#and people keep telling me i look fine and i shouldn't worry about it but i can't i just can't
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i need everyone to understand that i am trying my best and i hate every second of it.
#🪟#[three of swords]#sorry i just need to complain don't worry about it.#everyone hates me and if they dont they will and i am going to die because of it and they're going to kill me and i will deserve it.#sighs okay i know that's not true everyone's telling me that's not true and i know. i know. it's just the avpd i /know/.#yes we have a facet who is self awareness i know im being irrational. however i am like mental illness personified so it's. hard.#we're trying so hard. oh my god it's so difficult and our trying looks like nothing is happening and it's never going to be enough and#okay. i /know/. not true. it's constantly just spiking and then trying to calm myself down. i wish the self-awareness made it easier!#it's a constant ''[REALLY BAD THOUGHT]'' ''no it's okay.'' ''[REALLY BAD THOUGHT]'' ''that won't happen'' ''[REALLY B#having to constantly catch myself. is that normal that can't be the normal experience this is excruciating.#if it turns out im holding more than one disorder im going to. okay i'm not going to do that. but i will handle it very badly.#nothing's even happening!! but whenever i think about us talking to people i want to vomit from anxiety? but i know it's not that bad but#im a skill with too many points. im only supposed to withdraw when our social battery is overwhelmed. im meant to remind us to take time#for ourselves when we need to. and i do that. but something fucked me up. im bad now im wrong im a detriment im too overwhelmed when i#shouldn't be i just keep wanting to withdraw and our intrusive thoughts get so /bad/ because of me and all im doing is hurting the system..#im trying im trying im trying i know facets in the system want to socialize good god im trying to let them.#but also i need to walk directly into the ocean until i fucking d#NO fuck AUGH it's so hard!! okay okay that's it im sorry im sorry i just had to. talk about it. don't worry this is fine it's fine.#sigh. okay. it's okay. i'm okay. god this'll probably last until tomorrow im sorry. and i know people are willing to wait for us#they shouldn't have to they should jjust fucking OKAY someone else take over please..
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#i don't really like my body and i don't feel like myself in my body#i don't liked my face or my hair or my body or my personality and i find it hard to believe others like me#i'm annoying and loud and weird#i kinda hate myself#and it's sad it's really sad because i should like my body and i'm trying so hard to accept myself for who i am but i can't i just can't#and people keep telling me i look fine and i shouldn't worry about it but i can't i just can't#i don't like anything about myself at all i truly don't#im ugly and too weird and i'm fucking annoying!#i'm a people pleaser yet i still can't please anyone and it's fucking annoying!
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House Rules - A.H
summary: bimbo!asssitant!reader hasn't been answering her phone all day, hotch needs her to clarify something about a case report, or at least that's what he tells himself when he shows up at her house
masterlist
pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader
warnings: reader wearing some skimpy pjs, pre-relationship pining, hotch trying to act like he's not madly in love with reader
wc: 3.3k
Hotch wasn't sure why he'd expected your house to be normal. He chalked up his misjudgment on the haze of old injuries, the kind of logic that gets muddled when you've bled out on too many occasions. Because standing on your porch, staring at the pale pink door with a glittering Home Sweet Home sign dangling from the handle, he realized how spectacularly wrong he'd been.
It suited you, he realized. He could almost picture you hanging it there, humming to yourself and adjusting it three times before deciding it was just right.
It wasn't a social call. At least, that's what Hotch told himself repeatedly, as though the words might drown out the irrational knot of worry in his stomach. You hadn't answered your phone all day, and that was strange for you. It was your day off, yes, but normally you were over-communicative to a fault, texting emojis when a simple yes would have sufficed, or leaving voicemail messages that somehow turned into tangents about your neighbor's cat, your favorite polish color, or the iced coffee you'd spilled that morning.
But today? Nothing. No texts. No calls. Nothing.
His rational mind told him you were fine. Phones die, phones get left behind, people turn them off to take a break. But when it came to you, the rational part of him always seemed to lose ground to the side of him he didn't care to admit existed—the side that careful just a little bit more than he should have.
He knocked.
After a second, he heard the unmistakable sound of your voice yelling a muffled coming!
The door opened, and there you stood, wearing something that could only be called pajamas by the loosest of definitions—shorts that left far too much skin exposed and a matching top that hugged your chest like it was afraid to let go. Your hair was loose and slightly messy, framing your face, and your bare feet peeked out from under the door.
"Oh!" You froze and looked at him like he had fallen from the sky. "Hotch! What are you doing here?"
Hotch cleared his throat and he tried, tried, to keep his eyes glued to your face. It was harder than it should have been—his brain wasn't helping, already memorizing every detail of your appearance that he knew he shouldn't have noticed.
"Do you always answer the door like this?"
"Like what?"
"Dressed like..." He hesitated, jaw clenching as he searched his vocabulary for a word that wouldn't sound entirely inappropriate. "Dressing like that. Without knowing who is on the other side."
"Hotch," you said, smiling slightly. "I could tell it wasn't a stranger."
"How?" he asked flatly, raising a brow. "Because if you tell me it was a feeling, I'm going to be very disappointed in you."
"So what are you doing here?"
You ignored him, smiling innocently as though he hadn't spoken at all.
He almost started to lecture you—about answering doors, about caution, about everything—but the words died before they reached his tongue. You were fine. Perfectly fine. Not injured, not in danger, not lying in a hospital bed or worse—just standing there, unharmed, while he tried to shake off the residual tension of imaging all of the worst-case scenarios he'd been wrestling with the past hour.
"You weren't answering your phone." His voice came out sharper than he meant, but he didn't correct it.
You stared at him before letting out an incredulous laugh. "Okay, but like... that's usually not cause for a wellness check."
"It's unusual for you."
His own voice sounded defensive in his ears, and he winced inwardly.
Your lips shot upwards as if you had discovered his game, leaning on the door frame with your arms crossed. "Aw, were you worried about me, bossman?"
His response didn't come as quickly as it usually did, his eyes scanning your face like he was trying to decipher something. "I needed to confirm something about the case report."
"Sure, you did." You tilted your head, smile widening as you let the words linger. "Well, since you're already here, might as well come in. I'd hate for you to leave empty-handed."
Hotch hesitated. The professional part of him—the one that lived and breathed protocol—told him to stay outside, finish his excuse, and leave. Normally, he wouldn't have thought twice about saying yes to an invitation like this. He'd done it for Morgan, for Emily, even Spencer without a second thought. But this wasn't them. This was you. But then you gave him that look— raised eyebrows, half a grin, daring him to prove you wrong—and against better judgment, he stepped inside.
The inside of your house was... well, it was you.
It wasn't messy, but it wasn't neat either. It was softer than he expected. Fluffy throw blankets over the couch with heart shaped pillows. On the coffee table, a collection of framed photos—pictures of you with friends, family, and even what looked to be an embarrassing prom photo.
"So?" You moved across the room, draping yourself onto the arm of the couch like a cat in the sun, one leg swinging lazily. "What's the big emergency, Hotchner?"
"I told you," he replied, squinting his eyes at you as if that would somehow change your attitude. It wouldn't. He knew from experience. "The case report. You stapled the wrong attachment to it. I need to know where the correct file is."
"Uh-huh," you said, squinting your own eyes back as if to mock him. "And this couldn't just wait until the morning? You sure you didn't just miss me?"
His brow furrowed. "Why would I--"
You were on your feet in an instant, wagging a finger at him like he'd crossed a sacred line. "Don't you dare finish that sentence, Hotchner!"
He blinked, staring at you like you'd just started reciting Shakespeare for no reason.
"You'll hurt my feelings," you said matter-of-factly. "And then I'll have no choice to pout. You'll feel guilty, you always do. And to make it up to me, you'll bring coffee tomorrow. So honestly, let's just skip all that and pretend you never wanted to finish that sentence."
He exhaled through his nose. "I was going to say, why would I miss you when I see you nearly every day?"
"Good." The smile was back on your face in a way that, annoyingly, made him feel better. "Because it's my day off, and you're forbidden from being mean to me on my day off."
"Are you implying I'm mean to you on your regular days?"
You tapped your chin as if seriously considering it. "Not mean, exactly... maybe a little grumpy sometimes."
Hotch huffed. "I'm grumpy with you?"
"Sometimes," you said with a shrug. "But it's okay. I like all your sides—even the grumpy one."
"I'm not grumpy with you," he replied, shaking his head. "If anything, I'm nicer to you than I should be."
"You big softie."
Hotch felt his lips twitch, and he hated how much effort it took to keep from smiling. He was not a soft person. He wasn't the type to let people get under his skin, and yet here you were managing to do it with a single sentence. Worse, he didn't exactly dislike it. In fact, it felt... oddly welcome.
It was different from how you were at work—though, in fairness, you weren't exactly buttoned-up in the office, either.
"Did you make those?" He glanced briefly at the tray of cookies in the kitchen.
Your face lit up and you practically bounded over to the counter, grabbing the tray and holding it up like a trophy. "Yep! Chocolate chip. Want one?"
Hotch hesitated for a second, then followed you into the kitchen, his gaze sweeping over the space despite himself. He didn't mean to do it—it wasn't intentional—but the part of him trained to notice every detail, every inconsistency, was already at work. Old habits die hard, or something like that.
The kitchen suited you. Soft pastel hues and floral details everywhere. Pink pots and pans hung along the wall, a lace-trimmed over mitt dangling from a hook shaped like a star. Fresh flowers—peonies or roses—he wasn't sure, sat in a vase on the counter.
He shook his head, trying—and failing—to shut off that instinct to analyze. But it was almost automatic, his mind piecing things together, like the organization of the baking tools and the open cookbook, pages slightly smudged.
"Are you just gonna stand there, or are you gonna grab one?"
He looked at you, then at the cookies, and finally took one with a small nod of thanks. "You bake often?"
He didn't really need to ask—you felt far too comfortable in this space for the answer to be anything but yes.
"Oh, all the time," you said, turning to put the tray back down. "It's, like, my stress reliever. Plus, it makes the house smell amazing. Not that I'm, like, stressed or anything--just saying. It's a hobby. A cute hobby."
He bit into the cookie, ignoring the sweetness for a second as he glanced around again. The pink gingham tablecloth on the island, the mugs arranged by color.
"Anything else you need? Or can I get back to my cookies and reality TV?"
He glanced toward the TV, where some kind of dramatic argument was unfolding on screen, and then back to you. "You should charge your phone."
"Yes, Daddy," you said, before going stiff. "No! I didn’t mean—like—not that Daddy. Just… regular Dad."
His body went rigid, his jaw tightening as he forced himself not to react, shoving the thought out of his mind before it could take hold.
"Right," he said finally, voice rougher than usual. "Charge your phone."
Hotch stepped toward the door, his hand already reaching for the handle when your voice stopped him.
"No, Hotch's don't leave!" you said, your voice dipping into a whine that should've been annoying. "I'm bored!"
Keep word—should.
He turned back, brows lifted. "Bored?"
"Yes, bored," you said, flopping back onto the couch with a dramatic sigh. "I've already watched two hours of reality TV, ate like, five cookies, and had an entire conversation with myself while I folded laundry. And now you're here, and I haven't had company in forever, and you're just gonna leave me all alone?"
“Forever,” he repeated dryly. “So the 24 hours since I saw you at work?”
"That doesn't count. Work doesn't count as, like, real social interaction. It's work."
He gave you a look—one of those deadpan, unreadable stares that was meant to shut down further argument. That obviously didn't work.
"You're really going to leave me all alone? In my time of need? I thought you cared about me, Hotch."
"You're not in your time of need."
"Emotionally, I am," you said, crossing your arms and leaning back like you’d just made the world’s most convincing argument. "Please, Aaron? Just hang out with me for a little bit. One show. It'll make my whole day."
The way you said his name—Aaron—hit him in a way that felt decidedly too intimate, too casual, too... something. He clenched his jaw briefly, trying to shake off the sensation as he shot you another look.
"Since when do you call me that?"
"Since now," you replied with a shrug, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It suits you."
His brows furrowed. "It's my name."
"Exactly," you said, leaning forward. "We're not at work. You came into my house. It's all casual here. You're Aaron now. Just go with it."
“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works,” he replied, though his voice lacked conviction.
"It does now," you said, patting the couch beside you. "So, Aaron, are you gonna sit down? Just ten minutes."
With a reluctant sigh, he lowered himself onto the couch, his posture still stiff.
"Wow," you said, scooting so close that your thigh pressed against his. "I didn't think that was actually going to work."
You leaned across the coffee table to grab a blanket, shorts riding up with the motion. Hotch's eyes darted away immediately, landing on the far corner of the room as though it held something deeply fascinating.
His hand clenched into a fist on his thigh, nails pressing into his palm. His knuckles whitened slightly as he tried to force his thoughts back into neutral territory, focusing on his breathing instead of the shape of your ass.
By the time you turned back, oblivious, and tossed the blanket over both of you, he'd managed to school his face into its usual unreadable expression—though he couldn't quite fix the pressure building in his chest.
"So," you began, holding up the remote, "what's it gonna be? Reality TV? A baking show? Or, oh, those ones where they renovate houses, but everything goes horribly wrong."
"You pick." He shifted, trying to put even an inch more space between you, but you didn't seem to notice, too preoccupied with tucking the blanket around you both.
"Okay, but don't blame me if you get hooked. I'm just saying, this stuff is addictive."
He leaned back shaking his, but his focus never really landed on the TV. Instead, it stayed on you—laughing at the wrong moments, gasping dramatically at plot twists, and making snarky commentary under your breath.
"You know," you said suddenly, glancing over at him with a sly smile, "you're kind of cute when you're pretending to relax."
"Do you ever stop talking?" he asked, though the lack of bite in his tone made it sound almost too fond.
"Nope," you said cheerfully, pulling the blanket tighter around you. “Consider it part of the package.”
Hotch didn't respond, his attention shifting back to the screen—or at least, that's what he told himself. But as the minutes stretched into fifteen, then twenty, he realized he wasn't in any hurry to leave.
You fell asleep thirty minutes later.
Hotch wasn't surprised. Between the pile of blankets, you'd wrapped yourself in and the way you'd curled up on the couch like it was your safe haven, it was a miracle you'd lasted that long. He'd noticed your eyelids drooping about five minutes earlier, your commentary fading into soft hums of acknowledgment as you sank deeper into the cushions.
The room was quiet now except for the sound of the TV. He shifted in his seat, glancing over at you. You were entirely still, your breathing slow. Your hair had fallen across your face, and the blanket had slipped off your shoulder, leaving your tank top askew.
It was weird, seeing you like this. You, who were always moving and talking and saying things he never really knew how to respond to. Now you looked so soft, completely oblivious to how much space you were taking up in his head.
He told himself to leave. Just slip out, lock the door, and let you sleep. That would’ve been the smart thing. The right thing. But he didn’t. Maybe it was the thought of you waking up, groggy and alone, wondering where he’d gone. Or maybe it was the realization that you were still his responsibility, even outside of work.
He leaned forward reluctantly, one hand brushing the blanket back over your shoulder. He told himself it was just a gentlemanly gesture, the kind anyone would do, but the second his fingers grazed you, he froze.
You murmured something under your breath, unintelligible really, your head shifting as you face turned toward him. He snatched his hand back like he'd touched something scalding.
"Come on," he muttered under his breath. He slid one arm beneath your knees and the other around your back, lifting you easily.
Your head fell against his shoulder the second he straightened. He swallowed. Your bedroom. Where was it? He glanced down the hall. Left or right? The door slightly ajar felt like the most obvious choice, and sure enough, when he nudged it open with his foot, he found himself standing right where he anticipated.
Pinks, florals, lace-trimmed, well, everything. The bed was covered in more pillows than he could count in every possible shade of pastel. It smelled like you—roses and vanilla, with something sweeter lingering underneath, like sugar from a bakery.
But then his eyes snagged on the rack of nightgowns against the far wall, like it wasn't about to cause an existential crisis.
Lace. Sheer. Satin.
He shouldn't be looking at them. He knew he shouldn't be looking at them, and yet... he couldn't stop. The imagine of you wearing one slipped into his mind before he could stop it. That was a problem—he could see you in them, and now he had to wrestle with that mental image while pretending to be a gentleman.
He bit down on the inside of his check, hard enough to sting, and forced himself to look back at the bed. This wasn’t the time—or the place—for thoughts like that. Hell, there wasn’t ever a time for them.
He eased you onto the mattress, his hands far softer than he thought himself capable of. He straightened, watching as you instinctively curled into the covers, your hair fanning across the pillow like some picture-perfect cliché.
Then you stirred, eyes fluttering open just enough to meet his.
"Hotch?" you murmured, your voice thick with sleep.
"It's okay," he said softly. "Go back to sleep."
You blinked slowly, gaze still hazy. "You're still here?"
"I didn't want to leave you on the couch. You looked too uncomfortable."
Your lips curved into a small, sleepy smile as you sank back into the pillows. "That's... sweet. I didn't think you did stuff like that."
He huffed softly, shaking his head. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me."
Your smile widened lazily, your half-lidded eyes sparkling with amusement. "Mysterious and chivalrous. You’re gonna ruin my whole perception of you.”
"Sleep," he said firmly, though there was no real heat behind the command.
Your gaze shifted past him, landing on the rack against the wall.
"Did you see those?" you asked. He hesitated—too long for it to go unnoticed—and your grin turned sly. "You did see them, didn't you?"
"They're hard to miss," he admitted, his voice carefully neutral.
"Bet you weren't expecting that, huh?" you teased, leaning your head against the pillow. “So? Thoughts?”
"I think," he said evenly, "you ask too many questions when you’re supposed to be sleeping.”
You laughed softly, the sound trailing off like a dream. “You’re dodging, Aaron. I didn’t know you could dodge.”
He sighed, stepping back as though the distance might save him. "You're good at this."
"Good at what?"
"Pushing buttons," he replied. “You’re a natural.”
"And yet, you're still here."
He didn't have the words for that. Because you were right, and he didn't know what to do about that.
Your eyes fluttered closed, your body slackening into the bed, and he thought you were asleep.
Then you spoke again, quieter this time, as if testing the words before committing to them. “Why’d you really come here?”
He stilled. "I told you. You weren't answering your phone. The case report."
The explanation felt flimsy, even to him, and he hated how obvious it sounded.
"That's not it," you whispered, your eyes still closed. "You could've just waited until tomorrow. You didn't have to check on me. But you did."
Hotch didn’t move, his breath catching as he studied you. Your face, relaxed and peaceful, gave no indication whether you knew what kind of mess you were making of him in that moment.
“It’s okay,” you mumbled, the faintest hint of a smile brushing your lips. "I think I like it when you worry about me. Feels nice."
You didn’t say anything else, your breathing softening as sleep took over again.
Hotch stayed where he was, rooted to the spot. Your words replayed like a deadly loop in his head.
He finally tore his gaze away, stepping back and slipping out of the room with careful movements. He closed the door behind him as softly as he could, but even then, the sound felt too loud.
For a second, he lingered in the hallway, staring at door like it might offer him some form of an answer. He'd drawn a line with you a thousand times in his head, a boundary he vowed not to cross. And yet, like you said, he was still here, standing in your home.
He shook his head and turned toward the front door. He wouldn't cross the line—but gods help him, staying on the right side of it felt harder every time.
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#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x bimbo assistant reader#aaron hotchner x fem reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#hotch#hotchner#hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x bimbo reader#aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotchner x reader
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Ooh shit I had the worlds worst thought— Megumi snapping at Fushigojo mom OF ALL PEOPLE in the heat of some kind or argument or bad day or something and blurting out “you’re not my mom” and then just AAAH IT WOULD BE SO SAD ALL FOUR OF THEM WOULD BE HEARTBROKEN AND MEGUMI WOULD BE SO UPSET WITH HIMSELF 😭😭😭🕳️🚶♀️
things have been difficult since tsumiki had fallen into a coma.
it's hard not to feel her absence at home. the empty seat at the dining table, the untouched laundry left folded in the hamper. somehow she's everywhere and nowhere, and it hurts.
you and satoru are heartbroken of course, but you can't begin to imagine how megumi feels.
at first he'd been quiet. megumi had always been quiet, but this was different. the two of you used to sit in comfortable silence, content to read quietly in each other's presence. now he shuffles to and from his bedroom barely uttering a word, silence hanging heavy as you try to coax him into staying.
then his grades had started slipping. you weren't awfully concerned. his teachers had been sympathetic enough to exempt him from final exams, and excuse any late or incomplete papers. despite his record of delinquency, he's always gotten high marks.
you could excuse these things. the silence, the grades. he's a little brother missing his big sister, and he's hurting.
but now he was starting to act out.
picking fights at school, talking back to faculty, giving attitude.
you startle where you stand in the kitchen when the front door suddenly slams shut, revealing a grumpy looking megumi. he kicks his shoes off, making a beeline for his room without stopping to greet you.
satoru holds a hand up before you can ask, walking over to the genkan to fix the sneakers.
"what now?" you ask, wiping your hands on your apron when your husband returns, kissing your forehead.
"suspended indefinitely for fighting," he sighs, running a hand through his hair. "he has to write an apology letter to everyone involved, and the headmaster said that next is expulsion."
"he can't keep doing this," you frown. "one of us needs to talk to him."
satoru is quick to touch the tip of his nose. "not it."
you roll your eyes (like megumi would, is that where he got it?) "yeah, it's probably best that you don't. he'd bite your head off."
he leans back against the counter, relieved. "yeah, i'd just— wait. you're doing that reverse psychology stuff on me again!"
feigning cluelessness is easy. "what are you talking about?"
"when you tell me i shouldn't do something and it makes me want to prove myself!"
"not my fault you're an incredibly prideful man."
"and just this once, i'll actually admit that talking to moody teens is not one of my many skills," he says. "this is your territory. you're the only one he might listen to. you've always been his favourite."
deep down, you know that he's right. you're the first one megumi goes to for everything. the first one he comes to with a new bump or scrape. the one whose side of the bed he squeezes into when he has a nightmare. the first one he talks to when he has a fight with a friend, or his sister...
you learned pretty quickly that megumi hated when people fussed over him (it came with his lone wolf tendencies) but he always let you.
so you steel yourself with a deep breath before knocking on his bedroom door.
"megumi?" you call gently. "can i come in?"
you decide to take his muffled response as permission, twisting the knob and slowly pushing the door open.
megumi's sat on the floor with his back pressed against the bed and his knees drawn up to his chest.
you close the door behind you. "thank you for letting me in."
he hums, peeking at you over his knees.
you sit on the floor across from him, rubbing your palms against your thighs. "i know that whatever we're feeling can't compare to how bad you're hurting, but we're worried about you."
"i'm fine."
"you're not, and you can't keep acting out at school."
"okay, i'll stop," he shrugs.
you should stop here. but you know megumi. he's only saying it because he knows that's what you want to hear.
you reach out, gently grasping his hand. "megumi, please. you can't keep this all in anymore. you always talk to me—"
"i don't want to talk about it," he snaps, jerking away from your touch. "can you just leave me alone?"
you flinch a little, surprised by the slight raise in his voice. he's never yelled at you. never snapped at you like that.
you're pushing too much, you realize. he's not ready to talk yet, you have to apologize.
"megumi, i'm—"
"just— just stop!" he shouts, expression stormy. "stop fussing over me, you're not my mom!"
to his credit, megumi looks like he regrets the words immediately, lips already shooting off an apology you can't seem to hear.
it does nothing to soothe the way your chest aches, full of hurt and a touch of betrayal. those words shouldn't hurt you as much as they do. he's right, you're not his mother.
but you don't even get to utter a word before the door swings open, a pissed off looking satoru striding into the room. shit. so he had been listening. "listen here you little shit—"
you stagger to your feet, stepping between your boys. "satoru, don't. don't! he's just upset."
"he can't talk to you like that!"
"let it go," you plead. "fighting is the last thing the three of us should be doing right now, okay?"
the three of you stand there for what seems like a lifetime, letting all the pain, frustration, and heartache fill the quiet apartment.
satoru shoots one last stern look around you before drawing a deep breath and focusing on you. you do the same as his hands come up to cup your cheeks, thumb swiping a stray tear away.
"we're just gonna give you some space, megs."
_____
"he didn't mean it," you remind satoru again that night, when sleep seems to be avoiding the both of you.
"i know. he still hurt your feelings though."
"well, he was right. i'm not his mom."
your husband tuts softly, reaching across the mattress and pulling you into his chest. "so what if you didn't give birth to them? you're something better because you chose them. you chose to love them and raise them when you didn't have to."
"of course i had to. they wouldn't have lasted a week in your care."
"oh? now who's being a little shit? i see where megumi gets his attitude from."
foreheads pressed together, the two of you laugh quietly. you feel light for the first time in weeks. the man holding you close, the boy sulking in his room, and the girl laying in the hospital.
they're your family, and you know they'll always love you as much as you love them.
waking up in the middle of the night to megumi squishing between you both (and satoru actually letting him) is as good a sign as any.
#gojo x reader#keeping up with the fushigojos#[💌—inbox]#WOOOOO IVE HAD THIS IN MY INBOX SINCE LIKE JANUARY#anon thank you for this
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Priorities
Pairing: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Illness/comfort
Summary: When Quinn gets a text from you 2 hours before his game, he shows where his priorities lie when he drops it all for you.
Series: Teacher Reader series
Notes: I am not very well atm and I had to drive home dizzy from work the other day, the idea of Quinn being there to help has been stuck in my head so have some self indulgence from me.
A kind of sequel to In Sickness and in Health but you don't need to read that to read this.
Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)
Writing Masterlist
He's already at the rink getting ready for the game in the locker room when his phone goes off. You don't actually ring him, clearly doing that thing you always do where you're trying to not bother him on a game day, instead you send a quick text message. He expects the usual:
'Good luck on the game today, baby!'
Instead, the text he gets has him picking his phone up and calling you back in an instant, worry clouding his judgement and making his hands shake slightly.
'Hey, so guess who's being sent home because she's dizzy and can't breathe? I had my head between my legs for 20 minutes, definitely can't stand and teach. Have a good game x'.
You drop the good luck at the end like he's not supposed to be worried, like you've just casually told him about the weather and not that you we're struggling to breathe.
It doesn't really matter that Tocc is giving him the look, the one he reserves for when he's annoyed at the boys, or that half the locker room have stopped their own pre-game, pre-warm up routines to watch their captain frantically call you. He's pacing back and forth, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waits for you to pick up the phone.
"Quinn?" You sound so incredibly breathless its like listening to an asthmatic 80 year old who's smoked for half their life. Except you don't smoke and you're not asthmatic or 80 which makes the whole situation about 10 times worse because you shouldn't be struggling to breathe. You should be doing better today.
You've been ill, he knows this, a chest infection he forced you to get meds for on the weekend. Meds which should have started working by now, a heavy dose of antibiotics and steroids which were supposed to have helped. You'd felt well enough this morning to go in and give work another go, but he regrets letting you do that now. Clearly trying to stand up in front of teenagers and talk was not something you should have been doing, not when the school day had only started half an hour ago and you were already being sent home.
"Baby, are okay?" You're sitting on the front steps of the school with all your things when you answer the phone to Quinn's worried voice. You keep telling yourself you just need a minute, just a minute and then you won't feel so dizzy, won't feel so breathless. Just a minute and the tingles in your fingers will go and your hands will stop shaking so much. Just a minute and then you can drive home and get into bed.
"Y-yeah, I'm...I'm just breathless. I'll be okay...they're...they're covering my...my lessons and..." You stop for a minute, taking big deep breathes, you sound so laboured on the phone that Quinn can't help but clench his phone tighter in his hand, "and I'm going home now." Your breaths are wheezy, just like Saturday, in fact he's certain you sound worse.
"How are you getting home?" He knows the answer before you say it and he hates it before he even hears it. You're dizzy and breathless and there is no way you should be driving home at all, but he knows you. Self-reliant to a fault, a martyr, always pushing yourself past the point of no return because you think you're fine, because you convince yourself you're fine. Because you don't want to inconvenience anyone or cause more problems. You ask to little of people around you, expecting barely anything despite all you give.
"I'm...I'm going to...to drive."
"No. You're not. I'm going to come get you." You want to protest a lot more than you do if you're being honest. But, you're so tired and it's so hard to breathe and students wandering in late to school are staring at you like you're having a break down. So your protests are relatively lacklustre by your usual standard. That actually worries him more.
"It's...there's like 2 hours before the game...you've...you've got warm ups soon." You hate the idea of him missing warm ups or god forbid the game, all because you were too stupid to realise you shouldn't have gone into work in the first place.
"So, I'll get you, take you home and come back to the rink and play. I'll walk to the school tomorrow and collect your car so you don't have to worry about it. But, you aren't driving, baby. If you even try to get in that car I will being fucking pissed. I love you, you do not get in that car." You know he's serious in that moment, not just because he's very rarely angry at you or anyone but himself, outside of the rink, but because he's got that clipped tone he only uses when he's serious. This isn't a request, it's a direct order and you have no intention of disobeying it, not when you know he's right...not when it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside that he's so insistent about your wellbeing.
"But, what...what if you miss warm ups?" He loves how much you support him and his hockey, he always will, but he hates that your first thought is that hockey should come first. His girlfriend can barely breathe right now and he quite honestly doesn't give a flying fuck if he misses warm ups. The team had to pull themselves together at some point and you came first. Always. If they couldn't manage warm ups without him then what was the point of paying them so much money?
"Warm ups aren't my priority, baby. You are. Do not get in the car. Do not drive. Do not move. I'm leaving right now, okay? Just sit on the steps of the school and take deep breaths." He's already grabbing his keys, not even bothering to change out of his gear other than putting some proper shoes on so that he can actually drive. He knows it'll spark some speculation and rumours, Captain of the Canucks storming out of the arena 2 hours before puck drop in full gear except his skates, but he doesn't fucking care about that right now.
"...Okay...thank you, Quinny. I love you." You say it because in that moment you have never felt so loved, to have someone drop everything, something so important, to come get you...Maybe its the meds, maybe its the breathlessness, the infection, but you feel like crying a little because of how sweet he is even when he's bossing you about.
"I'll see you soon, baby. I love you too."
He doesn't waste time once he hangs up, just turns straight to Tocc and tells him, "I'll be back."
The look he gets is a mixture of disbelief, frustration and confusion and he really can't blame Tocc for it. Not when Quinn is the captain, the player that seems to make a massive difference on the ice, and he's about to run out the doors 2 hours before the game? Yeah, he knows Tocc doesn't want to hear it.
"Quinn, where you going? We have a game in 2 hours?!" He knows he's going to be cutting it fine with Vancouver traffic and getting to your school, the apartment and back to the arena, but he's not letting you drive. He could live with missing a game, losing a game, but he couldn't live with himself if he let you drive home and something happened. His job was to look after you, if he failed at that? What was the fucking point?
"Tocc, I'll be back. I promise. But, right now my girlfriend is unable to breathe and dizzy and I'm not letting her drive home, okay? Sooner I leave, sooner I come back."
Maybe it's the insistence on Quinn's face, the reality that if he was forced to stay he wouldn't play well anyway. Maybe it's that you and Tocc get along and he can see a hint of concern in the other man's eyes or maybe Tocc just trusts him that much. But, he actually agrees to let him go. Not that Quinn could really be forced to stay. They'd have to tie him to the bench.
"Okay, I'm trusting you."
"Thanks."
Quinn ignores every single person he storms past, every employee, every fan outside, every person with a camera that starts asking him where he's going as he starts his car with one destination in mind. Maybe he seems rude, maybe he seems standoffish, but he doesn't really care because right now you are sat on the steps of a school struggling to breathe and he just wants to see you and get you home and into bed.
He doesn't even care that he knows Tocc is going to be questioned about his absence or that he can already hear his phone pinging with notifications from social media, most likely people asking where he was going and speculating.
'Just saw Quinn Hughes storm out of Rogers Arena in full gear, finally got fed up of his team?'
'Um, is anyone else panicking that Hughes just left the arena like 2 hours before puck drop?'
'Captain Lexapro has officially lost it with this team, just stormed out of the arena!!'
He tries his best not to break any traffic laws getting to you, despite the fact he has a lead foot that wants to press harder on the accelerator. But, he knows you'd hate it and you'd worry more about him getting a ticket, so he just grips the steering wheel tighter until he's turning into the school car park.
He doesn't try to park in a proper space, just pulls up as close to you as possible before hopping out. Your head is between your legs, shoulders rising and falling in laboured breaths and he feels like he's been punched in the stomach at how bad you sound.
"Oh, baby..." He's kneeling on the dirty ground within seconds and you try, through broken gasps to tell him he'll get his hockey socks dirty, but he doesn't listen to you, just reaches to pull you into a hug.
"Let's get you home, okay? Tomorrow we're going back to the doctors, okay?" You're leaning your head into his shoulder so heavily that he's worried you might actually pass out. It's like the moment his arms wrap around you, you just give up on holding yourself up. In truth, that's kind of what happens. You just want to lean into him, soak up the comfort of your boyfriend lighting petting your hair and whispering into your ear.
"Don't y-you have...practice?"
"I think I can fit the doctors in around practice, baby..." He doesn't tell you, but he'd forgo practice for you. He doesn't care about anything but how you're doing and you're not okay. Quinn can see that better than anyone.
"Alright, up you get..." He stands first, hands reaching for yours to help pull you to your feet. You sway before him like you're on a 16th century galleon in a thunderstorm, forehead plonking on his chest heavily, "Atta, girl. There we go." He just strokes your hair and back while you wait for the dizziness to pass, he knows each second will make him later to the arena but he's not going to rush you when you're struggling just to stand without fainting.
"Alright, let me get your stuff and then we'll take it one step at a time, baby, okay?"
"O..okay...one step...at a time." He tries his best not to let go of you completely as he bundles your work bag onto his shoulder. Quinn is as quick as he can be with it, before pulling you under his arm and helping you inch step by step towards the car.
It's slow going, every few steps you get a little dizzy and he waits for you to nod before he pushes you forward again. You're drained, dark circles under your eyes and skin losing some of its usual colour by the time you reach the car.
Quinn had purposefully pulled up the car with the passenger side facing you and you're thankful not to have to walk around the car as you brace yourself against the door for a moment. Quinn helps ease you into the seat, reaching over to put your seatbelt on for you and adjust the headrest so you can lean back. It eases some of the weight in your chest.
"Nearly home, okay, baby?"
You just nod, exhausted as his hands cup your cheeks tenderly, spreading a soft sort of affection through your already aching chest. He's so gentle as he looks down at you, fingers rubbing circles in your cheeks, but he looks so worried and you feel so guilty because he shouldn't have to be that worried.
"You've been so brave, baby, you're so brave...soon you'll be in bed and you can watch the game and sleep, okay?" He knows you'll want to watch the game if you're sat at home, mostly because you watch every game he plays even if its on catch up, but also because he knows it'll reassure you that he made it back in time.
You nod again, blinking up at him so tired that he can't help but frown.
"Atta, girl. My brave girl." The kiss Quinn presses to your forehead is short and sweet, not lingering but filling you with warmth and lightness even as he closes the door on you and gets into the driver's side.
You miss his comforting touch and as if he knows this, his hand reaches for your thigh at any given opportunity when it isn't in use to drive. The stability of it, the comfort of just having him there is so welcome and helps you to relax back into the seat as he drives.
It's just as hard work getting you into the apartment, thankful as ever that the elevator actually works, but once you're in, Quinn feels ten times lighter.
"Right, lets get you comfy, baby...you want one of my jerseys or a hoodie?"
"Jersey...the....the black one, please."
"Okay, sit down, there ya go, good girl.." He watches you the entire time from the corner of his eye, scared you'll lean too far forward from how you're hunched over on the edge of the bed. He tries to make the entire thing quick, reaching for his black jersey, the extra big one that he bought home because you liked how it dwarfed you and even dwarfed him.
"Arms up, baby..." He helps you out of your work blouse and your bra, slipping the jersey over the top quickly to avoid the shivers you start shaking with.
The worst part is getting you to your feet to get your bottoms off. Quinn helps you rise to your feet before kneeling in front of you, dragging your hands to his shoulders for support as he helps you inch out of the remainder of your work clothes. Your fingers grip his shoulders so tight that he's certain you might leave bruises but he doesn't really care, just happy to get you comfy and help you into bed.
You're bundled under as many blankets as he can find, plus the heated blanket you got at Christmas. A big jug of water beside the bed, snacks piled high because he is not having you try to go all the way to kitchen without supervision right now.
"You want the game set to go on?"
"Y...yes, please...wanna watch you play." He turns the television on, setting it to the NHL game set to go live in less than an hour now and he knows he's going to miss warm ups at this point. Tocc's probably blowing up his phone and he knows he's cutting it fine...but you look so small bundled up in bed and he actually hates the idea of leaving you alone. He hates not having his family near all the time as a general rule, but in that moment he hates it so much more. If his mum or dad had been near he could have asked Ellen or Jim to check in on you, instead you were going to be all alone and he hated it.
"I'll score for you, yeah? You can watch me score and maybe we'll win and then I'll come and make us dinner. That sound good, baby?"
"Perfect..." Quinn smooths your hair back from your face, tucking a strand behind your ear even as he uses it as an excuse to feel your temperature. Not unreasonably warm which reassures him a little that you're at least not feverish.
He just keeps sitting there next to you, stroking your hair and caressing your cheek to the point that as much as you're loathe to get him to stop and to leave, you have to remind him he can't stay here. He has a game he's already running late to.
"You...you have to go, Quinn...I'll be okay..."
"If you're not, you'll phone 911, right?" He smooths your hair back again, in truth he really doesn't want to leave you there like that. Even as you seem to be breathing a little better now you're lying down. He considers just not going, if they lose they lose...but he knows he can't. He's captain, he promised he'd be back...and you'd be unhappy with him. He might be your boyfriend but the Canucks were your team and you'd likely make him sleep on the couch for a week.
"I promise...just go win for me?"
"Okay, sweet girl." He presses a last lingering kiss to your forehead, before getting up to leave. But, he still lingers in the doorway for a moment until you push him to go.
Once he's out of the apartment he's rushing. Barely any time and honestly when he finally gets back to the arena and gets his skates on he's surprised he's just in time to go out on the ice for the anthem...cold, not warmed up in the slightest, not ready at all to play a game, but willing to.
Tocc stops him as he's passing the bench to get to the ice, "Cutting it fine, Hughes!" despite the gruff tone, Quinn can tell that Tocc is just relieved that Quinn's back in time. As are the guys who all look at him with varying shades of relief as if they'd been freaking out the entire time. Which they probably had.
"Told you I'd be back." Quinn says it with such confidence, even though inside he knows he nearly missed the entire game. To be honest if you hadn't forced him out the apartment then he'd probably have been late at best.
"How is she?" Tocc's voice is soft, concerned and Quinn appreciates it. He appreciates that as a coach Tocc doesn't just care about how much they cost or how well they play, he cares about them and their families too...and you're included in that, ring or not.
"Not good...but safe at home."
"You need practice off tomorrow?"
"Please, I need to get her to the doctors..."
"Done. Now go help us win the game." Tocc gives him a clap on the shoulder before pushing him out onto the ice and just like that Quinn slips into captain mode.
Locked in like he always is even if his legs don't feel as loose and his stick feels a little less familiar in his hands. Knowing you're home safe helps, he can put the thought of you to the back of his mind, knowing you're safe in the apartment, comfortable and surrounded by everything you need.
You find it hard to focus on the game, but force yourself to, determined to watch Quinn play and to see the goal he intends to score for you. Maybe it's silly, there's no guarantee he'll actually score, but you can tell from the moment he's on the ice that it's one of the few things on his mind. Shot after shot after shot, a determined series of attempts that remind you how important you are to him even as you lie wheezing in bed, eating as much chocolate as Quinn put out for you.
It's part way through the first period with one goal already to Vancouver thanks to Petey that the issue of Quinn's disappearance pre-game is raised.
"Quinn Hughes was nearly late to the game today, the captain missed warm ups but that's certainly not stopping him now!" Shortie's voice rings through the room, a familiar cadence that makes you feel comforted.
"No, it's not, Shortie, do we know why Hughes was late?" Dave responds and for a moment you can't quite comprehend that you've managed to cause this much of a ruckus.
"It hasn't been confirmed and you know I'm not much of a gossip..." You have a little giggle a Shortie even as you are the topic of conversation because it's not really much in the way of gossip and it's so silly.
"But?"
"Apparently he had a family emergency, his girlfriend is very unwell and he dropped everything to go get her."
"Well, that's just.."
"Romantic? Sweet?"
"I was going to say so unlike the Quinn Hughes we used to know, the one who only thought about hockey." You think back to Quinn when you first met, how everything had been hockey, hockey, hockey. You hadn't minded, your own love of the sport meant that you could handle it. But, it's true...Quinn had been rethinking his priorities ever since you started dating, where he might have prioritised hockey once, he'd started to prioritise you. You're not entirely sure at what point you became that important in his life, but it made you feel warm and fuzzy all over.
"I think it's a good thing, that's a sign of growth, just like Hughes' shot!" Shortie cuts himself off as you watch the camera pan to Quinn, following his agile movements across the ice as he skips past the other team's players as if it's as easy as breathing, "He's in past the defence, he lines up the shot and an unassisted goal for Quinn Hughes! Vancouver goal!"
You smile wide as you watch Quinn grin, celebrating with his team in a series of hugs before he finds a camera. There's a moment where you know he's grinning at you, for you, a cheeky little wink sent through the screen as if to say 'told you I'd score for you'.
"I suspect that one was for the girlfriend, Shortie."
You watch the entire game, trying not to nod off to sleep between periods. While you can't cheer and you certainly don't have the energy to celebrate too hard, every Canuck goal makes you feel lighter and brings a smile to your face.
The end result of a 5-2 win to the Canucks makes it easy for you to drift off as the game ends and the waiting for Quinn begins.
He's running off a high when the game ends, even more so when Boeser offers to take over press duties so Quinn can get back to you quickly.
The apartment is quiet when he comes in, "Baby?" not a sound comes back in response and he's careful to move quietly through the apartment to the bedroom doorway.
You're fast asleep, breathing heavy but nowhere near as bad as earlier in the day, you're surrounded by chocolate wrappers and he's quiet as he picks them all up and puts them in a bin, replacing them with the puck he scored with on your bedside table.
He tiptoes back to the kitchen quietly pottering around to make some dinner for you while you're still asleep, nothing fancy but protein, carbs and veg. The sort of thing that's definitely boring but also definitely what your body needs right now.
"Baby, time to wake up...I've made you dinner." He's gentle when he wakes you, soft fingers down your cheek as you stir awake, blinking up at him bleary eyed. Quinn helps you sit upright, the tray of food settling neatly in your lap.
"Where's...where's yours?"
"On the table, you want me to eat in here with you, sweetheart?"
He's moving before you finish nodding, grabbing another tray and his plate before joining you on the bed. He spends most of his dinner watching you eat, making sure you're not leaving large amounts and that you're okay.
He's happy about the win, happy about the score, but he's mostly just happy to be back with you and knowing that you're eating and you're okay, if not well.
Quinn's quick to tidy up your trays and even quicker to get back to you and get into a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, sliding under the covers with you and pulling you into his arms.
Your cheek rests against his chest, the steady thump of his heart a soothing sound that helps some of the anxiety about being off work ease off. Quinn's fingers caress circles and weird shapes across your arm and shoulder as he tucks you tight against him, legs twined together. Every so often he presses a kiss to your forehead, your cheek, the top of your hair, as if reassuring himself that you're okay and he's got you.
"You scored..." You mumble into his t-shirt, a small smile working it's way to your lips as his hand moves up to run through your hair, stopping at your scalp every now and then to scratch lightly until you feel like purring even if that purr is more of a wheezy rumble.
"Mmm, for you, baby." Quinn smiles down at you, another kiss pressed to your cheek.
"T...the wink?" His smile weakens slightly at your still stumbling breathlessness and the wheeze and crackle that accompany it.
"Just for you, sweet girl."
"I'm...I'm proud of you, y'know?" You smile up at him so sweetly that he can't help but feel certain in his choices today. Yeah, nearly missing a game was rough, and maybe the press are going to be dicks about it and maybe he would have felt guilty if he'd missed the game or they'd lost...but he knows he'd skip a million games if it meant you were being looked after, were safe.
"I know...and tomorrow you're going to show me how proud you are by letting me take you to the doctors again."
"Ugh..." You groan, hiding your face into his chest like that will stop him from dragging you to the doctors. Your stubbornness normally cute but in this moment less so.
Quinn cups the back of your head until your looking up at him, green eyes meeting yours with a pleading stare that makes your resolve tremble and shudder. "Please? I'm worried about you, baby...I was really scared when I got that text from you."
"Yeah?" You hate that you worried him...it's that worry that makes you concede that maybe you need to go back to the doctors and maybe as much as you hate it, you'll do it, for Quinn.
"Yeah. I can replace hockey, I can play another game if I miss one. But, I can't replace you. Let me take you to the doctors."
There's a beat of silence as he pleads with you, eyes soft, worried, gentle, thumb stroking soothingly across the base of your neck and you can't really deny him this. Not when you know you'd feel exactly the same if the roles were reversed, not when he nearly missed a game for you today and went in completely cold turkey to win it.
"Okay...as...as long as you keep cuddling me."
"I think I can do that, baby." You curl back into his arms like the spot was carved just for you and in that moment Quinn Hughes knows that you have fully hit the top of his priority list, no ands, ifs, buts or maybes. You could ask him to quit hockey tomorrow and he'd do it. He'd do anything for you and that should be terrifying, but it's not because he knows you'd never ask too much of him. If anything you ask too little.
#huggy bear writes#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes/reader#quinn hughes#nhl imagine#nhl x reader#teacher reader x quinn
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for a Tyler request what about him and reader getting into a really bad argument and storming off and when he cools down he can’t find her and is panicking
Alive and Crazy - Tyler Owens x Reader
come participate in tyler owens night !
Perhaps it was cruel of you to pick such a secluded hiding spot, but after all, isn't that what hiding's all about? Perhaps then the cruel part was hiding at all. But you can't shake Tyler's vicious words, "Y'know, if you don't stop trying to hold me back, maybe I should just cut myself loose."
All this over a tornado? His lifestyle is... intense. You are of the opinion that Tyler's hobby is ridiculously dangerous, and while you're slightly comforted by the safety precautions he takes (especially the drills that anchor his truck into the ground), you're less than impressed with the way he shows off and makes those precautions almost useless. Really, does he need to lean out of the window to see how long he can handle it? You'd only been trying to find some middle ground, but Tyler apparently seems to think you're trying to chain him up in the basement to prevent him from ever having any fun.
There's a secluded cabinet in the back of your laundry room that's perfect for hiding - just big enough to fit in and with an outlet for easy phone charging. You're just about to hit your two hour mark huddled in the cabinet when you hear thundering footsteps nearing your location.
"Baby? Hey, baby, y'gotta tell me where you are. Come on, baby, just wanna know you're safe. You in here?"
That's the last thing you hear before daylight spills into your dark cabinet, and your phone's screen becomes instantly duller in comparison. You glare up unimpressed at Tyler but his face crumples in relief so fast that you can barely hold the expression.
"Shit darlin'." He heaves a sigh, and any sympathy you'd felt for him instantly disappears when he has the gall to scold you next, "Do you know how damn long I've been looking for you?"
"Oh I'm sorry," You bite up at him, rage reigniting in your eyes, "Does my need for space inconvenience you?"
"No!" He nearly shrieks, but he reins himself in, "No, no, that's not- I shouldn't have said it like that. I was just worried."
"Well I'm not sure why," You turn back to your phone, but there's no concentration present as you mindlessly scroll, "I'd have expected you to be out enjoying your freedom seeing as you're cutting yourself loose."
"I'm not cutting myself loose." He vows, and it's soft instead of his typical drawl. He crouches, then makes the terrible, horrible decision to attempt to fit into the crawlspace with you.
"No- no, Tyler, you can't fit!" You squeal as he shoulders his way in, pressed flush to his body as he settles in a space half his size.
"It's fine." He grunts, but it's labored and very much not fine, "I just wanna be near you."
"I don't wanna be near you." You sneer, but you make no move to get up, "The whole reason I'm squeezed into this cabinet is because I was trying to hide from you."
"Did a damn good job, too." He admits, head slumped against the wall instead of your shoulder, "I was runnin' around for almost half an hour."
"Serves you right." You grumble, "Don't say mean shit if you want people to like you."
"I know." He reaches out and sets a hand on your knee, chaste and reassuring, "I'm sorry, darlin'. I just- lost control, or something. I don't know. I've been doin' this my whole life, and when you try to tell me how to do it, it makes me feel like you don't think I can handle it myself."
"Tyler, no one can. Some of the things that you're doing-" You stop yourself short, "I'm not saying you can't have fun. I'm not saying you can't chase- er, wrangle tornadoes. I'm just saying you don't have to keep trying to outdo yourself. There has to be a limit, otherwise you'll get killed."
He's silent after your speech, perhaps mulling it over, perhaps drafting his counterargument. In the end, he tips his head from the wall to your shoulder, and murmurs close to your ear.
"Yeah. You're right. I think... I think I just don't know when to stop sometimes."
"I agree with that," You try to keep too much accusation from seeping into your tone, "But that's why I said something. I don't want you to stop, I just don't want it to stop you."
"Yeah. Alright. I understand." And he sounds like he does. He laces his fingers with yours like he does, and he cranes his neck to peck his lips against your cheek like he does.
"You're not holding me back," He promises, "What I said earlier... that was dumb. This is a partnership, not some sort of prison sentence. I love you, darlin'."
"I love you too," You sigh, leaning sideways into his embrace, "You promise no more hanging out of windows?"
"I promise I won't anymore. Can't promise nothin' for Boone."
"Boone's crazy," You laugh, "You're all crazy. I just want you alive and crazy."
"Deal." Tyler grins, holding out a pinky and letting you lock it with yours, "Alive and crazy, darlin'."
#tyler owens x reader#tyler owens fanfiction#tyler owens x you#tyler owens imagine#tyler owens blurb#tyler owens drabble#glen powell x reader#twisters fanfiction
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⊹ . ݁ ⟡ the kaji fanclub (ren kaji x reader) ft. kusumi ₊✩‧₊˚
✿ summary: you and kaji’s vice captain created your own fanclub, a kaji fanclub. kaji finds out about it, so long story short, he gives you his honest feedback. ✿ contains: fluffy crack (is that a thing), suggestive themes (only on bonus part), kaji is your boyfriend, teasing and nonstop praise for kaji (i could talk about this man all day watch me) ✿ a/n: my first wb fic!! kusumi would absolutely be the best wingman for you and kaji! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) i really like kusumi and his character design! he is so underrated but he's one of the cutest! ✿ wc: 1.2k
ren kaji knew that you had been up to something lately.
you and his vice captain kusumi have been busy giggling nonstop and checking your phones like a bunch of middle school girls, with you gushing and gasping about "how cute!" and "that's so perfect!" while looking down at your screen, showing only kusumi what was on it, receiving a reaffirming nod from the vice captain.
at first, kaji was fine with it and did not care at all. he found it nice that you got along so well with kusumi, but after an hour of you two still going at it and not paying full attention to him when he tried to tell you something, he swore he was about to throw a fit if you didn't quit it.
what kaji didn't know was that you and kusumi are the co-presidents of the "kaji club" on social media, where you post pictures of daily kaji updates.
at first, it was just because you found everything about your boyfriend so insufferably cute - his bowl haircut, his blond hair that he dyed all by himself, his unreadable expression, his never ending supply of lollipops, his iconic high kick, his sharp little canines (that sometimes you received little love bites from), his unpenetrable eardrums that were exposed to such loud music everyday, and much, much more.
you wanted to give the whole world a glimpse of that cuteness - but that goes without saying that only you got the full package to yourself.
so you thought about how funny it would be if he had his own fanclub. well, why not? if people loved him enough to vote him as their grade captain, then for sure he'd have lots of fans, right? and eventually, your idea turned into a reality.
kusumi would send you the pictures he took that day, and you would manage the fanclub account. this time it was of kaji jumping into the water to save a cat while on patrol (as well as him patrolling topless afterwards - needless to say that particular picture was saved in your phone in a heartbeat, but you never uploaded it, it was for you and only you, his lover, to see and appreciate.)
eventually, the kaji fanclub blew up to be an overnight sensation, mostly members of bofurin and the townspeople of makochi are among his biggest fans, but of course, you will always be ren kaji's number one fan.
"what the hell are you two laughing about?" kaji huffed in annoyance, trying to get a peek at your phone screen.
you smile sweetly at him, letting out a "hm?", acting all innocent and telling him it was nothing and that he shouldn't worry about it.
kaji, still having his suspicions that you were up to your shenanigans again, grabbed your phone from your hands and took a look at what you were so fixated with - it was a picture of kaji drinking from his bottled water with the caption "here is our super cool grade captain reminding everyone to always stay hydrated!~" then next it was a close up of kaji holding his lollipop. "today's lollipop flavor is peach! fun fact: it is also ren kaji's favorite fruit." it says.
oh. so that's what it was.
it was so random, that kaji couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from twitching upwards, almost smiling. he found it so unexpected and ridiculous but managed to keep a straight face.
"delete it." he cleared his throat, trying to fight back his amusement at the two of you coming up with something like this for him.
"no! give it back, ren! it's for our kaji fanclub! it already has more than a hundred likes, see! umemiya even commented-" you started, whining and pouting at your boyfriend, who rolled his eyes at you.
he hands you back your phone and sighs. "i don't need a hundred likes." kaji says, firmly. "because i already have the one like i need right here."
you gasped when you realized that kaji was referring to none other than you, his "one like" that he needed. kaji, upon becoming aware of how lovestruck he probably sounded, turned his back away from you and put his headphones back on.
you fangirled so hard at that moment, all giddy and smiling at your boyfriend, teasing him about how you were of course his number one fan and that you wanted to have his autograph.
kusumi was sitting across the both of you, and snapped a picture when you were rubbing your cheek against kaji's, him side-eye glancing at your overjoyed, smiling face. kaji is still so fond of you, even if you did silly things like this.
kusumi, beaming from ear to ear, shows the both of you the picture he took, and typed a message on his phone. it read: "you two are so cute, my favorite couple! <3 get a guy that looks at you with so much love the way kaji does! >///< #couplegoals" he adds "i really ship you two!"
you and kaji read the message on kusumi's notes app. when he finished reading, he let out an exasperated sigh. kaji points at you and kusumi. "i have no idea what a "ship" is, but right now i just want to ship you two off to somewhere far away."
he was kidding, of course. you knew that he would let you do what you wanted anyway, as long as he could see your lovely smile and how happy he made you, kaji wouldn't ask for nothing more. because plot twist, ren kaji is also your number one fan.
ꕤ bonus ꕤ
once you got home, kaji made sure to let you know his exact thoughts regarding your fanclub.
"tch. you don't need to have my face on your phone, you know. you can have the real thing right here." he leans in closer to you, pulling his lollipop out of his mouth and replacing it with your lips.
the next morning, after waking up from a long and eventful night with kaji, you expressed your shock upon gazing at yourself in the mirror and finding out you've been marked up by little purple bruises and love bites that left some of kaji's teeth marks littering everywhere, but most prominently on your neck, thighs and chest area.
"ren kaji! what the hell is this!" you exclaimed, waking him up with a jolt, you pointing at all the parts he left his marks on.
he stared at it for a second, admiring his handiwork. "you said you wanted to have my autograph."
"i didn't mean it like this!" you sighed, wondering how in the world you would be able to go out looking like this, all bitten and marked up by kaji.
"i can always sign it again for you if it fades. i'm all yours, after all." he said it with such a straight but smug face and he was so unapologetic about it that you wanted to smack him. or have him devour you again. or both.
you can't be the only one showing him your appreciation, because kaji has his ways of showing his too.
© kajibunny 2024 / all rights reserved
#wind breaker#kaji x reader#kaji ren x reader#kaji ren#wind breaker x reader#kaji#ren kaji#wind breaker (satoru nii)#nii satoru#windbreaker#wind breaker fluff#wind breaker fic#wind breaker x you#wind breaker scenarios#windbreaker crack#windbreaker imagines#ren kaji my babie <3
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IDGAF (NSFW)
See Me Through You Series
I don't care right now (I don't give a fuck)
Pull your hair right now (come here)
Tryna beat it right now (she like)
But you know I got a man
Synopsis: Joe has no more fucks to give and is tired of him not having the title of being your boyfriend
Warnings: mentions of dv
Do not engage if you are underage
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
After Joe had told you that he knew that you loved him instead of Trevor, you stood there speechless.
One thing you weren't about to do was tell him that he was wrong.
His eyes never left yours as he waited for you to say something. When you didn't, he knew that it had to be up to him to at least try to pull a response out of you.
“Look, Y/N, if you go back to him, fine. I can't stop you, but I do need to tell you one thing.” He told you as he grabbed your left hand to hold it while the other one was holding onto the bouquet of flowers that he had gifted you.
“What's that?” You asked him not knowing that you had absentmindedly squeezed his hand tighter.
“You’re making a mistake and hopefully you realize that before you get hurt again because I know that at this point, it's bound to happen.” Joe said as he was not holding back how he felt about the entire situation.
Now the question was why did Trevor have such a strong hold on you?
“Joey, I promise that you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine.” You said while trying to reassure him, but knew for a fact that more than likely it was not working in your favor.
“And who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? Do you also not realize how much your brother worries about you too? From what I've seen and heard about him, he is not a good person. Especially not to you. Did you forget him leaving actual marks on your wrist while we were at that party and you were trying to get away from him? What do you think would have happened if I wasn’t there to get you away from him?”
“I wish that people would just stop acting like they know what's best for me.” You breathed out, frustrated about being hit from all different angles.
Joe, Ja'Marr, Erin, and Alisha.
Even your parents thought that you had broken up with him a while ago because that's what Ja'Marr told them when he knew that Joe had eyes for you.
“Bam Bam! Why did dad just say he was relieved that I finally broke up with Trevor!? And that you had told them?! Didn’t realize my life was a soap opera to you!”
“I just uh predicted the future. Now you're not going to make me look like a liar to mom and dad, right?”
“I should beat your ass right now.”
“I mean…. You have someone who likes you that I know will treat you right. He's literally just waiting for Trevor to get out of his rightful spot.”
“JA'MARR! Who are you talking about!?”
“Pebbles, don't be dumb. I'm talking about Joe, obviously. I see the type of person he is and that's someone I want for my sister.”
The relief that was evident on their faces let you know that he was not ever going to have approval from anyone that was a part of your life.
As soon as those words left your mouth, Joe wasted no time responding to you.
“Oh so you think this is what a healthy relationship between two people looks like? And someone obviously needs to because you definitely can't do it yourself.”
“Just like you said before, if I go back to him, it really isn't any of your business or anyone else's for that matter. Let's keep it that way because I am done with this conversation.”
“If that's what you want then okay. I won't say anything else about it. And to add to that I'll keep my distance because you're right. You shouldn't be spending more time with another man that isn't your boyfriend and I guess he probably feels like I stepped on his toes enough. But he won't have to worry about that anymore.” He told you as he sighed and held up his hands in defense, losing the warmth that he had been getting from holding your hand.
“Wait…” You started to say, but Joe shook his head at you.
“No, this is what you wanted so this is how it's going to be from now on.”
“Joey, I didn't mean…”
“Didn't mean what? You love me but your ass is crawling back to him as he begs for forgiveness as usual after doing the bare minimum? Actually, he doesn't even do that. I'm not about to compete with anyone who I feel isn't even on my level to compete with me in the first place. I'll see you at the game if you're coming later. Probably not the best idea to wear my jersey since we can't have Trevor seeing it.”
Now it was apparent that Joe was more than pissed off with you.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. I need to head back to my apartment to start to get ready anyway. But for the record….” He trailed off and you tried to grab his hand, but he immediately moved away.
“For the record what?”
“I love you too. So do what you will with that information.”
That's the last thing Joe told you before he turned away from you before he walked back to meet up with Justin and Ja'Marr.
Later that day in the afternoon, you were sitting next to Alisha and Erin in the student section of the stadium waiting for the game to start. After the conversation between the two of you earlier in the day, you honestly didn’t feel like going, but decided to anyway.
Even though Joe was mad at you, you had already promised him last week that you would wear his jersey to the game and didn't care who saw it at this point.
You were going to support your friend.
Your friend that you were in love with and he was in love with you however that was a whole nother discussion.
“You look good in your future husband's jersey.” Erin teased while Alisha laughed before taking a bite of her hot dog.
“He’s a little mad at me right now so hopefully seeing me in it will make it a little bit better.” You said as you turned to look at her.
“Well he can't be but so mad at you since he is literally making his way over here.” Alisha told you as you turned around to see that she was indeed correct.
The three of you were on the first row in the middle so that you would have the best view. In order to get these seats, all three of you made sure to get to the stadium early. When Joe finally reached you, he had an expression on his face that you couldn't quite read and you were the first one to speak.
“Surprised to see me?” You asked and he nodded.
“A little bit, but I know you. A promise is a promise and you said that you would be here. You aren't one to back out of something so easily.”
“Hmm, true. Are you still mad at me?” You quietly asked and Joe simply shrugged.
“Seeing you in my jersey is making me less mad if that helps. If you were my girlfriend, after tonight when I won I would be able to take it off of you. But I know my opportunity is coming.”
“I…” You started to say as you felt your cheeks heating up.
“Oh, that’s right. We established boundaries today and I promised that I would back off. It's kind of hard, but I just have to deal with it.”
“Joey….”
“Bold move though wearing it considering anybody could see it, including him. We both know that he already doesn’t like me. Think he'd be mad if I kissed you right now? In front of all these people? Letting the entire world know that you belong to me and only me even if you aren't ready to admit it yet.” Joe whispered as he leaned closer to you. Joe had spotted Trevor in the stands a few rows up and sent a small smile his way which led to Trevor glaring at him. You still had yet to notice that he was there which Joe was going to take advantage of.
When you were quiet, Joe laughed as he broke the silence.
“Let’s find out.”
He lightly grabbed your face and moved you closer to him so he could place a kiss on your cheek that was dangerously close to your mouth.
If you would have moved less than one centimeter, he would have planted that kiss on your lips.
“We'll talk later.” He told you while pinching your cheek and you simply nodded. This was the second time today that he had left you speechless.
“Have a good game, Joey.”
“It already is a good game, because you're here.” He replied as he winked at you.
He made his way back over to the sideline while Erin and Alisha were grinning from ear to ear as you turned around to look at both of them.
“I seriously wish yall would just fuck already. It would literally solve so many problems. He would take you on the fifty yard line if he could.”
“ERIN!”
“I’m just saying. I am literally waiting for the wedding invite. I wonder if you two will get married here or have a destination wedding? I can start looking up places.”
“What am I going to do with you?” You asked her, but also couldn’t help but to laugh at the same time.
What you didn't see was Trevor fuming behind you. He had seen the entire interaction and planned to confront you about it later. He knew that you and Joe were obviously close and were friends, but that interaction that he just saw was too intimate for his liking.
He hadn't cared for Joe ever since the party where he had stepped in between the both of you. In the back of his mind, he knew Joe liked you, it was obvious. But one thing that he had to do was set him straight and let him know that you were his and planned on reminding you about it later.
Little did he know, it was too little too late.
You were too far gone at this point, and the only person that held your attention was Joseph Lee Burrow.
Later on that night after he had gotten back to his apartment from LSU winning their game, Joe had grabbed food and was sitting down eating it while his phone vibrated on the table in front of him indicating that it was his mom and he quickly answered.
He simply wanted to be by himself and didn't bother celebrating with any of his teammates because once again, his mind was on you.
It was a continuous cycle, you, football, and focusing on his classes.
It took everything in him not to text you to tell you to come over at this very moment. He was supposed to be mad at you, but being around you was something that kept him grounded. Seeing you wear his jersey tonight made it hard for him to continue to be mad at you.
“Hello?”
“I watched the game and you played amazing as usual. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to this one, but I will definitely be there next week.”
“It's fine, don't even worry about it and thank you.” He quietly said and she knew for a fact that something was wrong.
“What's going on? You sound upset.” Robin asked him and he sighed before he answered her.
“I like this girl…”
“Oh Y/N? Yes I know. Pretty obvious. You literally talk about her non-stop every week that me and your dad call you. Can't wait to meet her, but go on.”
“Well she knows that I like her, well I actually told her that I loved her earlier today and also told her that I knew she loved me. We've gotten really close ever since I came down here and met her. If I'm not playing football or in class, I am literally spending all of my time with her.”
“Well, what's the problem?”
“She has a boyfriend and I might just have to settle for being her friend because instead of breaking up with him and being with me, she told me that she is giving him another chance even after he's hurt her multiple times.”
“I know that can be hard to watch, but as bad as it sounds, you need to let her make her own mistakes. If that's her decision, you need to respect it.”
“And that's what I told her and also said from now on I’ll be keeping my distance from her.”
“If you feel that's your best option, then stand by your decision.”
“I just…. All I've seen is her getting hurt by him and she steadily defends him each time.”
“I… if you are her friend and you are as close as you claim you two are, just be there for her and help her get through whatever may happen. If the two of you are meant to be together, you'll be together.”
It was 2 in the morning when Joe heard someone knocking on his apartment door and was instantly confused. Hopping up from the couch that he had fallen asleep on with open books scattered around him, he opened the door to see you staring at him in a frantic state.
“Y/N, is everything okay? What's wrong?” He asked as he stepped to the side to be able to let you in and led you to sit down on the couch.
“My brother isn't here, is he?” You asked not bothering to answer his question and looking around since sometimes Ja'Marr would crash at Joe's place if he was too tired to go back to his own.
“No, but do I need to call him?” He asked and you immediately shook your head no.
“No! Please don't. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, just don’t tell him.” You didn't mean to raise your voice and it came out harsher than you intended.
“Then are you going to tell me what happened? Wait, why is there a cut near your eye? And it's bleeding.” He asked and got up to wet a washcloth and dabbed at your face with it.
It was at that moment that you had looked down and started playing with your matching bracelet that you and Ja'Marr had gotten each other on your eighteenth birthdays and under no circumstances would you make eye contact with him.
That's when the thought hit Joe like a ton of bricks.
“Did that asshole put his hands on you?”
“No.”
“Y/N, if you lie to me I'm calling Ja'Marr.”
“Okay, okay. He tried to. We were arguing and he threw a vase at me that shattered against the wall and some glass from it must have cut me. And then he pushed me into a corner and acted as if he was going to punch me, but punched a hole in the wall instead. Right next to my head. He apologized, but I waited until he fell asleep and then I came here. I was so scared.” You quietly said as tears were starting to run down your cheeks and Joe quickly wiped them away.
It happened again, just like he said it would.
And this time, it ended up being a lot worse.
Joe was sitting there with his jaw clenched and once you looked up at him, you knew that you had to stop him before he did something stupid.
He abruptly got up and was looking for his keys when you instantly ran to stand in front of the door to block him.
“Move, Y/N.”
“Joey, no. You are not going anywhere. Let it go.”
“He fucking hurt you. I should go over there and kick his ass myself.”
“I cannot risk you getting in trouble and therefore getting kicked off the team, he isn't worth it. I'll be fine. Do not mess up your future over me.” You told him as you took his hands in yours.
“But YOU are worth it. Who the fuck in their right mind would do something like that to you? I knew I didn't like him when I met him and your brother was right about him.”
“Joey, promise me. Please don't. I'll deal with it in my own way.”
“There is no way in hell you are going near him ever again. Ja'Marr would be mad as hell at me if he knew that I knew that he hurt you and didn't do anything about it.”
“And that's why you aren't going to tell him.”
“Wait, what? Y/N… you cannot be serious.”
“I… it's the same thing with him too. You can both get arrested for assault and it'll lead to so much more, just please.”
Joe let out a deep sigh before nodding, letting you know that he would honor your wishes.
The two of you were still standing in front of the door and the two of you hadn't taken your eyes off one another when you suddenly reached up and kissed him, catching him off guard, but he immediately kissed you back.
When the two of you broke apart, the reality of what you had just done hit you like a ton of bricks.
You had just cheated on your boyfriend with Joe.
And you didn’t have an ounce of regret in your body.
“I'm sorry, I…” You started to say as you stepped away from him and Joe cut you off as he lightly brought you back towards him.
“I'm not. Break up with him and be with me instead. So I can show you how you're supposed to be treated. I promise you that you won't regret it.”
You didn't respond, but Joe immediately brought your face to his and kissed you once more. Both of your hands were exploring each other's bodies but as soon as you tried to lift Joe's shirt, he abruptly stopped and he kissed the side of your mouth like he had done earlier at the game before saying anything.
“Not yet. You've been through a lot tonight and the last thing I want is for you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you in a vulnerable state and you regret it tomorrow.”
“But I'm…”
“I just want you to rest for the rest of the night. We have plenty of time for that. I'll grab you some clothes to sleep in.”
Nodding your head he kissed you again before taking your hand in his and led you towards his bedroom that you had grown familiar with all throughout the semester. Any time you came over, it would lead to you stealing one of his shirts or one of his hoodies. He was convinced when the semester was over that all he was going to have left at this rate were his boxers. Once there, he let go of your hand and went into his dresser to pull out one of his old Ohio State shirts and handed it to you.
“It'll probably be huge on you, but you'll be comfortable.”
You smiled at him before heading to the bathroom to change out of your clothes. Once you closed the door behind you, you glanced in the mirror and didn't recognize the girl staring back at you.
You promised yourself that if it happened again, you would leave him, but here you were. You had someone right in front of you that wanted to give you the world so what were you so scared of?
You were tired of running around in circles and tired of making excuses.
First thing you were doing later on that day was breaking up with Trevor.
Once you had gotten changed, you walked back out into Joe's bedroom to see he was now in just a pair of sweatpants and looked like he was headed towards the door, but was quickly stopped in his tracks as he heard your soft voice behind him making him turn around.
“Where are you going?” You quietly asked since you were confused.
“To sleep on the couch while you sleep in my bed. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay first.”
“Joey, no. I'm not kicking you out of your bed and besides, I don’t want to be by myself right now.” You confessed as you grabbed his hand.
He nodded as the two of you both got settled, Joe was closest to the door while you were closest to the window. After making sure you were comfortable, he reached over to turn off the lamp that was on the bedside table. That was when he heard your voice once more.
“Joey?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you for always being there for me. Even when I might not deserve it.”
At this point in time, you were honestly surprised that he even answered the door and let you in, but knowing the type of person he is, he wouldn’t have reacted any differently.
“I'll be here as long as you want me to be and you deserve the world. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
—
You didn’t know how long you were laying there, but sleep was the last thing taking over your body. Noticing that Joe's breathing also hadn't slowed, you turned around to face him and at the same time you heard his voice.
“Princess? You still awake? You need to go to sleep.”
“I can't sleep. I'm still so scared, I know he's going to look for me sooner or later.”
“You’re safe here and no one is going to touch a hair on your head. I can promise you that.” He told you as he stroked your face and placed a light kiss on your forehead as he was able to make out your features in the dark by the moonlight peeking in through the curtains.
“Come here.”
Joe then wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him as he then leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips which you quickly returned.
All of this led up to a heated make out session with Joe now hovering over top of you as his hands reached underneath his shirt that you were wearing. His fingers lightly grazed your nipples and he then began to roll them between his fingers as he noticed that your bra that you had been wearing had been long forgotten which he was thankful for.
Before he lifted his shirt over your head, he asked for permission to make sure you were absolutely sure about wanting to do this. Joe had wanted you from day one, but if you weren’t ready to do this he was willing to wait until you were.
“Are you…?”
“Yes. I was sure earlier tonight and I'm sure now. I know the last thing I'm ever going to regret is being with you.”
Once he peeled the shirt away from your body, he now had full access to you. The plan was to take his time so he could give you the undivided attention that you deserved since he knew for a fact that Trevor wasn't giving it to you without even having to ask you about it.
His mouth found its way to one of your nipples and he began to lightly suck on it while continuing to roll the other one in between his fingers before switching making a moan escape your mouth.
“Mmm, fuck.”
“I'm going to make you feel so good, princess.” He whispered against your lips before kissing them.
The increase in wetness between your thighs was evident as you Iet out soft quiet moans from the sensation of having him explore your body with his mouth.
As he moved further south, Joe's fingers ran along your folds as he saw how wet you actually were.
“This all for me? I've barely even done anything and your body is responding like this?” He asked you as he placed one kiss on each inner thigh.
As you nodded, he inserted one finger and soon worked himself up to two before settling in between your thighs and beginning to pleasure you with his tongue.
After a few minutes, he noticed you starting to squirm and firmly wrapped his arms around your legs in the hopes of limiting your movement.
“Stay still for me princess.” Was all you heard as your hands found a way to his hair and was softly tugging on it, hoping to bring him in closer.
With the use of his tongue along with his fingers, a new sensation unknown to you was building in the lower half of your body and at the same time, Joe began to suck on your clit.
“Oh, shit….”
Joe felt your hands trying to push him away from you, but all he did was tighten his hold on your legs making sure you had no way to get away from him.
“You gonna cum for me, baby? You won't be able to if you keep moving away from me.” Joe asked you as he had come up for air, but immediately went back down.
“Yes.” Was all you said as he began to suck harder.
It took no time at all for you to feel like you were seeing stars as Joe continued to pleasure you.
It was official.
Joe had given you your first orgasm.
He gave you a few minutes to recover as he was placing kisses up and down your thighs before sliding off his sweatpants along with his boxers as he opened the bedside table to pull out a condom. It was still obviously dark in the room, but you could literally see because of the light coming through the windows past the curtains, how big he was and you suddenly became nervous.
You thought to yourself that there was no way in hell that he was about to fit.
Joe could sense this as he was putting the condom on and quickly tried to reassure you.
“No reason to be nervous, baby. It's going to fit. Most important thing is that you have to relax for me.” He told you while leaning down to lightly stroke your face.
“Okay.” You quietly said in response, but you still weren’t convinced. But at the same time, you knew that Joe had no reason to lie to you.
Once he positioned himself in front of you, he reached down to kiss you and once he pulled away from you is when you heard his voice once more.
“You ready, princess?”
You nodded, but that obviously wasn’t enough for him.
“I need words, you need to say it. I’m not doing anything unless you do.”
“I’m ready.”
Once he finally heard it, you felt Joe slowly entering you and you tightly closed your eyes. As you did this, Joe immediately felt your body tense up.
It would have probably been a good idea to tell him that you had never had sex before before all of this began happening, but knew that he would be as gentle as possible with you regardless.
That's just the type of person he was when it came to you.
“Princess, you have to relax. It's me and the last thing that I am ever going to do is hurt you. When I told you that I loved you, I meant it. Every word.” He quietly said as he leaned down to kiss you.
You nodded and several more kisses were placed on your lips when you felt him easing the rest of the way into you at the same time making you gasp as your arms wrapped around his neck.
“You're okay, I got you baby.” Joe told you as he gave you time to adjust to his size before he made any sudden movement.
Kisses were planted along your neck and shoulder as you were adjusting to a new feeling that you had never experienced before. It wasn’t quite to the point of pleasure, however you weren’t necessarily in pain either.
It felt weird.
About a minute or so had passed when you slowly felt him begin to move and you wrapped your arms around him tighter.
Now all you felt was pleasure as moans escaped from your mouth when Joe began to increase his pace.
In order to go deeper and at a better angle, Joe held onto your hips before deciding to wrap your left leg around his waist.
“If you want this as bad as you say you do, keep those legs spread. Fuck you feel so good around me, just like I knew you would.”
Since your arms were already tightly wrapped around him, his face was in the crook of your neck as he had now leaned forward.
Making that sudden change in position, he was now hitting the same spot over and over again and you just knew that it was about to send you over the edge sooner or later.
You were thinking that it would probably be sooner.
“Fuck, Joey stay right there.” You breathed out as he lifted his head to steal a quick kiss from you.
Doing what you had asked him to, his movements increased in pace while also becoming sloppy at the same time making you think that he was just as close as you were.
“Joey, I…” You trailed off as a weird sensation was building in your stomach once more and you knew it was happening again.
The second orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks and you felt like you had gotten the wind knocked out of you.
As Joe heard your soft whimpers, he placed kisses all along your shoulder blade as you rode out your high.
He placed another kiss on your forehead before he slowly slipped out of you making you wince and went to throw away the condom.
Once he had come back, he had a washcloth with warm water in his right hand as he started to gently glide it onto your body in order to wipe you off.
When he was finished, he threw it into the hamper and laid back down beside you, ultimately pulling you on top of him. Your eyes began to become heavy between Joe rubbing small circles along your back and listening to Joe's heartbeat.
Your eyes fluttered open from hearing the television on a low volume and you could only assume that Joe was already awake. Once he noticed that you began to stir, he peeked down at you seeing as you were still laying on his chest.
“Good morning, princess.” He softly said before placing a kiss on your forehead.
“Good morning. What time is it?”
“It’s almost nine and I was about to wake you up since I know that you have class at ten and it takes you five to seven business days to get ready.”
“Really, Joey?” You replied as you rolled your eyes.
“I call it like I see it. I always tell you what time I’m going to come and get you, however, I’ll be downstairs waiting in the car while you only still have one of your lashes on.”
“You get on my last nerve.”
“But did I lie?”
When Joe was met with silence and another eye roll from you, all he did was laugh.
“I guess I have to go and get ready then.” You told him as you sighed, not wanting to leave his embrace.
“We can do dinner later and have a study date…. With or without clothes.”
“JOSEPH!”
“What? What’d I say that was wrong? I was just giving you options!” He exclaimed as he then held up his hands in defense.
“I’m ignoring you. What time are we doing our dinner and study date?”
“As soon as you get out of class, just come back here.”
“I’m honestly a little nervous to go back to my apartment.” You said being completely honest.
“Just get some of your things and you can stay with me, you know that I don’t care and the most important thing is that you’re safe. I have to go to class too, but I can call Ja’Marr…”
“NO! Baby brother asks too many questions. I’ll be fine. The security guy who works there is super nice and I know if I tell him I don’t feel all that safe he’ll walk me to my apartment door.”
“As long as you’re sure. But call me if there’s a problem, understand?”
“Understood, Mr. Burrow.”
—-
Joe was still running off of the high from this morning as he had woken up to the sight of you beside him. He was walking to his last class of the day on campus when he did a double take as he spotted you in front of one of the many libraries that he knew was near a few of your classes. But who he saw you with was why he instantly became upset.
You were talking to Trevor, who of course he despised and for good reason.
He couldn't tell what the nature of the conversation was by your body language and it almost looked as if Trevor was barely paying any attention to what you were saying which wasn’t unusual.
So, did last night mean nothing to you?
Joe was watching you for a few more minutes until he looked down at his watch and noticed that if he didn't leave now that he would end up being late to class.
At this point, he was done trying.
If that's who you wanted, then fine.
And he made it up in his mind that he was done.
Completely.
Throughout the day, you were calling him and sending him text messages, that ultimately went unanswered making you nervous.
You deserved to get an explanation on why he was suddenly acting this way towards you and immediately hopped into your car after packing your bags that you were going to take in order to stay with him and quickly drove to his apartment.
The banging on Joe's door instantly annoyed him seeing as he just sat down to watch one of the many NBA games that we’re coming on that night. He glanced at the clock to see that it was barely 6 pm and had a feeling that it was you.
A deep sigh escaped his mouth before he got up to answer it. Once he did, he was met with you just as he suspected and you had a pissed off look on your face and Joe raised his eyebrows at you in confusion.
“Yes? Did you need something?”
“So, you can have sex with me, but then suddenly ignore me? I may be little, but I will kick your 6’4 ass and throw a dumbbell at your head.” You asked him and pushed your way past him into the apartment.
“It's not even like that so stop jumping to conclusions.” Joe replied as he closed the door behind you.
“Then tell me so I can understand, Joey! Because you have me confused. You claim to want me so bad and then end up ignoring me all day!? When I called you multiple times? Who does that?”
“Because I saw you with him! Why the fuck are you even talking to him? Hasn’t he hurt you enough?”
“Now look who's jumping to conclusions.” You said as you crossed your arms.
“Then why else would you be with him? You did tell me recently that you were going to give him another chance. Recently as in yesterday before we had sex so I simply thought she claims she loves me, yet she's still going back to him.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose before you said anything else to him.
“You are literally so annoying. I went to talk to him to break up with him! Last time I checked you did confess that you loved me or did I not get that right?”
“Oh.” Joe quietly said and you couldn't help but to roll your eyes.
You started to make your way back towards the door in order to leave when you felt Joe suddenly pull you back as he wrapped his arms around you.
“Let me go. I'm mad at you.” You said as you were trying to wiggle out of his grip.
“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything.” He replied as he turned you around to face him and leaned down to kiss you.
“No, don't kiss me. Turn me loose. Leave me alone. All you literally had to do was just ask me.”
“I know, but seeing you with him just pissed me off and so I walked away. I promise it won’t happen again. You forgive me? I’m not letting you go until you say you do.” Joe asked you as he squeezed you tighter and leaned down to kiss your forehead.
“I guess.” You muttered as he led the both of you over to the couch as Joe sat down first and then pulled you onto his lap.
“So, is it official now?” You asked him as he had been focused on the game that was playing on the television.
“Is what official?”
“Me being LSU's star quarterback Joe Burrow's girlfriend.” You teased as you kissed the tip of his nose.
“You've been mine for a while. That ex-boyfriend of yours was just keeping my spot warm. I bet he never made you feel as good as I did last night.” Joe told you as he was wiggling his eyebrows as you both then let out a laugh.
“No, because I never had sex with Trevor.”
Joe immediately stopped laughing and looked at you with wide eyes.
“Wait, huh?”
“I never did because I told him that I wanted to wait. That was one of the only things he actually did respect, but I know for a fact that he's probably cheated on me multiple times because of it, but I just ignored it.” You replied while being completely honest.
“Uh, princess? Don't you think you should have told me that? Fuck did I…? Shit. I would have made it a lot more special if I would have known. I would have had candles and…”
“Stop it. It was perfect. Everything was perfect.” You cut him off as you kissed him and tried to reassure him.
“I waited for the right person who I knew for a fact was going to treat me right.”
#joe burrow#joe burrow smut#joe burrow lsu#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow x black reader#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow fic#joe burrow fanfic#joey b#joey burrow#joe shiesty#nfl imagine#joe burrow fluff#Spotify
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I want to be Art’s dealer when he needs an eighth after one of his games. I want him to get my number from Patrick because he’s new to this & doesn’t know anyone or anywhere else to get it. Hey, u got any weed? He texts him.
Not on me.
Shit.
I know I’ve been going crazy
Do u know anyone?
The next message is your number. No name. No address. Nothing. But Art’s desperate for a cool down that doesn’t include a tub of ice or a communal sauna. He’s going out on a limb here—hitting send as soon as Patrick relays the message. Nothing too suspicious. You’re at home when you receive a text from an unknown sender.
Maybe Art: Hey, Patrick gave me ur number. This is Art
Come by around 9
You tell him which dorm.
Maybe Art: Okay
He’s at your door at nine sharp, still in his tennis uniform. He’s sweaty from practice, nervously gripping his racket bag and wondering if he should knock or text. Obviously he’s never done this.
He knocks. Doesn’t expect to be met with a girl half his size on the other side. Maybe you’re just the dude’s girlfriend and you happen to be over and end up answering. And in that case he really shouldn’t be looking but he can’t help it. Your hair is wet like you just got done showering. Your shorts ride up, or maybe he’s just imagining things. But he’s not imagining your shirt that’s see-through and barely covers your abdomen. He introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Art.” Maybe that’ll clear up the confusion.
“Yeah you texted me earlier. Come on in.” You leave the door open. You also leave Art dumbfounded.
Art makes sure to shut the door behind him but he doesn’t sit down. Stands awkwardly by the entrance, wondering what he should do with his bag, thumbing the strap.
“So Patrick sent you, huh?” Your voice comes from the kitchen and Art nods even though you can’t see him. He realizes this and dumbly says yes. You look up from the counter, sandwich bag in hand, and you smile at Art who’s fiddling his thumbs by the doorway. “You can sit down. Make yourself at home.”
"Cool." He settles down on your couch, looking around the place, trying not to be obvious even though it is. You smile, wanting to relax him. That's what he's here for, isn't it? His tennis bag is at his feet and he rests his hands on his knees, trying to take up as little space as possible.
"I won't bite, you know," you say, sitting next to him. You place a scale on the coffee table next to a tray of weed that's already been ground. About an ounce, though Art's never seen that much weed at one time. The only time he smokes is with Patrick every once in a while.
"Yeah, I know. I just--"
"What? Is this your first time or something?"
"No! I--I mean. Buying yes." His cheeks are red.
"Okay well don't worry. It's real easy." Art nods. Believes this. "Well."
"Well what?"
"Now I know why Patrick sent you to me."
"Sometimes it's easy." You laugh. Like an inside joke you have but only with yourself. "Sorry I shouldn't have said that."
"No it's fine." And Art gives you this look. Like it is fine. Keep going. Explain everything to me. He wants to know the basics, the hard stuff and everything in between. You just shake your head. Ask how much he needs. "How much do people usually get?"
"Depends on the person." You shrug.
"How much does Patrick get?"
"Like an ounce. Half if he's short on cash." Art raises his eyebrow, shocked he didn't know that about his friend.
"So I should get an ounce," Art says. More of a question than a statement. He's testing the waters. Putting himself out there.
"How much do you smoke?" You push back. You want him to be careful. You also can't risk putting a super hot new customer in danger.
"Honestly? Only with Patrick." He's bashful when he admits this. You probably think he's lame now and totally off your radar. You're never gonna let him step foot into this apartment let alone sell to him again.
"Yeah you don't need an ounce," you say smiling, thinking of how he came in all politely with his tennis racket just like a puppy, tail tucked nervously between its legs, not knowing if he should stand or sit, silently observing your things. He has a good head on his shoulder with a future ahead of him and here you are selling him weed. Who are you to take advantage of such a thing just because Patrick sent him?
"So what do I need?"
"Probably some melatonin and a really good massage. But I'll give you an eighth and pretend like this never happened." This is the first time you've felt bad about selling. You take a jar from a drawer. There's even more weed in it than on the table, but in clumps. Green wads with streaks of purple. You set each on the scale in individuals first before packaging his pile in the bag you grabbed from earlier. "Here."
"How much?"
"On me this time. Think of it as a sample. You got a grinder or you smoking with Patrick?" Art's at a loss for words. He wants to pay you. He has cash too. He'll take you out to dinner. Instead he just says
"No, I, uh. Don't."
"Want me to roll you a joint?"
But before he can say anything you already find yourself folding a zig-zag with the filter, scooping the weed you have out with your fake nail into the paper. Art watches your hands. An expert at work. He thinks how everyone has their own niche and this is yours, just like how he has the tennis court.
When you walk him out you tell him to be safe. You're still smiling. You've never been this happy to not get money. He's about to leave but says, "I can pay, you know. I want this to be an honest transaction and everything."
"Art, I'm a drug dealer."
"Yeah, well--"
"Bye, Artie."
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two wheels
george russell x biker!reader, social media!au
summary george's new girlfriend seems way too cool for him and the fans just cannot believe it
notes bit of a longer one here (what is a plot) but i just wanted to do something fun since it's the winter break. and i love poking a bit of fun at my favs
yourusername
tagged: yourbestfriend and 6 others
Liked by lilymhe, georgerusselll63, and 29,412 others
yourusername that's my party people! 🍾
10 December 2023
view 116 comments
yourbestfriend for the record, everything that happened after 9pm is completely yn's fault
⤷ yourusername sooo r u still up for next week?
⤷ yourbestfriend @/yourusername 100%
⤷ yourfriend1 yn is the reason why you shouldn't drink and drive 😭
nadissodone HOLDDDDD IT 🚨🚨 george liked this post
⤷ 44formula but he wasn't tagged soo??
⤷ goatmilton what is a polar bear doing in arlington texas 💀💀💀
champagneshower no way 4th slide is george tho
liked by yourusername
⤷ jadedtrack it does kinda look like him tbf
4strobaby yn ma'am could you please confirm whether or not you have a boyfriend
liked by yourusername
⤷ 4strobaby GUYS SHE LIKED THE COMMENT THIS MIGHT MEAN SOMETHING
⤷ unevilincorporated OMG WAIT @/yourusername does that boyfriend happen to be f1 driver george russell???
liked by yourusername and georgerussell63
⤷ unevilincorporated BOTH HER AND GEORGE LIKED THAT ONE???? IT DEFINITELY MEANS SOMETHING
⤷ maroon.jpg @unevilincorporated yall are crazy why are we playing ouija board with comment likes 😭😭
georgerussell63
Liked by pierregasly, yourusername, and 127,384 others
georgerussell63 Pretty good start to winter break ❄️
p.s. thanks danielricciardo for the wine
18 December 2023
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danielricciardo Hope you guys enjoyed the wine!
⤷ yourusername the wine was a banger, will 100% be getting more
⤷ tracklimited @/yourusername oh yeah she basically just confirmed that they're together 💀
oceanblvd im almost positive that's yn's helmet theyre really not trying to hide it anymore
yourusername • 3hrs ago | georgerussell63 • 2hrs ago / 20 December 2023
you replied to georgerussell63's story:
i'm taking u out on another one tmr and u can't say no babe
georgerussell63:
what if i do say no?
you:
u can't. i'll kidnap u and throw u on my bike
georgerussell63:
i could run away
and i think mercedes will have something to say about that
you:
don't worry, i won't keep you for too long
besides, the team loves me
they'll let me off the hook
georgerussell63:
i don't like how i can't argue with that
yourusername
tagged: georgerussell63 and 7 others
Liked by francisca.cgomes and 211,220 others
yourusername i should be playing in the winter snow, but imma be under the mistletoe (with youuu)
25 December 2023
view 213 comments
lilymhe nobody tell her it wasn’t snowing in london last night
⤷ yourusername i wouldn’t have known anyway tbh
⤷ pierregasly @/yourusername too busy?
⤷ georgerussell63 @/pierregasly we can’t disclose that i’m afraid.. the nda and all that 😂😂
⤷ brockenclocks @/pierregasly why is pierre always at the scene of the crime 😭😭
⤷ certifiedlvrgrrl @/georgerussell63 george wtf do u mean by the nda
mercedesamgf1 Merry Christmas from the team!
liked by yourusername
yourusername • 2hrs ago / 28 December 2023
yourusername
tagged: georgerussell63 and 4 others
Liked by lissiemackintosh, georgerussell63, and 52,220 others
yourusername starting the year off in the beautiful south of france 💋
📸 1&2: georgerussell63
4 January 2024
view 224 comments
georgerussell63 i think i should get credits for the 4th pic too since it was taken on my phone
⤷ yourusername georgie please just let it go 😭
⤷ georgerussell63 @ yourusername you took 50 pictures before letting me leave the bathroom and i was only in half of them.
⤷ yourusername @ georgerussell63 they're for ur personal collection 😘
⤷ moonriver @ yourusername PERSONAL COLLECTION????
⤷ sativaur @ yourusername "personal collection" yn im going insane
fonedance yn you're so fine please break up with ur bf i can treat you better than he ever will
⤷ cuntlonso realest thing i've read all day 😭😭😭
georgerussell63
Liked by pierregasly, logansargeant, and 216,993 others
georgerussell63 A refreshing little getaway to start the year
📸 2: yourusername
4 January 2024
view 431 comments
jadedfc the way his arm wraps around her in their pics im sosoo sick
⤷ rollemodel he lowkey shut down all the haters with it too
⤷ sunburnns that should be me pls
yourusername
tagged: georgerussell63
Liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe and 39.238 others
yourusername trying out a couple extra wheels...
16 January 2024
view 146 comments
yourbestfriend coolest girl itw ⚡️
lilymhe so the final verdict on 2 vs 4 wheels is...?
⤷ georgerussell63 4 wins
⤷ yourusername @/georgerussell63 hell no it's obviously 2 🙄
⤷ georgerussell63 @/yourusername think that's because you lost by an entire lap?
⤷ yourusername @/georgerussell63 as if you didn't almost fall off the bike!! u're also biased
⤷ georgerussell63 @/yourusername why don't we just agree to disagree?
⤷ yourusername @/georgerussell63 you just don't wanna admit i'm right
⤷ motogp @/georgerussell63 @/yourusername🍿🍿🍿
⤷ lilymhe @/motogp pass me some, too
⤷ alex_albon @/motogp me 3
gr63stan their arguing is so adorable 😭😭
mercrarri yep i still think she's way too cool for him
⤷ landoshelmet ikr she's such a badass and he's... there
⤷ pastrydish literal she's everything and he's just ken
⤷ 4lbons she already said leave the man alone damn 😭😭
maiadrsh george russell has to be the luckiest man alive
⤷ yourusername more like sexiest man alive
⤷ alex_albon @/yourusername i did NOT need to see you say that today 🤢
⤷ georgerussell63 @alex_albon you'd better believe it 😎
⤷ alex_albon @/georgerussell63 not today, not for a single one of the past 15 years we've known each other, and not ever
⤷ yourusername @alex_albon sincerely, even i doubt that second part
⤷ silverstoned what is yn insinuating in these comments 🤨
an: i feel like every time i post a new smau i level up and introduce new formatting. also comment tags r weird bcs i wna avoid tagging real users and it irks me
bonus:
yourusername • 12hrs ago
seen by georgerussell63, francisca.cgomes, and 153,329 others
georgerussell63 replied to your story | 16:44
"but you love me more"
"right?"
you | 16:45
"hmmmm i gotta think about it"
"i'll tell you tomorrow?"
georgerussell63 | 16:46
"..."
"i can't believe i might lose to a bike 😐"
you | 16:46
"jokes 😭"
"would you pick your car over me, though?"
georgerussell63 | 16:48
"no comment"
you | 16:49
"george."
georgerussell63 | 16:51
"i love you"
you | 16:52
"i'm coming over"
#george russell x reader#george russell smau#george russell#george russell fanfic#george russell imagine#formula one#f1#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#formula one fanfic#formula 1 x reader#george russell x you#alex albon#george russell social media au#f1 smau#george russell one shot#f1 one shot
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First Crush - 4
It's been about a week & a half since you've seen Bucky Barnes around the Tower. You knew he was out on a mission, but didn't know when he'd be returning. Abby has been asking you if you've see him at work.
You spent an entire evening with Abby sitting in your lap trying to explain that Bucky has to fly away sometimes to stop bad people. And sometimes we didn't know how long he'll be gone. "Are there plenty bad people, Mama?"
Hugging her tight, "There are a lot less, because Sergeant Barnes is very very good at catching the bad guys and putting them in jail. But sometimes his job takes a long time." Abby is silent, which is odd for your talkative daughter. "What's the matter, Baby?"
She shakes her head, getting out of your lap, to hug you around the neck, "Cans I sleeps with yous, Mama?"
Worried, "Ok, baby." Maybe you didn't explain things correctly. Did she not understand?
*****
You've been with Fury all morning attending his meetings with him so you were there when he was notified that Bucky's team returned. You attended the debriefing and you couldn't help but sneak glances at Bucky. Besides a bruise along his jaw and a split lip, he looked fine. You knew Abby was going to be thrilled when you told her tonight that Bucky was home.
After the meeting concluded, you and Bucky were leaving at the same time. "I'm glad your mission was a success, Sergeant."
"Yea, thanks."
"Abby keeps asking me if you were home yet." Bucky laughs softly, but a smile lingers. "We...she was worried. We were worried."
"I'm fine," shrugging off his cuts and bruises.
"I'm glad."
He leans in, making your hold your breath, "My friends call me, Bucky."
A little breathy, "Y/N." Before you know it, you're at your office door.
"See you around, Y/N." He turns as he walks away, "Tell Abby I said 'hi'."
*****
Lifting Abby onto her chair at the dinner table, "Guess who I saw today?"
Her head whips to you, eyes wide, "Mr. S'gent came home?" You smile wide & nod. She claps her hands & screams and slides down from her chair.
"Abby?" She runs away still screaming, "Abigail!" She stops turning back to you. "Get back here, please. What are you doing?"
"I needs to draws him a letter, Mama!"
You laugh, "You need to eat your dinner first. Come sit down." Frowning she waddles back to you. "I didn't say you couldn't do it, but you need to eat dinner first." You kiss her and put her back in her seat.
Still frowning, "Did he get the bad guys?"
"He did!" Placing her raviolis in front of her, clipping a napkin around her neck. Pasta gets a little messy. "He also wanted me to tell you he said 'hi'."
Abby's frown disappears, "He 'members me?"
"Of course he remembers you. I told you he wouldn't forget." She does a happy wiggle in her chair & laughs. She quickly eats her dinner so she can get to her letter writing...drawing.
"Mama?"
"Yes, Baby?"
Bringing her paper to you, "Can you make the words over here?"
"Sure, what do you want it to say?"
Leaning her body against you, looking at the blank paper, "Um...ummm"
"You want me to write, Um Um?"
She laughs, "No, Mama! Writes "good work'."
"You mean good job?"
"Uh huh, yea. Good job." She watches you write and takes the paper back to her little desk. She draws a stick person with colorful circles over her head, that you are guessing are balloons. "Can we go give it to Mr S'gent now?"
"Baby, its late, no. You need to take a bath & go to sleep. When I go to work on Monday, I'll make sure he gets it."
"No! I wants to give it!" Her mouth turns down in a frown & her eyes start to tear.
"Abby, it's the weekend. And you need to go to daycare..."
"Oh, please mama!" You noticed it's not a tantrum or stubbornness, but it's almost like she's distressed.
"Baby?" You gather her in your lap. "What's wrong?" She cries.
You rub her back trying to comfort her. "The bad people."
Aw shit. You shouldn't have told her about bad people when explaining Bucky's job. "You worried about the bad people? What bad people?"
"They...they fight Mr. S'gent." She cries harder. You feel horrible for making her worried. Your eyes fill with tears too.
"Honey, Mr. Sergeant is ok. I promise." Her tears stop but her grip on you hasn't lessen. You untangle yourself from her to wipe away her tears with the hem of your shirt & giving her kisses. "Ok, how about this, you cannot come to work with Mama, but we can go there tomorrow & drop off your letter at his office so he sees it first thing when he comes in to work. How does that sound? You'll be able to give him a surprise and I"m sure that will make him so happy."
"I surprises him?"
You nod, "And after we leave his surprise, we can go to the park & picnic. We can feed the ducks. Would you like that? Would that make you feel better?" She nods & rubs her face in your shirt. "I love you so much, my baby."
@waywardhunter95 @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @crazyunsexycool @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitommmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @samsgirl93
Next Chapter
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P*rn ☆ Chapter 6, Fear and despair
Masterlist Word count: 2 k Sylus x Fem!Reader
Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.
Author's note: Ya'll ready to cry?! Me neither... Also, for anyone wondering why I don't English so good sometimes. I am Dutch and nothing is proofread <3
Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains sex, swear words, porn, smoking, intimate piercings, mentions of drugs, alcohol, mentions of domestic abuse, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.
Mature content under the cut. No graphic content. Mention of abuse.
∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘
'You're not quite here with me.' You look up from the cup of tea you had been absentmindedly stirring since it was put in front of you. He's right. He's always right. Well... Most times.
Your mind has been a mess. There's the whole Sylus thing, yes, that's something that takes up way too much space in your head. You keep thinking back to last Saturday, sitting on the couch with him watching the rise and fall of sexual tension. Seeing him try so hard to do small talk while pretending he wasn't looking at your lips and body like a man starved. He had kissed your forehead when he left and you leaned into it. Even thinking about it gives you butterflies.
But there's another thing on your mind. A much more menial thing. Something much easier to discuss with Zayne.
'How come I never heard you shower when you lived next door?' Zayne tilts his head, looking at you a little confused.
'That's what you've been stuck on?' You reluctantly nod. It's stupid, so damn stupid, but Zayne still answers. 'When I moved out, Rafayel was talking about a new ventilation system. Maybe it connects to yours?'
'That makes a lot of sense actually,' you groan, leaning back in your chair defeated. 'I can't believe I've been so busy thinking about that.'
'You're an interior architect; shouldn't it be logical to you?' He's got a point and a very good one at that. You also could've just asked Rafayel, but no. You'd like to avoid that man as much as possible. He always tries to get you to do work for free, without even offering to lower you rent for a month or something. No way.
You look around the coffee shop. This is you and Zayne's regular spot. The place is very big and open, but sound doesn't bounce around nor echo. There's tons of natural light and very kind yellow lights when the sun goes down. The furniture is a mix and match of secondhand stuff that's surprisingly pleasing to the eye and most chairs are comfortable. Then again, the chairs that aren't comfortable to you could be very comfortable to someone else. There are tons of plants scattered around, lots of cut vintage decor like old Matchbox cars and very old adverts on metal plates. On the floor are a few rugs that have almost worn into the floor and have major damage where people often walk. Almost looks like the rugs have crop circles.
It might not be for everyone, even Zayne used to be a little uncomfortable here at first, but it's grown on both of you. The employees are kind and helpful, the music is always good and never too loud. It's a good atmosphere.
'Anyway, how is the new neighbor?' Your cheek flush almost right away when you meet Zayne's eyes. 'What is it? Are you alright?' He leans over the table to touch your forehead, worried you might be sick.
'I'm fine, I'm fine. His name is Sylus and he's hot- A LOT, he's a lot.' Zayne chuckles at your antics while you feel your ears burning. Not exactly the information you wanted to share with Zayne. Truly, it doesn't matter all that much in the end. He's like a brother to you and he knows nearly everything about your life. A fact that you wish was still true the other way around as well but he's been too busy to tell you everything. And now that you've dropped the "Sylus is hot" bomb, he's not letting it go until you tell him everything.
For a professional, cold doctor he's surprisingly desperate for gossip.
'I'm sure he's a lot,' he says with a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips, 'you were worried he might be loud. Is that the case?'
'A bit. He's awake deep into the night, so sometimes I hear him moving around in his apartment or playing music late at night. It's nothing too bad though. Though Tara seems a bit cautious around him. Apparently, he's friends with her boyfriend.' A slight frown appears on Zayne's face. If you hadn't known him as long as you have, you wouldn't have noticed. But you do know him. 'What's that look for?'
'Tara is dating that Kieran boy, right?' You nod and he tries to soften his face. 'Hm, I don't know them very well. It's probably not who I'm thinking of.'
'Who are you thinking of?' And suddenly he looks real serious. The temperature inside is suddenly a few degrees lower and the bubble we were in feels like a soundproof chamber. 'Zayne, who are you think of?'
'I wish I could tell you, but patient confidentiality forbids me.'
“Patient confidentiality? What the hell? Is this even about Sylus?”
Zayne reaches out for my hand on the table and gently takes it in his. 'Don't worry about it too much. I'm not even sure if it's the same guy.'
'You're right,' you say, trying to smile as wide as you can while pushing the racing thoughts in your mind down.
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"She has a boyfriend? Shit." Sylus tries to quicken his pace while he walks past the coffee shop before you see him, but he's too slow. You spot him and smile at him. A big smile, one that almost makes his cheeks hurt from looking at it.
Wait... He's smiling back?
No matter, he keeps walking. But then he catches the slightest glimpse of the man sitting with her and his blood runs cold. It's like a distant memory, or more like a distant nightmare. He can only hope and pray and doctor Zayne hasn't seen him.
It's been years, but Sylus still fears the doctor might remember him. It wouldn't be too bad, the man saved his life, but he doesn't want you knowing. Not yet at least. What if he asked how his recovery is going? What if he asked if his scars healed okay? What if he asked if his situation has changed? How would he answer those questions and not revert back to that scared little boy she made him.
Because all that still feels so raw, even though it's years ago. He should've been fine by now, at least that's what he thinks. Time heals all wounds, right? Three years should be enough. More than enough.
That being said, his first doxing was her. She put his address out there as a last-ditch attempt to get him to "commit" to her. To make him obey like a fucking dog.
He isn't even sure how all of it happened back then, but it did. Maybe it was just young love. Yeah, young love at 24. No, he was just naïve and stupid. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
What he does know is that he is nearly running home. He's stuck in his own head, tears prickling in his eyes. How does this keep happening at any mention, thought, or glimpse of her? It's not normal. He should be okay.
It feels like he's picking up a fever as he unlocks the door to his apartment. He faintly hears the sound of his name but his chest is getting tight and he has to get inside. Why does this affect him so fucking much?
And suddenly he recognizes what is going on. He's having a panic attack.
He hasn't had a panic attack in the last two years. He's been fine, he should still be fine. Is it because he saw doctor Zayne again? Because he is with you? Because all he can think of when seeing doctor Zayne's face is how much pain he was in and how scared he was?
“This is not fucking normal. Breathe Sylus, breathe. You know how to breathe. You've been doing it all your fucking life. Just stop panicking!”
The voice in his head is no help. He slumps against the back of the couch in the middle of his living room, not able to make it to the bathroom to take a cold shower. Cold showers usually shock him out of it. His breathing stays rapid, his eyes looking for anything in reach that can help him but there are dark spots all over his vision.
He closes his eyes for just a moment. Just a little bit. A second, no more. He wakes up with a few slaps to his cheek. His head feels cold against the wooden floor of his apartment. When did he fall over?
'Sylus? Sylus? Look at me.' It's you. Your voice is desperate, scared, as you grab his shoulders and try to pull him upright again. He tries to help you, moving ever so slightly to a sitting position. Your hand raises up to his forehead, brushing the hair sticking to his sweaty skin away. 'Are you alright?'
'Always with you around,' Sylus says, trying to look and sound like a womanizer, but failing miserably. To you, he just looks a bit loopy. His breathing is still ragged and strange.
'Cute,' you note with a frown, 'now breathe with me.' You grab his hand and press it against your chest, just underneath your collarbone. 'Ready?' He nods. 'Breathe in.' He feels your chest rise slowly as you breathe in with him, your heard thumping under his hand in a steady, comforting rhythm.
Slowly, the whole world disappears. His eyes are laser focused on yours, ears zeroed in on the sound of your voice and your breathing. To him, you look like an angel. His guardian angel.
'Breathe out.'
Your chest falls, he breathes out. It feels like seconds have passed but by the time you let go of his hand, the sun is setting. He last checked his phone around 16:30 before he saw you at the coffee shop, so that means it's close to six, it being wintertime.
Finally lucid again, his heartbeat slowed, his breathing steady, he asks: 'Why did you follow me?'
The coldness of his questions shocks you and you answer: 'I felt like you needed someone to be there for you.'
He lets out a cold laugh, something that sounds close to disbelief but also much much closer to insecurity. A sound you hadn't expected coming from his mouth. He knows you think he's hot, he knows you are attracted to him, but he does not know you. He does not know about your youth, your struggle with panic attacks, your loneliness. But he doesn't need to know for you to be able to help him.
If only he'd believe that you only want to help.
'How do you know doctor Zayne?' There's something possessive in his tone, something you wouldn't have expected right now.
'He used to live here before you. We're friends.' He stays quiet for a while, staring at you but not quite. More like he's looking through you, disassociating. 'I'm gonna get you a glass of water.' You move to your feet, but he grabs your wrist and holds you where you are. He's suddenly back, eyes watching you with immense focus.
'Do you pity me?' The words sound like an accusation, like he's admitting he doesn't like what happened and that you "had" to see it. So much grief in those few words, a grief that goes much deeper than you can imagine.
'Pity you?'
He lets go of your wrist with an angry expression. He quickly gets up, refusing to look at you any longer. 'Never mind. I think it'd be better if you leave.'
'What? Sylus-' You try to reach out for him, but when he looks back at you there's venom in his eyes. Your hand hangs in the air, halfway reaching towards his forearm. And then you drop it. 'Okay, if that's what you want.'
He walks you to the door, his chest full of regret, embarrassment, shame. He was doing so damn well and now you've seen him like that. Like a shell, something defective, a bird with a broken wing. In the doorway you turn back to him so that he can't close the door on you. All he can see in your eyes in compassion, adoration and, strangely enough, love.
'For what it's worth, I don't pity you. My opinions and feelings about you haven't changed,' you hesitate for a second and look down at the ground, 'and I hope you'll still ask me out. I do really want to get to know you. All of you.'
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#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#lnds sylus#sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus love and deepspace#sylus x reader#sylus x mc#sylus x fem!reader#lads sylus smut#l&ds sylus smut#lnds sylus smut#sylus smut#love and deepspace sylus smut#sylus love and deepspace smut#sylus x reader smut#sylus x mc smut#sylus x fem!reader smut#lads sylus fanfiction#l&ds sylus fanfiction#lnds sylus fanfiction#sylus fanfiction#love and deepspace sylus fanfiction#sylus love and deepspace fanfiction#sylus x reader fanfiction#sylus x mc fanfiction#sylus x fem!reader fanfiction#lads sylus fanfic#l&ds sylus fanfic#lnds sylus fanfic
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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!
No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)
25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim
This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!
OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:
WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3
Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)
I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!
Below the cut:
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)
On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)
Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)
I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)
I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)
1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)
2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)
3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)
4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)
5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)
On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)
6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)
7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)
8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)
9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)
10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)
Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)
11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)
12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)
13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)
14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)
15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)
I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)
16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have. If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)
17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)
17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)
18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)
19) In my head he’s the responsible one. (Gotham Knights 10)
I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)
20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)
21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)
22) I trust him. When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)
23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)
24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)
25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)
Final rambling thoughts:
TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.
SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.
And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf
All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.
But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!
Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.
And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --
-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3
#i enjoyed thinking about this so much i wrote a novel with All My Thoughts sorry sdfsdfs#tim drake#dick grayson#somewhat tangential but as i was writing this i was thinking about zahri's post#about how different types of stories offer different kinds of emotional payoffs#and i think for me for dick and tim the main two payoffs are:#1) someone who sees & understands your grief for deaths that will never get fixed or get better#and who will face your ghosts with you EVEN WHEN you're also mad at each other#2) someone who you look at and you see all the ways that you suck & he's better & you're a loser who's failed him etc etc#but it turns out that you're wrong. that you're good enough. not that none of the failures were real or that they were all in your head#but it turns out that it's okay that you didn't always immediately do or feel the right thing#and it's okay that you weren't perfect. you can fuck up six thousand ways & everything you did right will still matter#not because of making excuses or allowances or somebody pityingly trying to make you feel better#but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong#all the times you tried & everything that you tried to give - everything you think wasn't good enough - it was.#IN OTHER WORDS they are both convinced they're not good enough & they are both wrong <3#anyway dick and tim are both INCREDIBLY SIMILAR and also CONSTANTLY misreading each other and i love that for them#and like. they will sometimes totally misread each other & then never figure out the part that they misunderstood#but then they manage to keep going anyway. we love each other on purpose <333#ask tag#dick&tim
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Concerned Sentences, Vol. 8
(Concerned sentences from various sources. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"I don't think you can go back to the way it was before."
"You look like you could use some company?"
"Are you sure you don't want to see a doctor?"
"I still think this is deeply irresponsible - and believe me, I would know!"
"Maybe you should tell me what's bothering you?"
"Research shows that it's easier to open up when relaxed. It allows you to talk about what's really bothering you."
"If I know you at all, this isn't the only reason you're here."
"You're acting like you've lost your mind!"
"I think you've had enough to drink."
"You've forgotten what it's like to feel emotions!"
"I've never seen much good come from looking to the past."
"Sometimes an emotional injury doesn't show itself right away."
"This may be something of an understatement, but you are not doing well."
"What secrets are darkening your brow?"
"Grief can drive people to extraordinary lengths."
"You're self-medicating with homemade drugs?"
"Shouldn't you be resting?"
"You do look stressed! Would you like some ginger tea? Or maybe just some gin?"
"If there's one thing I've learnt, it's you can't run away from your own life."
"Don't torture yourself with hypotheticals."
"I know this is serious, but you can still smile. You're allowed to enjoy things."
"I know you want to help me, but I don't think you can this time."
"You've always blamed yourself for things that weren't your fault."
"You can keep on telling yourself that you're fine, but you're not fine!"
"Don't worry about me. I don't want it, I don't need it. Just don't do it."
"If you keep going down this path, something really bad is going to happen."
"I know I don't know you well enough to say this, but you haven't seemed yourself lately."
"You haven't left the house in over a week! You can't just stay inside watching old movies all the time!"
"Does anyone know how sick you are?"
"I have experience with this - this sort of pain - and you can't escape it by building walls around your heart."
"You seem uncomfortable."
"When was the last time that you had a hug?"
#rp meme#rp memes#roleplay meme#roleplay memes#rp prompts#roleplay prompts#sentence starters#assorted;#concerned;
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The soda jar predated me, so I gave it a wide berth, and didn't bring it up often. It was big and plastic, and had once contained cheese puffs, so more of a barrel than a jar. It said "SODA" in big block letters that had been shaded in. I didn't ask about it. Besides, I had switched over to only drinking water years ago, with a few rare exceptions, and game night wasn't one of them, at least not at first.
Whenever someone wanted a soda, they would grab it from the fridge, and then they would put money into the soda jar. There was a little sign below the big "SODA" on it, and I tried not to look too interested, because it would be weird to go to a friend's house and say "hey, what the hell is this".
But by the fourth night I was feeling like I belonged there, so I read the fine print. It was a list of sodas and how much each of them cost.
"You want a soda?" asked Roger.
"Uh," I said. "No, I have water."
"You want soda, just grab it from the fridge, prices are on the jar," he said.
I had a sense that this was a Social Encounter, and that I was on the verge of failing it, but I had to know, so I asked.
"Why?"
Roger turned to look at me, then he frown at the jar. "Just ... you know. Keep things fair?"
I nodded a bit. "But I mean ..."
"Yeah?" he asked.
"No, it's just," I said. "Like, how much does a soda cost?"
"It's on the jar," said Roger, pointing at the jar.
"Right," I said. "But we're all adults, we all have jobs, the cost is like ... a rounding error, right?"
Roger shrugged. "It's about being fair."
"Right, right," I said. "It's just ... if someone wants a soda, then they go to the minifridge, and then they have to have money on them, and have to look at the price, and then pay that price into the soda jar, which seems like ..." I held up a hand. "I mean, it's how you do things, I guess."
"Right," said Roger with a frown. "I mean, how would you do it?"
"I would just ... have people bring in soda?" I said. "I would go to Costco and get a big thing of it, and then just ... it's like, how much could it possibly be?"
"It adds up," said Roger.
"Right, but it also adds down, doesn't it," I said.
"What the hell does that mean?" asked Roger. He was frowning at me, and it was hard to tell whether this was good-natured curious frowning or if I was annoying him.
"There's like ... a lot of overhead, a lot of cognitive, social, emotional sort of friction, right?" I asked. "Having things for people to drink is casual hospitality, and if you're doing it this way, then you have to update the pricing sheet, and you have to have everyone be thinking about things, and ... I just think in the scheme of things it's just ... I don't mean to offend you by way of criticizing this system."
"People should pay their fair share," said Roger, like he was stuck in a loop, or like he was an NPC repeating his dialogue.
"I am suggesting a communist regime wherein we do not worry too much about that and, because the costs are nominal compared to wages, we do not track or worry about prices," I said. "I mean, I don't want to assume that other people are like ... comfortably wealthy, but if anyone is worried about a few dollars for soda, then yeah, I'll just pay their way and we don't need to talk about it or acknowledge it."
"You're offering to pay for the whole group?" asked Roger.
I considered that. "I'm saying that I would bring in a big cube of it and then someone else could bring in a big cube next time."
"Some kind of rotating schedule?" asked Roger. "Like, a roster of whose turn it is?"
"No," I said. "No, the whole point is ... I mean the point is that we shouldn't need a system, we're adults, soda is, in addition to being super bad for you, very cheap, and we shouldn't care about having any kind of system, we should just have faith that it'll work itself out."
"Okay," said Roger. "But like ... what if it doesn't? I buy soda, people drink all the soda, then no one gets more, so I get more, and people drink it, and then there's no soda again."
"I don't know," I said. "We could talk about it like adults?"
"Or we could just have a sign," said Roger.
And then our break was over, and I hated that I let him get the last word, but I also sort of knew that I wasn't going ever quite be comfortable in that group. Maybe Roger had been burned before, maybe he had been burned a lot, but the soda jar suffused the feeling of the whole group, and I could tell that I was never going to get them out of the soda jar mindset.
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Breaking Point
Spencer Reid x reader
notes: angst/arguing followed by fluff/comfort, gn!reader, no use of y/n
wc: 884
Every relationship had their weakness, the one thing that tested how strong two people really were together. You and Spencer found out months into dating that your relationship's pressure point was exhaustion. It hit you both after two back to back cases across the country in one week, a friend’s wedding on Saturday, and a dinner with your parents on Sunday. By the next week, the two of you were stretched thin.
For you, the exhaustion made you irritable. Things you usually had patience for were getting under your skin and turning you into, quite frankly, an asshole. Spencer somehow had the most patience in the world and this only pissed you off more. Why wasn't he annoyed that your neighbors kept taking up two parking spots? Why was he so calm when you lost power for 12 hours?
As much as you ranted, Spencer listened. He made it a point to be a good boyfriend even on your worst days. This didn't mean that the exhaustion didn't get to him too. Spencer’s lack of sleep brought out his insecurities. The more irritable you got, the more worried Spencer became that he was the one annoying you.
On a normal week, you had more control over your emotions. You were thoughtful about how you spoke to Spencer and you were able to let the small stuff roll off your back. But this week wasn't a normal week and you couldn't stop the anger that kept slipping out of you around every corner. Spencer’s solution was to give you space, but deep down, you didn't want to be alone. Not even on your worst day did you want Spencer not to be curled up on your couch with you.
And how could Spencer say no to you? He wasn't evil, if you asked him to stay, he'd stay. Even if you had a permanent scowl on your face and didn't offer any conversation.
“Spencer!” You groaned, fighting the urge to stomp your foot like a child. “Why do you keep putting your wet towel on top of mine? There's another hook behind the door and every time I go to use my towel, it's wet!” You brought the towel out to Spencer and threw it onto the couch. Before he could finish his apology, you were continuing, “It just drives me crazy, honey. It makes me cold getting out of the shower and-”
“If you hate having me around so much, then why am I even here?” Spencer cut you off, raising his voice in a way you'd never heard directed at you before. Anyone who didn't know Spencer well would see his words as anger, but you knew Spencer well and you could feel the hurt and insecurity seeping out through his voice.
You both froze, staring at each other in silence while you replayed his words in your head. After a beat, your shoulders sagged and you moved to sit on the opposite end of the couch from him. “Shit,” you sighed and grabbed the towel to start folding it, “I'm being mean, I'm sorry. I do want you here,” you promised and looked over to find Spencer staring at his lap.
“It's fine if you don't, just… tell me that. I don't want to keep pissing you off and making things worse,” his voice was calmer now and your heart ached. Spencer, the light of your life, felt unappreciated and unloved, because of you.
You reached out to take both of Spencer’s hands into your own and gave them a squeeze. “Hey, I want you here. I love you,” you emphasized, “having you here helps and I'm sorry I haven't been showing it. This week was just… you know how it was. And my parents just get under my skin, but I shouldn't have taken that out on you. I'm sorry, sweetheart.” Spencer couldn't hold any anger towards you if he tried and the thought made you want to cry. Your Spencer, that you were cold and bitter to, still held your hands tightly and pulled you to his chest after your apology.
“I'm sorry I put my wet towel on top of yours. I know you like having a warm towel after your shower,” he said softly and kissed the top of your head, “and I'm sorry I raised my voice at you.”
You sniffled and shook your head against Spencer’s chest. “No, don't apologize for that. You should've raised your voice at me sooner, I was being a brat,” your voice was muffled by Spencer’s shirt but he took every word in, rubbing your back as you spoke.
After you'd both calmed down, Spencer took you to bed where you both slept a solid three hours. You woke up feeling lighter than you had all week and Spencer felt relieved to have you back to your usual self. “There you are, my beautiful love,” he whispered and brushed your hair from your face.
“You're one of a kind, Spence. Let's not overdo ourselves like that anymore. Next weekend, we’re taking both days off and we’re not seeing anyone but each other,” you promised and rolled over until you were straddling Spencer’s hips. His thumbs traced shapes into your hips and he agreed eagerly by pulling you down into a kiss.
#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#gn reader#no use of y/n#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid angst#x reader#hurt/comfort#bau reader#spencer reid x bau!reader
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