#and other people are out here doing things and here i am having a fucking breakdown over having a problem with a personal art project

[yuyu1024]

Lettuce

Pairings: Mingyu × y/n

Genre/tags: non idol, dating

Warning: 🔞 fluff but still smut, pet names (babes, baby, love, honey, sweetheart etc.), cursing, unportected/protected sex (always be safe), kinks (size, breeding, tits, etc), mention of small age gap, mention of low self-esteem/confidence and insecurities

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 2.6k

Disclaimers:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: been away. I didnt know if I should post this or delete but then... I dont want effort to go to waste so.. 😅 i hope this is an okay one.

Have a nice day.

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"Are you still waiting for your ride home?"

You look at the group of girls standing a few feet away from you. They are from the department across your office.

"Is your boyfriend late?" She adds a follow up question

You smile, "I am." You cautiously answer.

They are not your friends so you are not comfortable to share more than that. And also they are known to be the gossipers in the officr so, any details about your personal life would be the next topic for the next few weeks if you share anything with them.

"It's already late... are you sure he's still coming?" One girl asks.

Luckily, the bus arrives just in time for them to hurry in. No time for you to even chat with them anymore.

"Thank goodness..." you sigh feeling relieved.

*pings*

🐶: sorry, im late. 😭

🐶: i helped an old lady cross the street.

🐶: didn't know she would ask me to also help her get boxes of soju in her shop.

🐶: she admitted to pretending to struggle crossing the street so she can ask anyone to help her and his son 🙃 and then made me buy a whole bunch of lettuce.

🐶: like a whoke bunch😶

🐶: you like lettuce right babe?😚

You smile as you read your boyfriend's text. You don't know if its you imagining him pouting because he feels sorry he made you wait or its because he felt used and scammed.

💖: you're so silly.

💖: its still a good deed so its okay 😊

🐶: but i am 10mins late.

🐶: i cant let my princess wait for me.

💖: i can wait. As long as its you... ♥️

You see him read the message and then not reply.

"Hello stranger..."

You got startled when Mingyu embraces you from behind and kissed you on the cheek.

"Yah! You scared me." You slap his arm

"Sorry..." he giggles and kissed you again. This time on the lips.

"Stop..." you say, blushing. "We are outside."

"So...?" He grins and then puts his arm around you. "We are a couple. Who the fuck cares?"

You roll your eyes. "You know people judge..."

"No... they are just jealous because I am dating a wonderful woman..."

You shake your head. "No... they are not jealous because of me..." you push him away. Forcing a laugh. "Probably because you look good in that double denim look."

Here you go again with your self pity and self judging. You always do this. 'This' notion that you are way below over any other girl and that you are just lucky Mingyu is your boyfriend. You always make an effort to put yourself down without even noticing that Mingyu does not like it.

He fucking loves you. Inside and out. From head to toe. From front to back. He even loves it when you are not at your best behavior nor position. He just... loves you. Period.

But on your end, even with a million reassurance, you always doubt yourself for him.

***

Arriving at his apartment, the first thing you did was announce that you are going to take a shower. You didn't even looked at him when you said it. You're not mad at him or whatever. You are just guilty and feel sorry for being down out of the blue. You didn't even talked that much during the ride home.

"Hey..." he takes you by your arm and pulls you close for an embrace. He kissed the top of your head and then forehead. "Take your time... I'm going to cook dinner."

You smile with no teeth showing. "Okay..." your voice sounding almost a whisper.

"Anything in particular you want? We have meat, fish and vegetables... like a lot of lettuce..." referring to the whole plastic the old lady sell him. "You want something with soup or fried? Ramyun or pasta?"

"Hmm... I like pasta... and a salad on a side?"

"Okay... as you wish my princess..."

The whole apartment smells like a five star restaurant. The fragrance is to die for and makes your mouth water. When you got out of the bedroom, hair still damp, you got suprised by how extravagant Mingyu arranged the dining area. Fancy plates, lit candles, wine glasses and a bottle of his favorite red win. All of a sudden, iy felt like you entered an Italian restaurant wearing your baby pink pajamas and hello kitty slippers.

"Hi, babe." Mingyu is a ray of sunshine while putting on a few more finishing touches on the table. "Ready to eat?"

"Aww..." your heart is aching with pure joy. He is the sweetest man alive.

You stumble your way to him, caused by your own feet. He managed to catch you giggling with you. You look silly but he find it cute. And then as your eyes met he immediately captures your lips for a kiss. Small pecks that got deeper and more seductive. The kisses are loud that it echoes and bounce off the walls of the apartment. He can't also stop touching every curve of your body. From your hips, to your ass and to your tits. He even lifted your shirt so he can access your bra and yank one side down exposing you boob.

"M-mingyu...." you giggle as you try to pull away from the kiss. He does not want to let you go. He keeps on chasing your pink lips whenever a gap starts to build in betweem his. "We need to eat... the food will get cold..."

He didn't answer. He leans lower so he could give love on your exposed bud. He suck it first before he lets his tongue lick it and make your squirm.

"M-mingyu..." you inhale. "The food...?"

He finally lets you go, smiling. "Fine." He chased one more kiss. "But after we eat..." and another one. "I'd like to go straight to dessert." And another one. "You know I love my dessert." He says, bitting his lower lip while grinning like a mad dog.

"You're crazy!" You pinch his nose.

"Crazy over you..." he growls and suddenly picks you up off the floor. He puts your legs around his waist and you automatically hang your arms over his shoulder to hold on.

"Yah!"

"I can't wait. I think I want to begin our dinner with dessert first." His eyes is filled with desire and he is ready to wreck you.

Kicking the door open to your bedroom, Mingyu lays you down gently but in a hurry at the same time. He is on a mission. He is not going to make love to you. He will FUCK your brains out tonight. You know that look in his eyes.

"No condoms... I need to feel you... skin to skin..." he pulls his shirt off and throws it, hitting the wall, then begins to unbuckle his belt and pants. "And I'll like to fill you up until it leaks out of your pussy." He adds, grinning

"Oh God..." you try to get a hold of yourself. Not ready for what is coming

He pushes down his pants and underwear in one go. His length springs free and is up, steady and hard. It's tip glistening with pre cum.

"Turn around..."

You do as he says and go on fours on top of the bed. He pulls your pants down, revealing a bare and wet pussy ready to be torn.

"No panties huh..."

You blush. "Well... I know we'll have sex today... I just didn't know its going to be this soon..."

Mingyu hovers on your back, hand sliding up and down your curves. "Do you want me to stop and just go on with dinner?"

You lower your heard, embarassed, even though he's not seeing how turned on and red you are. "No... I would never say no to you..." after a few breaths in you look back, cheeks red and warm. "You know sex with you is my only addiction."

"Fuck yeah it is..." he says proudly and satisfied

He eases himself in, slowly but deliciously. He skipped prepping you. He can't wait anymore. His dick is aching and wanting to feel your walls.

"I'll be a little rough to you today, babe." He smacks your ass and a moan escapes your lips. "I didn't like what you did earlier..."

"Ughhh!" He slams strong and consistent. It's driving you insane how he could hit the very back of your cervix. Actually he could hit every thing inside you. Thats how long and thick he is. "W-hat... what did... I do?" You arch your back and pushed your upper body up so he can embrace you and touch your body as he thrust your brains out.

"You know..." he grunts as he adjusts and tries to go deeper, even though he is already at the deep end of your insides. "I don't like it... when you don't appreciate yourself..." he inhales and exhales as he feels you clench and make it tighter. "Fuck! Babe!" He kisses the curves of your neck and bites on your shoulder when he feels the tightness thats make it fucking sensational for him

You ubotton your top to give him access to your chest. You didn't unhook your bra though. You just pulled the ladies out and the bra helps give them a push up.

"You are beautiful... sexy... and a wonderful woman..." he pushes your hair out of his way so he can kiss your neck. "Love yourself... the way I love you."

He then pulls out, almost making you cry and beg. But them makes you turn around to face him.

"Can you?" He asks with the most loving eyes

You crash your lips to his. Pushing your tongue in him. You didn't stop until you hear a moany cry from your boyfriend. His brows then creases when you playfully bite his lower lip. "I want to..."

"But what?" He carries you off the bed and pins you to the wall, beside the window of your bedroom. Your one leg touching the ground while the other is hooked over his forearm. "Answer me, babe."

He slams back in you. Stronger and much deeper. Which confused you coz how? Its not like your cervix can expand. But thats what it felt when he slammed you. It didn't hurt. It felt insane actually. Insanely goodm

"You are kind... sweet... caring... hardworking... knows what you like and dislike... respectful..."

You are catching your breathe in your throat. Its like you are choking from excess pleasure. You try to speak but you can't let go of the high. So instead of speaking, you just shook your head.

"You don't agree?" He asks. Mingyu looks at you with his puppy eyes and showered you with kisses. Then he kept repeating all the good qualities you have as a person and even physically.

He really is telling you every bits about you. Everything that he loves and dislike but accepts coz it is you. It is part of you. He really do love you.

"What can I do... to reassure you?"

You put your hand over his mouth. Not to shut him down but to hush him for a second. Just for a moment until you get it all out for him.

"Fuck me!" You cry as you can't help but  cry more of his name. You are so close to your orgasm. "Nggghhhh...!"

You shut your eyes ready to explode but then Mingyu pulls away from your hand, takes you back in bed to finish, when he suddenly says the two words you didn't expect him to say while he's fucking your brains out

"Marry me..." he says.

Your eyes opens, looks at him in pure shock and bliss. "W-wha..." you can't finish your words. He was hammering you. You can't answer. "Mingyu!" You moan his name so loud when your world spun around.

"I love you." He grunts as he see you melt and when he pushed into you a few more times, he finally begins release himself you. All the warmth and every drop of him in you. "Fuck!" He exhales, dropping his body on you but not his weight. "I love you..." he says again. "So much..." he kisses your shoulder and then your cheek. "So... what do you say?" He smirks

"Suddenly?" You look at him, confused.

"Hmmm..." he scrunches his nose, still wearing the smile on his lips. "Not really..."

He then gets up, pulling out of you, which felt like you got more naked than what you are now. More exposed.

"Wait lemma clean you first."

He runs into the bathroom and takes a towel to wipe you clean. Just clean enough to be presentable but not totally wipe his seeds off you. He wants that in there.

And then he runs out of the room.

"Where are you going? Babe?" You are confused. Why is your man running outside the bedroom ass naked

Giggling as you see him comeback in and carrying the plastic bag of lettuce.

"Huh? What's that for?" You sit up and wrap the thin white blanket to your body.

"I lied. Well... we still going to have salads and all..." he is mumbling. "This should be over dinner... but... I could not help myself earlier so..."

"Mingyu... what is going on...?"

Laughing but still trying to pull a serious face. "It was true that an old lady sold me this but... as I was helping her she took the paper bag the came wit this... and I panicked." He sits down beside you. "I didn't want to put it in my jacket or pocket coz... it will be obvious... and when we walk and your cold you always put your hand in my jacket's pockst so..."

"Mingyu!" You grab his face and kissed him. To make him focus. "Just say it..." you are giggling now too.

"Okay..." a soft smile spreads to his lips. "I know... you may think... I'm still young and naive."

"No you're not..."

"Yeah but... still... anyways..." he nervously laughs. "Like I said... you are an amazing woman. Anyman who you choose to love will be the luckiest. And thankfully its me..." he then goes down to his one knee and pulls out a black box from the plastic of lettuce. "I said I didn't like what you did earlier... you looking down at yourself... but that does mean I hate you or mad at you for it... I just say that because I care.. I want you to feel... assured and happy." He opens the box and shows the most brightest ring you ever saw in your life. "If I have to always reassure you for the rest of our lives... I don't fucking care. I am up for it. I love you and I can't live a day without you." Pulling out the ring and taking your hand. "Please marry me... I will serve you and love you forever..."

You watch him put the ring on your finger.

"So...?" He looks at you with doe eyes

Letting go of the blanket covering your body, you launch yourself to him, making you guys fall on the floor. "I love you Kim Mingyu..." you say first before kissing him. "Forever is not a bad idea..." you kiss him again. "Of course I will accept."

"Sorry if I proposed to you after sex... at diner would've been fantastic"

"Don't say sorry... I do love your way..." you get up from embracing him. "It brings back to how we started."

He sits back up. "Right."

Then you stare at your ring. "Who could've guessed that... I will be marrying the guy I met and fucked at a friend's birthday?"

[unhinged-waterlilly]

Hello!

Something about @/demigod-jack-hearth

Something I wanna say about this post (with my reblog on it). I wanna give a side of a story. Mine to be exact.

They were one of the first people I talked to outside of rp. They were a close friend. But that fades.

I DONT WANT THEM TAGGED IN THIS I DONT WANT THEM TO KNOW ABOUT THIS. I HAVE THEM BLOCKED. IF THEY LEARN ABOUT THIS, IT IS BECAUSE SOMEONE SEND THIS TO THEM.

Tw: sa, strong language, I'm a little bitch, please please please read at your own risk

When start this by saying Jack worries me. I've seen so many post, rp or otherwise, where they bring up extremely triggering comments...just randomly. This has happened to me too. I don't get bothered by them I've been lucky enough to not deal with most and be comfortable with what I have dealt with. I think he needs professional help. Or to talk to someone that is an adult. This is difficult for some people. But there are free therapy websites out there. I have seen them. I have participated in them. The people on the other line aren't professionals but they are people willing to listen. And adults.

It started with when I saw an rp they had with camp Sky. I can't give screenshots of that but I do have some of confronting them.

Now all good right? Yeah! I thought so too. Untill an anon confronts em.

Posts here and here

Oh...kay? What's wrong about this?

Yeah...

Actively calling out anon

Now mind me I thought they had buried this au deep deep into the ground. Wasn't until I opened Circe's blog that I realised they didn't. I was pissed. I had every reason to be. We have so few stories of male victims as it is and this 'au' was blatantly disrespectful to victims of all genders. I felt really fucking disrespected that's for sure.

Unfortunately I don't confront them. But I do vent.

Now I feel bad for this. Maybe this was dirty laundry I shouldn't have aired out. But I was just so angry I couldn't think properly. I didn't mention Jack in this post, but friends figured it out. I won't say who these friends are for obvious reasons. Also, this is a bit wrong. They thought Odysseus cheated with only Circe, and Calyspo was SA. I got that wrong, and I admit it. I only remembered that when I scrolled up our dm to take a screenshot of it.

Now I wanted to leave that convo because I wasn't in the mood for arguing, and I've learned to give people what they want, which makes em and yourself stop. My fault again.

Things happen. It leads to the apology. Now, obviously, I can't tell if an apology is genuine through a screen, and I am most certainly a pessimist. So, like, I don't think it is. Also, I'm almost certain that most was written by whoever the friend was who 'helped' em.

Sure, people can change, but not enough times do they actually. Just look on the Internet. And real life. A person like Jack, well, they've talked to me enough to know it is most likely not the case. If they were so angry at a piece of good criticism, then I don't have much hope.

Am I an angry person ? Yes. Do I think I have the right to be? Yes. Am I also a logical person? I believe so. The people I've asked think so, too. I don't dislike something for no reason. But I do dislike things. What I do like is reasons for my dislikes. With me so far?

Good. Moving on.

After the apology and after I finally got my thoughts in order, I sent them a message because they tagged me. A lot.

This is what I sent. It's emotional, but in my opinion, it also makes sense. I was mad they lied to me. I was mad they twisted the story so. Fucking. Much. Odysseus isn't a rapist and Circe isn't an innocent flower. That is not what an AU is. What was their reaction to this? Nothing. To me at least.

A mutual friend told me they sent the last half of my messages and told them that they were angry I. Didn't. Thank. Them. For. The. Apology. Take that for what you will.

Now they made another post replying to the first anon who criticized them. I've read it. And when I tell you it is so fulled with self-pity-

I haven't collected my thoughts properly about this so this is bad and more emotion than the above. but this is the basic things behind it.

1) never directly addressing what he did and constantly tell em to read the apology. Don't wanna repeat yourself. How much time is it gonna take out of your day exactly?

2) not acknowledging the fact the male sa victim. At all. They don't say anything about it. No 'my condolences'. No 'I'm so sorry that happened to you' . Not acknowledging how terrible of a thing that is. At all.

3)says they aren't gonna defend themself... and defend themselves

4) have yet to tell us who these people are. Which is just bad cuz there are people out there who are okay with this. If they were IRL friends just say that.

5) it felt just fucking dull

Maybe this isn't right. Maybe you disagree with these points. But do not tell me you disagree with the rest.

I wanna end this by saying I am victim of SA. Did I tell him this? No. Maybe I should've. I don't feel comfortable sharing it. Because remembring fucking hurts. Remembering means crying and opening the lights and either sitting or laying down on my back because I can still. Fucking. Feel. It. And I was nine.

I don't want your pity on this. I don't want you to say sorry. The people you should be saying sorry to are the people who are not believed when this happens. Feel sorry for the people who cannot report this stuff because they don't trust the people who are supposed to protect them. Feel sorry for the people who think it was their fault and they actually wanted it when they didn't. 63% of rape are not reported in females. Only 12% of child rapes are reported.

I can't find a clear fucking statistics on males.

Do you know how difficult it is for males to have any representation at all? How many male victims do you see online? Even Odysseus being regonized as one is recent. Fucking. Stop. This is more than a made up story. It means the world to some people. So this actually happen. It might mean everything. This was taken away from them from so many retellings. And a stupid fucking au.

If you want to talk about SA, wanna make a character out of it, learn about it first.

So I'm not going to forgive and I am definitely not going to forget. You can. If you want. I don't care if you do. But I ask you not to forget. Please.

I am tagging Jack's taglist

@zariahthewitch @thegroovydaughterofhestia @if-chaos-was-a-boy @the-gods-strange-children @silena-daughterofaphrodite @fabulousdaughterofhecate @weakest-son-of-sun @chaos-pers0nified @neoptolemus-achilles-son @bast-the-best26 @goddess-of-bubblegum @hispanic-child-of-hermes @gaygirldoodles @luck-is-crucial @reyna4ever @vicious-daughter-of-zeus @feral-hermes-child @oopsies-i-did-a-thing @unfortunate-daughter-of-hestia @that-girl-cupid @ariathemortal @love-lightning-forethought @emdabitchass @kaiaalwayswins @champion-of-revenge @zoe-aura-of-d3ath @itsyourboyezra @lunar-eklipso-r @pink-koi-lovejoy @that-daughter-of-athena @sleepy-as-a-song @smileyalater @gellyhelio @daughter-ofthe-moontitan @demeters-daughter-is-done @the-smart-and-the-dumb-one @trinket-snatcher @creature-under-ur-bed @burnt-out-bitxhes @cloak-of-ares @heraaaaaaaa @unproblematic-hestia @i-was-never-sane

[yuri-is-online]

Bro floyd is so handsome-

And he's weirdly the only twst character that I can describe as handsome??? Like every other character I like is either cute or pretty. Trey and leona might have been handsome to me at one point but I'm just. Not attracted to them yk? Even Jade! Jade is very pretty! He's my evil little wife! But floyd is like. The only one that's actually handsome, like in the traditional sense. At least to me he is. Just like. His mannerisms I guess... idk man he's cool as hell and weirdly reminiscent of dark vintage americana. Weirdest fucking aesthetic I can connect him to but fuck you I'm connecting them (national anthem demo 1 by lana. I was reading the lyrics and also the overall vibe of that specific version of the song just kind of cemented for me)

Idk dude sometime I just go into you inbox and dump out my twst thoughts with no real purpose or structure and this is one of those times 🦵...also it's 2 am so that probably has something to do with it. Good night Yuri!

The prequel to this ask and also still goodnight because it is rather late here rn

Floyd is very much a mob boss, old Americana, guy you obviously should not be attracted to but still everyone kind of understands why type of guy. He's handsome in italics, in a way that you giggle about and exaggeratedly wag your eyes because hey you could be joking.

He's that sort of handsome where most interested parties would ditch him after a weekend. Handsome in a way that sparks but doesn't start a fire, like one of his bad moods that's strong, horrible, and will do so much damage but is gone as soon as it's come on. Like a man desperate for a real connection and can't quite get it, who is looking into your eyes while it rains outside not saying anything but really wanting you to know it's real. Handsome like the guy who doesn't get the girl but everyone knows if the writer was paying attention to their own characters would have been the better choice.

Handsome in a way that's stammered out without a technicality offered by someone small, vulnerable, and foreign to everything he knows in more ways than just the one obvious fact who ignores all of that stuff. Handsome enough for the spark to catch and the connection to wrap itself around your waist and drag you into the ocean without a single scream because the part those stories often ignore is that there are people who would look at an eel three times there size and still "would."

He laughs, dizzyingly loud and all the things he is at once because what he thinks of you is much simpler than all of that. He thinks you're cute~ so cute he could just eat you up.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Heyo!!!!✨️✨️✨️

You write Hero x Villain so well and I was wondering if you'd be willing to write about a Hero that was kidnapped by the Villain, and Hero is expecting harsh treatment, but they instead wake up in a lavish bedroom, restrained to the bed of course but it's a very nice bed. It turns out Hero had been overworking themselves and Villain was worried about them and had had enough. Maybe Hero tries to argue that they haven't been overworking and Villain goes ballistic.

It was a joke.

It had to be.

The hero looked at the handcuffs (which were their own) and then back at the villain.

"You're kidding." The hero was seldom in the mood for jokes. Most of the time, they didn't understand the references their friends made or ended up explaining jokes which people - apparently - did not like. It was quite hard for them to find anything funny. A cat was funny. A sound could be funny.

But a practical joke? Not so much.

"Honestly, I wish I was. Do you know how heavy you are? I would have never dragged you up here for a joke," the villain said. They were sitting on a luxuriant chair across the room, one thigh on the other. Their foot was dangling in the air happily and they looked well rested as they drank from a coffee cup.

"What time is it?"

"It's ten in the morning." The hero smiled to themselves. "On a Monday."

"What? No. Shit. Shit. Fuck-" The hero was already late to work. They were always 30 minutes early. They couldn't be late. They started struggling against the restraints, tossed and turned, tried to pull and free themselves. But it didn't work, no matter how much forced they conjured.

In the end, their wrists were sore, nothing more.

"Relax," the villain purred. "For some strange reason - which I am not associated with - your workplace has been shut down. Water damage."

"What did you-?"

"Purely coincidental," the villain lied. They shrugged and finished their coffee, setting the cup down on the tiny table next to them. They stood up and once they were in front of the villain, they leaned over them. "You look very good in my bed, by the way."

"Am I your hostage? Is that it?" the hero asked.

"Hostage? My god, do you know how much planning and energy that requires? Too much work, really." The villain tapped the tip of the hero's nose with their index finger. "My love, do you remember when I broke your leg a while ago?"

"Still hurts like shit when I work out."

"Hm." The villain almost looked like they were sorry. "Well...that was a rather harsh method, I have to admit. But a very effective one. Until you started working again, harder this time. I didn't see that coming."

The hero stared at the villain. Initially, they had thought the villain would understand what it was like to sacrifice themselves for their beliefs. The hero was, in many forms, very dedicated to both their jobs. The one in the office and the one outside of it as a hero. No task was too much, no overtime was too long.

Of course, the hero heard the whispers about themselves, they heard how their family made fun of them for working long hours and how they judged them for never finding time to meet up. After a while, the hero had stopped getting into arguments with their parents. You wanted me to have a steady job or my work is important to me were not good enough explanations for them. So, the hero had given up on that.

But they had genuinely thought the villain would know what that felt like. To be invested, to be motivated.

"Is being determined such a crime?"

"Determination and obsession are two different things, my love," the villain said.

"What do you care anyway?" the hero hissed. They were sick of people getting into their business and telling them how to live their life. It was more than exhausting.

The villain was quiet. They studied the hero's face and eventually sat down on the edge of the bed. Their lower back was touching the hero's side.

The hero did not pull away.

"Your hand has been shaking for two weeks now," the villain said. "Do you think I am willing to fight a weak enemy? That is below me. My equal is supposed to match me in combat. Not only attractiveness."

The hero didn't say anything to that right away. They knew they had had...struggled with fighting these past few weeks. But they had not wanted it to be due to their work. It was clearly a coincidence. Some harmless infection or illness.

"Listen...I am fine. I have a good job and I have a duty to fulfill."

"When you go home after work, do you feel like you have accomplished anything?" the villain asked and the hero, despite how sure they were of themselves and their work ethic, knew that the villain was digging into a wound with dirty fingers here.

Because, no, the hero did not feel satisfied, they barely felt relieved.

"Do you feel happy?" The villain's eyes were boring into the hero's. Curious, brilliant eyes.

The villain was quite provocative but this was right out a punch to the gut.

"You are asking unfair questions."

"You don't like them because the answer hurts. You are miserable. What you are doing right now is devouring you. And once that is done, what am I left with? Another one of those broken heroes who dies in their twenties because it's all too much?"

The hero looked at them, tears burning in their eyes. It was their job. It was their chance to prove themselves.

The hero was worth something. They were useful, they were smart. They were good at work. What would be left for them if that was being taken away?

What was the hero without it, anyway?

"Right now," they said, "I dislike you very much."

"Our relationship goes beyond simple fights," the villain explained. They let their fingertips dance over the hero's throat, even let their hand cup it carefully. Goosebumps spread all over the hero's back. The villain could have choked them anytime. But they didn't. "It's a vicious cycle. You and I. We cannot escape. And that is your duty. That is your priority. The objective which demands all your attention. Stopping me is a lot of work and you need to focus on that. If I get too powerful, you know what happens. I want power. I want power over you, over the city."

"So instead of working the usual way, you want me to work because of you?" The hero was quick to blink the tears out of their eyes.

This was simply ludicrous. The villain was wrong. They were lying, manipulating.

"No. I want your attention, I want your dedication. The healthy amount." The villain leaned over them, their lips brushing the hero's ear. "I can be nastier if I want. Right now I could break any bones of yours to force you to rest."

Their fingers glided up the hero's forearm until they found the hero's hand. The villain took it.

"But I saw how much pain that caused. And how disappointing the results were. So. Last chance, my love. Tune it down. Or all of us will suffer."

They pressed a kiss to the hero's temple.

However, the villain had to kidnap the hero three more times until the hero decided to start taking care of themselves.

[deathdetermineslife]

this will be a long winded yap session however I want to answer something in regards to the poll you made.

i personally don't think nonsharers are "doing too much" or "being obnoxious", actually, I think they're the only real part of the ficto community. sharers don't see their f/o as their real partner. this is a fact. you do not love them like we do. and honestly it's just a shame so many nonsharers get hate because!!! we!!! actually love our partners!!!

you wouldn't want to share your real partner, would you? no, probably not, therefore why would you be okay sharing a fictional one? you aren't ficto! and I'm honestly sick and tired of people selfshipping for a hobby because you do not belong in this community! you are not really and truly ficto. plain and simple.

nonsharers are the only valid form of selfshipping imo. I'm and sure if I sent this in off anon I'd be lynched, so, I won't. but this is the opinion of most nonsharers. we don't like you guys, you make us look stupid. okay send tweet bye have a good morning/night/evening.

hey anon so actually what the fuck

there's so much to unpack here. first of all, hating on an entire (valid, may I add) part of the community is crazy work. second of all, some people are polyamorous. do you know that? not everyone is monogamous. third of all, I don't exactly know if this was directed at me considering one, I am ficto (which ??? you don't have to be nonsharing to be ficto,,, let me get out the ficto handbook and check here—), and two, I am a sharer, which doesn't make me any less ficto?

let's break this down; sharers make the ficto community (the "real" ficto community) look stupid how? because we share our partners? and this effects you... how? this is a genuine question. how does me wanting other people to love my husband (because lord knows he deserves it) making the ficto community look stupid? I myself am not poly, but would you go up to a polyamourus ficto and tell them they aren't really ficto because... they're fucking poly??? I'm trying to wrap my head around this.

there's actually so much happening in this I'm struggling to fucking understand. hobbyists are also selfshippers! they are selfshipping! what! you don't have to be exclusively ficto to selfship... also another thing we're forgetting, fictosexuality is a spectrum. I am exclusively ficto, but not everyone is??? and it's crazy to confidently say "sharers don't see their f/o as a real partner THIS IS A FACT" because it's not. he is my real partner. he's the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life. where are you getting this information anon.

why do so many in this community insist on being genuinely so hateful. no one is making this community look stupid other than you for being an absolutely terrible and mean person. we DO NOT put other people down on this account. you're right anon, people would be on your ass if you said this publicly, because this is flat out just mean. no better way to phrase that. you need to do some serious introspection if you think entire groups of people aren't valid for something that has no effect on your own selfshipping.

[kosher-salt]

Just saw a post that was basically "Hey off of the internet people usually aren't so crazy antisemitic and most of my day to day interactions as a visible Jew are normal, everything is gonna be ok" and I'm making a new post to not derail, but...

I'm super glad, obviously, that this is the case for many of you. But I do think we should be ringing the alarm bells. Because while you enjoy your grocery trips and post office in relative peace (as you ought to), here is a VERY incomplete list of things I have dealt with in the last 11 months.

-assaulted on my way to class, followed, spit on repeatedly (magen David necklace)

-professor took me outside of class and told me I needed to denounce my Judaism (I mentioned in passing my dad's family in an anthropology class)

-same professor refused to accept my final paper for reasons that did not match up with paper, email full of dogwhistles

-same professor told everyone to attend the protests and "teach those zionists to know their place" she is a Black Latina young professor. Yep.

-another professor straight up refused to accept any assignments that mentioned Jewishness (they were assignments about our families). Gave a student who submitted nothing except a picture of a Palestinian flag full marks. Failed me. I am an all As student, btw. Forced to drop.

-the chair of the anthropology department threw my complaints wabout said professors away without due process. His social media is full of blood libel.

-had to miss my finals as I could not physically get to them due to the protests

-followed and harassed in stores

-synagogue was vandalized multiple times

-called a kike while things were thrown at me

-protestors stood outside of my apartment patio with final solution signs

-new apartment, away from campus: friends of roommates harassed me constantly, to the point I could not use common spaces. Roommates told me that's his right because it's his "political view." He didn't even live there.

-new roommate moved in, less than 48 hours before she attempts to stab me, after learning I eat kosher style. "...kosher? kosher?! FUCK YOU" stab stab, etc. Bitch that was my good knife.

-the other roommates tell me to gtfo of the home I'm renting, keeping my rent ("you people can afford to lose money") and destroy a good portion of my belongings while cursing to me random nonsense about Israel. The police took 25 minutes to get there. We live in the middle of the city.

-fun fact: I had never mentioned my political stance to these people and it's not on my face-out social media (very bare bones profiles)

-been disbelieved by everyone I told this to including the police, my school, the leasing company, and my now ex best friend of 7 years

-cursed at in a store when I asked if there was a kosher section

-told nobody likes Jews because we bring down the vibe and have a victim complex. My knuckles are healing just fine after that, btw, thank you for asking! She is not.

I don't know how to request the 7th off from my school without basically incriminating myself with a threat of violence. There is no world where I just sit there when a classmate says "happy October 7th."

Hope this helps.

[cotl-flower-crown]

Going on hiatus*

*Well, kinda.

Hey, I'm gonna start this post with "omg, this blog has more than 2 followers, what the fuck?? That's crazy!". I don't usually look at numbers, because I don't want it to be a focus on my platforms, but just know that I appreciate every single one of you and I hope that you all enjoy what I'm doing here. Like at the moment of writing this there is 2277 people that decided they want to look at my art more and it makes me very happy, thank you! ^^

So uhh yeah, hiatus.

Not gonna lie, the past few months has been stressful for me and I have reached the point where my chest and stomach are in pain and I can't get enough sleep because of it, among other things (damn you mosquitoes!!!). It's something that happened before and it might take me months to recover from it. So I suppose you could say that this hiatus is mainly for the health reasons.

Though it's also because my gut is telling me that it's time to move on from this fandom to do other things.

Hear me out. It's not that I hate COTL now, far from it, I still love this silly cult game and I will follow what MM has to offer for this game in the future. I am just kinda not keeping up with myself when it comes to posting. I've been trying to post about my favs at least once a week, but honestly it's been a struggle to pump out anything at all lately. It's not that I don't have anything to post, I'm just tired and burned out.

So yeah, I think it's time to put this blog on hiatus for the time being. What I mean by that is I don't want this blog to be the top of my priorities and I want to take it easy.

I don't want it to go completely silent though. I'm planning to open my ask box again, because I miss interacting with everyone. However I will not do any art requests or draw anything for the asks in general. If I do, it will most likely be poorly drawn or it will be something related to character design, since that's what I'm most comfortable with, but I would prefer not have to draw at all. Though I am open for writing. I also wish to draw sometimes, so maybe I will post some artwork when I feel like it. I'm just not gonna post as often as I used to. It might take like a month (maybe two, maybe three, etc) before I decide to make anything.

What's the future of this blog? I am not sure yet. There is a chance that eventually I will abandon this blog entirely OR I could repurpose it for fanart in general. To be honest I'm leaning towards the second option at the moment, but that is a future me's problem.

I think that's all I've got to say right now. Again Thank You everyone who decided to follow, reblog and like my art and leave comments, I appreciate it all, and thank you to my moots and friends that I made along the way, I love you all (plat/non parasocial) and I hope this will work out.

TLDR: I'm going on hiatus, but not completely silent, also ask box open, but no requests

[lumeha]

Guess what I've seen more takes I disagree on the internet but decided to make my own post about it because why not : )

But. Gods. I love the work they did on Felix recruitment out of house. Felix's recruitment out of house should be the gold standard of out of house recruitment. But the problem is that it works because Felix is, well, he's Felix.

Out of house recruitment has probably THE biggest impact on Felix. His character arc in AM VS his character arc in other route is completely different. And at the core of it is that Felix is a stubborn bastard who needs to have him pulled back from the ground so he can finally see the whole story. Something he does experience in AM ! Because, like, after all, after everything, AM is the route where Felix can finally see Dimitri fully, and seeing Dimitri fully is one of the things that lead Felix to accept some things about himself !

Things he will never learn or accept in other routes. Like the fact that, yeah, actually, taking the title of Shield from his father is something he can do in his own way, and that a lot of his feelings regarding chilvalry is directly linked to the fact that he doesn't want to see people get hurt for his or someone else's sake !

The contrast between his endings outside of AM, where he's a bitter lone wolf who doesn't let anyone get close, VS his endings in AM ? Fucking night and day. And it's all because out of house Felix is a prickly bastard who, yeah, during the officer's academy time, can and will think he can do better and be stronger if he goes into a different house, because he thinks he's chasing strength's for his own sake.

And it takes a lot for him to stop believing that.

It takes him having to face his own grief directly (over Glenn and over his father) and having to see Dimitri for who Dimitri is, not the idea he's building of who Dimitri is. Something he can't do if he's out of house. Because he's a prickly guy who is stubborn and doesn't want to see it. He doesn't want to. Because it fucking hurts. And he's not dealing with emotions well at all. Actually he's just not dealing with emotions at all, in a way, he's bottled that shit up and it explodes in anger and he's a mean bastard because he's just not dealing with it.

I think - one thing in AM that does change things a lot for him, in particular, is that he does search for Dimitri. He doesn't really admit it out loud but he does ? And it's a whole. Thing. About having to deal with who he thinks Dimitri is. and that he still loves him (we don't care which way here) even if he's been thinking that he's lost the Dimitri he's known as a child all this time.

He doesn't understand Dimitri's trauma, but frankly, he doesn't understand his own either, which is why his path in and out of house is so different. Because in one path, he gets to understand that. In the other ? He's still running away from it. And he's making sure he's never getting caught by it.

[not-goldy]

Pretty sure Jk knows he's being used & singled out, but anything that happens he knows benefits him in the long run. The more exposure, the more power and leverage he'll have when negotiating in the future. This man is discovering he has power & believe he ain't walking til OT7 Jimin does, but the day it comes, they better be ready. Jk literally rubbing it in Hybe's faces about Jimin's song being on top Radio (which they tried to sabotage) And Jimin doing the same constantly talking about Seven on the charts. A power couple who's not afraid to let that company know they know. We love to see it. I mean the man went on a public Jimin rampage blasting Jimin's Face, when that lame ass company didn't do a damn thing & was screaming he misses Jimin and next thing happening is the company is like here he is, go enjoy your all expense paid trips, but for the love of god stop showing your ass publicly. We can't defend you anymore lol. I'm waiting for calm & cool Jimin to snap, then it'll all come tumbling down. Remember this song he sent to Tae? Don't Lose Sight, by Lawrence?

"Are you kidding me? I'm getting sick of the industry. I've had enough of the make believe. Am I lost or found? I'm getting sick of the ups and downs. No need to give me the run around. I'm out, This shit's gonna kill me but I won't let it. And I try to give 'em hell but they don't get it. So I tell myself when I sleep at night don't lose sight, baby. And they try to give me up but I won't give in and this life will get ya down but I keep livin. Are you kidding me? I'm getting sick of the in between Running in place isn't interesting To me. Am I good enough? Does that even matter or is it luck? I'm checking the prices on giving up. And this shit ain't ever gonna change."

Jungkook has always known his power. I use to make blogs about this especially on how he leverages his audience to force the company's hand.

It used to be so subtle- well not so subtle to some of us. We seasoned 😌

It's a power play the things they bring to the internet to discuss sometimes. Tae does it, Jimin does it ever so smoothly you barely know he is doing it.

My favorite being when I speculated JK was "allegedly" banned from vlive for a while and Jimin had to come on live and deliberately read comments about Jungkook and how people wanted to see him. Next thing we know, the next day hybe had Jungkook before the cameras- but on YouTube live and not vlive🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

And when we speculate that a particular post has hidden meanings people act like we on drugs- which they not wrong but we on the right drugs😌

Now look, look at him not even pretending anymore straight confirming and doubling down on his hidden messaging.

This why I don't give a fuck about no one's opinion you know? I trust my opinion better and may be that of a few other bloggers and friends. We have our heads screwed on the right way if I do say so myself

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading trigun in japanese 6 - kaite's foreshadowing. plant synchronization's downside

remember in my part 3 and 5 i was talking about hierarchy? surprisingly, it continues past chapter 8 with kaite. and wolfwood. triangulating nyoom

(to be honest... ive been doing these read and analysis completely blind in a 1st JP read through. so its possible ill find new nuances, get things wrong as the context shifts and changes, so my stuff looks like its scattered all over the place. sorry about that.)

i think ill start explaining names and meanings. kaite's name in japanese is kaito. カイト. this can be a homonym with i think 怪盗 (kaitou) in this case, which means phantom thief. for trying to help Neon with stealing loot from the Stand Steamer.

left bubble next to neon: 道案内は的確だったかね！？ I trust your guide has been giving you clear instructions?

^the headaches with manga translations has always been to keep texts short and reasonable for flow and readability, so these simplifications can and sometimes must happen.

but, add dakutens, the " on 2 of those カイト katakanas and suddenly, kaito turns into. ガイド gaido. Guide.

so Kaite has been playing as a guide to lead vash to his death at the hands of Neon. this page is such a fucking whammy with the wordplay going on. if you just read this in japanese theres a moment of "oh shit, no way, Kaite, vash just told you to stop betraying people! what the hell!"

yet theres a level of trust going on already, so its not as bad as it seems

nightow really likes his worldplay. i really like this page.

kaite redeems himself by later charging into the boiler room and helps turn the valve to stop the sand steamer from running off cliff and killing everyone on board....

hm. a guide. and those sequences

we sure have a lot of guides here. one who appears in the manga later with a kansai dialect. and another in TriStamp, where he is younger than he appears.

when i spoke about hierarchy and the fact that vash is over 150, i was also kind of hinting that all of current humanity are akin to children in the system of JP hierarchy. that takes on extra meaning with a little change of context and language

wolfwood is filling in the shoes of kaito here in tristamp. and within trimax, kaito foreshadows him. incredible.

theres actually more going on with wolfwood and certain design/changes choices i wanna talk about with tristamp but ill save it for another day. maybe when i run into him in this read later

Plant Synchronization downside.

....so theres a bad downside to vash synchronizing with the plant that i didn't catch. which also answers what the fuck was going on in tristamp when that version of him hits the ground

nightow mentions this in an interview, link here posted and transcribed by xoxo-otome (thank you!) that he likes action flicks and has incorporated a lot of action into his work. and its true. there is so much action in the form of sound effects.

reading through the entire manga and paying attention to the sfx peppered around offers a lot more context to whats happening in half of the panels that seemingly doesnt make sense

like this one where the top panel has "DADADADADA" sfx. so they're stomping down the corridor with their guns crossed and facing each other. the "GO OH" in the bottom panel emphasizes the sudden burst into open air. unfortunately, anyone who values their life and sanity in this economy will not want to translate trigun's sfxs 100%.

i should have paid more attention when reading trigun in english. but i didn't so here i am. in the trigunbookclub tag now doing this.

why is it important? here. this. below. when vash does his plant thing with his sister:

see those heart panels? i tried searching real quick but nobody seems to have pointed this out. i havent seen this in EN fanfics. maybe i missed it. maybe im stupid:

thats Dokun, the sound effect of a heart thumping. as vash synchronizes, the heart panels with the same sound effect appear, but they gradually split apart further with ellipses "..." to signify his heart beat slowing down. and down. and down....

Dokun, do kun, do... kun....

then the wings comes out. and the panel below it:

sfx: PIIIIIIIIIII

breathes. a FLAT LINE.

aaaaaaAA?!

何かなんだかわかりません I'm not sure what's going on. とにかくプラントの動きは一切止まっています But the Plant's movement has completely stopped. 同時に男にも呼吸　心音ともに停止してます It's the same with that man. His breathing and heartbeat sounds like it's stopped with the plant too.

AAAAA?!!?! the も means vash is in the same state as the plant?

i.... um. um.,, ANYWAY-

AAAAAAAAAAAA?! HUH?! HUH??? HUH?!

is THIS why he has a metal grate over his heart? something happened and he an an operation on his heart???? by some engineer maybe? what? huh? am i reading this wrong? what? wait, hello? HEY!!!

what the fuck. okAY--?!

and then he just. pretends like nothing's happened. doesnt tell kaito anything. and he leaves the Sand Steamer.

and im going to have to sleep bc its 5 am now and pretend like i didnt just realize something this big right in front of my eyes during the first read.

[stonedgirlstan]

Loki- Sex Pollen

Warnings: 18+ SMUT AHEAD!!! MINORS DNI. Oral receiving(Female), Teasing (Friendly and sexual), pinning affection toward reader, P in V, 

Author’s Note: I hope you guys enjoy this one shot. It’s been a while since I wrote, I’ve been busy with school and since I am finished with school. I can finally get back into it! Also I DO NOT consent to anyone taking my work as their own. 

It has been a weird relationship between you and Loki when you joined the Avengers. Tony found how your combat was like Natashas, and how you were an assassin  like Bucky. You were a trained killer, did everything on your own for a while, never needed anyone to save you or protect you. Until one night, you were on a mission to kill the leader of Hydra for a pretty penny but it went to shit when the Avengers captured you and needed to know who you were and what your purpose was. You remembered Loki, he was the one that captured you that night. 

“My my, what is a pretty thing like you running around here with no one to protect you?” Loki said with a smirk as he trapped you in one of his illusions. He wanted to make sure you though you were trapped in a cage when he saw you sneaking in.

“Fuck you. You don’t get to speak to me that way. You don’t know me.” You hissed as you look for a way out. Loki chuckled at you and steps closer and looks at your eyes with mischief.

“Guess its time for a lesson. I’ll see you when you wake up.” Loki says as everything went black. You had no idea what happened after that. When you woke up, you saw that you were in a bed with a vital machine handcuffed to the bed. You looked around and saw two people you didn’t recognize.

“Where the fuck am I?” You croaked, haven’t noticed your throat is dry. The woman looks at you with a warm smile. She looked familiar, she had short red curly hair, and deep eyes.

“Hello there, I’m Natasha Rumnoff. You are at Avengers Compound. We took you because we have questions about your skills and if you would want to help us take down Hydra.” She said confidently, You looked at her with realization, she was your teacher from the Red Room. But you were able to escape before they could do any other testing on you. 

“Ms. Rumnoff, why did you bring me here? I made sure no one could find me in 30 years. I made sure of it.” You said with a drip of anxiety in your tone because you were afraid she would take you back. She chuckled lightly and smiled softly.

“Y/N, I am not part of the red rooms anymore. I got out, I am part of the Avengers. They are my new family and are very accommodating. But Steve and I both need to know who you’ve been working for and if you can be trusted.” She says sitting next to you keeping eye contact. You laughed like a mad woman, you looked at Natasha and the guy she called Steve. 

“When I left, I couldn’t afford being found out. I started working as a contract assassin. My associates I worked for were secret and so was I until you guys found me and had me trapped in a cage with a linky man in green.” You said coldly staring at the both of them. They looked a little shocked that you were captured in a cage but they remembered Loki found you first and made sure you won’t leave. 

“That's fine, and I want to say now, you are safe, no one is going to force you here and keep you locked up.” Steve said finally after processing everything. He tells you that you need to stay with them for the time being, he informs you how Hydra found out about you and they were gonna capture you themselves and use you like they did his friend Bucky. You reluctantly agree to stay with one condition, that you can talk to Loki about his mind tricks he put on you. 

Ever since you came to the compound after the capture, you started to slowly warm up to everyone. You thought Loki hated you with the way he would tease you, but little did he know, you really liked him, his gorgeous eyes, his quirky smile, and the way he fought in battle when you guys went on missions. But you would never tell him that and about this crush you started growing for him after that night. He was different from any other men you’ve seen or been with. 

“You know woman, you are making that face again.” Loki says as he looks up from his book, you were admiring his body in that tanktop and pj pants he came down from his room in. You blush and look away,

“What are you even talking about? It’s my face, it’s called RBF” You said trying to be confident even when you are blushing for him seeing you eye fucking him.

“Oh really? So you just look at everyone with them doe eyes and lips puffed out like your about to attack?” Loki says with a smirk, he knows how to make you blush and he finds it cute. You roll your eyes and walk about flipping him off as you leave the kitchen. You wonder if something would change if something can happen between you and him. But he doesn’t like you like that. As you continue walking to the elevator FRIDAY calls for you to inform you that you need to see Fury and Steve, they have a mission for you. You sign and go up to the office where they were located.

“Hi Y/N, we have a mission, there is an abandoned HYDRA base. We need you and Loki to go get any details they left and bring it home. We know they were trying to experiment on women and super soldiers into making sex last longer and in hope they would repopulate some soldiers. They were not successful, hopefully. So we need you guys to go look around and find the plant and paperwork on it. It is very dangerous and I know you are the two for the team.” Fury says as he lays everything out letting you read into more. You didn’t notice Loki arrived until you heard him make a joke.

“Well, looks like this will be fun. Won’t it bunny? Hopefully you don’t get scared if you get caught in a cage again.” Loki smirks as he reads the papers over your shoulder before grabbing it from your hands. You roll your eyes and chuckle at that since it was HIS fault you were “stuck” in a cage to begin with. 

“Yeah yeah, we get it Loki.” You said as you walked up to the monitors to get the jet ready for our trip. After getting everything detailed, you walk out of the room to go to your room and grab your bag. You take a few deep breaths even though you’ve been on a few missions with Loki, you guys have never been just the two of you. Bucky and Natasha normally join you, but this time it is just you and Loki.

“Y/N are you ready?” Loki says as he approaches you while behind you as you walk out of your room facing the door taking breaths. You jump a little because you had no idea he was behind you.

“Uh- Uh yes, I am ready.” You say as you calm down from the scare. You roll your eyes and head to the jet. You put in the coordinates to the locate you are needing to go, you sit in the front to get it off the ground and go so then you put it in autopilot to get started.

—

You guys finally arrive at the abandoned HYDRA base. You look over everything, you know the flower, if it is still in the base, looked like red petals with a pink stem that glows like gold/red. Loki isn’t looking at the flower, he is looking at you. He loves the way your red and black jumpsuit hugs you curves and makes your ass look around. He is about to say something when saw you grab your knife, your glock, and your half face mask. 

“Are you ready Loki?” You say, you noticed he was eyefucking you from behind after grabbing everything you need to go inside. He coughs and nods, he follows closely behind you.

“You know, for being a human, you sure know what you're doing. How do you know about this flower? You seemed a bit concerned when Fury brought it up.” Loki stated as he watched you stop in your tracks. You turn around to look at him.

“Believe or not GOD, I had a run into this flower before on one of my contracts. They had a boobtrap spray and I miscaulated it and got hit right in the face. It isn’t something to be reckoned with. It causes very high things that you may have never experienced before.” You said with a smile, you continued down the hallway. You stay quiet while you know Loki is trying to say something clever back to you since you basically called him a virgin. You see in front of you there is a door opened. You see the glowing flower, you slightly stiffen. Loki walked into you as you stopped because you had BAD memories about this flower.

“Why did you stop.” Loki asked as he fell back a bit. All you could do was point, he looks where you’re pointing at. Seeing the flower, Loki decides he is gonna worp into the room to received the flower since that is part of their main mission. Y/N scream ‘NOOOOO’ as Loki gets closer, he picks up the flower and it sprays its mist in his face. Loki coughs as he drops the plant. Y/N was quick enough to grab it before it broke. You didn’t inhale any of the mist, your mask was made for something like this, you put it into the bag to keep it safe and contained while you saw the papers next to where the plant was and gather as needed. You look back at Loki when you are done. He is staring deeply at you. His eyes are blown out with lust, he is sweating profusely. You swallow hard when you call for him to get his attention. You know the effects on this plant happens within seconds. 

“Lo-Loki?” You stutter as you walk slowly to him. He just groans at the sound of your voice.

“Wh-what is-is happening?” He asked as he wipes his forehead. He is getting hotter by the minute, he needs to take off his suit, as he starts to you call for him again. He stops and looks at you. He groans because he want to take you right now over that table, watch your sweet ass bounce everytime he thrusts.

“It’s the flower, we need to get back to the compound now.” You say as you brush past him and starting heading toward the jet, but you were stopped by his hand grasping hard on your forearm. You look up and see his face more. 

“It hurts, I’ve never felt like this before. What is this plant doing to me?” He says as calm as he can as he is squirming in his pants for you.

“The plant is called ‘Sex Pollen’ it heights all of your sexual needs and fantasies. You aren’t going to stop sweating or feeling hot until you get a release… inside of a hole.” You say as you shake him off. You know he can fight it if he tries, he is the God of Mischief. You both head back to the jet without another word. He is right on you, you can feel his hands sliding up your body creasing your curves.

“Loki, you gotta stop… please. I want you to take this. It’ll help you.” You offer him water and a sleeping pill to hopefully help him fall asleep and stay asleep on your way back. His eyes were black looking back at you. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I know you don’t like to be handled like this… I am trying to help myself but its hard… you are so ravishing. I know you don’t deserve this.” He says sweetly as he picks you up and places him on his lap. You are shocked at how close you guys are. You swallow, he allows you to give him the pill and the cup of water. He goans at how hot your feel in your suit. You help him lay down as you walk out of the room. You know that he is only being like this because you are the only one here. He brings home women every night, you know you aren’t his type. As you set home, you sit and take a small nap to help you understand everything that just happened.

—

As you & Loki makes it back, Bruce, Tony, Thor, Natasha, and Bucky run to the jet to check on you guys and get Loki to quarantine since he was sprayed. Bruce, Thor, and Tony take Loki who is stringing while being carried out. Natasha and Bucky come to your side, they saw how distraught you were. Your hair was matted to your face, face flushed, and you wouldn’t look them in the eyes while they asked what happened. You had a nightmare and it made you fall into mute like you were back in the Red Rooms. Bucky scooped you up and carried you to your room with Natasha by his side. They knew it was rough for you to be back around that flower. They had some of it before when they were captured, it made Bucky sick that he couldn’t go because originally was supposed to be with you. But he decided at the last minute to say no and take Loki instead. Natasha runs a hot bath for you and helps you out of your suit and into the bath. She starts singing Feelings fade, it was the one song that helped you during the darkest times in the Red Room.

—

Loki wakes up in pain, he is still hot, his hair matted to his neck. He has a very hard cock straining in his pants. He longs for you but doesn’t want to seem desperate to you since he has been mean in playful way, he doesn’t think you’ll want him, he has longed for you. Every woman he brings back to have sex with. He thinks of you the entire time, the way he thinks you’ll feel milking him dry, how sweet your voice would sound moaning for him. He finally noticed that he was alone in quarantine. He makes a break to your room using his magic, because he is desperate and needs a release. He wants you to be his. He walked into your room through his protal, and saw that you were awake. Wearing a tight tank top and pajama shorts sitting in bed writing. You heard him before he walked through, you ignore him because you know he is still high on the mist and just needs a release,

“What are you doing here loki?” you said not looking up at him. He groans at the sound of your voice. It was feels like sweet honey.

“Y/N… I really hate to ask… but… can I lay with you? I can’t find any kind of release with my hands… I want you…” Loki says looking at your with hooded eyes as he starts to strip in front of you. You choke out a laugh because he has to be kidding right? Out of everyone he wants you?

“Loki, I don’t think that’s a good idea.. You don’t even like me. We only get along for everyone's sake. But deep down, you don’t like me.” You said finally looking up and seeing him naked. How defined his muscles looked, his v-line that ran down his waist right to his big red precum oozing cock. You choke a bit, he is more beautiful then you ever imagined..

“Y/N, it is below me to ask you, but you are the only human in my eyes. Yes I’ve laid with other women but I couldn't get you out of my head. I thought about you everytime, wondering how you felt beneath me. Panting… Moaning… clawing me and begging me. Woman, I am in love with you.” Loki says as he walks up to your bed, sitting down caressing your calf before slowly moving them up. You thought for a minute about his sweet words, maybe he did feel the same way about you as you felt about him. You place your notebook and pen down and look at him, he is completely fucked out by this flower. You feel compelled to help since you felt like it was your fault. You look up at him and move closer.

“I guess I’ll help. But I’d like to talk about these feelings after since you’re currently on drugs.” You say as you close into him with a kiss, his lips were so soft yet a bit chapped from him biting his lip. He lunges into the kiss grabbing your waist as he pulls you close to him, he nips at your lips to open them up, you moan light which makes him feral. He grabs your shorts and pulls them off, almost ripping them. You gasp at the motion, he lays you down and starts to eat you out like a starved man.

“Oh Loki, ooooh’ You moaned as you get a grip of his black locks in your fingers. He groans against you, using his tongue. He is staring at you as your back arches, you were seeing stars.

“Loki, I am about- fuck- about to cu– cum.” You whine out as you felt like it was about to snap. 

“Cum for me.” He says as he sucks faster on your clit, he puts two fingers in you scissoring fast for your release. You  arch up and cum hard all over him, he starting rutting against the bed, needing to desperately. He looks at you like a mad man ready to ravish your goods.

“I can’t wait any longer, I need to be inside of you.” Loki says as he rubs his head up and down your slit before pushing it in. He groans at how tight you are and how wet you are. He stills for just a moment before moving, his pace was brutal. You’ve never thought this would happen within the time you’ve known him but you know he is under drugs currently and you don’t know if he really means what he said.

“Oh… OH MY…” You said as he kissed your cervix with every thrust, clawing his back. You haven’t felt like this before, you are so full of emotion. You didn’t notice you were crying till Loki hauled his movements and touched your cheek.

“Pet, what is wrong? Am I hurting you?” He asked as he slowly pulled out of you, he is still drugged and needs a release but you being sad makes his heart break. You shake it off and continue but he stops you.

“I know that I am drugged but I want to be frank. Y/N, I am very much in love with you. I have wanted you since the first day of meeting you, when I captured you in the cage. I love the way your hair flows, how stubborn you are when we do missions. Everything about you has captured me… which is weird because I never had these feelings before and I am TERRIFIED because I don’t want my heart broken.” Loki says as he caresses your cheek looking deeply into your eyes as he slowly thrusted into you lovely. You sigh,

“Loki, I am in love with you as well. It took a while because I thought you were a total ass, but you grew on me with your witty comments and teasing. I am crying because I am full of emotion because finally it happened, not the way I wanted, but it happened. Now let's get this out of your system so we can have a coherent conversation.” You say, as you pull him into a deep heated kiss, he growls against your lips and starts thrusting faster. He pulls away from the kiss and smirks, he flips you over so he is able to get you on your hands and knees, has he thrust harder pushing you face down as he has one hand on your hip, the other on your neck. You are close, you feel the coil in your belly tighten. 

“Loki, I am about- bout to- fuck- cum.” You stutter as you grip his cock tightly as he fucks into hard. He groans at the feeling of you.

“Cum for me, I am close.” He says as he pumps hard into you, you finally let it snap and you cum hard, thinking might have even squirted on him with how much you came. He moans at the feeling and releases deep in you holding you still against him as he doesn’t want to lose the heat. He finally after a few minutes slowly pulls out and lays you on the bed as he walks to the bathroom. He comes back with a washcloth to help you clean up, you are very sore from tonight's actions and all you want to do is sleep. But Loki has other plans.

“Y/N, I want you to know, I’ll be here in the morning when you wake up. I want to give us a chance and you deserve a date. I’d like to be your boyfriend if you will have me.” Loki says, stroking your face softly. 

“Of course Loki, I’d like that.” You smile, you move closer to cuddle and lean up to kiss him goodnight before passing out.

[shark-myths]

tell me more about the writing class!

I would loving nothing more!

so my long-time writing crush @alienfuckeronmain (seriously, we became pairing rivals in a now-deceased fandom more than 20 years ago) runs an amazing writing class annually. It is fully virtual and recorded, so you can attend synchronously (I recommend this because the Q&A after the lecture is invaluable!) or whenever works best for you. It focuses on writing as a LIFESTYLE, something sustainable and full of joy, healing the productivity/perfection trauma many of us come to associate with the craft. it focuses not on sharing and critiquing writing but on how to support yourself and your life so that you can DO it, for fun and for love, in a way that works for you. it is such a healthy and beautiful approach to my favorite thing in the world, I highly recommend the course. The website is here and the instagram account, bloodinkbonewriting, also has a lot of info and promo material. Phoenix herself is an incredible talent with some recently published books I highly recommend. She’s most famous for being canceled in various fandoms, writing the finest one direction fic you can imagine, being the master of dead dove and fucked-up dynamics, and of course, humanized Cars fic.

self-disclosure / soapbox time: I work as a psychologist, and I so frequently encounter grown-ass adults who made all the right choices. They put away ‘childish’ things like hobbies and passion and silliness and intensity, they prioritized all the values our culture prizes, and they end up feeling so fucking empty and bleak. I constantly connect to gratitude about my daily writing practice, about my relentless and unprofitable pursuit of writing for joy. I have been writing rpf since I was thirteen years old. I thought I *invented* it and would certainly go to hell for my ingenuity. And it is the richest part of my life. I meet all the best people this way. I love who I am and the way I live because of being connected to art and community—a community of transformative work and creativity and passion, of screeching about our favorite things without self-consciousness or self-erasure. I genuinely believe this is the best part of my self and life. (except for my cats.) and when I encounter the dullness and misery of a life at the grindstone, I know beyond doubt that writing and fandom are my #1 protective factor. They are the reason I don’t feel that burned out and hollow way about my good, good life.

if you do one thing for yourself, find a way to create and connect joyfully and without the evaluative eye of others upon you. and if you have lost the way to doing that with writing because of the world we live in or, worse, the educational system and endless pressure to make your art profitable—blood ink bone has my highest recommendation as a gentle way to recover that path within yourself!

[roblogging]

Its not that i dont agree because i do but theres bigger conversations to have

I think theres bigger things in the world and your world than the reboot and those are conversations you could be having ie Gaza?

hi anon !!

i am SO glad this has started a conversation !! so fucking glad !! i've seen a lot of people discussing it on tiktok now (a lot of my mutuals too so ily). i'm glad we're talking about it now because as i said in another post here on tumblr (the one where i had 47 trans people reach out to me and tell me about the transphobia they've faced in the fandom) this is bigger than a reboot.

and i do have bigger worries in my world, you're so right. my world is so messy in so many ways.

which is why i discussed how to make This world, the marauders fandom, feel safer and more inclusive. because i don't want to be arguing with my hormone clinic about the prices being raised, as i do every two months when they're raised to try and steer me off of it, and then come home and "relax" in fandom to see people hyping up something that profits jkr. i think that's valid.

i think this is a valid discussion for this space, right? i think the "what about xyz" view of conversations is actually more harmful?? we absolutely can discuss more than one thing at a time but i do also think that the hyping up of a reboot of the franchise on which our fandom is built upon but claims to be entirely against the franchise creator? i think that's a very big discussion that absolutely does need to be had in a queer-based fandom that a lot of trans people engage in.

and because, as stated, we can discuss more than one thing at a time:

here is the link tree that is accessible via my tiktok (and has been for months). here you can find gofundmes for palestinian families that have reached out to me for support, charities for palestine, information on gaza, and resources for congo, sudan, and trans rights (also putting together a lebanon section <3)

here is a link to my "🇵🇸river to the sea🇵🇸" playlist on tiktok . the videos that i have made for palestine are all in there, and they all have resources in the comment sections (such as exchange rates, families to follow and support, and people within the fandom that are offering buddy systems for donations)

here is the link to my public favourites folder full of videos to boost, families to support, informative videos, ways to indirectly support etc.

and if you go to my tiktok here and check the third pinned video, that is for Haneen and her family who still need as much support as we can offer <3 (gofundme here: please be wary of exchange rates !! NOK is a very weak currency, hence why the amount of donations is so high but funding isn't)

i will continue to discuss what i believe strongly in, regardless of how many conversations that takes. there is no limit on support, and there is no end to change, and it is possible to discuss the things that harm us personally, and those that harm others at the same time.

what a silly thing to say i fear

[inkskinned]

what is considered "beautiful" by society is inevitably sexist, racist, ableist, classist, transphobic, and bigoted. it targets and attacks any perceived difference, and it particularly villainizes women of color while co-opting aesthetics; as if features and cultural norms can be worn as accessories.

and the scary thing! you can see all of these things, know them to be true logically, and also know that you are treated better if you are perceived as beautiful. if you have ever been treated as "ugly", you know exactly how much society reviles you if you don't manage to scamper along and perform to their rules.

and how are you supposed to balance that? do you want a nose job to fix your broken nose, or have you just recently been seeing videos about how many people look better after nose jobs. do you want to lose weight to feel good, or is it that when you lose weight people treat you better. do you want to wear this outfit, or is it just the thing that's least likely to get you harassed. do you want to get lip injections for your reasons or is your whole reason that you don't feel beautiful unless you get those lip injections?

and the definitions shift. the goals get more specific. in the way that you only become aware of your tongue when someone mentions it; parts of your body are introduced as problems. i had never heard the term "hip dip" until about a year ago - and it was in the context of how to get rid of this. i'm 30, i know this shit is invented, and yet! i still find that strange voice saying but do you think someone is going to notice?

how the fuck am i supposed to say "this is my genuine choice i am making for my body" when i also know that years of my life have been spent socializing me to accept this as my inevitable fate? how do i know i'm actually doing this out of love for my body - or am i doing it for how i want others to see me, which will be lovely enough to feel loved? how am i supposed to recover when my unhealthy habits are seen as self-discipline but if i relax i'm openly mocked for "letting time win"? how the fuck am i supposed to say "i'm doing it for me" when i'm also very aware that i'm doing it to stop myself from being teased or demeaned? is it my choice if the other option is being bullied?

we are living in a hostage negotiation - either consent to the demands or spend the rest of your life being treated like you're a despicable person.

[quietwingsinthesky]

people are saying he « led her on » because he did. the fact that he kissed her in the first episode set the tone for the rest of the season and if you can’t perceive the flirting I’m sorry but how?? he didn’t make anything clear he sent the craziest mixed signals in the world. there’s nothing revolutionary about claiming that Martha was being pushy toward someone who was clearly not interested it’s 1) weird to claim in what it suggests about her 2) factually not true.

I wasn’t gonna respond to this at first because the top half of this ask is pretty much just individual interpretation and I don’t really care about it. Like, no, to me, the Doctor doesn’t seem especially flirty towards Martha. He’s just sort of Like That. That’s his damage, you know, Mr. I need to traumadump on anyone who tolerates being around me for more than five minutes. Mr. If I don’t develop an intensely codependent emotional bond with the companion I have currently I’ll die. It doesn’t read to me as him trying to lead her on because that bit’s honest, and he does it with damn near every companion he’s ever had.

And if nothing else, because we do see Ten when he tries to flirt intentionally and he’s a fuckin dork about it. Kind of guy who looked up romance in the dictionary and took notes. Kinda guy who draws diagrams to maximize kissing potential. It would have been obvious even to me (<- romance-blind as all fuck) if he was flirting with Martha on purpose because he’s not smooth at all; he flirts like he’s gotten lines in a play and he’s super excited to be the main star.

But anyway, as I was saying, that’s just how I see it. And if you see it different, no skin off my back, I just disagree.

But I take umbrage with you putting words in my mouth. I never said Martha was pushy towards him. Because yeah, she’s not. If I implied that she was, then it was a result of poor phrasing on my part. Martha’s not at fault for what she feels, for wanting there to come something of it. No more at fault than the Doctor is for not returning those feelings. It’s a bit weird that you’re assuming that I think one of them has to be the bad guy here when that was the opposite of what I was saying. My point was: When it comes to their romantic subtext of their relationship, it’s weird to pretend like either of them are to blame for them not being in a relationship at the end of s3, and even weirder to assert that as part of why Martha supposedly wouldn’t like the Doctor afterwards when they’re. friends. they continue to be friends into s4.

Martha’s not pushy. She has a crush on her friend. It happens. He doesn’t return it. This also happens. Both of these facts are pushed to the extreme because he’s a time-traveling alien with poor emotional skills and she’s put herself in the position of needing to help him from minute one of meeting each other. That’s why it’s fun to watch, because the Doctor is both so open and so unavailable in turns, because Martha’s feelings for him grow and change as she knows more about her Doctor until she decides to step back.

I don’t know, man. You seem to be coming at this as if one of them has to be The Problem™️. I don’t think either of them is, not so definitively. I think boiling their relationship down to that is reductive and an insult to the way they both grow over s3, to Martha’s choice to continue to be his friend while also establishing her own boundaries, to the fact that the Doctor is able to let her go without immediately trying to kill himself afterwards when she’s not there to catch him.

[krispiecake]

tell me why i can hear another tenants fucking music from my flat. HE DOESNT EVEN LIVE IN MY BUILDING. HE LIVES IN A COMPLETELY SEPARATE BUILDING ON THE SECOND FLOOR AND I CAN HEAR HIS MUSIC FROM MY FLAT. MY FLAT WHICH IS IN A DIFFERENT SEPARATE BUILDING.