#and of course the urge to draw and the ideas are always there exactly when I'm the furthest away from my pc ghjfdh

[steamclouds]

Not gonna lie I would never even think about ditching my cintiq for anything else but the big downside is that I'm physically bound to my desktop whenever I want to do digital art

[otakusheep15]

Flufftober Day 31: Proposal - Diasomnia

Characters included: Malleus Draconia, Lilia Vanrouge, Silver (Vanrouge), Sebek Zigvolt

Word count: 3047

Malleus

Who proposed: Malleus

Malleus always had a complicated relationship with the idea of marriage growing up. He was pretty much exclusively raised by Lilia, a single father. He grew up hearing stories about how important love and marriage is, especially in fae culture, and especially especially because he’s the next in line for the throne. He needs to produce an heir once he’s on the throne, so it’s important that he finds someone he loves to create that heir with. 

Considering how isolated he always was growing up, Malleus doubted he’d ever find true love like he read about in fairytales. Then he met you, and suddenly everything was different. 

You taught him how to love in a way he never thought he could. Of course, he loves Lilia and Silver and Sebek, but that’s not the same. The way he loves you is different from anyone else he’s ever met. You practically saved him. You treated him like he was normal, like he wasn’t an all-powerful borderline god. You taught him a new kind of love he didn’t think he would ever truly experience. 

The love Malleus has for you is so pure, so soft. It’s completely different from the brooding, intimidating character everyone sees him as. He treats you like you’re the royal one rather than the other way around. 

When the thought of proposing first pops into Malleus’s mind, he gets so excited. The idea of growing even closer to you than he already is sounds perfect to him. It also helps that both Lilia and his grandmother are urging him to marry you soon so that he can produce an heir. That’s not the only reason he wants to marry you, of course, but the idea does urge him on for sure. 

Malleus begins planning the perfect proposal. First, he starts with the ring. He goes to every craftsman in Briar Valley, searching for the one who can make him the best ring. You deserve only the highest of quality, after all, and there’s no limit to how much he’ll pay. Once he finds the ideal craftsman, he has them make the ring to perfectly suit your tastes. After it suits his own standards, he pays and takes the ring. 

After that, he plans an outing for you and him. He decides to take you to dinner, having heard that this is a common date for humans, especially for proposals. He wants to make you as comfortable as possible, so he figures this is the best course of action. Naturally, he rents out the entire restaurant he chooses, meaning it’ll be just the two of you. 

When the two of you show up to the restaurant, Malleus looks very proud of himself. The restaurant is completely empty save for the staff, and he has a table reserved exactly in the middle of the room. He tells you to order whatever you’d like, as he’ll be paying for everything. 

As you dine, it becomes increasingly obvious what Malleus is up to. It’s not like you didn’t already know, as he’s never been the most subtle, but tonight it’s extra obvious. In a way, it’s honestly adorable. He’s clearly excited for what he has planned, and you’re just here for the ride. 

Once the meal is done, Malleus escorts you out of the restaurant, leading you on a nice stroll through Briar Valley. It lasts well into the night, and you can feel the tension rising the longer he draws this out. But, when you return to the castle without a ring, you start to think that maybe you were mistaken. Maybe he really did just want to take you out to a nice dinner and walk. 

You return to your room and begin preparing for bed. You head into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Then, you get into your comfy pajamas and head back to your bedroom, only to be immediately stopped in your tracks. 

Malleus is in the middle of your bedroom, surrounded by candles, on one knee with a ring. He stays there, waiting for your answer to his silent question. 

You run to him, and if he weren’t the Malleus Draconia, you would’ve tackled him straight to the floor. Unfortunately for you, he is very strong, so instead of a tackle, he merely catches you in his arms. Taking your almost-tackle as a yes, he pulls back just enough to take your hand, slipping the ring onto your finger. He then kisses your hand so tenderly, and you melt right then and there. 

Your wedding is actually so incredible. It’s extravagant and over-the-top, and everyone who should be invited is invited. Allies of Briar Valley, important nobles and high-ranking officials, and, of course, all of your friends. It’s the biggest celebration in centuries, and it’s absolutely going all out. 

Lilia

Who proposes: Lilia

Lilia gave up on romance long ago. Once he was put in charge of caring for Malleus, all of his own wants and needs were immediately put on the backburner. Honestly, he can’t even blame his lack of a love life on Malleus. He’s always been too busy for love, long before Malleus was in his care.

 Even when he meets you, he still hesitates, not sure if he wants to pursue anything. He liked you a lot, that much was certain. If he had to make a guess, he could also assume you liked him at the time too. But he just couldn’t bring himself to say anything about it for the longest time. 

Ironically, it’s because of Mallues, as well as Silver and Sebek, that he decided to confess to you. They’re the ones who encouraged him when he had a rare moment of self-consciousness. 

When he did confess, it actually went very well. You had accepted, and the two of you were officially dating from that point on. It’s the best decision he’s made in years, and he’s so glad his boys encouraged him to confess to you.

Now, he’s having a similar dilemma. You’ve been dating for a while now, and he really wants to propose to you. But, same as when he was scared to confess, he is now scared to propose. He’s never done something like this, and human courting rituals are so different from fae. He doesn’t want to mess something up and ruin your relationship. 

Once again, it comes down to his sons to hype him up. They give him all of the love and support he needs, and after a long while of trying to prove to him that he won’t ruin your relationship, he finally decides to suck it up and propose. Deep down, he knows you won’t reject him, and he wouldn’t be that surprised if you’ve been waiting for him. 

Normally, this is something he would meticulously plan out, taking his time to detail every little thing. However, even with the confidence boost, Lilia is still somewhat frazzled, so he decides to just do it as soon as possible so that he doesn’t have to sit with his nerves any longer. 

He buys a nice, hand-crafted ring that he’s sure you will love. He also buys a bouquet of flowers on impulse, deciding last minute that you’d like them as well. When he arrives back home, he notices you relaxing, and that somehow manages to calm him down. You look so nice, just hanging out around your house. You look up to greet him, immediately noticing the flowers. They make you smile, and you get up to meet him by the door. 

Lilia hands you the flowers before telling you he has a small surprise. Despite the nerves, he’s still the ever-cheeky Lilia, and he’s absolutely going to tease you, even if just a bit. 

He shows you the ring box, opening it up to reveal the ring he picked out for you. You stare in awe, and you smile at him as he places the ring on your finger. You’ve been waiting for him to be ready, and it looks like today is the day. 

The two of you walk hand in hand to grab a vase for your flowers, and you can’t stop smiling for the rest of the night. 

Your wedding is small. Initially, it was going to be bigger, but Lilia eventually decided that he wanted it to be more chill than originally planned. It ends up just being you, Lilia, Malleus, Silver, Sebek, and a few other close friends and family. Lilia doesn’t care much about the ceremony itself. He just really wants to be married to you. What he is excited for is the honeymoon. He loves traveling so much, and this is the best possible excuse to travel. Somehow, he almost convinced you to have a travel wedding, but you talked him down from doing that since you’re already having an extended honeymoon. 

Silver

Who proposes: you

Silver never really cared about relationships. He’s always been more focused on training to be a knight anyhow. It’s not like he’s against the whole concept of a relationship, and he never minded the thought of being in one when he’s older, but he just assumed a relationship would be years and years away, well after he’s finished his training.

What he did not expect at all was you to appear in his life. Suddenly, all of his plans of finishing his training before even considering romance just fly out the window, and he knows the second he sees you that he has to pursue you. With the encouragement of Lilia, he slowly begins courtship. 

Your initial romance is soft and slow, very much a fluffy slowburn. He’s so caring and sweet all throughout, always making sure you’re comfortable as he continues to court you. Even the littlest of gestures makes your heart melt, barely able to handle just how adorable he is. Everything about him is just perfect, and he can and absolutely will say the same about you. 

Everyone is hyping up your relationship so hard. Malleus and Lilia are your number one fans, and even Sebek is being supportive in his own unique way. The two of you are literally just a mountain of sugar and everyone around you is just completely obsessed. 

As you both grow older and your relationship develops, you only get more domestic, if that’s even possible. You’re truly living the cottagecore dream life out in the forests of Briar Valley where you spend your days hanging out with the animals and watching Silver continue to train. 

Much like your courting and early relationship, proposing is a slow process, but this time, you’re the one taking control. You’ve been wanting to propose for so long now, and now that you and Silver are stable and secure, you figure now is a good time to pop the question. With some support and advice from Lilia, you begin the process of planning your proposal. 

You manage to get a gorgeous ring, one that suits Silver’s ethereal vibe. You plan on proposing in the forest, surrounded by his animal friends. They’ve been a huge part of your life for so many years now, so it makes sense to have them around. 

On the day of the proposal, you planned out a nice picnic for the two of you. You spend the morning preparing sandwiches and fresh fruit as Silver watches you lovingly. It takes all your restraint to not just propose right now. He’s looking at you like you literally hung the moon and stars, and it makes you want to kiss every inch of his face until he can barely breathe. 

Still, you manage to hold yourself back, and you finish up the picnic preparations. With everything done, you and Silver head out, walking to your favorite clearing where you regularly have picnics. His animal friends join you as usual, and they snack on the fruits you packed while you and Silver enjoy your sandwiches. 

Once finished eating, you pull out the ring box, and Silver smiles at you when he realizes what you're holding. You’ve discussed marriage and proposing before, so this wasn’t exactly a surprise. He saw it coming, but you didn’t mind. If anything, the knowledge of your proposal only made the day better for Silver. 

Naturally, he says yes, and the kiss you share after is easily the sweetest thing at this picnic. The animals all seem very happy for you, and that only makes you feel even happier yourself. The two of you stay in the clearing for a bit longer, just basking in the beautiful scenery and each other’s company. 

Your wedding is nice and simple. A few friends and family are invited, and obviously all of Silver’s animal friends. It’s held in the forest, as it’s a very special place for the both of you. The clearing is minimally decorated, and everyone gets to enjoy the scenery. The ceremony itself is beautiful, and the reception is quite fun. The best part is that this is held right next to your house, meaning that if Silver gets tired, the two of you can just sneak away for a nap. 

Sebek

Who proposes: you

The day Sebek acknowledges that romance is a real thing that happens to people is the day the world ends. He represses his own emotions so hard, especially when it comes to stuff like this. It’s mostly because of his parents, and his dad more specifically. He has such a complex view on their relationship, and that’s made his own views on love a bit warped as well. 

When he begins feeling things for you, his immediate response is to repress and forget. However, that’s the absolute worst thing he can do, as that only makes him think about you more and more. Soon enough, all he can think about is how much he doesn’t want to be thinking about you, and he’s basically stuck in an endless loop at this point. 

It would almost be funny if it wasn’t sad. Lilia definitely tries to give Sebek advice, but most of his attempts just end with Sebek shutting down and getting grumpy. Even Malleus can’t seem to get through to him, and that’s when you know it’s bad. 

You, meanwhile, are just kind of vibing. You’re aware of what’s going on with Sebek to a certain extent. As far as you know, Sebek is in a funk because of something, and you're worried about him, but you don’t quite know what’s going on. No one will tell you why Sebek is so upset, and while you really want to help him, you also know to respect his privacy. 

Eventually, after a lot of yelling and lowkey threats, Sebek finally listens and admits his feelings for you, but he’s still not ready to confess immediately. Everyone has had enough of him, but they can only push him so far. 

What no one expects is for you to confess to him instead. Sebek is especially caught off guard, and he practically short circuits as you explain your feelings towards him. 

That seems to be the thing to finally work on him, and he (not-so) begrudgingly agrees to go out with you. You’re happy, Lilia and Malleus are happy, and Silver is just glad Sebek isn’t moping anymore. 

Your relationship progresses shockingly well from there. He learns to ease up a bit, and you help him out a lot during that process. Even if it’s hard for him to admit, he is genuinely grateful for you, and even more grateful you confessed to him when he didn’t have the courage. 

Little does he know you’re about to do it again. 

You’ve been together for a while now, and you really want to get married. If Sebek couldn’t even confess to you in high school, you know for a fact he would never be able to confess to you, even after all of his character development. Just because he’s less angry does not take away the fact that he’s still a bit of an anxious mess. 

That’s why you take on the role of doing the proposing instead. You’ve had it all planned out for a while now, and you think you’re finally ready to put your plan to action. 

You decide that the best place to propose would be at home. That way he’s comfortable and out of the public eye, just in case he does get a bit freaked out. You’re sure he wants to marry you, and you doubt he’d say no, but he might panic a bit if he’s caught off guard. 

Currently, he’s busy being a knight, so you’re home alone as you wait for him. When he returns home, you greet him with a homemade dinner, and you can tell that makes him incredibly happy. Sebek is a sucker for domesticality and you’re actively using that in your favor. 

Dinner is amazing, and Sebek is in a very good mood, and you decide this is the best time to ask him. You pull out your ring, presenting it to Sebek. He looks at you in shock, as if he doesn’t believe this is actually happening right now. You give him a tiny speech about how much you love him and how proud you are of him for how far he’s come, and that you’d really like to marry him. 

He continues to stare, and you see him swallow in nervousness. Then, he steps towards you, enveloping you in his arms, and you know that means yes. Sebek doesn’t even try to act all tsundere, instead choosing to be sincere as he gives you his official yes. You give him the ring, and he continues to hug you. You can tell you’ve made him very happy. 

Your wedding is a rather normal wedding. There’s a decent guest list, if only because he knows a lot of people from being a knight. The ceremony and reception are both quite simple, as Sebek has never been one for flashy presentation. He does get teased a lot by several of the guests for how nervous he was back when you first confessed to him, but it’s obvious that everyone is happy for him, and you as well.

[duskier]

Werewolf AU / fat hairy werewolf gf x poly!141 idea rambling in honor of the art by @littlebit-of-art ♡

|| okokok werewolf lore is always varied but I love the idea of like. shift at will werewolves, but they have forced shifts during the full moon where they get all primal and stuff... thinking about the 141 in the woods, in hiding from bad guys, getting cabin fever and impatient as hell. Pissed that Laswell has benched them (though understanding she has legitimate reasons why)

Soap finds you first, middle of the night. Well, you find him, actually. He was just sneaking out for a cigarette, went alone because he didn't want to share- his pack was running low. You're a tall creature when shifted, much too large to be excusably identified as a wolf. It's the full moon, so the 'you' isn't all there- moreso your hindbrain, your dumb dog of a wolf self. Of course *she* makes a beeline towards Soap after smelling him in the air, first human you'd seen in years- he thinks he's about to get mauled to death but is pleasantly surprised when he sees your tail wagging and you're nudging him to come play with you.

The rest of the squad looks at Soap like he's nuts when he comes by with you in tow, the "can we keep it?" look on his face. Ghost has half a mind to shoot you, no matter how damned cute you looked flopping over on your back, your primal way of telling the group you were friendly.

Price knows you're something strange, not a normal wolf. After some bickering between Soap and Price ("He looks cold :("..."it's a wild fucking animal, Sergeant") you're allowed to curl up on the couch in the den of the cabin, just in front of the fire. The wood of the furniture squeaks under your weight, reassuring Price you wouldn't be sneaking anywhere at night without him noticing.

...But come morning time, when you are you again- human, that is- Price is left speechless. Who was this beautiful, stark naked woman, and why was she on the couch? Where'd the wolf thing go? Poor man, fighting his urges to look you up and down over and over until he'd memorized every silky furry curve, the soft pout of your lips...

After an embarrassing wake up call, a lot of screaming and scrambling, you were sat in an oversized blanket wrapped around you and explaining who and what exactly you were to the 141. You appreciated the warm place to sleep in, so you offer them a deal- let you move in, you'll hunt for them in your wolf form. Easy enough.

What you never could have expected was how much you would become attached to the team. It starts off small, them getting used to your large wolf form- Gaz gives you a scratch behind your ear once in a while. Then it becomes so common for you to rest on him that when he sees you, he wordlessly clears his lap, a perfect resting spot for your head. Soap asks to draw you once, then it becomes a natural thing and he's a sudden canine anatomy expert in weeks, half his sketchbook filled with you- human and otherwise. Price checks in on you, worries over you and waits up every night that you're out late hunting for them. Reminds you not to push yourself, you've stocked them plenty for winter, as he wipes your bloody maw clean with a towel before bed. Ghost gets annoyed at your limp from stickers caught in your paws, but then it becomes a daily ritual for him to groom you all over, pulling out annoyances caught in your fur or paws.

...That's just when you're in your wolf form. When you're in your human form, the men are all just as sweet, if not sweeter. Price finds an old record player, teaches you to dance to the music. Revels in the feeling of pulling your soft body close, hands lovingly caressing every inch of your body as you sway in time, your pretty head resting on his chest. He becomes quickly besotted by the feeling of your arms under his hands, the silky hair covering inch of your skin making him just mad with affection and want. Soap makes even more portraits- drawings with harsh and soft lighting, never wanting you to ever hide your body in the ways you'd been taught to previously. Can't stop raining down compliments on you the entire time, as if every five minutes he's blown away once more at your beauty. Doesn't miss a single tuft of hair, a single bit of your body. Gaz who finds every way he can make you laugh because once he's heard it, once he's seen the way your laugh moves through your whole body and the way your smile lightens the room, he's like a lovesick puppy. (It becomes bad news for Soap, because nothing made you laugh quite like Gaz pranking Soap, each prank becoming more and more childish.) Ghost takes the meager rations they have- thankfully bolstered by your hunting- and makes the best warm meals you'd ever had. Makes you taste test every meal- never plated until it has your approval. Watches you with his golden brown eyes, searching for your praise.

One night, Laswell shipped them their new rations and included a bottle of bourbon, a late birthday gift for Price. 'Sorry you're still there,' a note on the bottle apologized. The team couldn't care less about being there, so focused in on you. You take turns having small shots of the liquor and end up watching the men as they excitedly share story after story with you, each wilder than the last. Price puts his big warm hand on your leg, unable to keep himself from squeezing gently. Gaz has his arm on the backrest behind you, fingers toying with your hair. Soap sits at your feet, his head on your knee, you feel his stubble against your skin whenever he speaks. It's Ghost who breaks rank first, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear and telling you you're the prettiest girl he'd ever met. You blush, and he says he'd like to kiss that blush right off of you. It's slurred, it's silly, but it works, and you let him kiss you, his mask rolled up to his nose. Soap protests, then, of course, how dare he not get a kiss. You jokingly ask Gaz if he'd like one too, of course he agrees and you oblige them both, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. You turn to Price, who was watching intently, eyes glittering in the firelight. "Come here, love," is all he has to say before you're crawling onto his lap and kissing him silly, the peanut buttery smell of his cigars filling your senses.

From there it's as natural as breathing to wake up in a cuddle pile, to kiss them all goodbye before going out on a hunt. For each of them to take you to bed, alone or all together or somewhere in between. They treat you like a precious thing, but never like glass- they know all too well how strong you are.

They find out even more of your capabilities when they are attacked.

Full moon, you're out hunting. Happily secure in letting your wolf side take the reins, looking for the best deer to take home for your boys when you hear a crack like a whip in the distance. You hear Soap screaming just as everything goes red for you. The primal side still in control, all it can think is that your pack was in danger. You ran faster than you ever thought possible, bulky wolf body breaking through old trees, unstoppable in your path to your mates. The men you kill in your way aren't anywhere near prepared for you, slaughtered like nothing. From your boys' perspective, you were a terrifying sight to see. Snarling and monstrous, standing on your back haunches taller than a building, soaked in blood and gore. It isn't until all enemies were silenced that you're capable of thinking anywhere clearly enough to look for your boys, make sure they were okay.

Thankfully, no one was hurt. Ignoring the mess covering you, you were sniffing and nuzzling each of them ignoring their protests in disgust, distressed whines leaving you. They weren't able to calm you that night, having to allow you to stalk a perimeter around the house all night long, daring more enemies to come. It wasn't until the next day that they found you, human form collapsed in the dirt from exhaustion. They take the time to bathe you, gently and with reverence, grateful for both your life and their own. Softening your skin with lotions and oils after, wrapping you in their nicest blankets and surrounding you in a giant cuddle pile so that when you awoke, you'd feel safe.

And you do. You can't imagine life without your boys.

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Milo(Lucian) X Reader: I see red

Watched Morbius and of course i went and fell for the villan

Warnings: Smut, blowjob, handjob, dirty talk, cum eating, face fucking, blood drinking(he is a vampire), insecurity.

Word Count: 2,1K

You’d always loved Milo. Even though you knew you didn’t have forever with him your heart couldn’t help but fall for the man. Milo hadn’t been handed the best cards, he wasn’t a lucky man but at least he had Morbius. Well he used to have Morbius. As the years had passed Milo and Morbius had grown apart. They were still good friends and Milo knew he could count on Morbius for anything but the more the doctor stayed at the lab the farther away it seemed their meetings would be. Milo blamed Martine for the distance. He wasn’t entirely wrong. The two doctors seemed to be growing more and more intimate as the days passed. You wondered if Martine had told Morbius about how she felt. It wasn't an easy task, you knew that all too well. 

Milo didn’t know about your love for him. You'd never talked to him about how you felt. There was never a good time for that type of conversation. When he wasn’t busy handling something for Morbius he was stuck in bed due to his sickness. Besides you weren’t certain he’d believe you anyway. Milo had this idea, a really stupid one, that he wasn’t attractive. Girls didn’t usually hit on him when he went out and he’d somehow linked that to his appearance.

“No one wants to be with a sick man.”

He’d blurted that out one night on your walk. You’d almost told him how you felt but the nerves had gotten the best of you. You didn't want him to think you pitied him because you didn't. You loved him like this and you’d love him even if he was different. Not that you’d ever expect him to change. Not in a drastic way anyway. 

You made your way through the hall going towards the kitchen. You placed the bags from the market on the counter as you called out Milo's name.

“They didn’t have burger patties so I had to settle for ground beef. Okay?”

No answer. You frowned at the silence, your eyes scanning the room for signs that Milo was home. Your gaze fell onto his cane on the floor. Milo couldn’t leave the house without his cane which meant he was here. But where exactly was he? 

You heard a thumping sound above you, leaning your head back to look at the ceiling. The sound was coming from Milo's room. You walked over to the elevator pushing the button to the second floor.  You tapped your foot against the metal floor, fingers moving on your thighs as you waited for the doors to open. The second they did the sound of music became louder. You moved towards Milos' room knocking at the door before entering. Light streamed into the bedroom from the closet. What in the world was he doing? 

“Milo what’s with the….”

Your body froze at the closet door, eyes widening at the sight before you. You watched Milo dance around with his eyes closed. Your eyes scanned his body, curiosity filling your mind as you realized the way Milo looked. He looked healthy. Truly healthy. Not “on a good day” sort of healthy. Running a marathon kind of healthy. Where did all those muscles come from? 

Milo opened his eyes to look at himself in the mirror but instead his gaze fell on your reflection. Your mouth was slightly parted and there was this unusual look in your eyes. He felt an urge to cover his body, his subconscious telling him to hide himself from you. But then he caught the way your eyes moved over his body. You liked it. You liked the way he looked. The moment he realized that his chest puffed up drawing more attention to his chiseled body and causing your breath to speed up. Milo called out your name, moving slowly towards you. You watched him make his way to you with ease.

“Milo your leg.”

“Neat isn't it?”

He gave a small spin stopping a few steps away from you. Your eyes raked over his body, stopping on the smirk on his face.

“What’s wrong darling? Don’t like my new look?”

“I always liked the way you look.”

The words tumbled out of your lips before you could stop them causing you to place a hand over your mouth as Milo’s eyebrows quirked up.

“Is that so?”

The truth is Milo had always felt something for you but he never acted on it. He never thought you saw him as anything other than the sick teeanger you’d met years ago. But now, watching the way your breath sped up the closer he got to you and the way your tongue peaked out to wet your lips every once in a while, he could tell he’d been wrong. 

“How is this possible? I mean how did you-”

“Shh darling.”

Milo placed a hand on your cheek moving some stray hairs behind your years. 

“How doesn't matter now. The “what”  is far more important?”

“What do you mean?”

“I haven't felt this strong…well…ever. So I'm curious as to what I can do. If you know what I mean.”

You swallowed dry as Milo leaned his face closer to you, his lips almost touching yours.

“And I was wondering….”

“Yeah?”

“If you wanted to help me find out?”

“Fuck yes.”

You wrapped your arms around Milos neck pulling him down into a passionate kiss. His hands snaked down your body settling on your ass with a harsh squeeze. You groaned into his mouth, your legs moving up to wrap themselves around Milos waist. He tugged you up with ease. Your hips brushed against his hard on causing him to let out a moan. 

“Where do you want me to fuck you darling here or in my bed?”

“Bed please.”

“Such a polite thing ei?”

Milo kicked open the doors making his way to his bed. You let out a small gasp when he threw you on the bed, the mattress bouncing slightly.  You pushed yourself onto your elbows watching as Milo moved to unbuckle his pants.

“Let me.”

The man glanced down at you with a grin which you returned. You shuffled yourself to the edge of the bed accepting Milos extended hand. Once you’d gotten to your feet you moved out of the way forcing Milo to turn around and take your place. He followed your directions, taking a seat at the edge of the bed and spreading his legs slightly. You got on your knees before him, your hands working on his belt. You reached into his pants cupping his dick in your hand for a moment before pulling down his underwear. His dick sprung up and you drooled at the sight. Milos slender frame had given you the impression he would have a slim cock but you had been wrong. His dick was thick and long. You glanced up at Milo being greeted with a worried look. 

“Milo, I can't believe you’ve been hiding this beauty from me.”

“You like it? It’s not too-uh-small or anything.”

You let out a laugh. Bless this man.

“It’s perfect.”

Before Milo could retaliate you wrapped your mouth around his dick. Milo’s hands went straight to your head gripping your hair to ground himself. 

“Ah fuck-ugh-good fucking girl…shit.”

“That good huh?”

“Don’t know how long I've wanted you darling.”

“Yeah? Should have told me. I’ve been touching myself to the thought of you for the past four years.”

“Good lord-ugh!”

You opened your mouth as much as you could, taking Milos dick as deep as possible as you told your tongue around his shaft.

“I wanted to-uhm-fuck you at that-fuck-stupid benefit party.”

You’d never taken Milo for a talker during sex but you didn't mind it. You hummed around his dick signalling to him you were listening and causing him to buck his hips.

“You wore that fucking black dress…ah ugh…could see every fucking curve.”

You remembered the dress he was talking about.  You still had it in your closet. You’d have to remember to wear it again. You removed your lips from Milos dick replacing them with your hands.

“If you’d told me I would have let you. There was a wonderful little counter in the bathroom we could have used.”

“Dirty girl.”

“Like you’re any better.”

“Oh you have no idea.”

There was a sombre tone in Milo's voice but you chose to ignore it. Your hands moved faster against Milos dick making him moans grow louder. You could tell he was close to cumming so you decided to take him in your mouth once again. After one particular suck Milo called out your name and you felt his seed spilling down your throat. You removed your lips from his dick swallowing before sticking your tongue out proudly to show Milo what you did.

“You’re going to be the death of me darling.” 

He wiped the spit from the corner of your mouth before leaning down to capture your lips in his.

“You turn, pretty girl.”

You and Milo had been going at it for hours. His stamina seemed to be everlasting. Your hands latch onto Milos back as he thrusts into you, his arms caging you beneath his body. He's going at a brutal speed, making your eyes roll to the back of your head as your body prepares for another orgasm. You are so close but before you reach your high Milos thrusts start to sputter. You open your eyes to look at him expecting him to look at you with a teasing grin or a cocky smirk but he doesn’t. In fact his eyes don’t meet yours.

“Milo?”

“Shit…i”

“What is it?”

“Darling i…fuck not now.”

“Milo what is it? Talk to me.”

Milo raises his head to look at you and you're startled by the way he looks. The healthy glow he’s had up until now is completely gone. He looks like he usually does: pale and tired.You can feel Milos leg shaking next to yours. 

“I need i…”

“Tell me. Lucian, tell me what you need dear.”

“Blood.”

“What?”

“I need blood.”

You thought you’d heard him wrong but the way his face twisted when he repeated the word shows you you’d understood correctly. You should have freaked out. That would have been the correct response. But when it came to Milo you never seemed to have a clear head. Milo's leg gave out beneath him causing his body to fall into you, his lips touching your neck. You felt him open his mouth, his tongue lapping over your vein before closing it abruptly

“No. Not her.”

“Lucian…”

“It’s okay, I would never hurt you.”

“I know.”

You stayed silent for a movement trying to make up your mind.

“Take mine.”

“What?”

“My blood. Take my blood.”

Milo's body begged him to listen to you but his mind stopped him from taking action. If he lost control he’d suck you dry and he couldn’t deal with that risk. Not when you meant so much to him.

“I’m not in control i could hurt-

“No you won’t. You never would.”

Milo raised his head to look into your eyes seeing the certainty in them. You trusted him. You truly did.

“Take what you need. It’s alright. I’ll be fine.”

Milo hesitated for a moment before leaning down so that his mouth was on your neck. He could hear your heart beating and could feel every twinge of your muscles. Your perfume was strong against his nostrils but the smell went away as soon as his teeth pierced into your skin. You let out a yelp, your nails latching onto Milo’s back as he sucked your neck. You could feel the blood leaving your body, the feeling making you dizzy. 

Your blood was the best thing Milo had tasted in his entire life. It tasted exactly like he imagined you would: sweet and silky. He lost himself in the pleasure, his hips rutting against you as his strength returned to him. You called out his name forcing him to detach himself from your neck. This time when your eyes fell onto his face the healthy glow was present once again. Your neck felt tender and your body had gone slightly limp but you forgot all about it once Milo started thrusting against you at a brutal pace once more. Your toes curled and your eyes rolled into the back of your head. You came with a shout of Milo's name. He followed short after, spilling his seed into your cunt.

You knew something wasn’t right, normal people don’t drink blood and get strong. But that was a problem for later. Right now you had to focus on getting your body to come back to earth.

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Getting to be your first time

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairing: Akutagawa X Fem!Reader

Request: "Jesus christ i loved your drabbles of chuuya and dazai with a fem virgin reader, could you maybe write one for akutagawa?" ◜By lovely anon!!◞

Genre: Smut

Format: Drabble

Warnings: NSFW! content, nipple play, vaginal penetration

Word Count: 0.5K

A/n: E-eh?? I thought it wasn't good enough- Thanks!! T^T

For the first time in his life, Akutagawa has no idea what to do.

He's always following orders from higher ups, doing the job exactly as he's supposed to. He has done the trickiest missions in the port mafia, but not even once he has felt nervous, the way he feels now.

He avoids eye contact with you as his fingers slowly draw circles on your clit, pressing his naked body against yours unintentionally. This feels intimate; so scary yet so close and somehow he doesn't wanna pull away, not when you feel so warm, soft and kind.

Heavy breathes and low pitched moans scaping your lips are getting into him. He knows you can feel his throbbing member against your womanhood and the urge to get swallowed by the ground is kicking into him, but he can't separate from you now; not when he's this close to name you as his.

The gentle touch of your hand has him coming back to reality, turning his head toward you so he can meet your face.

Your pretty face, swollen lips and reddened cheeks.

He doesn't know what to say when you quietly ask him what's wrong, so he just slams his lips on yours, capturing them in a hungry kiss.

He's needy, you're just as needy as he is, you two really are a match.

Adjusting himself on your entrance, he reluctantly pulls away and looks you in the eye for approval, but all he can see is love, desire, and of course lust.

You whine a bit and pull him back so you can taste his lips again, feeling him smiling softly into the kiss. You don't let him break the kiss, not even when he slowly pushes inside, earning a slow gasp from you but not enough to break apart from him.

"O-oh!"

"Am I hurting you?"

"No..."

"You can tell me if you want to stop"

You don't want to stop.

When you wrap your arms around him, he lets out a heavy breath as he starts thrusting in and out of you, with a gentleness that seems familiar but is actually brand new. You don't hold back anymore. You moan everytime his length reaches a particular spot inside, and he feels honored as your voice gets louder and louder.

Akutagawa can't hold himself back anymore. You sound so nice and he has to hear more of you. He has to see you in your most vulnerable state, to hear you scream when you finally reach your orgasm. That's all on his mind when he tilts his head downward and starts sucking on your right nipple, using all the strength left in his body to speed his thrusts up, and boy he's pleased when you whimper loudly and throw your head back on the pillow.

For once in his life, Akutagawa doesn't want this intimate moment to be over. All he wants to do is doing all he can to pleasure you, and trap you in his arms, forever.

All rights reserved © 2022 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

[quiteliterallyilliterate]

Had an idea for some Yan!TP LinkxReader who could also shift into a wolf. Working on requests!

Tw: Yandere, Mentions of murder, Mentions of Cannibalism, Obsession

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Link always knew there was something special about you. That was, something beyond the obvious. You were a being of absolute divinity in both beauty and intelligence. Not only that, but you saw him as a fitting devotee to grace with your presence. You saw him worthy of your worship. Someone to keep around rather than abandon, unlike some others he’s loved before. Of course you, absolutely incredible and utterly divine you, was special. There was absolutely no doubt about it —he’d kill anyone who had anything to say otherwise. He didn’t see the need to entertain or engage with such obvious mistruths. But there was always a nagging feeling that there was more to you than he could simply gather at face value. That there was something drawing him to you like a moth to a flame. Like he had some innate need for your presence like a starving man needs food. And yet, no matter how hard he tried nor how long he searched, he couldn’t exactly pin it. Perhaps it was sacrilegious of him to even doubt you, but his senses had never before led him wrong.

One must understand that, in the wreckage of his life post his heroics, the more animalistic side of him had since begun to merge with his sense of humanity. Two things, realms, entities mixing to eventually make some middle ground— an equilibrium. That line between man and beast blurred and bled into one another until he was more of himself than he ever was before. He could track down any missing person —incredibly useful for wrangling the rowdy children of Ordon— a task he could previously only do as a wolf but could now achieve as a human. He now had an odd hunger for raw meat. Originally, this happened posed quite a problem, as people don’t take well to seeing another person scarf down slabs of raw meat. But, as always, you provided a solution. Whenever he’d have to kill a man in offering to you —as they’d gotten too close to you, too close to touching what wasn’t theirs— all Link would need to do after the job was pick the bones clean. The carcass left quite a message, he was sure.

There was, However, the final issue he used to struggle with. The beast often demanded a Mate. He supposed it made some form of sense —the hunger for satisfaction. After All, it’s not like the beast can really understand that there’s more to living than survival and reproduction when you have consciousness. Whenever the urge would come back, knawing at his ribs like a spitting fire daring to be tamed, he’d let it fizzle out. It was all the real options he had. The beast didn’t beg for just anyone to tame the teeming flames. Instead it urged for someone specific. But of course, for no one he knew of. It cried and howled, with no way to sate the beast’s desires. And so, Link resigned himself to waiting. Again, It’s not like he had any other option. But of course you, marvellous you. You were the solution. You happened to be the very one that his soul cried out to. The calm sun, dowsing him with light after so long of storms. Like moonlight to a moth and bread to a starving man, you saved and sated him down to the matter of his vary soul. He didn’t dare question it, not now he had you. That would be simply disgraceful of him to turn you away in even the slightest. So while you attuned yourself to him, he could spend all his time and energy toward cherishing you. He could spend everything toward your worship. While you learned of him and of his home, he learned what foods you best like and how you’d best like him so you would just stay by his side. Please- you’re all he has left.

The summer night was quiet in Ordon, the kids having gone to bed and most of the adults having gone to follow. Crickets buzzed in the tall grasses and the pleasantly cool night meant you could open up the windows. The two of you lounged inside, curled up close. His face was nuzzled into your neck, calmed by the familiarity and warmth of your scent.

“Link?” Your voice was soft and quiet to match the comfortable silence you’d established for yourselves. He hummed back to you in response, looking up. He basked in the attention you gave him, he was blessed that you picked him. You could have had anyone. Well not anyone, he’d kill his competitors.

“Look, I have to show you something, but you have to promise you won’t freak out.” He sat upright with the worry that pulled at your tone. You were too good to live a life that provided you with worries. He’s gone through so much that you could live in blissful peace as you deserve. He’d level towns- he’d bring death to Hyrule as the two of you know it if it means your worries are calmed. You slid off the couch and returned with your fluffy cloak in hand. It was your favorite, lined with a thick pelt capable of keeping you warm and dry in harsh weather. Not to mention, you looked utterly adorable when the fluff dwarfed your frame. You clipped it over your shoulders and anxiously adjusted it so it fit perfectly. You breathed slowly, and it was like energy breathed into the still room. There was a small glow of light, and when it cleared, you were no longer sitting before him. Instead, a wolf looked back at him, ears perked and the same intelligent eyes looking back at his own. You were like him. That’s why you were meant to be together, why his soul called to yours. Gods- you were perfect for him in ways he didn’t know he craved. He was hellbent on making sure that you’d live a good life, by any means necessary.

[tedwardremus]

Jilytober Day 23

Prompt: Indulging in hobbies

James sat on his favorite rock overlooking the vast expanse of the Black Lake, the sunset casting deep shades of pink, orange, and purple across the sky. His quill moved swiftly over the parchment in his lap, sketching the scene before him. It had been his mum’s idea when he was a kid. James could never sit still—always had to be fiddling with something. When he was younger, he’d told her that he couldn’t think unless his hands were busy. If his hands weren’t moving, it was like his mind went blank.

So one day, after he had ruined yet another pair of robes by ripping the seams and fidgeting with his glasses until they broke, his mum suggested he carry a notebook and a self-inking quill. That way, he could always sketch or doodle instead of tearing up his clothes. It started off with simple, childish drawings, but over the years, James’s hobby had grown. He found a particular love for sketching sunsets, the Hogwarts grounds, and other peaceful landscapes.

But, of course, his favorite subject wasn’t scenery.

"There you are!" came a familiar voice from behind him.

James smiled as he turned around, spotting Lily Evans walking toward him. “Alright, Evans?”

"You missed dinner," she said as she sat down next to him, her citrus scent drifting toward him in the cool evening air.

“It was the perfect light for a sketch,” James replied with a shrug, lifting a sandwich from beside him. “Besides, I stopped by the kitchens before coming out here.”

Lily glanced out over the lake, the sunset colors reflecting in her bright green eyes. “It is a lovely evening.”

“Yeah, lovely,” James echoed, his heart picking up speed. He picked up his quill again, trying to distract himself from the urge to touch her hair, which glowed golden in the fading light.

“What are you drawing?” she asked, leaning in slightly. “The sunset?”

James quickly closed his notebook, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. “It’s nothing,” he muttered.

“Come on, Potter! You’re always doodling. An artist has to show off their work sometimes.”

“I’m hardly an artist.”

“Well, let me be the judge of that.” Lily leaned over and grabbed the notebook before he could stop her.

“No, I’d rather you didn’t!” James protested, reaching for it. “I’m not that good.”

“Great! Then I’ll have something to tease you about for the rest of your life,” Lily said with a mischievous grin.

“It’ll be a short life because I’ll die of embarrassment.”

Ignoring him, Lily opened the book and started flipping through the pages. Her playful expression slowly faded as she did, her mouth dropping open in surprise.

James’s stomach twisted in knots. “Please don’t think I’m weird,” he murmured, his voice barely audible.

Lily’s eyes met his, wide and full of surprise. “Most of these are of me.”

“Yeah,” he said, awkwardly running a hand through his hair.

“Why?”

James rolled his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. “You know why. The whole school knows why. I haven’t exactly been subtle. Now please give it back before I die of mortification.”

But instead of teasing him, Lily’s green eyes softened. “They’re really quite good, you know.”

“Yeah, well... I’ve had a lot of practice,” James muttered, unable to look at her.

“You make me look pretty,” she said softly, her voice filled with something more than surprise.

James swallowed, his heart pounding. “You are beautiful.”

Lily’s fingers slipped from the notebook, letting it fall into her lap. She leaned in, her gaze still locked with his, and kissed him—softly, sweetly. Her lips tasted faintly of the citrus she always seemed to carry with her. The world around them seemed to disappear as James let out a quiet sigh, finally reaching out to touch her hair like he’d been resisting the whole evening.

The kiss was brief, but when Lily pulled back, their faces were still close, and they lingered in each other’s arms, their hearts beating in perfect time.

[efingart]

Hey E! idkifishouldaskhereorinyourcodaccount BUT I’ll ask anyway. I’ve noticed you post a lot about Frank Woods, what made Woods be THE favorite character for you?

Hey no worries, I'm not exactly the most organized so it doesn't make a difference to me!

Oh my god where do I start? I'm going to try so hard to hold back because I will just tell you everything I like about him and this will take me even longer to write 😅

Frank falls into the unwanted child trope a bit. Not confirmed by Activision, but close enough and it is a trope that I find myself drawn to. The idea that he was a runaway, his home life must have been bad enough that the streets were better. Born right at the start of the Great Depression so his early life was never going to be easy. But he must have been resourceful and smart enough to survive. Another quality I like in my faves. It's interesting to think about that piece of his history that we will probably never get in any detail in canon. But that's ok, I'm happy to fill in the gaps with my own headcanons and fics.

Frank was then able to pick himself off the streets and enlist (his options were so limited, but he must have made the best choice for himself at the time.) Become such a standout that he was recruited into the CIA. And there, despite being a "self-reliant loner" he developed close friendships with Mason and Bowman. (as an aside, it is always funny when people hc he's an extrovert when he's very much not)

It's clear he cares for them deeply, even at the expense of his own well being as seen in 'Payback.' I do think he was still reeling from Bowman's death and that's why he acted with such reckless disregard for his own life. (But that's headcanon)

The way he reacts when anyone else is hurt or in danger, it's always them first him second, even in the middle of a firefight (redirecting Mason's attention to the pilot in 'Victor Charlie,' the kid on the PBR in 'Crash Site', the nurse during 'Suffer With Me' in BO2, multiple examples).

Then the way he treats Bell. I think he's the first person to deliver Bell a genuine compliment in the game (if you're a good shot). He knows his people and if I could ever get the damn sound bite again of him saying to Bell that he'd bet they'd like five minutes with the supercomputer to work again I'd link it here. How does he know Bell is such a nerd if he doesn't give a damn about his team?

He and Mason are the only ones who actually treat Bell as a member of the team. And that endeared me to him before I even knew about the plot twist.

And of course, the pain of Black Ops 2. He's just fucking dragged through the ringer isn't he? Everything, the shipping container, watching his entire team die, his tragic mistakes and how he reflects them as an old man. I really love that we get to see him as an old man. See him removed from his experiences in the 80s section of BO2. It's so interesting.

I mean even while he's still managing fresh life-changing injuries he still rallies for a kid who needs him. And he must have done a good job raising David because the kid turned out just fine in the end.

I probably could think of a half dozen more specific examples, his outrage at Project Greenlight for one: "Thousands dying in a flash and you're talking about fucking infrastructure."

Or how he has David's childhood drawings hung up in his room at the Vault.

I'm sure I'll have a dozen more after Black Ops 6 comes out if they deliver on the promised emotional journey storyline for Frank. (God, I'm so unbelievably happy he's in BO6.)

TL;DR

Frank is a complicated person. He has had it rough but doesn't wallow in self-pity. He's a smart and capable leader. He's imperfect. He knows how and when to keep things light. He takes care of his people. He rallies when he's most needed even if it's at his own expense. On the shallow end of things? He's hot, he's got great fashion sense.

Sorry, it took me a bit to get this all out. I think again I was trying to balance the urge to just dump every thought and feeling I have vs trying to be a bit more thoughtful about it. Also just cross-referencing things from the games to make sure I remembered them correctly. I'm sure there's a lot I left out. I'm planning on playing through 1, CW, & 2 again before BO6 comes out so I'm sure I'll have more thoughts to share. 😅

I genuinely appreciate you asking me about this, I love talking about Frank. Thank you so so much.

[paingoes]

Destroyer - In Shadows

(Masterlist)

another pretty short section, had to do a little check-in on delta

(Content: dissociation, conditioning, guilt, past trauma, implied child abuse, nightmares)

================

Delta struggled to remember a time he had felt worse in all his life. He was sure there were times. In his early, early childhood, when he was first broken in. He barely remembered those days anymore. It was too painful to think about when he didn’t have to. But the memories did come to surface, sometimes. He had internalized an alien way of being and had been made to hold it permanently if he wanted to live. He must have been more pliable then. The act took on a life of its own and whatever might’ve been there otherwise would never — could never — be known. It was a soft wrongness. He did not remember it well, but he imagined it must’ve felt very similar to the way he did right now.

He sat folded up in his room, clutching his head, struggling to breathe. He was drawing, which he never did. He drew out the forms he had seen in his dreams. Some of them were of real memories, but just as many were images sliced together from a life at war. He drew them over and over again, then tore them up so that there could be no evidence of his distress. He wanted to scream. He wanted to be good. These two impulses chafed at each other in his mind. He tilted his head forward and blood poured out of his nose. 

His body kept producing these reactions against his will. He kept getting sick. He choked down his own symptoms in front of the others, not wishing to be sent to the doctor’s unwillingly. He didn’t want to take pills. The shivers, though, they wouldn’t go away. No matter how much he tried to calm himself, he kept flinching abruptly. Each shadow seemed deadly and alive and inert.

He hated it here. He could admit it to himself now, but it didn’t lead him anywhere. He hated everything on the ship and everything outside of it. He hated the Empire, selfishly. He hated what his life had become, the way it never could have turned out any other way, the thousand ways it could all come to an end. He didn’t hate Paris, exactly. Though that would be easier. When he thought about the prince, his chest just got hollow and achy. Loyalty felt like an open wound.

Delta wished he couldn’t feel anything. That was the idea. That was always the act. But when Simon — or god forbid Paris — started to talk to him like he was a person, how was he supposed to keep it up? How could they speak to him like that and still-

Maybe he did hate them after all. He wished he couldn’t feel gratitude. He could’ve drowned in it. 

“I’m sorry,” Delta said, so many times that it lost its meaning.

“Will you knock it the fuck off already?!” Paris yelled. Because it had become self-indulgent, really. He didn’t know why he was apologizing. He just wanted to make things right; that’s all it stood for. But it was hopeless. It was all fucked. Delta was so, so confused.

He kept going back to the forums. His hands shook when he opened the laptop, but this time it wasn’t fear. It was guilt. Paris had spared him once already. Delta had begged his forgiveness. He had sworn not to do it again. Still, late at night, almost every night, he got back online. He was a lurker; it was a natural progression of what he’d been all his life. 

Delta had never been outside of the Empire’s walls. It was vast, yes, but it was not everything. The internet was an artifact left mostly untouched by its dominion. Delta studied it with a kind of numb curiosity. People spoke so differently there, so casually. A lot of them were just as cruel and as angry as Empire’s players, but then a lot of them weren’t. Again, he felt a strange ache. The world felt so far away from him.

That night, he got the strongest urge to remove his collar. He couldn’t, of course. That would defeat the point of having it. But he still felt with certainty this was the thing that would fix him. If he could just see without senses, feel the pulse of all the energy around him, let the light out…he was sure it would help. It always did a hard reset on his mental state and he needed badly to stop feeling the way he did right then, to let some new and overwhelming force come to replace it. His wish went unfulfilled. Instead, he just went to sleep, sinking back into the unconscious world. The shadows rose up to meet him.

[starsinmylatte]

Do you have any thots about the blueberry man lately ? ❤️

Ooooh anon, my beloved…. Let’s see what my brain comes up with for our fav Grand Admiral. As always, we do a bit of legends/canon Thrawn mix (but tbh, this probably leans way more legends)

Pairing: Thrawn x afab!reader

Tws and tags: size diff, belly bulge, cockwarming, face-sitting, oral (f!receiving), voice kink, men who eat it for their own pleasure, Thrawn is an alien with alien bits (human variant, no tentacles), no proofreading we die like clones

18+ ONLY below the cut. Minors DNI

Alright, alright, now hear me out:

Chiss anatomy is similar to human anatomy… but not exactly the same. The first time Thrawn takes you to bed, he warns you that it could be a bit of a tight, painful fit at first.

You quickly learn that he definitely isn't being overdramatic. Nothing about Thrawn is small. From his ego and intellect to his cock the man is big.

Length is only a little more than what is "normal" for a human but stars the man is thick and ridged in a way that makes your mouth water indecently.

So, every time he truly takes you, Thrawn spends so much time preparing you.

Sex is never really a fast event for him anyways. There is the odd chance he will pull you in to quickly satisfy a specific craving (i.e., calling you into his office to ride his face before a meeting because he needs to taste you right then). However, if he is to indulge, it will be done properly.

Other men with his..... gifts would likely just brag about how big they are and try to force it in with little-to-no actual preparation..... But, yeah, that's not how Thrawn operates.

The Grand Admiral draws much of his satisfaction from your pleasure, and he'd be appalled by the idea of actually hurting you. At least in a way you didn't consent to.

This also means that if he actually fucks you, it's a whole event. You might as well write off the entire night because you won't be leaving the bed. Of course, it doesn't help that walking becomes very difficult after.

Your first orgasm is always on his tongue. Partially because the man loves to taste you and partly because he wants you adrift in a haze of desire and pleasure as quickly as possible.

"Oh, ch'eo ch'acah... You taste divine," Thrawn practically purrs against your soaked cunt. His muscular arms wrap around your legs as he reclines between them, one large hand splayed across your hips to keep them from arching off the bed. The other wraps around to part your lips for his deliciously torturous assault.

His fingers join the mix after your first orgasm. They stroke the bud of your arousal languidly, trailing down just enough to circle around the entrance to your core teasingly as Thrawn leans back to see you whine for his touch.

Thrawn's red eyes glow with lust in the darkness as the fist finger slips in, but it isn't enough... it will never be enough. Your walls flutter and clench around the digit, drawing a low groan from your lover as he hears your shameless cries.

"Patience, darling," he chides, slipping in a second finger and stroking them against the spongy spot nestled inside. "You'll get your wish soon enough."

Your second orgasm has Thrawn bringing his fingers to his lips to show you just how he savors the taste of your arousal. He licks it off, and you moan again at how raw and shameless his desire is.

Multiple orgasms later, it's finally time. You are already a wreck beneath him, absolutely dripping with arousal and begging for more, but Thrawn still takes the time to pull a small bottle of lube from his nightstand.

You can feel every single ridge as he slowly pushes in with a growl. Thrawn lavishes kisses up and down the column of your neck as your back arches at the exquisite burn of being stretched and filled so completely.

There is still a brief moment near the end when you tense up, and he immediately stops to remind you to relax. His own body is shaking, voice low and rough in your ear as he fights back the urge to just sink all the way in. "Breathe... Relax...... You're doing so well for me."

Stars, you were always a fool for his voice. With another low moan, your body obeys, and he finally bottoms out, the blunt head of his cock nestled against your cervix.

Sometimes all you need is to grind your hips up and down as he stays still and talks you through another orgasm, your walls clenching at his sinful words and rubbing against the thick ridges. Either that or he will sit in his command chair as he works late at night and have you warm his cock, lifting your hips up and down every so often to draw out your arousal.

Thrawn loves to tease you like this, even though it just drives him insane too. He will run his fingers over the thick outline of his cock nestled in your lower tummy, pressing against it in a way that has you whimper and beg.

After everything is said and done, you can expect the most thorough, tender aftercare from him.

Tagging some friends! If your name is crossed through, please consider updating your username by sending me a message. Join my taglist here.

@saradika @djarrex @thefact0rygirl @firelordillyria @superfunething @thefireflyreader @mysticalgalaxysalad @babygirl-leon-kennedy @justanothersadperson93 @14mcmd112 @ele-millennial-weirdo @thestudyofwhyiexist @mittheresabosen @kurosakiyami @vibratingbonesbis @idkwhatimdoinghah @hereforthesunrise @darth-papi @ashotofspotchka @handbaskethell @my-awakened-ghost @ironandglass @amyroswell @chaosjedimaester @cassandrablacker

[moonmeg]

Guess what ship has consumed my life atm again. Not my favorite work but have it anyway ✨️

Someone I can trust

"You look a lot like yer father. Talk about family resemblance."

The words felt like a slap to his face. His eyes grew wider, his body tensed. Suddenly he was wide awake with the endless of thoughts rushing in.

"Ah, that's uhm... Fergus is not my father actually.", he informed her.

The regret in her face set in quickly. She straightened her back, unwrapped her arms from her knees. What was wrong with her? Why did she feel the need to say that?

"I'm sorry, I just assumed-"

"No, no, it's alright!", Neil assured her, trying his best at a smile, "you couldn't have known."

Breena turned away ashamed. Great. Of course she'd mess up with him too. She hid her face behind her red hair, purposely letting it fall over it. She just wanted to sink and disappear into the ground beneath her.

"You aren't exactly wrong either! He is my step father! Just not my biological one."

He kept trying assuring her. He could've phrased his first sentence after her remark better, he found. Now he had to shake Breena out of her embarrassment somehow.

"Breena, it's alright, really. Ye couldn't have known that. Ye saw pictures of a man next to my mother and nobody of us treats him any differently than children would treat their father! And granted, he does have similarities to my siblings and me. Ye definitely could think we're his."

She glanced at him through the strands of hair covering her face. He was smiling at her. He always was. Not only at her. It's who Neil was. But this time, when she examined his eyes a little more, they seemed... duller. Usually they were bright, warm and vibrant. Rays of sunlight only enhanced that trait. Over the months that she spent with him, gold had become her favorite color. Despite the setting sun shining on him, the vibrancy of his golden iris seemed less. She knew hurt when she saw it - she had become a master at reading eyes. His lips were smiling but his eyes were telling her that her remark of him looking like his father - as she implied his biological one - hurt him.

"I'm sorry", she said quietly.

"You dinna have to be."

"It clearly upset ye I said that. Eyes dinna lie."

Neil rubbed his neck. He turned to the side and stared at the grass around him. He was out of options. What does he say now? Clearly he can't lie around her. His eyes would give him away. He could start again with "It's alright, ye couldn't have known". That didn't help him earlier though and it was doubtful repeating himself a third time would do the trick. He thought about it, exhaling through his nose heavily. This was not what he wanted the conversation to end with but every possible approach he came up with and played through in his head made the situation worse.

Breena watched him silently.

She leaned her head down to her knees and picked a flower growing near the fence. The small white petals rapidly turned blue, then black. She twirled it in her fingers. One direction. The opposite direction. Picking the petals. Battling the urge to ask for details. She couldn't upset him more than she has already. Especially not since she knew how difficult it could be to talk about an imperfect family. Unfortunately, curiosity was a force too great to deny even the attempt. Ideas entered her mind. She could ask him about it, that doesn't mean he has to answer. If he brushed her off and rather not talk about it, she'd not push further and simply switch topics quickly or actually draw an invisibility spell and never undo it again - either will do.

"Is it alright to ask what happened?"

Breena yelped and quickly jerked her head up from her knees, startled she actually said that out loud. She covered her mouth in immediate regret. What was she thinking? Why did she do that? Trying to take it back and safe herself from seeming absolutely insensitive, she turned in his direction, hands up defensively, panic in her face.

"Ye dinna have to-"

"He left."

It came out of his mouth plump and direct. Neil fidgeted with his fingers. He was almost indifferent on this.

Almost.

"After Ian's birth my mother and he started havin' frequent fights. They've had those before too but it got worse then. I actually dinna remember much, nor did I ever ask my mother or older siblings about it. I only ken he started drinking. To numb out his frustration probably because he was too incapable to settle issues in his marriage like a normal person. Only he was the type of person that shouldna drink. It made him aggressive. Violent."

"Oh Titan, did he-"

"He never raised a hand against my siblings or me nor against our mother. He did break things or punch holes into the walls. And then he left and never bothered to reach out again."

Breena took the information in. She stared at him. She didn't expect him to say anything on that matter. Judging by his reaction earlier she thought he was in the same situation as her: still processing, still healing. Neil looked into the distance, one arm resting on his angled leg, the other supporting his weight on the ground. He wasn't focusing on anything, his mouth neither frown nor smile. It seemed like he didn't care much. He was exceptionally calm about this. There was anger in his brows and the way he talked about that man. Resentment for having failed as husband and father. He didn't just pretend to not care - he actually didn't have many thoughts to spend on his biological father.

It left Breena thinking...

"When?"

"I was around 5 years old. I barely remember anything about him. To me he has no face, no voice. Most of what I just told ye is actually what Edan and Blair* told me. And honestly, if that's what he was like, I'm glad I have no memory of him."

"I'm sorry."

"This is the third time ye're apologising for something ye had no influence over.", he glanced at her with a cocked eyebrow and an amused smile.

"I'm sor-", she stopped herself from speaking the last syllable. She cleared her throat with a single grunt before starting over :"It must've been difficult for ye."

"Not really. After he left, things got better. And it didna take long for Fergus to become part of our lives instead.", Neil shrugged. The smile that tugged on his lips after Breena's self cut-off apology grew wider. As if infected with his smile Breena smiled too. She didn't notice she did. It wasn't in her control.

"He's a nice fellow. I like his creative cussing. It's almost art."

He snorted, then laughed. She was right. It was a trait of his step father to not cuss when the younger two children were around and even with the older ones Fergus never actually exclaimed the swears and instead changed it into something fit for children's ears. And those were indeed almost an art form in themselves. They were terrible and barely ever made sense but they had Neil and his siblings, especially Ian, laughing every time. Breena chuckled herself. When she turned to look at the brunette laughing into his knees she felt... proud? She made him laugh. Usually their roles were reversed but now she was the one to lighten his mood again (after having pulled it down just minutes before). His laugh was well contagious and somehow it was a sound she instantly adored. It's not the first time she heard him laugh but it was the first time he laughed full-heartedly because of her. She'd gladly keep that sound and sight in her life for ever. When Neil laughed, she automatically laughed with him.

"And from what I've seen and heard he loves you all deeply. Ye're all definitely his children to him.", Breena added. Her proud smile turned sweet. She knew Neil would love to hear that. He probably already knew but a reminder never hurts, she thought.

"I mean, Keith and Maisie actually are-", he calmed his laugh and caught her rolling eyes at him, "-but I get what ya mean. He's our father to us too. I just... I'm an idiot who can't think before he speaks.", he scratched his cheek nervously as he remembered how his answer to Breena's remark could have been phrased better. Had it been, this conversation would've gone a little lighter.

"I'm sorry I made ye feel bad."

"Forgiven, forgotten. I'm used to yer idiocy by now after all.", Breena nudged her shoulder to his laughing.

"Ey!"

"Yer words, not mine!"

They laughed together. She smiled at him, embracing everything they just talked about. Her smile fell a little as she started comparing the life Neil was living with her own. She hated herself for doing so, she shouldn't compare their lives or the way their families worked. The fact that Neil could say he does have a father every child could only dream of after all, the fact his mother always loved him, the fact he actually was wanted by both... she was happy for him but at the same time she wondered what she did to not get what he had. What anyone around her always had. The sun before them suddenly seemed to set faster than before. The last rays would yield to the warm summer night, its stars and moon, in a few minutes. The orange sky would turn a soft purple, the life of day retiring until the sun would take the lead again in this eternal dance it shared with the moon.

"Ye're very lucky, Neil, do ye ken that?"

"Aye, I ken I'm lucky to have a loving and intact family. Aside from the occasional problems that occur in every family that is. I ken that some weren't so lucky.", he turned to her. Mirroring her, there was a fall from ajoyful smile to one of pity.

He knew her home life had not been easy. He knew no details but he figured enough things happened.

"I won't ask, dinna worry.", he added. He had asked before, curiosity leading him like it did Breena before, but she never answered. It was unsatisfying to be left alone with theories of what might have been her home life before. He wanted to help her, be a friend to her but if he didn't know what she lived through, he was without means to be of help. On the other hand, he couldn't blame her for not telling him. He was a stranger to her. At least he had to remind himself again and again that he was. Maybe by now they were on territory of friendship but that still didn't mean he had any right to know of what Breena went through. Maybe she didn't want his help.

Feeling that his eyes were glued to her, she brushed a strand of hair aside with a sigh.

"I'm not ready to talk about it yet-"

"Breena, you-"

"Let me finish. I ken I don't have to tell ye anything and I ken that ye'd never push me to do so. And I wouldn't. I never talked about my issues, about my life and what I dealt with. I dinna own that to anyone. But...", she smiled sheepishly, "... I met someone."

For a second his heart sank to his stomach. Someone? Oh and she smiled... and that soft glance in her eyes... she was curling her hair around her finger... almost like...Was she in love with them? Was this were he had to accept Breena didn't see him the way he saw her? That she never saw more but a friend? Did she even see him as that? Would he have to actually, truly let her go?

"Oh... Who?"

"A kindhearted lad. Always smiling, always caring. I've known him for some time now, not a day goes by I'm not wi' him. I was really rude to him at first and I most regret it. I did him wrong. Very wrong. Turns out he's actually incredibly kind and generous and fun and affectionate and attentive and just overall a wonderful person."

She was talking about him. She couldn't have made it more obvious. Neil was that 'someone'. Flattered by her words he picked up his smile again.

"Aye? Is he handsome?", he smirked clearly just jesting.

She rolled her eyes again amused.

"If being handsome was a crime, he'd be the Boiling Isles' number one criminal."

"Oh wow", Neil chuckled. His cheeks had gained color to them by now and Breena noticed. Her own face tinting rose as well. Something about him made her nervous. Nervous in the manner of she played with her hair or fiddled with her hands, avoided eye contact and was robbed of her confidence. She looked aside.

Their hands were close. Resting next to each other on the grass in the small gap between them, solely the fingertips of their pinkies touching. Slowly, she inched her hand closer and tried to dig it underneath his. She was shaking, afraid she possibly misread him. She never before doubted her ability to read signs people gave. Whenever she was with Neil though, especially right now where he was so close, where he was looking at her with such fondness, she didn't know she was right anymore but she desperately hoped to be.

"I dinna ken how he managed that in this rather short time I've known him but I feel safe around him. I feel heard and understood. I ken that I can let myself fall wi'out a second thought and he will catch me. I finally found someone I can actually trust. Someone I can be vulnerable wi'. Someone I can show my worst and ken that he willna judge me. I feel like he'd accept me."

"I'm sure he does."

He lightly squeezed her hand underneath his. They softly smiled at each other, holding the eye contact intensely. Something inside him pulled him to her. He's thought about this sort of moment with her. Breena had caught his attention from the first second he spotted her red curls in his aunt's tavern. She had been an interest of his that he cared and ran after most but simultaneously she was an interest with the highest risk to just slip out of his life again. Neil would've let her go if she had decided to continue traveling after the one night she had found shelter in his family's farm house - that was their original agreement anyways. He couldn't have kept her here. They weren't a couple. She wasn't his. And she still wasn't. But he wanted her to be. She consumed his thoughts day and night, he couldn't concentrate sometimes, not on anything else but Breena.

Breena and her lovely round face, her shimmering green eyes underneath red-brown lashes, her rose lips, the dusted freckles on her cheeks and nose spreading to her temples, to her ears, her neck, her arms and hands, the way her long red curls framed her face and fell to her back.

He felt his heart pick up pace the longer they looked each other. Breena shortly lowered her gaze to his lips and then met Neil's eyes again. They exchanged no words, only looks and yet they understood each other perfectly.

He leaned in closer, brought his hand up to her face and cupped it in his palm. She followed him... leaned further in, tilted her head and slowly closed her eyes until she felt his lips touch hers.

/////////////////////////////////

*Neil's older brother and sister

[crystalizedcryolite]

While waiting for me to finally finish the next chapter..

DESIGN ANALYSIS FOR MY VIGILANTE AU >:D

As always, let's start in rainbow order! But first things first; all CG members have matching eyes, in one way or another! Red has yellow eyes, Orange has green eyes, Yellow has orange eyes, Green has blue eyes, and Blue has red eyes!! I might change things depending on how it looks, though.

Anyway, Red!!

I'll admit, I'm definitely giving him a design upgrade, but let's talk about this one.

Ah, the classic yellow bandanna. How could I leave it out? It's iconic!

His hair is definitely the wildest out of everyone's. A lot of black and grey in his design, too, which makes the yellow bits and the light-up shoes REALLY stand out.

The yellow matches his eyes and bandanna, and is reminiscent of that media trope with seeing yellow eyes peek from the darkness. The mask is, of course, to hide his face. Red didn't really seem like the guy to wear a visor like Green, or cover his entire face like Blue, so he gets that mask! Might change that, who knows.

His outfit looks thrown together with not that amount of effort. Very casual, as Green pointed out. Before Orange, he was the latest addition to the team, which can mean he can be a bit inexperienced. Wanted to convey that somehow!

Light-up shoes, oh, light-up shoes... who doesn't love them? Green certainly doesn't, but Red disagrees!

Next one!

Orange/Sketch

Now, I didn't draw their vigilante outfit yet, but I added the description of it to give an idea!

I wanted her hair to give a very anime-protagonist feel, if that made sense? Not sure if I got that right but it works for me! And hey! Freckles!

Working clothes: His pants are covered in paint to give an artist-like feel. (I should know. I paint a lot and some of my clothes did NOT survive the process.) As for the top and apron, I wanted it to feel like an actual café worker's uniform without it being a basic starbucks rip-off.

Vigilante outfit: VERY reminiscent of outfits animated characters would wear in scenes where they're doing some graffiti on the streets. That was my main inspiration behind the design.

Also in dark colors. They have to blend into the darkness and stuff!

The pouch mentioned was for practical sake; as is something I like to do when thinking of designs. And it helps with the artistic urge to draw at any time, regardless of what the situation is.

Not much to say about Orange's design, besides the fact that I wanted to give it a very protagonist-y vibe.

Yellow/Y

The second design is more or less his actual vigilante outfit, buuuut yeah!

Curly hair -despite my inability to draw it- and Yellow has been a favorite hc of mine!

His outfit is somewhat inspired by steampunk? Not exactly, but I DID have steampunk in mind while making it! The pilot's jacket was the best change yet.

Someone on a03 has told me that he looks like Alan, somehow! I'm not sure if I see it, so does anyone else see it? It would be a funny coincidence if so!

Green/Songbird

His hair is my favorite part of my Green design so I HAD to keep it! The classic headphones are there with a gamer-ish colour scheme.

VERY hip-hop and streetdance inspired! His visor is a reference to the sunglasses Orange gave him in the "More Faces" short, rather than his sunglasses in the Influencer Arc.

His clothes are a reference to the clothes I see my sister wear for her own dance training, and I love streetwear in general, so its a perfect fit! The necklace is just for show, though. Nothing practical about that, but it does look cool! Plus, it's a notion to his powers! His outfit is practical, but still shows off somehow, just like Green!

My vigilante!Green is the most experienced in the group, so I wanted him to look that way, somehow? And he definitely looks the most professional! I think!

Blue/The Witch

The second member to join the vigilante team!

I HAD to give her a hat. The witch's hat is a must. Practical? Not exactly. Cool? Yes, indeed.

The mask is my favorite part. A direct reference to the "Faces" short, AND a good way for Blue to, ahem, mask her identity (hehe a pun)

The sweater and coat combination seems strange, but it looks a little like a modern witch outfit? Trenchcoats definitely give a vigilante vibe in a way, and Yellow already had one, so Blue gets a belt and a sweater to go with it!

Blue definitely needed a bag for her potions. She can't just make them on the spot!- well, she can, but it would still be a hassle! She'd be the most practical when it comes to her clothing for vigilantism, after Yellow.

Purple/Aeolus!

Obviously, the cloak is a reference to elytra. The green hairtie, the bag and the cloak buckle is a reference to their mother, Orchid. You can see the vines on the bag strap, the flowers on the bag and buckle, and the leaf-shape on the hairtie.

There's also a lot of green on them, wink wink ;3

To hide their identity, they cover a majority of their face with the cloak hood!

It was hard to balance the colors, but I'm happy with the results! This one is simple compared to the others, but its still cool nonetheless!

Purple was meant to have ripped jeans but my drawing ability to low, so... sorry, Purple.

AAAAND THAT'S ALL! Sorry if this seemed boring or disappointing, or whatnot. I tried my best!

[whatinthehale17]

Okay so, this is a bit of long shot but I'm planning on starting a fanmade project for TE. It's my favorite choices story and there's still so much you can do with it.

I'm currently figuring out how to use Ren'py right now and watching videos and what not to figure out how to do this. I'm pretty new to all this but I think it'd be a fun project.

I'm probably gonna do some of the writing like the plot and Shreya's route (best girl) and also as I said I'm figuring out the coding as well.

But I'm definitely gonna need some help on this. I know others have expressed interest in a 3rd book and now is your chance if you're willing to help. Again it's fanmade and we're not making money off of this, this is just for fun and you can bail at any time.

I'll be making a discord once I start to get some interest in this so the link will be up at some point but if you're interested, just comment saying you'd like to help and what you'll be able to provide for this project.

Co-runner- I'm gonna need someone to help me run this project, help me keep the thing running and I'm a bit of an idiot so I'll be coming to you if I need help with anything. You'll be the Atlas to my MC lmao.

Artist- If you're a good drawer or you just love to draw and wanna help out on this project, we'd love to have you. I'm thinking we'll need some new characters for the plot and if you want, maybe some new backgrounds too (or we could just pick ones from the multiple backgrounds choices already has)

Writer- I'm a lesbian and obsessed with Shreya so I don't really have any idea about the other routes. But I know a lot of people are obsessed with like Beckett and the other love interests so anyone willing to help work on the different routes would be great. Not to mention the plot of the book, the adventures the pend pals could be getting into and side stuff like your relationship with your mom and the villains and such.

Coders- Like any great game, we'd need people who can code or wanna try it out like I'm currently doing. I've always heard Ren'py is good for that stuff and that's what the ILW crew used and that's what I'm currently learning right now so if you wanna try it out or already know how, we'd appreciate the help.

And of course, if you just wanna help out, you can join and I'll figure something out for you to do. My work schedule is kind of whack right now so this week we probably won't be getting anything done unfortunately (maybe Thursday or Friday if I have people and what not) but hopefully the week after, i'll have things figured out.

Last but not least, my idea for how I think the plot should go-

The gang is back for their next year of school

MC, Shreya, Zeph, Beckett- Juniors

Griffin- Senior

Aster, Atlas- Sophomores

But just like always, the school year is never simple for them.

The High Attuned has been watching over the school and visiting more frequently, keeping an eye on you and Atlas.

Zeph is having trouble with Thief captain as much as he hates to admit it.

Griffin is having parent troubles after they found out about his interest in Natural disaster field work instead of being a professional Thief player.

Shreya has hired an assistant to help with Serene and Sublime, though the assistant keeps messing things up and causing Shreya to lose customers, important ones at that.

With Beckett's urge to please his professors, he works himself too much to the point he begins to experience burnout and freaks out over the smallest things resulting in him pushing his friends away.

Aster is having trouble running the shop and keeping up with her studies and she's worried she might have to close it down.

Atlas is happy to catch up on lost time with their mom but when their mom becomes a professor for the school, Atlas isn't exactly sure how to feel about it and starts to lash out on Theia, resulting in the MC to have to try and fix the relationship.

MC does their best to help everyone with their problems but begins to have problems of their own when the school recruits another sun-att who does everything in their power to one up MC in every way.

Of course, it's just a rough draft of how I think the year should go, but we could always change stuff around if people have better ideas. Also, of course, there will be new spells to learn like in the other books and I was also thinking like...was I the only one that shipped Dean Swan and Theia together? Like Dean Swan already acts like a mother figure to the twins. And some of the sources will be back like Gemma and I really wanted to incorporate the High Attuned because we got like two minutes of information about them and then nothing ever again.

So yeah, this is super long and we can talk more on the discord but if you're interested just tell me what you wanna do.

[theempressdiary]

Sensuality or sexuality? What’s the difference?

In the realm of desire, two terms often intermingle, yet they carry distinct and, often, nuanced meanings: sensuality and sexuality. While the latter tends to hog the spotlight, sensuality seems to lurk in the shadows, often overlooked. So, I’ve decided to do a small deep dive, count it as the first dive, to understanding sensuality. I chose this topic because I often confused the two since more often than not what we see is sexual with sensuality sprinkled in to cover up the more overt part of sexuality. That left me curious, what exactly is sensuality it’s not just a lighter version of sexuality. I want to explore this alongside my journey of understanding who I am as a soft domme! So, let’s dive in.

Firstly, let's peek into the linguistics of it all. "Sexuality," has its roots in the Latin word "sexus" (meaning division into male and female). Today it’s used more as an action or preference. It is the way people experience (or don’t experience) and express themselves. It can involve biology, psychology, physical, erotic, emotional, social, and spiritual feelings and behaviors. It can take on different meanings for different people easily. It’s a hotbed of topics, stories, and experiences. What I’m trying to say is that it’s a broad topic that covers an ever-expanding list of definitions. For this essay, let’s just say that it is that primal urge drawing us towards procreation for the sake of simplicity.

On the other hand, "sensuality," derived from the Latin "sensus" (pertaining to the senses), involves sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. It can be all, one, or a combination of them. It's the soft caress of silk on skin, the aroma of jasmine in the breeze, and the symphony of flavors dancing on the tongue from a decadent meal. Sensuality is the subtle seductress that coaxes us into a realm of heightened awareness and pleasure without needing a “final” act. Sensuality can exist without sex or sexuality even when it can elicit those desires within us. I find that fascinating, not a mention of sex, no nudity, no flirting, and the body is aroused purely by the senses. Isn’t that interesting?

Now, let's dive deeper, picture this: a couple strolling hand in hand through a moonlit garden, their fingertips tracing delicate patterns on each other's skin. The rustle of leaves, the fragrance of blooming blossoms, the gentle hum of insects—every sensation is amplified, every moment dripping with sensuality. There’s no mention of sex, but there is a distinct feeling one has in romantic moments such as these. Pleasure! Without any action taken, pleasure is pulled from the scents, the sounds, the touch…that is sensuality—a symphony of stimuli igniting the fires of passion. More often than not, the ultimate pleasure is mentioning sex or sexual gratification. Maybe our senses become wrapped up so deeply in pleasure we can’t differentiate between pleasure and sex but they are two distinct ideas that can live without each other. Of course, I know that there are different levels of pleasure and we do know the distinction between the two, but do we always recognize the distortion between them?

Let's flip the script for a moment and explore sexuality. Imagine a crowded nightclub pulsating with throbbing beats and gyrating bodies. Sweat-slicked skin, low-eyed gazes, and the heady scent of pheromones hang thick in the air. Now you may think, how is this example not sensual? I never mentioned it wasn’t sensual in its way, the big difference maker here is that the goal is not to bring about pleasure through the senses. It is a place to come together with peers and engage in socializing and/or dancing and more than anything, flirting. All these things are pleasurable in their own ways (depending on who you are) but again the bottom line is that those experiences aren’t defined by the senses. They are defined by the actions.

While both sensuality and sexuality can coexist, I believe these days there’s an overabundance of sexuality and very few instances of sensuality without sex. If sensuality is shown it’s seen as sexual or the very next depiction on screen is sexualized.

Take this lingerie ad. While the satin and lace may feel absolutely wonderful, the image itself isn't focused on how it feels on, the focus is how it looks on and subsequently how you'll feel once it's off.

Sensuality =/= Sex. Although sensuality can set the stage, and sexuality can provide the grand finale—you do not need one to experience the other. They are independent of one another. Two separate entities that can easily walk hand in hand. I believe that the absolute lack of sensual depictions today leads us to a misunderstanding of how to experience life and derive pleasure from it regularly. When we see sensuality and pleasure on screen it’s usually a sexual experience or a luxurious experience, one that will cost more than you would expect, and that’s not what sensual experiences truly consist of. They can certainly be expensive but if you remember the previous definition, you will see that they don’t have to be, they only need to incorporate your senses. If you can experience something pleasurable (to you) and stay present in that moment with that sense or those senses then you are experiencing sensuality. It’s my goal to find my sensual experiences for myself and others like me who find themselves feeling a bit unsatisfied with regular life. I hope to explore and uncover new sensual experiences to share!

Although I don’t plan on sticking just to sensual topics, I do find them very interesting. Sensuality and sexuality are two very strong ideas that make up a lot of our conversations subconsciously. So while I lean towards sensuality as my main focus over sexuality, I like to explore both topics because they are so closely related. I believe that both hold the key to unlocking a world of boundless pleasure and profound connection! And what is a good/happy life if you can’t say it’s pleasing to you?

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ —

NEXT TOPIC: PAIN OR PLEASURE? HOW ARE THEY THE SAME?

[fandomfluffandfuck]

AAAAAAAA IF YOU MADE MÅNESKIN THEMED STUCKY DRABBLE OR FIC I WOULD PASS AWAY I ADORE THEM (Coraline is SO Stucky)

related to this

I have so many fucking ideas for them that are song related, you don't understand 😫😫 I wish all I had to do all day, every day was write but even then, I don't think I would get to every idea I have!

Måneskin, though, I just--

Brought you some roses, you didn't take them So I shed a tear Pouring some champagne over your panties So that we can cheer Counting the hours, counting the seconds 'Till I can feel your bones There is a diamond on your pillow When you're coming home Alone, I've been waiting So long, it's true Dance in your shoes, read your diary to Get inside of you, you, you Forever and ever and ever Cried on your nudes, wearing your perfume Now I taste like you, you, you Forever and ever and ever I was dancing in your shoes When I read your diary to Try to get inside of you Put on your lipstick, show me your kinks I'm not afraid of them Show me the lovin', the lovin', the lovin' That you'll never give to a man I'm not a coward, I'm not a hero But I can be your toy I'll be the pill that you wanna swallow When you're looking for the joy Alone, I've been waiting So long, it's true Dance in your shoes, read your diary to Get inside of you, you, you Forever and ever and ever Cried on your nudes, wearing your perfume Now I taste like you, you, you Forever and ever and ever I was dancing in your shoes When I read your diary to Try to get inside of you Oh, why don't you give a little love now, baby? A little bit of love Alone, in the shower Using my left hand so it feels like you So please, I'm begging To feel something new Dance in your shoes, read your diary to Get inside of you, you, you Forever and ever and ever Cried on your nudes, wearing your perfume Now I taste like you, you, you Forever and ever and ever I was dancing in your shoes When I read your diary to Try to get inside of you

This just fucking screams roommate, best friend, pining-to-be-lovers Bucky to me.

Bucky plays it cool, but when Steve's out of the house, he can't help himself. He lets loose and indulges his yearning.

He snatches a pair of Steve's underwear from the laundry, it's his turn to do it, and imagines what they might smell like if they weren't freshly washes, how they might look if they were stained, how they would strain across Steve's crotch and turn dark, wetted with pre-cum like spilled champagne.

Further, feeling his bones, he imagines pressing himself all up against Steve's skinny frame, using one hand to encircle both of his wrists, pinning him down to his mattress.

His feet don't fit in Steve's shoes on account of their size difference, but that doesn't stop him from cramming his feet into them and dancing (stumbling really) to Steve's favorite songs when he's alone in their house just to sate the urge to take Steve out on the town and dance with him in front of god and everyone.

Spraying Steve's cologne on his own neck, across his own pillow, just to pretend Steve was there--that close to him.

Not reading Steve's diary, but close enough, carefully sliding his sketchbooks out from where he stashes them to flip through the pages and see what his little artist has been up to. He spends as long as he can admiring the drawings but always carefully places them exactly back where they were so he doesn't suspect a thing.

And, of course, Bucky using his alone time to drag out his jerk off sessions, fantasizing about all the things he could do with Steve, all the things he doesn't know about him but wants to. It's always the quiet ones that have the most kinks, and he's dying to know what Steve doesn't say.

Ugh. It would be so good.

And Coraline, too!! Yes!

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter fourteen

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

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august 7, 2018 los angeles, california orion

One week since Calum left and I don't know how I can miss him more than I do right now. I know it's only going to get worse. Everything is only going to get worse.

I'm finally not feeling completely like death, but my second chemo appointment is today, so that'll be changing quite quickly.

Now that I've been to a chemo appointment, I know what to expect. Today, I pack my fluffy blanket that Crystal got me, my worn out copy of Catcher in the Rye, headphones, and a phone charger. I'm dressed in my only pair of joggers and a crop top with Cal's Real Madrid hoodie tied around my shoulders to wear inside the hospital. I make three coffees: one for me, one for Emelia, and one for Ron. I put mine in a spill proof bottle so I can put it in my bag and carry the other two.

I watch Emelia's location, waiting for the blue dot to get close enough to me that I can go downstairs and meet her out front when she pulls up. After giving Duke a kiss on the nose, I head out, taking the elevator down to the lobby and dropping Ron's coffee off at the desk. He's on the phone but he smiles gratefully and mouths 'thank you' while I keep walking past him, seeing Em's car right outside already.

Emelia fills me in on her morning. Her roommates have been slacking on their share of the dishes and she's been annoyed. It's typical stuff, and I feel like she always has the same gripes in her life. I'm somewhat jealous of the cyclical nature of her problems. Mine aren't even on the same road. I was jolted from a life of LSAT stress and classes to a life of IVs and sterile hospitals and a death sentence.

By now, she knows exactly how to get to the hospital and drops me off in front of the door.

"You're done at 3?" She asks, confirming when she'll come back.

"Yeah, 3, but I can wait a while if that's too early." Her shifts normally end right at 3, and I don't want her to leave work early to pick me up. I don't have anything else to do, so I can just wait until she's done with work.

She swats at the air to mean 'that's nothing' and I fight the urge to tell her to stay at work. "I'll be here at 3. I love you, let me know if you need anything."

She rolls up her window before I can say anything, so I turn around and enter the building. After checking in, they do another blood draw and take a handful of other vitals before I walk back into the room of armchairs. I don't get a welcome sign today, but there are cookies and juice again.

I sit in my chair and put on the hoodie I brought, throwing my blanket across my lap. I pull up my sleeve so they can put the IV in, and again, I can't look. I instead look to my left, just trying to find something else to focus on, and instantly regret it.

About six seats to my left — all of the ones in between are empty — is Macy. She's in a similar state, wearing a hoodie with sweatpants, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and headphones in her ears. She's staring straight at me with her eyes wide, probably in disbelief. There's no getting out of having a conversation with her. She's seen me and she knows I've seen her.

I turn to stare straight ahead, accidentally meeting the gaze of the old man sitting across from me. I end up squeezing my eyes shut so I don't have to look at anything while they insert the IV. When I feel the nurse put the tape over it, I reopen my eyes and pull my sleeve back down.

"Is it okay if I move a few seats down?" I meekly ask her.

A brief moment of confusion flashes in her eyes, but she nods. "Yes, of course, do you need help?"

"No, I'm fine."

I stand up, clutching my blanket around my shoulders, slinging my tote bag onto my arm, and wheel the IV with me while I walk toward Macy. She smiles at me when I'm next to her, sitting in the chair directly next to hers.

"Hi," she says quietly.

"Hi."

I then realize I have no idea how to start the conversation or what to say. It seems that both of us have withheld some information, but the pieces of Macy's story start to fit together.

She's visiting her parents, who happen to have an apartment near UCLA's hospital.

She's taking a gap year, indefinitely.

She wants to be a doctor.

Macy has cancer, and I bet she's had it for a long time. I bet her parents don't live in this part of LA normally, they just stay here when she's in treatment. That's why she said they sort of live in the building, because they aren't full-time residents.

Macy has cancer.

The facts sink in and then I get more and more questions. Is it bad? Terminal? Has she been in treatment for long? Has she had it her whole life?

"I have leukemia," I say, breaking our silence. I'm quiet, nearly inaudible, but I have no doubts that she heard me.

"I'm so sorry," Macy whispers back, sounding devastated. "I had no idea."

I chuckle. "Yeah, I'm not really advertising it." I look over at her and she's nodding.

"I totally get it," she admits. Her face is somber and wistful, so thoughtful and hard to really pin how she's feeling. "I've been in and out of treatment since I was five."

When I open my mouth to tell her that I'm sorry and ask what kind of cancer it is, she cuts me off.

"I've gotten tired of the instant pity I get when I tell people I have cancer, so I just don't really tell people," Macy explains. "Eventually I do. I just don't want people to only be nice to me because I'm sick. I want them to be nice to me because they like me."

"I like you."

I understand what she means. It's the same way that Calum feels: people are nice to him just to get closer to fame, a good connection, a few thousand followers. They aren't nice to him because they like him. Of course, it's different for Macy. People aren't being nice to her because they want something from her. They're nice because they feel bad.

"You're like the nicest person on the planet, that doesn't count."

"I'm an average level of nice."

Macy laughs. It's a genuine laugh, which is a nice sound for the current setting. "Sure, if that's what you want to believe, but I disagree. You're truly the kindest person I know."

I don't want to sit here and argue with Macy about my level of niceness and kindness, so I decide we should drop it at that.

"Calum likes you too," I add.

She scoffs and then giggles again. "I'm sure you had nothing to do with that."

"He likes you! I promise!"

"I'm not doubting that, but I have no doubt you put in a very good word for me," she says. "But also, I love getting to know both of you, so I'm not complaining."

"I'm really glad we ran into you in that elevator," I confess. "I'm glad you're in our lives."

"See? Nicest person I know."

I go to punch her in the arm but am reminded that I'm tethered to the IV and there's a tube that moves along with my arm. It pulls me back to our reality, and I think it does Macy, too.

"How long have you been in treatment?" Macy asks.

"Today is my second one. First was last Wednesday."

Macy does a sharp intake of breath. "You had your first treatment and were still able to go get coffee with me on Sunday?!"

I nod.

"Dude, everyone I've ever seen go through this stuff is completely knocked off their feet by the first round. You're tough as shit."

Her words warm my heart and I'm grateful that she is able to see something good out of this hardship. Some days I feel strong, but mostly, I feel weak. Too weak to live my own life. Too weak to tell Calum the truth. Practically too weak to take care of Duke.

"I can't believe you started treatment right as they left for tour. Calum didn't want to stay with you?"

There it is. The part of the conversation I don't want to have.

"Um... he, uh, he... I — I didn't tell him."

Macy is quiet while she processes what I told her. I can tell she's shocked, and based on what I know about her, she would've normally yelled or screamed something, but because we're in a hall of people getting treatment, she holds it in.

"You suddenly make a lot less sense to me, but I'm not even sure what else to ask, so we can leave that there if you don't wanna talk about it."

Now I'm surprised. She's just able to drop it?

"Uh, are you sure?"

She smiles tightly. "I trust that you have some very thought out reasons for making the choices you do."

"So you won't tell him?"

Macy shakes her head. "That's not my place."

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a/n: oooooo macy!! surprise!!! in the original of this story her name was callie and idk why i did that bc CAL and CALLIE is too much. they met on the oncology ward in the OG but i liked this idea better for some reason haha.

i know this is a cal fic and there's no cal in this chapter lol it's FiNE itS FOR The PLOT OKAY

that said i am working on a new chapter that has calum in it n it's a flashback hopefully coming to you in a few hours OK THX love u bye