lifewriting confirms the links conduct literature made between female friendship and conventional femininity, for only women invested in portraying themselves as atypical failed to write of their friendships. Women who succeeded in masculine arenas and advertised their exceptional achievements in published autobiographies often accentuated their distance from standard femininity by downplaying the role that female friends played in their lives. Battle painter Elizabeth Butler (1846–1933), pedagogue and professional author Elizabeth Sewell (1815–1906), and radical activist Annie Besant (1847–1933) all omitted the rhapsodic descriptions of friendship that characterized lifewriting by women eager to demonstrate how well they had fulfilled the dictates of their gender.

Outright disdain for female friendship was rare. One of the few extant examples of a woman mocking female friendship is an exception that proves the rule. A sophisticated transplant raised in Paris by parents from the Anglo-Irish gentry who returned to England in 1868, Alice Miles was eager to distinguish herself from her earnest English relatives. In a diary that remained unpublished until the late twentieth century, she wrote that women were obligated to marry for money, not love. Her contempt for British domestic sentiment led her to dismiss the earnest devotion between female friends she encountered in England as hypocrisy or stupidity. She believed instead in “the natural aversion women always seem to entertain towards each other and the still more decided preference they habitually evince towards mankind!”

 Nevertheless, Miles enjoyed forming a friendships with a young woman “perfectly acquainted” with every “naughty story . . . making the tour of London,” whom she praised as “a regular little rose bud . . . looking perfectly bewitching.” Even the cynical Miles, who believed that affection between woman was merely a ���sign . . . that a man is at the bottom of the emotion,” could not resist the pleasure she took in a woman pretty and wicked enough to be a potential rival. Successful women who represented themselves as proper ladies defined their lives in terms of their friendships with women as well as their devotion to family and church.”

- Sharon Marcus, “Friendship and Play of the System.” in Between Women:  Friendship, Desire, and Marriage in Victorian England

[gwoongi]

wordless pt.1

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: hitman (john wick?) au, sugar daddy au, fluff, pining, angst rating: mature words: 4.1k warnings: mentions of blood and violence, unconventional relationship, angsty themes, smoking mention a/n: this is jeongguk as john wick because i’m trash and i cant finish one story at a time. these prompts r from here btw :) im gonna do all 50 but im too lazy rn so here’s the first 10 :D

Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears them again.

Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

Now, it definitely was not a stretch to assume that everything in Jeongguk’s life was indeed unconventional. People didn’t need to understand that what Jeongguk did for work was something that, by the law, was considered unprofessional and inhumane, and so when asked, Jeongguk sufficed for “boss of a company”, and questions weren’t asked. If they were, Jeongguk came up with a slightly more conventional lie, to make up for the reality that was Jeongguk working on the clock, killing nobodies for a bit of cash.

Taehyung, his right-hand man, had expressed how unconventional Jeongguk seemed to be over a dinner in Venice, a little restaurant tucked away unconventionally in a street that did not belong to America. Jeongguk spoke four languages comfortably, and had parents retiring in the Canary Islands. Jeongguk donated money to women’s charities and mental health services, and helped bribe his cousins into Ivy Leagues when racism prevented them from entry. Jeongguk was a Joe-Exotic in the making and owned a rescue black panther named Elio, and had houses across the globe for use when working. And, Jeongguk was dipping his toes into playing house with a sugar baby who was only five years younger than him, of whom he had met in a stakeout which involved the hit being on your brother’s head. Unconventionally, you led him to his target, and afterwards, dined with him in a Thai restaurant.

Things in Jeongguk’s life were far from ordinary, but perhaps it was the denial of mundane comforts that kept Jeongguk going. If he went back to normality, to working a shitty customer service job like when he was seventeen, dumping trash into overflowing piles behind the off-license he worked at, things wouldn’t be the same. Jeongguk would feel alien, like he didn’t belong. At least here, amongst the pain and the bullets and the years worth of trauma packed in his wrinkles (which, yes, if he looks hard enough, he can see some cursing his twenty five year old skin), Jeongguk felt like he sort of belonged. In an unconventional way.

Having met Jeongguk during his line of work, there were difficulties in being Jeongguk’s sugar baby. For one, he always felt guilty for having murdered your brother, even though you heavily supported the hit. Your brother was a jerk, a bully with money, someone who had wronged your entire family, turned off your younger sister’s life support when there was a chance of her survival. Asshole, he deserved it. Secondly, Jeongguk was impractical and irrational and often acted selfishly, meaning he was often out of the country on work, only available in whispers for a few hours and then he was gone, compensating with a few sums of cash.

He tried his best. Jeongguk, despite technicalities including his work and his past and his occasional mean streak, genuinely cared about other people. When he could, he made the effort, otherwise not attempting to make promises to you that he could not keep. Jeongguk knows that he got really lucky when he found you. You didn’t ask questions. Nobody was better for him.

However, Jeongguk was selfish, and broken, and in refusal of fixing what was wrong with him. When it was of convenience, Jeongguk drew comparisons to the last girlfriend he tried to entertain. One who wronged him, and died when he tried to repair everything she had destroyed. Jeongguk carries that with him like the tattoos on his skin, a permanent memory, and something that often disturbs what could be and should be between the both of you.

Jeongguk is worthy of love, and capable of loving. On days where Jeongguk is free to lounge without the guilt of not working, you find it is so easy to love him. But, it can’t be that way. You couldn’t just tell him that. Telling him that you loved him would be inappropriately unconventional. Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears it again.

(1) Holding their hands when they are shaking.

Jeongguk is in his living room, his right leg bouncing like a spring as he cradles an infant glass of whiskey. His eyes are glazed, yet wide, staring at the Seoul city draped in darkness and neon, and without even looking inside, you know that his brain is spinning, thoughts chaotic and loud.

“Hey,” you call out to him, and his eyes stutter to the left to catch you in the doorway, “I heard you get up. What’s wrong?”

Jeongguk shakes his head gently. “Nothing, baby, go back to bed. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Jeongguk often makes comments without expectancies. You stand in the doorway that connects the living room to the long hall that stems into bedrooms and bathrooms, and watch him for a moment. His whole body vibrates like a speaker, his hands trembling as the glass drains and he reaches for a second, or a third, or maybe a tenth. You want to sigh, without being patronising, but you know that any sign of sympathy is mistaken for that whenever Jeongguk is around to make the judgement.

He looks back to the skyline and frowns, his attention panning from the window to his phone that buzzes blue, but he ignores. Stepping across the cool wooden floorboards, you approach him sleepily and take a seat next to him on the sofa. Neither of you move, but he recognises you’ve moved. He bristles slightly, like it was unexpected.

“You can take your time,” you suggest to him, and his hands ache in his lap as he sets the glass down on the coffee table with a careless thud. He scoffs, devoid of emotion, and dips his head so his chin is near his collarbones. In his lap, those hands shake. “Maybe don’t drink so much tonight.”

“I’m clearing my head,” he insists weakly. Those hands still shake.

Brows creased with a pinch, you swallow the unease and reach for his hands. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything as you do so, enveloping his hands in yours, and so suddenly the shaking ceases. Like trying to block the shakes from reaching his wrists, your hands keep his safe.

“I know,” you understand honestly, because you do know what he’s going through. “How about tea, or something? To calm down, calm down the mess that’s up in there.”

Your chin is on his shoulder, and he smiles softly. “Are you calling me messy?”

“Nah, I’m calling your brain messy,” you reply. “It’s a cruel fucking brain.”

“Hate my brain.”

“Today, we hate it.”

Jeongguk’s head turns slightly so that he can see you, and in his lap, his thumbs brush across your skin.

“Thank you,” Jeongguk says quietly, attempting a smile that doesn’t quite convince. It doesn’t necessarily have to, not tonight anyway. His phone continues to flash like a light show, Taehyung’s name in bold. “Fuck. I’ll take the call, and then I’ll come back to bed, okay?”

You nod, “Mm, okay. Want me to make a drink?”

“I don’t need it,” Jeongguk concludes. “Not today.”

(2) Tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night.

Sometimes Jeongguk wakes up in the night due to nightmares, but tonight, it’s different.

Beside him, you stir uncomfortably and kick his leg for the fourth time. He huffs and looks over, trying to figure out if you’re awake and indignant, or lost in the dream. He settles on the latter when you strain out the name of your brother and his heart swoops with a dull ache.

“You’re just dreaming, baby, come on,” Jeongguk mutters quietly into your ear, holding you in place to calm the thrashing. “He’s not here anymore, I’m here. Y/N.”

It subsides after a few minutes, making it the longest you’ve gone on record. He looks into your sleepy, upset eyes as you break awake and brushes the hair out of your face. He tries to smile for you, and maybe you can’t see in the dark.

“I’ll get you some water,” Jeongguk suggests gently. “Hm? Sweet thing. It’s just a dream.” He says this into your hair in a hug, leaving a kiss on your temple as he breaks. “You’re fine.”

“I’m fine,” you breathe uneasily, and he separates to get a glass of water and returns to find you sleeping again. What relief Jeongguk might have is exhaled as he sets the glass on the bedside table, stroking your hair until he moves away with the sudden realisation that this is not a normal exchange.

Before Jeongguk decides to leave again, he makes sure the bed is made and that you are safe; he tucks the duvet in tightly and presses a kiss to your forehead before grabbing his coat by the front door and leaving your apartment, one tucked in the city so far that Jeongguk finds it a hassle to visit.

(3) Travelling long distances just to see them.

For three days now, you have been in Colmar, and Jeongguk is beginning to feel lonely. It had been his idea to send you away, when the heat on his long, long fued with a rival colleague threatened your safety. In return, you got a new apartment that Taehyung had found closer to Jeongguk’s own when your address got leaked, and Colmar could be considered a vacation if you pretended for long enough.

With tensions cool and the coast somewhat clear, Jeongguk picks the skin around his fingernails as a distraction before deciding that enough was enough. He missed you, and missed how you were always around for him when he needed you most. This is what drives him to jumping on a plane in his company’s name, and flying to France.

A small boat passes underneath the bridge you are standing on, and your hands dig into the barrier as you arch to smile at the tourists beneath. One catches a glimpse of your denim skirt and cherry print blouse in the sunshine and extends his hat with a wave, and you wave back. France is nothing like Seoul, and is indeed warm and fruitful and unique. The sun is hot, the sky is clear, and the streets are filled with an atmospheric buzz of friendliness, the smell of coffee and some food you don’t know yet entrapping your senses.

“Madame, je peux vous prendre en photo?”

Hearing the voice, you turn your body left and prepare to face the tourist, but instead you are welcomed with the sight of Jeongguk dressed in black, sunglasses sliding down his nose with a smile. He does hold a camera in his hands, although teasingly.

“Oui,” you quip, posing cutely and Jeongguk takes a photograph anyway, to humour the moment, to print when he gets back to Seoul. You join his laughter as he peers at the photograph and he walks without looking up towards you.

“When did you get here?” you ask him, a round of laughter from the little boat making you turn to stare at them with a giggle.

“Bout an hour ago,” Jeongguk replies, and he shuts off the camera and puts it in his coat pocket. It’s only a small camera, probably cost him a crumb to buy from a vintage store. He meets your eyes with a comfortable smile and rounds in, pressing your lower back against the bridge barrier and circling your arms around you. Carefully, then, he kisses you, tasting the suncream on your skin as his lips wander from yours to the skin around your face.

“Miss me?”

“Terribly,” Jeongguk responds. “I am so bored when you’re not around. You always have something to do, always have something to say.”

You hum in response. “I’m glad I’m of some entertainment for you.”

“Oh, for sure,” agrees Jeongguk. “I don’t think I’ve used my brain so often when I’m away from work as much as I do when I’m with you. Did you know that you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met?”

“Wow,” you exclaim with a smile. “Hire me.”

“Ha!” he remarks, kissing you again and taking your hand in his. He moves, back in the way you came. “Over my dead body.”

(4) Making their favorite meal when they are having a hard day.

“You.”

“Not now, Y/N, I’m working,” Jeongguk replies non committedly. He fists his hair.

“Not up for discussion right now,” you huff, and he has the nerve to glare at you which only makes you uncomfortably angry. “You haven’t eaten in fourty eight hours, and I’m not about to be held responsible for your death when you die of hunger, so get your ass in the kitchen before I dump this food over your stupid head.”

He challenges you. “You’re brave talking to somebody who could destroy your life like that.”

“Do it, I literally have nothing to lose,” you answer. “Please eat something. I made it with love and care.”

Jeongguk relents, sighing at his paperwork but nonetheless moving away from his home office and following you like a child towards the direction of the kitchen. He feels bad, you know he feels bad, and he circles his arms around your body as you walk, stumbling into the space of the kitchen and smelling the familiar aroma of pork rice stew. Alas, he sees the bowl steaming in his spot at the table and his eyes follow you as you hum and set start to washing the dishes.

“Y/N-”

“No words, just eating,” you instruct. “Bone apple tit.”

He grins, then, and takes a seat. “You know that’s not the phrase, right?”

“Tell that to Twitter,” you sigh.

(5) Giving them a kiss before going to work and they are still in bed.

Jeongguk prefers to see you when he doesn’t have work the next day, because leaving when you’re asleep is an asshole move in any dictionary. So, when one of his men phones him at four in the morning and relays the horror that someone’s died on his property, Jeongguk has to fight the demons that almost convince him to hand the job over to somebody who gives a fuck about the intruder stuck on his barbed fence.

He gets up, anyway.

Next to him, in the bed that belongs to you because this is your new apartment, Jeongguk stares down at you and feels a tug in his stomach. Guilt, it follows him everywhere like a ghost.

Before he leaves, he likes to give you a little kiss for the morning, so the tingling sensation reminds you that despite being an asshole and leaving without properly saying goodbye, he still gives several shits about you, and will be back when he can be.

(6) Tucking your head into their neck during a hug.

Jeongguk wants to hang Taehyung for making him remember the reasons why you had to move across the city to a new apartment.

It had, of course, been Jeongguk’s fault, and when the notification came from an exhausted worker in his line of work that the alarm system in your apartment had been triggered for an intruder, Jeongguk remembers all he saw was red.

The front door was forced open, a body indent in the wood and the front porch ransacked and littered with shards of glass and bullets. Inside was no prettier, with mess scattered everywhere and photos smashed on the floors. The carpets were stained with red that Jeongguk prayed was just wine, the glass coffee table in two pieces and a knife covered in red on the floor. Jeongguk and his men, along with the few police officers Jeongguk could actually trust in this god-forsaken hellhole, noticed that the blood belonged to one of the intruders who lay dead on the stairs.

Nobody knows how Jeongguk got through the apartment so fast, and why, without any hesitation, he murdered the remaining intruders without suggesting questioning and torture. That was his go-to when it rarely concerned you. He wanted those stupid enough to even try and go after you to really fucking regret it as he picked off fingernails and made them suffer for hours or days. This time he just killed, and moved onwards, calling your name like a mantra.

Jeongguk could have cried when you emerged, petrified, from inside one of the closets. Upon seeing you, Jeongguk collapsed his gun on the floor and stepped towards you protectively, pulling you in tightly for a hug. Sobbing into his neck, you hugged him tighter, feeling finally safe when his hand held the back of your head, like you were a precious thing that was of value.

You were of the highest value to Jeongguk.

“Fuck you,” Jeongguk barks suddenly, and Taehyung shrugs and exits the office. All he had asked was if he loved you.

(7) Lightly kissing on top of a freshly formed bruise.

There might be the assumption that Jeongguk comes home with more bruises than you do. Which is true, technically, and there’s no hesitation from your end in nursing them to a comfortable recovery.

On rare occasion, Jeongguk comes home and finds you exhibiting a new purple blob on your skin. Like today. 

Jeongguk hasn’t seen you in two days, and when he lets himself into your apartment with the key he has glued to him at all times, he follows the silence and light to the bathroom. You sit on the edge of your bathtub, gently rubbing cream on your knee in little circles.

“What happened here?” he asks quickly, and you continue rubbing with your tongue poking out between your lips.

“You’ll laugh, don’t ask,” you mutter.

“Hey, I won’t laugh,” Jeongguk says. He rests his weight against the doorframe, “You open the front door the wrong way again?”

Ha! You laugh humourlessly. “Worse!” You look up at him sadly, “I tripped in the parking lot carrying my groceries. It’s on camera and everything, I want to die.”

Jeongguk pokes the inside of his mouth to resist laughing. “Well, fuck. That’s your leg ruined.”

“I know,” you pout. “Good thing you’re my sugar daddy- wanna pay for cosmetic leg surgery?”

“I like your bruised up legs,” says Jeongguk.

“Me too, but not these ones.”

“Bruh, that’s enough cream on your skin,” Jeongguk exclaims, moving forward to snatch the cream from your hands. “More is not better. Come on, you’re okay.”

“It hurts.”

“Boohoo,” he sighs. You don’t move. “Ugh, whatever. Come’re.”

Jeongguk drops the cream tube onto the sink but it clatters into the bowl. He’ll move it later if he remembers to, and he pretends it’s hard to pick you up off the bathtub and carries you swiftly out of the bathroom and into the living room. Things have barely moved since he last came to visit; the swarms of paper still invade your coffee table and your laptop is on sleep mode by a half-empty coffee cup filled with hot chocolate, because he knows your standing on coffee. Everything is a lot messier now that you’ve decided you want to go back to school, but at least Jeongguk knows it keeps you busy when he’s away.

“Oh,” he says suddenly, as you’re sat down with one leg up around him still. He pokes at a spot on your leg and you squirm, “there’s another one.”

You peer to look, “Oh, yeah, that one’s you.”

“Oh.” He pauses, “Pretty, though.”

You huff like a little baby and he dares you with raised eyebrows. That keeps you silent and Jeongguk moves his body at an angle to the right, sweeping to kiss the bruise better, the bruise that he made a few nights ago with tender love and care.

“All better,” he assures.

“It feels better already.”

“Mm. Magic.”

(8) Buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them.

“So, I was at a school fayre today.”

“Really?” Jeongguk sits with his laptop on his legs, and your legs are tangled around his body like some sort of jungle maze. He rarely works on his bed, not unless the work is sudden and he can’t help it. You’ve just come in, dived on the bed and claimed his waist as something to squeeze your legs around.

“Yep. Like, one of those little craft things where students sell their shit and make money from it. You know, supporting local artists! It’s really cute, if I was good at something I’d have participated.”

Jeongguk thinks of things you’re good at, and there’s a lot. “Aw. There’s always next year.”

“Yeah,” you reason. “Anyway- point is, is that I got you something.”

Jeongguk stills for a second, glancing over his right shoulder to see you, “Me?”

“Yep. You.”

“What did you get?” he asks, and then he’s back to checking blueprints.

You untangle your legs and slide off the bed, retreating to your bag slung across the room by the bedroom door. From here, you take out a small little pin-badge and when you’re sat next to Jeongguk again, you fiddle with it until it catches his attention.

“What’s this?” asks Jeongguk.

“It’s a badge of honour,” you claim, and you slip it into his palms. He fingers the front when he examines it, reading the little words of “Number One Dad” and he stares up at you. “Like it?”

“It’s for me?” he asks again.

“Yeah. You can wear it and like, I don’t know, think of me,” you shrug.

Jeongguk thinks for a moment. Even though it’s stupid, and cliche and a little bit embarrassing, he still thinks it’s funny and thoughtful.

“Want me to wear it to work?” he asks you.

“Oh, absolutely,” you encourage. “I’ll get Taehyung an uncle badge if he gets pissy.”

“Hey, you’re mine and he’s not allowed a relationship to you, no matter what definition,” Jeongguk pouts. “He wants a sugar niece, well...he’ll have to look somewhere else.”

You gape. “Wow. Who thought you had it in you to be so possessive.”

“Please, with a pussy like that of course I’m possessive,” he teases. He’s joking.

“My power,” you sigh anyway, and jump off the bed claiming that you’re hungry. Jeongguk looks at the badge again and pops it in his breast pocket before he loses it and regrets it.

(9) Participating in their hobby even if it doesn’t personally interest you.

Jeongguk’s bored out of his brain.

He has no idea how you can be so fascinated by this stupid game where you’re essentially in debt, but he still sits and watches you tour him around this weird island that is inhabited by ducks and an ugly gorilla villager dressed in pink. And to think that he had a part to play in all of this, because his bank account definitely helped pay for this Nintendo Switch and game.

“Do you like my beach?” you ask him. It’s literally just sand and one coconut tree, and a few shells by the water. Oh, there’s a beach chair on there too, but it makes little difference. “I’m poor, I can’t afford furniture yet.”

“Can’t you just make it?”

“I can, but I’m sick of making axes to collect wood,” you explain with a grudge against the fact that tools now break in this Animal Crossing game. Jeongguk hums like he’s invested, and he tries to be, because he cares about you too much to unintentionally hurt your feelings by displaying his crippling disinterest.

“Oh. Makes sense.”

“Can I show you my hybrid flower garden?”

He sighs. “Yeah, you wanted to show me all of your island, right?”

You nod enthusiastically. “Once you’ve had a tour, I can make you a profile and you can play too. You can live next door to me!”

“Why can’t we share a house?” Jeongguk presses.

“Because I don’t think it works like that, babe,” you confess. “Anyway. Here’s my garden.”

(10) Sitting in comfortable silence while eating a meal.

He’s tired. You’re tired.

The radio plays quietly updating Seoul on the fires that spread across the city today, and Jeongguk smells like smoke and salt. He keeps his head down as he eats his meal, something he brought home with him to make up for the fact that he’s been absent for almost a week now. You have so many things to say and he has so many things he needs to say to make up for everything, but nothing is said tonight.

You know he’s having a hard time, because Jeongguk’s been smoking again. He smoked on the balcony earlier, and once again in the bedroom. There are now ashtrays around your own apartment, and you don’t even smoke. Jeongguk takes a drink of bourbon and swallows it dry.

You look up at him from across the table, not wanting to press the issue when you know it’ll end in an argument, and then sex to make up for it. You’re both too tired to fuck today, too tired to speak. Just being in each other's company is enough for tonight. The only words he says are goodnight and something you don’t catch as you’re drifting off to sleep. Jeongguk’s awake all night, the fires burn until early hours, and the smoke smell is still there in the morning even when he isn’t.

[donutloverxo]

Salty Baby

Chapter four

Authors note- I use the term daddy too liberally to the point where it has become a joke so I didn't think I could write this but here we are lol. If you want in on the taglist let me know. Don't be afraid to leave feedback I don't bite, not in a bad way anyway. Happy reading 💕

Please do not repost or steal my works. Reblogs are welcome.

Summary- When you moved to New York in hopes of living a glamorous life this isn’t what you expected. Steve offers to help you but your pride gets in the way. Pride isn’t going to pay your rent and college loans.

Pairing- Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings- smut, daddy kink, sugar baby/daddy dynamics, slight kink shaming, angst, spanking

Word count- 3.2k

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter five

Masterlist

You woke up the next morning expecting to be on your sisters couch. You rubbed your eyes taking in your surroundings. Then you remembered, you were in Steve’s bedroom. His bed. You clenched your thighs when you felt the dull ache still present from last night’s activities.

You looked around to put something on. To cover your non-existent modesty. You grabbed a sweatshirt that was on top of his dresser. Hoping to be like one of those sexy girl in movies with their morning after glow.

You looked around his living room calling out for him. You didn’t get a chance to get a good look at his apartment last night. You were upset with your sister and then turned on by him.

His apartment, unlike Steve, looked like it didn’t have any personality. All the furniture looked generic, straight out of a IKEA catalogue. Something that caught your eye, the strip of photos you took with him in a photo booth at a fall festival you had been to.

You smiled at it your heart swelling. He was probably more crazy about you than you were about him.

There were a few old framed photo frames beside it. You recognized some of the people. One was of Steve, Peggy Carter and Howard Stark. And another of Steve and probably his best friend Bucky.

Steve always talked fondly of him. He was excited when he mentioned Bucky, but then he’d get this far away lost look in his eyes. If you could take his pain from him, you would. That’s not how it works though. You knew that better than anyone.

You jumped when Steve called your name. “In the kitchen” He yelled.

You entered the kitchen to see him cutting up strawberries. He was wearing a tight white tank top that left very little to your imagination. His usually combed hair now messed up.

“Good morning” He grinned widely at you.

You could certainly feel the afterglow radiating off of him. You felt a bit self conscious, you hadn’t brushed your teeth or made your hair. You were only wearing his sweatshirt that barely reached your legs and looked comically big on you.

“Good morning” You took a seat at the small table. “Oh I don’t drink coffee” You said looking at the cup of coffee in front of you.

“I know that’s for me” He winked at you “I made you some tea” He poured out your tea in a cup setting it in front of you.

You giggled at the smiley face he made on your pancake with strawberries and whipped cream “Thank you” you kissed his cheek.

You both ate your breakfast in what can only be described as comfortable silence. You didn’t feel like you had to talk or entertain him. You were still drained from everything that happened last night and the busy week you had.

“Here” he handed you a key after he had done the dishes.

You took it from him looked at him confused.

“It’s a key” He stated as if it’s a fact.

“I can see that” You deadpanned

“To my apartment. This apartment. I don’t know what you want to do but I’d like you to stay” He said awkwardly turning red. He was always cute like that. “It’s completely okay if you don’t want to. But you said you didn’t like living with your sister”

Which was true. You didn’t get a moments peace with your toddler nephews and your annoying sister. But then again she had always been good at taking advantage of you.

“I... Are you sure?” You asked fiddling with the keychain.

“Yeah. I uh.. have to leave though”

You whipped your head up “Where are you going?”

“Got called up on a mission for two days. Give or take a few. You can stay here as long as you like”

“I know you already said that” You were a bit sad at him leaving but grateful for his kindness.

You decided to stay with Steve at least for a couple of days. Maybe Anna would come to her senses and see just how much she needs you.

Steve dropped you off at your apartment wishing you luck. Which you needed. You’d rather not be here but you had to get your pills. You had been on them since you can remember. You were apprehensive about them at first but they helped control your anaemia. You couldn’t be careless with them now that you were actually sexually active. Your nephews served as excellent encouragement to take birth control.

You opened the door, which Anna forgot to lock as always, and walked into the living room. You hastily started stuffing some clothes, your books and your pills in a bag.

You cringed when you heard Anna call out your name. You turned around to see her glaring at you.

“Where were you last night?” She spat obviously still fuming at you.

“I was at my boyfriends” You continued packing your things. The sooner you’re out of here the better.

“Well where do you think you’re going now?” She folded her hands staring you down. As if that would stop you.

“I’m going to live with him from now on”

“What?!” she yelled you cringed again. “Who is this guy? I’ve never even met him. You’ve known him for a month! You know better than that” She said condescendingly shaking her head.

She had some nerve questioning your life choices. “Didn’t you and Brock have a shot gun wedding?”

“Doesn’t he live in Manhattan? How are you going to afford rent?” She evaded your question.

Steve would never even let you pay for popcorn you highly doubt he'd ask for rent. “You don’t have to worry about that” You strapped the bag onto your shoulders.

“You’ve known him for a month! Have you lost your mind!”

“I know him enough. I’m in love with him” you looked at her shocked at your own words. You had never told anyone you loved them. You had surely never been in love. There wasn’t much to not love about Steve. But would he feel the same way?

“Oh my god. You went and got yourself a sugar daddy”

“What the fuck is that? I don’t do those kind of things!” You had heard of it being a kink from your classmates and coworkers. However it never appealed to you.

“Yeah you made fun of me for letting men take care of me and now you’re doing the exact same thing”

“Whatever” You waved her off. You had packed as much as you could. You still had a few things left, but you could take care of them later. “Don’t I deserve to be taken care of? After everything I’ve been through?” You suppressed the urge to smack her when she rolled her eyes at you. “Can I say goodbye to the kids?” You asked.

They were little cretins but they were occasionally somewhat nice to you. After hugging them both, they probably couldn’t understand that you wouldn’t be living with them anymore, and some more glares and swears from Anna, you left deciding to never look back.

***

It had been over a month since your fight with Anna. You were still living with Steve. He had convinced you to quit your job at the cafe. It ate up too much of your time. You didn’t need the money now that you didn’t have to pay rent. You still had your job at your college library.

You had found, after doing a quick google search, that a sugar daddy is 'a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company or sexual favours'

Which was true for you and Steve. He was older than you, by almost a century. You weren’t sure if he was rich. You thought so but it was hard to tell with his simple and humble way of life. You never bothered to ask him because it didn’t really matter. He liked to buy you things. You accepted them to indulge him. It was hard to say no when he looked at you with those puppy eyes.

The search for what sugar daddy meant sent you into a deeper dive. Full of porn and erotica with women and men calling their partners daddy. You still couldn’t comprehend it’s appeal. Why would anyone be turned on by that?

You did clench your thighs together, rubbing them whenever you thought of Steve like that. He was somewhat of a ‘daddy’ in bed. In the way that he always took care of you, never letting you do too much work, always making you feel protected. You would be too exhausted from all the orgasms anyway.

It was very vanilla and conventional, you mostly only had soft slow missionary sex. Steve was afraid to hurt you which you understood. You weren’t keen on getting hurt either. Maybe some kinds of hurt weren’t so bad...

It maybe vanilla and boring to some people but to you it was passionate and satisfying in every way.

You were lying on your back, panting heavily from the multiple orgasms Steve had given you with his mouth.

You wiped your forehead with your right hand, catching a glimpse of the platinum bracelet he’d got you for your two month anniversary. He loved celebrating the little things in life. You would too if you were frozen in ice for seventy years.

He had taken you for that horse carriage he was so excited about and a nice dinner. You did feel bad about not getting him anything. However he didn’t seem to mind. You had to repay him somehow.

You felt him line himself up to your entrance. This has been the routine more or less for the past month. Almost everyday Steve would eat you out and then make love to you until you couldn’t even walk straight. He never even let you get a good look at his dick.

You abruptly stopped him sitting up straight. He looked at you confused. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

You gave him a evil smirk matched inversely by your big innocent eyes. You licked a strip up your hand all the while maintaining eye contact with him. Taking his thick length in your hand you started stroking it. Slowly and steadily building up your pace.

You had never sucked a cock before. You didn’t think you could, considering just how big and thick Steve was. But looking at the white creamy slick coming out of his angry red tip, you had to get a taste. You did owe him after all.

You placed a small kiss on the tip smearing some of his cum on your lips. You dragged you tongue over your bottom lip to get a taste. It was salty and musky. In a strange way it tasted a lot like Steve.

Feeling a bit more sure of yourself you licked a few stripes up his tip and then moved on to licking his slit.

Steve was cursing and moaning above you. He had bunched up your hair in his hand. He was always afraid to lose control, he had a reputation to maintain after all.

He grabbed a hold of your chin, making you look up at him. “You don’t have to do that” His hard cock in your hand and his shortness of breath betrayed his words.

You ignored him, continuing to lick him up and savor as much of his delicious taste as you can. Finally you took him in your mouth, sucking and swirling your tongue around his tip. You couldn’t swallow him whole so you stroked the rest of his length with your hand.

He bunched up your hair in his hand tugging it before letting go and holding onto your shoulder.

You weren’t having it. You took his hand putting it on the back of your head. Silently asking him to fuck your face.

He choked a groan back when he looked down at you. His cock in your mouth, your beautiful eyes pleading him to fuck you. He used both his hand to grab onto your face stilling you. He thrusted himself in and out of your mouth, being careful not to be too hard, he didn’t want you choking on him. He directed you to fondle his balls. You complied. You always complied with him.

He felt himself on the edge of orgasm. But he didn’t want to come in your mouth. He pulled out of your mouth.

“I want your come in my mouth” You whined trying to swallow him whole again.

He smacked your hands away. He gave his cock a few strokes with his hand, much to your dismay. You just looked so cute scowling at him. “Some other time” He grunted giving his cock a some more strokes before stopping “let’s try something new. Get on your hands and knees” he ordered.

Like the good girl that you were you arched your ass presenting it to him. He grabbed and groped at it before sliding into you, which was fairly easy considering how soaked you were. He rutted in you for a while you whined and thrashed.

“Daddy” You moaned.

He stilled his thrusts. His hands still holding onto your hips. Did you say what he think you said?

“What did you say?” He asked just to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.

You avoid him grinding onto his cock to distract him. He squeezed your hips, stopping your movements. Bending over he draped himself on your back. “What did you say?” He whispered in your hair.

“Daddy” You mumbled.

He kneeled back to his original position and carried on with his assault on your pussy. He spread your cheeks to get a good look at his cock sliding in and out of you. It was soaked in yours and his juices.

“Say it again” when you hesitated he gave a harsh slap to your asscheek. If you were going to call him daddy he had to act like one.

“Fuck daddy” You groaned “Spank me again” You begged.

He slapped your ass a couple more time before spreading them to look at the mesmerizing scene again.

“Oh god I’m going to come” You slithered and squirmed under him screaming profanities at him while he fucked you through your orgasm. Your hands and legs gave out. You dropped to your stomach trying hard to hold on for him

He felt himself tipping over the edge again. He bent down to hug you. He curled his hands under you one fondling your breast and the other stroking your stomach.

He always needed to be close to you when he filled you up. His thrusts because erratic, almost inhumane.

“I love you” he groaned as he came inside you, filling you up. He tried not to drop too much of his weight on you.

After a while he pulled out and covered you both with the comforter, spooning you.

“Hey you asleep?” he shifted a bit to get comfortable. With no answer from you “I meant it you know. I love you” he continued.

“I love you too” you murmured. It didn’t feel strange when the words rolled off of your tongue like you expected. It felt easy and safe. “You make me feel safe” You whispered shyly “And not just because you’re strong. But because you’re you...”

He smiled to himself. You made him feel safe as well. Safe to be himself and to not have to pretend. He kissed your hair feeling himself fall for you even harder.

[yaimlight]

Title: Twos Company, Threes a Crowd

Rating: 18+

Pairings: Bakugou Katsuki x reader / Todoroki Shoto x reader / Bakugou Katsuki x reader x Todoroki Shoto

Series: Twos Company, Threes a Crowd

Cross post on AO3. Find me under LokiLover89

Summary: All he had wanted was a hot shower, some food and to sink into bed with a warm body beside him. Turned out that Katsuki had a similar idea and they couldn’t both get what they wanted. So winner takes all, being able to decide how this evening played out for all of them and Shouto really couldn’t complain when he got exactly what he wanted in the end.

Grunting Shoto stumbled back as Katsuki slammed into him, his feet slipping on the work out mat from the force. He pushed back against the other man, shoving his shoulder into his chest, trying to find an opening. Katsuki growled, baring his teeth and shoving back not giving Shoto an inch. His shoulder aching he did the only thing he could in that moment, Moving quickly to the side and spinning away from the other man. Katsuki stumbled forward slightly at the sudden loss of the other body but quickly regained his footing. They circled around one another, breathing heavily and sweating just as much. Katsuki’s hands flexed, the way they often would before he went to use his explosive quirks but that was not allowed. They were in a small work out studio after all and despite how much easier things would be for Shoto to use his quirk, how much quicker this fight would be over if the both could, neither one of them wanted to deal with the hassle and repair bill they would get for destroying the room.

Movement out the corner of his eye caught Shoto’s attention and despite know he shouldn’t let his guard down like that he couldn’t help but look at the women who was the cause of this fight. She was sat atop a stack of mats against the wall, leaning back on her arms as she watched them intently. She was dressed in her own work out gear, the black of her sports bra and matching shorts pulled tight against her flawless skin and drawing his attention to everything it wasn’t covering. His eyes flicked up to her mouth as her plump lips parted as she sucked hungrily on the lollipop that she never seemed to be without. Noticing him watching her she wink, smirking around the sweet treat as she pulled it from between her lips with an obscene moan.

He felt a deep heat setting low in his stomach as his minds wondered back to that morning and the way he had been awoken. His moment of distraction had lasted a few seconds but it was the opening that Katsuki had needed.

Taking advantage of Shoto’s attention being else where he darted forward, swinging his fist. Shoto’s hand darted out at the last minute, only just catching the movement and shoving the man’s hand away enough to miss it connecting solidly with his face, but not enough to avoid it all together. Katsuki’s fist grazed his chin causing Shoto to stumble back slightly. He would have been fine, would have been able to find his footing and launch his own counter attack. He would have but Katsuki kicked his leg out, knocking Shoto’s feet out from beneath him.

He fell to the padded floor with a loud ouf, only just getting his arms under him to prevent his face from smacking against the floor. Groaning he went to push himself up only to find a heavy weight above him. Katsuki loomed over him, one leg shoved between his and pressing hard against his ass. One hand wrapped around Shoto’s wrist, tugging his arm back and twisting it behind his back, the other hand next to Shoto’s head supporting his weight. Katsuki pressed his front against his back as he leaned forward, his hot breath tickling across Shoto’s ear as he growled at him. “Stay down” and Shoto did. All the fight drained out of him as he let himself collapse completely against the floor. He was tired and everything ached. They had been at this over an hour now and Shoto had already been tired when they came in, his patrol having been full of petty criminals that had done nothing but resist, foolishly putting up a fight. All he had wanted was a hot shower, some food and to sink into bed with y/n beside him. Turned out that Katsuki had had a similar idea and they couldn’t both get what they wanted. So winner took all, being able to decide how this evening played out for all of them.

The sound of fabric rustling filled the small room followed by a dull thud as y/n slid of the mats, the sound echoing around the room. Grunting Shoto looked up, Katsuki shifting above him to do the same. They both watched as she walked towards them, wide smile tugging at her lips as she slip the lollipop between them. “Well, wasn’t that quite the display” she mocked them, knowing full well that it was all her fault having been the one to suggest a fight, even if it had been in jest. She should know by now that Katsuki always accepted a challenge to fight but that had probably been why she had suggested it in the first place.

Katsuki grunted above him as he let go of Shoto’s arm and pushed himself up. As soon as Katsuki’s weight was gone Shoto rolled onto his back, watching the two people move above him. “Told you I would beat him in hand to hand” Bakugou sounded so smug, wide smirk pulling the corner of his moth up and exposing his teeth. Shoto frowned. He had no right to be acting so smug it had still taken him over an hour to get Shoto onto the mat and he had made Katsuki work for it as well considering how heavy the other man was breathing and the sweat glistening on his skin. Grunting Shoto kicked out taking the other man by surprise as his foot connected with his calf and swept forward, knocking Bakugou to the floor with a loud thud and an accompanying grunt of pain. “Fucking asshole” he grumbled hand flying out to hit Shoto in the stomach causing him to let out his own pained moan.

Laughter rang loud and clear from above and Shoto tipped his head back to watch the only other person in the room. She radiated beauty, smiling gently down at then as they still continued to bicker even though the fight was over. Despite how sore he felt Shoto smiled back, her good mood infectious. “I don’t know about you two but I am in need of a shower” with that said she started to walk away from them heading towards the door. “You two coming or what?” She yelled over her shoulder as she pushed the doors open and disappeared through them. They bother led there for a heartbeat before they both groaned in unison, rolling over to push themselves up of the floor. They did both stink and hopefully the hot water would help ease Shoto’s aching joints.

~*~

The walk back to the apartment had been uneventful to say the least. The early evening sun shone down on them as they walked the still busy streets. Katsuki had his arm sling around y/n shoulders having already claimed his prize. Shoto walked to the side listening to the two of them chatter, shooting them sideward glances every now and then. He couldn’t deny how good they looked together, there looks complementing the other. They looked like they had stepped right off the pages of some glossy magazine, especially with the dimming sun glowing behind them. It had used to bother Shoto how good they had looked together and how strange and awkward he had looked in comparison but over the years he had come to terms that he was considered handsome as well. Maybe not in the conventional way but desired none the less and more importantly by the people whose opinion he valued most.

They had had to stop a few times on the way, fans noticing them despite their casual cloths but he supposed it was bound to happen with his and Bakugou’s distinctive hair styles and the fact that three of the top ten pro heroes were out together. By morning there photos would be plastered all over social media and trashy magazines, all of them with something to say about their strange relationship. Shoto had stopped caring what other people thought a long time ago but it still irritated him that these strangers thought they had a say in how they spent their free time and with who they did it with.

By the time they made it back to the apartment the sun had set and the moon was casting a gentle glow across the otherwise darkened rooms. Bags were dumped on the floor, shoes kicked off and coats hung up before they moved almost as one into the open plan living space. Y/n peeled off, heading towards the kitchen and straight to the fridge. “Beer?” She called over her shoulder as she bent forward to rummage around inside. Katsuki grunted his reply but Shoto stayed quite, his body tense as he waited to see what would come next. Y/n turned with 3 beers in hand and kicking the fridge door closed.

Shoto took the offered drink, smiling softly in thanks. He hadn’t intended to drink but now he had the alcohol in hand he was suddenly grateful for it, bringing the cool glass to his lips and gulping down a large mouthful of the drink, never taking his eyes off the couple in front of him.

Katsuki smiled as he took the offered bottle in one hand, the other snaking around her waist and pulling her tight against his front. She giggled sweetly at him pressing her free hand flat against his chest. Katsuki was grinning now, a hungry glint to his red eyes. In one quick move he ducked his head down to press his lips against hers, the hand at her waist slipping down her leg to her knee, hosting her leg up to his side. She wrapped her arms around his neck, moaning into the kiss. Shoto could practically see the moment when Katsuki shoved his tongue into her mouth, forcing her lips wide as he licked inside. The hand that had been holding her leg started to slide up her thigh, pushing the hem of her sun dress up and exposing her soft skin to his grouping hands and Shoto’s hungry eyes.

The kiss ended as abruptly as it started, y/n groaning as he pulled away, letting her leg go so she could stand once again. Grabbing her chin between his finger and thumb Katsuki tipped her head back so they could look one another in the eye. “Shower. Now. And be quick about it” Katsuki’s voice was firm as he made his demand, leaving no room for disagreement. Huffing y/n rolled her eyes but went all the same, sipping from her own bottle as she did so. The sound of the bathroom door opening and closing was loud in the otherwise quiet room and it wasn’t long before the faint sound of water running could be heard throughout the apartment.

Shoto and Katsuki stayed unmoving at either end of the couch, watching the other. Huffing Katsuki brought his drink to his lips drinking deeply from the bottle. Shoto could practically feel the other man’s eyes as they raked over him, probably already noticing his half hard dick as it started to tent the front of his jeans. He couldn’t help it though. He had thought for a minute that Katsuki was going to fuck her there and then in the living room, his heart racing at the thought of just having to stand there and watch.

Grunting Katsuki jerked his head to the side “come on” his voice low and growling as he demanded Shoto followed him. And like the good little dog he was Shoto followed him into his bedroom, quickly gulping down the last of his beer as he went. He had no idea what to expect once inside the spacious room but he knew he would need the drink to relax even just a little.

Once inside Bakugou went straight over to the chair in the corner and sank down into it, flicking the small lamp on as he went. Shoto was left to stand awkwardly in the middle of the room wondering what he was supposed be doing now. Katsuki sat back in the chair, back straight but his legs spread wide, pulling the fabric of his trousers tight across his staring erection. Shoto couldn’t help but stare, the man oozing confidence and control. He had won the fight after all and tonight was his to control. They were his to control.

“Take it off” Katsuki demanded before taking another drink for him bottle. Sharp red eyes watched intently as Shoto sighed, moving to place his empty bottle on the bed side table before turning back towards the other man. He made quick work of unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He was determined not to give the blond a show. He would be quick and methodical, just like he was on his own. It wasn’t because he was shy or embarrassed, he knew he looked good with defined muscles but they just weren’t as obvious as Bakugou’s. No he wasn’t shy or embarrassed he just never saw the point in dragging something like this out. Plus he didn’t want to give Katsuki the satisfactions performing for him.

Sure hands went to his trousers next, unbuttoning them quickly before sliding his hands into the waistband of his underwear, intent on getting them both off in one go, no point in wasting time. “Leave the underwear on” Katsuki’s gruff command had Shoto’s head jerking up from where he had bent over to push the garments down. He was still sat in the chair, head turned towards the door and sipping on his beer, the image of nonchalant but his eyes were trained on Shoto, watching every move. When Shoto didn’t move Katsuki raised one blond eyebrow at him, almost daring Shoto to define him. Huffing in annoyance he slipped his hands out of his pants and shoved his trousers down, yanking them and his socks off at the same time and kicking them out of his way.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Shoto stood with his back straight and head held high, glaring at the blond. He may have agreed to let Bakugou decide how things would go this night but it didn’t mean he was going to make things easy for the man. Plus Katsuki was annoyingly hot when he got angry.

Narrowing his eyes Katsuki jerked his head towards the bed. “Sit” his voice was low but had an edge to it that sent a shiver down Shoto’s spine. Huffing Shoto turned to crawl into the bed, shoving the pillows up against the head board and making himself comfortable. The room fell silent once again the muffled sound of water running filling the space. Shoto couldn’t help but squirm under Katsuki’s unwavering gaze, Katsuki smirking at his obvious discomfort.

The minuets seemed to drag by as Shoto shifted once again, moving his legs so they were stretched out in front of him. It seemed he wasn’t the only one getting impatient though, Katsuki starting to drum his fingers along the wooden arm rest. Knowing y/n she was probably doing it on purpose, trying to wind Katsuki up. Shoto could see it working, the blond clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes at the doorway. He knocked back the last of his beer, slamming the bottle down on top of the set of draws next to him. Both hands curled around the ends of the arm rest, getting ready to push himself up and probably go drag her out of the shower regardless of if she was ready or not. But just as he went to lift himself up the shower stopped, the apartment falling into silence.

Grunting Katsuki let himself fall back down into the chair, lounging back and spreading his legs once more. Shoto heard the door down the hall opening and his heart rate picked up already anticipating what he would have to sit through tonight, unable to do anything but watch.

“Sorry it took so long, there was a stubborn dirt spot that just wouldn’t budge” y/n playful voice floated into the room before she turned into the doorway, stopping to lean against the frame. Shoto’s mouth watered at the sight. The white towel she had wrapped around her left very little to the imagination, the cloth only just covering her. The top of her breasts peaked out for the top, water droplets sliding down into the deep valley between them. The bottom of the towel fell to mid-thigh but the sides hung open slightly, exposing more of her perfectly soft skin.

Shoto’s hands itched to touch, wanting nothing more in that moment then to leap of the bed and pull the cloth away from her, exposing all of her to his hungry mouth and searching hands. But he had been told to sit and until told otherwise he would have to stay where he was.

“Come here” Katsuki grunted and y/n pushed away from the door, bringing a hand up to push her suspiciously dry hair back. She didn’t even look at Shoto, not once, her bright eyes and little smirk trained on Bakugou. It made him feel small, insignificant, nothing more than a perverted voyeur. Embarrassment swelled inside of him, after all these years still unable to shake the shame he felt at enjoying watching the other two get lost in one another. Bakugou knew this, knew what Shoto liked and knew that it would get him riled up. Probably was why he was keeping Shoto away, Katsuki never missing an opportunity to get under his skin.

A loud groan pulled Shoto’s attention back to the couple in front of him. She now stood between Katsuki’s legs, his large hands sliding up her legs and pushing the edge of towel up, exposing the curve of her arse. Giving her plump cheeks a quick squeeze Katsuki brought his hands up to tug at the towel, pulling it lose and letting it fall to the floor, exposing her to both of their hungry eyes.

His hands grabbed her hips, finger tips brushing over the swell of her ass as he leaned forward, his eyes connecting with Shoto’s as he sucked a pert nibble into his mouth. Shoto sucked in a breath as she groaned, head tipping back and lips opened in pleasure. They were stood in a way that Shoto could see everything. Every swipe of tongue, every nip and suck. Katsuki worshipped her breasts, laying a mix of gentle and biting kisses across the sensitive flesh causing her to moan and gasp. One of her hands had come up to Katsuki’s hair, threading her fingers through his spiked hair and tugging gently every time he hit a particularly sensitive spot.

Shoto’s dick twitched impatiently in the confides of his underwear, remembering the very similar trail his own lips had taken that morning, the phantom brush of lips against skin making him gasp, his tongue darting out between parted lips in a pale imitation of what Katsuki was currently doing, his crimson eyes boring into Shoto with a knowing glint. One last time Katsuki flicked he tongue across her hardened bud before pulling away, smirking triumphantly as she let out an annoyed groan.

“On your knees” he grunted, leaning back in the chair and letting go of her hips. Instantly she dropped to the floor, her knees hitting the carpet with a soft thud. In moments like this she became so responsive, so obedient and Katsuki knew how to play her, had almost made an art out of getting her to sing for him and Shoto got to reveal in the outcome.

Wordlessly he lifted his hips, just enough so she could yank his sweats and underwear down, his large dick springing free and slapping against his stomach. The head was angry and red looking, glistening with precum. So Shoto wasn’t the only one affected by this little game.

Once his trousers had been chucked to the side y/n slid her hands up the inside of Bakugou’s legs, searching out her prize but he soon put a stop to that. “No hands” he growled, glaring down at her. The command wasn’t directed at him but Shoto still snapped his hands back to his sides, unaware that they had been reaching out to rub at his own staring dick.

In front of him y/n let out an amused huff, dragging her hands back down his thighs, blunt nails scratching as they went causing Katsuki to hiss at the gentle sting of pain. Shifting closer and making herself more comfortable she brought her hands behind her, wrapping her fingers around her ankles. She never broke eye contact with Katsuki as she leaned forward slightly, opening her mouth wide in invitation.

Katsuki smirked, a menacing glint in his eyes as he looked over to Shoto, winking at him as he grabbed a fistful of hair and shoved her face down, his dick sliding between her parted lips until he completely invaded in her heat. All three of them moaned at the action and for the first time since this had started she looked at Shoto. His breath stuttered, trapped in her gaze as Katsuki used the hand in her hair to yank her had back and then shove it down again. It was a brutal and fast pace. Tears leaked from her eyes and slid down her cheeks as Katsuki fucked himself down her throat. Still she watched Shoto through unfocused eyes, moaning wantonly around the hard member stretching her mouth wide.

Shoto wished to be in Katsuki’s place, to feel that tight wet heat around him as she sucked and slurped, dragging his pleasure out of him with a flick of her sinful tongue. Neither he nor Katsuki would be considered small but she had never had a problem accommodating them, her lack of a gag reflex helping to spur their pleasure on. He wanted that feeling of bliss, to be able to rub at her throat and feel himself pressing against her. To be the reason her eyes welled up as he choked her on his release.

As if he could reed Shoto’s thoughts Katsuki wound his other hand into her hair and forced her head down as his hips surged up, shoving himself as far down her throat as he could. He held her there, both of them watching as her tears feel quicker, checks turning red as she struggled to breathe through her nose. Her eyes rolled back, eyelashes fluttering and hands flexing on her ankles and Shoto could tell she was reaching her limit. Sensing the same Katsuki slowly pulled her off him, groaning as he did so. As soon as he was out of her mouth she collapsed forward, gasping for air. Her head rested against Katsuki’s thigh, his once tight grip now lose as he stroked over her hair, letting her adjust. It was a tenner moment and Shoto couldn’t help but feel he was intruding.

The moment was broken though as Katsuki let out a surprised groan, fingers tightening in her hair once again. She was smirking as she sucked at the spit slicked head of Katsuki’s cock. Grunting Bakugou tightened his grip on her hair and yanked it back, forcing her eyes to meet his, glaring down at her. “Such a hungry little cock slut” his voice was deep and rumbling, the filthy words dripping from his tongue like silk. Letting go of her hair Katsuki wrapped a large hand around her arm, pulling her to her feet as he to stood up. Katsuki crashed his lips down on hers dragging a startled moan for her.

Shoto shifted, uncrossing his legs and regretting it instantly as it pulled his pants tight over his swollen member. A wet spot had appeared on the front as he leaked precum. He wanted to touch, not caring who just wanting to feel something beneath his hands. Her breasts, Katsuki’s mussels or his own dick, just as long as he could get his hands on something.

So lost in his thoughts Shoto barely noticed Katsuki half shoving, half throwing her into the bed. Quickly he spread his legs as she hit the bed, bouncing slightly at the force, the top of her head just a few inches from Shoto’s groin. Growling Shoto looked up, ready to rip into Katsuki about how badly that little stunt could have gone but what was before him had his voice abandoning him, mouth closing with an audible click.

Some when in the last few moments Katsuki had rid himself of his top and had descended onto the women below, crashing their lips together in yet another heated kiss as his hand began to wonder. Despite how long the three of them had been doing this Shoto had never seen Katsuki completely naked. He had seen the other man topless with his trousers hung low on his hips. Had seen him with his trousers shucked off, his ass and hard prick on display or even with his trousers shoved down under his ass and top pushed up enough to expose his abs but never had he seen Bakugou without any clothing. Shoto had been missing out, his rather limited imagination not being able to comprehend how the two separate images would merge together to make one extremely ripped and incredibly hot Bakugou Katsuki.

A low moan filled the room and Shoto looked down at the couple between his legs. Katsuki had abandoned her lips, now kissing and nipping his way down her body. He sucked one nipple into his mouth pinched and rubbed the other between callus fingers. Shoto shuffled back slightly, sitting up straighter so he could get a better look at what was happening before him. If all he could do was look tonight he would make sure he remembered everything he could for when he got himself off latter.

His hands grasped at the sheets next to him, trying to prevent himself from leaning forward and joining in. Growling Katsuki continued to kiss down her body, sliding of the bed to kneel on the floor, red eyes searching his out. Shoto felt trapped in his gaze, unable to look away as Katsuki lifted her legs onto his shoulders, pulling her closer to him. The smirk he shot Shoto was nothing less than smug and menacing, sending the duel quirk user a quick wink before he ducked down, head disappearing between spread thighs.

Shoto knew the moment Katsuki started to work her other his fingers and mouth. Her back arched of the bed, gasping as her head tipped back, her hands coming up to grab onto Katsuki’s hair. Her delicate fingers only just brushing the tips of his hair before his hand shot up and knocked hers away, his mouth not stopping his assault. Shoto expected her to try again, she loved to get her hands on their hair and would often tug or pet it when she was in the throes of passion. He knew Katsuki loved it as much as he did, the dull scratch of her nails across his scalp, the gentle tug as she cried out for more.

Instead she lifted her arms above her head, splaying her hands over Shoto’s thighs. He couldn’t help but moan, his hips stuttering up at the first contact he had received all evening. He wanted nothing more than to feel her hands slid upwards, to have them working against his hardness but they never did. Instead her hands clenched down, nails digging in slightly whenever Katsuki hit a good spot. She wasn’t being quite now, gasping and moaning Katsuki’s name, crying out for more, trying to grind down on Katsuki’s face and finger. Shoto couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous that all her attention was focused on the other man, that Katsuki was the one drawing such sounds out her and not him. Shoto loved the taste of her on his lips, could and had spent hours between her legs drawing those noises from her, moaning alongside her as her realise flooded his mouth. He licked at his lips, hungry for a taste.

With a loud cry she arched of the bed once more, nails sinking into the muscles on Shoto’s thighs and heels digging into Katsuki’s back, her whole body going taught as she came. As suddenly as her release had struck, she relaxed, body falling back to the bed and her fingers realising his thigh. He would have bruises come the morning he was sure of it, dark spots of pain that his suit would rub against every time he moved.

She groaned as Katsuki pulled away, her legs slipping off his shoulders as he went. He was smirking again, flashing his white teeth as he began to crawl up the bed. Shoto licked at his lips as he took in Katsuki’s wide eyes and rose tinted cheeks. His Lips were red and glistening as was his chin, the bottom half of his face covered with her juices.

Once he was hovering over her, her legs spread wide to accommodate him Katsuki looked him straight in the eyes. Shoto hadn’t even realized he had been leaning forward until that moment, there faces a lot closer than they should have been. Slowly Katsuki lifted his hand, the whole thing glistening in the light. Shoto opened his mouth slightly, tongue just poked out as he expected the other man to shove his fingers in Shoto’s waiting mouth. He had to wonder how many fingers Katsuki had had inside her and how much she had gotten off on what just happened for his hand to be so drenched.

Katsuki’s smirk turned menacing as he reached past Shoto’s waiting lips and gently slapped his hand against his cheek, dragging is hand down and across his lips, smearing her come over Shoto’s face. Shoto’s eyes widened in surprise as Katsuki moved back turning his attention back to the women below him, ducking down to claim her mouth in a brushing kiss, forcing her to taste herself. She didn’t seem to care that much if the filthy moan she let out was anything to go by, wrapping her arms around his neck and across his shoulders as she kissed him back.

Shoto licked at his lips, the faint taste he had been craving enough to have him moaning. Katsuki was a fucking tease, only letting Shoto have a hint of what he desired. This whole night was nothing but a tease, Katsuki taunting him with what he couldn’t have tonight and it was getting to Shoto. He hadn’t been this hard in ages, his dick throbbing and borderline painful. At this rate he would probably cum just from the brush of a fingers and it would still be one of the best organism of his life.

Slumping back against the headboard Shoto ran a shaking hand through his hair, pushing the long strands away from his face as he watched them making out. One of Katsuki’s hands slid down her side to grab at her knee, yanking it up against his side and shifting so he can support his weight on the other arm he had braced against the bed. He pulled away from the kiss, eyes shifting once again to Shoto as he leaned in to whisper something into her ear. Shoto couldn’t hear what was said but from the small moan and the nod of her head he could only assume Katsuki had gotten her permission to do something. He should probably be nervous but as lost in the moment as he was Shoto didn’t care.

Katsuki’s smile was almost predatory as he shifted once more, hiking her leg up higher against his side and his eyes going back to the women beneath him. “Fuck!” Katsuki shouted entering her in one quick thrust, causing him to cry out as well. They stayed still for just a moment, heads pressed together as they painted into the others mouth. Once Katsuki had regained his composure he rolled his hips just once before he started to pick up the pace, thrusting into her hard and fast. Her hands scrabbles at his back, nails digging in and wailing her pleasure. Shoto couldn’t believe that they were going at it between his spread legs, acting as if he want even there. Every thrust caused the bed to groan and the headboard to thump gently against the wall.

Shoto could see the red marks scratched across Katsuki’s back, could feel the other man’s growl vibrating through his body. Her head was nudging at Shoto’s thigh, her whole body being pushed ever so slightly up the bed with every thrust. Shoto let his hand move, his resolve finally snapping as he ran one hand through her hair and the other sliding gently across her shoulder and collar bone. The low warning growl that came from Katsuki had Shoto’s hand stilling, his eyes flicking up from the gasping women below him to the angry looking man in front of him.

Katsuki had stopped moving, all his attention now on Shoto. “Off” instantly Shoto let go, hands snapping back to his sides at the command. His dick twitched at the authority that one word had carried, loving how Katsuki took control. He didn’t do it often with Shoto but when he did it go him going in seconds. A small whine had both of them looking down at y/n as she squirmed, growing impatient at the look of movement. “Katsuki please” she gasped, try to hook the leg he was holding over his hips and pull him back down.

Katsuki laughed, dropping his head down to nudge at her nose with him. “Well who am I to refuse such a pretty girl” Katsuki breathed against her lips before quickly kissing her.

Shoto expected him to go straight back to trying to fuck the life out of her but instead he pulled back out of her grasp, letting her leg go to fall back to the bed. His large hands wrapped around her hips and in one quick move he had flipped her onto her stomach. “On your knees” he commanded, his hand connecting with her ass with a loud slap as she failed to move as quickly as he wanted. Gasping she jerked up the bed at the sudden contact and Shoto moaned, her hot breath fanning out across his sensitive dick. The change of position had her head tight above his trapped member, their eyes meeting as she licked at her lips.

Katsuki’s laughter had Shoto looking up at him once again, eyes wide in confusion. Katsuki shuffled forward, slapping her ass again as he positioned himself behind her. His hands grabbed her hips once more and he thrust back into her in one swift move. She cried out, her mouth hanging open as Katsuki picked up the same bruising pace as before.

Shoto’s head fell back against the headboard, fist clenching in the bed sheets as he tried not the thrust forward. Her mouth was so close and he could feel every gasp and cry, her hot breath making him twitch every time. This was a new level of torture and Shoto didn’t know how long he would last, convinced that he would be able to cum just from this, without having actually been touched. Katsuki would never let him live it down if he did.

Shoto didn’t know how long this went on but it seemed like hours though in reality it was probably only minuets but suddenly the damp heat on his dick was gone. He opened his eyes, not even realising he had closed them, to find that Katsuki had moved them yet again. He was kneeling on the bed, her back pulled flat against his chest, exposing her to Shoto completely. He could see where Katsuki was buried deep inside her, her juices dripping down his shaft. Her chest was heaving as she gasped for breath, one of Katsuki’s hand spread across her throat and jaw, the other grasping her hip tightly. Using his grip on her to keep them steady Katsuki started to move again, shallow thrusts that had her hands scrambling for his thighs and crying out his name. He smirked at Shoto over her should, his teeth dragging across her skin.

Both of them were covered in a sheen of sweat and flushed red. Shoto could see the muscles in her stomach and leg tightening, signalling that she was close. Katsuki must have noticed that as well as the hand that had been holding her hip slid forward, his fingers sliding between her wet folds. Instead of moving his fingers though Katsuki kept them still, winking at Shoto as he looked at him in confusion.

Everything seemed to happen at once. She cried out, loud and sharp, her body going ridged as she climaxed again, small sparks jumping from Katsuki’s fingers as he used his quirk, letting of small explosions against the sensitive nub. Katsuki followed close behind, his movement stilling and sinking his teeth into her flesh where her neck joined her shoulder. She cried out again, leaning back again Katsuki and tipped her head to the side, giving him more room.

Shoto watched, breathing heavily as Katsuki moved his mouth away, laying gentle kisses against the abused flesh. The bite mark was angry, red and deep. It would be there for days afterwards, a constant reminder of who she belonged to, that she wouldn’t be able to hide beneath their hero costume. Shoto wanted so much to slot his own mouth over the same place and bite down, their bite marks overlapping. Everyone would see it and know what they had been doing and she would wear them with pride, just like she always did with any mark they left on her.

They both groaned as Katsuki pulled out, both his hands gently holding her hips as he moved back. Shoto watched transfixed between her legs, watching as Katsuki’s softening dick slipped free. It was only then did Shoto realise that Katsuki hadn’t worn any protection, both of their juices mixing together and dripping out of her into the bed. Shoto groaned, imagining how that would feel around his own dick, all that extra slick as he fucked up into her. It would be messy but Shoto knew it would feel amazing.

Katsuki let go of her hips, moving off the bed as she slumped forward, her hands landing on either side of Shoto’s hips, stopping herself from falling on top of him completely. “Don’t move, I ain’t finished with you two yet” Katsuki yelled over his shoulder as moved across the room and disappeared through the door, not even waiting for an answer.

The room feel into silence, neither of them moving. She was breathing steadily now, her head resting against the inside of Shoto’s thigh, the little puffs of air tickling slightly. “You ah, you okay” he managed to grit out, his throat dry and scratching. “I’m good” she mumbled, lips brush against his skin and causing his dick to twitch. She was so close and he desperately wanted his own release. Groaning gently she turned her head towards him, the side of her face pressed against his cool leg, her eyes meeting his. “Just sore is all” she smiled up at him and Shoto couldn’t help but smile back at her, bring his hand up to run through her hair, covering it with a thin layer of ice to help cool her down. She hummed in appreciation, her eyes flutter closed. “Ummm. I can imagine, but you seemed to enjoy it” he tugged gently at her hair, raising an eyebrow at her as she smirked up at him, eyes opening just enough to see him. “So did you” she teased back and Shoto hummed his agreement. He had enjoyed it, watching Bakugou break her down into a trembling mess. When this had all started he had been so sure Katsuki would leave him in the corner, making him watch and leaving him unsatisfied and in all fairness there was still time for the other man to do so after all Shoto had not yet been granted his own release.

“Felt so good Sho” she mumbled and Shoto instantly stiffened. She took his silence as permission to carry on. “He’s so big Shoto and felt so good inside me, stretching me open” Shoto groaned, head tipping back against the headboard. The filth dripping from her tongue reigniting the flames of desire that started to dwindle. “It felt even better knowing your eyes were on me. Watching Katsuki fuck me. And when he used his quirk, ummm, felt almost as good as when you use yours” as she had been speaking she shifted her head, Shoto’s hand slipping from her hair to cup the side of her face. She turned her head to the side, placing a gentle kiss to his palm, shifting her weight onto her hands, she kneeled half over him. She kept her eyes locked on his as she spoke once more, Shoto breathing heavier as her words sank into him.

“Love it when you use your quirk, burning so cold inside me. Always leaves me begging for more” as if it was answering her his quirk rippled to life on its own, his hand covering with ice. Groaning she turned her head into his hand more, her hot tongue licking across Shoto’s palm and up his fingers. Shoto let out his own groan as she sucked his ice covers fingers into her mouth, tongue curling around the digits. He could feel the ice melting as she licked and sucked at him, moaning around him. “Fuck” Shoto gasped, his hips bucking up as if her mouth was wrapped around it.

“You two better not be” Katsuki barked as he strode back into the room. Instantly y/n pulled back, letting Shoto’s fingers fall from between her lips. Groaning in annoyance Shoto slumber back, hand falling back to bed as he glared at Katsuki. The smug basted just smiled wider, laughing at Shoto’s annoyance. He chucked something onto the bed as he climbed back onto the bed, slotting between her legs once more and draping himself across her back. He placed one hand flat against the bed, his fingers covering hers and brushing slightly against Shoto’s side. The other wrapped around her shoulder to grasp her chin, turning her face towards him so he could kiss her, his tongue slipping between her lips. They separated fairly quickly, Katsuki liking at his lips. “Umm cold, someone’s been naughty” he mumbled nipping at her lip before pulling away slightly so he could whisper into her ear.

Shoto couldn’t make out what he was saying, just the gentle murmur of his voice. Her eyes widened slightly, eyes flickering down to Shoto’s dick then back to his eyes before she nodded her head. Katsuki placed a quick kiss on her check mumbling “good girl” before pulling away to sit back on his hunches. Shoto’s heart was pounding in his chest as she shifter her weight back onto her legs, delicate hands coming up to tug at the edges of his pants. Wordlessly Shoto lifted his hips so she could pull them down, his hard dick springing free and slapping him in the stomach. He tried to help as much as he could, pulling one leg up so they could be tugged off his foot and he could then kick it off his other foot. They settled back into the same position they had been in before, her hands either side of him on the bed, mouth hovering above his now exposed dick and his legs spread wide to accommodate her body between them. She smirked up at him, her pink tongue darting out to wet her lips. She winked at him then dove down, swallowing his length in one go.

Shoto cried out, back arching off the bed as she sucked him down. He couldn’t stop his hands from moving if he tried, one shooting up to grab at the hair on the back of her head and the other fisting in the sheets. She set a fast pace, sucking and licking at him, her head bobbed up and down. “Fuck” Shoto cried out, blunt nails scratching at her scalp. It was so hot and wet inside her mouth, her tongue rubbing along the underside as she pulled up. She stilled when only the head was still inside the warm heat, to warm. Groaning Shoto opened his eyes to look down at her, his chest heaving as he pulled in deep breaths. Once she had his attention she began to slowly sink back down, not stopping until her nose was pushed into his groin and his dick was hitting the back of his throat.

His hands were trembling, overcome with pleasure as she swallowed, her throat tightening around his shaft for a moment but it was enough to have him gasping out her name. In return she moaned around him, the vibrations causing his dick to twitch. Tears clung to the edges of her wide eyes as she breathed through her nose. Shoto wasn’t as big as Katsuki but he was well endowed none the less, his dick long and slightly curved, his size placed well above the average man and he knew that she must be struggling by now but he still found it hot to watch her struggle to breath around him, knowing she was willingly doing it just have him in her mouth.

Taking pity on her he gently tugged on her hair and she eased herself back, pulling in a deep breath before she took him straight back into his mouth. This time she worked him slower, sucking gently and licking from root to tip in an effort to draw his pleasure out. He grunted and panted, as the temperature in her mouth seemed to fluctuate, one moment it would be warm and tight as she swallowed him down only to be cool and lose when she eased of. It was only when the ice cold tip of her tongue rub against his slit that Shoto realised what was happening.

He gripped her hair tightly and he arched his hips up, forcing her to take more of him as she used his own quirk against him. He had experimented before when he was a teenager, curious to know how each of them had felt on his dick but never had he felt anything like this before. She had used his quirk before but only when they had been sparring, now he would never be able to look at her again without remembering this moment.

He let go of her hair suddenly, both his hands coming up to rub at his face and slid into his own hair. As she pulled back her mouth warmed, dragging a deep moan from between Shoto’s parted lips. His dick slipped from her mouth and he could have sworn she saw a glint of ice across her tongue before her mouth slammed shut, teeth digging into her bottom lips, eyes fluttering as she moaned and pushed her hips back.

It took Shoto’s lust fogged mind a second to remember that Katsuki was still their but as soon as he did his eyes darted down to where a tuff of ash blond hair poked up from between her legs. Shoto could only assume that he had his fingers and mouth back on her if the way she was fucking herself back was any indication, her mouth hanging open as she gasped. Without a second thought Shoto grabbed the back of her head once more and forced her head down, his sensitive prick catching slight on her teeth as he thrust back into her mouth. He wanted to feel her gasps and groans around him, wanted to muffle the sounds she made for Katsuki as he strove towards his own release.

She didn’t disappoint, enthusiastically bobbing her head up and down as she moaned around him, the temperature of her mouth fluxing randomly. He couldn’t decide where to look, his eyes darting from where he kept disappearing between her stretched lips and to the tuff of hair she kept fucking back against. For a second Shoto imagined what it would be like if Katsuki was in the same position before, hand grasping her hips as he fucked into her, every one of his forward thrusts forcing her forward and down on to Shoto’s dick. Crying out his hips stuttered forward, his organs so close but it was not meant to be.

Katsuki knocked his hand away from her head, his own grabbing a fist full and yanking her head off and away from Shoto. The other man cried out in frustration. He was so close just a few more minutes and he would finally been able to cum. He glared at the blond who was once again draped over her back, one hand cupping the side of her face and two fingers shoved into her mouth, forcing it open. He could see her tongue rubbing over them, probably licking her own juices off of them. Briefly Shoto hoped that her mouth was still cold enough to make Katsuki feel some discomfort but he knew she had probably warmed it the moment Shoto had been forced out of her mouth.

“Not yet candy cane, I have other plans for you” Katsuki winked at him, his deep voice causing Shoto to shiver. Other plans had so many possibilities attached to it, so many things that Katsuki could do to him, with him but at least now he knew he would be able to cum tonight. Eventually.

In one move Katsuki let go of her and wrapped his other hand around Shoto’s ankle, yanking him down the bed, until he was almost completely under the two. He was sure he must look like a deer in headlights, eyes wide in shock at the sudden action. He couldn’t see Katsuki now but damn well heard his chuckle. What he could see though was a long expanse of neck and an almost perfect circle of little indents. It was so close to his mouth. All he had to do was rise his head a little and he would be able to get his mouth over it. Be able to suck and kiss the mark before adding his own. He was just about to move when he heard the distinctive slap of flesh hitting flesh and she began to move above him.

She nudged at his legs, settling over him, his dick brushing against her wet core. Both of her hands were next to his head, her checks flushed red as she ground down on him. Instinctively his hands went to her hips, letting out his own groan as he caught on her most sensitive part and she slowly started to sink down onto him. His grip tightened, his nails digging in and adding to the bruises that were already there. Once she was sat snugly against him Shoto let out the breath he had been holding, cool breath fanning out across her cheek. She hummed gently, her head falling to snuggle into his neck, arms shifting so they slipped under his, her hands curling around his shoulders.

They stayed that way for a few moments, Shoto taking advantage of the reprieve. He need this to calm himself back down, so overwhelmed by the wet heat that he had been sure that if she had moved he would have cum on the spot. Sighing he turned his head into her neck, nuzzling against it and laying gentle kisses. She hummed her approval, placing her own gentle kiss against his shoulder.

“Aww ain’t you two just adorable” Katsuki’s mocking tone cut through the silence, following it up with a hard slap to her ass that had her moaning and jerking against Shoto. “You got room for one more baby?” Katsuki asked gently. Shoto was just about able to see him over the swell of y/n ass, see his hands rubbing small circles into it, thumbs pulling slightly at the cheeks. She hummed slightly against Shoto but nodded all the same. “Gonna have to use your words sweetheart” he punctuated his words with a quick slap to her ass, before gently rubbing over the abused flesh. She gasped loudly, nails digging into Shoto’s shoulder. “Yes!” She cries out before burying her head back into the crock of Shoto’s neck.

Shoto glared at Katsuki, confused as to what was about to happen. He couldn’t possibly be suggesting what Shoto thought he was. They wouldn’t both fit, would undoubtedly hurt her if he attempted to do so. Katsuki slapped her ass again as he moved forward, thumbs pulling her cheeks apart. She cried out against Shoto, hands gripping tight. Katsuki groaned, head tipping back as his hands tightened in her hips, keeping her still as he pushed forward. It was only as the space he was in started to get tight did Shoto realise what Katsuki was actually doing.

Shoto groaned as her pussy got tighter the deeper Katsuki got in her ass. Both of their hands were gripping her hips, fingers overlapping as they held her still. Eventually Katsuki stilled, all three of them breathing heavily. “Fuck your tight” Katsuki groaned and Shoto had to agree. He had never felt so snug and he could feel Katsuki pressing down on him.

It was all so filthy yet Shoto wanted more, wanted to feel her move against him whilst Katsuki fucked her back down against him. So into his own fantasy Shoto didn’t even realise he had bucked his hips up until the two people above both cried out, Katsuki’s hands grasping tightly at his. Shoto stilled, mumbling a gentle sorry against the neck pressed to his lips.

“Seems someone’s getting impatient” he could hear the smirk in Katsuki’s voice, knew the blond was probably looking down at them with a stupid smug smile on his face but Shoto didn’t care. Didn’t care if he was moaning like a whore and his face was flush. He was balancing on a knives edge and just need someone to move already. “Think we should put him out of his misery?” Shoto was the one to answer Katsuki, moaning out a desperate please before he could stop himself. Everything seemed to still, Shoto holding his breath as what he had just done registered.

Never had Shoto asked something from Katsuki, had never caved to beg the smug man for anything regardless of the situation. Yet here he was, about an hour in to what admittedly was turning out to be the best sex of his life begging the other man for his own release. He didn’t need Katsuki’s permission, could just hold on tight and start fucking up into the pliant body above him but he didn’t. Instead he found himself craving the other man’s commands, his deep voice telling him he could have his moment of bliss. Oh gods he would never live this down.

A gentle huff of laughter brushed against his neck. Slowly she pushed herself up so she was hovering above him. She was smiling down at him, her eyes dark. She looked like a predator about to devour its next meal. “Love it when you beg for it” she was so close that as she spoke her lips brushed against his, her tongue darting out to run across his lips.

Shoto lifted his head to seal their lips together but she moved out of his reach, still smiling down at him. “Say it again” the demand was clear and Shoto found himself begging once more, the desperate please tumbling from his lips. Groaning she dived for his lips, swallowing any more of his cries as she forced her tongue between his. At the same time she rolled her hips, both men groaning at the sensation.

They broke apart, Shoto panting for air, his hands shaking once more. “Fuck me” she demanded, rolling her hips once more. Shoto didn’t know who she had spoken the words to but they forced them into action. It was a little awkward at first but they soon found a rhythm. Every time she rolled her hips up Katsuki would pull back only to push back in and force her tight pussy back down Shoto’s length. All of them were panting and moaning, the odd curse word thrown in as she clenched down on them.

Shoto could feel his release building inside of him once more, his stomach knotting and filling with heat. “I...I’m close” he managed to get out following it with a groan as she sunk back down on him, her inner walls clenching tight around him. “Then cum” came Katsuki’s reply, his voice strained as he started to thrust harder. Shoto’s hands slipped from her hips to grasp at the top of her thighs, his fingers brushing against the swell of her ass and Katsuki’s thighs hitting against his hands.

It was all so overwhelming and Shoto couldn’t hold on any more. With a loud cry his eyes closed, his body going taught and nails digging in as his release finally washed over him. His hips jerking up as he emptied himself into the women above him. When he came down his whole body was tingling and his ears were ringing, his heart slamming against his chest. They were still moving above him, chasing their own orgasm now. His softening dick still inside her but she had stopped moving now, letting Katsuki take over and fuck into her as hard and fast as he wanted. Moving his hand from her ass he slid it round until he could press his cold fingers against her burning clit.

As soon as he touched her she cried out his name, her body shaking against him. Her head tipped forward just enough for him to kiss her neck, teeth nipping at the unmarked flesh she had offered him. Using the other arm to push himself up slightly, Shoto nipped at her ear before he whisper his own command to her. “Come for us”. She cried out throwing her head back and exposing her neck to him and Shoto latched on, sinking his teeth in deep as he worked his fingers harder against her. He knew the exact moment she climaxed. He could feel her squeezing down on his soft dick, her body tensing. “Fuck!” Katsuki cried out, stilling as he found his own release.

Slowly Shoto opened his mouth, mind full of the hiss she let out as he brushed gentle kisses along his own claim of ownership. Katsuki was the first to move, groaning as he pulled out before shuffling off the edge of the bed. As soon as he was gone she lifted her hips up, letting Shoto slip from within and collapsing to the side. She was breathing deeply, one arm slung over her eyes as she tried to relax. She was covers in bite marks and scratches, her hips and thighs littered with bruises and little crescent marks, a mix of his and Katsuki’s cum leaking out onto the inside of her thighs. She looked a mess, completely used and spent and she was beautiful.

“Fuck, you look wrecked” Shoto hadn’t even noticed Katsuki had left the room, startled to find him handing a damp cloth to him as he gently began to clean the compliant women sprawled across half the bed. Shoto took it with a mumbled thanks, making quick work for cleaning himself off. He hissed as he rubbed at his sensitive dick but his discomfort was nothing compared to what y/n was feeling. She would feel tonight for at least the next day or two. Their patrols would be interesting tomorrow because she wouldn’t be able to hide the matching bite marks on either side of her neck or the hitch in her step.

Shoto smiled as he dropped his own cloth onto the floor, making sure it landed on his abandoned pile of cloths. He moved to the side opening up space on the bed as he tried to get comfortable. As soon as he settled she was on him, snuggling up to his side. “You could at least have got under the covers” Katsuki chided as made his way over to the bed, the spare comforter bundled in his arms. Y/n mumbled something but it was too garbled to make out as she already started to fall asleep.

Katsuki threw the thick blanket over them before sliding in behind the already sleeping women. He turned on his side, slotting himself against her back and draped his arm over her side, his fingers brushing against Shoto’s stomach. Tonight had been filled with a lot of first, none of them bad but this was probably his favourite. Sighing he turned towards the other two slightly, his own arm coming up to drape over her side, his arm pressing against Katsuki’s.

He could get used to this. The three of them sleeping together, limbs overlapping and tangled together. Maybe in the morning he would suggest she move in and this become there normal everyday life. Shoto would be happy to live like that. Happy with the two people he loved most.

[elisaphoenix13]

What Makes A Mother?

Diana had a half day at school and Tony had meetings all day so Stephen refused to let him take Lucy with him. The boys and Cassie were at school so the sorcerer currently had all three girls with him. Stephen picked up Diana from school, promptly tossed her backpack through a portal, and then walked to the store nearby. Athena was, of course, with him, which was a big help to keep Valerie close and safe since his hands were currently full with his youngest daughter. Diana was old enough to know how to stay close in the busy streets of New York, and Valerie knew to hold on to the wolf or him.

Currently Diana and Valerie chose Athena while Stephen gave some of his attention to Lucy in an attempt to keep her warm. She was too small for a winter jacket, so he made sure she was safely bundled up with blankets in her stroller. Something even now he felt kind of ridiculous pushing around even after having to do so with Valerie, but times like these called for it. He didn't have the strength in his hands to carry her, and pushing the stroller was something he could barely do in these cold months. It's why he quickly herded his children to the store to get out of the biting cold for their sake and his.

His gloves only did so much even if Tony made them specifically for instances like this. They kept his hands warm and even dulled some of the chronic pain he had on a daily basis. When his husband presented the gloves to him and Stephen tried them on...he actually cried tears of relief. He was so used to the pain that he had learned to ignore it for the most part, and when he slipped the gloves on? Instant relief. It was almost overwhelming.

Now he wore them during the cold months or when he was having an especially bad day and no one could help massage his hands.

"How come we're here again?" Diana asks as she grabs a basket.

"I just need a few last minute things before Christmas." Stephen answers as he leads the girls further into the store.

She makes a face. "You said you got everything done."

The sorcerer chuckles. "I did. At least until your father drank the last of his coffee this morning and everyone suddenly remembered stuff they needed. Since I was coming for coffee, I offered to pick up whatever they needed."

"So Uncle Scott needs juice."

"Actually, Uncle Bucky needs toothpaste." Stephen chuckles again as they walk down the aisle with the coffee.

Lucy was comfortably asleep in the stroller, undisturbed by the buzz of noise around her since Target was busier than usual. People were out getting last minute gifts and stocking stuffers and probably even doing what Stephen was doing. If there was music playing, he could hardly hear it, but the baby was used to louder noises than this. In fact, sudden loud noises rarely woke her since she was constantly found in the lab with Tony. Stephen was convinced he was trying to make her into another grease monkey. As if Harley and Peter weren't enough. Valerie and William preferred quieter activities with Stephen, Diana didn't mind either but was normally found with Cassie anyway, and Thomas...well he was an active kind of person. He couldn't really sit still long enough to tinker or put together a jigsaw puzzle.

"I found Daddy's coffee!" Dia announces and grabs the coffee to put in the basket.

"I'm not going to even ask how you know." Stephen shakes his head.

He had a feeling Cassie had a lot to do with it in the later years before the snap was reversed. Well, then and now. Stephen supposed he took her shopping for coffee often enough that she learned what they got.

"Natasha and Sam need some too." He says and grabs their favorites to drop in the basket. "Can you carry that?"

"Uh-huh."

He could sense that magic had a hand in her ability to carry the basket as it got heavier, but as there was no visible proof, he didn't say anything. "We'll grab the toothpaste on the way back."

"Mama, juice?" Valerie asks quietly.

"Yes, we're getting juice as well." Stephen says softly.

For some reason after that, his stomach dropped and he suddenly felt on edge, and before he could wonder why, the woman at the other end of the aisle answered that question. She clicks her tongue in disapproval and Stephen looks over at her incredulously at her next words.

"There's something wrong with a child that calls a man her mother. Only women who have carried their child and gone through hours of painful labor to bring them into this world are deserving of that title." She says with pursed lips.

He had no idea why it bothered him so much. She certainly wasn't the first to make a comment, but maybe it was because she insinuated that one of his children had a problem. Maybe it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Whatever it was, it had him turning to face her fully instead of ignoring her and continuing his shopping.

"Excuse me?" He challenges and to his surprise, she takes the bait instead of cowering.

"Your little girl is wrong to call you her mother." The woman repeats. "You are not a woman and you didn't give birth to her."

If Stephen had fur, it would be standing on end right about now. He didn't, but Athena was well tuned to his emotions that she did it for him. She knew better than to growl but he could sense that she was ready to and held his hand out to the side to signal that it was unnecessary. Valerie was on the verge of tears and hiding against the wolf and Diana was giving the woman a sour glare.

"Who are you to say that my daughter is wrong?" Stephen snaps. "And who are you to determine what or who makes a mother?! What about the women out there that can't have their own children? Are they not mothers to the children they adopt and love? What about the women who carry a baby to term but give up their baby for adoption? Are they still a mother even though they went through the pain?"

The woman was getting a little miffed already. "You're a--"

"A man? Maybe I didn't carry and birth my girls but I'm still the reason they exist! Maybe they weren't brought into this world in the conventional way but I'm their mother because that is what my children chose to call me! That was started by a teenage boy by the way. I feed my kids. I nurture them. I care for them when they're sick or even hurt and there have been many times that I put myself in direct line of danger to keep them safe!" Stephen was fuming and the lady actually started to look sheepish and reprimanded. "A mother isn't determined by their ability to have children, but by their ability and willingness to raise a child. The same goes for fathers. If they abandon an expecting mother, they give up their title as father because they aren't there to help raise the child. They're just sperm donors." Stephen grits his teeth. "So maybe next time you'll think before you say anything so ignorant and negative again. But maybe even that will be too much for someone like you."

And with that, Stephen turned his attention back to the juice on the shelves and left the woman standing there properly admonished. He gently pet Valerie's hair to soothe her as Athena huffed in shared annoyance and Diana...well she seemed to be searching through her coat. Stephen didn't think anything of it until suddenly he saw her throw out her arm toward the woman and dark blue sparkles clouded his peripheral vision. When he turned his head to get a proper look, he had to keep himself from laughing at the shocked expression on the woman's face as glitter covered her and Diana looked up at the lady with another scowl.

"Maybe that will help make you prettier on the inside."

The woman stomps off in a huff and Diana brushes the remaining glitter off of her hands as Stephen looks down at her. The little girl looked mighty pleased with herself and Stephen wasn't going to reprimand her for the use of glitter this time. He did inconspicuously use his magic to clean up what had fallen on the floor though since he didn't wish glitter clean up on any poor soul that worked there. When that was finished, he knelt down to look at Valerie and smile.

"You did nothing wrong." He says softly and wipes away the remains of her tears.

"She was just a jealous and mean old lady." Diana pipes up.

"Am I bad?" Valerie asks quietly and the sorcerer shakes his head.

"Absolutely not. I don't think you have a mean bone in your body." He kisses the top of her head and pats Athena's as he stands back up. "Good girl." He praises quietly.

Even through that whole debacle when Stephen went as far as raising his voice, Lucy was sound asleep and remained so until they finished shopping and were in line to checkout. The woman was nowhere to be seen and Stephen wasn't too surprised after Diana gave her the glitter shower, but he also wasn't going to complain. He didn't want there to be a second confrontation in case she thought of a clever response to the new asshole he ripped her. Especially since Lucy would be fussing for food any moment.

That moment came the second they left the store with their purchases and Stephen portaled them home. He took her out of the stroller once they were fully in the penthouse and already had a bottle in her mouth that he had premade in the diaper bag. Diana helped carry some of the groceries toward the kitchen while Valerie followed Athena into the living room, and both Stephen and Diana froze when they found Harley and William already in the kitchen.

Kissing.

"When did this happen?" Stephen accidentally blurts out.

William instantly pulls himself away from Harley, turns a nice shade of red, and then seemingly pops out of existence, making Harley groan loudly. "Ugh! Mom!"

"Sorry." Stephen laughs. "He'll come back around. Come help with the groceries in the meantime."

"There was a mean lady there." Diana's face sours as she holds the bags up for her brother to take. "She said Mommy isn't a mommy."

Harley takes the bags and sets them on the counter before looking at Stephen with an irritated look. "Who? I'll go find her and give her a piece of my mind!"

"I already ripped into her." Stephen shakes his head. "Your sister ended it with a flourish of dark blue glitter she smuggled in her pockets."

"And I missed it?!" Harley sighs and separates everything to either be picked up or taken down to whoever requested it.

"Clearly you were having your own fun." Stephen responds dryly and Harley blushes.

Diana left to join her sister in the living room once everything was being handled and Stephen told Harley what transpired at the store. His look of irritation turned dark when the sorcerer told him exactly what she had said, but then visibly relaxed a little when he told him what his response was. After everything was put away, Harley walked over to Stephen and surprised the hell out of him when he threw his arms around him and hugged him tightly. Stephen stood there in shock for a few moments at the rare sign of affection from Harley, but he soon reciprocated the hug with one of his arms. Lucy squeaked from being a little smushed between them.

"You're the best mom. Better than so many out there. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise because anyone would be lucky to have you as their mom. I know we are. I am."

Stephen's heart twists pleasantly and he sighs softly. "...thank you Harley. I didn't realize how much I needed that confirmation."

"I'll literally go round everyone up and put together an emergency Mom Day." Harley says after pulling away and Stephen chuckles.

"That's unnecessary but thank you." He points to the remaining groceries on the counter. "You can deliver those for me though."

Harley grins and salutes him before grabbing everything and disappearing onto the elevator. Stephen then joins the two girls in the living room to sit on the couch and finish feeding Lucy her bottle and Valerie immediately climbs up next to him and curls into his side. He had no clue what had gotten into him at the store but he had no regrets. He had actually tasted sulphur in his mouth as he lectured the woman, and that was a sure sign that the dragon was trying to surface. That would have been overkill so he fought it down for the sole reason to not cost his husband millions of dollars for destroying Target. Tony probably wouldn't have minded if he knew what was said, but there was also the risk of not making it home because of exhaustion from shape shifting.

Valerie tugs on his sleeve and when he looks at her, she gives him her adorable pleading eyes. "Bear movie?"

Stephen chuckles and puts Lucy's bottle down to hold her up and burp her. "FRIDAY, turn on Brave please."

"Yes, Doctor." The tv turns on and Brave starts playing just as Lucy rewards him with a burp.

"How about some lunch?" Stephen asks as he gets up to place Lucy in her swing.

"Peanut butter and jelly!" Diana requests at the same time Valerie says, "juice!"

As Stephen walks back to the kitchen, a body attaches itself to his back and he sighs.

"Aren't you a little too old for this Spiderling?"

"Nope. Gotta make sure you feel loved and appreciated." Peter quips and keeps his hold.

"I'm sure we look ridiculous." The sorcerer says fondly.

"Probably. Can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich too?"

"Since you're clearly five today, why not?"

"Just don't use your magic to make it true."

Stephen smirks. "Well, it would make the piggyback ride easier."

"No, suffer." Peter huffs.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

tapestry 👑 X

Warnings: eventual dark elements (tags to be added as fic continues)

This is dark!(king)Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: King Steven had a wandering eye but you never thought it would fall upon you.

This Chapter: The court celebrates the last hunt.

Note: Okay, so I called in today because of my anxiety at the suggestion of my boytoy and he told me to sleep in a bit. He’s not a doctor, but he’s got a PhD (pretty huge dick) so I have to listen. But I got this chapter done last night so y’all still get your fix, lol.

Also, I have to thank you guys, I really can’t thank you enough. I am in love with this fic and truly in your discussion of it bc yall seem as invested as I am and I just love all the possibilities and how these characters are turning out and it’s all been so much fun. So please, enjoy and remember that I love you (but I will not leave my wife for you, sorry).

(also open to new moodboards for the fic or even playlists for inspo if anyone’s interested. memes always welcome.)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋 You guys rock!

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply! Love ya!

You were never one to stand out among a crowd. Were it not for the sling around your shoulder, that would still be true. You suspected, without the king's interest, that would be even more true. But despite your simply cut gown, you could sense the eyes as you entered the hall.

The trestles were set with scarlet cloth and silver plates. You followed the other unwed ladies to the table opposite the lower lords. The king would sit at the high table with several favoured lords and ladies and those of the council not among them would sit along the next. 

You were surprised to spot your father along that group of men, though he did not wear the pin that the other counselors wore. He nodded at you from across the room as he took his seat. You were stopped before you could go behind the trestle by a servant in royal colours. The other ladies glanced over but quickly hid their curiosity.

“My lady,” The servant said. “You are to take the place of honour at the high table.”

“Pardon?” You stepped aside to let Joan pass behind you. 

“The king has declared you the Maiden of the Forest. You must take your proper seat,” The servant insisted. “If you would follow me, my lady.”

“Um,” You glanced to the ladies as they sat along the bench then to the table where your father sat. His eyes narrowed at you as he listened to Lord Callum. “Certainly. As you will.”

You waited for the servant to lead you. You climbed the short steps up to the dais that held the king’s table. Diana and Mable sat with their husbands, Anthony and Samuel, and Lord Barnes stood next to an empty chair to the right of the king’s. The royal couple themselves were upon a short platform that held them another half foot above their guests. 

The servant gestured towards Barnes. “Just down there, lady.” He explained. “With Lord Barnes.”

“Thank you,” You nodded to the man and he quickly departed for his other chores.

As you walked along the table, behind chairs both occupied and not, you stared at the king’s chair. The thought of spending the feast next to him filled you with dread. A blur of movement caught your eye and you found Lord Barnes awaiting you with a smile as you drew nearer.

“My lady,” He took your hand and bowed to kiss your hand dramatically. “The venerable Maiden of the Forest.”

“You mock me,” You accused. “Though I should wonder how a man in such a smock could find the gull to do so.”

“Oh but any silk not dull as stone would seem gauche next to your attire, my lady,” He quipped. “As a second daughter, I am certain you expected a convent but you’ve escaped the habit of yet.”

“I thought you the king’s man, not his jester,” You returned. He politely shifted the chair back for you to sit. “Though perhaps a fool’s cap would suit you better.”

“As much as a bolder shade would bring out your complexion, my lady,” He remarked as you sat. “Do you truly seek to deter the king or is this truly what you consider fashionable?”

“This is what an earl’s daughter can afford,” You said sharply. 

“If only half this court was as self-aware as you, my lady,” He sat beside you, “Perhaps then it would not be so turbulent.”

“Oh, if only,” You agreed.

“The sling, however, does brighten the look,” He added. “How does your shoulder fair?”

“Tender but not so insufferable as my company.”

You looked across the room. Rose was not among the ladies. You hadn’t seen her since before the hunt and heard even less of her. ‘I will see that she is dealt with’, those were the words the king had spoke. The promise he’d made to you though you could not untangle his meaning.

“Oh my lady, I do remember the scene in your chambers,” He intoned. “I am not the worst you must suffer.”

He grinned as you looked to him. Your retort was curtailed by the sound of a horn. You stood at the announcement of the king’s arrival and all bowed as he entered. He wore a rich green brocade slitted with gold silk. The queen’s dress was a similar shade though she did not bear the same poise. Her sharp eyes scanned the hall and fell on you. She pushed her shoulders back and averted her gaze with detest.

Barnes shifted on his feet and peeked over at you out of the corner of his eye. You raised your brows and shook your head. He was not so unconcerned as he pretended to be. The king and queen made their entrance to the blaring of the horn and ascended the dais as their subjects waited and watched.

You kept your head forward as they passed behind you and the queen’s skirts brushed against the legs of your chair. “Snake.” She snarled under her breath for you to hear. You struggled not to flinch at the word and listened as her heels clicked up the step to her perch.

“You handle it better than most.” Barnes whispered as the royal couple sat and their guests followed suit.

“What else can I do but bite my tongue and keep my eyes forward?” You returned as he reached for the decanter and filled his goblet. 

“Wine?” He offered but did not await your answer before he poured it in your cup. “And let me say, I’ve seen a dozen or so women in your position and they often resort to boasting, arrogance even.”

“In my position? And you think--”

“Oh, I know of your modesty,” He assured you as he sipped and servants appeared with platters and began to set them out between silver plates. “Though such restraint is almost unknown at this court. I suspect that’s why the king has remained so persistent.”

You drank from your cup and glanced over at the king. You worried he would overhear. He was entirely distracted by Eleanor’s whispers though barely entertained. He scowled as his eyes swept the ceiling and he huffed in response.

“He has persisted before, has he not?” You kept your voice low.

“A month, maybe two, and only after he obtained his prize.” He paused as a platter was set between you. “You only expedited Rose’s downfall but you didn’t cause it.”

“Is that your expectation? A month, maybe two for me?” You wondered. “It is not that I do not expect the same treatment, only that I’d hope to avoid the same end.”

“I don’t know what to expect,” He shrugged as he speared a slice of venison from the platter. “For so long as I’ve known the king, I’ve not quite seen him as I did in your chamber.”

“Surely he must’ve promised the same to other ladies.” You took a smaller piece and scooped some roasted veggies upon your plate.

“Jewels and fancy baubles only,” He said. “Eleanor is a princess herself, even without the marriage. What he intends is not so easily done as said.”

“And you think he truly means to do it?” You hovered your fork above your plate as you stared at him. Despite the edge of his tongue, he proved to be the most honest at court.

“I think he means to have you,” He cut into his venison, “And there is little that can stop him once he has his mind set.”

You looked to your plate and pushed a piece of potato around the silver. Your stomach knotted as you pondered cutting your meat with one hand.

“My lady,” A whisper distracted you. You looked over as the king leaned down. “I should ask after your health.”

“I am well,” You assured him. “My arm does not bother me so much but I must avoid straining it further.”

“Well enough to dance?” He ventured as his eyes lit up. “Being the Maiden of the Forest, it would be expected you take up the boards.”

“A dance.” You assured him, “But not many more. I fear the sling would make me far more ungainly than I already am.”

“A dance, a smile, I relish in all that you allow me, my lady,” His eyes flicked down for just a moment. “And what of the gifts I have given you?”

Your eyes rounded for a moment before you recalled the opal necklace still hidden in your trunk. “Oh, your highness, how forgetful I am. It has all been so hectic I’ve not even the thought to wear it, though it is the finest piece I’ve ever owned.”

“I should like that you would,” He reproached. “As a marker of my love for you.”

You looked down and nodded. “I will have to remind myself,” You said quietly. “I do forget myself so often.”

“Oh, but lady, do not punish yourself,” He said softly. “For I bear you no anger, I only wish to see you well.”

“And I do thank you for your concern,” You looked up at him. “It means very much.”

“I think of nothing else,” He assured you, “No one else.”

He bowed his head and sat up. The queen’s eyes glared across the room as she ignored her husband’s conversation with you. You sat back and took another drink. Barnes was smiling as he swallowed his mouthful.

“While I admire your grace, I know you are rather adept at rancor. Perhaps you would be best to prove the same to him.” He mused. “Oh, it might solve many problems should you speak with more than a lamb’s tongue.”

“I am honest--”

“Oh but you coat it in honey,” He interjected. “Our king is wise. Should you bite him once, he might just leave you alone.”

“And should he choose to swat me down instead?”

“Despite what you’ve known of him, he is not entirely irrational,” He said coolly. “Perhaps he might realize his wife is not so vile after all.”

“Perhaps,” You mulled as you prodded a slice of carrot, “Or perhaps it is too late for even that.”

👑

The night wore on. Your shoulder ached; from the tension, from the stiff chair, from your general discomfort. The king would lean down to speak to you every now and then and as he did, all in the hall would notice. Though they tried to be subtle, you did not miss their intrusive eyes.

Lord Barnes did not hide his awareness either. At times, he'd lean back and speak to the king around you. The queen's malice radiated from the other side of the king but she would not acknowledge her husband's obvious disregard.

When the meal came to an end, the horn sounded once more and the platters were cleared. Several courses had left guests joyous and half-drunk.

The king stood before the band could begin to pluck. He held a hand up as he waited for silence. His subjects hushed their chatter and looked to him. He smiled back, a beacon of kingly grace.

"And so we close another season. This marks the beginning of winter and the end of our most bountiful season." His voice carried easily across the hall. "As is tradition we must crown our Maiden of the Forest."

You gulped and looked to Barnes. He smirked at the king's words and scoffed. He leaned back and watched nonchalantly as Steven continued. A servant appeared at the wave of his hand.

"If you would, my lady," He nodded to you as he took a circlet of vines and petals from the servant.

You rose stiffly. He offered his free hand and you took it as he guided you up beside him. The queen kept her head high and you peered out across the hall. Your father was turned around in his chair watching proudly. The servant helped remove your cap.

"In the name of the hunt, I name you our Maiden of the Forest." The king announced as he placed the crown of flowers upon your head. "May you reign this night with grace and joy."

"Thank you, your highness, " Your voice was brittle as your head swayed.

"And to close the old season and open the new, let us dance." He declared. "Maiden, would you grant me your first dance?"

You nodded. At first, your throat was too tight to speak. The queen's hand was balled in a fist upon the table. "Yes, your highness," You managed, "If you can forgive my shortfalls, it is yours."

"Then let us dance!" He boomed.

For a moment, no one moved and then all at once, the band picked up and the nobles began to rise from the tables. They filtered out to the floor as the king led you behind the chairs and from the dais. Barnes did not rise and poured himself another cup.

The king pressed his palm to yours as you came to face each other. You felt awkward and unbalanced with your other arm in its sling. As he moved his feet, you shuffled around him. You hadn't thought your dancing could get worse.

"My lady, I am glad to see you well." He cooed. "I admit I was restless with worry for you."

"Your highness." You said curtly and looked around at the other dancers.

He was silent for a moment as you followed the music.

"Have I wronged you, my lady?" He asked.

"Have you? Oh, how can you not see what you do to me? This court reviles me due to your humiliation of the queen. Your declarations that would allude to adultery."

"My lady, I only mean to honour you and your virtue--"

"What you mean and what you have done are not the same. You would crown me with your wife at your side. You would overlook her for me. You would sully my virtue as you claim to protect it." You glanced over at Barnes as he remained at the table. He looked into his cup as he sloshed it around. "And I have treated you with nothing by reverence and yet you persist."

"I have promised you anon that the woman who claims herself as my wife is none such." He hissed. "But I must gather my evidence before I can make it known. Before I can right what is wrong."

"You promise me what you cannot give. You would rob me of my future for your present desire. Your highness, I cannot hold my tongue further and tolerate you as you are so blatant in your disregard." You pulled away from him. A little bite to warn him; to scare him away. "Your majesty I must return to my former chambers and return to you your gift accepted only under duress for I cannot demean myself for you any longer. Not so long as you sit in sin."

He reeled as if you had struck him. You stepped away as he stared at you, his nostrils flared as his eyes searched you. He lingered between fury and despair.

"My lady, you do mistreat me."

"The truth is not always painless, your highness," You said sternly. "And I do not wish to remain the victim of rumour." You lowered your hand. "It cannot be… good night, your highness. "

You bowed and spun on your heel so quickly you nearly slipped. You lifted your skirts to scurry between the bodies. Your flesh was afire as you fled into the corridor.

You took a breath and continued along the stone floor. You heard the door and looked back to the shadow that followed you. The king found you through the flicker of lanterns and turned to trail you. You rounded the corner as you picked up your feet. 

"My lady," He called after you as his boots echoed on the stone. "Please, do not run from me."

You moved as quickly as you could, the motion jolted your shoulder painfully. He was close as you reached the next corner and he caught your hand before you could evade him. He drew you to face him as he looked down at you.

"Why do you spurn me? Why do you accuse me of spite when all I've shown you is kindness?" He pleaded. His grip slid to your wrist and he squeezed. "Why do you delay me if you do not yearn for what I promise you?"

"You're hurting me," You gasped as his hold grew firmer. "Your highness."

"I give and I give and I give," He stepped closer until you were against the wall. "And you withhold yourself from me."

"You scare me," You breathed.  

"I promise you a union, a crown, and all you could desire and yet you reprimand me and let me suffer so," He was against you. He pressed his body to yours and you felt a hardness beneath his belt.

"And I have not pushed you. I have not violated you. I have waited." He ground his pelvis into you as he crushed your injured arm. "I have not taken you as I have dreamt. I have not come into your chambers as you sleep and taken what I desire." 

He let go of your wrist and grabbed your chin. He forced you to look at him. "Because, my lady, I have decided that I will have you. Not just as my mistress, but as my wife, my queen. Because I don't just want that treasure you hide beneath those skirts," He bent so that his breath was upon your face."I want everything you have because you would deny me of the one thing I asked. "

You gaped up at him and trembled. You winced as his weight pushed on your sore shoulder. He leaned in until his nose touched yours.

"And though, at this moment, I could gather your skirts and take you against this wall, I will not," He pushed his hips harder against you. "Because when I do take you, I will be certain that you shall never elude me again." 

He pressed his lips to yours as he held your jaw in place. You struggled as he seemed like to devour you. You were trapped against the stone; terrified and helpless. He pulled away slowly and rubbed along your cheek with his thumb. 

"My lady, remember my benevolence for my restraint frays." He growled. "Though in the end, my desire will not."

[pear-pies]

音像世界 [Audiovisual World] - Sept 2006

a very wonky but delightful translation under the cut

Placebo ; We are the 21st century modern rock band                        Text/Interview with Zhang Weiwei/Xingyue 

On the first day of "2006 Beijing Pop Music Festival", "Placebo" Perform on the main stage of the company. "Placebo" is hailed as "the most Record the distinctive British music yin", this is their first time on the Chinese stage. Long talk will undoubtedly be a feast for listening to you. Mission to the last century In 1996, one named Brian Moco )lkO) boy,’ painted Seven eyes Liangying, leaving pitch black  Childish behavior:  ‘The violent red color I'm learning girls like a demon Sing a song "Nancy Kid" When I vent without hesitation Stupid material life and The emotion brought by the ft world. From the moment on stage, cloth Who is the backlog in my heart Thrown in front of the world, lead Shoulder, reputation, obsession and even People band one by one "placebo" Horribly turned out, "(Radiohead)s" "'Oasis" (Oasis) Three The altar adds a stunning                                                             Household Don't one by one Lane was born into a wealthy Bank entrepreneur, mother Christianity. Childhood, Tossed in Scotland, Libby Between Schlossburg. Serious  , And moved countless times Dogs have no fixed partners in childhood Jidu is lonely, even learning

The classmates and teachers in the school are also particularly alienated, plus , My parents ignored because of busy banking  , The physical and psychological growth of his son, Bryan from 11 I have been learning from the streets, newspapers and magazines since I was Factory women give themselves makeup and always like to surround  Women go round and round.     When he was 16 years old, his parents gave him a copy  Telecaster guitar, very sensitive to music  Brian soon bought a real price  A real guitar, and I've been obsessed with playing guitar ever since,  So that everyone can often see it on stage  Brian gently hugged the guitar one by one  He plays the role of a mother in his life  Important role. But in fact, Bryan’s parents  Straightforwardly oppose him to engage in art-father-  I want to let Brian inherit his career and become a  Bankers one by one Blaine began to use gender boundaries  Vaguely neutral dress to resist father and family  Against pressure. Until the end, Brian and his father  There is no longer any contact or exchange. In 1990, 18-year-old Brian left the family.  Came to London alone and entered Gold  Smiths Academy of Art and Drama Studies (British  The prestigious Royal Academy of Art, "Blur"  Former guitarist Graham Coxon  Coxon) also graduated from the college J. Cloth at this time  Ryan has been able to skillfully play a variety of instruments such as Ji  Him, keyboard, bass, drums, saxophone, and even DJing,  He also worked as a DJ in several clubs, but he was honest  Say that I am not very good at being a DJ0    By chance in 1994, Brian Kensington subway station encountered a later career ride   Stefan Olsdal,}     Invite him to form a band with himself and join in one,   Club performance. Osdo listened to Brian   Immediately after the song was attracted, not only that, he   , Put his Swedish friend Robert Schutz   (Robert Schultzberg) pulls into the music    Be a drummer (until 1996). Until later   , Bryan also emphasized that Osdo accepted his The moment I invited to the band was my whole life E one of the unforgettable moments. During this period, Bligh En called the band "Ashtray Heart" (Ashtray Heart) Heart)0   After quickly gaining awareness, they The band was renamed "placebo". Soon, Caroline Records has recognized this and A different young band.   In 1996, Robert Schutzberger The conflict with Brian increased and left the band, from Therefore, the position of the drummer has always been Steve Huey 特 (Steve Hewitt) instead. In the same year, the band The first album of the same name "Placebo" (Placebo) released Row. Singles "Nancy Kid" and "Young Rage" (Teertage Angst) immediately became a hit single, The stubborn and rebellious children of the entire Yao British Empire Was boosted by this three-person band, "placebo" It seems that they have been able to relieve their psychological barriers A great pill for manic heart. Just as Brian is different from   Ordinary costumes-mascara, eyeshadow, full lips, ～ Nail polish, skirts, this series will only show up The characteristics of a woman’s body are now affected by a height,The British man who is less than 1.75 meters boldly and naturally used to dress himself up. The British media took advantage of the trend and gave him the title of "fashionable Bowie". "Media reporters like to make boo heads. Maybe it's because life in the UK has always been so dull and boring. That's why they were surprised when they met me and yelled. I like "Sonic Youth" and "Sonic Youth". "Pixies", I prefer to dress myself up as I want to appear on the stage, in the MV and even in life. I just enjoy such an open-self lifestyle." Brian shrugged and said softly. In a tedious and lengthy interview after a TV show performance, Brian deliberately pointed the guard ｝l to the male reporter’s chest, so that the reporter was tossed by the sly Brian that he had no intention of continuing the interview. Go on, while Hewitt and Stephen are laughing together. After the album of the same name was released, the band easily got the mainstream record company Virgin In November 1998, he quickly recorded and released the second album "No "Without You I'm Nothing". This album has a rare change in the depth of the lyrics and Brian’s vocals compared to the first album. Brian in "Pure Morning" lowered his throat and reluctantly sang "Send charcoal in the snow." "A Friend in Need A Friend Indeed" (A Friend in Need A Friend Indeed). A famous sentence like household. Bryan, dressed in black, jumped out of the building and walked straight down the wall. The MV for this song was also planned by Bryan. A keen listener can find from this Xin album that the alcohol, drugs, and erosive relationships in "Nancy Kid" have changed to the mixed emotions and emotions toward urban men and women in "Every You Every Me".

The rhetoric of the low-level media is more intense. Every large-scale live performance, "placebo" In order to pursue the perfect sound effect comparable to the recording studio, Always bring fixed musicians with them Stage performance, and these fixed musicians also accompanied Placement has gone through a worthy 10 years. Although But on the stage they always hide without light In the dark, but they are the same as the "placebo" three The relationship between the members is like a formal team member. Observant Fans will also find that "Velvet Gold Mine" These regular musicians also participated. And "Ann Placement" "Believe in Me" held in Paris (Soulmates Never Die) large concert now The DVD and MV compilation are everybody’s Placement" a precious treasure that loyal fans must collect, The Paris concert not only included the "placebo" essence Cham’s hot live performance also hides a 30 Minute tour documentary, including how the three escaped Avoid the chase of fans and talk about the fun in the lounge Bryan teaches you how to draw eyeshadow and sightseeing Precious fragments of time crazy Stefan. "Placebo" will play an electrified style The ultimate is the new album released this year Meds; compile the album cover with "Sleep with the Elves"

It’s exactly the same, it seems to come from the same designer              hand. As Brian said, in the past 10 years he’              We work hard to find a position and style that suits us,              Looking for an invisible limit. Bryan and Le              The team has been trying to get out of this restriction, out of them              Have experienced, followed, intoxicated, avoided              A sensitive area that has been and moved by. Although cloth              Leith now has a child named Cody              Zihe ~ a touching wife who maintains a stable relationship with him              One by one wife, son, and teammates are all Bligh              En is deeply loved one by one, but Brian is uneasy in his blood              The molecules make him feel full of emotion and sensitive heart              The world has never changed. Now the "placebo" starts              Putting aside some long-standing conventions, in the new album              Significantly reduced the iconic guitar distortion, the band              Focus boldly with a more fashionable electrified style              With drugs, alcohol, and love, it’s like a giant record jacket              The naked, twisted, and shouting woman, "Ann              The placebo" bravely broke free from the past              System", more calmly standing in the British rock music              front.The growth of the Bone Association Band? I am very happy with the growth of the band. Our growth and success are all through long-term hardship...Shan:1 Linde. It’s been an almost uninterrupted tour for 10 years. This is a relatively old-fashioned way of running Cantonese. "(The tail is also what we like very much. The live performance of the mountain and the constant currency" requires that you can get yourself in it. In the early days of the band’s establishment, we had already decided to deliver the music to our listeners in the most direct way. What do you think of the development of Yaoi’i Gun Music? "Lonz Ferdinand" (1,s,i Pordinand), "Arctic Monkeys" (Arctic Monkeys). "The Kooki"; do you think they really have "material"? Just because they are from the same island does not mean they are anointing Le Buya! What is in common. Of course "Franz Ferdinand" and "Arctic Monkey" must be influenced by the music of IJ Moji {Fei, in my heart! Bu! . He is a very good band in J1IJ4 II. Especially the L tail, "Arctic Monkey r", their "material" lies in the quality of their Shule creations. They are very humorous, full of the strong vitality of the factory, modern city, and very British creative style. What they are telling Very interesting, but also very "human", very    A true story is a very realistic expression Present form. I think if the "street boy" (The Streets) is a rock band, they          '   It will be the "Arctic Monkey". I personally have always been very happy   Happy "Franz Ferdinand", from their first    An album begins. They are from Scotland and also   It brings another kind of cultural experience.      What I want to say is that although there are so many    Success bands are all from the UK, but they don’t    Not necessarily have something in common, nor is it necessarily    It means that rock music in the UK will be more    Good or worse. Good is good, bad is good    Is bad, there is no need to divide by region   Standards.      What kind of concept do you hold on creation?      We are a rock band, just like I    We are a modern rock music    team. We enjoy using various tools and equipment    The possibility of creating music. Rock music is not only    It’s a simple guitar with electronic elements    Not only can be used in a certain kind of special music    In the category. The key to its function depends on you    How to use it and how to integrate it better   In your own music category.     Was the grunge trend in the U.S.    Has any influence on you or a British band? You like   Is Grunge Fun?     I never really liked it   Grunge, I have never heard of "Nirvana" (Nirvana)    Music until Kurt Coben (Kurt Cobain) passed away. For me, "nirvana"     Too mainstream T0 I am more interested in those very Alternative bands, like "Sonic Youth" (Sonic Youth), or the late 70s, 80s   Post-punk band in the early years.      What do you think of as a British band   American culture?      We ourselves think that "placebo" is a    European bands. Of course we were founded in London.    Half of my blood is Scottish, history of drummer   The name "Friend (Steve Hewitt) is of British descent,   Stefan Olsdal is a Swedish. We   Speaks many languages, Stephen speaks 5 languages,    I speak French and English. We grew up in Europe  There are K people from the I1 family in Zhou, we see ourselves as Europeans,    I don’t think I have any special UK   Pity. We can, will historically and geographically    The music of the country and the era is biased. Ok    Meeting the music and blood should be interpreted, and it is truly   I found it at Ill lii.} I don’t care if the music comes from Which country, as long as it can move people. but I I want to say: "I'm very happy that I will be in Europe Life".   Countless tours and publicity all over the world make people Enjoy it?   I enjoy the tour, but not the publicity. But it is equally important. In the past 10 years, We have been through live performances all over the world Accumulated a group of very loyal and sincere fans. Every year, the number of our fans grows very much View. Although it takes a lot of time to do this, it also gives me We added a lot of fun.   You know there are many "placebos" in China Fans? They are very obsessed with "placebo" The violent distortion guitar and your charming voice, even Even when playing the piano is hot, many fans want to know the invitation, What do you think of your fans.   Ah, haha, of course I hope so. "I must wait until Ij comes to Beijing in September to learn about Chinese musicWhat a fan is like, I look forward to it very much.   It’s not just heterosexual people. Placement", many gays also like you We, what do you think is the reason that makes "Ann Does "Placement" attract different fascinating groups?   Great! I think this is great! I think For our honesty in emotions and the truth in life Desire to communicate, um, if our music can move people, it must be physically,There are three aspects, both mentally and emotionally.    You are now a father What kind of impact? The kind of perplexed and perverted Dong Is Xijijing completely far away from you?   Honestly, no. As for myself Those who are confused and perverse, maybe less A little bit. But now there is another person Let me care, need my protection, so that it will not be this Hurt by a huge bad world.   You have always loved to dress up, you still Do you love applying black nail polish to yourself?   I have not bought black nail polish for many years Yes, but I still paint eyeliner and eye shadow. I do Did not try to do anything special through these performances Communication, in addition to thinking that people should dress up, Freedom in dress, choice and preference, not affected by Constrained by any established standard. If hard If any message is conveyed, it is freedom. But I do this entirely because I like it, I think I look great like that, like a The mentality of a lady with makeup.  How do you think a man should make his evening watch more cultured and tasteful? I think in the 21st century, men should be free, Wear what they like and dress up like they like Huan look. In comparison, women are more They can wear skirts or they can wear Pants, they can make up or not, They can look bright and beautiful, or they can watch Go up and take control. In the 20th century, men’s The choice has become so small. Looking back, Louis France in the fourteenth period, and the restoration period In Great Britain, men used to love makeup that much, Their clothes are so gorgeous and they look so good elegant. So we just trace the roots in history.  The media will use it when evaluating "placebo" Keep your eyes on such things as "male and female", "gorgeous", ) If you have to symbolize, how can you give yourself Has it been defined and classified?  A modern rock band. A 21 The modern rock band of the century. Let me show you and all Some magazine readers confirmed that "placebo" is not Hermaphrodite, the "placebo" members are all men, Everyone is.

In addition to work, the three of you often Play together? The three of us spend time together Family and love have more time. So when we After we got home, we gave all the time Family material lover, ha ha. Can you chat online? No, it never happened. I know net Some people on the network will call themselves Brian Mok, Husband ,,’’No~1 million That would definitely not be me. If you are online I met someone like that and I visited Brian Mo But my blog or Myspace, I read my Diary, you have to believe that it is definitely a lie. I Will not publish their life information on the Internet, I am a privacy-conscious person. What's the story of the performance in China this time ? What are your expectations for the Chinese record market What? Just like going to Thailand and Korea, through hosting Party’s invitation, we’ll come and we know people We like our music, so we can play for them We are also very happy to play. As for the record market, I Really have no idea. I just look forward to acting I hope to bring an outstanding performance. Please describe you in one word or sentence " 3 people. Just one sentence. Have you seen "Starship Fans Is this TV show "Star Trek"? Oh, your country may not broadcast it. Stephen It's "Mr. Spock" (Mr. Spock) It’s ‘Dr. McCoy’ and I’m "K Captain Kirk" (Captain Kirk)

[swirlingdisobedience]

Feminism and its waves

1st Wave

The first wave of feminism took place in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, emerging out of an environment of urban industrialism and liberal, socialist politics. The goal of this wave was to open up opportunities for women, with a focus on suffrage. The wave formally began at the Seneca Falls Convention in 1848 when three hundred men and women rallied to the cause of equality for women. Elizabeth Cady Stanton (d.1902) drafted the Seneca Falls Declaration outlining the new movement's ideology and political strategies.

In its early stages, feminism was interrelated with the temperance and abolitionist movements and gave voice to now-famous activists like the African-American Sojourner Truth (d. 1883), who demanded: "Ain't I a woman?" Victorian America saw women acting in very "un-ladylike" ways (public speaking, demonstrating, stints in jail), which challenged the "cult of domesticity." Discussions about the vote and women's participation in politics led to an examination of the differences between men and women as they were then viewed. Some claimed that women were morally superior to men, and so their presence in the civic sphere would improve public behavior and the political process. (https://www.pacificu.edu/magazine/four-waves-feminism)

2nd Wave

The second wave began in the 1960s and continued into the 90s. This wave unfolded in the context of the anti-war and civil rights movements and the growing self-consciousness of a variety of minority groups around the world. The New Left was on the rise, and the voice of the second wave was increasingly radical. In this phase, sexuality and reproductive rights were dominant issues, and much of the movement's energy was focused on passing the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution guaranteeing social equality regardless of sex.

This phase began with protests against the Miss America pageant in Atlantic City in 1968 and 1969. Feminists parodied what they held to be a degrading "cattle parade" that reduced women to objects of beauty dominated by a patriarchy that sought to keep them in the home or in dull, low-paying jobs. The radical New York group called the Redstockings staged a counter pageant in which they crowned a sheep as Miss America and threw "oppressive" feminine artifacts such as bras, girdles, high-heels, makeup and false eyelashes into the trashcan.

Because the second wave of feminism found voice amid so many other social movements, it was easily marginalized and viewed as less pressing than, for example, Black Power or efforts to end the war in Vietnam. Feminists reacted by forming women-only organizations (such as NOW) and "consciousness raising" groups. In publications like "The BITCH Manifesto" and "Sisterhood is Powerful," feminists advocated for their place in the sun. The second wave was increasingly theoretical, based on a fusion of neo-Marxism and psycho-analytical theory, and began to associate the subjugation of women with broader critiques of patriarchy, capitalism, normative heterosexuality, and the woman's role as wife and mother. Sex and gender were differentiated—the former being biological, and the later a social construct that varies culture-to-culture and over time.

Whereas the first wave of feminism was generally propelled by middle class, Western, cisgender, white women, the second phase drew in women of color and developing nations, seeking sisterhood and solidarity, claiming "Women's struggle is class struggle." Feminists spoke of women as a social class and coined phrases such as "the personal is political" and "identity politics" in an effort to demonstrate that race, class, and gender oppression are all related. They initiated a concentrated effort to rid society top-to-bottom of sexism, from children's cartoons to the highest levels of government. 

One of the strains of this complex and diverse "wave" was the development of women-only spaces and the notion that women working together create a special dynamic that is not possible in mixed-groups, which would ultimately work for the betterment of the entire planet. Women, due whether to their long "subjugation" or to their biology, were thought by some to be more humane, collaborative, inclusive, peaceful, nurturing, democratic, and holistic in their approach to problem solving than men. The term eco-feminism was coined to capture the sense that because of their biological connection to earth and lunar cycles, women were natural advocates of environmentalism.(https://www.pacificu.edu/magazine/four-waves-feminism)

Critique to the 2nd wave: Some black and/or working class and poor women felt alienated by the main planks of the second-wave feminist movement, which largely advocated women's right to work outside the home and expansion of reproductive rights. Women of color and poor white women in the US had been working outside of the home in blue-collar and service jobs for generations. Additionally, Angela Davis wrote that while Afro-American women and white women were subjected to multiple unwilled pregnancies and had to clandestinely abort, Afro-American women were also suffering from compulsory sterilization programs that were not widely included in dialogue about reproductive justice.Beginning in the late 20th century, numerous feminist scholars such as Audre Lorde[118] and Winona LaDuke[119] critiqued the second wave in the United States as reducing feminist activity into a homogenized and whitewashed chronology of feminist history that ignores the voices and contributions of many women of color, working-class women, and LGBT women.[120][121]The second-wave feminist movement in the United States has been criticized for failing to acknowledge the struggles of women of color, and their voices were often silenced or ignored by white feminists.[122][120] It has been suggested that the dominant historical narratives of the feminist movement focuses on white, East Coast, and predominantly middle-class women and women's consciousness-raising groups, excluding the experiences and contributions of lesbians, women of color, and working-class and lower-class women.[43]Chela Sandoval called the dominant narratives of the women's liberation movement "hegemonic feminism" because it essentializes the feminist historiography to an exclusive population of women, which assumes that all women experience the same oppressions as the white, East Coast, and predominantly middle-class women.[123] This restricting view purportedly ignored the oppressions women face determined by their race, class, and sexuality, and gave rise to women-of-color feminisms that separated from the women's liberation movement, such as Black feminism, Africana womanism, and the Hijas de Cuauhtémoc that emerged at California State University, Long Beach, which was founded by Anna Nieto-Gómez, due to the Chicano Movement's sexism.[124][125][126]Kimberlé Crenshaw coined the term "intersectionality" in 1989 in response to the white, middle-class views that dominated second-wave feminism. Intersectionality describes the way systems of oppression (i.e. sexism, racism) have multiplicative, not additive, effects, on those who are multiply marginalized. It has become a core tenet of third-wave feminism.[127] (wikipedia)

Black Feminism

Black feminism holds that the experience of Black women gives rise to a particular understanding of their position in relation to sexism, class oppression, and racism.[1][2] The experience of being a Black woman, it maintains, cannot be grasped in terms of being Black or of being a woman but must be elucidated via intersectionality,[3] a term coined by legal scholar Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989. Crenshaw argued that each concept—being Black and being female—should be considered independently while understanding that intersecting identities deepen and reinforce one anothe

3rd WAVE

The third wave of feminism began in the mid-90's and was informed by post-colonial and post-modern thinking. In this phase many constructs were destabilized, including the notions of "universal womanhood," body, gender, sexuality and heteronormativity. An aspect of third wave feminism that mystified the mothers of the earlier feminist movement was the readoption by young feminists of the very lip-stick, high-heels, and cleavage proudly exposed by low cut necklines that the first two phases of the movement identified with male oppression. Pinkfloor expressed this new position when she said that it's possible to have a push-up bra and a brain at the same time.

The "grrls" of the third wave stepped onto the stage as strong and empowered, eschewing victimization and defining feminine beauty for themselves as subjects, not as objects of a sexist patriarchy. They developed a rhetoric of mimicry, which appropriated derogatory terms like "slut" and "bitch" in order to subvert sexist culture and deprive it of verbal weapons. The web is an important tool of "girlie feminism." E-zines have provided "cybergrrls" and "netgrrls" another kind of women-only space. At the same time — rife with the irony of third-wave feminism because cyberspace is disembodied — it permits all users the opportunity to cross gender boundaries, and so the very notion of gender has been unbalanced in a way that encourages experimentation and creative thought.

This is in keeping with the third wave's celebration of ambiguity and refusal to think in terms of "us-them." Most third-wavers refuse to identify as "feminists" and reject the word that they find limiting and exclusionary. Grrl-feminism tends to be global, multi-cultural, and it shuns simple answers or artificial categories of identity, gender, and sexuality. Its transversal politics means that differences such as those of ethnicity, class, sexual orientation, etc. are celebrated and recognized as dynamic, situational, and provisional. Reality is conceived not so much in terms of fixed structures and power relations, but in terms of performance within contingencies. Third wave feminism breaks boundaries.

(https://www.pacificu.edu/magazine/four-waves-feminism)

4th WAVE - 

The Guardian- 

Welcome to the fourth wave of feminism. This movement follows the first-wave campaign for votes for women, which reached its height 100 years ago, the second wave women's liberation movement that blazed through the 1970s and 80s, and the third wave declared by Rebecca Walker, Alice Walker's daughter, and others, in the early 1990s. That shift from second to third wave took many important forms, but often felt broadly generational, with women defining their work as distinct from their mothers'. What's happening now feels like something new again. It's defined by technology: tools that are allowing women to build a strong, popular, reactive movement online. 

The majority of activists I speak to define themselves as intersectional feminists – or say they try to live up to this decription – and when I mention this to Kimberlé Crenshaw, the US law professor who coined the term intersectionality in 1989, she's genuinely surprised. The theory concerns the way multiple oppressions intersect, and although, as Crenshaw says, it can be interpreted in a wild variety of ways, today's feminists generally seem to see it as an attempt to elevate and make space for the voices and issues of those who are marginalised, and a framework for recognising how class, race, age, ability, sexuality, gender and other issues combine to affect women's experience of discrimination. Younis considers intersectionality the overriding principle for today's feminists, and Ali says she constantly tries to check her privilege, to recognise how hierarchies of power are constructed.

(https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/dec/10/fourth-wave-feminism-rebel-women)

Britannica - 

Although debated by some, many claim that a fourth wave of feminism began about 2012, with a focus on sexual harassment, body shaming, and rape culture, among other issues. A key component was the use of social media to highlight and address these concerns. The new wave arose amid a number of high-profile incidents. In December 2012 a young woman was brutally gang-raped in India and subsequently died, sparking local protests and international outrage. That was followed two years later by the Gamergate campaign, a manifestation of the so-called “men’s rights movement” that had its origins on the Web site 4chan. GamerGate ostensibly sought to promote ethics in video-game journalism, but it was in reality a harassment campaign against “social justice warriors.” The latter were often women who objected to female stereotypes in video games and were subsequently inundated with death threats and rape threats.

Against this background came Donald Trump’s defeat of Hillary Clinton in the U.S. presidential election in 2016. Trump had made a number of inflammatory remarks about women, and the day after the election a grandmother went on Facebook to propose a march on Washington, D.C. The suggestion quickly gained traction and became a call for social change, especially in regard to gender equality. Known as the Women’s March, it grew to include demonstrations across the United States and around the world. The protests took place on January 21, 2017, the day after Trump’s inauguration, and as many as 4.6 million people attended the various events in the United States, making the Women’s March perhaps the largest single-day demonstration in that country’s history.

Arguably even more significant was the Me Too movement, which was launched in 2006 in the United States to assist survivors of sexual violence, especially females of colour. The campaign gained widespread attention beginning in 2017, after it was revealed that film mogul Harvey Weinstein had for years sexually harassed and assaulted women in the industry with impunity. Victims of sexual harassment or assault around the world—and of all ethnicities—began sharing their experiences on social media, using the hashtag #MeToo. The movement grew over the coming months to bring condemnation to dozens of powerful men in politics, business, entertainment, and the news media.

[teenitinygod]

Hello, Hello, this is the person who did the last submit. Thank you for the offer but I don’t have a discord account, Idon'thaveanyfriendswhouseittowarrantmakingone.

Although, if you liked my previous submit, I thought you might be interested in hearing me out when it comes to mischaracterization since I didn’t go into detail in my previous submit since that’s a whole rant of its own. I’ll be taking inspiration from neutinya’s haikyuu mischaracterization post but give it a BSD twist. My intention isn’t to call specific people out, I’m simply going off what I’ve seen within the fandom. Which in turn leads to diluting or mischaracterizing a character until they’re nearly unrecognizable or portraying them in a bad light that they don’t deserve. There may be a few tw instances, so you’re free to edit this post as you see fit and add any necessary warnings.

So to begin with. Let’s get the big one out of the way real quick.

- Dazai -

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen Dazai being portrayed as nothing more than a twofaced lying bastard, I wouldn’t have to work anymore. Most of these support it by saying that he doesn’t actually trust the ADA since he didn’t tell them about his past and doesn’t inform them of every little thing. Basically, they portray him as being 100% an act who doesn’t care about anyone. And then berate him by saying that they refuse to take his mental health seriously until he’s shown to have a breakdown.

I believe anyone who has suffered from depression or any other kind of mental health issue has felt the need to act happy all the time when in public and then quiet down when they’re alone. That doesn’t make them a fake. They are under no obligation to tell every single thing going across their mind to their friend and that same logic applies to Dazai.

Moreover, we also have to take into consideration Dazai’s past. He simply can’t afford to make himself vulnerable. There’s literally a list of people out for his head. Additionally, of he were to tell everything to the ADA, he would be potentially dragging his new friends into his own mess and put them in unwarranted danger. Sure, the ADA already deals with a lot of dangerous stuff but I doubt he would purposely put them in harms way because of what he would consider his own selfishness.

Now in the terms of romance. A lot of people just mark him as the one who could never be faithful. I believe a romantic relationship with Dazai would be completely trust based. Ergo, a “love at first sight” scenario would definitely lead to it becoming nothing more than a one-time fling. To go off your last Dazai scenario, I actually do believe that if Dazai felt like he was getting too attached to someone, he might try to push them away out of utter self-loathing that he could never give them what they want. Essentially, fearing a scenario like that in No Longer Human where Yozo got together with Yoshiko and she ended up getting raped because of his involvement with her.

Atsushi isn’t just a crybaby. He’s brave simply because of the fact that he’s willing to do his best despite his fear. Moreover, his initial fear of being seen as a burden to the ADA is completely valid when you take into consideration his past treatment. A lot treat him as dull and boring character and go on about preferring his Beast counterpart. It’s fine to have a preference but I don’t think this is a reason to hate on him since the point of Beast was to elaborate on how alike Atsushi and Akutagawa are by putting them in the other’s shoes. And we see in even Beast, Atsushi is just the ultimate good boy cinnamonroll.

In romance, I keep seeing him being forced to portray the badboy roll and being just terrible to whoever is his partner within the story. Do people really think that he would so much as even consider berating his partner after all he’s been through?

- Kunikida -

He isn’t just some emotionless asshole. He cares. He’s just doesn’t show it in the most conventional way some are used to. Perhaps this is because the anime caused confusion by changing the time setting of the Azure Disciple event— But within the novel you can tell that he cares for and eventually starts to think highly of Dazai as the story progresses. He doesn’t express it since Dazai would tease him to the ends of the earth. But there were moments like in the embassy in which he mentally admired how talented he was. Or how elaborated that his way of knowing when something was wrong with Dazai was when he starts acting “normal”. As the novel put it, basically, weird is normal for Dazai while normal is weird. So when Dazai starts acting “normal” that’s his way of knowing that something is up.

In terms of romance… I swear I want to fight someone. The majority of Kunikida content I find usually involves him be pedophilic by having this thing for schoolgirls or just has whoever is his partner constant cry at him that he doesn’t love them since he doesn’t show his affection the conventional way. Then, the story goes on about how the partner keeps trying to change them. For starters. There is nothing wrong with having the thought of an ideal partner. Most of have twisted the idea of him having an ideal partner as him having this list of physical traits he wants them to have or some crap like that. Do people really think he’s that shallow? Having an ideal partner just means that you know what you want in a partner. Like how they treat you, if they’re neat and polite, etc. Moreover, we’ve seen time and time again that despite what he says, Kunikida is still willing to bend a little. Obviously he will hold his ground if you berate his ideals. But it’s possible to change his mind if you respect his ideals and offer alternatives and are willing to work with him.

- Chuuya -

Look. I don’t care what you ship. But Chuuya is way more than just that one guy who is constantly yelling about Dazai. He has every right to be portrayed as his own character without the need to involve Dazai around the line.

He may be angry when Dazai is involved but he’s the nicest grump you’ll ever see towards everyone else. In the spin-off novel, there’s a scene where he talks to Tsujimura, for example. He still kept this badass aura but spoke to her with the dignity and presence of a respectable mafia executive. Moreover, I noticed this why checking. Kyouko really did make sure he drank his respect-women dose every day since I noticed he never actually curses at female characters. With the Tsujimura scene, for example, he kept his usual rude speech but didn’t start to actually curse until Ango was brought up. With the battle against Yosano, he never pulled the “oh, you’re just a woman” crap when they appeared.

In the terms of romance. I swear I feel the need to break someone’s nico-nico-kneecaps for the outrageous amount of fics I find with Chuuya straight up raping his partner. Like, the man didn’t even want to fight against his sheep friends when they literally and figuratively stabbed in him in the back. It’s hard for me to imagine him as someone who wouldn’t treat his partner with the utmost respect in the world.

- Higuchi -

People seriously need to stop hating on her just ‘cause she’s “getting in the way of ships.” The gal clearly cares about Akutagawa and I don’t think it’s fair to hate on her just because of that. On that note, the whole idea of hating on female characters under the pretext of them getting in the way of ships seriously needs to stop. The fact that a female character cares for a guy, be it romantically or not, isn’t an excuse to antagonize them and treat them as an eyesore. She’s funny, she’s goofy, She’s just an ordinary lady who might be momentarily blinded by affection and get carried away. Which surely must happen to anyone who has experienced some kind of crush.

In the terms of romance. I haven’t read much fics with Higuchi as the main love interest. However, I have seen the AkutawagaxSomeoneElse types who just blatantly portray Higuchi as this terrible and wicked woman who is trying to ruin Akutagawa’s partner’s life. Sure, Higuchi may be heartbroken that she couldn’t be the chosen one but I doubt she would stoop as low as to ruin Akutagawa’s potential happiness. The most she would do is perhaps investigate if they’re a spy who intends to harm or use him.

- Yosano -

She’s a strong independent woman, enough said. I feel like a lot of people interpret her dislike for weak men as her either disliking physically weak men or disliking men altogether. Naturally, a strong woman would want and deserve someone who is equally as badass as them. So what I interpret her saying when she says she dislikes weak men is that she dislikes mentally weak men who bend over backwards easily and men who are so petty that they feel the need to look down on women just because of the fact that they’re a woman. The anime did her dirty by sexualizing her during her first introduction. We all know that one scene where she strips off her shirt before treating Tanizaki. Heck, I remember when I first saw that scene without knowing much about BSD I legit thought her healing ability involved her having sex with the guys. It was only until I read the manga some time later that I realized that wasn’t the case.

In the terms of romance. Again, she has every right to have someone as strong as herself. A badass would want someone who is just as badass standing as their partner. Moreover, I haven’t seen it to the degree as Higuchi’s case but I have seen the occasional hate on her under the pretext that she’s getting in the way of ships. To which I say again: We seriously need to stop antagonizing female characters who so much as exist in the same panel as a male character that’s involved in a popular fandom ship.

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Well then. Those were the most prominent ones that came to mind, so I surely left out some characters who have been mischaracterized just as badly.

Thank you for your time.

Ok quickly, our discord (dazai simps) is open to having you. We love new friends and meeting people, so an open invite is available.  i couldn’t agree with you more- i hate how Dazai is portrayed sometimes, his emotions are complex and he’s not as simple as an angsty suicidal flirt. Especially went the reader comes into the picture and it turns into a “love at first sight” thing. They may be fictional characters but i care that the characters i write for are as close to accurate as i can

I’ll go deeper into this later but i agree

Also I love when you send me these, i love reading them and you’re so sweet <3

[hms-chill]

RWRB Study Guide: Chapter 10

Hi y’all! I’m going through Casey McQuiston’s Red, White & Royal Blue and defining/explaining references! Feel free to follow along, or block the tag #rwrbStudyGuide if you’re not interested!

Earl Grey (267): Earl Grey tea is an incredibly common caffeinated tea. It is the base of a London fog.

Hamilton to Laurens, “you should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent” (267): This quote is from an April 1779 letter and is immediately followed by “But, as you have done it, and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on one condition; that for my sake, of not your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me”. Essentially, “you were rude to me, but I love you so much I forgive you as long as you look after yourself”. Just before it, Hamilton’s like “you taught me what it means to love”. (You can find it here)

Pyramus and Thisbe (268): The pair of lovers whose story inspired Romeo and Juliet, they were separated and could only talk through a wall between their houses (I’ve written a very in-depth analysis of this myth, which you can find here).

Dulles International to Heathrow (268): Dulles International is the airport in Washington, DC, and Heathrow is the classy airport in London.

John Cusack (270): An American actor largely known for his roles in the 1980s. This line in particular likely references Say Anything..., a romantic comedy known in part for a scene where Cusack’s character stands outside a girl’s window and plays music from a boombox.

Y’all had to marry your cousins (270): A reference to the royal tradition of only marrying other royals, which led to a whole lot of inbreeding.

Consummation (275): To consummate a marriage is to have sex for the first time, therefore making it “official”. 

Wilde’s complete works (276): Oscar Wilde is an Irish author famous for writing satires and also defining gay culture in the late 1800s. 

Fit of pique (277): If someone does something in a fit of pique, they do it spontaneously and out of anger at being wronged.

Mr. Darcy brooding at Pemberley (278): In Austen’s Pride and Prejudice (spoilers, though it’s been out for 207 years), after Elizabeth rejects Darcy’s first marriage proposal (which is essentially “your family sucks but you’re hot; marry me”), he goes back to the house his family owns and thinks about it and misses her.

Anmer Hall (278): A house owned by the Crown in Norfolk, England; it is currently home to Prince William, Duke of Cambridge.

Mel and Sue (280): A comedy duo and hosts of The Great British Bake Off. Sue was outed in 2002, but claims that “being a lesbian is only about the 47th most interesting thing about me”.

South Kensington (284): A district of West London known for its high density of museums and cultural landmarks.

Prince Consort Road (284): Prince Consort Road is a street in London named after Prince Albert, consort to Queen Victoria. A consort is a royal’s spouse or partner (hence Alex laughing at the idea of his being a prince’s consort)

Ferris Bueller/ Sloane (284-285): Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is a popular movie from the 1980s about Ferris, who skips school for a day of wild shenanigans in Chicago. Sloane is his girlfriend who’s roped in for the ride. 

Victoria and Albert Museum* (285): The Victoria and Albert Museum, often abbreviated “V&A”, is the world’s largest museum of applied and decorative art and design. (you can explore their collections here)

Renaissance City (285): Room 50a of the V&A is full of Renaissance sculptures. (photo here) 

Seated Buddha in black stone (285): The V&A has a bunch of Buddha sculptures, but this one is the only one I saw that’s in black stone.

John the Baptist nude and in bronze (285): Possibly this piece from 1881 by French sculptor Auguste Rodin and is in the V&A’s collection.

Tipu’s Tiger (285): A nearly life-sized semi-automaton that shows a tiger mauling a man in European clothes. The tiger makes growling sounds and the man screams and waves his hand when a handle on the side is turned; it also contains a small pipe organ on the inside and was created to show the power that the Tipu Sultan of India held over invading Brits. The “give it back” that Catherine argues for is officially called repatriation, it would mean that (Western) museums have to give back stolen objects; British museums are famously bad at doing this. (see Tipu’s Tiger here)

Westminster (286): Westminster Abbey, a church in London where royals are crowned and buried. It is covered with intricate carvings and beautiful stained glass.

The Great Bed of Ware (286): A bed made by Hans Vredeman de Vries from the 1590s; it is ten feet wide and made of oak. (see it here)

Twelfth Night (286): A Shakespeare comedy full of chaos that includes a woman cross-dressing, then her twin brother being mistaken for her. 

Epocoene (286): A 1609 play that includes a boy dressing as a woman to dupe a man into giving his son an acceptable inheritance. 

Don Juan (286): A Spanish figure known for his powers for wooing women; the first text published about him was in the 1630s.

Florence (287): Florence is a city known for its art; it was the cultural center of the Italian renaissance. 

Gothic choir screen in the V&A’s Renaissance City (287): This Roodloft, or choir screen, carved by Coenraed van Norenberch is in the back of the Renaissance City in the V&A. It’s a stunning piece; the link above has great pictures and a more in-depth description than I could give.

Zephyr statue by Francavilla (287): You can see this statue here; it was one of thirteen statues commissioned for the garden of a villa near Florence. According to Greek mythology, Zephyr (the west wind) was married to Chloris, goddess of flowers.

Narcissus (by Cioli) (287): This statue may have once been the centerpiece to a fountain with Narcissus looking into an actual pool; it depicts him in the moment he sees and is mesmerised by his reflection.

Pluto stealing Proserpina (287): Likely the statue “The Rape of Proserpina” by Vincenzo de' Rossi. I couldn’t find it on the V&A’s site, but there’s more info here.

Jason with the Golden Fleece (287): This is a sculpture of a very naked Jason, the Greek hero who stole the golden fleece. He was helped by its owner’s daughter, who was in love with him, but whom he later abandoned. You can see the statue here.

Samson Slaying a Philistine (287): You can see this statue here. Henry does a pretty good job of explaining the incredible history behind it; all I have to add from my (limited) research is that it is remarkable in part for the fact that there is no one point on it that draws the eye-- it demands to be looked at completely or not at all.

Victoria and sodomy laws (288): Queen Victoria famously instituted a whole lot of anti-sodomy laws.

Viau on James/George (288): A 1623 poem by Théophile de Viau:

“Apollo with his songs

Debauched young Hyacinthus

Just as Corydon fucked Amyntas,

So Caesar did not spurn boys.

One man fucks Monsieur le Grand de Bellegarde [a friend of Viau],

Another fucks the Comte de Tonnerre.

And it is well known that the King of England

Fucks the Duke of Buckingham.”

“Christ had John, and I have George” (288): This is an actual thing that James I/VI said to the heads of the church. Here’s the full quote, from wikipedia (emphasis is my own): “I, James, am neither a god nor an angel, but a man like any other. Therefore I act like a man and confess to loving those dear to me more than other men. You may be sure that I love the Earl of Buckingham more than anyone else, and more than you who are here, assembled. I wish to speak in my own behalf and not to have it thought to be a defect, for Jesus Christ did the same, and therefore I cannot be blamed. Christ had John, and I have George.”

George iii (289): George III was the king against whom the American colonies revolted. He was deeply religious and instituted laws declaring that royals could not marry without the approval of the court.

Convent church of Santa Chiara in Florence (290): This church is no longer a church, but the altar chapel is in an alcove in the V&A. It is the only Italian Renaissance chapel outside of Italy. (you can see photos of it here and here)

Santa Chiara and Saint Francis of Assisi (290): Saint Francis of Assisi founded a few different monastic orders and is one of the most celebrated saints; Saint Clare of Assisi founded a women’s monastic order and wrote the first set of monastic guidelines by a woman. 

Blessed Mother (290): Mary, the mother of Jesus, one of the holiest figures in Catholicism. 

“Come, hijo mío, de la miel, porque es Buena, and the honeycomb sweet to thy taste”** (290): “My son, eat thou honey, because it is good; and the honeycomb, which is sweet to thy taste. So shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off” -- Proverbs 24:13-14, King James Version (yes, that King James. He translated the Bible to make the church stop hating him). 

David and Jonathan (290): An aggressively gay couple from the Bible who have been presented as friends for centuries. Jonathan was a prince and David a shepherd, but God promised that David would be king one day. Rather than argue this or hate David for it, Jonathan welcomed David into his household and loved him despite the prophecy that he would one day usurp him. Following Jonathan’s death, David took in Jonathan’s son and looked after him. 

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, amen (291): Many Christian prayers end with “in the name of the Father, the son, and of the Holy Spirit, amen”. It’s a way of celebrating the god who gives you all of the good things in your life while also giving up control to them. 

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A fill in from chapter 1, as requested by someone on AO3: 

Deputy Chief of Staff (Zahra’s position, 23): The Deputy Chief of Staff is the top aide to the president’s top aide, and is responsible for ensuring that everything runs smoothly within the bureaucracy of the White House. 

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*This museum puts out books called “maker’s guides” that teach you how to make pieces based on things in their collections; they’re super duper cool.

**I’m not a theologian, but I am a pastor’s kid, and just... this gets me. This whole bit, but this Proverb especially. Like obviously there’s the “oh we’re kissing and I’m thinking about honey tasting sweet”, but verse 14 coming in with the “when you’ve found what’s right, you will be rewarded with the confidence of that rightness and you will have hope”? Just kill me outright next time. Don’t make me google my own murder weapon.

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If there’s anything I missed or that you’d like more on, please let me know! And if you’d like to/are able, please consider buying me a ko-fi? I know not everyone can, and that’s fine, but these things take a lot of time/work and I’d really appreciate it!

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Chapter 1 // Chapter 9 // Chapter 11