#but im 100% certain there are men who make these weird comments too i just havent seen them

[stinkrascal]

tiktok has made me terrified to befriend other women irl (and people irl in general) because i keep seeing these videos where women will be like “it’s such a red flag when girls are too nice, it comes across toxic” or like their boyfriend’s best friend will have a girlfriend and he’ll introduce her to the op and op will be like “i just don’t trust when his friend’s girl wants to be my friend, huge red flags” and everyone in the comments of these posts will be like ‘yessssssssssss girl totally agree’ but like what???? why?????????????? is there something im missing here?????????? and this is why whenever i mention wanting to befriend new people let it be known im specifically talking about wanting to befriend neurodivergent/autistic people because i genuinely dont understand what the fuck neurotypical people are talking about 80% of the time ahahadhfpogisrjgori

[billionairesitgirl]

Hi, how are you?

I have been wanting to introduce myself to this world and have tried couple of times but i also have been afraid since i dont know exactly where and how to begin and your blog literally appeared to me like magic.

Im a mexican girl, 24 and i really want to know how to do it and mostly gain some mentorship from this people. Also, i wish to know how to be careful and what to be careful of since there's an obvious risk as well.

Started looking for many times but i would back down cuz i didn't know or wanted to expose myself to any danger.

Couple of times i have been approached by man that seem/are wealthy and they ask me out or to meet with me to talk about a possible agreement, and i know i can manage to do it thats why i feel a bit enthusiastic to start in this world.

Any mentoring tips from you?

Thank you so much 🌼

Hi, I am great... April has been a little weird... 

“I have been wanting to introduce myself to this world and have tried couple of times but i also have been afraid since i dont know exactly where and how to begin and your blog literally appeared to me like magic.”

It sounds like you are not quite sure which of the world you want to be in.

Do you know? Everyone here is not in the same life nor do we have the same goals. You have to decide which it is for you... Your reasons, your goals, and what level of men you want to do deal witth, in what capacity and what your current resources, your level of perseverance for what you want to achieve are etc

Im a mexican girl, 24 and i really want to know how to do it and mostly gain some mentorship from this people. Also, i wish to know how to be careful and what to be careful of since there's an obvious risk as well.

Where are you? And what exactly is stopping you other than the fear of danger?

Cause there are many non dangerous ways of meeting affluent men... Maybe a little expensive but certainly less dangerous...

Where are you located... Who are your friends? who do you hang out with? where do you spend your time? 

Just as an example: Who are you swiping right to on dating apps? what are their credentials and their stance on providing for a woman? You can simply start by dating ceo’s of small companies, managing directors who make millions etc that you meet on dating apps... Dating those will help increase your network...

Assuming you lacked network. 

What are you doing that you need mentorship in?

Then align yourself with the type of men who can offer mentorship and enjoy it (be careful of those who just offer it in exchange for sex...  They are not capable of mentoring you majority of the time)

What type and caliber of men are you meeting... Not everyone who is an “SD” has the capability to offer useful mentorship. 

For me... I am so extremely careful that this week alone i got blocked out of annoyance by a man worth at least 100 million and another worth at least 10 million because i am blatant about keeping every conversation classy and non-sexual. And I know these men are capable of wooing me the way i like... But i do not play about my boundaries... If a man can’t respect it... that means a lot of things to me... GRANTED they will be back... Men love women who confound them... But i digress.

(How do i know? They are easily googled, I met them at a mini luxury party on one of my trips last month... ) 

What am trying to say is... Create boundaries, listen to your intuition and do not... I REPEAT... do not deal with anyone who does not respect your boundaries. until you are in a full relationship and certain you can make compromise and that person does for you too... But boundaries are still boundaries.

Even if the man promises you the world... Do not be quick to give your information... Make use of some resources some girls share here to check the men out... 

Practice extreme safety.... There is nothing like being too safe.

If you can, only date men who have more to lose than you; should anything happen and men who are respectful of your space and boundaries...

If anyone has more please leave it in the comment for her

Also always keep yourself and dress sophisticated ... Men grade women unfortuately...

Couple of times i have been approached by man that seem/are wealthy and they ask me out or to meet with me to talk about a possible agreement, and i know i can manage to do it thats why i feel a bit enthusiastic to start in this world.

Well, appearing and seeming to be wealthy doesn’t mean they are so be careful and Vet well.

Secondly, since the seemingly wealthy men are approaching you, it means you are around areas where you could meet men.

So why not go on some fine dining date(sss).. chat and get to know each other... subtly wring information about them and their capability from them... Guage and learn how they react to your boundariees or to something they want and that you sublty decline... 

Try to go on afternoon walking dates... just absent-mindedly walk into a flower shop and start looking around  point at one and look at him.

If not a flower shop, find a jewerly or clothing or shoe boutique (something expensive) and enter abse-mindedly talking about how you’ve actually been meaning to do this... Guage their ability and seriousness to have an arrangment by how they react...

Their reaction to your boundaries and these little feeminine quirks should helpfully be a guide

NOTE: To be able to pull off wanting the designer item... You dont have to have brand name from had to toe... But you have to look like the kind of woman that actually step in there (if not all the time) but at least  from time to time... 

Again there are many ways of dressing sophisticated that makes it hard for a man to gauge who you are wearing but assume it is top of the line

Hope this helps

#sugardating  #sugardatingadvice #sugardatingtips  #hypergamy #sugardatingtip

[jostepherjoestar]

Hey ✨queen✨ I was wondering if it’s alright if I ask what would happen to La Squadra if the child member’s future self got sent to the past and their child self got sent to the future. Their future self who’s a teen is wearing grunge clothing and is kinda going through the ‘screw off im a teen who wants privacy to do my own things’ type attitude.

La Squadra kid/Pomo as a teenager 😤

sfw // Pomo/LS kid

note: i changed the idea anon, so sorry to do it. It felt like a more suitable course for Pomo’s story to adjust it, I do still hope you’ll enjoy it without the time travel!

Absolutely adore the idea of Pomo-rino being a grungy/goth teen!! They’d 100% have a septum piercing and denounce capitalism (as they should) and just be all broody. I do think that the relationships they’ve built with La Squadra have become so strong and close that even though they enjoy their privacy, Pomo would still know they could count on all of the guys 😊 enjoy!! 💖✨

As extravagant as the rest of La Squadra is, Pomo’s approach to life and fashion changed after turning 16. Before, they loved indulging in more experimental outfits, stranger styles and colours that seemed to make them fit among the rest of the lavish men. But now, after discovering the amazingness that is thrift-shopping and the angsty, introspective style of grunge and goth -that by the time Pomo reached age 17 had already come and gone out of style- there was no turning back.

Along with the style came the attitude: communication went a bit rougher and replies seemed shorter. Going out without letting anyone know when they’d be back or even with who they’d be going with. After some stern talks with a couple of eye rolls Pomo promised to text them whenever they went out.

Pomo had already finished their high-school diploma with little help and extremely high marks at age 14 so there was no need to even think about the highs and lows that came along with it anymore. That certain melancholy and emotional openness of the grunge and goth (music) genres brought Pomo some comfort; it felt a bit lonely, a former child assassin- now teen assassin- doesn’t make new friends that easily. Especially since that silent streak never quite left Pomo, preferring a quieter demeanour. They had become a little more vocal over time, offering the occasional opinion on serious work related matters.

God they were so well spoken too. A voice so soft- almost trained, letting out brilliant things like a calm stream manoeuvring a rocky valley, knowing just where to go and what places to avoid.

Being quiet had many upsides, most of them learned from Risotto who loved to spend time with Pomo, just observing the calamity that was their squad. That way no social queue was left unnoticed, navigating every situation with grace, often times coming to aid others in their reserved manner. Pomo will often bring warm drinks or snacks to their tired teammates who thoroughly appreciate the small gestures. Do not be fooled though, that dry wit also carried through with age. The comments often so unexpected which made them all the more hilarious, the squad is sure not to linger on sipping their drinks around Pomo. (lotsa spit takes lol)

Prosciutto and Ghiaccio have the most issues with Pomo’s new style and attitude. (they seemed more a bit more broody and open to talking back every once in a while) Zio Ghiaccio and papa Prosci especially hated the thrifting part! “Why would you buy worn clothes AND rip them even further? Pomo what’s the point?” Prosciutto just does not get it. Why pay any money for those strange clothes that smelled like mothballs?! “It’s not like like you don’t make enough money to buy clothes that aren’t ripped.” Ghiaccio prefers not to think about it too much, knowing just how much it riles him up. At some point he just has to let these damn teens be, no matter how much they annoy him with their “emo attitude”. These two will try anything, even gifting Pomo clothes they think would fit way better. Only for them to end up in a thrift-shop, Pomo likes being able to donate to the cycle of clothes, much to the two’s chagrin.

Formaggio and Risotto are WAY too lenient in letting Pomo do whatever they please. Attitude or not, they think it’s kind of funny to see them grow into such an open minded young adult with a headstrong attitude. Both are fans of experimenting with style and overall expression to find one that works in the end. The men both know Pomo well enough, they’ve already proved to be wise and capable of making well thought through decisions so they trust Pomo with this just as much. Although Risotto is not a fan of their choice in tight crop-tops. HAH! The irony! After some grumbling and Pomo assuring them that their jacket covers it up anyway, Risotto doesn’t have much ground to stand on (not that he ever had, the man’s tits are out at work). Formaggio truly couldn’t care less, showing a little skin never hurt him so why refuse them the expression? They look cool in those dark threads!

Who do you think drives Pomo to the thrift-shop? MELONE: eager father figure and fashion enabler! (with a cool motorcycle!!) He loves sticking it to the man just as much as Pomo right now. He’s really into the whole fashion aspect, picking out piles upon piles of possible pieces to try out. The thrift shop workers are less than pleased with the mess they leave but Pomo is sure to leave a sizeable donation after checking out! Melone is one of the few to voice their concern for Pomo’s change in behaviour. He just wants them to be alright and feel somewhat ok with their strange life, keeping in mind to frequently ask if they still want this lifestyle. Melone wouldn’t restrict them from doing more rebellious stuff, he’d just prefer to know what was going on so he doesn’t need to overthink or worry every time Pomo’s out.

Illuso LOVES encouraging ‘bad’ behaviour! Want to stay out past bedtime? Sure why not, come back by sun-up and just act like you woke up early to watch the sun rise. Snap back at Prosciutto or Risotto? Go for it, see what happens! Over the years he’s grown more fond of the kid but never really took up a big role in offering them any parental care. He cares of course, but just from a distance. Maybe he’s a bit intimidated by their smarts and those eyes that never really changed, still so intruding when they meet his, seeming to search his very soul. For once Illuso’s pride knows better than to get in Pomo’s way.

Pesci is so easy to convince to join the movement! He’s warmed up a lot more to Pomo, gone from thinking they’re some weird scary kid to an admirable and still somewhat scary teen. When Pomo starts becoming more goth/grungy he’ll be impressed with their style change, wondering if he should get a cool leather jacket too. Pomo still likes to prank him from time to time. Telling all sort of wild theories to impress Pesci and let him babble on about them to Prosciutto and the rest of the gang who already caught onto the whole charade. Strangely Pesci looks up to Pomo, admiring them for trying out new things and not being afraid to ruffle a few feathers in their team.

[emi1y]

oops introspection about lesbianism got too long now its under a cut

i think this is where the split attraction model made sexuality labels so fucky when it's used in any circumstances other than asexuality/aromanticism (i.e. people using that model when they don't identify with any labels on the ace/aro spectrum. like biromantic/homosexual.) because it splits identities along the axis of sexual attraction and romantic attraction, as if there's not huge huge overlap and grey areas between those. and yet ive never seen any discussion on here about splitting sexuality on the axis of attraction and behavior instead, when that's a much clearer distinction to make. who someone is inherently attracted to, versus the sexual relationships they persue. and I understand that it would be weird to have a label for your sexual behavior, because that's much more nebulous than just pinning down which gender you're interested in. but, for me at least, its a lot clearer of a line to draw. because as far as I understand it, i am a woman(ish. not the point of this post.) and i am attracted to women. sexually and romantically. but i would not care if i had a reason to have sex with men, be it for any number of platonic reasons. and that's not sexual attraction to men, if anything its sexual neutrality towards men. and im almost certain that's not comphet talking? because im talking about situations like. okay ethically questionable behavior here but sleeping with people for leverage or whatever. i would be fine with that. or friends with benefits in exclusively physical intimacy that has nothing to do with actual attraction. these are all situations that, in theory i would be 100% fine with consenting to given the right variables. and one of the variables, being attracted to that person, will not be checked if its a man but that can be outweighed by other variables. so like ..???

but that's too much to explain to people so i think the lesbian label is fine for me. i just. i feel like ive never read about people having similar feelings, be it from lesbians or bisexual women. and it would be helpful if at least one of those groups identified with what i was saying because then it could be like oh yeah thats where i fit in! but i just end up feeling like something is wrong or im too cynical or cold or whatever for being so upfront about the fact that sex for me isn't something that attraction is a completely necessary part of when theres so many other reasons that could lead to people having sex. and i WANT to talk about it more because i feel like just saying ''im a lesbian but I'd have sex with men given the right circumstances" is too vague for people who don't know the entire story but this is my blog and sometimes i want to make throwaway comments like that!! and i dont want people misinterpreting it and thinking im like, supporting the "bi lesbian" label or whatever cuz obviously that's bs. a lesbian cant be bi a lesbian is exclusively attracted to women. and the bi label isnt about who you're willing to have sex with it's about who you're attracted to. and. okay. slight nsfw time. but i genuinely don't see how, in the absense of any attractive, how having sex with a man would be any different from fucking a sex doll. like?? obviously its a sentient person but physically arent those basically the same? its just persuit of physical sensation?? and thats not the same as active sexual attraction. because if i saw a sex doll on the street i wouldn't be like "oh thats so hot 🥵🔥". its just a useful means to an end in a specific scenario. SOOO UMM YEAH LOL

[777horns333rats]

trans OCD, doubt, and the internet

11/30/2020

tw, doubt, dysphoria, a bunch of other crappy trans related problems

today i made the very moronic decision of posting a tik tok venting about dysphoria today. i received multiple comments from 16 year olds telling me to “google tocd.” what i found in the results was honestly very dangerous. 

doubt is something i’m very familiar with, having been in the closet for 19 years. while presenting as cis, the innermost thought that was the backdrop to everything wasn’t necessarily “im in the wrong body” but more “something is wrong, and i feel like nobody knows me.” the thought “am i transgender” was constantly followed up by my very conscious follow up thought

“no, you aren’t transgender, transgender people are in pain all of the time, transgender people don’t question it, transgender people face so much bigotry and pain, you don’t want to face all of that bigotry and pain do you? even if you are transgender, you wouldn’t want to transition because you like dating men too much, men will never want to date you if you transition.” (i haven’t transitioned yet, but from what i know so far that last anxiety isn’t really true at all.) sometimes these purposeful counter thoughts would last for so long that they started getting pretty weird and meta. things like “if you were transgender, you are somebody who is so honest and doesn’t care what other people think, you would have already transitioned by now!” which is hard to make sense of in retrospect.

after coming out, and presenting as a woman, i don’t necessarily have these long battles with myself as often anymore, but i’d be lying if i said they went away entirely. its much easier to spot what my true feelings are and what is surpression now, but i still have moments where i’ll think, “what the fuck am i doing?” i think addressing this doubt head on is something that is really overlooked in the trans community, but is really important, because being trans isn’t about following a checklist, but following your authenticity. without doubt, how are we going to be sure if something is right for us? i still have doubt from time to time, where i’ll think maybe i am some form of nonbinary, or just a feminine man, it’s easy to tackle these thoughts as now i approach them with no fear, knowing the answer to them will not be a challenge to deal with, as i have already dealt with coming out as a woman.

here’s where that tik tok comment comes in. tOCD, or Transgender Related OCD, is not related to being transgender, but actually linked with OCD, with a fixation on transgender identity. i read a few stories from people with this and felt overwhelmed with shock at how similar these stories felt to mine. lying awake at night combatting the question “am i transgender?” feeling an immense sense of fear or dread along with the idea of transitioning, or “becoming transgender,” and the thoughts being triggered by certain random things. these things all felt very familiar to my experience, as my thoughts of being trans before i was out were not at all happy. that is the common difference i kept reading “for transgender people, these thoughts bring them joy, make them happy, and do not cause distress or make them try to combat these feelings.” this description of trans experience was not at all similar to my experience, this made me increasingly fearful that i had gotten it all wrong.

i threw myself into a rabbit hole. i read forum after forum, i tried to analyze a scientific study, i read blog posts and discussion boards. i do not often spend my time on the internet on forums with neurodivergent people, or in neurodivergent spaces, though i am neurodivergent, it doesn’t impact my life in many major ways so i do not seek those spaces, but finding a lot of tOCD forums, there is a MASSIVE amount of transphobia hidden there. while there are 100% cisgender people with tOCD, it looks like to me a lot of closeted trans people (or eggs) have co-opted that space in order to talk down their own thoughts. this makes the few tOCD forums that exist a dangerous mix of people assisting each other through their intrusive thoughts, and eggs spewing transphobic rhetoric in the comments of confused and nervous people. this was absolutely not healthy for me to see, and if you are going to do research yourself, i recommend checking in with yourself and your triggers, because it is really difficult to find the distinction from what i’ve found. 

i can report, i am a woman. this is something that is unwaivering through all of my forms of doubt. this is something that is a truth regardless of my thoughts, and regardless of my feelings. before i knew this though, my thoughts were not at all joyful when trying to find out this discovery. discovering i was a trans woman this whole time, meant i had been spending the past 19 years of my life, in a sense, lying to the people around me. it had meant i was spending my life up to this point, dormant, or not being my true self. it had meant i was going to have to go through expensive treatments, therapy, and oppression. all these thoughts of me being a woman were clouded entirely by overwhelming fear, so no, i didn’t feel happy when my thoughts approached me, in fact i felt nothing but overwhelming dread, and a desire to push those thoughts away.

living as a woman and embracing my gender identity has proven to be nothing but helpful, and has made me feel nothing but more confident and true to myself. the truth is always behind the panic, and when it comes to your gender identity, there’s very little reason to panic.

heres a link to the random quora answer that helped calm me down, i recommend you read it if you are having any anxieties : https://qr.ae/pNikpp

[numba99]

Fatal Attraction

Summary: When a mysterious man shows up at your job, you find yourself inexplicably drawn to him - and him to you. But behind the beautiful face is the dark lifestyle of a man who has made his wealth through becoming the most powerful drug dealer in the city. Word count: 2.7k

Song (new thing I wanna try for this series first song is the general ~vibe~ im going for with this) Him & I by Halsey and G-eazy

Warnings: OKAY SO this is gonna be a long one. Obviously this whole fic is going to have drug mentions in it. I want to be clear that I am not trying to glamorize/condone drug usage. We are all adults and can make decisions on how we feel about that kind of stuff on our own. This is merely a work of fiction and I completely respect you choosing not to read it for whatever reason. I am not 100% sure what’s going to come out as a I write this but I imagine there will be mentions of violence (though I have no plans nor interests in writing about violence explicitly), smut, weapons, etc. I will put more specific warnings on each part, but I wanted to give a general idea so you don’t start something you wouldn’t be comfortable finishing. okay thats enough of that, let’s get to the good stuff.

It was a Friday night like any other. You stepped out on to your personal stage for the night, wrapping you hand around the silver pole in the center. It was cold and familiar, the sensation always flipped a switch in you. It was time to work. A slow, sexy R&B song spilled out of the speakers as you began a sultry walk around the pole. You noted the faces in the crowd, painted blue by the clubs low, mood lighting. They all melted together, a sea of desperate men with fantasies playing in their heads. Then you spotted him.

He showed up a little over a month ago, and since then has came in week after week. He always sat in the back, always by your stage. You had some frequent flyers, but no one like this, no one like him. He didn’t so much as look at any of the other dancers. He was there for you, you could feel that even from across the room.

And yet, you never felt uncomfortable by his presence. In fact, you looked forward to it. You couldn’t be certain, but you thought he was keeping at an eye out for you. You noticed he was always with another man, who was suited and stood behind him. If a patron got too in your face, he’d whisper to the man he was with, who’d then pull aside whoever was bothering you. Without fail they scampered away every time. You never heard what was said, but the look on the other guys face told you it wasn’t very kind.

He tipped handsomely as well, though he never put the money on you. While the other men would clamor to slide single dollar bills in your lingerie, he’d have his “sidekick,” as you dubbed him, lay a single hundred dollar bill stage after every song... and then drop off a few hundreds before he left for the night. Some nights he'd tip you more than you could make in a week.

Though his presence seemed benevolent enough, you were a bit cautious of him. You wondered what this mystery man wanted, why he was watching you. In this industry, you learn to become suspicious of men that pay too much attention to you. You’ve dealt with many creeps in your time stripping, and you wondered if he was just rich and shy, waiting to build up the nerve to make a move on you and hoping the money he was dropping would soften you up.

As fate would have it, tonight would be the night you’d get your answer.

Your club’s manager Rick, who was as sleazy as sleazy gets called you off the stage for a private room booking. When you were lucky, or unlucky depending on how you looked at it, a man would book you for some time in one of the private areas. During this time you were either giving him a lap dance, or worse, acting like his therapist. You lost count of the amount of times you got alone with a man and he just broke down crying about his wife or shitty life or something you didn’t care about. It was a 50/50, but you put up with because they made you good money.

“Who’s the lucky man?” you deadpanned. 

“The dude back there,” Rick replied, nodded to your mystery man. You cocked a brow, shocked that he was requesting alone time with you when he hasn’t so much as sat front row for one of your dances. You had no idea what to expect, but you had a strange feeling growing in your stomach that there was more than meets the eye with this man. You never really got nervous for these things anymore, it was just part of the job, but something about finally being face to face with him was making your heart thud.

“Put on a good show for him would ya? Man spends a lot when he is here. Don’t need you fucking it up,” Rick said as he chomped on a stale-smelling sandwich.

“What room?” you asked, ignoring his stupid comments.

“Three. Get naked if he wants, I want that money y/n,” Rick replied. You turned around flipping him the middle finger as you walked away. It was supposed to be club rules that your bottoms always stay on... and it was also supposed to be club rules that guys weren’t allowed to touch you outside the private rooms. However, Rick could turn a blind eye if money was being made for him.

You knew you were at the right room, the sidekick was standing outside like a guard. He stepped aside for you without word, allowing you inside. Odd, but you’ve seen enough weird shit here that it didn't phase you. The door clicked shut and you spun around, finding the mystery man alone on the cushioned booth. The lights were low, but you could see him so much better now. His hair was slicked back into a low bun, face framed by a well taken care of beard. You couldn’t tell the exact color of his eyes in the lighting, but they were mesmerizing even from a distance.

“Sit,” he said softly, patting the spot next to him. You approached cautiously, keeping your eyes on him the entire time. It always raised your suspicion when a man didn’t ask you get on top of him right away.

“Please don’t tell me you’re one of those dudes who’s going to tell me I’m too good for this and you want to save my soul,” you said as you sat next to them. You’ve gotten a few of those holier-than-thou types in your time here. It was funny how when you told them you were not interested in being “saved” they still wanted a lap dance.

“I don’t think you’re someone who needs to be saved,” the stranger replied simply. Interesting.

“What do you want then?” you questioned.

“I’d love to know your name,” he replied, “ Your real name.”

You weren’t supposed to give out your real name at the club, but Rick never followed his own rules, why should you. Besides, he did say to give him what he wants.“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

He cocked a grin, laughing lightly. “I’m Mika.”

“Mika,” you repeated, your voice just above a whisper. You weren’t sure why, but it felt like such a victory to know this man’s name.

“Sounds a lot prettier coming from you,” He commented, “And yours?” He tilted his head slightly as he looked at you, sending your stomach to your feet. Closer up you could see his eyes were a rich hazel. They seemed to pierce through you; you felt exposed under his gaze... and not just because you were in lingerie and he was fully dressed. You almost felt as if he knew what you were going to say before you could get the words out.

“Y/n,” you told him.

“Beautiful name,” he replied, “Fitting.” Mika had an innate charm to him, making all his words sound so much sweeter. His comment was simple, cliché really, yet it brought a blush to your cheeks.

“Is there something I can do for you?” you asked, trying to remember why you were here.

“I’d like to take you out,” Mika replied, “If you’d like of course.”

Of course you would, but it wasn’t that easy. “I’m on shift for another couple hours,” you told him. 

“Let me see what I can do,” Mika replied. Before you had a chance to ask what he meant by that, he called in his sidekick, who’s name you learned was Chris. Mika whispered something in his ear, handing him a thick wad of cash. Chris walked away without a word and Mika smiled at you. “Give it a minute.”

You weren’t sure what to make of all this, but you didn't really have time to process it. Just moments later Chris was back. “You're free to go whenever you want y/n,” Chris informed you. Of course, Rick never met a pile of cash he didn’t like.

“So what do you say?” Mika asked, flashing a warm smile. How could say no?

“Let me get changed,” You replied, standing up, “But just so you know, this club is filled with cameras. If you’re planning to take me somewhere and kill me or something, everyone is going to know it was you so don’t bother.” Felt like good measure to add that in.

Mika chuckled, “You’re smart, I like that. But don’t worry y/n, you’re safe with me.” You had no reason to believe him, but for some reason you did. He told you he’d be waiting outside his car for you, and with that you went back to the dressing room. You wished you had worn something nicer than just a pair of jeans and an old tee, but nothing you could do about that now.

You hurried out, not wanting to bump into Rick and deal with any of his stupidity. You were giddy as you stepped out on to the street, feeling like you were playing hooky in high school. Mika was right where he said he would be, leaning against a blacked out SUV. It looked sleek and expensive, much like him.

“Uber black?” You questioned.

Mika chuckled, “No, it’s mine.” Damn, who the hell had room for a car like this in the city? Mika helped you into the back of the car, the front occupied by the driver and Chris.

“Do you always travel with a pose?” you asked.

Mika pressed a button in side panel of the door and a divider went up, separating the two of you from the pair in the front. “Now it’s just me and you.”

“Still doesn’t answer my question,” you noted.

“Fair enough,” Mika replied with a hint of a smirk, “Typically Chris is always with me and the driver comes with the car so if you consider that a pose, then yes.”

“More people than I travel with,” you replied, “And who is Chris to you?” 

“A friend,” he replied simply. Right, because everyone’s friends follow them around like a guard dog, you thought. You didn't want to push him too much, he was still a stranger after all.

“You’re good at not answering questions,” you noted, looking out the window. “Do I at least get to know where we are going?”

“Well the only places open right now are-”

“Bars and strip clubs,” you answered for him.

“Right,” Mika nodded.

“Well if it doesn’t make a difference to you I’d prefer a bar,” you replied.

“I had a feeling you were going to say that,” Mika smiled, “How about one drink at the next bar we pass? I don’t want to keep you too late.”

“I’m good with that,” you nodded. Being that it was New York, the next bar popped up right away. Mika had the driver pull over and let told him to wait here as he helped you out of the car. Chris asked if he should come in with you guys, which you thought was a bit strange, but thankfully Mika told him he’d be fine on his own.

The bar was a small, a real hole-the-wall type place. The guests didn’t look too savory, but they were all far into their drinks to notice you. Mika sat you down at the furthest end of the bar, away from everyone else. The bar tendered begrudgingly asked what you two wanted, though you didn’t blame him for the attitude. You guessed you met similar people in your lines of work, so you totally understood.

“Just a vodka soda with extra lime, please,” you told him.

“Have you a got a vodka preference?” Mika asked.

You let out a short laugh, “Whatever’s cheapest.”

Mika bit back a smile, turning back to the bartender, “Whiskey neat for me. Give us whatever the best stuff on your top shelf is.” He tossed down a hundred on the bar top. That changed the guy’s mood.

“Of course, sir,” he scooped up the bill and scurried off. 

“You toss around hundreds like they’re single dollar bills,” you said.

Mika shrugged, “I like to be generous.”

“A generous man with a great job,” you replied as the bartender placed the drinks in front of you two. 

Mika smirked as his lips touched the glass, as if you’d shared some inside joke. “You could say that.”

“So what is it then? What do you do?” you asked, sipping your drink. You knew you were supposed to think it was so much better because it was the fancy stuff but to you vodka was well... vodka.

“I’m in business,” he replied simply.

“Oh come on,” you rolled your eyes, “That’s like me just saying I dance.”

“Does the distinction really matter?” Mika asked.

“Yeah, because people might assume I’m a Rockette meanwhile I’m just a stripper in a shitty club,” you replied before taking another long sip. Okay maybe there was something to this fancy shit.

“But either way you are still a dancer, so the statement isn’t false. Why not let people believe what they want?” Mika replied.

You let out a groan, “You’re impossible. But you are good at that thing you’re doing.”

“What thing I’m doing?” Mikas asked laughing lightly.

“The whole dodging questions with other questions thing,” you replied taking a swig of your drink. You were almost done with it; it went down smooth despite the familiar burn.

“But not good enough for you not to notice,” Mika pointed out.

“Definitely not,” you shook your head, “Nothing gets past me.”

“We’ll see about that,” Mika mumbled into his glass.

“Will we?”

“Maybe,” Mika replied, “If you go out with me again.”

“So I have to go out with you to get answers?” you questioned.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Mika replied, “But if you want to get to know me more, a second date would be a good place to start. That’s typically how these things work.” He added the last part in with a teasing grin.

“Touché,” you replied, “I’ll go out with you again.” Not just because you wanted to know more about what he does, though that was a motivator, you were just so intrigued by him.

“Lucky me,” he smiled. With that you both finished up and Mika left another generous tip. As you walked out of the bar, his hand found your lower back. You could feel the warmth through your shirt; it spread through your body weakening you in the knees.

He settled next to you in the car, closer than he had before. You suddenly caught a whiff of his scent, an intoxicating mix of earthy-warmth with just the slightest hint of sweetness. You found yourself staring at his neck, wishing you could burry your face into it and drink in the scent as you kissed at his skin.

“Your number?” You shook yourself back to reality, realizing Mika had been speaking to you. The way he looked at you made you feel like he knew exactly what you were thinking.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, a blush rising to your cheeks as you took the phone from his hands. You tapped in your name and number before handing it back to him, resolving to not let yourself get so wrapped up in him like that. At least not while he was there to witness it.

“Well it was nice to finally meet you,” Mika said as the car came to a stop outside your apartment.

“Likewise,” you replied, hopping out. You turned around, allowing yourself one last look at him.

“I’ll be in touch about our date. Have a nice night y/n,” Mika replied.

“You too, Mika.”

You let out a long sigh as you made your way up to your place. You felt like you needed a drink more now than you did before that date. There was something about Mika that you couldn’t quite put your finger on that felt dangerous. Not that you ever felt unsafe with him, it was the opposite actually, but being with him felt like an adrenaline rush almost. Like you were doing something you weren't supposed to. Whatever it was, you knew there was more to this man than meets the eye. And you were determined to find out exactly what that was.

[husbandograveyard]

Self-Ship tag  (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

-- deleted the OG post as to not give @some-piece unwanted attention and she has recently asked to not reblog hers, but I also did not want to let this little thing get lost. By all means, feel free to ignore this-- 

First things first @some-piece THATS ADORABLE AAAAHHHH I SHIP U SO HARD 😩🥰😤. That was such a nice read! ❤

Okay so for this self ship tag game I have been doubting for HOURS. I Actually asked some friends who to pick and I am 100% torn. I LOVE many OP men so Im gonna do a little bit of both Shanks and Ace.

Other OP husbandos include, but are not limited to: Zoro, Sabo and Kid. But Freckles and Red hair are my 2 main selfships and are ones my actual personality would match with, unlike... yknow, Kid for example.

Disclaimer: I am 1 shy potato bean in real life, so I am pretty sure besides my neon hair I'd never catch these guys' eyes or have the guts to approach them, but a girl can dream ya know? 🙈 another disclaimer is that while a lot of my reader inserts are self indulgent, it's actually weird to talk about myself, my actual personality in a selfship, but NGL, it was kinda nice! Enjoy, and please tell me all about your selfships, in reblogs, comments, or asks! I am hella curious, but I don't want to actually tag anyone since I'm not sure if you're comfortable with it ♡

❤ Hazel and Shanks ❤

☆ This man would bring out the best in me. Adventures? New discoveries? Travel? YES YES YES! We'd go on so many adventures, explore things, he'd be the best person to playfully get me out of my shell and I'd become his partner in crime in no time!

☆ I can actually hold my liquor really well? So drinking buddies? Definitely! Trying out new and exotic drinks is something I like as well.

☆ I like a certain degree of independence while still craving affection and Shanks is the perfect man for that, having his own responsibilities but still coming home for some well needed cuddles.

☆ Anything small he needs help with because he only has one hand? I got him, tying a tie for formal events (as if) or buttoning up his shirt (or unbuttoning it for that matter)

☆ We'd spoil the hell out of each other but mostly in affirmations and actions rather than actual gifts. Trying to one-up each other in creative and new dates, both romantic and adventurous.

☆ His positive and laid back attitude keeps me from overthinking and worrying too much, and whenever my head does take over, I know I can come home to him without any judgement, and that's worth a lot.

☆ Perfect dad to raise some children and pets with! He'd be so loving to our children.

I could go on forever 🙈 but I wanted to keep em "short" so here's Ace

🧡 Hazel and Portgas D. "Freckleface" Ace 🧡

☆ Okay, so, Ace is a little insecure, not sure if he's deserving of love? You bet that I am here to shower him in compliments and affirmations any time of the day.

☆ He's the sweetest, gentlest and most polite bean ever and I love every single aspect of him, both the softer side and the more confident, cocky side that comes out in battle, he's so hella sexy when he gets confident. (Yknow what, scratch that, he's always sexy)

☆ So many cuddles. So many. I'm naturally someone who's always hot, so I'll have to sacrifice some of my precious coolness but 10000% worth it if it's for Ace.

☆ I'll always make sure that if he gets a narcolepsy attack that he's somewhere safe, comfortable and clean, including after he plants himself face first in some meal i carefully prepared.

☆ He's got a great appetite, I LOVE cooking and baking, so that's another part of match made in heaven.

☆ Besides adventurous and exploration dates, lazy afternoons where we just give each other backrubs and head scritches, maybe while lazing around, snacking some or reading a book, are very common, and I love it.

☆ Ticklefights. No need to add to that.

☆ Ace is always there to keep me from my insecurities, lifting me up with that gorgeous smile of his whenever I feel down or anxious. Instead of feeding of each other's insecurities, we lift each other up, theres constant reminders of our love and affirmations.

☆ Just overall very fluffy, cuddly and soff

☆ I'll have to sacrifice some of that personal space i value, but since Ace drinks his respect women juice and will never intentionally overstep boundaries, that's a sacrifice im willing to make.

[b0x]

😔 some Thoughts on the Trans Experience under the cut that i wanna vent out bc of some posts ive seen around that just kinda didnt sit right with me i guess

every time someone on here is like “trans men cannot experience eldest/only daughter trauma bc they are men and are therefore experiencing transphobic trauma” it’s like... man, gender is way too complex to be so cut & dry about a topic like this. many trans men grew up experiencing the traumas of being a daughter And being a trans man daughter, both pre-transition and post. saying that isn’t saying “trans men are actually women because they experienced this women’s trauma” it’s just recognising that many traumas overlap, regardless of gender. i know it comes from a supportive place, validating us as real men, but that should include validating our unique experiences too. 

i hope this makes sense, but a trans-man-daughter is still 100% a man, still 100% a son, but is very different to and does not have the same experience as a trans-man-son. and a trans-man-daughter doesn’t mean “a trans man raised as a daughter because they didn’t know they were trans at the time”, or “a trans man raised as a daughter by a homophobic parent even after coming out and already knowing they are trans”. no, a trans-man-daughter can still also be a trans man raised as a son with 100% support, because a parent’s trauma can still pass on regardless of the circumstance, because a trans person’s relationship with themselves and their own gender and body and mind is so unique and one-of-a-kind that we were practically designed to overlap the many gendered concepts that so many gatekeep as a sense of empowerment. 

and it sucks making our own posts/experience sometimes, because they never feel like “our own”? because they all come from traumas and bigotry that have already been boxed and labelled and sorted into sections, and to be someone who has bits and pieces from all those different boxes/sections? a trans person can, for example, experience misogyny one year and then transmisogyny the next and that doesnt make the misogyny the prior year “actually transmisogyny”, it was still misogyny that was experienced, even if it’s later relabeled as “transmisogyny”. if anything that just makes it TWO kinds of misogyny experienced instead of just one. it’s terribly confusing. and trust me, for every cis person confused by a trans concept, i can almost guarantee you it’s just as confusing for the trans person themselves. and this isn’t also me saying that ohh trans people have it worse because we experience Double the bigotry and trauma - no absolutely not. i just think it’s important for people to realise that there are people who will experience both misogyny And transmisogyny and that in itself creates its own new kind of bigotry/trauma experienced, if that makes sense?

of course, i don’t speak for every single trans man, but it’s a very specific kind of transphobia a lot of us experience that ties in directly with eldest/only daughter trauma, and why we relate to and connect with posts like that, even when they’re aimed specifically at those who identify primarily as women.

and on top of all that, i see quite a few of the same trans man “supporters” who say “trans men can’t experience daughter’s traumas because they’re men” do complete 180s and say that trans women can’t experience eldest/only daughter trauma bc their transphobia doesn’t correlate with “womanhood” at the source, because trauma that sons/men/male at birth experience is different to the trauma that daughters/women/female at birth experience, which is.. horrifically and bewilderingly transmisogynistic, transphobic, alienating, and just..  Shocking. shocking that these two points can be somehow made in the same breath together without any of them realising what they’re saying.

it’s like.. this weird group of people who are somehow both the opposite of and exactly the same as terfs? theyre more like... tirfs - trans Inclusionary radical feminists - the people who treat trans men like a substitute for the “effeminate cis gay best friend”, the one’s who will validate your masculinity but not entirely consider you a 100% guy, latching onto that “biological fact” of trans men being “female at birth” and therefore considering you more of a “sister” than a “brother”, regardless of them knowing and understanding that you are a man. i guess its kind of very similar to the transphobes who make awful comments that nonbinary people are just closeted lesbians/gays?

anyway, yes, many traumas are gendered due to binaries designated by society and a misogynistic and men-restricting patriarchy (and many other factors that all play parts in this whole big system such as religion and the upper class), but traumas are traumas, and honestly shouldn’t be gendered, because they all overlap regardless, and can be experienced by anyone if the exact circumstances are met. that and every single trans experience is so unique and so so complex because gender in itself is an extremely unique and complex concept that it just cannot in any way be monitored or labelled into strict rules and laws and binaries.

every time i see a post on here about womanhood and daughter traumas and cis women’s misogynistic experiences and hell even a lot of lesbian traumas/experiences, i find myself completely and entirely relating to many of them every single time even though i am 100% a trans guy, and half grew up as a son. and i guess it’s just kind of weird but not so weird because sure while some days it just feels like im not calling myself a true trans guy, most days its just me validating and relating to an experience that i had that was unique to me and doesnt necessarily mean that im a woman because of it

because womanhood and manhood are temperaments, traits we are either born with or without, traits that are ever-changing and developing as we evolve generation by generation. anyone can pick up or be born with parts of womanhood and/or manhood. like that’s what makes all of us so unique, not a single one of us are alike in any way shape or form because of that. the combinations are always unlimited. so it’s just dumb seeing stuff like that gatekeeped. you cant Own an Experience like thats... what the hell is going on. every time its always the same thing, everyone’s always tryna play god in some way, be it mastering themselves, their own emotions and life, or controlling others, dictating what they think how certain things should be etc

it’s like that one post that’s like everything would be so much simpler if everyone was bi and nothing was gendered ghadjgdkgj

idk.. just.. to gender conceptual things like gender and traits and personalities and traumas is just so... unhelpful and unopen to change and not fluid whatsoever as theyre supposed to be. i dont wanna be all “nothing is real” abt it all but labels and binaries and decided systems and set laws are literally the reason, since the beginning of time, for wars and bigotry and oppression and poverty and the whole shebang. bc Someone decided one day that being a woman means this this and that, and being trans means that and this and that, and those meanings will be the basis we will rewrite occasionally and maybe add to, instead of completely scrapping our whole outdated initial ideas about it bla bla bla. 

im just tired gender is weird and stupid why are we arguing why are we so protective like just have a convo man rule with curiosity not adamancy and you’ll be sooo much happier trust me