#you go be a good big brother and best friend for carewyn you wonderful thing

[carewyncromwell]

“Farid! I thought you didn’t celebrate Halloween.”

“I don’t! I just...well, Saffron was telling me that Hogwarts hosts a party every year, and I couldn’t help but wonder how you all celebrate Halloween when you already dress like witches and wizards all year ‘round -- I mean, Malik used to always go hardcore on helping his friends with their costumes every year...but I guess magic probably helps out a lot, huh? A-anyway, I heard you and Dylan and Saffron were going, and Dylan and Saffron helped put a costume together for me in case I wanted to come, so...”

“(laughs) I thought I recognized that shirt! Well, trust me, it looks a lot better on you than on my brother. Nice ears, by the way.”

“Th-thanks! I did my best...though I reckon Malik would’ve made them better, he’s great at this stuff. ...You...look really nice too.” 

“Thanks -- but you don’t have to be polite. I’m sure it’s a bit more revealing than you’re used to.”

“W-well, yeah, it is revealing, but -- well, it’s still pretty. And you look pretty -- I mean...you look pretty great, in it. Pretty cool.”

“Nice save.”

x~x~x~x

Hey guys! Last Halloween season, I did a set of three art pieces for my kids at the time (Carewyn, Jackson, and Ana) with their love interests, all dressed up as characters from some of my favorite animated movies! So this year I decided to continue this tradition, with the first installment in this set being my newest MC, Farid Sikander, dressed as Ian Lightfoot from Pixar’s Onward, and his future wife, Reva Amari @lifeofkaze, dressed as Jasmine from Disney’s Aladdin! 

When brainstorming ideas of who to cast Farid as, I briefly considered Wart from The Sword in the Stone, so as to make a light reference to The Green Knight, which is a movie Dev Patel stars in...but honestly, not only did I find The Green Knight kind of underwhelming when I actually saw it, but when I remembered Ian, I realized it was a much better match for Farid’s character. My favorite aspect of Onward as a film is hands-down the brotherly relationship between Ian and Barley, and Farid is definitely the less self-confident, anxious Ian to his big brother Malik’s bold, passionate Barley. For someone who never really had a very good father figure in her life, it meant a lot to me, to see a film acknowledging that that absence doesn’t have to mean you miss out on the important things. Who helped me learn to drive? My mum. Who had heart-to-heart moments with me? My mum. Who laughed a lot and cried a lot with me, and supported me, and protected me? My mum. And like Ian, even though I’ve never had that father figure in my life, my life is far from incomplete. There were those who have loved me and helped fill in those gaps. 

Reva I likewise fought with myself about. The two final choices were Merida from Pixar’s Brave and Jasmine, and although I originally liked the thought of contrasting Pixar characters...Jasmine, quite honestly, is one of my absolute favorite Disney female characters ever, and I just thought Reva would look so bad-ass dressed like her! When I was a kid, I adored watching the Aladdin TV series (which Disney+ has seen fit to NOT add to its roster yet 😒), and I absolutely loved watching all of the epic adventures Aladdin and Jasmine would get up to with their posse, exploring all sorts of cool places and facing off against all sorts of creative bad guys. And yeah, considering Reva's a rebellious sort with a passion for flying, I figured she’d suit a sassy, freedom-loving princess who regularly flies around on a Magic Carpet! (Plus admittedly, Jasmine’s got pants. Even if I’m not as athletic as Reva and thus wouldn’t be as confident showing off my midriff, I would 150% wear those pants, they look so friggin’ comfy.) 

Happy Halloween, everybody! Hope your night is magical! 💛🎃💜

[carewyncromwell]

Hi guys! I thought I’d start this HPHM AU Ships Challenge, just for funsies! Feel free to steal and pass it along, if thou dost wish!

Tagging @dat-silvers-girl, @annabelle-tanaka-official, @angellazull, @lifeofkaze, @samshogwarts, @drinkyoursoupbitch, @kc-needs-coffee, @cursed-ice-spirits​, @thatravenpuffwitch​, @cursebreaker-lilith​, @cursebreakerfarrier​, and @cursebreakerelmswood​! 💖💛💙💚

What HPHM characters (or MCs) could you see your MC dating, in an AU? What would their relationship be like? Why did you ultimately decide not to go with that ship, or do you still hold a torch for it?

My answers for my girl Carewyn are under the cut!!

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist starting with a recycled doodle of my canon ship, the HMS Carion. 🥰)

Andre Egwu

Alright, right off the bat, we should discuss Carewyn’s canon ex, Andre. Carewyn and Andre attended the Celestial Ball and dated until their fifth year, breaking up right after the All-Wizard tournament. Fortunately despite their break-up, they’ve stayed on good terms and still greatly respect each other -- but truthfully, I never intended for them to be a long-term match in any universe. If you’d like to read more about why Carewyn/Andre didn’t work out, you can consult this analysis, but to put it very simply, Andre was someone Carewyn admired deeply, but couldn’t ever be completely herself around. And from a personal perspective, my parents are one of those rare couples who remained friends even after divorcing, and I’ve always found their relationship really fascinating, as no one can deny they do still sincerely love and admire each other, even if it’s no longer romantically. Carewyn and Andre know each other in a way no one else does, so it gives their friendship a depth that it didn’t have before -- so unlike with a lot of relationships, their bond actually strengthened after they broke up, rather than falling apart. 

Bill Weasley 

In Carewyn’s canon, Bill ends up becoming Carewyn’s best friend. Although at the start, their relationship had much more of a surrogate big brother/little sister dynamic, over time the two ended up on much more equal terms, both as Cursebreaker partners and as unofficial “parents” for the rest of their friend group. Bill is Carewyn’s right-hand man both while dealing with the Cursed Vaults and while leading the Circle of Khanna, and even though Carewyn wants nothing to do with Cursebreaking after dealing with the Vaults, she’ll still drop everything to help Bill with his work, should he need her. Bill is the one who came up with the nickname “Carey” for Carewyn, and he’s also arguably the friend who understands Carewyn best after the death of Rowan, given the similarities in their personalities and how long they’ve known each other. I actually did write out a post guessing what a romantic relationship between these two might’ve been like if they’d become a thing, but honestly, I’ve never really shipped these two. Carewyn may not be entirely based on me (she’s got elements of my mum too), but one aspect of the wish fulfilment for me early on was that my girl could have a ride-or-die best friend like Ron was for Harry in the original Potter books. In the end, that friend ended up being Bill, Ron’s eldest brother and a character I loved when I first read the books and only became fonder of through the game. And honestly, we could really use more sincerely loving, but completely platonic male-female friendships that never bump up against romance!!

Talbott Winger

Talbott and Carewyn are truly “birds of a feather,” though one would never know it based on their respective masks. Talbott is the sort to put a gruff facade on to hide his more sensitive feelings, while Carewyn is the sort to put on a pretty face to hide her angrier and sadder feelings. Underneath, though, they both are stubborn, intelligent, and distrustful people with a strong desire to fight evil and a creative spirit. After becoming an Animagus, Carewyn would frequently fly around the school grounds with Talbott in robin form, singing songs for both herself and Talbott, and even though Talbott teased her about it, he did sincerely enjoy it. Carewyn loves reading Talbott’s poetry, and Talbott is also one of the few people who can get Carewyn to laugh a lot, since their senses of humor line up really well. Last but not least, they become a lawyer and an Auror post-Hogwarts, so they end up working together A LOT, especially post-War. I did write a prompt once about what a Talbott/Carewyn romance would be like, and I admit, I could see them being a relatively good couple, particularly since I headcanon both of them as being on the ace spectrum. That being said, though, I ultimately didn’t go with Talbott for Carewyn for two reasons. One, I thought they’d be too similar in a lot of ways (most notably, they’re way too friggin’ serious -- give each of these two some sunshine, will you??) -- and two, on a much more superficial note, Talbott was so popular that I kind of hesitated before having Carewyn ask him out. (Plus come on, for that date, how much of a b*tch would you have to be to break Andre’s heart and then snatch up an outfit he made for you to wear on a date with his dormmate?! Just -- COME ON.)

Chiara Lobosca

When I first started playing HPHM, I strongly considered shipping my girl with Chiara, once she broke up with Andre. From the moment Chiara and Carewyn met, Carewyn just knew she had to know Chiara better, and that ended up being because -- thanks to her latent Legilimency potential -- she could subconsciously sense that Chiara and she were similar in a lot of ways. Most importantly, Chiara was very lonely and desperately longed for a friend, which reminded Carewyn of how lonely her pre-Hogwarts life was, especially after Jacob disappeared. Once Carewyn earned Chiara’s trust, Carewyn proved herself to be a very loyal friend, even learning how to become a robin Animagus so she could keep Chiara company and cheer her up with twittered songs during full moons. Both Carewyn and Chiara are sensitive “Healer” type personalities (though Chiara is a bit more literal of one) who fight against their own crippling self-loathing to try to nurture others. This, in the end, though, is why I hesitated on making them official and why I’m ultimately glad I didn’t. Like Talbott, Chiara in some ways is too similar to Carewyn, and I think in a romantic relationship, they wouldn’t grow as much as people through their interactions. I did come up with quite a few ideas about what their relationship might be like -- but ultimately I couldn’t help but feel that Carewyn’s happy ending couldn’t just be about peace, but about finding someone who could challenge and contrast her.

Diego Caplan

This  started off as a crack ship for me before actually gaining some legs and becoming Chiara/Carewyn’s main opponent, when it came to my debate with myself regarding Carewyn’s romantic future. In contrast to Chiara, Diego is pretty much Carewyn’s complete opposite. Carewyn is a planner. Diego is spontaneous. Carewyn is meticulous. Diego is flirtatious. Carewyn is serious. Diego is anything but. Carewyn is ace. Diego I headcanon as pan. And yet they both have their romantic and creative sides and are both seasoned fighters and loyal friends. Diego would definitely be able to bring some levity to Carewyn’s life, while Carewyn could bring some grounding to Diego’s. Diego even has a cute little nickname for Carewyn from their time in the Circle of Khanna: “general!” In short, these two would be perfect leads in a rom-com chick flick. But this, ultimately, ended up being why I hesitated on making them official and why I’m ultimately glad I didn’t. Diego/Carewyn is a ship that could really only bloom and blossom under fair conditions, and I had trouble seeing Diego being equipped to deal with Carewyn’s darker emotions or even her more intellectual bent. Just like with Chiara, I came up with plenty of ideas about how these two could be as a couple -- but I really felt as though Carewyn needed more than just “fun” as a happy ending. And ultimately, this conflict between peace VS fun ended up coming to an end when I discovered Carewyn/Orion, as Orion could provide Carewyn with both.

Jae Kim

Okay, honestly? When I first encountered Jae as a character, I didn’t think he and Carewyn would have anything in common, but in a weird way, they sort of subvert their respective house’s stereotype by exhibiting values from the other’s house! Gryffindors are seen as these rash, reckless, show-off hero types, but Jae showcases a lot of Slytherin-worthy cleverness, resourcefulness, and disregard for rules and what others think of him. Slytherins are seen as these cold, cruel, ambitious villain types, but Carewyn showcases a lot of Gryffindor-worthy courage, nobility, and selflessness. And so even though Jae is generally a rulebreaker and Carewyn is generally a rule-follower, when circumstances made it ideal for them to be on good business terms (namely, working in detention together and Carewyn needing an ally who knows Knockturn Alley and Jae needed an ally who was a Prefect), they soon found a lot of common ground. Add to that how much Carewyn encourages Jae’s cooking talent while respecting his privacy, and it’s little wonder that post-Hogwarts, when Jae opens up his own pub on the border of Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley, the two still meet up very frequently to swap news from their respective corners of the world. I admittedly don’t know how well Carewyn’s job as a magical lawyer would be conducive to her being anything other than friends with Jae, and I don’t think they’d ultimately have many interests in common, so I do much prefer them as friends, but their dynamic is full of fun contrasts! 

Ben Copper

Hahaha, oh god. So. Obviously Ben in-game is still very polarizing, but in my canon, Ben and Carewyn’s relationship is really complex and honestly one of my absolute favorite friendships for my girl. Ben was one of Carewyn’s very first friends, so he -- like Rowan, Bill, and Penny -- knows Carewyn in a way few others do. He befriended her before she became known as the poised, perfect Slytherin “Mama Bear,” but unlike her other friends, he was a bit disappointed by her abrupt transformation between her third and fourth years. While those like Bill, Penny, and Andre saw it as Carewyn coming into her own, Ben noticed how much Carewyn put herself “over” the rest of her friends, becoming their protector more than their equal, and Ben lamented it, disliking how he felt like a responsibility to Carewyn more than her friend. But Ben kept those feelings inside, not knowing how to properly express them when he did still cherish Carewyn’s friendship. After the events in the Portrait Vault, Ben went through his own dramatic change, and Carewyn sure enough didn’t end up liking it any better than Ben had liked hers. But ultimately the two had a heart-to-heart and realized that they both had become very different people than the kids who’d befriended each other in first year. After Rowan’s death and the formation of the Circle of Khanna, the two reforged their friendship on more equal terms. I did actually write out an AU roleplay where Ben and Carewyn’s confrontation in Jacob’s room ended up hinting Ben/Carewyn, but I ultimately think that the people they ultimately become are way too different to be a great romantic match. It makes their friendship fascinating, as it makes you wonder how such a tall, suspicious, reckless Gryffindor ever befriended such a poised, methodical, lady-like Slytherin...but even if they do feel a lot of deep platonic love for each other and I personally headcanon Ben being on the ace spectrum like Carewyn, I ultimately think they’d have very different dreams in mind for their future and would each need something different in a romantic partner. 

Barnaby Lee

Barnababy!! 💚 Yeah, Barnaby Lee is my personal favorite HPHM character, and yet I have never really shipped him seriously with Carewyn, even though I love their relationship and could see potential chemistry. Barnaby and Carewyn are both amazingly sensitive, loyal, and modest Slytherins with a love of magical creatures and a strong sense of honor, but they also contrast each other in some fun ways too. Carewyn may put on a happy face a lot, but she’s actually rather pessimistic. Barnaby’s unblinkingly optimistic and he wouldn’t even dream of putting on a mask to hide his feelings. Then of course there’s the fact that Carey-Bear is this tiny and rather physically weak thing, while Barnaby is a perfectly dashing tank. 😂 Barnaby and Carewyn are both protective of each other, as seen by Barnaby throwing himself in front of Carewyn to shield her from an Imperiused Rowan’s spell and Carewyn verbally tearing into Ismelda when she learned she planned to use a Love Potion on him. Barnaby was the one who really taught Carewyn about how deceiving appearances can be, and Carewyn was the one who really taught Barnaby about how generous and selfless friendship could be, so they both respect each other a lot. For all that respect, though, there’s a significant slant to their relationship. Carewyn supports Barnaby emotionally infinitely more than she would ever let him support her, so their dynamic comes across as very “mother/son”-like rather than complete equals. Plus, honestly, I think Barnaby and Carewyn’s dreams for their respective futures -- namely, to be a magizoologist traveling the world and to be a magical lawyer for the Ministry of Magic -- don’t match up in the least bit. I could also see Barnaby wanting a large family, and Carewyn has no interest in bearing children herself and would prefer a quieter home life. 

[carewyncromwell]

Hi, everybody! So the Adventures in Curse-breaking side quest was...absolutely wonderful. The prize is fantastic -- the animation of the dragons is awesome -- the new preserve location and the interior of the tent have the most wonderful ambient music -- and it features love for Charlie and Bill, who as most of you know are two of my favorites! I might’ve switched out Penny with Liz (given that, like Barnaby, she’s so into magical creatures and we could use more material for her in the game), but even with that nitpick, I think this quest may be one of my favorites so far, right up there with Chiara and Talbott’s friendship quests.

It is, however, a very dialogue-heavy quest with a good chunk of filler in between the awesome stuff, and writing full roleplaying posts for the entire thing would take up a LOT of time. So just like with my Meet the Malfoys quest post, I’ll be writing this in a more condensed, fic-like format. Because there’s so much more material to work with compared to the Malfoy quest, however, this post will be broken up into four parts all tagged “Adventures in Curse-Breaking”, complete with screenshots and gifs from the game, as we follow my MC Carewyn Cromwell, her honorary brothers Bill and Charlie, Barnaby, Merula, and Penny to the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary!

Hope you enjoy! xoxo

Bill’s second meet-up with the sixth years ended up being more of a question-and-answer session about Cursebreaking and Defense Against the Dark Arts in general rather than a set lesson. Charlie had half-jokingly whispered in Carewyn’s ear that it was likely Bill was still in the process of drawing up lesson plans, and although Carewyn thought there was a good chance of it, she didn’t think Bill opening the floor for questions was a bad idea. After all, Merula had expressed interest in being a Cursebreaker, and any anti-Dark Arts information would be helpful to a future Auror like Tonks. (Carewyn once again thought of trying to coax Talbott to join Bill’s sessions too. She knew he preferred to “fly solo,” but she wanted him to become an Auror just as much as he himself wanted it!)

It was only toward the end of their session that Bill -- mostly to poke at Charlie for getting distracted whispering to Carewyn -- brought up his next mission, which his boss Griphook had said would involve dragons.

Of course Charlie’s ears had perked up like a puppy’s at the mention of dragons, and he immediately was interested in accompanying Bill on his mission. The eldest Weasley son, however, turned Charlie down, clearly regretting that he’d brought it up at all. He quickly dismissed the sixth years and excused himself from the classroom, but Charlie wasn’t having it. Agreeing that Bill could use some help if he had to deal with a bunch of dragons, Carewyn quickly changed clothes and accompanied her unofficial twin to Diagon Alley.

Carewyn hadn’t ever been to Gringotts without her mother before. The wizarding bank had always felt so massive to her, not just for its mile-high, vaulted ceilings, but in how the voices of the goblin tellers and witches and wizards in front of the counters echoed seemingly endlessly up toward the ceiling. Despite the ethereal light emanating off the lanterns on every desk and the sparkling diamond chandeliers overheard, the chamber still never felt completely lit. Shadows clung to every pillar and window frame, and the light of the lanterns pooled off the dark, patterned marble pillars, making them resemble rippling, murky green water as you walked past them.

Bill was very surprised to see the two gingers there. He’d tried to reproach them for ambushing him at work, which made Carewyn feel a bit guilty -- Charlie, however, felt no shame at all.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have run off in the middle of a conversation like that,” he’d said dryly. “Then we wouldn’t have had to chase after you.”

Carewyn offered Bill a kinder look. “I know you’re working, Bill -- but if your next assignment involves dragons, you know we can help.”

Bill’s boss, Griphook, took in the exchange with dry interest. Keeping a beady eye on both Carewyn and Charlie, he explained the mission more clearly to Bill. The goal was to recover a golden egg created by the goblin Urguff the Unwary and stolen by a dragon that mistook it for one of her own and was now suspected to have settled in the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary. The goblin then encouraged Bill that if “these two humans” could assist him in researching dragons, then it might be wise to accept their offer of help. Bill agreed, and the three gingers met at the Hog’s Head to research the various breeds of dragons one might encounter at the Romanian Sanctuary. Bill was stubborn, however, in keeping their meeting focused solely on research.

“I appreciate you helping me study up on dragons,” he’d said firmly, “but I’m sorry, I’m not taking you on my mission.”

Carewyn would’ve respected Bill’s feelings on the matter, given that this was his job and he deserved to do it his own way...but she knew how much Charlie wanted to go with him, and admittedly she was worried for Bill’s safety, going to a preserve full of dragons all by himself. Charlie himself was just as bullheaded as Bill was, but in the opposite direction.

“If you’re going to that sanctuary, then I’m going with you -- no arguments,” he’d shot back.

Seeing the impasse the two brothers were at, Carewyn immediately moved into “compromise” mode. Bill had already said that he’d have to cancel one of his sessions at Hogwarts in order to complete this mission, and facing so many dragons alone would be way too dangerous, even for a full-grown wizard...so why not kill two birds with one stone by having Charlie, her, and a few other sixth-year students come with Bill to help him find the egg? That way, if Bill needed to stun a dragon at any point, there would be at least two other people shooting Stunning Spells with him.

“Dragons can only be taken down with multiple Stunning spells,” Carewyn reminded him. “You wouldn’t be able to take one down on your own, if you got cornered. I only got lucky with the one in the Vault -- that one was already in bad shape before I faced it. These dragons...they’re in a preserve. They’ll have been treated well. And because they’re protected by Wizarding Law, you probably wouldn’t be allowed to use any spells that could really hurt them, like the Conjunctivitis Curse. Half the reason the dragon in the Vault didn’t kill me was because it couldn’t see me.”

Bill clearly hated how much sense Carewyn was making. His protective big brother instincts fought with his interest in completing his mission, but at long last, he relented.

Carewyn and Charlie got Barnaby, Penny, and Merula on board, and the group visited Hagrid to borrow his camping tent and get some general camping advice and Kettleburn to get some instruction on dragon safety. That Friday, the five sixth-years gathered at the Training Grounds to meet Bill.

It had been so eerie to meet Bill, Charlie, and Merula at the Training Grounds so they could leave Hogwarts via Portkey. For a second, Carewyn felt her shoulders tensing up and her blood freezing as if she was going back into the Portrait Vault. It was only seeing Barnaby and Penny’s faces instead of Rakepick and Ben’s that made her feel the least bit grounded again, even as she took hold of the Portkey and the six of them were flung off their feet and spun around faster and faster and faster --

When they arrived at their destination, Carewyn felt her breath still in her throat.

There were massive trees as far as the eye could see -- dramatic cliffs and mountains dotted the horizon -- the air was so fresh and light, dusted with the scent of pine and burnt oak -- and then overhead, soaring with their wings wide right over them, were dozens of massive, majestic dragons.

It was beautiful.

Carewyn grinned from ear to ear seeing how happy Charlie was. She’d always thought dragons were cool, but her admiration of the creatures had nothing on what her fellow Fireball thought of them. Carewyn had always loved listening to her friends talk about their greatest passions, and Charlie was no exception.

It was quickly decided that it would be best to set up camp and start searching for the golden egg the next morning. As safe as Carewyn thought they’d be with the defensive magical wards she’d put up, she and Bill both thought that searching a dragon preserve at night was still riskier than it was probably worth. Soon the group had set up camp and -- on Barnaby’s suggestion -- started roasting marshmallows over a roaring campfire.

Barnaby immediately proposed sharing scary stories. Penny was reluctant; Carewyn herself didn’t love being scared herself and she didn’t want to upset Penny, but she reassured the blond Hufflepuff all the same.

“Sometimes it’s fun to be a little scared -- especially when you know those things aren’t real and can’t hurt you,” Carewyn had told her. “I mean, you’re with your friends. You know we wouldn’t let anything hurt you.”

Merula gave a sharp bark of a laugh.

Her voice was noticeably softer than normal, which startled Carewyn. The Slytherin Prefect hadn’t really included Merula in her mind when she’d said that, but...the look on Merula’s face made Carewyn feel almost guilty that she hadn’t. She was very glad that Barnaby started right into his scary story about the Bloody Broom.

Carewyn was actually getting really into Barnaby’s story before the roar of a dragon flying a mere four feet over their heads made the entire group duck, even as the defensive wards around the camp effectively kept the dragon’s tail or claws from touching them.

“Let’s go inside,” Carewyn said quickly, trying to will down her own heart rate as she looked over her companions’ identical white faces.

To Be Continued...

[carewyncromwell]

[It was the first day of sixth year. In the past, Carewyn had always looked forward to returning to Hogwarts -- another year meant another chance to see her friends and, more importantly, to try to rescue Jacob...

Of course...achieving that goal hadn’t ended the way she hoped.

All summer, Carewyn had waited, day after day after day, for Jacob to come knocking at the Cromwells’ door. She’d wished for it every single morning, and she’d frequently shot awake at the slightest sound outside, in the hopes that it was Jacob Apparating onto their front stoop.

But not once -- not once all of summer break -- had Carewyn heard a word from Jacob. Not once had she received a single note -- a single scrap of news. And so she’d stayed silent, and not told her mother anything.

It’d hurt Carewyn so much not to tell Lane Cromwell what was going on. Carewyn could tell her mother could sense something was wrong, and yet Carewyn knew full well Lane would never, ever broach the subject with her -- just as she hadn’t when Jacob went oddly quiet. After all the stories Lane had told her children about her parents and siblings -- how Lane had grown up with her entire life mapped out for her from the time she was born and how Hogwarts had been the only place she’d experienced any freedom, independence, or trust as a child -- Carewyn knew her mother had a lot of difficulty haranguing or scolding them. Even when it came to punishment, Lane could usually keep Jacob and Carewyn in line with quiet, cold disappointment, rather than anger.

Carewyn was sort of grateful that her mother had no good way to demand that she tell her what was going on, because Carewyn knew telling Lane about R would only put her at risk too. But at the same time, it broke Carewyn’s heart to not tell her mum about Jacob and to see her so visibly upset at her daughter pulling away from her.]

I’m sorry, Mum...but I can’t let anything happen to you. R has put targets on Jacob’s and my backs, and I know if you knew that, you would do everything you could to shield us from them. And I...

[Jacob’s words echoed in her ears.

“Carewyn, R is ruthless. They won’t rest until they get what they want – they’ll hurt everyone close to us, just to get what’s in the last Cursed Vault – ”

“Don’t you get it!? R is not going to leave us alone, Carewyn!”

Barnaby dashing in front of her to protect her from an Imperiused Rowan’s spell and Rakepick torturing Merula rippled over Carewyn’s mind, making her heart clench with both pain and a fierce resolve.]

...I won’t let anyone put themselves in harm’s way because of me again.

[Despite the intensity of her thoughts, Carewyn was determined to show a bright face to her friends. She’d done a lot of thinking about it over the summer while dealing with her mother; Lane could sense something was wrong when Carewyn pulled away and went off by herself, so the Slytherin Prefect had resolved to make sure that her friends had no reason to suspect something was wrong. If they thought nothing was wrong, then they wouldn’t ask questions -- if they didn’t ask questions, then Carewyn would have to tell fewer lies. And fortunately most of Carewyn’s friends already saw her as a rather strong and capable person -- most of them wouldn’t think to question her emotional stability.

Carewyn spotted Charlie first, chatting with Tonks at the back of the Great Hall. As she approached, both of her friends’ faces lit up.]

Charlie: “Carey!”

[Tonks leapt forward, both arms outstretched, and gave Carewyn a big hug.]

[Carewyn saw Charlie beaming from ear to ear, clearly happy and relieved to see her too. Carewyn's smile gleamed a little more genuinely.]

"It’s really good to see you both, too.”

[As Tonks released Carewyn, Charlie slid over to the other ginger’s side, his face looking a bit more serious.]

Charlie: “Did old Mad-Eye come ‘round to your house again, over the summer?”

[Carewyn blinked.]

“Mad-Eye?”

Tonks: “Alastor Moody! Rowan said he’d taken you in for questioning about your brother -- did he come by, to talk to you anymore?”

[Not liking that her lie to Rowan had been brought up, Carewyn crossed her arms, her eyes drifting away toward the corner.]

“(offhandedly) No, he didn’t. But I didn’t really expect him to -- it’s not like I have any new information. He’s probably off looking for Rakepick.”

Just like Jacob...

[Tonks smiled slightly.]

Tonks: “Well, if he is, he’ll probably find her. I reckon half the cells in Azkaban are full thanks to him.”

[At that moment, Rowan came up to the group.]

Charlie: “All right. I spent mine doing a lot of reading -- “

Rowan: “(giddily) Oh my goodness, me too!!”

[Rowan deflated slightly, her face breaking into a sheepish smile.]

Rowan: “Oh -- no, I read about other things...”

[Carewyn covered her mouth with her hand to hold in a giggle.]

Tonks: “I’m just glad to be back at school with only minor bumps and bruises, honestly.”

[Noticing Carewyn’s concerned expression, Tonks hastily threw both of her hands up in front of herself defensively.]

Tonks: “It’s okay, I -- wasn’t doing anything dangerous! But you know me -- I manage to get banged up just dismounting my broom...”

[Carewyn felt her shoulders relax significantly. Rowan turned to her best friend with a more serious expression.]

[Jacob’s face overtook Carewyn’s thoughts completely. The shame in his eyes that he tried so desperately to hide -- the clenching in her chest as he vanished --

Carewyn gave Rowan a small, soft smile...and lied again.]

“...Honestly...I just kept coming back to you guys.”

[She glanced at Tonks and Charlie too.]

“After everything that happened last year...it’s made me appreciate you all the more. It made me think that...well, I’ve lost a lot of time, with you all -- and I don’t want to lose any more of it.”

So be happy. Be happy and safe. It doesn’t matter what’s going on outside -- it doesn’t matter what danger I’m in. Just...stay out of it.

[Rowan’s eyes and smile softened visibly.]

Rowan: “I know what you mean -- you were so busy curse-breaking last year, we didn’t really spend as much time together as we used to...”

Tonks: “Yeah! Reckon there’s a lot of catching up to do.”

[Unlike Tonks and Rowan, however, Charlie wasn’t smiling. Instead he’d glanced over at the tables, and his mouth was creasing into a thoughtful frown.

Carewyn looked at him in concern.]

“Charlie?”

[Charlie turned to Carewyn, his eyebrows knit tightly over his brown eyes.]

Charlie: “I just thought of Ben -- hadn’t seen him yet, and...well, look -- he’s not here.”

[Startled, Carewyn cast her eyes along the Gryffindor table, and then over at the others.

Ben wasn’t there.]

Rowan: “(also looking around) ...Merula’s not here either.”

Tonks: “(frowning) Come to think of it...Penny seemed kind of evasive when I asked about Beatrice, too. Do you see her?”

[Carewyn didn’t.]

No Ben -- no Merula -- no Beatrice.

[Her heart chilled unpleasantly in her chest. Something wasn’t right here...

At that very moment, however, the four students were interrupted by the sound of the Hogwarts Headmaster’s misty voice penetrating the din.]

Dumbledore: “Students of Hogwarts...your attention, please.”

[Everyone in the Hall hushed at once to listen.]

Dumbledore: “And with a new school year comes new opportunities...to further your studies -- to develop new friendships -- to grow as young wizards and witches -- and to apply difficult lessons learned in the past to build a brighter future. In recent years, we have been through some trying times...but Hogwarts remains an institute dedicated to learning. It is our obligation to uphold and defend this high purpose -- and there is no place here for those who seek to threaten it. And so, Professor Rakepick will no longer be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts -- “

[Rakepick’s name was an invisible knife in Carewyn’s back: one that made her feel like cold, black, tar-like hatred was bleeding out of her.]

It was one thing that I didn’t trust her -- how did someone as talented at Legilimency as Dumbledore not know how dangerous she was...?

Dumbledore: “ -- and all are urged to let the proper authorities deal with her and the Cursed Vaults. Your priority should be your lessons and preparing for your wizarding careers.”

[Carewyn remembered Dumbledore telling her not to deal with the Portrait Vault the previous year, and she felt a new wave of disgust wash over her.]

I wonder if you’d say the same thing if a magical cabal was threatening your life -- your family’s lives...

Dumbledore: “Our staff is here to support you in those efforts. Do not hesitate to ask for help.”

[That was the last thing in the world Carewyn had any interest in doing. Teacher or no, R was too big of a threat.]

Dumbledore: “Now it is time to enjoy each other’s company...and this magnificent Welcome Feast. Tuck in!”

[Once Dumbledore had finished his speech, the students began to eat and chatter again. Rowan, Charlie, and Tonks turned back to Carewyn.]

Tonks: “I wonder who will teach Defense Against the Dark Arts this year.”

[Charlie looked almost uncomfortable at the thought.]

Charlie: “Reckon we’ll find out soon enough...”

[Rowan’s face was very thoughtful as she looked at Carewyn.]

[Carewyn’s eyes narrowed slightly.]

Oh, he most certainly was.

[Instead of vocalizing that cynical thought, however, she inhaled quietly and spoke as levelly and calmly as she could.]

“...I suppose he’d have to be. But really...I don’t think Dumbledore has to worry. I’m not going after Rakepick, or the Vaults.”

[As she’d expected, all of her friends reacted with visible surprise.]

Charlie: “What?“

Tonks: “(stunned) Carewyn...”

[Carewyn’s eyes fell on the candles floating overhead as she spoke -- she didn’t dare look her friends in the eye.]

“Things have gotten too dangerous: even the Ministry’s involved now, thanks to Rakepick. It’s out of our depth -- out of our hands.”

Tonks: “But Carey...what if the last Vault starts acting up? What if there’s another Curse?”

“Dumbledore said he and the teachers would take care of it. I reckon it’s about time we finally listened.”

Charlie: “(actually sounding a little angry) ‘Listened?’ Carey, the teachers have always said that -- that’s never stopped you from wanting to help before -- “

[Hating the worry and indignation in her friends’ voices, Carewyn shut them down rather sharply.]

“Dumbledore said the authorities would deal with the last Vault -- Alastor Moody and the Aurors are much more prepared to deal with the dangers inside than we are, so all we can do is trust them to do that.”

[Carewyn’s eyes slid closed as she bowed her head, trying to keep the emotions from her face.]

“...Rakepick betrayed our trust...but that doesn’t mean we should stop trusting in everyone. Maybe it’s about time we stopped playing the hero and just...were us, for a while.”

[It hurt Carewyn so much to say it. It was a sentiment she’d always felt, deep inside of herself, back when she was dealing with the Cursed Vaults -- that she just wanted it to be over and Jacob, Lane, and her to be together again as a family, so she could finally live the Hogwarts life she’d always dreamed of --

But now...now she knew it was impossible. She knew she’d never live the life she’d dreamed of. She knew it was selfish to wish she could, under the circumstances, and she hated how selfish she sounded, saying it aloud -- but...]

I want you all to listen to me. I want you to do as I say...not as I do...

[There was a tense silence. Carewyn wanted to look up at her friends, so she could tell what would be best to say next to reassure them -- but she felt too cowardly and ashamed to look them in the face.

Carewyn felt a hand on her shoulder. She finally opened her eyes and raised her head.

It was Rowan. Her dark eyes looked very sad, but she gave Carewyn her best smile.]

Rowan: “Okay, Carewyn...if that’s really what you want to do.”

[Carewyn had never felt so grateful to Rowan in her life. Her red lips spread into a small smile, as Tonks took hold of her other shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

There was a heavy exhale beside her that had to be Charlie. When she turned to look at him, Carewyn saw that he’d glanced down at the floor and crossed his arms, but was nodding all the same.]

Charlie: “You know we’ll always support you, Carey -- whatever you choose to do.”

[He looked up, meeting her gaze straight-on as he gave her a very weak attempt at a smile.]

Charlie: “Just...give us a holler if you need us...all right?”

[Carewyn felt some moisture scratch at the corner of her left eye, but she fiercely shoved it down and refused to acknowledge it. Instead she gave him a soft, white smile.]

“Thank you, Charlie.”

[She had to say this because she didn’t have the heart to confirm that she would, in fact, go to him for help.]

((OOC: *groans in frustration* Uuuuugh, and so it begins -- Carewyn is officially shutting her friends out. She’ll be the perfect confidante and shoulder to cry on for them...but she no longer trusts them with anything. She’s going to be lying and keeping secrets a hell of a lot more from here on out...and it’s never not going to hurt me. Damn it, Carewyn-muse, I will be so friggin’ happy when you’ve completed this character arc of yours...

Next up -- Carewyn’s meeting with Moody at the Hog’s Head, and the arrival of Year-6!Ben, Year-6!Merula, and Year-6!Beatrice.))