#and possibly also has read The Nature of Middle Earth?

[daytaker]

Hiiii! I’m the anon that asked for the MC’s family request and it was hilarious, 10/10 if you don’t mind May i possibly ask for a part 2 with the dateables? Thanks for reading!

(Part 1: The Brothers)

"Mom, Dad, these are my other four boyfriends and my son."

...is what you almost do say when there's a knock at the door a few weeks later while you're entertaining your parents, your sister, and teenage cousin who's stuck with your folks while your aunt is on a cruise. Your parents stare at you with faces that all but beg you to ignore the damn door. Is it that cult again?

"Open the door! Is it that cult again?" your sister asks with shining eyes. She's been discussing going backpacking across the country ever since she met those seven hot guys who apparently adore you now. Your parents are devastated.

"Cult?" asks your cousin, looking up from his Switch with dead eyes. Your sister starts explaining to him as you go to the door and look through the peephole.

Oh, Christ. Oh, fuck. Oh, son of Gardonus---it's the son of Gardonus.

Opening the door just partway, you see that it's not just Diavolo. No, he brought the whole crew with him. Barbatos, naturally, but also Solomon, Simeon, and even little Luke. Diavolo holds a bouquet of flowers and Luke has a covered platter that almost certainly contains some kind of cake.

"Hiiiii, guys..."

"MC! It's been too long!" laughs Diavolo in his booming voice.

"It's been...a month..." you concede. Why, just...why...do all these handsome men find you so alluring? This is just your cross to bear, apparently. "It isn't a great time though, so---"

"Is that them?" Your cousin is standing behind you, peering out the door.

"No, this is... Who the hell...? MC, don't tell me there are more of them?!" Your sister is clearly astounded, and also quite delighted. "Invite them in! Invite them in!"

So, soon you're standing in the middle of your tiny apartment again, surrounded by friends and family, holding flowers and a cake, and feeling like you'd love it if a chasm in the earth opened up and swallowed you.

"There were more?" Your mom sounds hurt, like you'd been intentionally hiding things from her. "How many more besides these?!"

"Arguably three, but I don't know them well enough for them to visit," you say, winking reassuringly to the nervous author.

"Oh my god, there's a kid?!" Your sister has noticed Luke now. "Holy shit! Whose is he?"

You point mutely to Simeon, who smiles uncomfortably and waves.

"I'm not a kid!" Luke protests. "I'm--"

"You're a pre-teen. We know, Luke. We know." Solomon laughs dangerously, and Luke doesn't put up any more arguments.

You clear your throat. God, this is even more uncomfortable than the last go-round.

"Um, so. Everyone, I'd like you to meet---"

(Individuals are below the cut!)

Diavolo

Diavolo, who was never good at standing by quietly while other people talked, steps forward before you have a time to do any introductions. He extends a hand to your father, who has been eyeing him resentfully all this time.

"You all must be MC's relatives. What a delightful person you've brought into this world! I am Diavolo. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"'Diavolo'?" your cousin mutters, looking at his Switch screen again. "Like from JoJo?"

Dia looks very confused, and as your father hasn't shaken his hand, he smiles awkwardly at you. "Perhaps I'm approaching this the wrong way? Are the customs here very different from...ahem. Where we are from?"

"You mean Italy?" your cousin says.

"Ah-- Yeah. Dia's Italian. People here are a lot less friendly," you tell him.

Your sister asks him how someone like him ended up in a cult.

You remind everyone that you were not in a cult.

"But you met my baby while they were away from home," Mom says accusingly, glaring at Diavolo. "When they were vulnerable and confused."

Diavolo has no idea what to say to that. Your dad is still glaring at him.

Solomon

"This is Solomon. He's---"

"I'm their mentor and closest companion," Solomon says helpfully, taking your hand. "We have a very special relationship."

You really wish that chasm would stop taking its sweet time and open up already.

"Mentor? Special relationship?" Dad finally speaks up, and his arms are crossed over his chest, his expression deadly serious.

"This must be your father," Solomon observes, still smiling. "Sir, it's an honor to finally meet you. I hope I have an opportunity to speak with you privately later. We have a lot to discuss."

Your mom is ready to throw hands with this guy. Your sister is enchanted. Your cousin is cursing under his breath at his Switch.

Solomon wraps an arm around your shoulders and you elbow him in the gut. He smiles through the pain but lets you go.

Simeon

"...Simeon. Simeon, these are my parents. This is my sister, and this is---"

"Is there some sort of attractiveness requirement to join this cult?" your sister asks, beaming at Simeon.

You remind her that there is no cult.

Surprisingly, your parents don't seem nearly as hostile to Simeon. Maybe it's that angelic charm at work. They both shake his hand, which is significantly more than they were willing to do with anyone else.

"Simeon, that's a good, decent name. What do you do for a living?"

"I own and operate a cafe."

Nice one, Simeon. Very smooth. And your parents look even more impressed.

"A business owner, eh? And at such a young age..."

No one points out to them that Simeon has probably been alive longer than humans have existed.

Luke

"...Luke!" He has a completely normal human name! High fives all around!

"And that's his father?" Mom points at Simeon. "He looks awfully young..."

"Oh, Luke's an orphan. Simeon's just his guardian. It's really sad actually. His parents died when their car careened off a cliff."

How did he end up living with a cult though, they want to know. That Simeon guy can't be a very responsible caregiver if he's living on the road.

You explain to your family (again) that they aren't in a cult, that Luke is a totally normal orphan child with a stable and loving home, and yes, Mom, he goes to school. Yes, Mom, he eats vegetables. No, Mom, you don't need to call DCFS.

"He's so cute," your sister coos.

"I am not!" Luke yaps.

"And he's shaking and everything! You know what he reminds me of?"

You rub your temples.

"A Chihuahua."

Barbatos

"This is, uh... This is..."

Barbatos smiles at you and offers not an iota of assistance. He finds this entire thing pretty funny.

"This is Barb... Barbados..."

"What, like the island?" your sister asks.

Yes.... Just like the island....

And yeah, he talks. Sometimes he talks a lot. I don't know why he isn't talking. Barbs, say something.

"It is an honor to finally meet your family, MC. What a charming collection of people."

"I like your hair," your cousin says, actually looking up for once. "And those are pretty sick beads."

You agree that Barbatos's human clothes are pretty sick.

Did you say human clothes? That was weird of you.

Your mother asks why everyone in the cult paints their nails besides Simeon and Luke. You tell her that there is no cult, but, uh, it's just a fashion thing. They just like it. Don't be judgmental.

Your cousin agrees. Don't be judgmental, Auntie. He paints his nails black. So, like, what, is he in a cult now?

You remind everyone that there is not and never was a cult.

Your cousin tries to give Barbatos his Tiktok and tumblr accounts, and Barbatos smiles very graciously but refuses on the grounds that he does not have a Tiktok or tumblr.

After you manage to get the group out of your apartment, shoving Solomon out as he farewells you as his adorable apprentice, you slam the door shut and lock it.

Your parents smile at each other, agreeing that you could do much worse than that nice Simeon boy. Your sister insists that she is going to backpack across the country with at least ten or eleven hot men, even if they do have a kid with them, and nobody is going to stop her. And your cousin has put down his Switch and is now designing a vampire OC that looks suspiciously like Barbatos.

[k-tarotz]

PAC - What your friends like about you

Just a little pick a card made with tarot and intuition! This is a general reading so only take what resonates and leave what doesn't ♡ pick one or multiple card(s) you feel drawn to!

Please support our post by reblogging or tip us on our ko-fi it would mean a lot to us and motivate us a lot, even if it's not a big amount!

˖⃗ . ݁ ࣪ ، ₊ ˖ ་. ࣪ ، 🥢 ، ࣪ ⊹ ֶ Paid readings ˖. ݁ ࣪ ، ₊ ˖ ་. ࣪ ، 🥢 ، ࣪ ⊹ ֶ

Pile 1

Cards: 3 of coins, 4 of wands, 2 of cups, knight of coins

You have a very innocent vibe to yourself and have a soft heart, you are a very supportive friend and often listen to your friends venting or just when they need someone to talk to. Your friends appreciate that you are there for them when they need you the most. You are also someone smart and often give good advice, your friends learn sometimes from you whether it's from your advice or you telling them some facts they didn't know before. Also whether your memory is good or not you try your best to remember things about your friends, that's also something they really like about you. You are naturally cute and actually some of your friends have a secret none serious crush on you. Your friends cherish you because you are such a nice person with warm words who has no bad intentions. You are loyal and most likely dislike the same people that your friends dislike as well. You also always think of your friends feelings, if something would hurt them you would either not tell them, for their own best, or you would think how to word it in a way it will definitely sound less harsh/hurtful - this is something your friends also really like about you! They know you wouldn't hurt them on purpose.

Things that could be related: nature, water, flowers, aquarius, air signs, 222, 777, plush, animal, A, S, Y, N

Pile 2

Cards: 8 of coins, queen of wands, 6 of wands, the world

You are the kind of friend who puts others (your friends) before yourself [short reminder; please keep in mind how important you are, you should come first before anyone else. Your comfort is important too!] and therefore you are always there for your friends, whenever they need you, even in the middle of the night if you are up. You are a very honest person and immediately tell your friend if you know something that could be relevant for them. You are also overprotective of your friends and stand up for them if they are in an uncomfortable situation. You could possibly be the mom friend or the quite friend that is very caring and lovely, quite scary when mad but you rarely get mad. You like go take care of your friends whether you are older or younger than them doesn't matter. You are quite mature for your age, especially mentally and emotionally, that's one thing that makes your friends feel safe around you. In fact you might be the safe place of one of your friends. They value you and your kindness a lot. Not to be dramatic but you also give the vibe that you would catch a bullet for your favorite person, to protect them. Your friends also know if they tell you a secret you will keep it a secret, they love you for who you are.

Things that could be relevant: hair, virgo, earth sign, anxiety, black, night, 444, 15:15, dreams, spring, R, K, H, L

Pile 3

Cards: 3 of wands, 4 of coins, ace of cups, the star

You are the type of friend that gives there all, no matter the situation. There is a lot of love and adoration in your heart, it’s like you can’t help it but show it no matter what or you might go insane. Not literally, of course, but you could get overwhelmed by how much you adore and love your friends. So you might like to spoil them and help them out in any kind of way possible. For many of you this is related to money (or could be a daydream of yours) but it can just be being there for your friend no matter what happens between you two. You are a very loyal person and even if your friendships were to break up (which they usually don’t, or at least it’s after years for you) you never share secrets and never cross boundaries that you know the other has simply out of love and care for them. You are a ride or die kind of friendship, respectful in your own right no matter what happens. You might also value vunerablity a lot, which is really a big bonus because it makes you understand and kind, none judgmental towards all. Tbh a lot of your friends can view you as a safe space, someone they can rely on at all times and know that they can always count on. You could also be a really fun friend to be with! Your love language must be quality time, or at least just one of it! You could be type of person to love braiding or styling your friends hair, putting make up on them or simply polishing them up and helping them through hard times and they don’t have the energy to do some things themselves.

Things that could be relevant: lipstick/lipgloss, styling, water sign, pisces, summer, tulips, 333, 1212, M, J, D, C

Thank you everyone for reading, liking and reblogging this! Thank you in case you tipped us, it means a lot to us! 🤗🩵

- Hun & Candy

[audreyscribes]

Ω PJO DEMIGOD HEADCANONS: ✌ NIKE: Goddess of Victory 🏆

Author's note: Hello everyone! In lieu of posting the major gods demigod headcanons, here is the minor gods version!As usual these headcanons will contain what it's like being claimed and what it's like for the respective god and cabin, followed by a small story between you, the reader, and the respective demigod of that god. Thank you for reading and please like and reblog! [PJO MINOR GODS DEMIGOD HEADCANONS MASTERLIST] Disclaimer: To new fans or strictly TV watchers of the PJO series, future spoilers for the entire PJO series books will be referenced. Read at your own risk.

When you get claimed, it’s after winning. It could be beating an arm wrestling match, winning at rock paper scissors, you get the gist. 

The desire to win is so strong that it’s borderline obsessive.

Competitive is the defining word for a child of Nike. 

You have the last laugh- even if you lose at that moment, you’ll find yourself winning in the end, even if you have to play the long game. 

Perfection, or near perfection, is also part of your drive. It may not have to do with everything and anything, but it is there.

You’re athletic as heck as Athletics fall under her domain. If you weren’t before, well, not if Nike has something to say about it. Consider it the equivalent of Aphrodite’s blessing, where her children are blessed with perfect makeup and hair, except in your case, you have a boost in athletic skill, intelligence, and etc. Even if you have a chronic disease or disability, Nike has you covered in ways you didn’t know were possible. 

If you aren’t competitive, you’ll start to feel the need to win when you see someone outpacing you. This often leads to a choking hazard when more than once, a child of Nike overheard a “Let’s see who can eat the fastest!” or something of that degree. If one child of Nike starts doing it, then another will follow, and a chain of Nike children are shoveling food into their mouths. Then the sheer energy produced by the chain of children of Nike affects everyone else. Food competitions and food fights, especially, are banned in Camp Halfblood for these reasons. This is one of the few times Mr. D intervened with his godly power with his own, and oh boy. 

In games like Truth or Dare, they will definitely commit. You can imagine what’ll happen. The Hermes cabin is banned from asking or starting a Truth or Dare game when there are children of Nike around. It was not pretty. Limits were tested and broken. Absolute truths unbearable to hear as everyone felt some emotional reaction; but mostly unbearable, intense second-hand embarrassment that some just walked out of. Impossible challenges were met and there was much, much regret. Travis and Connor Stoll are, as expected, the perpetrators of this ban. 

Spite. So much Spite. You will do things out of pure spite. Being kind out of spite is also on the table. You can be even spiteful out of spite. How that works, I have no idea and only you know.

Any form of congratulatory tokens are handled by the children of Nike; especially the Laurels. 

You have a natural affinity with a child of Athena, due to her connection Athena, but also children of Ares. This is mostly due to the fact of their domain of war.

The bit of having a natural affinity with a child of Athena or Ares is crucial because more likely than not, they will either enable you or they will be the ones to pull you back and give you a down to earth level. This is usually done by the children of Athena, but when an Ares’ child does it? Oh then you know, a line has been crossed.

Depending on how many Nike children there are, Chiron does his best to split you guys in the middle, and put one half in the team with the Are’s team, and the other half with the Athena’s team. This is to balance out of the gods on the behest of the Nemesis cabin due to…incidents. Very bloody and catastrophic incidents. 

Likewise on never challenging a child of Nike, this also applies vise-versa. NEVER ACCEPT A CHILD OF NIKE’S CHALLENGE. YOU WILL LOSE. YOU WILL REGRET IT. A CHILD OF NIKE’S CHALLENGE IS ONE THEY KNOW THEY WILL ABSOLUTELY, GUARANTEED WIN. [Accept at your own risk and peril.] 

There’s a 120% guarantee that a child of Nike will take any challenge with any sort of prize. It doesn’t matter if it’s something very minor like a cheap toy, they will do what it takes to win it. The icing on the cake? There’s a rumour that there’s an actual prize that Nike herself promised to her children that whoever wins the most by the end of the year, they will receive a prize from herself. Most people know it's a golden laurel, but there’s a rumour that they could earn a pair of golden wings much like Nike herself (of course a dumb down version but still very powerful regardless). The kicker about this? The bar is set higher every year; where the children of Nike must win at least above the minimum from the previous year. The bar is constantly moving. No one’s sure if it’ll end. 

Don’t worry though, the children of Nike have (some sort of) honour in winning. Sure they might use tricks and schemes to win, but there won’t be any dirty or easy wins from them. They’ll earn their win as fairly/honourably/squarely as it can be. On the other hand, if it’s an easy win or win by default, some children of Nike might not take it. 

You were coming down from the high of winning and the claim of Nike over your head. When Chiron announced who your godly parent was, you thought “Yeah that sounds about right” and as you were basking in the afterglow, you heard incessant yelling from the distance that was quickly getting louder. 

People were either moving to the side, diving and pushing others to get out of the way, and those who didn’t were bouldered over by a pair of identical twin girls. They both had brown hair and were practically pushing at each others’ heads, while rushing towards you while trying to push the other away, but inevitably were knocking others around them down.

They looked around before their eyes locked on you and you froze like a deer in the headlights as they barreled over to you as they both stuck their hands out at the same time, and yelled in your face excitedly,

“Hi! I’m Holly Victor, child of Nike and cabin leader!” “Hi! I’m Laurel Victor, child of Nike and cabin leader!” 

Their words sounded like you were hearing stereo and you were reeling from everything. Upon instinct, your hands both stuck out to take their hands and before you could even think of introducing yourself back, the twins snapped their heads at each other and they glowered, 

“Hey I was first! No, I was! Stop copying me! I won first!” they both said and your head was spinning. 

You stammered out an introduction, as helpless at it may be but they’re focus turned to you just as you finished saying, “-and who are you guys…?”

Before the two girls could even think to explain first, Chiron stepped from behind them and placed his hands on their heads to get them to stop. 

“They’re Laurel and Holly Victor, twin sisters and daughters of Nike, just like you. They’re also the cabin leaders of the Nike cabin” he introduced. 

“But aren’t there supposed to be one cabin leader…?” 

“Normally yes, however, when deciding who would, being children of Nike, the two argued and fought for a very long time to be cabin leader before we all agreed it was better for both sisters to be cabin leaders.”

You paled at your future being at the Nike cabin as you prayed to your godly parent for strength, but remember they got this from Nike, and more importantly-

The Victor twins both grinned and shook your hands at the same time, “Welcome to the Nike cabin, new sibling!”  

You just stared at them and thought, ‘This is going to redefine sibling rivalry in all history of sibling rivalry” 

[astroyongie]

ೃ⁀➷ Future Spouse Reading ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

I am back with a reading for Future spouses! this is a general reading so of course the info here isn't 100% for your FS but you can find some info that you might want to get an eye in!!

Take a deep breath

close your eyes

Now chose a pile that you feel more connected with and discover what it says about your possible FS!

Have fun !!

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Pile 1 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

: ̗̀➛ Astrological Placements

their are Air dominant so either a air sun or rising sign

in some cases its an air sign stallium

: ̗̀➛ Appearance

Your FS is someone average height depending on their gender. they are mostly a white person so they can come from Europe, USA, Canada, more from the western countries. they have sharp eyes and nose. I didn't got much on their physical characteristics

: ̗̀➛ Personality

witted and vif personality, they are someone who see things as they are, they have a very straight mind and way of being

they are also the type to have a different perception of the world they are very observing and they are able to pick on the small changes that happen around them

FS is also someone with a big heart that often helps others instead of helping themselves. this energy also could mean that they will work on something that is help related such as science/medicine area such as doctors or nurses or even social workers or psychiatrists

: ̗̀➛ Background

Didn't get much here but they aren't someone who come from a rich background. for many of you, your FS comes from either a middle class family or a more economic difficult family background, they are close to nature so its possible that your person has grew up in the country side rather than in the city.

: ̗̀➛ Sexuality

isn't much to say here, they are someone pretty average and "banal when it comes to intercourse. I feel like they aren't the best but they aren't the worst either and that things will mostly feel like a normal married couple

: ̗̀➛ Difficulties

they are someone that will be stuck into a routine most of their lives, so your life will be mostly dealt through routine. waking up, taking care of the kids, going to work, find the family at night. they are someone who needs routine, who doesn't really like to move around or travel a lot

Your FS is also someone that grew up in a very toxic environment or for some they are someone who have a very toxic environment around them. this could potential make the couple go through some issues in the future and its also the main difficulty in the relationship.

: ̗̀➛ Random

for some of you, you will end up marrying someone who is divorced or someone with whom you will divorce in the future. there for man y the energy of divorce so it really will depend from case to case (this also could be the person you will end up with after a divorce for exemple)

they are someone with many resiliences skills and they are very brave in their every day to fight the difficulties in life. they set straight boundaries and they don't allow people to take advantage of them

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Pile 2 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

: ̗̀➛ Astrological Placements

Here we have either a earth (mostly taurus) or libra sun, rising and stallium

: ̗̀➛ Appearance

for most of you, your FS is someone black or brown skinned colored (in some cases mixed), with short hair. they are rather tall for their gender and can be considered handsome/beautiful

: ̗̀➛ Personality

they are very creative and they might have an hobby of doing music, painting or doing any type of art in general (for some fs this could also be a professional vocation)

they are very agitated, they are someone that always needs to move, they are very funny they like to tease and they just unable to stay quiet and still

despite all they are also someone very sensitive and they have their own emotional side that needs to be take care of

they are very chick, coquette. they like to dress well , to look well, to have a nice scent, to always be good looking, they take care of their appearance a lot

: ̗̀➛ Background

for most of your, your fs will be a fiend of your first or a friend of a friend/friend circle that will be introduced foo you and which will be falling in love posterior to this

they are also a fight in their soul. this for some could mean your fs will be working in security, firefighter, combat sports or illegal sports, street fighting, soldiers or military in general.

: ̗̀➛ Difficulties

their mental health will be the principal difficulty you will have In the relationship. of course this will be translated differently for everyone and each fs will have their own mental illness that will be a difficulty in the relationship in its particular way.

Your fS is also someone that used to do bad things (either to themselves or to others) and even after being married they can still have these patterns which might cause issues in the marriage

just like another FS, this FS also has repetitive behaviors which means they have a hard time letting go of what is inscripted in their behaviors since they are young and some of these patterns can make you uncomfortable or provoke arguments

: ̗̀➛ Sexuality

they are the type that likes new things and doesnt like traditional sex altogether. even after being married it won't lose the spice nor the novelty. they are also a experienced lover and for many more experienced than you in the matter

: ̗̀➛ Random

they have always new resolutions, and like I said they like to experience a lot so they are always ready to take their wife/husbands to an adventure

they also have a very bad relationship with their work and for some with their working colleagues and that would be something hard to deal with all their life

be careful because they are the type to attract a lot so people will fall in love easily with them and they will alway try to make you two apart

these person will have physical transformations during your marriage. for most it will be from going to skinny to chubby or going chubby to skinny

in many of your fs will be very spiritual or religious

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Pile 3 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

: ̗̀➛ Astrological Placements

pisces energy here but honestly any sun, rising or stallium in water signs

: ̗̀➛ Appearance

they are rather short for their gender, and honestly this person could be from any ethnicity, there isn't here any thing that gives away where would they come from. due to that their physical appearance is also impossible to say

: ̗̀➛ Personality

they are quiet by nature, shy, introverted even I must say. they aren't confortable in open spaces in general and they like to have their own cocoon

some of you will be dating someone who likes to write or to read

they can be quite chaotic as well, like someone messy that often forgets to do their responsibilities and need to be reminded constantly

they are free free too. they won't be the type to force you to do things the same way they expect you to give them enough freedom

: ̗̀➛ Background

most of your FS had at least one experience with abandonment (either parents or earlier partners) which causes them to be very very insecure in their life and to have patterns of behaviors that reflect those issues

despite that, they are very close to the family they have left (in some cases even to the family that have abandoned them/mistreated them). Family plays a huge factor in their personal lives

During their adult life they will be able to have some luck when it comes to their love life with you or even in their work since they have a rough start, as they will get older, their life will fix itself

during their life with you they will probably suffer form heart diseases

: ̗̀➛ Sexuality

your FS would be someone quite goo at sex because they are just as kinky as they are nurturing and the combination will go quite well for their partners. they are very romantic and that can be felt inside the bedroom

: ̗̀➛ Difficulties

they are someone that are instable emotionally so this will possibly bring a lot of complications in the couple I the future

and with that they are also very doubtful, they doubt everything and everything, they doubt feelings and actions. once again this will go with the instability and be one of the major difficulties to live with

for some of you, they are someone that would rather keep the relationship discreet or even secret from other people. although this could not be an issue for some, it could be an issue for others, specially if you are the type that likes to show your partner around or in social media since your FS isn't the type to enjoy exposing their life around

The weight of their family is very very present, which means they are unable to let go of their family opinions nor the need to see them or be with them. this can be cute but also a huge difficulty to solve when in a married relationship

: ̗̀➛ Random

they will be the first one falling in love for you, and they will probably try to court you, flirt with you and try to conquest you when you two first met

some of your FS will be living by the sea

some of your FS are people hat believes and likes to manifest

but also they enjoy the beauty things of life and might have a liking for luxury things

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Pile 4 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

: ̗̀➛ Astrological Placements

water energy, so water sun, rising or stallium sign

: ̗̀➛ Appearance

most of your fs will have eyes of color and mostly green I see here. they are more for the brown color (not entirely black so maybe mixed or for exemple form arabic roots or even Indian in some cases and even for some asian with a more honey liked skinned tone). they have a very impressive built as well

: ̗̀➛ Personality

they have a temper thats for sure, they are usually very quiet and nice but they can be very agressive as well depending on who they don't like

other than that they are also a very jovial personally. they like to be happy, they are funny and enjoy making people around them happy

: ̗̀➛ Background

most of your fs will come from a wealthy family or at least their background will be economically better than yours

due to that they are also probably someone who will have a lot of money, who will work and have a good job or studies. they will be able to provide

: ̗̀➛ Sexuality

their sexual energy is rather complicated to read because some of the fs have a very complicated relationship with sex altogether and they view It as complicated or at least they are very traditional in some points

however in some cases they are also quite kinky, like bdsm kinky like

: ̗̀➛ Difficulties

I feel like most fs will have a posterior relationship that caused them many issues. obviously for each person this will be different but the common point is that, the past relationship has a lot of influence on our you fs will behave with you which will cause issues

they lack of communication a lot, they aren't the type to communicate well or to talk about their feelings. this could potential be a difficulty especially during arguments

some fs will have a personality that is very complicated to deal with because they can be easily evil without meaning it (in some cases) which again can be proven difficulties

: ̗̀➛ Random

their mother is very very present in their live which is good but at the same time can be complicated (especially if they are boys)

despite coming from a wealthy background they are very generous and they are the type to enjoy sharing what they have with people who need it. they will also provide for their partner and give them whatever they need

expect them to be a long erm successful professional. no matter the job they do, they will be successful and continue the wealthy partner that is already present on their family

but also this comes with he fact that they are a workaholic and they probably spend little time at home

they will have throat issues during the marriages, mostly disease associated

the relationship between you two eventually gets better with the years

i see that you guys will also be the type to have a. lot of projects and some of you will even move countries a lot or will be changing to move abroad.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Pile 5 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

: ̗̀➛ Astrological Placements

air energy, Aquarius for most of you. So sun, rising and stallium in air sign

: ̗̀➛ Appearance

they are average height for their gender, they come from a white background, probably western as well. They have big eyes, probably dark in color and a sharp nose. they have a fluffy appearance so for some they are chubby/curvy

: ̗̀➛ Personality

diânt got much info here, other that they are people that are rather intuitive, very in sync with their emotions and with their spiritual side or their faith in some cases. their whole personality is mostly based ont heir values and morals

: ̗̀➛ Background

they will be someone with a rocky and rough path while they grew up, thankfully not of tFS have gone through healing and emotional healing and therapy.

some of these FS will be found after you (or them) had a very harsh break up. however in some cases this marriage will also end up in divorce.

they are someone that will suffer a lot from digestive diseases after you guys get married

: ̗̀➛ Sexuality

they are very active sexually, they have a strong sexual energy and probably the type that has a lot of passion and energy to give into the relationship. it will differ form FS from FS, but most of yours is quite kinky, mars like energy and masculine energy as well

: ̗̀➛ Difficulties

they are someone that enjoys to be alone and often they will try to push you away unconsciously or not talk to you when something is wrong. because of that this would bring in some difficulties inside the relationship

they also have a hard habit to break into their behavioral patterns. most of your FS has an incapacity of changing the way they are, they always go back to their usual patterns which again can be rather problematic depending on what pattern of behaviors they have and how harmful they are to you or themselves

: ̗̀➛ Random

they are someone that always have a new idea or new goals in their life and they will mostly try to take you in their crazy ride

however they also lack a lot in planning and if you are someone that actually executes plans than the marriage will be nice and balanced. your FS is also someone that can fear the unknown and doesnt enjoy leaving their confort side

they will be working independently and for themselves. for many fs this can be someone that has their own company or have their jobs hat doesnt require to work for someone else

again, the divorce energy is very represent but it will be different form everyone in some cases you guys will divorce or find each other after a divorce

Your Future Spouse isn't your twin flame

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Pile 6 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

: ̗̀➛ Astrological Placements

here we have earth energy, but also air signs and scorpio. in sum, rising or stallium

: ̗̀➛ Appearance

they are someone with short hair, in some cases their will be rather bald. they have dark eyes and hair (if they have any). they are average height for their gender and they are more of a dark skinned tone than yours

: ̗̀➛ Personality

they are someone that don't miss opportunities and they take whatever lives throws at the without being bitchy about it. they are very grateful for what they have no matter if it is positive or negative

they aren't a liar, they are someone who likes to tell the true and likes to listen to the true. don't attempt to lie to them

they are someone rather stable in their life, with a stable personality as well

they are also very intuitive !

: ̗̀➛ Background

in most cases this is someone that have suffered from negated when they were a child and that have impacted their perception of the world a lot

and in some cases your fs was either cheated on a lot of they have a very large cheating list before they have met you

: ̗̀➛ Sexuality

they are rather good at sex. they aren't bad and they aren't extradionary but they are good and they are usually the type that can safety a married person

: ̗̀➛ Difficulties

for most of your, your fs has commitment issues which will cause complications in the marriage. for some your fs won't want to marry or they take a lot of time to marry you, in some cases they can cheat or be paranoid and think you are cheating on them. they have trust issues and commitment issues and that will be the biggest difficulty with them

: ̗̀➛ Random

despite everything it is possible fo you and your fs to live in a very happy relationship for the rest of your lives (if you learn how to forgive cheating in case it happens )

they are also someone that during the marriage will known professional failure (probably will get demitted in their work or will lose their job or will have a period were he won't find work/won't be able to work) and they will need your support a lot

probably to leave together until the end of your days

[lagoonalake]

Can you do zerobaseone ideal type to

ZEROBASEONE IDEAL TYPE

!!No reading for the maknae because he is still a minor!!

HANBIN

Personality: 9 of cups, temperance, the wheel of fortune

Very chill, light-hearted energy. I don’t hink he has a specific type that he is attracted to, he just wants something that feels good, that is relaxed, comfortable, where there is a feeling of calm, serenity, balance. But his type is still evolving and changing quite a lot. It’s like he’s discovering with each new experience his love style. It’s not codependent, it’s very light, very zen and about sharing and enjoying pleasures together. He’s also rather open to different types of people, different types of experiences in love.  sagittarius, pisces, jupiter, libra, aquarius

Appearance: king of wands, the hanged man, queen of swords

Rather proud looking haughty people, with have a certain class and prestige, could be attracted to a high status. Sophistication. I would say he’s easily impressed by beauty. More lavish, a bit extravagant trendy style, a lot of accessories, colors, make up. People who have an ethereal sort of beauty, a bit otherworldy, sleepy eyes, he likes the artistic idol look, with crazy hair colors, eye contact, the AI look. Rather tall and slender, long limbs.  leo, aquarius, pisces

Turn offs: the hermit, 9 of swords, the fool

People who are shy, who don’t open up, who never talk, people who are awkward, anxious, pessimistic. Party poopers, people who are too serious, who cannot enjoy the present moment. Either too mature or too childish and naive. People outside of his immediate environment. Overly “deep” and complicated people, he prefers someone more simple and light hearted.  negative cancer, capricorn, virgo, scorpio

JIWOONG

Personality: knight of pentacles, the devil, the sun, 5 of cups

This could be a specific person. On one hand there is someone with a rather calm, practical, slow moving, stubborn energy, rather discreet and modest. On the other hand there is the fast life linked with fame. And in the middle of it all is heartbreak. So I could see him being in a relationship with this non famous person, that matched him in many ways, grounded him, who was real too, with real love, real pleasures, simple but true. But he sort of fell for the temptations that come with fame, all the people throwing themselves at him, the attention…etc.   earth signs, leo, neptune

Appearance: temperance, the hermit, queen of pentacles

Very calm aura, grounded, earthy. Could be someone a bit older or just mature. Natural beauty, simplicity. Harmonious symmetrical balanced features, good proportions. Coziness, warmth, sensuality. Someone who looks both practical and spiritual, could be like a yoga teacher or something lol. Flexible feminine body. Comfortable in their own skin. Warm, rich, a bit darker colors. Soothing voice. earth signs, libra

Turn offs: 5 of swords, 8 of cups, 2 of pentacles

Here again I feel like I’m picking up on a specific energy, specific argument even that could be about money. He is more ambitious and wants to earn more and is ready to sacrifice some things while his partners may tend to be more simple, to be ok with having enough, but he wants more.  virgo, saturn, cancer, pisces

ZHANG HAO

Personality: high priestess, 6 of cups, queen of swords

Someone who is a bit mysterious, more introverted, secretive, magnetic, possibly who appears a bit cold on the outside but this would just mean that they have strong boundaries and would only let in someone special. Someone with a lot of depth, a lot of love to give, empathetic, a very calming, soothing healing sort of presence. Very calm. Intelligent, mature and interesting. Very elegant, alluring, feminine. Something untouchable about them. But once in the relationship the love would be very deep, unconditional, familiar, safe, a meaningful relationship. scorpio, saturn, libra, virgo, cancer

Appearance: page of cups, page of pentacles, the lovers

Even though when it comes to personality he is attracted to maturity, when it comes to looks, he likes a cuter, more youthful appearance. Small, round face. Small features, shorter height, petite stature. Someone who has a softness and kindness to their looks, a purity. Someone with a dreamy, artistic, romantic and also safe, calming, natural appearance. I see flowers, stars, very dreamy almost fantasy type of look but it’s also in nature, in a very cozy place. Soft skin. Colorful clothes, purple, pink, green, blue. Creative artistic fashion. Smells good, especially flowery perfumes. pisces, taurus, cancer, mercury, virgo

Turn offs: the magician, 2 of wands, knight of swords

Manipulators, people who are too chatty, the business type of people, always concerned with money, profit, that sort of enterprising spirit. People who are disconnected from their emotions, with no artistic sense, people who are blunt, lacking in empathy, tactless, unable to understand others or care about them, selfish, aggressive, impulsive, fast paced. Overly ambitious people. aquarius, gemini, capricorn, aries

SEOK MATTHEW

Personality: knight of swords, 6 of wands, 9 of swords

He likes people who he can get a strong reaction from. People who are a bit impulsive, easily triggered, whose emotions run high, even people who can worry easily, people who enjoy attention and who are a bit proud. I think it’s because he enjoys teasing them, and he likes when someone responds to him. Someone quick to react, with a rather active mind. Active body too, someone more action oriented. Who enjoys activities and going out. Someone who can be really fun too. He likes this bickering old couple sort of dynamic. aries, leo, gemini, virgo, sagittarius

Appearance: queen of swords, 2 of swords, the tower

Someone quite intimidating, haughty, who could even look a bit mean. When it comes to outer appearance very elegant, sophisticated and stylish. But you can feel passion and even aggression boiling just under the surface. The type who can be an ice queen most of the time and throw big tantrums from time to time. Something a bit explosive about their aura. They are trying to keep it under control but you can feel they are triggered. XD Lots of jewelry and luxurious items. Rather tall or appears tall. Pouty lips, that sort of Bratz doll mouth. aries, leo, libra, scorpio, mars

Turn offs: queen of pentacles, king of swords, the devil

People who are too serious, stoic and controlled, who don’t have any spontaneity. Someone manipulative, who is trying to control him. He wants to pull the strings! XD I don’t think he is so manipulative in an unhealthy way, he is more teasing and funny, but he doesn’t like when it goes the other way around, when someone is like that with him, he wants to be the one in control. Anyone too toxic or unhealthy.  saturn, capricorn, aquarius, pluto, negative scorpio

TAERAE

Personality: 7 of pentacles, 2 of wands, the star

I feel like his idea of relationships is mostly abstract and that he doesn’t really know exactly what he wants right now. But he would prefer to take it slow, so someone patient, observant, who would approach him carefully, he would probably want to feel the spark right away, but start off as friends. Yet he wants this person to be enterprising, to make the first step, to have a certain boldness, even if they would not force the relationship. Someone fun, inspiring, strong, confident, protective, positive who would give him hope and boost his confidence, and care for him, support him all the way. He would prefer his partner to be more experienced and the decision maker.  leo, aquarius, cancer, jupiter

Appearance: page of cups, 9 of cups, the emperor

A soft more masculine sort of appearance, someone who looks very chill, welcoming, kind, but also confident and relaxed. Short hair, big smile. Nice teeth. Relaxed fashion or style. Commanding presence, maybe a more powerful physique. More androgynous in appearance. Soft facial features, full lips, big eyes, tan and soft skin. The color blue, white, turquoise, purple dreamy watery colors.  pisces, taurus, aquarius, cancer

Turn offs: 5 of cups, 10 of cups, king of pentacles

Someone who wants to go too fast, who is too clingy, needy, codependent, he is not ready for a long term stable relationship right now. Maybe he had to turn down people who were very family oriented and traditional and wanted to build something long term with him, but it’s too early for him. So he would prefer someone more light hearted and who wouldn’t want to put any label to the relationship, something more free.  taurus, cancer, pluto, saturn

RICKY

Personality: 4 of wands, 5 of wands, the fool

Cards kept falling down so probably he likes something a bit chaotic! XD Definitely someone very fiesty, fun loving, who likes to party and who laughs a lot, very lively. Someone who is competitive too, hot headed, action oriented, sporty. Energetic, who enjoys a lot of activities. Someone very spontaneous, passionate, and everyday with them feels like a new beginning, never boring. The chemistry is what matters the most, he needs to feel that spark, and he doesn’t mind a bit of drama if it keeps the passion alive.  aries, sagittarius, leo, uranus

Appearance: 6 of pentacles, 6 of wands, 2 of wands

A more practical look, nothing too fancy. He prefers simplicity. Athleisure, mountain look, short hair or hair tied up in a bun, someone who looks like they are used to do things outdoors. Fit sturdy body, tan skin. A more natural look. Confident and mature. A bit fierce looking, strong eyebrows, sharper, stronger features. Warm coppery colors, brown, orange, red. mars, sagittarius, taurus, aries

Turn offs: ace of pentacles, 2 of pentacles, 3 of cups

Someone who is too focused on the practical, always thinking about money, only wants to do things that are useful, productive. Someone who never really loses control. Someone who is greedy and opportunistic. Someone who is a people pleaser. He also wants to feel the passion right away, so someone who appears to friendly lol, he needs that hot passion right off the bat. earth signs, libra, aquarius

GYUVIN

Personality: page of pentacles, the star, the high priestess

Someone very kind, helpful, feminine, soft, caring and practical. More discreet or shy, a bit mysterious. Positive. He could like a bookworm, think Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Someone who is doing their own thing, very compassionate, good with animals, who has a lot of culture and knowledge. Someone who is a bit spiritual or religious as well, who believes that something is looking out for them. Who would give him a lot of hope. A reassuring presence but at the same time someone he’d want to protect. Someone who likes to cuddle. virgo, pisces, cancer, jupiter

Appearance: 5 of cups, 7 of pentacles, queen of swords

Someone who looks a bit distant, melancholic, somber. Who could look a bit cold or even mean on the outside but he would feel that they are a wounded soul. Someone who is more of a loner, who doesn’t talk much, closed off body language. A more traditional asian beauty type, slender, pale skin, classy, long hair, clean looks, elegant, refined. Almond shaped eyes. capricorn, virgo, scorpio,  aquarius

Turn offs: justice, page of wands, the hierophant

Someone who puts a lot of pressure on him, demands that he is perfect, is making all the decisions, is hypercritical, cold, punishing, acts like a parent, a figure of authority or a manager. He also doesn’t like someone either too adventurous, immature or unreliable or either too traditional, controlling, structured, he needs a balance of both.  negative capricorn, sagittarius, saturn, taurus, aquarius

GUNWOOK

Personality: queen of wands, 7 of swords, the high priestess

He could be a bit impressionable and naive in relationships, because he tends to be attracted to tricksters, people who hide their true self or true intentions, who appear to him as very charismatic and over the top, could love bomb him. People with narcissistic tendencies, who could try to gaslight him so they have him under their influence. People who talk a lot of BS, who lie or distort the truth, exaggerate things to make themselves appear more impressive. People who can be domineering and arrogant, who don’t take no for an answer.  negative sagittarius, leo, gemini, cancer, scorpio

Appearance: king of cups, queen of swords, 10 of pentacles

He is easily impressed by status, money or a strong, intimidating aura. Someone who could even look a bit fierce, cold, mean, but who has very magnetic intense eyes. A touch of darkness in their aesthetic. Luxurious brands, jewelry. Could prefer older partners. Someone who looks a bit extravagant or who has a signature sort of look. This could be a specific energy I’ve been picking up for him since the start of the reading.  taurus, capricorn, scorpio

Turn offs: 8 of swords, page of pentacles, 7 of cups

Insecurity, shyness, someone who hides themselves from the world, who is more simple, humble in the way they present themselves and the life they want. Someone outside of the entertainment industry or who isn’t part of the elite. A misfit. Someone insecure who lacks confidence and self sabotage. With the 7 of cups showing up at the end, I feel like this is a clear indication that he is caught up in an illusion. He can’t see what’s behind the splendor of fame, money, luxury…etc. saturn, neptune, uranus

[suzannahnatters]

so I went back to my 2016 re-read of LOTR and found my notes on the stagnation that you see in Lorien - something that has recently bothered me a lot about this setting. from the paranoia and xenophobia of the inhabitants to Galadriel speaking of history as "the long defeat", or her lament that she cannot protect Lorien forever from the ravages of Time, or Tolkien's remark that nobody ever seems to do anything in Lorien, just exists. in 2016 I felt that I was being presented a vision of earthly happiness and virtue as comprised of the mere preservation of the glories of the past.

but this time around I'm more conscious of the fact that for Tolkien, the Elves and the race of Men inhabit opposite sides of a vast existential gulf. the Elves are bound to the world by nature and cannot escape it. yet they are destined to be replaced by Men. the Elves are the Elder Children, they call men the Second-Born, the Supplanters. in the First Age they rebel and leave the Undying Lands to return to Middle Earth out of fierce idolatrous love for their own works and out of arrogant desire to rule their own little anthills in Middle Earth. they eventually need rescuing by the gods at the end of the First Age, which happens, but then some of them continue refusing to return to the Undying Lands, because they still want their anthills. Galadriel is one of these, and in Letter 131 Tolkien states outright that this was a sort of second "Fall" for them.

what all this adds up to is this: in Lorien we see the most Elvish possible community of Elves in Middle Earth, and it is incredibly stagnant, specifically because of who they are, who Galadriel is and why she is here. she is probably the most powerful Elf still remaining in Middle Earth, but she's here two whole ages after last time she was called to leave, and only because Nenya is keeping her and her land in stasis. the Elven Rings were not corrupted by Sauron but Tolkien very much does NOT portray them, at least in his letters, as an unalloyed good. they were, after all, rings of POWER. designed to keep the Elves going in Middle Earth long after their time had passed.

so: not only are the Elves in the Third Age not a great example for humans - as I sort of took them to be last time I read the book - but they aren't even doing all that well at being ELVES. what they MIGHT be a decent analogue for is some older generation, still trying to cling to power over the living for the sake of some dead ideal. this might be a good and true and beautiful ideal; it might be a genuine shame to lose it; but that doesn't mean that it isn't time for the world to move on, and for the older generation to let go and slip away. and that's what Galadriel's temptation is in the Mirror chapter - to seize the Ring and go on having power and ruling her little realm and becoming more and more like "butter spread over too much bread". by refusing it, she doesn't just pass the test not to take the Ring - she also accepts her doom to lose Nenya and all that Nenya has done for her. she accepts that she must diminish and go into the West.

while Tolkien writes these chapters in such a way as to stress the goodness and beauty in Lorien, I think it's super fascinating - and super important to note - that actually, he wasn't writing this realm as something that ought to be that way. and it kind of blows my mind that he was able to grasp such nuance in the book: Galadriel as the best possible representative of a user of the Rings of Power who nevertheless, is limited in how much good she can do, and how durable that good can be, merely by the fact that power is her metier.

[luckhound]

leander, pagan symbolism, and other notes.

ok so people have already brought up that leander is covered in or surrounded by a lot of symbolism. but there’s way more where that came from. idk if someone has compiled all of them in one place but i’m doing it here bc i’m feeling crazy at the moment

first, let’s get the obvious ones out of the way

there’s the ouroboros on his earring and in his charm

it’s a pagan symbol and also symbolizes alchemy. the ouroboros features a serpent eating its own tail and “symbolizes the eternal nature of the universe and the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. The symbol is closely associated with that of infinity, and the two are typically combined” (source)

we can see that it’s combined with the infinity symbol on the charm, which of course has to do with eternity

then there’s the triple moon/triple goddess on his belt buckle, yet another pagan symbol (credit to this post for this insight!)

here’s some info on the triple moon: “The first crescent, the waxing moon, symbolizes new life, rejuvenation, and new beginnings. The middle circle represents the full moon when magic is at its most powerful. Finally, the second crescent moon represents the moon during its waning period. This time of the moon phase is a time that is regarded as the best to send things away, remove them from your life, or finish things.” (source)

there are also white lilies featured in leander’s CG, on his charm and pin, and in the game trailer

surprise! it’s also a pagan symbol!

supposedly, “pagans used white lilies as decorations on May Day. Part of the festivities include young women dancing around the May Pole with ribbons with lilies in their hair. In this setting lilies represent renewed life, health and fertility.” (source)

but wait, there’s more!

like the earth symbol on the chain attached to his lapel pin

another pagan symbol that “is also sometimes used to symbolize Mother Earth. The element of earth is associated with the colors of brown and green, abundance, prosperity, and fertility.” (source) apparently it’s the ultimate symbol of the divine feminine

finally, green is practically leander’s official colour. it’s the colour of his eyes, his magic, and is featured heavily all over his sprite and official art. interestingly, it’s also the colour of the cloaks that his bloodhounds wear

you guessed it - the colour green is tied to paganism

it symbolizes “youth and fertility, evil and envy” and is connected to the season of spring as well as to nature (source). in the bible, green “means immortality, resurrection, growth, prosperity, and restoration” as well as fertility (source)

now onto some things that i might just be reading into lmao

like the gold points on leander’s trench coat, as well as the tiny inverted triangle between his clavicles, which is also featured in one of initial sketches for his earring. this could be the water symbol

again, it’s pagan. and is “believed to have a strong feminine connection, and so it is associated with all aspects of the goddess. The inverted triangle used to symbolize water is felt by some to symbolize the womb and is befitting with this element's feminine association.” (source)

the same source mentions that water is a “healing and purifying element that is connected to the West. Water can be used in rituals involving love and other emotions, and flowing water in nature, such as a river, or the sea, can be incorporated into magical workings that focus on carrying away negativity or other unwanted aspects of your life.”

i included it because it mentions the goddess, the womb (so possibly fertility), and femininity, which you’ve probably noticed by now is a recurring meaning for the other symbols on him

flowing water also brings lowtown to mind, since it’s described as being eroded by some sort of flood

next i’ll bring up leander’s dagger earring again, focusing not on the ouroboros but the dagger itself

in the demo, the mc notes that the earring is “dagger shaped.” but what if it’s not a dagger at all? what if it’s the ankh?

this could be a stretch, but note the hoop at the top of the dagger

the ankh is an “ancient Egyptian hieroglyph means life or living. Over time the ankh has come to symbolize eternal life and immortality to people from many walks of life. In ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, the gods were always seen carrying an ankh, making it a symbol of divinity.” (source)

another reach, but i was looking at pagan symbols that might be a match for the diamond that shows up on leander’s lapel pin and his belt buckle, and came across the unicursal hexagram

this is the weakest link imo, especially because this isn’t a pagan symbol, but i thought i’d add it anyway since it seemed neat

the unicursal hexagram is a “six-pointed star is drawn unicursally, meaning that it is drawn in one continuous line. The hexagram represents the divine and heavenly forces of the universe. In Aleister Crowley's occult order Thelema, a five-petaled flower is placed in the middle to represent the pentacle and the five classical elements.” (source)

some other insights that i wanted to bring up here, though they have less to do with symbolism and are more concrete/tied to the game specifically

first up, as mentioned earlier, green might as well be leander’s official colour... so what about the red items on him? what significance do they have?

there’s this glowing red object attached to his belt, which i can’t help but think looks like an inverted version of the largest spire in eridia. you know, the spire that’s confirmed to be the senobium

also note how the windows in eridia all seem to glow with a similar red light in this CG...

there’s also a (faintly glowing?) red gem on his dagger earring, which looks to be diamond-shaped

what does it mean? what does it all mean?

your guess is as good as mine! but given all the allusions to the divine feminine, the (triple) goddess, fertility, etc. i can’t help think that leander might be in league with some kind of goddess or female deity. we already know that gods exist in some form or another, since ais is connected to a god and kuras is an angel, so the idea isn’t completely off base

did this goddess save leander’s life in the past, hence the constant motifs of renewed life, rebirth/resurrection, immortality, and so forth? maybe the scar that covers a good portion of his body had been enough to kill leander, or just nearly, until she intervened somehow

is he working with her to potentially overthrow the senobium, which we know he dislikes? are leander’s bloodhounds in on this? is the fact that leander’s magic is so powerful due to some kind of pact he has with the goddess?

obviously, i have no clue. i’m just throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks msfjskfjhfd

[cilil]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝓡𝓲𝓷𝓰 vs 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕝𝕤

Over the years I've encountered a few discussions around the question of which work was "greater", the One Ring or the Silmarils. Unfortunately, these discussions were often framed as a sort of "character competition" with the goal to determine that either Fëanor or Mairon is the "better" smith and I don't think that's particularly fun or doing either work justice. So... here are my two cents regarding the comparison between our favorite pieces of jewelry.

⟡ Their natures and purposes.

Firstly, the One Ring and the Silmarils are two different kinds of objects, and by that I don't just mean shape, materials or design.

The One Ring is a tool. It was created to dominate the wearers of the other Rings of Power to aid in Mairon's quest to subjugate and control other rulers in Middle-earth (and not to show everyone what a cool smith he is). Aside from this purpose, the One Ring functions as a sort of amplifier, working with and strengthening whatever abilities its current wearer has. It's impervious to damage and can only be destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom where it was made, though it's possible such a feat could have also been achieved by the Valar, particularly Aulë.

The Silmarils are more akin to a science experiment or passion project. Fëanor was inspired to capture the light of the Two Trees after seeing Galadriel's hair and proceeded to research and experiment how such a feat might be achieved. They were hallowed so no mortal or evil hands could touch them and, after the death of the Two Trees, were the only way to restore them. Like the One Ring, they couldn't be simply broken or unmade and only Fëanor knew the exact process, though it's once again not impossible that the Valar could have done so, particularly Aulë.

⟡ Who was involved.

While the One Ring and the Silmarils were created by Mairon and Fëanor respectively, there was also some involvement from other parties.

As far as the One Ring is concerned, Mairon learned how to make a "ring" like this (his ring is obviously a ring and we've also heard of Morgoth's Ring which is not, so read "ring" as a metaphor/umbrella term here), or an "object infused with someone's power", from Melkor and his process of placing his spiritual essence within Arda. Being a former Maia of Aulë, we can also assume that Mairon learned the craft itself as well as potentially special techniques from Aulë.

As far as the Silmarils are concerned, the light came from the Two Trees of Valinor which were created by Yavanna and the hallowing was performed by Varda.

Thus, we can conclude that in both cases outside influences were involved, namely various Valar, and given how the Valar made the basic components of Arda (the planet itself, water, air, etc), it's pretty much impossible to create anything in Arda that you couldn't argue against being related to some Vala's domain in some way. That is not to take away from anyone's creative abilities or craftsmanship, it's simply a consequence of existing in a world that has demiurgic angels its architects.

⟡ Their historical impacts.

To say that the One Ring and the Silmarils were important artifacts within the history of Arda would be an understatement and to narrate their entire arcs would be beyond the scope of this post, as well as not very interesting.

I believe it suffices to say that both the One Ring and the Silmarils triggered arcs that spanned centuries and essentially dictated at least an entire age and were the main driving force of the plot, with many other events being chain reactions of the original conflicts sparked by the existence of these artifacts. They have influenced countless lives and ultimately led to the final defeat and downfall of a dark lord. Their historical impact was immense.

⟡ Their raw power/potential.

This is a bit of an iffy point of comparison, since power in the Tolkien universe is deliberately designed not to be a clearly quantifiable and comparable thing. Because of this, I'll also stay clear of commenting on the individual power of the creators and focus on power in terms of potency and potential of the artifact.

The One Ring acts, as previously mentioned, as an amplifier and is thus dependent on its wearer. Aside from being unable to be unmade outside of Mount Doom, it also appears to be able to expand and shrink to fit its wearer. When worn by mortals, it has the side effect of making them invisible. A powerful individual who successfully claims the One Ring, as in bending it to their will, could gain full access to its powers and attempt to control the bearers of the other rings; though in order to do that, they would have to overcome the will of Mairon whose essence is contained within the One Ring, a feat that Tolkien has stated to be impossible inside Mount Doom (unless maybe they're a Vala, and I personally think even a more powerful Maia would at least be at a high risk of succumbing).

The Silmarils are, due to their light and their hallowing, effective against evil and can ward off evil creatures or cause them grievous harm, even to Melkor. They're also the only way to restore the Two Trees of Valinor, a feat the Valar were unable to accomplish without them, and Yavanna herself cannot reproduce them in their entirety. Like the One Ring, they're pretty much indestructible and, while they don't seem to have a will of their own or one stemming from any of the parties involved, they have the tendency to influence the fates of those who own them, simply by way of being critically important to various parties and being lusted after. If one wants to take the (discarded) Second Prophecy as part of their personal canon, the Silmarils will also be used to restore the Trees at the end and thus aid in the healing of Arda.

⟡ Their allegiance.

I've touched on this aspect somewhat before, but for this point I'm going to take a quick look at how exactly these objects appear to have allegiances and how these may change or be turned.

The One Ring's true allegiance is Mairon, whose spiritual essence it holds. It serves its other wearers with the purpose of hopefully making its way back to him and will occasionally betray them, showing what could be a will of its own, though so far it's tied to Mairon's. It could be turned to serve another, if one individual possesses the power to do so, but this possibility has remained theoretical in the story and would, even if Mairon was defeated or even (partially) enslaved, still end in his favor insofar as that the new master of the One Ring would inevitably be corrupted by performing such an act. Thus, we can conclude that his safeguards were mostly sufficient and the ring remained faithful.

The Silmarils don't appear to have a will on their own on the same level and don't really have allegiances either. However, thanks to the hallowing certain parties are unable to touch them without being burned and withered; whether the hallowing, as far as the notion of evil is concerned, is tied to some abstract, objective moral standard or is connected in some way, shape or form to the will of Varda is unclear, but fact is that Eönwë's warning turned out to be accurate when Maedhros and Maglor were burned by the Silmarils. I would speculate that, if Fëanor had survived and been around at that time, he too would have been burned and go as far to suspect that this would have happened even if his first attack on Angband had been successful and led to a swift reclamation of the Silmarils, since he was already a kinslayer by that point. Thus, the Silmarils were no longer "faithful" to their original maker and his heirs.

⟡ Conclusion.

So where do we stand after considering all of the above points? I think that the One Ring and the Silmarils are on the same level regarding various aspects. As far as allegiance is concerned, I would say the One Ring has a bit of an edge as it never turned on or became unusable for Mairon; but as far as raw power/potential is concerned, I would say the Silmarils have the edge there because of their global importance in regards to the Two Trees and due to them holding the light of one of, if not a Vala's greatest work.

In my opinion, it really comes down to what you personally find more impressive - a tool for domination or the jewels of fate.

Nevertheless, comparing these two from various angles is fascinating and I frankly find it sad that such an interesting topic is more often than not reduced to some sort of character bashing or gotcha moment; which, in case that wasn't clear already, is NOT the purpose of this post. I'd be curious to hear what other aspects you would highlight and other comparisons you would draw, though would humbly request you respect the aforementioned purpose of this post (and what it's not).

As for the creators, let's say just this: Fëanor has made several great works and Mairon, while we know less about him overall due to the limited narrators of the Silmarillion, is a highly capable and intelligent individual too; one doesn't stay respected within the household of Aulë even after betraying him or become a teacher of Celebrimbor and the Gwaith-i-Mírdain for nothing. Neither of them is "stupid" or "trash" (as far as craftsmanship is concerned, what you think about their morals and personalities is a different story...).

Thanks for reading and I hope you found this post interesting and/or entertaining. I kept it more on the casual side since I thought it sufficient to get the point across and lots of people here know the lore required and don't need extra quotes.

taglist: @asianbutnotjapanese @a-world-of-whimsy-5 @blauerregen @destinyeternity1 @elanna-elrondiel

@just-little-human @urwendii @wandererindreams

[g4yforethan]

comfort

pairing: pietro maximoff x male!reader

summary: reader is injured during the battle of sokovia and pietro does everything to make sure they are okay

warnings: blood, violence, cursing!

being a superhero wasn't easy in the least. you had just become a superhero after learning that a robot wanted to destroy earth and the entire human population. the avengers needed to put a stop to him and asked you and your friends to join them. your friends, wanda and pietro maximoff, grew up alongside you in a orphanage after all of your guy's parents had been killed during a bombing caused by tony stark. after joining groups protesting against tony stark, the three of you volunteered for HYDRA. you all thought you were going to save and change the world. after learning that nearly every volunteer had been killed by the experiment, you hesitated but wanda insisted you do it. after hours of waiting, it was your turn. you went up and touched it. it was the mind stone. it pulled you in and hypnotized you with it's power. you fainted and woke up in your bed. "wanda, y/n finally woke up!" it was pietro. he was sitting at the side of your bed, waiting and hoping that you would wake up as soon as possible. he gave you a hug that felt like forever. you appreciated it. "we thought you had died! what do you feel? do you feel any different?!"

you got up from your bed and tried to walk. you fell straight to the floor. pietro grabbed you and laid you back on the bed. you looked at him as he stared at you and all of a sudden, you heard his thoughts. "i'm so glad he's okay. i wish i could tell him everything." that is what you heard from him. "is everything okay y/n? why are you giving me that face?" you stopped reading his mind and didn't know what to say. "oh um i'm sorry pietro! i was just zoning out." he gives you a smile and goes over to talk to wanda. later that night, you talked to wanda about each other's powers. "i don't know. i think i've been able to read people's minds. i mean that's all i know for now. what about you?" you ask wanda. "i've been able to read minds as well. i've also been able to lift things with my mind as well. speaking of minds, i've been able to read both you and pietro's mind. just don't tell him." you cringed in embarrassment as all you've been thinking about for the past 5 hours is just pietro. only pietro. "oh god wanda what do you know?" "oh nothing. let's just say i think a few people have a crush on each other." you couldn't catch at what she was trying to say. you were confused. "what i'm saying is that i think pietro has a crush on you and vice versa." you jumped up and screamed in delight. you always thought pietro didn't like guys as he always flirted with girls but after what wanda told you, you couldn't believe what she was saying. "you just can't say to him that i told you or that i read his mind okay? let things happen naturally." you agreed and gave her a hug before going to bed.

fast forward a year later, the three of you are now fighting alongside the avengers. you now were able to project energy bolts that emitted the color purple, wanda as well where as her energy bolts emitted the color scarlet red, and pietro ran at superhuman speed. you were in the middle fo the battefield, knocking down ultron bots, guiding innocent civilians to safety when all of a sudden, you are thrown 30 feet back. an explosion was felt. your ears ring so loud, you thought you would be deaf. you couldn't move and blood ran down your body mainly from your head. "Y/N! wanda i'm going to go get him!" pietro yells as he races over to where you were. "y/n, please stay with me!" you were beginning to lose consciousness but could hear everything pietro was saying to you. "i love you y/n. i love you more than you could ever know. just please don't leave me." he starts to cry and holds you in his arm as tony calls for a jet to take you back to the avengers tower.

at the hospital inside the tower, pietro goes with you to make sure you're okay in recovery. after two days, you wake up and see pietro sitting in a chair right next to you. his eyes looked like he hadn't gotten sleep in days. he sees you open your eyes and gets up to see you. "y/n, you're awake?" "hi pietro. how long have i been out?" "it's been about 2 days. you were hit and we all thought we lost you but thank god you're okay." you try to sit up but you still feel weak and in pain. pietro notices this and asks you to wait until you feel better to stand. "you know. i kinda heard what you said before i passed out." "what do you mean?" "i heard you say that you...loved me." you start to notice his face turn red. "uhh i mean you know i um-" "it's okay pietro i mean i've known for a while now." "HOW?! who told?! was it wanda?" "i can read people's minds pietro. i know a good amount. but i love you too..." you move towards him and give him a kiss on the lips. he starts to puts his hands on your face as you do on his shoulders. you two kiss for a few minutes before pulling out. "wow-uh- i really wish you were back to 100% so we could do more than just kiss." you laugh at his comment. "oh get over here pretty boy." you give him another kiss and kiss on his neck. after kissing, he plays with your hair and starts to caress your face. you start to fall back asleep to rest from your injuries. "i love you baby boy." he whispers to you before leaving to let you rest.

[love-in-the-time]

I Get to Keep You: Fourteen/Donna, M for all kinds of things

Title: I Get to Keep You Author: love-in-the-time Rating: M for language, sex, violence, etc. Summary: Donna has a specialized task that no one else is truly capable of accomplishing, since it requires the willing participation of the Doctor. Fourteen/Donna DOMESTIC BLISS.

UNIT hires Donna in the days following the Toymaker's disappearance, signing a contract for a hundred-fifty thousand pounds a year, five weeks vacation, and an annual bonus. She can relax, finally, about money. It's part of why she is so excited to help the Doctor pick a house; he decides on the French countryside, to Donna's delight and enchantment.

Kate Stewart explained that if the Doctor was going to live on earth permanently, it would be safer for all involved if it was as unobtrusive as possible. A French garden with a bit of land around it would be an ideal place for a blue box that would blend gently into its surroundings. She also explains that UNIT has indeed been paying the Doctor for the past seventy years, and he has an Earth bank account with several million pounds in it, just waiting for his use.

So he chooses a pretty country house outside of Montresor, in the Indrois Valley, and buys it outright. It's surrounded by lush green land, with an enormous enclosed garden. There are many more bedrooms than he needs, and the floors are all polished wood, with high windows and charming details everywhere. Donna moves through the house with the same excitement as the TARDIS, exclaiming over the views and the crown moldings and the polished wood floors and the stained glass. UNIT provides him with furniture and a car, all official and licensed, so that he is within easy reach of the agency should it be needed. Rose is enrolled in an international school, where she is boarded with the children of UNIT employees from all over the world, and thrives in the specialized environment of the school. Location undisclosed, of course, to all except the families.

The Doctor, upon closing the contract to the house with Donna next to him, proceeds to hand her a key immediately. "This is your home too, for the rest of your life, just like the TARDIS," he tells her. "Thank you for coming to help me pick it out."

Donna just smiles. "Welcome home, Spaceman," she says.

"Promise me you'll stay here," the Doctor says. "And bring your family with you."

"As often as I can," Donna says.

"And you can come by yourself too," the Doctor says hopefully, half a question. "Just to hang out? I'll take you by TARDIS, of course."

Donna looks over the lovely house and says, "It'll be my joy."

On a Friday in late August, when the Doctor has been settled into the new house for a few months and Donna has spent the last few days with him planting a garden, she is called for a meeting at UNIT headquarters in Paris, which by train would have taken hours from either London or Montresor. But since the Doctor is Scientific Advisor Number One to UNIT and is naturally also invited to the meeting, he of course takes her by TARDIS. "Exclusive transport," he tells her, grinning. "Go man your station."

Still not quite able to believe what her life has become, Donna circles the TARDIS console with a smile on her face. She knows what to do, she can hear the TARDIS hum under her hands, and within a minute she meets the Doctor at the middle of the console, the central line wheezing away as always.

She smiles at him for a moment, and he says, "God, I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you," Donna says. "I can hardly even absorb what's happening."

"Well you'd have to know that UNIT would be interested in you," the Doctor says. "And very interested, too, if that contract is any indication."

"Did you read it?" Donna asks, surprised.

"I helped write it," the Doctor says. "You don't know everything, Donna Noble."

"Is that how I got a hundred fifty instead of a hundred twenty?" Donna asks.

"Oh, I told them a million," the Doctor shrugs. "They wouldn't go for it, of course, but they know who you are. You're needed. You're good. You're fast. You can do anything, and you can help."

Donna nods. "I can help," she says. "That's all I ever wanted to do." She looks down at herself. "What d'you think, am I professional enough for it?" She's wearing an elegant slim navy suit with a soft white blouse.

"You're beautiful," is all the Doctor says. With its new Arrival Alert System in place, the TARDIS gives a bright ding as they land inside a UNIT garage. They are met by escorts who bring them to the conference room where the French delegation is assembled. They are greeted enthusiastically by everyone, and Donna is bemused to find herself in the middle of a true agency meeting, in a clean and minimalist blue-and-white conference room. But she has her credentials clipped to her jacket, and so does everyone else, even the Doctor, still wearing his brown-and-blue checked suit. Everyone is provided with standard issue tablets and there is a screen for everyone to consult on the wall.

They undergo an extensive briefing concerning the most recent events in Europe, and an American consultant joins them via the big screen to discuss international issues. At the conclusion of that, the agents file out in orderly line, leaving Donna and the Doctor with the commanding officer, Major Paulette Marnier.

"We've been informed by Brigadier Stewart in London that you're being directly trained by the Doctor," the major says. "That's better than anything we could offer you anyway, so your protocol has been adjusted and you're free to take your training aboard the TARDIS." She looks down at her tablet. "The next order is the record of Miss Noble as the other TARDIS traveler on our books. She needs to be appointed as a licensed TARDIS pilot. It's quite a sophisticated piece of machinery."

"I'll sign off on that," the Doctor says. He's beaming.

"Right," Paulette says. "I'll need to see Miss Noble alone in my office for a moment, so we are adjourned."

Donna looks to the Doctor, who rises alongside her from the table. "I'll wait for you," he says. "That's what I do now."

The major watches the two of them smile at each other as if there is no one else in the room. She thinks this woman must be extraordinary indeed if the Doctor is attached to her in this way.

Inside the lovely, wood-furnished office of the major, Donna seats herself across from the older woman. "First of all, welcome," Paulette says. "You can't imagine how pleased we are to have you join us."

"I can hardly believe it myself," Donna says. "Thank you. It's been an amazing change."

"I'm consulting with you in private regarding the Doctor," Paulette says. "We've never had him in permanent residence on Earth before, and regardless of his provenance, we are committed to the safety and security of your family since he has decided to live with you." She folds her hands. "For all intents and purposes you are our liaison to him, and in the interest of security we ask that you remain in that position for as long as you are able, even when you retire from UNIT."

"I don't know if he'll stay with me forever," Donna says.

"Oh, I think we can be pretty confident he will be around for a long time," Paulette says, with certainty that is both professional and personal.

Donna doesn't say anything in response, but her expression speaks for her. The mix of hope, fear, and joy on her face is vulnerable. She clears her throat. "Anyway," she says. "Yes, I will serve as permanent UNIT liaison to the Doctor."

"You have a specialized task," Paulette continues. "And a completely unique one, since it requires his willing participation. You're the one who will give this Doctor a reason to retire. Who will ensure that this Doctor, in order to ensure the safety of all other Doctors, will retain his peace of mind. A French countryside garden with a meadow and a view of the river is an ideal place for that, wouldn't you say? But even more important, Donna, is that the said French garden contains you. As often as possible."

"I think that won't be a problem," Donna says, her voice a little threadbare from self control. She's wanted to cry from relief a million times since he's been back and neither of them have had the chance.

"It means that you will receive information about things UNIT doesn't know," Paulette continues. "This information is released at your discretion, of course, we make no presumptions on your personal interactions with the Doctor. You are his closest contact and as such you retain specific rights."

"What does that mean?" Donna says. "That I have no privacy concerning him if necessary?"

"Quite the opposite," Paulette says. "Rather that all of your interactions are privileged, no matter personal or professional. You aren't property of UNIT, you are our most valuable consultant."

Donna has never had power in her life, and now she is humbled by the idea that UNIT seeks to protect and privilege her life with the Doctor, essentially turning their relationship into a state secret. The ultimate safety in history, she thinks. Only they two will know the truth. Even her family will have no access.

It's a terribly lonely idea, she thinks, and only not lonely because she will share it, as she has shared her mind, with the Doctor. The momentousness of the idea is a little overwhelming.

Even in her personal life she hasn't quite come to terms with the fact that she will never actually be without the Doctor again. Sometimes she lies awake at night in her room in France, looking out the window at the blue box parked in his garden, in a corner bursting with flowers and a sturdy old tree whose branches gave shade. It's like walking into Eden when she goes to the TARDIS, a feeling that she hasn't assimilated yet.

"I can agree to that," she says.

"Good," Paulette says. "It's a heavy task, but I have to emphasize the necessity of it. Your discretion is paramount in order to maintain the safety of yourself, the Doctor, and your family. It will be a contingency for your job that you maintain your silence. Any leaks are dangerous for all."

Donna nods. "I understand," she says.

"It's pretty standard for UNIT," The major says. "Well, thank you, it's been a very exciting day for us. We'll be in touch for your next in-person report, and meanwhile you and the Doctor can operate from aboard the TARDIS at your discretion." She stands up with Donna, and gives her a salute. "Good luck. Look after him."

Donna finds the Doctor sitting patiently in the vestibule of the building, reading a book he'd probably had stashed in the dimensional pocket of his coat, a suspicion confirmed to Donna when he sees her and drops it right back into his inner pocket. "We're off," Donna says cheerfully to him, and he offers her his arm. The same escort comes to bring them back to the garage to the TARDIS.

"What d'you fancy?" the Doctor asks. "Lunch in Paris? Say... seventeenth century? We're here anyway."

"Lunch in Paris sounds glorious," Donna says. "Today. Here. Now."

So the Doctor parks the TARDIS on the Rue de Richelieu, where they have an exquisite lunch at Juveniles, one of Paris's best restaurants. It's small, charming, and private. They drink wine and eat duck and steak. They talk quietly and intimately between them, since they can't discuss work, and render each other helpless with laughter over their food. At the end of it the Doctor pulls out a magnetic strip card Donna recognizes. "Oh, the intergalactic bank card," she says to him. "I remember that."

"Unlimited funds," the Doctor shrugs. "Money is a stupid concept."

On the streets of Paris, Donna takes his arm again and says, "You're going to have to wear something besides that suit, you know. People will think you're mad. Or dirty."

"I am one of those, but not the other," the Doctor says contentedly. "But fair point."

"You know I don't care what you wear at home, but for going out in public you can't be in the same thing all the time. It makes you recognizable. We're trying to avoid you being 'that skinny bloke who's always in the same suit,' you know."

"Are there any boutiques you prefer?" the Doctor asks her teasingly. "Anywhere I should go and get my suits?"

"Have you ever thought about ordinary clothes? Like a pair of jeans? You can keep those ratty trainers. Maybe a band t-shirt?"

"A what?"

"You know. A t-shirt. With The Pogues on or something."

"You mean like that Scooby Doo shirt you have?"

Donna laughs. "Yeah," she says. "Like that. Ordinary. Normal."

"Normal's a stupid word," the Doctor says. "Wanna walk along the Right Bank?" He gestures. "The Seine is right there."

"What is it with you and rivers?" Donna asks. Then she grins. "Oh. River Song, of course."

The Doctor smiles. "The Thames, the Loire, the Seine, they're all one to me now as long as you're there."

They sit at a small café on the Right Bank for hours, in comfortable silences interspersed with laughter and conversation. When the sun starts to set, Donna puts her coffee cup down and sighs. "You know we'd better go back," she says.

"All right." The Doctor gets up and offers her his hand instead of his arm this time. Donna looks from his hand to his face and they walk away hand-in-hand along the bank.

Inside the TARDIS they move quietly alongside the console, piloting the ship into stable flight. Donna sighs and steps back, leaning against the railing. She looks contemplatively at the Doctor, who catches her eye when he looks up. "What?" he asks gently.

"Nothing," Donna says. "Just... filling my mind up with the idea that you're here to stay for a while."

He comes to her to hug her close, wrapping her up the way he always used to do. Donna sighs again, burrowing into his embrace and clutching him the way she wants to. "D'you have to be married, Donna?" the Doctor murmurs into her hair.

There's a little silence. Donna wraps her arms more tightly around him. "I wouldn't have if I hadn't lost you."

"Are you happy?"

Another little silence. "I thought we were, living the ordinary way we did. But I always knew I wasn't doing enough. I always knew I was missing something," Donna says.

"Do you love him?"

"In my way," Donna says. "He was there for me when I forgot. He was kind to me and he's been wonderful to me. He accepted me as I am. As I was. I can't speak for now until I see how this new life affects us." She unravels herself from his embrace to look up at him. Again, her face is vulnerable. "These are circumstances all beyond our control, right?"

"I s'pose some of them are," the Doctor says.

"What about Rose?"

"She is your beautiful daughter, and anything that is part of you is something and someone I love beyond measure," the Doctor says.

"But not Shaun?"

The Doctor smiles. "He's not part of you."

"You called him your brother-in-law," Donna says, exasperated but smiling.

"And so he is, as long as he's married to you. Just a useful human label to characterize," the Doctor shrugs. "So! Are you allowed to tell me what the Major briefed you about?"

"Er," Donna says. "She made our relationship a matter of national security. Everything we say and do together is entirely privileged, and UNIT has no access to anything except what we choose to tell them. Nor anyone else without a security clearance."

"That means your family," the Doctor says. He gives her a little compassionate look and says, "That could be lonely, Donna."

"Not with you around," Donna says firmly. "That's my compensation, even more than the money. So you don't go anywhere, or it all means nothing."

The Doctor starts to smile, then, big and delighted. "So now everything between us is only between us by international and intergalactic statute," he says. "That sounds like a lot of fun, Donna Noble. We can do anything, remember?"

"It sounds monumental," Donna says. "It sounds like infinite possibility, even more than it did the first time around."

"You all right with it?" the Doctor asks.

"Yeah," Donna says. "Yeah. I am. It's right."

"Good!" says the Doctor brightly, to disguise his emotions. "Let's go home, eh?"

"Yes, please," Donna says.

So when they land in his garden once more, the little ding signal chiming their arrival, Donna settles back against the railing. "Aren't you going to go back in the house?" the Doctor asks, his eyebrows raising.

Donna shakes her head, smiling a little. "Not yet," she says. "I'm going to my room for a minute. I have some things I want to get."

In an instinctive gesture, he follows her down the hallway to the first door on the right, where the TARDIS always puts the door to where its inhabitants want to go.

Donna's room has been stored in the TARDIS memory banks since Donna left, and has been preserved in the state it was ever since, down to the page in the book Donna was reading on her bed. She opens the door into what was her sanctuary, a room where she had everything she could imagine, everything she wanted, everything she needed, and best of all, the Doctor to make her laugh.

"Remember?" Donna asks, and the Doctor nods wordlessly, as if he could speak around the lump in his throat.

"We slept in that bed a lot," Donna says, pointing to her giant, purple-covered bed with the plethora of pillows and huge plush blankets.

"Yeah," he says. "We did. Best sleep of my life."

"You need more of it," Donna says.

"Maybe I'll get more of it now that you're around," the Doctor replies, and Donna huffs a little laugh.

"Anyway, it's an intergalactic secret whether I sleep or not," the Doctor adds.

"Well, what you need is plenty of good food, and lots of sleep," Donna says.

"And joy, and laughter," the Doctor says. "And you."

"I've got all those things," Donna says, putting her hands on her hips. "I just want to grab a few things from here for the house."

In a few minutes she comes out with her clothes changed into comfortable leggings and a sweater. She has an armful of things, including her giant purple blanket to give to Rose for her bed. She has a box full of jewelry and clothing, and a set of Shakespeare editions she'd hidden away because they were seventeenth-century prints, beautifully and expensively bound. "Just some treasures," she tells the Doctor, who smiles at her proudly. "The rest of it can stay here."

She carries them herself to the TARDIS doors and leaves them just inside so she'll remember to take them with her when she goes back to London. "Meanwhile," she says. "What d'you say, should we crack a bottle and sit in the library?"

"Oh, you know I always loved doing that," the Doctor says.

"Me too," Donna says. "Something about being surrounded by books. Comforting. Like sitting in your imagination."

Inside the TARDIS library, somewhere between a medieval archive, a university library, and a cathedral, Donna sits down in the same spot in front of the enormous fireplace (merrily lit as usual) that she always used to, on the red Persian rug that was always soft and comfortable. A moment later the Doctor joins her with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

"You should think about picking an Earth name," Donna says. "People will want to know even if they call you Doctor."

The Doctor shrugs. "Whatever," he says, filling the glasses and handing her one. "I'll pick something serviceable. It'll take me a while to answer to it anyway." He gives her a sideways smile. "I always liked the way you said 'Doctor' anyway."

Donna clinks her glass with him. "To knowing who you are."

"Hear, hear," he says feelingly, and they both take a good deep drink. Donna grimaces and puts her glass down.

"Did you ever in your life?" she asks next, turning herself to face him.

"What?" He does the same so that they are facing each other, sitting cross legged.

"Did you ever, ever think we'd be here again?" Donna asks, and suddenly, unexpectedly she is crying. She surprises herself and the Doctor with the force of her sobs, burying her face in her hands so that she doesn't make noise.

"Oh, god, Donna--" the Doctor says, leaping forward immediately to embrace her. "God, it's all right, I'm here."

Her arms go around him tightly, a feeling he'd been crying out for since the last time she hugged him, and she buries her face in his shoulder. He lets her cry until his shirt is soaked and she is collapsed against him. She never lets go of him, and he draws his hands in long, comforting caresses up and down the length of her back. "Where have you been?" she asks him, her voice thick with tears. "Where did you go, why did you leave me? I was dying without you."

"I died without you," he says back. "And that's why I'm going to live with you now." He holds her against him so that she knows he means it. "And I am so sorry that you were lonely without me. I'm sorry that your hands were ever empty. I'm sorry that you cried. It was my fault for not listening to you, but I couldn't have lived with myself if you'd died back then."

Donna shivers. "I've died twice now," she says.

"But now you live," the Doctor says, kissing her hair. "Now you live with me."

"I've never been so happy in my life," Donna says, echoing him from days before in their garden, eating dinner with everyone around. That makes the tears flow from his eyes, so that Donna wraps him up again and presses her lips to his cheek.

"You can stay," she tells him. "I need you to stay."

They stay in that embrace for a long time. Finally Donna pulls back and moves back onto the floor. "Sorry," she says. "I've wrecked your shirt."

"Don't you dare apologize to me," he says immediately. "I have lived much too long without you to waste our time with that nonsense."

Donna reaches for her glass of whiskey and drinks deep before she speaks again. "I suspect that's going to happen a few more times before I really feel like I've processed it," she says.

"That's okay," the Doctor says. Then he reaches for her hand. "I don't want to make you cry."

"Way too late for that," Donna says. She watches him kiss her hand again, the same way he had so unhesitatingly done on the ship, and feels a few fresh tears roll down her face. "It's all right." She gestures to his glass. "Drink up," she says. "And then you're going to tell me whatever I ask about. The truth." She holds his gaze. "The truth. Even if it's ugly and horrible. Even if you think it makes you look bad." She sees the way he drains the whiskey at that. "And then another day you're going to tell me about everyone who flew on this ship with you." She picks up the bottle and refills both their glasses. "We're going to get that pain out of you one way or another. A million years my arse."

"There's going to be a lot of crying," the Doctor says. "And I've only just got you back."

"Maybe we have got a lot of grief to work through," Donna says. "Maybe you will have to stop being a crazy Martian for long enough that we can take care of each other. Maybe I am the safest person in the universe to tell your secrets to."

There is a little silence then, when the Doctor works furiously to keep his eyes from overflowing again. "Why do you still want to be my friend?" he asks her.

"Why do you want to be mine?" Donna shoots back immediately.

"Because I love you."

"It's the same for me," Donna says. "Fuck you, Spaceman, you're going to make me cry again," she adds, with a slap to his arm that has no force behind it.

"I watched you die," the Doctor says. "I held you while you died. I've only just got you back and I--" He stops to swallow hard. "I still can't understand, but I am so, so grateful to you."

"I understand," Donna says. "I told you." She breathes deeply. "I'm not going to cry again," she says. "I'm not. I swear." She has to stop, which belies her words. "I shared your mind. You and I were one. I've never had that experience before and I never will again. But we were us. There was no line between you and I, however long or short the time was. I can't go back to living the half-a-life I had without you." A thousand yard stare blooms in her eyes that makes the Doctor feel so desolate. "I stared into an abyss for a while," Donna says finally. Then she seems to gather herself. "And now I don't have to anymore," she says. "So I just have to adjust to that."

"So what did you want me to tell you about?" the Doctor asks next. "No more abyss."

"The Flux," Donna says. "I saw it in your head. The Toymaker mentioned it. You can start there."

The Doctor takes a deep breath, and the whole awful story pours out of him like a lanced boil, the infection of grief draining from him in small measure. Donna listens with her hands in his, alternately wiping away tears and wiping away his tears. When he's finished Donna moves back into his embrace, this time climbing into his lap and holding him tightly. "I've waited fifteen years to do this again," she says. Wordlessly the Doctor clings to her so that they can absorb the comfort and still, the astonishment and joy, of being together again.

"D'you want me to take you back to London or do you want to stay here?" the Doctor asks eventually.

"No," Donna says. She doesn't move for a little while longer, and the Doctor huffs a small laugh into her shoulder, his arms going back around her.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Remember when we went to that little island with the campfire city?" Donna asks. "And we just danced by the fires and ate good food and had a good time?"

"Meridion Ten, yes," the Doctor says. "That was beautiful."

"Can we do things like that from now on?" Donna asks. "You told me a long time ago you had so many places you wanted to take me. Can we just do those things?" He can feel her fingers caressing through his hair in the back, the same comforting feeling from so long ago. She used to do this and it made him feel--

"You'd better stop that," he tells her. "I'll take you anywhere but if you don't let go of me I'm going to kiss you, Donna Noble, and we both know that is not a good idea."

"Oh, it's such a good idea," Donna says, starting to laugh. "It's the best idea. I want to so badly."

"To answer your question," he says, pulling back and away from her so that he doesn't tip her over onto her back and kiss her on the floor of the library the way he used to all those years ago, "is yes. I will take you to all those places and more. And you can bring whoever you want."

Donna slides back onto the floor and sighs. "Good," she says. "I need a nap," she adds. "Between the whiskey and the crying I've worn myself out."

"Where do you want to go?" the Doctor asks, unfolding to his feet. He holds out his hand. "C'mon."

Donna gets to her feet and adjusts her clothes. "I think I'd better go back to London," she says. "No one's home in France, right?"

"Nope," he says.

Donna nods. "Fine," she says, smiling a little. "I'd better go back then." She leads him back to the console room, hand in hand, and the Doctor feels an old magnetism in their contact.

At the console, instead of starting the flight sequence, Donna pulls him down by the collar and kisses him deeply, hard, greedily. He responds immediately, pulling her up against him from knee to mouth. "Yes," he says in between kisses.

"Mm-hm," Donna answers, and kisses him until she's finished, both of them a little out of breath afterwards.

"Don't you dare cheat on your husband," the Doctor says, his hands pushing her sweater off her shoulders with the complete opposite intention.

"I won't, I won't," Donna says. She steps back from him, shrugs her sweater back on, and starts to move around the console.

"Swear on my life I'll fuck your brains out," he tells her as he turns the ignition dials.

"I know," Donna says. She smiles at him, a million watts.

"It's a new body," he continues. "All my faculties are fresh."

"So why haven't you gone and tried them out on some French ladies?" Donna asks cheekily. They circle the console, flipping levers, pushing buttons, always a few feet apart.

"Don't want to try them out on anyone but you," the Doctor says. "Bit of a problem, that."

"Ah, well, we can work on that," Donna says. "Our relationship's a state secret after all." The TARDIS hums into stable flight and Donna steps back from the controls. She leans on the railings and says, "You know, the other Doctor was right. You do need a chair in here."

Instead of answering, the Doctor just puts his hands in his pockets. "Stop distracting me with your chair talk." He regards her with a look full of intent. "What about Shaun?"

Donna nods. "I know," she says. "I have to figure out how to explain it to him."

"Has he asked?"

"If we've had sex? No."

"D'you think he suspects?"

"No," Donna says. "He knows as much as my mum and grandfather could tell him, but some things only I know."

"So you're going to ask his permission?"

"Maybe," Donna says. "I haven't decided." She shrugs. "Lots of new things are happening now."

"Don't ruin your marriage," the Doctor says.

"Spaceman," Donna says, coming to stand right next to him. "I won't do anything of the sort."

"Listen," he says. "Look at me."

Donna regards him with the most amused and affectionate face, and he can't help smiling back. "I want you to know that I want you as much as I did before and more," he says. "If you weren't married you'd never have made it out of your room in my house. You'd always be there."

"I'm always there anyway," Donna says.

"Yes. And I love it," the Doctor says. "And I would shag you in every room of that house if I could. You know that."

"I do know that," Donna says. "Would be an absolute joy." She looks him over with the same kind of approving desire she always used to. The Arrival Alert System dings brightly, and Donna smiles. "Right, then, Spaceman," she says. "I'm going to get some sleep. Because I won't sleep if I stay around you." She kisses him many little times on each cheek and then his lips, and adds, "I'll be back."

"You better come back, Donna Noble," the Doctor says, dropping his hands to pull her hips up against his. "Good night."

He watches her pick up the boxes she'd left at the door and leave, his mind moving at light speed as usual. The first time around they'd worked hard to keep their relationship a secret, for fear of exploitation. This time around UNIT has made their relationship an actual secret, for the same reason and more. There was never any concern of pregnancy or risk of disease, so they were free to do as they pleased then.

It won't be different this time. He can already tell.

In the kitchen of the London house, Rose is sitting at the table reading a book. "Hello, darling, I love when you come home for the weekend," Donna says, dropping a kiss on her head.

"Hi, mum," Rose says. "Where've you been, then?"

"Work," Donna says. "Had a briefing. I changed my clothes on the TARDIS." She indicates the boxes in her arms. "Look. I've brought us some treasures."

"From space?" Rose asks, and Donna laughs.

"From space," she says. "And this blanket is for you."

"Ooh, purple, lovely," Rose says. They go upstairs together and spread it onto her bed, where it hangs onto the floor and pools around the bed frame. Rose laughs and jumps right into it, wrapping herself up. "Oh, it smells like you," she says to Donna. "Like your perfume and your shampoo."

"Oh, good," Donna says. "It's been out of use for fifteen years."

"No, I love it," Rose says. "Now. What's in those boxes you brought?"

So Donna settles herself on Rose's bed, and she and her daughter go through the two boxes, laughing like best friends. Donna puts the Shakespeare books aside for her bookshelf, and she and Rose pull out the jewelry box Donna had kept in her room aboard the ship.

"Ohh, wow," Rose says when Donna lifts the lid. "Oh, mum. Look at this, it's a treasure trove." She picks up a necklace, with an intricate pendant of precious stones. "Where's this one from?"

Donna proceeds to tell her the story of each piece; each pair of earrings, each necklace, what was a gift and from who, why she has a collection of Amaran bangles (a story she tactfully edits as they had been part of an offering made to her for something she and the Doctor had done together that was decidedly not saving the universe), the pendant she'd made of a sapphire from the waterfall of Juno's Tears, and finally the simple gold band, at the very bottom, that the Doctor had put on her hand all those years ago.

"A biodamper?" Rose asks. "Mum, this is a wedding ring."

"Yes, it looks like one," Donna says. "But it suppresses biological signal so you can't be tracked."

"Why is it a wedding ring, though?" Rose asks.

"I was in my wedding dress, you know the story," Donna shrugs. "It made sense at the time."

"Nothing makes sense with the Doctor," Rose says. "That's my favorite part of all of it." Then she gives her mother a knowing look. "But he could have given you anything and he chose a ring. Interesting."

Donna smiles wryly as she replaces the jewelry back into the box and shuts the lid. "If you ever want to borrow any of it," she says, "just ask me." Then she yawns, the tiredness from aboard the TARDIS returning in the wake of her excitement. "I need some sleep," she says. "Where's your father?"

"He's out driving," Rose says. "He says he'll be back around nine."

"Right," Donna says. "I'm going to have a kip and I'll start dinner when I get up."

Sleep, of course, is easier said than done for Donna, and has been for fifteen years. For the last fifteen years she's been a bad sleeper, waking every few hours, restless with fear and anxiety. Now with her memories back, she knows what her dreams are, but they are still terrifying. She'd thought those would subside now that the Doctor is back, but it seems it's her own problem. So as tired as she is, it's often hard for her to get into bed and sleep.

So she crawls under her covers and sighs, resting her head on her pillow and attempting to breathe her way into sleep. She is tired, has been tired for as long as she can remember. Even half an hour would be nice, she thinks.

After ten long minutes of lying there discontentedly, Donna goes back to Rose's room to retrieve her blanket. "I'll bring it back," she says, and Rose just smiles and says okay.

Back in her bed, Donna pulls the purple blanket over herself and sighs. She closes her eyes, and tears slip from beneath her closed lids. The instant relief and comfort she feels under that blanket has eluded her for fifteen years. She wipes at her eyes and turns over onto her stomach. In a few minutes she actually drifts off to sleep.

And dreams. She dreams of terror, of running, of things exploding. And then she dreams of pleasure, vividly, of hands and mouths and tongues and the way she would embrace the Doctor with all four limbs, both of them focused entirely on each other. She dreams of sunrises and vistas of sky, and the sound of the TARDIS wheezing and groaning.

When she does finally wake up, it's dark. She looks over at the clock and it says 2:43 AM. She sits up immediately, looking around herself. Shaun is asleep next to her under their regular blanket, and the house is quiet. Donna gets out of bed softly, so as not to disturb him, and goes down the hallway to check on Rose, who is also asleep in her room. So she goes downstairs to the kitchen since she's missed dinner.

In the fridge there is a container of pasta and meatballs, probably made by Rose when she realized her mum wouldn't be up to cook herself. The dishes are done and the counters are clean, so Donna flips on a low light and puts the leftovers into a bowl to heat up. She sits alone at her kitchen table to eat, thinking, thinking, thinking.

It isn't that she doesn't love Shaun-- she does. In fact in a big way she owes him a lot, since he'd taken on the burden of knowing her without hesitation. With her memories back she'd been able to understand more why he'd been so accommodating. But he knows only as much as Wilf and Sylvia, and would never be able to know everything Donna knows. And now, in the face of UNIT's directive, he would know even less. Donna contemplates the unfairness of that, how it would exclude the person who is supposed to be closest to her from the inner workings of her life. It is a lot to ask of one person, and she thinks guiltily she's already asked so much of him. First when she gave away her lottery winnings, she'd been mad with grief and confusion. Then when Rose wanted to grow into herself and Donna insisted, insisted her last name be Noble and not Temple. He'd put up with her, put up with all of it, and complained to no one. For that alone he deserves her love forever. But for that reason he will also be excluded from any future knowledge of her life and her work.

And now, after fifteen years of an unfathomably heavy burden of embarrassment and shame and tears for her perceived ineptitude, for a breakdown she didn't even have, Donna is ready for some joy and some good work. She's ready to stop seeing herself as someone other people only tolerate. She's ready to stop feeling like she only tolerates herself.

And for all his generosity and easygoing spirit, Donna isn't sure how much longer Shaun will be willing to be on the outside of her life. He's been on the outside for so much of her thought process for as long as she's known him that in the end she has to admit she isn't quite sure what made her marry him. She thinks he will probably come to that same conclusion at some point, if not soon at least in the near future.

"Donna?"

Donna looks up from her bowl of pasta to see Shaun standing in the kitchen doorway.

"What are you doing up?" he asks. "It's 3 AM."

"I didn't eat," Donna says.

"Yeah, you were sleeping pretty good so Rosie knocked up dinner before I came home," Shaun says, coming to sit at the table with her. "I didn't want to wake you. I've never seen you sleep so deeply."

"I needed it," Donna says, taking another bite of her food. "You want some?" She offers him her fork.

"Nah," he says. "I just came down to make sure you're all right."

"I'm fine," Donna says. She smiles at her husband gently. "I actually got some decent rest."

"Where did that purple blanket come from?" Shawn asks. "I've never seen it before."

"It was on my bed on the TARDIS," Donna says, without thinking.

"Oh. You had a bed on that ship?" Shaun asks.

"Well, yes," Donna says. "It was my home for a year." She's gotten herself into it now, no doubt. "I had a very nice room and a nice bed, and that blanket was my favorite." She breathes deeply to steady herself. "I've been told by UNIT that I can't tell you anything about what goes on aboard the TARDIS. Intergalactic directive."

"Oh," Shaun says again, and he is quiet. "So you can't tell me anything you do at work? Or with the Doctor?"

"No," Donna says, aware of how he must feel.

"Oh," Shaun says again. "Er. I guess that's for safety?"

"Yeah," Donna says. "State secrets."

"That's quite a directive," Shaun says. "So this means I'm on the outside of your work, too. Like everything else."

"What do you mean?" Donna asks, in spite of having the same thought.

"Donna." Shaun takes one of her hands. "I have known you for fifteen years. And now I feel like I don't know you at all. You saved the world again, you saved the universe, and I have no idea how you did it or what happened. And now you can't tell me." He lets go of her hand. "I want you to know that I see how the Doctor looks at you. I see how you look at him. And this is one of those major life decisions you've made without me. Again."

"I didn't--"

"I'm not angry at you," Shaun says, holding up a hand. "But you obviously have something very big to do with your life, Donna. Something beyond all of us. Something you can't do tied to me."

"What d'you mean?" Donna asks again. She's glad the light is low so he can't see her blushing-- she can feel her cheeks are hot.

"I mean that I've watched you make life decisions that affect both of us without you ever consulting me," Shaun says. "And I've accepted it. I accept you. I always have."

"So then what are you saying?" Donna asks, feeling her heart constrict all at once.

"I'm saying, Donna, that maybe it's time for me to go. I can't keep feeling like I'm going to be a permanent outsider in your life."

There it is.

Donna doesn't know whether to be happy or devastated. "I don't understand," is all she can say.

"I'm nothing here," Shaun says. "I'm no one. Your mum and your grandad know nothing more than I do, but they're old and they're not obliged to know. You're my wife and I don't know you anymore. You're different."

Donna is quiet. "So was it easier when I was the sad one?" she asks. "When I had to depend on you?"

"No," Shaun says. "I hated seeing you suffer. Maybe you don't believe me anymore when I say I love you. But I love you enough to let you go and do this thing that you have to do with your life." He shrugs. "I've accepted you for who you are as long as I've known you. But I don't know you anymore, and even if it hurts, and it hurts--" His voice splits along the seams a little, "I know it's right. You know it's right."

"I don't know that," Donna says, feeling as though she could cry too. Again. More tears. She's so tired of tears.

"Yes, you do," Shaun says. "I think it's time for me to cut my losses. I can't ever smile at you the way the Doctor does. It's not possible. I don't know you the way he does. I didn't share his mind or his ship. And you had a bed on that ship. Am I supposed to believe the two of you never shared that bed?"

Donna knows for sure she is blushing red now. "I..." she says, and then: "No. You aren't."

"All right then," Shaun says. "Look, Donna, we both know this is better."

"Do we?" Donna asks.

"Everything will be all right," Shaun says. "We can sell the house and split the money and Rose can come and stay with me whenever she wants."

"Keep the house," Donna says. "You can have it. We don't have to sell it. It's yours."

Shaun nods silently. "Fine," he says. "That's good too."

"It's the one thing I did right by you," Donna says unsteadily.

"No," Shaun says. "You gave me a child. You made me happy. Now things have changed in ways that none of us could anticipate. But you can't think I haven't seen the two of you in the garden, or when you sit up late at night in the living room just talking. You can't think I don't see that. Where does that longing come from?"

"I can't explain it to you," Donna says.

"I know, your job."

"No, it's not that," Donna stops him. "It isn't work. I couldn't explain it to you before, because I didn't remember. Now I think I understand it even less, because he was gone for so long and he came back for me, and I never expected--" And she is crying, just quietly, because she is so relieved. An unexpected relief. "I never expected any of this. I never asked for any of this."

"So don't you think it's time for you to ask for what makes you happy?" Shaun asks. "If it isn't me, or it can't be me, why would I hold that against you? In the face of all this... space work you do? This is all so much bigger than us. And you are so clearly needed, by the Doctor and by our planet. And we had no idea until now."

Donna lowers her face into her hands.

"It's time to stop being ashamed," Shaun says. "I'm sorry that things aren't going the way you expected but you should know by now that they never will. And I just can't take that kind of danger or that uncertainty."

"I understand," Donna says from behind her hands. She picks her face up. "I said the same thing to him when I first met him."

"But then you spent your life looking for him," Shaun says. "And the two of you keep finding each other in this vast, stupid, unfathomable universe."

Donna nods wordlessly, more tears falling.

"And I've seen you cry so much over these fifteen years," Shaun says. "I've never once seen you have any relief from it and now I think you do." He sighs. "I know you, Donna, or I did at one point. I see the weight off you. I see the way you actually smile with your eyes now. I see how you are different. And because I love you, I want only what will make you happy. Can you want the same for me?"

"I always did," Donna says. "I always did. I never wanted to hurt you or exclude you."

"I believe you," Shaun says. "None of this was your choice, I believe you on that front."

"And I never, ever cheated on you," Donna says.

"I believe that too," Shaun says. "You hardly know which way is up at this very moment. I can't imagine you'd want to go shag some alien bloke when you've had your life upended again."

Donna wipes her eyes. "I'm sorry," she says.

"I know," Shaun says. "You just have to see if from my perspective. I've been on the outside the entire time. I've done my best and so have you. But this is bigger than all of us." He smiles a little painfully. "I thought I knew what you looked like in love, but now... I really know. And I can't be part of it."

"Okay," Donna says. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Shaun says. "But I can't do this life. We have a child we need to keep safe. I can't be shuttled back and forth between two houses and watch you look at that man like there is no one else around you. I see you. There's nothing for me here. So it's time for me to just... have a life I can accept. I'll drive my taxi and I'll do whatever it takes to make a life for myself."

"You won't be alone," Donna says. "I can help you."

"I don't want your help," Shaun says. "I want you to go and do what it is you need to do. That will be the way you pay me back for all these years. Fulfill your purpose. You married me because you didn't know better. Now you do. So be free."

"Is this really what you want?" Donna asks.

"Yes, I think it's right," Shaun says. "We can sit down and tell Rose tomorrow morning so she has the weekend to absorb it before she goes back to school."

"Oh, god," Donna says. "I think this might be the worst night of my life."

Shaun smiles a little bittersweet smile. "No," he says. "That's already happened to you. This might be the best thing that's ever happened to us as a couple. To just... not be one anymore."

So Donna takes her pillow and blanket from the master bedroom and goes to sleep in the spare bedroom, her bowl and cup in the sink unwashed. Shaun stays in the master suite.

In the morning over breakfast they sit down with Rose together and explain what they'd talked about. After her initial surprise, Rose's face turns sad. "And there's no way you can see to work it out?" she asks her father.

Shaun shakes his head. "I can't live like this," he says. "I need stability and I need safety, and as long as I am here, I will have neither of those. And I won't even be allowed to know what your mum does for work. It's too much."

Tears fill Rose's eyes. "Are you sure?" This is to both her parents.

"I think so," Donna says. "I'm sorry. But I think so."

"So what will happen next?" Rose asks.

"I'm going to move to France permanently," Donna says. "And your dad will keep the house in London, and if he decides to sell it, he can. Wherever he goes you'll have a home with him, and you always have a home in France with me."

"Where are you going in France?" Rose asks. "With the Doctor?"

Donna nods. "It's my other home," she says. "Well... it's my home too."

"Does the Doctor know?" Rose asks.

"No," Donna says. "But I will talk to him. He's coming to take you back to school on Sunday."

As it turns out, Donna is not home when the Doctor arrives to bring Rose back to school. She's out at the supermarket, and Rose is big-eyed and anxious when the TARDIS wheezes and groans into the back garden. She gives her father a huge, tight hug. "I love you, Dad," she says. "I'll always love you and I support your decision and I will always be your child no matter what."

Shaun tears up at that. "Thank you, darling. I'll see you when you come home again?"

"I'll be back," Rose promises. "I'll be around. You won't be alone."

"Your mum said that too," Shaun says. "Go. I love you. See you next weekend."

Inside the TARDIS Rose hugs the Doctor too. "You look less than chipper," the Doctor says. "You all right?"

"Yeah," Rose says. "Just thinking about something I can't change." And she says little else until the TARDIS lands with a smooth thump in the side courtyard of the UNIT school campus.

"Thank you," Rose says, gathering her things. "I'm coming home next weekend, if you want to get me. I can always take transport."

"The other kids will be jealous if they see you traveling by TARDIS all the time," the Doctor says. "I'll be back on Friday. Behave yourself."

"Never," Rose says, smiling, and walks off the TARDIS back to school.

For the next week, Donna operates awkwardly around Shaun, moving into the spare bedroom and going to London UNIT headquarters on the tube every morning instead of in his taxi so they can start their work day together. They have small conversations with no malice or arguing, just sadness. Donna comes home to an empty house, and Shaun starts staying out later to drive, so they miss each other in the mornings and evenings.

After the first awful night, when Donna sobbed into her pillows for a while after, she begins to accept that this is a time to move forward. She didn't know what she'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't for Shaun to decide to leave.

But then what? she thinks. I would have been wearing two wedding rings? Or sleeping with both of them? Or cheating on my husband? Or what? She honestly doesn't know. What she does know now is that she's free. It's terrifying to be standing at the precipice of everything she wants and needs. She isn't sure she's brave enough to take it for herself. She contemplates just being alone, and almost right away has to let the thought go, because it's too late for that. And the thought of being without the Doctor again makes her heart tighten painfully and constricts her breath.

So that next Friday, when Donna has been texting with Rose all day to arrange her dropoff in London, the Doctor comes to collect Rose from school. She still has the same look of worry on her face, and the Doctor frowns a little.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asks.

Rose takes a deep breath. "I wanted to ask you something, but it's personal."

"Well, you are my favorite niece, and I'll decide what's too personal," the Doctor says.

So Rose just decides to ask it, no hesitation. Better not to. "Do you love my mum?" she asks.

"Well, of course," the Doctor starts, but Rose holds up a hand.

"Are you in love with her?" Rose clarifies.

"Oh," the Doctor says, his hands stilling on the console. "Er, I'm not sure that's--"

"I mean it," Rose says. "I need to know."

"She is married to your father," the Doctor says, resuming the flight sequence with a grimace. "I would never come between that."

"My parents broke up last week," Rose says, and the Doctor freezes. "So she didn't tell you. I thought not. I was wondering where you were."

"What?"

"My father decided he doesn't want this life and they broke up," Rose says. "I think they did the right thing."

The Doctor would be lying if he denied the painful pang of desperate hope and wanting he felt at those words. Instead he just clears his throat. "Is your mum all right?" he asks.

"You're glad," Rose says. "I can tell. You weren't happy she was married."

"Don't be angry with me," he says.

"No," Rose says. "I'm not angry. It's just another big thing we didn't expect. I think my dad is right. And I think my mum is right. So really, this is good."

"Are you all right?" the Doctor asks, knowing he should have asked this first.

Rose smiles a little. "There you are," she says. "You asked about my mum first. That alone tells me what I want to know."

The Doctor sighs. "Well," he says. "Let me get this ship in flight and I'll drop you home. And I'll talk to your mother. If she'll let me."

He enters the Noble house tentatively to find Donna standing in the kitchen, wearing a soft cream-colored dress and slippers. She looks like home. "Hello," she says, waving her spoon. "Staying for dinner?"

Rose kisses her mother on the cheek and disappears up the stairs with a meaningful look at the Doctor, who misses it because he's looking at Donna.

"I could do that," he says. "If you want."

Donna gestures to the kitchen table. "Sit," she says. "Thanks for bringing her home."

"I always will," he says. A short silence elapses. "I heard what happened." He sees Donna's shoulders drop, and she bows her head a little.

"Right to business, aren't you?" she asks him, turning around. "How did you know?"

"Rose," he says.

"Ah, I should've known."

"She loves you, Donna, she wants you to be happy."

"Well," Donna says, turning the heat down on her stovetop. "She told you Shaun doesn't want to be married anymore."

"Do you?" the Doctor asks. "That's the real question. I know you."

Donna takes a moment before she answers. "I don't," she says. "Can I tell you the truth?"

"It's all I ever want from you."

"I would never have married him without losing you," Donna says. "And if I have you back I have what I want, so in a way, it's not so bad." She watches the smile grow on his face, like a break of sun through clouds. He gets out of his chair, takes the spoon out of her hands, puts his hands in her hair, and kisses her. It's a kiss of memory, because they both know this in their bones. And it's a kiss for a new beginning, because they know that too.

"You'd really leave him?"

"He left me," Donna says. "He said he wanted to go. And that he didn't know me anymore, and that he didn't want the life. So I'm letting him go. I want him to be happy, and if he's not happy here, I want him somewhere he's happy."

"So what are you going to do next?" he asks.

"Thought I'd go home with you, didn't I?" Donna says, and this time she's ready for him when he kisses her.

"Are you sure you don't want me to fuck off to France forever and you can work it out?" he asks her, hoping, hoping, hoping.

"Don't you dare," she says. "I would die without you. Knowing what I know. How could you even ask me that? Fuck's sake." She says it with no rancor, but only half-teasing. She moves to stir the fragrant pot of beef mince she'd been working on for a pie. The Doctor winds an arm around her waist.

"Smells nice," he says. "When are you coming home, then?"

Donna smiles in profile, adding a bit more fresh thyme into the mix. "I'll wait til Shaun gets in from driving and I'll bring my things."

"What do you really need from here, anyway?" the Doctor asks. "You have clothes on the TARDIS."

"It's tacky not to move my things," Donna says. "Too much of a reminder. Besides, I always make sure he has a hot dinner when he's out late."

"Wife material, Donna Noble," he says, and she gives him a sidelong look.

"You have no idea," she says, and the tone of her voice makes it something much more naughty and fun. "I'll tell you what you can do," she says, "is not be here when Shaun gets here. Just wait for me on the TARDIS. I won't take long. Rose wants my books and knickknacks so I'll just empty my side of the closet and pack my jewelry."

Shaun gets home around eleven, the Doctor having disappeared back into the ship an hour before, so that Donna is alone in the living room reading. "Hello," Shaun says when he comes in. He sounds normal. Donna smiles a little.

"Hi," she says. "Dinner's in the oven warming up if you want it."

"What's on?"

"Beef mince pie," Donna says. It's an imitation of a conversation they've had a million times, but it's lost its savor.

"Sounds lovely."

"I thought I'd move my things out tonight," Donna says next.

"Oh," Shaun says. "Yeah, okay. Do you want help?"

"Nah," Donna says. "I've got it in hand."

"Are you getting picked up?" Shaun asks.

"Yeah," Donna says, and leaves it at that. "I just wanted to be sure you got home okay before I left. Didn't want to leave Rose alone."

"Ah, she's big, she'd be fine," Shaun says. He goes to the kitchen to dish himself up a plate and Donna goes upstairs to get her bags and goes to Rose's room with her purple blanket. She covers Rose gently, so as not to wake her, and goes downstairs. At the bottom of the staircase she looks back towards the kitchen. "Shaun?"

"Yeah?" he says, looking up from his plate.

Donna rushes into the kitchen and embraces him hard. "Thank you," she says. "I know you don't think I do, but I love you so much. You have no idea how you saved my life."

Shaun hugs her back and she feels his breath hitch. "I'll miss you," he says.

"I know, me too," Donna says, her own voice coming apart at the seams. "You will always be Rose's father, and you'll always have whatever you need. I will never let you go without. I'll make sure." She kisses his cheek, and holds him tight.

"Okay," he says. "I hope you're happy in France, Donna, I just want you to be happy."

"Me too for you," Donna says. She takes a few fortifying breaths before she lets go of him, which hurts much more than she expected, and wipes her eyes. "Well. I'm off, then."

"Yeah," Shaun says, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "Be careful."

"Bye," Donna says, her face so sad. But as she takes her bags towards the back door to the garden, where the TARDIS is waiting, she feels herself start to smile. Even through the tears, the joy of knowing that she'll be somewhere she's known and safe and loved, it's all priceless. It's all worth it.

She uses her TARDIS key to get in, and the Doctor helps her move her bags, just like he had fifteen years before. He sees the tears in her eyes and the brilliant smile on her face and gives her a long hug. "Welcome home," he says, the way she had all those months ago when he found his house.

"Oh," Donna says when he lets her go. "That was so much easier than I thought it would be. Thank god."

"Because it's what's supposed to happen," the Doctor says.

"Innit," Donna says, in her very Donna way. "Let's go to France, Spaceman."

"Let's go to France," he agrees. They circle the console in their usual way, and within three minutes they are landed in his back garden in Montresor. It's nearly midnight, so they decide to light the fire pit and sit out in the balmy night air for a while. There isn't much around so the stars are plentiful, and Donna settles herself on one of the loungers.

A free woman, she thinks. That is what I am right now. It wasn't Shaun who was the trap, of course, it was her own memory loss, but still, she feels like something very good is beginning. And though she feels horrible for hurting Shaun, she knows he is right when he says all of this is bigger than them. And though she had never expected him to leave her, she couldn't blame him. She knows him well enough to know that he wouldn't have said anything if he didn't really feel it.

"You all right?" the Doctor asks her, pulling his chair next to hers.

"Yeah," Donna says softly. It's actually true. "It was time."

"it was time," he says. "It was more than time." He takes her hand. "I'm so glad you came home. I was hoping you would." He stops himself. "I mean, I wasn't hoping you'd get divorced, but I was hoping you'd stay with me instead, and I--" He stops again. "Sorry. I'm saying that completely wrong."

"I know what you meant," Donna says, smiling. "Spaceman."

The affectionate nickname has always stuck with him. "I was thinking about something," the Doctor says after a while. "Why this face? Why this me?"

Donna nods. "Any breakthroughs?"

"Yeah," the Doctor says. "I know why this face is back. You were right. I wanted to come home, but you are my home. I wanted to be that man that you loved back then, so here I am again. This is the face you know. It was for you. All of it."

"D'you know what I love?" Donna asks him by way of an answer. "The way you say 'my Donna.' Makes me so happy. Even the not-thing knew about that."

He just smiles. "It's true," he says, shrugging as if it's the most well-known fact in the world. "You are. You always have been."

"I think something is happening here that has never happened before," Donna says. "I think that I am getting exactly what I want and need at the same time for the first time in my life."

"It's all yours," the Doctor says. He sits up. "Hey," he says. "Grandad gave me some biscuits last time he was here, do you want some?"

Donna smiles again at how he calls Wilf "Grandad" now, like real family. "Let's have some," she says. "Why not?" He brings her back a box of Jaffa cakes and another of Chocolate Hobnobs, and Donna laughs. "The most basic British biscuits to exist," she says. "You like a Hobnob?"

"Love a Hobnob," the Doctor says. "Simple and delicious."

"Well," Donna says, taking a Jaffa cake from the box, "we are in France and as such, we will be eating French pastries just as often as these little things." She turns onto her side on the lounger to look at him as he sits down next to her again. "We'll go walking, and we'll take little trips when I have holiday time, and we'll just be." She takes a bite. "It's all I ever wanted anyway," she adds. "Mm, raspberry jam."

"What'll I do while you're at work?" the Doctor asks. Donna smiles with her whole heart at this.

"Oh, will you miss me? Whatever you want except running off to fight aliens," she says. "Don't you have any hobbies, Spaceman?"

"Not Earth hobbies," he says.

"Ah, so something for you to explore," Donna says. "Even the weird stuff. No one has to know what you do."

The Doctor starts to laugh, looking at her earnest face. "That sounds like fun."

"Yeah," Donna says. "You can... tinker, you know? Build things. Paint things. Pick up the guitar. Something like that."

They stay out in the garden talking until nearly sunrise, when Donna drifts off in the middle of a sentence, finally tired. The Doctor, who has different needs for sleep than humans, wakes her up to go get into her bed. "It's Saturday," he says. "You can sleep as late as you want."

Donna's room in the house in France is her own now, furnished with a big comfortable bed, an armchair, tall, rounded airy windows covered with white curtains, and plush rugs. She climbs into her bed with relief and buries herself in her blankets, so that she looks like a little kid peeking out from the covers. "You gonna join me?" she asks him.

"To sleep?" he asks, and shrugs. "Sleep is boring."

Donna smiles immediately, both their faces full of intent. "All right," she says. "I'll be boring for a while." She's still wearing her clothes from the night before, so she discards them piece by piece and tosses them on the floor. "See you, Spaceman. Join me or don't, but I'm definitely going to sleep."

He pulls the blankets down off her to get a good look at her, and kisses her. "I'll never let you sleep like this," he says. "So good night. Or good morning. Come back to me when you're rested."

"Your self-control is something else," Donna grumbles good-naturedly, laying back on the bed without covering herself back up.

"Er, it's not," he says. "It's killing me. But you need to sleep."

"You need to sleep," Donna says.

"Later," he says. "I'm going to go watch some telly and make breakfast. You eat whenever." And with another kiss, his thumb making a short, electric circle on her right nipple, he goes back downstairs. Donna rolls over onto her stomach and actually sleeps.

She finds him at noon in the garden sort of just looking off into the distance. She comes outside in just her bathrobe and slippers, joining him on the chair next to him. "What're you looking at, then?" she asks, and he seems to come out of deep thought.

"Nothing," he says. "Slept well?"

"Never better," she says, exhaling contentedly. "Haven't slept in fifteen years."

"Right," he says, with a laugh of recognition.

"Nice day," Donna comments.

"Gorgeous," he says, looking at her instead of the sky. "Want a coffee?"

"Yes," she says. "Would be amazing."

So he gets up and brings her out a hot coffee with cold milk, just like she likes it, in a flowered mug she'd bought at a shop in their little town. He hands it to her and kisses her forehead so that she tilts her chin up to him to kiss him properly. "Don't spill it," he says to her against her lips.

"Fuck off," Donna says, smiling, skimming her tongue along his bottom lip. She puts the mug down on the little glass topped table next to her. "What do you do on Saturdays, then?" she asks.

"That question has a different answer now that you're here," the Doctor says.

"Oh," Donna says, interested.

"For example, if you weren't here, I might just spend the day doing nothing," he says. "But since you're here, maybe we should take a little trip to Prague or something. See some castles? Have lunch on a tropical island somewhere?"

"Ooh, Spaceman, you do know how to talk to a woman," Donna says, laughing.

"We also don't have to go anywhere, given that robe you're wearing," the Doctor says, giving her a good once-over. "That's all you're wearing, Donna Noble."

"That's true," Donna says. "Get used to it. I live here now and I never had the chance to just be naked. I always had people around me."

"Oh, you'll never hear me object," he tells her. "You're home. I'll have you in every room of this house."

Donna just regards him contentedly, full of desire and happiness. "So," she says. "Did you think any more about that Earth name?"

"No," the Doctor says. "Do I have to?"

"People will ask," Donna says. "They might accept Doctor as a nickname, but you need some kind of name for your registrations and everyday interactions."

The Doctor shrugs. "What are you going to call me? Are you going to stop calling me Doctor?"

"Not unless you want me to," Donna says. "But for other people it's just handy. I'll tell you what; you should ask Rose. She picked her own name. You should see what she says."

"I'll do that," he says, smiling.

"Right," Donna says, draining the last of her coffee. "I'm going for a shower." She gets up and says, "Are you joining me, Spaceman?"

He grins at her. On the TARDIS they never cared to stop their conversation or interrupt themselves for something as trivial as bathing, so the Doctor would often sit by her bathtub or outside her shower, or they would keep a video link open so they could keep talking. "C'mon, then," he says.

Donna has her own bathroom now, since the floor with her bedroom has Rose's room on it and no other. The Doctor's room is on the third floor, a sprawling master suite with an attached bathroom that was nearly as glorious as the one Donna had made for herself on the TARDIS. Her own bathroom is large and airy, with a tub and a shower, and Donna drapes her robe over the towel rack, standing there naked and adjusting the shower to her liking. It's not like the TARDIS which knew her preferred temperatures and which soaps she liked. It's ordinary, and comforting, and the Doctor seats himself on the counter the way he always used to, just watching her with a smile.

“We’ve got to find a little café,” she says, “to be our spot.” She steps into the shower behind the glass door. The glass begins to steam up from the heat of the water so Donna swipes away a swath. “Can you fix it?” she asks. “I can’t see you.”

The smile on his face grows even wider and he pulls out the sonic to press it to the glass so that it won’t retain stain or steam. “Better,” Donna says, as she reappears from behind the steam. “Didn’t have that issue on the TARDIS. Anyway.” She gives him a smile in return. “What was I saying?”

“There’s a café in town,” the Doctor says. “That can be our spot.”

"All right," Donna agrees. "I should work out a schedule with Shaun for when Rose is here. She can decide, of course, but I want to make sure he doesn't miss out on her."

"Her dorm mother says she's coming out of her shell a lot," the Doctor says. "She's a lot happier."

Donna nods, sighing. "Yeah," she says. "She's so smart, but she got tortured by those boys at school and it got in her way."

"You'd never know she had any issues from her grades," the Doctor says.

"That's my girl," Donna says. She lathers her hair with shampoo.

"Now this is what I missed," the Doctor says, watching her as she moves around the shower.

"Ah, you were always the best company," Donna says. She scrubs herself clean, her hair glossy with conditioner. "When are you going to take a shower?" she asks.

"Do I stink?" he asks.

"No, but what's the standard?" Donna asks.

He smiles. "I'll shower every day if it makes you happy, but it's not necessary for me."

"Martian," Donna says, stepping under the water to rinse herself off. She turns off the water and steps out of the shower, her hand out for her towel. The Doctor doesn't move. Donna smiles.

"Are you trying to get a look at me naked or something?" she asks.

"Always," he says. He wraps her towel around her and pulls her up against him.

"I'm all wet, Spaceman, you'll get your clothes wet--"

"Don't give a fuck," he tells her, with an openmouthed kiss that proves his words. He follows a bead of water with his tongue, down her neck to her right breast, and Donna inhales. "Don't even know why you wear clothes around me," he adds. "Especially now."

"Told you, I always had people around me," Donna says, her voice breathless. "Oh, Doctor."

"You want me to pick an Earth name when you say 'Doctor' like that?" he asks, and Donna bites her lip. "You always said it so nice."

"Oh, I'll call you whatever you want," she says, watching him use her towel to dry her body for her. She tilts her head to the side, regarding his bent head. "Having fun?" she asks.

"Mm," he answers, flicking a look in her eyes and going back to massaging the towel along her hips and waist.

She thinks that he looks thin, and tired, but less than he did before. She thinks that even though he is thin and tired, he is filled with a kind of wanting that he's clearly suppressing to the best of his ability. That must be hard work, she thinks. "Oh," she says a moment later, when she feels him rub the towel between her thighs. "You'll never get that dry around you, Spaceman," she tells him, and his eyes snap to her face.

"Good," the Doctor says. Donna gasps again, rising on her toes a little bit when he dips his fingers between her legs. Then he sticks those fingers in his mouth, like he's been in a jam jar, and says "Still delicious."

"You remember," Donna says.

"As if I could ever forget," he says. "I've waited a long, long time for you, Donna."

"Then how long are you gonna make me wait for you?" Donna asks.

"I didn't want to move too fast," he says. "I've only just got you back. Couldn't live with myself if I fucked it up."

"Impossible," Donna says immediately. "You're fucking stuck with me, Spaceman. I'm not going anywhere."

He takes the towel back from around her and rubs his face with it. She gives him a look of scandalized delight. "Why don't you get dressed and we'll go and shop?" he says. "It's Saturday, we should party. Get a bunch of wine and pastries."

"You're no fun," Donna says.

"Oh, I'm so much fun," he says. "I think I made you a promise, something about every room in this house?"

"You did," Donna says.

"But I also promised Grandad some of the green beans from the market, and they're only here today," the Doctor says. "Otherwise he has to wait a week."

"Oh, no, a week," Donna teases, but she is so moved by his care for her grandfather. They're thick as thieves, the two of them, and though the Doctor looks younger he is not. The combination of boyish silliness and wonder alongside the soldier's broken heart in both of them makes them comrades. They can relate, having seen the worst of the worst and still believing in the best. She loves them both to overflowing for it.

"Fine, we'll buy some wine and pastries and beans," Donna says. She turns to go without her towel and the Doctor follows her immediately. In her bedroom he turns her to face her full-length mirror so she can see herself. He stands behind her, his hands on her hips.

"I won't make you wait forever," he says, and points at the mirror. "Watch." And he dips his fingers back down between her legs and doesn't stop until Donna is begging for more and mercy at the same time. "See?" he tells her. "Look at how you look. That's you and me and this is what we're supposed to be doing."

"Yes, yes," she moans. "I want it."

"It's yours," he says. "For as long as you want it."

Donna is pretty sure she can hardly stand for pleasure, but he's holding her up so she won't collapse. "That'll hold you over," he says to their reflection. "Get dressed," he adds. Donna reaches up to kiss him hard, to make him fuck her then and there, but even though he is ready for her (has been ready for her for millions of years) and even though she gets a hand down below his belt and she knows exactly what he likes, he steps back from her.

"So you're just going to edge me all day?" Donna asks.

"Trust me," he tells her, and licks his fingers again. "Put your clothes on, Donna Noble. Otherwise we're getting nothing done today and we need food." Donna grumbles about responsibilities, but gets dressed, the Doctor sitting contentedly on her bed watching.

They are about twenty minutes outside of the town proper, along a bright country lane lined with fields on either side. Donna has bags and a basket, a hat and a pretty blue dress. The Doctor offers her his arm and they make the walk together for a leisurely half-hour.

The farmer's market is in the square of the town, and there are various stalls set up. Donna makes the obvious jokes about the cucumbers and corn on the cob but only so the Doctor can hear since she knows the TARDIS translation circuit means everyone will be able to understand her. Donna notices him squinting in the afternoon sun and hands him her sunglasses. They get a generous portion of green beans along with the rest of the produce and then they stop at the butcher for chicken, the boulanger for fresh bread, and the patisserie. Donna picks out a bunch of tarts and pastries, as well as a big bag of freshly ground coffee beans.

On the walk back Donna takes his hand instead of his arm, and the Doctor takes two of the bags from her so that she's only carrying the basket. "Should we bring him the beans or have him over?" Donna asks.

"Tomorrow he can come over for dinner," the Doctor says. They walk quietly for a while in the warm sunshine. These moments are so ordinary for a human, but there is something golden about it for both of them; aware that in the broad, unfathomable scope of time and breadth of the universe they are on the same path again. And that path is a sunny country lane in one of the most beautiful places in the world, just them. The elegant simplicity of it convinces him this is the right place to be.

Instead of dinner, they eat pastries in the garden like two kids, drinking coffee and laughing over everything and nothing. Afterwards the Doctor keeps his promise about every room in the house (except Rose's room). They end up in his bedroom, Donna asleep with an arm flung over him while the TV plays a movie. The Doctor sits at his ease in a robe, something he's got to try and become accustomed to, his legs outstretched and his ankles crossed. He has his glasses on, providing him subtitles and analysis and tracking his surroundings as he watches. In his left peripheral the glasses keep a running track of Donna's vital functions and sleep pattern.

After an hour or so he moves and Donna makes a sleepy noise of discontent as she feels him start to shift. Her eyes open. "Don't go," she says. "I want you."

The words wrap around his heart like an embrace. "Okay," he says hoarsely, and moves back into the warm spot he'd been in. Donna settles back against him.

“Can’t sleep without you,” she murmurs. She picks up one of his hands and presses his fingers against her temple, then sleepily places hers against his, caressing his cheek as she does so. Instinctively he entrains onto the psychic connection, built of the remnants of their shared consciousness. In the past they had used this connection for sex, among other things, but now Donna just breathes, her sleepiness and contentment in his arms communicated to him without words. So he can feel what she does. She sends him the feeling of sleeping in his arms, so he knows. She sends him little images of them asleep together like a wave of sedative joy. And among all of it is the feeling of wanting, the word stay, the feeling of being protected. And then she sends him a memory of sleepy, easy sex in the dark, aboard the TARDIS in her bed. She drops her hand to wind her arm around him again.

“That too,” he says softly to her.

“Mm-hm,” she says, and her breathing evens out a moment later. He presses three kisses to the top of her head and closes his eyes to see if it works.

When his eyes open again the sun is up, painting stripes of bright light across the polished wood floor. Donna is sound asleep next to him, so he scoots out of the bed quickly and unobtrusively. Just enough time to go to that one bakery on that one street on that one planet that made those moonfruit tarts that Donna loved all those years ago.

Donna's eyes fly open immediately at the sound of the TARDIS wheezing and groaning. She's out of bed faster than she can remember in years, and down the stairs. In the kitchen the Doctor is standing there setting up the French press for two fresh cups of coffee, and Donna nearly skids to a halt. She pushes her hair out of her face, trying to act as though she had not just run down the stairs in a panic that he'd decided to disappear off into danger.

But the Doctor knows her. He gives her a wry, affectionate look and says, "Good morning."

"Morning," Donna says, moving to sit at the kitchen table. "Where've you been, then?"

"Might have been off getting us a little breakfast," he says. He hands her a green paper box from the counter. "Have a look?"

Donna lifts the top and looks for a moment. "Oh!" she says, realizing. "I remember these! They were fruit tarts. From that planet... Alabria. I remember that!" She looks up at him with shining eyes. "Moonfruits! These were so good, weren't they?"

"You remember," the Doctor says.

"Yeah," Donna says. "And no blowing up my head to remember it."

So they eat a leisurely breakfast in the kitchen, and spend the day cleaning and tidying in preparation for Wilf. Around five PM Donna starts to cook. She sets up her Bluetooth speaker and phone and starts to prep and wash. She has filets of chicken, a bag of potatoes, the bounty of haricots verts, and a fresh loaf of bread in the bread box. She puts her chicken in a bowl to marinate, then pulls out a very expensive wooden cutting board. All of her kitchen equipment is top of the line; expensive, high-quality items she'd synthesized on the TARDIS to spare the expense of buying them. She has cast iron everything, chef-quality knives, a stand mixer, a pasta-maker, a waffle iron, everything she ever wanted in a kitchen. She makes quick work of the onions and rinses the beans, spreading them on a baking sheet with olive oil and salt to roast in the oven. She chops fresh herbs, even chiffonades some basil for extra fanciness. In a pan she puts butter, fresh garlic, chopped onions, rosemary, thyme, basil, and tarragon.

The Doctor hears music from where he is standing in his bedroom looking through his top drawer for something he wanted to show Wilf. He looks up from his perusal and follows the sound down the stairs. He goes through the living room towards the kitchen and stops a few paces back. In the kitchen is Donna, dressed in a long green-and-white patterned dress, dancing between stove and counter, her red hair glinting in the light, her hips swaying to the beat. The air smells delicious and comforting. She doesn't notice him, so he stays there for a bit, thinking that he'll never leave this little French outpost as long as she lives.

Partway through a turn Donna spots him and stops, embarrassed at being caught. "Hello, Spaceman," she says, smiling ruefully. She can tell by the silly smile on his face and the look in his eyes he's been standing there for a bit. He always gets that soft-eyed expression when she isn't looking and he thinks she hasn't noticed. "How long have you been standing there, then?"

The Doctor only shrugs and comes into the kitchen, inhaling appreciatively. "The combination of the music, the food, and the beautiful woman in my house just... brought me down here." He melds himself to Donna's body, her back to his front, finally free to be as intimate with her as he pleases. "What's all this?" he asks, resting his hands warmly on her hips as he surveys the chicken sizzling merrily in its herbed butter sauce.

"It is poulet au Provence," Donna says, in perfect French. "And I have the beans in the oven and the potatoes on to boil. So we can go get Grandad when it's just about ready so he doesn't have to wait." She points to the counter. "We have wine, and we have lemons for his water, so besides dessert I think we're pretty set. What do you think?"

"I think that I love you," the Doctor says, pressing a kiss to her head. "I'll go get Grandad and we'll bring you back dessert, deal?"

"Deal," Donna says, and looks up over her shoulder at the Doctor. "I love you too, Spaceman." She puts her hands over his to savor the moment before he moves away.

Half an hour later she hears the Doctor and her grandfather laughing in the garden, the Doctor pushing Wilf's wheelchair along their path to the back door. "Hello, Donna, my love!" Wilf greets his granddaughter cheerily from the door. He's holding a box that turns out to have a strawberry shortcake in it, frosted in fresh whipped cream. Once inside the house, Wilf eases himself into his comfortable chair in the sunroom, and Donna comes to give him a hug.

"Hello, Gramps," she says, smiling. "We got you those beans. It's about twenty more minutes until we eat, so you make yourself comfortable. Do you want anything?"

"I'm going to talk to your Doctor for a while," Wilf says. "If you don't need him."

Donna smiles, flicks an affectionate glance at the Doctor and says, "I never need him for anything, he's all yours." She goes back to the kitchen, humming along with her music.

In the living room Wilf looks around and says, "Looks lovely in here."

"We haven't changed anything since you were here last," the Doctor says.

"I know," Wilf says. "Just homey, that's all. Anyone else here?"

"Nah," the Doctor says. "Don't know if you know what happened?"

"Oh," Wilf says. "Yes, with Shaun. About that. How is she?"

The Doctor sighs, shrugging a little, remembering how she'd looked with her head thrown back in pleasure the night before, wrapped around him in his lap on the sofa where he is sitting. "She's here permanently now," he says. "I think she's going to be all right once the shock wears off."

"She looks happy," Wilf says. "I'm glad she seems to be all right. She sleeping?"

"Now she is, yes," the Doctor says. "She says she wasn't before."

"Yeah, yeah," Wilf says, nodding. "She'd be up most nights until about 4 AM. It made the newborn stage easy with Rosie, though. She was just... awake. She said she had nightmares all the time and that sleeping wasn't restful for her anyway. She refused to take sleeping medicine and just lived with it."

The Doctor looks over his shoulder at Donna in the kitchen, still shaking her hips to the music as she whisks the mashed potatoes into fluffy peaks and adds butter and salt. "My poor Donna," he says. "She's been through a lot."

"She used to say she felt like a refugee," Wilf says. "She blamed herself for forgetting, and she worked really hard to make sure we didn't feel like she was dependent on us in any way. She went right back to work and she married Shaun and soldiered through."

"She must be tired," the Doctor says.

"Not like you and me of course," Wilf says. "But yeah. My girl. She deserves a break." He smiles and chuckles a little. "When she was wee she looked like Little Orphan Annie. Just a head full of red curls like you've never seen before. The other girls used to call her Carrots and make her cry."

"I'd love to see pictures of her," the Doctor says.

"I'll show you some when you take me home," Wilf says. "She tried to cut all her hair off one day but I caught her before she could make the first cut. Sylvia was furious of course, but no harm was done. We asked her why and said she didn't want to be ugly anymore. She was about six, I think."

"My Donna? Ugly?" the Doctor says.

"She was convinced," Wilf shrugs. "She never really got over that hurt, I think. It's always affected her. Ugly and stupid, that was usually her line. And Sylvia was no help, so she never really listened to anyone that told her otherwise."

"I mean, have you seen her?" the Doctor says, pointing towards the kitchen.

"I know," Wilf says. "She's my only granddaughter, she's always been my favorite. She just can't remember." He sniffs appreciatively. "Smell that good food," he adds. "She's got such a talent for cooking." He smiles at the Doctor. "So? How's living with her?"

Wilf can tell by the look in the Doctor's eyes that he's happy. "It's only been a few days of her being here permanently but I never wanted her to go in the first place, so you can imagine how I feel," the Doctor says. He looks as if he could cry from joy again, a look Wilf has seen so often since he returned. "But I think we're going to be great."

"Take care of her for me," Wilf says. "You don't have to marry her--"

The Doctor huffs a laugh. "I wasn't planning on asking, but I doubt she'd say yes to me anyway."

"Just make her happy," Wilf says. "She's been through so much, and she needs you so badly. It's been like watching a horror movie to see her live the last fifteen years. Even with Rosie and all."

"She hasn't said much," the Doctor says.

"I hope she will someday," Wilf replies. "My poor girl."

"You make it sound like she suffered a lot," the Doctor says. "What happened?"

"She tried to kill herself a couple of times before she found out she was pregnant," Wilf says. "But for god's sake don't tell her I told you."

The Doctor is horrified. "What?"

"Yeah, we had to talk her out of it a few times," Wilf says. "Luckily she spoke up every time, but--"

"Every time? How many times was this?"

"Four," Wilf says. "Twice within the first year or so. She kept insisting that she had no reason to live. And this was before Shaun and the wedding." Wilf grimaces. "She was so matter-of-fact about it. She said she'd obviously lost everything and was insane and had no reason to stay alive any longer. She used to sneak out to the garden at night when she thought I couldn't hear her crying. She used to look through my telescope for hours, but she never could say what she was looking for."

Donna comes into the room with a plate of cheese and crackers. "Stilton?" she asks, her eyes twinkling with happiness. The Doctor and Wilf are both looking at her with such tenderness, the Doctor's face a bit helpless with love. Donna's smile fades a little. "What is it?"

"Oh, nothing," Wilf says. "We were just discussing something."

"Oh," Donna says. "Have a snack, Grandad, it's an appetizer. We'll be at the table in ten minutes. D'you want to eat outside?"

"Sure," Wilf says. "Go on, roll me outside now so I can enjoy the garden while you get ready. Don't you want my help?"

"Absolutely not," Donna says, smiling again.

The Doctor helps Wilf back into his wheelchair and rolls him outside to the table on the patio. He pats Wilf on the shoulder and goes back into the kitchen where Donna is plating up big clouds of mashed potatoes and topping them with chicken and vegetables. She sprinkles fresh parsley on top with a mock flourish and says, "Dinner is served, monsieur."

He takes the little container of herbs out of her hand, buries his hands in her hair, and kisses her thoroughly. Donna relaxes into him after a moment, and when he lets her go she's a little shiny-eyed. "What was that for?" she asks.

"For being here," the Doctor says simply. He picks up two of the plates. "Come on, Donna Noble. Another ordinary night awaits us."

They give Wilf half a glass of wine since he isn't technically supposed to be drinking with his medications, but Donna doesn't have the heart to deny him at least a few sips of the best French vintage they have to offer. The evening is balmy and warm, populated with crickets and cicadas singing in the foliage. They talk and laugh and eat cake, and Wilf stays up until about midnight. Around then he asks the Doctor for a lift back to London instead of staying the night, and murmurs, "I've got a photo album for you." So Donna kisses her grandfather goodnight and lets her two favorite men go off on a ship through space and time, knowing soon enough the Doctor will be back. Wilf's hands are full of fresh green beans in a bag and an extra slice of cake in a tupperware container.

When the Doctor returns he's holding a leather-bound photo album and a little box. Donna has finished the dishes and put away the food and is sitting in the kitchen with another glass of wine and her laptop, just browsing Facebook idly. So he joins her at the table and says, "Look what Wilf gave me."

Donna looks up from her screen and says, "Oh, that's his photo album!" She looks happy. "He loves that old book."

"He said he wanted me to look through it," the Doctor says. "Maybe we can do that."

"What's that?" Donna asks, pointing to the small box.

"Ah," the Doctor says. He pushes the box towards her. "That, is for you."

"From Grandad?"

"No," he says. "From me." He regards her with a bit of trepidation, his tongue braced against his bottom lip.

"Oh, you don't have to--" Donna opens the box and stops. "That's a ring, Spaceman," she says, looking up at him.

"It's not a wedding ring," he hastens to assure her. "it's not an engagement ring or anything like that. It's just... a ring. Made it for you on the TARDIS. I was just thinking."

"It's gorgeous," Donna says, as the low kitchen light catches the stone and metal. It's an exquisite blue sapphire, round and perhaps a carat and a half in weight, set in yellow gold flanked with finely tooled blossoms on either side. Small, perfect diamonds wink at their centers.

Blue for her eyes, blue for the TARDIS, blue for the limitless sky they travel together, and flowers because ever since he met her his path has been strewn with them. He wishes the same for her, since she has brought joy and beauty into his life again.

"It's not a wedding ring," he says again, and Donna takes the ring out of the box. She hands it to him.

"You were the first man to put a ring on me," she says. "It's only fitting you should be the last."

He gives her a speaking look, his eyes full of many emotions, and Donna expects him to pick up her left hand. Instead he goes for her right hand, sliding the ring onto her ring finger and kissing the back of her hand reverently. "So you remember that you're here by choice," he says, tugging her left ring finger gently. "And that you are my right hand."

"I am here by choice," Donna says, a few big tears springing up and rolling down her face. "Sorry," she adds. "I wasn't expecting that." She gets up to get a napkin to wipe her eyes and the Doctor follows her to the counter. She wraps him up tight around his middle. "I don't care about your ship or your time travel or any of it," she says, resting her head against his chest. "I just want you. I choose you."

He props his chin on the top of her head. "Thanks," he says quietly. "I know it's only been a week--"

"Oh, I think Shaun might have made his mind up a while ago," Donna says, her voice a bit unsteady. "I don't blame him. I don't want him to be sad. I don't want him to think I picked UNIT over him."

"You picked me over him," the Doctor says. "Whether you realized it or not, you did. And he saw it. He could have chosen to stay, but then what?"

"I had the same thought," Donna says. She doesn't dispute him. "Where is the line between us?" she asks. "What would I have done? Have two husbands? Worn two rings and pretended like you were a boarder or something? Imagine what Nerys would have to say. I bet she already has the rumor mill at full speed back in London."

"D'you think she'll put a move on Shaun?" the Doctor asks.

"He'd rather eat his own foot," Donna says with certainty, and the Doctor bursts out laughing. Donna sighs. "He's such a good bloke. He's good, down to his bones. He accepted me for who I was, he didn't blame me the way I blamed myself. He stayed when I gave away the money. He stayed when Rose transitioned, and he loves her still just as much. He works hard, and he cares about his family."

"Do you miss him?" the Doctor asks.

"Of course," Donna says. "Yes. But not in a way that would make me want to force him back here. He said he doesn't want this." She sighs, inhaling the scent of his soap and cologne, Earth habits he'd picked up long before he met her. The dual heartbeats thump in concert against her ear. "I s'pose there really is no line between us, eh, Spaceman?" she murmurs.

"Nah," he says, and she can hear his voice resonating in his chest. "Who needs it?" His hands move in comforting circles on her back. "Would you want both of us?"

Donna laughs against him. "Who has time or energy for that?"

"Ah, well," the Doctor says. "I'd rather have you entirely to myself anyway. Don't really want to share."

"Would you have?"

"Of course, if you wanted," the Doctor says. "I would have done anything for you. Anything to keep you in my life. Even stayed away, if that's what you wanted."

"Impossible," Donna says.

"I would also have given up the sex if that's what you wanted and just been your friend."

"Impossible," Donna repeats, and he smiles to himself, glad that she can't see the relief and triumph on his face.

"That's quite hot," he says, tapping her behind lightly and letting her go. "So. Hope you like the ring."

Donna looks down at her hand. "I love it," she says, and she means it. "I will wear it forever."

The next morning Donna reports to the London headquarters of UNIT for work, dropped off as usual by the Doctor in the TARDIS. She makes it her business to get her morning work done quickly, and goes to the Transport Division garage around lunch time. There she quietly puts Shaun's CV and a job application in, and in a week he's been hired as a Transport Supervisor at a salary of seventy-five thousand pounds a year.

Shaun will never know it was Donna who got him hired.

Rose visits every other weekend, always happy to see her mother and always willing to update both the Doctor and Donna on how her father is doing. She tells them about the new job at UNIT, and how Shaun is thriving in his position as supervisor, and how he seems to be settling into the house without Donna more easily than expected. The Doctor leaves Donna and her daughter to talk in Rose's room.

"The two of you should talk," Rose says to her mother. "He's doing okay, but I know he's sad."

"Does he want to talk to me?" Donna asks. "He seemed so final about everything. Like he didn't have anything left to say to me." The thought makes her throat close with grief. "I didn't know what he'd want," she finishes.

"I think he just wants to settle down into a life that's not going to keep being upended," Rose says. "And I can't say I blame him, Mum. We... you did sort of make his life chaos."

To Rose's surprise, tears start to well in her mother's eyes. "I know," Donna says. "I know. It was wrong of me." She wipes her eyes. "Is he angry at me?"

"No," Rose says. "He misses you. But he told me he has no regrets."

Donna lowers her head for a moment. "I hope he knows that I love him anyway."

"Yeah," Rose says, and she feels like she could cry too. "He does. He says he loves you, but that he stepped back for a reason."

There is a little silence. "All right," Donna says. "This is a conversation I can have with him when I see him again. Your birthday is coming up. I want to have a party for you here and your father should be part of it." She sighs. "What is he doing with himself outside of work?"

"He's got friends," Rose says. "He goes down the pub on Wednesdays and last week he took Grandad with him for trivia. He's joined a football league at work, too." She notices her mother seems relieved to hear it.

"And school? How are you?"

Rose shrugs a bit. "You've seen my grades."

"Yes, but your friends? Are they treating you all right?"

"Mum, it's light years away from public school in London," Rose says. "There are other girls like me around. It's just another world."

"And you're happy?" Donna asks.

"Mum, you ask me this all the time," Rose says, smiling. "I'm happy. I'm happy there. I can be myself. And I'm safe."

"All right," Donna says. "I can't ask for anything more."

Rose's eyes fall on Donna's right hand. "What a gorgeous ring," she says. "Where did you get this?"

Donna's eyes go to the Doctor before she can help herself, and Rose smiles. "He has very good taste, doesn't he?" She sees the glow of happiness in her mother's smile, something that she had rarely seen in the past. There is an emptiness about her that has been filled, a sense of completion. Donna just looks... different.

They spend a quiet weekend together, the three of them taking a few trips locally to sit by the river for a picnic. Sunday night Donna is standing in the kitchen cooking while Rose and the Doctor are sitting in the garden, talking rather seriously if their postures are any indication. From inside the warm, airy kitchen, Donna thinks she'll never leave this little French outpost as long as she lives.

The nights are starting to cool off as they approach mid-October, so Rose is wearing a giant hoodie over her clothes and sitting bunched up in one of the lounger chairs. She has been sitting in contented silence with the Doctor for a few minutes, just enjoying her coffee and the evening.

"So," the Doctor says. "What kind of mother is your mum?"

Rose smiles at the look in his eyes. He wants to know everything he missed. She looks over her shoulder at her mother, who is absorbed in her cooking. "She's the best mother I could have asked for in this world," Rose says, and he can tell she means it. "She has been by my side at absolutely every point in my life. She has been my strongest advocate and she has never failed me."

"That's my Donna," the Doctor says, and Rose can hear the warmth with which he says it, the easy possessiveness.

"I would be nowhere without her," Rose says. "She has always accepted me for who I am and protected me as I became myself. I'm safe with her, unconditionally, and that's all a child needs from their mother."

Safe with her, unconditionally, the Doctor thinks. That's my Donna. "What was she like when you were little?"

"The most fun!" Rose says. "She played sports with me, she taught me to read books and music, she taught me to cook and bake." Rose shrugs. "I can't remember a single hurt I had as a little kid that my mother didn't fix."

"That's my girl," the Doctor says again.

"You really love her," Rose says.

The Doctor doesn't hide the fact that he's blushing a little. "Yeah," he says. "She's safe with me, unconditionally." He points a finger at her. "And so are you, miss."

"Yeah, about that," Rose says. "I have to ask you."

"Yes?"

"Mum says you contributed some of my DNA?"

The Doctor grimaces. She had known the answer to this before the metacrisis released itself, but he has to explain it again to her now that it's gone. "Your mum underwent a biological metacrisis, yes," he says. "Her DNA and mine were fused through an energy collision that resulted in a human hybrid being created, that had her humanness and my Time Lord consciousness."

"What?" Rose asks. "So she had a baby with you?"

"No," the Doctor says. "Er... that hybrid was an adult and it grew out of a spare... body part I had lying around."

Rose's face is just like Donna's when she'd heard those words. "So... you're like starfish?" Rose asks. "You lop a bit off and a new one grows?"

It's so like what Donna had said all those years ago that the Doctor has to laugh. "Yes," he says. "In the simplest terms."

"And that means your DNA is in me too?"

"Well... it altered your mum's mind and body forever," the Doctor says. "She ended up with my consciousness too, and my DNA fused to hers. So technically... you have some of my DNA in your makeup. No 23 and Me for you, young lady."

"That's fucking weird," Rose says after a silence. "So do I have two fathers?"

"No, no, no," the Doctor hastens to assure her. "Your father is Shaun Temple. You couldn't exist without him contributing his DNA to father you. You just... have some extra makeup from me."

"So can you reproduce with humans?" Rose asks.

"No," the Doctor says. "I'm physically analogous to human males, but genetically I'm completely incompatible. Even if an egg was fertilized, it wouldn't implant or begin to develop because it lacks the necessary chromosomes."

Rose looks over her shoulder at her mother and then back to the Doctor. "So you two don't have any risk," she says, and the Doctor blushes for real this time. "Well, Mum's also fifty, so she's not getting pregnant."

"Er," the Doctor says again. "Not sure what to say to that."

"Don't," Rose says, starting to giggle like the teenage girl she is. "Don't. Gross. Ew. Disgusting."

The Doctor laughs. "Don't worry about it," he says. "It's not important anyway." He leans back comfortably in his chair. "Your mum said I should ask you about picking an Earth name."

Rose smiles at him. "Well, I picked my own name, so I'm good at that."

"That's what your mother said," the Doctor says.

"Told you, she's the best," Rose says. "What kind of name do you want?"

He shrugs. "I don't care." The fact of the matter is that Donna knows the name he grew up with, his real name, from having shared his mind. She knows that name and she never uses it because she also knows he won't say it. "Sometimes I've called myself John Smith."

Rose scrunches her nose. "Boring. John's not bad, I guess, but not Smith."

"What about Noble?" the Doctor asks. "John Noble?"

"Not bad," Rose says. "Want a middle name?"

"A what?"

"A middle name," Rose says. "My middle name is Margaret."

"Rose Margaret Noble," the Doctor muses. "Pretty. Why not Temple?"

Rose shrugs. "Just seemed... wrong. Mum was okay with it, she told Dad that it didn't really matter as long as I was happy and he'd still be my father no matter what sounds I strung together to identify myself."

That's my girl! he thinks again, so proudly. "What did he say?"

"I think he was a little hurt," Rose says. "But I've always been really clear with him about how I feel about him and that no matter what he'd always be my father and I would always love him."

"Maybe," the Doctor says. "Something with a D. Something for her."

"There's no male equivalent of Donna," Rose says. "Maybe Donald?"

"No," the Doctor grimaces. "Awful name. What about David?"

"John David Noble," Rose says. "Doctor John David Noble. Ooh, Doctor J.D. Noble. Sounds like a physicist or a famous surgeon."

So when Donna leans out the garden doors to tell them supper is ready, Rose gets up and pulls her mom outside. "I think we have an Earth name," she says.

"Oh?" Donna says. "It's about time. Let's hear it." Rose watches her smile soften as she looks at the Doctor, who gets to his feet and clears his throat.

"John David Noble," he says, making her a little bow. "Nice to meet you." He takes her hand and kisses it.

"Doctor John David Noble," Rose chimes in. "Or J.D. Noble, if you want to be mysterious about it."

"I wanted to be sure there was a D. Noble in my name," the Doctor says. He still hasn't let go of Donna.

"Well," Rose says. "I'm going to wash my hands." She sees the look that passes between her mother and the Doctor. She looks over her shoulder as she goes to the kitchen and sees the Doctor wrap her mother up in an embrace. Anyone who cares to look at them can see the devotion between them.

Around the dinner table they laugh and talk as always, and Rose has a glass of wine with them. "I'm supposed to get an assignment at work on Monday," Donna says. "My first."

"Ah," the Doctor says delightedly. "Any ideas?"

"Well, Kate has me under the impression there is a kind of social work department for UNIT?" Donna says. "She referred to it as Intergalactic Humanitarian Relations."

"That sounds good for you," Rose says. "I think you'd be amazing at that, mum. It sounds like you'd be helping people."

"Yeah," Donna says. She looks to the Doctor. "What's it mean?"

"IHR is one of the most important departments in UNIT," the Doctor says. "You'll be the first contact for a lot of people coming to Earth. Most of them will be refugees or victims of crimes. Some of them will be witness protection cases. Some of them will be accidents. It all depends." He takes a sip of wine. "Oftentimes the first contact those people have with Earth can determine their entire future."

"I assume this means I'll need more familiarity with the Intergalactic Code as it pertains to those issues," Donna says. "Have to study up."

"That and the policies on assimilation, protection, identity classification," the Doctor says. "Lots to learn."

"Sounds like school, but infinitely more interesting," Rose says.

"Yeah, better than algebra," Donna says.

"Having bamboo shoved under my fingernails would be better than algebra," Rose says, and everyone laughs.

"You need a maths tutor?" the Doctor asks.

"I don't know why," Rose grumbles. "If my DNA is part-genius, maths should be easier."

Rose goes to bed around eleven PM, and Donna follows the Doctor to the TARDIS parked in the back, where they go to the library and pull out the Intergalactic Code, the Interplanetary Refugee Charter, the Shadow Proclamation's Manual on Interstellar Diplomacy, and several textbooks on the theory of interspecies assimilation and cultural diffusion. There are language manuals and translations for countless cultures contained in Interstellar Diplomacy. It's a massive amount of information. UNIT has designated the Doctor as Donna's training supervisor, so she will take her training aboard the TARDIS and attend in-person seminars as instructed. All told, the department trains for three months after the initial six-month probationary period. This means Donna has reached the end of her probationary hire and is officially appointed to IHR for her 90 days of training.

"We have some options," the Doctor says, spreading the books out in front of them on the big table in the TARDIS library. "We can read, of course."

"Right," Donna says. "And what else?"

"We could... use the psychic connection," the Doctor suggests, raising his eyebrows. "We'd have to go slow to avoid a headache, but you can technically just... learn what I know."

Donna's eyebrows also raise. "And it saves us all the reading?"

"Technically, yes."

"Spaceman," Donna says. "How long have you known me now? Do you think that if I can save myself some trouble I won't go for that option immediately?"

The Doctor grins. "Come here, Donna Noble. Sit down."

"Doctor J.D. Noble," Donna teases him as she settles herself on the sofa. Her smile is full of affection and mirth. "Where'd you get your PhD?"

"Right," he says, tweaking her nose gently. "You'll get used to it soon." He sits down next to her on the sofa and turns her to face him. He touches his fingertips to her temples and Donna flinches away, fast as lightning.

"Ow," she says, and the smile falls off his face.

"Oh, sorry--" he says, and Donna grins.

"Just kidding," she says. "Just payback for that gloop." She settles herself again and gives him a cheeky look before closing her eyes again. His fingers descend on her temples again, and she reaches out to do the same for him. They entrain onto the connection immediately, like stepping from one room to another, and the Doctor can feel Donna's bright, electric, joyful presence in his mind. He feels wrapped in her consciousness like a warm embrace, as always.

Right, he says to her in their minds. I'm going to transmit the contents of the Intergalactic Code. I'll go slow.

Good luck, Donna says.

Tell me if it hurts, he says, and Donna's eyebrows raise but she doesn't open her eyes.

Hurts?

You could get a headache if we go too fast, he responds. Get ready.

He keeps his word about going slowly, so much so that at one point Donna interjects and says, You can't speed it up a little?

Instead of an answer or any acceleration in transmission, the Doctor adds on a second layer of image and sensation, so that Donna gets a full picture of them having sex on the library floor, their clothes scattered around them. That's what I really want, he says. I'll be done soon.

Ooh, that's a nice multitask, Donna says. That'll make this much more fun.

So instead of making his transmission faster, the Doctor simply retains the second layer of sex and sensation to it. By the time he's finished with the code and is sure that Donna has absorbed it, both of them are a little out of breath when they open their eyes. "Right," he says, smiling at her with intent. "Now for your quiz."

He asks her as many questions as he can think of regarding interplanetary refugee policy and cultural crossovers. He quizzes her on the duties of the officers of IHR and where they are limited in their jurisdiction and why. When they get done, Donna settles herself on the sofa comfortably and says, "You do realize, of course, that this makes you my first and most important case?" Her smile is languid and content.

"Oi," the Doctor says indignantly. "I'm not a case, I'm your favorite person to ever exist!" Off her teasing smile he adds, "I don't think caseworkers are supposed to have my cock between their tits on a Wednesday night."

Donna laughs uproariously. "Fair play, Spaceman," she says. "But no, seriously, you're my case number one. My most important, my most personal. My most precious."

"Ah," the Doctor says, waving a hand. "But your file on me is top secret anyway, so it doesn't count."

"Shall we do another?" Donna asks, picking up Interstellar Diplomacy.

"If you like," the Doctor says.

"Yeah, and this time can you also do the sex thing again?" Donna asks. "It's much more fun that way."

It takes about three and a half minutes to transmit the entirety of Interstellar Diplomacy and its appendices, and when he's finished the Doctor leans forward and gives her an openmouthed kiss. "Done," he says. "That's enough for one sitting, you'll get a migraine."

"Well, that saves us a ton of time," Donna says, rolling her shoulders. "And it's fun. I love your active imagination, Spaceman."

"And I love this little telepathy game," he says. "Pretty great."

"Mm-hm," Donna agrees.

"I think it is very fucking hot that you can do that, Donna Noble," he tells her. "You know you're the only human alive who has this ability. Makes you special."

Donna shrugs. "All the better for me."

The Doctor leans back at his ease on the sofa and regards her contentedly. "You're gorgeous, you know."

"Shut up, Spaceman," Donna says. "You don't have to flatter me, I'm already fucking you."

"Oh, now, wait a minute," the Doctor says. "Hang on. Hear me out."

Donna smiles indulgently at him. "Go on, then."

"Do you know what it's like for me to have someone I can talk to?" he asks her. "And it's you, Donna. I missed so much time with you. And best of all you're still you but better." He gives her a once-over she can positively feel. "And you still have all that red hair." Another man would have made her blush but Donna just smiles, a million watts. "The point is," he says, "time is precious and joy is having the time to spend with those you love."

"God, if you are not the wettest, most sentimental--"

"Oh, fuck off," he says, laughing. "I love you, Donna."

She reaches over and picks up his hand and kisses it, lingering for a moment with her vivid blue eyes locked with his. "I love you, Spaceman," she says. "Don't leave me again, eh?"

"You don't leave me," he says. "C'mon, let's go to bed." They lock up the TARDIS and go back into the house together, hand in hand. He's made a nightly habit of going to bed with her, even if he doesn't stay or sleep. The routine is comforting for both of them. Tonight they decide to sleep in her room.

The Doctor changes his clothes and watches Donna shed her clothes and get into pajamas. She brushes her hair through and goes to wash her face and brush her teeth in the ensuite. Just the sheer ordinariness of these actions is inexpressibly comforting to him. No more desolate silences or dark, solitary years. Just the chance to breathe and live in the present, surrounded by comfort. Donna comes back into the room massaging a bit of lotion into her hands and arms and elbows. She climbs under the duvet and holds out her arms. "Come."

He settles himself in her arms, resting his head on her chest. "I hope you stop thinking about how much time you lost," she murmurs to him, placing a kiss or two to the top of his head among the wild spikes of his hair. "It doesn't matter."

He listens to her single heartbeat, his most tangible reminder that she's human, and temporary, and he wants her to stay. He sighs. "I just don't want to lose any more time," he says. "It's been so much."

"And now we've had six months," Donna says. "And four of me living here permanently."

"Best time of my life," he says immediately, fervently.

"Well, it's not going to change," she says. "And I'm not going anywhere. So from here on out, Spaceman, it's you and me."

"And Rosie."

"And Rosie," Donna says, laughing a little. She thinks of her daughter asleep on the floor below them in her beautiful green and blue bedroom that the Doctor had let her decorate any way she pleased. For her upcoming birthday he'd been building her a workshop in the basement of the house, a bright and spacious area with new equipment: a sewing machine, an adjustable table, a comfortable rolling chair, and all kinds of notions and trims and fabrics. He's also building her a packing station, supplied with boxes, tape, tissue paper, a label maker, anything she could imagine. Everything is immaculately organized. Even Donna doesn't know about it yet.

"Donna?" he says into the comfortable silence.

"Yeah."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"D'you... maybe want to stay young?" the Doctor asks. "Like. Not age?"

"What d'you mean?" Donna asks, looking down at him. He tilts his head up to look at her.

"I mean... slow down the cell aging process so that you don't age like other humans and live an indeterminate amount of time with all your abilities and mental and physical health intact?" His eyes are very bare, and in earnest. "I've been wanting to ask you."

"Can you explain it?" Donna asks.

The Doctor makes as if to sit up, but she stops him, too comforted by his solid presence in her arms to let him go. So instead he burrows back into her side and says, "I can do that. And that way you and I can be together for a long, long time."

Donna sighs, and the Doctor feels her fingers carding through his hair gently, comfortingly. "Does that mean I live to a hundred and fifty?" she asks.

"Oh, more like five hundred," the Doctor says and Donna's fingers stop moving.

"What?"

"Yeah," he says. "More like five hundred. Or more. Don't really know."

"What?" Donna asks again.

"You don't have to, you can forget I asked, but I just thought--"

"No, wait," Donna says. "Wait." She sits up and so does the Doctor. "Wait. So you're offering me five times the human lifespan?"

"Or more," he confirms.

"Where was this the first time around?" Donna asks.

"I was much too stupid and young and inexperienced to know what I needed then," the Doctor says. "But you're back. And I just thought I'd ask. You don't have to."

"So what does that mean?" Donna asks.

"It means you will outlive everyone. Rose, Shaun, your mum, everyone you know," the Doctor says. "It's not for the faint of heart. But then again if I thought you were fainthearted, I wouldn't have offered. My Donna can handle the prospect."

Donna nods slowly. "All right, Spaceman. Let me think about what that means."

"Are you all right with watching Rose grow old?"

"Doesn't every parent want their child to live a long, happy life?"

"Yes, but you'll be young still."

"And you won't do it for her too?" Donna asks.

"No," the Doctor says, simply and matter-of-factly. There's nothing else to say. Donna nods again.

"Right," she says. The implications of his refusal are enormous, but then the implications of their entire existence and relationship are enormous. "So only me."

"You're part of me," he says, another factual, simple statement. "And I'm part of you. That's how we ended up here. And that's all I care about ultimately."

Donna is quiet for a few moments. "You know," she says. "This is like a marriage proposal but much more serious."

"I have no plans to ask you to marry me," the Doctor says. "You know how I am about Earth rituals. Rituals in general."

"Yes," Donna says. "But you're asking me to commit to an unknown lifespan with you, because if we were ever not together, I would just be some medical miracle lady who no one knew when I was gonna die. I don't want that. And I don't want to live indefinitely without you. So you'd have to be able to assure me we'd be together, because I can't live centuries without you. There's no point. I'd be lost."

"Right," the Doctor says.

"So I get to keep you?" Donna asks, her palms turned upwards in a gesture of inquiry.

"You will never lose me," he says, and the truth of the statement rings in its simplicity.

"Well," she says. "Then what else is there?"

He practically knocks her over with the force of his embrace. "Fuck's sake," Donna says softly to him. "You're mine, Spaceman. You can have a happy ending."

There is a short silence and then he bursts into heartrending sobs, more forceful than she has ever seen from him. She knows he works hard to keep himself in check, and the most she'd ever witnessed was a few tears, but this is real. She clutches him close, curling her fingers into his back until her knuckles are white. "I'm here," she murmurs. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm here."

He makes very little noise, but she can feel how the sobs wrack his body, the way his chest and stomach heave and wrench with the pain. She rocks him just a little, resting her cheek on top of his head. She wants to end the pain for him but she also knows he needs the catharsis. So she rides it out with him, never once letting go of him, only shifting to murmur softly to him or kiss his head or redouble her embrace. When he starts to calm down, she presses her fingers to his temple so she can send him comforting sensations and images. He refuses to reciprocate the connection to spare her the onslaught of emotions. "You're the only one," he says to her, his voice hoarse. "You're the only one that can do this for me."

"Do what for you?" Donna asks gently.

"Make me feel better," he says simply. "I don't know what I would do without you anymore." He sits up and takes both her hands in his. "If I'm going to live it has to be with you. I need you. I couldn't tell you that the first time because I had nothing to lose. Now I have everything and I need you. That's why I asked you."

"So what was that?" Donna asks. "Me saying yes made you cry."

"Relief," he says to her earnestly. "It's relief. I was terrified I'd have to watch you grow old and die married to another man, and when he left you I didn't dare hope, but now--" He sighs a great sigh and rubs his face. "I don't have to worry anymore. We can just be."

"I did wonder about that," Donna says. Then she gives him a little smile. "Too bad you couldn't have stopped me fifteen years ago, eh?"

"Oh, you look exactly the same," he says.

"You fucking liar," Donna says solemnly, and he laughs a little through his tears. "It's more about my knees and my back than my hair," she adds.

"Ah, I'll take care of that," the Doctor says, waving a hand. He reaches out to cup her cheek. "Take all the time you need," he says. "It's not a snap decision." He can feel how Donna turns her face into his palm, seeking comfort he knows she's been without. He leans forward to kiss her gently on the lips. "Take all the time you need," he says again. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Can't take too long or I'll get even older," Donna says.

"You don't mind stopping at fifty," the Doctor says.

"No, I like myself," Donna says, and she can say that honestly now. "I know who I am, I love being a mother, and I love my work." She settles herself back among her pillows and holds out her arms. "Come back."

So he wraps himself around her again and breathes another great sigh of relief. "Tale your time," he tells her. "It's on offer. I just don't want to live without you."

In the morning they drop Rose off at school together. Just before they open the doors to the UNIT London office, the Doctor takes Donna's hand. "See you later?" he asks.

"Obviously," Donna quips, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You'll have to explain this whole slowdown process to me when I get back."

"Don't worry," he says. "You'll get the full information."

"Oh, I know that," Donna says, and kisses his smiling mouth. "See you later."

He's had to learn to distract himself in different ways while Donna is working, so the Doctor has joined a local engineering club in a town about an hour north of Montresor. After attending a few meetings and deciding they're a good group of people, the Doctor had discovered at the last meeting that one of them was his neighbor. His name is Laurence Miller, and the Doctor had also met his wife Simone at the last meeting when she came to pick him up. They are both about sixty, married for forty years, have three kids who are all grown up and left the nest, and a retired life in the countryside after living in Paris and Nice for most of their earlier lives.

For an experiment in his ongoing trial of living like an ordinary human, the Doctor plans to invite Laurence and Simone for dinner that Friday evening. When he runs the idea by Donna at the end of her workday, her eyes actually fill up.

"Oh, Spaceman, you made a friend," she says proudly.

"Oh, fuck's sake," the Doctor says, grinning. "I have lots of friends."

"No, but," Donna says. "You made a friend that you can be a friend with for a long time. Someone who can stay around. Who is he?"

"His name is Laurence Miller, and he has a wife called Simone, and he's part of my engineering club," the Doctor says.

"What does he call you?"

"John, mostly," the Doctor says. "Jean-Davide doesn't really trip off the tongue, and the French rarely abbreviate. And 'le Docteur' is a bit off-putting."

Donna laughs as she circles the console, the flight sequence automatic under her fingers. "What do you think we should make?"

"They said they'd be interested in anything we have to offer," the Doctor says. "So I'd say priority number one is good wine."

"Ah, but of course," Donna says, in an exaggerated French accent. "Life is pain, zat is why we have wine."

"Exactly," he says. "I'll make lamb shanks and potatoes and you can handle dessert." He adjusts several dials. "Can you make more of that fresh whipped cream with the vanilla?"

"'Course," Donna says.

"Make extra," the Doctor says, giving her a smile full of intent.

"Right," Donna says, catching his drift. She throws the thrust lever and they take off with a smooth boost.

"You're so good at that," he says. "Great takeoff. If you can land her just as nice as me I'll let you fly her solo."

"Let me?" Donna raises an eyebrow. "Mate, I don't want to fly this ship without you unless it's an emergency."

"Fair enough," he says, and Donna turns her attention back to the console to prepare for landing. She manages it with a slight thud, and gives the Doctor a smile and shrug.

"That was easy," she says.

"Smug," the Doctor says.

"Fucking right," Donna says, and walks to the doors of the TARDIS. "I am going to change my clothes and collapse in front of the telly, what d'you say?"

"Telly's a bit boring for me," he says. "I'll sit with you but I'll probably do something else."

"Fair enough," Donna agrees.

They end up with Donna draped over him on the sofa, both of them covered with the same blanket, limbs tangled. He has a book and she is watching a nature documentary narrated by David Attenborough. Donna listens to his heartbeats thrumming in concert, steady and calm. He feels solid, and less thin than he had been before. Well, she'd been sure to feed him rich meals and good wine, and ate all his experiments in the kitchen with him. She'd made him a regular at the patisserie and the boulangerie for bread and sweets. Between the sound of David Attenborough's voice and the steady drum of his heartbeats, Donna is lulled to sleep.

The Doctor notes the slower rhythm of her breath and moves his book aside to look down at the redheaded woman in his arms. Now moments like this don't have to be secret, confined to the TARDIS, snatched in moments of brief reprieve where the knowledge thereof could destroy their privacy. Now he can just be with her. So he tilts his head down to press a kiss to her head and goes back to his book. If he can have this, keep this... it will be all he needs.

When Friday rolls around the Doctor spends most of it cooking and shopping while Donna is at work. It's Shaun's week to have Rose in London so they are free for the weekend.

Donna, meanwhile, has been given her first cases as part of the IHR department. That day she witnesses shivering refugees from a war on a planet located in a star system adjacent to the Milky Way Galaxy. There are about 45 of them, mostly children, blank-eyed and numb. With Donna are a second agent from her department, and a team of nurses, doctors, and therapists. The refugees are people from the planet Harbara, which has been historically a target of invasion due to its location in its star system. Another invasion has taken place, this time by a more advanced civilization, and they are the last of their city. Donna is responsible for processing their intake, and helping to direct them to housing and medical care. She knows everything she needs to thanks to her training and the Doctor's work with her, but the impact of seeing these people leaves her shaken. They are confused and terrified, hungry, some injured, others seeming to have lost their grip on reality. One little girl won't talk to her at all, but only cries, clinging to Donna like a mother. That little girl has a bloody wound on her arm that stains Donna's shirt purple, but she won't speak. The nurses take her from Donna, whose eyes are streaming tears, and another IHR agent called Danielle Charles, a veteran of the department, reminds her to get herself together.

"You can cry later," Danielle whispers to her. "They need you now. Be strong." Her own voice is a little unsteady, and Donna breathes in and out a few times.

"Yeah," she says. "Let's help."

The intake lasts the rest of her workday, and when Donna finally gets back to her office, she is exhausted and worn out. She takes her things and goes to the garage to wait for the Doctor to arrive, which he always does, right on time. Almost as soon as the TARDIS wheezes into view Donna breaks down. She gets her key out and goes into the ship, shutting the door behind her and leaning on it.

His face, in his usual big bright smile to see her again, falls right away. "Oh," he says. "What happened, Donna?" He sees the bloodstains on her shirt and neck. "Oh, no. Come here." He wraps her up tight. "What happened?"

For a moment she considers telling him about the invasion. But she knows in her bones that her Spaceman will want to help, will want to go to Harbara and fix it, and that can't happen. So instead she turns her face into his chest and lets the tears fall, curling her fingers into the fabric of his shirt. He doesn't ask any more questions until she lets go of him. "Just work," she says. "Saw a lot of hard things today."

"Like what?"

Donna shakes her head. "Don't want to talk about it."

"Donna--"

"No," she says, cutting him off. "I don't want to tell you. You'll want to go running off to fix it and I can't have that, I need you--"

"Okay," he says gently. "Okay. Let's go home, then." He starts to circle the console. "You don't have to help me fly."

Silently Donna ignores him and starts to assist in the flight sequence. She throws the lever before he can and stands wordlessly, watching the central column of the TARDIS glow blue-white, its components working away. "D'you want to cancel dinner tonight?" the Doctor asks.

"No," Donna says. "It'll distract me. When are they coming?"

"About eight thirty, I think," he says. He kisses her temple and slips an arm around her as they wait for the TARDIS to land.

"Okay," she says. "It's fine, I'll be fine as long as I have you."

When they land in the garden in France, Donna goes straight to the bathroom to wash off. "There's no weird alien disease I can catch from this blood, is there?" she asks as she scrubs herself at the sink.

The Doctor, perched on the bathroom countertop, shakes his head. "It's just blood, like yours and mine."

"It's purple," Donna says.

"Yes, less oxygenated."

"Is our air safe for them to breathe?"

"Sure," the Doctor says. "Whoever it was might be a little lightheaded at first, but they'll adjust."

"What color is your blood?" Donna asks.

"Red, like yours," the Doctor says. "Maybe redder, with the two hearts and all. More oxygen being processed."

Donna flings her stained shirt aside and strips off the rest of her clothes. "Might as well change for dinner," she says. "I'm thinking I'll make a strawberry cake for dessert."

"Ah, what a good vehicle for that whipped cream I like so much," the Doctor says, attempting to lighten the mood. Donna smiles a little bit. "There's my girl," he adds.

Her bundle of clothes in one arm and her other hand holding his, Donna pulls him into the bedroom with her and seats him on her bed. She goes to her closet and pulls out two dresses. "Purple or blue?" she asks.

"Neither," he says, and Donna turns to put the dresses back. "Something else?"

"Nope," he says, looking her over. She smiles at him.

"Spaceman," she says. "You're no help."

"Thank you," he says. He gets up and slides his hands around her hips. "I like the purple," he says, giving her the lightest kiss. "You can wear that one without a bra."

"Spaceman," Donna repeats, scandalized and delighted as he goes out of the room.

"What?" he asks innocently over his shoulder. "No pants either, all the better," he calls as he starts down the stairs.

She hears him thump merrily down the stairs and smiles to herself. She decides to wear pants after all but no bra, just for him. She can always put a sweater on.

Down in the kitchen the Doctor starts to prepare his lamb shanks and potatoes, and Donna joins him, retrieving her apron from the pantry. "Ah, perfect," he says, turning from the pile of potatoes on the counter. "Just the way I like it." He reaches out and nudges the neckline of the dress aside so that one pink nipple is exposed. "Leave it like that."

"Spaceman," Donna says a third time. "There is fire in this room. Do not subject my breasts to fire. I thought that went without saying. It's a ground rule."

He laughs and leans down to kiss her nipple, pulling the fabric back into place. "Fair enough," he says. "Take what I can get." He slants her a cheeky look. "I'm determined to distract you tonight."

"It will be appreciated," Donna says. "Meanwhile, who are these people you've invited to our home?"

"Laurence is about sixty, I'd say?" the Doctor says. "So's his wife."

"Yeah, and they call you John," Donna says. "I'm gonna have to practice."

"Oh, speaking of that," the Doctor says, and Donna turns from the fridge where she is getting out the ingredients for a cake. "I know how you can practice." He dances her back against the kitchen island and hooks his fingers in her neckline again, dropping his mouth to her neck and collarbone. His hands pull her skirt up her thighs and his fingers skim between her legs. "Oh, you did wear pants," he says, lifting his mouth from her neck.

"I did-- oh, yes," she says when he runs his tongue along her throat. He's an expert at this now in a new way, a better way than before. He always did what she liked but now he can get her off fast and efficiently and deliciously. He sucks a nipple up into his mouth, laving it thoroughly. She doesn't say many more words until he feels her wind up and her mouth opens.

"Say my fucking name," he says to her, and Donna's eyes squeeze shut in utter pleasure.

"Oh, John," she moans. "Oh, fuck, yes."

"Amazing," he tells her, continuing the motion of his hand. "Sounds fucking great."

Donna gives him a lustful little smile. "You like it?"

"I love it," he says. "it was a good choice of a name." He pulls his hand out from under her dress and Donna covers herself back up. "There. Now you've practiced."

Donna goes back to the refrigerator. "I'll work on it," she says. "We'll need to do a bit more practice as we go." She sets out her ingredients: milk, eggs, butter, sugar, flour. She has an expensive stand mixer on the kitchen island and she whips up a simple sponge in no time. While her cakes are baking and the lamb shanks sautéing in the pan, Donna changes out her bowl and adds fresh vanilla and a bit of vanilla extract to a saucepan of cream on low heat to let the bean infuse the cream. When she's happy with it, she puts the cream in the mixer with sugar and whips it until there are stiff peaks.

The Doctor moves around her efficiently and within two hours there is a meal and a strawberry shortcake thickly frosted with whipped cream. Donna retrieves two bottles from their wine storage cabinet and the Doctor sets out four wine glasses. Then he faces Donna and holds out a hand. "John Noble," he says.

Donna looks down at his hand.

"Practice," he says.

"Donna Noble," she says, without shaking his hand.

"Rude," he says, shaking his head at her. "Can't even shake a bloke's hand after he's had it in your knickers."

Their doorbell chimes, and they both look to the front door.

"Perfect timing," Donna says, grinning. She goes for the door and on the threshold is an attractive older couple, smiling and holding a shopping bag. "Hello!" she says.

"Hello, darling," says Simone, the wife, and she and Laurence give Donna the customary two kisses on each cheek.

"Come in, come in," Donna says. "John's in the kitchen." She commends herself for how naturally she said his name. She makes Simone and Laurence comfortable in their living room, and they hand her the bag which turns out to be filled with cheese and bread, which she puts out for an appetizer. She pours everyone a glass of wine and seats herself comfortably with the couple.

The Doctor comes in to join them a minute later, taking a glass of wine from Donna and smiling contentedly. He seats himself next to her on the arm of her chair, one arm around her. "Welcome to the house!" he says to Laurence and Simone. "We've done lamb shanks, potatoes, Brussels sprouts, and strawberry shortcake."

"Ah," Laurence says, raising a glass. "Sounds perfect."

"Tell us about yourselves," Donna says. "We're so glad you're here."

"Well," Laurence says. "As you know I met your husband at our engineering club. He's extremely smart."

"Thank you," Donna says proudly, not bothering to correct the mistake as she would have previously. Even back then she'd been starting to give up, since everyone seemed to take for granted that she and the Doctor were married, even without rings. It doesn't matter anymore.

"He told me the two of you just moved here a few months ago," Laurence continues. "How are you liking our little French outback?"

Donna smiles. "I love it here. Private, quiet, everything we could ask for."

Simone nods. "That's what drew us here too when we retired. After our youngest son left home, we decided no more Paris."

"How many children do you have?" Donna asks.

"Three, two sons and a daughter," Simone says. "The youngest is twenty-six now, so we've done our jobs. Do you two have children?"

"I have a daughter from my first relationship," Donna says. "With my ex-husband. She's fifteen. And we don't plan on having any children." She looks to the Doctor. "John, what d'you say we light the fire pit and have all this wine and cheese outside?"

"I'll help you with that," Simone says, and she and Donna start to gather the wine and food. The Doctor opens the garden doors and goes to check on his lamb shanks. Laurence follows him to the kitchen.

Out in the garden, where the late October air is mellow and cool, Donna arranges the food and wine and takes the top off the fire pit. Simone stops her, taking her right hand. "What a magnificent ring," she says, looking at the sapphire. "And flowers, how lovely."

Donna smiles. "Yeah, he gave it to me about a month ago," she says.

"Ah, so you are married to a romantic," Simone says. "Lucky you."

"Isn't Laurence a romantic?" Donna asks. "John tells me you've been married forty years."

"Oh, yes," Simone says. "I never would have married him if he didn't have poetry in his soul."

"Well said," Donna smiles, arranging the wooden logs in the fire pit. It's a big round structure made of stacked stones and mortar, polished and rustic looking. She pulls out a long match and strikes it, setting a pile of tinder under the logs aflame. "There we go. Give her a few minutes and she'll be big and bright." One of her sweaters is already draped over the garden chair from earlier that day, so Donna puts it on over her dress. She makes herself comfortable with Simone and smiles. "Welcome."

"Merci, darling," Simone says. "You look very happy."

Donna takes a sip of wine through a smile. "I have, in fact, never been so happy in my life."

"Well, what woman doesn't want the privilege of saying that sentence?" Simone toasts Donna, who clinks glasses with her. "To loving the love of your life."

"Hear, hear," Donna says, looking back over her shoulder at the men in the kitchen. This little masquerade as an ordinary happy family is so achingly needed by Donna, who has waited so very long to feel this feeling. They are talking animatedly about something scientific, no doubt, and Donna smiles softly. He needs friends so badly, friends with no obligations or strings or betrayals. In all honesty, so does she.

"How long have you been married now?" Simone asks.

"Oh..." Donna says. "It's a very long story."

"Oh?" Simone says. "Do you care to share it?"

Donna takes a great deep breath. "I met him fifteen years ago, before my daughter was born, and he... we... fell in love. Tried to deny it. And then we were separated by force and we lived our lives apart, and he found me seven months ago."

"Oh, my god," Simone says, putting her glass down. "He came back."

"He came back," Donna says, and the enormity of it chokes her for a moment because she's seeing it from someone else's perspective since it all happened, and recanting it makes her realize she hasn't been living in a dream for nearly a year. She clears her throat. "Sorry," she says.

"That's quite a story," Simone says. "No wonder the two of you are so closed off here. Your home is like an enclave. A lovely hideaway."

"Yes," Donna says. That is entirely deliberate, even beyond the rules of UNIT for their safety. "I don't think we've really recovered from being apart for so long. We just don't want to be disturbed."

"How incredible," Simone says. "How did he find you?"

"I think he was looking," Donna says, and while that's not strictly true, it's how it had evidently played out. "And I just knew I had to be with him. He's part of me. There's no line." Then she seems to realize she's been pouring her heart out to this lady who barely knows her. "Excuse me," she says, a bit sheepishly. "I know I'm gushing--"

"Oh, no," Simone says. "Do you think I don't know what a woman in love looks like? It's lovely. I wish you happiness and peace, you've clearly earned it."

If you only knew, Donna thinks. Sometimes she sits in her garden and just looks at things. She knows that she is even still alive because of her own heroic actions, though she never seems able to really absorb that fact. It's part of why she's still so surprised to be so thoroughly loved by this brilliant man. She has never truly absorbed that she has saved the actual entire universe before in her life. Even without that he would love her, but that's an idea Donna can't yet accept. Maybe now knowing that she had saved everyone everywhere at one point in her life, even if it cost her half of herself, gives her a reason to think maybe she's earned his love and this life.

"Well surely you can see him with Laurence," Simone says. "He's alive with joy." The men are laughing in the kitchen while the Doctor plates the food for everyone.

"Yeah," Donna says. "Isn't he just." She's so glad. She looks back at Simone. "Me too."

"Mesdames," Laurence pokes his head out the garden doors. "Shall we eat around the fire?"

"We can do that," Donna calls back. "Do you need help?"

Laurence shakes his head. "No," he says. "You stay there. Entertain my wife. She gets up to no good when she's bored." He goes back inside the kitchen. "Your wife is quite a lady!" he says to the Doctor, who smiles proudly and doesn't bother correcting him.

"Isn't she just," he agrees.

"How long have you been married now?" Laurence asks.

"Tell you the truth, mate," the Doctor says. "We only found each other again seven months ago."

"Again?" Laurence says. "You were separated?"

The smile on the Doctor's face fades. "Yeah," he says. "And I didn't... I don't think either of us ever thought we would see each other again, but I had to look for her. I had to know she was all right."

"That's quite a love story," Laurence says. "If you don't mind me asking you, what separated you?"

"War," the Doctor says, which is as close to the truth as he can get.

Laurence's smile fades. "Oh," he says. "Forgive me, you don't have to say anything else."

The Doctor shakes his head. "Sorry for bringing the tone of the evening down. Why don't we get out there?"

Laurence puts a hand on the Doctor's shoulder. "You don't have to worry about that. Simone and I have always been grateful for our boring lives." He and the Doctor go out with two plates each, and join Donna and Simone around the fire.

And for the next few hours they laugh and talk with Simone and Laurence like any ordinary people, until around one in the morning. They've shifted position so that the Doctor is sitting behind Donna with his arms around her. "We'd best get on the road," Simone says, yawning. "What excellent wine."

"Thank you," Donna says, a bit tipsy herself. Laurence, ever the responsible driver, has nursed a glass for the last hour or so.

"You light an excellent fire," Simone says, getting to her feet. "An evening to be applauded."

Donna makes a little bow, and she and the Doctor see Simone and Laurence to the door. Once they're in the car and driven away, Donna turns to the Doctor. "So, John," she says playfully. "Did you like our little performance tonight? Our Regular People Show?"

"You did very well," he says, and Donna makes another little bow.

"And so did you, Spaceman," she says. "If I didn't know better I'd say you had a good time."

"Ah, but luckily you know better," he jokes, and Donna nods.

"I do," she says. "No, but really. Did you? We can do it again." She watches him go back to the garden to gather the dishes instead of answering her. "We can, if you want," she says again.

The Doctor puts the dishes into the sink. He turns to her. "You had to know that tonight was a dream come true for me," he says. "I can't remember the last time I felt so at peace." He goes back out to get the wine glasses to avoid the moment, and Donna takes them out of his hands when he gets back inside the kitchen.

"Spaceman," she says, and the word is filled with so much love. It makes him stop and listen. She's really the only person he'll listen to anyway. And it helps that she looks so pretty just then, in one of his favorite dresses with a cozy sweater over it, her hair shining in the warm kitchen light. She smells like perfume and wine and that essence that is entirely hers, one that humans can't detect but that he can, and that comforts him.

"We'll do it again eventually," he says, ambivalent about it all.

"Don't you like them?"

"Yes," the Doctor says. "Of course. Laurence is a good bloke. I just... maybe we don't really want a bunch of people around us?"

Donna smiles. "Security concerns or you just don't want to share me?"

"Call it both," he says. "In equal measure." He tilts his head towards the sink. "I'll do the dishes if you put out the fire."

"Deal," Donna says, and he watches her walk back out into their thriving garden. He watches her douse the flames and turn off the firepit, putting the round metal shell back over the top. When she walks back inside, closing the garden doors behind her, he comes to pull her back in by the waist.

"Do you really mind that it's going to be a show from here on out?" he asks her. "Everything we do as normal people is a show."

"Well, yeah," Donna says as if it's obvious. "'Course it is! No giving away the game."

"Might wear on you."

"Oh, please," Donna rolls her eyes. "It's literally the best secret in the entire universe. Why would I mind keeping it?" She tilts her chin up to look at him properly. "I live with a time traveling alien who's a billion years old and mysteriously never dies, and who is going to confer upon me the closest to functional immortality that exists with the added bonus of super-slow aging so I get to keep my fabulous hair. You think I can't put on a couple of dinner parties a few times a year for that? A Christmas here or there? For the entire universe at my feet for as long as I can imagine?"

He pulls her in to kiss her and Donna says, "Speaking of which, Spaceman, when does my youthful journey begin?" instead of kissing him back. She feels the Doctor huff a laugh against her lips and closes the gap between them, kissing him deeply.

"Let's say tomorrow," he says. "I have more important things to do now."

"Like dishes?" Donna asks.

"Fuck no," he says, pulling her by the hand up the stairs.

He does do the dishes of course, after, when Donna is lying contentedly on her bed. She just smiles at him languidly when he gets up and puts his shorts back on. "I'll be back," he says.

Before long Donna can hear the hum of the dishwasher. She pulls a blanket over herself and thinks about what she's been offered. The chance to outlive everyone. The chance to see her daughter through an entire life, and to stay the same as she is now. The chance to be loved, as long as she lives, no matter where in the universe she goes. The chance to love, to be free to love the man she thinks she was always destined to know. The chance to exist, to no longer be invisible, lonely, defective, unimportant Donna. How could anyone turn that down?

And she'll be useful to UNIT and IHR for as long as she's able. Think of how many people she could help. How many wounds she could heal, how many psyches she could repair. How much progress she could see and help to come to pass. She can do good for as long as she can.

And for love, she can give up the normal life. It was never much for her anyway. So when he comes back into the room she is solemn. "So tomorrow I get to live forever," she says, resting her chin on her hand on his chest.

"Not forever," he says. "But yeah."

"Will it hurt?"

"I don't know," the Doctor says. "It's a process invented by Gallifreyans alongside the regeneration technology. Regeneration doesn't hurt, but you never know." He squeezes her a little. "I won't let you suffer."

"And it'll work?"

"It's been used before for scientific and legal purposes," the Doctor says. "So yes, it works. But you'd be the first and only human to ever have undergone the process."

Donna rolls her eyes. "How many more times is that going to happen to me?" she asks, smiling. "The first and only human to undergo a metacrisis. The first and only human to engage psychically. The first and only human to get awards from aliens for heroism. You know. Old hat for me now, Spaceman." She gives him a playfully wicked look. "I'm special."

"Yes," he says. "Finally, you get it." It's nine million people... who cares about me? And out of nine million, out of eight billion, out of the infinity, she will always be the one. For her, he will live the normal life.

In the end it doesn't hurt. Donna goes into the TARDIS with him at sunrise, since neither of them managed to sleep but instead talked until the sky turned light again. She goes to the medbay with him, and clings to his hand until he helps her onto the bed. "Don't be scared," he tells her. "On the other side of this is our life."

"How long is it going to take?" Donna asks.

"Don't know," the Doctor says.

"You don't know much," Donna says softly, without rancor.

"It's never--"

"Been done on a human before, I know," Donna says, finishing his sentence. She squeezes his hand. "Here we go."

He pulls out the Chameleon Arch and connects to the mainframe of the TARDIS processor. He gives her a look full of affection and love as he places it on her head. She reaches up to adjust it and breathes deep. "I'm gonna turn it on in a moment," the Doctor says. "Stay with me."

She nods, and a moment later she feels her entire body go rigid, as if she has been bound in straps. There is a prickling sensation, a great shrieking ring in her ears that makes her wince, and then she is shivering uncontrollably. It seems to go on for ages, but eventually Donna feels her body slow and still. She is out of breath and a little shaky, but she opens her eyes to see the Doctor still standing there. He looks concerned and scared, until she says, "Blimey. What the fuck was that?"

He makes a noise between and laugh and a sob, pulls the Chameleon Arch off her, and helps her sit up. "You all right?"

"I feel fine," Donna says. "Maybe a bit dazed?" She gets to her feet and stands still for a moment, the Doctor's hands hovering on either side of her to catch her if she falls. She looks down at herself. "What now?"

"Er," the Doctor says. "I think we're done."

"Oh," Donna says. "Good. I could use a giant meal and to sleep for days."

"Those are good side effects," the Doctor says. "There we go. Let's go eat and you can get into bed."

Donna ends up sleeping nearly a full 24 hours afterwards. She wakes up feeling no different physically. When she comes down to the living room the Doctor is sitting there attempting to look as if he has not been anxiously checking on her for the last day and night to make sure she's still breathing. He'd been resisting the urge to wake her up for nearly that long. He smiles with relief when she joins him on the sofa. "Status report?" he asks her, only half-playfully.

"Er," Donna says, considering. "I just slept the entire day and night, right?"

"Yep. Hungry?"

"Maybe?" Donna asks. "So now what? Is something supposed to happen?"

"I'm pretty sure it's what doesn't happen that will tell us we were successful."

"What time is it?" Donna asks.

"About 3:30 in the morning," he says.

"I love these weird hours with you," Donna says. She moves to nestle up against him. "I feel exactly the same."

"Good," he says. "Time will tell, as usual." He hands her the TV remote. Their TV is wi-fi enabled, of course, and it's hooked up to the TARDIS computer via said wi-fi, so they can get any programming they want, past or present, Earth or not. Donna settles on reruns of Seinfeld, since she had discovered it during their long, happy, timeless nights together. She stretches out so that her head is resting on his chest. He puts his arm around her, under her arm so he can rest his hand on her breast. It's an easy, possessive move, and Donna smiles to herself, hoping he can't see it.

After a few minutes, Donna says, "I can't decide whether this show is funny or not."

"The audience thinks it is," the Doctor says. Donna huffs a little laugh.

"Is it a laugh track?"

"Maybe," the Doctor says. There is a comfortable little silence.

"Will we always live here?" Donna asks.

"If you like," the Doctor says. "We can go anywhere if you get bored of France. We just have to let UNIT know. We have time."

"Yeah," Donna says. She puts her hand over the Doctor's. The sapphire ring glints in the light from the TV.

They finally do have time.

[aipilosse]

I’d like your opinion if not too much of a bother: Do you think that in actual canon Sauron was somewhat initially sincere in his offer to help the elves improve middle earth? It reads to me like he was only interested in lying to the elves of Eregion for his own personal use, but I can’t get past the idea that it seemed so easy for him to fool them. Fooling men is one thing, but the elves seem to take stock of others much more accurately. The easiest way to deceive is to have some truth mixed in with the lies. There is somewhere that says something to the effect of his repentance might have been sincere initially at one time (though I think it was more because he was scared for himself).

Questions about Sauron are never a bother!!!

Short answer: Yes, I think Sauron was somewhat sincere in his offer to help the elves improve Middle-earth.

Longer answer: Yes, I think Sauron was somewhat sincere in his offer to help the elves improve Middle-earth and I have textual support!

The well known line that you referred to is from Of The Rings of Power and the Third Age in the Silmarillion, and is regarding Sauron abjuring his past deeds to Eönwë:

And some hold that this was not at first falsely done, but that Sauron in truth repented, if only out of fear, being dismayed by the fall of Morgoth and the great wrath of the Lords of the West.

Now, you can (fairly) make the argument that this is no true repentance if he's just doing so because he's scared, and that by the time he approaches the elves circa S.A. 1000, he was back to being 100% bad vibes, evil all day e'er day, bad news bears, etc. but I think his desire to work with the elves to improve the world was genuine.

This is slightly undercut by what comes next:

Seeing the desolation of the world, Sauron said in his heart that the Valar, having overthrown Morgoth, had again forgotten Middle-earth; and his pride grew apace. He looked with hatred on the Eldar, and he feared the Men of Númenor who came back at whiles in their ships to the shores of Middle-earth; but for long he dissembled his mind and concealed the dark designs that he shaped in his heart.

You might say, well there you have it, he has dark designs and hates the elves, case closed pack it up, but WAIT. Now, if you know me, you know I don't hold much truck with most 'biased narrator' bs, but I do think it's worthwhile whenever we are being told about a character's thoughts to consider the framing of the story and how those thoughts could possibly have been known. I think in this case and in others (for instance, Maedhros' thoughts right before he dies) we can assume that whoever is recording the story, whatever their motives, did not actually know what characters like Sauron are thinking.

'But Aipi, you filthy hypocrite,' you say. 'You've argued yourself that the 'single narrator' lens of the Silm that many fans take misconstrues what's going on, since the sources it pulls from have multiple in-text historians and bards or sometimes none at all, and because of that, you can't just chuck out the lines you don't like with no evidence.'

Fair, totally fair, but I have evidence!

The reason I think the "dark designs" bit is color added by a historian who did not actually know Sauron's thoughts at the time he came to the elves is because of On Motives.

If you are a Sauron fan, I highly recommend tracking down a copy of Morgoth's Ring and reading the chapter 'Notes on Motives in the Silmarillion'. I am resisting quoting the whole thing, but importantly we are told:

[Sauron] did not object to the existence of the world, so long as he could do what he liked with it. He still had the relics of positive purposes, that descended from the good of the nature in which he began: it had been his virtue (and therefore also the cause of his fall, and of his relapse) that he loved order and co-ordination, and disliked all confusion and wasteful friction.

On Motives gives us several important facts: Sauron has the relics of positive purpose, he has the virtue of loving order and coordination, he fell and then again relapsed (which means he must have achieved some sort of not-evil state inbetween the fall and the relapse!).

We also get this wonderful line comparing Sauron and Saruman:

Sauron's love (originally) or (later) mere understanding of other individual intelligences was correspondingly weaker.

And there are other references to Sauron being capable of admiring minds outside of his own in On Motives. To me, all this points to Sauron not only coming to the elves with genuine aspirations to help, but also that at this point perhaps 'hatred of the Eldar' is a wee bit overblown.

The idea that Sauron falls, starts to walk a better path, and falls again is a key motif in the history of Middle-earth. It echoes Morgoth's arc, and then is replicated in miniature in a way in Gollum. He has some genuinely good intentions, but these are warped by his desire for control and the corrupting nature of power.

There's even more bits on Sauron and his fair motives in Tolkien's letters, but I think I'll wrap with this quote (another fave):

But at the beginning of the Second Age he was still beautiful to look at, or could still assume a beautiful visible shape – and was not indeed wholly evil, not unless all 'reformers' who want to hurry up with 'reconstruction' and 'reorganization' are wholly evil, even before pride and the lust to exert their will eat them up.

Perhaps Sauron was always doomed to fall again because of his need to control, but I think the elves of Eregion recognized a genuine kindred motive in him.

[bethanythebogwitch]

Digimon and Mythology: the Seven Great Demon Lords

Of all the many Digimon groups, none are more notorious than the Seven Great Demon Lords. Among the most powerful of all Digimon, they are the epitome of evil in the Digital World, each one representing one of the seven deadly sins. As long as that sin exists in Digimon, the corresponding Demon Lord will exist. It's even stated that they are transdimensional, each one existing in many parallel worlds throughout the multiverse. The power of the associated sin is divided between each version of the Demon Lord in every universe where they exist. Kill one in one universe, and its power will be divided amongst its counterparts in other universes. This means even killing a Demon Lord is a crime, for though you've helped your universe, every other one will now be worse off for it. The Demon Lords are composed of fallen angel Digimon that rebelled against the Digital World's god in ancient times. Their rebellion failed and they were consigned to the Dark Area, the graveyard of deleted data that serves as the Digital World's hell. Now, each works to fulfill its own agenda while staying out of each other's plans. It is possible that, were they to unite in common cause, their attempted destruction of the Digital World would succeed this time.

Each Demon Lord has a crest associated with them and their sin. These crests contain quite a bit of information about their real-life inspirations. Each crest is a concentric circle. Between the two circles is a series of text reading LEVEL:666 SYSTEM:___ CODE:___. CODE (which is listed twice) lists the Demon lord's sin and SYSTEM lists the demon associated with that sin in Christian demonology. In the inner circle at the top is the symbol used in pre-scientific astrology for one of the seven classical planets (which included the sun and moon as planets). In the middle, taking up most of the crest is the sigil of one of the seven olympian spirits, which I will discuss below. At the bottom is text PURGATORY LEVEL:___, which goes from 1 to 7 and correspond to the level of purgatory associated with that sin in the Purgatorio chapter of Dante's Divine Comedy. Each crest is the color of one of the seven colors of the visual light spectrum. Each Demon Lord also has a sword with a unique design that includes their crest, but these swords don't appear is as much media as the crests.

The olympian spirits mentioned above were featured in several renaissance-era occult traditions that mixed together Christian theology with a variety of new ideas. The spirits were said to rule the 196 provinces of heaven, ruled the natural world in secession, and each was associated with one of the classical planets and the teaching of some kind of knowledge. They are often associated with (though are not) archangels. Each also had a seal. The crests of the Demon Lords each bear the seal of one of the olympian spirits and the symbol of their associated planet.

So the Demon Lords are fallen angels, but what is a fallen angel? The common modern idea of a fallen angel is an angel that sided with the devil when he rebelled against god and was cast into hell, where they now seek to spread evil and may be synonymous with demons. This is the idea that Digimon runs with. This idea has not always been the consensus. The origin of the idea of a fallen angel appears to occur in ancient Jewish texts which are now considered apocryphal by most modern Jews and Christians. These books describe angels called watchers who go to earth and fall for human women, whom they mate with and are then rejected by god. Throughout the history of Judaism, the idea of fallen angels being evil beings (and whether or not they even exist) has come in and out of fashion. It appears to have been in fashion when Christianity branched off, since the devil is described as a fallen angel in canonical texts. The text never actually equated fallen angels and demons, but that has become the general consensus since them. There are a surprising amount of very Christian beliefs that are actually not stated in the Bible (cough trinity cough).

The leader of the Seven Great Demon Lords (in that he's the only one who can get them all to work together) and most powerful member is Lucemon Falldown Mode, Demon Lord of pride. As the name suggests, he is based on Lucifer, the original name of the most common version of the devil myth in Christianity. He started out as Lucemon, the first angel Digimon who lived in the early Digital World, a chaotic place, and brought order and harmony. Lucemon was a good and loving being that, despite bing of the low Child/Rookie level, was so powerful that the Ultimate/Mega level Three Great Angels possess its power divided amongst themselves. For reasons never fully stated, Lucemon rebelled against the Digital World's god and became Lucemon Falldown Mode. Normally, a mode change is the Digimon changing itself without actually evolving, but Lucemon treats mode changes as evolutions instead. It skipped a level to become a Perfect/Ultimate level as FM. This is a level below the other Demon Lords, but it is still the most powerful of the group. Lucemon FM is a contradictory being, possessing both angelic and demonic qualities, as evidenced by it having angel wings on one side of its body and bat wings on the other. It is trapped between its original loving self and a demonic desire to destroy that causes it to have the ultimate goal of destroying the world to create a new one.

Lucemon

Lucemon Falldown Mode

Lucemon can further evolve to Lucemon Satan Mode. In this form, he loses all human features to instead become a gigantic, demonic dragon. It is based on the dragon of the book of revelation. While that dragon had seven horns, Lucemon SM does not. Instead, it has the crests of all the Demon Lords on its wings, a reference to said dragon wearing seven crowns. It carries a globe of shadows called Gehenna that absorbs all attacks, making it impossible to actually harm Lucemon SM. Genenna is the name of a valley in Jerusalem whose name as become associated with a place of divine punishment in Judaism. Despite its power, Lucemon Satan Mode is actually just the shadow of the true form of Lucemon, who resides within the Gehenna globe. This true form, the epitome of Lucemon's evil is Lucemon Larva, which takes the from of an utterly pathetic little worm that can barely do anything. The ultimate evil of the Digital World being a pathetic little bug is definitely some sort of statement on behalf of the Digimon creative team. All the Demon Lords have an x-antibody variant. Lucemon X loses the symbolism of being half angel and half demon and explicitly said to have become omnipotent. Yeah, in the x-antibody setting, evil wins. And people say x-antibody Digimon aren't edgelordy as hell. All the Demon Lord x-antibody forms incorporate their crest into their designs, which is a nice touch.

Lucemon Satan Mode

Lucemon Larva

Ok, so Lucemon is the devil, but who exactly is the devil? Well in the oldest Jewish texts, Satan is not a person, but a title meaning "opposer" or "adversary". The satan was a title given to someone acting an an adversary on God's behalf and certainly was no an enemy of God. The idea of the satan being an individual being was God's enemy is one of many features the ancient Hebrews adopted from Zoroastrianism after the Persians conquered Israel out from under the Babylonians. Zoroastrianism features the idea of the world being caught in a struggle between the good god Ahura Mazda and the evil god Ahriman, a struggle where good will eventually win. The Hebrews folded these ideas into their own religion by making their version of Ahriman a fallen angel and attaching the already existing satan title to him. The name Lucifer being attached to the devil comes from Isaiah 14 (which if you read in context is actually condemning the king of Babylon, not talking about the devil) which refers to astrology, referencing the morning star, another name for Venus. Lucifer is the Latin name for Venus as it appears in the morning and was used when the Bible got translated into other languages. Venus being connected to fallen figures also predates Judaism. Both the Sumerians and the Canaanites had gods associated with Venus (Inanna and Attar, respectively) who descended to the underworld. Lucemon's crest is red and references the olympian spirit Och, who was associated with the sun and was a healer.

Leviamon is the Demon Lord of envy, based on leviathan. It is a colossal red crocodile that slumbers in the depth of the ocean and is so large that it could swallow the Digital World in one bite. When it does wake up, its envy of anything it perceives as greater then it lead it to hatred and violence. Even angelic and other demonic Digimon flee before its power. Lucemon provides the foundation for evil to exist in the Digital World and it is said to have no limits. Leviamon X gains the ability to fly and some of the ugliest art in the franchise. Its crest is light blue (which stands in for indigo in the rainbow) and references the olympian spirit Ophiel, a teacher of art that is associated with Mercury.

Leviamon

Leviamon X

The leviathan is a sea monster appearing the the Hebrew bible. While it is described as a fire-breathing monster, multiple scholars believe that the description given in the book of Job is a highly exaggeration and fantastical description of a Nile crocodile, which would have been one of the most terrifying creatures known to people in the middle east and makes Leviamon's depiction very fitting. Leviathan is often used as a symbolic representation of an obstacle to overcome. According to some literature, at the end of the world it and its counterpart behemoth will be killed and the righteous will eat them. Scholars of comparative religion note the similarity of leviathan to monsters in other nearby cultures, such as the Canaanite Lotan and Sumerian Tiamat. Many of these cultures have creation myths that portray the pre-creation chaos as a sea monster that must be killed for the creation of the world to begin. Said scholars suggest that leviathan comes from a pre-Jewish version of this motif.

Demon is the Demon Lord of wrath. He is the only Demon Lord that got a substantial name change in English, or rather he got two. While the dub of Digimon Adventure 02 uses Daemon, most English media uses the name Creepymon. In a fandom that argues over every name change, you will not find any fans sticking up for Creepymon. Tt's probably the most despised name change in the franchise because of how silly it sounds for such an intimidating and evil Digimon. Because Demon is the lord of wrath, you might think he's a mindless rage monster. This would be a mistake, Demon is actually a brilliant schemer who is plotting to find a way to evolve beyond the Ultimate/Mega level and take over the Digital World. All the Demon Lords are fallen angel Digimon and Daemon is a fallen Seraphimon, the most powerful of the angels. It hates the Digital World's god and seeks revenge for its banishment to the Dark Area. In the mange V-Tamer 01, Demon succeeds at evolving beyond the Ultimate/Mega level, becoming Demon Super Ultimate. Demon X can go beyond even that through the power of being really, REALLY angry. Demon's crest is orange and references the olympian spirit Bethor, who had many treasures and was associated with Jupiter.

Demon

Demon Super Ultimate

Demon X

Demon has been confirmed to be based on a cacodaemon. In Greek, the word "daemon" or "daimon" was a generic term for any spirit with no moral implication. Cacodaemons were daemons who were evil. It was after the translation of the old testament to Greek that the word "daemon" came to be associated with evil. Demon also takes design influences from more monstrous depictions of the devil. It was designed before the Demon Lords as a group were introduced and retroactively included in the group, which is why it doesn't have the same depth of references as the rest and its name is so much more generic.

The Demon Lord of sloth is Belphemon Rage mode. While only its Rage Mode is considered a Demon Lord, Belphemon spends most of its time in Sleep Mode. Belphemon was so powerful and destructive that the Digital World's system forcibly placed it in a sleep mode. While in Sleep Mode, Belphemon can't attack, but its snores are so powerful that other Digimon can be killed just by being near it. Belphemon awaked once every thousand yers (though it can also be awaked early), transforming into Rage Mode. Rage mode is the mindless rage monster that you'd Demon would be, rampaging and killing everything around itself until it is forced back to sleep. Belphemon X is even more destructive, but smarter and capable of leading armies of demonic Digimon. Belphemon's crest is dark blue and references the olympian spirit Phaleg, who was a mighty warrior and associated with Mars.

Belphemon Sleep Mode

Belphemon Rage Mode

Belphemon X

Belphemon's namesake is Belphegor, the demon associated with sloth in Christian demonology. He is said to tempt people into being lazy. Visually, Belphemon is based on Baphomet, a goat-headed demon that has become a popular symbol in multiple occult belief systems. While sometimes believed to be part of Christian demonology, Baphomet was most likely completely made up to slander the Knights Templar by telling people it was a god they worshipped.

The Demon Lord of greed is Barbamon. It is the most cunning of the seven and the foremost schemer. It is able to manipulate the extremely powerful Deathmon (who usually tries to remain neutral) into doing its bidding. While Barbamon preferes to manupulate others into doing its dirty work, it is fully capable of fighting by unleshing the flames of the Dark Area. Barbamon is driven by greed and would happily kill another Digimon just to get a new bauble. Not that he needs it or anything, he just wants it. Barbamon X merges his staff with his had to become an even more powerful sorcerer. Barbamon's crest is violet and references the olympic spirit Aratron, an alchemist associated with Saturn. To address the Elephantmon in the room, Yes, Barbamon is a greedy old man with a long nose. Yes, he looks like a Jewish stereotype. I don't know if those stereotypes are well known in Japan of if they have the same kind of negative connotations they do in the west. Japanese media occasionally uses negative stereotypes like this (for example, many anime and manga series have been criticized for using stereotypical depictions of black people) because they just don't have the same negative connotations there. Either way, it does make me uncomfortable.

Barbamon

Barbamon's namesake is Barbatos, a demon listed in the Lesser Key of Solomon who can understand the language of animals and reveal hidden treasures. The demon in Christian demonology normally associated with greed is Mammon. Digimon had to change it because there was already a Mammon (Mammothmon in english). Barbatos does still have the association with treasure that fits greed. visually, he is based on a wicked wizard.

If you ask Digimon fans what their favorite Demon Lord is, most will reply Beelzebumon, largely due to his role in Digimon Tamers, though him being a badass biker sertainly helps. The english dub shortened his name to Beelzemon, which I prefer. It rolls off the tongue easier. Beelzemon is the Demon Lord of gluttony, which is depicted here as an obsessive desire for more power, usually obtained by killing other Digimon and devouring their data. While cruel and merciless, Beelzemon does have a sense of pride and won't attack those who can't defend themselves. It also dislikes other Digimon who do bully the weak. It rides a motorcycle named Behemoth and dual-wields shotguns names Berenjena. Yes, that is the Spanish word for "eggplant", Digimon gives really random names sometimes. It was later established that the Berenjena were bult by the ultimate smith Vulcanusmon, who gives all his creations Spanish food names for whatever reason. Beelzemon can change into a more powerful form: Beelzemon Blast Mode, where he grows wings and swaps out one Berenjena for an arm-mounted ray gun named "Blaster". Leave the names to Volcanusmon, buddy. You're not very good at this. Despite becoming even more powerful, Beelzemon BM is calmer and less violent, possibly even on the path to redemption. Beelzemon Blast Mode is no longer a member of the Demon Lords. Beelzemon X gains the ability to summon El Evangelio, the sentient flames of the Dark Area that attack and punish sinners. While the flames try to attack Beelzemon X, he is so powerful he can forcibly subdue them and use them as his bullets. Beelzemon's crest is yellow and references the olympian spirit Hagith, who was extremely beautiful and associated with Venus.

Beelzemon

Beelzemon Blast Mode

Beelzemon X

Beelzemon's name comes from Beelzebub, a demon in Jewish and Christian demonology. The name comes from ba'al zebub, which means "lord of the flies". Beelzebub is associated with gluttony in Christian demonology, possibly due to flies feeding on feces. If it eats poop it must be gluttonous. One hypothesis about the origin of the character is that he started as a Philistine god names ba'al zebul, which means "lord of the heavenly dwelling". The Hebrews literally demonized the character and corrupted his name into ba'al zebul.

Last but not least is Lilithmon, Demon Lord of lust. She was given the name Laylamon in the English dub of Xros Wars, but otherwise retains her original name in English. She is a master manipulator that bewitches Digimon into falling toward evil and following her every whim. She is known as the dark goddess as she is kind and generous to evil Digimon, but cruel to and outraged by virtuous one. She perfers to fight by using summoning circles to conjure forth monsters, but it capable of fighting on her own. Her breath is corrosive and the claw on her right arm, the Nazar Nail, will corrode anything it scratches into nothing. Her most notable anime appearance was in Xros Wars where this incrdibly powerful mailator and Demon Lord was demoted into the sexy , incompetent, comic relief minion. One of many reasons I don't like Xros Wars. Fortunately, she got an appearance as a monster of the week in Ghost Game, where she was portrayed as much truer to what she should be. Lillithmon X can now turn ofter Digimon into her puppets and will drain them of their life as they work tirelessly following her will. It's worth noting that there's an unwritten rule of Digimon design that if a Digimon looks like a person in a costume, they will have a helmet or mask or something else that keeps you from seeing their full face. Lucemon and Lilithmon are the only exceptions to this rule. Her crest is green and references the olympian spirit Phul, a healer associated with the moon.

Lillithmon

Lilithmon X

Lilithmon's namesake is Lilith, a figure in Hebrew and Mesopotamian mythology. In Jewish folklore (not official sources, she is considered non-canonical by most Jewish authorities), she is the first wife of Adam, who was banished from the garden of eden for wanting to be treated as an equal to Adam instead of being subservient. After being banished from the garden, she became the first succubus and birthed many demons. A woman wanting to be treated as an equal probably would have been weird to a society as misogynistic as most of those in the ancient world. Lilith may have been an attempt to explain one of the contradictions between the genesis 1 and genesis 2 versions of the creation myth. In genesis 1, men and women (unnamed) are created together while in genesis 2, Adam is created before Eve. Lilith was likely used to explain this discrepancy. She was the unnamed woman created alongside Adam and Eve came later. Lilith likely also comes from older Mesopotamian mythology, which contains a race of feminine nocturnal bird demons called the lilitu. A figure that may be a proto-Lilith appears in the stories of Gilgamesh, where she lives in a magic tree. The demon associated with lust in Christian demonology is Asmodeus. Kind of gives the D&D Asmodeus's ruby rod a new meaning doesn't it? The name of the Nazar Nail comes form the nazar, an eye shaped amulet believed to ward off the evil eye. That doesn't have anything to do with a claw that dissolves thing, but, again, Digimon just gives weird names sometimes.

While the Demon Lords are fearsome on their own, when they come together, they create something immeasurably worse. This is Ogudumon, the super demon lord and fusion of all seven. It is the embodiment of all the sins of the Digital World, which makes it the ultimate evil, but also gives it to ability to atone for all sin. Because all sin exists within it, it can counteract any form of malice or evil from others. Because of this, only a being with no malice in their heart can harm Ogudumon. Ogudumon is a very weird creature, looking like some demonic starfish with seven legs. Each leg has an eye and it also has a head with its own eye. Each leg is impaled with a sword associated with one of the Demon Lords and bears that Demon Lord's crest. Ogudumon X tunrs the legs into tentacles with the powers of all the Demon Lords and its mere presence is destroying the world. Again, x-antibody is the edgelord's Digimon. Like Lucemon Satan mode, Ogudumon is based on the dragon of the book of revelation, but instead of having seven heads, it has (or rather, is) seven legs. Yeah, it's a weird one. Its name comes from the ogdoad, the Greek name for a group of 8 Egyptian gods who were considered to be in balance with each other.

Ogudumon

Ogudumon

[www-findringo-com]

From Afar

Yuno Grinberryall x Fem!reader

Since i changed my theme i think my banners and things should also change color, let me know what you think!

Cw- unchecked

Plot: Y/N Hanabi is a commoner who has always hated her fireworks magic even though the townsfolk have always praised her. As she grew up, a woman in her life changed her view completely, making her appreciate and slowly understand her "silly" magic.

Even if she started using her magic more, she had no interest in joining the magic knights, and yet during the elves' reincarnation, she helped save the people of the Clover Kingdom. This resulted in the Sorcery King noticing her and convincing her to join the knights, which, after many rejections, she. In the end. Took on the request and participated in the entrance exam a year after getting her grimoire. Once she joined the Blue Rose Knights, something or more like someone was going to completely change ,what once was, her daily routine.

Previous

Next

 The warm sunlight creeps in through the curtains and hits my eyes, making me wake up.

I groggily sat up straight, and as I rubbed an eye, I looked outside the windows, and I gasped. Dandelions. Everywhere. My mom ran into my room shouting : "Y/N, it's late. Wake up! You're gonna miss the grimoire acceptance ceremony!"

I groaned. I was happy to finally receive a grimoire, but couldn't it be in the afternoon and not at 8 in the morning! Hastily, I got ready. It was the middle of march, but the wind was as strong as ever, so dressing lightly was out of the question. Once I got dressed, I ran down the stairs and precipitated out of the door. Being late today of all days was just a big no-no.

The acceptance ceremony was held in a huge library just outside of my town on a hill filled with flowers. It was a sight for sore eyes. I loved hanging out on that hill. You could read in peace or also just admire the sky and take in the smell of the flowers and nature itself. I really liked that place. Since I was running late, I used a spark under my feet to make me jump up in the air and land on top of the hill next to the library as fast as possible. The breeze hitting my face was a nice way to wake me up. As I thought of that, I got distracted and landed face first on the back of someone. I fell to the ground, and the person I hit quickly turned around.

"Oh god. Are you okay?" I looked up to see a pretty girl with shoulder-length wavy golden brown hair, gentle green eyes, freckles, and the sweetest smile on earth. As I stared at her every detail, she faked coughs as a way to wake me up from my trance. I grabbed her hand quickly and answered: "Uh, yeah! I'm fine, but are you okay? That was a pretty heavy hit, " she chuckled as she pulled me up from the ground. She winked at me and said: "Oh, that was nothing really, I'm blessed with mana, so it was easy to shield!" I giggled alongside her, but as she said that, I couldn't help but notice the overbearing amount of mana pressuring me down. Who was this girl?

"Uhm, I'm Y/N Hanabi. Nice to meet you. " With the hand that was interlocked with hers, I shook it, awaiting a response. "Oh! I'm Serene. It's a pleasure to meet you Y/N, so can I consider you my friend now?" I gave her a smile and a nod in response as she chuckled and started jumping around. Soon after, we noticed everyone had gone inside. I tensed up, grabbed Serene's hand, and ran inside the library not to miss the ceremony. Inside, it was full of people from all around the kingdom. Poor them. They probably had to journey for many days to get here. Luckily, I lived right next to it. Perks of the common realm!

"Welcome youngins! Today, for everyone here, starts a new, meaningful way. I wish for each of you Loyalty, Hope and Love."

An old guy with a pointy hat and a huge beard showed up and spoke to us, to announce the ceremony.

" I am the master of the Grimoire Tower." And that's who he was. Wow, thanks. "We've never had a wizard king from around these parts before or even anyone who stood out for their work in the magic knights. I hope with all my might, that one day one of you will become the wizard king." That was a nice thought of his wasn't it, except right after he lashed out like a crazed animal "REALLY THOUGH, I HOPE IT HAPPENS!" Everyone stood silent for a few seconds before the Tower Master announced the beginning of the actual grimoire acceptance ceremony.

As soon as he finished talking, some of the books from the shelves started glowing with different colors such as red, green, yellow, blue, purple, orange, gray, and different shades of the same colors. A red light landed near my face, and a grimoire with a dark red cover and golden details and three-leaf clover enlightened my face. The details were the same as the ones on the kimono the foreigner had left me. As I looked at it, I could feel my eyes swell in tears, but I quickly washed them away. It was stupid to cry for such a stupid thing anyway.

People started cheering when they noticed two grimoires emanating lots of mana and having printed on the front and back a four-leaf clover. One grimoire was green with golden details, while the other was black with lots of silver details and drawings on it, almost as if it was a royal's. The green one landed on this peasant kid, the guy was tall, skinny, with black messy hair and golden eyes. If I hadn't gotten distracted by the oo-ing of Serene, I would have kept staring at that handsome kid. As I was saying, I was distracted by the oo-ing of Serene. When I turned to face her, the black grimoire was in her hands. She started screeching and jumping around like a child. She turned to me all happy and shouted, " Y/N! Did you see this!" I giggled at her child-like behavior. It was refreshing to see someone like that even though we were the same age. But, unlike her, the other four-leaf clover grimoire holder wasn't as enthusiastic. As soon as she held the book in her hands, the other guy started aiming a wind shot at her. Once it fired, Serene's grimoire floated off her hands and lit up. Immediately it opened and a spell wrote itself under her eyes. The wind arrow was so close to her, and suddenly, she put her hand out and absorbed it, transforming it into a ball of magic. She did a twirl and launched what once was an arrow of wind, and now became a ball of fire in the air. The magic scattered, transforming from free fire into little fire butterflies and sparkles that floated around the tower, leaving the rest of the grimoire receivers in awe at the sight.

"What a magnificent display of magic from our four-leaf clovers!" The old geezer chuckled. Creepy. "It's people like them that will make it and become wizard king one day, i know it!" The guy kept speaking and suddenly Serene shouted .

"Even if I have no care about becoming wizard king, I will protect this kingdom with every single drop of my magic. Until my mana dissolves my entire being, I will not stop helping the people of this land. So you can count on me!"

Oh, she's so cool. People cheered at Serene's speech, and just like a spell, everyone's magic seemed to rise just thanks to it. The other four-leaf guy just shook his head and rolled his eyes. What a jerk, a handsome one, but still a jerk. This was a very inspiring and beautiful moment and after a bit everyone started leaving. But, suddenly, someone spoke up.

"U-Uhm! My grimoire hasn't come yet!"

We all turned to face the origin of that squeaky voice only to be met by this pretty short kid with dirty silver hair and green eyes, still in a weird pose with his hands up in the air. As if expecting something. I couldn't help but chuckle. I was cursed with this lowly magic, but from him, I sensed no magic at all. Was it really possible, in a world where magic meant everything, to be born without it? I pitied him. Soon after, the old guy spoke to answer him, "Uhm- You can try again next year!"

And the other kids around us started laughing at him. Absolute jerks, come on, poor guy! Well, I was about to chuckle before, but I would never laugh in his face. That's just mean. I was about to tear up for him. He looked distraught, almost as if getting his grimoire meant his whole life. As the guy had his reality check, I could hear that the voice of some of the kids who laughed got muffled. I turned around to check why, and I was met with an angry Serene using her magic to cover the mouths of the jerks who were laughing at him. That girl was so nice she should have become the icon of good people, she was just amazing!

After some time everyone started leaving, and so did Serene and I. "Poor guy, I hope he gets an easy life. " I spoke up, but Serene quickly countered: "You know, I have a feeling he's going to become a pain in the ass for the nobles of this kingdom. He'll become the greatest I’m sure of it!" In her eyes, there was a shine that could make the biggest star seem invisible. She stopped and faced the hill. After a while of standing in silence, she sat down and gestured for me to sit next to her. I got behind her, and my breath hitched. The view in front of us was majestic: the wind made dandelions fly across the sky, and the sound of the trees rustling was all I could hear. Everything was picturesque, adorned with a background of the prettiest pink sunset. I turned my head to look at Serene, and if the view wasn't already breathtaking, she would have been the cherry on top. The wind ruffled her hair, letting her pretty green eyes be the focus of the beautiful painting in front of me.

I was gawking until she spoke up: "You know why I think that manaless kid is going to surpass everyone?" She turned to face me, and I could see that her face had this small grin printed on it. The gentle light of the sunset hit her face, making her look very golden-ish. Her beauty was at the same level as the foreigner, and I could feel my heart flutter. Only then did I realize she was asking me a question, so I answered: "U-uhm... No?" She chuckled.``Well, it's because I can tell he strives for more. He'll work more than anyone and get so much more than he expected, I feel it in my soul!" She kept giggling, and I sighed. In the end, she is still a child at heart. We spent another hour on that hill, talking and laughing about stupid stuff. It almost seemed as if we had known each other since forever, yet i had met her that same day.

Once it started to be really dark, Serene walked me home, and from there, we parted with the hope of meeting up again soon. I opened the door to my house, only to be met by confetti and balloons. Congratulations, Y/N! Was written on the festive banner hanging on the wall right in front of the door. "Congrats!" My family chirped in, all smiley. I gave them a smile and walked in, letting myself be showered with praise and compliments by my family and our neighbors. It was hard to admit, but I really enjoyed all that attention. "Big sister Y/N, can we see your grimoire!" One of the kids from my town spoke up, and then everyone joined in asking for me to show my magic. And so I did. My grimoire lit up in a shade of red, and, just like Serene, a spell wrote under my eyes. I quickly read it, and without a second thought, I shot like a string of fire that caught the kid who had asked to see my grimoire. The spell had him sit on it as the string of fire took the shape of a cross. It flew out the door and up into the air before exploding into a big cross-like firework, and the kid slowly fell from the sky, admiring the sparkes it was releasing. Then I lifted my arm up, and coloured clouds formed right under the kid, making him stop from falling and slowly bringing him to the ground. The townsfolk sat in awe at my magic, and I could tell that they were impressed. "This has always been my magic, but with the grimoire I'm going to be able to do lots of things!" I gave them a grin from ear to ear that made everyone lit up. And with that the party started. As we were eating and playing, one of my neighbors walked up to me and asked me something: " Are you going to join the magic knights now?"

I sat there in silence for a few seconds until I uttered something that I may regret: " No actually, it would be a waste of time. But if the kingdom needs it, I'll gladly protect my people!" I smiled and went off to play with the younger kids.

The celebrations went on for the whole night and the next morning I was exhausted. But the rest of the town? Oh they were JUST FINE?? I mean good for them yeah, but that energy is draining to just look at.

And that was the first chapter!!! I hope you guys will like. If you do enjoy the series and wish to see more stuff written by me please follow me and feel free to send requests! Anyways on the other note i feel like there might be something hidden between y/n and serene like a zing.....

I decided to publish once a week on sunday but maybe next week i won't be able to post because i'm going on vacation, but I'll do my best!!! Don't forget to leave me your thoughts of the chapter. Bye-Bye

- Ringo

[outofangband]

in response to an ask from @justpostsyeet about what Laws and Customs of the Eldar say about sexual assault

under a cut for non graphic discussion of this!

also thank you to @undercat-overdog for helping me find the relevant passage that I literally had memorized but could not find (seriously I spent like an hour reading through Morgoth's Ring and could not find the part I needed, my fault for researching when half asleep but anyways, Undercat saved this post!)

The ask: Hi, hope your having a good day/night (maybe this request doesn't worsen your day). I honestly love your posts and I've a thing that I want to ask to you.

Maybe you has done this before but what do you think the elves view on sexaul assault must be?

And even if it's true what must be the reaction of elves when the a) hear about such news, b) witness such cruelty, c) experiences such awful things themselves .

I know it's a very sensitive topic and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable so, ignore it if you want. I've my own headcanons but I just wanted to know your opinions.

My response: this does not worsen my day! I'm sure you know this from my posts but I write a lot of darker topics and I'm fine discussing this! Indeed, I enjoy discussing darker topics, I can find it very cathartic to write about

Thank you so much for the ask and for thinking of me!

The concept that elves cannot survive sexual assault comes from Laws and Customs of the Eldar, an essay style section of Morgoth's Ring, in the Histories of Middle Earth. In LaCE, as it's often known, Ælfwine, or Elfwine, a pre canon character in The legendarium is credited with the editing of this text as well as other parts of the histories of Middle Earth adding another aspect of meta to it.  

LaCE is a controversial essay. Many consider it to be precanon or non canon. Others consider it an in universe philosophical or religious work rather than biological facts or universal standards for the elves. I think this interpretation is probably accurate

The relevant part you're talking about is a footnote in response to this line of LaCE Even when  in after days as the history is reveal many of the Eldar in Middle Earth became corrupted and their hearts darkened by the Shadow that lies upon Arda seldom is any tale told of Deeds of lust among them.

The footnote reads ...But among all those evils there is no record of any among the elves that took another spouse by force for this was wholly against their nature and one so forth would have rejected bodily life and passed to Mandos. Guile or trickery in this matter was scarcely possible even if it could be thought that any elf would purpose to use for it; for the Eldar can read in the eyes of another whether they be wed or unwed 

I agree with you that it's probably not the case that sexual violence instantly leads to death.

I think it's fun to play around with whether or not LaCE is a, canon or b, strict biological law! Generally I go with it not being so but there is a lot of fascinating ideas that can be explored, if often horrifying ones, treating it like that! (the idea that elves can tell in the eyes of another if they're married or not is FASCINATING even if the idea that such a phenomena would prevent sexual violence is...troublesome...)

On the basis of LaCE not being biological law though, there are a few possibilities for this inclusion (note: these are in universe possibilities, not a complete list of reasons why Tolkien might have included it)

a, an in universe narrator trying to mitigate or cover up the fact that this did indeed occur

b, as in most versions he appears in, Ælfwine is not an elf but a human, this could simply be an idealistic notion or misconception or even misunderstanding or mistranslation

c, sexual violence is a taboo subject in many human cultures, it's certainly not implausible that it was treated similarly the elves. Even if it's not an attempt to cover up actions by well known figures in the history of the Eldar, it could be a denial of cultural traumas or a refusal to reckon with a certain kind of pain

The fact that it specifically reads 'no record of any taking the spouse of another by force' is somewhat strange. Obviously, non married people can be the victims of assault (and people can be victimized by those they're married to; it's worth noting here that Tolkien did seem to realize both, some of the primary, and only, instances of rape in the legendarium are instances of marital rape)

A...generous reading is that it is worded like this because the footnote appears in relevance to the section about marriage and this is meant to discuss specifically how certain trauma affects the marital bond, something that LaCE defines as a spiritual and physical matter.

(Plenty of horror you could potentially explore there; spouses actually feeling the pain and trauma of their partners due to this bond, whether trauma from this kind of violence or other)

What I do think is true is that elves have a stronger connection between body and mind and soul and that severe trauma of any kind can lead to physical consequences up to, including and beyond death of the body. This is of course not unheard of in humans, stress takes a physical toll. But for elves I think this connection is perhaps more profound.

This is not limited to sexual assault and indeed most of the instances we see of this in canon are not related to sexual assault.

It's worth noting that there are some troublesome aspects of Tolkien's wording. Obviously the linking of sexual assault and lust is not entirely accurate. Desire and lust often do not play a role in sexual violence; power and control perhaps being more pertinent. Then of course the fact that it says 'no record of one taking the spouse of another by force' is also questionable as I talked about above.

In conclusion, I think like the rest of LaCE, it makes more sense as the philosophy of one group or individual rather than biological reality.

Finally, I'll note that the two primary examples I can think of in the works of victims of sexual violence who "choose" death or at least leaving body or life in some form or another are not elves but are Aerin, a human, and Arien, a Maia (Arien's example also not being strictly canon), both of whom choose fire. (also I think that whether or not Aerin died is actually ambiguous and is certainly not definite, that being said the idea that she did is a perfectly plausible reading) Also why are their names so similar...

[where-dreamers-go]

"That Happened" Bridge Carson x Reader

(A/N: I knew there was an insert reader I forgot to type!!! Found it. Ready? Reader has a crush on Bridge and somehow gets involved in a conversation with the Rangers.

Warnings: (Y/L/N) is used in place of your last name.

Word Count: 464 words)

Working at Space Patrol Delta was more of a lifestyle mixed with a career. You slept there at Headquarters; ate, drank, and any other necessity.

Life in S.P.D. was hard work and had plenty of opportunity for fun. It wasn’t all stressful. You had a life. And that life involved living with Power Rangers.

A group of Earth’s protectors who also had a life within Headquarters. All with unique personalities.

One personality in particular made you want to kick your feet in the air and sigh dreamily.

How can someone that smart and caring also be adorable and handsome? And a Power Ranger. You thought as you glanced up from your book. Him and his warm brown eyes.

Off towards the center of the common area, the B Squad Power Rangers were in the middle of a conversation; a debate, really. Something about painting and possibly cheating.

Honestly, you weren’t sure how they verged on the topic in the first place. No one was actively painting or viewing an art piece. You guessed it was random conversation.

“They’re artists,” Sky said as he leaned back on the couch, “they shouldn’t need it.”

“Heh.” You flipped a paper in your book.

Typical, you thought. Shame though.

There was a few moments of a unanimous pause in speech. Expressions and glances passed around the Rangers while words in front of you caught your attention.

“Cadet (Y/L/N),” Sky spoke up, “do you have something to add?”

Peering over your book, you nodded. Much to the delight of the Rangers, such a friendly bunch.

“Yes or no for artists using tape,” Z clarified in case you weren’t sure of the nature of the debate.

Easy, you thought.

“Yes,” you said.

Sydney gave Sky a triumphant look.

“Tape is a tool,” you continued. “Like a ruler, like an eraser, and a brush.”

You kept your composure, confident in your reasoning even as a pair of brown eyes were fully engaged in you. Bridge’s gaze.

Swallowing, you added, “It’s strange to expect artists to draw or paint a straight line free handed because of their skillset. What, a carpenter can’t use a level or a tape measure? A scientist can’t reference a book? A baker can’t use measuring cups?” You smiled. “Tape is simply a tool.”

Cadet Tate pursed his lips, bested in your logic. The other Rangers had a tamed celebration for the end of the conversation.

Yet that didn’t hold your gaze. Not for long. You looked to Bridge, attentive as ever and still looking at you with ease.

An air of confidence and satisfaction surrounded Cadet Carson.

With a small smile, Bridge winked.

Caught by surprise, you ducked your head behind the open book as heat rose to your neck.

Oh, that happened.

~~~

(If you love my writings and want to support me, I have a Ko-Fi where you can buy me a coffee. I would be eternally grateful.

coffee

Best wishes and happy reading.)

~~~~~

DreamerDragon Tags: @cubedtriangle

**Let me know if you would like to be tagged in insert readers, either through replies, ask, or message.**

[frodothefair]

Say, here's something to ponder, Shire-wise. what pests bother hobbit holes more vs. a normal house? like i'd imagine they'd have a lot more mole and groundhog troubles than men houses would, but then there's things so common like mice that would just use a different (but not all that different) a technique to pester hobbits in their plentiful pantries. sure the average hobbit hole isn't a 'nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell', but that doesn't mean the Shire is in lala-land where the inconveniences of nature never ever happen, you know? Middle Earth is, well, earthy! If you live in a hole made of the stuff, there's bound to be a critter or two you gotta keep an eye out for more than you would if ya lived on top of the stuff.

💐 ASK ME about my headcanons about hobbits and the Shire! 💐 Want to know if yours has been answered? Check here.

Oh, absolutely, there are probably plenty of pests to worry about in the Shire!

First, I totally agree with your idea about burrowing animals, such as moles and groundhogs. One other common pest would be rabbits! When building or expanding a hobbit hole, it is very important to be aware of any rabbit warrens in the area, and land in the vicinity of a rabbit colony often goes for far cheaper, considering that the rabbits could expand their turf, and end up in your kitchen!

Secondly (and this part is going to be gross), as far as I know, basements in our world can attract a multitude of insects, including spiders, cockroaches, centipedes, millipedes, silverfish, beetles, and ants. I imagine the same is true in the Shire, and ants in particular can be a menace, because they also live underground, and just like the rabbits, an ant colony can expand into an unsuspecting hobbit's dwelling.

As an aside, any discussion of hobbit hole pests is not complete without a discussion of how hobbit holes are built. In general, the oldest and most basic (read: budget) hobbit holes were simply literal holes in the ground with earthen walls, but later on, anyone who could possibly afford it used a range of materials to line the insides of their homes -- from stone, to wood, to plaster and a prototype of cement. Thicker walls were of course more desirable, considering that they kept more pests out.

(photo source: artstation.org)