#and put the blame on me in a way i don't always find fair or make me wish for a bit more clemency

[cagenewman]

There was a sense of relief that filled Cage as Cordelia talked about not wanting to schedule this pregnancy, knowing that it was something that had weighed heavily on him. This couldn't be scheduled or planned, not like her school, his work, their childrens' day to day lives, this had to happen when it happened, naturally. When the time was right. "I don't want to have sex to make a baby," Cage chose his words carefully, narrowing his eyes as he thought it over, "I want to get pregnant because on a random Wednesday night, you looked at me a certain way and I kissed you a little too long in the hallway and it just happened, you know?" His voice was softer as he said it, almost a little shy, but he didn't want or need the fanfare. If they couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that they had made a baby because it was borne out of the love between them, then that was more than enough for him, and he paused for a moment, emotion thickening his tone the tiniest amount as he pulled his teeth from the lip that he had bitten onto while thinking and spoke, drawing in a breath, "as sad as I am about what happened and always will be, there's a part of me that's relieved that I can do this right." It was tough to admit, and he didn't want to say it out loud, but felt like he needed to, felt like they had to go through every step of this honestly with one another. "You know that I will love our baby, no matter what, but there was a part of me that was… ashamed, that -- I don't know, that I left those bruises on your thighs and hips and got you pregnant when we were angry at each other and then reacted the way I did, that I couldn't just be happy, even though I wanted to. It's part of why I felt like it was my fault… that we lost the baby. Like maybe it was some sort of sick karma." Cage knew better, but it had still stuck in his gut, twisting beneath his ribs when he thought about it. And he had admitted it to her, but he hadn't been able to put words to it until everything had finally settled. Until he knew it wasn't true, until he had digested the news over and over again. He lifted his free hand to brush at the corner of his eye, not realizing that they had become wet, blaming it on the slight breeze that day before he let out a laugh, shaking his head, "no, nothing like that. You know better than anyone what you can handle, but I'm going to step in and put my foot down if I catch you trying to carry around hay bales at eight months pregnant, and I think that's fair. Instead, you can watch me haul around the hay bales and spend time with your best friend Twix. How's that?"

Cage's face scrunched up as Cordelia talked about the possibilities of cravings, making note of what she would and would not want, and how fast that could change, holding his breath before letting it out. "Too late to change my mind, I guess?" But he was only joking, knowing that nothing about her cravings would ever push him to take back the decision that he had made, even if she woke him up at three in the morning with an elbow in the ribs and wanted pickle flavored something or other that made him gag at the thought of it. He'd find a way through it. "I think that's part of why it's important to talk to them now," he squeezed her hand as he said it, "to understand how they are going to feel about it, and have the time to talk to them and make them understand how we feel about it -- or try. It's better that we're all able to talk than to just drop it in their laps." Telling the boys that Cordelia was pregnant, that they were having a baby, without giving them any indication that they were trying might have come across as though they didn't care about their opinions, that they were moving on with their lives. "I think…" he wet his lips, "maybe telling them that we want to have a baby because we feel like we have the perfect family to love them, to help raise them and take care of them will help them realize that they're a part of it, does that make sense?" he looked down at his wife, "that the only reason we feel like we can do this is because we know how good they are, how much they love each other, and we feel like it's the right environment for them to love another little girl or boy." That was the catch, that this wouldn't just be Cage and Cordelia's biological son or daughter, that this little one wouldn't be any better or more important than any other Newman or Austin or Browning under that roof -- but it would be Shawn and Colton and Cienna and Rosalyn's little brother or sister, it would be as much a part of them as it was their parents. He rolled his own eyes playfully as she talked about the clothes disappointment, and then stole another kiss, before he found himself browsing the little shop, enjoying a few items here and there, but ultimately letting her lead him back down the sidewalk, until… oh no, shiny. "Wait up," he groused on a laugh, heading in after her and knowing that she was going to make a beeline for the sparkly things, coming to a stop behind her with both hands gently resting on her hips, body brushing against hers from behind as he looked over her shoulder at the pieces she had been drawn to from outside.

It was really more amusing how so much could change, but such simple things could stay the same. Even if it was something as silly as swatting someone's hand away from a few fries could make you laugh and remember those sweet memories. "We can get you a new desk calendar if you want, probably a good idea to update it, or at the very least throw out your old one because that last year one isn't going to help you anymore." she pointed out. Though those weren't exactly the first priorities when there had been so much going on in the last few months to really worry about anything else. Giving a roll of her eyes, "No, I wouldn't get one for all pregnancy related things, that would just become unhealthy, tracking ovulation, periods, when we have sex, that becomes.... a job, and regardless that we have decided we want this, we want to try I don't want it to become a job or an obligation to have sex." Sex for them had always been intimate, even when angry, there was always a connection, she didn't want it to become a business transaction because they were hoping to add a little one to their family now. "I appreciate that you're not going to let me do anything too strenous so long as you don't treat me like I'm broken because that will upset me." She had survived a pregnancy by herself with practically no one, worked right up till going into labor. Not that she knew Cage would want that for her this time around, he'd want to give her everything. "I never was in any danger, I am just saying you pointed out that she thought I was competition, when she didn't realize it was never a competition, I was always going to win." she quipped giving a short nod as if that was the best obvious explanation and that was that.

"You're very right chances are when I'm craving something it's going to be in the moment and very much I want it now, not oh let me go make it and then eat it. By that time I probably will be craving something completely different and upset that I just made all this stuff I no longer want to eat." Which obviously would be very upsetting to a pregnant and hormonal woman! She needed her good food. Nodding when he said it may not go perfectly but that both boys were incredibly mature, they loved their siblings, and there was no denying the boys were amazing, kind, gentle souls that would protect their little sisters no matter what. "I just hope they understand why we would want this but it doesn't change what they mean to us, you know? That it's not a replacement, or our "real" child." Giving a roll of her eyes because that was ludicrous. "Not too many toys we're starting to get overrun in the house with toys but I also know it's what they would want most. Clothes would not impress them in the slightest, which both makes me proud and disappoints me." Though Rosalyn and Cienna did love their sparkly dresses and shoes, regular every day clothes for surprise presents? Not the things they were looking for. "Such a smart man." she leaned in pecking his lips before ending the first store. They shopped around for a bit, going in and out of different stores picking up few different things here and there before stumbling upon a vintage shop seeing a case of jewelry. "Oh we should check in here." she said before taking off inside.

[followfire]

Just had something happen to me which was very close to a situation I often have nightmares about, and I thought those nightmares were a bit over the top, like, you know, the way dreams tend to be...

Well turns out the dreams weren't exaggerating at all. In fact it's worse in real life. The nightmares were the game turned on easy mode. :)

[isas-identity]

Sudden rant but in light of the latest comic that went out: see this is why i felt so uncomfortable with the fandom's opinions about Hyuna after weige came out

People either went "omg she loved him all along see guys she loves him!" or "she could never be free from the shackles of the man she absolutely hated fuck this" like ????

Hyuna's feelings for Luka were obviously a mixed bag. Like guys... you can absolutely love and yet hate a person at the same time. Like yes, if he hadn't killed her brother maybe their relationship would've blossomed into something beautiful (though we still don't know if it was an accident or not, it doesn't change the fact he never showed regret about it) but it did not, and though she herself KNOWS she should hate him, she can't make herself do it. She knows the shit he's been through, she KNOWS death doesn't mean the same to him as it does to her.

She knows there's good in him somewhere and she can't blame him because after all, their entire situation is not on him, it's the alien's who put them in this awful situation.

And yes Luka is a simp. But that doesn't change her suffering or the lack of emotional maturity from Luka's side.

Also she's not a helpless victim, she takes her own decisions and acts the way she sees fit according to her own feelings, so jumping to "she was never free after all!!" when she herself took the choice to protect him, always felt condescending.

Whether she chooses to forgive him or not, or whether she loves him or not, it is on herself to make the best choice to thread through those feelings and only when she is sincere with herself will she be free.

Of course we got the answer to that part, and that is that she does absolutely still hates him, but still absolutely loves him, and will fuck him up for that. which, you know, fair.

Hyuna's not a princes or a pitiable victim, she's a petty ass phoenix who's risen to take out the unjust system that has made them this way who chose to die because fuck you Luka, and Luka's not an uwu baby who's done nothing wrong, he's an emotionally stunted 30 year old man who's committed murder multiple times, you can find one of those in every corner nowadays (without the murderer part of course).

Anyways i loved this comic, and i loved Weige, they gave me more perspective on these two and made me invested and yes now i absolutely ship them and love them both.

[lukespookie]

sweetheart. | luke castellan x f! child of ares!reader

about - "i need you more than i want to." - camila cabello

warning - smut, all characters are 18+, petnames, oral (f receiving), luke is MEAN. brat taming sorta kinda maybe

a/n - guyssssss i luv enemies to lovers im gonna SOBBBBB anyways i hope this is good lmao

here you two sat. in mr. d's office while he yells at you for fighting again. it wasnt even in a in trouble way, more of a shut the fuck up and get along kinda way.

but it wasnt your fault!!

it all started when you were training. you were extremely upset since luke had, once again, beaten your team at capture the flag. you had such a good plan too!

then, luke just had to come on over and brag.

"you look a bit tense, sweetheart. don't tell me your upset that we won?" luke smirks from behind you, making you turn around.

"you only won because you cheated." you say, your eyes squinting.

from there, it basically turned into you insulting each other back and forth.

you hadnt always been like this. there was a time when you two were the best of friends. but you were driven away by your siblings since the ares cabin and hermes cabin hated each other

so now, here you were getting chewed out all because luke is cocky!!

"you two are both banned from capture the flag until next month." mr. d says, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"what?!" you and luke say in sync.

"luke started it! this isnt fair!" you groan, standing up from your seat.

"how did i start it? you're the one who started being rude!" luke argues. the two of you ramble on and on before mr. d gets fed up at kicks you out.

you and luke walk outside of the big house, burning in anger. leave it to luke castellan to ruin your month!!

his stupid handsome face is always getting on your nerves! and what annoys you the most is that you cant stop thinking about him.

mostly at night, when you touch yourself in your bedroom. luke is who you think of. but who can blame you?! hes just soso hot when you spar, sweat dripping down his forehead and his chest heaving. :(( his veiny arms tense as he holds his sword and swings it with ease.

and gods, his lips!!!

"you started it!" you repeat, annoyed that he was blaming it on poor lil you!! :((

but, thats when you get a genius idea. you had to find a way to put luke in his place, and thats what you had.

as a child of ares, you had the power of telumkinesis, the power to curse your opponents' weapons and transfigure any object into any weapon. you could also change the weight of your opponents weapons, which is exactly what you planned to do.

"we could settle it with a spar?" you sugest, shrugging to look as natural as possible!!

"you're on." he smirks.

you get dressed in your camp half-blood shirt, cut and fitted to be shorter and tighter, and some jean shorts. you throw on your super dirty, red converse and grab your sword, walking to the arena to spar.

you see luke and look down at his hand, holding his sword.you stop walking and.. okay, how does this shit work?

you stare at the sword, focusing only on that and eventually lukes arm drops a bit and he brings his sword up to his face and examine it. it worked!!!

you walk over, feeling as confident as ever.

"you okay, castellan? you look a bit stressed out." you smirk, making him snap around to face you, a scowl on his face.

"what'd you do to my sword, daughter of ares? dont think im dumb." luke snaps, making you scoff.

"i dont know what you're talking about." you shrug.

luke looks around before snatching you wrist, his grip tight as steel as he drags you into the forest.

luke ignores your insults and protests as he pins you to a tree, his hands on your waist and him towering over you.

"not so strong now are you? hm?" he growls, grabbing your face.

"l-luke.. this isnt funny.." you whisper, stomach twisting into a billion knots. "wasnt tryna be" he mutters, grabbing your sword and throwing it gods know where.

"so fuckin' pretty when you're not talking." he sighs looking at you for a moment before connecting your lips.

he kisses you sloppily, not caring to try to use skill. you're stunned for a moment before you kiss back, kissing with as much desire as him.

he pulls away. "shit, can i?" he breathes, making you nod rapidly.

he unbuttons and unzips your jean shorts, tugging them down and letting them pool at your ankles.

"gonna make you feel so good, sweetheart." he mutters, kissing your cheek before he kneels down in front of you.

he rubs his thumb over the wet spot on your panties with a groan, making you shutter.

"you're soaked." he smirks. he pulls your panties down and your pussy is connected to it with a string of wetness. "fuck, who knew you were such a whore?"

he digs in, lapping at your swollen clit like a starved man. your hands find their way to his messy curls, tugging as hard as possible out of spite.

he slightly pulls away. "don't tug so hard." he mumbles, arousal all over his chin. you push his head back into your cunt, moaning when his nose connects with your clit.

he thrusts his tongue in and out of your hole, making you cry out and tug his hair hard. "pull my hair like that again and i'll stop." he warns.

you quickly move your hands to his shoulders, not wanting him to stop eating your cunt.

he goes back to pushing him tongue inside of you, your moans and cute noises egginng him on.

"fuck, luke! dont stop, dont stop." you cry out, back arching off the tree.

he pulls away, breathing heavily onto your cunt. "im not baby, im not."

he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking and flicking his tongue on it.

"luke! cant, its too much!" you sob, trying to push his head away. "you can take it. you'll take it."

your orgasm crashes over you, shuttering as luke licks it all up.

he stands up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

you notice the prominent tent in his pants, making you frown. "what about you?" you ask, looking up at him.

"just gives me a reason to see you again." he shrugs, kissing your cheek.

[thatgirlthatwritessmut]

weird rq but likeeee? oh well here we go ! so basically rafe and yn are dating but then she finds out about the sheriff peterkin thing from ju and when rafe comes home she is PACING. she and rafe have a conversation and she goes to call the police but then rafe doesn't want to go to jail and tries to say it's because JJ doesn't like him and she obviously doesn't believe it so he like thinks about killing her but then ends up locking her in the thingy majigy I forgot what it's called til she changes her mind

idea honestly came from this song so !

calm down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rafe cameron x female reader

𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 ~ your boyfriend rafe locks you in a room until you calm down after finding out about him killing sheriff peterkin.

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ dark!rafe, violence, toxic behaviors, unhealthy relationship, emotional outbursts, kisses, crying.

—————

your friends and lover never got along. there was always something coming up. your pogue friends would always tell you that you should break up with rafe but you simply wouldn’t. even though you were pretty sure he was a psychopath you couldn’t stop yourself from loving him.

rafe didn't make it easy though. he was short tempered and ill mannered. sometimes you wanted to smack him across the face for the words that spilled from it. at times you did let your feelings get the best of you and the shape of your handprint would take over the pale flesh of his cheek. he would soon grab a hold of you and the two of you would tussle around but it wouldn't be long till your lips crashed on his inhaling his toxicity.

you knew this relationship was bad for you but you were blinded by love and desire which made the recent information that you were given hard to swallow.

you're taking your family boat out enjoying the air from the sea before you get a text from your friend jj.

jj: y/n I need you to meet me at my place. we need to talk. now.

confusion corses through your body as you quickly reply back.

y/n: jj what's going on?

jj: just hurry and get here fast.

you immediately put your phone aside as you grab a hold of the steering wheel on the boat and head for the dock. once you arrive you tie it up. as you finish you dash towards your car, hitting the gas. its not long till you're on jj front porch knocking on the door filled with worry. jj quickly opens the door and pulls you in without a word. "jj...whats going on?!" you say breaking the silence. he stares at you calculating his words. "you won't believe me.". "how could you know that?" you say slightly annoyed. "because its involving your boy toy...". your body freezes suddenly becoming breathless. "r-....rafe?- what the fuck did he do now?". "something bad. something he's not going to come back from...well he might because he's blaming everything he did on john b.". "what?!...why the hell is he doing that?". jj goes silent again. 'WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO JJ?!" you finally shout.

“HE SHOT SHERIFF PETERKIN!”

as you hear those words you step back not believing what's been said. "no....NO! that can't be true. he's done his fair share of fucked up things but he would never go as far as....as far as...murder.". 'oh yeah? that's funny because I saw him with my own eyes. me, kie, pope, john b, and even sarah. she'll tell you what he did and that's her own blood!".

you shake your head, tears beginning to blur your vision. you try to speak through your tightened throat. "whe-...when did this happen?". "recently....I wanted to let you know sooner but a LOT as been going on. I wasn't sure if you were at his place or not so i texted you as soon as i could. you're not safe around him y/n!". you stare at the wall choked up before making your way to the door.

"hey! where are you going?". jj quickly foots behind you not letting you out of his sight. as you walk outside you run to your car not looking back. "y/n don't do this! you hear me? don't!". you ignore jj's commands entering your car and slamming the door behind you. "I'm getting to the bottom of this! don't follow me!". with that said you put your car in reverse and make your way to the cameron house.

~~~~

you’re pacing at the front door as rafe arrives home. he glances at you surprised by your presence. as he locks the door he greets you. “hey baby. you didn’t tell me you were stopping by-”. “did you kill sheriff peterkin?”. he face stiffens as he looks up from the lock and stares at the door back facing you. silence takes over the house as your movements stop as well, eyes burning a hole into his neck. you repeat your question. “DID YOU KILL-”. “who told you that?” he snaps, turning around now stepping towards you with speed. “don’t worry about who. answer my damn question rafe!”. his jaw clenches as he stares at you then looks away trying to come up with a lie. “no. john b did.”. you immediately strike back. “liar….i know you’re not telling the truth i can see it in your face!”. you point your finger at him disgusted that he has put you in this position.

rafe begins to shake his head. “not here. not while wheezy and rose is at home okay? lets-”. “NO! no! you will not push me away rafe! why not tell the truth why not tell them that you KILLED SHERIFF PETE-”. rafe grabs you and takes his hand to your mouth silencing your words. “i really wish you wouldn’t do that.” he says, his strength besting you. “get off of me!” you say muffled as you push him away only being able to break free because he allowed you. the two of you stare at each other silently before you speak once again. “rafe…i’m going to ask you one last time. did. you. kill. sheriff. peterkin?”.

he narrows his eyes at you before shaking his head once again. you force a smile as you nod. “…okay…well i guess i’ll find out once the police hears about this won’t i?”. you make your way to the door and he blocks your path. “what does that mean?”. “oh you know what it means.”. his icey glare slightly scares you but you don’t let it show. you inch closer to him. “what now rafe?…are you going to shoot me too?”. you see the gears start to turn in his head, like he was actually considering the idea.

you try to push past him again but now you’re met with his hand to your neck. “r- rafe?” you stutter gripping his wrist. he starts backing you to a door glaring at you with every step. when your back hits the door you yell. “let me go!”. he doesn’t listen pulling you to the side by your neck as he opens the room and throws you inside of it. you fall to the ground wincing in pain. as you look back you watch him swiftly close the door. as you lay on the ground you start to hear a locking sound. you eyes widen and you panick. “no..NO! RAFE!”. you get up from the floor, pacing to the door and begin pounding it. “LET ME OUT!” you scream, beginning to kick. “i’m not letting you out, y/n. not until you calm down, okay?”. “screw you!” you shout through the door. “i’m trying to be civil here, and you’re freaking out right now.”. as your face turns with anger you suddenly hear a familiar voice coming down the stairs.

“rafe what the hell is going on? who is that?”. “r- rose?” you say thankful that she was here. “is- is that y/n?” rose says confused. “yeah.” rafe admits. “why is she locked in there?”. you immediately answer. “rafe locked me in!”. “she’s locked in there because sometimes you have to make the hard choice, right? she just didn’t get that.”. he then turns to the door so he can make sure you hear him. “you fail to understand that constantly, don’t you? huh? DONT YOU?”. he brings his fist up to punch the door. “shut the hell up!” you scream as you push your shoulder into the wood standing between you two hoping to break the lock. “you need to CALM DOWN!” he yells back at you. “what do you mean calm down?!” you reply. but then the other side of the door goes quiet. as a little time goes by you hear something again.

“y/n…what is it going to be?”. your pounding stops as you hear rafe’s voice again. “where is rose?”. “she went upstairs okay? i told her you’re fine which you are.”. “RAFE! stop it now! let me out!”. “i’ll only let you out once you promise me that you won’t go to the cops. so i’ll say it again...what is it going to be?”. you stop responding. soon rafe presses his ear to the door confused but quickly hears a glass shattering against the door. “LET ME OUT ASSHOLE!”. “okay. I’ll give you some time to come to your senses.”. as you hear his steps grow distant you punch harder. “let me out!” you insist. “i really wanna help you, but i need you to help me too okay?” rafe says as he walks up the stairs. you begin to repeat the word “no” over and over again not wanting to stay in the room another minute. “rafe? rafe?…please don’t leave!” you say softly as you give up on breaking the door. you slowly fall to the floor backing up into a corner bringing your knees to your chest. you cover your face as tears fill your eyes. you couldn’t believe what was happening.

after a while you hear the lock turning. you lift yourself from the floor watching as rafe opens the door. “y/n? have you calmed down?”. you nod your head repeatedly slowly walking towards him. as you walk out the door he grabs a hold of your waist. “i hope you can forgive me. i never want you to have to see me like that but you gave me no choice.” he says wiping your tears away with his thumb. your head nods as you sniffle. he then plants a kiss on your cheek then temple as he pull you into a hug. as he locks you into his warm embrace your mind fills with one thought.

should you protect your friends or your lover?

writers note ~ sorry if this feels rushed. lots have been going on in my life. i hope you still enjoyed !! :)

[banj0possum]

Can we get a zombie horde with a gn! Reader where their abusive family finds them again?

after years of inactivity im fucking back ! sorry for the long long wait but at least im able to put out a few more fics !

Zombie Horde!Reader's Abusive Family Finds Them Again

CW: verbal abuse, abusive family, (mentioned) being rejected food

💀 You haven't always been alone in your travels, in fact, you were with your family when the outbreak happened. But to be fair, you never liked your family..

💀 They would always bully you, boss you around, even put the blame on you whenever something bad happened, the torment didn't end even when there were zombies banging on your doors!

💀 In fact, because of the virus, they got even more cruel to you.

💀 They would take away your food rations for any small mistake you did, make you take the night watch for days on end, even send you out to get supplies just because 'you talked back that one time'!

💀 You couldn't take it anymore and left, knowing anywhere would be better than being stuck in a house of people who did nothing but torture you.

💀 You thought you were safe from them, cuddled up with Ribs in your bed as the others wandered around the abandoned mall, but it all came back when you heard a familiar voice shout out your name from the distance..

💀 "(Y/N)?! I know you're here you runt!"

💀 It was your dad...

💀 Ribs sat up as soon as he heard it and snarled, crawling out of bed and going out to see the commotion.

💀 Your heart raced as you followed him, but it was hard to walk with your body trembling at the thought of seeing him or any of your family again.

💀 "Jesus there's four of them!" "What are you waiting for you stupid bitch?! Shoot em!"

💀 It seems your mom was also there..

💀 You run the broken escalator and see the horde fighting with your family, gunshots ring throughout the mall as you see your beloveds blasted with bullets.

💀 You weren't scared though, they were dead after all, but it was still heartbreaking seeing them get hurt.

💀 You pick up a nearby rock and throw it at your dad to get his attention away from the boys. They all look at you, your family glaring at you while the horde coos at your presence.

💀 "(Y/N) you come here right this fucking second we're coming home!" Your mother shouts at you, walking over angrily and grabbing your arm strong enough to leave a red ring.

💀 Bo fumes and pulls her of you "You stay away from my mate ya hear me?!" he growls.

💀 "It talks?!" She yelps as your dad comes over as well. "Mate? Don't tell me you're hangin out with these monsters! Are you that much of a dumbass?!" he scolds you.

💀 You shrink, knowing whatever you say will make things worse..

💀 "Why you little whore.." Your dad growls, about to slap you, but Screw runs over and pushes your dad away, sending him back a few feet.

💀 Ribs and Soda smile and clap as Bo and Screw help you up.

💀 "You ok darlin?" Bo asks you in a sweet tone. "Is your arm ok? Does is hurt? Do you need a bandaid? I have a pink one with a cat on it.." Screw looks at the mark your mother gave you.

💀 You smile and assure them everything's ok.

💀 "Fucking freaks..(Y/N) do you hear me?! Get your ass up and let's go!" Your dad yells at you again as he stand up.

💀 "They're not going anywhere mean guy!" Ribs growls at him.

💀 Your mom is to the side next to Soda, she sneers at him and he looks back at her, giving her the middle finger, making her scoff and look away.

💀 In a shaky tone, you ask how they found you. You've cut off contact with them for months, there was no way they could find you..

💀 "Hah! Your dumbass thought you were just some person in the middle of nowhere? Half the state knows about your little talkin freak boyfriends!"

💀 You look down in shame as Bo and Screw comfort you "I think it's about time you folks leave..." Bo says, glaring at your parents.

💀 "Oh no you're not kicking us out! We came all this way to get this ungrateful little leech back! We gave them shelter and this is how they repay us?! You should've learned your place and stayed put!" he berates you. You finally snap and yell back at him, telling him all the things you've endured in their household, how you were treated like dirt every day, how you were much better off without them.

💀 Finally you firmly tell them to leave, pointing to the exit as you look at him with no fear left in your eyes. He scoffs "Fine..go get killed on your own then! Don't come to us for any fucking help!" he yells as he leaves, your mom in tow.

💀 Ribs laughs at them as they leave while Soda smiles at you.

💀 After the whole interaction, you were completely exhausted, the boys huddling up with you to calm you down.

💀 You give them all well-deserved kisses for protecting you, they all coo and chirp at the affection and kiss you back.

💀 "Do you still want that bandaid?" Screw asks you softly.

💀 You say yes.

this one was pretty short but expect more fics to be sent soon ! love you guys and remember that youre awesome and amazing !

[bueckersverse]

���� 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐈’𝐌 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 — 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 — 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐛𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭– 𝐧𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐫

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳˢ ᵖᵒᵛ

𝟏𝟎:𝟓𝟑 𝐏𝐌. i anxiously stared at the time on my phone. it has almost been an hour and paige still hasn't shown up. tonight is my birthday, she promised she'd show up after she washed up from tonights game.

i'm looking around as my friends converse around me in my apartment. my roommates have already questioned me on the absence of my girlfriend. i wish i knew why she wasn't here either.

i enter the passcode to my phone in a hurry as i pull up her contact and type out a message.

Paige 💜🫶

hey, where are you? everyone’s asking about you... are you on your way?

i'm so sorry, babe. i can’t make it.

what?

i know, i know. I feel awful about it, but something came up the team wanted me to come celebrate tonights win with them

its my birthday paige you promised you would be here. going out with the team is suddenly more important than your girlfriends birthday?

it's not just "going out". it's to celebrate tonights win, and it's kind of a big deal. if i don't show up, it could look bad. i don't want to let them down, you have to understand.

no paige, i don’t understand. I’m standing here, surrounded by my friends, and i have to keep making excuses as to why you’re not here. do you know how embarrassing that is? to not have my own girlfriend show up to celebrate my birthday??

i'm sorry, okay? i’ll make it up to you. i’ll take you out somewhere nice tomorrow just the two of us, yeah?

no paige it’s not about “making it up.” it’s about showing up when you say you will. but you NEVER do.

that’s not fair. you know how much pressure i’m under i just want to celebrate the win, look i'll make it up to you tomorrow i promise.

paige i am so tired of this. seriously, you keep making empty promises, you get my hopes up only for you to tell me a half assed excuse that you pulled straight out of your ass last minute.

please don’t do this right now. i’ll call you after i leave.

don’t bother, we're done.

what??

read 10:56

what do you mean were done??

read 10:58

y/n answer me please baby

read 10:59

please ill do anything ill make it up to you i promise please answer my message baby

⚠︎︎ not delivered

꥟

ᵖᵃⁱᵍᵉˢ ᵖᵒᵛ

two years. 730 days. i lost her two years ago today, i lost it all. i know it was my fault, i put everything above her and i deeply regret it. now i have to live life in regret watching from the sidelines as she celebrates her birthday once again. this time, with her girlfriend.

her laugh filling the air knowing i used to be the cause of that laughter. admiring her from across the bar, sitting in between my teammates as they make conversation yet i can't bring myself to take my eyes off of her.

i scan ever inch of her body my eyes stopped on her wrist, then her fingers, then her neck. every single piece of jewelry i got her, gone. none of it in sight as if it never existed.

a hand on her thigh from a woman who was a copy of me. blonde, blue eyes, tall, and she plays soccer. but its not me. it will never be me again.

i can't even blame her, thats why i hate it. i hate that i can't hate her no matter how hard i try because in the end i will always love her and it will always be her.

even if i'm not her happy ever after. i distract myself trying to find someone new but it never ends well. i always find similarities between the girls i've gone on dates with and her. thats what attracts me to them, the fact that they slightly even look like her. but they will never compare to her full look, no one will.

so for the rest of time ill find myself watching from the sidelines seeing her take on life with someone who isn't me by her side, someone who looks like me but is not entirely me.

it will always kill me, it's going to eat me alive till i die. knowing that i'm not hers anymore, i won't be looking for her in the student section knowing shes there. instead ill be looking for her in the student section in hopes she decided to show up, but i know she didn't. she's going to be in the student section of the soccer games watching and cheering on her.

i won't be able to buy her flowers anymore, instead i watch as she gets gifted flowers by another woman. except those aren't her favorite. they're the wrong flowers.

i wont be able to buy her the perfume she always wears when it runs out, her signature scent that i always loved. instead i watch as she gets gifted perfume by another woman. she sprays it into the air and by the time it reaches where i sit i know its not the one she loves. its the wrong perfume.

i won't be making late night sephora trips, picking out her favorite makeup products when shes running low. instead i watch as she gets gifted makeup by another woman. its the wrong brand.

because of my mistakes, ones that i regret so deeply, i now live with the gnawing feeling knowing that she now loves a woman who doesn't pay attention to small details and gifts her all the wrong things, on her birthday of all days, but she showed up. i didn't.

clearly i lacked attention to detail as well if i couldn't see how much i truly disappointed and hurt her and didn't even show up. i wish it went down differently.

every shooting star, every coin toss into a fountain, every time the clock hits 11:11, every fallen eyelash, every dandelion, my last two birthdays, my only wish was to have her back.

but i cant.

not anymore.

and it hurts.

i open up my phone clicking on her contact, i type out one last message, even if i know she won't ever get it. i type it out and send it as some type of closure.

𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐢'𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲.

⚠︎︎ not delivered

𝐚/𝐧 — 𝐧𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐍𝐎 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫

𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝, 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 —

@uwupaige @jadasogay @sweetluna20

[grandlinedreams]

I forgot you had that list of prompts!! Could I please please pleeeaaase request 71 Law x reader? “I’ve never seen this man before.”

Maybe like Law pisses them off and they pretend to not know him? 🥺

ofc!! I need to figure out my tagging system 'n make stuff like that easier to find when it gets buried but also I gotta get my masterlist put together at all wlkjadf but YES i live for that kind of trope as long as it's not like,,,an indicator of bigger issues bc communication is key in relationships my friends!!

[heads up!: both reader and Law are a touch of orange flag behavior, touch of angst]

"How long are you going to stay mad at Captain?"

"I don't know, Bepo." The mink looks far from reassured by your answer, eyes flicking nervously over your shoulder and then back. You don't have to turn around to know Law is staring at the pair of you, the weight of his gaze square on the back of your head. "Did he tell you to come over here and ask?"

Bepo flinches, squirming nervously. You know he doesn't want to be caught in another of your spats ㅡ though they rarely happen, it's hard to keep your crew out of them when you're all typically confined in such a finite space.

There's a lot that anger dictates you say ㅡ that it's childish of Law to make Bepo come over here to ask instead, to try and wheedle his way into getting you to apologize first because he knows there's not much you hate more than upsetting Bepo and that it's not fair to the mink to make him choose between picking sides or playing mediator.

"Are you mad at me too?" Bepo's question pulls you out of your thoughts and you shake your head, expression softening.

"Of course not, I could never be angry with you." Again, you have to bite your tongue not to add more that'd further the distinct air of a pair of parents at odds with each other. "You can go back to Law, if you want."

Bepo still looks uneasy, but he slides off his seat and moves back towards where Law is sitting with Shachi and Penguin. Even though you know that you shouldn't assume, you don't blame them for taking his side. After all, they've known him longer, been through more with him, he means more to them.

But you? Even though you know they don't see you as such, you're temporary. The crew won't fall apart without you. You can leave and while it'll hurt for a while, they'll get over it.

You've never once feared that Law would demand you leave, but the fury in his eyes during your argument makes you reconsider it. Maybe you'd finally gone too far, and he's finally truly tired of having you around.

The idea of leaving the vessel that's been your home for the last handful of years and the people who have become your family makes your chest ache and your eyes burn with the threat of tears. You don't want to leave.

Lost in your your thoughts and the spiral that your mind threatens to tumble into, the hard clink of glass against the counter makes you jolt. Looking up at the bartender, you watch him jerk his head. "From that gentleman. You know him?"

The drink in front of you is your favorite. Normally you'd be touched that Law remembers such an obscure detail you've only ever mentioned off-handedly, but right now it feels like a slap to the face. Law is still trying everything he can but talking to you.

"I don't know that man at all," you tell the bartender flatly, handing over a couple of berri for your already finished drink and get to your feet. The path you take is intentional as you stalk past your crewmates' table, giving Law a look of icy fury before you continue on.

"You know Captain," Penguin suggests tentatively, "you could always just apologize. [Name] looked super pissed."

Law scowls. "More like being stubborn," he huffs, but guilt still pools in his stomach as he glances at the untouched drink on the counter. It feels like a cheap attempt at forgiveness the more he thinks about it, and he groans. "Fine, fine. I trust you can find your way back on your own?"

"We've got it, don't worry!"

Law gets to his feet, dropping off the appropriate berri for his drink as well before he moves off in the direction that you'd gone. The Polar Tang is quiet by the time he reaches it, lights dimmed for nightfall ㅡ and he slows his pace as he approaches his room.

What is he going to say? He knows he should apologize, but so should you ㅡ you've always had an innate talent for getting under his skin, something that he both loves and hates for how easily you do it. And while fights are truly something few and far between, this last one has left a bad taste in his mouth that only worsens the longer he lets it go.

Exhaling, he reaches for the handle. Part of him expected it to be locked ㅡ but it isn't, and his gaze flicks to you as soon as he walks in. Your back is to him, blanket pulled to your ear ㅡ but he knows the various rhythms of your breathing well enough to know you're not asleep.

He doesn't talk right away, busies himself with getting ready for bed as well before settling behind you and resisting the urge to roll his eyes when you scoot further from him. "Can we talk?"

"I guess." Your tone is clipped, and Law frowns as he reaches for you, hand on your arm.

"Are you going to look at me?"

"No."

Sighing, Law waits a moment before he begins tracing idle shapes against your arm, trying to soothe some of your anger. He knows you well, the way you can never quite stop yourself from leaning into him just a little bit, no matter how upset you are. "...this got out of hand."

You snort. "An understatement," you answer, but you lean a little further into him, and he takes it as a good sign.

"We both said things we didn't mean, and I wanted to apologize for how I talked to you." Law pauses. "And for sending Bepo to talk for me. And the drink."

"I would have drank it, but it felt like a cop out." You roll to face him properly now, and Law hates that he can see the red tinge around your eyes that always means you've been crying. "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have said any of that either. But you need to talk to me Law, you can't just shut me out because you don't want to be a bother."

"I know." It's easier said than done, but you're patient. He knows that, knows that because you've told him time and time again that there isn't anything that will make you love him any less, either from his past or in the future. ("You're stuck with me," you like to say proudly, and he's never heard better sounding words than that.) "I'll keep working on it."

"We can work on it together," you answer as you press closer and he finally, finally gets to hold you the way he's wanted to since you stormed off after the argument. "We're a team, you and I. You're stuck with me until you don't want me anymore."

Law stills for a moment and then wraps his arms around you, tucking his face into your neck. "Forever," he mumbles. "That's how long I want you. Is that okay?"

You shift against him just enough to press your hand against the back of his head, fingers brushing soft, dark hair. "That sounds perfect to me."

[venus-is-thinking]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 16: Initial Thoughts

Sorry for missing episode 15 :(

That being said, oh my god, Chapter 2 is actually complete! This is so exciting! I'm really hyped to talk about this episode and give my not-live summary of my live reactions!

SPOILER WARNING FOR DRDT THROUGH THE END OF CH 2!!!

CW: Murder, sacrifice, suicide

The Reactions

12-1, this time. I'm still personally partial to the extra vote on Teruko last Trial being Arei (being petty about her "I'm voting for you no matter what" thing), so I would assume Ace is the Teruko vote. If so, I do think it's interesting that he voted Teruko as opposed to, like, Nico. Then again, it might be that it's just more convenient for DRDTdev to consistently put the extra vote on Teruko, lol.

Notably, the dead people have "N/A," not 0. We probably could tell this because of Xander last time, but I didn't check. I wonder if this implies we won't ever need to vote for someone dead (ex. a mastermind who "died" earlier in the killing game).

I'm free... I can read whatever Eden says as genuine...

Take THAT, Whit time loop theorists /j

I do think it's funny/kinda telling? that Whit is only saying this after the trial is over. Like, I feel like the normal time to go "oh my god we're having another trial" is, like... when you find the body? So, it's interesting that his reaction is so delayed.

So, I don't know if this was an intentional parallel, but...

These feel similar to me. I really like the Ace/Arei parallels, where they're both chronically hated people, but Arei apologizes and tries to change whereas Ace lets the fear and paranoia consume him until there's no turning back. Ace only says this after he's already been found guilty of murder; Arei says this before promising to change her ways to the victim of her bullying.

Teruko out here hopping on that self-blame train.

It's so funny how different Hu's standards are when talking about Ace's murder vs. Nico's attempted murder. Like... Hu this is what everyone was telling you like an hour ago. What.

It's really interesting that we're highlighting this line. I wonder if this is part of a theme that we're going to explore further, maybe tied into the "all murderers have to be punished" thing. Or maybe Eden isn't actually accurate here, but doesn't know it; has Ace killed someone in the past?

Fun trick you can do here!

When we first met Teruko a week ago, she was the same person, certainly, but she was also different. She was happier, and she trusted people more.

There are so many good character parallels in DRDT. The Ace/Teruko one was really interesting in this post-trial.

Ooh, new flavor of J anti-murder! This seems to be broadening it to also being critical of the killing game, which would go against my weird hypothetical "J is anti-murderer but also the mastermind" read.

It's interesting, with how this is Ace's logic. It makes total sense for his character, though. I think it's easy for us, the viewers, to forget the fact that the characters probably don't have the precedent of "every blackened ever always loses." When Ace is running the odds, he thinks his survival odds were better as a killer than as a participant in the killing game. And y'know, considering how close he came to dying as Nico's victim, that's kinda fair.

I desperately want to know what Levi was going to say here.

I really like the fact that Ace DID care about Levi. That he intrinsically cares about him, but he knows factually that he isn't supposed to like or trust someone in a killing game. That once he killed Arei, he had to resolve to kill everyone in the killing game, even Levi.

The only way Ace knew to prevent himself from caring was to stay mad, I guess. Kinda unfortunate though, considering that I do think Levi wanted to patch things up with him genuinely.

Meanwhile, Levi, who doesn't understand emotions, is just like "man what the fuck. That makes no sense."

What a pair. I'm sad we're not going to get to see their dynamic anymore :(

In other words, I'm back on the Levi survivor train baby! My biggest problem with it before was that I thought Ace was gonna survive and I didn't think Ace and Levi were both gonna survive, so now we're locking tf in!

This is fun! I always wonder why more people don't try stuff like this. Like... shoot your shot. You're gonna die otherwise, soooo...

Great animation as always

I think it's really funny that Teruko is so fucking mad that she bullies Ace into action. Like, that's so fitting for both of them.

I love using this David expression here. He's just like, "was it that easy? Why was I trying to throw the trial then???"

aaaaAAAAAAAA--

What the fuck!! XF-Ture mention!!!!!!!!

I like the spooky vibe MonoTV has for this post-trial, but I do hope we get our normal silly lil guy back next chapter. I like the MonoTV personality we see all the time. I'm gonna miss it if it just died like that :(

I am also squinting so hard at everyone's reactions through "who is the mastermind" goggles. Maybe I'll analyze them in a different post sometime.

Fascinating purpose. Not "to create despair." Not "to run the killing game until only one participant survives." To kill everyone.

Does this include whichever mastermind?

Why does whoever programmed MonoTV want to kill all of these people? Are they being punished for something?

This countdown sequence fucked me up. The tensions and emotions are so high. Even as someone who was confident that Teruko, at least, wasn't going to die no matter what, I was so on edge. I got really scared that Eden was going to take the hit for Teruko, though, and that's what I was reading into when I wasn't sure Eden would make it to Chapter 3.

This speech, more than any other one Teruko has made or any actions she's taken or endured, really made me feel for Teruko. The fact that she can so casually talk about truly traumatic and horrific things happening to her, while smiling, truly shows how much she's grown used to it. Like, girl. You don't deserve this. What.

The character work on Teruko especially this episode is just fantastic. No words.

This panel stressed me out so bad because it was really just a question of WHO took the bullet for Teruko. Like, if she's thinking this, someone clearly did.

My bets were on either Eden, Charles, or Ace.

Levi, though, was such a surprise to see. Like, in a good way. It means so much.

First of all, it's a callback to the end of the prologue. Levi attacks MonoTV, and when MonoTV tries to kill him in response, Teruko's danger sense alerts her. It's only through Teruko warning Levi to move that Levi dodged the main attack, resulting in only an arm injury rather than death. Now, Levi returns her favor, preventing her from dying from attacking MonoTV.

Second, it puts Ace into the position we see of having to confront the possibility of Levi's death. I got the distinct sense that they wanted Ace to be able to do something heroic on his way out, to prove all the haters wrong (which is why I thought it was possible he'd take the hit for Teruko instead of Levi). By putting Levi, pretty clearly the person he cares most about, into harm's way, it makes Ace take action. It means that he HAS to confront the fact that he cares Levi, and that he has to die.

And, thirdly... I am so fascinated to learn why Levi did this. Was it as simple as a transactional, "you saved me from execution before?" Is it "I thought saving someone would make me a good person?" Does Levi actually feel some remorse for Teruko in this moment, causing him to take action?

No matter what his reasoning, I can't wait to hear from him. I strongly suspect Levi won't actually die from this (at the very least, I hope not, because I really want to hear more from him), but even if he does, hopefully we'll still get some more insight in a bonus episode or a flashback or something.

I'm trying to figure out what triggered Whit here.

This is immediately following "The elevator won't open," but it also definitely can just correlate to "[person] will die if they don't receive immediate medical treatment." I have to assume that something here is reminding Whit of his mom...?

With the weird "Whit knows a lot about hanging" earlier, I got the impression that Whit's mom probably hung herself. From this, I would probably theorize that Whit found her while she was still alive, but not quickly enough to save her. Yikes.

Anyways, I think that means everyone has some kind of despair sprite now! That's fun!

o7

I'm sure many have pointed this out, but do we think he's counting himself here (Arei + Ace + Levi = 3), or do we think he feels responsible for someone else's death in his past (probably Taylor)? I'd lean towards the second one.

Y'know, before I thought Arturo was just pressed about the surgeon thing because people were unfairly hating on him. This, at least, I think implies something relating to Felicity.

Arturo doesn't have any experience saving lives. He left, and Felicity died. He can't save lives; he's only responsible for Felicity's ending. I think that's how he sees it.

On a side note, I think there's a very definite possibility that Chapter 3 cold opens on Arturo saving Levi's life??? Like, how Chapter 2 started with Eden POV, I think Chapter 3 could start with Arturo taking his shot at healing Levi, eventually resulting in Levi stabilizing. I'm not sure who would be there with him. Possibly Hu, since she was leading the "let's get Levi to the infirmary" effort...?

I love executions like this. Accirax has said before that the best executions are what make their recipient feel the most despair, and that's definitely what they did with Ace here. Put the talent aside; fear is what Ace fears the most.

Uhhhh. I'm pulling an Accirax. Part 2 in reblog!

[alicesmindpalace]

A quick birthday 🎂 post about some of the reasons Iike and respect Ian so much.

I made one for Anthony's birthday and this is a good occasion to keep on talking about why Ian and Anthony are two of my favorite people.

Recently I've noticed that Ian is getting a lot of praise. In these last year or so there have been a lot of comments everywhere on youtube appreciating him for keeping Smosh alive all this time, being grateful for all that he has done during the "single working mom/dad working two jobs" era when Defy collapsed, and saying how great he is for the way he manages to foster such a good work environment at the company to this day.

So I won't add to that and just mention some other little things that I think should be mentioned more.

Referencing what I wrote in the Anthony birthday post, I always thought that Ian and Anthony handled the split with a lot of grace. It still blows my mind tbh how careful they've been to never say anything publicly that could even indirectly harm the other’s reputation, and that is so rare when these things happen. Ian especially as the person that most people considered the hurt party could have said things to gain the fans favor, it would have been very easy at the time because for a longest time the fandom was looking for someone to put the blame on. But Ian didn't turn Anthony as a villain in the eyes of the fandom even if he could have easily done it just by throwing some weird comment here and there, knowing that people were waiting for him to say something. He actually did the opposite of that and even when the chance was served to him a lot of times, he always refused to fall for the bait, and instead said nice things at the time, even if there was a bit of resentment there like he said after the reunion on a couple of interviews.

This obviously also speaks about Anthony's character too and who he is off camera, because there must be a reason Ian had that level of respect and loyalty. Like, I can't stress how rare this is, and how much I appreciated it.

Another random fun little thing that shows how respectful Ian is in these situations imo is how he always makes sure to subtly correct people in interviews and stuff, whenever the interviewers mention that "they" created Smosh as early as 2002 fr example. He could just roll with it, nobody would even notice, or know but he always makes it clear that it's Anthony that built the website and started the whole Smosh thing, and he does it when Anthony is not there to listen. It's subtle but a soon as he hears it he always finds a way to correct it, even in passing. I noticed this many times and I just love that.

He is very "fair" imo, and doesn't try to earn respect when he feels like he didn't deserve it, I still remember how genuine he sounded for example when he went out his way to correct Keith one time and say that he doesn't want his fans to defend him or to love him unconditionally, and wants them to hold him accountable, even when Keith had framed it in the way where it would have been easier for Ian to just agree with him and say that he's thankful for the fandom to be by his side no matter what. "I don't really relish in the idea of someone supporting me no matter what. I should be judged" /"The thing you said about unconditional love? The fans don't really know the person that they are a fan of".

Basically what I am trying to say is that I really appreciate that you can tell that he is a nice guy even though he doesn't do anything to sell you the idea that he is. He doesn't hide his love for drama, or gossip, or trashy shows or and doesn't hold back from judging or being cynical, he has a moral compass but it's his own and it's not for show or to gain any sympathy.

I think that what Ian said is true and it's impossible to know and to love someone unconditionally as a fan just by watching them through a screen, and my love is conditional, but what I can say is that what I have seen so far I really liked lol.

I think that people like Ian or Anthony are so difficult to come by! I'd talk more about how much I like them, but I want these posts to stay short so, yeah

Happy birthday to Ian!

[seospicybin]

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART II

I.N x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Jeongin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (12,4k words)

Author's note: Sorry for the delay. Enjoy this one too x

YOU: I grew up in a strict family and my mom thinks I'm a saint if only she knew... [chuckles] I'm not good at following rules [shrugs] I'm a natural flirt, I can't help it [bites lips] Jeongin is hot, he has a cute smile and I would love to break rules with him [smiles] I know I'm coming a little late but I think everything is a fair game.

-

It's not the kind of impression you want to give him when you almost trip on the steps as he leads you to the villa, you blame your wedged sandals for it.

"You okay?" Jeongin asks, offering his hand to you.

"I'm okay," You laugh it off and use it as an excuse to grab at his arm and help you walk.

"I think everyone is on the terrace," he mutters.

Instead of being nervous, you're so excited to meet the rest of the guests that you start giggling as he takes you climbing another set of steps to where everyone is.

"Hello, everyone," Jeongin greets everyone.

You wave your hand and put on your best smile at everyone sitting on the sofa. One girl with blonde hair has her jaws drop open seeing your hands are linking around his arm.

"Hi!" You sweetly greet.

While Jeongin introduces your name around, you look at each and every face, and notice that a girl is slightly not pleased to see you. You can safely assume that it's the girl Jeongin mentioned.

"How was the date? What happened? Tell us everything!" The guy with dirty blonde hair asks.

"It was fun," Jeongin answers, then glances your way.

"We had cocktails, we shared a fruit platter, it was sweet," you continue his sentence, smiling as you reminisce your date with him.

Someone raises his hand in the air and you both stop talking altogether, "Was there any rule-breaking?"

You look at Jeongin but he lets a moment pass in silence so you decide to answer it for both of you.

"No, there was no rule break," you confirm.

Jeongin lets out a chuckle and holds his hand up at the guy who asked, "Relax, Mick, we didn't spend any money," he assures him.

"Have a little faith in me," he adds with a laugh.

You go around getting to know everyone by their names and act calm when you find out the name of the girl Jeongin is currently with.

Then you decide to join them on the sofa and talking to the girls is always a good start.

"So, what is your type?" The blond girl asks which you learned her name is Francoise.

"Uhm..." you subtly point at Jeongin, "He is my type."

"Oh?" She responds with another surprised look on her face.

Just because Jeongin refused to kiss you doesn't mean you're already giving up on him. He doesn't want to do it because he's already with someone and he doesn't want to do it behind her back, you must admit that's an admirable thing to do.

But that's not going to stop you from also getting to know everyone else here.

-

YOU: I don't know how involved they are with each other so we'll have to see about that.

-

Jeongin finds Justine in the dressing and she's probably been waiting for him to talk. She smiles when she sees him coming into the room.

"Let's have a chat," she says.

He knows they'll eventually talk about the date and since everyone else is already in the bedroom, he decides that it's the right time to do it.

"Just a minute," he says, taking a moment to put on a t-shirt before sitting on the chair next to her.

Justine is playing with the make-up tools on the table, tapping her nails against a bottle of facial toner.

"So... tell me all about your date," she says with a low sigh.

Jeongin doesn't want to lie but he knows he shouldn't be too honest about it either. He puts his forthright self to the side and picks his words carefully.

"It was nice. We had a good chat, and we enjoyed getting to know each other," he decides to stop there even though he still has so many things to say about it.

"She's pretty. Very pretty," she comments, playing with her make-up brush next.

"Yeah," Jeongin agrees but in a weak tone.

Justine can't hide her feelings, it's obvious that she does not like this conversation so whatever she asks next, he should be more careful with his answers.

"And what do you think about her?"

"She's nice and

"But you guys didn't kiss," she says.

"Yes," Jeongin shortly answers.

She faces the mirror but he can feel her eyes on him, "Why?"

There's a difference between being a player and being disrespectful, and Jeongin believes that kissing a girl behind Justine's back is the latter.

"I don't want to be disrespectful to you," he answers.

Justine nods and lets him talk more about his decision not to kiss you.

"If the roles were reversed, I don't think I would like it if you kissed someone else," he explains.

A smile blooms on her face and she turns her head at him, acknowledging that he did that because he considers her feelings.

"I appreciate you for that," she says.

It wasn't easy to come to that decision but God, ain't he glad that he refused that kiss? That way he came to the right decision and hurt no one in the process.

She swivels her chair to face him and rests her hand on the side of the chair, "I'm not going to stop you from getting to know everyone, that's our deal but..."

She licks her lips and takes a second to pick the words to say, "If you want to be with her, I want you to tell me."

Jeongin agrees to it with a strong nod because that's the deal the two of you made, "Okay."

"Just be honest with me," Justine reminds him.

"You don't have to worry about that," he assures him because he's been nothing but honest.

Well, except when he told Linda what his favorite feature on her.

-

JEONGIN: I have this instant connection with the new girl but at the same time, I care for Justine.

-

It's not something you both planned, you bump into the other new arrival, Lou, he's about to head out when you come into the bathroom.

Since you both are new arrivals, you may as well talk to him about your respective dates or any potential connections.

"I took Bianca on the date but as soon as I saw Francoise, I think I messed up," he shares.

You can't say much as you're busy brushing your teeth so you nod while looking at him through the reflection in the mirror.

"The whole time we talked outside, she was looking at me," Lou continues, sitting on the edge of the tub while playing with his wavy hair as he talks.

"That gets me thinking that the guy she's with is just someone she's with, you know what I'm saying?"

You wash your mouth with water and move on to the next step of your nighttime routine, "Change of plans, huh?" You playfully say.

Lou's chuckles are echoing in the room, he clicks his tongue then looks at you through the mirror as you wash your face, "And Jeongin is still your top pick?"

You pick up a clean towel from the cabinet and slowly dab your face with it, "Yeah."

Lou also sees the complications in it since Jeongin is with Justine at the moment, "How serious do you think he is with her?"

You grab your tube of moisturizer and take a dollop of it onto the back of your hand, "I don't know but we got that sexual chemistry, we almost kissed," you explain and you're aware of how adolescent you sound saying that.

Even Lou notices that and gives you a strange look, "Mmm?

'I'm telling you, he definitely wasn't so closed off at all," you confidently say, lathering the cream all over your face while talking to him.

Lou cracks a laugh then says, "Fuck, they're going to hate us."

Well, it's not your fault for coming late and crashing the party. Isn't that the purpose of bringing in the new arrivals? To see how they handle temptations so now, it's up to them whether they can resist it or not and you're simply going for the one you want, Jeongin.

"You got to go for what you want to go for," you remark.

-

YOU: If I want something, I get it. I don't let anyone get in my way.

-

Even though it's your first day in the retreat, you find yourself having a good night's sleep that you wake up feeling so refreshed. You sit on the bed and rest your back against the headboard, reaching for the tumbler on the bedside table to have a sip of water.

Lou is groaning as he shifts on the bed and his eyes meet yours with his wavy hair covering his face, "Morning" he croaks.

As new arrivals, you and Lou have to share the bed and since he doesn't snore, you don't have any problems with him.

"Morning," you greet him back.

A while later, the cone chimes and your head snaps to see where Lana is. You spot her on the other end of the bedroom.

"Good morning, everyone," Lana greets.

"Morning!" Linda cheerfully replies to her while the others are too busy forcing themselves awake.

You get startled when Lana calls your name and then Lou, you intently listen to what she has to say to you.

"I hope you enjoyed your dates yesterday and your first night in the retreat."

"I slept well, Lana," you tell her even though you're not sure she'll hear it.

"I hope the other guests have been making you feel most welcome," she continues.

You fix the strap of your camisole and your eyes catch Jeongin looking at you, you hold the gaze for a few seconds before looking away.

"Glad to be here," you respond to Lana.

Jeongin may share the bed with Justine but he's been giving you these cheeky little looks and it makes you more confident that there's something there.

Just like now, Justine is clinging to his arm but his eyes are on you. You tease him by shyly looking down onto your lap but when you glance up, you give him an intense stare.

And the eyes, the eyes tell so much.

-

YOU: I'm looking forward to today. I'm going to be sexual because that's how I am and if anyone has a problem with it, I don't give a shit [laughs]

-

After working out, Jeongin joins the rest of the boys lounging by the pool to cool down before taking a shower. He chugs his water from a tumbler while listening to the guys talking about random stuff.

Something catches everyone's attention and makes them abruptly stop talking. Jeongin turns his head to see what everyone is looking at when it turns out to be you.

You're tying the bikini straps on your back as you walk out of the villa.

"Sheesh," Kurt quietly hisses, having a partner doesn't stop him from ogling at another girl.

You probably sense everyone's eyes on you as you walk across the pool. However, you don't seem to feel bothered with all these eyes on you.

"She's too fit," Mick lowly mutters as now the boys are silently watching you go for a swim on the beach. Even you can turn the sex cop's head and that says something

"She's literally too hot to handle," Keith says, embracing his availability and turning it into an opportunity.

Jeongin takes a moment to witness the boys acting like a bunch of horny teenagers seeing a grown woman for the first time, then shakes his head in disbelief realizing that he's one of them.

"Oops, boobies!" Kurt jokingly says seeing how your bikini top rides up and almost exposing your breasts.

That's so childish coming from a grown man with a big body like him but Jeongin finds himself laughing at it without realizing it.

What people say is probably true, boys will always be boys.

Seeing that you're making your way back to the villa, the boys hurriedly sit on the lounger and act like they didn't just watch you swimming from afar like a bunch of creeps.

The boys make it obvious that they're talking about you as they turn quiet when you walk past them, brushing your wet hair to the back and heading back into the villa.

"Fuck me..." Damon sighs, his jaws hanging open as his eyes follow where you're going.

It's the beads of water running down your skin, the way your hips swing as you walk, your body... oh, Jeongin can think of so many things he could do to your body.

The sound of the door being shut behind you snaps him out of his daze. He hurriedly collects his senses and reels himself back to reality.

"Man, don't ever leave me alone with that girl or I'll turn into a bad cop," Mick jokingly says with an overwhelmed sigh.

The boys are laughing at that while Jeongin can only lightly chuckle as he sips his water again.

"Don't worry, mate. I'll always be around her," Keith says.

Everyone has been good for these past few days and it only takes one girl to make them fall back into old habits, proving that no one is really taking the retreat seriously.

Jeongin admits that he may have failed it too because now he regrets not kissing you yesterday.

-

JEONGIN: I don't know what it is about her that makes us all go wild [laughs]

-

There's a good chance that Justine feels threatened by your presence that you always see her around Jeongin. She's been by his side the whole day and making it hard for you to talk to Jeongin.

In the afternoon, the boys are out for a workshop and the day has gone without a result.

You decide to get your make-up done early so you'll have time to find Jeongin and if you're lucky, you can talk with him.

Francoise joins you not long after, sitting on the usual spot at the end of the vanity table.

"Hey, girl," she says, putting all of her hair to the back and tying it into a messy ponytail, "how are you?"

"Good, great," you answer without looking away from the mirror and once you're done filling your eyebrow, you look at her, "You?"

Francoise digs into her makeup purse to take her things out and lay them out on the table, "Good."

She starts by applying cream all over her face, then dabs the rest down her neck.

"Tell me all about the boys," she suddenly says.

"They're all attractive," you give an obvious answer just to be safe.

"Anyone you like?" She asks, now applying a different cream to her face.

Not sure if Francoise is merely curious or she has intentions of asking you that but you're not going to lie and say something just to please someone.

You sheepishly smile and give a moment for the setting spray you applied to dry, "There's one."

Francoise lowly gasps, "Oh, who is it?"

You catch that glint in her eyes that threatens you to not say the name of her current partner and she can relax because it's not Kurt.

"It's the uh..." you pause as you look for your brush, "The one I took on the date."

"Oh?" She gasps loudly this time, sensing what your answer could cause.

"He is with Justine though so... what are you going to do?" She asks, propping a hand under her chin and genuinely concerned for you.

"I caught him looking, you know, giving me the eyes," you tell her while putting everything back into your make-up pouch.

Francoise is getting so invested in the drama already that she stops doing her make-up to talk to you, "Is he your number one or..."

"Yeah," you shorty reply.

"But is there anyone you like besides him?" She asks again with the glints returning to her eyes.

You check your make-up once again in the mirror and then lean back on your chair, "Uhm... who's the English guy with the wavy hair?"

"Keith?"

"Yeah, Keith, I like clean, pretty boys like him," you openly share with a smile.

"Yeah, he's cute, a real English lad," she agrees with a giggle.

Your chatter dies down once Bianca and Justine enter the room and Francoise continues doing her make-up while you take it as your cue to get your move on.

-

YOU: If Jeongin wasn't giving me any signals he was interested, I wouldn't try but I need to find out exactly what's going on.

-

Justine may have said that Jeongin is free to get to know anyone but since you came, she feels the need to sink her claws deeper into him.

How is he going to get to know you better if she keeps him around all the time?

When he finally gets time for himself Jeongin grabs a glass of wine and chooses the firepit as the place to enjoy the drink.

Not long after, he hears footsteps coming his way, he's about to dread it thinking that it's Justine. Instead, he finds you walking toward him, looking stunning in a skin-tight dress that accentuates every curve in your body.

You stop in front of him, standing and looking at him with a sweet smile on your face, then you cutely ask, "Do you mind if I join you?"

How can he say now when you sweetly asked him like that? Jeongin swallows his drink fast then stifles a nod.

You slowly sit so close to him even though the sofa can fit five people in it, you tuck the strand of hair escaping your messy bun and smile at him.

You don't say anything for a good minute, just staring at him with a smile lingering on your face and Jeongin starts getting comfortable with the silence too.

It's when Jeongin stares back into your eyes, that you look away and let out a light chuckle.

"Last night, I watched how you guys were in bed and stuff, and a few times I caught you looking at me," you say.

That's not what he expects to hear you say when you start speaking to him but he can't deny that because that's true.

"I mean it's okay, it's more than fine but it gets me wondering," you pause to tuck another strand behind your ear.

He gets what you're saying even without having you explain it. You want to know if the looks he gave you mean something or not. Honestly, the reason he did that is because he's simply attracted to you, something about you keeps luring him to look at you and he doesn't know how to make it make sense to you.

"I'm still trying to figure out our connection and if it's leaning towards friendship or—"

You cut him off with a question, "But are you sexually attracted?"

That gets him gulping air, "To you?"

"Yeah."

Isn't it obvious? But you want to hear him admitting it out loud. However, Jeongin finds himself nervously chuckling instead of answering.

"It's not a friendship then," you say, taking his chuckle as a confirmation.

He's the one shyly smiling at you right now and about to fold under your hypnotizing eyes.

You shift on your seat, sitting with your body fully facing him, and say, "But would you say I'm in a position where I shouldn't try to pursue you at all or..."

You gently place your hand on his knee and tilt your head to the side as you continue your sentence, "Would you still like me to continue getting to know you?"

Strangely, that question is easy and hard to answer at the same time. Easy because he is indeed attracted to you and wants to explore this connection with you but he's aware that he could do the same with the connection he has with Justine, not to mention, that she's been with him since day one.

Not getting an answer from him, you make the question simpler for him, "Would you rather me keep trying or would you rather me fully close off?"

Jeongin is only afraid that he wants to be with you because you're this exciting new girl and choosing you means that he throws away what he has with Justine.

But does he want you to fully close off on him?

"I don't think you should fully close off," he mutters then slowly exhales air.

"So it's a yes?" You demand to hear a verbal answer this time.

He yet again responds with a sheepish smile and you have to conclude yourself.

"It's a yes," you confidently remark, giving yourself the answer that you know is true.

-

JEONGIN: I really want to behave but she's making me hot and flustered. She's so tempting [groans]

-

All the attention you receive from the boys and these jealous eyes you get from the girls, they're nothing new to you.

It's not your fault that these boys are crowding around you, you're this shiny new thing and they're curious about you. You guess it's because you offer something different than most girls in here.

One guy in particular has his eyes on you all the time, Keith. He keeps standing on the side of the sofa instead of sitting on it.

"Get comfortable, babe, I don't bite," you playfully say, patting the space next to you.

He cracks a crips laugh, showcasing his perfect teeth at you, then hesitantly sits down.

"I don't think we talked before?"

Keith looks stunned that it takes him a moment to process such a simple question, "Yeah," he answers.

"Keith, right?" You ask just to be sure, sipping on your wine while at it.

"Yes," he excitedly answers.

On the outside, Keith is this tall man with a built body and effortless hair but what you see in him is this big golden retriever and you can imagine his tail is wagging as he speaks to you.

"So Keith, tell me what your hobbies are. What are you into?"

"Uh... travel? I like traveling a lot," he answers, getting a bit serious now.

"What do you like to do when you travel?"

"A lot of things. I'm an adrenaline junkie, surfing, snowboarding, bungee jumping..."

"Oh? I never tried bungee jumping before," you share, then take a sip of your wine.

"You should. It's really fun," he says, brushing his hair to the back with his hand.

You lick your lips before speaking, "Then we should do it together next time."

That gets him blushing and then cracks a laugh, "I'd love that."

You bring your glass close to his and clink it with his, "That's a deal!"

Keith is smiling ear to ear and you can hear the excitement in his voice as he speaks, there's nothing cuter than seeing a guy fawning over you.

"You're really beautiful," he blurts out and looks like he didn't mean to say it out loud.

You smile at that and tilt your head to the side, "Am I?"

"You're absolutely gorgeous," he emphasizes every word.

"Aw, thank you," you coo at him.

You're liking what you get from him, the attention and the soft gaze, but it's a bit disappointing that you don't get it from the guy you like.

On the good side, now you know where to go if Jeongin decides not to reciprocate.

All of a sudden, the cone in the corner of the room chimes and orders everyone to go to the cabana.

This will be your first time experiencing this session with Lana in the cabana so you don't get why everyone's mood instantly changes once everyone is seated on the sofa.

-

YOU: I don't know why everyone acts like somebody just died like... what's going on? It's just Lana.

-

Everyone gets tense when the cone chimes and then it suddenly turns quiet in the cabana. You don't know what's the drill here but your eyes are glancing side to side, looking at everyone's faces that show almost the same groggy expression.

"What's up, Lana?" Justine asks since no one is saying anything.

"I regret to inform you there has been a breach of the rules," Lana announces.

Someone messed up and Lana is about to out them, now you get why they're so nervous. You're scanning the faces to spot the guilty ones.

"Who's been bad?" Linda says with an accusing tone.

Your head is turning to see if anyone raises their hand or does whatever it is when they're trying to confess their rule break. However, everyone stays tight-lipped and acts innocent.

"Why are you so silent? You need to speak up!" Mick says, a bit too aggressive.

You look around again to see if someone falters at Mick's angry remarks and then notice the sly grin on Damon's face. You're not the only one noticing it, Mick glares at him and sighs.

"Not funny, man," Mick says, looking disappointed and fed-up.

Damon grins again then scratches the back of his head, "Uhm... Bianca and I shared a kiss," he finally admits.

"Again?" Francoise's eyes widen in horror.

"Felt right in the moment to do so," Damon says, adding a nonchalant shrug in the end which only annoys everyone.

"What are you doing?" Linda sharply gasps, her small round eyes almost popping out of her sockets.

You watch as it turns into a whole argument in the cabana over something that isn't should be a problem: kissing someone.

This time, Courtney asks the most important question of all, "You guys kissed and that's it, right?"

Her question only puts more pressure on both Damon and Bianca that either of them hesitate to tell the truth.

"A little something–something else happened last night," he meekly says after a while.

Lana decides to take control of the situation and reveals the rule breaks to everyone, "Last night, Damon and Bianca kissed multiple times but that is not all they did."

Next to you, Keith is constantly sighing and then lowly muttering, "Oh, come on..."

"They also engaged in prolonged, mutual gratification," Lana further reveals.

No wonder Damon and Bianca are so afraid to come forward, Lana basically tells the whole group that Damon and Bianca gave each other a hand job. You don't have any problems with the rule breaks but being exposed for the things you did, that's crazy.

"What even is that?" Linda asks in utter confusion.

Everyone is way too disappointed or too busy groaning in complaint to even answer her question.

"Damon and Bianca, your multiple kisses have cost the group $18,000," Lana informs.

Does that mean 6 grand for a kiss? Okay, now you see that should be a problem.

"Your prolonged, mutual gratification has cost the group a further $30,000."

Your jaws drop open hearing how much money have lost for some hand jobs under the cover at night.

"In total, these rule breaks have cost $48,000," Lana delivers the final bill.

"I'm speechless," Courtney says, planting her head in her hands.

It turns quiet again while the tension keeps building and animosity fills the air, making you afraid to even take a breath.

"The prize fund now stands at $128,000."

-

YOU: It's gone from bad to worse in a second.

-

What Jeongin is hearing is bad news after bad news and it's coming from one couple doing the same thing again and again which pissed him off.

They knew the consequences of their actions yet they chose to keep doing it and what do you call that? Selfish.

"Damon and Bianca, I asked you to respect my rules but instead of working on building a deeper more meaningful connection, you have continued to show signs that you may not be here for the right reason."

At this point, they deserve what's coming for them and he wouldn't be surprised if Lana decided to kick them out of the retreat.

"Therefore, I'm setting you the ultimate test," Lana announces.

"Damn..." Damon curses, holding the sides of his head in distress.

Jeongin doesn't know why Lana bothers to put them on a test, isn't it obvious that they're going to fail?

"To see if you adhere to my retreat rules under the most trying of circumstances."

Oh, no, wait. Lana, please don't say that—

"You will spend the night alone in the private suite."

-

JEONGIN: Lana, you're making a huge mistake.

-

This is going to be bad.

Jeongin thinks that everyone else agrees with him with how many groans and moans echo in the room. They broke the rules when everyone else in the room with them so what makes him think that they won't do anything when they're left alone?

"We're screwed," Linda meekly says.

"Just great," Justine mutters with an insinuating tone.

Damon looks at everyone and tries to convince everyone that he won't break any more rules.

"I'll be good, guys. I promise I won't spend any money," he says with a not-so-convincing facial expression.

Maybe Jeongin can give Damon the benefit of the doubt but when he looks at Bianca, she's just suppressing her laughs like it's just a joke to her.

"Bianca, you're not saying anything it's a bit worrying," Keith says, speaking everyone's concerns out loud.

Bianca only laughs harder at that, she covers her face with her hands and tries to contain her laughter. How can anyone believe her when she acts like this?

She then clears her throat and tries so hard to put on a serious face, "I won't break rules," she says.

Francoise shakes her head in disbelief, also not buying her statement when they sound like they're merely words.

"Please make your way to the private suite," Lana instructs both Damon and Bianca.

If there's one type of person that Jeongin hates in the world is the one who can't keep their word.

-

JEONGIN: Let's hope that Damon and Bianca keep their promise.

-

"Morning," Kurt sleepily greets everyone as soon as he wakes up.

"Morning," Courtney also greets from her bed, twisting her hair and securing it with a hair claw.

The moment everyone wakes up from their beds, the attention is on the empty bed at the end of the room which belongs to Damon and Bianca.

"What did you think Damon and Bianca did last night?" Mick asks, not sure who he's asking but everyone is not ready for that.

"Could be a lot of things," Lou mindlessly answers.

Hearing his answer, you snort as you sip your water next to him.

"It's a hell of a lot of money," Linda sighs with her eyes blank and heavy with sleep.

"I think if they broke the rules, that would be so disrespectful of them," Francoise says, clutching the duvet on her knees.

"Yeah," Kurt nods in agreement next to her.

While everyone else is busy thinking about whether Damon and Bianca break the rules or not. You're busy watching the bed across from yours, at Justine who has her head rested on Jeongin's shoulder and digs her long nails into his arm.

Ugh! You can't stand waking up and seeing Justine all over Jeongin. You have to do something about it.

-

YOU: Today, it is my mission to make it happen. It should be me on that bed.

-

No one wants to deal with Lana first thing in the morning and even worse is to deal with a potential financial loss.

The fact that Damon and Bianca take so long to get out of the private suite only makes everyone uneasy with each passing minute.

"Here they come," Courtney says, spotting Damon and Bianca making their way to the cabana.

Linda looks away after seeing them then slumps on the sofa next to you, "Oh, no. They're looking guilty," she meekly mutters.

It's eerily quiet even after Damon and Bianca take seats on the small sofa on one side of the room. People are trying to get clues on what happened in that suite from the looks on their faces and it's concerning.

"Have anything to say?" Mick asks them.

Looking at Damon and Bianca and how they avoid everyone's eyes only assures you that you're right to prepare yourself for the worst.

"Let's hear what Lana says," Damon says, losing that usual smug on his face this morning.

Lana shortly chimes and everyone gets quiet to hear her talk, "Last night, I gave Damon and Bianca a test to see if they could adhere to my rules while alone in a suite."

"Did they do it or did they not?" Justine impatiently asks.

Mick looks at the two again with blank, hopeless eyes, "I hope you guys don't let me down," he says.

Lana continues with her announcement, "Additionally, there's something I did not tell any of you."

Not only for them, that one catches everyone off guard, and with Lana, we never know what's going to happen.

"After numerous rule breaks, I wanted to know how committed Damon and Bianca were to my process. That's why if they failed to adhere to my rules in the suite, proving they're not here for the right reasons."

Damon and Bianca's faces turn to panic at the unknown terms of the test that Lana has only revealed now.

"And I will be sending them home."

-

YOU: Damn! Lana is not messing about.

-

The question is did they break the rules?

Jeongin looks around and everyone is just as nervous as him. Justine is fiddling with her nails next to him, Linda covers both of her ears not wanting to hear anything, and Mick has his head in his hands.

It's not just about the money, Lana will be kicking them out of the retreat if they break even a single rule and Jeongin feels a little faint, getting the feeling that they will be going home.

"I must tell the group that..."

And Lana dragging the suspense isn't doing everyone a favor.

"Damon and Bianca did..."

Jeongin lets out a sigh but his chest keeps tightening in every passing second.

"... not break any rules."

Cheers and applause erupt in the room, everyone shooting up from their seats and going at Damon and Bianca. When he thinks about it, it's funny that everyone is celebrating people for not having sex yet Jeongin joins the celebration.

"Bianca, girl, I am proud of you," Justine says as she hugs her.

When everyone has settled down, Damon and Bianca can finally let out a big breath of relief and laugh everything off.

"It wasn't easy, you guys," Damon shares with a dramatic sigh.

"Oh, yeah. We almost folded," Bianca adds with a laugh.

"The prize fund still stands at $128,000," Lana concludes with an update on the money.

After a very thrilling session in the cabana, Jeongin chooses to hang out in the firepit and it doesn't come as a surprise that Justine follows him there.

He lays on the sofa and places a cushion behind his head, facing the swimming pool instead of the sea view while Justine sits on the end of the sofa.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" She asks, hugging a cushion on her lap.

"Yeah, it's so nice in here," he sighs.

Behind her, Jeongin sees you walking out of the villa and going to the sun lounger next to the pool. Instead of sitting on it, you slowly bend down to put suntan oil all over your legs and eventually, your hands are going to your backside to rub it on both of your ass cheeks.

It seems like you're doing it on purpose to get his attention and you know what? That works. Jeongin instantly stops listening to Justine's talk as he puts all of his focus on watching you standing there and touching your body all over.

You finally sit on the lounger and your eyes eventually meet his, you don't hesitate to wave your hand at him with a flirty smile on your face.

His hand somehow raises on its own to wave back at you, he can see himself foolishly smiling too without having to look all the while Justine continuously talking to him.

"I don't think that we should —" she abruptly stops talking as she notices his eyes are looking nowhere at her.

Jeongin quickly looks the other way and shifts his attention back to the girl sitting next to him, "Sorry What were you saying?"

However, Justine turns her head around to see who's been stealing his attention away. Her eyebrows knitted after seeing you sunbathing across the pool, in other words, she's not pleased.

-

JEONGIN: Oh, fuck! [Facepalms]

-

It's time.

Justine had enough time to get to know Jeongin and you had enough of waiting for Jeongin to make up his mind so let's not waste any more time being stuck in this love triangle.

Tonight, Jeongin has to choose between you or Justine because he can't have his cake and eat it too.

Justine has had his chance and now it's your time but she's been making it an unfair game, always clinging to Jeongin and giving you a hard time to find a chance to be alone with him so what you're going to do is play by her dirty rules.

While Justine is busy doing her make-up, you sneak out of the dressing room and easily locate Jeongin, because he always chooses the bathroom to get dressed.

You find him leaning against the sink half-naked, styling his hair while holding a tube of pomade in one hand and the crease between his eyebrows shows how focused he is at the moment.

What catches your attention is the milky skin, the toned muscles on his back, and the evident veins coiling down his arms, he gets you biting your lips at the sight of his back figure.

You quietly enter the bathroom and lean against the glass wall of the shower, looking at him through the mirror and putting on a smile. You hold that pose until he notices you.

You crack a soft laugh when he turns around to see you, "Hey, how's your day?"

Jeongin has one corner of his mouth rising higher than the other and curls into a half-smirk after taking a look at you from head to toe and flicks his eyes back to your face.

 "Good," he shortly answers.

You tilt your head to the side and keep your sly smile on, "Want to make it better?"

You can see Jeongin slowly catching up to your intention as the other corner of his mouth curls and forms a full smirk on his face. He shyly touches his ear and is unable to speak.

You look him in the eyes and seductively say, "Meet me at the beach in 10 minutes?"

After a while, Jeongin breaks the eye contact and lets out a shy smile. He doesn't know what to do with himself but holding the edge of the sink behind him.

You let the tension build by taking a step closer to him and then stopping right in front of him. In this proximity, you can see the glints in his eyes, flickering like fireworks.

Without waiting for his answer, you tell him, "I'll see you there."

-

YOU: It's time for me to make my move.

-

"Fuck!"

Jeongin quietly curses once you leave the bathroom, biting his fist to hold himself from cursing again. He has to actively tell his brain to calm down and continue dressing up if he wants to meet you there.

Regardless of who he wants, you deserve a chance to try and change his mind.

Jeongin walks through the dressing room to check if Justine is still there and she is, she is too busy doing her hair to even notice him making his way through the doorway and then out of the villa.

He doesn't know if ten minutes have passed or not but he's nervous, not wanting to make you wait long. He fixes his shirt as he walks down the path to the beach.

Squinting his eyes, Jeongin finds you sitting alone by the beach with your toes dug into the sand. Your hair is floating around with the soft gust of wind coming from the sea.

Sensing his arrival, you slowly turn your head to the side and smile the moment you see it's him.

Jeongin doesn't say anything but sits there on the sand with you, looking at the beach and how the water level recedes as the night gets late.

When he turns his head back at you, his eyes instantly meet yours.

"I feel like we need to have this chat 'cause I feel some type of way every time I see you with Justine in bed," you say.

You tuck the stray hair covering your face and put it away, "It should be us on that bed," you add.

It seems like you and he shares the same vice, you both are very straightforward, and he finds comfort in that.

"So what happened? Why am I not on your bed?" You ask with that head tilt you always do like a cat that asked to be pet.

"Because..." Jeongin's mind suddenly turns blank, he turns his head back to the sea like it would help him find the answer.

"Because Justine and I got it since day one," he finishes his answer with a safe one.

"But I'm here now," you tell him, your hand goes to the side of your head to keep your hair from being blown away.

"Then you came, yeah," he sighs and he doesn't know why, he feels like holding his breath when he's with you.

"And your head turned," You say with a flirty smile.

The way that you said it not as a question but a statement like you know for sure his head is turned... now that level of confidence is attractive.

"Obviously, you're a beautiful girl," he couldn't deny this and you know that it's true.

His head is indeed turned but that's not the problem here. He doesn't know if you've been ignoring it or completely don't care that he's currently with someone right now.

"But I'm with Justine," he remarks.

Your glossy lips curve into a smile and simply answer, "You think I care?"

So you don't care that he's with Justine or with someone else for that matter.

"I wouldn't take you here if I cared and you know what?" You tuck another strand of hair stuck to your lips, "You wouldn't come here too if you're not interested."

You really got him there that he has no reasons or excuses left in him to deny his liking towards you like it isn't obvious enough.

"I'm going to be honest," you say, shifting your body to face him and daringly staring into his eyes, "I know what I want, and what I want is you."

Oh, fuck, he curses inside his head.

Your confidence, your directness, your honesty, and your overflowing sex appeal, all of those things make you one dangerously alluring girl and it makes him even more nervous.

You prop your hand against the warm sand and ask him such a simple question, "So what are you going to do?"

-

JEONGIN: The eyes she's giving me right now are making me weak.

-

Even so, Jeongin can't answer that question. Not because he doesn't have the answer, but because he has so many things running through his head at the moment.

Getting no answer from him, you help him find the answer by suggesting a wild idea.

"How about we lose some money right now?"

That caught him off guard that his head snapped your way, "What?"

"A kiss," you lightly say like it doesn't cost $6,000 and potentially get burned at the stake by the group afterward.

The last time he did break a rule, it wasn't a nice experience and he certainly doesn't want to go through that again.

"Once we kissed and you don't feel any sort of feelings for me then... you can walk away," you devise a compromise with him.

Jeongin is interested in that idea. One kiss to see how connected he is with you, one kiss to know which one he should choose, and ultimately, one kiss that answers it all.

You don't wait for his answer and gesture him to get closer, "Come closer," you sweetly whisper as low as the soft gust of wind blowing his way.

Jeongin obeys without complaint, closing the gap between your bodies, and sits really close to you.

You reach for his jaw and hold the side of his face as you murmur, "You think I'd let you refuse my kiss again, huh?"

He opens his mouth to say something to that when your lips get ahead of him and shut his mouth with a kiss.

The way you passionately kiss him tells him how much you want him and it's arousing him that he finds himself returning your kiss as hard.

Jeongin doesn't really seek that spark but he feels that fluttering feeling, stirring and swirling, like a kaleidoscope of butterflies flying around in his stomach.

He opens his mouth to have you more and kisses you harder and deeper, his lungs start screaming for air. He lets the kiss continue for another moment before breaking the kiss and he can hear you gasp for air the moment he lets go of your lips.

"That was good," you say, licking your lower lip as if you seek the taste of the kiss that lingers there.

Jeongin sheepishly smiles and finds something to say to you that he knows is true.

"You're a good kisser," he compliments.

"I know," you coyly say.

That confidence never ceases to amaze him which assures him that the connection is there and it's getting deeper the more he knows you.

Aware of how dangerous things get, he draws a sharp breath through his mouth, "Oh, you put me in a predicament," he mutters.

On the contrary, you triumphantly smile because the kiss seems to have answered all of your questions yet you still come up with another one.

"So, see you in bed tonight?"

-

JEONGIN: I've got two beautiful girls making me feel a type of way. What am I going to do?

-

The night goes on but Jeongin can't tell which one he fears most: Lana reveals the kiss he did with you or Justine finding out about it.

Consider it his lucky day because Lana chooses not to spoil the rule break today and saves it for tomorrow. But that doesn't mean he has passed the hard thing, he still has to do the other hard thing.

Not telling Justine about the kiss would only make it worse so whether he likes it or not, Jeongin has to tell her about it as soon as possible.

He comes to the bedroom knowing that Justine is already there and yes, he's aware of the glare you aimed toward him right now as he sits on the edge of the bed.

Since Justine is talking with Courtney on the next bed, he reaches for her hand to get her attention.

"Can I talk to you?" He quietly mutters, trying not to draw any attention to both of them.

"Okay," Justine says.

Jeongin chooses the dressing room because it's the closest room, sitting on the empty chairs facing each other. This is his chance to tell him but he keeps retreating, not because he's scared but because he's aware of his bad habit of being so forthright with his words.

He takes a moment to carefully pick his words and exhales air before talking.

"Here's the shitty situation and it's going to make me sound like an absolute prick," he begins.

He tries not to look her in the eyes, afraid that it would make him keep retreating with his intention.

"But I'm going to be completely honest because it's the best way to be," he continues.

And he's right, Justine is already sensing that she wouldn't like what she's about to hear and starts making these wistful eyes at him.

However, Jeongin stands firm and reminds himself of what he needs to do here, "I can't lead two girls on and it's not fair."

He knows that he needs to soften the blow by telling her the reasons why to avoid her getting it all wrong. He arranges words in his head before saying them out loud.

"I like being with you, we've got a connection," he tells her, "But what I have with her—"

Justine cuts him off, "The new girl?"

It's unclear why she always addresses you as 'the new girl' but he's not going to mix that issue into this. He nods and continues talking, "I think the connection that I have with her is not worth giving up. I'm willing to give it a go."

The radiance on Justine's face gradually fades in each passing second like someone turns the brightness down. She looks down on her lap and fiddles with her nails, and he gives her a moment to process this.

"Did you guys... talk?" She meekly asks.

"Yes, and we uh..." he struggles to finish the sentence knowing that it'll be unpleasant for Justine.

But he has to, he promised to be honest so here it goes, "We kissed."

Once it's out, he feels so much lighter and he can confidently continue, "I feel something deeper with her."

Justine is lightly bobbing her head whether as a gesture that she accepts it as it is or she only does it to get things over with.

"Are you going to sleep with her?" She asks even though she wouldn't like the answer.

"Yes," Jeongin replies.

He understands well that it's a lot to take in and the fact that it's hard for him too proves that he does it out of care and mostly, out of respect for her.

He places his hand on her shoulder and slowly brings her close for a hug, it won't do much to comfort her since he's the one causing this inconvenience.

"Sorry for putting you in this situation," he murmurs his sincere apology.

But Justine chooses to accept her defeat in silence.

-

JEONGIN: I feel bad for being abrupt with Justine but it's the only way.

-

Is it just you or everyone else is also anticipating his return to the bedroom?

You saw Jeongin left with Justine and that means, they're having the talk right now. It's either about the kiss or the bed situation, or even both.

You're restlessly waiting on the bed thinking about who is he going to pick to be his bed partner. Is he going to stay with Justine or will he switch bed to be with you? 

Honestly, you hate losing but what you're going to hate more is seeing Justine all over Jeongin every day for the rest of the retreat, and you feel bitter just by imagining it.

The kiss not only assures him but also assures you that you want him and you want him to want you too.

You're hardly listening to the conversation going on in the room but you notice that everyone stops talking when Jeongin returns to the bedroom by himself.

He looks around the room and notices that everyone's attention is on him. The moment his eyes meet yours, your heart skips a beat.

While the conversation in the room continues at a lower volume than before, you quietly watch him walk to his usual bed with Justine and then sit on the edge with his back facing you.

He chose her, you mutter inside your head and your hopeful heart drops to your stomach, making you feel sick.

You look away, not wanting to keep watching how your endeavors turn into a major fail. You slump on the bed and pull your duvet, wanting to get this day over with.

It turns quiet again and you reckon it must be Justine coming into the room, you quickly shift your body to the side with your back facing the door.

Then you see Jeongin come and put his things on the bedside table. You glance up to see if it's really him and your heart inflates with hope again. You hurriedly get up from the bed to make space for him.

"Do you want to take this side or this side?" You ask, offering him which side of the bed he prefers.

"Doesn't matter," he answers.

You scoot to the side to make more space for him on the bed, throwing away the extra cushions onto the floor. You're too ecstatic with the fact that Jeongin chose you and you're not going to let all these judging looks everyone is giving you right now ruin it.

Jeongin settles himself next to you, getting under the cover and also ignoring all the curious eyes wanting to know what has just happened.

Lou notices that his role as your bed partner has been replaced and without saying anything, he goes to Jeongin's former bed to sleep with Justine by default.

"Sorry," you mouthed at him.

"It's okay," he mouthed back with a thumbs-up.

You put your attention back on the guy next to you and now that he's here, you suddenly feel awkward talking to him. You hesitantly reach for his hand resting on the space between you, you take it and put it on your lap. You've never seen such an attractive hand, it's big with long slender fingers but what catches your interest is the veins coiling down his arm.

You turn it over and put your hands together to compare the sizes, "it's bigger than mine."

Jeongin smiles at that and jokingly says, "Nah, your hand is too small."

You wrap your hand around his thumb and Gosh, that makes you wonder if he's big elsewhere too.

Using your index finger, you trail down the evident veins that go from his forearm to the back of his hand, and at the end, you turn his hand over and place your hand inside his hand.

"It's a bit rough there," he says.

It is rough but not the uncomfortable kind, "I like it."

You look at him and curiously ask, "Do you play instruments?" 

He looks down at the way your fingertips lightly rub his palm and answers, "I play piano."

"That explains why your hand is beautiful," you compliment him and you like how he gets all shy whenever you do that.

Jeongin touches his ear even though he can't do anything to hide his reddening ear but it makes you want to do more so you slip your fingers in between his and hold his hand.

The moment is interrupted by Justine's dramatic entrance to the bedroom, she glances your way and probably sees that Jeongin is already on your bed. She then goes to her bed and acts as if nothing happened.

And you're not going to let that ruin your happiness too.

-

YOU: You know what? All's fair in love and war [shrugs]

-

Last night, the two of you talked a little more before sleep, said goodnight to each other then turned away from each other.

However, when Jeongin wakes up in the morning, he finds himself spooning you and his arm is around you. He carefully retracts his hand away and accidentally wakes you up in the process.

You turn your head to look at him and sleepily smile, "Morning!"

Jeongin brushes his messy hair to the back and hoists himself up, "Morning," he says back.

You stretch your arms and legs out with your eyes screwed shut while making adorable noises like a kitten waking up from a nap. 

Jeongin grabs his water tumbler, taking a sip as he watches everyone else also getting up from their bed after the lights turned on.

"Morning, everyone!" Linda sweetly says while holding her tousled hair on the top of her head.

"Good morning!" Courtney beams from the other side of the room.

Even with his eyes still heavy with sleep, Mick takes his duty as a sex cop seriously by asking the important question.

"Did anyone break the rules?"

Jeongin has been considering of doing a different strategy, instead of keeping it until the last minute, he figures it's best to tell everyone about his rule break now.

He raises his hand and keeps it in the air until Mick notices, "We kissed last night," he simply admits.

Mick shoots him with a glare then sighs, "I kind of guessed you guys did," he says while scratching his shoulder.

It's probably too early for them to deal with it or that they knew from the moment he switched bed with you, they seem to let this one slide easily.

Jeongin can't believe that his strategy works.

"Anyone else?" Mick asks with eyes meticulously scanning the room.

All eyes are on the most spending couple in the retreat, Damon lets out a chuckle and scratches his head, "No, we didn't," he coyly denies.

Unlike Justine, you give him the space he needs and Jeongin can freely do what he wants. He starts his day by working out as usual and getting some breakfast after a shower. He doesn't see you until it's time to go to the cabana.

"Miss you," you cutely say with a delighted smile on your face.

Jeongin sheepishly smiles and lets you link your arm with his as he sits next to you.

As expected, the group doesn't say much about his rule break and takes the $6,000 deduction well. And also because, they're more curious about the gifts on the table.

"As you can see, I have a gift for you all," Lana finally addressed the small boxes that matched the number of guests in the retreat.

"The purpose of this gift is to help you learn how to be motivated by genuine feelings of connection, as opposed to lust," Lana further explains.

"So, we're making progress?" Kurt asks around.

"That's a good thing, yeah," Courtney agrees.

"You may now open your boxes," Lana orders.

Jeongin takes two and hands one to you, everyone is exclaiming almost at the same time when they find out what's inside: a watch.

"When I observe two people forming genuine connections, they will be given a green light, like this."

Lana demonstrates by turning everyone's watches chime and lights up in green which excites everyone.

"While your lights are green, retreat rules do not apply for a limited amount of time."

"For how long?" Damon asks.

"She said a limited amount of time," Justine answers with a sly grin thrown his way.

"With this green light, there will be no more spending money," Mick remarks in all seriousness.

Jeongin is not sure that the existence of these watches would stop these people from breaking the rules, especially those who can't wait for them.

"Now that you have the watches, if you do not abide by my rules, there will be severe consequences," Lana warns for the last time.

-

JEONGIN: I'm so happy to get this watch. Now I can focus on my connection with her.

-

While the girls are still getting ready, the boys are gathering in the firepit and Jeongin is there as a quiet listener to all the random talks going on all at once.

"I wonder how Lana is going to give these green lights," Kurt says while observing the watch around his wrist.

Rather than answering him, Keith comes up with a different question, "Who do you think is going to be the first one getting a green light?"

"I don't know," Lou sighs.

"Definitely not me," Damon jokingly says.

Jeongin always thought that if there's one couple more established than the other it's Damon and Bianca but hearing that makes him doubt it.

"It's Lana, she's not going to make it easy," Lou says, being the reasonable one among the bunch.

Jeongin strongly agrees with him so he nods and says, "Yeah, I think so too."

Kurt puts his foot down and leans forward, "But bro, if they go green, you can do anything," he says with bewildering eyes.

"Anything you want, yes," Lou emphasizes it for everyone, then sips his drink.

"I need to know how long though," Damon reclines on the sofa and spreads his arms out on the headrest of the sofa, "Like is it long enough for just a kiss or long enough for a quickie?"

Mick almost spits his drink when he hears it, "A quickie?"

Kurt foolishly grins and slaps Damon's knee, "That's what I was thinking."

Lou has his forehead wrinkled into a questioning look on his face, "How are you going to, like... shouldn't you get it up first, bro?"

"It turns green and you just go at it," Damon simply resolves.

Everyone bursts into laughter and there's no denying it anymore, boys will always be boys.

"How about you though?" Damon says to Jeongin.

"It's going to be tough for you, man," Keith says, grinning at him but in a way that hints he's both jealous and concerned for him.

It's indeed a little concerning and Jeongin has only shared the bed with you for one night, so far things are good but knowing you and your alluring charms, he gets that feeling again that it's only about time.

"How was it sharing a bed with her?" Kurt curiously asks.

"It was nice and fun, she's so friendly," Jeongin sincerely answers.

"Friendly, huh?" Damon says with a wink, taking his answer out of context.

"Let me know when you need to tap out," Keith jokingly says.

However, Jeongin knows that it's not a joke to him but there's a more important thing than kissing and that is getting a green light with you.

-

JEONGIN: All I want to do is kiss her so I'm going to try and get a green light.

-

It's going to be a good night, you can feel it.

You feel good in your dress, you feel good when you check your appearance in the mirror and you feel exceptionally good about yourself.

It feels even better now that you have someone to share this feeling with.

"You look nice," you compliment him.

He's indeed looking nice in a simple outfit of blue jeans and a white shirt, but he knows how to make such a basic look work.

That's another thing you like about him, he has this impeccable way of dressing and it shows.

"I like your shirt," you say.

The short sleeves of his shirt showcase his bulging biceps as he stretches it on the sofa.

"Thank you," he sweetly says with a smile.

You poke his dimple before it disappears and compliment again, "I like your dimples too."

He cracks a laugh this time and watches you lift your arm in the air, shaking your hand.

"I think it's not catching any signals," you playfully say.

Jeongin breaks into another wave of laughter and brings your hand down, "Do you think by complimenting me you'll get a green light?"

"Mm-hm," you innocently nod.

He lightly shakes his head and drains his glass of wine, "I think Lana won't fall for that," he says.

Everyone else is there and can see what you're doing so you can't do much but put your legs on his lap and your arm across his chest.

"And you don't have any compliments for me?" You ask, batting your eyelashes at him.

He puts away his empty glass and looks at you, "I think you look gorgeous," he says.

"You think?" You pout to show your displease.

"You are gorgeous," he corrected his earlier remarks.

"What else?" You demand more compliments while maintaining eye contact with him.

"Hmm..." he cutely purses his lips as he thinks, "I like your dress."

"Okay, what else?" You demand more.

Jeongin looks at you from head to toe to find something to compliment, he places his hand on your shin as he says, "I like your shoes."

You playfully kick your feet in the air to show off your laced-up heels to him, "Cute, right?"

He slides his hand down to your ankle and you like seeing his hand on you, "They're cute," he agrees.

"They kind of painful to wear though," you share with a pout.

You've been finding a way to be alone with him and blatantly doing it would spoil it but now, you have found an excuse you can use.

"I need to change my shoes," You slowly get up from the sofa and offer your hands to him.

He does nothing but look at your hands, then at you.

"Come with me!" You say, taking his hands and dragging him with you to the dressing room.

Once you're there, you take off your shoes and put them under your closet. Not giving him time to escape, you grab him by the elbow and lead him to sit on the chair.

"We're going to stay here for a minute," you tell him, sitting sideways on his lap to not let him get away.

Jeongin clearly catches up to your intention, it's not about the shoes, it's you wanting to get him alone with you.

"What if someone comes in?" He asks.

You laugh at that and simply respond, "But we're not doing anything."

"You're doing things here," he says to you with a knowing smile.

You rest your hand on his chest to hold him down, "We're not going to do anything you don't want," you assure him.

-

YOU: Jeongin is so hot and I just want to rip his clothes off [chuckles]

-

As you stare at his face, you get reminded of how you saw him in a picture when they told you to pick one to get on a date. But you know what? The picture doesn't do him justice.

Jeongin is much more beautiful in real life. He has a pair of eyes like a fox, angular jaws, a sharp nose, and plump lips that get you biting your lips, tantalizing you to feel how soft they are.

You place your hand on his chest and lovingly gaze into his eyes, deciding to continue your train of compliments for him.

"You're so handsome."

He has all these masculine features on him but when he smiles, it softens all of the edges and he turns into this cute guy with a warm smile.

"Thank you," he calmly replies.

You put your hand around his shoulder and the other hand is feeling the toned muscles through his shirt.

"You're so hot," you seductively say.

"Thank you," he shortly responds.

You know compliments won't get you far so you take a bold move and run your hand through the nape of his neck. Jeongin shivers when you do that and that gives away the fact that his neck must be one of the sensitive parts of his body.

You gently tug at the hair on the back of his hair and at once, you pull his head to the back, sending him looking up at you.

You tantalize him with your lips, dragging them down his jawline before placing a kiss on the skin behind his ear. You feel his hand on your waist, gripping the fabric of your dress.

You smile knowing that you get him good and continue the trail of kisses down the column of his neck. This time his other hand grabs at your thigh but doesn't go higher above the knee.

"I know you want this," you whisper at him.

"But we can't," he hisses.

Feeling mischievous, you take a playful bite at his ear and a breathless moan slips out of his parted mouth. He grabs at your thigh again and you can feel his nails digging into the flesh.

"I can't promise I'm not going to try and break any rules tonight," you tell him.

Sooner or later, you both will break a rule, it's inevitable, not with this much sexual chemistry you have between you.

"We just got the watches," he reminds you.

But his arm is tightening around you and his other hand is inching closer to the hem of your dress.

You kiss him on the neck again and softly whine into his ear as a way to complain to him, "It's going to take a long time though."

"We don't want to risk getting kicked out, mmh?"

Jeongin is the most reasonable one out of the two of you but that means the chance to break rules stays at fifty percent.

-

YOU: Obviously, I want to get a green light but talking about feelings, it's just a bit... [cringes]

-

Jeongin should consider that he has passed one of the hardest tests in retreat so far.

You should trust him when he says it takes everything in him not to fold when you sweetly ask for a kiss and he won't give it to you. It even surprised him how much he restrained himself from temptations.

And even though it's bedtime, Jeongin remains cautious.

You're the last to join him on the bed and stay quiet as you climb onto the bed. That gets him wondering if you're mad about him refusing to rule break with you.

As you sit on the bed next to him and apply hand cream on your hands, he reaches for your head and softly gives your hair a ruffle.

"What took you so long?" He carefully asks.

You slowly turn around on the bed and look at him, "I chatted with Keith for a bit," you answer.

His eyes hover on the hunky guy occupying the bed at the end of the room and silently boring a hole in between his eyes with his laser eyes.

He knows Keith won't give you up that easily.

"Goodnight, beautiful people!" Courtney mutters as the lights are off.

You pull the duvet up to your chest and peck him on the cheek as a goodnight kiss.

"Night," you mutter before turning on your side of the bed and giving your back to him.

Jeongin is not the kind of person who holds grudges over something or someone, but he hates to go to sleep with this tugging feeling at his chest.

He puts his arm around you and pulls you close until your back meets his chest. He can hear you smiling without having to look at it.

Jeongin can let out a sigh of relief and when he inhales air, he can smell the sweet scent of your shampoo clinging to your hair.

"You smell so good," he murmurs at you.

"Thank you," you murmur back.

You start rubbing your hand up and down his arm in a fluttering way that makes him tingle inside. You bring his hand close to your mouth and kiss it.

Jeongin buries his nose in your neck and kisses you there, he can feel how soft your skin is as he places little kisses down your bare shoulder.

"You're so soft," he compliments again.

"Thank you," you mutter in a giggly tone.

-

JEONGIN: We've only just got our watches, but I'm really struggling to not break the rules right now.

-

The next thing he knows, he has your body molded against him until there's no gap left between your bodies.

He lets his hand freely explore your clothed body, feeling every curve of it and picturing it in his head as he goes. He stops when he meets the skin he can touch, feeling how soft it is under his fingertips.

"Mmh... so soft," he delightfully hums.

He continues the exploration and turns to the side where he rests his hand on the curve of your hips, he rubs the skin in circular motions before sliding it down the side of your thigh.

"You're so soft all over," he whispers with his hot breath fanning your neck.

You turn around on the bed and lying on your side facing him, you lift your head to place his arm under and use it as your pillow.

Then you slip your arm under and pull him close, letting his body eclipse yours. This way, he can feel your body against him, your body heat, your softness, your curves and edges, just you under him.

Jeongin uses this as an opportunity to get back at you, doing what you did to him, kissing your neck and nibbling at your ear.

As Jeongin switches to the other neck, you whisper to him, "Everyone is sleeping."

From the quiet and stillness that hangs in the room, Jeongin can confirm that everyone else is already sleeping but that's not the problem here.

He lifts his head and props his elbow against the mattress, he looks at your face under the low light of the sleep lamp. And honestly, teasing you has been making him horny too and he can't resist it anymore.

Slowly, Jeongin places his lips on yours and quietly makes out with you as you pull the duvet to cover both of you.

The kiss is so good that he keeps kissing you and you keep giving it to him, opening your mouth for him so he can taste more of you.

You keep things interesting either by biting his lips or twirling your tongue with him in between kisses and Gosh, he loves every bit of it.

Fuck money, it's worth more than that.

Jeongin is so fully immersed in the kiss that he doesn't notice your hand that goes down to the waistband of his boxer, tugging at it to find access inside.

He forces himself to pull away from the kiss to say, "You can't do that, baby?"

You slyly smile and boldly say, "Why don't you try and stop me?"

You waste not another second to slip your hand inside his boxer and instead of stopping you, Jeongin lays back on his side of the bed and closes his eyes as he feels your hand wrapped around his length.

-

JEONGIN: A part of me just thinks "fuck it" [laughs]

- 

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[cherikdogfood]

do you ever think about whether Erik tried to reach Charles telepathically in DOFP before finding out about the effects of the serum? because i do, and then I cry, because oh my god.

I do 😭😭 and I have tons of thoughts about it.

There's the standard, most heartbreaking thought that, like you said, Erik is in prison and he calls for Charles, but at this point in time Charles is using the serum so he doesn't hear Erik, and Erik is just confused and he wonders if maybe Charles doesn't want to talk to him anymore, and maybe Erik thinks Charles finally lost hope in him, maybe Charles doesn't love him anymore maybe Charles finally realizes there's no good in him, and Erik panics and just feels so heartbroken.

So that day when he was rescued and he comes face to face with Charles, even though Charles' first reaction was to punch him, Erik is still overjoyed because this is the love of his life, he's here, Charles didn't give up on him, and so on...

And then Erik finds out about the serum and he's just furious, and he thinks, Charles just gave up on mutantkind? Charles just gave up and hid his powers? Charles... Just gave up on him? Erik is angry and feels betrayed... And so he lashes out and he and Charles fight (that plane scene in dofp).

And, let me be clear that I do not hate Erik. But I kinda hate the dofp plane scene because I don't think Erik was being fair (about the serum and Charles). (It was just emotionally devastating, okay).

I mean, Charles literally lost his legs, sister, and boyfriend, and then his students (who must've been the ones keeping him going) leave to war, and he's alone inside his head, and on the beach in Cuba Erik was the one who shut Charles out (I know Erik had his reasons for doing so, but him putting on the helmet right after killing Shaw is just urgh), so I think Charles was in a really, really bad place and I understand why he took the serum.

Throughout the X-Men movies Charles has always been the one helping others, the one who has to be kind and patient and the father/leader figure. He uses his wealth, powers, time, influence and everything else to build a school for mutants, and still it's not enough. He's never enough. He's got a heavy weight on his shoulders and he's so alone. During the one time he's in a bad place and took drugs, the lowest point of his life, where was Erik? Fighting his mutant war, leaving Charles, who was in a bad place because of Erik (at least partially), alone.

And then in the dofp plane scene Erik just blames and bashes Charles for it.

I dunno my heart just always hurts watching that scene. I mean, thinking about it from Erik's perspective also hurts a lot (he's been calling Charles for years, thinking Charles doesn't want him anymore) and he's just heartbroken and then furious when he finds out Charles couldn't hear him because of a stupid serum.

I am so sorry that ended up being super long and I kinda ranted about Charles lol. Again, I must repeat that I hate neither Erik or Charles. I love them both and they're fucking idiots in love.

NOW I have another theory, based on what you said.

What if when Erik called out to Charles, Charles hadn't taken the serum? Not yet, at least.

But let's assume Charles is in a really low place. He lost his students, he can't walk, his powers are going haywire with soo many voices...

And then Charles hears Erik's voice in his head.

And Charles freaks out, he doesn't believe that is really Erik. He thinks it's just his imagination.

And Charles wants to laugh and cry bitterly because Erik has hurt him so, so much, and yet now he's imagining Erik's voice in his head? He really is delusional. Erik doesn't want him. Erik put on that damned helmet. There's no way the voice in his head is Erik's.

So when Hank offers him the serum, Charles takes it. He doesn't want to hear Erik's voice in his head because it hurts too much. (He doesn't know that it's really Erik who's calling him).

Well, that's my other theory. I dunno which one is more devastating.

Thank you for the lovely ask and I'm so sorry this is soo long 😭

[notmorbid]

playground.

dialogue prompts from playground: a novel by richard powers.

how can people live in this?

i'm trying to remember why i'm alive.

i am alive for the sole purpose of enjoying you.

you are a sordid piece of shit.

i love you. you'll believe anything.

i cannot wait to be free of you.

i've never told anyone but you.

it's okay. you're awake.

the gods are bothering me, for some reason.

i could learn something from you.

whose kid are you?

everyone needs to eat, but few people are aware of who sets the table.

you can't forget what you never knew.

people and their emotions puzzle me.

ready or not, here comes everything.

it's a fine morning, all things considered.

you're going to save us.

was there something you wanted to talk about?

they make electric cars now, you know.

i failed you.

i made a promise that i can't keep.

your perfection embarrasses me.

it's only emergency adultery.

what i really want is to talk.

power is an isolating thing.

power is a thing more given than taken.

i'm done with denial. i'm working my way through resentment.

i've rolled enough dice in my life to know how chance works.

i've always been a coward about the unknown.

all you need to do is breathe.

the water belongs to nobody. it's no man's land.

you're the only one of us who has a chance of making it in this world.

the smart ones want to be anywhere but here.

everyone talks a lot of trash about you, you know.

nobody really knows you. only i know the real you.

what is the most important quality a person can possess?

don't worry. i love you no matter what.

a person who never felt sad would be a monster.

i've had enough paternal stupidity for one lifetime.

i knew of you before i knew your name.

you deserve the best that ______ has to offer.

any excuse to go home as late as possible.

this is america. it's hardly a fair fight.

see you next week, asshole.

_____ is the closest thing to my religion.

you can ask. doesn't mean i have to answer.

who taught you to be so sneaky?

i can't even bluff at cards.

disguise yourself and do what you need to.

do you have a life philosophy? words you live by?

you couldn't have called ahead?

you seem like you can handle other people's opinions.

i won't be gone for long.

this isn't going to work, is it?

i'm not going to be able to leave you, am i?

life is never good at obeying human logic.

i wouldn't mind laying down a while. maybe just a month or two.

we make things that we hope will be bigger than us, then we're desolate when that's what they become.

you're truly crazy, but crazy memorable.

i could complain, but i won't.

i tend to think that the world is my fault. maybe that's ego or something.

you don't even know how free you are. it's just like breathing to you.

hold on. small steps.

i always thought a person had to choose between safety and freedom.

you could teach me a thing or two.

new game. i'm making the rules.

every human heart imagines god a different way.

stop being such a self-protecting little coward.

if it makes you feel good to think so, then think so.

i'm so simple. you only need to know a few things about me.

i don't believe in your world, and you'll never understand mine.

being safety will always get you killed.

they got what they wanted, but now they want the old me back.

this place isn't fit for human habitation.

find the moves the rules forgot to outlaw.

you know what the flight attendants say: put your own mask on before assisting others.

i was there. i know that song.

no vote is a vote, too.

what we two had was very beautiful for a while.

do not blame your fear of life on me.

i'll be fine. back in ten minutes.

don't let them make you as crazy as they are.

there has to be a way to spin this mountain of shit into gold.

i never did like poker. too much psychology.

when have i ever not helped you?

hope and truth cannot be reconciled.

don't i get a hug before the interrogation? a 'nice to see you'?

have you been sleeping alright? your eyes look baggy.

i've gotten what i needed from this life.

why are you still so tall?

you only ever loved me for my car.

call me. same old number.

what are you? who are you? why are you here?

what did you do to ____?

careful. remember your training.

consciousness is not all it's cracked up to be.

[gynandromorph]

Hey! Question about Idletry. Even with the most bare bones critical analysis of fiction, as a socially isolated, lonely, heavily theripized lesbian, its hard not to idolize Jessies, even more vile actions. Or even see a bit, if not a lot of myself in her actions. Do you get this often? I know with the political climate, isolation is gonna get even worse for folks.

do i get this often as in do i get people who relate to her and idolize her? not frequently, but not unheard of. most people do not find jessie relatable and if they did i don't think she would be an accurately written outcast.

do i see myself in her often? she has a lot of feelings i used to have. i think i'm just tired now. people are pathetic, selfish animals, and i cannot blame them for my social suffering in the same way i can't blame my dog for eating something off of the counter when i left her alone with it. sometimes a particularly unsavory, visceral hatred will boil up in me towards, ironically, other lesbians, for having what i've been deprived of by nothing more than luck. i didn't stay in one home for my entire life, so i never really formed strong attachments to friends like jessie did. it is really the people you expect to care about you that don't, though -- in her case, friends she had, in my case, community i am inherently a part of. you can see the threads cross briefly to reach a similar endpoint here

i can't feel that hatred without knowing that there are people out there with an equally justified hatred for me as well, because i have at least gotten to be in a relationship before. at least i haven't ALWAYS been alone. that cognitive dissonance interests me, but also neatly puts a bow on the irrationality of the thought. for jessie, even after she does have a romantic partner, i think she'd take offense to the notion, because it isn't really about the unfairness as much as punishment for causing her perceived pain. and i think that's where we differ so drastically that i don't often relate to what she's saying even though i objectively know what the feelings she's having are like. i don't really care to punish people for hurting me because it won't undo the pain. we can see throughout the story that jessie remains unhappy no matter what she does and who she punishes because it doesn't *undo* the pain and isolation. it still hurts that it happened and it doesn't bring her closer to anyone else (or them closer to her). i also just have a much stronger empathy and people pleasing response. that anger just becomes nothing to me once i have to actually interact with someone and i generally have to look away from even fictional pain because it is so distressing to me. i would hate to imply that jessie is like simply due to an empathy or lack thereof; we see that she has much more empathy as a child and does care about fairness and hurting other people's feelings. she has practiced non-empathy mentally for an extended length of time with very little actual interaction to erode that. the actual biggest difference between her and myself is probably merely her lack of a fractured personality that can rebel against her if she steps too far out of line. and a massive skill issue.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 18)

N was peacefully in sleep mode, wrapped around something he inherently wanted to protect, whatever it was, it was pleasantly cooler than the rest of his body, and he found himself bringing it closer to him.

“En! En! En!” A small little voice chirped into his audio receptors, but even still he remained in sleep mode, where all that was active was his most base code.

That voice was no threat, it was the opposite, it meant love and protection, it was someone who belonged with him, no need to panic, no need to disrupt recharge.

His programming pulled the source closer.

Love. Protect. Mine. Those keyphrases ran on repeat within the part of his system that was always active, always ready to immediately jump into action even when he was asleep.

“Shhh… Tera let your dad sleep…” A second, very sleepy voice met his audio receptors, sending more code running through that system.

Freind. Partner. Love. Protect. Safe.

Still no reason to disrupt charge. Partner not in distress. Offspring not in distress.

“Zi!” He felt something shuffle against him, and the sudden removal of the weight in his arms, finally he snapped out of sleep mode, visor and eyelights popping on all at once in a sudden outburst of conscious thought.

Tera-

“Huh…?” He asked noone, blinking around dumbly, his eyes landed on Uzi, who was currently filling yet another bottle with oil. Tera was unplugged, rolling excitedly in her arms as she impatiently waited for her feed.

“Sorry, I tried to let you sleep.” She said sheepishly, before finishing what she was doing and rolling back down her hoodie, she rubbed her side, apparently all the attention was beginning to make it sore.

“S’okies…” He slurred, still groggy. Dang, what background process was running that had him this out of it?

“Can't believe you have a full size bed and we both used the couch.” She grumbled as she slowly squeezed the oil into Tera’s port, he blushed, oh yeah, they'd cuddled all night…

“Hey the past week's been crazy, you can't blame me for falling asleep.” He defended, not giving into the fact he'd been having a little trouble sleeping without her there.

“Fair.”

Uzi looked disheveled, like she'd just lost a fight or crash landed, her beanie was crooked and her hoodie was lopsided, there were lines under her eyelights that indicated poor sleep.

“How did you sleep?” He asked on instinct, stretching as he splayed out on the couch, he wouldn't lie, it was incredibly comfortable.

“Meh… weird dream.” That was typical for Uzi at this point, “weird” probably didn't describe them very well “terrifying” and “prophetic” was probably a better description.

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked, only for her to yawn and shake her head, she would put it up on her conspiracy board when she was next home, it was way easier to sort out that way.

“I'm good.”

N looked slightly concerned, he hoped she wasn't bottling in any emotions, she tended to be good at that.

“I got a message from Thad?” She suddenly said, although it was clear she was talking more to herself, N felt his core flip at the mention of the drones name.

Usi had just checked her system messages (and they were nearly always empty) and found several green colored messages awaiting in her inbox.

WID-Thad: Hey Zi, throwing party this wknd, ur still coming right?

WID-Thad: It's gonna b outside. Don't worry, @ nite

WID-Thad: Or r u gonna need a babysitter fr the kid?

The kid? Oh… oh no.

“Thad knows about Tera…” Uzi whispered, living one of her greatest nightmares, how- how did he find out?

“How'd he find out?” N asked as if he read her mind. She wasn't in the headspace to think about that, not when Thad, the least gossipy person she knew, knew about Tera.

“I don't know! I thought I was doing well in hiding it!” She pulled at her hair, eyelights hollow and the feeling of extreme anxiety crawling up her mechanical spine.

Ohnonononononono….

“I mean it's not all bad? What did he say exactly?” N could immediately tell she had started to freak out, and took Tera in his arms, standing up just to put a hand on Uzi's shoulder.

“Uh… if I needed a-uh babysitter to come to his party?” She tried to breathe, maybe it was some sort of weird, oddly coincidental misunderstanding?

“I mean… I would…” He admitted, but that made sense, he was the one who adopted her, that was the main name on those papers, not her.

“Yeah but he asked me that. I'm not- at least not officially!” She stammered, trying to both claim ownership and avoid it at the same time, two juxtaposing desires, to be seen as edgy and mean so that she could protect herself, and all soft and gushy and parental, bragging about her kid.

It was all very confusing.

“It's okay! Maybe it's just Thad?” N offered, smiling like he really, truly meant it.

It was not just Thad.

When Uzi left N's apartment later that day to track down Thad and figure out exactly where he'd found out from. She'd been approached by drones she didn't even know, asking her how the baby was and how N was doing. Like they totally didn't ignore her existence for her entire life.

The entire colony seemed to know. N had just brought Tera home, how has it spread this quickly! And the assumptions! Several drones had asked how long her and N had been together, one had even asked how well her and N's code fit together.

How was she supposed to answer!? Other than how she did, which was a gruff “Bite me, none of your business.” Before she continued her warpath to Thad’s room, a blush slowly but surely growing everytime she was stopped, congratulated, or questioned.

When she did eventually get to the door, she pounded on it with a fury. How the hell did everyone know so soon?!

“Zi? Woah… you look pissed…” Thad opened the door first with a confused smile, then extreme nervousness, glancing from side to side and backing up slowly.

She shoved him wordlessly into his apartment (which was littered with sports memorabilia) and followed him inside, unleashing her tail to close the door behind her with a aggressive smack.

“How the fuck did you find out about Tera?” She asked, so serious that Thad's eyelights gained a few extra lines underneath them.

“Tera? Is that the kids name? It's cute!” He replied, clearly trying to appease her.

Her tail came up to point at him, saliva dripping from it's needle-like teeth, each drip causing his carpet to singe slightly. It's hot organic breath blowing over his visor.

“Wasn't what I asked Thad.” She put a hand on her hip. She wasn't really controlling her tail right now, but she did agree with it's sentiment, less small talk- let's get to the point.

“Right! Right! No need to get the tail involved!” He gulped, backing away from her tail slowly, putting both his hands up in surrender.

“I overheard your Dad talking to some of the WDF! That and Lizzy said she saw you and N walking into his new apartment with a baby! I drew conclusions?!” He stammered out rather loudly. Sweat appearing and falling rapidly down his visor.

“Okay sure, but why does everyone know!” She exclaimed, raising both her hands in irritation and stomping angerly. If it was just Thad she may not have even minded, but it wasn't was it, it was freaking everyone!

“Lizzy is a blabbermouth and your Dad isn't much better…?” He suggested, still attempting to get away from her irate tail, which had begun chasing him as much as it could while still attached to her.

“I didn't say shit Zi! I knew better!” He exclaimed, looking more and more freaked out of the fleshy appendage as it had somewhat backed him up against the wall.

She sighed, groaning as she put her tail away. Of course it was freaking Lizzy!, she didn't even blame her dad for this one, dispite his everything, he kept family matters pretty tight lipped- he probably hadn't said much.

“Dammit… Sorry Thad, I just… didn't want anyone else to find out about uh… her.” Her voice became… not soft but no longer as aggro.

“Hey it's cool. Didn't think you'd ever want kids though, did N wear you down or something?” He chuckled, scratching the back of his head awkwardly, looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

“Uh! No! She's- She's not mine. Er, not mine mine. She's adopted, and N adopted her, not me.” She explained, violet breaching her defenses as she stammered over her words. Dammit not now! Not in front of Thad!

“Oooooh, yeah that… that makes way more sense. He always seemed more the type then you.”

“Y-yeah…” She couldn't help it when her voice lost it's edge. Even when she tried to hide it.

“Lizzy took a picture though, she kinda does look like… yours.” He sent her a photo over short-range, and she immediately brought it up to her view.

And yeah, he was absolutely right.

It wasn't just the fact that Tera had purple eyelights as well (it's not like that was uncommon.) But her and N were looking absolutely enamored with her, she was even gripping onto his arm as they were walking to get a better look.

She uh… did not remember doing that.

She looked back up at Thad, who was smiling warily, trying to look supportive but also looking incredibly nervous.

“Uuuuuuuuugh” A blush had taken over her face again, this time impossible to hide.

So that's how everyone knew… there was a picture floating around. Photo evidence of her being soft and squishy with a baby.

“Uh Zi…?” Thad looked at her with an amused smile, quickly recovering from her threats once noticing her bravado had deflated.

“My life is over…” She replied, looking like she was suffering deeply, her arms drooped to the floor.

“Thats… probably overdramatic.” He chuckled, stepping closer into her personal space, he hadn't been scared of Uzi, not really. He wasn't sure why, but he'd never got the impression she ever wanted to actually hurt anyone as much as just scare them. He knew she could, and the tail was intimidating, but want to? Nah.

“Theres photo evidence of me being-ah!” She yelped, she was also always… dramatic, seemingly overanimated at times, some people found it off-putting, he found it endearing. A nice juxtaposition to his eternal mellow.

“Of you… being, motherly?” He asked with a smirk as she seemed to melt with embarrassment.

“Yes!”

“I don't think that's a bad thing. I mean, has it been bad for you so far?” He asked, cocking his head. Surely it hadn't, she looked happy in that picture, happier then he'd ever seen her before.

“Well uh, no…” She admitted, the people who had stopped her had all been relatively nice… not as mocking as she'd expected.

“I think it looks good on you! You can't be edgy all the time.” He replied, this time a wide smile on his face, honestly, Thad had known about Uzi's soft center for a long while. He had known her right before Nori died, she'd been… much sweeter then. Soft spoken but not shy.

“Yes I can! Bite me!” And there was the shield… oh well.

“Sorry. You're trying to help.” Oh. Now that was new, the Uzi he knew would never apologize for anything, much less for saying “Bite me.”

“No issue. So are you and N…?

“Uh… no, we're not… I'm just helping him take care of Tera, and uh… speaking of.” The way she stammered and sputtered told him a lot. Mostly that she was still hiding something that's for damn sure, but he didn't want to pry.

“Riiiiight…” He said as if he didn't quite believe her, and he didn't. There was no hiding it in that picture. Hell, they looked like they were married, not even just dating, with the soft looks they both had.

“Okay now actually Bite Me!” She shouted as she stomped off, but Thad stuck his head out of his doorway to shout back.

“You better be still coming!”

She grumbled all the way back to N's apartment, still being stopped every once in awhile to be asked questions, either about Tera, or about her relationship with N.

While her first instinct was to still snap at them, she found herself actively beginning to surpress it. None of these people were asking out of any sort of malice or trying to be mean. Some of them even looked genuinely happy for her.

So she answered them, possibly not in the best or friendliest way (her voice was still rough and a little rude.) But she did clear up a few things here or there.

“No N and I didn't have a baby. She's adopted.”

“No, N's on the paperwork, I'm just listed as a caretaker.”

And when she did reach N's apartment and opened the door. She found N on the floor, helping Tera roll around to chase her toy, a wide grin on his face as a peel of laugher escaped his adoptive daughter each time she was boosted forward gently by his hand.

His eyes snapped up to meet her and they immediately softened, and Uzi had to supress another blush.

Now that she knew he liked her, the signs were rather obvious.

“What did you find out?” He asked, cute little head cock and all, she sighed, sending him the picture.

He blinked, before his face seemed to explode with color, taking a gander over the picture he couldn't help but think how much they both looked like parents.

“O-oh.” Was the only thing that came from his mouth, he look another look at Uzi, who was obviously far tenser than usual, she looked at him, and with only a beat of hesitation, threw herself onto his lap, wrapping her arms around him.

“Uh! Uzi-wha-” He stammered, was something wrong? She didn't typically initiate hugs like this unless she was extremely upset.

“Shut up and hold me goober.” Was all she said, holding him gently. He couldn't see the blush or the smile on her face that had appeared after she'd heard his core skip over a cycle when she'd made contact.

“Y-yeah okay…”

Next ->

[rius-cave]

It’s a bit strange that you only added “pro shipper” to your bio after someone felt uncomfortable that they spent money on your rape fetish comic without realizing that’s what it was (after which you literally blamed them for not assuming it was, despite no content warnings being anywhere, which was the only thing they wanted when they messaged you anyway)

You also only added it on Twitter, not here… I assume because you know Tumblr doesn’t like that. If you’re going to be in a community known for enabling abuse and pedophilia by allowing real abusers to go undetected in your circles because you all think fantasizing about abuse is normal, at least make it public everywhere. People deserve to know who they are talking to, especially since these are such touchy subjects.

Literally anyone you know who are into these things could be for real about it and you would never know unless you were too. There is no excuse for wanting to be part of any community that allows that to happen, and I don’t find it fair that people are being mocked with “respect your own DNI” as if that was the problem. They would have followed their DNI if they had known it applied to you… what they asked you for was putting a rape warning on StOP. Which you still didn’t do

I know a lot of proshippers are victims. But a lot of others are too, and we don’t appreciate being thrown under the bus in the name of “fighting purity culture” as if it’s the same as being anti-kink.

Anon I don't know if you're my ex-patreon supporter or if you're a friend of theirs or what, but it's funny to me that they kept saying they didn't want to start any trouble with me and then this happens lol ok I guess.

You also failed to mention I refunded all the money they gave to my Patreon and apologized for the confusion, I don't know how else I should apologize to them, if you or they want me to stop drawing StOP, that's not gonna happen 🤷 I've said everywhere, multiple times, that StOP is a fuck or die comic, whether you want to take that as dubcon or noncon or not is up to you. The way I write is not really that way because all parties are VERY MUCH into it by the time they start doing anything, but I am AWARE that I can't call it completely consensual just by the nature of the fuck or die scenario. Maybe this person just wasn't aware that fuck or die = noncon, that is.... Not really my fault, it literally comes with that label, I'm sorry :/

Also, my bio has ALWAYS said I'm proship lol I don't know what you're going on about.

It's not a thing I have on my Tumblr bio because before Hazbin, I didn't post any of that stuff to *this* Tumblr, now I've stopped giving a shit but just didn't think to add it to my bio because idk *shrugs* I didn't care that much. You want me to add the proship label here too? I will, I have no issue with it, I am not trying to hide and it's not because "Tumblr doesn't like that" I couldn't care less lolol.

And my friend, sighs, anti circles are known for having more real predators than proship circles. I can't even begin to tell you how many teenagers were groomed in anti circles because they thought it was a """safe space""" while adults in proship spaces literally want nothing to do with minors. I am open about who I am and what I like, I am not afraid to say it because I am not ashamed even if I get people like you in my inbox lmao

My tag of "respect your own DNI" is because people will think proshippers are gross and want nothing to do with them but they'll... Still be the first people to talk to you once they find out.... You're proving my point right now lmao