#and patton gets to say the iconic line-

[muppetable]

light side dark side swap au where roman is the “evil twin” and he’s just this mf

[wolfprincesszola]

The Fate of the Marked Six Chapter 9

still busy asf to the point where these updates may be later on in the day but enjoy <3. as always, reblogs and likes are appreciated! ——————– Summary: Virgil moves into a new town and meets Roman, a ghost that he promises to help in finding the unfinished business needed to pass over. However, Roman's past seemed to be deeply muddled with trouble, an uncurable disease that has started to affect a classmate, and a certain tight-lipped valedictorian. Friendships are made and Virgil finds himself thrown into a situation far more complicated and twisted than he signed up. Hopefully, with the help of his new five friends, he can find a way to bring peace to the town once and for all.

Trigger Warning: None

Content Warning: Swearing

<Masterlist>

<Previous> <Next> ——————–

Chapter 09

Patton was sitting on his couch with Logan.How did the two get there? He didn’t know.

They were watching a movie. What movie? He couldn’t tell you because he was too focused by Logan leaning his head against his chest. He had his arm around him. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest, almost praying that Logan couldn’t hear it. What was happening? Why was he so comfortable with him? Why was he so nervous around him?

The movie said something that was almost incomprehensible if it wasn’t for the iconic line that was said. “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Patton looked down at Logan, who at the same time, looked up at Patton. Then, Logan smiled. Not the smile he often gave to Patton when he was annoyed or tired. Not the smile he faked for professions in front of others. It was a genuine smile that he had never seen his do. It was a smile that caused his eyes to crinkle at the side and a smile that showed his teeth. Logan's laughter rang in Patton's ears and Patton was addicted to the sound. Although it was the first time he heard it, he promised himself he would make it his life goal to hear it every chance he got.

His heart skipped as soon as he saw the smile, but what really got him was the look in Logan's eyes. He had never seen Logan look at someone like that before. Logan looked at Patton with pure love, as if he would never love anyone else the way he did Patton.

Then, Patton sat up in bed. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he groaned, staring at his bed. It was just a dream. That was all it was going to be, and he waved it off. Whatever that was, it was weird, and something that would never come true. He didn’t even like Logan like that.

-+=~=+-

"Hi Remus!" Patton smiled, seeing Remus approach Virgil and him.

"Hey, Patton. Still got that bitch up your asshole?"

Patton let confusion roam his face, "I don't have a dog up my butthole..."

"No, he's talking about Logan." Virgil sighed, rubbing his temples, "Remus, Patton's too innocent to get that type of joke."

"I'll just keep making jokes until they stick." Remus grinned as the three started walking to their first period, which they all had together.

“Uh huh.” Virgil drawled out, “Did you guys do the math homework?”

“Not at all.” Remus snorted, “That’s what first period is for. To do the math homework.”

“I did.” Patton offered, “Just not well. I don’t know what I was thinking when I did it because I calculated 2 + 2 to be 27.”

“Oh jeez, I’m stuck with the dumb people--no offense, Pat. I’m going to go ask Janus.” Virgil moved towards the boy, leaving Remus and Patton to be alone in the hallways together.

Patton hesitated on the topic of Remus, as he had known something was going on behind the scenes. Still, he asked, hoping that for once, Remus wouldn't say anything inappropriate.

“How are you doing?” Patton asked Remus, “You seem…on edge recently.”

"I'm fine! In fact, I thought the other day about how Woody should've said there was a snake up his butthole because that would've been funnier."

Yep. That was on Patton for assuming Remus was going to be serious.

"Really?"

Then, the facade crumbled from Remus' face and Patton saw a side of the boy he had never seen before. This side of Remus seemed more vulnerable, more honest. "Honestly? I haven't been feeling too great. I’ve been hearing some things that I don’t know if they are real or fake. No one has any clear answers, and I feel like if I tell anyone that doesn’t have powers, they’ll just think I’m insane.”

"Oh, Remus. The people you surround yourself with love you. There's nothing you could say to make your friends think you're insane. I mean I already think it's insane that I live in a world where everyone has powers except for a select few. I think you're already insane for half the stuff you say, but I'm not going anywhere."

Remus was surprised by that answer by the sheer mouth agape he had. He pushed his mouth to close before he let himself catch up to Patton, "Record scratch? Patton admits he thinks I'm insane."

"Of course in a good way!" Patton tried to correct himself, "I think it's crazy that you have powers overall!"

“You…know I have powers?” Remus asked.

“Why, of course! I told you that I know when others have powers already." Patton giggled, “You just gotta know what you look for in the auras of magic people, and then you know when someone doesn’t or has powers.”

"Then doesn't that mean that you have magic?"

"Don't be silly. I haven't shown any signs of it."

"Logan told me that only magic users know when other users have magic.”

Patton thought about it before shrugging, "I don't know, kiddo. I know Logan's so smart and everything, but I think I would know if I had magic. I mean look at me. I don’t have anything magic in me.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, but waved it off, deciding he would tell Patton what else has been bothering him. “Apparently, there’s a ghost that’s following me around.”

“Oh? Is it the ghost that’s Virgil’s friend?” Patton raised an eyebrow.

“You know he’s a medium?”

“I mean, it was pretty obvious.”

Remus scoffed, “Moving on, it’s not Virgil’s friend, but…I’m just on edge. I don’t know what to do and how to help myself.”

“Ah, I see.” Patton sighed, staring at Remus, “I think, right now, you’re stressing yourself too much.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. You’re saying that Virgil’s handling it?”

“Yeah.”

“Then trust him.” Patton gave Remus a small smile right as the warning bell rang, “Now come on, let’s go to class before we’re late.”

-+=~=+-

Patton walked into his 3rd period, only to be met with the sweet smell of hot chocolate and marshmallows.

“Welcome, welcome! Take your seats!” His teacher yelled at the front of the class, with a lot of mugs of hot chocolate at the front.

“That smells so good.” Janus groaned, “I really hope he gives us the mugs. I’d love one.”

“Me too.” Patton murmured as he sat down at the table he shared with Janus.

He sat down, staring at the hot chocolate.

All of a sudden, Logan walked through the door, a timid smile on his face. The feelings he felt after the dream he had during the weekend rushed back to him, as he remembered every detail he dreamed of. His heart dropped as he stared at Logan.

Shit.

“Hey, Mr. Lonesins, did you still want me to drop off the boxes over here?”

“Oh yes, Logan, thank you so much.”

Logan nodded, “It’s my pleasure.”

Before he could leave to grab the boxes though, Patton called Logan over, “Sanders!”

Logan looked towards the sound of his voice, walking over, “What do you want, Morris? I can’t physically give you another hour of detention, when you have yet to make up the last 20.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you had a third period.”

“Unlike you, I arrive at my third period early. I TA, and since I had no work, he said I should come over here to help.” Logan rolled his eyes, “Now focus on the class and maybe if you’re good, I’ll give you extra marshmallows.”

“You're my favorite person, Lo.” Patton gasped in excitement, brushing the flush on his face as just redness from the cold when Logan left.

“You’re being weird today.” Janus remarked, but said nothing else. Patton was glad that he didn’t bring anything else up when Patton didn't even know what was going on.

The entire class period, he found himself blushing at the sight of Logan, and had to look away every time he made eye contact with him.

At the end of the lesson, Patton found oddly messy notes, unlike what he usually took. Logan came by at the end of the class period to help pass out the mugs, and after he finished, he asked who wanted extra marshmallows, immediately everyone raised their hands, and Logan went over to Patton first.

“Since you were good.” Logan remarked, giving him three extra ones before passing the other ones out, only giving them two.

“You’re special.” Janus smirked at him.

Oh stars, he really hoped he wasn’t.

-+=~=+-

“So…you’ve been weird. What’s going on?” Virgil asked, on their walk towards the cafeteria. Having Janus and Remus always be there early to get his lunch meant that he could always wait for Patton who was in the classroom right across from him.

“What do you mean?”

“Janus has noticed it too. He told me you were being super smiley today, and not annoying Logan as much as you normally do.”

Patton flushed, “Okay, maybe I just think that he could use a break from me bugging him.”

“But you’re Patton Morris, the infamous class clown.”

“Infamous?”

“Infamous, in Logan’s view. Famous for everyone else.”

“Ah. Makes sense….I don’t know. I think it was that I had a talk with him, and a part of me felt bad that he knew so much about me, but I don’t know anything about him.”

“It’s okay. I don’t think anyone knows a lot about him….but honestly? I think you’re lying to me, and even yourself. Are you sure there’s no other underlying reason?”

“No.” Patton was fast to assert it.

“Wow, feisty today.” Virgil remarked, “Come on, even if you can’t trust anyone, don’t you think it’d be nice to get it off your chest?”

Patton sighed before snapping, an idea coming to fruition, “You know what I can do? Tell your ghost friend, Roman.”

It was a good idea. It would give Patton a chance to let it off his chest, but not to tell someone that knew him personally.

“What?” Virgil raised an eyebrow, “You can’t even see him. You wouldn’t even know if he’s here right now.”

“The problem is the thing that’s haunting my thoughts right now is the thing I can’t tell people who know anyone in this high school. Your friend doesn’t.” Patton spoke, hoping that Virgil might believe him. Patton wouldn't even know how to start talking about his issue even if he could talk to Virgil about it.

Was he falling in love with Logan after just one dream? Was love too strong of a word? What was Logan to Patton?

It made his brain hurt.

Virgil sighed, “Fine, I’ll set up a meeting…as long as you tell me all you got on Roman, because I remembered you promising me that you’d find resources on who he might be.”

“Yeah, so good news and bad news.”

“What?”

“No one shows up with the whole Roman 'died a few months ago’ and ‘has a brother’ Sanders, but interesting enough, there’s no results of him dying a few months ago. There were more than 10 Roman Sanders who had a brother, but I didn’t want to look through all their information. Then, I remembered who else’s last name is Sanders and had a brother, and started working backwards from him.”

“Logan? I thought of him too, but it just doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t talk about his brother, but Logan's brother is 4 years older and Logan talks about him like he didn’t die. Besides, he's adopted or something.” Virgil remarked. "I learned about it through context clues."

Patton seemed to come to a revelation, “He’s adopted!”

It caused everyone else to look at him weirdly, and Virgil pulled his hood over his face in embarrassment from the attention.

“Yeah, so I look at our one and only Logan, and find out that in his family, he has had a brother named Roman Sanders. Roman died almost 4 years ago, and he died when he was 17, a few months before he was supposed to graduate with a high school diploma at this school. He was the valedictorian, but just a few months ago, an exhibit at the art museum was dedicated to him as an exhibit. A statue in the park was built for him months after he died. Then, I go back to the Roman Sanders, instead only checking the Romans who died in the past ten years, and jackpot, I find only 3. Only two of them have brothers, and only one of them died at a young age, as I’m assuming you aren’t really talking about an 80-year-old. That one Roman is the boy that stands at the legacy of this school with the personality of a sun.” Patton grinned triumphantly.

“So what you’re saying is that we’re dealing with having to talk to the most difficult person to open up and talk about his brother, who he forbade us from talking about?”

“Well…when you say it like that-“

“That’s what I thought. We’re going to have a bit more trouble then.” Virgil gave a sharp inhale.

“Sorry, kiddo. That's all I can do.” Patton shrugged.

“No, it’s okay. Thank you for finding all this out anyways.” Virgil sighed.

Patton nodded, as they walked into the cafeteria, “Listen, I’ll try to weasel as much information out of our valedictorian as much as possible.”

“Uh huh, good luck with that.”

-+=~=+-

Patton was sitting at the lunch tables after school when a composition notebook hit the back of his head hard. It made a sound and he let out an audible “OW!” despite not being hurt in the slightest.

He turned towards the person who hit him only for them to walk over to the front of him, slamming the composition notebook down.

“Stop being weird.”

Patton blinked, still rubbing the back of his head as he looked at the person. It was Logan and he didn’t look too amused with him.

“Sorry?”

“Stop being weird.” Logan repeated again, sitting on the other side of the table from him.

Patton looked at the composition book to see at the top it said “Patton Morris” in Logan’s neat handwriting.

“How am I being weird? You're the one that hit me in the head with a notebook, Logan! What is this?”

Logan huffed, flipping open the book to a page that was clearly the most referenced page. At the top, it was labeled “Statistics” and Patton scanned through the rest of the information quickly.

Logan pointed to a couple of the lines, “You, on average, pass by me 12 times a day. You, on average, call out my name upon passing me 9 times a day. You, on average, have 19 interactions with me. You, on average, manage to annoy me 5 of the interactions we have. Even on good days, you bring those numbers to 12, 20, 9, and 3.”

“Okay?” Patton raised an eyebrow.

“Today, you have passed by me 15 times, and have called my name once. Even in the three interactions we’ve had today, you haven’t even spoken a word about what you normally would annoy me about.”

“Do you miss it? I mean I can-”

“No. It’s not the same when you try to annoy me because you think you’re acting weird. It’s never been the same!” Logan huffed, flipping to another page, that clearly tracked all the days he was being off and the reason why.

“Why do you care?” Patton snorted, “I thought you hated me annoying you.”

“I do! That’s what doesn’t make sense.” Logan groaned, standing up and starting to pace around, “Every fiber of my being despises you with a passion. I get so mad when I think of everything you do, and how you always are making me clean up your messes. I think I’m done with everything you do, and yet I can’t shake the feeling that maybe you’re not so bad! You do things like staying to help me clean up my mess, and yell at the hallways to stop talking shit about people they don’t know, and you genuinely respect me, which is something I don’t get from most parents, adults, and students. It frustrates me that you make me feel this way, that I hate you, but I also am the furthest thing from an enemy. Just…tell me what’s going on, so I can just mark it off as another weird day, and then I won’t have to stay awake at night, wondering what I did wrong or what happened with your life, so I can just pretend like things are okay.”

“Lo-” Patton began before Logan interrupted him again, going to sit down to interrogate him.

“Is this because you don’t know anything about me? Is it because I don’t open up about my brother? Is this because of my parents? What is it?”

Patton stared as he watched the boy freak out about the idea of not having Patton talk to him for a day, and a part of Patton got closure of where he stood with Logan. He just let out a laugh.

“What?” Logan stopped his ranting to stare at Patton.

“You’re kinda obsessed with me, aren’t you?”

Logan made a face, scowling, “What are you talking about?”

“Normal people don’t have composition books marking everything I’ve ever done to you.”

“Oh, don’t think you’re so special. I have folders on everyone I’ve interacted with in the school too.” Logan crossed his arms.

“Normal people don’t have that either.” Patton chuckled endearingly. “Normal people also don’t get driven crazy by someone not talking to them, or not annoying them.”

“I’ve always been told I’m not normal.” Logan mumbled, looking away.

“You’re being a little too obsessive right now. I’m fine.” Patton smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder, “I’m just trying a different method of being your friend right now, and it seems like it’s driving you crazy, so maybe I’ll go back.”

“No, no, I kinda like this better.” Logan shook his head, “It’s just that….you really helped me out through my toughest times. I hated how annoying you kept being, but that sense of familiarity really helped me during a time of change where everything around me shifted. I don’t think I’m ready to let go of the only thing keeping me sane yet, and I guess I’m scared that you’re going to stop being my frenemy.”

“I won’t ever stop.” Patton promised him.

“Thank you.” Logan gave a weak smile.

“So…was that your first time being vulnerable and not robotic?"

“It’s so hard.” Logan groaned, slumping in the picnic tables, “My obsessive thinking kept my mind running all day, and it’s tiring.”

“Awe, I was in your mind all day.” Patton teased.

“Shut it, Morris.”

Patton looked at Logan, who seemed almost relieved that Patton was talking to him again. Patton hesitated with his next words, making sure to think about them carefully.

“...you mentioned your brother, but you never like to talk about him. What happened?”

Logan’s face shifted to a melancholic expression, “...he died four years ago, and I have yet to forgive myself for letting him die.”

“Oh come on, you couldn’t have known that he would’ve died.”

“But I did.” Logan sat up, “I have the powers of precognition and months before he died, I kept having the same recurring nightmare of him driving and being hit by a drunk driver. Even an hour beforehand, I had the nightmare, and I told my parents, but they just waved it off. I don’t think my parents looked so angry after they found out my brother died.”

“Oh, Logan...you were what? 13 years old at the time? You couldn’t have possibly been asked to understand at that young age what it felt like to lose someone, who I’m guessing was really important to you.”

“He was so important to me.” Logan murmured, “I remember I spent the following two years after he died just trying to do everything I could towards safe driving, and donating all of his stuff. He said he wanted to make a difference in the world, so…I tried to make his wishes come true.”

“Have you ever tried to contact him through a medium?”

“I researched everything there was to be about ghosts, but I knew that a medium couldn’t do much if he wasn’t a ghost near this area. Most mediums are people who can see the ghosts around them. Besides, when he died, he and I were in a fight. I doubt that even if I wanted to find my brother, he would want the same.” Logan’s eyes portrayed a sense of hurt and regret that he had been clearly holding in for a long time, “I just…wish I had more time with him. I was adopted when I was 6. I wasn’t close with him until I was 8. I barely even got 5 years with him.”

Patton saw tears prick the edges of Logan's eyes for the first time and he was left speechless without words. Still, he forced something out, his voice hoarse, "I'm sorry."

“He’s the reason I’m the valedictorian now. I thought that maybe, I could fill the hole in my parents’ hearts. I thought maybe I’d get to know him more if I became the valedictorian. Except I don’t. Now, all I feel is emptiness. I feel more disconnected with him now than before. I stopped feeling sad or angry or anything really. for my brother and for my life"

“What would you give to see him again? Just at least once.”

“Everything.” Logan whispered and Patton knew what he had to do.

Logan stood up, grabbing the composition notebook, sighing, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Patton. Promise me you won’t be weird?”

“I’ll try my best.” Patton remarked.

Logan was cute, maybe even handsome. He was smart, and funny. he was genuine to Patton, and even when he was vulnerable, Logan still trusted Patton with all the information he normally wouldn’t trust anyone with. Although Logan was obsessive with his actions, maybe Patton could look past it. However, until he found out what he really felt with Logan (whether the dream awoke the hidden crush or the dream instigated the crush), he was fine with learning to be kinder to the boy who had been nothing but kind to him all these years. ——————– Logicality at its finest everyone <3. i feel like this is the closest these characters are going to get to canon because Logan's not really emotional but he's smart enough to know the patterns of everyone while Patton's emotional, but he really knows how to dodge feeling those difficult feelings. Hope you guys enjoy and I promise you that things will continue to go in a direction you probably wouldn't have expected them to go~

If you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging! Reblogging helps me a lot and are very appreciated. Check out my masterlist for more, feel free to request any writings, and stick around if you want to see the rest of what I have in store for this! :)

[rotating-pebbles]

okAY can we talk about this special

cw newest sanders sides spoilers

just some things i noticed

-Roman was SO SAD in this video

>"and i'll be the son!" "whose only dream is to...Be a star.." Roman said that last line so depressingly (grammar). Does he not just want to be seen as the side who only wants Thomas to be the star? Is he becoming more aware of how egotistical he can be? Although he did start off normally (i loved that sm)

>"patton" grimace. "and logan" less of a grimace "and,,,virgil!" big happy, geniune not-just-for-show smile. So, he's still holding a grudge against Patton which is understandable. Logan though? Is he angry at him for siding with Janus too? I feel like it's going to end up with everyone else trying to reason with virgil and roman or something

-Roman was so ICONIC in this video

>pissy

>The freaking opening of his bit was GOLD

>He loves Nico so much omggg

>The energy is stunning we love to see it go off queen

>"Who broke this vase???" this remains my favourite sanders sides bit ever so far

>Stock images=iconic

>please dont kill remus he'll probably love it

>the beef with janus 👀

"oh i regret not throwing paper at logan first"

-Logan was such a sassy bitch and we love to see it

>Should we be concerned about the amount of wine he consumed in those few minutes? He was literally holding a salad bowl before straight up holding the bottle with ���class✨

>Logan you can't deny your mom title

>"not our most feminist moment" YHRCYUBTEC

>*long ramble* "my point is i dont think we deserve an anniversary"

>Logan calling Thomas out for the listening yes please

>validating virgil=you have feelings dude

-Patton was the softest little puffball we got but also angsty??

>proud papa x100

>please dont cry

>PUPPY

>overprotective dad? inner resentment? scared of change? listening to janus?,,, "Nico,,,,seems like a nice guy" You seem very hesitant there sweetie is there something you'd like to tell us

>still glossing over mistakes by changing topic to ice cream? relatable and would love to see a boys night but you gotta stop padre

>we applaud the energy levels

-Janus being Janus but +100 confidence levels

>Janus shared stuff and t e c h n i c a l l y part of the group=even MORE self confident i can feel it oozing off him through the screen

>the s a s s oh g o d the s a s s just can o even pick a quote? just the whole time

>Logan wins the wine drinking this time sorry

>The fandom already dubbed you the wine aunt you just accepted it and now everyone's going crazy

>Ah yes e v i l p l a n s yes ofc

>Let us see the hamster

>*casually sprays remus with soap* *Remus accepted it and drinking it*

>those character evaluations *chefs kiss* nothing more but excited to see some crazy deep theories of t h o s e

>DIGUISED AS PATTON????? AGAIN??? YOU'VE GROWN?? WE LOVE IT BUT YOUR SCARING THOMAS HUN

>snazzy dance moves my guy

-Remus,,,need i say more?

>REMUS SAID HONEY REMUS SAID HONEY REMUS SAID HONEY spending too much time around Janus perhaps??

>I love that he's now officialy the cool jail uncle

> "see i'm roman! get my better side~" icon

>fan-artists take notes now we know where his embylum is

>ah what lovely brotherly bonding

>Remus stop trying to k!ll yourself in this video wtf put the soap d o w n

>no spoilers >:(

>calling thomas out abt mindpalace (i'd love to see what remus has done with the place)

>very true is there a correct way to sit? the gays would agree

>snazzy dance moves my guy

-Virgil was unusually energetic yet still edgy

>emo cousin? i can agree with that but would that make remus his dad and patton your uncle, or patton your dad and remus your uncle we need answers people

>thats sure one long list you got there,,,

>WHY DID HE HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY TODAY JESUS CHRIST MAN FROM THE OPENING TO THE QUESTIONS

>he got so mad about the makeup comment please also what a great use of swear words

> you got it spot on now i require someone to marry me in space with gandalf and dumbledore

>oh yeah he d i d egg on the falsehood thing a true hero

>everyone:hands him affection him:ew what am i supposed to do with it

>so he likes being a puppet i can respect that

>WHEN HE MENTIONED 'LIES' AND JANUS HAD A TANTRUM IT KILLED ME I LOVE JANUS/VIRGIL INTERACTIONS

-Orage side revealed 😱

>he's patton's snack 😳

-c!thomas (and thomas) getting us all to doubt everything about the entire series for a split second /lh

>he's a great interviewer and definately doesnt almost fall off chairs

>oOOOOOooOoOoOo you liiiiiiike him you're blushinnnng seriously he were so flustered when roman beought up nico and i can understand that for him

>he's so terrified/annoyed at janus and remus that its funny

>dont mention the word... callback >:o

>"no not a literal hand"

>we love and and are proud of you

-The new series trailer

>HOLY FUCK HOLY COW OH GOD THAT'S KINDA GAY THE ANIMATION THE CHARACTERS THEY ALL LOOK SO PRETTY OH GOD OH JEEZ I'M SO PAN I'M SO EXCITED

>d&d style thing? roleplaying? i love it

and thats all i got, please add on!

[count-woe-laf]

You can’t spell stargaze without gays

I write? Since when? Yes I’m aware the title makes no sense, I’m uncreative. This was supposed to be a late birthday present for @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink but it’s super late now, I still enjoyed writing it and planning it with her, I hope you’re having a great day, Silver. I’m sorry I got science facts wrong and I don’t know how to end things or how normal people talk

Logan and Virgil are hopeless pining gay idiots with horrible communication skills, but they’re working on it. (Romantic analogical, very background royality and platonic dukeceit.) 1850 words

"Bring me a diet coke!" Virgil called to Roman as he ran out of the truck, through the gravel parking lot, and towards the bright 7/11.

Logan let out a small laugh from next to him. "You know he's going to spend an hour flirting with the cashier and forget."

"Yeah I know, it's fine. Surprising that he's moved up from panicking around Patton to flirting with him, that's what I call character development."

"Character development that's gone on for ten too many seasons."

"True. But while he's in there I have more time to spend with you," Virgil replied with a smirk, Logan's cheeks reddening.

"You all are disgusting," called Remus from the backseat.

"I agree," Janus sighed. "Though I can do many things, understanding allos is not one of them."

"Then get out of my truck," Virgil jokingly glared into the rearview mirror.

"It's Roman's truck-" Logan started, Virgil shifted his glare towards him. "Ok yeah, get out."

"Think we can find bigfoot, Jan?"

"We're only half an hour away from the city, try again," but Janus let himself be dragged out into the nearby forest.

Logan and Virgil were left alone, thoughts of what had gone on the past week between them running through their heads. The hand brushes, the late night phone calls, the hoodies, the excessive amount of feelings that for once, neither of them minded. There was always more to say though.

"You can see lots of stars from out here," Virgil commented rather nervously. "You should come outside with me and look at them."

It was an offering just for Logan. He was the only one allowed to stargaze with Virgil while others were flirting in a 7/11 and being chaotic in a forest. Logan and Virgil in the bed of a truck staring at the night sky. ...Well, one of them was looking at the stars.

"You know to stargaze you actually have to look at them, right? You can just look at me, V."

"Who's saying you're not a star? 'Cause you definitely are, love."

"Love?" Logan tilted his head towards Virgil's red face.

"Uh-" Virgil looked away quickly. "What is that constellation? It looks like a spoon."

"Do you seriously not know? That's the big dipper, it's part of the constellation ursa major."

"You're the science-y one here, how would I know?" Logan just sighed. "You should keep talking though, I love your voice."

"Oh… Well that's the northern star…"

"Why is it called that?"

"Um, it's the most northern star, I believe astronomers base things off of it."

Virgil snoted, "wow. Star dudes sure are creative."

Logan looked over, an indescribable emotion on his face. "Pardon me, but did you just call astronomers, 'star dudes'?"

Virgil stared back, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Star. Dudes."

"...I will defenestrate you."

"Oh?"

"Do you even know what that means?"

"Yeah," Virgil said. "It means you pick me up and I get to simp over your muscles."

"It also means I throw you out of a window."

"I'll take what I can get." Logan let out a fond sigh. "Ok 'cause your constellations are boring and factual- don't worry I still love them- but I'm telling stories now."

"You're going to kill me."

"In your dreams, babe."

"What's that supposed to-"

"Over there is Elenor, it kinda looks like a bunny, I know. Their boyfriend is Jesse over there-"

"Virgil I swear, I'm leaving you in the forest." Logan's words gave a much different meaning when he was struggling to keep in his laugh.

Virgil chucked. "Oh Logan, so naive, there's so much more. Those three stars? Yeah they're Bo Peep's sheep."

Logan choked, the statement taking him by surprise. "Excuse me? You can't just…"

"Y'know, from Toy Story? Doesn't she have three sheep or something? I swear that was a plot point in one of the movies."

"The threat of being thrown out of a window still stands, Virge." 

"Good, now that star over there…"

"Her name is Jennifer, she got a constellation for making the best bean salad."

Virgil tried to hold in a laugh. "And what did you say that one was?"

Logan was so enamoured with Virgil's laugh that he almost didn't notice him intertwining their fingers. Almost. He still had to take a breath to regain his nearly non-existent composure. Although fifteen minutes couldn't have passed, Logan could tell that it was a good decision to accept Roman's offer for a fake road trip.

"That guy with the belt?" Logan continued. "He was the first person to invent clothes. Quite the fashion icon for his time."

"Oh yeah?" Virgil giggled and Logan's heart stuttered in his chest.

"Yeah, he was also the only straight man in his village. It was very controversial." Virgil hummed in response, trying to calm his laughter.

"We're pretty controversial."

"What do you mean by that?"

"We're lying in the bed of Roman's truck, well past midnight and the city limits, looking at stars. Janus and Remus are probably lost in the forest and Roman and Patton have probably gotten over their gay panic and are planning their wedding together."

"I'm not sure how that's controversial, but it is interesting that we've achieved nothing compared to them." Logan's eyes drifted back to the stars.

"I think not getting lost is a plus." He made a noise of agreement. "And uh… I know we're not as vocal about stuff like the others but… Dating you wouldn't be bad." It came out more like a question, causing Logan to look back at him.

"Fuck- I mean-" Virgil ran a hand down his face. "It would actually be really really nice if I could be your boyfriend because- ugh stop staring at me like that! It's just that you're really great and nice to be around and to talk to and I can't imagine you not being in my life. A-and I know we've been kinda sorta dating but you know how dumb we both are about romance and all that stuff- oh god this is romance, I can't believe that…

"I just really like you, Logan and I need to make sure you know that."

Virgil's words swirled into the air, into the sky, into that great expanse of stars and light.

They laid there and stared at the stars, thinking, considering, and a fair amount of staring on Logan's side.

He couldn't help it, really. He couldn't stop his eyes tracing the curve of his jaw, his bitten lips, the words that previously escaped them were still spinning through Logan's head. And Virgil's hair, his adorably messy hair that was usually hanging in front of his eyes, was pushed to the side, Logan could see a galaxy reflected in his beautiful eyes.

Virgil was his galaxy, his sun, his stars. He had kept him sane through years of school. He constantly went out of his way just to brighten Logan's day a little bit more, and brighten he did.

Virgil meant everything to him and he'd be damned if he went home tonight without showing him that.

"Didn't… Didn't you say you always wanted to go stargazing with your partner?"

"Uhh, yeah." Virgil replied hoarsely.

"I suppose you get to cross that off your list, then." Logan wondered how he suddenly had some semblance of smoothness to his words.

"Oh."

The stars seemed awfully bright that night, especially in the way they reflected off Virgil's freckles.

"Is… Is that a shooting star?" Virgil lifted his free hand, tracing the bright line across the map of stars.

"There's no such thing as shooting stars." Virgil rolled his eyes. "But, I… do believe that's a satellite."

"Then make a wish."

"That's stupid and makes no sense, wishing on a satellite has no affect on my life."

"Just do it, my northern star."

Logan's red face was a reflection off the far away street lights, nothing else. "Am I supposed to tell you what I wished for?"

"Not really, but you can. I'd love to know what goes on in that brilliant head of yours."

"My head is empty, unfortunately." Virgil laughed, he did that quite a bit around him. "I wished that we'd have a good relationship. Apologizes, is that weird, or too soon? I… just mean that we're both terrible at communicating, I hope that we can improve together as a couple."

“Oh."

Although Virgil may not have realized it, Logan noticed as he lightly brushed his thumb over his hand. It was stupidly endearing and soft, just as Virgil was.

"That's probably the cutest thing anyone's ever said that slightly regards me."

"Glad I can be of service, darling."

"So darling is what you go with?"

"Would you prefer something else?"

"...No. If I can call you my boyfriend you can call me whatever you want." Virgil smiled. "…You're my boyfriend. That's nice to say."

"It is. I wonder how I stumbled upon a boyfriend as good as you."

"You- you need to stop doing that," Virgil blushed.

"I'm not doing anything!" Logan shifted closer to him, for heating purposes of course, it was a little chilly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know full well."

"Do I really, Virgil?"

"Shut up and look at the stars."

"Make me."

"Logan I swear-"

"Fine, fine, I will." Virgil mumbled thanks under his breath. "But they aren't as pretty as you."

Virgil let out a noise, a mix between a screech and a cough. There was no way he was showing Logan how fluttery his words made his heart feel. (Although he felt it was common knowledge among them.)

"There's around twenty minutes until the others get back, that's twenty minutes to mess with you."

"I'm already regretting this, Lo."

"As you should, my love."

Yes, their friends may have interrupted their stargazing a few minutes later. Yes, Roman may have forced Patton to leave his shift early resulting in one too little seats and an angry boss. Yes, they may have almost ran out of gas on the way home. Yes, they may have bought fries as Janus looked for a gas station. Yes, they may have fallen onto the floor seconds later. Yes, Remus may have jumped out of the car afterwards because he said it looked fun and almost sprained his ankle. And yes, Roman did have to explain the situation five times to his parents because they couldn't stop laughing about all the shenanigans they got into that night.

Still, Virgil's arm stayed around Logan's waist like it was the most casual thing in the world. Still, they shared a milkshake once everyone had given up on the fallen fries. Still, they were both filled with such a bright happiness that it was impossible to drag them down. And maybe they fell asleep on a video call that night. Or maybe Logan stayed over and they woke up with their limbs tangled in each other's, feeling content and appreciative of the other as they slowly woke up. Honestly, who's to say? It was just a good night.

[thesandersinitiative]

Chapter Four

Logan Ackroyd-Hammer Jr. walks through the SHIELD base like he owns it. His gait is perfectly even, his face is schooled in an expression just shy of a scowl, and he’s iconic enough that when leading the rest of the group through the halls to the bridge the lower level SHIELD agents threw themselves out of his way regardless of what they were doing prior. 

Although that could be because of the accumulation of people that were following him as well: Thomas Sanders who appeared to have lost a fight with a wrecking ball, Joan Stokes who kept the ship in ship-shape, the Captain Morality that everyone learned about in high school, and then, of course, Dr. Virgil Storm. 

People toss themselves away from Logan’s cool glare, but they keep their hands on her gun holsters while Virgil glides by, which truly was more annoying than anything else. What were they expecting? To shoot him? Preposterous. They’d be dead before they clicked their safety off.

“I triangulated the position based on the gamma radiation data left in the servers that weren’t fried by the electromagnetic interference or crushed by the cave in--” Logan explained, glancing back at Thomas, “Which I’m glad to hear you survived, Agent Sanders. Congratulations.”

“Asshole,” Virgil mutters and Logan isn’t petty enough to respond in the slightest.

On the bridge, he strolls over the series of computers that he had taken over for his work. Or rather, the one that Joan had elected to give him and the three others that Logan had commandeered in the process. With a swipe of his fingers he brings the screens back up in their usual glowing hues, except it also brings back a familiar emerald colored AI.

“Oh I know you did not just mute me, gurl!” 

“Is that…” Captain Morality, Patton Hart, said full of childish wonder, “...a man in the computer?”

Logan sighs at the glowing digital aid, “Goodbye, Remy.”

“Gurl! I did all the work! Don’t you be taking my credit!” REM1 complains, but with a simple swipe Logan removes him from the current screen and settles him elsewhere in the digital space. Logan turns back to the group, and resizes the map for the SHIELD agents to see.

“Apologies for the interruption,” he says, “After a refresher course on Gamma radiation, I had Remy borrow the code that SHIELD used previously to track terrorists and threats to society such as Virgil, and I set it to track major radiation sites. Then I manually checked each site with SHIELD records for possible positions, refreshing the map every few minutes to keep track of the ones that moved--” Logan paused just long enough to glance towards Storm’s murderous expression and feel satisfied with himself.

“Where did you get the records to check these sites?” Thomas asks, “Some of these are sealed with level 9 clearance.” 

Logan rolls his eyes, “I had Remy procure them for me. And once again I’m offering to help you update your cyber security defense, Thomas, but that is a discussion for another time, I believe.” 

He taps the screen allowing the map to switch to highlighting just the few areas that SHIELD wasn’t supervising.

“You might want to keep an eye on these two locations,” Logan adds, pointing to a couple spots in the US. “But by process of elimination on the rest-- I had Remy hack into the nearby street cams and run the footage through facial recognition. I had a 78% hit on a quarter shot of a man in Siberia, with a cross reference match that lined up nearly 98%.”

“Oh yay,” Patton says, softly, not-very-excitedly at all, “Siberia.”  Virgil scowls darkly at the map, shoulders pinched all the way up to his ears. 

“You’re sure it’s him?” Joan asks.

“And not some unfortunate sucker that looks like a psycho?” Virgil adds.

“Well,” Logan says, pleasantly, pulling over the digital live feed of the news from Siberia. “There’s also this.”

The feed thankfully, is still going. Although Logan had never taken upon himself to learn Russian, he can make out the distressed voices and the screams well enough. The sky is filled with dark clouds of ash and the horizon lights up with random flashes of light. Right next to the camera man one of the beams slams into a building and sends exploding outward. A chunk of concrete misses the camera man by mere inches and the camera shakes so hard that just watching it makes Logan’s stomach lurch.

“Yep,” Thomas says in a small voice. “That looks about right for an Asgardian god.”

“Technically he’s Vanir,” Joan says, sounding a little sick.

“Logan, get your suit,” Thomas says, “Patton… can you…?”

Patton smiles brightly, possibly too brightly, and hefts his iconic shield up just enough so that he looks like every printed poster of himself, “As long as we stay away from the trains!”

Logan is Now Available For Questions!

Previous Ask || Rules || Masterlist || Next Ask

[high-divinity]

So, in SvS, Roman proposes the Trolley Problem to Patton, and Thomas scrolls through each of the known sides (Disclosing Remus, but more on that later) and each has their role at the top (I.e, Anxiety, Morality, etc) but then Thomas gets to Deceit.

We all know him as Deceit, right? And the sides and Thomas all know him as Deceit, too. But, when it gets to his icon, it doesn’t say ‘Deceit’ at the top.

It says Denial.

This is after both his introduction in the theatre, and, more importantly, the courtroom scenario.

Now, I have a theory (and this is just a THEORY) that this has something to do with Deceit wanting to become a light side, or just wanting to be seen as a better side in general. He does, after all, reveal his real name in this episode, which feels like it would have taken longer, with him faking a name or refusing to say like Virgil did, if he didn’t want to be viewed in a better light. He may have also been acting as Logan for most of this episode, too, in the text-box format, since it would have been easier to do than acting as Logan in person. This would mean he would have easier access to changing how Thomas sees him, if he were closer to the idea that Thomas was showing the audience.

Also, coming back to the fact that Remus, whose introductory video already would have been out by this time, was not a side to be chosen in that scenario. As you can see, it has everyone - including Janus, which cancels out the idea that he isn’t there because he’s a dark side - except for Intrusive Thoughts. You’d expect him to have an opinion, to let the people on the track die, or something along those lines - but he isn’t there at all.

Maybe Remus isn’t there, because it’s a hypothetical scenario, and Thomas is just considering those who are good, or WANT to be good, hence why Janus is there.

But, this was just a theory, and I’d appreciate anyone else’s ideas on this.

[briandthemoon]

~ Uploading this WIP here too! ~ {You can see both on my deviantArt too [same username], but with some of the original ideas and thoughts.} So uh, I did what I do best and shoved two things I love and have been hyperfocusing on for the last month together: Sanders Sides and RWBY.

I’ve been binging @thatsthat24 ‘s Sanders Sides videos and fan comics for the last month or so and by god, it’s really lifted my mood. I’m gonna work to get them all lined and coloured soon, but since I’ll be travelling in the next week, I’ll likely have paper sketches and such to upload if I’m lucky.

As for this AU, say hello to Team RNBO [Rainbow]! This is what I have so far in terms of character information; [putting it under a readmore, please do have a look!]

Roman De La Rosa:

- Semblance:  "Picture This" - the ability to conjure an item proportional to the positive emotions he alone is feeling. So the happier and more creative he feels, the better.

- Weapons: “Armas Y Rosas“, a gauntlet-gun [armas] and a rosen rapier sword [rosas]. It’s literally just a Guns N Roses joke.

Virgil Nightshade:

- Black Cat Faunus. I didn’t realise til too late how similar to Blake he is but honestly, idc, I love him.

- Semblance:  "Panic Room" - the ability to conjure a small isolated, soundproof space to trap someone in. Including himself in times of distress.

- Weapons: “Atropa”  and “Solanum”, two knives with dust vials that attach to the end to infuse the metal. He usually uses Gravity Dust because 1) aesthetic and 2) if you have gravity defying Dust? Thats a cool escape my guy.

Logan Blu-Berrie:

- Semblance: “Blu-Screen of Death” -   the ability to perform computer-esque functions via summons, i.e. attacking someone with a text box he just conjured, or browsing data and memories on a summoned screen for accuracy.

- Weapon: “Crofter”, a staff-spear that uses projection similar to Velvet’s weapon to form blades when needed. I.E. turning the staff into an axe or hammer or even forming a fishing line. [Looking at this whole thing, Logan wound up giving me big Scottish vibes in this AU and I’m SO for it.]

Patton Opal:

- Labrador Faunus, best boy 1000/10, didn’t have to re-work his design at all, what a madlad

- Semblance:  "New Trick" - the ability to mark a person and be able to find them via a boosted scent marker. So far Roman smells like strawberries and creme, Virgil smells like smokey wood, and Logan smells like jam. And yes, Patton has tried tracking himself. He smells of vanilla cookies.

Weapon: “Storge”, a shield - axe combo. Mostly used in the shield position unless he’s forced to be active in a fight. Tried to give this weapon BIG Rose Quartz Shield Vibes.

Remus Pepinillo:

- for those wondering, he threw out the De La Rosa name when he left the family to go eat deoderants without judgement. And to go cause havoc.

- Semblance: “Can’t Be Unseen” - Similar to Roman’s semblance, Remus can conjure items but instead based upon other people’s negative emotions directed at him. So things like disgust and fear directed at him make him stronger. 

- Weapon: “Asqueroso”, a mace that can be wielded in pole form or as a chain flail. The name literally is just the spanish for “Disgusting”.

“Deceit“:

- Python faunus. Pretty obvious there. As for a name, I’ll work with whatever becomes canon, tbh. His hat snake isn’t real, it’s just a design, but he has named his hat “Monty”.

- Semblance: “Trust in Me” - Deceit can mimic someone else’s voice to the point of being hypnotic in some cases.

- Weapon: “Kaa”, a microphone that can amplify sounds to use as ammo, or can be combined with dust vials for other effects, such as fire breathing or ice breath. This is absolutely where Virgil got the idea for his knives. 

~~ Little Things In Their Designs Collectively~~

- So mostly Roman and Virgil had a revamp and got added or changed details. I’m personally loving the rose decals for Roman, and the fact that Virgil has to keep sewing his hoodie pocket sides back up because he keeps knee-jerk whipping out his knives and catching them on the sides. Also freckles. I cannot stress enough how much I needed to give one of these cute lil guys freckles.

- Logan and Patton really didn’t change much; Patton came out perfect the first time, and Logan just needed some proportion adjustments. Later I went and added friendship bracelets to each design because I do not believe for a second that Patton wouldn’t make them team bracelets. The card suit beads was just an addition that I added because I am the artist and none of you can stop me from adding the tiniest of references to Homestuck Quadrants. 

- For Roman and Remus, I wanted them to have similar poses but good god, it was still hard to draw Remus’s hands. They look so good in the end though so I’m good with ‘em. I also might give him a little top hat or something at some point and see how it looks, I dunno.

- As for Deceit, I had a bit of trouble trying to pin down his design at first, but once I rolled with the allusions to Kaa from Jungle Book, it went far easier. I quite like that I added the poisonous needles in the bottom of his boots as a “sting in the tail” kind of thing.

- Talking about inspirations and such, Roman, Virgil, and Patton are pretty much just colour based; Roman being red roses [his name literally being Roman of the Rose] as a symbol of romance of course, with Virgil’s whole motif being Edgey and thus going with nightshade purple as his colour, and finally with Patton, his name took me the longest to work out, but Opal seemed to fit really well, and considering it represents Love and Loyalty? Come on, I had to.

- As for Logan, Deceit, and Remus, they all got more story links worked in somehow without me really realising. Logan was really unexpected, but between the Crofters’ Jam link and the blue colours, he gave me sort of Little Boy Blue vibes, and also via the name Logan being Scottish in origin and yknow, everythign else I mentioned? Yeah. I will definitely be adding celtic flair to his design when its coloured. Deceit is more obvious; Kaa was a good choice in influence that I noticed halfway through and just buckled down on. For Remus, he bounced around a bit between Maleficent and Dr Facilier, but in the end, I figured the Shadow Man was a better fit. Also his surname is literally just the Spanish for “Pickle” or “Gherkin”. 

- Final info, if people are wondering, they’d all be centred on Huntsman training at Beacon, but in terms of where they’re from;

Roman and Remus would be from Atlas, obviously. That place spits out rich kids with issues like it’s quickfire Uno.

Virgil would be from Mantle; it’s pretty obviously one of the more run down and hard to live in areas, plus that’d set up the in this universe initial animosity between Roman and Virgil.

Logan is from Vale, so he’s a Beacon native. I considered him being from Atlas because of their tech. However, Vale won me over with Logan’s european influences and such.

Patton would be from Vacuo. I know its a weird choice, but hey, it’s full of faunus and it just fit a bit better than Menagerie or Mistral.

Speaking of, Deceit is 100% Menagerie born, but Mistral bred. He often tells people different conflicting origin stories, and won’t even tell his name to ex-buddy Virgil or ‘best buddy’ Remus.

I think that’s everything so far!!

I dunno if everyone else is as hype to see what comes of all this as I am, but either way I’m going to have fun doing it. <3

_______ PLEASE DO NOT: - repost my art at all - you are not permitted to line or colour this art - you are not permitted to use this art as an icon or profile pic - do not steal these designs, I put a lot of work into them ;; _______ Sanders Sides (c) @thatsthat24 RWBY (c) Monty Oum & Rooster Teeth The sketches belong to me.

[kanene-yaaay-o-retorno]

The Colors of my Soul(mates) [1]

[Second oneshot]

[AO3 link]

Kanene’s Notes:

Nope, I do not regret the pun. Okay, okay! I’ve plaining this AU for almost an year so I’m pretty excited to post it!! dfghjsdfrtyucfvgbhjv yaaaay!! Thank you very very much @olliedollie1204 for such a positive feedback and awesome ideas. it helped me a lot!! 

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* That fanfic has Virgil, Logan, Patton and Roman (only a brief mention of Remy) in a platonic relationship (yet), but it can be viewed as romantic, if you wish. 

* Warnings: A bit of swearing and depreciative thoughts. It’s mostly fluff and hurt/comfort, tho.

* This characters do not belongs to me. They all belongs to the amazing Thomas Sanders in his series of Sanders Sides.

* Something around 4.500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* Tô com preguiça de postar a versão em português brasileiro aaaa! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Say to someone important how much you love them, be safe, talk with the one that you love, drink water and sleep well! Byeioo!~

                           [~*~]

What can do a creature if not, between creatures, love?  - Carlos Drummond de Andrade

  - What the fu-

 Virgil only discovered he had more than one Soulmate when he was twenty years old, more specifically the exact moment he took a wrong turn and kept going even knowing he was in the wrong way because one hour it would lead him to somewhere Virgil would recognize before his mortal being inevitably starved to death in the middle of nowhere and his eyes got dragged from the visions from thousands of futures created by his mind to a Teddy Bear Store - they seemed to replicate worse than bacteria during Valentine’s Day - and two bears from the crimson shelter suddenly dyed themselves in two milliseconds as he slightly glanced at them.

 Two of them. Virgil felt his entire face burn in hot shades of embarrassment with drops of disbelief, almost as if all the people running, stumbling, locked in their own worlds and swearing while walked in the sideway because ‘some stupid teenager decided to just stop and block their way’ could, by only looking at him, stare deep into his soul and realize the one staring astonished the store already carried in his fate another one more Soulmate at home.

One completely different in shape and form, even if also blue, however in a light, sky blue completely opposite shade from the new navy one staring him down - Virgil knew plentily their link wasn’t bonded yet, albeit he was equally sure that the person behind those black glooming teddy bear’s eyes were already judging him, - wondering why, between all the people, he was their soulmate. The other red one was very much likely crackling in his face when an employee came and pointedly turn the adult’s attention to the sign in big, graphed words clued in front of their store:

 “You dye, you buy.”

 Virgil signed, pushing his hoodie down further, wondering how much time it would take of him hitting his head on the wall to finally pass out. This option sounded much more attractive when he realized that this new ‘discovery’ about himself would cost all his month’s saves.

 He asked, to the Universe, the stars, the Earth and whoever was seeing him in that exact moment: why?

 Was it a kind of prank? A punishment from fate when, years and tears ago, Virgil lifted his chin up and dared the Universe to give him more soulmates as he locked all his uncolored – although never really free of some weak drops of paint from what one day they came to be – simply stuffed animals, - and nothing more, anymore, - away and promised he would never, ever allow himself to go all through this shit again?

 But… That had been… years ago. Almost a decade since that soft voice he got to know so well, the impulsive acts, long conversations and warm feelings.

 But…

 Time has passed, that is true. Nevertheless, deep down has he really changed?

 Virgil stared at the bag carried so close to his chest since his bare hands were sweating and shaking way too much for this task. Yes, he knew his Soulmates won’t feel anything until both of them decided to ‘give the First Step’, accepting to link their souls and fates, for the longest as it lasts. However, he didn’t want to risk it, because what if they felt? What if he in some way broke the Soulmate System when got two at the same time and now everything was messed up and they could already feel his touches even through the bag and the first impression Virgil would gave to them was ‘That anxious, weird boy and his creepy, sweaty hands’ and-

 A girl almost hit him as she passed running at his side, making his arms protectively hug further the teddy bears closer to him, arms protectively involving them, the soft touch somehow calming his tumulted thoughts. The lost man took a deep breath.

 Clear your mind. Rational thoughts. Focus on the two sides of the coin. Three people wouldn’t be able to break a millennial, unknown system, don’t matter how good he was in screwin… No, a voice that sounded suspiciously a lot like his psychologist calmly pointed, not like that. Virgil huffed, trying again. He was a magnet of problems and bad…Okay, also wrong. Neutral thoughts, focus on neutral thoughts. Come on. Come on.

 It was okay.

 They wouldn’t feel him until they gave the first step. Right, that… sounded like a start. He didn’t do anything. Now, what Virgil needed to do was go to his house, clean his bed in order to find a good place where he could put and ignore them and then he would get his headphones, listen his playlists and wonder where the fuck his life was going.

 It was okay. Everything would stay okay as long as he didn’t give the First Step.

 Virgil unconsciously hugged tighter the teddy bears, his fingers finding way and drowning themselves in the soft, cozy fur, combing them in light, soothing touches as he continued his way.

 Okay. Everything was okay.

 [~*~]

 Plurinfanto, or Multiple Souls, it’s the nomination used for the cases when a person has diverse soulmates at the same time and in a same period.

 The first known case was with Pharaoh Cleopatra when multiples of her woolen fabric started to dye themselves in various colors and shades. In Ancient Roman, it was believed that the occurrences were blessings from Venus in a sign of prosperity and abundance. Grand, longstanding parties were executed through days nonstop in order to get together those intertwined souls. When the connection broke and the colors disappeared, it meant that days of pain and foreboding were waiting forward.

 It is not known for certain the exact moment when the meaning changed, albeit researchers believe it was around the fall of the Roman Empire, when all the invasions resulted in a cultural reconstruction which led to the loss from much of their costumes.

  CLICK HERE TO DISCOVER HOW TO HAVE THE SOULMATE OF YOUR DREAMS!!!!  

 [~*~]

 The computer made a soft ‘click’ as Virgil closed it and sat on his bed, adjusting slightly his position to stare the three vivid, brilliant stuffed beings contrasting to the general dark theme of his room.

 Virgil growled, resting his back on the cold wall, the shivers calming his flowing thoughts about all the variants this whole thing had. No to mention that people change with time, leading to the souls who they “relate” to change as well, meaning that you can have someone in your life for years and then, one month, or weeks or the next day, you can wake up only to discover you and the said person don’t “match” anymore.

 And NO ONE talked about this just because it was a freak tabu to doesn’t have ‘an only one soulmate who will be with you until the end of your existence’. Oh, for fuck sake. Virgil ran his hand through his hair, wincing when he accidently pulled some tangled strands. That sounds like a line of commercial, does anyone believe that bullshit for real?

 “Hello dear, newer fellow!!” The popping thought broke his line of reasoning, jumping excitedly in his mind and automatically pulling him out of his wanders. It has a strong and full of… about everything, tune demanding attention. Virgil felt a warm kiss on his forehead, meaning one soulmate – a deep part of him turned his attention to the red colored teddy bear, - had given the First Step. The one who in some moment changed his position so now he was sitting on the floor felt his face get hot again, heart thumping strongly in his chest as his arm moved, fingers stopping inches away from the fur, questioning if he was ready to retribute the gesture.

  [~*~]

 Many history icons have reports of being Pluriers, as shown in the book ‘The Romance in the History of Those Who Wrote It’, by historian Henry Senyura. The subject is also beginning to gain more visibility after the protest from the teacher Joan A. in 2010, who got touched towards the situation of some of her pupils being forced to choose only one among their Soulmates for the six-month annual exchange, by the end of that period most of them lost or weakened their bonding due lack of communication, small changes of personality and continuous absence. She held a protest at the front of the school, stating that no one had the right to interfere in ‘matters of the heart’.

 A lot of fiction works are beginning to address the topic more frequently, as in I’m Not One, a movie directed by Devon Stan; The Seven Colors of Rainbow, a book written by Lílian Lee and the psychological analysis Life’s Watch, recently found between drafts by the famous writer Robin Green, published after their husband’s authorization, Josué Green.

 [~*~]

 Logan hummed. As it seems, this was a relatively common thing, since the concept of Soul Mates surpassed the barriers of unity and time, being ‘souls who in a way or other intertwined themselves in some part of their life. Sometimes it didn’t necessarily mean a romantic relationship, as the majority of society and media pointed, but it also didn’t hold any assurance that all of them were platonic.

 He massaged the bridge of his nose. Remy wasn’t in the dorm so everything was silent enough for him to hear his own thoughts.

  It has been a remarkable amount of years since he got his last soulmates, - except for Remy, however they both considered this occurrence as a separate incident - well, until, of course, this day. At least it was a good thing he always carried in his bag extra easy manageable stuffed animals or else maybe the System would dye one of clothes, what would be less than ideal for him in the middle of his philosophy debate. But things got even more interesting when, after his classes, as he arrived at the small, pleasantly well-organized store next to his university, one more stuffed animal colored itself right before him.

 He didn’t exactly understand why. Logan considered himself an owner of a… quite strong, strict personality, this added with his difficulty in managing his and one another emotions usually tended to bring some complex tribulations in his rela-

 Anyway, that is beside the important matter. The one laying his chin on his crossed fingers undid his pose for a bite of time in order to adjust his glasses, barely fixating his gaze on the two plushies in the desk before him, his third – Pat - resting a few centimeters away, closer to Logan’s fingers, who were barely touching. Mind running. Asking, reflecting, wondering what was the exact amount of time to be acceptable to give his First Step?

 ‘The First Step’.

 Logan never really understood from where and how that expression emerged. It didn’t come from the words’ etymology nor some semantic detour. His most concrete hypothesis consisted of the phrase being derived from old romances.

 “Did you know it used to be called the ‘First Kiss’?! But that confused a lot of people who really believed that, to be able to talk and interact with their soulmates they would have to kiss each other, like the Sleeping Beauty! I always got confused in this movie when I was a child, by the way! That ended up messing with a bunch of relationships before they even started, since a lot of peeps don’t feel comfortable enough with strangers kissing them. However, they also speeded up a bunch of them as well…” Logan blinked, his attention escaping from his previous thoughts to the light sky blue plushie of Baby Yoda, for a moment surprised with the sudden input. He felt fingers carefully holding his arms and a bit of ghost movements as Pat probably moved his representation to somewhere else, a hug and warmth engulfing the one yet absolving the new information moments later.

 “That was… enlightening.” His voice danced across the room. Even though he was completely aware they could chat telepathically, the childish act of saying the words out loud still comforted him, in a way. “Thank you for your contribution.”

 He took a deep breath and closed the tab of research on his cellphone, internally thanking from the escaping of his turmoil of thoughts, his free hand carefully combing the Baby Yoda’s head fur, almost methodic.

 “Looo, no!” The other protested with no heat in his tune, leading a toothless smile to resurface in Logan’s features. “Stop doing this. You know I end up sleeping every time!”

 “Oh no, what a tragedy.” He deadpanned, already plugging his phones and changing to a most relaxed position on his chair, his eyes traveling across the countless movies on the device before him. “In which episode did we stop?”

 “I’m going to fight you.” Pat sounded like he was pouting.

 “How so?” Logan asked, trying to hide his amusement.

 Silence followed his words.

 “Pat?”

 “What is the skeleton’s favorite instrument?”

 “Pat, don’t you fucking da-”

 “Language! It’s a xiloBONE!”

 Logan audible growled, fast in his final decision. “I’m going to drop you out the window.”

  “I’m going to hug you!” And immediately the one rolling his eyes felt himself being squished in a strong bear hug, huffing only half annoyed.

 “You are an incorrigible heathen, let me go in this exact instant.” His answer was a ‘butterfly kiss’ – as Pat was fond in calling them – on his forehead. “Urg, affection.” Yet he smiled and mirrored the act, lightly poking the other’s side.

 “We’re on episode 19.”

  [~*~]  

Roman stared the paper, his pencil’s tip stopped in the middle of the biggest petal’s flower, his eyes narrowing in the hope of a clearest way of how to convert the vague idea he had in transforming the night full of stars in a flower. No to tell he also would need to choose a good pallet of colors indication for it, later, and probably re-do all the process over and over and over until got the best result as possible. A yawn found its way from his lips and the designer stretched, getting up to drink a bit of water and rubbing his eyes, wondering if it was really worth it to make a black tea to help him through the night.

 A glimpse of color caught his attention. The navy blue teddy bear on his couch, the main inspiration of his newest tattoo. Roman wondered why it wasn’t resting in front of him while he drew. A corner of his brain, obscured by the tiredness, telling he had a previous good reason for this choice although his actual self carried absolutely no idea of why.

 Well, if he couldn’t remember it, it means the reason wasn’t THAT good, right?

 Roman held the stuffed animal, spinning with it across the room for a couple of minutes, imagining who would be the person behind it. A king, a queen, a non-binary royalty? Did they like Disney? Musicals? Sing? Would they chat for hours at first with a few words exchanged or would they take a bit to warm at each other? Was navy blue their favorite color or…

 Or…

 Navy blue.

 Oh.

 He fixed his glare on the plushie, his hands feeling and slowly drawing in the soft fur of it.

 Navy blue, huh? A humorless chuckled flew in the air. It could have no significance, it could be a world of it. It probably didn’t mean what he, for a moment, a so silly, stupid moment, wished it meant. Of course, one day this would happen, right? It was something normal, something expected. Not the magical, right out of the story books or his old daydreams, occurrence.

 This wasn’t a second chance. The Universe doesn’t give you second chances. He wasn’t the same boy from eleven years ago, holding his own costumed teddy bear crying his eyes out, hugging he – No, it – the closest as possible, wishing with all his heart and soul for the color, the voice, the thoughts, the rambling, their bickering, the forgiveness to come back again.

 No, he grew up. He moved on. He got better.

 Then why did a part of him still felt this way? Like he was about to hear the excited giggles, the soft reprimand, that lovely, deep and so truly -and sometimes boring, Roman had to admit – questions? Why would a part of him still say that he could have it all again if he just… waited long enough, hoped high enough, dreamed long enough…

 …If he was enough.

There aren’t more than seven billion colors in the world. Roman would be stupid if he really believed there was a path where he wouldn’t stumble in that so (un)fortunate well-known shade of blue again.

 Roman growled, his forehead making a loud, dry thumping sound as hit his desk. The one who should be asleep hours ago had absolutely no energy to battle against those thoughts, again. At least for now. He rubbed his eyes and stared at the teddy bear laid on the cold tabletop before him. Well, what a better way to get rid of your own means thoughts than put some stranger’s unpredictable thoughts in the middle of it? Roman slightly pushed the bunch of flowers and some warmup sketches he had out of the way, carefully carrying the representation next to him, nodding. Honestly, that was the best idea he had for a while, why did he even put the lovely thing away?

 Awake Roman was so silly, thinking that… something he couldn’t quite recall right now would be a bad idea, he pointed as snorted softly, pressing his lips on the teddy’s forehead, the quote he knew by heart flying from them in a natural flow.

 “It is not immortal, since it’s flame. But let it be infinite while it lasts.”

 A warm sensation rested on his own forehead moments later, leading the sleepy form to hum happily.

 “Is it… poetry?” Oh shit, Roman widened his eyes. His soulmate heard that?? Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Roman mentally facepalmed himself. So that was why he usually said it before the First Step!

 “Uhh, yeah. Of course. Fidelity Sonnet by Vinícius Moraes.”

 “I see. Classicism, I presume. A literature of very soundly pleasant rhymes, indeed. The first sonnet was probably created by the humanist Italian poet Francesco Petrarca, although it got even more known in the western literature after the works of Camões, who- ”

 “He is from Modernism, actually.” Roman didn’t know why he suddenly sounded so defensive. Logan felt a cold feeling run his body when the other’s hands let go of him, for a piece of second wondering if it was supposed for him to do the same with the red narwhal plushie on his hold.

 “A very common mistake to make due the lack of context.” He retorted, unable to formulate another answer. He had, of course, thought, balanced options and chosen the best topics to discuss with his new soulmates when they bonded. However, his fingers firmly gripped the pen, its tip tapping on the first topic written in the notebook partially forgotten in front of him, the poetry figuratively threw him out of his tracks, leading the decision to be the most impartial as possible due his… not so impartial past memories with that specific shade of red an even more difficult task than it already was.

 “Yes. Sure. Sorry, I- I’m just… very tired right now.”

 “You should go sleep, then.”

 The other snorted with the direct, immediate response. “I should, shouldn’t I? Gotta work, though.”

 Some part of Logan’s brain registered the new fact, separating and keeping it in a special place so he would remember to write it down in the new folder he bought, later.

 “I see.” … poetry? That wasn’t a hard topic to talk about. The one now nervously cleaning the very clear lenses twisted his mouth. He could talk about this for hours. No, correction: he already had previously talked about this for hours non stop.

 Logan strangely felt the urge to rub his face and scream. It has been years, - eleven years and 10 months to be precise – and exactly eight years since the one wearing glasses learned poetry because of him. Because of his constant habit of reciting Shakespeare before they would go to bed, until Logan brought himself to research and decorate all the poems he could muster, taking the task to now wake Prince – the name still carried a strong taste in his tongue – in the same way every single day. Before they realize, that becomes something between them. There were times when both didn’t talk, content in only reciting some verses and hear the other complete them. A part of Logan, that illogical and unfortunately full of feelings one wondered how their rap battles would be if they found each other right now.

 Did Prince even maintain his liking the same things he one day did? Does he still recite poetry? Does he maintain the same dreams? The same habits?  Does he even remember about him?

 Highly improbable.

 “You can call me Lo.”

 Roman slowly blinked, getting out the fog surrounding his brain to realize he was mindless staring at the pan’s boiling water, surprised the other still there. Well, it seems like he hasn't screwed terribly everything yet.

 “Lo? Like Lowrance?”

 “Even though my name does contain ‘Lo’ in it, no. It’s ‘Lo’ like Logic. I came to believe it’s a good idea the nomination after a predominant characteristic, since we can’t actively exchange our real names through the Soulmate System.”

 Roman’s breath hitched, a memory with yellow-ish edges and nostalgic smell unrolling in front of him.

 …

 ‘I think we should choose you a name with more personality in it, ya know?’ He threw himself on his bed, kicking his legs on the air before immediately scoping the plushie and laying it on his stomach. ‘Like a characteristic!’

 ‘I don’t see what is wrong with the nickname I choose.’

 ‘No, no! There is nothing wrong with it! But that could be something just between us!’ Then he gasped, picturing that, if he was inside a movie there would be a lamp shining right above his hair in this moment. ‘We could call you Ro!! You wanted to be a robot, right?’

 His soulmate growled and Roman felt a few pokes on his arm, the verbal protest doesn’t taking long before accompanying it. ‘I was three years old!’

 ‘And I’m never letting you live this down.’ He beamed, both knowing the annoyed scoff he got as response held no real heat. ‘Besides, we could even match our names!!’

 ‘That would be very counterproductive.’ Roman felt his hair being softly smoothed, a usual indication the other was losing himself in his thoughts. ‘Nicknames are supposed to help us. Having two equal names is not the most efficient thing.’

 Roman dramatically scoffed, picking the stuffed animal and half hugging it, his free hand occupying itself in making a couple of gestures to no one, since his soulmate couldn’t exactly see them. ‘It’s not about being productive, Bear! It’s about feelings!!’

 ‘And since when,’ a light poke was delivered on his belly, making him squeak and mess with the teddy bear’s hair in revenge ‘Everything isn’t feelings for you, your highness?’

 …

 “Okay,” Roman and his self past disappearing with the fading memory said, in synchrony “You shall call me by Prince, then.”

 Suddenly he felt himself falling, his hands quickly holding on the tabletop as the cold, nauseous feeling took over his stomach, more like a punch on it, his veins being filled with amounts of adrenaline for a glimpse of a second.

 “Excuse me? Warn a guy next time you decide to just drop his representation, dude! Damn.” Roman shook himself, trying to bring his body to calm down.

 “Sorry, I got… startled.” Logan gulped. The word ‘Prince’ echoing on his mind as a broken vinyl disc. What were the chances? That couldn’t be such a common nickname, right? Nor color. Nor interests. What were the chances? What could be the chances? Maybe he was just projecting, being played, tricked by a dangerous partnership between his own brain and emotions. Maybe he was just jumping to conclusions due the nostalgic feeling fogging his actions, his thoughts. Perhaps-

 “Hey, Lo? Are you there?”

 “Yes.” Logan answered, his fingertips colliding quickly with the fabric of his pants as he visualized his options. “Yes, I am.”

 “Hm. Okay, then. I’m… glad to know.”

 Silence. Logan took a wobbly breath.

 “Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back; Wherein he puts alms for oblivion; A great-size monster of ingratitudes:”

  “Those scraps are good deeds past; which are devour'd; As fast as they are made, forgot as soon.” Roman continued without even noticing until the words danced in the air, just like the years haven’t passed.

 Then he understood.

  His heart stopped for a second, his eyes widening and his voice disappearing, as if his whole being was afraid to break the moment, the spell; as if this was a dream and a miscalculate step would make everything fade.

 “Bear?” Roman felt a light poke on his cheek.

 “Hello, Prince.”

 Roman choked a laugh, quickly crawling the teddy bear next to his chest, hugging it both firmly and yet so caring, curling around its - no, him - feeling an equal warmth involve his form as he hided his face on the soft fur, giggling and hugging, feeling so happy, so alive and right and good and he would never, ever, ever again let him go.

 “I missed you, bitch. Never scare me like this again.”

 “I… missed you, as well.” Logan tried to not let the emotion take over his tune, his hand petting the narwhal plushie softly, the words had abandoning him, as it seems. “This reunion is a… good surprise.”

 “Oh, shut up, I know you’re having a blast somewhere in that logic soul of yours, too.”

 Logan huffed, grinning. “Stop crying on my hair, your troglodyte.”

 “Make me, I dare you.”

 “Always so dramatic.” They both rolled their eyes, letting the moment be bathed in the deep waters of a comfortable silence.

 “Eleven years.”

 “We have so, so much to talk about!! Oh, my goodness gracious, I’m going to get my tea. Do you remember about that play I wrote about zombie princes and a dragon witch? You will NOT fucking believe what happened with it!”

 “Good thing I have you to explain to me then.” Roman stopped, a gigantic smile taking over his features as he closed his eyes to feel everything even more.

 “Yeah, I agree.”

 Somewhere in the world Patton and Virgil smiled during their sleep, unable to control themselves when a gigantic wave of pure joy and delight filled every corner of their hearts, coloring it on the most brilliant gleam, just like their stuffed animals resting peacefully on their grip.

[omgyouatetheprincess]

Janus’ Playlist

AHH JANUS' PLAYLIST LETS GOO

Not that anyone asked for my opinions

Okay so I'd like to start by saying that Thomas, Joan and Talyn did an amazing job on this playlist because every song fits Janus so perfectly.

Here are some of my thoughts on the songs and some interpretations I came up with or found on the internet.

Trigger Warnings - abortion. Mocking of religion.

Black Hole Sun - okay at first I was like 'wow this is really smooth and nice and the vocals are so sweet.' Then I heard the lyrics. "In disguises no one knows,

Hides the face, lies the snake". It's such a Deceit song and I imagine him dancing to it (with or without a partner).

Black Hole Sun by Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox, Haley Reinhart

It Seemed That Better Way - holy heck, can I point out that this song is such a bop? Leonard Cohen has such a soothing voice and it reminds me of Patrick Page (aha Hadestown) and if Janus wasn't played by Thomas, I could imagine this as his voice. The song is about not knowing what the truth is and what to believe, and has religious meanings which could be countering Patton and his Catholic beliefs.

It Seemed The Better Way by Leonard Cohen

Anywhere - I feel like Patton would hate this because the first line is "It's a beautiful world if you've been lied to by parents and priests". Anywhere describes how the world isn't a beautiful as it may seem, and that people lie to make you see it.

Anywhere by The Scarring Party

Talking At The Same Time - it is immediately dark and that everything seems fake and a... Lie. A lot of Deceit's songs are about the truth or that everything is a lie and I have to give massive kudos to Thomas, Joan and Talyn because they did an excellent job portraying Janus through his music taste. The song describes how everyone talks at the same time, and what I interpret that as is that everyone says the same thing over and over. It's hard to explain so I'll let you make your own interpretations of it.

Talking At The Same Time by Tom Waits

all the good girls go to hell - I'm not going to lie (ha) but I don't like Billie Eyelash, but I'll see past the artist. My first thought when I saw the song without hearing it is that it's a good choice and Janus probably loves Billie Eilish. Spotify has meanings of songs so I'm going to go off there: "This song is in the perspective of the Devil / no matter how good you are, desperate measures will eventually break you / turn you into bad." I feel like Deceit would sing this around the house. This song is twisting Christian symbolism and the lyrics can be interpreted as Eilish praising people who go to hell as it's better than being morally good. (Also, just switch Peter with Patton)

all the bad girls go to hell by Billie Eilish

Denial - KDJIEKAKSNDENIAL? In Putting Others First, Janus is referred to as Denial and now this song? Everyone start clapping for Thomas and his team. Anyway, the song discusses themes of conflict within a relationship, and the denial and insecurity of being in a relationship near it’s end (source: Genius). Also, Roceit vibes?

Denial by The Vaccines

Trust In Me - first of all, heck yeah! I predicted this song to be on his playlist because it's a slimy snake song from Disney? Hello this is Thomas? I think it's a great song and Johansson's voice is angelic. Kaa is manipulating and hypnotizing Mowgli, and if Deceit could do the same you can bet your bottom dollar he would sing this. We love our not-evil snake boi.

Trust In Me by Scarlett Johansson

Razzle Dazzle - Janus singing this with Roman? Yes please? Okay so I get that this is a villian song, and I love that, but imagine Deceit in a shiny sequenced dress? I also haven't seen Chicago yet so I'm going off what I've heard - this song describes how it is too easy to put on a show and make the audience happy. Basically, acting is just professional lying. The line "Though you are stiffer than a girder they'll let you get away with murder" is so clever (no spoilers but he had it coming)

Razzle Dazzle by Richard Gere

[SLIGHT HADESTOWN SPOILERS]

When The Chips Are Down - I hecking love Hadestown so you can bet I squealed when I saw this song. This song is sung by the fates, who are portrayed at untrustworthy. The title of this song is derived from the idiom “when the chips are down”, meaning “when a very serious and difficult situation arises”. Eurydice is in potentially one of the most serious and difficult situations she could be in: her life is at stake. After Hades invites Eurydice to come with him to Hadestown, the Fates appear and encourage her to consider his offer. They tell her that she should look after herself now that she is starving and the “chips are down”. (Source: Genius). In my own words, the fates are convincing (or manipulating if you will) a poor helpless girl to put herself first and save herself. It also mentions how if you be good to get into heaven,you get a knife in the back.

Go listen to Hadestown, it's an incredible soundtrack.

When The Chips Are Down by Anaïs Mitchell, The Haden Triplets

[TW! Abortion]

Mandy Goes to Med School - okay so this song is about abortion, so we'll have to go off context. Mandy (or Amanda Palmer) has to pay for Medical School by giving abortions in an alleyway with a coat hanger, so I interpret this as having to do shady stuff to get what you want. I think him and Remus would enjoy this song together. I'd also like to note that Logan had a song by Amanda Palmer in his playlist... That isn't relevant but I wanted to note that.

Mandy Goes to Med School by The Dresden Dolls

I Put A Spell On You - 50SOG vibes? I really like this song, it has a nice rhythm and the lyrics are so creepy. This gives me vibes of Deceit cornering/pining another side/love interest because if our baby boy wants to be happy, he should. This is similar to Trust In Me because it talks about enchanting someone to get what you want. "I don't care if you don't want me, I'm yours right now." Chills. Janus singing this song would complete my life.

Also the singer calls the love interest daddy but we ain't shaming

I Put A Spell On You by Nina Simone

Evil Night Together - well the title has evil in it so... Perfect for our Evil Snake Boi. This song gives me huge Demus/Receit vibes because it's basically like "let's go on a date in the creepiest place."

What if we drank a drink in the torture chambers... Haha jk ...unless 🥺

Evil Night Together by Jill Tracy

Don't Tell Mama - another musical song? Roman would be impressed. This song is about an English singer, who's mother thinks she's in a convent (a nun), when really she's in a German s3x club. You can really tell why it would be so bad if her secret got out.

Don't Tell Mama by John Kander, Joel Grey, Jill Hawarth, Cabaret Ensemble, Harold Hastings

You're A Cad - definition of a cad: a man who behaves dishonourably, especially towards a woman... This song has a nice beat and gives me TikTok vibes, but it also gives me Moceit vibes (I say vibes too much) because the singer is saying "you're a villain, a cad, a rascal... But I'm like a fish on a hook for you and I still want you." Also, she has a sweet tooth?

You're A Cad by the bird and the bee

As Far As I Can See - all aboard the angst train, CHOO-CHOO "As far as I can see, nobody loves me. As far as I can tell, nobody loves you either" this song gives me such Roceit vibes because the meaning is pretty simple: if nobody loves Janus, then he'll take everyone down with him. I knew there would be that one song that tries to make me cry for our poor baby.

As Far As I Can See by Phantogram

Criminal - first of all, the cover is beautiful. Apple describes the song as “a description of feeling bad for getting something so easily by using your sexuality.” She also told in an interview: "One of my friends said to me, “Oh yeah, of course you aren’t writing.” So I was like, “The next time you see me, I’m gonna have a new song.” I wrote “Criminal” in 45 minutes when everyone else went to lunch because I had to have a hit. I can force myself to do the work, but only if someone is right up behind me." Which is the level of pettiness I see in Deceit and I am here for it. The context of the song is seduction and manipulation, so Janus using his sexuality to manipulate the other Sides is a cursed thought.

Criminal by Fiona Apple

Change - if any of them listened to Lana Del Rey, I sort of expected it to be Virgil. Change shows how Del Rey has matured, and I feel like it also portrays Janus' ability to adapt. "Change is a powerful thing... I'll be able to be honest..." Does this mean he's trying to change? Will we get more character development? LIGHT SIDE JANUS?

Change by Lana Del Rey

Devil In The Details - this song is about trusting the wrong person and taking advantage of something. "I am the first one I deceive if I can make myself believe the rest is easy.". More angst, yay.

Devil In The Details by Bright Eyes

Come Little Children - if you had a My Little Pony phase, you probably know this song. Come Little Children, also known as "Sarah's Theme" and "Garden of Magic," is a song sung by Sarah Sanderson in the film, Hocus Pocus to hypnotize children to lure them. Manipulation: a common theme.

Come Little Children by Erutan

Into The Unknown - I was really shocked to see this song until I realized, no, it wasn't the same iconic theme from Frozen 2. This short song is from Over The Garden Wall, a show Thomas watches but I have not. "If dreams can't come true, then why not pretend?" The show plays heavily on the battle between dreams and reality (source: Genius). The way I see this, Janus is convincing the Light Sides to do something, or specifically Roman to make his dreams come true through selfish means.

Into The Unknown by The Blasting Company

This playlist is one of the best because every song had me saying “Janus would so sing this". If you have any thoughts, feel free to comment!

As always, take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals peace out

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

Soft Walls and Roses- Fusion AU

Ao3,   Masterpost,   More of this AU

I think this is my first AU wow,,, So yeah this is definitely just the first installment. It can be read as a stand-alone, but I do intend on writing more with a couple of other fusions later! And then we’ll see how it goes from there. Essentially this is just a series where i get to describe a lot of cool things because descriptions are fun for me and i don’t get to do them enough. Hope u like it :3

Relationships: Royality, mentioned platonic logicality and platonic logince.

Warnings: Lots of Prose (seriously i went insane i think, this is flowery and sappy as hell), Remus makes a sex joke at one point, there is a small argument, food mention. Idk this one’s just sweet and unrelentingly fluffy.

Word Count: 3,216

Daylight streamed in through the wide windows, casting golden and bright beams across the carpeted floor and the various pieces of furniture. The patches of light were warm, comfortably so, and there wasn’t a cloud to disrupt it. Such perfect weather conditions were only mirroring the sunshine out in the real world, but Roman couldn’t help but feel that it was made especially to fit the mood in the Mindpalace. That was to say; sunny and blanketing. 

Music lilted through the living room and kitchen, a cheery little ditty chosen by Patton. It was pleasant, melodic, and not too loud to disturb the peace. Though this ‘Ingrid Michaelson’ woman wasn’t exactly Roman’s usual taste, he couldn’t help the bright smile that curved on his lips at the tunes. 

‘Relaxing days’ were a mostly foreign concept to the Sides of Sander. Someone was always either a), stressed out of their mind with work, or b), starting arguments and generally being disruptive. But today was a miracle, a dreamy noon wherein everyone was happy and sociable with each other. A once-in-a-blue-moon occurrence that everyone was keen to take advantage of, all six of them spread out in the common room to enjoy each other’s company. 

Logan was sitting on the couch, enthusiastically infodumping with Janus, the subject of the discussion requiring many big words and drawn-out sentences to explain (most of which sort of gave Roman a headache trying to think about, so he mostly tuned them out). Remus was lounging almost calmly on the floor by the two left-brained traits’ feet, an enormous sketchbook propped up on the coffee table in front of him. He interjected into the conversation constantly with irrelevant and explicit additions, but nobody seemed to mind letting him lead them on tangents. Virgil had twisted into one of his contortionist-esque positions in the corner of the couch, his headphones stuck over his ears. Occasionally he’d slip one side back, listen briefly to the current topic, chip in some snarky comment, and then go back into his own little world. But regardless, he was still offering his presence, which was well enough. 

Then finally, there was Patton. He flitted between the kitchen and the living room, swaying with the songs and singing along without much care what key he was in. He smiled so wide that his already prevalent smile lines were surely deepening even more, his eyes pushed so far up in the corners that it seemed cartoonish as the light glinted off his big, square glasses. The mouth-watering aroma of whatever it was he was baking filled both rooms, something rich and chocolatey with just a hint of lemon. 

Patton wore a stained apron overtop his soft-colored clothes, all of which were bulky and the precise opposite of form-fitting. He was the furthest thing from a fashion icon in that respect, but the way he didn’t seem to care either way rendered that fact entirely irrelevant; he looked perfect. His pitchy singing only quieted when he jumped into the conversation with a handful of jokes, which Roman always laughed at (even though he definitely wasn’t paying enough attention to understand any of them. Needless to say, he was a little distracted). 

Beautiful, adorable, precious, and countless other flattering adjectives were the words Roman would use to describe Patton in that moment. And most other moments. God, he was practically perfect in every way, wasn’t he?

The wonderful day, the lively company, and Roman’s own overwhelming affection for his oblivious friend swirled together in an almost painful surge of emotion in the Creative side. It filled up his chest, pushing hard against his ribs and making him feel even more brainless than usual. His heart felt more breakable than glass, but it only served to remind Roman that the object of his affections would never take advantage and break it, making the feeling more of a comfort than a concern.

In the end Roman could not bear the emotion quietly, rising to his feet and striding across the room as theatrically as he could. He was bursting into song before he knew it, thankfully familiar enough with the lyrics of Time Machine to belt it out like he was on a stage. 

Virgil slipped one headphone off his ear just long enough to groan at Roman, tossing a throw pillow in his vague direction.

“Dude, chill, can’t you just be happy without being loud?”

Roman shrugged, stopping in his path to the kitchen to lean over his best friend and tap the volume button on his headphones. 

“If it bothers you such, feel free to drown me out!”

Virgil hissed at him, but he was already waltzing away.

Roman slipped through the open wall and onto the kitchen counter, sliding along it elegantly, hopping down to stand near the stove.

The side spun around with a grin and a laugh, silencing his own mumbled version of the lyrics at Roman’s much louder singing. 

As he fell into place beside Patton- gorgeous, giggly Patton- an instrumental hit.

“Dance with me?” Roman asked in a slow, sultry voice (determinedly ignoring the laughing and groaning from the other sides as they overheard), his hand outstretched to the breath-taking creature before him.

“Oh, I'd love to, Roman, but the batter-”

“We can wait a little longer for sweet treats, Patton Dear- dance with me!”

Patton bit his lip through a smile, round eyes flitting between the oven and Roman himself. After trying and failing miserably to look reluctant, he huffed a little laugh and turned the oven off, shoving the batter-filled pan to the back of the counter. Roman watched as he moved, keeping his arm out and a charming smirk on his lips. 

Patton turned back around. He met his gaze. And he placed his hand in Roman’s. 

The response was immediate as Roman swept Patton up in his arms. It was surely a humorous sight, Roman leading the dance even though he was much shorter than Patton, but he was perfectly aware that if he let the taller being lead then they'd both be tripping over their feet in mere seconds. 

Roman twirled them around the small kitchen, crooning along to the peppy little love song that had replaced the previous number. Patton was making a good effort to sing along, but he wasn’t getting many words out through his laughter. Roman hardly minded the tunelessness, as long as he was graced with the sound and sight of that exuberant giggle. 

The limited space grew to be too little quickly for the pair, who’s movements got more flowy and circular. Clumsily, they maneuvered into the living room, dancing around the coffee table with some struggle. 

“Do you two have to do that in here?” Logan sent them a half-hearted glare, clearly not that annoyed with the display- but if there was one thing he was good at, it was acting aloof. 

Roman scrunched his face at the logical side, twirling Patton with a flourish out of spite.  Logan rolled his eyes, turning back to his and Janus’ (and to a lesser extent, Remus’) debate. 

Patton and Roman continued to dance, carefully avoiding the minefield of furniture and discarded items on the floor, for a good few minutes. Just as what would be their third song began, Patton brought them to a stop.

“Can I lead? Just for a second, I wanna do something!”

Roman quirked a brow, a confused smile on his lips. His curiosity nearly took control, desperate to ask what Patton meant, but at the look in Patton’s eyes he got the distinct impression that he wouldn’t want the surprise to be spoiled. 

With a decisive nod, Roman moved his hands from the sides hips to rest on his shoulders. Patton’s hands settled on Roman’s waist with a secure grip. Patton took a breath, a determined and focused look crossing his face as he went through the steps. One, two, three, a twirl, one, two, three, and then-

And then Patton dipped him.

Roman wrapped his arms around Patton’s shoulders instinctively, a startled laugh bubbling up from his throat. He needn't have worried about being dropped, though, as Patton's strong arms curved tight and supportive around him, cradling him desperately near to the moral trait’s chest. 

Warmth flooded Roman, starting in his sternum and spreading out, out, outwards, so much so that he could barely hold it all. His skin was flushed hot, especially in the places where Morality touched it. Along with the physical heat, there was also the almost painful adoration burning in him- and that smug little smile on Patton's face, slowly slipping into something softer and sweeter, Lord. It was too much to handle, and Roman felt like he was losing himself in it. His mind felt fuzzy and his body light-weight, blissfully unaware of his surroundings. Oh, he was just glowing, basking in it. 

No, wait- he was glowing. Literally! 

Actually, no, he wasn’t glowing, Patton was! No, both of them were? Or was it just one? No- yes- but then, there was only one of them. Where was Patton- no, Roman?

He opened his eyes, a gasp escaping him. 

Who was he?

He was tall, certainly taller than Roman, but even taller than Patton, too. He could just reach up and touch the ceiling if he really wanted, pressing his full palm against it. His four full palms, actually, that were attached to his four full arms. One set in the usual place, the second set placed just below them. God- nuh-uh!- Goodness, he was something else. 

His hands were big and flat, with thick, stubby fingers. That matched his general physique indeed, as despite his height he was very wide. His stomach was round and prominent, his thighs even bigger, and even his arms were flabby. But all of the fat was very obviously sitting over impressive muscles- if he flexed, there surely wouldn’t be a part of him that wasn’t sturdy and stiff. Considering that Patton and Roman were the two bulkiest sides, that wasn’t exactly shocking.

His outfit was ornate- and yet it was remarkably soft, falling in waves of fabric down his body, but clinging in all the appropriate places. Sheer, pale-blue sleeves hung well past his hands, slits running up the inside of them all the way to the elbow. The transparent material revealed smatters of freckles all over his skin, right down to the backs of his hands. 

His sleeves connected to an eggshell-white blouse, which sported shining golden buttons about the chest and collar. There was a shining yellow belt, then, from beneath which spilled a flowing and slightly ruffled white skirt. This, too, was accented with golden buttons looping around the hem. The brown leather tips of his shoes were just visible from underneath it. And the final component to the ensemble was his scarf, plush, hugging around his neck and shoulders, the color a deep crimson, shot through with streaks and speckles of gray. 

He was engrossed in his new form, examining himself with a seemingly ever-growing self-love. It took him quite a while to notice the hush that had fallen over the room, brought on by his presence. 

He glanced up with a start, seeing four pairs of incredulous eyes trained on him. 

“Oh, um,” he offered a small wave, “Hi?”

There was a beat.

Janus was the first to reply, stone-faced and blunt:

“What the fuck.”

“Yeah, I second that?” Virgil had pulled his headphones down around his neck, sitting up normally for once, posed tense as if he were about to stand. 

He- what was his name? He really ought to have one, seeing as he existed now!- Well, regardless, The Currently-Unnamed Side cleared his throat. He stood up a little straighter, flashing a wide smile for his audience. If he was going to be anything, it would be someone who made an excellent first impression. 

“Goodness gracious- it is just a pleasure to meet all of you! I’d really love to get to know you all better, but first I would really like to get to know myself. What am I, exactly?”

Logan jumped to his feet at once, his eyes sparkling like little stars. He was across the room and inspecting Currently-Unnamed in just a few long strides, pulling at the side’s arms and examining his face. He even pushed up C.U.’s oversized glasses to get a closer look at his eyes.

C.U. politely allowed the poking and prodding, knowing that Logan would probably be able to explain the situation. (Ah! There was one thing to know about himself; he admired Logan greatly.) 

The rest of the sides had gathered, one-by-one, to form a semi-circle around the new entity. They kept a respectful distance- well, mostly. Remus deigned to walk right up and audibly sniff C.U., which he was not a fan of (part of him was annoyed, but another, louder part of himself felt strongly amicable towards the trait. He’d have to talk more to his sibling- half-sibling?- later, then.)

The stunned silence was growing to be a bit awkward, as was all of the scrutiny C.U. faced. On one hand: attention!!!! On the other hand: attention… 

“You,” Logan spoke at last, an air of importance in his tone, “Seem to be some sort of fusion created between Patton and Roman.”

There was a respectable amount of gasping.

“A fusion?!” C.U. exclaimed, as though it hadn’t been so very obvious what he was, “We can do that?!”

“Evidently,” Logan was barely hiding his own excitement at the situation, smiling widely. 

“Oh- Oh my gosh! That’s awesome! I’m awesome! And awe-inspiring! And- and- and-” he sucked in a deep, gasping breath, and the word appeared in his mind as clear as a neon sign, “PATRON!”

“... Patron?” Janus muttered, looking him over appraisingly. 

“Yes, it’s a name- my name! That’s my name,” Patron confirmed with a nod, grinning broadly at nothing in particular. 

“We need to find out more about this,” Logan summoned a small notebook and pencil, flipping it open with one hand. “Now, given that we’re imaginary figments, it’s entirely possible that this is a result of Thomas’ affection for the show Steven Universe. It could be that his obsession incidentally resulted in granting us these, ah, abilities, via him subconsciously projecting elements of the show onto us. Or, it could be viewed as an extension of our abilities to shapeshift! Perhaps there’s more-”

“TEACH ME HOW TO DO IT!” Remus howled at Patron, draping himself over the much taller being. Patron gave him an indulging smile- it was only slightly strained- and opened his mouth to say he didn’t exactly know how he’d managed to fuse. 

“Wait,” Virgil interrupted, “How do we know if this is safe? What if they get stuck that way and we can’t get them out?”

“Well, the best way to figure it out is to study it, which is what I was saying,” Logan gestured to his little notebook.

“I’m just not sure about this.”

“When are you sure about anything?” Janus snarked, earning a hiss from Virgil. He hissed back, and it was unclear if it was playful or actually aggressive. Both sides then devolved into making senseless feral sounds at each other, disrupting pretty much any chance of civil conversation. 

“Who cares if it’s safe?” Remus spoke, mostly to himself, “It looks like fun.”

“It would benefit us to learn how it works before we-”

“That takes time, though-”

There was a particularly shrill hiss from Janus, exacerbating both of the budding arguments. It was headache-inducing.

“Okay!” Patron said, his voice surprisingly commanding. Immediately the squabbling silenced, the others looking guiltily in his direction. He coughed, suddenly unsure how to use this newfound power.  “Okay…” What was he saying? Oh, right- “You guys can keep arguing about me, if you wanna, but I think I’m going to go get to know myself a little better, before worrying about- any of that, actually.”

He extricated himself from the group. 

“Ooohh, get to know yourself, you say?” Remus winked. 

Patron was torn between laughing or maybe kicking him, so he settled for a nice middle ground.

“Shut up,” he slowly sunk out, “Please,” he added politely, as he left the living room behind him entirely. 

The room he rose up in was foreign and familiar in conjunction. He knew, immediately, that this was his home- one that had existed for about three seconds, but a home nonetheless. 

It felt like a dream. 

Happiness washed over Patron as soon as he arrived, it felt like walking on clouds. His vision was pleasantly hazy as he looked over the comfy-cozy room, filled to every corner with wonderful plush furniture. Every surface was patterned with flowers and lace and gold; every bit of them was as soft as loose spools of cotton and fluff. 

Patron went wide-eyed as he took it all in, smelling sweet candy, fresh roses, and earth. Almost unconsciously, he fell onto a loveseat, curling himself up in the pillows and blankets arranged on it. The lights were warm and soft, casting the room in a bubblegum-pink glow. Somewhere, distantly, music played.

“Oh, this is so pretty,” he whispered to himself. It didn’t feel like just himself, though. 

He couldn’t remember the last time either of his components had felt this way. This particular brand of contentment. The polar opposite of lonely. He felt… loved.

Patron laughed softly to himself, and it was a melody.

“I guess that answers that,” he laced his hands together, both sets, “You must adore each other, for me to love being me as much as I do.”

He imagined that the ‘revelation’ would embarrass the stuffing out of his components. They might be shy of each other, even. But, whole as he was, there was really no need to feel any embarrassment when he knew perfectly both of their perspectives. Yet again, Patton and Roman find a short-cut that means they don’t have to actually talk about their feelings! 

He laughed again, mostly at his own expense. 

“There’s one mystery solved,” Patron hummed, laying his head down upon the arm of the loveseat. His glasses were knocked up on his face, ones that he was only half-used to having, so he took them off and carefully placed them on the coffee table. It was already littered with various other objects; bright pink and pastel blue fidget toys, small bottles of nail polish, adult coloring books, small ceramic animal figurines- all of which he found himself immediately affectionate about.

Every item in the room seemed to give him a little bit more information about himself. Little things he knew intrinsically that he adored, things that hinted at his dislikes, tiny contradictions everywhere. It was almost overwhelming.

Patron huffed out a breath, sinking his fingers into foamy pillows beneath him. Before he knew it, his near-sighted eyes had fallen closed. He thought that, perhaps, it would be nice to learn about himself on his own terms. To take things slow. 

There would likely be a lot to figure out when he unfused, but unfortunately/fortunately for Patron, both of his components were quite the procrastinators, content to bask in this for as long as they wanted.

(I feel I should say that it’s pronounced “PAH-tron” not like the actual word patron haha.)

Taglist: @shrimp-crockpot @glitter-skeleton-uwu @donnieluvsthings @intruxiety @thefivecalls @did-he-just-hiss-at-me @gayformlessblob 

[aion-rsa]

How TCM Resurrects Plan 9 from Outer Space for Ghoulish Table Read

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UFOs are often visible, but not always. Sometimes they make noise, sometimes they are silent. If you’ve never seen a flying saucer, that is proof they are everywhere. This is one of the many amazing things we learn in TCM’s upcoming table read of Ed Wood’s masterwork, Plan 9 from Outer Space.

We once laughed at the horseless carriage, the aero-plane, the telephone, the electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television. But it took a while to get the joke about Plan 9 from Outer Space. Written and directed by Edward D. Wood Jr. in 1959, it was a little-known independent film with a direct line through directors who carried on the DIY-filmmaking spirit like John Cassavetes, Melvin Van Peebles and John Waters. The Cult of Plan 9 began when Ed Wood was posthumously awarded a Golden Turkey Award for Worst Director of All Time in 1980. Though this has been disputed.

Turner Classic Movies is the go-to channel for prestigious films. You can always count on a showing of The Treasure of Sierra Madre or The Public Enemy, or Citizen Kane. But top prize in the Golden Turkey awards carries its own prestige.

“This isn’t ‘Plans One Through Eight from Outer Space,’” Jerry Seinfeld proclaimed at the Chinese restaurant in a 1991 episode of Seinfeld. “This is Plan 9. The one that worked. The worst movie ever made.”

The SF Sketchfest presentation was adapted for the stage and virtual stage by former The Simpsons writer, and self-proclaimed Ed Wood superfan, Dana Gould. He and his Stan Against Evil co-star Janet Varney have been acting in live staged reads with a revolving cast of eager comic actors for over three years. The Zoom production also features Kat Aagesen, Bob Odenkirk, Bobcat Goldthwait, Oscar Nuñez, Deborah Baker Jr., Maria Bamford, David Koechner, Jonah Ray, Paul F. Tompkins, Baron Vaughn, and Gary Anthony Williams. The miniature visual effects, which are by no means just cardboard cutouts, were done by Mike Carano, and the sounds of musical accompaniment came out of Eban Schletter.

Laraine Newman is the narrator. She brings Gould’s adapted stage directions to such vivid life they can reanimate the dead, which is a key element of the actual plan at the center of the cult movie. Originally titled “Grave Robbers from Outer Space,” the film marked the last appearance of Bela Lugosi, who had also acted in Wood’s 1953 feature Glen or Glenda.

Lugosi’s footage for Wood’s unmade film “The Vampire’s Tomb,” was repurposed for Plan 9. Lugosi died of a heart attack on Aug. 16, 1956. To complete the film, Wood cast his chiropractor, Tom Mason, who in spite of his professional familiarity with the human skeletal structure, somehow believed he could mask the fact that he was much taller than the horror icon by pulling his cape over his face.

The table read of Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space is part of TCM’s Classic Film Festival weekend, which runs through May 9. For easy comparisons, the original film will air directly after the event. Dana Gold and Janet Varney spoke with Den of Geek about refurbishing the low-budget cult classic, and how, like their predecessor, they proudly spared every expense on its new décor.

Den of Geek: I watched the table read a second time while playing Plan 9 in another window, and I just have to say, recreating those sets must’ve cost a fortune.

Janet Varney: Yeah, just like it cost Ed Wood a fortune.

Dana Gould: That’s the genius of, of Mike Carano. All those things were this big. You can see, I have the Bela Lugosi statue and the saucer. What he did was so amazing, and it really brought [the production] up to be better than it had a right to be. When Janet and I discussed doing this on Zoom, we were like, “Well, how do we take the limits of Zoom and turn them to our advantage? Why is it on Zoom?” By doing it, one, it allowed us to get a cast that we might not be able to get. Got people in different places. Maria Bamford was in Minnesota. Bob Odenkirk was in Vancouver. So, we could get people that normally we couldn’t get. Doing it in black and white helped. And then what Mike Marano did, it made it something unique.

Janet Varney: I would just also add, as a tribute to Ed Wood, we’ve never had anyone that we’ve asked to do the show who hasn’t wanted to do the show. Whether or not they’ve been in town for the live version, every person that we love that we’ve asked to be a part of the cast at one time or another is like, “Oh, my God, I need to do that. I want to do it. When is it? Please say it’s not a date I’m out of town. Please say it’s not. Will you ask me on the next one?”

Everyone knows this movie. And the idea of getting to step into its shoes in any kind of iteration is really exciting for every single person that we’ve ever asked.

Dana Gould: And it’s great to see how different people play different parts. Joel Murray plays the General different than David Koechner plays the General. Bob Odenkirk plays Eros differently than Patton Oswalt plays Eros. It’s always great. And Janet and I, we don’t want to know what you’re going to do. Just do it.

For this production, you assembled the all-star team. But were you ever tempted to use the same kind of players Wood used: wrestlers, tap dancing accordion players, chiropractors, and radio psychics?

Janet Varney: That’s a great question. I feel like we also have pretty good access to all those folks. So maybe that will get the next variety version. Because our friend, Jim Turner, is just about to do a fundraiser for the kind of variety acts who have been struggling in this last year, because of the many myriad things that they do.

So, I actually love that idea, Tony. And you’re right, it would be a totally different experience. That’s an interesting idea too, because we do come at it with a bunch of people who love the movie, but there’s also some major winking going on, as all the comedians and actors try to lean into being: “It’s my first time on stage, maybe my first time saying words,” really playing that up.

In the future, do you hope to see this performance eviscerated on Mystery Science Fiction Theater 3000?

Dana Gould: That would be great. If they did this.

Janet Varney: Especially because Bill and Kevin have done it. They have been in our production of Plan 9. Bill had been what Laraine [Newman] did. Bill did the narration at a show, at SketchFest, and it was great.

Dana Gould: I would like to see Jonah making fun of himself.

Janet Varney: Yeah. Let’s get meta. Our fans can handle it. Fans of MST3K can handle it. Plant 9 fans can handle it. Everybody could handle it.

I know I’m paraphrasing Seinfeld, but as the person who’s trusted with Plan 9 and all that comes with that, did you get to see the first eight plans from outer space?

Janet Varney: And are you allowed to talk about it if you did?

Dana Gould: Exactly. What were they?

Janet Varney: So many questions.

Dana Gould: So many questions.

Were the first eight plans rejected?

Janet Varney: Or were they all executed? And I use that word purposefully. Were all of those plans executed and they didn’t have great results?

Dana Gould: That’s a drunk man at a typewriter, “Plan 9 sounds good.” I remember showing Plan 9 to somebody who’d never seen it before. And they turned to me afterwards and said, “Did he not have any friends he could have shown this to and gotten notes?” He didn’t have those kinds of friends.

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What are some of your favorite mistakes from the movie?

Janet Varney: Oh, God. I was going to say Dana had mentioned that the first time he saw the movie was on a video cassette that Tom Kenny and Dan Spencer, and Bobcat Goldthwait showed him. And I was actually going to ask, did you think it was the tape glitching at the end when the monologue goes from, blip to [makes a noise]? And you’re like, “Wait a minute. Back that up, hold on. Is somebody going to fix this?”

That’s definitely one. That’s a spectacularly new, weird problem in a movie that was not a consistent problem. So, you’re like, “Wait, how did that happen one time, in this very, very overt way?” So good.

Dana Gould: From the very beginning, it’s like the first time you saw William Shatner do “Rocket Man.” I remember, I had a party at my house, and I was working on The Ben Stiller Show, and everybody was there. And back then, there was no YouTube. You would just have these cassette tapes with all of the weird stuff that you had collected on it, like the farting priest and all these weird things that you had, and “Rocket Man.” And I remember showing “Rocket Man” at this thing and Bob Odenkirk just shouting at my television, “You’re a grown man. You’re a grown man.”

I always thought Shatner gave the same line reading for “Mr. Tambourine Man” as he did for “Kahn.”

Dana Gould: Yes, he did. He did. He had a couple of tricks, and he used them. Yeah. There’s one direction he doesn’t get a lot, “You want to just try one big? You want to just see how it goes?” “Take the chains off and let it rip?”

Was some of the background music in this reading, especially the oxidation bit, inspired by The Simpsons?

Dana Gould: That’s all Eban [Schletter, the musical accompanist], you have to ask Eban. But again, that’s great, especially the Solaronite song. Necessity being the mother of invention, that is a brutal chunk of dialogue for anybody, a thankless, brutal chunk. And every time I give it to Paul, I say, “I’m apologizing ahead of time. I give it to you because I don’t want anybody else to do it. Because if it was anybody else, it would be death.”

Eban came up with that. And we were just like, “Maybe we can break this up. Maybe there’s a way to break this up.” And then Eban came up with that kind of thing. And it is one of those things that I love, that it’s like a mutant. It’s grown into its own weird thing to solve its inherent problems. You can’t describe it to anybody. It’s just like, you have to see it.

I used to remember describing Kevin Meaney, the comedian. I used to just tell people, “I can’t describe what he does. You just have to see him, but then you’ll know. You only need a minute, and you’ll get it. But I can’t describe it to you.” That’s really a good analogy.

Laraine Newman, I believe, steals this as the narrator. How much of that is improvised and how much of that is written by you? Because I know that you wrote the stage directions.

Dana Gould: It’s written, but Laraine, I call it “newscaster flat.” Laraine knows how the notes need to be played. It’s like the Wrecking Crew, you have a guitar behind you. I don’t know what Tommy Tedesco is going to play, but I know it’s going to be good. I don’t know what Carol Kaye is going to play, but I trust it. It’s the same thing. It’s a murderers’ row, and I wouldn’t have the gall to tell them what to do.

Janet Varney: It takes a very specific kind of confidence as a performer to be that deadpan. It’s such a specific skill. And it’s a skill, I think, born out of a type of bravado and expertise that’s all just tightly contained in this tiny space, where she’s not trying to sell any of it. And that is the genius behind what she does is just letting it lay out there like that. I mean, it’s hard.

When you have something that you know is funny and you would be laughing yourself, if you were listening to someone else read it, it’s so hard not to want to sell it. Like, can I make this even funnier? And she’s like, “No, I need to take it all the way back, to the back of the house just like, who me, who me? I’m just reading these things.” And it’s just so brilliant.

Dana Gould: This is a person that did sketches on live television with John Belushi and Bill Murray. So she definitely knows where her center of gravity is.

Janet Varney: That’s right. Well said.

Dana Gould: And yeah, again, unflinching. And that takes, as a performer, just like a little inside baseball, a lot of control and to really, to have control of your own ego, to know that I’m going to get what I want by stepping way back. I mean, Sterling Hayden is the only person I’ve ever seen blow Peter Sellers off the screen. And he does it just by, he’s like a statue, but there’s so much weight to it.

In the original movie, I love the “Criswell Predicts.” So I wanted to ask, Janet, do you get asked to do bathroom readings?

Janet Varney: I would if asked, I would love to. That’s one of the things that’s great about Ed Wood in general too, is just having this a sort of fascination with the occult and that kind of thing. And the way that it fits into camp is so appealing. And so, yeah, I would very happily jump back into some bad psychic practices if I could. Hopefully, I will someday.

Dana Gould: And an unerring dedication to Wicker furnishings.

Janet Varney: That’s right. Always that. Paula and her wicker.

Because the table read is done during COVID and everyone feels an immediacy to Zoom calls, were you ever at all concerned about an Orson Welles’ scenario, where the residents of San Fernando Valley will believe they’re under attack by flying saucers from outer space?

Janet Varney: If only.

Dana Gould: Yeah. That’s the least of our problems out here. I don’t know when you visited last time, but the walking dead, they’re around.

The table read of Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space airs on Friday, May 7 at 8pm on TCM. Plan 9 from Outer Space airs at 9:30pm.

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[vintage-squid]

The Fruits of Love

Summary: "When we first met, you thought I was a pompous airhead and I thought you were nothing short of insufferable. If anyone had told me then I would one day spend my mornings waking up in your arms and kissing your illegally handsome face, I’d have told them to take a long walk off a short pier." Logan can't believe the wedding is finally happening, but even his nerves can't stop him from marrying the prince of his dreams.

Pairings: Logan/Roman, brotherly Virgil/Logan, background Virgil/Deceit/Patton

Rating: G Warnings: a whole heckin lotta fluff  On AO3

I realized I never posted this to tumblr lol, so here yall go 

-----

Logan exhaled deep and slow as he took one final look at himself in the full-length mirror. He smoothed his hands over the skirt of his dress, trying to focus on the sensation of smooth silk and textured ruffle rather than the clammy chill that had settled into his palms. The layers over his hips accented his low curves, holding him in an embrace as comforting as his fiance did each night. There was not a crinkle to be found in the fabric, nor a hair out of place from his wavy curls, and yet he felt as disheveled as the dressing room around him, which had been cleared of his half of their wedding party only moments before as they scrambled to get the finishing touches of their outfits in order before the ceremony.

Now, the groom-to-be was alone with his thoughts and a raising heart rate. He could do this, there was no reason for the flush of nervousness that sent a cool tingly sensation to the tips of his manicured fingers and toes (styled like miniature galaxies, of course, his brother was an exceptional artist, even with nail polish). There were less people out there than in any of his lectures, and all of the audience would be close friends and family, and yet...and yet…

He startled when someone softly knocked on the door, looking over his shoulder to see his brother, and best man, peeking in.

“You almost ready?” Virgil asked, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. With what was likely a pitiful expression, Logan turned and reached for his older brother. Virgil didn’t hesitate to step closer, gathering him close. He cupped Logan’s face, smoothing his thumbs over his brother’s cheeks and drawing him close to touch their foreheads together. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay, LB. The love of your life is waiting for you out there, annoying as ever, but looking damn good too. Just don’t tell him I said that, or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Logan huffed a small laugh, both at Virgil’s never-ending rivalry with his fiance, and the childhood nickname he would never shake - not that he wanted to. LB. Logan Baras. Little Brother. Logan Berries. Lotsa Binch. Really, it was getting ridiculous at this point, but it was an in-joke that had been evolving since they were in grade school. It was also part of the reason why Logan had asked to keep his last name, or hyphenate the two, after the wedding; he couldn’t bear to part with such an ingrained part of himself. Thankfully, Baras-Sanders rolled off the tongue quite nicely, in his opinion.

He raised his hands, mirroring his elder brother’s position to cradle Virgil’s face in turn. “I swear that will remain between you and I, else I will never hear the end of his gloating over your compliment either.” The pair chuckled before Logan trailed off with a sigh. “I .. I am…” A second shaky exhale. “I’m anxious, VB.” Virgil Baras. Very (Big) Brother. Vigilant Bro-tector. Vain Bastard. An eye for an eye, as they say. “I know our friends and family support our relationship, but many of them are unaware that I will be wearing a dress and make-up! Not to mention how unorthodox our choice of venue is - I can’t believe I let him talk me into hosting our wedding at his theater, and -”

“Hey!” Virgil’s low voice cut him off with a small shake of his head. “Hey... it’s my job to be the worry-wart here, remember? Deep breaths, okay? And stop chewing on your lip! Do you know how long it took me to get that ombre just right?”

Logan rolled his eyes, but obliged; he really didn’t want to sit through another session of his brother’s perfectionist fussing.

“Now, you look fucking amazing. Like damn gurl, slay it.” Virgil’s deadpanned drawl in a mockery of their mutual friend, Remy, had Logan snorting a giggle. “But seriously, LB, I can promise you that everyone out there is going to be stunned at how gorgeous this dress is, and how radiant you are… and no one more than that idiot you fell in love with. You’re gonna walk out there, and Za is gonna be with you to walk you down the aisle, and mom will be crying, and I’m gonna waiting on stage too, but you’re only gonna have eyes for the man you are marrying today.”

With a shaky smile and watery eyes, Logan lunged forward to wrap is older brother in a tight hug, burying his face into the crook of the other’s shoulder. “The proper pronunciation is ‘going to’, and I love you so goddamn much, VB.” Pulling back, he cycled a deep breath, and squeezed Virgil’s upper arms gently. “Thank you. Now, I believe we have a wedding to attend.”

Walking out of the dressing room arm-in-arm, the brothers snuck around the side doors so they could enter the theatre from the foyer with the rest of the wedding party. The assorted group of groomsmen, groomsladies, and friends of honour turned as they approached, the other best man breaking away to sweep Logan into a hug.

“Oh Lolo! You look stunning!” Patton pulled back, stars in his eyes as he looked over the whorls of colour covering the ballgown-style dress. “Wow…. This dress is absolutely perfect on you! And it matches your pretty make-up! Oh!! This is so wonderful!!” He fanned his face, trying to hold back the tears that were already threatening to fall. “I can’t believe you two are finally getting married!”

A blush graced Logan’s cheeks with a soft smile. “I cannot either; it feels like a dream come true.”

“Speaking of the wedding - we really need to get that started here, people!” A voice cut in, drawing the group’s attention to the ring-and-flower bearer of the ceremony. Denali approached the trio, slipping their hands into both Virgil and Patton’s. Their outfit was a delightful mix of both their genders: the tighter bodice giving way to a flared coattail-skirt with striped pants matched well with their colourful make-up - done on only one half of their face. The ensemble was completed with a wide-brimmed hat topped with an extravagantly flowing feather. “I love that you’re all being cutesy over here, I really do, but I don’t want to have to listen to Roman whine later that we left him standing at the altar. So-” They raised their voice, addressing the wedding party as a whole. “I need everyone to buddy up and line up! We have some gay nerds who need to get married!”

With a wave to cue the sound operator, the music began. A chuckle rippled through the crowd as they recognized the entrance music as a slowed version of the Lord of the Rings’ iconic theme. Virgil and Patton grinned at one another and planted a kiss on both of Denali’s cheeks simultaneously before linking arms and striding into the theater. Two by two, the rest of the wedding party followed, walking down the center aisle through the audience, and parting at the stage to walk up the stairs on each side. Their lines met once more to either side of Roman and the officiant, an array of suits and dresses in colours accenting the grooms’. Denali completed the proceeding on his own, tossing flower petals with a flourish so grand one would almost believe this was their wedding.

Then, the room faded into silence, and, as the opening notes of the original 1963 Doctor Who opening theme (stylized for a wedding procession, of course) played out, Logan rounded the corner. Arm linked with his Za, and a bouquet accented with peacock feathers held in his other hand, the groom looked ethereal in the spotlight. The blues and greys of his dress and make-up sparkled as he made his way past the most important people in his and Roman’s life, and if he had been able to look away from Roman’s eyes for a moment, he would have seen only love and awe radiating back from them.

Logan hugged his Za tightly as they stopped in front of the stage, smiling with tears in his eyes as his beloved parent tipped his head down to kiss his forehead. When Roman stepped down the stairs at center stage, his burgundy suit and silver filigree circlet lending him the regal air of royalty he had always hoped to achieve, his soon-to-be Za-in-law pulled him into a hug too. Ze guided the grooms’ hands together, squeezing them gently with a smile, and stepped back to sit with zir wife to watch as they officially welcomed another son into their lives.

Ever the gentleman, Roman helped his beloved up the steps, ensuring the skirt of his dress didn’t get caught under the practical blue flats Logan had chosen to wear. Thankfully, there was no train to wrangle, as it was an excess of fabric that Logan had no desire to waste or trip over. As they took their places, Virgil stepped forward to take the bouquet, letting the grooms hold both hands with matching smiles.

Clearing his throat, the officiant - and theater owner, and close friend of Roman’s - Thomas, began the ceremony.

“Mawage.” A smirk was tugging at his lips as both grooms’ jaws dropped. “Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam…” Slowly, Logan began to grin, Roman already biting his lip to muffle his giggles. “And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva..” Of course Thomas had chosen to quote the movie they had watched together on their first date. “So tweasure your wuv.”

The entire wedding party was giggling now, as well as a fair number in the audience. Thomas, looking far too pleased with himself, continued in his normal, exuberant tone. “I truly believe the pair standing before us today not only each embody the beautiful magic that blossoms in the heart when one has found true love, but they choose each and every day to work together to care for those precious gardens. They shared carefully tended clippings made from their vulnerabilities and strengths, their fears and their trust, and lovingly incorporated these parts of their partner into their hearts. At times, yes, there were weeds which needed to be pulled. Some just needed to be identified to deal with, while others required both of them pulling with all their might to remove. Those deep roots could have left holes in their gardens, but instead, our handsome grooms chose to fill in the spaces so new seedlings could begin to grow. The literal fruits of their labour have culminated here today, as they promise themselves to one another for the rest of their lives.”

Smiling widely, Thomas retrieved a ring box from the pocket of his suit and held it out. “Roman, I can tell you are absolutely bursting with the need to profess your love right now. We’ll let you say your vows first then.” A laugh rippled through the crowd, Logan snickering too as his betrothed shrugged with a sheepish smile but did not deny the claim.

With his fingers cupped under Logan’s, cradling and supporting them, Roman held up their joined hands and kissed his knuckles. “Hey nerd,” he began, drawing another laugh from their friends and family, and a smiling eye-roll from his beloved. “I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to be the one standing up here with you today. When we first met, you thought I was a pompous airhead and I thought you were nothing short of insufferable. If anyone had told me then I would one day spend my mornings waking up in your arms and kissing your illegally handsome face, I’d have told them to take a long walk off a short pier. But, by Julie Andrews, here we are, and I couldn’t imagine my life without you by my side. You are my greatest joy, my strongest support, and my deepest love. I swear, with every fibre of my being, I will spend everyday striving to be the same for you. I swear to care for you through the good and the bad, to celebrate your victories like they were my own, and to provide for you safety from the noise of the world when all you need is someone on your side. I love you, Logan, this I swear to you.”

Delicately plucking a ring from its satin cushion in the box, Roman cradled Logan’s hand and slipped the band over his left finger. The silver band was inset with three small red stones set on a diagonal, mimicking Orion’s belt - the only constellation Roman could confidently identify for years, frequently and loudly, much to their joined amusement. Woven through the gemstones was a simple silver filigree, and all of which perfectly complemented the engagement ring already at home on Logan’s finger.

If at all possible, Thomas was smiling wider, eyes damp. “Logan? It’s your turn.”

With a sniffle, Logan looked from the wedding band up into the eyes of his love, determined to make it through the ceremony without ruining his make-up. Tenderly, he shifted Roman’s hands so both cradled Logan’s left, around his rings, around their promise. Right hand freed, Logan reached up to cradle Roman’s cheek and smooth his thumb over those sharp cheekbones, accented today with a glittering highlight.

“Roman,” he began, voice a little strained with emotion. “Gods above, Ro, only you and that ridiculously handsome smile of yours could make me forget every carefully planned out word I wanted to say.” The couple shared a chuckle, Roman’s hands tightening briefly around his. “You are every bit the royalty you claim to be. Even now, I cannot recall which one of us began to pursue the other, but I will surely never forget how patient you have been with me through every step of our relationship. Not once have you ever asked more from me than I was willing to share, and nor did you get angry or leave when I requested we slow down because I was scared of how quickly I found myself falling for you. I used to relish in my solitude, in the silence of my own company, but somehow you managed to worm your stubborn way over my walls. You have become a vital part of my life, and I find it unnervingly quiet when you are not around. I cannot even enjoy star-gazing alone anymore! Roman, I need you to know, I would never have it any other way. I swear to care for you through the good and the bad, to celebrate your victories like they were my own, and to provide for you safety from the noise of the world when all you need is someone on your side. I love you, Roman, you truly are the prince of my dreams.”

There was not a dry eye in the theater as Logan retrieved the matching ring to his own from the box and slid it delicately onto Roman’s finger. The equally silver band sat alongside Roman’s engagement ring like it were expressly created to be there. The filigree crept around another trio of gemstones in the same position as Logan’s, though these were coloured a deep blue.

Clutching a hand to his heart, Thomas wiped the tears from his eye. “Roman James Sanders, do you take Logan to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Unable to look away from his love, Roman nodded with a wide smile. “I do.”

“Logan Wilson Baras, do you take Roman to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Logan nodded and squeezed their rejoined hands. “I do.”

“Then by the powers vested in me by the province of British Columbia, I now pronounce you husband and husband! You may kiss the groom!”

Logan had only a moment’s notice at Roman’s shit-eating grin, before he was swung around into a dip, his husband’s - husband!! - knee supporting his back and arms around his shoulder and neck. “You are positively ridiculous,” he muttered, before tugging Roman by the tie to share their first kiss as a wedded couple. Cheers and applause erupted around them, including a wolf-whistle that could have just as easily been from any member of their wedding party.

Straightening, the couple leaned together, Roman’s arm around Logan’s back, hand resting comfortingly on his opposite hip. They grinned, their friends and family standing as Thomas’ voice rang out once more. “Guys, gals, and nonbinary pals, for the first time ever, I present to you Mr. and Mr. Baras-Sanders!”

As a second cheer arose, Virgil stepped over to hand Logan his bouquet again, pulling his brother into a tight hug. “Congrats LB,” he whispered, before standing back and applauding the newly weds.

‘Love you’, Logan mouthed in return, smiling at his brother before turning back to Roman to join their hands and take their first steps into the next adventure of their lives together.

[c-swirlz]

Denial | Sanders Sides Oneshot (Logan ‘Birthday’ Special)

Summary: Logan is still adamant that his ‘birthday’ isn’t November 3rd. However, when his family takes it as seriously as they do, he supposes he can be persuaded otherwise.

OR

Five (5) times Logan insists it isn’t his ‘birthday’ and the one (1) time he doesn’t.

Pairing(s): None

Content/trigger warning(s): Knife

[AO3 link]

|| This was meant to be posted yesterday (because it was November 3rd in my timezone), but I got distracted partway through writing and didn’t finish it in time. Therefore, this is -- technically -- a day late. ||

“Happy Birthday, Logan!”

Logan stared at Patton, utterly perplexed. The paternal Side was grinning brightly, his hands clasped together in front of him as he contently swayed slightly from side to side.

Logan shook his head, breaking himself free of his momentary trance. “Patton, it’s... not my birthday.”

Patton frowned, tilting his head to the side like that of a confused puppy. “Whaddya mean?” The moral Side gasped, bringing his hands up to cover his mouth. “Oh no, did I get the day wrong?! What’s the date?”

Logan summoned a calendar and examined it for a moment before banishing it. “It is the third of November.”

Patton breathed a small sigh of relief as his hands lowered, his shoulders visibly sagging. “Oh, okay, thank goodness--”

Suddenly, a realisation seemed to dawn on Patton, and he stared at Logan.

“Wait. If it is November third, then... why did you say it’s not your birthday?”

Logan’s brow furrowed and his lips pressed into a tight line. “We are not real people. We were not ‘born’ in the same sense Thomas was, therefore none of us technically have a birthday. However, if we were to have one, it would surely be more logical for it to be the same as Thomas’ as we are all fractions of his personality, not individual humans.”

Patton’s frown became impossibly larger, almost becoming a pout. “Aww, but Logan! Just because we aren’t real people doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to have and celebrate our own birthdays!”

Logan shook his head, almost apologetically.

Almost.

“Apologies, Patton, but if you insist on celebrating my ‘birthday’, I would much prefer you wait for Thomas’.”

And with that, Logan turned and walked away. Guilt began creeping in, but he shoved it down. Guilt was an icky, human emotion that Logic didn’t need. He refused to feel it.

That didn’t mean he didn’t want to.

~---~

“Ah, Specs! Fancy seeing you here!”

Logan turned around, his expression neutral as Roman strolled into the kitchen. “Salutations, Roman.” He turned back around and continued preparing his beverage. “We all live here and enter the kitchen quite frequently, so I don’t really understand your latter statement.”

Roman rolled his eyes fondly, walking up to stand next to Logan and lightly punching him playfully in the shoulder. “Nerd.”

“Prep,” Logan responded automatically.

Roman chuckled, gasping quietly as he seemed to remember something. “Oh, by the way, happy birthday!”

Logan made an odd sound in the back of his throat, which Roman picked up on.

“Okay, Patton did tell me you weren’t a fan of the whole birthday thing, but c’mon, Calculator Watch! The sooner you accept your deemed birthdate, the sooner we can celebrate!”

Roman pulled off his iconic pose as he sang the last word, holding for an -- admittedly -- impressively long time on the a.

Logan bit the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from releasing a huff of amused laughter, lifting the cup containing his beverage to his lips and softly blowing on it before taking a sip.

“Your festivities would be wasted, Roman. Why not wait until Virgil’s ‘birthday’? It is only forty-six days away, and I’m sure he would appreciate it so long as you didn’t catch him by surprise.”

Roman opened his mouth to respond, but stopped as Logan turned around and began walking out of the kitchen.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.”

Logan strode towards the stairs, leaving Roman alone downstairs as he travelled up.

The guilt returned.

He ignored it.

~---~

“Oh, Nerdy Wolverine~!”

Logan sighed, barely flinching as a knife was plunged into his shoulder. He simply waved a hand and the blade vanished, the wound healing instantly. A nasally whine rang out, and Logan glanced over his shoulder just as Remus clung onto him, having caught him in the hall as he’d left his room to retrieve a book he’d left downstairs.

“Remus,” Logan greeted.

Remus grinned, waggling his eyebrows. “A little birdie told me it’s a certain nerd’s birthday today~”

Logan grit his teeth. “Patton, I’m assuming?”

Remus snorted. “Yep! But you don’t seem too happy, Specs. What’s up?”

Logan scoffed, rolling his eyes as he pried Remus off his back. “I am quite honestly getting rather sick of explaining it.”

Remus clicked his tongue, picking at his moustache. “Eh, fair enough.” He stopped picking at his moustache and looked back up at Logan, staring at him for a moment before his gaze seemed to drift towards Roman’s door.

“Is dear brother Roman in right now?”

Logan shook his head.

Remus brought his hands together with a loud clap. “Goodie, I can fill his room with my latest creations! He’s sure to love them!”

Remus darted over to Roman’s bedroom door, opening it and stepping inside. He poked his head back out, exclaiming, “See ya, nerd!” before closing the door.

Logan blinked.

That was... odd.

~---~

Logan knew Janus had entered his room before the snakelike Side had even announced his presence.

“Salutations, Janus.”

“Hello, Logan,” Janus replied, adjusting his hat before taking a few strides forward to stand beside the logical Side, who was sitting at his desk typing on his laptop at superhuman speed.

“Tell me, how long has it been since you had something to eat or drink since you started your work?”

Logan stopped typing, but remained silent. That was enough of an answer for Janus.

“I assumed as much.”

Suddenly, there was a glass of water and a Crofter’s sandwich on a plate sitting next to Logan’s laptop, and the ghost of a smile was momentarily visible on his face.

“Ah,” Logan cleared his throat. “Thank you, Janus.”

Janus began examining his gloves where his nails would be underneath. “I have no idea what you mean.”

Logan could see the small smirk on the deceitful Side’s face.

Janus didn’t stick around for long after that, and it wasn’t until he sunk out that Logan realised the serpentine Side hadn’t acknowledged his ‘birthday’ whatsoever.

~---~

As evening rolled in, the card sticky taped to the outside of Logan’s door came as a surprise to him. Curiosity got the better of him, and instead of simply ignoring it like he usually would, he carefully peeled the sticky tape off, removed it, opened the card and read the text inside, which was written in Virgil’s distinctive handwriting.

Hey, L.

I know you think having a birthday’s illogical and all, but I still wanted to wish you a happy one, since... y’know, November 3rd’s considered to be yours.

~ Supreme Dark Overlord of Negative Commerce

Logan’s grip on the card tightened, and he almost crumpled it into a ball as an odd surge of anger washed over him. However, he stopped himself, taking a few regulating breaths before re-entering his room, fuming, though he refused to acknowledge it.

“It. Is. Not. My. Birthday,” he muttered, sitting back down at his desk, opening his laptop and resuming his work.

~---~

A knock on the door aroused Logan from his slumber. Wait, when had he fallen asleep? Apparently only about twenty minutes ago according to his laptop’s clock.

“Logan?”

That was Patton’s voice.

“I know you’re probably really busy right now, but could you please come down to the kitchen?”

Logan didn’t respond, and an awkward silence hung in the air for a moment.

On the other side of the door, Patton sighed. “Well, kiddo, we’ll be waiting... please come down.”

We...?

Logan listened for the sound of Patton’s fading footsteps before venturing out the door, slowly descending the stairs only to glance in the direction of the kitchen and stop in his tracks as he reached the bottom.

Everyone was there: Roman, Patton, Virgil, Janus and Remus. They were all smiling somewhat sheepishly at him, and the logical Side’s eyes were drawn to the cake he could see sitting on the bench behind them.

“Now before you say anything,” Patton said suddenly, breaking the silence, “we know you don’t consider today to be your birthday. However, we consider it to be, and we weren’t about to let the day end without at least making you a cake!”

Logan did have to admit the cake looked rather delicious, but he made sure not to show it. His family were looking at him expectantly, and he allowed his lips to curl up into a small smile. He sighed defeatedly.

“Alright, I suppose I can... embrace my deemed ‘birthday’. For the time being.”

When Logan returned to his room a few hours later to find a small pile of gifts on his bed, he supposed he could cope with November 3rd being his ‘birthday’ despite it being nowhere near Thomas’.

[imtryingthisout]

Sunglasses and Serenity

[a fic inspired by @nachosforfree @sanderssides-magicalgirlau check them out]

[Warnings: Descriptions of a Panic Attack]

[Pairing: Sleepxiety]

[Word Count: 2283]

——————————————————————

It was not a quiet night. The sky above was dark, the pearly stars hidden behind the neon verbosity of downtown. 24 hour shops and businesses had windows that never dimmed, pinpricks of artificial lightings blurred together creating an abstract mess of blended color.

The moon itself was distorted by the light pollution. It’s natural autumn glow paled in comparison to the vibrancy of the busy streets.

Remy both loved and hated it.

Growing up with summers spent in his family’s old Villa in Italy, secluded in a valley side miles away from the nearest approximation of a town, he had always known how the sky was darker blue than black. He and his cousins loved to climb upon the rooftop and find the stories hidden in the stars. The earth around them was quiet and peaceful, but never silent. The symphony of crickets and other night creature laid in the background of every night spent there. A distant murmuring, Tellus’s lullaby.

Moving to the city had been akin to dunking his head in a bucket of ice water and screamo pop.

Shocking, painful and utterly disorientating. But after the ringingness faded- strangely exhilarating.

Remy has thrown himself headfirst into the city’s night culture. Staying up late partying, trying all the best coffee houses, hanging around the hidden-and-not-so-hidden drag shows,gaining a reputation and a caffeine addiction along the way.

But this was not a night where he would be going out, not when everything he needed was with him.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Virgil really was a sight to be seen, his skin was pale, like the white-petaled sunflowers that grew by the valley, that seemed to glow in the moonlight. But his starkness fit in perfectly with the gleam of the industrial lights. Heterochromatic eyes, green and purple, stunning as murano glass and pulsing as strobe lights.

Achingly familiar, yet enticingly foreign. Home and longing rolled up in one boy, a boy who has stolen one of his sleep shirts for his own nefarious (adorable) use.

And who probably wanted an answer. Quick Remy, think of some witty remark to be entertaining!

“You ever notice how bright it is sometimes?”

Damn it! Guess we’re being genuine.

Virgil quirked his head to the side, giving Remy a piercing look, before nodding his head slightly . “Yeah,” he said, “Used to overstimulate the crap outta me when I was younger.” Then he paused, debating with himself over continuing- but decided to press forward. “Is that why you always wear those stupid shades?” The last words said in jest.

A surprised laugh escaped his through before he could stop it- Virgil almost reaches out to comfort him, but tensed up, too many bad memories stilled his arm.

“Girl, I’ll have you know these are designer glasses right here” he made a gesture around his face, “Iconic one of a kind Remy Hypnos Original Shades. Don’t go dissing my brand babes”

Virgil just snorted and rolled his eyes, “Uh, I’m pretty sure the designer thing on your face are those-eye bags you have hidden under there.”

“Damn right, even the bags under my eyes are Gucci”

“Oh Gods did you steal that off tumblr you sleep-deprived asshat? Oh don’t give me that look you totally did.” Virgil’s words had started off biting, but slowly devolved into a giggling mess.

(He really was just too cute for this world, Remy thought)

“Oh Ha ha, laugh it up” he snapped, ignoring his blushing cheeks and hot ears.

(Virgil could always tell how flustered Remy was by how red the tips of his ears were. A dusty pink for flirty, A warm rouge signaled embarrassment or arousal. Virgil loved watching the colors bloom on his skin. Memorizing what each shade meant- he could take any cochineal-colored paint swatch and map out Remy’s mood in the margins. It made him so easy to read, and so much fun to mess with.)

Soon the laughing and jeering subsided, and Virgil turned to look at Remy, “But seriously man, Is that why you always have those things on? Photophobia?”

“Can’t it be enough that I look rad as all Hell’s in them?”

“Not with that deflection it can’t” Virgil wasn't giving up it seemed, so Remy let out a deep sigh and gathard his words. “Remember highschool?”

“Kind of hard to forget.” High school was an absolute trainwreck for Virgil, he’d been on and off meds that screwed with his moods- making the already hormone fueled circus that was over a thousand teens trapped in one building, like a pack of sardines- even more emotionally taxing.

But if High School was a disaster for Virgil, it was absolute Hell for Remy.

Remy and his cousins had been homeschooled by their many relatives since they were children. Growing up learning in his family’s study. Rich mahogany floors, dim golden lighting bouncing off the variety of nick-nacks and treasures that line the shelves. Learning to read in his grandfather’s library, his worn and wrinkled hands guiding his young fingers along the words.

His cousin Alessia longed to go to a public school, and pleaded with her mother for ages before she relented. With the condition that she would allow her to go- but only if one of their own went with her.

So Remy, proving himself as her favorite, offered to accompany her.

The blinding smile on Alessia’s face as she squealed thank you , thank you amata cugino, favorito benedetto, was totally worth it. ‘It’s only one year’ he thought, ‘how bad could it be?’

Until he actually got there.

Virgil could think back and recall in semi-perfect clarity the day Remy Hypnos graced the halls of Sandershore High. Roman had become a central hub for gossip , and he’d heard whispers that of new transfer students, which in of itself wouldn't be news. But Hypnos was a household name, owning some of the most ridiculously pretentious Itialian Restaurants in the country. The kind people got engaged at, those levels of nice.

Needless to say when Remy and Alessia strolled into Sandershore’s gate. With perfect olive skin, rich brown hair and clothes nicer than Virgil’s single mom income could ever afford. Virgil fell in hate easily.

(The kind of hate that has him staring at him out of the corner of his eye during Calculus. Thinking about what his eyes looked under those darkened glasses. The kind of hate that wasn’t really hate)

Remy had all the perfect components to rule to school. Pretty, rich, with a startling amount of charisma and people skills for someone so unsocialized.

(Know one knew how he picked up slang so fast in an attempt to hide to slight foreign tilt that laced his words. Never knew how when he first heard someone mock Alessia’s body he punched the guy’s lights out without ever thinking. No one knew how he hadn’t had a night's sleep since school started. How fake he felt, his mannerisms esageraged and twisted to suit the liking of the student body- till he felt like a caricature rather than a person.)

By second quarter Virgil and Remy’s seeming distaste for one another had spread far and wide. They couldn’t be in the same room together without having some sort of verbal showdown. If you asked Virgil he would say that Remy was a self absorbed prick with an ego the size of Mt. Rushmore. If you asked Remy he’d say that that Virgil was a clingy mood-killer who couldn’t see past his own issues.

(Remy didn’t know how empty Virgil felt. How much the crushing weight of his own thoughts threatened to pull him down under. How his dependency on Patton was more sinister than a clingy best-friend. How sometimes his nightmares left him gasping and clawing- begging for them to come back. How his mother never really could fill the emptiness in his house. How Virgil sometimes felt like a puppet going through the motions.)

As the eye bags under their eyes grew darker and heavier, and autumn grew colder and colder. Both boys felt the pressure crushing them under its weight.

(Turns out they both used their arguments as cathartic release from the world around them.)

(Some things never change.)

It was winter when they found each other. Both on the verge of a breakdown-

(It was always too bright. There were no warm wooden floors just chilled title and harsh- fake- lights. The entire building smelled like body odor and cleaning supplies. The teachers were strangers, uncaring distant- he heard what the girls were saying about his cousin. He just felt so-)

(Empty. Hopeless. Patton was gone where did Patton go? He was lonely. And so so pathetic. He needed to get himself under control needed. Don’t be a burden- they all hate him- don’t slip up. They’re going to leave him. Everything felt so distant- drowned out by the static- he was drowning-)

Where the fate’s looking down on the two powder keg boy. A spark away from igniting. Weaving their strings together for a happenstance in counter. Or was it merely coincidence that they went to the same storage closet, to have a moment's respite.

Was it just chance that the door was automatic-locked.

“This is just great” Remy hissed under his breath, he just wanted one moment- just one! Of some cooled peace and solitude. Away from the buzzing gossip and fake friends. Away from the sensory hell outside. A little kernel of bitter anger swelled within the pit of his stomach. One moment, just one.

Then he turned to look at the other person in the room.

Remy had seen lots of sides of Virgil Anxiti, the sarcastic commenter, the horrible-yet oddly insightful- student, the debater .

(He hadn’t seen the devoted son, the caring brother, the friend who would do anything for his loved ones)

But he’d never seen him… blank.

Curled up in the corner of the closet, arms hugging his knees as they were pressed into his chest, was Virgil. Eyes dead and dulled as stone. The muscles in his face were relaxed completely- which unsettled Remy more than crying would have.

Remy wasn’t a Knight in shining armor, or even a comforting person in general- but unqualified as he may be, he couldn’t just let his favorite rival just sit there and do nothing to help.

Alessia needed physical touch when she was upset , their whole family was practically comprised of touchy people. So when one of them was sad, it was a one way ticket to hug time. Somehow Remy didn’t think that would be well received.

“Hey, babes I’m going to touch your arm- that good with you?” He didn’t reply, not that Remy thought he would- but still. So slowly, cautiously, he layed a single hand on Virgil’s arm.

The change was gradual, but noticeable. Hear bloomed under Virgil’s complexion, bringing back warmth into his skin. The glassy oversheen of his eyes subsided, and his entire posture just… relaxed. And so did Remy.

When he had gathered enough of himself, Remy guided Virgil though his breathing exercises. In and out, In and out. Hand never leaving his arm- grounding him to the world.

The door was still locked when Virgil regained his senses. “Guess we have to wait until someone notices we’re missing” Which nearly set Virgil off into another spiral. Until they rembered that technology exists. And so they used Virgil’s phone to text Logan to come and unlock it.

“He’s the only one who won’t make a big deal about us being locked in a closet together”

But there was time between then and there. Time to talk, if only to fill the awkward silence.

To talk about school.

“Girl I have no idea what they put in those ‘school provided lunches’ but they are not food.”

“What rock have you been living under? I once got food poisoning from drinking some of the milk in 6th grade- and that still wasn’t the worst thing I’ve eaten from there.”

About Friends.

“I met Patton when I was six and we’ve been best friends ever since. Dee joined in when we were all about nine and we first saw Lo’ and the twins when they started freshman year”

“I cannot honestly tell you the names of half the people who hang around me”

About Family.

“Hon you could bust down every wall in this building and still wouldn’t have enough room to put all my fam”

“It’s just been my mom, little brother and Patton since I was eight and my dad walked out. Still don’t know who I hate more for it- him or me”

If Logan took just a tad longer route to the closet- he didn’t mention it. He also didn’t mention when Remy started joining their table for lunch. Matching Roman and Remus in all their theatrics- offering to set up a ‘play date’ between some of his younger cousins and Dee’s many siblings.

(If he noticed how much happier the two were after that, how much more healthy Virgil seemed, how more secure in himself Remy acted...well that was just one more thing he didn’t mention.)

Present Day Remy took off his glasses, letting them rest gently in his hand. “My Nonna gave them to me the day before I started school. Said they would come in handy. They did of course.. they just kinda.. became more” he rubbed along the temple’s rubbery tip. Eyes focused in on the way his fingers move up and down the slender frame.

Virgil gently takes the glasses into his hand, and sets them down on the bedside table. He has to stand on his toes to reach Remy’s face, but when he does he tenderly places a hand onto his cheek, gazing into his deep brown eyes- the same shade as his espresso cups and just as rich.

And Remy melts into him. Allows himself to be led away from the window. From the bright lights and traffic noise, and into Virgil’s embrace.

[illogicallyinclined]

Without Any Further Ado, Here is the Team Roster for the Year Following Logan’s Concussion

Line #1: 

Right Wing: Jared Jaslow (#24)

Year/Major: Junior, Computer Science Major

Physical description: average build. short, dark brown hair. dark brown eyes. wears glasses. is one of the plainest white boys that this world has ever seen (self-proclaimed)

Fun facts: jared is the one who created the Silence Bottom bot that roman hated So, So Much. jared is also logan’s partner for beer pong, and he drinks every cup so that logan doesn’t have to; (logan has carried jared back to his apartment Many Times)

Center: Roman Prince (#1) – Senior

Left Wing: Patton Flores (#7) – Junior

Line #2:

Right Wing: Remus Prince (#34) – Senior

Center (submittedby @ephemeral-afterlight): Callen Kang (American name) Kang Mincheol (Korean name - 강민철) – (#26)

Year/Major: Sophomore; callen majors in something medical with minors in something to do with music/singing. his dream job is to be either a singer or a surgeon. he will quite literally Cut a Bitch (and like, save their life or whatever)

Physical description:  Korean, medium-length black hair that fades to purple tips (he did it for the Team Aesthetic), short and slim, looks generally cutesy and unthreatening

Fun Facts: Despite the last point, he will Cut A Bitch. He moved to America from South Korea when he was 14 years old and is fluent in both languages. Catch him cussing other players out in Korean

callen chose the #26 because that is the number of animals that he has rescued doing volunteer work prior to joining the team

Left Wing: Payton O’Shaughnessy (#18)

Year/Major: Sophomore, Sociology Major

Physical description: 6′0″, stawberry blond hair that has been slicked back and pale blue eyes. has freckles across his face and shoulders.

Fun Facts: payton never lived in ireland himself, but his parents are Very Irish, so has a learned accent. 

Line #3:

Right Wing: Peter Sullivan (#20) 

Year/Major: Junior, History Major

Physical Descripton: light brown hair with an undercut, hazel eyes. tall and lanky – 6′2″, with Chicken Legs 

Fun Facts: Peter is the bearer of Logan’s Sins. (Sorry Peter). he’s honestly not too bothered by it, though. 

Center: David Santos (#16)

Year/Major: Sophomore, Psych Major, English Minor

Physical description: warm, beige skin. dark,curly brown hair and light brown eyes.

Fun Facts: David has an identical twin named Gabriel, but Gabe doesn’t play hockey. David also once changed Roman’s icon so that it was one of the horrible faces that he made while he was on the ice. it took Roman two weeks to figure out how to change it back. 

Left Wing: Julian Beauregard (#27)

Year/Major: Sophomore, Women and Genders Studies and Sociology Double Major, German Minor

Physical description: 5′7, black hair, dark brown eyes

Fun Facts: julian has idolized logan ever since logan threatened the hell out of a shitty yale player that attacked julian for having rainbow tape on his stick. 

julian chose the #27 because it is his boyfriend’s favorite number.

Line #4

Right Wing (submitted by @sotakeabitofcalpol): Myles Nye (#45)

Year/Major: Freshman, Philosophy Major, failing pre-med

Physical Description: blue hair, blue eyes, scar across right cheek

Fun Facts: Myles is British and was a part of the ACF (it’s where he got the scar). He is one of a set of triplets, and he says fuck all philosophy except what Diogenes is teaching. (he’s a philosophy major, he knows what he’s talking about.)

Center (submitted by @brownie-aunt): Holly Dean (#42)

Year/Major: Freshman, double major in art and political science

Physical Description:  purple hair, hazel eyes, lots of facial piercings (although he has to take them out each time the team plays)

Fun Facts:  loves getting into fist fights, can outdrink pretty much anyone, outgrew the foster care system, favorite movie is fight club

Left Wing (submitted by @ilovepeter3000): Alex Jones (#9)

Year/Major: Freshman, Chemical Engineering Major; he eventually wants to join the army Corp of engineers

Physical Description: slightly above average height, brown hair, brown mediterranean complexion

Fun Facts: alex has congenital nystagmus, meaning that his eyes twitch. he is bullied for this a lot in middle and elementary school

alex chose #9 because his little brother was born in ‘09, and his little brother is an angel

Defenseman Pair #1

Virgil (#13) and D. Ethan Escarra (#3): both juniors

Defenseman Pair #2: 

Emile Picani (#6) – Senior

Theodore “Teddy” (#71)

Year/Major: Senior, Environmental Science Major (wants to go into horticulture)

Physical Description: teddy is 6′7″ and Very Physically Intimidating 

Fun Facts: teddy is patton’s roommate. he has a cat named Peony that patton adores (even though he is Very Allergic. patton takes allergy meds daily)

teddy chose the #71 because that’s how many breeds of cat there are

Defenseman Pair #3

Bo Anderson (#19)

Year/Major: Sophomore, Statistics Major, Math Minor

Physical Description: scandinavian, mid-length blonde hair and blue eyes

Fun Facts: Bo can understand german, french, swedish, and english. 

Jamie Bratcher (submitted by @enby-ralsei) – (#23)

Year/Major: Freshman, Food Science Major

Physical Description: medium length curly hair, horrible eyesight (glasses 24/7), will never be seen without his necklace from his younger sibling (its just some pearler beads, but they made it just for him after coming out as nb)

Fun Facts: Moved far away from family to go to college, hasn’t seen them since summer break. Will probably cry if he cant find his necklace. would love to work in a restaurant in a major city

Goalies: 

Remy Belmonte (#8) – Senior

Alex Richardson (#36) – Senior

***no one knows whether or not logan will return. not even logan.

[perspective-series]

Kingdom Perspective (8)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Fear, panic, kidnapping, keeping/treating people like pets, threats, and unwanted touching/grabbing

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

—————————————————————————————————-

 “Alright, well that was fun. Don’t you think?” Roman asked Virgil as he continued to walk down the hall.

“Patton was cool.” Virgil gave a nod of agreement. A little depressing, but cool.

 “Well hopefully we can have another playdate soon.” Roman said, before entering his room. He placed Virgil on the desk. 

 “Don’t get too comfortable, we’ll be leaving again in a moment. I just have to get a few things.” Roman told the human before going over to his bottom dresser drawer and pulling out a few clothes.

“Wait, what?” Virgil frowned, definitely not liking the sound of that. “Where are we going? Why do I have to go anywhere?”

 “Because it’s for you.” Roman answered back. He stood up and placed the human clothes he had picked out into his pocket. He made his way back over to the desk. “We’re going to see the tailor to fix some of these clothes for you.” Roman scooped Virgil up as he said this.

“What? No!” Virgil began protesting, more so as he thought about what tailors usually did and how in your face they could be. “The clothes are fine, I have enough that fit and I don’t care if they’re a little loose or tight.”

 “Well, I do. It’ll be fine, our tailor is the finest in all the kingdom!” Roman walked out of his room and down the hall in the opposite direction of Logan’s room.

“I don’t care!” Virgil pushed against Roman as if he could push hard enough to make the giant go back. “He’s probably a terrible tailor anyways because all of your clothes suck too.”

 Roman gasped in offense and ignored Virgil’s struggles. “Excuse you, my clothes are top of the line!” Roman huffed. “You just don’t know fashion. Obviously.” Roman looked Virgil up and down. 

“I’m a fashion icon.” Virgil grunted, still pushing. “I don’t want to meet any more giants. You take me in there and I will make a scene.”

 “I’d actually advise against that. If you make a scene, Remy will surely up you on it.” Roman said about the tailor before coming to his door. “And it looks like we are here, so be good.” Roman knocked on the door.

 “Give me a sec Gurl!” A voice spoke from within the room. 

“No I will not be good.” Virgil hissed, but his voice had gotten much quieter as he stared at the door in anxious anticipation.

 Roman ignored him and a second later, the door opened. Remy appeared, wearing a white tunic and a black jacket. He also wore a pair of black pants and a pair of tinted glasses. Glasses that he peered out of when he saw that Roman was the one at his door.

 “Roman! What can I do ya for?” Remy asked, leaning against the doorframe. Roman smiled.

 “Well, I need you to tailor a few clothes to fit Virgil here.” He held Virgil up for Remy to get a better look at. Remy’s eyes widened.

 “Oh sweet dude! You got yourself your own little human.” Remy smirked. “Well hello little buddy.”

Virgil glared at him, taking in this new giant. His outfit looked almost...human. 

 Remy, of course, noticed this and his smirk seemed to get wider. “Recognize my style?” Remy asked, popping the collar of his jacket. “You should. I took a lot of inspiration from your world after I had to tailor a few outfits for Patton.”

“Doesn’t seem very creative of you.” Virgil pointed out.

 Remy hummed at that, narrowing his eyes at the human. “...You sure have some spunk.” Remy smiled. “I like that.”

 He got up and headed more into the room, motioning for Roman to follow. “Welp, come on in. I’ll be happy to fix up this little guy some clothes.”

 Roman grinned. “Thank you Remy.” Remy chuckled.

 “No reason to thank me, it’s my job after all.” Remy motioned towards a small table almost in the center of the room. Something he had gotten to better tailor Patton. “Set him up on here and we’ll get started.”

 Roman did as told and took out the small pile of clothes as well, setting them near Virgil.

“I’m fine with the clothes I have, you don’t have to make anything.” Virgil insisted.

 “Oh, I’m not making anything for you...well, yet.” Remy admitted, picking up and inspecting the clothes. “Just gonna fix these so that they fit ya. Nothing big.” 

 “Can we start with the black jacket? I feel like we’ll need that one soon.” For other formal events that would take place. Remy shrugged and picked up the one Roman was talking about.

 “Well, go ahead and put this on for me, will ya?” Remy asked Virgil, holding the jacket out for him to take.

“Nope.” Virgil shook his head, taking a step back and shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

 “You’re definitely more vocal than Pat-Pat, that’s for sure.” Remy clicked his tongue. “Of course, he didn’t want to put on his clothes at first either. So, I’ll give you the same option I gave him. Put it on, or I put it on for you.” Remy chuckled. “It’s that simple.”

“What’d Patton choose?” Virgil raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious.

 “He ended up putting the clothes on himself. Which I am sure you would rather do as well.” Remy answered. 

 “Yes, come on Virgil. Don’t make Remy do this.” Roman said, looking down at his human with crossed arms.

“You all suck, this is so dumb.” Virgil pouted, but he took the jacket all the same. He took off his hoodie and wrapped it around his waist, throwing the jacket on over his shirt.

 “There we go, now you’re getting it.” Remy reached over and grabbed his tools. “Now, I’m gonna need you to hold real still. Can you do that?”

“Depends on what you’re gonna do.” Virgil eyed Remy’s tool warily.

 “Just take some measurements.” Remy shrugged. “And poke the clothes with a few needles. Not too much.”

“Nope!” Virgil immediately began ripping the jacket off his body. “Nuh-uh, no way. You keep those giant sharp pointy objects far away from me or I stab them into your finger.”

 “Virgil!” Roman yelled. And he had been being so good too, well, despite the talking back. 

 Remy only chuckled. “I won’t stab you if you just stand still, I’m a professional after all.”

“And that’s a giant weapon.” Virgil pointed at the pins in Remy’s hands, throwing the jacket to the ground. He turned to glare at Roman. “I’m not gonna risk my life so that I’m dolled up the way that you see fit, your highness.”

 Roman glared back. “Virgil…” Roman said in a warning tone but Remy cut him off.

 “It’s fine.” He shrugged, causing Roman to blink. 

 “Wait, what?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed. How was Remy not offended by this?

 “It means more work for me but I could just measure him and fix the clothes separately,” Remy said with a small sigh.

“What’s that mean for me?” Virgil turned back to Remy.

 “No needles, for one. Just this.” Remy held up the measuring tape. “I just have to measure your height and width of your body and limbs and then you’re free to go.”

Virgil looked at it and then nodded with determination, deeming this acceptable. “Fine, I’ll do that.”

 “Looks like you and Pat aren’t so different after all.” Remy chuckled. “Oh, right. Yeah, I lied about that, by the way.”

 Roman’s eyes widened as he grinned. “Oh, you are sneaky.” 

 “What can I say?” Remy said as he grabbed his measuring tape.

Virgil only glared at him. “Should’ve known better than to trust one of you.”

 “Oh come now, Virgil. He was just trying to help you.” Roman said.

 “Well, and myself.” Remy said with another shrug. “Now stand still.” Remy said to Virgil as he wrapped the tape around Virgil’s waist.

Virgil froze, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible.

 Remy hummed and wrote down the numbers he saw. He then switched to measure Virgil’s height. “Honestly, not sure what it is with you humans and needles.” Remy muttered as he worked.

“Pretty sure it’s the instinctual need to not get stabbed.” Virgil scoffed.

 “But it’s harmless!” Roman stepped in. “Seriously, almost everyone does it.” 

 Remy hummed in agreement, writing down more numbers before measuring the length of Virgil’s arm.

“Okay, but you being stabbed by one of those needles won’t kill you.” Virgil pointed out. “Those things are huge compared to me. I get stabbed, I die. End of discussion.”

 “So basically you think I can’t do my job right.” Remy hummed. “I see how it is.” He went to measure Virgil’s legs.

 “Wow, rude much.” Roman said for Remy.

“That’s not even fair.” Virgil protested. “I wasn’t saying that, I’m just saying that there’s no reason to risk my life when there’s other ways and I already have perfectly fine clothes in the first place.”

 “Whatever.” Remy said, writing down one last number before putting the measuring tape down. “Alright, you’re all set.”

 Roman grinned. “Great! Sorry for all the trouble.”

 “It’s not a problem. Little Virgy here is definitely more entertaining than Pat is, that’s for sure.” Remy said with a smirk, looking down at Virgil.

Virgil rolled his eyes and flipped Remy the bird for good measure.

 Remy just laughed at the gesture. “Like I said, much more entertaining. You are welcome to bring him back anytime.” Remy said and Roman chuckled.

 “Maybe I will. So, when do you think you can get the clothes done.” Roman asked, motioning towards the small pile. Remy sighed it up and hummed in thought.

 “About...two days. Yeah, does that sound good?” Remy asked. Roman grinned. 

 “Sounds perfect! Thank you Remy!” Roman reached out and grabbed Virgil. “Say goodbye, Virgil.”

Virgil kept his mouth shut.

 “Eh, he’ll warm up to me eventually.” Remy said. “See ya later.” Roman waved towards the tailor before exiting and heading back to his own room.

 “Why must you be so rude?” Roman asked, looking down at Virgil.

“Okay, firstly, I’m always rude so you better get used to it.” Virgil answered. “But secondly, me? Rude? He’s the one who lied, and you’re the one who forced me to go after I told you I didn’t want to go.”

 “You needed to go. You can’t just live off of one pair of pants and a hoodie. Not sure how you lived before but here you actually need to look presentable most of the time.” Roman explained.

“I never looked presentable at home and I refuse to do so here.” Virgil crossed his arms. “You can put me in whatever frilly junk you want, I guarantee you I will trash every piece that comes near me.”

 “Well, then I’ll just keep giving you more. And that means you’ll have to see Remy more too.” Roman grinned, entering his room.

“He already has my measurements.” Virgil pointed out. “Why does he need to see me again?”

 “Knowing Remy, he will definitely lose them.” Roman chuckled. Roman set Virgil down on the desk.

“Fine, then you get the measurements then.” Virgil suggested. “I don’t wanna go back there.”

 “Well, too bad.” Roman said with a huff. He thought for a moment before scooping Virgil up again and putting him back in the cage. He locked the door and sat down at his desk. “Now, I have a few things I need to get done, so I’m gonna need you to be quiet.” Roman said before getting out a piece of paper and starting to write on it.

“And just what’re you gonna do if I’m not quiet?” Virgil challenged, coming closer to the front of the cage.

 Roman paused, thinking for a moment. “I don’t know. Put you in the closet? Yes, I would put you in the closet.” Roman said before turning back to his work.

“Sounds more like a reward than a punishment.” Virgil countered. Indeed, any break from Roman was often its own reward. “Also, aren’t you forgetting something?”

 Roman tore himself away from his work again. “What?” He tried to think of what he could be forgetting, but came up with nothing.

“We made a deal?” Virgil tapped on the lock to his cage. “You promised to keep this unlocked and open.”

 “...Oh, right. We did make that deal, didn't we.” In hindsight, Roman was seeing how bad of an idea that had been. But he did reach over and unlock and open the cage door. He just hoped Virgil forgot about the other part of their deal.

“Thank you.” Virgil stretched his arms above his head, making a big show of stepping out of the cage. “Oh, and don’t think I forgot about you listening to me for a day. I’m saving that for a special occasion.”

 Roman groaned. Great. “Wonderful.” Roman tried to focus back on his work.

Virgil walked closer, making sure to get in Roman’s line of vision just to annoy him. “What’re you doing, anyways?”

 “Writing a letter to a few nobles in a neighboring country.” Roman explained. “I met up with them just shortly before getting you and now I must send a letter telling them how wonderful it was to have them here.” Roman leaned down after a moment.

 “But between you and me, they were absolutely awful.”

“Dare you to say that in your letter.” Virgil goaded him on, grinning.

 Roman laughed. “Oh, I wish! But I really shouldn’t unless I want to start a war.” 

“Listen, if I managed to help start a giant’s war I’d consider that a win.” Virgil shrugged. “What made them so awful anyways?”

 “Ugh, they were just so...preppy and narcissistic! They came into our kingdom and acted like they owned the place! Logan had to practically fight them off to stop them from taking Patton.” Roman explained. “But of course, I can’t say any of that.”

“If only I knew anyone so preppy and narcissistic…” Virgil smirked in Roman’s direction, but his blood did run cold at the idea of anyone trying to do harm to Patton. The poor guy didn’t deserve any of this.

 Roman noticed Virgil’s look. “Oh, ha ha. Very funny.” Roman rolled his eyes but was smirking. “Seriously though, be glad you weren’t here for that. It was bad.” 

“You could use that to your advantage in your letter.” Virgil put out his hands as if he was pitching a headline. “We are glad that you felt so at home in our kingdom despite its clear superiority. Thank you for your singular visit, it’s such a shame that due to personal reasons we will be closing our borders forever. Peace out.”

 Roman bust out laughing. “Oh goodness you are terrible at this.” Roman said, still laughing. “Oh, I so wish I could actually send that to them. Just to see the looks on their faces. The war might actually be worth it at that point.”

“Do it. I dare you.” Virgil’s face became villainous as he pressured Roman down the path of petty evil. 

 “Sorry but I can’t. Both my father and Logan would kill me.” Roman settled down in his laughter. Looking over his paper again. “But save it for when I have to write a letter in order to declare war. I feel like you’d be good at that.” Hopefully that wouldn’t be soon but it would most likely happen eventually.

“I do like making people angry with me.” Virgil nodded solemnly.

 “I’ve noticed.” Roman said, sending Virgil a look paired with a smirk.

“Rude.” Virgil said offhandedly, sitting down. “But at least I know I’m still good at my job.”

 Roman chuckled. “Too good, I would say.” He turned back to his paper. “Now, I really should get this finished. Let me know if you need anything.”

“I need to go home.” Virgil replied, giving Roman a look.

 Roman frowned and felt bad as he noticed the way Virgil looked at him. He sighed, focusing back on his paper. “...You already know the answer to that.”

“Heh, worth a shot.” Virgil chuckled humorlessly, pulling his knees up to his chest.

 Roman sighed but did his best to ignore Virgil and continue writing his letter.

***

Logan had just finished up clearing lunch, having sent the dishes away with a passing maid, when a knock came at his door. With all the unexpected visitors lately it was almost surprising to see someone using their manners. 

“You may enter.” Logan called, loud enough so the person heard him.

“Ah, Prince Logan.” One of the Royal Advisors, Emile Picani, came in with a low bow of respect to the high prince. “Thank goodness you are in good health.”

“Is something the matter?” Logan asked, bidding the advisor to rise. 

“There has been a...change in plans.” Picani admitted, standing up.

 Patton looked at the giant warily from his position on Logan’s desk. He didn’t really recognize this giant, though he thinks he may have seen him once or twice here and there. Mostly at formal events. He wondered who he was and what he meant by a change in plans. Did something happen?

“The council and I took note of your Father’s behavior at the dinner last night, per your request.” Picani explained. “We have deemed him unfit to rule.”

It was only on rare instances like this that Logan outwardly portrayed shock. His eyes widened, processing what Picani had said. Though he knew that his father was unfit to keep the throne, Logan hadn’t expected an actual ruling for several months.

“With the peace treaties coming up we cannot risk him plunging us into another war.” Picani shook his head sadly. “It is time for you to take his place.”

 Patton’s eyes widened. Logan was going to become king already? But he thought the prince had another year! Could they really do that, just out of the blue like that? Was Logan okay with this?

Logan took a deep breath. “How long do I have?”

“Until the end of the week.” Picani answered. “But there are many preparations that must take place to ensure the coronation goes smoothly. The council and I will need to brief you on the various technicalities that will occur once you’ve ascended the throne. Of course we will be there to help advise you through all your decisions, but you shall have the final call.”

“I see.” Logan put a hand on his chin, sinking into his desk chair and looking deep in thought.

 Patton bet Logan was glad he had been studying so much for when he took the throne. The human had no doubt that Logan was ready despite it coming sooner. Patton was happy the king wouldn’t be in charge anymore. Maybe that would mean he wouldn’t have to see him anymore.

Logan wanted a moment to process these new emotions, but Picani had other ideas.

“Your highness?” Picani spoke up. “In order to ensure success we really must begin right away. There are a dozen tasks we must complete this evening to remain on schedule. I know this is a lot to put on your shoulders, and I don’t want you to feel overburdened by this responsibility, but right now...your country needs you.”

 Patton did deflate at that. He had wanted to ask Logan questions like Virgil had asked him to. But it seemed like now Logan was going to be gone for quite a while.

“Of course.” Logan stood up, his posture suddenly giving off a more regal tone than before. He carefully picked up Patton, placing him back in the cage. 

“You’re going to wonderfully, Logan.” Picani assured him, leading the eldest prince out of the room.

I hope so. Logan kept this thought to himself. A king does not show weakness.

 Patton watched as Logan left the room, leaving Patton all alone. Patton sighed. He wasn’t unused to this. He barely left the bedroom and he was usually left alone quite a bit but he had been hoping to ask Logan some things.

 Oh well, he would just have to ask Logan tomorrow. Since Patton figured he’d be gone the rest of the evening. Having nothing else to do, Patton settled down and tried to get some sleep.