#and obviously if you don't project yourself in to stuff at all

[profictionprince]

While I don't think that anyone needs to have like... a Deep Reason™ for liking the content they like, it's especially funny to me when I'm accused of being a predator or whatever in response to that one post because I'm one of those people who like, projects myself in the "victim" role (for lack of a better way to put it) if I'm reading fucked up smut or whatever because I'm one of those people who internalized and sexualized fucked up things that have actually happened to me.

[swordfright]

this might just be because i'm a bit older than your average mcyt fan, but it makes me kind of sad to see all these younger fans scramble to wipe their mcyt fanworks off the internet the second a content creator is revealed to have done something awful.

don't get it twisted, I'm a big believer in rescinding financial support to ccs you no longer agree with or admire by unsubscribing, deciding not to buy merch, or refusing to give them ad revenue by watching their content. if you don't feel comfortable giving someone money, don't give them your money. material support isn't what i'm talking about here - I'm talking about fanfic, fansongs, fanart. yknow, content that fans create for themselves and each other, stuff that's not for ccs.

in the past year (and especially the past week, obviously) i've seen tons of mcyt fans saying they're planning to delete their art (or that they already have deleted) because they don't want their work to be associated with content creators who behaved badly, and that they want "a fresh start." I've seen fan writers say the same thing about their fics. and like, this is fine, do what you want with your stuff, but i'll be honest...it does make me sad that so many younger fans seemingly have been made to feel such a high degree of responsibility for ccs that they're unable to enjoy fandom (a thing that is FOR US! FOR YOU!) or take any measure of pride in their past fanworks.

again, at the end of the day you should do what you want with your own shit. but what i will say is, if what you want to do with your work is delete it, at least think first about why you're considering the nuclear option. you aren't responsible for a cc's behavior, and that goes for literally anyone who's ever had a hand in making anything you like: books, movies, games, anything. you shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of having created fan content for a piece of media that a shitty person was involved in making. straight up, this kind of shame isn't something i believe should exist in fandom, because it's parasocial in the same way that positive emotions towards media/creators can be parasocial.

and also, as someone who's been involved in fandom for a long time, i can say with confidence that creators will keep disappointing you like this. there are shitty people out there. if you're searching for a piece of media with zero shitty people ever involved in the project, you will not find it. i'm not saying this to normalize shitty behavior on the part of creators, I'm saying this to emphasize that bearing the shame and guilt of every creator to this degree is not sustainable or healthy (and it's not how fandom used to operate, but that's a conversation for another day, perhaps.)

i understand why so many folks are considering deleting their fanworks, and if that's you...think about it before you do it. that's all i'm asking. you don't want to create a habit of divesting yourself of all evidence of having been passionate about art created by someone who sucks, because if you do get into that habit, then your chances of ever truly enjoying a fandom again are, unfortunately, pretty slim.

[batsythoughts]

As the next installment, here is Yandere! Bruce Wayne with baby trapping!

Warnings: Possessive tendencies, manipulative behavior and actions, dubious consent, forced pregnancy (obviously)

Smut under the cut. Minors please do not interact with this post.

Your whole relationship with Bruce had started out completely innocent without him even being aware of how possessive he would become

You both met through a mutual associate and had gotten along fairly well so he asked you out for a date

The two of you went on 5 dates before Bruce finally expressed the idea of being official to one another

Bruce truly did enjoy being with you. You never had expectations on how he needed to act or treat you. You just let him be Bruce without complaint

He even felt comfortable enough to admit his identity as Batman after a few months of being with you

He half expected you to freak out, but you didn't. To his surprise, you mostly made a joke of it.

"Oh my god, no way! Super tall and extremely jacked billionaire with an army of adopted children Bruce Wayne is the Batman!? You two don't even look alike!"

He swears he had fallen in love a little more just by the sarcasm alone

A year into the relationship, your apartment building had to ask everyone to temporarily move out due to a mold problem in the basement while they got it cleaned out

Bruce offered to let you stay at the manor while it got worked out

Now, he wasn't worried about how long you might need to stay there. He was just concerned about how the kids would react to you staying there for so long.

Dick was super friendly and Jason didn't have a huge care for who Bruce was dating. And Tim was always busy with some random project that he was working on.

However, Damian might not like the fact that he was bringing someone into the manor who had the knowledge of their second life. He could barely remain civil on the nights you came over for dinner

And Cassandra had only been taken in a couple of weeks ago and hadn't been able to meet you yet. He was worried of how she might react to the new presence in the manor for an unknown amount of time so suddenly.

He sat all the kids down that morning to let them know of the situation before you showed up that night without any of them knowing why

As he expected, Cass was skeptical about the whole situation but Dick and Jason assured her she would like you

Damian flat out admitted to hating the whole thing before storming out of the room to get ready for school

When you finally got done with work, you came over with a small suitcase full of most of your clothes and a bag with the other important things you need

Bruce eagerly welcomed you in while taking the bag from you. Kissing you softly before guiding you towards his room to put your stuff away

He helped you find a place for all your stuff in his private spaces

He smirked as you got to setting your medicine up on the sink counter. His hands holding up the pack that held your morning after pills as he raised a brow

You innocently shrugged while saying neither of you liked to wear condoms all the time. Besides, you had to find a way to thank him for his generosity after all

He set the packet down before kissing you again with a little more intensity

He pulls away went you lightly swat his chest while telling him he can have his fun later, but you wanted to meet Cassandra

He chuckled while nodding his head as he lead you to her room

He gently knocked on the door and called out to Cass as you stood beside him with a calm smile

Cass opened the door while looking between Bruce and you with a curious look in her eyes

You continue smiling while holding a hand out while introducing yourself to her. Calmly asking about her and saying she can feel free to talk to you about anything if she wanted to

Cass cautiously shakes your hand while glancing between you and Bruce before saying she had a few things to do in her room before dinner

Bruce softly reassured you to give her some time after the door closed on you

Bruce guided you away from the door to give you an in depth tour of the manor for you to be comfortable navigating for the next few weeks you would be there

It doesn't take long for it to be time for dinner as everyone gathers around the table to eat

The silence that loomed over the table was almost suffocating each time conversation went around to Damian or Cass

Bruce repeatedly encouraged them to speak to you about anything, but Cass always shrunk into herself while Damian glared at his father for the suggestion

Dinner ended quite awkwardly as the three oldest boys found excuses to leave the table fairly quickly after finishing their plates

Damian simply left the table without a word, leaving you, Bruce, and Cass

You look at Bruce with a small frown as he gives you a small nod for encouragement while tilting his head towards Cass

Looking back over to her, you comment on how you would be going shopping in a few days for a couple of things and asked if she would want to come along to spend some time together

She looked up in surprise before giving a small nod while saying she would like to try if she was feeling it that morning

That night as he was about to get ready for patrol, he watched you get ready for bed with guarded excitement for the promised outing

Bruce smiled while walking over to place a soft kiss to your temple while saying they would all be back before dawn

You smile back while kissing his cheek and saying that you wanted them to come back with all their bones intact, which he assured would happen as he told you to sleep well

The next few days all went very similar to the first night with Damian still acting hostile and Cass still uncertain of your presence

The weekend morning you were going to be shopping, Cass had said she was willing to go out for a couple hours with you that day

Bruce gave you one of his cards as you got ready for the day while asking you to make sure Cass got a few things that she liked while you were looking today

You hesitantly take the card while saying you would before giving him a kiss goodbye and leaving for the shopping center

Everything is quiet in the manor for a few hours as the boys simply lounged around for that morning as they surprisingly didn't have anything that needed to be done that day

Around noon, Bruce got a text saying you both were caught up at the mall and would be home when everything settled down and grabbed a small meal

He felt concerned at first but quickly brushed the fears aside

You would have told him if something bad happened and you needed his help with anything

About two more hours pass before you and Cass finally make it back with a handful of shopping bags each

The boys all watch from a distance as you give her a small kiss on the cheek before she goes up to put her items away with a smile

Bruce, intrigued by the sudden change, got up to greet you while asking how everything went as you begin to hand him back his credit card

You shrug while saying it wasn't anything too important. Just a small misunderstanding with another customer who tried interacting with Cass when she didn't want the attention

Bruce's jaw clenched as he began to stand up, but you assured him that it was handled and the guy wouldn't be trying anything like that again anytime soon

Bruce reluctantly accepts the explanation as you quickly peck his cheek before letting you go put you own purchases up

"And on a completely unrelated note, I had to buy a new thing of pepper spray because I apparently emptied mine recently."

From that day on, Cass had taken a strong liking to you and would open up to you if she ever needed to talk

Bruce felt relieved that you managed to get her to feel comfortable, but he was still worried about Damian

The day he changed his mind came a couple weeks later when he was at school one day

You and Bruce had the day off, so of course you were both trying to spend it in his bedroom

'Trying' being the key word in that statement

Just as Bruce was slipping a hand under your shirt, his phone began to ring

You both groan slightly as he pulled away to see who was bothering him during the day

His attitude immediately changed as he saw Damian's principal calling him

He answered the phone with concern as he was told that Damian had gotten into a fight with a few boys that were a few grades above him

Bruce began to get himself presentable as he asked to speak to Damian as he watched you get ready as well while looking confused

He explained the situation as you furrowed your brows as you told him to put it on speaker to talk with Damian as well

When Damian's voice came from over the phone, Bruce couldn't get a word in before you spoke to the boy

"Speak in a simple yes or no. Did you win and did they swing first?"

The line goes silent for a moment before Damian let out a strained, "Yes."

"Are those kids somewhat racist towards you regularly?"

"...somewhat."

You give a look to Bruce as you begin to put yourself together as he tells Damian you will both be there shortly

The drive is quick as you and Bruce are taken to the waiting area where the other parents are already talking to one another

You and Bruce both go unnoticed at first as they comment about Damian being 'unstable' around the other children due to the environment he was brought up in

Bruce cleared his throat to get the attention of the other parents before they could say anything else

The principal ushered the parents into the office where all the boys sat in front of the desk as their parents stood behind them

Each of them had a bruise of some kind on their face or body, even Damian had a black eye and a busted lip

The principal walks in while telling everyone to calm down before explaining how the older boys had snuck up on Damian when he went to his locker at some point

Everyone listens as the principal begins to explain the 'no tolerance' policy the school has and that all the boys will need to be temporarily suspended while an investigation occurs. Including Damian

"I beg your pardon?" "The fuck he will!"

Bruce and you both go off on the principal at the suggestion that Damian would be punished for the fact he defended himself

You even put a hand on Damian's head while saying that 'your little boy' would never hurt anyone without a reason

Bruce maintained his surprise by the statement you said, focusing on making sure his son didn't get punished

Damian could see the angle you were playing as he looked up to you with big eyes as he leaned towards you

"I just trying to get a book out of my locker when they attacked me. I was just protecting myself, ummi, I swear."

Bruce bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling and giving away the two of you in your act. How you both could understand the act without any form of prepared plan was astounding to him

You stare down the principal with a frown as you raise an eyebrow

"You have cameras in the hallway. Check them and see that he simply defended himself from those boys. Damian will be back to school tomorrow to keep getting his education. Habibi, we're going home."

The three of you quickly leave the office and head to the car

Once inside and driving back to the manor, Bruce looked over at you with a quirked brow. You just looked at him with a smile

"You dating someone who was once a theater kid. We're all crazy on some degree."

Since that day, Damian had seen you in a different light and began to get along with you to a degree

Which Bruce found to be relieving as you had gotten a call saying that your apartment building was being condemned because the mold had apparently been in the walls of all the floors

He had made sure to help you get all the remaining belongings you had there out so you wouldn't have to worry about losing anything when they destroyed the building

He was a little happy about it because you would be around more with him and spending time with all the kids more often

Bruce thought everything was going great and that you were happy staying with them so you wouldn't have to move back out to just live with them again later on

He had thought you had felt the same way about the living situation

That was until he came back from patrol one night to see you passed out with your phone screen left open on a site with different apartment listings

He was confused when he saw that you had multiple tabs on your phone with similar information on each of them

Bruce quickly turns your phone off on the page you had been on as he lays down in bed with you as his mind raced

Why would you be looking at apartments? The kids all enjoyed having you around now and you got to see them everyday. Why would you want to leave them all?

The time passed quickly as the sun finally began to rise and your alarm went off

You turned it off before rolling over to smile at Bruce with a soft groan. Moving to his side to give him a loving kiss

Bruce returned with as he held you closer with his own smile

He carefully asked if you knew that you were welcome to stay with them all for however long that you needed

You smiled while saying that you knew before giving him another kiss while getting up to prepare yourself for work

He smiled as he watched you get ready before his mind began to wander again

Doubts crept into his thoughts as he got to work himself while trying to figure out some paperwork his attorneys were worried for some reason or another, he couldn't seem to recall what about

When the day was almost over, he was barely focused when his assistant came in with some personal business to talk about

Bruce forced himself to pay attention as he was told about how their family would be expecting a baby soon and they all would want some time off for every member to get to bond together with the new addition

Bruce couldn't help but smile at the news along with them while saying that he would be happy to give them the time as long as a temporary placeholder was found for their job

He still smiled as his assistant left as the fears and doubts quickly disappeared as he began to think

A baby? Babies normally do bring families together. And it takes a lot of work to take care of one alone. But with enough people to support and help out, it might not be as bad. And it would be redundant to live separately with the both of you having a baby together.

When he got home that night, he felt slightly relieved when he saw a new box of your personal hygiene products in his bathroom

Now he had a time frame that he could try to work on his idea to keep you around

About a week later after everyone finished up with dinner, Bruce gently guided you upstairs to his room

He locked the door behind you before guiding you towards the bed

You smile while pulling him in by the collar of his shirt

Bruce smiles while he begins to kiss you, one hand holding the back of your neck as the other moves underneath your shirt

You both begin undressing one another slowly as hands gently explore the skin that becomes exposed

Bruce trailed his lips down to press along your throat before going across your collarbone

He smiled at every small noise that sounded next to his ear with every touch he made on your skin

He pulled away to guide you to lay down on the bed as he ran a hand down your body while getting on top of you

He settled most of his upper body weight into his arms as he began to kiss you again

Just as he was about to get situated above you, Bruce felt you lightly push against his shoulder as you lift off the bed

Bruce smiled as he let you move him to his back so you could straddle his hips with a bashful grin

Oh, how Bruce loved it when you wanted to ride him

He intertwined one hand with yours as you leaned down to lovingly kiss him while grinding into him

He stared as you straightened back up so you could position him at your entrance

He squeezed your hand as you slowly sank down on him with a sigh

You placed your free hand on his abdomen while slowly rolling your hips against his

Bruce's head rolled back into the pillow when you raised up a few inches to sink back down

His hand slide down to grasp at the spot on your thigh just below your ass before squeezing the muscles under his palm

He smiled up at you while watching you gently fuck yourself onto his cock

Occasionally, Bruce would move his hand to make you roll into his hips again when you sunk back down

The two of you stared into each other's eyes before you slowly moved to lay down on his chest

Bruce wrapped his arm around your waist to help you push back onto him as the two of you began kissing once again

His ego swelled at the small whimpers you let out against his mouth as the both of you got closer to the edge

He felt you tightly grasp his hand as you began to shake on top of him as you came with a small cry

It took Bruce a few more moments before he finally stilled his own movement, continuously placing soft kisses to your lips and face as you calm down

It normally didn't last that long when you rode him, but Bruce couldn't help how intimate it always got between you both

He waited as you finally relaxed before lifting you off his lap with a groan

Helping you to your feet, Bruce lead you to the bathroom before turning on the shower for the both of you

He held you close as the water flowed over the both of you, helping scrub the body wash over your skin while massaging the muscles that were still tense

He even let you return the favor when you offered to wash his hair

He couldn't help the urge he got when he watched you worry about tending to his needs than the thought of you doing that for your future children

Bruce leaned in to passionately kiss you while pressing you into the shower wall

He used his hand to hold your head in place as he positions himself at your entrance again

He gently pushed in with a small groan as he begins rolling his hips against yours

Bruce remain soft with each movement as you lightly claw at the skin of his back

He stopped kissing you for a moment as he rested his forehead against yours as you both got a moment to catch your breath

"I love you. Love having you here with me. Like you were meant to be with me in all this."

Bruce groaned as he felt you clench around him as he spoke to you, the sensation sending a shiver down his spice

He trailed a hand down to lightly circle his fingers over your clit as he felt himself get closer to release once again

He gave a small grunt as he still his hips against yours as he helped you to your second orgasm

He continued holding you up while running his hands along your body to help you come down once again

Bruce grinned while beginning to wash the new mess he made before finally turning off the water for the shower

He helped get you into one of the shirts you wear to sleep before guiding you back to the bed

You lean into the cover while telling him to be careful out there

Bruce grinned while leaning down to kiss your forehead before he had to get ready for patrol

"Don't worry. I'll do everything in my power to see you waiting for me every morning."

When he got back from patrol, he was extra cautious not to wake you when he entered the room

After getting changed, Bruce went to your phone before unlocking it to turn off your alarms for that day

He carefully climbed into bed and pulling you to him before drifting into a light sleep

He made sure to not move around too much when he heard the rest of the family beginning to move about for their day

Bruce only began to stir when he felt like it was long enough past the time your alarm would go off for you to worry about getting ready for work

He gently shook you while saying you had slept through the alarm and needed to get up and soon

You groan while reaching for your phone to see the time before jumping up from the bed

He sat up as you quickly changed clothes before trying to head to the bathroom

Bruce quickly said that Alfred would make you eat something before leaving, so you should do that before brushing your teeth

You quickly agree before rushing out of the bedroom door to go and eat something

Bruce got up from the bed and headed to the bathroom to grab your vitamins and medicines that you would need to take

He waited until you rushed back in with a cup of water

You took it all from his hand to take before brushing your teeth

He waited as you gave him a small kiss goodbye before leaving for work before you would be late

Bruce waited until he heard the front door closed before picking up the pack with your morning after pill

Taking one out of the packet, Bruce let out a small sigh before tossing the pill in the toilet before flushing it down the drain

Throughout the day, Bruce felt slightly guilty about not being honest when giving your medicine when you slept in that morning

He was thinking about saying that he forgot about it when you came back that night, but stopped when you came walking through the door and immediately greeted the kids first before going to talk to Bruce

Oh, how he knew you were going to make a great mom with how amazing you treated the rest of the family

All doubts disappeared from his mind as he welcomed you home from work

The next few weeks, Bruce made sure to keep an eye out on behavior or physical changes that could be signs you did get pregnant

He noticed how you would occasionally get sick in the morning after he got back to the manor

You assured him it was probably a stomach bug that some of your coworkers had that was spreading around

He definitely had his suspicions though when you would get random little cravings at night or in early hours of the day

You said french toast was a perfectly reasonable food to eat at 7:30 in the evening

The week you didn't get your period on time, he began to get hopeful

One day, watched you come in with a grocery bag and a nervous look on your face

He immediately suggested that you both go to his room to talk before you nodded along

After locking the door, Bruce asked what was on your mind

You avoid eye contact while pulling a digital pregnancy test out of the bag for him to see

He looked at it for a moment before saying that it was alright and he would wait for the results to come through

You quickly went to the bathroom before going to sit on the bed with Bruce holding you to his chest as the results processed

Nothing was said when the time was finally up and you brought the test closer to read the results on the small window

'Pregnant'

Bruce holds you closer while asking what you wanted to do with the whole thing

You go quiet for a moment before saying that you didn't have the heart to just get rid of it

Bruce smiled while moving a hand to rest under your shirt before he said he understood and began a discussion on the options you would need to think about

While you only agreed to a few of the things Bruce specifically wanted you to do, he knew he still had some time to get you to see his ways and agree

You both did agree to do a small announcement for the whole family in the next few days to not hide the news and get discovered by one of the many vigilantes in the house

Bruce did push to have Alfred get you new vitamins and a few books to look over before then so then you could have a head start on the whole journey

As he laid you down to sleep that night, Bruce couldn't help the smirk on his face as he thought of what your future would entail

There was no way you would think of moving out now. He knew you wouldn't break the family up like that with the new child for everyone to fawn over that they would want around at all times

Oh, how perfect you truly were for this family with Bruce by your side

[whore4abby]

cookies 2; dbf!abby anderson

part 1

warnings; older!abby, smut - fingering (r!recieving), masturbating (reader), mdni

wc; 1.5k

secrets and side-eyes;

she’s your dad’s best friend for fucks sake, you shouldn't be feeling this way about a woman 20 years older than you, but yet here you are silently pining after her and avoiding her like the damn plague that you’re desperate not to catch. staying cooped up in your room with the lame excuse of ‘homework’ whenever she came over to watch a game with your dad. catching glimpses of her as you leave the safe confinements of your bedroom and sneak down to the kitchen to get a glass of water, your heart almost stopping and you eyes widening immediately when she makes eye contact, a shit-eating grin plastered on her face, showing her delight in making you flustered.

abby looks up at you and raises an eyebrow as she sees you walk into the living room, ”hey, honey~” she says casually, but there’s an undertone of something more in her voice. she leans forward and places her elbows on her knees, her blown-out eyes trail down your body hungrily. a hint of a cocky smirk curls at the corner of her lips. the sexual tension between you two is extremely evident and you can’t help but squirm a little under her gaze as her eyes linger on you for a little too long.

“hey…abby….” you try and speak as nonchalantly as possible, but the words seem to snag in your throat as she’s practically undressing you with her eyes, probably thinking about bending you over the nearest counter and fucking you dumb until you can’t walk straight.

“come and watch a movie with us…” your dad doesn’t seem to notice abby staring and smiles happily. he’s sitting in his trusty old, leather la-z-boy recliner, leaving you no other choice but to sit next to abby on the tiny beige two seater sofa. fuck that. you have better things to do than to endure some mind-numbingly shitty movie for the rest of the night.

“dad i would love to, but…i got stuff to work on…” you sigh softly in frustration, talking in a mildly exasperated tone as you're absolutely insistent on not sitting next to abby. but you truly would rather work on a bullshit project than sit beside her for two hours.

“cmon, kiddo….i hardly spend time with you anymore.” your dad looks at you with a hint of sadness showing on his face and you can’t help but feel a wave of guilt. because its true, being so busy with college and the relentless studying and countless assignments doesn't leave you much time to spend with him these days.

“ugh…fine…”your shoulders slump in defeat and you pout as you walk over to sit beside abby. you squeeze in next to her, her thick thighs pressing into yours as she manspreads even further, obviously getting a kick out of this.

you instinctively reach for a nearby fuzzy blanket to cover up your bare thighs, mentally cursing yourself for wearing such small pyjama shorts in front of her. abby notices you trying to cover up your legs and a smug, knowing smile spreads across her lips, she crosses her arms and leans back into the couch, pushing her knees out even further and bumping them into your legs which only heightens the ongoing tension between the both of you.

you catch onto her act but don’t acknowledge her subtle clues at all, choosing to continue watching the television quietly. after a little while you can feel the weight of her gaze on you again and you turn your head slightly to look at her curiously from the corner of your eye and see her staring at you intently, almost as if she’s studying you somehow.

you turn your head fully and your eyes lock with hers but you don't say anything as your father is still in the room and it makes things unbearably awkward. but despite the growing tension, abby doesn't give a single fuck that he's sitting right there as she slips her hand under the blanket and traces an intricate pattern with her fingertips across the flesh of your thighs.

“you're so naughty… letting me touch you like this while your daddy's in the room~” she whispers into your ear as she slips her hand beneath your soft cotton shorts. you’re thankful for your dad being utterly engrossed in the movie and the booming sound effects making it impossible for anyone but you to hear her words but you still feel so embarrassed of the way your body is reacting to her lewd touch.

the crotch of your shorts is practically sopping wet by the time she gets her hands to where you need her most. she smirks when she feels that you aren't wearing any panties, this new revelation seeming to amuse her. she ever so slightly brushes the pad of her middle finger across your clit, making you bite your lip harshly to stop yourself from making any noise.

she continues to tease you, rubbing tiny circles over your clit before dragging her fingers down through your folds to thrust into your soaked slit, before dragging them back out, evoking a gasp from you.

this back and forth continues for what feels like forever until you're so wet its almost dripping down your thighs and you have to resist the urge to start bucking your hips up into her. the movie quickly comes to an end and she reluctantly drags her hand out of your shorts and rests it back on her own leg. her fingers are still shiny with your slick, glistening in the dim light, your eyes widen as she subtly puts them in her mouth to suck them clean with an air of pride.

you quickly spring up from your seat as soon as the credits start rolling, “i’m really tired, i’m sorry…” you lie, adding in a faux yawn to hopefully fool your dad into letting you leave. your father looks over at you and nods, “of course, you should go to bed. i’ll see you in the morning.” you smile and say your goodnights to both your dad and abby before retreating back up the stairs. the stickiness on your inner thighs reminding you of the feeling of abby’s hand on your cunt just mere minutes ago.

you quickly close your bedroom door behind you, relishing in the silence and security. the room is cozy, decorated with soft colors, from the lavender walls, to the soft white sheets on your comfy bed with plushies and various stuffed animals sitting neatly against the fluffy throw pillows.

you walk over to your bed and collapse down onto it, the lingering wetness of your shorts pressing against your throbbing pussy. you close your eyes in an attempt to calm yourself down, but it's no use. your body is still hot and trembling from all the excitement that abby had brought upon you. and as much as you try to ignore it, that familiar ache between your thighs keeps growing stronger and harder to ignore by the minute, leaving you helplessly longing for a release.

you hand drifts down into your shorts to slowly touch yourself, the memories of what happened earlier still floating around in your mind. your shaky fingers glide over your pussy, still soaked from all the attention abby gave you. barely audible moans leave your lips as you rub through your delicate folds before mimicking the rhythmic movements of abby’s fingers on your clit. your mind is filled with nothing but dirty thoughts about abby and it makes it harder to resist your orgasm.

your breathing becomes ragged and your hips buck up involuntarily, seeking more of the delicious friction that’s pushing you over the edge. your fingers start to move faster, frantically rubbing across your swollen clit and it isn't long before you're cumming, covering your mouth to muffle your whimpers and desperately refraining from crying out her name.

thinking only of the lingering and vivid memory of abby's fingers inside you and how good they stretched you out as you bite your lip and come down from your high, still feeling so aroused but so ashamed at the same time. you feel like such a pervert for thinking about abby this way but she seems so comfortable in this new situationship that’s unfolded between the two of you and it's as if all the existing boundaries been completely erased since that odd afternoon in the kitchen.

you get into bed with a strange sense of guilt lingering over you as you close your eyes tightly, as if trying to forget about everything that happened between the two of you. you lay there staring at the ceiling for a while, the experiences with abby feeling so surreal almost dream-like, and you’re not even quite sure how to process it all.

all you know for sure is that this changes everything between the two of you and it exceeds way beyond a fleeting infatuation or a silly crush on your end.

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo revengers groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mommy issues, mentions of deceased mothers, brother issues (akashi's), mentions of physical abuse, mentions of suicide, depending on what kind of person you are, this might be kinda dark

Side note: i think i may be projecting too many of my headcanons on these people so i apologize for mischaracterizations😔🙏

Desc: it's Shinichiro's birthday!! (sneaking in the fact that it's also mine and i'm 19 today😋)

Izana: happy birthday Shinichiro

Izana: everyone's gonna say the same thing so i don't think there's a need for an influx of happy birthday messages

Izana: just dm, to prevent a pointless conversation

Shinichiro: aw thanks Izana😁❤

Mikey: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Mikey: ANOTHER YEAR OF BEING A VIRGIN🙏🔥

Baji: you're such a loser man

Baji: with all due respect and no offense of course

Baji: happy birthday tho

Mitsuya: aren't you a virgin, Mikey?

Mistuya: a bit hypocritical

Mitsuya: happy birthday Shinichiro-san

Mikey: i had sex once, and meh

Mikey: 5/10

Mikey: being confronted with someone's dick and balls was crazy

Mikey: and i have mommy issues so i don't think it's a good idea for me to sleep with a woman

Mikey: but i would like to lay on one's chest as they sing me to sleep

Baji: what does that have to do with anything

Draken: no one asked you for any of that information, just so you know

Mikey: your mom asked me

Mikey: oh, sorry😔

Mikey: they wasn't even part of the joke. i'm genuinely apologizing😔

Emma: Mikey!

Emma: you know that's a sensitive subject 😠

Draken: not really, to be honest

Senju: why's it a sensitive subject

Emma: his mother left him

Senju: ...

Senju: Emma why would you tell me that

Mitsuya: i think we should word this differently or not talk about it, maybe

Mikey: Mitsuya's right, as always (boring 🙄)

Mikey: but Emma☠️?

Senju: yours left too girl

Emma: well i know that, so i'd be sad if someone made a joke about it

Emma: and so did yours🤨?

Senju: death is different. your mom CHOSE to leave you

Senju: skill issue

Senju: was that too far? maybe

Draken: guys

Chifuyu: ok guys let's calm down

Emma: of course a person with a mother would say that 🙄

Chifuyu: ...sorry

Emma: just jokes Fuyu😚

Baji: don't apologize Chifuyu, not our fault we have mom's

Baji: suck it, losers

Mikey: i really didn't mean to start all this, my bad

Draken: it's not a big deal😐

Draken: and Shinichiro-san, happy birthday, but you're still a virgin?

Draken: i'm not judging or anything. i just find it impressive

Draken: all the other stuff is overrated

Emma: 🤨

Emma: we'll talk about that later

Emma: are you actively practising abstinence?

Emma: i couldn't

Emma: not with Ken-chan around, at least😋

Draken: dude

Draken: your entire family is here

Emma: don't call me dude☹️

Draken: okay

Draken: babe

Draken: your entire family is here

Emma: so?? they know we have sex

Emma: how else would we try to have a kid?

Draken: bro...

Mikey: KEN-CHIN KILL YOURSELF☹️👎

Izana: Emma was underage when you got together

Izana: something to think about, Draken

Draken: i was too???

Takeomi: who the hell are you

Draken: me?

Takeomi: obviously not you

Takeomi: "Izana"

Takeomi: who is that

Shinichiro: this is Izana, Omi

Takeomi: i fucking know that Shinichiro

Takeomi: why are you all so stupid

Baji: why are you brining your sour mood here

Baji: go die

Baji: no offense

Mitsuya: you can't keep saying bad things then saying no offense

Mitsuya: it literally doesn't mean anything

Shinichiro: i said i had another little brother remember?

Shinichiro: before Emma was a Sano, she was a Kurokawa. this is Izana Kurokawa

Takeomi: your dad was a man whore. respect

Shinichiro: dude, ew?

Izana: technically i'm no ones sibling because my mom lied to your guys' dad about being my father so i'm actually not related to any of you. not really supposed to be here

Mikey: dude give that up. we don't care 🙏

Izana: i was just clarifying

Emma: Izana-nii you know it makes Shin sad when you say that☹️

Izana: i was stating facts, but alright

Haruchiyo: happy birthday Shinichiro

Baji: you never speak on this group but oh, let the topic be about Mikey

Baji: all of the sudden it's a yappathon

Baji: "i wish Mikey would stick it in!"

Haruchiyo: I'VE NEVER SAID THAT

Haruchiyo: and i'm speaking now, aren't i😐

Mikey: Baji leave Haruchiyo alone

Mikey: you're the one always scaring him away😔👎

Mikey: hi Haru😋

Haruchiyo: hi Mikey 🙂

Kazutora: happy birthday Shinichiro-san

Kazutora: um, sorry about... the incident

Mikey: (i told you not to talk about that in front of people, Tora💀)

Draken: PUTTING A SENTENCE IN BRACKETS DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE WHISPERING

Draken: STOP DOING THIS

Senju: what incident

Kazutora: uh

Kazutora: almost killing him

Shinichiro: buddy, i know you didn't mean to do that. it's all good

Kazutora: no, i fully intended to kill a person

Kazutora: it just wasn't meant to be you

Kazutora: and for that i apologize

Shinichiro: oh...

Shinichiro: well at least you don't have those murderous thoughts anymore, right? let's dwell on the positive 😁

Kazutora: i do have those thoughts

Baji: you don't always have to tell the truth man

Mikey: dude☠️

Kazutora: but they're about my father, mostly

Kazutora: i look exactly like him, so looking in the mirror is hard sometimes

Kazutora: i'm not allowed to kill myself, but killing him would be close enough

Kazutora: but i can't. because of the law

Draken: dude, are you okay? do we need to talk again

Draken: this is concerning

Kazutora: words cannot help me, Draken

Kazutora: anyway, have a good birthday, Shinichiro-san

Kazutora: i'm glad you didn't die by my hands

Shinichiro: ...

Shinichiro: i'm not really sure what to say

Senju: i love his thought process

Senju: (what the hell is wrong with this guy)

Draken: we can see the text inside the brackets 😐

Senju: fine

Senju: what the hell is wrong with this guy😭

Senju: you were the one who put Shin in a coma??

Senju: the power or friendship really carries this group's dynamic because if it were me, Kazutora would never see the light of day😭🙏

Senju: it helps that you're handsome

Kazutora: thank you. i'm sorry

Senju: you're welcome. you are forgiven

Baji: maybe let's change the topic

Senju: what's wrong with him?

Senju: no offense

Emma: his father used to beat him

Senju: Emma!

Senju: you can't be telling people this 😭

Emma: STOP ASKING ME THEN

Emma: there's no malice!! i'm just telling you what happened!!

Inupi: happy birthday Shinichiro

Inupi: my sister has agreed to go on a date with you

Inupi: i see you as a really good guy so if you fuck this up, i'd have to kill you

Shinichiro: AKANE-SAN?

Shinichiro: she's too pretty for me

Shinichiro: ok um, please give me her number, Seishu

Shinichiro: thank you

Shinichiro: let's speak privately yeah?

Mikey: Inupi, this is the first time in your life you've ever been useful

Mikey: i'm impressed

Inupi: kill yourself

Mikey: Koko doesn't love you back👎🔥💔

Inupi: Takemitchy is married to a woman

Draken: break it up

Draken: and Koko does love him back, he's just fighting heteronormativity and internalized homophobia

Emma: ?

Draken: i'll tell you about it later

Emma: 🤗

Inupi: you will not

Koko: i am in this group, you know?

Koko: happy birthday Shinichiro

Koko: also Inupi, aren't we dating?

Inupi: huh

Koko: are we not dating?

Inupi: i mean, i wasn't aware of it

Inupi: but okay

Inupi: you didn't ask me

Koko: well, we act like we're dating so i thought we were

Inupi: okay

Draken: Koko you can do better than that

Draken: this is a terrible confession

Draken: i did not sit through hours of Inupi's yearning for this

Draken: do better

Koko: okay...

Koko: meet me at my place?

Inupi: ...

Inupi: okay

Draken: 👍

Izana: can't anyone solve their private matters, PRIVATELY?

Mikey: dammit

Draken: what?

Mikey: i don't like when he's happy

Mikey: i need to ruin this for him somehow

Izana: Inupi fucking sucks

Mikey: he's the worst

Mikey: i regret changing the timeline for his sake

Mikey: should've left him to burn

Baji: what?

Mikey: nothing

Baji: this was about everything, except Shinichiro's birthday ☠️

Shinichiro: to be honest? i couldn't ask for more

Shinichiro: my family being happy is the best present i could ask for

Shinichiro: i really love you guys

Izana: thanks

Mikey: BOOOOOOOOO

Mikey: too sappy, i'm out

Baji: that was so corny😂

Baji: (we love you too)

Emma: Shini-nii😭❤

Senju: Takeomi, take notes

Senju: i still don't get how you guys are friends considering the personality difference

Senju: Shin is so kind and lovable and amazing and sweet (and hot lwky)

Emma: ew😐

Senju: you um, you smoke, and you um

Senju: yeah i got nothing

Senju: still love you though!

Haruchiyo: he's ugly and abusive

Takeomi: says the dick sucker

Takeomi: i'm abusive because of the way you are by the way

Takeomi: besides, i've regrettably, never lay a hand on you

Baji: here we go again

Haruchiyo: in another life, i've killed you with my bare hands

Takeomi: do you seriously think you could beat me in a fight

Haruchiyo: i'll die trying

Shinichiro: okay guys um let's please not

Shinichiro: Omi stop being a dick 😅

Shinichiro: Haru, sorry for Omi being a dick

Senju: ☹️

Senju: we love you too, Shin

Draken: uhm i don't know if it's appropriate for me to say? but i love you too Shinichiro, i guess

Draken: this is a little awkward now

Kazutora: should i say it?

Baji: no, Tora

Kazutora: ok

[sibillascribbles08]

Hey, are you a fan of The Book of Life?

The year is 2024, which means on Oct. 12th, The Book of Life is going to turn 10 years old !

I don't know about the rest of you, but this film was pretty formative for me and I have so many fond memories of not only it but all the fanworks that came from it.

So I'd like to do at least something for the ten year anniversary. So I'm doing a call for fans of all sorts to come together and create stuff for a big ol' anniversary party.

"So like a zine?" Not exactly. If people want to set up a zine I'd encourage it, but I personally don't have experience doing so. And on top of that I don't want to just limit things to digital drawings and fic. Think of it a bit more like a big bang!

I want to see gif sets. I want to see essays. I want to see song covers. I want to see paintings. Little sculptures. Literally ANYTHING people want to create to celebrate. And more than any of that I'd love to see us artists come together and collaborate.

This project isn't anything specific, my goal is simply to bring the fans together for a big celebration.

For this purpose I HAVE set up a discord ! I'll leave a link here, but if it's not working for whatever reason just shoot me a DM and I'll get a fresh link!

Discord

A few things to emphasize.

This is a LOW STAKES LOW STRESS project. Obviously if someone sets up a zine there will be deadlines, but otherwise I want people to just make whatever they're happy with. If you end up unable to create anything don't beat yourself up about it. (But I am making this post now so people have time to get ready)

While I want fics to be part of the celebration, be mindful about including them in anything we may want Jorge to see as he has stated outright he doesn't read fanfics of his works (in case of making sequels and the like)

I also won't discourage NSFW works, just be mindful of where we're putting them.

And again again again you don't have to be an artist/writer for this. Make giftsets. Make essays. Make song covers. Make memes. LITERALLY anything. If you want to participate in any aspect I'd love to see you.

That's it for now. I may add more to this post as questions are asked or things shift. Sharing this is appreciated! I want the fans (past and present) to see it!

Thanks !

[aesthetically-dying101]

Law of Attraction (part 5)

A/N: happy then miserable again cause... um yeah

Other Parts: 1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; 6

Don't copy my works thank u!

:)

The rest of the project went... oddly well.

Who would've thought? Not you, that's for sure. 

After that ridiculous night with the snowstorm and all the awkwardness, it seemed like you and Nanami were in some kind of... strange rhythm.

A truce.

 You still didn't get how it worked, but it did. You'd meet up, revise, make stupid jokes, and surprisingly, the work actually got done—and it got done well. Who would've thought you'd be collaborating with a guy who had actual organizational skills?

But then again, he was Nanami Kento, the walking, talking example of calm precision. He was a damn machine.

You didn't know how you'd ended up so... comfortable with him. Sure, you two didn't have much in common—he was neat, composed, way too put-together, and you were... well, you. Messy hair, band tees, barely enough structure to keep your life from falling apart. But somehow? It worked.

He was polite, obviously, but now there was this weird... familiarity between you two. The first time you'd exchanged half-hearted memes, you'd nearly choked on your coffee. He'd actually gotten the joke. And the second time, when you passed him a random metal band playlist, he just looked at it like, "I'm willing to give it a try."

That was huge.

You tried not to overthink it. Friends? Yeah. Friends. That's what you were.

At least, that's what you told yourself.

The more you met up with Nanami to work on the project, the more... normal it felt. You'd joke around in-between going over the research, you'd both roll your eyes at the ridiculousness of certain topics, and sometimes, you'd even talk about stuff that wasn't the project.

Was that normal?

But every time you said something dumb or sarcastic, he'd shoot you that look—the one where you could tell he was trying to hide the hint of a smile. It wasn't just "professional" anymore. It was like you'd developed this weird little inside joke that nobody else got.

And still, you convinced yourself it was fine. Friends.

Totally fine.

*-*

It wasn't until a few days later that Nanami started to really feel it—the weird, uncomfortable shift in his chest. He was sitting at lunch with his friends, trying to focus on the upcoming exam, but it was like his brain kept getting stuck on one particular thing.

 Namely, you.

The conversation turned to the project, as it often did, and one of his friends casually threw out a question.

"Wait, you were working with her?" he said, pointing at Nanami with wide eyes. "The girl with all the band shirts and piercings? That's was your project partner?"

Suddenly, Nanami's stomach felt weird. What was that? Why did hearing your name like that make him feel... protective?

No, no, that couldn't be it. He didn't feel that way about you. Just... chaos with a heart of gold—or whatever.

"Wait, wait," his friend leaned in, a smirk spreading across his face. "You've been spending way too much time with her. What's going on? Are you gonna ask her out or what?"

The words hit Nanami like a punch to the gut. He blinked. "What?" he stammered, completely caught off guard.

"Are you into her or not?" his friend continued, practically bouncing in his seat, loving the drama.

"I... I'm not into her," Nanami said quickly, a little too quickly. He barely recognized his own voice, defensive and nervous all at once. But then his friends were all looking at him, their eyes full of that same annoying expectation. You're into her, right?

Nanami froze, his mind blank. What was going on with him? Why did this feel so weird? It was just you, right? Just his chaotic, unpredictable, but oddly comforting partner.

But the more he thought about it, the more the pieces clicked. The way his mind kept drifting back to you—your sarcastic comments, your half-assed jokes that somehow made him smile, the way you made him feel. You threw him off balance, but not in a bad way.

His chest tightened, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks.

He was into you.

He wasn't just your project partner. He wasn't just "working with you." He was thinking about you when he shouldn't have been. He was noticing little things about you—the way you laughed, the way you'd throw out a random, awkward comment and somehow make it sound charming. The fact that he was genuinely excited to see you again, and not just because of the project.

Great. Just fucking great.

He blinked again, feeling that flutter in his chest. Oh, crap.

Was this a crush? Did he even know how to have a crush? He didn't have time for this. His life was supposed to be about efficiency, order, control.

And you?

You were... well, chaos. Beautiful, unpredictable chaos.

It was a crush.

On you.

*-*

The moment you stepped into the building and saw the list of grades posted on the wall, your heart skipped a beat. this stupid course had a double grade, one for the project (that would be posted in two business weeks), one for the written exam (the one you had taken last week).

You pushed your way through the small crowd of students, eyes scanning quickly over the names until—

There it was.

98.9.

Your breath caught in your throat.

Holy shit.

Holy shit!!!!!

As you burst through the door, your eyes immediately locked on him. He was standing with his friends, talking about... something. Probably something smart. You didn't care. You saw the familiar, perfect tie, the sharp angle of his jaw, the way his hair always looked like it came out of a damn shampoo commercial.

Without a second thought, you ran toward him, the excitement bubbling up so much that you couldn't help but throw yourself at him.

"Nanami!" You practically yelled, launching yourself into his chest before he could react. You barely heard the confused, slightly shocked mutterings of his friends, but honestly?

You didn't care.

Nanami froze for a second as you clung to him, but then, thankfully, he wrapped his arms around you, steadying you. You felt his hand on your back, warm and comforting.

"I got it! I got a 98.9!" You gasped, pulling back enough to look at him with wild eyes. You were practically vibrating with excitement. "I got the highest grade, Nanami! Thanks to you!"

Before he could even process, you leaned in and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek, catching him off guard.

His expression morphed into pure surprise, his eyes wide, as he wiped his cheek with his hand. The dark lipstick mark you left there was smeared across his face, and you swore you could hear his friends snickering from behind.

"Wha—Hey!" he stammered, looking flustered and almost a little... flattered?

"Thanks!" You quickly added, still grinning like a fool. "And drinks are on me! We'll celebrate! Hang out or something. See ya!"

You didn't wait for him to reply. You dashed off before you could second-guess your impulsive actions, ignoring his confused stares and the awkward chuckles of his friends.

As you skipped down the hallway, your heart was doing somersaults. You couldn't believe you'd just kissed him. Your cheeks burned at the thought, and you felt like you might combust.

What the hell am I doing?

But you couldn't help it. He'd been there for you, and this was the best way you knew how to say thank you. Even if it was a little... dramatic.

*-*

It had been a few days since that weird, whirlwind encounter in the hallway, and Nanami had hardly been able to shake the feeling of it. The kiss. Your excitement. The way his heart had raced. It was all a bit... much. But he couldn’t deny it. A small part of him wanted to see you again, wanted to feel that spark again.

So, when you texted him, inviting him out to grab drinks with you and your friends to celebrate your project grades, Nanami knew he couldn’t say no.

But then came the problem: What the hell was he supposed to wear?

He stared blankly at his closet, and for the first time in forever, he felt completely out of his depth. He didn’t care about clothes. He liked neat, simple, clean-cut things. Shirts, trousers, maybe a tie if he had to. But... this wasn’t about looking neat. This was different. He needed to look good. 

For you.

That thought made his stomach twist. Why the hell was he suddenly so obsessed with how he looked for you?

In a rare moment of weakness, he texted his female friends for advice. They were always the ones who seemed to know what to wear, what made someone “pop,” what gave off the right impression. Maybe they’d help him figure this out. He could go for some practical advice—nothing fancy.

Their replies came flooding in almost immediately.

One of his friends sent a text with a string of emojis, "Roll up your sleeves. It’s like a male version of a V-neck. Gives the impression you're casual but still have a little style."

Another friend added, “Tight shirt. TIGHT SHIRT!!!!! Tight shirts are always a good idea. If you’ve got the body for it, it shows you’re confident. Not too tight, but just enough."

Another fiends texted back to the others: "Whore behaviour."

Nanami stared at the messages, rubbing his temple. “Tight shirts?” he muttered to himself. “Really?”

“Fine,” he sighed. He threw his hands up in mock defeat. If I have to look like a dumbass to impress her, so be it.

After grabbing a shirt that wasn’t too tight but fit just enough to make him look a little more... “attractive,” Nanami stood in front of his mirror, arms crossed, staring at his reflection. He’d rolled up his sleeves—just like his friends advised—and his shirt was... well, snug. He looked okay. Maybe a little too ready for some kind of date, but whatever. He wasn’t used to this.

What the hell was he even doing?

But then he thought about you again. The way you laughed, the way you got excited about something as simple as the project grade. You were so... vibrant. So alive. So real. Nanami felt like he was standing on the edge of something, but he had no idea what it was. All he knew was that he wanted to know more about you. Wanted to feel more of that energy.

He sighed again and checked the time. If he didn’t hurry, he’d be late.

Okay, this is fine, he told himself. I’m doing this. For her. Not for me.

At least, he hoped it wasn’t for him.

*-*

Nanami stepped into the bar, the buzz of laughter and clinking glasses instantly washing over him. His eyes scanned the room, finding it packed, but there you were—leaning against the counter, laughing with your friends, a drink in your hand- he recognised the legendary Aiko.

His eyes locked onto you, and the rest of the world seemed to blur out of focus.

There you were, wearing your usual alternative attire—black band tee, ripped jeans, the usual mix of dark and daring. But tonight, there was something different about you. Your shirt was low-cut, just enough to catch his attention, and cropped in a way that had him accidentally staring at your exposed belly, where a shiny belly button piercing caught the dim bar lights.

His breath hitched. God, I’m so fucked.

You were so... stunning.

You were more than just your messy, disheveled vibe that he liked so much. You were a literal goddess, and it hit him all at once.

And you—completely oblivious.

You were laughing at something one of your friends had said, completely lost in the moment. Nanami was watching you like a dumbstruck idiot, trying and failing to act casual.

His eyes wandered from the curve of your neck, to your cheek, and then back to your lips, which were pulling into that mischievous smile that always made his heart skip a beat.

Focus, Kento. Focus.

He took a deep breath and walked over, trying to control the ridiculous flutter in his chest.

“Hey,” he said, trying to sound as casual as possible. “You look... good. Good to see you.”

You turned around, eyes lighting up when you saw him. “Nanami! You actually came! Thought you were gonna bail.”

“Not a chance,” he said, doing his best to mask the growing heat in his cheeks. He slid into the booth next to you, and you immediately handed him a drink.

“Drink?” you asked, a little too cheerfully. You’d clearly been enjoying yourself already, and the way your words slurred just slightly made Nanami chuckle.

“Thanks,” he replied, trying not to smile too much at the way you looked so carefree. He took a sip of the drink you handed him and tried to act like he wasn’t completely melting under the pressure of being around you. “So... how’s it going?”

You shrugged, taking a sip of your own drink. “You know, same old. Just needed to celebrate. I mean, I kicked ass on the project, right? And... well, you were part of it. So I’m grateful.”

Nanami felt his chest tighten at your words. “You did do well. You deserve it.” His words came out without thinking, and he caught himself staring at you again, the way your lips curled when you spoke, how you animated every word with your hands. You were so... alive.

You smirked, noticing his gaze. “What’s up with you?” you teased. “You look like you’re about to say something dramatic.”

He chuckled awkwardly, shaking his head.

“No, just..." he cleared his throat. "... enjoying the..vibes."

"Vibes huh?" You lifted your brow. Before Nanami could answer, Aiko pulled your attention.

*-*

You both drank, a couple rounds of beer, and he tried to focus on the conversation, but all he could think about was how damn beautiful you looked. It was ridiculous. The way you casually tossed your hair, the way your lips curled when you spoke. It made him ache in ways he didn’t know how to process.

The night went by in a blur of laughter and bad jokes, and soon enough, you were... a little tipsy. Just enough to make him worry, but not enough for him to stop enjoying being with you.

When the drinks stopped, he stood with you outside, trying to gauge how much you’d had. You were laughing at something stupid he said, but then your expression changed, your face a little softer than usual.

"Hey, um... Nanami?" You leaned on him for support as you both walked back to your dorm, and it made his heart skip.

“What is it?” he asked, keeping a careful arm around you.

“I just want to thank you,” you said, voice slightly slurred. “For everything. You’re like... actually really nice.”

He chuckled nervously, unsure of how to respond, but then you took him by surprise.

“You’re pretty,” you said, blinking up at him with those big eyes of yours. “Like, really pretty.”

Nanami froze, completely blindsided. His face burned, but before he could process anything, you continued.

“Thanks again,” you said, giving him a slightly wobbly smile. “See you later.”

You... hobbled? Stumbled? Walked?- anyways, you simply crossed the street, your dorm was like.. a minute away. Nanami watched you go with his eyes, never leaving your form.

*-*

You had kept in touch with him, especially since the two of you got a solid 97 on the joint project. So even after parting ways in class, you remained friends, often working together.

You’d caught yourself staring at him more often—watching how his eyes would focus so intently on his work, how he’d adjust his glasses, how his lips would press into a thin line when he was deep in thought.

It was all so... so Nanami.

But then your heart would twist a little, because you couldn’t help but think: He deserves better.

Better than the chaos of your life. Better than the mess you felt like you were. You couldn’t bring yourself to confess the things swirling inside you, the things you didn’t know how to articulate.

What would he even see in me?

So, you withdrew.

You didn't want to rub more salt in your wound, so you'd just wait until your dumb little crush would die, and then you could be BFF with Nanami. Easy right?

Unfortunately, that fucker noticed you were withdrawing again- much like during the time you had worked together.

Damn him and his stupid observant brain.

Finally, he decided to just ask.

“Hey,” he said, his voice tentative, “are you okay?”

You didn’t look up right away. You simply hummed, as if lost in thought. He waited, not pushing, just letting the silence settle between you two. And when you did look up, your expression was unreadable—like you were trying to hold everything back.

“Yeah,” you replied, but the answer felt off.

Nanami raised an eyebrow, setting his pen down. “I don’t know... you don’t seem like yourself lately.”

You shrugged, avoiding his gaze. “I’m fine. Just... busy with work and stuff. You know how it is.”

He didn’t buy it, but he didn’t press you either. He had a way of knowing when you weren’t ready to talk, but this silence between you was something new.

"I miss hanging out," Nanami admitted after a beat, his voice softer than usual. "We used to just... chill. I know we're both busy, but I miss how easy it used to be."

Oh using your slang now? Since when did the mighty Nanami Kento use the word "chill"?

You didn’t want to pull away. You didn’t want to lose him. But at the same time, you couldn’t help but feel like you were too much. Too messy. Too unpredictable.

"I... I’m just not good at... balancing things," you muttered, staring down at the notebook in front of you. "I’ve got too much on my plate. You’ve got everything under control, and I—" You stopped yourself, shaking your head as if to clear the thoughts swirling in it.

Nanami tilted his head slightly, his eyes narrowing in that way he always did when he was trying to understand you. "What do you mean?"

You didn't know how to verbalise it.

Wouldn't it just be easier to somehow plug your brain in a computer to show him how you felt??

Instead, you faked a smile. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

Nanami studied you for a moment, his expression unreadable.

He knew something was off.

*-*

It came to ahead a week or so later.

It was 5 am.

Five. Fucking. Am.

Horrendous.

It had been a long fucking night. No, scratch that—long was an understatement. It had been a marathon of setting up for the gig, dealing with random band drama, helping out with last-minute requests, and trying to pretend like you weren’t internally screaming. You had worked through the night, practically dead on your feet, and now you were finally walking home, the first rays of dawn creeping into the sky.

You’d been so close to just crashing on the couch in the green room, but you couldn’t. Your dorm was just down the street. It’d be better to sleep in your own bed, the one you’d sacrificed sleep for these last two days.

You walked down the street, barely keeping yourself upright as the exhaustion weighed on you. The past 36 hours had been an absolute blur— all you could think about was your bed.

And maybe, just maybe, Nanami.

Yeah, okay, definitely Nanami.

You weren’t sure if it was the sleep deprivation or the alcohol from earlier, but the thought of him had been on a loop in your mind all night. The way he’d laugh softly at your sarcastic comments, the way his eyes looked at you when you thought he wasn’t paying attention—there was something about it that had your stomach doing backflips. But, like always, you didn’t know how to handle that. You didn’t know what you were doing, didn’t know what any of it meant.

What you did know was that you were tired. You wanted to curl up in your bed and forget about the world for a while.

Maybe with Nanami by your side, but that was definitely not happening.

No way.

You rounded the corner toward your dorm, rubbing your eyes. And then you bumped into someone. Hard.

“Shit, sorry!” You muttered, stumbling back. You blinked up to see... Nanami. Of course.

“Well, this is... a surprise,” you grumbled, though you couldn’t quite hide the tiny smile that pulled at the corner of your lips.

His gaze softened when he saw you, the ever-present calm in his demeanor barely slipping. “Are you alright? You look...” he paused, scanning you up and down. “Tired.”

“Tired? Dude, I’m about to collapse,” you said, slurring slightly. You rubbed your face again, then smirked. “So, I woke up at 5 a.m. yesterday, and now I'm going to bed at 5 a.m. today. Like... how did my life come to this?"

"Do.. do you want me to bring you coffee later on today?" He asked shyly??? What? No. You were just tired.

"Huh? Oh.. yeah sure? Cool. Uh."

Wow great syntax there, really gonna impress the law student. Mhm. Tots. You thought.

He nodded curtly. "Perfect. I'll be in the common room of your dorm at two thirty?"

Knowing him he'd be there at two twenty five.

*-*

As soon as you trudged into the dorms, up the stairs, not going into your dorm, first stopping by your best friends place, Aiko, looked up.

"Ah so you're back-"

"I wanna fuck him. I desire him carnally." You deadpanned, not even trying to hide the frustration and confusion in your voice.

Aiko paused, looking up from her makeup mirror, the harsh white lines of her gyaruu makeup interrupted.

“Wait. Who? Law guy?” she asked, her voice edged with both confusion and curiosity.

"Yes, law guy," you muttered, flopping down onto her bed.

Aiko dropped the makeup brush and leaned back on her vanity chair, eyes wide with disbelief. "Wait, Nanami? Our uptight, too-good-for-the-world Nanami?-the guy I met like last term?"

You winced, like she’d slapped you in the face. "Don’t remind me." You sank down onto the edge of her bed, staring at the floor. "I don't even know why. He’s perfect. He’s everything I’m not. And... I just... I don’t think I’m good enough for him."

Your voice broke at the end, and you hated how it sounded, weak and pathetic. But you couldn’t stop it. You hadn’t even realized the tears were coming until they were already there, hot and embarrassing, spilling down your face like you had no control over them.

Aiko sighed and got up, making her way over to you with a practiced calmness. She sat next to you on the bed, one hand resting on your shoulder. “Listen, I’m not saying this to be a dick, but he’s into you, okay? I can see it. Hell, everyone can. The way he looks at you—he’s got it bad.”

You let out a bitter laugh, wiping at your face with the back of your hand. “He’s probably just trying to be nice. I’m just... I’m too much. Too loud. Too messy. I stand out, yeah, but for all the wrong reasons. He’s so normal, Aiko. He’s got everything together. And I don’t. I can’t even figure out how to be... me around him anymore.”

Aiko raised an eyebrow, her expression softening. "So you think because you’re different, you’re not worthy of him? That’s bullshit, babe. Seriously. That’s some deep insecurity talking. He likes you because you’re you. He likes that you’re loud and messy and a little crazy. That’s part of the charm."

You shook your head, hands trembling as you wiped more tears away, frustration boiling up in your chest. "I don’t feel charming, Aiko. I feel like I’m ruining everything. Like if he knew the real me—if he knew how fucked up I am—he’d run. I’m just... too much."

Aiko was quiet for a moment, letting the silence settle between you two before she spoke again, her voice gentler than you expected. “Hey... you’re not too much. You’re just the right amount of you, even if you can’t see it right now. And Nanami? He’s probably thinking about how much of a mess you are and still wants to be with you. If that’s not validation, I don’t know what is.”

You let out a shaky breath, not sure what to believe anymore. But one thing was clear—Aiko was right in one sense: You did need Nanami’s attention, his validation. You craved it more than you cared to admit, but you were too scared to even ask for it.

Aiko seemed to sense your hesitation. She wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug that felt warm and comforting.

"Hey," she said, her voice quiet but firm. "I’m not saying this is easy. But you’re worthy of love and affection, even if you can’t see it yet. And, honestly? You’ve got a guy out there who’s falling for you. Don’t push him away just because you don’t think you’re good enough."

You sniffled, your chest tight, but this time you didn’t pull away. "What do I do, Kiko?"

(Yes your best friends nickname was after the brand- yes it was because she had the equivalent of a small Kiko in her makeup bag)

"Just be you. And if you’re worried about being ‘too much,’ just remember: You’re the one that sets the bar. If Nanami doesn’t want that, then it’s his loss, not yours."

The weight of her words settled in your mind, but you couldn’t bring yourself to fully believe them—not yet.

Aiko helped you to your dorm room, then out of your clothes and into bed, tucking you in like you were some little kid who needed comforting. She even set an alarm on your phone for you, because you’d still be getting coffee from Nanami later. You couldn't fathom how you'd be able to face him, especially after everything you just unloaded.

But Aiko was insistent. She looked down at you, like some weird, half ready gyaruu angel.

“You’re gonna feel better, I promise. And hey—don’t worry about anything else. Nanami’s bringing you coffee at 2:30. You’ll get through this. Just rest. I’ll let you sleep, and we’ll figure it out later.”

“Thanks,” you whispered, pulling the blanket up to your chin as she shut off the light. “I really needed that.”

“Yeah, I know,” Aiko muttered with a grin. “Now sleep. And don’t be dumb. Nanami’s into you. You just have to stop doubting it.”

A/N: yeah so this was funny, i love writting her cause she can be both weirdly confident and also a sad kicked puppy. anyways i hope this was good

:)

[cyziel]

i'm thinking about yosuke again and it makes me so annoyed because of how hard atlus dropped the ball with him. it's very obvious that they made his character arc with the intention of him being a closeted high schooler in the year 2011 that struggles with internalized homophobia who learns to finally accept himself, but then randomly decided to cut out the payoff to all of the setup so it just makes him extremely homophobic. the whole game is about accepting the part of yourself that you hate, and yosuke coming to terms with his bisexuality throughout the course of the story fits into that theme perfectly.

it's small stuff like this and so many other moments that make much more sense with the context of him originally being planned on having a romance route. he projects his idea of "manliness" and what's "right" onto both others and himself to make up for the social stigma placed onto him by society; he's trying to convince himself that he's "normal" so he can fit in. him feeling ostracized because he's the manager of junes' son is a blatant parallel to this, and the two of them could've easily been intertwined.

"i like you" in japanese is "ore, omae ga suki da" 《俺、 お前 が 好��� だ》 -> known as the most common form of a love confession in japan and is almost always used romantically, especially given the context

this is an obviously repressed queer kid who has been struggling to grasp his sexuality and growing feelings for yu; there is so much subtext throughout the game that has all culminated to this moment—or at least, should've culminated to this moment. but it didn't.

funnily enough, i don't think it was atlus projecting their bigotry onto him at first until p4g, but making a genuine attempt at a good character arc that, much like the rest of persona 4, misses the mark in the worst way possible despite being so close to saying something meaningful (cough kanji and naoto). it's like they chickened out at the last second, but "forgot" to take out the parts that just make him a homophobic asshole with the context removed—and then even doubled down on it in p4g lmao. the thing i'm confused about is that hoshino (the former director of the persona series who is extremely disgusting and bigoted) was... already in the company when the lines were recorded??? so i'm baffled as to why they were allowed to come up with it in the first place before deciding against it.

this could've been really great and realistic representation that could've helped other queer people who were going through the same thing yosuke was—especially in the year 2008—and i'm super disappointed that they decided to cut it. persona 4 is about confronting the problematic elements about yourself, and i cannot think of a greater example of this than yosuke and his internalized homophobia.

(bonus: the closet is made out of glass)

[moonshynecybin]

Hi, new to motogp and i’m a sucker for friends to enemies to lovers and relationships drama and pain so obviously i love marc/vale, i am also think marc is fascinating, but I haven’t found much info detailed info vale’s smear campaign against him/his media savvyness/his entire personality, like i think i grasp the bare bones but, are there any tumblr essay that are required reading to you? Also any good posts about this arm injury (aside for the documentary that i will be watching this weekend)

i love arm. ummmm his documentary is pretty much the story. like the central conceit/plot of the whole damn thing is to chart this latest operation on the injury he sustained in jerez 2020 its GONNA give you most of the information on that. now, that being said. marc is a liar sometimes, so i'm gonna try and gather some resources that might give a better idea on where his arm is NOW, because its something he kind of contradicts himself about !

simon patterson interview with The Race podcast: shockingly candid tbh. i think lil homie was having a bit of a crisis. standing on the edge of a cliff facing down possibly the end of his career. what if the move to gresini sucks ass kinda moment. couching his chances this year pretty aggressively. he ALSO says some stuff about how fucked up his arm still is that hes since tried to mildly walk back cuz hes funny. anyways because im insane i transcribed it:

SP: Did you have to switch teams this season? Did you have to change to something that gave you more of a chance to win after the last few years after how difficult everything has been? MM: Yeah, of course if I change teams its because it was something that I need. And yeah, of course it was a risky movement, but at the same time it was a movement thinking on my career, not on results in a short time. Its like thinking if I have the motivation, if I’m competitive again. You know, I had— three years ago, four years ago I had a very big injury, a hard injury in the arm. And yeah, now its working well, but still is not— I mean its the arm that you open four times. If you ask to a doctor, of course its performing in a good way, but its not the same arm. But I have many question marks inside my head. So, the best way to answer to myself is— do what I want. And yeah, its a risky movement. Why? Because the comfortable movement is to stay where I was, with my people, with my friends, with a big salary, the project. But I decided to jump to a new project and at the moment we will see if I can answer the many questions that I have. SP: It sounds like the reason you did it, the questions you have to answer are all for yourself. It's not about– MM: No, no no no– it's just for me. Because for me— I say many times in my interviews— if I don't feel competitive– and competitive doesn't mean win or win, it means be in that top five top six, and yeah five four podiums, five four victories. Win a championship is super difficult. And especially it becomes more and more difficult when the years are passing and the younger [people] are coming. So the life is the life and every athlete has his moment, and then step by step it goes down. But yeah I need to feel again competitive to continue with my career.  Especially these last four years, has been, I mean– has been a nightmare, but is like it has passed super quick. The other years I was competing. I mean in the last four years I’ve completed half the championship, because I had many injuries, so now I need to find this stability, this pace. To start to create again a good base to fight for some races to the top positions— this is my intention. But to fight for the championship? This is something that still I’m not ready for. SP: You said that you learned a lot, during all of this. Is there things that have made you better? Are there things that youre gonna come back now with like new skills because of the experience? MM: No. I will not be better than before. Because– Yeah, maybe I have more experience, but before I was 100% in physical condition, and I was fresh. People say ‘No, he will come back stronger.’ When you have an injury, of course it's— injury is an injury. When you have an injury like two, three years, you lose the rhythm, you lose the feeling sometimes. And then it's super difficult to repeat all those things. But especially because your body— I mean they say the body is super smart, it can adapt. The body is super smart to adapt to new things, but it also is smart to remember what’s going on there. So yeah. I will be different, maybe— but not better.

theres also this similar quote from jan 2023:

theres also this recent statement from mat oxley talking about his arm and his sort of. show no weakness when it can be used against you philosophy

SO. following with that observation. he's started also kinda. being more noncommittal and vague in interviews/presscons now that he senses blood in the water. show no weakness expose no underbelly type stuff. so theres this in preseason which is actually around the same time as the patterson interview where he's still couching it a bit but hes also very adamant that his arm is working:

and then the BIG change comes around mugello this year, when he was fishing HARD for that ducati 2025 seat and changed his tune uh. QUITE a bit:

finally just some posts psychoanalyzing his ass about arm/injury, MOST of which are fairly recent. here, here, here, here, here, and here. ive also aggregated some recs for content good for learning about him in general here! go with god

[quimichi]

Hi, I was hoping I could get a genshin and HSR match up if they're still open? I use she/her pronouns, and I have a romantic preference for men. I'm a big time introvert and not one for small talk but I always try to be polite and kind. I've been described as being too sensible by multiple people but I will also laugh at some of the dumbest stuff. My hobbies include writing, drawing and cooking, generally I like anything creative. I hope this is okay and that you have a lovely day!

A/n: I really hope you like my answer! I just thought that someone who can understand and appreciate you would fit so much more better than the opposite ♡

FREMINET

@ awww look at those two introverts in love ♡

@ understands you all to well. You want your peace and quite? He'll leave you to yourself and lets you draw, take a nap, read or whatever.

@ greatly appreciates if you'd do the same, but only really rarely. He does enjoy your company a lot! You bring him internal peace. Just having you sit beside him while he works on a new project really gives him motivation.

@ psst, he wants to show off, just a little ;)

@ takes you diving with him! I hope you're not scared of the ocean tho- if you are, he'll guide you through it. He never lets go of your hand, even if it means that he will have a constant blush on his face and butterflys in his tummy. If you really are way, WAY to scared tho, he would obviously never force you. You two just walk by the shore collecting some seashells!

@ and if you love/like the ocean, he would shyly ask you if you wanna join him. Like everytime he would ask you. Or at least if you wanna wait for him by the shore.

@ LOVES LOVES LOVES to see your drawings, if you wanna show them that is. He can also draw yk, so someone who shares the same talent would also mean for him to share his supplies. Dw, take them without asking, it's a relationship after all.

@ and if you want you can make designs for his toy projects for the kids!

@ Is just as sensitive as you, maybe more, maybe less. But what is definitely a fact, is that he will comfort you nonetheless. Depends on how you wanna be comforted tho. Bit i think his style would be, have a cup of tea and let it aaaall out. Vent on him, he can listen well.

@ the twins think you two were meant to be-! Really supportive of you two.@ And Father is just as happy, she can't show it, but you're part of the family now sooo...you better not hurt her boy :)

DAN HENG

@ well--if you love writing, you're prefect with dan heng cause he loves reading-

@ would understand if you don't want him to read your written pieces, but would feel very honored if you would show him. Even just a glimpse would get him to praise you.

@ if you do show him--damn he would unintentionally correct your grammar or phrasing. Not that he shits on your grammar, its just-idk how to describe it he means it really nice but in dan heng style it comes off more as cold

@ and the corrections of your phrasings are just ideas on how to change things or make it more interesting. He probably read more books than the whole astral express crew together, like easily.

@ thats why he would get it if you don't wanna show him---he's aware lol

@ BUT! what he would do 100% and nobody can stop him, is reading to you ♡

@ lay in his arms and relax. Let his soothing voice lull you to sleep~ And if you wanna read on your own, do that, he'll wait for you to turn the page.

@ would also 100% discuss what you two read afterwards lol. Like a lil bookclub

@ he can actually cook, very well too. But he always says his skills are nowhere near yours, even if you deny it, he stands his point.

@ gracefully DEVOURS your food and asks for a second plate ♡

@ oh look, someone who also hates small take, yay. You two were so awkward at the beginning of the whole relationship. The beginning of the whole meeting each other for the first time too!

@ it was definitely him who took all the first steps. Even more awkward cause....he only knows the most things form books cause he has no real life experience-

@ made the mistake of asking March-the things he went through just for you-you better be greatful (jkjk)

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday: Mike

Summary: A new intern is assigned to your department.

A/N: Mike is from Hellraiser: Hellworld. If you need an idea as to what his character is like, I highly recommend this gif set.

Warnings: Age gap (Reader is 10+years older than Mike). Power imbalance.

Part 1

Tech Tuesday Masterlist

Mike swears his brain has melted out of his ears. This meeting has gone on forever. Clearly he was being subjected to cruel and unusual punishment for a crime he hadn't committed! He'd heard from 4 or 5 different employees about all the ways they use the interface. There had been a lot of back and forth between said employees about preferences for the new layout, pretty much everyone's ideas conflicted with each other. It only reinforced Mike's belief that he should just create some sample portals of his own design and have people pick from that.

You had noticed Mike's absentmindedness early on in the meeting and made sure to take all the notes he should have been writing. He's clearly not prepared for the job but you're not going to let him get away with not giving your employees what they want. Still, he is just an intern and part of the point of an internship is learning how to do the job. So you'll grant him this kindness. What he does with that will determine whether or not you ask Pine or Syverson to remove him.

After the meeting you wait for everyone else to leave before gesturing for Mike to follow you to your office. He flops down in one of the chairs by your desk, clearly exhausted.

You chuckle, "welcome to corporate life, kid."

"That was insane," Mike begins. "The interface sucks balls, obviously, but no one can agree on how to fix it? That was basically," he pulls out his phone, "2 HOURS! That was 2 hours of people not listening to each other! What the fuck?"

You sit in your chair. "First of all, watch your language." He shrinks a little under your gaze. "Secondly, that's not an every day occurrence, at least not under my watch. There's a reason I set this aside as a project."

Mike gives you a look like a confused puppy, "you mean projects aren't the daily work?"

"They can be," you nod. "But the majority of the work my people do is day-to-day stuff. Routine. Projects, unless otherwise specified, are filler work for them. For you, however, the project will be your internship."

He startles at that. "Shi---shoot," you smile at his self-correction. "I should've taken notes. I...I'm normally good at remembering things, but I wasn't expecting...Please tell me we don't have to have another fu-- meeting like that?"

You can tell he wants to go on a very colorful rant about how painfully boring the meeting was to him. Again, you find yourself smiling softly at his frustration, remembering how you were at that age.

Handing him your notes you tell him, "it's a good thing I took notes." His joy filled eyes makes you chuckle. "But this is a one-time thing," you warn. "I expect you to take your own notes going forward. And yes, there will be other meetings." He winces at this. "We need regular updates on your progress, regular feedback from the employees you're doing this for. So you'd better get some practice at note-taking. I find it helps me when the meetings get so boring my brain wants to destroy itself rather than continue."

"That's...good advice, Boss Lady," Mike says as he takes the notebook from you.

You roll your eyes at the nickname, "just get your butt to work, young man. I expect an update from you by the end of next week."

Part 1

Tech Tuesday Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;

@kingliam2019; @late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ozwriterchick; @ronearoundblindly

@thecrandle

[noacfapologyst]

birthday wish - matty healy

(the birthday party; day one)

summary: matty, as his very best, has one of the best birthdays of his life and receives one of the warmest surprises he has ever had, with all the people he loves.

warnings: flufly stuff, sickness mentions. nothing more than this, is tender as well.

a/n: thank to @abiiors and @the1975attheirverybest for organize this incredible project! both are such an angels. the dates do not coincide in reality, so do not expect truthfulness in it, 'cause the tour continues in this universe and there are no haircuts, and also the english is not my first language.

wordcounter: 5,1k

Matty wants you to be with him at the exact time when the clock strikes midnight. It doesn't matter if you're an ocean away, just wait to hear you sing her happy birthday.

He knows that even if he wants you to, you can't come out the door. This shouldn't make him sad because it's something he's been facing for years.

You work for the UK's most influential finance company, and while the insistence on doing the work outside has been almost unbearable, Matty knows that you love being in your office or doing the work in the house where you both live together. God, that sounds good.

Officially he's a year older, and without wanting to touch sentimentality, he just feels tired when he rests his head on the white pillow in the hotel room. He doesn't look at his phone screen for a long time, just think about how you're going through the flu that kept you from coming with him to New York.

In the meantime, you have other plans that doesn't involve fever, soup, and phlegm.

You look at your phone screen, you know it's past 12 in New York, so Matty is oficially 35 years old.

It's four in the morning in England, and once again you confirm how much you hate such an abysmal difference in schedules. You could call him now and tell him you still have the flu, but he'd end up figuring out the trick.

Maybe when it's six o'clock in the morning you can greet him with more credibility.

For now, you finish arranging the house and the final touches before taking the suitcase as you sigh out of the house.

--

"Honeeeeeeeeey" Matty literally jumps into bed making them both jump. You rub your forehead and he gives you an innocent smile. It's not an argument at all, but he's gone dumb. "Come on, fly with me to York.

"Matty, I can't." You straighten up on the mattress, giving it room to rest its head on your trunk. "I would love to go, but it's impossible." You wrap your fingers around her hair and massage it into circles. You hear him purr like he's been waiting for him all day. "I have a lot of work, we have like fifty new clients or something like that. I can't apart myself from the company, i really sorry."

"I'm not saying you get apart, you still can work through your computer." He turns to see you with a pretty sad look in his features. "I don't want to be annoying, it's just…it will be my birthday. The first with you as my girlfriend."

"Hey, i can't even say how much i'm sorry, but i really do." You grab his right hand and squeeze his, on your way to kiss his head a desperate fit of coughing interrupts you. "Shit, I'm ill."

It doesn't sound so convincing, but if all goes well, an idea begins to form in your head that might consecrate you as bride of the year.

"But hey, babe, I'm going to reward you when you return. I promise." You see him unravel at your touch, watching him as he indulges in sleep. While he is awake closing his eyes, you whisper into his ear. "You're going to have an incredible birthday, Matty."

- - -

Even though spring has been running through London for over a month, the dawn suddenly turns cold. Not only because you got sick in the course of two days, (even if you did it on purpose and forced yourself to sneeze around the corners), but also because everything feels a little tense in your room. Matty's not mad, obviously he knows he can't get you out of the country in the middle of a flu outbreak let alone by force, but he's pretty sad about getting used to the idea of spending his birthday away from you. It's satirical to him, they've officially been together for nine months, but you've spent more birthdays near him than it looks. By chance or fate, they were always in the same bars or pubs where they celebrated their years of life.

What's ironic, too, is that they met after a financial argument. It was 2017, you were relatively new to the company and Dirty Hit needed a safe backing, betting on the company you still work for. At first there were no complaints, until a money leak was triggered and backing the company you basically went to the studio to talk to Jamie in pretty strong terms.

In the end, there were no dead to bury, everything worked out. What you did bury was your washing soap shirt, thanks to Matty literally spilled his coffee machine on you when you were about to leave. It wasn't a good day for anyone, your folders just fell off and picking them up you bumped into Matty, in a semi-sleeping state with coffee running over your skin and a cheap apology as he opened his eyes surprised enough. Then it just happened for some reason, they both found fun in the same places. It was too many years of seeing each other at nightclubs maybe four times a year, saying hello from afar and going on, until a year and a few months ago they needed an insurance upgrade, which gave you another visit to Dirty Hit, no spilled coffee this time.

Matty asked for your number, then he bought you a drink, and here they are, saying goodbye to each other.

"Hey listen, call my mom if you feel bad or if you need something. At least promise me this." Kiss your head as they both walk towards the front door, you wrapped in a blanket and him between bags and suitcases.

"I'll do." You reassure him with a broad smile. "Stay safe, love you."

"See you soon, love." You and him kiss quickly as he presses his thumb on your cheek. "Love you, too."

"Matty."

"¿Yes"

"You're forgetting something, dude." You unlock your chain with a small white stone hanging, to lock it around her neck later. "Now it's okay." You steal a hug and when they finally part, the taxi comes to the door. "Bye."

"Bye." He greets you with hishand and throws the first accessory he has at hand, his bracelet.

You hate to say goodbye to him when he goes to the airport, and even though you'll see him in two days, you still hate him. You're so used to waking up with him, having its scent all over the house, that when that bubble disappears, you hate what it's created at some point. It hasn't been five minutes and you miss him like you haven't seen him in months.

You squeeze his bracelet. It's their little tradition. Every time one goes on a journey, both exchange accessories in a way to show the other that they are still there even at a distance. You don't remember when it started, but you like the sentimentality of the issue.

Now, of course Matty's right: you'll call Denise. You already have, actually. She's aware of all the deception and she's the one who's most excited about it. He talked to Tom and Louis while you talked to Adam, because he's the least likely to reveal it to your boyfriend. It's not that you don't trust others, it's just that he's wiser for this.

- - -

You touch your head down because actually if you feel sick, maybe you've been too extreme, but you hope it's worth it. Denise calls on your portal with the car horn pulling you out of the trance, you get in the car and when you want to say something else you just fall asleep in the backseat.

Half an hour later, she wakes you up gently rocking you. She's so much like Matty you could cry, you love everything her family is and how you've been treated from the first day you walked through that door. Even if she's your mother-in-law, they get along incredibly well considering how fast they've connected.

"Are you sure about this?" She asks, handing over the car keys and lowering the suitcases from the trunk. "I mean, you look really tired."

"I know, I know. I spend the day thinking if i had everything, and thinking about the gift, and trying to organize the things with Adam, meanwhile i tried to not being colapsed by the numbers." The two laugh, she looks at you with a more relaxed expression and just lets her walls fall down.

"Matty is so lucky to have you." She murmurs with bright eyes and genuine happiness. "I don't know if I've ever met someone capable of getting sick just for surpise his boyfriend in his birthday…on the other side of the world." You think she's about to get emocional when her eyes start stinging, and she notices it. "I get a bit emotional but you know, my son is growing up next to someone who truly loves him, and as a mother you don't know how important it is to know that."

Well, now you'll cry.

"Oh god, I love you Denise." You drop your bags and embrace her with the greatest affection you've ever had. "I'll might cry."

She laughs tenderly. "Keep the tears for the show, darling."

----

The belief that it would be a seven-hour flight (plus the check-in hours, obviously) that would be somewhat exhausting and that it would take time to pass becomes part lie and part truth. You actually have a lot of fun with Denise telling you anecdotes of her life in the span of waiting time to board, you can't lie, but then on the plane you start to get bored after a few hours: you've seen a movie, you've slept, you've saturated your Spotify and you only think about how Matty will be. You feel guilty about the birthday message because you know he'll be worried thinking that something is up, but later you'll ask for forgiveness.

Happy birthdayy Matty. I love you so much, i hope you ́ll always be happy.

This is too short, but i feel totally sick. I'll send you a large text later.

Matty tosses and turns in bed heavily after waking up with that message as his first course. He sighs as he goes to the bathroom, looks at himself in the mirror running a hand through his hair. It feels terrible.

Well, you haven't forgotten his birthday, but he feels that you have. Maybe it's not that.

He knows you don't like him smoking too much, but you're not here and it's the only thing keeping him sane so he doesn't yell at you if he's done something wrong. He opens the window and collapses on the balcony floor, a cigarette between his lips. He exhales, he can't believe he's spending the time like that on his birthday.

He feels like he has a dagger stuck somewhere in his body, he feels tense and knows he's not in the bliss mode that someone should have on their birthday. But God, he hates to blame himself and blame you for things.

You've been weird for days, and yes, maybe you're sick, but in the months you´ve been with him you've never been this weird. Overthinking things isn't something he likes or does too much, but now he's debating whether something has happened and you don't want to tell him. He exhales again and relapses into the state of his cuticles, but as a cumpulsive reflex he bites them. Has he done something wrong? Has he crossed any limits? Did you get angry about something he didn't do? Did he forgot your birthday? No, he hasn't forgotten that.

Trata de no permitirse pensar en la pregunta más dolorosa para él: ¿Hay alguien más? ¿Estás cansado de él y de su vida de poca estabilidad? Bueno, en cualquier caso te merecerías algo mejor.

Adam knocks on the door as an answer to problems. He knows he has to take care of him until you make your appearance, but everyone is aware that he may not be in his best mood.

"Hey, birthday boy, how did you wake up?" When Matty opens the door, he hugs him and Adam knows his best friend needs him. "Matty, tell me."

"It's just…No, it's a silly thing." He regrets it fluttering his eyes, but collapses on the bed tiredly. "I'm tired, that's all."

"No, it's not. Something is affecting you, so definitely there is something more than being tired. You dońt have to fake it with me, you know." Adam knows the reason why he is like this, and although he wants to tell him that she's really on her way, he can't.

"It's her, Adam. She ́s been in a distant mode for days, acting strange." He shrugs, Adam sits on the other end of the mattress, sinking it. "Her greeting was a bit cold, or too generic. It's not typycal for her.

Adam feels really bad lying to his friend, he feels like a traitor, and he really struggles to find the right words. "Didn't you tell me she was sick?" He asks, and Matty sighs, nodding. "Should be this."

"yes, but.."

"Listen to me, really." Adam cuts him off and thinks about how much he can take this like this, he can't allow his partner to collapse before the show, much less the surprise. "She loves you, i d on't know the reason for his behavior and I would love to know so I can tell you, but unfortunately I don't know." Guilty, liar. "Despite that, you just turned 35, it's too early for the midlife crisis for a congratulation. The day is not over yet

Matty slurps as he swallows without the strength to continue the conversation, not in this tone at least. He doesn't have any argument to play in his favor and that makes him a little angry.

"You have a birthday show tonight, it will be nice."

- - -

Madison Square Garden will never cease to amaze you and seem practically huge. You do not manage to make the connection between the measures of the venue, it seems much bigger than it is. You have entered more than once, both as a spectator of shows or as you are now, as an accompanist of the band that presents on the day, and still it leaves you breathless how massive it is. Not in your best dreams would you imagine having the chance to tour it.

But, what makes you more sensitive is to hear so many people divided into the branches and sections of the seats and the standing field cheering, shouting and even crying with a euphoric amount of adrenaline in the body by the celestial and pink lights that illuminate the stage, decorated in its scenography representing a house with all the rooms. It's still hard for you to believe that you're dating the lead singer of a band that has mobilized so many people around the world for years. They have come to see the four of them, they have come to hear what is the story they have to tell and to show them their affection and loyalty as they identify themselves in tears in the four chords of their best songs.

In a way you think that's everything a singer expects, and that by the same token, it's the most sincere reason for the fans in front of Matty's birthday. Because even though you don't spend too much time on the floor, you manage to see posters related to her birthday.

The whole Healy family, followed by you, take refuge in George and Adam's dressing rooms, because even if you came out of a cake in Matty's dressing room when the delivery changes, you'd lose the idea you planned. Now, you just hope Matty doesn't find it weird enough that they switched The Birthday Party to Act 3, and Guys is almost after. I wouldn't have to do that, in fact, since it's a pretty emotional and pretty setlist to play on your birthday.

When Matty's nightmare act ends and he descends from the second stage you try to make as little noise as possible next to his dressing room, mainly because you're going to scare him. The one you're scaring is George, but he's covering it up by saying there was a spider in his dressing room. Then with a thumb sign him shows that everything is ready for the next step. When the act of Still at their very best (the last of the show) begins with If you ́re too shy, you get ready, two songs later you have to get the whole audience to see you, but not Matty.

Then, It ́s not living reaches the middle with a consecrated closure between the drums and the guitar. Cheers fill the place. The action then begins when all the screens change focus and signs appear saying that, in front of the people you will see now, keep quiet because it is a surprise for both Matty and the fans. There are confused looks, intertwined, nobody understands anything but they keep singing so as not to show that the screens have changed again.

The crowd wants to go crazy, and some screams escape when it's you who's seen go behind the scenes. For the sake of greater care, you go behind George's drums and ask everyone with your fingers to be silent on the subject. You sit behind the biggest drum and you see it over your head.

There he is, dressed up in his black pants, his white shirt and previously the suit jacket with the pants. His tie's almost untied, and it makes you laugh, you don't think he knows he tied it wrong. The curls fall in front of him out of control due to tiredness and sweat, but you think he's never looked better in years.

"Thanks for coming to see the greatest band in the world, the 1975!" The sticks resonate on the drum, the play of grey lights makes everything a little psychedelic. The crowd bursts into cheers without differentiating the why. "And today it's my birthday, so thank you for coming here. I love you guys."

There's a mixture of exasperated emotions all over the compound. Even you have glassy eyes to see him smile in such a pure way, his place has always been and always will be the stage in front of the fans, when he is freer than ever and where he feels comfortable. This particular show is not just important because of this event, but because in fact, it's the end of the tour. It's emotionally sad, the melancholy is reciprocal in the stadium because nobody knows when there will be a new tour of them.

"Yeah, I know, this is sad. It ́s ironic that my birthday will be the last show of the tour." He grins and laughs showing his teeth to the audience. "But, thanks for being here, is my biggest gift."

So, Matty freaks out when he hears a noise behind him.

"And it's not over yet, friend of mine." Absolutely everyone is surprised to hear George through the microphone resonating in the stadium, Matty doesn't understand what's going on either. "Ladies and gentleman, please everybody look at the screen."

What happens next is the best and the worst that Matty has had in front of him, cataloging it as the worst because when pictures of him appear when he was little with his mother and father, playing guitar or just being a kid, it makes him wiggle and feel like he could really die right there from the excitement. Without looking away, dazzled and uncertain but motivated to keep seeing him, he sits on the edge of the stage.

The atmosphere is automatically warm, but even the noise does not break it. The screen now changes, and begins with a greeting from George, pointing to a picture of when they were 13, how they have grown up so far and how you can't imagine a life without him, then closes Charly telling how much she enjoys talking to him, and how much fun he is in any situation. Then comes Adam, along with Carly, telling how he is the youngest of the group, but how important he is for both of them in their lives. Finally there is Ross, who talks about how fortunate he is to have him as a friend, how proud he is of everything he has accomplished and how much he appreciates his friendship.

Screen in black. Matty takes care of the tears because he suspects it doesn't end there, but his eyes turn to candy, all his factions calm down and he refrains from leaping into the arms of his friends.

You can't tell how many, but suddenly fans appear in the video, talking about how they've saved their lives through the band, the refuge it's for them and how much the band has done in terms of connecting them with their closest friends, and giving them a reason to keep fighting. Everyone laughs when they hear the reactions of the fans appearing in the video, realizing it.

Now yes, everything seems to indicate that it's over. Matty tries to stand up, but something stops him.

Her mother. On the screen.

Satirically, her greeting begins by asking if she thought they had forgotten about her, but without giving any room to react, Louis and Tom appear on the screen, their entire family in one place.

Really, Matty feels like the luckiest person in the world to have so much affection around him, he doesn't know if he deserves it, but he accepts it and feels like the feeling of familiarity and brotherhood envelops his body as his brother and his parents talk about how he's changed everyone's lives, the support he's been in his brother's life, and how the little boy who played the guitar off-tune at four o'clock in the afternoon has become a man made and upright, able to love and defend his people, with a exemplary talent.

Matty blinks, doesn't know how to go on now. He simply knows that he cannot ask for anything else for his life, he is loved by those he loves, and is reciprocated.

The screen lights up for the last time. You and Mayhem.

You look the at George, who cries just like you. He notices your gaze but responds only with a quick smile.

"Hey, honey, this will be short because I hope you know how happy I am to have you in my life." Matty stops controlling the tears, bathes in them, his shirt is full of water right now. So he remembers your message today, and he knows that you were behind all this, no one else would have done it this way otherwise. He sees his dog move his front legs and really misses him: "Happy birthday, I love you more than my words can prove. Thank you for being the most amazing, sweetest human being I've ever met. You're an angel and I love to agree with you." The greeting ends when you send a kiss to the camera, followed by Mayhem's osico in the foreground with a heart, with an M drawn.

The legend of The End stands on top. Everyone has cried, the makeup has gone off but this is the most intimate thing that everyone has experienced today. Everybody's grateful for coming to celebrate Matty.

"Could you please close your eyes?" Adam asks, and Matty is not the one who could say no.

Matty continues sitting, not moving. He can't process everything his head is telling him miles per second. He knows that he can't speak well enough after crying and will only say silly phrases, But it has to. Ross comes to his rescue and has a hand to lift him up. They hug with Matty crying on his shoulder while continuing to repeat that she loves him. Ross pats him on the back and points to Adam on the microphone.

He smells something as smoke, and he's right. Behind the scenes of the three entrances appear his mother, his father and Louis beside him with a rectangular cake with porcelain figures of the little house, and the four figures of the band, with a 35 as a candle.

Ross lets Matty go, and when the distance is unbearable, you're the one who runs to grab his hands when everyone screams to open his eyes. He opens them and finds you embraced to his body more tightly than ever. By inertia, he tightens the grip on your waist without ceasing to hug you. Now neither of us knows who to blame for the water running down the Briton's white shirt.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." You whisper incessantly, as he stabilizes in front of you, trying to get out of the surprise and accepting that you're actually in front of him, it's not a dream, he looks at the cake and cries again. He watches the audience feeling their heart pouring out into their hands. "Happy everything, my love."

He pulls you away from the grip when the birthday song rings out and has the cake in front of him without realizing it, but holds your hand in his fist. He coins it, and he protects it inside him. His smile is sadly short, but he has never had a greater look of genuine love on him than now. His wet eyelids, his face full of dry tears and his eyes glowing like never before. All thanks to you. He looks back at the cake and makes a face of utter surprise when he sees his figure made of porcelain sitting on the piano.

"Hey, that's me!" He's chirping like he's a kid who just ate a paddle he's seen in the store. Its essence is discovered there, that immeasurable happiness that creeps through all present.

He couldn't even think about how much he loves you because everything happens too fast, but he knows that after this he could never leave you. He doesn't know it yet, but this is the moment when Matty would close everything else. After this he would decide that you would be the woman of his life, that he would marry you and that they would have a family. You just kind of signed a sentence saying that he would never let anything happen to you and that if he had to lay down his life for you, he would.

George, Adam and Ross approach Matty as well, along with Polly, John and the rest of the band, all standing in a semicircle in front of the stage. The fire lights up Matty's face who has refused to block the touch of you two. You literally have to whisper his name in his face with a silly smile so he'll let you go and be the only one in the middle of the round.

The flashes of the phones illuminate the scene, there is the same chorus symphony composed of dozens of voices that work at the same time without prior coordination. No, it's not a movie and it's not a dream that someone's going to wake up from, it's really happening.

The fire dissipates, again the sound of clashing palms comforts the place. Denise leaves the cake on the piano and hurls herself at her son. She loves him so much, and is so happy that he can be really happy being who he is. The sequence is quite fast, his family hugs him, then the four hug and the difference in height is noticeable between the four males. Then goes Polly, Jhon and everyone else who's there. The show is delayed for the same reason, but nobody really cares about sacrificing a song to be part of this moment.

He opens his arms towards you and makes you fly through the air for a second before giving you his best Chesire Cat smile. Seize the moment to steal a quick kiss leaving behind the expanse of euphoria that surrounds them. For Matty there really is nothing else right now than him and you on the whole ethereal plane he's met at the age of 35. Fans disappear, the band and their parents too, as long as it merges into you in touch can only feel how they function the same way, being really a single soul trapped between two bodies. God, he's lovesick of the love he has for you, and he could throw it up right now, but surely all he could do is throw up his heart.

The contact ends, and finally he approaches the microphone.

"I really have the greatest persons and the greatest fans in the world. I ́m incredibly glad about it." He runs his hand through his hair and laughs, shedding his last tears. "Saying thanks it wouln ́t be enough, and I could never finish thanking you for all this, but i love each and every one of you, honestly."

Matty grabs his acoustic guitar almost the second he says that. The chords of The birthday party are heard. Everything is extremely special about this song and it is something narrow and deep, there is a truth to count on the song at this moment so charged with sentimentality.

Matty has spent years of his lost life without having a reason to keep him going, floating around while surviving, or trying to. He has come and gone as far as anyone could imagine, has suffered perhaps too much to expose his vulnerability. Indeed, he felt lost in hell during the most unbearably difficult years of his life. He's driven so many people away by his personality and by neglecting so many ties, but now he knows.

He has alienated so many people by his personality and by neglecting so many ties, but now he knows that although he may be late for some, he has enough with him. All your friends are here, in the same scene, no matter what that means.

The following of Guys in a much calmer tone makes everyone end up crying, their most personal song as a band. Matty feels the same as before, his friends have been the best thing that's ever happened to him, and they've saved his life thousands and thousands of times. He could not get used to the idea of lose them, because he would crumble without them in his life.

Just like he would do without you.

In the end, Matty makes fun of himself for being so bitter all day. He really had the best birthday of his entire life.

in my head this is a tender idea of ​​how much I would give way to see matty happy, so I hope that was achieved. also, happy birthday weekend matty you are the best.

let me know what you think, also let me know if you want to be on my tag list <3

[tayjerma]

i don't have much of a good request but maybe some josh x fem!reader angst and fluffy ending? it could be set around Thanksgiving or christmas, whichever you prefer (I would do Christmas but its entirely up to you🤍).

i can’t dare to dream about you anymore

a/n: i chose christmas cause i’m native and don’t give a shit abt thanksgiving, although there isn’t much of a holiday-ish theme lol. undercase is on purpose and i’m gonna leave the ending up for interpretation because i’m not that good at writing fluff! based on gold rush by taylor swift, and did a gender neutral reader for my sanity. my first x reader fic so bear with me if it's not what u hoped. also sorry for how late this is lol i love writing but i am too much of a perfectionist warnings?: from a 3rd person pov. not proofread. christmas. reader is in college. timeline is vague and messy because i am too x. not gut wrenchingly angsty but not particularly happy either. open ending. implied f!reader, but remains gn i believe.

you had met josh last school year in college. this school year, he was nowhere to be found. so instead of staying in l.a. and sulking about him – for some unbeknownst reason, you and josh weren’t particularly close – you decided to take a train ride to your parents’ house for the holidays, because you had missed them badly. besides, what’s there to do in l.a. for christmas anyways? okay, lots of stuff, but none of it really grabbed your attention. josh did, but he isn’t here, so even if you wanted to ask him if he wanted to spend the holidays with you, you couldn’t.

did you want to? i mean seriously, you don’t even know josh like that. sure, he’s pretty in an obvious kind of way, but you have no idea how he acts with his friends. there was that one time he brought that chris guy to a lecture and the two of them got kicked out, but that didn’t really say anything about him other than he’s an idiot. so obviously, you don’t know him well enough to think of him this way, whatever ‘this way’ is.

… however, you can’t help but. josh was always nice to you in class. he seemed quite interested in whatever thing you had to say that week. maybe down the line somewhere, you could be a good friend of his. someone to lean on. but he hasn’t been in class the past couple of days, and shows no sign of coming back. it’s weird, josh always seemed to enjoy himself in class. but, who knows, honestly? maybe he left town early for the holidays. hadn’t he lost his sisters a year or two back? that must be hard. really hard. 

you can’t help but wonder what kind of holiday he’s having. is he having a fun day? maybe not, the holidays without someone as close as a sister can’t be that good. maybe he has a partner keeping him happy? maybe he was too busy with school for a partner.

what are you doing? c’mon, you don’t know him like that. maybe part of you wishes you did though. maybe that’s why you’re on the train, thinking about his stupid face, instead of your family. but… he was always nice to you in class. so surely, he didn’t hate you. and you had done a project together a week ago. and he was always so intrigued in your thoughts and opinions on the matter. but, who knows? maybe that’s just how he is with everyone. he is a nice person, after all.

right. we’ve established that. josh is a nice person, and you can’t stop repeating that to yourself. and it makes no sense. would you even be happy with a guy like josh? he’s a contrarian, almost always for the hell of it. maybe after a while you’d get annoyed with it. or maybe you’d like the challenge. it’s fun to prove someone wrong. most of the time, at least. 

but he’s also sweet, always knows how far is too far. he knows not to push things when they’re grating on the floor. but maybe you wouldn’t even call him out on whatever point that’s cryptic he’s making. maybe you’d stare into space and forget about it 5 seconds later. or roll your eyes in faux amusement.

okay, what are you doing? josh is an actual guy that you know. would he even be okay with this intense thinking about him that you’re doing? probably not, right? you can’t know that unless you ask him, of course. but maybe that’s for the better. just let the allusionment of him stick in the back of your mind. it’s not doing anything bad, anyways. plus, you’ve got your family to get home to.

the train is pulling to a stop, anyways. you need to get off and have some much needed warm tea. it’s been a long day of doing practically nothing. so, you shuffled off the train, and a nice man who had been sitting across from you helped you get your bag out of the top compartment. it’s sort of precious to be back in your hometown, and for a second you just stand on the sidewalk, before you start dragging your bags along.

“do you need any help with those?” that familiar raspy voice calls out to you. and you know he’s talking to you, because this is an empty street in the middle of a friday. 

“josh?” you smile when you turn around to see his stupid face standing behind you.

hope u enjoy <3 reblogs appreciated

[flickering-nightfall]

I’m pretty sure that you made a post explaining why the arm is not the umbilical but I can’t find it, so, if you did make one, can you give a link to it? Sorry if you didn’t make one, I don’t have very good memory.

I'm not entirely sure which post that is but it sounds like something I'd ramble about? I have this post talking about making a 3D umbilical and this post talking about making a 3D arm with allusions to that buuut...

If that post doesn't exist then I'll make one right now!

Here, I made a diagram of terminology I use for the puppet/arm/umbilical structure. These terms aren't necessarily canon - they're just what I use.

As for umbilicals being different from mechanical arms, it's an interpretation, I think. But there's reasons why I call them different things.

So first here's this Moon dialogue.

(I think that's vanilla dialogue? The wiki confuses me sometimes. Link here if you want to see it yourself.)

We can assume from that dialogue that the wires + cord are the "umbilical." Moon's are obviously cut, but Pebbles' are not. And Moon's puppet is still attached to her mechanical arm.

(Lots more under the cut)

Umbilicals in real life resemble the wire/cord structure far more than the mechanical arm portion does. So that's another reason I refer to the wire/cord as the umbilical.

Lemme slap some stuff from my iterator headcanons doc here.

I like interpreting the puppet as a place to focus an iterator's consciousness. It acts as a sensory hub and a means to interact more finely with their surroundings. Neurons, in turn, are active memory comparable to RAM. Moon refers to Pebbles' imprints on his neurons as "a ghost left from his processing routines." They're not meant for long-term memory storage, but upper processes such as, well... thinking... cannot be done without them. So removing neurons affects an iterator’s ability to encode, recall, and process information. (Courtesy of my friend Folly, I also think they're mostly made out of fat. Kind of gross to eat.) Although Moon's umbilical is severed, she is still able to see through and control the movements of her puppet. So either she has some sort of other connection to the rest of her can, or her consciousness comes from the puppet rather than the can. The mechanical arm’s functions would be mostly structure-to-puppet function (control movements of arm and puppet, transmit the sensory information of the puppet) while the wire/cord handles more consciousness-in-puppet-to-structure function (facilitates awareness and control over superstructure and all that encompasses). So both the cord and the arm are part of the iterator-to-puppet connection, but the cord is more important. I feel like with the wire OR the arm's internals intact, the iterator can maintain perception of the puppet. When you give Moon an overseer eye, she says, “I am not much more than what you are looking at - a little creature in a box.” This can be literal, or it can imply that her perception is just limited to what she can see through her puppet in her damaged state.

In Rivulet’s campaign, the rarefaction cell could be partial compensation for a missing umbilical. Moon can move on her arm, call up image projections, reconnect to her overseers, and broadcast locally to Pebbles after getting the rarefaction cell. She refers to it as finally having her freedom back. But we don't know how many of her systems she does or does not have access to anymore.

If you eat one of Pebbles' neurons in front of him as Rivulet he says "I would appreciate if you would not eat those. My umbilical will keep me conscious, but every neuron lost is a piece of me lost as well..." We know that Pebbles keeps his wires/cord/arm connected in Saint's campaign, though, and he remains conscious despite having no visible neurons. Does the umbilical compensate for the lack of neurons as well? Maybe there are some still alive in the structure that we can’t see, and the umbilical allows him to stay connected to them.

...honestly, I think downpour makes questions about umbilicals harder to answer than if you only base off of vanilla lore. But I like working with downpour stuff, so oh well.

One last thing - the wiki page for Moon also says this under her trivia: "Looks to the Moon is still connected to the wall by her umbilical, but the damaged hardware lacks power to let her move around." Other references to umbilicals written throughout the wiki imply the arm is the umbilical as well. But! I don't know where the writers of that got that information. I don't think there's anything in the game that confirms that the umbilical and the arm are the same. If there's anything in the game that supports that, let me know~

So to summarize: I think evidence suggests the wires + cord are the umbilical because Moon refers to hers being cut. The mechanical arm could also be a part of the umbilical, or it be considered a different part that provides function in a different way. I usually refer to them separately, but that's just me, and I mostly do it for the sake of clarity. It's not confirmed canon.

There are a lot of things about Rain World lore you can run in circles around for hours, but not find any definitive conclusions for. It's part of the fun even if it drives me nuts sometimes. Come be confused with me :)

[lowkeyrobin]

Hellooo, I was wondering if you could do MCYT with an S/O who has ADHD? (Mostly hyperfixates on horror games, etc.) I personally have a bad habit of walking around till my legs are sore (my leg has been sore for the past three days please help I can't get rid of this energy ahh-) and how MCYT would react to that/stop Y/N from. Doing that lol

HELP THIS IS SO REAL BAHAHHAHABA ; thank you for the request 🫶🫶 ; sorry if anything seems a little wrong, I'm kinda looking into if I have adhd but obv idk and I'm not diagnosing myself, but I obviously am not diagnosed so I don't know the full ins and outs and I know it's a spectrum, so uh yeah 👍 hopefully I did good lol

MCYT ; ADHD shenanigans

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu & quackity

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he'll walk into your stream, sit down, look at your screen, then blankly stare at you when he realizes what you're playing

"Dude. are you streaming FNAF again?"

you nod with a smile "yupppp"

he spends the rest of your stream talking to chat and trying to scare you more

you're just talking about the lore and shit and he's loosely hanging onto it LMAO

if you're just like pacing around the house he'll look up at you like "bro you okay?"

will genuinely join in as well, he's always got the energy

he doesn't mean to enable like hurting yourself to a point, but once he realizes he is kind of enabling it he'll immediately stop

"sit down, here, skip leg day for once, focus on those noodle arms of yours"

"says you! the fuck?"

RANBOO

let's you rant about your fixations and the lore and whatnot

I mean they won't deny that the Blair Witch Project video game is really good

they even buy you posters of the Blair Witch Project movie and video game (we don't talk about the movies after the first...)

even gets you merch off the official game site too (if that exists? I'm not sure istg there was merch tho)

they start to get a little fixated on it too considering they love hearing about the lore and theories from you and stuff

they even play it on stream and dedicate it to you

"thanks for the content y/n"

when you're running through the house, he'll race with you for a while before finding some other ways for you to release energy without making yourself sore

at one point he just gives you coffee that way you'll crash and burn after a few hours

I mean at least you don't feel like your legs are about to pop off your body

FREDDIE BADLINU

invested in the resident evil lore because of you

"I saw this and thought of you" AND ITS A LEON KENNEDY EDIT LMFAOOO

I mean yeah

loves hearing you rant about the games and everything, he could listen to you talk for hours

when you're all strung up on energy he also enables it without realizing at first

when he can tell it's more than just being energetic he'll help you find ways to calm down

if need be, he'll read to you, instant sleep I swear

or when he starts talking you'll be fully invested in his words

"yknow, Google listed among us as a horror game and I really cannot-"

NIKI NIHACHU

the amount of dead by daylight merch and the amount of money that you've spent on it is kinda concerning

but she loves listening to you rant about how the kill animations are so awesome and about new maps and characters and dlcs

I mean it's your current fixation, of course she'd listen to every single word you'd have to say

she even plays with you on stream a lot as well

when you're strung up on energy, she'll take you out for a run, you're like a dog on a leash though because she's not trying to lose you

"niki, come on! I wanna see the water snakes!"

"I'm coming, I can't sprint like you do, darling!"

QUACKITY

"of all the games, why is five nights at freddy's the one you're fixated on?"

he loves hearing you rant and explain lore and theories to him tho

genuine love language

he'll even play it on stream with you

"and the purple guy basically killed all the kids, and the kids basically scared him into the springlock suit and it literally killed him so he possesses that suit now-"

he'll just joke about the amount of energy you have

like Ranboo, will serve you coffee so you can crash and burn considering you end up begging him to help you

[17panicattacksinatrenchcoat]

max's writing tips 7: balancing your creations and mental health

heads up! this post is more serious than my other writing advice content and contains light discussions of burnout, anxiety and depression. hiding it behind the 'keep reading' button for those who may find it upsetting

please remember that this is my personal experience, and that the advice I give here is what helped me recover from a bad time, and avoid burnout in the future. I hope my advice can also help you, but if it doesn't, that's okay too! writing advice isn't one size fits all.

Do not push yourself to extremes for the sake of completing a challenge or meeting an arbitrary deadline- Challenging yourself and setting goals is great so long as they are feasible and you will not hurt yourself doing them. In January of this year, I felt like I hadn't been writing enough and forced myself to write every day until I completed the first draft of a novel I'd been putting off. This wasn't healthy because a) I write at a pretty slow pace --I have to let my projects marinate in my head for a good amount of time, and prefer to work multiple projects at once-- so the goal was pretty much the opposite of my preferred writing process and b) I did this with no planning other than writing upwards of 2k words each day for three months. This did not go as planned: I had to stop short of my goal. I did write 80k words (none of which were very good) at the cost of my physical and mental health. After finishing work and life stuff I would sit down at my computer for five hours and wrack out a few thousand words every day for all of January, February, and about half of March. I forgot to drink water and eat enough, lived off of caffeine, and did not sleep because I was planning the next day's work; obviously, this was terrible for me and I felt pretty ill most of the time. My anxiety also flared up during this time. I thought I was having some kind of health problem because I'd lost a bit of weight, was having bad headaches, and was constantly out of breath; I didn't realize until I took a break that I didn't have a medical condition, but that I'd been overworking myself to the breaking point.

Look after your health. I was lucky not to have wreaked any lasting effects on my body during those months, but I felt very bad at the time. Eat substantial meals. Drink enouh water. Sleep enough, for God's sake. Be sure to go outside, also, and keep up with your friends and family; I was a bit of a recluse during this time and was bad about meeting up with people face to face instead of texting them.

Pushing yourself to work quickly to a degree that you're harming yourself will probably not produce a good product. Even if it does end up being good, is it really worth it?

Learn how your writing process works and get better at understanding your mental health needs, and when you need to take breaks. I cannot give you so much advice for this because it's something you need to figure out by yourself. I recommend journaling; also, seeing a therapist if you're able to.

Writing is supposed to be fun (and, if not fun, fulfill you in some other way.) It's your hobby. When your hobby starts taking away more joy than it's giving, it stops being a hobby. It becomes a chore.

Take routine breaks. This doesn't mean that you have to stop writing altogether during those times if you don't want to; it might mean switching up the project you're working on. I also recommend having another creative hobby (cooking, playing an instrument, drawing or painting, scrapbooking/collaging etc) to work on during your breaks.

i hope you're doing well today, everyone. remember that it's okay to go at your own pace.