#and now we're doing taxes n shit

[coelacat]

the three ways to make me INSTANTLY dislike you:

unironically call an animal (or any living thing rly) "useless" because if it exists there is inherently use for it. thats how evolution works dumbass

"art is dead"/"theres no good art anymore"/i dislike modern art"/"i could paint/write/sculpt that"/any variation of some bullshit about how any sort of art is lesser than another

"i think anyone who believes in religion is stupid and should be embarrassed" and im especially deadass about this one. it puts you in such a bad mindset its not even funny. you can hate bigots all you want and the way bigotry may intersect with religion is always an interesting study but. genuinely. if you hate religion AS A WHOLE for just. like. being a reflection of a population. i think you seriously need to get your head checked.

[astonmartinii]

witchy business | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: reader x oscar piastri

oscar's gf is a lil kooky but she puts solstice to good use and mainfests some luck for her bf

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 31,094 others

yourusername: you're not really sisters if you've never done a ritual together ...

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user1 she's so mother

user2 i can't wrap my head around how her and oscar came to be but i love it

oscarpiastri don't have too much fun without me :(

yourusername tell your team to take out the no ritual clause from your contract i swear they're safe landonorris i heard your latin once IT IS NOT SAFE yourusername falsehoods !!

user3 does this girl have a job or is she just cosplaying ahs coven full time

yourusername i'm a florist, do you want my social security number and tax returns too?

danielricciardo any way you could like turn me into a real honey badger for a couple hours that sounds fun?

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 490,568 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: some time off well spent with my love

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user10 i am once again asking - how did this happen?

user11 it's actually a really cute story they apparently went to school together and she still does a weekly bouquet for his mum and grandma. they're og sweethearts all that opposites attract jazz

landonorris don't even get a photo credit with all the trauma i experienced for that pic

oscarpiastri bro you barged into my room and took a photo? landonorris i didn't see any sock on the door oscarpiastri it was my own house?

yourusername i love every moment together with you

oscarpiastri that sentiment goes both ways xx user12 god i am so alone

f1teaandgossip

liked by 14,098 others

f1teaandgossip: with lando and oscar being reported as frustrated, how long do you think it'll be until they're linked with moves elsewhere and do you think the updates will improve the car?

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user15 they don't deserve this

user16 i don't wanna be that person but this is karma for what they did to daniel

user17 i honestly think magic might be our only chance

user18 @yourusername pls work some magic

yourusername on it 🫡 user19 now that's my favourite wag

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 58,451 others

yourusername: the full moon is here and i'm bringing some luck to my baby

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user20 mother is here to save the day i know that's right

landonorris if this works i'll never say you're scary ever again

yourusername *when it works have some faith in the moon lando landonorris yeah i don't think i wanna mess with the moon

user21 that moment when the mcl60 is so bad that you start to believe in witchcraft

oscarpiastri i love you so much (p.s. thank you to the girls as well, i'll cover the next candle order)

yourusername i love you too honey - we're rooting for you yourbff1 we love you oscar yourbff2 i don't understand your sport but i love the wages cause candles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

charles_leclerc so are you adept in curses? asking for a friend....

maxverstappen1 sure. yourusername i don't (but i can give you a good luck crystal) charles_leclerc i'll take anything at this point

mclaren

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 808,458 others

mclaren: WOOOOOOOOOOOO WE TAKE A 2 - 3 FINISH IN HUNGARY 🇭🇺 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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user26 i am bamboozled

user27 so .... it worked?

landonorris i have never said a bad word about y/n's hobby NEVER I LOVE YOU Y/N AND I LOVE THE MOON

oscarpiastri she's still MY girlfriend mate landonorris i am aware i am merely stating my appreciation for her

user28 i know the team just finally got their shit together... but YAAAAS WITCH SLAY

yourusername so so happy for you guys

oscarpiastri i love you so so so so much xxxxxxxx

user29 y/n is my driver of the day

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 68,349 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: i love you so. forever proud.

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user31 fave couple FOR REAL

landonorris fine yall are so cute

oscarpiastri finally, only took a few months

user32 i need something like this in my life

oscarpiastri i love you more.

yourusername anything for you. even asking the moon for help with cars.

danielricciardo once again i am asking to be turned into a real honey badger for a couple hours

maxverstappen1 i think it's time to give up danny

note: idk what this is but lol i had fun - i shall get to the requests next, hope you enjoy !!!

[ronance4everbrainrot]

GLAAAASSSSSHEAAAART INCORRECT QUOTESSSSSS. because I missed them (long?)

(and other ships)

Red: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Chloe: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

(Fight of our lives basically)

---

Red: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Mal: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Chloe.

Red, pointing their hot glue gun towards Mal: You’re on thin fucking ice.

(canon)

-now Chloe and her Mentor-

Chloe: How do I make a date really romantic?

Evie: Be mysterious.

Chloe: Okay!

*later, while on a date with Red*

Red: So where are we going?

Chloe: None of your fucking business.

(Red teases her about it on their next dates)

---

Mal: Evie, I know you love Chloe. I mean, we all do, they’re a very nice person and I respect them immensely.

Mal: But I think they might be a fucking idiot.

(she's the smartest dumbass. or dumbest smartass?)

---

Red: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?

Chloe: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.

Chloe: Would you like me to tutor you?

Evie: That was smooth.

(Evie is proud. Mal is losing 20 bucks. why? Bet)

---

Red: Do you want to know your gay name?

Chloe: My... my gay name?

Red: Yeah, it's your first name-

Chloe: Haha. Very funny Red-

Red: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Chloe: Oh- oh my god.

(Mal, proud: Now that was smooth)

---

Mal: Why are you guys acting like this?

Red: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

(sigh)

---

Evie: Mal? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry?

Mal: Evie, I swear to god—

(Evie. Stop doing that. You need sleep don't overwork yourself. I love her Qvq)

---

Kidnapper: I have your partner.

Mal: What? I don't have a partner...

Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?

Mal: Oh my god, you have Evie.

(the good old Isle days)

---

Celia : I am a ninja.

Mal: No, you’re not.

Celia : Did you see me do that?

Mal: Do what?

Celia : Exactly.

(canon)

---

Mal: Hey, can you do me a favor?

Celia : Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this.

Mal: You don’t even have a legitimate reason?

Celia : Oh, no, I do.

Mal: Well, what is it?

Celia : You see, I simply don’t give a fuck.

(she loves to annoy Mal. Little annoying sister. Canon)

---

Celia: We’ve found the person who stole your identity and was impersonating you.

Dizzy: Where were they?

Celia: Eating cheetos and crying in their car.

Dizzy, impressed: Damn, they really went for it.

(it was Uma, wasn't it? That's literally canon XD)

---

Celia: Here comes the lightning!

Celia, whispering: You've got to imagine it coming out my fingertips, wherein I am an almighty wizard.

Dizzy: Ok, currently imagining that. Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all.

(and they were roommates, your Honor) (wow they were roommates) (The bestest of friends)

---

Red: N... No!

Celia: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint: Y... Yes???

(Red is trying to deny her crush on Chloe. Ha.)

---

Dizzy: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Dizzy is such a nice person, Dizzy is so happy-go-lucky! Dizzy can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Dizzy CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Dizzy IS be in a bad mood.

(Yas Queen. Queen of Mean? So last season. Queen of Bad Mood? So in!)

---

Mal: You tricked me!

Audrey: I deceived you. ‘Trick’ makes it sound like we have a friendly relationship.

(Maybe Queen of Mean isn't so last season.)

---

Dizzy: Comparing Audrey and Mal is like comparing apples and oranges.

Mal: We’re both unique in our own ways?

Dizzy: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

Audrey: Which one of us is the orange? (It's me, isn't it?)

(Damn Dizzy. Queen of Bad Mood taking the lead)

---

*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*

Chloe: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer?

Evie: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine.

Red: What about Dizzy? Nobody ever suspects Dizzy!

Dizzy: Well what about Audrey? They have a gun!

Audrey: Celia has a knife.

Celia : Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Red in the arm*

(where is Uma? oh-. I bet it was Audrey. How else do you show you love someone? They are having their Killing Eve moment)

---

Audrey: You’re such a dumbass (affectionate).

Uma: Aww, you’re such a whore (complimentary).

Mal: How are you talking like that in real life?

Uma: Witchcraft (derogatory).

(canon. They late/hove each other)

---

Dizzy, talking about Evie: They're trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, joke’s on them! I’ve never been secure in my life! And I’m not about to start now!

(before Evie got through to her on the Isle 🥲)

---

Mal: *running towards Celia with open arms*

Celia: *moves out of the way*

Mal: Hey, why'd you move?!

Celia: I thought you were going to attack me.

Mal: I was going to hug you!

Celia: Why would you hug me?

Mal: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

(OOF. Lol)

---

Celia : I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.

(yuh)

---

Mal: Wow, this sucks. I’m gonna kill *remembers that suicide jokes only worsen your mental health and that the first step to healing is stopping* you.

(she's getting there. Go queen)

-will add more of the boys in the next one-

Carlos: Are you laughing at that video of Ben and Harry fighting?

Jay: No.

Jay: I'm laughing at the comments.

(the comments saying "Ha! Gaaaay" etc.)

---

Carlos: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Jay. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Jay!

Gil: Nope.

Carlos: In that case, as the archbishop of Gil's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Jay right on the lips!!!

(Damn Carlos. Yes. Thanks for helping Gil. Everyone needs Carlos as a best friend)

---

Harry: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Jay without them noticing?

Gil: Hey, Jay, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

Jay: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.

Harry: ...

(same Harry, same. But then again not that surprised)

---

Now this is for @corgiplays for context here

Chloe: Earl, I sense hostility.

Earl: Good, because I hate you.

(accurate?)

---

Earl, entering the room: *Sees Chloe and leaves*

Chloe, watching Earl leave: There’s my monthly dose of the Cat…

(Earl didn't leave before pushing one of Chloe's things tho)

---

Chloe: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Red: For the dogs.

Chloe: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Red: They don't know how.

(I want Red to be able to cook lol. That can't even be a headcanon tho, that has to be an AU lol)

---

Earl: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.

Biscuit: ...what happened?

Earl: I made a VERY bad mistake.

(Oof)

---

Biscuit: Don’t be sad!

Red: Why not?

Biscuit:

Biscuit: I don’t have a good answer.

(Red acts like she can understand him. Imagine his responses lol. But she basically can)

---

Chloe: When I first met you, I did not like you.

Earl: I'm aware of that.

Chloe: But then you and I had some time together.

Earl: Uh-huh?

Chloe: It did not get better.

(It did. Stop lying. Also Chloe does the same thing as Red. I mean honestly who doesn't talk to their little furry friends.)

---

Red: You don't know anything about me!

Biscuit: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

(Damn. If Red could actually understand him she'd be flabbergasted)

--and just because I love it so much. Here is that one again

Chloe, gently nudging Earl aside with their foot: Earl, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you.

Earl, her eyes enormous: You kick Cat? You kick their body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Chloe! Jail for Chloe for one thousand years!

(she is purposely laying in the way tho. And then acts like Chloe hurt her when Red hears her distressed meows)

---

That's it

Hope you liked it.

Byeeee

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

What To Get A 19 Year Old Boy For His Birthday...

Pairing: Platonic! Peter Parker & Reader; Reader x Bucky (but that's not really plot relevant)

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none as usual, you yell at Strange lol

Genre: super fluff

Summary: You happen to be the only person who still remembers Peter Parker exists and you are not about to hang him out to dry. So what happens when you take Peter in and basically become his guardian? Well- nothing is simple where super-teens are involved, but you and Peter can certainly handle whatever comes your way. Right?

***

You from to yourself, feeling like you're forgetting something even though you're just watching TV with Bucky. There's nothing to forget that you can-

"Oh shit-" You gasp sitting up suddenly. Bucky grabs the remote and turns the volume down.

"What?" He frowns shifting to look at you.

"I just realized Peter's birthday's next week and I haven't even thought of what to get him or what to do or-"

"Take a breath y/n. You still have a week." Bucky reminds you with a hand on your shoulder.

"What do I get a nineteen year old boy for his birthday?" You turn to him.

"Why are you asking me?" He blinks.

"You're a guy!"

"I'm a hundred and seven?! I haven't been nineteen in like eighty years, do you really think I would have any idea what a modern teen would want? I can guarantee my interests at nineteen were far different." He scoffs.

"Well what did you want at nineteen?" You ask.

"To avoid another world war?" He shrugs and your mouth drops open.

"I can't fucking stand you." You laugh shoving him lightly.

"Oh come on, how could I resist?!"

"You're so irritating! Be serious." You say fighting giggles.

"Alright, alright, what's the kid interested in?"

"I dunno, comic books, video games, nerdy stuff?" You shrug.

"I've never seen him play video games before." Bucky frowns.

"He plays them on his computer."

"He doesn't have a gaming system of some sort?"

"No?"

"Do you own one?"

"No."

"So get him one of those and a couple of games." Bucky shrugs.

"That's a great idea! And you said you wouldn't know what to get him." You smile.

"I'm sure you could've figured that out."

"You'll come shopping with me won't you? I have no idea what games to get for him honestly."

"How about you take care of the system and I'll worry about the games. Split the cost of this birthday thing."

"What do you mean you're going to worry about the games?" You frown.

"Just trust me. How much is the system anyway?"

"Probably three, maybe four hundred dollars. Depends."

"Sheesh. That's- pricier than I expected honestly." He hums.

"Yeah they can get pretty up there." You shrug.

"Alright then if you buy the system I'll take the kid out and get him an equivalent in games."

"You really wanna spend $600 on his birthday?" You blink.

"I mean he's lost his entire family and he never goes anywhere or talks of friends, we're probably the only people he's going��to get gifts from. We can take some of the money from the Stark account." Bucky says. When Tony died there were a couple of accounts set up in your name to take over Avengers related expenses. One to be used for the team's avenging related tasks and one to help the team with personal affects- mostly Thor since he'll likely never have a job here but he's not here that much these days anyway.

"I don't want to get into the habit of using that money, in case of an emergency." You say.

"Baby, you're a witch and I'm a super soldier I can't imagine there will be many emergencies where that money is our only solution. Stark died and we ended up with enough money to change our tax bracket. Six hundred dollars would hardly make a dent and if ever we're in a situation where we do have to use that money for an emergency and we find ourselves $600 short I'm sure neither of us will look back and say 'if only we hadn't given that kid we're responsible for a great birthday gift he loved'." Bucky says.

"Very well, we'll use the Stark account and do it big for him." You say.

"There- now you can stop panicking about his birthday." Bucky pulls you back into his side and turns the volume back up on the TV. You don't point out to Bucky how it seems he's bonded with Peter a bit. At least to some degree since he's suddenly advocating for a big birthday gift for him. You know he'll deny it if you bring it up so you simply smile to yourself at the thought and settle back into his chest. You'll head to the store tomorrow to pick up a console and some birthday supplies.

*~*~*

"Bucky can you grab the candles from the bedroom please baby? They should be in the bag on my desk." You shout while carefully removing the plastic covering from Peter's birthday cake.

"On it!" Bucky calls back from the living room. Moments later, he hands you the opened candles.

"Thank you for opening them." You kiss his cheek and carefully stick the 1 and 9 on the cake without disturbing the Happy Birthday Peter written in blue frosting.

"How long do you think it'll take him to come back?" Bucky asks.

"I only asked him to get some salt, he should be opening the door any minute now." You shrug. "Do you think he suspects anything?"

"Nah, I'll bet when you didn't wish him happy birthday this morning or make anything special for breakfast that he assumed we didn't know or weren't going to make a big deal about it."

"Oh- I hope he's not moping through the streets thinking we forgot." You frown.

"I mean I don't-" Bucky stops suddenly. "He's coming down the hall, light the candles." He tells you. You grab the lighter and quickly light the candles, lifting the cake just as the handle turns.

"Hey. Got the salt you asked for-"

"Happy Birthday Peter!!" You shout when he enters the kitchen.

"Happy birthday kid." Bucky nods.

"You remembered my birthday?"

"Of course I did sweetie! Make a wish." You walk the cake over to him and hold it out for him to blow out the candles. He looks between you and Bucky a couple of times before closing his eyes and blowing out the candles quickly.

"Yay!" You say setting the cake on the counter.

"Thanks guys- I- I kinda thought you'd miss it."

"Nonsense! How could I? Oh and before I forget, your gift." You float the prettily wrapped box from behind the island, into the Peter's hands.

"What is it?"

"You know the point of wrapping a gift is for you to unwrap it in order to find out what's in it." Bucky tells him.

"I know- but I thought maybe you'd tell me anyway." Peter shrugs.

"No way! That ruins the surprise! Open it." You clap excitedly.

"Alright alright." Peter says. He quickly tears off the wrapping paper and his mouth drops open when he fully reveals the box. "You got me an Xbox?" His voice is full of disbelief but you can't say for sure if that's good or not.

"Do you like it?" You ask.

"A-are you kidding?! This is like the best gift I've ever gotten!" Peter says throwing his arms around you. You hug him back relieved that the gift was a success.

"I'm glad! Bucky and I had no idea what to get you." You chuckle.

"You did great." He says.

"This is only the first half of the gift technically. A console needs games, so I'm taking you out to buy some." Bucky adds.

"No way- you don't have to this is already plenty I-I mean these things aren't cheap I don't wanna take advantage of-"

"It's not a question kid, we're going. After lunch." Bucky cuts him off.

"Really? Today?" Peter blinks at him.

"You wanna be able to set that thing up or not?"

"We'll go after lunch." Peter nods. "Are you coming with us y/n?"

"I can't hon I've got some errands to run." You say.

"I hoped we'd all be together for my birthday."

"Don't worry, we'll all be back for dinner together."

"Oh, okay, that's fine then."

He's probably nervous about spending extended time alone with Bucky but you think it'll be good for them to find common ground that's not contingent on you. Obviously, they're capable of coordinating if your anniversary is any indicator. You want to give them the chance to build on that.

In the meanwhile, you have something of equal importance to take care of. You push open the heavy doors to Stephen Strange's lair. He doesn't call it that, and he rather hates it when you do, but that's basically what it is.

"Strange!" You shout.

"Y/n! Hello, to what do I owe this visit?" He asks floating down to meet you. You walk up to him and smack your palm against his forehead. "I guess this isn't a friendly visit then." He hisses rubbing his forehead.

"Not quite." You roll your eyes. A quick succession of hand gestures completes the spell that unlocks Stephen's memories of Peter. He takes a sharp breath as his memories return.

"You know- there are less painful ways do that spell." He says after a moment.

"There are also more painful ways to do that spell be glad I just tapped your forehead." You say.

"Tapped is a bit of an understatement, don't you think?"

"I wanted to beat your ass. Count your blessings I didn't come in here and do that."

"I assume this is about Peter, then?" Stephen sighs.

"Help me with the math here, a 17-year-old comes to you and says 'I want to alter reality' and you don't consider- not doing that?"

"Well hang on I definitely warned him it was a bad idea but he was insistent that it was ruining his life."

"Dude he was 17. A 17 year old will think the world is ending because his best friend moves away before senior year of high school. Granted he's dealt with some pretty intense adult troubles but he's still just a kid and you're like pushing 50 he isn't the responsible party in that situation." You say.

"Watch it, pushing 50 is an exaggeration." Stephen points.

"Not. The point. You altered the very fabric of time and space not once, but twice at the behest of a child."

"It wouldn't have been twice if he hadn't totally screwed up the first one."

"You're the sorcerer not him. It was your spell. Your responsibility." You say.

"Hey he kept adding caveats in the middle of my casting and magic is tricky enough as is without that."

"I know how tricky magic is, which is why I wouldn't have an untrained teenager be part of casting a spell of that magnitude in the first place! It was a bad decision on your part and in the end you got to walk away as if it never even happened. And that might be even more egregious, you completely abandoned the kid after all that chaos."

"Well not completely, I knew the probability of you being unaffected by the spell and thus stepping in was almost 100%."

"Almost 100 isn't 100 and that's still abandoning. The moment you decided to do that spell for him you took on a responsibility." You say.

"So what was I supposed to do? Simply take him in?" He scoffs.

"Well when you take away his entire support system with a spell that is the least you can do Strange."

"He knew the consequences, and it all worked out fine. He's got you now." He shrugs.

"I wonder if you just don't hear yourself speak or if you truly struggle with emotional intelligence so severely." You take a moment to really look at him as if the answer will come to you if you stare at him for long enough. "Whatever, I didn't come here just to yell at you."

"Really? I couldn't have guessed that."

"Today is Peter's birthday. I came to fix your memories so you could send him a birthday card." You say.

"Why would I do that?" He frowns.

"Because your botched spell resulted in the death of his only remaining living relative? We're all he's got."

"Hey I fixed that situation to the best of my ability."

"And it didn't bring his aunt back. It also cost him every relationship he's ever developed. Send him a damn card. Today." You spin around and walk back towards the door. "Be glad I won't drop him on your doorstep. He doesn't deserve that punishment." You scoff, waving the doors open and heading back towards your own apartment to get started on dinner. 

"So how did game shopping go?" You ask Bucky and Peter once you're all sat eating dinner.

"Oh we got way more than I would've expected. Mr. Bucky was overly generous I just hope it's clear how greatful I am."

"You've thanked me at least 10 times in the last hour. You've been more than clear kid. It's your birthday so you can stop now."

"I'm glad you had a nice time." You chuckle.

"What did you get up to while we were out baby?" Bucky asks.

"Just some errands nothing interesting." You shrug.

"Nothing interesting?" He raises an eyebrow.

"A little of this a little of that. My to-do list never ends really. Some shopping, I hit the bank, made some visits. You know how it goes."

"I dunno about you but that sounds rather suspicious to me Peter." Bucky turns to him.

"Definitely." Peter nods.

"I clearly made a mistake letting you two spend the afternoon together." You roll your eyes grabbing yours and Peter's now empty plates.

"We will discover your secrets y/n." Bucky warns.

"Good luck with that." You chuckle kissing Bucky's temple before walking the dishes over to the sink.

"Oh no you don't, you cooked, I'll do the dishes." Bucky wraps his hands around your waist and moves you from in front of the sink.

"Fine fine, Petey you want help setting up your Xbox then?" You ask.

"Sure! Is it okay to set it up in my room?"

"Of course it is. It's your thing. Plus if you end up playing all day long I don't want you taking over my living room." You tap his shoulder.

"Cool." He chuckles.

It doesn't take you long to set up the system in his room, it's just a matter of plugging in it and then the rest is for him to do on his own, make an account and such. You're just about to leave his room when a small portal appears in front of him.

"Peter. Happy birthday." Strange says reaching through with a card. You hold back a smile as Peter takes the card with obvious shock on his face.

"T-thanks Mr. Strange." Peter says. Stephen nods and closes the portal without another word.

"I didn't think he remembered me." Peter blinks at you.

"The world works in mysterious was huh." You ruffle Peter's hair. "I'll leave you to get used to your new toy." You add before exiting his room and joining Buckyin the living room.

"Okay, so where did you go today? Really?"

"Honestly I had to go yell at Strange for some magic related things." You say.

"What did he do?"

"It's complicated. Let's just say it'll be a while before I leave our timeline in his hands if ever again." You muse.

"Ah is that why you didn't bring it up at dinner? So the kid doesn't ask about Strange?"

"Yeah basically." You shrug. You're sure Bucky means in terms of Peter not knowing that you're an Avenger or whatever but seeing as you can't explain the real reason you didn't want to talk about it at dinner you see no reason to correct him at the moment. Eventually you'll give him all the details, but today has been good for all of you, you'd like to end on a high.

***

Tagged Users: @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @buchi91

[kira-fluff]

….. can you please do “sleep with no pants” for our birthday boy kita shinsuke??? …… and make it extra spicy?? 🥹

a/n: oh. my. god. YES. i could commit tax fraud and embezzlement if he asked me to. of course. yes. yes. also, I have high alcohol tolerance so I'm not really sure how much is too much...

drunken mistakes | kita shinsuke

pairing: kita shinsuke x reader yes, this is a continuation on "sleeping with no pants on" but I decided to make it longer/special for some reason. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITA!!! tw: fem!reader, alcohol misusage (drunkness), swearing, mutual pining, grinding, nsfw, dom!reader, sub!kita pt 1 pt 2 pt 3

it was only supposed to be one drink. that's what you'd told yourself at the beginning of the night, but you would be lying if you said you stuck to what your convictions very often. for example, you told yourself not to fall for your best friend, kita. and yet here you are, drunk and in love. anyone looking at you around your friend's apartment could see the misery on your face. they turned to each other, speaking in low voices as if you couldn't notice because you were too far gone. well, you weren't. and you knew now that they knew you're downing your eleventh shot of casamigos because of something other than "for the vibes". honestly, your facial expression probably gave it away, too, with the lame, pouty lip and mopey eyes. the thoughts and conversations surrounding you only made you yearn for another glass of something to dim the sound of your increasing heartbeat. reaching for the bottle of tequila, your eyes met with the last person you ever hoped to see that night.

fuck, and why was he checking his phone like he'd received an invite? you swore in your muddled mind you'd wring the neck of whichever piece of shit thought it would be a good idea to invite your best friend despite all of them knowing (at least, now) that you are head over heels in love with him. you cursed as he took immediate notice of you. kita.

kita

to be quite honest, I don't care much for parties or really any celebration that involves an exuberant use of alcohol. ever since high school, in fact, I'd done my very best to avoid them rather than allow myself to get sucked into caring for vomiting, regretful teens (or adults, if we're speaking in the now). still, when I'd received a text saying that she was wasted and needed a ride who could take good care of her, I already was putting on my coat and shoes, as if I wasn't awoken to my phone vibrating numerous times at 2am. I can't help it. whenever it comes to her, there's nothing I wouldn't do to get a chance to even be around her. she's my best friend, so it's not like it's a mutual thing. just me being an idiot and getting sucked into those eyes of hers. the way she looks at me. the way she smiles. it were those thoughts and memories that had me sliding into my seat at 2:15 and on my way to one of her good friends' house. when I arrived at the address and walked through the entrance, my first instinct was the text once again to find where she was at that current moment. it was a need. I needed to know she was safe. that she wasn't crying or confused or sick. my skin prickled as I felt a pair of sharp eyes on me. I lifted up my head to see two languid pupils blinking slowly at me, lips downturned and mopey.

you blinked slowly up at him. "so," you hiccuped, "you're here kita." his brows furrowed at you. you grimaced. you knew he wasn't much for alcohol, but a more rebellious part of you thought he deserved to suck it because you didn't even want him here anyway. "mm...kita...." you trailed off, unsure where you were planning to take the start of your sentence. "mm?" kita replied quietly, patiently (like he always was). "'m startin' to think I'll die single." he let out a little scoff, "stop being silly. you're drunk. go to bed." you pouted, "but no one wants to go to bed with me." he flushed, thankfully it seemed you were too drunk to notice, and asked, "how many people have you been going around asking to sleep with?" you grinned at him, "just you." kita swallowed down the words does that mean you want to sleep with me? and instead opted for a choked "ok". you leaned closer. "hey kita...? since I'm drunk..." you ran a finger up his arm. he raised an eyebrow, waiting for you to go on. "since 'm drunk, I was wonderin' if you'd indulge me for a little while..." you said, the last syllables of your sentence coming out in a sigh. "what're you-" the next sound that came from kita's throat was a moan as you lifted your thighs up and placed their plush, softness on his hard, toned ones. you leaned in, whispering in his ear, "j-just.... for a while.... b-but stop me if..." you breathed many of your words in but fuck, he didn't want you to put an end to what he'd literally been dreaming of for so long. you then began your slow, languid pace of rolling your hips against his thighs. at this point, you weren't sure what was real and what was fake... but you knew you were dreaming. but there was no way in real life his thighs were that fucking hard. scratch that, you must be in heaven, because the little pants you're hearing from him are more than you could've ever asked for. his quiet "ah"s made your drunken rhythm turn faster, causing you to snap your hips and begin to roll them against his groin, eliciting a sharp groan from his mouth. "a-ahh... w-we sh-shouldn't..." you licked a stripe up the column of his neck, shutting him up. next, you made your way to the hem of your shirt, pulling at the fabric, all whilst rolling your hips against him. in a few seconds, all that was on was a shear bralette - lingerie, of course - and all that was below. kita took inhaled a sharp breath. he was already rock hard and he had no idea what he was supposed to do other than let you have your way with him. he swore he wouldn't do anything in return. you were drunk... but he couldn't bring himself to pull you off of him. he was enjoying it all too much. he blushed again, but this time in shame. he was disgusting, getting off on your drunken mistake. suddenly, you got off of him, leaving him in a strong feeling of want. he could still feel the ghost of your thighs on his legs. but then you reached for his arm lazily, dragging him over to a bedroom. you weren't sure whose it was, just that you wanted to have your way with your best friend, just for a little while, in this lovely dream. he was so compliant. his reactions were better than you hoped for, and you were living for it.

pushing him onto the bed, he let out a grunt of surprise. "you know... I go to sleep without my pants on every night... but tonight I just might not wear anything..." kita swallowed thickly, unable to stop himself from imagining your nude form in all its glory, riding his cock. he distantly wondered if you knew what you were doing. you had something in your eyes besides that heady lust and drunkenness that had him questioning something... that maybe, just for a second, there was something there like attraction... like love. slowly, you slid your panties down, exposing your naked cunt. kita took another sharp breath at the sight of you. then, you began to go at taking his own pants off. slowly, you rubbed your hands against his erection, eliciting a groan from him, and reached for his button. unclasping it, you moved onto his zipper, slowly - painfully - moving it down. when his cock sprung free, you gasped at its size. you were shocked that something so big and thick could be hiding in his pants that now seemed entirely in the way. so, you pulled them down, now angling yourself, your entrance and the head of his cock. you both let out a groan when you sunk yourself down onto him.

kita awoke to you in his arms, naked, and his dick pressed hard against your ass. guilt washed over him again, and he wondered whether he should take his chance to escape before you could wake up and yell at him. thankfully, nothing you did was something he'd forced upon you... he had merely let you do what you wanted to him. when you moaned his name last night he thought he might lose his mind. he leaned forward, careful not to stir you awake, and kissed the top of your head. maybe you would wake up, and instead of horror... just maybe, you'd blush.. and he could tell you how much he loved you, and not just because of what you did last night. it was wishful thinking, but maybe, just maybe, you felt the same way he did.

[br1ghtestlight]

getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING

love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!

you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family

bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(

gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake

see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up

he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely

because I'm stuck in a safe 😐

AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????

teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now

unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice

"gene was doing homework?? that's new"

WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE

"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"

also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally

louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain

miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!

has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao

bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr

I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies

also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen

OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan

WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM

i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr

your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/

you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT

I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy

WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔

aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)

SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯

sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM

gene STOP calling him father

bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever

h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work

cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️

(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know

there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow

this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB

"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."

"What? You called Mort first?"

"No..."

HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess

MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home

"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh

ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts

GIANT FRENCH FRIES

aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)

[crimbabyops]

Unknown Story Idea

Here's a DC story idea I had basically a what if romance story where the government decide to lock up the hero's and villain's and basically left Gotham and Metropolis on there own. I don't have a title for it but do let me know if yall like it and I will post the second half.

Warnings: Cheating, cursing, murder, smut, poly relationship, manipulation, toxic, and I think thats it maybe we will see.

Everyday always started the same, Neighbors arguing over the same thing like a broken record. “WHY IS THAT BITCH IN MY BED TYRONE?!” your neighbor Tyrella says. “YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD ME WE WAS GETTING EVICTED!” the old couple next door says. You never knew their name, not that you didn’t want to, but they were never home, always out on some extravagant cruise. 

Today though something felt different like something new, something out of your broken record life. You were excited for this new change you felt, you just hoped it was a good change. The day was Monday 12:35 pm, you were preparing for another shitty day at the Museum.  Of course it wasn’t a normal museum though, it was the Gotham Museum for the Unnatural and Natural Hero and Villians. 

A showcase to the history of fights, explosion, and our waste of taxes rebuilding a city that’s always breaking and getting robbed. You were around when heroes and villains were loved but then the government decided they were just too expensive to cover for so they made a decision to lock up every hero and villain in Gotham and Metropolis. 

It didn’t change a thing all it did was cause an outrage from people everywhere, riots were constantly happening, murders around every corner and what did the government do. They went after each other, Each one deciding they couldn't do it anymore, leaving everything up to the powerless humans of Gotham and Metropolis. 

We're getting off topic, back to you though, Y/N Y/LN top of your class in the criminal system and psychology. So why are you working at a museum and not in the justice system because right after the government shut down. There wasn't much work for you to do. People used that as an excuse to disband police stations, fire departments, schools, prisons, and etc. 

Except for one place though it wasn’t allowed to close Amanda Waller wouldn’t let it for her reasons being a place to hold her little puppets. She didn’t say that specifically but you could tell that was her reasoning knowing how much she used them especially the Suicide Squad. Her most proud puppets are now sitting in a cell wondering why and for what reason did they trust Amanda. 

You pulled up to work ready for anything it was gonna throw at you except for this. “I’m sorry Y/N we just don’t have enough money to pay you at the current moment.” Your boss says too you with a look of pure fucking lies. You gave him the most straight face ever and said “Cool. When’s my last paycheck?” “That’s it you're not gonna fight for your job or anything?” “Excuse my French but this job only pay my $24 a day. I deal with your scamming ass and these bullshit ass co-workers that’s constantly eating my shit.” you pause looking at Carol currently eating your food right now. 

She slides down her chair eating your homemade spicy chicken ramen. That took you 24 hours to make. “So excuse me if i feel like i have all right to say fuck this job oh and also your wife knows your cheating with greg honey and she also knows your the bottom love we all do.” You leave right after that with a victorious smile on your face. 

Days go by and you're still looking for a job that qualifies with your degree but all you see are low incoming jobs at diners and gas stations. The more you look the more disappointed you are. You give up and just go to bed at that point hoping something pops up. 

Ring ring ring 

Your phone goes off but you're too tired to answer it so you let it ring. It rings a few more times before it stops and goes again. Annoyed by the buzzing on your desk you pick up. “Hi is this Y/N, This Jolene I work for Gothams Mental Hospital of the Criminal Insane and The Society Un-Approved or the G.M.H.C.I.” you cringe at the long name wondering how long it took her to learn that. “Yes Hi, how can I help you at 3 am?”. 

She starts explaining how they saw your resume and if you were available for an interview Wednesday morning around 3:30 pm. You agree and she tells you everything you need before hanging up the call and going to bed getting ready for the interview of the lifetime.

Love, Crim-The-Writer

[brrrkdslek]

CHAPTER 1 ― THE VEIL OF GRIEF

🂱 an event known as 'THE PULSE' occurs worldwide, granting a significant portion of the population extraordinary abilities. you, a grieving mother, encounters a group of boys while seeking refuge. the newfound group navigates a changing society while uncovering the truth behind the pulse.

🂱 ot8 x fem! reader

🂱 thriller, mystery, superhero, action, written

🂱 mentions of rape and death, corrupt government

🂱 1.6k

🂱 EMERGENCE. mlist

THE MACHINE CRACKED AND MADE NOISES as the others sweatdropped. "sir... are you sure about this?" the man groaned and hit the machine a few times, "of course i am! this will bring everything to peace," the man turned to his subordinates, "it's what we've been waiting for. we could save everybody, you know this."

the boy looks down as he hesitated, "but... what if it goes wrong?" the others stiffen but only continue on their work, "what if we end up killing every-" a slap was heard, it echoed through the quiet walls of the underground workspace.

the man grips the boy's hair, "THEN LET THEM DIE! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?" the man's hoarse voice bounced off the walls, "THIS COUNTRY HAS TURNED TO SHIT, EVERYONE WOULD RATHER DIE!" he shoved the boy aside, before regaining his composure. "we're simply doing them a favour."

and what he said was true. in the year 2025, the north and south combined, creating the country as they know now, new korea. the governmental policies in north korea had influenced the south at the time, resulting in the merging of the two countries.

now, everything was strict. you could end up in prison for simple things such as littering, or sleeping on the streets. taxes has risen by 10% bringing 1/8 of koreans in deep debt or on the streets, crimes such as bullying, sexual harassment and even rape could be dismissed if one had connections and or an alibi. the rights and wrongs were all in reverse.

it had gotten so bad that new korea had antagonised lots of neighbouring countries. even almost starting a war with zonguo, the new china. even now, there are zonguo soldiers lined up at the shore, preparing for war any minute. and the same went for new korea.

but still, koreans tried their best to maintain their society as a whole, slowly crumbling from the inside. nowadays, barely any people visited new korea, simply because of their policies and regulations. if one were to even badmouth the governor or make fun of any government related workers, they could be killed.

everything had turned into a blur, including your childhood, which didn't really feel like your childhood. you were raped at 15 and left with a baby girl. despite the circumstances, you kept the baby and raised her with yourself.

you were incredibly thankful for your parents who accepted your daughter with open arms, until they decided to kill her. your heart clenched at the memory; she laid on the living room ground, face pale and eyes dull. you remembered how fake their cries were, how fake their alibi was.

unfortunately for you, they had deep connections with a member of the court, which successfully dismissed the case as suicide. how pathetic was that, suicide? a five year old little girl committing suicide, it brought more tears to your eyes as you wailed loudly, gripped the stuffed bear in your arms tightly.

passerby's shot you concerned looks as you bawled your eyes out, but you didn't care, not when you were grieving. well, you shouldn't be grieving, actually. it's been almost ten years now, but you could never get over it, over her, your daughter.

you stare ahead with blurry eyes and read the inscription of the tomb, 'here lies, l/n sapphire'. you gripped your chest, the feeling of emptiness in your heart was so familiar to you as you've been coming here every single day ever since she passed. everyone seemed to have forgotten about her, but you didn't. how could you? she was your literal daughter.

you could feel a gush of wind pass you and shivered at the feeling, could it have been sapphire? no, y/n stop making yourself feel like this. you are an adult, you are responsible, you can't be sad and ugly all the time.

you sniffled and hiccupped while you grabbed the chocolate donuts from your bag, placing it next to her headstone. "sapphie, hey- uh, it's mommy. i missed you a lot, did you miss me too?" you wiped your swollen eyes with your tissue before blowing into it, "i brought your favourite- i, i hope you're happy up there..." feeling yourself tear up again, you gripped the grass below you, "take care of yourself, okay?"

you checked your watch before reluctantly standing up. despite being in constant grievance, you still worked hard to provide for yourself. picking up the phone as it rang, you coughed before answering, "hello?" "ms. l/n, please come over quickly!" hearing the tremble in your coworker's voice, you began walking quicker.

"jumin, what happened?" "i-i don't know! secretary lim suddenly started screaming and said he's seeing things- oh my god, taejin! are you oka-" the line suddenly cut off. you felt your heartbeat quicken when the line cut off, what happened? you called back as you began jogging to your car, why's the sky turning so blue?

you stopped. why- why is everything so... blue? you turn around and observe every direction of your surroundings, everything seeming a different shade of blue. you saw a man crouched on the ground, clenching his heart as tears cascaded down his face.

"sir! are you okay!?" you crouched down onto the pavement where the man was. he coughed out a sob, bunching his shirt in his hand, "no! i-i feel so sad," he looked up at you with tear-filled eyes, "like something's missing, someone." you held the man steady as the words were too familiar, tears of your own begin to fall. "i feel so empty- but i don't know why..."

his hands fall to the pavement as the grief and sorrow fills his body, making him sob loudly. you tried to stand up, but slipped and scrapped your knee, letting out a small hiss. the blue atmosphere then vanished, leaving you stunned.

the man begins to sniffle, the sadness finally leaving his system as he looks up at you. blood gushing out of your open-wound as you searched in your purse for your packet of tissues. "ah, please let me help." he dug into his pocket and pulls out a few sanitary napkins, dabbing at the wound gently.

you observe the man's face, "are... you okay, now?" he looks up, "ah, yes. i don't know what that was back there," he frowns, "i've... never felt such pain before." you and the man maintain eye contact for a few seconds until you speak, "mr. park?" he perks up at the mention of his name, "yes, how do you know me...?"

the stabbing pain in your chest beings to make itself present again as you smiled apologetically, "you were the doctor who tried to save my sapphire..." his eyes widen as he takes your hands in his immediately, "oh... ms. l/n," he begins tearing up, "i'm... so sorry i couldn't-" "it's fine, really! you did your best, mr. park..."

he caresses your hands gently, "you can call me seonghwa." you smiled gently, "then you can call me y/n." seonghwa shoots back a smile as he goes back to treating your wound. "ah, the blood never seems to stop." he furrows his eyebrows as you watch him work. he holds your leg and squeezes, trying to stop the blood from coming.

instead, your leg tingles with a warm feeling as green sparkles are seen around your wound and his hands, "are... are you seeing this, seonghwa?" he squealed and pulled away, the sparkles disappearing with the warmth. you watch as your wound closes up right then, not even leaving a scar behind.

"oh my god..." you couldn't believe it. you looked up as you and seonghwa shared the same look of 'what the fuck?'. seonghwa looks down at his hands, the green sparkles suddenly coming back, tingling and warming his hands. you two stood up, confused as fuck. quiet for a moment, the cogwheels in your head turn, "wait, if that was you, does that mean the blue thing was... me?"

"but how though, how did you manifest it?" you looked down at your trembling hands, "i-i don't know, it just came when-" "i felt sad, like so damn sad," you share a look as you spoke in unison, "like something's missing." your eyes widen, "it's my sadness?" seonghwa holds your hands in his, "just to be sure, you should try." "but how? i-i don't even know how i-" "just feel, that was what i did too."

you nodded. looking down, you let the sadness and pain of the past take over you again, bringing tears to your eyes yet again. seonghwa watched as a blue dot became visible at your chest, suddenly expanding when a tear slipped from your right eye. his knees buckled at the painful feeling, a tear also leaving his right eye.

as he collapses onto the ground, you crouch down to comfort the man. "ah! i-i'm so sorry, seonghwa!" as the words left your mouth, the blue atmosphere and feeling vanishes again, proving the theory.

he wipes the tear, "i'm alright, but it means that we both have...powers." you stiffen at his words, "but how come...? and why just us?" "maybe there's more people like us, but i can't be sure..." he rubs your shoulder, "for now, we have to keep this a secret, especially with the near war with zonguo." you nodded, "you still have my number right? we should discuss this sooner." "yeah i do," suddenly his phone rings, "shit, i gotta go back to work!"

you bid him goodbye as he begins to sprint in the opposite direction, running into multiple things. you giggle at that, becoming serious again as the realisation hits you; you had powers.

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©BRRRKDSLEK 2023

[nonclassyparty]

how far are you with the writing of soot pt 2?! are we getting it as a Christmas present 😅🤣, just kidding!! take your time bree and I hope everything is well for you, stay warm in these cold winters!!!

happy new year first of all!!!!!1 second of all, i'm tryinggggg i swear but things are just so busy and even when i get the time to write i'm simply too tired to do it😭😭 january is usually very crazy but i'm counting on things to settle down a little after next week so i'll try to sit down and finish it but until then i offer u another tiny snippet;

"Get out of my kitchen and only return when you have more than two functional brain cells!" You yell out, throwing a dirty kitchen towel Wooyoung's way which he narrowly misses as he heads for the door.

Just as he's about the step out, he turns with traces of flour on his left cheek and a pointer finger raised because he can never let anyone else have the last word, he states; "Just for the record. The kitchen isn't yours, legally it's Hongjoong's but since this is under a mortgage and he pays taxes, technically it belongs to the state."

"Get out!" You yell in a high pitch, losing the last of your composure and can only hear his footsteps scurry off outside of the kitchen.

You heave a deep sigh as you tilt your head up towards the ceiling hoping the frustration bubbling under your skin won't make it blow up to bits and pieces as clips of the last hour in this very kitchen with Wooyoung, who persisted on helping you bake today because apparently he's a college student with enough free time on his hands, play on rewind.

("Spread them out more. We don't want to make one mega-cookie." Wooyoung pauses, glancing at you from the corner of his eye innocently and you roll your eyes. "Just because you want a mega-cookie doesn't mean we're making one.")

("Gentlier, Wooyoung. Gentlier!")

("This mixture is drier than your sex life, Y/N.") - That one got a loud belly laugh out of Hongjoong.

("How old is this food processor?")

("I said fold the mixture in. That is not folding!")

("Measuring is for losers. Just eyeball it.", "You cannot just eyeball this, dipshit!")

("Don't lick it." "...I licked it." "Wooyo-!")

Movement in the kitchen of the coffee shop where you thought you were alone brings your eyes from the ceiling, feeling calmer now, and you spot San shuffling about quietly, obviously careful not to disturb your inner musings.

When he catches your stare, he steps up to the big counter set up in the middle of the room where you stood as if he was waiting for it. It was covered in flour and batter spilled about and dirty dishes along with a tray of burnt cookies left to agonize over at the corner of it.

"I'll help you clean up." San states, not looking at you as he starts picking up the dirty dishes.

You stare at him. "Your shift ended."

"It's okay. I have an hour to kill." He shrugs, throwing a wet sponge and kitchen towel onto the counter from the sink as he steps up and continues collecting more dishes. You dirtied more of them than you should have because Wooyoung was curious to just about anything and you had  a hard time saying 'no' even while knowing it would be a pain to clean.

You didn't expect the little shit to piss you off so much and run away, leaving the mess he had made behind for you to take care of.

Somehow, that's completely on brand to Wooyoung so maybe it's your fault for not seeing it coming.

You think about his words, curiosity getting the better of you despite the constant reminder to keep San at a distance even if you suggested he worked here. You didn't want to butt into his business, you just wanted to know if he was doing alright.

"An hour to kill before what?" You ask, scrubbing the batter from the counter and using it as an excuse not to look at him.

You still sense San's head pick up to look at you, "Oh. I take night classes at a local organization nearby."

Your movements slow at that as you try to hide your surprise never pegging San to be someone to return to school after becoming free. Immediately, your head is filled with even more questions; Night classes for what? Was that why his schedule was so distinct when he first start appearing at the coffee shop? How does he juggle classes while working two jobs? Are they hard? Does he like them?

So many questions and you want to know the answers to all of them but you refrain yourself from asking, only settling for a small nod as you continue your work of cleaning up.

The faint look of disappointment at your dry response is hard to miss on San's face and it sends a pang straight through your chest.

Why was everything so hard? Why were you making everything so hard and painful?

You work in silence for a minute or two before San decides to speak again and the moment he does, you know this will go south quickly.

"That guy, Wooyoung," He starts, voice turning a little weird as he says Wooyoung's name so you have no choice but to look at him, "Are you in a relationship with him?"

His lips are pursued in determination like he's been contemplating on asking for awhile and now finally mustered up the bravery to do so and doesn't intend to back out even if it angers you.

"Excuse me?"

"You smile a lot when he shows up every day, laugh a lot too. You even let him make a mess in the kitchen and then leave without cleaning up." Your cheeks flush at that, Jung Wooyoung will truly pay for this. "You look at him the way you used to-"

San stops himself, eyes on the counter as he scrubs it before clearing his throat, "Like you care for him. That's how you look at him."

"I do care for him." You state, ignoring his little slip up as you turn your back to him and head towards the sink. The idea of Wooyoung and you dating was so absurd that it was hard to take it seriously.

"So, you're together? You're dating him?" He doesn't even try to hide the annoyance in his tone and it makes something itch inside of you in the worst way possible. You want to shake San until he can't tell up from down and yell at him; how could you think I could be with anyone else after you?! Don't you know what you've done to me?! You've ruined everyone else for me!

But you don't. Even you, as pathetic as you are, have some pride left.

"I think that's none of your business." You decide to say.

"It is my business." San quickly retorts and you have to let out a humorless laugh at that.

"It really isn't."

"It is." He echoes back but softer this time, like only he is supposed to hear it and not you.

"What is it to you, really?" You spin around with a glare, cheeks now fully flushed in frustration and faint embarrassment.

San opens and closes his mouth, looking at you like the question is absurd.

 Then, to your utter surprise, San goes on a fully fledged rant on Jung Wooyoung; "He's....he is younger than you and immature and crude and so loud! And...he takes you to fucking frat houses on the weekends...? And he never cares if he embarrasses you with his comments and...and just look at this!"

He motions to the state of the kitchen with red cheeks and furrowed eyebrows, "He left you alone to clean up this mess despite him making it! How is that a good guy? How is that someone you like?"

You're stunned at the amount of details he managed to pick up from you and Wooyoung, never being aware that he was even paying attention to your shenanigans.

You stare at him with mouth partly agape as your annoyance and embarrassment quickly starts growing into anger as the memories start to resurface and all you can think about is 'how dare he? after everything, how dare he?'. "As opposed to who exactly? Someone who was fucking me while at the same time fucking his boss, claiming he likes me but clearly not enough because I could never offer him a fancy apartment and money that a fucking awful person was giving him for having sex with her?"

You regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth but when San recoils like you've just slapped him, the guilt doubles down on you like a two storey building.

Your eyes fall shut as you turn your back to him just so you don't start crying because holy fuck, you shouldn't have said that. You hurt him.

"Sorry." You say loud enough so it's clear as you look at him, heart clenching as he stares at you with obvious hurt written across his face. "I crossed the line. I'm sorry."

San doesn't say a word, just drops the sponge he was using to scrub the counter back to the surface and turns around, heading for the door.

"San." You weakly call after him, eyes already burning from the guilt turning into tears that threaten to fall. 

But he doesn't come back and you're left alone, once again, to clean up your mess.

[the-firebird69]

We're trying to figure out. why they don't understand what's going on. and We are tracing you and sending. assassins after you. and you're gonna be dead soon. Lots of times there are demons. and you don't see them at all Or in the form of your friends and family. We're sick of you idiots here. We're telling you to stop what you're doing and you make it worse. So we definitely are going after you. Today is a big day for it. A lot of you are making really stupid noises and you're going to pay with your lives shortly..

.-- We have a couple brief announcements Stan Wazinsky is going to court. He is told to pay back taxes. And the county might take over the house. And therefore. repair the sewer. And our son is considered low income. and you should not raise the rent on him. especially without notice, is illegal practice. And they might sue you for him. because you're at war with them. and it would cause you to be a **** here and others. Stuff they need. And we're going to go after you. for what you're saying. And you're a liar. And he has a copy of the agreement. And you put right on their Social Security. And if you don't know how to read, that's your problem. You should know, but you don't. And you're in contracts, you say Yeah, you sucked at your job and we're going to penalize you for that stuff. No, we're going to sue the living **** out of you. What you're doing to him at work. Sue the living **** out of you fairly soon too. And yeah, we have to use the name, but it's going to be a different lawyer. And we're going to have him do it because he's a troublemaker.. It's coming up pretty quick and you should be ready to you should be ready to fall because you're going to and you're going in there today. and some of the back taxes applied to this place is not true But you're going to start losing more of your apartments and you'll bother our son more. And we're going to coming down on you harder And we're going to sue you for what you're doing here. shortly too. You are a huge **** and you people here are very stupid. And And we're going to take it out on you. And you announced that he saw under some sort of house arrest for your crimes. And we're going to have you arrested. You don't do that in the United States to anyone And we're going after you now. globally.. And we are interested in Oregon and Washington state and BC and the other areas. But thank you very much. We do appreciate you announcing that they're going to know we're there, that's for they're going to know we're there, that's for sure. They won't be able to go there. and you're the one who's making it happen. And we're the ones telling you so you wouldn't know that, right? Probably not, but you are the one doing it. Stan Wassinski, you and your big mouth **** You're horribly stupid. And you got your hand out and the Macs are no longer doing the work for you..

we are initializing these lawsuits now and many more here in charlotte and in massachusetts and calli and other. now too and buffalow we sue the living shit out of them. and john r the biggest no tommy f no. it is the housing people he stated who he is and what he does warned her she did not listenandd goth it and hit during. held him therre hard and said stuff. and he said so you get shot you dont care and him too. they died a lot. are idiots. and will pay for it trump and iwfe no cheesmean and wife. and they diedok and he says hwy let me out or die. and he said and you conditio it you die. and then he sid this cant say it will and mostly secretly a lot and you die a lot. and he got scared left nd did not come back no was an ass. winning yet..nad he said n wiill nope you all lose now we deiced takee your arreas and stuff mine anyways due to you. shithead nd he was abahshed now sorry for it yes. dies now. good. and we use it on them now

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

[rainey-staerie-daize]

Low-key kinda pissed that I was chillin' and taking a nap in the desk chair in the living room, and Mom woke me up so she can steam clean.

So I stood up, picked up everything I had in the living room, and took it to the kitchen, which included an almost-empty bag of chips and a plate I've been reusing because we're often low on paper plates.

I wait a bit, get bored, and go sit back down and start checking my email for any responses on job applications, and she starts yelling about me being such a lazy person, because I can't even put an empty bag of chips in the trash.

So I get up, and stand there in the kitchen as I finish off the bag of chips (because it was not empty), while Mom goes off about me needing to get my life together and get a job or go to school or something.

Did I mention she interrupted me checking on job applications for this? And the fact that I'm not currently in school because I never finished the FAFSA because I need her help with that as long as she's the one doing the taxes? And I felt especially anxious this time around asking for help? Yeah.

Anyway...

I try to respond to what she's saying, you know, like a conversation, but she says I'm "making excuses," and later on, says she won't tolerate me "biting her head off."

What...?

Anyway, this entire time she's biting my head off, I'm trying to read my phone screen, but her yelling was making it difficult, so I just straight-up covered my ears to muffle her. But then my phone died, so I plugged it in, and continued to cover my ears so I didn't get overstimulated.

Didn't really help, since I still ended up anxious as fuck and all twitchy, even after the yelling stopped and I took a breather.

I was better after some food, which was Skye's leftovers she ended up not liking because we ran out of eggs. Which, yeah, maybe I was hungrier than I realized. I haven't eaten shit the past few days because we've been in, and I'm quoting Skye here, "an ingredient household without the ingredients."

So, about four hours after I was initially woken up, the house is finally peaceful again. Cool.

Except for the fact that while I was eating and chilling out again, Mom started watching TikToks. She's now asleep.

ALL OF THIS AND YOU NEVER F U C K I N G STEAM CLEANED?

I dare her to complain about us "not letting [her] sleep" again. This is complete BULLSHIT.

[findme-at1am]

Hahhhahhah context firstttt- My grandparents died two years ago, my grandmother first then a year and a couple days to be exact my grandfather followed. He took care of her in his last days, screaming at her and honestly verbally abusing her. As a teen I told my mother I couldn't stand to see it so my mother didn't force me. My aunt knew and did nothing, had ALL of his money and we're thinking near a million... Not a single nurse or even recommending one to papaw to at least scare him into acting right. She said and did nothing and never brought it up again, whenever it was brought up she'd act like it was a pain or bother and still post on Facebook how she's "putting her life on hold for both her parents 🙏" . Which she always went online to pat herself on the back or only associate with my family when my mother's health went down hill, then she was oh so humble /s "Thanks so much for giving my sister a second life 😇." Cool thanks for guilt tripping my mother while she was juggling kids, her own health, and her mother's health when you decided to guilt trip her over not visiting when she's getting dialysis, surgery, and medicine changes back to back and driving all the way to Ohio to do so (an 8hr drive all together to there and back home.)

My blood aunt, their oldest daughter, put herself over his will with no thought of my mother over ANY decision regarding the funeral, (not casket nothing.) didn't get either a live in aid/nurse, worked as an EMT at a tunnel full time (so well off AND no time to keep watch on my gmother who had dementia and was attempting to sneak out and gfather who had fell prior) and had ALL and I mean half a million put back from papaw's shit and she used it "all for the funeral..." And his house has the most thinnest walls, no wall separating the bathroom AND KITCHEN (at the time he was alive) AND A HOLE IN THE BATHROOM FLOOR LETTING AIR IN.. MY OLD GRANDPA KEPT A WHOLE JUMPSUIT ON 24/7 AND THE HEAT UP IN THE 80'S bro we suffocated and would always bring it up when we visited (for his sake obv.) and they both suffered living their last years here... And she let them while holding the money and saying "what else could I do."

Doing what's right would be a great start.

Of course after the funeral was done her car was paid off, her house completely paid off, retired early, got a boat and is having renovations done to her house as we speak and she does parties on her boat with a preacher who's church she pays the electric bills for... So where'd you get all that money when you said you've been "struggling" and "living off your taxes"...?

So now she recently found out she has cancer and was loopy due to the tumors pressing against vital organs for a week~ around her brain and lungs yet she has enough energy to guilt trip my family when they visit (I personally haven't bothered, I wanted to for a day then got a reality check that her actions weren't my fault and despite my feelings she didn't and never wanted a true relationship with me so). And roll her eyes when they actually act civil and WANT to see her.. My aunt's daughter doesn't want to tell my mother (her own sister..) anything regarding her health. Which is fine, but don't act like it's cause of my mother tho yours is just pure shit n rocks in a bag.

I'm tempted to post everything on Facebook and let her have it out in the open since she likes showing how good of a person she is and posting plates of food she brought papaw, right? 😊 You don't get a Cancer Get Out of Jail Free Card when you're being a cunt and every day I'm tempted closer and closer to making that side of the family mad and just making a PSA lmao 😊

[bruhstories]

Vogel und Jäger

Summary: You accidentally witness a murder, but the murderer takes pity on you. Pairing: Zeke Jaeger x Fem!Reader (mafia AU) Warnings & Content: murder, language, angst Word Count: 1.7 k

A/N: i've been dying for a mafia au with zeke so here's part one of the series Vogel und Jäger. i have two more chapters drafted, and i'll try to post for this series weekly so i can write some moooore for it.

Bang!

The blood-curling sound was familiar to your ears. A gunshot — followed by the gurgling of a man.

Bang!

Another shot and the gurgling stopped. Panic settled in your heart, making you jump back and knock the metallic bin which served as a shield against the perpetrators.

Shit.

Footsteps drew closer and you began to pray. Running was futile. Running was always futile. Your throat was dry, your mascara was smeared all over your cheeks from all the tears, lips chapped and bleeding.

Our Father, who art in Heaven...

The cold muzzle of the gun pressed onto your forehead and you shivered, breath hitching, eyes glued to the wet pavement.

Hollowed be thy name...

The Mafia never spared any witnesses, you knew that all too well, even if you happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Thy Kingdom come...

"Hey, boss, we got a girl."

"Kill her."

"No, please!" You threw yourself at the feet and mercy of the armed man. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please, I'm only nineteen!" Through the sobs, your voice was still melodious, syrupy. So sweet that the boss stopped in his tracks.

Thy will be done...

Another pair of footsteps approached, tentatively, not as eager as the first person. You still haven't looked up, too scared to even blink, to even breathe.

On earth, as it is in Heaven...

"Hand me the gun, Yelena."

"As you wish, boss."

You felt someone crouch down next to you, someone dressed in expensive clothing, by the look of the trousers and polished shoes.

Give us this day our daily bread...

"You've got a very pretty voice." He lifted your chin up with the barrel of the gun, chills running down your spine.

"T-thank y-you..."

"Can you sing, little bird?"

"Y-yes."

And forgive us our trespasses...

Finally, you looked at the perpetrator — spellbinding grey eyes, platinum blonde hair slicked back and a matching goatee. His gaze was either boring or pitiful.

"Lucky you, we're hiring."

As we forgive those who trespass against us...

Anxiety coiled in your stomach, words caught up in your throat. You were still praying, unaware if this was all a sadistic joke or a miracle.

And lead us not into temptation...

Dark lashes fluttered, more tears streaming down your beautiful face as the gears in your head turned in a desperate attempt to understand what was happening.

But deliver us from evil...

"Hiring?" Your voice went up an octave when you saw the small stag pinned to the man's chest. The Jaeger family — the most feared mafia family in Paradis City.

For thine is the kingdom...

"A pretty voice like yours shouldn't go to waste." He got up and offered you his hand.

And the power, and the glory...

Reluctantly, you took it, helping yourself up and chewing your lower lip.

For ever and ever...

"T-thank you!" You told him, slender fingers squeezing his hand tightly. "I owe you m-my life."

Amen.

"Correct. Your life, your soul, your eyes and ears." He walked you to a car and opened the door for you. "Yelena, take us to the club. We've got business to discuss with my little brother."

•°.•°.•°.•°

Your eyes wandered all over the soundproof office, situated one floor above and opposite the stage. Every inch of the bar, the seating areas, everything was visible from that room. You tapped a finger on the wide window, eyes narrowed at the idea that it might, in fact, be bulletproof. These men were not playing, and you were now their property. The door opened and you jolted at the sound of music filling the office as your saviour walked in with two other people.

"This is my younger brother, Eren. You already know Yelena. I assume you know my name."

You nodded.

"Zeke Jaeger."

"Good girl." Zeke was pleased with your answer as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.

"I thought we didn't spare any witnesses." Eren shot you a look that made you regret being alive.

"Settle down, little brother. Tell us your name."

"Y/N, sir. Y/N Y/L/N." You swallowed, fingers fiddling with the hem of your blouse in an attempt to calm your nerves.

"You see, Eren, Y/N can sing." Zeke opened a drawer and pulled a gun out. More guns, more panic. Your eyes widened and your plump lips quivered when he aimed the gun at you with one hand, glass of alcohol in the other. "Sing or I paint the walls with your brains."

Your legs almost gave in at the threat — you knew it wasn't an empty one, and with all the courage you could muster, you closed your eyes and sang the first song that came to your mind, fucking Kiss from a Rose.

Your voice seemed to coat the people with honey, all three of them somewhat relaxing at the sweet sounds coming from your vocal cords.

"See, I told you she can sing." Zeke put the gun back in the drawer and closed it, swirling the bourbon in his glass before finishing it.

"Where do you live?" Eren crossed his arms, still suspicious of you.

"Historia's." You told him, eyes drifting to the ugly fur rug on the floor.

"The orphanage?"

"Yes."

"But you said you're nineteen." Zeke intervened, a brow quirked at you.

"I am. I try to help as much as possible in exchange for a bed and a roof over my head." You explained, eyeing the white couch that looked so incredibly comfortable.

"Just sit down already." Eren scoffed and you rushed to the furniture, mumbling thank you’s over and over.

"And why were you on that street tonight?" Yelena spoke for the first time since you came to the club. You looked at her and she seemed just as suspicious about you as Eren.

"I... the man you k-killed... he was... I'm-"

"A prostitute." Zeke nonchalantly interrupted you.

It was true. People like you, orphans, didn't have the privilege of being properly educated and finding well-paid jobs. Paradis was a jungle, and you did everything you could to survive. Everything.

"Well on the bright side you don't have to do that anymore." Zeke shrugged as he sunk deeper in his chair, feet on the desk, but you sensed he wasn't entirely honest. "You do have a beautiful voice, and our last girl had some... business to attend to, so you'll be taking her place."

"Is this why you called me here?" Eren sighed, leg impatiently shaking.

"Don't be stupid, of course not. I need Armin to prepare this month's tax reports and I need you to keep an eye on the police. They're sticking their nose in our business again, and I want them out of it. You two can go. Y/N, you stay." Zeke waved his hand and Eren and Yelena left, music briefly filling the office again.

You twiddled with the cushion in your lap, waiting for your new boss to say something. Being in that room was nerve-wracking, and you felt the air grow thick. Eventually Zeke took off his glasses, fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sighed.

"Sir?" You dared, voice feeble and frail.

"What?" He clicked his tongue and you instantly regretted speaking.

"Sir, I'm not educated, but I've been on the streets long enough to know that every man or woman has a purpose..." You placed the cushion back. "...and a price. What's my purpose? I doubt it's only to sing."

Zeke nodded, fingers tracing the wooden desk.

"You're right, it isn't just to sing. It's to distract."

"Distract who? And from what?"

"You're asking an awful lot of questions for someone who's just witnessed a murder. You best not go to the police." He narrowed his eyes, piercing your soul. You sighed and walked to the desk, taking a seat opposite Zeke.

"It's not... my first murder." You confessed to him.

"Oh? My dear, you're full of surprises. Pray, tell. Drink?"

"Yes please." You answered, throat dry as a desert. "I can't go to the police. And even if I could, I wouldn't." The drink earned a disgusted look from you, but it was better than nothing. "Two years ago, I ended someone's life. He deserved it, he broke into Miss Historia's orphanage and tried to... to..."

"I understand." Zeke stopped you. "And if you go to the police, they'd do a background check on you." He continued, satisfied that he had a leverage in case you decided to turn against him.

"Exactly. And Historia helped me so much, I wouldn't want to put her in danger. So, I'm asking again, distract who from what?"

Zeke walked to the window, telling you to follow him. He pointed at two men, a tall blond one, and a short brunette one.

"See those two? They're policemen. They work for us, but we suspect they're double agents." He explained before pointing at three other men. "Those we suspect of being Marleyan mobsters. You see, Y/N, we have a lot of enemies. And we must keep our guard up every second of our lives."

You nodded, perfectly understanding Zeke's words. Paradis was a chess board and only the filthy rich played — the rest of you were pawns.

"Sir, you spared my life, and I know I can't ask for anything in return. But please, please don't drag Miss Historia into this. The children there did nothing wrong." Tears pooled at your eyes, rolling down your cheeks and you wiped them with the back of your hand. "I swear my loyalty to you."

"For someone uneducated, you're extremely clever." Zeke's voice was serious. You half-smiled at the compliment, but you knew the mess you got yourself into cut your lifespan severely. "Can you shoot?"

"No, sir."

"It's alright, Mikasa will teach you. Sleep on the couch tonight, I'll have Yelena bring you a blanket. Tomorrow you'll swear an oath in front of the family. And if you want to protect Historia, you'll move out of the orphanage."

You nodded. You understood that mingling with the mafia endangered everyone you loved, but you couldn't stop yourself from crying the entire night. Historia was but a few months older than you, yet she gladly took you in when she invested in that orphanage. Now you had to leave everything behind for her safety — and yours.

[ed89]

how do you feel about part 2 😉

touhou

South Park

American horror story

jjba (jojo)

twitter users

old people

Detroit become human

family guy

animation memes

stranger things season 3

stranger things season 4

🥱yawning

eating ketchup

sun 🌞

likee

.

☹️

liberals

democrats

USA

paying taxes

war

world hunger

global warming

corruption

anarchists

Harry Styles

communists

nuclear weapons

phone addiction

current world

generation Z

generation Alpha

economic inequality

gender discrimination

politicians

ageism

brain washing

🍃🌞

ok i will also answer these

idk what that is

i dont watch it but its pretty funny

too much sex scenes made me uncomfortable

never watched it but my friends are obsessed

depends on what kind of twitter user. but they are mostly all insane

old people are either the nicest ppl you'll ever meet or call you slurs for existing

i really liked that game years ago but now im like ok maybe not

family guy is funny i still dont watch it but the memes make me haha hehe

animation memes ARE FUCKING EPICAJISD((EA

ngl s3 is one of my favs but only for personal reasons/nostalgia

s4 had a lot of ehhh moments but i still rly loved all the byler buildup, the demolishment of mlvn and the cinematography was fucking awesome AND ALL THE MAX SCENES WITH VECNA WERE SO COOOOL ANDDDD honestly s4 had a lot of memorable n rewatchable moments

i yawned reading this. love yawning

i used to put tomato sauce on everything but now i hardly touch it cus i got no reason to

sun is too bright i have blue eyes and im pale as fuck

likeee yeah.

funny emoji

liberals and republicans are both annoying im an anarchist

i dont know enough abt democracy to make a valid opinion

USA is a shit ass country, nothing wrong with the inhabitants but like it going down hilllllllllll

FUCK TAXES

war sucks but i like it in video games and movies with alien invasions

everyone should have the right to not starve

humans need to take care of our home

corruption ruins everything

thats me

i could not give a rats ass about harry styles

communists are cool

nuclear weapons shouldn't exist but they're still fucking awesome in theory and fictional media

i cant get off my phone

current world sucks but its getting better and i hope we all finally can live peacefully soon

idk we're pretty funny

too young

i hate capitalism

no one should be discriminated for existing

politicians should all be shot dead

ageism is stupid, people should not be harassed for something as insignificant as age

brain washing is awful but its pretty much running most of the world at this point (religion LMAO)