#and ppl dont see or acknowledge that they just beat u down for not being 'strong'

[g0thsoojin]

.

[hampterguts]

tailgate's story throughout mtmte/ll is literally a tragedy in the sense of like... the corruption of sympathy that repeated and constant exposure to environments that require lethal violence to survive can do to a person. to me.

is it portrayed as such? kinda? does it lead to any kind of real conversation on the topic? no 🤗

spoilers ? i guess vv

[in reaction to multiple people dying in a fight against one person] "Im Upset, doesnt anyone DO upset anymore? what is WRONG with you people? Is this a war thing?" -> many issues later -> not even feeling concern for a woman he mightve just killed, who had tried intervening to stop him from killing someone

edit: like do u know how much it bothers me that when cyclonus tries to bring light to the horror that tailgate brings he just goes "FINE, LESSON LEARNED, WHATEVER. i was TOTALLY in control and calmed MYSELF down BTW" was not calm did not calm down until after the decepticon crowd dispersed. until after sending anode flying, who he has no idea ended up skewered mid-air and bleeding out, but "whatever dw dw im so strong and cool and protective and i kill Bad People™️"

and............... im just supposed to believe ..... that its fine and thats NOT an alarming end to that note......???

like "oh hey remember sweet innocent tailgate, terrified and learning abt the horrors of his own civil war, trying to achieve greatness and community while his roommate tries to emphasize the nuance to all perspectives of humanity? yeaahhhh uhhhh he's going down the bad path of focusing on good vs evil when the war is literally over and hes trying to kill ppl he doesnt even know over small scrapes but dont worry, he's cool and its fine its whatever. dont worry abt it. he's not remorseful but like whatever man he wont do it again i prommy. like he SAID he had it handled dont you trust him??? the guy who beat someone unconscious and was STILL going after them violently??? hes. FINE. (and then tailgate doesnt end up in another situation to prove he's changed at all)

also PLEASE i wish i couldve gotten ONE scene of anode seeing tailgate again and just. acknowledging it. hanging out with swerve and being like aw hell its that dude who sent me flying like a frisbee, swerve why do you hang out with him.

edit edit: w. wait. was the. was the whole "pls get rid of my favorite cool powers bc they give me self destructive nightmares that almost killed my partner" .... ALSO supposed to..... no literally did he not give a shit abt the violence to strangers he only cared abt cyclonus???? bro........................................ little guy is so fucked up and not in a good fun way

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

notes from therapy todai 

-loving intensely as a product of mirroring my moms personality disorder ? n luving w no boundaries bc i think love at its core is selflessness n acknowledging tht bpd love comes from a real place ? 

-accepting that my mother has singlehandedly proven to me that one person can truly do anything and the endurance of love and the plight seems less n less strenuous and more endearing to model for others as an ultimate philosophy.

----

i love hard

i love intensely

i love passionately

romantically

n eternally.

my therapist said that the love that i give almost comes out in a form of power. and i have to sit with that and wonder what he really means by that. but i just know that....

if i give u my love, u will not forget it. or come out of it unscathed. some are excited to perceive it as dangerous but my love is not abusive or threatening. it burns slow but it burns bright. and i’m not saying ppl i love won’t be loved by others in a different n beautiful way but guess thts tru for everyone objectively obviously but. i struggled to find words to describe how i felt in this moment when i was verbalizing this to my therapist and all i could say was that i felt like an ocean.

cuz i can feel the rain before it starts to pour. and when words roll off tongues i travel into the alphabet itself...and when people tell me about their pain i feel it as my own, see the world that was torn down in their minds eye of a 'home.' i think in colors and i taste music when i hear it n i can see the way that heart beats in frequencies without plugging anyone to a ekg machine.....

n i am told i am the only person some of my friends need when they have options in a world of 7 billion options. and its flattering and unyoked n unburdened bc i don’t just give my love to just anyone...bc if i give it up it is with complete trust that the other will receive n acknowledge the responsibility that it takes to experience it…..

my love burns slow but it burns right. but it burns as an all consuming fire. it will completely tamper and fester inside u and there will be no need to pray for faith or belief or space for doubt if its real or imaginative or a movie scene bc luv was never a concept to begin with. n ive known from an early age i could never love anything without my entire existence and without my whole heart. my ex's have told me my love has felt profound .... to ways that it has also uprooted them... and forced them to look at themselves .... afterall, arent soulmates purposes' meant to shake u up from the inside.... n push u to blossom......

the love i have will desire to completely fill u… all the gaps you’ve ever felt…. all the holes….all the missing screws. i am the glue, i am the drill. i would like to be someones everything. all the answers, the mother, the father, the daughter, the sibling, the lover, the friend. n i dont know if thats logical. but thats what i desire.

------my body feels young but my mind feels old and i really want to explore the concept of empathy being a holy feeling n stop feeling guilty or narcissistic for knowing that the way that i love is special

[crazygaysex]

incomprehensible conjecture and rambling about sunny/rcg under the cut! idk man I got 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 or wataver and my brain is an abandoned swamp Good Nigte

i certainly am not arguing that mac Absolutely Isnt a stereotype of a predatory gay man/self-hating homophobe or whatevr. i wont argue the homophobe one at all really,not great even if they rectified it and further tried to make up for it or whatever w mac finds his pride (which i love, regardless). but honestly i dont think the predatory complaint really makes a whole lot of legitimate sense considering every charatcer on the show is Extremely predatory in their own right. if he wasnt i’d be irritated to be honest. i do agree w wat mcelhenney said something like that its cool that they decided to acknowledge he was gay without changing him fundamentally as a person; he still needs to fit into the show or watever. like idk he’s not Ideal Gay Rep ofc but he’s awesome still. To Me. I like when character’s sexuality can be an improtant acknowledged facet of them but doesnt overtake the rest of te narrative! It never occurred to me that his behavior toward dennis would be seen as predatory ina stereotypical way seeing as how their relationship dynamic is so fckign bizarre. charlie has the same level of dogged cluelessness about the obj of his affection’s true feelings, so it didnt occur to me to see mac touching dennis’ knee or stuff of that variety as being any different ig or as making fun of queers or watevr. if i am wrong/misunderstanding i apologize. i have never considered mac from that perspective before.

honestly i kinda get the complaints. i’ve never rly thought rcg all have 10000% pure intentions with the insensitive kind of humor they are into, no matter their loophole justifications for shit. sometimes i almost believe their reasoning and do basically understand but it still seems flimsy when you considers stuff like the blackface stuff which is indeed kind of funny at times mainly bc the joke is the absurdity of it all, like mac in the shower with the brown dripping off him like he’s melting; it’s not funny at the expense of black ppl but more so at the expense of how goddam stupid and unaware mac is. i havent seen the blackface/brownface ones in years sos i dont have a whole lot to say excepe they seemed to be clearly against using blackface as the moral while still using it to get laughs. so. really honestly i don’t know that it’s Liderally Ever edgy white people’s call to use something like blackface regardless of context, regardless of their obvious intent? i dunno i have tried to find Black ppls opinions online a couple times but struggled to find any tangible results. the only other thing i have to say with ym white person words is that i think it’s stupid that the streamig companies take down all insensitive episodes like theyre trying to brush them under the rug and pretend it never happened in wake of a changing political climate. i get it, but kinda just seems like corporate scrambling ie disney getting ridof all of song of the south but still profiting from splash mountain eprhaps. something seems dodgy to me about pretending it doesnt exist anymore just to cover their asses. i understand the sentiment i guess but i dont think that’s really the main goal of the BLM movement, to purge streaming services of any questionable/racially insensitive/Fully Racist material; there’s surely more important things at the top of the lists besids Good Branding . im not sure if that makes sense

also a lot of episodes the joke is the blatant but somehow woefully oblivious homoerotic overtones present between the guys, like a Lot of the time. it is very funny though is the thing and a lot of thm are my favorites. i dunno. i also thought hte pooping transgender bit was pretty funny mainly cause it was absurd. i think maybe because i have my own what i think are reaosnable and empathetic views about certain stuff like queer shit it doesnt necessarily occur to me that they are trying to make fun of queer people.. like people make fun of conservative fans for having completely missed the point of it all being satire, and wat if i am being tricked to into assuming rcg has kind intentions and isnt trying to make fun of queer people just cause the thought didnt occur to me? instead of taking all the gay subtext serious- WHICh i Do, i should probably be more aware that to rcg it is just a bit and not really that deep. but mac and dennis were totally fucjing in s5 canonically. anwyays like aside from the carmen shit which is handled So Fuckign Bad and it makes me so upset cause i actually love carmen they were just very clearly not bothered with actually representing trans people accurately. so in the bathroom one if even fuckin dee reynolds is like, saying a trans woman in a woman’s bathroom is obviously normal.. it seems like they’d rectified some of their previous Very flawed rhetoric surrounding trans women (ie the whole “u slept with me when i was still a man” line. makes me cringe a bit ebery time)u get wat i mean?? not that it atones for it obviously. i love carmen she desreved better

butreallt i dont have any like. Pure Faith in rcg to be super accountable or honest about their intentions or to have the most accurate or agreeable beliefs or whataver. theyre just fucking about really because they can without any lashback. and people i think like being able to laugh at offensive shit thru scenarios which supposedly distance you from bigots/evil people and make u feel better about yourself watching these dumbass evil people talk slime. when like. glenn yelling supposedly arabic-sounding gibberish for example: it is funny in this context not just cause it’s wildly inappropriate and absurd but also because there’s prob significant amt of people who actually dont have an issue with it who could watch it and not have that takeaway whatsoever. i dont kno wt im talking about anymore btu honestly if youre trying to watch a show that isnt rife throughout with controversial/offensive/insensitive language and story beats, i dont know why you would try to stomach it with sunny. like for gods sake they used blackface more than once! i dunno man

[seoafin]

jjk & tower of god chapter on the same day,,, i spent all of my brainjuice talking abt tog w some friends + working on my wip so this one might be incoherent LMAO but nsjdhfjd this my 2 cents for the chp (1) - 🐱

first of all, the zenins shld just eat shit 🥰 the bar is just nonexistant now 😭😭😭

also maki’s mother said sth that hits way too close to home for me too🥴

the maki & mai, megumi & tsumiki "make a place where they are happy” parallels...mai,, maki wanted a place where u'd be happy!!! 😭😭😭 good points abt any interesting nuances the original jpn might have had though

ALSO MUSCLE MAKI IS HERE

and lmao megumi's "ew no" face ,,, i didn't think he could make a face like that JDJJDJD ,, once again i think his outsider-insider status is interesting but the amount of ppl counting on him/leaning on him bc of strategic position is a lot. ig this is what kamo meant by supporting the 3 families,,,, gojou indeed is playing the long game. megumi in the meantime, very persistent in not getting more involved in clan politics, not using power that is offered to him, or leveraging it - in a way it is good, and it also makes sense with "stress is other ppl" but is interesting from a structural pov. megumi may not rly give a shit abt the rest of the jujutsu world. if the ppl close to him are affected, then he cares. otherwise, forget it.

also im interested in power implications here bcs it sound a little like there’s a slight split b/w leadership and everyday zenins and im curious what it's like if u have no connection to the top of the clan,, and again higher ups being unaffiliated with the 3 clans so they have to appeal to them. curious what other talents the gojou clan have and what they're known for bc clearly it's not just gojou, they still have power without him and still have a stake in the shifting power structure. kamo must be busy too...

MAKIIIIII ,,, honestly my heart hurts a little seeing her getting beat up in recent chapters. but i’m rly happy,, shes FINALLY getting the focus she deserves and i’m confident she will make a recovery and she IS in fact the one leading efforts on the zenin side. im rly hopeful she can take over the clan one day and no longer say she's not good enough

that stomach wound is bad news though so im wondering how she will come back from that,, that she didn't know her own father's abilities says a lot, too. i wonder if she could see the extension of his blade, or if she hasn't been able to see/understand many ppl abilities

im hopeful for next chp now. u can do it maki!!!!

flashing back on these bits, it makes more sense now why megumi wasn't melting down post-shibuya,, seems most information came to him in a sort of timely and calm way? also i rly have to wonder if gojou did not spend a decade plotting in front him bcs he's done it before,,,, like the whole clan head scene in megumi's middle school years....in a way i imagine he wouldve seen that gojou come out of the high school and watch him get more serious as he acquired even more skin in the game

all the time though i wonder abt megumi's tendency toward inertia and nonaction to things that would seemingly give him power and trying to understand it and that IS him being selfish and that IS,, imo the biggest indication of what he actually does or doesn't want. he wants it, he will act and work on it immediately himself. he doesn't like it? act like it doesn't exist. it make me want to shake him around like NO!! megumi pay attention!!! But his reaction to this clan stuff is a contrast to his behavior in recent chapters imo

and more mahjong references,,, between this and yuuji’s pachinko,, i wonder abt the undercurrent of gambling haha. a gamble for the shaman world and who will come out on top? a contrast to the flowy ocean imagery that connects shaman stuff out to the rest of the world

also this ,,,, there's that one jp tweet (i cant find it again😞) that talks about how toji, as the point of distortion, created megumi, who is currently playing a potential convergence/healing/uniting role (if he actually takes it on as a responsibility lol) and connects this back to the medicine buddha,,, whose mudra (hand sign) is used for chimera shadow garden. with the commentary abt ppl with heavenly restriction needing to know what to throw away in order to become strong or tap into their full strength and toji’s commentary at the end of fight with gojou,,  i actually always felt that toji died not having been entirely resolved with himself bc he talks abt going against the self that decided to forget abt self-respect, to live without thinking abt himself or others,,, in a way, living selfishly, for himself, by ignoring anything immediate and i think he succeeded for a while bc he didnt even remember megumi's name. he remembers it when he talks to getou abt him being thankful for toji not killing him bc of potential drawbacks

and at the very end he thinks of megumi again and that last act does think of someone else, like a "life before your eyes" moment where toji thinks about how the zenin's treatment of him led him there or how his return to shibuya ends with him remembering how he gave megumi back to the zenin,,, i think atm of his death he was starting to think he did want to care, in a different way, or that he needed a different paradigm. or,, maybe he was just starting to realize how far the zenin thinking had set into him

so we dont rly talk abt that being an enlightenment moment for toji but i kind of think it was. that megumi has the potential to become a pivotal piece as a legacy of distortion is interesting. i dont actually think toji set up everything intentionally bc he didnt know megumi's ability, and i dont think he wouldve thought that far. i think a lot of the heir and inheritance stuff is sth naobito set in after seeing megumi's development under gojou. it's clear now everyone has been keeping eyes on everyone else

at some point there's some interesting discussion to be had abt megumi and privilege - i'm surprised the canon characters dont hate him more for having stuff just fall into his lap, and so i liked that maki pointed this out that he could use this and he shld bc theres a frustration there - and yet at the same time megumi himself seemingly feels very little attachment to the zenin and the shaman world still. he just cares abt his little circle of people, and it's a very intentional choice, based on his good/bad ppl thing

u cant really affect the entire world, but u can assert urself on the environment around u and decide what u do and dont act on. this part of megumi is more teenage boy and kind of toji-like, i think,,, hence the emphasis on action

u express ur effect and existence through action, who u kill or who u save. toji having very little, while so much falls into megumi's lap while he doesn't want it, doesn't want to acknowledge it, likely doesn't want to take part in a system he doesn't like or, having been raised under gojou's wing, resents or finds corrupt or useless, or doesn't even think on bc he thinks its above his pay grade and gojou's there - this is also megumi's moment to solidify his own direction and commit to working in the system or out of it

the "not caring" is a defensive measure in a way too, i think. i dont think megumi is Big Good and wants to save everyone and everything and the world to be good and pure, i tend to think of him as a resigned chaotic neutral, who wishes he could be good orz

ANYWAY i think there's some interesting juxtapositions with the whole toji > megumi thing, that someone who is born without, restricted, births and creates someone full of blessings. its very shaman-like, action then reaction

AND i wish u luck on ur final paper (bless ur eyes to see incels bc i’ll just log off for the day when i saw one (1) of them on the net) AND DONT FORGET TO TAKE A REST,, the self care is much needed me thinks <333 (2) - 🐱

i love u 🥺🥺😭😭😭 you take care of yourself too!!!

also ur right...all this political intrigue im so curious i need to know how the jujutsu world is structured in terms of the higher ups and the clans. like i assumed that the three clan elders WERE to some extent also part of the higher ups???? but now it seems that the higher ups are a separate entity altogether, so like checks and balances i suppose. except both the higher ups and the clans are corrupt so no balance there 😭

the chapter implied the zenins are losing when it comes to the power struggle between the three clans. im interested. i want to see them all rot!!! like i also said though it’s going to be interesting to see the state of the kamo clan though, considering “noritoshi kamo.” like what do you even say to that???? im going to be surprised if it doesn’t affect their standing in the jujutsu world but then again the kamo clan IS one of the big three.

megumi really is a character that was blessed in all regards but like. doesn’t want anything to do with it LOL he really said ‘this is a pain no thanks.’ like gojo like megumi i suppose. i agree with u the whole toji and megumi set up....genius....i also love their juxtaposition. it’s so interesting and another source of irony.

[mag200]

years after the hobbit movies and i have to agree, i remember some1 did say the ending becomes the shittiest ending ever once u get attached to the characters and i agree, the more i think about it and read about how dreary it is to watch chars suffer and get no good ending in sight, i have to say i really don't like it, especially with the choice to make thorin's gold sickness like a mental illness, tho it was still bad in the books bc the greed trope is antisemitic given the 1/

(continued) jewish influence. in the book ur meant to only care about bilbo and the death of thorin's line is meant to be like some punishment, but in the movies it just feels even more unfair. i see a char who was driven for their home, abandoned by their allies and told by every single char he would turn mad, and he's treated like a bad guy before it happens and it just bugs me?? ik it can't be changed but it would have been so different to see a char struggle with that and have a storyline 2/ where they actually do get to live, we see him overcome it but the movies are just one thing after another and he never gets a break, and has a bond with bilbo that would feel wrong to be forgotten in lotr? idk that's my feelings about making them more fleshed out, and i love movie thorin, as a jewish fan it meant a lot to me to have a serious dwarf char in the movies but it's harder to watch and doesn't feel like a good tragedy, i guess this is why i still live for fixit fics lol.”

(i figured i’d put all ur asks together just for the sake of flow)

ugh YEAH dude its like. on so many levels it does not feel good it is not a satisfying ending. theres a way to do tragedy that is successful if it comes with some catharsis, but the hobbit ending, in both the book and the movies, always felt very empty to me. idk it just feels really fucking shitty that bilbo goes home and is stuck in this like, emotionally stunted place unable to properly grieve (i for one think the ring doesnt just slow his physical aging but his emotional growth as well)... we see him at 111 still basically running from any serious feelings and making jokes and feeling restless and its just. i dont for a second believe he gets to make peace with thorin’s death until the ring is destroyed. and as for thorin himself... oh man. his book characterization kinda sucked it rlly was some troubling jewish stereotypes (which fortunately, tolkien became aware of and tried to rectify with gimli in lotr). the movies allowed thorin to be much more sympathetic and noble and heroic, which i LOVE, but it hurts so much more to watch everything in the world just keep beating him down and he keeps coming back up against it until it kills him. theres no acknowledgement of the depth of his heroism for his ppl, all anyone remembers is his mental illness. and then in lotr theres like no sense that any of it mattered, erebor has no place in lotr its not even mentioned - literally the ONLY influence was frodo being saved by having the mithril from thorin. idk like i get it tolkien wrote the hobbit before he was planning lotr at all, and later he just edited what he had to of the hobbit to make it fit into the events of lotr, but it still like doesnt quite work. lotr successfully establishes a beginning a rising conflict and a resolution but the hobbit’s conflict just kinda peters out and doesnt get its own resolution, it doesnt get resolved until the end of lotr.

so for like a lot of reasons its so unsatisfying and thats probably why the hobbit has more “Everybody Lives / Nobody Dies AU” fics on ao3 than any other fandom lmao

[yeehawfolk]

hi! i dont mean to restart shit but i feel like the reason neurodivergent ppl butt heads over gifted kids so much is that to kids like me who had undiagnosed adhd that had me hide my report cards and tests in elementary school, its kind of a slap in the face to hear so many people who you were compared to and put down against talk about issues that have plagued you since you were super young, but framed in a way that only they could relate to! the education system fucks over both “gifted” AND-

-kids who were barely scrapping by! it just affects us at different stages of our lives, and for different reasons. tying my intelligence to my self worth, an inability to ask for help, always feeling like im underperforming, etc, these are all things that affect me because i dont want to be the ‘dumb kid’ again. i still have to do extra work my high achieving brother doesnt because my mom doesnt trust my intelligence!! + i also think that ppl are bitter yall cld do so well during school-

- in the end, i think our experiences are more like a mirror; “ure dumb and forever will be vs if u get less than the top of the class ure a failure and ur achievements dont matter” (also, personally, even after hearing all the shit the gifted program put yall thru, id love to have been a gifted kid. id rather know i have the capacity to be smart than be the kid who regularly scores in the bottom of the class)

Listen, I am neurodivergent. That's what my entire post is about, how because I was gifted, I was seen as ""too smart to be disabled"" and given no accomodations whatsoever, even though I greatly needed them. I was autistic, but nobody in the education system even THOUGHT to look at why I suddenly started failing classes when I got into 10th grade, nobody even thought to ask me why I was having such a hard time. Because if I was ""smart"" then I should be able to do good in advanced classes. So ergo, my struggling was laziness. Except for one teacher, who when I told her, told me I needed to suck it up and get my homework done or she was going to fail me.

Like, I'm not trying to demean your experiences in the school system or say "I had it worse than you", but the entire reason I made the post in the first place was because I was absolutely fucked by the gifted label in school because I was neurodivergent. The gifted label leaves no wiggle room. You're either smart and pass your classes, or you're lazy and get shit grades, according to teachers.

I had a burn out at 15 years old. Think about that. I was 15, a time where I should be hanging out with friends and doing fun things. But instead I fell to the floor of my bedroom and cried for over an hour because I just couldn't face the fact I didn't do my homework again and my teachers were going to fail me. I was so mentally unstable because of the expectations put on me by the gifted label, I was so scared of seeing that big fat F painted across my report card, that I just broke.

On top of that, I was placed in advanced classes or classes I didn't need because I was ""smart"" and it would look better for getting a ""smart"" job. They kicked me out of the one place I felt safe in the school, Art, and replaced it with electives I didn't need or want simply because it would look good on my college applications. They replaced my Language Arts classes with a ""Gifted Class"" in Middle School and specifically because of that, I have no idea how to structure an essay more than 6 paragraphs long. Every time I asked a teacher for help, they'd tell me to stay after school (which I couldn't at the time, I didn't have a ride) and wouldn't even explain in the simplest terms what they wanted because "You're smart [gifted] you should already know this."

You do NOT want to be a gifted kid. Trust me. Especially if you're neurodivergent, because gifted kids are basically pressured to be mini-adults as kids and when they don't respond as being a perfect pinnacle of maturity or smart-ness, they're said to have problems with laziness. Or ""behavioral issues"". I needed SO much in school, but because I was labelled as gifted, I never got any of it. If we need help with anything we're ""supposed"" to know, you're shit out of luck, because nobody will give it to you. "You're smart, you're supposed to know this!" Is our mantra, and eventually, we stop asking.

The reason I made the original post is because the ""gifted"" label is thrown at anyone who has even a moderate IQ score who ""think differently"" than others. See how that ties heavily into the neurodivergent community? Some people with the gifted label might be neurotypical, but a lot of them end up being neurodivergent later in life for the sole fact "they were too smart to be disabled" and nobody ever said "Hey, you Might be neurodivergent" because they were seen as smart.

Gifted kids don't have it easier. Our praise from adults is always tainted by "You could do better". We don't get accommodations we need. Our education is lax because we're already supposed to know it, despite never being taught whatever it is they expect us to know. Adults want to make all of our academic decisions on how smart they think we are. We're given double the work because "we can handle it". And worst of all, we're constantly beaten down with "You're so smart! Why aren't you understanding this?" As if not understanding something is somehow our fault.

The post wasn't being like "GOD GIFTED KIDS HAVE IT THE HARDEST IN SCHOOL BECAUSE OF X". It was "The neurodivergent community greatly intersects with the gifted community and their struggles in the school system need to be acknowledged and not talked over because of the notion 'gifted kids have it easier because they're smart'."

I'm not going to lie, most of the reason why I dropped out from 10th grade was because I just couldn't handle the expectations from my teachers to be the perfect student and hand in perfect papers. They beat down that 15 year old teenager who liked anime and Sonic and reading to the point where I had a complete mental breakdown and I begged my mom to let me quit. Begged her, on the floor, sobbing. I burnt out so bad I couldn't read a book for over 4 years. I'm just now starting to read again.

School is fucked. But the Gifted label adds another layer of Hell to it that neurodivergent kids just aren't equipped to handle, and I feel very strongly about letting these kids talk about what they went through, bitter people or not.

[moonchildhcs]

parkjin hcs!

high school au! uwu

okay all of yall are different ages with woojin, chan, minho, and changbin in their last year, the 00 line in their middle year, and jeongin in his first year (with u and persi)

yall are taking,,, drum roll please,,,

art 1 !

listen. these mad lads went straight for their music and dance which  is FINE but mandatory one year of art so yall are in a class together! strange,,, but that is the class all eleven of yall share and its,, fairly chaotic

well, mostly because of the crackheads (you, felix, minho, and jisung) who congregated in the back corner and get kicked out three times a week for their antics but like. the rest of yall are chillin and are good diligent students !

well,

for the most part

see the thing is,,

you get your stuff done all the time !! in fact youre probably among the first to turn their stuff in !! like WOWZA ur fast

but, that, is, because, u, want, maximum, time, to, daydream, about,,,,

HYUNJIN

you never really interact with him because hes an uppcerclassman and hes got his friend group and stuff and ur best buds with the Crackheads ! but like. hes so CUTE and SOFT and TALENTED like truly... an ideal boyfie

and your friends make fun of you ALL THE TIME ! like.. you finished your work and youre goofing off with the mad lads in the corner and then jisung will nudge you and go “oOoOoO he glanced in our direction i wonder what that could mean”

and ur like. we are. so loud. the loudest ppl in the class. hes probably a lil annoyed but on the inside ur like “WEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOO” like ur having an internal meltdown bc dance god visual god just looked in your direction

but then the teacher comes by and ur head goes down a wee bit and you add some finishing touches to ur project as the teacher bags on the rest of the Crackhead Squad for goofing off in class and theyre asked to step outside and take a breather and once they think they can behave they can return to class

which MEANS they aint comin back

so you take this opportunity of Tranquility to do your fave activity ...

daydream abt ur crush and stare at the back of his head wistfully ! and its real cute and wholesome and stuff and like

when he turns to ask woojin about something for the project you see the lil mole under his eye and the sunlight catches his soft hair just right and ur just losing it because hes SO SOFT like bitch what the absolute fuck !! why did god pop off so hard making him

and then... It Happens

youre gazing at him, lost in space as you daydream about holding his hand and going on ice cream dates, he turns around to ask woojin something again and as he does so Yall Make Eye Contact and you FREAK

not externally but internally youre literally on fire and you dont know what to do

so out of instinct you do a quick peace sign and he gives you a little smile and then goes to do what he intended to do (ask woojin how the hell ur supposed to paint this)

and youre LOSING IT like not only did he acknowledge you but HE SMILED AT YOU!! HOLY SHIT !! BITCH WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

youre lowkey hyperventilating but its fine because class ends and its your last period so you pack up your bags and head out to walk home with lix, jisung, and minho!! and theyre like wiggling their eyebrows at you and you KNOW theyll tease you but. you need to share this interaction.

and lemme tell you THEY LOSE IT TOO!!! bc hyunjin is a Shy Lad there is no way he caught you looking at him and let it pass !! he had to like you theres no way he didnt NOT like you yknow??? it is Out Of His Character he usually ignores that stuff

and ur like haha no guys its not that deep !! but internally ur freaking out Because Oh MY God What If It Is That Deep so you decide,, to hatch a plan to confess

and the thing is,,, IT IS THAT DEEP

hyunjin is lowkey losing it because. he usually Minds His Own Business and he knows hes popular among people for being cute but ur just. so funny and cute and wholesome and oh wow is his heart beating a lil fast?

YES IT IS !! and hes like u know what?? heck it ILL CONFESS and hope she likes me and this wasnt a coincidence hhhh

so. yall are hatching your plans to confess

hyunjin goes to persi, resident Secret Holder for the laid ease, and reveals that you like nice bright flowers !! like roses, sunflowers, orchids!!! and that you really like pretzels and chocolate almonds uwu

and you go to seungmin and jeongin, who reveal that hyunjin loves forget-me-nots! and he has an affinity for strawb milk and the golden oreos!!!

the thing is,, yall are kinda cliche. like,,, shoujo manga kinda cliche. so if it isnt obvious already yall are hatching THE SAME CONFESSION  PLAN HHHHH YALL ARE SO C U T E

so yall draft letters upon letters, spilling your hearts out in its contents ! 

hyunjins letter is pure white, smelling a bit like his cologne ! it has no marks on it or anything

your letter is light pink and smells like your perfume! its closed with a red heart sticker uwu

yall slip a little note onto each others desk asking to meet each other on the rooftop and ur both like FUCK I HOPE THEY COME EARLY SO I CAN REJECT THEM BEFORE THE PERSON I ACTUALLY LIKE COMES

because,, since yall dont interact much yall dont recognize the others handwriting sgfgfdghf literally dumb bitch hours

anyways yall both SPRINT to that rooftop after school but you were nervous so you got a pep talk from ur friends, the lads, before going up

so once again, yall dont realize. that you have. the same plan.

so hyunjin is waiting there all nervous HOPING youll come first and not whoever else planned on confessing

and youre sprinting up the stairs, hoping whoever planned on confessing wasnt there yet but hyunjin is so that you can confess

and as you burst through the door, pink letter in hand, your eyes zoom to the letter in hyunjins hands and ur like. Oh. Oh Dear.

and hyunjin looks at you, then the letter in ur hands like. Oh. Oh Dear. 

so you two shyly exchange letters, faces burning red as you read through the confession 

and the thing is at one point in your letter you mention how it would be a dream to even hold is hand so he just. this absolute cheeseball. he hold your hand and goes “i guess dreams come true!” and you LOSE IT because oh my god hes such a NERD !!!! but now hes your nerd :^)

so yall go to the park afterwards and split your snacks between the two of you, monching and talking until the stars are twinkling and you guys realize FUCK THERES HOMEWORK

so you go home to do your hw! and yall put the flowers in a cute vase, right next to your beds :^) as a reminder ! (though hyunjin presses some of them with the help of his mom so he can preserve them forever oopsies_

and when yall walk onto school the next day hand in hand, hyunjins friends are like “NICE” but also super shocked bc HYUNJIN?? DATING???

but then your friends. your mad lads. absolutely fucking LOSE IT they are hooting and hollering and you are like Oh My God I Am So Sorry and hyunjin just. does a lil smirk and kisses ur cheek and u are sent into SHOCK and your friends are in cardiac arrest because holy fucking SHIT

and you two are literally the school’s it couple like initially some people were hostile because they wanted to date hyunjin !! but after a while they accepted it and grew to love the both of yall together, from your wholesome interactions to slight crackheadedness

its just so CUTE he always brings you like a rose or smth every day and ur like “this must be expensive” and hes like ! “for you, nothing is expensive” and ur like “ur so cheesy” and hes like “only for you bb :^)”

also now your side of the class has merged with hyunjin and his friends now joining yall crackheads and its cute uwu

[leaughrilke]

super-sensate-seestras replied to your post

“Who do u think the superbabies will date?? :D (also since stella looks...”

I would love to hear more about Stella and Beth's relationship drama cause I absolutely love all of these breakdowns about the superbabies

WELL FRIEND there’s other drama too but this is the Major drama that hinders their relationship for a long time

so stella know she has a crush on beth, has been like aggressively ignoring said crush and tryin to Live Her Life and its been a year since stella came out, came to terms and she’s just started her nighttime shenanigans as a vigilante, just started trying to help the way kara does, the way maia does and its going ok???  until she.  you know.  gets stabbed (LIGHTLY STABBED) and is like hmmm i feel as though i should reassess maybe

and then beth’s back in national city after graduating early with like three bachelors (xenobiology, nanotechnology, and engineering) and at least one masters and a corresponding doctorate (in something sciencey, listen im barely an english major), working at l-corp bc she’s a Documented Genius and stella wants to step up her vigilante game, especially since she recently was lightly stabbed and doesnt rlly want that to happen again, and beth’s always been rlly calm and steady, very logical and she keeps all of maia’s secrets, so stella approaches her a little reluctantly to see if she’s willing to help and beth gives her this long, searching look and finally agrees, designs and builds her a new suit with a shitton of gadgets, is the main reason stella starts getting called mechagirl by the press but only helps with stella’s promise that beth can then help with actual missions bc like??  beth cares about her a lot too, doesnt want to see her die ya know??

and it’s weird??  bc now she’s friends with beth in her own right???  works alongside her a lot and beth serves as her tech person, finds her jobs she can do that supergirl or birdy (maia’s superhero alter ego) haven’t gotten to yet and national city gains a new superhero pretty much bc of beth.  and then its a late night of saving ppl and stella comes back to her apartment/headquarters and beth’s still there, wrapping up some end of night reports (she insists on keeping detailed logs in order to avoid any issues with the cops later on) and she’s ordered stella’s favorite takeout, put it in the oven to warm for her and stella’s so grateful and also pretty tired??  rlly tired and beth basically lives with her and sometimes the proximity blurs lines in stella’s mind and so she just leans down to kiss beth, murmurs thank you sleepily and goes into her room to change.  and beth’s just sitting there??  like oh my god, the girl i’ve been in love with for months just kissed me and she doesn’t even realize it but then stella REALIZES IT and runs back out like shit im so sorry beth, that was so inappropriate of me but beths like??  wait do you not like me and stella’s like WAIT DO YOU LIKE ME???? 

surprise!!  this is how stella finds out beth’s an alien and also how beth finds out stella’s an alien lmao.  like.  beth’s species has mental shields, similar to martians??  so stella’s never been able to read her or see in her mind but she never rlly tried to or even questioned it??  or even noticed bc she’s rlly empathetic anyway, reads body language rlly well, so she’s never known that beth likes her the way stella likes beth

like, later in their relationship, stella suddenly can read beth??  like rlly well and she’s like um what the hell and beth’s like oh, yeah, i stopped putting up the block and stella’s just like starry eyed like holy shit you trust me that much???  

beth’s like uh yeah but dont let it go to your head you nerd

but are they smart abt this and admit their v deep feelings for one another then??  no.  they just hookup and then keep hooking up, pretending like nothings changed, pretending like theyre not basically living together or doing all the shit Couples do but just refusing to tell anyone or acknowledge it at all.  and it’s ok for a while??  its solid

but then stella’s suit malfunctions, gives her a nasty burn down her side and she begs beth to not tell anyone that she’s in the hospital, that she’s been hurt and beth’s like shit, stella, i can’t keep doing this bc they’re working with a budget of about eleven dollars, a starburst, and stella’s bus pass, building with shit from the scrap yard and old electronics from secondhand stores and beth wants stella to just tell her family she’s the new vigilante bc then they’d have access to better resources, then beth wouldn’t be so scared every time stella runs out to go save a family from a burning car or stop a bank robbery, but stella refuses, knows that it would be a battle to be accepted like this.  

its a fight they’ve had for months before and then stella’s armor fucks up and beth just calls it.  tells her that she comes clean or beth won’t help her keep almost dying, so stella tells her that she doesn’t need her and beth moves all her shit out of stella’s apartment and its all rlly quiet, subdued and its so fucking sad

she takes the job offer she has at wayne security in charm city (wink wink) and doesnt tell stella, stella finds out when she goes over to her moms and finds beth there, with maia and her moms and finn, all laughing and grinning and maia tells her that beth is getting her own department at wayne security, that she’s moving on friday and stella fakes a smile, congratulates beth before she leaves and that’s the end of it, she never sees beth again

but then stella wrecks her motorcycle.  i think i mentioned once that stella is a little bit of an adrenaline junkie??  well she’s a huge adrenaline junkie and she was testing the limits of her newly redesigned bike, pushing it past 90, 120, 150 and then she just??  loses control of the motorcycle.  it just spins out and stella tries to stop it, turns into the spin and pumps the brakes which slows it down enough that she doesnt just fucking die, but not so much that she’s not close to dying

beth is still her emergency contact.  so beth gets the call, middle of the night, that stella danvers was in a wreck, is on the way to the hospital and that she should get here as soon as possible.  but beth is a ten hour drive away and can’t possibly know that she’d get there soon enough, be there if....if it came down to stella not being alone.  and.  well.  its not her place, never was.  so she calls lena, tells her the emts called the last number stella called bc its so much easier that way, kinder to everyone she thinks

she still drives through the night to national city.  gets there just a little after maia does, her eyes red and puffy from sobbing on the freeway, hands shaking a little.  thank god no one asks why she’s there or why she’s this panicked, bc she’d probably tell them and she knows that’s the last thing stella would want (or, well.  she thinks that at least).  maia just sobs out that beth is the best friend for coming, holds onto her in this desperate, damp sort of hug and beth just stays quiet

beth doesnt stay after she finds out stella woke up, is going to be okay.  she can’t right??  she shouldnt be here in the first place right??

so maia stays in national city to help stella in her recovery bc stella’s being stubborn and refuses to move back in with their moms, and maia figures most of her moping is to do with the fact she’s not allowed anywhere near her motorcycle anymore, but then she finds this one shirt that she knows is beth’s, knows beth has had since high school and its tucked under stella’s pillow and she puts it together pretty quickly.  the way they were friends and then all of a sudden they werent, the way beth came running back to nc the second stella got hurt, that weird pulse of anger, hurt she felt when stella found out beth was moving to charm city.  and like???  she doesnt know what to do with that information, she’s not sure what to feel or how to think about this so she just files it away for a later time, tucks the shirt back under stella’s pillow without saying anything

so eventually stella gets convinced to move back home, bc maia’s like hey.  i dont mind living with you and i dont mind helping you, but the neighbors are starting to think its weird that i carry you up the three flights of stairs to your apartment every day so finally stella moves home and maia comes with her bc they’re finally in a good place again??  they finally worked things out between them from when they were kids and maia’s not about to leave stella, not when stella’s like finally started seeing her as another Certified Safe Place.  so they’re back in their childhood bedrooms and then lena finds out about stella’s vigilantism.  mostly by accident??  stella’s still p much out of commission until her body’s at a 100 percent again but lena finds the mask and its a whole Thing between them, the first time stella’s ever really fought with lena and then by natural extension, kara finds out and then maia clues in and then the whole family has an opinion on it and stella’s just like MCFUCK OFF

and maia??  is like desperately scared for her sister, and she’s angry and she’s hurt that she didn’t tell her, didnt think that she would do anything to help her, but she also knows how isolated stella feels, how helpless she must be feeling, how stuck she is, so she calls beth

and when beth is beating around the bush with it, playing dumb like idk why you’d call me??  stella and i really aren’t that close, maia just calls her out on it like.  elizabeth, i know for a fact you were sleeping with my sister

oh

yeah, oh.  i have some words to share with you at a later date, but right now stella needs someone in her corner and that can’t be me 

and beth doesnt like.  doesnt even hesitate.  she drives her shitty beat up jetta the ten hours it takes to get from charm city to national city and gets a shitty hotel and is so, so nervous??  bc what if stella doesnt want her here??  what if she never wants to see beth again???  but then maia’s texting, saying that the house is empty if she wants to talk to stella and she does, she really does, like?  she didnt realize how big of a part of her life stella was until she was gone, until she had moved to a new city and met new people like she’s completely in love with stella, so she goes

stella opens the door and just stares for a second before she says that maia’s out for a while but beth just keeps looking at her and finally says it outright, says i’m here to see you, stella like its the most obvious thing in the world and stella’s so tired, she’s starting to close the door and she’s saying i dont need another lecture, i’ve had enough of those for a lifetime and beth lets her close it, knows her well enough to know she wont walk away from the door before beth does, so she calls through and says im not here to lecture you, stell.  i just.  i wanted to see you

the door opens

and its incredibly uncomfortable for a while, incredibly tense and when beth tries to ask her what’s going on, stella just hisses what, like you care?  and beth like??  normally would fire back with something, normally would let this blow up into a fight but she’s thought about it, she really has, and she knows that any time she can have with stella is better than no time at all.  that she’d rather take stella as she is, thrill seeking and too good for words and hard headed in the extreme, take the risks that come with her than have anything else.  so beth nods.  yeah.  i care.  i care a lot about you stella, and i shouldnt have forced you to make a decision like i did.  but its scary when the girl you love doesnt see the same value in her life that you do and it was terrifying watching you leave every night and not being sure if i would wake up to your face on the news

and stella’s like??  shit.  shIT, didn’t account for this at all.  but beth is very steady, is giving her this even-keeled look, keeping her eyes on stella but not forcing eye contact and she finally stands, gets ready to leave 

and she tells stella i love you.  and believe me when i say that transcends boundaries like platonic and romantic.  i love you, stella danvers, and i will always be here for you, in whatever way you want me to be and then she’s leaving 

and stella has a choice to make, two paths she can take and she stands a little unsteadily and grabs beth’s hand and pulls her back 

and she’s like im still pretty stupid, you’re aware of that, right?  and beth laughs, refutes the statement as she rests her forehead against stella’s.  you’re not stupid, stella, never stupid.  a little dense sometimes...  and stella laughs too before she admits, finally, i love you too, genius.  and i dont think i can keep doing this without you?  and she tries to backpedal, bc she’s worried she’s being manipulative or something but beth just shakes her head, says im going to kiss you now, ok?  and stella’s nodding fast, tears finally starting to fall when it all hits her and then they’re kissing for the first time in six months and theyre maybe still kissing when everyone comes home and maia groans bc like i texted you specifically so i could avoid seeing this ugh you guuuyyysssss

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 9 (part 2)

This ep hits the feels simply cuz  we’re finally in tohru’s head! It shows tohru’s skill of reaching ppl’s hearts, not jst within furuba’s world but the viewers as well. However, while the emotion buttons were hit with tears, outbursts, suspense with the knife & cliff looming all over akito/tohru scenes, then tohru’s fall, fear of her death, another surge of emotions when kyo finally kissed her after their tragic encounter last ep, sth is still missing. For me personally, while the feels were 100%, the writing wasn’t.

-Minor writing Issues with akito/tohru’s “ face off leading to connecting moment”:

The akito/tohru scenes were more designed for the audience feel tohru’s pain more than for akito to connect with tohru. We were in tohru’s head more than listening to these two girls talk. That’s why the emotions hit us & we cried cuz we were listening to tohru’s heartbreaking monologue abt leaving her mom & hear her fear of being lonely without her mom. The heartbreaking visuals were all in tohru’s head. Akito didn't hear or see that. What akito heard was few sentences. Perhaps it is due to not having enough time to cover deeper dialogue between the girls, but akito was supposed to change her entire character, feels, demeanor, with one short dialogue. Tohru was talking to herself most of the time akito was facing her, the actual dialogue between the two was so short & touched upon their similarities briefly. Off course, akito slapping tohru multiple times was needed to indicate that “ look we know akito wont be won by tohru’s sincere words just like that on the spot, we’ll add slaps, multiple slaps to convey that it is logical that akito would refuse tohru’s words initially”. Unfortunately, once again furba uses violence to bridge gaps. tohru standing there weakly taking beating is such a bad taste that it bugs me that ppl are labeling it “ connecting”. I get that akito saw that tohru is after all similar to her & it led her to change, but it was done so quickly that we saw a peaceful, embarrassed, sincere smiling akito at the end of the ep. A new akito.

Furuba has this tendency to take long time building up dramatic character struggle & fix it in 5 or 8 minutes of the eps 20 min running time. The tools are: dramatic confrontation in a climactic style. Nothing is wrong with the tools themselves. They’re excellent story telling techniques, but the falling action is where the author’s skill at. Write drama & climax & raise the heart beat with suspense & emotions but the following consequences is what makes or breaks what you do. The ep needed to warp up akito’s realization for atonement so next eps will show her taking actual steps towards that. It also needed to wrap up kyo/tohru confrontation, so one of the two goals suffered on behalf of the other. kyo/tohru was established in the earlier ep, so it didnt suffer when it was wrapped, but akito/tohru is new thing brought in this ep only & was supposed to signal a new change! the villain getting redeemed. it worked in the emotions department, lots of ppl cried, but I felt it’s a bit weakly written. wished the girls “connected” by talking more before akito extended her hand. Oh well~ it is minor.

-Atonement vs forgiveness:

Akito is seeking atonement. Fixing her mistakes which means she’ll apologize to those whom she wronged & won’t repeat the horrible path of abuse. Atonement doesn't necessarily mean forgiveness. No one is obligated to forgive her just cuz she changed. Anyone who was bulled or abused understands how hard it is to accept the nightmarish past & move on, & look to see your bully/abuser doing well & has become a good person. It sucks to feel, “ oh so, I’m part of ur learning journey towards being a good person? Glad I could help in u realizing abusing ppl is bad, have a good time being good, me? I’m nursing my wounds & dealing with my nightmares that u caused, I’m doing way better now, but the wounds wont disappear”. Ppl might pressure you to forgive them cuz it’s the “ right thing” to do since it will help the abuser stay in the “ good” path. However, only YOU can choose how to respond. Only you can decide if forgiving them is helping u to cope or not. You dont even need to be part of their “ healing journey”. Focus on yourself  & live. Seek happiness & understand that sadness is part of the deal.

On the other side, if you were once a bully or an abuser, regardless of what made you choose such a path: an horrible trauma, being wronged yourself or simply not knowing better, you gotta understand that you might not be forgiven. It is ok if you weren’t. It is the other ppl’s right. Focus on yourself. Become a better person, work to fix the mistakes, ask forgiveness & be understanding of whatever response you might receive & move on. There is nothing else you can do. You cant spend your life waiting to hear the liberating words of “ i forgive you”. Those ppl you abused weren’t  liberated becuz of you for a long time, so it is understandable. Just focus on doing what you can to better yourself, atone, fix what can be fixed & live. Seek happiness & understand that sadness is part of the deal.

I like how akito embodies this themes of Atonement vs forgiveness, I just wish it was done with nice pace~ man! Now I’m really annoyed at the filler eps in se01 & 2! XD..-_-’’

-Again: don’t become the foolish traveler:

I cant say this enough. Tohru & kureno are the poster for kindness is an amazing virtue but don’t over do it.  You shouldn’t put yourself in danger & die like the foolish traveler. There is a reason both tohru & kureno are in the hospital & the author is doing a good job explaining that. Akito’s knife that deliberately went deep into kureno’s body, could have cut tohru by sheer panic & anxiety. Be kind but preserve yourself, too. Momiji said it. kind ppl exist & those who took advantage of them do exist as well. Still you can be kind. Reach out to ppl, but above all be kind to yourself<3

Side Notes:

I get that a yuki/kyo confrontation must happen to mirror tohru/akito. From enemies to buddies/friends/not enemies/ cool with each other. I just hope against all hopes that the drama is toned down a bit. But whom am I kidding? furuba has a history of running like a loose bull! >_<...fine! I’ll change my wish, I hope that kyo’s “ making a turn” from his tragic past & choosing better path is done better than akito’s, as in with “ enough time within furuba’s world, not necessarily multiple eps”.

Guessing who will forgive akito from the wronged zodiacs? I already know yuki, hatori & kureno had forgiven her. I want kisa to be spared from all this delima. Kyo’s entire trauma is abt seeking forgiveness, so I can see him forgiving her. I wouldn't be surprised if there were future kyo/akito encounters due to thoru befriending akito! would love to see that! As for Isuzu, the character who got the most severe abuse ( attempted murder) from akito, I can see her refusing this. Why should she care that akito is now “good”? From her perspective: screw akito! I saw death! nothing is wrong with such perspective from a helpless victim.

This ep is where akito & tohru’s Japanese VA shined the most, but kyo’s Japanese VA didnt have the right to steal their crown with his broken voice upon seeing near-dead tohru!! I wasnt even focused on him! but his voice stabbed me harsher than akito;s knife in kureno’s body! What a performance!!! It gave me chills! I’ve always said kyo’s English & Japanese VAs are good. but that moment, kyo’s Japanese VA delivered beyond comparison! well-done!

I’m still holding on shigure’s character analysis. Gotta wait for the bigger picture. but boy, he’s so grey.

The studio ditched akito’s lean boyish design & opted for a girlish design with lots of lashes, cute runs & girl stye of sitting on the bench. ok, cool. but I hoped akito stayed the same in her design even if she decided to acknowledge being a woman. Not all girls are feminine? they could've kept her the same. She spent i duno 20sth years walking & carrying herself a certain way, Now, tohru changed her, so even her style is different?

Also, It seems I need to give up on my pathetic conclusion that yuki will chang his “ akito-like” hair style! XD. That was a nice theory, ok?XD. I mean having a different hairstyle from ur abuser whom u spent ur childhood with is liberating! but I guess... anime is anime.. T_T. they can become grandparents & still same hair! lol !

Momiji is kind but he is NO foolish traveler. He didnt solely let go of his mom, sister, & tohru cuz he’s blindly kind nor cuz it is the best option for them. He considered & respected the other person’s emotions, desires & stance. He acknowledged & respected that his mom didn’t need him in her life, that his sister needs to grow a bit older before choosing to connect with her, that tohru isn’t a toy he & kyo fight for & he just give back to kyo cuz he’s a gentleman. No, tohru’s feelings matter & her choice is hers. He also didn’t blindly forgive akito nor brush her cruelty or quickly accept her. He stood up with judgemental looks, disapproving of her, waited to hear her sincere guilt, then approached her with wisdom & advice. Momiji is the best example of moderate kindness.