#and people around me get so confused lol

[confused-beany]

LMAO not me confusing people into thinking I have a partner because I keep calling my friends baby/pet names on the phone when I'm mad at them

[hana-bobo-finch]

rrrrghhh they r float ing………….

[karamazovanon]

Do you have any thoughts about Alyosha's momentary crisis of faith? Because I understood why he had one, but not so much why he was immediately ready to drink and go see Grushenka. Interested to see if you've any opinions on the matter, either regarding Grushenka or just in general.

OOOOOO this is an interesting question and my answer is going to get kinda long, warning you now LOL

i think alcohol & drinking in general is often a big part of "the karamazovian nature"—fyodor pavlovich and mitya are open alcoholics & hedonists, and ivan's heavily implied to be an alcoholic as well by his delirium tremens at the end—and more generally as one of the wordly temptations that human nature as a whole is susceptible to (tangent, but this is also really interesting when you keep in mind ivan's cup analogy!! drinking & cups are tied to living & life so often; mitya chooses to "fill" his cup/life with alcohol, ivan drinks in secret until he throws the cup/life to the ground at 30 in rebellion, and alyosha instead chooses to fill his cup/life with god. one of the schiller verses mitya quotes in the ardent confession chapter even says "To the soul of God’s creation / Joy eternal brings her draught, / In strong secret fermentation / Flames the cup of life aloft")

and the common denominator is that they don't believe enough to overcome the natural urge to indulge. mitya does believe, but he can't stop himself and reproaches himself for it; ivan doesn't believe despite wanting to and that contributes too imo. but alyosha doesn't drink and is an ascetic for the most part bc everything for him is based off of his unwavering faith—and so when his entire worldview and moral system is shaken by both ivan and father zosima, he questions EVERYTHING and begins feeling detached from reality when it doesn't match up. without his bulletproof faith intact, he no longer has the external ruleset to dictate his behavior, and the karamazovian desire to ease pain with alcohol wins for a moment without being able to trust his prior moral compass

(on rereading for this post, i don't have a formulated thought on it but it's interesting that he agrees to rakitin's initial offer of vodka even though they end up having champagne instead—there's probably some connection there between vodka and worldly/russian baseness vs champagne, which while not communion wine is still wine LMAO)

this quote from the onion chapter is what stands out the most to me, bold mine:

"Alyosha cried out with a wail in his voice. ‘I speak to you not as a judge, but as the least of the judged. What am I before her? I came here in order to be destroyed, saying: “Go on, go on!” – and that was because of my cowardice, while she, after five years of suffering, no sooner did someone come and say a sincere word to her, forgave everything, forgot everything and cried! The assailant of her honour has returned, is summoning her, and yet she forgives him everything and hurries to him in joy and she will not take the knife, she will not take it! Oh, I am not like that! I do not know whether you are like that, Misha, but I am not like that! Today, the moment I received this lesson, I … She loves in a way that is loftier than yours or mine … Have you heard her say this earlier, what she said just now? No, you have not; if you had, you would have understood everything long ago … And let the other woman, whom she offended the other day, let her, too, forgive her! And she will forgive her, if she learns of this … and she shall learn of it … This soul has not yet been reconciled, we must spare it … This soul may contain a treasure …" (tr. mcduff)

when he loses his infallible external/divine guidance, he has to turn inward/to the world around him instead, where he finds guilt and the human urge to self-destroy (as well as the influence of rakitin & his schadenfreude) and as a karamazov, it naturally comes first in the form of alcohol (women, too, but alyosha never really shows any desire on that front) when he sees grushenka's kindness and forgiveness, he snaps out of it and his faith is reinforced (while he believes he's a sinner and unworthy, he sees in her christlike forgiveness and is reminded that although he has these karamazovian urges, giving in to them entirely isn't the answer etc etc im not a theologian and have been writing too long anyway)

this has been such a long ramble with so little structure but this is SUCH an interesting plot point, thank you for asking my thoughts on it!! :D

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Me: yeah I'm just doing some coding-

Like everybody for some reason: YUCK!! Ugh! I'm sorry! That sounds boring and dry as hell. Ew. Get well soon

Me: 🤨🧍

[vampyroteuthid]

the relationship rich people have with food is so funny my landlords bought a box of single serving bowls of sticky rice from costco and it's been tantalizing me for months. they forgot about it apparently immediately after purchasing it and when i leave it here they will undoubtedly be surprised by this rice they assumed was mine. and this is a very mild example of things they have bought and left in my fridge (their extra/garage fridge) and instantly forgotten about. at least this one is shelf stable and not rotting meat for me to clean up

[keeps-ache]

[walks into a wall] [spins around and leans against it like i meant to do that] i have downloaded another program :)

[stinkrascal]

tiktok has made me terrified to befriend other women irl (and people irl in general) because i keep seeing these videos where women will be like “it’s such a red flag when girls are too nice, it comes across toxic” or like their boyfriend’s best friend will have a girlfriend and he’ll introduce her to the op and op will be like “i just don’t trust when his friend’s girl wants to be my friend, huge red flags” and everyone in the comments of these posts will be like ‘yessssssssssss girl totally agree’ but like what???? why?????????????? is there something im missing here?????????? and this is why whenever i mention wanting to befriend new people let it be known im specifically talking about wanting to befriend neurodivergent/autistic people because i genuinely dont understand what the fuck neurotypical people are talking about 80% of the time ahahadhfpogisrjgori

[sharkieboi]

found my old Rose Lalonde Godtier cosplay while doing a clothing audit and tried it on and I’m just absolutely giddy it’s so fun to put this on and just laugh about how much has changed since I last wore it.

I don’t want to take it off yet I’m having so much fun just twirling around and giggling over coming back to my first project that I used my sewing machine to make and all the little rookie mistakes (the sleeves are TERRIBLE it’s hilarious) it’s such a fun moment of nostalgia

[tardis--dreams]

Lord grant me the strength to call the doctor's office tomorrow to ask for a bloodtest

[quil12]

I'm working on this fic again and for whatever reason, the timeline is really confusing to me, so I made a physical version of it so I could look at it and I wanted to share it in case anyone else is reading this fic and wants to see it - this is everything that's posted so far - it has the chapter title and then the age that they would be after that

And here's the full thing (with chapter titles redacted so as to not spoil anything - the dates are just placeholder - the months and years are right though)

[tenok]

.

[fingertipsmp3]

I really think I only get by at work because I look a bit pathetic all the time and people take pity on me

[redstarfish-art]

Question answered! Thanks OP you fucking idiot!

I am actually a bit sad that the answer turned out to be "mainstream media good" and "fanwork bad" though. :(

Was hoping for a more interesting definition of problematic beyond "things I like are fine, and things I don't like are not fine!" I guess I was being too optimistic about OP having sense.

i recommend being a fan of 1 problematic piece of media at least once in your life

[teamseaslug]

Distinct type of woman is one who goes to a goth club and is shocked when she has to interact with something

[mommypieck]

⌗︙・jerking off virgin choso ⸜⸜・

i have been so many people talking about how choso doesn't shave and i want to give my perspective on that.

choso doesn't know why you're looking at him like that. he heard that women like when men walk without their shirt on but he never thought you would be into it.

"do you like my abs?" he asks, sounding completely confused. you laugh at him, telling him that it's because of his abs. but your gaze is completely focused on the happy trail running down to his pants. his sweatpants are hanging a bit lower than they should, giving you a perfect view.

"come here, choso." you tell him, your finger doing the 'come here' motion. his cheeks turn red, just a goofy motion makes him hot all over. he stops right in front of you, his crotch right in your face. you paw at the elastic of his pants, eyes on the hairs under his belly again. you lol your tongue out, licking at his happy trail while you look him right in the eyes.

"what are you do-?" he can't even finish the question because you push his pants out, taking his cock in your mouth. he's long, not the longest, but surely thick. his cock is hidden in between black hairs on the base of his cock. you would normally be disgusted but knowing he's never done this before, makes you wet. you move your hand up and down his shaft,making him choke on the air. he's breathing heavily, trying to conceal the moans that try to get out of his throat.

"you like this?" you ask him, your hand cupping his balls. you massage his ball sack while stroking his shaft. you have tricks in your sleeve that will make him cum right away but you want to tease him. unfortunately, teasing a virgin like choso gives opposite results. he whines like a puppy before cumming all around your hand. you blink few times, confused at how fast he came.

"that was fast." you say. it's not that you're disappointed, you just wanted to play with him a little longer.

"are you mad?" he asks, still out of breath. you shake your head but he sees your expression. he takes your hand again, pressing it right on his cock.

"let's do this again, please. i will last longer. just touch me again."

[mostlykind]

I don’t know how to describe what I’m experiencing these past few days because “things don’t feel real” isn’t doing it justice. but that’s sort of the gist of it. I don’t know maybe it’s because I’ve started a new job and haven’t settled in yet but things feel weirdly off. I feel as though someone’s taken my life and world around me and thrown it off it’s axis a little and everything is just a little wrong. I’ll look at buildings and think how did they get there. things feel fuzzy and out of reach at the same time. even when I think of my friends, particularly when I’m not hanging out with them, it’s strange trying to grasp that they’re real and they exist and still exist when I’m not there. or today I was on the train coming back from work and I was questioning the existence of the train ??? it’s so so so weird and it’s making me anxious but at the same time it’s so off putting and wildly different to anything I’ve experienced that I’m just like what the hell. this is clearly in my head