#and only partially on behalf of their parents)

[papergirllife]

Johnny Suh

(aged up) Alpha Johnny x Omega Reader

Synopsis:

Falling for an older man is still considered acceptable in today’s society, but falling for someone who’s taken, by your own mother even, is never the cliche stories you commonly hear. You thought your little crush for your mother’s fiance was going to go away naturally, that they’ll get married and break your heart to pieces and you’d be able to move on, what you hadn’t expected was for them to break up and it was partially your fault. And when he moved away, you’d thought you'd never see him again, but your job brings you back to that sweet cinnamon scented alpha once again.

warnings: aboverse, daddy kink, breeding kink, overstimulation, unprotected sex, heats, ruts, knotting, minor angst, the mother in this story is a narcissist, absent father, fainting (briefly).

DON’T LIKE, DON’T READ, JUST SCROLL, HATE COMMENTS AND ASKS WOULD BE DELETED AND BLOCKED.

wordcount: 11.4k

a/n: so i’m back, but not entirely, mental health is still bad, but um, really wanted to write this, so if this flops i’ll be deleting this and rewriting the story to fit someone else lol, okay, bye, enjoy the story. and this is based on the song cinnamon girl by lana del rey.

Growing up, there’s one thing about your life that has been a constant and that is uncertainty, all your life, instead of having a pair of parents that diligently try their best to pave a smooth road for your life ahead like most parents, they had chose to lay out eggshells instead, their behaviour had manifested a constant spike in your heartbeat whenever you make a mistake in life, similarly to the feeling of prickling your bare feet by accidentally stepping onto a cracked eggshell on the floor, that’s how you’ve always felt ever since you were a child, every step you take, a pinch here and there that’s bound to push you over the edge one day, and that day came sooner and far more unexpected than a thunderstorm.

That thunderstorm had costed your mother’s marriage, and she never fails to remind you, how your attempt of ending your life had driven your bipolar father to the brink of his sanity, blaming your mother for her inadequacy of being a parent while he excused himself so easily just because he has ‘longer hours’ in the office.

Your father didn’t even try to fight for parental rights, he merely signed you away to your miserable mother, and that broke something inside her.

She begins taking more care in her appearance and goes out of her way to meet new people, particularly alpha men, she was particular with traditional first gender stereotypes, it didn’t really bother you, the rancid scent of some alphas could be avoided as long as you were in your room. 

Since you were growing into late teen hood, she only gives you the necessities, basic interactions, things weren’t getting better, but they weren’t getting worse, to you, that’s considered a win.

Things were looking bleak until your mom engaged an alpha with honey in his eyes.

Johnny Suh, a young man your mother had picked up from one of the many parties she had attended on behalf of work, a client of her company apparently, he lasted the longest compared to all the others, you thought he’d stay forever and become an addition to your broken family, until another storm brews right in front of your eyes. 

That day you had been sick, your mother had to rush back from a date to take you to the clinic, Johnny, being the gentleman he is, accompanies her with you, you still remember that day as clear as crystal. 

The nurse had complimented how pretty you were, and that you take after your mother, to which she was delighted of course, gushing that she gave you all the good genes, no one but this nurse thinks the two of you look alike, you have always shared more similarities with your asshole father, not enough to make you feel sickening to look in the mirror, but just enough to remind you that you’d always be associated to that asshole.

After a thorough consultation, the doctor says that you had a bad reaction to the new heat suppressants your mother had switched to for a lower price. 

“You better not fail your next driving test the next time around, or else you wouldn’t be able to get yourself to the clinic for heaven’s sake, and why are you always so sensitive to medicine? Can’t you be normal for once? Why do you have to be a freak?” your mother rambled all the way to Johnny’s car.

You had kept your silence, you weren’t feeling well anyways, you don’t have any energy left to argue with her, but instead, someone speaks up for you.

“Hey, why are you so harsh on her?” Johnny asks, at first he dismissed your mother’s odd alter ego towards you as a culture difference, since his own parents have migrated to the states so many years, he had always been told parents elsewhere are harsher towards their kids, but this feels like a personal insult towards you, and he might be 10 years younger than your mother, but not to the point of having such different views on how to children should be treated.

“She’s always been such a handful, all my friends’ daughters are so much more mature than her, they help clean the house, cook, always have good grades, not a burden like you are!” your mother emphasises on the last part by craning her neck to look at you with her hideous eyes, she’s not ugly at all, maybe average if you’re being mean, but she is horrid in your eyes, which is why you never understood why Johnny, a successful man at the ripe age of 28 would ever settle for a single mother omega with the worst mood swings ever.

“Why are you speaking to your daughter like this? She’s your own flesh and blood, you never told me there was such a huge riff between the two of you,” Johnny says, exasperated, oh there’s so much he doesn’t know, this is merely the surface.

She mumbles something under her breath that you didn’t quite catch, not that you bother to listen, you just want to lock yourself up in the safety of your room.

After a week from that day, your mother comes home with a slam of the door as tears stream down her face.

“This is all your fault!” she screams with a weak shove of your shoulder before she, surprisingly, retreats to her room. Later you find out why, because of the absence of the 6 foot tall handsome man who hasn’t dropped by for dinner for days now.

You thought you’d never see him again until you see his car waiting for you one day after you finish your college entrance examination.

“Johnny?” you call out, the handsome man has grown out his hair now, a beautiful lock falls right above his right brow, giving him an even more mature look, you’d always thought he was baby faced for a 28 year old man, but now he finally looks his age, guess this what people call a ‘break up glow up’.

“Hey, just thought I’d drop by to say congratulations, and maybe buy you a meal, you must’ve worked really hard these past few months,” Johnny offers, and who are you to reject him when you’re sick of having the same food your mom cooks. 

“Did you get back with my mother?” you ask when you settle down in a fancy restaurant, your uniform looks cheap against the pretty red velvet walls, you note, even the waiters had judged when you walked in.

“Is your mother here?” Johnny asks, looking up from the menu, seemingly having decided what he’s having because he’s flagging down a waiter.

Johnny orders for the both of you, you had only mentioned that you’ll probably try the pasta you want once, and he never asked you to repeat yourself nor asked you to state your order to the waiter yourself, but he waits to see if he got it right, or if you’d like to order more, to which you quickly shook your head no, scared that he just might order more. Now you know why your mother was so heartbroken, you’d cry if you lose an alpha this attentive too.

You always had an odd sense of comfort when Johnny’s around, his scent was never overbearing, he has never once bossed you or your mother around just because he’s an alpha, he has been so respectful towards you, unlike some of the creepy alphas your mother brought back.

Just being in his presence again simmers down your post exam anxiety and general anxiety, you didn’t know Johnny's departure had such an impact on you until seeing him again today, it’s like your omega feels at home again.

The two of you talked with a newfound freedom, away from your mother’s watchful eyes. She never likes it when her boyfriends give you more attention, she’s always seen you as her competition.

Johnny asks about your ideas on how your future might look while he updates you on how he took the leap to establish his own company with the support of his best friends that you heard him speak about to your mother.

But everything good comes to an end, and yours come in the form of your lunch with Johnny ending, but the big blow is what he tells you right after reaching your neighbourhood.

“My new office is in Seoul, I’ll be moving tomorrow,” Johnny suddenly confesses.

“What? You’re leaving? Again?” you ask, a lump building in your throat.

Johnny winces at the wording, he thinks you know the relationship was toxic, how he lets your mother have her way in everything, but you’re just 18, a young girl who’s hurt time after time.

“I’m sorry, this company…has been my dream, and your mother and I, we’d never get back together, I don’t think we were ever compatible, I only stayed because…, nevermind, here, this is for you,” Johnny says, opening the glove box in front of you, passing you a little cardholder wallet.

“My business card is there, it has my office address as well as  my number, personal and office, there’s also some gift cards there, Jo Malone, Sephora, I know you love perfumes and make up, get yourself something nice, a small gift from me,” Johnny says.

You don’t know when you started tearing up, but you felt Johnny use the expensive material of his sleeve to wipe away your salty tears.

“It’s going to be okay, just one more year, and you’d be able to move away from your mother, one more year and you won’t be binded to her legally anymore,” Johnny reassures, but that’s not what you’re sad for, you’re sad that Johnny’s leaving again, and so far away from Busan too, there’s no way you’d be able to leave the state without your mother knowing.

“Does that mean I could come find you in a year’s time?” you sputter out, the words taste bitter on your tongue.

Johnny freezes in his spot, the feeling of being on the borderline, he’s an adult, and an alpha more so, it’s not appropriate for an omega this young to be staying with him, yes you’re legal in terms of age, but it feels wrong still, but Johnny looks at you, he really looks at you this time, and he realises how you’ve grown into a beautiful young woman, even with tear streaks and a sour pear scent that makes him miss the soft sweet scent of pears in spring, he still thinks you’re absolutely ethereal in every way.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a year’s time if you don’t change your mind,” Johnny says as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, he can’t have your pretty locks soaked in your own tears, seeing you cry and being the reason of your sadness already has his alpha howling in protest.

“Really?” you ask him once more, thinking you heard him wrongly, that your delusional mind had made things up for you.

“Yes, I promise.”

There’s so many things you want to say to him, but it’s better to keep it to yourself, you’ll just hurt yourself if you don’t.

So many things have changed since that fateful day, you no longer stay with your mother, instead, you’re staying with your rich best friend who has an apartment all to herself after her ex moved out.

You barely talk to your mother these days, merely giving an update or two for her every few weeks, at first she was ballistic when you said you were going to move out, but when you told her that Hyuna wasn’t charging you rent, she was ecstatic to help you move out of her humble abode. 

You haven’t thought of looking for Johnny until you realise the modelling agency you’re working for expanded, and so now they’re planning on taking on bigger jobs by moving their HQ to Seoul, which means you need to pack up and find a place in a city you barely know.

“Still looking for somewhere to stay?” Hyuna asks, bringing over a mug of wine for you, she’s always been a day drinker, a habit she’s passed on to you.

“Yup,” you say after taking a sip, just what you needed, “thanks for this, it’ll be perfect for my nap when it hits,” you joke truthfully.

“You’re still having issues sleeping?” Hyuna asks, her brows furrowed in worry.

“It’s been a long time now, don’t act all surprised, it’s not going to go away,” you say, deciding to shut your laptop after bookmarking a few places, still a bit over budget, but maybe if you took on more jobs, you’d be able to make ends meet, and maybe no more indulging yourself in expensive food and groceries like you do now, hopefully you’d still have enough for the heating when days get colder.

“The cinnamon candles don’t work?” Hyuna asks, looking at the direction of your room, probably trying to catch a whiff of how strong the scent is.

“It helps, but it takes me forever to fall asleep, but at least I can sleep,” you say, recalling the gruelling times when you couldn’t sleep at all.

“If it’s this bad, it means what you had for him is more than a mere crush-

“He didn’t even say anything, it’s just me, Hyuna, stop giving me false hope, he only cared for me out of pity, we wouldn’t even have met if it wasn’t for my mom,” you defend yourself, it’s true, if he felt the same, he’d speak up, maybe called you or something, your mother probably gave him your number before, Johnny’s a straightforward man.

“Maybe he wasn’t sure of how he feels, how do you know he’s not suffering just like you are if you’re not willing to even give him a call, maybe you could stay with him for a few months before you secure your own place, just to confirm if what you’re feeling is truly just a fickle crush, please,” Hyuna pleads.

“I’ll think about it after my nap,” you say dismissively, leaving your bestie in the living room, she’s going to miss your stubborn ass when you’re gone, but you’ll probably be in better hands if you’re nearer to Johnny.

You don’t know how’d you get here, at Johnny’s doorstep of his big ass house in Gangnam, standing in between two expensive cars.

You had taken up Hyuna’s advice to contact your ‘almost stepfather’. 

When you called him, he was surprised to say the least, he hadn't heard from you for three years, he thought you had moved on in life, leaving him as merely a closed chapter.

The phone call had been brief, just a quick congratulations and brief updates before Johnny had to dash off to attend a meeting.

Needless to say, Johnny has been excited for your arrival, he hasn’t stopped wondering how you were since the day he left Busan, he doesn’t know if it’s because he’s missed caring for you while he was with your mother, but ever since that day, he’s had this emptiness in his chest, and just by knowing he’s seeing you soon has relieved this sense of emptiness that was once a hole in his chest.

You finally plucked up the courage to ring the doorbell, quickly stepping aside when you caught whiff of the familiar scent of cinnamon. 

Before you know it, you’re being greeted by the familiar alpha, he’s buffed up since the last time you’ve seen, time isn’t an issue for Johnny when he ages like fine wine.

“Hey, come on in,” Johnny says after getting over the initial shock of how much you’ve grown, instead of the little girl that her mother picks fights with, now the little girl standing before him has grown into a beautiful young lady.

Johnny has a new problem now that the emptiness is gone, and it comes in the form of that emptiness being overfilled.

Your scent, it’s different from how he remembered it to be, yes it’s still has the major notes of pear, but he remembers picking it up notes of your mother’s rose scent, which isn’t surprising since sometimes a mother’s scent lingers onto their children, especially if they’re both omegas, but now that you haven’t lived with your mother for so long, he realised that the scent lingered due to proximity, not biology, and it has him reeling.

He thought his desire to care for you is due to the fact that he once had love for your mother, but now that he’s living with you, he realises that the scent of ripe pears was also lingering on your mother just as her scent lingered on you, and now he’s questioning whether he was initially attracted to your mother because of her own scent or the soft but empowering scent of pears.

“Johnny?” 

“Yes?” Fuck, he should stop having these stupid questions filling his mind, he isn’t attracted to you, maybe he should get laid soon, maybe it’s purely an instinct thing.

“I was asking you if you could turn up the heating a bit? My body isn’t as warm as an alpha’s” you remind him, but just then a sweater on the sofa catches your attention, “Oh wait, I could just borrow this, you don’t mind right? If not I’ll head up to unpack,” you say, to which Johnny nods, he forgot to even ask you if you wanted to eat anything after your long journey.

The sight of you drowning in his clothes, god, you’re going to be the death of him.

A few days later, after having gotten used to your new living environment, and adjusted to your newfound proper sleeping schedule, to Hyuna’s happiness and her constant ‘I told you sos’, you decided to cook Johnny dinner as the many forms of 'thank yous’ you’ll be giving him.

You decided to cook him a simple pasta to start off, deciding to make your own pesto sauce from scratch, which is why the two of you are spending your Sunday morning at a supermarket, browsing through the many aisles after deciding to splurge on a block of aged parmesan cheese.

You walk towards a pile of fresh basil, but frown when you see the ‘organic’ tag, these are always unnecessarily expensive, so you put the pack of basil down even though the organic ones look a lot fresher.

“Why are you putting them down? They’re a lot fresher than the brand you’re looking at now,” Johnny says before picking up the basil you had discarded.

“Oh, just thought those were a bit too pricey,” you say offhandedly. 

“I’m paying, no worries, you don’t have to fret over these miniscule things when you’re with me,” Johnny says with a comforting pat on your head, god, if only he knows what those words do to you, you think to yourself before willing your emotions to be stable, he can’t pick up the spike in your scent, or he’d think you’re a freak.

“But I’m buying today, remember?” you say reminding Johnny of your promise of thanking him for his generosity of letting you stay in his home.

“You said you’d cook as a form of thank you, not buying the groceries and cook,” Johnny says before he places the pack of basil in the cart, “you don’t have to worry about price tags when you’re with me,” Johnny promises before walking ahead, looking back to see you following him with a huff, not used to walking about with someone with such long legs.

“Johnny? Where’s the blender you used this morning for your breakfast shake?” you ask, looking around the expanse of his large kitchen.

“It’s in the third upper shelf from the left,” he says from the couch, apparently he’s checking his emails despite saying he ended work at 6 not too long ago.

You shout out a quick thank you before you follow his directions, opening the cabinet door, you’re quick to recognise the device, standing on your tippy toes to retrieve the blender, you’re surprised by how heavy it is, and when you felt a slight wobble, you suddenly felt a warmth body pressed up behind you as sturdy hands came up to hold onto the blender supporting your smaller hand.

“Careful, this thing’s heavy at the top too, I don’t know why the cover’s so thick,” Johnny jokes as he pulls away with the blender in hand, immediately setting it up for you to use.

“Thanks, Johnny,” you say, glad that he was there, or you’d be cleaning up broken glass now.

“No problem, let me know if you need anything else from the upper cabinets,” Johnny says, smiling as he ruffles your hair before walking away to let you cook, leaving you with butterflies in your tummy.

“Does it taste good?” you ask after tasting a forkful of pesto pasta, you think it’s okay, maybe a little over for the cheese, but Johnny loves cheese, so you purposely incorporated more cheese.

“Tastes great, you’re really good at this, where did you learn all this from?” Johnny asks with a surprised but satisfied smile on his face, he knows you didn’t learn this from your mother, she was a more eastern food type of person.

“Just picked it up from Youtube shorts, those pasta videos are all over my explore page,” you explain with a bashful smile as you try to keep your emotions in check, you’ll die from embarrassment if he picks up your scent getting sweeter.

“Just from a quick short clip? What a smart girl you are,” Johnny compliments, he couldn’t help it, your mother had always complained about you being dumb and clumsy, always never getting top grades, but here you are, learning a quick recipe from a 30 second clip.

Your breath gets caught at the compliment, fuck, your scent definitely changed, you can feel the fuzzy feeling in your tummy again.

“It’s nothing complicated, really, it’s just a simple recipe, it’s no biggie,” you deflect, not used to being complimented this way.

“No, none of that down playing shit, take the compliment as it is, you watched a short clip of a recipe and you recreated it, that’s an achievement,” Johnny says firmly, but with no ill intent, he genuinely doesn’t want you to put yourself down anymore, he knows your mother had conditioned you to look at yourself in a shitty manner, but he’s going to change that.

You nod, mumbling another quick thank you before you go back to eating, feeling the heat behind your ears still.

Johnny isn’t dumb, he picked up on your spike in scent, and the way you look at him, he just wants to stare back into those pretty eyes of yours when he feels them trained on him.

At first it was tolerable, but as the days go by and the weather gets warmer, he sees you walking the house in nothing but shorts and a tee, and he swears you’re not wearing a bra underneath if he looks a bit longer.

Johnny is now out for a long awaited boys’ night with Yuta and Mark at Yuta’s bachelor pad. 

“I thought the biggest concern would be that you can’t bring back hot omegas to your place, but you actually have a hot omega in your house, and you’re not going to do anything?” Yuta asked in disbelief.

Fuck, Johnny shouldn’t have shown them your socials, now they’re spewing bullshit instead of helping him.

“Dude, that’s his step daughter, it feels so weird,” Mark says with a huge side eye towards Yuta, which was rather common, since Yuta is the alpha of every omega’s nightmare, unless they’re into freaky shit that is.

“Thank you, Mark, finally someone who sees the logic in this situation,” Johnny said, his tone convincing, but not convincing enough to forget about the way your shorts fit around your bubble butt.

“Johnny didn’t even marry that bitch, and I know you’re a beta, Mark, but can’t you pick up how sweet she is just from Johnny’s clothes, look, man, if you’re not gonna make a move to tap that, I’ll gladly-

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Johnny said with a growl.

Yuta holds his hands up defensively, a smug expression on his face.

“No matter how much you lie to yourself, your alpha wants her, and recognises the connection the two of you share, you can't run away from that, and it's not like you can kick her out now that you offered to let her stay long term," Yuta deduced with a tilt of his head, daring Johnny to come up with a logical retort.

But the tallest amongst them goes quiet, mulling over his choices.

"Even if it's not Yuta hyung, some other alpha's going to be interested in her some day, hyung," Mark reminds Johnny, "and would you be able to stand aside and let someone love her instead of you?" 

Johnny's never thought of it that way, in some twisted way, he had always thought you were his little girl, too young to be courted by alphas, but in reality, you're a grown woman now, even if he thinks he's too old for you, other alphas his age aren't going to think that, maybe not even you, you probably see Johnny less of a father figure than what he assumed.

"He's finally using that brain of his," Yuta says on the side to Mark, the two conversing among themselves while they let their friend gather his thoughts.

"How about this," Mark suddenly speaks up, "you could spend some time away from her to clear your mind, if you really miss her during your time away from each other…then you have your answer, dude," Mark suggests, looking at Yuta for affirmation.

"I mean that could work," Yuta says uncertainly, it probably is going to work, although with added risks that he won't be mentioning, he doesn't need Johnny's angry side out with a few drinks in. 

"What am I going to say? Where am I going to stay?" Johnny asks, still doubting that this is a good idea, would you be fine with staying all by yourself? You haven't done that before, he thinks, but on the other hand, your mother was very much an absent parent.

"You could crash at my place, man, what could go wrong? I'll clean up the guest room for you and it'll be just like home," Mark suggests, immediately going to his phone to make a list of things to buy, like toilet paper and booze, he misses having sleepovers with his bro, and this is the perfect opportunity to make up for loss time.

"I'm leaving for a month for a business trip," Johnny tells you in the midst of having dinner together at this Japanese restaurant you had suggested, the fresh prawn tempura doesn't taste as nice anymore, now that he's bringing this up. 

"Oh, that's abrupt, where to?" you ask, hoping you don't look visibly upset, but Johnny could tell from your crestfallen eyes, he could feel his own alpha struggling to take over and comfort you, yeah, he really needs time away from you if his alpha is acting this way.

"Back to Busan, my business partners are debating on opening a headquarters there, just to make things easier on the management and shipping side of things," Johnny lies, he already has a HQ in Busan, but he doesn't oversee it, god forbid he runs into your mother after everything.

"Oh, okay, do you need me to do anything with the house while you're gone other than watering the plants?" you ask, taking a sip of your green tea to swallow down your nerves, what if he sees her again?

"No, just be there to look over the weekly maids and everything would be fine," Johnny says with a sense of finality, for him, not you, because after telling you, there's no backing out, he's going to go through this like the man he is.

Everything was fine until it wasn't, and it started off with an ache in his head, it wasn't extremely painful, but it was consistent enough for him to down an advil every 12 hours.

He'd been drowning himself in work and the gym and brushed it off as a sign of fatigue, but when the headache shows no sign of fading even on a long weekend, he starts to worry, and then Mark drops another bomb on him. 

"Dude, you’re starting to smell different, is your rut starting soon?" 

Johnny freezes up from his position on the couch, the morning news talking about some light earthquake that happened last night, usually he'd be very focused on news like this, but his mind is now blank.

"Dude you alright? That headache you keep talking about, it's probably your rut-

"But it can't be, my rut isn't due for another 2 months," Johnny says in disbelief, quickly checking his calendar, just to double check.

"I don't know, man, but that's how you smelled like when you start your pre rut symptoms, maybe go check it out at the doctor's?" Mark suggests, stealing the bag of chips Johnny opened on the coffee table, happily munching away while his friend quickly books a doctor's appointment.

It's probably nothing, Johnny assures himself, he's been eating well, resting well, it's probably just a flu or something, he brushes off.

"Mr Suh, I fear that there are a few questions I need to ask you in regards to your condition," Doctor Park asks, his face a bit grim, if Johnny's getting some death disease then he's booking a flight to see the aurora lights, stat, there's no way he's going down without doing all the wild shit on his bucket list.

"Am I dying, doc?" Johnny asks, preparing himself for the worst, maybe stage 4 cancer, maybe some incurable shit that's passed down from the family that miraculously skipped his grandparents and parents.

"No, Mr Suh, I'm afraid you had unknowingly imprinted on someone, which is why I'm going to ask you now, are you seeing someone at the moment?" Doctor Park asks.

"No, not at all," Johnny replies, a half truth, since you're on his mind all the time.

"Then are you perhaps interested in someone? And you see that someone quite often?" the doctor asks, sceptical that an alpha this attractive is single, he could hear the nurses gushing about his patient when he walked in, even if he was blind he'd know this young man is considered attractive.

"Well, there is someone I'm somewhat attracted to, but I don't think to the point where I'd unknowingly imprint on them? And what does this have to do with my upcoming rut?" Johnny asks, still in denial that he actually imprinted on you, maybe the doctor just misdiagnosed him. 

"Based on the information you've given me, you're having constant headaches, no appetite, and an upcoming early rut? Those are all symptoms of mate withdrawal, or in your case, potential mate withdrawal," Doctor Park says with a slight judgement in his voice.

"Is this…permanent?" Johnny asks, he's never been scared of things, but right now, he feels like he's a kid on a roller coaster again.

"There's a procedure to remove the imprint, however it'll be very painful, and I suggest you quickly check on the person you imprinted on, they might be having these symptoms as well, however usually the one that imprints feels it first, so you still have some time to figure things out, now excuse me while I go sort of your medication," the doctor says before leaving Johnny in the room alone.

Johnny quickly makes a quick search on where to get imprint removal in the country, just in case, and he curses when he sees the many warnings and symptoms of the removal treatment.

Doctor Park comes back in with a bag of medication, he pulls them out one by one.

"The violet pills are to numb the imprint in general, blue for your headaches, twice a day, green for your appetite loss, and red is to defer your rut if you wish to do so, however I don't suggest you taking too many of these as it worsens the effects of your actual rut when the medication can no longer withstand your rut hormones, take all of these after meals, and get sufficient rest, and please think this through as soon as possible," Doctor Park says before dismissing him for his next patient.

"So… what did the doctor say, man, you don't look too happy, but at least you look like you got more life in your face now," Mark says, gesturing at Johnny's face that is now less pale than when he left this morning.

"Yeah, I took some medicine, that's why, and I also found out that I imprinted on her," Johnny spilled, which earned the biggest and fruitiest gasps that he only hears from his beta friend.

"I'm sorry? Imprinted? Like for real dude? How did that happen?" Mark was in shock, but he was also curious, he's heard of imprints, but they rarely happen, especially with the dating culture nowadays.

"Not sure, the only good news is that I'm the one that imprinted on her, so I still have some time to think this through," Johnny says, just a heads up to Mark that he won't be rushing to pack his bags and move out of his home.

"Wouldn't she be affected also? And, what's there to think through? You wanna get it removed? That shit stings like a bitch from what I heard, even if you're willing to remove the imprint, there's no telling she would, and what if she falls sick while you're here-

"Stop, I just need a few more days, then I'll be out of your hair," Johnny says dismissively, heading back to his room for some peace of mind.

"Should we update Yuta on this?" 

"Suit yourself, I won't change my mind regardless," Johnny says before shutting his door, ready for a long night's sleep.

Johnny knows you're fine, he's been staying up to date with you by asking you to water his plants everyday, today he even went as far as asking about your personal health, and true to the doctor's words, you haven't been feeling any withdrawal symptoms yet, and because of this, Johnny’s glad he bit the bullet and went for the check up early.

Anxious, that's what Johnny felt the last few days, the dismissive front he had masked on days ago now crumbling as he tossed and turned in his bed.

Johnny had felt tired after work today, which was odd, because he had purposely made himself a coffee before he left work to go to his scheduled workout at the gym, however, he had felt drained once he left the parking bay, which is why he ate a quick dinner of cup noodles and slept.

He had slept peacefully the first two hours, but after he woke up to go to the bathroom, sleep just couldn't seem to come back to him. 

The sleep leaves Johnny as the prickling in his head grows, but he's taken his pills, why is he still reacting to the withdrawal symptoms?

Then he feels it, that sinking feeling in his stomach, he immediately hops out of bed, grabbing his wallet and car keys before dashing out of the door, a confused Mark who was watching a basketball game jolts at the harsh opening of his bedroom door.

"What's the problem, man? It's midnight, where are you going?" Mark asks, but nonetheless, he turns off the telly, following behind Johnny, he's never seen Johnny this anxious, he's not gonna leave him be at a time like this.

"I think something happened at home, but I don't know what, I need to check up on her," Johnny replies as he frantically watches the panel counting down to the car park levels.

"I'll go with you, it's late and if you need help, I'll be there," Mark offers, not questioning how true Johnny's hunch is.

It was quiet when he stepped into his home, but that wasn't out of the ordinary for you, you're not the type to stay up watching TV, but the weird thing is that there wasn't a single light on in the living area, you'd always leave a light on at night. 

Then Johnny noticed how faint your scent was, you didn't tell him you'd be staying anywhere else tonight, but it smells like you haven't been here for half a day at least.

Johnny quickly traces your scent to your room, he opens the door, and the sight of you lying on the desk with your head down sends a chill down his spine, yes you might have fallen asleep, but you've told him multiple times that you can only sleep on a bed.

So he tries to shake you awake, but to no avail.

Mark was calling the ambulance before Johnny even asked him to, an unconscious omega is nothing to joke about.

Then everything was a blur, Mark drove Johnny's car while he sat in the ambulance with you, holding onto your hand as the medics asked him basic questions.

Johnny met up with Mark in the emergency area where he was ushered beyond the curtains due to your privacy.

"What did the doctor say?" 

"Her life isn't in any danger, but they need to run more tests to confirm that it is imprint withdrawal symptoms," Johnny says, still focused on where you were wheeled in.

Then the doctor comes out, a stoic expression on his face.

"As you had predicted, Mr Suh, she is indeed going through withdrawal symptoms, so she's going to be hooked onto some drips and be given some medicine, nothing to worry about, however, please step up as a mate and actually be there for her," the doctor says with a slight edge to his tone.

"Yes, doctor," Johnny said, scratching the back of his head, embarrassed that as a man in his thirties is still struggling with professing his feelings.

Johnny watches your pale face, he did this, he’s to blame.

“Mr Suh, I’m sorry, but visiting hours are going to end soon,” the doctor informs.

“I wish to stay overnight to look after her,” Johnny says, as he texts Mark to find your essentials, thick sweaters and sweatpants, any skincare you have laying around.

“My apologies, Mr Suh, but you’re only eligible to sleepover if you book the VIP room where a proper bed is prepared for you, it’s company policy,” of course they got this greedy policy.

“Just charge it on my tab, get her the VIP room, immediately,” Johnny says, standing up from the chair he’d thought he’d be hunched over sleeping in.

“Gladly, Mr Suh, Nurse Park, please add Mr Suh into the overnight list and fetch your team to have the patient shifted.”

Johnny sighs as he follows you, keeping a keen eye when the team of nurses wheel you to your new room.

Marks drop by your things and he gets to work, cleaning your face with a towel and using the products that he recognises its uses of, he’s not a pro, but he does have a skincare routine himself too. Then, he tucks you in bed, pulling the blanket as high as your chin, knowing that you get cold easily.

Then Johnny slips off into slumber on the bed next to yours, fatigue consuming him after the stressful hour he had, but most importantly, sleep came to him because you’re finally in his presence again.

The first thing that you saw was how obnoxiously white the ceiling was, you’re quite fucking sure you had told Johnny to help you colour the ceiling black ages ago when you first moved in, wait, what happened to the silk sheets Johnny had splurged on you? Why are the sheets so rough against your skin?

You jolted up when you felt the tug of something connected to your arm, your eyes going as wide as saucers when you see that you’re currently in a hospital room, at first you thought you were kidnapped for your organs or whatever, until your nose picked up on the familiar sweet scent of cinnamon, you averted your gaze to the bed beside yours, seeing the view of Johnny’s back. 

You carefully walked to him, cursing silently at the IV drip attached to you.

“Johnny,” you called to him, shaking him slightly, his contracting muscles at his shoulders alerting you that he’s waking up.

“Sweetheart? Why are you up? Let me get the doctor,” Johnny says urgently, scrambling up from bed.

“Wait, Johnny, why am I in the hospital? How did I end up here?” you ask, seeking answers in those panic stricken honey brown eyes that usually exude confidence. 

“I…,” Johnny looks so lost at words at that moment, his entire confident businessman front is nowhere to be seen, he shakes his head, seemingly trying to get his composure together.

“It’s okay, you can take your time,” you reassure, sitting down beside him on the squeaky bed, an encouraging smile on your lips.

“I imprinted on you and didn’t know what to do, so I lied about going on a business trip to sort out my thoughts, I didn’t know you’d be affected by the withdrawal symptoms so quickly, I shouldn’t have trusted the doctor’s prediction, I should’ve consulted you, I’m so sorry, sweetheart, I put your life in danger even though I promised you I’d do anything to protect you,” Johnny confesses, his shoulders sagging after he’s spilled the entire story, his chest heaving as he struggles not to let his tears fall, he had put you in danger, he doesn’t deserve to be your alpha, he should’ve signed up for the imprint removal as soon as possible back then.

“Hey, Johnny, it’s alright, we all need time to think things through, I’m alive, I might’ve done the same in your footsteps, so don’t beat yourself over it,” you say, mind drifting to all the times you had felt very tired or had zero appetite for no particular reason, glad that you finally found the source of all your problems, all because of this cute alpha in front of you whose scent is so sour, 

“If it makes you feel any better, I had the ulterior motive of wanting us to become something more too, when you were away, I thought you’d left me alone for good, so please don't even think about removing our imprint, please,” you plead, you sound a bit pathetic, if you’re honest,  begging for a man to stay, but you don’t want his heart constantly out the door while his body hangs around, you went through that with your mother, you don’t want to go through that with Johnny as well, and you think Johnny understands what you mean too, because he releases calming pheromones, pulling you into his embrace.

“I’m not going anywhere you don’t want me to be, sweetheart, never,” Johnny promises you. 

You bury yourself impossibly closer, but a crackling sound in his pocket pulls you out of your moment with Johnny.

“What’s that?” you ask, looking at Johnny for answers, watching him dig through his pocket, a packet of medicine is brought out. 

“I had to take them while I was away from you, to deal with the side effects of imprint withdrawal from you,” Johnny explains.

“You won’t be needing them anymore then,” you say, ready to go home with your alpha.

Your relationship with Johnny has progressed smoothly, albeit rather slow, what you appreciate though, is that Johnny is a traditional man, going through the process of courting you, buying you flowers whenever he needs to leave for the office, cooking you food, buying you gifts once in a while, from simple things like a box of macarons to expensive jewellery.

What you didn’t expect was to find another package of medicine, when you decided to put his coat into the dryer, a packet of red pills that you recognised from a month ago.

“Johnny!” you called out to the alpha sitting on the couch, the evening news on.

“Why are you still taking these?” you ask, holding up the packet of visible red pills in your hand.

Conflict draws upon Johnny’s face, a frown between the creases of his brows.

“I didn’t want to let you know, but my rut is coming soon, so I’ve been delaying it as long as I can, I didn’t know if you’d like to, or if you’re ready for it, I’m actually prepared to spend it alone, I just didn’t know how to tell you-

“I’d love to spend your rut with you, so you won’t be needing these anymore,” you say, dumping the pills into a nearby trash bin,

“No! Wait-

“Taking suppressants are bad for you, Johnny-

“But you might not be ready, have you ever spent a rut with an alpha?” Johnny asks, but his wolf side is gnawing at his chest at the thought of its omega being with another alpha.

“I haven’t, but my heat is approaching too, and I don’t wish to spend it locked in my room anymore,” you cringe thinking about how your mother had warned you when you first presented that you should never ever sleep with anyone until you’re legally binded to one another, and that you should just suffer through your heats like a ‘righteous’ omega.

“Your heat is approaching soon too? Do you want to spend it at home or would you want us to go to heat hotels?” Johnny asks, but all you could focus on was the wording ‘us’. 

“At home would be great, I want to nest a bit longer after my heat breaks,” you explain.

“Okay, we’ll go through this together,” your alpha reassures you.

The sexual tension between the two of you was so thick that a knife would've sliced through it, your approaching heat meant that your body temperature was rising steadily, that meant you had switched out your comfy sweat sets for cropped tees and cute house shorts, and the new expanse of exposed skin has Johnny struggling to concentrate on his work whenever he takes his work to the living room for a change of environment.

“Should he engage with you before your heat hits or should he wait and continue earning your validation? 

You probably don’t have any extreme standards towards Johnny, but he has expectations for himself, like just the other day, he took you to a Japanese omakase, it was expensive, but your fascination towards the chef’s skill was worth every penny.

Other than that, he’s bought you flowers almost everyday, Mark had called him old schooled, courting you like what an alpha would do back in the 70s.

Johnny doesn’t really see this as a form of courting, he’s only giving you what you weren’t allowed to access in life, she was a selfish woman, she’d spent good money on a car before spending money on your needs. He recalls how  you used to eat more on days where Johnny took both you and your mother out for dates, when he had asked you back then when your mother had walked away to the loo, that you don’t usually get to eat food this good, or this plenty when it was only the two of you. 

Johnny curses to himself when he thinks of it, he should’ve realised this sooner, how your mother was treating you with such blatant dislike, he thought your relationship was rocky, he hadn’t known or expected that you were abused and neglected by her all along.

“What’s with the frown on your face, love?” you ask when you came round after fetching yourself a glass of water, taking a seat next to the warm alpha, you’re rather warm these days, which is why you’ve been layering less, so that you could still cuddle Johnny comfortably. 

“Nothing, was wondering where you were at,” Johnny says, he doesn’t want to bring it up, you always have melancholy swimming in your eyes whenever he mentions your excuse of a mother, it’s better to not mention the past now that you’re having a good day.

“Corny alpha,” you tease, snuggling to his side, purring when his scent begins to envelope the two of you, you had specifically  told Johnny that the scent of cinnamon calms you down, that you love smelling like him, consenting yourself to be scented by him at any opportunity. 

“It’s work, isn’t it? Let’s take a break, how about a nap?” you suggest with an excited smile, you love being cuddled to sleep, his scent is a remedy for your insomnia.

“You should’ve become a negotiator,” Johnny says as he lifts you up in his arms, earning a squeal from you. 

“I could’ve walked myself, you know,” you say breathlessly in between giggles, being carried by Johnny always makes you giddy, like you were a child all over again.

“What’s the fun in that?” Johnny retorts as he lays you down gently on his bed, and instantly his arms come circling your waist once more, Johnny can’t describe it, but whenever he pulls you into his embrace, his alpha feels like it’s coming home, having memorised your every touch, and when your smile falls a little, his alpha is clawing at his chest to prod why.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Johnny asks, his hand reaching up to cradle your cheek.

“Can I ask you something Johnny?” that question worries Johnny, but he nods regardless, he promised to himself he’d face whatever problems the two of you may come across.

“What did you see in her back then? And what do you see in me? I don’t look anything like her,” you add on, choosing to be honest with him with your insecurities, your physical features have always taken after your father, or your male producer, since that’s all he’s done for you.

Johnny stills, he didn’t expect you to ask anything like that, and he sighs, knowing that he’d have to come clean to you sooner or later.

“I was attracted to the faint scent of pears mixed with roses when I first bumped into your mother, it was so calming to me, and at that time I guess I was young, and I wanted someone who was serious with me I guess, and maybe partly because it was kinda cool, bragging to my friends that I bagged myself a milf, it was just lots of bad decisions, really, especially when I realised that the scent I found comforting didn’t even belong to the person I was seeing, and I never thought you looked like your mother, she is her own beauty, and you are your own,” Johnny confesses and reassures, unknowingly, he’s breathing in your scent now, to calm his nerves.

“All of us make mistakes, Johnny, I’m just glad you don’t see me as an extension of her, that worried me the most to be honest,” you say truthfully, “that was my biggest worry.”

“You have nothing to worry about, if you do, that means I’m fucking something up,” Johnny jokes, but with a full sense of seriousness to it, and he looks into your eyes, trying his best to convey the message that this is serious, that you’re everything to him. 

“Stop looking at me like that, go to sleep, you need it,” you say, laying your head on Johnny’s pillow and his shoulder, the support your neck needed after a day of editing videos.

“I think you needed this nap more than me,” Johnny notes with a teasing tone, but nonetheless, does as you’re told, closing his eyes to drift off to peaceful slumber with you.

When Johnny wakes up, he feels your body next to his, impossibly close, and also alarmingly hot, he jerks awake, seeing your forehead beaded with sweat, immediately he knew your heat has approached, or is coming soon, he could also feel his rut arriving, having triggered by your heat, he concludes when he feels the prickly feeling he gets at the back of his neck, a sign of his upcoming rut.

Should he wake you up? You never enjoy being woken up for no reason, but he could smell your scent sweeten, meaning that you’re probably getting wet by whatever dream you’re having.

Johnny made up his mind to wake you up at half past six, then you’d at least have two hours of sleep, for now, he’s going to make some porridge in his rice cooker, so you’d have some light food to have if your heat is put on a pause, Johnny’s never been so glad for having a stocked up fridge more than now, he has to move quick, he doesn’t want you, or more so, your omega in distress if you find him gone from the bed.

Johnny finishes up the last step of his mother’s old recipe before he dashes back into his room, you were still sleeping, rolling around in the pile of clothes Johnny had placed surrounding you, a makeshift nest ro help you sleep better, and it worked, seeing how you’re sweating a bit less, your face a bit less tensed.

Johnny looks at the time on the clock, you’ve been sleeping for almost three hours now, it’s time to wake you up if he wants to make it on time for dinner to be done.

“Hey, baby, time to wake up, you’ve been sleeping for a long time amd, don’t panic, but I think your heat is here, do you still want me around? If not I could probably look for a heat hotel for myself,” Johnny reassures, even though you’ve told him many times that you’re perfectly fine with spending your heat and rut together.

“I wouldn’t want to spend it any other way, Johnny,” you say with utmost confidence, knowing that if you didn’t Johnny’s going to overthink himself not to.

“Okay,” Johnny replied with a shaky breath, he’s never been nervous to sleep with an omega, but this is you, the person that matters most in his life, it’s expected of him to be on his nerves.

Although without mark, you could feel how nervous Johnny is through his scent, the sweet cinnamon having a twinge of sour, any other alpha would’ve lost control at this point, but Johnny hasn’t even complained about his awful blue balls even once, and is instead contributing to his own pain, and so you decide to help him out, or you’d be lying in your own puddle of arousal and still you wouldn’t have came even once.

“Tell me what you want to do with me,” you suggest before you seal your lips with his, in hopes that it’d motivate him to be more expressive with you, that if you can’t lead Johnny himself to make a move on you, that Johnny’s alpha would.

Instantly, Johnny’s hands held onto your hips possessively, his face nuzzles into your neck, his tongue flicking dangerously at the spot which might bind you closer than the imprint, but you expose your neck still, your omega doing the thinking for you in this haze of lust your body is driven to.

When he brushes his teeth against your sliver of neck, you instantly feel a new flood of arousal, your scent now heavily dousing the air Johnny breathes in.

Johnny curses, and you know why, you could feel his large cock twitching in his pants, the tip grinding against your puffy clit through the many layers of clothing, the rough material encouraging you to swivel your hips faster, your mind in a frenzy to seek more pleasure, but Johnny ceases all your movements with his strong hands.

“You asked me what I wanted to do with you,” Johnny says before his hands pry your clothed cheeks apart, dropping his head to your shoulder before he inhales deeply, almost growling at the sweet spike of your scent, “I want a taste, sweetheart, could you give me that?” Johnny asks after pulling away, his eyes hooded, a red hue painted on his honey brown eyes. 

“Okay-y,” you say shakily, preparing to hop off of your alpha, but Johnny ceases your movements once more, causing you to whine, your omega disliking the fact that you’re getting denied from your sweet pleasure.

“I want you to ride my face, baby,” Johnny demands, pushing you upwards his body, getting you to move as you quickly nod your head, one of your oldest fantasies of Johnny coming true right now.

Johnny helps you remove your pants and underwear, his eyes zoning in on your slicked up pussy.

“Beautiful, so fucking pretty, and all mine,” Johnny admires aloud before he jerks your body downwards, attaching his tongue to your cunt, lapping away like some mutt, his tongue greedily catches all your sweet juices before he thrusts his tongue inside your core, groaning at the way your warm velvet walls cocoon around his tongue, his mind reeling at the thought of having his cock deep inside you, how tight you’d feel around him.

Johnny’s pace is too fast, he has you grabbing the headboard, toes clenched as you whimper at the feeling of his flexible tongue and sharp nose digging at your clit when he started moving your hips for you, you’re most certainly fucking his face now, and when you thought things couldn’t feel any better, Johnny exchanges his tongue with three of his fingers and he traps your clit in between his lips, sucking hard, he had feared his jaw would really go slack if he keeps up with the strenuous routine for too long.

However, the added thickness and length quickly has you screaming, the tips of his fingers finally reaching your sensitive spot, and so you fall apart, screaming.

“Fuck, so good, daddy,” you say as you weakly grind against Johnny’s face, not registering the fact that the man under you had frozen up, but he lets you continue nonetheless, savouring your sweet release on his taste buds.

When you’re finally done riding out your high, Johnny gently flips you to his spot, now he’s hovering over you, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I didn’t expect you to spill that dirty little secret to daddy this soon, my sweetheart,” Johnny says as he brushes your hair out of your face, admiring your flushed face.

Your heart drops at Johnny’s words, cursing at your lack of clarity whilst you're entrapped in this sex crazed heat.

“Don’t be so worried baby, you don’t need to hide yourself from daddy,” Johnny reassures before he kisses you softly, tasting yourself on his tongue.

With Johnny’s reassurance, you uncover yourself and start roaming your hands up his shirt to have a touch of Johnny’s chiselled body, he deduces that he can wait no longer, quickly jerking off his pants, his large cock hung in between his strong thighs, Johnny jerks off his cock with his hands as he admires your bare body, he feels himself battling with his wolf side, the desire to fuck, breed, and claim nagging his mind.

“You can still back out, sweetheart, go while my rut hasn’t entirely consumed me,” Johnny reminds you.

“No, please, I need this, I need you, daddy,” you say as you spread your legs, sitting up to reach for Johnny’s cock, but before you could even touch him, Johnny gently pushes you down the bed with one hand, the other gripping his dick in his hands, guiding himself to your entrance.

Johnny intertwines his hand with yours, hands locked next to your head as you feel his gaze burning into yours, slowly, you feel him breaching your ring of muscle, your walls opening up bit by bit as he fills you up slowly.

A whimper escapes you as you feel him surely filling you up to the brim.

“I’m sorry, baby, just a little bit more, you’re more than halfway in, baby, you’re doing a good job for me,” Johnny coos, his thumb brushing against your knuckles, an action he does whenever he picks up your anxiety spike in your scent.

When you’ve swallowed his length whole, Johnny lets you adjust to his size, distracting you by kissing you passionately, hoping that his lips would suffice as a distraction from the burn you’re feeling down there, and slowly, the burning feeling turns into slow but steady twinges of pleasure, and the fullness is driving your omega crazy, and now she’s craving for a big fat knot.

“You can move now, daddy,” you say, in a reassuring tone, your hand squeezing Johnny’s.

Johnny nods, before he pulls his hand away, choosing to hold your hips for better control, he thrusts shallowly, needing to gauge your reaction before he really starts, and the reaction is immediate, the friction of your walls against his bare cock is too good, moaning at the slight movement.

Johnny takes this as a positive sign, his alpha crooning, he pulls out most of his length, leaving the tip in before he thrusts back into you in one stroke, groaning at the way you clench around him. 

“Fuck, baby, you feel so tight, so wet,” Johnny mumbles, more to himself since you’re getting lost by how Johnny almost immediately locates your sweet spot again, a whine leaving you as your toes clench and your nails drag down his back, and the pain fuels Johnny, knowing that he could drive you mad just from his dick alone.

“Alpha, please…”

Johnny’s cock twitches at hearing you beg, he doesn’t even need to dick train you, your daddy issues alone have moulded you into his perfect princess.

“Please what, sweetheart? You need to be specific,” Johnny demands, a hand coming to rub circles on your clit, he knows you’re very wet by now, but he wants you to unclench yourself, it’s not going to be pleasurable if you’re constantly tense.

“I…” you stutter, how can you voice the fact that you want him to move because you’re insanely horny? But the encouraging smile and constant calming pheromones in the air has you caving in, and maybe your omega is getting frustrated too.

“Want you to move faster, please daddy,” you say in a seductive, yet shy whisper, before you add on something absolutely unfiltered from your omega’s mind, “make your omega feel good.”

Johnny lets out an appreciative growl, ready to accept the challenge after hearing you call yourself his.

Johnny ploughs his cock inside you at a rapid pace, his hands grabbing, digging into your ass cheeks as he most literally, rocks your world.

You could feel yourself slipping away from sanity, choked moans leaving your parted lips as Johnny rearranges your guts, hooking one of your legs around his waist so that he could thrust deeper inside you, upholding your request of being filled with his cum.

A loud whine escapes you as you let yourself be manhandled, anything is fine by you as long as you could feel this overwhelming amount of pleasure going through your body.  

You hold onto Johnny’s tricep as you feel yourself being rushed into another high.

“Daddy!” you gasp out once the dam of pleasure finally breaks, figuratively and literally, because the next thing you could register in your heat crazed haze is that your pelvis and Johnny’s luscious looking thighs are drenched with your release.

Your eyes widen comically as you take in the fact that you just squirted, the apology on the tip of your tongue.

However, Johnny beats you to it, voicing his positive thoughts over it.

“Fuck, baby, can’t believe you squirted just like that, your tight little hole couldn’t handle daddy’s big cock, am I right?” Johnny asks, his tone so gentle, yet his words so filthy, and that has your heart doing somersaults and your pussy clenching enthusiastically. 

Then your heart drops, the love fest interrupts your train of thoughts, Johnny hasn’t cum yet.

“Daddy, you haven’t cum,” you said, immediately clenching onto the girth inside you, but Johnny grips your hips to halt you.

“You must be tired, let your body rest before your heat consumes you again,” Johnny suggests, prepared to pull out of you.

“No! Please, daddy, I need your cum, your knot, or I’d feel empty…daddy,” the last part came out as a whisper, still not being used to voicing out your carnal desires even though it’s perfectly normal, especially during one’s heat.

Johnny gives you a soft smile, a hand caressing your face before he kisses you gently on the lips.

“Present yourself,” your alpha says to you before he pulls himself out, kneeling before your beautiful body, choosing to let you make the move.

And so you did, slowly lifting yourself, turning around and presenting yourself, on your knees with your ass arched up, your pussy glistening even under the minimal lighting in the room. 

Johnny curses under his breath before he quickly seathes himself back inside you, groaning at the welcoming walls that he once again sank into.

“Don’t hold back, alpha, take what you need,” you say, twisting your neck to get a glimpse at the beautiful man you’re able to call yours.

Johnny curses under his breath before he resumes the punishing pace he had going on before you reached your high. You’re really starting to think you’re a masochist, the way you enjoy the slight burn from the overstimulation has all the signs showing that you can no longer deny.

“Is my baby a pain slut? Whining that it hurts, but I can still feel your pussy getting wetter for me,” Johnny teases as he slows down his thrusts, putting more emphasis on fucking you deeper, now that you’ve came.

All you could do was nod between sniffles, struggling to agree with your alpha verbally, knowing that most men find that sexy, but Johnny coos, he knows what you want to convey, and the fact that you couldn’t even speak your mind whilst he fucks you just drives his confidence through the roof.

Before he knows it, Johnny could feel his cock bulging up, his knot forming, groaning at the feeling of your tight walls wrapped around him so closely, and his knot hasn’t even finished swelling up.

Johnny whispers sweet encouragements in your ears as you whimper at the foreign feeling of being knotted.

Soon after, his knot starts to deflate, spurts of cum painting your walls white as he calls your name sweetly, almost moaning. 

And slowly, the stream comes to a stop, you were in and out of it during the time of you and Johnny being locked together, dozing off as Johnny has his arms wrap around your body, scenting you even though you are most definitely drenched in his scent from the constant physical attachment, but he understands you well enough that you need this on an emotional level.

“You can still leave if you don’t want to spend my rut with me, I can feel it starting soon, maybe give or take a few hours,” Johnny reminds you, giving you one last chance to leave if you decide to not spend a rut with him yet, which is respectable, the two of you haven’t been dating that long, most people at least wait a year of dating before spending such a vulnerable time together.

“I’m sure, Johnny,” you reassured him as you brush the flyaways from his handsome face.

“Then let’s get some food before we fuck like bunnies again,” Johnny jokes before he whisks you away to the direction of his kitchen, tummy rumbling now that you caught whiff of the scent of delicious food, you just hope your alpha is able to keep his hands to himself long enough after you guy finish washing the dishes.

You smile to yourself at the realisation, that even with all the uncertainty that started off between the two of you, the situation with your mother and how Johnny used to keep you at arm’s length, in the end, you win.

[purplealmonds]

Observations about Mononoke Karakasa characters & relationships based on costuming & color palettes

Let's guess who these girls' parents are and see where this rabbit hole takes us!

Analysis below the cut! This isn't spoilers as much as it is just going over publicly available information with a fine tooth comb but proceed with caution. Buckle in, this is gonna be a long one!

Based on the color palette of their outfits, these two girls featured in the second trailer at the 0:17 timestamp are the twin daughters of Hokuto Mizorogi (溝呂木北斗) as indicated on his bio on the official website.

Given Mizorogi's status as priest of the "Omizu-sama" faith, it's entirely possibly he's given special privileges within the ooku to father a child.

According to Japanese geisha culture, their half-painted lips indicate that they are children. They partially shaved their heads is reminiscent of a nun's makes sense given their religious parentage. Two context clues combined, I believe they are priestesses-in-training - a position which is higher than even that of the most favored concubines.

Supporting this theory, these twins have a very high position of power in the Ooku despite their youth, as seen by them being at the front of the procession featured in the teaser trailer at the 0:07 timestamp. They also have uniquely colored umbrellas:

As an aside – given how most of the spiral-masked women are visually identical, uniquely colored outfits are a visual shorthand for status (or narrative significance) in the ooku.

And I believe they are the gatekeepers for the, uhhhh, how do I put this delicately? The shogun's baby-making room? Take this with a grain of salt though; I could only see a sliver of the room they were opening in the first screenshot. The colors seem fairly similar though!

But also consider: this babymaking room has a lot of eye motifs, which is reflected in the pit seen in the ceremonial area where I presume Mizorogi presumably performs his religious services:

The third trailer introduces the theme of discarding essential parts of yourself. There is a shot of the comb falling into a pool of water in an unknown location:

Paired with the visual of the comb lying amongst discarded valuables in the water in the second trailer, I'm going to hazard a guess this is a common "ritual" of sorts:

I'm willing to bet Mizorogi enforces this "identity discarding" ceremony on behalf of the shogun. It says in his character bio he's a strong believer of "Omizu-sama". Did he discard his role as a father to step into the role as a the priest?

Their mother may be Kitagawa (北川), a high ranking maid within the Ooku.

The twins' hair and eye colors look similar enough, but there's more meat to this theory. Kitagawa seems to be a narratively important character based on how heavily she's featured in the trailers in increasingly angsty/mysterious ways:

Perhaps Kitagawa "gave away" her motherhood to the waters, which has religious baptism connotations. This hypothetical scenario feels rife with mononoke-formation potential.

Furthermore, from costume design standpoint, she also shares the blue and teal colors featured in Mizorogi's outfit.

As for her purple accents, I believe it is a color reserved for the higher-ranking women of the ooku.

I have a theory that the darker a color is, the higher the status is. Consider:

Asa (Left), who is a new maid but has a lot of potential for upwards mobility.

Tokita Fuki (時田フキ) (Center)), a lowly commoner who caught the attention of the shogun. Because she's a commoner, the purple is faded despite her high status, perhaps representing that it will disappear once she loses the shogun's favor. But because the rose pattern is almost a one-to-one match to that of Mizorogi's, perhaps she is strongly favored by this man as well.

Awashima (Right), the subordinate of Utayama, who is falling out of favor as Asa rises in prominence. There are still pops of dark purple, but a washed out lavendar permeates her palette.

Both Tokita and Awashima also have highly saturated yellow/yellow-greens, which could represent potential danger of their power disappearing due to outside influences.

As for the deeper purple...

Otomo Botan (大友ボタン) (Right) - a lady in waiting and daughter of a high-ranking senior councilor. Note that she also has pale purple in her palette because her high status was not earned. Because she borrows power from influences outside of the ooku, the black accents are represent that she has more power than even Utayama, the most powerful woman within the ooku.

Utayama (歌山) (Left) - the woman with the highest position of the Ooku,  "Odoshiyoroshi". She is also prominently garbed in red and white, which is a color seen in the shogun and a little bit of Mizorogi's outfit:

Lighter shades of red (i.e. pink) also seem to indicate men of lower status that still have some position of power, like these guards:

Note that Kame (カメ) (Left) and Mugiya (麦谷) (Right) also possess these "masculine" colors which may indicate that they have more forceful personalities compared to other women within the ooku:

Their respective outfits also have analogous shades close to the blues prominent in Mizorogi's outfit. Assuming blue has religious connotations (akin to Virgin Mary), perhaps they are also strongly faithful to whoever this "Omizu-sama" entity is.

Meanwhile, Asa also wears pink, but does not feature any blue in her outfit. I think may represent her lack of faith. She does seem like a more levelheaded individual not easily swept away by more dazzling aspects of mysticism.

This is the look of a woman who not only has a braincell or two, but has it on her person at all times.

Now let's look at our main protagonists!

Kusu features red and purple color accents in his outfit, which makese sense for his gender ambiguous presentation. You could say that the other colors featured in his outfit represent how the influences he collects by interacting with humans. Black is also featured heavily as the canvas for these colors. As mentioned earlier, this represents influences outside of the ooku.

In contrast, Shingi while sports both the masculine red/white and feminine purple colors of power, the latter definitely eclipses the former which matches his masculine presentation. His outfit also has black, but because his influence in the world comes in bursts during exorcisms, it is featured less prominently than Kusu. His disheveled look may represent his discarding of these superficial societal norms. His power - symbolized by red - need not be worn. It is already tattooed onto his skin - literally.

The only other characters that have red tattooed onto their skin are the twins from the beginning of this post. Come to think of it, their partially shaved look may also be a nod to the shogun's power - indicating that their very existence is divinely approved by him. So we come full circle!

So, yeah! Although these twins don't have an official bio, there's a lot to learn about them and others from extrapolation and inference alone!

In summary:

Red/White = Masculine/Divine power

Blue = Religious power

Purple = feminine power

Yellow = danger of power loss

Light colors = weak influence

Dark colors = stronger influence

Thank you for coming with me on this long diatribe!

[doiefy]

nct 127 as cursed college profs

very partially based on stupid shit i've had the pleasure and misfortune of seeing in my own classes. happy finals season girlies </3 i rise from my casket of inactivity to bring you the shit post i wrote on the subway on the way to an exam. whose class do you think you'd survive?

cw: cynical college humour because i'm coping, adult humour

taeil: not even that old, but barely knows how to use technology. spends the first 15 minutes of lectures trying to figure out zoom, then the rest of the time poorly explaining quantum mechanics from a textbook written 20 years ago. trips down the stairs two days into the semester and goes on medical leave, only to be spotted on vacation a week later. no one even gives him shit for it.

johnny: originally the cool, chill prof who occasionally went out for drinks with his classes, until he realized he was cool and tried to get even more hip with the kids. now he uses bad memes in his slides and films tiktoks in his lab. the number of students who ask to get drinks with him significantly boosts his ego, but no one tells him they’re doing it just to cross “drinking with a prof” off the frosh bingo card.

taeyong: the sweetest, loveliest, kindest soul you will ever meet—except he’s only taught twice in his life, just got put in as a replacement for a prof who tripped down the stairs, and gives you the most god-awful final exam known to man. he’s also stressed out (on your behalf) at any given moment, to the point where he just passes everyone with an 80 and calls it a day.

yuta: the hip, fashionable prof who only serves looks and random commentaries on society in the middle of his lectures. undergrads fight to the death to join his research group, but the ones who make it eventually realize he spends most of his time partying with the department’s money. yet still, groundbreaking work comes out of his lab every year…

doyoung: retired from research a few years ago to teach full time, but not a single person knows why. he may offer the clearest, live-saving explanations in his lectures—but he constantly looks like he wants to go home and will decimate your entire existence with a single look if you ask anything about the syllabus two weeks into the semester.

jaehyun: the hot single prof. every single freshman girlie has a sickening, concerning, fanfic-esque crush on him. some go as far as nearly failing his class and then booking office hours with him before finals, only to find out that he’s been using Doyoung’s teaching material for years, without credit. he is very much horrendous at teaching on his own. and very much gay.

jungwoo: wanted to go into early childhood education, somehow got coerced into doing his masters, then his phd, then post doc, then— still fulfills his dreams by treating his students like kindergarteners. this includes gentle parenting of frat boys who won’t shut the fuck up during class, handing out healthy vegan treats, and encouraging “mindful moments” while you write the hardest exam he has ever administered.

mark: refuses to teach because he doesn’t think any of the kids will take him seriously, is forced to anyways by the department. as a prodigy so fucking removed from what it’s like to be stupid, he ends all his quantum lectures with “this is pretty straightforward,” and books it back to his lab on an electric skateboard. yes he built it himself. no he won't let you try and ride it.

haechan: shares an office with mark and spends most of his free time figuring out which organic compounds he can mix together to perfectly recreate the texture and smell of cum. if he doesn’t show up to class, it’s because he’s terrorizing pigeons on the street for science. shows gruesome videos of explosions and chemical fires for a chemical safety lecture. has had the fire alarm pulled on him at least twice.

[altocat]

I have a question.

I think Genesis' parents were one of the best people in the game, they were rich people who decided to adopt a victim of child experimentation and falsified reports to shield Genesis from having ShinRa's interest, thus risking their lives. Also, Angeal said he didn't steal from them, not because he was afraid of them punishing them, but simply because he was a friend with their son. As far as I understand, all canon info about them is pointing to them being amazing people, though it's possible I missed something.

Why do you think people write/hc them as shitty people who deserve to die? What canon info says they're bad?

You often say Sephiroth is a horrible monster with absolutely no hope for redemption for killing people in Nibelheim, which is true.

Why do you think Genesis is a cute baby boy for killing everyone in Banora, including his parents, who earned his redemption with his virtuous acts? Were people in Banora all monsters?

Sorry if it's a weird question, but I keep wondering about it and curiosity got the best of me. Genesis and Sephiroth killed people when they were blind with their desire for revenge, but Sephiroth didn't kill his family. What makes it a redeeming act for Genesis?

It's very likely that Genesis' parents were fully aware of the experiments and were in on it the entire time. Genesis hints as much when he claims that they betrayed him, much in the way of how Shinra betrayed him. Additionally, they did not lie on behalf of their son WILLINGLY, only because Genesis threatened them. They probably would have readily given him up to Shinra, despite the fact that he's their son.

Add to this the very odd fact that Genesis keeps a collection of his childhood accomplishments OUTSIDE of his old home, as well as the fact that Hollander, Hojo, and Gillian were ALL in the know about the experiments, it's very, very likely that Genesis always felt disconnected from his parents and that they were very much in league with his abusers. If it happened with Angeal, then there's no way Genesis' parents didn't know. And I highly doubt they took him in out of the kindness of their hearts considering that he just enlisted in SOLDIER the second he came of age. Likely he was being groomed since childhood into joining Shinra's ranks.

I think that Genesis probably had a very good reason to be angry. And to feel betrayed by his parents. I'm sure there are plenty of people who can add extra details to this to polish up what I'm trying to say, but Genesis is just as much of a victim as both Angeal and Sephiroth. He was still being integrated into Shinra and there was no way they were ever going to let one of the top specimens of Project G live a normal life. Angeal's family was not rich because Gillian refused to let Shinra/Hollander compensate them. Who's to say that Genesis' parents weren't rich partially because they were high status allies to Shinra? Why else are they in Shinra's contact list?

And another thing to note:

When Genesis kills his parents (offscreen), he is suffering from the effects of the Degradation Process. He is literally performing an act as a result of mind-altering internal decay and possible brain damage. I'm not doing to pretend that killing one's parents is a cool and okay thing to do, but this is a scenario in which an effectively dying man being ravaged by sickness is killing his parents out of the perceived likelihood that they were in league with the people who did this to him. And probably had more than enough reasons to confirm that his suspicions were true.

Compare to Sephiroth, who killed other people's parents, who were completely innocent and had nothing at all to do with what Shinra did to him.

[cosmic-d1ce]

Slimariana & Flippa hcs bc gay people <3

* Slime and Mariana the only two people that had a wedding ceremony after being paired

* Slime wears his ring on a necklace after the trial and Mariana still wears his, but takes it off when he's with Slime

* Charlie doesn't wear shoes. He is barefoot always.

* Flippa copies him until Mariana comes and gives her shoes

* After Tilín died, Flippa wore his ribbon on her wrist

* Flippa and Chayanne secretly hung out while their parents were away since they lived so close

* Mariana talks about Slime like they're still together. He tells people how he goes home to his husband and they don't always get along, especially after Flippa's death but they're getting through it together

* Charlie pretends not to know Mariana sometimes, it makes him feel better

* Mariana carries Flippa's glasses at all times

* Slime and Mariana really, honestly believed they were good parents for Flippa because they both had really tough childhoods

* Mariana sometimes sleeps in Flippa's room, it makes him feel closer to her

* Mariana can't sleep unless he's thinking of Charlie

* Slime does not understand kissing and has never kissed Mariana, Mariana had kissed him many times though

* Slime talks to himself, Mariana giggles about it everytime he remembers

* Mariana and Slime are both really clumsy, Slime is somehow always injured and Mariana breaks pretty much everything he touches

* They actually knew eachother for a little while before the qsmp but got close once they were paired

* After arguments, Charlie and Mariana would individually go to Flippa and apologize for scaring her. Charlie would go first and Mariana would wait until Charlie was asleep

* Slime doesn't really need to sleep, he only started doing it so he and Mariana could be closer at night

* Slime & Mariana are both some kind of trans and that's why it was so easy to accept Flippa, Mariana is bigender and Slime is maverique

& Mariana always wanted a daughter

* Theyre the type of people that are like "a relationship is meaningless without sex if my spouse stopped wanting sex id divorce them"

* Mariana leaves flowers at Tilín's grave on Charlie's behalf

* Slime and Mariana changed pretty much everything about how they lived to accommodate Flippa's allergies and disabilities

* Speaking of which, Flippa has POTS, asthma, multiple sclerosis & is partially deaf and has the worst eyesight ever

[itsdrawingmen]

Random Yoosung headcanons:

Has the cutest moles on his face. And body. Just a lot of moles in general.

Sleeps in pyjamas always.

He expresses his feelings exactly the way he feels them, and while they may sound cheesy, that is only because they are really this big and dramatic. He does honest to god react to everything.

More empathetic than is good for him. Always thinks of others' feelings before his own.

He is VERY not squeamish. Like, blood, shit, pus, wounds, bugs, dirt, — you name it, he can handle it. Yes, he's a medical student/medical professional, a veterinarian in the making, which kind of forces him to learn that, but he's just generally not squeamish.

He's also into trying things for himself before forming opinions, even weird things.

At the same time, he's a huge softie, and he can absolutely NOT tolerate any human-inflicted violence. He will not watch horror or (realistic) war movies, he becomes absolutely devastated after treating animals traumatized by humans, and if he sees someone hurting someone else, if he doesn't rush to intervene he beats himself up about it forever.

He's very body positive in that he's completely fine with all the things the human body does (blood, fat, sweat, hair, you name it), but also in that he romanticises everything about his beloved people: he finds their features beautiful because they're theirs.

He always feels like he isn't doing enough. His parents never really told him he was good (they didn't want to spoil him) or supported his emotions (boys don't cry), then came Rika, then RFA, and basically all his life he's been surrounded by people who were better than him. And he just grew up without really feeling like he was good at anything. Because of this, he's dependent on instant gratification and prone to debilitating depressive episodes, and this is partially the same place his self-sacrifice comes from. Raised on heroic media, he feels that the only way for him to ever do something that counts is to sacrifice himself.

He thrives on others' encouragement, and he's always craved it from his parents, but the attention they would give him was mostly nagging and punishments, so he internalized that love is pain, people hurt those they love, and that, most importantly, you need to deserve love.

His learned reaction to danger is fawning. When he is mistreated, his default course of action is to smile and take it. If he does ever get offended, it's on the others' behalf. It takes him a while to unlearn.

Forever remains far from traditional masculinity, and learns to embrace that fact.

Extremely loving and tender in bed. He likes pleasing more than he likes being pleased. In general, lovemaking to him is about emotions and connection, an expression of love, and orgasms are mainly a sweet bonus.

He likes his hair being pet and his scalp being touched. Having his hair washed is an absolutely heavenly experience for him.

Over the years dyeing his hair, he has developed an interest in hairdressing, so he would wash/braid/dye others' hair with pleasure.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Hair Trigger

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Superfam, YJ98

Summary: A junior at Gotham University, Jason finds it difficult to conceal his worsening mental health from his family and his friend, Jon Lane Kent. Family secrets are revealed and boundaries are pushed as Jason and Laney struggle to navigate through school, their romantic feelings, and their trauma. Could the reintroduction of Laney Kent be more trouble than it's worth, or is it just what Jason needed to confront the demons of his past?

I will also do trigger warnings for chapters and if there is smut I have the chapter(s) tagged so you don't have to worry about nsfw in the fic if you're just here for the story itself.

Chapters: 11/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Jonathan Lane Kent, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Conner Kent, Natalia Knight, Jonathan Samuel Kent, Cassie Sandsmark, Chris Kent, Bart Allen, Original Character(s)

Relationships: JayLaney, Clois, TimKon

Additional Tags: University AU, No Powers AU, Sharing A Bed, Romance, Angst

Chapter Eleven: Home Dining

Jason took his shower and got dressed for work that morning, and Laney sat on his bed swinging his feet. "Jason?" Laney called.

"I'm done with the bathroom," Jason replied. He walked over to the doorway, stopping at the threshold as if he were waiting to be invited in.

"You run hot, you know that?" Laney asked. Jason nodded, rubbing his neck out of embarrassment. "What?"

"I usually sleep in my underwear, and I've never shared a bed with anyone before," Jason confessed. Laney chuckled.

"C'mere," Laney whispered, gesturing with both hands for Jason to enter the room. Jason walked over and stood in front of Laney. "I'm messing with you. Jason, I don't care what you sleep in or how warm you sleep... Tonight was the first in almost a month that I've slept through the whole night. I wasn't saying it because it bothered me, but I'd like it a lot if the next time you stay over, you really make yourself at home." Jason sat down next to Laney and lay his head on Laney's shoulder.

"You want me to sleep in my underwear next time I come over?" Jason asked.

"It'd be preferred, yeah," Laney joked. Jason chuckled and interlaced his fingers with Laney's. "You wanna know what I'm thinking?" Laney asked. Jason nodded.

"Sure," Jason whispered.

"I'm thinking this could really work... I'm also wondering if you want a ride to work or school or wherever you're going," Laney replied. Jason nodded.

"I work in the tutoring center at school—." His phone rang.

"Is that your dad?" Laney asked.

"Actually, no, it's your dad... Should I tell him I spent the night here?" Jason asked.

"Wait and see if he asks... It's not like anything happened. We didn't even kiss... Go ahead," Laney whispered.

Jason answered the phone, whispering a polite, "Good morning, Mr. Kent."

"Good morning, Jason... Are you busy?" Clark asked.

"No, I'm not busy... Is something wrong?" Jason asked. Laney gave Jason a peck on the cheek and took his clothes to the bathroom.

"No, actually, I just wanted to call to ask if you were okay. I know you and Bruce aren't exactly on speaking terms right now, but—."

"I understand that you might feel partially responsible, but it's on him because it was his decision," Jason interrupted.

"Can you afford to miss school today?" Clark asked.

"I have work, and then I have a test today. I won't be free until almost seven... Is this why you called?" Jason asked.

Clark took a deep breath over the phone. "Yes, Jason. Bruce just wants to talk to you in person. Bruce knows what he did hurt you, and he wants to speak to you to work things out," Clark replied, "And trust me, talking things through isn't really something he's used to doing... Parents are still learning too. It doesn't mean you have to forgive him, but it does mean that you might have to look at things a little differently."

"Well, he can meet me at school at six-thirty by the cafeteria... But only because you spoke on his behalf, Mr. Kent," Jason replied.

"Okay. I'll let Bruce know... Oh, and Jason, tell Laney I said good morning—."

"Mr. Kent, I can—."

"I was going to say when you see him," Clark chuckled, "How's Laney feeling, by the way?"

"He's doing good," Jason whispered. He could hear Laney's brothers yelling in the background.

"Boys, please... Thank you, Jason. Feel free to call me if you ever want to talk," Clark offered.

"Thanks, Mr. K., I will," Jason replied before hanging up. Jason walked out to the living room and tied his shoes while he sat on the couch.

"What'd my dad say?" Laney asked as he walked out of his bathroom. Jason shrugged.

"He told me that my dad wants to talk to me... Oh, and he asked if you were okay," Jason replied, "Can we get breakfast on campus?"

Laney nodded. "Jason, come here," Laney replied. Jason smiled and walked over to Laney.

Laney threw his arms around Jason's neck and pressed a kiss to Jason's lips. Jason smiled and opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't find the words. Laney kissed him, and before either of them could think, Jason lay on the couch as Laney kissed his neck, and he took his hands and held Laney's face. "Laney, no, remember," Jason reminded him, a tinge of nervousness in his voice. It was just enough for Laney to notice. Jason maintained eye contact with Laney as Laney took a deep breath, and he nodded. Laney rested his forehead against Jason's shoulder.

"I'm sorry... I forgot," Laney whispered. Jason smiled and pressed a kiss to Laney's cheek.

"I forgot too... We gotta go anyway," Jason whispered. Laney nodded, and they both got up and grabbed their bags before they made their way downstairs to the car. They rode to school in silence, and after they got out, Jason went around to the driver's seat and took Laney's hand in his.

Laney followed Jason to the cafeteria, and Jason ordered a coffee for himself, tea for Laney, and some french toast for the both of them. After their order was ready, Jason ate with Laney, brushing Laney's hand with his pinky. "What are you thinking?" Jason asked.

"I don't want to rush you, Jason... That's all. I'm sorry if I—."

"You didn't rush me. Laney, you weren't pushing me to do anything back there," Jason interrupted as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Swear?" Laney asked.

"Swear," Jason answered.

Laney went back to eating before looking up once more, "You really had a crush on my mom, huh?" Laney teased.

"Shut up," Jason laughed, "She smells nice..."

"How do you know what my mom smells like?" Laney asked.

"She hugged me once... What? I was upset about something, and she gave some weird sports reference I didn't understand, and she hugged me," Jason replied. Laney chuckled.

"Yeah, that sounds like Mom... Bet she called you Champ or some shit like that," Laney whispered, "I can see it now. I can see why you liked her... Unless you still—."

"No, I don't still have a crush on your mom. Actually, in a way, most of the stuff I liked about her helped me like you... I mean, you're a huge jerk sometimes, but underneath it all, you're one of the warmest people I know," Jason whispered.

"You mean that?" Laney asked as he finished up. Jason nodded. "And what are you?"

"Oh, I'm just an asshole—." Laney chuckled. "No, seriously. I'm mean as fuck," Jason laughed.

"Yeah?" Laney asked. Jason nodded. "You know what, now you sound like yourself. Want me to walk you to the tutoring center?"

"Only if you'll let me walk you to class next week," Jason replied. Laney got up and threw their plates away before taking a sip of his tea.

"Mm, Jason, okay... Oh! Jay, um, if I don't call you this weekend, it's because my mom and I have therapy on Friday," Laney whispered, "And I'm pretty sure she's gonna spend the weekend with me." They walked hand-in-hand, and once they got to the tutoring center, instead of kissing Jason, Laney hugged him. He held onto him for a while.

"Lane..." Jason whispered. Laney let go. "I'm gonna meet my dad here at like six-thirty tonight."

"If you want to talk after you see him, I'll be here," Laney whispered, "I'll even come and pick you up if you want me to." Jason nodded.

Once Laney was gone, Jason went back to work, and he couldn't help but smile.

The day didn't seem to drag on like it usually did for him. It wasn't until late in the afternoon that a wave of discomfort washed over him. He wished that he hadn't agreed to see Bruce after class. After Jason's class ended, he walked over to the cafeteria and stood outside. He took out his phone and called Laney. "Hey, you and your dad talk yet?" Laney asked.

"Are you still on campus?" Jason asked.

"Uh-huh, want me to wait for you?" Laney asked. Jason leaned against the wall and looked up at the stars.

"Yeah, Lane... I don't know how long I'll be, though—."

"That's okay. I told you I'd stick around," Laney whispered, "I'll be here. See you in a little bit, okay?"

"Okay," Jason whispered before Laney hung up.

He waited for about ten minutes and decided to walk home, but before he could move, he heard a woman's voice. "I hate to be late, but I just spent an absurd amount of time arguing with your father about which one of us should come out to speak to you."

Jason turned to look at her, and she was just as he remembered.

"Natalia? Mom?" Jason's eyes filled to the brim with tears. He embraced her, almost lifting her off of the ground. She hugged him back. "What are you doing here?" Jason asked.

"Will you walk with me?" Natalia asked. Jason nodded and followed her as they walked toward the park. "Jason, blame for my absence does not solely rest on Bruce. I chose to stay away because I thought it would benefit you."

Jason looked at her and took a deep breath. "You left me?" Jason whispered. His voice broke, and he stopped walking.

"No, Jason, you don't understand. It wouldn't have been easy for you if I stayed," she whispered, "It wasn't until Bruce sabotaged my plans to meet with you that I realized I was being incredibly selfish. I had to separate myself for your own good—."

"You never called or wrote... How was that good for me?" Jason asked.

She took a deep breath and nodded. "I just wanted you to move on with your life. I thought it would be best—." Jason started walking again, and Natalia followed. "Jason, I understand if you're upset with me—."

Jason pulled out his phone and sent a text. "I am upset with you, but I think we should have dinner at my apartment. I'll walk you back to the parking garage because that's where my ride is waiting," Jason replied. He turned back toward the school and walked a few paces ahead of her. Jason blinked away a few tears, walking to the lot, and Jason waited until she got in Bruce's car before letting his tears fall. When he got to Laney's car, he got in and slammed the door.

"Jesus! Jason—. Hey," Laney's voice softened, "Hey. What happened?"

"She doesn't—." Jason swallowed hard. "She didn't want to come back."

"Jason... What are you talking about?" Laney asked gently. "What's wrong?" Jason wiped his face with his sleeve, and Laney put his knees in his seat to lean in and wipe Jason's face with his jacket. "Hey... It's alright."

"My mom didn't come back because she didn't want to," Jason wept, and Laney moved Jason's hand away from his face. "She could've come back, but she didn't."

Laney nodded. "I don't really know your foster mom all that well. I only met her once, but I know that sometimes parents rarely ever just wake up and decide they don't love their kids anymore... If she didn't come back—. You don't want me to explain things to you. I'm sorry," Laney apologized. Jason embraced him and cried. "I've got you."

Laney allowed him a few minutes to pull himself together, and Jason sniffed as he mumbled, "You're probably right." Jason inhaled sharply, and Laney kissed his cheek. "We can go now..."

"You sure?" Laney asked. Jason nodded. "It's gonna be okay. Dinner's gonna be fine. I'll even help cook." Jason bit his nails. "Hey, I'm serious. It's gonna be fine."

Laney buckled his seatbelt and started to drive toward Jason's apartment. "I couldn't even say how I felt. I don't have the words. I can't—."

"That's okay... Sometimes talking about your feelings is like that... Just do and say what you feel—."

"I change my mind," Jason blurted out, and Laney turned to look at him. "Maybe we should just go back to—."

"Jason, what's up with your family and feelings. Just tell them exactly how you feel... Isn't it better that everyone knows what's going on?" Laney asked. Jason didn't answer. Instead, he covered his mouth and looked out the window like a scolded child. "If you don't want to talk to them, at least text them and tell them that." Jason shook his head.

"I'm gonna go..." Jason mumbled.

"I know it's a lot, but I don't think you'll regret dealing with things," Laney replied, "I know I'm not as in touch with my emotions as my brothers and dad are, but I do know that talking things out does work."

Jason didn't say anything else until they got to his apartment and Natalia and Bruce stood at the door as if they'd been there several minutes before Jason and Laney arrived. Jason let them all in, and he went to the kitchen to wash his hands. Laney greeted both of them and washed his hands as well. "Laney, can you make the salad?" Jason asked. Laney nodded.

"I like your apartment—."

"You don't," Jason interrupted, and Laney nudged him.

"Just change the subject," Laney whispered.

"So, have you both been lying to me as a unit, or did you part ways completely when I was fourteen?" Jason asked his parents.

"Jason, that's not fair. I thought it was what's best for you—."

"It wasn't... Everything was different. I lost you and my best friend. I wasn't happy—."

"Because it wasn't fair... I should have been there. I should've made better choices so that I could have been there... I couldn't come back to you without learning to be the parent you needed," Natalia interrupted, "I know now from what you're saying and from what Bruce has told me, we were wrong about the way we handled things... That's why I'm here now. I want you to know that I never stopped loving you, even in my absence. I just wanted you to feel normal."

"Dad, why didn't you just ask me if I thought about running away? And Mom, why didn't you ask me if I had feelings about being around you after what you did?" Jason asked. "Why didn't you two ever ask me about how I felt?"

"You seemed fine," Bruce replied from where he sat on the couch.

"I wasn't okay. I disappeared, Dad, and you would've known had you just asked me. You never asked me how it felt to know my mom was going to jail or what it felt like to know I wasn't allowed to see my best friend anymore or how it felt to have my whole life turned upside down again...

I've been thinking these past few days, and I just have to ask... Mom, did you ever once think about how hard it was for me to trust you when you met me? And Dad, why is it that you won't allow me to know the causes for why I always feel like this?" Jason asked. Laney looked up from the lettuce he'd cut up.

Natalia opened her mouth to speak, and no words came out. Bruce took a deep breath. "Is this about the hospital?" Bruce asked.

"That's what all of this is about, actually," Jason replied harshly.

"I don't know what led up to it because you wouldn't speak to me afterward, but you kept telling me that you just needed some air... And then you drove your fist through your window," Bruce replied, "You don't remember that?"

Jason chewed his lip. "No, I don't remember..."

Laney cleared his throat. "Jason, you should go sit and talk with your parents. I'll cook dinner..." Laney whispered the words in Jason's ear. Laney kissed him on the cheek. "Okay?"

Jason nodded and sat in a chair in his living room. He listened to Bruce speak for a while about what happened all those months ago. "I chalked it up to you being stressed about school... I never really thought to ask why," Bruce replied, "It doesn't mean that I wasn't concerned about you..."

"I know," Jason replied, "But sometimes I feel like you don't really hear me."

"I do. I just sometimes don't know what to say or do in response," Bruce replied.

"We did agree on one thing in the car... We should have been more of a team when it came to caring about you. We'd spent so much time competing for your time and affection we never realized how much that hurt you," Natalia added. She reached out and waited a moment as if she were waiting for his permission, and Jason embraced her. He took Bruce's hand and pulled him into their small embrace.

Laney's phone rang, startling the three of them, and he apologized before answering his call. "Conner?"

"Hey, Lane. Are you busy?" Conner asked.

"A little busy... Why? What's wrong?" Laney asked as he stepped outside.

"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to show you a picture of my tattoo," Conner replied.

"I feel like you could've texted me—."

"I wanted to get your reaction in real-time," Conner replied, "Did you get it yet?" Laney looked at his phone and opened a text from Conner.

"Give me like two seconds... Wait—." Laney stopped talking for a moment and smiled. "You know, you lied to me."

"I'm sure you're used to it. What do you think?" Conner asked.

"I think you're an idiot for doing this, but it looks great. I'm surprised you remembered that... But you know what, maybe it'll keep Mom from killing you when she finds out you got a tattoo," Laney replied.

"I decided I'm gonna tell her right before you go to therapy—."

"Wait, no, don't do that. I just remembered I gave you my fucking ID. She's gonna be pissed at me too," Laney interrupted, "Shit. Mom can never find out about that tattoo ever. Or I literally will kill you, and I mean that."

"Oh, I found my ID. So, I didn't have to use yours. I had to tell the girl who did it that my older brother scheduled it for me," Conner laughed, "I think she bought it. What are you doing?"

"I'm supposed to be helping Jason make dinner. I'm having dinner with his parents at his apartment... I'll call you back later—."

"Or I can just stop by your place—."

"I'm staying over Jason's," Laney replied, "But I'll call you back if you want me to."

"No, I'm good. Have fun at Jason's. I'll see you Friday when Mom comes back," Conner answered. Laney smiled.

"Okay, now... But that makes you sound like you're staying the weekend with Mom and me—."

"Love you, mean it!" Conner interrupted before hanging up.

"I hate when he does that," Laney whispered before going back to Jason's apartment.

Jason was at the stove, opening up cans of ravioli. "Do you like living alone?" Natalia asked.

"Sometimes I do," Jason replied. Laney came over and tapped Jason's arm.

"Do you want me to do anything else?" Laney whispered in his ear.

"Do you think we should tell them?" Jason asked. Laney smiled. "I think so too." Laney kissed him on the cheek.

"What's going on?" Bruce asked.

"Turns out Lane and I like each other, like a whole lot. He's my boyfriend," Jason smiled, "He's finally my boyfriend."

"I like the sound of that... Jason's boyfriend," Laney whispered.

[whovianwatchingstartrek]

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 061 - Baby Trip

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 3 Episode 10 - Similitude

So the cold open of this one was shock to me. Trips funeral was not something I was definitely expecting to see when I put on the episode. Thankfully, after the episode does jump back two weeks, so they didn't kill off a member of the core cast off screen.

So Trip doing another neuro-pressure season with T'Pol, and when they're called over to man their stations. Enterprise is suffering a lot of engine problems, and an explosion in the engine takes Trip out of commission. Because Trip is unconscious Phloxx suggests growing a clone for a partial transplant purposes, and that may be Trip's only chance to survive. Archer approves, but is bothered with the ethics of it. The moment cloning got brought up, I figured out the opening was probably a switcheroo, and that the body would be the clone, not the original Trip.

Whether growing clones for the sole purpose of medical transplants is a concept and analogy for bodily autonomy almost as old as Sci-Fi itself, so I was really interested to see how the episode would tackle it.

Phlox being a really good dad is really wholesome, I loved his scenes with Baby Sim in the montage of him growing up. Apparently Sim can even access Trip's memories too. Sim is entirely identical to Trip in every way. We also got to a bit of Archer's parenting style while Telling Sim about his purpose. The actor who played Sim as a kid also did a pretty good job at portraying a subtle kind of sadness at the realisation that he's a clone.

It was really interesting to see Trip and T'pol relationship pushed forward even with Trip out of commission, and having Sim basically confess love on Trip's behalf is a unique kind of development. Sim has all of Trip's memories, but Trip doesn't have Sim's, he has no idea this conversation happened. He even gets a kiss from T'Pol at the end which is more process than anyone else the show has tried to set her up with has made.

After a scene where Sim saves enterprise from a predicament, Phlox figures out that Sim won't survive the transplant. Archer and Phlox need to chose between Sim and Trip, and the episode really starts digging into it's premise

Like I said early, this kind of concept is really common for Sci-Fi, especially when cloning is involved, because it is a really good question explore bodily autonomy, the definition of humanity and a lot of other really interesting ideas. Doctor Who's done it a few times, it wouldn't surprise me if the other Star Treks have done similar plot lines, you could argue it goes right back to the birth of Sci-Fi as a genre with Frankenstein. This episode does it really well, and it balances the issues of Sim's humanity and his bodily autonomy really well. I was expecting it to focus on one topic or the other, but that balance really hit. I wish we could have spent a bit more time on it, but, but episodes have time limits.

Archer is dead set on completing the procedure, so Sim starts locking down the ship, to run away, then realised he doesn't have anywhere to go. In the end, Sim agrees to the procedure, and honestly it's really sad. The only reason he agreed was because there wasn't anything else for him. His final scenes were heart-breaking. And I'm really glad we didn't see the original trip wake up after the surgery, it allowed Sim's death to be Sim's death.

This was a really good episode. I'd put it as one of the best so far, this one hit hard.

[vilevexedvixen]

Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribes are capable of adapting to many things. They have a sense of community and love that holds them together through anything.

-Uncle Iroh

It bothers me that Korra's stubbornness and reckless impulsivity are the writers' attempts at having Korra be opposite to Aang.

Aang is many things; lighthearted, partial to the wisdom of the air nomads and while still open minded he generally values the wisdom of the monks over other philosophies, willing to be there for people and put his foot down but ONLY if no other option is available, and avoidant in that he'd sooner run away from his problems in favour of fun if he feels he can. He means well, but is understandably overwhelmed by the worldly demands of his role as the Avatar.

I like that Korra enthusiastically accepts the role and is eager to perform it even as she does so poorly or in ways not suited to the situation she's in (more focussed on combat and physical aspects of bending rather than the philosophies of each nation, spiritual connection and diplomacy). In that respect, she IS Aang's opposite.

What does bother me is that her stubbornnous and combativeness is written to be obnoxious and, frankly, stupid. Being direct isn't inherently either of those things, yet the writers managed to have Korra seeming nothing but unwise and impatient until VERY late in the show and in a shoft too sudden to be natural.

Instead, I would have liked to see Korra's headstrong nature to be on behalf of her community, her family and her friends above everything. We know she was somewhat estranged from her community as a child, being raised largely by her mentors in The order of the White Lotus and her parents, but be allowed around the southern tribe enough to take part in local festivals and feel homesick for the larger tribe and not just her commune when she moves to Republic City. Which would've been nice to tie into her difficulty not picking a side / remaining impartial as an Avatar is supposed to (in theory) during the civil war arc.

*Frankly the fact that arc is dropped halfway through season 2 in favour of adding an overexplaination of bending / avatar origins NOBODY asked for will always irritate me.*

Korra may keep going back to directly confront figures but try a different strategy or consult the wisdom of those she trusts and respects most MORE than she did in the actual show and have the wisdom of others help her adapt would've been much better than seeing her try and throw flames and rocks at each villain for the fifth time in a row.

Have it be her actually seeking out their wisdom rather than them granting her visions or happening across her while she's wondering around in a poisoned stupor.

Basically, I don't think her more brash traits were handled well and I also don't think being headstrong makes you inherently more like earth or fire moreso than water *cough* "You can't knock me down!" Katara *cough*

It's not the worst written show, but Korra is a VERY frustrating protagonist to follow because her bad decisions aren't written in a way that has her seem flawed in an endearing andcrealistic way. It instead feels written like the writers forgot that stubbornness is not stupidity and combativeness is not borne of just anger but can be borne of conviction and passion to protect people and ideas the character cares about.

[cult-of-the-placeholder]

Uhhhh so. I can't draw, so please don't throw rocks at me 😅 is anyone gonna see this? DUNNO. But I'm throwing it into the void anyway

Behold: 4 cute babies for me to traumatize with my War on the Lamb AU

This AU wouldn't exist without @heketsbroodau and their amazing fics. Go read them! Literally right now! All of them! Every single one!!!!!!!

The general idea this WotL AU works with goes as follows:

- The demigod children of the bishops (cousins), quailing and listless in the wake of their parents' slaughter, decide to counter attack and wage war on the lamb for ruining their lives and killing the family they loved so dearly

- In each brood, one was voted amongst the siblings to take up the Crowns to use their power to lead the vengeance quest (because the crowns are at least partially sentient, I imagine that they vanished when their bearers died to keep themselves from being ceased)

- The children have mostly been raising themselves since the lamb destroyed... literally everything

- They're planning to essentially use one of themselves as a sacrifice: taking up the Red Crown and agreeing to be locked away in eternal banishment to prevent it from ever causing trouble and strife again

Though their ages when each Bishop died varies, they are in order: Adami, Ylindri, Phereo, and finally No Name. When Shamura dies, their ages go as follows: 19 (Adami), 14 (Ylindri), 12 (Phereo), No Name (9). When the story kicks off they'll all likely be in their 20s but I haven't decided fully yet.

Adami:

As the oldest amongst the cousins, she feels it is the duty of her and her siblings to look after the younger ones. She loves them all very much, every, single, one. She and her dad were really close, and though she didn't have his aptitude for magic she was a born scientist at heart. She was always tucked away in the temple labs, fussing with bacteria cultures and scribbling in her notebooks. Thoroughly enjoyed Kallamar's genetics hobby, and still has the the very first genome they ever wrote together memorized

When he died, she and her siblings all felt it. They heard the commotion and tried so, so hard to get to him, but Kallamar had cast a magic ward on the temple's inner sanctum, preventing his children from entering or even coming near, not trusting that Narinder's appetite for destruction wouldn't extend to his little ones. He was right, and only after he'd been dead for several hours did the barrier fade

Adami wrote her own speech for his funeral but was crying too hard to deliver it, so it fell to her older sibling to speak on her behalf. She was very much a daddy's girl, and prays at his shrine almost every day, wishing for a peaceful afterlife for him, begging her uncle to be kind (though she knows he won't be)

She splits the Blue Crown with one of her siblings: she's the best scientific mind they've got and is therefore excellent for inflicting biowarfare, but she's got -3 magical ability and so whenever there's need for mass healing or protective magic, it goes to her sibling

Would've probably become a very sweet, bubbly person if not for losing Kallamar. She's a lot more reserved these days, but is still generally pretty peppy when excited about something

Ylindri:

As mentioned above she's the most unbalanced of Shamura's children: meaning, while their domain is wisdom and war, she skewed heavily toward the first one. The majority of the spiderlings (eleven of them in total) are right in the middle, wielding their brains and brawn as one. There's only one other severe skew like Ylindri: her older sister, who's very skewed toward war

A scholar first and foremost, she spent countless days studying medicine and old divine texts trying to find a way to help her Lifegiver's brain damage. She regularly helped change their bandages

Worried they might forget them all, Ylindri wove her Lifegiver a special band of spider silk, which each of their names and a prayer for health delicately woven in. Her hope was that their love would stay with Shamura easier, and might help them feel better. Shamura wears it on their 4th wrist

In public Ylindri calls Shamura her Lifegiver, in private they are Ama

Very softspoken, and thoroughly heartbroken by Shamura's death. Tried to stop them from going to meet the lamb in the sanctum, but their mind had slipped again and Shamura didn't truly recognize her in that moment

Phereo:

Leshy's thirdborn child and second daughter. Is the only girl to have wings but has sworn off flying after Leshy's death

They were really close, and Leshy actually died while the children were in their first chrysallis (they're demigodlings. They undergo multiple metamorphoses in their lives), so when she emerged she and her siblings were greeted by the sorrowful Witness and the earth-shattering news that they had been orphaned

They preserved Leshy's remains so that his childreb could attend the funeral, but Phereo didn't go. She couldn't bear the thought. She was so terrified to make her chrysallis because everyone knows that girls don't have wings, and the only thing that got her to start spinning was her father's promise to be ready to recieve her when she'd emerged, and the whispered secret of, "You're just as I was. You'll be fine." After that, she doesn't want to appear in public, doesn't want anyone to see her, and spends all her time locked in her room mourning the loss of Leshy

She's got hardcore depression in wake of her dad's death. Everything is unstable and scary and she feels so lost and out of sorts. Years pass and her mental health stabilizes but doesn't improve: when the cousins start planning their war and how to defeat the Red Crown for good, she offers her body to the cause. She'll hsve to be banished and locked away, for all eternity. If it will avenge Leshy's death and let her go to a place where she can forget that she exists, then she's happy to do it

Someone get this worm therapy smh

No Name:

Someone seriously help me name him I've gone through like 5 names and none feel right 😭

The smallest, height wise and age wise. He hates it

This froggy is a MAMA'S BOY. He was very, very close with Heket, and loved her more than life itself. She was his mother, after all--there was no one in the world he loved more. The whole gaggle of froglets found Heket's still cooling corpse in the Temple sanctum, and just. Basically did Simba and mufasa. Just kinda snuggled against her and begged her to get up, to heal, to be ok

I don't have a whooole lot of development for him but he's generally pretty quiet and brooding. Very angy. Late teenage angst when thebwar starts but also his mom was murdered by the guy they're waging war on so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Regardless. He's not having a good time. Eats his feelings a lot and is quietly hoping the war kills him

Was voted among his siblings to bear the Yellow Crown and he despises it. It feels so wrong, like the desecration of his mother's memory, to have him stand in her place and wear that which rightfully belongs to her and no one else. Prays to the crown every morning before he puts it on, asking his mother's forgiveness and hoping to serve her memory well

[ila-appreciationweek]

The Thing With Feathers

We are posting this on behalf of JCR/Departer on the ILW discord, who does not have a tumblr but who has been participating in ILAW. Art by @oh-so-youre-a-nerd.

Pairings: Connor x MC Word Count: 9499 Premise: The battle is won and the Power contained. What comes next? Takes place during and after Ch. 23 of ILW.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

- Emily Dickinson, “‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers”

- I -

The partially cured horrors with more on the loose. A failed blood moon ritual. Everest Snow merging with his human self. Lincoln McQuoid’s watch retrieved from the lake below, restoring him to life after a gruesome death. Learning the unfiltered truth about Matthias, his grisly demise, and how he became the new anchor. Discovering the full history behind Westchester’s problems and the source of the Power. Realizing that the Power was merely contained, and that Matthias-as-anchor would eventually need replacing.

None of this compared to what Demelza was asked to do in the aftermath.

Demelza received a phone call from Jocelyn’s parents the day after the carnival, asking for her help in sorting through Jocelyn’s belongings and moving everything out of her apartment after the funeral.

“Why me?” Demelza asked, still reeling from learning who was on the other line.

“We didn’t really know our daughter,” Jocelyn’s mother – Susan – admitted. “Jocelyn was never home growing up. She had been spending most of her time with you and your group of friends over the past couple of months… at least that’s what we saw whenever she updated her Pictagram.”

“I’ll do it,” Demelza said. “I’ll come over and help you and the rest of your family.” She pretended not to hear the heartbreaking sob that had escaped Susan’s lips before hanging up the phone.

Demelza’s eyes fell upon the beleaguered group, exhausted from the day’s events. Harper’s blond hair was pulled into a knot at the back of his head, and he kept his broken leg elevated on a folding chair Demelza found in the closet. He and Parker held hands at the kitchen table, and Danni, Imogene, and Tom sat with them. They each nursed a large, steaming mug of coffee. Elliot sat next to Harper with a cup of hot chocolate. Noah lay on the couch in a deep sleep recovering from using the Power earlier in the cave. Demelza and Connor’s patchwork quilt covered him, and he held Kenna, his stuffed animal moose, in the crook of his left arm. Lincoln stood over the couch and kept a protective eye on Noah while Connor sat in front of the fireplace, enraptured by the flames therein. Connor’s flaxen hair was wet and his skin dewy from a hot shower. He was wrapped in a fleece blanket the color of the sea, and bandages covered his forehead and arms from the cuts and scrapes he sustained while in the cave. He turned and gave Demelza a soft smile, and she was grateful to have him back.

Amalia sat in the chair next adjacent to the couch with her head in her hands. Her body and mind were exhausted, yet she could not sleep. Abel and Everest stood together in the corner. Abel rubbed circles on Everest’s back as his long, brown curls shielded his tear-streaked face.

Everest had emerged from the cave with Abel, Amalia, and Lincoln, with the latter’s watch hidden beneath his tightened grasp. Lincoln had stood next to Everest, his eyes haunted and bearing a new knowledge that was still too old yet impossible to name.

“The watch would only let me save one person!” Everest had cried. “I brought back Lincoln, but I couldn’t save Jocelyn!” He looked at the group and said, “I would’ve brought her back too if I could. I’m sorry.”

Everest’s face had crumpled as he slouched over and sobbed. His loud guttural cries had hit the air like lightning in reverse. Abel had put his arms around Everest and kissed the side of his head as a means of comfort.

“Don’t blame yourself, Everest,” Abel had said, his voice low, serious, and gentle all at the same time. “You’ve been our rock through this whole ordeal and have looked out for everyone else’s safety over your own. You did everything you could. You stopped the Blood Moon Ritual and put an end to Matthias’ evil deeds. You healed Connor. You saved Lincoln. You protected Noah and kept him from becoming the next anchor.” Abel had cupped Everest’s face in his hands with tenderness and said, “You can rest now.”

“I’m sorry, Demelza,” Everest had choked out. He removed his glasses and wiped his eyes before putting them back on again. “I can’t stay here. I must move on, and I hate that me doing that means you can’t. I know how much you and Connor wanted to leave Westchester after all this.”

“It’s okay, Everest,” Demelza had responded truthfully. She put a comforting hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I knew that I wouldn’t be able to leave when you told me Matthias became the new anchor. The problem’s taken care of for the next two hundred fifty years due to Matthias reaching that age here on earth.” She smiled despite everything. “That gives me and the rest of the Power Keepers time to come up with a contingency plan when that time comes, but we’re hoping it won’t. We’ll keep building our tribe and doing our research, and figure out a way to heal the Power without hurting anyone or needing another anchor again. Besides, Westchester needs a constant to see them through everything, and who can do that better than me?”

“Thank you for understanding.”

Demelza cleared her throat and brought herself back to the present. “That was Jocelyn’s mom on the phone. Her funeral is set for the end of this week. She wants me to help her go through Jocelyn’s things afterwards.”

Connor stood from his spot by the fire and let his blanket fall to the ground. He strode over to Demelza and wrapped his arms around her. He smelled of peppermint soap, pine, and campfire from sitting by the hearth. “Do you need my help?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “This is something I have to do on my own.”

- II -

Jocelyn’s funeral fell on a frigid, albeit sunny day with a cloudless blue sky. Susan, Jocelyn’s father Henry, younger sister Jasmine, and grandfather George greeted visitors at the funeral home, where Jocelyn’s service was just one of several that took place there over the past few days. A magnificent arrangement of hydrangeas, irises, lilacs, and orchids in various shades of purple covered the closed casket. Jocelyn’s former and current students shuffled in, each of them placing a handwritten card and colorful origami animal in amongst the flowers. Fellow teachers and the principal at the middle school she had worked at came, as did her track and field coach and professors at Westchester Community College. Her teammates, former high school cross country coach, and extended family were all in attendance.

Demelza even saw Cody’s mother present. She looked like her late son, but had a pinched, hollow face lined face like an old, well-used map folded several times over. Prominent crow’s feet sat on the edges of her eyes and her mouth was turned downwards, and Demelza knew it had not moved from that position in the past four years. She hugged Susan the moment she came in and the two women remained in an embrace for several long moments before the service started.

Britney slipped in moments before with shorter hair and the edges of her face sharper than they had ever been. She kept her arms folded and her gaze downward, knowing she was out of place here. Even though Britney and Jocelyn were close in middle school and high school, Jocelyn died as a stranger to her.

Demelza felt fidgety and on edge throughout the memorial. Connor kept his arm around her, serving as a calming force to her nerves. Harper, Parker, Elliot, Danni, and Imogene never had the opportunity to know Jocelyn well but came and showed their support. Tom sat with Noah, Sunny, Luis, and the rest of the witches, their expressions serious and eyes wondering what might have been. Lincoln kept his head down, suppressing his remorse and survivor’s guilt. Amalia’s dark eyes shone with unshed tears whilst Abel and Everest let theirs flow freely. Everest turned into Abel and brought him close, his shoulders heaving as he sobbed into Abel’s chest. Demelza turned away from the sight and knew Everest could not stay in Westchester, nor could she ask it of him.

She squirmed in her seat throughout the rest of the funeral. Connor put his hand on her knee as Jocelyn’s family, her old coaches, coworkers, and former students spoke about her. Demelza felt as though she was hearing about a person she didn’t truly know. She let her eyes wander during the picture slideshow Jocelyn’s sister compiled because she knew she wouldn’t recognize the person onscreen.

- III -

Everyone had kept to themselves after the funeral. Connor went to the shed to do some metal and woodworking. Noah went back into the woods, desiring to hear, commune, and find solace there again. Abel and Lincoln returned to their respective apartments for the last time, packing up their belongings and confirming the release from their contracts. Amalia got her car washed and vacuumed, and Everest deep cleaned the room he and Amalia had shared. Harper, Parker, Elliot, Danni, Imogene, and Tom had returned to Pine Springs.

Demelza thought about this as she left the café where she had helped see Abel and Everest off. Amalia and Lincoln were leaving the next day, and they didn’t plan on returning, save for the memorial Demelza had scheduled two months from now. She wanted the opportunity for herself and her friends to honor Jocelyn and everyone else lost to the Power in their own way. She got into her car, drove to Jocelyn’s old apartment complex, and mused on the walls being built amidst a tragic loss. Jocelyn had done the same after losing Cody.

Demelza knew it was up to her to keep those walls down and be the unifying force of the group – the constant – they all needed. She parked her car in the small, dingy parking lot and headed toward Jocelyn’s apartment, where the front door hung ajar. Several large garbage bags filled to the brims and knotted tightly sat outside, waiting to be taken down to the dumpster. Demelza tried not to think about all the trash inside as she stepped into the place where Jocelyn had once lived and breathed.

Henry and George cleaned the small kitchen and arranged for movers to take the old furniture and decorations to Goodwill. Meanwhile, Jasmine packed up the non-perishable food items for the local food bank and put the linens in another box. She took those boxes down to her car while Susan went through Jocelyn’s clothes. She placed each item into a “donate” or “toss” pile, but folded Jocelyn’s favorite denim jacket gently and set it aside. Demelza disinfected and cleaned the bathroom after Susan and Jasmine finished removing everything inside, then moved onto dusting, sweeping, and cleaning the sitting room.

After the movers left with the furniture and decorations, Susan and Henry brought out three boxes from her old room. Demelza gulped as George and Jasmine joined them, knowing what was ahead.

Jasmine opened the first box and pulled out a red, white, and blue plaid hybrid sweatshirt. Demelza recognized it immediately, as it had once belonged to Cody. She turned away from Jocelyn’s family and placed a hand over her mouth to keep herself from gagging. The coat still smelled like him: of Abercrombie and Fitch Oud Amour cologne, Axe antiperspirant spray, and salty sweat.

“Sorry,” Demelza coughed. “Just something I wasn’t expecting.”

“I never liked Cody,” Jasmine commented. “He was a jerk and yet Jocelyn always chose him over me.” She threw the sweatshirt on the ground in disgust.

Susan folded the sweatshirt with a frown and placed it next to Jocelyn’s denim jacket. “I wish we did more, Henry. We should’ve kept a better eye on her.”

“You didn’t know,” Demelza said. “Jocelyn was a private person. You can’t beat yourselves up over this.” She held Susan’s gaze and said, “Jocelyn was trying. She wanted to be better… but you could’ve – should’ve – loved for her who she was instead of who you wanted her to be.”

Henry turned away; he looked shameful.

“I’m sorry,” Demelza told them. Again. “I should’ve done more too.”

She spent the rest of the day helping Jocelyn’s family sort through the rest of her personal items contained in the boxes. Photographs of Jocelyn with Britney and Cody. Cross country and track team pictures. Numerous commemorative plaques, medals, and trophies from athletic competitions. Cross country and track shirts signed by her coaches and teammates. Brittle and dried flower corsages from school dances she attended with Cody that perfumed the air around them. Numerous scrapbooks Susan put together with painstaking effort documenting Jocelyn’s life. Mixed CDs with playlists Britney and Cody had curated just for her. Written notes Jocelyn had shared with Cody. A single polaroid of Jocelyn and Cody cheek-to-cheek with too wide grins and squinty eyes.

Demelza paused as she picked up an old, used copy of The Giver from inside the last box. She opened the book and gasped at the written inscription therein:

Dear Jocelyn,

Don’t lose hope. You’re getting there. You’re doing better than you think. Nothing is ever truly broken or lost unless you make it so. You can be and make the change you wish to see.

One day you’ll look back and realize how far you’ve come. I’m proud of you already.

Your friend,

-Everest

Demelza swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and wiped the tears from her eyes. Everest saw the best in Jocelyn despite knowing her past. He forgave her even after learning that she had tracked him and fed that information to Matthias. He reconciled the person Jocelyn used to be with the person she was becoming or at least wanted to be. He hated himself for not being able to save Jocelyn even though he couldn’t.

Demelza noticed a piece of paper peeking out about a hundred pages in. She opened the book to that spot and came across Jocelyn’s untidy scrawl written with a purple pen on a lined piece of paper ripped from a miniature notebook. Ink stains and smudges covered the edges but could not mask what Jocelyn had written down:

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

By: Emily Dickinson

Demelza sniffed and read the poem again.

Hope.

It was a fragile thing, light and breakable like the gossamer wings of a bird in flight. It could slip away in the night without you having ever known it was there in the first place.

Yet hope remained constant and reserved a place for itself in your soul once you kept it; always singing, withstanding the storms of life, keeping you warm in the coldest chills, remaining calm upon the unsteady seas, and never asking for anything in return.

Jocelyn had hope despite herself. Hope for her future happiness. Hope in her apologies. Hope in her newfound friendships. Hope for the chance to move forward. Hope for a world where the Power would never hurt anyone again.

This part of Jocelyn remained tethered to the earth in a way no one else could see but that would live on past the rest of them.

Henry noticed Demelza looking at the paper upon which Jocelyn had written the poem and the book from whence it came. “Do you want to take those things with you? Something of Jocelyn’s for you to keep?”

“Yes,” Demelza answered. “Thank you.”

Demelza decided she would send Everest’s book back to him. She had seen him reading it in the cabin during their downtime. Everest had said The Giver was his favorite book and that his father had often read it to him.

Demelza stood from her place on the floor and hugged each member of Jocelyn’s family before leaving the apartment for good. Demelza hauled all the trash bags to the dumpster so they wouldn’t need to. Then, she folded the piece of paper - evidence of a life once lived - and placed it inside her wallet so she would always carry Jocelyn’s memory and hope for a better world with her wherever she went.

- IV -

Connor had presented Demelza with a custom-made engagement ring after the memorial she hosted just for their core group. Demelza had accepted and smiled upon seeing it placed on her left ring finger, knowing that Connor knew her innermost parts. He knew the sinews that bound her flesh and bones together, the blood that flowed freely through her veins. He knew her fierce and mighty heart, determined soul, and how hard she fought for the people she loved.

Demelza reflected on this as she lay on the warm sands of Moorea, Tahiti four months later. She and Connor flew around the world for a much-needed, month-long respite after they caught the last horror and administered the half-baked cure Harper and Sunny had provided. It gave the victims their minds and sanity back, but left them with ashen skin, vampiric teeth, and claws sharper than that of any animal. Doctors from the best hospitals still worked with them on the aftereffects while scientists had attributed the cause to acid rain. Demelza was grateful for Connor and his true and unconditional love for her, how he had told her that they did all they could, and to put aside the what if’s and that what might have been of the situation.

She grabbed a handful of the pale gold, soft silt of sand, let it run through her fingers, and remembered the memorial hosted in her parents’ backyard. She had provided the champagne and firewood while Lincoln took time away from sorting Matthias’ affairs and giving away his millions of dollars to join them. Amalia took another road trip back to Westchester from Portland before beginning her final year at the University of Oregon. Harper, Parker, Danni, Imogene, Tom, Elliot, and his boyfriend Robbie had made the drive down from Pine Springs. Noah had grilled chicken and hamburgers for the main course and brought homemade side dishes and desserts, having rediscovered his passion for culinary arts. Demelza had known Abel and Everest wouldn’t be in attendance and understood why. She had received a note from Everest after mailing his book back to him, letting her know that he and Abel had settled in northern California and were happy with their new lives.

Demelza continued running her fingers through the sand as she watched the ocean waves break onto the shore. The surf went forward and backward like clockwork, keeping time with the rhythm of nature. The Westchester woods had gotten their groove back, but Demelza knew nature would eventually run its course and that Matthias-as-anchor would eventually need replacing to keep things in harmony. But Demelza knew she wouldn’t be alone in that task or in finding a way to heal the Power without sacrificing an innocent life.

“Hey, you,” Connor whispered in her ear. He sat down next to her, kissed her freckled shoulder and pulled her close. He fixed his grey eyes on the sea and looked calm and relaxed for the first time in years. His eyes were clear and radiant, posture no longer slouched with carrying burdens and sorrows others could not see, and his skin emitted an effervescent glow from his time spent in the Tahitian sunshine. Connor’s hair lightened from his time outside and he had gotten a much-needed trim right before they left on their vacation. His hair was still long but looked much healthier than it had before.

“Hey yourself,” Demelza said. She cupped Connor’s face in her hands and kissed him hard. He tasted like mango, coconut, and chocolate. “How was your walk?”

“It would’ve been better if you came too,” Connor answered. He stretched his long legs out in front of him, kissed Demelza’s temple, and ran his gentle hand through her hair. “We should get married when we get back. It’s time to move forward.”

Demelza nodded. “You’re right.” She leaned into Connor’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around her again. “I’m grateful we don’t have to deal with the Power by ourselves anymore. We can finally start our lives – and throw the best party of the century while doing it. We’ll have it in our backyard. Sunny, Luis, and the witches can help us decorate. Noah and his friends at culinary school can help us with the menu and taste testing. He’s only in his first semester and is itching for a project already. We’ll invite our friends, keep things small and intimate.”

“What about your parents?”

Demelza knew on a certain level she couldn’t shut her parents out of her wedding. They were the only blood family she had left, the distance having only grown wider with age. Their siblings and parents – both sets of Demelza’s grandparents – were long dead. Demelza’s mother and father had given her life just as the sun had started setting on theirs. They had started making more of an effort after what happened at the homecoming dance those years ago. But they were strangers, nonetheless.

“They can come,” she said. “They can be the family ghosts like they’ve always been.” She looked up at Connor and asked, “What about your dad?”

“I haven’t heard from him since he filed for divorce from my mom,” he said. “My dad didn’t even call after she died. He wouldn’t have cared if something had happened to me. Why would I want him to come?”

“We’re two peas in a pod,” Demelza said. “No extended family whatsoever.” She didn’t possess the heart to add that Connor didn't have any blood relatives left either. That would always hang in the air between them like smoke after a fire. Connor’s dead family – both literally and figuratively – would always linger, having seeped into every crevice imaginable even though the flames were long put out.

She trailed a finger down Connor’s taut stomach, making patterns on his six-pack and twirling the line of blond hair stretching down his stomach. “It’s partly why I want to make babies with you – lots of them.”

Connor grinned and flipped Demelza over onto her side. He undid her black bikini top, sticky from the summer heat and tossed it aside before Demelza grabbed his hand and guided it downward between her thighs. His grin grew wicked, and he said, “Let's have some fun first.”

- V -

The wedding occurred three months later beneath a wooden stick arch interwoven with freesias, garden roses, larkspur, peonies, wildflowers, and angel feather grass in every color imaginable. It stood in front of the pine trees in their backyard, and beneath the yellow, orange, pink, and purple hues of the sunset. Multicolored paper lanterns floated midair above the semicircle of gold chairs facing the archway. The air smelled of honeysuckle, rosemary, and sage.

Demelza faced Connor, their smiles wide and close to bursting. Demelza donned pearl earrings with a flower crown and lace veil that fell straight past her shoulders and nearly touched the train of her vintage wedding dress. Connor wore a new suit and black bow tie that fit him perfectly with a boutonnière that matched the flowers in Demelza’s hair and the bouquet she held in her manicured hands.

They went without bridesmaids and groomsmen due to the small, intimate nature of their wedding. Demelza’s parents sat in the center of the semicircle, and it pained her to see how old they really were. Noah came with his girlfriend Chelsea Vincenzo, a fellow culinary student from a large Italian American family that owned a pizza parlor in the next town over and had embraced him as a second son. Harper sat with Parker, Elliot, and Robbie; both couples were stronger than ever. Danni had her camera in tow and sat between Imogene and Tom. Amalia and Lincoln were there, each talking turns along with Abel in calming Everest and pulling him from the ledge. Abel had told them that they would stay for the wedding and reception but had a quick turnaround time; Demelza and Connor understood and were grateful Abel and Everest had made the sacrifice to come. Sunny and Luis stood under the archway with them as co-officiators, and the rest of the Westchester witches came and mingled with Connor’s high school friends.

A golden chair sat empty amidst the wedding guests, the very spot where Jocelyn should’ve been – alive and celebrating with them. Demelza knew the chair was also for Stacy and Mayor Green, evidence of a family forever fractured by death. She thought of Andy, Ava, Dan, Jane, Lily, and Lucas, and how their lives were cut short, their potential never realized.

Connor noticed Demelza staring at the vacant chair and squeezed her hands. “I miss them too,” he said. “But they’re here in spirit. They want us to be happy.”

“I know.”

The ceremony went smoothly. Sunny and Luis pronounced Connor and Demelza as husband and wife whilst the sunset faded into the blue-black sky above. Sunny and Luis waved their hands, sending the paper lanterns up into the air, where they burst and trailed flecks of gold and miniature translucent baubles filled with light. The full moon became visible amidst a vast display of stars and the constellations, which were visible for all to see and gave off a glowing, radiant light.

Everyone congregated to the other side of the manicured lawn, where they sat united at a long table with Queen Anne’s lace running down the center with fairy lights illuminating from the mason jars placed alongside the sprays of floral arrangements like Demelza’s bouquet. They feasted on a menu Demelza and Connor had curated with the help of Noah, Chelsea, and their classmates at culinary school: bruschetta; garlic knots; Caprese and Italian chopped salads; roasted vegetables; spinach ravioli; vegetarian lasagna; margherita, pepperoni, and prosciutto pizzas. The red wine and assorted Italian cream sodas flowed whilst a folk band played instrumental versions of Demelza and Connor’s favorite songs in the background. The chocolate wedding cake came out along with various gelato flavors, bombolini, cannoli, and cups of cappuccinos, espressos, and lattes.

The conversation never stalled and soon everyone left the table to dance. The tempo picked up the pace in time to everyone’s movements and vibrant conversation; even Demelza’s mother and father loosened up.

Demelza and Connor took turns dancing with each other, Demelza’s parents, and their friends, getting caught up on how they were. They learned of Harper’s time in medical school and him pursuing neonatology along with Parker heading a Big Brother/Big Sister program in Pine Springs; Elliot and Robbie researching colleges and apartments together; Imogene’s time in veterinary school and her volunteer work rescuing and rehoming abused animals; Tom’s graduate studies in robotics; Danni’s journalistic work being picked up by national news wires; Amalia’s law school applications and studying for the LSAT; Abel’s acceptance of a large monetary grant giving him the opportunity to explore archaeological sites in Central and South America; Everest’s time in college, following in his father’s footsteps pursuing pediatric medicine, and the help he received from Harper regarding prerequisites and the application process for medical school; and how Lincoln embraced more artistic mediums and began taking on clients.

Demelza stepped away and approached Noah, who stood off to the side with a glass of water. He smiled as Chelsea led Luis, Sunny, Elliot, Robbie, Danni, Amalia, Abel, Everest, Connor, and his high school friends in dancing the tarantella.

“Needed a break, Marshall? I did.”

“Me too,” Noah said. “Planning and successfully carrying out a reception menu is a lot of work.” He took a sip of water and grinned even wider. His honey brown eyes were glassy, with everything he felt brimming the surface, but he was present, nonetheless. “I still tire easily. But at least I can sleep this off before working the dinner shift tomorrow.”

“You were fantastic, Noah,” Demelza told him. She threw her arm around his shoulders and said, “You’ll be in demand for all sorts of events at this rate.” She watched as Chelsea continued dancing with the other guests, her long black curls bouncing with every twirl. “You work in the kitchen at the restaurant Chelsea’s family owns?”

Noah nodded. “I don’t need to. The money from the settlement the city gave me will cover me for the rest of my life. Who knew coming back from the dead, having a kidnapping cover story, a selfish mom, a dad who decided to show up out of nowhere, and the coroner botching everything for not confirming my identity with DNA four years ago could be so beneficial, right? But I like having something to do when I’m not at school. Sometimes Chelsea’s dad lets me get creative with the menu.”

Demelza noticed Noah mentioning his parents. She knew his mother had played the victim and would never acknowledge how much she had hurt her son. He had severed ties with her after realizing that she would never change. But his father had left shortly after Jane died those years ago and was never heard from again.

Until now.

"Your dad contacted you?" Demelza said. "How did that turn out?"

“He lives in Spokane and wants to reconnect, but I don't know if I want to. My dad wasn't there for me back then, so what right does he have to be in my life now?" Noah said. "I think he only got in contact with me for damage control and to make himself look good. He has another family, Demelza. Where would I fit into that?"

"You never know," Demelza responded. "I'm sure your dad has his reasons for leaving and not being around all these years. Maybe he didn't have a choice."

"It's possible," Noah said. "It wouldn't surprise me if my mom forced him to stay away after the divorce. She is the most toxic person I've ever met in my life - and that's saying a lot. It's a huge part of why I cut her off. Chelsea's parents treat me better than she ever did."

Demelza’s eyes fell on Chelsea sharing a joke with Imogene and Tom, her olive skin shining, and burgundy lips parted in a smile revealing two perfect rows of straight white teeth. "Do you think she’s the one?”

“I do,” Noah said. “I know it’s still early stages, but we’ve talked about getting married and having a family together. We’ll date longer, get through school, and get Baby Jane’s established first, though.” He paused for a moment. Tears fell from his sad eyes as his bottom lip quivered. “I wish Jane could’ve met Chelsea. She would’ve loved her.”

“Jane would be so proud of you, Noah. She wouldn’t want you to be sad. She wouldn’t want you staying stuck in the past.” Demelza hugged Noah and told him, “Keep living your best life, Marshall. You’re one of the lucky ones.”

- VI -

The dancing went past midnight. The band packed up their instruments while everyone saw Demelza and Connor off in his Camaro decorated with Just Married! bunting, balloons, flower streamers, and tin cans secured to the back. The moon was still out and the constellations still shone brightly above them.

Demelza reached for Connor’s hand in the center and interlaced her fingers with his. He smiled and squeezed her hand while he drove, the tin cans clanging against the road beneath them.

“I love you,” Connor told her. “Everything we’ve been through brought us here. It was all worth it.”

“I love you too,” Demelza replied. She kissed Connor’s hand and said, “I know you wanted to leave Westchester after everything. I feel stupid asking you this, but you’re okay with staying here?”

Connor ran his thumb over Demelza’s fingers, his hand staying clasped in hers. “You’re not stupid, Demelza. You’re the best person I know. A stupid, selfish person would’ve seen someone else’s distress and ignored it. You saw a need and answered the call. We have a home and a life in Westchester, and people helping us out with the Power. We’ll get there - and all the while, you’ll be the glue holding everyone together.”

Demelza and Connor reached a stop sign. He gave her hand another squeeze and said, “Whenever you find yourself needing a break from being the constant, come to me and I’ll take it on for a while. We have Noah, Sunny, Luis, the witches, and our friends in Pine Springs helping us too. We’re not alone in this. We’re not responsible for the world’s problems. Our children won’t be, either.”

“You always know what to tell me,” she said, thinking of the past four years they spent together: when their eyes locked on the same windy road for the first time in years; his concern upon seeing her covered in bruises and teaching her self-defense; when Connor sacrificed his own plans to help her, Stacy, and their friends after learning about the Power; the way he always put her needs ahead of his; the moments he put his life on the line for her. “You keep your word. You’re not just talk.”

“I hope not!” Connor laughed. He winked at Demelza playfully and said, “I like to think I keep my word both in and outside the bedroom.”

“Oh, stop!” Demelza exclaimed. “I know you do; and we have two weeks on the Amalfi Coast for you to have your way with me.”

They reached their destination for the next two days: a ritzy hotel with a view of the lake and mountains where they would rest before flying to Amalfi, Italy for their honeymoon. The concierge checked them in and had a valet bring their luggage to their suite. Two bottles of chilled rosé in an ice bucket with accompanying champagne glasses, a large pot of hot chamomile tea on a warmer with cream, sugar, and two teacups, a tray of various finger sandwiches, a charcuterie board, and a platter of chocolate covered strawberries with a large bouquet of yellow roses on the entry room table greeted them as they walked in.

Demelza looked at everything therein and said, “I’m stuffed. Who on earth thinks we still have room in our stomachs for all this?”

Connor held up an envelope with their names on it. “I think we both know the answer to that question.”

He opened the envelope, took out a vintage greeting card decorated with artwork of a bride and groom riding off in an old school Rolls Royce, and read:

Dear Connor and Demelza,

Congratulations on the wedding! We figured you’d enjoy these post-coital snacks.

Noah and Everest wanted to bake you a “Congrats on the wedding sex!” cake, but we (Abel and Amalia - the greatest people you’ll ever know) put our feet down. You’re welcome for us insisting on something classy. That, and we know more than enough about what you do behind closed doors.

Enjoy your honeymoon and please don’t scar the other guests the way you did us.

Love,

-Amalia, Abel, Everest, and Noah

Demelza and Connor looked at each other before falling over on top of each other in a fit of laughter.

“Oh God,” Demelza said. She pinched the bridge of her nose and lay her head atop Connor’s chest. “You don’t think Noah picked up on anything or saw us going at it when he was a ghost, do you?”

“He hasn’t said anything about it,” Connor said. “Maybe he’s blocked out the memory.” He ran a finger across Demelza’s cheekbone. “You’re beautiful.”

“You’re handsome.” Demelza reached up with her hand and began undoing Connor’s bow tie and unbuttoning his shirt. She had a lot of practice. “You want to take this to the bedroom?”

Connor nodded, grabbed her hand, and pulled her up along with him. He held her in his arms and carried her bridal style into the bedroom, where they looked forward to the rest of their lives and the future awaiting them on the horizon.

- VII -

“This was not how I imagined us spending our first wedding anniversary,” Demelza grunted. She arched her back and groaned as hot sweat seeped into her hair and hospital gown, and accumulated at her forehead before falling down her face, neck, and the rest of her body.

“You're doing great, sweetheart,” Connor soothed. He held a bowl of cold water and dipped a washcloth inside before using it to wipe Demelza’s face and neck clean. He set the bowl and washcloth down on the end table, grabbed her hand in his, and placed his other hand softly on her head. "You got this. The doctor said it won't be long now."

"That - was - forever - ago," Demelza panted. A rough contraction rippled through her body, and she cried out in pain as Connor squeezed her hand and held her close.

“Breathe through it, sweetheart,” he encouraged her. “You can do it.” He hit the call button as his eyes locked with Demelza’s, both of them realizing that their lives would soon change forever.

The pregnancy hadn’t shocked Connor and Demelza, but they weren’t expecting it either. Children were always in the cards and Demelza and Connor had an active sex life, but she was always consistent and up to date with her birth control. She had also just resumed college and wanted to wait a few years. Demelza had never considered that she was pregnant until she and Connor attended the All Hallows Eve party hosted by Sunny, Luis, and the rest of the Westchester witches. Sunny didn’t greet her and Connor as “the lovers” or “the soulmates” as they usually did, but rather as “the family.”

Demelza had made an appointment the next day and Connor came with her. He told her she could terminate if she wanted and that they could wait longer before having children. Demelza had considered it, but her gaze locked on the ultrasound screen and she saw a miniature Connor with his floppy halcyon hair and her brown eyes running happily through a meadow on a cloudless day. She couldn’t let the image in her mind go or do away with what the two of them had made together after seeing that.

Demelza’s mother and father were thrilled at the news. She had mixed feelings about it. The knowledge that they would be better grandparents to her child than they were as parents to her felt like an unhealed wound. But Demelza knew she couldn’t deprive her child the experience of knowing his grandparents; nor could she ignore their endeavors to be better and the improvements they had made, especially when Connor didn’t have any family left.

Amalia, Abel, Everest, and Lincoln weren’t surprised when Connor and Demelza had told them she was pregnant during their monthly FaceTime chat.

“The two of you were always going at it in the cabin,” Amalia had reasoned. “I can never look at or into kitchen pantries the same way again.”

“You were always so loud,” Everest had said. “I had to listen to the Relaxing Whale Sounds album on Spotify with the volume on full blast just to block you out and get myself to sleep at night.” This earned him laughter from the group and a hard, albeit affectionate slap on the shoulder from Abel.

Demelza and Connor had blushed as Abel said, “Now he can’t sleep without listening to it for at least an hour beforehand.” He grinned widely and added, “We’re excited for you! I’ll send you all the parenting books I have and help get the little one’s library started.”

Lincoln had chuckled and said, “You both were always so obvious. You’ll be amazing parents, though. I’ll block off a few days to get the nursery painted and add on any artistic touches you want.”

Noah and Chelsea, Harper and Parker, Elliot and Robbie, Danni, Imogene, and Tom had responded with enthusiasm. They got together with Sunny, Luis, the witches, Demelza’s parents, and Connor’s high school friends and threw a lakeside baby shower for her and Connor a month before her due date. Noah and Chelsea had planned the menu again with fresh fruit cups, Greek salad, saffron rice, fresh hummus and bean dips with homemade pita bread, Mediterranean chicken kabobs, falafel pitas, baklava, lemon cake, and non-caffeinated sweet iced tea.

Amalia and Lincoln also celebrated with them. He had flown in from Las Vegas on the same day she drove down from Portland on her way to California before starting law school at Stanford University. She had sorted through all the gifts, clothes, and supplies Demelza and Connor had received, and organized the parenting guides, children’s books, and presents Abel and Everest sent over. Abel was busy preparing for his first big archaeological dig in the Patagonian region and Everest was occupied with summer classes, but they had sent their love. Lincoln had painted the nursery, and helped Connor and Noah with moving and arranging the baby furniture Connor had built.

Everything was ready yet Demelza felt far away from it all. The doctor and three nurses came in and began preparing for the delivery, and she found herself wanting to turn back time.

“Connor, I’m scared,” she admitted amidst the flurry of nurses getting her into position. “This happened so fast. What if I’m bad at this parenting thing? What if I end up hurting him?”

“Demelza, look at me,” Connor told her. He pressed his forehead to hers and said, “You’re an amazing mom and you'll keep getting better with time. You being worried about messing things up when our son isn’t even here yet shows how much you love him already.” He kissed her on both cheeks, laced his fingers with hers, and said, “I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere.”

The doctor looked up from the foot of the bed and said, “Someone’s ready to make his debut. We can have him out with five pushes if you’ll bear down in three, two, one…”

Demelza pushed, and felt her hand tighten in Connor’s grasp. She accidentally bit her tongue and tasted blood while the coppery scent wafted past her nostrils and made her feel lightheaded. Connor squeezed her hand harder, which brought her back into focus.

Demelza pushed a second time and sensed more people entering the room; but when she looked, it was just Connor, the doctor, and nurses until a familiar voice like honey on the rock pierced the air.

“This kid is going to be so lucky growing up knowing from the beginning that it’s okay to be different; and with you taking him to see Sunny, Luis, and the rest of the witch coven all the time.”

Ava. She smiled and had a casual, edgy elegance about her even in death that Demelza could never hope to achieve in life. She said, “Have Luis teach the kid how to make fire with his fingertips. That’ll come in handy when he gets older.”

“That is completely irresponsible, Ava.”

Lucas. He gave Ava a long, serious look like a professor reprimanding an irresponsible student before turning to Demelza. Ava rolled her eyes but grinned at him and Demelza before taking off. Lucas relaxed his stare as a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth and traveled upward before meeting his eyes.

“Demelza, please teach your child the proper fire safety protocols and how to use a fire extinguisher,” he advised. “The last thing Westchester needs after the past few years are roaring fires everywhere. Really though, your child is so lucky to have you as his mother.”

Dan came into view next. His countenance was a light upon Demelza and she felt his grin illuminate the space around her. “Your son is already loved by so many people he has yet to meet. I know you won’t let him forget that.”

“Of course she won’t.”

Andy. He stood tall and was at peace with himself. “Demelza, you’re going to love and accept your child for who they are, just like you did with me.”

“And me.”

Lily. She looked calm and content with herself and her surroundings and possessed a security about herself she never had before. “You always looked out for me and anyone who needed it. You still do. I know your son will follow in your footsteps and do the same.”

Demelza pushed for the third time and locked eyes with Stacy. She was radiant and full of confidence. “Keep going! You’re almost there!” she exclaimed. “I’ll always be looking after my nephew even when you can’t see me. Make sure he knows how much his Aunt Stacy loves him, okay?”

Demelza nodded as the doctor said, “I see the baby’s head.” She looked up, turned her attention towards Connor, and added, “He takes after his dad with all that blond hair.”

Connor let a joyous laugh escape from his lips and looked at Demelza with tears brimming the surface of his eyelashes. “Did you hear that, sweetheart? Our son has the same hair as me!”

“I knew he would,” Demelza wheezed. She leaned back and recentered her focus as Connor released his grip on her and wiped the sweat off her face and neck again. He kissed her forehead and gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze before taking hold of her hand once more.

The doctor looked at Demelza and said, “We should be able to have him out with two more pushes. Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Demelza leaned into herself, and felt her body contort into something she didn’t know as she pushed for the fourth time. “I'm tired,” she whispered to herself. "I don't think I can do this anymore.”

“Yes, you can.”

Jane.

Demelza still never fully captured what Jane had looked and sounded like in the void, or fully grasped who she would’ve been, had she not died. Yet Jane stood next to her with a commanding presence, unwavering gaze, long auburn waves, and the same pale brown eyes as her twin brother that she knew so well.

“Keep your eye on the horizon,” Jane said. “Just like you did when you looked inside yourself and saved Noah. Just like you will when your son grows up and needs help navigating the path ahead.” She paused, as though listening for something at the door. “I need to go. You have one more visitor.”

“Wait! Please don’t leave!” Demelza whimpered. “I just got you back.” She felt Jane’s presence diminish as her body took control of each extremity and bent them into something unrecognizable. She sensed someone new standing next to her and moaned. “Please… help me… whoever you are.”

A familiar, deadpan voice surrounded her. “You know, whenever I found myself feeling tired during cross country or track practice, my coach would always tell me to push through it; just like you’re doing now.”

Demelza blinked and found herself facing Jocelyn. Her left eye was restored, and her face no longer bore the deep, dark gashes from Power-controlled monsters. Jocelyn looked older and more mature, like she had fully grown into her facial features. She wore her long brown hair pulled back with a tortoise shell clip, which emphasized her angular bone structure and the distinctive contours of her face. Demelza never realized how striking Jocelyn truly was; then again, she had never bothered to look, let alone see.

“You’ve been hearing that a lot though,” Jocelyn said. “You’re probably sick of it. My coach would also tell me to pick my knees up so I could run faster and get to the finish line quicker; but I don’t think you can do that right now.” She gave Demelza a sharp look and said, “I don’t know what you’re freaking out about. Nobody’s ever really ready to become a parent, you know? Those parenting books from Indiana Jones can only help so much. It’s all about what you do or don’t do, and honestly? You and Breakfast Club already love the hell out of your kid. Everyone’s just frothing at the mouth to make you both Parents of the Year.”

“Gee, thanks,” Demelza grumbled sarcastically. “What’s your point?”

Jocelyn stared at her and said, “Just do it! Like the Nike commercials! They told me to buy their running shoes, so I did.”

“Oh, Jocelyn.”

“You know what I mean!” she snapped. “When it’s your kid, you just have to dive right in and accept the good, bad, and ugly of everything! It’s not about making yourself look good to other people or molding your kid in your image, it’s about letting him be his own person and loving him regardless!”

She hesitated for a moment and added, “I think you and Connor will be good parents, Demelza. I know you’ll both love your kid no matter what… you won’t force him to be someone he’s not… the way my parents did to me. But I’m grateful you helped them get closure. Thanks for doing that.”

“You’re welcome, Joss.” Demelza coughed and felt an intense pain course through her. She knew it was time for that fifth and final push.

Jocelyn noticed the change in Demelza and said, “I’ll help see you through this last stretch. Do what the doctor tells you.”

She nodded and pushed at the doctor’s instruction. She felt Jocelyn leave just as her son slid through one limb at a time and finally entered the world.

“He’s here!” the doctor said, exhilarated. She held him up for Demelza and Connor to see. “The time of birth is 3:49 in the afternoon!”

Connor threw his arms around Demelza as their son cried in the background, making his presence known. “You did it, sweetheart! You were wonderful!” He kissed Demelza, set her gently back against the bed, and tucked her hair back. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Demelza said, placing a hand on Connor’s cheek. “I couldn’t have done this without you.” Her eyes found the station in the back, where two of the nurses cleaned the baby, took his measurements, and checked his vitals. She saw his head full of blond hair and noticed he had long arms and legs, big feet, and large hands for a newborn. “Go check on him,” she told Connor.

Connor nodded and gave her another kiss before taking off. She lay still and took deep breaths in through her nose and out through mouth as the doctor cleaned her up. The third nurse switched out her pillow, lowered the front of her hospital gown, and wiped her hair and skin down with fresh water before cleaning the foot of the bed.

Demelza watched while Connor cut the umbilical cord with jittery hands. His eyes were luminous and smile so wide she thought his face would split in half. Then the nurses wrapped the baby in a soft blue blanket and placed him in Connor’s arms. His expression changed to one of awe and reverence as he held his son for the first time.

Demelza knew Connor became a new person at that moment. A whole new level of healing was underway. The cracks engraved deep inside Connor would never disappear or restore what was lost. But the baby filled those crevices with gold and brought back a sense of peace Connor had spent years yearning for.

Demelza’s eyes met Connor’s as he walked over and placed the baby directly on her chest. His skin met hers as she put her hands on his back, inhaling his sweet newborn scent. She felt the gold flow through her veins and noticed how weightless her son felt upon her.

“Hi,” Demelza said. “I’m your mom. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

He made eye contact with Demelza and yawned before burrowing into her. He fell asleep with one hand resting on her shoulder and the other one next to her collarbone.

Connor wrapped his arms around both her and their son. He kissed her on the side of her head and said, “The nurses told me our son will be big and tall when he grows up. I can’t wrap my brain around that. It was the strangest thing. I held him and felt as though I was holding a bag of feathers.”

Demelza thought of the poem Jocelyn had written down on notebook paper and once used as a bookmark. It still sat in Demelza’s wallet and the memory of finding it felt as though it had happened a lifetime ago.

Now it manifested in the part of her soul that lived and breathed outside her body and kept her warm all the same.

Hope.

- VIII -

Demelza and Connor found themselves in their own hospital room a few hours later. She felt refreshed from showering and wore a long and loose nursing top, a pair of Connor’s well-worn plaid pajama pants, and fuzzy red socks. She held their son and laid against Connor on the hospital bed with the clean, crisp sheets, comforter, and pillows he insisted on bringing from home. Connor had also showered and changed into sweatpants, an old Portland Trail Blazers shirt, and socks that matched Demelza’s. He reached over and stroked their son’s forehead, nose, and both cheeks with a gentle finger before letting him take hold of it in his newborn grasp.

“He has your eyes,” Connor said. “It’s hard to tell right now, but I can’t wait to see you in them when he’s older.”

“He looks like you,” Demelza said. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.” She smiled at the baby and said, “We love you, little guy. We’re so excited to be your mom and dad.”

“The little guy needs a name. We can’t keep calling him that for the rest of his life and the hospital won’t discharge us until we fill out the birth certificate.”

Demelza nodded and thought of the world her son was just born into. It contained pockets of natural beauty, histories older than time itself, hidden discoveries, and untold stories. Yet the world had withstood endless abuse, witnessed countless evils, and wasn’t immune from corruption or those who would use the gifts bestowed upon them to hurt others.

Her son didn’t come into a world where he would have to worry about the Power hurting those he loved the way she and Connor once did.

Rather, he came into one that possessed a fragile, delicate hope, yet offered a new way forward whilst still carrying the wisdom of the past.

Demelza thought of those who had passed on, and how they returned to lift her up and provide her with the strength she needed to deliver him.

She knew what the perfect name would be.

“How about Atlas?” Demelza suggested. “It’s a book of maps that holds the past, present, the way ahead, and hope for the future.” Her gaze turned from her son, to Connor, and back again. “Atlas Connor Green. His middle name will be for you.”

Connor smiled before releasing his finger from Atlas’ grip and retrieving his phone from the end table. He spent a few minutes scrolling and turned the screen towards her. He had pulled up a baby names website that listed the meaning and origin of their son’s new name: bearer of the heavens, from Greek mythology.

“It’s perfect,” Connor said. He set his phone down and ran a soft hand through Atlas’ hair. A far off, wistful look came over his face. “Atlas came into this world with heaven at his back. They were all there - my sister, Jocelyn, everyone we’ve lost - they all came together to bring him here to us.”

“I know,” Demelza said. “I’ll never forget them; and we’ll make sure Atlas knows them too.”

Connor bent down and kissed Atlas atop his head before resting his lips on Demelza’s. “Happy anniversary sweetheart,” he told her. “I have so many reasons why I’ll never forget this day.”

“Happy anniversary, love,” Demelza replied. She smiled down upon their new son.

“Happy birthday, Atlas. Welcome to the world, to this place with feathers.”

[zitot3]

Hello [redacted],

I hope this message has reached you well. I am Joel [redacted]'s school counsellor and I am contacting you on behalf of [redacted] with concerns in regards to this student as I have deemed him too high needs for our school, and I am formally appealing for his removal. This has been under careful consideration over the past year as we have exhausted our current available resources.

The student's parents are seemingly unable or unwilling to manage his behaviors at home, as a young unemployed single mother and a father who is no longer in the picture, thus we cannot take on this burden as an institute without sacrificing the needs of our other children.

We have suggested on multiple occasions that the student get tested for Oppositional Defiance Disorder due to his difficult conduct with authority figures, as outlined in the incident reports we reviewed in meeting last month, but no attempt has been made to facilitate this as of yet. Effort has ceased in assisting the student.

I have attached a partial copy of notes from the student's care plan. These are confidential student records and any identifying information must be removed if shared to a third party. [Redacted] has copies of the student's complete file, she would be the one to contact if you need more information while I am on leave. Additionally I give my permission to forward the contents of this email with higher ups in the district.

Thank you for considering our position and aiding in the removal process of the student.

Signed, [Redacted]

Joel [REDACTED] - (yr. 4)

Nov. 15/01: many concerns have arisen with respect to Joel [redacted]'s behaviors and mannerisms in school this year; he hides, has a hard time making eye contact, sucks compulsively on various objects, makes unusual sounds, and wets his pants whenever he is upset or worried; Joel's mother has said to [redacted] that Joel often wets his pants when he is disciplined by his father.

[redacted] - Joel's mother is concerned about the behavioral choices that her son is making and has approached [redacted] asking for help; [redacted] suggested Barbara Coloroso tapes to help with parenting issues, as well as the [redacted] program ([redacted]) for counselling: Joel's mother has subsequently contacted the [redacted] office to get some support.

Dec. 6/01: [a large section of this document has been redacted for reasons of privacy and safety regarding other students] serious concern was also raised about the fact that it was Joel encouraging [redacted] to play a game he had termed "Choking [redacted]" outlined above; this is only another in a long line of concerns about the health and well-being of this little boy; [the rest of this document has been redacted]

Feb. 7/02: [redacted], the mother of Joel [redacted] has informed the school that she and her husband are splitting up, but that they are still living as a family under one roof with a great deal of tension; she and the two children may be moving to [redacted]'s parents' house; she requested that [redacted] touch base with Joel at school on a regular basis to help him cope with the transition to a new family situation.

Feb. 21/02: a meeting was recently held with the mother of Joel [redacted] to discuss Joel's significant emotional distress in the wake of a recent marital break-up between his two parents.

June 6/02: Joel [redacted]'s behaviors are intensifying due to difficult family issues; he is very artistic and it was suggested that he might benefit from some art therapy to help him to deal with and express his feelings.

Oct. 3/02: Joel [redacted] continues to act out in significant ways (ie. wetting pants, hiding under desk, etc.); the team expressed on-going concern about Joel's emotional well-being, and are hoping to better understand what triggers these behaviors; [redacted] (Behavior support worker) will take some time to observe him and give us some insights.

Oct. 17/02: [redacted] has been in as much as she can to observe the behavior of Joel [redacted]; some of his behavior appears to be based on a need for power and control; he also has been observed as frequently "spacing out"

June 19/03: Joel has shown improvement through the year: he should be watched closely next year.

[batri-jopa]

Welcome to another one of #my ATWD issues

(that means: me overthinking the movie And Then We Danced/ და ჩვენ ვიცეკვეთ, 2019, dir. Levan Akin)

This one been provoked by my talk with @notasapleasure (and with my short ATWD fanfic)

For long time I tried to analyse the moment in the studio with Merab and Irakli practicing together for the first time. I could not stop thinking why did Merab reacted to somebody's kindness the way he did but even more - I could not quite understand Irakli's response: wouldn't it be natural after getting the harsh reply, that clearly mind-your-own-bussiness message for Irakli to feel hurt, offended or anything like that and not... smiling? Just as if he understood some kind of a joke that we've all missed...

So first of all I think Merabi learned throughout his life so far that every talk with another guy (especially when it's about dancing) was an opportunity to compete - to the point it sounds quite ridiculous sometimes... You can hear it in the studio (when he says "I dance since I can walk") as well as later in Irakli's room (speaking about audition in such a manner as if he really was so sure of his own victory over Irakli). At times like this I think Merab was forever a little boy, trained to always play tough and to prove his worth to his brother and older mates at any given occassion. Although he's trying so much it sometimes looks as if he was just a small, nimble kitten who flexed and strutted to look bigger - and all he can ever manage is to look cute...

Now I can imagine Irakli might have met boys much younger that him behaving in a very similar way - maybe among his friends, maybe some little cousin, maybe a little girl? It is possible that he even have a talk about it with someone already: like older cousins being parents and discussing their kids behaviour, or some friend describing how their much younger sibling is always trying to show they can do everything just as good as the big brother does, or maybe some older person speaking about how one of the adults was like this years ago...

I guess it's highly probable Irakli had a lot of meetings like this in his life for Georgians have big families and often gathering to eat and talk with younger relatives as well as with the older ones (we in Poland do that too, though not that often anymore, like my mom's family is much bigger than the average one and we meet in a wider company 2 or 3 times a year). It also kind of explains the way Irakli treats his Granny - I guess such care and patience toward repetitive and memory losing old ladies is not so common among guys in his age in western Europe. But Irakli is naturally used to cooperate and care for elder people as well as for younger ones.

And above it all - he also is just a person sensible enough to empathize with somebody's struggle and bear it all in mind. Maybe he even once helped some little boy / little girl to win over his/her older siblings? And felt the overhelming happines of that child's long awaited glory - making him feel joyful and satified on his behalf as if that victory was partially his own?

And what if Irakli himself were like that one day as the only child fighting for his place in the group of older boys when he was little?

And so with any exprerience like that and also being slightly older than Merab - Irakli immediately recognised that mechanism in Merabi's impolite reaction and that's why it made him feel so tenderly toward the guy instead of feeling hurt or offended. He saw the ambitious little boy who can't get to be appreciated but never gave up trying.

Now it may sound ridiculous to some of you but maybe that's exactly what set Irakli's attention at Merab in the first place: it kind of switched on his protectivness and the wish to help that little boy prove his worth. And I do not mean any feeling "older and superior" - I mean the empathetic feeling "I am like you, I feel you and I sincerely want you to feel better"

I think even the first tender smile Irakli gives to Merab (barely knowing anything about him yet, mind you!) might be revealing that Merab reminded him of someone. Someone he already knew and who's memory automatically evoked a warm feeling in his heart. Only from now on every next smile like that will be because of Merab and for Merab only.

[So to all of you alloromantic and allosexual ppl that scene was probably just an obvious "love at first sight" with no need for further digging. But I am AroAce so I am here to search for the obvious and find the unexpected🤷]

Now let's get back to Merab:

He is a younger brother and yes it matters as his personality trait.

I am a younger sibling myself though I'm sure the rivarly between brother and sister is nothing compared to two brothers. For Merab it's the neverending proving that he's not any worse than Davit. Especially as he constantly have to hear the opposite:

So there's that one particular day when in the morning he gets replaced in a dance duo (because apparently after a year of practicing he was not as good as guy who just arrived to the town),

then in the afternoon he has to listen to his own dad telling him that no matter if he practice dancing all days long he'll still be worse than his lazy brother (could have avoided hearing that if not trying to sacrifice himself for the family visiting Ioseb to get some money for electric bill...)

and if that still did not make him feel like a shit: after he finally returns home in the evening - who becomes the hero of the day? Why of course, the drunkard carefree Davit!

It was not until Irakli that Merabi meet anyone to whom he would not need to constantly prove his worth. Yes, there was Mari - but no matter all the sympathy and understanding she has for Merab - as a young Georgian boy he'd also been taught to always prove masculinity to her simply because she was a girl...

So Irakli is the first person Merabi do not need to prove anything. The first person looking at him like there was nobody else in the world worth his attention more. And once Irakli can't hide his drunken style adoration - Merab is so visibly confused for suddently getting all of that attention he was never used to get! In the studio he reacted automatically as always when he was competed. But then by the door of his own bathroom it clearly was not the case and now he has no idea of how to proceed under these new "non competetive" circumstances...

I mean Merab looks as if he'd gladly hide behind a cow if only he had one on his own 😆

(Sorry, I had to finally compare Merabi with Hava from Fiddler on The Roof, I just could not stop myself any longer)

[apieters]

My last-minute partial submission for the @inklings-challenge (I forgot to tag you, I submitted it at 11:50-ish on October 21). As per the Intrusive Fantasy prompt for Team Chesterton, the story will eventually involve some fantastical elements influencing the main timeline. For now, we have to establish the weirdness:

Swashbucklers of the Magic Kingdom

Episode 2: The Storybook

Chapter 1: Early to Rise

Kopa, Prince of the Pridelands, awoke bright and early to the joyous tolling of Notre Dame cathedral’s bells as the first rays of light streamed through the window of the small room where he and his parents’ two fencing masters, the tyrannosaur Chris Carnovo and the young man André Caron, had spent the night. The lion cub was always up with the sun—daylight meant playtime, and he wasn’t about to waste a second in bed when the world offered such excitement.

Yesterday had certainly been exciting, though not necessarily as fun as he’d hoped. First, his parents sent him to spend a week in New Orleans Square living with the Pridelands Shakespeare Company’s fight choreographers, completely out of the blue. Then, he’d snapped the spout off a barrel of root beer and André had chased him out into the streets, sword in hand. Finally, he’d almost been arrested just outside the cathedral, only to be saved at the last minute by Chris and André, who had apologized for what he’d done. The three had decided to spend the night at the cathedral, since Chris and André attended Mass there every week anyway, and today was Sunday.

Kopa remembered meeting Quasimodo, the Hunchback of Notre Dame himself, last night too. Almost soon as he had finished talking to his dad on the phone, the hunchback bell-ringer bounded into the sanctuary, crying, “Sir André! Sir André!” He acknowledged no one else, immediately wrapping his great arms around the black-clad fencing master and spinning him around.

“Quasimodo,” André said, not unkindly, “how many times do I have to tell you, I’m not a Knight?”

“To me, you are Roland himself!” Quasimodo cried, and only then put the young man down and turned to greet Chris, then Kopa. Kopa had been intrigued—obviously, there was a story behind the hunchback’s strange reception, but he thought that for now, it was probably best to let it remain a mystery.

Still, the fact that Quasimodo called André a Knight intrigued Kopa to no end. To be a Knight of the Magic Kingdom was the highest position of honor in the entire realm, superseded only by being Royalty or a Friend of Good King Walt himself. To become a Knight, one had to perform a great deed or service, usually at the risk of one’s life, for a member of the Royalty of the Magic Kingdom—a King, Queen, Princess or Prince—or on behalf of a whole district or principality of the Magic Kingdom, in order to protect their patron’s life or honor, and then be dubbed by a member of the Royalty. For such distinctions, they are awarded the right to be called “Sir,” and their deeds are written, remembered and retold. Kopa had been heartbroken to learn that as a Prince, he could never become a Knight of the Magic Kingdom, and it had taken a talk with his dad at the top of Pride Rock, showing him his future kingdom in all its splendor, to console him.

Were Chris and André Knights of the Magic Kingdom? Kopa had asked before bed the night before. Chris’s usual smile faded, and André himself turned away.

“No,” they had said, almost in unison.

“Then why did Quasimodo call you ‘Sir?’” Kopa asked. “Isn’t that something only Knights are called?”

“It’s a nickname,” André said, then turned over and faced the wall, trying to fall asleep.

Kopa turned to Chris. “I never earned the honor,” Chris said, and said no more before falling asleep.

Despite the rough and strange beginning, though, Kopa had quickly decided that he liked the two fencing masters and greeted the new day with fresh enthusiasm, ready to face the world and all its delights with the two swordsmen—

Who were still asleep.

Chris was snoring lightly, curled up in a tight ball with his long, powerful tail wrapped around him, which Andre had been using as a pillow. The young man looked as stern in sleep as he did awake, but he was, nonetheless sleeping quite peacefully.

Kopa frowned. Why did grown-ups like sleeping in so much? He promised himself that when he grew up to become King, he’d pass a law ordering everyone to get up as early as he did. But that was going to be a long time yet, so he looked around for something to do. The room was pretty empty, except for a small bed. He slowly crept to the door, opened it quietly, and decided to go exploring–as long as he didn’t touch anything, he should be fine.

The lion cub hopped down the narrow, winding staircase, barely able to see even with his better feline vision. The stairway opened up onto a floor full of stained glass windows on one side and a row of low bookshelves on the other. Kopa took a moment to look at the stained glass windows. There were four of them, each one holding a book with a pen, and each with an animal or other kind of companion–one had an angel, another had a lion, one an ox, and another an eagle. Kopa was intrigued by the figure with the lion. He stared at the window for a moment before realizing that something was odd–the pen was not made of painted stained glass, like the others. It was just regular glass. Kopa tried to look through it, but a sunbeam struck him in the eye and he had to blink and look away.

Kopa looked at the books instead. They were old, but not necessarily dusty, leather books. Kopa opened one and saw one of those medieval-style books with the big fancy letters on one page. He took down another, and found yet another illuminated manuscript. He tried to read it, but it was in another language that he couldn’t speak.

So much for finding something to do.

Kopa stepped back, wondering what he was going to do, when he noticed that the sunbeam produced an outline of a pen on the bookcase, with the tip resting on one book in particular. Kopa wondered if there was something special about this book. He took it down off the shelf and openned it…

Chapter 2: A Strange New World

“What? What’s going on?” Kopa thought to himself. He was suddenly outside the cathedral, standing in the rain. Well, he was and he wasn’t. Kopa was sure he was inside the cathedral, with a book–in fact, if he thought about it, and not even that hard, he could see, as if having a really vivid dream or daydream, the hall of bookshelves in the cathedral, his paw resting on the pages of an open book.

He looked down at his paws–and saw that he didn’t have paw’s anymore! He saw human hands. He ran over to a rain puddle–while still daydreaming that he was sitting still, in front of a book–and saw a human face, with mop of brown hair plastered on his brow, soaked by the rain, with a tan doublet and a brown cape. He touched his face, which he could see in the puddle and feel with his human hands was a human face, not a lion’s muzzle.

What was this book?

What was going on?

What was real? Both the rain and the book, his human face and lion face, felt real, although he had to focus on the room of bookshelves in order to be aware of it. He shifted his focus and looked around in the rainy world–he saw a piece of cloth in the puddle. Curious, he picked it up. It was a handkerchief, plain but well-made, with little crescent moons and stars embroidered on it. He picked it up to examine it more closely.

Suddenly, voices caught his ears. “You there! Halt! You’re under arrest!”

Kopa was suddenly focused on the world with the rain and the puddle. He saw two soldiers running toward him. Panicking, he looked around and saw the cathedral looming before him. He ran to the door and started pounding. “Sanctuary!” Kopa called, pounding on the door with his paws. “Sanctuary! Please! Sanctuary!”

“You there!” the one of the guards barked. “Halt!” They ran over to the doors of the church. Kopa saw that one of them was taller, the other shorter. The tall one had a large, pointed chin and a large mustache, and looked down at Kopa with beady eyes and a brutish frown. His partner was short, round of body and face with a dull, oafish expression. Kopa pounded harder, crying out for sanctuary as the guards grabbed him by the collar and held him aloft.

The tall guard, who held him, spoke up. “Who are you? What are you doing here?”

“I’m Charles,” the cub answered, trying to sound confident, then stopped. Charles? His name wasn’t Charles. He had been trying to say “Kopa.” “Prince Charles, the Dauphin.” Kopa tried again. “My father is King Louis.” Why was “Louis” coming out of his mouth. He had clearly said “Simba.” That’s at least what he was thinking. Still, whatever his name was in this world–Kopa, Charles, whatever–he was still a prince. He hoped that by asserting his title, they would treat him with some respect. The guards didn’t seem impressed.

“You’re a long way from home, boy,” the round-faced guard said.

“I—I was just visiting—” Charles explained.

“A likely story,” the tall guard sneered. “Troublemaker, I see! And a trespasser, to boot!”

“What?” Charles gasped. “No, my parents left me with—”

“Trying to get rid of you, eh?” the tall guard. “So would I. Olivier,” he said, turning to the short guard, “what do we do to trespassers and vagabonds?”

Olivier smiled a sneering, unsettling smile with his thick, rubbery lips. “We arrest them and chain them up in the Palace of Justice.”

Charles gasped. “What! No! Please! I didn’t do anything wrong!” He tried to squirm out of the guards’ grasp, but the tall guard was much stronger than him.

“Haha, it’s cute when they squirm,” Olivier said. “I’ll get the chains ready.”

Charles started whimpering nervously as Olivier pulled out a heavy set of chains. He couldn’t believe it—he was actually going to jail! And not just any jail—the Palace of Justice! He used to read scary stories about the things that happened there, but he could only read them in the morning or the middle of the day, when he wasn’t about to go to bed. Now, there was no putting down the book.

Olivier was just about to clamp the chains on Charles’s wrists when the door of the cathedral swung open and an old man in white and red robes opened the door. He had a kindly, gentle face, but when he saw what was happening, his face hardened.

“Bertrand, Olivier, what’s going on?” the old man demanded.

“Sanctuary!” Charles cried, “Please! Sanctuary!”

“You heard the boy,” the old man said sternly. “He has claimed sanctuary. Let him go and I will take him inside.”

“No way, Archdeacon,” Bertrand said. “He didn’t make it inside before we got to him, and you were not fast enough to let him in. He comes with us.”

“You blasphemous demoniacs!” The Archdeacon thundered. “Is it not enough that you have been excommunicated from fellowship with the Almighty God, that you heap greater judgements on yourselves? Unhand the boy now, in the name of—”

Olivier pushed the Archdeacon, back into the cathedral. “Quit yelling, old man,” he said, “your sermons don’t scare me anymore.”

Charles started to cry as Olivier reached for his cuffs again, but then everyone froze when they heard voices.

“Charles? Charles!” The voices sounded familiar.

Charles wiped his eyes and peered through the pouring rain to see two figures. One was a tall man, not very old, with black hair, wearing a blue cloak and an eyepatch over his right eye. The other man had shaggy brown hair, dark clothing, and a dark cloak. Both carried swords–one had a longer, thinner sword with rings to protect his fingers, while the other carried a hand-and-a-half sword.

Kopa was surprised to realize that he could recall their names–Sir Christophe and Sir André–

Wait a minute–if he was transformed into a human, then that meant that Sir Christophe was really Chris as a human. And since André was already a human, he stayed human. As they rushed forward, Kopa looked at the man in black and recognized him as André–or at least, this world’s version of André.

“Here!” Charles shouted before he could stop himself. He suddenly realized what he’d done. He was caught between the French town guards and the two swordsmen who hated him and had finally hunted him down. Kopa tried to remember why the two knights were mad at him. He tried to think, wondering if there was a hint when he tried to think about the book in the cathedral, where he was still a lion. Nothing seemed different, but he did suddenly have memories of a wine barrel spilling and Sir André swinging a sword…Charles struggled even more—the only safe place was the cathedral, just feet away. He squirmed and clawed at Bertrand, even more desperate to get free.

Sir Christophe and Sir André drew their swords. “Brute! Oaf!” Sir Christophe shouted. “Let the boy go! Now.”

Charles felt Bertrand’s hand tremble as he drew his sword, and saw Olivier clumsily fumbling for his. They were completely focused on the two approaching swordsmen. “You can pry him out of my cold, dead fingers,” Bertrand said, trying and failing to mask his now evident fear.

“Your conditions are acceptable,” Sir André snarled. He and Sir Christophe charged the two soldiers just as the bells of Notre Dame began to ring again.

Sir André, meanwhile, had parried the first cut Bertrand had thrown and grabbed his wrist, wrenching his arm around and slamming him into the doors. Bertrand dropped Charles, who landed on his feet and bolted into the cathedral just as Sir André grabbed Bertrand by the throat and lifted him, kicking and wheezing into the air…

The rest of the scene unfold exactly as Kopa remembered in the world where he was a lion–he confessed to the Archdeacon, and then Sir André came in and apologized for his conduct, swearing his loyalty to his liege lord, the Dauphin.

Suddenly Kopa found himself back in the real world–at least, that’s what he decided to call the world where he was a lion. He was in the room with the bookshelves. He looked down, and saw lion’s paws; he felt his face and felt a lion’s muzzle, where it should have been.

He looked down at the book. The page where it was open was blank. Kopa cocked and eyebrow. He distinctly remembered words on the page. He looked around. Nobody seemed to have seen him. He gingerly pinched the cover of the book with his claw and closed it.

“Kopa? Kopa?” Kopa heard Chris’s voice somewhere in the distance.

Kopa quickly stashed the book back in the bookcase. “I’m here!” he called, heading back to the stairwell, where he met Chris and André in the doorway.

“What were you doing?” André asked.

“I was just exploring,” Kopa said. Technically, that’s what he’d been doing when he’d found the room with the magic book. He wasn’t lying to them.

“Well, try not to wander off so far,” Chris said. “We’re supposed to be looking out for you.”

“Sorry,” Kopa said.

“It’s alright,” Chris said. “But let’s head downstairs. I think there’s someone who wants to see you.”

[helpsinglemothers]

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By exploring available rent assistance options, single mothers can take significant steps toward securing safe and affordable housing without adding unnecessary stress during challenging times.

Overview of Rent Assistance Programs

Rent assistance programs are designed to help individuals and families facing financial difficulties. For single mothers, these programs can be a lifeline, ensuring that they have a roof over their heads while managing the challenges of parenting alone. Various government initiatives and local organizations offer support tailored to different needs.

Many rent assistance options provide financial aid directly to landlords or property managers on behalf of tenants. This helps prevent eviction and keeps families stable in their homes. Programs may cover partial or full rent payments depending on individual circumstances.

Some states also offer emergency rental assistance for those experiencing sudden hardships—like job loss or medical emergencies. These funds often come with quick application processes to address urgent situations effectively.

Additionally, nonprofit organizations frequently collaborate with government agencies to expand resources available for single mothers. By combining efforts, they create comprehensive support networks that include not only housing stability but also additional services like job training and childcare resources.

Eligibility Criteria for Single Mothers

Eligibility for rent assistance programs varies, but there are common criteria that single mothers should be aware of. Many programs require applicants to demonstrate financial need. This often means proving a low income or facing significant expenses related to housing and childcare.

Age and residency can also play crucial roles. Most programs are designed for adults over 18 who live in the area where they seek assistance. Additionally, documentation may be required to verify your status as a single mother, such as birth certificates or custody agreements.

Some programs prioritize households with children under a certain age, typically under 18 years old. Others may have specific requirements regarding employment status or participation in job training programs.

It's essential to research local resources since eligibility can differ significantly between states and municipalities. Gathering necessary documents ahead of time will streamline the application process and increase your chances of securing assistance.

Application Process for Rent Assistance

The application process for rent assistance can vary by program and location, but it generally follows some common steps. First, gather all necessary documents such as proof of income, identification, and rental agreements. Having these ready will streamline your application.

Next, check with local or state agencies to find available programs specifically targeting single mothers. Many organizations have their own websites where you can find detailed information about eligibility requirements and the types of assistance offered.

Once you've identified a suitable program, fill out the application form carefully. Be honest and thorough in your responses to avoid delays in processing. Some programs may require an interview or additional paperwork.

After submitting your application, keep track of its status by following up with the agency or organization handling it. This proactive approach ensures you stay informed about any required actions on your part.

Additional Resources and Support for Single Mothers

Single mothers often navigate a complex landscape of responsibilities and challenges. Fortunately, various resources can provide much-needed support. Local non-profit organizations frequently offer assistance tailored specifically for single parents, including financial aid and counseling services.

Community centers are another great option. They often host workshops that cover essential life skills such as budgeting or job searching. These sessions can empower single mothers to gain confidence in managing their finances and careers.

Online platforms also play a vital role in connecting single mothers with support networks across the country. Websites dedicated to parenthood feature forums where individuals share experiences, advice, and emotional support.

Government programs further enhance resources available to single moms. Food assistance, childcare subsidies, and healthcare options help ease daily burdens while allowing them to focus on creating a stable environment for their children.

conclusion

Navigating rent assistance can feel overwhelming for single mothers. However, knowing your options provides a sense of empowerment. Various programs exist to offer financial support and alleviate some of the burdens associated with housing costs.

Understanding eligibility criteria is essential. Each program has specific requirements that can affect whether you qualify for assistance. Take the time to research what best suits your situation.

The application process may seem daunting, but careful preparation makes it manageable. Gather necessary documents ahead of time, and don’t hesitate to seek help from local organizations or community resources.

Support doesn’t stop at rent assistance. There are numerous additional resources available focused on empowering single mothers in various aspects of life—be it childcare, education, or employment opportunities. Explore these avenues as they can significantly impact your journey toward stability and independence.

FAQs

Navigating the world of rent assistance can be daunting, especially for single mothers who often face unique challenges. Understanding your options is the first step toward securing financial stability.

Many programs cater specifically to single mothers, offering various forms of support including financial aid and housing resources. The key is to explore all available avenues and determine which programs best fit your circumstances.

Here are some commonly asked questions that might help clarify any uncertainties you may have:

**What types of rent assistance are available for single mothers?**

There are several types of assistance, including federal programs like Section 8 vouchers, state-funded initiatives, and local charity organizations that provide emergency funds or temporary housing solutions.

**How do I know if I'm eligible for rent assistance?**

Eligibility varies by program but generally considers factors such as income level, family size, and current living situation. Most programs prioritize low-income families with children.

**Can I apply for multiple rental assistance programs at once?**

Yes, applying for multiple programs can increase your chances of receiving help. Just ensure that you meet each program’s eligibility criteria before applying.

**How long does it take to receive rent assistance after applying?**

Processing times vary by program; some may offer immediate relief while others could take weeks or months. It’s important to follow up on your application status regularly.

By utilizing these resources effectively and understanding the processes involved in seeking out support systems tailored for single mothers, you can find a path toward a more secure living environment.

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Chronicling Way To Parenthood- Best IVF and Surrogacy Centres  - Its Costs

IVF(In Vitro Fertilization) is a process to remove eggs from  ovaries and mixed with sperm in a laboratory dish. After the process of fertilization transferring the embryo to the uterus.  IVF is recommended for those women who cannot conceive with simple infertility treatments for such reasons like – 

Unexplained Infertility

Blocked tubes

Absent tube

Endometriosis

 Surrogacy on the other hand is a method of  reproduction where a surrogate mother (a women who bears a child on behalf of another) carries the child for intended parents. An egg from the women who is unable to conceive is fertilized with her parent’s sperm and is implanted into the surrogate mothers’s uterus. A surrogate candidate should be a healthy women who doesn’t have history of uncomplicated child birth before and is capable to bear a child safely. There are different types of surrogacy on the basis of methods:

Traditional or Partial Surrogacy

Gestational Surrrogacy or Total Surrogacy

In Traditional Surrogacy the mother would be genetically related with the baby as the surrogate’s own egg will be used. 50% of the baby’s DNA will be from the  surrogate mother and the rest 50% will be from the father. As a result of this reason these method is not much opted by people.

In case of Gestational Surrogacy the eggs are extracted from the intended mother or egg donor and are mixed with sperm of the intended father or sperm donor In Vitro. The baby here doesn’t have any DNA related to the surrogate. This procedure is mostly preferred  by people comparing to Traditional Surrogacy.

Legal &Ethical Considerations

IVF : The concern in IVF is the handling of unused embryos and the involvement of fertility treatments, determining parental rights, risk of having multiple births.

Surrogacy: The process can be more complex due to involvement of  legal contracts ,ensuring surrogates consent. The legal issue with surrogacy in India includes permit to altruistic surrogacy only.

Estimated Cost of IVF & Surrogacy in India

IVF: The  IVF cost  in jamshedpur generally ranges  between ₹1,50,000- ₹2,50,000 per cycle. The cost includes the number of cycles required, medication and the additional services.

Surrogacy: The expense ranges from ₹10,00,000- ₹15,00,000. The surrogacy cost  in jamshedpur covers medical procedures included n process of surrogacy such as IVF, fees of surrogate mother, cost of legal agreement and other expenses that is associated to the procedure.

The cost breakdown of both the treatments can vary clinic to clinic, its location, how skilled the specialist and medical staffs are, the success rate and  the advancement of technology used in the centre.

Best IVF & Surrogacy centres in India

Some of the best IVF centres in India and surrogacy centres with their high success rates, advancement in treatment and skilled medical staffs are –

IVF Centres and their cost

1. Nova IVF Fertility, Mumbai

Offers fertility treatments such as IVF, IUI, ICSI, surrogacy.

IVF Cost around ₹1,30,000 per cycle.

 2. Bloom IVF Clinic, Mumbai

It  offers various fertility treatments.

IVF Cost  around ₹1,50,000 - ₹2,00,000 per cycle.

3. Max Hospital, New Delhi

The hospital offers customized IVF treatments.

IVF Cost approximately ₹1,50,000 - ₹2,50,000 per cycle.

Surrogacy Centres

1. SCI IVF Centre, Delhi

Centre known for specialization in Surrogacy with high success rates and considered as best surrogacy centre in India .

Cost of surrogacy is approximately ₹10,00,000 - ₹15,00,000

2. Akanksha Hospital and Research Institute, Anand

The centre includes advanced fertility treatments and Surrogacy.

Surrogacy cost is around ₹10,00,000 - ₹12,00,000.

3. Dr. Rita Bakshi International Fertility Centre, Delhi

Offers services such as Surrogacy and fertility treatments.

Surrogacy cost around ₹10,00,000 - ₹15,00,000

Doctor information :- 

1.Dr Rati rabra  :- MBBS, DGO, DIPLOMA IN USG and Color Doppler, FMAS, FELLOWSHIP IN INFERTILITY (IVF), MASTERS IN COSMETIC GYNECOLOGY, COSMETIC GYNECOLOGY

2. Dr P Mohana Veera Prakashini  :-MBBS, DNB in Obstetrics and Gynaecology, Bangalore. Fellowship in Radiology, Fellowship in Infertility treatment, Senior Resident at St. John’s Hospital, Consultant(OBG) at Apollo Cradle, Consultant (OBG) at Aishwarya Infertility Hospital, IVF Consultant - Ayushman Hospital ( Presently )

Contact Us :- 

Address:-  H. No. 133, Room No. 208, behind BSES Rajdhani Power Station, Katwaria Sarai, Delhi 110016

Phone No. :- 8448879134

Loctaion :- https://maps.app.goo.gl/3HKaHUvLAeT2aBfQ9