#and obviously fish food out from under covers

[crownstar]

there are three different people at work who have been trying to teach the office dog (a golden retriever ok) the command "shake".... for months.... with exactly zero progress

as a joke I went to see if I can teach my cat shake faster than they get the dog to shake ONCE... and it's been three days and he's already got it like 80% down. his biggest problem is just impatience lol

[dropsnectar]

Your Puppy Siren!: When a Siren becomes a House Husband

PART TWO

NSFW

Obviously, when Baby got his legs, you couldn't just abandon him. You weren't sure exactly what was next for the two of you,, so you took it one step of a time. Baby had an issue with that, as balance wasn't necessarily a skill he could magic up with his oceanic enchantments.

He leaned on you the whole way home, taking jerky steps through the grasses.

When you showed him around the house, and the first thing he did was ask where you slept. You had shown him your bedroom and he immediately made himself comfortable about the blankets and pillows. You set him up with a copy of ‘The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe”, before going to make him dinner: mild Japanese curry. 

It was mostly vegetables, as you had only had a few ounces of ground beef left, but you hoped his stomach was as human as his now legs. His whole body had changed, leaving him now almost albino pale, with large dark eyes that were still a bit too big for his human face.

When you went to walk him to the dining room table, you found him standing, holding the book to the ceiling as he read. He was leaning back and forth on each foot, as if the movement kept him upright. Perhaps he still had his sea legs under all that new skin. 

He still needed your help to get to the table but his steps were more sure now. He ate the food happily, making sure to compliment you whenever possible. On the way back to your room, Baby could now keep his balance as he went. The first thing he did was gather as many pillows and blankets as he could from the living room, before leading you by the hand to your room, and arranging them further on the bed.

“Do you like it?” He asked, eyes eager. It had never occurred to you that Sirens may nest, but you took it in stride.

“It looks very warm.” you apeased, tired. 

Sleeping on the nest didn't go as bad as you thought, but Baby had been a bit confused when you had tucked a blanket around the two of you

“It's to keep us warm.” 

He had responded by pulling you to his arms and wrapping his legs around you.

“I can do that just fine.” He beamed. You laughed and let him hold you as you fell asleep. You could figure out Baby's fate tommorrow.

You had always pushed off the deciding of Baby's fate to tommorrow. You couldn't face it. Going to your part time job, then nursing school had been difficult for you. You were exhausted everyday you came back home.

Baby made himself as useful as he could. You had taught him some of the basics of cleaning the house. He had seemed somewhat confused by the idea of cleaning, but he took it upon himself to make sure the place was gleaming when you got home. You had taken him to the library a day after his legs sprung up, and he had carried home a pile of books, one of them being “Martha Stawarts Complete Guide to Housekeeping”.

 You hadn't resided in the place long, but places you hadn't even realized were dirty were suddenly sparkling and smelling lightly of lavender and orange peels. 

He had also brought home a whole pile of fish. It seemed that he could now shift his form back and forth at will. You remember coming home, sweat covered and in need of ibuprofen, when you found a pile of fish on the kitchen table. He had looked so proud if himself.

“We can keep them all in the freezer! What a useful device!”

You had gently taken his arms in hand and explained that humans weren't able to eat fish whole like sirens could. They had to be stripped of their scales and deboned. He seemed a bit tired by this, yet another a strange human quirk, but had taken it in stride. Per his request you had set him up with an instructional video on the subject. 

He seemed to catch on pretty quickly, the only difference was that rather than using a sharp knife, he had preferred to use his talon like nails. They were retractable, he clarified later, and arguing they were cleaner than any knife when you had demanded he washed his hands before working.

“They will only get dirty again anyway!” He had argued, one of the few times he had ever done anything but smile at you. The concept of germs was met with raised eyebrows and apprehension. 

For the first time in your life, you gave him “the look”. As this seemed to be a communication move that spanned species, he gave in, washing his talons? Claws? Before going back to his work.

A silent system had begun to flesh itself out. You brought home the money and groceries, and did most of the cooking, he did everything else. And anything you asked of him. Which wasn't much, but he became more and more useful by the day. 

You couldn't help but feel a bit proud for Baby. The more you learned about him and Siren Life the more different the two of you seemed. But he had been adjusting so well, you almost didn't have to worry about him. Plus, it was hard to be mad at someone who made a point of taking care of you, like he did. 

He gave you shoulder messages, microwaved old dinners when you didn't feel like eating. Hed shush you, and sometimes carry you to bed, petting your hair and singing you to sleep everytime everything felt like too much. And that was often. 

It had been a week since he had taken up shop in your bedroom, and reality reared its big fat head like a snake. You had been whisked away to bed, and instead of cooing at you and humming that impossibly sweet voice of his, he had started to nibble on the side of your neck, hands reaching towards your pajama shorts. His tongue felt so incredibly good, and his touch was like silk, but you knew where this would leave.

“Stop. We don't have any protection.”

He had frozen and blinked at you, expression changing to the barely concealed mask of an adult trying to not laugh at a child's sudden declaration.

“If I sense any danger, I will deal with it immediately. Now come here…” His voice grew husky. You trailed back.

“I know we haven't talked about this before but what if… well you're a human so im not sure if it'll be the same but… I can't get pregnant. I don't know if it works the old fashion way or you might lay eggs in me or something but… we need to be careful.”

He was still smiling but he was biting his lip. “While I DO lay eggs, that part of me hasn't changed, I don't understand why it would be an issue. I am your husband, after all, shouldn't it be normal to have children at some point?”

“H-husband? Why do you think you're my husband?”

Babys face changed, the closest you had ever seen him get to upset. “We mated, we share a nest, how am I NOT your husband?”

“We had sex, yeah, but we didn't get married. Do Sirens mate for life? Is that why you think this?” 

His expression grew animated and confused.

“Sirens do not mate for life, we have breeding seasons. But Humans mate for life, do they not? Why do you think I have been doing all this? I mean, I even made you a nest and you slept with me in it! How much more is their to a human marriage ritual?” 

You stared at him, the realization dawning. You slowly put your hand over his and arranged your expression to one of patience.

“Humans used to mate for life. But ita a bit different now. We can have sex, even spend years courting before we agree to marry.”

Baby just stared at you, his confusion and anger turning to one of hurt.

“B-but what does that mean? I told you, I love you. I want to be with you.” He leaned forward tears starting to glisten at the corner of his eyes.

“I wanted a life with you. I threw my old life away the moment I got these legs. I have no idea where my pod is now, I can not return to them. I do not wish to return. I want to stay here, with you and be your mate.” He nuzzled his nose against yours and then took your cheeks in his hand. He gazed into your eyes, filled with longing.

“I may be new to being your partner; at being Human too. But I will do whatever you ask of me. Please. Be mine?” 

He started to kiss your forehead. Then your eyes. Then your cheeks. His gaze strayed to your lips and he whined out, full blown tears now streaming from his eyes. 

“I'll be so good. So good for you.” 

Your heart went out to him. You had to admit, life had gotten so much easier to bear since he had entered it. No one could make you laugh like he could, could make you as curious as he could, could kiss you like he could. 

You thought about it. Genuinely thought about it. You had a job, and nursing would pay you enough to pay for both of your lives once you started. You'd have to teach him how to properly navigate human society but he was so smart and charming, you were sure he would do so well. You came up with so many reasons why it could be doable, but the most important one was you didn't want to let him go.

“It'll be really hard for you. Are you sure you want this?” You whispered. “Want… me? You could spend the rest of your life sharing your season with mate after mate. Are you sure you would want to spend the rest of your days with me?”

He looked at you with intensity, the light finally dawning across his features. 

“It will always be you.” And then he was on you. Was kissing you.

He was quick to take off your clothes, and did the same. His mouth was hot and needy, the feeling of his tongue in your mouth being everything you could ever want. That was except for one or two other places. 

As if he could read your mind, he grinned, pulling himself down to stare at your groin, fingers grasping, teasing and exploring every sensitive curve and crevice. Then he got to work with his mouth and you groaned, your core turning molten. You could hear the noises of his mouth on your flesh, and it made your cheeks overheat. 

His tongue glided around you as he sucked with his full mouth, making you shake and jerk under him. He made sure to pin you down with his hands now, before he started to trill and sing around you.

You chocked, pushing your hips up against his big string hands, which were now a mix of grey and white. It seems he had been riled up to, as his form was caught halfway between human and Siren. It was a new sight and he was absolutely gorgeous and one long note made you crash over the edge, toes and fingers curling. 

The whole time his eyes were on you, gauging your reaction. He continued to auck you through the high but now started clawing at your entrance, circling slick little shapes. He seemed to take great joy in this, teasing your ache, before he plunged his fingers in making you choke and sigh all at once. When he was certain the area was worked enough, he gave you big puppy dog eyes. 

“Can I be yours again?” He whispered huskies slowing the rate of his fingers. You nodded and he pulled himself up, pumping his own cock a few times making sure it was properly slick. His cock was half transformed too. It was extremely veins and the ridges weren't as pronounced, but he was thicker. You licked your lips as you remembered how he felt inside you.

Aware that you were watching him he keened in pride. He then slowly inserted himself, pushing further and further until you took every inch of him. You gasped out and clawed at the sheets in pleasure as he pumped you, his own eyes glazing over as he unleashed low, pornagraphic moans. He was louder than he had ever been, snapping his hips into yours, fingers clutching deep into skin. He looked completely blissed out as he rocked himself into you, huffing and moaning.

“Sound. So. Beautiful.” You breathed, knowing he was getting close. You could feel a heaviness now in the air. He wouldn't be able to help it. He'd be so drunk he'd use that song of his and you'd cum and cum for him until he was too far in exctasy to make any noise. And you were right.

You could tell he was holding it in. But he couldn't help but hum out, a song that seemed to cup and penatrate your very soul, making your entire mind stuffy and silly. You didn't want him to stop, going over the edge as another one of his moans turned into a full blown note. He kept bucking into you, skin slapping skin, as he keened and hummed and sang out for you. He wanted you to feel good. Wanted you to cum and feel good only for him. Because you were his.

When you felt his cum splash inside you it was warm, and more sludge like. It took a while to seep put of you. A comedic point in the back of your mind noted, “No eggs”. 

He pulled himself to your side, pulling you tight to him. “Can… can I stay in you for a while?” He said it in a light begging tone. You nodded, a pulse of faraway pleasure as he pushed his soft dick inside you again. It felt nice, being one with him in this sweet comfortable moment.

You wanted to ask him about the magic, about the song and how for just a moment, it was like you could read his mind. But their was something so special about the moment, you didn't want to push him too far. Maybe next time, you could egg him on to use that power on you, to be completely encompassed by his pleasure and song. 

“I know your tired, and we can wait but… can we do it again?” He pushed his nose to yours and traced it up and down, his eyes watery and begging. You could feel his dick twitch inside you. 

“Please just let me spoil you. It is our wedding night after all…”

You had to stop yourself from correcting him. Tomorrow you would explain vows and wedding ceremony, but for now you'd just give in. But you had to admit, now a big piece of you belonged only to him.. So, in a way he had been right.

[writtenbymoonflower]

Hello lovely! I have a pretty weird/specific request. So if you don’t feel like writing it no big deal. I have celiacs, which means anytime I eat gluten(bread and such) my body turns autoimmune. Meaning every time I eat it(on accident but I just got diagnosed we all thought I just had a shitty immune system and a sensitive tummy so it’s been a bit of an adjustment) I end up getting an upper respiratory infection/issues or the flu(body aches and all). Anyways can I have a small story with whichever marauder you think fits it, with clod/flu supplies always at the ready and just not minding that she is ALWAYS sick 🥺 if not it’s a okay I understand 💕💕 just feel free to delete ☺️☺️

hi hunny! i hope you are doing well! remus lupin x fem!reader

cw: mentions of being sick, flu like symptoms

650 words

When the bedroom door opened, you could see the immediate concern written over Remus’ face. Under usual circumstances, he would get home about an hour before you, more if things at work were particularly swamped. Seeing that you were home obviously long before him, wrapped in twisted sheets and looking miserable, was enough to make him panic. Still, he was as gentle as ever when he crouched by your bedside, the back of his hand pressed to your scorching cheek. 

“Thought I saw your shoes by the door.” He mused, a deep groove making its home between his brows. “You feeling sick, dove?” You nodded, a wave of nausea going through you from the movement. 

“Lunch was catered at work today. My food was mislabeled, I got sent home a few hours ago.” You said miserably, squirming and desperately trying to burrow further to escape the chills. Though that meant you were too warm to be comfortable. Remus cooed sadly at your struggle. 

“I’m so sorry, darling.” He said, smoothing your damp hair from your forehead. “Have you taken anything?”

You shook your head. “When I got back I just laid down.” You knew he would to chide you, but he could see how bad you felt. His mouth was downturned, pressed into a sad line as he took in your state. 

“Are you aching? I’ll get you some paracetamol.” 

You groaned. “I think I’m out.” He ignored you, moving over to his side of the bed. You turned to watch him as he dug through his bottom bedside drawer, fishing out a thermometer and various clattering plastic bottles. He held the reader over your forehead, humming disapprovingly at the beep. 

“37.7.” He sighed, setting the thermometer down on your nightstand. “Have you eaten anything since you got sick, lovely? You can’t have these on an empty stomach.” 

You shook your head, sitting up. “I don’t know if I can handle any food right now.” He tucked your hair behind your ear, gently caressing your jaw and pouting. 

“I can get you some fruit and tea? You don’t need much, just a little something.” When you still looked unsure he sighed, though still eternally patient. “If you don’t have something it’s just going to hurt worse, baby dove.” 

You sighed. “I can try.” You smiled, more for his sake than yours. He kissed your scorching forehead. You pulled away fast, feeling a coughing fit overtake you. Remus cooed and rubbed your back as you struggled. 

“You poor thing, that doesn’t sound very good.” He grabbed the tissue box and covered your mouth for you. You wanted to bat him away and shriek, but you leaned against his chest miserably. 

“I’m sorry I always make you do this.” You muttered. He pulled away, looking at you confused. 

“You make me do… what, exactly?” He still stroked your face and head gently. 

“I’m always sick and you always have to look after me. It’s not fair to-” You couldn’t finish the sentence without coughing again. He let your fit ease before he rebutted.

“You don’t make me do anything. I don’t, and would not, do anything I wouldn't wish to.” He said intense, yet kind. “And it’s hardly your fault, it’s not like this is fair on you either, lovely girl.” 

You sighed. “You didn’t sign up for this.” He looked up thoughtfully for a moment before leaning in close, nearly touching his forehead to yours. 

“I signed up for you. All, of you.” His tone was sweet, but left no room for argument. 

“Thank you.” You mouthed. He smiled, kissing your cheek. 

“I’m going to get you some food.” He said, standing up. “And then you should get some rest.” You resisted the urge to chase him. 

“Will you stay with me?” You asked, hopeful.

“That was never in question.” He kissed your forehead again.

[squad-724]

Crosshair’s first day in the Pabu Sea Sanctuary part 2

Part 1

Once again written by the amazing @pinetree-tbb

Crosshair did not realize that he let out quiet whines and high pitched whistles while asleep. He didn’t realize he was sobbing. All he knew was that he was in pain

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

"You shouldn't have grabbed him so hard." Echo told his brother.

"Well, I couldn't just let him go over, you saw how hurt he is."

"He slammed right into the edge of the wall!"

"Not so loud!" Fives hissed "If he finds out we are here, he's probably never gonna rest!" The twins sat at the far end of the pond, hiding behind a few plants, looking to the stones where the eel mer burrowed himself under.

"All I'm saying is, that you could have been a bit gentler..."

"... sorry." From where they hid, they could hear the painful little whines from their new friend, Echo feeling a deep sorrow for him. "Come on, let's talk to the others." Fives chirped and with a few strokes of their tails they broke the water surface, Phee, Kix and Riyo already waiting.

"Hey boys" Phee greeted them and knelt down in the sand "He is still in the pool, right?" They nodded, sitting up in the water and Fives moved his hands to talk

'He burrowed himself under a pile of rocks at the bottom... He's hurt... very hurt.' The humans looked into the water.

"We have to get him to eat somehow..." Kix mumbled "He’s very thin, if he doesn't gain weight again soon, he will die of starvation and malnutrition. And I really don’t want to forcefully sedate him for an IV or feeding tube."

"I don't think he's gonna accept the food we provide, he seems very stubborn." Riyo noted.

"Idea." Echo's synthesizer suddenly voiced out. They all looked at him, he just smiled back and pushed the device again, which voiced out another "Idea."

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Crosshair passed out after a while and fell into a dreamless sleep. When he awoke again he could smell something delicious. It was early morning, the sky only starting to brighten, and the eel mer tasted the water again. It was mostly tinged with the metallic scent of his own blood, but under it he smelled something different... something... tempting. A bit of sunlight shone through a tiny hole by the entrance of his burrow. He dug a bit of sand away to have a look at the outside of his hideout. As his eyes adjusted to the light he saw that, at an arm's length away from where he was curled up, sat two fish wrapped together in seaweed and with a stone attached on top to weigh them down.

He felt a stabbing pain in his stomach, but resisted the urge to go out and take it. It was obviously a trap, in which the humans probably put something in to make him lose consciousness or strength to recapture him. So Crosshair only narrowed his eyes, put his ears back and withdrew, shoving the sand up to close the hole again.

After a while, he didn't know if it had been minutes or hours, the smell of fresh fish filled the water again and he looked up. There was a hole in the sand with daylight shining through it. Which was weird, he knew he covered the entrance fully. Someone must have made that hole, which means that he was not alone in the pool. Crosshair moved, hissing slightly as the pain rushed through his entire body with every motion, removed a handful of sand and peeked outside.

There was another pair of fish next to the ones before, the new ones floating much closer to his burrow than the previous ones, but he just shoved the sand back up. With the painful growls of his stomach he fell asleep to wake up when the sun was already setting. He did not feel any better after rest, no, his wounds felt like they were stinged by a jellyfish and then alcohol was rubbed on them. He felt so nauseous he would probably throw up if his stomach wasn’t empty already. When he was finally able to open his eyes he noticed that once again, there was a tiny hole in the entrance of his hideout under the rocks.

Crosshair dragged his body to the opening to look outside again and saw a third pair of fish, directly in front of him. He was hungry, very hungry. He did not know how long he hadn't been eating. But he won't even touch this. With a quick flick of his tail he pushed the fish away and covered the entrance again. He had to get out of here, he had to find his brothers, he had to make a plan... But his pain and hunger woudln’t let him think straight.

Crosshair hadn’t slept the whole night, feeling the agony of his sunburned back and sand filled cuts. The scent of freshly killed fish didn’t help either, tempting and baiting him. He let out a huff, he was so hungry… He put his cheek on the blissfully cold rocks and continued to drift in and out of consciousness.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

"He still won't eat them." Crosshair shot up startled, eyes fixed on the entrance, when did someone get so close without him noticing?! He heard more clicking and whistling, two separate voices.

"He probably thinks it's poisoned or something."

"You think this is gonna work Echo?" The voices swam nearer and Crosshair pressed himself in the back of his hole, his burns and cuts stinging by the movement.

"I know it will," He saw a clawed finger stick through the entrance, leaving behind a little hole, the morning light shining through. Was it morning already? "Just give him time." After that, the voices disappeared, outside quiet once again. Crosshair peeked out again and sure there they were, directly before the hole. Two fish wrapped in seaweed, weighed down with a stone. He considered for a moment, but then turned his back and shoved the sand up again with his tail.

Part 3

[thatanimeramenchick]

I just thought of somethin(I’m sorry if I’m spamming or anything. I’ve got ADHD so my brain is constantly making ideas that I have to share. I do not wish to overwhelm you)

What about a Yandere Lucifer(Hazbin) with a immortal human reader? They were cursed from a young age with immortality because of a mistake there mother made. They can die but don’t really stay dead. Every time they die they get a scar so there covered with them both large and small. They go to university but was supposed to be sacrificed by a cult to Lucifer but obviously survived but now there stuck with Lucifer always being around?

Yandere Lucifer x Human Sacrifice Reader Pt. 1

You’re fine! Definitely not spamming. I just might take some time before I get to writing it. Lucifer has me in a choke hold, but so does Vox. I also wanted to do this idea justice, as it actually has a lot of potential, so it took me a little while before I finally felt like it sounded kind of decent. Also it was getting long, so going to be a two parter.

Part Two

Trigger Warning: Graphic Violence

Word Count: 2,431

---

You first realized something was wrong when you were twelve.

It was a warm August afternoon, perfect for a day on the lake. Only a week left before school, your extended family was having a last little hurrah camping trip. Water brushed against your shoulders as you waded through the water, looking for small fish and crawdads. Your cousins were on the shore, half asleep as they rested from swimming.

“Kids! It’s time for lunch!” you heard your Aunt’s voice fill the air.

Eager for food, like any other over-exhausted child, you turn quickly on the slick rocks, ready to run inside.

“Wait for me!” you cry out, taking no care in how fast you were moving.

And down you went. Your slipped right out from under you and sent you crashing beneath the waves. A roar filled your ears as your body ripped through the water and sent your head against the stone ground. Along with the cold water, you felt a hot liquid bubbling from the crown of your head.

Whether from shock or pain, you were unable to swim. You thrashed and attempted to scream, only letting more water into your throat. Surely someone had heard you falling and would come to save you, right? There was no way they hadn’t heard you.

Yet as seconds passed, you started to think that maybe no one had heard you. Every passing moment felt like an eternity as you were unable to hold your breath and water choked down your throat.

You swore that you felt your lungs literally ripping apart, splitting at the seams in a pain that was so intense you felt like you would black out. You suddenly knew what it was like to be the balloons you and your cousins had blown up with a little too much air and watched pop into a million pieces.

The oxygen must finally have evaporated from the combination of fluid filling your lungs and blood leaving your body. This was it.

You were going into the arms of the angels.

---

To this day, beneath your hair, was the large scar from “the incident” as your family referred to it.

Well, when they referred to it at all, which was almost never.

All you had remember was awakening in the hospital, gasps, tears, and even a scream filling the air as you sat up.

“I-impossible!” your aunt had said, gazing in shock at you, “She was… She had to be….”

“I told you, the doctors had made a mistake,” your mother had said calmly. She had been sitting beside you, squeezing your hand. Though her words were soft and controlled, there were tears on the edges of her eyes.

Your cousins started crying as well, coming forward, looking just as stunned. The only one who had seemed unsurprised was your mother, who held your hand in a death grip.

That day lived in infamy in your mind. Though nothing had ever been explained, small snippets from conversations you hadn’t been meant to overhear had formed an image of what had happened.

Finally, it had been noticed that you were not there, and your eldest cousin had been the horrified witness to your body in the lake, water red from the massive loss of blood. Though they had called the ambulance, it was clear to everyone that you had died before they had even got there.

Or so they had thought.

You had been laid in the hospital, check on, with no pulse or breath in you. Your family had been in the room crowding around you, all saying final goodbyes. All except your mother, who had simply grabbed onto your hand and insisted that you weren’t dead. The doctor had made a mistake, you would be fine. Naturally, your Aunt and Uncle thought that your mother was simply confused after the traumatic experience.

But you had woken up. Suddenly, something had changed. The machines detected life, and you had taken a gasping breath before groggily opening your eyes.

The nurses and doctors had seem just as spooked as your extended family, but once it was determined that somehow you had survived and your lungs were intact, they let you go. Someone must have made some kind of mistake at some point.

There had been no explanation, logical or otherwise for your salvation. Your mother said that you must be under divine protection, and you had accepted the answer, as much as you weren’t really convinced of it. Convinced or not, you were alive, and you supposed that was what mattered.

That had been nine years ago. It was something you rarely thought about anymore, though recently, you had been wondering about it. The whole thing was weird, and your studies in medical school only made it weirder.

You didn’t have time to think about it these days though. You were short on two things, money and time. Which is why you were now looking at the posters hung in the cafeteria for an opportunity to make some quick cash.

You had some cash flow from your repeated donations of plasma and blood cells, as well as the occasional babysitting gig in between studies. You needed more though, and the flier you were looking at was promising a lot of pay if you went to this interview and were accepted as a participant for an experiment that some seniors were doing. So many of you had participated in a couple of experiments for professors and students to earn a buck here and there. You could do it again. You ignored the vague wording, thinking that it was probably some experimentation that involved the subjects being in the dark.

So now, you were sitting on a park bench with the interviewer for the program, being drilled harder than if you had stayed out all night as a teenager.

“Do drugs, smoke, alcohol?” the interviewer asked.

“No,” you said.

“All right,” she said, "And... we'll need to know you're relationship history as well. Any boyfriends, girlfriends?”

“I had one boyfriend in high school,” you said, "Been too busy last few years though.”

“Just one boyfriend... Ok, and any hookups?” she asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Like, you know, bar or party hookups. Casual sex.”

“I-I- Uh... No,” you said.

“So you're a virgin?” she asked.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t see how this is relevant,” you said, feeling uncomfortable.

“It’s necessary information for dividing the groups in our experiment,” she said, “Your personal name isn’t going to be connected to any of this. But we need to know as much personal information as possible if you want us to consider you for this. We need to know our subjects on a deep level.”

You sigh in irritation, “Fine, whatever. Yes, I am.”

“Ok,” she said, scribbling something down.

After a few more minutes of interrogation, she stood up.

“All right then, I think I have everything I need to know. We will be in touch if you pass all right? If you do, you'll be contacted on the meeting place for the experimentation,” she said.

---

A week later, you had gotten a call back from the same interviewer, saying you had passed initial testing. They assigned a day for you to show up at the lab. After you had arrived on the appointed day and signed some wavers, they took you aside and gave you some medication, saying they were conducting a test on REM sleep in three sessions. The first two had gone typically, and you had awoken, mind numb and fuzzy after the sessions. But something was different when you woke up the third time. You weren't in the lab.

You awoke, foggy eyed, your mind still grainy. The room was freezing, even more so than the normally cool temperature it was kept at. In a few seconds, you realized you weren't in the lab at all or likely the university. Your surroundings were totally alien as you realized where you were and who you were with.

You were looking up at a circle of men and women in black and red cloaks. A sickening smell of incense fills the air, and you feel something right digging into your wrists and ankles. In moments, you realize you have been tied down to a stone altar, somewhere dark and damp, like a cave or temple. Directly over you stands a middle aged man, holding a knife.

“She’s perfect,” he said, “A beautiful young virgin. Not tainted in any way, in good health. The ideal sacrificial lamb.”

The day of the incident was swarming back into your mind as you now struggled against the rope tying you own, as futile as you had felt slapping against the water. You couldn’t even attempt to scream, a cloth was shoved so far down your throat, the scent of whatever chemical they had dipped in it making it burn. Part of you wondered if you would vomit and repeatedly suffocate before he could even stab you.

“Oh Lucifer, we call upon you to accept this sacrifice,” the man called out, raising the knife, “May you be pleased with this offering, and in exchange bless our work. May we be more prosperous and rich than any others! We bow down to you!”

With his final words, he sliced the knife into your chest, so fast and swift that you didn’t feel it at first. It was as subtle as a breeze rushing past your cheek or hearing a whisper in the hallway. Small as it was though, you couldn’t deny that it was there. Within a split second, as he ripped the knife out, you felt some of that pain materializing. A muffled scream is silenced, and you feel the cloth sink deeper into your throat, choking you. Even if your mouth can not let out a sound, the surrounding flesh is painful enough that it feels like it is screaming in silent agony.

He continues to stab at you. The pain worsens as he tries to push the knife deep into your heart, but manages to instead stab into your ribs multiple times. Each removal of the knife releases a fountain of blood. Warm, fast, sleek streams bathe your skin and clothes as he drives the knife through you over and over again, without mercy. Penetrating, forceful, as if you were being violated in the worst possible way. The physical pain of the experience is nothing compared to the mental anguish of helplessness and terror you feel.

Finally, mercifully a few cuts sink between you ribs and pierce your heart. Within minutes, your world begins fading to black.

This is it. Finally.

At least that was what you hoped. No more pain, only peace.

---

Hell was real.

You hadn’t died, but you didn’t need to for you to experience a pure torment worse than death. Some twisted miracle, curse, whatever the hell it was, had saved you. You awoke who knows how long after the attack, alone and still strapped to the stone altar. You couldn’t lift your head, it roared with pain. The pure torture of regenerating, something you hadn’t felt in years. Your body burned and itched as it restitched itself back together, slowly. The process of regeneration was in some ways more gruesome than the actual attack had been. Every inch of your chest felt like it was on fire.

The cloth was still stuck deep in your throat, making it impossible to call for help, but part of you knew that even if you could have it probably wouldn’t attract attention from anyone you would want. Your only fear was that it would remain stuck in your throat for ages. The image of it resting there until your spit somehow dissolved it and allowed for you to breathe normally haunted you, as well as the image that you might die from an infection or suffocation like this a couple of times before that happens.

Your mind was so focused on this that you didn’t notice the glowing light walking around you. Sight fuzzy, you winced as the light fully entered your focus and before you stood a man, radiating light from his crimson and white body. Wings on display, emanating from his back. No further details could be caught though, as you were in too much pain to really pay attention. Despite this though, you had no doubt who this was.

Lucifer.

You were surprised. Always, your imagination had painted the devil as a creature of darkness. Even if he wasn’t a red horned creature, you had expected a creature that radiated evil and smoke. Yet Lucifer stood before you with an almost ethereal glow about him. While there was a certain flame about him, it burned with a cool, almost glorious light.

Well, you had heard someone once say that the devil portrayed himself as a creature of light. Perhaps the brightness of his form should not surprise you. A mask of goodness over his true evil intent. He leans over you, gazing at your half-alive form.

Finally, the devil reaches over to your face, gazing at you with a look that you decide must be curiosity. There is no way that it contains the pity that your mind at first thinks it glimpses. If this is the devil that the group worshiped, then there was no way any sympathy could be found in his eyes. He lowered his hand to your face, causing you to flinch, the pain exploding at your brief movement. Instead of the expected violence though, he caresses your cheek with tenderness.

“Poor little thing. Humans are such fools,” he murmurs, “The way they treat their own is downright atrocious.”

While you would push his touch away if you could, you find it impossible. The pain is too great to bother defying him. It is nothing compared to the torture your body goes through though when he lifts you into his arms. Chipped bones feel as if they are shifting through your sliced muscle and ripped flesh. You feel more blood flowing out of your body, like the lake sand would flow between the cracks in your fingers as a child. Even though you are unable to scream, you must have at least attempted to make some kind of noise as the demon holding you makes an effort to soothe you.

“Sh… It’s all right now,” you heard, “You’re going to be just fine. There’s no need to be afraid.”

It was the last thing you heard before pain consumed your mind and took you from consciousness.

[dreamsicle262]

My personal merfolk lore

Not a fan of the tagging system, so I'm just gonna say some things here. There's not really much violence graphically described in this post, but there are mentions of humans eating merfolk or otherwise preparing and using them as a food source, as well as putting them into aquariums for entertainment or keeping them as pets and likely not treating them well. I'm pretty sure that would be the only part of this that might make some readers uncomfortable, so stay safe, and enjoy.

———

Merfolk originated from humans many decades ago when coastal societies began to gradually develop features for aquatic living. This occurred faster on island countries⎯especially those that were small⎯and also societies living near the ocean. To some extent, this also occurred in people living near other bodies of water, like lakes or rivers, but it took more time for merfolk to evolve for living in freshwater. Over the passage of time, merfolk became their own genetically diverse and entirely separate species, and therefore lost the ability to be able to successfully procreate with humans, not that any of them wanted to anyways. More on the relationship between humans and merfolk later.

As for physical descriptions of these creatures, it largely depends on what fish they are based off of. Size wise, they are on average slightly larger than the average human, and that also applies to weight, since their tails are considerably heavy and can be used to swat things away or even sink ships if necessary. They do grow hair, are endotherms (or, in simpler terms, warm-blooded), and actually do produce milk for their young, so they are mammals. Generally, they have fins on the sides of their head they can move to express themselves, inner ears like most aquatic life, and sharper teeth than humans. Their skin is composed much like human skin, and gradually becomes more scaly the closer you get to their lower half where their tail is, which normally starts at the waist. Merfolk tails cannot move the exact way that human legs can, as their bones are different, so they can’t bend them at a ninety degree angle; if this is the case, then their tail is most likely just broken and they are in considerable pain. They have gills on the sides of their neck, and fins along their spine, sides, and tail. They also have fins on their forearms, starting from their elbow and almost reaching their wrist, and webbed hands for swimming. Notably, instead of having normal fingernails, they have claws on the ends of their fingers.

Biologically male merfolk tend to have a sheath where their reproductive organs are, and have all of it situated internally. It is covered by a patch of loose scales that can be moved to reveal an opening. They have retractor muscles. This is all I'm saying on this matter. Think dog anatomy, sort of. Biologically female merfolk just have something similar, just without the exact parts biologically male merfolk have, obviously. Merfolk can also spontaneously transition if they wish to. Nature does it all the time, so why not have them do it under the right conditions? It requires some effort though, and this is put in place to prevent unwanted transitions (although they could easily transition back with those same conditions, so it's not that big of a deal).

Internally, they do have lungs, although those are hardly ever used in favor of breathing through gills. However, if a merperson breaches the water to look above it, then they can switch to using their lungs briefly. They usually avoid going above the waves or out of water at all, due to the dangers associated with it. If a merperson is out of water and on land for too long, their skin and scales dry out and it becomes painful to try and drag themselves around since it starts peeling away with their movements. It also becomes painful to breathe, as even though they don’t necessarily use their gills above water, they still flex from time to time, and dry gills hurt when they move. Most beached merfolk can, with some difficulty, drag themselves back into the ocean, but not all of them are lucky. Many common deaths on land include blood loss due to their skin/scales peeling off, starvation, or dehydration, but in the case that they are found by humans, a much worse fate awaits them.

Merfolk have specialized vocal cords that allow them to be able to produce sounds that serve as echolocation for them, and can allow them to travel through dimly lit areas, as well as communicate with each other. Since other sounds don’t pass through water as fast and voices are muffled, merfolk tend to not speak any known human dialect, and instead have their own tongue. It is possible for them to speak this out of water as well, although any human bystanders will likely not be able to understand what they are saying. It also may sound unpleasant, since it largely sounds like gurgling (ex: oOoOOoo). Their eyes are also special in the sense that they have slit pupils, allowing more light to enter them. Another fun fact about merfolk is that their skeletal structure in their hips has vestigial ball socket joints left over from when they evolved from humans, and their coccyx (aka their tailbone) is actually what evolved into a fish tail over time.

There are two distinct types of merfolk: those who give live birth to their offspring, and those that lay eggs and protect their young contained within those membranes. The former is made up of the more older breeds of merfolk that evolved long before their more modern counterparts did, whereas the latter consists of the newer breeds of merfolk. These two types are not separate species, and can reproduce together, but the method that the offspring are brought into the world is dependent on the individual merperson who is bearing the offspring. For example, if they were a dolphin merperson, they would give live birth, but if they were a salmon merperson, they would lay eggs.

Merfolk reproduction is strikingly similar to humans in the sense that a pregnancy lasts roughly nine months and commonly involves one embryo, but it is different in the sense that the produced offspring is immediately able to swim upon being born. The child is generally more capable of reacting to danger and much more independent than a human child is, but still does require some support from their parents in order to survive. The average lifespan of a merperson is only about in their mid to late fifties or so, making it about twenty years shorter than the average lifespan of a human. Still, merfolk reach sexual maturity in their adolescent years, and are not generally expected to find a partner to procreate with too quickly. Merfolk that lay eggs differ in the child bearing process based on method alone, but otherwise end up with offspring that are just as capable as those that were given birth to. The eggs get fertilized before being laid though, as opposed to being laid first and then getting fertilized later. (<- I’m sure that everyone who makes an oc off of all this lore will definitely be responsible when incorporating this little tidbit. /sarc)

The kind of society that the merfolk live in depends heavily on their method of child bearing, considering how dangerous the ocean is. An average merfolk clutch can be anywhere from one to five eggs, and these eggs look similar to normal fish spawn, but much larger. A good size estimate would be volleyball at its earliest stage of growth, and a basketball near the time of hatching. Egg laying merfolk commonly travel in pods/schools (the term can be used interchangeably) and are generally distrustful of outsiders, preferring to keep moving instead of stopping for long periods of time. However, they will occasionally stop in estuaries or shallow waters to rest, if only for a little while. Estuaries are popular as places for species of aquatic life to rear their young, and merfolk in general are no different in this sense, since most do make trips to these places at some point in their lifetime.

Mothers with eggs or young children (referred to affectionately as guppies), injured merfolk, as well as the pod’s elderly, will remain in the innermost portion of the pod, whereas any able-bodied merfolk will remain on the outside. Most roles can be filled by both sexes; there’s very little, if any, discrimination on who is suited for what role. These pods can be composed of members from the same family group, or stragglers who have lost their previous pod. Generally, only egg-laying merfolk travel in the schools, and it is uncommon to see a merperson who is capable of giving live birth among their ranks.

Merfolk who give live birth are usually capable of settling down and forming underwater cities, and therefore have more structured societies than the nomadic lifestyle of egg-laying merfolk. Cities are composed of a fine mix of egg-laying merfolk, and merfolk who give live birth, since oftentimes egg-laying merfolk see these cities as safe havens for them. Most merfolk do prefer shallow to semi-deep waters, as the open ocean is largely inhospitable to them and most sea life. Despite being called a city, these societies are usually not very large, and few and far inbetween. They are usually situated nearby coral reefs, although cities in the Abyss are not unheard of. Abyssal merfolk have largely been cast away from contemporary merfolk society due to the civil war between them and ‘Surface’ merfolk, or those who are closer to the surface of the water. Once again, more on that later.

Merfolk will live in underwater caves that are either natural or made by themselves via burrowing. They will also scavenge resources from shipwrecks for many things for a variety of uses, and even live in shipwrecks themselves at times. Coral reefs are teeming with life and are magnificent hunting grounds, as well as optimal for egg laying or giving birth, depending on the type of merperson. Merfolk also live in every kind of water: from saltwater, to brackish, to freshwater. Very few live in frigid waters, but the species has seen some migration towards those areas, along with suitable evolutionary traits for them to survive in such conditions. Orca merpeople are among the different merfolk breeds that can be found in arctic regions. Similarly, there are very few merfolk residing in the deep sea due to the high water pressure and oppressive darkness that can be found there, but some have made survival down in the depths work out.

Merfolk diets can range anywhere from typical seafood (fish, crustaceans, mollusks, aquatic mammals, etc.) to aquatic plant life (seaweed, kelp, seagrass, etc.). Some merfolk, like leech merfolk, latch onto other creatures by biting them and drinking their blood, and these merfolk do act like vampires, so they may bite other merpeople as well. Due to the nature of their lifestyles, merfolk populations would likely not be able to support filter feeders, so they unfortunately do not exist. Merfolk based on filter feeders in their body structures usually eat fish and plants much like other merfolk do. Similarly to humans, merfolk are omnivores, and benefit from a well balanced diet, although some have more carnivorous dietary needs than others. Merfolk are also opportunistic, and will feed on dead whales and other corpses when available. Humans are not exempt from this, whereas other merfolk are. Cannibalism is exceedingly rare except for in the most dire situations, and is usually a desperate last resort. Typically, merfolk bury their dead as best as they can, and leave a marker there, similar to how humans do so.

Despite living in the ocean, merfolk do have a well defined culture. Elders are greatly respected in merfolk society for living so long, and most traditions and tales are passed down generations orally or through writing (or carving things in this case since they can’t have paper). Stories are either etched into their cave walls in the merfolk written language that consists of runes, stone tablets, bits of driftwood or debris from sunken ships, or bones. Some even use clay tablets if they are fortunate enough to be in an area to leave those out to bake in the sun. Oftentimes, it takes many rounds of baking and packing more clay onto the tablet to make them layered, and therefore sturdy enough to withstand being underwater. Written words that have started to erode away will be carved into what they were on again to ensure that it is still legible.

Merfolk use sand dollars as currency, and merfolk businesses will frequently have small enclosures where they keep these sand dollars. They will occasionally let customers stick a webbed hand in to gently pet them, although sometimes these small animals need reasonable breaks from affection. Sand dollars also have the added benefit of being cute, thereby attracting more business. During feeding time, they will let these small creatures free roam and eat things off the floor, or move on their sides to filter the water around them out. Other times, they feed them by sprinkling tiny bits of fish or plant life into the enclosure. The larger a sand dollar is, the more it’s worth. Differently colored sand dollars also have different values as well. Sand dollar skeletons are the least valued form of a sand dollar in terms of it being used as currency to pay for something. Sand dollars are also useful to prepare for danger, since if they happen to detect something off in the water, they will burrow under the sand and serve as a visual cue that the merfolk in the area need to be on high alert. Outside of using sand dollars as currency, merfolk also frequently barter or trade for goods, meaning that their society isn’t totally based on the economy. Sand dollar populations also benefit from having merfolk protection, so this lessens their chances to become endangered or extinct. When one dies, it receives a proper burial just like a beloved pet might.

Merfolk are capable of making weapons like spears or daggers by taking shed shark teeth, sharpened bones, sharp seashells, or stone carved into spearheads or blades and tying it securely to a stick. Sometimes, this stick is also carved with markings to differentiate it as a weapon instead of a mere blade on a stick. Abyss merfolk have access to deep sea hydrothermal vents, and can actually become blacksmiths involved in metallurgy. How they use raw metal ores in their weaponry is simple. They have coverings or gloves for their hands and arms from the fat of other animals, and they hold the metal over the hot vent until it becomes malleable for them to shape themselves. Due to their unconventional method of running a smithy despite having no access to fire, Abyss merfolk are also capable of making armor, as well as other metal things, whereas Surface merfolk primarily rely on the bones or scales of other creatures being shaped, carved, and put together in a way that serves as armor. Scale armor is set up similarly to chainmail, in a sense. Bones are used in it to give it shape and form, so it’s a framework for the armor to allow it to be worn.

Merfolk are not strictly religious, but have a sense of religious reverence for the ocean, as well as the moon due to its association with the changing of the tides. Some merfolk also take up human religions sometimes. Nature is a heavily respected subject in merfolk society, since they depend on it to survive so much, making it worthy of praise in their eyes. Merfolk sometimes breach the surface of the water at night to sing due to its cultural importance of talking to the moon, not to attract humans to eat (although if any of them do come along, the merperson would be a fool not to kill and eat what is basically a free meal).

Much like humans, merfolk enjoy gifts. Different gifts have different meanings to them, however. Sand dollars, and pretty rocks and seashells are great gifts. Gifts of half-eaten fish or outright fish bones are a sign of either anger, hatred, distrust, or an implied death threat. Dead fish gifts themselves aren’t seen as bad, as long as they haven’t been tampered with in any way (being prepared and put together in a dish is an exception; merfolk would absolutely love to be given a full course meal) Any other gifts would probably be neutral.

Pearls as gifts are especially precious, but are only used in a few contexts, and the meaning varies based on how they are presented to the merperson receiving the gift. Naturally occurring pearls not formed inside a mollusk are the most valued pearls, whereas pearls that are produced by mollusks are still exceedingly rare, but only a little less valuable. Various colors are appreciated as well (yes they can kinda have different colors). The bigger the pearl, the more valuable it is, as well as the feelings that it’s supposed to convey.

Pearls are gifted to merfolk by others of their kind, and are usually shared to show romantic attraction with the recipient, but can also be gifted platonically as well. Usually, smaller pearls are for more platonic matters, but a big pearl can be gifted as well, alongside a clarification that it is intended as nothing romantic in nature. In courtship, when a merperson finds a pearl, they present it to whoever they wish to impress, and then the other person is presented with a decision. If they keep it, it means that they didn’t reject their gifter’s feelings, but if it is discarded or destroyed, then they have most certainly rejected them. This first pearl is like asking someone to date in human terms. A second pearl will be given at a later date to ask for engagement, and if their partner reciprocates it with a pearl of their own at some point, then the couple will be considered engaged.

The third pearl is considered the most important, as it requires two components: the pearl, and a mollusk. Once the pearl has been acquired, it is placed inside a clam or oyster. The merperson then approaches their engagement partner, and opens it in a fashion that is not unlike proposing in humans, but without the ‘bending the knee and getting on the ground’ fiasco.

Abyss merfolk and Surface merfolk had a major falling out a long time ago over which part of the ocean was safer: the deep sea, or everywhere else. This argument grew into a war that led to a substantial loss of life on both sides, and lasted five whole years. Eventually, after human activity ramped up in areas where merfolk lived, the two groups were forced to reach a compromise and form a treaty, lest their numbers dwindle even more. Merfolk were already probably endangered by that point, anyways. The two groups still have tensions towards each other, but respect the treaty and don’t attack. Abyss merfolk are perfectly able to swim up if they wish, but mostly keep to themselves in the deep sea cities and rarely contact the Surface merfolk. They sort of have an isolationist policy, but will still regulate trade between Surface merfolk groups.

Merfolk relations with humans are terrible. Humans will regularly fish in waters with large nets that capture both merfolk and the fish they eat, leading to population issues. Furthermore, they do not release these merfolk, and are perfectly fine with taking them to the mainland in order to cut them up in fish markets and such. Merfolk meat is considered a fine delicacy, and is extremely pricey since they’re rare catches usually. Merfolk are priced by age, with younger merfolk being less expensive, and older merfolk costing more. Younger merfolk are more commonly caught, while older merfolk are not. Merfolk eggs have also been in danger when it concerns humans, as they can be collected and used as caviar in dishes. Similarly, this can also be pricey. Beached merfolk found by humans will usually be either slaughtered for food purposes or research, or be forcibly put into aquariums for visitors to gawk at.

Merfolk in aquariums are often forced to perform, and aren’t treated well by the human staff members. Merfolk that become visibly depressed or try to kill themselves by ramming into the side of their glass enclosure are usually harshly punished for not being eye catching to the visitors. Other times, they are put into lab settings where they are forced to produce more merfolk for study, or as a cruel way of humans attempting to effectively farm merfolk meat. To prevent themselves from self harming or willingly clawing themselves to death, merfolk are commonly declawed. Their teeth may be sanded down in some way to make them less sharp and less dangerous as well. Some people also opt to keep merfolk as exotic pets.

In the case they are caught and killed, merfolk are subject to being prepared by humans. This involves slicing them in half at where their tail begins, decapitating them, and then proceeding to debone them and take out any non edible bits (like some organs) Essentially, they are field dressed. Both halves of the merperson are prepared separately, and will be used. It is not uncommon to see these brutal displays in fish markets.

Merfolk take great care to avoid humans at all costs, but are capable of defending themselves if need be. They will also swarm any form of boat if it gets too close to a merfolk city or hunting grounds, drowning the crew and making holes in the hull of the vessel. Once again, being opportunistic, they will not waste any dead humans that they manage to kill.

There are many misconceptions of merfolk being able to draw humans in with their voices. This is not fully true. The combination of human curiosity and stupidity is what draws them in after they’ve heard beautiful singing and see gleaming scales off in the distance, but there’s no especially strong urge that causes them to seek out merfolk. Merfolk do not generally have magic, but they do have unique skills that vary based on the kind of merperson. Merfolk are capable of screeching loud enough to damage a human's eardrums, however. This is likely where the siren misconception originates from as well.

Merfolk can also be subject to some human diseases, as well as some diseases that affect fish. This can also apply to some parasites. Furthermore, the Great Pacific trash pile is like the slums to their kind.

———

That should be all. If there are any questions, feel free to ask.

[shares-a-vest]

(ready for some easter/spring-themed nonsense from me this week???)

“Steve!”

Steve merely hums, nosing further into Eddie’s neck.

Eddie taps him on the shoulder whispering, “Oh my god, Steve.”

Steve growls, clearly misinterpreting his tone and tightens his grip on Eddie's hips.

Like yeah, he’s making out with Steve in the middle of the woods out the back of the Harringtons’ house in Loch Nora. They’re on a comfy huge blanket, Eddie straddling Steve’s lap and having a grand old time after a delicious picnic lunch Steve had put together.

But there’s something more pressing at hand.

Eddie rolls his eyes, slides one hand up Steve’s chest (earning a hip thrust) and pushes himself back.

Steve whines, detaching himself from Eddie’s neck with a childish humf.

“Whaaaat!”

The poor thing looks flustered, his right cheek pinking up, hair all tousled, shirt collar askew with a reddening mark Eddie had been working on before he got distracted.

Eddie pinches Steve's cheeks with one hand, creating pouty fish lips as he slowly turns his boyfriend's head in the direction of what has him suddenly uninterested in a make-out session.

A white rabbit hopping about, picking at grass about three feet away.

“Oh, no... Eddie!” Even though he is mumbling through squished-up cheeks, Steve is obviously more than a little annoyed.

“But it’s a rabbit!” Eddie stage-whispers, not tearing his eyes away from the fluffy furball.

At a glacial pace, he frees Steve from his grip, carefully lifting off him with minimum movement. Steve whines again, loud and it spooks the creature enough for it to take a giant leap in the opposite direction before continuing to sniff about.

Eddie pivots on his knees and makes grabby hands at their picnic basket.

“Gimmie those stupid celery sticks,” he commands in a whisper.

“No!” Steve also whispers, crossing his arms.

“Yes!” he insists. “Besides, why would you pack such a noxious weed for me to eat?”

Steve lightly shoves him, picks up the basket and drops it down in front of Eddie with a loud enough thud he whips around to look at the rabbit. Thankfully, it hasn't moved.

Eddie begins crawling towards the rabbit, celery sticks clenched in his hands as Steve huffs and flops back on the plaid blanket, his hair flying forward as he goes down. Eddie moves along, gradually settling down to an army crawl as he ventures closer and holds out a lone stick of celery.

“Come here, little guy,” he coos, wiggling the treat.

The rabbit turns, hops towards him and starts sniffing at the celery. When the creature sticks its head forward for the food, Eddie reaches out a tentative hand for a gentle pat. The rabbit allows it, concentrating on devouring the celery. The distraction emboldens Eddie to sit now, waving a hand back around to give Steve a thumbs up.

Once it’s done eating, the rabbit nuzzles at Eddie’s knee as he continues stroking its back. Ever so gracefully, he loops a hand under the thing to scoop it up. The rabbit goes willingly and Eddie turns back to the picnic, beaming as he scratches behind furry ears.

“Ew, no!” Steve whisper-scoffs, shooting upright. “Don’t pick it up!”

“Oh come on, Stevie. He’s so cute!”

He begins walking back to the blanket when Steve waves his hands in protest.

“Don’t you come back onto this blanket, Eds!," Steve warns, still inexplicably choosing to whisper as he raises a flat palm to stop him. “You’re covered in dirt!”

Eddie eases down, sprinkling dirt (ranging from smaller granules to clumps) from his clothes all over the blanket. Steve whines and begins brushing at the mess, only managing to now smear it on the picnic blanket.

Oh well, one less piece of plaid-something for the Harrington household...

[timeoveritasconsumofigmentum]

Yandere Fisherman x F!Mermaid Reader

Warnings: Obsessive behaviors, Stalking, Kidnapping, Implied murder(?)

A/n: I tried to use actual boat terminology idk if it’s right lmao, but enjoy ♡ (not proofread)

⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.

Mermaid!reader that loves to hang out with her marine friends during the bright afternoons. Exploring underwater caves, collecting the prettiest shells, telling spooky stories in sunken ships. Life was beautiful under the sea.

Mermaid!reader who was dared by Kai the stingray to go one of the many forbidden zones (the one infested with humans.) Despite her fear and uncertainty, she couldn't let that flat face call her a guppie!

Mermaid!reader who encounters dozens of dinghies once in the sunlight zone. Consumed with curiosity, she swam closer to the strange shiny devices hanging from the small ships. Yes the ocean floor collected the ships and it's artifacts, but she had never seen such a device.

Mermaid!reader who felt nothing but awe at the plastic fish that they(the fisherman) threw into the sea from their barnacle covered boats, fascinated by their unusual bright colours and shapes. Giggles at the confusion of her friends, their gurgles of excitement sending waves of bubbles along the currents.

Mermaid!reader who starts investigating with her marine friends but finds out the hard way what the plastic is truly meant to do and it breaks her heart. Dozens of her friends gone in a blink of an eyes, yanked into the unknown world. Mourns for the loss of her friends blaming herself for the lack of awareness, makes herself a promise that no other innocent being would be taken.

Mermaid!reader who helps fishes avoid the sharp hooks, warning all that wander too close that they could be snatched up and never seen again. Swears on Poseidon that no more of her friends will be stolen.

Mermaid!reader who actively tracks ships and fishing patterns. Herding the small guppies and airhead fishes away from the coast, sure they understood warnings but that didn't stop their curiosity or lack of awareness.

Mermaid!reader starts using her sharp iridescent shell to cut the fishing lines and collect the plastic bait, the humans obviously aren't using them so what's the harm in collecting them? Besides it would stop her friends from being caught up by the glittering they produced.

⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.

Yandere!fisherman frustrated from the sacristy of fish coming in. His profit and family business plummeting to the ground from lack of customers.

Yandere!fisherman swore he would get to the bottom of this. His grandmother didn't break every bone in her body for this business to die a sudden death!

Yandere!fisherman who now, never leaves his modest boat, camouflaging himself to stalk the waters every hour of the day. Waits for days with no activity, his sour mood getting even fouler. "If there's nothing there, then where all the bloody fish?!"

Yandere!fisherman who spots a large fin lift out from the water one early morning, a quiet splash following. Snatching his binoculars off the stern pulpit he spotted a human like figure bobbing around the water, clicks his tongue in frustration about to look away when splash! A pearlescent tail jerks out of the water, his eyes traveled along the long fin only to find it connect to the figure he saw previously. Wide eyes stare at the strange creature entranced.

Yandere!fisherman shellshocked from the discovery, sure his grandmother told his stories about how merpeople lived in these water but he just thought it was a bad eyesight and manatees! To think she was right. Wonder soon turned into animosity, so this was the creature causing a shortage of food?

Yandere!fisherman who starts tracking the mermaids every move, determined to capture it. Thinks of the amount of money he would make by selling the exotic legend. He could see it now, towers of gold stacked to the clouds, a large home fit for a king, no longer having to break his back to scrape together enough money to pay his bills, his very being bathed in riches. Oh yes, he would have the sea beast . Dead or alive.

Yandere!fisherman after weeks of planning, decides it's time to capture the beast. Makes a custom bottom trawl, out of clear wire, adjusting it enough to fit the mutant, takes extra care to make it sturdy. As any good fisherman would do, he starts to track her movements.

Yandere!fisherman who writes in detail the spots she would mostly visit(the abandoned boats near the colorful reef seemed to be her favorite?), what distance she was most comfortable in(half a mile away from the dock but continuously inching closer) what time she preferred to come (right as the sun peeked out from the horizon.)

Yandere!fisherman finds out that the mermaid had been stealing the bait deliberately, his callous hands wrap around his booklet in fury wringing the innocent leather, another thing he had to worry about thanks to it.

Yandere!fisherman finally gets a glimpse of the creatures face. Is stunned stupid to see such beautiful features, every detail in her face seemed as they were sculpted by hand with utmost care. The blue hue of the water did little to obscure her beauty, feels something in his chest tighten but brushes it off.

Yandere!fisherman dreams now invaded by the unknown woman. Her opal like scales that seemed softer than cotton, the halo of hair that followed her whenever she moved, bright eyes filled with childlike wonder. Soft supple lips lifted into a small smile. The feeling in his chest returns.

Yandere!fisherman commences his plan at night, gently tossing the net into the water far away from his boat. Lies in wait, white knuckling the thick rope connected to the net ready to pull at any moments notice. Sees the beautiful beast nearing his trap, grits teeth "come on.." he jerks the net snatching the side of her body, her right arm and fin tangled in the thick plastic. Bubbles flurry to the surface panicked splashing accompanying it.

Yandere!fisherman who yanks the net forward creating small waves, the veins in his arms bulging from the amount of force takes large steps back bringing her closer. Has her a few feet away from boat when SNAP the net collapses into itself, her body freeing with every thrash. Let's out a scream of frustration watching the mermaid flee the scene quickly.

⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.

Mermaid!reader swimming back home in pure shock clutching her iridescent shell, unable to filter in the million of questions her friends asked her.

Mermaid!reader who thinks of all the fables and stories of humans snatching merpeople were true, she knew that much, but never did she think she would be one of the missing. She had been so careful, not following the same path or reappearing in the same spot.

Mermaid!reader stays cocooned in her shell like home for days, the soft hues of pink and yellow calming her soul. Small treasures displayed on weaved seaweed shelves warmed her heart, creating a bubble of peace in her rampant mind. The human objects she collected overtime glared at her, an uneasy feeling urged herself to stuff the objects deep in sand. To forget about them and everything about the surface. To forget about the existence of humans.

Mermaid!reader traces the angry marks that indented her tail, curling further on her kelp bed. Regrets taking the dare that made her get so close to the land. She could have been blissfully blind if she just stayed with the cities limits, unburdened with the knowledge of what the coast held. Shivering at the daunting feeling, she imagined what awaited her the moment she broke through the surface.

Mermaid!reader who wants to stay rooted right where she was but the other part who knew the truth, she knew she would have to go back and help her friends. But to go back was a death wish there was no telling that luck would be on her side once more, memories of her stolen friends flashed through her mind.

Mermaid!reader with her mind set, decides to go back. Asks around her city hoping to find out more about humans only to hit dead end after dead end. Deflated, swims to the coral library wanting at least to brush up on the human tales that once scared her when she was guppie.

Mermaid!reader who draws a map of sector starfish. Noting where she was almost taken, she tries to remember where her fish friends would go. They weren’t the brightest bunch so she knew they would be scattered through out the water. Despite the numerous problem she was faced with, she pushes forward.

Mermaid!reader who stays at the edge of the sunlight zone, worry seeps in her veins her tail thrashing in agitating. “It’s not a big deal..I’m just going back to the place where I was almost taken, it’s fine. It’s fine, I’m fine..”. She took a deep breath before releasing, groups bubbles tumbled from her mouth caressing her features. A soothing warmness settles in her chest at the feeling as she tried to the keep up with the uncoherent thoughts she had.

Mermaid!reader cautious of every little thing, swimming as slow as possible. Decides to split the area into smaller sectors, one sector a day. That'll keep her safe. Hopefully. Days slowly crawl by, her wavered confidence stayed stagnant riddled with the anxiety of ‘what if’s?’

Mermaid!reader shakes her head disappointed at the fish who swim merrily around the few hooks in sector starfish. ‘All those warnings floated away from them’ she thought glumly. Sees Kai the stingray stuck in a large net, doesn't hesitate to swim forward sharp shell in hand pushing away her dread.

Mermaid!reader determination set in her features she prepared herself to slash haphazardly trying to free her friend as quickly as possible. Let's out a scream of terror dropping her weapon, realizing her friend was already dead and gutted.

Mermaid!reader distracted by the horrifying scene set in front of her, she barely felt another net underneath the sand lift upwards speedily creating a cage around her.

⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.

Yandere!fisherman who is quite glum from the lack of appearance of his prize-bag of money. Rereads his booklet, noting she would appear most when the tides were rising. The perfect time when fish would trickle in like children at a sweets shop. Reinforces a seine net and buries it in the sand underneath his ship, is about to rise from the water when he spots stray stingray swimming away from his curious eyes.

Yandere!fisherman couldn’t help but to smile.

Mermaid!reader who's dropped onto the floor the modest boat unceremoniously. Starts to beg the burly fisherman to let her go, that she only wanting to keep her friends safe "Please! I mean you no harm! How would you feel if hundreds of your friends where snatched away from home and they were never seen again? Understand me" she pleaded, voice getting hoarse from lack of water. Her limbs ached from the drop, the tight net reopening the wounds on her shimmering tail and torso.

Yandere!fisherman after weeks of watching her from the boat can't help but to tune her out. Not that her voice wasn't as sugary as he imagined, but to finally be able to drink in her foreign features. Euphoria drenched his body, this was real.

Yandere!fisherman thinks of the dreams that haunted him each night, were nothing compared to reality. Entranced by every crease, mole, and scar that covered her very being, studying her features he memorized every little detail. Dark eyes taking in the strange clothing she wore, lingering on the open wounds on her opalescent tail.

Yandere!fisherman who feels cold at the thought of someone else feasting on her beauty. He was the only one deserved to look at her, he watched for months, weeks of planning and yearning to get to this moment. He knew her. She was his. No one was worthy enough to bathe in her beauty. "Shhh, it's okay. Oh, have I got some plans for you sweetheart. But don't you worry your pretty little head about anything, I’ll take care of everything.”

[daisys-reality]

gurl🤣 @kitxxb1ch let's start with diet... it also depends on what type they are - which is related to the climate/environment the mermaid lives in. They don't eat at all like we humans do, they could hardly digest most of the things we eat (processed, oily and sugary food etc). What they eat is very natural and organic, basically what they find in their environment! They definitely eat a lot of fish. Vegetarian diets are not really durable, as they need lots of protein especially when they swim long distances. The freshwater ones sometimes go for herbivore diet but it's not soo common i think. As you might know, mermaids are good hunters (fast and flexible like dolphins) and they most often hunt in groups. Except deep sea water mermaids, all other kinds usually live in pods. But back to the diet, seaweed is always a go to snacking option, kelp, kale, and wakame are extremely healthy and full of vitamins and proteins. But also crab/lobster/shrimp meat and all the different kinds of the local fish in their environment can be eaten (obviously all in raw form). I think those in tropical regions are also used to eating fruits every now and then.

regarding the other topic... is that so necessary for u to know before u shift there?🤣 I don't really wanna talk about 😭but ...ehm i'll do it but only very briefly 💀 if ur under the age of 16 please read some other posts .. pls :|

anyways so about the reproductive organs ... for mermen the p is internal and it emerges from a slit in the front side of the tail when aroused. For the female, as mentioned in the other post as well the opening is also in the frontal slit in between the pelvic fins. It is covered by large, flexible scales that are connected to the tail. This prevents water from flowing inside and causing infection. These flexible scales can be moved out of the way during the deed, and the p can be inserted there. The womb is located pretty much in the same place as for humans. Pls don't ask me for more info🤠

[greetingfromthedead]

11. Jaws

Series: Mermaid!AU Depth of Despair

Pairing: Vash x GN!Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Author's Note: I am happy to announce that Depth of Despair is back to weekly uploads for chapters 11 - 15! I apologize for the long break, but with life being busy and my mental health being what it is, I am incapable of juggling two ongoing series (Apple Blossoms being the other) at the same time and since I really don't want to drop either of them, I have settled on writing 5 chapters of one of them and then switching to the other + break weeks between as necessary. It's not ideal, but I hope yall will put up with me ❤ If there are questions, I am more than happy to answer! ❤

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The voices of the merpeople tangle themselves into the minds of the seamen while they chant commands in a cacophony of haunting melodies. Guns drop to the slippery wooden deck as the sailors become entranced by the mesmerizing sounds. One can barely hear the scratching of nails against wood as the predators claw their way on board. That is until everything falls silent as a grave.

Out of nowhere, a massive black shadow appears under the water's surface. It circles the fishing boat, occasionally coming up enough to breach the still surface with its spines that protrude out from its back. The sirens grin a sharp toothed smile as they watch their meal shiver in fear. The men on the boat are unsure of what to do, their own voices quieting down now that there is nothing to drown out. Vash hears his heartbeat in his ears, blood rushing through his veins as he waits for the attack.

A giant black serpent's tail suddenly slams over the side of the boat, crushing a railing that splinters into pieces. The wet scales glisten, reminding Vash of a dark moonless night. The fishing boat rocks from the impact, a few sirens falling back into the water. The boat starts to keel the other way, a few of Vash's men losing their footing as they all turn just in time to see a black haired man pull themselves over the edge, his body transforming from being covered by massive scales to a human form. He slithers up to the front of the deck, keeping himself upright with the help of a massive trident. He looks imposing where he stands, but his face isn't filled with malice or anger. Vash thinks he might even see something resembling a smile.

"Blondie, it's you again," the serpent speaks, almost playfully.

"Nicholas, wasn't it?" Vash replies, remembering the day you snatched him from his own pier to save him from the man who now seems to toy with the lives of all his men.

"Indeed. And you aren't even drawn to me," he smiles more obviously. "Unlike your crew."

Vash hears more clanks and thuds as his men drop their weapons, their eyes solely focused on the frightening merman in front of them.

"Let them go," Vash commands.

"Why would I let a meal go just like that? Haven't you slipped from my grasp enough times by now?" The merman's voice is cold and menacing, but Vash hears something more in it—a playful note that doesn't seem to belong there. "Why don't we make a bet?"

"You want me to play with the lives of my men?" Vash is in shock, but none of the people around him seem to understand what the conversation is about; they look enamored, captured by the voice of the creature from the deep.

"Didn't you come here for a reason?" Nicholas asks, his gaze sharp as a blade.

Vash's eyes widen in surprise. He shouldn't be shocked that the man before him knows all about your situation, but for some reason he is anyway. It fills his chest with anger and fear. Without even intending to, he takes a long step forward, his hand reaching for the sword on his hip.

"Now now, hear me out first," Nicholas scolds him. "How about we play a game? Do what you came here to do; succeed, and I will allow you, your crew, and… your loot to get out of here alive. Fail, and you will all become fish food."

To emphasize his point, Nicholas flexes the muscles along his long tail that has coiled around the boat, making the planks complain via small cracks and squeaks.

"Why do you do this?" Vash asks, mistrustful of the siren.

"It gets so boring living in hiding all the time. I don't often get the opportunity to play with my food." Nicholas licks his lips. "But don't get me wrong. You are food. You will not succeed. Without your little guardian angel, you will not escape my jaws a third time."

"What are the rules of your game?" Vash asks, forcing himself to be calm in the face of death.

"I grant you your crew, as much as their scrambled brains will allow, and you will get to show me what you're capable of. To give you just a touch of a fighting chance and to make things more entertaining for myself, I will stand down, and so will everyone else who is here. But if you come across any others, they are free to rip your flesh from your bones. Sounds good?"

Vash walks closer, up the stairs to the landing where the siren perches. He stretches out his gloved hand to accept the only line of hope he has to save everyone.

"Alright, I will take those odds," Vash says with as much confidence he can muster up. Failure is not an option.

Nicholas takes Vash's hand, sealing the bet with a firm handshake and a crooked smile on his lips. "I'll be rooting for you, Blondie."

Vash's head swims with everything he just heard. The remarks and comments alluding to facts he did not know. His heart still pounds loudly in his chest as he turns away from the impressive siren to look over his ship and men. He doesn't have time to dwell on anything he just heard. All he is focused on now is to save you, whatever it takes.

The ship rocks as Nicholas slides back into the calm waters. One by one, the other merpeople follow his lead, diving back into their environment. Vash sees numerous shadows lurking beneath the surface, waiting for him to fail. He doesn't quite understand why he was presented with an opportunity to save everybody, but he has nothing to lose. If Nicholas lied, everyone will die. If he fails, everyone will die. So he has one goal and one goal only as he watches his men snap back to reality, getting hold of their own minds and bodies again. Their hands shake in fear, and their eyes are wide with terror as they look around, realizing that they did not dream this.

Vash takes a deep breath, steadying himself before starting to dish out commands and instructions to his disheveled men.

The sun shines through the tree branches, caressing the back of your neck and your cheek as you sit on the edge of the pier. The water laps gently at the wooden planks below you, the sound a soothing rhythm against the backdrop of birdsong. A playful gust of wind ruffles through the linen material of the puffy sleeves of your shirt while you close your eyes and take in the peaceful moment. Your heart leaps with joy as you feel at home.

The rustling of grass alerts you to Vash's presence as he struts down the bank of the river until his footsteps echo hollowly on the wooden dock. You don't turn to look at him, choosing to keep your eyes closed until you feel his warm embrace envelop you. Lazily, you lean your head back to nestle between his shoulder and his neck, causing the flower crown he placed on your head earlier to nearly slip off, catching it just in time before it falls.

"Careful," Vash says with an amused tone, pulling away from you just enough to place a kiss on your cheek before sitting down from his squatted position without letting go of you.

"I am! I would never want to lose it!" You speak with a smile, turning your head to see the soft expression on his handsome face. He leans in, touching the side of his head against your temple, making you face forward again as his hug tightens around you.

His long legs spread out to either side of you, framing you in a protective embrace. You look at your own legs, the pants rolled up to your knees to avoid getting them wet. You lift your feet out from the river, water droplets on your skin catching the sun. Vash settles in, resting his chin on your shoulder as he keeps his head against yours, his contempt sigh tickling your skin. You flex your feet and toes, feeling a cool breeze against your ankles.

"I watered the roses. Just a few more days until they burst into bloom," he murmurs against your skin as he presses his nose more into the suppleness of your cheek.

He keeps his left arm around you, the right one untangling itself from your body to gently run along the length of your arm, his fingers tracing along your elbow and down to your fingertips until he cups your hand in his before lacing his fingers with yours.

"What a beautiful day," you sigh with happiness as you both bask in the warmth of the sun and the joy of each other's company.

The smile lingers on your lips even as the brilliant sunshine gets duller, a veil of clouds obscuring its rays. Even as the crisp air gets murky and dull like mist, it doesn't dampen the joy in your heart. Even as wisps of blood appear, bright red, in front of you before disappearing, Vash's upturned lips and brilliant blue eyes are all that you see.

The growling of the changelings doesn't even register in your mind as they fight each other for a place around you. Their sharp teeth leave marks on your skin as they ravage your body, drinking deep from your veins, but you are too mesmerized by the scene in your head to feel any pain. You are lost in the world of your imagination, completely detached from reality. A reality that is cruel, dark, and hopeless. You feel a sense of peace and freedom in your mind, a place where you can escape from the harshness of the world around you. The only place where you have not been tied down to become a buffet to these creatures who want nothing else but the magic in your veins. Your reality is a merciless nightmare that will never end. Draining you dry will not kill you; ripping the flesh from your bones won't do that either. You are doomed to remain in eternal suffering, but it is a fate you would choose again and again if it meant that Vash is safe.

You are glad that the last moments you spent with him, you got to see him up close. You got the chance to memorize every detail of his face, from the curve of his lips to the angles of the tiny wrinkles around his eyes that show up more when he smiles. You never want to forget a single thing about him; he is always on your mind. Even now your mind conjures him up, swimming closer with a knife between his teeth. The image is so lifelike, so true, it's like you could reach out and touch him if your muscles had a single ounce of strength in them.

Hissing and screeching erupts all around you as the changelings scramble away from a blade that slashes through the water with unnatural speed. A large shadow blocks out the dim light of the distant surface, a silhouette with a sword in their left hand. The blade glints for a moment as it slashes again, making the little changelings scatter in fear. It all feels so real, yet it cannot be true. As Vash's worried face comes to view, you want to close your eyes. It is too good to be true—an impossible scenario that you would rather not have in your head. You don't want to feed into unreasonable hope. He should never come here.

Despite your wishes, you can't look away. Vash's free hand cups your cheek to pull himself closer so he can press his lips to yours. It is hurried and brief, over before your brain can catch up. Bubbles escape his mouth as he breathes in the salty ocean water, and he looks relieved. You keep telling your fuzzy mind that none of this is real. It cannot be. But his touch feels so vivid, so tangible, that you can't help but wonder if it actually is. Hope, that is so dangerous, blooms in your chest. Your mind keeps fleeing from you no matter how hard you try to focus. Moments of almost clarity are quickly replaced by darkness as your thoughts slip away.

Through the fog of your mind and feeling like your body doesn't belong to you, somehow you still feel the binds being cut. No longer do the ropes dig into your flesh as they anchor you to the mass of rocks. Relief wants to wash over you, to knock you out cold, but still you try to convince yourself that whatever is happening, it is not as it seems. Vash couldn't have come to save you. He shouldn't have.

Your body gets dragged into a new restraint; something else locks around your waist as you get pulled away. Through the haze of your eyes, you see the faces of children as they come out from their hiding spots. Their dark eyes narrowing with anger as they hiss in frustration. It feels so real.

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[shyvioletcat]

A/N: I wrote a little something in celebration of Mermay. It’s just fun that spawned from a completely random idea. Yes, it’s another single parent au but who’s gonna stop me? Certainly not myself. Please enjoy. 

~~~~~

Aelin’s make-up brush was coated in gold as she ran it over her top eyelids. Working in water, there wasn’t much that would withstand it, but she had curated a good collection after some serious trial and error. There was also the toxins in her make-up to consider, if she killed the fish, she wouldn’t have a job. That was why she left off the glitter gel, that would go on after her water performance. This was the ever glamorous life of a mermaid. 

She had worked at the Orynth Aquarium for nearly two years. It had started as a what the hell of it job, and then had progressed into something she loved. Thanks to the support if her parents this job wasn’t make or break for her and realistically Aelin know one day she’s have to get a real job, but in the meantime it was fun while it lasted. Her last minute prep was checking if she had had her earplugs and her airways were clear and ready. The earplugs she tucked into the turquoise scale decorated bikini top she wore and she blew her nose once for good luck.  

Aelin hated to break the illusion but with the irritation in her eye today she needed to wear goggles for this performance. If she persevered through it and kept her eye exposed to the aquarium water it could potentially flare up more and then she’d have to stop work completely. And that just wasn’t fun for anybody. She had forked out a mild fortune for this particular pair. They were clear as they could possibly be, both the silicone and polycarbonate lenses. To hide it further she put a circlet over it to cover the straps wrapping around the back of her head. 

“Lys, can you?” Aelin said to her co-worker and friend. 

“Of course,” Lysandra said, helping secure the circlet onto the straps. She was a mermaid too, and would go on a little later in the day. 

It only took a few seconds and then it was done. One benefit of the goggles and circlet get up was that it would help to keep the hair out of her face while she swam. The silicone of the circlet was fashioned to look like clusters of shells, corals and pearls, all painted to match her overall mermaid colour scheme. Aelin did a quick adjustment of her goggles and the top part of her mermaid outfit, making sure everything was secure and not likely to fall off in the water.  She was as ready as she could be without her tail. 

Aelin left the dressing room that had been repurposed from small storage space for the performers. From the still lingering smell of old fish she suspected it had a prep room for the aquarium residents' food. She’d taken her turquoise coloured tail with her and sitting on the water’s edge rolled down the sides until she got to the flipper. Her feet slipped in and she hooked the strap over the back of her heel to stop them slipping out. Then she lathered herself up in hair conditioner so the tail would slide on a little easier.

It took time and a fair amount of effort, but it wasn’t too long before Aelin was entirely merma-fied. The world became muffled as the earplugs filled her ears. She swung her feet around dipping them into the water, and then eased herself all the way in. Submerging fully for the first time always felt a little odd—getting her legs to kick in sync instead of alternating strides. But after a few good kicks muscle memory took over and Aelin was swimming with ease.

Above the surface Aelin started breathing in and out, readying to hold her breath for her big entrance. She counted one, two and then three and she went under, swimming deeper into the aquarium. Fibreglass rocks jutted up from the tank floor and Aelin made for the decorative arch built, arms in front of her guiding her through the water. 

There were fish around her, nothing too bitey or sharp, for safety reasons obviously. Aelin had been diving in the shark tank before, and they weren’t vicious creatures, just sometimes curiosity got the better of them. So she was in here with the tropical variety, also making the swim just that more pleasant. If any inhabitants happened to bump into her it was a lot less distracting. 

Just as the front glass came into view Aelin lungs began to feel a little bit of strain. She decided that she would do a swim-by of the glass and then pop up for some more air. With her goggles she could see the audience clearly, on other days they would have been blurry blobs of indecipherable colours, but today she could see everything. When children noticed her swimming towards them, they rushed the glass, faces practically squished up on it. They pointed and shouted soundlessly to parents and friends. 

Aelin smiled, one hand swooping down to her side while the other waved at the crowd. There was one girl in particular that caught her eye, brown hair pulled back into two braids, face slack with shock and awe. The precious little thing’s eyes were wide as they tracked Aelin’s movements through the water. It wasn’t until Aelin was almost out of sight that she rushed forward, beckoning to someone behind her. Aelin kept swimming but made sure to give the girl a particular wave before she disappeared from sight. 

Catching her breath Aelin then dived back under. This time she swayed her hips, building up to a spin. The girl from before practically chased her across the viewing area, the skirts of her tutu swishing around her knees as she did. On the next pass Aelin slowed down so that she could interact with her audience. She waved and smiled, swished her flouncy tail at them. But she was saving the air in her lungs for a little something special. The brown-haired girl was front row, little hands on the glass as she bounced on her toes. Aelin swam right up to her, putting her own hands on the glass too. The smile she was being given was infectious and Aelin had to try and keep her lips sealed so she didn’t lose the air trapped inside. Bringing two fingers of each hand to her lips Aelin whooshed out a bubble of air and made a heart shape. Bubbles followed the movement making a clear heart that framed the girl's face. Aelin wished she had a camera to capture the pure elation and joy. 

When the bubbles faded the girl turned, Aelin saw her say something and her companion stepped out of the shadows and came into view. It was an effort not to lose the rest of her air with just how fine a specimen of the human he was. All broad shoulders, chiselled jawline and an usual hue of silver hair, he was knee weakingly handsome. The distortion through the glass did little damage to the overall effect. 

Duty called and Aelin had other viewers to entertain. She went through various routines, backflips and front flips, spins and waves, and more air kisses. A lot of people moved on but Aelin’s biggest fan hung around with her carer who now sat on the lowest step, elbows on his knees as he watched the girl have her fun. He smiled and nodded along with whatever she said. 

Aelin’s window for performing was closing and she wanted to give this girl a special experience before she wrapped it up. Gulping in some air Aelin dove back down. There the girl was, waiting on the glass, kneeling because she was probably worn out from all the games of chase. Aelin beckoned her to stand by curling her fingers to her palm. She misunderstood and waved and it wasn’t until the man said something to her that the girl stood. Aelin nodded, indicating she’d done the right thing. 

Aelin treaded water to keep herself in place and with her pointer finger she made a twirling motion, trying to convey that she was going to spin. The girl clapped before her hands raised above her head like a ballerina. When the girl said something to the man behind her Aelin followed the line of sight. Her lips tightened into a closed lip smirk as she caught him mid check out of her. In this line of work this kind of thing wasn’t unusual, and at least this guy seemed to be doing it respectfully. He was most certainly blushing when he noticed Aelin’s gaze on him and her expression. 

It took some manoeuvring and effort—this was one of the more advanced moves in her routine, but Aelin spun upwards in the water, gracefully turning in full circles, slower than the girl was twirling. She was over excited and frantic. Aelin kept going until her head broke the surface, allowing herself a smile and a few intakes of air before going back down. The girl was still spinning when Aelin saw her again and it took the man pointing out that the mermaid had returned for her to stop. The poor little thing swayed on her feet, too dizzy to see straight, making Aelin laugh out a bubble of air. She swam down again, lounging lengthways in the water to get to the girl’s eye level easier. 

The laughter had cost her and Aelin would need to swim away soon. So she waved, blowing another heart kiss to the girl’s utter delight. Aelin needed to get to the surface quickly after that so she started swimming straight up. Her new little friend insisted that the man, most likely her father now that she saw them together, wave as well. He did, and Aelin made sure to catch his eye. She winked, then blew him a kiss too, hoping he was blushing again. 

Aelin kept to the surface as she swam back to the edge of the aquarium. She was out of breath when she hauled herself onto the ledge and for a while she just lay there, smiling as she recalled the little girl. The kids and their enthusiasm was one of her favourite things about this job. It gave her a sense of fulfilment bringing a little bit of magic to their lives. This girl had really been something and her father—

“Oh. Oh, shit.” Aelin slapped a pruny fingered hand over her mouth. He’d sure as hell started it but she most definitely might have flirted with a married man. A deep breath out later and she let it go. It was harmless fun and it wasn’t likely that she would see him again. 

~~~~~

This trip to the aquarium was proving to be a hit. When Rowan had seen the promotion about the mermaids at the aquarium he’d known that he had to bring Ivy. Mermaids were her current obsession and the chance for her to see a real life mermaid was something he wasn’t going to pass up. 

Ivy had loved it, every single second. Her enthusiasm had won her the attention of the mermaid. The kisses, waving and the dancing had probably made Ivy’s year. Since the mermaid had swam away Ivy hadn’t stopped talking about it. She’d been disappointed for sure, but the magic from that moment still held sway and she was buzzing. A huge turtle swam by and Ivy followed it with her eyes, head turning and nearly knocking into the glass as she tried to look at it as long as she could. The way things were going they would be here until they were physically kicked out. 

“Ivy, should we go see the penguins?” Rowan asked. 

Ivy spun, so fast that Rowan had to steady her with a hand on her head.

“There’s penguins?”

Rowan chuckled. “Yes, there are.”

“Why are we standing here then?” Ivy told him, grabbing his hand and leading him in the entirely wrong direction. 

“This way, little love,” Rowan said, gently tugging her hand in the right direction. 

It was while they were watching the little, stubby, flightless birds waddle around when the announcement that would change Ivy’s life was made over the loudspeaker.

“Hi there, visitors,” a female voice said. “If you would like to meet one of our resident mermaids please head to Coral Cove where a meet and greet will start in five minutes. They are very excited to meet you, and we hope to see you there!”

“Daddy,” Ivy’s eyes were wide. “Did they say we can meet a mermaid?”

He nodded. “Indeed they did.”

“Can we? Please?” The four year old begged. 

Rowan already had it in his mind to say yes, but if there had been any doubt for him it would have been banished just from the look in her eyes. “Let’s go.”

It frustrated Ivy when she kept taking the wrong turns so Rowan just picked her up and carried her the rest of the way. This place was easy enough for him to navigate, not so much for a little girl who couldn’t read. They found Coral Cove in the tropical section. It was all warm lights, pastels and colourful fish. There was a line already forming and the two of them joined the end of it.

“Is it her, Daddy? The swimming one?” Ivy asked, head peering over the heads in front of them trying to see. 

“I’m not sure, love. We’ll have to wait and see,” Rowan replied.

Ivy was full of nervous energy and eventually Rowan had to put her down because she was shifting around so much. She got antsy and like a dutiful father he was, he handed her some snacks from the backpack to keep her occupied. That gave her five minutes of peace before she was at it again. Holding his hand, Ivy left the line as far as she could while still hanging on. She gasped, hurrying back to Rowan’s legs.

“Dad,” she said in a harsh and very loud whisper. “It’s her.”

“Is it?” Rowan whispered back.

Ivy nodded, such a wide smile on her face. There weren’t too many people ahead of them so it was only another ten minutes before they got to the front of the line. Like Ivy had said, the mermaid from the aquarium was the one doing the meet and greet. She was sitting on a giant pink clam shell, smiling and waving to the visitors. 

She was still wearing her gold and turquoise tail, a white starfish was stuck onto some kind of hair clip to keep her damp hair off her face. The previous kids were finishing their goodbyes so the mermaid hadn’t seen them. Rowan looked down to check on Ivy, she was staring at what could safely be considered her idol with wide eyes. But he also recognised another look.

Ivy was a shy child, she didn’t make friends easily or like talking to people in general. And the look she had on her face now told Rowan she’d entered her freeze response, fully shut down. He crouched next to her, turning her so she could look at him. 

“Hey, Ivy,” he said quietly. “Do you want to meet the mermaid or do you want to go?”

“I wanna meet her,” she replied even softer.

“Did you want to just give her a wave and go, or?” Rowna offered. 

Ivy shook her head. “No, I want to say hello.”

“Okay, I’m right here if you need me.”

Rowan stood and Ivy’s little hand found his. The mermaid’s focus had turned to them now and she clapped her hands and smiled. 

“Oh, you came!” she said, all excitement. 

Ivy nodded, the beginnings of a smile on her face. 

“I really hoped you would,” the mermaid said. “I had so much fun playing with you before. Would you like to come sit down and I can show you some of my treasures I’ve found on my adventures?”

To his mild astonishment, Ivy took a tentative step forward. She did look up at him for reassurance and Rowan gave her an encouraging nod. Ivy’s hands were curled under her chin, still slightly defensive but she kept walking. The mermaid extended a hand and Ivy took it, holding it all the way until they were sitting right next to each other. 

Rowan couldn’t hear what was being said, but only about a minute went by before Ivy had relaxed and she was smiling, animation creeping back into her face. The mermaid was doing an amazing job of bringing Ivy out of her shell and soon they were passing lines of conversation back and forth. Rowan smiled, hiding it as he looked down and shook his head. This woman was dedicated to her job, that much was for sure. 

Ivy and her new best friend were still talking and Rowan was left with nothing much else to do but watch. The woman in the costume was stunning to say the least, and if mermaids did by some chance exist she could be one of them. Dressed like this there was almost something ethereal about her. Details he hadn’t seen through the fog of the glass were clearer now. In the water she had looked paler, but sitting here in the light there was a lovely tan to her skin, and it didn’t look fake. Her make-up was fairly simple, just some gold on her eyes to highlight her lids, and there was some glitter on her cheekbones. When wet her hair had looked dark blonde—nearly brown—but as it dried a brighter colour was coming out. 

She kept to a colour scheme—gold and turquoise. The bulk of her tail was a rich turquoise, with highlights of gold on the scales and fin. That was truly a work of art, the fin itself was more of a feathery look rather than a short fin, and there were even smaller ones on her hips. Her forearms had what looked like scaled gloves on them along with some chunky coral jewellery. Even her top had was scaled and painted to match everything, and the way it fit it—

Rowan’s eyes snapped away from her chest before his appreciation went any further. He told himself to keep his eyes up, she’d already caught him once and that had been embarrassing enough. 

“Daddy!” Rowan heard Ivy squeal along with the pattering of her running feet. “Look what Aelin gave me.”

Ivy held up a bead that looked like a pearl. It clearly wasn’t, it was just cheap plastic but he knew from the look on her face that she would treasure it until she inevitably forgot about it. 

“Wow, that’s beautiful,” Rowan gushed. “Did you say thank you?” 

“Yeah-huh, I did,” Ivy said. “But Daddy, can you take a photo?”

He nodded, running an affectionate hand over her hair. “Of course.” 

Rowan pulled his phone from his pocket while Ivy ran back over, nearly jumping into the seat next to the mermaid, well Aelin he supposed he could call her now. He glanced at the screen and then up, making sure everyone was in position. It was right then that he realised why she had chosen turquoise and gold… her eyes, that's the colour they were too. For an embarrassing moment Rowan stared a little too long. They were so unusual, so exquisite. He had to wonder if they were contacts to go along with the otherworldly nature of her job. 

He returned his focus back to the screen and the two of them were smiling at the camera. Snapping a few just in case, Rowan nodded when he was done. Ivy ran over to him, thriving on the excitement of it all. They were walking away when Ivy turned around for one last goodbye. 

“Bye, Aelin! Bye!” She was waving frantically as she said the words. 

Aelin looked over at her, smiling widely. “Bye, precious. You have a wonderful day.”

“Bye,” Ivy said one last time. 

They walked for a while, Rowan leading the way as Ivy looked at the pearl cradled in her palm. He smiled to himself, his daughter’s joy so infectious. They ended up in a shark tunnel when Ivy finally looked up. She tracked the sharks and the stingrays that swam over head, a very soft wow escaping her. Rowan crouched down to watch along with her, just to see the world through her eyes for a moment. 

Ivy arms reached out and she hugged him around his neck. Rowan scooped her up, kissing her cheek as he stood. 

“How has your day been, my little love?” He asked. 

Ivy didn’t look at him, but she did hug him tighter. “It’s been the best day ever.”

~~~~~

It was near closing when Aelin was leaving for the day. Today had been great, eye irritation be damned. She waved goodbye to colleagues as she headed for the front exit, tired and hungry. Water performances always left her famished. Make-up and costume gone, she was wearing a simple pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, looking like any other visitor still hanging around. 

She had just walked out the main exit when she stopped to search through her backpack for her car keys. Someone moved past her and she stepped aside to give them some more space. Aelin’s hand was on said keys when she heard her name being called by an unfamiliar voice. She looked up and her stomach dropped. Her new little friend was looking back at her, propped up in her father’s arms and looking over his shoulder.

One key aspect of her job was keeping the magic alive and right now she was watching it fade away before her eyes. 

“Oh, hey Ivy,” Aelin said, waiting was the damning question.

“Where’s your tail gone?” The little girl asked. 

Her father had stopped and now the three of them were forced into starting up a conversation. 

“Well, you see,” Aelin said, quickly scrambling for a reply. “A seawitch put a spell on me and between three and six o’clock I lose my tail and become human. It allows me to get home but that’s about it.” There was a muffled laugh from the girl’s father. Aelin tried not to laugh herself, but the happiness of a small child hung in the balance, so instead she lent in conspiratorially. “To remain a mermaid I need a kiss.”

“Quick, Daddy. Kiss her!” Ivy exclaimed. 

The poor man looked a little panicked, no doubt having been weaselled into gods knew what by the little tyrant in his arms. 

“Ah, there’s the catch. It had to be my true love,” Aelin said with a sigh, and then something a little mischievous crept in. “And I don’t think your mother would appreciate that offer anyway.”

“Divorced,” the man said quite suddenly. “I’m divorced.”

“Oh, I see then,” Aelin said, biting the inside of her lip to stop any laughter over his abruptness escaping. 

All in all, Ivy seemed to buy the whole curse business, even though the premise might have been fairly outdated. 

“That’s so sad. You have to find them,” Ivy said, as serious as a child her age could be. “You have to be a mermaid.”

“You’re right, miss Ivy. I’ll have to keep my eye out,” Aelin replied with a wink.

“Ivy, why don't you go grab some pamphlets to show your uncles, huh?” The dad said. 

“‘Mkay, Dad.” Ivy was set down and she ran off to the wall that had the pamphlets, taking a moment to consider before she started grabbing. 

There was a moment of silence between the two adults, Aelin not exactly sure why this guy had sent his daughter off. She waited, hoping whatever this was would wrap up soon because she was starving.

“Do you do, ah… private functions?

Aelin’s head tilted to the side, blinking a few times. “Ahhh…”

Being hit on was a hazard of the job, she had been flirted with. A lot. And if that was what this guy was going for he was doing a terrible job. In fact, it was coming off a little creepy.

“No, wait. That’s not what I meant,” he said earnestly. “It’s Ivy’s birthday next month and she had such a great time with you today. So, I was just wondering if you worked outside of the aquarium. That was such a clumsy pass on my end.”

Aelin laughed, she couldn’t help it. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“But really, Ivy thinks you’re amazing, but if you don’t I completely understand,” the man said. 

Touched by his sincerity, Aelin only left him hanging for half a moment before she answered him. “For the right price, I most definitely do.”

“That would be fantastic, thank you,” he said. 

“Aelin, by the way,” she said, finally getting to a proper introduction. 

“Rowan,” he said, fishing his wallet out of his pocket and handing her a business card. “Here’s my number, just send me a quick text and we can get it sorted.”

“Sure thing, Rowan.” Aelin tucked the card into her pocket. “Anything for my new bestie.”

That made the father smile. “I’ll let you get back to it. Have a nice evening.”

“You too, Rowan,” Aelin said.

Rowan gave her a final nod before he went off to collect Ivy. He snuck up on her, catching her by the waist and winging her into the hair. The little girl’s laughter echoed and the whole scene was so sweet that Aelin couldn’t help but smile. She hasn’t been lying when she told him she did parties, it was usually just for friends. But watching the duo walk away Aelin decided that she would make an exception—just this once.

~~~~~

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[stardustedseas]

rafayel idea that's been bouncing around my head since this morning, tried to make this as gn as possible but i apologize if it comes off as more afab :'3 and since this is just me throwing ideas into the void, its a little chaotic and all over the place, i started adderall and am just getting back into writing after Years so im a little rusty, just used to yapping to my friends in text. i hope that if anyone reads this they enjoy!

-longish 18+ nsfw under cut-

imagine it's a while after you become his body guard, you have a routine that you're used to and your body can just work on autopilot, and while that's all fine and dandy, very helpful even, it can really fuck you up if your schedule is disrupted... imagine for whatever reason a day that you would normally meet up with him at his place is canceled ahead of time. eventually, you just kinda forget about the change, not looking at your schedule very in depth because you don't think there's anything different.

when you wake up on your own without your alarm, you obvi think you have a little bit longer to sleep but panic when you see its past when you should have been up and getting ready to head to rafs, thank god your bodys internal clock still works! you ofc rush to his place as fast as you can, not even thinking to check your callander or text him yet, and pray that you get there before he starts his theatrics that you forgot about him and hate him and are gonna leave him to die and 800 years has passed and oh look jelly fish are walking around and

when you get there youre a little thrown off at how quiet it is, raf isnt in his studio like normal or in the kitchen hunting for some food, you dont hear the sound of his tub either, is he still sleeping as well? if it werent for the fact you need to make him do something, maybe theres a meeting or a painting that needs finished asap, you would have left him alone and taken the chance to just relax. you love him so much yes but lord can he be a little much, especially in the mornings

after some calling his name and looking around, you come to his bedroom, not even bothering to knock and just fling the door open, getting ready to shout his name again and wake his lazy ass up but are quickly caught off guard at what you find- rafayel, all spread out in his bed, naked as the day he was born and desperately stroking his dick while holding the sweater you forgot there the day earlier to his nose, deeply breathing in your scent

idk about yall but if i saw that instead of him sleeping id probs just evaporate right there

hhdggeggrhrhr i know he would look absolutely ethereal all layed out on his bed like that, surrounded by the soft sheets and blankets, body actually shining like a gem from the early morning sunlight coming through his windows and hitting the slight sheen of sweat on him, a faint flush all over his cheeks and chest, his hair a mess from sleep and moving around, face all contorted in pleasure <3 whew

AND HE WOULD SOUND SO PRETTY i mean have you HEARD the sounds he makes in game... him full on moaning is probs better than angels singing i stg and i just know he would have the prettiest cock i just know it

hhhh his hips bucking up into his hand and his abs tensing, the most beautiful sounds youve ever heard are pouring out of his mouth instead of his normal yapping(i just know he moans and whines) the noise slightly muffled by the fabric over his face... but then he moans your name?? bye im on my knees

LMAO he would make the funniest yelp/scream when he sees you, both of you obviously embarrassed and caught off guard by the situation. hed probs frantically try to cover up, yelling and call you a pervert as if he wasnt just jacking off while huffing your shirt

OR if you are also a degenerate like me and believe raf has a scent kink (we've all seen The Card right) he could be using your panties you forgot there after changing clothes the day before, whimpering and whining at your scent, unable to get enough while his pretty eyes roll back... god i need to see that man all pathetic and debauched

this can go one of two ways imo- either you leave and try to pretend it didnt happen before the tension eventually bubbles over and yall confess your feelings later on, orrrrr you can offer to help him, he did look like he could use a hand after all :(

if you chose to stay and offer yourself to him, he might think youre teasing him and get huffy at first, but quickly calm down and let his favorite bodyguard help <3

gooodddd not to be feral but i need that clown fishes dick in me NOW

i personally don't think he would have had many s/os or one night stands, he did wait for you for 800 years after all, but he probs at least somewhat knows what he's doing. id like to think that means he's also very sensitive tho, even in game our touches make him all flustered, so he may not last long the first couple times you two are together, especially if he was already touching himself beforehand. he just can't help it :( his beautiful bride/groom/partner- his soulmate- is finally back with him and touching him so sweetly, ofc hes gonna cum soon so dont laugh or tease! you probably would too, mx. bodyguard!!!

this is more a general hc but hes a switch for sure, hes a bratty dude, not even in just a sexual way, so hes gonna be a little shit no matter if youre on top or he is (hes a brat bottom and still bratty service top to me okay) ive noticed a lot of ppl seem to like,,,, almost infantalize him? like make him not know anything about sex, never serious? and need babying. like, while yeah hes a silly, dramatic babygirl of a man, he is also very old and has his serious moments when he wants/needs to. i cant not see him being goofy during sex but to him, this is also a very intimate and intense thing, he loves you so so much and he needs you to know that, to show you it

that out of the way, back to the fantasy. could you imagine how he would look at you as you come into his room, slowly taking off your coat and equipment, kneeling on the bed to crawl fowards and stradle his hips... hes t h r o b b i n g

god the first kiss with him would be so <3 the need and love and lust and longing and affection and so many other emotions just all pouring into your lips on his, hed sit up to kiss you better, holding you close, not wanting to let you go now that he finally has you again. you guys know that scene where you smooch and theres a string of saliva between you? yeah <3 i need to feel his dick twitch under me so bad while we kiss, yall

he would absolutely complain that its unfair hes naked but youre still mostly clothed, 'subtly' begging for you to take them off or let him do it. he thinks you're the most breathtaking thing hes ever seen, better than any other person, scenery or art ever made, he could stare at you for hours if you let him.

to me, none of the LaDS boys would care much about looks and beauty standards, not even your gender. i know the ppl who made the game are homophobic and its obviously very woman centered,but these guys would not take gender/sex into consideration when it comes to a partner. it doesn't matter how skinny or fat you are either, how tall or hairy, how many scars or stretch marks or moles you have, you will always be beautiful/handsome to them, your body is attractive and who you are as a person makes you even more appealing

sorry got a little sappy there lmfao where was i

right, after he gets you naked as well, he would want to worship you. yeah, you offered to help HIM but raf is a man of art, he cant just have the masterpiece that is you on his lap and not want to touch and admire. if you want to just pleasure him first, he would argue but eventually let you do whatever, his body is yours just as much as yours is his after all

please, slowly touch all of his body, make him relax back and just,,, touch him. his skin is mostly perfect (lucky bastard) but he does have some light hair and a few moles and scars (like the one on his chest <3) pls kiss them, praise him and tell him how attractive he is. he knows hes a very good looking guy, but ik he is a sucker for praise and would love to hear you say it. tell him how much you care for him, how even if you havnt known him long (that you remember), your heart still belongs to him. he could cum just from hearing it combined with your soft touches

god i wanna kiss all over his body so bad, touch him, feel how soft his skin is and trace his lean muscles, nip at the few pudgier spots on him, and just absolutely worship him like the sea god he is. hes sensitive all over but ik his chest is especially receptive to you. i just KNOW he wouldnt be able to stop himself from whining when you touch his nipples, run your thumbs over them, gently pinch them between your fingers, leave kisses and lave your tongue all over and suck at the tender flesh and he will be moaning and twitching under you in no time, demanding begging for more

i wanna leave hickeys all over his body too, his soft skin would look gorgeous painted with the bruises. he would say something like right now you are the true artist and his body is your canvas,so do whatever you want, make him your masterpiece. i think his fave spots to get hickies would be where he can clearly see them, he would get a little flustered if others could spot them too but he would also like how they all know hes taken. cough healsothinkshelookshotashellwiththemandhesright cough, he loves when you leave them on his neck and chest, put one right over his heart and hes about to swoon stg, i also think he would have sensitive inner thighs so he also enjoys when you put some there.

the first time you touch his cock he about nuts on the spot, white knuckling the sheets. it won't take much for him to finish, but i think he would have a quick refractory period and the urge to go multiple rounds, horny ass, so its okay. i hc him as being longer than he is thick, nothing crazy but def enough to reach all your deepest spots and choke you when hes in your mouth. god i just know he has the prettiest dick, its pale at the base like the rest of his skin but gets pinker near the tip, uncut, a slight curve and has a couple of faint veins that make him gasp when you touch them. the more turned on he is/the closer to cumming, the deeper shade his tip gets, very leaky too imo. i dont think he would have a lot of hair down there, for one the rest of his body doesnt but also hes a merman, underwater creatures dont tend to have a lot of hair, and even if he did he would absolutely keep it well trimmed,not completely shaven but short and neat. yes the carpet matches the drapes

okay sorry i keep getting side tracked i cannot shut up about him

after you have your fill with the rest of his body and reach the main course, pls gently kiss his tip first and he will die happy. since its your first time together, you start off slow and easy, just lightly stroking him while kissing and licking all over his shaft and suck on his tip. hes def already close and his sounds are clear indicators, as well as his hand gently petting your hair. he would tell you what he likes/doesnt like, if he wants you to keep doing something ect but otherwise he just lets you do whatever you want. please dont get mad if he bucks his hips up and accidently chokes you tho, he doesnt mean to but you just feel so good </3

like i said, he probs wont last long, he might try to pull you off, embarrassed hes close already but if you insist it's okay, its actually flattering, he will let you continue and tell you when hes about to cum incase you dont want it in your mouth. if you let him finish in your mouth and swallow, though? lord have mercy he just ascended. i dont think he would taste bad at all, he has a good diet and exercise so its not unpleasant. if you lick any remaining cum off his dick or your lips/hand, he may need cpr tho so be warned

that being said, theres a good chance he will just cum unexpectedly without being able to warn you, especially if you deep throat him, youre so hot and wet around him that he cant help it, he really does love how warm you are. when he orgasms, he def is louder and will chant your name, gripping onto any part of you he can whether its your hair, shoulders or hand, he just needs to be touching you. be careful that he doesnt gag you btw, he sometimes loses control of his body and fucks up into your mouth, he will apologize and make sure youre okay afterwards tho

please hold him while he comes down, pet his hair and praise him, he will be ready for round two soon. speaking of, he will want to make you feel good so bad too, if you dont want to go all the way just yet, he would gladly just give you oral as well. i just know he would be so good with his mouth and fingers, he is an artists and never shuts up after all, plus he learns quick. he will roll you over so hes on top after he catches his breath, necklace brushing your chest as he kisses you again, enjoying the taste of his cum and your unique flavor. if you let him, he will absolutely return the favor ten fold, his lips and hands will touch every centimeter of your body, the sweetest things youve ever heard murmured agaisnt your skin.

it also doesnt matter how big your chest is, he absolutely has his mouth all over it and is groping anything he can. i like to think he would have a slight oral fixation when it comes to sex and could spend hours just sucking your nipples until theyre too sore to continue. he says it helps him relax lmao (he may have a mommy kink but thats for later speculation)

hes gonna love to bite at and knead any and all rolls/curves you have. he just loves how soft and squishy you feel under him (you become his own personal stress toy later on btw you are now a stress ball) hes addicted to touching you already. if you are insecure about anything, he will absolutely shower it in even more love, waxing poetically about how beautiful you are so dont say stupid things about yourself

if you dont have much body fat and are more muscly/boney, he will love to trace them just the same, being able to feel so much of your body, even the parts inside of you, makes him feel some kind of way.

god help you both when he reaches your groin, he will become addicted to your taste and smell so fast. he will probs start off trying to tease you by just kissing around where you need him most, sucking little hickies here and there and lightly brushing your sex but he is also impatient and quickly moves on from that lmao once he gets his mouth on you its all over, i feel like he would be the type to hump the bed and moan as if hes getting the pleasure while giving you oral too, your sounds, taste, smell, touch, all combine to turn him on again. please tug his hair lightly, i dont think he likes a lot of pain but if you grip a little he will happen to moan louder against you. also PLEASE use him for your pleasure, press him closer and grind into his face all you want, he can take it, cover his face in your wetness or fuck his mouth, he is in heaven rn

his tongue and fingers should be illegal ngl they are dangerous weapons, he will have you cumming in no time at all. even if you didnt give him oral he would still want to do it to you, he loves seeing you feel good so much, he will probs need to paint after you make love because he feels so inspired.

he will absolutely turn from teasing to begging, pleading you to cum in his mouth, he needs to taste it so bad. if you have amab anatomy he wouldnt want you finishing on his face, only in his mouth simply because he feels like it would be a waste and be better off in his belly <3 he also just doesnt like the mess, butttt he can be persuaded, if you really want to or you say something like you wanna paint his face with streaks of white like the prettiest picture he will fold in two seconds flat.

if youre afab he will love it if you squirt, if you cant or just dont this first time he wont be upset, but if you do? he is trying to catch as much in his mouth as he can and milks you for all youve got, you will have to pull his fingers away and make him stop before he accidentally overstimulates you lmao

fuck he would look so hot after too, his face all covered in your cum and his spit, eyes hazey from arousal and love, panting slightly and his hair all over the place from where your hands were in it. pls help him clean up, if you wipe his face and push his hair back from his eyes he will melt, leaning into your touch and kissing your hand, ironically, hes like a big cat, especially after sex.

if you want to go all the way and do penetrative sex he will be so down and already has the lube and condoms ready, but if you arent ready or are okay with just that one round he is happy too, content with just snuggling you in bed. dont expect to leave anytime soon tho, he is a leech and WONT let you go, convincing him to let you use the bathroom is an actual battle. he is the clingiest, cuddliest mf ever, it doesnt matter what position youre in, as long as hes close to you hes happy. i do think he would like being the little spoon more tho, he loves being big spoon because you feel nice in his arms and he feels like hes protecting you but he just loves being held a tiny bit more. its like you are the one protecting him and dont want to leave him, its comforting

if you do want to continue tho... dont have any plans for the rest of the day, period. between making love and cuddling after, youre not going anywhere.

like i said, hes a switch for sure, so hes good with whatever you wanna do. wanna ride him? perfect. want him to fuck you? also perfect. want him to ride you? yee haw baby. want to fuck him under you? hes ready. be warned tho, if you do the penetrating or ride him, he will be whiner and more bratty, making more demands and back talk 🙄 someone please fuck this man stupid he needs to be humbled yall /aff

if he does the penetrating/is on top, he will be more gentle and a little more serious, wanting to make sure you feel the best you can. he wont stop being silly ofc but he wont be as much of a shit head, especially if its your first time with anyone, not just him. he would prefer missionary this way too(or mormal cowgirl if hes riding you) so he can hold you close and see your face, he loves watching how you react to anything he does. he also has a big thing for eye contact, he wants to press his forhead against yours and gaze into your eyes, it feels so intimate and wholesome despite what youre doing.

he will absolutely get upset if you try holding back your sounds, bro is about to throw a temper tantrum stg /lh, he thinks you sound amazing and he likes knowing you enjoy what hes doing. if youre just naturally quiet he will understand but be a bit bummed, pls talk to him and tell him how good hes making you feel and what hes doing right :) he will perk back up quick. i think he would probs press his nose unto your neck and hair a lot ngl, your scent is so lovely and being so close to you makes his heart vibrate lmao also pls hold his hand during

he would love to be the one to stimulate your clit/dick to help you cum but if you prefer to do it yourself thats okay too, he might be a little whiney but still happily touch other parts of your body instead, just wanting to make you feel good

again, i dont think he would last overly long but he would make sure you get off too, even if it means he gives you oral again or just pushes through his sensitivity, you Will cum. if you take longer to finish, its okay, he wont be upset or leave you hanging, absolutely determined you orgasm. lmfao he gets more locked in to make you cum than when he paints.

when he gets close, hes gonna cling to you again, holding you as tightly against him as possible and his thrusts will become shallower, more humping you than full on strokes yk. fyi when he does finish, hes gonna imagine he doesnt have the condom on and that hes filling you up, i know in my heart that he has a thing for creampies (maybe even breeding later on but thats not for rn), seeing your combined cum drip from your still twitching hole makes him want to go again. its the same if youre penetrating him, he wants to feel your hot spend inside of him. when you do follow suit and cant help but moan his name, hes gonna get the most love sick look on his face and probs groan too

after you both finish and relax into eachothers arms, hes gonna ask if this was serious for you, if you meant what you said about Liking him, if this means you two will start exclusively dating now... he wants to make sure youre on the same page, to him, this wasnt just helping eachother get off, it was making love and showing eachother how you feel, he really hopes that its the same for you...when you say yes, he tries not to show it but hes about to start giggling and kicking his feet lmao he pulls you somehow tighter to him, almost wanting to crawl into your skin so you can never leave him again, kissing your breath away

p.s. pls bully him about huffing your clothes earlier, especially if its your underwear lmfao do not let him live this down, call him your pervy dog

all in all i need to fuck rafayel, specifically after i walk in on him jerkin off, and then cuddle him

[thatwildnya]

Chapter 1: pov you've been adopted by a strange bird man who put you in a barely functioning house during a typhoon and now you find yourself rooming with a giant bat and his fox son what a great start to this story

TW: none. i think.

chatters: Wild panicked on what to call this chapter please bear with him and be nice pls. also everything this is subject to change

Lilia: vampire bat (obviously)

Silver: arctic fox

The floorboards creaked as you walked through the door. Dust and cobwebs covering everything in sight as if trying to swallow the furniture. There was a lot of cleaning to be done, and you were not looking forward to it.

Covering your nose with your sleeve, you walk into the living room thinking about what your newly adopted uncle had said.

“I have so graciously cleaned the master bed, bath, and kitchen for you so you can rest as soon as you arrive. Everything is in working condition. However the water only works in your bathroom, and all other maintenance won’t be able to come until the storm is over. Don’t forget to light the fireplace to keep warm at night. Your neighbors have agreed to allow you to come over and charge any electronic devices as needed. Here’s a credit card, use it to only buy the essentials! There’s plenty of premade meals that you can just eat straight away or heat up real quick. Just call me if you need anything! I’ll be off then, see you!”

Then he’d driven off. At least he left you food and a lantern.

You followed footsteps on the dust covered floor, assuming they’d lead you to the bedroom. If not you might be looking for a while, this place was huge. You remember he’d mentioned it used to be some kind of dorm.

Finding your room, you went to one of the windows to peer out. You grimace seeing the state of the yard, you were not looking forward to cleaning it either.

A scuffling sound caught your attention. Head whipping around, you notice the blankets on the bed were messy. Did your uncle not bother to fold them? The answer came a second later as a snout poked out from under the bed.

A white fox kit peeked out at you, quickly popping back into hiding seeing you had spotted it.

Slowly you set down your bags and get on your knees to take a look at the little animal. It had backed into a corner, trying to make itself look small. It stared back with pretty blue purplish eyes, ears flat against its head.

The little guy must have found its way in here to hide from the storm that was forecasted to start tonight. The clouds had been forming all day, and the rain should start any minute now.

Sitting back up, you open a backpack to fish out one of those premade sandwich boxes found at grocery stores. Opening it up you tore the sandwich in two, placing the bigger half on the lid, and slid it towards the little fur baby. Its ears perked, raising its head. Its nose twitched, the smell of turkey making its tummy growl.

“It needs it more than I do.” you thought watching the fox kit creep closer, unable to resist the temptation of food. What happened next was unexpected.

The fox poofed into a young boy with cute fox ears, below his torso was replaced with a fox body instead of legs. He reached out, pulling his meal under the bed for him to enjoy.

“Huh. He’s a centaur.” you thought, watching the silver hair boy gobbling up his half with gusto. Was he abandoned? He knew how to use his hands well for his age. Or maybe he picked it up from watching humans.

Once finished he licked mustard off his fingers. Ew, good thing you waited for him to eat first. Mustard was gross. His eyes turned back to you, unabashedly staring at the other half. You almost laughed at the stare, he was adorable.

“You can have it,” his eyes lit up, yep definitely abandoned he could understand you, “but you have to come get it yourself.” he didn’t hesitate. Crawling out he got up and walked perfectly towards you without wobbling from the difference in upper and lower body, further setting in stone that he was abandoned and hadn’t just picked up things he knew about society by simply watching.

He sat in front of you, holding out his hands politely. You hand over the rest, smiling when he thanked you. Unable to resist, you give his hand a pat. His tail wags, ears drooping slightly as he munched happily.

~~~~~~

Why was this bed so big. There was a name for this kind of bed, alaskan emperor or something? Well, whatever the name was, it was massive. You take a seat on it. This was the most comfortable bed you had ever felt in your life. Flopping back, you feel your body sink into the cloudy mattress. The fox centaur you’d befriended hopped on next to you. He rolled around, suddenly energetic. You smile, watching him go about his zoomies.

He jumped on your belly. You grunted at the sudden weight on you.

He’s grinning down at you, tail a tornado of white behind him. He wants to play. And you want to play, but the energy just isn’t there. So you try to calm him down. Reaching up you massage his ears, hoping he’d calm down with some petting. However this doesn’t help in the slightest. Instead he turns his head and playfully bites your fingers.

Being a child he doesn’t always realize how easy it is to hurt others. He hasn’t lost all of his baby teeth yet and were still very sharp. You let out an “ah!” feeling the pointy teeth nick your finger, leaving you with a tiny cut.

“Silver, you need to be careful. Humans don’t have skin as tough as mine.” a voice chuckled overhead. You freeze. Gazing slowly turning upward, you see bright red eyes gazing down from the ceiling. You’re frozen in place until the huge creature drops down. You sat up so fast your new friend was nearly sent flying.

It stood up, the humanoid half resting it’s forearms on its big leathery black wings. It was so big it wasn’t able to stand at full height, and its hair so long it pooled to the ground. A grin showing off sharp fangs morphed across its face seeing your shocked pikachu face.

“Good evening,” the creature greeted, walking forward on its wings to stand in front of you “are you the new owner?”

~~~~~~

The fae’s name was Lilia, he was a vampire bat centaur. The little foxboy was his adopted son Silver, an arctic fox centaur. According to Lilia they’d settled down here to use this place as a temporary home until the stormy weather went away. Lilia didn’t want his son to get sick from the coming rain so he’d found this place for them to hide away. He had thought it was abandoned until your uncle had suddenly come to clean up. They were originally going to just stay hidden in a different room but he hadn’t expected you to arrive so soon.

The whole time Lilia was explaining their situation Silver was still hyper. He had popped back into his fox form, having reached his limit, and was currently playing footsies with your hand, occasionally hopping around on the huge ass bed behind you. You still weren’t over how big it was.

“If it isn’t too much trouble, I hope you’ll allow us to stay for the time being. We’ll be gone as soon as the weather clears up.” The fae smiled as Silver climbed into your lap a final time, curling up. It was time for bed, he was all tuckered out. “Silver seems to really like you too, he’ll keep you company if you’ll allow it.”

“Stay as long as you want.” you say, gently moving Silver off your lap, “this place is too big for me. I’m only here because I got lucky. I don’t care what you do so long you don’t cause trouble.” Lilia tilts his head at you, eyes gleaming as he watches you get up and walk to the large fireplace on the other side of the room.

Taking a match out of the box left by your uncle, you lit and tossed it onto the wood. To your surprise the fire was a dirty white instead of the usual red and orange. Your uncle had enchanted the wood to never burn away. That explained why there weren't any other logs nearby.

You hear the floorboards creak. Lilia had returned to hanging from the ceiling. Now that you knew he was up there, you had a feeling of uneasiness. Fae centaur were known to be very aggressive if not handled properly, and it was a huge risk to bring in any wild born ones into a household. You constantly glanced up at him. His eyes never left you, unblinking as he observed you undress and prepare for bed. He grinned whenever he noticed you looking at him, waving at you with a wing.

Crawling into your enormous bed, you realize you won’t be able to sleep. The fireplace was too far for the warmth to reach you. The rain had started by now so even if you bundled yourself up as much as possible you would still be cold. With a sigh you grab a pillow and the blankets, leaving the warmest for Silver. You did your best to make a nest next to the fire. The wooden floor would definitely make your body sore come morning. You curl up in your makeshift bed, trying to get comfy.

~~~~~~

From the ceiling the fae observed you, watching you leave his son the warmest blanket despite him not having any need for it. He watched you toss and turn for a couple hours before finally drifting off to sleep.

He shook his head, silly human. Centaurs are much more equipped to survive in the wild than humans. Quietly dropping down, he gathered you in his arms and used his magic to levitate the blankets back to the bed.

“Hm, this won’t do…” he thought, he was much too big for the bed. The frame would break under his weight. Setting you down, he uses his magic to become smaller.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve taken this form.” Lilia thinks, picking up Silver in his arms. Carefully he envelopes you in both his wings. Your head ends up on his furry belly, Silver snuggled under your chin.

Lilia strokes your head, smiling when you bury your face further into his second stomach. You poor child, thrown away for simply being magicless. There was no need to worry, he’ll make sure you’re watched over from now on.

[fefe658]

Refurbishment [ 2 ]

Part 2 of my birthday gift for @chaosduckies, all characters belong to her.

Previous - Next

CW: Mentions of gore, death and more silly things

As the gentle rays of the sun illuminated his little nest, Nathan awoke to the sound of... talking?

Nathan rubbed his eyes, trying to make out what the mysterious voices were saying. He swam up to the entrance of his little cave, just enough to look outside and see-

The giant mer.

Nathan's eyes widened in terror and he immediately shot back under the cover of his cave.

It's back, it's back and it's not alone. Of course it's back why did I stay here instead of escaping? Now I'm gonna die here like-

Nathan tried to get his breathing under control. If he managed to hide from the creature last time, he can wait it out once more and then get the hell out of there.

Since the mer's voice seemed to come from far away, Nathan decided to cautiously look at it to get more information. But as he peered outside expecting to see a group of giant mers, he was confused at what he saw.

The giant mer wasn't talking to anybody. There weren't any other large creatures swimming with it (thankfully). So what was it doing? Was it just talking to itself?

"Weird..."

Before Nathan could realise he had said that aloud, the larger mer's head snapped towards him. Nathan's heart started beating faster than before as he quickly dove for cover.

If- If the giant had heard him, oh god... I just called it weird- I just insulted it behind its back! It's gonna come here and tear away my cover and- and-

Nathan started hyperventilating, waiting for giant hands to rip him away from his hiding spot and tear into his body, crush him betweeen those teeth and-

The larger mer turned away, and started talking again.

Oh.

So it didn't see me. Good. Why did it turn towards me then? Did the giant think they imagined it? Is this just a sick joke? Is it gonna turn around and laugh at me for letting my guard down and-

The larger mer stopped talking. Instead, it put something on the ground and swam away.

Nathan tried to catch his breath for a moment. Was that fish? The giant seemed to have put fish on the ground. His stomach grumbled. This is a trap. This clearly, oh so obviously a trap. The mer put that fish down to make him come out and-

Nathan started fuming. He was way too smart to fall for that. He wasn't just a mindless fish, he wasn't prey. He was so smart in fact, that he could beat the giant at its own game. He'd grab the food and leave this place, making sure to never come back.

Halfway trough his flawless plan, he started to realise just how not-so-smart he was acting. He was swimming right into the mer's trap, and his mind was screaming at him to go back to the safety of his cave.

It's a trap, it's gonna come here while you're eating and it won't even bother to distinguish you from the rest of the fish-

But I'm so hungry.

Nathan's judgement was starting to get overrun by his need for food. He hadn't eaten in who knows how long. He still hasn't seen any live fish in this forsaken reef (maybe because there's a giant mer cleaning out this entire territory you idiot-) and the fish that was oh-so-generously left here looked so delicious-

The mer wouldn't mind if he ate some of it. Would it even notice? He's more than sure the giant could just tear open his hiding spot if it knew there was a tasty little mer inside (don't think about that right now-), so why would the larger mer go tough the hustle of making a trap to lure him out of hiding? It probably doesn't even know he exists (then why could it smell you) so it put that fish down to eat it later (then why did it hear you) he's sure everything's gonna be fine (he's going to die here-)

As he finally reached the food, a dozen of fish neatly lying on a bed of seagrass, Nathan fully expected for something to jump out and kill him. But nothing happened.

Hesitantly, he reached for the fish (could it be poisoned? Why would it poison the fish to catch me if it could just eat the fish? Does it just prefer to eat creatures that can plead for mercy as they're torn to shreds-)

Nathan's stomach let out a growl. It was either certain death by starvation or death by dubiously poisoned fish. As he took a bite, he let out a sigh of relief.

This is the best thing I've tasted in a long, long time.

Granted, he's spent the last days.. weeks? Looking around for a place to call home so he didn't really have time to find food apart from the easily available redfish or flounder (those always tasted awful-)

Nathan was lost in his thoughts when he was caught by surprise by an unfamiliar voice.

"What are you doing here?"

-----------------------------------------------------

Oooooohhh Nathan has been founddd! But by who you may wonderrr??

Anyway I'll eventually explain what exactly happened to Nathan's parents, I'm just joking about something from the original restoration series from the original author (which y'all should check out btw)

WHAT HAPPENED TO RYKER'S PARENTS, MR. DUCKIES?/lh

[skoople]

astronaut food

i've been meaning to outline the eating habits of the main wolf 359 characters. specifically, what do they eat and drink, what do they enjoy, what are their kitchen sins, how do they eat, and why. this is going to be a combination of canon, implications, and my personal read on them. let's get right into it:

DR. ALEXANDER HILBERT

his view on eating is utilitarian to the point of reddit-ness, and he'll often go without meals to get something done or to prove a point (see: Succulent Rat-Killing Tar, What's Up Doc). his palate is a very "get what you can out of whatever you can" approach without considering much in the way of taste or texture (seaweed coffee is his invention). HOWEVER! hilbert has one prized treat that is his achilles heel/autism samefood: Pecan Pie (see: Mission Mishaps Cold Turkey). i think it's got a unique texture, and a comforting smell that meshes with his suppressed desire for family and safety well.

kitchen sin: he regards the human need and desire for food as both frivolous and an unfortunate necessity.

LIEUTENANT RENÉE MINKOWSKI

she definitely enjoys fruit, or she wouldn't've cryogenically sealed a Braeburn apple (which are excellent for baking or dehydrating, btw) and brought it to space (see: What's Up Doc). she's also a planning type, and i think an efficient and tasty meal that involves the preparation and presentation of a fancy yogurt bowl is a favorite of hers and a dietary staple. minkowski is highly conscious of table manners, although that slacks a bit on the hephaestus, because she's eating across the table from hilbert and eiffel, for god's sake. still, clean and organized is her food philosophy. she owns possibly the only tupperware collection on the planet that includes every matching lid. the wine has almost no canon basis, and is mostly just a nod to voice actor Emma Shierr-Ziarko's own love and knowledge of wines.

kitchen sin: she thinks a clif bar counts as a real dinner if it's a weeknight.

CAPTAIN ISABEL LOVELACE

lovelace's favorite food is appetizers for the whole table, a team pizza party, a big awesome-smelling potluck, or anything meant to be shared. for her, eating is a casual and (more importantly) a communal activity. the social engagement from a loud brunch will nourish her just as much as the food does. besides that, i think she likes chocolate with nuts in it (e.g. snickers, chocolate covered almonds, rocky road ice cream, etc), but one of her favorite desserts is probably a strawberry milkshake. maybe it's a way to make up for all the protein shakes and high-efficiency smoothies (that taste like wet cement) she has to chug on account of the intense way she lives and works.

kitchen sin: she is a vulture if anyone else is cooking or eating. "you gonna eat that?" and picking off searing hot pans and baking sheets. she's really just curious but she never asks until its already burning her mouth.

COLONEL WARREN KEPLER

ok, the drink is a given. it's even on his official wolf 359 store merchandise. he likes the feel of it in his hand. but what does kepler eat? when does he eat? in private, obviously. his job is an exercise in restraint and perception, and he is his job (see: A Matter of Perspective). monsters under the bed don't need to eat, and they certainly won't be that vulnerable in front of a superior. but he's still a person, so i struggled a lot trying to figure out what he would crave. fish tacos, biscuits and gravy, and a loaded chicago hot dog were all floated, but the only meal i could picture kepler ordering where anyone could see him was lamb with mint sauce. it's expensive, recognizable, difficult to cook exactly right, and almost bloody.

kitchen sin: he will go out of his way to make you feel bad about what you're eating no matter what it actually is. he doesn't even have to say anything, he'll just glance at you or shift his posture slightly.

DANIEL JACOBI

this is a guy who loves to snack (see: Time To Kill. pringles: popped). he likes crunchy, salty snacks a lot, but it's more about the activity than the taste. that doesn't stop him from ritualistically complaining (see: Mission Mishaps No Complaints). he takes his time eating, but he doesn't pay much attention to it, which is why the longevity of a slushy is a favorite of his. jacobi lives off road snacks, but will find a way to complain about the points of a michelin star. he just likes bitching! the stinky cheese (see: Need To Know) pictured is a baked Camembert, because it's my post and i get to pick the cheese. Camembert is one of my personal favorites, but it can be fairly pricy and is a pain to clean up, which doesn't matter to jacobi (goddard company credit card please!)

kitchen sin: he spends an excruciatingly long time on any meal to the point where, if he had his way, they'd bleed into each other by taking an average of one bite every 15 minutes.

DR. ALANA MAXWELL

the drink pictured is a rockstar energy, but whatever legal(ish) stimulants can get inside her body the most effectively is maxwell's favorite. she eats a lot of takeout (see: Mission Mishaps Happy Holidays) because it's quick when she forgets to eat all day and it's tasty and she has the pay grade for it. she grew up in a tiny nowhere town that was in all likelihood at least partially a food desert, and her family dinner table warranted a restraining order, so i think in her adult life she tries to get as far away from that as possible. this often manifests in trying all the outlandishly spicy things she can get her greasy mitts on, because she is both inquisitive and masochistic. fuego takis are pictured because theyre a staple snack that jacobi will buy for her if she promises to share (she's lying and will eat the whole bag)

kitchen sin: she allows the nearly-empty cans, bottles, bowls, and bags to sit out and fester. once every 2 weeks she sets a timer and rushes through dumping it all into a giant black trash bag so that she doesn't get an infestation of ants again.

OFFICER DOUGLAS F. EIFFEL

and the "F" stands for food! eiffel definitely spends the most time talking about food. he's hungry! since his eating habits are so prominent in the show, i figured a compilation of his food and drink moments in canon would work a little bit better than my own personal extrapolation. excerpts from Limbo and Boléro were omitted.

kitchen sin: while some people might argue that pineapple on pizza belongs in this spot, i am not so judgemental. i just want him to eat from dishes that aren't visibly dirty.

HERA

[insert byte joke]

kitchen sin: she doesn't have a mouth.

[kahluamystery97]

Satellite Part Three (HS X OC)

Harry punched the address to Maggie's house into his navigation system in the Range Rover.  He literally accomplished nothing today. Unless you counted stalking Maggie Dunne on the internet an accomplishment.

He was nervous. Harry didn't get too nervous with women. It felt natural to speak to them.  So used to their company between his Mum, his sister, his friends and his fans.  Maggie had him a little on edge though. She either didn't know who he was or barely knew him and he weirdly liked that. Maybe Maggie was on the internet today too. That made his stomach tight. 

Harry was so busy worrying about which Daily Mail headlines Maggie might have read about him that he passed her house. No one was behind him so he hit the brakes and reversed the little yellow sports car. He texted her, "Here." like she asked him to. 

A minute or so later the garage door opened. Maggie stood fresh faced, long blonde hair loose, short frayed denim cutoffs and a white button down shirt, cuffed and French tucked.  She stood against the wall and waved his car in. Harry worked on focusing on driving and not Maggie's tan legs that seemingly went on forever.

He parked and pulled a canvas tote from the passenger side as he stepped out. "Hello." He grinned. The deadly sexy dimples popping. 

"Hi." Maggie returned the smile. Then she couldn't think of a single thing to say. Not one. She wondered what his full pink lips tasted like though.

“I love this neighborhood. You are so tucked in here.” 

Right, yes. This is small talk. Please get with it Maggie, she scolded herself.  "It is. I love it here. Come on upstairs. I set us up on the deck."

"Wow. This view." He whistled.

"The house is only like 1700 square feet. I solely bought it for the deck and the views. Downtown obviously." Maggie pointed. She pointed up, "Hollywood sign. Then over that way, Griffith Observatory." She legitimately loved her house, her little piece of heaven and safety in L.A.

"Killer views. Nice size house for one person. I honestly have too much space."

"It discourages long term visitors. Works for me. I like my own space. Liza and Alex have big houses so they host the family." Maggie noticed the canvas bag. "Can I take that for you?"

"I brought some wine and some Gatorade.  Wasn't sure which you were up for."  He cocked his head looking for an answer.

Maggie took him in. He was wearing tan trousers, white vans, a ribbed white tank with a colorful short sleeve shirt unbuttoned over it all. His muscles rippled beneath the cotton. The black ink she saw in photos was just barely visible under the thin tank. His hair was perfectly tousled. Like he had the window open on the way over. A single curl sat on his forehead.  Her fingers tingled as she fought the urge to brush it back.

Maggie felt slightly crazy. I think I want to fuck this guy because he brought over gatorade. Am I that easy? Oh my God I am such a loser.   

"Wine it is." She made a decision. "So I realized I never asked you for your dietary restrictions.  I got sushi and salads. I was hoping it was a safe bet."

"Perfect. I really don't eat any meat besides fish and seafood." Harry shrugged. 

Maggie nodded. She hated talking about food, food allergies, diets, trainers. These topics consumed everyone she knew. They consumed Maggie too but she would never let another soul know that. Maggie knew her brand was big white, happy smile, carefree, body positive. The world knew she was nearly 300 lbs at 5'6 in high school and it actually almost destroyed her career. She had to take many bikini photos for magazine covers. Maggie learned to surf so the paparazzi could take pictures of her shredding the waves and then walking around with her toned, golden abs on display. No one wanted to know she had been hungry for more than a decade. No one wanted to know that the loose skin had been cut and pinned. A long painful recovery followed. No one wanted to know that she was watched by studios and producers and directors and costumers like a hawk. Like at any minute she would balloon up and ruin it all. Everyone around her just wanted her to smile and pretend a well balanced diet and lots of activity kept her so trim. Lies. Maggie mostly subsisted on coffee, black market diet pills aka light speed/amphetamines and exercise. Yoga, pilates, rowing, running, biking, hiking, weight training, hiit classes. Her church was Barry’s Bootcamp followed up by Barre classes.  

Maggie motioned to the bar cart. "I’m pretty sure it’s your turn to serve me a drink. I'll bring the food out."

"I'm on it." Harry busied himself opening the safe bottle of white he brought.  His ears perked up at the music. He hadn't noticed it before. What was this? He liked it. So she listened to music. Just not his music. Jesus Styles. Get over it, he chastised himself. This is not the time for your narcissism. 

Maggie reappeared with a tray that she placed on the long table. Harry put the wine down. Maggie took a seat next to the head of the table and pushed the seat next to her out with her foot. She put out plates, flatware and chopsticks. They helped themselves to some food and clinked their wine glasses.

"So do anything today?" Maggie asked. "It doesn't seem like you nursed a massive hangover."

"No hangover. I had some business to take care of. Nothing exciting. You?"

"Went for a run. Googled you.  Downloaded your album. Totally normal pre- hangout stalking." She admitted freely as a blush spread across her cheeks.

Harry laughed and raised his hand. "OK. Guilty. Same.." He appreciated her honesty.  They clinked glasses again this time to celebrate their awkward honesty. 

"I'm super embarrassed that I didn't recognize you lasst night. I do actually know who you are. You have different hair now. I’m also pretty certain we met at an SNL after party? And I really love your song.”

So she did know who he was. His stomach was flooded with warmness. He couldn't resist asking, " Which song?"

"Sign of the Times. First time I heard it I was in traffic and literally burst into tears. Which maybe isn't what you intended but it hit me here." She put her hand to heart. "And you should know I don't cry. I am just not a crier. Well, unless you pay me to cry on film."

"Wow so that’s a big compliment."

"You take pride in making ladies cry do you, Styles?" She noticed how quickly his lips turned down. Shit. She wasn't trying to be insulting. Quick change the subject. "So clearly you aren't from LA?"

"What gave it away?" He asked as he bit into a piece of sushi. "Grew up a few hours North of London.  I split my time now between here and there. You?"

"From New York. Upstate. A small suburban city. Mostly blue collar." She sipped her wine. “I do not split my time. I’m all in on LA.”

"And your sisters live here now too." He said, prompting her for more.

"So we totally googled each other and here we are still doing this part. Aren't we cute?" She smiled as she chewed her cucumber slowly. Always chewing everything at least one hundred times. 

"I think this is what normal people without a Wikipedia page do." He raised an eyebrow shoveling California roll into his mouth. 

Fuck it. She was going to expedite the getting to know you before I bed you portion of the evening.

"But we do have Wikipedia pages. Ok so I know you were in a singing competition.  You were in a wildly successful boy band for a few years. You are on hiatus?" She said unsure and searched his face.

"Oh do go on..." He wanted to hear more. Harry sat back with a big toothy grin and sipped his wine.

"Well the gossip is you date models exclusively. Seems like underwear models which you know good on you. Oh and of course your debut album was brilliant. That isn't gossip of course. I told you I downloaded it. I really liked it." She admitted.

"Really? Because generally only underwear models dig it." His eyes sparkled as he joked with her. "Speaking of music - what are we listening to? I like it but I'm unfamiliar. " Harry asked.

Maggie excitedly clapped her hands. "Houndmouth. I am obsessed with these guys lately. I find something I love and then I play the shit out of it."

"Guilty. Same here. Ok my turn. I know you and your two sisters have a production company. You seem to enjoy surfing, volleyball and just generally being in a swimsuit. Or at least that is what the paparazzi photos would have me believe.  Oh and maybe you are a nun or really good at that whole discreet thing? Not many pictures of you out with guys."

"You’re so on to me. I'm a nun. I have invited you here to see if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your savior." She said with a straight face and sipped her wine.

Harry nearly choked. "Now that would not even be close to the weirdest thing that has happened to me in LA." 

"Oh I believe it. Maybe we can trade horror stories later." Maggie looked down to the dishes around them. "Are you finished? I'll clear and we can have some more wine."

"Let me help."

Harry stacked some plates and followed her in the house. He was impressed.  It wasn't overly decorated.  It looked like a well curated collection of art and things Maggie loved.

As if reading his mind she said, "All the cool kids have decorators. I'm cheap so it is literally just me buying shit on the internet or on days off I'm scouring HomeGoods. It's home though and I love it."

"No, it’s great. Your art is interesting. " He laid the plates down on the counter and looked out the kitchen door at the walls.

"Nothing too crazy. I know very little about art except what I like. I have a friend who works in a gallery and he keeps me from getting taken."

"Wise. I'm a bit of a collector myself." A bit of a collector was probably an understatement. Harry loved art and spent a lot of time collecting to fill his London, LA and NYC homes. 

She quickly rinsed the dishes off and loaded them into the dishwasher. Seeing remnants of old food or meals made her anxious the next day. All remains of any meal or snack had to be tossed or stowed. Maggie didn’t keep fruit artfully stacked in bowls or glass canisters of painstakingly placed oreos or the like. If she didn’t have to see the food then she didn’t have to think of it. 

Maggie held up the wine bottle. "Split the last of it?" Harry nodded.

Maggie hauled herself up into a sitting position on the counter. She poured a little of the wine in her own glass. She shook the bottle in Harry's direction. He approached and she poured the cool liquid into his glass.

Harry didn't move away from her. They clinked glasses and never broke eye contact. The room was silent except for Houndmouth belting out 'Darlin'.

Maggie drained the wine from her glass and sat it down on the counter.  Harry watched her catch her bottom lip between her teeth. Her blue eyes narrowed in on him.

Harry's pulse quickened and his pants got tighter. Was it this easy? Wasn't this what he came here for?  A nice night in the company of a beautiful woman. He drank his wine and set his glass beside hers. Maggie put a long tan leg out and hooked it around his middle.  She sat up straight and Harry closed the small amount of distance between them. His hands moved to her waist and pulled her to the edge of the marble counter until she was pressed firmly against him.

Maggie leaned in and pushed her lips against his. The sweet of the white wine, the softness of her tongue taking over his mouth was intoxicating.  He pushed harder against her as she wrapped both legs around him. Her hands raked through the back of his hair. 

When the kiss broke Maggie pulled her head back a bit to look at his beautiful face. "Too forward?" She asked, biting her lip again.

"Not at all." Harry traced the corner of her mouth with his thumb.

"Let me give you the tour." She slid down from the marble now pressed fully against him. His six foot tall frame casting a shadow over her.. Maggie took his hand and led him out of the kitchen, back through the living room.

"My office," she pointed to a room. "2nd bathroom and this is," This was clearly Maggie's bedroom.

They stood at the doorway for a beat. Maggie dropped Harry's hand and began to unbutton her white shirt. She walked backwards toward the bed. 

Harry stood back a minute to watch her. The shirt dropped to the floor. A plain white cotton bra showcased her toned, tan body.  He dropped his shirt where he stood. Maggie was working on her shorts as Harry lost the tank and his belt. She pulled him closer and started to unbutton his pants while hungrily kissing him.  Harry grabbed a handful of magnificent ass that was peeking out from the cheeky white boy shorts.

Maggie ran her hands over every inch of his muscled back she could reach. She could feel Harry's hands travel up from her ass to roll over her back and finally worked on taking her bra off.  Maggie was particularly proud of her breasts.  They stood erect braless. Harry groaned when he saw that little bounce once they were free from the flimsy fabric.

When Maggie stood back from Harry to crawl onto the bed she got a better look at his body. The palm fronds she had seen in photos earlier were even more magnificent in person. She reached a hand out to trace one. A low groan escaped his lips.

From there it was a haze. Clothes on the floor. Warm bodies tangled together. Maggie found his facial hair was pleasantly soft against her thighs as his tongue delved into her. After he brought her to her first orgasm she had expertly wrapped him up in a condom. Harry hadn't been this turned on in ages and was scared he wouldn't make a good showing. He pressed into Maggie's wetness. Both of them sighing approval.

After their orgasms they lay quiet. Maggie spoke first. "I'm glad you came over."

Harry was smiling. "I'm glad you invited me after I was a bit of a desperate creep this morning."

"Quite a charming desperate creep though."  He laughed and kissed her bare shoulder. Her toe ran up his leg. "I'm going to use the ladies." He nodded.

When she returned she was in a white waffle robe and carrying a glass of water. She offered it to Harry as he sat up. He took a few sips and handed it back. Maggie took a long sip and pressed her lips together.

"Should I go?" He asked. He couldn’t quite read the room. 

 "Only if you want to. And if you want to I won't take offense. Honestly."

He believed it. She seemed cool. Maybe too cool. He liked her though. She was a bit of a mystery. Was mystery the right word? She intrigued him.

He settled in clearly not leaving. He reached an arm out. Maggie pulled the robe off and slid under the covers. Quickly she had a leg over him and pulled herself up and over him. Looking down she smiled, "I mean if you're staying we might as well."

When Harry woke up he was alone in Maggie's bed. He looked at his phone. It was just before 8am. They had been up past 2am talking and well not talking.

Harry noticed his clothes were neatly laid out on a chair in the corner. He pulled them on and then went to use the toilet.  Maggie had thoughtfully left a new toothbrush on her sink. 

  Once he finally emerged from her room he spotted Maggie out on the deck. She was on a rowing machine, her form perfect. Her skin glistened in the sun with the finest sheen of sweat. She was in a hot pink sports bra and black cropped sport leggings. 

Maggie heard the door open and slowed her pace so she could stop. "Good morning." She called.

"Morning. Did you even sleep?" Harry asked.

 "I did. Thought I would get a workout in. Let you rest."

"From my workout last night." He sighed as he stretched.

A smile danced on Maggie's lips. "Exactly.”

She got up off the rower and Harry leaned in to kiss her. He had clearly gotten the toothbrush because he was minty fresh. "Careful I'm a bit sweaty."

Harry looked her up and down unashamed. "Mmm, I like it."  His deep voice growled. He pulled her flush against him and kneaded his fingers into her supple backside. 

While Harry felt exhausted from the night before he also felt that familiar twinge in his pants at the sight of her.

Maggie felt the heat pool between her legs. However she knew she had a meeting in two hours she absolutely had to get ready for. Harry leaned in for another kiss. His tongue warmly licking into her mouth reminding her how it felt to have his mouth on her last night. 

She sighed disappointed with the clock running out on this rendezvous. "So this isn't me uninterested but I absolutely have to be at this meeting about a new film in like two hours. This is a big deal sorta thing, my dream project.”

"Oh hey no problem.  I get it."  And he did. Harry’s work was important to him. He had meetings to keep and a packed schedule. He was certainly not one to judge. He did hope it wasn’t just a tactic to get rid of him though. 

"I made coffee though and you shouldn't feel like you have to rush out or anything." Maggie said not wanting Harry to think she was forcing him out. 

"You’re excited for this meeting?" He could feel the energy she was giving off.

"Excited and nervous. I just know this project has amazing potential. " She admitted. 

Harry smiled. "I'm going to get out of your hair so you can do whatever it is you need to get done today. I had a really great time last night with you."  He pulled her in closer if that was possible. Their foreheads are now touching. His arms moved from her ass and now settled on her waist. 

"I really enjoyed last night too."  She breathed him in.

"Good luck today." He kissed her nose.

"OK now you have to leave because I feel compelled to take all of my clothes off and cancel on my sisters." She said willing herself to be a sane woman.

Harry broke their embrace. He made his way over to the stairs to the garage. "We can’t have that now. Goodbye Maggie." He laughed.

"Goodbye Harry." Maggie exhaled a deep breath watching both his curls and fine ass bounce down the stairs.

Maggie was unsure she would see him again but she was sure the memory of last night could get her through whatever droughts may come.

“Look at this smug bastard. What is up with you today?” Ben Winston asked Harry as he piled a mixed green salad on his plate. 

Before Harry could answer Jeff cut him off. “Date with Maggie Dunne last night.” 

“Ooooohhhh Maggie Dunne. You stud.” James Corden laughed loudly. “Not gonna share the horny details with your old married mates?”

Harry was having lunch over at CBS Studios in the offices for The Late Late Show. Ben Winston and James Corden being two of his best friends.

“It wasn’t really a date. We hung out. She’s cool.”

“Oh he is really tight lipped. Totally shagged her.” Ben cocked his eyebrow in Harry’s direction.

“Imagine if I went around asking about your sex life?” Harry sighed and sipped at this black iced coffee. 

“Oh fuck off will you mate. Just giving you a bit of a hard time. Maggie is lovely. Also, can you get her to do the show? She has some crazy hard on for Conan. He isn’t even on network tv.”James complained. 

“Call her agent or hire a hitman to take care of Conan. I dunno. No help from me though.” 

Jeff snorted. “Well now that is all sorted. Are you going to see her again?”

Harry sat back thoughtfully. He ran his fingers through his curls and then shrugged. “So we didn’t really establish if we had planned on seeing each other again.” 

“How did you leave things?” Ben asked. 

 “I mean on a good note. We kissed. I said goodbye.” Harry revealed a little more than he wanted. At that moment his phone pinged with a text. 

“I bet that is her now. Couldn’t get enough of Young Harold over here.” Corden nudged his arm. 

Harry looked at the text and put the phone back on the conference table. 

“Bad news?” Jeff asked. 

“No. Just Collette.”  

“Sort of feels like bad news.” Jeff groaned dramatically. “I thought you were done with that.”

“We’re friends.”

Ben chimed in. “Seems like a bad idea. It has been hard enough for you to move on. Keeping in touch, texting that seems like it is only going to make it harder.”

“Exactly what I’ve been saying.” Jeff offered. “Harry thinks he has to stay ‘friends’ with every girl he ever dated or shagged. Why isn’t your therapist addressing that?”

Harry threw a balled up napkin at Jeff and flipped him off. He knew his friends weren’t wrong. He just didn’t know how to give up his friendship, his ties to her. “Ok you old married sages. What do I do then?”

Corden stood up and slapped his hands down on the table. “You need me to tell you to nut the fuck up and call Maggie?”

"That was really fucking promising." Liza said, throwing her purse into her Infiniti QX80. She was a tall commanding woman. She decided her car should be the same.

'I don't want to jinx it but I think they loved the project." Alex sighed relieved. She leaned her back against Liza's beast of an SUV.

"I mean if we can get this movie made I can die happy." Maggie said and tossed her own purse into her Mercedes convertible.  This film was her baby. Making a movie about an iconic plastic doll seemed like a hard sell and an easy sell. However, getting the right team in place, a good script and now financing had not been easy. 

"Let's not die for it yet." Liza laughed. "Yet."

"I vote we blow off the rest of the day, drink margs and gorge on Mexican." Alex volunteered. It was very un-Alex like of her.

"Are you feeling okay?" Maggie asked, raising an eyebrow surprised at her sister. The mom of two never suggested getting wild or blowing off the day. If she wasn’t working she was home with her husband and kids. 

Liza chimed in, "Pod people got her. I knew it."

“Oh you two are just hysterical. Real comedians.” Alex proceeded to flip them off. “ I just don't feel like working or being a mom just now. I would like to be irresponsible at," Alex looked down at her Rolex, "at 1pm."

"Wait for it because it isn't pod people, it’s Freaky Friday. I'm the tired one." Maggie covered her mouth as a yawn escaped.

Her sister's both looked at her. Alex said,  "Probably because you are up at the ass crack of dawn working out. Let me guess running?"

"Rowing." Maggie shrugged.  "Also, I was sort of up all night fucking that guy I met at that party."

Liza's eyes shot up. "Which guy? The bartender?"

"What party?" Alex asked.

"That shitty party at Martin Graves house that Liza dragged me to. I was bored out of my mind so I decided to drink five whiskeys apparently."

“You took her to a Martin Graves party? Alex gave Liza an accusatory look. “You have heard what happens to pretty young things there?”

“Al nothing like that happened. I was okay. I agreed to go. Making a move for some last minute funding in case this didn’t pan out.” 

Liza narrowed her eyes at Alex. “I would never let anything happen to her.”

Alex reached out and touched Liza’s arm. “I know that, I do, I’m sorry.” 

Liza gave her a smile accepting her apology. 

"Ok so moving on. You met a hot bartender? Oh Margaret we need all the dirty deets. See, let's go have drinks and you can tell me everything." Alex pleaded.

"He's not a bartender. Dirty deets? Seriously, who are you?" Maggie asked with a shake of her head.

"El Coyote. We are going - now.  I'm driving over with Maggie. Sail the yacht over by yourself." Alex mocked Liza's SUV.

Liza rolled her eyes. " Jesus Christ Al."

Maggie and Alex got into the convertible and drove out of the parking garage. 

"Why does it kill Liza to be fun now? Remember fun? " Alex sighed.

"Al are you having some weird mid-life crisis?" Maggie asked as she turned right.

"Perhaps. Just feeling like an old woman. Maybe I'm a little jealous you’re picking up hot bartenders or not bartenders and having late nights. If my night is late it is because one of the kids won't sleep. I love my life but some days I want to be young and carefree again. I want to have sex without having to plan it like a mission to Mars."

Maggie reached over and squeezed her sister's hand. "Get Perry to take you out or better yet take you away. Me and Liza got the girls you know that."

Alex smiled. "I know. You guy -"

The phone ringing through the Bluetooth cut her off and startled them both. The screen flashed 'H - Hills Party'. Maggie put her fingers to her lips to shush Alex.

She may have been giddy but Maggie cooly answered, "Hello."

"So..." Harry asked.

"So?" Maggie asked.

"You were quite excited about your very important meeting today.  So how did it go? "

"Good, really good." She said enthusiastically. "I'm not saying another word though because I'm a bit superstitious."

"Would you like to celebrate or is that bad luck?" He asked.

Alex was staring hard at her. She started nodding her head and giving her a thumbs up.

"Actually I'm headed out with my sisters to El Coyote."

"No shit?" He asked. "I'm over at the CBS Studios. Maybe I could meet you afterwards?" CBS was conveniently right around the corner from the famed Mexican restaurant. 

Maggie was afraid Alex was going to sprain her neck. She was nodding so hard.

"Sure. I'll text you." Maggie offered. Alex silently cheered and then began to make some crude gestures. Maggie nearly burst into laughter watching her grown ass sister act like a twelve year old boy. 

"I'll be here." He said. 

Maggie disconnected the call before finally giving into the hysterics she was holding in.

"What the fuck?" Alex screeched laughing now too. "I don't care what he looks like. I nearly just nearly made a mess of my pants - that voice. Tell me you have a photo of him? But don't show me if he isn't good looking. In my mind he is amazing.”

Maggie was laughing so hard now. "Oh my God girl you are a disaster. He is very hot actually."

“So wait. Sexy British accent. He is hot. No way you had a fucking orgasm? God doesn’t give with both hands Mags.”

“Try three orgasms.” She looked over the top of her sunglasses at Alex who had her mouth wide open in shock. 

“Three? I’m not even sure that is physically possible . Three?”

“Three. Do you think I’m making it up?”

“Course not. Fuck me. I think I need a cigarette.”

“You gave up smoking in the nineties.” 

“Yeah well if I had three orgasms in one night I would pick it back up quick. Three. My mind is blown.”

“Mine too.”

Before they could go on she pulled the car into the parking lot and got her valet ticket. Liza was directly behind them.

The three walked into the storied Mexican restaurant.  The Dunne sisters were a stunning trio. Maggie the youngest was also the shortest. All three had piercing blue eyes. Liza, the oldest, had long dark hair, plush eyelashes and high cheekbones. Alex, the middle child was as tall as Liza, full figured, long legs. Blonde and blue eyed like Maggie.

“Booth in the back?" The hostess asked them. They were regulars here. 

"If you have one." Maggie smiled brightly.

"Of course. Follow me.”

Once the sisters were settled and margaritas ordered Alex piped up. "Maggie is meeting the guy from last night after this. He is some sort of British sex wizard.” 

Liza looked up from her phone distracted. "The bartender is a wizard? Only in LA.”

"Oh my God he isn't a bartender. I swear I have said that multiple times. Are you deaf or senile?”

Liza shot her a look. "Maybe a little bit of both. Or maybe I don't care who you bang as long as you don't end up all over social media and gossip rags because he can't keep his mouth shut."

"He's a singer. He’s very well known and he doesn't want to be all over the tabloids either. "

"A singer?" Alex asked. "That makes so much sense. That voice. Wait, what’s his name? I have to Google him."

"What are you going on about?" Liza asked.

"He called while I was in the car with Mags. Super sexy British voice. Maggie had THREE orgasms last night!" Alex announced a bit too loudly.

Maggie flushed bright red as she looked around. “Louder so the staff in the kitchen can hear it. This is totally going to be on Deuxmoi. Anon pls  Maggie Dunne had three orgasms with a wizard.”

Alex rolled her eyes and waved her hands, “Oh get over yourself.”

"I know I met this person but I literally have no memory of him." Liza shrugged. “Seriously, three?”

Maggie nodded. Liza smiled and looked down at the menu. 

"Ok, give me his name." Alex was poised to type into her phone. Maggie took a beat longer than what Alex was expecting. "What is his name Maggie?!" She yelped even more loudly than before. Some patrons nearby looked over.

The waitress appeared with their margaritas at that moment. "Can I get her a second one right away? Sorry it is sort of a margarita emergency.” Maggie flashed the pearly whites at the waitress and nodded toward Alex.

"Sure. I'll be right back."

“What constitutes a margarita emergency?” Liza asked sipping at her drink and trying not to spill.

Maggie only raised her eyebrows and gestured at Alex as if to say, “This. Her.”

"Sorry I'm really excitable today." Alex said flushed.

"No bullshit here - kid are you okay? Need an edible?” Liza asked as she motioned toward her gigantic Prada bag which always had an edible or ten in it. 

"I have no clue what is going on with me. Sorry. Mags diagnosed me with a mid-life crisis earlier."

"Her initials are MD, not her profession." Liza offered with a smile as she sipped the frozen concoction. 

"She's not wrong. I haven't even played a doctor yet." They all laughed.

The waitress brought another margarita for Alex and took their order. Unsurprisingly they all ordered the chicken fajita plate. Maggie could pick at the chicken and veggies and not get asked too many questions about what she was and was not eating. 

"OK so I'm going to ask you one more time, calmly. What is his name?" Alex gulped the last of her first margarita.

Maggie lowered her voice and moved in closer,  "Harry Styles."

"God that sounds familiar. Isn't he in a boy band? How old is this kid? We don’t need that sort of press" Liza asked as she tapped away at an email on her phone. 

"He was. He’s a fully grown adult." Maggie said, sipping her margarita. 

Alex had her head down scrolling through her iPhone. "Oh he sure grew up. Yum that mouth.”

Maggie looked over with flushed cheeks. “Yeah that mouth.”

“Full service?” Alex questioned. 

“Mmm hmmm.”

Alex offered the phone to Liza. She shrugged. “Oh that guy.”

They rolled their eyes at Liza. "So do you like him?" Al asked.

"He's really nice, seems down to earth but I don't really know him. Didn't know if we'd talk again after he left this morning."

Liza looked Maggie in the eye. "So now he's called you. Are you interested?"

"You guys know I don't have a lot of time in my life for that. Casual has always worked better for me. I’m not in the market for a relationship."

Alex was deep into that second margarita. "Can't be casual forever Margaret. Eventually you need your teammate. You deserve some happiness."

"I have my teammates and you both make me mostly happy. Except you with the judgy eyes." Maggie smiled at Liza. 

"You know what she's saying though." Liza ignored the rib and doubled down on what Alex was expressing. 

"I do. I don't feel lonely and I'm not planning on living a life of solitude or anything.  I just happen to like my life right now." 

Maggie wasn't lying. She did like her life. She answered to no one. She felt safe behind her walls. She felt like she couldn't be hurt or exploited. Feeling safe was everything to her after some of the dark shit that happened in her past. She understood why her sisters might want her to couple up. Liza and Alex married two of the best men ever created. Maggie was so lucky to have them as her brothers. Along with the girls they took such good care of her. 

"I like all of our lives right now. Look at us. We have come a long fucking way." Alex laughed hard. She was definitely on her way to drunk.  "Can we get three more of these?"  She pointed to the empty glasses. 

Liza motioned for two not three. The waitress nodded. 

"He dated Taylor Swift." Alex said seriously looking up from her phone.  "Oh no." 

"Which album? What did he do?" Liza asked seriously.  

Maggie said. "1989. Style. Wildest Dreams.”

Liza and Alex looked at each other. "Okay 1989 isn't that bad." Alex said. "I mean it could be worse. Though there is always Clean and Out of the Woods. He is a bad driver! Be careful.” 

"At least it’s not Dear John. Remember the time I 'accidentally' spilled red wine on John Mayer. That piece of shit." Liza spat angrily. 

"How could I forget?" Maggie cringed remembering John Mayer pulling out all his best lines and Liza dousing him in red wine and pulling Maggie away to a ‘very important call at 11pm’.

"Fine but if you go near John Mayer I will have you put down." Liza said. 

Maggie held her palms up. "I am fairly certain he wouldn’t let any of the Dunne’s within a ten mile radius of him after that.”

When the last fajita was eaten Alex looked up and announced. "I'm totally shitfaced. It is 3 in the afternoon and I'm shitfaced." Then she began to laugh and laid down in the round booth. 

Liza and Maggie exchanged a look, their eyebrows high on their foreheads. "Holy shit." Liza mouthed. 

Maggie was definitely not going to be driving but she wasn't drunk. She should probably let Harry know she was just going to let Liza take her home. When she made that announcement at the table Alex began laughing again even harder.

"What’s so funny?" Liza asked, pulling her upright.  “Get it together woman.”

Alex put Maggie’s phone down in front of her.  "I texted him. He’s on his way over to pick you up." 

Maggie looked stricken. "You texted who? What? Harry? What? What did you say? What did you do?" She opened her phone quickly.

'Had a three margarita lunch. Now is probably a good time for you to pick me up.' 

Harry responded, 'On my way now.' 

"I am going to murder you." Maggie said through gritted teeth. This only made Alex laugh harder with a snort. 

Liza looked around to make sure no one was listening. "Christ the two of you. I know you were joking about Deuxmoi earlier but I am definitely going to get a call on Sunday.” 

A few minutes later all three of them looked up to see Harry walking toward them. He was in a plain white t-shirt which displayed all his black ink and rippling muscles. Jeans and black Vans to round his look out.  His sunglasses were perched on top of his head keeping his unruly curls back. He smiled a perfectly white, dimpled smile. 

Alex took a sharp breath. Maggie took a sip of water. All the blood in her body rushed directly between her legs. She slid out of the booth.  "Hi. I didn't expect you to come all the way in." 

"Felt sort of rude sitting in the parking lot and texting." He smiled and then looked over to her sisters.  

Alex drunkenly struggled to navigate her way out of the circular booth. Harry offered her his hand. She smiled up, dazed and took it. "I'm Harry," He introduced himself as he helped her up. 

"I'm married." Alex said with a hiccup. "To Perry. He is very tall. Even taller than you." She looked Harry up and down a few times. "Harry rhymes with Perry." Another hiccup. 

Harry looked puzzled but smiled wider. Maggie was flushed red and worried her armpits might start sweating anytime now. 

Liza stepped in. "This is Alex. She doesn't normally consume four margaritas midday so if you'll excuse her. I'm Liza." She offered Harry her hand.  They shook. Liza then looked him up and down with immediate disapproval just as she had done the first time they met.

Harry felt her dislike for him. Liza wasn't subtle. He was so used to charming people right away. Liza made him uncomfortable and awkward. That people pleaser in him wanted to win her over. 

"Nice to meet you both. Can I offer you ladies a ride?" 

Alex got a big grin on her face. Maggie gave her a death stare. She knew there was definitely a sex joke about to fly out of her sister's mouth. Alex clamped her lips together. 

"I'm the sober sister. Since this one is married to Perry I think I'll take her. I guess you take that blonde one." Liza offered.

"Only seems appropriate." Harry said. 

Liza led them out. Alex swayed unsure on her Manolos. Harry offered his arm to her. She wrapped her hand around his bicep. Maggie trailed them. 

"I mentioned I'm married to Perry, right?" She asked him. 

"You did mention that. Perry is a very lucky man."  He said amused by Alex's drunk antics. 

"Oh good. He would want me to remember that. And I'm a mom. And I don't really drink. And I'm old." 

"Old? No way." He said. 

"I mean I'm Hollywood old. I'm 39. Tell him Maggie." Alex turned around to her sister. 

"Yes you are Hollywood old. When I'm 39 I'll be playing George Clooney’s mother." Maggie repeated a line she had said many times before. 

"Well I'm not from Hollywood. In the real world you are young. Old people aren't this beautiful day drunk on margaritas." He smiled over at Al as they walked down the few steps and out into the parking lot. 

"I like you even if you aren't a bartender and are likely a terrible driver. Please be careful with my baby sister." Al slurred.  Harry was totally confused. He just continued to smile. 

The valet saw Liza and ran for her SUV. Liza spoke to the other valet about leaving Maggie's car. Liza told Maggie she would make sure the car got to her house. 

"This is me." Harry motioned to the black Range Rover near the front door. "It was so nice to meet you. Both of you." 

"We should do this again sometime." Alex said. "This was so fun. You are fun Harry." Alex gave him a hug. He was laughing now and hugging her back. “Remember what I said about driving safely.”

Liza's SUV pulled up. "Get in the car Drunkerella." Liza said to Alex. 

"Bye Bubs. I love you. Drink lots of water ok." Maggie hugged Alex and kissed her cheek.

"Aww I love you my baby. My first baby." Alex kissed her forehead and pulled her in close looking weepy. "Do you know when you were little  -" 

"Fucking hell Al get in the goddamn car before you start crying." Liza yelled from the driver's seat. Maggie helped Alex in. 

"You aren't the boss of me, Liza.  I'm not scared of you. I'll kick your ass." 

"Goodbye you two. Have a pleasant drive all that way together. Sad I'm going to miss it." Maggie laughed as she shut the door. 

Now both Maggie and Alex turned to flip her off.  Then they were pulling out onto Beverly.  

Harry had tears in his eyes from laughing.  "What the hell was that? Your sisters are fantastic. What does she know about my driving? Did she talk to my mother?”

Maggie lightly shoved his arm. He led her to his SUV and opened the passenger door. Harry waved a thank you to the valets and then got in the driver's side. 

"So Maggie Dunne, what do you feel like doing?" He asked as he pulled out of the lot. 

"Well Harry Styles I have eaten. I have had margaritas. Not sure there is anything better than that." 

"More margaritas?" 

"And just like that you figured it all out." She smiled over to him. 

"A frozen Casamigos margarita by the pool?"  Harry raised an eyebrow. 

"Yes please." 

"Is my place okay?" Maggie nodded her approval. "So your sisters are hysterical.  Oh my God I might love Alex." 

"Everyone loves Alex. She's the mom. She's not whoever that lady was. I mean not normally. She is going to be mortified tomorrow but I'm glad she had fun today. You have a sister, right? What’s she like?" 

"Really smart. She's sarcastic. Reminds me a lot of Alex when she has had too much to drink. Whiskey not tequila. Like your sisters, she's my best friend." 

"Teller of truths? An ass kicker? And she is in England?" 

"Yes, exactly.  She does live in London. She comes quite a bit to visit me here which is nice. I mean I have to annoy her into it but she gives in." 

"It is nice to have that. You know I moved here alone. Broke. I had this dream that I would be on my favorite soap opera. Maybe go to college. I got my role on the soap and then a few months later I got a part in a Scorcese movie. Once my dreams started to become a reality it was hard to enjoy it without them. So they gave up their lives at home and moved here. All six of us lived in my little house." 

"No way! Your house you live in now?" 

"Yup. It was crazy but still some of my happiest memories were made together there." 

Maggie looked around. "You live near the Strip?" They were on Sunset. 

"Above." Harry pointed up. 

She smiled "Have to be close to the excitement?" 

"I did when I bought it. Now it feels a little silly." He said as he pulled at his bottom lip. 

Maggie pressed her thighs together feeling aroused just by that simple move. He was effortlessly sexy. 

The Range Rover climbed the hills. Harry hit the clicker and a large gate opened. A white three story house with massive windows and glass railed terraces stood before them. He parked just outside of the garage. 

They let themselves out of the car. Harry looked Maggie up and down for what was probably the millionth time in the thirty minutes since he had picked her up. She was in a white lightweight tweed Chanel dress with drop waist and black ribbon trim, black tights and black patent heels. The dress had a Chanel signature brooch pinned over Maggie's heart. Her blonde hair was loose and her lips painted perfectly red. 

He closed the distance between them. "You look really beautiful today." Harry said. 

A small smile danced on Maggie's lips. Harry wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into him. 

"Thank you. This is my ladylike business meeting look. Hoped I could seal the deal in it." 

Now it was Harry's turn to smile. "Oh you've sealed the deal Miss Dunne." 

She rolled her eyes. "Lame Styles, real lame." They laughed. 

Harry took Maggie's hand and led her into the house. She looked around at all the dark furniture and tall ceilings. This was an LA bachelor pad for sure. There was seemingly nothing personal on the walls or surrounding shelves. 

"I feel you judging me. I was 20 when I bought this place." He said a little self-consciously. "And I know it isn’t homey and warm like your place. I just don’t spend enough time here for that.”

"I'm not judging you. Stop being such a weirdo." She laughed. 

"How about I make us those drinks? Then we can go out by the pool?" 

"I'm in." Maggie followed Harry to the kitchen. 

Harry fussed around making drinks in an oversized frozen margarita maker. Maggie stepped out of her heels. She laid her Chanel bag on the stool of the kitchen island.  

"Salted rim?" He asked, looking over as she shimmied out of her black tights. 

Maggie sighed relief as she was freed. "Yes please. Sorry I have been dying to take those off." 

"Get comfortable. No worries." Harry salted both glasses and poured the drinks. 

Maggie slipped her dress off and put it on the back of the chair. She stood clad in her white boy shorts and matching bra. "I mean I can't wear tweed by the pool." She shrugged accepting the drink. 

Harry swallowed hard. Then he pulled his t-shirt off and then quickly shucked off his jeans. Now he stood in his black boxer briefs. His palms itched with want to touch her.  Maggie let her eyes wander freely. 

"You lead the way."  Her tongue slowly licked a spot of the salt and then sipped the cold margarita. His memory of her tongue on him last night still fresh. His pulse quickened. 

He turned and pushed the large wall of glass doors open. 

They made themselves comfortable on a double wide chaise. Maggie leaned back facing the pool. Harry faced her with his legs crossed in front of him pretzel style.

'What sort of torture devices were you wearing?" He asked, looking at the red angry creases in her feet. 

She smiled looking down.  "Very expensive ones. They're ok."  Harry pulled her foot into his lap and began to gently massage. Maggie's eyes fluttered and she bit down on her bottom lip. 

"Better?" He asked. 

"Are you bad at anything?" 

He thought. 'So many things.’ Instead he laughed and kissed the pad of her foot. Then he started on the second foot. 

Maggie slowly sipped the margarita and watched Harry. Her body was on fire. Normally she wouldn't see someone twice and even so never two days in a row. 

Once Harry kissed the second foot she put her drink down. Then rolled off the chaise and onto her feet. His eyes followed her as she walked to the pool and gracefully dove in. 

He took that as his cue to follow her. Harry was not quite as graceful but he launched his long body in.  Making a splash he heard Maggie laugh. It was a lovely sound.  Before he had blinked all the water from his eyes he felt her legs wrap around his middle. 

Maggie pressed her lips to his. He parted them to allow her tongue entry. He had wanted to kiss her from the moment he picked her up today.  He wrapped an arm around her waist and gently pulled her in by the back of her neck. She smiled against his lips. 

Looking down at her now sheer bra and seeing her pink nipples stand at attention made him instantly hard.  Maggie pushed his wet hair back. Her hands slipped down and laid loosely around his neck. 

"Thank you for coming to pick me up." 

"Well thank you for coming over. If I'm honest I was nervous to call. We didn't really establish any ground rules this morning." 

"Ground rules? I think you should know I'm not incredibly fond of rules. I like organization and order. Rules not so much."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Oh a bad girl, a rule breaker." He let his hands run down her back and squeeze her perfect ass. 

Maggie let out a surprised squeal. "I'm not sure I'm quite a badass. Just not a fan of rules. What sort of ground rules are we talking about?" 

"I guess I just meant when I left this morning we didn't establish if that was a one time thing,  if I should call you or you should call me." 

"Yeah that. This morning I was so focused on the meeting I was going to. I'm happy you called.  I had fun last night." She smiled as she tangled her fingers in the back of his hair. 

"You are very easy to have fun with." 

"So are you. So let's not overthink it."  Maggie leaned back into the water to get her hair wet. Harry quietly groaned at the sight of her nipples straining against the sheer white bra. "How about one ground rule?"  

"I'm listening." 

"We can call or text whenever we want but no pressure. Busy? Not feeling it? No problems. Keep it casual." 

"You have yourself a deal. Should we shake on it?" 

Maggie shook her head. "I don't want to shake your hand. I want you to take me inside and fuck me." She said boldly in his ear thanks to tequila. 

Harry moved swiftly with Maggie still around him to get to the pool stairs. He kissed her one last time before they untangled themselves. Maggie took the hand he offered her as they rushed toward the house. 

More than three orgasms later Harry was letting his hands freely roam Maggie’s body in his post-coital bliss. 

“What happened here? Appendix?” Harry asked. He let his finger linger over a small white scar on her lower pelvis as he kissed her shoulder.  He was propped up on his elbow, legs tangled with hers. Maggie gave him a small smile. 

“Uh no. I had a tummy tuck and up here if you look close enough you can see where my arms were done. After I lost all of that weight I just had too much loose skin. Needed a little surgical help.” She shrugged it off.

“I’m sorry that was rude of me. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t know.” He stuttered, turning a bit red with embarrassment. 

“It’s ok. You didn’t know I was fat or I had cosmetic surgery? Everyone knows I used to be fat. You are a shit google searcher if you completely missed my fat pictures. I mean no matter how many photos are taken of you and your abs in your bikini people will always put them side by side with your fat photos.” 

Maggie reached for the sheets and pulled them up a bit self conscious. Harry pulled her in closer by the waist. He leaned in and kissed her mouth as he gently pulled the sheet back. 

“Don’t do that. I’m sorry I didn’t know. I’m not trying to embarass or hurt you.”

“Honestly it’s who I am. It’s part of my story.  I just thought you knew.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Harry asked unsure if he should drop the topic or not. 

“Not much to talk about. I used to be fat and now I’m not. It isn’t that deep.” Lies. Liar. It’s deep. Really fucking deep. You are never getting close enough for that buddy. 

He nodded sensing he should leave this alone for now. “Would you object to a shower together and a snack?”

Maggie leaned up and captured his lips between hers. She cocked an eyebrow when she asked, “What sort of snack are we talking about?”

Harry’s tongue trailed down her body until it reached the scar. He marked her there and then soothed it with his tongue. He made his short descent down between her thighs. “Well I actually know what I want first.”