#and now that i've given it a spin i only have more respect for your craft

[donutdrawsthings]

How I've missed you! Inspired by @passionpeachy 's work!

[yawnderu]

Daddy's girl - Vladimir Makarov x Reader

The daddy issues are hitting hard today. ^_^

CW: face slapping, death threats, degrading words, hurt/comfort... as comforting a terrorist can be. Reader isn't Makarov's daughter.

''You didn't come to my graduation.'' You stumble into his office without knocking, the liquid courage in your blood giving you the guts you never even knew you had.

''My little princess.'' His tone is full of sarcasm, brown eyes sizing you up as he looks up from the paperwork sprawled on his desk. He tilts his head slightly as you say nothing.

''How kind of you to grace me with your presence. Of course, I wasn't able to attend your graduation... I have important duties as a leader.'' He was making a show out of it, voice dripping pure disdain as he got up from his chair, walking over to you with his hands clasped behind his back. Your silence makes the corners of his mouth tilt up.

''Besides, I've never been much of a family man.'' Despite knowing better, the alcohol is poisoning your brain, taking full control of your tongue.

''Go fuck yourself.'' The words are spoken with pure hatred, years of suppressed words due to only being acknowledged with condescending words finally coming out.

''I'm shocked, my dear.'' There's a smirk on his face at your bold words, clearly amused by your courage. Oh, how his hands are aching to hurt.

''You know better than to speak to me like that. Maybe I should teach you a lesson in respect again.'' He leans down slightly, one hand firmly holding your jaw as he stares down at you with cold, piercing eyes. You hold your ground, arms crossed over your chest while you stare up at him stubbornly. In the past, you'd be begging and trying to run away, yet you stand tall and proud in pure defiance. Just this once.

''I've given you everything you could ever want, and this is the thanks I get for it?'' He's looming over you like a predator ready to pounce on its prey, eyes burning with resentment and anger you have seen many times before.

''You are nothing without me.'' With a swift, jerky motion, the hand grasping your jaw lets go just to reach out and slap you across the face, the sound of his hand connecting with your skin echoing throughout the room. Your eyes close out of reflex, trying your best not to fall down despite how dizzy the hard slap and the alcohol are making you. You take a few seconds to recover, looking up at him with nothing but disdain, mirroring his own expression.

''You've given me everything but your love.'' Makarov's expression hardens even further, disgust mixing in with the anger.

''Love? What do you know about love? You're a naive little girl who has never in her life faced the reality of this world. You think I'm so cruel, so heartless, but I've made more sacrifices than you could ever imagine.'' His Russian accent got more prominent the more annoyed he got, making his words sound even harsher. He grabbed you by the arm, spinning you around and forcing you to face the window that looked out into the city skyline.

''Your mother's love didn't stop her from dying when she gave birth to you. You're lucky I took you under my wing and gave you a life of luxury.'' You scoffed at his comment, staying quiet for now as you held back tears.

''I tolerated your insolence because I thought that with time, you'd respect me... I see now that I failed to raise you properly.'' He pulled out his revolver, pressing the muzzle against your temple. There was barely any emotion in his face, simply cold, calculated indifference.

''That can be fixed easily.'' He presses the gun harder against your head, and all you can do is hold back tears. You bite the inside of your cheek softly, waiting for a ''bang'' that doesn't come yet.

''Go ahead, pap.'' Your stubborn mouth lashes out before you can even think about it, trying your best to give him a smile despite the way your eyes are burning with tears.

''Free me from this life of death and war you gave me.'' Makarov frowns, finger tensing on the trigger as he looks down at you. He would never admit it, but the unexpected response caught him off-guard.

''I've been too soft on you.'' He pulls back the hammer, metal clicking loudly.

''Quite the opposite, but whatever.'' There was an icy calm in his gaze as he looked down at the younger girl.

''Do you know what your problem is? You're ungrateful. More stubborn than a mule and twice as bratty. All you've ever done is take, take, take.'' His finger tightens on the trigger, patience wearing thin by the second. He wanted to see the fear in her eyes, to see the tears finally roll down her cheeks, to hear her beg for her life, yet she wasn't giving him the satisfaction.

''That's my problem?'' You ask sarcastically, turning your head slightly to look up at him, gun now held against your forehead as you lean closer to him, challenging him even further. ''I've done nothing but dedicating my time and life to you and the Inner Circle.''

Makarov takes a step back, lowering his gun by his side before almost hesitantly putting it back in its holster. He looks you up and down with pure disdain, blood boiling inside his throbbing veins.

''It's your attitude that irks me, not whatever you think you've done for me and the Inner Circle. You're underserving of the respect that comes with your position, ungrateful for the life I've given you, you're living proof of all my failures. Do you understand, child?'' He lets go of your arm, hand twitching to get the gun back, but he ignores it for now. He sighs heavily, walking over to his desk and pulling a bottle of vodka out of a drawer, gloved hands opening the bottle and taking a long, long swig. He's way too sober to deal with you.

''Why are you even drunk at 9:00AM?'' He asks softly, trying his best not to grow gray hairs at the stress your mere presence causes him.

''I've been up all night. Graduation party with some friends and the after.'' You speak just as softly, looking out the window for a while before finally turning back to him, hands clasped behind your back politely, a fake, calm expression on your face despite the turmoil in your head. He simply nods his head, elbows leaning on the lavish desk while taking another swig of the vodka.

''No chaser?'' You try to bring some humor to the situation, all anger gone as you now simply try to please him, ignoring your own emotional needs like usual. To your surprise, he lets out a soft amused chuckle.

''No chaser.'' He confirms, taking a deep breath before pulling two glasses out, filling them up before holding one your way.

''You better not disappoint me.'' The words lack their usual venom, though he's still clearly not happy with you. He knocks back his glass, filling it again without waiting for you. You hesitantly reach for the glass, holding your breath as you knock it back as well, making a face once the alcohol burns your throat and warms up your stomach.

''Ugh.'' Is all you can say, sitting in a chair in front of his desk as he fills up your glass again.

''Come on, try not to embarrass yourself.'' He's not being hostile for once. He almost sounds teasing as he says that, keeping eye contact while he takes his shot without even grimacing or making a face, clearly handling alcohol much better than you.

''You're trying to get me drunk for fun.'' Yet you still grab the glass and knock it back, making another face of pure disgust at the burn of pure vodka he seems to be drinking so easily.

''It certainly looks like it's working.'' He says with a small teasing tone, gesturing towards your slightly unfocused gaze.

''It is.'' Your voice is slightly slurred, the mix of the alcohol you drank earlier, the hard liquor and the lack of sleep hitting you like a fucking train, making you more tired by the second. You rest your head on the desk, eyes closing as you hear Makarov let out an amused chuckle as he gets up from his chair.

''Come here.'' He speaks with surprising softness, and you can feel him lifting you up with care, bringing your barely conscious body to his much bigger chair as he sits down, holding you close on his lap. One of his hands is on your lower back, safely securing your body, while the other one is running up and down the length of your hair.

''Get some sleep.'' He whispers softly and he doesn't have to repeat himself twice. Before you're fully gone, you can feel his lips plant a small kiss on the top of your head. Just this once, he'll allow himself to be weak.

[moonlessmondays]

Sailing Close to the Wind|| One: Chasing Rainbows and Spinning Dreams

*takes a deep breath* *opens laptop* *blows ever so softly*

*coughs*

Hello everyone, I bet you didn't think I would ever come back to write more Downton stuff. Maybe an update from me isn't in your 2024 bingo card. Not gonna lie, I'm just as surprised as you are. I've been gone for far longer than I ever was here, but I guess, prodigal children always find their way home.

YES. This is an update. I know.

In light of the new movie announcement, I made a trip down memory lane, and was inspired by one of my old fics. Not that my writing from five years ago was ever inspiring, really. Anyway, it was supposed to be a one shot, and so I felt like I was in under no obligation to add more, but add more, I shall do.

*steadfastly ignores the 300 other cobert fanfics I am supposed to update*

To my surprise as well as yours, this one had an interesting and very polite demand for more, and honestly, if I wasn't so neck deep in law school, I would have given this a go earlier. Of course, I chose the most inopportune time -- when I'm in over my head, drowning, in bar review and prep -- to finish this piece. But whatever. It was therapeutic. I do suggest you read the prologue first, again -- here or here-- because I doubt any of you still remember this. This one's a long one that I just had to get out of my system, because studying about my country's system is the equivalent of pouring bleach all over my brain.

I would like to say as early as now however, that as I have already mentioned earlier, I am in the middle of bar prep, so the updates are probably going to be few and far in between, if at all, towards the middle of this year. Not that it's anything new where I'm concerned. But I shall endeavor to finish before the end of year or the end of the world, at least, whichever comes first.

.::.

One

Chasing rainbows and Spinning Dreams

"Can it possibly beThe future for me is you…Wait until I can tell you all my schemesChasing rainbows spinning dreamsTell me please your name”  - Tell me your name, Jose Mari Chan

The silence in the room was so loud that one could hear a pin drop – as the old adage went, anyway, – and for one brief second, Cora found herself questioning if her boss was all right in the head. Maybe she had lost her mind after all the stress and was now clinically insane. 

That, after all, was the only logical explanation to her even remotely suggesting this.

Cora looked away from her boss, wondering what she should do or say next, when her gaze met the eyes of the man on the other side of the room. Robert, that’s what Rosamund said, but Cora already knew that. There was nary a soul in this entire company who didn’t. He rarely made any appearance, but he’s never missed one company party and his name was always on everybody’s lips. 

Cora could still – though she would never say it out loud or admit it – remember the first time she had seen the esteemed Mr. Robert Crawley. It had been during her first company Christmas party. She was new, a new hire fresh from her internship, and she’d been so young and so infatuated by the piercing blue eyes that barely looked her way even once in the party. He’d been caught up, talking to the big wigs, to his sister, and their other colleagues and didn’t have time for the little Miss Americana that was Cora. Not that Cora had minded very much, she was content with sipping her wine and admiring Mr. Crawley from afar. 

He was handsome and his laugh was loud and boisterous, although hardly offensive. He spoke to Mr. Carson and his wife, Mrs. Elsie Hughes-Carson, who both worked with them at the company, like they were old friends – with respect and authority, but with clear affection. Cora could have only hoped, at that time, to be treated the same.

Now, here she was, sitting in the office of her boss, having been just told that she should marry the CEO of the company she’s working for so she can stay in London. She felt like she needed more ruminating about the “brilliant idea” of the boss in question, but she figured there wasn’t really even enough time to ruminate that. It was insane. That, in her mind, should count as a red flag right? That her boss was insane?

“Well?” Rosamund started to speak, though she looked just a little bit nervous, or anxious, or maybe it was self-realization – Cora could only hope for the last. “It’s such an unmusical way of putting things, brother.” She cleared her throat and nodded anyway. Clearly, any hopes of sanity were dashed at this point. “I was suggesting a convenient marriage with a deadline…if you’re amenable, of course.”

More here or here.

[my-mt-heart]

Welcome back SF, really missed your input.

That's really kind of you to say 🙏 I'm watching this spinoff against better judgment and have a lot of thoughts on it, but I'll try to stick to production topics.

[W]hy giving so many visual cues for Carol?

Like MT and you yourself said, AMC realized (somewhat belatedly) that they can't Carol-ify characters (Maggie in DC/Isabelle in DD) and expect the audience to get excited. The studio knows Carol gets engagement, that's why they keep pushing the character on social media despite the fact that officially, she's not part of TWDU. I believe Melissa/Carol is so conspicuously absent from Nicotero's interviews for related reasons.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't they shove Melissa and Angela aside to make their own spin off?

No, you're right, but each of the people wanting them off the project had their own reasons for it. It's not as simple as "Norman got a big head" from being the most marketed character (although there's an element of that too). There's a lot of people involved and they all had different things to gain from having these two women removed.

So, my guess right now is, it's about the money and someone less with an opinion, so both Greg and Norm have more creative freedom and a couple of spare millions to spend on their vision

AMC spent way more money this way than having Melissa be part of the show from the start, so no, it's not about money and making a TV show isn't a bunch of people compromising on what to do. (More on that a little further down.)

There are many reasons and @jaibhagwan mentioned one of them in a comment to my previous ask, "[W]ho has the most the gain by sabotaging Caryl to make himself look good writing his “love story” spinoff?" Gimple was heavily involved in S11, the development of DD and in part of pre-production, and like I've previously said, he doesn't want competition. (It shouldn't be a competition at all, since a TV show is a collaborative effort and as a viewer I'm capable of liking both Carol and Michonne. Not that the race is between the women, because Gimple doesn't care about either of them.) He wants DD to fail, so he can swoop in to save the franchise with his TOWL show.

Just so no one misunderstands this as a slight and gets upset: Michonne is one of my favorites and I hold Danai in utmost respect. I'm not comparing women or female characters. They bring different things to the franchise and that's a GOOD THING. I want more of that. I also think Clémence is a great actor and apart from the sweeping aerial establishing shots, she's the only enjoyment I'm getting from DD. My issue is with Gimple and Zabel (whose existence as a "fleshie" I can unfortunately confirm to anyone thinking he might be a cardboard cutout), and their no-good storytelling.

@rubberchickeny "They all ring untrue and like he’s trying to manage (badly) the image the media and the public have. He’s contradicting himself, and other information given."

I believe the obfuscation is on purpose and that AMC (by way of Nicotero) is also trying to shift blame for some of their more controversial story decisions.

Everything that happens on a TV show has been approved by the studio responsible for the production. It doesn't matter if you're an egomaniac actor, a spiteful hack of a writer or a burnt-out EP—no one can override the studio. Someone at the studio approved the respec of Daryl back to his S2 self, the choice to deny his found family, the nunbaiting, etc. Every single script goes to the studio for notes and then (eventually) final approval before it's locked. They approve of the episode edit; if they don't like it, it gets reedited to their specifications.

There's a method to the madness in everything Nicotero has been saying.

@kryptoniancape "So he blatantly lied about having no creative control in that hit piece?"

Yes 🤷‍♀️ and you're right, it's a hit piece. The question is why. Why do AMC and Greg Nicotero want you to think that everything that's wrong about this show is Norman's fault? I'm not saying he doesn't bear any responsibility, but this isn't a one-man standup comedy special on HBO. If he made demands AMC didn't want to meet, they could have pulled the plug on those delusions at any point.

SF

“I’m watching this spinoff against better judgment”

Translation: MT is making me watch so I can answer her long list of questions she sent me.

I guess my concern about a possible smear campaign is…are they expecting more backlash later on? If so, I’m terrified to find out what that is. I’m getting so many asks from people wondering why they should hope for a better story in S2, and even though I do think we can put some of our faith in Melissa, it’s still a valid question. Because they should be doing everything to rebuild our trust that was lost the day they announced the Caryl spinoff was canceled, but instead they’re preparing for things to get worse?

Again, all I want (as a fan and as another woman in the industry) is to feel reassured that Melissa’s getting everything a leading lady deserves and that Daryl and Carol are getting the story they deserve.

Fwiw: If Danai was the showrunner on her spinoff, I would’ve been SEATED for that. If Melissa got to showrun or direct, I’d be seated for that too. TWDU needs more women and poc making creative decisions.

[bleeding-star-heart]

A non-comphrensive list of rewrite ideas for DA:2's ending

So, I've talked about DA:2's ending, and while how it just manages to make sense from an in-universe perspective, it absolutely doesn't from a writer's. And part of me suspects that the reason for that is because DA:2 was a very rushed product. One that, in my opinion, could have benefited from a little more time in the metaphorical oven. Here is a list of things I would do differently regarding the ending. This is more of a brainstorm than anything; not all of these ideas are going to go together.

First and simplest: get rid of the Chantry explosion altogether. It's a waste of animation. It requires the audience to buy the absurd notion that a man who CHOOSES to provide free medical care to the homeless-and it was expressly HIS idea to do so-would just shrug off the deaths of multiple civilians.

A better idea would be to focus Act 3 on Meredith Stannard. As a tyrannical military leader with extreme views and NO respect for civil authority, she is the PERFECT antagonist.

Perhaps Meredith feels that Elthina is an obstacle to her gaining power. Maybe she believes that Elthina's "moderate" views equate to being under the control of blood mages. Maybe she's decided that would be a very convenient narrative to spin.

Either way, it is time for Elthina to go. So, step one, she kidnaps Anders. As an apostate, he can serve both as hit man AND fall guy.

Except in this scenario, Anders does not actually want to assassinate Elthina. Mainly because he believes that doing so will only make mages look bad. (We are ignoring what Justice feels).

Now, owing to player agency, what goes down can vary. The player should have the choice of whether or not to rescue Anders, and, if they choose to rescue him, dialogue options should given them a number of choices on HOW, exactly, they wish to intervene.

But the gist of the situation is: thanks to Anders's refusal, Meredith ends up killing the Grand Cleric herself.

This ends up creating commentary on how reactionaries, ironically, end up attacking the very systems that privilege them, if they believe it helps them maintain that privilege.

But if we MUST keep the Chantry explosion for some reason, then under no circumstances should Anders be responsible.

We could tie it to the previous idea and, thanks to a certain combination of player choices, have Meredith be responsible.

Or the Chantry explosion is simply an accident. Maybe it is the result of an attempt to STOP Meredith; a tragic consequence of the fighting.

But again, I am not a fan of the explosion. So, going back to an ending WITHOUT the explosion, perhaps we switch tactics and make ELTHINA the Act 3 antagonist.

Not very orthodox, no. But there is a growing, very popular alternative interpretation of Elthina as a calculating, manipulative politician.

One that could serve to make her an excellent twist villain. Perhaps Elthina grows tired of Meredith's antics. Maybe Meredith is too much of an embarrassment, makes Elthina look weak to the other Chantry leaders.

So Elthina decides it's time to kill Meredith. After which Meredith is replaced with a more compliant knight-commander, one who will not stir the pot so much. Thus, restoring the status quo.

But the problem is, Mother Petrice, like a cockroach, has managed to survive the incident with the Qunari. And she can't leave well enough alone.

So SHE decides to kidnap Anders, and frame him for Meredith's murder. Only problem is, Mother Petrice's frame-up is so laughable it ends up exonerating Anders to anyone with two brain cells.

Thus, the players are forced to choose between three factions: Mother Petrice's faction of fanatical templars (who obviously lack the necessary brain cells), Orsino and Elthina's "moderate" faction, or a third faction, one belonging to Anders and the mage rights' activists.

These are just my ideas. Feel free to chime in with your own. So long as they don't involve Anders blowing up the chantry.

[vylad243]

Honestly with the way the Goethals act in general it could be safe to say most of them go down the line of “Anyone I perceive as lower than me I treat like shit” with a few accepting members like Stolas

But speaking of Stolas, if you feel more comfortable going off of what is canon, then maybe the idea could spin off of him? We know him to be respectful and to have enough pull to get meetings with a Sin so it wouldn’t be too far off to say Ozzy asked Stolas to check out the hotel to sponsor it. Maybe during introductions he only bows to Lucifer, the Sins, and Vox and everyone is confused?

Just spitballing with the other anons idea! Whatever you go with will be amazing regardless!

Also just a small question cause I’m curious of what you have planned but how many prompts are you planning on writing/is in your Que? I have like a shit ton of prompts in my inbox and need filtering advice if you’re willing 😭

I am the goddess of fucking around and finding out

I don't mind canon or going off canon. My Alastor and Vox are very ooc after all, but I know the fandom tends to hold Helluva Boss in a higher standard. I never really liked it that much. I've watched it- but I'm Striker. Why does everything gotta be a sex thing? The two season finales were my favourite of Helluva Boss, which ironically included little to no Stolas

I could definitely see Stella and her brother treating the sinners and overlords are faith on their shoes while Stolas and Octavia hold the sins and Vox in higher regard

Ozzie would definitely be pulling the strings to get Stolas to visit the Hazbin Hotel if I go that route.

I like working off of your guy's ideas. It's very fun and helps me world build 🙏

~~~~~~

Ahahaha my ask box is also full of different prompts. I have omega-verse, the Vee's joining the battle, and injured Alastor are three I can name off the top of my head (because I'm writing them right now) but I think I have like 10 or 11 in there. One is also a beauty and the beast ay which I'm mulling over

As for how I filter them out- prompts are things I want to be able to enjoy writing. Some of my prompts have been quite large- and while I don't mind the large ones, it gives me a lot less freedom with them because I feel like I have to rewrite a whole story that was just in the my box. I never deleted any, though. I just put them in their in tag just in case I feel like writing them later- but ones I am writing right now/want to write sit in my box so I can shuffle through them. It keeps it organized

I haven't encountered any rude people yet- so I haven't had to reject anyone for demanding things from me (which like I'm always ready for a debate on the internet, I find them funny) and with how nice everyone is, I usually feel bad for denying them. It's way I take so long to deny people. I want to make sure this is actually something I don't plan on writing in the near future

My way to filter out prompts is

- I need creative freedom to write so I don't feel miserable writing. This is one of the main ones. My brain is very hectic and I find myself tapping out if I can't bring my own ideas to the table. It's also why none of my works are exactly like the prompts im given

- I have enough context to write a fic on it

- I would actually enjoy writing it

- it's a world/au I'm aware of or contributed to. Nothing is worse than being handed a fully built universe and being asked to write for it with little to no explanation on how the universe works

- the people are nice to me.

- I know I make a few jokes here and there, but I like to keep in mind that I'm making free work for people. I'm not being paid to do this, and people aren't paying me to write out the prompts. I love writing fanfiction and it's a great hobby, but if you're genuinely just not interested in doing something- you don't have too. Writing it meant to be fun and inspiration is a fickle thing. You don't want to push it too hard or it's going to shove back. I've learnt that the hard way

- bonus way to do it- sometimes people leave comments, and I find them funny, and I get creative with them. I censored a whole chapter of month in rut because someone told me to let the characters swear. I'm also a very petty person

This is just personal, but I keep my prompts 1k-3.5k words just so it's decently sized, but not overly large

Hope this helps!

[katzell]

your thoughts on the marvelous mrs. maisel finale? especially, the conclusion of the lenny and midge’s storyline?

Thank you so much for the ask!

I've been thinking about it for weeks, so it's time to get into it. I'm going to mainly address the Lenny and Midge part of the question, mostly because addressing everything else would make this far longer than it already is. And boy is it long. Here we go!

After years of ranting and raving, I now know when there is a version of a show I am watching and a completely different show the writers are creating. When I realize the show I want isn't something the showrunners are interested in, I cut and run.

I nearly dropped Maisel many times over the years as it became clear Midge was never going to have her big break before the finale. It would rather spin its wheels and have more family dinners and musical numbers than grapple with the real dangers of being in show business in the 1950s and 1960s. Midge and Lenny was the only thing that kept me going, and paradoxically it was because Lenny was going to die rather than in spite of it.

I never carried an ounce of hope that Lenny was going to escape the real fate of Lenny Bruce. When the Palladinos introduced Lenny in the pilot, they never meant for him to be a regular character. It was supposed to be a fun nod to the comedians of the time and the kind of comedy the Palladinos were inspired to explore in the series. And then Luke Kirby gave a mesmerizing, unforgettable performance. From that point forward, ASP was always very careful to make most of the characters who populate Midge's world fictional versions of real people. The decision to call him Lenny Bruce and not David Blake (or something better) put limits on what that character could realistically be or do.

For ASP, saving Lenny would have meant undercutting the few ties to reality Maisel had established. And I I agree with her. Especially given how little the show really seemed interested in exploring the darkness of that world. Sexism, racism, antisemitism, homophobia were all present, but the tone was always more light and whimsical. Which is why we got so many interminable boring overindulgent musical sequences.

Knowing that Lenny's death was coming filed in some of the shadows the show itself danced (literally) around. It also allowed me to enjoy Midge and Lenny as a pair of star crossed lovers who could have saved each other, but ultimately don't because of both their own faults and the societal forces around them.

Accepting those limits, I found really beautiful tragedy in Lenny's final two appearances. The opening scene broke me. I was prepared for him to die, but I wasn't prepared to watch him fail. Immediately after the episode I was upset with that narrative choice, but rewatching his previous appearances I came to agree this moment carries more narrative weight than one terrible phone call ever could. Midge watching Lenny fail and not confronting him after was set up in season four. And it's a tragedy of miscommunication on both their parts that comes from a place of love and respect.

Lenny told Midge when he woke up on her couch that he never wanted her to save him again. He was so embarrassed at the idea of Midge seeing him at his worst that he fled her home without his shoes, without using the bathroom, almost in a state of undress. Lenny also made clear to Midge that his drug use wasn't something he would discuss with her in the hotel room. Lenny so desperately wanted Midge to be impressed by him. And yet that desire ultimately prevents any chance Midge has of actually getting close to him. At Carnegie Hall, he realizes for the first time how carefully Midge listens to him and appreciates him. The thought terrifies him. Suddenly his best self seems like it might ruin Midge. So he bolts.

Lenny and Midge could talk about the struggle of comedy and even nod to the ways the world was inhospitable to people who lived outside of the accepted cultural mores of the time, but Lenny could never bring himself to share with her the nature of his addiction. For Lenny, this subject was far more taboo and unspeakable than religion, race, and sex. Because unlike those topics, society saw (and still sees) addiction as a personal failing. For all that Lenny could call bullshit on some things, he internalized this myth. If Lenny had been more honest with Midge, if he had gotten out of the cab and gone back upstairs, if he had let Midge know more about his drug use, if he had asked Midge to bring an umbrella to support him for more than national television appearances, Midge would never have let him fall on his own.

Midge remembers everything Lenny ever said to her. His words are maxims, even prophesies. Midge believes Lenny even when she shouldn't. We see her quoting him often. She carries his fortune with her for the rest of her life. It's such a clear indication of her love for him, but it's also a tragedy. Midge probably let herself believe that the paraphernalia she found in the bathroom wasn't a big deal, because Lenny had promised her it wasn't. By the time she had heard enough to know differently, the damage was done. If Lenny hadn't told her not to save him she would have tried to pull him out of his spiral with everything she had. As it was, she sent him Susie, her best friend, her greatest asset, the lifeline she had relied on over and over. But it just wasn't enough. Midge couldn't meet him at the club and respect what he had told her. And Midge always, always tried to do what Lenny said.

That miscommunication, that tragedy, is heartbreakingly rendered by Rachel Brosnahan and Luke Kirby. Without explicitly saying anything, we know Lenny wants Midge to walk through that door and to try to rescue him. And we know that Midge wants to do just that, but cannot bear the idea of being rejected by him.

In the end, at least, we have that scene in Chinese restaurant which I think might be the most visually stunning scene of any of Midge and Lenny's encounters (I'm sorry Miami club, you are a close second!) It's a nice final reminder of what Lenny did for Midge: he acknowledged she deserved a place amongst the elites of the craft. I only wish there had been room for Midge to also validate Lenny. I would have loved her to give him some parting words that he might also treasure.

There are other ways of tragically ending Midge and Lenny's journey that I would have loved to see, but given the Palladinos disinterest in really exploring the nasty, dark, ugly parts of show business in the 1960s, I am not surprised we didn't get them. That can be a project for a fanfic writer who doesn't want to "fix it" so much as "make it worse." (Go for it fanfic writer! Sometimes we need sad things!)

I also have my own ideas of what would be a happy ending for these characters (see Midge and Lenny's Alternative Adventures). But I think the key to landing those stories (for me) is to confront this miscommunication so that Midge and Lenny can both accept and demand more from each other and to build up a new, less brittle kind of respect that comes from real intimacy. I want productive fights that tear through artifice and expose the mess underneath. Only then do I think they have a shot of saving each other from their own worst instincts.

Does that mean I liked it? Hahahahaha I don't even know. I respect it. It lingers. I felt something. And that's better than most series finales. And Midge and Lenny remain sensational.

[pixiewritesstuff]

Hii!

This is probably going to be a long ask I'm sorry 😭

I got into Undertale and the AUs when I was like nine I think and I'm like thirteen now and sans aus have been such a huge comfort to me!

I discovered your tiktok account around a year ago and you inspired me so much immediately! Your characters were so cool - Smudge was the first one I saw.

Sadly I stopped watching your account for a long time because I deleted my tiktok account but I remembered you a couple of weeks ago and was like GAHH I HAVE TO FOLLOW PIXIE!

I have been at a low - girl I'm like Ink, I have such a fear of being forgotten- I want to make an impact in this fandom and I thought I couldn't but then I was like 'wait...' and you've given me inspiration to make a blog called askbittersweet!

Maybe I won't get asks, but you gave me the inspiration and confidence to and you're just so important to me!

this was supposed to sound so much cooler but my words failed.....

also your art style is so pleasing lol! I had a lucid dream where I had your artstyle it was kinda weird but it was cool n stuff (jeez lousus i'm bad at talking)

I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY AND NIGHT AND WEEK AND YEAR YOU'RE SO COOL <333333

Awww thank you!! I got into the Undertale AUs when I was about 11/12 and now I'm turning 19 in a few hours, so I definitely relate to that sense of comfort!

And thank you for your support. :3 I've been working every day to give everyone content they can like. I love this community and honestly it's my honour to be giving everyone content that they enjoyed. Secret be told, I didn't think anyone would like my work considering my writing isn't all fluff and sunshine, but I was completely blown out of the water with support and love from such amazing individuals. I've met and made friends with so many amazing individuals, each fan interaction I have makes my absolute week because there is nothing I love more than cooking up content.

I wish you luck on your own content journey! As long as you have a passion for what you do? There is only one way for you to go and that's up. Since I'm feeling nice today, I'll give you a few tips ٩( ᐛ )و

★ Use what's trending to your advantage -

Tik tok, Tumblr, Twitter/X all follow an algorithm of sorts, if you see bunch of videos following the same pattern... Take the leap! Make sure to add your own spin on it, not only will that help you stand out but copying others makes a story so bland, bleh!

★ Be brave, be confident -

I know putting yourself out there can be scary, it's literally throwing yourself on a stage and slowly building an audience hoping you'll attract your kind of people. But you'll never get anywhere if you stand around timidly and be too scared of that attention. Sell yourself, be brave, what makes you different from everyone else? What makes you special? What makes your amazing work so amazing? What can you do to bring something different to this multi verse?

(For me? I can bring adorable characters with a horror aspect, but what makes me different? There's no one quite like our lovely princess Smudge, is there?)

★ Don't be afraid of interacting with people but withstand your boundaries.

Unless those people are total dickwads and have no life, making interactions with people is a great place to start. You'll build a solid support system, people who aren't just interested in your stories but genuinely want to see you thrive! Little side note- don't let people stand on you either. I've had many a time where people thought they could push my boundaries and got kicked to the curb. Don't be a door mat, how will anyone respect your characters if they don't respect their creator?

★ Last but certainly not least - believe in yourself!

Okay, this one is a little corny and I know what you're probably thinking. 'But Pixie, I have low self confidence and esteem. Being confident doesn't come naturally.' And I'm super sorry to hear that. You're a wonderful person with flaws, but those flaws don't undermind your best traits one bit. If you don't believe in it, believe in us to believe in you. Would there be hundreds of people lying to your face? Really? No. There would be some merit behind their words, right? I faked it till I made it. Now? I have the ability to trust my own talent. I find love in my work and in my characters. I can only hope you do too, you can do amazing things if you set your mind to it. That's something I live by.

AND YOU'RE JUST AS COOL! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR IDEAS AND WORK!! THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS, YOU CAN DO IT!!!

[blackjackkent]

OK, time for Hector to reap what he sowed by completely misunderstanding and agreeing to Gale's pickup line about showing him something 'magical.' 😂

Although actually, starting the conversation off, it doesn't entirely seem like he *did* misunderstand? So honestly, respect, Hector - it's not your fault, Gale is not being at all clear. XD We need to work on everyone's communication skills.

Hector finds him at the end of the evening in the midst of conjuring a small illusion - the image of a woman's face hovering in the palm of his hand.

"Who is that?" he asks softly.

Gale jumps, the illusion vanishing in an instant as he spins around.

"Oh! My, you startled me. I...I was miles away."

Hector gives a slight nod towards the wizard's now-empty hand. "I thought you wanted to show me something. Was that it?"

Gale stiffens slightly and looks away. "No, no," he says hastily. "She's no one, really. I was just...practicing an incantation."

Hector raises one eyebrow skeptically. [INSIGHT] "You don't have that look on your face when you're looking at 'no one.'" He's started to relax a little. Perhaps Lae'zel and Shadowheart didn't know what they were talking about - perhaps it really was just magic Gale wished to discuss.

Gale shakes his head, and his eyes take on a faraway look again. "What can I say? She's...she's Mystra."

Memories from his studies at the monastery drift through him, the knowledge of the pantheon as instinctual as breathing. Mystra - the mother of all magic, goddess of the Weave itself.

"I can't quite describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her - to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence," Gale goes on. "No sculpture or painting could ever do her justice - only the fabric that she herself is and embodies - the Weave." He looks towards Hector again, a new light in his eyes as he speaks on this subject, something Hector has never seen there before. "Mystra is all magic. And as far as I'm concerned, she is all creation."

Hector has seen this light before, in the gaze of some of the more devout of the monks back at the monastery. It is not fanaticism, not quite - but a level of faith that borders on the passionate. "I didn't realize the depth of your devotion," he murmurs.

Gale nods vaguely, his thoughts still elsewhere. "Magic is...my life. I've been in touch with the Weave for as long as I can remember. There's nothing like it. It's like music, poetry, physical beauty all rolled into one and given expression through the senses." His eyes refocus abruptly on Hector. "That is why I asked you to seek me out, to offer you a taste of such wonders. Would you like me to show you?"

Hector breathes out slowly. Certainly, then, this is a demonstration of magic, and not whatever carnal adventures Lae'zel thought he was planning to delve into. And he is more than a little intellectually intrigued - he is no expert in magic beyond a few spells, and the curiosity that always defined him before this mess is being given space to rise to the surface again.

And yet, would that have been so bad? If he is to experience all the horrors of this world before he can find his way back to the safety of the monastery, why should he not experience some of its pleasures...

He shakes the thought away, nods slowly at Gale's offer. "Yes, I would," he says.

Gale smiles, and Hector finds himself returning the expression. "Then follow my lead."

Gale settles himself at Hector's side, extends his arms and performs a slow, complicated series of gestures which sends a burst of multicolored light swirling into the air before them.

Hector watches, then blinks in surprise when Gale turns to him and prompts, "Now you."

He looks down at his own hands, and then his brows knit with an expression of intense concentration as he mimics Gale's pose.

[ARCANA] Imitate the gesture slowly and as precisely as you can.

Still flustered by his earlier conversations, Hector's movements are awkward, a little distracted. Despite his concentration, his attempt at the spell does not go off.

Gale smiles, not unkindly. "Not quite. But this is the easy part. Shall we try again?"

Hector draws back, squares his shoulders, and closes his eyes for a moment. With the ease of practice, he centers himself meditatively, calming the agitation, the anxiety, rooting himself into the ground and the moment.

[ARCANA] Imitate the gesture again. Find the magic in the movement.

This time, he feels the power of the Weave catch itself up in the movements. The light bursts forward, and in equal reaction he feels a wave of warmth and calm slide through him.

Narrator: You feel something strange - like a kind word and a kind touch at the same time. It's warm and comfortable.

Hector's eyes drift half-shut. Gale speaks again, softer this time. "Now repeat after me. Ah-Thran Mystra-Ryl Kantrach-Ao." The words roll through the air, echoing back upon themselves. They shiver along his skin.

[ARCANA] You sense power in these words. Speak them deliberately.

The warmth deepens as the words resonate in his throat.

Narrator: Suddenly - the scent of rosewater and a sense of wellbeing. A sliver of Weave that tastes sweet on the tongue.

After the horrors of the day, this moment of peace and safety is almost overwhelming. He feels tears sprout in his eyes and swallows tightly to hold them back.

Gale is watching him intently. "Very good," he says gently. "Now I want you to picture in your mind the concept of harmony. As true as you can."

Hector's eyes flicker open as he considers the request. Harmony has felt so far away ever since the nautiloid found him. But here...it is quiet here.

[HISTORY] Think of the here and now - this unexpected moment of learning.

The warmth grows, the purple-blue light beginning to swirl around them, the camp and its people seeming suddenly very far away.

Narrator: You see - or is it sense? - the presence of a woman, the woman who hovered over Gale's palm. There's something like the anticipation of a kiss, then the pleasure of being cloaked in peace. You are safe. You are nestled in the cup of Mystra's hand.

Hector's breath catches. He is dimly aware that Gale is standing very close to him, their eyes locked, but for a moment he feels lost in that sensation of utter security.

Then the moment breaks, and Gale looks away, turning to take in the swirling light around them.

"You did it. You're channeling the Weave. How does it feel?"

It takes a moment for Hector to find his voice, to remember what words are.

"Effortless," he murmurs. "You're a wonderful teacher."

Narrator: The Weave connects you. The moment feels...intimate.

Hector swallows in a suddenly dry throat. Is this what Gale wanted? Was Lae'zel right after all? Is this a prelude to something physical, or even romantic?

It feels so safe, so warm. He doesn't want to leave that safety. He has been so afraid for days.

But his control, in spite of him, reasserts itself.

A satisfying end to a wondrous experience. It's time to let go.

Narrator: The Weave evaporates, and as it does so, you realize the night feels suddenly cold and lonesome.

The feelings slip away, the warmth and safety replaced by a chill that goes into his bones. He makes a soft noise of regret, closes his eyes.

Gale has withdrawn back into himself as the sensation fades. "There it goes," he murmurs sadly. "How easily things slip away from us, no matter how hard they were in the obtaining." He hesitates, meets Hector's eyes for a moment, and then smiles. Something unsaid hangs in the air between them.

"Good night," he says softly. "I enjoyed sharing a moment of magic with you." And without waiting for a response, he turns and retreats into his tent, leaving Hector standing alone in the moonlit night.

[paramorearchived]

June 17, 2010

Transcript:

strange youth

long time coming, this post is....... was.... why am i talking like yoda now?

so, i'm really excited to be writing here. not really sure what i'm going to write about yet but that's what makes it exciting. i guess i can start with, it's been a wild month, to say the least. "life is a daring adventure or nothing at all". is there really more to say about that than that? ok, well one more thing... human beings are no less respectable when they are at their most vulnerable. and that's why i try to have faith in people. 

right now, it's about 12:30am - we landed here in Hamburg, Germany about 10 hours ago. all i've done is sleep, watch movies and "glaze" my hair. i'm trying not to dye it at all this summer besides right before the honda civic tour. i like the way the colors fade and how strung out i start to look with my hair turning all sorts of greenish yellow. it's even better when i don't wear any make-up out. what a sight. anyways, i'm tired and at the same time completely restless. and in, what some people would call, a "desperate need" for a shower. and what's most exciting is that my face wash spilled out into the rest of my toiletry bag. there's still a little left though.  on the flight over, i read half of a new book i've started called Wonderland Avenue. it's by Danny Sugerman, in case you're interested, who happens to be my voice doctors' brother. NEATO! the author of this book not only met and hung around The Doors as a young kid around the age of 13 ... but by the time he was out of his teens he was already managing them AND Iggy Pop. (if you aren't aware of these artists, get to googling). so yeah, couldn't put that book down until finally i had to... cause me and jeremy wanted to watch Shutter Island on the plane tv's. that's right, folks, business class seats have an assortment of movies available to you on little personal tv's. what a bunch of snobs we must be! by the time we were done with that movie we realized we still weren't tired so we watched Fantastic Mr. Fox (directed by Wes Anderson, an absolute genius)... and then as jeremy fell asleep i proceeded to doodle in my journal and listen to Nirvana's 'Incesticide', then Mumford and Sons' 'Sigh No More'. it was a good flight. clearly, i got a lot of things accomplished.

again, i'm still just sitting here in my hotel room letting the orange glaze sit in my hair until i finally give in to a shower. i didn't even have enough orange left to cover my full head, so just get over it when you see me and i look like a hot mess. 

maybe now is a good place and time to state my opinion on our being everywhere at the same time. seems like we've got just about every magazine covered this month, people are playing our songs and i'm singing on B.o.B's song and it's just crazy all the time. i do love it... it's a lot of fun to work hard and see your work all around you. yet at the same time, there are still large number of people that i don't think will ever get it. the SPIN article (you know, the cover one) that was just printed about us doesn't really seem to say anything ABOUT us as a band. and it seems that in most cases writers simply enjoy looking at us and exclaiming - like they've discovered something huge - "THEY'RE YOUNG!" or of course there's always, "THEY'RE CHRISTIANS"... or "THEY DON'T SHOOT UP IN THE BACK OF THE BUS!" what is this the 80's? is it really that sensational that we aren't the second coming of Motley Crue? does our music suggest that we should be acting otherwise? listen, i'm not trying to sit here and wreck the writer from SPIN. i'm sure it's hard to get a handle on any band within the amount of time given to capture "our story". maybe reading articles about us just gets a little monotonous, that's all. oh and i'm not actually friends with McLovin or Miley. awkward turtle.

and on a slightly different tip, it's my opinion that anyone who is coming onto our band looking for controversy is completely missing the point. the point isn't in the intent of controversy, the point is that there is no way around it. as people, aren't we all bursting at the seams with conflict and controversy? the point of our music is that there are human hearts in it. because anyone knows that eventually, someone will find something on you. if you don't do drugs, you probably have another addiction. even innocent. we could stop looking for the wrongs and realize that they're inevitable on the way to something more meaningful. i'm not totally preaching here. talking to myself as well, in case you wondered. who knows? maybe i really am just bored with giving music journalists the benefit of the doubt. like they're really gonna let people know what we would want to tell them. yet still, i want to have faith in people. and anyways, what WOULD we want to tell people if we had that much space to write about ourselves? it would probably end up just the same. does it ever bug you guys? do you ever feel like some people are just missing it? 

when you come to a show do you feel the same thing that i feel when i'm on that stage? i mean, i know you're not standing on the stage... but surely you can feel the same energy that i'm feeling, to some degree. it's so much more powerful than all the trivial nonsense that people chalk our band up to be. it means something great and it feels empowering. it's the grace of knowing that we can all totally suck and be a little messed up and then stand in a room with thousands of other people who are exactly the same way, no matter how dressed up they look on the outside, and we can be broken all the same. 

man, what have i gone and spouted off about now? sorry for such a long winded, self-serving type of post.  i'm ready to wash this crap out of my hair and try to sleep til the show tomorrow.  we are actually sharing the stage with The Get Up Kids, Hot Water Music and Dropkick Murphy's tomorrow. should be a good one!

<3 hayley

[universaltribalsimp]

"You're now the Pokemon Champion! …Or, you would have been, but you have one more challenge ahead. You have to face another trainer. His name is… ROMAN REIGNS!!"

Listen to set the mood.

Imagine the following scenario. You have been on quite the journey through this new region. You have finally conquered the Elite Four and just when you think you are the new champion, a door opens and all you see is a white light. Upon stepping into the light, you take a brief moment to admire the room. It is much more massive than you expected but it is also very office-like, baking in a low light thanks to the chandelier hanging from the ceiling and the torches in the four corners. The walls are painted white with several black pots of red flowers attached on both sides. It is very cozy - even homey - but you can still feel the intimidation about it. Perhaps the most intimidating and interesting part of the room is a large table stretching out to the other side. This table is so long and so wide that it would fit perfectly in some king's castle and at the other side of the table sits him. The Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the best of the best.

Roman Reigns: So… You actually made it. Very few people made it to the Elite Four and even less than that made to me. I will admit, I am impressed, but this right here… is where your journey ends. I've been reigning over this league longer than you've been alive and if you think a guy like me is going down to a kid like you, well guess what? (He pulls out a Timer Ball and lightly tosses it in his hand) Prepare… to acknowledge me.

As soon as he snap his fingers, the beat drops and he sends out his first Pokemon onto the table.

Inspired by Truegreen7 and his series of giving celebrities and famous people Pokemon teams, I finally decided to give Roman one of his own so that my brain can't finally rest on this idea. The Heel Pokemon Incineroar is quite possibly the most obvious choice, given his current "Tribal Chief" gimmick. Aegislash is a nice little nod to his time in The Shield and being that he was born and resides in Florida, Alolan Exeggutor is kind of a must in my opinion. Revavroom is probably a bit of a strange choice in your eyes, but it represents his appearance in Hobbs & Shaw, a spin-off from the Fast & Furious franchise. A franchise that's all about fast cars and family. Speaking of family, Kangaskhan is another fairly obvious pick, representing Roman being a family man and his love not only for his kids but for the kids in general. Finally, we have the Teamwork Pokemon Passimian to represent Roman's history in football - both in high school and college. Honorable mentions to go Hawlucha and Zamazenta, the latter being another reference to the Shield and the former representing Roman performing a suicide plancha - albeit very rarely, but still. The only reason they didn't take the team is that Hawlucha is much better suited for Rey Mysterio and I feel that Zamazenta and all other legendary Pokemon are better suited for Hall of Famers.

And just because, if Roman were League Champion, Incineroar and Kangaskhan would have access to its signature Z-Move and Mega Evolution respectively. Also I just now realized that I gave him three Alolan Pokemon on accident. Well, Roman has Samoan heritage, Samoa is part of the Pacific Islands alongside Hawaii, and Alola is based on Hawaii - why am I making this connection after the fact?!!!

[project-sour-grapes]

I met with my boss on Wednesday about my workload and how most of my projects were incomplete due to a lack of permission to focus, and what started out as a tense conversation actually became a pretty productive one. I started out talking about how I was spinning my wheels, and--though that was initially interpreted as my asking for direction on tasks--once I stopped beating around the bush, I actually let my boss know that the problem was the task switching. I was really spinning my wheels, because I didn't have his trust that I was going to get the work done in the way that I knew was best given the nuances of both the problem and of my skills. That's how software engineering goes, and even more so, that's how research goes. We ended the conversation with my reiterating that it is important that I have his trust to get my work done. I brought up again that my most productive time was the first month and a half when I had virtually no oversight and just tackled the problem in the way that I knew best. The output of that was a bunch of graphics and research questions that my boss really liked.

Today though, my boss emailed me that he wanted me to do a few things like send him some of my research data and to also start calculating some ratios on some of that data (what I was doing a few weeks ago). I sent him an email with the data and said that I need to focus on my current task and that I would appreciate his trust that I'm going to get my current tasks done before I switch back. Because that is the problem. I keep switching tasks, and I have all of these dishes half done, and my boss is asking himself, "Did I hire the wrong chef? Does this guy even know how to cook?" The irony is that all of the task switching was because he asked me to switch. How do you tactfully tell your boss, "I will be more productive once I get the guts to ignore 50% of what you ask me to do?" I'm also not the type to put my head down and have silent contempt for my boss while I do other things. The times that I have tried that, I ended up half-assing the "other things," and I was left holding the bag career-wise anyway. Everything and everybody suffered there. I either like to work for a person that I respect or I like to fuck off to save everybody the dread. Maybe that's the problem. I don't let tension and uncertainty exist. I want to assuage everybody, which means that the goal itself suffers. People can't be assuaged all the time. If I spent all my energy on getting people 100% happy, nothing would ever get done. Imagine if the inventor of the blue LED needed his boss's (or his boss's boss's) approval in order to continue his work? We wouldn't have the blue LED. He kept going even when people pulled his funding and laughed at him. A whole industry of scientists and engineers laughed at him. He kept going. Now, I don't even know the names of anybody who doubted him.

For the record, I like my boss. He is one of my favorite managers that I've ever had, second only to one of my first bosses from early on in my career, who is still a great friend and mentor of mine. My current boss is really a cool dude. I am aware that managing is difficult and getting things done under the pressure of a grant from a big government institution is a daunting task.

[waterolivecoffiyeh]

Right. Like it was really a fill-in-the-blank thing. You complained for over a month about the issue in Twitter and Tumblr posts. After all, in your so-called first "ramble" everything was easy to connect to what you were talking about. Again; as a former follower of yours, I didn't need to just insert anything. I picked it up from everything you were talking about. More so, you made these posts when there were a lot of attacks and news coming out from Palestine. A lot of people were spreading stuff about as they could with stuff blocking and suppressing news. It's not that hard to put 2 and 2 together. You were not vague at all. Also, I'm glad you're bitter about your Christmas morning being ruined. You don't deserve any peace of mind given how much of an insensitive person you are to others, yet dare to expect everyone else to cater to your need for a "safe space" on the internet. But, I guess you can't even do that right if you're still seeing "stuff" you don't want to see. Since we're on the topic I noticed this little bit.

Here you are complaining still about seeing stuff you don't want to see. I'd ignore this post if it wasn't for the fact you mentioned Tiktok here. Tumblr isn't TikTok. That much is true. However, TikTok is where a lot of people are getting their Palestine news straight from people in Gaza. I use it myself to keep up to date. More so, the algorithm is suppressing news. People have to try and bypass things to help spread the news. Even then, how you manage your feed is based on what/who you watch and what tags you look up. You could literally be on TikTok and not see anything. Last time I saw you talking about TikTok on a random art post you admitted you didn't get it or understand how the app worked so I wrote it off as you not being a user. But given the number of times you complained about stuff now, I seriously wonder if you're using TikTok. Either way; it doesn't change what you did in your posts and why I lost all respect for you as an artist. Your first ramble was worse off because you tried to spin it off as a "Woe as me I can't do anything to help so please don't show me stuff I can't handle." type of ramble only an overly sensitive privileged brat would use as an excuse to look away. And let's not forget you dared to reduce this genocide down to a religious war between two Muslim "countries" when it's Israel trying to wipe out Palestinians. Everything else were you complaining about seeing stuff you don't like after that coincided with dates of big news and attacks coming out from Gaza. Then you had to make that insensitive rant online while people were being killed by bombs or kids dying of starvation on Christmas eve as if their suffering was ruining your Christmas. I had every right to call you out on your bullshit because that's what it is. For someone who tries to market yourself as a wholesome and "safe" artist, you are nothing short of a two-faced privileged brat who thinks you can say anything "online" and thinks it's not come back to bite you in the ass. You are posting on social media. People are always going to see stuff. If you can't handle any responses then you shouldn't even be on here or learn to keep stuff to yourself. If you want to be a shitty person then keep your shitty behavior and thoughts to yourself or whoever is willing to tolerate you as a friend, if you even have any. But, I won't tolerate someone who seems to be compliant with a genocide happening and having issues with seeing a "few" screenshots as if they don't have the power to control what they see. That doesn't compare to the horrors people are facing right now and again it's the most privileged take I've ever seen you try and spin in your favor.

[todayimgonnaplay]

Today I'm gonna play: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant In Manhattan

Big coincidence that The Last Ronin is getting a video game, and that I'm playing a TMNT game. I read the comics and I'm excited to see how they'll adapt it! After having played Transformers: Devastation by Platinum Games, I've been wanting to check their other games similar to it. This is another game that's also been taken down sadly. I chose this as I've been a TMNT fan since I was a kid (Raph being my favourite), and although I haven't really played much of their 3D games, the 2D ones are quite dear to me, with the GBA version of 2008 being my top TMNT game. I really do suggest checking it out!

I have to put this out first, the presentation in this game, although having its own original take on the turtles, is oozing with style. It feels like they've come right out of a comic book. This makes it the biggest plus point of the game. It's not my favourite rendition of TMNT, but I respect the take. Also, due to my lack of experience with TMNT 3D games, I will try to compare more towards Transformers instead, since it's made by the same studio. And I'd say it does a good amount of things better than Transformers, which released in 2015 while TMNT released in 2016. Levels are more varied in environment and you're not stuck to just one area, and you're also given some gimmicks such as a parachute to glide, which actually ends up being used to traverse in one of the stages. The latter half of the game does use the same environments again, but puts a spin on it based on the narrative. A calm night in New York in one stage, turns into blazes in another. Moving around the stages mostly feel great, especially in New York when you get to grind on rails and electric wires, run up walls and hop from rooftop to rooftop, it really puts you into the uh...''shoes'' of a ninja turtle.

The music is also fitting, and at times has caught my attention, especially the stage select themes which seemed to have changed each time I progressed. Surprisingly Masafumi Takada and Naofumi Hirada were the ones in on this project. I now get why one of the tracks I heard lowkey gave me Danganronpa vibes (I'll link it)! I think the music would be appreciated more by itself, as the game gets quite busy with sounds and visuals everywhere.

Dialogue and overall story is typical for the average TMNT experience, as one of the writers of the series worked on this. Fans will be amused, but nothing dark like some of the comics as the game is most likely aimed for a younger audience.

But that's where the pros end. I expected the game to succeed Transformers, but instead I felt like it fell flat in some places, notably the combat. You're only given two buttons to work with, a shuriken throw button, and your D-pad to use items that either heal/buff you or deal damage. The game has about 9 stages, but these controls get VERY old by the time you make it halfway through. And despite the variation in level design and the gimmicks, they're not used to its full potential when you have repetitive random missions ranging from defusing bombs, to fighting enemies, or transporting an item, you have to solve in order to ''progress'' towards being able to fight the boss. It's a bit of a strange system and ends up coming out a bit disconnected. Transformers had something similar which was solely just beating up enemies scattered throughout the map, but it was saved by its fast-paced flashy combat. TMNT on the other hand is just...sluggish, with later enemies often acting like HP sponges that take forever to beat. Not suitable for a ninja I'd say.

Some other strange instances I've noticed is when the entire team is knocked out, you have to button mash and eat pizza to regain your health, except you get a penalty for mashing too fast and have to maintain a certain pace. I'm not quite sure why the player would be penalized for wanting to continue the game when the challenge in this situation is to regain your health as fast as possible. In terms of dialogue, April acts as a guide for progression and also provides tips, which is great but...the lines all appear at the wrong time. I get told to hurry up when I'm already on the move, or to refill my items when they're already filled. I assumed they were reminders at first (which is not a bad thing), but they occurred too often for its own good. There's also an inconsistent difficulty curve throughout the game, mostly with bosses. I had a much easier time beating up Shredder compared to some previous bosses, or even mobs! I was expecting a phase 2, or something that would continue the battle.. but it was over, and I was left unfulfilled. There is also something I didn't mention with Transformers, but I have been experience it yet again with TMNT. The game seems to have pretty low specs, but my PC struggles to run it when I can run games that have higher specs than this. I've seen reviews that mentioned about optimization issues particularly with its online multiplayer mode too, so I'm assuming the PC ports are not well optimized, which is a shame.

From what I know, TMNT has a rocky experience when it comes to 3D games, as they still excel more in their 2D counterparts. Platinum has developed a decent foundation for the game, but couldn't put it to full use. Here's hoping that (if it's a 3D game) The Last Ronin can take notes from this and build upon it further, because a TMNT game with solid parkour and combat mechanics could definitely go a long way.

[accirax]

And with that, the polls are closed!

we uh... we were really going through it on this one, huh?

Not only in terms of denial, but in terms of being divided! My compliments to the killer, they made a baffling case indeed.

Thank you to everybody who participated in this poll! Even though the results weren't necessarily different from what I expected, it was still fun to watch the numbers go up and down all week. If you're curious about the actual numbers of how many people voted for each option, I've already done the math, and will talk about it below, along with some of my general thoughts and opinions.

Levi absolutely swept this poll with 129 votes on his own. Good god, man, that's more people than are in the entire US Senate! I can see why he would be a popular choice, though-- he has the means (strength) and the motive (his literal motive) to pull it off. I still feel like he still has a greater role in the story that has yet to be completed, but that's just my two cents.

Hu was an easy second with 72 votes going her way. This one surprised me a little. Like, I definitely knew that there were Hu culprit truthers out there, but I didn't know there were so many! I don't think I've actually seen someone write out a full theory of how and why they think she would be the blackened. Is it that most of you think that she was manipulated by David? Is it connected to her wire being used in the Ace near-murder? Or is is something else entirely? If anyone has defended their Hu choice in writing, please send it my way, because I'd love to hear what you think! (/gen)

After much fluctuation, J wound up in third with 27 votes. So my anti-dressup theory meant nothing to you guys, huh? (/j) Well, unlike Levi, I would believe that J's role in the story could be done here (I honestly have no idea what to do with her in terms of death order predicitons), so I understand the appeal. I do wonder, though, what percentage of J culprit theorizers think it's her because of the dressup theory, and what percentage believe it's her for other reasons (her relationship with Arei, her remote, etc). I'd make another poll, but it'd only have an audience of 27.

Ace took fourth with 21 votes. He started off slow, but gained traction over time! Ace is certainly quite relevant to this chapter, what with fighting Levi, bullying Nico, and overhearing the conversation between David and Arei, so this could definitely be the point of Ace's exeunt. Venus and I have basically determined that, story pacing wise, it probably makes the most sense if Ace dies here or survives. So for the sake of all Ace fans (including myself), I hope it's the latter.

Eden ultimately wound up with 19 votes. I would guess most are disciples of the 1moreff-creator/thebadjoe scripture, much like I am. As someone who currently believes that Eden is the blackened, I'm a little disappointed that she didn't do better, but also not that surprised. Actually, the reason why I made this poll in the first place was wondering how many people actually believed all of the giant theories we were writing about grippy tape. Somewhat like Ace, I originally believed that Eden would be a big, important character in DRDT as a spin on Teruko's "rival." Not necessarily a survivor, but at least, like, Chapter 4 or 5? While I now think that her character could end here and still be a well-written and important addition to the cast, I can obviously see why people would be against the idea, and believe that that still could be her path.

Fifth place is Whit, with 14 votes. To be frank, I don't really understand this one, given his apparent day-long alibi with Charles and openness about sharing his motive secret. But, I 100% respect whatever your guys' reading led you to. Maybe I'm the one getting duped by Whit's quips and quirks. Maybe Good Grief isn't his character song. Maybe then I can stop crying every time I look at it--

Sixth is the nebulous Teruko/Charles/something else option, with a combined 13 votes. (13, huh? Teruko coding.) I really hated having to combine all of these choices, especially seeing that they did get thirteen votes. Like I said in the comments, I suspect that most people just used this as a "see options" choice, but now I'll never know! I do feel like I saw at least one person semi-suspect Charles, so maybe there were some real votes for Charles or Teruko out there. If any of you want to share, I'm all ears.

Arturo wound up in seventh, having 11 votes. I love a good "suspected but disproven at the beginning of the trial, so you think they're good, but then it wraps around and you learn that they actually were the culprit all along"! To be honest, I (sadly) don't think Arturo is long for this world, but it could still be interesting to see more of his reactions to J having declared war against him by outing his secret. Not to mention how the student body as a whole would feel about him after learning about how he threatened Eden and led to his sister's death. A definite option, although a low one by consensus.

Our main literature man insane, David, got 8 votes. When I first got into DRDT, I thought I had been spoiled that David was the Chapter 2 killer, so I guess that would be the fulfillment of that prophecy. Maybe I'm the Ultimate Clairvoyant, who knows. The appeal for David is there, given that he... literally confessed to it. Him getting an MV also matches Min's MV after she was the culprit. I think the Trial is probably about to lead us away from David as a suspect, but we'll see what happens if/when DRDT resumes.

Veronika has 5 votes, which puts her in ninth. Her percentage was weirdly high at the beginning, so I guess most of the Veronika culprit enjoyers are prone to stalking the DRDT tags? Or they just really like to vote. Not sure why Veronika would want to kill here, given that she seems to enjoy the killing game. Maybe it's about her yet unrevealed secret? Hit me up with an explanation if you've got one :D

Nico has four votes at tenth most likely. After trying to kill Ace, they just couldn't resist going for another, huh...? I feel like, given their behavior, Nico didn't try to kill again here (why would they target Arei, also), but who can really say? At least if Nico is the culprit, it might give us more of an excuse to discuss the gym crime scene in canon. I want answers for that thing so bad.

And in the end, even Rose couldn't avoid getting one vote. Sorry to everyone who was hoping that she could escape scot free. Of course, given that literally only one person thinks she did it, she's probably going to survive this trial. However, if she is the killer, props to the one voter for seeing what the rest of us couldn't! Assuming that that one vote isn't just someone who saw that Rose didn't have any votes, and wanted to give her one to be unique...

Again, thank you for voting, and thank you even more for actually reading my opinions! I want to stress that although I think some culprits are more likely than others, I truly do respect everyone's opinions and interpretations of the work. There's a lot of information to go through, and everybody comes into it with their own biases and beliefs on what makes a good story (including the creator himself!)

What I find most fun is hearing what everyone thinks and remaining flexible such that we can explore every possibility. Therefore... please share your culprit thoughts. I am once again asking politely.

I was thinking about this the other day and realized that I really had no idea what the stats were for the fandom as a whole....

Please note that I'm asking about the blackened-- AKA who would be executed-- for this poll. In the case of "Levi was Eden's accomplice," "David manipulated Hu," etc, I want to know who you think is Going To Die.

[luolands]

Essek's work and responsibilities

Essek, c2e135: I only ask because I've seen a great many prospective talents like yours grow unfocused in times of.. necessity, and decisive action.

Marisha, c2e136: Does he have War Caster? He does, right? Matt: He does.

EGtW: He is eager to use the conflict as an excuse to practice the deadlier aspects of dunamancy

Essek, c2e94: It prevents me from some of my capabilities throughout the day each time I do this, so while I'm here in my home and things are not requiring me to be elsewhere rapidly, thankfully this is a moment in time in which I am more useful here in the city.

c2e99: [You see one of them, a familiar visage of the Taskhand Adeen Tasithar.] Jester: Essek, did you ever talk to him? Did you hang out with him? Essek: We once knew each other. For a while. Jester: Does he suck? Essek: That is a word, yes.

(Taskhands are warriors: Taskhand Durth Mirimm, an elite warrior governing Jigow; Taskhand Verin Thelyss, an echo knight governing Bazzoxan. The Dynasty has dunamancers partnered with warriors: Thuron - the echo knight infiltrator in Zadash - was partnered with a drow who cast a graviturgy spell similar to gravity sinkhole. Lythir VaSuun, a high-level graviturgist, was partnered with a high-level echo knight to lead a border scouting party.)

Essek, c2e91: And you believe that the individuals that make the laws and employ them across your empire are more capable than these mages? Do you not think there is perhaps a necessary balance between the two that maintains the order?

EGtW: The laws of the dynasty, which stem from the faith of the Luxon, are enforced by a network of trusted Aurora Watch captains and soldiers.

EGtW: Essek is both respected and feared for his intelligence and cunning.

c2e74: Now who you see arrived at the front: a male drow, short white hair, a perpetual soft smile, a similar mantle of armor to the soldiers that you saw exterior, but beneath it, a cloak of dark purple just drifts below and obscures the entirety of his body.

c2e57: A similar mantle to what you noticed Lythir wearing, but much more elaborate. You can see the robes that he's wearing that pretty much entirely obscure the body.

Essek, c2e90: We've investigated Adeen, found him already halfway across the Ghostlands on his own, shrouded and seeming to attempt escape. We ambushed and retrieved him, and have spent the better part of the past day interrogating him.

Essek, c2e77: There is indeed one beacon that still remains in the grasp of the Empire. We have.. numerous ways of pushing towards that goal. However, should you have been careful in your dealings, you have a little more reach within the Empire than someone such as I would, of course.

Twitter: Shadowhand is a title granted to those who focus on the dark mysteries of Exandria for the Bright Queen. This includes both subterfuge and arcana (like a specialist in the dangerous unknown). Spies, mages, and investigators that reach a certain station can be granted this title.

Essek, c2e131: I just know that I've also survived this long, weaving the intricacies of deceit like I have, by knowing how best to keep myself.. out of the complications as best as I can.

Essek, c2e80: I already have a few operatives looking to infiltrate- to locate and infiltrate the Cult of the Angel of Irons, you said it was, in hopes of gathering more information. Jester: You have? Essek: Yes, since you gave me this information a while back. ... I have a lot of plates I'm spinning at any given point in time. This is one, and I'm now giving it a bit more prominence, so.. I apologize to have misled you to think otherwise. And I also apologize for my attitude yesterday. I have been under some pressure.

Essek, c2e98: I mean, there has been a shadow war between the Dynasty and the Empire for.. decades. This is just the first time that it's brimmed out of the control of those that waged it.

Essek, c2e98: I just want to warn you about getting too close. I'm tied.. to a lot of dangerous individuals and teeter in the shadows at the crux of all of this conflict, intentional as it may not have been.

Essek, c2e131: I can find a place to go. I am capable of being slippery when I need to be.

Essek, c2e57: Take care of them and should you need anything, well... we'll know.

c2e79: [You made an additional deal for rapid transportation with your sponsor, Shadowhand Essek Thelyss. Who agreed, begrudgingly, for the very last time to do this.] Liam: The last, last time. Marisha: He keeps saying that. Travis: He can't say no. [Wow he's just racking up the debt points with you guys. He's going to make you do some fun stuff down the road.]

Essek, c2e78: I trust that your interests are forthright. I'll need your help soon anyway. Jester: He said he would need our help soon. He seemed like he would do it.

(Soon after) Jester, c2e81: Is there any news of the war? Allura: Yes. There has been a series of attacks on some of the military siege installations within the empire. There was an assault on some of the weapon creation factories in Hupperdook. This was about four days ago, as well as a counter assault by the empire within Xhorhas.

Jester, c2e63: Did you want to come, Essek? Essek: I have my own business to attend to, but I will vouch for their capabilities. And my tutelage.

Essek, c2e70: There is a lot of business I must attend to as well. As you've heard from the Bright Queen, a lot of things are moving and my interests lie elsewhere beyond a kiln.

EGtW: He is eager to use the conflict as an excuse to practice the deadlier aspects of dunamancy, and also curious to see what the powerful minds of the Cerberus Assembly may have gleaned from their research into the beacon they stole.

Leylas, c2e57: (turns and goes) Shadowhand, can we confirm that there has been some kind of imperial goblin capture? Nott: He's not a goblin like I am. (...) He's a halfling man. His name is Yeza Brenatto. He's a chemist. Essek: Yes, we do indeed have this figure in our Dungeon of Penance.

Leylas, c2e57: Well, first, I will say that this prisoner of yours that you're requesting could possibly be returned to you. I do not know the scope and depth of his involvement with the conflict to the west, but I'm certain the Shadowhand will inquire and if there is anything else required, we will attempt to close our interrogation and return him to you.

Essek, c2e90: All of this has been given, elements of it, to attempt to force them to fill in the blanks, to prove our.. curiosity and let them prove that they were involved. But upon magical inquiries, forcing of one's will, and through physical... persuasion, we managed to excise the truth, and the Taskhand has given his hand, if you will.

Essek, c2e90: Trust me, there's been plenty of punching for two days, I do not think that you would maybe- Beau: But do they have magical punches that make people talk? Essek: We have magical means of forcing the truth, if that's what you're talking about.

Fjord, c2e90: Is there any reason why you haven't told her yet? Are you trying to confirm or gather, or? Essek: I was- if you're going to, in a point of extreme tensions in warfare in which the queen is impatiently waiting for any sort of concrete proof as to why the ceasefire was necessary, we wanted to make sure that we presented it as an entire package, as opposed to piecemeal. It is better.. and also we need to cross our Ts as well, in the instance that perhaps any of this information is incorrect.

c2e63: Previously, you had all the raised platforms with the chairs of the different den heads that were there and the five chairs that were on the main central raised portion of the platform where the Bright Queen was. Now, you can see maybe six individuals present. Two on one side, two on the other and there is the Bright Queen and the right hand there. It seems like this isn't a formal gathering of all hands on-deck, more just general matters. You see Essek is present on the left side, Mirimm is in the right up in her chair.

Leylas, c2e63: They've been assigned as your wards, you trust in this, yes? You believe them? Essek: [Essek's sitting there in the chair, you can see the hands just barely crossed poking through the cloak] I trust them. Leylas: [She gives a nod] Well, we shall plan accordingly. They will rue the day they tried to assail us on their terms.

c2e70: Already, you can hear voices bustling. It's a little more active than last time you were here, when it was somewhat half as intense. You can see all the seats are filled, both on the two opposing house sides as well as the central chairs that flank the Bright Queen's throne. ... You can see a troop of four individuals, three drow and one hobgoblin are carrying a table out past you. It seems to be a map of probably Xhorhas. The length of the table will probably lead it quite deeply into the Empire and Western Wynandir. Essek: [You look over and you can see across the way, Essek has been sitting down in one of the chairs] Well, if a safe and quick means of transportation is required, that would probably be my specialty.

Essek, c2e133: The pursuit of magic, in the ways that we know it, in the ways that we've been disparately, but in some ways similarly raised and studied. At a certain point, it becomes about the self. It becomes about what I can do.

Essek, c2e124: I was granted this post and for the time being I am enjoying the change of pace, strangely. Jester: So you really don't know very much about Aeor, then? Essek: I'm learning as we go, but I just asked to be sent far away. And from what I'd heard, there was quite a bit of competitive acquisition of relics. And if I'm to be honest, that is an intriguing thing. I mean, I'm a man of arcane study, and if there are things here that can continue to progress my- well, my personal studies, then that would be, that'd be perfect.

Essek, c2e124: (Discussing Aeor's ruins) Well, there's quite a bit down there. I've only been in myself a bit, but we can go over that.

Essek, c2e124: I should not leave this outpost, I have responsibilities here and people that rely on me.

Essek, c2e124: Starguide Uraya, Uraya Hythenos, perhaps. A goblin friend of mine, I believe they spoke to you when I was unable to reach out that day. They have returned to Rosohna to deliver reports.

c2e141: He eventually began to feel the possible prying eyes of Dynasty discomfort, and absconded from the Aeorian trade post. (...) He went there to continue his business for the time being, because at least it was far away and there were people there that relied on him, but even that he eventually left.

Talks, c2e89-90: But as a person of his training, his station, and just his general persona and how he likes to present himself, he would never openly show that concern at first.

c2e124: He's intently listening and seems to be genuinely disturbed by the information that he's received. He's taking it in, he's very controlled. Like he's used to listening and, you know. His demeanor since you met him has been very constructed. It is very much an element that he instinctually puts forward. But even in that space you could see him being very contemplative and trying to just take it all in, and nod.

Beau, c2e91: Does the Dynasty have us bugged in this house?  Essek: It would not surprise me if they, at times, chimed in. You have been under watch, here and there, since you've arrived as you were a.. challenging addition to the proximity of the Bastion Fjord: To be specific, we've seen ourselves being watched. We were hoping it was you? Essek: At times it was. No, but it was part of my assignment when you first came under my wing to ensure that there wasn't any chances of undue.. Empire business finding its way within the proximity of the Bastion.

Wrap-up: He immediately was like, "I'll take care of them, I'll work with their business, I'll figure out what they're going, and I'll be their chaperone," essentially. And so it was him just trying to cover his ass, while also trying to figure out what you were up to, what your connections were, how much you knew.

EGtW: Twelve hours of daylight each day can become painful and physically detrimental to those beings adapted to subterranean life. To mitigate this problem, powerful dunamancers have woven arcane shields to temporarily block out the sun above Rosohna. 

Wrap-up: (Verin) was like the brother that kind of got him, and they got along okay in a family that Essek did not get along with at all, and was surrounded by people he didn't get along with. He didn't get along with his parents, he didn't get along with most people in the Dynasty unless they helped him maintain and advance his position of power and influence and so.. you guys fucked him up!