#and only partially because i want to go to florence

[romanoffsbish]

Cooking With Timmy

Florence Pugh x Pregnant!R

Warnings: Brief mention of loss

Florence entered your shared home with a long, drawn out sigh, it'd been a long week away, and all she wanted was a glass of wine, a decent meal, and to fall asleep holding you.

Her plans faltered though when she stumbled into the hallway and peered into the kitchen.

There she found a curious little boy on the floor with an array of seasonings, pots and pans.

"Hey guys!" He shrieked at his iPad that was recording. "Welcome back to Cooking with Flo, I'm Timmy Pugh, her fill in until she returns."

——

Florence bit back a chuckle, as well as a sob because this is the first time he'd called himself by her namesake that she'd heard. It'd been about three years since you and Flo had taken the orphaned boy in, so this was monumental.

Back then your relationship was still fresh, it'd only been a year, and though it was blissful, you'd only just said I love you to each other in a way that mattered before you got the call that changed everything. Being parents one day was a conversation you'd vaguely had with each other while drinking yourselves silly. It was believed to be a far off subject to broach when things got serious. Not on a random Tuesday.

So, when your close friend Laura was in a life ending accident, you couldn't exactly deny her final wishes that designated him to be given to the both of you. His father wasn't around, and her chaotic family wasn't an option. She clearly had faith in your relationship, you confirmed that when you found out she signed you up for parenthood before you were even a couple.

She just hadn't told you since she thought she had time, but the universe is fickle that way.

Florence and you wasted no time, you got your paperwork together, and went down to the courthouse the following morning to legally bind yourselves, it felt rushed, but even with the fear of the moment backfiring in the future it was still easy to say I do. Florence was your forever, you always knew that deep down.

With marriage came the name changes, Y/N Pugh had a ring to it, and it also offered security over the smooth custodial transition of your son, Timothy Pugh, who at the time had only just turned three when you took him in.

It was easy enough for him to trust you since he knew you well, but he still had quite a hard time. Every single day came with blow out tantrums that would put a strain on anyone. Florence was sometimes too exhausted from her long days on set to handle his episodes with kindness, so you decidedly took turns.

When she was clearly at a low energy level you'd send her to relax, then you'd scoop the boy up, and sing him a lullaby you recalled his mom would sing to him. This always worked. Because when it was your turn to be spread too thin Flo would pick up the slack. She'd put the emotional toddler on her hip, and animatedly describe to him her day as she made dinner.

Every time you'd reconvene, and the parent that couldn't handle the tantrum would take him and offer him gentleness as they got him ready for bed. He'd go down in his bed, but without fail he'd wind up between you both.

It was complicated, but with therapy, and the sweet reminders of his mother, things began to look up around his fifth birthday. Once he started grade school he was able to cycle some of his energy into recess or making friends.

Soon enough he was the happy go lucky boy you remembered him to be before he lost his mom. He'd actually been calling you mama for the last year now, you beamed the first time.

Florence however had been met with Flossie. Something he was familiar saying since he was two, so it just carried on, but it always worried her that he didn't feel comfortable calling her mom. She wondered if her work schedule made him feel less valuable, or as if she was only a guest in his home that she partially owned.

Then she heard him continue his monologue, her hazel eyes closed as a couple happy tears streamed down her face, her heart felt full.

"Mommy Flossie is really busy right now," he informed his crowd of zero. "Mama said she is working on a new movie, because she's like a superstar or something. How cool is she?!"

He paused to shake a salt shaker over a pot that was actually empty, but his mimicry of Flo's mannerisms was shockingly spot on. Especially as he lifted a wine glass of juice to his lips, Florence felt a wave of embarrassment at being so incredibly transparent to her son.

"My friend Jackson told me she's British." He frowned as he shrugged, not understanding the implications of his friends words. "But then my friend Amelia said she's actually a superhero," he relayed excitedly, "I like her idea better."

He stirred the faux contents of the pot with a wide grin that Florence admired through the recording on his screen as he rambled on.

"Spying on our son are we?" Florence jumped as you suddenly spawned behind her. She turned to face you immediately, her hands took their rightful place, one on your protruding baby bump, and the other cupped your cheek.

"He's recorded like five episodes today."

Florence deeply pouted, "I'm missing it, huh?"

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around her neck so you could pull her into a soft kiss, your baby bump slotted to the side of her body as she melted into the affection.

"One of us had to work my love," you reminded her. "Acting was always your dream, becoming a parent wasn't on your 2020 Bingo card."

"Neither was a global pandemic that forced us to move into the same house two months into our relationship if we wanted it to work. It was like the world wanted to make sure we never broke up." Florence smiled at the thought.

"Yeah, 2020 was an odd year," you teased, and kissed her smirking lips, the kiss was heatless, but passionate in its own regards. It lasted an entire minute until your sons voice cut in.

"Mama! I want to make dinner tonight."

You stared down at him with a practiced quirk of your brow. Florence watched as the two of you stared the other down until he softly sighed, "Mama, can I please help with dinner?"

"What a polite boy, thank you for offering to help and using your manners baby, but I was going to order in since this one just got home," you gently crushed your sons dreams, you couldn't help it, but you'd been craving a big mac with extra pickles and sauce all day long.

Florence shook her head though, and scooped the much bigger boy up with an ease that reminded you of her Marvel workout regimen.

"I could really use a sous chef so that Mama and your baby sister here can eat something besides Maccy's." Florence evaded your hand as it attempted to slap her in the shoulder. "We better hurry bubby, Mama seems hangry."

Timmy giggled wildly on her hip as she ran the pair of them to the kitchen. You smiled at the scene as it unfolded before you with a hand on your bump. Rubbing it fondly as you saw the wonderful mom your wife was that she herself didn't exactly see. Florence might not always be home, but she was always there when she was, and that alone counted for everything.

"Mama! Go sit down and relax!" You smiled, and shook your head at your sons outburst.

"Okay, you two make sure not to burn my kitchen down!" Florence scoffed, "As if..."

Florence and Timmy started by washing all the pots he'd used as toys, then afterwards she rewarded the boy with a kiss on his cheek that made him giggle and her heart soar. Then she propped her phone up and started up a cooking with Flo. Tim's hands and voice were all she allowed on the tape, your son was aware of his exposure to the internets limits so he didn't take any offense. He happily played his part.

The duo decided to try their hand at making a Big Mac for you, vegan patties of course. This led to the blonde gushing about you and the pregnancy on her story as your son filled them in on the things even Florence hadn't seen. It made her feel guilty all over again for having not been here for huge chunks of your lives.

She knew you were right, that she had a career to build so your family would be secure. It didn't stop her from wanting to quit though. Hearing about how tired you've been from the babes mouth made her wonder if the spotlight she found herself under mattered anymore.

When she had a growing boy who deserved her sole attention before your infant arrived, and you who deserved to rest in this last trimester.

Florence texted her manager as your son set the table all on his own. He beamed up at your wife whenever he felt he did something right, and she always praised him, never letting the argument on her phone interfere with their precious time together. "Mommy?"

The blonde nearly dropped her phone as he directed the title at her. "Yes bubby?"

"Is it true that you're a super hero?"

She smirked, "I'm actually an anti-hero."

Timmy looked at her puzzled, he now stood right in front of her wearing the expression so that she could catch onto his confused drift.

Florence dropped to her knees so she could look him in the eyes as she spoke. "That's when the person is in between good and evil. They are trying to figure out the best way to make things work, sometimes they do good, and others they do really bad things. Way cooler."

"What's cool?" You asked as you settled down at the table, Florence froze as your son enthusiastically cheered, "Being the bad guy."

Florence's jaw dropped, she attempted to fix the moment, but fortunately Timmy did.

"She was telling me about her character."

Dinner went smoothly from there, your moans of appreciation told your wife she'd done the food of your heart justice. It made her happy to take care of you, knowing that she was able to give you what you wanted, while making sure your daughter got the nutrients she needed.

Also, it made her feel less guilty being able to take some of the load off of you. You'd never complained, you simply took it all in stride, but she sees the way your smile is tired, and she catches the hand pressed into your lower back.

Carrying a baby is no joke, she knows that, so she does whatever needs to be done when she's home, and after tonight she plans to be here far more often. In a weeks time she'll be done with her current film, and the other's won't start shooting until after your daughters birthday.

When your son saw you getting up with the dishes he stopped you with a hand on your bump, and carried it to the sink for you. Flo scooped him up moments later, and tickled him until he was unable to breathe right.

"Careful Flossie, don't suffocate my baby." Your lover rolled her eyes, then she made her way over to help your wobbly self to your feet.

"You go take a nice long shower my love, I'll handle his bedtime routine." Florence kissed your cheek, and Timmy mirrored her action as he was sat on her hip. "You deserve it mama."

"Thank you my loves," you couldn't hide the emotional timbre of your voice, your eyes glistened in a direct call out. "Goodnight to you then my baby boy, I'll see you in the morning."

Timmy grinned, "We're making french toast!"

"My tummy is already rumbling," you enthused back, then happily slipped off to your en suite.

After Timmy was clean and in his PJ's, she decided to bring him with her to your room. Where she read him a story as he laid on her, and within a few minutes time he was snoring.

Florence carded a hand through his damp hair, she watched him in amusement as his eyes fluttered beneath the lids. Her tired mind wandered to what he might be dreaming about, the possibilities with him are endless, but she is almost certain it's either dinosaurs or fairies.

His obsession with Tinkerbell was her favorite.

"What's got you smiling?" Florence's lips widened when she saw you toweling your hair.

"I was thinking after the baby is six months we could leave her with my parents and take Tim-Tim here to Disneyland." She placed a kiss to his forehead then went on. "He is big enough to ride things now, and he'd love to meet the characters. We can do the brunch with them."

You smiled at her, delighted by her idea, but then your brows furrowed in confusion. "What about that horror film you were excited for?"

"I told them to push the filming to the end of 2024, or to recast me." Florence shrugged with an air of genuine indifference. "They moved it to October, so baby Pugh will be a year old."

"Baby Pugh," you softly repeated, hand softly caressing your bump as you realized you'd yet to give your daughter a name. Even when she was due to arrive within the next two months. Florence's hand joined yours as you stood beside the bed, and before she could soothe your worries she was gasping, "She kicked."

In all seven months of your pregnancy the little girl had yet to let Florence feel the harsh jabs she subjected you to. One time, when Flo felt like sleeping on the couch, she'd told you that you had to be exaggerating. You weren't, and she knew that now. Sometimes you wondered if you watched Flo's "Fighting With My Family" one too many times whenever you missed her. Because you were now absolutely certain your daughter had the potential to be in the WWE.

"I'm glad that brings you joy," you teased through a wince as the little one kicked again, this time much stronger, your belly even shook.

"Oh darling, I'm so sorry I doubted you," Flo giggled softly as she saw an imprint form under the skin, and you smiled tenderly down at her as you moved to put your hand over hers. "You should be, it's because she hears you talking."

Florence tried to deny it, but you were already two steps ahead of her. Showing her the videos of whenever she kicks, and how it's usually as you rewatched old family videos. Each shake or prod of your belly followed her laugh or words.

Your wife gently moved the boy on top of her onto the mattress, then stood up, briefly she kissed your lips before bending to be eye level with your pregnancy bump. "Hello Lyla," she tried, but she was met with a sudden stillness.

"Okay, how about hello baby Patricia."

"No," you vetoed immediately, then the both of you felt a powerful kick, baby Pugh agreed.

"I'm running out of names little one."

"Florence, that was two names," you laughed and she looked up at you with a tired smile. "I'm jet lagged my love, please do forgive me."

"Come on then," you paused, taking her hand in yours as you guided her to her side of the bed, "We'll discuss everything in due time."

Florence however flipped your positions, and gently helped you into your side. Then she straddled your thighs, leaving you to quirk a distrusting brow at her. She shook her head, then gestured to the sleeping boy beside you before her hands began to bring you to bliss.

Every press of her hands against your bump was heavenly, and in no time you yawned. It was a miracle that you were still awake when she finally finished. Clambering off of you she moved to sit beside you instead, leaning down so she could kiss all over your face before she landed on your lips with a contented sigh.

"I think Samantha could be cute." You both chuckled when a soft kick resounded beneath her hand that was still settled atop your bump.

"Timmy and Sammy against the world?" You both chuckled softly at your sleepy son's voice cutting through the already sweet moment. "We could be like mommy and be anti heroes."

"Where does that leave me?" You inquired, and he sleepily shrugged, a move that brought him closer to you, he easily snuggled into your side. "At home making all of us cookies of course."

"Oh of course," you conceded, but sent your wife a disapproving, heatless glare over it.

"A cookie might make us less evil mommy," he reasoned. "Mommy's are never as sweet."

Florence had already settled in behind your son, wearing a mischievous grin as she leaned in to whisper: "That's cause mama pours the entire bag of chocolate chips into the batter."

"Go to sleep," you barked. "Both of you."

"Yes ma'am," the two giggled in sync and you couldn't help but to smile at their childish camaraderie. "I love you mama," your sons tired whisper of affection made your eyes glisten. "I love you too bug." Then he sweetly rubbed your belly. "I love you Sammy Pugh."

He giggled as she kicked, "She loves me too."

"Of course she does," you reasoned, settling a kiss to his temple. "You're her big brother."

Florence observed the moment with an adoring smile, but it held an obvious longing as well. It wasn't unlike her to watch moments like this between the both of you, it's one of the main reasons she was so adamant on taking a break.

Timmy deserved her time, and she not so secretly craved his reserved affections.

Then he rolled over, she softly gasped as he burrowed into her chest. "I love you mommy." Her arms wrapped around him tightly, and she shakily whispered, "I love you my lil sous chef."

Florence's eyes sought yours out as soon as his soft snoring filled the space. You'd already been looking at them, neither of you said a word, you just admired the other as a steady flow of happy tears trailed down your faces.

This was all either of you had ever wanted. A happy little family, unconventionally formed, but brought to the now by unconditional love.

——

3,135 Words

❤️ K 💋

[frances-baby-houseman]

I have seen the film We Live in Time. I feel like maybe you want to see it so I won't say anything but like, I love Florence Pugh and obviously Andrew Garfield and like. You do not need to rush to see this one. You can see it on an airplane. But if you want to know more of my thoughts about this film you can read them below the cut.

This movie goes out of chronological order and often the only way you know what time they're living in is by Miss Flo's hair. that's an important note. Miss Flo has a LOT to do and as you will see Andrew has very little to do other than cry.

Andrew is getting a divorce. He has to go to a hotel and talk about weetabix. He cries in the bathtub while eating cookies.

He goes to the store in a bathrobe on a highway to get pens to sign his divorce papers. also gets a chocolate orange. Miss Flo runs him over.

They go out for milkshakes. Andrew cries a little because he is in pain from getting run over.

He gets together with Miss Flo, then they have a fight because he wants children and she gets REALLY mad that he puts this on her. He cries and leaves.

He inexplicably follows a pizza man into a baby shower to tell Miss Flo that he loves her and does not care about children, only the time he is currently living in. He cries out of newfound love.

They decide to introduce their parents. It is revealed in a conversation about Salt Lake City that Miss Flo was a competitive figure skater (but inexplicably she was not in Salt Lake for the olympics, just a different competition. weird choice.) Andrew tears up out of surprise for his very competetive girlfriend (at some point he learns by going through a box that she is both bisexual and a very competitive chef.)

Later that night miss flo gets a stomach ache, very bad, Andrew tears up with worry.

It is revealed she has ovarian cancer. She can have a total hysterectomy (good for actually curing it) or partial/keep her eggs so they can have babies, which she didn't even want, but now she does want for him. You can see where this is going. Andrew cries.

She gets better and they ride the carousel with the insane horse to celebrate.

~Fertility Montage~ Andrew is teary when the tests are negative and also positive.

Several false alarms to give birth to this baby.

They are in a tunnel to finally go to the hospital and it's new years eve and the traffic is stopped and Andrew gets out to investigate and when he comes back Miss Flo is gone to a convenience store where she is picking out every single food. They abandon the car, truly, we never hear of it again. Absolutely insane behavior.

Miss Flo gets locked in the gas station bathroom and the baby is COMING. Andrew, teary, kicks in the door with two employees, then they help Miss Flo give birth in the bathroom. This is a VERY LONG SCENE. Everyone is crying, especially Andrew. The baby is born.

Time passes. They move to what looks like Kate Winslet's cottage from The Holiday.

Miss Flo gets another tummy ache. Oh no the cancer is back. She got the baby but also got Chekhov's remaining ovary cancer. She doesn't want more treatment because she wants to live in the time she has. Andrew cries (this is literally the first scene in the movie).

She DOES get treatment but also she decides to compete in the Beaucoup D'or, which is a prize for chefs that looks like Iron Chef and will take like 40 hours a week to train for, in addition to her job and her family. She tells Andrew she's not doing it and he's teary with gratitude

Andrew proposes (these two are MODERN and are not married despite having a kid and a cottage.) Obviously, he cries. He makes cute little save the dates with a carousel horse on them.

They shave her head. This happens early in the film so you'll know what time they're in when it jumps around, but is stupid bc she just has a buzz cut and does not ever actually lose her hair. The buzz cut is just to tell you it's cancer #2 timeline.

She IS doing the competition and puking a lot, which is gross for a chef. We have no clue what andrew is doing when he's not crying in her presence. Presumably, a ton of childcare.

The doctor says the treatment didn't work and they eat some candy. Andrew OBVIOUSLY cries. Almut says she'll pick the kid up from school.

Almut forgets to pick the kid up from shcool and is very busy training for the beacuoup d'or. she comes home and Andrew is crying with rage and fear that she might be dead. She reveals the contest and is like, I want my daughter to remember me for more than just being her mother (fair!!) and Andrew cries out, "how can she remember you for something you are keeping secret!!" (EXACTLY my thoughts, andrew.) OH YEA the competition is the weekend of the wedding!!!!! So Andrew takes the box of save the dates out to the trash and takes each one out of the box and puts them individually in the trash can while crying.

Ok so now we are in Italy and Miss Flo passes an ice rink and looks at it meaningfully. Then it's CHEF COMPETITION TIME. Miss Flo's assistant (loved this character) throws up. TOO MUCH CHEFS THROWING UP!!!

Andrew and the baby who's like 5 now are in the audience. He is teary with pride. Miss Flo cooks but she doesn't stay for the results. She walks out with Andrew and the baby.

They obviously go to the skating rink and they skate around and then Miss Flo skates off and like, does this weird wave and then you know she is dead.

Andrew is now a single parent and taking care of the baby and getting the cottage chicken eggs. He actually is crying less now. They make pancakes or something.

the end.

[periprose]

Florence - Chapter Six

You and Peter tell MJ the truth about the fashion show debacle. Bachelor/bachelorette parties are held the next day, Peter learns what was bugging Harry so much, and you and Peter start getting distracted by each other (in a particularly lustful fashion). The day after that, there's a massive heatwave and it's only one more night until Harry and MJ's wedding.

Some horny stuff, lavish partying, protective!Logan, mutual pining, lots of mushy feelings and fluff, lots of texting through out events, first kiss (kind of!)

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

MJ’s hard to find. Peter is not even especially focused on finding her, because he’s trailing his hands around you after what just happened, and you are not really inclined to tell him to stop.

You ask around the party- most people assume that MJ is with Harry, but Harry isn’t with her, and her parents are too busy dancing to answer your question, even if you say it’s somewhat urgent.

MJ’s sister laughs when you ask her. “She’s very shy sometimes. Probably hiding away in her bedroom.”

“But MJ’s kinda loud and crazy.” Peter remarks, not in a mean way, just pointing out how your friend can be really out there. “What do you mean shy?”

“She has her moments.” Gayle answers, and you don’t think that’s true.

Just as you thought, MJ’s not in her bedroom either, but as you and Peter exit, holding hands as you’ve become accustomed to, who else would be in the corridor, waiting for the bathroom to open up, other than your father?

The implication is not lost on you. How it looks like you two have just stolen each other away in a corner of the house during the party, taking each other as lovers in horny secrecy- and there’s a little too much evidence proving the fact, you with your still messed up hair, Peter with his partially unbuttoned shirt, the drunken air of heat around you two- and you both just came out of a bedroom. 

You feel a little embarrassed before remembering that you are twenty-six, and Logan can’t exactly punish you for something you didn’t do, and even if you did do it, you’re totally allowed to. You’re not a stupid, unwary teenager- despite what Logan thinks, Peter did not take advantage of you. 

Peter is kind of loosely gripping your hand, and you think he’s going to let go, probably out of fear that your father will kill him- and you hold his hand a little tighter, refusing to let him go.

“Hey, dad.” You say kind of breezily, a little wary of Logan’s eyes flickering from your intertwined hands to your face. “Do you know where MJ is?”

“Ah… Little Wolverine.” Logan’s voice is laced with tenderness as he stares at you, and his face is battling some girl-dad extremes right now- he wants to protect you and be there for you all at the same time, and he doesn’t want Peter anywhere near you, not after how you experienced such heartbreak not so long ago- but he lets it slide for now. He can see that you’re not willing to talk about it right now, and Peter’s staring at the ground with a guilty expression that Logan can’t help but feel a little bad about.

Sure, Peter’s got his hands on Logan’s only daughter- but he’s still one of your best friends, and Logan always thought he would like if you ended up with him, because Peter was another bright kid, a cute scamp that Logan thought wasn’t nearly as annoying as all the other boys that had no right to be near you. He’s seen the both of you grow up together- how could he not be a little bemused about the whole thing?

“I think I saw her heading into the bar.” Logan states, and you nod and pull Peter alongside you, while Logan stares at you, wondering when you had to grow up and wishing he could just prevent you getting hurt.

/

Sure enough, MJ is in the bar, trying to carry like three different bottles of champagne on her own- Peter is quick to grab one as it’s falling and you grab the other that’s still in her arms.

“Ooh, that was close.” MJ pants, and rests against the counter. “There could’ve been bubbly everywhere.”

“Don’t worry, Peter would’ve caught all of them if that happened.” You know very well about Peter’s weird uncanny ability to catch things that are falling, or sense when things are coming towards you- he’s pulled you out of the way of random people several times, despite never seeing them. 

“That’s true. Peter once pulled Gwen out of the way when she almost tripped over the balcony. I think it was in your guys’ first year of uni? I was visiting.” MJ comments, and you realize you weren’t there, because you were starting to refuse Peter’s invitations downtown to ESU. 

It’s not like campus was that faraway, but you couldn’t handle it at the time. Now you feel sad that you missed out on something. And a little stupid.

“Really?” You ask. “I wasn’t there, what exactly happened?”

“Ah… if I remember correctly, Gwen was crying about something that happened during class.” Peter starts, and recognition seems to fall on him. “Oh, right. She thought she was about to lose her scholarship.”

“Yeah, poor girl was crying and blubbering- you know when you cry so hard you can’t breathe? That was her.” MJ nods, pursing her lips as she thinks it over. “I don’t think any of us realized how close she was to the edge. Except for Peter.”

Peter looks sheepish. “It was just an instinct, you know? I heard her foot stumble, and the sound of the wind- her back was leaning over the edge when I pulled her back.”

You imagine Gwen shrieking, her platinum blonde hair flowing in the autumn wind as she teetered for a moment, only to be cut off as Peter’s hands grabbed her. How terrifying- Gwen could’ve died.

You say as much, and MJ nods. 

“It was really scary. She held onto Peter for a while, and he was really nice about the whole thing.” She gives him a soft squeeze of the hand, and you feel like Peter’s actually just so… sweet. 

It’s something you’ve always known, but thinking about it now, you really know that you love him. You love that Peter always seems to be thinking for others, even if he can arguably be a bit dense about his own feelings- you could never say that Peter didn’t put others first, that he always tried his best to make everyone feel a little better.

It’s funny how little realizations like this can just strike you. You know Peter and MJ aren’t aware of how you feel on the inside right now, but some part of you wishes you could stay in Florence with Peter forever. Stay in this moment of being next to him, and being in love with him as he is, and not having to worry about the rest of the world. 

“You’re a good person.” You say, and Peter gets a funny smile on his face.

“You say that like it’s surprising, Howlett. But thank you.” He ruffles your hair, and MJ grins at the two of you. “Another good-person thing incoming: me and Howlett have some news about your Dior contract.”

“Oh, really?” MJ leans forward, placing the bottle back on the counter as she sits on it. “What is it?”

“Bucky and Elektra were the ones behind the email. They never actually told Dior that you were misusing funds, which is fair because Dior would’ve never believed them.” You explain, and MJ tilts her head, somewhat confused. “The entire thing was a sham. Sent by Bucky, probably based off of something that’s happening to Elektra… they sent you a fake email with a doctored balance sheet, for reasons I’m not sure about. Maybe to get back at someone who’s actually in Dior’s good graces?”

“A fake email?” MJ’s mouth is agape, and she scrolls through her phone, and you watch as the power of a thousand suns suddenly light up inside her eyes. “A fake fucking email?!”

“MJ-”

“No. No. That’s literally so-” MJ starts cursing, things you would never repeat to your own mother if she somehow made an ill-advised appearance in your life again. “God, I spent literal weeks if not months worrying and crying about this- it made me feel anxious about the wedding stuff too- and you’re telling me it was basically an elaborate prank? I would’ve just not shown up to New York Fashion Week and then shit really would’ve gotten real!”

It’s starting to make sense to you now. Bucky and Elektra would somewhat benefit from less competition if MJ was blacklisted from Dior’s shows, especially because she dared to just not come after being given the privilege of modelling for them. 

She jumps off her seat at the counter, grabbing your shoulders, and you’re taken aback, sputtering in the face of MJ’s rage. Peter hoists her a bit away from you, or at least- he tries to, his arms coming up under hers, and he’s dangling her up in the air, but MJ has a lot of strength, especially when she’s upset, and her fingers hurt a little as they tighten and squeeze around your shoulders.  

“Lettie. Tell me right now. Should I kick them out? Is there potential for them doing worse since they’re here?” MJ huffs out, and you breathe a sigh of relief that MJ isn’t actually upset at you. 

“Considering Bucky had his hands all over Howlett earlier, I don’t think there’s any lower you can get.” Peter mutters, clearly still kind of pissed over that. His jaw clenches with tension, and then he finally pulls MJ aside, and she stands, crossing her arms.

“Sorry, Lettie. Bucky really can be creepy, but I thought he would know better at a wedding.” She rolls her eyes. “That does it- I’m uninviting them.”

“Now?” You ask, but MJ is already walking towards the backyard entrance, and you and Peter give each other a look before following her. “Wait- MJ, hang on!”

“What?” She stops for one moment and Peter shakes his head.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asks gently, and MJ inhales, her chest puffing up, red anger spreading from her heart to her face.

“Of course I want to do this! I feel like killing them, how could they- how could they do that to me? I’m sick of being nice to assholes.” MJ breaks into a brisk run, but you grab her arm, and get yanked forward as you do your best to stop her.

Models and their long legs- Peter swallows a laugh as he watches you, with your shorter stature, attempt to pull back MJ, and he easily helps you just by holding her other arm.

“MJ, listen. Think carefully.” You whisper to her, and she’s still upset but she is listening. “You have a lot of potential notoriety if you kick them out now. There are people everywhere- other models invited, networking people, hell, even Harry’s tech corporation people. You could be infamous for the wrong reasons, and not everyone knows about the email thing.”

“But… But I…” MJ sighs, knowing that you’re right. “God, for just once in my life I wanted to give it to them. I wanted them to feel like they were tiny, small, like I did for the last few weeks. And they really, really deserve it.”

“You can still do that.” Peter remarks, but he looks upset, and rightfully so that MJ had had such a hard time. “Just do it when there are no consequences to you.”

MJ takes it in, and after careful consideration, tells you guys what she thinks. “I’m going to keep them here- I want to be totally in control of how they find out that they’ll be banned from any proper fashion house shows indefinitely. After I tell Dior all about it, of course. Might as well take the high road for now so it all comes crashing down later.”

MJ sounds rather giddy, almost borderline evil, but you have to let her have it for once. The nicest people are the scariest when they’re pushed to their limits. 

A chill breeze enters the Villa as she pulls you and Peter outside- the rest of the night is a blur of dancing, where you and MJ screeching songs in each others’ faces, relief about everything clearly making her mood a lot better than it was previously.

/

You’re not sure when you fell asleep, or when you managed to get back upstairs to your bedroom, but you wake up pretty late.

“What?” You murmur as you check your phone. It’s 4:00 PM. “Oh, fuck.”

You sleepily sit up, and surprisingly, you don’t have a hangover- but it’s probably only because you’ve slept so long. You wonder where everyone is.

Someone knocks on your door, and you tell them to come in. It’s Gwen, her trademark small smile and platinum blonde hair making you feel less tired already.

“Hey, Lettie.” She sits on your bed, and you feel kind of dishevelled for having slept so long. “I thought I’d come by to tell you to get ready.”

“Huh?”

“Oh. I guess you didn’t know?” Gwen plays with a strand of her hair, and looks apologetic. “Today is the bachelorette party, and the bachelor party, but of course we’re going to MJ’s bachelorette party. I hope you’re okay with partying even more- it’s at some swanky club.”

“Oh.” You yawn, and you shake your head. “Meh, whatever. It’s just one crazy week- for the rest of my life I’ll be super moderate and healthy.”

Gwen giggles. “It’s good to see you’re up to it. I can’t imagine what MJ would have said if you weren’t there.”

After a bit of showering and preening and cleaning yourself up, you’re given your bachelorette dress by Gwen. Natalia, Kitty, Wanda, Betty, and Gayle (MJ’s sister) are in your room as well. It’s nice to be with them- you remember Gayle is like uber responsible and she combs your hair back and zips you into your dress before you can even ask for help. Betty is pretty nice, but she’s always in a bit of a mood. Natalia, Kitty, and Wanda are actually a lot sweeter than you would’ve assumed- they only offer helpful tips on fashion and no one is out to criticize you.

You blankly wonder where Elektra could be, if she’s even invited to the whole affair. She must be- but perhaps she’s getting ready on her own. Perhaps MJ is slowly beginning to ice her out.

Everyone is giggling, gossiping, getting ready- and you feel like this is what sisterhood is all about sometimes. The intimacy of the beautification process is one that you’re not sure men understand. By the end of all the dressing up, accessorising, and makeup, everyone looks kinda matching. The style is glitz, sparkle, as much as you could possible adorn on yourselves- there are little gems glued on your face, sparkly highlighter everywhere, and everyone just looks glowing, ethereal, shiny. Like a bunch of fairies.

MJ’s bought eight matching dresses in style- bodycon, spaghetti strap dresses that are mid thigh length, accentuating your figure, and just bedazzled in a million tiny gems. Reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe’s infamous Happy-Birthday-Mr. President dress, just a lot shorter. Yours is in a burnt red colour that screams red hot spice- MJ’s is a deep, sultry midnight-blue, Betty is of course in black as usual, Gayle is in green, and Gwen is in a pretty plum. Kitty and Natalia are matching- they’re in a pretty opalesque seashell pink- and Wanda is in wine. Despite the colours ranging so wildly, the shimmer of the jewels on your dresses unify the lot of you.

“We look like a girl group.” You point out, and everyone flashes a silly pose. You take a picture of the eight of you- just for the memories and all that. 

After just a second of deliberation, you post it to your Instagram story- it’ll be gone in 24 hours, and you haven’t been posting anything for the whole trip. Why not, right?

Peter responds to it almost instantly.

pbp replied to your story: not fair

pbp: you cant just post a picture like this and not expect me to come n see you

littlewolverine: it looks that good?

pbp: better than that. you look gorgeous

littlewolverine: what about everyone else in the picture peter

pbp: there are other ppl in the picture?

littlewolverine: omg stop lol

pbp: just kidding. Everyone looks great but u just drew my attention first. I LOVE the dress

littlewolverine: thank you :) 

pbp: you should do full glam more often lol. Stop hiding in ur giant sweaters in your room

littlewolverine: I’ll do that if u do the same thing lol. Stop hiding ur muscles 👀 i saw them on the beach

pbp: ohhh so u were checking me out? if i had known that i would’ve built more muscle

littlewolverine: no no. you are fine the way you are, promise. 

littlewolverine: so what are u guys wearing?

pbp sent a picture.

You open it, and it’s a picture of Harry, Peter, Bucky (!), Miles, and three tech bros you don’t recognize. They’re wearing fancy dress pants, button up shirts, and suspenders. Very sophisticated, old-money, Italian aesthetic.

littlewolverine: im surprised buck is there

pbp: that’s the first thing u have to say?? wow

littlewolverine: sorry. Are u sure you’re not secretly italian? How do u pull this off so well? Very hot 10/10 no notes. Love the suspenders too.

pbp: i think MJ is gonna let buck and elektra “have” the upper hand for now… and then destroy them later.

littlewolverine: wow that’s dark. But they deserve that

pbp: anyways thanks howlett. Wasn’t really feeling the look but u changed my mind. I think im gonna go become a part of that mafia aesthetic that the youth enjoy so much

littlewolverine: hahahaha

littlewolverine: you’ll surely become a top ten tiktok star or whatever it is. Idk either

pbp: we’re old as fuck. 

/

Although bachelorette parties are fun, and you enjoy conversing and dancing with the girls- Elektra is the only one who’s a bit ostracized and she seems secretly panicked as to why- you spend most of the evening texting Peter. You can’t help it- he’s just that funny and annoyingly distracting. 

pbp: uhhh there’s a stripper dancing on the bar counter now. howlett what do i do

littlewolverine: idk man, look at her, don’t look at her? Up to u really

pbp: but do i look at her bc i respect her as a person and im not shaming her for her work? Or do i not look at her bc i disagree with a world that has normalized female bodies as sexual objects, and has generally coerced women into feeling comfortable w that? 

littlewolverine: uhHHhhhhhh. Okay ask her if she had no other choice but to become a stripper. And then decide from there, you wise philosopher lol

pbp: thanks for the advice. I think im gonna look away because she’s giving some of the tech bros a lap dance… and uhhhhh out of respect to u ofc

littlewolverine: whaaat. im chill w it

pbp: not to make u feel bad. but what about what happened w mj?

littlewolverine: that’s totally different, this is a random stripper. Feelings and best friends are way more heavy. I thought u were emotionally literate lol

pbp: so u wont mind if i get a lap dance from this lady? 

littlewolverine: ah, u got me there. Okay, but only if im allowed to get one from some random male stripper

littlewolverine: I kid, i kid. I wont do that lol. Anyways its fine if you want to, its not like we’re official 

pbp: omg

pbp: howlett come on i was joking too. Why tf would i do that? 

pbp: and we’re not official YET. im not screwing that up for something stupid i dont even care about

littlewolverine: oh idk. I didnt want to screw up either lol. What if i was putting too much pressure on u to commit

pbp: I want to commit lol. Im waiting for the signal from u

littlewolverine: okay. Maybe when things are less busy. and we can actually be alone. then it’ll happen.

Peter sends a bunch of heart emojis and you feel your heart swell with warmth and all those gooey feelings that you swore you’d never feel again.

“You’re totally glued to your phone.” Gwen says as she sits next to you, taking a break from the dancing. She’s sweating a lot, and she takes a long drink of water.

“Ah, well… I don’t know. Maybe parties aren’t my thing.” You try to make an excuse, but Gwen gives you that smile, where she already knows what’s up.

“And Peter Parker is definitely your thing, right?” She jokes, and you blush but nod ever so timidly. It’s the first time you’ve really admitted that this is happening, and Gwen squees and hugs you. 

“I knew it! You guys are so meant to be. Miles always said that you have chemistry with him.” Gwen confesses and you wonder if it’s just been that obvious to everyone else, all these years.

/

Peter, on the other hand, is being pulled into the dance circle by Miles, at their own respective party. He didn’t even get a chance to see you in all your glamour at the Villa, try as he might- everyone was ushered away before he could steal a moment with you. 

He resists the urge to check his phone, and eventually, leans against the bar counter with Harry, who looks solemn. 

“Hey, Har.” Peter tries to be gentle, because of his last rocky conversation together with him.

“Ah. Peter.” Harry wordlessly holds up his fist for a fist bump, which Peter gratefully does. “How’s the party for you?”

“It’s fine… I’ve spent most of the time texting Howlett.” Peter admits, and Harry laughs.

“Did I knock some sense into you?”

“...Maybe.” Peter grimaces and then laughs. “Okay, yeah. I needed to hear it- that I wasn’t treating her right.”

Harry nods, and then decides to be honest. “Actually. I needed to hear some harsh truths from you, too. I was kind of ignoring MJ and what she wanted. And it wasn’t all perfect and fixed until you said something.”

Peter shrugs. “You would’ve fixed it anyways. What happened?”

Harry pauses. “I think I was getting too preoccupied with Oscorp. Dad is really on my ass about taking it seriously, and I am, I just… I didn’t talk to MJ for a bit because I thought she’d freak on me about it. Sometimes we argue about who’s doing what correctly and I just kinda ghosted her about it.”

“Hey, at least you talked to her about, right?” Peter feels bad. “Sorry that I made you out to be some sort of serial cheater. I just remember in high school, and even college, you kinda used to be on-and-off with MJ a lot.”

Harry snickers. “Yeah, that wasn’t very healthy of me, was it? But we got over that a while back. MJ told me if I was really, truly serious about her, I wouldn’t keep leaving her hanging like that, and she had a point. I couldn’t imagine being without her- and that’s why I wanted you to do the same thing with Howlett, you blind idiot.”

“I knew that couldn’t be your own knowledge. MJ really taught you everything, didn’t she.” Peter comments and Harry immediately starts punching him jokingly, before letting go of his fist and admitting that it’s kinda true. 

Peter coughs but he’s all good. He’s happy. He’s glad to have you, Harry, and MJ at his side again.

His phone beeps with another text from you.

littlewolverine: omg look at this

You’ve sent him a picture of a spider crawling up the wall, and the next picture is of it landing on Elektra, and the very last thing is a video of her running and MJ laughing in the background.

pbp: HAHAHAHA

pbp: serves her right i think

littlewolverine: bet she wishes she had a you to come and save her. Remember when we were fifteen and u had to come get rid of the spider in my washroom at the hotel?

pbp: remember??? You think ive forgotten that? you were still wearing your swimsuit and i think i spent the rest of that trip thinking about that

littlewolverine: omg noooo why? That was not a cute look on me… dad bought that bikini for me without consultation lol

pbp: teenage boys are really horny howlett. you think im gonna be picky when that was maybe the closest id ever been to a semi naked girl at that point? nah. 

littlewolverine: wowww so you were only horny bc it could’ve been any girl??

littlewolverine: #blockedandreported

pbp: ok fine maybe it had something to do with you being the girl. 

littlewolverine: Sent a picture.

Peter opens the picture and blinks- you’re becoming way more confident at teasing him, he can tell, and he feels heat rushing from his face to his neck and even further below that. It’s just you, in the washroom mirror of the club, except- just for this private intimate moment captured in this picture- you’ve pulled down your dress, straps and all, so your top half is showing. You’re still wearing your bra, of course, but this is the most erotically charged picture from you that he’s ever gotten, and he’s not thinking clearly anymore, not when he can clearly see your cleavage. 

pbp: show more? Please?

littlewolverine: you can see it in person lol. 

pbp: noooo faaaaiiiir. are u gonna walk out of the washroom like that? do i have to be jealous of everyone in the club?

littlewolverine: no you dumbass. this is a private picture just for u and i already pulled my dress back up. 

pbp: im excited to pull it back down in person lol.

/

Unfortunately for Peter, the partying lasted until 2:00 AM, and by the time everyone made it back to the Villa, he was too tired to come sneak into your room and very possibly annihilate you with all this pent up lust he keeps feeling. 

So now it’s Thursday. July 20th. One day before the wedding, meant to be a chill day of planning and preparing.

But it’s the hottest day of the summer so far, apparently. Almost 35 degrees celsius, or 95 degrees fahrenheit, which is just horrible.

The air conditioning is on max- everyone is sitting around various parts of the house trying to fan themselves, and yet, it’s not enough. The sweaty, sticky feeling is palpable- most people have gone shirtless at this point. You swear you can see the heat waves emanating through the air.

You’re wearing a big tee-shirt, loose cotton shorts, and a cropped tank top underneath the shirt for some modesty. You’re very close to just taking off your shirt.

Your dad is really complaining. He’s shirtless and lying face down on the tiles. “Kid. Throw some ice cubes on me, will ya?”

“Uhhh… okay.” You peel yourself off the leather couch, your bare thighs sticking to the hot cushions, and walk towards the fridge in the kitchen. Every step feels like more heat is wafting towards you and sticking to you. 

Peter’s in the kitchen, and he’s putting his whole head inside a giant bowl of ice cold water. He sees you approaching and pulls his head out, water from his hair splashing over his bare upper body and the floor. 

“Don’t you dare-!” You shriek, but to no avail, because Peter picks you up and shakes his wet hair all over you, and now you’re covered in water too. 

“Isn’t that better, Howlett? You’re not as hot now, right?” Peter holds you close as you try to open the freezer for some ice. “Where are you going?”

“I’m trying to get away from you, you soaking wet monkey-” You dart under his arms and open the freezer. 

“You’d probably feel less hot if you took off your shirt.” Peter slyly attempts to say, and you roll your eyes at how transparent he can be. “Not that I can’t already see through your shirt. Nice neon-green tank you got on there.”

“Ugh!” You take out the ice tray and leave it on the counter. “Thanks, Peter.”

You pull off your now see-through top, and Peter cannot ignore the way you’re glowing, little water droplets attached to your already flushed, sweaty skin, on the little bare stripe of your stomach that the tank top reveals, and he gets this impossible urge to just lean in and kiss you especially because your mouth is just agape because of the heat, and he wants to take your mouth for his own pleasure.

He leans in, and you look up at him- and Peter traces back your hair, and he feels increasingly frustrated that he hasn’t planted one on you yet, (the last time, he recalls with some amusement, is when you were both nine, and he doesn’t think that really counts because you fell on top of him over a sandcastle)  so he pulls your face upwards and kisses you with a deep inhale, his lips gently-yet-firmly plying against your own, and it’s with immense satisfaction that Peter feels you kiss back, and he’s so glad he finally gets to know what it’s like to kiss you after fantasizing about it this whole week, and he feels that you’re so soft and sweet and he just wants to pull you further into his arms, and he’s just beginning to swirl his tongue against your own when he hears a very loud cough in the background.

You pull away sheepishly, your hair all dishevelled from Peter’s insistent hands, and grimace at your father. “Hey, dad…”

Logan takes the ice cubes that you apparently took to long to give to him, and starts rubbing them on his shoulders. His massive, muscular shoulders, Peter thinks with a gulp. 

“Hey, kid. Just leave the room for a bit. Me and Pete need to have a chat.” Logan states, and you immediately turn apprehensive.

“Wait- Dad- It’s not Peter’s fault, if you’re gonna yell at him- you gotta yell at me too!” You cross your arms, and Peter looks towards the ground, feeling much younger than his 26 years of age. “I’m an adult woman. You can’t just-”

Logan goes up-bup-bup-bup and silences you, pushing you out the kitchen door and shutting it. You sit down on the tiles in frustration, and try your best to listen through the door.

“Peter. C’mere.” Logan sits at one of the barstools, and Peter follows, feeling an ominous level of dread. “I’m not gonna kill you for laying one on my daughter- that’s still her choice, even if I question her taste.”

“Oh.”

“But I’m not letting you off so easy.” Logan stares at his hands, and thinks about how you spent quite literally years being depressed over Peter, even if you wouldn’t say as much. “Listen. Lettie might’ve forgiven you for whatever happened between the two of you- but that kid is my whole life. This is the first time in a long time I’ve actually seen her happy.”

Peter nods, unsure of what he could say to that.

“But this comes at a price, alright? She’s happy, yeah, but you have no idea how upset she was without you.” Logan sounds rather pissed off and Peter flinches. “I better not see you using her and then leaving her behind again. Because I will come after you for that, even if Lettie tries to save your ass.”

“I won’t do that.” Peter responds almost immediately. “I’m not saying I wasn’t an idiot back then, but I would never do that. I really- I love her a lot. I just didn’t know it before.”

Peter has to stop himself from looking at Logan’s taken back expression, but he is surprised to find that Logan claps his hand on his back.

“And she loves you. At least I think she does.” Logan admits, and Peter wonders if you’ll ever tell him that. “I’m just saying. Don’t be stupid with my daughter this time around.”

“Yes, sir.” Peter replies, and Logan shakes his hand, before opening the door again.

You’re leaning against it, and you fall back against the tiles, before pulling yourself up in a rush. 

“Dad? You didn’t beat him up?” You genuinely sound confused, and Peter starts laughing. 

“He’s all yours, kid.” Logan ruffles your head, and you immediately start pestering Peter to explain what that means as Logan walks away.

Peter enjoys how you blabber on at him about your confusion and why Logan seems so okay with the whole thing, not that he was ever going to forbid you from dating someone, but he has his moments of being protective, and Peter wonders what he could say to answer your questions, maybe he could really confess his love for you as he had just accidentally done with Logan- but he decides to just lean in and kiss you again. 

Maybe he’ll tell you later.    

[dragon-ashes1485]

For the RoP ask game: 8, 10, 14 (again)

Hellooooo!

Thank you for these!

"What accessory would you like most to own? (sword, brooch, crown, etc.)"

Ok so we've learnt how indecisive I am with these things...in that spirit I have to say it's a tie between Elrond's s2 sword or Narsil.

I prefer the design of Elrond's, but I'd love to have Narsil just to swish it like Elendil (and Aragorn with Anduril) did! I quite like the curve of the Elvish weapons though.

I just want any sword to be honest😂

"Choose three characters. What jobs would they have if they lived in our time?"

Ooh I'm loving this one!

Galadriel - I'm going off of her sense of adventure and her kindness towards others, so I think she'd be travelling to different countries to set up conservation projects. There's lots of orangutan sanctuaries in Borneo and I can picture her rescuing them from markets and taking them to be looked after, much like she did with Elrond haha. If she takes a break from travelling, I think she'd be a brilliant karate teacher.

Arondir - he runs the activities at outdoor adventure centres, particularly excelling at archery. He doesn't tell the kids off for talking when they're supposed to be asleep, either. He needs somewhere to put his Arondad™ energy! He gives me volunteer vibes, so maybe he organises hikes to raise money for charities, especially ones dealing with sickness, as a result of Bronwyn's passing.

Gil-Galad - Hairdresser. You can pry this idea from my cold, dead hands😂that man's hair is immaculate and he'd be great at sensing if the person was chatty or not. Also the gossip would be unreal. If, in the real world, he had children, he'd also head up the Parent Teacher Association like a boss, organising bake sales and making school play costumes, because he needs somewhere to put his Gil-Gadad™ energy

"Do you have a song you associate with a favourite character?"

So I've done Elrond already, so methinks it's Galadriel's turn!

Again...I'm so sorry but I have two songs😅

First is "Falling" by Florence and the Machine (so many of her songs are TROP-character-coded, I swear) partially because of the link to her fall at the end of s2, but also "fallen out of favour, fallen out of grace" just remind me of her at the beginning of s1 when she was sent away to Valinor to heal. Also "it's only when I hit the ground it causes all the grief" again reminiscent of ✨️that scene✨️

Secondly, is "The Woods" by Daughter because of the line "we were trying to stop the winter, killing all it could" isn't that exactly s2 ep1 Galadriel, trying to stop the darkness, it fits her so well!

Thank you so much for these asks!

[sycamorre]

Can I please get the whole girl gang with Ori, Mela, Vaela, and Riven!

[send me a character]

Oh boy you're making me do my homework over here!

Oriana —

Favorite thing about them: I'm going to be incredibly non-specific and say that her growth as a character was my favorite part of playing her. She started out as this uptight, dutiful monk who was scared to show her own face too much for fear of making people mildly uncomfortable (and honestly to avoid invasive questions) to someone who was finally getting comfortable with who they were was such a blast. I love her newly-acquired confidence and the dynamic it brings to her post-campaign. She's far from perfect, and never will be, but she's maturing and making a new purpose for herself other than being someone's errand girl.

Least favorite thing about them: She is the worst pessimist in the world and sometimes her logic is so quick to jump to the worst conclusions that she literally puts her foot in her mouth. And it hurts for me to write that every single time due to secondhand embarrassment but I have to commit.

Favorite line: "She loved you! She still loves you!" at the Prince during the final fight while she's trying to distract him (or something like that). Or Ori's first jab at Damak "Maybe you would see more of it if you stepped out of the shadows" since it still makes me chuckle.

brOTP: Even though the Ori/Damak ship didn't sail, I still think they probably stay pretty close and end up working together on jobs in the future. They absolutely still push each other's buttons, but that's just how they are and they don't question it.

OTP: I am so mad at myself retroactively for not giving into the OriRanna feels by the conclusion of the campaign but I do not regret bringing it up afterwards and getting to enjoy it now at least.

nOTP: Ori and Cobalt are forever divorced and they barely know each other, this is just canon.

Random Headcanon: Ori has a hard time accepting the fact that Sharaea is basically keeping her distance after the Prince's defeat. In part because she does feel that connection still and worries that Sharaea is hurting, and partially because it is such a strange sensation to her to be without the dreams for so long after such a major revelation. It takes her a long time to get used to it, but she still wishes that there was more she could do.

Unpopular Opinion: I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion among our little group, but I never had intentions of making Oriana some kind of fated hero. I never had thoughts of making her tied to a major NPC or giving her any kind of serious destiny, I just wanted to play a radiant energy bomb with the aasimar/monk combo because I thought it would be funny once I pitched the idea to Sam and he told me about Damak who was basically her foil. But I do adore how her story developed and how well it ended up narratively.

Song I associate with them: So many... "Like the Dawn" by The Oh Hellos, "Warrior" by AURORA, and "Drumming Song" by Florence + The Machine to name a few.

Favorite picture of them: I like a lot but honestly one of my favs is the one I made of Chibs trying to hit on her, partly because it's Chibs and partly because I did really like how Ori's outfit came out in this one.

Mela —

Favorite thing about them: Literally the most wholesome member of the group. Not a bad bone or crystal in her body. I am so sorry for all that we put her though.

Least favorite thing about them: Only that I didn't get enough time to learn more about her and her backstory. Sigh.

Favorite line: "Real neighbors. Real family. Not just people that make you feel like you can pretend it doesn't exist."

brOTP: Mela and Halion. Druid buddies that deserve the world.

OTP: Mela is an independent Genasi who don't need no one... though I could be swayed about a certain fae...

nOTP: Literally anyone who would try to be mean to her in a relationship will meet a swift end by my hand.

Random Headcanon: 100% think that Mela's magic is flavored to look like the crystals on her body. If she wildshapes and doesn't specifically want to look a certain way, the animal she changes into will have things like crystal horns/claws, the flame sword she summons has the appearance of a crystal blade, etc.

Unpopular Opinion: I do wish she had gotten a chance to use wild shape more. I think Mela being a cute little critter sneaking around would have been amazing.

Song I associate with them: "Come Out and Play" by Billie Eilish

Favorite picture of them: That dang sketch I never colored, rip

Vaela —

Favorite thing about them: Drinking game QUEEN. Also just the fact that she doesn't take any shit while still having a lot of heart and empathy to those who earn it. Something about that balance between the two just made her all the more lovable.

Least favorite thing about them: she can out-drink my high constituion monk I do think I missed out on really getting to know her during the campaign, and I regret that a lot.

Favorite line: Not a specific line but I think back to Vaela's talks with Erosen when he was ready and willing to be her stand-in dad before Vaela was ready to reach back out to her family and i can't help but smile.

brOTP: Vaela, Riven, and Mela is the real brot3 and nothing can change my mine

OTP: I mean... I definitely have a certain paladin that turns a lovely shade of pink when someone talks about her because she sure is pretty and really cool to boot~

nOTP: Zaresh and his memory is not allowed to ever hurt Vaela again. If Damak didn't do it, Ori would have definitely put him out of his misery.

Random Headcanon: Very little thing, but I could see her gathering small, light trinkets that remind her of her friends and tie them to her bow, possibly for good luck, and possibly as a way to to tell which direction the wind is blowing when she's aiming.

Unpopular Opinion: I still think it would have been cool for her to pull an Erosen and punch Zaresh in the face. Just once.

Song I associate with them: "Dear Fellow Traveler" by Sea Wolf

Favorite picture of them: So fun fact: I never finished them but I started making emojis of the party members for kicks and here's the one I started of Vaela:

Riven —

Favorite thing about them: Riven's sassiness and perfect comedic timing always leaves me in stitches. She really felt like the heart of the party in that way.

Least favorite thing about them: This is the hardest thing and most of my "least favorite" things are mostly the things Oriana keeps fretting about when she thinks about Riven being in such a high position so I'm gonna go with not much at this time to be honest.

Favorite line: Not a line again, but specifically the scene between Ori and Riven where Riv dressed her up while Ori reassured her that she didn't think any less of Riven after they all found out about her half-drow heritage. That always felt like a major point in their friendship and I hold onto it fondly.

brOTP: I wanna say Riven and Halion just because I think their friendship was so neat, and it hurts a bit when I think about their falling out post-campaign. But there's also Riv and Damak's sibling-ish dynamic that I love a lot, too.

OTP: As much as he pushes Ori's nerves, I do think Riv and Delethil are on the same wavelength as each other and fit very well together, even with Eravin in the mix.

nOTP: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Random Headcanon: On the occasions where Oriana comes up to Aerenth on business (either with Ranna for her research or at the request of various Tyados officials who think she's got some kind of in with them because she's friends with Riven), Ori always makes a point to find Riven and any of the other girls that might be there with them after all the formalities are done and run off into the woods to find a clearing to just hang out in like they did before.

Unpopular Opinion: As much as I understand the reason why she and Del made the choice to execute Vasion, I still disagree that it was the best decision.

Song I associate with them: "Savage Daughter" by Sarah Hester mostly because of the rebellious vibes

Favorite picture of them: I mean... I think it's obvious (also bonus Vaela).

[fandomshatepeopleofcolor]

on top of all the stuff mentioned in the ask about the movie I just learned that the Oppenheimer movie has what was described as two long sex scenes with full nudity or partial nudity idr exactly which normally I have no issue with and I know this movie is about this guy's life or whatever but idk kinda feels not the most appropriate thing to focus on in a movie like this. It's also weird Nolan usually doesn't have scenes like this in his movies and this is the first of his movies to include such scenes

so for those of you wondering why nonny is talking about Oppenheimer here its because of this ask

So I don't want to sound like a swerf here but I do think that sex scenes should serve a purpose. now granted I haven't watched the film (and I wont be seeing it theaters any time soon). and honestly I feel like this is more of an ask for fandomshatewomen...

but here goes my opinion.

like the thing with sex scenes is again they should serve a purpose. because if it doesn't serve a purpose narratively it can literally just be sexism. you wanted to show nudity. but with Oppenheimer... they're mythologizing oppenheimer over his very real impact of creating a weapon of mass destruction. not only that but like you can still talk about oppenheimer and his legacy of murder (300k Japanese lives were lost to his bomb I don't care what the wiki says) but why aren't they focusing on the devastation of the Japanese people? Like the purpose of the sex scenes will be to humanize Oppenheimer make him seem real and sympathetic (he's just like us he takes solace in an affair with a younger woman! he's flawed!) and even if I'm wrong about the sex scenes being with Florence pugh (who plays his mistress) even if the sex scenes are with Emily blunt who plays his wife... I dont get whyyyy now Nolan is showing us sex scenes. like why not a sex scene in Tenet?

No they're doing it in a film where they want us to sympathize with a literal mass murderer.

anyways I'm sorry if I'm not making sense here I just ugh everything about this movie rubs me the wrong way. but thanks for dropping by nonny! for future reference if you want to talk about sex scenes or a movie with an all white cast please go to fandomshatewomen or @fannishfeminists (I'm there too).

mod ali

[homenecromancer]

anyway here’s how D2ne in IMAX went / some thoughts

- i gotta see/read something at least twice for things to really start coming together for me, because i am a slow learner lmao

- it’s gonna be different for each viewer, but there’s definitely a point in this movie where things kind of click and you go “oh, this is a Villain versus Other Villain movie, there’s no hero here” and from that point forward it absolutely whips

- for twenty years i have enjoyed watching/reading bad things happen to Paul Atreides, and Timothee Chalamet manages to hit an excellent balance between making you feel bad for a guy swept up by forces beyond his control at the same time as he makes you aware that Paul is not as helpless as he feels like he is. equal parts “oh no this poor guy” and the dread of watching something like a natural disaster wearing human skin.

- the final fight scene with Feyd-Rautha is pretty much impeccable, which i say as a person who has almost-universal trouble processing wtf is happening in fight scenes, blow-by-blow. but in this scene i thought it was well-communicated that Paul has almost met his match, but Feyd-Rautha is ultimately just not good enough. i tentatively propose that Paul’s ability to get stabbed twice and not just keep fighting, but win, and then dominate the Emperor into kissing his ring, is due to Bene Gesserit training in mastery of the body. he’s the Kwisatz Haderach because he can access both male and female Other Memory; he becomes Emperor partly because of his Bene Gesserit training, forbidden to men. symmetry

- because i was a preteen when i read Dune for the first time, a lot of things went right the fuck by me and a lot of characters just didn’t really make an impression on me. but these two movies bring life even to those characters who aren’t on screen for all that long

- like, despite her pivotal role in Dune and Dune Messiah (and supporting role in Children of Dune), Irulan made very little impression on my child brain. Florence Pugh is so absolutely perfect on-screen that — okay, i won’t say all without checking (and i’m not doing that at work), but many chapters of Dune begin with quotations from Irulan’s written work. an insane way to adapt this for the screen, to emphasize her presence, would be to have her do a voiceover before every scene. this would be a terrible decision. i would watch every god damn second of Florence Pugh as Irulan doing that.

- Chani is unfortunately a bit of a non-entity in the book — as the focus on Paul gets tighter, and he adjusts to life with the Fremen, she fades into the background a little bit, and we lose insight into her inner life. which is a huge shame, because you could write a whole book just about what happens to Chani in the timespan covered by Dune. i have never seen anything else she’s in, but Zendaya does a fabulous job as Chani, and makes her character absolutely come to life. like i’m in delighted suspense hoping the Dune Messiah adaptation comes through just because Chani and Irulan both have so much going on in that book, and i want to see these actors play those roles so bad

- Rebecca Ferguson continues to be great as Lady Jessica — she has a very similar “fuck it, i’ll be evil” kind of arc as Paul (though Jessica is notably much less willing to commit to Full Evil than her son), and Ferguson sells the hell out of it. when i first read the book, i certainly did not appreciate the horror of being pregnant with a fetus that’s a full Reverend Mother — i mean, i don’t even think Frank Herbert shows it as effectively as Ferguson does. her delivery of the line “She talks to me” is bone-chilling.

- she’s only in the movie for maybe ten or fifteen minutes, but Léa Seydoux is very good as Lady Margot Fenring — her husband Count Hasimir Fenring does not exist in the movie, and Margot partially takes his role. let me explain a bit: Count Fenring is the Emperor’s bestie and hatchetman in the book, and appears in the final fight scene (where we learn he is a defective output of the Kwisatz Haderach breeding program). in the movie, though she doesn’t have any lines in that scene, Margot appears in his place. also different in the movie: Margot’s seduction of Feyd-Rautha is on camera, and rather than her husband, she is mostly seen with other Bene Gesserit while she’s on Giedi Prime. anyway. the Fenrings are two of the more astute characters in the book, and i thought compressing them into just the one character worked quite well

- is this movie exactly what i imagined when i first read the book? fuck no it’s not. and i cannot assess how well it conveys the themes of the book for those who haven’t read it. but as someone who has been waaaaay too into Dune at various points, i thought it was a very satisfying execution. much like Peter Jackson’s LOTR adaptations, i think Villeneuve’s Dune adaptations are technically impressive, beautifully executed love letters to their source material

- there are a lot of visually striking images and sequences in this movie, but the one that stuck with me this time is near the very end — as the Fremen charge out of the sandstorm at the assembled Sardaukar troops, there’s a moment where some Sardaukar are confronted by a towering wall of windblown sand. the sand at their feet begins to undergo liquefaction under their boots. then an enormous sandworm appears, looming over them like the face of God, mouth open and ready to swallow them whole. it’s so fucking dope

[brummiereader]

@peakyswritings...

Why must you torment me, Reb 😭😩?! These two are driving me crazy, gahhh!!

I knew it, I bloody knew it! I just knew things would go to shit again the next day 😭. I completely understand the reason why she rejected Tommy, but girl...think about your own happiness, please 😩. Agnese, as far as we know, isn't in love with Tommy. But Nina is, urghh the angst 💔.

"Her eyes trailed over Tommy’s face, tracing the regular line of his jaw, the small scar under his chin, the outline of his slightly parted lips, the curve of his nose, mesmerised by the way his long lashes brushed his freckled cheeks" he's so dreamy, sleeping like a baby. I hope he has a tiny little snore that goes with this mesmerising portrayal of him resting. I always love how you touch on the smaller details of someones appearance. You do it often with Nina, when Tommy's gazing at her. It just makes me melt 😍.

"Normally the options were two: a shotgun wedding or an honour killing, but in her case the choice was even more limited" this statement is horrifying. I didn't know honour killings happened in Italy. But I'm relieved to know that this won't be Nina's fate, unless her uncle takes it upon himself to "clean" the families name of her existent. I've always been scared for Nina because of Stefano, I never thought I should be scared for her because of her family 😬.

No, the truth couldn’t come out. What had happened the previous night must never get past the walls of Tommy’s room. Even if it meant losing him forever. Can't she just run away with him to Birmingham, and let everyone else deal with their mess 😩? Like it was mentioned in later parts...Tommy only does things that suit him. And because of Nina and the feelings he now has for her, he could easily sweep her away from it all and deal with the consequences in perfect Tommy fashion later on, right 😁😂??

Maria knows, or at least, partially knows what's got her daughter acting out of sort. It was honestly refreshing to see her open up so freely to her about her own arranged marriage and the hopes she has for her daughter. She's been such a stern character throughout, that like Nina, I thought that she was only looking out for her families interests and duty to her husband's way of life first. Their fragile relationship, is so intriguing to me and for a moment I thought things were looking better, until she started talking about a boy from Florence. Urghh meddling mothers, it never ends 😩. But I think deep down, she just wants Nina to escape that world by any means. Except the only thing is, Ninas heart belongs to someone else 😭.

Arghhhhhh 😩! The scene between Tommy and Nina bot only had me on the edge of my seat, but simultaneously ripping my hair out. Guys, come on 😤!!

She's stubborn, and with his famous stubborness, they're a match made in heaven. Only thing is, that stubbornness they seem to spur each other on with, keeps getting in the way of everything!

“We made a mistake,” Nina finished his sentence for him, trying to keep her voice steady despite the lump in her throat. “I made a mistake.” the worst part about all of this is, she doesn't want to be saying these things to him. She doesn't want to hurt him, but she has to 💔. I wonder if Tommy truly realises the shit storm that will come their way if she was to say yes to him? He's alone in Italy with no backup. He can't just go storming up to her asking her to marry him 🤦🏼‍♀️, he would have brought holy hell down on himself and her is she would have agreed. As much as Nina's stubborness kills me, she at least had a little brains during this convo. I just wish they wouldn't go from 1 to 100, and instead, talk things out before their emotions over take everything.

When she brought herself to look in his direction again, he was knocking on Agnese’s door. Agnese hun, take one for the team. You know something's up with them two. You saw it at the dinner. Please put us and them out our misery and bring this to an end 🙏🏼! I can only hope that this will happen, or Tommy putting an end to it. Because right now, he's acting on his hurt emotions.

I'm so scared for the next chapter 🙈. These two have been through so much already, that I have hard time believing that I've only read ten chapters of their story! Can't wait for more, Reb ❤️!

Heart, Body and Soul || Tommy Shelby x OC

PART X

Summary: mistakes were made the previous night, and Tommy and Nina are forced to come to terms with what the consequences of their actions will be.

Warnings: time-typical misogyny, talks of arranged marriage, talks of forced marriage, mentions of killing, mentions of violence, mentions of sex, angst, small age-gap (Tommy’s 30, Nina is in her early 20s). This is set between season 1 and 2. English is not my first language.

Important information for context: the honour killing and the shotgun wedding at the time in Italy were recognised by the Penal Code and were only abolished in 1981.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

SERIES MASTERLIST

Gif credits

Dividers credits

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

It took Nina less than a minute to realise that she had woken up in a bed that wasn’t hers, in a room that wasn’t hers, beside someone she wasn’t supposed to be lying with. Memories from the previous night flooded back to her mind in a powerful wave. The passionate but gentle touches, the reassuring words, the adoring glances of that man that had bursted into her life to sweep her off her feet and make her question everything, all in the name of something more intense than anything she had ever felt.

Her eyes trailed over Tommy’s face, tracing the regular line of his jaw, the small scar under his chin, the outline of his slightly parted lips, the curve of his nose, mesmerised by the way his long lashes brushed his freckled cheeks. There was no hint of the stern, cold facade he put on every single day. He looked relaxed. Peaceful, even. Once again, she found herself drawn to that beauty, a beauty that seemed carved from marble by God himself.

Shit.

Careful not to wake him, she got up to collect the stained bedsheet she had tossed on the floor the previous night, wondering how she’d manage to wash it without arousing the suspicions of her mother. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door just enough to make sure no one was in the hallway, half-convinced that her mother or her father would appear from nowhere and find out the disgrace she had brought upon the family.

Just fucking do it, she scolded herself.

After one last moment of hesitation, she walked out the room, closing the door behind her ever so slowly before sprinting towards her bedroom. As soon as she was in the safety of those four walls, she breathed out a sigh full of frustration, nervously dropping the items she was holding to the floor.

What the fuck had she done?

Her gaze was caught by the bloodstain on the bedsheet, red, vibrant. She kicked it in a corner of the room, unable to think under the accusatory looks it seemed to send her. What would she do now? Pretend nothing had happened, again? She couldn’t. She knew she couldn’t. How was she supposed to act normal around him, now that they had truly crossed the line? How was she supposed to even look Agnese in the eyes? She had betrayed her. She had betrayed her whole family. Not only had she ruined herself, she had ruined herself with her cousin’s future husband. A future husband who hadn’t even proposed yet because of her. Not to mention that she wasn’t just ruining a marriage, but she was ruining the only chance they had at peace for her own selfishness.

The scariest thing was that wasn’t even the worst part. If the thing were to come out, she’d be irremediably deemed as a whore. It wasn’t her reputation she was worried about, it was the consequences her family would face. The consequences she would face. She had tarnished the Ferrante name, and only her blood could wash that stain away.

Normally the options were two: a shotgun wedding or an honour killing, but in her case the choice was even more limited. Because while her father might consider marrying her off to Tommy, uncle Mario would never accept the offence. And everyone in the family would vote against the alliance with the Shelbys. She knew her father and brothers would never actually kill her. They would get angry, maybe even beat her, lock her in the family home for the rest of her days, but never that. They would’ve learned to live with the shame. But she had uncles, and aunts, and cousins who would want to clean their name.

No, the truth couldn’t come out. What had happened the previous night must never get past the walls of Tommy’s room. Even if it meant losing him forever.

That morning, Maria Ferrante was rather surprised to find out her daughter had woken up feeling particularly cooperative and decided to wash and change everybody’s bedsheets of her own free will. She was now hanging them out in the sun, under her incredulous stare.

“Even your brothers’?”

“Yeah, for when they’re back.”

That was new. Nina had always stubbornly refused to even set foot in Salvatore’s and Pietro’s rooms, adamant that it was their responsibility to keep their stuff clean. Maria figured that, just like her, she didn’t like it when her father sent them away on business, and that her worry had taken the shape of rare gestures of fondness. Or maybe she was just keeping herself occupied, as she always did when something troubled her.

The first assumption wasn’t too far away from the truth. Sure, Nina had her own interests behind that sudden prodigality, but getting their rooms ready for their return made her feel like they would, with no doubt, come back. Like nothing would go wrong.

“That cake I found in the kitchen,” her mother inquired again, and Nina had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes at her unrelenting interrogation. “Where did it come from?”

“I made it last night. Couldn’t sleep.”

A few seconds of silence followed, and it made her hope her mother was done with the questions. She had never been a good liar, not with the people who knew her well. Her face was an open book on which the truth stood out, black ink on pristine white paper.

“Nina,” Maria’s stern voice cut the air. “I know what’s going on.”

The blood froze in her veins. She thought she had been careful. She was sure no one had seen sneaking in or out Tommy’s room, all hell would’ve broken loose otherwise. There was no way she really knew. She swallowed, sending her a glance, completely unable to say anything.

Her mother’s face twisted in a sour expression, and her knowing eyes pierced right through her. “Stefano.”

Nina had to hold back a sigh of relief. She secured a pillowcase on the line, able to breath again now that she knew her secret was still safe. However, that name alone was enough to deepen the frown on her face, the mere sound of it making her skin crawl.

“You’re worried cause your father wants to give you to him.”

Give you to him. That sentence made her wrinkle her nose. She had always disliked that expression. Give you to him as if you’re a possession to be handed from one owner to another. Give you to him as if you’re a bargaining chip. Give you to him because you belong to me and you’re mine to give.

“I wanted that too,” Maria continued. “I thought he was good, but now I see. These men,” she lowered her tone, as if to tell her something meant for no one’s ears but hers. “They’re all the same. They’re cursed.”

It would’ve been an understatement to say that her words had taken Nina aback. That woman so defined by her role as a wife and a mother had now a look, an anger in her eyes she had never witnessed, that clashed with the meek acceptance she wore on her face every day. “Do better. Marry someone good. Someone honest, with an honest work. Leave this life behind while you’re still in time. I didn’t have that choice,” she shook her head, her features hardening under the weight of a pain that had been suppressed for too long. “I was poor, my family was starving, and when your father came to speak to my father I couldn’t choose. Your father has been good to me, and I grew to love him. But he is who he is and does what he does, and it’s not something easy to live with.”

Nina opened her mouth to speak, but closed it right away. Nothing she could possibly say after that was even remotely worth saying. All of a sudden, she regretted all the times she had cruelly told her she’d rather kill herself than end up like her.

Her eyes widened when her mother grabbed one of her hands and held it between both of hers, her calloused fingers a reminder of the years she had spent working to bring money to her parents. Maria Ferrante never spared herself when it came to show affection to her sons, but with her it was different. Nina had always believed it depended on the fact that she was not the daughter she would have wanted, or on the countless fights they had, or even on some kind of resentment she didn’t know how to justify. But the naturalness with which she brought her hand to her cheek to tenderly caress it carried a motherly love that left her speechless, and almost made her feel uncomfortable.

“Listen to me, find a good man. Or your father will choose for you and you’ll never get out of here. You will be cursed, and if you have sons, they will be as well, just like your brothers.”

Nina took a step back, the rage that had been simmering inside her ever since she was little threatening to rise to the surface and spill out. As a child, she had often imagined that feeling she couldn’t name as a stream of lava that would rise and rise until there was no room for it to grow anymore and it would overflow, implacable, ruthless, destroying everything it found in its path. Even now that she was older, even now that she had learned to recognise her anger, it still felt the same.

“I have a friend from church, who has a son. He lives in Florence now, but he’s here for the summer. I can arrange something-”

“Mum…” she interrupted her, not even listening at that point. But her mother went on, talking fast, as if she no longer had control over what she was saying.

“I can arrange something, and you can leave this life behind. You can come visit, from time to time. On holidays.”

“No one ever leaves this life, you should know it,” she murmured, trying hard to keep her calm. It was clear her mother wasn’t thinking straight, in her desperate attempt to spare her from the same destiny as her. Unaware that she was accidentally pushing her in a very similar direction.

As though that simple statement had managed to bring her back to her senses, Maria blinked, her expression changing.

“I won’t drag anyone else into this mess. And sure as hell I won’t marry a man just to escape another,” Nina said firmly. She wasn’t going to let Spinietta influence her decisions more than she had already did. She wasn’t going to let the fear make her stray away from her morals, her beliefs. She wasn’t going to lose herself.

Back to her composed demeanour, her mother straightened her shoulders, her voice hardening. “You’ll end up marrying Stefano this way. You know it.”

She was aware her mother was implicitly telling her that her father had made up his mind, and that she wouldn’t be able to help her. Yet, she wasn’t scared. Because she’d fight tooth and nail against it. They could drag her to the altar, take the vows out of her mouth by force, it wouldn’t matter. She would raise hell before she let them succeed. She would burn down the church and everybody in it, including herself. She’d die before she surrendered to a life that wanted her bent, broken, obedient.

“It shouldn’t be like this,” she said through gritted teeth.

“But this is what it’s like. It’s time for you to accept it.”

Bad news was received that day. Antonio Ferrante had written from England, saying that two of Sabini’s men had been caught trying to blow up his restaurant. In the letter, he specified that after a civil conversation about the motives of that unjustified attack, the two had walked away in cement shoes. A coded way to say they had been interrogated and then sent sleeping at the bottom of some river.

It was the first open act of war, and the family was worried it wouldn’t be the last. The strength they had demonstrated by thwarting Sabini’s plan and killing his men would buy them some time, but it wouldn’t be enough in the long run. That was why Tommy found himself sitting in Vincenzo’s office, trying to maintain his imperturbable facade as the Italian stood behind his desk in all his height, with a grave expression on his face. Tommy felt like he was studying him, searching for a sign of weakness that he could use against him, that he could use to make him cave. He recognised that look, cause it was the same one he wore whenever he needed to assert his power.

“I called you, Mr Shelby,” Vincenzo started, turning to grab a bottle of whiskey from a cabinet. “To remind you of your end of the deal.”

Tommy cleared his throat, sitting straight in his chair. “I intend to propose-”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Ferrante cut him off, brushing away the matter with a gesture of his hand. He took his time to pour the brown liquid in two glasses, before sliding one across the wooden surface in front of him and beckoning him to drink. Tommy gladly did as he said, the familiar taste of alcohol feeling necessary to face a conversation he wasn’t sure where would lead.

“You promised us men, in our war against Sabini.”

“And men you’ll have,” Tommy assured, switching to the tone he reserved for business. “As soon as I receive the compensation for the warehouse you blew up.”

That had been the result of strenuous negotiations, and to achieve it, not only had he given up on any kind of reparation for the two pubs under the Blinders’ protection the Italians had destroyed along with the warehouse, but he also had to offer some of his best soldiers. However, the war against Sabini was also in his interest, and the power and money he would gain were worth compromising.

With a single, satisfied nod, Vincenzo took a seat in his leather chair. “I am a man of my word, Mr Shelby. You’ll have your compensation,” he guaranteed, grabbing his whiskey. He swirled the drink in his glass, pondering his next words. “That being said, my brother has expressed his concerns to me…”

Here we fucking go.

“His concerns about your lack of a proposal.”

Tommy raised his eyebrows, bringing the liquor to his mouth to stall as his brain formulated an answer. “I still have two days, haven’t I?”

The shadow of a grin grew on the Italian’s face. “And you intend to wait until the very last one,” he pointed at him. “To keep us on edge,” he added, lowering his voice, the grin seeming to become less amused and vaguely threatening. Tommy’s shoulders tensed, but he didn’t falter, nor did he break his stare, for the faintest hint of vacillation would make him as exposed as a prey in front of a beast that could smell fear.

But then Ferrante cracked a smile, his tone lightening. “Or to enjoy what is left of your time as a free man before being handcuffed.”

Tommy let out a forced chuckle, tilting his head in agreement. For once, he couldn’t think of anything to say. What could he say? ‘Speaking of enjoying my time, I fucked your daughter yesterday night’? He would have his head right there and then.

He was in deep shit, and until he found a way to dig himself out, he needed to keep up the act. For himself, for Nina. He couldn’t make any decision without speaking to her first.

“I heard you’re a man of your word as well,” Vincenzo spoke again, snapping him out of his thoughts. “So I told him he has nothing to worry about. Don’t make me regret it.”

Although the last sentence held a clear warning, the Italian spoke calmly, as though he was asking him a favour, rather than admonishing him. He talked and acted like a man who didn’t need to make threats, who knew his word was law and no one would dare go against his wishes. Tommy knew that feeling all too well, he had gotten a taste of it during the past year, and it hadn’t taken long for him to get used to it, and to want more. But in that moment, in that place, he was on his own. Sure, his reputation preceded him, and it protected him to some extent, but he was outnumbered and at a disadvantage. So he had no choice but to comply. To take a step back in order to be a step ahead in the future.

“I won’t.”

“Good,” Ferrante leaned back in his seat, more relaxed now that the important stuff had been cleared out. “Cause Agnese is the apple of his eye,” he added, taking a cigar out of the pocket of his jacket. “His only wish is to see her happy.”

Things were far more complicated than Tommy had anticipated, and despite all his efforts to come up with a plan that would cause the least damage, he couldn’t imagine one scenario in which things didn’t go wrong. He could only take risks.

“Ah, daughters have their own special way of giving you a headache,” Ferrante murmured, waving the cigar. “If you have one, you’ll understand. You may go now, Mr Shelby.”

Clearing his throat, Tommy left the office, his mind endlessly mulling over the matter. He had his hands tied, and that feeling alone was enough for him to fume. No, he wasn’t going to have his hand forced, and he wasn’t going to let anyone scare him into a decision.

A newfound determination made its way inside of him. He was Thomas Shelby, for fuck’s sake. He didn’t need to ask anyone for permission. He took whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. He made the rules. He held the power. Those people needed him just as much as he needed them, if not more, otherwise he would be six feet under already. He wouldn’t make a choice that would suit everyone, he would make the choice that suited him. Him and the woman who was now carved in heart.

Because Nina would suffer the consequences of their actions as much as him, if not more. He had taken liberties with her, and although he had no regrets, he couldn’t pretend he didn’t have a responsibility toward her.

But it wasn’t just duty. He wasn’t going to make that choice because he felt guilty, or responsible, or because it was the right thing to do. He was going to make that choice because he thought they could make it work. He knew her, and she knew him. She had awakened feelings in him he thought would stay asleep for the rest of his days, she had made him believe that even he could have a chance at happiness. She didn’t look at him like he was a lost cause, or a devil, or broken beyond repair, she looked at him like there was something beautiful in him only her eyes saw. And if those eyes had found even a fragment of something worth saving, that meant that he wasn’t utterly unredeemable, that there was still an amount of good, no matter how small, that had survived the bad.

As soon as he walked into his room, he opened the drawer of his bedside table. The small velvet box was sitting there, next to the gun he had carefully kept hidden since his arrival. He knew what he had to do.

The weather had turned grey. The afternoon sun had been covered by dark clouds, and the air already smelled like rain. Nina had rushed out to take the laundry inside, hoping the storm that was approaching wouldn’t cause the efforts of a whole morning to go to waste. When she had finally come out of hiding - hiding was definitely the right word - she had quite literally ran into Tommy, almost knocking him over in the process, before scurrying away like a thief. And now there she was, still deeply embarrassed by her graceless flight, hurriedly putting the clean bedsheets in a basket.

She had been openly ignoring him all day. Or rather, avoiding him. She hadn’t shown up for breakfast, nor lunch, and she sought refuge in the closest room every time she heard him approaching. She wasn’t proud of that childish reaction, but she genuinely didn’t know how to act. The intensity of her feelings scared her. She was afraid that they would get in the way when the time to push him away came, that she’d yield to him again the moment her gaze met his.

“I’ve been looking for you.”

That deep voice made her hasty movements come to a stop. Her heart raced in her chest as she heard Tommy’s steps coming closer, until he was mere inches away from her.

“Here I am,” she mumbled, not sparing him a glance as she resumed folding the laundry in the basket.

“We need to talk.”

“Be quick, they can’t see us.”

Those words burned on her tongue as she spat them out. It hurt her to treat him like that, when what she actually wanted was to have him close to her again. But did she have any other choice? Indulging in those feelings had only caused trouble. She had to let him forget about her just like she needed to forget about him.

Tommy didn’t seem fazed by her hostility. He put a hand on her shoulder, gently guiding her to turn around. The contact roused the memory of his warm fingers trailing over her skin, and a shiver ran down her spine. His eyes searched her face, and there was a tenderness in them, a fondness that left her completely disarmed.

A lightning split the sky, followed by a crack of thunder, and the first drops of rain began to fall, bringing Nina back to reality.

“There’s not much to talk about,” she blurted out, abruptly taking a step back. “What happened yesterday can’t happen again.”

Tommy’s eyebrows knitted as she hastened to collect the rest of the laundry. He reached out to her, but she swiftly escaped his grasp, taking another sheet off the line. “Nina…” he tried again, but the more he got close, the more she slipped away from him. He rubbed his eyes, inhaling deeply. His patience was wearing thin at that point. He clenched his jaw, willing to make one last attempt to get her attention nicely. “Nina.”

Still nothing.

Fed up with that behaviour, he testily collected the rest of the laundry himself and threw it in a mess in the basket under her astonished stare. “Will you listen to me now?”

Surprisingly, there was no anger in his expression, nor annoyance, but there was still a hint of sternness that made her eventually give in. She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to speak.

Tommy shifted his weight from one foot to the other, Nina’s piercing gaze feeling like a knife cutting through him, unraveling and exposing the deepest parts of him. “What happened last night…” he trailed off, realising there were so many things he wanted to tell her that he didn’t even know where to start. “I overstepped, we-”

“We made a mistake,” Nina finished his sentence for him, trying to keep her voice steady despite the lump in her throat. “I made a mistake.”

She shouldn’t have opened up to him. She shouldn’t have gone to his room. She shouldn’t have kissed him. She shouldn’t have led him on when she knew nothing could ever happen between them. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she blinked them away, she didn’t want to let him see how much she was hurting herself as well, for she could sense that if he got even a glimpse of her real feelings for him, he wouldn’t give up. A futile attempt.

Tommy’s gaze softened at the sight. “Hey,” he whispered, delicately squeezing her arm. “Look at me.”

She didn’t. She couldn’t bear that look full of affection. It almost caused her to break down. The drizzle was intensifying, and she could only hope that if her tears betrayed her, he’d mistook them for raindrops.

He grabbed her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her face up to look at him. “We can make it right,” he said reassuringly.

“What do you mean?” she frowned.

Tommy hesitated for a moment, a nervousness equivalent to the one he had felt the previous night awakening in him. His hands started to shake, his heart to hammer in his chest. That was a point of no return which would either seal or break the bond that had formed so naturally between them. A bond he dreaded to lose. A bond he’d never have with anyone else.

Nina’s eyes widened as he took a velvet box out of his pocket, the realisation of what he was about to do crashing down on her.

“No,” she quickly took his hands in hers, keeping him from opening the box. “No,” she repeated, more softly.

“I know it’s a jump in the void,” he said, his hand going to cradle the nape of her neck. “I know. But we can make it work. You and me.”

“Tommy…” she shook her head. He was making it so difficult.

“I want you by my side. I don’t want a wife, I want a partner. Nina, I…” he paused, words getting caught in his throat. “I care about you.”

She squeezed her eyelids shut, pain spreading through her whole being at his revelation. She wanted to bring him close, to feel the warmth of his body against hers, to let herself be enveloped by the sense of safety his strong arms brought. Instead, she forced herself to pull his hand away from her, her fingers briefly tightening around it before letting it go.

“I don’t.”

Tommy looked at her as if she had just stabbed him. Hurt flashed across his face, causing a pang of guilt to hit her in the stomach. God, she felt like she could throw up.

“You’re lying,” he accused her in a hoarse voice.

“I’m not.”

“Liar.”

“Stop it.”

Why couldn’t he just leave? Why was he forcing her to inflict all that pain on him? Tommy was the last person she ever wanted to hurt, and in doing so she was hurting herself twice. By being the cause of his sorrow and by giving him up.

His body stiffened, and the heartbreak in his features disappeared to leave space for the coldness he constantly shielded himself with. “Say it. Say you feel nothing for me.” It sounded like an order, but Nina didn’t miss the crack in his voice. “Say it’s all in my head.”

Her mouth went dry, but she didn’t avert her gaze this time. “It’s all in your head.”

She felt empty. That one last lie had taken all the energy out of her, and left her with a feeling of numbness that made her lose all sense of herself.

Tommy nodded to himself, taking a step back. He wasn’t looking at her anymore. “You’re right. This was a mistake.”

With another clap of thunder, the sky broke open and the rain came pouring down. Nina rubbed her own arms in a soothing motion, watching as the lightning spread in the distance, drawing lines of light that flared and vanished into the grey above.

“You should go, Mr Shelby,” she murmured.

A muscle twitched in Tommy’s jaw, and for an instant he looked on the verge of saying something. Then he stormed off.

Nina let out a shaky breath, and the tears she had held back suddenly began to stream down her face. She covered her mouth to stifle a sob, the ache in her chest threatening to tear her apart from the inside. She shut her eyes tight, unable to watch his frame getting smaller and smaller as he walked away from her.

When she brought herself to look in his direction again, he was knocking on Agnese’s door.

Heart, Body and Sould tag list

@zablife @queenofshinigamis @raincoffeeandfandoms / @justrainandcoffee @call-sign-shark

@kmc1989 @babayaga67 @kmhappybunny240 @diorrfairy @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

@gaslysainz @brummiereader @loverhymeswith @fairypitou @prettywhenicry4

@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @woofgocows @girlwith-thepearlearring @goblinjnr @outlanderuniverse

@citylights31 @neonpurplestars89-blog @outlanderuniverse @red-riding-wood @evita-shelby

@look-at-the-soul @gathania93 @wonderlanddreamer

General tag list: @iamngoclinh08 @lilywinchesterlove @fandom-puff @capitanostella @caelys

@lucillethings @peakyxtommy @queenofkings1212 @lyarr24 @kmc1989

@call-sign-shark @jomarch-wannabe @ce1iat @red-riding-wood @optimisticsandwichgladiator

Tommy Shelby tag list: @50svibes

[leighbot]

“You did what?”

“Sorry, is the connection poor?” Harry asks, pulling the phone away from his ear. He isn’t sure if the acoustics of a phone booth are setup a specific way, but he can only shove one side of his body into the small booth. Maybe some of the sound is escaping.

Niall laughs. “It sounds like you said you bought a villa in Tuscany.”

“Oh, perfect, then it’s clear like crystal.”

A Zarry Under the Tuscan Sun AU I’ll probably never finish

[septembersghost]

okay, this is partial mass catch-up of tag games over the past three weeks 😘💖💖💖

tagged by @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie and @moonlayl

name: jess

star sign: virgo

height: 5′3"

time: 12:21 am mountain time as i start to type

birthday: september 13

favorite bands/artists: this is always one of the hardest things for me to answer because i love so many...but on the constant and current list: taylor swift, harry styles, niall horan, (i mean...1D by default since 2019 i'm not sorry, they became a very real source of joy at a time when i was desperately sad and have remained so), fall out boy, fleetwood mac, lord huron, florence + the machine, frank sinatra, barbra streisand, ella fitzgerald, sara bareilles, gabrielle aplin, lady gaga, sasha sloan, lizzy mcalpine (she's new to me but i'm saying her considering i've listened to her so often lately), idk an infinite number of artists i'm forgetting...i love music.

last movie: oh gosh. it might've been tick tick boom, i've barely watched movies lately!

last show: only murders in the building

when did i create this blog: november 2020, but i've been around tumblr since 2011-ish!

what i post: LOL. sweethearts, my little chili babies, you have seen this blog. i post...anything that catches my fancy. all my favorite things. i post a lot. i need help.

last thing i googled: "bald cartoon villain" @arthurwilde knows why 😂

other blogs: all my previous three blogs still exist and i periodically login to them to try and keep them from being deactivated, but i'm not actually on them anymore (i've thought many times about going back to or reclaiming @saferincages because i still think of this blog as temporary and that blog as home, but it feels wrong to do it somehow)

do i get asks?: i do and i appreciate them!

following: 170

average hours of sleep: uh. unfortunately i have no such thing because cfs/me is a curse upon my existence

instruments: sadly no

what i'm wearing: pink floral bambi pajamas

dream job: so i used to dream of being a voice actor (or singing voice) because i thought it would be so fun to embody characters and be able to pursue my passion for music without some of the stage fright that accompanies it when you're live in front of an audience, but in a more realistic realm i really would have loved to do something with music therapy to combine the passionate part of it with being able to help people.

dream trip: the south of france (it will never happen, ya girl is housebound)

nationality: american 

favorite songs: how on earth am i supposed to answer this, it's impossible ;___;

last book i've read: the not so chosen one by kate emery

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: rivendell from lotr, naboo from star wars (except not during the empire), whatever world they live in in the nightmare before christmas where i can walk between halloweentown and christmas land whenever i please 🎃🎄

besties this is only 23 questions and it said it was 30, i don't know where the other seven disappeared to!

***

tagged by @newromanticstv

a couple of these were the same as the above, so i only left the non-repeats!

relationship status: spinster

favourite colour: dusty rose pink

song stuck in my head: doomsday by lizzy mcalpine

something i want: to not be so terrified and worried every day? laughing/crying

***

tagged by @rogerhealey

fave color: since i already said my pink, let's add periwinkle blue!

currently reading: the baby-sitter's coven, next is don't tell a soul

latest song: the game of love by santana ft. michelle branch

latest series: better call saul (rewatch and S6), breaking bad (selective rewatch), bates motel, omitb, i need to catch up with what we do in the shadows (@rogerhealy i love that your list was all classics)

latest movie: if it wasn't the aforementioned tick tick boom, it was spiderman no way home, andrew garfield supremacy

sweet | spicy | savory (have to be careful with spice bc chronic illness issues)

currently working on: nothing planned!

***

tagged by: @endlesslydeath

post my top 5 tracks rn!

as i said, music questions are so difficult for me because i'm too emotional and attached! and if this is by current top plays i don't actually know lol, but i'm going to say on most frequent rotation lately are - satellite by harry styles, all my ghosts by lizzy mcalpine, my love by florence + the machine, johhny can't decide from the tick tick boom soundtrack, this love (taylor's version) by taylor swift

***

i am not tagging anyone to do these since it's several haphazardly mashed together, but as ever, you're welcome to take any of them and tag me so that i can see! <333 🥰

[island-in-the-shadows]

Weekly tag Wednesday but is Thursday!!

Thanks for the tag @im-getting-help ❤️❤️❤️

Name: Mari

Eye colour: Brown

Time Zone: Atlantic Standard Time (or GMT-4)

Favourite food: I am a bit of a foodie so this is a tricky question. I do love a good dessert too. I can narrow down to fave types of food for you, my native Puerto Rican food, Tex-Mex, Italian (both legit and Italian American and with Italian I know it varies depending on region of Italy but generally it's fantastic), Spanish food (my grandpa is Español so I did also partially grow up with it). Also fun fact: I became allergic to shellfish (shrimp, crab, lobster) as an adult despite liking it. Yay genetics, lol.

Curly, wavy, straight hair? A curly 3A. Though sometimes it'll collapse from the weight into a 2C. Either way I LOVE my hair.

Coffee or tea? Both, both is good. Coffee is almost a national beverage (certainly a major export for us) so yeah I am in that hype. Lol. I have 1-2 cups a day. HOWEVER, masala chai? Outstanding. A nice chamomile with some honey and some cookies? Delish.

One album to listen to for the rest of my life: Controversially, I am not a big music person. Comes from music (any genre from any year...yes even some Vibaldi) always sending me down a rabbit hole of stories. But when I do love music I LOVE it so, I'm gonna narrow it down. Lana's Born to Die, Florence's Lungs or Ceremonials, Billie's When we all fall asleep where do we go, Daisy Jones' Aurora are a few.

How many countries have you visited? Right, so this depends on whether stopovers at islands during a cruise count. If they do then 9. USA (Puerto Rico is a colony and so technically I still consider us our own country), Dominica, Barbados, St. Lucia, Belgium, Spain, France, Germany, and The Netherlands.

Fave social media outside Tumblr: I don't use anything else. I'm a weird little goblin person for this.

If you could be reincarnated as an animal...: Idk a pampered dog? A vampire if we consider them animals? A giraffe? A dolphin? Idk.

Relationship status: Absolute spinster, thanks for asking. But I always keep hope some day I won't be totally fucking alone.

Did you go to college (Uni) and, if so, what did you study? I studied English Literature.

Top 4 Films in just created Letterboxd account: [REDACTED CUZ CONTROVERSIAL], Pride & Prejudice (2005), (these next two fluctuate because, if you haven't figured it out, I'm an oddly fluid person) Cabaret (1972), Black Swan (2010)

What's one of your pet peeves? Being late. Or someone making me late. I prefer being half an hour early than even a minute late. Not only is it a pet peeve it causes me massive fucking anxiety.

What's one of your guilty pleasures? Bad movies. Odds are if KennieJD has covered it and I've seen it, it's a guilty pleasure. Like Showgirls and 365 and The Room. Stuff like that.

If you could learn any skill, what skill would you want to learn? Drawing or painting. That way I could illustrate my own stories!

Tbh most people I would tag are tagged so I'm not gonna repeat (we're all in a fun little circle and I love that). But feel free to do this if you come across it on your dash!

Weekly tag Wednesday thursday!!

Thank u for the tags @transsexual-dandelions & @sleepyheadgallavich

Name: mina

Eye color: brown

Time zone: CEST

Favorite food: savory

Do you have curly, wavy, or straight hair?: 3c hair, hate it, wish i had straight hair

Coffee or tea?: chocolate milk

you can only listen to one album for the rest of your life. which album is it?

Is this it by the strokes

how many countries have you visited? 3

favorite social media platform (other than tumblr): i dont have any other

if you had to be reincarnated as an animal, what animal would you want to be?: cat

Relationship status: eh

did you go to college (university 🇬🇧) and if so what did you study?: english and then commerce

you’ve just made a letterboxd account. what are your top 4 films?

 se7en, interview with the vampire, alien and silence of the lambs

What’s one of your pet peeves?: I hate small talk

What’s one of your guilty pleasures?: food

and finally, if you could learn any skill, what skill would you want to learn?:

programming but that would also require that i magically get creative

Tagging @im-getting-help @ib3li3v3you and @dante-transceratops

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Hi,

I’m Paty and Im from Mexico. I’m planning a 1w trip to Italy for next year (my tickets are for September), this would my first time in Italy and I was wondering if you can give me some tips and guidance about where to visit. I have only 7 days so I want to get the max of my time there but at the same time enjoy my trip 😁. I’m on a tight budget but I’ve reserved some money for sightseeing and of course for eating great Italian food.

The first stop of my trip will be Barcelona and from there I’m planning to fly to Italy, so I still don’t have tickets for the domestic flights.

Anyway thanks

P.S you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to ☺️.

Hello!! I'm really happy you have the opportunity to visit my country ^-^ Barcelona is also really beautiful, the Sagrada Familia is honestly the single most-jawdropping place I've ever been in but also the rest of the city is so pretty. Go to the Boqueri market for snacks and smoothies!

So, Italy . . . it really depends on what you want to do/focus on? It's September so it's still summer, if you want sea and beaches then you need to do to the south. If you want to sightsee and visit the historical cities and museums and stuff, well, there's historical cities and museums and stuff everywhere, but you might want to focus on the center and/or north. If you are willing to spend a bit more money on transportation, then you can buy fast train tickets (Freccia Rossa trains) that connect the big cities in short amounts of time, so you can, say, fly to Milan, visit Milan, take the fast train to Florence, then take the fast train to Rome, then take the fast train to Naples . . . but of course the fast train tickets are a bit expensive (the Milan-Rome trip is 50-60 euros for reference) so you might prefer to stay in a smaller area where you can travel via regular trains and not lose too much time. In which case I'd suggest Florence and the surrounding areas in Tuscany.

(It also really depends on whether you're like me and when you're on a trip you get possessed by a demon who wants to See All the Things And Walk Everywhere, or you're more or a normal human being.)

As someone who lives near Milan I'm quite partial to that city, but, well, one must to to Rome at least once in their life, right? Florence is a gem. Venice I usually forget when I do this kind of recs because my experience was quite negative, but only because my brother is a wheelchair user and the city is not quite accessible if you are not familiar with it, but, I mean, it's considered one of the most iconic and beautiful cities in the world for a reason.

Naples is a city I sooo want to see more of because I went on a shitty badly organized trip with my school a long time ago, but there are some incredibly beautiful places if you know where to look.

Palermo, in Sicily, is one of the best places I've ever been in imo, but of course Sicily being an island it might be a bit of a hassle to reach on a time-restricted schedule. But honestly, if you just want to see beautiful places and visiting Thee Famous Cities is not a priority for you, you could just make a trip around Sicily and be thoroughly happy with it. (September is still warm, but it shouldn't be as scorching as July and August are, so it should be fine to move around.)

The region Puglia is also soo beautiful (the "heel" of the boot but also reachable by fast train, so it can be a valid alternative to Sicily). I've never been to Calabria but it must be worth seeing too, possibly though less equipped with good/fast transportation because of its geography and stuff.

Let me know which things you're most interested in, and I can totally help you plan your trip more in depth!! If you're interested in, you know, ~less famous but still worth visiting~ places in stead of The Big Famous Cities, we can also consider that too. (Some people totally prefer smaller towns to bigger, more touristy cities, which is valid.)

Also let me know if you're interested in things like art museums, archeological museums/sites, nature/parks or more urban areas etc.

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically | Chapter 21-24

Summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast. friends to lovers, case of the week style story.

Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy

A/N; thee case in c21 is personal to me, like fictional revenge.

word count so far: 70K (chapter 1-25)

chapter 21

Having Spencer all to herself for 3 weeks straight was an experience she’ll never forget. They had the whole month of January off together, painting and re-decorating their home till it was exactly how they wanted it. It felt like home, it was theirs for real now.

Painting the bedroom green was the best idea she’s ever had. When the sun finally woke them up every morning, it wasn’t as blinding. It was paradise. The golden beams of light cast a beautiful glow around the room, it was like she was in a magic forest at the start of every day.

Spencer was laying on his back, his hair scattered on the pillow. He looked so peaceful, sleeping with his mouth wide open. Y/N was leaning on her elbow, looking down at the beautiful man she had the pleasure of spending the rest of her life with.

She brushed the hair off his face, watching his nose scrunch up as he felt her fingertips on his cheek. The sun on his face made him glow, he looked like a gift from god laying before her.

“Good morning baby,” she whispered softly. Dragging her finger along his jaw and down his neck, “we get to go to work today.”

Spencer stretched as he woke up, slipping an arm under her and pulling her into his chest. She held on tight, kissing his neck as she settled in. “Morning,” he replied. Raspy as ever.

“Wanna go get breakfast?” She asked softly.

He laughed against her skin, “gotta feed the baby.”

“And the wiiiife,” she teased.

“Not for another 11 weeks and 2 days,” he corrected her. “But yes, we should go get breakfast,” he whispered after a moment.

“Come on get up,” she replied with a big smile. He patted her ass as she peeled out of his grasp. Sitting up and stretching, taking a look down at the basketball protruding from her stomach. “Damn.”

“What?” Spencer asked.

She stood up beside the bed and pulled her shirt up, showing Spencer how big her stomach was. Turning sideways so he really got a good look at it. Spencer leaned over and kissed her right on her belly button that was beginning to pop.

“I know your ears are on in there, I love you, Matthew,” Spencer whispered against her skin.

She couldn’t stop smiling, taking a moment to rub her hands over the bump in amazement. “Hi Mr. Matty MaGoo, mommy also loves you.”

“Mr. Matty MaGoo?” Spencer laughed, looking at her with the biggest smile.

“Yes,” She laughed. “It just came to me, and it's going to stick.”

“Derek’s been calling him Mini G,” Spencer added.

“We should tell him it's Matthew, then he can be little Matty G,” Y/N swooned. “Seriously let’s go I miss everyone.”

“Okay, okay go get ready then,” he insisted, getting out of bed and dragging her to the bathroom.

—

Spencer drove, giving her a chance to look over her work emails before the day started. She was still CC’d on a bunch of VICAP things, being able to snoop on what was coming in and inspecting it.

Sometimes Mindy would CC her in just for an opinion.

Subject: Found Something. From; Mindy Patel To; SSA Y/N Y/L/N, Unit Chief SSA Aaron Hotchner, SSA-CL Jennifer Jareau

There’s been a child abduction in Arizona, I’ve pieced together some thing’s I’ve been working on in the background that might help the case if you are called in to assist. Even if you are not I believe you should take a look at this.

Mindy Patel, VICAP.

Attachment

Year: 1998 Victim 1: Emily Lawrence - 13. Kept till 16. Taken: August 3rd, 1998. Williams, AZ Found: June 10th, 2001. Camp Verde, AZ ME: decay has he placed at 48 hours postmortem when she was found - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.

Year: 2001 Victim 2: Olivia Tomms - 13. Kept till 16 Taken: August 3rd, 2001. Payson, AZ Found: June 23rd, 2004. Florence, AZ ME: decay has her at about 2 weeks postmortem. - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.

Year: 2004 Victim 3: Shelby Summers - 13. Kept till 16. Taken: August 3rd, 2004. Peach Springs, AZ Found: July 16th, 2007. Keams, AZ ME: decay has her at over a month postmortem. - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.

Year: 2007 Victim 4: Beth Green - 11. Kept till 13 Taken: August 3rd, 2007. Saint John, AZ Found: January 13th, 2010. @ flagstaff hospital. ME: COD complications from a miscarriage. Massive blood loss. - well taken care of. Throat damage. Signs of being detained long term. Info:good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped with remorse like he didn’t want her to die, and he felt sorry because he loved her.

Newest abduction: Name: Sally Irvine - 12 Taken: February 3rd, 3pm. Middle School pick-up (missing 13 hours now) Witness Report: Italian/greek man. Early 30’s. Claimed to be her parents assistant. Sally was used to going home with random people from her parents' work. Handsome man, very charming and convincing. He wore a suit and drove a Silver Honda Civic. Rust at the back, partial plate HC8.

“Fuck,” Y/N cried silently as she scrolled through all the information, even in a compact form.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, looking over at her with concern.

“Um,” she didn’t really know why she was reacting like this at first. Then it hit her. “Mindy sent me a case and it’s hitting a little too close to home.”

“Would you like to explain it yet? It’s okay if you want to process it alone,” Spencer comforted her easily like it was his second nature.

She let out a deep breath. “There’s a serial killer in Arizona that is kidnapping girls between 11 and 13, only keeping them 3 years. Every ME report says they have extensive internal throat damage, and 3 of the 4 found were never pregnant. This unsub is forcing them into oral for 3 years straight.”

“Fuck,” Spencer agreed. “I think we should take this one, if you can’t I would fully understand.”

“I think the unsub is my rapist.”

Spencer pulled over onto the side of the road. Putting the car in park and flashing the 4-ways. He turned to her softly and looked at her with a blank face.

“Walk me through it.”

“What?”

“If I’m going to go in there with you and tell Hotch that this is the same guy who hurt you, then you’re going to need to explain it to him and the team,” Spencer explained softly. “You’ve never even told me the full story, I don’t know anything about that summer other than the fact something happened. The first time you repeat this in front of me is going to be hard, and I don’t want you to have to do that in front of all of them.”

She couldn’t help herself from letting out a small sob, “okay.”

She took a few minutes to collect her thoughts, and calm down enough to get full words out of her mouth.

“When I was 12,” she started. “My mom went back to work, and she didn’t trust me to watch my brothers because they were rowdy and never listened to me. Like you said, they were more like my older brothers.

“My dad’s best friend, Jimmy, his wife had MS so she was home all the time. They had 3 older children and a few foster boys, she was used to lots of kids being there. And she had a pool to keep us occupied,” she bit her lip before she explained anymore.

“My mom’s birthday is June 8th. That’s when victim 1 was murdered,” was the first fact she explained that related to the case. She handed Spencer her phone so he could read and follow along.

“My dad is a Mason with the Masonic Lodge in Los Vegas, and he was becoming the master of his division on my mom's birthday that year, so we rented a hall and had a big party. Jimmy’s foster son was there, you remember Christopher Torsey? He was a freshman and I was in grade 6, about to enter grade 7, that was when the grooming started. He took me into the back room and asked if anyone had ever kissed me, I said no. He leaned in and kissed me in the dark and I was a giggly mess.

“My parents and his were really friends and he would come over all the time, our dads would drink in the backyard with our mothers till 1 in the morning most weekends. So I spent long periods of time with this boy for a few years, trusting him like a friend before he started anything. That summer he would always find a way to wander off with me, at first it was just kissing in different places where we could be alone together. Then he would touch my boobs, and he had me take my shirt off a few times.”

Spencer looked calm, but the redness in his face and the pulse in his neck told a different story. Her breathing got heavier as she had to recall it all, and she didn’t want him to be so upset.

“We worked at a local church camp together that July, we’d do crafts and sing songs and after all the kids left and we had to clean up, he’d find a way to take me to the room where they held the nativity scene out of season. He’d start kissing and touching me like normal, and then Kendra walked in once and saw and suddenly he went from obsessed with me, to disgusted, saying I came on to him and that it was all me. He was disgusted by me when we were in public, but he loved me apparently behind closed doors.”

“On August 3rd,” a tear slipped down her cheek. “The day the girls go missing. That was the first time he took me back to the shed and said ‘when two people are in love, they do things, and I love you. So you have to,’ He took his, you know, and I’d never seen one before. It was scary and I didn’t want to, I wanted to leave, but he pushed me against the wall and down to my knees.” She had to stop to take a breath, Spencer was crying silently as he watched her explain it all.

“He kept me trapped there while he did it,” she explained. “The worst part is that his parents were hosting a wedding that night, so no one could hear me basically screaming no over the music. He knew that. And so, when I complained about the sore throat the next day, my parents thought it was from all the singing.”

Spencer let out a shaky breath, he looked at her with so much love and sadness, she knew he loved her. She reached across the centre console and wiped the tears off his face, pecking his lips softly before sitting back to continue.

“The dates match up, he was Italian, they’re all 11-13 with throat damage,” she ran it down. “It’s him.”

Spencer licked his lips, wiping the tears off his face before taking a deep breath. “Okay, let’s go tell Hotch.”

Aaron stood up from his desk after Y/N explained the situation, walking up close to her with a sad smile on his face, “this was a very hard thing to come forward with. How would you like to participate in the investigation?” He was soft with her for the first time, it was surreal.

“Um, I’d like to come with you to Arizona,” she said softly. “when Garcia finds him, I’d like to be the one to interview him.”

“Do you think that is a wise idea?” He asked softly.

“When I was 16, years after everything happened. I went to Jimmy’s house for an event, and Christopher was there, and I went to his room. I was so desperate for the bullying to stop. For the lies, he had told about me to go away, that I went in there and apologized to him,” her voice almost disappeared as she got to the end of the sentence. Crying in disbelief. “2 years later he started abducting. I apologized to my rapist and he started kidnapping girls. I need to look him in the eyes and find out why he did it.”

“Okay, let’s tell the team.”

Y/N and Garcia spent an hour building the case files and compiling all the data they had on Christopher Torsey. Joining the team in the briefing room, where Spencer had already relayed the events to the team. Y/N didn’t need to describe it all 3 times in 2 hours.

She passed all the folders out, trying to avoid the looks the team gave her. They were sorry, they respected her, they wanted revenge for her. She knew it all came from a place of love, however, she hated being perceived by others.

It was a trauma thing. For so long people had the wrong idea about her, she was bullied and put down, and hated for no reason. She hates any form of attention, the glances and staring, the whispers of rumours being told as fact. It was stressful.

“Before we start,” she started softly. “Thank you in advance for your concerns, but I’ve been in therapy for 10 years. I’m very happy, this is gonna fuckin’ suck, but at the end of the day I’m coming home to a man who loves me, a baby on the way, and the best friends I can ask for. He’s going to prison. I win.”

Derek smiled at her, “that’s my girl. What did you find?”

“Christopher Torsey was born in November of 1979. His father was extremely abusive, he was in the ER a lot by the time he was 11. His mother killed herself in front of him when he was 12, he also watched his father rape his mother according to his child therapist,” Garcia started. Not knowing how to say the next part without Y/N crying.

“He uh, he said that his dad would tell his mom to be quiet. That-uh, I’m sorry, shouldn’t you say this?”

Y/N stepped in without a second thought. “He said that his father would hold the fact that he loved her over her head to force her into having sex with him. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

“He’s our guy for sure. Do we have an address?” Prentiss asked.

“Yeah, he lives in a double-wide trailer in Cottonwood. Near the back with his own access to the main road,” Y/N explained. “I knew he moved to Arizona when Jimmy finally kicked him out. I haven’t heard from him in years.”

“Y/N is coming with us, wheels up in 20.”

—

Cottonwood PD waited for them to arrive before apprehending him. They were concerned that he would run, with his access to the woods and a four-wheeler in his possession, it was a matter of boxing him in quietly with a backup plan in place and men on the ground.

“Can I suggest something?” Y/N cut into the Police Chief and Hotch’s conversation.

“Sure.”

“Um, what if I walk up in our civilian clothes, and just pretend that we’re there to rub it in his face that I'm happy and in love,” Y/N suggested. “I can wear a wire, you can be in a surveillance van listening in. You’ll be right there if we see Sally or sense something’s up.”

“Are you sure you can do that?” Hotch asked her.

“I am,” she turned to Spencer, “if you can control your temper you can come. If not, I’ll show up with Derek and still rub it in his face that someone loves me now.”

Spencer sighed deeply as he contemplated it. “I’ll kill him,” he admitted. “Take Derek.”

“Let’s get suited up,” Derek patted Spencer’s shoulder. “I won’t let him hurt her again. Don’t worry.”

“I know.” Spencer looked disappointed.

Everyone left the room, leaving Spencer and Y/N alone. She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug resting her face against his chest. He softly held her in return, rubbing his hands along her back with his cheek on her head.

“I love you, forever and always,” She reminded him. “And I know how much you love me, believe me. I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I didn’t truly believe Chris was wrong.”

She pulled back when she felt a tear on her head. She wiped it softly with her thumb as he leaned his cheek into her palm. “I am loveable, and you love me. I win.”

He laughed softly, “I won too.”

She pulled him into a soft kiss, “I’ll be back in your arms soon.”

“I’ll be in the van watching the whole time, I love you so much,” he added for good measure.

She smiled as she walked away, throwing a fist in the air like the end of the breakfast club. Knowing full well he’d never get the reference. JJ on the other hand, laughed as she followed with Spencer.

They changed into regular clothes, getting in a car from the impound lot and following the surveillance van. Morgan was quiet, Y/N knew he wanted to talk to her, to go over the plan, but he didn’t know how to. The wire wouldn’t be on till they walked out, giving Y/N and Derek their privacy if he ever chose to speak.

“Did you ever confront your guy?” Y/N asked.

He nodded, “Carl Buford. I got to show him who I am now, that I put men like him behind bars. That I’ll always win.”

“Is it a good feeling?”

Derek set his hand palm up on the centre console, looking at her softly as if to ask her to take it. She interlocked their fingers, he rubbed his thumb against her skin.

“You’re right, it fucking sucks. The original pain never goes away, but there is a content feeling knowing he won’t get to hurt another person, that he might get his ass kicked in prison,” he smiled that beautiful Derek smile. “I’ll always be here for when you need someone who gets it.”

“Thank you,” she smiled.

They pulled into the trailer park slowly, separating from the team as they approached Christopher’s trailer. “Just pretend you’re Spencer, treat me the way he would. I know Spencer tells you everything, go off of memory of what he’s said about me.”

“You know he tells me everything?” Derek asked softly, laughing a little to himself.

“Because he also tells me everything,” she smirked. “When he’s tired and he rambles, he tells me about his whole day and that includes when he asks you for advice.”

“You two are gross,” he smiled. “I hope I can replicate it.”

“Come on,” she laughed, getting out of the car and waiting for Derek at the hood.

She took his hand before walking up to the door, a hand on her belly to make it look bigger. Really wanting to show off that she was in a better place than he was.

She knocked, 3 times, stepping back so he could open the door. She didn’t feel scared, she felt anxious in excitement to watch Derek take him to the floor.

“Y/N?” She heard his voice for the first time in 13 years. “What are you doing here?”

“My therapist suggested that I come here and show you someone actually did end up loving me, regardless of what you said,” she explained.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he panicked, flashing his eyes back and forth between her and Derek.

“I can come in and explain it for you if you’d like?” Y/N smiled. “You’ve got nothing to hide I assume? I’m just wildly obsessed with you and a liar right? That’s what you told everyone so I wouldn’t be able to say you forced my head on your dick with the promise that you loved me.”

“I- I uh,” he stuttered. Starting to shake lightly.

“That’s what you do to all the girls, isn’t it, Chris?” Derek cut in, pulling the screen door open and watching as Christopher ran to the back of the house. “We got a runner!!” He announced to the wire.

Y/N didn’t run after him, she knew the team had him. She walked through the house to watch from the back door. Only to find Spencer stiff-arming him.

Christopher flipped over Spencer’s arm, hitting the ground before Spencer was on top of him. Spencer punched him in the face, once, twice, three times before he stopped. Sitting over the unconscious man as he caught his breath. Everyone just watched him. He rolled Christopher over, cuffed him and walked away into the woods.

Y/N carefully jogged into the yard, passing the bleeding and groaning asshole she used to know as she ran after Spencer. He was walking too fast, and he didn’t look like he was going to stop.

“Spencer Walter Reid!” She yelled at him as if she was his mother. “Stop.”

He stopped abruptly, huffing as he did so. He only turned around to face her when she finally caught up to him. “Don’t touch me yet,” he instructed her.

“Okay,” she stopped a foot in front of him. “Look at me, breathe. In and out.” She used her hands as she motioned a breath in, and a release out. She repeated it 4 times, watching him do the same.

“Can I hug you now?” She asked softly.

He nodded, stepping into her space and wrapping himself around her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“It was actually really appreciated,” she laughed. “I was debating if having a baby at 22 weeks was worth punching him in the face a few times.”

Spencer laughed softly into her shoulder. Squeezing her in his grasp as he breathed her in. “I love you.”

“I love you, more,” she smiled against his neck before pressing a soft kiss to his ever-beating pulse. “Let’s go see the team, come on.”

Y/N was adamant about searching the trailer with the team. Going to the surveillance van for a vest and gloves while Christopher was taken to the police station, and Spencer had his hand wrapped up.

It still smelled like him in there. The smell of his detergent mixed with smoke from the fireplace. It never changed. She noticed his PlayStation was on, he was still interested in games. He still slept with the brown comforter that was on his bed when she was 12. It was worn down, holes gathered at the bottom as it was almost see-through now.

She opened the closet to see a very large metal safe in its place. She took a deep breath, looking at the keypad to see what numbers had been worn down the most, guessing his password.

0803

It popped open, it made her feel sick to her stomach. As she opened it, she heard the muffled screams behind duck tape. Sally Irvine was tied up, hunched over in a tiny metal box while he played GTA.

She wanted to kill him.

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” she shushed the girl. “Sally, my name is Y/N. We’re here to take you home, you're safe now.”

Y/N took the tape off Sally’s mouth softly, the girl sobbed immediately. Not able to say a single thing as Y/N untied her and held Sally in her arms. Sally hugged her back as tight as she could, sobbing into her shirt as Y/N rocked her back and forth. Crying along with her.

“He did it to me when I was 12 too,” Y/N whispered.

Sally pulled back and looked at her with puffy eyes, “really?” She asked. Her voice low and scratchy.

“JJ can you get some water?” She called behind her. “Yes. I was his first.”

“Y/N,” the girl repeated. “That’s what he called me?”

She couldn’t stop the sick feeling in her gut, “let’s get you out of here.” She changed the topic, helping the little girl to her feet and to an ambulance.

Y/N smiled at her as she dropped her off with the EMTs, walking off into the woods as quickly as she could. She leaned over, holding her own hair back as she threw up on the ground.

She swatted away at the hand rubbing her back suddenly, continuing to hurl in the bushes as she heard them behind her, shushing her. She wiped her hand on her mouth before she calmed herself down.

She sighed and turned around to see Morgan. His arms were open for her to hug him, she buried her face in his chest as she cried. Not able to fully process all the information she just heard.

“Let’s get you home,” Derek whispered. Escorting her back to the car, she was done for the day.

chapter 22

Valentine’s day had come and gone by the time they finished their most recent case. Landing in Quantico very late on the 16th of February. Everyone departed the plane slowly, half asleep after the 3-hour flight.

“Did you guys miss any plans?” Y/N asked JJ and Emily as they walked together.

“Yeah,” Emily sighed, “I uh, I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Since when?” JJ asked, both her and Y/N suddenly not tired at all. They stopped on the tarmac and stared at her.

“Um, a few months now,” She blushed.

“Was this the sin to win weekend?” Y/N asked softly.

Emily nodded, “what’s sin to win?” JJ asked just as quietly.

“It’s a weekend for gay people in Atlantic City,” Emily replied. “It’s an easy way to mingle in a safe space.”

“Oh,” JJ was shocked. “Oh, so you’re, and you too?” She pointed at both of them as the information was processed.

Y/N and Emily smiled at her and laughed. “Bi? Yes,” Y/N replied.

“I’m still not sure,” Emily added. She sighed deeply, shaking her head as she tried to speak again. “I’ve never really enjoyed male company? It feels more like a performance than a relationship.”

“I mean good for you for noticing that now, if it wasn’t for Spencer I’d be in the same boat,” Y/N smirked at her. “He’s more than just a pretty face.”

“Wow,” JJ was shocked. “I would’ve never known.”

Emily placed her hand on JJ’s back, leading her towards the charter back to headquarters, “oh you poor, poor, heterosexual woman.”

“She has a cat, she cuts her bangs when she’s stressed and she bites her fingernails,” Y/N explained to JJ as they picked their seats. “She likes pussy, JJ.”

Emily smacked her arm lightly, all of them laughing hysterically. The boys walked onto the bus to their cackling, desperately wanting to know what was so funny.

“I was just telling them, I met someone and I’d like for you to all meet her soon,” Emily explained to the rest of the team. “I think you’ll really like her.”

“No way,” Derek smiled, high-fiving her. “Congrats dude, welcome to the dark side.”

“You too?” JJ was shocked. “Okay, put your hand up if you’re a straight person,” she stretched her arm into the air. Hotch and Rossi joined her.

“Really?” Spencer and Y/N looked at each other with excitement.

“What the fuck?” JJ was dumbfounded. “How did I not know this?”

“It just never came up before,” Derek shrugged. “Tell us more about this girlfriend of yours, Prentiss.”

“Or,” Y/N cut in. “you could bring her to Vegas in April.”

“Why?” Emily smirked at her.

“If you’re all free on April 23rd,” She teased them along. “Spencer and I would like you to come to our wedding at my parent’s house.”

“Oh!” JJ and Emily freaked, “holy shit!”

“So, you guys are in?” She laughed.

“Yeah!”

For 2 in the morning, the bus was the most excited they had ever been. And Penelope didn’t even join them on this trip. Normally it was her making this kind of excitement, Y/N basked in the happiness that filled the bus.

They discussed little details on the way to their cars, standing in the garage for a good 15 minutes as they planned the dates they’d need to arrange to have off. Hotch knew he could pull some strings to use everyone’s vacation time for a few days.

They exchanged hugs before breaking apart for the night. Planning to return around noon that same day. Giving them a sweet 9 hours of peace and quiet.

“We still need to invite Penelope,” Spencer whispered when they were halfway home. Interrupting the silence that Y/N was enjoying.

Y/N laughed softly, watching him drive with a smile on his face. “I only told the rest of them because Penelope somehow hacked into my calendar app, to plan a baby shower around my schedule, and saw the plans.”

“Of course,” he nodded along.

“So yeah,” she smiled. “She’s told me that she wants to throw me a baby shower/bachelorette party now.”

“That would be nice,” Spencer agreed, squeezing her thigh where his hand was always glued to her.

“If we even get more time off before the wedding, I’m crossing every appendage on my body in the hopes all the psychos take the day off!” She laughed, twisting her arms and legs in a demonstration.

He laughed, leaning against the wheel as he tried to keep his focus on the road. “I love you.”

“You better!” She teased him.

It went quiet again. She could hear the tires on the sandy slush. The grinding of pressure as the snow compressed into the tire tread. Small rocks being flicked up from the wheels, smacking the underbelly of the car as they approached their house.

She sighed as she saw the place, the beautiful green door illuminated by the porch light. Screaming ‘welcome home!’ As they pulled into the parking spot.

Sleep surprisingly came easier to her the more pregnant she got. She was used to laying on her left side now, she actually preferred it, because it means that every morning when she woke up, the sun came in just perfectly to make Spencer glow.

The alarm on Spencer’s table started to beep letting them know it was 10:30. She softly watched him roll over and smacked the machine before turning back to her and closing his eyes once more.

“No.”

She huffed in a silent laugh, getting closer to kiss the tip of his nose. “Time to wake up,” she whispered between kisses spread across his face.

He was trying his best not to smile as she peppered his skin with kisses. Pushing him onto his back so she had more skin to cover. It had been a while since they did anything together.

Between the cases and the baby, and everything Spencer learned about her past trauma. He’s been a little distant, and it was starting to make her worry. Dr. Korrapati promised that this sudden burst of anxiety was normal at this stage of pregnancy. It was what contributed the most to the nesting phase, but it still scared her.

She wanted to kiss him, to run her hand down his chest and palm over his boxers until she couldn’t take it anymore. So she did, just a little more seductively.

She moaned softly as she kissed the patch of skin under his ear and down his neck softly. She dragged her fingers over his skin, looping around his nipple as she sucked on his neck. She lifted her leg lightly over his, trying to get some friction between her legs as she kissed him.

“We should probably just go to work,” Spencer softly interjected.

She sighed, dropping her forehead against his shoulder and letting her shoulders slouch.

“I’m not broken!” She sat straight up as she yelled at him. “Can I please just fuck my boyfriend? I have been horny for Weeks,” she wasn’t sure where the sudden burst of emotion came from.

“Oh,” he sat up too, resting his hand on her back softly. “I didn’t realize you wanted to after everything, and the baby? You’ve had a rough few months.”

She laughed lightly, “Spence, of course I do?”

She looked at him softly, cupping his jaw in her hand. “I’ve had to process my trauma before. Yes, it’s still bothering me, and yes I have new trauma that I need to address with my therapist. But,” she emphasized. “I am a woman with needs, and one of those needs is getting railed before work by Doctor Reid.”

“You’re one hundred percent sure?” Spencer asked again.

She smiled and nodded, pushing him back down against the pillows. She resumed her last position, putting her leg between his so they could grind lightly and make out. “If it gets to be too much, I’ll ask you to stop.”

“Okay,” Spencer looked up at her, brushing her hair behind her ear as she hovered over him. “I love you.”

“Prove it,” she teased him, leaning in and kissing his neck again.

He reached behind her to grab her ass, she had noticed his hands gravitating there more as she gained pregnancy weight. She wasn’t complaining either, the way his hands felt on her skin was glorious.

He was putty in her hands, tilting his head to the side so she could kiss, lick and suck wherever she so pleased. She reached her free hand into his hair while he other kept her steady, in the perfect spot to grind against his boney hip.

He was all gasps and heavy breaths underneath her, she raised her leg lightly dragging it over his hardening erection before putting herself back in place. Just wanting to see how far along he was.

She rolled onto her back then, laying flat, waiting for him. He pushed his underwear to his ankles as he flipped on top of her. She was nothing but giggles as Her Spencer came out to play.

Opening her legs, she greeted him back into her grasp as he hovered over her. Both hands planted against the pillow as he looked down at her. His hair falling into his eyes, she pushed his hair back behind his ears.

“You might need a haircut soon,” she teased him, biting her lip softly.

“Shhh,” he whispered.

She took his right hand from beside her head, gripping him by the wrist and guiding him towards her mouth. Taking his middle and ring finger in, sucking on the digits softly. Making him release a sound she’s never heard before.

She looped her tongue around his fingers, spreading them lightly as she licked a stripe through them. Feeling his skin against her teeth, which only seemed to excite him more.

She pulled off with a pop, he looked mesmerized by the trail of spit that connected her bottom lip to his wet fingers. “Fuck,” he gasped as his breathing hitched.

“You know where to put them,” she whispered up at him, staring into his eyes as she bit her lip.

He kissed her quickly, pulling her forward so he could get the t-shirt she was still wearing off her body, throwing it off the bed as he kissed her neck, sucking a mark into the skin as he pushed his hand into her panties.

“Jesus,” he whispered against her neck as he felt how wet she was. “You weren’t kidding.”

Making her twitch slightly as he used the two fingers that were just in her mouth, to drag up and down on her clit. Rubbing it back and forth between the two knuckles.

“Fuck,” she breathed out as she gripped his hair. Palming his scalp while he kept kissing her neck.

She could feel him grinding against the bed as he kissed her, moaning against the space under her ear as he quickened his finger movements.

“I need you to fuck me, like yesterday,” she panted against his mouth, licking his bottom lip after.

He pulled away from her then, lifting her hips to drag her panties down. Keeping them on one of her ankles as he gripped the base of his cock and sat on his knees.

The sight between her legs was phenomenal. The glow of the sun on the lake through the windows as Spencer stroked himself in front of her.

Suddenly, he took both of her knees in his hands. Pushing them to her chest slightly before flipping her over. Extending her hips as he held her ass up. Kissing each cheek softly before straightening his posture.

“Ready?” He asked, she wasn’t expecting it.

Her face pressed into the pillow as she tried to find the best position to support herself. Pushing her hips back in a silent yes. He understood her body language, lining himself up with her and slowly pushing in.

She pushed back against him as well, moaning as she took all of him. “Finally,” she sighed, wiggling against his hips.

He gripped her hips, pushing her off abruptly before slamming back in. She was shocked, letting out a gasped moan as he fucked into her. Taking the instructions too literally, railing her.

She had never been that loud before in her life. Concerned Rossi would be able to hear them from across the lake, but it didn’t stop her. Only enticing him to keep it up.

She pressed her face into the pillow more as she attempted to reach her clit. She couldn’t, “fuck, Spence?”

“Yeah?” He slowed.

She took his hand off her hip, “can’t reach.” Her breath was erratic as she tried to explain.

“Aw poor bunny,” he teased her, slowing to a grind as his fingers ghosted over her clit. “Can’t get yourself off anymore?”

“Please daddy?” She let it slip, feeling his cock twitch inside of her as she did.

He leaned forward, kissing her shoulder softly. “Tell daddy what you want, use your big girl words.”

She pushed back against him, raising herself from the pillow to look over her shoulder at him. “I was going to say breed me, daddy.” She teased, watching his entire personality change. “But it looks like you already did.”

He licked his lips, pushing his hair out of his face as he shook his head at her. “You’re going to regret that.”

She pressed her face back into the pillow and perched her ass back more, ever the invitation. He ran his hand softly over her asscheek, slapping it before he started to fuck her again, reaching around to rub her clit, like she asked, ever so nicely.

They found their rhythm then, pushing against each other in just the right way. Between her deep breathing and the moans she released, the only other thing she could only hear was the sound of their skin slapping together as Spencer fucked her harder than ever before.

“Fuck, sweet Jesus I love your cock,” she praised him, punching into the pillow as she pushed herself back into him, on all 4’s now.

Using his free hand, he spread his fingers through her hair. Gripping her at the roots and pulling her head back as he slammed into her.

“Yes, daddy,” Y/N panted as she felt herself get closer to the edge. “Right there.”

“Cum for me bunny,” he instructed her, “let me fill your perfect little cunt.”

She came with a shout, pushing back against him as his words pushed her over the edge. Not being able to ever say no to that man, feeling his hips shake as he tried to fuck her through his own orgasm.

He pulled out, flipping her limp body back over so she could lay on her back, releasing the pressure on her stomach. Legs still spread as he observed his handiwork, scooping it up with his fingers and pushing it back inside of her. Making her clench up at the feeling.

“Spence-“

“Too much?” He smirked down at her.

She nodded, catching her breath as he just sat there. Still, on his knees, cock now soft and resting against his leg. She preached herself up on her forearms, shaking her head at him as she bit her lip.

“Where the fuck did that come from?” She asked him.

“I have no idea,” he laughed. “But hypothetically,” he bit his lip and raised his eyebrow. “I wouldn’t mind revisiting that on a later date.”

She laughed, dropping back against the sheets. “Me either.”

—

She waddled from the car to the elevator. A mixture of pregnancy and over-extending her hips, exercising with Spencer. Lamaze class more specifically, if anyone asked.

“I should really start calling you ducky,” Spencer whispered in the elevator.

“I hate you,” she bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.

“Really?” He teased her, “because if I recall 27 minutes and 15 seconds ago when you were saying ‘fuck, sweet Jesus, I love your cock,’” he whispered into her ear.

The elevator doors opened as her jaw dropped, “notice how I specified which part, Doctor Reid?” She answered abruptly, walking out towards her coworkers.

“So that’s how it’s going to be?” He said as he followed her. Making everyone turn around to see them.

“What’s going on?” Morgan noticed it first.

“Nothing,” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Just correcting the genius.”

“On?” Prentiss pried.

“Well this morning she said and I quote-“

“I will cut your balls off and hang them from the mirror in my car,” she snapped, glaring at him as she pointed her finger in his direction.

“Mama’s got claws,” Morgan laughed at them. “Damn.”

Spencer wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek in front of everyone. She turned pink, pretending to be pissed while a smile crept onto her face.

“She loves me,” Spencer smiled, pressing their cheeks together.

“One part, it’s nice to me and doesn’t talk back,” she replied, making everyone laugh as Spencer shook his head.

“Okay, you win,” he put his hands up in surrender as he backed away. Opening the door to the bullpen and disappearing behind his desk.

chapter 23

St. Patrick’s Day was never a holiday that Y/N or Spencer really cared for. Yes, they wore green to work, but other than that they didn’t really see the hype. They were Halloween people.

Will and JJ, on the other hand, went all out.

It was something to do with Will’s love for beer and his frat-boy attitude. Explaining to them that morning in the bullpen that the best parties on his college campus were around St. Patrick’s day and Mardi Gras, making February and March party central in his life.

They walked in with little Henry, decked out in green from head to toe. Green beads around his neck, gold chocolate coins in a basket, and the cutest little shamrock light-up head bopper.

“Look at you!!” Y/N called out to Henry as she walked into the room. Opening her arms up and leaning down to pick him up as he ran into her arms.

“Any Y/N!” Henry called her, not being able to say his T’s yet.

She pressed his tiny cheek against her face as she picked him up and snuggled him against her chest. It was getting harder to pick him up now that she was pregnant but she wasn’t going to miss a Henry snuggle.

“Since when did the FBI consult with leprechauns?” She asked him, booping her nose against him.

“Nooo,” Henry leaned back in her arms, “I’m not a leopard-con,” he tried his best to say the word. Making the team all laugh.

“Well, either way, why’s my favourite little guy here today?”

“Hey?” Spencer complained.

She leaned her elbow into him, “hi unca Spence,” Henry smiled at him. Spencer ran his fingers through Henry’s hair, messing it up under the headband.

“He wanted his godparents to see his outfit before the party at daycare today!” JJ explained with excitement.

Y/N placed him back on his feet, “go on the, show it off!”

He walked around the room, doing a fake model strut as he shook his diapered butt, walking towards the stairs before running back. “Woooow!” Everyone clapped and cheered.

Y/N looked up from Henry’s gaze, seeing Emily in Hotch’s office with a blond woman she didn’t recognize, “what’s going on in there?” She pointed.

“They’ve been in there all morning,” Rossi explained. “I think that’s the girlfriend.”

“How so?” Spencer asked, moving across the room to get a better view through the blinds.

“The way Emily leans against her, hand on her arm like that as she speaks. That’s the same way you and lady boy-wonder act when you’re in there together,” Rossi raised an eyebrow at them.

“Ahh,” Y/N smirked. “I wonder what happened, no one talks to Hotch with the door closed unless they need us to look into something.”

“I’ve gotta go,” Will cut in, scooping Henry up from the carpet with a tight-lipped smile.

“Bye buddy,” Y/N scrunched her nose at him, getting in close to press their noses together. “Have a good day today.”

“Bye, love you,” JJ kissed both her boys and watched them leave the room.

“they’re the best,” Y/N said as she wrapped an arm around JJ.

“Anyone want to go sit and have coffee while we wait for them?” Derek asked prior to a long yawn.

Rossi patted Derek on the back, leading him up the stairs and towards the briefing room. The remaining team members following their lead, discovering fresh donuts and flowers waiting for them.

“A gift for helping in advance, -Noelle” Read the small card on the table.

“Emily’s girlfriend?” JJ pondered, holding the card up and waving it slightly.

“I like her already,” Derek said, kicking his feet back and taking a donut.

Hotch walked in with Emily and Mindy 45 minutes later. Following them was a beautiful blond woman, probably 6’1 even in her flat running shoes. She was wearing cuffed blue skinny jeans and a big Barbie Pink petticoat.

She smiled lightly as she walked in, glueing herself to Emily’s side. “This is Noelle, my partner, Noelle these are my co-workers.”

“Hi!” She waved, “let me guess. Chocolate thunder, Derek Morgan.” She pointed to the nearest person to her.

“Correct,” Derek nodded in her direction.

“You would have to be Penelope Garcia,” she guessed right once again. “Emily was right, your aura is very bright.”

“Oh,” Penelope blushed.

“Y/N and Spencer, she said you’d be basically sitting on top of each other,” making everyone on the team laugh. “JJ, she said you’re like wonder woman, you look more like you could be cast as Super Girl if you ask me.”

JJ blushed, “thank you, Henry would agree.”

“Rossi, I already knew you. I love your books,” she fangirled a little. Something Rossi was incredibly used to.

“Signing hours are from 6-8,” he teased her.

Noelle laughed, her smile wide and toothy. “It’s lovely to meet you all.”

“Noelle has come in today with concerns that local gay men in her circle of friends are going missing. Over the last few holidays, 3 of her friends have disappeared. Dropping all contact after a trip to the bar,” Hotch explained.

“I’m a firefighter,” Noelle explained. “I have a Facebook group of friends who are gay and in the forces in any capacity. Just to let each other know where they’re going, to be safe.”

“Smart system,” Rossi complimented. “But also incredibly easy for someone to pose as trustful to gain access and track them.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Emily’s pressed lip smile portraying just how uncomfortable she was with the situation. “I’ve met our supposed victim number 3. Officer Perry is a great man and we haven’t heard from him since Friday.”

“Where was he going?” Y/N asked.

“He was at the bar with us on Friday for a little, we got a few beers and then he said he was meeting with a guy he met online, he was never big into online dating or even dating in general. He didn’t know how to be an officer and gay at the same time,” Noelle explained the situation fully. “He is one of my best friends, I excused it Saturday when he didn’t call cause I guessed he was having a good time. But when he missed Sunday dinner I knew something was wrong. I begged Emily to let me pitch this to you.”

“I believe you,” Hotch added. “Which is why I’ve asked Mindy Patel from VICAP to join us today.”

Mindy waved, she dressed more like a techie than an agent. Beanie, headphones on her neck and a big black sweater.

“Strauss and I agreed it would be beneficial to have a member of the team solely responsible for going through VICAP coincidences and letting us know. We stumble across too many rare cases thanks to Y/N and Mindy,” Hotch explained. “Mindy Patel is now officially VICAP Liaison. Her office will be across from Garcia’s from now on, she’s going to be our eyes and ears in the missing person world for the time being.”

“I took into account the fact that your friends were all masc for masc, on the police force in some capacity and male obviously,” Mindy explained. “And I found the two men from Valentines Day and New Years, and then more going back every major holiday for the last 2 years as of this St. Patrick’s day.”

“We’ve compiled the data and sent it to Garcia, it’ll be on your tablets shortly,” Hotch confirmed. “I’d like everyone to split up into teams and take an apartment of the most recent 3 victims. Prentiss and Rossi, you get New Years’.”

“Yes sir,” Emily agreed. “Noelle can stay here with Penelope for insight.”

“Yes. Reid, Y/N and Morgan, you’ll take officer Perry’s apartment. It’s the freshest so I need the best eyes.”

“Absolutely,” they replied in unison.

“Myself and JJ are going to the Valentines Day abduction,” check in with Garcia when you need to, fill me in on everything. Good luck.”

—

“Yeah a cop lives here,” Y/N laughed as she searched through the carefully organized home. Combing the place over for the slightest abnormality.

“He definitely wasn’t taken,” Morgan agreed. “He went willingly and never made it home.”

Dust was starting to settle on his possessions. Photos on the wall looked blurry as the sun shined through the windows. It smelled stale, no one had opened the windows in a while and the man who lived here worked out.

His clothing was organized by category. His laundry had 3 separate baskets for darks, lights and colours. Inside his bedside drawers, all his condoms were lined up by type. He was definitely anal about something.

“Guys?” Spencer called from the office.

Morgan and Y/N followed the sound of his voice, seeing him hunched over an iMac. “I moved the mouse and it’s open and unlocked.”

“But you don’t know what to do?” She teased him.

“Yeah,” he blushed. Watching Y/N sit in the desk chair and start looking through his things.

“His Facebook is pretty basic, he checked in at the bar with a photo here of him with Emily and Noelle, and then he went offline. He doesn’t have Twitter or Tumblr logged in, so I’m guessing he doesn’t have that,” Y/N explains as she stalked his activity. “In his history, your male basics. Case research, pornhub, Facebook, Hotmail… hold on.”

She read through all the subjects, all looking pretty normal. “What would a gay man hiding his sex life from his co-workers disguise his emails as?”

“Work-out appointments,” Morgan answered almost too quickly.

‘Workout’ she typed into the search bar. Seeing 15 messages from another man named domworkouts@hotmail.com. “got him, call Garcia.”

“Hey baby girl,” Derek spoke softly as she answered. “We got Jensen Perry’s computer open, his email shows he’s been working out with a domworkouts@hotmail.com.”

“Already working my finger magic,” she teased him. Hanging up before he could say anything back.

“That woman will be the death of me,” he sighed.

“I don’t think we’ll find anything else here, our best bet is with Garcia,” Y/N admitted as she closed all the windows. “Wait,” she pulled up the search and typed in ‘find my iPhone,’ “if he has a Mac he has an iPhone, not many people blend their tech.”

Last ping: 2256 Sheerly Lane, Friday at 23:56.

“I’ll call Hotch while you drive,” Y/N said, pulling out her phone and following the men out the door.

Morgan followed the GPS 15 minutes down the street to an apartment complex. It was worn down and looked as if no one had taken care of it in the last 25 years. “I’m calling Garcia before you go in, I don’t feel good about this.”

“Hey doll,” Garcia’s cheery voice was a nice refresher.

“Hey, do you have any info on who owns and occupies 2256, Sheerly Lane?” Y/N asked softly. “Also send backup to this location, it’s where Perry’s iPhone is apparently and it looks sketchy as hell.”

She heard the clicking of the keys before she heard Garcia’s reply. “Yep, we have 1 occupant. Amy Romano, 46, left the building after her mother died. She’s been living there in room 333 for years, not renting any rooms out at all in the last 3 years.”

“A woman?” Morgan was shocked.

“Must be why we’ve never found the bodies, female serial killers are 90% less likely to ever be caught,” Reid added his fun fact, one she’s heard from him a handful of times before.

“Exactly,” Y/N agreed. “What do we know about her?”

“She’s an interesting one,” Garcia’s tone changed. “Her father was a minister, big bible freak. Her mother was the maid here at the hotel before being given the deed from the original owner’s family. She died in 1988.”

“How much of the religious upbringing rubbed off on her?”

“Enough to make her have multiple psychotic breaks, being diagnosed with schizophrenia when she was 15,” Garcia gained more insight. “Claimed to have been visited by God, and was told sinners are punished by word of god. That one day she would be the one to follow his word for the righteous man.”

“What if she’s doing her own form of conversion therapy?” Y/N gasped. “She’s not killing them. She’s following god’s word and freeing them from their sins. This is the perfect place to keep them. Locking them in rooms away from each other, secluding them and only subjecting them to a female for long periods of time.”

“Garcia, we need back up right now,” Morgan stressed.

“they’re 4 minutes out, good luck in there my babies.”

“See you soon, baby girl.”

Being left out of raids was weird to her, watching Spencer put on a bullet-proof vest and load his gun without her cover made her anxious. Luckily, she got to stand with JJ outside. Watching the building as they listened over their radiofrequency.

“Clear,” Morgan spoke over the system.

“Clear here as well,” Hotch said. “Meet me at the stairwell.”

“I hate this,” Y/N whispered.

JJ ran her hand along Y/N’s back softly, “me too.”

“Floor 3, room 33,” Hotch explained. “I’ll kick in the door, Morgan, you enter first. Spencer and Prentiss, follow our lead.”

Not having a visual was the worst part. There was no way to know where they were or who was there. They worked on sounds, if and when the team decided to speak.

“1, 2, 3,” Morgan whispered before they heard the door smash in. “FBI!”

Then it was silent again, too quiet for anyone’s liking, staring up at the third floor trying to hear everything in the neighbourhood.

“Amy Romano put the gun down!”

“No!” They heard before 4 shots were fired.

Y/N’s heart was in her throat; she couldn’t hear anything going on inside. The officers asked over the radio for updates, hearing nothing in return. Y/N couldn’t stop herself from running towards the apartment buildings before anyone could catch her. Up 3 flights of stairs, drawing her gun and walking towards the room.

Morgan was shot in the arm, down. Prentiss, hiding behind a table with Morgan and Spencer as she tried to stop the bleeding. Hotch in the unsub’s grasp, fighting for a gun.

Hotch noticed Y/N in the doorway. Kicking the unsub down. Y/N wrapped her arm around the unsub’s neck, putting her in a headlock as Hotch attempted to cuff her. She struggled like a wet fish against them, slipping out of her grasp and falling to the floor.

“If God wants to tell me to stop, he’ll tell me himself!” She screamed.

Y/N presses her gun to her head, “he just did.”

“Amy Romano you’re under arrest for the kidnapping of 24 men, attempted murder of a federal agent and resisting arrest,” Hotch explained as he cuffed her.

“Y/N!” Spencer stood up, looking at her like she was the crazy person. “We agreed, 3rd trimester, no fieldwork.”

“You didn’t reply on the radio and suddenly I was here,” Y/N explained, “I’m sorry.”

“We need EMTs, Morgan’s been shot in the arm. The bleeding is under control, just hurry.” Prentiss ordered over the radio.

“Y/L/N is going to need to get checked as well,” Spencer added.

“Why?”

“You ran up three flights of stairs, wrestled an unsub and got elbowed in the side,” Spencer explained, taking her hand and leading her out of the room.

“I’m sorry, I get it now I really do,” Y/N stopped him in the hallway, holding him in her arms. “I don’t like when I can’t see that you’re safe.”

Spencer kissed the top of her head, “I love you.”

“The baby’s kicking,” she replied softly, “that’s good right? 4 movements in 30 minutes after activity is a good thing.”

Spencer laughed, pulling back to feel her belly. “I’m sure he’s all hopped up on adrenaline now, come on let’s get him looked at quickly.”

—

They found 16 of the 24 men alive and in critical condition inside the apartment building. SCSI was canvassing the scene with local cops, taping up the building and surrounding property while the city discussed demolishing the building altogether.

Y/N was able to witness Noelle running into Jensen Perry’s arms, hugging him as they cried in his hospital bed. Y/N could imagine the trauma he was going through, the terror and the fear of something you really don’t want, happening anyway.

“Why do people do terrible things in the name of God?” Y/N whispered towards Spencer, looking up at him with soft eyes. Truly curious.

“The religious system runs similarly to cults, they believe the words are to be followed and thus they will gain entrance to heaven. If there’s one thing humans are afraid of more than dying, it’s internal damnation. Holding the fact that they will suffer in death over their head is a way to get them to do anything.” Spencer explained softly. “With the right person, the wrong message can actually sound like a pretty good thing.”

Y/N let out a deep sigh, “how do you raise a good child in a fucked up world?”

“Matthew, 18; 1 through 5, At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Spencer repeated the bible verse softly. “Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me.”

Y/N smiled, “I like that.”

“He was always supposed to be good, he has you as his mother.”

chapter 24

April rolled around out of nowhere. Suddenly the snow had all melted, the birds were returning, and the trees were starting to bud thanks to the week of thunderstorms.

Love was in the air, both in the wild and in Y/N’s life.

The wedding’s in 2 weeks and she’s growing daily. She wanted to wait till the last possible moment to get her dress. Wanting it to actually fit over her stomach on the big day without any struggle.

Being placed on office duty for the rest of her pregnancy made it easier, not being allowed to leave Mindy and Penelope's side, under direct order from Aaron Hotchner. She was starting to notice that the more pregnant she got, the more the men of the team wanted to protect her as well.

JJ said it was the same for her the first time, all the alpha personalities came out around the third trimester. It was like they didn’t quite register that a woman on the team was pregnant till it was abundantly clear.

The girls had all agreed to go to the dress store with Y/N when they had a free afternoon, but that didn’t seem to be happening any time soon. Y/N ended up going by herself between cases while Spencer was on a flight, trying on 6 different dresses before she found one that made her happy.

The sales associate was being extra nice to her, knowing she had both a big budget and no time. It was an easy sale, but this wasn’t an easy decision.

She tried a sleeveless, skin-tight number on first. Not being able to even move once she got in it, not even bothering to look in the mirror. It wasn’t right, that was for sure.

Eventually, by #5 they had an idea of what she wanted. Long sleeves to hide her stretch marks, it had to be flowy but still show off the bump. And she wanted lace, embroidery even. Something that made it different, something that was more like her. Always growing, changing, adapting.

She was wandering the racks when she saw it.

It was so long, the train had to be at least 6 feet. It was light, made with sheer fabric so it would twist and flow with whatever direction she ran or danced. She could imagine walking through the grass with the train flowing behind her with purpose.

The most wonderful aspect was the long sleeves and the neckline. Cupping her chest perfectly with a nice ribbon right above her bump. The entire dress reminded her of something, the floral embroidery sending her back to a dress she remembers from her childhood, not able to place it but knowing it in her heart.

She looked in the mirror at herself, she felt beautiful. She shook her head lightly as a tear fell down her cheek. “It’s perfect,” she whispered.

The sales associate shook a big bell then, causing everyone to look at her and cheer. “Are you saying yes?” She asked, as cheesy as it was, she loved it.

“Yes!” She cheered back, feeling the love from everyone in the store.

The dress was huge, she laid the bag against her passenger seat and stared at it for a while. It felt a little crazy that she was getting married in a few days, even crazier that she was having a baby in 2 months.

Her phone rang as she started to leave. “Hewwo?” She answered softly, knowing it was Spencer.

“I just got home, where are you?”

“Oh,” she smiled. “Penelope said you guys wouldn’t be back until 9, I went and picked out a dress.”

“Alone?” He sounded sad.

“It was better this way, I picked it for me and no one else,” she reassured him. “I’m on my way home now though baby, I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay, drive safe. I love you,” Spencer replied, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

“Love you too,” she hung up.

She sighed, turning on the stereo and driving home to her favourite albums. Driving alone was different for her now, she used to love just escaping into the Virginia wilderness, picking a road and an album and just going somewhere.

Driving with Spencer meant silence, hand-holding, humming and ha-ing as he discovered new facts that intrigued him. She loved it, the ambiance of Doctor Spencer Reid was not something you could replicate, it was special and calming and wonderful.

She couldn’t wait to get home to him.

He was waiting on the front porch as she rolled into the driveway. Joining her at the car, wanting to help her carry her things inside. “Hi,” she smiled at him as she stepped out.

He pulled her into a hug, kissing her cheek softly. “Want some help?”

“If you don’t mind carrying in my dress, I need to pee so bad!” She said, almost about to run inside when he stopped her.

“Like how bad?” He asked.

“Excuse me?”

“If you were to get surprised would you pee your pants?” He tried not to laugh as he asked.

“Spence?”

“Just go in,” he said softly.

She sighed, knowing what this meant. Walking up the stairs slowly, turning the doorknob just as slow. Not ready to have her eardrums blown out.

“Surprise!!”

Sure enough, there were balloons and flowers and her friends gathered all inside her front hall. “Oh my god?”

Penelope wrapped her in a hug first, “your first baby shower has to be special!”

“You guys really didn’t have to do this?” She was so shocked to be getting attention that she felt a little embarrassed.

“We wanted to,” JJ hugged her next, their bumps too big to hug normally, opting for more of a side snuggle. “I got you something to change into before we get started.”

Y/N took the small blue bag from her, kicking her shoes off before they went upstairs. Spencer joining with her wedding dress, hanging it in the closet and slipping back downstairs, unnoticed.

Y/N opened the gift bag on her bed, JJ looked around the room for the first time ever. Looking at the photos of their first day of kindergarten on the wall, the artwork they chose. How Spencer wrote notes to her on the mirror with whiteboard markers.

“You guys are really cute,” she smiled.

“Thanks,” she smiled.

Finally taking the dress out of the bag, it was just something simple. Blue with pink flowers. Something she’d definitely pick out on her own. “This is so beautiful!”

“I got it when I was pregnant with Henry and never had a chance to wear it,” She smiled, “thought that you’d like it more.”

Y/N hugged her, “seriously this is the best thing you guys could’ve done for me!”

“I’m also going to need a pink dress,” JJ said softly in her grasp.

“No?” Y/N was shocked. “Really a mini JJ?”

“Yeah,” she smiled softly. “Hurry up we have more surprises for you downstairs!”

—

It took her longer than she hoped to get changed. The baby was just big enough to make her winded all the time now. Having to stop and take a breather just from taking her pants off. Not to mention the struggle of standing up after peeing.

When she finally made it back down the stairs on her swollen feet, she heard a familiar giggle that she loved very much. “You didn’t?”

JJ smiled, “it was Rossi and Will, they flew them all in and got them here.”

Her parents, brothers and wives were all in the kitchen waiting for her. Then she saw Diana, who was pressed up close to Spencer having a conversation in their own little world.

She walked in and cried, hugging her parents for the first time in 5 months. Showing off her big baby bump and chunky face for the first time too.

“You look amazing!” Her mom complimented her, taking her hand and making her spin slowly.

“Thank you, I feel huge,” she smiled. “I can’t believe you guys are here, I’m literally coming home in 2 weeks!”

“When David Rossi calls you and says he has a jet picking us up, you don’t just say no,” her father laughed, wrapping his arm around Rossi. They were going to be something else together.

She gave Diana a big hug when she could, watching her rub her belly and talk to the baby through her stomach for a good 10 minutes. It was so cute, everyone in the room watched and swooned. Secretly always hoping Spencer’s family got a moment like this.

After dealing with the Riley Jenkins case, and Gideon leaving, they worried for him. They never expected him to just show up one day with a girl and start the rest of his life the way he did. But it just made sense. He sped through school and early adulthood well before Y/N, now they’re moving fast, just together.

They had pizza for dinner, spreading 6 different kinds across the counter and telling everyone to dig in. Y/N took a slice and walked around, mingling with everyone to ensure she thanked them for coming.

“Henry!” She finally found him with Chloe and Lizzie. He ran into her arms, giving her a big hug. “Did you meet my niece?”

“You’re my any?” He questioned her right back.

“Come here Clo,” she called her over, huddling them both in close to her. “You both get to call me aunty Y/N, isn’t that so cool? You’re new friends and you share an aunty!”

Chloe gave her a big hug, she was getting bigger and bigger every day, about to turn 4 in a few months. It felt a little crazy, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“How are you?” She asked her softly.

“I’m good,” she whispered at her, smiling before hiding her face in her dress.

“Are you having fun here? Did you meet buddy yet?”

“No!” Chloe’s face lit up.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” She gasped at them both, getting back up to her feet and walking with them to where Buddy hid in the laundry room.

He was curled into a ball in a basket of towels, peaceful in the quietest room in the house.

Chloe and Henry took turns petting Buddy, kissing his head and playing with his tail, it was good for him to get a little used to grabby kid's hands. She was a little worried about how he’d handle a baby, but he was a chill cat he never really cared about attention as long as he was fed.

Eventually, JJ and Lizzie found them, peeling them away from the cat with the promise of cake while Y/N opened her gifts from everyone.

Everyone was watching her as she sat down in the living room, feeling a little anxious like she had to perform for them or something. Spencer finally joined her on the couch then, wrapping his arm around her in a soothing motion.

“So,” Garcia started. “I took it upon myself to organize the party but I didn’t just stop there, I also emailed everyone a link to a chart where they could pick the category of gift they got you so that we avoided repeats and got everything you would need.”

“This is all so much,” she turned bright pink. “You guys really didn’t have to I feel like I haven’t bought anything for myself since I met Spencer.”

“Nonsense!” Penelope hushed her. “Here, pick whatever one grabs your fancy.”

Y/N’s eyes raked over the pile of gifts, “um that big one over there, why not.”

It was a big blue bag, stuffed to the brim with tissue paper. The card on the handle was signed, she opened it to find 'from; Erin Strauss' on it. “Oh?”

“She couldn’t come but she passed that along on behalf of the section,” Hotch explained.

Y/N didn’t waste any time opening it. Finding brand named everything that she would need for breastfeeding, losing her mind at the never-ending bag.

Almost every gift was the same, all themed and absolutely filled. She was never going to have to buy anything for Matthew, she got it all today.

Hotch and Haley got her a babies bath essentials set. Her parents equipped her with every form of linen she would ever need for a baby, as well as a quilt made just for Matthew.

Penelope bought easily $400 in clothes for him over the past 7 months, with the promise of not stopping any time soon. Derek and Emily got together to buy them an all-terrain stroller, for the walks they expect them to take down the back roads. Emily’s girlfriend even brought a mom after-care set for her.

Diana’s gift made her cry the most, opening the box to find old copies of childhood books. “Those were all Spencers when he was a child,” she explained softly. “His love for the world started with those stories, I would like for Matthew to know them too.”

“Absolutely,” Y/N wiped the tears off her face, leaning over to hug her. “If Matty ends up being even half as wonderful as Spencer I’ll be grateful.”

“Spencer, did you get her anything?” Diana asked him softly as she was still mid embrace with Y/N.

“It’s in the garage,” Spencer smiled.

She looked at him with excitement, “you didn’t!”

“I might have,” he smiled.

“What?” Rossi asked, hating suspense more than anyone on the team.

“I was joking about wanting to get an SUV and become a soccer mom,” Y/N’s whole face lit up. “Did you get me a soccer mom mobile?”

He smiled back at her, “here.”

She held the key in her hand, her car was old as hell. She has had it since she moved to Virginia and even then it was a 2004 model. She had never had a new car, with the fresh car smell and clean everything!

“I am so overwhelmed,” she announced, bouncing a little in her seat as she shook her hands. Stimming just a small amount in front of everyone in all the excitement.

“We’re all done celebrating you now, I think we can start getting out of your hair, right guys?” JJ stood and pressured everyone that wasn’t relying on their house for the night, out the door.

Penelope helped Debbie and Diana clean everything up around the house. Peeling Henry and Chloe away from each other was the most difficult part of the night, becoming fast friends and wanting to look at books all night together in uncle Spencers library.

Rossi offered to let her brother Levi and his wife stay at his place while Diana and Y/N’s parents took the guest room in her home. Harrison and Faith driving back to Fort Meade to their own house.

—

Y/N and Spencer sat up in their bed, leaning against the headboard as they listened to the quiet of their house. Their co-workers were gone, their parents were settled in the guest rooms and most likely still awake from the time difference. The day had been so crazy that she barely had time to wrap her head around it.

“So…” Y/N cut the awkward silence. “Wanna make out?”

He laughed at her, shaking his head. “Remember the last time you asked me to do that?”

“Yeah, I lost my virginity,” she whispered back at him. A little scared that everyone could hear them talking.

“We can't,” Spencer looked at her with wide eyes. “It's bad enough my mother knows I’ve had sex once let alone possibly hearing us.”

He nudged him a little, crawling into his lap and sitting there softly. Her belly pressed against him, filling the space between them as she held his face in her hands.

“They’re on the other side of the house,” she pouted. “Just make out with me?”

He kissed her quickly once, “why are you so needy tonight?”

“All day I’ve had everyone's attention but yours,” she explained softly. “I missed you and I want my Spencer time.”

He couldn’t say no to that, because he felt the exact same way. He ran his hands up her thighs, over her hips and finally resting them on her back. She ran her thumbs over Spencer's cheeks, looking at him softly as she tilted her head to really admire him.

His lips were perfect, his nose was adorable. The way his stubble grew in and darkened his jaw was amazing. His bone structure, his eye colour, the way his hair just fell flawlessly into place with 0 effort. She sighed as she looked at him.

“I love you,” she whispered, biting back a smile as she waited for his response.

“I love you,” he giggled as he looked right back at her. It almost felt more intimate than sex, just staring into each other's eyes in a dimly lit bedroom, in the middle of the night.

She ran her hands up into his hair, combing her fingers through it. He tilted his head back every time, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling. She was about to smile when she got a sharp shooting pain in her hips.

“Oh, my, god,” she breathed out. “Ouch?” She scrunched her face with the pain as the sharpness dulled into the bone, just feeling uncomfortable as she tensed up in his lap. She didn’t even realize she was tugging on his hair in response to the pain.

“What?” Spencer asked, concerned as all hell.

“I think that was Braxton hicks? It was like everything down there just lit up in pain,” she explained with a horrified look on her face.

He ran his hands softly over her hips, soothing the skin in an attempt to help. “Are they bad?”

“It just feels like a pinched nerve at first and then a dull ache, it’s not the worst. I don’t enjoy it that's for sure,” she laughed a little louder. “God, I hope he’s kind to me on the way out.”

“I was doing research into the best drugs and techniques for birth for mothers that don’t want any drugs either because they’re sober or they don’t want to be removed from the moment,” Spencer explained softly. “There are a lot of options if you want to look into them with me this week?”

“Of course you did,” she smiled at him once again, feeling a bit better. “We also have to pack the baby’s go-bag.”

Spencer laughed at the way she phrased it. “Isn’t it just a hospital bag and a diaper bag?”

“No, it’s a mission to have a baby. It’s a go-bag.”

They kept giggling with each other over the dumbest things, staring at smiling as they laughed. Spencer’s hands roamed her back while she poked his face. Happily just talking in each other's space about the most random shit.

It was what she loved the most about him, that they could equally ramble about what they found interesting and the other felt just as excited about learning something new. They had mutual respect for each other's interests and feelings that ran deeper than most, truly loving every word that left their partner's mouth.

By the time they settled against the pillows and attempted to sleep it was half 1 in the morning. They turned all the lights out and still just stared at each other.

She booped his nose softly with her own, watching him scrunch his face as a result before giggling again.

“Do you have any idea what the case tomorrow will be?” She was only asking because she wanted more time with him, needing to find every topic to bring up so that the night never ended.

“Mindy’s pitching something to us tomorrow again,” he whispered. “You’ll be good at this one.”

“Oh I’m excited now okay, goodnight,” she closed her eyes and pretended to snore, making him snuggle in and wrap her arms around him, pulling her in close the way they liked it.

“I love you, bunny,” he said one last time for the night.

She sighed as she settled into him, “I love you more Spence.”

[itssoinevitable]

Completely understand your frustrations, Mel @owlsie-hoot. I’ve rewatched Series 3′s key scenes a few times now (including the PBS version with some extra scenes) and I am hoping I can help. I think you’re right to say that it seemed like Audrey and Gerald were only good friends, and that despite his obvious interest in her, on the surface she did not seem to reciprocate those feelings. I think that is how it started off in Season 2, because the entire point of Gerald in was to fill the gap that Dorothy left when the actress didn’t return - to give Audrey a friend and a place to exist outside Skeldale imo.

But somewhere along the way, she does seem to have developed feelings for him in return. (I’m not sure if that’s not shown as clearly as the writers intended, if their chemistry isn’t right or if we’re all just too partial to Siegfried x Audrey to see it? LOL) She even takes Diana’s advice in the S2 CS and dresses up for the occasion, in that beautiful black dress and she wears lipstick. But she gets scared and changes before Gerald arrives (but not before Siegfried has to mop his drool off the floor). My understanding is that AxG get even closer this season and she already likes him a lot when she agrees to go to the Elgar recital, but is trying to convince herself that they can just be friends. Siegfried tells her as much, that it is “what the young people call a date” but she is in denial up until she gets there and sees Gerald with the flowers. After this, they stop going on walks and they don’t see each other for a few months.

Then in Episode 6, when the war is announced, Helen encourages her to go talk to Gerald again, and they end up catching up but they’re not meeting regularly anymore. She’s in a different place as well because her relationship with Edward is now on the mend. But as far as Gerald is aware, nothing has changed for Audrey and she doesn’t feel that way about him. But she does, and she’s trying to tell herself not to because she’s technically married. He’s trying to get over his feelings for her, and lets her know he’s moving to Hull the next time he sees her (S3 CS). But when he gives her the news, Audrey suddenly seems to realise how much she’s going to miss him and invites him over for Christmas, clearly against her better judgement. She wants to use the opportunity to say goodbye to him, and is way more receptive to James’ and Tristan’s teasing this time imo. But she spends all night trapped between helping sort out Tristan and Siegfried’s relationship, and wanting to spend one last evening with Gerald. (And the episode makes it clear that she’s choosing between the two men in her life.) When she thinks Gerald already left and she missed her chance, she’s really upset. So when he comes back in, she impulsively kisses him.

All that said, please don’t mistake me for a AxG fan. He’s very sweet of course, but obviously she belongs with Siegfried. Imo the S3 CS confirms that, and I am not worried at all anymore because ACGAS is very good at creating escalated moments of romance and then simmering them down again. Siegfried x Dorothy seemed like they had something real, and that was dropped. Then Siegfried x Diana had a lot of screen time together, again only for them to not develop into anything further. Tristan x Maggie and then Tristan x Florence too. (Although I really hope Tris and Flo are endgame, I love them so much). So yes we get to see Audrey and Gerald have a special moment, but him moving to Hull was the writers’ way of ending this arc imo. She’s definitely not moving to Hull, maybe they will write letters or Gerald will visit for an episode, but I think it’s essentially over. And if anything, Siegfried seeing the second kiss confirms that he and Audrey are endgame. As you said, his reaction was absolute shock and hurt (if you increase the volume, you can hear him inhale). And like @olehistorian mentioned, it’s for him to see her that way, as a “real” woman who has feelings and desires. It’s definitely a catalyst, just as seeing her in the black dress was the year before.

But as much as we want them to progress to the next stage, I think they’re still very much in the slow burning era of their relationship. Season 3 put a lot of pressure on Siegfried to evolve imo, to become more emotionally vulnerable and available for Tristan and in general. At the very least, he’s becoming aware that he would not have gotten here without Audrey “he’s finally realised how much you care,” (he says this about Edward but imo he is 100% talking about himself) // “you always seem to know what’s best for me.” And he seems to know how much he likes holding hands with her <3 He’s finally becoming the man she needs him to be, and I think S4 will demonstrate that. 

Because I am still *uck*ng shadow banned by tumblr and cannot join discussions underneath posts (yay. thanks tumblr) but have so many things on my mind, here’s a very long meta about the CS, the things that happened after the kiss and what that did to my fangirl brain.

Keep reading

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 15 Feb ‘21

Nothing wakes you up like a “hope everyone is doing alright!” from Louis! But how are YOU, he was asked. “Really good thank you! Motivated”, he said and “I've been doing a lot of thinking about my next record. It's going to be special! No concrete plans because I don't need that pressure while I'm writing. I'm sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album. Who knows though!” What song is the best bridge to the new record- “Great question. Walls, only the brave, kill my mind, copy of a copy,” (FUCK YES LT2 is gonna be SO GOOD and the callout to fan fave OTB? yes) and about a studio version of Copy, “Still in two minds. Maybe one day,” but new merch will be “soon” (that...word....) Anyway so exciting, love that he’s working and writing and thinking about when that stuff will be heard- the post time (roughly 9 am PST/ 17 GMT) is exactly his usual ‘I am working and here I am to provide some bi weekly fan service’ time, and Louis being back in work mode sounds like GOOD NEWS FOR US! Maybe we’ll even get to see his 29 year old face someday! Anyway he wraps it up and signs off with “Just want to acknowledge everyone who has helped with Defenceless. These moments make me immensely proud and reinforces with your support we're unstoppable.” We’re Unstoppable, Stream Only The Brave, OMG Louis, Next Record, I’m Excited, I Love You, and Clifford (um?) trended.

Nothing like Louis tweets to put everyone in a good mood! Wellll… not that good though. Yesterday’s complaining that not every person who worked on DWD specifically named Harry in their thank you notes did die down, but only because they were eclipsed by people complaining that Olivia Wilde did write about him. She posted a pic from set (Harry as Jack perched atop a very stylish vintage convertible) with a long caption applauding her supporting star, praising him for being willing to set aside his ego and allow the film to be “female-led” and Florence Pugh to shine, adding “he didn’t have to join our circus, but he jumped on board” and praising...his driving??! Uh, that is NOT what most people say… Anyway other than it being a lot of praise to merely say hey this guy was a decent human and that part about his driving skills reinforcing that they’ve probably never spent a non working second together off set, a perfectly normal and professional post-shoot post, but the tabloids are here to make everything ridiculous, never fear! First the Daily Mail posted a story last night about how Olivia had been photographed “returning to ex Jason’s house” “bearing Valentine’s gifts,” (1, those would be the post filming gifts most likely, 2, Jason is in London) and that Harry was “nowhere in sight” (now THIS I believe!). But then! Today Page Six reported that Olivia was seen (and pap pics were dutifully produced) moving her suitcases into “Harry’s house” and the Daily Mail CHANGED THEIR ARTICLE so it now says she’s packing up her things and moving in with Harry! Lol sure. Given that that house actually belongs to Jeff and Harry was rumored to be flying back to the UK today I actually find it plausible she might be planning to stay there for a bit post filming (ETA, OH! or bringing her stuff over to fly to the UK, where her kids are! IE share a private plane ride YOU KNOW WHAT this makes GOOD SOLID SENSE) but just as likely this is sheer nonsense. I guess with filming over we’ll have to live without the high key ridiculousness of “Harry is designing dresses for their wedding”, there was really nowhere to go but downhill from there. Oh well; anyway Joni Mitchell tweeted about the one year anniversary of Harry covering her song, Big Yellow Taxi! Very cool.

A tattoo artist posted a pic of Zayn’s arm showing two brand new pieces-- a large script reading ‘ICARUS’ and one of the NIL cover faces (red). Also partially visible, another unseen tattoo, fully healed- is it a lioness with Gigi’s face? (yes it’s pretty much as weird as you’re picturing) Ztans speculate that it’s a reference to Khai’s birth, which we were told by Gigi reminded Zayn of a lioness’ birth in a documentary they had watched, and tbh WHY NOT I would believe he would get that tattooed on his body, the weirdo.

[lantern-hill]

lines that hit different

((There is no one way to be a mushroom. Have you seen how fucked up they are? How god-ignorant and wild? Listen to the mushroom wisdom. Do whatever stirs your soul. (@moami)

We could just kiss, like real people do (like real people do - Hozier)

You’ll always be my favourite ghost (Big God - Florence + The Machine)

Food, sex, and death are the three great mediators of human experience. (@givemearmstopraywith)

Girls don’t have empty fields to run to anymore and somewhere deep inside they know that they are missing something vital, and they spend their lives looking for it. (@outpastthemoat)

[The] place between hopeless romantic and strong independent individual (@theparistimes)

If you want gardens, become the gardener. (Victoria Erickson)

If you aren’t dead, you’ve got time.

The human urge to tell a story spans centuries and millennia. (@keuhkopussirotta)

Effort is the most attractive thing someone could give you

Let’s weaponize comfort  (The world told me to hate myself; I realized the greatest act of rebellion was to love myself) (@feenyxblue)

Career goal: teeny sparrow drinking from a puddle after a storm (@plasticlove1984)

But poetry. Romance. Love. These are what we stay alive for. (Dead Poets Society)

Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you. (Welcome to Night Vale, Finknor)

Mostly void, partially stars // mostly void, partially thought (WTNV, Finknor)

Travelling is like flirting with life.  It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is not my station.’  (Lisa St. Aubin de Terán)

It is not because men's desires are strong that they act ill; it is because their consciences are weak. (John Stuart Mill; On Liberty)

The dead know the language of flowers only, so they keep quiet (George Seferis)

Maleficent frost in witching hours (Dion Anja)

You can have my heart if you have the stomach to take it (Yves Olade)

Let’s shake this poet out of the beast (Mitski)