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birdsofhands · 6 months

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03/16/2024

it's a sunday morning. i know that there's a really huge gap from my last entry and for that i hope it's okay. i hope you understand.

today, at around 12pm, i am sitting at my desktop computer writing about what seemed like an epiphany: i am alive in a perfect day, as if it's already a memory. no. the day was so beautiful and perfect that i knew i would wish to go back to it many years after. i'm quite ashamed to write right now but i figured i had to. [i was reading murakami and his writing was so beautiful it puts me to shame, he's a weirdo, too]

i was rereading one of my favorite books: kafka on the shore. i am on page 308. i'm sitting on this monoblock chair under the now, still small, but provides ample shade tree, a round table beside me with my perfectly made iced coffee. a pen and some tabs to annotate my book. it was a perfect slow morning. there's a faint sound of a lyre being played from the neighbors, the air through which it travels in is laced with the sweet smell of sugar being melted, a reminder that my mother is at the kitchen, making leche flans, her favorite dessert to make. and suddenly i had this strange thought [ it's not really strange to me now since ever since i was a kid, i've always become stupidly miserable over the subject of time and how it passes so quickly and how we're all victims of it no matter who and where we are. no body escapes the claws of time. perhaps the book i was reading also influenced and heightened this feeling. anyways. im straying away again. what i wanted to say is that, at one instant, like flashing lights blinded me, i thought about this moment, this wonderful fleeting and impactful moment of my life, and an image occurred to me: it was me, old and aging, wise through time and hardships, hopefully happy and content and lived a full life in spite of myself, remembering this moment. and how much i would want to go back to this certain place. this certain time, which in that moment doesn't exist anymore.

and so, i used this as leverage, as a gift to my future self, the old wrinkled me. i went back in time. i pictured myself going back in time, i am an old woman, this moment has gone and faded in the core memories of my life but it's there glowing like daylight of the dawn of my life. and i look at the yellow glazed surroundings. i remember thinking, and here is our old house, this small tree, this round table, this steel matting gate of the neighbors, this kubo, and my mother is still alive. she's cooking in the kitchen, the sweet smell of sugar melting engulfs the air. it's a simple sunday morning, sounds of digs and birds and chickens all around. and beyond that the faint rustle of the leaves swaying with a sound of a lyre playing. under the kubo is loki, gray eyed grumpy lovely fat cat that i adored so much. AND I'M HERE AGAIN. i am back. i made myself go back in time. i let my self experience it again. i went inside the house and helped my mother a little. inside the house was our house. in 2024. the sweet smell heightened as i go back. i stepped inside the newly cleaned white tiled floors and remembered i was still wearing my crocs. i took a step back. my sister was standing at the steps looking at me as if judging my stupid ministrations, as if trying to figure out what im on about again. she's fixing her face. her boyfriend will come. i walked inside with my feet kissing the smooth cold tiles. my grandmother was there too. it's been a while. the kitchen was a mess. it reminds me of when i was much younger and there's something to celebrate. the air was warm. i am at peace. i am back at the house. i am 23 again. life is well.

as i was writing this on my desktop i was searching for a song to accompany me because somehow i couldn't get myself to write. it has been my greatest issue as of late. i wanted to write. i wanted to document every little thing that has happened in the pas few weeks and months. i wanted to tell you that i saw a video of a white blood cell nirpicking the cells to protect the body and how that simple video changed something inside me. it made me kinder to myself. i wish i could srite about it. i want to write about itm about everything. but whenever i try, it doesn't come out the way i wanted it to. but i guess that's just how writing is supposed to bem not everything can and should be translated into words. BUT HOW ELSE AM I TO KEEP THIS? i wanted to preserve this memory. this time frame. i want to keep a remnant of myself during this era. i want to meet me again once im older.bi know i will never be like this again. i want to preserve this. me. this moment. this time of my life. of confusion and answers and calm and storm and slowly learning. i am pretty too. i think i am in my most beautiful era. lol. my hair is long, i have a bangs, my hair has a good volume, it's wavy at the ends.

okay i strayed so far from what i was gonna say but here it is. i found this video on youtube. i think it's a gem. it's perfect for the mood i was in, look at the sunlight. that was what this day felt like. i love this life in spite of everything that has happened. i love this life.

youtube

#Youtube

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mayjor-fangirl · 6 years

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undefined

youtube

To all the

Stays

To my

Family

We've come

So far

From our

Start

Through

Hardships

Through

Pain

And shed

Tears

I want to show

You

A video

Created

By a fellow

Stay

YouTube

That tells

Our Story

So as we

Continue

Our

Story

Into the

New Year

We need to stay

Strong

And support

Stray Kids

Until the

End

Stay, where Stray Kids Stay

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leggomylino · 4 years

Text

In Which Hyunjin Sends You Dragon Fruit...

Genre: crack Member: Hwang Hyunjin Au: dragon fruit saga (checkout SKZ M.List for more info) Word Count: 950 Warning(s): none! Requested by: @cotccotc Tag List: @skzwriternet @hanniiesuckle17 @hanstagrams @hyunsunq @smolboiseavey @jisungsjheekies @moonlit-han @stay-nctzen @stayndays @cotccotc @skzctnightnight @multi-stan-present @freckledberries @peachyhan @hoes4hoseok @sarangsungs @changbinniee | Let me know if you’d like to be added! Comment, ask, or dm me! <3

ღ Stray Kids M.List | M.List ღ

x x x

“Don’t you want to become one with the fruit? It’s important for our relationship.”

It was another one of those days, where a brightly colored fruit that oddly glowed came between you and your boyfriend’s time together. Sighing at another picnic failed, you sat up straight from an attempt at cloud gazing.

“No, Hyunjin, I really don’t. Why does me eating this fruit mean so much to you?”

He had a strange look on his face that didn’t add up. “It’s...just important.”

“Why?”

“Yes, Hyunjin, why?”

He paused, for an awfully long time.

“...Because it’s important for our--”

“Urgh!”

You rolled onto your sandaled feet and began packing the lunch you’d spent many sweat-filled hours making in that stifling kitchen of yours with the broken AC. You’d liked Hyunjin for a long time, ever since you could remember, but then suddenly one day, he came back from a trip to a small country farm outside of town never the same. He’d suddenly become obsessed with this strange “dragon fruit,” and after trying to recruit his family and friends on the stuff, a few months later he turned his sights on you. It wasn’t that the fruit looked bad or smelt weird...it was just...the vibe you got, the way it looked good, too good, glowing almost, and the strong spicy smell that couldn’t be natural from a fruit deeming to be sweet.

When Hyunjin asked you to take a bite, you felt like Snow White being lured by the Wicked Queen. It sent every hair on the back of your neck standing straight and tall, and a cliché shiver ran down your spine alerting all your sensing to be on...well, high alert. It was simply bad news. But you didn’t really know how to tell Hyunjin that. He always got this crazed look in his eye, like the Terminator ready to zap you to pieces with his laser eyes if you so much as spoke one bad word against it.

So instead, you simply told him you didn’t want to and begged to differ that it was such a big deal. It was the closest you could come to challenging him without offending the fruit itself and risking a tantrum; and so far, it’d bought you a little time.

After pulling the rug out from under him (literally), Hyunjin summersaulted to green pastures and watched you leave with panicked eyes before scouring the grass for his lost Jewel of the Nile. With a sarcastic huff and a roll of your eyes, you shook your head all the way home.

“Seriously, what’s with him?” you grumbled, trudging your picnic gear and leftovers into the house. “All he cares about it that dumb, stupid fruit. It’s like he’s been possessed! I don’t see what the big--”

“Y/n.”

The door behind you slammed shut. You gasped, seeing Hyunjin standing there, in your house, in your entryway, just a few inches in front of you, looking like he’d been there a while.

But that was impossible. Sure, you’d given him a key to your place. But there was no way he could have gotten there before you.

Unless…

He was some sort of wizard. “I got something for you. Tomorrow is your birthday, right?”

“Hyunjin…” You took a sharp breath, attempting to calm your senses. You looked him dead in the eyes. “Hyunjin, what are you doing here? How did you get here before me?”

“......” His eyes darted to the side, side-stepping the question. “Why don’t we open your gift and then head back to the park? I wasn’t finished eating, and it’s a really lovely day--”

“HYUNJIN!!!”

You smacked him. What else could you do?

“Hyunjin, it’s not my birthday, and I’m not going anywhere with you until you tell me what’s gotten into you.”

“......”

Those Terminator eyes were back. You gulped, hoping you didn’t just commit yourself to death...but, then…

Hyunjin started crying.

“H-Hyunjin…?”

“I-I just…” He sobbed, holding a small gift box between you two. “I know I’ve been acting kinda strange to you lately...but I just wanted us to be a power couple…”

“A…” You frowned. “A what?”

And just like that, he was back to being the Terminator. Except, maybe a bit more eager and a bit less scary. “Open your gift. I’ve been trying to tell you, Y/n, it’s the greatest thing in the entire world! ...N-Next to our love, of course.”

“......” Sighing, groaning, you ripped the box from his hands, shooing him towards a couch in the living room. Sitting a cushion away from him, you began unwrapping the glittering gift box hesitantly, carefully, before a powerful shine overtook all the wrapping paper.

...It was the same dumb piece of fruit Hyun had been holding onto like a security blanket all week.

“Hyunjin, I told you, I don’t want--”

“Eat it, Y/n.”

“Wh-What?”

His voice became demanding, powerful. His eyes glazed over, and for a second he appeared to be at the head of some sort of mafia syndicate. “Take a bite. Just one. That’s all you need…”

Yikes. Back to Wicked Step-Queen. What should you do? What was the right answer?

Well, you lifted the glowing dragon fruit from the box, staring at it pretty hard…

And chucked it at his face. “Forget it, Hyunjin! I’m not eating your stupid voodoo fruit!!!”

Then you ran back to your room, sobbing. It wouldn’t be until later on around the holidays Hyunjin would send you a “suspicious fruit cake” and dare you to take a bite, and you, presumably a bit tipsy on eggnog, would actually commit to eating half the dish, but that’s a story for another time.

ღ Stray Kids M.List | M.List ღ

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luna-helps-writing · 3 years

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Could I please get an Lotr and The Hobbit Matchup?

☘️ 18yo Woman // Bisexual // Autistic and Disabled

☘️ I really love Mythology (Worldwide), Gardening, Home Remedies and Superstitions, Biology, Witchcraft and the Arts. I hope to begin crafting things like Jewelry, Weapons and Kilts, possibly even making a business out of them. I am also an avid writer and like to draw.

☘️ I’m interested in Witchcraft, such as working with Deities and Spirits, and performing magic that helps me and others. The first spell I ever performed was a healing spell for a sick friend, and not thirty minutes after I finished it, I got a text saying he felt a lot better, so I guess it must’ve worked!

☘️ Because of my Autism, I can be rather shy or quiet and quite blunt. I like explaining and teaching people things. I’m very polite but I have been known to go off when pushed enough. I’m also a bit of a trickster, unpredictable and wise in an unconventional way. I have the personality of “I never start shit, but I always finish it”. When you get to know me, I actually have a really good sense of humor and a spunky personality, but it can get buried under the nervousness a lot. I also have a strong sense of duty to others, I’m very protective over fellow misfits and am always kind and polite to those I deem worthy of it. I’m very conflict averse, but when I’m deeply upset enough, I go for the throat.

☘️ I am very short, with a fluffy mane of brown hair, blue eyes, crooked glasses, and pale skin with lots of scabs and moles all over it. I love to wear skirts, especially my red hand-me-down kilt, but that doesn’t limit my tomboy attitude at all

☘️ I have the bizarre ability to attract and befriend random animals. So far, I’ve befriended a stray cat named Diablo, a dog named Hans, a backyard snake, my pet rat Canoli, and a young horse named Fileo. People tell me that animals like me because I have “good vibes” and am very close with nature

☘️ I LOVE going outside and getting messy. Playing in the mud, getting soaked in the rain, I’m the type to go outside and come back home covered in dirt and twigs. It’s just really fun to me.

☘️ I have a habit of giggling to myself just by remembering something funny that happened, even if it was a couple years ago. I also laugh when I do something stupid, because I find my flaws and shortcomings funny for the most part. I love to laugh with people, but never at them. I never take myself too seriously, and I have a pet peeve for others who take themselves and silly things too seriously as well

☘️ My closest friends say I give off “Dwobbit” vibes. That’s a ½ Dwarf and ½ Hobbit btw. I’m around 4’ 10” tall, I don’t shave, I love crafting and art, I live in the Mountains, I’m tomboyish but I also love gardening and can be a bit of a homebody, I love going barefoot, etc.

☘️ I’m basically like a tiny, less-impressive Aragorn. I love travelling on foot, getting messy outside, I was kind of a Horse Girl as a kid ngl, I’ve always wanted to be a knight or king of some sort, chances are that I haven’t bathed in awhile, and I too would pine for a hot elf girl for literal years on end.

Sorry this description is so long, I hope you don’t mind! Thanks so much dear! 🤗🎉💕

Don’t worry about the long description! Thank you for your ask!

For the hobbit, I ship you with Fili!

• Personally, I believe that Fili would go absolutely crazy for witchcraft. His reaction at Tauriel when she healed Kili said enough for me.

• He would have no trouble helping you with your jewelry or weapons. It’s basically his expertise and he loves teaching you all about it!

• Your autism doesn’t bother him at all. He knows how to help, but he also knows exactly when to let you be. Comments that sometimes slip out seems normal to him, as he grew up with a brother who might’ve had the same issue....

• Often takes walks with you. You’ll go anywhere and everywhere. Sometimes, when he feels bold, he’ll launch at you, pushing you into the mud or into the water. Not that you mind. You drag him with you before he can take a step back!

• Your laugh might yet be one of his favorite things. There’ll be times when the two of you are sitting quietly and you suddenly let out a giggle. He cannot help but smile at you and join your laughter, even if he has no idea what’s so funny.

• And last, but very not least, he is an amazing caretaker. He will join you in fun activities, but he will know when and where to draw a line. He’ll remind you to take baths, and if you decline, he’ll probably propose to join you.

For Lord of the Rings, I ship you with Aragorn!

• This sweetheart barely knows any life outside the wilds. Traveling with you would be amazing for him! He’ll show you the prettiest places in Middle-Earth and introduce you to the greatest animals to walk around. (To which you interact with in a great way, much to his surprise.)

• He himself knows a thing or two about home remedies and biology, but your witchcraft takes him by surprise. Sure, he has seen it before, but now he personally knows someone who is great at it!

• It is absolutely no surprise that traveling with a ranger can get messy at times, but you don’t mind at all. Sometimes, he’ll just brood off into the distance and you’ll throw something at him like a pinecone or a piece of mud. He sees this as an immediate challenge and will not stop chasing you until you surrender.

• Aragorn loves how blunt you are. Sometimes, you can’t help it, but he won’t mind the comments at all. He appreciates them. There are multiple times where you’re very shy, but he’ll stand up for you, urging the person to talk to him and not to you.

• He teases you a lot about your laughing. There will be times where you suddenly laugh, and he’ll imitate you, which makes you laugh even harder.

• The two of you together are a great combo! He is there to help when you need it, while you do the exact same for him, because even our favorite ranger sometimes needs help, though he will not confess it.

My second choice was Éowyn, but Aragorn seemed a better fit to me.

• Often play fights with you. It’s great for your entertainment and great for her sparring experience.

• Seems like a sweetheart, but if anyone dares mock you, you can count on her to rain hellfire upon that person. You will definitely need to calm her down.

• Might he the most blown-away person by your witchcraft. She will buy you all sorts of gifts to help you. Sometimes she’ll bring something that you don’t really need, but you appreciate it nonetheless and proudly display it.

• LOVES HEARING ABOUT MYTHOLOGY. Before you go to bed, the nights are spend by you telling Éowyn stories. It could be about anything, but she is all ears. She even has a little notebook where she writes the things down you say. It’s truly adorable.

I hope it was to your liking! Have a great day and stay safe please❤️

#self insert quotes #requests #eowyn x reader #aragorn x reader #fili x reader #send asks #requests are open #self insert quote

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kookiebunnii · 4 years

Text

d4u || easy employment

march 2019. jungkook had his first ever job interview today. i told him i believed in him but, to be honest, i wasn’t sure if we were going to finish a carton of ice cream on the couch afterwards because he landed the job or because he got rejected on the spot. hopefully it’s the former.

pairing: bestfriend!jungkook x reader

genre: slice of life, humor

word count: 2.6k

warnings: some inappropriate humor

“Y/N? Can you help me?”

You straighten up from where you’re leaning on the kitchen counter, popping cherry tomatoes into your mouth for a mid-afternoon snack. It was Wednesday, meaning you were able to clamber home as soon as your early morning classes ended. Biting into another tomato and savoring the tart sweetness coating your tongue, you ask, “What’s up?”

Jungkook walks up to you and snatches the next tomato right out of your fingers before tossing it into his own mouth with gusto. He smiles at the way your face immediately drops in disappointment before answering smartly, “I don’t know how to tie a tie.”

Raising your eyebrows, you give his form a quick up-and-down before immediately noticing that the boy was dressed quite differently than usual. He typically left the house in whatever oversized tee or old hoodie he could find, but this time he was wearing a nice button-up with khakis. Pushing aside thoughts of how to get back at Guk for taking your last cherry tomato, you decide instead to inquire about what the occasion might be.

“What’s with the outfit?”

He spins around once for you, just to show off, before he replies, “I’ve got a job interview.”

You laugh while washing the bowl you’d previously used to house your snack for the day. Before drying your hands on a kitchen towel, you can’t help but check him out once again. He looked different for sure, but it wasn’t like you’d never seen the kid dressed up. You practically took wedding pictures with him last month.

So why was your pulse thrumming like a teen girl in a young adult novel?

Refraining from the urge to slap yourself, which was a very difficult task, you continue, “Where at? Must be a weird place if they’re willing to consider you.”

He frowns to show his dismay at your words before he strides closer to you shyly like a child wanting approval, “It’s at a magazine publisher’s. They’re looking for a photographer, someone to provide a few shots for their articles.”

Your jaw drops and you grip the sides of his arms before squeaking in excitement, “That sounds great! That’s perfect for you.”

Jungkook seems a lot happier now that you’re as thrilled about the job prospect as he is. He brushes some stray hairs away from your face to tuck behind your ear before saying, “It sure is. My friend is one of their writers, he recommended me.”

You take hold of the bright red tie that’s casually slung around his shoulders. It’s slightly wrinkled near the middle, a likely result of Jungkook failing multiple times to correctly tie a knot. The idea of him struggling with something so small makes you giggle, and you instantly wrap the fabric around your hands.

“Good thing I know how this works. We should probably go with a black or blue tie though, it’ll go with your shirt better,” you suggest, poking him in the chest as an indication for him to lead you to his closet.

He immediately understands your prodding, turning around to make a beeline towards his bedroom door. His obedience makes you smile, so you tug the hem of his shirt in your fingers as he leads the way. It’s usually easier for you to make this gesture, given the looseness of his regular clothing. However, with the pressed shirt tucked into the waistband of his pants, there is very little give in the fabric. You’re momentarily mesmerized by the change, watching the way your hand hangs onto the back of a man, instead of a boy.

“You’re not looking at my ass, right?”

Rolling your eyes, even though you knew he couldn’t see you, you grip his shirt tighter in order to pinch the skin underneath. He yelps, trying to grab you in retaliation, but you’re fast enough to quickly dodge inside his room and start sorting through the ties hanging from the inside of the closet door.

Laughing loudly, you pull a deep blue tie dotted with smiling whales off the hook and wave it in front of your best friend. Jungkook runs a hand through his hair before replying, “That was Jin’s birthday gift last year.”

“He has good taste,” you muse, giving the comedic tie another glance before returning it to its place. The fact that Jungkook had the tie sitting alongside his others, ones that are definitely more practical, says a lot about him. Even if he would likely never wear the thing, he respected his senior enough to keep the present. Under the typical silly and absentminded behavior of your roommate, he has a good heart.

“Should we go with the black one?” he suggests, walking forward to tug another tie off the hook above where your hand was resting.

Leaning your head against the closet door in thought, you examine the fabric in his hands before giving him a curt nod, “It’ll do.”

Seconds later, Jungkook is sitting on a corner of the bed with his legs slightly apart so that you’re able to stand between them with relative ease. You try your absolute hardest to focus on the task at hand, and not at the way he’s looking at you. It’s silly, the way your head fills with irrelevant thoughts when you knew that you were fantasizing about a boy that likely only ever saw you as the chill friend who was easy to tease. As you slide the tie under his collar while holding your fingers as steady as possible, you narrowly miss the way his Adam’s apple quickly dips in nervousness. Even if it was an irrational thought, you wanted to believe that your touch was doing somethingto him.

“You should be grateful that back in the day, my prom date didn’t know how to tie a tie either,” you chortle, your movements a little uncertain since it wasn’t everyday you were tying ties for men, but overall your memory served you well.

He grinned, “I remember him. He was trying to kiss you the whole night.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Jungkook laughs at the clear discomfort on your face, before gently patting the side of your hip as if to apologize. His touch is brief, not staying longer than necessary, but enough for the pressure to linger against your waist. Thinking about this causes you to mess up the next step, so you curse and start all over again.

“You’ve never had an interview before. Are you prepared?” you ask, curious but mostly just trying to hide the fact that you were back to square one due to being easily distracted.

His lips press together in thought, as he unconsciously leans back and uses his hands to prop himself up. You’re forced to follow the motion, so you also lean yourself slightly forward in order to prevent yourself from accidentally choking the boy. Not that that wouldn’t be entertaining.

“I read whatever popped up on the first page of the Google after I searched ‘how to ace your interview’,” he straightens up again after noticing the uncomfortable position he’s put you in, “It’s probably good enough.”

You shake your head, clicking your tongue in disapproval. Quickly finishing and straightening the knot, you stand back to admire your handiwork before saying, “That’s not the same as actually practicing. If you’re ready, let’s do a practice run before you head out.”

He looks up at you like a startled rabbit before he tries his best to regain his composure, “That’s probably not necessary…”

“Of course it is! Pretend I’m your interviewer,” you take a seat in his bright orange gaming chair, giving it a spin just for your own entertainment.

Jungkook appears slightly out of his element, but you recognize the exact moment he makes up his mind to humor you for the time being. Immediately, the air about him changes as he straightens up. Even though he is sitting, it feels like he towers over you. You wonder momentarily if out of all the things Jungkook is good at, acing interviews will just be another on that list.

“Welcome, Mr. Jeon. How are you doing?” you settle into your role easily, crossing your legs as you briefly compliment yourself on your own persona. Perhaps if your career in international business doesn’t pan out after graduation, you could try auditioning for a few television shows.

Giving you an easy smile, the one he usually uses on adults he wants to make a good impression on, he replies, “Very well, thank you. And you?”

Surprisingly, he answers all of your following questions with confidence and poise. Even if he briefly pauses for a few seconds to consider his answers at times, you knew that that would simply give him extra points. Interviewers usually liked signs that the candidate was considering his or her answer carefully, and not just rattling off whatever popped into their heads. You really shouldn’t have doubted Jungkook’s abilities, even if it was his first time trying something. Perhaps you’ll continue your quest of “find something Jungkook is bad at” some other time.

“For our last question, we’d like to know what you consider your greatest weakness,” you chirp, knowing that this exact question used to trip you up all the time. It was easy to make up something you were good at and try to brag about it without coming off as arrogant. However, what could you say that would simultaneously be accepted as a weakness yet not make you look totally inept? You hated this question.

“I’m too handsome,” Jungkook announced proudly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His nose wrinkles as he smiles, and you know immediately he wants you to laugh at his comment.

You decide not to be the obedient counterpart to his comedy routine, so you say, “I’m afraid I’ll have to disagree with that one Mr. Jeon. Thank you for coming but unfortunately we will not be-”

“You couldn’t even pretend to humor me?” he gets up to try and pull you out of your chair, which is an easy feat for him.

“Good girls don’t tell lies.”

“And you’re supposed to be a good girl?” he replies, raising an eyebrow as a dangerous smirk tugs against his lips.

Whatever was happening, it was definitely doing something to you. His comment was definitely harmless, but given how much you were struggling with your thoughts recently, it easy threatened the wall you were trying to keep up. You bite your lip, trying to casually brush it off and think of a snide comment to counter with, but your mind refused to operate.

“There’s still some time left,” he says after the silence drags for a beat longer than it should. You press your fingers against your cheeks to make sure you’re not beet red, as he paces over to a full-length mirror attached to the wall and starts fixing his hair. You don’t see any issues with it, but if fiddling with his locks made him feel better, than so be it. Standing behind him, you notice the way your reflection is beaming with pride. Even if you were too bashful to admit it, seeing him all dressed up with your help made you feel accomplished. You had a hand in helping him out, thus his successes could also be counted as you own.

“Don’t we look good together?” Jungkook chirps, bring you forward with an arm around your shoulders. You’re shorter than him, so the gesture looks a bit weird in the mirror, especially given the dichotomy of your outfits. Next to Jungkook’s office worker look, you look more like the casual homebody in your ratty t-shirt and shorts.

“I think it’s mainly me,” you strike a pose and give yourself a once-over.

He laughs, and you immediately smile at the familiar sound. Busying himself with packing various items in his backpack, you watch from the sidelines as your best friend prepares. You hand him his freshly printed resume when you notice it laying on his dresser. He gives you his mumbled thanks while scanning to room the ensure that he hadn’t forgotten anything else.

“One last thing.”

You unbutton the cuffs of his shirtsleeves, rolling them up so they end just under his elbows. Smoothing out any remaining wrinkles from your ministrations, you look up at him with a satisfied expression. He observes your newest addition before deadpanning, “What’s this for?”

“It looks better this way. Haven’t you seen those memes about how men get ten times more attractive with their sleeves rolled up?” you muse, reaching up in an attempt to squeeze his cheeks but your victim expert dodges away at the last minute.

“How could I be more attractive though?” he teases, striking the same pose you had earlier in front of the mirror.

“Alright that’s your cue to leave.”

He chuckles, slinging his backpack on his shoulder and heading out of his room. You follow him dutifully, hoping to at least see him out the door. You can feel the tiny buzz of anticipation along your arms, knowing that Jungkook had to face the upcoming challenge on his own. You knew he could do it, but you worry nevertheless.

“Hey um, don’t make fun of me…but could I get a hug?”

The awkward way Jungkook stands at the door, arms slightly raised at his sides in preparation for the hug he was requesting, almost made you melt on the spot. He was comfortable with physical touch for sure, but he had never really asked you for a hug like this before. It was like he had this big boy image he wanted to portray daily, but you suppose that he must be even more nervous than you are if he’s willing to shed that in front of you—even at the expense of you teasing him about it for the next month.

You don’t answer, holding back the usual quip you’d throw at him. On a normal day, perhaps you’d coo and slyly ask him if he’s turning into a soft baby boy, but you knew that this was a serious request. Bounding up to him, you wrap your arms around his waist and give him the embrace he requested. Doing your best to convey all the joy and hope into the hug, you relish the way he holds you just as tight with his face buried in your neck. His breath tickles your hair, and you hope that somehow despite how close the two of you were, he couldn’t feel the way your heart betrayed you. Because if the proximity meant he could feel it pounding a mile a minute, then maybe he’d realize just how much more he was starting to mean to you.

“I’ll be back by dinner,” he says, patting the top of your head as he does so, before he opens the door in preparation to head to his interview.

When he turns back one last time, as if he needs one last look at you for encouragement, you give him your brightest smile and a thumbs up.

You knew in that moment that you would always be behind him—every step of the way.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

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krackheadkulture · 4 years

Text

The Mysteries of Hogwarts | Stray Kids Hogwarts AU

CHAPTER 8: CHASERS AND RUNNERS

“So… what was so important that you have to drag me literally halfway around the school from the Quidditch field?” Haeun raised her eyebrow as soon as Seungmin stopped in front of their Ravenclaw’s common room entrance.

Seungmin gave her a slight smile before facing the bronze eagle doorknob on the large wooden door. The eagle on the doorknob twisted, fixating its gaze on the boy in front of him.

“What question can someone ask all day long, always getting different answers, and yet all the answers could be correct?” The husky voice of the eagle spoke.

Seungmin glanced at Haeun. “I promise it’ll be worth it,” he said before turning back to the eagle who was waiting patiently for the answer. “What time is it?”

The eagle paused. A creak on the doorknob was made before the door swung open, revealing the beautiful blue common room. Rays of the sun shone through the window, hitting every furniture on the opposite to reveal a deeper royal blue. Haeun had always felt comfortable in these hues of blues.

She followed Seungmin into the common room which was surprisingly empty since it was already the end of the classes and normally everyone would be studying in the common room.

“Where’s everyone?” Haeun asked.

“Quidditch or… the library,” Seungmin replied, walking towards the couch near the fireplace and sat on the soft cushion. The fireplace immediately lit up, warming its surroundings almost instantly. Haeun walked carefully towards Seungmin and sat on the other chair that was opposite Seungmin.

“So… what did you want to show me?” She asked as she stared into the boy’s soft brown eyes. They disappeared when he smiled once again, his eyes bent into crescents. He said nothing and Haeun raised her eyebrows. “Come on, don’t tell me you brought me here for no reason,” she pouted and he chuckled in return.

“I would, but obviously, everyone knows not to waste another Ravenclaw’s time if it’s not important,” Seungmin explained. His hands stretched to the back of the couch. “I got you something… and I just hope you might use it.”

Before Haeun could say anything, Seungmin lifted a wooden sleek stick in front of her. Haeun glanced at the carefully carved wood, realising it was a bat. It looked old but she knew that there was something special about it.

“This… is a beater’s bat but it’s not any bats at all. Have… have you heard of Kim Jaemyeon-” Seungmin began.

“Kim Jaemyeon, one of Ravenclaw’s best beaters in the history of Hogwarts in the 1890s?” Haeun’s eyes widen. “You even know him? Oh my, I really thought that Renjin and I were the only ones who knew about that legend! He is definitely one of the best-” She continued to chattered excitedly.

“And… he was my great… great… great… great…” Seungmin drifted off as soon as Haeun had gotten the gist of it. “Grandfather, and this bat was the one and only used by yours truly,” He grinned. “And I want to give it to you, because I know you are going to be one of the greatest beater in the history of Hogwarts, not just for our house, but for the entire school.”

“Seungmin… this… this is too much,” Haeun spoke. “Why would you even give it to me? You- you, no offense, barely know me and you wouldn’t know if I’m a great player at all- why would you do that? This… this is your most prized possession.”

“It will rot if I don’t give it to you,” Seungmin replied calmly. “I know what I’m doing and I want you to have it…” he stretched his arms towards Haeun. “So… would you please take it?”

Haeun glanced down at the well aged bat, it looked surreal in Seungmin’s hands. Haeun hesitated, biting her lower lips before reaching out to it slowly and Seungmin carefully pressed the bat into her palms. She wrapped her hands around the bat, a smile unknowingly slowly lifted her lips as she stared at the bat in awe.

“See, the bat is meant for you,” Seungmin commented with a grin. “Look at the way you’re holding it.”

“I-I” Words could not form from Haeun’s lips but she glanced up at the boy and wrapped her arms around his neck, enveloping him into a hug. It was more than words and Seungmin knew that as well when he wrapped his arms around Haeun. Haeun giggled and pulled away after a couple of seconds, still grinning from ear to ear. “I-I guess I will be using it for today’s practice! And speaking of practice, I should be leaving now. After Jeongin’s audition, it’s our turn on the fields. Thank you again Seungmin,” Haeun smiled and turned away to leave the common room.

As she started to leave, the common room doors opened again and entered a very familiar light brown haired boy. “Hey Haeun?” the boy greeted the grinning girl leaving the common room.

“Jisung, I don’t think you should be here anymore, our practice is about to start, come on, let’s go,” Haeun tugged Jisung by his messy blue robe but the latter did not budge.

“Oh wait, I need to grab something real fast. You can go first if you want,” Jisung started, starting to walk into one of the staircases that lead to his dorms.

“Nah, it’s fine. I can wait for you and ensure you’re on time,” Haeun smiled warmly as she took a seat on one of the couches in the common room.

“Yeah it’s alright!” Jisung grinned, looking back at Haeun before his eyes fell onto the familiar bat in her hands. His face fell a while before he maintained his composure. “H-hey, Seungmin? I think I have something in your chest that I need to get…”

Seungmin glared at his friend and rolled his eyes. “That’s why I kept asking you to clean your own space!” He groaned, reluctantly tailing his friend up the stairs to their room.

It was a silent two minutes walk with their footsteps echoing each steps they took but soon they reached their dorm. It was still pretty early in the day so the sun’s rays were pouring through the windows of their dormitory, emitting a warm atmosphere. Seungmin immediately headed to his truck at the foot of the bed, opening it as he looked at Jisung again.

“What did you need to get out from here? Your jacket? Your robe? Or your other robe?” Seungmin asked, observing the clutter of objects Jisung had placed in the former’s truck.

“Nothing,” Jisung said plainly as he plopped onto his bed.

“W-what?” Seungmin took a sharp inhale, glaring at his friend. “Why did we come all the way up here then?”

“The bat… why did you give Haeun the bat?” He asked, staring at the high ceilings. “I thought it had been your dream to audition for our Quidditch team. Six years have passed since we both came into the school and yet you made no effort into auditioning at all. As soon as Haeun came in, you gave her your bat? The legendary bat?? I-”

“I like her okay?” Seungmin blurted out and blushed. “W-wait, I mean, she was one of the best beaters I have ever seen so t-that’s w-why I gave it to her!”

“O-oh… you liked her?” Jisung’s voice lowered. “O-oh, that’s great! I-I….” he drifted off. “I mean what I wanted to say was that you could’ve given the bat to me!”

Seungmin gave another glare at Jisung. “Why would a chaser want a beater’s bat for?”

Jisung shrugged. “For keepsake?”

“No.”

✰

“Took you long enough, Han Jisung,” Haeun finally stood up from the couch she had been sitting on for the past 10 minutes. “Another minute longer, I would have to call a search party to find your corpse.” Jisung gave a slight smile and walked towards the door and Haeun raised her eyebrow at the awkward response from the boy before following closely. As she turned to leave, she waved at Seungmin once again. “Bye, Seungmin and thank you for your gift! You bet I’m going to guard it and take care of it with my whole life”

Seungmin gave another bright and blushing smile at her before she closed the door behind her and caught up to the other boy who had started walking away. She had noticed a change in Jisung’s actions and behaviour ever since he came into the common room. Even though it was just a slight change in behaviour, Haeun noticed it very obviously. She wanted to ask Jisung about his behaviour but she had no idea how to approach him.

“Hey… Ji?” She called out softly, making the boy halt and turn slightly as she caught up. He raised his eyebrow in response as his lips remained sealed. As Haeun made eye contact with him, she could not help but blush. This was actually the first time she had noticed Jisung so close that his features were prominent and she realised how his eyes, nose, lips… everything on his face looked flawless. Her lips parted slightly as no words came out.

“Yeah?” He asked casually, as if he did not notice how silent or flustered she was. “Haeun? You were saying?” As she did not respond quick enough, he quickly snapped his fingers at her face, bringing her back to reality.

“O-oh!” She gasped, trying to look everywhere except his eyes.

“You were saying?” He repeated again.

“Oh, it’s probably nothing…” Haeun drifted off, now staring at her feet. This made Jisung chuckle a little at her odd behaviour.

“Well, come on,” he gently wrapped his fingers around her wrist, tugging her slowly. “We’re gonna be late for our training and this time, it’s not going to be my fault.”

As Jisung’s fingers made contact with her wrist, she could swear her heart skipped a beat at that pure interaction but she tried to remain calm as they both made their way through the corridors. Jisung took constant glances at the girl he was pulling, who was still looking everywhere else other than his face and a smile perked up his face. However, it only lasted for a couple of seconds before he remembered what Seungmin said…

I like her okay? The words lingered in Jisung’s head but he was confused. Why was he affected so much from those mere words? What did it all mean? But the thoughts quickly vanished as soon as he realised that they were already at the Quidditch field and that’s when he felt a tug from Haeun pulling him with her as she led him to a bench. Maybe it was nothing, he tried to assure himself. But... was it really nothing?

✰

Andrea was chattering excitedly to Jeongin by the time Haeun and Jisung appeared next to them. The stadium was still full of students cheering on the Slytherins who were practicing at the field. Haeun could barely understand how Andrea and Jeongin could talk through the volume of the stadium when the Hufflepuff did not even notice the two Ravenclaws approaching her until Hana, who appeared out of nowhere, flicked the poor girl’s forehead, grabbing her attention immediately.

“Hey!” Andrea frowned, cutting off her conversation with Jeongin as she rubbed her forehead, pouting. “Hana… where were you?”

“Hana was gone?” Haeun raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. “I thought she was here with you this entire time?”

“Apparently, Andrea thought it was a good idea to disappear into the crowd, leaving me alone…” Hana drifted off, rolling her eyes.

“Hey! I thought you could catch up! You always do!” Andrea pouted and glanced at Jeongin when a big smile overcame her face. “But guess what!!!”

“What?” Haeun was suddenly grinning as well as Jeongin’s smile lit up.

“I got into the team!” Jeongin exclaimed, who was immediately enveloped in a hug by Haeun who almost knocked the Hufflepuff boy down if it had not been Jisung who grabbed Haeun before she could do any more damage. “Woah there!” Jeongin gasped as Haeun pulled away. “You almost knocked out a new member of the Hufflepuff’s Quidditch team!”

“Oh, I’m sorry Mr...Seeker,” Haeun winked, earning another smile from Jeongin.

“And I see suddenly everyone forgot I ever existed,” Hana sighed dramatically.

“Well, I- I mean, we could see that you were quite busy yourself,” Haeun responded with a smirk as she leaned closer to Jisung. “Am I right?”

“I see a rather hot Slytherin beater is looking in our direction right now. I wonder if it’s to any one of us,” Jisung added in the same flirty tone as Haeun before the two of them broke out in giggles.

“Wha- he is?” Hana’s eyes widened as she whipped her head at the Quidditch field before back at her friends when the laughs of Haeun and Jisung increased.

“She fell for it!” Haeun exclaimed.

“Wait! T-that means… Hana does have things for that boy!” Jisung added.

“He’s not here by the way, if that was what you were wondering,” Andrea chirped on calmly.

Hana’s face flushed bright red. “Then ho-”

“Darling, we don’t need to use Hwang Hyunjin here to tell who has kept you company. Just look at the girls staring daggers at you now!” Haeun explained. “Who else would literally kill you with those looks if you weren’t with Hwang Hyunjin?”

“Then, they should…” she glared at the nearest group of girls. “Mind their own business.” With that, the girls who were staring at Hana quickly looked away, blushing as if they had been caught in a crime.

“You go girl!” Jeongin chirped, earning an eye roll from the Slytherin and more giggles from their friends.

✰

At the same time, Yoonmi was lying on her bed, glancing dreamlessly at the high ceiling above her. She was supposed to go to Jeongin’s audition but she felt no strength at all to do so. She felt empty but was also flumed with anger. At who? It just had to be at him… he just had to make her life so miserable. She finally burst after her encounter with Minho when Hana interrupted them. Hana… Park Hana actually refuses to interact with Minho and his pranks, and it all clicked for her. She could refuse.

“Stop!” She snapped at Minho. “All these pranks have to stop. I don’t like them and I absolutely despise them so stop will you?” She remembered what she had said to the Slytherin. Her heart beat faster and faster as more words came out of her lips. She shook her head right as the echoes of the bell were heard and groaned. “What the hell do you want, Lee Minho?” She asked before heading to her common room to exit to the dining hall.

She was so annoyed that she did not notice her surroundings at all and her foot made contact with another person who apparently sat on the floor instead of the many sofas and chairs available. She let out a big gasp as she stumbled, nearly tripping if Felix had not caught her.

“Woah!” Felix gasped as his grip tightened on Yoonmi’s wrists, preventing her from falling down. “Are you alright??”

“Felix?” Yoonmi’s eyes widen. “Why on earth were you on the floor? There are so many chairs-”

“Oh no… Chan was right, I shouldn’t have sat on the floor,” Felix sighed. “And your kick was pretty hard on my back.”

“Oh! Are you okay?” Yoonmi realising what she had done before falling and immediately tried to help Felix as soon as she stabilized herself. “What on earth were you betting on anyways? Whether it was a good idea to sit on the ground?”

“You’re not wrong, you know that,” Felix nodded his head in agreement. “We roughly talked about that but mostly, I was doing Transfiguration homework… and I kind of suck at Transfiguration so I took a break on the floor. If I do not finish this, I can’t participate in the Frog Choir and YEET here,” and as if it was on cue, YEET, Felix’s toad, jumped onto Felix’s head, “will be sad and Seungmin will really kill me if I miss another Quidditch match because he wouldn’t have a partner.”

“Well, I can’t help you with Transfiguration but I’m sure… Haeun might be able to help you with that,” Yoonmi offered. “I can help ask her but for now, please just rest for a while. Let your brain breathe. From the looks of your expression, you have been going strong for at least 5 minutes, and it dragged onto 3 hours… and your brain is fried.”

“Oh my… is it that obvious?” Felix asked.

Yoonmi chuckled in response. “No, I was kidding but really, do take a break. It’s dinner time now so I think you should head down to feed your brain.”

He let out a huge sigh and nodded his head. “Y-yeah, you’re right. Jeongin will probably kill me if I skip dinner just for Transfiguration…” he drifted off as he started gathering all the books that were scattered across the floor. It was a wonder how Yoonmi had not noticed the boy was sitting on the floor.

“Not only Jeongin, Felix, all of us will kill you if you skip dinner for Transfiguration,” Yoonmi corrected him and waved at him. “Alright then, I shall see later.” And with that, she headed out of the door.

It took her no more than 3 steps before stopping again out of the Gryffindor’s common room. This time, the person who had made her stop surprised Yoonmi but a scowl immediately formed on her face.

“What is it this time, Minho?” She asked coldly, trying to sound emotionless but she was doing a pretty bad job trying to hide her annoyance. “Did anything I said even mean anything- oh wait, I remembered. To Lee Minho, it does not.” Before Minho could say anything, she glance away and continued to walk away only to be blocked by Minho again.

“Wait,” he began.

Yoonmi could not help but pause for a moment. His voice really sounded different. Instead of the usual cockiness, it was distorted and trembling. “What do you want?” She asked, finally looking up at Minho. She was surprised. He really looked a lot different in comparison to the previous few hours when she had last interacted with him. “W-what’s wrong with you? What happened?”

“Nothing… I-” Minho dodged her eye contact but he was never able to complete his sentence.

“There you are, Yoonmi!” The familiar voice of Haeun could be heard, echoing through the corridors. Following her were her other two friends, Jeongin and Jisung. Haeun grabbed Yoonmi’s arm before realising who her friend had been talking to. A frown immediately formed as she tugged Yoonmi away. “Come on…” she muttered. “We have other places to be.”

Hana lagged behind the rest of the group, staring at Minho who had followed Yoonmi with his eyes before staring at the wall just before she had disappeared from his view. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, buddy. You know Haeun,” she said before following the rest of her friends.

CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 8 | CHAPTER 9

#stray kids #stray kids hogwarts #stray kids hogwarts au #hogwarts #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #jisung #felix #seungmin #jeongin

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naly1109 · 4 years

Text

Your Lovely Wicked Soul

ASummary: Witch au, Reader X Bang Chan feat. Stray Kids (Narrator's POV)

Summary: Y/N is well known and beloved amongst the people of her home village. Being a powerful Witch, she helps the people using her Gifts to increase crops, heal the sick, and protect the townsfolk and other favors. When her Grandfather sends her away to save her from the misfortune of becoming the awful King’s bride, he sends her across worlds into the hands of a man bearing an uncanny resemblance to the tyrant King.

~Chapter 2~

After what felt like hours of the guys trying to choose a place to order from and then picking what each member wanted to eat, then deciding who was going to go get it, Chan, Changbin, and Minho had finally come back with the greatly anticipated food. Y/N has never, in her whole life, seen or smelled food like this. She always wanted to travel to try the different foods around the world, but she always took on more responsibilities in the village that kept her there.

“Looks delicious, right Noona?” Felix says when he sees how Y/N is eyeing the grilled barbeque pork. Y/N gives him a sheepish smile as he puts some on a small plate and hands it to her, along with a set of metal chopsticks.

Y/N looks at the two sticks that were handed to her with confusion and looks up at the guys, all of them using the odd metal sticks to eat the food displayed in front of them. She attempts to copy the movement of the boys to eat the food Felix served to her. When the pork slips from between the chopstick for a third time, Y/N grunts in frustration and gives up.

“It's easy once you get the hang of it. Here. Let me show you.” Hyunjin says as he reaches for Y/N’s chopsticks to show her how to hold them. Y/N attempts again and fails. She grips the chopsticks with both hands in frustration. Hyunjin laughs and offers to try showing her again.

“No. I got it.” Y/N says as she runs her hands over the sticks, casting a Spell to turn the metal chopsticks into utensils she knows how to use. The metal begins to morph and bend, lightly groaning from being bent out of their original shape. Once she finishes, she has what resembles a three pronged fork. Y/N smiles at herself and then begins eating, ignoring the looks of the men looking at her in amazement.

“That will never get old.” Jisung says with rice shoved into his cheeks. He quickly swallows and asks, “So can everyone where you’re from do magic?”

There’s that word again. “Magic?” Y/N asks the boy.

“You know. What you do. With the hand waving and the lights and stuff?” Jisung explains, waving his arms around in an attempt to mimic Y/N’s movements from earlier.

“I don’t know what ‘magic’ is, but I don’t do it. We have Gifts that allow us to cast Spells.” Y/N clarifies. “And no. Only a small population of the people from my home has a Gift.”

Changbin is next to speak out, “So how does it work? Your Gifts? Can everyone do the same things? Is there a school like in ‘Harry Potter’ you have to attend to learn Spells?”

Y/N inhales, trying to keep up with the questions coming from Changbin. “Not everyone’s gifts are the same. Every Witch is born with a Gift that reveals itself on their first birthday. A Witch’s Gift can fall under many different types. There are four main types of categories, and many subtypes that branch from those four main types.”

“Let me guess. Are those four main types earth, water, fire, and air?” Felix laughs at his own joke.

Y/N raises a delicate eyebrow at him and answers, “No. The four main types of Gifts are Seer, Prosperer, Alchemyst, and Natures. So a Witch’s Gift will always be a subtype of one of these four. So a Witch with a Seer Gift may have Foresight or Mindeye. Prosper Gifted Witches can bring upon prosperity for a many number of things from wealth, to fertility, even with hunting game. Natures Gifted Witches may have the capability to speak to animals or make plants grow or control weather within a specific area. Alchemyst Gifts are not as common as the other three. Alchemyst Gifts can pretty much make an object with another object, much like I did with your odd metal sticks.”

“So you’re an Alchemyst Gifted Witch then?” Jeongin asks.

Y/N shakes her head at his question. “I am a Natures Gifted Witch. All Witches have the capability to use Spells from other Gift types, though they won't be as strong as when casted by a Witch possessing a Gift from that type. Some can also use a combination of Gifts to complete Spells. For example, when I immobilized all of you by levitating you in the air, I was using a combination of Natures Gift and Alchemyst Gift Spells. Not very many Witches can use a combination of Gifts to cast Spells. Only a few amongst our kind can.”

“So then that makes you an impressive Witch.” Felix states, feeling a little pride that his newest friend’s accomplishments.

Y/N nods her head. “Yes it does. I am the youngest Witch to have ever mastered 50 or more Gift combination Spells, having accomplished the feat when I was only 14 years old.” Y/N states feeling renewed pride for herself. “Most Witches who have mastered that many Gift combination Spells don't do so until they are well into their thirties.”

"How did you manage to learn so much so young? Did you not have a life?" Hyunjin asks, then regrets his words when Y/N's face falls.

"My Grandfather made me train really hard my whole life. He always told me I would one day be the greatest Witch, one who will bring upon a massive change to the world.” Y/N explains, tearing up as she recalls things about her Grandfather, like how he smelled, the way he talked, the way his eyes wrinkled when he smiled, and his laugh, she missed the sound of his laugh the most. Stars! Y/N would give anything to have her Gaba here with her now. “Gaba would have loved to have met you all.” a few tears gently falling down her cheeks and ehw quickly wipes them away. “He was killed right before I was pulled through that Spell hole.” Silence fills the room as the atmosphere grows heavy.

“What about your parents?” Chan asks, finally speaking up after watching everyone else participate in the conversation for a while. Y/N looks at him for the length of time it takes him to take a breath.

Y/N wipes away a few more tears that managed to fall. “They died on my first birthday. So I didn’t get the chance to really know them.” Y/N states matter-of-factly, looking down at the barbequed pork on her plate.

“I’m sorry.” Chan says quietly to her.

“Why? You are not the cause of their fate.” She responds, not understanding why he should feel apologetic at all.

Chan shakes his head with a small smile. “It’s another way of saying my condolences. A way to show that I sympathize with you.”

Y/N doesn’t know why, but her heart swells at his words. She still can’t look at him for too long, for he brings back the memories of Gaba’s death, but she feels an odd attachment to him. She feels drawn to him, as though he is not a stranger, but a lost friend that she’s been searching for unknowingly.

“Oh. Well, thank you. I appreciate that.” She says, finally locking eyes with Chan for longer than just a moment. They both feel a force pulling them towards each other, almost like metal to magnet. Then Y/N forces herself to look away. “Gaba told me a lot about them. I’m sure I would have been proud to be their daughter. They were powerful, well known Witches. They worked in the Witch Society under the rule of the previous King, back when it was honorable to be a Member of the Society. Now they’re just a bunch of cowards who do the crooked King’s bidding, hurting the people, the heart, of the Kingdom.”

“You feel really strongly about this Witches Social and their King, don’t you?” Felix asks with rice stuck to his chin, and Changbin reaches over to clean it off, “Thank you, Hyung.”

“Witch Society. And yes. That is my home, my people. I have to get back and do something about the current order of things before Talmas destroys our home.” Y/N states with new found determination. As soon as she is alone, she plans to study the Grimoire Gaba entrusted to her in hopes of finding the Spell to send her back.

“The people sure are lucky to have you to save them.” Jeongin says with a smile.

“So… about your eyes.” Jisung asks with burning curiosity, “Do all Witches have the same eyes?”

“No. Mine are the only eyes to have this odd color. Gaba told me that, when I was born, many Witches came to see me, even the King made it to see me while my mother recovered. The occasion made all the more eventful because both my parents were Witches, which is rare.” She pauses to take a drink of the banana’s milk Jisung served her, she doesn't know how one milks a banana, but she is glad for whoever discovered it. “Witches do have different colored eyes from regular humans. Humans have regular brown or blue eyes, but Witches’ eye colors come in different shades of blues, reds, greens, violets, pinks, and so on. And a Witch’s eye color will almost always be a similar shade of color that the Witch parent has.”

“Why do you say it's rare that both your parents are Witches?” Jisung probes further.

“Male Witches are a rarity, and when they marry a female Witch, they will always have a girl. So many choose to marry a human to increase their chances of a son, and they are oftentimes non-Gifted. My paternal grandmother was human. Gaba bought her a whole farm when she gave birth to my father, then proceeded to buy her several horses when he realized his son was a Witch. My Grandmother made him return all of the horses the next day!” Y/N softly giggles as she remembers Gaba’s face each time he told the story to her. He was upset that she didn’t want to keep the horses.

Chan finds himself mesmerized by the sound of Y/N’s laugh. It sounds like a melody being written just for him and he wants to hear more of it. And the sight of her lit up face makes a smile spread across his face. He thinks it would be extremely rewarding to be the one to make her laugh, and he hopes that, one day soon, he can hear her truly laugh.

“Do all of the people of this world have eyes like Obsidian stone?” Y/N asks, noticing the guys all have very similar dark eyes as Chan. “I have never seen eyes that dark in color.”

“Here in our country, the majority of people do have dark eyes similar to our own.” Seungmin answers. “But we are just a country in this big world. There are many different types of people in the world with different eye colors. None like from your world, but different colors of brown, blue and green are the most common, and sometimes a combination of those colors.”

Y/N ponders that response for a moment while she chews on her pork and rice grains. “That’s very interesting.” she states simply.

After everyone finishes eating, they start moving Seungmin’s and Felix’s things from their room and into the room with the spare beds. Everyone talks and jokes amicably while making games out of moving the stuff from one room to the other to make the task more fun and pass more quickly. Y/N finds herself enjoying passing time with the boys as they play and tease each other, while Chan finds himself staring at Y/N each time she giggles or speaks. Once they finish moving everything, they all sprawl out in the living room.

"There you go, Y/N. Now you have a place to sleep and keep your stuff." Seungmin says.

"Um, Seungmin. Y/N doesn't have anything. Or did you forget that she came to us unexpectedly from another world through a hole in our ceiling?" Hyunjin says in a slight teasing tone to the younger man.

"We can go shopping tomorrow for some of the necessities for her. Or did you forget that she has wants and needs just like any other human?" Seungmin counters. "Or non-human." He adds as an afterthought.

Y/N speaks out before the boys get too into their debate. “I have some items I brought from home here in my Cloak.” Y/N walks over to where she had placed her Cloak and picks it up, noticing the food stains. She gently shakes it out, all the stains on it from the first dinner disappearing off her Cloak the way they had the floor and sofa. Then she lays it down on the floor and waves her hands over it to activate the Storage Spell of the Cloak.

Once again, the boys all gather to watch in astonishment at what the Witch from a foreign world can do as she begins to pull things out of her Cloak, starting with Lessio’s Grimoire. The Cloak looks normal, but when Y/N puts her hand to it, it goes through and she pulls out another item from the unknown space of the Cloak.

“So, whatcha got there, Y/N?” Felix asks, not recognizing some of the items.

Y/N begins to hold up items and explains, “These are some herbs that I had planned to use to make medicine for Old Man Jowsin’s back. This is an ointment I made to help disinfect and decrease the healing time of any abrasions.” She holds up a small crystal jar full of light blue paste. She continues to pull out a sketch pad, several pencils, a brush, and a hat. “A change of clothes because you never know what may happen.” she says pulling out lady pants and a blouse.

“Can’t you just make new clothes out of thin air if something happens?” Minho asks.

“I could, but using Spells for everything gets exhausting. It's nice to do things like a normal human too.” She defends.

“But normal humans don’t have capes with Spells cast on them to hold their stuff.” he counters.

Y/N is miffed at Minho’s statement. ‘Do humans here really not have any Gifts or other powers?’ she thinks as she looks around. “You must have your own capabilities if you are able to get people into these compact boxes. Or to have your home illuminated so late at night without the use of flame.” she points out.

“Late?” Chan says, looking at the time. His eyes go wide when he sees that it is nearly 2AM. “Guys, we have to be up in a few hours to make it in time for our shoot at nine.” he informs the group. Now that everyone is aware of the time, they start to feel the exhaustion from the last several hours settle into their bodies. “How about we continue our conversation with Y/N after we all get some sleep, yeah?”

Everyone nods in agreement, some yawns coming from a few of the boys. They all start to head to their rooms, and Chan heads to the linen closet to get some fresh blankets for Y/N.

“Here. Some fresh linen so you can change out Seungmin’s used ones.” he hands her the bundle of blankets.

“Why so many bed cloths?” she asks, looking at the blankets in awe. She’s never seen blankets dyed with so many intricate designs in it.

“Bed cloths.” Chan repeats, finding her terminology cute. “Let me help you get it set up.” he grabs the blankets from her and leads her to the room. Once inside, he puts the blankets down on the desk and starts to remove the blankets from the bottom bunk. Y/N watches him as he is removing the blankets, his arms bare and on display, showing his veins and how his muscles move under his fair skin. Y/N doesn’t realize she’s staring until Chan stands and asks her to hand him the blankets.

It takes Y/N a quick moment to register what he was asking for, “Oh.” she blinks and turns to grab the blankets and hand them to Chan. She silently finishes watching him put the fresh blankets on the bed. “Thank you for your help.” she says when he stands, not looking at him.

An audible sigh leaves Chan’s lips. “Why don’t you look at me, Y/N? When you do, you turn away as fast as possible.” he questions her. “Is it because I look like your King?” He takes her silence as confirmation. “You know I’m not him, right?” he asks her.

“Of course I know you are not him.” Y/N softly answers. “But it is hard to look at you because you bear resemblance to the man who is responsible for my Grandfather’s death. And although I don’t blame you, I can’t help but see his face adorned with a smirk as he ordered his guard to shoot Gaba down.” Y/N swallows hard, fighting back the tears that, once again, threatened to fall. “I also blame myself for not being strong enough to break Gaba’s Spell to save him.” Tears are now free falling off her cheeks as she cries in grief for her Grandfather for the first time.

Chan can’t help but embrace her small, trembling form as she sobs into his chest, tears staining his sleeveless tee-shirt. He stands there with Y/N for several minutes while she cries, offering soft, comforting words here and there. When Y/N finally calms down, Chan releases her but keeps his hands on her shoulders.

“I don’t know everything that happened, but according to your Cat, your Grandfather did what he thought was right for you, to protect you. How do you know that awful King wouldn’t have killed your Grandfather anyway? Or kept him locked up to keep you in line? Maybe your Grandfather knew there would be no other option but to send you here. So you shouldn’t blame yourself, because I would like to believe that he doesn’t.”

At his words, Y/N eyes move up from Chan’s chest to his face and stay there. “Thank you.” she says, then huffs at herself. “I sure am thanking you a lot this day, am I?”

“Hey, anytime.” Chan says, giving Y/N a toothy smile. Y/N is taken aback by how attractive his smile is, and warm in comparison to the King. She thinks she would like to see that smile more often. “And I will make it so you can look at me without seeing or comparing me to your King” Chan promises, as though he had just read Y/N’s mind.

“He is not my King.” is all Y/N can say as her heart flutters in her chest at his promise, and Chan gives her another small smile as they say their goodnights.

Chan walks into the room he shares with Minho, who is still awake. “Did you kiss her?” he asks, startling Chan.

“AH! Wha-! No! It’s not like that. I don’t even know her.” Chan answers, feeling flustered under the younger man’s scrutinizing gaze. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Uh-huh.” Minho ignores the older’s question, “I saw the way you were looking at her practically the whole night. At one point, I thought you would devour her right there in front of everyone.”

Chan flushed at Minho’s words. “Hey! I already said it’s not like that!” Throwing himself face down onto his bed. He rolls over to face Minho, “I mean, yeah, she’s beautiful, beyond stunning actually, but I don’t know her like that. Besides, she can’t even look at me fully.” Chan says. He thinks about how he had embraced her back in the other room. It wasn’t romantic, but it made Chan feel like he was complete, like she was the missing piece he didn’t know he needed. He still couldn’t explain it but the strange, magnetic pull he feels towards her when he is around her makes him smile.

“Well, that doesn’t stop you from thinking your lustful thoughts though, does it?” Minho says as he situates himself into bed for the night. “What were you doing in there with her that took so long if you weren’t locking lips?”

The older man throws a pillow at the younger man. “I was comforting her, pervert. She’s upset about losing her Grandfather and home all in one day, and she finally allowed it all out while I was in there.”

Minho is silent for a moment. “But you do like her. Right?”

Chan sighs, he knows Minho won’t let it go until he gets an answer. “I could definitely see why anyone would like her, but it's too soon to tell if I like her like that or not. I’m tired so goodnight.” Chan says, shutting down the conversation for the night.

Y/N is finishing setting up the personal items she had in her Cloak, taking a moment to look into the embroidered, crystal mirror her Grandfather gave her Grandmother as a marriage proposal gift. The mirror is her most prized possession, being the only heirloom she carried with her in the Cloak.

Y/N is feeling tired, but fights sleep. She wants to start looking into how to get home as soon as possible. She opens Lessio’s Grimoire and an envelope slips out from under the cover and glides to the floor without her notice.

After almost an hour of looking through the seemingly never ending pages and not finding anything, Y/N starts to feel her eyes heavy from sleep. Nolai meows at her, an indication that he thinks she should go to bed.

“So now you want to stop using your voice to reprimand me.” She says to Nolai, recalling how he shouted at her and told her she was being ridiculous. “I know I have to go to bed, Nolai, but I need to figure out how to get us home. I don’t feel comfortable here in this world.”

“Are you sure it’s the world you’re uncomfortable with?” Nolai asks, his voice laced with implications. “Or is it the handsome stranger with the familiar face?”

Y/N turns abruptly in her seat to look at the Cat Dhornna with an astonished look. “Can you go back to not talking?” she says, feeling herself grow uneasy at the truth of the Cat’s words. “You go to bed if you’re tired.”

“I can feel what you feel, Y/N. I know you hate the King, but you also feel yourself drawn to Chan.” Y/N tries to ignore him as he continues to speak. “I also noticed how he looked at you. Like he would move mountain rock for you.”

Y/N sighs and looks at her annoying Cat, trying to ignore the light jumps her heart was doing at the thought. ‘What’s wrong with me? I don’t even know him.’ she thinks to herself. She recalls the embrace she shared with him while he comforted her. It was by no means romantic, but it made her feel complete, like he was the missing constellation to her Star filled night.

“If I go to bed, will you stop talking?” Y/N asks Nolai.

“Maybe. Or maybe I might continue because I’m right.” he says, his usual gleam in his eyes.

Rolls her eyes at the Cat and gets up to go to bed. As she walks towards the bed, her foot slips on the carpet. She looks down to see she’s stepping on the envelope that wasn’t there before, and lifts her foot to pick it up.

Seeing that her name is written in her Grandfather’s handwriting on the envelope, she takes it to the bed with her to read it, tears already brimming her eyes for the fourth time today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hello everyone! I’m so sorry I am posting a day late, with 4th of July and my brother’s birthday, it has been a hectic weekend. I am having so much fun writing this, and I hope you are all having fun reading! I promise to keep posting every Saturday! LYASM! And thank you!

#witch au #fanfic #stray kids #skz #bang chan #seo changbin #Lee Minho #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim Seungmin #yang jeongin #kpop

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lakersworld · 5 years

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‘My beloved Kobe’: Lower Merion coach Gregg Downer pens essay on Kobe Bryant’s passing.⁣

⁣

My favorite sports moments came during the 20 years of soaking up every second of my idol’s — my hero’s — Lakers career. My beloved Kobe Bryant.⁣

⁣For two decades, I kept West Coast time as Kobe ascended to greatness and perfected what he’d started at Lower Merion. I learned to get by on five hours of sleep while Kobe became the greatest champion and most feared competitor of his generation.⁣

⁣I saw Kobe’s air balls in Utah, his buzzer-beaters, his 81-point game, the rings and near misses. I witnessed his absolute greatness as a player. And I did so with immense pride, recalling the journey we took together to win a state title in Lower Merion, a journey in which he taught me how to win and pushed me to be the best coach I could be.⁣

⁣When asked by some stray reporter for the 50th time if I would ever have another Kobe Bryant, the answer was simple, and it will always be the same: absolutely no way.⁣

The moments we spent together were even more special. I shot free throws with him at the old Forum before practices. I swam and ate a few meals with him at his house overlooking the Pacific. I traveled to games all over the country, including the Finals series against Indiana, Orlando, Boston, and, of course, Philly. We exchanged e-mails about strategy. I worked his basketball camps. I introduced him annually to current Aces players.⁣

⁣And in a private moment, deep in the halls of Lower Merion High School, he became one of the first to know a dream of mine was about to come true. My beautiful wife, Colleen, was pregnant. We stopped in front of Room 225 for an embrace I will never forget. He was so happy for me. And I was so happy he was there.⁣

My father died, at 89, last fall. He also watched 20 years of Kobe’s play — 24, if you include high school — and it helped strengthen the bond between us. Dad would tape the late games and watch them in the morning. If we felt Kobe had an off night, we simply erased the DVR.⁣

Every morning, when I called my dad, most conversations would start with "Did you see what Kobe did last night?” I can’t imagine Dad’s shock when Kobe entered heaven on Jan. 26. I hope they are buddies and watching old game tapes together.⁣

The memorial at Staples was a Mount Rushmore of basketball experiences. If the premise had been different, if the celebration had been for lives present instead of lives past, it would have been the pinnacle of my career.⁣

⁣I’d been looking forward to that moment at next summer’s Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame induction. It would have been a joyous reunion and the moment of a basketball lifetime for a scrawny kid from Media, Pa., who never could have imagined he’d one day coach the NBA’s biggest and brightest star.⁣

⁣At the memorial ceremony, I hugged Kobe’s sisters and parents tight, and the tears never stopped. Vanessa’s speech was one of courage, resilience, and leadership. Although I don’t know her, I was so proud of her. Kobe would have loved her toughness and resolve and would have demanded she fight on for their three other daughters.⁣

With the world hanging on her every word, Vanessa gave a beautiful, intimate remembrance of Kobe and Gianna. Diana Taurasi and Sabrina Ionescu symbolized Kobe’s immense pride and passion in being a #girldad and made it clear that Gianna was developing into another Mamba. They thought that she would one day be in the WNBA. This was not idle speculation. Gianna could have been whatever she wanted to be and had the perfect father to guide her dreams.⁣

⁣I knew before many that Kobe’s real dream was to be the next Michael Jordan. We talked about it often as he developed from age 13 to 17, and you could clearly see it in his mannerisms, his imitations. Michael was a huge part of his identity.⁣

Jordan’s speech was iconic, just like the man himself. With tears pouring down his face, the ever-so-stoic and prideful Jordan — he of the six championship rings Kobe so relentlessly chased — acknowledged that Kobe was his little brother and that Kobe was an amazing player. Kobe had to have been smiling ear to ear from the heavens as his hero validated his greatness and gave him his due. I hope Kobe and Gianna shared that incredible moment.⁣

Most have no idea the work that went into Kobe’s chase of Michael’s acceptance and full respect. And I’m sure Kobe still wants M.J. one-on-one when he eventually joins him in heaven. Michael had better remember to bring his sneakers.⁣

The speeches have ended, but for me the essential question still remains: How do I move forward from this horrific tragedy? I am a teacher, coach, father, and husband. I, like many, am not sure I have the answers right now.⁣

Memories and flashbacks are everywhere at Lower Merion. Ten months each year, six days a week, I coach in the gym Kobe built. He can pop into my head at any moment. One morning, I spontaneously dropped and did 24 push ups for no apparent reason.⁣

Kobe needs his high school coach to be strong. My current players need it. My students need it. I need to continue to affect players and students in a positive way, as I’ve been trying my best to do for 30 years. Kobe needs me to stand tall and sharpen my resolve. The ceremony helped, but I miss my hero immensely.⁣

⁣I have a beautiful 7-year old daughter named Brynn Riley. She is my pride and joy. Every time Kobe saw her, he picked her up and hugged her tight. We smiled ear to ear, as did Brynn. He held her like his own.⁣

The “girl dad” movement Kobe ignited is something that now feels tangible to me. Maybe that’s the lasting connection to Kobe I need. Brynn comes to my games. She alternates between cheerleading and actually helping coach the team. She brings a clipboard. She comes to the film studies and all the pep talks. Her favorite activity after big wins is soaking her dad with water during locker-room parties. She recently made her first basket on a 10-foot hoop and completed two weeks of my summer basketball camp without complaint.⁣

We swim together, have sleepovers by the fireplace, do gymnastics, soccer, and baseball together. And recently, our favorite activity is our own version of backyard NFL football: Eagles vs. Patriots. Much to our delight, the Eagles always win, even if her extra points are a little low off the back fence. We laugh together and cry together through all aspects of life.⁣

⁣Like any parent, I want Brynn to have a great, successful, healthy life. She can be whatever she wants to be, and I want more than anything else to be the girl dad who helps and guides her through the good and bad. Kobe’s love for his girls, his legacy as a father, strengthens me. The bond we shared in raising our daughters is the greatest gift of our relationship. It’s what inspires me most.⁣

My players know I like to choose short phrases and collections of words to motivate and guide us during the season. I am going to focus on three words for my own motivation and peace of mind: courage, resilience, and love. Coaches need a game plan. For the first time since Jan. 26, I feel I have one.⁣

⁣

Gregg Downer as told to Mike Sielski | via Inquirer ⁣

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⁣

#lakers #losangeleslakers #lakernation #lakeshow #kobe #purpleandgold #blackmamba #kobebryant #nba #lakersworld16

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lovelockloki · 4 years

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Flowers For Grief And Mourning

The death of a friend or family member can be a particularly troublesome and disordered time. Passing is regularly unforeseen and accompanies the occasionally requesting stray pieces of arranging the burial service or potentially sending the correct flower plans.

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With regards to sending flowers to a burial service, such a large number of stall out on what to send, when to send it and where? Here are a couple of things you have to consider when sending flowers to the memorial service of a friend or family member:

1. See whether the perished is male, female, grown-up or a kid. You need to ensure your flower courses of action are sexual orientation and age suitable. For instance, it might be a genuine socially awkward act to send a splash of pink flowers to the burial service of a man.

2. Discover of if the burial service will be open or shut coffin. On the off chance that there is an open coffin you might need to send a coffin cover that covers just half or the coffin. However, on the off chance that it is a shut coffin memorial service, you'll be in an ideal situation sending a full coffin cover.

3. Probably the greatest issue for individuals searching for flowers after the demise of a friend or family member is the subject of which plans are suitable. A great many people haven't went to "parcels" of burial services so they may not know what to send. The following are some conventional courses of action:

o Standing showers; flowers organized on an easel and set before the perished's coffin.

o Live plants; generally harmony lilies.

o Fireside bins of fresh cut flowers.

o A container of cut flowers.

Talk about with your florist what kind of flowers (occasional, assortment and so forth.) is proper for your cherished one. The florist is typically exceptionally accommodating and has delivered flowers to numerous memorial services.

4. Call the burial service home and affirm their location, appearance hours and their delivery rules. Have your flowers delivered on the day of appearance and before survey hours start.

5. When sending your flowers make certain to incorporate a card and in case you're speechless, here are a couple of expressions that are totally adequate and normally utilized:

o "With Deepest Sympathy"

o "Our Deepest Condolences"

o "Our Thoughts And Prayers Are With You"

o "In Loving Memory"

Furthermore, remember your mark and address on the card, which will make it simpler for those in mourning to acknowledge your gift with a card to say thanks or card.

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kalynnternet · 4 years

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How I became Agnostic

This post is a sort of silent play/series of movie screen captures that detail the how, why, and when of my becoming an agnostic. I’m sharing in hopes of expanding the amount of personal experiences told by the agnostic community, since there are many ways one can be agnostic and believing only one narrative is limiting.

ACT I : Childhood Existentialism

My name is Kalynn and through the next 20-ish photos of my poorly-cropped self, I hope to provide an interesting take on my agnostic origin story.

I was raised by a conservative Christian mother and my very-opposite-of-that father:

I grew up hearing about Jesus and God and was very sheltered from any religion outside of Christianity. As a kid, it was just basic knowledge that God created the Universe. I didn’t know anything outside of Christianity, and I remember being confused when I found out people did things against God’s rules or when someone casually stated that they didn’t believe in God.

But my pure relationship with Jesus would soon be tainted by my family’s and church community’s stories about Hell... The idea of eternal punishment suffered by non-believers was and sometimes still is one of my greatest fears.

Thinking back on it, this was a pretty intense conversation topic to be discussing with a 7-year-old. My experience with religion then on was weighed down by worries of not doing enough or not believing enough.

I was sort of just going through the motions of religion, getting saved and baptized because I thought that would protect me from infinite torture. Passion for the faith and love for a celestial being took a back seat, my fear overriding any actual feelings of belief in the religion. Looking back, I can see that I didn’t truly have faith in the way my family wanted me to even before I was exposed to the “secular world.”

I had a nice childhood, but the threat of going to Hell always loomed in the distance. I thought about death more than a child probably should, keeping tallies of sins and figuring out ways I could possibly rectify them. It was my main source of anxiety for most of my young life and I struggled for a long time...

ACT II : The Influenced Middle Schooler

Among the bustling chaos of middle school life was where I really began to “stray from God’s light,” one might say.

I think one of my biggest influences came from the music I started listening to. I look back fondly on my days of sneaking into my mom’s computer room and listening to “Slut Like You” by P!nk and, as pictured below, “Va Va Voom” by Nicki Minaj (a song about seducing a taken man).

Songs like these helped to desensitize me to “immoral” lyrics, cuss words, and using God’s name in vain. After a while these things became casual parts of conversation around friends. Once my rhetoric evolved to include these sayings, my relationship with Christianity as I was raised to believe it started to weaken.

And then, I developed my first crush on a girl.

WOO did this put a dent in my standing with Christianity. This crush was on one of my friends “Kasey,” and it ended up causing problems in our relationship because I started acting weird around her and tried to avoid her (I was told all my life that homosexuality was an instant ticket to Hell, no way was I going to willingly explore my feelings).

I think one of my aunts started to suspect I was “going down the wrong path,” so she gifted me Christian “help” books such as the one above (Lies Young Women Believe). I remember skipping to sections dealing with homosexuality and reading the advice given there, but it only managed to make me feel guilty instead of curing any gayness (surprise surprise). As I feel is the case with many ex-Christians, conservative Christian views on homosexuality is one of the biggest reasons I dropped out of the faith. Its views about women was also a big “yikes” moment for me, even when I was still figuring out what “feminism” meant.

Middle school was also when I heard the term “agnostic” for the first time.

My friend Drake and I were having one of our scheduled existential school bus talks when he mentioned that I might be “agnostic” since I knew I wasn’t an atheist but I also didn’t feel like “religious” or even “spiritual” applied to me anymore.

After talking more in depth about what the term meant and researching a little on it, I decided I would adopt the term for myself.

ACT III : Optimistically Agnostic

As I move along my academic journey, I have solidified my position as an agnostic even more in present time.

Education has been probably the biggest factor in my becoming an agnostic. Learning about how much our society has been dampened by patriarchy and white supremacy and whatever else really opens your eyes and makes you view structures you thought you knew differently.

Going to college has presented me with all kinds of new experiences as well, and I’ve learned that “White Christian America” isn’t all there is. There are so many ways of understanding, especially when it comes to religiosity, that I find it impossible to say one is better than another. Who am I to tell you that your religion is false?

However...

Although I have just described my reasons for falling out of religion, I want to clarify that I don’t think faith is stupid, pointless, or bad.

There are plenty of upsides to it that recently I have been more open to experiencing. I realize now that the problems I had/have with religion come from others’ interpretations of it.

There’s a quote from the legendary Carrie Fisher that goes as such:

“I love the idea of God, but it’s not stylistically in keeping with the way I function. I would describe myself as an enthusiastic agnostic who would be happy to be shown that there is a God. I can see that people who believe in God are happier... But I doubt.”

As usual, Carrie Fisher has elegantly put into words what I feel.

I’ve grown to be comfortable in the “agnostic” label and now I feel like re-exploring feelings of spirituality. I’m still valid as an agnostic when I do this. In fact, you can be agnostic and also part of a religion if you feel like it; agnosticism is defined as admitting you don’t/can’t know what happens in the afterlife, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hope for something or feel like there is something after death. Likewise, you could also be an agnostic atheist if that fits you better.

There is a lot of discourse surrounding agnosticism, including people arguing if it’s even an actual thing, what constitutes a person being agnostic, whether it’s just a placeholder, etc. Some people consider it to be an intellectual endeavor; by stating the fact that no one can actually say what happens after death, no one can prove or disprove any religion. Others see it as a humanist approach-by saying simply that you aren’t sure, you aren’t disrespecting or endorsing any religion over another. If there’s anything that studying rhetoric has taught me, it’s that using confining language to talk about an identity isn’t something that goes well.

I am agnostic because sometimes I find myself believing there is something in the afterlife, but I don’t know what it is and there isn’t a way for me to know for sure. I’m comfortable with this identification, it has helped me leave my depressive existential crisis state.

Thank you for reading my experience with agnosticism!

End

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k-llama-llama · 6 years

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The Nutcracker

Stray Kids AU: 10th member

Tori x Stray Kids

25 Days of Tori: Day 14

Changbin fulfills Tori’s birthday gift, and takes her to the ballet.

A/N: Until tumblr gets itself together I am not posting the links to my ask box or master list. If you need either, just DM, or go from my actual Tumblr page.

Requests are Open: Submit them to my ask box! I need them!

“Do I look okay?” Tori asked Changbin for what was probably the 100th time.

“Yes,” He promised. “You look gorgeous. Now can we please go in?”

Tori smoothed out her dress. It was a beautiful pink tea-length gown that Mina had lent her. She paired it with silver flats, and was wearing black pea-coat.. She’d never been to such a fancy ballet before, and she really wanted to fit in.

Changbin, considering he was the one who got her the tickets for her birthday, hadn’t put up a fight when she insisted he wear a suit and tie. He thought he looked very handsome, even though he wasn't really sure if he was going to enjoy this entire experience.

“Sure. Let’s go in.” They made their way up the stairs. They were by far the youngest people in their section of the theatre, but Tori was so nervous about the show that the didn’t even notice. Changbin took her coat and placed it on her chair while she peered up at the intricate ceiling of the theatre.

“Tor, sit down.” He whispered.

She plopped into her seat, smoothing out her skirts again. “It’s all so pretty, Binnie.”

The theatre was made up in a winter theme, and the light sounds of an orchestra filled the room.

“So, I’ve never seen this.” Changbin told her, trying to take her mind off her nerves. “What should I know?”

“That it’s the best ballet that has ever been.” She breathed.

Changbin laughed lightly, realizing that she wasn’t even being sarcastic. Tori was completely an utterly in awe of everything, and it hadn’t even started.

“Binnie.” She turned to him. “This is the best gift anyone has ever given me.”

He grinned. “Remember that at Christmas. Cuz there is no way I’m topping this.”

“Okay.” She wasn’t even listening to him. “Everyone here is so fancy.”

Changbin looked around at all of the well-dressed couples. “Tori, we are much cuter than any of them.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He smiled. “So what’s your favourite part of this thing? So I know when to hold your hand.”

“You’re holding my hand through the whole thing.” She told him. “But the dance of the sugar plum fairy is my favourite. I’ll probably cry.”

“Good to know. Thanks for the warning.”

Tori held out her hand, and he obediently clasped it. Just as he did so, the lights dimmed.

A nervous murmur filled the theatre, and Tori audibly gasped.

Changbin settled back in his seat and prepared to watch the first ballet of his life.

When they emerged from the theatre a few hours later, it was snowing. Tori pulled him under the awning of the theatre as they waited for their ride.

“Changbin,” She smiled at him. “That was the greatest experience of my life. Please tell me that you liked it.”

“I liked it.” He promised. “It was really beautiful. I can see why you like the ballet so much.”

“Right!” She exclaimed. She was positively giddy. “It’s just so amazing. Like, ugh, I wish I could dance like that.”

“You really wouldn’t fit in with Stray Kids if you did.” Changbin laughed.

“No,” She sighed. “But I sure do love watching it.”

“How about this.” He swung her hands to keep warm. “We make this a yearly thing? Every year, you and me, and we’ll go out and you can make me appreciate ballet.”

Tori grinned. “You mean it?”

“Of course I mean it!” He insisted. “This was nice. We’ll call it our own little Christmas tradition.”

She nodded. “That’s perfect. But you know, now I need to make you watch the Barbie version.”

“Barbie version! Why?”

“Because that’s how I fell in love with it, Binnie. Don’t you wanna see what I mean?”

He sighed. “Fine. But next year.”

“Next year!” She agreed. “I can’t wait!”

She did a little spin, her foot tracing patterns in the snow.

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littlemister-roo · 5 years

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BHP The Beast Within || Greg-a-Roo

TW werewolf violence, blood, umm...did I mention the werewolf?

In which Roo completely forgets to take his daily dose of wolfsbane potion on the night of the Yule Ball, yielding disastrous consequences when the full moon comes around.

@notmuchofatail

ROO

Wow this month had been crazy! Roo could hardly believe how great it had been! He had met some students from America, commentated the magical melee, gotten a date with literally the hottest girl in school and rescued an illusive endangered bird on the school grounds!

All of that great stuff had happened in spite of the furry little problem scheduled to rear it’s ugly head that very night. But before that, Roo had plans to go with his best friend see the new demiguise rumored to have arrived in the school paddock just that day.

Coming down the stairs to gryffindor Tower, Roo spotted Greg waiting for him in the entrance hall. Grinning, he ran over to his friend and called out, “Hey Greg! You ready to go see something amazing?”

GREG

Despite his initial concerns for this entire… Magical Melee event - Greg was actually quite pleased about how his time had been going. Sure… it wasn't always rainbows and butterflies but for the most part? Greg enjoyed having his American friends here to visit. The extra heads and passion at his clubs making for more excitement - more quidditch teams to face off against and more memories to hold close to his heart.

Especially those he'd been sharing with his fellow Hogwarts classmates and professors as well. The Golden Snidget for example, he was sure to rest member for a lifetime and… well, his time with Charlie at the Yule Ball? Don't even get him started.

The greatest thing however? Is that it wasn't even over. Here he was still planning future fun and adventure, meeting Roo within the hall as he fidgeted lightly with his robes. "You'd think we'd have run out of amazing things to see after these past few days huh?" He teased with a shake of his head, starting off across the hall with his friend - the excitement already clear in his demeanor. "Do you think we'll actually get to see it? Like… that it won't go invisible on us?..."

ROO

“Nah! They only go really invisible when spooked, right? And you have like the most calming presence with the creatures of anyone I know!” Roo assured his friend with a smile, nearly bouncing from eagerness even though physically he felt like he needed about a thousand hours of sleep. All part of that lovely little gift he received every month,

He had no intention of sleeping however. Not yet. He’d been doing this for years and thanks to the potion, knew exactly the hour and minute the change would come. It was like clockwork and he intended to get the most out of life before hiding himself away.

As it was, twilight had hit the grounds as the sun slowly set behind the mountains, the full moon already making an appearance as it peeked over the horizon.

“Ok! We’ve got t-minus four hours and ten minutes to check out one of the coolest magical creatures ever before my mom and I have an appointment with the room of requirement. You ready?”

GREG

The young man could have laughed at that - but it was incredibly sweet to know that Roo thought that. In fact that might've been one of the best compliments he'd ever received. A calming presence was a big deal in that field of work, after all. Professor Tibbs? He was like that too. Now - Greg was terrified of ever pissing off the man but.. His general presence? Very peaceful.

As they strolled across the grounds, Eeyore's gaze tilted up towards the sky - the moon just peeking in at them as the younger man nodded his head. He trusted Roo - if the older student said he had four hours and ten minutes exactly? Greg believed it. It was both a responsibility and a whole process that Greg wasn't sure he would have ever been strong enough to endure but Roo? He always treated it like nothing. Never let it get him down or get in the way of him doing what he wanted.

Greg could respect that.

"Of course!" He finally spoke back, a smile planted on his features as they walked down and passed all too familiar areas. "I'm always ready to see new creatures. I'm almost a little mad actually that we weren't told sooner about this." He teased with a shake of his head. "I hated sitting through classes and dinner knowing we were going to go see it tonight. I wanted to leave already!"

ROO

Roo loved Hogwarts and counted himself lucky that he was even allowed to attend considering his condition. The school provided the magical education he required as well as a job for his mother when few other employers would even consider hiring her. Not only that, but Roo had made some amazing friends—present company especially included—and had helped him realize his care and passion for magical creatures.

The sweeping grounds spread before them as they made their way to the paddock where the creatures of Hogwarts were kept and cared for, the lake shimmering in the final rays of the sun.

They walked in companionable silence for a few moments. Things had been busy with prefect duties and new students and his job as competition commentator, so Roo hadn't really gotten to talk to Greg much over the past week. They had some stuff to catch up on.

“Sooooo….tell me...” Roo started, his mouth quirking into a playful smirk as they walked. “You and Charlie Little???”

GREG

The blush spread across Gregory’s features almost immediately, his eyes narrowing towards his friend with a small shake of his head. “Really - that’s what you’re going to ask about when you asked Ashley to the ball.” He shot back with a laugh; knowing he’d certainly had a good time overhearing all that during the task. However despite his words, Gregory did allow a short sigh, glancing towards Professor Tibbs’ place as they passed it.

“I uh… He’s nice, okay?” He started finally, gaze slipping back to Roo for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders again. Though it wasn’t like he had to explain himself to Roo - the older man wasn’t there to judge him. He was likely sincerely just curious and trying to kindly take the mickey out of him but… he still felt himself bristle slightly before he remembered there was nothing to get defensive over.

Roo wasn’t some rude Slytherin, Toulouse or any of the other bullies that dotted the school.

“Like….really nice. I didn’t even think he was gonna agree to going with me so.. I was just happy he said yes and.. Then we-” A pause to blush deeper. “Well.. uhm.. We had a good time. How was the ball for you? Was Ashley actually a good date?”

ROO

Yeah, Roo was being nosy, and he was totally going to take the Mickey out of Greg. But in a friendly sort of way, not at all like the bullies around school.

“I know he's nice,” Roo chuckled, holding up his hands in a gesture of peace. “Wasn't he in the COMC club back in our third year? Nice kid with an affinity for reptiles? Honest, I'm glad you guys had a great time. It was a very good time, if my sources are to be trusted.” The sly grin was back as he elbowed his friend playfully, stepping through the opening in the low stone wall halfway down the path to the magical creature paddock.

It was a mark of how good their friendship was that they could talk openly with one another. Greg knew Roo’s greatest secret, so what was a bit of teasing about love lives between friends?

It was Roo’s turn to blush. “Ashley’s—complicated,” he hedged, shrugging a bit. “She acts all tough and like she hates everything but every once in awhile she lets a small crack in her mask show and there's something else underneath, ya know?” He laughed, rubbing his neck as he added, “But yes, she was a great date. She called me an idiot the whole time but her actions told a completely different story.”

GREG

Gregory made a small affirmative hum at the question - though he made no move to correct his companion on the fact that he was younger than him and it was his second year that Charlie had been there. Gregory rarely hung out with the people in his year, anyways, after all and with most of his friends belonging to Fifth year? He might as well have been one. Often people talking with him about OWLs and classes he wasn’t even taking too. At least he’d be more prepared for them when they came.

“He’s great with herpetology. And herbology.” He agreed, knowing if there was something Charlie did well? It was caring for his little lizards and his toad. There was so much love and attention put into it and Greg was always impressed by it. “But..I guess your sources are right. Whatever extendable ears you’re using around me.” He teased back with a laugh, choosing to climb over a fallen log rather than walk around it (more fun that way).

“That’s good though! I mean - not that she called you an idiot or anything but… That you had a good time too.” He might not have expected it given Ashley being his date but… One could hope that perhaps they would have had a good night together. Even if it...was perhaps the weirdest pairing he could imagine. Even then - still happy for his friend. “Sooooooo.” He started teasingly, glancing over his shoulder and nearly tripping over a root the second he wasn’t paying attention. “You uh - Jesus - You think you’re gonna have a second date?” He recovered, playing it off with a cheeky grin.

ROO

“Weeeelllll….” Roo hedged, though his face went hot and he couldn't help the ridiculous grin. Technically, they'd been seeing each other in secret thanks to her strict family, but he had promised to keep it a secret, which felt really weird with his best friend, by the way. “We’ve hung out a few times since then.” True. “But I don't know that I'd call it a date, ya know?”

He kicked a stray stone down the hill ahead of the, and grinned back at his friend, his eyes dancing with laughter, “But my own weird love life aside, I'm crazy glad for you, mate. Having a great dance partner and a little action? Sounds like a recipe for a great night.” He clapped Greg genially on the back, laughing as he added, “So, have you two hung out much since then?”

Roo paused a split second, feeling a little odd. Like a burst of energy had drained away from his body. Like he needed to lie down. He blinked and shrugged. Thinking it was probably nothing and continued walking,

GREG

Greg certainly wasn’t into the idea of discussing his crazy weird love life either, but he had to suppose it was only fair to give back when he was asking the same things of Roo. Though unfortunately there wasn’t much to tell on that front. “Nah… We haven’t. I suppose time will tell though” He spoke with a gentle shrug - continuing quickly as he pressed on.

"Well maybe you should ask her out on another date though." He suggested, letting his head wander as they walked through the forest - keeping an eye on for any magical creatures on their way because well.. Gregory was always looking.

"Make it official or something, y'know?"

ROO

Roo shrugged noncommittally, though he smiled. “I dunno, maybe. Is it weird that I really like her? Like, like-like her?” He shook his head, eyes raised to the sky as he thought about everything that had happened throughout the month. And how much he appreciated his friend’s companionship and support.

The final dregs of afternoon warmth were fading, making way for the cool of night when his gaze snapped up and he grinned at his best friend.

“I think we both deserve happiness and would like to propose a pact,” he hopped up on a tree stump as if it were a stage, continuing, “That we both agree to shoot for the moon! That we'll both take the next step, whatever that may be, me with Ashley and you with Charlie. And we'll each be there cheering the other on, no matter what,” he grinned widely, holding his hand out to shake on it, “Whattya say?”

GREG

That was probably a pact that Greg was willing to agree to. Especially if it meant that his friend could shoot for his own happiness too. Though he was… uncertain about his future with Charlie - he had a lot of hope for Roo and Ashley. It was always the under-dog pairings that made it through right? And… well he liked to think that Ashley did have a heart underneath it all. Enough to see Roo as the great person that he truly was.

In fact, Gregory was certain that Roo would be an amazing boyfriend for anyone. They’d be lucky to have him.

The older boy’s hand was taken easily, a smile spreading across his lips as he shook on it firmly. “Agreed. And… I mean no matter what happens, no one can say we didn’t try, right?” Because in the end? That was all that really mattered - and even if things didn’t work out? At least they’d have each other there to support one another.

ROO

Roo grinned widely, clutching his friend’s hand and shaking. He was certain there were ways to be more dramatic about making a pact permanent and lasting, but he supposed just their word and a handshake would be enough. They were already best friends, right? If his friend couldn't trust him or the reverse, what was even the point?

The sun vanished behind the horizon, and something lurched inside Roo. He gasped, his heart nearly stopping in his chest.

No.

No. No. No. No. No. It wasn't time. He still had 3 hours and 23 minutes to go before—

Roo cringed away from his friend, grasping his head, struggling against the magic he could feel writhing inside, ready to take over his senses until dawn. A familiar burning tore through his body, sparking deep inside him and working its way out.

“Greg—” he gasped, his voice spiked with terror as he fell to the ground, “Run. Get away.”

GREG

It was easy to laugh as he pulled his hand back from his friends, nodding his promise to his friend and knowing that he didn’t have to worry about Roo backing out on his end of the deal. Maybe he’d talk to Charlie tomorrow - ask him to hang out or something. That would be nice…

“Roo?” Concern broke over his features as his friend stopped dead, Greg’s gaze looking over his shoulder before he turned towards him fully - a hand immediately reaching out as he fell to the grass below them. A cold sweat dotted his brow as he shook his head, even if Roo wasn’t watching him. “Roo - Roo what’s..what’s wrong?” He asked, his hand drawing back from his friend’s shoulder when he remembered what day it was. Slowly - his gaze slipped up to the sky; the full moon bearing down on them brightly, almost mocking them from its position as his eyes drew back to his friend.

Oh no.

Oh no, no, no. This shouldn’t be happening - this couldn’t be happening. Roo wouldn’t - he wouldn’t let himself turn in the woods. In front of him! He takes potions to prevent this! Did...did he forget?? “Roo - Please calm down. Just breathe okay.” He tried, taking a few careful steps back as he raised a shaky hand in a placating gesture - opposite moving to grip his wand within his robes. “It’s--- It’s gonna be okay! You’re fine, okay? Please just…” what? Not change?? Oh my god what was he going to do?

ROO

The change was coming, Roo could feel it. His mind, slipping out of his control. He wanted to cry, listening to Greg reassure him that he was going to be fine. But he wasn't, something had happened. He must have missed a dose of his potion in the excitement of everything that had happened.

But that's wasn't important right now. Greg was still there, a true friend, trying to comfort Roo, not caring he was in legitimate danger, one the change happened, Roo would cease to exist until dawn, a wild bloodthirsty beast left in his place.

“Greg! Get out of here! You have to save yourself!” he screamed, now thrashing as his body melted away into something else. And everything hurt. So much. He wanted it to be over, for the terror and the pain to be behind him.

Fur spring up on his neck, his back, his arms, everywhere. His bones morphing into a completely new shape, the shape of the wolf. Claws sprung from where his fingers had been and sharp fangs slid out in place of his teeth.

The more wolf like his body, the further his mind retreated into the farthest reaches of his consciousness until all that was left was the terror and rage and hunger of the wolf crouching in the grass, whimpering softly as it sniffed the air, trying to get its bearings.

GREG

This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This couldn't have been happening. He knew about werewolves. He'd seen werewolves but - to watch Roo transform in front of him? To see his body tear itself apart and put itself back together?

It was terrifying.

He was terrified. And yet? As quick as it came it almost seemed over. Roo laid trembling and whimpering along the grass. He'd warned him. Told him to get away and yet Greg's feet remained planted to the ground - either from fear or concern he wasn't sure. The world felt so suddenly quiet and he was almost afraid to breathe.

"... R-Roo?" Finally came his voice, meeker than he'd expected as he pushed back upon the balls of his feet - ready to turn and run should this go badly.

ROO

The wolf bristled at the sound of the human voice, ignoring the ongoing struggle in the back of its mind. Only one thing mattered. The need to bite. To scratch. To howl and run and hunt.

It’s head snapped up, wide yellow eyes honing in on the boy that spoke, tense as it took on the stance of one preparing to flee.

The proper stance for prey.

Leaping to its feet, a snarl ripped from the wolf’s throat followed by a long howl, it’s nose pointed to the sky.

Finishing in a crouch the wolf turned its predatory gaze back in the boy foolish enough to still be standing there, it’s muscles tended, preparing to pounce when —

No! Don’t! Please!

A tiny weak voice cried out in the wolf’s mind struggling for control. The wolf shook its head, choosing to ignore it. That voice held no power over the wolf.

The growl built in the wolf’s chest as it slowly stalked towards its prey, muscles tensing, preparing to go for the attack.

It paused as the voice returned, begging and pleading for it to stop. It was a distracting nuisance and the wolf was annoyed, snarling and snapping at the air over its shoulder as if the owner of the voice was right there.

The wolf shook its head. No. It would not yield.

Forward it moved, slowly crouching, staring at its trembling prey, until—it pounced! Leaping through the air towards the boy!

GREG

The boy easily flinched at the howl, stumbling back a few steps with a gasp. Fear had him frozen to the core then - locking eyes once more and it didn't take a genius to know the signs. Crouched on its haunches, a tension rippling through its muscles…

Roo was poised to attack.

And yet he couldn't move. Feet remained planted firmly upon the ground, iron grip on his wand and curses repeating like a mantra in his head. Roo got closer - snarling and snapping: at him, at itself.

Move. Run. Wake up, wake up, wake up. Please just —

Instinct worked before he did, throwing himself to the side as the werewolf finally lunged forward. Gregory fell easily to the forest floor, his legs scrambling underneath him almost immediately as he pushed himself up. By the time he was even close to standing he was already running, a mad sprint towards the edge of the forest. Towards help.

He just needed to get that far.

ROO

The boy dodged, tumbling to one side just in time to avoid the snapping jaws of the wolf. The wolf skidded to a halt, howling it’s rage at the night sky before changing course and giving chase to its prey.

Bounding over the grassy hills, the forest called out to the wolf. It was the siren call of freedom and it was tempting. But the forest could wait, the predator must first satisfy the primal hunger burning inside—and the need to bite. To scratch. To destroy.

The prey was just ahead, still fleeing. Still putting up a fight. But the wolf was closing in. Just a few more bounds and—it leapt! Flying through the air it landed gracefully, it's front paws knocking the boy facefirst to the ground.

With a final snarl of victory, wolf sunk its teeth into the boy's flesh, the scent and taste of blood satisfying the beast within until another howl pierced the darkness, calling the wolf to it. The wolf howled in reply and bounded into the forest, leaving its prey curled up alone and bleeding at the edge of the forest.

GREG

Shoes pressed quickly over the uneven terrain of the forest, his balance slipping once more but he didn't fall. Instead his hand brushed over the dirt, pushing up as he fought to correct his balance - leaving his wand to snap right out of his hand at the contact and leaving him completely defenseless.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Tears has long since sprung from his eyes, trailing down his face as he glanced over his shoulder and caught the beast (it sure wasn't his best friend anymore) speeding up behind him. Closer and closer. The snarls almost directly behind him now. The edge of the woods was close though! All he needed to do was reach it and — and well maybe he'd find help.

"Professor Tibbs!" He screamed, hoping, praying, the man was outside. That he'd hear him. That anyone would hear him. "Professor Tibbs please! Help me! He—" The call for help faltered as he felt the weight connect with his back, pain flaring through him as he fell roughly to the ground.

It was only in that moment that Gregory remembered himself. Remembered that werewolves wouldn't harm an animagus. He would have been fine if he'd have transformed and ran away - the wolf would have lost interest. All he had to do was concentrate and maybe he could still get away!

Too little too late.

All too soon, his gasp fell away to a scream of agony, hot white pain flaring in his shoulder as he felt the wolf's jaws clamp down and tear relentlessly into flesh. It was like a nightmare he wasn't waking up from - a scary movie he was merely acting it; except it was _real,_ and he could feel everything. Broken sobs slipped from his lips, a hand shakily pressing to his mangled mess of skin, the blood slicking his fingers as he heard the crunch of leaves and twigs around him. The wolf was leaving but Gregory couldn't have been less aware, panic flooding his mind as his heart pounded in his ears, the pain leaving him all but motionless.

Blackness dotted his vision and Gregory tried to call out - to move or do anything but his body failed him. Perhaps his mind too - almost imagining the silhouettes of people in the distance but heavy-lidded eyes simply wouldn't focus. Wouldn't dare tell him his fantasies from the harsh reality.

—and as the blackness took over, he couldn't help but think that might've been for the best.

ROO

A mighty gasp brought the boy back to the world of light. He jolted upright, sobs wracking his body as the dream replayed in his mind in great detail.

Another Swynlake dream. Great. He’d lived through enough of those over the past 16 years that he wasn’t surprised anymore. He usually didn’t put much stock in them.

But this one felt—different. Somehow. Like it could mean something.

The memory of the wolf taking over his body—the beast attacking his dream best friend who happened to be a good friend of his in real life—that disturbed him most. He couldn’t believe he was capable of such violence, even in a dream.

Especially a dream that had been so nice until the final moments. Memories of friendship, camaraderie, incredible magical creatures and an impossible first kiss were bright spots trying to outshine the darkness that was the beast he’d become.

Still trembling, Roo took a few calming breaths and, scrubbing his hands on his face, climbed from the couch where he’d apparently been when the magic took over the town, and went to find his mom. He might be nearly grown but sometime a kid just needed his mom. Besides if what he remembered of her status in the dream was correct, she might need him in that moment as much as he needed her.

#the beast within #bhp #greg-a-roo #gregory eeyore #tw werewolf violence #tw blood #tw possible ambiguous death #tw violence

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cancer-man-speaks · 6 years

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Cancer Sucks But You Live

My punctuation sucks because I haven’t evolved thumbs.

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Sometimes I put things off so long that I feel ashamed and in turn try to bury it even deeper in the pile of things to do. As far as excuses go it’s not the greatest but most fall short of that. A great deal of that lost time is laziness but there is also a part of me that doesn’t want to look back, that doesn’t want to remember what it was like to be where you are at.

Always obsessed with outward appearance, I cracked a joke when the doctor told me that my PET scan lit up like a Christmas tree on crank. I cried in my sister’s arms when she ran to me across the snow dusted parking lot of the clinic. I smoked a pack of cigarettes on the car ride home, trying to keep my hands busy, to do something other than think about what this all meant. I calmed down before walking in, steeling myself to be as stoic and stone faced for my family as I could. In my head I thought that I couldn’t feel this for the sake of others around me. The moment I walked in the door, I saw the tear streaked faces of my mother and sisters. The dogs milled around their ankles not sure what to make of all their sorrow and their inability to help (or in our beagle’s case, his inability to get fed.) All my bluster, all my hubris fell away when I saw my loved ones, the things I had to lose all in one place. They embraced me one at a time then we came together as a group and I lost it. All motor control lost, my legs felt like jelly. They as a group, as a family supported my weight until I could stand on my own two feet again. The beagle, ever caring, bit me in the ankle for being too far into my mother’s person space.

When I got home from the biopsy, that confirmed the doctor’s suspicion of cool case of type b small cell non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, I took to sleeping on the floor. I told myself it was to keep my bad back comfortable but the truth was it felt good to have something solid underneath me as everything was changing. The days passed and the face in the mirror grew ever more foreign. The bone under my flab carved itself out in my cheeks and jaw. Hollow pockets formed around my eyes that gave me the look of an upstairs basement dwelling gnurdsferatu. The only thing that didn’t change were the patterns on the pitted hardwood of my floor. I’d take off my glasses, lay my head on the cool floor, and follow the whirls in the grain with my weary eyes until they lead out of blurry site. There was a comfort in knowing that just because I couldn’t see where the rich, brown lines ended it didn’t mean they were done travelling.

Either through pity or not being able to read the signs of chemotherapy I’d occasionally get compliments on my physique. Over a beer or two somebody would ask, “You look really good, man. What’s your secret? You been going to the gym or doing heroin?”

Nothing beats the satisfaction of the anti-joke that is responding with an off handed, casual, “I have cancer. It beats the hell out of doing palates.” After you explain the sitch to people a million times explaining it one more time is mundane and boring. They will stumble a second on their words; not sure if you are telling the truth or a joke in poor taste. It’s the ultimate, “Gotcha,” moment. When your diagnosis becomes blasé your spirits soar.

From a few days after I was diagnosed letters poured in by the boatload. Friends, family, friends of family, people that had passed me once at the mall and paid a compliment to my shoes all wanted me to know that there was hope and that I was not alone. I’d read them and be dumbfounded by the amount of care people could express for a stranger. I was even more dumbfounded by the amount of care the family could express. No matter how hard I tried to blend into the background, to continue my weird, self-isolation from my family they kept firing salvo after salvo of cards and gifts. They’d send me gum, stickers that said, “Fuck Cancer,” (Because as we know cancer is terrified of strong language.), and all manner of sweet, sweet candy treats. There was no way for me to stay off the radar of the people that loved me.

I held it together through my first few rounds of chemo. It really didn’t bother me until my hair fell out. Until my fourth round I was feeling like a million bucks. I was getting skinny, I lost a few stray hairs, and I had an actual license to smoke pot. What 24-year-old wouldn’t love that? I was driving to the store to grab a drink and I ran my hand through my hair and it came back in tufts between my fingers. Pulling off the road into an abandoned store’s parking lot I started neurotically, compulsively picking away at my scalp and beard. Handfuls of the stuff coated the front seat of my 03’ Accord but still I couldn’t stop. I watched in horror as my reflection warped in the rearview mirror. I just couldn’t stop. After a half hour of what scholars refer to as, “Going bananas real manic like,” I regained my composure. I drove myself over to a friend’s house and had her shear my head with the clippers her dad used to shave his back. From that day on I was bald. It wasn’t so bad when I got used to it. Every now and then I would get a weird phantom limb sensation, as though I still had a rugged mane of hair, when the breeze blew on my naked scalp.

I was in and out of the hospital all the time. My guts exploded one time when a tumor responded to the chemo and disappeared. It was what we wanted with the tumor, not so much what we wanted for my intestines. They cut out ten feet of my goop and stitched me back up. I was locked up in the cancer klink for two weeks after that. They had me on a tube and all of my food and fluids came from an IV, except when family or friends were around. They would sneak me a small cup of ice cubes, a rare sip of water, or even, once, a whole bottle of tangerine Bai over a whole night. Even when I was being a real grumpy cancer boy my friends, family, and everybody else would stick it out just to let me know I wasn’t alone. In that exact same stay, a friend of mine actually saved my life because he was able to understand my garbled speech through my nose/mouth tubes. I’d been trying to explain to my nurse that the bile vacuum they had in my guts was pumping my green-black bile back into me but she may have been one of god’s special people. When my friend confirmed that my gunk was being pumped back into me, he snagged somebody. Without that kind of support, I’d have either been dead or in the hooskow weeks longer. Not every situation is bubbling gut ooze but when it is remember to trust those people around you enough to say, “Hey, my bubbling gut ooze vacuum feels like its acting weird. Can you go look at the container the ooze is collecting in and tell me what it’s doing?”

You’d think that with all this gut busting and chemo I’d be taking it easy. Wrong. I’m a big idiot so instead of resting I kept smoking, went to the bars regularly, and tried my hand at in the DIY rock n’ roll venue game. My nights before chemo were full of putting anything and everything I could inflict on my body. Jumping through tables, mosh pits, and drinking beer bongs to Jean Claude Van Dame flicks were everyday occurrences. I’d been dumb before cancer. With the ability to live a bohemian, YOLO life I did just that. I’d burn the candle at both ends because I didn’t know if there was going to be a tomorrow. Tomorrow always came; usually with a Jimmy Buffet grade hangover. Dumb. I was dumb. I did seven rounds of chemo then stem cell and not once did I let off the gas petal of stupidity.

But you know what?

I survived. Against all odds, against odds that I was actively trying to stack against myself, I survived. Was it a miracle sent down from the heavens? Maybe. Was it aliens? I’d like to think so. Was it the constant support of my friends and loved ones coupled with cutting edge, state of the art technology in the hands of the most competent doctors and nurses in the industry even though I was hellbent on dying young and beautiful because I’m an idiot? That’s a run-on sentence. It’s also a pretty good idea of what kept me alive, what will keep you alive. I was full to the brim with cancer while dancing on the brink of self-immolation. If I did everything in my power to give myself the odds of a three-legged horse at the Kentucky Derby what do you think yours are? I bet you take care of yourself at least slightly better. I’d like to think that if I beat cancer there is an infinite amount of hope for you, who is not an idiot with a death wish, to go into remission.

There will be moments in the dead of night where you doubt your own survival. There will be bright days that you will sleep away. There will be moments where you lay on the floor in the fetal position bathed in hot tears and cold sweat. You will think of what a life without this hell would be like. You will feel like the cards are stacked against you. The, “What if’s,” will mix a cocktail of fatal fear in your skull eating away at your resolve. You will walk into your kitchen and forget for half an hour that you came in there for soup. You will throw that soup up and lay hunched and miserable over the porcelain for an hour. You will wonder who will carry your name? Who will see your babies walk across the stage at graduation?

The answer is you. This may be the worst moment of your life but it will not be the one that defines you. What defines you will be all that comes after this nightmare. With your two hands you will make great works. Gardens resplendent in their rainbow will call your master. You will see the white sands of far off beaches, will feel the artic chill of the frozen wastelands allegedly known as, “Canadia” far to the North. Mortal peril will be replaced with picking up the kids from karate and a gallon of milk. You will watch your children grow and cover this earth like that brand of paint I can’t mention for copyright reasons. As you watch them cross that stage or walk down the aisle you will have at your sides the same faces that did their best to make you smile from your bedside during your weakest moment. Trust in them as you would have them trust in you. They will be your guide when you cannot find yourself, we will be your guide.

#cancer #survivor #chemo #cancersurvivor #hope #advice #lymphoma #non hodgkins lymphoma #lifewithcancer #lifeaftercancer

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evieshook · 7 years

Text

gift of life

pairing: harry/evie rating: pg-13 words: ~3200 a/n: lame title, i know but i couldn’t think of anything. this was a really fun prompt to write haha. and fun fact, i already have headcanons for my two hevie babies xD i combined two prompts, because i thought they worked together really well. prompt: A hevie pregnancy? + Hello ! If it's not too much trouble and fic requests are still open , could you please write a Hevie Fic where Harry is overprotective of Evie ? Thank you ! I love your blog by the way !! read on: [ao3] [ffn.net]

“I don’t understand how you can still walk with heels when you’re this far along,” Mal remarked, watching in slight awe as her best friend slipped on her other shoe. Despite the large belly in her way, Evie still managed to put her shoes on with such grace and ease that it was though she wasn’t pregnant at all.

The princess looked up with a smile after tying her strap. “I’m lucky I can even keep these, nonetheless walk in them.”

Mal raised an eyebrow. “What do you— Oh right, Harry.”

“Harry,” she nodded with a sigh.

Contrary to what everyone had expected, the usually wild and reckless pirate was actually quite the worrywart when he wanted to be. When Evie had announced her pregnancy to him just seven months prior, she was greeted with the widest grin she had ever seen on his face before he tackled her, peppering both her face and her stomach with numerous kisses. Despite having been together for a little over six years, they had never really spoken of having children. Evie had always assumed it would be a natural part of their relationship, particularly after they got married but her pregnancy had come a lot earlier than she expected. She had been rather nervous before telling him, worried that he did not want a child so early, not when they had barely undertaken their journey around the seven seas.

But Harry, Harry had reacted in such a way that she wondered how she had gotten so lucky. He had been so excited at the prospect of having a little pirate (or princess, she had added), of his own that no one had seen him without that goofy smile on his face ever since her announcement. While Evie knew Harry would be a good father, what she did not expect was for him to be the overprotective type, especially during the months of her pregnancy.

The first time he had shown this new side of his was when he found her hauling a large pile of fabrics into her room. He had all but rushed to her side, grabbing the pile from her before settling it down where she had wanted. Evie was amused but also rather confused, particularly after he had announced that she “no longer carry the heavy stuff. I don’t want ye hurting yerself before the baby comes.”

She had all but frowned, arguing that she was barely two months along and wasn’t showing yet, but he had downright refused. Rather, he had all but banned her from carrying heavy loads without him or someone else to help her. She had let it go the first time, however he had gotten particularly worse as the months went by. From making sure she ate the right things (as if she didn’t before), to helping her upstairs and practically becoming her errand boy (much to her refusal), he had basically fussed over every tiniest aspect of her life. He had argued that it was to make sure the baby was healthy, and while she had enjoyed being pampered during the first few months, it was becoming increasingly annoying.

Now that she was coming close to her due date in less than two months, he had become very, very overprotective to the point he wouldn’t let her out of his sight and refused for her to do anything but practically lie in bed and ‘relax’. It was becoming quite constricting, but she didn’t have the heart to argue against him, not when he had looked so excited for his firstborn child. She suspected it was because of his own lack of fatherly affection when he was young, so he was trying to rectify that through his own child but sometimes it was too much. He was smothering her.

And she wasn’t the only one who noticed. Practically everyone knew how much of an overprotective father Harry was now, especially after making everyone agree to always have her within their sights when he wasn’t there. It almost felt like he was her father, rather than her fiancé.

“I actually think it’s kinda sweet,” Mal remarked casually, Evie raising a brow in surprise.

“Sweet? Wow, I never thought I’d see the day when you would call Harry of all people, sweet.”

Mal rolled her eyes but it was all true. “Only when he’s around you, in particularly a pregnant you, is he sweet. I’d never thought he’d be the super overprotective type.”

“Me neither,” she mused. “Overprotective yes, but super overprotective no. You just wait until you get pregnant M, I think Ben’ll be a lot worse than Harry.”

She shook her head. “I won’t let him.”

Evie knew she probably wouldn’t, but she knew deep down that Mal loved the attention Ben gave her. It was the same way with her, except she had always loved being the centre of attention. “Even so, I’m not really complaining. He just gets a little too much sometimes, especially now.”

The queen hummed in agreement. “I can see that. I would tell him to chill and tone it down, but we both know he’s always been like that.”

“Unfortunately,” Evie sighed.

Mal gave the girl a small pat on the back in reassurance. “Hang in there, E. It’ll all be over soon.”

She smiled, gently rubbing her swollen belly. To think that in just under two months that she’ll be giving birth and cradling her own child within her arms. Six years ago, she didn’t think it’d ever be possible but fast forward, and look where she was now. She was no longer on the Isle. Instead, she was living happily in Auradon, or more recently on The Red Tide, with a successful business doing what she loved, a fiancé she loved with all her heart, and ready to welcome her first child.

“Soon,” she promised.

“Princess—“

Evie shook her head, cutting him off before he could say some more. She knew where this was going, but she refused to hear the end of it. “I know what you’re going to say Harry, but no. I’m not going to give up these heels.”

“But ye know damn well how painful those things are on a normal basis. I don’t know how yer even wearin’ them when yer pregnant with our child.”

She shrugged, before slipping off the shoes to join him in bed. “Well, when you’re me then I’ll let you know.”

He chuckled before shifting to give her some room. Harry leaned forward to pull back the covers as she slipped in, making herself comfortable before he pulled the sheets back up, carefully tucking her in. Evie shifted to lie slightly into his side as he wrapped an arm around her, placing a hand over her exposed belly and gently rubbing soothing circles.

“To think we’d be welcoming this little buccaneer in less than two months,” he mused, Evie humming in agreement.

“I can’t wait to meet our little Evie or Harry when the time comes.”

He kissed her tenderly on the forehead, Evie sighing into the kiss. “Ye’ll be a great mother Princess. The fairest in the land.”

She looked up at him, cupping his cheek. “And you, you’ll be the greatest father our child could ever ask for. I could have never asked for anyone else.”

Harry leaned into her. “I wouldn’t ‘ave let ye. Ye’ll only be havin’ my kids, and that’s that.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Evie said before a thought came to mind. She eyed him mischievously. “Except…”

His eyes narrowed. “Except what?”

She sighed. “You really need to tone it down.”

“Tone what down?”

Evie motioned to her stomach and her surroundings, the pirate only looking more confused. “The overprotectiveness. I get it Harry, I really do and I love all the attention you’re giving me but sometimes you’re too—“

“Much?” She nodded. He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “I’m sorry if ye feel like I’m smotherin’ ye Princess, but I just wanted to show this little one I cared enough.”

She moved a hand up to stroke his cheek. “You do. I’m sure they feel it too. But sometimes, I need some space too. I appreciate everything and I love your for it, but I need to breathe. I can’t really do much now that I’m so far along, but it’d be nice to have some alone time without anyone supervising me.”

Harry eyed her contemplatively. “I don't know…”

“Please Harry,” she pleaded, “For me?”

She flashed him that puppy dog look of hers that had him wrapped around her little finger and made him weak to the core. She hadn’t used it as much as she did when they first started dating, but not that she had Harry only realised just how weak he was against it.

“Fine,” he sighed. “But ye have to tell me where ye are just in case I get worried.”

“You’re always worried.”

He frowned. “Not always.”

Evie raised an incredulous eyebrow. “Are you serious? You’ve gotten ten times more worried since I became pregnant.”

His frown only deepened. “Not ten times Princess. Yer over-exaggerating.”

She snorted. “No I’m not. Remember when you first found me throwing up at the toilet bowl?”

It had happened six months ago, just over a month since she had first conceived. She had had her suspicions early on, having realized she had missed her period by a month, but the first time the morning sickness struck was when her suspicions had been confirmed. She had awoken to the violent need to throw up her last meal, Evie having to literally stumble out of bed to make way into their bathroom before everything inside her came spilling out.

Harry had awoken to the loud noise, his eyes flickering to their bathroom with concerned eyes as he flung aside his sheets to run in after her. He found her hunched over the toilet bowl, grasping the edges tightly before she threw up once more. Harry quickly moved to her side, gathering her stray pieces of hair before holding it behind her as she continued to pour her guts out over the bowl.

She gasped, trying to take her breath before wiping the sides of her mouth with the back of her hand. Evie looked up to find Harry staring at her worriedly, still holding back her hair. “Are ye alright Princess? Should I go get the nurse?”

She shook her head, instead closing the toilet seat before taking a seat on it. Harry let her hair go, grabbing her hands as he knelt down to look at her, Evie watching him with tired eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong with ye Princess. Do ye need medicine? I can go get some from the kitchen. Or maybe I can—“

Evie shook her head once more, noticing that the pirate was beginning to panic. She clutched his hands tightly. “I’m fine Harry. I don’t need medicine.”

He looked at her incredulously, nostrils flaring in outrage. “Like hell ye don’t! I woke up to ye just vomiting yer guts out at three in the goddamn mornin’. Don’t tell me yer fine when yer not. I should go get the nurse to find out what’s wrong with ye.”

She pulled him back to face her before he could go anywhere, taking a deep breath. “I think I know what’s wrong with me.”

His brows furrowed. “What?”

She bit her lip before she looked straight into his eyes. “I think I’m pregnant.”

“I think any auld lad with a right mind woulda been worried outta their wits if they found their lass like I did,” Harry defended, crossing his arms like a petulant child. Evie rolled her eyes but conceded that he did have a point.

“But you looked like you were going to travel hell and back to find out what’s wrong with me.”

“Who said I wouldn’t? Yer my princess, and I’d do anything to keep ye safe,” he said, looking down at her with sincerity. She hummed in response, holding him tighter as she took in his scent.

“Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best example,” she replied, “but remember that time when the baby first kicked? You didn’t know what you were doing.”

“Princess! How is me little buccaneer? Has he kicked yet?” he had asked as soon as he entered, wrapping his arms around her and resting them securely around her waist.

Evie rolled her eyes. “For the last time, she’s going to be a girl Harry.”

The pirate shrugged. “Girl or boy, it doesn’t matter. They’ll be sailin’ the seven seas even before they can walk.”

She had already expected him to display his enthusiasm for raising their child as a pirate, just like he, and while she was more than happy to let him, she wanted to make sure their child had a little flair of herself as well. If they were going to be raising a pirate, she would make sure that they knew exactly how to dress well, because some of the pirates she had met over the lifetime had a severe lacking in fashion sense. She would be damned if none of her children knew how to dress well.

Evie was about to open her mouth to reply when she felt something move inside her. It was akin to a muscle twitch, as if someone was trying to poke their way out of her belly. She almost jerked, Harry having noticed her pause and movement with concern.

“Princess?”

She had placed her hands onto her belly, looking up at him with a proud smile in realisation. Harry raised a brow curiously, before she took one of his hands around her waist and guided it to her stomach.

“I don’t—“

The words died down in his throat when he felt the same movement beneath his palm, mouth widening in disbelief. “He— He—“

She nodded with a watery smile. “She kicked,” she finished, before turning around to wrap him in her arms. Harry was still in a state of shock as she hugged him, hands hovering at his sides and unable to comprehend what had just happened.

Evie pulled back when she noticed he had yet to return her hug, looking up at his shocked face in bemusement. “Harry?”

He said nothing, instead suddenly taking her hand and leading her to their bedroom where he swiftly carried her bridal style to rest her gently on the bed. She eyed him curiously as he pulled down the covers under her to pull it back up, tucking her snugly before beginning to strangely pace at the end of their bed.

“Harry? What are you doing?”

He didn’t reply to her, instead muttering under his breath as he walked back and forth, back and forth. “Kicked… he kicked… what do I do—“ was all she could make out before she had had enough of the pacing and flung aside the covers.

Harry had noticed her actions and paused in his steps, eyeing her in shock as he shook her head. “Princess, ye shouldn’t be—“

The girl frowned at him. “I can do whatever I like Harry. The baby kicked, not disable me,” she replied testily beneath narrowed eyes.

He shook his head once more. “Ye should still be in bed.”

“Why? Harry, a kick doesn’t mean I need to recover from an illness of some sort. A kick is just a kick. I can still go on with my daily life.”

“No ye can’t.”

“And why can’t I?”

Harry was at a loss of words as he fumbled to search for a reason. Truth be told, he didn’t know what a kick had entailed despite his constant asking of it for a few weeks prior. When Evie had noticed his lack of response, she had smiled at him knowingly before narrowing her eyes.

“You never read the pregnancy books did you?”

“I did read them eventually ye know,” he told her, Evie rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, only after I threatened you with sleeping on the couch,” she replied. “I still don’t understand how it took you so long to read them. You looked so enthusiastic about raising a child, yet you refused to learn about how to raise them.”

Harry shrugged. “I hate reading.”

Evie grumbled, before sighing. “Anyway, this just proves my point. You’ve become more of a worrywart since I became pregnant.”

“Ye said I worried ten times more, but this doesn’t prove it.”

Evie didn’t have enough strength to lift herself up to glare at him, so settled for elbowing him in the stomach. “That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Remember when you first found me trying to get a glass from the top cabinet?”

“Princess! What’re ye doin’?” The pirate exclaimed in horror as he ran up to where she was standing. Evie had simply been thirsty, and had gone to the kitchen to grab a glass to refill her water. It didn’t help that the glass cabinet was near the top, but she was tall enough to still reach it so it didn’t really bother her.

However Harry had taken this as an affront to her personal safety as he grabbed a glass from the cabinet and handed it to her, giving her a small glare. “Next time, call me for help.”

She frowned at him. “To help me get a glass? Harry, for the last time I’m pregnant not disabled. I’m tall enough to still reach it.”

He had shaken his head, refusing to listen to anymore of her protests before he took down every glass from the top cabinet.

“And then you put them on the lowest cabinet, completely redecorating the kitchen without my consent,” she had sounded a bit miffed, much to his confusion.

“I was making things more accessible to ye,” he retorted, Evie snorting.

“But you didn’t even stop there. You literally removed all the top shelves and put them all at lower level, making it look like I was in a wheelchair or something. I appreciate the things you do for me Harry, I really do but you were overreacting. Especially when I was only like two months in, and I hadn’t even shown yet.”

Harry winced, having remembered that fact. Perhaps he had been overreacting at the time, especially since the baby had done everything but slow her down, yet he couldn’t help it. He had wanted to ensure that the baby was safe and healthy before the time came for him to meet him.

“Also, don’t forget that moment when you had to hold my hand every time I went up or down some stairs, even if there were only three. Also when you wouldn’t let me pack up my sewing machine because there were ‘sharp objects', and when you—“

The pirate had leaned over, kissing her softly on the forehead as the words died in her throat. When he pulled away, he looked down at her with a crooked grin, the only one he ever really showed her. “Okay I get it Princess. I’m a worrywart around ye. I promise I’ll tone it down a bit.”

She hummed in gratitude. “But I’m sure our little buccaneer has appreciated everything their daddy has done for them.”

He placed a hand on her round belly, grinning at her. “Aye.”

#hevie #harry x evie #descendants #descendants 2 #harry hook #evie descendants #he: fic #m: fic #request filled #mine

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