#and now its like...theyre old enough i can sit back and be like WOW. it worked. its out of my hands now

[sajaffery]

unblock...2...

thank you gobstikelsa1970..although i blame you for having to break one of my earlier rules. this was supposed to be all part of the same post. which started yesterday and was supposed to continue and continue until tumblr officially decided to kick me off their website altogether for being a nuisance and a show off at which point i would be forced to roam the face of this earth with words pouring out of my fingers into the thankless earth. sorry. i kind of got ahead of myself there. but ive decided to continue this on a seperate post, titled the same with a few sad dots and a 2 at the end. perhaps my two followers wont hate me so much anymore, and they might even ask other people to follow me. although they seem to only be interested in large naked men with bulging muscles. i hope thats not why they added me for i can only ever be a large naked man with a bulging stomach. they might be into that, after a few beers, maybe a couple of tequila shots and five hundred years of solitude. another cliched literary refernce. see earlier post for reference and explanation for terrible grammer and spelling. fuck dead white old men! were they old? i cant remember. and I cant go back and check either. you certainly can. but you wont. because youve got better things to do, like continue reading this post. emoticon alert. okay this is starting to get repetitive. I’m making the same jokes as yesterday. its probably a good thing i cant go back and reread my posts because then i definietely would be cracking the same jokes again and again. or i might be able to build on them and improve them. isnt that what all writers do? Bukowski certainly does. I’ve read three books by him and countless short stories and it seems to be the same books over and over again with very similar characters, especially women. doing the same things over and over again and him just finding us better ways to tell us about it. so I guess I can do that. but I cant rered what I wrote yesterday so I cant. and I’m not great. by any stretch if the imagination. but then neither was Bukowski. another reason why my wife cant read this, she’d pick up the laptop and smash it over my head for saying that.                          (FORCED DELETION)

I FUCKING HATE DONALD TRUMP. compared to him, i’m jesus christ. i.e. impossible to hate. everyone loves jesus, even the people who hate bible bashers because the man just talked about love. and he had cool hair. the poor guy was even ready to marry a prossi. how fucking awesome can you get. my mum called me jesus the other day because she was yelling at me and i just kept smiling at her. thats how amazing the man was. although it does kind of help the argument that he might have been deluded. even mad. huh. i didnt think of it like that. not a very nice thing for my mum to have said. hmmm. i’m blanking for a bit. oh new rule! i have to tell you, i say you even though i know nobody is reading this, and if someone is…cringe!!! but yes i have to tell you why i stopped writing yesterday because i wrote down i have to go to work but thats not good enough as an excuse because i’m actually at work as i write this. my work involves sitting behind a counter with a laptop infront of me and ignoring every customer who walks in as much as i can. yes i’m a till jocky and not the cool kind like randall from clerks, but more the sad kind like Dante because he hates being there but has nowhere fucking else to go. my parents own this place. hence my dad being a rich capitalist and my being a fake socialist. and ive been stuck here for the last six years now and i reconize 90% of the people who walk into this place and i want to punch atleast 90% of those 90%. I cant punch the rest of the 10% because theyre too fucking old. not because I like them. wow I hate a lot of people. no. no. this is just a symptom me hating myself again. it has to be I’m starting to come out like a monster in this post, my two hypersexualised followers are going to be defollowing me any second. can you find out if someone has defollowed you? do you get a little notification for that? like you do when someone is following you. such and such person is no longer following you. LOSER! me. not them. i’m the dumpee remember, not the dumper. maybe this is me. maybe this is why i’m writing this, because i cant possibly hope to tell anyone any of these things. not face to face anyway. who would want to listen? God knows I wouldn’t. except maybe if i was getting paid for it. even then. clearly ive gone through medical school or at least graduate school to be sitting there and getting paid to listen to this crap and eventually i’d reach a point where i’d want to get this person out of my room, out of my face out of my life, just as far away from me as possible, wow. i want to stop writing this now. i suddenly dont feel great. and i feel tired 

[doebt]

one of the ONLY things in life that im truly proud of is that i basically raised my sibling and they turned out to be such a genuinely goodhearted person..and that is almost completely on Me, not our parents, or even grandparents, it was 99 percent Me..and what a RELIEF lol for real.

[wqk-k]

Obey Me Brother react to an idol!MC

 hi this is my first set of headcanons for the brothers  👉👈 i apologize if the brothers are ooc in this, though i tried my best jksajdufhj. i hope you enjoy!

++++

Warning(s): Cursing

Reader Pronouns: They/Them (4A)

Background: MC is a very popular idol in their world, best known for their impressive singing skills, music and the amount of rewards they have recieved because of their talents. Surprisingly, they aren’t only popular in their world, but in the Devildom and Celestial Realm as well.

++++

Lucifer

since lucifer didnt actually read who you were on the paper that had blown to his feet, he had no idea you were an idol at first

but after couple days at RAD, he noticed that random demons kept coming up to you in between classes and didnt leave until the next class started

most of them had come up to you with a pen and some paper asking for your autograph

he was just like ??? 

after a while of this happening luci decided to just ask you straight up why they were coming up to you like that and you had told him you were an idol back in the human realm

that explains it

he honestly doesnt mind

if people start hating on you in public, he’ll honestly just shoot them a death glare and it works

so damn well

he got too much pride to deal with those underlings

if you start working on music/mv projects that you left off on in the human realm (like shooting mv or singing) he will absolutely rent you a recording booth or fuck, even a whole ass theatre if you needed it

sometimes he likes to sit in the recording booth and listen to you sing for a bit before returning to his stacks of mammon’s bills 

v proud of you dont get him wrong

but he will make sure you’ve done all your homework first LMAO 🛌

Mammon

when mammon first found out you were an idol he started digging through boxes that had been in his closet

after what seemed like hours he finally found the box he was looking for and he started to dig through it

he pulled out an old camera that levi gave him a couple hundred years ago bc he said he didnt need it

mammon had the best idea ever, he could sell pictures of you to your fans for at least 10,000 grimm each.

surprisingly it worked

like really well

so well that you found out

you confronted him about it, saying that you find hella uncomfy with him snapping pictures of you at random times. not only that but it was an invasion of your privacy

despite him earning so much grimm, he agrees to stop but keeps some of the pictures to himself to look at when he misses you 

if you get hate in public he’ll turn into his demon form and scare the person away, maybe scaring you in the procees but apologizes right away if he does

if you start working on music/mv projects he’ll offer to help you shoot mvs or record you singing if you need the help

just make sure he gets some credit for helping you

but he genuinely thinks you look amazing in anything, like anything

you could be wearing a big bird cosplay and he’ll think you look breathtaking

gets you to model w him sometimes

Leviathan

wait you look really familiar

really really familiar

you almost look and sound like that one really popular human idol that hes simped for time and time again

wait

oh shit

v embarrassed when he finds out it is actually you and gets really nervous when hes talking to you

is the demon asking for your autograph

but you have no idea how much power you have over this man

you could tell him to come out of his room and he’d come out with ease, no protesting, no nothing

may ask you to record a ringtone for him for when he wakes up

even after months of you two knowing each other, he still gets flustered when you start talking to him with your stupid cute ass eyes and your perfect hair and your perfect voice and your perfect-

yeah you get the point AKJSDKLASFBG

if you get hate in public he will deadass growl at the person before escorting you to your favorite ice cream place

if you start working on music/mv projects he will be by your side 24/7

he wants to see the god/ess themselves at work

hes like your personal butler for the time youre working on the projects and its adorable

hes bby

Satan

when he finds out youre an idol he will 100% voulenteer to help you write lyrics for your next song

but besides that, like luci, he really doesnt mind

he hears some other demons talking shit about you after art class and he’ll be angy as usual, but after stomping off and accidentally bumping into you he just

turned into puddy??

idk what it was but it was something abt they way your hair was a lil messed up and looking at him like that wish a small embarrassed look

just wow

every ounce of anger just evaporated while you apologized over and over again because the face he was making made him look like he was angry for some reason 

when he snaps back into reality he says its cool but then asks if youd like to go to the library w him because honestly youre his safe haven now

sometimes he asks you to hum a tune for him when hes reading

if the demons start hating again, you may need to hold him back KJASNDJFG 

if you start working on music/mv projects, again, will voulenteer for helping with lyrics

if you already have the lyrics down he’ll review them and give constructive critisisim if needed

or he’ll just write every lyric himself and you can judge it after hes done

Asmodeus

is not surprised at all

hes actually heard some of your songs and damn id he doesnt have them on his “on repeat” playlist on devilfy

he thinks you have an outstanding voice, not only that but youre a gorgeous lookin thing

asmo likes to hit on you a lot because he likes to see that flustered look on your face but he would never over your boundaries

he wouldnt want to be over the internet bc he made one of the most praised artists in devildom (thats not even a demon) angry

asmo doesnt want to be cancelled yet JKSJKDGFUA

but seriously, he thinks youre amazing

like really amazing

there like no lust involved in his admiration for you he just geniunely thinks youre cool

but he does think you look amazing 24/7

will ask you to model things for him for devilgram

if you get hate in public, he’ll hold your hands and shower you with compliments and tells you to ignore them

if you start working on music/mv project he will insist on doing backup vocals or being a backup dancer

or like the head backup dancer or whatever theyre called

is like your personal stylist wherever you go as well

along with that he can also help you come up with a beat for your song if you need one, he is more than happy to help someone like you

Beelzebub

he honestly thinks youre really cool

asmo showed him one of your songs before and thought it sounded really catchy

not only that, you sounded beautiful, almost like you were actually from the celestial realm, consider him a fan

so when you showed up for the new exchange program he was surprised but got really giddy

was one of the demons who asked for your autograph

you gave him a sweet smile after he asked and he just- melted

man down man down

will want to spend lost of time with you and take you to ristorante six on fridays as his treat

you usually end up paying though which he feels really guilty about but you tell him its fine

youre an idol who is loaded to the chest, youve got nothing to lose KLSKADJHF

if you get hate in public he’s also the type to death glare but people dont really hate on you in public when youre w him bc he has a naturally scary aura

lowkey thought you wouldnt like him at first :(

if you start working on mv/music projects he’ll start cooking you meal and making sure you get enough water

will absolutely cook your favorite meal- or any meal in fact- if you request it

if you dont request anything he’ll just wing it and make something he think you’ll like kjskdhsf

Belphegor

couldnt care less  🧍

he thinks your voice is pretty nice tho

hears beel listening to your music once and agrees w him on you having a really nice voice

lowkey sing him to sleep

like its super cute

plus he thinks youre gorgeous?? like wow you rlly pretty

once tried rubbing your face bc he thought you were wearing makeup but when nothing came up on his thumb he muttered a small “wow” and hugged you

it was the cutest thing ever ohmy god KJSJDSIF

ever since that day hes obtained a habit of rubbing your face when he finds you stunning or at random moments

if you get hate in public he will literally murder the person?? but in like an alleyway or something

he’ll say something like “wait here” and walks toward a dark area to do his thang

when he comes back he’s covered in this red shit and you worry for him but he just glosses over it and takes you into a pillow shop LMAO

he is v protective over you

if you start working on mv/music projects he’ll occasionally help out but most of the time he’s sleeping so he doesnt really care 

sometimes he’ll give beat/lyric suggestions or help flim the mv but thats it  🧍  

++++

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[20rubixcubes]

enhypen as baristas

maknae line x gn!reader (comedy, fluff, mild angst)

~1.2k words ea (headcanons)

warnings: cursing

a/n: i just wrote this for funsies, please be mindful that there is heavy swearing in these headcanons (particularly in ni-ki’s part), so if that isn’t your taste, perhaps skip this one! other than that, the rest of this is pretty chill, so i hope you enjoy my shitposting. oh, and lmk if you like this enough to want part two with the hyung line 👀 just maybe i’ll do it

sunoo

was only recently employed as an afternoon shift employee and was both shocked and distressed after discovering the cafe didnt have an instagram

“what do you MEAN you dont have instagram??? how do we post selfies???” “sunoo we sell coffee” “NO ONE WANTS COFFEE JUNGWON THEY WANT CUTE BARISTAS”

starts an instagram for the cafe and takes aesthetic pictures of his latte art

his selfies get way more likes though

speaking of his latte art, he masters the skill like a week in and everyone else is incredibly jealous

their jealousy wears off when jungwon tells him that he has to start training the new apprentices

pretends he forgot how to do it for like a week but it hurts his pride so he begrudgingly agrees to train the apprentices instead

in his free time he can be found snapping pictures around the shop, eventually expanding to taking pictures of the others too

“sunghoon stop moving you look cute and i need to take a photo” “sunoo im holding hot milk” “does it look like i care beauty is pain sweetie”

other than that, he sometimes sits in the booths to snack on muffins and do his homework since he only comes in to the shop for about an hour during his school lunch break and on the weekends

you meet sunoo after applying for an apprenticeship, wanting to get a job before you finish high school and start college

seen as though jungwon looks like the boss, you approach him, nervous for your first shift

“i’m here for the apprenticeship program?” “oh yeah! one second!”

he trots off to the back room, leaving you standing awkwardly in the middle of the cafe

“SUNOO GET OFF JAY YOU HAVE AN APPRENTICE TO TRAIN” “*gasp* YOU MADE ME SMUDGE HIS LIPSTICK I'M QUITTING” “NO YOURE NOT GET OUT THERE RIGHT NOW”

the yelling pauses before who you presume is sunoo stomps through the back room door, a scowl on his face

he spots you, groaning loudly “are you the apprentice?”

“yes” you say meekly, guilty for seeming to ruin his shift

he gestures you to follow him behind the counter, pulling an apron out from under the sink and shoving it to your chest

its clear that hes pissed, yanking his tools out from the cupboards as you tie your apron behind your back quietly

“have you made coffee before?” “only instant coffee” “oh fantastic”

he seems to be getting more irritated by the minute before he takes a deep breath and starts directing you around the machines

“to do the art, you angle the mug like this and draw with the milk, but it wont show until it reaches the top so dont go crazy”

as if its nothing, he demonstrates by drawing a perfect swan in the milk, setting the latte down and dusting his hands off

“wow… thats amazing” “i know right? no one here appreciates me enough” “they should! this is the best i’ve ever seen”

he grins at your compliment, nodding with satisfaction and sending a wave of relief over you as you notice he looks less angry with you now

“um… im sorry if i interrupted whatever you were doing before” “oh, that? i was just doing jay’s makeup” “you like makeup? me too! i’ve never seen a boy interested in it though, thats really cool” you smile genuinely at him as he blinks in surprise

“really? you think its cool?” “definitely!”

you watch the gears turn in his head before he smiles widely, seeming to have come to some kind of revelation as he nods

“i like you.”

your cheeks heat up immediately, but before you can say anything in return, he starts calling out for jungwon, leaning over the counter

“JUNGWOOON, CAN WE HAVE THIS ONE?”

“well thats up to them” he looks up from the table hes wiping down, adjusting his apron as he walks over to the counter

“so youre all finished with the course? i hope sunoo wasnt too much for you”

“i wasnt! anyways, youre employed, okay?” “sunoo stop theyre just an apprentice”

he groans loudly, irritated once more as he whips his head to you

“you have to work here, ok? i said so, so come back and apply or i’ll be mad!”

you laugh at his antics and smile “i’ll see what i can do”

after jungwon pries sunoo off of your arm, you return your apron and leave the shop with a wave

“YOU BETTER COME BACK!” is the last thing you hear as you step out onto the street, the bell ringing to signal your exit

a week later, you return to the shop, slightly anxious that your new friend(?) might have forgotten about you

but this is quickly washed away when you hear a high pitched squeal from the counter

“JUNGWON! HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FORMS THEYRE HERE”

you laugh as you approach the counter, a teasing tone on your voice

“are you supposed to be talking to your boss like that?” “whats he gonna do? fire me? im the only one who can make coffee in this place” “true”

soon enough, jungwon comes out of his hiding place, his hands clasped together

“im really sorry to ask this but please, you have to work here, sunoo hasnt shut up about you all week and i dont know if i can stand him anymore, i’ll even pay you extra please dear god”

you give sunoo a look, only receiving an innocent smile and puppy eyes back

“sure, i’ll take the job!”

jungwon sighs in relief as sunoo begins jumping up and down, yelling something about having his own little baby to take care around the shop as you groan, covering your blushing face

once you have your hours established (sunoo made you take the same as all of his, but you did the nights instead of the afternoons on the weekends, to his displeasure), you get straight to working

… well, sort of

it was hard to get work done with sunoo pestering you around the clock

“you think im cute right?” “yes sunoo” “even though i have bags under my eyes? “yes sunoo” “you promise?” “yes sunoo” “good”

admittedly he is slightly of help when it comes to the more fiddly parts of making coffee, but every other second of the day he seems to be flirting nonstop

“can i kiss you?” “no” “why not” “sunoo we’ve been over this” “BEING AT WORK ISNT A VALID EXCUSE”

worn down after his incessant yelling all day, you find yourself snapping faster than usual

“we’re not even dating, sunoo! why would i kiss you!? just stop playing with my feelings already!”

for the first time since you’ve known him, sunoo goes quiet

“why not?”

“what are you talking about now sunoo?” “why arent we dating”

now its your turn to go quiet

“do you not like me?” “what? no, sunoo-” before you can reason with him, you watch him quickly rush away from you around the counter, slamming the break room door behind him with tears in his eyes

cursing to yourself, you ensure there are no customers to serve before quickly darting after him

after looking around a bit, you hear sniffling from the supply closet and knock on the door quietly

“sunoo?” “leave me alone!”

you sigh, taking a step back and turning on your heel to face the opposite direction, running a hand through your hair as you think

you spot a dog bed at your feet, suddenly remembering that jake usually keeps his dog supplies covered in dog hair in the closet

“sunoo arent you allergic to dogs?”

“... *sniffle* y-yeah”

after you persuade him to come out by mentioning that his face is going to get all puffy, he steps out, eyes glued to the floor as he looks away from you in shame

placing a hand on his shoulder, you speak to him softly

“sunoo, look at me”

he does, hesitantly, his eyes red and watery and, as you said, puffy and inflamed

despite this, you smile

“i do like you back”

his eyes start watering again, your heart skipping a beat in fear that you had said something wrong

“e-even if my face is all puffy and gross?” his voice wobbles, the tears filling his eyes giving him a sense of vulnerability as you sigh

“yes, even if your face is all puffy and gross”

he smiles at that, shutting his eyes cutely as you press a kiss to his cheek

“and theres your kiss”

he whines “i was supposed to do that!”

“you can do it after we finish work, okay?” “WORK STILL ISNT A VALID EXCUSE…. but maybe today just because i need to ice my face” “yeah you really should, can you even see?” “no not at all” “great”

jungwon

the previous manager left suddenly and jungwon was given a semi-forced promotion as he was the only employee with at least half of a brain cell

poor boy is stressed 24/7

doesnt get paid enough for this

“hey jungwon we ran out out of coffee bea-” “I ORDERED NEW ONES FOUR HOURS AGO NOW SHUT UP IM TRYING TO MAKE SURE THE BOSS DOESNT FIND JAKE’S DOG SHELTER IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET”

goes through hell every day just to make sure the others dont burn the cafe down

is supposed to be on the morning shift but he stays until the afternoon

in his rare moments of downtime, he likes to go around and water the hanging plants around the shop

is that one vine where the mom listens to nicki minaj for the first time and screams “no” over and over whenever ni-ki gets control of the cafe music

“RIKI NISHIMURA WHAT IS THAT ON THE SPEAKERS” “ITS OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ARIANA GRANDE” “TURN IT OFF THIS IS NOT PG13” “SHUT THE FUCK UP GRANDPA”

is only 16 but acts like a 32-year-old father going through a midlife crisis

lifts boxes of supplies all day yet his joints are famously brittle

“hey jungwon did you hear glass shattering too?” “sorry jay that was my back” “you need to invest in physical therapy” “maybe if i wasnt paying for property damage every other week 😊”

you meet jungwon when you drop into the cafe for a croissant and a coffee before your class starts

usually you come at night maybe an hour before closing so you had never seen him before, but here you were watching this cute but clearly stressed boy scramble around the shop carrying boxes of supplies to the back

trying not to be creepy, you sigh, turning back to your phone after watching him for a solid five minutes straight

as you do, you hear a crash coming from what you assume is the supply closet followed by a disgruntled groan

pausing, looking around at the other customers typing away at their laptops and waiting for another staff member to go check on the boy, you stand up as you discern that he must be the only one working and hesitantly go to see if he’s okay

“hello? are you okay?” you peer through the door, your eyes widening at the sight of him rubbing his head with a wince on his features, supplies strewn around him at his feet and a box knocked over beside him

“ah… um, yes, i’m okay, sorry if i disturbed you with that noise…” he smiles bashfully, pulling himself back onto his feet

“do you need help with all of that stuff?”

he opens his mouth to protest, not wanting to have to ask for help from a customer, but after seeing the amount of crap off of the shelves, he realises that there is no way in hell he’s going to be able to clean all of it up alone before his shift ends

“um… is that okay?” his cheeks flush with embarrassment as you smile

“sure!”

over the next couple of hours you two establish a little system of bagging the spilt supplies and passes them to eachother to put in boxes, chatting never ceasing as you discover that you actually have a lot of things in common

“since you work here, what’s your favourite kind of coffee?” “i like lattes… i cant stand bitter things” “me too! my friend drinks espressos though” “ditch them”

you also find out that he started being homeschooled after becoming the manager as he doesnt have time to attend normal school

the both of you find yourselves laughing nonstop, having fun in eachother’s company

so much so that you end up late for school

“oh shit! i completely missed my first class”

guilty for making you late, he offers to take you

“i can take you?” “you drive?” “well….. not exactly”

once sunoo and ni-ki arrive to care for the shop, he takes you out to the car park, pulling a spare helmet out of his backpack and securing it on your head before giving your head a pat as he gets onto his scooter

“you look cute” “i look like a bug” “a cute bug”

once you get to school, face red after having to hold onto him the entire time, you hop off and pass him the helmet with a shy smile

“thanks for driving me” you mutter, brushing off imaginary dirt from your shirt as you do your best to avoid eye contact, your face still flushed and heart racing

is it possible to develop a crush on someone this quickly???

jungwon is so cute that he makes it possible, you surmise

“of course” he mirrors your nervous smile, a blush finding its way to his own cheeks

as you bow and spin on your heel to start walking inside, he stops you

“wait!”

“what is it?” you turn to him, your heart still thundering against your ribcage at the fond expression he has plastered on his features

“actually… can i pick you up? after school?”

when you pause, your face growing hotter and hotter, he begins to sputter

“i-i’m really sorry, its fine if not! that was way too forward, i just really like you and- oh god that was even more forward- um-” “okay” “yeah i’m sorry that was a stupid questio- wait, what?”

before he can say anything else, your smile widens

“i’ll see you later, okay? don’t be late!” you wave, skipping into the building with a fluffy feeling in your chest

with an awkward wave, jungwon watches you leave, his mouth wide open in shock before a grin replaces his expression

getting back into his seat, the lovestruck smile never leaving his face as he drives off, he begins to count down the minutes until he gets to see you again

ni-ki

works the afternoon shift

technically an apprentice but he gets paid and has been there forever so basically an employee at this point

or he would be if he ever actually made coffee

he sits with the work phone all morning and chooses the music

perpetually dancing to 7 rings by ariana grande (look up his cover. youre welcome in advance)

jungwon and jay scream at him to at least do the mopping to which he complies, but not without performing a whole ass concert with it

once they saw him twirl and dip the mop

eventually they just told him to go back to curating the music because he was scaring customers away and they were losing business

he was horrible at cleaning anyway

“hey jungwon i think i got window cleaner in your plant” “im firing you” “i dont even go here” “STOP QUOTING MEAN GIRLS AND FIX THE DAMAGE YOUVE CAUSED”

you meet ni-ki while youre drinking your coffee at a booth and he plays your favourite obscure indie song so you have to compliment his taste and get to talking

he plays your favourite songs whenever youre in the shop and audibly hisses at anyone who tries to change it

makes choreography to said songs at home and tries to impress you by casually belting it out by your booth

when you compliment his dancing and ask how long hes been practicing that choreography hes all like “oh hahaha it was just casual freestyle super easy peasy”

(hes been practicing for two weeks)

thought he was being super obvious by doing these things but apparently nOT because you have not caught the hint at all and hes getting impatient

asks for advice from the others begrudgingly

“give them flowers” “jay thats so boring” “do you want to use one of my dogs? everyone loves dogs” “wtf jake since when have you had more than one dog” “make them latte art with a heart on it” “sunoo ive literally never made a coffee in my life” “why dont you just ask them out like a normal perso-” “shut the fuck up grandpa thats so weird no one does that”

eventually he settles on sunoo’s idea of making you latte art and he embarks on his journey to make his first coffee

rather than focusing on the actual taste, sunoo tells him to just do whatever so that he can show him how to do the art

“why is it green ni-ki” “you said to do whatever” “and your first idea was to make poison? idk if this is the best idea if youre trying to ask this person out” “shut up and pass me the milk”

burns his hands on the steaming milk jug at least fifteen times and ends up with so many bandaids on his fingers

despite how stiff the bandages are on his hands, he eventually manages to make a sort-of legible heart

“it looks like africa” “have you ever had steamed milk poured on your eyes sunoo?”

poor ni-ki waits for you all day, his heart leaping every time the bell on the door rings only to roll his eyes when it isnt you

he even stays past his shift so youd better let him take you on a date or hes quitting

when you finally arrive he trips over the bucket at his feet he was using to clean and spills dirty water all over his pants

“omg ni-ki are you okay what happened” *five octaves higher* “NOTHING I'M COMPLETELY FINE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”

by the time he’s finished cleaning himself up (and by that i mean fixing his hair in the mirror for twenty minutes) he takes a deep breath and walks over to you, somewhat cold latte in hand

“um,” he clears his throat, his face growing red as he slides the mug towards you “i made this for you”

“aw thanks ni-ki! why is it green” “........its matcha?”

youre slightly suspicious but you look back to the mug and slowly realise that the “drawing” slightly resembles a heart, smiling a little bit to yourself

when you look back to him, youre a little confused as to why hes just standing there

“is something wrong?” you press the mug to your lips, taking a sip

“o-uh uh actually, i wanted to ask if… if you would uh maybe sort of go on a date with me”

you can only smile

“yes, but…”

his heart starts beating faster, watching you anxiously

you stand up, taking the notepad and pen from his apron pocket and scribbling your phone number

“only if you promise to learn how to make actual coffee” you wink, handing him the notepad and sauntering out of the shop

hes stood there dumbstruck, stars in his eyes at the slip of paper in his hand

but then he realises: he has a new mission

rushing to the back room, he slams the door open

“grandpa, i need you to teach me how to make coffee right now” “literally why do i pay you”

with your promise in mind, the others see him work more diligently at the counter than they ever have before

“wow youre actually working today?” “shut up i need to figure out how to do this butterfly before i pry my eyes out with a fork” “haha funny joke ni-” “did i stutter”

at the end of the week, he forces heeseung (the cafe’s best coffee maker) and sunoo (the cafe’s best latte artist) to judge his latte

“this is… surprisingly good” heeseung peers into the mug, smiling at the swan ni-ki created with the latte foam as sunoo grumbles “dont tell me im gonna have to start competing with this kid, it probably tastes gross” “it tastes amazing too” “im quitting”

with his coworkers’ notes in mind, he finally works up the nerve to send you a quick message telling you to come into the shop

when you arrive the next day, ni-ki greets you and immediately gets to work, making sure to stand as close as humanly possible to your booth so he can show off his newly acquired coffee making skills

with you only inches away, he does make a mistake and spill milk on his shirt after looking at you and not his hands for a second too long, but you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt when he sets the mug in front of you

“wow! this heart is perfect!”

you smile, looking up to him “did you seriously learn how to do latte art just so you could take me on a date?” “… y-yeah, and?”

you can only chuckle as you press the mug to your lips, readying yourself to drink liquid dirt…

“this is… really good!” you grin, taking another sip and putting the mug down on its saucer

“i think you’ve definitely earned yourself a date… or two”

at this news, ni-ki’s face lights up, shoving the urge to scream down his throat before nodding stiffly to try and contain his excitement with a strained “cool” escaping his lips

“are you okay ni-ki?” “yes just give me one second”

he quickly scrambles to the break room, a moment of silence wafting through the store before a shrill scream fills the air

eyes wide, you turn to jay, who had been manning the till, after hearing him burst into laughter

“what is he doing?”

“we told him the freezer was sound proof”

[sunqyu]

~ Treasure realizing they love you and the first time they say it pt 1.

Request 1: “ hmm im all in cute feelings, so FIRST I LOVE YOUS with treasure reaction thingy, would be super sweet 🙊💗🌼🌼 “ - anon

Request 2: “ i love your writing! treasure realizing theyre in love with their s/o🥺 “ - anon

These requests are both so adorable and fitting so I decided to combine them. Hope you enjoooy. Also, buckle up ‘cause ITS A LONG ONE AGAIN. Got carried away as usual so it’ll be in two parts. K BYE <3 - Nova

Hyunsuk

realizing it

it doesn’t take much to make Hyunsuk like you

but to actually fall in love with you

that’s a different story

he’s alone at the studio, trying to get his verse right

every time he fixes something he didn’t like, he notices something else

he’s sat at his desk, elbows next to the keyboard

head hanging down with his fingers tangled in his hair

a sharp inhale

a shaky exhale

then his phone lights up, a message from you, asking if he’s home yet and how his day went

2.30am, he reads

he starts typing, frantically, on and on as the chaos in his head makes it’s way onto his phonescreen

only for him to stop and delete it all because he knows what he really wants to send you

but it’s too late and he doesn’t want to be a burden, you need your sleep too

when he looks up and sees his own reflection in the, now dimly lit, screen of his computer

another sharp inhale

‘Not so great to be honest, can I come to your place?’ sent.

on the way to your house he’s still thinking about turning back

but all those thoughts are long gone the moment you open the door

your eyes beaming at him, messy bun wiggling side to side and you’re wrapped up in a blanket

his heart melts as he feels the tightness in his temples and neck from the stress subside

‘Hi- I missed you.’

you probably didn’t notice but he almost said something else

he snickers to himself, that would’ve been a bit early

saying it

definitely the type to say it without realizing what he’s saying

you two are getting groceries

which, even though it’s not a special thing, is always so much fun

this time you ended up playing hide and seek

it wasn’t really discussed, you just lost Hyunsuk at one point and decided to turn it into a game instead of calling him

which means it’s your turn now

it had been over 20 minutes and he was getting worried

very impressed with your skills

but worried

in the end he decided to call you

to his surprise he hears your ringtone behind him

he turns around

the ringtone is still behind him

he turns around

what the-

he turns around but really fast this time

his eyes meet yours a second before you start dying from laughter

‘How long where you doing that for-?’ he laughed in self-pity and disbelieve

when he finds out you never left he sighs

‘Ugh- I love you.’ he mutters inbetween chuckling

for a second he freezes, a thousand things running through his mind

but y’know what? fuck it.

‘Yea- it’s true. I love you.’

Jihoon

realizing it

also seems like someone who does not fall in love quickly

mostly because he’s not looking for it, he doesn’t feel the need to be in love to be happy

but once he does

oh boy

so when you came in his life he wasn’t thinking about a potential relationship

or wondering if you two would be compatible

he simply enjoyed your presence and you two got closer as friends

because of this the moment he realizes he has feelings for you will be overwhelming for him

wasn’t ready

you weren’t even doing anything different than usual

just eating in the yg cafetaria, both rambling about things

subjects that made people walking by look up because they didn’t get the full story

out of nowhere he fell hard

the mechanism that’s supposed to be his brain malfunctioning

croissant in mid-air

it all just made sense

the reason why he could never be sad around you

the reason that made your eyes twinkle more than anyone elses

the reason you saying his name sounds different than when anyone else says it

the reason he’s now sitting with his mouth wide open staring at you without really looking at you

‘Y-yea, I was listening. Ofcourse I was.’

saying it

probably says it on a special occasion

not planned or anything

it just seemed fitting in that moment

he realized before you two were even dating so it’s not like there’s any doubt left

still, expressing it feels like a very big step

it was quite a warm autumn evening

you were sitting on the floor at the salon table

filled with food from different places

‘I’m so proud of us.’ he beamed

you had just finished a very important essay which is going to be a great advantage when looking for an internship

he had just ended filming their third music video

‘I wish I could show you, you’re gonna love it.’ he mumbled before grabbing another bite

it looked like a feast but takeout-style

you continue eating, enjoying each others company

all the windows were open because of the nice weather

a soft breeze would ruffle the curtains

the subtle sound mixing well with the music

Jihoon had looked for just the right playlist for almost half an hour

and it couldn’t have been more perfect

the warm light of the candles was accompanied by a desklight

you got it out of your room because the ceiling light wasn’t cozy but the candles weren’t enough to see each other’s face (or the food)

the topic slowly drifts to more nostalgic memories

dates to the beach, your weekend in Japan, meeting his friends

‘You know what’s funny? out of all of those memories the one that is most special to me was a really simple one.’ something in his expression changed and you sat calmly, waiting for him to continue

‘It was a few days before I asked you out on our first date. We were at yg, eating something.’ he grabbed another bite of food, chuckling at your impatient response

‘I don’t know what it was but out of nowhere I realized I was in love with you.’ the words came out while he looked at his plate, looking up only a second before he continued

‘I still do. I love you-, even more each day.’

Yoshi

realizing it

there’s not really a specific moment where it hit him

his love for you grew gradually

which is exactly how he liked it

from the moment he met you he was never nervous around you

he never felt like he wasn’t good enough or like he had to try harder

everything made sense from day one

there would be moments where is heart could burst from it

like the time you tried to fix his broken jeans with a youtube tutorial

or when you first fell asleep on his chest

the worst was when he couldn’t see you for a few days

as if the love in him grew and grew but he couldn’t give it to you

he just felt like he was going to explode sometimes

the other boys would notice very easily

‘I know it’s only a few days, you guys are right.’

his mind didn’t listen to his own words

‘I’m fine- I promise.’

but if it’s a few more hours he might not be

he would go to bed quite early these days

after he noticed that trying to distract himself wasn’t working

he’d scroll through photo’s you took together

and photo’s he took of you

he’d sent you another text, hoping your phone was off so he wouldn’t wake you up

a strange mix of happiness and sadness

luckily once he realizes his sadness is temporary and it only shows how special you are to him he’ll be able to focus on the happiness

thinking about all the memories you’ve made and will make in the future as he slowly drifts to sleep

saying it

finally

finally he was going to see you again

it was only like three days but boy was he DEPRIVED

he was the first done packing

the first in the car

the first to run into the dorm and put his bag away

aaaand the first to run out the door again

you two had been texting all day about movies to watch and all the stories he wanted to tell

his knee bumped up and down in the bus

he couldn’t remember the last time he was this hyped

only three more stops

he gazed out the window chuckling at himself

who would’ve thought someone could make him feel like this?

his hand clutched on to the souvenir he got you

two more stops

an old couple got in

yoshi always had a weakness for happy old couple

but now especially

he smiled politely at them

admiring how in love they looked

that would be you in the future, he thought to himself

one more stop

his smile was still on his face

recognizing restaurants you two went to

clothing stores where you complimented his style

and then

the bus stop

it’s the one where you two met

he still can’t believe he managed to strike up a conversation with you that day

but it must’ve been meant to be

he looked around frantically as soon as his foot hit the sidewalk

the sound of your shoes on the floor came closer

he turned to face the sound and before he could even see your face he was holding you in his arms again

tightly as if to tell the world you were his

a deep sigh left his mouth before he mumbled into your hair

‘I love you- I missed you so much. I’m so happy to see you.’

Junkyu

realizing it

‘stop being weird-’ ‘says who?’

you and Junkyu were laying on his bed

both with your limbs spread out, staring at the ceiling

you weren’t sure how long you’d been there

he hummed along to the song you just put on

before being interrupted by the sound of his own stomach

‘Oh wow- sounds like it’s time for lunch.’ 

you nodded in agreement as you grabbed your phone

he started thinking about what to get, watching you tap away on your phone

your hair was laying in a circle around your head

a shadow from the ceilinglight behind your phone over your eyes

he noticed how you pupils dilated as they adjusted to the light everytime your moved your phone a bit

your eyes are cool af, woah

he turned to his side, still looking at your features while you scrolled on your phone

the song changed and this time it was you humming along

your voice is so nice, he thought to himself

his dreamy moment was interrupted by you looking at him

oh right- food

‘Uh- I want uh-..’

to his surprise you tell him you already ordered

‘What- what about me?’

you listed the things you ordered for him, saying how you definitely knew what he wanted by now

he was shocked

if you aren’t the SWEETEST MOST THOUGHTFUL HUMAN BEING

then he wouldn’t know who is

his dreamy moment continued, even though you were staring right back this time, confused

he never felt like this before

like he wants to fast-forward and sit in a rocking chair with you, grumbling about youth

wait

fuck

this is love isn’t it?

saying it

he promised

he promised he wasn’t going to fall asleep during the movie

but look at him now

soft deep breathing, lips slightly parted as he was laying against you

even though you didn’t want to wake him up you had already seen this movie with friends and the remote was all the way on the table

you reached forward in slow motion

slowly

sloooooowly

Junkyu moved, rubbing his cheek against your shoulder before mumbling under his breath and laying still again

that was close

the journey continues

slooooooooooowly

you were only 10cm away from reaching the remote

‘N-no hh.. stay h- ple ase.’

a dilemma

lean forward a bit more or sit back and just let the man sleep?

bit more

sloooooooooooooooowly

your fingertips grazed the remote and it wobble side to side

‘Babe?-’ that definitely sounded more awake then earlier

but when you look at him you see he’s definitely not fully awake yet

‘Come back to beeed-’ he whined

bed? boy, we’re on the couch

you didn’t mention it and instead quickly grabbed the remote before you sat back down a little faster

‘Th-nk yo-’ he held you tighter

‘Love you-’

wait what?

Mashiho

realizing it

seems like a hopeless romantic to me

so might realize quite fast

this man has been fantasizing and imagining his future love life for so long

not to the point where he’s yanking flowers apart to find out if you love him or not

but he sees the beauty in so many things

enjoys the warmth of the sun on his skin

likes to watch people going about their day and thinking what their life is like

leaves sweet notes on receipts for hardworking employees to find when they come clean his table

little things but a lot of things

he has an eye for beauty and knows exactly how to use it for his own happiness

so he quickly noticed how happy you made him

it was again, the little things

but so so many

how your pinky finger was always a little higher than the rest when your hands were relaxed

how the cute baby hairs on the back of your neck would always leave your ponytail within minutes of putting your hair up

how your foot would bounce up and down when you sat with your legs crossed, even if there was no music

how every time you called him cute he had to keep himself from calling you cute because he knew you’d hide your face in your hands right after

the way you sat against the mirror when you came to watch him practice

sleeves of his sweater to long for your arms as you clapped after each song

loving you wasn’t something that happens at one point

it’s built within him since the moment you met

it just grows and grows as you take care of it with your cuteness and love

saying it

so much snow

everywhere

the snowflakes were most visible under the light of the streetlanterns

appearing and disappearing as they went back into the dark nightsky

the crisp sound from under your shoes was relaxing

you and Mashiho had a snowballfight after finishing about 20 snowangels each

it had gotten dark before you knew it so now you were walking home

his arm around your shoulder, rubbing softly to keep you warm

you felt the cold water through your gloves but sharing bodyheat was all you needed

both of you had soft smiles on your faces, walking in content silence

and you were also just EXHAUSTED so the quiet evening was a nice change

in some of the houses you walked by you could already see christmaslights and trees

he noticed you looking

‘Lets get our own decorations soon.’ 

you nodded happily, leaning against him a little more

this was going to be your first christmas together

you never expected to celebrate it with someone this year

the idea of setting up a tree together and the coziness it would bring made him feel warm inside

you discussed fun things you could do for christmas

ways to surprise the boys or what you wanted to eat

he listened to you talk about memories and future plans

when he noticed how clearly he was already involved in those future plans he couldn’t help himself

‘Hey-’ he gave your shoulder a squeeze to make you look at him

‘I love you, so so much-‘

Jaehyuk

realising it

it was the first time you were going to meet the rest of Jaehyuk’s group

a little nervous but mostly excited you walked to the front door

he told you to text him when you got there so he could see you before the rest did

a few second after you saw he read your message the door opens

you get a kiss on the lips, a tight hug and a kiss on your forehead all after each other

he wanted to show you love but also wanted to mentally prepare you for what was about to him

don’t get him wrong, he loves the other members with all his heart but he could imagine them being a little.... overwhelming.

before he could even ask you if you were nervous the yells from the living room began

curious heads peeking out from behind his back, 11 hands reaching out to you as they all wanted to introduce themselves first

you could make out some teasing to Jae followed by someone’s voice trying to keep the peace

he looked at you with slight worry in his face, only to be greeted by a cheerful smile

before he knew it you were bashing out jokes left and right

even standing up for him a few times in the funniest ways

he couldn’t be happier

so many people he loved in one room

one in particular though

he took a moment to sit back against the couch and look around in awe

so happy

after a few hours and some good food it was time for you to go home

he watched you end your conversation with Asahi

who, to his surprise, seemed like he didn’t want the conversation to end

you waved goodbye to everyone and got loads of no’s and why’s in return

‘It’s late guys, she still has to go home.’

saying it

you still heard the whining when you and Jae reached the front door

you talked a few more minutes about how much you enjoyed yourself and the funny and awkward moments you two noticed

‘Apparently you don’t only make me happy but my friends too.’

you beamed at the compliment

even though you enjoyed the night as well, the validation that they did too meant a lot to you

‘So I’ve been approved?’ ‘Clearly.’

he insisted on walking you home 

you discussed the evening even more

he explained more about their personalities and memories he has with them which now made so much sense to you

your fingers were intertwined, arms swinging back and forth playfully

for some reason he felt a lump in his throat

but he couldn’t quite figure out why

it even distracted him from your conversation a few times

which is very unlike him so you noticed quickly

when you stopped walking to ask him what was wrong

looking him in the eye to show you you were not taking nothing for an answer

the determined look in your eyes made him realize what it was

what he had been holding back

but he didn’t say it

not yet

after a few minutes you reached your frontdoor

‘Thank you for the great evening, I’m sure they’ll want you back as soon as possible.’

he leaned in for a goodnight’s kiss, holding you close a little tighter than usual

for a second he pulled back

‘I love you-’

before connecting your lips again

[shhh-no-ones-home]

december 18 - chris motionless

title: die hard for the holidays

++++

prompt: Person A has secret feelings for person B. person B has secret feelings for person A. one of them suggests having dinner together for the holidays since neither of them will be spending time with their families and all their other friends are busy

request from: @svintsandghosts

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou 

@xyours-eternallyx @joeynihil 

++++

i looked over his newest Instagram post and sighed. god was i that desperate? simping over my best friend? of course i was, but we'd known each other long enough that i knew nothing would ever come of it. when my phone dinged it almost startled me, prompting me to look up at the new text notification. it was my mother. i sighed, opening it and reading it.

"dads sick, doctor says its viral so we wont be able to do Christmas this year. i hope you and your siblings can get together to do something else but if not that's okay. we both hope you have a blessed Christmas anyway and will be mailing gifts out in the next week. love you."

i hummed to myself before answering her.

"hope dad gets better soon and send him my best. i don't see any of them making plans to get together but i guess we'll see. ill mail gifts too if you're okay with that and hopefully ill see you in the new year. love you both."

i closed my phone and set it upside down on my chest, rubbing my hands over my face.

"so much for getting out of the house."

i said to myself. then my phone dinged again, making me roll my eyes in annoyance. to my surprise though it was a text from Chris.

"mom cancelled Christmas this year cause they won a cruise lol. you doing anything?"

i sat up abruptly and typed back.

"my dads sick so mine was cancelled too. when and where do you want me? lol"

i waited patiently for a second before seeing a new message.

"hope he gets better soon. but how about Christmas eve, dinner at my place?"

i nodded quickly to myself.

"ill be there."

---

when the day finally came i wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. we'd hung out millions of times but this was the first time we'd be together for Christmas alone. usually we all had a party with the band and other friends but that was pushed to new years. lets just say i was beyond nervous. plus he told me to dress nice, whatever that meant. no matter what it meant to him, here i was stood in front of my full body mirror, looking over the sparkling blue velvet dress i had on.

"this is too fancy."

i said, moving to my closet. as i started flipping through things i heard my phone buzz. it was Chris.

"you on your way?"

i looked to the time. shit, it was almost six.

"getting my shoes on now. ill be there in fifteen."

i replied. so much for changing. i grabbed a Christmas jumper and pajama pants just in case and shoved them in a bag, pulling my heels on and running out the door. the car ride was fairly quiet, apart from the light Christmas music playing through the radio and my complains about the snow. i wish i would've known it was supposed to snow but it was a little late for that i guess.

as i pulled into his apartment complex parking lot i could see his Christmas tree through the open window. it looked nice, covered in colorful lights and shiny ornaments. i got out of my car and walked quickly across the lot and up the stairs to the second floor, knocking on his door and shivering as the snow flew around me. when he opened the door he offered a wide smile.

"hey! how's it going?"

he asked as he pulled me in for a hug. i breathed in deeply, trying to warm up.

"I'm good, and you?"

i asked as he let me into his apartment. i still felt over dressed, even seeing him in his button down and tie, the two peaking out from under his sweater.

"oh ya know, same old same old. i hope you're hungry, cause dinners about ready."

he said excited and i laughed.

"you know me, never not hungry."

i said and he sent me a knowing look.

"how about you go sit, and ill bring it out."

he said, motioning to the made up table. i nodded.

"you sure you dont want help with anything?"

i asked and he shook his head.

"of course not, you get to be the guest this time, now go relax."

he instructed.

"okay, okay, im going."

i said as he pointed, a demanding look on his face.

---

after dinner we both worked on dishes and things before moving to the couch, the lights all out except the tree as he looked for a movie to watch.

"im glad we could get together for this."

he said, clicking the remote and i smiled.

"you and me both. i think this is the first year i would've been alone since moving out of my parents place."

he laughed a little bit.

"you and me both. even when im not home i still usually have the band to be with."

i nodded solemnly.

"speaking of which, how are they all doing? i feel like i haven't talked to any of them in a while."

i said and he shrugged.

"theyre as good as they always are, keeping busy thats for sure. but youll get to see them for new year."

he mentioned and i nodded.

"yeah i guess so."

it was quiet for a moment, and i looked over him, his focus still on the tv.

"got any suggestions?"

he asked and i hummed.

"uh, no, not really."

i said bashfully, catching his eye when he turned his head with a frown. i guess i wasnt exactly making it subtle that i was staring at him huh? oh well.

"how about die hard?"

he asked and i laughed.

"oh yeah, a christmas classic."

i said sarcastically as he clicked on it.

"you know it."

he said, setting the remote on the coffee table, settling back into the couch. i thought for a second before slipping my arm into his and resting my head on his shoulder.

"you cold?"

he asked and i nodded, looking up as he pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and down over me.

"thanks."

i said, getting comfortable against him again. we sat like that for most of the movie, until i heard him yawn, then he moved to rest his head against mine. i smiled to myself, sliding my hand slowly into his as it rested against my knee. when the movie finally ended neither of us moved.

"ya know, it looks pretty bad out there, maybe you should stay."

he said, never once looking away from the tv. i could feel a small smile making its way to my lips as we sat there cuddled together on the couch.

"you sure? i wouldnt want to be an inconvenience."

i said, feeling his head lift off mine and prompting me to look at him. he squeezed my hand.

"you're never an inconvenience. and besides i wouldnt want you to get stuck in the snow or anything."

i smiled at him.

"i guess i cant argue with that logic, huh."

i confirmed and he nodded his head once.

"great, we can watch another movie then and then go to bed together."

he said, freezing for a second.

"i mean, uh, not together together. but, like, uh-"

he said, flustered, tripping over his words. i pressed a finger to his lips gently.

"its okay chris. i get what you mean."

i said and he sighed.

"fuck it, i did mean together."

he said, slipping his hand out of mine and bring it up to cup my face. he pushed forward and kissed me fervently. a thousand things rushed through my brain at once as i melted into his touch but at the moment none of them mattered. all that mattered was that he felt the same. when he pulled away i didnt open my eyes just yet, sitting there trying to engrave into my memory exactly what he felt and tasted like. when i opened my eyes he was staring down at me, his lips sucked in like he messed something up.

"wow."

i said softly, laughing a little bit.

"im sorry, i shouldn't have done that."

he said, looking down. i shook my head.

"like hell."

i said, making him look to me in shock. i grabbed his face and kissed him again, his hand moving to the back of my head as our mouths moved together. when we both pulled away for air we panted lightly, smiling at each other like idiots.

"it took ya long enough."

i said, making him laugh.

"merry christmas y/n."

he said, stroking my cheek lightly with his thumb and i could feel a blush rising to my face.

"merry christmas chris."

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[msiopao]

Sera with the Members

a/n: mark is in this because dream is now a fixed unit and he’s part of the lineup!!!!!!

WATERMELON ADDICT

was the person who made Sera comfortable since he reminded her of home

always asks if canadian bacon is better than american bacon

‘i dONt kNoW, sERa! mEAT iS mEaT!’

she didnt actually cry on stage when he was leaving but she cried when it was just the two of them and he recorded for the last time

it was her idea for hyuck to buy him a big bottle of ketchup

CANNOT believe that mark was a churchboy and ends up acting up in music videos

the duality SCARES her

calls her finny since her name is serafina

sera has her own room but she has an extra bed so he sleeps in there when he spends the night

learned this watermelon shake to help mark’s hangover

english all the time

ever since they met, mark has always placed his elbow on her head due to her short height

sera learned this fried rice recipe from her mom and he goes over to their dorm for breakfast

‘mark bls dont touch anything. get out of the kitchen and go watch tv or something’

always brings up his messed up eggs

‘gordon spitting facts tho’

whenever he feels too overworked or too pressured, sera has always made it a point to come over to their dorm and have a movie night with just the 2 of them with his favorite snacks and drinks

LONJIN

omg these two

sera is typically not mean but when renjun starts, she becomes ruthless

always calling out his fake personality

‘everyone, don’t believe him! he’s 2 faced!’

‘what are you even saying! you act like you’re so quirky and giggly but you yeeted jisung into the wall last night!’

‘YAH!’

so yea, they fight a lot

but its very playful and they know where that line is drawn and not cross it

he talks to her about space and aliens and she listens to every word bc renjun sounds so confident and happy whenever he talks about that stuff

they’re actually 10 days apart but sera acts like she’s 10 years older than him

‘IS THAT HOW YOU TALK TO SOMEONE OLDER?!’

‘okay, granny’

always in awe whenever renjun draws and paints and she really likes seeing him in his element

unbeknowst to her, he actually draws her a lot

wants to frame all of his work 

they go out to the roof and stargaze

he steals her airpods just to watch her go crazy

once hid her phone in the fridge

lives for his vocals

cannot believe how much he’s grown from chewing gum era to now

her heart strings were tugged when he cried in dnyl

renjun always says that he wishes sera was born as his little sister bc they act like they’re siblings

EYESMILE PRINCE

hmm

so their is kinda complicated

sera’s closest to him than all the members bc 1, he was her first friend and 2, he has cats

before, when they still went to school, her and jeno always went together

yes, jaemin and jeno and her went together in the beginning

but jaemin was in the hospital and recovering so it just became them 2

also, she goes to visit his parents so she can see his cats

this results to his parents and older sister adoring her

‘bongsik, nal, and seol are my kids’ - lee sera, 00 line vlive

she always craves for attention and when it isnt given bc he’s too busy playing, she just walks into his room and sits on his lap while he plays

tries to get his attention by saying stuff but he teases her by acting like she aint there

‘fine, i’ll go to jaemin’

jeno wasnt supposed to be blonde for the comeback but they were just messing around and next thing they knew, jeno’s tips were bleach blonde

when shes on that,,,, time,,,,, hes the only one in the dorm she listens to

not even johnny, who’s practically her father

collabs with her mukbang show and jsmr

he mentions her like at least once whenever he has lives that she’s not in

steals his glasses all the time just to watch him wander around with this confused adorable face

hugs are so cute w these two and czennies see them hugging in videos and she can barely reach his shoulder 

forehead kisses and sweater paws for daysss

NANA

drop dead gorgeous boy

shes not safe from jaemin’s affections

*cue jeno glaring at him for stealing her*

we all know how much he loves the members and whenever sera breathes, he busts his uwus

takes so many pictures of her

sera buys him lots of lip balms and carmex but he always forgets to put them on

sera hates peaches but she buys him peach flavored sweets whenever she sees them

‘NANA!!’

sera is also an attention whore so she always runs to him and wraps her arms around him and he squeals by how cute she is

bought him an expensive camera for his birthday

has a polaroid picture of him in her clear phone case

actually, her phone background is an old picture of predebut sera, jeno, and jaemin

one of the rare moments where she cried was when she found out that jaemin wouldnt be in a few comebacks bc he was sick

kept visiting him and jaemin cannot repay her enough

the dorm is full of ryan and winnie plushies from the sofa, a tiny winnie plush on the corner of the island counter, and their bedrooms

sera is the one who always throws away the his satanic drink even though it’s still full

‘yah, you need to think about your health and if it your body is tired, dont fight it by trying to drink these to keep your energy’

sleepovers with them are often and sometimes found sleeping on the spare bed in her room

FULL SUN

our big babie

oh boi when he got hurt

sera called him twice a day, one in the morning and one at night, just to check if it’s still hurting and making sure he’s resting

forever remembers when he dressed up as a girl 

‘you see, i’m not the only girl member. dongsuk is just on hiatus right now’

his name on her phone is ‘man-child’

when he went on tour with 127, she really missed him

like she missed him so much that she kept posting on instagram for him to hurry back home

still mad that he moved dorms to be with the older members

when sera got sick, she made him sing ‘no longer’ to her like a lullaby

when he asks sera to do something for him, usually she says no because he asks her to do ridiculous things but his aegyo always convinces her

thinks his color amblyopia is so fascinating and adds more into the unique traits he has

another attention giver and she loves hugging him because he gives really warm hugs

one time, jeno and sera had a fight and it got so bad that hyuck had to be called and he was the only one who got to talk some sense in sera to talk to jeno

but the legendary markhyuck summer fight was resolved because sera yelled at them and cried since they are best friends and they shouldnt be like that to each other

they made up since ‘wow sera cried’ and ‘the members are ready to beat us up if we continue this’

and by members, like all members, including the older ones

sera knows how much being the moodmaker title burdens him so she tries to ease that burden by talking to him just the two of them

DOLPHIN CHILD

look how adorable he is UWU

he is 1/2 of sera’s sons

like she’s whipped for him and jisung and he knows it too

‘noona~’

‘yes, i will give you the world, the stars, and the moon’

thinks his laugh is endearing and is sad that it isnt that high-pitched anymore since his voice got a little deeper

cannot believe how much he’s grown too

when he speaks in chinese, sera thinks its the cutest thing 

‘can we give his scalp some rest? its not healthy for the boy’

trust fund babies

you know how chenle has 3 airpods?

sera went through 4 phones since she keeps losing or breaking it

dont ask how bc shes as clumsy as namjoon

had this phase where he wouldn’t stop back-hugging his noona and she just left it alone

always buys him snacks and cooks him a lot of food bc she thinks he’s too skinny and wants him to be healthy and gain some fat on those cheeks again

on their break, she went to china with jisung and her lock screen is a picture of her and chenle holding his nephew

triggered her baby fever

czennies ship them but he makes it clear she’s the older sister he’s never had

nct dream took a vacation to her hometown and she bought them basketball tickets so chenle could see his idol

his mom practically adopted her since she goes over to his apartment all the time whenever the others are getting too much for her

she misses him so much its not even funny

JISUNG PWARK

our maknae is growing up :(

sera had the whole family sit and watch the first episode of dancing high

so proud of her boy

she called him during the show and it was shown and heard about her telling him to take care of himself and to not be too hard on his body and that she’s waiting for him at home

as the youngest member overall, sera babies him the most

he obvs takes advantage of it and she used to cuddle him to sleep when he was younger bc he had a hard time sleeping

again, cooks for him a lot since he’s a growing boy and making sure he takes vitamins and drinks water and limit sugary things

she calls his mom to give him updates about her son

remember his phone that he used until it actually died?

sera actually bought him a new one before that happened and just casually gave it to him

‘i know this was going to happen so i just took care of it. i have to take care of you, jisung-ah’

hypes him up whenever he dances bc wow this boy is actually talented

doesnt really like skinship but he tolerates it when she holds his hands bc theyre so much bigger than hers

one day just woke up and she got so confused when jisung grew up

‘did you grow in your sleep?’

‘n-no?’

loves his awkward nature and she keeps saying how adorable he is and cute he is whenever he acts cool

god, she’s just so whipped for him

but tbh, who isn’t?

aaaahhhhhh i cannot believe our wish came true and they became a fixed unit and we really getting a comeback and an mv in the 29th!!!

[stimmypaw]

Stimmypaw reads Darkest Night! The fourth text post!

Back with these uh live reading comments! Remember those? yeah! I'm on the fourth book of Warrior Cats: A Vision of Shadows :D I read The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow and Shattered Sky and now!! I'm here :D and boy did I have a time. Click read more to see it!

NEEDLETAIL?????????

Needletail???????????

What?????

OH???????

Wh THIS GUY IS TALKIN 2 DEAD PEOPLE????

HOW WHO IS THAT

OH MY GOD

These guys are weak and dumb skyclan is epic and sharing the territory with them is good, but of course sparkpelt isn't dealing well with change wink wink nudge wink nudge nudge huh???? (this is a nod to how I project into her and say shes autistic)

I am getting anxious for tinycloud SERIOUSLY how much longer until those kits??? Everyday you show up and its WOW my tummy ssure is HUGE AND BULGING I just Wonder Oh When They'll Be Born, probably pretty soon!!! :) and then they arent!!!! Birth dammit!!!

Cherryfall cut the sick and hurt cats some slack jeez youre Fine, youre not feeding half the forest and you have THREE medicine cats ready to help you if youre not feeling well

Bastard Cherryfall I hate you /lh

Dovewing and Tigerheart have relationship drama again. What is UP with those two I simply do not understand them

Watching Bramblestar trying to control this bizarre situation is actually funny he is so close to screaming "PLEASE dont be mad :c"

SOON WHEN???? JUST KIT THOSE KITTENS DAMMIT

Get her, Alderheart

They LITERALLY said something about sharing the territory, they were like "Stars have five points baby and we need those 5 clans togetherrrr" what else do these cats want??? I know its a big change but its necessary

Wait everyone shut up that cat is named Podlight this is so important to me

Dang these cats are really still struggling :c I wish they didnt blame each other

Harestar is so cool

What the FUCK mistystar????

God what a disaster of a gathering Starclan is gonna be so pissed everyone is doing the opposite of what they should

I was holding my breath oof

I hope thunderclan gives some territory too thats too small a space for Skyclan

Oh boy oh boy oh boy i am Anxious for these Kitties

Violetpaw is me having nightmares every night

Macgyver is a heavily gringue name and I have No Clue how to say it how the hell do you say it

Update its either Mick Guyver or Mac Guyver apparently

Its fun to see how different the sisters are from one another, I love them both

I also love their mom with the name identical to puddleshine wish I got to meet her

IM CRYING BRO........M...MDB.....NFBANN.....VIOLETPAW BELONGS MY DARLING MY DAUGHTER

Sadly Twigpaw is for gender binarism 😔 /j

Twigpaw is often in her thoughts and doesn't pay attention to anything around her and I love her for that

Bad news Finpaw is gonna lose his tail, good news I can draw his tail fin-shaped

Puddleshine surgeon moment!!!

I love Graystripe and Millie

And I love that being flirty is a part of Sparkpelt's personality, I don't know what Alderheart is talking about she's always been dandelion-headed

Ok this is epic, I’m glad we’re breaking gender roles in Warrior Cats my heart dropped when the books called Briarlight cr*ppled, that’s the thing they promised not to do anymore recently right? I’m not sure but, I could use some uh less ableism on my Warrior Cats, the series is old but the newer books should be better, so yeah, good modernize these cats babyyy

OH COOL Skyclan journey!!! Fun I hope they find someone :] also fuck Molewhisker and Cherryfall bastards.

Jayfeather is gonna miss Alderheart too much for him to leave hehehe

ALL of Starclan showed up just to call out Riverclan pahahah

oooo is shadowclan haunted?????

FINALLY TINYCLOUD IS KITTING YES GOD YES GO QUEEN GOOOO!!!!

I wonder why Twigpaw wants to stay behind, there has to be more than just the camp stuff

"I wish I were more positive like Twigpaw, but at least I'm just as scarred by the death of my loved ones as my dad :] I like being like him"

Violetpaw witnesses a car crash 😔 that was a bit messy what happened to those cars also why the hell was one of them smaller was it a bike??? Or ???? Idk what's up with it!!!

Needletail just happens to have slow-down turned on for her on the discord chat so she can only say like a few words each hour :/ why the hell is she here tho Violetpaw needs to get OVER your death!!!!

This short exchange has made me love Dewpaw

Also, I love Twigpaw, I still wonder why she stayed behind tho

Ahh, is it cus she feels too estranged from her family :c ? I wish her mom was around maybe that would help

Jee Twigpaw be a tad more empathic, I can see Twigpaw struggles with that sometimes

You can't cheer him up right now he's grieving, just find him on common ground, talk to him, don't try to make him happy just try to keep him company

Oh wow finpaw that's a dangerous thing to say I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure to never be sad because people like her because she's happy and her being sad would be bad

ALSO I JUST REMMEMBRERD UH TWIGPAW MENTIONED BRIARLIGHT BUT BERRYNOSE IS RIGHT THERE???? HE IS RIGHT HE DIDNT DIE OFF SCREEN IM SURE OF IT WAIY

BERRYNOSS IS RIGHT THERE I CHDCKED!!!! HE LOST HIS TAIL TOO AND HES A GREAT WARRIOR, TWIGPAW!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT ITS MORE RELATABLE

Okay I'm glad they're getting along this is nice

Oh look twigpaw you Are like your father :] this is cute

Skyclan begins to fish competitively I'm glad

I like it when medicine cats bicker about their leader's behaviors ehheheh, Jayfeather talking about how weak Shadowclan is, Alderheart being annoyed at his father for wanting to stay silent, the others worried about the tensions this is all cheff the kisser

Jayfeather spitting the truths about how Starclan doesn't know shit, and he is very much one to speak

Puddleshine: Rowanstar stepped up the patrols :c

Leadstar: He has warriors enough for that?? Damn good for him

Dang poor Skyclan I hope they manage stuff better soon

Oooo the girls are fighting!!!

Alderheart starclan anxiety time dang

Sheep :]

Needletail :[

I'm sad Ravenpaw isn't here, this is a lovely reunion scene but knowing Barley will be alone when they all leave breaks my heart

Oh, maybe not, but if they stay I'll be sad also cus Skyclan needs its warriors

Aw man, Twigpaw is struggling :c

OUCH

I WANT SKYCLAN 2 SWIM THO......

Omg crimes

That sounds kinda possessive twigpaw!

DOVEWING?????

T

WhHAHAGAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

omg tigerstar 2 real

Whats he gonna do to rowanstar???

ALRIGHT THATA OVER THEN PAHAHA

Aw, I'm glad they're having fun tho, and that twigpaw sees herself as skyclan

Alderheart, as he meets someone for the first time in a while: ARE YOU OKAY???

Blackstar protagonist moment

The medicine cats: our gods are toying with us again and destiny is uncertain

Leaders: I cannot DO this right now PLEASE leave and let me care for The Real Issues

Alderheart: YOU WILL hang out at my house Willowshine this isn't up for debate

Riverclan suffered enough and it's their turn to throw a tantrum about it, honestly good for them hsghahah

Alderheart asks his father to go on a quest to check people's feet

WHAT THR HELL IS A CANTANKEROUS

Alderheart and Willowpelt sitting there watching Shadowclan fight

This is really funny

HEWWO????

Puddleshine, in his eyes: help help

I love Skyclan

Ok this sounds like it's gonna be very very fun

Mission impossible: Escape From São Paulo

Oh, is Fallowfern deaf? That's so poggers omg I wanna see more of her

Edit: fallowfern is an elder that lost her hearing with age and retired after that happened :/ boring

I love leafstar so much

Juniperclaw: aren't you gonna punish her????

Leafstar: why

Juniperclaw: when I tell rowanstar he's gonna be pissed

Leafstar: don't tell him

Juniperclaw: the fuck is wrong with you and your clan??? Where is everyone???????

Leafstar: busy

Icon

I don't trust abled people specially able-bodied people telling disabled people they just have to train harder and feeling sorry for yourself won't help.

But this is the closest to a positive message to disabled people we have ever had in warriors so I guess I'll take it but I want better

IVYPOOL!!!💖💖💖💖💕

Dang ivypool what a way to show someone you miss them hahaha

Twigpaw: uhhhh how's dovewing?

Ivypool: what do you mean did she do something illegal I'm sure she did

Ivypool is a seriously funny character WHY are you yelling at the young adult about your sisters illegal activities she doesn't know anything about it!!!!

Alderheart goes on an adventure

Feet inspector on the road!!!!

Jasper is so funny I love him

Omg what's he got against clan cats??? What's his sad backstory????

YEESSSS SPARKPELT MY LOVE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕

Sparkpelt your opinion sucks but I love you

I'm really really glad they had this moment this is really sweet, they hadn't talked for a while but this is genuine like, we hadn't had this sort of relationship in so long in the books with just, dialogue yknow??? THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THINGS

And the pause Sparkpelt takes between her speaking to fix what she's saying "I'm sorry for saving you :c no wait uhh not exactly but like" this is so good so natural so fun I love you sparkpelt

I get why she has a diferent opinion on Skyclan it's good for someone close to Alderheart to have a different mindset from him and for him to have someone like uh be opposites from him a lil yknow contrats his characteristics makes both siblings fun round and full of kitty do you get what I'm saying???

I love this

I love Sparkpelt, love her lil anxious moments, love her, love that she just wants to fool around with toms and enjoys Larksong but doesn't want to get serious you go girl

They wanted to write smart-ass they wanted to write smart-ass so bad

They're doing this in the rain?????

I'm quite certain Violetpaw is a young adult by this point its valid for her to go

Wh why did you let your cat out in the rain dude!!! When it comes back it's gonna dirty up the whole place it's wet out there!!!! And the cold is gonna get in the house!!!!!!!

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH OH LORD

That was SO INTENSE AND SO FUNNY AND SO MUCH, IM SO GLAD SHE MADE IT I GOT SCARED

Oh this is so epic

That moment when your cat nearly dies and then it runs off and you go after it and then a bunch of other cats show up and start running with it

I hope Twigpaw can see the others soon

Glad to see her keeping her medicine cat knowledge ehehehe

???????

Sandynose I hate you you are so abled

Sandynose: I don't want my son to feel distanced from his peers so I'm distancing him from his peers

DOVEWING???

SANDYNOSE SHUT UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU ANS MURDER YOU

I'm so upset with Sandynose WHY isn't leafstar seeing this WHY DOESNG ANYONE SEE THIS SOMSONE PLEASE CONFORT AND LOVE MY CHILD TWIGPAW DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Angry sad upset why

Piscina

Thanks graystripe

Ok who's dying this time

Ok no one just a background cat got hurt he will survive otherwise it would be relevant

This was intense though what will happen now???

YES FINALLY

Oh this is lovely so good they're here!!! The rest of skyclan has arrived and we are all happy together

That dream felt good

NEEDLETAIL??? AGAIN

Where were you at!!!!

What!!!

Check this man's feet how many toes are there this could be good

What

Hegshahwha what the fuck is up with this guy

Okay I like him

Ohhh THATS tree

Change your name if you don't like it you sound trans already

Yeah nothing makes one smarter like dying

This is very fun I'm excited for more of whatever happening

Twigpaw :c

HIS SNIFFLES

Oh no

Hhhhnn I want Twigpaw to be happy so bad, I hate seeing her struggles

Sandynose you are so evil and very detested by me

You can and you SHOULD feel angry at Sandynose he SUCKS and he is being needlessly mean at you!!!!! There are much better ways to bring up the possibility that maybe you'd be happier with thunderclan!!! Fuck off Sandynose

Oh so Snowbush hasn't improved, maybe he will die?

Poor Alderheart

Oh fuck there he goes

Yeah

Aw man, rip to the background cat

That was a heavy death too

Aw, I was hoping the rest of Skyclan would show up before the gathering, maybe just after it???

I wonder what's going on in Shadowclan

TIGERHEARTS MISSING HUH???

The couple was kidnapped

HUH????

Oh my lord oh fuck

Can't anyone step up to lead why do they depend on Tigerheart so much???

Jesus christ

Alderheart kills his gods

This is so chaotic and funny I'm worried as hell for shadowclan but excited a lot is happening

HI TREE AGSGAHAH

Tawnypelt >:(

Puddleshine: WAIT DONT KICK HIM OUT, CHECK OUT HIS FREAKY FEET INSTEAD

Oh dear

Twigpaw :c

TWIGPAW :CCCC Man rememebr when I said I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure of being happy for others? yeah

GET OUT SANDYNOSE I DONT CARE YOURE BEING REASOMABLE FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER

:C

I'm so heartbroken for them

Uh pdhsgahab okay then

Bye finpaw

Wow that was easy for him

This is fun

I'm still sad as hell

Okay there's a lot going on right now wow

The owl scene was funny as hell to picture, this dramatic prophetic moment and the cats just "uuggh is that a prophecy??? Nooo"

Okay so

There's some shadowclan cats missing, considering the many sleekwhisker maps I'm sure she's up to no good but I have no clue what happened to the others and I hope they're okay

Wow! That was really something

Fantastic ending to a very good book its, definitely a different energy from the third but I'm really enjoying this I'm still excited as hell!!! I got worried things would get kinda bad from here but nope!!!! Very fun stuff for now this is very very good and I am enjoying it

This is definitely one of the most fun arcs I've read so far!!! The drama the stakes the little moments everything is tying together really well into a very fun story I'm enjoying a lot!

I worry for Twigpaw and hope for her happiness, and Violetshine too, hope her and Hawkwing deal well with missing her. Tree is being interesting. Alderheart wasn't much of a focus here but always fun to see him trying to solve the damn prophecy no leaders seem to care about. Mousewhisker was okay??? Lots of very fantastic turns for all events and uh let's see where this all goes next!!!

[wonderlustlucas]

soonie, doongie, dori, & john - lee minho

⇢ prompt “Why did you steal a fish? You don’t even take care of yourself let alone a fish.”—a prompt from @the-moon-dust-writings​ ⇢ pairing minho x female reader ⇢ word count 4.4k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings lots of cat interaction. if u don’t have a cat you may be confused. mega fluff. that’s it. ⇢ summary Sharing an apartment with Lee Minho has been an adventure since day one. Plus, you got a best friend and three fur children out of the deal. But when a heavy realization hits you the same morning Minho has an accident at the pet store, it seems as if it’s only a matter of time before John shoots Cupid’s arrow and paves the way for a happy ending.—friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n bear with me on this one, it’s kind of slow in the beginning. this is the first i’ve written in ages. i feel like i’ve forgotten how to english. also i did as much research as i could find to try & figure out the genders of minnie’s cats hopefully theyre right jsfajkhkjf. also i watched a lot of vids of minho for this & it rlly made me realize how much i love him & how soft i am for him & it seems as if my bias list is unstable now

From her curled-up position in between your legs, Dori’s ears twitch up in attention at the sound of the front door swinging open and closed from across the apartment. She has grown a lot since Minho first brought her home, you notice when she finally lifts her tiny head to listen to the footsteps past your bedroom door, jade eyes blinking tiredly at you in post-nap dreariness. Excited, she pushes herself up to arch her back in a long stretch before she abandons the warmth of your bed to greet Minho. Pouting, you watch as Soonie ditches you as well, hopping off from his perch looking out the window to follow the younger kitten.

“Oh well,” you mutter to none other than Doongie who stays by your side, white mittened paws tucked snugly under her chest that rumbles with a purr when you reach over to scratch the soft fur behind her ear, “I still have you.” You can practically feel Minho’s jealousy radiating from behind the door when only two out of his three children go to see him— not that this is new.

It has been this way since you moved in together nearly two years ago. Due to increasing international interest for your university at the end of each year, not every incoming freshman was guaranteed a dorm room. It just so happened Minho and you were two unlucky victims of such a shortage. By chance, you had met at an open house only seven months prior and so, not even knowing whether he was frantically searching for an apartment like yourself, you reached out to him with an offer your parents helped scrap up.

Minho was uncertain at first. First, he was not prepared to start university living with a girl. It wasn’t that he did not like girls; he simply grew up expecting to meet his forever “bro” in his dorm room. In addition to this, he was an only child and imagined living with a female only child could end up causing him some great distress.

Secondly, while the pros outweighed the cons for the most part, he was more than disappointed that the apartment was in a more… domestic part of town. Yes, the rent was cheaper than the apartments closer to campus. Yes, he would be able to have a car now and yes, the apartment really was more than sustainable for two kids, but it was all these things and more because it was not an area where sleaze balls sunk their talons into desperate students looking for a place to live. And so, this basically meant that the two of you were close to the only students in the area.

And last but not least: there was only one bathroom. Enough said.

But what eventually won him over was the fact that the apartment was pet friendly, which meant he could bring Soonie and Doongie (and Dori, eventually) with him. It was for this reason he finally agreed to share the apartment with you before he lost the opportunity and you asked someone else.

It couldn’t be that bad, right? Afterall, you seemed nice enough at the open house and you did go out of your way to ask him in the first place to live with you. And he was right. In fact, it was not bad at all. You were more than nice, generally not concerned with specifics other than the agreement that Wednesday was grocery shopping day together, Friday was cleaning day, and that you washed your own dishes. Minho did not mind those three simple promises because he found getting to be your friend easy and your roommate his favorite part of his day.

What he did mind, however, was the fact that Doongie instantly took a liking to you. “This isn’t fair,” he complained only your third day together after searching for said feline and finding her cozied up with you on the sofa, “how can she betray me like this?”

His possessiveness humored you, to say the least. “What can I say? She just likes me better. You’ve bored her, Minnie.” He grimaced at the nickname and your bold statement. You were just bluffing—there’s no way Doongie would choose you over him after all these years, right?

Wrong. After freshman year flew by and the two of you agreed to stick together for a second year due to how dependent you had become on one another, he suddenly brought home Dori to ‘fill the void Doongie left in my heart,’ he exaggerated. “Wow, is Soonie not enough for you? You make him sound so unimportant. Maybe I’ll steal him too,” you had replied, grinning from your spot in bed when he narrowed his eyes at you.

“I thought you’d be mad I brought a kitten home,” Minho admitted from the doorway, ignoring what you said and holding said tabby against his chest with one arm. He’s so cute, you admired for hardly a second, reaching for your iced tea on your bed side table and shrugging to him, “You know I don’t care, you’re the one who pays the vet bills. Bring all the cats you want; the more, the merrier,” you said, taking a sip and blinking at him lethargically.

For a moment he was quiet, processing your words before, “If we get married it would be our vet bills.”

You nearly choked on a mouthful of tea. Married? You took a moment to collect yourself and your thoughts. “Minho, if your plan is to marry me, you’ve done a terrible job at getting that message across.”

“Damn, what can I do?” He asked, sulking.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, grinning at him behind warm cheeks, “you can start by getting your ass over here so I can see this new kitty and discuss our wedding theme.”

And that’s just how things were; you, Minho, Soonie, Doongie, and Dori.

Or so you thought.

Past the hum of your ceiling fan and the purring coming from Doongie like an engine, for a minute or so you listen to Minho sing, “I want to see my little boy,” from Vine to presumably Soonie at least four times, followed by a loud thud, a high-pitched screech (not from a cat), a door slamming closed, and then the pipes moaning like a horror movie as the shower is turned on. Unfazed by the chain of events as this kind of chaos was something you have come to accept living with Minho, you shrug off all the noises you heard and opt instead to regretfully roll over until you meet the edge of the mattress.

Once you manage to tumble out of bed and stretch good enough to make your legs shake, Doongie lets out unamused meow now that her own personal space heater and pillow has moved.

It’s you. You’re the personal space heater pillow.

“Whaaaat,” you reply, grabbing a pair of cotton shorts from a drawer and glancing back at her. With ears drawn flat, Doongie follows your movements with a cold glare. “I’m sorry,” you coo, falling for her manipulation and bending back over the mattress to envelope her in a hug of sorts and cover her muzzle in kisses. When she starts struggling to get away from your grip, beginning to meow loudly and pushing your arm away with her paws, you pull away and scratch the base of her tail as she stands to stretch.

Shimmying the shorts up your legs with an unnecessary amount of effort exerted, you at last exit your room for the day, grabbing your phone from where it sat charging on the bed side table on the way. Padding barefoot down the brief hallway, you realize with a shiver when you reach the tiny dining room table how unreasonably freezing it is in the apartment. Minho must have not raised the thermostat this morning after lowering it to sleep.

Instead of fixing the problem, you reach for Minho’s orange university sweatshirt draped over one of the chairs and pull it over your head. At your feet, Doongie weaves between your legs, dragging the side of her face against your shins and she does not stop mewing until you bend down to gather her into your arms so that her front paws dangle over your shoulder. “So needy, you are,” you grumble, blowing her tail away when she threatens to swat your mouth and making way for the kitchen where coffee calls your name.

Minho must have made enough for the both of you as there is still another cup or two left in the pot, you realize with a smile, reaching up into the cabinet for a mug and pouring yourself a cup. Doongie leaps off your shoulder when you open the refrigerator for creamer, joining Soonie and Dori who sit poised like statues along the kitchen’s pony wall.

Stirring in cream and sugar, you wait until the color softens to a lighter shade of brown before unwrapping the flakey chocolate croissant Minho bought you yesterday and taking a seat at the table. Humming to yourself, you shift to cross your legs on the chair while taking slow sips of your coffee, heart beginning to thump faster in your chest.

And it’s not from the caffeine now making its way through your system.

This is too good. Life is too good, and you should not feel at such peace at twenty years old. You should not be having such a casual morning, drinking coffee Minho made for you, eating a croissant Minho bought you, wearing a sweatshirt Minho left hanging around, having a staring contest with the cats Minho brought into your life, listening to Minho sing in the shower one room over. Minho.

You slowly set your mug down with a newfound epiphany flashing like a billboard in your brain. Of course, you always knew Minho was the most special person in your life recently, your best friend really, and that you loved him. You probably would not have lived with him for this long if you didn’t. But since when were you in love with him?

You shake your head and take a hefty mouthful, hoping to wash away such troublesome thoughts. You’ll get over it. It’s just a crush. On the boy you live with. And spend all your time with.

“Oh boy, what are we gonna do now?” You ask the three felines who have abandoned studying you to stare down like hawks at the table, ears raised in curiosity. You follow their gaze, squinting in hope to better your vision when you see the fluttering tail of a fish as it swims within its tiny plastic cup. Blinking once, twice, and on the third you finally reach over and grab the container, bringing it closer to inspect and yep, that most certainly is a betta fish staring back at you.

Setting it atop the refrigerator where the cats can’t get to it, you stuff the rest of breakfast into your mouth and dump what’s left of your coffee into the sink before marching to the bathroom, swinging the door open without so much as a knock. He yelps from behind the shower curtain and you mentally thank God you did not barge in to find him butt naked in front of the mirror.

“Lee Minho, care to explain why there was a fish on the kitchen table?” You bark, crossing your arms and leaning against the sink for when he pops his head outside of the curtain.

“First of all, you could have knocked,” he starts, looking to the floor when you glare at him, “and I, um, I stole it.” You sigh in defeat, dragging your hands down your face when he disappears back into the shower. “Minho, why did you steal a fish? You don’t even take care of yourself let alone a fish.”

“That just isn’t true. I am fully capable of taking care of myself and my children. And I didn’t mean to steal it,” he retorts, turning off the water and you watch as he slips an arm out to slap around in search of his towel. “How the fuck do you accidentally steal something, Minho? And did you not think I would see it eventually?” You huff, exasperated.

“You see, I went to go pick up cat food and I dropped my phone where all the betta fish in cups are and when I went to pick it up the bag hit a cup and it fell and then the lid popped off and then there was water everywhere and the fish was just flopping around so I panicked and put it back in and then ran to get water from a fish tank and I thought I would get in trouble so I just ran out since no one saw me,” Minho rambles without taking a breather, whisking open the shower curtain and stepping out as he does so, towel snug around his waist and cheeks glowing pink from both embarrassment and the aftermath of a hot shower. You sigh for a third time, moving out of his way when he makes way for the cabinet and opting to sit on the toilet.

“Did you even get the cat food, then?”

“No, I just ran. With the fish.”

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you grumble, “You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot,” he grins, dragging a cotton round over his face with toner. You send him a warning glare. “Well,” you click your tongue, hypnotized as he combs out his hair and by how unfairly ethereal he looks post-shower, “we should probably go to a different pet store to get cat food. And we need to get a nice fish tank and food.”

He raises a brow, surprised with how nonchalant you are, and moves to stand in front of where you sit so he can tilt your face up with his index finger tucked under your chin. “Are you mad?” He asks.

It’s not fair, really, the way he asks such a question after making you feel so vulnerable under his touch and proximity, heart racing a mile a minute. Really, you should be mad. But when it comes to Minho, you cannot find it in yourself to be. This is just how things are with him.

“No, I’m not mad,” you smile reassuringly, leaning into his touch and you both seem to forget for a moment that you are nothing more than friends when his hand moves to cup your cheek, thumb ever so slightly brushing over your warm skin as he beams down at you, “just amazed as usual at how stupid you are.”

“Hey!” He steps back at this, running his fingers through his damp hair and shaking out the strands. “I’m not stupid.”

“Yeah, and Doongie likes you more than me.”

“It sucks we have a fish now. I was thinking about getting a guinea pig or something soon. Maybe even a rabbit,” you announce, leaning over with Minho to peer into the guinea pig enclosure. His giggle reverberates throughout the entire store and you cannot help but grin in return, even though he has scared all the little critters back into their huts. With nothing left to coo over, you grab his hand and tug him toward the fish care.

“Where are we going to keep… him? What’s his name? Do we even know if it’s a him?” Your question turns into three, stopping in an aisle full of different tanks and small décor pieces to go inside.

“I’m pretty sure it’s a dude. I think they only sell males in that section anyway. I’ll check if he has a dick when we get home though,” when you look over, he’s smirking as if he just said the funniest thing ever and you have to hold back your laughter. “Yeah, you do that, Minho. I’m sure you’ll be real successful.”

“We can probably just put him on the desk. I’ll move all my shit and he can just go next to my laptop,” he continues, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder as you look over the different tank options. It makes it hard to concentrate with him so close. “I mean— yeah. Yeah. That works,” you stutter, swallowing past the sudden lump in your throat and quickly scanning over the tanks one more time, “we should get this one. Is that okay?” You move closer to said tank, hoping he would let go when you reach out to grab the box but when he doesn’t, your heart seems to beat so erratically in your chest that you think it might fly out. Why, all of a sudden, are there butterflies—no, lions—in your chest when he is around you when there weren’t before? When did this happen?

“Minho. We can cuddle at home. I just want to get what we need and leave,” you whine, trying to pry his fingers apart from where they are linked above your hips, leaving your skin tingling even under his sweatshirt. He huffs, detaching himself from your frame. “Fine. But we’re gonna get home and you’re gonna say ‘Wait, we have to take care of the fish’ first and by the time we’re done, you’ll fall asleep before we even have a movie on,” Minho grumbles, taking the box you shove into his hands and trailing after you.

You gasp, pointing an accusing fake plant in his direction, “No, you fat head. You’re always the first to fall asleep. You just like to blame it on me.” He continues to grumble under his breath while you grab a bag of pebbles, fish food, and water conditioner, finally able to breathe now that he isn’t clinging to you.

“Come on, stinky. I don’t want you to start crying on me,” you grin, wishing you could hold his hand but alas, you did not think of grabbing a basket on your way in. His face brightens up with a smile anyway, and he follows you the rest of the way right at your side.

“So, you never gave him a name. What’s it gonna be?” You ask, nearly unhinging your jaw to take a bite of the Big Mac Minho begged you to order after making fun of you the whole ride home for never having one. You stopped at McDonald’s just to appease him. You look to the fish, surprised yourself over how pleasant his quiet presence is, especially with his emerald and sapphire scales that reflect and glow iridescent in the light.

“Mm,” he hums, chewing on his own hamburger and watching the fish in thought, “I think… I think John.”

You blink at him now, setting your food down. “John?”

“John.”

“Why… why John? Why not Nemo or something?” You ask, eyeing him curiously and gnawing on the straw to your soda.

“Dunno. He just looks like a John,” Minho explains, giggling cutely and looking back up to you with stars in his eyes. It feels like liquid adrenaline is being injected right into your bloodstream when you lock eyes, and looking into Minho’s cat-like eyes feels like looking into the sun for too long—it almost burns, instead, there is an entire zoo in your chest. But it feels good. You almost wish he did not stop giggling so you could giggle with him. Instead, you have found yourself lost in him, every ounce of breath stolen from your lungs.

“Are… are you going to actually take a sip of that?” He giggles again, glancing to the soda straw dug awkwardly into your bottom lip.

Your cheeks flush hot pink, stomach sinking heavily and you cannot find your voice. Clearing your throat, you look away as you begin to hyperventilate and stand up abruptly to grab John’s fish tank from the table and walk across the room toward the desk.

“___? You alright?” He asks, worry lacing his tone and you wince when you hear him push his chair in. “Y-Yeah. I’m fine,” you laugh breathlessly, placing John down and adjusting the tank so it sits catty-cornered next to Minho’s laptop.

“No, you’re not.” He is quick, you’ll give him that. In the blink of an eye he is at your side, grabbing you by the hips and spinning you to face him. Here we go again, you hiss at yourself to snap out of it, clenching your fists at your sides simply due to how overwhelmed you feel. How incapable you are to forget how you have been feeling and brush it under the rug.

“Why’d you get all googly eyes on me over there?” Minho questions, grinning like a madman when he brings his hands up to cup your face and squish your cheeks together. “And why are your cheeks all hot?” You gasp, defensive, and press your hands over his, “M’not.”

He drops his voice to a whisper, leaning in closer so his breath fans over your face, “Is that how I make you feel, ___?”

You blink at him, all the color draining from your face and you must look ridiculous right now, jutting your lips out in a pout as he continues pressing your cheeks together. And what can you say now that he has caught you? Lie? “No,” is all you quip, staring at him, practically begging for mercy. No more questions. Just a ‘goodnight’ and off to your room for the night.

“Hmm,” he hums, pondering for a moment, before grinning once more, “I have an idea.” Oh no, you do not like the sound of that. Minho? Having ideas? Bad. This thought progressively resonates louder in your mind the closer he gets, this is bad, this is bad, this is really bad. It just so happens that a whimper on behalf of your sanity escapes you the same moment his grip on your face eases and he moves his hands to rest below your ears, thumbs caressing your cheeks before his lips brush yours.

His lips are warm and taste… salty? The fries, you realize, before his tongue pressing to the seam of your lips obliterates every thought. The worries leading up to this moment evaporate like a summer shower on a hot car and, of course, you part your lips and grant him access. Drunk on endorphins, your brain seems to light itself on fire and warmth spreads throughout your entire body, your only desire to touch him, to stand up higher and to hold his cheek the way he holds yours.

His fingers run down your spine, pulling you closer until there is no space left between you and you can feel the beating of his heart against your chest. A kiss like this is a beginning, a promise of so much more. “___,” he whispers slowly when he pulls away, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. You smile, heart fluttering at his voice as you lean forward and bury your face into his chest, overwhelmed with relief and desire and worry and giddiness.

“___,” Minho repeats, running his hands up and down over your arms, calming you down before reaching your shoulders and pulling you back, “how did that make you feel?”

“You— what?” Is all you manage, searching his face for a trace of mirth, and yet you find none. In fact, he himself seems relieved, the corners of his mouth quirked up and his eyes bright and dark all at once like the midnight sky. He grins, laughing a little and stroking the baby hairs around your face with his finger. “I like when you wear my stuff,” he says, tugging at the collar of his sweatshirt you still wear.

“Um, I— thanks?” You laugh nervously, heartbeat beginning to skyrocket once more when he reaches for your arms and maneuvers them to hug around his waist. You hum, confused, but content nonetheless and link your hands together. He instantly presses closer, tipping your chin up, “I know you always say I flirt with everyone, but I don’t know how you haven’t realized by now I only want to flirt with you. It’s been you since Doongie chose you. I can’t even get you out of my head, imagine how hard it is living with you, not able to kiss you and do all the cute shit I know we would love.”

He what now? You blink up at him, more than bewildered, “Wait, are you trying t—”

“Yes,” he interjects, not even giving you a chance to finish, “whatever you’re thinking, yes. I’m confessing, or whatever. So let’s cut to the point. Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Your brain stutters for a moment and every part of you goes on pause while your thoughts catch up. Girlfriend? Well, of fucking course you want to be his girlfriend, but how have you been misreading all of him for so long? “God, I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” You mutter instead, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead and his giggles ring throughout the room.

“How many languages do I have to get through for that to translate into a ‘yes?’” Minho cackles, prying your hand away to return it around his waist. When you look up at him, you feel as if you may cry, so instead you opt to laugh with him in order to dodge the waterworks. “Yes, of course that means yes. It’s always been a yes, stupid.”

“Hey, you’re the stupid one. Seriously, have you seen us today? We’re so coupley already, literally nothing is changing,” Minho chuckles, walking you backward until you comfortably fall back on the sofa together, “except now,” he pauses, settling himself above you and bringing his face up to yours once more, “I can kiss you wheneeever I want.”

And he does just that; peppering your face, your lips and cheeks and nose with kisses until he has made you a giggling mess, writhing beneath him until he finally stops, sharing a mingled breath with you. “Is it too early to say the ‘L’ word?” Minho whispers, tracing your upper lip with his thumb. You smile, kissing the pad of his finger before, “No. I already know I love you, Minnie. I’m more than in love with you.”

His smile is one of happiness growing, much as a spring flower opens. “Heh. I like this. I love you too,” he answers, finally returning to kiss you in a way that is slow and soft and comforting in ways words cannot describe. And then he pulls back with a gasp.

“I forgot the cat food.”

[stoopsbookstore]

The Fan (Chapter 2)

Warnings - Mentions of groping, accident at a performance

“Do you know what happened to your fansite, Y/N?”

Aya looked at her group member, scrolling through Instagram to see Milton's post, showing the phone screen to Y/N.

"Wow, he seems pissed," Y/N read the post, feeling uncertain about the post, "I mean, I guess it's sweet he cares enough to get mad over people trying to get upskirt shots."

"And he hasn't tried to grope her yet," Sanghee jumped over the sofa to sit next to Y/N, throwing her arm around her, "and if he does, I'm sure security will ban him like that guy who tried to go through our dressing room and sniff our underwear."

"Not funny," Y/N threw a pillow at the laughing Sanghee, hitting her face, "Yunhee was terrified, the poor thing wanted to escorted everywhere."

"She's our maknae, of cours-"

"To be fair, a 15 year old should be able to handle going to the bathroom without having a security guard stand outside the stall," Aya corrected Sanghee.

"Let's focus on something good. The previews of the photos are amazing! Look!" Chinsun hooked up her laptop to the TV, gleefully sorting through the photos, "Firethorn is amazing! Look at the angle on this one."

"Is he one of the guys from that ATEEZ studio Milton mentioned?" Chinsun opened a bag of chips, crunching them one after anothet, "isn't there a bunch of them?"

"However many there is, they take amazing photos," Y/N clicked the mouse, seeing all of the members throughout the year they've been together.

The group was broken out of their trance, their manager had entered the dorm's living room.

"We have to go, girls! 2 hours until showtime!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why am I being dragged along?"

Hongjoong was being pulled by Yunho and Wooyoung, the pair hurrying through the crowd.

"Because we need someone to hold our shit!" Yunho gave his camera bag to the older boy, looking through his camera, taking test shots of the arena, "I would've asked Seonghwa, but he's still upset about his camera."

"I would be too if some sleazeball pushed someone into me," Wooyoung snapped a picture of the crew setting up the stage.

"Well, I need to go take a piss, take your shit," Hongjoong handed Yunho back his luggage, handing to the bathroom before the performance started.

"He's going to miss the performance, he's not going to be able to get a good seat!" Yunho freaked out, waving his camera wildly and accidentally hitting a little fanboy who had been holding a sign for Yunhee, "oh shit, my bad, little dude. Here, you can have my lightstick."

The little boy stopped sobbing, snatching the Blossom Bong out of his hand, walking away from the tall boy, pouting for his father. The lights had changed to the group's signature colors, a dark green and a light mint, representing the stem of a flower. Erupting from the audience, the cheers drowned out the sound of whacks on metal.

Yunho's phone started buzzing, a text from Hongjoong appearing.

Dude, I can't get back in. They said once you're out, you're out.

Wtf thats bull shit! Its fine, the mall is just 2 blocks away, I'll go there, get some food, how long is the concert?

"Pick your petals! Hi, we are Bloom!"

Only about 90 minutes

ok, do you guys want anything?

Yeah, just get us some pizza. Ill text you when it's over. Sorry bro.

Its okay, Im not big on them anyway. And we'll have plently of more chances to see them.

Ok

After a few songs, the girls stood on stage to talk to the audience, a formality of their concerts.

"Petals, we are so proud of you," Chinsun had someone's camera, taking a selfie with Yunhee who was talking to the crowd, "because of you, we are able to stand on stage and dance, rap and sing, we're allowed to live our dream."

"Yunhee, you softie," Y/N was on the other end of the stage, holding a stuffed animal that someone had thrown on stage, "We may not have had a first win, we may not have a number one album, but we're with you guys and that's all that matters!"

"But I'm expecting a win for our comeba-"

Sanghee and Yunhee ran to Y/N, covering her mouth and dragging her to the floor.

"Just ignore her, she has a big mouth," Aya pointed her microphone at Y/N, the trio laughing on the stage floor, "she's always talking about crazy stuff. A comeback? Next month? That's insane!"

"But," the audience held their breath, Yunho and Wooyoung's camera clicking photos, a smug grin adorning Chinsun's face, "do you want a preview?"

The crowd roared into a thunderous applause, the girls gathering at center stage, waiting for Aya to come to them.

When Aya was about to step on the platform, it had collapsed, causing her to fall six feet onto her ankle.

"Fuck!" She had screamed in pain, the other members being held back by security as backstage crew helped Aya to her feet, her ankle throbbing in intense pain, "my leg! My fucking leg!"

"Holy shit!"

Wooyoung and Yunho saw the incident, Aya just a few feet front of them. She held her ankle when a security guard came, picking her up and bringing her offstage. The rest of the members were in a circle, talking to each other when their managers walked up, pulling them off stage. An announcement came up, the audience groaning and booing at what the voice had to say.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, we have to cancel the rest of the concert. Check your email for any information about refunds, exchanges or other opportunities. We apologize for the inconvenience."

Yunho's phone vibrated, Wooyoung snapping a few photos of the downed platform.

"Dude," Yunho looked at Wooyoung with a disappointed look, the younger male lowering his camera in shame, "it's Hongjoong. Come on, let's go."

What happened?! Im in the lobby and heard a crash!

Aya got hurt! The stage fell

how did the stage fall?

I dont know. Theyre kicking everyone out and Bloom was pretty much ripped off stage. Its fucking bullshit, but I hope Aya's okay.

How is everyone else? Hows Yunhee hows Y/N?

Theyre fine from what we saw, a bit shaking. Where are you in the lobby?

Near the dipping dots

"Do you think that Milton guy will have something to say?"

"I don't think I even saw him there," Wooyoung mentioned the apparent absence of the fansite master, "I wonder if he had to do something with it."

Yunho scoffed at the theory, spotting Hongjoong in the disgruntled crowd, passing by the little boy, who was now full on pouring out tears.

"He may be crazy, but I don't think he would be that crazy."

"Who?" Hongjoong sipped his soda, Wooyoung taking his drink while the trio watched the people leave the arena, "that White Jasmine guy?"

"Yeah, he wasn't there," Yunho checked his phone, "no post either."

Hongjoong, Yunho and Wooyoung begun to hid out to the car, the cloud hanging out the parking lot dark and gloomy as the cries of little boys and girls could be heard for miles. Yunho started the car, Wooyoung getting in the back while Hongjoong turned on the radio, the car filling with one of Bloom's b-sides.

"Not now," Wooyoung reached between the front seats, switching it to classic music.

The rest of the ride spent in tense disappointment.

[sikereviewdotcom]

undercover brother (2002) review

sup been a while but didnt forget about yall and your eager butts to dive head first right in the flooding words coming out of my mouth today gonna rev "undercover brother" (2002), its gonna be solid guys

so we start with an introduction where we talk about how black culture was losing its flavour after the 70s, progress was slowed down n all as we reached 2000 but dont be fooled, its all cause of a buncha events orchastred by "the man"... a big racist mf ig whos also the kkk equivalent of the team rocket boss, sitting in a ig chair, never see his face in the flashbacks or like the bad guy in inspector gadget, more like him ig since we actually see the team R boss face quite often nonetheless, theres a form of mystery folding this whole business... THE MAN acts in the shadows and he hates to see how dark those are, he wants things to be like it used to be back in slavery times good oltime for him but.. not for the fam

ofc then here is introduced THE REAL MAN OF MEN => undercover brother, our hero and damn he has the style of a whole pack of elephants trampling around in pink disco suits every ladies wanna a piece of that sweet fro he is packing up on his head, funky

ngl, the whole way this mov is filmed n edited is sike asf, dope guys especially considerin its actually made in 2002, loving it anyway then were also introduced to the other secondary protags who are from an organisation here to stop The Mans evil doings and careful: undercover bro was actually a solo act until now cause now they gonna collaborate all throughout da mov: its the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D, with conspiracy brother (tbh a fav here, guys wack like the whole plot guy thinks computer comes from a story involving peanut and idk guys he keeps rambling bout bs which makes him a+ character) smart brother, chief and sister girl (original name/10)

so btw the organization is on a mission rn at the beginning to destroy The Man (lets call him tm for the rest of this rev) financial infrastructure aka funds to stop him better or smthg and it gets spicy as they get caught but ofc undercover bro barges in from nowhere wow big disguise as an old man no one noticed him so like slash bawow boom vlam, bad guys ko and he squeedaddle out of there like twas breeze gg man, he also get fed a nice editing of xrays battle like with a side of kungfu n whatnot, undercover bro knows his stuff

nice sounds effects ah yes btw romantic intrigue with sister girl begins here, its the zinc of the flinch as ub (undercover brother) notices her big wink wink nudge nudge, btw later she is asked to go enlist him in the corps so he can help stop the man with them n shit and he trynna get her in his bed cause thats we this brother is used to, getting laid as soon as he meets a chick, who can resist this dude?

he gots moves, fro, style, skills and also at times he is a pussy but k, not everyones perf sometimes you just simp for a white blond blue eyed woman (spoiler) and crawls on all four looking like a big preppy nerd btw in this review im trynna not spoil the whole plot cause guys, this movie gotta be on yo watch list kay? im not here to ruin this experience in yo life itd be pretty uncool of me so im just gonna state the big lines then its up to you to swoop the tiny ones out of the watch, knot your own breds n stuff

back on the whooper slapping: intro credits roll, we get some nice back story for our hero, making sure we can understand his cause in saving the black peeps from TMs assholery might truth n justice be your guide

so what the big plot then? well yknow how a big antag cant do shit on his own cause hes too busy sticking brooms up his ass in his private quarters? yea well same goes here so there this gay guy who will be twerking later on btw, a scene to behold, rumps to ogle at, so hes a bad guy and gay n gonna do most of the dirty work for TM, whats new? idk what to think of it yknow its a stereotype in movs so ig ok still uncool but ill see it as all in good spirit cause theres bad n good im not excepting this to be the best watch of my life, nah it wasnt either, but i had a good laugh kay? makes up for it cause unlike some here i got no shit up my ass alley its clean scrubbed up n down so i can smoothly take a chillax up n a shit out without a night tormented by constipation, nah its all sliding where it should no pain no sweat

so the big lines is that a war hero whos a black man is gonna become president and wtf no is the only react racist mf could have which is what they have, bad guys gonna stop it from happening at once and the brotherhood aint letting it happens cause obvs something is wrong as every black peeps gonna turn into a stereotype like waddup in this mad world? its all because of the poisonous fried chicken brand TM will get around ty to another poison to make our war hero delusional n so on were also introduced to white evil she-ra later btw, just dropping this in cause undercover brother really wants to make oreos with her n sister girl (his words) ig shes the second love interest, im not too invested in this romantic intrigue it was just necessary not like twas very developped anyway its even more of a bedroom intrigue when it comes the the white blue eyed blond chick, sister girl before hoes yo

whats it in conclusion about this movie? first, the plot: hilarious biznasty worthy a+ bs especially how its turned yknow, the clichés were turned upside down n if not theyre just turned into a big satire of themselves editing + music ? yknow its actually good, and funky asf im digging it, a travel in time nostalgia of times i lived acting is pretty neat its not an ironically good movie cause its hilariously ridiculous in the making way its all about the plot here, plot twists and characters, the whole universe ig like its superior to big mamma sorta plot or maybe im dropping this comparison cause its been a while since i saw big maam, for sure twas under estimated while over brought when this here? it got freshness packed in

the spoiling was light and this is cause this movie got a 69/10 rating jk 8/10 if were gonna be serious, im gonna list wats unwoke n uncool here: 1 gay villain stereot, gotta be honest here its not that big of a deal tme seeing when it was made and how i still laughed yknow idc this much but some could go apeshit over it 2 not enough conspiracy brother content: this is all i ask for 3 had no snacks while watching the movie, too bad id dig a aj or grape soda right about now n then 4 more lines for car wash chicks jk this last one idc about, but car wash representation is lacking once again in american movies, i cant believe how looked over it is, as if they didnt need smore rep in the medias its not an easy job washing car all day long, standin in those ghost buster lookin suit while staring at the hot guys in hot wheelys, whos gonna pay you a drink when youre just an old carwash lady? thought finally a hero would step up in this movie but there it goes thrown out da window, the potential was real until it got blown away sure sister girl was a solid character but give the washers some credits cut them a slack of free time n have a lil date together there on top of a truck to keep it native

nonetheless this is a top rec for anyone who feels like slipping into some conspiracy slippers

tg, out

[ptsd-and-autistic]

Some food tips for if you’re starving and poor.*

By me, a 19 year old trying to feed myself and 3 teenagers on basically minimum wage, because my parents won’t do it. (you can support us at paypal.me/infinityskies but you dont gotta)

*note: some of these foods are expensive in time or resources if you aren’t careful, but im poor and hungry and prioritize that im feeding teenagers who wont eat if it isnt “good” **note 2: most prices are according to how much it’ll cost you, as a whole, but things like bread and eggs’ prices are rounded down to like a dollar bc theyre large packs. Realistically im just guessing because im 19 and im tired

Where to buy foods, realistically

Go to the dollar tree/ 1$ store near you.

I know, I know, I don’t want to do it either. But grab rice, beans, ramen, canned veggies, nuts, canned fruits, quick oats, trail mix packs, peanut butter and any other essentials you can find. You can find a lot there, but not everything. Try to find cooking oil and salt if you can- don’t buy anything refrigerated if you can help it. Some of them are safe, others are worth avoiding. Look out for spices you might want, or other comfort foods they seem to have ingredients for. While you’re there, look for other essentials, hygiene and vitamins, etc.  Essentials can also include some snacks that’ll make you feel better because youre overwhelmed by everything going on rn and the stress of it all. 

Go to your local shoppers/ grocery store going out of business/ cheap grocery store

Buy other things there, things you wouldn’t trust from the dollar tree. Milk, bread and eggs are my go tos, but also see if you can afford to get yourself a bag of some sort of fresh veggie and a couple fresh fruits. I can usually find nice bread for about 3$ at them, which is good enough for me bc i need something to make me motivated.

Now what to actually do with those foods

Ramen

Ramen packet instructions, an extra cup of water. Boil water, and scramble an egg while you’re at it. 1 egg per 1 or 2 packets ramen, depending on taste and money. Larger chunks feel like more, so if you don’t like it but need the protein, try smaller pieces. If youre hungry and like it, do the opposite. Cut your fresh veggie while you keep waiting for the water to boil. I like carrots, but other veggies probably work. You want a fresh veggie so it doesnt all just taste like mush. Add your fresh veggie and the noodles at the same time. Follow your normal habits for flavor packet, i dont care. When the noodles are done, add some canned veggies bc theyre good for you even if you hate them. Usually my 1 can lasts about 4 packets. Add the egg too. Add salt to taste if you can. If you dont like the soup, dont add the extra cup. Veggies absorb water. 

about 4$ per meal?

Oatmeal

not gonna lie this ones easy buy the canned fruits? cut them up and add them in reasonable amounts, you can make a can last as long as you like. Save the syrup for when youre out of the fruit itself. When it’s done cooking, sometimes adding the nuts you bought helps. 

2-3$ per meal ?

Toast and Eggs

again, obvious and easy, but if youre buying cheap bread and eggs, you can usually make a sandwich out of them to make them a little more bearable. If you can afford spam or meat or something its usually a good addition. 

2-3$ is my best guess

Rice and Beans

okay realistically i know im expecting people to have a place to go back to and also to sit through a list of things they probably already know, but dollar tree spices and canned veggies/ tomato paste can help make this bearable too, and give you some diversity to your meals. 

about 2-4$ depending on how fancy you want it, ig

PB&J

this is just a quick reminder you can get 3$ fancier bread at some stores and sometimes you can get peanut butter and jelly at the dollar tree

so its like 5$ i guess? bc the bread price???

Idk guys im tired and hungry but cycling through these foods isn’t so bad. and they have lots of stuff you need. to be fair im supplementing them with dollar store snacks because wow am i depressed about this situation im in, but those help out too.

Good luck out there. 

[angrylizardjacket]

morning light {John Deacon}

Anon asked: do you think you can write more fluff for deacy like a lil “morning after”ish bc i’m sad and i love him

A/N: 1877 words. I’m in sever pain and my ankle Hurt. I just want BoRhap’s Another One Bites The Dust!Deaky to tell me it’s going to be okay so picture him, and also just pretend he’s not married please and thank. Not exactly what the prompt asked for but God i’m a sap.

It’s... it’s weird waking up in the morning, and he’s still there, sprawled out beneath the duvet, morning light peaking through the curtains. Not weird bad, just weird. You didn’t really think you’d get this far; you’d been working as an assistant for the company that produced a majority of their music videos, and somewhere along the way, they’d started remembering you. Well, actually, John started remembering you.

It had started with ‘We Are The Champions’, in which you had the tedious job of being more or less an usher for the audience, though it was just a small crowd. While you were seating a particularly excited bunch close to the front, you look up for a moment to see the band warming up, and John Deacon smiling fondly at the excited audience members, before he looks to you. For just a moment, you share a look, and he gives a single nod of solidarity, which you return, before you both go back to your jobs.

When you show up to the filming of ‘We Will Rock You’, practically freezing your ass off in Roger’s backyard, you debate ever getting in to the music industry, and offer to go get coffee and tea for everyone as something to keep you moving.

“I remember you.” You’re so focused on the warmth of the drinks in your hands that you’re surprised when someone says more than ‘thank you’ when you give them theirs. It’s John, smiling at you, shivering, and holding the styrofoam mug so tightly you’re a little afraid it might burst.

“You do?” You answer, and his smile turns amused, before your brain kicks into gear. “I- yeah, I was there for the last shoot.” You agree. “I’m Y/N. I’d shake your hand but-” You gesture helplessly, both hands holding trays of drinks.

“Well it’s lovely to meet you, Y/N, I’m John.” He says, as if you don’t know, and you have to bite back a giggle. It’s then, when he sees the way you smile, and can feel his answering smile brighten, that he decides he likes you.

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you too.” You nod at him and he thanks you for his tea before you move on to the others, only preening a little bit when they praise you for bringing them warmth on the cold, winter day. ‘I remember you’ plays in your head on repeat; you can’t stop thinking about it, about the way he grinned at you like he’d know you his whole life, and you realise a few days later, when you’re still dwelling on it, you don’t even remember how cold it had been, just his smile.

“We really have to stop meeting like this.” On the set of ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ you’re the one everyone turns to as the go-between for the band and the crew, seeing as how you’d been working with them for over a year at this point. Now, you’re holding out a water bottle to John, pulse a little quick when he fixes you with a surprisingly affectionate grin of thanks, “I was asked to give you guys these.” 

“Is that the water I asked for? That was quick; Y/N you’re a bloody legend.” You hear Roger call from behind you, bounding down from behind the drums to snag one of the other three bottles from your arms. John stays quiet as he takes the drink from you, watching Roger with an amused smile. 

“I’m parched, thank you, dear.” Freddie takes the second, and after you and John share a look, an endeared smile at the grabby but thankful nature of the others, you turn, raising the final water bottle above your head.

“Brian?” You call, and he looks up from where he’s been tuning his guitar.

“Is that for me?” He asks, and you nod with a smile. He comes to collect the drink, and they all disperse back to their original places.

“We really do have to stop meeting like this; it’s what, the fifth time?” John finally agrees once they’re out of earshot, and you turn back to him, grinning.

“Sixth, actually.” You say, and he nods, making a face like he’s cataloguing the information in the back of his mind.

“Six, wow,” and after a beat, his gaze returns to yours, “six videos and I’ve never seen you at a wrap party?” At that you duck your head with a chuckle.

“I work during the week.” It’s easy to admit; it’s not that you dislike parties, persay, but you’re also not fond of turning up to your day job hungover. John hums, low and thoughtful.

“You should come to tonight’s.” He says, and you hesitate for a moment, looking up in confusion. “You don’t have to drink or anything - ignore whatever Freddie and Roger say - but it’d be nice to have you.” After a beat, he shrugged with a small smile. “But only if you want to, of course.” And you can’t help the small, pleased smile that makes it’s way onto your face as you head back to your station.

You do attend the party, squirrel yourself away on a sofa in the corner of the room, nursing your drink and talking to a revolving door of people who are getting progressively drunker as the night goes on. It’s getting close to midnight, however, when John finally joins you. The two of you had had a few conversations during the night, but he was inevitably pulled away by someone else, and you didn’t like to admit to the sinking sensation in your chest. 

He asks you if you’re enjoying it, but your answering smile and nod is unconvincing. Truth be told, you were feeling a little lonely, a little out of place, and a little Cinderella having to still get up tomorrow at a reasonable hour. As soon as you admit you’re thinking of heading home, he offers to join you, to make sure you’re safe, telling you it’s no trouble when you try to wave off his kindness.

Your home is within walking distance, and you’re thankful for the breezy Spring air as you walk through the streets talking about everything and nothing with John by your side. He’s got his hands tucked in his pockets, and at one point you tuck your arm into his; he doesn’t comment on it, but you can see him smiling.

You’re an adult enough to admit to yourself that you’d developed a crush on him, observant enough to know he liked you well enough too, unsubtle enough that Roger had told you to get a move on, though he had been quite drunk at the time. As you walk, you’re not sure what’s holding you back, but you can’t bring yourself to say anything.

It turns out, you don’t have to, at your doorstep, he hesitates after saying goodbye, before quickly leaning in and kissing you on the cheek.

“Sleep well.” He says fondly, turning to leave. You reach out, grabbing his hand and he turns back in surprise, and you step forward to press your lips to his, soft and chaste. He’s actually blushing a little when you move back, seems a little surprised.

“You too.” You tell him, voice gentle and fond, and you head inside, catching his flustered smile as you look back over your shoulder.

He gets your number during the next video shoot, or rather, after.

“I should have your number.” Is what he actually says, voice serious like he’s been musing about it for a long time, despite the fact that he’s naked in your bed, a little out of breath, fingers linked with yours as you both take a moment. You’re heart’s still racing and you’re still in quite a heady state, and all you can do is laugh, warm and bright into the darkness of the bedroom.

You wake up the next morning and he’s still there, one arm around you where you’ve got your head on his chest. There’s an anxiety, an uncertainty in your chest, tension creeping into your muscles due to this change, this development in your relationship. But then he wakes up, voice rough with sleep, giving you an easy grin in the morning light as he greets you. 

He’s warm and secure, he always has been, but it’s strange to have such solid confirmation, to feel his arms around you and feel like nothing could move you from that spot if you didn’t want it to.

He calls you, actually follows through and asks you out, and the next thing you know, the two of you are sitting in a fancy restaurant on an actual date. He’s so unwavering genuine, in his smile, his words, in the warmth he gives off; when you talk, you knows he’s actually listening to what you’re saying. 

You learn he’s an engineer; he sort of fell into music, but he’s always had a passion for electronics, and after a few weeks, he shows you the amp he built (and then the false one he built for his mini fridge, which delights you). And then he’s plugging in his record player into the amp, puts on some old jazz single you didn’t really think he’d own, and he’s offering you his hand.

Taking it, you do actually giggle at the whole situation, a little bit flustered by the sweetness of it all. You’ve seen him dance on stage, of course, in videos, but here he wraps an arm around you, swaying gently in his studio, the carpet soft beneath your bare feet. As the music picks up a little, he gently prompts you to twirl, and when you’re back in his arms, there’s nothing but adoration in his eyes. You can’t help but kiss him. 

The music keeps playing, but it’s like the two of you are frozen in time, the world falling away around you as you kiss him. Still holding each other like you’re dancing, his grip tightens just a little on your waist, his thumb brushes yours where your hands are linked before he lets go, moving to hold steady on your other hip while you wind your arms around his neck. 

The song comes to an end, but neither of you break apart. The world feels right, here.

So even now, almost a year later, it’s weird to wake up in the morning, sometimes, and see him there, after everything he’s done in his life, all the places he’s been, and he’s still by your side. He takes your breath away sometimes, when he doesn’t even mean to, like now he’s not even awake but he’s so serene and you woke up holding his hand and you felt like your heart might burst. 

“Good morning, darling.” Voice scratchy, he yawns, and you press an affectionate smile against his shoulder, a little embarrassed for still being so sappy after all this time. His free hand is gentle when he coaxes you up, pressing a kiss to your lips, amused and endeared. “What’s gotten you all smiley?” He asked, and you kiss him again.

“I just love you is all.” You tell him, and his smile brightens in the early morning light.

“I love you too.”

[inyournightmares97]

My Youth (Chapter 6)

Broken and miserable, Park Jinyoung returns to his hometown to learn that no matter how hard he falls, there are still people who think he’s a hero.

Warnings: Mentions of suicide/depression, death, angst, slow build, maybe some language.(Please don’t ask when I’ll update. Wait until the series is finished to read if you’re impatient.)

Word Count: 5.7k+

(Can’t put links to the other parts here, please check my Masterlist/the reblog for the Prologue and Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5)

“-Mom, I’m busy,” Jinyoung muttered into the phone. He had been sitting in a crucial meeting with the Finance Director of GOT Tech and representatives of the Financial Regulatory Board. Receiving approval for his company to go public was one of the most critical and risky steps in Jinyoung’s career.

His mother, however, had been calling him constantly for the last twenty minutes.

Mrs. Park sounded upset. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung, dear. I just needed to reach you-”

“Mom, I’m in an extremely important meeting right now. Do you know how it looks when the Managing Director of GOT Group keeps getting calls from his mother during business meetings? What do you want from me?” Jinyoung demanded in a frustrated whisper, running his fingers through his hair. He tried not to let his agitation show on his face; the other high-profile attendees of the meeting could still see him through the glass wall of the conference room.

“Jinyoung, there’s been a terrible tragedy in town,” his mother began nervously. “I don’t… I don’t know how to tell you this, but i suppose there’s no easy way to talk about a death.  Remember I told you that I’ve been going to the hospital every day to meet-”

Jinyoung felt a burst of irritation. The clock was ticking. The Board members were waiting for him impatiently and he could see the disapproval on their faces. “Mom, did you call me to tell me that someone died?”

“Well… yes, but-”

“Mom, I have been preparing for this presentation for months. The future of my company depends on this meeting. This is absolutely the worst time you could have chosen to tell me something like this,” Jinyoung muttered through gritted teeth. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “Please don’t mess up my focus right now. We can talk about this later. Do you need anything from me urgently?”

Mrs. Park hesitated. “You always seem to be busy these days. I just thought… if we could maybe help out with the funeral expenses or the hospital bills…”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. “Mom, you can just call my secretary for that. She’ll send you whatever amount you need. Send them flowers from me or something, okay? I have to go now.”

“Take care, Jinyoung, dear-”

“Bye, Mom.”

Jinyoung hung up and sighed, pressing his fingers to his temple. His personal secretary had followed him out of the room and was watching him nervously. He hadn’t even asked his mother who it was that had passed away. Was it somebody he knew? Maybe it was best that he didn’t think about it too much for now.

“Take my Mom’s call and ask her who died, send them money for the funeral and all those formalities,” Jinyoung told his secretary shortly. She nodded and made a note of it on her phone quickly while Jinyoung cleared his mind.

Focus. The presentation. The numbers.  

Jinyoung took a deep, calming breath and plastered a rehearsed smile on his face before he turned to enter the conference room once more.

“I’m so sorry to keep you gentlemen waiting,” Jinyoung greeted all the well-dressed men with a bright smile. “I hope you can forgive me. Mothers seem to have a knack for calling at the most inconvenient times, don’t they?”

The men chuckled politely. “That’s perfectly fine, Mr. Park.”

“May I begin the presentation?”

“Please, do.”

--------

Jinyoung believed that to achieve something great, you needed to make certain sacrifices.

He had always known that the path he was embarking upon was not an easy one. Establishing your own business meant that you didn't get off work at 5 pm sharp, you couldn’t spend your weekends at a countryside cabin or getting drinks with your friends. You needed to keep working until things got done. You needed to compete in the market. You needed to be strong enough to pick up after your losses and clever enough to make friends in the right places. People were depending on you.

Jinyoung hadn’t merely chosen a career, he had chosen a life.

A very lonely life.

Whenever his mother would call him and try to have a casual chat, Jinyoung would find himself irritated. Who cared whether Mrs. Lee from the grocery store was giving a discount on strawberry bread? What did it matter if Mr. Cha had been trying to sell his little farmland? There was important work to be done. Jinyoung needed to talk to the advertising agents to make sure his products were being launched properly, he needed to negotiate discounts with suppliers to ensure he could meet the planned pricing goals. There were employees relying on him. There were investors who had trusted him with their money. There were quarterly goals that had to be met.

Every second of Jinyoung’s time was precious. Why couldn’t everyone understand that? Why couldn’t his mother stop thinking that her tiny little world in this tiny little town was everything, and understand the importance of what her son was doing?

There are a limited number of hours every man has at his disposal. We each make a conscious choice regarding how to spend each one.

It was only now, standing in front of your mother’s grave, that Jinyoung came a terrifying realization.

He had made the wrong choices.

------

“It was heart failure,” Mrs. Park whispered.

Jinyoung’s hands clutched the cup of tea firmly. It was hot and uncomfortable, but not more than the sick feeling in his stomach. Every word his mother spoke made him feel more pathetic.

What had he been doing all those months while your mother was in hospital and when she’d died? Preparing for his company to go public? Sitting in meetings and sucking up to corporate officials? Only to be fired and thrown out of the company. Only to have missed the death of somebody who had trusted him and cared for him.

“But she couldn’t have been that old…” Jinyoung muttered.

Mrs. Park shook her head softly. “She’d always had a weak heart, Jinyoung. Her health was fragile and after her husband passed away she had no choice but to work to support her daughter. All those long hours and late nights for years… they took their toll in the end. She had her first stroke three years ago. She was in hospital for a few weeks and then she had the second one; the one that took her life.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes, remembering your mother in his mind’s eye.

“She always looked tired. And worried.”

“She was.” Mrs. Park reached out and placed a hand over her son’s nervously. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung. I should have told you about it sooner. But you were always so busy in Seoul, always doing important things. It never seemed like the right time to tell you about something so devastating. It’s my fault.”

Jinyoung let out a small scoff. “Don’t take the blame on yourself. That doesn’t help me.”

Mrs. Park looked upset. “Jinyoung-”

She was interrupted by a loud knocking at the front door. Jinyoung closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temple while he listened to his father go to the door and yell at the person on the other side. The reporters had already found his home address. They had started arriving one-by-one since this morning. Each of them desperately wanted an interview with Park Jinyoung, the man who had lost his empire overnight. They wanted to know what he had to say about his dismissal from his own company.

Mr. Park re-entered the living room and sighed. “They’re getting more persistent. I think I should call the local police before they start trying to shove their way into our house.”

Jinyoung nodded and stood up. “I’ll go down to the police station myself and ask them to send someone to deal with this harrassment. Mom, you’ve told everyone we know to deny any reporters who request them for an interview, right?”

“Yes, but is it really a good idea for you to be going outside now-”

“I think I’ll lose my mind if I stay indoors,” Jinyoung muttered. He grabbed the black hoodie that was slung over the back of the sofa and glanced at his parents. They were both looking at him with wide, worried eyes.

Jinyoung felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him; why should they have to deal with so much because of his mistakes? Why was he always the one taking and yet never giving?

“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly. “I’ll try and be back for dinner.”

------

Jinyoung’s legs carried him naturally towards the elementary school.

Perhaps it was a subconscious urge to see you, even though he had no idea what he would say if you really appeared before him. Anything Jinyoung could have said to help should have been said three years ago. Words like I’m sorry seemed like an insensitive joke at this point; too little and far too late.

Jinyoung sat silently on the bench by the schoolyard with his face covered by his dark hoodie, and wondered how his life had brought him to this point.

Left with nothing with shame.

“Ahjussi!”

By the time Jinyoung looked up, there was already a tiny figure running straight towards him at full speed. He flinched and braced himself for the impact; only to have the small boy stop centimetres away from him and throw his arms around him happily. Jinyoung stiffened.

“What-”

“Ahjussi, you are Park Jinyoung!” Ki-woo cried delightedly. The boy was beaming. Jinyoung noticed for the first time that one of his front teeth was missing, but it was still one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen. “Miss told me yesterday! Why did you lie and say you weren't? I can’t believe the King of the Playground walked me home after school and I didn’t even know!”

Jinyoung couldn’t resist a small smile. The sight of the little boy bouncing on his feet warmed him for a moment and he patted Ki-woo on the head. “If somebody asked Clark Kent if he was Superman, he wouldn’t say yes, now would he?”

Ki-woo’s eyes widened in understanding. “Wow. That’s so true! You’re so cool!”

“You’ll have to keep my secret.”

“Of course I will! Ahjussi, can you tell me how you did it? How did you manage to climb the oak tree?” Ki-woo demanded, grabbing Jinyoung’s arm and tugging on it eagerly. “You have to tell me, you just have to! Were you really tall?”

Jinyoung blinked. “Tall? Not particularly…”

“Then how? How did you do it?”

Jinyoung opened his mouth to respond but he was cut off by a loud yell. He had been so preoccupied with Ki-woo that he hadn’t noticed the much larger man that was making his way across the school yard. Jackson Wang had a huge smile on his face and without greeting, he threw his arms around Jinyoung in a fierce hug.

“Park Jinyoung! Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence!” Jackson cried happily. He pulled back and noticed the blank look on Jinyoung’s face. With a frown, he pointed to himself eagerly. “Remember me? Jackson! Jackson Wang! You used to pass me all the answers in History class!”

Jinyoung swallowed. “Uh…”

“Mr. Wang, you’re friends with Park Jinyoung?” Ki-woo asked, his mouth gaping open.

Jackson blinked and looked down at the boy sheepishly. “Ah, Ki-woo. I didn’t see you down there. Didn’t your teacher tell you to wait inside until someone came to pick you up? Go back indoors now.”

Ki-woo pouted. “But-”

“Nope. Back inside. Now.”

Jackson waited until Ki-woo began to slouch back towards the school building and then turned back to Jinyoung. “Man, you’re pretty much the celebrity around these parts now, eh? We had a couple of reporters come by the school this morning, asking for anyone who used to know you. You have nothing to worry about! I scared them off. These babies aren’t here for nothing,” Jackson beamed and flexed his bare bicep.

Jinyoung didn’t really know how to respond. “Nice.”

Jackson narrowed his eyes. “You do remember me, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course-”

“We should get drinks sometime and catch up now that you’re back in town! Man, I really owe you. You did me a solid one that Christmas before you left, remember? I’ll buy you a couple of beers at the pub. What’s your phone number?” Jackson demanded.

“I don’t really have a phone right now…”

“Don’t have a phone?” Jackson looked confused. “Weird but okay. I guess I can always ask Miss First Grade to get in touch with you. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me you were back in town!” he cried, slapping Jinyoung’s arm playfully. “Hold on… you’re here to see her, aren’t you?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Not exactly…”

Jackson chuckled knowingly. “No worries, man. I’ve got your back. I need to go inside and take care of the kids now, so I’ll tell her to come out and meet you here, yeah? Let me know if any more of those reporters come around. I’ll take handle them for you!”

Jinyoung forced a smile. “Thanks-”

“No problem, man. It’s what friends are for. We’ll catch up soon!”

“Sure.”

Jinyoung watched Jackson half-run back to the school building, letting out a sigh of relief. Each person he came across in this town seemed to remember something about him and the one who possessed the most dangerous knowledge was Jackson Wang. In addition to having been the resident supplier of inappropriate magazines and the one who’d convinced Jinyoung to try his first cigarette behind the park back in high school, Jackson simply knew a little too much about everybody.

Jinyoung sat down on the bench and took a deep breath. He just realized that Jackson had said he would send you out to meet him. Why hadn’t he told him not to? He wasn’t prepared to face you. Idiot.

It was a few minutes before you emerged from the school building and walked towards Jinyoung. There was a pleasant smile on your face as you approached, and it made Jinyoung’s stomach turn. How could you smile at him like that? How could you be so calm about everything?

“Jinyoung,” you greeted him, confused. “Should you be roaming around out here? There are reporters buzzing all around town.”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Uh. Yeah, I know. Jackson said he drove them away...”

You rolled your eyes. “That idiot Jackson Wang? He was fully prepared to seize his five minutes of fame by telling them how you used to help him cheat in History class. I had to step in and force him to deny the request for an interview,” you muttered. Jinyoung’s eyes widened and you gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I sent a message to the principal of the middle school and the high school. Nobody’s going to give any interviews about you.”

Jinyoung felt small.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“Did they find your house?”

“Yeah. They’ve been knocking the door all day. It’s really starting to bother Mom and Dad.”

Your expression was sympathetic. “Should I call the police?”

“Don’t worry. I was going to go down to the station myself and ask them to send someone to get rid of the reporters,” Jinyoung reassured you. He felt his heartbeat thump wildly as he looked at your gently smiling face. Should he say it? Should he talk about the elephant in the room? Even though he hadn’t prepared what to say?

“About… about last night…”

You blinked. “Yeah?”

He sighed. “About your mother. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I know that’s no excuse, but I should have been there and-”

You cut him off with a forced smile. “Jinyoung. It’s okay. It’s not like you could have done anything for her even if you were here, you’re not a doctor. Everyone did the best they could.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I might not have been able to help her. But… I should have been there for you.”

The smile dropped from your face. What could you say? Jinyoung’s eyes were filled with shame but it wasn’t the right time for him to be offering condolences. That time had long passed.

But you still remembered his words from last night as he’d hugged you. I don’t feel as alone when I’m here. Jinyoung had been through so much. How could you say anything to such a broken man except for it’s okay? How could you offer him anything but comfort when he had nobody but you?

How could you not be the bigger person when he was suffering?

“It’s fine, Jinyoung,” you promised him softly. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“How can I not-”

“Seriously. Please. It’s in the past and nobody was to blame. It happened around the time your company was going public, so I can only imagine how chaotic your life and work must have been back then. I don’t resent you.”

Jinyoung looked up at you in disbelief. “How can you not?”

“I just… don’t. It’s fine.”

“Do you really mean that? Do you really mean that?” he demanded.

“I do,” you insisted firmly. You glanced at your watch and sighed. “Wow, it’s getting late. We have a PTA fundraiser at school tonight so I need to start setting up. Oh! Did you bring my bicycle by any chance?” you asked him hopefully.

Jinyoung shook his head. “Uh, no. The reporters were in front of my house so I slipped out through the back…”

“Can you drop it by the school later? I’m going to staying back pretty late because I have to wrap up after the event is over. It might even take till midnight and the buses stop running at 9 so I need a way to get home. It’s not too much trouble, is it?”

“No, that’s fine. I’ll drop it off here later.”

You gave him a small smile as you turned to go back indoors. “Bye, Jinyoung.”

“Bye.”

---------------------------

The PTA fundraiser left you drained of energy.

You would much rather have dealt with a hundred kids at once than with a handful of parents. At least kids could be made to see reason, they could be convinced with a little bit of logic (however flawed). Adults, on the other hand, believed that they knew best and that things had to be done exactly the way they wanted. Adults were unreasonable. Adults liked to throw around their authority.

You had never wanted to get into bed so badly.

You stayed back late to clean up after the fundraiser was over. It wasn’t required of you, but it was something that you somehow ended up volunteering to do. All the other teachers had families to go home to and kids to take care of. You only had an empty apartment.

Asking them to stay back instead of you felt selfish.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and trudged out into the parking lot to see that the bicycle racks were empty. Shit. Had Jinyoung forgotten to leave the bicycle behind for you? Where was he?

You pulled out your cell phone and then sighed. Damn Park Jinyoung. He didn’t even have a stupid phone. It was far past the time that Mr. and Mrs. Park would have gone to bed and you didn't want to wake them by calling them. But your apartment was too far to walk and you would have to pass by the pub; you had no interest in meeting the town’s drunkards alone in those narrow alleys  at midnight.

You sighed and dialled another number.

“Jackson, hey. I’m so sorry, I know you just left a little while ago, but…”

-------------------

It was 1am when you heard a loud banging on your front door.

You had just finished taking a shower and were getting ready to slip into bed when the noise began. Your heartbeat racing, you grabbed hold of a kitchen knife quickly and then slowly approached your door.

“Who’s there?” you yelled out, voice shaking.

The voice that replied was muffled. “Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung? At this time of night?

You opened the door carefully. The first thing that hit you was the awful smell; Jinyoung stank of sweat and cheap beer. His eyes were red and his face flushed as he looked at you almost wildly.

“Are you okay?” he demanded, grabbing your shoulders to look at you properly. His hands were trembling and he seemed unaware of how loud his voice was. “Are you all right? I was looking for you everywhere!”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Wow, you’re drunk.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry- I’m so, so, sorry-”

“How about you come inside before you bring my neighbours running over with all of your noise?” you snapped. You had little patience for drunks, and knowing that Jinyoung had been out getting drunk instead of returning your bicycle did not please you. “Where have you been?”

Jinyoung stared at you helplessly, his arms waving around as he spoke. “I-I was just going to get one drink, I swear. But it led to another and I totally forgot about your bike and I was so scared that you might have walked home because I know that path passes by the pub and it’s not safe-”

“Relax,” you told Jinyoung as you guided him gently towards your couch. “I didn't walk. I called Jackson, he drove me home.”

“Jackson? Wang? Why? Are you guys close?” he asked, plopping down heavily on the couch.

You shrugged. “He’s a good friend.”

Jinyoung paused for a moment and then hung his head quietly.

“We used to be good friends.”

You looked down at Jinyoung properly. He was a wreck. His dark hair was a tangled mess and the light blue dress shirt he was wearing was wrinkled with a beer stain on it. There were even large sweat stains under his arms; he’d probably cycled all the way here in a panic.

And he’s one of the Most Eligible Bachelors under 40. If only the magazine had seen him like this.

“We’re still friends,” you told him lightly. “Although it wouldn’t do any harm to return my bicycle when I ask for it. Do you want a glass of water?”

Jinyoung blinked at you dazedly. “Do you have beer?”

“Absolutely not. Haven’t you had enough?”

His lower lip pouted slightly as he stared down at the floor. “I’ve been drinking all evening but I haven’t reached the point where I feel good or forget about my problems yet. In fact, I keep thinking about them even more. How about a cigarette?”

“You will not smoke in my house,” you told him with a firm glare.

To your surprise, Jinyoung suddenly smiled. It was only a gentle curve of his lips but you spotted it and frowned at him with your arms folded across your chest. “Are you feeling proud of yourself right now? Do you think your behaviour is something to laugh about?” you demanded.

Jinyoung looked up at you softly. “No.”

“Then why are you-”

“Because this is the first time you’ve given me that look since I came back,” Jinyoung admitted quietly. His voice trembled. “This is the first time you got angry at me. You don’t seem to get angry at me anymore.”

You didn’t understand. “Why would you want me to be angry at you-”

“Because you have to be angry with someone before you can forgive them. You have to first admit that they hurt you or that they did something wrong, and only then can you begin to repair your relationship,” Jinyoung whispered. He looked up at you and you could see the tears brimming in his eyes. “So tell me honestly. Have you forgiven me already?”

You swallowed. “I was never mad at you to begin with-”

“You’re lying.”

You clenched your fists as your heartbeat thudded. “I’m not lying. You’re drunk. You should drink some water and you can sleep on the couch-”

Jinyoung looked up at you, his eyes bloodshot yet surprisingly clear. “You are lying. Either you’re lying or you’re not the same girl I remember.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because the girl I knew wouldn’t have pretended to forgive a friend to spare his feelings. She would have grabbed me by the shirt, looked me in the eye, and said Park Jinyoung, you’re an absolute bastard for leaving me here when I was having a hard time. She wouldn’t have spared my feelings. She would have expected me to be there for her because that’s what friends do. They count on each other.”

You closed your eyes. How had Jinyoung seen right through you? Even after 10 years, how could he see through you like you were made of glass?

“I’m not angry,” you tried to tell him slowly, even though you weren’t sure who you were convincing anymore. “Because I never expected you to be there. You were busy and I had no expectations-”

Jinyoung scoffed. “You’re lying again.”

“I’m not-”

“You are. Friendship is when you help someone, because you trust that they would do the same for you. What you’re doing for me isn’t friendship. You don’t trust me anymore. If you have no expectations from me, then that’s charity!” Jinyoung spat out. Tears were brimming in his eyes and his voice was choked. “Is that what I am to you? Charity?”

You clenched your fists and let out a small, humourless laugh. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”

“What?”

“Where the fuck do you get off accusing me of treating you like charity? After what you did?” you snapped.

Jinyoung stared at you blankly. “Tell me.”

Your throat closed up. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to drag yourself back to what had been the lowest point of your life, especially not in front of Jinyoung. You didn’t know who he was to you anymore. How could you open up to him?

“I can’t,” you muttered. “I don’t want to talk about it, Jinyoung.”

“Please,” Jinyoung whispered. “Please. At least tell me I was a terrible friend for not being there. Tell me I was a terrible friend for not even knowing about your mother.”

You took a deep breath and sat down, your knees feeling weak. You had never imagined that you would have to sit next to Jinyoung and say these words to him while he was drunk. Yet, as his dark eyes pierced into yours, he looked more sober than ever.

“It was my fault she died,” you whispered, shakily. “I know how hard my Mom worked to raise me. I know how much she struggled after my Dad passed away. The doctor told me her heart attack was probably caused by stress- years of it. She was growing old but she’d never even gone for a health check-up because we couldn’t afford it.”

Jinyoung stared at you silently.

“I needed someone to say this to back then,” you admitted quietly. “I needed someone who would listen to me and who wouldn’t try to convince me that it wasn’t my fault or that I didn't do anything wrong. That’s what everyone kept doing. They kept trying to comfort me but I just wanted someone who would listen. I wanted you,” you mumbled.

Jinyoung only nodded. His hands reached out to take both of yours. He grasped them tightly.

“I knew you were busy, but I always had this hope that maybe you would come to the funeral,” you whispered. “I thought… surely, whatever I did to make you cut me off, it wasn’t so bad that you wouldn't even turn up to my mother’s funeral. But the truth was that I couldn’t grieve properly because the hospital was hounding me about the bills, I…”

You took a deep breath. You hated thinking about those moments. You had felt so helpless and alone, backed into a corner. “I don’t think it even sank in that my mother was dead until a few days later,” you mumbled. “ I spent the first day wondering how the hell I was going to pay the hospital bills instead of thinking about her. Your mother tried comforting me, she told me it would all be fine and that she would call you for help.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes; tears were clinging to his eyelashes.

“She did,” he mumbled.

You felt the walls around you come crashing down as you looked at the broken man in front of you. You remembered how badly you’d wanted to see him then, how much you’d craved his comfort. You remembered how furious you had been when you realized that Jinyoung had abandoned you.

“I thought you would call,” you mumbled. “I didn’t want to disturb you but at the same time I trusted that you wouldn’t leave me alone at a time like that.”

Jinyoung’s voice was soft. “I’m sorry.”

“It would have been better if you hadn't done anything at all,” you mumbled. “Maybe then I could have forgotten about it in the mess that I was going through. But you didn’t. I got a call from your secretary the night before the funeral.”

Jinyoung lowered his head. His hands were trembling even as they held yours and you could hear his soft sniffle. “Shit,” he muttered, his voice thick with tears. “Shit, I can’t believe-”

“I thought you’d finally called. But it wasn’t you. I had to hear some strange woman tell me over the phone that Park Jinyoung is sorry he can’t make it to the funeral but he sends his condolences,” you choked out. You smiled humorlessly. “As if I was some distance acquaintance you barely knew. You sent me your condolences through your secretary.”

“I didn’t- I didn’t know it was you…”

“And then she told me that if I would just email her a copy of the hospital and funeral bills then all the expenses would be taken care of,” you mumbled. “She said that she could send me as much as I needed, no limit. I was so embarrassed. I wanted-I wanted to tell her that you could go fuck yourself and that I didn’t want your condolences and your money. I wanted to refuse so badly, but…”

You hung your head in shame. “But I couldn’t,” you whispered. “I couldn’t say that to her because it was true. I had no other way of paying those bills. So I sent her the details and I let you pay for them. Whether you know it or not, you paid for all my mother’s hospital bills and funeral while I sat here and wondered how I had become such a worthless daughter.”

Jinyoung’s hands clasped yours so tightly that it hurt. His shoulders were shaking and you could see the sobs racking his chest. “I didn’t mean to-” he sobbed. Jinyoung’s tears landed on your clasped hands. “I didn’t mean to, I swear…”

You slowly removed your hands from his. “I have the accounts,” you muttered. “I’ve been saving up to pay you back. It might take me a few more years but-”

Jinyoung flinched. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s not open to discussion, Jinyoung.”

“Don’t say you’ll pay me back, please-”

“I will pay you back,” you said firmly. You took a deep breath. “You know why? Because I might be able to forgive you for not being there when I needed you. But I will never, never forget how cheap I felt the moment I ended that phone call. So don’t talk to me about charity; I know how it feels to be on the other end of it.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. He felt light-headed and blank as he thought about everything you’d said. No wonder you didn’t consider him a friend. No wonder you couldn't bring yourself to be honest with him. No wonder there was something fake and forced about your every smile.

Jinyoung hadn’t just messed up.

He had destroyed something precious to him without even realizing it.

“It’s late,” you mumbled after a brief silence. “You should go to sleep. Here, just; make yourself comfortable on the couch and I’ll get you a blanket and some pillows.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I-I can’t…”

“You’re not going anywhere at this time of night while you’re drunk,” you told him. You pushed him lightly so that he leaned back against the sofa. “Stay put. I’ll be back. I think we’ve talked enough for tonight.”

“Can you just promise me one thing?” Jinyoung asked quietly.

“What’s that?”

“Even if you don’t consider me your friend anymore, even if you’re just being nice to me because you’re that kind of a caring person… don’t give up on me completely.” Jinyoung looked up at you desperately. “Please. Tell me that I can fix things. Tell me I haven’t broken our friendship and my life beyond repair.”

You looked down at him. Lying on your couch in his crumpled dress shirt and the beer stains, Jinyoung looked pathetic. Perhaps it was because you’d finally let out all the resentment you’d been bottling up for so long. Perhaps it was because, looking into Jinyoung’s eyes now, you could see that he did care. But you suddenly didn’t feel so hollow anymore.

You didn’t feel so lonely in your pain.

“Everything can be fixed, Jinyoung,” you told him softly.

“Even us?” he mumbled.

You nodded. “Even us.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you.”

Jinyoung slowly closed his eyes and you went into the other room to get him a spare pillow and a blanket. He let you place the pillow under his head and snuggled into the soft blanket. You turned to switch off the light when you heard him mumble.

“You know something?”

“What, Jinyoung?”

“I thought that the most unbearable thing about being fired from the company was all the effort I’d put into it. I thought I couldn’t bear it because I’d done so much for it for the years,” he said slowly.

You blinked at his curled up figure under the blanket.

“But it’s not?” you asked.

Jinyoung shook his head. “It’s not how much I’ve done for the company that I can’t bear. It’s how much I sacrificed for it.”

-------------------