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chxotic-art · 1 month ago

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and the yapper returns

This silly loser smh

AHHH ENOUGH DRAMA ENOUGH ABOUT MEL I WANNA HEAR MORE ABOUT UR CHARACTERS AND UR STORY PLEASE

HEHEHEHELPP?? ALRIGHTY THEN!!

I’ll talk a lil more abt the other Gods and their successors :3

So first we have Altair, God of Fortune (or so he claims) — Denarius’ husband and is just as much of a pain in the ass as he is. His personality is overall very cocky and arrogant thanks to his fragile ego. He’ll gladly talk down to others but the second someone says anything remotely negative about him he crashes tf out 💔💔 he’s very loyal to Denarius despite his usually malicious intentions and the loyalty is reciprocated :3

Then there’s Keithlin, Chaiyo’s adoptive daughter given to him by Darla — she’s already quite fragile mentally due to past relationships that really damaged her self worth, but she still tries to power through it thanks to jokes

BUTTTTTT that won’t serve her in the long run since. Altair decides to be petty and chooses her as his successor. The Sapphire Cross didn’t particularly see anything wrong with the decision because they did think Keithlin was worthy of the title. Altair is overall just very crude to Keithlin and her mental health just deteriorates more and more thanks to him

Then there’s Lunia and Nova. Nova is Keithlin’s boyfriend who she met at a restaurant that she and Chaiyo frequent (along with her younger sister Sophie but we ain’t talking abt her today) and that Nova also works at. He’s an alien that crash landed in the Navinia equivalent of Brazil, and eventually moved to the equivalent of America. He’s basically the sun to Keithlin’s moon and, despite their struggles, they’re more than happy to be together (they actually end up getting married in the future and have 3 kids teeeheeeee)

Lunia is…… complicated. It’s hard to pinpoint her mannerisms and such since she has to adapt to whoever she’s guiding’s personality so they can feel more connected to her, so that kinda results in her not really having her own personality/sense of self. She did find the Sapphire Cross’ choice of Nova being her successor (Gods can either choose their successors or let the Sapphire Cross choose for em if they’re indecisive) a bit odd at first, mainly because he just seemed like your average guy, but she wasn’t against it. They’re probably the healthiest God n successor bond out of all of them 😭🙏 their maturity and morals align almost perfectly and they’ve never had big blowups like the others. Lunia also learns to prioritize herself more thanks to Nova, so she’s slowly finding herself :))

And thennnn there’s Marino who!! doesn’t have a successor

Which is why he’s depressed LMAO he’s worried abt not being able to find a successor (and he thinks that he would be a failure if he let the Sapphire Cross choose one for him — he tends to reject their guidance a lot because he feels as if he needs to learn to be independent. He wants to be a leader, not a follower) and he’s worried that anything could happen at anytime so if he doesn’t find one now then he’s COOOOKKKEDDDD

He has an adoptive daughter tho :3 Mira

She’s the queen of Atlantis since her parents got assassinated and, considering she doesn’t have any other siblings, she got crowned really early. Marino knew her parents and took up the responsibility of being her new dad and also a guide for her. He would choose her as his successor, but he can’t since she already has the pressure of being queen at such a young age.

THATSS ALLL FOR NOW :33

#Chaotic.reblogged #Chaotic.moots #I love it when ppl yap Abt their OCs #Meanwhile my ass who gets nervous about yapping someone's ears off Abt my interests #Perchance I should start posting art again #Anyway tf am I rambling in the tags #Way to go Keith whoo whoo

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butchhamlet · 4 months ago

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do you have any good shakespeare retelling book recs?

what a beautiful time to ask this, says guy who has left this ask collecting cobwebs in his inbox for months! because guess who has two thumbs and just finished queen goneril by erin shields! WHAT a fucking play, holy SHIT, this is some of the best characterization of the lear sisters that i've ever read and the exploration of womanhood as filtered through class + race + shitty families + political maneuvering is so so so good. also the things shields does with the og playtext... chef's fucking KISS

anyway, recency bias aside, i've been meaning to make a post about my favorite shakespeare retellings for a while, and i think i never actually did it because i wanted to make a lear retelling ranking list and then i never read some of the ones on my TBR. so whatever. the learlist will happen someday. here are my favorites in general. (here is my goodreads shelf for the retellings i've read, good and bad, and here is the shelf for the ones i have yet to read.)

in no particular order:

a thousand acres by jane smiley: outsold. epitome of what makes an effective retelling--a book that clearly has something to say about and to the original text, but that also isn't afraid to diverge, to exclude here and zoom in there. ungraciously, this is "lear on a farm" and it starts a little slow, but holy fucking shit, i can't do justice in a paragraph to the way this book unraveled me. one of the best books of all time mayhaps. also, introduced the edmund character by describing his ass. 10/10

the last true poets of the sea by julia drake: i don't read that much YA anymore but jesus fucking christ. books tailored for me specifically. twelfth night retelling about siblings + mental illness + being bisexual + love triangles that actually make sense (emotions are confusing!) instead of being contrived + beautiful description + excellent dialogue + THE MENTAL ILLNESS. books that made me start crying in zoom class in 2020

rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead by tom stoppard: kind of a cop-out answer because we all know this one. but that does not detract from how good it is. this is one of those plays, at least for me, that makes me think, "ohhhhhh, THIS is what theater can do. this is using its medium to the absolute utmost." it is so clever and it makes me want to cry. i think about "i don't know. it's the same sky" more often than i can say

american moor by keith hamilton cobb: not exactly a retelling, but a one-man play about a Black man auditioning for the lead role in Othello, tangling as he does with his relationship with shakespeare's work and cultural dominance. suuuuuch a good fucking play even beyond the analysis of othello (which is excellent); the language is so fucking incredible. everyone who likes shakespeare should read this.

teenage dick by mike lew: modern teenage richard iii; this one's more reimagining than retelling, because it diverges pretty sharply from the plot of richard iii, but god, it's so fucking fun. and upsetting! really upsetting also.

foul is fair by hannah capin: i will be so real. i read this in high school and some of the YA books i've revisited since did not hold up for me. so idk if i can tell you this is "good" with my full chest. but the pitch is "lady macbeth gets sexually assaulted at a party and decides to fucking kill the boys who did it" and i stayed up until like 1am to finish it because it was such a vicious gleaming wild ride

the stars undying by emery robin: does this count? hard to say, because it's just as much a retelling of roman history than shakespeare's antony and cleopatra (honestly, more, since it focuses on the era where caesar and cleopatra were lovers, which is before shakespeare's play). but i'm counting it anyway because it's bisexual space opera cleopatra and it's the best book i've read so far in 2024 and it's making me crazy and i'm writing a thesis on it < genuinely

peerless by jihae park: macbeth, but college applications, featuring asian macbeths (they're twin sisters >:3) who think their classmate has taken their place in their dream school because of affirmative action/DEI. this play is absolutely VICIOUS. it's macbeth x heathers. think it mirrors macbeth in faltering a little in its final stretch, but it still fucks hard

the wednesday wars by gary d. schmidt: okay, not a retelling; this is about a preteen boy in the 60s. but it's one of the best most genuine and heartwarming books i've ever read and it manages to be hilarious while also foregoing cheap slapstick punching-low humor for a hell of a lot of warmth and passion. and the main character interacts with shakespeare a lot as a running theme so i can justify putting it on this list. #evangelizing

of course, i would be remiss not to mention that @suits-of-woe / @mjulianwrites has written the best take on Two Gentlemen of Verona to ever exist, and i mean that quite seriously. unfortunately it hasn't been published yet so we'll all just have to prayer-circle about it. i would also be remiss not to take the opportunity to. uh. coughs. do a bit of casual self-promo. if you 1. have ocd 2. have gender or 3. think about malvolio a lot. boy do i have the novella for you

will definitely add to this when i read more retellings; feel free to drop recs in the tags/replies/reblogs/my askbox!

#max.txt #asks #retellings #< i swear that's a tag i have but maybe not. am i stupid

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hompty · 2 months ago

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Yeah Keith’s going to be thinking about this one for a while.

Comic for all the post canon fans out there!! Poor poor Keith you will have to wait a few years for this moment to come true. I WISH we got more time of them on the space whale because it would have been really fun to see some more glimpses of the future.

Anyway I’m not making another panelled comic like this for a while it was a pain in the ass so ENJOY!

#my art #vld #voltron legendary defender #voltron #klance #vld lance #vld keith #lance voltron #keith voltron #lance mcclain #keith kogane #post canon klance #kinda #poor Keith lol #im never drawing kosmo again btw that was awful

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basilstars0-o · 2 months ago

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if anything I think he should be thinking hunk cuz from his past and from his interaction with shiro about his dad we know that he's probably heard shit like "My condolences" "he was such a hero" etc as pleasantries and not really giving a fuck about him when it's life-changing information that's like bad but hunk found out he was galra and instead of freaking the fuck out or being like "my condolences 😞" He made jokes about it and not just any jokes he made positive jokes like joking that he was funnier after the fact and I know that doesn't seem like a lot but it's a lot better than shitty pleasantries That's don't show that you actually give a fuck about the person anyways yeah I should probably go to sleep or something but eh

I don't hate allura cuz she was so fuckin girl boss for a while but the final pissed me off wdym Keith is thanking ALURA for accepting him??? she was the last to accept him EVERYTIME she also was an ass to him for being galra and then turned around and made out with a lotor LIKE 2 EPS APART SHE CLEARLY COULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD THE NUANCE THAT HE WAS GALRA BUT DIDN'T AGREE WITH ZARKON YK THEY GUY HE'S BEEN ACTIVELY TRYING TO KILL FOR LIKE A YEAR OR MORE BY THEN they fucked everyone over in season 8 ☹️

#that scene pissed me off #allura critical #I think #more like #Voltron critical #but like eh #this is a hunk appreciation post now #I did not mean it to be but I really like how he interacted with keith in that scene #to reiterate I do not hate allura #I just think her writing was ass #same with Lance #but Lance is writing more pissed me off for him than anyone else #allura's writing affected those around her badly #so that's why I'm talking about it #but I'd like to say the fact they made him a depressed farmer makes me want to snap people's necks #that did not fit his character at all #“just the way I like it” do you know yourself? have you been replaced by a clone? are you on crack?#I will make a post about that bullshit at some point when I get angry about it again #so probably in like a week cuz it pisses me off daily #what the fuck was that shit #season 8 you will never be famous #infamous maybe #fuck season 8

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mademoisellekeery · 5 months ago

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\\ Red dress & a black tie //

• Pairing: Co-worker!Steve Harrington x Reader

•Warnings: Swearing, fluff, proof read

•Word count: 1.5k - (1,563 words)

•Summary: Your Co-Worker/Friend, Steve asks you out on a date, after crushing on him for years, and finally “getting over it”, what could go wrong?

•Au/n: THIS IS MY FIRST FIC PEACHES! I’m so excited to post this, let me know if you guys like it and want another part, I do plan on writing part two but feedback would really help!! I did proof read this, multiple times, but if there are any mistakes please let me know! Love love yous, cya in the next one!

You weren't a fool when it came to dating, but you weren't that experienced either. Boys hardly noticed you in High school, and it wasnt any different after. So it surprised you when HE asked you out.

ʚ・ ୨୧・ ɞ ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ ʚ・ ୨୧・ ɞ

It was the afternoon, and you were 2 hours into your shift at Family Video. Well it wasn't YOUR shift, but Robin had asked you to cover for her since she had a date with Vickie, and after all the late night sleepovers you had with robin where she talked about her crush on vickie, non stop might i add, you couldn’t say no, especially when she spent 3 hours trying to reason with you. It’s not like you had any plans but you were looking forward to the perfect afternoon spent in your sweatpants and hoodie, watching whatever crap is on the television and ordering a pizza but I guess it had to wait.

Maybe the rest of the afternoon wouldn’t be a total bust, Steve was on shift with you and he was always fun to talk to. You were good friends with Steve, well as much as a co-worker can be. There was the odd occasion you’d see each other outside work like running into each other at the grocery store, the mall, or that time robin invited you to watch a movie but little did you know, she also invited steve, which was a little embarrassing since you wore your my little pony pajamas and he wouldn’t let that go for 3 months..

You were practically counting down the seconds till you could leave work, which felt like an ETERNITY! you know what they say, a watched pot never beeps, or was it clock?.. you shook your head discarding your thoughts, maybe you could put your time to use, so you thought you’d go check in on steve. You walked out the manager's office almost tripping over a box of VHS tapes. “Steve!” you called out. This was supposed to be put back hours ago.. you thought to yourself. You called out again when Steve didn’t answer, “Steve! I need you to put the VHS’s back, that was your job.” you huffed as you picked the heavy box up, carrying over to the counter, rifling through it.

As you were sorting through the box, practically doing Steve's job for him, you heard something fall behind you. Whipping your head around, you saw nothing, nothing but a knocked over pile of tapes, did steve just quit his job mid way through? Why is everything out? you decided not to question it too much, picking the fallen tapes off the floor when you heard a noise behind you, before you could turn around someone had their hands on your waist, picking you up and spinning you around, you let out a shriek when the person put you down you turned around, it was steve!

“You asshole! what was that for?” You punched him in the arm, the annoyance in your voice doing a poor job of hiding the fear as steve laughed.

“You should’ve seen your face.” he continued to mock you. You stood there with your arms crossed and a sour look. He cleared his throat, “m’sorry, i thought you could use a little entertainment, i know you love horror movies.” he smirked.

You couldn’t stay mad at him, not when he turned on his signature Harrington charm, it would always ignite a fire under that silly crush of yours.

“Yeah I like watching them, not being in them.” You said, swatting his arms away from you. “And why haven’t you done any work? you know Keith is going to fire your ass." Deciding to switch topics you remembered why you came out here in the first place, and almost tripped over Steve's mess. “I’ll put them away, I just wanted to have a little fun.” he pouted.

“Okay well you and your birds nest of a hair can have fun, over there by the Rom-Com section, putting all these tapes away.” I say giving him a shit-eating grin.

“You know you scream like a girl.” He said, deciding he wasn’t done humiliating you about the situation.

“That’s because i am one Sherlock.” you rolled your eyes, picking up the box from the counter and heading towards the office, when you tripped over something, causing the box to go flying, and you almost falling flat on your face, almost. You looked up and Steve had caught you, his arm wrapped around your waist, holding you tightly. “Shit are you okay?” His voice was laced with concern.

“I’m fine, s’fine. I couldn’t see where I was going.” you looked everywhere but him, feeling too embarrassed to meet his gaze. His strong scent clouding your mind, you forgot you were still in his arms, he was still holding you. You stood up properly, pushing yourself away from steve. “Thank you.” You muttered.

“It’s really no problem.” He felt slightly guilting, seeing what you tripped over, it was some of the VHS tapes he left out. “Your lucky i was there to catch you.” a smile started crawling on his face, oh boy, it started getting to his ego.

“Oh yeah, thanks Prince Charming.” You roll your eyes, but he could see through your harsh demeanour.

“Prince charming? That’s new. Do you happen to like princes?” He smirked.

Flirting wasn’t new between you and Steve, it happened quite a lot actually but you knew the type of person he was, so you just went along with it. You had an odd relationship with Steve, as much as you were “friends”, he always flirted with you and called you pet names like honey, princess, sweetheart and every time when he called you those names you’d get a weird feeling in your stomach, almost butterfly like..

When you first started working at Family Video you couldn’t believe you were working with non other then ‘King Steve’.

“Oh yeah definitely, especially ones with GREAT hair.” You said enthusiastically with a foreign smile.

“So you don’t actually hate my hair then?” He questioned, letting out a laugh.

“Who said I hated it? So what if I still think it looks like a beehive.” You muttered that last part but he still heard it, pretending to be offended by it.

“Ouch princess, that one hurt.” Stumbling backwards and holding his hand over his heart like he was shot, though he quickly let up on his whole act.

“Who knew Prince Charming had an ego that bruised like a peach?” You spat out, you were kind of enjoying this little thing you had going on, it was fun teasing him.

“Looks like even fairy tales have their flaws. Despite my “bruised ego”, how about we turn the page and clock out early?”

“And why would the Prince do that?” You said

Steve raises his eyebrow, leaning more forward, giving a smirk, he is felt a lot more confident. “Oh, well maybe this prince thinks this princess is cute and maybe this prince wants to… I don’t know, take her out or something tonight?”

You stand there, stunned. Your face turns into a tomato. That weird butterfly like feeling coming back..

“You want to take me out? like a date? like a date date? like a date where we sit opposite each other, sharing a milkshake, end of the night kiss, kind of date?” You say rambling, you knew Steve in high school, well you knew of him, I mean who didn’t right? He was THE king of Hawkins High, and every girl (and a few guys) had a crush on him, that included you too, but it was a silly girl crush. (A silly girl crush that was still there.)

The famous King Steve who dated girls like Nancy wheeler or Tammy Thompson, so why the hell was he asking you?

Steve chuckles as his heart races, little did you know this was the day he’d been waiting for awhile now. He had been waiting for the perfect time to ask you out. He’s had a crush on you for months now and he had to do something about it.

“Yes, I want to take you on a date date. Yes to the sitting opposite each other, yes to the milkshake, yes to the kiss, yes to everything.” Steve smirked, as he leaned back on the counter, crossing his arms, he hoped you’d say yes.

He may not have noticed you in high school but he definitely noticed you when you started working here, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. You’d often catch him staring, or you’d get a feeling you were being looked at and as you’d turn your head towards Steve, his head was move away from you, like he was looking.

He felt like such an idiot for not noticing you in high school because you were beautiful, then again, he didn’t want you to know that version of him, the version that would probably sleep with you and never talk to you again. He wanted to treat you right, wanted you to know him now, the better version.

Your heart races in tandem with Steve's admission. The air seems charged with a mix of excitement and anticipation. "Well then," you reply with a playful grin, "I guess I can make time in my schedule for a date date. But, just so we're clear, this isn't some fairy tale, and you're not Prince Charming." You give him a teasing look, secretly thrilled that Steve, the once unattainable figure from high school, is asking you out.

———-

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samicakes-exe · 2 years ago

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hii can i request your regular jeff the killer headcanons? :) they don’t have to be smutty

Hello! thank ya for requesting! honestly, i should get aroundto posting all of my creeps head cannons but Jeffy boy is a good start! hope you enjoy!!

also please suggest any other peeps you want headcanons for!

<3 Wordcount: 605 words! so a quick read <3

𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝 𝕁𝕖𝕗𝕗 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕂𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤!!!

warnings: will include smut head canons at the end so be warned. Other than that just Jeff being a loveable ass!

𝕊𝔽𝕎 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤:

okay, let's get this out of the way. he's an asshole.

an asshole who cares mainly about the people he loves.

STILL he's a douche sometimes.

he's not very showy when it comes to his more romantic side. Hell, he struggles to say I love you in front of others and definitely isn't going to admit how fond he is of you to anyone else, even to Liu.

but he is very observant-

He listens, taking notes on what you like. Oh? you mentioned you like a specific type of cookie- there are 10 boxes in the cupboards the following morning.

Oh? you like wearing his clothes, here take a hoodie. (he would be very nonchalant about the situation and if you prod any deeper he would deny deny deny. getting annoyed but still handing you the hoodie.)

he has his sweet moments but still, he's more of a cocky narcissist

handsy too (he will never leave your ass alone!)

my dude is 5'10 on a good day but will totally round it up to 6 foot. He likes being taller than you

if you are 5'10 n up. Well prepare for him to show off his strength instead.

"Give me your hand."

"What?"

"I can beat you in arm wrestling. Give me your hand!"

Of course, you let him win, cuz if not he would challenge you to a race. (like a goddamn middle schooler)

He is quite toned but still built lanky

this man can surprisingly cook decent enough and if you're lucky he will cook for you

ONLY SOMETIMES again with the whole not showing any romantic affection thing

he's a little nerd since before the whole randy, troy, keith thing. He was a quiet kid and ya know quiet kids tend to be nerds n stuff!

he's defintely a nerd when it comes to rock and metal bands.

he has a couple of band tees def.

he doesn't know how to drive- also he's a passenger princess.

ℕ𝕊𝔽𝕎 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤:

minors get out right now!

so we all know this man is kinky in bed, of course!

one huge thing with him is def a knife kink. he absolutely gets off on the fear in your eyes when he presses one of his trusty knifes against your throat. how you tremble underneath him, feeds his massive ego.

he will definitely press it harder while he is fucking into you, he loves seeing you like this underneath him, also loves knowing that you would do this only for him.

he loves ruining you

he has a blood kink of course and will totally fuck you on your period.

his dick is 6 inches and pretty thick, slight curve to the left.

and he knows how to use it.

IF you're into it. Def let him carve his initials into you and watch him go absolutely feral.

he was already into marking with hickeys and bites, but this is like marriage to him i guess.

you're fully his now.

not only is he a passenger princess- his favorite position is reverse cowgirl.

he loves watching you ruin yourself on top of him and sometimes he will thrust up against your increasingly sloppier bounces.

his fingers roughly rubbing your clit

all the while whispering the filthiest things he can muster in your ear:

"cum all over my cock, doll"

"that's right, doll. go stupid on my cock, sweetheart. let me fuck your little brains out."

"you like my knife pressing into your thigh? makes your little clitty throb~"

his aftercare is surprisingly sweet, kissing all over you while he holds you close.

sometimes leaving marks as well, plays back to his whole ownership kink.

there it is! it is rough. i barely edited it so please enjoy. if you didn't like it umm- im sorry :(

#creepypasta smut #creepypasta x reader smut #jeff the killer x reader smut #jeff the killer smut #jeff the killer x reader #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader

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autisticlancemcclain · 1 year ago

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fic rec friday 52

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics. and a quick note before i start: happy one year, everyone! a year of fic rec fridays! i started doing these when my blog really started to take off, and it's been an honour to share these with you :)

A Kind Demon And A Scary Angel by vrepit-nah (anonymous)

Day 18 - Forbidden Love Shiro breaks his head trying to appease the angel and demon on his shoulders and stop them to killing the other. He soon finds out that he didn't need to after all.

making lance's troublemaking ass the demon. so real. poor shiro can never have a break in any universe 😭😭 he just wants to vibe and he just gets bothered by klance all the time

2. Of Friends and Rivals (And Lovers) by vrepit-nah (anonymous)

Lance McClain has a big family, and that means no one is really ever alone in a room at any point of time. It becomes unnatural for him to feel when he’s in space in a huge castle with barely any people. So, he tries to fill the hole in his heart by seeking out his teammates. It strikes Keith odd one day when Lance begins hanging out with him instead of his other friends, and worst of all, it seems like Lance is caving in on himself without anyone noticing. Or: 5 times Lance seeks out to hang out with a friend, and the one time he doesn’t.

the first time i read part v i gasped OUT LOUD bc i was like no way he's gonna fuck up that bad. no goddamn way. and then he DID and i HOLLERED

3. Today, anew by MemeKonVLD (MemeKonYA)

“Lance.” Lance’s eyebrows furrow in concern for a second before his whole face goes gentle and open. “Hey buddy, everything okay?” Keith nods. Then shakes his head, then opens his mouth to let out a noisy sob before he’s hugging the air out of Lance, grip vise tight. Lance hugs him back. That’s one of the great things about him— he doesn’t— he doesn’t need explanations for things like this. He doesn’t make Keith jump through hoops, the way other people might— he’s just— he just knows what Keith needs in times like this. No façades, no posturing. (Or: the one where Keith is trapped in a time loop. A time loop from hell.)

their worst nightmares are each other dying. i am going to lose my mind. i am sobbing and screaming and yelling on the floor. i am sucking on cement. nobody touch me

4. Visions by @snowwarning27

"It’s funny, because as a tattoo artist he makes art that lasts pretty much forever – as far as the person who has it is concerned – but a street artist…their art lasts maybe a couple of days." Keith comes in for a tattoo; Lance immediately falls in love. With his art. His love for Keith comes later.

it's usually tattoo artist keith but tattoo artist lance my LOVE. also i will never get over graffiti artist keith i think about him all the time the punk ass

5. story received, story included by @freshia

(4:20PM): u know, number neighbor, i think i need a chiropractor. (4:23PM): ? (4:25PM): because my back really hurts (4:25PM): from carrying this conversation ;(

Lance texts his number neighbor.

i LOVE texting fics. they're so fun. and lance in a texting fic is always funny bc it's so obviously true that he would be so funny if he had time to think about it. and of course keith would fall for him over text

that’s it for today!! happy one year! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#HAPPY ONE YEAR HAPPY ONE YEAR #im actually so pumped for this like!!!!#vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #angel keith #demon lance #langst #keith angst #klangst #tattoo artist lance #graffiti artist keith #fic rec #fic rec friday #longpost

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most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer · 1 year ago

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Good Omens: Lockdown, Aziraphale’s SAD-ASS desk, and how they get to 'Our bookshop' in S2

Welcome to part 2 of me reading reeaally far into the Good Omens: Lockdown video! (part 1 from Crowley's POV here) This post assumes the item choices in the Lockdown visuals are intentional. What follows is going to be my headcanon regardless, but if you're into the Word of God, Lockdown is canon 'If you want it to be.' and I want it to be, sooo checkmate! >;D

Also this is something of a long boi (~13 minute read without following the links >.>), so if you're into unhinged analysis of details and literary references that indicate Aziraphale is in his longing era and want to learn more about author and fave-of-Gaiman, G.K. Chesterton, either get comfy or mark this to read later when you have time!

C: What? A: *somehow surprised even though HE CALLED* A-ah, hello. It's me! C: I know it's you, Aziraphale. A: *regaining composure* Yes, well, just calling to see how you were doing in lockdown.

The video starts with shots of Aziraphale and Crowley's da Vinci sketches (and some sushi remnants)... Babygirl is flipping through the time-goes-too-fast-for-me version of a facebook album, thinking about his crush. vERY chill of him. (also the paper looks new and he's eating on top of them, suggesting these are prints and he has multiple copies of them... sooo normal)

If we look closer at the still of Crowley's portrait, we can see part of the spine of a book that reads Kei- Chesterto-. This is, of course, author Gilbert Keith Chesterton, to whom Neil and Terry (and Crowley) dedicated Good Omens:

The authors would like to join the demon Crowley in dedicating this book to the memory of G. K. Chesterton A man who knew what was going on.

In this post by @azfellandco about Chesterton, you can see a photo of the dedication page and also read the book excerpt where Crowley describes Chesterton as 'the only poet in the twentieth century to even come close to the Truth'.

C: I'm bored. I'm so very very bored - transcendentally bored. There's nothing to do here!

As Crowley is explaining his nap contingency plan, we get a shot of Aziraphale picking up his mug of hot chocolate, then the image below of the 2/3rds gone bottle of Courvoisier cognac (i mean maybe he is baking with it let's not jump to conclusions), and then the stack of books beside a framed woodcut print of witches dancing with devils...

...that I used reverse image search to trace back to page 17 of a book from 1720 called The history of witches and wizards: giving a true account of all their tryals in England, Scotland, Swedeland, France, and New England; with their confession and condemnation.

Interestingly, the text above and below the picture reads:

At their Meeting they have usually Wine, or good Beer, Cakes, Meat, or the like; they Eat and Drink really: When they meet in their Bodies, Dance also, and have Musick...

Beside the framed print of Aziraphale's idea of a really great night out is a stack of books that includes (going from top to bottom):

Homer's The Iliad, Book 2

Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton

Forbidden Rites: A Necromancer's Manual of the Fifteenth Century by Richard Kieckhefer

a book by Hilaire Belloc with no visible title

The Club of Queer Trades by G.K. Chesterton

The Iliad (according to sparknotes) has the following major themes:

....Interesting, ok. Book 2 in particular starts with a god (Zeus) messing with someone (Agamemnon) via a dream that says he will be successful in taking Troy if he launches a full assault, balls to the (city) wall. Agamemnon, who is supposed to be leading the Achaean army to conquer Troy, believes the dream but then in a weird twist decides to test his army and be like 'jk actually I'm giving up and going home' and then is mad when the soldiers are like 'sick, to the boats!' Then Odysseus, who sparknotes tells me is the most eloquent of the Achaeans, gives an impressive speech to inspire the troops and reminds them that they vowed 'that they would not abandon their struggle until the city fell.' ...No way that could worsen Aziraphale's internal conflict about being a bad Angel who thwarted the Great Plan. >.>; Orthodoxy we'll get to in a second.

Then there's Forbidden Rites which is a medieval necromancy guide translated from Latin with added commentary - Aziraphale is perhaps studying occult topics in an attempt to understand Crowley better? And then there's the Hilaire Belloc book on top of the second Chesterton book, a collection of related stories/episodes?, The Club of Queer Trades. The book's Wikipedia page says:

Each story in the collection is centered on a person who is making his living by some novel and extraordinary means. To gain admittance [to the Club of Queer Trades] one must have invented a unique means of earning a living and the subsequent trade being the main source of income.

Aziraphale and Crowley have rather novel/extraordinary jobs and they're both peculiar-queer and gay-queer. Neat. The narrator in the book is named Charlie "Cherub" Swinburne - also neat. >.> He goes on an adventure with his friend, a retired judge and president of the Club of Queer Trades, Basil Grant, (who Oct 2021 GoodReads reviewer Cecily said is "described as mad, mystical, and a poet, with almost no friends, but who “would talk to any one anywhere”) and Basil's younger brother, a private detective named Inspector Constable Rupert Grant. The last line of the book is:

Thus our epic ended where it had begun, like a true cycle. (something something "It starts, as it will end, with a garden.")

Anyway, the Belloc book and The Club of Queer Trades are placed back to back in such a way that they almost look like they could be one book with two different aesthetics, or... two halves of a pantomime beast?! (stay with me I needed a segue)

Belloc and Chesterton have what is essentially a ship name:

It was coined by George Bernard Shaw (if you are like me and didn't know why you've heard of him: he wrote, among other things, Pygmalion, which was adapted into My Fair Lady). Shaw apparently liked to gossip about Belloc and Chesterton with H.G. Wells (again if you're uncultured like me: he wrote, among other science fiction-y things, The War of the Worlds).

In the Feb 15, 1908 issue of The New Age newspaper, Shaw said:

He continued:

"Chesterton and Belloc are so unlike that they get frightfully into one another’s way. ... They are unlike in everything except the specific literary genius and delight in play-acting that is common to them, and that threw them into one another’s arms.”

Shaw says Belloc is 'a bit of a rowdy', and 'cannot bear isolation'. Hmm. Then he says Chesterton is 'friendly, easy-going, unaffected, gentle, magnanimous, and genuinely democratic'. HMM.

“They share one failing—almost the only specific trait they have in common except their literary talent. That failing is, I grieve to say, addiction to the pleasures of the table.”

Ok ok I think we can see where this is going.

(^ from Staged S3E6)

Now, someone did ask Neil Gaiman about this similarity, and he said the Lockdown video was filmed by Rob Wilkins in Terry Pratchett's library, and that he suspects 'Belloc is there because he was on Terry's shelves beside Chesterton.' And it MAY VERY WELL BE that NONE (0) of the book titles are meant in any way other than 'these are books from Sir Pratchett's library that looked nice on camera and ofc we wanted some Chesterton refs and maybe some demon-y stuff for Crowley' but that is WAY less fun so I am choosing to take them as intentional: these are books Aziraphale is actually reading (along with the sushi and many cakes he is actually eating). Let's put ourselves in Aziraphale's shoes and try to imagine how it would be to read this stuff during lockdown while you pine for a demon with slinky hips after you got in big trouble at work for Armageddoff (and work happens to have defined your worldview and general purpose in life).

C: welll... ngk then people might follow my bad example and get ill. Or even die—

As Crowley acknowledges that he ought to be out making peoples' lives worse, we see Orthodoxy by Chesterton open on the desk.

Orthodoxy is described as a ‘spiritual autobiography’ and is considered a classic of Christian apologetics, i.e. the religious discipline of defending religious doctrines (in this case, Catholic) through systematic argumentation and discourse. Wikipedia also says Chesterton's The Everlasting Man contributed to C.S. Lewis' conversion to Christianity, so overall it sounds like he must've been fairly convincing. (and so maybe reading it also poked at that work-related-but-religious-trauma-adjacent stuff Aziraphale has going on?)

You can read Orthodoxy (and probably any of the books I mention bc theyre all old) on project gutenberg but I will include this part of what is shown on the righthand page bc it just reminds me (and so probably Azirapalala as well) of a certain angel squeaking happily at a nebula:

"I felt economical about the stars as if they were sapphires (they are called so in Milton's Eden): I hoarded the hills. For the universe is a single jewel, and while it is a natural cant to talk of a jewel as peerless and priceless, of this jewel it is literally true. This cosmos is indeed without peer and without price: for there cannot be another one."

Ok great, so Aziraphale is diving into the works of one of Crowley's favorite authors bc he misses him, that's cute. What else? Oh he already wrote him a letter right before calling - THE WICK ON THE WAX STICK FOR THE SEAL IS STILL SMOKING. sO CASUAL asdashgfjds

something something 'either call on the phone and talk, or appear mysteriously; don't do both'

When Aziraphale gets to 'I've never had so few customers, not in two hundred years!' We get a close up of this glass of cognac with droplets still on the side — I take back what I said about baking, Aziraphale is drinking it~

He's not drinking a wine, eg Châteauneuf-du-pape, which would be ~14% alcohol by volume (ABV), or a sherry (15-20% ABV); he is drinking Courvoisier cognac, a hard liquor (40% ABV). Crowley's Talisker whisky is 48.5% while we are on the topic. This is stronger than what Aziraphale usually drinks which means... he could be a bit tipsy.

As Aziraphale starts talking about the would-be cash-box burglary, we get this wide shot of the desk:

In the top left hand corner, we see two stacks of books, most (all?) of which appear to be Chesterton when I zoom in. Some of them have Chesterton's name visible on them, others have the publisher name 'Darwen Finlayson' on them, which according to my googling is a house that published several of Chesterton's works. If Chesterton was truly 'a man who knew what was going on', then perhaps this is Aziraphale seeking not just to feel closer to Crowley, but also to make sense of the warring ideas in his mind. Interestingly, Chesterton has also been described as 'The Eccentric Prince of Paradox'.

C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth?

The screen then shows two occult-y books and a flickering candle (lower left image). Then Aziraphale explains about his cake~, and as Crowley cuts him off because he's about to nervously ask to come over bc he is so so lonely & down bad for a certain angelic bookworm, we see a map of Oxfordshire on top of Pilgrim's Progress (lower right image).

The two books beside the candle are Satanism and Witchcraft (presumably the 1862 book by Jules Michelet that comes up when I search the title), and another called Magic: An Occult Primer.

Satanism and Witchcraft is described on Wikipedia as 'notable for being one of the first sympathetic histories of witchcraft' and says 'Michelet was one of the first few people to attempt to show the sociological explanation of the Witch Trials.’ Sympathy for people who like to eat/drink/dance with demons, if you will?

Magic: An Occult Primer is a 1972 book by David Conway, a Welsh (CACHU HWCH!) magus and is described as 'a seminal work that brought magical training to the every-magician'. It also includes an appendix called The Occult Who's Who, which is somewhat reminiscent of Hastur's Furfur's book about angels. In Chapter 11: A Word About Demons, it says in regard to summoning them:

"Assuming that the form has turned up in the right place, it will soon begin to act and talk in a very friendly manner; do not forget, however, that its winning ways conceal a sinister intention-- namely, to get the adept out of the circle, and into its clutches.”

...okay?? Aziraphale's desk has a flickering candle on it throughout the video, and we get a close up of the flame when Crowley offers to slither over:

and just like that, Aziraphale has summoned a demon~~

Naturally, he freaks out:

A: *panicking*Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over.

But why? Isn't this what he wanted? Let's go back to the Pilgrim's Progress shot from right before the successful demon summoning and zoom in:

In a similar vein to Orthodoxy, Pilgrim's Progress, by John Bunyan, is an allegorical Puritan conversion narrative. Christian is the main character / stand in for anyone who wants to be in the allegory and Hopeful is well, hopeful, from what I gather. A slightly larger continuous excerpt is here for the curious, but here are some bits I thought were especially interesting in the part of the book shown above:

Christian: Why, what was it that brought your sins to mind again? Hopeful: Many things; as, If I did but meet a good man in the streets; or, If I have heard any read in the Bible; or, If mine head did begin to ache; or, If I were told that some of my neighbors were sick; or, If I heard the bell toll for some that were dead; or, If I thought of dying myself; or, If I heard that sudden death happened to others; But especially when I thought of myself that I must quickly come to judgment.

Perhaps the pandemic is bringing Aziraphale's "sins" to mind again, on top of the whole choosing faces thing to avoid 'quickly coming to judgment'. And then:

Hopeful: I thought I must endeavor to mend my life; for else, thought I, I am sure to be lost forever. Christian: And did you endeavor to mend? Hopeful: Yes, and fled from not only my sins, but sinful company too, and betook me to religious duties, as praying, reading, weeping for sin, speaking truth to my neighbors, etc.

UM??? While I can't say about the praying or weeping for sin, he has definitely been reading and the whole 'giving a good talking to' the burglars could be 'speaking truth to [the] neighbors'...?

Anyway to recap:

Aziraphale has been poring over books about dark magic and demons as well as a ton of books by an author that Crowley loves and who formed a partnership w a very different person in a sort of yin-yang, pantomime beast situation

He has been looking at pictures that remind him of their fun times w Leo in Florence and eating sushi and cake cake cake (and forgiving sinners) and drinking hot chocolate and cognac trying to fill a void but now he's tipsy so he wrote Crowley a letter, stamped it with a wax seal and then thought 'I should call her' BUT

His recent brush with attempted death penalties, the death toll of the pandemic, and some of the religious books he was reading have also filled him with guilt/fear over disobeying Heaven, who he knows could still be watching him and Crowley, so he feels much more conflicted than usual AND

He probably has some inkling that he wants to go ape shit on that ox rib if it comes over to hang out (lol editing to add bc i remembered ox rib discourse: ape shit in an emotional way! whether you hc them as ace or not I just think he really likes him and I’m using ox ribs as a stand in for general forbidden joy/love, not specifically sexy stuff)

So he has to say no.

Anything else might cause him to spontaneously discorporate into a plume of pining and cognitively dissonant gay smoke, which may be all well and good if you only think there's a God, but if you KNOW it and the angels are absolutely recording you and Heaven just tried to kill you and your wife colleague, it's... kind of a big deal.

C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*

We don't get to hear Aziraphale's response, but besties you and I both know he is not feeling tickety-boo. He spent like a month putting off calling Crowley (UK lockdowns started end of March, the call is at the beginning of May), finally got drunk and said what the Hell, it'll just be a fun flirty chat in between his temptations, and then it turned out Crowley was depressed and not going anywhere and Aziraphale made him even sadder. And then it got worse because it wasn't all over in July, or in October, even.

I think Aziraphale ends up with a lot of time and brain space in which to think about how Orthodoxy and Pilgrim's Progress were only written to guide *mortals* and how it really wouldn't be so bad if he spent more time with Crowley, would it? Heaven hasn't reached out in actual years again, things feel safer. Crowley is essentially Good and spending time with him would be sort of ministering to the downtrodden and afflicted, and Aziraphale does miss reporting his good deeds (lol you know, whatever rationalizations you need to get you there).

More than anything, he thinks about how hollow everything feels without Crowley; how no mouthful of food or drink tastes as satisfying in his absence because it wasn't ever just about the 'gross matter'...

So when lockdowns end, Aziraphale begins to summon his demon again, but this time with much less inner struggling. It all comes so naturally, when you let it. By the beginning of Season 2 in 2023, they seem delightfully comfortable with their shared routines and places (see also this lovely post by @nightgoodomens). Our car. Our bookshop.

Aziraphale might take longer to catch up, but he does get there.

(SHHH DON'T THINK ABOUT EPISODE 6! STOP! I'M HANGING UP!)

“The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.” ― G.K. Chesterton

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