#and ofc its a v annoying weapon

[a-gay-gathering]

Band Opinions 🎶

Today I want to talk about some of the stereotypes or opinions of different instruments in the band/orchestra because the band and music is a major part of my life in general. I'll start with the string instruments, then woodwinds, brass, then percussion and others.

String Instruments 🎻

Violins

In the spotlight a lot of the time

Terrifying notation

Im a lefty so like it sounds like itd be awkard to hold

Love Twoset tho ofc

Cool sounding

Violas

Ew alto clef

Zero spotlight

Underrated

But the heckin alto clef

ALTO CLEF

Still cool despite jokes i guess but idk

Cellos

Majestic

Love the sound

Good for both classical and jazz

Double Basses

Don't get enough credit

Low

Players are actually real nice

Stronk

Real hard to hear

Harps

Sooo many strings

Too many pedals

Players look graceful af

Sheet music looks ridiculous like wtf

Bass Guitars

One of my best friends instruments

Earthy vibes

Catchy solos (when there is one, never)

Also hard to hear sometimes

Woodwind Instruments 🎷

Piccolos/Flutes

Beauty gurus or nerds no in between

No playing louder than p

Many many many soli

High

Piccolos are real annoying aahhh

Oboes/Cor Anglais

I really like professional oboes and cor anglais

Band oboes however,, no

Also high

Somewhat uptight

Eccentric

Clarinets/Bass Clarinets/Eb Clarinets/Basse—

So many flavours

Easy to make sound

CORK GREASE

New reeds every 30 seconds i swear

Can never hear them in my band

Bassoons/Contrabassoons

Really want to try the bassoon

Serious

Majestic like the cello

L e n g t h

Saxophones

Altos are plenty screech but pretty cool i guess

Tenors are real neato

Baris are also pretty cool

Sopranos annoying af to me

S m o o t h ass jazz

Always sqeaking when not playing jazz

Brass Instruments 🎺

Trumpets

E G O

Always at least a forte

Lets take over the flute solos

WeRe ThE bEsT

Let other brass have soli and solos ... please im begging you

LOUD FANFARES!!!

French Horns

¿?¿ Literally dont exist in my band (neither do strings and basoons tho either so)

Killer solos

Practically perfect relative pitch

Much aNdRoGyNy for some reason

Honestly such a wholesome instrument

Deep fanfares

Trombones

Cool

L o n g B o i s

S p i t

‘uGh I dOnT gEt To SlIdE iN tHiS sOnG’

Baritones/Euphoniums (meeee!!!! ✨)

Straight up vibing

I want a 4-valve compensating but its ‘nOt In ThE bUdGeT

Better at dynamics and articulation than trombones tbh

Want and deserves solos but no

Weapons

S p i t 2.0

VaLvE OiL

Valve doesn’t work on concert night

S c r e e c h h

Tubas

Thicccc

Rare

No solos ever not even once nuh uh nope

Wants to quit

Actually nice

How do you hold your breath like

S p i t 3.0

Percussion and the rest i guess 🥁

Drum Kits

L o u d

Cant do quarter notes

Plays when everyones s’posed to be silent

Xylophones/Marimbas/Glockenspiels/Vibraphones

Chill and fun dudes

Really just v i b i n g haha ill leave now

How to play fast

Glock and bells are honestly loud af if your in front of em

Timpanis

Chill too

Pretends to tune

Dunno really

¿Earthy?

Keyboards/Pianos (also meeeee! ✨)

Hard stuff tbh sometimes

CaN yOu SiGhTrEaD tHiS

‘Lets take this apart again piece by piece and slow it down’

Sharps and flats arent as bad as other instruments

E x p e c t a t i o n s

Complaining

Other Percussion (tambourines, cymbals, blocks, etc)

Rests for 97282 bars

Thats really it tbh

Trickier than it looks but still, the marimbas arent that hard its quarter notes ffs karen

Acoustic Guitars (not in band or orchestra)

Four chords and singing

For some reason real easy to find sheet music online like ughhh jealous

Not too too hard (i dabbled for about four years)

I still cant play an f chord

Electric Guitars

E l e c t r i c

tHuNdErStRuCk!!

Sometimes vibing but its really a 50/50

That was long ok bye 👋