#and peace of mind

[bettathanyou]

Cedric x Reader Having A Nightmare

Sponsored by me, who woke up to a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep so I wrote this lmao. Trigger warning for reference of childhood trauma and abuse

Hopefully y'all can get some better sleep than I could

"(y/n)...! You need to wake up!"

Cedric's voice called out to you from the inky blackness, the in-between place that lies within dreams and the waking world.

Your eyelids snapped opened as the remnants of your dream faded to the back of your subconscious. Your face was buried deeply in your pillow, and immediately you could feel the wetness of tears staining the pillowcase. You take in a sharp breath, exhaling shakily as you feel the weight of your nightmare clinging to your mind.

"...(y/n)?" Cedric calls your name again, more hesitant and lighter this time. You feel his hand curled around your arm, squeezing lightly.

You drag your cheek across the pillow, angling your face towards Cedric. His lean frame was propped up on his elbow, with his torso leaning towards you. Weak moonlight streamed from the balcony of Cedric's workshop, not enough for you to see past a few feet- but it was certainly enough to betray the look of heavy concern Cedric wore as he gazes down at you.

"..Are you alright?" He asks somberly, his voice having a lingering roughness from sleep.

You stare up at him in silence, trying in vain to find an answer that satisfies you. As you do so, you noticed Cedric's silver and ebony locks sticking out in all directions, with a stray lock of his white bangs falling into his eye.

It looks like he had just woken up himself.

"Did I wake you up?" You deflected his question with your own, your voice hoarse.

Cedric nodded, but before he could speak again an apology already left your lips.

"I'm sorry, love..." you trailed off, breaking eye contact for a moment in shame. You knew your nightmares could get bad, and for a while it was the reason you were afraid to fall asleep with the sorcerer. Even though you both have talked about this before, the instinctual need to apologize for the space you occupy always lashes out before any reasonable reaction.

Cedric shakes his head in response to your apology, brows furrowed in disapproval.

His hand leaves your arm, and instantly your heart aches from the withdrawal. Before you could mourn his touch further, however, his hand finds you again as he cups your face to meet his eyes once more.

"Don't apologize; it's okay."

Cedric's voice now sounded clearer, more awake now. His expression that previously held concern had since softened, and his honey eyes were devoid of any judgement or annoyance.

You weren't sure how to respond, except for a small nod of acknowledgement.

Even so, Cedric continues to hold you with his unwavering gaze, and with your cheek being captured in his palm, there was nowhere left for you to hide.

You felt scared for a moment- not of Cedric, but of the vulnerability it takes to look at him whenever old ghosts would haunt you like this. Some days it felt like if he looked close enough- or long enough, Cedric would find out how ugly and rotten those old wounds from your past really are, and how much they can fester. All the way down to your marrow.

Needing a way to channel your anxious energy, your hand automatically lands in Cedric's hair. Wordlessly, you begin to smooth down the rebellious strands of hair on Cedric's scalp. Your fingers tenderly untangle the silky strands, silently admiring the contrasting hues of white and black that slipped through your hand. Even though you've touched Cedric's hair a thousand times, and have looked at it double that amount, it never ceases to fill your heart with happiness.

Cedric knew quite well how you reach for anything in close proximity to fidget with when your nervous- his hair being a popular choice among them. While the idea of you being nervous made him nervous, he chose to close his eyes and let you work through his untamed bed head, giving a low hum of contentment at your touch.

If it helped you calm down, he certainly wouldn't complain.

After you are satisfied with your handiwork, you let your hand slide through his hair once more before splaying your hand across Cedric's cheek. His eyes flicked to yours briefly, their familiar warmth and love for you seeping through his eyelashes.

Immediately he turns his face to lean more into your hand, his nose practically buried in your palm. You break into a smile at the gesture, watching as Cedric covers your hand with his own. You caress his cheek with your thumb softly, and he returns your affection with his lips gently meeting against the soft skin of your wrist in a few soft kisses.

After a moment, Cedric breaks the silence between you.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He mumbles gently into your skin, shooting you a hesitant glance.

"I..." you drift off, momentarily blanking on the question. Cedric waits patiently for you to collect your thoughts, and you continue.

"I don't remember much, really- nightmares always fade fast, for me." You spoke quietly, glancing over at Cedric to gauge his reaction.

"What do you remember, if anything?" He asks, his face neutral.

You give a half hearted shrug, not really wanting to try and actively recall your dream.

"Just the end, I guess. All I remember is feeling like I had to- to get away; before I got hurt." You feel your pulse quicken as you hear yourself speak, your stomach twisting at the implications of your words.

"I see..." Cedric murmurs, nodding his head as your confession sinked in. You see the turmoil behind his carefully masked neutrality, and it eats a hole in your heart. You sigh deeply, trying to alleviate the weight that was settling in your chest.

"I've had plenty worse nightmares though- this one isn't too bad. I'll be alright." You offered, a weak attempt at consoling your partner.

Cedric only gives you an incredulous look in response, and you don't like the way his eyes cut through your bluff.

"You're safe here, (y/n). You know that, right?" Cedric asks, almost as if he was pleading.

"...I know." You pushed the words out slowly, almost grimacing from the effort it took to speak. You know objectively what Cedric says is true, but even still your body refuses to fully believe it.

Cedric noticed your discomfort immediately, and shifted his body closer to yours. His arm gently snakes around your waist, then nudges at your back; his soft brown eyes asking for silent permission to hold you close.

You respond by dipping your face into the crook of Cedric's neck, your arms swiftly embracing him and holding his torso in a tight squeeze. In turn, Cedric pulls you tightly against his chest, lithe arms cradling you like a precious jewel. Your heart feels comforted in Cedric's arms, and the warmth of his body helps your muscles relax into his form.

Taking in a deep breath, you inhale his scent deeply- the smell of petrichor, dried herbs and the sweet musk of old books making you believe, for a moment, in his words that promised you safety.

Cedric mirrors you, and you feel his chest rise as his takes in a deep breath. His breath is warm against you as he exhales in a long sigh, helping you feel grounded.

You both lay in a comforting silence, listening to each other breath. After a while, you almost don't notice how each of your breathing has finally fallen into sync.

"Cedric?" You speak his name hesitantly, cringing at your voice cutting through the silence.

"Hm?" The sorcerer responds, feeling his voice vibrate through you.

"Thank you, for waking me up," you start, your fingers fidgeting with the fabric of his night shirt.

"Of course, darling." Cedric rubs your back for a second as he responds, and suddenly you remember the pleading look as he told you that you were safe.

"And- I know that I'm safe, I promise. It's just... hard getting used to it." You admitted with a heavy sigh.

Cedric stays silent for a moment, and each second you grow worried that you somehow upset him. As you start to move your head to look up at him, Cedric speaks, stopping you in your tracks.

"I know it's hard- trust me, I do." Cedric enunciates, and your mind wanders to the things he had to go through to empathize with your statement. You squeeze his body in comfort, signalling that you understood what he meant.

"One day though, you're going to wake up and realize you can't remember the last time you had a nightmare." Cedric says with conviction, and you almost want to believe it. You scoff into his chest, amused but not convinced.

"I know, it's hard to believe. It'll be so subtle, you'd almost miss it." Cedric lets out a dry chuckle, gazing down at you with a complicated look.

"Just... give it time, love." Cedric finished, kissing your head affectionately.

"That's about all I can do." You said with a sigh, nuzzling him; but you had a smile on your lips regardless.

With your conversation now at a close, you both eventually drifted off to an undisturbed sleep; devoid of nightmares, but full of love and care for one another.

[curiousity-cell]

i think the thing that irritates me the most about how the fandom treats elain is that it is having an effect on those characters for me. like i can’t stand lucien anymore because i know behind a potential lucien stan is blatant misogyny. same as gwyn. i didn’t care for her in the first place but i actively dislike her character now.

the worst part is i don’t WANT to dislike these characters. but they’ve been tainted because of the elain slander and that’s ruined them for me. don’t come at me with “you could just ignore them” because i’ve seen at least 6 different abysmal takes today all revolving around how gwyn is better than elain / how elain needs to leave the night court and at some point enough is enough.

i’ve tried the positive approach but clearly it’s not working. i’m tired of watching elriels have to bend over backwards to make our theories or characters insights/analysis more palatable for them. when have they ever returned the favour. when have they ever respected elain enough to be gentle with their takes about her.

i’m sorry. i know this is a little toxic of a post from me. but i’m so frustrated. it just makes me so fucking SAD watching them go after her for no reason other than being in the way of their ship / not being the perfect mate to bring their ship to life.

[queerwhohatesithere]

so she took invisible string off and replaced it with the 1? that’s pretty much confirmation🙃

[chenfordsbby]

What is this blog?

Clearly, nobody is going to follow or interact with me, but that's okay! As we just entered our summer hiatus and we truly don't know how long it is actually going to be given the timeline on the writers strike (we support our writers!!!!) I figured for my own sanity and peace of mind I am going to start over from the beginning and do a binge watch of the series! Every season, every episode! Episode by episode I am going to dive deep into it not only as a whole episode but breakdown every aspect of #Chenford in each of these episodes and naturally watch their progression from enemies, to friends and ultimately to lovers! I'm no one special so if you're gonna stick around with me as I go through this journey that's really freaking great- so if you're ready, lets "Get in The Shop" ;)

[pommy-granite]

my neuro is soo divergent today tic toc tic toc tic toc

[mellosghosts]

that one the pacifier 2005 scene but it's laura annoying logan just a few days before he fucking dies

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Cleansing my palette, because I'm going out, and I'd like to have some fun with my parents ❤️

She's giving Alpine, and I'm here for it!

Spider kitty

[urloveangel]

my favourite anti-aging methods are inner peace, forgiveness and minding my business

[aiburr]

monsters can go to the surface (twitter), but the night vale residents cannot/don't want to get out of town (tumblr)

[stanngeddon]

fate swap AU i came up with and is making me sob A LOT

(more under the cut!!)

a few weeks before the incident with stan and ford in actual canon (while fiddleford was still there) stanley was invited by ford to be another test subject for the portal test. he was at first reluctant because he had to be part of something he didn't understand whatsoever, but ended up driving to ford's lab anyhow so he could just see ford again. dummy was still wrapped to his wrist, and like fiddleford in gf canon, he was pulled in for a short moment, with ford yanking him out and fiddleford watching. after being told what he already knows (that he doesn't understand, he's not smart, etc.) by a manipulated twin brother he was yelled at to leave, but came across the memory gun and the blueprints in the process of exiting the lab. maybe a little peace of mind wouldn't be so bad. just a little peace of mind

stan would steal the memory gun, run away from the lab, and disappear. until he's found as an old, tired, unrecognizable amnesiac many years later

by this time, and though he never saw what stan saw in there, fiddleford knew the portal was dangerous. he travelled to hide ford's journals away from him when he wasn't watching until he was caught in the portal room taking the first journal to hide it. lots of shoving, arguing, lever flicking and yelling about ford's twin brother later, fiddleford broke and told ford "he was the one with a sickness". one last hefty push from ford had fidds slowly lift into the air and get sucked into the portal before ford's eyes. fidds would brew over his concern and anger towards ford in the 30 years it took to get back

ford has no friends no brother and no money. he had to succumb to turning his now cold empty lab into a tourist trap full of fake science to keep a roof over his head and the portal, still worried fidds was out there. bill grew tired, bored, mad over the years as it looked like to him ford was "throwing away" his life for a quick buck. there wasn't even fun in possessing him anymore, there was nothing in it for him. so bill would leave, settle with more deals, but let ford live to know that he had no worth to him or anyone anymore. ford can still see that demon in his nightmares, and visions of stan and fidds suffering manifested by him

[madamemiz]

saw a post recently about the sun and moon fandom and how non-selfship content is rare, and how that's frustrating, and it struck me, like... how rare that is. genuinely in all my 20ish years in online spaces, i've never seen a fandom that not only welcomed selfship but actively encourages it, when usually the rule of thumb is that it's tolerated at best and despised at worst

so why is this fandom so selfship centric?

the answer is a combination of factors, of course, but I think it was mostly just a perfect storm of the right character with the right traits at the right time. many people between about 23 and 33 were and still are experiencing intense childhood nostalgia that's being perpetuated by online culture and various media, often through a distorted or slightly unsettled lense. the daycare attendant is fun! they're childish, but decidedly not children. they're not human, unattainable in reality, but plausible enough in the age of ai that they make you ponder. they make you long to nap and play and color and do all the whimsical things you wish you could take a week off from your dull job and do! but there's something... off about them. an element of danger that's intriguing. they're dangerous, but what if they aren't to you specifically? or, if they are, what if they overcame that, just for you? what if you were worth it?

people our age are lonely, and if not, often working through issues they didn't have time to contemplate in their teens and early 20s because they were still living throigh the issues. younger people too, of course, but it's especially rampant in the aforementioned age group. past college and college friends, too caught up in work to make new ones. if the dca really clicked with you as a character, it's kind of fun to imagine what it would be like to hang out with them. what if they were your friend? what if they were more?

which leads to my last point--cringe is dead and we stomped on its corpse

maybe it started with a few people drawing a y/n with the dca, and wow the art is cute! who's the cute jester character? ... is that a self-insert? huh. and then more people join in. is that allowed? yes! and the crowd cheers for it too! the right people drawing the right character dynamics at the right moment, drawing others like a moths to a strange robotic flame

ultimately, the fandom attracts so much selfship because that's the bedrock, the foundation the rest of the fandom built its home on. almost all of the common tropes and characterization have roots in selfship fic and art. the dca's popularity very much kicked off from that, and seeing other people using them as an outlet for their loneliness, friendship, romantic or sexual desires, or even just for creative character and plot setups that are only tangentially related to canon actively encouraged others to join in, in a way that could only happen while riding the funerary coattails of cringe culture

it's very much a lightning in a bottle fandom, the likes of which i doubt we'll see again for a while

[numenrecords]

[raycatz]

Affirmations Four and get it together Four

[madwomansapologist]

i really don’t like when writers give too much personality and backstory to y/n. isn’t it supossed to be a self insert?

not my fault you’re not imaginative + if you don’t like the way i write, you can read something else

[a-path-by-the-moon]

[dkettchen]

she would've told them unlike her canon! version who decided not to be an ally smh