#and people giving you $6 isnt going to fix it

[boyfriendunsolved]

the new video was greatly needed if watcher had any hopes of staying afloat. unfortunately, this backpedaling does not change the fact that

1) high production "television quality" content is what they want to make

2) this content is evidently not what people want to watch (even post-apology i'm seeing a lot of people saying they liked bfu better than anything watcher has produced)

again, if they have a clear vision of what they want to make, that's great. but unless there's a market for that content, then it's not going to turn a profit, or break even for that matter. yes, artists deserve to be paid for their work, but art is always bought by people who want and have an interest in said art.

im an artist pursuing my dreams too, but i don't expect people to buy my niche paintings just on the principle that i am an artist creating what i want. if i wanted to make money from this and turn it into a business, i would take commissions and specifically create what other people want. that is what having any kind of artistic job is about, unfortunately.

it's great if what you want to create and what people want to see overlap, but that's not always the case. and i really fear this is the case with watcher and they won't pivot enough to fix any of their problems

[iced-cofi]

Another Crabs Treasure is very well my favorite souls like, and also one of my favorite games now. I would highly recommend it to anyone, even people who might be intimidated by hard games, due to its already tolerable difficulty, and plethora of accessibility options.

This post will go a bit more into my review, so read if you want honest thoughts, but there will be spoilers mentioned, so here's a quick spoiler free one!

It somehow matches being very fair and challenging, with good balance, along side the ability to get absolutely busted late game if you are willing to explore and experiment. On top of being wildly fun (or fin, if you enjoy fish puns, of which this game has many), it also has an incredibly funny, touching, and important story about the damage capitalism can do to both society and the planet, and constantly reminds the player that it's important to act. And it's contextualized in an incredible story, with an endearing main character, and a phenomenal ensemble cast that is always evolving and adding to the amazing story. I would give it an earnest 9.5/10.

Now to the spoiler part, so if you don't want spoilers, don't read below this image.

Ok first off, holy shit every boss in this game is so cool, and constantly shining with creativity and flair.

The bosses use every day trash as weapons, armor, buildings and more. It's amazing, and incredible unique and cool from an art design perspective, while showing a whimsical yet harrowing pseudo reality of the pollution in our ocean.

My particular favorites from a art design perspective are Roland and Heikea, with the former being an isopod dressed in a tall shoe collar as a vest, using 6 Allen Wrenches as weapons, while occasionally rolling up into a ball, to bounce around the literal pinball machine arena, and the latter being a samurai crab, who uses toothpicks and fake grass (the ones in sushi packs and stuff like that) as a loincloth, and uses a set of chopsticks, which he later breaks in too and dual wields, as a katana.

I also think this game has this ability to be... Beautifully melancholy. And also just... Beautiful. Like look at this shit, it's gorgeous.

This beauty is carried in its story, and while it is a relatively grim story, with death and betrayal, and a real sense of existential dread, it is also an incredibly funny, whimsical journey, that perfectly balances these two dissonant tones perfectly.

Like, for the penultimate boss, you are fighting Praya Dubia, what is basically a god of the ocean, and an accumulation of all the souls lost to the Gunk, the rot of this world caused by pollution and trash. Praya feels this wrath at the way the ocean is being ravenged, and the people who can fix it don't do anything to help, and the people who can't just sit idly and take advantage of the destruction instead of trying to fix it, and so she uses this rage to take over the mind and body of Chitan, one of Kril's (the hermit crab you play as) best and most reliable allies, to slay the creatures of the land, and cure the world of its infection using the Perfect Whorl, a shell that turns it's wearer into basically a god. (Praya needs Chitan's body cause she can't use the shell without, and her godly ability isnt nearly as powerful as the shell.)

You battle this collection of every enraged soul, which wails and curses the Gunk and all those who allowed it to fester (especially Kril) as Chitan begs Kril to free her from Praya, who, after Chitan is freed, begins to use all of her power to kill Kril, in one last push, which kills her. It's intense, and emotional, and beautiful.

And after that amazing battle, the final boss... Is a crypto bro, bootlicking, greedy prick voiced by Michael Reeves. It's a fun twist, and it's honestly funny as hell.

And also, hard. It doesn't hold back. Firth is quick, strong, and uses all the abilities you've gained throughout the story against you. It's awesome, as all the bosses are.

I love this game, and I really recommend it. It maintains a funny yet foreboding atmosphere and story, while having amazingly fun yet challenging gameplay that constantly evolves, and rewards experimentation. Oh and I forgot to mention this, but the music goes absolutely fucking wild. Like wicked shit.

9.5/10, like i said. One of my new favorites. It's only 30 bucks, and you get more than a ton of 60-70 doller triple A games would give you. And not only would you be supporting a talented, inclusive, funny indie team, you'd get an amazing experience out of it.

Pick it up if you want!

[wildglitch]

Thing my Gen Z "Bart Allen" has said to keep himself from not being born

1: "I'M YOUR FUTURE GRANDSON" 2/10, really what the hell where you thinking dude.

In the end it helped him out in the long run, in a weird twisted way. Now his uncle is his dad, his dad is his cousin, and his grandpa is still his grand pa, yeah, totally not confusing. No sirey!

2: "My name is Bart Allen" 7/10, good job not giving them your real name

He was going to, but then he realized how stupid it would be. Grandpa still hasent adopted dad yet, so that would be telling a lot if he tell the Flash hes hia grandson while also telling him his last name was West. He just wishes he wasnt watching the Simpsons before he got into this mess, maybe then he would have picked out a better name then "Bart"

3: "No worries, Im from the 30th century" 5/10, Lots to worry about my guy, actually, a bunch to worry about now that he thinks about it.

"Bart", once again, panicked and sputted out the first thing that came to mind as a way to throw them of his trail. But seriously? The 30th century? You're suppose to be his grandson, not decendent! Get your stories straight before you cece to exciste!

4: "thats so crash dude!" 3/10, he will never forgive himself for that

Ok but it wasnt like he could use that actual slang from his time, if he did they would probably catch on seeing as a lot of ot was used before he was born, and he's, Aperantlly! From the 30th century! Thats a lot of verbal censuring but he makes do.

5: "The future is terrible so I was sent back to fix it" 4/10, while yes covid sucks, that isnt a valid excuse!

Now what is he going to do when not danger shows up!? He could just say he got the dates mixed up right? And they'll send him to them? But knowing them, theres no way in hell he will be sent alone. At least half of the leauge would want to go with him to stop the fake danger! Also whats with the aliens on the news?

6: "My parents are dead" 8/10, more like my moms a deadbeat and my dads going to make sure Im dead when he gets back.

It was a smart move, really it was. Give them the little orphan Annie treatment to get them to pitty him and so he can get home, but it accidentally worked to well, cause now that his future is "saved" they think his home is gone and dont want him to go. News flash people, Its past covid curfuew and he needs to be home yesterday!

7: "I'll never be able to travel to time time again, so its been crash." 1/10, Ahahahahahah... Ahahahahahhahah!

Oh he wishes that was the only time he time traveled, he wishes! But aperantly time travel is his specialty, and he cant escape fate. He just hopes he dosent end up preventing himself from being born

[ghostboyhood]

TELL ME YOUR COMMUNITY THOUGHTS

oh lord okay.. im gonna give my thoughts on the last season ish because i just finished it so its what i mainly remember and its 1 am..

the anniejeff made me SO uncomfortable i dont understand why they kept pushing that when they also pushed the dad-daughter relationship throughout the show.... and the second to last episode being centered around incest was odd, not a huge fan of that..

now okay my MAIN thoughts are about abed, so here i go

i feel like in the last two seasons (maybe 4 too? i dont remember atm) abeds autistic" traits were completely stripped from him. yes they included all his "fourth wall breaking meta tv show lines" but it wasnt right.

and i understand people will eventually change/grown up but also.. you cant "fix" autistic traits so it just felt like they were trying to make his autism seem more "normal" also by making him more emotionless i realized? abed cant express himself well, which he mainly copes with by dissociating. but he just.. in the last seasons it seemed more like he DIDNT have emotions (i believe he says something like this to buzz when talking about his duck comics, along the lines of the emotions he cant feel or wtv) but this isnt right, abed is emotional, hes actually really emotional we just dont see it directly like we do with people like annie or troy..

speaking of emotions im glad they really explained that jeff was scared of change and everyone leaving at the end though, its always been known that he is, but i liked that they really Showed it

annies ending was nice i guess? she was basically just a prop for jeff though in the weird fucking fantasy he wants though??? again idk why theyre pushing that it felt so out of place and weird and ew. jeff was also uncomfortably violent in season 6, like i dont think he would ever choke abed out that made me feel so gross...

alright back to abed because hes the main one i noticed in the last seasons.

in the end where abed was talking to jeff in the bar and said like.. "ik ur comforted by this meta lens but this is reality!!" just felt wrong.. yeah abed was still meta w the whole tv show thing but that was it.. and then him saying that to jeff? its like they tried to make him this big mentor guy to jeff (idk if thats necessarily it but its all i can think of to describe it at the moment) but not in a friend way but an uncomfortable "im grown up now and ur not" way if that makes sense,, which again goes with stripping him of his autistic traits by making it seem like its completely necessary to Grow up in order to move forward in life which isnt.. its true in some ways but not in the way they portrayed it at all.. they make it seem like abed had to grow up completely in order for him to "be okay"..

i related a LOT to abed in the early seasons for Many reasons, i think they handled the abed centered episodes especially about his mental health EXTREMELY Well. (ie, abeds uncontrollable christmas) its one of the first times ive seen experiences like that in media that i can almost directly relate to yk? but after geothermal escapism its all gone, never mentioned again besides in call backs where they try to laugh it off/dismiss it..

oh my god and abeds 'girlfriend' was just sooo out of place she was mentioned like twice and then that was it.. they didnt need to do that it felt really forced

also in like season one abed sits in that fucking room for hoursss without so much as making a peep but then he looses his cool and yells at buzz in season five?? again troy just left which makes a big impact but its still smt i noticed

everyone just felt very bland in the last seasons after troy left at least… half the cast was gone, then replaced

idk im not like, ruined the show pissed at the end, but im also not a fan of s5/6 (besides like.. sum scenes, and like i mentioned earlier maybe s4 as well)

i have to binge tv shows so i dont always immediately retain all the information and i have to rewatch episodes a lot, but thats my thoughts immediately after finishing the show at 12 am, sleep deprived, and in a really bad mental health episode so theyre not well put together n shit and i wish i could remember more to go over but alas

theres my immediate thoughts,, im gonna probably sleep or restart community.. i was planning on starting interview with the vampire now but im thinking of starting black mirror so we'll see...

[dreamychuu]

Hokuto as childhood friends rambles...

Warning/info = gn!reader, hokuto is in love, fluff, pet names, some comfort, mention of being bullied, mention of arranged marriage.

A/n : i was suppose doing request but this thing have been appearing in my brain every second.

-

Rambles undercut

1. okay okay i think since you guys know each other since a kid there is a bigger chance that its beacuse of the both of your parents

2. You're very close with his grandma too! you guys spend times playing in his grandma house most of the time and maybe help her cooking (you guys ended up messing up the kitchen but his grandma just chukles)

3. Hokuto always call people with their surname but maybe since you guys know each other since you guys were a kid there is this habits to calls each others by a cute nickname that the lil kids you made.

Some hokuto nickname i made : oku-kun/chan, kuu-chan, kutoo-chan/kun, etc

4. But for the sake of his Reputaion he always calls you by your surname when there is other people who isnt both of your family.

(He once accidently calls you by a cute nickname in front of trickstars, at first he doesnt notice until subaru start questioning it while jumping in curiousty)

Basically all of them start suspecting hokuto and you were dating since the both of you keep secret nickname's for each others (the one who make the theory was makoto)

5. If you're being bullied , he will always try to comfort you, he's not good with words so all he can do is do something to comfort you.

Comfort Scenario : he hurriedly enter your room and saw you crying while sitting on the floor leaning against your bed with folded legs as you cover your face on your kness. He then took the blanket from your bed and sat next to you on the floor, covering the both of you with the blanket.

Noticing Hokuto presence , you start to cried harder and jump into his arm hugging him. he hugged you back with his hand on your back pushing you closer to him and his other hand behind your Head bringing your face in front of his chest as he give you a comfort kiss your forehead.

6. There is this one time when his & yours parents jokingly said that they might arranged married the both of you, when he heard this he was blushing but try to keep his composoure (he imagine about the both of you get married not in the creppy way)

7. Despite being in busy with each others life you guys at least can be seen going everywhere together at least once a week.

8. Whenever the both of you travel together you two always hold hands , beacuse of that you always bring a gloves so you wont feel much cold while holding his hands.

9. just like sillies little kids maybe you guys made like the classic "lets get married when we got older" Promise. (You forgot about it while he always remembers it)

10. You always do acting Together but since you got older you guys stopped doing it together but you still watch his performance (he appreciate it alot)

11. He such an hopeless romantic and when he do try to flirt or make a move on you, you always see it as a friendly joke since the both of you always do that as a kid.

12. Aoi twins found out about his crush and gave him a flirt lesson (it doesnt work)

13. He confess to you when the both of you was going home together. As you both decided to visit his grandma house by walking.

the two of you walked together until you suddenly stopped and looked towards the beautiful river that was in front of the bridge divider.

your eyes look towards the beautiful river while his eyes are glued to your figure , you look so "beautiful under the sky that evening", he said to himself

"[name]", he called out

with you turning to face fixed towards him your eyes meet each other.

"I love you," he said directly without hesitation with his gentle expression.

your eyes widened in surprise with a sudden confession from him you looked down he was confused and tried to melt the atmosphere by saying if you don't love him back it's okay.

You laughed hearing him sounds a bit sad and answered his confession with "I love you too, always been..."

[yv-sketches]

@internetbanality I’m not sure if this helps because I suck at explaining things, but here’s my bookbinding progress.

Everything is under a read more because it's a loooong post.

1. Big pile of paper.

2. Fold all of them into the sets of 4 like formatted.

3. I check every page with AO3 to make sure no lines are missing and there are no weird markings on the pages. (Like the weird stripe on the left)

1. Press for one day. (My book press is just two pieces of wood with holes drilled through them) If you have less than 10 sets you don't really need a press, a heavy book is enough weight.

2. I prick holes into each set of 4. First I lay the pages on two books so the pin will go between the spines of the books instead of in the table. My paper is A4 sized (21 cm) so I prick at 1.5 / 5 / 8 / 10.5 / 13 / 16 / 19.5 cm.

3. Thread the needle with about 70cm of thread. I tie a double knot just to be sure

1. To start sewing, I zigzag through the first set of 4 pages

2. Zigzag back

3. Fix the thread together by pulling the needle through the knot and add the second set on top of this one. Make sure it's the correct way up and the page numbers make sense.

1. When sewing the second set, loop the needle through the zigzagged thread of first set

2. Go back through the same hole and repeat until the end of set 2.

3. For every next set, loop the needle through the thread of the set before it. Do not put it through the first set.

1. Heres a better picture of where the needle should go. A curved needle helps. There are curved bookbinding needles but if you apply some violence to a regular needle it works too.

2. Continue as adding sets until you’ve sewn together everything. These are 10 sets together (40 papers. 160 book pages. About 30k worth of fic) Don’t be me and do a 100k fic as first attempt.

3. If you’re out of thread, cut it off and start with a new 70 cm. Tie the two leftover threads through the new knot so the two threads are connected

1. Endpapers are just slightly sturdy coloured papers, folded just like the pages

2. Put glue on part of the last page (like 3-5 cm)

3. Add the endpaper as if it were another page, on both sides

1. Put it back in the press (or under the heavy book). Make sure the edges are as ‘straight’ as possible so they’re actually getting flattened and not folding into each other.

2. Add glue to the pressed edge. Again, this isn't necessary of you have only a few sets because it won't weigh enough to cause trouble when reading.

3. I like to glue a piece of paper to the edges so they have something to stick to. Leave it for 3 days, just to be sure.

1. For the cover, I had this sheet special printed to measure. (I feel like there’s a whole tutorial necessary for the digital parts so I’m skipping that for now) Next to it are a finished cover and the pressed book.

2. I glue cardboard into the exact place and cut the little flaps so they can fold around it.

3. After the first cover, I fold the binding into the sheet to find out where the other cover should be

1. The cover fully wrapped around the cardboard

2. Glue the endpapers into the cover. In this picture only one side is done. If you open the cover, you’ll see the endpaper as first ‘page’

3. Apply pressure so the glue will set correctly. I recommend putting it in the press but the press is occupied atm

The result: A book (?)

(@applesandbannas747 the one on the right is yours when it's dry. The stuff that went wrong isnt super visible from the outside)

I made a sample file here. It's a .pdf consisting of 6 sets, ready to print and sew. Kinda like those sneak peek samples people give away sometimes? I added a cover and back so the last 9 steps with the endpapers and cardboard aren't necessary.

[petertingle-yipyip]

POOKIE now that the album has been out for a while what are your fav songs????

me personnally i cant pick they all already mean sm to me😭😭

once i saw it was a DOUBLE ALBUM i decided to wait till i had enough time to listen in full so i will listen right now and pull a you and give live ratings! (skip to the bottom for an overall feeling)

fortnight 8/10 - this is so ex coded holy “i love you and it’s ruining my life” literally of her relationships at some point, wow. i will say that post is an interesting collab for this type of song but i don’t hate it

the tortured poets department 6/10 - i liked the bridge (i think that’s what it is) the best. lyrically it’s good but not my fave and saying that ab the title track i hope doesn’t get me yelled at by anyone

my boy only breaks his favorite toys 9/10 - i claimed this one from the tracklist so i knew i was gonna like it. the best she stays with as she sings the title is perfect for an edit

down bad 7.5/10 - i didn’t expect her to come out cussing at me, okay ms swift. not a skip but not a daily listen either. crying at the gym is relatable though

so long, london 8/10 - i used this as a fic title lol but the cadence really shows how angry/tired she was by the time they split. the lyrics here are so powerful too. her imagery is always so beautiful

but daddy i love him 6/10 - idk why but this just doesn’t resonate with me the way i thought it would. still good though but i wouldn’t save it turn it on from my own phone

fresh out the slammer 9/10- having that one person who is your immediate thought, the driving force behind you, your everything is all i want and that yearning keeps me up at night

florida!! 4/10- nothing about this song drew me in 🫣

guilty as sin? 8/10 - “i choose you and me religiously” so matt murdock coded

who’s afraid of little old me? 10/10 - SO ex coded and rep coded “i was gentle, i was tame till the circus life made me mean” or “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” TELL ME THAT ISNT OUR GIRL EXODUS

i can fix him (no really i can) 6.5/10 - me with every fictional man i come across the “ woah, maybe i can’t” at the end is crazy, basically agreeing that he was such a mess but i was hoping to like this one a little more

loml 9/10- joe put her through it, holy shit

i can do it with a broken heart 10/10 - immediately can tell she was writing about herself performing from another perspective and i love the juxtaposition of a pop-dance type beat with these tougher lyrics “i cry a lot but im so productive” is literally me

the smallest man who ever lived 7.8/10 - the title feels like the inverse of the “loudest woman this town has ever seen” lyric and to me, it really highlights got she was always this icon whereas he was always ducking and dodging and not willing to live in that spotlight with her

the alchemy 5/10 - i feel like the message of this song went right over my head

clara bow 6/10 - it’s a cute song that (i think) documents the growth of her career and maybe the comparisons/comments she gotten as she’s worked and how people compare new stars to her

the black dog 5/10- it doesn’t really resonate with me

imgonnagetyouback 8.5/10 - is this the one some people are saying is similar to get him back! by liv? bc the only similarity i hear is the concept of not knowing if you’re gonna rekindle or beat the shit out of your ex

the albatross 8.5/10 - it’s like she knows exodus and elektra. “she is here to destroy you” but i think this is another way of her reclaiming her image/reputation through acknowledging and challenging what men/media say about her

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus 8.8/10 - honestly idk what ab this song but it’s so beautiful. i can’t explain it but its like a ballroom dance

how did it end? 9/10 - this song gives the vibes of a movie scene where two people are on swings at the night and then suddenly, one swing is empty (but still going) and the other person is just teetering on their toes

so high school 5/10 - gives me early ts vibes and it’s cute but not really me

i hate it here 7/10- not my favorite but i do like the beat

thanK you aIMee 6/10 - this is directed at KIM or am i tripping? also the guitar reminds me of debut era for some reason

i look in peoples windows 7.5/10 - this song is yearning, wanting to see that person just one more time and its me wondering if i’ll see my ex again, just to know what’d happen if he saw me again after everything he’s said to me

the prophecy 9/10 - i really love the chorus

cassandra 5/10 - didn’t really stick out to me and became background noise 🫣

peter 7.8/10 - its really cute and ik it’s probably more of a peter pan reference but the editors need to get on it and do peter x mj

the bolter 8.7/10 - i was not reviled by anyone except my own father so (we’re better now though) but i do run from intimacy

robin 6/10 - slow, sweet, cute little song

the manuscript 9/10- instantly loved it (forgot what else i wanted to say here)

overall, is a lyrically beautiful album. there’s so much emotion in the music and her delivery. her imagery is so beautiful as always. personally, i won’t say i love it but it is so so impactful. releasing 31 songs in one project is unheard of so i tip my hat to her ability to tell these stories with such grace and eloquence through such a marathon of an album. i like that you can hear bits of her previous albums in some of the songs and it is a very mature project imo. you can tell how much this meant to her and how much of herself she’s poured out. its an overall ~7.8/10 for me but i would recommend everyone to give it a listen

[jennrypan]

mIraculous ladybug is the show where the writer doesn't know how to write teenager as teenager and what would you change on mlb if you have the power to do that

Ohhh boy. Welp- this will be LONG.

1: Id make it in 2D, cuz one..the expressions and behaviors do NOT translate well with this animation and also..I think itd be cooler.

2: Give Marinette new outfits!!! Shes an inspiring fashion designer cmon!! Have her make stuff for herself and friends (and get an actual person that knows about fashion to give pointers)

3: Let Marinette actually..do hobbies with her friends that isnt about Adrien or Ladybug like..show her have a life outside of just that?? Show the audience who she is so we can love her more (and itll add more angst to how much she has to set back for Ladybug)

4: Adrien shares that actual plot and we see more of his home life and how it differed from Marinettes (Like Marinettes life is full of life and colors and Adriens is dull with little to no emotions allowed)

5: Marinette would maybe still give Chloe the shit advice for her mom thinking shes helping but instead of it being seen as a good thing it shows that Marinette cant fix everything especially things like this cus she doesnt get it (and itll make her look at people and her life in a diff light cuz she realizes..she has loving parents and most people dont, which leads to her looking at Gabriel with a side eye even more and regretting what she told Chloe)

6: Use Lila more and hint at how collective she is, make her use better lies and show her actually doing stuff shes lied about and hanging out with the class so it actually makes sense why they truly dont see her as evil (i also..wouldnt make her some evil mastermind , shes just petty and annoying, desperately wanting to be cool and loved by her peers) whether she gets redeemed or not depends

7: Show Adrien and Nino hanging out!! Let him have friends outside of Marinette and Ladybug!!

8: Marinette wouldnt give literally everyone in her class a miraculous..its so lame. Instead like Master Fu..she gives it to people she sees doing good things but not before discussing it with Chat Noir (Alya, Nino and Chloe will still get it and eventually Chloe would suggest Sabrina with Adrien or Marinette suggesting Kagami etc)

9: Give Luka more..personality than musical simp. AND EYELASHES OR EYELINER CUZ FUCK HE LOOKS LIKE THIS 👁👄👁!!!

10: Dont reveal who Hawkmoth is until the middle of season three, like in season 1 its a complete mystery and his motives are unknown, show Gabriel actually doing his job (he goes out and wears actual nice clothes instead of just..white and red..) So no one even suspects hes the villain, hes just doing his job..he just looks too busy for Adrien

Basically..fix the animation, fix how the emotions are handled..give the characters more depths and interaction so we can care a lot more about their motivations ?

I just wanna see these guys do..actual hobbies instead of just going to school..playing video games and thats it?? None of the other kids seem to have..lives outside of each other

Also..give the girls better outfits :/ its all kinda lame ngl. So thats just the jist, I dont want this to be too long cuz I got a LOT id change for this show ngl

[forestryfae]

man it is SO nice to find a solution to a really shit problem only for 50 other problems to happen

i am completely alone with zero support in a house i hate, doing as much housework as possible so it can be manageable both in day to day life and so its not hard to just leave when i move, and i still am not getting any help getting rid of the stuff.

i have almost no money and i have to pay to take the train to buy food or neccessities and i was dumb enough to not send a letter sooner so i dont know if ill get my money until after christmas or not, i havent bought more than one christmas gift either cus im fucking broke, and i dont feel anywhere in my body that i want to spend time making something for anyone. my brother still isnt done paying me my money back and literally hasnt talked to me since last time he asked for money, my dad hasnt fucking talked to me in ages and the one time he called in summer it was out of boredom to ask when i was gonna visit them, none of my extended relatives talk to me at all so what the fuck is the point there, and my mom is just. a fucking bitch.

i had her removed as a legal guardian, not even on purpose initially but because folkenemnda or whoever sent her a letter before i was able to have a meeting, so she ofc got fucking offended and now has decided sve cant be involved in anything. she cant call electricians, she cant help fix the house, its "too difficult" for her to have to talk to me or my new legal guardian instead of just buying stuff right away, and she told ME to get a new phone service provider. i had to fix that myself. on top of her being, once again, a useless bitch. dont touch my stuff i say, its fucking embarrassing that you have dirty laundry she implies while moving all my furniture around and doing shit to my kitchen while refusing to acknowledge its my house but still treating it like her own, and not fixing the internet again after they unplugged it.

so i have no access to internet besides my last 150 mb of phone data unless i call some guy to fix it, but they wont be here until next year most likely so its pretty much pointless, and if i buy phone data i have to pay. so if i cant get it fixed ill be literally alone for two weeks straight with no people at all around me and noone i can talk to on the internet. except for fucking. christmas. idk about new years eve. and i dont even fucking like my family, i dont even want to spend time with them, they treat me like shit.

the ac doesnt work since mom got the electricians to look at everything but never actually hired anyone to fix shit and now is completely uncooperative. and after they checked the fireplace in that control like two years ago im not allowed to use it, and mom never actually got that fixed either even though shes been in charge of absolutely everything since forever.

plus both heaters downstairs are set to 27c or max and it still is only like 17 or 19 or so, i have an entire room in the house i straight up cant use cus theres no power and no light and 17c in there and its full of stuff i asked mom to take to the thrift store for me 6 months ago. also i cant leave either heater on if im boiling water or washing dishes cus that overloads the entire fucking thing.

and its just like so much bullshit all at once and ive been spacing out for like 2 hours while writing this cus i get so frustrated and upset and angry and sad. its not fucking fair that my parents literally dont care about me, yet im expected to be fucking sociable and call and visit them and reach out. they didnt reach out to me or support me at all when i was a kid, or a teenager, or an adult, why the fuck would i want to deal with them. but if i dont go to visit them on christmas or i point out that hey. youre not really being fair or nice to me at all, hell breaks loose cus i should be more than happy with the crumbs they give me, as if theyre the best people in the world for fucking. calling once every six months or letting me celebrate a holiday with them.

like. im stuck here for 2 weeks, im broke as shit, no connection to the outside world once i use all my data, i very much am still mentally ill even if im better than before i went inpatient. but once i go back ill have to go back to work and i dont have a psychiatrist to talk to and im not on any meds i think i might need and i havent been tested for anything yet, i havent been had driving practice yet, i can barely talk to my support contact, i need a lot more help than i am being given, im not getting the help i ask for when i do ask for it, and thats on top of shit parents and a shit house and two cats i love but am not sure i can keep given the whole thing where im gone for months at a time. and i just. how the fuck am i supposed to be able to keep a job or ever move out or make friends properly or keep a new apartment or house or be mentally stable. its so much bullshit all at once wtf

[freebooter4ever]

how's the job hunt going? would you ever relocate for a job love?

Oh wow what a question lol! Honestly i dont expect to be able to find anything new till this strike is over, the competition is insane right now. In the meantime my plan is to teach myself faster hard surface sculpting in z*brush using hockey gear \o/ mostly because i dont want to pay the $150 a month for maya, that shits insane. Like a fucking health insurance payment.

For the second question - i dont think i've ever experienced love like that. I think it would take a lot of devotion and sacrifice to give up your dreams for someone else. Admirable, for sure. And also a sacrifice that historically women are the ones expected to make. Every time. :( For a job? Lol, i would move in a heartbeat. I stayed in pittsburgh 6 years after college for my dream job - i only left when i lost it. Knew the next dream job wasnt going to be there, so made my way to LA. And now im having to come to terms with the idea that the dream job doesnt exist as i imagined it - or only exists for a very VERY select few.

And actually, thats not totally true about me and love. I think if i thought for one second that nick could love me back like i diid him, id already be in new england. When i applied to this one job, that sounded like a dream come true it listed the salary, and brian and i just read it and gaped. We looked at each other and i was like i dont even know what the fuck i would DO with all that. And of course the first thing that popped into my mind was i could buy that sailboat nick always talked about. When i was writing my programming textbook a decade ago, and really going through it, and nick and i were up until 3 or 4am every night painting theater sets, he'd talk about his sailing adventures, teach me rope knots, that sort of thing, basically a mental escape. And so last week i texted him like 'hey no promises but what if im suddenly actually making good money. Do you still want that boat?' Because, nick's worked so long and so hard and all he's gotten to is the point of still working on boats other people own, and its just not fair how devalued physical labor is, you know? And his immediate reaction was to launch into our very old daydream - the whole 'yes and you're coming with me, sail off into the sunset' stuff. And that hadnt occured to me - my idea was just- id give him the boat, and he'd fix it up, and id maybe demand photos or a visit or two every so often. Because i think finally -finally- im at a point in my life where being in love isnt enough - i want the other person to love me back. And lol definitely not someone who declares love one minute and then stops talking to me for weeks or months, and the cycle repeats over and over. I think its possible to love someone enough that you recognize you arent the one for them, but still want them to be happy? Happier than you could make them.

So long answer is yes, i would relocate for love, but i have learned the hard way to know when i shouldn't.

[birthday-of-music]

1-12 FOR THE WRITING ASKS !!! hi :3333

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

uhm. i uh. write on the notes app. sometimes on word though and i just use calibri bc default

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

GOD NO I COULD NOT.. fun fact i never fixed my bad pencil grip when i was really young so i hold pens weird as shit and it hurts after a little while. english exam had me dying every five minutes shaking my wrist out and that was only like 600-700 words i think

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

another fun story i used to write about a hundred words every night on my old ipod that i kept in my room before sleeping. said ipod was kind of halfway to exploding. like uh. that one “pillow” post with the dangerous battery. iwdont do that anymore though and i threw out the ipod everything is fine

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

I DONT KNOW UM. in general i have a notebook full of pretty words (ethereal, golden, eternity, that kind of like. overly fancy and poetic shit)

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

uh. i dont think so im kind of basic

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

i guess that when i post something people will hate it? like. outright hate it and say its bad and stuff?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

i suppose the opposite of the above but also sometimes ill look back at my writing from a year ago that isnt like. in my mind anymore and ill be able to read it and enjoy it as not something i wrote? bc ill forget i wrote it and then i get to enjoy stuff that is extremely catered to me lmao

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

oh dialogue definitely theres something kind of fun about writing stuff without dialogue idk what it just. is.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

uh. nope not really

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

UM. same as you all the bright places. also the fault in our stars. very clear what types of books i like isnt it. also this fic which is saying a lot because i dont care about genshin anymore but every time i think about it it hurts.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

uh. i like hurting my faves but only if there is comfort otherwise i die inside. every time i write hurt no comfort i lose a bit more of my sanity

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

i always wish for more wishes but lorem ipsum i could never… three wishes uh. one that every time i write a character i can characterise them right. two that when i proofread i never miss any typos. and three um.. the ability to have continuous motivation to write a multichaptered fic

[tacom-literatureu-blog]

im so genuinely curious cos im not a writer: how many comments is like, a lot? id think like, 5-10 is a lot, isnt it? or is that average?

It really depends on the writer, size of their audience, how much work they put in, comments on previous works, etc.

5-10 might seem like a lot to someone who isn't a writer. But the thing about commenting is it is literally so easy, and the only way we get to know what people are thinking. Like real life applause. Imagine doing a performance for a crowd of over 100 people, and 5-10 clap.

On average, I get 13-16 comments a chapter. But in the past I've had chapters with over 25 comments. The most comments I've ever gotten is in the 30's. So I know I have the audience. When I get 5-10 comments on a chapter, it makes me feel like I did something wrong. Like my writing isn't as good.

Even if its just a '<3' every and any comment is a good comment. I have a reader who just says 'bonus kudos' every chapter. I get just keysmashes sometimes. I'm not asking for a book report, any comment just let's me know my audience wants more.

Plus, how much work I put in. I'm doing, on average, 12-20 pages a night, 6 days a week, and have been since December 9th 2021. I've only recently started allowing myself nights off and wiggle room with upload times. I'm technically doing the work off two people. Is it really too much to ask to comment? I don't think so.

Ao3 doesn't have likes or reblogs. We have kudos, which are nice. But comments are essentially how we know our audience gives two shits. I had a fic before the TACOMLU. It lasted 3 chapters, because nobody commented.

The 4 comments I got on the first chapter of Our Last Summer gave me the motivation to keep going. To turn one fix it fic into a nearly 7 book series. To meet amazing friends. To meet my co-writer, Chambers, whose one of my best friends in the world.

I dunno where I'd be without Ash, Moonlight, Fish, Helleborus, p1nk, Citrus, Ella, etc. Helleborus, p1nk, and Ash even now have cameos in the TACOMLU as npcs! I worry when I don't see them in my comments. Like worrying about a classmate whose out sick.

The tldr is; comment. Comment. Comment. We appreciate it if you comment once, but if you comment every chapter, we love you, and you hold a special place in our hearts. - Patton

[currently-0bsessed]

Sooooo… miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir got its season 5 finale 👏…. I have so SO SO many problems with it. Honestly it was one of the worst things I have ever watched.

//////THIS PROBLEM LIST WILL CONTAIN MEGAkuma SPOILERS//////

1. Starting from the beginning of conformation. Adrien and Kagami are still stuck. Dearest GABY decides to initiate his spooky secret plan that he has been apparently cooking up. This plan is a big problem because the only thing that the viewers knew about this plan was about making Adrien and Kagami a couple. So, this is OUT OF NOWHERE.

2. Ok, dreams. Cool, nice, awesome. THAT COME OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!!!!! Another problem with the dreams is that Adrien dreams of Chat Blanc which he should NOT KNOW OF. Those timelines were destroyed by ladybug??? Without Adrien knowing either!

3. Adrien did not even try to escape…. Plagg suggested ways and nothing… He just gave the ring back. Which was just an excuse for him not to be in the big fight.

Time for Marinette’s POV. She wakes up and runs to go “save” Adrien. Great. Weird but great. Things happen and she becomes Ladybug to find Natalie because “Adrien said she was always nice to him” Natalie is about to freaking die and attempts to kill gabby to free Adrien. Thank you queen. But it fails like always because gabby is scum. Marinette is conveniently in Natalie’s room and watches as gabby de-transforms.

4. HOW CONVENIENT! Anyway it doesn’t matter because this show is built on conveniences. She now knows HM is gabby. SHE SHOULD TELL SOMEBODY!?!?!? RUN MAYBE AND TELL THE WORLD?!?!?!? THEY STILL BELIEVE YOU AT THIS POINT.

She is trapped in the Agreste mansion. Gabby’s plan is in full swing. She de-transforms and Plagg finds her and gives her the ring but then OH NO HM finds her and now knows Marinette is Ladybug.

5. GABBY YOU HAVE THE POWERS OF ALMOST EVERY SINGLE MIRACULOUS! STING HER YOU CAN GRAB HER ARM DO IT NOWWWW

Marinette transforms into bug noire god.

6. I’m going to be real I seriously thought before the finale that Tikki and Plagg couldn’t be unified because that was how the wish was granted… and I thought that because… THAT IS WHAT THEY SHOW IN THE EPISODE DEFLAGRATION WHY WOULDN’T GABBY SUMMON GIMMI INSTEAD OF TRYING TO UNIFY TIKKI AND PLAGG!?!?!???!?! I know why… BECAUSE THAT IS HOW IT WAS BEFORE!!!!!! WHY THE HELL WOULD MASTER FU NOT JUST GIVE MARINETTE BOTH TIKKI AND PLAGG IF SHE CAN JUST USE BOTH HERSELF!?!?

Next episode: Re-creation this one is a doozy

We start where we left off, God and HM are fighting now.

7. Ahm Mistake me if I’m wrong but ISNT THE FUSION OF TIKKI AND PLAGG SUPPOSED TO BE ALL POWERFUL??? SHE CAN ERASE HIM FROM EXISTENCE. But no. God is nerfed.

Gabby and Marinette know each others identity’s. Marinette breaks the floor revealing Emilie. She’s shocked and weirded out. Continuing to fight Marinette is able to corner Gabby and tosses the butterfly miraculous down the stinky poop water.

8. GABBY DOESNT USE ANY OF THE OTHER MIRACULOUSES WHEN HE IS CAUGHT. HE COULD HAVE EASILY THOUGHT TO USE SECOND CHANCE IN A TIME LIKE THIS AND NO DONT TELL ME THAT “second chance doesn’t work on ladybug” HE HAS THE KNOWLEDGE THAT SHE IS MARINETTE NOW HE SHOULD’VE SECOND CHANCED BACK TO WHEN HE STARTED HIS PLAN. BIG CONVENIENCE HUH MARINETTE!?!?

Gabby starts to break down and Marinette starts to pity him.

9. WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT MARINETTE THIS GUYS HAS KILLED PEOPLE AND IS ABUSIVE IT DOESNT MATTER IF HE IS GOING TO DIE KILL HIM!!!!!! AT LEAST TAKE THE MIRACULOUS!

She de-transforms in hopes that she will be able to fix things with his help… IT DOESN’T WORK GABBY STINGS HER AND TAKES HER MIRACULOUS. He then asks Tikki and Plagg to reveal themselves and they become ethereal beings.

10. As sick as hell the character designs for the ethereals but IT MAKES NO SENSE. THIS PLOT-LINE HAS NEVER BEEN BROUGHT UP THIS WAS MADE UP ON THE SPOT BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO MAKE MARINETTE BECOME GOD.

Tikki and Plagg kiss?? become Gimmi…

11. … bro… Gimmi. Really. You named the all powerful god of reality of what there once was, is and will be, the wish granting deity, the name Gimmi. Like “Gimmi dat” holy….

Gimmi is cute. Marinette is unfrozen to bear witness to Gabby being stupid. Also Lila is there so…. Gimmi sees into Gabby’s soul or smg and he and Emilie are hugging in the afterlife, I think.

12. What even is happening bro my brain is dead. Wtf

We come back to a beautiful world where people are more happy than the real world and the child abuser Gabby has a statue.

13. OH GOD A CHILD ABUSER HAS A STATUE AND PEOPLE THINK HE WAS A GOOD GUY!?!?! ALSO NATALIE IS HEALTHY AND EMILIE IS ALIVE WHO COULD ACTUALLY BE AMILIE AND ADRIEN DOESNT HATE HIS DAD ANYMORE.

Finally, we see Adrien and Marinette Kiss. And Lila has the butterfly miraculous and is scared of a big portal thing with electricity.

Couple simple questions…

Is this a new reality where Emilie never died and Adrien had both parents? Seems unlikely because the news anchor is telling us the statue for Gabby is being made because he stopped HM which wouldn’t be HM if Gabby had Emilie.

This is most likely a reality where Gabby wished for Natalie to be better and the Emilie we see it actually Amilie. Good, cool, awesome, I’m ok with that, sort of.

So, what was the deal with Adrien, Kagami, and Felix being Senti-monsters thing. That went absolutely nowhere in the season finale. Argos is simply allowed to be a part of the team now… okay… Everything that they have been building up really crashed into the ground. I mean that season’s Ladybug and Chat Noire we’re becoming more like team mates than Ladybug being the leader. But now Adrien doesn’t even get to know anything? Even though this is his whole life we’re talking about? Adrien gets to know nothing and Marinette is god. I was so excited for Adrien to finally see what his father is but no…

In conclusion, this finale was 3/10 would watch again. I might add more later but I doubt my brain can handle any more of this crap. 🦂

[isapolvorita]

Ok im gonna answer with my OC Giisa

1- No she doesnt, but she likes hugging the pillow sometimes.

2- Plant no. Pet yes. Child i think she can maybe look for them as a favor but i dont know if she can be a parent.

3- "Fine, but dont tell her yeah? Really, i dont want her to be uncomfortable with me. Ok, she is the most gorgeous girl i have ever seen, she is so cool and mysterious and i love when she gets grumpy but i can see her trying to not smile. She is so good with people even if she says she isnt, and she also cares so much about people, and she does it so sincerely. I think love her...OK WELL that was enough i gotta go bye"

4- Her hair is red but i have to say, no, she doesnt look good in red clothes.

5- If she is in a silly mood, she will give one about why a type of pasta is the superior type, the liberation and revolution of all the animals from zoos (she never went to one) or is she is in a more serious mood, i think something about that you can never know someone and thats ok

6-She will always take advice from Granll, the lady owner of the bar in the first floor of the apartment. She will never take advice from her boss.

7- I will say energetic, avoidant and silly. She will say skillful, active and cute (she cant think in good things to say but if she lets out the ugly things she cant stop)

8- She likes simple. She like the type of things that you can fix with a punch or a menace. Or things with clear instructions, like cooking.

9- No, i dont think so. Maybe she cares about certain things but she is more practical.

10- Things like that doesnt bother her, its pointless to think about that. (The answer is 5yo)

11-Oh she will spend it, she will buy things for her family and go to trips with Pol and Ratón and buy everything she ever wanted.

12- Yeah, she likes romance.

13- Give a good punch, after she lost a fight versus some kids (they arent bad parents)

14- Nah, she grew up in a place where that thing didnt exist.

15- Trying to make people like you. If they do, good, if they dont well, she doesnt like them either. (this doesnt apply to Pol, she will like Giisa a some point, she is sure)

16- I think the same kind of clothes but more quality, like sporty/practical things

17- Yeah, she likes playing with them and fight with them

18- Tongue?

19- Nah, she goes and trust in herself

20- Sleep in a hammock, like, at night

21- If she realize that person doesnt care about her anymore and start to ignore her. She is not going to be in a place where she knows is not welcome.

22- No and no. She likes when Grall calls her "sweetie" because she is a lovely grandma.

23- Novelty

24- i dont understand this question.

25- Possibility

26-Effort

27- The best vengance is dont let it affect you.

28- a what?

29- Its dark and she cant she, but she feels tripping over things, what are this things? Why they feel soft? Why are they so big? Why is she so scared?

30- Ask intrusive questions.

Ok! That was it.

oc asks that reveal more than you think

Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite?

Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child?

Ask them to describe their love interest.

Do they look good in red?

Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?

Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?

Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

Do complex puzzles intrigue or frustrate them?

Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)?

What age do they most want to be right now?

They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save?

Do they like romance in the books they read (or in the book they’re in)?

Name one thing their parents taught them.

Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any?

What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work?

If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear?

Do they like children?

Kissing: tongue or no tongue?

Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews?

What do they like that nobody else does?

What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?

Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to?

Stability or novelty?

Honesty or charity?

Safety or possibility?

Talent or effort?

Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?

Would they date a fixer-upper?

What recurring dreams do they have?

What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?

Support the author: all writing | book | ko-fi | Patreon

[jupiter-reimagined]

Dealer's choice for the OC ask game, but with Julius. I wanna learn more about him, please and thank you.

i have an ungodly amount of free time between classes so... heres answers to them all, in varying levels of detail. dealer's choice is "yes." bdbshs

1. Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who's the favorite?

he does not, even when he was a child, he just didnt like sleeping with them

2. Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child?

considering hes a scientist, hes exceptional at raising plant babies, as well as human children. he did somewhat raise his niece and nephews. dont give him pets tho. hes bad at that

3. Ask them to describe their love interest.

aromantic king. n/a

4. Do they look good in red?

HELL YEAH!!! but i may be biased because i think everyone looks good in red, its just a matter of syling. he does love his burgundy turtleneck

5. Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?

hes nerding out and probably would do one about a recent research paper he did. i mean... that counts so,, yeah

6. Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won't they take advice from, no matter what it is?

he would have taken any advice from his brother, if he were still alive. and he doesnt trust a single word coming from the mouth of famous people in general. no matter what. if they have fans, their word means shit to him

7. Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

my description: science loving dad

his description: not good enough. <- ow

8. Do complex puzzles intrigue or frustrate them?

he has a collection of puzzle boxes. he loves puzzles, no matter how frustrating or stupid

9. Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books...)?

he does!!!! hes lived alone for years. he was bound to get attached to his possessions.

10. What age do they most want to be right now?

n/a. hee content as he is. its natural to age and hes not too bothered by being in his 60s

11. They've won the lottery. Spend, or save?

he sets up a college fund for oliver, and gives the rest to the rest of his kids. he trusts they'll use it well

12. Do they like romance in the books they read (or in the book they're in)?

aromantic king part 2

13. Name one thing their parents taught them.

value his family. thats it. thats why hes like this.

14. Would they agree with the term 'guilty pleasure'? Do they have any?

well. he has things he likes, but he isnt guilty about them

15. What would they consider a waste of time- other than school or work?

not really, no. he believes its important to wind down every once in a while. or as he calls it, play time

16. If money wasn't a limit, what would they wear?

same crusty lab coat as always. his clothes are all like 10 years old. if it aint broke dont fix it

17. Do they like children?

he does :)

18. Kissing: tongue or no tongue?

AROMANTIC KING PART 3. jesus.

19. Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews?

nah. hes a fucking nerd, so he knew everything all of the time. and hes had the same job for like 15 years. no interviews for him anytime soon (hopefully)

20. What do they like that nobody else does?

n/a. hes not telling me anything

21. What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?

SIGH. AROMANTIC KING. PART. 4.

22. Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What's their go-to?

he calls everyone some variation of son/daughter. sometimes, everyone is sonny to him

23. Stability or novelty?

stability

24. Honesty or charity?

honesty. hes got no time for bullshit

25. Safety or possibility?

safety!!!

26. Talent or effort?

effort. he didnt get anywhere from talent

27. Forgiveness or vengeance (or...)?

forgiveness. mostly

28. Would they date a fixer-upper?

oh for FUCKS SAKE. AROMANTIC. KING. PART. FUCKING. FIVE!!!!!

29. What recurring dreams do they have?

he dreams of his brother a lot. and the kids, whenever hes away

30. What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?

probably make his own drugs

[ventsorrants]

i dont want to hurt people.

im haveing homicidle thoughts i dont want to be a monster i dont want to hurt people but sometimes i want to hurt people i have thoughts about breaking there bones killing them makeing them feel pain and i smile about it. i dont want to like that idea i just want to be normal. i wish i was normal. but thats not an option for me. mabey i should just give in? kill them? give up compleatly? find freinds that are like me? am i insane? why am i like this? can i fix it? i think ive always been crazy. ive had these thoughts since i was like 6 or 7. no normal 7 year old likes the idea of killing everyone in sight. whats wrong with me? for now i guess music can be a escape but recently ive been thinking abut me listening to music while stabbing people. i cant use music as an escape for long. im going to tell my theripist but im scared i dont want to end up in a mental hospital what would my freinds and family think if they read this? call me insane? call me crazy? just simply say you dont think that. is this what happens when i dont get help soon enought? im crazy but i hide it under a apearence, words and kindness that isnt even mine. mabey thats why i copy anime characters. what they say when there happy i say. what they say when there mad and want to show it thats what i say. to seem normal as possible.