bejingren

[bejingren]

"thanks for the honesty," which he would always appreciate. jingren wasn't really the type to deal with any sort of sugarcoating, and sometimes couldn't read hints or sarcasm well. "just throwing some ideas out there, because... well. i don't know what i am doing with my life right now. i am... honestly quite confused. maybe i need a therapist," jingren utters, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. he turns back to kaito and stares at him. "thanks for entertaining my ideas. some eats and shopping would be a nice break. i often spend too much time on just necessities or...." only the scholarly or nerdy things. jingren could afford to spend some extra bits on actually fun things, right? wrong. he needs the push from his friends. otherwise he naturally doesn't do it himself.

"yea, some time together or even chilling would be.... helpful. i could look around for some new kicks or a new bag. my laptop bag is seriously on the end of its life. i've had it since freshman year. whoever thought totes were a good idea, was very. very wrong. i think my shoulder will kill me when i am older." jingren rubs at his shoulders, and sighs, glumly. "you got a good eye for fashion?" one wouldn't want to assume, but kaito does look like he's on point all the time.

no promises to keep

he feels a bit aimless after everything that has happened. jingren didn't think it would affect him but ultimately- it did. a bit foolish to think that he'd be left completely fine and dandy after a whirlwind of a life event happened. he's not impulsive, yet he threw himself into the live show and competition. he tried new things, and in a way, failed at them. it kind of makes him deflate, and the student thought he could immerse himself back into school and studies again, but life doesn't seem to work that way. is he burnt out? does he need to 'touch grass'? he hates doing that. perhaps misery loves company, as he finds himself sulking beside @bekaito, with whom he had no ill intent of being so depressive towards but he's pretty sure there's a gloom clowd over his head.

"seriously, do you think i just need to get a girlfriend or something? i'm so.... moody. not saying that i need to go out and find a girl right this second, but i don't want to do much of anything. is this what they call depression?" does he actaully want to be a trainee? was he disappointed in himself? jingren needs to know more about himself but without the therapy session. "maybe i need to go to lotte or something and just... have fun. or... go to a cat cafe and.. bury my face into a cat's belly. do i need vacation? i'm burnt out. i'm ranting. i am ranting. i'm so sorry, kaito, i don't even typically talk this much." truth be told, he's genuinely a quite fellow, but not today!

[bejingren]

no promises to keep

he feels a bit aimless after everything that has happened. jingren didn't think it would affect him but ultimately- it did. a bit foolish to think that he'd be left completely fine and dandy after a whirlwind of a life event happened. he's not impulsive, yet he threw himself into the live show and competition. he tried new things, and in a way, failed at them. it kind of makes him deflate, and the student thought he could immerse himself back into school and studies again, but life doesn't seem to work that way. is he burnt out? does he need to 'touch grass'? he hates doing that. perhaps misery loves company, as he finds himself sulking beside @bekaito, with whom he had no ill intent of being so depressive towards but he's pretty sure there's a gloom clowd over his head.

"seriously, do you think i just need to get a girlfriend or something? i'm so.... moody. not saying that i need to go out and find a girl right this second, but i don't want to do much of anything. is this what they call depression?" does he actaully want to be a trainee? was he disappointed in himself? jingren needs to know more about himself but without the therapy session. "maybe i need to go to lotte or something and just... have fun. or... go to a cat cafe and.. bury my face into a cat's belly. do i need vacation? i'm burnt out. i'm ranting. i am ranting. i'm so sorry, kaito, i don't even typically talk this much." truth be told, he's genuinely a quite fellow, but not today!

[bejingren]

"ohhhhh.....! that's a fun career," not one that jingren typically thought of but its probably quite lucrative for those who made it work. and bada was cute enough to be one. it made sense in his head anyway. "i'll keep an eye out." he physically would have to, or look her up, because jingren is unaware of such things in his day to day life. "it sounds more enjoyable than school. even though i do like school.." he has to expand his mind and horizons and not be so close minded. even if the nerdy side of him can usually only see things from one perspective but after befriending some other students, he realized how vastly different they all were.

"what are you passionate about then, if that's not what interests you? but i mean, it is true what they say. some of us work to live, and some live to work..." he hums, hoping that he would be happy regardless of what happens to his path after school. "and if i am asking too much, just tell me to be quiet. like we said, it is our first meeting, but.... i'm glad i'm not a weirdo. likewise to you too," jingren chuckles as he takes a bite of the chocolate before taking a big gulp of water. "i dislike eating sweets without something savoury too, honestly."

she hates being asked about her occupation and what she does for a living, but bada is thankful that not many people recognize her these days. not only jingren, a foreigner, but she doesn't get stopped on the streets either. it's been more than a couple of years since her last feature film, but she remembers a time when she was sixteen and getting asked for autographs at school. though most of it was a harsh form of teasing, the model didn't figure that out until it was too late.

bada realizes it's been too long since she's answered his question, lost in her own thoughts. she looks up at him with a start, sitting up straighter. "no, no, i'm not in school right now," she laughs awkwardly. "i'm . . . a model, of sorts," there's no point in lying, she knows there's a shop down the road with their newest campaign posted on the wall, her face front and center.

"i'm a clothing model, mostly freelancing, waiting for jobs to find me. i'm also active on social media, influencing, i feel like you have to be these days," bada mumbles and shakes her head. the pressure of uploading to instagram, tiktok, and the works one of the worst parts of her job. "i'll spare you most of the details, it's not something i'm that passionate about."

she picks up a piece of chocolate and takes a bite, eyes widening at the taste. "it's really good!" bada exclaims, looking at jingren with a smile. "yeah, looking at it now, i don't think i would have been able to finish it all on my own," she tilts her head down, trying to hide the blush on her face at the other's comment. "sharing . . . yeah, it's nice to meet someone new! i'm glad you're not a total weirdo."

[bejingren]

he didn't think itd be a whole thing. jingren doesn't love the idea about being around people this way, extremely crowded - the last time he scoped out this area, it was a relatively normal amount of people but the discounts and the hype had made it rather stuffy - not to his liking. he focuses on nora instead of everyone around them, avoiding the tweak in his brow or eye that would certainly happen if he was not careful. the discounts are worth it, the discounts are worth it. buy one get one. okay, sure... "i am down to share food. or whatever is on sale, as long as it looks edible," jingren grins, not picky at all. "i heard its even cheaper than whatever you could find around campus right now, but i hope they don't make you do like weird couple-y things to get the discounts..." he's done enough of putting on a show for now after next gen, and he's back to being just himself. normal, good old ordinary jingren. nothing wrong with that, right?

"i hate that there's so much people," jingren grumbled, not being able to hide it. sighing, he walks a bit closer as someone comes running by their side without much of a care, and knocking into his elbow. "but... where there's a line, it must be good right? i think we should start with something savoury or a delicious drink," jingren squints his eyes, trying to look over the crowd. "wonder if there's any merch or clothing stalls too, or if its all food only... but i guess a mall would be better for actual clothes. at least its sunny, yea?" positive thinking.

♡ ⸝⸝ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓 , ft. @bejingren.

love.

nora hasn't ever given much thought to that word; small, simple and unassuming when written down, applicable to a variety of relations and situations, but heavy and all consuming when in true practice. it's a word she bares no real faith in, singular loves she'd known all her life now a far cry from the relevance that'd once revolved around her, familial ties in ruin, whispers of the heart nothing more than mere flings and matters of little importance these days. nora couldn't care less for love, but press was press, so if ambushed, she could bring herself to pretend, at least for an afternoon.

she just so happens to find herself in jingrens company, the two finding time to attend the days event despite differing schedules. for university students, sales are a lifeline, so regardless of the subject matter, nora had made sure to drag him along as extra manpower ( and, of course, to hang out ).

"let me know if you spot anything interesting— oh, or if you see any yummy food stalls." nora is decked out, shades sat snuggly atop her nose as she casts a overviewing scan of their surrounds from over the top. luckily, the weather was nice, resulting in the space being rather packed. "wow, this whole thing brought out a lot more people than i was expecting to see."

[bejingren]

eyes first or head first?

a secret third thing: his sweet smile

[bejingren]

"no, don't even worry about that. happy you're here," jingren insists, because its true. man was two seconds away from walking out because he was too embarrassed to sing alone after coming in and being 'stood up' by a bunch of friends? well. "are you the type that's usually... late for class or for work, something like that?" he couldn't help but ask, but honestly, what better time than the present to get to know stevie better. jingren, genuinely, was one who liked to be punctual, dare he say he was that guy that always ended up going to class early to get the seat of his choice, and despising when his classes were back to back which had him running from lecture to lecture. which is probably why he was the one who always enters these reservations first. maybe next time he'll wait to see familiar faces first before going in...

"ohhhhhhh, sure. i'm alright with most things, minus... rap...... it goes too fast for me to read," jingren admits sheepishly, having tried once and stumbling so much that the song ended up being a skip. "maybe we could surprise ourselves with adlibs and harmony too. too much?" he laughs, taking note of a few songs that catch his eye that he would like to add into the queue. easy-singing contrasting with the way-too-high-to-sing songs would be a fun mood-breaker too, especially since he was getting more comfortable around stevie as he sat.

"you don't mind if i put in some.... less serious songs right?" jingren flips his eyes to stevie before going through the book further. "i am not picky... but if i stick to indecision, i will never pick anything and you can pick all the songs, but then that might seem like i am not committed to being here, which- i am." he's been told he's quite awkward before. and he's... hes trying! "maybe some.... girl group songs, or even worse, songs that are hard to sing and probably out of our vocal range. oh! i wonder if they have the pitch adjuster- though that might make it less challenging," he snickers a little, looking at the controller. sure enough, there it was.

“it is pretty crazy,” stevie agrees with the other, a laugh of disbelief leaving him the more he thinks about it. he’d almost say it had to be weirdly intentional– like when people in movies cancel plans only to leave two; but he’s not sure the reasoning why. which just chalks it up to pure, unlucky coincidence. “oh well. their loss i guess.” he spins it to be positive; just cause the rest of the group isn’t here, doesn’t mean they can’t get up to some singing fun.

“oh! that’s nice of them.” makes sense, he guesses. maybe he should have been on time…it’d probably be less awkward if there was at least one other person here. “sorry, by the way– for being late.” he glances over at jingren with a smile. “i’m always like, a couple minutes behind– my concept of time is pretty awful.” stevie admits sheepishly.

in the midst of getting the remote and dragging one of the books towards him, he pauses, looking over at jingren curiously. “really?” he asks, shock colouring his tone. he listens, expression turning more and more understanding the more he learns. “okay, okay,” stevie nods. “noted! and no worries! we’re just having fun, no pressure. don’t even think i can judge,” he snorts, shooting jingren a reassuring grin. “let’s see…” he trails off, opening one of the books and letting his eyes quickly scroll over the pages.

at the mention of finding, stevie gives a little giggle. “uh. i do my best?” he says, lifting his gaze to give his new friend a cheeky grin. “to be honest, korean isn’t my first language either, so…” his voice trails off a bit, breaking off into shy laughter. “i can manage somewhat. i recognize the artist names pretty quickly, and i don’t mind just clicking and finding out.” he waves it off easily. that’s apart of learning, right? trial and error, whatever. “uh…i like pop songs, pretty much? anything that’s popular on the radio.” he isn’t immune; he’ll happily listen to a top 40 playlist with no complaints. “we could do– quartz? maybe? do two lines each?”

[bejingren]

ordinary things

honestly, it feels strange to return to reality, right before the finale of all things too - but... he feels cathartic about it all. he applied on a whim, was thrown completely all around, it was so uncomfortable for him as jingren was so used to his own routine as a student but... hey, he's proud of what he did and what he happened, and he'll pocket the experience. growth, jingren, growth. he'll be rooting for jaeyoung from where he is rooted, back in reality.

and... what now? things just go back to normal? i guess so. he feel awful for coming out of the blue again, after disappearing like that, but while they were allowed to keep phones for some thing and social media posts ( which he doesn't do anyway ) - jingren couldn't balance the social aspect with the mental exertion he used to do all of the actual activity on next gen. so... a belated text and a response find him here after he'd left bada high and dry, on read without much of a warning but surely it'd make sense after they met up and he explained himself, right? but also, did he have anything he needed to 'explain himself' for? they'd only met once from that initial point, randomly on christmas, but now it was months later... sure, they kept in touch until he'd actually gotten onto the show but then silence!

forgive him for being the simpleton as ever, but he chose a small cafe near the banpo hangang river park in case she forgave him and was willing to visit the bridge festival after they shared a drink. his head had shot up every time someone entered the cafe, and after being faked out a few times, jingren had to will himself to calm down and he chose to look outside the window rather than looking like a startled deer every two minutes. oh, was that her? he surely hoped so!

@badabe

[bejingren]

nonstop group | interview

what was the greatest challenge during this mission?

the answer might be generic since a lot of people had to volunteer for rapping this time around. if nothing, it was the truth. "i really didn't know if i had it in me to rap, but i was willing to try. the song had quite a few rap parts, and while it was divided between a few of us, i'd never rapped before other than during karaoke." jingren scratches idly at his brow, looking at the judges. "i hope that it came through as more than a karaoke performance from me with my rap. i am more comfortable with singing, but branching out will only help me grow."

was there another participant who was especially helpful?

"to tag off with my rap, jueun and i sat down at the start to get the rap of the rhythm and get into the flow of rapping. i thought it was vital to our start with practice and getting comfortable with not only the singing parts, but the song as a whole." not to say he'd be the next big main rapper or anything, but everyone had to start somewhere.

do they feel confident in their performance?

"i enjoyed performing nonstop. it was really fun and sweet. i am always a bit worried about whether or not it comes through in my execution because i am still a relatively new performer, with all things speaking. i hope that my practice showed." he is kind of skirting the main question about confidence, but it's never been stellar since the start. but... this is how he feels!

[bejingren]

fz radar, where? | line distribution

an upbeat concept. he doesn't really envision himself in any style of music, but he's been having a fun time, if not still completely unsure of where he belongs in this competition thus far. the journey of self-discovery is a good way of describing his experience. jingren genuinely thinks he suits this type of cute concept. the song and concept for this stage is so sweet, like a carnival date. after the time he's spent practicing, he hopes he can start off their stage with a bang! as it begins from a point of view focused on him, a bright dazzling smile he could muster as he brings in his 'crush' in. "oh no, yeah yeah." and it all continues from there. a starting line and verse, that is some serious stuff for him anyway. ( coming from the boy who auditioned and had no idea what he was doing? yea! ) he's proud, so be it!

the lines were initially an concerning point for the group but they've taken the challenge of the uplifting rap and learned how to rap - someone has to do it. cutting them out was not a factor for consideration. jingren puts his whole into dancing, and being in the cutesy vibe the entire time. they feed off each other's energy on stage, honestly. he has one chunk of the rap after yuwol, during yuwol's cute moment on stage acting out the kissing booth. everything came together so well. he hopes his rap came across smoothly, though there's a good chance he remains stronger in his singing skills.

did their concept crush it? did it excel among the other two performances? jingren hopes so - but they could do their best, have great chemistry, and still be beat out by another group. all jingren can say is he did his best. if he will rise or fall, he's already put his performance out there and all he can do is wait.

[bejingren]

🐼 haoranghae attack!

[bejingren]

"yes, that'll really help with us getting the hang of things. i am willing to give rap a try, especially since it seems like i haven't quite found my direction with something specific yet." who knows- it could be his calling for all he knew. and there was surprisingly quite a lot of rap in this cutesy song. the beat gets his head bopping already. he's heard it a few times over, and it remains catchy and having him wishing for the summer season right now!

he's more intrigued by the idea of how he will sound rapping more than anything else right now- jingren can't actually gauge if he is any good without hearing his own recording. opinion honestly doesn't matter here, nor does any feelings of worries or excitement - to him, it is about execution. so jueun's suggestion is fantastic. he plays the song from the start, since it's likely they're going to have potential singing parts. "i'll mark down the times where the raps start so we can go back to those sections... and then we can see how many there are."

"oh wow, there's more than i thought there would be," jingren clears his throat, looking at his groupmate. "guess we will all have to pick up some slack since i don't think anyone in our group is particularly a fantastic rapper. but it's not possible to cut these key parts of the song out." he scribbles down the time, rewinding back to a point so he and jueun can get the idea of how to enunciate those lines.

with how much jueun's ranking has dropped this time around, she was even more determined to do her best with this round to make sure she isn't the next one eliminated. thankfully for her, the song that she was assigned was right up her alley. while pink venom was a nice challenge, and she likes to think she did a good enough job, it didn't seem to be enough for the judges. now that she was given the opportunity to do what she was best at, she wasn't going to let this chance go to waste.

the song was pretty rap heavy and while they hadn't distributed lines yet, she can remember the voices of the judges and how disappointed they sounded when her pink venom team backed out on rapping altogether. this time, however, she wasn't going to back out. if she had to, she will rap and show them that she wasn't going home without fighting and proving that she was capable of a lot of things.

"yes, i'd love to!" she exclaimed before taking her place beside jingren and glancing at the parts he's marked down. he was right. this song was very rap heavy, and jueun most likely can't back out of rapping at least once this time. "how about we listen to the original a few times on repeat first so we get the basic rhythm down?"

[bejingren]

here we go again // @jueunbe

they haven't quite split the lines yet. they're at the beginning, beginning while trying to figure out who suits what. in this competition, they're all various ranks, and sat right in the middle, unmoving. jingren isn't quite pleased with that, but at least...it stayed consistent. and his feedback was on parts he'd genuinely tried to change, so he's going to have to work even harder this time. trying to figure out if they could do the rap portions though - jingren's still wondering if he ought to aim for the vocalist parts or if anyone else wanted to do the rap part. he's quite tempted, but he's completely an amateur in that area. "so jueun," jingren starts, as he is sitting beside his new groupmate, paper in his hands. "how do you feel about trying out these rap lines? there isn't a lot," to the point where it overwhelms the song, "but the parts are significant enough and right before or after key chorus parts. and the beat drops at that area too, which i positively love. but i feel like lots of the song needs some flair and attitude too," he pencils down some marks on where the beat changes, and where they need to rap.

"it's a safe place here. did you want to practice the rap parts with me? so that we can get comfortable before the song before we split up the lines so that we can take any part that we possibly get." especially if the members weren't too keen on rapping as a whole - someone would have to ultimately do it.

[bejingren]

his head drops at the compliment because he's so bad at accepting them, but then he forces his head up to look sarang in the eyes. oh wow, they're really light in tone, distracts him momentarily before he nods and accepts the compliment. "i'm not even trying to be modest. i haven't really processed that i'm even doing all of.... this yet. but being among our group has already put my spirits in a good place. so i will accept what you say proudly rather than pushing it to the side because you're right. i wouldn't be where i am if i didn't have a skillset to accompany this." he wasn't dejected by his first ranking or the second. both kept his spirits up. even if he went down, as long as he wasn't eliminated, jingren would always have the gusto to fight for his spot and rank. "but you're right. celebrating what i can do would be the best for myself moving forward." it's different thinking it rather than hearing it from an outside source.

the thing about mentioning that expressions worry him is about being put on the spot - but this entire competition thus far has had him outside of his comfort zone. he feels like a spastic magnet being forced against each other, pulsing at all times. there's no way to learn if jingren doesn't do the do. turning and sliding his body so that he's sitting directly across from sarang and not looking towards the mirror at all ( peripheral vision, this means you! ), jingren takes a deep heavy breath before willing his face to move.

there's a split second where jingren doesn't even move, and he ends up laughing a little before taking another deep breath and taking sarang's instructions to heart. sure, he may feel a little silly but it's for a good cause. he closes his eyes first, and tries to empty his mind before trying to cross his eyes and sticking his tongue out. "is.......i want to say i probably look stupid, but that's the point. right?"

when jingren's eyes widen at his comments, sarang can't help but feel satisfied. he's nothing if not generous with his love. he takes his namesake seriously in that sense. most conversations with him start with a well-timed, witty one-liner or compliment; all which come from the heart. hopefully jingren understands that his words have meaning to them, and he's not gassing him up for no reason, nor does he have ulterior motives here. sarang merely wants his team to feel confident going into their set. regardless of how talented a person is, if they don't carry themselves with a certain level of self-assurance, their performance will not go as planned. it's literally as simple as that.

"your singing is much more than okay, let's just start with that," he counters his teammate's words, shaking his head in his direction. "i mean it when i say that you're incredible. i realize you're maybe trying to be modest, and i love that about you, but sometimes, it's okay to feel good about your skills, too; to celebrate them, in a way."

though, when jingren mentions that what he's really worried about, sarang's eyes light up, and in one swift motion, he scoots closer to his senior on the floor, crosses his legs into the shape of a pretzel, then turns to face him; mirroring his motions.

"you're definitely right about that. if there's one thing i've mastered over time, it's using facial expressions to add that extra umph to a performance!" he asserts, hoping that if he's confident in himself, jingren will feel like it's okay for him to feel the same way. "here, let's avoid the mirror for right now. what i want you to do right now is make the biggest, dumbest, goofiest face you can at me right now. don't think about it at all, no thoughts allowed. literally just do it."

[bejingren]

jingren - don't call me team a | interview

the interview questions were actually some of jingren's favourite parts through all this. a time for his review of the fruition of all the time spent on practicing, and performing. while not necessarily being a naturally chatty person, jingren did decently with questions and answering them. or so he hopes.

"what was the greatest challenge during this mission?" jingren stays quiet as he ponders his answer. there were a few things. but the greatest challenge? it depends on who you ask..and for what point of view. but a generalization was always difficult for him. so broad. they're not looking for the 'right' answer anyway, but merely his opinion. "after doing our line distributions, i wanted to honour the parts i was given. i did not want to drag my group down in any way. my biggest challenge was keeping my voice steady during the parts with heavy dance, but i did my best to make it stable. dancing separately and singing separately are different from combining the two together. but of course, it is necessary and i hope i did my parts well."

"was there another participant who was especially helpful?" his answer might be less about technical things but he had to say it. shout out to his boy, jaeyoung. "everyone in the team was so helpful, we all thought about the concept and didn't leave anyone out of anything. they really kept me on top of things and didn't let me have any time to doubt myself. jaeyoung was particularly good with keeping a smile on my face, even after hours of practice."

"do you feel confident in your performance?" "honestly? yes. i... don't know if i could always say that every time, especially from the start. but this time, i really did feel confident performing this time. and i hope it showed, and wasn't just my 'feeling'."

"have you grown from when you first joined the show?" jingren nods immediately. this one was a no-brainer. "i've changed a lot from when i first auditioned. i didn't know what i was doing back then, and i feel a lot differently about performing, and myself as a performer now. we are only partway and i don't feel like the same individual that entered the show."

[bejingren]

[bejingren]

"woah, woah, woah..." jingren says immediately with his hands up. "i mean.... leave me kidnapped on the stage or something and we can have some ransom, cops versus abductor concept instead and i won't have to dance. although that might be a bad idea because that's one of my few assets," he chuckles. he doesn't really know what sort of concepts he fits yet, but nothing like figuring that out here. a rap heavy song might be his downfall though. boy does not know how to rap. "not sure how the others would feel about that concept though. 'don't call me... unless you have the money,' " jingren trails off, mumbling. "never said i was good at creative writing," he quips, bopping jay lightly.

honestly, it may seem like all fun and games with anime references here and there but jingren was really starting to get that feeling. the next group challenge, or solo challenge, if he wasn't with jay - it'd feel so weird. or maybe if they were lucky and could make it through, they could have those cute television, competition friendships that could go viral. ( hey, it could happen. ) but so much of his positivity came from being around jay's vivacious personality. analogies were much easier to say than the actual words themselves. yea, yea. "i mean you do have power.... more than me anyway." vague, but there are some things that are better not said with prying ears.

"what am i going to do without you? i mean, i know i'll always see you after the show and whatnot too but..." funny how they got here from random outings as students in their day to day life. this has been a bonding experience. "if we're split up for the next section, i'd feel so bizarre and i'm not even joking. thanks for... being here. even if it wasn't necessarily your or my choice. thank you rng gods!"

maybe it’s simply in jay’s nature to laugh at the stupidest things. he doesn’t hate that side of himself, it just means his humour is an acquired taste. seeing jingren blabbering on about his throwaway line about red strings is making jay laugh though, it’s downright hilarious. he’s commending the effort of course, he wouldn’t call the entire thing nonsense. “are you suggesting being tied up on stage?” jay can’t exactly help it, bouts of laughter escaping his lips. jay probably hasn’t laughed this hard since the competition started, maybe the cameras are wondering what the hell is so funny that it got the ‘grumpy one’ laughing. the answer is just jingren.

“don’t stop talking, i wanna hear more. particularly about how you’re gonna let me smack you. i’m already picturing it,” he teases, letting himself be pushed away but not before giving a light pat to jingren’s forehead, as if he’s stimulating the aforementioned smacking in his head. “i could be the rika to your yuta,” he says, not missing the reference. “i want to be the queen of curses too. imagine having that much power.”

but then jingren asks jay if he’s okay, and—honestly, he doesn’t know. for all intents and purposes he’s technically just peachy, but he’s been doing a lot of thinking and coming up short on most things. “i guess so. i’m pretty sure i’m fine.” not the most confident answer, but it’s honest. “i think i’m better now. it kinda helps that we seem to mesh well as a team.” he smiles, though. “oh, and because you’re part of the team. naturally.”

[bejingren]

a.maze - don't call me (team a) | solo | line distribution

there's definitely something that has changed in the air, from jingren's point of view, in his world. the way he has approached this song is entirely different, with much of the credit going to how the group has worked together. it made jingren more confident in his own skills and rather than hiding away and being a bland block, he had some rather in-your-face parts of the song that had to have some backing behind them. hard to stay out of the spotlight in a group of five, inclusive of their lovely coach. it wasn't just about dancing to the song or singing the song anymore. he was incorporating more expressions and attitude to his performance. being given a song like 'don't call me' was daunting at first, but after the short affair with this song coming to this performance, jingren has had a good time with it. and it's time to show off what he can do. he even watched a recording of him practicing the moves without any facial expressions compared to his attempt after some tweaks and constructive help from the team, and it made a big difference.

he hopes that their concept was also showing their creativity and spin on the origins of don't call me, but with their touches on it. a bit dystopian. parts rock remix. mad max. bladerunner vibes - somethin' like that. honestly he was this tempted to bring in a cowboy hat like when they'd first talked about it but it didn't quite fit any more. and it would be distracting in his dance performance anyway so it's best to leave the changes to the music, and clothes but without anything that would detract from performing it well. they only had one chance.

he's not particuarly concerned about his singular ranking, but he wants his team to win so that they aren't up for elimination. that makes him more nervous than anything but when the music starts, the muscle memory of all the times he's practiced comes in, and jingren has a mental reminder to give it 200%. everything he's practiced for is now up for deliberation at this moment. rinse, wash, and repeat. he has an intense expression on, corners of his mouth downturned.

there isn't any standing moments with choreography for the most part- there's always something moving. limbs and joints, warm, as jingren moves from formation to formation. it always intrigues him how modern choreography doesn't even have the singer standing, and learning how to balance those vocals while in motion was definitely an uphill battle. hopefully one that he has conquered, with his stamina from his dance history here. lots of kicks, honestly. and 'angry' arm movements, in his opinion. his favourite part of the dance is during the chorus. the unit's worked hard. and the ending where inho and he harmonized - they've practiced this many times already. but things feel so different when they're on stage, and they've got one shot - execution, let's go, let go. before the boy knows it, the song is done and after a few seconds, they all release their ending positions when the judges have some questions. jingren feels that he's done so much better this time around. he hopes it shows in the results.