#and rebecca says VIDEO GAMES

[radicalhelmet]

incorrect system shock quote(s).

hacker: dammit. door's stuck. some kind of voice lock. rebecca lansing: do you know the password? h: no, but i can try and guess. ahem… HOCUS POCUS! OPEN SESAME! XYZZY! PASSWORD! CONTROL-META-ALT-SUPER-HYPER-X-X-X! SHODAN SUCKS! …meh, beats me. r: hm. h: ? r: bark. h: what? r: bark like a dog. h: huh? alright... woof. rUFF RUFF! WOWOWOWOWOWOW WWWOOF! WWWOOF-WOOF! arf arf arf arf! ... [shrugs] what was that supposed to do? r: nothing. just wanted to see if you'd do it. h: aw, for the love of--!

[vole-mon-amour]

I reached 30 tags so this an addition: Samara and Tali from Mass Effect. ♥️

favorite character from any media BUT it has to be a woman. in the tags now go (pls talk to me about your favorite fictional women pls pls pls pls)

[eugeniedanglars]

the way i see it, colin has three options for handling the repercussions of kissing michael on the pitch in front of everyone:

gatekeep: by some miracle no one caught the kiss on camera so colin's sexuality is kept between him and any fans who happened to be on the pitch near him. the safest option.

girlboss: keeley gets the pr challenge of a lifetime handling the story of the first active premier league player to come out as gay. rebecca is tall and powerful and intimidating in the press room making it clear that richmond stands behind colin one thousand percent. the most realistic option.

gaslight: straight-up blatantly lying. not because he's ashamed or because he thinks he can actually convince anyone that the kiss didn't happen, but just because he refuses to let it be a big deal. acts like he has no idea what anyone is talking about if asked anything related to his sexuality. he doesn't claim to be straight, mind you, he just pretends to be extremely confused about why they're asking because he never kissed anyone in the middle of a football pitch at the end of an internationally-televised game? when presented with photo and video proof of the kiss he says that was some other richmond player named hughes who wears a number 12 jersey. you don't know him, he goes to another school. the funniest option.

[love-takes-work]

Highlights from the stream:

Here are the anecdotes shared during the epic draw-fest. Nearly all of them have been shared elsewhere at least once, but the new ones for me were about Greg Universe's orientation and the prototypical name for what Steven and Pearl's Fusion was going to be.

Rebecca Sugar loved Peridot's floating fingers and wanted to do all kinds of fun things with them before they would be gone forever. That's why we see her making arrows with them and biting them nervously in the episode right before she loses them.

When selecting clips for promotional use, they tried to be super careful about not picking anything that would show Peridot's real hands before the reveal had been aired. They didn't want a promo to accidentally ruin that surprise.

While doing the show they had an "eye theory" where the three main Gems would always have a different number of eyes showing. Pearl had both her eyes visible; Amethyst usually had one covered; and Garnet had either no eyes showing or three eyes showing.

With Rebecca and Ian's decision to get married and the characters Ruby and Sapphire being based on them, they figured well, of course now they have to get married too. (Though Rebecca and Ian got to do so AFTER their characters did!)

One of Rebecca's "post-Future theories" is that Steven gets a Gibson Hummingbird guitar.

Cookie Cat was originally based off of Cookie Puss, a very strange Carvell ice cream cake. It had a complicated backstory, which was appropriate for working with their own characters' complicated backstory. The branding and packaging of the Cookie Cat is important within the show.

Jeff Liu composed the Cookie Cat theme on a Game Boy and pitched it.

Rebecca has a "theory" regarding how Steven and Connie's faces kind of "fit together" with Connie's face sticking out at the top and Steven's face sticking out at the bottom.

Rebecca used to do a lot of fan comics, and learned a lot about storytelling while practicing with others' worlds and characters. They love when people make things based on these characters.

The original appearance of Rainbow Quartz was inspired by a music video from the Cars that Rebecca loved when they were younger. The Cars are referenced a lot throughout the show because their videos were a huge inspiration to Rebecca.

Lapis is very much based on a character from one of Rebecca's comics from the art school days.

Everybody on the Crew had different ideas of how Steven's head connected to his body and how his hair worked; Rebecca felt that they learned from everyone's various ideas.

If you've heard that Rebecca was against Finn being in a relationship while working on Adventure Time, that is not true. Rebecca worked on lots of the Flame Princess episodes. Finn and Flame Princess were still together when Rebecca left the show (last episode "Simon and Marcy").

Greg Universe's sexuality was never explicitly stated on the show, but Rebecca thinks of him as sexually fluid. Regarding him as bisexual is also completely valid--and appreciated by Rebecca as a bisexual creator who puts lots of their own personal traits into characters and feels that bisexual characters are pretty rare. Greg's gender on the show is pretty solidly established as male, so Ian says he is probably not gender fluid, but Rebecca is fine with alternate headcanons about that too.

Some of the earliest concept art from "Mr. Greg" was everybody in suits. Getting everyone in a suit was a primary agenda.

Everyone also wanted Connie to have a Space Camp outfit in the earliest concepts for her design in the movie.

Rebecca used to love doing signings while doing the show because it was like a chance to come up for air and go back to work energized by knowing how many people were touched by the show.

Rebecca Sugar wanted Pink Diamond to feel a bit influenced/inspired, design-wise, by the work of Iwao Takamoto. Rebecca loved his work in the Hanna-Barbera Alice in Wonderland and on Sleeping Beauty.

Rebecca drew the rough of the poster's art and Danny Hynes did the colors. Rebecca loves that they got to do this poster because they didn't get to do the final Comic Con with any art depicting Future or beyond (the finale of Future coincided with the emergence of Covid, so everything was closed down), so this is their way of "going rogue" and doing it!

An early prototype of a Steven/Pearl Fusion was called Coral. Rebecca said maybe they could share some drawings of this Fusion sometime. Rebecca shared this factoid with the viewers while drawing Rainbow Quartz 2.0, and mentioned that Ian boarded the scenes including their introduction.

Rebecca would often draw Garnet with a huge smile on her face whenever Garnet was the requested character--even before Garnet had made an expression like that on any aired episode. They had to be careful not to drop any Garnet lore before viewers knew what her center was about. For the short period before "Alone Together" had aired that they were doing conventions, some people were getting mysteriously grinning Garnets and not being familiar with that expression, but once the episodes aired, they understood for sure.

Shelby Rabara, Peridot's voice actor, is a professional dancer, and she choreographed the tap-dancing in "Mr. Greg" as well as provided the foot-taps that you actually hear in the show during the dancing.

Rebecca thinks of art and writing as just two different ways of expressing what you mean--they're not exactly as different from each other as most people think.

Everyone on the Crew was so excited about Steven's neck as an older teen. Mainly because figuring out how Steven's head joins to his body was an issue in original SU.

Unfortunately, while it was also kinda nice to see so many people enjoying Rebecca's drawings and commentary, there was a lot of rudeness and obnoxiousness in the chat. I know, I know, it's expected; I too live on the internet. But I'm disappointed to say the chat was full of people demanding Black Diamond, or repeating their own name and what character they want every 3 seconds (like, literally, pasting it over and over again for a long period of time), or harassing them about "weird Ed Edd and Eddy art," or spamming "REBECCA WHAT WAS IN THE CHEST," or wanting constantly for them to say hi to them personally, or repeatedly asking if Rebecca has read Homestuck. Or even writing snotty things like "maybe you should stop drawing and get up and give us a new season." Holy shit. can u not

(I didn't want to get a live-signed one, but I did get one of these to be sketched later! Mine is supposed to get Lion on it. I love Rebecca and the SU crew for bringing us new art and fun discussions in 2024.)

[existentialterror]

ARG notes: ZampanioSim

Okay, a work this metafictional and also that (I think) responds to audience interaction is going to need a high-caliber gimmick. Hang on.

...

Alright. Hey guys, catfishAnabasis (Light) here, taking a moment out of my surprisingly busy day tell you about a weird thing on the internet.

ZampanioSim is an intricate and brainbending ARG. It takes direct inspiration from Homestuck, The Magnus Archives, and House of Leaves, as well as the creator (JR, jadedResearcher/justifiedRecursion)'s previous canon of Homestuck fan-work and games. A major theme is "unreality".

HERE IS YOUR TRAILHEAD.

Feel free to ignore the rest of the writeup and check it out now.

I know very little about JR's other work, right now. However, among my many INTERESTS, I am something of a TMA ENJOYER and an AMATEUR INTERNET INVESTIGATOR, and if I were in a HOUSE I like to think I could LEAVE it pretty easily.

So, yeah. I figured I'd just describe my experience of this rabbithole and maybe you'll want to check it out too. I'm sure this will only scratch the surface.

ZampanioSim is structured as a nested labyrinth. In the same way that:

Homestuck is a webcomic framed as an interactive adventure game about an account of kids playing a video game (Sgrub) that doesn't exist, and

House of Leaves is a novel framed as a found scholarly discussion about a documentary (The Navidson Record) that doesn't exist about a house that doesn't exist,

ZampanioSim is a game-based ARG framed as an attempt to simulate a game (Zampanio) that doesn't exist based on a found FAQ of the game (that only sort of exists).

More concretely, ZampanioSim features a lot of nested browser games, as well as audio, narrative, an actual audience-interactive narrative game (the way Homestuck was originally), external websites, and more.

The starting point is, of course, the House:

ZampanioSim takes full advantage of the browser as medium. There is content accessible via the address bar, developer tools, cookies (I think), the developer console, and probably more that I haven't realized.

Like, to give you a sense of the kind of rabbithole we're dealing with: Here's a map I made of the House outset page today:

...And I say today because the House does change over time. Today (a friday) when I clicked on the EastEast route, for instance, I was greeted by this grotesquely distorted version of Rebecca Black's "Friday":

Okay, let's talk about what we have going on in the House map, starting from the doors and working out. (I've given some of these my own names for clarity.)

North

The Classpect Menu Game:

This, I think, is the main titular "ZampanioSim". It's the part that's intended to recreate the experience of a supposed old computer game, but by and large, you only experience the menu screen, not the rest of the gameplay. You can select attributes (based on Homestuck's Classpecting system + the Magnus Archives fears) gain points and select skills and (depending on your seed) eventually "beat the game". It's glitchy, it's a hellscape, there's an entity or two in the menu system that are trying to talk to you. It's great fun. Contains links to a rabbithole (which you can plug passwords into for more secrets) and + some secrets to you in the credits.

(While mostly the aspects seem to add flavor to the menu options, there's a special class called "Waste". This appears in neither TMA nor Homestuck, but comes from a fan or meta-joke that Andrew Hussie and Toby Fox, the writer and a major composer for Homestuck, are classpected* as the "Waste of Space" and "Waste of Time". By telling it you're a "Waste"you're more likely to get weird glitches and new options in your Classpect Menu game run - there's a fun recurring element in some of these games about the game changing depending on who you tell it is playing. I learned about the Waste trick from JR's youtube channel. Also, setting your birthday as Halloween might also do something.)

I have no idea if the different iterations of games here are substantially different. I haven't checked. There's a lot going on. "There's a lot going on" is a good summary of ZampanioSim overall.

*( Uh, classpecting is this in-Homestuck personality system where game players are a [Role] of [Element].)

Eyedlr: Eyedol Games is the company that supposedly made the original game Zampanio. Eyedlr is their spambot-filled tumblr clone, which also has secrets in it. (Actually, just assume everything has secrets out.)

East

The House Exploration game: It has the same setup screen as the Classpect Menu game, but this one drops you into a game with visuals: An infinite(?) procedural house you navigate with imagery derived from your choices.

Peewee's exploration game: When it's not blasting Rebecca Black's Friday But Weird into your ears, the EastEast route is another procedural infinite(?) maze, except that you type directions to Peewee, a snake guy with goggles who also moves around on his own. This one also introduces named characters we learn more about elsewhere.

Bathroom text: Procredural bathroom maze, unless it's just some text telling you to take a break. ZampanioSim really likes telling you to take breaks and hydrate, so that you can better appreciate and spread Zampanio.

Absolutely not. Also, I'm a busy woman. I have to finish this writing summary first.

South

The Train Game: a game - notably not a maze - where JR walks down a series of train corridors and monologues to you about the game and the "reality" behind it.

The mazecrawler game: You tell a little guy how to navigate an infinite(?) maze - and if you choose right and open up your browser's Console menu, you can learn a great deal more about

West

The only West route is AdventureSimWest, which is an actual text narrative game where readers submit commands that the author incorporates into updates - just like early Homestuck. It's still going. The logs are extensive but it's mostly about the antics of a new employee at Eyedol Games, which is stuck in a time loop.

Other

Then there's some other scattered clickable text -

The truth about alt: An exchange between two shapeshifters.

A transcript: A dialogue between two people who apparently work for Eyedol Games.

The lower left leads you to an apparently rotating selection of other Zampanio-related games. I particularly liked NagaGirlfriend.

None of this is even the stuff you can reach this page exclusively through the Console menu.

And much more

And there's a lot of stuff that's NOT branching directly off of the house. There's other things you find buried in links or by searching - a discord and a wiki that both straddle the line between in-character and -out, Archive of Our Own content, a youtube channel, the Eyedol website...

Is there a "story" to ZampanioSim?

Yes.

Like I said, there's a lot I haven't seen yet. But what's going on is something like this:

JR is attempting to recreate this game, Zampanio, of course, and tap into its fanbase. The game Zampanio is an infectious meme. Eyedol Games is a transdimensional company that is perhaps both trying to spread the meme and contain it, by removing its spores, e.g. the Zampanio FAQ - the thing that inspired JR to make ZampanioSim - from the internet.

Various parts of the game recognize that they are fictional and may identify you the reader/player as "Observers".

There are a few recurring characters who have gotten swept up into the meme, either working for Eyedol or trapped in ZampanioSim or both, and have followed it from variant to transdimensional variant.

(this is an image from homestuck. it's a reference.)

Japes aside, this is a brain-bending, very cool, and completely ludicrous unfiction project which I believe is made mostly by one person with an unparalleled hand for web sorcery, whimsy, and vibes. The vibes are so good.

The host website, Farrago Fiction (which AFAICT is a multi-person project), hosts a number of often-homestuck-inspired weird games and simulators.

I know ZampanioSim is now a few years old and is still actively updating. Consider checking it out.

2024-08-24 edit: Part 2!

[leonw4nter]

trying to come up with something to write for leon and my mind conjured up this beauty... i remember someone from somewhere asking what job would leon do if he wasn't a cop + caught up in the raccoon city incident... and my first thought was him being an ASMRtist 😭 i discarded the idea though coz he would not be tapping on things near a microphone for a living... but boy do i think he'd look great doing that :3 walk with me now :3

so let's say pre-RE2 leon decides to do something on the side to pay for expenses and a friend (rebecca maybe) recommends doing youtube and he's like "eh..." coz number one: he's batshit at games and number two: he doesn't know how to edit and then she brings up asmr-- now this makes him think. he's watched asmr before: stuff to help him sleep, to help him focus while studying, or if he's sick and wants to listen to something soothing. he's got a mic lying around, an impulsive purchase when he was in that one phase of his life where he wanted to do lowkey thirst traps while playing a basic song on his guitar (he only knows how to play his favorite parts in songs). never got around to using it daily or post the thirst traps he made, he didn't like the way his voice sounded.

he considers the idea and tries it out. he makes an alternate google account to start his youtube channel on and makes a name (highly likely its something like [Insert adjectives synonymous to calm]ASMR. since he doesn't want people around campus or people who know him to recognize him online, he decided to film showing only his neck down. he does simple editing like cutting out parts then posts it with some title like "ASMR for guaranteed relaxation". after doing it for quite some time, he's got a following that's not too big but pretty impressive for him and he actually likes it. he gets the courage to show his channel to rebecca with the promise that she keeps it secret and she giggles because the comments are just

"raw, next question."

"he looks like he whimpers"

"i knew you'd check the comments like a good boy"

"you should join a band called 'being my husband'"

and she shows them to leon and he's just SHOCKED. like majority of his audience are women that are thirsting over him and are asking for WHIMPER AUDIOS 😭😭 [me]. he's flustered and flattered over it, surprised that the reception to this experimental little thing is positive then he posts a video celebrating some milestone like 1.5K subscribers and the comments are flooded with "OIL UP AT 2K" or "pls make a video where you call us good girl" and he's just floored with everyone's lack of decorum at his comments section but he's thankful that he's well-supported.

OH AND THE DAY HE DOES THOSE BODY TAPPING ASMR VIDS WILL BE WORLD-ENDING. like he opts to wear a t-shirt instead of his usual sweatshirts or hoodies and the comments are either about wanting to bite his bicep, gooning, or "i told my parents about us" OR "reject me so i can move on already". might even see an edit of him on YT shorts idk...

okie dokie that's it :D 👍i want asmrtist leon kennedy send tweet

pompompurin dividers by animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[madamevirgo]

Could i dare request rebecca Ferguson X her younger actress girlfriend? Like she is the new Hollywood face and its always in something doing awesome roles?

And becca goes with her to the oscars to see her winning for the first time and they are so lovey dovey for each other

Promises

Pairing: Rebecca Ferguson x (f!)reader

Words: 3k

Warnings: angst, softness, cheesiness, my writing

A/N: I want you all to know that I immediately started writing this after I finished writing & posting the Lady Jessica one. At around 5am, at its 6pm now. Also, I was going to pair this one with a similar request, but then I got sooo many ideas for this. I loved loved writing this! Thank you for the request :)

I put on my best smile as I stepped in front of the live audience where Jimmy Fallon was waiting for me. I was here to promote my new film, a romcom. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, our first guest tonight Y/n L/n!” I danced my way to the small podium and kissed both of Jimmy’s cheeks, taking the time to blow some kisses to the crowd before settling down on the chair.

“Wow, what an energetic audience,” I said with a laugh as the crowd cheered. 

“That’s right! The last time I interviewed you was during COVID.” He realized 

“Right, I did it with sweatpants on and from the comfort of my place.” He laughed at that. 

“I mean I’ll wear sweatpants next time if you do.” He said, and I extended a hand for a handshake to seal the deal. “Another thing that’s changed is you weren’t an Academy Award Nominee the last time we talked.” And I laughed as the crowd cheered. 

“It’s been quite a journey, Jimmy.” I giggled, feeling heat rush to my face.

“I’ll say! Let’s take a look here.” He reached down to grab a file and I leaned over to see what else he was hiding. He swatted me away playfully and I pouted. “Right, so since the last time we met, you appeared in a Marvel production, a role you’re set to reprise. You became a series regular for a book adaptation, appeared in three music videos, starred in a RomCom, attended the Met Gala, and got nominated for 5 awards, including the best leading actress. And still found the time to see me today.” He pretended to be out of breath, making me and the crowd laugh. 

“I’ll always have time for you, Jimmy,” I said with a sweet smile. 

“See! That’s what I’m talking about. This sweetness that you’re known for, I can’t wait to see it in the RomCom.” the crowd applauded. 

“I wouldn’t count on it. My character is quite different from me.” I said secretively. “And that’s all I’ll say about that. Go watch the movie if you want to know more.” I added as he opened his mouth to no doubt get more information.

“Okay, that's fair. But since we’re on the subject of love,” I rolled my eyes at that, knowing where he was going. “Is there a special someone in your life right now? One you’ll be seeing the movie with?” He added devilishly. 

“Well, there are multiple loved ones I’ll be seeing the movie with.” This caused the crowd to boo at me and I laughed. “Look, all I know is that I’m very happy right now and not lacking love in my life,” I said with a smile. 

“I guess your happiness is what matters ultimately.” He said with a sigh, making me laugh. 

“Thanks, Jimmy,” I said as I squeezed his hand softly. The crowd awed

“Alright, enough cheesiness. We’re taking a quick break, and when we come back - Y/n and I will be playing a game.” He said before turning to me to continue the conversation we were having before going on air, as the crew rushed in. 

———————

I let out a sigh as I was finally able to take off my heels after a long day, before dropping on the couch in my hotel room. Today was the last day of our press tour. We had just flown in from Paris last night and after an early morning, we spent the day running around New York for interviews. Some of them, I did alone - others with my costar who thankfully was a gem. 

Still, it had been an exhausting few weeks, and day - and there was only one thing that I wanted right now. I reached the coffee table where I had dropped my handbag and searched for my phone. I composed a number I knew by heart and waited. 

“Hello?” Instantly, my eyes lit up and a smile appeared on my face. 

“Hi, honey.” I started as I got comfortable on the couch. “Can I FaceTime you?” As soon as I’d uttered the words, I received a request to switch to video. One I was more than happy to accept. 

My smile immediately widened as the face of my girlfriend appeared on the screen. It wasn’t the same as having her with me, but it would have to do for now. 

“There you are,” I whispered

“There you are.” She echoed back and we shared a soft smile. From the looks of it, she had just woken up from a nap on set. I recognized her trailer, and I was suddenly aware of the fact that she was in the UK, in a different timezone. 

“I’m sorry we didn’t get the chance to speak these past few days,” I said softly 

“This is the life we signed up for, Y/n/n.” She said with a soft smile, although her eyes lacked the glint that they usually had. Something was wrong. “I wish we could always be together, but that’s not possible.” She whispered.

This caused me to frown. “Rex? What’s this about? This is only a busy time in our lives, and frankly, we’ve overcome bigger issues.” I said. “You’re done promoting Dune: Part 2, and you’ll finish filming Silo soon. After that, we’ll have some time to ourselves before the crazy starts back again. We just have to get through award season and then things will settle.” I said convincingly. 

“You’re right. It’s just - I was watching your interviews and it sucked to see you avoiding all questions regarding your love life. With the distance, it kinda feels like we’re not together anymore.” She sighs and suddenly lets out a humourless laugh. “This is so stupid, we’ve been dating for two, almost three years! I shouldn’t be so bothered by the distance. I must be getting my fucking period or something.” 

“Rebecca,” I say as my voice breaks. I had no idea she felt like that and seeing her so distraught, broke my heart. 

“I’m sorry, honey.” She says with that same humourless laugh that I despise. It doesn’t hold a candle to her real one. “I guess the long filming hours and going back and forth between Silo and promoting Dune has gotten to me more than I thought.” She sighs and rubs her eyes. 

“Maybe I could-” I’m interrupted by a knock on her trailer door. As she goes to open it, I hear voices, before she reappears on the screen, to end the call no doubt. 

“I’m sorry baby, they’re waiting for me in the writers’ room. I’ll talk to you later, ya?” I nod softly, the lump in my throat preventing me from speaking. She smiles at me before ending the call. 

As I stare at the hotel’s ceiling, I make a decision. 

———-

The second I step outside the airport, I’m greeted by the seemingly permanent English rain. It didn’t take me long, after my call with Rebecca had ended to get my things in order and get on a flight to the UK, where she was filming. 

Thankfully, the press tour for my movie had ended, because that would have put me in a very difficult situation, what with having to cancel some appearances. My girlfriend was sad, and nothing was going to stop me from getting to her. 

As I got into the cab that my assistant had arranged for me, I felt grateful that no reporters were around to hound me. It was still quite early and my disguise of a hoodie and sunglasses protected me long enough from the sight of the few of them lingering around. 

I didn’t spend much time at the hotel. Just enough for a shower and a change of clothes, before I was once again back on the road towards her filming location. I was let into the premises without too much of a hassle. I had the foresight to reach out to Rex’s assistant on the flight over and she had been able to grant me access, and before long I was being led to my girlfriend’s trailer by her assistant. 

“She just finished filming so she’s already in her trailer. I didn’t tell her you were coming as you asked, so she’ll be quite surprised.” She talked quietly. 

It was still early morning on set, some people were either starting to wake up or getting in from filming all night.

“How has she been doing?” I had a vague idea, but I wanted to hear it from someone who was with her when I couldn’t. 

“She’s been exhausting herself a lot. The press tour for Dune is over, but she’s still doing a lot with filming and being an executive director here.” She said sadly, and I nodded. “I’m glad you’re here Y/n. It��ll do her good to see you. I cleared her schedule for the day, so you could at least get some rest together. I know you’ve been busy too. I spoke to your assistant.” She said sternly and I rolled my eyes. These two. 

We arrived at the trailer and my heart started beating a little faster. “Thanks, Kelly, I owe you one,” I said to the assistant as I slipped inside the trailer. 

It didn’t take me long to find her around the vast camper. She was in bed, seemingly asleep. I approached her quietly and sat on the other side which had been left untouched. The side of the bed I usually slept on at home. 

I rubbed her shoulder gently, to not scare her. She opened her eyes softly and looked around, slightly disoriented before settling on me. I smiled. 

“Hi, my love,” I whispered. She stared at me for a few seconds, before sitting up and grabbing my face with both hands. 

“Y/n/n?” She said with wide eyes. “Are you really here?” She asked, roaming over my face and caressing my cheeks as if to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. 

“I’m here, Rex,” I replied with a smile before she latched herself to me in a hug, making me laugh. 

“How? Why?” She asked in the crook of my neck.

“You sounded so sad on FaceTime, I had to make sure you were okay. Plus, I missed you - so I grabbed the first flight here.” I explained as I tightened my hug and kissed her forehead. 

“Thank you.” She whispered. 

“Let’s get some sleep, and then we can talk about what you’re feeling. Okay?” I felt her nod and rearranged our positions so we were lying down. She immediately spooned me. 

For the first time in months, we slept together peacefully. 

—-------------------------

When I woke up, I felt much more at peace. I slowly opened my eyes with a smile, one which widened when I met the eyes of my girlfriend.

“You’re staring,” I whispered, my smile not leaving my face.

She put a hand on my cheek and caressed softly, before leaning down to put her lips on mine. Once we separated, she put her forehead on mine.

“How are you feeling?” I mumbled, not wanting to break the trance we were in.

“How are you feeling? She mumbled back, and I smiled.

“Better now that I’m here.” she rolled her eyes and scoffed. 

“Sap,” she said before taking a break. “Last night, I- It was a lot wasn’t it.” she finished. 

“No, you expressing how you feel will never be a lot or too much,” I added hurriedly. “It just kinda felt like you were on the verge of ending things,” I said quietly, I felt my heart beating widely as I held my breath. 

“Ending things? Y/n. Y/n/n, look at me.” she said as she grabbed my face in both hands forcing me to look at her. “I. Love. You. and it’s because I love you that I am finding our current situation so hard. Not being able to be with you or have you with me in front of everybody to celebrate our achievements. Or how we have to act single or like we’re just friends. I hate reading about the people they’re linking you to romantically. I just want to scream ‘She’s mine. Back off.’ And it’s kinda killing me.” she said as she leaned against the headboard. 

“I am yours,” I said as I grabbed her hands, willing myself not to cry. 

“I know baby. Just like I know you understand and feel the same way,” she said as I looked down. We stayed quiet for a moment, thinking of our predicament and what was being stolen from us. 

“The Oscars,” I suddenly said with renewed hope, as she looked at me in confusion. “I know we’re both technically going with our own cast - but would you go with me as my date,” I asked before quickly adding. “Unless - maybe our agents are right and we sh-” she interrupted me as I felt the doubt take over. 

“They’re not. And we should have never let them silence our love,” she said. “Of course, I’ll go with you. We’ll pose on the red carpet, I’ll kiss you in front of the camera lights and when you win - no one will cheer louder than me,” she said with a wide smile. I was quick to tackle her to the bed, kissing her all over her face. 

Her laughter made my heart sing. 

—-------------

This was not how I wanted the day to go. I was supposed to wake up bright and early, have some breakfast from her favourite cafe in the city delivered to her hotel room at the same time that she would receive the huge bouquet I had ordered weeks in advance.  Then, as we both got ready in our own hotel, we’d be texting like teenagers going on a first date, right until the red carpet. There, I’d see her and rush to her without a care in the world. I would tell her how beautiful she looks and we’d pose for pictures and kiss. Interviewers would have questions about our relationship, and we’d laugh our way through them. Rebecca, answering with her usual charm and wit, and me with heart eyes solely focused on her. 

Instead, my flight from Toronto had been delayed and I was rushing to get ready. I wouldn’t make it to the red carpet on time, with this traffic, only being able to slide in as the awards started. 

I had spoken to Rex when I landed and obviously, she hadn’t been happy.

“Hi, honey! Where are you, it’s kinda loud,” she said joyfully. I could hear the rushing around as her glam team worked. 

“I’m at the airport,” I said and closed my eyes, as there was silence on the other end. 

“I’m guessing you’re not going to make it to the red carpet?” she asked, and my lack of answer confirmed the statement. “Of course, it would’ve been too easy. It was stupid to hope th-” She cut herself off and let out a sigh. 

“Rex, don’t say that. This is nothing, we still hav-” she interrupted me as I tried to fix things desperately.

“I have to go. I’ll see you there.” and with that, she ended the call. 

She hadn’t answered any of my calls or replied to my texts since then. I wanted to believe that they had taken her phone away so they could focus on getting ready, but my anxiety was telling me something else. 

The car rolled up to the venue and I was quickly rushed inside and to my seat as the host was in the middle of his opening monologue. 

“And here comes Y/n L/n, everyone. She’s nominated for best leading actress tonight, ladies and gentlemen.” the audience clapped and I tried to calm my heart as my face appeared on the big screens. But the host wasn’t quite done with me, yet. “Doesn’t she look beautiful? Straight from a fairytale. Although, if I recall correctly, Cinderella rushed out of the ball, not to it.” he said as the audience laughed and I felt myself wanting to die. 

Thankfully he moved on, and the ceremony started. I was almost breaking my neck trying to find Rebecca, and when I did, I tried to catch her eyes - to convey how sorry I was. But she never glanced my way. I was so lost in thought that I would have missed my category coming up if it wasn’t for my costar grabbing my hand in support. 

I held my breath as the nominees were listed. And when I heard my name being called, I felt myself freeze, before being lifted in a hug and passed around from one costar to another. I willed myself to put one foot in front of another as I approached the podium under the congratulations and applause. 

I was almost to the stage when I glanced left and saw Rebecca’s face with a wide smile, clapping widely. That’s one promise that had been kept today. 

She looked beautiful, and it was as if I were in a trance as I approached her. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of her. She looked at me with a soft smile and with anticipation in her eyes, and that was all the invitation I needed to kiss her in front of all of Hollywood. That was another promise kept. 

And later on, when I posed for pictures with my Oscar and I danced at the after party, she was right there with me, as we kept our promises to each other. 

—-------------

“Hi, I’m Y/n L/n and I’ll be reading your tweets,” I said with a smile as I reached into the fish bowl for the first one. 

“Okay, this one is from @lesbianstan2000: Do you think Rebecca Ferguson uses The Voice on Y/n L/n?” I read before letting out a laugh. “She doesn’t need to. I’ll happily do whatever she asks.” I say as I wink into the camera. 

[bookishjules]

any thoughts on how Simon and Isabelle will be around their in laws, I know we got to see a bit of it in the later books but would love to hear your thoughts

anon i will take any chance to talk about rebecca lewis <33 yes, i know there are more inlaws in question, and i will get to them, but i have been dying to talk about becky hehe plus there really is so much more to explore on the lewis side--naturally, since neither elaine nor rebecca have interacted with izzy in canon (insane btw).

sidenote: i kinda love how izzy only ever grew up with brothers, but gained a sister through simon (or two really, since we really must count clary, but you know, we're talking technicalities here), and that for simon, it's the opposite.

anyway, speaking of sisters hehe i genuinely think izzy and rebecca would get along well. i think iz would be a good source of.. fun i guess? for becky. like a good reminder to let loose. and i think becky would be a good resource for izzy, someone with a bit more age and wisdom that she can go to, someone who isn't maryse. and it's not like becky would be the only one offering advice. i think izzy would remind her to put herself first sometimes, to chase what she wants and to be kinda.. undeniable i guess. and i think they would laugh together and i think they would go shopping together, despite their very different fashion senses, and i think becky would maybe make some clothes for izzy and i think they would bond over the matching simon-shaped swell in their hearts.

i think becky is a common presence at the sizzy household. movie nights or game nights, or becky-cooked dinners (she might also try train some better cooking instincts into izzy while she's at it hehe), at least for a while until life things happen etc. i also think, and i know this is thinking a decent way further down the line, but i also think she'll be one of their go-to babysitters, since i don't think she'll get settled with her own family until she's in her 30s, and because i just know she'll want to be part of every second of that.

okay okay i think i need to stop talking about rebecca now or i will end up writing a novel..

i think their relationship with elaine is a lot more.. delicate. they don't see her nearly as often. because they can't be honest about the shadow world, for one, but also because i think she still has a little bit of.. not exactly loose canon, but something akin to that, in her. i think she wishes she got to see her son and daughter in law more, but i think there's this underlying anger for izzy any time they go to elaine's place, because even though it was years ago, izzy's first introduction to her personality was still through the lens of her condemning her son and kicking him out of the house at 16. and i also think izzy's seen how that reaction has affected simon, both in the direct aftermath, and in the years after he got his memories back.

i know levi is dead and wouldn't have any sort of relationship with izzy, but i do think simon would have taken her to levi's grave at some point to introduce them anyway. maybe around their wedding?

i really don't feel like there's much to say about the lightwoods that we haven't already seen, or that can't be easily extrapolated, but in spirit of fairness..

jace and simon are very much jace and simon. it's kinda hard to imagine their relationship changing much more than it already has. the comfortability and familiarity between them, the playful jabs, etc. i do think jace has probably begrudgingly gone to simon for a second (or third after clary, ig) opinion on some plans or strategies etc. he's having to make as an institute head. and i definitely think simon has tried to teach jace dnd, and had him over to play video games more than once.

i think simon and alec's relationship goes through more change than what we've been privy to. i think they have their bonding time doing target practice or over coffee after putting the kids to bed. they talk about politics and work and the sda. they also definitely talk about jace being an idiot lol

when it comes to maryse.. bro maryse is so hard for me. their relationship with her would be much closer than that they have with elaine, of course. and i think in maryse's effort to be more present with her family, she also makes a point to have a personal relationship with simon. they don't really have all that much in common, but simon has always seemed like something of a mom charmer to me. he's funny and smart and knows how to be polite. plus he really really cares about izzy. and i think it means a lot to maryse to see that. call it projection or mother's love or a little of both, but it's nice to have that reassurance that her daughter won't have to go through what she did.

[cenorii]

All theories about RE and etc

I decided to collect everything I wrote about RE in one place. This will be a convenient article in which I will put links to my previous theories and analyses, which I will formalize with a brief description. Now it will be easy for you to navigate. And those who have found my blog recently will be able to see what theories and revelations I have written before.

It will be updated!

💉1. Link. Theory detailing why Wesker couldn't have died in a volcano. And what would be his future path after this event, and how would he cross paths with Chris. It says that this is a theory of the possible RE9 plot, but now I believe that these are possible ideas for the future, not tied to a specific part. There's also a theory about Chris's BOW clones

💉2. Link. Theory of Wesker's leaked concept. I found a lot of oddities.

💉3. Link. Theory of why Wesker's eyes change color and what it depends on.

💉4. Link. I accidentally found a photo of a man who looked like an elderly Wesker when I was playing RE8. Theory of why it's Wesker and not anyone else.

💉5. Link. Video about this photo.

💉6. Link. Psychological analysis of Chris Redfield's personality.

💉7. Link. Psychological analysis of Albert Wesker's personality.

💉8. Link. A small addition to Wesker's analysis.

💉9. Link. Theory of why Wesker's virus is as contagious as HIV.

💉10. Link. I tried to determine which dates Chris, Jill, and Wesker's birthdays were on.

💉11. Link. I was bored and decided to identify every Wesker gun from all the games.

💉12. Link. Generalized theory about RE9. There I wrote the most important thing from the first link, and also added a theory about a photo of an old Wesker with long hair.

💉13. Link. I'm trying to analyze the butterfly effect in the history of RE, specifically from Wesker's side and people's attitudes towards him. How could a different attitude to personality affect the plot of all RE games?

💉14. Link. Detailed analysis of Chris's BOW from the ending of RE8.

💉15. Link. In 2021, Wesker's VA leaked information about some future game with his participation. I figured out this leak and put everything in its place.

💉16. Link. Once again, I find it strange how Capcom writes about Wesker's death. It's like they're trying to convince themselves of this, not the players. There is also a little bit about Jake here.

💉17. Link. Why Wesker is not a secret admirer of Rebecca.

💉18. Link. My thoughts on how I see the RE5 remake.

💉19. Link. There is an interesting date on the PG67A/W label.

💉20. Link. My headcannons about characters, part one.

💉21. Link. My headcannons about characters, part two.

💉22. Link. My headcannons about old Wesker.

💉23. Link. What is Chris's eye color?

💉24. Link. I saw the rumors about the RE9 and tried to be realistic.

💉25. Link. Piers and Jill are very important people to Chris. I told about it in more detail.

[brook1yn-baby]

all mine

main 4 dating hcs <3

characters; kyle broflovski, stan marsh, kenny mccormick, eric cartman x gender-neutral reader

warnings; just a smidge of smut :3

a/n; first actual post 😱 also theyre like 18/19 in this

kyle broflovski:

he’s absolutely lovesick.

bro wrote and performed a love song for rebecca when he was in 3rd grade

you can be damn sure he’s doing that and more for you

only in private though, not big on pda, especially when you’re around his friends

you both know how much he likes you, so he doesn’t feel the need to put on a show when you’re in public

he’ll sling a loose arm around your shoulders while he’s talking to the guys or sit next to you during lunch, little things that tell you he’s still yours

his jealousy does sometimes get the better of him though

probably a little insecure in the relationship, scared he’s gonna lose you to cartman like he did with heidi

one time the five of you were at a party and kyle started squaring up to guy who’d asked you if you were single

sorta gave you the ick but he made up for it by walking you home, giving you a tipsy goodnight kiss and a lopsided grin before stumbling over your porch steps and heading back to stan’s place, the other guys having to hold him up the whole way there

that was the first and last time you’d seen him drink

after you told him about his attempt to fight some random guy, he decided that it’d probably be better for everyone if he stuck to being the designated driver

oh and he loves how close you are with his family

the first time he invited you over for dinner, he was terrified about his parents embarrassing him

almost cancelled when his mom wouldn’t stop saying that her ‘little bubaleh’ was in love

still, you managed to charm them the whole night, asking questions about gerald’s job and helping sheila clean up after dinner, even enduring ike’s constant questioning about if you and kyle were gonna get married

that’s when he knew he’d found the right one

definitely ended the night with your guys’ first kiss <3

stan marsh:

i’m gonna be honest he’s a fucking loser

definitely not the most attentive boyfriend you’ve ever had, but probably the best you were gonna get in south park

it’s a small town and options are slim, so you often had to give stan the benefit of the doubt

absolutely terrible at replying to messages

if you two aren’t physically together, you probably don’t talk

luckily for you, he’s a whiny bitch and will most definitely complain when he’s not with you

meaning most of your free time is spent at his house, listening as he practices guitar, playing video games or just laying in his arms

you could go to his and just nap the whole time and he’d still be happier than if you weren’t with him

you know his relationship with his dad isn’t the best, so you have to be prepared for many late-night ‘can i come over’ texts

most of the time it’s because randy’s drunk or just being a dick and he can’t stand to be around him

and obviously, you’re his safe place

sometimes though, his messages are a little less innocent

he’s a teenage boy at the end of the day, and he has needs

(as do you ;))

you and stan have a pretty stable relationship in comparison to him and wendy, but there’s been times when you two had to go on a break

whether it’s because of his constant need to be around you or his drinking, sometimes you just needed space

you and shelley def complain about him together when you’re on a break

she’s a couple years older but she gets it better than anyone

her own relationship was pretty rocky too, so it was nice to just vent to eachother, probably with a bottle of wine and takeout

it was probably a little weird that you still hung out with his sister when you and him were on a break, but you honestly didn’t care

you and stan never stay broken up for long though, the both of you eventually crawling back

maybe it was a little toxic, maybe you knew it wasn’t really gonna last, but for now, you had him and he had you

that’s all that mattered <3

kenny mccormick:

good old kenny mcwhoremick.

despite the rumours of his promiscuous lifestyle, his body count was actually significantly lower than you expected

not that you cared; you were actually quite happy that he was so experienced- not many boys your age knew how to pleasure both themselves and their partner

he wasn’t just great in bed, either

he’s quick to fall for you, infatuated with you after just a few meetings

immediately takes on a sort of caring role in the relationship, definitely protective, similarly to how he looks after karen

it was nice to have someone so doting, though you had to remind him a few times that you could take care of yourself

he simply shakes his head, stubborn as ever

speaking of karen, you adored her

anytime kenny invited you to his house, you spent most of your time playing dolls with her or letting her do your hair

he loved how motherly you acted towards her

probably got him thinking about starting a family with you tbh

he absolutely loves showing you off, be it with pda, on social media, whatever

you were his and he wanted everyone to know

definitely has a highlight on insta dedicated to photos of you, and a playlist of songs that remind him of you

(also of songs that he’d thought about fucking you to)

though you do spend lots of time at his house now, he was really against the idea when you first started dating

you’d suggest watching a movie at his place and he’d come up with some excuse to do it at yours instead

it wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend time with you, he was just embarrassed of where he lived after years of teasing from the other boys

one day you decided to show up out of the blue, wanting to surprise him for his birthday with presents

he’s gobsmacked when he opens the door, quickly trying to divert your attention away from the mess in his living room, his parents passed out on the couch

you reassure him that you don’t mind, asking if he wanted you to go; you really wanted to stay and see his reactions to your gifts, but you weren’t going to push him if he was uncomfortable

he was relieved when you said you didn’t mind, finally inviting you in

it was the first time he’d let a partner into his house which was terrifying in itself, but he calmed down when he saw how relaxed you seemed, getting comfy on his bed and waiting for him to open his presents

you obviously didn’t care how messy his home was, or how his parents weren’t the best at looking after their kids

you only cared about him <3

eric cartman:

listen, as much as i love the enemies to lovers trope with cartman, i love the fake dating trope even more

(and i love combining the two the most teehee)

cartman had recently received some pretty embarrassing information about you, and decided to make the most of it while he’s coming up with his newest scheme

you had had a crush on one of the other boys in your class for a few months and, even though you’d only told your closest friends, somehow he’d found out

so, in order to make heidi jealous, he’d forced you to be his pretend partner in exchange for not telling your crush you liked him

it was humiliating- having to hold his hand as he walked you to class, sitting with him at lunch, enduring his sickly-sweet pet names..

..only at first, though

after a few weeks, you’d come to enjoy the routine the fake relationship provided

you also found that you actually liked spending time with eric, and he could be pretty funny when it was just you two

you did your best to shove your feelings down, slightly ashamed and pissed off that you liked him, of all people

still, it couldn’t be helped- you had stopped staring longingly at your crush during class, eyes fixed on cartman across the room

it didn’t help that heidi didn’t seem too jealous either, causing him to ramp up the ‘pretend’ affection

when you were around him, he acted like he couldn’t get enough of you; playing with your hair, caressing your face, all the while keeping a strong arm around your shoulders, like he wanted to keep you close to him

as much as you liked the attention he was giving you, it was infuriating knowing he was only like this to get heidi back

it all came to a head when he tried to kiss you as she walked past you both in the hallway

you pushed him back, all of the feelings you’d been forcing down suddenly overflowing, choking on tears as you walked away

you knew when he didn’t bother following you that this relationship really was just pretend to him

it wasn’t until later that night when he showed up on your doorstep, hands in his pockets, sighing, that you realised maybe you were wrong

he obviously wasn’t big on apologising but tried his best, looking slightly annoyed as he admitted that he’d only blackmailed you into being his fake partner because he knew you’d say no if he actually asked you out

his logic was completely insane to you, but from eric’s point of view, he genuinely saw it as his only option to call you his partner

your heart melted as you thought about how he went through all that just because he had a crush on you

you don’t say anything in response, shocking him a little as you walk towards him, wrapping your arms around him and laying your head on his chest

sure, you’d hugged before, but it was awkward and emotionless, just pretend

this was different- his arms enveloped you, pulling you close as you felt him laugh

he was most definitely gonna tease you later for being ‘obsessed’ with him, but you could deal with it

after all, you were really, actually his <3

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Okay... so I'm pretty sure the "Play My Way" song is canon considering its an official Amanda 2 song and it's listed in the games credits.

So I'm also gonna consider the two animations the song is based on as canon, too. Bear with me.

If we consider all 3 videos canon then things get really interesting.

Timeline wise, I think all three videos take place before the first game.

The first where everything in the Hide and Seek tape goes smoothly where it's just a storyboard happens before Amanda and Wooly got trapped. I think this may have been a pilot to the animated series. It feels like it sets up what Amanda The Adventurer was supposed to be like. Amanda and Wooly are super friendly with each other, plus Wooly is missing his ears just like the games original pilot.

The second version might be sometime after they got trapped. Supposedly Amanda didn't originally remember her life as Rebecca in the first game right? I think this might be where she started to notice something off. When they replay the Hide and Seek tape, Amanda clearly gets the feeling they've done this before. I'm so sure about Wooly here tho.

Now let's talk about the song on its own, ignoring the timeline and just acknowledging that the characters find this tape familiar.

By the third time (the song), Amanda clearly notices that they've done this before and freaks out. And I think here if Wooly didn't notice something off before, he does when his part comes when he's repeating the lines from the animatics he sounds really unsure? "Right, you're the best... you must play this a lot." Like there's a weird sense of unease in his voice when he says this.

The chorus to me feels really interesting because I feel like we're getting Amanda's true feelings about this situation.

"Now watch us play our part. Now watch us dance and sing. Don't want to fall apart like kids who never seem to scream."

I love the puppet-like vibes these lyrics give off.

After this it seems like the tape resets cuz it's suddenly Amanda's turn again. And Wooly seems like he's really frustrated that he's not getting his turn. But Woolys verse is the most interesting to me.

"Now watch us play our part. Now watch us dance and sing. Don't let it break your heart just play along and-" He gets cut off.

This almost sounds equally passive aggressive as Amanda's chorus. There seems to be an equal amount of resentment. But the "just play along" part seems very fitting for Wooly. One thing I think about Wooly is he seems very avoidant of things that upset him. And it got me wondering if the reason he's always trying to redirect things isn't because it's some "job" of his, instead he simply doesn't like it. He doesn't like tragic stories he doesn't like talking about death or people you trust hurting you. But a lot of these things seem like things that Hameln intentionally wanted in the show so I'm really starting to belive that Wooly himself is the one who doesn't want to talk about it.

Another thing I find weird is how adamant Wooly was about wanting a turn and then how the moment Amanda was gone, he started to panic. As his verse continues after Amanda's chorus, he sounds more and more upset. I can't wait till the animation for this comes out because I really wanna know what Wooly was talking about when he says, " I don't wanna go in there." Omg. Didn't Amanda say that once?

Now, when he finds the "cat under the box," this time it's Mr. Fox? And then Amanda sings about killing someone. I don't think it's Wooly because, continuity wise, that doesn't make sense. We found out that killing Wooly does nothing he just comes back. So Amanda wouldn't try it twice, right? So I think it's Mr. Fox before the first game. Maybe Mr. Fox was a character similar to the opossum? Idk why Amanda would kill Mr. Fox unless if he was in their way. Actually, I know it isn't Wooly because Wooly is still alive at the end of the song- (imagine the music video comes out and makes me look like a fool)

I also wonder what Amanda's "it's you" is supposed to mean. Maybe Kate was the one watching this tape?

Anyway, these are my observations and theories. They are kinda messy and subject to change, but what do you think?

[moonlightspencie]

Help Me Hold on to You

Description: Ted and the reader struggle with balancing mental health and everyday life. (Based on The Archer by Taylor Swift)

Pairing: Ted Lasso x fem!Reader

Warnings: depictions of anxiety and panic

Word Count: 8.9k

A/N: one of my all time favs that i’ve written (and, not to sound conceited, one of my favs in general bc it was super self-indulgent hehe). originally posted on tumblr. then dropped onto ao3. now it’s back on tumblr.

“Hey, Y/N. Whatcha up to?” Ted burst into your shared office, a wide-eyed look on his face.

You shook your head with a smirk, “Just going over the last game, trying to figure out what we can do better next time.”

You paused the video on your laptop, shutting it and looking up to him expectantly. He pulled a chair up next to you, suddenly looking a little nervous.

“I know that look, Ted. What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, plastering on a smile. “Nothing.”

“You wouldn’t have come interrupting me unless you had something you wanted to talk about.”

His face dropped, nodding slowly. “I’m getting kind of sick of you reading me like a book, sweetheart.”

“No, you’re not.”

He chuckled, looking back at you. “Okay, guilty. Uh, I’m not sure how to address this, so I guess I better just come out and say it, huh?”

You nodded back at him, silent, but with a reassuring smile.

He clapped once. “So, uh, nobody really knows about this, but I’ve been dealing with some anxiety lately. I, uh— I don’t really want anyone knowing about it, so if you could…”

“I’ll be quiet as a mouse in a trap.”

He raised a brow. “Morbid.”

“My colloquialisms can’t be as silly and polished as yours, friend.”

He smiled. “Guess not. Don’t really have room in my head for ‘em right now, though.”

You shrugged. “That’s okay. I like you whether or not you’re acting like a landscaper’s favorite machine.”

He paused for a moment, trying to put the pieces together. Then, his face lit up.

“Chipper?”

You simply pointed at him with a wink.

“Nice,” he said with a smile. He looked back down to his hands, smile melting. “So, um, I guess I just wanted you to know. That was the reason I had to leave the game, actually. It wasn’t food poisoning, but it just seems easier to let people believe that, you know? But, anyway. You seem to be good with these kinds of things, and I just… I don’t know.”

“Sometimes it’s nice just to tell someone, yeah?”

He nodded with a small grin. “Rebecca’s seen it happen once, but I think that’s about it. I made an appointment to speak with the doc, but I just couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged, head shaking. “It’s bull.”

“Ted, you remember what you told me when I talked to you about my issues with trust?”

He raised a brow. “I told you nobody good would hurt you like…”

“You told me that all people are different people. You’ve said it a few times around me, I know you’ve told other people the same. And you know what?”

“What?” His brows sat raised.

“You need to start taking your own advice.”

“I don’t like when you do that.”

“Do what?” You laughed.

He chuckled with you. “When you’re right. I’m not supposed to be a quitter, either.”

“Not for the good things, anyway, huh?”

He nodded. “Thank you.”

He started standing, but you stood with him before he could go anywhere.

“Hey, there’s something I want you to know, too.”

“Shoot,” he said, gesturing for you to continue.

“I deal with anxiety, too. A lot, actually.”

He furrowed his brow. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want you to worry.”

“Well, now I am.”

“Don’t. I can cope, I just— I want you to know you’re not alone in this, okay? I get panic attacks, anxiety attacks, I deal with more minor symptoms pretty much every day. And you know what? It doesn’t make me any less of a person. Doesn’t make you, either.”

You saw the tears that began to prick his eyes, but decided to leave that situation alone. Instead, you pulled him in for a hug. He hugged back hard, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You heard him take a few shaky breaths before he pulled back, wiping at his eyes.

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t ever apologize for vulnerability. Least not to me, cause I know exactly how you’re feeling and it’s okay. I promise,” you reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze.

He smiled at you, trying to hold back from letting any more tears fall.

“Thank you.”

“It’s nothing, Ted. I do want you to try going back to doctor Sharon, though. She’s a good woman.”

He nodded, glancing at where your hand still held his own. He squeezed it again, then left you to get back to your work. You sat for a while, unable to focus on anything but what he’d told you. You hoped like hell he had really listened to you.

It wasn’t until the next day that you’d found he’d both listened to and simultaneously completely ignored you. You were walking down the hall from the office when you saw him.

“Hey,” you called out to him, both hands on his chest to stop him from moving when you got close enough. “Your appointment is supposed to be right now. What happened to—”

“I can’t do it.”

He grabbed one of your wrists, trying to move you. You refused to budge.

“No. Uh-uh. Why did you leave?”

“I’m not talking to someone who’s only there cause she’s paid.”

You raised a brow. “Excuse me, Lasso. Are you not getting paid to do your job?”

He huffed out a sigh.

“Don’t you get attitude with me,” you dropped your hands, but didn’t move from where you stood. “I gotta go, but you’re trying again tomorrow, you hear me?”

“Y/N—”

“You’re going. Non-negotiable.”

He dropped his shoulders. “Fine. I’ll try.”

You nodded once, a smile of victory on your face. “And by the way, I think Keeley’s smoking in the boot room. Might wanna see what that’s about, yeah?”

He tilted his head, a chuckle leaving him. You patted him on the shoulder as you passed to leave the building.

Your day from then on was a long one. You were running around with Beard for part of it, trying to work on strategy for the upcoming game against Man City. The whole Richmond team was on edge, and you were beginning to worry that the nervousness alone might end up being the end-all to the game. You were a firm believer that winning had as much to do with the power of the mind as the power of the body. If they were going in thinking they were going to lose— lose they would.

“That’s a little dramatic,” Beard said over his beer.

You rolled your eyes, sipping at your drink.

“It’s not. Same line of thinking as Ted’s ‘Believe’ sign. I’m just being a little more explicit about what I mean when I say it.”

He chuckled. “You two are more alike than I think you even realize, you know?”

“I think I realize.”

“Do you?”

You shrugged, nodding slightly.

“Both crazy about this team, and even more crazy about you,” you teased, flicking at the brim of his hat.

He hid a smile behind his glass. “Your never-ending optimism and knack for flattery is also pretty similar.”

You hummed in agreement. “Can’t argue with ya, there.”

“So, what do you think we should do, then?”

You shrugged. “Find some way to cheer up the team. Get them excited for the game rather than scared of losing.”

He nodded, brows raised. “Any way of implementing that?”

“I’ll figure it out, I’m sure.” You leaned back. “Remember that game against Kansas State? Our boys were so freaked about it all, then Ted did his thing and got them so excited to play…”

“Beat their asses.”

“Yeah, we did.”

You both went in for a quick high five before continuing.

“Remember how he did it?”

“Told ‘em they needed to loosen up. We had a dance party and ordered pizza.”

You smiled. “Yep. What do you say we make something like that happen again? Day before we travel, let’s do it.”

He smirked, a brow raised. “Sounds perfect. You gonna tell Ted?”

You shrugged. “I think he could use the surprise just as much as the players.”

He narrowed his eyes at you.

You put your hands up. “What’s that look about?”

He just shook his head silently.

“I’m not treating him any different.”

He raised a brow, sipping at his drink again.

“Ted’s been going through it lately, I just think he needs a little cheer up. Nothing else.”

He set down his drink, then sat up straight, eyes still trained on you.

“Quit lecturing me, Beard,” you chuckled. “I know you always think I have some thing for him, but why can’t it just be that I care about people, huh?”

“I see through it.”

You paused for a moment. “I hate that.”

He smirked, and you both finished eating.

You went home yourself, denying a walk-back from Beard. You appreciated the gesture, but the air was beginning to feel thick and suffocating. The last thing you wanted was for him to see you like that.

As much as you tried pretending like the state of the team wasn’t affecting you, you knew that trying to be the fixer for this situation was weighing on you. More than you thought it would.

You tried swallowing, feeling your throat pretending to swell just to spite you. You rushed even faster towards your flat, feeling that the oncoming attack wasn’t going to be so routine.

As soon as you were in your door, your knees hit the floor, head between your arms on the carpet. You tried to control your breathing, but it was no use. Tears fell, though you’d hardly noticed as you’d refused to open your eyes. The bleariness you were bound to find if you opened them would only make the situation worse. You began to worry about passing out if you couldn’t control your breathing, and decided to roll yourself onto your side, whole body pushing through tremors you hadn’t felt in a few months, at least.

The ringing of your phone didn’t aid your situation. You desperately hoped it wasn’t an emergency, because there was no way you’d be able to make it over to where you’d dropped your purse. But, it kept ringing. Four separate calls over the span of probably half an hour.

It was another good half an hour after the calls had stopped before you were composed enough to open your eyes, and pull yourself into a sitting position on the ground. Though, you wouldn’t have known. Time never seemed to make any sense in those situations.

You worked on breathing in and out slowly, wiping away at any remaining tears. The shaking hadn’t yet ceased, but at least that was manageable. Right as you started trying to stand, you heard the loud buzzing of someone asking to be let in. You made it over, asking who was there.

“It’s me. Are you okay?” Ted’s voice came through.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Hang on,” you said, letting him in.

It wasn’t long before a knock was at the door, and you wished he wasn’t so quick. No amount of post-panic-primping in a fifteen-second slot could make you look presentable enough to get past him. You opened the door, putting on a smile and hoping he would be too preoccupied with something else to look directly at you for too long.

His face dropped the second he saw you, of course.

“What’s wrong?”

You shook your head. “I’m okay.”

He walked in, leaving you to close the door and follow him.

“No way, McConaughey. You can’t hide tears from me, I got eagle eyes for that sort of thing.”

You crossed your arms. “I’ve just had a long night.”

He watched you for a moment, picking up on the fact that you wouldn’t be sharing any time soon. He nodded slowly.

“Okay, that’s fine. If you don’t want to talk right now, that’s okay,” he smiled softly, then wrapped you in a tight hug.

You welcomed it, arms wrapping around his middle, head buried in his chest.

“You were honest with me,” you started after a moment, “so, I guess I should be with you. I just came down from a pretty bad panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, hardly made it home… I just—”

“It’s okay,” he said, rubbing your back as he spoke. “We don’t have to talk about details. Thank you for telling me.”

You nodded. “Thank you for coming.”

“You always answer when I call. I knew something had to be up.”

“What if I was just in the shower?”

“You still always call me back right away. I had over an hour of radio silence from you.”

You chuckled. “I didn’t know you had it down to such a science.”

He laughed back, pulling away from you just enough to see your face.

“There she is,” he said, a smile on his face.

“And she is a mess.”

“We all get a little messy sometimes, though, don’t we?”

You nodded. “Gotta agree with that.”

He looked at you for a moment or two with a soft smile on his face, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, especially since Beard was also on your ass about it, that was the moment you knew. You felt your heart rate pick up, and didn’t know what to do but escape. You stepped back, leaving him looking a little confused.

“I think I need some sleep, Ted.”

His eyes were wide, looking at you. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I just need time alone, now. I need rest.”

“Okay, yeah,” he nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Uh, alright, well I will see you tomorrow bright and early, right?”

You nodded, giving him a quick smile.

“Anything else I can do for you?”

You shook your head. “No. I’m okay.”

He nodded again, watching you with those big, worried eyes. You wished he would stop with that. He waved a quick goodbye, leaving you alone.

You settled into bed, though you were unable to sleep. You couldn’t stop thinking about the team. Or Ted. Or the fact that you couldn’t help but self-sabotage any chance you got. You wiped away a few stray tears, and closed your eyes, hoping sleep would take over soon.

You woke up from a couple hours of sleep to a text. Of course, from Ted.

- Excited to see you today for coaches meeting :) I’m proud of you

You sighed, setting your phone down next to you. The guy didn’t seem to have a single mean bone in his body, and here you were wallowing in the fact that you couldn’t help but feel like you brought down everyone around you. As much as you tried to remain positive in every situation, you knew your mood affected the people around you whenever you were a little down in the dumps. You got up, hoping you could at least try to disguise it as well as possible for the day. At least for the morning.

You stopped to get coffee on the way in, delivering each drink with a smile. You sat next to Ted to watch the tapes, giving him the most convincing smile you could.

“You seem better today,” he said quietly, a smile on his face.

You nodded. “Yeah.”

The next few days you were preoccupied with setting up the party for the team, and luckily it kept you busy enough to not fall back into the hole you’d had to crawl out of. If there was one thing you were proud of, it was your ability to pull yourself out of the hardest places. Maybe it wasn’t always through the best methods, but you figured that doing what you needed to was working just fine. If it ain’t broke, after all.

“Howdy, howdy!” Ted chimed, walking in.

You shut your laptop quickly, still taking pride in the fact that you were successfully keeping the event from him.

He quirked a brow, nodding towards your laptop. “What’s that about?”

“Nothing you need to worry about right now. What’s up?”

He rubbed his hands together, leaning against your desk with a cheesy grin.

“Guess.”

“You got another jar of barbecue sauce?”

He laughed. “Yes, actually, but that’s not what this is all about, buttercup. It’s about you.”

You furrowed your brow. “What?”

“Well, kinda,” he said with a light chuckle. “I’ve been seeing the doc a lot more frequently, now.”

You lit up. “Oh, I’m so proud of you!”

“You’ll be even more proud in a second. Get this, she actually said that she’s glad me and you are friends.”

You crinkled your nose, laughing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I told her about all of your help over the past few sessions, and she told me to tell you, little lady, that I am lucky to have you.”

He nudged your shoulder as he ended the sentence, and you hoped he wouldn’t notice how you tried hiding a smile.

You felt heat rise to your cheeks as he finished out by saying, “I gotta say, I agree with her.”

“In that case, you’re welcome.”

He smiled again, hopping up to sit on your desk. “So, what are you up to?”

“You’ll find out later. Later today, actually.”

He raised his brows. “Oh yeah?”

You nodded, “Mhm. I really think you’re gonna love it, too.”

He gasped, “Did you get me those funky shoes from Gucci I showed you the other day?”

“What?” You scrunched up your face. “No, of course not. Those things were horrible.”

He paused, as if to say something, before raising his brows and nodding in agreement.

“Okay, so what is it?”

“Wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I told you, would it?”

He dropped his shoulders. “Aw, come on. Telling me you have a surprise and not saying what it is… That’s worse than telling your dog you’re going on a walk then leaving him home.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“You’re right, that’s just evil. But you know I like to know things.”

You reached over, patting his knee. “I know, but I think you can survive til after practice.”

“Training,” he corrected.

“Ted, we’re both American. You don’t need to adjust your language with me.”

“See, that’s why I love talking to you,” he laughed, poking at your shoulder.

You shook your head, “Okay, now get out of here so I can finish up.”

“I’ll see you at practice, huh?” He raised an eyebrow, looking a little too pleased with himself for switching up his terminology.

You laughed. “See you there, coach.”

Beard walked in a while later, looking at you expectantly.

“Yes, I’m almost ready. Pizza will be here about ten minutes before we’re done, so I’ll excuse myself a little early, and I’ve got Keeley and Higgins doing some decorating in the locker room while we’re out.”

“You know my favorite thing about you?” He asked as he sat down in his seat.

“Fact that you don’t have to actually say anything to talk to me?”

He smirked, nodding. “Exactly.”

You both laughed, then sat back and waited for the boys to make it to the locker room. Ted came in, a big smile on his face as he did.

“Hey, there are two of my favorite people on this whole planet!”

“Still not telling you,” you said, giving a glance at Beard.

He only shook his head, going back to his book.

“Hey!” Ted exclaimed, pointing to Beard. “You know, too?”

“Know what?” Nate asked as he walked in.

You kept talking, “Keeley and Higgins, too. Oh, and Rebecca, actually, but she can’t be a part of it today.”

Ted glared at you as he went to his desk chair, Roy coming in behind him as he did.

“You talking about what Keeley told me she can’t tell me about?”

“Yep,” you responded, leaning back in your seat.

He grunted in response, arms crossing over his chest. You all worked on the game plan for ‘training’, then headed out with the team to get started on the last home practice before the big game. You knew nerves were high the whole time, and were all the more focused on making sure your little pizza party was a relief for everyone. You excused yourself to bring in the pizzas with your two accomplices, and then waited outside the door until the team came barging in. You heard shouts of approval from them all as they saw the decor and food, smiling as the work you’d done was starting to prove to be a good idea. Beard and Ted wandered in a moment after the last boy was in the locker room, a smile on Ted’s face as he heard them all.

“This the surprise?” He asked as he approached you.

You smiled, nodding. Beard moved past you to enter.

“Remember Kansas State?”

He raised his brows, smile only growing. “You didn’t.”

You nodded once more. “I did.”

He scooped you up in a hug, spinning you around.

“You are the best,” he said, setting you back down with a kiss to your cheek. Luckily, the smile on your face could easily be chalked up to the surprise paying off rather than the show of intimacy from your friend. “Well, come on, let’s shake a leg so I can shake some booty.”

You laughed at that, following behind him into the chaos.

“Hey!” He called out to everyone. “Y’all say thank you to Y/N for all this.”

A chorus of ‘thank you’s erupted, and you laughed as Ted pulled you into his side.

“Couldn’t have done it without Keeley and Higgins, y’all. They did all the decorating, I just recycled an old idea of coach, here.”

The team chuckled, then went back to celebrating as the music started.

He looked to you, eyes narrowed. “You’re being way too modest. This happened cause you put your heart and soul into this team.”

“I learned from the best, Lasso.”

He looked at you quietly, a small smile on his face, then shook his head. He pulled you into the small crowd, and you all spent the next couple hours letting loose before you had to check in with reality again.

The party seemed to have helped. Morale was up as you prepared for the game, and at minimum you knew that even if you still lost, they likely wouldn’t take it quite as hard. That helped your conscience, if anything.

One more thing that took a weight off of your shoulders was what happened before the game even started. Ted told the other coaches about his struggles with anxiety before the game. He came clean about it all, and you knew he felt good about finally letting it go to them. As the others started walking out, you held him back, making sure he knew just how proud of him you were.

“I wish I had your confidence.”

He patted your back. “But, you also love your privacy. That’s okay, you know? You also do a much better job holding it down than I do when it comes to this type of thing.”

You swallowed. “I’m not so sure about that. I know how to cope the best way I can, but I think it’s much more brave that you decided to open up to them about this.”

“Hey, don’t be hard on yourself about this,” he said, a hand on your shoulder. “Besides, I’m only doing okay right now cause I’m seeing the doc so often.”

“You saying I need to see someone about this?”

He shook his head. “No. You helped me realize that, for me, going to see her was what I needed. I hope in some way I can help you realize that you should do whatever is best for you. We’re all different people with different experiences, right?”

“Right. Thanks, Ted.”

You sighed. Leaning into his side for a moment, then broke away, clapping once.

“Okay, now let’s go win this.”

The game was lost, but everyone moved past it. You knew most of that was because of Ted and his affection for the goldfish attitude, though he tried like anything to convince you they wouldn’t be feeling so okay if it wasn’t for the little morale boost you’d given everyone before it all started.

He’d also inadvertently managed to convince you to see Dr. Fieldstone.

You knocked on her door, and she looked up from her seat to see you staring at her with a smile from the doorway.

“Come on in, coach,” she said, gesturing at the chair in front of her.

You nodded, looking around the room as you sat. You noted the little bird next to you, tapping it just enough to get it going.

“I like your decorations,” you said with a smile, then looked back at her. “Also, please call me Y/N. I hardly let the boys get away with calling me coach outside of games.”

She smiled. “I see.”

“So, uh, it’s good to finally talk with you. I know we’ve seen one another in passing a few times, but I’ve been exceptionally busy lately or else I would have come and given a proper hello. I really appreciate all of the work you’ve been doing with the team. You seem like a very kind, compassionate woman. I’m happy to have you here, honestly.”

She just watched as you talked, a light grin on her face as you did, though most of the humor rested in her eyes.

You paused for just a moment, though when she didn’t speak up, you took it as an invitation to keep going.

“Uh, so, I’m not really sure how this goes. I’ve only been to see a therapist once before and it didn’t go great. Though, I promise I won’t hold it against you. I’ve just learned how to cope on my own after that experience, but Ted kind of convinced me to try to find what would work best for me moving forward, and I thought—”

“I see why you two are so close,” she chuckled. “I feel as though I know you already.”

Your brows raised. “Really? How so?”

“Well, between how talkative you’ve become now that you’re nervous, and the fact that I’ve heard quite a lot about you in general, I’d say I have an idea of who you are.”

You let out a quick laugh. “Gosh, I’m sorry. I get kind of chatterbox-y when I talk to someone new.”

“Or when you get nervous, yeah?”

You nodded slowly, looking down for a moment. “Yeah. That, too. Guess it kinda goes hand-in-hand with some of my anxiety business, huh?”

She shrugged, though gave you a look that implied she’d agreed with your statement. You smirked, as did she.

“You said you’ve seen a therapist once before?”

You nodded. “Yes, but it didn’t seem to help. They hardly listened to me, and then told me that maybe exercising and breathing exercises would help. Gave me that advice four sessions in a row without really ever caring to know why I was dealing with panic and anxiety and everything else.”

She raised a brow. “I’m sorry you had to experience that. Now, I know you might not be able to trust me—”

“Oh, no. I totally trust you, Doc. I’ve seen how great you’ve been with the team, and I learned from a good friend a long time ago that everyone has a different story. You don’t deserve to be compared like that.”

Her brows really shot up with that being said. She nodded slowly, writing something down as she did.

“Well, thank you for that. That was kind of you to say.”

You smiled at her. “I appreciate you. Really.”

“This need to reassure the people around you, do you think that might have anything to do with what you’re struggling with?”

Your eyes widened, almost shocked at the statement. You understood now how she’d made so much progress with Ted. You continued talking about what you needed to, but the session was coming to a close quickly.

“Uh, one more thing, doc?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“Thanks for what you said about me to Ted.”

She quirked a brow. “And what was that?”

“You told him I was good for him.”

“You are,” she said, nodding. “I think the both of you need to be reminded that you don’t always have to turn on the personality for someone to love you. I think you do that well. Both of you.”

You chuckled. “You… Are one wise woman, Dr. Sharon.”

She laughed. “I am pretty great at my job.”

“Well, thank you again,” you said, starting to walk towards the door.

“Y/N,” she called out, and you turned. “Try to remember that the whole world isn’t on your shoulders, yeah? You believe everyone deserves to know love and comfort, but you are one of those people, too.”

You nodded, taking in a deep breath, then said your goodbyes. You pulled out your phone as you left her office. Being the last appointment for the day, you knew most people had already gone home, but you felt like getting some food. You dialed Ted’s number and waited expectantly, heading towards the door.

He answered, but didn’t speak.

You furrowed your brow, exiting the building.

“Ted?” You asked, waiting for a reply.

His voice came through, shaky and nervous-sounding. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Whoa, hold on, what’s up with you?”

“I— I’m kind of…” he trailed off, taking in a hard breath.

“Are you at home?”

You started walking more quickly, heading towards his flat.

“Yeah.”

“I’m coming to you, okay?”

You heard a sniffle on the other end, and a weak ‘okay’ in response. You hung up, and practically ran the rest of the way there. He buzzed you in, and you were up the stairs, bursting into his apartment in no time. He was sitting on his couch in his undershirt and khakis, clearly having been in the middle of undressing when he got hit with whatever ailed him.

You rushed over to the couch, standing next to him. He looked up at you, still crying.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked softly, reaching over to touch his arm.

He shook his head. “Not yet.”

“Can I hug you?”

He nodded quickly, standing up and clinging to you like a child. You held him, hands rubbing up and down his back as he cried, head shaking every so often, disagreeing with the thoughts in his own head.

“I can’t even…” he trailed, mumbling against your shoulder.

“What is it, hun?” You asked, still trying to calm him as much as possible.

“Am I a shitty dad? I don’t—”

“No, no. Of course you aren’t.”

“I can’t even pick up my son from a sleepover. He had a nightmare and wanted to go home and I couldn’t be there for him,” he turned his head, cheek against your shoulder now.

You reached up to run your nails through his hair. “You’re like the best dad I could think of. Even thousands of miles apart, you spend more time talking to your kid than I ever got with my dad in the same house. He knows you love him.”

“I quit on his mom. I’m not supposed to be a quitter.”

“You didn’t quit. You didn’t forfeit. Game time was up, the match was over. Nothing you could do at that point, Ted.”

He sniffled, then nodded. “You really think so?”

“You were both fighting so long for something that only hurt the both of you. It was coming to an end naturally. You just finally had the strength to let it end, even though it was hard.”

He nodded again, and fell silent for a few minutes, still holding on to you for dear life.

“Ted?” You asked.

He hummed in question.

“Can I get you some water? I don’t want you to get dehydrated.”

“Yeah,” he said, then let you go, sitting back on the couch.

You filled up a glass from the tap, handing it to him and kneeling in front of him. He drank some, then handed the glass back to you to set down on the coffee table.

“Good, thank you for drinking some,” you smiled.

He laughed humorlessly. “I’m a child.”

“You just need to be cared for a little bit right now. I know stuff like this is all new to you still, I don’t think being comforted and coddled a little is gonna hurt all that much.”

He smirked. “I guess not. Thank you. For coming here.”

You stood, going to sit next to him.

“It’s nothing. You’d do the same for me. Heck, you kind of have already, you just didn’t have to witness the crying part.”

He chuckled. “That’s… Embarrassing. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not embarrassing at all,” you said, then leaned back into the cushions. “You feel like food?”

“I don’t know if going out right now—”

“I was going to order in. Thought we could watch tv or a movie or something and hang out for a while.”

He looked to you with a soft smile, nodding.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

The next day, you woke up feeling better than you had in a while. You felt well rested, and even went to pick up coffee for everyone despite it not being a film-watching day. You made your way to the office, though you found it much more somber than you were expecting.

“Whoa,” you started as everyone watched you walk in with the tray of drinks. “Who died?”

Apparently that was a poorly timed question.

You showed up at the funeral, heading right to Rebecca for a hug.

“Hi, love,” you said, squeezing her a little tighter than normal. “You okay?”

She nodded. “I’m alright.”

You pulled back, giving her a smile. “For what it’s worth, you look hot.”

She laughed, “Charming as always, my friend.”

“It’s what I do best.”

You heard the squeal of Keeley before you saw her.

“You look gorgeous!” She said as she hugged you.

“Babe, it’s a funeral.”

“Still look hot,” she said with a grin before moving on to Rebecca.

You gave a quick hello to Roy.

“She’s… Weird about funerals.”

You nodded. “Right. Well, I’ll be back. Ted was supposed to be here before me and isn’t picking up his phone now.”

Roy furrowed his brow. “Really? I’m shocked you didn’t come together.”

You tilted your head. “Why would we?”

“You realize how fuckin’ obvious you are?”

Your face dropped. “Nothing’s happening, Roy.”

He grunted with a shake of his head, and you headed off away from people to try giving Ted another call.

Still no answer.

When it hit his answering machine, you decided to leave it and send a text instead.

- hey, are you okay? i’m at the funeral now. if you show up, i’ll be in the back row waiting for you. if not, i’m coming to you as soon as we’re out of here

You shoved your phone back into your purse, making sure to leave it on vibrate in case he called back. Getting through the day was already hard, and you knew your anxiety was likely going to be more of a when-than-if kind of situation. It only built with the fact that Ted wasn’t getting back to you. You felt like everything was dragging on forever, and it wasn’t until Rebecca was struggling to find the right words in her eulogy that he came in. He sat next to you, squeezing your knee lightly to reassure you as he did, and you gave him a soft smile. Something was off, but even then he had the ability to comfort Rebecca all the way from the back row, continuing to sing the song she’d begun. And, of course, everyone else couldn’t help but join in.

You walked with him to the repast, and took that as an opportunity to ask him about what was going on.

“Ted?”

“Yeah?”

You fell quiet for a moment, unsure of where to start. He started for you.

“If you’re wondering, it was anxiety again. I’m sorry I didn’t respond…”

“Did you at least reach out to Dr. Sharon?”

“Yes.”

You smiled at him. “Okay, I’m glad. Proud of you.”

He smirked, then looked around the neighborhood for a moment.

“Uh, we talked about my dad.”

Your eyes widened. He’d hardly ever talked to you about what happened because he could never get through without crying.

“Wow. Are you okay? I know that’s always really hard for you…”

“She helped me see the good in him again, you know? I was always so angry with him for leaving us, but he did more than leave us. He was…” He trailed off with a shaky breath. You reached over, taking his hand, and he held onto yours firmly. “He was a great dad. She helped me remember that.”

“I’m happy you could talk to her about it, Ted. Seriously.”

He nodded, one hand going up to wipe at his eyes. “I guess it just hit me thinking about today…”

“I know. I’ve been pretty on edge today, too.”

“Are you okay?” He rushed out, looking at you.

You nodded with a smile, “Much better now that I know you are.”

He squeezed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. You tried to stave off the sick feeling in your stomach telling you to run the other way. You wished you could just enjoy a nice moment with him, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty somehow. He was too good for most people, and you considered yourself one of the ones he was too good for. You let it happen for a few seconds longer before you pulled away, pretending like you needed to check your phone in your purse.

“Get a message?” He asked after a moment.

“Uh, I thought I felt it vibrate. Guess not,” you chuckled a little.

He nodded quietly, shoving hands back in his coat pockets. You walked silently side by side until you reached the house, walking inside and beginning to mingle with some of the other guests there. You felt anxiety building, but tried putting it off. You couldn’t tell why it was getting worse and worse, but it was. Your pulse kept speeding no matter how easy you tried taking it.

But, you knew it was about to get way worse when you were suddenly being pulled away from Ted by Beard as a woman approached him. He watched after you with eyes wide for a moment before he turned to her, and you furrowed your brow at Beard when he deposited you in a different room.

“The hell was that about?” You snapped.

Immediately, you knew you needed to get away. It was hard enough feeling anxious, but the last thing you wanted was for your feelings to manifest as anger. But, manifest they did.

“You said you didn’t feel anything for him like that,” he said, testing you.

You scoffed. “Now is not the time, Beard. Who was that, anyways?”

“Remember the name, ‘Sassy’?”

Your stomach dropped, and you could swear the air had just gotten thinner.

“Seriously?”

He shrugged, a little smug. You let out a hard breath, beginning to walk away.

“You said—”

You whipped around. “Cut the shit, Beard. It’s none of your business.”

Eyes fell on you, and the barely contained attack was coming into swing. You started walking towards the back door and into the fresh air, hoping you could contain it all until you could get out of there and go home.

The door opened only a moment later, and you turned to find Beard staring at you.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped like that, I just—”

“You have feelings for him. I know you do.” He shrugged, coming to stand next to you. “What I don’t know is what’s wrong besides that.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re shaking.”

You looked down to see your hands shaking hard as you grasped your arms.

“I—,” you felt tears prick your eyes, and looked away. “I can’t fucking tell him. I’ve known him for years, do you have any clue how shitty it’d be to drop something like that on him? Besides, clearly he’s having fun with…”

You stopped, unable to even say another person’s name.

“The doc told me I self-sabotage, but I don’t think this is that. Is it wrong to want him to be happy? I don’t think I’m the bad guy for that.”

“Nobody said you were.”

“Nobody needs to. I’m a fucking mess. I have no right being upset that he’s happy. I’m a piece of shit,” you whispered at the end, closing your eyes. “I— I need to get out of here. I gotta go, I’m sorry.”

You felt your chest heave, trying to get in air through the invisible smoke that surrounded your head. There was no escaping it, now.

Beard reached out for you, but you already started leaving. He called your name, but you couldn’t handle facing him.

“If anyone asks, please just say I got sick,” you said, back still turned to him.

He sighed, watching as you walked away, holding onto yourself as if you might crumble otherwise. He was worried you actually would, but knew you’d only get more pissed if he tried following you now.

You stumbled along the street, not really sure where you planned on ending up. The closest location was on Nelson Road, so that’s where you found yourself after it all, sinking onto the floor of the office and letting all hell break loose. It was bad enough with how you’d been feeling today, but coupling it all with how ridiculous you felt over being angry that someone else had his attention… That was the thing that nearly pushed you over the edge. Crying and shaking led to dry heaving, dry heaving led to darn near passing out, and that all led to sitting on the ground for who knows how long. You’d always been able to pull yourself out eventually, but you weren’t sure you’d be able to this time.

If people really believed that hope kills, you wished they never had to know what being completely hopeless felt like.

Pretending like you weren’t ever affected by the things that hurt you could only get you so far, and now you were feeling the hard edge of realization that being hit by the things that pained you all at once was so much worse than dealing with it little by little.

Now, a room full of people had seen you crack, too. They all saw through it. The jig was up in a small way that felt huge. Your cover-up act was all you had sometimes, and you couldn’t afford to lose it all because you couldn’t handle seeing Ted with another person, or deal with your emotions before they blew up in your face.

You sobbed, unsure of how you were still awake with how much air escaped you and how little you were taking in. You almost wished you would just pass out for a few hours. Just to escape for a moment.

You heard footsteps fall heavy and quickly down the ball, and it only worsened your panic. The last thing you wanted was for anyone to see you like this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. You were cemented to the ground, a crying, shaky mess.

“Oh, thank goodness,” you heard a voice that sounded far away, then felt a pair of arms scoop you up and hold you tightly against them. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

You couldn’t stop yourself this time, and just let yourself cry. Ted tried moving your hands away from your face, but you refused to budge.

“Sweetpea, I need to know you’re okay. Can you breathe with me?”

His voice was more clear now, and you heard a tone in it you almost never did.

“Please,” he whispered, and now you knew why he sounded different.

Tears fell against your bare legs, and they weren’t your own.

“Breathe with me, come on,” he coaxed, and you tried your hardest to obey his request.

Once your breathing calmed, you were able to move your hands, though you refused to look up. He pulled you into his lap from where he sat next to you, hands holding you tighter than they ever had before.

“You really scared me,” he said, quiet.

You took in another breath, face against his neck.

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t be here.”

“What?” He asked, hands gripping you a little tighter. “What do you mean?”

You shook your head. “I’m a mess. You’re supposed to be out having fun.”

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke.

“Why did you…” He huffed out a breath. “I ran to your apartment. Then all your favorite restaurants. I went down all the streets I thought you might have taken, and finally I ended up here. I didn’t know where else to look.”

“Why were you looking?”

“I asked Beard where you were and he said you got sick. You were already not doing so hot, and I knew that was a lie”

“You have better things to be doing right now, Ted.”

“Nothing is more important than being here right now. Nothing. Do you understand me?”

He was taking a harsher tone with you than you were used to. You took a chance and looked up at him to find him in disarray. His tie and jacket were discarded, and his hair was kind of a mess.

“Don’t ever do that again. Please. At least tell someone where you’re going.”

You nodded, taking in the deep worry lines in his face.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t apologize for that, I just— I was scared.”

You swallowed. “I’m— I’ll be fine. Why don’t you go see your lady friend now.”

He furrowed his brow. “What?”

“I know Beard pulled us away from you two for a reason, Ted. You deserve to be happy. Please don’t let me get in the way of that.”

He raised his brows. “You’re not in the way of anything.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No. You’re not,” he shook his head. “Do you want to know something?”

You sniffed. “What?”

He stroked your cheek with his thumb, then smiled. “She’s kinda pissed at me anyway.”

“Why?”

He took a moment to lean back against the wall, readjusting you in his lap and wrapping his arms around you so that you wouldn’t be able to scoot away. He chewed at his lip for a moment, then looked at you. You stared back, eyes wide, and mascara running all down your face. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.

Hard as you tried not to, you laughed with him.

“What?”

“Your makeup ran harder than anyone on the team.”

You tried wiping away at it, but he grabbed your hand.

“Quit that.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “It’s kinda cute.”

“Me having a panic attack is cute?”

His eyes nearly bugged out of his head, but stopped when you laughed.

“I’m kidding. Sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

He let out a breath. “Man, I haven’t been that scared since my mom looked in the shoebox under my bed when I was seventeen.”

You smiled, shaking your head. “You didn’t answer me.”

“What?”

“I asked why she was mad at you.”

He nodded slowly, chewing at his bottom lip.

“Uh, well, when I asked Beard where you were and he said you were sick, she was in the middle of trying to get me to go to her hotel room.”

You felt your stomach sink again, looking away in hopes he wouldn’t catch the shift in your demeanor.

He continued, “I told her I had something more important to do. She didn’t like that a whole lot.”

“You did?”

“Yep.”

You swallowed hard. “So, it is my fault.”

He huffed out a sigh. “Can you quit that? I turned down sex to come sit on the ground with you, and you know what? In any case I would always rather be here with you. Panic attack or not. You could literally just ask me to sit on the ground with you and I would always say yes.”

“Well, that’s just dumb.”

He pulled your head towards his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“You always see right through me like I’m a dang department store window. Now, of all times, is when you decide to just… Not get it.”

You played with the buttons of his dress shirt and quirked a brow.

“What the heck are you talking about?”

“You know, I thought you might get it all the times I asked you to come get dinner or coffee with me. Or maybe every time I come bother you and stick around way longer than I normally would with anyone else— and that’s saying something. I was really hoping you’d get it when we were holding hands on our walk today, but of course not.”

He laughed, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head before he pulled back to look at you. You watched him with wide eyes, questioning his intentions and hoping you weren’t somehow still misreading this.

“You gonna make me say it?” He asked with a smile.

“I’d prefer if you did.”

He laughed, shaking his head. He then looked up at the ceiling, trying to search for the right words to say. They must have come to him, because he looked back to you, and simply stared for a minute before he finally started talking.

“You’re one of the kindest people I know. Like, Mr. Rogers reincarnated. You always know how to cheer me up. You always know how to help me, and everyone else in your life, somehow. I think you’re incredible. I think you are so funny and so talented and crazy smart. I even think you’re stupidly gorgeous when you’ve got makeup running all over your cheeks,” he said with a laugh, then continued when he got reassurance from your smiling face. “I’ve been scared to get close to anyone since… Since the divorce. You made it so easy, though. I’ve known you forever, but now— I guess I just realized a few months ago that nobody’s ever been there for me like you. You never tell me I’m too much. You never expect me to be… I don’t know. You don’t ever expect me to be on all the time. I can just be me, good or bad, and you still treat me the same.”

You watched him with a rapidly beating heart. Though, this time, it wasn’t telling you to run. It wanted nothing more than for you to stay right where you were.

“That’s something the Doc told me. That we’re good for each other because of that,” you said quietly.

He nodded. “I know, and she’s right. She helped me realize I had feelings for you. Real feelings.”

You bit your lip, then grinned. “Are you gonna crack a joke any time soon? Because all of this serious from you is becoming a little scary.”

His face lit up, and he laughed. You smiled with him, leaning into him for a hug. He held you close, taking in several deep breaths and enjoying the moment, then kissed your cheek as he pulled back again.

“Uh, so… Is this just gonna be me confessing and you get to sit there and tell me to do a crap ton of Hail Mary’s?”

You smiled. “There’s my Ted.”

His brows raised. “Your Ted, huh?”

You laughed, wiggling out of his grip. He let you, and you stood up, reaching for him. He stood with you, not letting go of your hands.

“You’re not going to let go of my hand to check a nonexistent message again, right?”

You smiled, looking down. “You caught that?”

“I can read you almost as well as you can read me. I knew something was up.”

You shook your head, walking into him and wrapping him in a hug again.

“I see things are a little better now,” Beard said, leaning against the doorframe of the office.

You let go of Ted, turning towards Beard.

“Hey. I’m sorry about—”

He held up a hand. “Don’t be. I was kind of being an ass anyways.”

You gave him a tight lipped smile, nodding a little.

“You two figure out… All that business?” He asked, pointing between the two of you.

Ted smiled, “Yeah, we did.”

“Good.”

He waved and left with that, the two of you alone once more.

Ted grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours.

“Let’s go home and maybe… Clean up. We kind of look crazy,” he smiled.

“Can we head to mine first? I want to get out of this dress.”

“Why don’t we just go to mine?”

He raised his brows in question, and you couldn’t help but smile. Now at least you didn’t have to pretend you didn’t think he was adorable.

“I need clothes.”

He quirked a brow. “I think you’d look awfully cute in my clothes.”

You laughed, “Okay, fair enough.”

“Ready to go home, then, sweetpea?”

“Of course.”

[felonytaxevasion]

For the record here are my other Undersider drunken karaoke night picks I think about this situation a normal amount (lie)

Round 1 - No One Has Added Underage Drinking To Their Daily Crime Journal Yet

Lisa - Lisa starts everyone off with California Girls because she is, in her heart, A California Girl She's Undeniable Daisy Dukes Bikinis on Top. Lisa is probably the closest thing the Undersiders have to a good singer but she's totally hamming it up here to break the ice in hopes Taylor will participate

Aisha - Every single Rihanna album has gone platinum in Aisha Laborn's bedroom and she will take any opportunity to make this fact known. I think she would pick Only Girl In The World because Aisha really feels like Rihanna made that one just for her specifically. Not a singer with technical expertise but she brings the most passion and joy to her performances

Brian - As stated in an earlier post he picks Bruno Mars Beautiful Girls All Over The World, possibly Just The Way You Are. He did not pick them to serenade Taylor specifically but at one point he does make eye contact with Taylor during the chorus and it embarrasses them both. Aisha pretends to vomit.

Alec - picks the exact same song as Brian and does it worse in every way. Intentionally makes eye contact with each of the Undersiders making sure to really draw out Brian's turn

Taylor - Peer pressured enough to participate but not enough to choose a song she actually likes and listens to in fear of being judged. She performs Fireflies by Owl City with real fireflies and it's equal parts charming and horrifying. Lisa cheers too loudly and Alec hides behind Brian and Rachel from the bugs. Taylor vows to never perform at karaoke again

Rachel - refuses to participate

Round 2 - Everyone is Slightly Tipsy

Lisa - Lisa performs Girls Just Want To Have Fun and gets really into it. She only hits half of the high notes but she tries really hard to hit all of them. It's the closest thing to an impressive performance any of them achieve all night

Brian - cuts in front of Aisha to perform Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Performs all nine minutes even while Aisha boos him and also sings the guitar solos. Experiences joy and whimsy for the first time in months

Aisha - Don't Trust Me by 3OH3. While singing the line "I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him" she gets too excited and flings a bracelet off knocking a glass off a table and shattering it. This does not slow her performance for even a second

Alec - Friday by Rebecca Black. Very pleased with the negative reaction this inspires. Aisha tries to chase him off the stage and the latter half of the song is just them wrestling for the microphone

Taylor and Rachel decline to participate and instead sit in the corner and whisper gay things the whole round

Round 3 - Completely Lost In The Sauce Wasted

Lisa - Incredibly Solemn and Serious rendition of Video Games by Lana Del Rey. Alec dims the lights and everyone sans Rachel wave their cellphone flashlights for her

Alec - Alec has spent the entire night lying and telling Aisha he can sing all the words to Rap God by Eminem. He messes up the words in the first verse immediately. Laughs through the rest of the performance and accidentally makes up a new word that becomes he and Aisha's new terrible "inside joke" they insist on saying every five minutes for the next month

Brian - Low by Flo Rida. Does a whole dance routine to go along with it. Everyone except Aisha has a GREAT time

Aisha - Super Bass by Nicki Minaj. High off the excitement of his last performance Brian performs along and completely steals the show. This leads to the first bout of drunken crying (Aisha. Immediately followed by Brian) followed by drunken declarations of love and affirmation

Eventually the affirmations lead to Taylor agreeing to singing one more song so long as every Undersider individually promises her they won't make fun of her. She picks This Is War by Thirty Seconds to Mars because she is a terrible angsty teenager in 2011 and she sings it very badly. Everyone stills cheers for her though and it is a very good finale

On the way home they get Rachel to agree to do the barks if the rest of them sing Who Let The Dogs Out acapella. This footage is captured by street cams and the footage of the teenage warlords walking down the street barking is presented as a "twisted intimidation tactic" by the PRT for the next three years

[love-takes-work]

Streamily Signing with Kimberly Brooks as Jasper and AJ Michalka as Stevonnie

AJ Michalka and Kimberly Brooks signed some stuff for fans on the Streamily! It's listed as a Steven Universe event but combined with other characters for both of them (AJ signed some Catra prints and Kimberly signed some Allura and Ashley prints).

After some technical difficulties (which Kimberly says dealing with Streamily and Instagram at the same time is a one-two punch like Jasper would do), they get both voice actors to get on the stream and can both hear each other. They catch up with each other and Kimberly says the first time she met AJ she was wearing awesome sneakers so Kimberly bought the same pair.

AJ points out that her first VIP to sign is not even Stevonnie--it's Catra--and then they take turns, and Kimberly signs one featuring winter Jasper.

Kimberly says playing Jasper was an awesome opportunity and she loves working with Rebecca Sugar. AJ feels like she only did about 10 episodes.

Kimberly points out that she "tends to be confused at all times."

AJ signs another Catra print while pointing out that she doesn't draw, but sometimes signs and does a little "cat scratch" motif on the print. She thinks it originated with a fan asking for it and she incorporated it into anything where she is asked to draw. Kimberly is also asked to draw on a print and says she can't draw either. They both have thought about learning to draw because they're going to a lot of conventions.

Kimberly is asked to draw a cat and says it's appropriate because she's a Leo and cats are always coming into her yard. She has a dog that doesn't like the cats. She thinks about drawing lions and likes that there's also a connection to her character Allura in Voltron (she pilots the Blue Lion). Kimberly draws a cat and the word "meow," and specifies that Jasper would definitely only say that very sarcastically.

AJ says she plays guitar and piano and makes reference to her band with her sister having a 20-year anniversary for their first album coming up soon. Her latest record is called With Love From, but they have a new one coming out next year in spring.

They discuss how neither of them are coffee people and AJ prefers matcha for the extended release of caffeine and the tastiness.

AJ wants to do a video game someday like Kimberly did as Ashley Williams on Mass Effect, and Kimberly says it's actually not that fun to do the actual recording but it's still cool to portray the character. Kimberly talks about how cool it was that the player character for Mass Effect could be male or female and you could still romance various genders of characters--that at the time it was uncommon.

Someone who sent in a request for a print asked Kimberly to sign the print with what she thinks Jasper would say in response to being called "Jaspie." She eventually decides to write "Call me 'Jaspie' again and I'll pound you into the ground." AJ thinks Kimberly's Jasper voice transition is so cool.

AJ is asked to put a favorite Stevonnie quote and chooses "I'm an experience."

Kimberly and AJ rizz each other up a bit and when Kimberly says she'd really like to be in a band or sing.

Kimberly writes another Jasper quote about pounding people into the ground. She points out that it's hard to come up with quotes so far after the fact.

They discuss how fans want a Steven Universe movie but agree that neither of them have heard of any news about one.

When signing for someone who says Jasper is their favorite character, she says thank you for admitting that Jasper is their favorite character--that Jasper is everyone's favorite character but only brave people can admit it. Haha!

AJ discusses that her name initials stand for "Amanda Joy."

AJ and Kimberly agree that if Catra and Jasper were on the same show there'd be too much anger and too much emotion--they're somewhat similar characters in some way.

Kimberly stays a little longer after AJ has to go and signs the non-VIP posters on camera too even though it wasn't required.

Kimberly's last signature has the quote "Jaspers don't give up. Jaspers keep going until we get what we want" from "Crack the Whip." She says she's forgotten what episode that was from and doesn't remember the context, but wants someone to remind her.

[doodledork01]

Ok, imma share my personal theory on Amanda the adventurer.

I think wooly is the half of Rebecca, Amanda/the other half of Rebecca wants to repress and get rid of

It might also just be Sam, but I never really liked that theory because Amanda seems to like Sam more, and I don’t think would knowingly act that way towards him as wooly(she could also just not know witch is why I think the point still stands) and he can’t be Jordan, since it seems to be the opossum when he was calling out for his sister Johanne

But my reasoning is that wooly shares the same personality as Rebecca before her soul got trapped. Shy, trusting, and agreeable. Something Rebecca would grow to hate if she got put into a situation like this. Plus Amanda is always giving wooly crap about being a sheep/a follower. Being to cowardly to stand up for himself. But as much as she hates him, he’s the only one she can’t get rid of, even when she “kills” him in the first game, he comes back again good as new, not acting like anything ever happened. They already established that she can manipulate anything in the environment, so why couldn’t she get rid of him if she hates him so much? Speaking of manipulation, there is some evidence in the first game that wooly can also manipulate the environment when he wants you to pick the birthday card for Amanda to give to him for his birthday(also his birthday being the day she remembers “something bad happened” aka when Rebecca died and got split in half)

And in the second game, wooly comes back, trying to distract from the weirdness, and focus on going on adventures. Being a part of Rebecca, wooly desperately tries to cheer Amanda up, like in the story time video, but really just tells the story that he wants to hear, and gets increasingly mad when the story is change to a sadder ending. Something he doesn’t want to think about. there is also a lot of imagery of three colors. red, blue, and lavender(aka purple) shown around the game. Two separate colors that are usually shown to be the opposite of each other making up a new color? Seems like symbolism to me. But the symbolism goes even deeper with the can we fix it tape, the first time we see it it glitches out and we’re shown images of Amanda and wooly being fused together, but both seem to not want to fully fuse, so they end up becoming some kind of monster instead. As well as in the end where they’re trying to fix a butterfly which I think is supposed to represent Rebecca’s brain(mostly because of when it glitches out and becomes what looks like a brain for a second). Wooly is so desperate to fix it despite being against fixing stuff at first, while Amanda becomes sad and thinks there is not point trying to fix it.

That’s just a messy way of saying my theory is that Amanda and wooly are bother a part of Rebecca and the only way to free them is to help wooly get brave and get Amanda to accept him as part of her(I could also be entirely wrong, that’s how theories work)

[loving-family-poll]

Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 1

Propaganda under the cut:

Cersei/Jaime:

they're literally womb-to-tomb lovers. they feel that the rest of the world is beneath them and they're the only ones that matter. the fact that they're twins is fundamental to their attraction to each other

they’re blonde they’re evil they crossdress they’re fucked-up mirrors of one another they serve cunt they’re both bisexual probably and they’re TWINS who FUCK. who said that.

"if I were a woman, I'd be Cersei."

"I'll kill [...] the whole bloody lot of them until you and I are the only people left in this world."

"I am sick of being careful. The Targaryens wed brother to sister, why shouldn't we do the same? Marry me, Cersei. Stand up before the realm and say it's me you want."

"'Do you have a little wife, ser?'" No, I have a sister."

Bruce/Dick:

Adopted son Dick Grayson boywife Dick Grayson boywife

Was YOUR pairing mentioned in a 397 page callout post that changed the entire comic book industry forever? I thought so.

before John/Dean entered the scene they were doing up the militant-freudian-father/child-soldier-motherofhisotherchildren-son incestuationship in 1940!! in fact they were so flagrantly intimate that they spawned the first ever 'video games are bad for children' discourse in the form of 'comics are bad because they'll make your children yearn for the gay incest mines' i.e. seduction of the innocent by fredric wertham. and y'know maybe they were right after all *gestures to the incest poll tournament*

SO many delicious aspects of their dynamic honestly. the fact that dick made batman a father and the latter loved it (and him) so much that he sought to replace him forever and ever again and again rebecca daphne du maurier style. word on the streets (lost canon timeline) is bruce made the first replacement— jason todd— dye his hair from red to black so that he'd resemble dick, inspiring generation spanning lust for and yearning of approval from both daddy bats and first son/greatest love of aforementioned daddy bats

How many other incest pairings are so strong that they generated like at least 5 other incestuationships? the family tree branches are CRUMBLING. not to mention their dramatic breakup did give us beloved 2000's animated series teen titans.

there are so many interpretations writers like to impose on the characters. they're father/son, frankenstein and creature, brothers, husband and wife. when batman has his own biological son but then promptly "dies", dick, the first son, comes in as a father to his father's first son (whilst donning the cape and cowl/body of his partnerfather). MANY say that dick was a better parent to damian wayne than even bruce. it literally can't get more incestuous than this, sorry