#and obvs I did as requested after we got back to mine <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[snowjosh]

Hey!! Sorry this is weird probably but I was scrolling through notes on a post and I heard about that girl you went stargazing with in November and I just wanna ask how that went? Obvi no pressure to respond I just thought the way you talked about it was cute and was curious. :)

AAAH she is my girlfriend now!!!!!!!!!!! actually that night ended up being cloudy so i just made dinner for her instead and ended up staying the night at hers for the first time (so it became a ~23 hour date lmao). we put up her hammock and did a little stargazing later that week though!!!!

[leossmoonn]

Final Straw [Tristan Dugray]

masterlist

pairing - tristan dugray x fem!reader

type - fluff, angst

note / request - note / request - requested by @jimshandholder  “hi sara! congratulations for 2k!!! for the celebration can i request a tristan dugray fic where you both mutually pine for each other and then when he sees you with someone else he finally asks you out on a date? it can also be just short bc i know you'll do an amazing job at it!! ty and i love you <3” im sorry this took so long to write lmao 💀 anyways i hope you enjoy it!

summary - tristan finally asks you out after seeing you with someone else 

warnings / includes - mutual pining (obvs), mild language, flirting + playful touching, mild sexual tension, food consumption

————

*gif isn’t mine*

“mr. dugray, i think you would get a good grade on this test if you focused on your paper,” mr. medina stated.

you craned your head around to see tristan staring at you. you smiled as he was getting scolded by mr. medina. he shot you a wink with a cheeky smile, causing you to giggle.

mr. medina’s head shot back at you, giving you a stern glare.

“miss l/n, are you having issues keeping to yourself, too?” he asked.

“n-no, sir,” you stammered. before you turned back to your test, your eyes slid back to tristan.

he gave you a cheeky smile, making your heart beam. you turned around in your seat, a cheek-aching smile molded onto your face.

tristan approached you right after class, per usual, with a little black box in his hand.

“hey, angel.”

his voice caused a thrill to run up your spine. you turned around immediately, almost colliding into his chest.

“hey, tris,” you smiled up at him.

“hard test, huh?” he hummed as you two walked out of the classroom.

“it was pretty easy,” you shrugged. “really? i thought it was kind of hard,” he said.

“well, that’s because you didn’t study,” you nudged him with a smile.

“ouch,” he hissed playfully. “you know i’m right,” you smirked.

“you always are,” he smiled. “i got you something.”

you looked down at his hands, eyes widening. “another?”

“it’s a little different than a necklace.”

“what is it?” you asked.

he opened the box, causing your jaw to drop as you saw two diamond earrings.

“how much did this cost?” you asked, staring at the jewelry.

“not much,” he shrugged. you look up at him, raising a brow in suspicion.

“alright, it cost a little more than a hundred.”

“how much more?”

“like… two-hundred?” he guessed.

“tristan!” you gasped. “what?” he questioned, acting completely clueless.

“that is too much. i-i don’t deserve this. return it and get your money back, please,” you begged.

“oh, c’mon, we both know that is furthest from the truth. plus, i can tell how much you like it. you want to put them on right now, don’t you?” he smirked.

you sighed, finding it hard to contain your excitement. “i do, but i just feel —”

“nu-uh,” he shook his head. “you don’t get to feel anything but happiness, alright? here, try them on.”

you smiled, taking the earrings. “thank you. they are beautiful.”

not as beautiful as you, he thought. instead, he said, “glad you think so.”

you took one of the earrings out, finding your piercing and sticking the needle in. you did the same with the right earring, sliding the back in and giving tristan the box momentarily. you went to your locker, opening it and looking into the mirror you had taped inside the door.

“oh, they’re gorgeous,” you gushed.

“i’m glad you like them.”

you shut your locker, facing him. “i love them. thank you.” you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly against you.

he slipped his arms around you, his ears turning pink while his heart hammered against his chest. he was sure you could feel it. he stayed gripping your waist for as long as you allowed. as you pulled away, the warmth from each other disappeared. you wanted to go back to hugging him, but you were worried about his reaction. instead, you smiled at him.

“these will go perfectly with the sapphire necklace you bought me,” you stated, thinking about all the outfits and jewelry you could pair the earrings with.

“the earrings will look good with whatever you wear.”

you smiled shyly, heat fanning over your face. “thank you.”

“you are very welcome, angel.”

“i gotta get to class,” you sighed. “no, don’t go,” tristan whined.

“i have to. headmaster will kill me if i miss another class.”

“oh, whatever. your parents donate the most to this school. he won’t care,” tristan rolled his eyes.

“ah! don’t say that in front of everyone!” you hissed, looking at the students passing you.

“it’s not like it’s a secret,” he smirked. “anyways, are you gonna come with me or not?”

“where are you going?” you asked. “dunno. we can decide on somewhere together,” he shrugged.

“i’d love to, but not everyone has a free period. i’ll see you after school,” you said.

he sighed, “alright. have fun, angel.”

“you know i will,” you smiled, squeezing his bicep and walking away.

he turned around, watching your retreating figure walk to paris. he smiled as you were smiling, rolling your eyes and laughing at whatever mildly-rude thing paris said. he watched you until you went to class, admiring how the sun from the windows made your skin glow, the way you bounced on the balls of your feet, the smile you shot him right before turning the corner.

“he got you another gift?” rory gasped. “man, you are lucky. these must’ve cost like, a hundred.”

“he said two-hundred,” you said.

rory’s eyes blew wide. “he spent two hundred dollars on earrings for you?”

“y-yeah, i guess,” you stammered, heat creeping up your neck. “he’s just being nice.”

“y/n, you seriously cannot be that oblivious,” rory said.

“what?” you frowned. she rolled her eyes. “you are so blind.”

“i just don’t know what you’re talking about,” you shrugged. but oh, you did.

you knew what she insinuated, that tristan liked you. that his gifts were his way of showing his love for you, that he was in love with you. you refused to believe it. how could anyone as handsome as him love you? plus, he was always was flirting with louise and rory. he couldn’t be in love with you if he was charming other girls. or so you thought.

“so what are you in the mood for? horror or romance?”

“um, maybe horror,” you said. tristan furrowed his brows, putting away the DVD. “are you sure?”

“yeah, why?” you asked. “i just don’t want you to spend the whole movie with your face buried into my chest. not that i would mind,” he smirked.

you couldn’t help but smile. “we can watch something else, then. anything but romance.”

“but you love romance movies. what’s up?” he asked, leaning against the shelves.

you shrugged, “just not in the lovey-dovey mood.”

“o-kay,” tristan clicked his tongue, going back to looking at the DVD collection.

“are you in a romance movie mood?” you asked.

“i wouldn’t mind it,” he shrugged. “you would pick romance over comedy and sci-fi?” you asked in disbelief.

“if romance is what you want.”

“well, what do you want to watch?”

“whatever you want,” he grinned.

you rolled your eyes with a smile. “we will never get to our movie night!”

“well, stop being so indecisive!” he laughed. “me? you’re the one who is like “oh, i want this and that”, “whatever you want”,” you mocked him.

“well, fine. what about dracula?”

“ugh, that movie is so confusing,” you grimaced. “see? you don’t want to watch anything!” tristan groaned.

you giggled, “just waitin’ for you to pick, is all.”

“and i’m waiting for you to say yes,” he shrugged.

“you are so…” your voice trailed off as you saw jess mariano walk by.

tristan turned around to see who you were looking at, grimacing when he realized who it was. he turned back to you, grabbing one of your favorite movies off the shelves and shoving it in front of your face.

“this?” he asked.

you put your attention back on him, eyes focusing on the DVD.

“i don’t wanna watch that.”

“okay, where is y/n and what have you done with her?” he asked, shoving the DVD back in its place.

“she’s here, and um… she’s is going to be right back.” you pushed past tristan and went over to jess. 

tristan watched with hateful eyes as you conversed with jess. he hated the little crush you had on him, and he had only been there for two weeks and every girl in stars hollow was fawning over him. it was like he had a love potion he poisoned every girl with. tristan wished he had a love potion for you. maybe you would be talking to him instead of jess now.

“your boyfriend is mad,” jess pointed to tristan. 

“oh, he’s not my boyfriend… sadly,” you sighed.

“why don’t you just ask him out?” jess asked. “he doesn’t like me,” you answered. 

jess laughed, “yeah, right.”

“what?” you frowned. “no offense, but you are really dumb when it comes to these things,” jess remarked. 

“oh!” you slapped his arm. “you are so rude!” 

“that’s my middle name,” he gave you a small smile. “just go cup and ask him for coffee or something. everyone in this town is crazy for coffee.” 

“what if he says no?” you asked. “then you go home and cry for hours and hope that he forgets about it. i don’t know,” he shrugged. 

“you are so helpful,” you gave him a sour smile. “helpful is my middle name,” he winked. 

“whatever. i don’t even know why i came over here,” you muttered. 

“to make him jealous, right? well, it’s working.”

“really?” you hoped, glancing over your shoulder. 

you saw tristan angrily muttering to himself, shoving DVDs back into their place as soon as he pulled them out. 

“i better go before he punches me,” jess said. “he wouldn’t do that,” you rolled your eyes. 

“don’t doubt guys who are in love with girls who they feel like they can’t get.”

“and you know about that life so well?” you hummed. “don’t be stupid,” jess scoffed. 

“yeah, alright. i’ll talk to you later,” you said, patting his arm and making your way back to tristan.

“hey, tris,” you smiled.

“hi,” he sighed. “what’s the matter?” you frowned, playing dumb.

“nothing, i just can’t decide on a movie.”

“well, why don’t we watch big? you love tom hanks and so do i,” you suggested.

“yeah, sure,” he smiled. “great! so, what are we havin’ for dinner?” you asked.

“do you want snacks or real food?” he asked.

“real food,” you decided. “you can have me, then,” he smirked.

you giggled, the back of your neck heating up. you hit his arm playfully. “you tease.”

“tease is my middle name.”

“yeah, well, save those lines for some other girls who you like,” you said.

tristan looked at you with a small, knowing smile. if only you knew.

“i’d rather try them on you,” he stated. “oh? why?” you hummed.

“your reactions never fail to entertain me.”

“well, i’m glad i’m useful,” you snorted.

you went up to the front desk of the store, placing down the DVD.

“we’d like to rent this for one night, please.”

“alright,” the clerk rang it up. “it’ll be ten ninety-five. have it back by tomorrow at five or you’ll be fined each day you keep it.”

you nodded, already knowing the rules and regulations of renting a movie. you went to give him your credit card, but tristan stopped you.

“tris!” you hissed. “you paid for it last time,” he said.

“that’s because i picked it last time. i picked it this time, too.” you shoved his hand away, giving the clerk your card. tristan took your card out of his hand, practically throwing his card at the cashier.

“let me do something nice for you, angel.”

“you already do so much. look at what you bought me!” you pointed to the earrings.

“so? you can’t put a price on lo… great friendship,” tristan laughed awkwardly.

your heart sunk. you stepped back, letting him pay for the movie while your mind ran wild, imagining what it would be like if you two were together and he was able to say that word.

“ready to go?” tristan asked. “yep,” you nodded.

you two walked back to your house in silence. as soon as you got home, the phone started to ring. you told tristan to order pizza while you took care of the phone.

“hello?” you answered. “hey! are you and tristan still doing movie night?” rory asked.

“yeah,” you sighed. “do you mind if dean and i come over?” she asked.

“um, i don’t see why not,” you said.

“great! dean wanted to watch a movie tonight, and i figured we could join you.”

“no, yeah, the more the merrier.”

“is it okay if lane comes, too? i think she’s gonna bring a date, too.”

“oh?” you perked up. “how is she gonna hide that from her mom?”

“well, he’s just gonna meet us at your place.”

“ah, alright. well, we’re starting the movie in about thirty minutes, so hurry. if you’re late, we won’t start over the movie.”

“noted,” rory giggled. “see you soon!”

“see you,” you hung up the phone.

“who is joining us?” tristan asked.

“dean, rory, lane and another guy.”

“another guy?” tristan asked. “yeah, he’s with lane,” you nodded.

“what’s his name?”

“i dunno,” you shrugged.

“how long has she known him for?”

“i don’t know. why are you being so nosy?” you laughed.

“just asking regular questions. i don’t know the guy,” he shrugged.

“well, i don’t either. just stay calm. i bet he’s fine,” you said.

“he might be a serial killer, you never know,” tristan remarked. 

“oh, shush,” you swatted his arm. “just tryna keep you safe, angel,” he shrugged. 

“i can take care of myself, thanks,” you said. “don’t pretend you don’t like the extra help,” tristan said. 

“i do. especially when it’s from you,” you smiled sheepishly. 

“thought so,” he smirked. 

you two got settled after the pizza arrived. your friends arrived just shortly after, letting themselves in. you got up off the couch, hugging everyone but the stranger in the room. you looked him up and down. he was cute, to say the least. 

“y/n, this is brandon. brandon, this is my best friend, y/n. she’s single,” lane nudged the boy.

you laughed awkwardly, shooting lane a glare. you looked back at brandon, holding your hand out. “hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

“you, too. lane was right, you are pretty,” he shook your hand, eyes running up and down your frame. 

“oh, well, you sound surprised.” you cocked your head to the side, giving him a questioning look. 

“i-i… i didn’t mean it like that. just from what they told me, i thought you were going to be…”

“i’m just kidding. kind of,” you smirked, pulling your hand away. 

brandon laughed loudly, pointing at you nervously. “you are funny. they-they said you were funny.” 

you looked behind your shoulder, giving tristan the same look he was giving you. a who is this guy look.

“well, go ahead and sit down. i hope you like tom hanks and pizza,” you gestured to the seat next to the couch. 

“my two favorite things,” he nodded, sitting down. 

you went to sit by tristan, but lane and rory stopped you. 

“why don’t you sit by brandon,” rory suggested. “that seat only sits one,” you said. 

“tristan, can you move?” lane asked. “why? this is my spot,” tristan asked. 

“and it’ll be there after tonight. just sit where brandon is sitting.” lane grabbed his arm, forcing him up. 

“what! lane!” tristan exclaimed. “you’ll survive,” rory smiled. 

“brandon, why don’t you sit by y/n,” rory turned to him. 

“o-oh, you sure?” brandon asked. “yep,” rory nodded.

brandon got up, sitting next to you, leaving lots of space in-between. 

“looks like we got front row seats,” he commented. “best in the house,” you agreed. 

rory and dean joined you two on the couch, rory sitting next to you and dean sitting on the end. lane sat in the chair on the other side of the couch across from tristan. you gave tristan a sorry look, but he brushed it off, giving you an understanding smile. he knew this wasn’t your doing, he just hoped you wouldn’t fall into rory and lane’s trap. 

“have you seen this before?” brandon asked you. 

“yeah,” you nodded. “how many times?” he asked. “a couple,” you answered quickly, trying to watch the movie. 

brandon glanced at you, sucking in a breath. he was nervous, to say the least.

he had only just met dean a few weeks ago, allowing him to meet rory and lane and quickly become friends with them. he had been anticipating meeting you for a week now. rory and lane talked non-stop about setting the two of you up. they talked about how excited you would be to meet him, how you would like him in an instant. how wrong they were, though.

he could tell you were intrigued, but it was no secret your heart was with tristan. from the first time he walked in and saw you and tristan sitting together, he knew that you two were a thing, even if it wasn’t official yet. 

now, that didn’t mean brandon could talk you up. he knew that the only reason why you would talk to him would be to make him jealous. so why not have a little fun? 

“so, how did you meet lane and rory?” you asked. “through dean,” brandon answered. 

“were you two friends before or?” 

“no. we met at school.” 

“ah, i see. you’re new here then?”

“yep.” 

“how do you like stars hollow?”

“it’s good. it’s a lot different than new york,” he answered. “the people are crazy  here, aren’t they?” you grinned. 

he looked at you, debating on whether to agree with you. “u-um, yeah, i mean they’re nice, but a little… forthcoming.”

“i agree,” you said. “but you get used to them. and eventually, you become one of them.” “you seem different, though,” he stated. you glanced at him, smiling a little. “well, i’m young. i have a lot of years to fulfill the role.” 

“well, i think you should stay the way you are now.”

“why would you say that? you know nothing about me.”

“doesn’t take much to know about a person,” he shrugged. “oh, yeah? well, tell me, what do you know about me?” you asked. 

“well, you love pizza and tom hanks.” 

you laughed quietly, “i don’t know how you figured that out.”

he smiled. “you look like someone who values looks and all those material things, and you do, but you don’t. you like the simple things like drive-in movies, dancing in the car and shouting music with friends, reading near lakes and looking at the stars.”

you looked at him with a blank stare at first. then, slowly, your brows furrowed and your mouth opened up into a bright grin. 

“that is so cliché and so not true,” you said. 

“oh, well, i tried,” he shrugged. “well, i do like dancing in the car with my friends and looking at the stars. so, maybe you do some about me,” you admitted. 

“do i get brownie points then?”

“maybe a few,” you nodded. “great. any idea on how i can earn more?” he asked. 

“shut up and watch the movie,” you said. 

“alright. deal,” he nodded, turning his attention back to the movie. 

you watched the movie with a smile, you and brandon stealing glances every so often. tristan watched you both in pain and anger. he never once took his eyes off of you once brandon sat next to you. how could he? brandon was stealing his girl. 

you finally stopped paying attention to brandon and put your attention back onto tristan. as soon as you looked at him, he looked away from you, acting as though he hadn’t been planning brandon’s death from the moment he walked into the door.

you wished tristan was glaring at brandon, trying to get your attention. you wished tristan would’ve fought harder to keep his seat. you enjoyed sitting next to brandon. he was good company, but he wasn’t like tristan. no guy could be like tristan. 

so, in hopes to make him jealous, you continued to talk to brandon. 

“do you have a girlfriend?” you whispered. “would i be here if i did?” brandon asked. 

you chuckled, “good answer. have you watched this movie before?”

“when i was younger,” he nodded. “did you like it?” you asked. 

“oh, yeah. i mean, the concept is weird, but it’s really well directed. i really do like tom hanks.”

“he’s an amazing director and actor. not to mention, he’s really cute,” you smirked. 

“ah, so that’s your type?” 

“i don’t really have a type, per se. i just like who i like,” you shrugged. 

“am i your type?” brandon asked. 

you looked at him, your eyes wavering down to his lips and back up to his eyes. 

“i don’t know. wanna find out?” you asked, leaning in slightly. your eyes glanced over to tristan. you made full eye contact as you continued to lean in. before you were about to kiss brandon, tristan stormed out of his seat and stomped to the bathroom. 

you pulled away from brandon immediately, jumping up to find tristan, but brandon stopped you. 

“here, let me,” he said. 

“you don’t know him, he might —”  “i’ve been in his lace before. don’t worry, i’ll be fine,” brandon smiled at you.

you watched helplessly as brandon tried to get tristan to open the door. you slumped down on the couch, earning a glare from rory. 

“why did you do that?” rory asked. “do what!” you exclaimed. 

rory grabbed the remote, pausing the movie. “you are playing with both of them.”

“oh, please, it’s not my fault brandon sat next to me. it’s not my fault that he’s in to me,” you scoffed. 

“it is your fault that you just hurt tristan.”

“he doesn’t care.” 

“he does!”

“he just doesn’t like guys being close to me. it’s funny to get him riled up. he does the same to me!” you argued. 

“not since he started buying you jewelry.”

“what does that mean?” you asked. “god, you are so… ugh!” rory groaned.

“okay, calm down,” dean took rory’s hand, leaning her back into his chest. 

he looked at you. “y/n, tristan likes you and you hurt him.”

“if he liked me then he would’ve asked me out ages ago.”

“usually, yes, but you have no idea about the games you play. always acting so sweet, but you are so devious at the same time. you’re killin’ him!” “oh, yeah? and how do you know that?” you shouted. 

“because he told me! and it is so painful obvious. you are just scared to think it’s true!” “well, can you blame me! he’s the guy of my dreams and if i make the first move and it turns out he doesn’t like me, then your whole friendship is ruined.”

“so you’d rather play dumb and flirt with him 24/7 rather than take a chance have the real thing?” 

“if it means i can keep him forever, then yes,” you nodded. 

dean sighed, “girls are confusing.” 

“hey, it’s his fault, too! if he just told me how he felt —” 

“he has been! with the gifts, paying for stuff, taking you out. for someone who is his best friend, you sure don’t know much about him.” 

“when did you two get so close?” you spat. 

“doesn’t matter! you know i’m right. everyone in this knows i’m right, why can’t you just admit it?” dean asked. 

“because if i do then i admit to being a horrible person and stringing my best friend along just because i was afraid,” you huffed. 

“you’re not a horrible person, y/n,” lane said. 

you turned to her, tears glistening in your eyes. “r-really?”

“yeah,” she smiled softly. “tristan is in love with you. he always will be, no matter what. one day, though, he might get tired of waiting. it’s up to you to make the first move.” 

you nodded, agreeing with her. you sniffled, wiping your tears away as you got up. “yeah. yeah, you’re right. i-i’m gonna ask him out.” 

“wait, wait. just wait for him to calm down,” rory said. “why?” you asked. 

“you know how hot-headed tristan can be,” rory explained. “yeah,” you nodded. 

you sat back down. “wanna keep watching the movie then?”

“sure,” rory nodded. 

you resumed the movie, waiting anxiously for tristan to come back. 

“look man, i didn’t mean to cause any harm, but you weren’t doing anything so i —” 

“so you decided to flirt with her when you knew i liked her. and by the way, how did you even know?” tristan asked. 

“it’s pretty obvious,” brandon smirked. “then why can’t she see that?” tristan asked helplessly. 

“i don’t know, but you need to make your move. you know, if you don’t ask her out, i will.” 

“she doesn’t even like you,” tristan glared. he shrugged, “she likes me enough.”

tristan rolled his eyes. “yeah, we’ll see about that.” he opened the bathroom door, walking over to the couch. he tapped your shoulder and you got up immediately.

“hey,” you whispered, walking with him into the kitchen. “are you, um, okay?” “yeah. sorry about that,” tristan chuckled. “oh, no worries. it was my fault,” you chuckled. 

“i have to ask you something,” he said. “i have to ask you something, too,” you said. 

“well, you go first,” he suggested. “no, no, you go ahead. you brought it up first,” you shook your head. 

“a-alright. well, i… i was wondering i-if you wanted to.. man, um, sorry. i’m really nervous, i —” 

“hey, y/n,” brandon said behind you. you turned around, giving him a polite smile. “hey, brandon. i’m kind of in the middle of something here. if you don’t mind —” 

“oh, this’ll only take a second. i was wondering if you wanted to go the dinner with me sometime. just us two, none of our friends around. you can wear anything you want, i know you’ll look pretty in anything,” he asked. 

your jaw dropped. “u-um. brandon, that’s really nice of you to ask. i-i —” 

“screw this,” tristan muttered. he pulled your back by your forearm, spinning your around and pressing his lips onto yours. 

“oh!” you gasped, your eyes immediately fluttering closed. your wrapped your arms around his neck at once, standing on your tip-toes to deepen the kiss. 

dean walked up to brandon, clapping his shoulder. 

“did you think she was gonna say yes?” dean asked. “nah,” brandon shook his head. 

“why did you ask?”

“because otherwise tristan would’ve still been blabbering.”

dean chuckled, “you are genius.”

brandon smirked. “i know.” he turned around, looking at lane. “is lane single?”

“i think so,” dean nodded. “do you like her?”

“i do, actually. think she’ll give me a chance?”

“let’s go and see,” dean smirked, walking brandon back to the living room. 

you pulled away from tristan, panting heavily. you looked him in the eyes, a big smile taking over your features. 

“what’d you do that for?” you asked. “just felt like it. say, why don’t you and me ditch this movie night and go to dinner?” he suggested. 

“i’m not hungry,” you stated. “just go out with me and say yes, please?” he begged. 

you giggled, leaning in so there was no space between you two. “of course i’ll go out with you.” 

————

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[bitchiha]

may i request kiba nsfw headcanons and kakashi smut also ily lizzie mwah :33

Kiba NSFW HC’s

A/N: ily too anon!! So this is obv the Kiba NSFW and I’m currently working on a Kakashi smut. Also I combined this request with another one which was asking for Kiba w a biting / marking kink and I think that’s pretty spot on for him so I’ll just add that here as well!

I DID NOT PROOFREAD SO IM SORRY IF THERE IS ERRORS I JUST NEED TO POST SOMETHING LOL

Okay first things first, Kiba does not know how to be gentle.. like this fucker will really try okay, like he’ll try and kiss you softly, but it just gets him all flustered and before you know it your lips are bruised again. Same thing with sex like omfg he tries to make it savoury but his instincts just kick in and now you’re all bruised on the inside. He feels so bad afterwards, but you kind of like it and he can’t help it.

He’s a possessive little shit sometimes too. Like one time when you came home you smelled like Naruto and it got Kiba so pissed off lol. He’s like, “where’ve you been?” And you tell him you went to get ramen with Naruto and he’s being too pissy about it, which just leads to him fucking Narutos scent off of you and a shir ton of hickeys. That drive just makes his thrusts 10 times more aggressive and like you’re so worn out after because like I said, he cannot be gentle with regular sex so imagine just imagine the jealous sex..

Because he’s so possessive he always leaves marks on you. Like if you’re not marked up after a good fucking is that really Kiba laying next to you?

His favourite spot to leave marks is on your thighs. Likes when you wear skirts and you move your legs a certain direction, accidentally letting a few hickeys peek out. He gets a kick out of watching your flustered face as you desperately try and cover them.

When he’s eating you out, leading up to it he does a real good number on your thighs. They’re so soft and squishy and he’s biting them and sucking and licking and just he loses track of time, but your whimpers always snap him out of it. Then he gets down to business. He does the same thing with your tits and sometimes you have to claw at him to stop because it’s way too stimulating. He can’t be gentle so he’s sucking and biting down on your nipples like there is no tomorrow. PLUS!! He’s really good at massages so if your tits are sore afterwards he’ll make sure to rub them real nice for you.

Also like.. after he’s already did a number on your chest and you’re going at it again (like literally the next day because Kibas libido is >>>>) wear a lacey bra. His head will explode. He will go feral. Like He goes to lift your shirt off your head and then he has to pause at the sight of your tits because wow. They’re covered by this really fucking hot lacey white bra and hes drooling over how it contrasts with the purple and red marks he left all over you.. yah he’s a goner <3

As much as Kiba loves lingère on you, you don’t wear it for him very often. This is strictly because he always ruins the pieces. Once you wore this really cute matching set of a purple bra and panties and kiba ribbed the panties off you. Like straight up ripped them off you. In the moment you didn’t care because right after he ripped them off his dick was fucking you senseless, but the next morning you were pissed. He even managed to shred up the back of your bra. Like he just got irritated with the clasp and scratched it off you.

He doesn’t think it’s a big deal, lingère is hot and it’s meant to be ripped off you, right? Plus you can always buy a new set.. but when you show him the price tag after you’ve dug it out of the garbage his eyes pop out of his head. Who knew that small amount of fabric could cost so much??

Jealous sex is always the best. He just gets so worked up and he can go on for hours. If you piss him off enough he’ll be into orgasm denial, but for the most part he’s trying to show you how much better he is than whoever you tried to provoke him with, so he’ll try and make you cum as much as possible.

Anyway, I think Kibas loud in bed. I mean like I think he’s just the type to not care how loud he is?? Like he’s just horny and the only thing he’s thinking about is you. He wants to make sure that you’re loud too though. Don’t hold them back girl, let him hear it. Or don’t and he’ll try like 100 times harder to make you moan.

He groans a lot, but he also says dirty shit too and like I don’t think he even cares how dirty it is. Also he has a thing for claiming too, so expect a lot of talk with regards to that. “Taking by dick so well baby, so eager for me to claim you?” “You’re all mine.”

Uhm tbh I think you could just lay down forever and let Kiba just go at it.. like he just has so much energy that he doesn’t mind expelling it onto you. Of course he wouldn’t mind if you returned the favour every so often. Like don’t get me wrong he loves getting his dick sucked. More than most boys do.. and he also likes if you want to ride him too. Riding him is the best treat ever, bonus if you wanna dig your nails into his shoulders or chest. But for the most part he doesn’t mind doing majority of the work. He likes going down on you or just treating you because he gets so excited at the noises you make.

Kibas an ass and tits man. You cannot and will not change my mind. He likes cumming on them too LMFAOO. Like ok he likes cumming in you a lot — he has a breeding kink, but if you’re not into it or he’s not in the mood he’ll just let his load off on your tits. It doesn’t matter if he’s hitting from the back because he’ll just flip you over and finish himself off. Your ass works too though. You’ll scold him for doing it sometimes because he likes to make sure it’s all over your tits or your ass, but he’ll just shrug at your scolding and give you a smirk.

Okay back to the breeding kink omg.. let me collect myself for a second here.. Kiba is a dirty talker okay, but when he’s really getting into his breeding kink his dirty talk turns kinda soft?? “Look how pretty you are all filled up.” “You’re so gorgeous like this, so ready to have my kids.” I mean.. That’s pretty fucking nice man, I feel like he may also manage to be a tad bit gentle when he’s getting into the whole breeding thing, just because the idea of you having his kids makes him soft, but it just depends on his mood tbh. Sometimes he just flips a switch and just goes for hours like he’s on some next feral bullshit and other times he takes it a little slower.

I don’t think this really makes sense and I don’t really have much to go off of to prove this point but.. I think he’d be good at aftercare? Like he would always have to shower you in complinments after, please give him some too, “that was great babe, you did really good, so good.” Then he’ll help you clean up. He ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS, gets you a glass of water after sex. Probably drinks it halfway back to the bedroom and has to go and fill it up again, but the effort is what counts.

Uhm aftercare got me thinking of showers and now I think that he would also like shower sex. It’s kinda like what I said about kakashi in my NSFW headcanons for him, but I think Kiba would want to do it with you anywhere in your apartment: in the shower, on the bathroom sink, on the dinner table (WITH the dinner on it), on the coffee table, the couch... and do I really need to continue this? I think you all get it. It just ties into his claiming thing.

So when your friends are over and you’re eating snacks on the couch with pizza on the coffee table, it kinda makes him smirk because he’s like.. we did it on that coffee table lol

Also when either of you come home from mission, expect Kiba is gonna wanna fuck immediately. Like he’s not even halfway through the door but he’s taking his shirt off and telling you to do the same.

OKAY BUT HIS ORGASM FACE —

Ugh. Magnificent. Exquisite. Delectable. Like if he’s laying down, his head is titling back on the pillows, if he’s ontop his head is tilting down and all his fair falls in his face. He definitely squeezes his eyes shut and makes a little hissing sound, plus, he curses after. “Fuck, yeah right th-there.” “Shit, b-babe, I’m cumming.” Yes I believe he stutters when he cums. Don’t try me <3 AND ITS CUTE TOO. Okay also his mouth will fall open a little and it’s super hot because you can see his little canines peeking out.

This man

This man...

I am whore knee for this man.

[deeeelightfuldee]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [So, the night before this friendmas, which is probably the next day from the nativity moment, like this is the first day of the holiday vibe] Janis: We're still on for their friendmas bullshit? Jimmy: can't 😭 off Janis: It's still worth it Janis: for the amount of damage that can be done in one sitting Jimmy: it were my 🥇💡 don't need telling Janis: Checking you were still up for it Janis: and we have to make the food to bring Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Helpful as that is, what do you want to make and where do you want to make it? Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: my grandparents Jimmy: nearer yours or mine? Janis: yours Janis: mine is near nothing Jimmy: come here then Janis: alright Janis: just trying to think of ways to sneak calories into shit without pouring butter onto a salad Jimmy: look up thanksgiving recipes, they're known for that bollocks Janis: okay Janis: and you'll be...? Jimmy: cleaning my kitchen, that alright with you? Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: My sister thinks Mia might invite her boyfriend Jimmy: 💰 on him not showing up Janis: What I said Janis: in case he does though Janis: she was useless with any other info Jimmy: 💔 her and this group chat Jimmy: not actually that bothered what Asia might wear Janis: 🙄 Janis: how much freedom is there with a fucking jumper Janis: she said they don't eat fuck all sustaining but no shit there, hence the plan Jimmy: [sends her a pic I saw of a real jumper that has the tit cut out and like a red reindeer nose over the person's nip or something I can't remember] Janis: Oh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: distract from the teeth but nah Jimmy: Dunno who's got her for the 🎁 giving but 🤞 for invisalign Janis: budget kit that ain't dentist-approved I saw on insta Janis: 🤞 it'll fuck her up harder Jimmy: all teeth to no teeth Janis: fit in with 💀👑 and ��#2 Jimmy: mash 🥔 or 🍠 it is Janis: 🍠 is too vom-inducing as is Janis: hide 💊s in it like 👶🐶 Jimmy: is that marshmallow thing bollocks or what? Janis: nah, that's legit Janis: we could do that Janis: cultural Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: you can cover everyone's plates in gravy Janis: not a euphemism Janis: #northern Jimmy: I'd have a job if you were expecting the euphemism Janis: you're alright Janis: amusing, but suspicious when I'm not touching my plate Jimmy: very trusting of you to crack on with any of it as is Janis: I doubt they're wasting laxatives on me Janis: skinny enough Janis: it'll just be gross Jimmy: weren't where my 🧠 went but alright Janis: ? Janis: oh, very Agatha Christie Janis: not gonna kill themselves to kill me, I'll watch the plates and serving up Jimmy: nowt rich lasses won't monogram, theirs'll be safe and sound Janis: what about yours? Janis: you might get roofied Jimmy: take my chances downing the gravy, too northern for owt else, you said it Janis: that'll be nice Jimmy: 😍 obvs Janis: I meant for me when I inevitably have to 💋 you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: it's at #2s Janis: odds on a 👑 shrine somewhere? Jimmy: near her 🛏 Janis: under it when she's about Janis: in it when she ain't 💔 Jimmy: we don't have to sleep there in a bit, do we? Janis: oh bollocks Janis: I'm sure we can get out of it, as we technically were not invited Janis: pretty sure they do a sleepover too though Janis: any excuse Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I know Jimmy: I'm going down the shop, what bollocks do we need? Janis: [a list I'm not committing you to but we know the vibe] Janis: I've already got [shit we're stealing soz mcvickers] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: if you get here before I'm back, my sister'll let you in Janis: did she come to the nativity with yous? Jimmy: dragged kicking and marding, weren't that what I said? Janis: right Janis: apologies for doubting you Jimmy: tah Janis: what about the kid? Jimmy: what about him? Janis: where'd he end up on the scale Jimmy: we don't have a scale for him Janis: 😭 to 😁 Jimmy: near ☹️ Janis: no tears, at least Jimmy: can sign what we like without being those dickheads shouting out 🦻 perks Janis: that is useful Jimmy: and the 🐕's got somewhere new to sleep an' all Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: totally worth the money we didn't spend then Janis: can have these jumpers too after Jimmy: ain't yours itchy? Janis: feels like I'm wearing a barbershop floor Janis: but I didn't reckon your dog would be that fussy Jimmy: meant to be your specialist subject Janis: like ☕ is yours? Janis: not my passion, it's easy money Jimmy: there ain't much to know about ☕ don't need passion Janis: 🤫 Janis: you 💘 every bean Jimmy: it's only 💕 for your sister and her mates Janis: anything but getting a personality Janis: I know Jimmy: gotta put something in their bio Janis: 'IM AN EMPTY VESSEL' comes off desperate, even on tinder Jimmy: as 🤰 pact's go Janis: don't even Jimmy: very festive Janis: messiahs aren't being popped out 5 at a time Jimmy: they'd never be satisfied with 3 🎁s any road Jimmy: full baby shower or nowt Janis: yeah Janis: no doubt Grace will be torturing me with as much any time soon Jimmy: 🍾🍾🍾 Janis: 🔨🔨🔨 Jimmy: 👶👶👶👶👶 Janis: have to smash the poor bastards and all Janis: not worth thinking about Jimmy: ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ Janis: yeah funerals are much better craic Janis: have as many of them as she likes Jimmy: matching the shades of black'll do her head in Janis: 🤞 Janis: the breakdown will give her a personality Janis: got there in the end, babes Jimmy: @ me Jimmy: be on the edge of my seat waiting to find out Janis: if your details don't get lost when you change back to your real identity Jimmy: 💔 I can't be @ing you on the off chance, be coming off as desperate an' all, me Janis: doubt she'll be so bombastic herself she'll turn down a DM request Janis: have a go, like Janis: dare to 💭 Jimmy: just pop in using my 👻 form, can't I? Jimmy: keep it between us Janis: my lips are sealed Janis: how you use your afterlife is your business Jimmy: got nowt else on Janis: optimistic Janis: you might be moving to 🥳 central Jimmy: Go on, where's that? Janis: Ian in the know, not me Jimmy: dare to 💭 Janet Janis: I don't care where I end up Janis: just not here is fine Jimmy: weren't talking about you, big head Janis: Not too fussed where you end up either Janis: not gonna lie Jimmy: What did you bring it up for then? Janis: You're moving Janis: you said Jimmy: and? Jimmy: 🥳 central were what you said, not me Janis: I don't know what you're getting at Jimmy: if you're not bothered, what are you getting at? Jimmy: no need to 🗨 bollocks were something else you said Janis: I was just messing about, both statements Janis: I didn't know everything I 🗨 had to be deadly serious Jimmy: I didn't know there were 1 rule for you and another for me Janis: it's a bit different from you calling me a slag but fine Janis: you've made your point Jimmy: nah, the point were that I were never calling you a slag Janis: you were joking, okay Jimmy: but go on and take it to your ⚰ Janis: I'm trying to have a normal conversation with you right now and you're the one being moody Jimmy: you're the one who said we don't need to have a conversation Janis: well we clearly do when we have shit to do Jimmy: we've sorted the 🍽 Janis: right, so tell me to piss off then Jimmy: and have to piss about cooking on my own? You're alright Jimmy: nowt like the threat of a good time, that Janis: then what Jimmy: then come here Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [this won't be awkward at all] Janis: [the tension and the kids are home so that'll not be remotely getting dealt with] Jimmy: [cos I'm evil like that hahaha, we're gonna both be so extra at friendmas, love it] Janis: [it also makes sense like if school is out now where you gonna be hens, truly idk what you're gonna say though girl] Jimmy: [like you could've hooked up on the trampoline but you would probably freeze to death and also Twix wouldn't allow it soz lads] Janis: [not on my watch Twix says, at least you can focus on making this side dish the weirdest most calorific moment] Jimmy: [having fun in spite of yourselves as per] Janis: [I want you to apologize but also not but that is difficile hmm, probably later if you get vaguely tipsy at this event] Jimmy: [and get swept away by the emoshness of fake gifting] Janis: [we know there will be plenty of time for moments abound then] Jimmy: [you'll be bored rigid otherwise] Janis: [mhmm and this is far from over hunnies] Jimmy: [whatever you do don't let Twix eat that while you're shamelessly distracted acting like it's all nbd] Janis: [or the kids lmao lowkey gotta hide this monstrosity when you're done] Jimmy: [hide it when you go 🚬 boy because we're stressed by the fact that whenever we try to have fun rn we then remember she said it was a mistake] Janis: [oh this misunderstanding, 'cos we only said it 'cos we thought that's what he was saying basically, lordy, also hate being left in his house like excuse me do I go now or] Jimmy: [what a time to wish you weren't alive] Janis: [coming out 'cos fuck just waiting or leaving, 'is there anything else we need to do?'] Jimmy: [automatically passes her a  🚬 because that bitch] Janis: [takes it like true, can't hurt] Jimmy: ['what time's the last bus?' cos he's assuming she's going home and that she's probably missed it] Janis: [shakes head 'I'll stay at my grandparents, no need to go home now'] Jimmy: [a look around like alright where's that because the ankle is still a thing and we're still worried about it] Janis: [a genuine oh-you kinda smile 'cos honestly 'literally a couple of streets from here, actually] Jimmy: [nods like okay, we'll go when you're ready cos obvs he's walking her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't need an early night for friendmas, do we' like excuse you, I might have plans] Jimmy: [shrugs 'bit of a ball ache to get the chains of the bed and bring 'em with'] Janis: [😏'you could have a night off'] Jimmy: [makes a point of putting her leg on him to rest and elevate that ankle like no I cannot] Janis: [just looks at it and sighs 'I can't not walk, there's shit to do'] Jimmy: [just looks at her and you know they haven't made eye contact this whole time SO THERE'S THAT 'I know it hurts' in a soft way] Janis: [we gotta look away 'cos byeeeeee, shrugging and mumbling like 'it was just a stupid accident, I'm fine'] Jimmy: [nudging her, not hard obvs like 1. look at me and 2. don't be shrugging at me rn and shaking his head 'a stupid accident that were my fault' like LET ME HELP YOU!!] Janis: [shaking her head for all the reasons and then blurting out 'I'm embarrassed!' then being even more so like ffs] Jimmy: [cupping her little face in his hands the gentlest EVER 'what for?' because she literally has nothing to be embarrassed about] Janis: [looking at him like where do I start lol 'cos this has been so fast and so messy, not to mention the fact you now wanna kiss him and that's one of the things you think you need to be embarrassed over 'I don't need help, that's not- I'm not used to that'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' spoken like it'll be true if he just says it soft and with enough feeling, but then obvs we gotta recover ourselves a bit because vulnerability who is she 'I only were offering to take all them dogs out for a piss for you, not a kidney' but we're still not giving it full pisstake in how we're saying that or being] Janis: [pushing him but gently too, because likewise trying to get back to this more pisstakey energy without going too hard too fast 'not my fault you're like top nurse without even trying then' 'cos you're doing and have done way more than that, we know boy] Jimmy: [lowkey 😳 but we're hiding it with 😏 and the wintery darkness as we nudge her back but turn it into a feelsy lean for a while then giving her his phone like put that dog walking schedule in there girl I mean it] Janis: ['I ain't gonna be able to take your CG shifts, like' and mimes murdering all the customers in various ways but we do lean back too, even if momentarily 'you could meet me for the ones you can and do the hard work, and I'll sit on the bench, yeah?' and puts hand out like deal?] Jimmy: [does a 💔 mime because we would love to see that murder spree but obvs shaking on that legit suggestion with a legit little smile cos we're chuffed she's actually accepting a hand in any way] Janis: ['I can do more hard work with the plan' like all the socials whilst I sit there honey and mimes taking creep shots of him] Jimmy: [OTT 😍 to hide the realness, then he remembers that speaking of, he obvs won't have done a doodle for her today so gesture for her to stay put while we run and get a pen and paper right now immediately but as we're going we turn back like oh! again 'do you want the bag  peas chucked back for a bit?'] Janis: [going to shake our head automatically but then checking ourself like oop 'might freeze to my skin out here, like' shrugs 'but go ahead'] Jimmy: [does bring a blanket with all the other shit because we just wanna be out here away from kids and dogs soz] Janis: [day #1 of this hol and we're done lmao, little kids do be feral when it's this close to xmas, even good ones like bobby] Jimmy: [yeah and don't even start me on how all the pressure for having a good christmas is on him because Ian isn't that bitch and Cass is highkey hoping their mum will appear even though they've moved and that ain't happening babe soz] Janis: [mHMM thank god Ian is a buy your love type so he will get them presents, it's just the rest] Jimmy: [what are you doodling today boy, obvs some kind of domestic af cooking moment but no #spoilers gals] Janis: [just get snuggled in these blankets and make sure he is too] Jimmy: [can't and won't stop the happy sigh because we've been so stressed] Janis: [some joke about art being his 💘 but we're glad obvs] Jimmy: [🙄 but 😏] Janis: [tryna peep at what he is drawing though, obvs x2] Jimmy: [will playfully get you with this pen like oi] Janis: [offended like where's my pen 'play fair' accidentally saucy] Jimmy: [we know he'll give you that pen and just write on you/tickle you in his fave manner, drawing a 🏆 like we're playing to win not fairly hen] Janis: [just loling like get off 'cos ticklish af 'we're meant to be a team, dickhead' and draws her own 🏆 with 'worst sport' in the plaque thing] Jimmy: [draws the JJ 💘 really big and deliberate to really tickle and also make a point like okay] Janis: [a question mark when we've stopped squirming like do you really get it though, also a throwback] Jimmy: [a LOOK like do you] Janis: [just nods and gives the pen back like okay, finish your drawing] Jimmy: [does and again signs it like a big nerd before giving it to her] Janis: [we love it hun but we never know what to say 'tah for not giving away the poison plot in your art like an idiot' and putting it away to photo later in an indoor light moment] Jimmy: [a noise like not an amateur tah and going to make tea because 1.northern 2. it's cold 3. he doesn't know what to say/is awks about his art too] Janis: you're in the wrong profession Jimmy: ? Janis: 1. artiste 2. only old ladies order pots of tea, yeah? Jimmy: 1. why be starving when there's loads of 🍪🥐🥪🍰 going at the job I've got 2. bit sexist to the 👴 Janis: 1. 🐷 2. tell me they ain't always with their 👵 Jimmy: 1. Only 💕🐕's you, I get it 💔🦝🗑 2. sounds fake, so obvs I'll 🗨 it to you, mate Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: miss you an' all Janis: You could see me from there if you really wanted Jimmy: [peeps from the kitchen window like hey] Janis: [waving like oh hey you fool] Jimmy: [signs something feelsy because she won't understand it we're safe] Janis: [big ? in the air} Jimmy: [just loling like nope as we mime confusion like idk what you mean or want rn soz because we're taking that to our grave] Janis: [shouting 'bring me my fucking tea' manners and decorum] Jimmy: [does and a box of some kind of festive biscuit selection that the children have already got at so there's only shit ones left lowkey but still] Janis: ['you know how to treat a girl' when we're saying it like we're joking but not really lmao] Jimmy: [shove a biscuit in your mouth boy so you don't say anything you wish you hadn't and also because we're making a bants point like yeah so romantic me] Janis: [wipe the crumbs from his bottom lip like he did 'oi, I've had an idea' softer than that oi suggests, we're not shouting now lol] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her lips once she's touched his like is that your idea, focus please sir 'go on'] Janis: [failing to pretend we didn't notice that but still carry on tah 'well #2 and every fucker on her street is gonna have excessive lights and decorations about, what do you reckon to shrinking their energy bill? if we go out when they're asleep, they'll not notice, and we could get back here and do your house before your brother and sister wake up' like how magical even you will love it don't lie cass] Jimmy: [when you can't help genuinely grinning because that's such a good idea we're falling in love rn okay like he's gonna have felt so bad about not having the time, money or energy to decorate, gotta recover ourselves again quick so does an IRL 🤞 'all her pink glittery baubles'll really get Ian in the christmas spirit' but really we're not thinking about him and it'll look epic Janis: [grin back 'cos it's infectious ''cos no way am I sleeping in a room with that lot in' and shrug like, we may as well, as if you remotely had to suggest anything of the sort] Jimmy: ['give us nightmares if all them calories don't' never miss a opportunity to shade the flatwhites honey] Janis: ['I can protect you from them, but not the calories, I'm so sorry' 😏] Jimmy: [eats another biscuit like I reckon I'll live] Janis: [an impression of a Mia shade face like you fat bitch] Jimmy: [an impression of Ella being 😭💔 DEVASTATED] Janis: [snatching the tin like no more for you, and getting one all smug like delicious] Jimmy: [OTT Jimothy pout because always] Janis: [flippant 'deal with it, babes' 'cos mustn't linger LOOKING at him again] Jimmy: [cringing in a way that is OTT but not that fake because she's too good at these impressions and chucking the blanket over her head like begone] Janis: [had enough years of this hoe being present to be an expert, just pulling the blanket down and around our shoulders like ha ha more for me, but gesturing that he should move closer and get under to keep warm too] Jimmy: [does because any excuse to snuggle and likewise play with her hair like it's so in my way rn lemme just] Janis: [hence I got you the present I did honey heheheh, know we're likewise here for this] Jimmy: [just having a moment ™] Janis: [one of the kids should need you or Twix should start wildin' soz boys] Jimmy: [yeah realistically it could be time for Bobby to go to bed depending what time she came over/he could have woken up] Janis: [either way honey, you better skeddale so he can sort this] Jimmy: [we know you're both fuming but especially him because he was gonna carry you to mcvickers gaff] Janis: [soz boy, you can be the most tomorrow though] Jimmy: [we both know he will LOL] Jimmy: [also gonna say he opens up at the CG because putting in a quick shift and doing any dog walking he can for the bae all before this friendmas has even started is just the difference between him and the gals, with the exception of Grace] Janis: [wig tea sis] Jimmy: [tired before you even get there] Janis: [we are that sick of y'all so it's a mood, frankly, but for now] Janis: night Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you better be hopping back, dickhead Janis: [video of her hopping like don't fall] Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🦩 goals if nowt else Janis: 🤔 not not a compliment Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the first bit were Janis: True Janis: pretend I didn't see the rest Jimmy: 🙈🙈🙈 Janis: I've learnt my lesson with blindfolds, tah Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: and here's me with no chance to find out if sir's gonna be more receptive to my kinks Janis: find out if he's alright with broken bones Janis: gonna say unlikely, he flipped his shit over some cut ties Jimmy: @ something about virgin school girls Janis: mhmm Janis: he'd much rather injure you than the other way 'round Janis: it's alright, maybe tomorrow Janis: don't need to be blinded by the decor tbh Jimmy: should've got you a onesie to zip over your head, up for that challenge, massive though it is Janis: oh yeah, the gimp range Janis: 🙄 Janis: you have to pretend to be pleased to see my beautiful face, remember Jimmy: tah for the reminder, would've forgot and done full Home Alone 😱 Janis: yeah, you're about as annoying as that little fucker Janis: tracks Jimmy: rude Jimmy: you'd be chuffed if I had his house Janis: what for? Janis: so I could get you tenants and take the cash? Jimmy: 'cause what's fake mine is fake yours Jimmy: and you must have a bigger 🧠 in that MASSIVE head than the robbers he had to see off Janis: if I was worried about that, I'd let Mia make the moves she wants to Jimmy: so ominous, that Janis: 💋 not 💀 Jimmy: I'd rather 💀💀💀 Jimmy: but you crack on Janis: that's why I said IF I gave a fuck Jimmy: if as massive as her 😍 for her daddy, I get it Janis: thank god it's at Ella's Janis: wouldn't be getting away from hers unmolested Jimmy: can't move for mistletoe, I bet Janis: Baby, it's cold outside Janis: 😈 Jimmy: What IS in that drink? 😏 Janis: me checking yours tomorrow so they don't do my job for me Jimmy: Bill's 👻'll only let us have owt off each other's lips, it'll take fucking ages to 💀💀💀 Janis: you're just an actor on his stage and a player in his 🌍 Janis: have to suck it up and deal with the torture Jimmy: 👍 Janis: No enthusiasm needed 'til tomorrow Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: don't need an early night, you said Janis: your brother seemed like he did though Janis: not trying to get in the way of that top brother 🏆 Jimmy: 🍪 sugar crash did him before us Janis: fair Janis: feeling it and all Janis: still buzzing though Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 😵 🥴 🤢 🤮 scale Janis: I'm solidly 🥴 Jimmy: lightweight Janis: I don't work in a cafe Jimmy: and what? Janis: 🍪🥐🥪🍰 Jimmy: never pull your weight, you Janis: just 'cos you eat yours in baked goods Janis: one of us has to be 💪 Jimmy: hang on, who's been carrying who? Janis: I would carry you Janis: you monopolized it by crippling me Jimmy: convenient excuse that Janis: okay, you aren't 💀👑 daddy don't try it Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: rudest bollocks you've ever said to me Jimmy: how dare you TBH Janis: come back when you've got your law degree and fathered a demon Janis: then we'll talk Jimmy: I'll chuck 'em both at your window, Juliet 📜👶 Janis: 😍 Janis: just don't break it Janis: my window, that is Jimmy: any 👶 of mine's gonna be a right fat bastard, nowt I can do about that, soz Janis: soft landing Janis: all's well that ends well Jimmy: do what you like with the broken glass, so crafty, you Janis: depends if you're gonna come in Janis: obviously Jimmy: it's how it's written Janis: ? Jimmy: I get your attention, you give me it Jimmy: hang your head out or Bill will be fuming Janis: unfortunately there ain't no pool under my window Janis: but that's probably not an original feature of the play Janis: just an excuse to see Leo all bedraggled Jimmy: get him wet to do the same for all the lasses 👀🍿 Janis: poetic Jimmy: IKR Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: Shame it's not festive or I'd suggest it Jimmy: fucking hell, if they're gonna force us to watch Elf, sod the plan, I'll 💀💀💀 myself Jimmy: another poem for you Janis: 1. hot 2. I refuse, think it's gotta be illegal to force us to watch it, it's in the geneva convention, yeah? I'll ask daddy Jimmy: @ him Janis: @litigationandtitilation Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she helped him come up with it Jimmy: DUH, nowt they don't do together Janis: 💕 Janis: dead jealous Jimmy: me an' all Janis: we'll all get to bond over our daddy issues Janis: can't wait Jimmy: #realgoals Janis: obviously Janis: I ain't got them any gifts, have you? Jimmy: I'm working, I'll bring 'em a latte Jimmy: menu full of 🎄 bollocks they ain't bothered to work through yet Janis: how disappointing they'll literally be thrilled Janis: too 😍 to handle, you Jimmy: you gonna meet me there or what? Janis: 🤔 Janis: probably the most #goals if we arrive together Janis: and fuck knows how far they can see from her tower Janis: I could come to your work Janis: pick you and the lattes up 💪🏆 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👌 Janis: just lemme know when you're finishing up then Jimmy: I'll make you something that ain't poisoned Janis: that a threat? Jimmy: more #goals to call it a romantic gesture Janis: 'course Jimmy: get your head in the game, girl Janis: it is Janis: just working out if there's any ways we can fuck it up before even arriving Jimmy: what, like get 💀👑 hopes up and then piss on them even harder? Janis: yeah, like that Janis: or get all the rest on our side, somehow Janis: that'd fuck her off no end Jimmy: so go on, what would it take? Jimmy: other than 💀#2 there's no challenge in it Jimmy: piss easy it were to get Asia to invite us Janis: you're probably more of an expert than me then Janis: like, we've got to make it actually a decent time, the kinda party they wanna have Janis: instead of what 📸s well Janis: and what Mia allows Janis: but we can't just fully steamroll in and be blatant about it Janis: or 💀👑 & 💀#2 would pull ranks Jimmy: what kind of party do they wanna have? Janis: they never look like they're having fun Janis: they're dead in the eyes Janis: even if it ain't my exact idea of, sure we can come up with better, right? Jimmy: easy when we put our massive heads together Janis: Asia is the easiest, we could basically ask her and she'd tell us without clocking Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: Grace were #livingherbestlife when she punched you with a beauty blender, I'll let her 💄💅 me if it pushes 💀👑 off the scale Janis: I'm sure that's just pent-up anger issues Janis: but maybe you've messed up her order one too many times 🔪🔪 Jimmy: deliberately Jimmy: my only joy, that Janis: 😂 Janis: might have a tiny bit of respect for you now Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: pretend to be her boyfriend for a change and you can do one of those tag videos Jimmy: you're alright, my CV'll survive without that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: fair Janis: don't need the rumours Jimmy: if she wants footage, WE'LL get her some, as a team, dickhead Janis: she will be 📽 Janis: so alright Jimmy: always ready for a close up, me Jimmy: and you do alright keeping up an' all Janis: wait 'til I ain't hopping, like Jimmy: that's her, what does the big one want? Janis: you haven't 👀 her about doing this weird dances? Jimmy: steady on, she WEREN'T having seizures? Janis: yeah, I know Janis: it's shocking Jimmy: you'll fuck your other ankle, I ain't having that Janis: you volunteer then? Jimmy: there's gotta be something else they do on that app Janis: are you interested in miming the lyrics to a shitty dance song? Jimmy: POV: your 👻 fake boyfriend Janis: you can go for that oscar Janis: I hope she doesn't try to be funny, or if she does, then I need to watch all her content rn Janis: welcome for the view Jimmy: might win 💀👑 over with the one where I play her dad Janis: 💀💀💀💀💀 Jimmy: or better yet 💀#2 when I have a go at 💀👑 Janis: the plan isn't you seduce everyone Janis: friends not 💦💦 boy Jimmy: it's a fucked plan then Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you're that insatiable or irresistible? Jimmy: I'll be that itchy Jimmy: jumper's coming off any road Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😍 Janis: I'll bring it tomorrow, babe Jimmy: UGH FINE Janis: put your tits away Janis: honestly Jimmy: SO jealous, you Janis: Ha Janis: SO original, you Jimmy: your tits can have 🥈 Joanne, nowt wrong with them or that Janis: Piss off Janis: 💀👑 tell you it don't count if it's just fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMFG! 😱😱😱 Jimmy: should've said you wanted to get her hopes up with a fake breakup Janis: would be well triggering, no doubt Janis: only talk to argue, her lot, you can tell Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: gonna have to 💀💀💀 myself now Jimmy: been nice fake knowing you, my dear Janis: oh no you don't Janis: not being a fake widow Janis: can't pretend to be that 💔💔💔 for the rest of my life Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your 💔😭🎻 Jimmy: can't have owt in common with that lot for a day in my life, tah Janis: I'll feel sorry for you when you're fucking twins with one of them Jimmy: So you want my pity? Don't sound like you but alright Janis: nah, just won't be giving you no 🤗 and 😘 Jimmy: What then? What's my 🎁? Janis: 🕞👀 Jimmy: Come on, I'll fake the surprise Janis: don't get too excited Janis: I haven't nicked you no 💎 Jimmy: bit rude but that's probably my fault for not sitting on your lap and telling you what I want Janis: not too late Janis: see what her ma has lying about Janis: but yeah, if you'd have been more prepared, maybe I woulda been too Jimmy: just the odd 💍👑💼💰 or 🐴 nbd Janis: you're demanding now but you've missed your chance Janis: gutted Jimmy: not too late, you said Janis: you might get A 💎 Janis: can't do the full list now Jimmy: [pouty face 🥺 selfie, we're coming for your life Savannah, soz] Janis: what's in it for me if you ain't gonna sit on my lap? 🎅 Jimmy: never said I wouldn't Janis: 🔊 is cheap Janis: 🐴 are expensive Jimmy: what were it you said, tomorrow, babe Jimmy: giving someone a bell to install a pool or a balcony as I 🗨'd expensive an' all Janis: I've got patience to 🕞👀 Jimmy: good Jimmy: we're just that starcrossed, girl, nowt to be done about it Janis: or lots to do Janis: depending on your point of view Jimmy: lots of 🕞👀 'cause that's your #kink Janis: must be Jimmy: and mine's doing owt for you 💕 Janis: what more could I ask for Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: what more do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You can surprise me Jimmy: alright Janis: is it? Jimmy: isn't it? Janis: alright, alright Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: it'll be good Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: [picture to prove you are at mcvickers] Jimmy: [a picture back of Bobby and Twix snoozing all over you] Janis: looks cozy Jimmy: *uncomfortable Jimmy: speaking of, I'll bring you the 👑 back tomorrow, you can chuck it on instead of a cracker hat Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 there's no one sleeping in my bed Janis: 💡💡 Jimmy: 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: sounds like a party in theory Jimmy: 🔑's [wherever there is a key hidden] if you need to come back Janis: be even weirder for your poor brother if I got in his whilst you're all 🥳 Jimmy: not like he'll hear you come in Jimmy: you or the 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: don't tell him that as his next bedtime story Janis: should be good though, but cheers Jimmy: 👍 Janis: though it's tempting as it's the furthest you've wanted to let me walk in ages Jimmy: want's pushing it Jimmy: but I've seen your top 🦩 impression now Janis: I get it Janis: you wanna see it more Janis: well attractive Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: 🎪🤹🤡 you Jimmy: dead chuffed to see your trapeze next Janis: suppose freak can be a compliment Janis: in the right context Jimmy: [puts it in the right context for a pisstakey 🔥 sext] Janis: yeah Janis: like that Janis: 🥇 asshole Jimmy: 🥉 more like Janis: why's that Jimmy: a 🥇 dickhead ain't that easy to ✔ off as a dickhead Janis: you wanted 😳 Janis: it's not not happening but I don't need to admit it Jimmy: if I wanted 😳 I'd get it Jimmy: with no need for you to admit owt Janis: alright then Janis: take your 🥉 Jimmy: you're alright Janis: time for bed then, dickhead Jimmy: as a piss off goes, I've heard worse Janis: I've done better Janis: but it must be the sugar crash Jimmy: I can do better with compliments an' all Janis: so you say Jimmy: and 🖋 Janis: I'm not doubting your fake boyf ability Jimmy: that weren't what I said Janis: or your 🎨 Jimmy: weren't bringing that up either Janis: come on Jimmy: what? Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: it's mutual Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you heard, I can do better, nowt to be 🤯 or do a 🥁 for Janis: You can't tell me what to do or not to do either way Jimmy: that ain't what I'm trying to do Janis: that's good then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I know you have a dog and a kid kicking you right now Janis: but you really need the beauty sleep Jimmy: rude Janis: you're ruder Jimmy: how am I? Janis: you're just Janis: I don't know Janis: but worse than me Janis: sure of that Jimmy: I were just trying to be less of a twat right then Janis: 😂 Janis: you just confuse me Janis: you aren't like 😡 🤬 rude right now Jimmy: it ain't my fault you can't take a compliment or apology attempt, dickhead Janis: I tried to take a compliment and you said it barely was one Janis: that's what I mean Janis: you're just weird and it's SO rude that you're letting Mia be right, tbh Jimmy: 'cause it weren't Jimmy: a pisstake's a pisstake, a compliment's a compliment Janis: then where have you tried to say sorry or anything not a pisstake Jimmy: what the fuck else does I can do better mean? Janis: Alright, God Janis: don't act like I'm thick Janis: you ain't speaking English Jimmy: bit racist Jimmy: this ain't even a voice memo Janis: yeah, you're well oppressed Jimmy: tah for recognising it, mate Janis: annoying, that's the word I was looking for Jimmy: funny'll do for you, oh hang on, nah Jimmy: meant to go the other way there Janis: yeah the sign of a proper jokes person is cracking yourself up Janis: 👌 babes Jimmy: piss off to bed, babes Janis: don't be jealous of all the space I've got Janis: gonna proper stretch out Jimmy: like I said, well unfunny you Janis: you can't escape when he's proper asleep? Jimmy: to where? Janis: your bed? Janis: his, if that is where you are Jimmy: his is a little kid bed, not stretching out in there Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 Janis: You poor thing Janis: bunk bed sharing would almost be preferable Jimmy: yeah Janis: at least your brother don't vape Jimmy: #ultimatesilverlining Janis: ☀ Jimmy: tah Jimmy: proper cheered now Janis: have only got a single here Janis: not living that luxurious Jimmy: and a 🐻 bear either side, you'll be fucked when the 3rd one comes through after having a piss Janis: better off taking my chances in the park? Janis: still time for that as well Jimmy: never nursed a dickhead with hypothermia before, decent way to pad out my CV Janis: 😒 Janis: yeah, go on Janis: just a neverending case study, me Jimmy: 🥇 muse in every way Janis: real or pisstake Jimmy: reckon I'd be able to 👀 you from here, could be a real inspiration Janis: you probably could anyway, nearly Janis: live pretty close but not giving any more away Janis: gotta keep the privacy and mystery, like Jimmy: brb gotta start a new 📷 IG Jimmy: @longlens Janis: 😂 Janis: if I've got a stalker I'm definitely 🥇 Janis: #madeit Jimmy: you do now Jimmy: 👋👀 Janis: get in Janis: mum'll be so proud Jimmy: got nowt else to do but crack on looking in windows til I find yours, mine'll chuffed to bits an' all Janis: Bill's 👻 will be Janis: unless you get distracted by some other random, then he'll be raging Jimmy: it's his script, I'd just be sticking to it Janis: that's going off script Janis: the other girl is before Janis: don't just get the wrong balcony and change your mind Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: it's Bill's 👻 not me Janis: he don't like improv Jimmy: harder to please than Lucas, him Janis: I'm doing alright 😇 Jimmy: he reckons your tits are 🥇 no accounting for taste Janis: nothing wrong with 🥈 Jimmy: when it's around your neck Janis: the view helps, yeah Janis: #toptits Jimmy: 😏 Janis: not your fault I'm exactly his type Janis: don't feel bad Jimmy: we can both wear the white 👰 but it don't make us exactly his type Jimmy: he'd be the one to call you a slag Janis: you have defiled me Janis: told you that's why he's so pissed off Jimmy: you gonna take an apology for that then? Janis: be a bit weird if you apologized Janis: was the plan Janis: just unfortunate collateral, him Jimmy: it weren't actually Janis: 'course it was Janis: nothing #goals about celibacy Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: was just a joke Janis: I don't need an apology Jimmy: don't you? Janis: no Janis: why do you think I do? Jimmy: why have I got it in your own words loads of times that you reckon it shouldn't have happened if you don't? Janis: No, I only meant it like Janis: it's made things awkward now, is why we shouldn't have Janis: not in a, I didn't want to at the time way Janis: it's not like you did anything wrong Jimmy: and what, it weren't awkward for you before? Janis: What, like I've got loads of past experience with how to navigate a fake dating scenario? Jimmy: exactly my point Jimmy: it were weird as soon as I suggested it Janis: granted Janis: it's just weirder now you don't want to but we still have to fake shit Janis: if we'd not gone there, that wouldn't factor into the overall headfuckery Jimmy: I don't want to what? Janis: not fake it Janis: sometimes, like Jimmy: we've not talked about what I do or don't want Jimmy: so that's bollocks for a start Janis: it ain't Janis: I can read a room Jimmy: so can I, don't be putting it all on me like I fucked it Janis: I weren't but you clearly are so cheers for that Jimmy: you said me, I ain't speaking for you Janis: I haven't said you've fucked anything up Jimmy: I've made it weirder is what you said Janis: no, it IS weirder Janis: 'cos of decisions we both made Jimmy: that's a cop out Jimmy: I can also read between the lines and that's you reckoning the decisions you're making now are right and mine are bollocks Janis: all I'm trying to do is not be a massive twat here Janis: it's not right or wrong Janis: I can't help if I still wanna but I'm not gonna whinge about it like some nice guy or something as lame Jimmy: nicely done then Janis: fine Janis: fuck this Jimmy: I don't get what your problem is Janis: what do you mean? Janis: how do you not get that I'm accepting what you want and dealing with it and you're just taking the piss Jimmy: I've never said I want that Janis: What? Jimmy: when or where have I? Janis: that you don't want me to just do what I want and not give a fuck about what you do? Janis: it's just a given that I won't be a total cunt like that, surely Jimmy: you heard me, you don't know what I want Jimmy: dunno why it's a given that you'd just guess Janis: then tell me Janis: why am I guessing Jimmy: you've got some bollocks 💭 in your head that's nowt to do with me or what I've 🗨 Jimmy: that'll be why Janis: tell me Jimmy: It didn't feel like a mistake to me Janis: that's the opposite of what I thought you thought Janis: alright Jimmy: you were being a massive twat, keep up, we've done that bit Janis: no, great Janis: actually got to go bludgeon myself with a big rock now Jimmy: don't Jimmy: it's a job to talk to you when you ain't brain damaged Janis: I'm serious Janis: and I'm sorry Janis: jesus fucking christ Jimmy: me an' all, dunno if it's safe for you to go to this friendmas 'cause you obvs CAN'T read a room, sweetheart Jimmy: could be deadly serious, that Janis: I know I deserve it but please shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: why haven't you done anything about it then Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: if you can read a room, allegedly Janis: works both ways right Jimmy: you said it shouldn't have happened, how else would you like me to read into that? Jimmy: a mistake is what I heard Janis: I said that when you called me a slag Jimmy: but I didn't Jimmy: and what works both ways an' all is that you haven't done owt since then either Janis: yeah, because from my point of view, you called me easy, I made you apologize for it and then you ain't come near me since Janis: I'm not killing myself for no reason Janis: you've never said bullshit when you're fuming? Jimmy: I ain't the baby Jesus Jimmy: 'course I have Jimmy: and will do again, might be to you Janis: There you go then Janis: I said it was a mistake 'cos it sounded like you reckoned as much Janis: we may as well be on the same page Janis: didn't want to be that twat but that worked out well Jimmy: it just Jimmy: touched a nerve, alright Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: clearly so did the easy thing so not gonna judge Jimmy: our lives are headfucks, that's why we need this to make it easier Janis: that was meant to be the idea Janis: we just need to Janis: replan Janis: maybe? Jimmy: we just need to talk to each other Janis: easier said than done Janis: but yeah Janis: not wrong Jimmy: if I have to spell it out and stick my CAPS on, I can do Jimmy: I work in customer service, like Janis: that's lovely Janis: really wanna be compared to one of your customers Jimmy: hey, you know you're way too fit and mysterious Janis: barely at this point Janis: I've come across as a total fucking state Jimmy: Oi, we can do this ☀ girl Janis: I'm up for listening Janis: and I won't infer the rest, that much is a deal Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🩸🖋 Jimmy: We going to the park then or what? Janis: we don't have to speak when we get there, do we? Jimmy: bit rude you ain't gonna recite a sonnet to me, Jules, but I'll live Janis: maybe another night Janis: but I'm still pretty fucking mortified right now so you gotta promise Jimmy: we're doing alright if you're promising me another night Jimmy: and I'm clearly on fine form for giving you more accidental poetry so Janis: shame to waste it? Janis: I guess you can but don't expect me to because I'm better when I keep it shut Jimmy: you're Janis: don't finish that before I've had the chance to change your mind Jimmy: as promises go, I reckon I can keep that one Janis: and I can promise it'll be worth it Jimmy: go on Jimmy: before you stop saying owt to me Janis: I promise Janis: that you're gonna have even more to say about me and even less idea how to say it Jimmy: I Jimmy: there, you're managing to stop me going on already Janis: I don't mind when you go on Janis: just not what I want right now Jimmy: time and a place to be on script, I get it Janis: exactly Janis: and you've gotta be off the clock sometimes Jimmy: @ my manager in a bit Jimmy: just not right now Janis: not invited Jimmy: and you can't hop and @ Janis: don't challenge me Jimmy: nursing kink ain't gonna go away when your ankle stops being the size of your head Jimmy: gotta plan ahead Janis: you could just look after me Janis: I'll fake whatever injury you fancy Jimmy: how many oscars you after? Janis: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: get a hop on then Janis: Am Janis: not trying to get caught mid-hop though so 🤫 Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: you could just tell me where you are and have a hand, I ain't allowed to be the one who 💀💀💀 you Janis: I could Janis: was mainly arsed about getting caught in the gaff but still Janis: be quicker Janis: [location] Jimmy: if I get there and there ain't no nan or granddad I'll chuck you the log ins for the stalker account Janis: like I've made 'em up Janis: and I've broke into a house just to be close-by? Janis: I don't reckon I'm that dedicated Jimmy: dunno about that, all I know is I could spit and you'd be hopping on a wet foot Janis: 🤤 would've been more romantic, Romeo Jimmy: Oi, I deliberately didn't say piss to be more romantic Janis: erm, talk to me!!! 😤😤😤 Janis: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: alright fine, I'll piss on the side of the house you're squatting in, stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: good luck Janis: it's freezing Jimmy: sounds like some weird ⛄ challenge, I'd better film it for Tammy's tiktok Janis: SO thoughtful, babe Janis: just giving her that clout for free Jimmy: just that kind of dickhead, me Janis: I'll @ you in my glowing review later Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [show up boy it's really not far] Jimmy: which window am I climbing up to with a 🌹 in my 🦷🦷 Janis: you mean, which bit of pavement am I gonna be scraping you off of when you slip to your 💀💀💀 Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: your nan'll love the 💕 if you don't bother directing me Janis: I'll remember to pick up your 🦷🦷 and all Janis: [but flashing the light of the room you in like sup] Jimmy: wrap 'em up for Asia and it's job done on winning them all over Jimmy: [get your bae Jimothy] Janis: 💕🎁 Jimmy: [please don't actually die lol] Janis: [at least there is a genuine ladder up lmao, just don't wake the child or mcvickers] Jimmy: [now isn't the time for you to recite shakespeare, another time nerd] Janis: [you gotta be quiet, which is why we're not staying 'cos we know the vibe] Jimmy: [likewise why we're not going to his house either even though it's cold af] Janis: [soz about it but not, you're young and you'll be warm af soon enough] Jimmy: [gotta do what you gotta do lads and the park has those good mems and the graffiti you did so] Janis: [enjoy ladies] Jimmy: [until you have to go to work live your best life] Janis: [at least you have reconciled to totally boss this friendmas] Jimmy: [soz I ruined the tension but it would've been hard to concentrate on ruining Mia's life with that hanging over you] Janis: [we go with the flow honey] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to friendmas if you want unless you wanna have a CG work moment] Janis: [like you could but you probably shouldn't sleep out here again all night so yes, we could do a little CG moment] Jimmy: [gotta go there for the first time at some point, get that off menu smoothie and some food that's actually vaguely edible] Janis: [have cute moments, even though we know none of the flatwhites will be there] Jimmy: [we can post them to annoy Mia before we even get there because we all know Pablo isn't coming] Janis: [try one of calebs other kids hen, might be easier to use] Jimmy: [teach the bae how to do festive latte art they'll be jealous af and the manager is never there either] Janis: [do have some funny latte art pics, along with whatever we invariably actually bring yous] Jimmy: [#fated] Janis: [I kinda want you to go out and get them something pisstakey but I really cannot think what] Jimmy: [it would be funny, hmm what could we do?] Janis: [some kind of game/drinking game/or forbidden food vibe, actual fun Mia would not be happy about is the point] Jimmy: [things should totally get said during these games that they have for more blackmail potential to add to her cheating on the school trip] Jimmy: [I'm just debating whether Asia should have a bf who comes like we did at that sleepover that time or if we wanna save that for another time] Janis: [spill that tea ladies, we all know it don't take much for you to turn on each other so] Janis: [and I vote no, I think, plenty of opportunities to do that later though] Jimmy: [fair, Mia probably is hoping Asia'll seduce Jimothy so can't have a bf in the way] Janis: [and it's just BFF goals vibes, like you aren't allowed boys because they aren't important, soz Asia you hoe] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [can't let lads know how weird you all are] Jimmy: [the scolding tea] Janis: [pretending to be normal is for real xmas with your fams hens] Jimmy: [I don't need to be thinking about you gals at christmas thanks] Janis: [teenage xmas is the worst tbh] Jimmy: [agreed] Jimmy: [do you think there's any decorations they could steal out of the CG or are they too hipstery?] Janis: [I think we could probably get decent indoor ones from there, steal a lil tree moment] Jimmy: [do it while the flatwhites aren't there because Mia and Ella are snitches and he don't need to get fired this close to christmas] Janis: [do it at the start of your shift and hide it, who's noticing this close to xmas, no hoe except them so stay away] Jimmy: [we need this christmas cheer excuse us] Janis: [kids would do it anyway or they'd get broke, get a life gals] Jimmy: [we're trying to save christmas for Bobby here so bye] Janis: [it'll be magical and we're stealing your lights bitch bye] Jimmy: [Ella doesn't need them, not sorry] Janis: [also, not related but meet Pete too] Jimmy: [not in a way that makes him 😒 and jealous though we've only just reconciled] Janis: [my boo says give me my fluff] Jimmy: [defs gonna draw JJ and Twix tangled up in christmas lights for today's doodle once they've decorated so there's my fluff] Janis: [that's cute af get it boy] Janis: [we can go through lowkey and then stop whenever we wanna fully do something, so, should we be one of the first to get there or last what's the vibe] Jimmy: [I think first like it's just Mia and obvs Ella cos it's her house LOL there because they'd hate that and I said Grace was late, it makes sense Hollie would be too because she's even more done with them] Janis: [that's a mood, oh gals, how welcome are you gonna make them feel] Jimmy: [can't even do the gift exchange until everyone gets here, how awkward, good thing Jimothy will shamelessly request a house tour] Janis: [the casual side-eye you're gonna have to hold in, like lemme pretend to be so uninterested in your house which is undeniably big without coming off as salty] Jimmy: [he'll carry you through this gaff gal, nothing will annoy Ella and Mia more than when you're more into each other and being coupley af than the rich gal flexes in every room] Janis: [at least we can play up how bad the ankle is again, get me ice ho] Jimmy: [Ella never did get any sympathy she'll be fuming, play up that nursing conveniently like when you get to Ella's room like oops gotta just rest here for a bit soz] Janis: [just regaling how much he's looked after you like that bitch] Jimmy: [as he fusses over you, god bless, we're literally gonna do all we can to make Mia storm out and back downstairs haha] Janis: [ergo asking where Pablo is, like oh, thought he'd be here] Jimmy: [Jimothy is so amused he's gonna hide his face in the bae] Janis: [just lowkey ignoring her to be subtly all over him when she rants about the importance of gal time or whatever like mhmm interesting] Jimmy: [literally why wasn't he banned if that's true hun, hence he'll be even more unsubtly all over her until we're genuinely ignoring the gals] Janis: [we all know it's one rule for you and another for them but that didn't pan out lololol, awkward when you'd wanna watch for an uncomfortable amount of time Mia, make Asia show please so you can't] Jimmy: [go answer the door to her so they can have a moment but also snoop through Ella's shit thank you] Janis: [just like where it the shrine honey] Jimmy: [shame it's so far in the future that she wouldn't have a paper diary for them to find, unless like they used to have those kid ones and Ella kept hers because the golden age of this friendship obvs] Janis: [imagine how 1. gay it'd be 2. all the goss on them all, have a read of that lads] Jimmy: [take 📷 because you'll never know when you might need them] Janis: [get that relevant tea 'was her sister the donkey?' 'cos Asia is here and we remembering] Jimmy: [a little lol as we forlornly shake our head because she sadly was not and they missed a trick 'Mary' because why not 'makes sense why Joseph was having none of her' just calling a child ugly here nbd] Janis: [makes a face like she's so appalled like oh no 'your brother's year must be a real bunch of uggos' 'cos we're on the same wavelength here] Jimmy: ['not saying the director's onto something but as top casting for a homeless virgin who looks like she's had her head shut in a door goes..' trailing off with a shrug like we haven't just dragged a little girl to within an inch of her life] Janis: [violently shushing him as they come up, as if Asia would ever clock it, god bless, but then it just looks like you've got an amazing in joke 'cos it's like omg babe] Jimmy: [love that cos we've gotta actually be nice to Asia as she's the first person here you can actually get on your side, so use your barista charm boy] Janis: [compliment her jumper or something girl, can't let him do everything Jimmy: [and take some selfies with her that you can easily but subtly exclude the other 2 from cos 3's already a crowd huns] Janis: [love that, and Asia should have a boyf that she wanna talk about 'cos then you can actually let her gal and she'll be buzzing] Jimmy: [yassssss encourage her in all the ways those 2 don't and won't ever] Janis: [at least you can pretend you're throwing 😍 at him when really it's pained looks lmao] Jimmy: [and we can talk about the nativity and younger sibling christmas bs because those 2 bitchy only children could never] Janis: [mhmm, hopefully you love your sisters more than just accessories gal] Jimmy: [there's no way to know but JJ are slaying this so well done lads] Janis: [honestly need some kind of award 'cos it can't be overstated how hard Mia & Ella would be trying to bitch you both out] Jimmy: [hence I'm like is there anything else you can do while it's just shameless stealing Asia tactics before the others get here because we know it's not hard to get those two on side] Janis: [Hmm, what's a stupid bitch want what's a stupid bitch need] Janis: [you'll want your latte before they go cold tbf] Jimmy: [I hope he's brought like some christmas ugly jumper biscuits from the CG because getting her hyped up on sugar will only make her more annoying] Janis: [she's basically a child, just let her live in the ways they don't tbh and she'll be thrilled] Jimmy: [literally talking to her about what she wants for christmas like she is a child LOL] Janis: [try not to cackle, but we are 1000% getting on his lap to make a sneaky point like easy 🎅} Jimmy: [never have to fake how into that we are and it's a great segue to tell her all the #goals shit we've been up to and all the festive coupley plans we have] Janis: [when you truly have like it sounds like so much, y'all will be jealous] Jimmy: [as if you aren't fuming enough by how touchy feely and loved up they are before they've even said a word] Janis: [trying to separate them but also don't want their help with anything, we see you] Jimmy: [at least when JJ have had enough they can go 🚬 and on a christmas lights scouting mission because it's #goals to go have a wander and look at lights and it gets dark early af so you can] Janis: [that is goals, don't lie, you probably need to get through dinner first my loves, just be overly helpful with the food prep so you can lowkey fuck it up and they'll be raging] Jimmy: [Grace will be buzzing when she gets there cos not only is Pablo not but she's the only one who has gifts for jj out of these gals] Janis: [thank god he ain't there, we would simply throw hands lmao, lord knows shit nan and the extra ex will be making an appearance soon] Jimmy: [Grace would have straight up walked in and straight back out again if he was and you know it Mia so good luck chatting shit about friendship then] Janis: [get to getting this starter everyone try not to actively vom at the table] Jimmy: [at least that would taste nice cos it's literally brie and cranberry and walnuts and honey so you're welcome everyone] Janis: [looking at y'all 💀💀 why do I feel like JJ need to go to the toilets immediately after like you two cannot, the shade of it all] Jimmy: [LOVE that] Janis: [sure you have more than 2 but we know what's being said huns] Jimmy: [the point has been made] Janis: 😈💩🤮❌ Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: oh no, is this the group chat? Janis: sorry Jimmy: *😱😱😱 Jimmy: if it were Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 of 'em Jimmy: soz, you're dead right, babe Janis: though I don't think the big one is doing it right Janis: awks Jimmy: she'll be getting her bollocking now Janis: poor cow Janis: if I were to cast her in a nativity Janis: but I'm just seeing what meds they've got Jimmy: @Helena Janis: ugh, I wish Janis: what back problems is this flat-chested 💀 gonna have Jimmy: you're alright though, yeah? Janis: of course I am Janis: just potential dirt Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you alright? Jimmy: nowt wrong with my 🦶 Jimmy: might end up with back problems of my own if you ain't 💩🤮 in there but Helena'll sort it Janis: fuck off Janis: negging me, dickhead Jimmy: I get it, you're gutted there weren't no 🦒 at the birth of Jesus Jimmy: no need to take it out on me Janis: only elves in the christmas story, so you're no better off Jimmy: your 👂 kink is blatant, Jennifer Janis: psh Jimmy: not gonna stick that 💎 you owe me in mine if that's the best comeback you've got Janis: you're very annoying, I'm pretending to 💩🤮 Jimmy: no 👂's pressed against the door, putting you off? Janis: you tell me Janis: can I perform without an audience? Jimmy: we've not done 💩🤮 Janis: #kinkstillonlock Jimmy: [another pisstakey 🥺 selfie because gotta kill time in this bathroom somehow] Janis: do you reckon that's 💀#2 thing? Janis: 💀👑 is obviously killing people slowly Jimmy: bit weird you having that in common Janis: oh no Janis: have to speed it up Jimmy: ready when you are Janis: come here? Jimmy: [does] Janis: [have a little makeout moment because we're swagging this and deserve it Jimmy: [pick her up and sit her on the sink so she doesn't have to stand up and because it's a #mood] Janis: [so shook that we gasping but in a good way, like] Jimmy: [you can have a noise back gal because we're into it] Janis: [IRL 🥺 'cos we have to go back, even if we're purposefully taking ages here] Jimmy: [just doing the MOST to make her forget that we have to go back because we don't want to either] Janis: [at least there's a perfect excuse to be loud and extra so you can go 'til you get caught and someone is like excuse me get out lol] Jimmy: [the joys] Janis: [will definitely be Ella or Asia] Jimmy: [we know Mia sent you whichever one it is, probably Ella cos it's her house so she can be that bitch] Janis: [I mean, at least we didn't break your sink hun] Jimmy: [or fuck in your bed which we easily could have] Janis: [nights still young but yeah count your blessings xoxo anyway, the main meal, we probably know the vibe?] Jimmy: [you know Mia and Ella were in charge of that bit cos clearly giving Hollie pudding to call her a fat bitch and not trusting Asia with basically anything so it's not gonna be 🥇] Janis: [it's gonna be so bland with like low-fat everything and ew] Jimmy: [gonna have to start a cute little flirty food fight moment like Tony and Effy had, skins we see you and your incesty energy, when they made those faces then that spoon got flicked etc, so you don't have to eat this] Janis: [their energy was so strange lol, like they did go out so it probably didn't help but we see you, also doing a fake like you're going to eat it and you're trying to be polite but it's so gross soz we cannot] Jimmy: [everyone be pushing that food hardcore around their plates,, can't even do a feeding each other romantic moment because it's too grim] Janis: [like ladies, you can't binge and go to town for one day, not when the others can see, we get it] Jimmy: [save the day with whatever pudding you've brought Hollie thank you] Janis: [bitches be ravenous, at least we eat at the CG] Jimmy: [jimothy got your back gal, can and will eat again when you're decorating too so] Janis: [and it's time for presents] Jimmy: [I literally can't stress enough how happy and shook he's gonna be because feelsy gifts are not a thing in his life rn it's all on Bobby to make a cute card or whatever so his thank you hug will be very genuine and emosh and he'll write 'you're' on her back for that throwback because we are speechless and a ! for emphasis] Janis: [when you're lowkey thinking he's faking most of that at least but then he writes on you so you know it's real so then you're smiley af, enjoy that guys, you can't even shade 'cos it's personal and shit he wants and what do any of y'all know about that, and writing 'you' back] Jimmy: [the gals can't be shading anyway because they'll too busy DYING when he puts this necklace on her because it's intimate af, gotta gently move that hair out of the way, kiss the back of her neck in a soft way, the whole 9] Janis: [just fully ignoring them all and it ain't even fake, gotta be SO grateful excuse us] Jimmy: [we're in the moment and our feelings bitches] Janis: ['I can't even deal with you' talking more like them but where is the lie] Jimmy: [we gotta just kiss her because 1. what are words even fake words 2. you know exactly how to deal with me cos we're 🥇] Janis: [just ignore the 😒😒😒😒😒 you're getting for AGES then be like oh, please, open your presents] Jimmy: [just being couple goals casually in the background while the gals pretend to care about each other's gifts] Janis: [I live] Jimmy: [highlight of the day tbh] Janis: [you know they wrapping up and putting that shite film on so fast honey, like oh yeah, give them an excuse to cuddle under a blanket] Jimmy: [literally Mia is this close to kicking all of y'all out and it ain't even her house] Janis: [it's so funny how easy it is to piss y'all off, do have to remember to keep the rest vaguely on side though] Jimmy: [you've done well lads and we all know none of the gals actually wanna watch this film they probably do the same one every year, just on their phones super bored] Janis: [you gotta lowkey suggest you play a game instead like come on this is BOOOOOOOORING] Jimmy: [he's a boy he's allowed to hate rom coms so it's easily done] Janis: [you two 💀 can protest but clearly we're over it so you outnumbered even if Asia was like I don't mind or whatever] Jimmy: [get that tea, especially if it's a drinking game because they are all lightweights] Janis: [we know this could get passive-aggressive fast lol] Jimmy: [it will blatantly which is how we can bring this friendmas to an end without it looking like JJ's fault] Janis: [hohaha just like this is awkward gals] Jimmy: [run away and look at aka steal some lights lads, your work here is done] Janis: [you can go decorate his now and make the kids day] Jimmy: [though we might have to kill some time and do it when they're asleep because I doubt we were at Ella's that late] Janis: [true hen, we know we killed this party before tea time honestly lol] Jimmy: [walk some dogs together first of all] Janis: [get that cash babies] Jimmy: [they should come back and eat some actually nice christmassy snacks and watch a christmas film that doesn't suck and play a game with Bobby that doesn't end in murder like this is how easy it is to do better than you gals] Janis: [yes, 'cos 1. real 2. all they'd have to do was a couple of pics and everyone would know the flatwhites was a flop] Jimmy: [exactly and she hasn't met Bobby yet so I thought that'd be a nice chill way to do it cos not trying to make it a thing™] Janis: [yes, this is true, rip to not seeing your marvellous sheep performance hen] Jimmy: [and he can talk about wanting to see Santa to put that idea in jj's heads] Janis: [easy] Janis: Oi Janis: use your elf connections Jimmy: 🎅 or nowt, me Jimmy: [takes off that ugly christmas jumper in a pisstakey way like I've got the body for it] Janis: [😏 and pats his tummy like yeah] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna put a cushion up his top but then chucks it at her head] Janis: [whispers the obscenities behind Bobby's head] Jimmy: [signs something at her which is obvs 6 year old level insults to make Bobby lol and join in] Janis: [just getting dragged, fake cry so Twix comes to support you gal] Jimmy: [we'll teach you gal it's always useful] Janis: [love that] Jimmy: [at least if Cass comes back we can bribe her into walking some dogs for us because don't need the 😒 when we've just escaped the flatwhites] Janis: [at least you'll get some spends gal, because that age you can't even get your own job so it's pocket money purely] Jimmy: [win her over as well lads nicely done] Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪 us Janis: I'll be waiting for my card, like Jimmy: 🐾 an' all Janis: awh Janis: you don't need to sign it Janis: got the doodles Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: I ain't forgot I owe you one Janis: 🕥 Janis: gonna be THAT bitch 🙄 Jimmy: nowt more #goals than nagging a lad to 💀💀💀 babes Janis: except that friendmas, AM I RIGHT Jimmy: [IRL LOL because] Janis: [😏] Janis: kinda sad how easy that was Jimmy: [a shrug because we see them all the damn time at the CG we knew how easy it'd be] Jimmy: alright, I'll give you a challenge, girl, stop begging Janis: just saying Janis: BFFs it ain't Jimmy: and you'd never know from the group chat Janis: yeah Janis: the performance they put on would be almost impressive if it weren't tragic 'cos no one cares Jimmy: [chucks her some gingerbread house kit like there's your challenge babe because they always suck and never stick together and taste gross 'make that look goals and you'll impress me']] Janis: [obviously we're gonna do it 'cos can't turn a challenge, also roping Bobby into helping by letting him eat some of the sweets which are the only nice part of tbh, just LOOKing at him like 'why would I need to do that?' like is it don't care to or is it already have, we know] Janis: *down Jimmy: [Twix not helping but getting involved god bless her, we're giving her a LOOK back because always will hen 'might just be worth it' cos remember when she made that promise before they went to the park last night, he does] Janis: [God loves a trier Twix, lowkey feeding one of the gingerbread people to her and doing mini screams of terror as it gets its head chomped off lol, then having to hide our 😳s 'cos of course it will be and of course we do] Jimmy: [just watching this and falling in love nbd] Janis: [when you've inadvertently done them a solid there 'cos there's usually a mummy and a daddy and then 2 kids so like, fuck you Ian we're just making Jimmy and Cass and Bobby and there's no awkwardness over missing mum] Jimmy: [I didn't even think of that goodbye] Janis: [like thank you girl for swerving that lmao, also putting the shades on him and holding it up like eh, eh?!] Janis: likeness is uncanny Jimmy: Oi, where's my 🚬? Janis: there's nothing festive about throat cancer Jimmy: Dickens 👻'd disagree Jimmy: he's 💔 it got cut in the edit Janis: there's still time for your manager to show up with a goose Janis: and if you get me some crutches, you won't have to do so much heavy lifting Jimmy: more of a 🐷 you but we'll crack on regardless Janis: you're so rude Janis: if I WAS Miss Piggy, I'd kick you down right now Jimmy: one good trotter an' all 💕 Janis: it's important I keep you under it Janis: Kermit is the ultimate cuck Jimmy: #ultimategoals Jimmy: 💀👑 can't even get a text back Janis: she's the rat Jimmy: keep it between us 💀#2 is gonna be gutted they ain't ⛓ together Janis: for all eternity Janis: being judgy af Jimmy: her only kink unlocked Janis: there's fuck all 🧠 or 💪 energy left to have any other passion Janis: it's 💀👑 and nothing else and that's the way they 💕 it Jimmy: [sends her his fave gayest pages of the diary like LOL cos they only had time to skim read at the time] Janis: [trying not to actually lol out loud 'cos still doing this house and watching this film] Janis: imagine 💬 that and not faking it Jimmy: [nudges her because we wanna hear that lol soz if we knock you when you're building] Jimmy: imagine 💭 that BEFORE you were 🧠 dead Janis: [a face like HOW DARE, don't sabotage me, boy but we grinning] Janis: maybe she was WELL lovely before my sister started hanging about Janis: she will do that to you, like Jimmy: [😘 like ILY babe I would NEVER] Jimmy: Puberty'll do that when you wanna fuck your daddy an' all Jimmy: not to snatch away your 🏆 or owt, Gracie Janis: [dangling gingerbread him over her tea like I'll do it, bitch, try me] Janis: she's used to it Janis: 🏅 participation Jimmy: [a look like do it because death wish 5ever] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [acting like we really considering it, before putting him back and getting to work on a frosting Twix 'cos tah for being the right colour and texture lowkey lol] Janis: death march more appropriate after today Jimmy: kill bill siren sound Janis: love to take a samurai sword to 'em                                                                                                                         ' Janis: 💔 my christmas ruined Jimmy: more 🏆 than them tiktoks with the 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 Janis: but not more 🏆 than this gaff Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: yeah, reserve your judgment 'til I'm finished Jimmy: til we're finished, dickhead Janis: I will have to do the high ones though Jimmy: [another playful nudge like piss off and the gingerbread house wall will be falling] Janis: [lowkey pissed off haha not majorly but attacking him with this frosting like STAPH] Jimmy: [playfight because always] Janis: [being like, Bobby, please protect the castle, I'mma fight off this monster real quick] Jimmy: [that sweet boy gonna take his job so seriously god bless] Janis: [as are we you're going down jimothy] Jimmy: [until we use distracting tactics like picking up the pendant part of that necklace like oh hey remember this and how much you love me] Janis: [looking at Bobby like you have to play fair when there's other people about] Jimmy: [draws a 🏆 on whatever bare skin there is, obvs taking our time to be flirty af cos we're always playing to win honey] Janis: [at least you don't have to worry about calling him a dickhead right now 'cos we must lest we say anything else] Jimmy: [likewise can say 'you' back and not worry about how his voice shamelessly sounds, ah deaf brother perks] Janis: [write 'later' on him 'cos we can promise that] Jimmy: [just as well because Cass can't be out walking dogs forever and she will charge in all snowy and cold like make me a cuppa bitch and obvs Jimothy will] Janis: [and she would not be happy at this scene because grumpy tween life, so focus you two] Janis: you know how I like it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [jimothy just shouting through like a fussy dad @ Cass like if you want a warm shower or bath go after this cos I'mma be starting Bobby's bedtime routine soon] Janis: [probs not at all mortified you did that in front of Janis, nice one boy] Jimmy: [she hates him so much during this time period I lol Janis: [poor boy, you're doing you're best, we all are] Janis: [at least you can clear away this gingerbread carnage] Jimmy: [join him in the kitchen gal but not in the flirty way he hoped would be happening a bit ago] Janis: [just subtly helping without being asked always, love that for yous] Jimmy: [she's so caring in a way that he is not used to at all, it kills me] Janis: [just coming up behind him in a fake-out trying to scare you but not actually way 'you want me to clear out of here for a bit?' like, come back later when they're asleep vibes] Jimmy: [just saying no before he can stop himself and then it's like well now I wanna die] Janis: [just nodding like okay, 'cos not gonna make a big deal even though that was obviously a speedy reply] Jimmy: [doing his own nod towards the window like the weather is the reason we don't want her to go even though we know now how close mcvickers gaff is and that she'd be fine] Janis: ['I'm fine with staying cosy' and takes half the teas in] Jimmy: [shit like this is why we're falling in love with you gal] Janis: [like we are gonna feel slightly awkward whilst he's sorting his siblings but we know the drill from our own back in the day so we can deal] Jimmy: [we'll be sending Cass upstairs for her long bath like my boo used to have because being a tween is the worst okay, good thing Ian isn't here for how long she'll be in there and the music blasting but we're gonna be stuck with Bobert for a while cos he won't wanna go to bed] Janis: [when you partying, live your dreams babe, can't fight you, put on a slightly more chill xmas movie maybe, like idk, polar express or something, he'll fall asleep eventually] Jimmy: [Twix and Bobby falling asleep between you on this sofa like an adorable cockblock] Janis: [just looking over at him like, mission accomplished] Jimmy: [taking them upstairs to bed when it's safe to without waking them, the bae can take a snoozy Twix for you, nodding at Bobby's bed like told you I wouldn't be able to stretch out on that] Janis: [mimes measuring the bed and him like hmm, idk] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her out of the room] Janis: [at least you can take your chance to push him back and have a kiss in this corridor] Jimmy: [glad Cass' music will cover up how loud Jimothy is because of how badly he's wanted to kiss her for what would feel like an age] Janis: [you'll be so glad you didn't hear that, gal, well done, just like 'some santa' though 'cos where is your sneakiness] Jimmy: [looking at the necklace and back to her like excuse you I'm a great santa] Janis: [looking down and then touching it 'it's not totally shit, actually' obvs we were 😍 earlier but that was in front of the gals] Jimmy: [a shrug like it's all so casual and we don't give a fuck either 'did the job' because obvs it was all about impressing the gals and not her] Janis: ['glad I don't have to bin it' 'cos we actually like it and it's not basic just because we had to do a #goals gift moment] Jimmy: ['weren't where I got it out of' because we clearly did buy this there's no way you could've stolen it feasibly as it's jewellery] Janis: [raising a brow, 'you don't want it back, do you?' like are you saying it's too expensive or something] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'my tits'll never pass for yours' like I can't take #goals pics for the gram pretending I'm you so there's no point] Janis: [turns like good, 'cos I'm not giving it back, good day] Jimmy: [go put these decorations up and Jimothy will play the I saw mummy kissing Santa song to make the point like he ain't sneaky either so] Janis: ['that's because it's the dad, not the real santa, dickhead' like get ur facts straight hun] Jimmy: ['never said I were the real santa, Janet' like I'm just good at it like I am at everything thank you] Janis: [mime a 💔 and also a 🤫 'you are tonight'] Jimmy: ['sounds like I'll be going to see him in a bit' cos Bobby wants to, an unimpressed face like lucky me 'don't reckon he'll be fuming about the roleplay though, we're alright'] Janis: [😍 like LUCKY YOU 'there's one in [a place I've not looked up but I'm sure exists lol] that's meant to be pretty good'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out and has a look before giving her an IRL 👍 like a nerd because it looks decent enough] Janis: [bows like ya welcome] Jimmy: ['you coming?' cos she didn't do the nativity and the reason that would've looked #goals is the same here] Janis: [is thinking 'can I bring someone?'] Jimmy: [is a bit like whomst but nods because yeah obvs you can] Janis: ['alright then' like not gonna elaborate lol ok] Jimmy: [says it back and we're cracking on with these decorations] Janis: [get it gals, make it look magical] Jimmy: [at least his house isn't huge so it won't take you forever] Janis: [though it is a house so don't die doing an outside moment, make it work, like] Jimmy: [#teamwork but do take a break when you are outside to piss about with the snow even though there isn't loads you can still chuck it at each other and then get each other with your cold hands] Janis: [no more park for you gals, looking in the general direction of thinking as much] Jimmy: [looking where she's looking and thinking the same things, it was nice while it lasted lads, when he REALLY wants to tell her to stay here but we already embarrassed ourselves in the kitchen being like DON'T GO so we can't say anything] Janis: [at least this will keep you busy for a while, before you have no obvious reason to stay] Jimmy: [could feasibly take hours because it takes ages just to do a tree sometimes] Janis: [mhmm honey bunny, this is still gonna be awks though, at least you can say that you wanna bring your niece and work out those logistics like are we going tomorrow orrr 'cos not long now sweaty] Jimmy: [we probably are realistically, ew I hate to imagine how busy it would be] Janis: [my boo say disgusting lmao, at least you can make this goodbye more natural now like gotta get up for that hens, just being like, hope Bobby loves the decs 'cos we do] Jimmy: [gotta be in the morning so he can work in the afternoon because busy time and we need that cash honey, the greatest and best hug goodbye because it's been such a feelsy day] Janis: [trying not to linger and failing lowkey, we see y'all] Jimmy: [will offer to walk you home as if you haven't just been putting decs up with that ankle, we know you just are trying to keep this going] Janis: [do we reckon it's too late for public transport, like you don't wanna go home and you are just gonna come back tomorrow, soz mcvickers showing up again] Jimmy: [mcvickers are used to it and she needs Libi early that's our excuse] Janis: [let him walk you back then gal] Jimmy: [🚬 break during this walk back because there wouldn't have been enough of those today] Janis: [chance to breathe hens, you been busy, ruining lives, making days] Jimmy: [let it hit you boy how close christmas actually is] Janis: [we're all shook, like your mother must be hitting you up gal, what's the tea this year] Jimmy: [gonna ask her if she wants to go for breakfast tomorrow before this santa appointment because he wants Bobby to have a nice time, like we know we have to work a lot soz little man] Janis: ['as long as you aren't suggesting going in to work early' like you love your job SO much babe but obvs, we are down] Jimmy: [such an unamused noise and face because I can only imagine the hell that the CG is on the daily never mind at festive times] Janis: [😏 'cos we've literally been in ONCE at this point and we're like yeah, I know, y'all can go somewhere decent] Jimmy: [somewhere these bubs will love and think is so swag but you won't hate every second of] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like THANKS for today post friendmas but it's awkward so you just pull her back a little bit and then you're just there like -] Janis: [Dublin looks like there's loads of cool places in general so I have faith, doing the signature ?] Jimmy: [just looking at her like if you could read my mind rn that would be great] Janis: [so rude you cannot tbh, just pushing him gently like what though, like don't freak me out] Jimmy: ['tah for-' gestures back in the direction of his house 'our kid'll be chuffed to bits when he has a look'] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'won't pass it on to #2' 'cos lots of those decs were hers but fuck you gal 'take a pic if he looks cute' 'cos we blatantly wanna see his reaction but not gonna outright say that so we just pretending it could be #goals content] Jimmy: ['should work in a grotto or some bollocks next year, you' not even a pisstake because she's great with kids and swagged that but we'll pretend we are, nods and mimes that he'll record his 😱 reaction, again we probably will but we can pretend we're taking the piss out of Grace's vlogmas vibes] Janis: ['you're the elf' and a face like lord no, do your own 👍 and go inside bitch] Jimmy: ['yeah and I'll have a word' heart hands like love you gal] Janis: [blow a kiss like you're buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: [catch it as you watch her go boy]

[pinkykitten]

I was tagged by @writing-with-melon I hope my answers aren’t complete waste or if time and if so I’m sorry and I love you

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive? 

i dont really have an answer for this. i think i just automatically think about any song ive been listening to recently or any song that has been stuck in my head. 

2.  Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

well i live in a two story house so the kitchen is downstairs and im usually lazy busy so since i have a mini fridge upstairs i just usually get water to drink while im writing. its kinda hard to eat and write cuz i loose focus really easily so when i am writing i am writing! i am in the zone! but if i am a little hungry ill usually snack on candy like chocolate kinder joys i love them but they r so expensive or snack on chips but i get like salt on my fingers or i like cheetos so cheetos dust and that just gets everywhere and later my hands and keyboard kinda smell like fart. 3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

so burnout happens to me a lot so to get inspiration i either read other stories or fanfics which gets my head gears turning or i admire a piece of art or photography or a song. whats so unique and satisfying with writing you can explore and go anywhere with it, hehehe erotic if you know what i mean lol jk there are no barriers with writing just your imagination. there is inspiration any where you go and id advise to never stop writing. even if its a few short sentences or paragraphs about anything even bird poop its still progression and your mind is working and your searching for words like its all good for you bby.  4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts? 

i do ill put the link here. im thinking of changing it though to do something different. 

5. What is your favorite place to write?

lol boring, i know but my room. my room is really bright in the mornings and comfortable and chill and i have a candle of the pandora ride in disney that smells like the ride so its all good and relaxing and super peaceful plus i have a picture of myself the age of like 9 on my desk idk why but it encourages me and makes me focus to make sure i never get that cringy again. 

6. What is a hobby or yous that you usually don’t talk about?

well i like working out HAHAHAHAHA jk that was a joke...get it...cuz i much rather be eatingokillstop. but i really like to draw which i have a art page you can see it if you click here pls look at my failed attempts to be hip and cool with the cool kids and being artsy fartsy. another hobby is i really like to do makeup and nail art, nail art is really tough guys no joke if you do it like you got wizard powers are something. maybe its bc my nails are shorter than pete davidson and ariana grande’s relationship, alright im trying to stop i swear!

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

no i wish though. i always wanted to learn to either play the piano or electric guitar cuz H.E.R looks so cool doing it. 

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

it sucks dont even try me. my sister can barely read it like no wonder nobody wants to steal my signature heck they can’t even read it!

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

ok sit back guys, sniff a nice amount of crack and get ready for the most cringy moment of my life but also a time when i knew i was meant to be *inhale* a fanfic writer. 

so it was elementary school, i think 3rd grade and for my writing assignment we were given a prompt of idk what the heck tbh i think it was like be outside the box and im like ok imma nail this cuz im a weird child and yeah so i got my papers and pencil and i went TO TOWN on this paper. so i wrote two stories. one short story with a picture to go with it and one long story that yeah i buried years ago. so my first story was about a farmer was about that farming life. he had chickens and dairy. so i cant remember if the cheese was spoiled but doesnt matter. anywho these cheese and a chicken were alive like they could talk in the story and i gave them faces, yikes. but the whole story was the farmer was a b*tch and he was trying to eat the chicken and cheese so they hatched a plan to get away from the farmer. they did it successfully and they ran away. yay happy ending my teacher actually liked that one me too and my school mates were thinking what they heck is this girl on i made a story about how me and justin bieber made cookies for Christmas you know. so then my other story i was more proud of this one cuz it was a tone of paper, sorry trees, and this story was about how a female hippo (girl i was all about plus size and thicker girls and no body shaming) and an male ostrich were kidnapped from their own habitats and taken to become circus animals. failed version of Madagascar hey mine was before the circus movie OK THEY STOLE IT FROM MEEEEE. so they get taken and are treated to harsh punishment and the animals can talk and i think its in the point of view of the male ostrich guy thing. they are in the circus and they start to have this relationship happening. love starts blossoming its all good. im happy with this cuz i believed in love at age of 8. they find a way thru a kick butt scene of the animals escaping and the hippo and ostrich are so in love that they run away together and they have half hippo half ostrich babies and i think i named the species  hipstrich or like ostppo idk but i was so proud of this story and when my teacher read it she was worried about me lol i think she thought i might like mate these two animals like secretly idk but she was like it was ok and i was like what this is frickin William Shakespeare writing or like F. Scott Fitzgerald writing. nevertheless it taught me a lesson that nobody else needs to like what im writing the main point and only thing that matters is if your proud of it and you like it and i really did. i will remember that story forever and thats what made me want to be a writer. lol sorry that was a lot. 

10. @emdop I’m going to use this great question: Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible. 

wellllll im working on my peaky blinders oc story its a lot of drugs money killing weapons jewelry rich profanities like its the show but written from my stubby hands so my oc and whatever its great and so excited to show it to you guys. 

MY QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START TUMBLR?

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

3. WHAT QUALITY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OUTFIT?

5. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

7. IF YOU COULD VISIT A PLACE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

8. WHAT SHOW OR MOVIE UNIVERSE WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN?

9. WHAT IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

10. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE IN THIS WORLD THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories, @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms, @naughtyneganjdm, @lenahellgizibe and two random followers @spiritsent, @sucker-for-my-fandoms

i was tagged by @writing-with-melon again ty btw, ps i felt so much pressure lol jk 😊

Rules: Answer 5 questions, Ask 5 questions, Tag 5 people.

1. What is your favorite book?

fifty shades of grey hahaha naw my favorite book is obv you all know this is series of unfortunate events but i never usually cry period and i never cry for books ever so when i read mrs. tom thumb by melanie benjamin, its the part when her sister minnie dies i cried so hard idk it was just emotional the wording the way she described her pain it was so beautiful written yet so sad and that was just amazing to me cuz im like this book made me feel things and im like wow i would love to write a book one day and make someone feel something whether it be sadness anger happiness annoyance anything they are having an emotion and that is super powerful to do that with just words. pls go check out that book its a good read. also im a fan of the greatest showman so i really enjoyed it. there are many other books tho that i thoroughly enjoy so much. 

2. What piece that you’ve written are you most proud of?

oh my god ive always wanted to be asked this question hands down i am always proud of my platonic gender neutral tony stark fic called in·con·sol·a·ble window to me i wrote it so sad and i was feeling like depressed lol when i saw peter die in infinity war like i didnt know what to do with my life tbh but im so glad that @impetrichorny requested it tysm i just like how its not based on romance or fluff or happiness it is based on when you lose someone the nightmares and sadness you go through and that there is nothing nobody can do about it except just be there for that person so i really like writing angst and something that was out of the box. ive been thinking tho of doing a part two since the fate of all the characters has changed after endgame. who knows tho. 

3. What is the last song that inspired you? 

well for art it would have to good news by mac miller when i did that kobe bryant memorial on my art page. i dont want to give it away though but ill just say some very powerful womens music inspired my oc writing and making. 

4. How do you feel about letting people read what you write?

at first i was scared cuz i thought i wrote like trash which that feeling kinda doesnt go away like some days i feel that way others i feel confident or it depends on the request it just depends but anyways i was always insecure about my writing so when i started writing it was more like lets see how this goes if not ill delete the whole page. im glad to say it went great but in the begging it was hard cuz i kept putting myself down but i learned to accept or just understand that you keep learning with writing you always learn knew things with writing how you can explain something better or you words get more intricate and people see the improvement and you do too thats why i applaud those who dont speak english that english isnt their first language. you are doing a tremendous job and keep practicing cuz you’re gonna make it to the top. ive also learned that some days are not my days and you can take time off when youre not feeling it when you have writers block. just recollect your juices sip some tea go to the beach relax your mind a little and take as long as you need to come back and give it your all. also comments and reblogs and likes a follows those meant so much to me and encouraged me. thats why i cant express it enough how much all those mean to writers, artist, photographers, anybody who is truly trying their hard in this area of social media. its makes a person happy smile and confident in their writing but first train your mind into loving what you make not what others thing. you have to be happy with the outcome that is what truly matters and what makes your writing the best. look at me getting philosophical. 

5. Do you get distracted easily? If yes with what?

yes and with porn haha i get distracted easily like very easily homeschooling was really tough for me. music distracts me, netflix, the urge to watch david dobrik or unus annus or buzzfeed unsolved on youtube, heck my farts distract me. i gotta be like troy bolton i gotta get my HEAD IN THE GAME!

MY QUESTIONS:

1. IF YOU COULD BE NAMED SOMETHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE NAMED?

2. WHAT PERSON INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?

3. IF YOU KNEW THE WORLD WAS ENDING TOMORROW WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?

4. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT IN THE SHOWER?

5. WHATS YOUR WEIRD COMBINATION FOOD?

im tagging: @thatlittlered​, @ardentmuse​, @acciosnapes​, @lotsoffandomimagines​, @collecting-stories​ AND WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS IF YOU FOLLOW ME OR LIKE MY STORIES TAG ME ILL READ YOUR ANSWERS. HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MWUAH 

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Coming Home

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 4326

Summary: Simon Snow arrives home from work to his messy, tired, amazing family. Based on "a nap" request.

Read on AO3

AN: So this is the request I misread. I got the number wrong and thought it was first kiss, not nap. But it's all good because I had this idea immediately and it's very fluffy and cute. I love kid fics and always looking for an excuse to write more. Enjoy!

———————————————-

Simon

When I get home, I expect to hear the oven going and Baz’s classical music playing as he cooks. He bragged this morning about trying a brand new roast beef recipe he found online. Ever since staying at home, he’s been obsessed with online cooking videos, even though he’s usually too tired to actually make them. But he was very determined this morning, shouting about it from the other room while was trying to wrestle Tasha into her overalls.

But as I enter the flat, there is zero violin music, or oven whirring, or even baby cries. Wow, this place hasn’t been quiet in eleven months. (Coincidentally the age of our daughter.) Maybe they’re out for a walk. Baz takes Tasha out a lot. He tends to get stir crazy when he’s stuck inside for too long. The trials of a stay at home dad.

“Baz?” I say, very quietly in case Tasha is asleep but just loud enough for Baz to hear. Thank Crowley for a husband with vampire hearing. There’s no answer though. Huh.

I carefully place my bag next to the entrance, then take off my shoes. As I walk down the hall, I navigate around Tasha’s many toys left strewn about. Baz says she gets her messiness from me. I always remind him that she is a baby. I bend my head around the corner into the living room, and my heart instantly melts.

No wonder Baz isn’t in the kitchen. He’s right there, sprawled out on his back on the couch with messy hair and lazy clothes. He’s sleeping very lightly if his rapid eye movement is any clue. His right arm is hanging off the edge with some thick book in it while his other is on his chest. Or more accurately, placed lightly on Tasha’s back as she sleeps on top of him. She’s dressed in that duck onesie she loves so much, laying completely still and snoring softly. She looks like an adorable little freckled bean topped with a mess of tiny black curls. And they look far too adorable for words. I can’t help put snap a picture on my phone. Looks like I’ve got a new lock screen.

I walk over and kneel near his face. I put a piece of hair behind his ear. Apparently, that’s too much, because it startles him awake instantly. He inhales sharply as his eyes fly open, all his muscles tensing. I put a soothing hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, hey,” I whisper, “it’s alright, it’s just me. Tasha’s fine.”

He runs a hand down his face. “Sorry. I was reading and I shouldn’t have fallen asleep with her like this. It’s not safe-”

“Shhh, it’s fine. You’re a light sleeper. If she had moved you would’ve felt it. Besides,” I look at the sleeping baby with a grin, “you two look really cute.”

He sighs, but I can hear his smile. “Thank you. Though I think she’s the more adorable one between the two of us.”

“Hm, I love you, but I have to agree.”

“Aw, I’m so hurt,” he deadpans. He runs a hand up and down her small back. She yawns adorably, shifting against him, flexing her tiny hand. I put my hand under it, and her fingers curl around mine. Aleister Crowley, I never knew my heart could feel so full.

“How was your day?” I ask quietly.

“Quiet,” he replies. “Tasha and I watched some Postman Pat, then we went to the park, where she attempted to eat dirt again.”

“She’s curious.”

“She’s going to get sick.”

“Then luckily her Papa is a wizard, and a very good one.”

He chuckles softly. “True, thank Merlin. Well, after stopping her from eating dirt, she played with that Tyler kid. They still get along very well. Though his mother is also still relentless in her pursuit of me.”

I sigh, instinctively placing a protective/possessive hand on his arm. “I don’t know what else we can tell her. You’ve said you’re gay, and married, and not ever leaving me. She must tune us out to stare at your face.”

“What can I say, Snow? I’m irresistible.”

“Hm, don’t I know it.” I push my nose against his neck, and revel in the sigh Baz lets out. “Did you two have fun though?”

“Yeah, definitely. We usually have fun.” He makes a strange noise, somewhere between wistful and sad. “I can’t believe I’m supposed to go back to work in a month. It’s going to be so...weird.”

“Good weird or bad weird?”

He shrugs, a habit he’s reluctantly picked up from me. “Sort of both. Of course I love being with Tasha, and I’ll worry about her non-stop when she’s not right next to me. But it’ll be nice to talk to actual adults regularly again.”

“You see me everyday. Am I not an actual adult?”

Baz, my wonderful husband, gives me a deadpan look that silently says, “what do you think?” I return a large grin and kiss his cheek. He softens immediately.

“So, no fancy roast beef tonight?”

“Ugh.” His head falls back against the throw pillow. “Yeah, that’s not happening. After the park, Tasha had lunch and passed out on me while I was reading. It was too cruel to move, obviously.”

“Obviously. Want me to whip something together while she keeps resting?”

“No, no, it’s still my turn. And Tasha’s slept the whole afternoon, she’s fine. You take the baby, I’ll make spaghetti.”

“Huh, that rhymes. You’re a poet and you didn’t even know it, love.”

“Yeah, you’re not adult.”

I glare at him, but when he kisses my cheek, I immediately soften. He carefully lifts Tasha as he sits up. She starts to wake, dark blue eyes blinking up at Baz, and I can see the moment she recognises him. I love the little smile she makes.

“Papa,” she coos, reaching out to him, pawing at his face. He grins brightly.

“Good morning, little puff,” he says softly. “You had a nice nap, didn’t you? Yes you did.”

She giggles and grabs his long nose. She’s got a thing for noses, unfortunately. Baz winces when she inevitably grips too hard. He slowly pries her hand off.

“Her strength gives mine a run for it’s money,” he says with amusement and exasperation. “Take her before she tries to rip it off again?”

“Of course.” he passes her off to me. Tasha immediately goes for my nose this time. I try to pull my face away but it’s no use.

“Dada!” she shrieks, then babbles at me in her random made up words.

“Hi, lovely girl. Missed you all day.” I bring her closer, and get a whiff of what’s obviously in her nappy. “Whoo! Someone’s stinky.”

“Ha!” Baz shouts from the kitchen. “I’ve changed two nappies today. Your turn, Snow.”

I flip him off as I pass by with Tasha on my shoulder. She’s trying to gnaw on my shirt. Teething has been a very fun time.

I carefully place Tasha on the changing table. It’s very hard to change her nappy when she keeps trying to eat her own toes. I want to be annoyed, but it’s hard when she’s looking at me with big, beautiful blue eyes.

“Yeah, you’re cute and you know it.” I lean down and blow raspberries on her stomach. She shrieks and giggles, but also grabs my hair a little too hard. I pull away slowly. “Ow, ow. Papa is right, you’re very strong, love. We’ll have to teach you to use your powers for good.”

She burbles and goes back to sucking her own toe. My mobile buzzes in my back pocket, as I’ve been waiting for it to all day. I put a hand on Tasha to keep her steady while I check.

Penelope: Talked to Micah. He’s cool with ur idea. Talked to your vamp?

Simon: Not yet. Will at supper. Check out these cuties I came home to tho <3

Simon: [sent a photo attachment]

Penelope: Awwwww tired puppies huh?

Simon: Pooped from playing at the park and fending off single mums respectively

Penelope: Lol Baz needs “gay and married” tattooed across his forehead.

Simon: Yeah I thought the wedding ring did that

Penelope: Obvs not.

Penelope: It’s midnight here so I’m off to bed. Night Simon!

Simon: Night Pen <3

I pocket my phone and go back to my self-cannibalistic daughter. She’s gnawing on her big toe quite vigorously. I sigh and carefully pull it away from her mouth.

“That’s not gonna work, sweetheart,” I say kindly.

She smiles anyway, because of course she does. Tasha is a very happy kid. I hope she stays so throughout her life, and I’ll make sure she gets the chance. Her childhood is never going to be as scary as mine. It can’t be perfect, of course, but it won’t involve any group homes or super villains or civil wars. I promised her that the day she was born. I’m not ever going to break it.

“Shitty supper is ready!” Baz shouts.

I sigh and do Tasha’s onesie back up. With her on my shoulder, I walk into the dining room to see Baz setting out plates.

“You really shouldn’t swear around her,” I say. “She’s going to pick it up.”

“She’s not even a year old. It’s fine.”

“Fuck!” Tasha chirps right on cue. I give Baz a pointed look. He goes wide eye, then clears his throat and looks down.

“Okay, maybe she’s learning,” he says reluctantly.

I walk up and kiss his ear. He flushes instantly “Of course she is. She’s smart, like her Papa.”

He scoffs, but keeps on blushing. “Smooth, Snow. C’mon, let’s eat.”

Getting Tasha into her high chair is always a production. She’s stubborn and fidgety as anything, and hates being strapped into something so she can’t move. She squirms away from me and hits my face with her small hands.

“Darling, you have to sit in your chair,” I sigh.

“No!” she yells back.

“If you want to eat, you have to sit.”

“No! No no no!”

Crowley, fighting goblins and a chimera is nothing compared to a baby with sharp fingernails. After a lot of slaps and screams and scratches, I finally wrangle her into her chair. She pouts and glares at me. (It’s scary how much she looks like Baz when she does that. She really does learn a lot from him.) I sit down with a heavy sigh. When I look at Baz, he’s smirking as he places down the plates.

“What’s so amusing, Basil?” I ask with a slight edge.

“Just watching you get a taste of your own medicine,” he says, sounding annoyingly smug.

“Oh? And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve finally met someone as stubborn as you; you’re own daughter. And it’s fu- very, hilarious.”

I roll my eyes  “Shut up, arsehole.”

“Language, Snow. For the baby’s sake.” He grins around his fork, pointing his spoon at the eleven month old currently smashing steamed carrots in her mouth.

We eat in companionable silence for awhile. It’s nice, to be quiet and let myself relax. It doesn’t last long though, as Tasha needs help to eat her food. How human babies survive truly amazes me. She only gets about a third of the vegetables and cut up meatballs actually in her mouth. Baz attempts to clean her up and fails miserably.

“There's no use in trying, love. She'll just get dirty again," I say through the spaghetti I'm currently eating.

“I can bloody well try,” he mutters. “Merlin knows I don’t want her to learn your manners.”

“Hey! Not fair!”

“You’re currently talking with your mouth full of pasta, love.”

I wish I could protest that, but I’d have to speak with my mouth full. I settle for a Baz/Tasha style glare. He smiles back. I finish my food before I speak again. I need Baz paying full attention to what I’m saying instead of my poor manners.

“So, Baz, I’ve been talking to Penny-”

“Uh-oh, that’s never good,” he says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes, just like Penny does. “Yeah, yeah, shut up. So she and Micah would really like to take some time off, and American kids are still off school at the end of the month. And since Tasha has never seen Chicago before, maybe we could all go visit them that week.”

Baz raises a brow (he’s so good at that.) “Spend a week in Chicago, huh? So are we going to be the people who bring a baby on an airplane?” He’s smirking with a playful glint in his grey eyes. Bastard. I shrug in the most sarcastic way I can.

“Well, unless you want to leave our eleven month old baby alone with someone while we’re out of the country, Mr. Overprotective, then yes.”

Baz chuckles. “I suppose a trip before I go back to work would be nice. And Bunce keeps saying she wants to see Tasha more.”

“And Tasha wants to see her!” I turn to Tasha with a big grin. “You wanna go see Auntie Penny, huh Tasha? Wanna see Auntie Penny and Uncle Micah and little Lucy and Harold?”

Tasha shrieks excitement. She jumps up and down and burbles, spraying vegetables and meat everywhere. I’m not sure she fully understands (Baz knows more about child development than me) but I like seeing her smile anyway. Even if she gets half chew green bean on my face.

“I think we’re all in agreement then,” Baz says as he flicks carrot off his cheek.

“Wonderful! I’ll text Penny tomorrow.” I lean in to Tasha, tickling her stomach. She giggles and pushes at my hands. “We’re going to Chicago, Tasha!”

Tasha claps happily, mushing more food between her fingers.

“She’s going to need a bath, huh?”.

“M-hm.” Baz starts cleaning up everyone’s plates. “I made dinner, so have fun with that.”

I sigh. Baz keeps grinning smugly. He’s such a bastard, and I love him so much. I unstrap Tasha from her high chair. “C’mon, darling, time for a bath. Let’s try not to get Daddy completely soaked this time, alright?”

She giggles and starts playing with my hair, yelling in her usual baby gibberish as she gets me just as filthy as her. I hear Baz snort from behind me. I promptly flip him off.

“Don’t do that,” I whisper to Tasha. “Not until you’re older. I’m teaching you very bad habits, aren’t I?”

“Dada,” Tasha burbles with her big baby grin. She wraps her arms around her neck, hugging me close. She likes hugging and physical affection in general. Baz says she gets it from me.

Maybe I’m teaching her bad habits, but I’m teaching her good ones too. Guess that’s parenthood.

———————————————-

“And they all lived happily ever after,” I say, closing the book. “The end.”

“Again!” Tasha yells. It’s become her favourite word. We finish playing on the swings or reading a story or watching a show, it’s always “again.” She’s just a very excitable kid.

“Sweetheart, it’s bedtime.” I lift her up from my lap and walk towards the crib. She squirms as I place her down.

“No!” And that’s her second favourite word. Baz mentioned yesterday that most babies her age usually don’t even have her limited vocabulary, so Tasha’s language is advanced. He said that with a very pleased expression.

“Yes, Tasha.”

“Noooooo!”

I sigh and leave her there to scream a bit, let her get it out of her system. But when I turn off the overhead and the night light on, she immediately stops. It projects stars and moons across the ceiling. Tasha loves it. She coos and reaches out to try to touch them. I stand over the crib, just looking at her wide, curious blue eyes. I wonder what it would be like to see through those eyes. To see everything as new and beautiful. Baz says I’m sappy. I say I’m curious, just like her.

“Night night, darling,” I whisper, kissing her forehead. “Love you.”

Tasha yawns, then her head lolls to the side. I take one last look before walking out.

Baz is sitting on our bed with his book when I enter. He doesn’t look up from it though as he doesn’t need to.

“She’s asleep?” he asks quietly.

“For now,” I reply, flopping next to him with my arm over his waist. “Knowing Tasha she’ll be up in half an hour crying for a bottle.”

“Hm, very true.” He carefully closes his book and places it on his bedside table. I have my eyes closed, but I can feel him put his arm around me. His other hand plays with my hair. He feels a bit cold like always, but I don’t mind. I run hot even without my magic. So being next to him cools me down, and I warm him up. We’re perfect for each other in that way, along with others.

“I’ve been thinking,” he whispers.

“Uh oh,” I mutter, “that’s never good.”

“I’m not plotting, Snow. I haven’t ‘plotted’ since we were teenagers.”

“No, but you tend to get lost in your big head.” I tap his forehead for emphasis. “It can get scary up there.”

He chuckles, his breath brushing against my skin. “Don’t I know it.” He holds me a bit tight and it makes me worried. “To be more specific, I’ve been thinking about my mother. What with the anniversary coming up and everything,”

My eyes fly open. Oh shit. I scoot up so we’re face to face. Baz’s face looks impassive, but I’ve been with him for over ten years, and I’ve known for even longer. I can see that it’s just an attempt to hold back the sadness and anxiety he’s feeling.

“Right. It’s next week.”

“Yes, it is,” he sighs. “It’s been awhile since the anniversary has felt this looming. But I’ve been thinking about her a lot this year. And not just because we named Tasha after her. I wonder a lot if she thought the same things about me I think about Tasha. If she’s feeling okay, if she’s healthy, if I’m messing her up too much.”

“Baz.” I hold his chin, making him look me right in the eye. “You’re not messing Tasha up, I promise.”

He chuckles and pulls my hand away, shaking his head. “No no, I probably am. Father says every parent fucks up their child. It’s just the degree that varies. Daphne concurred. My mother probably would’ve said the same thing.”

I humph, gripping his hand tightly. The metal of his wedding ring is a ressuaring feeling against my skin. “Well, I think you’re doing a wonderful job.”

His face softens, half his mouth pulled up. And I consider that a victory. “Thank you, love.”

I lean up and kiss him, because he looks so cute and I bloody well need to now. Plus I haven’t kissed him since I got home. That’s a wrong I can’t let stand. He curls his hand around my cheek, cradling me like I’m special. I suppose I am though, special to him. That thought just makes me kiss him harder. He holds my other cheek as I roll on top of him. He pushes up my shirt and I go for his trousers.

Then Tasha starts wailing.

Baz and I both pull away with heavy sighs. Penny warned us that babies destroy sex lives and we didn’t believe her. But she was right, as usual.

“I’ll get her,” he says. “You get the bottle?”

“Yeah, will do. Pick this up later?” I smirks, and he copies me.

“We’ll see. Now get off me, please.”

“As you wish.”

I roll off him (reluctantly) and scoot to the edge. One big stretch later, I’m walking down the hall with Baz. He turns off at Tasha’s room while I go to the kitchen. Heating up the bottle is easy enough. I’ve done it a lot over the past year, so it takes just five minutes. But by the time I get to Tasha’s room, Tasha is mostly calm again. Baz is rocking her back and forth in the chair. He’s softly singing some lullaby as she whimpers.

“There there,” he whispers, “you’re alright, little puff.”

She hiccups and curls into him. I walk in and sit on the chair arm, lifting the bottle up to Tasha. She drinks it happily. I place my cheek on Baz’s hair. I feel Baz’s other hand on my knee.

“Y’know,” he whispers, “I can’t help but also wonder what my mother think of us right now. What would happen if she got to meet Tasha.”

I lean a bit closer. “I know what happen.”

“Oh really? You can see other realities now, Snow?”

“No, but I can imagine. She’d be here all the time, cooing over Tasha, helping us out, giving us unsolicited parenting advice because she was as much of a know-it-all as you.” He lets out a scoffing chuckle, because he knows it’s true. “And, she’d be really proud of you. For how you’re taking care of Tasha and the life you’ve built.”

He doesn’t answer. He reaches up to Tasha’s face and fiddles with one of her small curls, wrapping it around one of his bony finger. The exact same way he’s been doing with my hair for years. It’s incredibly sweet.

“You’re doing good, Baz,” I say firmly, “don’t ever doubt that.”

“Your grammar is still atrocious at 32, Snow,” he whispers with absolutely no contempt, then kisses my cheek. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, darling.”

“I love you.”

I lean in closer, putting one hand on Baz’s and the other on Tasha’s side. I never had a family growing up, and I never thought I’d get one, yet here I am. It’s certainly what I expected, but it’s all mine. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“I love you, too.”

———————————————-

“Good morning, Simon!” Christine chirps. “What happened to you?”

Christine doesn’t give me the courtesy of letting my eye bags and dishevelled hair go without comment. She’s not great at ignoring problems, hence why she’s a good social worker.

“Baby was up at 3am,” I sigh. “I decided to be a good husband and let Baz sleep. I’m currently paying for it.”

“Yeah, your face make me glad I don’t have kids.”

I glare while Christine keeps grinning. She holds up a cup of coffee though and I soften. Whoever has caffeine is my God right now. I take a deep drink and sigh.

“Thank you, Chrissy.”

“Welcome, Simon. How is your little hellspawn doing anyway?”

“She’s good. Almost a year old now and cute as anything. Look what I came home to last night.” I pull out my phone and press the lock button. Chrissy sighs because she's used to it. Yes, I’m that annoying person who has a hundred pictures of their kid and spouse and shows them off to my boss. And right on the lock screen are Baz and Tasha fast asleep together.

“Awwwww,” Chrissy coos, only slightly sarcastic. “What sweeties.”

“I know right? They’re adorable. Also, I gotta ask you something.” She gives me a curious look. “Can I have the last week of the month off?”

“May I ask why?”

“Well, Baz’s leave is up next month. We want to do something before he’s back at work and Tasha goes to daycare. My best friend is in Chicago, so we were thinking we’d go see her and her kids that last week.”

“Ah, I see,” Christine chuckles. “You’re sneaky, Mr. Snow-Pitch. Showing me your adorable husband and daughter to butter me up for vacation time? Diabolical.”

“Hey! That’s not-”

“Sure it wasn’t.” She flashes a knowing smile at me, even though she’s wrong. (Well, she’s half wrong.) “Lucky for you, it worked. You’ve got the last week of August off. Go see your friend and frolic with your family.”

“Thank you, Chrissy!”

She waves at me dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. Just try to wrap up most of your work before you leave. Don’t want to have to fob off too many cases on others while you’re gone.”

“Will do, don’t worry.”

I watch her go into office as I take my desk. Once she’s out of sight, I take out my phone and shoot off a quick test.

Simon: Got the time off. Book the plane tickets!

Baz: Will do.

Baz: Tasha says hi.

Baz: [sent a video attachment]

I put in one earbud and open the video. It’s of Tasha, of course. I can hear Baz’s voice from behind the camera.

“Can you say hi to Daddy, Tasha?” he says. “Come on, say hi.”

Tasha looks up, blinking at it in confusion, probably thinking; that’s not Daddy, that’s Papa holding a little black box. Soon she smiles and reaches out towards it. Her pudgy little baby fingers nearly touch the lens.

“Papa,” she says.

“No no, say ‘hi’ to Daddy. You can do it. Hi. Hi!”

“Hi!” She finally chirps. “Hi hi hi!”

Baz laughs kindly and reaches out to ruffle her hair. “There you go. Good job, sweetie.”

I watch Baz’s arm scoop up Tasha. The camera switches to the front. Baz is smiling in that way he only does around Tasha and me. It’s bright and beautiful and could probably melt ice. And he calls me the sun. Tasha is burbling in gibberish, reaching towards the camera and pulling on Baz’s hair.

“Have fun at work, love,” he says. “We’ll see you when you get home.”

The video ends, freezing on my grinning husband and baby. I take a screenshot. I need a main screen phone background too. I don’t care if some people think it’s obnoxious, I want to see my family all the time. My family. The strange amazing one I always want to come home to.

Simon: See you two later <3

———————————————-

AN: Awwwww what an adorable family. I always believe that Simon and Baz would have kids and they'd be very good parents. And their kid would be a bit of nightmare because all kids are nightmares haha.

So you guys are awesome and sent me a bunch more requests. I can't wait to get to them, but just be warned I start full time work this weekend (kill me blech) so it may take awhile. I will get to them though with my free time, and I'll keep accepting new ones until the end of August. Thanks so much for the requests though. I love getting them and writing for them :) Have an awesome day everyone!

[celestialcirce]

Hacked items receiving trouble and fixes

So, I guess you CAN have a bit of trouble with hacked acnl items even if you're just receiving them. A small story + guide to an error that I haven’t seen much of online.

This is not to scare you, but to help you in case it happens to you too. My game is back to working fine and my save is okay as well. So, no worries, you should be fine too. Here is what happened, the solution that worked, and a few of the other solutions that have been suggested to me because they might work as well!

Does this screen (lovingly surnamed “Black Screen of Death”) suddenly appear on your 3DS after launching New Leaf and keep you from loading your game, and only this game? I may have a few possible fixes for you! Click Read More and prepare yourself for a long one!

(image via technobuffalo.com) 

MY SPECIFICS

I'm using an old EU 3DS XL, and a digital copy of ACNL. I'm on the latest firmware available (as of Jan 2018) and the 1.5 welcome amiibo update was properly installed about a year ago. I do not 'hack' this game and have never used homebrew on this (or any) 3DS.

WHAT HAPPENED

I picked up items I've requested from a helper via wifi. The items weren't anything special (amiibo furniture & clothes and a couple crowns) and the town I picked them up from was hacked, but I was in there for a maximum of two minutes and only saw the train station’s plaza and a few bushes (which weren't where they're supposed to, but I've seen way worse in dream towns without any problems).

When I got back to my town, everything was working as usual, but it seems that's where it started to go wrong in the system (I'll explain later why). I did a bunch of stuff, loaded another character, etc. I was able to save and quit, then I turned off my console the proper way and went about my day.

When I came back to my game about an hour later, I encountered an error. It happened as follows: I powered on the 3DS, the home menu loaded, and I pressed A to launch the game. After that the N3DS animation came up on the top screen as usual, but cut the end just a bit to show a black screen. The top screen was completely black while the bottom screen read in a white font on black background (in french for me obv, but I found pictures of the same error on US consoles): 

“an error has occurred. Hold down the POWER button to turn off the power, then turn it on and try again. 

If the problem persists, please contact your local customer support centre. For contact details, check the operations manuals or visit support.nintendo.com”. 

(I put the picture of this error message at the top so you can see it before having to read this Narnia-sized novel)

I obeyed the screen and did the hard reset, and tried again. Once. Twice. Seven times. Still, the screen was popping up. I tried launching another game to try and determine who’s at fault here, and did not encounter any error, so New Leaf clearly didn’t want to cooperate.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

Before even requesting these hacked items, I had done a lot of research to make sure nothing bad could happen. While finding absolutely nothing was reassuring then, it now meant that I was on my own to fix this.

I started looking online for the specific error without hacking conditions and the possible fixes. After a while of googling, I came across a pretty old Nintendo fans message board in which someone asks how to fix the same error I encountered, only theirs happened a few days after updating their game to welcome amiibo. A moderator answered that the update can mess up if it detects items you’re not supposed to have through regular gameplay (implying that the OP hacked in items and didn’t specify it), and suggested to repair the update from the eShop. (turns out the mod was 12 and smarter than me so well done)

THE SOLUTION

So let’s repair our update! Since my console is in French and yours probably isn’t, I’m not going to pain you with my guessed translation of every option. Here are the steps from the Nintendo Website. 

1.On the HOME menu, select the Nintendo eShop icon.

2.Once the Nintendo eShop loads, select the "Menu" icon from the top-left of the touch screen, and then scroll down through the list and select "Settings / Other."

3.Under the "History" section, select "Redownloadable Software”.

4."Select "Your Downloads", located in the bottom right corner.

5. Scroll through the list of titles to find the software you'd like to check for repair, and then click "Software Info". (NB: Here you’re trying to find the update. Usually the game and the update are just above each other, you can tell them apart by their name and size)

6. Scroll down to the bottom of the page and tap "Repair Software," and then tap "OK". This process will check the download data for errors. The time it takes to check for errors will vary depending on the size of the software being checked. (about 10 minutes for me)

7. You will receive a prompt stating the software check was complete. Tap "OK", followed by "Download" to initiate the repair process. The repair process will download the software again without overwriting the software's save data. (NB: The message on your console at this point might also warn you that it could still erase your save data, mine did) Download time will vary depending on the software being repaired. (Big 30 min for me)

8. When finished, click "Continue" to return to the software info page.

So I did the ritual, said the magic words, called upon the gods. Let’s see if it worked. (If you tried this and it didn’t solve your problem, there are a few other possible fixes a bit lower. Look for the next bold title)

I load the home menu, start the game. The N3DS logo appears as I'm holding my breath. Finally, the logo disappears and leaves room to the beautiful train loading animation! Yaaay! We've done it. I can see Freya leaving her house as the Animal Crossing logo is appearing, hiding her face. My save is there, too! Let's see if everything’s in place.

Now, here's the weird part. It seems the game stopped working, or at least saving properly, long before I was actually made aware of it. Everything I did after the automatic save at the end of the wifi session to pick up my items seems to have vanished.

After that I tested a bunch of stuff to make sure everything was back to normal. The hacked items are there and working fine. I put the furniture in my house, wore the outfits, sent some of them in the mail to my other character. I saved and quit a bunch of times, every time turning off the console in between. Everything seems to be back in order and working as it did before.

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

We all know many things can cause the same problem and as such, the same problem may require different fixes. Here is what I have been suggested:

Sometimes it’s just a random thing and it never happens again. Obey the screen and restart your 3DS, it might just be this once.

Make sure you are using the latest firmware available. I know, it’s a pain to update, but it could very well solve all your problems. Update your firmware if needed.

You can also try and change your console system’s date back to the last time it worked without any issue. So if yesterday you played and everything was fine, change your 3DS’ date to yesterday. I have no clue why this works, but it was suggested to me and upon research it turns out it can solve a bunch of problems.

Check if your SD card is working properly. Turn off the 3DS and take the SD card out, inspect it (gently), maybe use the good ol’ Blow on it™ method. Put it back in the console and try launching your game again.

IN THE END

In conclusion, the lesson I have learned here is that it might be better to get a digital copy over a physical one if you can (although in New Leaf's case the update would still be on the SD card if your cartridge is from a time before welcome amiibo, so you could repair it as well).

But then again, maybe the SD card was at fault in this case and it could have been avoided by using a cartridge. Sooo... I guess there’s no lesson to learn in the end. Sorry kids. I hope I may have helped you with this!

[pisati]

I’m trying not to get too annoyed with my coworkers but... this shit isn’t hard.

my head receptionist is honestly getting on my nerves. we don’t work the same shifts anymore, usually, but occasionally we’ll open together. and often times she’ll just do the labs that come in, sometimes send the online checkin forms, maybe do the next-day surgery paperwork, meanwhile I’m taking care of the emails, usually the voicemails, the scans, the faxed script requests, and checking the meds that got filled the night before. she can be kind of self-important and that gets in the way of work too. like, I get it, you’ve been in animal care basically since you left high school, you’ve been a receptionist for 8 years, you act like this job is your life, but then you go and act like the work is beneath you? the work is the work, dude. she does have to do manager-y things, like taking care of health certificate things, taking care of money stuff and collections calls, and she makes the schedules, but that’s what happens when you’re experienced. you have more job responsibilities. when we’re opening together I get the vibe that she gets annoyed having to take incoming calls. she’ll leave me up front to help in the back; sometimes she’ll restrain a pet for someone because in the mornings usually there’s only one doctor and their two assistants. but that leaves me up front, by myself. I’ve ended up checking in all the drop-offs before while she’s just doing some highlighting on paperwork. 

and I’m honestly pissed that I got pulled into a meeting with the head vet and lead receptionist back in april because I apparently wasn’t performing adequately for how long I’d been there. I’ve talked to my new coworker about this and she feels the same-- we weren’t trained properly. things weren’t explained to us well before we were left more unsupervised, so of fucking course I dropped the ball so much. I had to figure a lot of how the hospital works on my own. but that’s not what’s upsetting-- it’s that I’ve watched both the head and lead receptionists make mistakes that got me pulled into a meeting, and they just get someone complaining about it and that’s it. I don’t care that they’ve been there so long, it just means they should know better.  there was one day the doctor I thought hated me and thought I was incompetent (until I finally had a minute to talk to her and apologize for something I guess?) got so mad at the lead receptionist because she had booked a quintuple appointment that ended up backing up her whole day. 5 pets at once in and of itself isn’t a major issue, but what the doctor was mad about was how it was booked. when we book regular, 1-pet doctor appointments, we block them off for 40 minutes. if it’s a double, depending on the client, we’ll usually book off a 60 minute block, 30 for each pet. some clients are chatty or have a lot of questions, or they’re just special, so sometimes it ends up being 40 minutes per pet; you just have to know who you’re booking and which doctor you’re booking with, and that took me a while to learn. but multi-pet appointments typically are 30 minutes per animal. I’ve only ever booked a triple at most. this was five pets and they were booked for 20 minutes each. you can’t do full exams, shots, bloodwork, so on and so forth on five pets in that short a time. I was there, the lead receptionist was not, so I got the brief earful from the doctor (not directed at me obvs, but I understood her frustration). but something like that would’ve gotten me pulled into another meeting. the lead receptionist has booked rechecks as technician appointments too, which you’re not supposed to do unless the doctor OKs it. just. shit like that. she should know better. 

and when I started I was told to look at the appointment notes when people came in-- I see “NCNP” (new client, new patient) on an appointment and my instinct is to grab the new client paperwork. I’ve been going through the physical files and I’ve been doing a LOT of our wellness plan contracts, and it annoys me to hell and back when there’s a pop-up alert AND I put notes right at the top of the appointments, sometimes in capital letters, to have the owner sign such-and-such form, and they don’t fucking give anyone the paperwork. I hate coming in later in the day to see that things from the morning hadn’t been done-- there was one owner I needed new client paperwork from who was right there and did we get it? no. I end up taking care of notes left in our worklist from the head receptionist to send wellness plan contracts via docusign to owners that were literally just in; they could have just printed the contracts and had them sign them while they were there. a lot of the ones sent on docusign don’t even get looked at, not to mention we only have so many we’re allowed to send before we get charged extra. the one surgery we had today had a follow-up for needing a signed copy of her wellness plan agreement on file, and did it get signed? no. they had one pet to do the monday surgery paperwork for on saturday. they could have done what I did today: upon seeing the same follow-up for a surgery we have coming in tomorrow I printed out a copy of the contract and put it in with the papers that need to be signed. it’s not. fucking hard. I don’t care if you have extra responsibilities as a head receptionist, you don’t get to be lazy about the “menial” work because that’s still part of your damn job, even if it’s to a lesser extent. she doesn’t check the reception worklist terribly often either, which is annoying as hell when there’s things she could easily take care of that end up becoming my problem later in the day. 

I don’t dislike doing scans or faxes or checking meds, but I do dislike doing literally all of them when I’m working with other people. honestly I feel like I’m the one doing all of them period. they haven’t trained the new receptionist very well, probably less well because she’s worked at another clinic before, and honestly I don’t think she knows what to do with a lot of the scans and records and such. she knows where the checkin sheets go, but like... for example, days like today I come in and they give me the brief rundown of the morning. it was busy, the phone calls ended up not really slowing down until after 5, and I understand when things are crazy like that you’re just trying to stay on top of taking care of the calls. the surgery paperwork didn’t get done for the next day, usually that’s a morning thing, but I did that later. it happens. I was told the new girl was kind of taking care of the emails, but of course the phones didn’t stop so they piled up. but when I looked, I got most of it taken care of in a few minutes. I’ve noticed the new girl doesn’t usually touch emails that have records from ER visits or specialist notes, so I’m not convinced they taught her what to do with those. and it’s not hard-- I actually really like those emails, because you just have to download the files and that’s it. nothing to respond to, no message to pass along to a doctor or tech (I mean, besides the records themselves; we pass along those records to the doctors to review). we have a folder called MyScans which is where the scanner sends the PDF files once they’ve been scanned in, and I just use that folder as a catch-all for things that need to be attached to charts. today there was a lot. morning checkin sheets had been scanned in but not labeled or attached, which is fine. I scanned a few more, downloaded a few records, and the scans list was considerable. but in 10-15 minutes I had everything labeled and was able to attach all of them-- between calls of course, so it’s hard to measure how much time I actually spent on it. maybe it’s because that’s the one thing I was able to do when I started, and since that ‘menial’ work became mine so the others could do other things I’m just really quick at it, but I’ve had crazy mornings and still been able to get a handle on most everything by the time the closing shift people came in. it was a 3-person day today too, so I closed by myself. by the time the mid-shift person left, I had done all the confirmation calls, the surgery calls, done all the surgery paperwork, made the calendar for the next day, finished all the bullshit fake future appointments for everyone that came in today just before close, and because the last appointment was out 20 minutes before close I was able to close out the money stuff and just be done by a few minutes after 7. and that’s on top of doing all the fucking scans, all the faxes, labeling and attaching all the files, calling owners for such-and-such reason, answering calls... how is it that I can do almost literally fucking everything and still manage to keep up? while the head receptionist acts like it’s so hard and so stressful doing what she does. meanwhile (my new coworker mentioned this today too) half the time we go to the back and she’s in the office with the practice manager laughing about something or other; they’re talking and looking at instagram a good bit of the time, and while the head receptionist does do our social media stuff... she still can’t get our next month’s schedule out to us until literally the last day of the current month? with how busy she supposedly is doing management shit? today one of the doctors and his assistant on that appointment were looking for his puppy patient, and she’d taken the puppy into the office to hold her and take pictures; she went out into the hall in treatment holding her and I heard the doctor half-jokingly go “you can’t just steal my patients...” but like. I’m up front answering the nonstop phones and scanning shit and doing things for the doctors and I’ve got 3 things on my plate at once all day and you get to just wander around with a puppy you took from her exam room and hang out in the office?

I really should ask for a raise.

I get that I’ve only been there for a year and she’s been in the business for 8 years, but that honestly just seems unfair to me. I get that she’s got more responsibilities than I do, and honestly I’m glad I’m not the one making the collections calls. but I’d understand if, given her greater responsibilities, she could only do like. a fraction of the ‘menial’ shit I do. but she acts like it’s beneath her, and things just go sitting for hours until I can get to them because it was “too busy”. sure. yet somehow I can still manage it. and I have time to check the worklist and see things from the night before that should have been taken care of either the night before or that morning, if I couldn’t get to them at night or if they were entered after I left. 

and I’m trying to be understanding with the new girl, because this hospital is honestly really fast-paced compared to the one she was at before, and I didn’t even have experience when I started so I can only imagine all the things I fucked up on my first few months. but also... she’s worked at a clinic before. she’ll leave clients on hold for a really long time, take her time after putting them on hold, sometimes even explain the situation to me or whoever else is up front (if it’s a question I can answer, fine, whatever, but when I get a brief rundown and tell her exactly who to go to, sometimes I’ll have to tell her more than once before she gets up to find that person)... and while I appreciate that she does well with the notes for herself on sticky notes, she manages to fall far enough behind on all of it that she ends up staying 30-45 minutes after her shift is supposed to end because “I just need to finish entering my notes”. I’ve tried to gently nudge her to enter notes as things happen, and if something interrupts you, just write a note to yourself to get right back to it... because I’ve had a number of occasions already where someone will call, she’ll talk to them and not put anything in the computer but she “has a note for herself to get to it”, and then maybe 20 minutes to an hour later we’ll get another call, either from the same person or someone related to the case, and we have no idea what was talked about, because she still hadn’t gotten to entering it yet. there was one last week, and I was lucky I happened to have listened to a part of her conversation with an owner-- they had given us permission to release info to rescues because they were trying to adopt a new pet, and the rescues often do vet checks just to make sure the people they’re adopting their animals out to are responsible pet owners. we just can’t release the info until we get permission from the owner. well I heard part of that call, and maybe 20 minutes later I answered a call from a rescue asking about this owner; opened up the profile, didn’t see any alert (usually we put the “owner gives permission” note in an alert that pops up when you open their profile), but I remembered the call she was on and asked if it was that owner. she said yes, so I proceeded with the call, but like... come on. that’s not something you need to put on a sticky note to get back to later, you can literally enter the alert while you’re on the phone with the owner. that way it’s done and it doesn’t sit on your to-do list all day, and that way when the rescue inevitably calls 20 minutes after the owner does, whoever answers that call knows they don’t have to call the owner and ask for permission. if I hadn’t heard part of that call and thought to ask the other girl if that was the owner she’d spoken to, I probably would have done just that, and looked like an idiot to the owner because she had literally just called us. that was luckily an innocuous one, but sometimes we have owners going back and forth with us and specialists, sometimes we have owners asking questions or ordering meds and those need to be taken care of today, and we get multiple calls about it, but the notes haven’t been entered... like, you can’t just leave that shit for later. we’re working in a live, time-sensitive environment. we’re working as a team. not everyone is aware of what everyone else is doing in the hospital, that’s why we rely so heavily on the computer. we enter notes and we enter them quick, that way if someone calls and talks to someone else, they can see the previous interactions right there. no guesswork. we don’t have the time to go looking for whoever talked to this person and asking them what was said; that’s how you end up behind. today her shift ended at 5 and she didn’t leave until almost 6 because her notes weren’t done. I’m still doing at least 95% of the scans and taking care of pretty much all of the emails, and that’s the bulk of what the job is outside of phone calls after the morning. and yet I manage to log all my conversations as they happen, get everything attached where it should be, leave notes for the appropriate people, and get out on time. and corporate really doesn’t want to pay us overtime, so it annoys me too when she’ll sit there while I’m doing three things at once and talk about her personal life, like.. don’t you have notes to finish? instead of letting it keep you half an hour late? I do enjoy the conversation, I like that we can be personable with each other at this job, she’s a sweet girl and she means well... but there’s a time and place for it, and that’s when there’s absolutely nothing left to do. or when the only things that need doing are, like, labeling and attaching checkin sheets, or something like my side project. I can talk and do those things at the same time.

like, this was my first hospital environment, and I’ve still never had lists of things to get back to later. I mean... not “things” like conversations to log; I’ve had lists of automatic payments I need to set up, or foods I need to set aside for an owner, or a call I need to make eventually. maybe I was just trained well when I was in my research lab back in school-- we were taught to log everything in the database. every phone call, every email; I remember even once writing an email to my professor at home on my own time and after hitting send, immediately feeling like I needed to open the database and log it. it was just an instinct. I’m not always the best at it at this hospital, but I’m trying to be better about it. but I do know that if I don’t put it in right after it happens or if I don’t put it on a sticky note to get right back to it after I’ve been interrupted with something else, I’m going to forget. and inevitably someone will talk to that person about something at some point later that day, and if they don’t know about my interaction with them, it could be confusing or lead to miscommunication or something. I don’t know how she just doesn’t have that same sense of urgency. things do pile up, and fast, but working in a hospital before, you should already have a sense of your priorities. things that are not pressing: bullshit fake future appointments, labeling and attaching checkin sheets, scanning and attaching things from the day that have already been taken care of (like faxed script requests) next-day surgery paperwork, printing and highlighting the next-day schedule. if there really is no free time, those can be put off til the end of the night and taken care of after close. things that are slightly pressing: entering prescription and food requests (though MOST of the time those can be done on the phone with the client), checking meds that have been brought up from pharmacy, faxing prescription requests, etc., logging ER visits, specialist notes, and radiology/histopathology results when those come in (unless the results were sent out for stat review, or unless they show something that needs to be brought to someone’s attention. stat reports were sent out stat because they wanted results while the patient is there, so those need to go right to the doctor). things that are pressing: confirmation calls for next-day appointments (when it’s that time of the day), confirming surgery appointments and giving pre-surgical instructions (because sometimes you are what determines whether a pet will come in properly fasted or whether they’ll need to reschedule because the owner or the babysitter or whoever didn’t know not to give food after midnight), logging client interactions and making notes to put in the appropriate lists so they are brought to the right people’s attention in a timely manner, checking emails and downloading attachments, attaching those to charts if they’re urgent. things that are immediately pressing: phone calls, checking in and checking out clients. there are exceptions to those levels of importance, but you have to have the common sense to recognize when something is more immediately pressing than something else. there was one day when the new girl was saying that she’d finish up her notes and then start on future appointments, meanwhile I was backlogged taking care of the things she didn’t know how to do on top of the things I normally do; the next-day confirmation calls still needed to be done, so I tried to gently emphasize that those calls were more important; yeah corporate wants us to make those bullshit appointments but they can wait. honestly sometimes I wonder where her priorities are. for having worked in a vet hospital environment before... shouldn’t you know these things? she’s been with us for a few months now, that’s plenty of time to recognize that future appointments can be done after close if they need to be, and sometimes they’re a good time filler at the end of the night when the last doctor is running behind and you’re just waiting for them to finish up. confirmation calls... kind of need to be done. usually that’s a morning thing, but they’ve become a mid-day/early evening thing now that we’re sending online checkin forms; we like to wait for those to come in, because if an owner has sent it back we mark them as confirmed. fewer calls to do.

I just. ugh. I haven’t complained in a while I guess. I’m annoyed that the head receptionist put me on 3 saturdays this month too, when she had me on 3 saturdays last month. I will have had two weeks with two consecutive days off in the last 6-8 weeks at least. I will have gotten two saturdays off in two months. meanwhile the head receptionist gave herself 3 weekends off this month. I don’t remember how many it was last month, but it was at least 2. I was told (and the new receptionist was told) that it would be basically alternating saturdays. the new girl got 3 weekends off last month too. 

I get that the head receptionist has MS. I know it’s hard for her with the pain and insomnia and MS hug and everything else MS comes with. but just because I don’t have a diagnosis... that doesn’t mean I’m not struggling too. I have pain and fatigue too. and she knows this, we’ve had many a chronic-illness-struggle-bus talk when we work together. I spend a LOT of my off-time crashing and recovering from having to be “on” like 6 days of the week. and even my one off-day at a time doesn’t feel like off time, because I end up piling errands and chores into it and I don’t actually get much rest. when I crash it’s like my battery dipped to 5% and I need to nap to get back to 20%. my last crash nap, I realized I’d finally gotten tired enough to crash but when I woke up I was just back to “normal” tired, which still involved yawning til I cried. even our closing doctor today asked how I was doing after close, because apparently I’ve been looking more tired than usual. I told him, well, about as well as can be expected, since they have me on almost every day of the fucking week, most saturdays for the last two months and now this one apparently, I can’t afford therapy anymore, and my body is falling apart. not in quite so many words, but you know.

---

and two days later...

yesterday wasn’t great. today was better but also not great. yesterday I ended up staying until just past 9 because things got so backlogged during the day. the surgery and drop-off paperwork for today hadn’t been done, none of the stupid fake future appointments had been made all day (but thankfully one of the techs helped me with that), and I had scans and file attachments sitting in that one folder all day that needed to be labeled and attached. the confirmation calls needed to be done and I ended up doing them around 5-6pm after handling like.. everything else. the new receptionist stayed almost 40 minutes after her shift to finish her notes yet again, while I was scrambling to stay on top of literally everything else. same with today, but it was only like 15 minutes. she kind of tried to start on confirmation calls after she’d already gone like 10 minutes over but I told her not to worry about it; there weren’t all that many that needed to be done and she’s already staying late for no real reason almost every day. I don’t want it to be on me that she’s getting overtime. because corporate doesn’t want to pay us fucking overtime.

yesterday just.. I don’t know what she’s doing all day that she ends up so behind while I’m doing at least 90% of all the other work. I get that when it’s one phone call after another it’s hard to keep coming back to things, but somehow I make it work. I’m not staying a half hour after my shift ends to write in my client contacts, they’re already done. I’ll take notes on a sticky note sometimes when I’m talking to the owner, sometimes if it’s just a PR call I’ll type it up in the window while I’m on the phone and edit after the call. but literally as soon as that call ends I’m entering in my client contact note. I type it up fast, I get it to whomever’s attention I need to, and I move on. if I get interrupted, I keep my sticky note so I remember to get back to it. I’ve been doing that since I started, and this is my first job as a vet receptionist. this isn’t her first rodeo, like.. what was she doing at her other clinic? if I’m backed up at the end of my shift, it’s because I put off the less pressing things and once the phones are turned over I finally have uninterrupted time to just get it done. but unless someone called or emailed at 6:59pm none of what I’m doing is entering client contacts.

last night just sucked. I didn’t mean to stay that late, and I probably wouldn’t have if a few of the techs and I didn’t have a mini bitch session (tbh, much needed). when I went to leave, there was a huge semi truck parked diagonally across the part of the parking lot where we all park, had its ramp down and everything delivering stuff to the 7-11 that shares our building, and I really thought for a minute that I was blocked in. after staying 2 hours late, that was the last thing I needed. but thankfully they parked with the cab JUST far enough away from this van that’s always parked in the end spot that I was able to back out of my spot and squeeze between them. 

then as I was crossing the intersection I hate to get home (it’s crossing a major highway, and people literally always run the red light so it scares me sometimes to cross it), someone in a huge SUV decided to round the corner and slide over to the left, into my lane, without looking and without a turn signal. thankfully I learned to drive in this area so I’ve taught myself to expect stupid shit from literally everyone all the time, so I already had my hand on my horn the second I saw them round the corner. in my trying to move away from them, I’m sure I scared the poor person in the lane to my left who had just crossed the intersection with me. I’m just glad nobody got hit, again the last thing I would’ve needed last night.

and then after all this I came upstairs to change, closed my curtains... and I thought to myself that something smelled weird. I thought the cat might’ve maybe tracked poop out of the litter box again; he has little rock poops and sometimes has constipation issues; I think sometimes he struggles with getting them out because I’ve found little poop nuggets outside the box before and I know he knows where he’s supposed to poop. maybe it just doesn’t come out til he thinks he’s done. but nope, not poop this time. he left a nice pile of vomit right on both blankets on my bed. 

I guess it could’ve been worse. could’ve been on my pillows. the blankets aren’t hard to wash. the comforter is a bitch to dry, but it’s not the end of the world. it just... really was the cherry on top after the day I had yesterday.

today was kind of busy, but it felt busier for me. even with my new coworker I still have to do all the wellness plan stuff because she doesn’t know how to yet. I end up taking a number of the worklist tasks. I end up doing all the scans and all the emails. sometimes she’s helpful and saves some things out of the email, and she’ll enter line items for them.. but she’ll put a note saying the document is attached and then not attach it. and I find it hours later when I go to actually attach it. I might just be quick at it because it was one of the few things I could actually do and do well when I started. but that just means it should be easy as hell for her to do too. same with entering medication checks-- I literally hate coming in at 12 for my shift and seeing both people up front with a full ‘medications to be checked’ basket sitting on the back counter. somehow whenever I open I manage to get those all in. you literally just have to pull up the patient’s chart, read the initials on the label (that’s who filled and checked the medication) and enter your initials saying you verified. then you put it in the med drawer, alphabetically by last name. it’s literally that easy. all the mindless, simple tasks that I was doing when I started... still seem to be my job. the lead and head receptionists won’t do it, god knows. they’ll maybe put some papers in the scanner if they happen to be up. the lead receptionist will sometimes label them. but that’s it. I feel like I’m doing the bulk of all that. and I don’t MIND. like I said, I’d rather be doing that than the managerial stuff. but I’d like to not be doing 95+% of it. it would be nice to have some help, divide the work. 

I have another project to get to; office manager and head vet want me to go through all the files in the back room so we can rip out those shelves and make it into a little employee lounge area. and I can do it-- I actually have a list of all the physical file numbers, and what I’m going to do is look up each folder number in our system and determine which ones can be tossed and which need to be scanned in. hopefully that shouldn’t take more than a few days, provided I have time to actually work on it. I haven’t had time for it this week yet, except for a few minutes before close tonight. I only work on that when I have nothing else to do. thankfully the head receptionist gave me one shift this month that I can use to just focus on that. I did ask for that-- I let her know that if I was going to get this done by the end of the year like the office manager said, I’d need to have time to dedicate to it. and I think it took me 2 months just to get through the front files. this should go faster, since none of them are scanned in so I don’t have to go scrolling through the scans looking for new client paperwork and hours disclosures. I just have to determine which ones are still active clients, which ones I can inactivate, which ones are already inactive, so on. it’s drudging work, honestly, but I like feeling like I’m getting something done. I was so proud to see the shelves in the front get taken out, like.. that was thanks to my work getting the files scanned in. we had a contractor come in the other day to talk about plans for the space. I’m not sure when they’re planning on getting the new countertop and retail shelves in, but I know it’s happening. once I can get the back files done that’ll be nice too. 

I worry that I don’t know how much time I have left at the clinic. I haven’t really voiced any thoughts about leaving. but at my current pay this is even less sustainable than it already was. my paychecks were reading ~$800+ every other week because of the extra hours I’d been able to put in once our COVID shifts ended. but even with extra time, my first paycheck after my birthday was just over $600. with health insurance taken out.. this just isn’t going to work. half my rent is $750 a month, and now that’s more than half my pay. I haven’t applied anywhere yet, and honestly it breaks my heart to think about leaving the clinic, but I do need to earn more. and mom’s being a little more convincing about me getting a remote job somewhere even tangentially related to my field. it would be safer for me to be able to stay at home. and I need the money. 

I’m starting to realize that she’s probably right, that not all office jobs are like my last one. I told my mom I’m just not the desk-job type person, because I really, truly feel like I’m not, and she said “...you’re doing a desk job right now”. maybe it’s just that here I feel like I’m getting something done. I can drag myself through just about anything if I know there’s an end goal and it’s within reach. even if it’s boring. at my old job it was neverending, and my work was pointless. it was slapping bandaids on a rickety, unstable wooden roller coaster. if I fixed one problem, that fix inevitably caused another problem. anyone would feel discouraged by that, I think. mom’s trying to get me to look at technical writer jobs. there’s one company she’s familiar with that would pay something close to what the feds were offering me. and I don’t think I’d have to be cleared. I could live on that money. and if it’s a remote job, I could move anywhere. somewhere more affordable. maybe even closer to friends. holding on to that idea makes me feel a little better about things. 

---

maybe today I’ll take a look at those jobs. I need to process claims for Jasper’s most recent ER visit too. and call another doctor’s office about setting up an appointment. I decided to spend today in bed instead of on the couch downstairs. it’s my one off-day this week, I just want to rest a little.

[salt-sass-and-lyrium]

So, I think I’m done talking to my mother... pretty much forever.

TW: Mentions of abuse and some other unsavory not happy things. Idk I just don’t want to ruin anyone’s day.

I’ll try and make this not a billion years long post, but let’s see.

Quick recap: From a personal standpoint, I am doing very poorly physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. My mother knows this. As a result of this, I wasn’t able to get my mother a Christmas present. I didn’t think it’d be that huge of a deal because

1. We were doing Secret Santa and she wasn’t my Secret Santa. Ordinarily I’d have gotten her a gift anyway, buuut financially it wasn’t in the cards. So I just got the gift for my Secret Santa

2. I told her in advance that I didn’t get her anything due to not having the money

3. Who gives a fuck?

Anyway, Christmas day rolls around and I don’t have presents for anyone but my Secret Santa. Everyone proceeds to lose their absolute shit. Here’s the post about it. Anyway, I tell Mom that I’m going to do something for her when I get paid (which is today, Friday. Christmas was on Monday) and don’t think much more of it.

So last night, about 9 or so, I get a call from my mom. Which is a little weird because she’s normally in bed around this time. So I answer, and she basically starts the call off by saying how “horrible” of a person I am (for not getting her a present, mind you) and that I was an embarrassment to the family because I offered “disgusting” excuses. I literally said “We we’re doing Secret Santa” and “I didn’t have more money” Apparently those are “disgusting” excuses. When I asked “What’s disgusting about that?” she immediately changed the subject.

Other fun highlights include that I am a “hateful, selfish, ignorant, disgusting little girl” and that everything “has to be about me” and that she “doesn’t want to be seen in public with me” and “doesn’t anyone to associate the two of us”. Oh and she’s “ashamed to have me as a daughter”. And let’s not forget that me struggling and being depressed and suicidal “doesn’t matter”.

Keep in mind: This is all over a Christmas present.

It wasn’t like she was sick and needed medicine and I had the money and said no. It wasn’t like she was stranded on the side of the road and I left here there. It wasn’t like she was sitting with no heat in the dark and I just ignored her. Not like she was starving and I denied her food. Not like she’d loaned me money and I refused to pay her back.

I simply didn’t have the money to get her a Christmas present.

And that’s a level of entitlement that’s frankly sickening to me.

I guess my mother still thinks I’m a small scared child, because she was just flabbergasted when I went the fuck off on her, because you’re not gonna call my phone with that fucking nonsense. So I pointed out the number of times she hasn’t gotten me presents (those apparently don’t matter). I pointed out that she treats me like shit, because she does. And she took SUCH offense to that. I pointed out that she doesn’t actually do much for me, and she argued that she does “everything” for me and that I’m “constantly calling and asking for stuff”.

I literally call my mother maybe once a month and 9/10 it’s to ask “Hey do you know a good place to get XYZ?” or “How do you make XYZ?”

She brought up that she’s lent me her car (she has 2. It’s literally a car she does not use and it just sits there otherwise), but said it was ‘countless times’ (it’s been twice) and that I kept it for months and months (see: 1 day the first time and about week and a half the second time). And not to mention I borrowed her car because mine literally could not safely be driven (first time the battery suddenly died so I kept getting stranded and the second time my brakes went out so... well obvs I can’t drive without killing myself and/or someone else). While I borrowed her car the second time, I must’ve left the lights on accidentally or something, and one of the tires got flat. I of course didn’t realize this until Mom came to pick up the car and the battery is dead.

I apologized, said I didn’t realize it’d happened and offered to fix everything and just call her when the car was ready to be picked up. She declined. I insisted, because she lives like 45 minutes away, no sense in her having to keep driving back out here, and asked her to leave me the keys, I’d take care of everything. She again said no, stormed off angrily and took the keys with her.

She then apparently proceeded to drive all the way back out to my house several times to get the battery charged and the tire inflated. I had NO idea this was happening, because I live in an apartment building, and she had never bothered to tell me she was there (something she doesn’t deny). But she then had the nerve to say that I did not offer her any help in getting the car back up and running (I did, it was the first thing I said) and that I left her out there to work on the car by herself and refused to help. I replied with the obvious: “Ok, at what point did you tell me you were working on the car?” Like, when did you call me and say that you were going to work on the car? When did you knock on my door to let me know that you were there? Did you text me? Leave me a note? Anything?

No. She didn’t. She didn’t have a response to that, and changed the subject again to some even more ignorant shit.

Oh, she also mentioned helping me move. But she literally took 1 trunk load of shit over and complained and insulted me the entire time. She tried to bitch about her knee and how I had her “out there moving furniture” (not true) and I replied “Ok, but did I not literally say “I just need to use your car space. You don’t have to load or unload anything, I’ll do that. I just need you to drive”? Spoiler alert: I did.

But she then got angry because I didn’t “pay her”. First she said she’d wanted an ice cream cone and I refused to get her one (not remotely true, she was referring to a completely separate thing and I took her to a really nice ice cream shop and bought her this huge chocolate monstrosity that she wanted without complaint). Then she circled back to basically I didn’t give her any  money for “all the driving” she did (I moved less than 10 minutes up the road and she made one trip). Which... we’re family. Who the fuck charges family to help them move? She never asked for any money, so I assumed it was just a favor.

In the end, she tried to pull this fucking line “If you feel like I treat you like shit, well you’re going to feel it now. Don’t ask me for anything.” (Aside from the one time she helped me move one load of things, I haven’t asked my mother for anything in well over a year. And that was the car). She said 

“See how you do without  my support.”

And

Excuse you? WHAT support? What exactly are you doing for me? You don’t pay my bills. You don’t feed me. You’re not putting clothes on my back, not putting a roof over my head. You can’t be bothered to try and be there for me emotionally or mentally. You don’t even like touching me. You screen my calls. You mostly ignore me the few times I do reach out to you for help.

SO please enlighten me as to what “support” I’m going to be missing out on.

In any event, she ended the call by telling me that I’m a ‘hateful person who only thinks of herself’ and that I shouldn’t call her and ask her for anything anymore.

And.

Ok.

That was your request. Fine. Completely ignoring that I really don’t do that anyway, sure.

And after YEARS and YEARS of physical, mental and emotional abuse, this is just pretty much the last straw. So I’m thinking of the best way to handle it. Do I try and talk to her face to face, lay things out and deuce? Do I call her? Do I write her a letter? I dunno. Either way, I want to be able to say my peace and not just let her off with the satisfaction of not hearing what I’m saying, so I don’t want to just ignore her completely.

[kissingdempsey]

Pancakes and Protection // Zach Dempsey

Hey loves. This is imagine is requested by @fuckkoffcourtney I hope you all like it! 💖 Happy reading.

Request: Boyfriend zach comes over to readers house because her parents were gone celebrating their anniversary and her brother clay is still home obvs and he goes downstairs in the morning to see his sister and zach bein all cute and super domestic and making breakfast together and he wants to be an overprotective brother but he can’t because they’re too cute so he just sits down at the table and smiles because his sister is happy and that makes him happy

Warnings: Fluff and curse words

————

Readers POV•

My eyes fluttered open as I heard the sound of light snores in my ear. I looked at my surroundings and realized that Zach and I fell asleep on the couch watching movies last night. His arms were tight around my small body as the sun beamed in from the half opened blinds.

I tried to get up but he wouldn’t let me. His grip got tighter as he whined.

“Noooooo stay here.” He pouted as he rubbed my shoulder.

“I’ll make pancakes for us if you let me get up.” I smirked. If I knew anything that would get Zach up it’s pancakes. That’s his weakness.

His eyebrow quirked up and he let go of me. I got up and stretched then walked to kitchen. I heard a low yawn and footsteps trailing after me.

———

“Get away from me with that!” I laughed while inching away from Zach, who was holding a spoon with pancake batter all over it. He quickly grabbed my wrist and twirled me into him, taking the spoon and smearing the batter all over my face.

“Zachary Dempsey i’m going to murder you!” I squealed, punching him in the shoulder lightly. He chuckled and then wiped my face off with a paper towel.

“Oh be quiet, you love me.” He remarked.

He was right about that. It was times like this where I felt the happiest. Thankfully enough my parents were on their annual anniversary trip, leaving the house to Clay and I for a whole week. Bless up. Instead of being that teenager who throws a party once their parents leave the driveway, I invited my goofball of a boyfriend Zach over. And that’s better than any party in town if you ask me.

I walked over to the stove and flipped the pancake on the skillet, revealing its burnt side.

“That one is for you Dempsey.” I laughed while sprinkling mini chocolate chips onto the pancake. His muscular arms wrapped around my waist as he rested his head on top of mine.

He chuckled and I continued to make the pancakes as he traced circles on my hips with his thumbs.

“How do you manage to ruin the first pancake you make?” He laughs. I slap his thigh and we both started laughing. It doesn’t take much for me to smile when i’m with Zach, just being around him can make my day.

Clays POV•

I woke up to the sound of a bunch of giggling and squealing…and the smell of chocolate chip pancakes that happen to be my favorite. There was a familiar deep voice echoing through out the house and I knew exactly who that voice belonged to. Zach Dempsey. Knowing that a guy like him is dating my sister just makes my stomach turn. I didn’t want to get up and see his face. But the smell of the pancakes tempted me. I needed to keep a close eye on them anyway.

I slid out of my bed and slipped a pair of sweats over my legs and crept outside my room.

The laughter gets louder and the aroma gets stronger as I get closer to the kitchen. I rested my body against the door frame of the kitchen as I watched Zach and Y/N cooking. His arms were wrapped around her like he was afraid to lose her. This was the first time i’ve ever seen them cuddled up and truly changes my perspective of their relationship.

Normally I would ruin their alone time or try to convince Y/N that he wasn’t right for her, but now I know why she blocks out everything I say. He cares for her almost as much as I do.

He showered her with small kisses and looked at her with a sparkle in his eye that was almost impossible to fake. Maybe Dempsey was good for my sister. I took a deep breath then walked to the table and sat down. “Morning guys!” I smiled.

Readers POV•

“Morning guys!” Clay smiled. I smiled back and so did Zach. “Morning Clay.” We both said in unison.

“Well the pancakes are almost done so Zach go sit at the table i’ll go put them on the table right now.” Zach went to the table and sat with Clay.

A short moment after I brought he pancakes to the table. I sat the plate of pancakes in front of the guys. "Pancakes for my two favorite guys in the world!" I said, seating myself at the table. The rest of the morning was filled with laughter from all of us, even Clay. I think Clay is finally accepting my relationship with Zach.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I know I say this at the end of every imagine I do but I really think that this one wasn't very good at all. I have complete writers block right now and nothing good is coming from that. I've been a bit stressed out lately and frustrated and I think I could've done way better on this but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting. On the bright side I have 3 more imagines coming up that will possibly all be posted before Monday! Hopefully my writing gets better by then. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this. My request box is STILL open so if you have anything you wanna know or any imagine ideas feel free to put them in there. Thanks for reading! 💖

(Gif isn't mine!)

[saintkimora]

well here is how my past 3-5 dates w joel have gone this past week

so! ive been spending the night w him p much every other night. so our 4th date was like 8 days ago. i got there and i THOUGHT we were gonna be in his room again but we were in his room for 2 seconds then he came in like “oh btw my roommates are making us go in the living room and be social” so i was like ..................................................rip i was like here i go its time for the caleb and leeann applebees date 2.0 :/ so we went in to the living room and it was with marissa and lindsey bc his other roommate was out. so everyone was like wtf are we gonna do so after some talking joel decided we would all watch the babadook on netflix since we were talking about the meme and most of us hadnt seen it. i hate scary movies but i figured i could get through it since i had joel to hold on to and since the babadook is like a meme now. so yeah it was fine i got along ok w the roommates and the movie wasnt that scary except for one part. there was one point where i felt like i was starting to shut down a little and i was feeling bad about possibly ruining things again but i asked joel afterwards and he didnt even notice lmao so i dont think it was as bad as i thought

lindsey went to bed halfway through the movie so it was just me joel and marissa by the end. after the movie marissa went into her room and joel and i went back to his room. idk if this next part happened at this point or if it happened on our next date bc its hard for me to keep the timeline straight since it all happens so fast lol so regardless of what day it was this was the next significant thing that happened w me and joel

so i was watching him play overwatch or something and his brother called him on the phone and they had a long conversation about joels financial situation while i was just sitting there lol. so afterwards joel put his head in my lap and explained all his problems to me about how hes so stressed out with money and stuff. and like obv i felt really bad for him bc that sucks. BUT i actually kinda liked it bc i liked how vulnerable and genuine he was being! it made me feel a lot closer to him. then we watched these olds 80s (?) game shows w his head still in my lap (one of them was like some knockoff of snatch game but w regular celebrities instead of drag queens omg) and he had the FUNNIEST commentary about all the old commercials and stuff lol i havent laughed that hard in a LONG time so it was really nice

and idk if this happened that night or the babadook night but i ate his ass again and once again it was a religious experience like his ass is SOOOOOOOO nice i still cant get over it lmao

so then fast forward to the next 2 days later and for whatever reason joel and i werent planning on meeting that night. but he texted me at like 2am telling me he was feeling kinda down about things and how he wished i was there w him rn so i decided to go visit him! and like he kept being like “i dont wanna bother you/i feel bad about always making you come all the way out here for me” and how he wasnt used to guys putting in so much effort and caring about him so much and like...it really wasnt that serious like it wasnt a hindrance to me at all bc i wanted to see him anyways lol but it did make me feel kinda bad for him bc like his old bfs must have been real flops for him to view me just doing decent bf things as like these grand gestures. i have more to say on this but it will be towards the end of the post

so yeah i showered and got there by like 3am. he set up his futon since it was bigger than his bed so we would have more room. and he talked to me about how stressed he was about money and medical school applications and how he felt kinda worthless so i listened to him and comforted him and all that stuff. then we watched the rpdr reunion together and it was SO much fun omg he was shook p much the whole time since it was so iconic. then we went to sleep since i had work in the morning

also like the night after that we were texting and i told him i was really tired and he was like but youre never tired and i was like ya but i had 2 full days of work and i barely got any sleep last night (which was bc i was awake w him until like 5am) and i realized afterwards that it was kinda mean of me to say it bc to me i was just explaining why i was tired but he was already feeling like a burden making me drive all the way there and comfort him so telling him how tired i was probably made him feel bad about asking me for comfort which is NOT how i want him to feel bc i want him to be able to request my help whenever he needs it. so i could tell he was kinda caught off guard by me saying it so i called him and apologized and we cleared it all up. anyways it was just nice to actually call him and discuss the issue and resolve it without any drama. and he said it meant a lot that i even called him to make sure he was feeling ok so it seems that at least i did something right 

there was the next date which was pretty much the same as usual. this time i watched him play diablo 3. but this time we also fooled around and he made me cum and then i was trying to make him cum but i fell asleep bc i was so tired asfnkjashdasna i felt SOOOOOOOOO bad when i woke up that morning :( i apologized and he said it was fine and he was tired too but i still felt bad about it

so then last night/this morning was our most recent date. when i got there a friend of him/his roommates named chris was using his room bc he was playing overwatch so i had to hang out w joel marissa and lindsey in the living room. it was extremely nerve wracking and i was sweating like crazy but i tried to hide my nervousness and socialize. lindsey and marissa seem to like me esp bc i brought joel a gift that day (hes like obsessed w friends and i saw a friends t shirt when i was shopping that day so i got it for him lol) also lindsey is iconic bc she is so wacky shes always getting on the floor and doing weird poses and moves and stunts. and marissa is p funny so i like them both. but still having to talk to them was stressful even though theyre both really nice. lindsey walked into joels room later that night when he was laying down and i was sitting on top of him and said she wanted to join and then later when joel was in the kitchen she came in the doorway and asked if i could be her boyfriend asfjkafndsjnkajs now THIS is a cracked queen

so the rest of the night was nice! we watched like 3 drag race s5 eps on amazon video and we did lots of cuddling and stuff as usual. then we went to bed and we woke up and we fooled around and we BOTH came this time. it was difficult for me trying to get him to cum but i had to power through it bc i had to redeem myself after last time. then i watched him play overwatch and then i watched him play destiny. i really enjoyed it! like i was sitting there cuddling a cute guy and watching him play videogames w both of us shirtless like that is literally all i want and i finally have it!

so yeah! its going really well w joel at the moment. we get along really well and i like his sense of humor and its nice having someone w similar interests to mine! and i love playing w his hair and touching his nice soft belly and his thick thighs and playing w his beard. and i looooooooooooooooooooovvvveeeeeee his voice so much omg the way he says certain words is so cute and hes always making cute weird noises and its super endearing. and i LOVE love love being able to cuddle w someone until we both fall asleep and then waking up together! its so nice 

he doesnt seem to be losing interest in me yet which is good. however this is the issue that i mentioned earlier that i would come back to. so hes constantly telling me about how hes not used to being w someone that puts in so much effort and treats him so well. so that got me thinking. like...obv he likes me at least a little but i have a feeling he might like me a lot more rn bc he isnt used to being treated so nicely. so like, after the initial novelty of being treated like this wears off im afraid he’ll realize he doesnt actually like me that much (like if it ends up being more of a he likes the way i make him feel more than he actually likes me as a person). so im kinda worried about that but im hoping it doesnt happen obv and that he continues to like me. and again. we’ve been in somewhat social situations together now since i had to talk to his 2 roommates but it really wasnt easy for me at all. and we still havent actually gone “out” and done something, like going out to eat or attending a function together or something. so i still have to wait and see how we’re able to interact in those situations before i can determine whether our relationship will work out. im also still too nervous to eat in front of him so whenever he asks if im hungry i lie and say no even though majority of the time i am actually really hungry :/ rip

so yeah thats p much it! its pretty nice atm, except for the issues i just mentioned. also last night joel told me that one of his hookup buddies was back in town the other day and texted him but he had to turn him down and tell him that he is with someone now (me) so that was nice to know! since he seems to view us as exclusive now. we still havent officially decided we are in a relationship but im really in no rush to do that since its only been like a week and a half so i want to continue getting to know him and stuff. i still do feel that he is gonna lose interest at some point but rn it seems that will be later rather than sooner so i am just trying to take it day by day. im also worried about greece since ill be gone for a month so it is very possible that he might meet someone else that he likes more during that time which would really suck. but im kinda just operating on the assumption that its what is gonna happen that way if it does happen i wont be too shocked and if it doesnt happen ill be pleasantly surprised

so yeah thats it, overall its going really well and im having a lot of fun with him! hopefully things continue on this path and we get even closer bc i really like him so far