#and now it's several years later and his vocal range is so much lower. and so is mine!!!!

[vainvex]

theres something so beautiful about listening to both early and more recent music by trans artists, hearing how their voices have changed throughout their transitions.... especially comparing my own voice changes to theirs. knowing we've grown and become ourselves at the same time, even without knowing each other... it rules

[sodone-withlife]

it's a sad song

heavily inspired by Hadestown, will feature lyrics from How Long? and Epic III. thanks to @yourlocalheartbreaker for indulging me and my rants about how much i love this musical

the musical's interpretation of Hades and Persephone's story is perfect for Hotch and Haley, so here is the self-indulgent cliche songfic. as usual, i did little to no proofreading so apologies for any grammatical/spelling errors. it's also more choppy than i'd like, but i really wanted to get it out so i can force myself to work on another angsty Hotch fic

warnings: canonical character death, non-canon character death, suicide

word count: 4k words

(And what has become of the heart of that man, now that the man is king? What has become of the heart of that man, now that he has everything?)

In the grand scheme of things, Hotch was lucky. He was further away from the bomb when it went off and only needed a day and a half in the hospital before he was back at the field office, taking the reins in handling the press and brass that was ready to tear Gideon apart.

The inquisition that followed in Virginia was vicious and by the end, Gideon was on indefinite medical leave and the unit was under the brass’s close scrutiny as Hotch took charge of the unit. As much as the word “temporary” was being parroted around in regards to the new chain of command, it was tacit knowledge that it was a permanent arrangement. A fiasco on the scale of Boston was enough to get an agent fired, and it was only Gideon’s seniority and excellent record that kept him with the bureau.

For Hotch, Boston and the months following only reinforced three lessons that were already hardwired into his brain:

Do not break and do not allow yourself to bleed where others can see, for there are always sharks waiting to tear you apart.

(Give them a piece and they'll take it all Show them a crack and they'll tear down the wall)

Nothing is certain. Even the strongest, the smartest, the most experienced, can fail. Do not fall victim to your own hubris, for it will be your undoing.

(Lend them an ear and the Kingdom will fall The Kingdom will fall for a song)

Death awaits everyone. It takes without mercy or regard for the lives left behind.

He was the new face of the BAU within the bureau, and even his prosecutorial and investigative record could not help protect the team from scrutiny.

So he straightened his spine and hardened his already severely sharp features, throwing himself into work and restoring the unit’s reputation.

Then Hotch came home one day to Haley’s brilliant smile and delighted excitement, and for a moment, he was reminded of the first time he talked to her nearly twenty years ago, when he told her he was quitting his smoking habit.

He had frozen when she first approached him in his dark corner a few weeks after school had resumed in the fall. She had smiled amusedly, his social ineptitude clear as day as he struggled to find words to greet her, to apologize for seeming like a creep over the summer when he first saw her outside on the sports field coaching younger students through vocal warmups before they started rehearsing the musical that was being put on that year, only to completely blank she plopped herself down next to him with her own school bag and lunch.

By the end of that day, he had convinced himself it was only going to be a one-off thing, that she wasn’t going to come back. If he had been honest with himself, part of him, the part that knew so intimately that his mother’s skin only remained free from bruises after his innocent baby brother was born was because his damned father finally had a son he could look at without being reminded of his self-hatred, wished it was.

But then she came back the next day, the day after that, and the day after that, apparently content to sit beside him in silence only broken by periodic comments about the going-ons in her life and the musical. And she continued going to sit next to him, even as he watched as others tried to warn her away, tried to physically guide her away from the bleachers.

What was stranger, he thought, was that she stayed even in spite of his silence, and in spite of his vices—he could tell she didn’t like his habit, but she didn’t comment. She just kept him company.

It was a few weeks into this arrangement, when he saw his still mostly full pack, that he realized that he hadn’t itched for a smoke during lunch for weeks, not while she was there and talking to him in ways he’d never been talked to before.

Sometime later, as the number of cigarettes in the pack remained unchanging, as the pack itself went untouched in his schoolbag, he finally threw it away.

That was the first time Hotch talked to her, to tell her that he’s giving up the habit. That small, but no less proud or bright, smile that spread across her face, he decided, was something he wanted to see again.

Slowly, he started talking more, and on good days, the two made conversation on topics ranging from classes to their favorite books all the way to whatever shenanigans Sean or Jessica was getting into. On other days, on bad days, the silence was never awkward, and she simply kept him company as he struggled to control the storm in his mind.

Those were the days his fingers itched for a cigarette, and those were the days she introduced to him a new book that he would finish within the day. The next day at school, they would once again be stuck in an in-depth conversation about the characters’ flaws and the absurdities of the antagonists, and the itch would be gone.

And it went on like this, even after he threw all caution and his doubts to the wind and asked her out on the first day of their senior year, even as they faced the townspeople’s questions about why such a good girl like Haley Brooks was dating someone of the likes of Aaron Hotchner, who, despite being so coldly brilliant, was just that.

Cold.

Dangerously unfeeling.

Barely human.

But she had seen behind the facade and she knew that he loved with the fierce burning of a thousand suns. She knew how terrified he was of losing everything, that he would be left alone and floundering in a world that was not kind to the lost.

So she stayed, through college, as she went into teaching and him into law, as the final straw came and went and he registered for the Academy and started training, breaking records along the way before finally being assigned to Seattle and quickly climbed his way up the ranks until he caught David Rossi’s keen eye and transferred back to Virginia for the BAU.

Every night, Hotch came home to his wife, the light of his life, and was reminded of why he was working himself to the bone. That day, when he came home a month after Boston for Haley to press a simple rectangular box into his hands, the stakes were raised once again, and he knew he had to fight twice as hard.

Not only for his team, the people he protected so fiercely under that steel mask, but for his son.

Early mornings and late nights became the norm as he threw himself into more and more work, and slowly, the unit began to recover as Spencer Reid and Jennifer Jareau joined the expanding unit, as Gideon returned as a senior agent, and as Elle Greenaway was pulled from Seattle just like he was all those years ago.

Then Jack was born, and he used his accrued vacation time to finally take a month off. Never had he been more terrified than in the moment he first held his son in the delivery room, acutely aware of his tiny size and sheer vulnerability to the dangers of the world.

That night, sleeping in the hospital bed with an exhausted Haley and their child in his arms, he swore to do whatever he could to make the world safer for his family.

His world.

So he tried. He tried and he tried, forcing himself to leave when cases that required their presence in the field came in, forcing himself to take on the heaviest burdens of the job so his team might be protected and his family would be safe.

Maybe a part of him was trying to get him to stop in his tracks and look up, to take a moment so he could clearly see that he was being consumed by the chase.

Maybe if he was strong enough, he could have lifted the weight of his world just enough to change the direction he was going.

But he was scared.

Scared that the moment he looked up, the moment he let go, he would lose everything he was defending.

And so he did not stop—not as Elle was shot in one place she had a right to feel safe in, not as Elle resigned and prevented him from making a terrible choice, not at Reid was suffering in a hell that could only be created by the lure of potent drugs, not as the unit was once again put under scrutiny because of her and Gideon’s actions.

Not even as he was forgetting important appointments, as he was struggling to be present for the important events and early milestones in his son’s life.

Not until he was suspended for two weeks because of the vow he made to himself the moment he stepped into the leadership position to protect the team to the best of his ability.

He stopped, looked up, and put in for a transfer.

But it was too late.

(It's true the earth must die But then the earth comes back to life And the sun just goes on rising)

(I’ve had enough)

The divorce did nothing to lessen the weight on his shoulders or the utter terror he felt at the prospect of stopping.

As more and more cases started piling on his desk, he kept his back bent and head down for hours as he pushed himself to the brink with a mental image of the smile that had not dimmed for twenty years and of the only proof of his humanity at the forefront of his mind.

Every day, he bent lower and lower, but he never let himself crumble, forcing himself to remain Atlas as Kate fell and Morgan nearly followed in New York, Reid and Prentiss in Colorado—

—as JJ and Will brought their first child into the world and he promised to protect her as best as he could so she would not make the same mistakes he did—

—as he wrangled politicians and major corporations in the aftermath of him fulfilling the promise he made to Megan Kane—

—as he called in favor after favor to get to the Vatican so Prentiss could get justice for her friends—

—as he compartmentalized as best he could when he found out about the anthrax attack at a public park he knew Haley and Jack frequented whenever they visit her parents’ house and when Reid got infected—

Then the Reaper returned after ten years of silence and ten years of being a silent spectator in Hotch’s nightmares to become an active participant in his night terrors for months.

But the night Hotch returned to his apartment with the intent of pulling out a glass of scotch and staying on his couch with a book, those dreams that left him nearly paralyzed with fear every night became his reality.

That night, as his team was sleeping in their beds, dead to the world while he was slowly bleeding out from nine stab wounds and floating in and out of consciousness in his own apartment, he only felt fear—fear for the team, fear for Haley, fear for his son.

He faded into unconsciousness with the expectation that that was it, that his hubris finally caught up to him.

Less than twenty-four hours later, Hotch was staring at the dried streak of red on the photo of his whole world and wondering if he had made his way into hell without realizing it.

When Haley and Jack visited him in the hospital, he could barely look at their faces, not wanting the scared and confused expressions they wore to be the last memory he might have of the two people whose lives he sought to protect in throwing himself into work but ended up putting in danger.

Then they were walking away, and he felt his walls slowly building themselves back up to a height and with fortifications that he had not needed since he last wore them in his youth to protect himself against the people in his hometown who had treated him with suspicion and derision.

The months following the day his world was ripped from his weakened grip was its own brand of hell, and more than once he wished he had been less of a coward and let himself look up from his chase.

Soon he was stepping down and ignoring all reason as he threw himself back into work yet again, wearing a facade that his teenage self would have been proud of while desperately trying to fulfill the promise he made Haley, that he would spend the rest of his life making everything up to her.

But of course, life has a funny way of reminding people of the promises they made and the important lessons they have learned at the worst times.

Suddenly, the sound of three gunshots was ripping through his head.

Suddenly, he was forcing himself to look away from Haley’s body, strewn on the floor like a doll with its strings cut, forcing himself to keep it together so he could clear the room.

Suddenly, he was straddling George Foyet and unleashing upon him years of pent-up hurt and anger that he had never allowed himself to feel in favor of remaining strong for the people he loved so fiercely.

Do not break and do not allow yourself to bleed where others can see, for there are always sharks waiting to tear you apart.

Nothing is certain. Even the strongest, the smartest, the most experienced, can fail. Do not fall victim to your own hubris, for it will be your undoing.

Death awaits everyone. It takes without mercy or regard for the lives left behind.

That day, Hotch was reminded of all three statements that he swore to live by after Boston.

Foyet was witness to his unraveling and poked and prodded at him, so much so that he uncovered the rage he inherited from his father and had vowed long ago to never express.

His hubris, his confidence in assumptions that had been made so many times in the past, his confidence that denying the deal that had been offered to him just over a year ago was the right thing to do, cut the threads of over ten people far too early.

Haley was lost to him.

Forever.

But in the years afterward, as Hotch found himself stuck in his head and mentally removed from the team’s present more and more often, he wondered if that was actually the moment that he lost her.

Perhaps the time he had to fly out to Mexico on his birthday weekend was the start and the stress of his suspension the catalyst.

Was he simply too destructive and too desperate to have a happy ending? Was anyone closely associating with him doomed to fall along with him?

Why else was his mother spared from bruising when she was able to focus on raising Sean, a son whose looks did not remind his father of the sheer hatred he felt for himself?

Why else had his brother, who he was estranged from, done so well in life and remained so carefree?

For what other reason could Haley have been murdered than the fact that she was collateral damage in a psychopathic narcissist’s dream to cause him as much pain as possible?

For a short time, Haley’s murder had given Hotch a chance to look up, to free himself from all the responsibilities he had taken on, but it ultimately only served to increase his fear and paranoia. The team had seen the tail end of his unraveling in that house, and he knew it had shaken them to the core, so the walls remained up. Strangers in the street were unsubs, and he was never far away from a weapon if he could help it, always fearing that he would be too late to be of any help.

Four years to the day he locked himself away, he was seeing Haley smiling radiantly at him and wearing the same dress she was wearing when he proposed as she waved him over to sit next to her in an empty movie theater and he was struggling to articulate her beauty.

The large screen in front of them was playing scenes from his life in the years since she was stolen from this life. While her eyes were glued to the projection of his memories, he was left unable to tear his eyes away from her, the woman who had been such an integral part of his life, whose death he would probably never forgive himself for, whose presence in his world he had so desperately missed.

Then he was looking down from the screen when their moment was interrupted by the man who had become a permanent fixture in his night terrors and surprising himself with just how prepared he was to kill again to protect Haley like he had failed to do years ago. It was only Haley’s repeated assurances that finally got him to look back up at the screen, and in the next moment, he was once again experiencing his nightmares in real-time.

His voice cracked as he tried calling out for help, becoming more and more desperate as it became clear no one was coming, and then—

You’re not meant to.

They were suddenly standing face to face in that dark corner of the school where they first met. Hotch froze, rooted to the spot by the uncharacteristically cold expression on Haley’s face.

Where is he?

It wasn’t right, the hard tone, the way she was looking at him as if he were a stranger—

I don’t see Aaron Hotchner in front of me. Where is he?

Then her face softened, and she walked over to sit against the wall, uncaring of the dirt that was gathering on her dress. She stared at him pointedly until he made his way over to her and joined her on the ground. It was with great surprise that he felt her lean onto him, a long-forgotten and now unfamiliar warmth settling over him.

I want to tell you a story.

She told him the story behind an old song, the story about the queen who brought spring and summer with her every time she walked the earth and the king who ruled the shades and the underworld. And though the king loved his queen so desperately, every time she walked the earth while he remained in the underworld, he doubted that she would come back to him, for what could he offer her except his darkness?

So he worked and he threw himself into building a kingdom of metal and glaring bright lights that might compensate for his darkness, but he could not bring himself to look up for fear that he would lose everything the moment he stopped. In his fear, he kept his head low and his back bending, he locked his love away so it wouldn’t be a distraction.

(But what he didn’t know is that what he is defending was already gone.)

When Hotch found himself on the edge of a roof being held against Peter Lewis, who had a gun at his temple, facing the team’s desperate and fearful faces, he could only think about that story Haley had told him and the questions she had sent towards him right before he woke up in the hospital four years prior.

(Where is the treasure inside of your chest? Where is your pleasure? Where is your youth? Where is the man with his arms outstretched to the woman he loves with nothing to lose?)

That was the first time he could remember crying in front of Jack—when the two were clinging to each other in the hospital bed after yet another close call—and he resolved it wouldn’t be the last. It hurt to tear down the walls he had so meticulously built around himself over the course of nearly five decades, but to see the smile that his son inherited from Haley…

He could only lament that he hadn’t started earlier.

Slowly, he rebuilt his world, and it was filled with a warmth that hadn’t been since those golden years between first meeting Haley and becoming a prosecutor.

But then Peter Lewis came and turned his mind against him, forcing him to watch his nightmares come to life. And when he found himself at MPD’s gunpoint with Jack watching, his world cracked.

And in that interrogation room, watching the recording of Lewis’s testimony against him, his world cracked again.

And seeing his son’s withdrawn affect, trying to get him to understand that he wasn’t leaving, that he wouldn’t ever abandon him of his own free will—

Then they were called to Arizona and he found his name carved into a victim’s forehead, and he knew it was only a matter of time before the attacks would become more and more personal.

Favors were called in, calls were made, and all the while Hotch tried to keep Jack as ignorant as possible to the way his world was going up in flames around him. For a moment, it felt like the immediate aftermath of Boston, with all of the non-stop workdays and the scrutiny of the brass falling onto him and the struggle to balance his work and Jack—

And then one day, Jack disappeared in the middle of the school day.

A day later, Rossi and Luke were holding him back, trying to keep him away from the security checkpoint at the entrance of the Academy office buildings that had been taped off as a crime scene. His eyes caught a sudden movement, and all the fight left him when he saw the white sheet being unfolded and lowered over the small body that was on the gurney.

Maybe he was supposed to be more grief-stricken than he felt.

Maybe that’s why the team tip-toed around him in the months afterward—they were waiting for the sand to run out, for the inevitable breakdown that was expected from a man such as him.

And the sand did run out, only it wasn’t where any of them expected.

The cold metal digging into his temple provided him an odd moment of clarity as he thought about the questions he had asked himself—because that wasn’t Haley, she never looked at him with such cruelty, not even when he probably deserved it, it was always that voice in the back of his head, the voice that led him down the road to hell.

That treasure that he kept in his chest—it was buried in the ground with Haley and Jack.

His pleasure, his youth, it was left behind in his past with that first strike he felt from his father.

A smile spread across his face for the first time in months and he closed his eyes, a strange peacefulness settling deep in his bones. He flung himself backward, letting himself become dead weight as he suddenly heard shouts of horror through the sound of the wind rushing around him and Peter Lewis as they fell.

Didn’t you tell me to find the man who was reaching out with nothing to lose?

I found him.

I hope you and Jack waited for me, Haley.

[susie-qte]

Jojo Choral Headcanons

ₒₒₒₒAlright I’m like--- in a state of disarray over this thing I am so ready because I’m an avid choir kid and ieao;fjdk The premise is school choir, and it’s a men’s division (feat. Jolyne), hence the severe lack of gals (for now???) 

BUT I might do an extra thing with all the jojos and jobros and some other supporting cast characters in a show choir together but that’s for a later time Or I might do headcanons for a rival choir of Jofoes haha just kidding...  ...unless? 

Jonathan

Such a stronk baritone, but such a middling tenor 

Like he’s doing his best but he needs some work for anything above a middle Db

But his timbre???? You know the singer for Sono Chi no Sadame??? Yeah take that timbre but like--- put it in a choir 

It BLOWS PEOPLE AWAY 

Easily one of the most powerful voices in the whole ensemble 

He just wants to be a tenor though, so he can do like 

Tenor descants 

But alas, that is not for him (yet) 

He is laser-focused during class and sometimes does the annoying thing where he just doesn’t sing unless he can get the phrase perfectly in pitch and in rhythm, but we love him anyway 

He does not try for solos often, and usually needs to be coaxed by everyone else into trying out 

Joseph

I don’t know if anyone reading this is a choir kid, but in the boys section I’ve exclusively experienced boys who take it too seriously and the boys who don’t take it seriously at all 

Not to say that he doesn’t pay attention when he needs to, he just happens to also do the most purposeful voice-cracking in the whole choir for the laughs 

“Hey, can we do All Star for the concert”  

He’s a baritone, but when he’s having a great day, he can be a great bass 

He speaks at a higher register than he sings, and when you hear the difference back to back, it’s a little freaky 

Pleads for a rock song for miscellaneous concerts, because he wants to try belting

He’s that kind of dude who just stands alone in a practice room and tries to belt Jesus Christ Superstar and EVERYONE outside can definitely hear him 

During rehearsal, he is very convinced that he has the right notes

Even when he doesn’t 

He never asks questions, even when he should, and then right as everyone is going through a phrase, you can see his facial expression turn from 100% pure confidence to 100% pure confusion 

Jotaro

Literally no one expected him to be in something as dorky as choir 

But he is the silent bass that holds everyone together 

Like you don’t realize he’s singing until he’s not at rehearsal 

And everyone’s like “Hey, where’s the comforting chesty buzz of our lowest bass”  

He’s probably capable of hitting higher notes, but frankly, he doesn’t want to 

He’s very comfortable right where he is 

Which is 3 ledger lines below the bass clef staff 

He’s one of the pillars that holds the ensemble up, so he can’t really try out for solos often 

You don’t want to leave Joseph to his own devices as a Bass, after all 

Quickly going into some musical stuff: Have you ever heard Norm Lewis play Javert in Les Mis? In the first 10 seconds of this one moment, he hits a note lower than my self esteem and I feel like that sums up how Jotaro’s range has that chesty buzz, ya feel? 

Josuke

Meet the tenor, ladies and gentlemen 

On a very very good day, he can hit the E on the treble staff, he is a ten or 

But at the same time, he has this nice... deep and smoky timbre 

All the ladies love it 

Because he’s deeper than your average boy band member

but higher than Jonathan 

He is a RIFFING MACHINE 

We’re talking some grade A, Bruno Mars on crack kind of riffing 

Even in places where he doesn’t need to be riffing 

He out there like “Hallelᵘᵘᵘuuuuᵤᵤᵤᵤjah,,,, Juᵘᵘuᵤᵤuᵘbilate deoooₒₒₒₒ” but he’s a poppin’ soloist-- if you hear him pre-rehearsal just out there riffing, you’ve heard heaven condensed into a collection of soundwaves-- Pucci is quaking 

Giorno

Poor 15 year olds get the short end of the stick 

He’s a cambiata, somewhere kinda in-between a boy-soprano and an actual tenor 

But he’s flexing out here with tenor descants 

He’s the only person who listens to sample recordings given out by the director, ngl 

He’s so good at ye olde Latin pieces because his diction is on point 

And I mean... Italian is his bread and butter

But also because Latin pieces like to actively torture tenors and Giorno is just ready to flex with his ability to hit them high notes 

Unfortunately though, he’s not ready for the truck that is about to hit him vocally, and no one has the heart to tell him that his crazy range won’t last much longer 

He voice cracked one (1) time during rehearsal and almost had a crisis 

“THIS IS IT, IT’S OVER FOR ME” 

Jolyne

With almost-boy-soprano Giorno and kinda husky-sounding Josuke, there had to be a blending buffer there 

If Giorno and Josuke stood next to each other during rehearsal (and God forbid-- the concert??), it would be an absolute disaster of completely different competing tones of voice 

So the big compromise was our blending gal, Jolyne 

She’s an alto/mezzo, but can hit most tenor notes, so she just deals with it 

There are points in which the tenor part just drops down a little much and she just stares at the the director 

“You’re really gonna make me attempt this, huh” 

She’s the person who brings her phone with her onto the risers and lowkey falls asleep during rehearsal

But somehow miraculously picks up her part at an alarming rate, and it scares the rest of the choir to this day 

Everyone has theorized that she has perfect pitch, but really, who knows? 

You’d never see any of the boys able to pull that off, I’m telling you that 

~Mod Pepper

[codicesandflora]

Ineffable Inktober-Day Twenty Seven: Wings

Yep, this is me, ignoring the fact that October is over and still working on finishing this....

This takes place a couple of years after the Notpocalypse. And just as a heads up, there are some brief mentions of an injury and pain in this one.

Barriers Broken (AO3 Link)

“Angel? Are you all right?”

Aziraphale started and looked at Crowley with a hasty smile. “Oh yes, everything’s tickety….”

Crowley frowned. “Angel, if you say ‘tickety-boo’, I’ll set your Oscar Wilde’s on fire.”

Aziraphale’s lips formed an ‘o’. “You wouldn’t dare,” he spluttered.

Indignation lit up Aziraphale’s eyes which relieved some of the tension that had been building up inside Crowley. At least the angel could still be offended. That was a comforting sign.

“I might,” Crowley said with a half smirk. “I still haven’t forgiven you for the mess you got us into just so you could get that copy of A House of Pomegranates.”

“That was hardly my fault. No reasonable person would respond to an offer of generous financial compensation with a request for a gun duel.”

“And no sane person would stick around to see what happens after a threat like that.” Crowley sighed and gave him a fond smile. “Come on, angel quit trying to change the subject. You’ve had that look on your face like someone actually managed to worm a book away from you all morning. What’s wrong?”

It wasn’t just the expression on Aziraphale’s face that had Crowley worried. There was also pallor the angel had and the way his features were pinched with pain. Aziraphale’s step had been sluggish and punctuated with the occasional stumble. Now, beads of sweat were appearing on the angel’s forehead, and Crowley refused to put his questions off any longer.

Aziraphale shook his head and pulled a small handkerchief that had embroidered golden wings on the corners out of his pocket. He wiped his forehead with it and frowned when he pulled it away from his face.

“I, I’m afraid I might have to make an appointment to visit Heaven soon. And I’m really not looking forward to it.”

Crowley let out a huge breath. Neither of them visited their former head offices in the two years since they had been released after the Nearpocalypse. Although he never said a word about it, Crowley was certain that Aziraphale dearly wanted to avoid Heaven.

However, if the angel was truly ill, a visit to Heaven might be necessary. The fact that Aziraphale was considering it meant that, whatever this was, it was serious.

“Why?” Crowley asked. He hadn’t meant for that to come out as an accusation, but the worry that had frayed his nerves had also stretched his vocal cords past sounding casual or simply concerned.

“I….” Aziraphale cast his eyes downward. “It’s my wings. I think there is something wrong with them.”

At that moment, Crowley was grateful for the sunglasses on his face because he doubted that he could hide the terror that was sure to widening his eyes. While their wings were usually kept out of the physical plane, that didn’t meant that they could be ignored or that they couldn’t be injured.

Even worse, because an angel and a demon’s wings were so intertwined with their True Self, a severe injury or a minor one that was neglected could spread to the rest of the non-corporeal form. And if that was allowed to happen…it meant a death as sure and as permanent as one delivered with holy water or Hellfire.

“What happened?” Crowley said, his voice morphing into a low growl.

“I…there was a demon who visited the shop a couple of weeks ago,” Aziraphale replied. “They was looking for you. But after I refused to tell them anything, I suppose they decided to get rid of me before continuing their search.”

Crowley’s hands curled into fists, his jaw tightening. “I warned them. Looks like I’ll have to….”

“No, not really,” Aziraphale said, holding up a hand. “I already Smote them. Quite decisively too. They won’t be back for a long while. But I’m afraid they did manage to land a nasty gash to my right wing before I dispatched it. I, I thought I could take care of it on my own….”

“Open your wings,” Crowley cut in. Aziraphale took a step back from him, and Crowley struggled to ignore the twist in his heart at the sight. “Look, I’m not going to do anything to them unless you want me to, but we got to see how bad the damage is, right? So please, angel. For me?”

That last part was blackmail, and Crowley knew it, but he was too worried to focus on that right now. He would deal with the repercussions of that later when he knew that Aziraphale was going to be all right.

The angel ducked his head and nodded. Slowly, he pulled his wings out of the celestial plane and into the physical one. Once they were fully out, Crowley did another sharp intake of breath.

Aziraphale’s wings were beautiful, but they were also horribly messy, full of broken and disheveled feathers and what looked like a molt that hadn’t been completely cleared away. Worst of all though, was a long slash in the upper part of the right wing. The wound was scarlet through the fluff of sparse feathers that stuck to it and it was trickling stray drips of a green ooze.

“Aziraphale,” he breathed. “This…this is….”

“Crowley…I’m, I’m afraid that I….”

The angel put his hand to his forehead again, his eyelids fluttering and his posture wavering. Crowley immediately took the hint and rushed over just in time to catch him before Aziraphale fell face first onto the floor.

‘Shit! Shit, shit, shit...!’ “Hey, I’ve got you,” Crowley said, struggling to sound reassuring. “Ok, I’ve got you. Can you walk? Angel? Hey, can you hear me?”

Aziraphale didn’t respond. His head flopped onto Crowley’s shoulder, and the demon didn’t have to see his face to know that Aziraphale was likely unconscious by now. Deciding not to waste any more time on conversation, Crowley hoisted Aziraphale over his shoulder, the angel’s wings draped around him like a shroud.

“It’s ok,” Crowley babbled. “It’ll be all right. We’ll get you fixed up and it’ll be fine. Just hold on, Aziraphale, ok? I’ve got you.”

He continued the steady stream of comforting nonsense while using a miracle to move both of them to the bedroom and as he lowered Aziraphale onto the bed. A bed which suddenly became much larger and wider to accommodate the wings and both of them being on it. Crowley snapped his fingers to brighten the light in the room, because despite the discomfort it would cause, he needed to be able to see even the smallest details of what he was doing.

Crowley ripped the sunglasses off his face and tossed them aside as he climbed onto the bed. He turned Aziraphale face down so he could examine the wing from a better angle.

‘Don’t think it has spread through the whole wing yet. So at least there’s that. Hard to tell though with how they look right now….’

Crowley frowned. It was obvious that the angel hadn’t taken care of his wings at all and the neglect had exacerbated the trauma of the wound. He was going to have a talk with Aziraphale about this when the angel woke up, but for now, he needed to focus on the bigger problem at hand.

“Angel, if you can hear me, I’m going to treat your wound, all right? So, I’m going to have to touch you and….”

That got a response, but not one Crowley had hoped for. Aziraphale’s wings trembled, curling away from him and there was a pained whimper. Whispers laced with shame and agony.

“Please…please don’t, Crowley…please….”

‘Damn him.’ Crowley’s eyes stung. To do nothing would mean death, and he already knew which he would prefer if he had to decide between Aziraphale loathing him and Aziraphale not existing.

“Aziraphale,” he said, his voice deliberately stern. “If I don’t take care of this…you know what will happen. I’m sorry, I know you don’t want me to do this, but…ngk….”

He could have said more. He was a tempter, and damn good at his job. He should have been able to find the words to convince Aziraphale, but words could break through the hurt he felt at the husky sob he heard from the angel.

‘Please,’ Crowley’s heart cried out. ‘Please, Aziraphale…’

Slowly, awkwardly, Aziraphale’s wings stretched out again, still trembling, but steady enough so that Crowley could work.

‘Right….’ Crowley snapped his fingers and a stack of soft, green towels appeared on the stand next to the bed. Another snap and some tonics he had stored at his flat sat next to them.

There was so much Crowley wanted to do to Aziraphale’s wings. Not just heal them, but fix them. Straighten and clean them so that they could be as beautiful as Crowley remembered them being in Eden. But doing more than what was necessary to save Aziraphale’s life would be a violation of trust at this point. As much as he burned to do more, he swore to himself he would make this quick.

Crowley looked through his tonics, chose one, and sprinkled a tiny pool of it onto his hand. “Ok, this will sting a little, but I promise it will help, ok?”

There was no response, but Crowley knew better than to assume that Aziraphale hadn’t heard him. More likely, the angel just shut himself down to conserve his strength and as a way to cope with what was coming. But Aziraphale was probably still aware, and Crowley made sure that that remained at the forefront of his brain throughout this.

Gingerly, he rubbed the tonic into the wound. Aziraphale moaned and shuddered, but did not open his eyes or make any other sound. Crowley rubbed the excess away with one of the towels, mopping up the green goo that had congealed on the nearby feathers.

Crowley took a deep breath. “Ok, this is going to be the worst of it. But I’m going to make this as fast as possible, I promise.”

There was still no reply from the inert form on the bed. Crowley slowly blinked and then placed his hands on either side of the wound. A harsh cry rang out, and Crowley almost let go. But then he reminded himself that this was coming and held on.

Then he closed his eyes and focused everything into drawing out the poison and repairing the damaged flesh. The poison turned his stomach. The knitting of soft tissue drained him. But Crowley was sure that none of it could compare to how dreadful Aziraphale felt right now.

Once he was certain that the wound was purified and healed, Crowley let go, releasing a long sigh as he did. Aziraphale was completely out, boneless, his wings drooping over the sides of the bed.

Crowley scooted to the foot of the bed, lying down and curling into a ball on his side. He wanted to be there when Aziraphale woke up. He told himself it was just to make sure that Aziraphale was going to recover.

It hurt too much to acknowledge that it was also because he couldn’t bear the thought of Aziraphale being alone after all that.

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

OBC Hadestown Recording Review by a Non-Professional that you didn’t ask for

Alt. click-bait title: THEMES! THEMES! THEMES!

so i just listened to the Hadestown OBCR

so as practice, i’m going to do this review (i have a lot to say if you hadn’t noticed) like a sandwich--positives, mixed, neutral, negatives, more positives

and yes, I compare it to the NY version. it would be Impossible for me not to, considering that’s all I had for years. but I did listen to it with an open mind and wide-eyed excitement

YAS QUEEN

Amber Grey and Patrick Page, lovely as always

I’m glad they introduced Hades in “Road To Hell” also that Hermes is like...is there another god? oh yeah, ME!

Eva Noblezada was AMAZING and I love her Eurydice

Reeve Carney sounds like an wide-eyed, naive, optimistic musician and it’s Wonderful

the overall themes and a more cohesive story--like there were of course themes threaded thru the NY recording, but the themes were much stronger in this version

Hermes being Orpheus’s mentor, rather than just the narrator and occasionally interacting with Orpheus bc he can? the exchange between them reads less like “I’m kind of picking on your bc you’re an artist” and more like “yikes, bro, you messed up. and bc I’m your mentor, and the god of Travelers, I’mma help you out a little”

oh yes, LOVE LOVE LOVE “Wedding Song” and oh, I LOVED that he sang his song in this version (hope to see what happens on stage some day ;_;)

the OBC version of “Livin’ it Up on Top” is still fun as always and I love they included the joke “to hell and back”

Orpheus’s lyrics in “All I’ve Ever Known” are So. Soft. our soft, poor boy Orpheus

Reeve and Eva’s voices fit together really well and I’m cry

“A Gathering Storm” is just Gorgeous storytelling right there, mmhmm. And oh shit, the “It’s not supposed to be like this” damn. And Eurydice’s “bring the world back into tune” Love it.

oh dude, the doubt in “Epic II” mirroring Orpheus’s later doubt poetictheater.jpeg

the lead in from “Epic II” to “Chant” always Great. And oh man, loved more of the storytelling and Eurydice’s lyrics in “Chant” okay but the juxtaposition of Hermes telling Orpheus telling him to look up while the Chorus chants to keep your head low oh jeez. And Eva sounds Great in “Chant” like DAMN

shaken, not stirred

Andre De Shields, sorry bro.

intellectual: I think his performance was great and the way he portrays Hermes fits really well with the style and aesthetic of Hadestown.

emotional: unfortunately, I don’t like his voice. and yes, I’m definitely biased for NY Hermes, but this is like a personal preference type thing. his voice is like the opposite of a stim for me... :\ which is unfortunate, because I did enjoy his performance

“Road To Hell” is before “Any Way The Wind Blows”

intellectual: it definitely fits this version, and I really liked hearing more about Eurydice and understanding her struggles and why falling in love with Orpheus is such a big thing for her

emotional: but I kinda liked the order in the NY version. it kinda felt like a preface to the story itself, and like even tho Hermes is the narrator, beginning with a song the Fates sing, it shows who’s truly in charge (they DO in fact control the speed at which lobsters die)

tho if I’m being honest, “Livin’ it Up on Top” doesn’t quite have that kick the NY version has. idk if instruments or missing or there isn’t enough ppl singing, but there’s just something missing, which takes a little of the fun out of it

It again feels like something is missing from “Way Down Hadestown” :\

intellectual: I guess I understand why they gave Orpheus’s lyrics to the Fates and Hermes (bc like how would he know what it’s like down there, truly?)

emotional: but I also didn’t like it bc as I’ll talk abt a lot in a min, it really takes away from Reeve’s performance

I’m actually super disappointed that Reeve/Orephus wasn’t featured as much as in the NY recording. his voice is almost completely drowned out almost entirely through “Wait For Me.”

intellectual: I quite enjoyed that the rest of the cast acted as the stones echoing back his song, and that it fit with and strengthened the overall themes and plot of the musical. I’m glad that this version has a more cohesive story and stronger themes

emotional: but it was no longer about Orpheus and his journey, and I think they could’ve kept the themes while also featuring Reeve’s voice. esp in such an Iconic song for Orpheus like “Wait For Me”

“If It’s True” I was tempted to put this in the negatives section bc I feel like it really takes away from Orpheus’s story (get ready to here a lot of repetition sorry not sorry fam). but there are some things I liked abt it.

intellectual: I liked that in the OBC version, that it was more abt the theme they’d introduced abt the workers’/chorus’s struggle and Hades’s struggle to keep them nameless, so to speak. I also did like that they show Orpheus’s worldview change. and fucking finally gave Reeve a chance to shine (kinda, with interjections from Hermes and the Chorus)

emotional: but I do think they went abt it the wrong way, bc I liked that it addressed just Orpheus and his feelings of what’s gone on (specifically Eurydice belonging to Hades) in the NY version, and I didn’t like that in the OBC version that it Was more abt the themes. I also felt like it got a little preachy. Like that’s not what I thought the original “If It’s True” was abt yo. I get it fits with the overall theme and message they want to get across, but I don’t think their execution was that Great :\ I also really liked that in the NY version, him just being sad is what moved both Persephone and the Chorus

“Wait For Me (Reprise)” is the same as with “Wait For Me”

intellectual: I’m not saying  that the new, stronger themes are bad or anything--like I’ve said, I Loved that they strengthened the themes and made the musical more cohesive overall.

emotional:

(+): Okay but also I really Love Eurydice singing what Orpheus sang in “Wait For me”

(-): Reeve’s voice is often drowned out and it’s no longer about his and Eurydice’s story as much (it’s in the very first song! “brother, thus, begins the tale of ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE”). I really do think they could have gone about it in a way that highlights Reeve as Orpheus AND keeps with the theme and the message they wanted to get across by including the Chorus. I mean look! Look! Reeve stands off to the side or isn’t singing for like ALMOST THE WHOLE SONG DUDE. he gets 36 measly seconds singing in this song, I timed it. it’s a 3 mins and 12 second song. and most of those seconds are spent singing the song with the chorus (I do not, however, really count the times Hermes is speaking bc those lines are Great and when Eurydice is singing at the end, but Still!). like I said, I’m so glad they have Eurydice singing his song back to him, but I Really Do Think they could have composed it so it was still Orpheus’s song (with Hermes, and Eurydice at the end, keep that of course!), but held those stronger themes.

“Doubt Comes In” ...like at this point, are you even surprised?

intellectual: strong themes. great. okay.

emotional:

(+):  I Loved Eurydice’s part in this, encouraging Orpheus even tho he can’t hear her. I also did love that they added in Orpheus’s thoughts--pique drama, I LOVED it

(-): third verse, same as the first (and second): Reeve just wasn’t featured as much as I would have liked him to be! the Fates get the lines Orpheus used to sing! when Orpheus sang, “where are you? where are you now?” the first time more steady and sing-song-y, the second time more desperate (but still beautiful holy shit Damon Daunno was Amazing) as he starts to go out of his mind,,, i felt that and i’m incredibly disappointed (and angry lbr) that they took those lines away from Orpheus.

not really a point, but this needs its own bullet point: it just does Reeve a huge disservice, bc he’s a Great Orpheus. I Loved his Orpheus, but the fact that he’s taken out of so much of the story he’s the protagonist in detracts severely from his performance, and it’s a damn shame

I did really liked that they made the “la la la” more complicated in “Epic III” and when Persephone and Hades danced, and how it was softer, but I also liked how powerful the “la la la” crescendo as Hermes, Persephone (I believe) and the Chorus joined in along with the instruments was in the NY version so,,, ¯\_( : \ )_/¯

I don’t think they changed any of the lyrics for “Road To Hell (Reprise)” (they added stuff, sure) but it sounded and felt different, and I’m upset that it wasn’t the same as the NY. it’s in this section tho, bc it was still good (think I like the NY version just slightly better, but I do like the OBC version too, but for different reasons)

neutral(ish)

the change of characters who says/sings lines isn’t my fave, but it’s not bad either and, based on the theme and more cohesive storyline, it makes sense

I’m trying to decide if Patrick Page’s descent from a higher vocal range into a lower one is a stylistic choice, but I don’t feel one particular way about it or another (except for the fact that it didn’t sound like him I questioned if it was at first)...tho the bass drops for “Hey Little Songbird” so maybe it was a stylistic choice and if so, Brilliant! (but it will stay in this spot since I can’t tell if that was intentional)

I’m a little surprised they didn’t give Eurydice her spot light in “Why We Build the Wall” but it’s not like it changes the story much. I think I just liked that she stood out, and with those lyrics, bc it’s dramatic irony--we know her mistake but she doesn’t yet realize that it is a mistake she’s made

“Word to the Wise” it was good. not great. I liked NY version better, but I think I mildly like NY Fates better bc they sang in a very harsh and solid way. like in some parts the OBC Fates do too, but not in the songs where it matters (to me)

the changes made to the Epics. I liked the more story-telling aspect of them, but I also didn’t quite love the changes. but the songs themselves were still p great, so (it’s here, rather in the mixed section) bc I don’t particularly feel as strong one way or another abt the NY Epics compared to the OBC Epics

Once again, I feel like smth is missing from “Word to the Wise” :\ like some kind of instrument to really push it into extraordinary, to hold it up. But the Fates were a little better at being brutal so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i guess

hard no, babe

that being said, regarding first point in the neutral section, I didn’t like that they took away (even) more of Orpheus’s lines because it then removes (even) more of his voice, when he’s HALF THE FEATURE OF THE STORY. I know it’s really about two love stories (and like I said before, it does strengthen the themes and overall storyline), but the main focus was Orpheus and Eurydice !!!

the sound of the train whistle. mmm, I’ll pass. it’s so dinky. bring back the NY train!

The way Reeve says/sings some of his lines (not all of ‘em tho) could use some work? doesn’t sound great. didn’t love it. idk if it was a stylistic choice on the director’s part or Reeve’s own choices in how he wanted to play Orpheus, but I didn’t agree with them. I think he uses his falsetto a little too much for some lines. And let me tell you, was very afraid they were going to do that three-voice thing (like in the concept album) when Orpheus meets Eurydice. glad they didn’t, but I also didn’t really think they needed it at all

I’m actually uber disappointed they took out the old radio sound for Hermes in “Wait For Me.” I just really liked it man.

ngl, I. was. Heartbroken. when they’d changed the lyrics to Epic III (which is why it’s in this section :\). Esp like I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY CHANGED “where is the man, WITH HIS HAT IN HIS HANDS, who stands in the garden, with nothing to lose” (emphasis mine). like, again, i understand the changes were made to keep with the themes introduced, BUT can you Imagine. holding the whole world in your arms (when Hades gets the girl) compared to holding something so small and insignificant (BEFORE Hades gets the girl). COME ON! it’s like the perfect juxtaposition AND I thought it made Hades much more human AND it still keeps with the themes. (tho I am glad they kept that part at all bc when I realized how much of “Epic III” they changed, I was worried they’d taken that part out too. it’s in this section tho bc the changes are unforgivable overall)

Come Home With Me I and II (Reprise) !!! I’m extremely sad they changed the lyrics so much. Admittedly, I do like the first “Come Home With Me” introducing his song that will bring spring back. But the changes are too unforgivable for me to put it in the mixed section. I really liked Orpheus’s proposal in “Come Home With Me II” in the NY version and that repetition of “say I do, I came all the way just to ask you to” and then the Fates step in and are like, “Mmm, sorry boo, she belongs to Hades now” and the song ending with Eurydice saying “I do” but with a totally different meaning. like okay, the OBC version fits more with the theme, and I’m glad they still kinda included it in “Papers” (I do actually like the way it’s composed in “Papers” if I’m being honest, the “I did. I do.” just,,, hits me) but it’s too unforgivable to put in the mixed section. OH GOD and. esp,,, okay Listen. HOW could they take out “are you always this confident?” // “when I look at you I am” and then later hearing Hades sing, “Orpheus the undersigned SHALL NOT LOOK BEHIND // SHE’S OUT OF SIGHT and he’s out of his mind” LIKE COME ON MAN that was Perfect AND YOU TOOK IT OUT ???

the Fates in their “Way Down Hadestown (Reprise)” I Loved the NY bc they Tore into Eurydice (I love my girl, but that song is a Bop and they are Ruthless). the way they sang, it was harsh and cutting. in the OBCR...not so much. It’s too sing-songy and embellished (is the best way I can explain it), and I was disappointed bc it was one of my fave songs in the NY version. not to mention, I Did Not Like Eurydice’s lyric changes. and I know that it strengthens the themes, and I did actually like that they showed Eurydice losing herself as she worked (esp bc it adds more to “Flowers” and again strengthens the thread linking the songs), but I disliked it as a whole enough that it can’t be saved to be moved into the mixed section

OH NO I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. THEY CHANGED “YOU’RE EARLY” // “I MISSED YOU” TO “IT’S YOU” // “IT’S ME” // “ORPHEUS” // “EURYDICE” FUCK YOUR THEMES but for real, I think keeping “you’re early” // “I missed you” would’ve have kept with the theme way more than what they changed it to bc 1) they’re referencing smth the two litchrally just said to each other. and 2) THAT’S WHAT PERSEPHONE AND HADES SAID TO EACH OTHER WHEN HE CAME TO GET HER FROM HADESTOWN AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW. it’s a theme that’s introduced in the beginning of the musical--“it’s a tale from long ago”--bc Persephone and Hades’s relationship was SUPPOSED to mirror Orpheus and Eurydice right? there’s the fact that Orpheus’s song is what Hades heard long ago like ??? a HUGE Point of Orpheus and Eurydice’s love story was to remind Persephone and Hades about the love they shared when they first met (“wait for me?” // “I will”). and gosh darn it, it still would’ve fit the themes if they had stuck with “you’re early” // “I missed you” bc of that!

SPEAKING OF I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY TOOK OUT PERSEPHONE’S LYRICS IN “CHANT (REPRISE)” LIKE WHAT like it worked so well !!! (esp bc I’ve read reviews of the show, with Hades and Persephone circling Orpheus and Eurydice as they’re dueling and switching the direction they walk when the chorus makes that “kch” noise like poetictheater.jpeg) it was such a good juxtaposition between what Hades thinks Persephone wants and what Persephone actually wants (I do like that “Chant (Reprise)” is more complicated composition-wise, but not enough to move it into the mixed section). ALSO “He said we’d build ‘em up // And then the walls would set us free” // “Is it true, what he said?” // “He said we’d soldier on // And then the war would bring us peace.” I thought that got across the message quite well in the NY version, esp since they were echoing Orpheus’s “if it’s true.” they’re also just Great lines and I Cannot Believe they took them out 

YAS QUEEN

I’m a HOE for singing in the round, and the beauty of Orpheus’s “la la la la” joined in by the chorus in “Wait For Me” got me like. OKAY AND THE LYRIC ADDITIONS I LITERALLY CANNOT IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL AND POETIC AND GOOD WHEN ORPHEUS SANG “I HEAR THE ROCKS AND STONE, ECHOING MY SONG, I’M COMING”

I mean,,, how can you Not like “Our Lady of the Underground.” I also really enjoyed the more jazzy feel. Like it was already jazzy, but it’s even more jazzy in this version, to me

if you couldn’t tell, I loved Reeve and his Orpheus

“Papers” is Great and idk why but I Love “everything and everyone in Hadestown, I own.”

oh shit dude, Orpheus’s song being something from long ago that he like picked up on bc Greek mythology be like that and then HADES RECOGNIZING THE SONG. THAT. WAS. BRILLIANT.

“Flowers” felt like it fit much better in this version, with the themes being stronger and all that. also could actually hear it clearly, so that could be why bc I’m pretty sure they didn’t change a single lyric lol. still Loved it

the lyric additions to “Wait For Me” I’M SCREAM SO GOOD (even tho I’ve mentioned this before lmao)

“How Long” was. so. good. I just really enjoyed the exchange between Persephone and Hades in this song

DUDE I JUST REALIZED “NOW I SING A DIFFERENT SONG” FROM THE ONE ORPHEUS REMINDS HADES OF BRILLIANT

“Oh, it’s about me?” that made me laugh out loud. Oh god Also the repetition of lyrics in “All I’ve Ever Known” in “Epic III” to show that Orpheus and Eurydice’s love mirrors Persephone and Hades’s? poetictheater.jpeg

“Promises” omg. I actually liked this one better than NY “Promises” sorry not sorry. don’t get me wrong, Eurydice has every right to tell Orpheus off since he made all those promises he couldn’t keep in the NY “Promises” but in OBC “Promises” it feels more mutual. it feels softer. rather than Eurydice going, “you done messed up A-A-Ron” it’s more like Orpheus going, “I done fucked up and I’m sorry.” Orpheus is more self-aware and I liked that.

dudes, I’m extremely happy they added Eurydice back in for “We Raise Our Cups” it really rounds everything out. And it’s just a really good epilogue song. (I’m curious to see if Reeve is out on stage for this or if he stays backstage)

Final thoughts: the stronger themes were Great. don’t get me wrong. okay. I liked that about this version. but I feel like by trying to be too In With The Times(TM) they lost some of the heart of the story, which ultimately detracted from Reeve’s performance as Orpheus.

sometimes I really think a story can be just a story about two people (or two love stories), and the themes and messages will find their way in naturally. it doesn’t need to be this big thing about everyone all of a sudden. at the very least, bc it’s obvious the themes and messages are stronger in the OBC version, it does take some work and planning, but I felt like they were trying just a tad too hard and ended up being too heavy-handed.

I thought the themes and message they were originally trying to get across got across just find in the NY composition (specifically for “Wait For Me (Reprise)” bc the themes are definitely stronger throughout the overall musical in the OBCR composition)

now, I’m not saying don’t include messages in your art, that’s what art is for! But I think they could have either kept it about how it was in the NY version, because there were still messages (just a little more lucid and not as strong) OR they could have composed it some way that kept the stronger themes and messages AND kept the importance and presence of Orpheus’s role, and Orpheus and Eurydice’s story.

for me, Orpheus, esp OBC and Reeve’s Orpheus, doesn’t strike me as the guy to start a revolution and lead the Chorus thru hell. Like when the Fates say, “who are you to think that you can hold your head up higher than your fellow man?” I honestly get confused bc,,, he... doesn’t think that though? He just loves Eurydice and wants to save her from Hadestown. and maybe that’s actually the point? that Orpheus wasn’t ready for the pressure suddenly put on him to not just lead Eurydice out but also all of Hades’s workers, so doubt came in. but then what was with “If It’s True?” which, as I said, did start to sound pretty preachy? not to mention, the one time their themes and messages aren’t clear

anyway, long story long, the way I see Orpheus is his voice just does That. it doesn’t have to have some secret, overarching message for his songs to influence and move people. in the original “If It’s True” he sang about his loss and it was emotional enough to move Hades’s workers. to me Orpheus’s gift, his music, his voice is about emotion. and I think of Coco in that respect: “de la Cruz was a nobody, but when he sang, people listened” paired with, “I didn’t write it for the world, I wrote it for Coco” yet “Remember Me” (and all his songs) still resonated and moved people

so anyway, here’s my Hadestown hot take: Reeve wasn’t nominated for a Tony because the new composition underutilized him as Orpheus

no i don’t take criticism

[catalinda04]

Carried Away Chapter 58: Ch...ch...ch...changes

Masterlist 

NSFW

    Lucy arrived home late on Monday night, taking Tuesday to organize her schedule, and prepare for the rest of the week. She felt like a zombie all through her start of the year inservice day on Wednesday and still hadn’t fully recovered from her jet-lag by Thursday, yawning her way through staff meetings, and preparing her classroom for the school’s Open House that evening.

    Lucy accepted many congratulations and well wishes from parents, students, and fellow staff members on her engagement; many asking details about the wedding. Lucy held them off with specifically vague answers; she and Henry had decided to keep the wedding plans as under wraps as possible. Toward the end of the staff presentation to the parents, Lucy could feel herself start to fade, the only thing that kept her going was the knowledge that Henry would be waiting for her when she got home.

    She arrived home after the Open House to find Henry asleep on her bed, with Kal curled up by his feet. She smiled down at his sleeping form, brushed the damp curl that lay across his forehead, and kissed him softly before exiting. When she had ensured all the doors were locked, and she’d finished her nighttime routine, Lucy climbed into bed beside him. Though she tried not to, he awoke when she curled into his side. He curled his arm around her shoulders as she laid her head on his chest. He raked his hand through her hair, as she swirled her fingers in his chest hair.

“How could I have missed you this much? It’s only been three days,” Henry commented, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Have you met me? I’m unforgettable,” Lucy quipped.

“Yes, you are,” he replied, tilting her chin up to kiss her lips. His hands caressed down her back to cup her bottom as he took the kiss deeper. Lucy made a move to straddle Henry’s hips when her leg met with an obstacle.

“So, are you going to be the bad guy, or…” she trailed off.

Henry nudged the dog with his foot. “Kal, living room.” The dog whined in protest.

Lucy sat up and scratched behind the dog’s ears, “please Kal, mummy and daddy want some alone time.” Through the low light in the room, Lucy could see Kal give her a side-eyed look, before bounding off the bed, and padding into the living room.

    “Mummy and daddy?” Henry asked incredulously.

“Come December, Kal will be half mine. I will be his mum.”

“Well, then mummy, what do you say to letting daddy show you just how much he’s missed you?”

“I’d say that sounds wonderful,” she answered, pressing her body close to his, kissing him deeply, letting Henry lay her down. Their kisses grew hotter, and longer, as their hands explored flesh that had longed for the other’s touch.

Henry drew Lucy’s tank top up, exposing her stomach to his kisses. He kissed his way from her waist, slowly, teasingly, raising her top a centimeter at a time, until finally her breasts were exposed. He lingered over her breasts, taking time to kiss every inch, before focusing on their rosy peaks. Lucy moaned as his mouth closed over her nipple, teasing it with his tongue. When she thought she could take no more, he moved to her other breast, giving it the same torturously slow treatment.

When he finally lifted her top all the way off, and flung it across the room, Lucy grabbed Henry’s face with both her hands, her fingers tangling in his curls. She brought his mouth to hers. While their mouths ate at each other, Lucy lifted her pelvis, trying to get any sort of contact where she wanted it most, but he evaded her. She tore her mouth away from his, searching his eyes for a clue to his attitude. They twinkled with mischief. It was then that Lucy knew she was in for a frustrating but pleasurable time. He winked at her, before attacking her mouth again, he lowered himself to lay next to Lucy. His hands, suddenly free, slowly mapped her torso, down her ribcage, past her bottom, taking a second to grab a handful, and press her against his growing length, before continuing down to her thigh.

Henry’s hand gripped her knee, hitching it over his hip, creating a delicious friction that sent sparks all through Lucy’s system. He thrust against her twice more, making her yearn for there to be less clothes separating them, when he lowered her knee, breaking the contact. Henry’s lips skimmed over Lucy’s neck, and shoulders. They lingered for just a second at her breasts before continuing on their journey.

He kissed along the waistband of the men’s boxers she favored for sleeping, before hooking his fingers inside to pull them lower across her hips. Just as he had with her tank top, he was torturously slow removing her shorts, lowering them a centimeter at a time and taking time to cherish the skin that had been exposed.

He followed the shorts, all the way down her legs, alternately kissing or nipping at her thighs, knees, ankles. When he finally made his way back up her body, and pressed his mouth to her core, Lucy cried out, her fingers digging into his shoulders. His tongue swirled and dipped, driving her closer to the edge. With one final flick of the tip of his tongue, Lucy fell over the precipice, screaming his name. He continued his teasing as she came down from her high, not letting her recover, before kissing his way back up her body.

He entered her slowly, continuing his teasing, keeping his thrusts slow. Lucy wrapped her legs around his waist, urging him to go deeper, faster. Finally, when Henry could tell she was on the brink, his intensity increased, his body driving into her in a frantic rhythm. Lucy screamed out his name, again and again as she clung to him as they climaxed together. Henry collapsed on top of Lucy, while she held him close, both struggling to catch their breath.

Eventually Henry rolled off of Lucy, and drew her tight to his side, her leg thrown across his. “We should look for a house without any neighbors if you’re going to be so vocal.”

“It’s your fault,” Lucy countered.

“I will accept that accusation,” Henry said, pressing a kiss to her lips.

Lucy rolled away from Henry to set the alarm on her side of the bed, before cuddling back up to his side. “We should get some sleep. We meet with the realtor slash rental agent tomorrow at 10:00. This jet lag has been kicking my bum.”

“I shall do what I can to help you sleep,” Henry soothed, planting a kiss to the top of her head while caressing her back.

The following morning Lucy and Henry arrived at the realtor’s office at precisely 10:00, both had bags under their eyes, both suffering from jet-lag, and clutching large vessels full of their chosen caffeine source.

“Hello, I’m Jack Johnson, you must be Lucy and Henry?” A man asked approaching them. He was tall and broad, in his mid-fifties, with salt-and-pepper hair and a slight beer belly.

“Yes, we are.” Lucy confirmed, shaking the hand that was offered. Jack led them back to his office.

“Now, I got your email, Lucy, and I have some sites to show you here at the office before we go out into the field, but why don’t you tell me exactly what it is we’re looking for.”

“Henry and I got engaged last month,” Lucy said holding up left hand to show off the ring Henry had placed their a month prior.

“Congratulations,” Jack interrupted.

Lucy smiled at him, “thank you. Henry is not from here, and our plan is to move to London sometime in June. I’m a teacher, and I need to fulfill my contract for the year. I own a house here in town, but it’s not big enough for the two of use, and Henry’s very large dog. So we’re looking for something to rent through the middle of June at least, as well as putting my house on the market, thought it won’t be ready for that for a little bit.”

“So we’re looking to both rent and sell. We can take care of all of that for you. We’ll make another appointment for me to come look at your house so we can get that on the market to sell, but for now. I pre-selected some properties that fit in the parameters you sent me last month.” Jack said, producing several manilla folders. He handed the first to Lucy and Henry. She opened the folder to see a picture of two story house, in town, with very close neighbors. They read through the specs of the house. The more Lucy read, the less she liked the house.

“I don’t think this will work for us. I don’t want the only shower to be in the basement, and we want something with some land possibly. Kal, Henry’s dog, needs some room to roam.” Lucy explained.

“Fair enough,” Jack said, taking the folder back, “what kind of dog is Kal?”

“He’s an Akita. And he has the energy level of my four year old nephew,” Henry laughed.

“I understand. I’ll show you this file, since we went to the trouble of compiling it for you, but I don't think this is what you’re looking for. Give me just a few minutes. I need to run to our file room. I’ll be right back.” Jack said, excusing himself.

    Lucy and Henry perused the file Jack had given them. Neither cared for the barn style house that was featured. Jack returned about ten minutes later carrying five files.

    “I found these in our files. You didn’t give me a range of what kind of rent you’re willing to pay, so these cover the whole spectrum. Most of these properties are on lakes, and have at least a bit of land accompanying the house.” He handed the stack of files to them.

    They rejected the first two properties as not right, either too small, or too far from Lucy’s school. The other three properties had promise, and they requested to view them. They followed the realtor in his car to the first property. In the pictures it had looked idyllic. In reality, the cabin was cramped, and the driveway leading to it was dotted with dips and potholes.

    The second property was large. It was almost a lodge, on the lake. Jack spent time showing them all of the amenities from the hot tub on the deck, the flat top griddle in the kitchen, to the movie viewing room. Lucy fell in love with the kitchen the moment she saw it. Though both Henry and Lucy liked the property, they still wanted to see the third place. They discussed the lodge while they drove.

    “I love it,” Lucy started, “but don’t you think it’s a bit big for just us? There are six bedrooms. We only need one, two if you develop a snoring problem.”

    “I’ll agree, it’s is quite large, but then we’ll have room for guests, such as my parents and brothers when they come for the wedding.”

    “There are four bathrooms. I don’t like cleaning one, let alone four.” Lucy countered.

    “First, it’s two full baths, two half-baths. Second, I’ll make you a deal. You clean one, I’ll clean the other three. Besides, did you see that fireplace in the living room? You know what would be really fun in front of the fireplace?” Henry asked suggestively.

    Lucy made a noise of agreement, “I could read so many books in front of that fireplace,” she sighed wistfully.

“Yes, that is exactly what I was talking about.” Henry deadpanned. “But seriously. What do you think?”

“I’m just afraid that it’s going to be too big for just the two of us, and you’ll be gone for six weeks this fall, and who knows how long in the spring, so I’ll be there all by myself…”Lucy trailed off.

“You’ll have Kal to keep you company.” Henry reminded her.

“If you really like it, we’ll take it, but I’d like to see this third one before we make a decision.” Lucy acquiesced.

Henry took Lucy’s hand to kiss her knuckles, “darling, if you don’t like the lodge, we will find something else.”

“Thank you, Darcy.”

The third house, was also on the large side. It featured five bedrooms, and three baths. While The Lodge, as Henry and Lucy had taken to calling it, had things to offer other than the lake, this house’s main feature was that it was on the lake. A lot of energy had been spent on the outside areas, while the inside of the house was dated bordering on shabby. Compared to The Lodge, it just couldn’t hold up.

They all went to Jack’s office to sign the rental agreement on The Lodge, which Jack told them would be ready for them by the following Friday. They returned to Lucy’s house to tell Kal the good news.

They spent the long Labor Day weekend sorting and packing Lucy’s belongings, what would come with them to The Lodge, what would be sold with the house, what would be sold at a garage sale Lucy was planning.

The first day of school arrived, and Henry and Kal both saw Lucy off for the morning. Once she had Ryan and Mindy in the car, she broke the news to them that she wouldn’t be part of the carpool, but promised to invite them to a barbeque once she and Henry were settled in The Lodge.

Lucy greeted her second year students when they came into class. She handed out the syllabus for the class, explaining her expectations for the class. “So, if you just remember the expectations, we’ll have a good year. Now, are there any questions?”

A girl with black hair raised her hand, “Is it true that you and Henry got engaged this summer?”

Lucy chuckled at the girl’s question. “Well, Hailey, as much as I would love to tell you that yes I am engaged, I was asking if anyone had any questions about the syllabus.” Lucy replied, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear with her left hand, prominently displaying her engagement ring.

Lucy fielded similar questions from students all day, each time giving a similar non-answer, with a wink. She, Ryan, and Mindy had all decided to stay late that day, to get a few things sorted. Lucy spent her time, getting her plan for the first two weeks of lessons in order.

Lucy’s first week of school passed uneventfully, and Friday evening, she and Henry went to Jack’s office to claim the keys to The Lodge. Lucy had packed most of the things she was planning to bring with her to The Lodge, and she and Henry would spend the next day moving.

Henry awoke around 3:00 am Saturday morning to find Lucy’s side of the bed empty, and cold. He found her, sitting on the floor absentmindedly petting Kal who sat at her side, staring at the pile of boxes and totes that they would be moving later that day.

He sat on her other side, drawing her close to his body. “Darling, what’s wrong?”

“It’s all starting.” She said cryptically.

“What’s all starting?”

“This has been my home for the last five years. I bought it. It’s in my name, and I’m just going to give it all up. For a guy.”

“Hey, are you still worried that I’m going to change my mind?” He asked, tipping her chin up to look him in the eye.

She sighed, stymied for a single answer. “I know you love me, and you won’t leave, but I’ve spent my entire adult life being invisible to men. I keep waiting for you to come to your senses, and when you do, I’ll be left without a home.”

Henry sighed, he grasped Lucy’s face in his hands. “Lucy, listen to me. I love you. I am not going to leave you...again. I want to spend my life with you. I know that you’re having to give up a lot to be with me, and I keep waiting for you to come to your senses and realize that I’m not worth all of your sacrifices. I love you and I want to be with you.”

“Oh, Henry, I know you’re not going to leave me, I believe you when you say it, but there’s still this part of me, the “I don’t need no man” part that I’ve carefully cultivated over the last decade that’s fighting me. Plus change is hard, and so much is changing.”

“But change isn’t always bad. Everything IS changing, but it’s changing for the better. We’re going to spend the rest of our lives together. We’re going to have babies, and we’ll love them more than life itself. Now, will you come back to bed, we’ve got a lot of work to do today.” Henry said, standing, before helping Lucy off the floor.

As they walked back to the bedroom, Lucy commented, “you know, Kal is really good at keeping me calm.”

“It’s part of his training. His emotional support certification isn’t a joke. We went through training. He can tell when someone needs the support, and won’t leave their side until he feels like his job is done.”

Lucy stopped, and knelt down to the dog, rubbing him behind the ears and planting a kiss on his forehead. “Thank you buddy. I love you.” He smiled at her.

The move went smoothly, and Lucy and Henry spent the next several weekends preparing her house to go on the market. Any time that wasn’t devoted to the house was spent making wedding decisions.  Before Lucy knew it, it was time for Henry to leave for filming. He left Kal in Minnesota with Lucy.

Lucy only heard from Henry via text for the first four days of him being gone. When they finally had the opportunity to FaceTime, Lucy gasped when the call connected. “What did they do to you?! Where are your beautiful curls?” She all but yelled.

“I told you this is a military film. You didn't expect that they would cut my hair?”

“I was expecting a side-fade, not that they’d shave your head! Will it grow back before the wedding?”

“Probably not, darling. Sorry.”

Lucy took a deep, calming breath. “Then I guess I have three months to come to terms with that. So, other than them maiming you, how is everything going?”

“Really, well. It’s so hot here, but everyone is really great. There’s a group of us that play poker at night.”

“That sounds like fun. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. But I’ll be home just in time for Thanksgiving, at which point our wedding will be just a month away.”

“There’s still so much to do.”

“I know there is, but please remember to delegate, or ask your mother to help. I don’t want you stressing yourself out before our wedding. You’ll make yourself sick.”

“Ok.” Lucy agreed on a sigh. “Now, tell me about Jordan. Is it beautiful?”

As October turned to November, Lucy was kept busy with school, the play, Heather’s baby shower, and wedding planning. She watched as RSVPs for the wedding started to trickle in, and she fielded calls and emails wanting to know about the dress code for the wedding. “There isn’t really a dress code, except no jeans. Just wear what you would normally wear for a New Year’s Eve party,” was Lucy’s standard response.

Henry arrived home the Monday of Thanksgiving week, and Tuesday morning before school, Lucy received a call from Jessica letting her know that her dress would be in New York the following week, and could they schedule a fitting. She arranged to meet Jessica at her New York shop the following Saturday. Lucy disconnected the call and let out a “Whoop!” of excitement, which woke Henry.

“What’s going on?” He asked, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.

“That was Jessica, my dress is ready, I’m going to New York next weekend for a fitting!” Lucy exclaimed, doing a little dance in place.

Henry smiled at her exuberance. “Am I going to New York too?”

Lucy thought for a long moment, “I mean, you’re welcome to come with, but you’re not going anywhere near that dress store. You’ll try to sneak a peek, and I won’t stand for that.” She kissed him quickly on the nose, before reaching for her coat to leave for the day. “Let me know what you decide, I’ll book tickets this evening.” Sliding her feet into her boots, she looked up at Henry and smiled, “It’s really happening. We’re getting married.” She couldn’t contain her smile.

Henry smiled at her happiness. He strolled over to where she was gathering her bags, halting her movements. She turned to look at him. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently. Pouring all of the love for her he felt in that moment, before drawing her close. “I love you so much Cupcake. I don’t even have the words to describe it,” he said, into her hair.

“I love you too, Darcy,” she said into his chest. They stayed locked together in their embrace for several long moments, before pulling apart. Lucy looked up at him, and cupped his face in her hand. “Now, go back to bed, get some sleep. Then spend the day playing with Kal. He’s missed you so much. He’s already been fed this morning, don’t let him guilt you into feeding him again this morning.” She said, looking down at the dog who had planted himself at their side. His face a picture of innocence.

Henry pressed on more quick kiss to her lips, “Go. Mold young minds,” he said, turning her toward the door, and swatting her bottom.

Lucy’s smile stayed with her during her entire drive to work. It seemed her life was all falling into place.

Chapter 57         Chapter 59

[katharinajephcot-blog]

What Are The Most Standard Music Genres In America?

Throughout the United States individuals are keen about all types of music, but have you ever ever wondered which musical genres are hottest by which locations. Musicology , the tutorial examine of the subject of music, is studied in universities and music conservatories. The earliest definitions from the 19th century outlined three sub-disciplines of musicology: systematic musicology , historical musicology , and comparative musicology or ethnomusicology In 2010-period scholarship, one is more more likely to encounter a division of the discipline into music idea , music historical past , and ethnomusicology Research in musicology has usually been enriched by cross-disciplinary work, for instance in the area of psychoacoustics The study of music of non-Western cultures, and the cultural study of music, known as ethnomusicology. College students can pursue the undergraduate research of musicology, ethnomusicology, music history , and music theory via several different types of levels, including bachelor's levels, master's degrees and PhD degrees. Ron Moy is a lecturer at Liverpool John Moores College. For the past ten years, he has devoted himself to the delivery of a range of undergraduate courses, and now runs a degree programme in Common Music Research. Like a very good nerd, I not too long ago determined to map our decay" via samples of fashionable music from the final six decades. I grabbed Billboard's top 10 songs of the third week of April every 10 years since 1965, and analyzed them. Encompassing graffiti art, break dancing, rap music, and style, hip-hop grew to become the dominant cultural movement of the African American communities in the 1980s. The Hip hop musical genre had a robust affect on pop music within the late Eighties which nonetheless continues to the current day.

2.) Kotarba, J. A. (2018). Understanding society by means of well-liked music. New York, NY: Routledge. The next musician on the record of the top dancehall artists is the best in this style not solely in Africa however managed to turn out to be famous far past his native continent. The thoughtful lyrics of this Ghanaian musician made him so common. Shatta Wale also may be known as one the most productive dancehall artist as he drops hit after hit, the brightest are Ayo", Taking Over", and Low Tempo".

Mexican music is sort of influenced by this vigorous form of dance music. Bohemian migrants to Texas introduced the polka beats together with them. Ultimately, each the mariachi and ranchera were blended within the energetic polka beats, that later turned a necessary part of the norteño music. 36. Leyshon A. The Software Stoop?: digital music, the democratisation of expertise, and the decline of the recording studio sector throughout the musical economy. Atmosphere and planning. A. 2009 Jan 1;41(6):1309.

Not like Western artwork music, folks music is typically not notated or written down, though typically it can be. It is most frequently shared orally and taught from instructor to pupil by ear and can embrace something from a cappella English ballads, to advanced African drum patterns used for spiritual purposes, to the wealthy folk music traditions of South Asia involving sitars, tablas, and vocals. The key factors in distinguishing people music traditions from different methods of musical production are its conventional basis and communal composition. You aren't getting a nickname like "Live Music Capital of the World" by being second-charge, and with large-title festivals like SxSW, Fun Fun Enjoyable Fest, and ACL (to call just a few), Austin's obtained the rest of the nation beat handily so far as outdoor shows go. Even when there isn't a festival operating, although, you possibly can stop in at any of the myriad bars and eating places that serve up high quality dwell performances along with their normal fare, from Stubb's BBQ and Emo's to Donn's Depot and the Imply Eyed Cat. It also would not damage that the place produces wonderful expertise, too, with bands as different as Explosions in the Sky and Jamestown Revival - to not point out deceased legends Stevie Ray Vaughn and Janis Joplin - calling Texas' capital city home. To respect creative exploration, the creation of contemporary style names is important and have to be an ongoing process. Lumping all artists underneath the identical generic phrases — corresponding to metallic" or digital music" — disregards the identifying parts that make their creations particular, thereby lowering recognition of new ideas, obscuring the nature of previous creations, and undertaking the very factor genre detractors try to keep away from: it unnecessarily forces new music into bins with meaningless labels. In dance band mento, residence-made devices had been replaced by professional saxes and clarinets and basses. Usually, banjo was left behind in favor of electric guitar. Along with clarinet, piano was usually a featured instrument, as the music became overtly jazzy. Percussion was much less rustic, and sometimes had a Latin feel. Nearly the entire rural model's tough edges had been smoothed out. Within the Sixties, a calypso inflection was typically heard in city reggae, changing the jazz sound. Dance band mento appears to have largely died out by the 70s, whereas the unique rural type continued. Nevertheless, the musicians of this type of mento contributed vastly to the jazz that was such an necessary ingredient of ska. People might discuss with some or www.audio-transcoder.com all of a small group of classes when using period as the criteria for a music style. These include Early Music, Medieval Music , Renaissance Music, BaroqueMusic, Classical Music , www.goodreads.com Romantic Music, and twentieth Century Music. The definitions of these musicperiods are open to interpretation. For instance, the Classical period could possibly be outlined as lasting from 1730 to 1820 or from 1750 to 1830. Others would possibly say that it began within the late 18th century. All of those interpretations are current today.My favorite genre in music is nation music, because the singers express their feelings. Country music is completely different because your complete singer's relate to their youngster hood. In addition they relate to their family members. Additionally they relate to Iraq and the way members of the family react after they've been advised that their love ones aren't coming again residence. They categorical their love life's and make you concentrate on falling in love" at such a young age. They make you notice that life may be too quick so why waste it on being tied down to only one particular person.

[peaches-of-1]

Inktober Day 13: Guarded Demon

Title: Soul of a Siren

< Day 12 | Inktber18 | Day 14 >

Jin x Hispanic!Reader

Summary: The boys have a photoshoot by the beach and are allowed to freeroam after they’re done. Jin enjoys some time by himself, but soon finds out he’s not alone after all.

The blonde man had gone for a walk early this morning and stopped at the sea. It was as if a voice had called him here. Looking around, he saw ocean blessed hair adorned with a crown of seashells and pearls. She was absolutely beautiful and magical, so much so that Jin had to wipe his eyes to make sure he was really seeing scales. Purple and green scales that made a fishtail where human legs would supposedly be.

“Come to me. Darling come to me. My love come to me. Come to me. Come to me.” She sang and stopped when she saw the human. “Hello there. Did you hear my song, little human?”

He nodded. “Hi?” Jin pointed to her tail. “Is that real?” She laughed, “Of course it’s real, silly. I’m a mermaid.”

“Don’t you have to hide it to humans or whatever? I thought--” “Human movies are based off false history. We can show ourselves to whoever we want. We get to be on land as long as we want if it’s under 24 hours or we die, though. That is unless we fall in love with a human and a human falls in love with us. It doesn’t have to be romantic love either.”

“Oh wow. I never knew that.”

She smiled, “They never do. You’re very handsome by the way.” Jin blushed, “Thank you. I know. My name is Jin by the way. It’s nice to meet you.” “Call me Gia. Do you have time to see my kingdom? I want to show Papa my new song mate.” Jin furrowed his brows, “Song mate?” “We’re connected musically. No one but my song mate can hear my song.” Her eyes reflected the falling moon. “Fate?” “Yes. Come with me.” She held out her hand. Without hesitation, she grabbed Jin’s hand and made him jump into the water with her. His first instinct said he was going to drown since it had all been so sudden and unexpected, but instead his eyes met hers. He was fine. He could breathe. “Don’t let go.” She said.

The two swam to the depths of the sea. After getting through a particularly seedy sand bar, they were there. It was a beautiful underwater kingdom. Everyone’s scales were shining and the greeted the princess with a lowering of their eyes and kind smile. Gia took Jin to a special room and there were bracelets hanging on a candelabra. They were made out of seashells and bound by brown kelp.

“Put this on. You’ll be able to breathe and understand our language.”

He put on the Bracelet of Breath and made a joke about the item, calling it a Breath-let and laughing to himself about it. The Princess Gia laughed too and then told him to follow her to meet her father. He had just finished handling some business with some local children and a couple whose business got attacked during a feeding frenzy. He didn’t seem in the best mood and so Jin suggested that they do it later. Gia wasn’t listening, so she tugged him along.

“Papi, I have good news! This is Jin, he’s my song mate! I found him!”

The king was a very fit man, his abs had abs, his pecs had pecs, and there was a scar on his neck and on his eye, and he was a very scary man. However, when he smiled, it seemed like none of that mattered. He welcomed Jin as graciously as possible.

“Oh, my darling child, I am so glad you were able to find your song mate before your vocal cords gave out.” He held her cheeks and then put a large arm over Jin’s shoulder. “You, my measly land fleshling, are someone my daughter has looked hard and long for. She sang every day for years trying to find you...just like her sister.”

A sadness came over him and Gia rolled her eyes but swam to comfort her father. He thanked her and composed himself, turning his attention back on Jin.

“Just where the fuck have you been?”

It was odd hearing such a rough man say rough words with such a blinding smile. Jin explained that he was a idol, so he didn’t have much time to go to Korean beaches because he was always so busy and in other countries while on tour.

He gave a hearty laugh, “Well, I am grateful you finally decided to show up! Give this man the best room! We’ll host a party for you tomorrow. You’ll find we don’t have many rooms here, only one that you’ll need to heed until further notice.”

“What’s that?” Jin asked.

The king’s face became very dark and grim. An ominous red light seemed to surround him as he got face to face with Jin, “Don’t you dare leave your damn room without a fucking escort.” He smiled and it was all cheery and bright again with his smile. “Ok? Good.”

The Princess and several guards took Jin to his room on the third floor and made sure he had food to eat and a few backup bracelets in case anything were to happen. They didn’t want him dying on accident.

Alas, Jin couldn’t just follow the directions to stay in his room. And he didn’t really want anyone following him since he wanted to explore the castle with no intrusions. So he searched the walls for a secret exit because all castles had that, right? He found one under the coral rug and it was a set of stairs. A voice fit for heavy metal was down there, or maybe a rock ballad if they just calmed down a bit. Being Jin, he was a bit nervous but more curious to see where this path led. Going down the sandy staircase, he decided swimming down would be easier.

Was it that song bringing him here? Maybe, but he still swam. Everything had been going swimmingly, so he decided to take a chance. Once settling on the floor, Jin felt as though he needed to take a left instead of a right and two rights after that. This led him to a girl with freckles and a beautiful face in a eerie glow. He felt safe there, though. It wasn’t until then that he realized he had been so on edge. It was a new world to him after all, so he thought it was normal to feel such a way.

However, looking at this glow, this being that didn’t even seem to know he was there, Kim Seokjin felt protected. Her long dark hair floated in the atmosphere. There were two sleeping guards on either side of entrapment.

“Who are you?” The girl asked, not looking.

“Jin.” He continued to walk towards her and become part of the glow.

“No, stop!” She said right before he reached the cage she was trapped in.

Jin stopped. He could see that she had tan skin that flowed seamlessly into a glittering lavender tail.

She turned around and looked at him, “I’m (Y/N). You’re in danger. We both are, but I know how we can get out of here, song mate.”

He was confused, “I thought I was Gia’s song mate.”

“She uses that excuse all the time. Her voice can call any human she wants. You’re not safe here. Gia hasn’t told you the real reason why you’re down here. She wants you to marry her.”

“She what now? How do you know this?”

“She’s my older sister, and she tries to get cute guys to marry her by saying they are her song mate, that it’s fate. If they say no, she drowns them or locks them up. They die down here, Jin. I try to get them to come to me by using my Heart Song. That usually doesn’t work, so I just use the Come to Me song like Gia does. This is the first time my Heart Song has worked.”

He blinked, “So you’re actually my Song Mate?”

The trapped girl nodded.

The confused idol was now scared, “Ok, I believe you. I don’t wanna get married to anyone but you. I have a life that I quite enjoy on the surface that you’re obviously supposed to be a part of. How come you’re down here in the first place?”

(Y/N) sighed, “My magic is stronger than my sister’s since I’m a Siren and she’s not, so I’ve been locked up here to make sure I can’t do anything to stop her. I’m pretty sure she faked my death in order to get the throne.”

“She did, but Sirens are bad. They’re basically demons.”

She looked away, dark hair twisting and hovering around her head, “Only if their hearts get consumed by darkness.”

“Well, I can already tell you’re not like that. There’s too much light coming from you.“ Jin said, getting her to smile. “Alright, so how do we get you out? How do I stop her?”

“You have to sing. I know it’s dumb, but you have to sing that melody on the wall to help me get out of here. I can take it from there. Once they see I’m still alive, they’ll throw her in here instead and I can fix things.”

Jin scratched his head, “How come no one else has been able to free you?”

“They don’t have the range.” She pouted. “If you can’t do this, at least try to get out on your own.”

The talented idol chuckled and sang the high notes carved into the wall. As soon as he did, they disappeared and the cage went away. (Y/N) was free.

“Let’s get that bitchy fishy, huh?”

Jin laughed, “Nice.”

The two then entered the castle’s main room. They arrived during an argument between the King and Gia. She wanted the throne and was irate that she wasn’t getting it yet. He said that the search for (Y/N) wasn’t over yet, and so she wasn’t getting the crown until her sister’s death had been confirmed.

“You can call off the search, Papi. I never died.”

He started to cry, “(Y/N), is that you? My darling baby girl! Gia said you died!”

“Your daughter has been trapped in a cage that Gia put her in.” Jin stated and folded his arms. He then gave an unforgiving glare to the traitor.  “Also, I’m her Song Mate, not yours!”

“Is this true?”

The innocent Siren nodded, “It is. That puta in a puka necklace trapped me!”

Within seconds, Gia was thrown into the Trench and a celebration was held to welcome the rightful princess back to the people. Jin was having a great time, but he pulled his Song Mate to the side in the middle of it all.

“I have to go back to the surface. I’ll come back when I can so we can plan a wedding--”

She giggled, the pearls in her hair glistening in the light.

“What?”

(Y/N) held his hands, “A Song Mate is something that is so much more than a betrothed. Not everyone can find theirs, so even if I never see you again it’s enough to know that you’re mine and that we have an irreplaceable connection. Also, I thought Land Males hated getting married.”

“I’ve never felt so attached to someone in my life, (Y/N). If I don’t marry you, then I won’t marry anyone.”

“Then the next time you come to the ocean, we shall get wed. Until then, you have a life on land to get back to.”

It wasn’t long until Jin was flying to California for K-con. He had tried to go to the beach more often to see her again, but he never saw her. They were Song Mates, so they would find each other when the time was right. Still, he missed her so much. The day after the convention, the boys had 24 hours to do whatever they wanted. Most of them slept or played games. Jin got a slushie and went for a walk.

That’s when he heard it again. (Y/N). He ran to the closest ocean until she was right there waiting for him.

[the-crippled-god]

Ys II: Final

Oh wow is this so much of an improvement over Ys I.

Still playing the Chronicles+ version on PC, I don’t think I’d ever touched Ys II previously.

So, let’s start with the improvements:

Story: I understand now why Ys I and Ys II are mostly considered one big game, the story is very closely tied, and while Ys I is mostly setup and minor stuff, Ys II is a solid payoff. The biggest difference is the villain has a more immediate and vocal presence, frequently appearing to taunt Adol, or you see him and his flunkies conspiring behind the scenes. It maintains the good character writing from Ys I, and expands on the lore of Ys and Easteria in a way that makes a lot of stuff that was just fluff text in Ys I make sense.

Level Design: Again, a big step up from Ys I, areas are less cramped and much more elaborate, almost too the point where I wished the game had a mini-map. Dungeons get a bit more puzzely than Ys I especially towards the end (the final dungeon feels suitably sprawling and elaborate, despite the puzzles remaining fairly simple), but remain mostly hack and slash affairs. Towns also feel less cramped, and are spread out more evenly, making it seem more plausible that these are separate settlements rather than the same town, just separated by a wall or field, which is how they felt in Ys I.

Combat: As mentioned already, bumping at angles now works properly, and Ys II also has a magic system, that while basic, adds a much welcomed option for ranged combat.

Boss Design: Holy shit. Every boss in this game feels fair. There's still problems, which I'll get into, but none of the bosses drove me mad like several of the first games did. You still need to make sure you have the best equipment, and sometimes stop and grind for levels, but assuming you aren't way under the bosses level, all the boss fights feel fair.

This isn't to say the game was without problems, but most of these feel like limitations of the games original release and engine:

Enemy AI: With bumping at angles now operating as a non-direct bump, regular enemies might as well be jokes. I never died to regular enemies, though they did get me close once or twice. Although augmented over Ys I, enemy AI is still dead simple. Enemies will walk towards you at about 2/3rds your speed, if they bump you they do damage. In Ys II enemies can also do the following: Walk at angles, charge and release a melee attack with a wide-ish range, and fire a projectile attack. Enemies towards the end of the game occasionally have more elaborate special attacks, such as breathing a wide swath of fire, or charging up a big lightening AOE. However, enemies will almost never get to do special attacks, since doing damage to them cancels their charge up and most of the time you can just push enemies into corners and ram them to death.

Boss Design: Yeah, bosses are fair now, but they're also limited by the bump combat system. All but the last 2 bosses in the game are only vulnerable to your fire magic, meaning they play more like a clunky shmup than an RPG boss fight, which is novel the first couple times, but quickly gets monotonous. You also have access to multiple healing items in the game, for effectively free, and while you still can't swap items during a boss encounter, you can hold multiple of the same item (with a few restrictions) and use them all. Generally bosses felt too easy, even when I started intentionally fighting them while a little under the expected level.

Navigation: The big sprawling dungeons, limited tile sets, and easy access to fast travel magic meant I got lost a few times, and generally didn't fine I developed a memory of where key things were until right before the final boss.

I really liked this game.

I fully understand why this series was so well liked from this point forwards. For when this game originally game out, the story is super elaborate, with a lot of character, and a unique enough conclusion that makes me pretty excited to continue the series. Following from Ys I, after the battle atop Darn tower, Adol ends up in Ys, which as it turns out, was floating in the sky above Easteria the whole time! Guess Easteria never had a clear day in 700 years? (Or Ys had some kind of magical cloaking device or something.) We find demons are running rampant in Ys too, and with the help of some words from the Goddesses (who we're now pretty certain must be the blue haired girls from the first game) set out to stop the demons. Dallas is a much more direct villain than Dark Fact was, actively trying to stop our advance towards his stronghold, though he also goes out of his way to not actually kill us (even though he has several opportunities to do so), which is nice of him. Along the way we meet several more descendants of the Priests of Ancient Ys, and a bunch of other colourful characters.

At the very end of the game we finally get an explanation of what happened: The Easterians dug too deep. While they thought they were still mining silver in their mines they'd instead started mining Cleria, a metal that is the source of all magic, the goddesses had sealed the Cleria deep underground 700 years ago when they also sealed away Darn, the source of all demons (in a big black orb at the core of Ys). Dark Fact was able to use the Cleria (hence why he was stealing all that silver in Ys I) to unseal Darn, causing the demons (and the Stormwall) to appear, and also causing Ys to start lowering back towards the ground. As it turns out, the source of Demons, and the source of Magic are one and the same. 700 years ago the goddesses chose to seal away the demon bits, but keep the magic bits around (presumably to keep Ys from falling to the ground, killing everyone on it, and probably everyone below too, it's implied Ys was raised into the sky to escape the demons but we'll likely learn about that in Origin). This worked, so long as no one discovered how to use magic again. Dark Fact, being a descendant of the Priest Fact presumably already knew how to use magic, and just needed enough Cleria to use as a catalyst and break the seal, likely mistakenly believing he could control Darn. So, what does Adol do?

Well, with Ys already back on the ground, we slay Darn, destroying all demons, and all magic, forever.

The goddesses thank us (and they were indeed the girls from the first game), lament that they aren't really needed any more, and that they wish humanity would just learn to believe in themselves rather than some old goddesses, wishing instead that they could live as humans. All the captured people are reunited, and Adol goes to talk to the chronically ill girl who has a massive crush on him (one of at least 3 girls in these 2 games who does, not sure why he picks the one most likely to die first, but...).

I really liked the story. There's some stuff going forwards that still feels like I missed something for, like I know Dogi is supposed to be Adols best friend in Oath and forwards, but he's not in Ys II at all (other than being mentioned in the end cutscene) and all he does in Ys I is break you out of a jail cell 1 - 3 times. But overall discovering an ancient civilization not only still exists, but has basically already moved so far beyond that ancient society that even they don't remember how all the magical shit worked is cool. Finding out that you just destroyed all magic forever, by watching your MP bar slowly drain away after you destroy Darn, is really cool. I really like the games set pieces, it's weird that a game this old even had them, but climbing the clocktower felt genuinely tense, and little things like being able to (futiley) attack Darn when he appears to taunt you were quite charming. In the 1980s when this first came out this would've been mind blowing. Gameplay wise this was much more satisfying, if a little too easy compared to Ys I.

I'd absolutely recommend the Chronicles collection. Just, play Ys I on easy, and maybe play Ys II on hard. The games hold up surprisingly well, especially the second one.

Next is Ys Origin, which was I believe the last game made with the Napish engine (playing things in the intended story order means we'll almost always see later iterations of an engine first). I never finished Origin, I got about 80% through one campaign, and 25% through another. Looking forward to going back to it, especially now that the story won't just be meaningless gibberish to me.

[ikjun]

currently about to listen to spider by hoshi for the first time!! even though you’ve been posting about it for months!! will leave thoughts below as i’m listening

WHAT IS THIS PRODUCTION ITS SO COOL AND SPIDERY

VOCALSVOCALSVOCALS HIS VOICE IS LIKE HONEY (and all i could taste was the blood in my mouth and the bitterness of goodbye etc)

SKFJALDJ PRECHORUS BEAT

the producers are v good at using panning to add depth to the song

NO BUT THE VOCALS ARE ILLEGAL SERIOUSLY THEYRE SO GOOD

ok so i had to stop halfway through (☹️) bc my voice teacher came early but i’m back now lol

also i looked up the lyrics beforehand and i love how they’re specific and meticulously crafted but open to interpretation. and it was cool how my perception of the message of the song shifted as it went on

i really love the synths and the bass

FALSETTO

i thought hoshi was a rapper but i think i got him mixed up with someone else from svt lol

THE BEAT IS SO SO GOOD

his voice sounds light and (don’t go) dark at the same time it’s amazing

THE SEXY BREATHING SLFJALDK

the producers NAILED the reverb

it isn’t everyday that someone releases music that’s fresh and original and unexpected and this song is EXACTLY that. i wish i had listened to it sooner

i don’t have synthesia (if i remember correctly, you do, right?) but sometimes when i listen to a really good song i’ll have a sort of abstract visual suddenly come to mind and with this one i see a bunch of scattered orbs of light, all different colors, all super vibrant, very pretty like hoshi and his song. what color do you see? i’m so curious!!

i love how he made this song with a relatively small group of people. idk if he was the main writer not (i hope he is) but this is the song of the year decade century millenium etc

is there a video of him performing this in a crop top or sports bra or something? i know taemin did that for advice but i thought you mentioned hoshi did it too. i could be wrong though lol

anyway in conclusion i’m rating this one a solid 100/10 😌 ty for the unofficial rec <3

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS ASK ..... THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER GOTTEN IN MY INBOX IN MY 10+ YEARS ON TUMBLR 😭 i am not joking seeing this after i woke up just catapulted my whole mood up into the damn stratosphere.

i can't even say anything you haven't said yet bc this is exactly how i feel about this song ..... it is legit one of the most well-produced songs i've ever heard across the board of any genre. the back vocals (thank you, woozi), the production (thank you, woozi and bumzu), the beat drop before the chorus (majestic), the VOCALS (thank you hoshi who showed so much growth in his craft to deliver this masterpiece) down to the falsetto and down to the way his voice is layered with his lower register. i love his mid-range so much, and he has such a strong chest voice, and i just get chills during the pre-choruses every time. his voice is magic like that.

this was the first song of any svt member / svt i ever heard and i can't even tell you what happened. i listened to it bc several people told me to check it out ... and three hours later i still had it on loop. i had it on loop for days. i still do. i listen to it every day. it absolutely steamrolled over me and changed my year lmao. it's the sole reason i became an svt fan ... that is the power of this song! i love this song so much. i love that the song sounds exactly like its lyrics to me, it's so entrancing and so intricate with its details just sonically and just enhances the text. but i can absolutely recommend you to watch the mv, studio choom (in a mesh shirt and cropped suit) and the live stage hoshi performed, because the choreography! hoshi is naturally a dancer and choreographer and it shows! it made me fall in love with this song and him and svt with no return in sight. in other news the moment the beat drops before the last chorus i legit hold my breath bc it's SO satisfying, musically and visually.

and i so agree with how you described the song? like the flickering happens for me too across the song! for me, it's a sleek silver and a cool burgundy (it has been since the first listen)! like this song gives me such a strong emotional reaction and yet it always felt very cool to me in what i see. the bridge is neon white and then drops back into dark burgundy with silver running through to the end. it’s contained in these colours.

"it isn’t everyday that someone releases music that’s fresh and original and unexpected and this song is EXACTLY that." the way you hit the nail on the head. let's end this ask here before i never stop bc you already said it best. <3

[rktshx-blog]

Event: MGA4 Audition Part: Interview Trigger Warning: Mentions of Gangs related topics and dysfunctional family. 

Minho was not the typical flower boy nor did he have the best vocals. He can definitely hold a tone that’s for sure, but above an 89 score on a karaoke doesn’t really count. What he lacked in those areas he made up in other forms of musical techniques, adoptable dancing styles, proficient in rapping, both improvised and otherwise. He also knew how to play several instruments, in which throughout the years, Minho had managed to learn how to play a song by simply listening to it once. Without the need for musical notes. Regardless, looking at the other hopefuls within the hallway and waiting room, he was pretty sure they were just as experienced if not more then him. However the fact didn’t discourage the young lad, it amused him to no end. With the hype of the Kpop industry becoming more global, being an idol is something that isn’t only on high demand, but in economical theory, there is an influx of supply for it as well. It’s just a matter of having the right edge or fit and be scouted by the right company.

He sighs putting on his headphones, before blasting out one of his favourite artist’s songs. Eminem had become such a big influence in his generation especially in the western world, the east caught on soon enough. Minho was immediately calmed and transported back to the time when he was jamming with some of his friends back in London. Skipping school, while getting in trouble, thinking they were so cool as they memorised and spit out verses of the American rapper’s song. In fact, when ‘8 Miles’ came out in the theatres, he was pretty sure they skipped school (for the first time did something more ‘normal’) and saw the film. The elite streets of Chelsea had no mischief makers within those hours. Biting down on his lower lip, he desperately tried to keep a grin from escaping. Dear Lord, him and his gang of private schoolers were so lame. To think they all range from ages 10 to 15, him being the youngest. But those said students, had become a family to him more than his own, and the dancer wouldn’t replace those fond memories for the world. Especially when they became his obvious escape during his parent's divorce around that time; moving to Japan absolutely broke him then.

Minho glanced up from looking down at the floor, just in time to see a staff member and another musician walked out of the private room. Slipping his right earpiece off, he heard his name being called out. Taking a deep breath, he pushes himself off the wall and made his way through the crowd and into the room. The interview room was rather impressive, there was a whole set companied by the camera crew, aside from the people and the equipment itself looked plain and somewhat cold. Everything looked clinical. The nerves he hadn’t felt earlier that day, hit him like a tidal wave, abruptly halting him for a second as he enters the room. Though he flatters for a moment, he regains his composure and ventures off into his designated seat; right in front of the camera.

Maintaining control of the confrontational situation, Minho stays calm and collected, just like those times when he was forced to attend formal family gatherings as a child and later on in his adult life. He offers the interviewer a small grin, the other vaguely returning it as he confirms Minho’s identity before preparing the questions he’ll fire at the rapper. The brief interaction and small wait, allowed Minho to looked through the faces within the enclosed space; everyone looked tired already. The auditions had started a couple of hours ago, and it’s only fair that the employees of MGA looked like they want nothing more but to get up out off their places and move on with their lives. In other words, or rather a common urban term; they just looked so done with it. Too caught up with his own thoughts, he almost misses his signal to start. He clears his throat just as his about to.

| Let’s start with something simply shall we, tell us what inspired you to become an idol?

“Well, initially my inspiration to pursue a  ‘musical’ career path was because for a while now, it seemed like music was the only thing I was good at…” His gaze naturally shifted from the camera to the interviewer, after all, it was the two of them having the conversation. He treated the blinking gadget as though it was just a quiet observer eavesdropping on a rather intimate conversation. “I suppose it was my mother’s own love for music that got me hooked on note sheets and beats even at such a young age. But then eventually, it donned to me ” Minho smirks playfully, eyes flickering towards the camera, “The reason why I’m so dedicated to music and eventually dancing, was because music is one of the only few things I can throw my whole self into. Aside from science, of course, but that’s some other life story altogether.  A couple of years back… when I was still in Japan, I used to volunteer and taught dance classes in a public school. In all honesty, it was then that I realise that a musical or dance career path maybe one of the few ways I can be useful to society…” He shrugs casually, being truthful to his word. “So thought, if I can do it in a small way, surely I could try it on a bigger scale.”

| I see… This might be a rather personal question, but just out of curiosity, what does your sister - Choi Soyeon - think of you auditioning today? Does she have any advice on the matter? Since I know she had been involved with some nasty scandals before and eventually chose to part ways from the limelight.

He couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. Running a hand through his styled hair, and effectively destroying the stylist effort of keeping it tamed. “Honestly, I reckon she would think I’m absolutely crazy for doing this.” A shameless, daring glint making an appearance in his dark orbs. “Knowing her history within the industry, and all that. But then again, I don’t think she would be surprised that I’m doing this at all.” His love and respect for Soyeon have no bounds. His twin will always be Minho’s first priority in life. “She’ll respect my choices, and if anything would probably just tell me to keep being myself and not change… too much.” A brow provocatively raised at the interview, almost egging him on to ask for a deeper scope.

| That’s quite intriguing…. finally, now you’ve mentioned in your form that you’ve done a couple of gigs, do you want to tell us about said performances?

“Yeah, sure…” He comfortably shrugs, nodding and somewhat more relaxed than the question has moved from the topic of his twin. “I’ve actually been a part of a crew back in Japan, we used to do flip-top battles, where we meet up in a place and go against other crews for on the spot rapping… I think you often refer to it as diss battles here. The underground scene back in Kyoto is a bit smaller then it is in Seoul but probably about the same size in Tokyo, so they probably have the same sort of competitive scene here too. Although it’s not entirely a gig per say, it is quite a show. Now oddly enough I found myself with a crew that was equally talented in dancing as they were in rapping, which meant we would actually join national dance competitions. We would only get so far as regionals, but unfortunately, we got a few bad reps and weren’t really judged by our skills.” Minho has been nothing but honest in this interview, and though he might sound bias during his last statement, everyone knows the truth. Being apart of a gang, especially the local yakuza, can stain ones’ budding reputation. “When I moved here about two years ago, I joined another dance crew and practically repeated history all over again. Not to mention, I volunteer as a choreographer at the local recreational centre in Gangnum-gu, not sure you can count that as a performance per say but you know.” He shrugs bashfully, completely unaware if they got the answers that were expected of him or if he just made a fool out of himself.

The blinking red turns off, and the interviewer shakes his hand, motioning for him to follow another staff for the next process of the day. Nodding he thanked the man and staff before leaving the room. Just like earlier, another hopeful was called in, although this time around Minho didn’t pay attention to the remaining of his surroundings or the occurring around him. He was glad and relieved that the interview had ended if anything that turned out to be the most draining part of the day. He knew there might be times where he sounded a bit arrogant or too cheeky, but Minho stuck to the person that he is, and not someone putting a show on in front of the camera purely because it might have been required. The following small break is genuinely definitely appreciated at the moment.

[tweetie-voice]

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Vocal development in babies, infants and toddlers

Opera singer and vocal coach Mary Cole explains vocal development in young children and shows us how we can help inspire our children's vocal confidence from an early age.

Table of contents

Introduction

Vocal development in newborns

Vocal development in infants

Vocal development in toddlers

Final word

Introduction

It was a warm evening in late March when I had my first proud mother moment. It happened as I arrived through my front door with Mister Firstborn after his birth just a day or so earlier. He was kindly letting me know, in his most endearing newborn way, that he was Not Happy.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I cried as the door crashed closed, that little scream piercing my ears and melting my heart.

Yes, it was indeed my first proud mother moment.  My son had inherited my voice.

What is it about your child’s voice that will stop you in your tracks every single time, causing you to drop your coffee, your shopping, and your reason? How on earth does that little person make such a big sound?

In my work as an opera singer, vocal coach and university lecturer, this is a fascinating question for me. As singers working with no amplification, making big, beautiful, rich and resonant sounds is on our minds most of the time. I spent twenty years learning to recreate an extremely refined, adult version of my baby’s voice to spend some fabulous years touring the world singing.

I realised in that moment, that my husband and I had done it: we had produced a little Pavarotti. The good news is, so can you!

Physical development of the voice in newborn babies

A person’s vocal tract consists predominately of larynx (voice box), vocal folds (vocal cords), trachea (wind pipe), lungs, pharynx, mouth, tongue and epiglottis, and, to a minor extent, nasal passages.  The vocal folds are two flaps of soft tissue housed within the larynx.

Your voice is produced when the vocal folds are powered by air from the lungs to vibrate, thus producing sound waves.  This sound is then shaped by the pharynx, tongue, mouth, teeth and lips to create speech and singing.

Your baby’s vocal physiology is fundamentally different in structure and function to that of a child or adult, set up mainly to ensure their survival. It has two functions: to cry for help and to drink in the most efficient way possible.

Babies therefore have much smaller lungs to make more space in the digestive system for milk. While an adult’s larynx is located about halfway down the neck, a baby’s is located right behind their jaw and is much less mobile. The epiglottis overlaps with the soft palate and the vocal folds themselves are much softer and more pliable.

This different physiology offers a newborn several benefits. Firstly, it virtually eliminates choking when nursing, allowing them to breathe and swallow at the same time. They are also able to fill their mouths completely before swallowing, which means more milk in less time- a huge advantage for the initial growth period.

This physical setup also produces and enhances high frequencies in the vocal sound.  Amazingly, the average baby only cries at about 90 decibels: as loud as a blender or hairdryer.  However, the high frequency amplification is what gives the cry its “cut”, allowing them to be heard clearly.

The vocal apparatus while crying is also surprisingly free of excessive muscular tension.  This, coupled with the softer tissue, is how your little one can cry for hours without losing their voice.

What your baby is practicing vocally

From the moment of birth, your baby vocalises. Newborn cries contain all the elements of successful speech and singing: emotion, pitch and rhythm, loud and soft.

When not crying, your baby may practice cooing: happy vowel-like sounds lasting up to three seconds in duration.

Encouraging your baby’s voice

Here are some simple tips for inspiring your baby's first experiences with voice:

In utero. Talk and sing to your baby often in the last three months of pregnancy.  Amazingly, babies have been found to move instinctively, subtly and intricately to the rhythm patterns of mother’s speech.  Talking and singing frequently, playfully and lovingly to a baby in utero can increase his memory for both language and pitch.

Motherese. Research has shown that newborn babies prefer to listen to human voices to non-human voices, and prefer to listen to their mother’s voice and her native language to other voices or languages. Motherese contains all the elements of a song: higher pitch range, extended vowels and greater pitch variation.  This imitative, instinctive behaviour between baby and adult will naturally develop speech and singing as part of the child’s environment.

What is motherese?

Does your voice change when you talk to a baby? Do you speak more slowly, more clearly and use simplified language? Do you use baby words and exaggerated facial expressions? This is motherese. You are making it easier for your child to understand you. By removing unnecessary words you draw your child's attention to those that are most important. Vroom, vroom! Nee-naw! Look! Fire engine. Red fire engine? Can you see it? Off it goes! Bye-bye fire engine! Mummy likes fire engine. Noisy!

Sing to your children often. Most importantly, sing traditional music specifically written for children from their culture: nursery rhymes and lullabies. Their little ears are naturally tuned to those beautiful, complete melodies.

You can also add a movement aspect while singing: rocking to calm songs and jiggling along to boisterous ones.  Babies learn to associate music with both calming and stimulating messages.  Singing brings a feelings-expressive dimension to communication which speaking alone often cannot provide.

Physical development of the voice in infants

During infancy, the vocal structure begins to develop into a miniature version of the adult’s.  While a newborn’s vocal tract is primed for survival, the child’s and adult’s is set up for speaking and running.

The infant’s larynx grows and descends lower down the trachea and the lungs grow comparatively larger to the digestive system.  This gives them much more range and flexibility in the sounds they are able to make, though the adult setup won’t be complete until the age of eight or nine.

What your infant is practicing vocally

Speech to the infant is observed and copied rather than taught. Having been immersed in a speech environment from birth, they are able to observe the benefits of using speech in their world.  Thus speech’s development is mainly driven by the frustration an infant feels in being unable to communicate.

At around six months, an infant will begin babbling simple consonant/vowel combinations. Amazingly, these speech fragments are always syllables and phonemes of the mother tongue: Italian babies will babble in Italian sounds, and Korean babies will babble in Korean sounds.

Infants' hearing and perception of music is also extremely sophisticated. By the age of six to ten months they are able to recognise familiar tunes and changes to them, even though they may be played in unfamiliar keys. They will also recognise songs heard in utero, though it may be months between hearings. They are also able to recognise simple rhythms and metres: for example a march versus a sway (duple and triple.)

Encouraging your infant’s voice

Some ideas for creating fun and positive vocal experiences with your infant:

Build a positive, child-centred learning environment. Try not to delegate the important task of learning to speak to a non-human voice such as a screen or recorded music, as it’s not as effective as face-to-face interaction. Positively praise your child when he vocalises.  Particularly as speech is emerging, if mistakes are made, don’t criticise, rather offer the correct word or phrase at a later date.

Speak to your infant often, in person, about things familiar and close to them.

Explore language together. Enjoy creating funny expressions and nonsense phrases for just the two of you. This is a popular device used particularly in children’s books and entertainment. Enjoy playing with sounds and words as you speak about what you do. 'Sizzling sausages on the stove. Sizzle Sizzle SPLAT.

Physical development of the voice in toddlerhood

Toddler vocal development is a continuation of what has begun in infancy. As a toddler’s body size increases, so does, obviously the laryngeal size. Interestingly, up to this age, the tongue has been housed entirely within the mouth to enable nursing and breathing simultaneously. The back third of the tongue now descends into the pharynx, as well as a slight hardening of the vocal folds as the deeper muscle forms. This enables much more variety in speech resonation and articulation.

By age five, the basic adult configuration of the vocal tract is present, and will reach full size after puberty.

What your toddler is practicing vocally

While a yell is still able to make a statement, a toddler comes to realise around the age of three or four, that speech is necessary for survival: needs are met faster if they’re articulated.

A toddler’s first meaningful word usually appears at around one year of age, with three to ten single words hopefully available by the age of eighteen months.

At around age two, your child may use around fifty words, gradually forming into complete sentences. By three years, we may see the emergence of conversation, and vocabulary may exceed one thousand words!

During toddlerhood, music and singing becomes a part of play. Voiced sounds can accompany play with toys; chanting and songs become part of organised games with others.

Encouraging your toddler’s voice

Some ideas for helping your toddler find their voice

Practice patience in conversation. Allow your child to explore speech at toddler pace, not adult. As they become more conversational, the brain is working hard forming the neural pathways required for communication. They must firstly comprehend what you’ve said and form a reply in their own mind. Then they must physically speak by co-ordinating breath pressure, vocal apparatus and articulators.  This takes time.

Try not to interrupt, walk away or finish their sentences. Maintain eye contact, listen and enjoy.

Encourage your child to use the voice creatively as they play. It could be singing to toys, creating vocal effects for vehicles and superheroes, animals and outer space. These nonsense noises are used a lot in formal training to build and strengthen a young voice, as well as to explore musical elements such as pitch, timbre and rhythm.

Singing stories. Sing the words to a favourite book rather than speaking them. Invent a simple two or three note melody. To start off, try the opening notes of the nursery rhyme It’s Raining It’s Pouring. You will notice that tune is also a familiar one in many children’s chants: 'I’m the king of the castle and you’re a dirty rascal! Nyah Nyah!!' In early music education, it’s the first interval we teach children to sing in tune, as it is so easily accessible.

Nursery rhymes and children’s songs. Nursery rhymes are full of expression and poetic devices just asking to be explored: rhyme, rhythm, stanza, refrain, alliteration, imagery and many others. Enjoy reading them aloud with plenty of gusto and fanfare, creating the voices and sound effects.

Move along to the rhythm of the words. Songs with actions have greater impact and memorability. Vocalise for fun, as well as for education.

A word of advice: if you want your child to speak (or sing) along with you easily, speak a little higher than you usually would. Their tiny vocal folds are only as large as their little fingernail. It is impossible for this little instrument to pitch too low!

Final word

My young screaming newborn is now Mister Two. It has been such a joy to watch him grow and piece together fragments of sentences, to sing mum’s songs to his toys sometimes weeks later, and imitate his dad’s heavy machinery sounds! As for that initial cry? Poor dear- he was hot!

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 27/02/2021 (Ariana Grande, Digga D, Ella Henderson & Tom Grennan)

I like how on the UK Singles Chart, even if it’s kind of a slow week, we still have nine new arrivals to get through. Joy, let’s just start with the rundown. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

As you’d expect, a lot of the debuts from last week were pretty flimsy on the UK Top 75, the range I cover on the singles chart, and hence a lot of it’s gone, including all of the slowthai songs, even “CANCELLED” with Skepta which reached the top 40. Another big top 40 debut that’s disappeared is, again as you’d expect, “UK Hun?” by the United Kingdolls. We do have three pretty big drop-outs though: “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix, ”Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and the Digital Farm Animals and finally, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio. It seems that finally we’re making some room for the Spring hits to come tunnelling in by next month. That also shows in our notable fallers, as we have “Levitating” by Dua Lipa and remixed by DaBaby at #37, “Whoopty” by CJ at #39, Taylor Swift’s re-recorded “Love Story” plummeting off of the debut to #41, Fredo’s album bomb continuing to linger as “Ready” with Summer Walker and “Burner on Deck” with the late Pop Smoke and Young Adz are down to #44 and #64 respectively, “you broke me first” by Tate McRae at #47, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #50, “Siberia” by Headie One featuring Burna Boy off of the debut to #58, “willow” by Taylor Swift at #59 (Not a good week for Taylor), “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran at #69 (The bigger question should be why it’s here at all), “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper at #71 and “Apricots” by Bicep at #73. For our gains, well, it’s pretty weird trying to find our replacements for all of this, as we have “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers back to #68 as it takes advantage of a slower week, “Roses” by SAINt JHN and remixed by Imanbek having a weird second wind at #60 – and the same goes with “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles gaining big for some reason up to #46. Otherwise, we do have some genuine rising hits in the top half of the chart, like “Mixed Emotions” by Abra Cadabra at #45 off of the debut, “Regardless” by RAYE and Rudimental at #43, “Astronaut in the Ocean” by Masked Wolf at #35 (Because I guess since Logic’s retired, people are looking to Australia for a half-baked replacement), “Believe Me” by Navos at #33, “Little Bit of Love” by Tom Grennan at #32... Okay, if we’re going to give rising artists their first top 40 hit, why is it these guys and not Kali Uchis? Though I have a feeling we’ll talk about her next week. Anyway, our other notable gains are “Love Not War (The Tampa Beat)” by Jason Derulo and Nuka at #31, “Arcade” by Duncan Laurence and FLETCHER at #29, “My Head & My Heart” by Ava Max at #25, funnily right next to Joel Corry’s “Head & Heart”, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee at #18, “Up” by Cardi B at #17, “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S at #15 and “Latest Trends” by A1 x J1 at #12, with no real movement in the top 10. With all that out of the way, let’s stay cautiously optimistic for our new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “All You Ever Wanted” – Rag’n’Bone Man

Produced by Mike Elizondo and Ben Jackson-Cook

You probably know Rag’n’Bone Man for “Human”, one of the biggest hits in the UK of the 2010s that never really crossed over stateside. I was never a fan of the guy’s music in its over-produced blues-pop crawl, so I didn’t really expect his next album to do anything for me... but I feel like it does matter to a lot of people. His first album was big – and not just moderately – with several hit singles, and he would later hop on Calvin Harris’ “Giant” to more success. With that said, I don’t know why this lead single from his upcoming sophomore effort Life by Misadventure took a month to get to the lower reaches of the chart, even with a video. Has his hype fizzled out? Is there something more behind this or do people genuinely not care enough to check out the guy’s music past his debut record that had a bigger push? I don’t know but I do know that I actually quite like this... I mean, a lot. Finally, Rag’n’Bone Man found some faster-paced production that works very well with his signature baritone voice, as this almost post-punk-esque groove may be stiff but it chugs along nicely, especially with the layered guitar loops and those inspired distorted synth bloops, with some real dynamic mixing. What I feel is missing from this is stakes, at least in the content – it seems more observatory than telling any real narrative or drama that warrants such a rocketing song, especially that screeching guitar solo. I don’t think that really matters, though, as the subject matter is interesting enough in how he discusses places he’d spent his childhood in like Brighton and London and how they’ve changed since, with a pretty understandable level of both nostalgia and anger levelled at whoever made those changes... knowing he supports Corbyn, there could be some political undertones here, but I digress. The song caught me by surprise, I hope it sticks around further than a couple weeks.

#70 – “Lifestyle” – Jason Derulo featuring Adam Levine

Produced by Rice N’ Peas

So, Jason Derulo struck gold with the TikTok fame and his return to the #1 spot as he stole some Pacific Islander’s beat on “Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)” with Jawsh 685, and in 2020, everything seemed to go right for Derulo at a good time, even netting a BTS remix in the process. Now ever since then he’s been alternating between original tracks and more “borrowed” Pacific Islander beats, and this is one of those original tracks, which sounds nothing like the siren or Tampa beats so I’m pretty sure we know what the aim really is for those tracks. Whilst he’s had some success in the European markets, he hasn’t had much in the US so a catchy pop single with Adam Levine, detached of the Maroon 5 brand as that continues to fade away post-“Memories”, seems like an apt but desperate attempt at latching onto said market. God damn it, I’m embarrassed to say that it worked because this should not be a good song. It’s got a pretty funky synth riff and bassline that makes this otherwise pretty embarrassing track a lot more listenable, as Derulo’s delivery is pretty insufferable (but still pretty sonically appealing; the guy sounds great with a lot of Auto-Tune). There’s a lot of nonsense lyrics, both literally in the post-chorus and more ridiculously in the first verse, full of lyrics about how an unnamed woman is “shining bright just like Rihanna-na”, one lyric out of the whole song that is generally pretty weak lyrically, as you’d expect. The chorus is really damn catchy though, and propelled by horn lines and pianos that sound pretty triumphant, even if the clipping falsettos sound like garbage, and Derulo’s  ad-libs in Levine’s verse are just hilarious. Honestly, Levine sounds better with this hook than Derulo does, mostly because Levine is aptly and actively not trying, which is much more fitting for a messy dance-pop track. With just two verse-chorus structures, as well as two post-choruses, this is basic and practically unfinished; there isn’t a bridge. With that said, I can’t hate this at all, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the fact that Levine’s reverb-drowned “Lifestyle!” backing vocals are cut off in the mix during the chorus... that did genuinely get a laugh out of me, don’t ask why.

#65 – “HEAT” – Paul Woodford and Amber Mark

Produced by Paul Woodford

From just a glimpse of her work, Amber Mark seems a lot more unique and soulful than most of the replaceable dance-pop singers, but for the purposes of this song and hence this show, that’s all she is, and Paul Woodford is just the boring DJ. This is a dance-pop song with 90s MIDI-sounding pianos, odd vocal processing, generic string patches, a house groove accentuated by a lot of fake hand-claps and a weak, barely-there drop. The time house-pop does something interesting for the first time in years in the mainstream beyond this garbage that’s been living in German night clubs in the 90s for decades after the fact, is the day I am a much happier woman. Skip this.

#61 – “Didn’t Know” – Tom Zanetti

Produced by Sjay

If you want proof of how slow a week this is, there aren’t even lyrics for this on Genius. Anyway, I don’t know or care who Tom Zanetti or Sjay are because guess what this is? Another house-pop track. To be fair, this one has more of a bass-heavy deep house groove and bassline, and a pretty cringeworthy rap verse from who I assume is Tom Zanetti, going for what seems like a Chicago house vibe but missing any of the soul or big diva samples, relying instead on a checked-out delivery from someone no-one knows the name of. Really, what do you expect me to say about this? It’s a sex jam, but it’s so basic and minimal that those keys in the chorus end up sounding as eerie as they do seductive, and overall, there’s genuinely nothing to grab from this other than that Tom Zanetti shouldn’t be rapping... whoever that even is. I did look up the guy and it makes perfect sense that this guy was making bassline music decades after that was big, because this screams “failed attempt” to me, and hopefully if the British public have any sense, it’ll be a failed attempt on the charts. We’ll have to wait and see on that front, I guess.

#57 – “Time” – JLS

Produced by Oswald Hamilton (or Biggz the Engineer)

So, legendary(?) boy band JLS are probably one of the bigger names from the craze of R&B and pop bands and vocalists that got big from The X Factor but JLS had actual staying  power for at least a little while, mostly because, well, there was always a place for them in the late 2000s and early 2010s, where it wasn’t uncommon to see these dance-pop tracks flooding the chart. They weren’t that great, obviously, but they didn’t need to be as what mattered to the audience and label was that the four boys kept their charm and style by the time they released a new record every November and that a couple singles off of it went to the top 10. That comment about longevity must not have lasted, however, as whilst most members were able to find some kind of success solo, usually in broadcasting like Marvin Humes, people weren’t really demanding a comeback, I suppose, as whilst this is their first charting song since their 2013 farewell “Billion Lights”, this new reunion track hasn’t made much noise at all and is probably here off of sales. I mean, the lyrics aren’t even on Genius yet... oh, wait, it’s some other guy that happens to be called JLS. Huh. Well, that makes sense, but, like, you’d want to change your name if it was that closely related to a big name, especially if you weren’t a family-friendly boy band and were instead a pretty awful rapper relying on a weak UK drill beat with absolutely no energy at all. Okay, so this sounds like several rappers here, so I assume it’s a rap group or collective. Either way, not many of these people have much charisma to talk about, like at all, and this beat can’t carry them on that lone piano melody alone, even if it is kind of menacing. The song feels twice its length, and something screams industry-made to me. I don’t know, maybe it’s because it’s a debut single, but they’re not signed to any major label so that’s just speculation. With some research, I found that it’s by two guys called Switch and J9 and a lot of fans were confused why it was uploaded under JLS, when the original song, on YouTube, isn’t even called “Time”. It’s called “Look”. I can only see this as kind of a scummy marketing ploy by a label, as I don’t think an independent distributor would be willing to change the name, artwork and artist name to believably look like JLS. I don’t know about any of this but really the song isn’t bad or really worth caring about, just a game of finding the impostor. To be honest, I’d love for JLS’ actual comeback single to be a drill banger in response, but again, we’ll have to wait and see. For now... who even gets the royalties for this?

#56 – “CLOUDS” – NF

Produced by Tommee Profitt and NF

You know what’s decidedly less fun than UK drill rappers masquerading as late 2000s boy bands? Christian rap. To be fair to NF, he’s less outwardly Christian as he is just family-friendly pop-rap with a lot of technical skill and that’s fine, although it does mean his fanbase consists pretty much exclusively white kids who think they listen to “real rap with a message” and dismiss anyone with a darker skin tone as mumble-rap. Though I don’t think NF purposefully lets into that demographic, at least from the little I’ve heard, I don’t doubt that he knows that’s his base as he continues on this lead single from his upcoming mixtape CLOUDS to criticise rappers who “go Hollywood” whilst also acknowledging how violent some of his lyrics may seem, which kind of seems like an odd thing to say in this context. I mean, NF here is only being clean rather than Christian, but not in a Lecrae way where he’s genuinely a versatile and soulful rapper outside of the religious stuff that tends to work its way into a lot of his work. Instead, NF just kind of meanders over a condescendingly bad piano-based trap beat, with pretty pathetic flows that really undermine how much technical skill this guy supposedly has. I mean, if he’s going to imitate Eminem with even more filler bars and unfunny mid-verse skits. To be fair, I can’t complain about the dude’s energy, and the beat does get better as it gathers a lot more energy in its choral grandiosity, but I feel like this one starting verse just lasts for days because of how little is actually said in three minutes, and that second verse is shorter but says even little. That’s before getting into some of these lyrics as it really is just nonsense half of the time. He claims to be “not artistic” – I don’t know why Nate meant by that but it just comes off as how it is on paper: hilarious – and also flooding the first verse with a series of ridiculous metaphors you’d be hard-pressed to wrap your head around, including questionable name-drops for... Bill Gates, of all people. I do find it ironic how despite his fanbase wanting to make you think you’re not smart enough to get NF’s really “clever” bars, the Genius annotations for one of the few kind of cool lines here show that it completely goes over their heads. NF says, “Got something in my cup, ain’t codeine”, which you can stretch – pretty reasonably – to be a Biblical reference. The song’s about fame and success, so referencing “my cup runneth over” makes a lot of sense. The annotations says that it’s unclear what’s in NF’s cup, and a comment corrects him, saying that it shows in the music video that Nate’s cup has water in it. Nice one, guys. At least Eminem murders women and Hopsin’s a racist piece of trash, what does this guy have?

#38 – “test drive” – Ariana Grande

Produced by Foster, Mr. Franks, TBHits and Murda Beatz

Ariana Grande released the few bonus deluxe tracks from her Positions album last week, and of course, at least one charted – not many others could as you can’t have more than three hits at a time on the UK Singles Chart. I know, it’s silly. Honestly, I think the deluxe tracks were in most cases better than the standard edition, and I think if we cut out the annoyingly large amount of filler in that total package, we could have a pretty damn great record from Ari, but as is, it’s really just fine and suffering from all of the issues her past few years of music have. With that said, “test drive” might be my favourite ever song of hers, with its gorgeous 90s R&B keys that lead us in to a bouncy house beat from Murda Beatz of all people (in a similar vein to “motive” from the standard edition but with actual sound design). There isn’t that much of a bass in the groove here, but it makes up for that with its twinkling synths and Ari’s delivery which sounds convincing and infectious through the whole track, which may be short at just barely more than two minutes but does not waste that time with its incredible chorus and whilst I would have preferred some more complexity or meat to this production, particularly the percussion, this dreamy blend of 90s pop styles is really fun as is, especially in that final chorus with those subtle strings and bleep-bloops coming in, to the point where you don’t really care how abruptly it ends... which actually might be a pretty fitting end for a track about a youthful, very sexually active relationship. Yeah, this is pretty great – check it out.

#36 – “Toxic” – Digga D

Produced by Trinz

Speaking of bonus tracks, here’s a bonus track from Digga D’s most recent mixtape, Made in the Pyrex, and any goodwill I had for this guy is gone because this song is deplorable. You can say it’s satirical all you want – and to an extent it probably is – but I really can’t sit here and listen to a rich guy talk about how awfully he treats women for three minutes. Basically, the song is about influencers that want to “suck his bone”, and honestly that would be fine if he kept it about the sex, rather than how much he seemingly hates these women, calling them good for nothing sex objects with the subtlety of a dusty red brick. Misogyny is common in rap music and popular music as a whole, and it’s forgivable because, really, objectification is so commonplace that there’s no point in fighting it off, and really there’s nothing wrong in a rapper saying “my girlfriend is attractive” because... well, yeah, she probably is. There’s also nothing wrong with a rapper describing or depicting sex, because sex happens, and there’s also nothing wrong with rappers describing their conflicts with women because, again, they happen, and music is never supposed to represent a perfect life or perfect human. You can express your flaws and irrational emotions, even if they are “toxic”, in your music because it’s a form of human expression that knows few bounds, and as long as there’s some kind of tact or thematic approach, I really do not mind and will often try and justify it. However, when you’ve got a guy with no charisma or personality describing how he uses his fame on Twitter to his advantage for cheap sex, what really is the point in listening to this guy? Do you enjoy hearing about how he constantly condescends and insults the women providing him with cheap sexual desires? Sure, they never sent you letters while you were in jail, but they were never supposed to. These are Instagram models and social media influencers you use to get your rocks off by sliding in DMs, not long-time relationships, and you know that, so why are you complaining when your emotional desires are not met beyond intercourse... especially when you clearly don’t care about hers? I guess Digga D is being “toxic” on purpose as the title and chorus ensues, but this is too overly-specific and based in what seem to be real-life situations for me to stick with this and justify any of it, especially him referencing the models’ substance abuse, how he refuses to drink fancy wine she bought her instead of his cheap Magnum tonic wine – a sexual stimulant from Jamaica. All that would be fine if it weren’t for how he takes this back to real life by mentioning his ex-girlfriend, breaking all illusions of satire and fantasy. In the second verse, he continues to slut-shame and condemn women for... travelling abroad? Profiting from OnlyFans? Wearing Rolexes? If you want to talk about how many designer accessories you wear, how many places you’ve been, how many women you’ve had sex with and how many women you use for your own benefit and no one else’s, as you do in all of your songs, then where’s your excuse for criticising women for doing the same thing? Oh, right, there is none! I heard a few weeks ago and talked about on this show how the government has to see Digga D’s lyrics and censor them in the case that they’re too violent. It’s pretty telling how this misogynist piece of shit slipped through those cracks, huh?

#28 – “Let’s Go Home Together” – Ella Henderson and Tom Grennan

Produced by TMS

Okay, so this is our highest debut this week, and it’s from singer Ella Henderson, who you probably know from “Ghost”. She was another X Factor singer and this song actually dates back to 2016, where it was leaked online as a duet with James Arthur. More than four years later, it sees an official release with the slightly-less-trendy Arthur replaced with Tom Grennan, similarly non-present pop singer. I’m surprised the label’s even letting her release this pretty generic pop ballad with an acoustic pick-up and lyrics about going home together while drunk, as well as trap-esque percussion because of course. I mean, her second album has been shelved for half a decade, and Tom Grennan himself has kind of been in limbo until recently, and it’s not like he’s doing anything interesting or different here with his insufferable mumbling delivery. There’s an unfunny bait-and-switch in his verse at some point that I think even James Arthur would have pulled off better, and Grennan’s last line in the bridge is genuinely just one of the worst moments in music this year, Jesus Christ – you’ve just got to listen to that part, I guess. The song’s really not worth speaking more about and I want to wrap this up.

Conclusion

A slower, less chaotic week yet still a mixed bag and mostly bad. I’ll give Best of the Week for Rag’n’Bone Man for “All You Ever Wanted”, with a really close Honourable Mention for Ariana Grande’s “test drive”. Worst of the Week should be pretty damn obvious given that Digga D’s “Toxic” even exists, but Dishonourable Mention really is a toss-up. I guess Tom Zanetti’s “Didn’t Know” might be the most embarrassing song here... apart from “Lifestyle” of course but that song really is just okay. For next week... who cares? Here’s this week’s top 10:

Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank if you’re interested – really, I just talk about Weezer more often than I should – and I’ll see you next week.

[thesinglesjukebox]

BTS - FAKE LOVE

[6.25]

Everyone's favorite #1 worldwide Korean group...

Joshua Minsoo Kim: This past August, I eagerly assumed my role as the new sponsor for our high school's Asian Pop Culture club. The name, as I had been informed, wasn't entirely accurate: the group of students who met were primarily there because of a shared interest in K-pop. At the first meeting, I witnessed an ethnically diverse group of teenagers proficiently dancing to one of those "K-pop Dance Game" videos on YouTube. I was immensely moved; I had seen it many times before online, but to see it in person felt like a strong affirmation of my Korean-American identity, especially since I never felt much of that throughout my own teenage years. Several months later, I had an interesting conversation with one of my students about BTS. She had informed me that her younger sister was obsessed, but this proved concerning because her sibling had declared on more than one occasion that she "hated being Vietnamese" and "wished she were Korean." It immediately brought to mind Thai singer Phi Sadoet's "Sao Kaoli," a contemporary luk thung song that finds a boy lamenting how his girlfriend's interest in K-pop and Korean dramas had left him by the wayside. Considering luk thung played a crucial role in bridging the gap between urban and rural societies in Thailand, and historically featured lyrics about country folk being enamored by the city, "Sao Kaoli" posits a 21st century analogue: Thai people are losing pride in their heritage due to Korean cultural imperialism. During my conversation with the student, I realized how myopic I had been; in my celebration of K-pop's continued successes, I had forgotten that its impact on my self-worth wasn't necessarily transferrable to all other Asians. None of this is anyone's fault per se, but it's important to be mindful of how the hallyu can unintentionally arouse feelings of isolation amongst non-Korean Asians. Of course, one of the oft-cited reasons for BTS's international stardom has been their politically conscious lyrics and how it's consistently reflected in their extramusical affairs. And when I listen to "Fake Love," I hear the same poignant message of self-acceptance that's been touted throughout their career. They've affirmed many fans of who they are, but here, they're forcing them to wrestle with any persisting struggles with identity, duplicity, and self-love. The numerous tortured vocal deliveries and antiseptic, self-contained atmosphere provide a space to do just that. Each time I put on "Fake Love," I'm reminded of that conversation with my student. My only hope is that her younger sister--and ARMYs around the world--will use this song as a conduit through which they can love themselves just a little bit more, including their non-Korean cultural identities. [6]

Kat Stevens: My sister rang me up at the weekend to ask why we hadn't covered this song here at TSJ yet (for context: she also was furiously WhatsApping me during this year's Olympic closing ceremony, complaining that EXO were a poor substitute for BTS). I thought it only polite to give this a listen, and it's... inoffensive enough? A sanitised "Freek'N You", with a modern rattlesnake beat instead of a 90s drop-squelch. But I can't get over how miserable they all sound. Given recent events, it's hard to listen to this without feeling an unpleasant combo of guilt and concern. [4]

Jessica Doyle: "Look, Jungkook-ah," Bang Sihyuk said patiently, "we've already been over this. This song does everything we need it to do -- three hooks, for insurance's sake, plus time for Yoongi to give a vocal shrug, plus Taehyung in his lower register. Hell, we even got some chorus lines for Mr. Worldwide-Not-Known-for-His-Singing over there." (He paused while Seokjin took a mock bow and the other kids cheered.) "Meanwhile you guys get to sing about how alienated and isolated you feel when you're required to play your Bangtan-selves nonstop, constantly, for a global audience that demands cute, profound, sexy, politically aware, dramatic, creative, sentimental, glamorous, charismatic, and humble, at the same time all the time, even -- especially -- when you're not officially onstage. And it's perfect, because listeners will either classify 'Fake Love' as Tragically Passionate Bangtan à la 'Blood, Sweat, & Tears' or 'I Need U', or assume you're talking about all those other ARMYs. So you get to register the terror of the roller coaster with less risk of getting torn apart for daring to want the seat in the first place. Everybody gets what they want. Right? But in order for that to work, everybody must get what they want. So we're going to do this again, and this time you're going to lift the shirt. I don't care how angry or ambivalent you look while you're flashing the abs -- anger and ambivalence fit the concept just fine, honestly -- but the abs must be flashed." [7]

Anna Suiter: Fake Love feels almost neurotic at points. This is the most true in J-Hope's rap verse, which is delivered in a deliberately punctuated style that pushes the song forward in a way almost nothing else does. But it's a vocal part that sticks out the most--the English in Jungkook's part of the chorus. Even though I know it's supposed to be "love you so bad", it still sounds a bit like "lying's so bad" when I'm not listening too closely. I can't help but wonder if that choice in enunciation is intentional--the way "fake" is stretched out into two syllables in the chorus sometimes sounds like "sacred" to me. For a song that's about questioning some aspect of yourself in the face of a relationship, or about the things about love that you want to be true but aren't, maybe the English feeling a little bit ambiguous makes sense. At least it adds more texture, though it's not like Fake Love needed much more of that in the first place. [7]

Iain Mew: I still prefer my boyband angst explosively unleashed, but the whole beast in a velvet cage thing that the expansive sounds of "Fake Love" provide is a clever thematic fit for its awakening uncertainty. There's hurt with a mask of happiness and strength, a sorry that might or might not be genuine, and the lack of a single hard edge feels like the part of a dream that lets you realise it's a fake. [6]

Alex Clifton: I've listened to this song fifty times in the past two weeks. I can't remember the last time I did that with a new release. You'd think that by now I'd be sick of it, but I keep living in "Fake Love"; each time I hear it, it makes my body feel electric, like a jolt through my system. Part of why I love this song is because the emotions are anything but fake. The desperation in Jungkook's voice as he sings "love you so bad, love you so bad" is urgent, and Taehyung's follow-up line--"tried to erase myself and made me your doll"--aches with realness. For a song about falsehoods and lies and insecurity in identity, the production is solid: at this point, BTS are a band who know themselves, know their sound, and the confidence pays off. I don't know if this is actually a perfect song--for me, "Blood Sweat & Tears" is the ultimate BTS track--but everything about this hits all my pop buttons all at once and sends me straight to heaven. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta play this another fifty times. [10]

Thomas Inskeep: Just as BTS become truly global superstars, even hitting #1 on the U.S. album chart, they release a single that sounds oddly neutered -- and dull. Usually BTS records sound like events, but this is missing that urgency, that pneumatic thrust, and replaces it with an arrangement that sucks the energy out of the song. Here's hoping this is a rare misstep and not a sign of what's to come. [3]

Alfred Soto: If I'm going to endure a drop, let BTS do it, and if a track contains rote elements I'd rather BTS blast through them. The drillpress of a rhythm part remains tougher than the competition, though. If it's written in the stars that BTS will cross over, then "Fake Love" betrays no hints of dilution. [7]

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