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cursestothemoon · 3 years

Note

yay for the open requests! I really reallyyyyyy love your Harry's older sister hc, could u pretty pls do more? like their brief life as a family with lily and james, then to the dursleys and then at war, so on. I agree with the anon that did the request, harry does needed a bigger sister❤️

aH I LOVED THESE REQUESTS

YOU GUYS CAN READ THE HEADCANONS THIS ANON IS TALKING ABOUT HERE

ok so this is L O N G i need to add a keep reading tab

alright so let's talk about harry's older sister

so lily and james did not plan you

they were straight out of hogwarts

just having fun

and suddenly lily is having morning sickness and james running into a store to buy a pregnancy test (or whatever the wizard equivalent would be 😗)

james would be so nervous the weeks leading up to your birth

he already knows that you aren't even here yet and there isn't anything he wouldn't do for you

and when you are born

he swears he'd never love anything as much as he loves you

his little girl

this sweet little lump of baby fat that was born with eyes just like his

he'd put his glasses on your little baby face, and he could laugh for hours at the way they just barely sat on your little nose (a miniature version of his)

your chubby little baby hands are his favorite

when you'd plan your hands on his face or wrap your hand around his finger he'd melt

Lily would joke all the time about how she carried the baby yet James is constantly hogging her

I think james would have some serious separation anxiety

Lily would also have trouble leaving you to go do something but she knew that you getting to see other people would be good

james is NOT a fan

and you were a big daddy's girl

"it's going to be alright, darling, uncle Padfoot and uncle Moony will take care of you."

and you'd respond with sad baby talk, something along the lines of 'daddy' and 'wanna stay with you' and you'd get all teary eyed

it's a whole dramatic scene

youre crying

james is about to cry

Sirius is quite literally trying to sob silently into his hand because you just look so sAD

and remus and lily are just

😐

because you guys do this eVERY TIME

there was one time james got back into the car with lily after dropping you off and he was unusually quiet until he kinda just whispered out

"It just feels like i'll never have enough time with her, like one day i'll wake up and suddenly she's not mine anymore."

his tone gave Lily the worst chills, his tone and the fact that she felt the same though never voiced it

honestly

i don't think harry was planned either

he kinda just happened

and they were like

you know what, yes.

so you were two when harry was born

and you LOVED your baby brother

he was so small

so cute

and he had your mum's green eyes

from the get go you were very protective of your little brother

james thought it was the cutest thing

ok ive been avoiding it

but we need to talk about October 31 1981

you were upstairs with our mum and harry

james was downstairs cleaning up from dinner

that was when there was a knock on the door

assuming it was peter, uncle wormtail, james was quick to go open the door

grabbing his wand for protection was the last thing on his mind

the thud of his body was loud

he was killed before he could even open his mouth to warn Lily

the door to Harry's nursery flew open and it all happened so fast

there was screaming

bargaining

a sudden flash fo green before Voldemort turned to harry

his cold, pale hand pushed you out of his way

the prophecy had said nothing about you, so he didn't care for what happened to you he just needed to kill harry

which obviously backfired

half the house was blown up

he was gone

harry was crying

and you just wanted your dad

you found your way downstairs, just barely making it down the steps

lily and james had never let you go up or down the steps on your own

only to come face to face with your dad just lying on the ground motionless

his eyes were still open

now i want you guys to think of the lion king

you know the scene where simba finds mufasa's dead body and just lays with it because he doesn't know where else to go

you just wanted any kind of comfort you could find

so with tear streaks going down your face you slayed next to your dad, getting as close as you could, hoping he'd just wake up

sirius is the one who finds you, asleep next to james' body

it was rather rough for sirius

and he could hear harry crying somewhere upstairs

you wake up to uncle padfoot trying to keep in his tears as he takes in the scene before him

you're just glad to see a familiar face

you run over to him, tears freshly falling as you wail about how daddy and mommy won't wake up

you also gently pull james' glasses off his face and keeping them in your small hand

keeping them safe for him later

you knew he didn't like to sleep with his glasses on

eventually hagrid shows up

you guys know the story

but i will say

it takes a lot for you to leave uncle pads and go with this big strange man

youre basically heaving as you beg to stay with sirius

and forcing you off his hip and onto the bike with hagrid was the worst thing he's ever had to do

even for a two year old, youre eyes held such a strong emotion of betrayal

sirius would never forget it

the dursley's were not fond of you and harry

you had james temper and stubbornness

harry was just a 6 month old baby

doing 6 month old baby things

for the first month you'd ask for james, lily, uncle moony, uncle padfoot, even uncle wormtail on a daily basis

until one day petunia just snapped

you had asked about sirius, or as you called him uncle padfoot, and petunia lost it

she started to shout, her hand coming out to strike your cheek as she told you that no one was coming

not now

not ever

you never asked after that

over time you forgot about sirius and remus and peter

you forgot about the song your dad would sing every saturday morning when making breakfast

or the way your mom would hum when she brushed your hair

all lily and james had become were familiar scents and the same pair of eyes you'd see in your dreams (though for a long time you just assumed they were your eyes, they looked enough like yours)

and you grew up always feeling like you were on the wrong side of a billowing curtain

you and harry grew up only having each other

you were very protective of him

and dudley hated it

because you had James art for pranks

and his art for rarely getting caught

unfortunately for you petunia and vernon didn't need evidence to incriminate you

you were often on the receiving end of disciplinary swats and missed meals

and you'd often take harry's punishments for him

you and harry were also forced to share a room

or cupboard

you let him decorate it with all his things (he didn't have many)

and you guys shared a bed up until you got your hogwarts letter

which that was kept very quiet

you got the letter

and petunia and vernon were just glad to be able to send you and your pranks away

you weren't allowed to tell harry

but you did anyway

secretly

you didn't tell him all the details but you told him that you were going to a school far away and you'd be back whenever aunt petunia let you back

going to school was interesting

you didn't know anyone

bUT HAGRID WAS ALSO THERE TO HELP YOU AND BUY YOU YOURE STUFF AND HE BOUGHT YOU YOUR FIRST WAND

you still have james' glasses

you put them on when youre nervous

so youre sitting in the train

first day

you don't know anyone

big round glasses sitting on your nose as you look out the window barely able to see what's going on

james was as blind as a bat

on the train you spend your time reading your new books

absorbing all the material

you were not going to just walk into this new school of mAGIC not knowing aNYTHING

by the time you got there you were at leas base level with most subjects

some were easier to catch onto than others

as long as you didn't let the logical side of your brain do too much work

within the first week you'd find out about your parents

curtesy of older gryffindor kids who knew your last name and were just amazed by the story

oH ALSO YOURE IN GRYFFINDOR

AND WHEN MCGONAGALL READS YOUR NAME SHE GASPS TO HERSELF

BECAUSE

Y/N POTTER

she remembers when james had written to her with the news of Lily's pregnancy with you

and how he was nervous you'd come out just like him and he wouldn't be able to handle you as well as she had, he was asking her for advice

and when you walked up to sit on the chair she nearly dropped her scroll of parchment and pulled you into a hug

you looked just like him

dark hair

pale skin

same eyes and eye shape

and same habit of picking at the skin around your thumb nail when nervous

the hat announcing you were a gryffindor was very overwhelming for her

then she realizes you

are e x a c t l y

like james

and merlin is she tiRED OF THIS SHIT

ok so at this point i am going to direct you to the other headcanon (linked above) if you want a more fred x reader approach

continue here if not

so youre on the quidditch team

and youre a natural

let me tell you

you just have the innate ability

much like james

and at first they had you as a seeker

and you were good

but you excelled as a chaser

i also firmly believed that there was a practice broom that james had carved his name into

or maybe just a ‘J.P.’

that was the broom you'd practice on

even use for games before you got your own broom

ok so

let’s talk your relationship with harry

you made sure you were the one to tell him what happened to your parents

as i said it was your first year when you fond out about what happened

the gryffindor student had told you what they knew

and you went to professor mcgonagall pretty distraught

you were near tears as you practically begged her to just tell you what happened, you wanted the truth

because all your life your aunt and uncle had told you that your parents had been killed in a car accident

needless to say

you didn't want harry to find out that way

but you also knew he was noticing the stares

the whispers

so you told him on the first night

he had already been put into gryffindor and was getting ready for bed when you are up to his dorm

bECAUSE IT’S CANON THAT GIRLS CAN GO UP INTO THE BOYS DORMS AND BOYS CANT GO UP INTO THE GIRLS DORMS AND I WILL CITE THE PARAGRAPH IF ANYONE NEEDS

and you kinda push out ron, neville, and dean

but yeah thats how he finds out all the details and such

ok so you and harry are sUPER CLOSE

and you are very

v e r y

protective of harry

you'd do anything for the kid

wHEN YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THE WHOLE SORCERER’S STONE FIASCO

YOU ARE LIVID

because harry is your baby brother and you love him so much and don't like seeing him hurt 🥺

as harry grows older he gets a bit more

embarrassed

about having you protective over him

and im pretty sure i mentioned this in the last headcanon post

but yeah he’d be like 14 and you'd be 17 and he'd just

“stOP this is so emBARRASSING”

what a little dweeb

ok leTS TALK ABOUT SIRIUS

BECAUSE YOU AND SIRIUS WERE CLOSE WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER

HE WAS UNCLE PADFOOT

YOU LOVED HIM

until your fifth year (harry’ third) when you were told he betrayed your parents and got them killed

youre in the whomping willow when with harry, hermione, and ron

its a lot for both of you

because sirius is seeing his goddaughter who looks just like james, and his the same fire in her eyes as his bestrfriend

his b r o t h e r

and youre seeing the man who was responsible for your parents murder

again

it was A LOT

i have a feeling you, JAMES POTTERS DAUGHTER, would just lunge at him

and youre crying

trying to hit him

hurt him like he hurt you

just anything to bring pain upon this man

and sirius is having flashbacks of when you had ran to him from next to james’ lifeless body

and how different everything had been just days prior to October 31 1981

upon finding out the truth

scammers is now wormtail

peter ‘little bitch ass’ pettigrew

you and harry are immediately forming this connection

this sort of dependency on sirius

within a few minutes

because he is the only living connection you have to your dad

apart from yourselves of course

but eh was the only reminder that james potter was a real man

and lily potter did exist

and there was a time where your family was complete

it never crossed your mind that any more misfortune could strike

not now

not when you finally got back your uncle pads

and then you guys walk into the moonlight, the full moon light

everything flips instantly

you guys are back to square one

i like to think you have a very big part in getting sirius free

so you guys know what happen in between prisoner of azkaban and order of the phoenix

and this headcanon is already getting very long and we haven't even gotten to the wAR YET

so we are doing a little time jump

order of the phoenix

your last year

you are living with sirius in grimmauld place

petunia and vernon kicked you out once you turned 17 after finding out that was the legal age in the wizarding world

you and sirius are close

super close

i mean he is like a father figure to you

he is uncle pads again

oOO AND OK

AFTER FINDING OUT HIS DAD AND HIS BROS 😤

WERE ALL UNREGISTERED ANIMAGI

OBVIOUSLY YOU WANTED TO BE ONE TOO

youre a gazelle

it just makes sense

father figure sirius is not happy when he finds out

uncle pads, however, couldn't be happier

its finally starting to feel like a family again

you and harry have sirius

aLSO REMUS

icon

anyway

everything is falling into place

you and harry are filling the james sized hole in Sirius’ heart (not completely but it’s better)

and he is doing the same for you two

you and harry love your uncle pads

then the battle in the department of mysteries happens

youre there

you see it

you watch as bellatrix hits sirius with a curse

youre not sure which

nothing too serious you hope, and seeing that he’s still standing he should be fine

but then he stumbles

she's stunned him perhaps

and he makes eye contact with you

there was a look so final, so sad

yet so relieved in his eyes as you watched him fall through the veil

remus grabbed harry

tonks held you

if she hadn’t been you knew you would've thrown yourself into the veil after him

its a whirlwind from then on let me tell you

so we know what happens

all that fun stuff

the war hits

harry, hermione, and ron leave

youre left with the weasley’s

it’s hard being away from harry

not knowing if he was ok

if he was even alive

you guys finally reunite at shell cottage

bill calls you the second he sees harry, hermione, ron, and dobby apparate in front of his house

you were quick to pull harry into a bone crushing hug

keen on never letting go

because after all he is still (and always will be) your baby brother

you guys are all at the battle of hogwarts

oK WAIT

YOU REFUSE TO LET HARRY WALK TO HIS DEATH ALONE

ALSO YOUVE FIGURED WHAT HE PLANS ON DOING BUT NEITHER OF YOU HAVE SAID ANYTHING

NOT WANTING TO ACCEPT THAT THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME YOU GUYS SEE EACH OTHER

AND THE RESURRECTION STONE COMES OUT

BOTH YOU AND HARRY ARE HOLDING ONTO IT

AND SUDDENLY

SIRIUS

REMUS

THERE ALL THERE

EVEN A WOMAN WITH RED HAIR

AND A MAN WHO LOOKS PAINFULLY FAMILIAR

ok so hear me out

i think harry enjoyed looking at pictures of james and lily

but you didnt

you didnt want to see everything that was taken from you

so you weren’t super aware of what your dad actually looked like seeing as you avoided pictures of him and your mom like the plague

but you just knew

and james was standing there

beaming

and he just looked so proud of you and harry

so did lily

she was the first one to say something

“Your father and I are so proud of the both of you”

and you just broke down

james right there with you

he watched as you sobbed, choking on your cries

and he couldn’t do anything about it

he couldn’t hold you or comfort you

he couldn’t be a dad

and it broke him

as much as it could break a dead man

“you’ve grown so beautiful, darling” he'd smile sadly

his voice seemed to bring back all of your memories once lost

“have you always been here, with us?”

“always.”

“typical, your father shows up and everyone forgets about uncle padfoot”

both you and harry laugh at that

but the mood was somber

harry then speaks up

“does it hurt?”

it was the first time either of you had confirmed that you both knew what was going to happen

“dying? not at all, quicker than falling asleep.”

“will you stay with me?”

“until the very end.

james is the one who answers, looking teary eyes at his son

and you know you cant go any further

harry has to do this alone

its quite symbolic actually

the one time you'd let go of the reigns

removed the protective arms you had around your baby brother

he’d die

but you had to do it

so everything goes as planned

harry dies

comes back

we love a resurrecting king

and the war ends

when you got back home from the war

let’s say you are still living at grimmauld place seeing as it was left to you

the first thing you do is go through old photos with harry

any and everything you can get your hands on

you see your mother’s sparkling green eyes

the same eyes your brother had

and your father’s unruly mop of curls

the same wave pattern in your dark hair

everything finally felt right

tags:

@pogueslandia

@vsawyer1989

@lifeofkaze

@siriusement

@erinruby003

@maybesandohnos

@onlyfreds

@fullofsourgrapes

#harry potter x sister!reader #james potter headcanon #harry potter headcanon #potter!reader

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applejuizz · 4 years

Text

laughter of youth.

the scout regiment has managed to rescue eren and recover annie’s crystal from their enemies, yet at the cost of many soldiers’ lives. levi learns a valuable lesson of trust. characters: levi ackerman x gn! reader (platonic!), historia reiss, sasha braus, jean kirstein, mikasa ackerman, eren jaeger, connie springer warnings: canon violence (vague descriptions), mentions of blood/wounds word count: 1.764 inspired by attack on titan 2: final battle and the story of “our man”, the customizable in-game character.

Paperwork after paperwork after all the paperwork...

Levi had come to dread the sound of hasty footsteps pacing up to his wooden office door and its prolonged creak as Miss Four Eyes allowed themselves in carrying yet another pile of experiment reports, barely containing their unreasonable excitement. While they fervently sought the tiniest free space to fit the monstrosity held in their arms, their flow of Titan anatomy ramblings never ceased.

Levi, you won’t believe what Eren managed to do today...!

Victor - who the hell is Victor? - stood awake the whole night and was as energetic as ever in the morning! This new breed of Titans is quite interesting!

I keep naming these Titans and I won’t shut up already and I should slap myself before you kick me across the fields, Levi! - he couldn’t possibly describe the joy these words would bring him coming out of Hange’s mouth. Too good to be true, unfortunately.

He shifted into his chair, straightening his back and shaking off the annoyance that had been constantly pulling on his nerves for three days already.

Thankfully, his office was quiet and the hallway was blissfully empty. Hange had taken a day off from experiments to let Eren rest. On that note, Jean and Eren had stopped arguing for once, Sasha had ceased her relentless search of meat and he could finally relish in the silence surrounding him. It wasn’t often that he got to have such quiet moments to himself.

And because they were so rare, only when he got the chance to savor them did he realize how much he actually hated them.

It wasn’t that he disliked being alone - on the contrary, he loved solitude a little too much for his own good. Instead, he found that whenever he allowed his mind to rest, he was assaulted by intrusive thoughts and memories that he’d rather bury deep in the back of his consciousness. Perks of being a soldier.

His eyes took in rows and columns of observations on the papers in front of him. His hand signed each and every one of them away promptly, yet his mind was drifting, conjuring up crimson fields, disgusting Titan flesh sliced in half, the blood-curdling screams of soldiers trampled off their horses or chewed to their demise. Nothing he wasn’t used to. However, that didn’t mean it didn’t make his skin crawl sometimes.

He thought back to commander Erwin, weak and thinning, laying in a hospital bed with only an arm left. Levi knew his superior was a strong man; he didn’t worry much about his recovery. What did plant the seed of doubt in his heart was the fact that somehow, the man he’d thought nearly invincible had been so badly wounded, and that alone was a strong indicator of the deep shit they all were in.

And of course, the one member in his squad that had never returned from the battlefield hung dark and heavy over his consciousness, a shadow of guilt, the same damn story repeating itself over and over again. No matter how much he tried to avoid it, it came crawling back like an awful nightmare, looming over him along with the deaths of all the other people he has trusted and cared for. Isabel and Farlan, Petra, Eld, Günther, Oruo… and now them too.

I won’t die on you, sir!

Like hell you won’t.

Their promise rang in his ears as if trying to mock him. The shadows of his consciousness sneered at him: look what happens when you decide to trust people, you twerp. Should’ve known better. Haven’t you learned your lesson?

“Tsk.” He set the cup he’d mindlessly lifted back on his desk. The tea had gone cold. He’d have to ask someone to brew him another. Not exactly pleasant, but enough to distract him from the dark path his thoughts had gone onto.

Before he could even stand up from his chair, though, loud voices boomed from downstairs through the whole hideout and caused the floor beneath his feet to vibrate. They were followed by clattering of pots and Jaeger’s unmistakable yelling, obnoxious and over dramatic as always.

So much for his quiet moment.

With an exasperated sigh, Levi picked up his cup again and left his desk and the piles of papers behind, shaking off the last of his melancholy. These damn brats can’t get anything done without wrecking havoc first…

The kitchen was right beneath his office, so all he had to do was climb down the short flight of stairs, put the cadets back in their place, ask horseface to brew him some more tea and go back upstairs. Simple enough.

He came to the sight of Eren, Jean, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha and Connie all hunched around in a compact group, chattering loudly and all over each other. Historia’s dulcet tone surprisingly prevailed amongst deeper voices, although she was nowhere to be seen.

“Wait! You need bandages before anything else! The gash in your side isn’t looking good…”

“Yeah! You’ve literally been through hell and back!” Jean marvelled.

“No, guys! They need food!” Sasha exclaimed as if she'd made a grand discovery, grabbing a half-boiled potato straight out of the pot.

“Sasha, no! The potatoes aren’t done yet-”

“Oi, what the hell is going on here?!”

“C-Captain Levi!” Jaeger stumbled back on his feet, broom in his hands, his headscarf sitting askew on his head. The huddle immediately dispersed, everyone had gone dead silent. Levi scanned the room quickly, not paying much attention to the soldiers’ faces and rolled his eyes.

“I thought I told you to clean up the kitchen, not turn it into a pigsty!” He passed a critical hand over the table, gathering up the dust in his palm and making a grimace. Cleaning supplies, pots and cups were scattered all over the floor and the table, as if the cadets had all come to a mutual agreement of dropping everything at once just to see how many white hairs Levi would gain in his hair.

“B-but-”

“Get back to work and stop yelping, you’re turning my brain into mush.”

But before he could open his mouth to bark another order at Jean, his eyes finally landed on who was once the centre of the huddle: Historia Reiss holding on to a hunched figure’s arm, obviously attempting to provide support, but ending up resembling more of a lost puppy clinging to someone’s sleeve.

“Captain Levi!” the petite girl exclaimed, a hint of relief present in her voice, “I-I went to get water from the fountain and I found them there! They seem stable, but I think they might need a doctor-”

His thoughts were running at light’s speed, yet he couldn’t get his body to wake up from its frozen state at the bottom of the stairs. What must’ve only been seconds felt like hours. As if time had decided to finally slow down, to finally stop the nonsensical blurry of days, months, years passing by only to give him a chance to breathe. A chance to understand. Was it just too good to be true?

“Captain…?” Springer trailed off, eyes bulging out of his little bald head, and quickly recoiled as Jean subtly elbowed him in the stomach. Only then did Levi notice that he had been standing among the shattered porcelain of what used to be his teacup, his hand still hanging in the air as if clinging to the ghost of the object.

The cadet finally raised their eyes from the floor, face bloodied and battered, yet still brightened by youth and devotion.

“Captain Levi… sir.” They saluted in a weak voice, raising two fingers to their temple.

Their last name rolled off Levi’s lips in a stronger tone than he thought he’d manage, yet still trailed off a bit in disbelief. Clearing his throat, he stepped over the broken porcelain.

“So. You came back, huh?” Out of all the words piled up on the tip of his tongue, begging to spill out, the best he could come up with was a rhetorical question. But the soldier still let out a dry chuckle, straightening their back as much as their wounds allowed them to. Their legs wobbled and the Ackerman girl, who had been quietly watching from the sidelines, immediately jumped in to offer extra support. Seeing the usually stone-faced Mikasa’s facial expression filled with a flurry of emotions similar to those churning in his heart allowed him to relax a bit.

“Of course.” The wounded cadet answered. “I made a promise, didn’t I?”

Levi gave a slight nod, features stoic, yet he felt his heart grow with pride in his chest. The same glint of determination glowed in their eyes as it did back then, during their rookie days, when they had placed their fist over their heart and had sworn to stay alive. He had heard the same promise come out of so many of his dead comrades’ mouths that realistically, he shouldn’t have expected this particular soldier to honor it. Yet for some reason, unknown even to himself, he had chosen to place his fragile trust in them. Maybe it had been their thirst for revenge, or their sheer willpower which, dare he say, could surpass Eren’s; whatever it had been, he did not regret it.

He drew closer, steps light as feathers on the wooden floor and took advantage of their hunched position to card his fingers through their hair, ruffling it affectionately. These damn kids keep getting taller… he thought bitterly to himself. The gesture managed to transform their wince of pain into a look of total and innocent wonder. The look in the eyes of a kid who's just got the utmost gesture of validation from a parent.

“You’re a good kid,” he conceded, patting their scalp twice before letting his hand fall back to his side. He could barely recognize the gentle tone of his own voice. “Although were you not wounded, I’d have roundhouse kicked your ass for scaring everyone like this.”

The phrase hadn’t even been that funny, in his opinion, but they let out a joyous, loud laugh, contagious to the people around them. It even pulled a chuckle out of Mikasa.

And as he stood there in the kitchen, surrounded by the laughter of youth, he finally understood. Placing his trust in these kids, fighting alongside them, protecting them with the price of his life were worth all the risks because they were humanity’s last hope. And he would do anything to one day see their joyful faces wiped clean of crimson wounds and dirt and death. Anything.

#attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot imagines #levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #aot x reader #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #connie springer #jean kirstein #historia reiss #sasha braus

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omegawolverine · 3 years

Note

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

#shit self #asks #boku no hero academia #long post #bakugou katsuki #yes i am a bakugou kinnie shut the fuck up /lh #this is all /nm btw its just so much easier to make my long posts aggressive yk #this is just how i talk irl but Better Formatted #info dump #kinz #anti mitsuki #discourse #bangerz

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taexual · 4 years

Text

i’d love you to stay but that’s simply insane // JJK (13)

jungkook is an uncontrollable lead vocalist of the campus band, and you’re a goal-oriented top student that’s known his rich and complicated family since childhood. you don’t want anything to do with each other, until each other is exactly what you want to do.

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: college au

warnings: angst, years of longing escalating into something serious

words: 8.6k (send help)

chapter thirteen

The lamp posts on the street illuminated Jungkook’s face with a warm yellow haze as the two of you walked back to your dormitory, the noise of the party – and the argument you’d had outside of it – already behind you. You didn’t dare to watch him for longer than just a split-second but you could feel his eyes on you when he thought you were too focused on the pavement to notice.

You hadn’t said a word to each other since you left the front yard of his house – and that was already two and a half blocks away – and both of you were busy worrying what the right way to say goodbye once you reached your dorm was. A wave didn’t feel enough but a hug seemed inappropriate after the intense conversation you’d had.

Clearing his throat, Jungkook volunteered to make your trip less awkward.

“Were you actually going to have me arrested?” he asked, recalling your previous threat with surprising clarity – probably because it had impressed him so much.

You sighed, recognizing the amusement on his features – no matter how hard he tried to play it off as simple curiosity – and then said, “no, probably not. That would have only ruined your whole plan and your future—”

“I already have a record,” he pointed out. He said it like that was supposed to make you feel better – it’s totally fine if you get me arrested, you know – but you almost stopped walking in surprise.

“Y-you do?” you asked, unable to fathom how a family as rich as his could not find a way to ensure their beloved son remained a flawless citizen.

“It’s not the first time I got into a fight,” he explained simply and, if you hadn’t known the truth, you’d have thought he really was just your usual troublemaker with no strong backing from his relatives whatsoever. “Some of those fights were more public than others.”

“And your dad—?”

“He took care of it to the best of his ability,” Jungkook admitted, sounding far less dignified than when he mentioned he had a record – as if that was something to be proud of. “But he can only do so much without staining his own reputation. It’s just a few misdemeanors anyway, so he decided it wasn’t worth it. If it proved to be a problem later on, he thought he could just blame it on my youth.”

You chose not to voice it – to avoid an argument that would certainly arise because that was just how Jungkook was – but you couldn’t help thinking that his father’s reasoning was actually different. Maybe he chose not to cover Jungkook’s previous arrest up to teach him a lesson.

“Does that bother you?” you asked instead.

“What?

“That he didn’t put enough work to cover this up.”

Jungkook looked down. All of your questions about his feelings, his wishes, his ambitions were so unusual to him that he didn’t even know what the proper way of answering them was, because you looked like you genuinely wanted to know. You didn’t ask just to be polite.

“No,” he ended up saying, “I didn’t want him to cover it up. And it’s not like I acted out to get his attention, or anything. He seemed really tired of it all when he had to deal with that. You know he’s usually the sort who gets his frustrations out vocally?”

“Yeah,” you said.

“Well, when he picked me up from the police station, he didn’t say a word,” Jungkook said. “It was like I’d unlocked a new level of disappointment – one I’d never seen before – where he was just quietly fuming. Or just… so disappointed, he couldn’t even begin to find words.”

You felt jittery. It was hard to walk when your legs kept trying to bounce nervously, hoping to rid you of the excessive anxiety.

“I never knew this,” you said.

Jungkook gave you a smile that wasn’t supposed to seem sad but, because it was purposefully meant to conceal his despair, sad was exactly what it seemed like.

“My mom didn’t tell yours,” he said.

“But they tell each other everything,” you felt the need to point out but you could feel your own naivety getting the best of you – even the people, who had no secrets, had secrets.

“Yeah, I know,” Jungkook replied. “But I don’t think my mom would have had it in her to brag to her best friend – with a straight-A student for a daughter – that her son got arrested. She may have been less obvious than my dad, but she was still just as disappointed.”

Your heart clenched uncomfortably when he mentioned your scholarly achievements and, for a brief moment, you almost felt bad for being such a good student when he was struggling to be a good person.

But you didn’t think now was the time to feel bad about yourself – especially since there wasn’t anything you should have felt bad about in the first place – and you eyed Jungkook carefully before finally daring to ask, “did they ever say they were disappointed in you?”

“They don’t have to say it, it’s plain and obvi—”

“No, but maybe that’s just you assuming things,” you interrupted. Your mind conjured up a thousand scenarios of how this conversation could have gone wrong, but your mouth kept moving, “you have that right. I mean, they have been disappointed in you plenty of times before. But maybe this time they weren’t. Maybe they were just scared for you.”

Jungkook looked at you and he wanted to believe that you were basing your speculations on some legitimate evidence that he’d missed, instead of just hoping that this was true. But he’s known his parents long enough to recognize their defeat.

“Why would they be scared?” he questioned rhetorically. “I know how to throw a punch.”

“Well, maybe that’s why,” you said.

“No, that’s not it,” he said firmly. “They don’t get scared when I get into fights. They get frustrated, like how did I dare to do that? And then do that again. And again. Maybe they also get confused: I am their son and yet they can’t explain why I am this way.”

He said it like he was diseased – like lacking proper conflict-resolution skills and being impulsive was an illness he’d inherited from someone and, since no one else in his family was sick, that had to mean he didn’t belong there. He belonged somewhere else.

And every time he did something that did not fit into the frame of acceptable behavior in his family’s eyes, it just reminded them that he was the black sheep in a herd of white ones. How did he get here?

“It’s not just you,” you said, your heart hurting. No matter if his parents were really disappointed in him or if they were just worried for him, no child should ever feel like he didn’t belong at home. “Kids from close, loving families rarely grow up to be impulsive or, well, aggressive.”

He clenched his jaw after you said this and that was when you knew that, despite feeling shunned for not being the son his parents had wanted, Jungkook was still their son. They were still his parents.

“I was always like this,” he declared. “From the day I was born. You know that. The relationship with my family hardly changed anything.”

You wondered if he was aware he was defending his family – the family that constantly hurt him with their expectations – by shifting all blame to himself.

“They could have worked as a preventative measu—”

“How, exactly? Remember the time I gave three kids from my pre-school class bloody noses?” he said to prove his point. “Because one of them mocked my drawing of a giraffe and the other two laughed.”

“I-I remember—” you struggled to find a word, “that. It’s not an acceptable way to solve conflict. If they’d taught you that—”

“Acceptability is subjective,” he snapped.

“Uh, sure,” you said and then stopped to wonder if you had the right to draw these conclusions about him.

You thought that, if only Jungkook had gotten more love from the people who were most responsible to love him, he may have grown up to be different – but saying that out loud would have made you sound far too condescending and it would have made a normal person feel uneasy.

Someone who was as arrogant as Jungkook was bound to get riled up – he was already defensive enough as it was – and, maybe, rightfully so. He wasn’t telling you about his family to have you psychoanalyze him. He was just talking to you.

“I-I guess there are other factors that determine how a person chooses to react to something,” you said, threading more carefully now. “For example, you let your testosterone make your decisions for you.”

The sudden transition to biology confused him as he turned to look at you with furrowed eyebrows. “My testosterone?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “It’s obviously your uncontrollable hormones that get you in these situations in the first place. You’re like a twelve-year-old boy, unsure what to do with himself, so you just go with whatever your instincts tell you.”

“Fourteen-year-old boy,” he corrected.

You shrugged. “What’s the difference?”

“The difference is I was fourteen when we stopped being friends.”

That only confused your further. “What does that have to do with—”

“Maybe you were the preventative measure that my family was supposed to be for me,” Jungkook said, the words pouring out as smoothly and elegantly as the floating of your skirt in the windy night. He chuckled humorlessly as he finished, “and then I lost that – the only positive influence in my life.”

You wanted to tell him that he never lost you. That he tried to rid himself of you, he tried to walk away – but he never lost you. No matter how much you wanted to detach yourself from him, to walk away, to move on – he never lost you.

And, more than that, you wanted to ask him why that happened – to demand why he walked away – but allowing him to shift the focus to your relationship would have been selfish. This wasn’t about you-and-him right now. This was about you and him.

Because you were here. You were always here. But Jungkook wasn’t – not always. Often, he fell out of touch with himself completely. And if there was no him, there could never be you-and-him.

“You… you need to be the positive influence in your life,” you said instead, advocating for independence when all you wanted was for him to let you hold his hand so he was steadier on his feet. “You can’t rely on others to get you out of the messes you create all the time.”

“I know,” Jungkook said but he no longer felt like discussing the reasons for his behavior, because every reason eventually led back to you – and when he thought of you, he couldn’t think of anything else. “But I never learned how to take care of myself, did I?”

“No, you never did,” you agreed and then, watching him smile appreciatively – you rarely ever agreed with him – you continued more playfully, “maybe it’s time you started learning, you big baby.”

He laughed and even the wind stopped to listen.

“Maybe,” he said then, the same pathetic hopeful tone that was in your voice before, now evident in his, “I do have you to help me again, don’t I?”

You do, you wanted to say, you’ve always had me. But you only smiled.

“I can’t be the one to handle your conflicts for you,” you said instead. “You have to learn how to do that yourself. How to do that responsibly. I can just… be there for you.”

And, much to the joy of your body that was aching to support him, he smiled and said, “that’s more than enough.”

“Okay,” you swallowed. You felt relieved suddenly – like the tension that surrounded you since you left the party had finally dissipated – and, paradoxically, nervous. Like you didn’t know how to act anymore.

Jungkook didn’t seem to notice that, however, as he teased, “support me even when I inevitably fuck up again, though, yeah?”

You raised your eyebrows, countering his lively pout.

“That’s not a very good attitude,” you said. “How do you expect to change if you’re setting yourself up for failure from the get-go?”

He shrugged. “By a miracle?”

“Jungkook.”

“Come on. I have you rooting for me. I won’t let you down,” he assured you and then, carelessly throwing his arm around your shoulders, added, “I am a great actor. I just have to start playing a responsible role.”

“It’s your father you’re supposed to prove your responsibility to, not me,” you reminded him – just like he’d reminded you a few days ago in your dorm room – although your skin was burning from his touch. “But I’m hoping that by pretending to be responsible, you’ll actually learn a thing or two and prove yourself to us both.”

Jungkook looked at you – his face so close and so welcoming – and said, in the most laid-back fashion that was possible for someone who’d just crossed half the campus while analyzing his childhood issues, “you’re very preachy when you’re drunk.”

It felt like you’d left the party years ago as you said, “I don’t feel drunk anymore.”

“Oh, well. That doesn’t surprise me then.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” he leaned his head against yours and the touch of your temples was electrifying -- like shock therapy that numbed every one of your senses except the ones that consumed his close presence. “I’ve missed your lectures.”

You doubted that but your voice didn’t sound convincing when you spoke – he probably wouldn’t have even heard you if he wasn’t so close, “have you, really?”

“Hmm,” he purred and your pulse nearly flat-lined. “I’ve missed everything about you.”

If you two weren’t walking so close to each other, if he didn’t have his arm around your shoulders, if his head wasn’t pressed against yours – then maybe his words wouldn’t have strummed the strings of your heart so terribly and so delightfully. Maybe you wouldn’t have forgotten all about the seven-year-long silence when you heard the song his words played for you.

But you were walking so close to each other – so close, in fact, that a passerby wouldn’t have been able to tell where your body ended and his began; you shared a silhouette.

And he did have his arm around your shoulders – pulling you closer to him while making sure you were steady on your feet even if his own balance was off.

And his head was pressed against yours – so gently and yet so naturally, it was as if there were magnets inside your skulls and they literally pulled you to one another.

And, thus, when you reached the door of your dorm room, you could not imagine yourself saying goodbye. You couldn’t imagine watching him walk away.

“Are you coming in?” you asked as Jungkook waited a few steps away, unsure how to behave now that the moment-at-the-end-of-the-night had arrived.

“I thought you said you felt like going to sleep,” he said perhaps a little awkwardly.

“I do,” you said and maybe you were still drunk without realizing it but you felt bold enough to add, “but I also feel like spending time with you in a place where... we don’t have to worry about what other people think. Not to mention, your wound needs to be taken a look at.”

“My wound?” his bruised cheekbones had completely escaped his mind. “Oh, that—it’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“At least, let me put a band-aid on it,” you asked.

“And cover up my beautiful face?” he scoffed, using his favorite strategy of dealing with problems – deflection. “No.”

You sighed. “It won’t be beautiful if it scars.”

“Are you kidding?” he still didn’t give in, bringing a hand down the side of his own face and clenching his teeth so you wouldn’t see him wince when he touched the wound. “It’ll make me look badass.”

“You’re a baby,” you declared and then ordered, “come inside.”

“Not if you’re going to be pulling your medical equipment out on me—”

Groaning, you cut him off with a reluctant – but irritated – promise, “I won’t. Now, come in.”

“Are you sure?” Jungkook checked again but he was already reaching for the door that you kept open for him.

“Yes,” you said.

He still hesitated. “Because you don’t have to—”

His uncertainty did terrible things to your boldness – it seemed to vanish with every moment that he did not enter your room.

“Look, if you’d rather get back to the party,” you said, “and drink some more of Taehyung’s painfully unbearable drinks, then, by all means, go—”

“No,” he cut in sharply – maybe too sharply – and then, just to be sure you understood why he cut you off, he said, “I’d rather be with you.”

“Well, come inside, then,” you said and, because you were nervous, you felt the need to add, “but I can’t promise to be more entertaining than absinthe.”

He snickered, finally walking past your doorway. “Oh, you have a far bigger effect on me than absinthe.”

He stopped to take his shoes off. You stopped to lock the door.

The hallway of your dorm-room was very small for two people but, locked away from the rest of the world, you suddenly felt like you were home. Like there was nothing to be nervous about here. Like you were back with your best friend that you’d known for decades.

“Ah,” you started to say because you were back with your best friend that you’d known for decades, “so it burns your throat when you get in contact with me and you feel sick every time you look at me?”

“That’s—” Jungkook paused, one sneaker off. He raised his eyes to look at you. “You really hate it that much, huh?”

“It’s a rational feeling,” you said, unbuckling the strap of your own shoes. “Absinthe is not meant to be enjoyable.”

“Well, if we’d stayed longer, you would have seen what my bandmates do with it,” Jungkook said. “It involves a cube of sugar and a whole lot of cursing because their hands shake too much to do anything.”

He hadn’t realized just how hypnotizing it could be to watch someone take off their shoes so, when you finally placed your shoes on the floor, your feet aching from the torture you’d put them through tonight, he was still staring at your legs.

You cleared your throat, somewhat self-conscious now. “I’m, uh—I’m a little intrigued.”

This got him to lift his eyes to your face. “Oh? So… does that mean there’s a little possibility you’ll go to the party with me again next week?”

“Next week,” you repeated, realizing that this was Parental Advisory’s routine: parties every Friday, hangovers every Saturday. You turned around with a soft sigh and headed into the bedroom, plopping down on your bed. “I didn’t sign up for that.”

Jungkook chuckled, sitting down on the bed next to you.

“You don’t have to come,” he said, keeping respectful distance from you – because you weren’t walking across campus anymore, now you were on a bed – but still remaining close enough to hear your faint breathing. “I was just kidding. We can stay here.”

You looked at him. “No.”

“No?” he repeated, his voice breaking in surprise. “Okay, then. We don’t have to do anything togeth—”

“No, I just mean—you like that,” you clarified before his stomach could drop any lower. “You enjoy partying, hanging out with people, drinking, dancing, and all that. I don’t want you to give that up to hang out with me here.”

You were saying you didn’t want to bore him. You were saying you didn’t want him to overstep the boundaries of your fake relationship.

He’d never heard you say something so stupid before and he didn’t realize that it was his own words that got you to feel this uncertain.

“I’m not giving anything up,” he said because, apparently, even the smartest people sometimes needed to have it spelled out for them. “I do enjoy that but I also enjoy spending time with you.”

In your defense, it wasn’t spelling out that you needed. It was reassurance.

“We haven’t done that since we were… well, in middle school,” you pointed out and your last words were an incantation of a silence spell that prevented you from saying anything else for the next few minutes.

This time was no exception, as both of you shared a thoughtful moment, avoiding each other’s eyes, and then Jungkook clapped his palms on his knees, nodding his head in the direction of your laptop on the desk across the room.

The spell was broken. You weren’t going to speak of that day. Not today.

“Well, come on, then,” he said. “We have a lot of catching up to do, it’s been seven years. Show me the movies I’ve missed.”

“Lots of movies came out in seven years,” you replied but got up from the bed to get your computer nevertheless.

“Well,” Jungkook said, dramatically extending his arm to check the non-existent watch on his wrist. “We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

You sat back down, smiling at his antics, and pulling up your Videos folder. You scanned it briefly, trying to pick one movie that would leave a long-lasting impression on him – even though you couldn’t explain why you wanted to impress him.

“Don’t think about it,” he suggested. “Just choose the first one. We’ll watch them all.”

You scoffed. “There’s not a chance in hell you’ll stay awake through more than one movie.”

“You want to bet?” he countered, knowing your taste in movies too well. “After the movie you’ll choose, I’m sure I won’t be able to sleep for a week.”

You rolled your eyes as you smiled – he’d never grown to like horror movies as much as you did – and teased, “don’t be a baby.”

“I can’t,” he pouted on purpose, hoping for more of your sympathy and not knowing that he already had all of it. “I scare easily.”

“You don’t,” you said. “You just get distracted all the time and everything catches you unprepared.”

“That’s the same thing,” he insisted.

Sighing as you finally settled on the movie, you gave him a look. “Just try not to fall asleep on me, okay?”

“Do you mean that literally or—”

“I mean it in every sense of the word,” you replied. “If you start snoring during my favorite part, I might not be able to forgive you.”

“So strict about snoring,” he said, a mocking grin on his lips.

“I am,” you replied, completely serious. “So, now that we’ve established that—”

“We established that in second grade,” he reminded you, “when you tried to suffocate me with a pillow during our sleepover.”

“I…” you started to say but the memory was too unexpected and overwhelming – and he didn’t remember it correctly. “I tried to get you to stop snoring!”

“By putting a pillow on my face!”

“Nothing else worked!”

“You could have kicked me!”

“I did!” you said. “Several times. My feet bruised.”

He rolled his eyes, adamant to prove your murderous tendencies. “Oh, please.”

You shook your head, the argument so pointless and unnecessary that you chose to opt for a compromise. “Let’s hope that doesn’t happen tonight, alright?”

“It won’t,” he assured you, “I stopped snoring after that incident. I guess, you could say I haven’t recovered from that trauma. I’m constantly afraid someone’s going to try to use a pillow on me—”

“I wasn’t trying to do that!” you said with a groan and when he opened his mouth to protest again, you cut in quickly, “drop this or I really will suffocate you with a pillow.”

He closed his mouth again and then nodded, impressed.

“Still very strict about snoring,” he corrected his earlier statement. “I’ll keep my breathing in check.”

You finger lingered on the mouse button, ready to play the movie you’d picked, but your mind lingered on the memory he’d brought back and all the other memories that came with it. It’s already been a long night, full of reminiscing, discussing, and analyzing.

But you couldn’t resist it.

You’d wanted to know for so long – even if there was nothing to know and it was something that just happened as things sometimes did – that even the late hour couldn’t stop you.

You didn’t want closure. Seven years have gone by – you didn’t want it.

You needed it.

“Can I ask you something?” you started, swallowing slowly.

“Of course,” Jungkook said, unsure why your face had clouded all of a sudden.

“It’s been seven years,” you said and the thunderclouds started to make sense. “Why did you talk to me that night at the party?”

The question was so loaded, he probably wouldn’t have been able to answer it without reflecting on his entire life. But right now, after the night he’d had, you managed to catch him off guard and his mind was void of any answer that made sense.

“Because you were there,” he said because that was the simplest way of explaining it.

You needed more. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve…” he shifted his weight to his side until he was half-laying on your bed, his left shoulder pressed into the corner where your bed met the wall. His body was facing you but his eyes were on your hands, “I’ve wanted to talk to you for a very long time. Actually, since the day I told you we shouldn’t be talking anymore,” he paused here. He never learned how to talk about that without pausing. “Not a clever decision on my part.”

“Mm, no, not really,” you felt the bitterness in your voice as you said this but you didn’t try to justify it – and Jungkook didn’t need you to.

“Yeah,” he only nodded. “So, I don’t know. I saw an opportunity to talk to you again – and I was drunk, and sort of on a post-show high – so I took it.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it,” he confirmed but it sounded like only one half of an answer that you needed. Jungkook didn’t know how to explain the other half and he naively hoped he wouldn’t have to. “Timing, right?”

You weren’t sure if that was right. He could tell.

“You deserve a better answer,” he acknowledged, sighing heavily, “but I don’t want to lie and make up stories about how I’d been—I don’t know—bracing myself to talk to you for a long time, how I planned it all out, because that’s not true. I did want to talk to you, I’ve wanted to every day, but I probably never would have. Not if I wouldn’t have seen you right then and there, in front of me.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t think I was in any position to seek you out,” he replied, “and, actually, I sort of got the feeling that you weren’t that excited to see me, either. Every time I saw you on campus, I’d blink, and you’d be on the other side of the street, already far away from me.”

Fair enough, you weren’t entirely blameless in this, either, you decided, and then admitted, “yeah. Maybe I was avoiding you a little.”

He chuckled. “I deserve that. I made the decision to… to stop talking to you and I knew I should have stuck with it.”

“Can I ask you something else, then?”

He knew what you were going to ask as he exhaled shakily and closed his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Why did you make that decision?” you asked, unafraid of the potentially childish connotations in your voice. You just needed to know. You’d waited for this long enough. “Why did you decide to stop being friends with me?”

Even though he hadn’t answered you yet, just getting the question out of your system felt so relieving, it was as if Sisyphus had dropped his boulder on your chest seven years ago and now, at long last, you’d rolled it off.

The boulder seemed to roll off onto Jungkook, however, as he tried to open his mouth to speak several times, but always ended up closing it again. He didn’t know where to begin.

“We… we were so different back then,” he finally said. He looked at you then and there was hope in his eyes – he wanted you to understand him without any words. “Remember?”

“From right now?” you asked. You weren’t willing to try to decipher the signals his eyes were sending you. Right now, you needed him to use his words.

“From each other,” he clarified. “You were always so focused on your studies and spent so much time working with the school staff when you were in the student council, you were essentially the de facto headmaster of our school.”

You snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Right. And I was… well, you knew me then. I haven’t changed much.”

“The troublemaker,” you said and then, almost automatically, tried to make light of the situation because he looked like he was having a hard time and you didn’t want that. “Good thing there are no more PTA meeting in college, huh?”

Jungkook laughed at this but his laughter lacked humor.

“Yeah,” he said, not sounding wistful in the slightest. He wouldn’t go back to high school even if someone paid him to do it. “There’s still the risk of expulsion even without them. That never goes away in any institution.”

“It’s what brings you to life, though,” you said, your previous discussion returning to your mind. “You love the adrenaline, the danger of doing something that might have long-lasting repercussions. You always have.”

“And you don’t,” he said sadly. “That’s why I felt like—I didn’t want to—I was bad for you.”

Your loud heartbeat momentarily halted your ability to comprehend his words. “Hmm?”

“You probably don’t know this, but,” he hesitated on the very edge of what he knew you needed to hear, “I’d overheard my parents talk about us once, after our middle school graduation.”

There it was again. The last day of your middle school.

Thankfully, this time, the silence spell didn’t linger and Jungkook continued. Actually, this time, the spell didn’t even work on him – now that he’d decided to answer your question – now that he’d found how to answer it – he couldn’t be silenced.

“And the only thing I remember from their conversation,” he said, “is my mom – who’s been on my side for as long as I could remember, standing up for me to my teachers even when they believed I was a lost cause – saying to my dad that she was afraid I was going to be the end of you.”

“What?” you asked, perplexed.

After spending almost every day with Jungkook – and his family, too – for years, you hadn’t even considered that they may have been talking about you when you weren’t there.

“She, um… she saw something between us that we didn’t, I guess,” Jungkook continued as his fingers absentmindedly toyed with the edge of your blanket, his eyes on the shredded fleece. “And she believed I would be the reason why you stopped working so hard. Why you lost your ambitions. She thought I’d turn you into someone entirely different.”

“But that’s—why would she—” all the questions you had tried to pour out of you at once.

“She saw how much we meant to each other and—”

“Yeah, but—” you cut him off and, closing your eyes for a moment to settle on just one of the many things you wished him to explain, you tried, “I mean, why couldn’t she have looked at it from a different perspective? I could have been the good influence that you needed in your life. Y-you said I was.”

“I thought you were. I still think you are. But, um…” Jungkook spoke to the fleece blanket because he couldn’t speak to you, “she… she didn’t seem to think you had it in you to resist me.”

“Resist you?” you repeated, unexpectedly offended. But that only lasted for a second before you felt it necessary to disarm yourself and stop pretending. You were absolutely devoted to Jungkook when you were growing up. “Oh, fuck it,” you said. “She probably had a point.”

Jungkook was prepared to hear your offence. He was not prepared to hear that.

“She had?” he repeated, looking at you for the first time since he started talking.

You swallowed the ball in your throat. “Yeah.”

Shakily, Jungkook concluded, “so, I made the right choice, then.”

“By putting an end to our friendship?” you asked, suddenly aware of how cold your body seemed to be, your hands especially – and painfully so, too. Dancing with the ghosts of your past proved to be difficult. “Was that for my benefit, then?”

It wasn’t the disbelief in your voice that he focused on. It was the anger.

You’d moved on. He thought you moved on – you were still the same in almost every aspect that he remembered, but you were also so different: so mature, so determined, so certain.

And he was partially right – you clearly didn’t hold a very strong grudge. But he also felt ridiculous for assuming that, despite it being so long, you wouldn’t still be angry about this now.

You’d allowed him back into your life and blessed him by not asking him to explain himself for weeks before you finally gathered the courage to do it; it was natural for you to feel angry about something that you’d waited for for so long.

“That’s… well, it was supposed to be,” he explained and then felt the need to defend his decision by saying, “that’s how everyone seemed to see it. I didn’t want you to lose the best parts of yourself because of me. And I don’t doubt that your parents were also relieved when I was no longer such a prominent part of your life.”

You had considered the possibility that Jungkook ended your friendship per the request of his parents. But you had assumed they saw you as a threat to him – even if, in retrospective, that didn’t make a lot of sense; what threat could you have possibly posed to him or the company?

Instead, it was the other way around.

Looking down, you said, “my parents weren’t relieved.”

“They weren’t?” Jungkook repeated because he couldn’t find enough words of his own.

“No,” you confirmed, remembering the not-so-distant times when Jungkook’s name was a forbidden word at your dinner table. “Hardly any parent would feel relieved to see their child cry her eyes out for days.”

Admitting this made you feel vulnerable and it would have made you feel pathetic, too, if Jungkook didn’t immediately wince after you said this – not from pity, but from his own hurt.

“I’m sorry,” he said because he had to, and because he was. And then, even though he didn’t have to, he continued, “I didn’t handle that well, either. I broke my leg in a bike accident about three weeks after we last talked.”

You frowned, focusing all of your energy into your confusion so your wet eyelashes wouldn’t release the droplets of tears down your cheeks. “Was that—”

“That’s how I deal with my emotions,” he said with a nod, confirming your guess. “That is, I don’t. I get reckless and I do stupid shit. That’s the last time I ever saw Dad’s beloved Ducati. He sold it.”

“He sold the bike?” you asked. The bike had belonged to Jungkook’s father who was a casual collector of sports cars and motorcycles – much to the joy of his underage son – but Jungkook was never permitted to drive any of them, at least, not until he was “old enough” according to his father’s standard.

“On the same day they ‘scraped my body off the pavement.’ That’s how he put it,” Jungkook said. “I only got to ride it that one time. Clearly, I’m not a natural. But dad couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to get on a bike for the first time without a helmet or any help at all. He wasn’t even looking for reasons why I did it, he didn’t ask me anything. Just sold the bike, locked up the garage, and didn’t talk to me for a week after I returned from the hospital. Actually—t-that was the first major thing that lead to me moving out of their house later on.”

You replayed his words for a long time, thinking and trying to understand.

“Why did you ask me to put this act? To play a couple for your parents?” you asked when you thought you were ready for the final cross on the last T. “If they thought you were a bad influence on me, this—seeing us back together again, could have painted you in the wrong light again.”

He didn’t think so.

“It’s been so long,” he said, “and you’re arguably the best student in your year. You’re determined and driven. And you’d rather kick my ass to the curb than give in to me and what I want. You… you affect me in ways I could never affect you. Control me in ways I could never control you. And I mean that in a good way. You are a good influence on me. And my parents can see that now.”

Obviously, he wasn’t entirely aware of how much control he still had over you, but because now you knew that this was precisely the reason why you’d stopped being friends seven years ago, you chose not to bring it up.

“I… I don’t control you,” you said.

“You do,” he disagreed. “Maybe not intentionally—actually, probably not; I’d like to think that you didn’t want me to suffer—but you do. You want to stay inside of your room, watching movies – and I want that, too. You want me to come to class and I want that, too. You want me to change and I’m changing.”

“I just—I don’t want you to kill yourself with your recklessness. But I don’t want you to be different,” you said, looking down. “I’d... always liked you the way you were.”

Your broken-up confession couldn’t have warmed his heart more. And yet, he had to point out, “I was unbearable.”

You gave him a look that wasn’t threatening at all because your eyes were still glossy from the tears.

“I know,” you said.

He smiled in spite of himself. “And you still liked me that way?”

You nodded, not saying anything else because he already knew the answer to that—and every other—question.

“I’m sorry for these seven years,” Jungkook said then and maybe that wasn’t enough to cure the wounds the years had left but it was a start. “You had a future ahead of you and I didn’t. My parents could see that but there was little they could do. I had to understand and deal with the fact that I was going to fall off the rails sooner or later myself. I was fourteen and I had to understand that. And I did. I knew that. And I also knew I didn’t want to drag you down with me. You didn’t deserve that.”

You fell into silence again.

You knew you wouldn’t have walked away from him then – anything he’d have asked, you would have given him. Any cliff he would have jumped off of – you would have followed.

To realize that Jungkook didn’t let you go because he didn’t want to be your friend anymore, or because he got tired of you, or because he didn’t care about you anymore -- or because of any other reason you tried to find over the years -- but rather, he let you go because he knew you wouldn’t, was groundbreaking.

It didn’t fix the hurt, it didn’t make it better, and, perhaps, nothing would – the years have gone by and you couldn’t get them back – but now you knew that the end of your friendship was a sacrifice of sorts.

You were intertwined together – it was you-and-him, always you-and-him – and you were comfortable living this way, both of you were. But that wasn’t right. It wasn’t healthy.

Except, you weren’t the one who had her eyes opened seven years ago – if there was no you and him, there could never be you-and-him – and so Jungkook ended up having to break out of your comfort zone, to leave your sanctuary, and walk in a different direction. On a different road.

All so you could have a road for yourself.

“I’m…” you tried to say but the tears that had welled up in your eyes were now cascading down your face and Jungkook – alert as soon as he saw that you were crying – sat up straight. “I’m fine. It’s just been a long day. Thank you for telling me.”

“I… you’re welcome,” he said, wanting to reach out and wipe the tears away but watching you do it yourself. “Although, I wish I didn’t have to tell you anything. Not just because I don’t want you to think about my mom differently after this—she always wanted what’s best for you, we both did—but also because I… I wish there had been a different way. A way where we could have kept in touch and still remained individuals.”

“Maybe there was no such way at the time,” you said. “We’d been close from the day we were born. Maybe we needed to spend some time apart to learn how to be ourselves.”

“Maybe,” he agreed but he didn’t think that was fair. “We were too close.”

“We were,” you said and couldn’t help sniffling; the tears have started to block your breathing. “Sorry, I just—it didn’t have to be seven years. I-I mean, it doesn’t take that long for people to mature.”

“No. It didn’t have to be,” Jungkook said but the fact that he agreed with you didn’t bring you much joy because his words were sad. “I have no excuse for that.”

Knowing that you could have been setting yourself up for more heartache, you still dared to ask, “would you have talked to me sooner if I hadn’t been avoiding you?”

“Probably,” he said, afraid to look at you in case he’d lose control of himself at the sight of your tears. “I-I couldn’t resist myself. But would you have replied to me?”

You looked down, making it easier for another tear to trail down your cheek. “I did that night at the party.”

Jungkook bit his lip. “Would I have seen you again if I hadn’t crashed my car?”

You inhaled sharply, not liking that this was what it came to. “No. Probably not.”

“It didn’t have to be seven years,” he said again, nodding thoughtfully, “but I think that we… started to talk again right when we had to. When it was time.”

You didn’t like that, either. “That can’t be true.”

“We’ll never know what’s true,” he said, leaning in closer to you but still not daring to reach out and touch you. “But it’s been long enough.”

“It has been,” you said, nodding and, feeling more tears coming. You sniffled, throwing your head back to fight the crying, and excused your emotions again, “it’s been a long day. It’s been seven long years.”

It’s been a long life; but you didn’t think of your years as his best friend to be draining. If anything, these were the years that made you feel alive: both of your families so close, it was like you grew up with two sets of parents, and with a soulmate for a best friend.

It’s what happened next that was a task.

Life had been pouring out in every shade of color around you when you knew him, when you laughed with him. And when you didn’t, you had to physically strain yourself to see the world in anything other than black-and-white.

You’d worked so hard to get used to the darkness of your life that the explosion of the color spectrum when you finally got to laugh with him again was almost painful. You’d grown so accustomed to monochrome that seeing colors all over again felt scary. Dangerous. Potentially hurtful.

But now you knew he never meant to take the colors out of your life. By doing so, he ended up having to sacrifice his own brightness. His own light.

Maybe what hurt the most right now wasn’t the memory of the years that you’d spent without talking, but rather the pointlessness of it all because here you were again: together. Affecting each other in ways ordinary people should not have been allowed to affect one another.

“Come here,” Jungkook finally asked, extending his arms, but you shook your head, not wanting to admit to how big the hurricane cloud in your chest was. “Come here, please.”

The insistence of his tone wasn’t what got you to move closer in the end – it was the pain in his eyes.

This had hurt him, too. He was the one who had to find a different way so he wouldn’t have to end your friendship. He was the one who eventually failed and had to say goodbye – stone you so you’d run away. Wound you, so you wouldn’t come back.

It would have hurt your pride if you didn’t love him so much.

And he couldn’t find it in himself to say how much he wanted you to come back after he told you to leave; how much he agonized over your phone number – which he’d deleted off his phone only to realize that he knew it by heart – and how much he wished he was different—better—so he wouldn’t have to stay away from you. He couldn’t find the words.

So, he just held you – like it was the first and the last time he was ever going to hold you. And he hoped that this would be enough for you to know that he knew you loved him. He’d always known.

And he loved you, too.

“I’ve missed you. Everything about you,” he whispered, clutching your body tightly against his own and sinking his face into your hair. “So much.”

Your hair grew wet – you could feel the pain leave his heart in tears – and, even though you’d seen him cry before, you’d never cried with him. But it felt inevitable now – like everything you’d done together in the past few weeks was only the prologue and tonight you were turning the page, you were starting the first chapter of the rest of your lives.

It hurt because of how long the prologue was. It hurt because of the seven empty pages.

But it felt so relieving to reach the end. So freeing.

You wrapped your arms around him tighter because you were ready to work on letting go of the pain, and you were ready to move on, and you were so happy to have him with you. You didn’t know what awaited you after tonight but that scared you much less than all that you’d already survived.

“If history repeats itself,” you said, your nose stuffed from the crying, “we’ll find a different way, right?”

Jungkook considered pulling away when you said this but that didn’t seem right. Not holding you when he could, didn’t seem right.

“We will,” he said into your hair. “I’m not leaving again.”

And he meant it – in the long run, at least. Because this night was coming to an end.

Your laptop – and the movie you didn’t get to watch – was long abandoned as you and Jungkook sat on your bed, your legs crossed and hearts open, and you talked.

You talked and the seven empty pages filled. The filled with words, written in different fonts with different colors, but they filled.

You talked and your bodies grew tired even if your minds didn’t, so you lied down on your backs next to each other, the white concrete ceiling painting itself in the colors of all that you’d missed about each other.

You talked and the hours went by – minute by minute, morning was creeping up on you.

“It’s late,” Jungkook said when your room got so dark, he couldn’t make out which bits of skin, glistening in the pale light from the street lamps outside, were yours and which were his. But even so, he remained on his back next to you. “I should probably go home. Maybe we can watch a movie tomorrow? Or next week?”

“I… I don’t have plans tomorrow,” you said and you wanted this night to keep going so badly, that if you’d been Faust, your soul would have gone straight to hell: beautiful moment, do not pass away! “Will the party be over now?”

“No, probably not yet,” Jungkook replied, “won’t be the first time I’ll be woken up by someone drunkenly smashing a bottle or something,” he said and then, when you bit your lip, clearly concerned, he added, “it’s fine. I’m used to it.”

Then, because you were not Faust and the devil had not chained your soul to the pits of hell just yet, you found a way to stop the moment as you said, “you could stay here.”

“Hmm?” Jungkook turned his head to look at you, unsure if he understood your offer. “H-how do you mean?”

“Just… stay here,” you said with a shrug as if it was that simple. Your eyes remained on the ceiling. “The RA didn’t see you come in with me. And, usually, no one smashes anything in the middle of the night here.”

“Are you sure?” he asked again. He didn’t want to go – but just like he did before coming inside earlier tonight, he didn’t want to force you into something you weren’t ready for; God knew you’d already done so much for him.

But you assured him, “yeah. You didn’t want me walking home alone, well, maybe I don’t want you stumbling around at 3 AM, either. You’d already had one fight today.”

“It’s, uh,” he checked his phone, “four-thirty.”

You gave him a look.

“But your concern is understandable,” he added quickly, catching on, “I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable with you here.”

“Okay,” he said, your gazes so intensely focused on each other, both of you were almost paralyzed as you lied side by side.

“Yeah?” you asked. “So, you’ll stay?”

“I’ll stay if you let me.”

You turned to your side, facing him. Your eyes never left his, just like his did not stray from yours. You even seemed to blink in unison.

“Stay,” you said. “I’m letting you.”

He turned to his side as well and, as his eyes fell to your lips – he could have touched them with his own if he dared to move a little bit closer – you knew you would have allowed him do a lot more than just stay here for a night.

But you’ve come a long way tonight, both literally – when you walked back here from the party – and figuratively – when you scratched the wounds until they bled because there was no other way for them to heal properly – and maybe that was enough for one night.

“Goodnight,” Jungkook whispered because you’d walked so much tonight but your road hadn’t ended yet. He didn’t dare to touch you.

“Goodnight,” you whispered back because just having him here with you after so long felt enough right now. You didn’t have to to touch him.

keep reading | masterlist

#bts reactions #bts fanfiction #bts college au #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfiction #bts angst #college au #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #friends to lovers au #bts f2l #fanfiction #bts au #angst

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jaehyunsuh · 4 years

Text

hey, I’m back

credits to the rightful pic owners

MASTERLIST

—pairing: Jeno x reader

—genre: father! au/ romance/ idol! jeno/ dad! jeno/ angst (really slightly)/ ex to lovers?/secret relationship

—words count: 5.1k

—warnings: mentios of abortion/single parent

author’s note: Jeno’s reaction at the beginning of this is obviously fictional, this is just for entertainment, not saying that he would react likes this in real life. Enjoy!

REQUESTS ARE: OPEN

please go to the ask box to send your requests, opinion or questions♡ you can interact as much as you want, i love talking lol

Jeno and you have been in a secret relationship for two years now. At the beginning it felt crazy and unreal for you to even go on a date with and idol, Jeno is really well known and people can recognize him everywhere anytime, even though of that your love was so strong and beautiful that you wouldn’t choose anyone else to be in love with and to experience this.

Jeno is one the most amazing people that you’ve met in your life, he is so loving, caring, he makes you feel safe, he knows how to take care of you, he makes you happy, he makes you feel safe, you can’t imagine your life without him, he is the best that has happened to you.

Of course dating an idol in secret wasn’t a complete fairytale, but you don’t regret anything and you don’t get tired because you have him, and he is the best.

Two weeks ago you started feeling sick, your stomach felt like it was going in circles, you felt constantly nauseous, you couldn’t eat or smell a lot of things because it felt weird, you would feel dizzy out of nowhere, you really didn’t know what was going on. At the begging you thought it was the flu but after a week you started to get worried.

You decide to go to the doctor and see if you are having some problems with your digestive system or something. He starts with an echocardiogram that let’s him see if there’s anything wrong.

“Miss, I think I can see what’s going on.” He says while looking at the machine.

“Really? great! Tell me, I really want to get better.” You say kinda excited because you just want to get back to normal.

“Miss Y/L/N, congratulations, you are pregnant.” He says excited.

You stare at him with a blank shocked expression in your face. You don’t even know what you are feeling right, what are you supposed to do? how should you react? you have never been a mother, what is happening?

“Well, everything looks good, you and the baby are really healthy. Everything that you are feeling is completely normal either way I will recommend you to go see a gynecologist and they will help you with anything. Once again, congrats.” He says all of that like in 10 seconds and everything is happening so fast that you brain can assimilate how to react at all.

You get out of the doctor’s office and drive straight at home. During the whole ride and while staring at the ceiling in bed all you could think about was ‘how were you going to tell Jeno?’, wow you really messed up. Jeno is an idol, everyone knows that whatever an idol does becomes an scandal, and an young idol, from a big company, super popular, in a secret relationship of two years, is not married and his girlfriend is pregnant is definitely something that would affect him hard!

You aren’t sure if you should cry or what, genuinely you wanted to have this baby, yes, you are going to collage, you are young, but wouldn’t feel bad about being a mother right now, also the thought of having a baby with Jeno doesn’t sound wrong for you. You have thought about having a family with him countless times, Jeno is the kindest and most caring people, he would be an amazing dad and also he loves kids.

It would be a dream to have a family with someone who you love as much a Jeno, but everything depends on how is he going to react, you believe in him and you believe that he would do anything to make you happy.

You sit and look at him in the eyes. “Jeno, I need to tell you something.” You say with a serious tone, trying to contain yourself.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Jeno sounds worried.

“I’m pregnant.” You finally let this let out, feeling better and much relaxed.

“What? Are you kidding.” Jeno says with a confused yet frustrated look on his face.

“No, I was feeling bad for two weeks so I decided to go to the doctor, and he checked me and turns out I was pregnant, but I didn’t knew how to tell you, but know i’m here telling.” You say this so fast, with a mix of emotions, most of these being fear and excitement. You let smirk out of your lips, because you were actually feeling happy of telling this to your boyfriend.

“Y/n, no, we can’t.” Jeno says looking away from you with a serious tone.

“W-what do you mean?” You feel the tears form in your eyes.

“Y/n, you can’t have this baby, you know how much this would affect me and my job? what if they make me leave the group and the company!?” Jeno sounds so frustrated, you have never seen him like this and it’s starting to break your heart.

“Jeno, but we can find a solution, maybe we can get married and have it in secret until a couple of years pass, people have done it before so can we.” You say while getting up and trying to reach him.

“NO!” He says as soon as you finish talking. “Y/n, I’m 24 and you are 22; we just simply can, that isn’t gonna work.” He says placing his hands in his hips and having a serious look on his face.

“Jeno, but please, let’s try.” You are now crying, feeling so much pain by what you are hearing him say.

“Y/n, we need to get rid of this baby.” He finally says looking down.

You start crying, you feel you knees getting weaker and you sit on the couch again letting all the sadness get out through your tears.

“I’m not going to. I’m sorry Jeno but this is my baby too and I want to have it!.” You say firm drying your tears.

Jeno looks at you with disappointment. “Y/n, but please understand.” He sits next to you and holds your hands.

“You know I love you but we can’t do this now.” He stares at your eyes, while you avoid eye contact.

“Okay, i’ll think about it, I just need to calm down.” You fake to agree, but you already made your decision, you were going to have this baby with or without Jeno, even if it hurt you so much.

Jeno leaves your place and you acted normal, but right after that all you did was cry the while night. You packed your bags, quickly called your parents and explained all to them, same with your best friend Rina, they ended up supporting you and told you they would help as much a they could.

You booked your flight to England that night, you had a couple of friends there who offered to move multiple times and you were finally agreeing, you were leaving at 6am the next day. You deactivated every social media that Jeno had of yours for now, until you felt like coming back. It was really hard for you to do this but there wasn’t going to be other way to do it, if you stayed and had the baby it was gonna a big issue to Jeno and you loved, you didn’t want him to go through that, he broke your heart tonight, but you still lived him and that wasn’t gonna change.

Jeno’s pov

It was already 6pm and he hasn’t heard anything from y/n, she usually gets out of work around 4pm and it’s constantly texting Jeno but, what happened today?. ‘Was it because of what happened last night?’ Jeno thought, yesterday was really stressing for him, it would be crazy if he has a baby right now right on the highest of his career.

He starts panicking and calls Y/n multiple times but it doesn’t even ring saying that the number is out of service, he checks and you are gone from every social media. He proceeds to call your friend Rina who finally tells him that you are gone, that she doesn’t know where you went. He hangs up immediately at feels frustrated at himself, for being so stupid and letting you go, he could have find a solution and have you here but he choose wrong and now he lost you.

He thought about Y/n every time, everyday, wondering how you looked, how you felt, how you were doing, and how lost he felt without you. He wasn’t able to start going on dates after two years passed, but she was still going through his mind frequently. He had to accept that you left and that you weren’t going to comeback but it’s hard.

5 years later...

Jeno went to the park for a rum, he usually comes a couple times a week at 8am, it’s the perfect timing because this early in the morning the only people around are elders, people with dogs and people training, every other person it’s at school or working, so no one would focus on if he is an idol or not. After 30 mins running he decides to sit on a bench to rest before walking back to bis car and go back home. While in here he can admire the plants, trees and flowers that are in the park, the view to the Han River and breath the fresh air.

He keep enjoying the view when he sees a ball flying right next to the bench he is sitting, he get startled and starts looking everywhere to see who could be looking for the ball. While he keeps watching this little kid around 4-5? years old comes running towards him.

“Hi sir, have you seen my ball?” The little kids saya in a broken korean and keeping the word ‘ball’ in english.

He faces the kid and gets completely shocked, feeling shivers running all around his body. The kid standing in front of him looks exactly like him, all he sees is the 5 year old Jeno that filmed all of those commercials and did all of those publicity campaigns. He keeps blinking, trying to go back to reality and figure out if he is dreaming or not.

“Oh, here it is.” The kid says pick up the ball located next to Jeno’s bench.

“Daniel, I told you to stay next to me!” A familiar voice Jeno hears, and he sees a hand holding the kid.

He looks up and looks at the owner of the voice, and it’s her, it’s y/n, the only girl that he has considered the love of his life, probably the best woman he has ever dated, also the one that he let go and didn’t treat right that one night.

“Y/n?” Jeno says confused, with a knot forming on his throat.

You hear his voice and immediately recognize it, you feel you heart pounding really fast, you feel your hands sweet, and feel like you are about to throw up, also controlling your eyes so they won’t form any tears.

“Uhm, hi, jeno.” You say in the calmest tone you can, looking at the man that you have loved the most and that also hurt you the most, but was never able to erase from your memory, and your heart.

Jeno stands up quickly with his eyes wide open. “So, how have you been, what are you doing here?” You could feel the nervous in his voice.

“Oh, I decided to come back, Rina’s family offered me a really good job here and I couldn’t say no.” You have never felt so uncomfortable ever, while in a conversation. You try to avoid eye contact and pray that you can leave soon.

“Mommy, who is he?” Your 5 year old asks in a innocent way.

‘Mommy’!? Jeno thinks, is this his baby? is this his child? the one that he told you not to have?. Jeno could feel his heart flinch, and go all over the place, his knees get weaker and some way he feels dizzy too. He tries to recover and get back on his senses.

“Yes baby, he is an old friend.” You smile at your son and pat his head. “Oh, okay.” Your son answers and thank god that he didn’t do more questions because he tends to talk a lot.

“Y/n, I think we need to talk.” Jeno says in a serious tone. You swallow and take a deep breath.

“Talk about what?” You say trying to sound calm. Jeno looks at you with a intense gaze and points at your child with his head.

“What? why? I have nothing to tell you.”You start getting frustrated but try not to take ir further.

“Y/n, this child looks exactly like me, I think we definitely need to talk.” Jeno says almost whispering, so your son can’t hear him.

“Jeno no, I don’t want to. Don’t you remember when you told me not to have him, you made it really clear, we won’t bother you.” You say in a low tone but still mad because obviously what Jeno made you feel is something that you’re never going to forget.

“Daniel, let’s go.” Your kid looks at you and you gran his hand but Jeno holds your arm and stops you.

“Y/n please, it’s been years, I really want to talk and clear things up, please.” You can feel the sincerity in his eyes that are staring directly at you.

“You can come to my apartment, he can order something to eat and we can talk in peace.” He says. You look at him and sigh.

“Okay, it’s okay.” You tell him

“Great, give me your number and i’ll text you.” You hand him your phone and saves his numbers.

“We will be free tomorrow around 4pm, does that work for you?” You ask him.

“Yes perfect, i’ll see you them.” He smiles, and for the first time in 5 years you finally see again that smile that used to make your day better ams your heart flutter.

“Bye.” You say giving a soft smile.

“Bye, sir.” Your son says while holding your hand and leaving that spot.

Y/n’s pov

When you saw Jeno at time, out of nowhere, never wondering you would find him there. When you saw that your son was standing next to him you were about to faint right there, but a bigger force gave you the strength not to. You fought so hard not to think about Jeno and to get over him for years, but you just simply couldn’t, also the fact that your baby looked just like him, the same eye shale, the same eye smile, laugh, face, everything was just like him, didn’t help either

you definitely didn’t knew how to react when Jeno said he wanted to talk to you, that’s when you remembered everything that happened and how you literally ran away to raise this baby by yourself, your mother instinct came out, you are definitely not ready to have this conversation, you don’t even know if you are ready to let Jeno get into Daniel’s life, but when Jeno asked you, you could see the sincerity in his eyes and you had no option but to say yes.

You think about how are you gonna be able to have this conversation with Jeno once you get to his apartment, the feelings for him haven’t disappeared and the thoughts of him being a dad makes you even happier but you don’t want to dream to much and just wait until you finally met.

Jeno’s pov

Seeing y/n after years and knowing that things didn’t ens up well, just makes him so upset and frustrated. His mind and his heart are a mess right now, when he saw this kid that looked exactly like him and them finding out his mother was y/n, how was he supposed feel. Then coming back to his apartment and realizing that from the time that y/n was pregnant until now everything fits, that kid is his son, a son that he didn’t wanted to have years.

He lays in bed and tries to organize himself, after seeing that small child, so pretty, with the same face features that him, made him feel so touch, also the fact that it has a part of him and a part of y/n, isn’t that kid the best thing ever? He keeps thinking about that one night and how much he regrets everything he said and letting y/n go, but was so young back then, he didn’t knew what to do or how to react, but now he feels like doing the right thing.

Y/n is finally back in the city and back in his life, with his son, he definitely wants to be part of his life, everyone knows that growing up without a parent is hard, and Jeno really wants the best for him, Jeno really loves kids, and always loved the idea of having a family but right when y/n told him she was pregnant he didn’t knew what to do, he wasn’t ready. Now he is ready to fix things up, for the love of his life and his son.

He spent the rest of the day, noon and even the middle of the night thinking about all, he wasn’t able to sleep even a bit at night.

the next day...

Jeno’s pov

He went to the gym to release some stress, he was feeling so nervous about today. He wasn’t even able to eat well, watch tv, or do anything, he would just stare at his phone every 2 minutes to see what time it was.

He cleaned the apartment, went to the grocery store and got of all your favorite drinks and snacks, and things that probably a kid would like, he even went to to a toy shop to get a couple of gifts for his son? ‘is that how i should call him?’ he thought. He studied menus from restaurants so when you were hungry he would already know what to order.

He was planning for everything to be perfect and be able to spend a nice evening.

Y/n’s pov

You woke up really tired, you could barely sleep last night so now your head and your whole body hurts. The day passed and all you felt were constant nauseas, you still loved Jeno so much but you have to accept what happened and move on, you don’t even know if he is even dating someone.

You tried to calm down but now you find yourself pulling out your whole closet to figure out what to wear, it’s crazy to see yourself like this, you are always so cool, but today is different.

You call Jeno and let him know that you were almost there. You inhale and exhale multiple times to calm yourself down. Finally you arrive at find you and your son in front of Jeno’s apartment door. You knock and a seconds the door opens showing the guy with the beautiful eye smile, you felt like your eyes were transforming into heart shapes.

“Hi, welcome to my house.” He says smiling brightly hiding his nerves with his smile.

You smile back and proceed to enter with your cute son. A couple of hours passed and you’ve just have chatted about the most boring things ever, constantly trying to avoid eye contact and feeling the big awkwardness between you two.

“You know? I’m actually hungry, we should order now.” You say

“Oh yeah, sure. I found this chicken restaurant and it also has a menu for kids, is that okay.” He says while standing up and looking for the phone.

“Yes, perfect.” You give him a soft smile. You feel you heart pound fast, the fact that he looked for a place that has a kids menu already made you happy, you really need to calm down, you came to have a serious talk and we don’t even know if it’s gonna end up well.

The food arrives and you eat in silence, just making comments about the food and looking at Daniel who is really enjoying watching tv while eating chicken, which was one of his favorite food.

“Daniel! I actually have a couple of gifts for you.” Jeno leaves to his room and comes back revealing the items behind his back.

“Cha chan!” He shows a big car toy and a really big dog teddy.

Daniel’s eyes open in shook and smiles, he runs to the toys and hugs them.

“Thank you Sir Jeno.” He says with a big smile.

You are all done eating and after a while of playing with his toys Daniel starts yawning.

“Honey, are you sleepy?” You say caressing your son’s cheek.

“Yeah, I want to sleep.”He says yawning again.

“Maybe we should go.” You look at Jeno.

“Oh no, but he can sleep in my room. You know? so we can talk.” Jeno says with a little of nerves in his voice.

“Well, Umh, yes. Let’s do that.” You don’t try to go against it because you know you need to have this talk. You walk your som to Jeno’s room and a couple of minutes later he is already asleep.

You go back to the living room and sit in the couch, next to Jeno.

“So, why are you back in town?” Jeno takes a sip of his drinks.

“Well, like I told you before Rina’s family actually have been insisting me to come back and now they offered me a job here, and honestly I wanted to come back, I had lot of friends here and I missed them, also I love the city, so I thought it was time to come back.” You give him a soft smile.

“Oh that’s great, and how’s the job?” He asks.

“It’s great, i’m actually one of the managers, and they let me take some work home so I don’t have to go to the office everyday, and I can spend more time with Daniel.” You smile remembering how much you love your little boy.

“So now, where were you living?” He says with a more serious tone.

“I was living in England, I met a couple of friends from there in high school and they always told me to move and talked to me about the scholarships, so I went there.” You leave a sigh.

“And how did you manage to study and take care of the baby?” He asks.

“I studied until I gave birth, then I took a break for 6 months and maintained us with money I saved, what my friends helped me with and the money that my parents sent me.” You take a sip of your drink.

“And who helped you take of the baby?”He looks at you.

“My mom stayed for a couple of months, later my friend’s mom offered me to take care of him and she ended up doing for all of these years.” You smile remembering how grateful you were with all the people who helped you so much.

“Wow you really went through a lot.” He looks at the floor and touches his head.

“Yep.” You say in an awkward way.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry that you had to go through all of that by yourself. I was such an idiot for not taking care of you and the baby, knowing that I was capable of keeping comfortable and safe. Y/n, I’m really really sorry for everything. I know I told you to get rid of the baby but I was stupid.” Jeno closes his eyes and takes his head im between his hands.

“Jeno, I know.” You say trying to make him feel calm.

“No, Y/n, I was so blind and I was scared. I didn’t even try to help you and the find a solution I didn’t do anything.” You hear Jeno’s voice break and your heart starts to beat fast.

“Hey, I know that you are being honest, I forgive you. I’m not gonna tell you I didn’t felt bad, you broke my heart and made me sad, and of course, the whole pregnancy and those 5 years haven’t been easy at all. But I appreciate that you are now talking about this with me, really.” You pat his back while smiling.

“Thank you, Y/n.” He stares at your eyes.

“It’s okay.” You smile.

“Now, I wanted to tell you something else.” He says.

“Yeah, tell me.” You say positioning yourself on the couch.

“You are Daniel’s mom, and you are the only parental figure he’s had and I have to respect that. I was really thinking hard about this and I want to be part of his life, I want to be his dad, I’m here, I’m present, I can help you with all the expenses I don’t care. I can take care of him, I’ll anything I should do as a dad if you let me be part of his life.” He says practically begging.

This really made you think, you’ve never had anyone to be part of Daniel’s life like this. You are the only one he had since day one, it was so delicate for you to take a decision like this. You don’t care about anything in the world but your son, you would end up sad if Jeno ever leaves him, so this wasn’t a easy choice to make.

“Wow, that was unexpected.” You give an awkward laugh.

“Yeah, I know, I know it’s hard but believes me, i’ll do anything.” Jeno takes your hands and stares right into your eyes.

“Okay.” You say

“Okay? like it’s okay? are you gonna let me?” He sounds excited.

“Yes, but please promise you’ll be with him no matter what, this isn’t a game, if you make him sad and gonna be furious.” You say in a serious tone.

“No, no, of course i’ll do the best for him.” He smiles.

“But wait, how are you gonna say in public that you have a 5 year old son?” You say nervous.

“Y/n, I’m 29, i’ll find the way and I don’t care what people have to say, this is my child not theirs.” You heart jumps everywhere when you hear him say that, making you flutter.

You spend the rest of the night chatting and catching up.

“And are you dating anyone?” Jeno says shy.

“A young mom, with a kid? I’ve just gone on dates, maybe some kissing and something else but nothing more, it doesn’t even happen that much. Men won’t commit to raising a child.” You take a sip of your drink. Jeno realizes how every aspect of your life has been so hard.

“What about you?” You look at the tv.

“Oh, not much either. After you left I didn’t go on dates for two years, after that just datings but nothing serious.” He says.

“Oh cool, so we are the same.” You laugh.

“Yes, I guess.” He laughs back

“But tell me.” He says taking your attention.

“Yes?” You answer.

“What’s gonna happen between you and I, aren’t mommy and daddy supposed to be together?” He leans closer to your face and you look at him in shook.

“Because I have never stopped thinking about you.” He stare at your eyes.

“Yes, I guess we could try.” You say playfully.

He grabs your waist and connects your lips together. His lips feel so soft and warm, you taste heaven when you kiss him. You have been waiting for this moment for so long and it’s finally happening. You are so thankful that Jeno decided to talk to you, you have always love him so much and now you know it’s the same for him too.

1 year later

It’s been a year since you let Jeno enter Daniel’s and you life’s. Honestly it’s the beat decision you’ve ever made, he is the most caring, loving and supportive dad ever. He surprises you everyday on how great of a dad he is to Daniel, and when it comes to Daniel, it just took him a week to start trusting Jeno fully and after a mont he was already calling him daddy. You are so thankful for having the two boys the you love the most in your life together.

“Mommy! Daddy! let’s go to the playground.” Your son says.

“Okay honey, but don’t run so fast.” You tell him.

You sit on a bench and look at your kid who is playing happily.

“He has grown a lot in just a year hasn’t he?” Jeno says placing his arm around your shoulder.

“Yes, he is so big now.” You say feeling nostalgic.

“And as beautiful as his dad.” Jeno says while winking.

“Idiot.” You laugh and give him a peck on the lips.

“I can’t wait until we make another one.” He giggles his eyebrows and laughs. You laugh back and give him another kiss.

“Daddy! stop kissing, come play with me.” You cute 6 year old says while standing his hand to his dad.

“I’m coming champ.” He gets up and kiss your lips once again again, to what your so makes a disgusting face. You both laugh and you watch him hold your son’s hand.

They start playing with the ball and you look at them filled with joy and loved, you look at you hand and admire the beautiful engagement ring that Jeno gave you 3 months ago. The proposal was simple but beautiful, you were walking around Jeju Island when out of nowhere he asked you to marry him and you obviously said yes. The plans for the wedding have been going well, you are taking things slow so you can have time. Daniel is the most excited about the wedding and always wants to be involved in everything. You are so thankful that everything has been going

so well, Jeno and Daniel have the most beautiful bond ever and you are lucky to have the most caring dad to your kid and future husband on your side.

101 notes · View notes

cathrrrine · 3 years

Text

Otherworldly | SPN x The Witcher

Originally from my AO3

CHAPTER 2 - If It Isn't The Butcher

----

“She sent us here?”

The three of them were now seated in a tavern, not unlike the bars they were used to, but a little less cleaner than what they preferred.

”Atë sent us here.” Red confirmed. She recalled the conversation she had with her sister.

—

”She’s not here for games. She’s here to destroy the world.”

Red turned to her sister, Natalia, who looked as disheveled as an unattended child; hair messy, bags under her eyes, food staining her shirt and crumbs from the sandwich she ate before stuck at the edges of her mouth. She hadn’t showered or eaten properly for days, engrossed with her research on Atë.

Red, the ever caring sister, handed her a cup of coffee. ”Drink.”

”You’re not listening-“

”Drink. Then I will listen.” Red repeated. It wasn’t a request. Natalia sighed, knowing full well that her sister wouldn’t take no for an answer. Her hand reached for the cup, much to the satisfaction of her sister, and she took a sip of the warm beverage.

”Good. Now, what did you say?”

”Atë. She’s here on a mission to take what isn’t hers.” Although her words made Red’s spine shiver, she did not display her fear. Instead, she took the hair brush on the table and ran it through her sister’s hair.

Both of them had red hair, Natalia’s a few shades lighter than Red’s. But although they had the same hair colour, they didn’t share the same texture. Natalia inherited their mother’s straight and silky hair, while Red took to their father’s soft and curly hair. The two of them inherited the red from their father, who was a kind yet stern man.

Both their parents were dead now. They were all they had left. Well...except for the Winchesters, who came into their lives a few years back.

“She’s done this before. In 1834, look.” Natalia showed the proof from her laptop screen. Indeed, it was true. It was a report about a woman with a description that matched Atë’s. “She burned houses, people, crops...she took babies just to murder them. Atë kills and conquers.”

“There’s no doubt she came back to do this again. She wants to cause chaos. That’s all she knows.”

“There’s also something else.” It took Natalia a few clicks on her laptop. “It’s been said that she can send people to another universe.”

“What, like with aliens and shit? ”

“Maybe. It’s not impossible. If we’re not careful, she’ll send us off to wherever she wants to. And then we won’t be able to save the world from her antics.”

They shared a look. Fear was evident im their eyes.

“She’s extremely powerful.” Natalia sighed. “But we need to fight her.”

—

“This wasn’t an accident. She does this to people. Goddess of Mischief, remember?” Red scoffed, taking another swig of water. She would’ve gone for ale, like the white-haired man who lead them here, but she didn’t have any money. At least, none that were worth in the world she was in. So, instead she asked for water, which was fortunately costless.

“How do we get back?” Sam was worried, Red noticed. He never really put his emotions on display, but she’s known him long enough to point out his tells. If he was worried, his eyebrows would knit together subconsciously and he would constantly run his hands through his hair.

Red put her hand over his, and he looked up at her with a smile in his eyes. He intertwined their fingers together, and she stroked his hand with her thumb. It wasn’t an uncommon thing between them. Every time they noticed the other was nervous or scared, they would reach for the other’s hand.

“We have to find a witch.” said Red. “If we were back in our world, Rowena would be able to help us. We need to find someone as powerful as her.”

“Do they even have witches?”

“We could always...” she trailed off as her eyes landed on the person she was looking for. “...ask.”

“Him? Are you kidding me?” Dean shook his head disapprovingly. “He didn’t want anything to do with us.”

“I could ask.”

“No.” Sam gave her hand a squeeze. “He could kill you. We don’t know him.” It was a joke, but there was a hint of truth in there.

Red returned the squeeze, as if to say ‘Don’t worry’. Then she stood up to walk over to the Witcher’s table before they could protest further.

“Not much for company, I see.”

The man ignored her, but she knew he was listening. “We need your help.”

“I’ve helped you enough. You want any more of my services, you pay.”

She started to feel hopeless, but at the back of her head she heard her sister scolding her for giving up too early. “You know we don’t have the money. We’re not from your world.”

He acted as if he was unbothered.

“Listen.” She seethed, frustrated with the way he was treating her. “All we need to do is find a witch. Then you can leave us from there. You said you’re a Witcher, do you know anything about magic?”

The corner of his lips twitched, a laugh threatening to start. “Witchers hunt and kill monsters. What you’re looking for is a mage.”

“A mage?” Red took the seat across him and sat down, forcing him to look in her eyes. “We’re looking for a powerful one. Can you lead us to them?”

His amber eyes seemed to glow in the darkness of the tavern. He wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of helping the three strangers, but he did not like the idea of stringing along dead weight. He had jobs to do.

“No.” He hummed, downing the glass of ale right after to avoid looking at the woman in front of him.

“No? Seriously?” She didn’t yell, but it seemed like she was close to it. “Okay, what do you want? Besides money.”

“I want you to go away.”

“We don’t know anyone else in this world.”

“You don’t know me either.” That was true. They didn’t even know each other’s names. He stood from his seat and grabbed his things, making a beeline for the exit. She followed suit, hot on his heels.

Red was pissed off. “At least tell me where I can find a mage!”

“Pay.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She groaned. “Haven’t you heard anything I said? We’re lost! We don’t know anything about your world.”

They were already out the door, him at the front, trying to block out her voice.

“Look, please, just listen to me. Our world is in danger. We need to go back to save it.”

He knew a few things about saving. At this, he stopped in his tracks, contemplating. Red almost cried in relief when he did.

“If we don’t get back soon, the world- our world, will suffer. There’s someone who wants to destroy it and we’re the only ones who know how to stop her.” The last part wasn’t completely true. They were the only ones who knew what she was going to do to their world, but they didn’t know how to stop her yet. “Please.”

He turned, hearing the desperation in her voice. He gazed into her eyes, filled with a fire that he recognised all too well.

“Oi, that’s the Butcher!” A voice cried from their right. It was a man, obviously drunk, and he was dragging along a sword. The Witcher sighed, a scowl starting to creep on his face. He knew he would face something like this.

“If it isn’t the Butcher.” Another voice yelled. Red went silent, recognising the venom in the tone of the random man’s voice.

“Butcher?” She whispered.

At least half of the townspeople stopped in their tracks when they noticed the ‘butcher’, and a few men crowded around them.

“Get inside.” The Witcher growled to Red, but she couldn’t hear him among all the noise that the crowd was causing. The tension was thick, and Red reached slowly for her blade, ready to defend herself.”

“You’re no welcome here. You know that.” The drunk man slurred.

“I was here for a job. I seek no trouble.”

“No trouble? You’re presence is trouble itself.”

“Back off. I was just leaving.” But the drunk man wasn’t listening. He took his sword and swung. The Witcher dodged it, taking out his own sword from it’s sheath. They fought, the Witcher obviously winning, but he wasn’t planning on killing anyone today. He waited for the right moment before throwing a forceful punch his way, knocking the drunk man out immediately.

Red watched as the scene unfolded, not realising when a couple of men crept up behind her.

“You a friend of his?” One of them breathed, close to her neck. She whipped her head around, her face inches away from his. She took two steps back, trying to assess the situation.

“So what if I am?” She questioned.

“Then you just found yourself some trouble, missy.” In the blink of an eye, he swung a blade her way, missing her by inches when she managed to dodge it in time.

She rolled her eyes. “Can’t I get a break?”

Red attacked him, plunging her knife into his thigh. It wasn’t enough apparently, because he stood up fine, pouncing at her once again. She was quick to twirl her body around and kick him in the face, so hard that she could feel his teeth through her boot.

He fell, spitting out blood. It was a move that she used frequently while hunting, and it never failed to knock her victims out—whatever the species.

Another man moved to attack her from the back, this time she was caught off-guard. He had wrapped his arm around her neck, choking her. Just as she was struggling to stab him, his suddenly grip weakened. Red turned around to see Sam, holding a piece of hard wood that he used to hit the man on the head.

They shared a wordless grin for a second before resuming the fight. Dean had also joined, kicking and throwing punches. There were at least a dozen of men who were attacking them all. Why? The three humans didn’t have a clue. But they fought anyway.

Red turned to look for the Witcher, and was surprised when she found him struggling in a chokehold. He seemed strong enough to hold his own, but she ran his way and punched the side of his choker’s head, feeling the crack of her knuckles as it connected with his skull. It was enough to disorientate him.

“I had that.” The Witcher grumbled.

“Oh, yeah, sure you did.” She taunted, turning back to the man and kicking him in the stomach, then again in the face.

The Witcher stared at her, millions of thoughts popping into his head. Maybe she wasn’t dead weight after all.

Maybe he would consider helping her.

#YEAH I SUCK AT FIGHT SCENES OKAY #the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #just realised i tagged the others as xreader....it's not an xreader fic #im too lazy to go change them #sam winchester #sam winchester x oc #dean winchester #dean winchester x oc #supernatural x oc #supernatural x the witcher #spn x the witcher #so many x's #witcher netflix #geralt fanfic #geralt of rivia #geralt x ofc

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inkweaver22-blr · 3 years

Text

Phew! Here’s chapter 15!

I’m not sure how I feel about this one so let me know what you think!

AO3 Link

Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Fifteen: Distressing Encounters

Tang faces a foe more powerful than Lady Bone Demon.

----------

Tang ran his fingers through Xiaotian’s fur as the young monkey slept. He smiled at the content look on the kid’s face.

He didn’t like this timeline.

These quiet moments of safety and peace were becoming increasingly infrequent this cycle. Tang did his best to be a comforting presence for his son, but the threat of their enemy always loomed in the back of everyone’s minds.

Tang looked at the clock and sighed. If he was going to get any work done before the shop opened he would have to get going soon. Tang placed a kiss against Xiaotian’s forehead before standing to leave.

“Baba?”

Xiaotian was looking up at Tang with half open eyes, obviously still more asleep than awake.

“Go back to sleep, Xiaotian,” Tang said as he resumed running his hand through his kid’s fur. “I was just checking on you before I left.”

“Where ya goin’?”

“I need to head to the shop early to do some paperwork. You don’t need to be up yet.”

“M’kay,” Xiaotian slurred, already falling back asleep from the sensation of Tang stroking his head. “Be safe.”

“I will.” Tang leaned over and placed another kiss on Xiaotian’s head. “I love you.”

“Love you.”

Tang’s heart leapt. It was the first time Xiaotian had confessed his feelings to him this cycle. He smiled down at the once more sleeping figure.

He probably wouldn’t remember this conversation later, but Tang was proud of how much progress Xiaotian was making. The amount of emotional trauma he had been subjected to this cycle was immense. That his loving spirit hadn’t been extinguished was a miracle. Tang was going to do his absolute best to nurture that spirit back to full strength no matter what.

Tang left the apartment and made his way to his antique and artifact repair shop. He was Tripitaka once again this cycle and seemed to have developed a knack for tinkering with relics over the years.

Pigsy, in contrast, was a semi-retired mercenary who liked to hang out at the shop when he had nothing else to do. It was an interesting change in dynamics with Tang being the busy one with a shop while Pigsy loitered around distracting him.

Not that he minded seeing his husband for most of the day.

Tang unlocked the shop and made his way to the back to put away his coat. He picked up several sheets of paper and began working on checking his inventory.

If it had only been Pigsy and himself swapped around, Tang might have found this cycle to be enjoyable. Unfortunately for nearly everyone, that wasn’t the case.

Tang frowned as he absently made a note to order more clockwork springs for his personal repair kit.

This timeline was… pretty bad. It seemed that there was some new crisis every week that would leave horrible emotional damage on anyone involved. Worse yet was the demon who was responsible for the majority of the trauma.

The Monkey King.

Tang shuddered as he remembered the first time he saw the cruel expression of the monster that wore the face of a member of his family.

Tang thought the cycles where he was the villain were bad enough, but at least he could choose to be reformed.

The Monkey King was a bloodthirsty and malicious foe that made any evil version of himself seem tame in comparison.

This anomaly in personality was the result of a plan hatched by Wukong and Macaque hundreds of years ago. Early on during the Journey to the West, the two monkeys had swapped places, with no one being the wiser. So while Wukong was off plotting his revenge against Heaven, Macaque was the one who learned humility and love from Tripitaka and the others.

The end result was the Monkey King being sealed under a mountain with his own staff by Macaque with the assistance of Queen Iron Fan and Red Son who wielded the Samadhi Fire.

Not without a steep price, however.

Macaque had lost his right eye. Red Son had almost been consumed by the sacred flames until Guanyin placed a hoop around the boy’s neck, sealing the flames and unfortunately his memories of being a demon as well. His parents were forced to keep him a bit at arms length to prevent the seal from breaking.

Tang clenched his pen as he thought about the more recent events.

Mei, who was being emotionally neglected by her parents, had witnessed Xiaotian’s adoptive father, the Yellow Wind Demon, being freed from his mink form. She had attempted to fight him, only to be blown away. Once she returned with her family’s spear, she managed to force the demon to retreat. Macaque had then proclaimed he would take her on as his student.

But the worst was yet to come.

Yellow Wind Demon tricked Xiaotian into removing the staff that was sealing the Monkey King away. It was then that the horrible truth had been revealed.

Xiaotian was a clone of the Monkey King.

Tang had to stop and take a few breaths as nausea rushed through him. Luckily Xiaotian had become independent enough that the Monkey King couldn’t just dispel him, but that didn’t stop Tang from having nightmares about it.

Mei and Red Son had rushed off to save Xiaotian from Monkey King’s clutches, and Tang had followed after them. The pure hate the demon monkey had sent his way when he had recited the tightening sutra for the first time in all the cycles to rescue the kids would be seared into his memory for years to come.

Xiaotian had turned against his creator and now lived with Tang and Pigsy in their apartment. The trauma of being a copy of that monster was still strong, but Tang intended to smooth it out with endless kindness and love.

Tang pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes as the image of a sinisterly grinning Monkey King filled his head once more.

He had been extremely lucky that he hadn’t been recognized as Tripitaka by the demon. He had no doubt the Monkey King would then stop at nothing to hunt him down for turning Macaque against him. Not that it had been too hard once he and the others had pointed out to Macaque how abusive the Monkey King was in their relationship.

Tang sighed as he tried to focus on his inventory list.

He hated feeling this powerless. The Monkey King was the most terrifying adversary he had faced across the timelines. Worse than even Lady Bone Demon and the Mayor. He was going to get ulcers from how worried he constantly felt.

The bell above the front door chimed, signalling an entering customer. Had he forgotten to keep the sign flipped to closed?

“I’m sorry,” Tang said, not turning from his paperwork. “But the shop is closed at the mome-”

A paw clasped around his mouth and a strong arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him close against someone. Tang dropped his papers as his glasses fell from his face.

“Hello Tripitaka,” a horrifyingly familiar voice said.

Tang turned in terror to see the sneering face of the Monkey King leaning close into his own.

“I missed you so much.”

No no no no no!

How had he found out?!

“Let’s go find Liu Er and the kid and go home now, hmm?”

Tang’s blood ran cold.

Monkey King didn’t want him dead. It was so much worse than that.

He wanted Tang to be a part of his twisted family with Macaque and Xiaotian.

The thought of being used against his old friend and son to make them comply made Tang’s pulse quicken.

He couldn’t let that happen!

Adrenaline rushed through him as previous years of fighting experience kicked in.

Tang shoved his foot back into his captor’s, managing to catch Monkey King by surprise and push him off balance. The strength of the Earth suddenly seemed to flow through him as he grabbed the demon’s arms and managed to throw him over his head into one of the displays on the wall.

Instinctively, Tang raised his hands as another power came forth. He quickly called out the tightening sutra while casting a binding spell simultaneously. The Monkey King snarled in pain as his fillet squeezed his head and ropes of golden-yellow light wrapped around him.

Tang waved his hands and recited another spell, summoning several domed barriers of light around the demon as he knew the ropes wouldn’t hold for long. He would worry about how he was doing this once he was out of danger and not running on autopilot

“You’ll regret that!” The Monkey King bared his fangs at Tang as he strained against the magic ropes, several of them already beginning to snap.

“The only thing I regret, Wukong,” Tang said coldly, his hands glowing golden-yellow as he began to manipulate the Earth beneath the shop, “was not being a good enough teacher to show you the error of your ways.”

The Monkey King snarled in defiance as two enormous slabs of rock burst through the floor and fused together around the barriers holding the demon. Tang rushed forward and placed the strongest seal he knew onto the makeshift prison.

It wouldn’t keep the insanely powerful demon trapped permanently, but it would buy Tang enough time to get to his husband and son and escape to somewhere safe.

Tang picked his glasses up and ran from the shop, placing another seal on the building itself for good measure. A few of the friendlier shopkeepers from the neighboring buildings were standing outside.

“Are you alright Tang?”

“We heard a loud crash coming from your shop.”

“The Monkey King is trapped inside,” Tang said a bit breathlessly. The shopkeepers looked panicked. “He’s after me. I need to get my family to safety. Can you make sure this street is evacuated before he escapes?”

“Holy shit!”

“Y-yeah! We’ll take care of it! Just go get somewhere safe!”

“Thank you. You all might want to stay away for a while as well in case he tries to use you to get to me,” Tang said. They all paled a little at that and quickly left after wishing him good luck.

Tang took off at a sprint towards his apartment. He had left his phone in the back of the shop with his coat. Hopefully it was still early enough that neither Pigsy or Xiaotian had left yet.

The adrenaline was quickly wearing off, and he felt the powers he had used ebb away entirely. Tang would have normally been endlessly fascinated at this new development, but the threat of the Monkey King was still hanging over him. He would have to examine what had just happened later once they were all somewhere safe.

There was an explosion in the distance, followed by an enraged roar.

Tang grit his teeth as he ignored the stitch in his side and ran faster.

He really didn’t like this timeline.

----------

And here we have the second most popular AU by @winterpower98, the absolute angst-fest that is the Swap AU.

The scene where Wukong shows up is directly referencing this comic that got commissioned by @stylishbutdefinitelyillegal.

I’m not sure if I managed to capture Tang’s thoughts on this timeline clearly or if I just managed to give a brief, crappy summary of it instead. :/

And what’s up with those powers from past cycles showing up? That’s certainly never happened before.

Guess we’ll have to wait and see!

Until next time!

#Ink Writes #Scattered Cicadas #Monkie Kid #Tang #Qi Xiaotian #Sun Wukong #winterpower98 #Swap AU #stylishbutdefinitelyillegal #LEGO Monkie Kid #Tang Monkie Kid

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ohmightydevviepuu · 4 years

Text

the last test and proof / part three

the celebration of @profdanglaisstuff continues 😘 and so does the NO! CURSE! RENAISSANCE!!

part one | part two | AO3

Things Emma and Hook Haven’t Talked About Yet:

1 - Neal 2 - The time she’d left him with a giant 3 - The time he’d left her in a cell 4 - Milah 5 - True. Love’s. Kiss.

The Time She Left Him With a Giant.

One in the morning. Emma was still watching the ceiling.

Two in the morning. Her eyes were dry. Open. Each time she closed them she could see the purple smoke, the way he looked at her. Each time she closed them she could feel the warmth, the light (the rainbow fucking light); she could feel his lips and his tongue and his fingers and his beard. The orgasm(s). The Feelings.

Emma wasn’t used to feelings, she knew this, it was not a mystery to her. She was strong, she was indifferent, fucking rolling with the fucking waves.

But.

It was weighing on her heart, screaming in time with her heartbeat. Apologies.

What was he apologizing for?

What the fuck was even happening?

True. Love’s. Kiss.

Emma had no one to talk to.

(That was a lie.)

She just--she chose not to. Maybe that should change. Be a part of something, et cetera.

Okay.

Except--

“Neal does have a point,” her mother said. “About the running.”

Whoa. “Whoa,” Emma said.

“I mean, you did leave Hook on the beanstalk.” A pause, a sip of coffee. “And in New York.”

“Yeah. But, Mary Margaret--” Emma gulped, swallowed “--Mom, I mean, you have to understand how it was with Neal. I had my reasons.”

“I’d like that, Emma,” Mary Margaret said, her eyes wide and her cheeks pink. “I’d like to understand." She put the coffee cup down on the little kitchen island and reached for Emma’s hand, pulling it into her own. “Tell me. Tell me everything.”

Emma gulped again. Looked at her mother’s hand wrapped around her own and what the hell, try something new, darling and all of that, so:

Emma told her. About the car. About the cons, the hotel rooms. Tallahassee and the watches. About giving birth chained to a bed in a prison hospital ward. The story spilled out--all the things about herself that Emma always let her mother assume but never know, because she still wanted her parents to be proud of her, to see the best of her, to want her. To not see the mess she had made of her life, to not think that maybe they’d been better off without her. Because she was still angry at them for the choices they’d made. She’d trusted Neal because she’d wanted someone to trust her, to love her, to put her first and it had ended badly and she’d looked into Killian’s eyes on that first day by the beanstalk and felt Feelings and saw all of it happening all over again.

Just another person she shouldn’t trust.

Just another person who would betray her.

Emma was the only person who would put herself first and she couldn’t take the chance she was wrong about that.

When she finished, Mary Margaret was crying. Both of them were, Mary Margaret still clutching her hand and Emma had her hand on top of her mother’s and it was, for the first time, a Moment. A mother-daughter moment. The coffee was cold and gross but Emma took a sip anyway as her mother wiped her eyes and straightened up.

“So what now?” Mary Margaret asked.

True. Love’s. Kiss.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Emma said. “Neal and I are over--”

“Obviously.”

“--and Hook and I, well, you saw what happened. Everyone saw.” Only Emma hoped everyone hadn’t seen what had happened in the restroom. That was--

“You and dad, like, literally walked off into the sunset and got married. After.”

True. Love’s. Kiss.

--that was complicated.

Apologies.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Mary Margaret said, making a noise. It was--it was like a mom noise. Like an I’m not mad I’m disappointed kind of thing. “That’s not what happened and you know it. Our road after the curse was almost as bumpy as the one that led to it. And I think I know you well enough--I hope I do--to know that’s not what you want. Not yet. Maybe not ever?”

Emma looked up at her mother, her eyebrows raised, and shrugged.

“What did Killian say?”

“We haven’t, um, talked,” Emma said.

“But last night you--” Mary Margaret paused. “Oh.”

Emma tried to hide her blush and--well, she failed. Totally, if Mary Margaret’s pink cheeks and shy smile were anything to go by, like Snow-freaking-White just wanted her baby girl--her princess--to live happily ever after with the pirate, married or unmarried or fucking in the restrooms of the diner for all eternity.

Just be happy, whatever that meant.

But then--

Emma’s smile faded; Mary Margaret’s expression shifted, slowly, comprehension coloring her features.

Mary Margaret took a breath and exhaled it, slowly. “Emma, you know how you have those--”

Yes, for fuck’s sake. She knew. She knew, okay? WALLS. She had them.

“Seriously? You think I don’t know that? I literally just finished explaining to you--”

“Let me finish.” Mary Margaret made the noise again, the mom noise. “You have these walls, but everyone in Storybrooke has lost something. Not just you.”

Ouch. Thanks, mom. Could have gotten that from Regina, but, whatever. Okay.

“Neal--”

“I’m not talking about Neal,” Mary Margaret said. “You need to make peace with him. We all do--though I’m not looking forward to having this conversation with your father.”

Emma snorted.

“I’m talking about Hook. About Killian. Obviously.”

Obviously.

“You did leave him, Emma. You had your reasons, and a lot has changed since then.”

True. Love’s. Kiss.

“I’m just saying that you’re not the only one who might have, um, reservations.” Her mother shrugged, eloquently. It was the gesture of a Queen explaining something that should be obvious. (There was that word again.) Gently-laid breadcrumbs for a populace--or a daughter--who did not want to have things explained to them. All of that was fine and dandy except that Emma really, really did not like having her mother explain things, whether it was ogres or giants or pixie dust or Feelings. Especially when she was right--and she was, she was--and when it was obvious, all of the times she’d seen it spilling out of him, reflected in the windows of his eyes: the pain. The hesitation. The fear--of not being enough, not worth helping, not worth trusting.

Until--

Be a part of something.

The fear of being not worth even a goodbye but then she’d looked at him on the town line as he waited, as he said nothing even though they might never have seen each other again and she was the one who’d been afraid. Who’d missed him, even though he wasn’t gone yet.

When I win your heart, Emma--

And he had.

“Mom!” Henry called to her as Emma stood in the sunlight on Main Street, blinking, needing to wash away the leftover cold coffee still lingering in her mouth. They walked into the diner as Emma tried to ignore Granny and her lascivious grin--wait, how good was a werewolf’s hearing, exactly?--but she couldn’t ignore Hook sitting on a stool at the edge of the counter, especially when the bell rang over the door and she looked forward and he looked up and their eyes met. There was a beat but then he smiled, softly, tentatively.

Emma waved. Tentatively.

Henry, who was much smarter than an eleven-year-old had any right to be, looked from Emma to Hook and back again and said, “Why don’t we invite Killian to eat with us?”

“What?” Emma looked down at him and his serious face and it wasn’t what she expected, to have her kid trying to set her up with Captain Hook. Shit, maybe he had heard her and Neal fighting last night, or maybe he just wanted her to be happy. “Sure you’re okay with that, kid?”

Henry smiled. “I just want you to be happy,” he said.

Huh.

Emma’s eyes were back on him--on Killian--and she cocked her head and crooked her finger at him, her smile widening as she did it. There was a dirty joke in there and she knew it and he definitely knew it because she saw his jaw muscle twitch and his eyes light up before his smile grew, wide and bright and less hesitant as he slid from the stool and walked toward Emma and Henry.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hello,” he said.

That was it, nothing else, and they just--they stared at each other for a couple of seconds, grinning stupidly, Emma could feel it on her face and she was almost sure she heard Granny start swearing as she watched them until Ho--Killian cleared his throat and said to Henry, “I trust you’re feeling well, lad?”

Henry shrugged, like having his heart pulled out of his body and getting his soul transposed with a demon’s was all in a day’s work or whatever, and all of that was before The Curse and the Breaking Of The Curse. “I’m okay,” he said. “Can I have chocolate milk with my cereal?”

Emma laughed. “How about some lunch? Maybe some protein?”

Henry just deadeyed her because he totally knew she was going to order grilled cheese so she said, “Fine, kid. Whatever you want. Just don’t tell Regina, okay?”

“What are you going to have?” she asked H--Killian, and his entire face did this thing where it softened and some of the tension he was still carrying in his shoulders dissipated because she hadn’t--because she wasn't mad at him, or something.

They’d spent months as adversaries because of her, because she’d left him and couldn’t trust herself and then--six days--six days where everything shifted underneath their feet, constantly, and an epic fuck wasn’t going to fix or undo all of that in spite of True Love’s Kiss and Emma needed to take a goddamn breath and just--yeah. She watched his fist clench and unclench under the table and as she reached for his arm--as she let herself reach for his arm, trailed her hand down to his wrist and wrapped her fingers around the cool metal of his hook. He stiffened all over and then exhaled, not taking his eyes off Henry but his leg shifted just so until their toes were almost touching and she could feel the heat of him along her thigh and her shin and she knew.

When I win your heart, Emma--and I will win it--

If she let Killian Jones into her life, he would never leave her. She had a choice; she could choose to see the best in him.

It will be because you want me.

She could let him see the best in her.

And then the fun could begin.

@katie-dub @thisonesatellite @shireness-says @spartanguard @optomisticgirl @kmomof4 @karl0ta @withaheartfulloflove @therealstartraveller776 @mariakov81 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @carpedzem @captain-emmajones

#cs fic #3b divergence #no curse renaissance #the dev collective

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crossdressingdeath · 5 years

Text

Okay I’ve had a very long day and people are being super defensive of JC on my dash so uh. I’m gonna talk shit about him for a bit. Because it’ll make me feel better. And I don’t want anyone arguing with me about this so I’ll put it behind a cut and if you don’t want to read someone talking shit about JC in a super unstructured manner then... don’t click read more, I guess?

So here’s one thing, to start. In The Untamed specifically, I can argue with near-absolute certainty that JC killed WWX. LWJ had him, and that guy is insanely strong; I don’t doubt for a second he could’ve pulled WWX up if he’d been given the chance. Maybe JC didn’t put a blade through WWX’s heart himself, but if he had stayed out of it WWX probably would’ve lived. I don’t know how long he would’ve lived, and I doubt he would’ve thanked LWJ for saving him, but he probably wouldn’t have died on that cliff. Hell, killing him quickly might have been a kindness; I’m not an expert on how far you have to fall to die instantly on impact and I don’t know how high that cliff was, but depending on how he landed and if he bounced off anything on the way down it’s possible (though maybe not likely) that WWX wouldn’t have died right away. If I had to choose between a quick death via a blade through a vital part or a more lasting death via serious internal damage from a very long fall... Yeah, I’d take the stabbing. Obviously I’m not saying that not being able to go through with killing his brother makes JC a bad person; I’m just saying that when his choices were doing nothing (which, reminder, here means letting LWJ pull WWX up (or at least try to)), helping LWJ save his brother, finishing WWX off quickly (JC is trained in combat, I’m sure he knows where to stab for the most merciful death possible under those circumstances), or letting WWX fall to his death... I just find it interesting that JC chose the latter.

Hell, even before that, if JC had done something sooner a whole lot of pain could’ve been avoided. (We’re out of the Untamed-exclusive stuff, by the way.) Now, I get that as a very new sect leader of a sect that was almost obliterated JC’s position is... precarious, to say the least. However! An awkward position doesn’t automatically mean he can pretty much abandon his brother! That is not how familial ties work! Especially when he never takes WWX’s position (which was equally precarious if not more so) into account while talking about how WWX abandoned him.

Put yourself in JC’s shoes for a moment, here. Most of your family is dead. Your brother, you know, was thrown into a hell pit and hasn’t been seen for three months. Then, joy of joys, you find him again! Except now your ever-cheerful, ever-kindhearted brother can raise the dead and, oh yeah, has spent all his time since escaping the hell pit that no one survives torturing people to death with demonic cultivation. What do you do in this situation? I’m fairly sure your answer was not “Throw him on the front lines as your most valuable weapon without giving him so much as a chance to come to terms with all the horrible things that have clearly happened to him”. Yes, yes, they were in the middle of war, but you don’t get to throw your very obviously messed up brother onto the front lines and then be shocked when there are serious consequences for doing that.

Also, going back to positions: People talk a lot about how JC’s position was so difficult, and I’m not saying it wasn’t, but... here’s the thing. WWX’s position was so much worse. JC is the sect leader of an old and powerful sect. The Jiangs might have lost a great deal, but there are still alliances he could call on, favours he could probably cash in, treasures reclaimed from the Wens he could use... He’s not exactly helpless. He has to be careful, but he’s not entirely defenseless. Meanwhile, WWX is the incredibly powerful demonic cultivator with a dangerous weapon everyone wants to get their hands on and a brother he’s known to have a somewhat strained relationship with. We see in canon that the sects are actively hunting for a chance to get their teeth into him after the Sunshot Campaign wraps up. All WWX has is his own power and JC’s support. I keep coming back to what JGY says at the temple, about how JC made WWX an easy target by making it obvious their relationship was rocky, and... he’s right. I doubt JC intended to do it, but he made it very easy for the sects to split WWX off from him. And while JC was still a sect leader and largely untouchable, WWX was infinitely more vulnerable. Again, I doubt he meant to paint a target on his brother’s back, but the fact that he missed it in favour of getting pissy about WWX being better than him yet again says something about him.

The fact that he says there’s nothing he can do after WWX absconds with the Wen remnants says... something else. Now, I’m terrible with politics; while he definitely should have supported his brother in a perfect world, with a sect to look after and JGS hunting for weak points I genuinely don’t know if he could have at that point. (Again, I really do think he should’ve tried to step in before things got to this point, but... well, he didn’t. No use crying over spilled milk and all that.) So okay, he couldn’t do anything. I’ll take him at his word; if nothing else, I can believe he was too bad with both politics and people and too inexperienced to find a way to step in. But he then takes his brother’s request to remove him from the Jiang sect to avoid any trouble coming to their doorstep and goes off and tells the sects that his brother is a traitor. Let me put that another way. He tells the people who are looking for an excuse to murder his brother and take his writings and inventions for themselves that his brother has betrayed them. I think we have reached the point where malice and stupidity become impossible to tell apart. Honestly, I can only see two possible thought processes for this: Either he actually wants to bring the sects down on WWX’s heads (unlikely) or he’s so terrible at politics that he genuinely didn’t realize what the logical result of his words would be (more likely, but means his parents did a terrible job of teaching him how to be a sect leader). Although, given he apparently spent enough of the 13 years between WWX’s death and resurrection spending so much time torturing demonic cultivators to death because either he thought they might be WWX or they just reminded him of him that most of the citizens in his territory are too scared to go to Lotus Pier for help unless they’re in imminent life-threatening danger I don’t think you can argue he was a good sect leader by any stretch...

Oh! Speaking of parents and teaching: Jin Ling. Now, part of this might be a cultural thing that I’m not familiar with, but JC is an absolutely god-awful guardian. Pretty much all he does is insult JL, belittle him, or threaten him. Yeah, he cares in his own way, but take it from me: When your parents (or uncle, in this case) spend most of their time insulting you but also keep you safe from any external danger and do their best to help you grow, you don’t end up a happy, well-adjusted adult; you end up miserable and confused because you can’t hate or like the person raising you and get stuck between love and resentment. JL is clearly desperate for affection, but he can’t admit that to anyone. It’s no surprise he mourns for JGY so deeply even after everything; the guy was pretty much the only one in the poor kid’s life to treat him with open, honest affection before he met WWX! The comparison between him and Sizhui (as the only other child raised by the main cast) is striking; even though LWJ seems like he should be just as bad a parent, he raises Sizhui with love and kindness, and so did WWX before him. And the result is... so very different. Sizhui is the very goodest of boys and I love him with all my heart. Anyway, it’s no wonder JL gravitates towards WWX and defends him once he’s gotten past his initial reaction of stabbing the guy; WWX is so open and explicit with his affection! Is he a perfect parent? No, probably not. But he focuses more on making it clear to his army of juniors that he loves them and respects them as people and wants them to be happy with where they end up in life than he does on making them fit his image of what they should be. Of course someone who’d be raised with JC copying his mother and constantly getting on their case about not being good enough would gravitate towards someone like that.

Okay, this is getting long. Last point: WWX has to put in so much emotional labour in their relationship even before everything goes tits up? The best example for me is the scene where WWX promises they’ll be together forever, Twin Heroes of Yunmeng, the huge promise that both JC and an annoyingly large portion of the audience think he should’ve kept no matter what. Yeah, out of context it’s very sweet, but in context? WWX has just barely recovered from the fight with the Xuanwu. He’s been conscious for... maybe an hour, at most? He nearly died. And yet he has to drag himself out of bed to chase JC through Lotus Pier to comfort him because JFM was paying more attention to WWX. Who, again, almost died. JC is so busy being pissy about this that he forces his brother, still recovering, to chase him through Lotus Pier to comfort him for something their parents did. Most of the time, JC has a right to be upset that JFM so obviously prefers WWX. Looking in from the outside the situation is clearly more complicated than he paints it, but I don’t blame him for not seeing how bad things are for the rest of the family. ...I know that sounds sarcastic, but I do mean it. His siblings are very good at hiding how badly their family situation has hurt them. Anyway, though, on this one occasion I am entirely on JFM’s side here. WWX threw himself into danger so JC wouldn’t have to go to the indoctrination camp alone even though he didn’t have to, then some time later JC returns alone and informs him that WWX is trapped in a cave with the Xuanwu of Slaughter, then when JFM finally manages to reach him the Xuanwu is dead and WWX is all but dead. I 100% do not blame him for focusing on WWX in this situation! He did something fully-grown cultivators with far more experience failed at and almost died in the process! Given JC must be... what, 16 at the youngest, probably older by this point? I would expect him to grasp that. He’s old enough to have developed empathy. Hell, he should be right there with his father and sister, proud of WWX’s accomplishments and relieved to see him awake and recovering. Instead, WWX has to drag himself through Lotus Pier and swear to stay by JC’s side for the rest of their lives just to get him to stop sulking because WWX was better than him yet again.

...Yeah, as you might have grasped, I don’t think WWX had any obligation to uphold that promise. He shouldn’t have been expected to be tied to Lotus Pier by a vow he made as a teenager to get his brother to cheer up. In fact, a very large part of me wishes he’d broken it sooner. Comparing the way JC treats him to the way the Wens and LWJ treat him (setting aside that those are of course very different kinds of love) I can’t help but think things might have gone infinitely better for him if he’d found a different family a lot earlier.

#anyway no discourse on this post pls #this is just me screaming into the void about my deepseated dislike of all this stuff acting like he's a flawless character #grapehate

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mutantsrisingrpg · 5 years

Photo

Congratulations ANTHONY! You’ve been accepted as DIONE.

Excuse me as I scream because you finally brought us a Finn, Anthony! Finn is a character that is filled with a lot of complexities and you touched upon beautifully within your app. Life for them has not been kind, and yet they continue to look for that family they’ve never had. And let me just say, Finn’s intelligence? Chef’s kiss. They know they’re smart and they use it to their advantage to get what they want - which is the exact reason our dearest Alma picked them out of all the possible mutants.

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

Out of Character Information:

NAME/ALIAS: Anthony

PRONOUNS: He/Him

AGE: 19

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: I can be pretty active most days except for Tuesdays and Thursdays!

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Finn Croix | Dione

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Genderqueer | He/They

DETAILS & ANALYSIS:

Dione, the deity of the springs, and a water goddess. She’s tied with Finn’s first name due to Fionn mac Cumhail (Fionn being where Finn comes from) gaining wisdom from an enchanted salmon. Also, Dione was an oracle, and Fionn had wisdom. Another thing is that Croix, which means cross, and it’s said that Fionn isn’t dead, but is resting and waiting for a horn to be blown three times, similiar to how in Christianity, Gabriel must blow the horn three times to signal the end of the world. Next, Fionn gets white hair, and maybe Finn was born with white hair, so they shaved it off to not be as noticed as others.

For me, Finn is a very complex individual. They have grand things they can accomplish in their life, but also, they are very comfortable not doing any of them. They are where they want to be, when they want to be there. Another thing is how they relate to people in life. Finn in my eyes, doesn’t like to get close to most people. They like to push off, to not get close, unless they choose to. But at the same time, I feel like they are very warm and caring with those they have chosen to love. The first two lines of their aesthetic says that to me. Also, I feel like Finn doesn’t like to truly settle down. They may stop at one place, but never truly stay. For them, life is the ability to be free. To not be tied down, unless they choose to. And I feel like, Finn has chosen to be tied to where they are now. That’s what the next two lines say. The final line, I feel like is how Finn feels, about everything. They’ve been forgotten their whole life, and don’t really know what to do. Other people forget them, and feel bad about it, but don’t really change things, unless they want to get rid of the feeling.

BIO:

Finn Croix is the fourth son of the Croix family. They were born, one horribly storm day in the middle of August. By the time their one-month old mark rolled around, they looked almost nothing like their siblings. Incredibly pale, white hair, the only thing that showed Finn was even related was their dark brown eyes. However, to most of their family, it didn’t matter. They were just another Croix kid, and they belonged. It did matter to their mom, Etna, though. She wanted Finn to look like her, to be like her, to be born a girl. That never happened. Etna kept her distance, too greatly disappointed by her final child not being the little girl she had been praying for. So, she kept her distance from her youngest, confusing Finn as they grew up, not sure what they had done wrong.

By the time they were five, Finn had learned not to talk to mother unless spoken to first, not to bother father unless it was life or death, and that their brothers were ride-or-die to a degree. They also knew that, regardless of anything else, the evilest people on the planet were, of course, Mutants. As long as they never associated with that group, they would be fine, in the long run. That choice was taken away from them.

One day, while Finn and their brothers were playing outside, their eldest brother, Daniel, accidentally started a fire. Finn, to this day, isn’t actually sure that Daniel meant to start it. All they know is, one second, Daniel’s doing something, and then next there’s a giant fire and Patrick, Finn’s brother barely older than them, is crying. After that, Finn heard people yelling around them, obviously scared of what just happened. However, Finn was more worried about Patrick, so they rushed to his side, and somehow, miraculously, made the burn marks that had already started to form on Patrick’s hand, cool down.

In the long run, this was not a smart thing to do.

After the event was immediately over, Finn was pulled away from Patrick, along with Daniel. They were both brought before their father and mother. Their mother, who had obviously just gotten finished crying, and their father, who looked furious. Their father, Daniel Sr., was quick to inform them that they were no longer to call either of their parents’ “father” or “mother” and that they were no longer “true Croix’s.” Daniel Sr. went on to explain that both of them would be separated, one sent the Croix’s in France, and the other, to the Cullen’s in New York. Then, they were sent to their rooms, and that was the last time that Finn saw their brother, Daniel, in person.

After that, it was a whirlwind of things happening. Finn quickly found out that they were staying with Etna’s parents, the Cullen’s. They also found out from Baptiste, the second oldest Croix child, that the Cullen’s were of the opinion that the only good mutant was a dead one, and the only good alive mutant was one who was constantly in full control of their powers. Another thing they found out is that they would no longer be able to contact their siblings. Finn was lost. No friends, no contact with their brothers, what was there left?

At the age of six, Finn was fully moved in with their grandparents. They also learned a new set of rules. Their grandfather was only to be referred to as Alastar, their grandmother, Kennedy. They were not to touch anything in the house freely without permission, except in their room. They had a tight schedule on what Finn was allowed to do, and if Finn missed something? They would be punished, and not lightly. They had training every day to master their powers, to learn the self-control needed to no longer be a danger to society.

By the time Finn was eight, they had learned more prayers and hymns to help keep themselves in balance when they feel they are about to have an episode, than they had friends in the world. And they didn’t know a lot of prayers or hymns. By the time they were nine, they had a strong mastery over their powers, and were granted some freedoms. One of those being to go back to public school. By the time they were ten, they were allowed to make a choice. They could stay with their grandparents, or go back to their parents. They decided to stay with their grandparents, because the evil you knew was better than the evil you didn’t.

School was a breeze for Finn, for the most part. They weren’t messed with in class, due to the strong fear that everyone had to them being mutant. The classes were also pretty easy, due to their grandparents refusing to have a grandchild that didn’t understand the subjects they were being taught. By the time Finn was in the eleventh grade, they had the top scores in the class, with no problem, and were considered to be the only viable choice for the valedictorian. When twelfth grade rolled around, the rules changed though. Suddenly, at the age of 70, Alastar Cullen, had a heart attack. Two days later, he was dead. Three days after that, Kennedy Cullen was found dead from taktsubo cardiomyopathy, or, heart break.

Finn didn’t know what to do. They had just turned 18, were about to graduate from high school, and both their guardians were dead. When the wills for both of their grandparents were finally discussed, it was found that the Cullen’s had left nothing except a few thousand dollars to Finn, and everything else to Finn’s brothers, Baptiste and Patrick. It was the first time that Finn had seen them in years. However, Baptiste seemed disinterested, and Patrick wasn’t allowed to talk to them. Then, they were kicked out of their grandparent’s home, as they were no longer welcomed there. By the time that everything had settled, with the will reading and Finn getting kicked out, Finn had lost the only “family” they had, their safety of a home, and their position as valedictorian due to not being able to keep up with the course work. They were still high in rank, but it wasn’t the same.

So, they moved. With only a few thousand dollars to their name, they began to travel the country. They had no steady job, just picking up random ones when a mutant needed help, or when someone wanted to do something illegal and needed a mutant who didn’t care too heavily about who they were hurting.

It wasn’t until around the age of 25, that they realized they weren’t happy. After a job gone wrong, where they had someone get scapegoated, did Finn realize that they weren’t helping anyone. They had been burned by their family, and, in turn, started burning fellow mutants. And for what? A bit of extra cash? They hated themselves for that. They began a side research project, once they had this realization. They quickly looked up areas where there were high mutant populations, where there was more acceptance to mutants, and where they could find a job with their specific skill set. It wasn’t hard to find a city like that.

Chicago was the haven for mutants, but was also losing ground as that haven. Then, Finn found the Big Three. The Blackburn Syndicate, the Jem family, and Kings Collective. The three most powerful groups in Chicago, with an underbelly, and the ability to help other mutants. That’s where Finn wanted to be.

They quickly finished up the jobs they had left in the current city they were in, and began to head towards Chicago. It wasn’t difficult to get there, and only slightly more difficult to find a way into the group they wanted. While the other two groups were good, they weren’t what Finn was looking for. The Jem Family believed in mutant supremacy, which Finn had never seen, and the Kings Collective who wanted to steal art, which they weren’t that interested in. No, they were interested in the protection that the Blackburn Syndicate offered. They quickly searched for a way to set up a meeting, but found they had no reason to. Their leader, Alma Rosario, found them first. She quickly offered a spot to Finn, in exchange for Finn to work for her. It was no question. Finn Croix, was now a member of the Blackburn Syndicate.

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS:

Rebeka York – Finn and Rebeka were never bound to get along. Too similar in powers, and Finn loving to annoy people at times, it was bound to not be a good friendship. However, that doesn’t mean that Finn doesn’t appreciate Rebeka’s gift. In fact, they see Rebeka as an equal, in terms of mutations, regardless of the differences between them.

Rahim Avery – Rahim and Finn are close, and Finn will fight someone for trying to say otherwise. To them, Rahim is a breath of fresh air. It’s nice, knowing that there’s someone on his danger level that they can relate to. It’s very nice, knowing that Rahim trusts them.

Abigail Imani – Abigail is, was, and always will be, the first friend that Finn had, that they felt safe enough to be themselves around. They miss Abigail, a lot more than their willing to admit. They knew, maybe from the beginning, that they wouldn’t stay friends, but it still hurt. However, it’s not like they stuck around to see what Abigail thought. Once they learned about Abigail being in Chicago though? It was like another thought went through their head. Maybe, just maybe, I can reconnect?

EXTRA:

Mock Blog

Playlist

Aesthetic Unsplash

Family Lineage

Headcanons

ANYTHING ELSE: I didn’t know if I needed to fill the OOC part again, so I did it just in case!

#accepted #accepted: dione

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petite-neko · 7 years

Text

Boyhood Blues - 04

Fanfiction: Boyhood Blues Story Summary: Actions, and inactions, have their repercussions. It may not be immediate but somewhere down the line, the effect will be seen. Chapter Characters: Law, Sabo, Luffy, Ivankov, Sakazuki, Ace, Jinbei, Bepo Pairing: LawLu Rating: T Warnings: Swearing, Universe Alteration, canon-typical violence, angst, A/N: I hope this is alright, I had to redo edits D< so. Here you all go.

.xxx. > Time/scene skip

.+++. > PoV change

Read on Ao3

Chapter 3 || Chapter 4: Brothers|| Chapter 5

Trafalgar Law didn’t have any time for questions. No, he just took the injured into his submarine and had them immediately prepped for surgery.

(The marines wouldn’t let them go this easily. No. No after the war that just happened. Not after Portgas D. Ace being declared at the son of Gol D. Roger. Not after Monkey D. Luffy being declared the son of Dragon the revolutionary.)

Ace was the worst of the trio. He had taken heavy damage to his side, and if the injury was anymore to the center of his body… (He wasn’t too sure if even he could repair the damage done…)

Jinbei wasn’t pretty either, a hole through and through. It would take a lot of work to heal that. But at least it was in a non vital area.

Luffy’s injuries weren’t light, (perhaps in comparison to the other two, yes, he was the least injured) he still sustained heavy damage, but repairable.

As he scrubbed himself down, Bepo was able to pick up on the anger that was practically radiating off of him.

(And angry he was… The Marines would do this to these boys? Merely on the basis of whom their parents were?)

(Who was he kidding? He was from Flevance after all. The Marines hadn’t changed, despite what Cora-san had said…)

“Captain, are you okay?”

Law sighed. “I’m just angry Bepo. Angry at the government. Let’s just go save these brothers, shall we?”

(And if he couldn’t save them, well, Trafalgar Law just had two more people to avenge.)

.xxx.

“…How are they?”

Law sighed at the repetitive question. He had been asked that by multiple people at once when Boa Hancock had boarded his submarine, demanding to know the condition of Mugiwara no Luffy. And then that person with the purple afro had also asked the same question but in the case of Ace and Jinbei. Thankfully, it was only the Snake Queen and this blond haired man that insisted upon remaining on his submarine’s deck, the others were aboard the stolen Marine ship. It was the blond haired man’s turn to ask this – but in the case of all three involved.

Law remembered seeing him. The man with the black claws that has succeeded in redirecting Sakazuki’s attack so that it was not immediately fatal. The man who had extended Ace’s life long enough to find medical attention.

(That attack however caused Ace to fall unconscious, and Luffy had just… assumed that Ace had died and proceeded to pass out in shock as well. And… that didn’t surprise him, no, because his memories of the two brothers had been becoming clearer and clearer as he mulled on them, and he remembered now, that these two brothers had been more. There had been three until…)

“Stable, for now.”

He didn’t want to imagine what it would be like when Luffy woke up however… (The boy had been through so much, as he had heard. He was informed of Luffy’s trials in Impel Down, and how he had been running on sheer adrenaline that entire war… And believing that he had lost yet another brother….)

It was going to be hell.

“My crew are constantly monitoring them. Ace sustained the worst of the damage, but I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss Jinbei and Luffy’s injuries as non life-threatening either.”

And the man relaxed. “They’re okay?” He let out a sob. “Thank god. Thank god…”

Ah, no… this was no ordinary man. Law realised now just where he recognised him. He was a revolutionary… ranked just below Dragon. The Chief of Staff...

“Why? Why did you do it? Why did you come here?”

Law blinked and shrugged. “A whim. Certainly, yes, I have history with these two brothers but…”

“Say no more!”

…Ah right, that person with the purple afro was Ivankov, weren’t they?

“Be glad ve have so many allies Sabo-boy!”

Law flinched as he heard the name. Sabo? Sabo?

“Luffy… Luffy calm down.” Ace’s arm was wrapped around the hysterical child.

Luffy was crying and screaming incoherently. Law could hardly understand what he was even saying, but he heard something about missing and not fair. And Sabo.

“Shh, I know Luffy. I know. I miss Sabo too, but we need to be strong for him. He wouldn’t want to see his little brother crying like this, would he?”

“Sabo wouldn’t want to see us like this at all Ace!”

And Law? All he could do was bring his legs up and buried himself deeper into his book about metal poisoning, trying to seem invisible. He couldn’t help but recognise Luffy’s actions as his own in his past… Had Sabo died?

It didn’t take long for his younger self’s suspicions to be confirmed with later visits by the brothers, and that Sabo’s death had really affected Luffy.

“…Sabo?” The name sounded foreign on his tongue. “Sabo-ya… isn’t that…?”

“…Yeah. Somebody Luffy and Ace knew as kids. Also happens to be my name, go figure.”

Law sighed and shook his head. “…No, not just somebody. He… was their brother, and he apparently died in an accident.”

“…A brother, huh?” Sabo said thoughtfully before wandering off.

.xxx.

Law didn’t know what to make of Sabo. He was perplexing and, well, he wondered just what his motivations were for helping Ace and Luffy. From what he knew, the second hand of the revolutionary army hadn’t been captured by the Marines, so just why was he at Marineford? It couldn’t be the fact that Luffy was Dragon’s son, because Sabo was already on the battle field before that was revealed…

He had begrudgingly let the revolutionary wander the ship – as long as he was accompanied by one of his crew members, and, well, he wasn’t looking forward to being that person whenever that time came. He didn’t know why but… there was just something he didn’t like about Sabo. Maybe it was the mystery surrounding him?

Meanwhile, he had Luffy’s hat in his hands, and he had been toying with it a little. Mugiwara… this was the reason for his moniker huh? Well, the kid had been wearing it even back then too, even if it was a little big and not as ragged looking as it was now. It had been important to Luffy, although why, he didn’t know (or remember if he had ever been told about it) but, he wasn’t the only one who seemed to know that it was important. That flying clown knew that too, didn’t he?

“Hey, isn’t that Luffy’s?”

Law flinched at the presence of the revolutionary. Dammit, he was hoping to avoid him until he had to…

“Yeah.” He said and ceased twirling it in his hands. “I’m holding onto it for him. Don’t worry, I left my sword in his care in it’s place.” (But not on his head, obviously.)

Sabo laughed and shook his head. “Nah, I wasn’t worried. So, how do you know them?”

“We met as kids every now and then.” He stated simply and looked at the hat in his hands. “After that, I had forgotten all about them until I encountered Luffy-ya at Sabaody a few days ago.”

“Oh! So you’re Torao!” Sabo was laughing. Laughing.

God damned idiot and not being able to pronounce his last name!

“…Apparently Luffy-ya has difficulties pronouncing things.” He sighed. Ah well, he had gotten used to it as a kid, so he couldn’t complain.

“You know, he doesn’t shut up about you.”

“…What?”

“Yeah, you were all he wanted to talk about as we travelled from Impel Down to Marineford.”

…Luffy was talking about him to others? Why? And when did he give that idiot permission… he better not have opened his mouth about…

“He was so excited to see you at Sabaody. I bet he will be when he wakes up too.” And more laughter from that damned revolutionary.

(Although now that he thought back to it… Luffy was rather enthusiastic back at the Auction House…)

“I can’t imagine why.” Law conceded with a shrug, and truthfully he couldn’t. “I mostly ignored him and his brother and read my books.” His life depended on it after all… Studying various poisons and genetic diseases, or whatever he could find on his devil fruit… “Not to mention, well, he’ll want to check in on Ace first. Shock was what caused him to pass out after all. It was the final straw, considering the stress he had put on his body.”

And Sabo nodded. “I… I understand him there.” His hand trembled. “If something happens to either of them…”

Law watched him carefully. He was a perplexing character. He didn’t seem to have any connection to Luffy or Ace and yet… he was so emotionally invested in this. Why?

“…Why did you help them Sabo-ya?”

“Huh? I… I guess it was similar to you, but not quite. I just… I had this urge. I had to stop the Marines. I couldn’t let Ace die. It just… unleashed this fury within me, and so I went to the nearest base and snuck aboard a ship…”

While Law could understand to some extent… he could also rationalise his own thoughts and reasons and behaviours. It was a way to get back at the government. At the Marines. And, well, he knew these brothers as well…

But Sabo? He couldn’t logically rationalise his actions one bit.

Unless Sabo knew about Luffy’s lineage, but he doubted that would be the case. Hell, even he didn’t know who Luffy’s father was. Not to mention, well, Luffy wasn’t even in the equation when Sabo decided to smuggle aboard a Marine ship…

So he shook his head. “I just… I don’t understand. Why you would do so much for men you don’t even know. Instinct? What caused that instinct? Or… do you just have a thing for righteousness?”

(He supposed that made sense considering the guy was a revolutionary after all…)

Sabo sighed and shook his head. “...No, it’s not that. Honestly, I... I don’t know. Just that when I read the paper that they were going to execute Ace something in me just... boiled with rage.” There was a sad smile on his face and the revolutionary placed a hand on the scar on his eye. “Ten years ago... I only have memories for the last ten years of my life. Maybe I experienced a trauma of execution as a child? Maybe it triggered some other sort of trauma? My feelings were the only thing that seemed to transfer over after I was involved in that incident which caused me to lose my memory.”

Ten years ago... isn’t that when...?

Law was starting to piece things together. It was making sense. If Sabo was in an incident traumatic enough to cause a loss of memory, it seemed feasible that people might think he had died. And since he didn’t remember...

“It… didn’t happen to occur in East Blue, did it?”

Sabo sighed and his hands clenched again. “...I know what you’re thinking. Iva brought it up too. But...” His gaze went towards the operating rooms. “Even if it’s what we all think it is... it’s better the way it is.”

Law’s hand clenched at the strawhat beneath his fingertips. “How? How is it better!” Why? Why was he so angry at this? This was just Luffy’s problem, not his. “Anybody would rejoice if their loved one wasn’t actually dead!”

Sabo sighed. “That’s just it. I’m not the Sabo they know and love. It’d just be like dangling a piece of meat where they can’t reach it. Can you imagine being told your brother or mother or father or whoever you lost was actually alive, but they don’t remember a thing about you? They don’t know your face or care about you, and may actually be a completely different person than you remember?” Sabo was clutching at his own hat now, pulling the brim down with taut fingers. “Or that it was just a maybe and may not even be true? How can I do that to them? To give them hope but brutally rip it from their grasps? How can I tell them I might be their Sabo but I don’t remember them? That there’s a possibility I might not even be that Sabo? They’ve been through enough right now.”

Law looked down at the hat in his grasp, fingers only tightening. No, Sabo was right. It was cruel to do that to the brothers. Law knew just how much they suffered. He heard it in their cries. He saw it in Ace’s eyes as he forced himself to stay strong. He knew what it was like to lose the people you cared about...

(That was probably why he had reacted that way. Jealous. He was jealous. Luffy and Ace had the chance at reuniting with a loved one they thought dead, and Law... he was angry that Sabo wasn’t allowing it to happen. What he would do to have Cora-san back… Or Lami... Or his parents... Or Flevance... and he didn’t think before he spoke.)

“…You’re a doctor, do you… do you know any way to remember what you have forgotten?”

Law looked at Sabo, and he realised that he wasn’t being mysterious just to be an ass, no he was just genuinely confused. (Just like he was.) He didn’t know what was going on, or why he was doing what he was doing, and he truly wanted to remember – especially if he was their long lost brother. And sadly, Law had to shake his head. “Memories are a strange thing. It all depends on where they were stored, and how they were stored and just what was the cause of your amnesia… If the memories or where they were stored were permanently damaged, or it was just simply the pathway was blocked, or even a subconscious decision or shock…”

Sure, he could transfer personalities along with their memories but…

“Let’s just say I doubt you’d be willing to lose who you are again just on a maybe.” And Law wouldn’t blame him if that was the case. Although, he did let a dark smirk slip past his features, “There are no documented cases of the Ope-Ope no Mi solving amnesia, and even if I was willing to attempt it, well it’s highly probable that things could go wrong.” He supposed it could work in theory – that was if memories were tangible to his ability and he could separate the personality from them. (But then again, where would that leave Sabo as he sifted through the memories?) “Not to mention I would have a great deal of knowledge about the revolutionary army once I finished.”

(And, finally, it probably required far more energy than he had at the moment. And whatever energy he did have had to be reserved if any of his patients took a turn for the worse.)

“I guess you’re right.” Sabo finally said with a soft chuckle. “I think I’ll leave it to nature… I think I sometimes almost remember… even if clouded by fog. Two boys calling my name… inviting me to go with them… foreign words and names whispered to me by a foreign voice… And it always seems to revolve around these brothers…”

And Law just nodded as it fell silent.

All they could do was wait after all.

#monkey d. luffy #trafalgar law #lawlu #portgas d. ace #sabo the revolutionary #one piece #fanfic:boyhoodblues #petiteneko:story #onepiece #tlaw #luffy #sabo #ace

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applejuizz · 4 years

Text

irrational goals x and x mindless illusions

after years of relentless searching, kaito has finally managed to find ging. as the two hunters pass the evening in the mountains, ging tells a story of his past. characters: ging freecss, kaito (kite) pairing(s): ging x gon’s momma (in the past!) no warnings word count: 1.880

pretty much my headcanons on what happened to gon’s mother.

“For all those years that I’ve known you, Ging-san, and I would’ve never guessed you have a kid.” Ging’s laughter, loud and brash bounced off the cave walls and scattered along with the howling winds. “And I thought you knew better than to make assumptions,” the hunter replied wittily, his large, amber stare glinting with amusement.

Kaito huffed out a short-lived smile and took a generous bite out of his freshly-roasted fish. He chose to let the crackling fire fill the silence as he masticated, carefully pondering over his next words.

“You’ve left one hell of a legacy behind, you know. He’s got your willpower and plenty of potential.” In response, Ging grunted through a mouthful of fish. “He’s good with animals as well. He’d make an excellent hunter.”

Kaito raised his gaze slightly to catch a reaction from across the vivid flames of the campfire. Maybe it had been just a product of the lights and shadows constantly dancing on Ging’s features, but he could’ve sworn that for a brief, insignificant moment, his master’s petrified expression had twitched. Now, whether it had been the ghost of a smile or a grimace, he couldn’t tell.

“Looks like my son did quite the impression on you,” remarked Ging, swallowing the last of his bite. “He is definitely something. I’m surprised how you were never curious enough to visit. Poor boy grew up thinking his parents were dead.” “Good.”

The sheer finality in the hunter’s tone made Kaito’s head instantly shoot up to stare incredulously. “Don’t look at me like I’m crazy, Kaito,” said Ging before his disciple could conceal his surprise, “hunters are greedy people. They seek adventure, despise routine and never settle. Bringing a kid into this world is a big and dangerous deal that we couldn’t bear.”

Then why did you do it in the first place? The question was entirely plausible, yet it died on Kaito’s tongue before he could voice it. It wasn’t his place to ask. Perhaps the boy was the result of an ordinary one night stand - that was quite often the case. Besides, he couldn’t imagine Ging lingering in one place long enough to fall in love and willingly father a child. Then again, he hadn’t thought it possible for the carefree adventurer to even be a parent at all, and he’d been proven wrong. In all truth, predicting Ging Freecss’s actions was a game of chance, similar to Kaito’s Crazy Slot, and the white-haired hunter wasn’t sure he liked that resemblance.

“Was his mother a hunter as well?” As he spoke, Kaito watched Ging’s posture stiffen, his usual relaxed attitude forgone. On second thought, it might’ve been more suitable to ask about his reasoning. “Who said anything about her? What did I tell you about assumptions?!” “You said ‘we’.” “What?!” “When you talked about bringing a kid into this world, you said ‘we couldn’t bear it’.” “As in you and me and every other fucking hunter in the world. Now stop nagging me.”

From the years he’d spent as his disciple, Kaito had learnt a lot about Ging as a hunter - extremely gifted, strategic, adventurous -, as well as a person - stubborn, unpredictable, carefree and at times, awkward. However, he had rarely, if ever got the chance to see a truly flustered, caught off-guard Ging. It took a lot to surprise him. Yet it seemed that the question Kaito had deemed innocuous had managed to utterly baffle the rogue hunter. He watched in awe as Ging’s features shifted through various phases of surprise, outrage and awkwardness, his foot nervously tapping the ground and his voice cracking with indignance. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.” The only response Ging gave was a graceful, yet expressive burp. He deliberately avoided meeting Kaito’s eyes, busying himself with wiping clean of meat every little fishbone.

By the time he spoke again, the fire had considerably dimmed. “She is a hunter. Part of the association that helped me create Greed Island.” Kaito was leaning against a smoother portion of the wall, hands behind his head, eyes closed in contemplation. When his master spoke, he immediately turned to look at him. The black-haired man was staring pointedly at the dying fire, scattering the ashes with a stick in a halfhearted attempt of keeping it aflame. “Ging-san, you don’t have to talk about this if-“ “Just shut up and listen, ‘cause I’m not telling this story twice.”

Kaito settled back against the stone wall and listened.

“As I said, she was one of the creators of Greed Island, so we were both pretty young when we met- 18, I think. She was the friend of a friend, she heard of our project and she wanted in. We were fine with it, since she was a strong Nen user and her contribution has made the game what it is today.”

The cave entrance was growing darker by the minute as nightfall crept in. They would have to get some more firewood.

“While we were busting our asses off scouting the island and thinking up cards, we got to talkin’ and you could say we grew... close. She was pretty and as charming as they come, simple-minded, and always up for an adventure. And I was a bit of an impressionable kid.”

“We wanted to travel together. She was passionate about myths and languages, I liked ruins. A match made in heaven,” Ging chuckled bitterly. “Now, don’t get me wrong, ‘twas nothing official. We couldn’t be bothered to label anything. But one thing led to another, and all of a sudden we were a couple of dumb nineteen year-olds with a baby on the way.”

So, Gon was a mistake. Kaito had figured that much.

“Obviously, we had to push back our plans - we wanted to try and explore the Dark Continent eventually - and we had no idea how we were going to raise a kid together when we didn’t even know how to define our relationship, but we never thought about giving up Gon. Not once. Soon after we finished up the game, Daina gave birth. May 5th, 1987. Five months later, I was urging her to come with me on an unofficial, undocumented expedition near lake Mosubi.”

The sheer name of that place gave Kaito the shivers as he listened attentively to the other hunter’s story.

“She didn’t really want to go. Childbirth had changed her. She began to realize the risks we’d have to take, the high stakes, the danger that was awaiting and how inexperienced we really were. But I was having none of it. I thought I was invincible, and I thought I’d always get what I wanted.” There was a pause, and Ging cleared his throat almost awkwardly.

“So, I threatened to leave by myself. Woke up that morning and started packing. She got scared, like I knew she would; there was no way to stop me, so she eventually gave in.”

“You pretty much manipulated her into following you,” Kaito concluded. Ging continued to stare into the fire for a while before answering, and his disciple was almost sure he’d managed to piss him off again.

“Yeah. I guess you could say that,” he answered calmly. “Anyway, we left the baby in-game, summoned a Panda Maid to care for him and left. Long story short, something... beyond my understanding happened on that godforsaken shore and...”

“Did Daina...?”

“No! I mean... she disappeared. I have no idea what happened to her. I couldn’t look for her. It’s a miracle I even got away.”

Kaito let out a breath he hadn’t even known he were holding.

“And before you start to think I’m some delusional dumbass, the moment I got back, I went to Greed Island and summoned Double Postcard to the Dead. I’ve been doing it annually since then. No response so far.”

Ging needn’t explain more. Kaito knew Greed Island fairly well from the time he had attempted to clear the game, and therefore he had plenty of knowledge on the card system. Double Postcard to the Dead is a card which, if summoned, allows you to send a message to a deceased person of your choosing. If the person is truly dead, you’ll get a response within the next day.

“Anyway, after all that, I’d realized a couple of things.” Ging raised his pointer in the air. “First. I was going to need at least a decade of training, experience and qualifications to even pass lake Mosubi’s shoreline, and second,” he raised another finger, “I couldn’t raise Gon on my own. It was too dangerous to pursue my goals with him around, and he would’ve been better off living a normal life.”

“So you sent him off home.”

“And lost custody in court when Mito decided to sue me. The rest is history.”

There was silence as Kaito pondered over what he’d just heard. He supposed he could understand the reasoning behind Ging’s decision to leave Gon in someone else’s care, but he could’ve at least visited. Kaito was no king of morality, yet he couldn’t have lived with himself knowing he had a kid out there that knew nothing of him.

“I’m sorry.”

Ging’s eyes switched back to Kaito. He no longer looked lost in space as he made a dismissive hand gesture, very much characteristic of him.

“Don’t be. It was for the best. I would’ve been a crappy father either way.” There was humor in his tone and the white-haired hunter laughed cordially, but he could tell his companion’s words were more than just a joke.

The more he thought about it, the more obvious it became. Ging had decided to utterly avoid his son not only for his safety, but also out of a selfish, yet understandable reason. He couldn’t have possibly bore the embarrassment of looking Gon in the eye and telling him his mother had gone missing simply because he had dragged her into his irrational goals and mindless illusions.

But you won’t be able to avoid him forever, Kaito thought to himself. If that boy is anything like you, he won’t drop dead until he finds you. I’ve seen the look in his eyes. You’re in for one hell of a ride, Ging.

“Yo.” He was awoken from his reverie by the hunter’s deep voice. “I’m gonna go get some more firewood. You coming or what?”

Kaito had barely noticed that the sky had gone completely dark and the cave was only lit by what little was left of the campfire. He could barely distinguish Ging’s features anymore as he stood at the entrance.

“Sure. I wasn’t expecting you to spend the night here though, Ging-san.”

As they walked along the abrupt forest path, wind howling at their ears, Ging scoffed. “You and your damn assumptions.” He grumbled and pointed at the sky. “No stars. Can’t you smell the thunder? It’s gonna rain tonight.” Kaito doubted a little storm would stop Ging from leaving if he really wished to do so, but he said nothing. “Oh, and drop the honorific.”

Kaito must’ve looked extremely surprised because Ging spoke again, a smirk creeping on his face.

“Don’t look at me like that. You found me, so you passed your test. We’re equals.”

#hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh fanfic #hunter x hunter fanfic #ging freecss #ging freecss fanfic #kite #kite hunter x hunter #gon freecss #hxh headcanons

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not-a-mimic · 8 years

Text

Come and Hold My Hand

Allenbert Week Day 1: Pre-Flashpoint Relationship

Continuation of my Pilot!AU - After the accelerator explosion Central City is left to pick up the pieces, minus some of their loved ones.

Come and hold my hand

I wanna contact the living

Not sure I understand

This role I’ve been given

I sit and talk to God

And he just laughs at my plans

My head speaks a language

I don’t understand

Barr. Where are you? I don’t understand, why arent you replying? I need to hear you. Please. Where are you?

Frost licked at his heart and soles as Julian scrambled to get to the station. He had to see his boyfriend - he had to know he was ok. But, as humanity decreed, thousands of loved ones in Central that night had the same idea as him - They needed to make sure their lovers, parents, siblings and family were safe. The roads clogged, slowing down to match the steady pace of Barry’s voicemail - a torturous experience that left Julian half mad by the time he got to the station. What if I lost my rock? I already lost Emma - I can’t lose Barry as well. It’s just my luck though.

By the time Julian finds Joe in the swarm of cops his vision blurs against his will and his knees tremble. Somehow in the short period of time since the explosion Joe’s aged 20 years. Shadows twist around him, shoulders slumped and Julian is struck about how much he looks like a parent who just lost their child, something Julian is all too familiar with (He remembers once having to tell a mother they found her son in the river - The way the slim, tiny, strong spark of hope disappears as quickly as her world shifted. He’d seen people lose loved ones before - his own parents and family themselves - but there he was, watching a woman lose everything. She lost everything and held herself together long enough to see them to the door before following her son into the void. Julian swore then to never forget her.)

He knows he’s watching Joe fall down that same path, following his son down and Julian just knows. Suddenly it doesn’t matter where he is, who’s watching with their dark glares and whispering comments.

He just breaks.

I just wanna feel

Real love feel the home that I live in

‘Cause I got too much life

Running through my veins

Going to waste

I don’t wanna die

But I ain’t keen on living either

Before I fall in love

I’m preparing to leave her

It’s Iris who drags him to the hospital, his body on autopilot. Of course it’s Iris - sweet perfect Iris who Julian had to fight claw and tooth with (without her knowledge) to win Barry’s affections - He’s not bitter ( I’m only a little bitter. Ok I’m bitter. Better? ) but seeing how she is still as perfect as ever even with her makeup smudged from tears and eyes scarlet. All he can focus on his Barry’s heartbeat, teh too-fast pattern of beeps in the stark room that makes his stomach turn and in turn his heart to race faster. It’s no where near Barry-speed, but it’s the thought that counts.

No-one ever mentioned what it would feel like to lose the love of your life - He knows he should be angry, angry at STAR Labs for building the Accelerator, angry at Harrison Wells for ever dreaming up it or angry at the world for taking his light like it too the mother’s son - But he’s just tired. Already he wants to hear Barry’s voice, to see his smile or listen to another stream of god-awful jokes that he’s heard a hundred times before but Barry still tries to make him laugh at and succeeds every time. He wants his boyfriend back - or he wants to know he’s at peace, not stuck in the half-limbo-half-sleep that’s a coma.

Joe joins him at the 3 hour mark, long after they have taken Barry away for another set of tests. He just wants it to be over already, already weary to the bone and its only the first day. He wants to be home in bed with his boyfriend, a tangle of limbs and sheets but happy.

No-one mentions that he’s sitting by a empty bed, still grasping at thin air and dreaming for the impossible.

They don’t want to pledge the hesitant over the edge after all.

Scare myself to death

That’s why I keep on running

Before I’ve arrived

I can see myself coming

Singh takes one look at him and puts him on mandatory leave. Noone’s complaining - Julian looks like he would be at home on the Walking Dead with no problem - and that’s coming from a group of men (and women) who live off cheap coffee and snack while they spend their days cleaning up a city wrecked by a impossible explosion and more impossible people. Julian would say he was interested, he knows he would of before and Barry would of died (he did practically - but whatever god is out there hasn’t held their end of the bargain. Yet. ) to see how Central has evolved over time, the impossible becoming possible and Barry’s half-mad rambles seeming more and more plausible each day.

Julian doesn’t want to go home, doesn’t want to think about the missing body next to his and the nights spent in front of the TV, watching everything from documentaries to reality TV trying to get Julian to crack - Barry never succeeded ( And he may never do so, a traitorous part of him whispers , He may do nothing ever again. )

It’s funny, watching the same things now seem to always get him to crack. He’d be fooling himself if he lied about why, the only light in his life a muted one when Joe and Iris invite him over for dinner. We don’t want you to feel excluded Julian (Iris never called him Julian before - It was always Albert or Desmond or some pun or joke about the two. Never Julian.) You lost as much as both of us that day. (He ignores how the West’s exchange looks at this - Like they know that they all lost an important person to them but that he lost the only important person to him, heart slashed in to and crumbling every second Barr’s asleep, every time he sees anything that reminds him of Barry.)

I just wanna feel

Real love feel the home that I live in

‘Cause I got too much life

Running through my veins

Going to waste

And I need to feel

Real love and the love ever after

I cannot get enough

Harrison Wells comes to them 2 months in, and leaves with Joe’s permission and a bruised lip. Julian comes away with a bloodied fist and glimer of hope in his heart that died months ago. It doesn’t matter about how much he tries to help Barry. Everything he doesn’t rubs Julian the wrong way - Something is wrong with the man and Julian does not want to be there when that’s exposed. Speaking of the devil…

“Mr Albert. I wasn’t aware of you and Mr Allen's… relationship. Isn’t there a policy against it at the CCPD? You both seem to be such talented scientists… Shame if either of you lost your job over a simple romance.”

“Do you dig into every relationship of your patients? Ones who are suffering because of your own mistakes? Or are you threatening me Mr Wells?”

Wells chuckles and Julian would swear later that his eyes flashed with something darker. Or in this case, something more red. He was an army kid - and he’d grown up shunned by his family, spent years in the shadows where the monsters live. Julian didn’t scare easy but this? This innocent man who is handicapped in a wheelchair made every instinct in him scream.

“Of course not Mr Albert, Just the ones who are breaking every rule in the rulebook for them. Neither of us would want Allen to lose his job over it would we? You do care about him.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing - You are cold hearted and selfish, thinking it’s appropriate to threaten my own relationship when you have not had one in 15 years. You’re our only hope to save Barry, yes I understand that but I will not stand for being insulted constantly.”

The doctor just smiles his sly snake smile and wheels past Julian, surprisingly strong arms working tirely as he disappears around the corner.

I just wanna feel

Real love feel the home that I live in

I got too much love

Running through my veins

To go to waste

I just wanna feel

Real love and the love ever after

There’s a hole in my soul

You can see it in my face

It’s a real big place

“I don’t trust his Joe - The Meta’s obviously originated at the particle accelerator and now we’ve left Barr there hoping they’ll do something to help him. Wells… Well I don’t trust him.”

“I know… I looked into his other staff - One Cisco Ramon and Caitlin Snow. Ramon’s clean and all reports say he’s a genius with a heart. Snow lost her fiance in the explosion - I don’t know why she’s still there and loyal to Wells but she is, and I have to give her credit for it.”

“So Wells only has 2 people left? Isn’t that a little… “

“Strange? It is a abandoned biohazard created by a impossible explosion. I wouldn’t want to hang around after my life was ruined by it too. It works to our advantage too - Less people to worry about when everything inevitably goes wrong.”

“Hmmm. I just don’t feel like it’s a good idea to leave Barr there - I know it’s our only hope but something’s not right.”

“Julian… We all want him back. Iris is… she’s dating Detective Thawne now. I don’t approve but I always wanted her to end up with Barr…”

“And then he went out and started dating me. A coworker who’s male, none else. Iris is coping in her own way - she’s lost the one person she can confide in, of course she’ll find someone else to help her. Thawne… he’s not a bad guy. A bit upbeat and pretty yes, bad guy no.”

“He’s also modest.”

“I knew I forgot something - But really, please try be nicer to Thawne? He’s good for Iris and is a decent cop Joe. He also bought you coffee that one time without ulterior motives-”

“He was trying to get on my nice side.”

“- Unlike Iris, who uses it as blackmail. How did she even learn to do that anyway?”

“… I’ll go look into STAR Labs.”

Come and hold my hand

I wanna contact the living

Not sure I understand

This role I’ve been given

Not sure I understand

#allenbert #barry allen #julian albert #barry x julian #allenbertweek2017 #tif (btio)#my writing #writing

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