#and now it’s gone and I want to explode
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One More Night
I felt inspired by @justalotoffanfiction who wrote a Bayverse Raph story based on Mr. Brightside, so I thought I'd try my hand writing something based on a different song, One More Night by Maroon 5.
TW: Angst, Abuse toward Raph, verbal and physical, swearing and mentions of sex.
*Aged up characters
*Bayverse Raph × Reader
*HEA ending guaranteed
Special thanks to @avery73 for beta-reading!
Even the strongest of us can fall victim to this type of treatment. Raphael was no exception.
SLAP!
The sound reverberated off of the paper-thin walls in the tiny apartment. She was hitting him again. She was always angry at him for some reason. Why the hell was he here again? Oh, yeah, because she wanted to fuck him. This was always the reason.
He got a little bit of satisfaction seeing her shake her hand after slapping him, though it did nothing to quell her seemingly burning hatred toward him. If anything, she looked more enraged that his skin was so tough.
“You ASSHOLE! You think you can come and go as you please?! I’ve been waiting for you for hours!” She was screaming at him because his patrol had gone longer than it normally would, and she did not like to be kept waiting.
He knew this, and he should care, but he didn't. This… ‘thing’ they’d had going on had been well-established for months, but any time something went awry or didn’t go according to plan, she exploded. It’s not like she could really hurt him… slapping, hitting, throwing things at him. It didn’t really matter. That’s what he tried to tell himself, to make excuses for her behaviour because, on the other hand, being with her had resulted in some of the hottest sex imaginable. That’s why he kept coming back. That’s why they both kept coming back.
It still made him angry though. Fucking bitch.
“FUCKING FINE! I’ll just fucking GO THEN.” He meant it and whirled around to leave.
“Don’t you take another step Raphael.” She snapped; her voice deadly low. “Get the hell over here.”
He should leave. He should shut this down right now and never come here again. They both knew that this wasn’t healthy, but he couldn’t stop coming.
And she knew it.
Moments later he’d spanned the length of the room and had her pressed tightly against the wall, kissing her ravenously, his hand fisted in her hair. She was just as desperate, hands clawing at him, trying to remove his clothes, and throwing his weapons to the ground. As hot as that was, he’d never liked how she had no respect for them or cared about how dangerous they were. All she had cared about was getting what she wanted.
In the aftermath, he laid in her bed staring at the ceiling hating himself. She was deeply asleep beside him blissfully unaware of his conflicting feelings. She’d apologize of course in her moments of clarity, even promise that next time she’d be nicer, gentler. She never kept that promise.
Quietly, as only a ninja could, he dressed, retrieved his weapons, tucking them safely into his belt and left. He felt like such an idiot. He needed to stop fucking doing this. He knew his brothers and their father were worried about him but he shut down anytime anyone tried to ask him about it. The only one who had any idea of what was going on was Casey.
“Dude, she sounds fucking awful, why do you keep going there?”
“Cuz she’s hot and the sex is amazing.”
“No pussy is worth this, man. She’s slapping the shit out of you every time you go.”
“’s fine, it doesn’t really hurt me any.”
“Maybe not physically, but it ain’t great for your head.”
“I’m fine.”
They’d left it at that; but as time went on, he was slowly coming to the realization Casey was right. This wasn’t good for him but he kept going back. He needed to stop; he needed a reason to cut ties with her for good.
You ended up being that reason.
You’d been best friends throughout your teens and had lost touch after the two of you had met your respective partners. Your relationship had ended disastrously with him cheating on you with a ‘friend’ of yours. Immediately, you cut ties and burned those bridges with both of them. Now single, your thoughts had turned back to Raph. You wondered how he was doing and hoped he was happy. You wished the two of you could reconnect and catch up, but you were afraid he’d forgotten all about you.
It's funny how life works sometimes. One Saturday night, you heard glass breaking in the apartment below you. You had just moved in and had groaned when you realized there was probably a loud argumentative couple living below you now. Hearing more noise and muffled yelling prompted you to go to your balcony to see what was going on. You figured you could call the police if it got really bad and you were just a tiny bit nosy.
Nothing could’ve prepared you for what you saw and heard.
“You’re fucking crazy! I’m done. WE’RE FUCKING DONE! I ain’t never coming back here!” It was Raph, it was unmistakably his voice. You’d know it anywhere.
Craning your neck over the side of your balcony you looked far as you could and saw him. The poor guy looked like a wreck. There was red liquid and bits of broken glass all down his front. From what you could see, it appeared to be remnants of a glass of wine. You could assume that it had been hurled at him along with the entire bottle it looked like.
“Don’t you fucking walk out on me, Raphael! GET BACK HERE!” The woman who’d thrown those things was screaming at him but he wasn’t turning back.
It was only when you heard the screen door slam shut that you dared call out to him. “Raph?”
He heard you, how could he not? Seconds later, he was swinging himself up to your balcony, whispering your name in surprise and looking ashamed at his appearance. He hurriedly brushed any remaining pieces of glass to the floor. “Wh-what are you doing here?”
“I just moved here.” Unable to stop yourself, you reached to grab his arm but stopped when you saw him physically tense up. What had happened to him? He used to be so strong in your eyes, and now he looked afraid to have you touch him.
Slowly, as if you were approaching a scared animal, you gently pulled him inside. You couldn’t help but notice that he just looked so angry and… broken.
“Are you okay?” You knew your concern was valid since he was quiet a long moment before answering.
“…I’m fine.” He was lying to you, and he hated himself for doing that. He regretted it the moment those two words left his lips.
Sucking in a breath you gently grabbed those huge biceps of his and met his troubled gaze. God, you’d missed those piercing green eyes of his. “You’re not fine Raph… you’re covered in wine and…” You looked at his face, studying it more. “Does she… hit you?”
He turned away in shame as he tensed. “Doesn’t hurt none…”
You narrowed your gaze, your own anger rising up as you gave those arms a squeeze. “How often is she hitting you, Raph…?” Again, when he doesn’t answer right away your tone and your grip become harder. “How. Often?”
He spoke so quietly you almost don’t hear it. “A lot…” If he’s finally admitting it to someone, it should be you.
A lump was quickly forming in your throat as you realized what had been going on. What kind of relationship he’d been dealing with. Why he was so tense and unsure. How unhealthy it was and why you hadn’t heard from him in so long.
“Raph… that’s… abuse. She’s abusing you.” You whispered these words because it hurt you to say them any louder. You knew Raph would never lay a hand against a woman, but you never expected him to be on the receiving end of this kind of thing.
His first instinct was to argue against that. He bristled as he backed away out of your grasp, walls of defense shooting in place as he tried to deny it. That was ridiculous! Him being abused.
“No it ain’t! I’d know if I was… that’s fucking ridiculous!” He’d curled his hands into large fists, his shoulders hunched and slightly shaking with his denial.
You can feel him practically vibrating with humiliation and uncertainty. You say nothing more as you go to him and start gently rubbing his shell. You’d done this often for him when you both were younger. The action was soothing to him whenever he was angry and upset about something. When you finally felt him relax, you moved around to his front, hugging him tightly. A few tears slip down your cheeks, adding to the wine stains on his red hoodie. You felt absolutely broken for him.
“Please don’t say you’re fine Raph… not to me…” You attempted to swallow the lump and keep your tears at bay. “It’s okay… It’s okay to admit this is happening to you, and it’s okay to leave…” You choked out a sob. “It’s okay… to not be okay. I’m here for you.”
That was it. Finally, finally, the walls fall down as his arms came around you holding you so tight you could barely breathe. He’d been living a lie for so long, spent too many months with this appalling treatment, but seeing you, hearing that was all it took. The dam broke; he buried his face into your shoulder, shaking slightly as he finally allowed himself to break.
He was crying, you realized as he quietly sobbed, his own tears joining yours as you cried together. “It’s okay, big guy…” you choked out. “It’s gonna be okay…” You rubbed his shell as best you could, being an anchor for him in his time of need.
When he finally looked up, you could see his mask was damp, his expression vulnerable and unsure accompanied with shaky breaths. You suddenly had the urge to kiss him. Where had that come from? You two were just friends… right? Plus, this wasn’t the right time… he needed to get his head right and recover. You shook the thought away and took his hand, guiding him to your couch. “Take that off.” You softly ordered. “I’ll wash it.”
Too exhausted to fight or argue, he listened and removed both his red mask and hoodie. Gently, you took them and threw both items into your washing machine with laundry soap and oxyclean. Hopefully, that would be enough to remove the wine stains.
He relaxed into your couch and called for you. “C’mere.” The request was soft yet held a note of urgency. When you approached, he reached for you and pulled you onto his lap. “Jus’ wanna hold you,” he murmured, needing your comfort and closeness, something he’d been severely lacking in for a long time.
It was easy to melt into his embrace and wrap your arms around him in return. “I gotcha big guy…”
He held you quietly for a long time, just breathing in your scent and taking in your soft energy. This was the turning point, the sign he’d needed to make a permanent change in his life and cut that toxic woman out of his life. He hadn’t felt like he had the strength to do it previously, but with your support, now he did.
“Thank you… for bein’ here…”
“I’ll always be here for you Raph…”
True to his word, he’d made good on his decision to completely cut ties with her. There had been even more yelling and items being thrown at him, but he was done. Once he’d made up his mind, that was it. He was one hundred percent DONE. She didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell to come back from it.
You were there waiting for him when he told you the news and were so happy and relieved or him. His brothers, in turn, were also relieved with Mikey even calling to thank you for being there for his big brother.
He visited you regularly, now having a much better reason to go to that same apartment building. The two of you slowly reconnected and started making up for lost time. You were a crucial part of his recovery and ended up being a major element in his support system. The feelings you had toward him from that fateful night had only grown stronger, but you wouldn’t act on them. You couldn’t, not until he was fully healed.
Raph had been realizing how wrong he’d been to let you go and had vowed to make it up to you. It was little things at first, stopping by after patrols with pizza, sending you a random meme that he hoped would make you laugh, and bringing you your favourite latte in the mornings. He was slowly coming to terms with how much he had missed this and how much he had missed you. This is what a healthy relationship looked like, and he felt like a fool for not seeing it earlier.
It was a few months later that it had finally hit him over the head that what he’d needed and what he truly wanted had been right in front of him all along. He saw you, and when he’d nervously confessed his feelings, he’d been absolutely elated when you’d told him you felt the same way.
That first kiss you two shared had been the pinnacle of his journey to healing.
Afterwards, you’d held him close and whispered these words.
“No one will ever hurt you again.”
Because you would make sure of it.
The End
@danceingfae @thelaundrybitch @iridescentflamingo @redsrooftopprincess @ninnosaurus
@the-cauldron-witch @thepinkpanther83 @avery73 @adebauchedsloth @sophiacloud28
@definitely-canon @scholastic-dragon @truffle-reblogs
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Woof. Okay guys. This is the rest of Sizzles story. I will still be drawing him, but I just want to tell his ending. Feel free to send asks and I will answer OOC.
So he leaves the shelter closest to the entrance of metroplis just as it closes, traping Artificer inside while he runs to warn the scavengers.
He jumps up the western wall, the one you'd usually leave the chieftains throne from. He gets pretty scraped up by narrowly avoiding spears and recklessly boosting into concrete. But he makes it.
Meanwhile, Artificer is exploding as much as she can to escape the shelter. This will leave her weekend but free.
Sizzle warns the chieftain. The chieftain's citizen ID drone labels Sizzle with the mark of the chieftain, adding to her understanding of Sizzle's situation. She is fully prepared to start sending elites tworads Artificer. However...
She's already here, much worse for wear, but burning with absolute fury. She doesn't even address Sizzle, charging straight for the chieftain, explosive spear in hand. Sizzle would most certainly end up with a new scar if Artificer had caught up to him earlier.
A fight ensues as Sizzle watches in horror, every second he is reminded of his life that lead him here. Every painful and joyful moment spent with Artificer or his tribe.
Artificer gets the best of the chieftain, splitting her mask in two, she raises a spear for one last blow...
And Sizzle tackles her to the ground. Rasing his own spear, his eyes tear up and his heart races. He stabs into Artificer's skull, killing her in an instant.
This scene is parallel to the one in this post where Sizzle kills a vulture to protect someone.
Sizzle is obviously left distraught. This was far from the hasty plan he made earlier. His mother was dead by his own hands. For all the pain she caused him, it was still difficult to come to terms with what he's done.
The chieftain comes to Sizzle's aid as he stumbles backwards. A karma flower blooms from Artificer's skull, quickly wilting, signifying permadeath. She was gone. Forever.
Sizzle is given one half of the chieftain's mast to signal his sacrifice. He lives among the chieftain, and her pup
Who bares a similar appearance and personality to Tangled Kelp.
Sizzle finds solace in this for the moment. So eventually, with his reputation restored, a key to Metropolis, and his freedom. He returns to Five Pebbles.
And that's really it. The rest of his days are spent hanging out with scavengers, helping deal with the damage Artificer left, and living his life. I'll do some stuff about who he meets (cannon characters) and how long he lives if you guys ask about it. It's not priority right now though.
Thanks for helping me through the motivation to finish this story, its been a blast to tell :3
Reminder that it's not the end of Sizzle content. I hope i gave you guys a good ending <3
#my art#rain world#art#digitail art#slugcat#rw sizzling waters#rw artificer's pups#rw artificer#rw scavenger chieftain#rw scavenger#rw metropolis#rw au#cw death#cw gore#cw abuse
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Since I played Shadow Generations, I went back to re-watch the opening cutscene of the 2005 game. And wow, my 8 year old brain definitely filtered some of the stuff in the intro, or didn't notice it because of how fast it played. The black arms are probably one of the most brutal factions in sonic history. They literally just drop out of the sky and start raising hell, which is unironically terrifying if you were just a civilian living in the city.
Like, look at the scene where the giant one tosses an entire car and causes an explosion. It rolls, and explodes right by a gun squad, ragdolling them all instantly. That's three or four people DEAD.
The next scene has a POV of a Gun Soldier, and you see a black arms trooper hop up on a car, and guns down a soldier. And another black arms on the left just walking casually shoots the other one (and continues shooting the dude's body, absolutely brutal.) The only gun soldier standing which is the soldier we have the POV of, gets attacked by one of the flying black arms. That's presumably three more dead, possibly even more, since the one on top of the car continues shooting at something off screen.
Even while GUN troops are getting destroyed, not even civilians are safe, because although the car this behemoth lands on is empty, he slams a civilian car into the building. I thought it was a cop car, but this is a solid black car, no white doors or anything. All of the civilians in that car (Possibly a family with children) are now gone.
The final scene in the intro is probably the most brutal, because of how much stuff happens in just a few seconds. In fact if you blink you'll probably miss it, so I zoomed in a little.
On the top left you can see a squad of three GUN soldiers being absolutely demolished by some sort of explosion launched by the Black Arms troopers charging at them. Then those same troops keep sprinting past their bodies and begin shooting at presumably more people between the buildings who were probably survivors trying to hide.
On the lower right we see that there's an entire horde of them, a behemoth throwing a police car at something off screen. (Probably a person) and all around him there's like a dozen or so black arm troops walking around and shooting at everything and everyone (once more off screen)
I find this one the most disturbing for two reasons. One is that if you look closely, some of them who are hanging behind the parade are just purposefully shooting at wrecked cars and debris piles. Which could mean either they're purposefully causing as much destruction as possible, or they're trying to scare survivors out. (They even bothered animating the sparks of laser bolts hitting the cars and walls, which meant the animators purposefully animated some of them doing that.)
The other reason I find it somewhat unnerving is that the idea of an entire horde of black arm troops just walking down the street and brutally massacring the town, and in such a casual manner as if it's a completely normal thing.
All those people dead in like a twenty or thirty second timespan. The fact that somehow all this stuff was in a sonic game. A SONIC GAME. ONLY RATED E 10 AND UP, LIKE NONE OF THIS WAS WORTH THE TEEN RATING?
H O W ? !
Back in the 2000s, people accused this game of blatantly copying the Covenant from the Halo series, and even if they did, they definitely were faithful to the original material, considering they kept in the part of the aliens wanting to genocide humanity and will gun down any human they see.
Anyways rambling over. I love Shadow and I love his game. :-)
#shadow the hedgehog#shadow 05#sonic x shadow generations#shadow#black arms#black doom#black arms aliens#sonic the hedgehog#sonic fandom#shadow the hedgehog game#autistic rambling#video games#sonic games#sonic generations
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dont mind me, just lining up for the arcane thoughts
I'M EXPLODING MY EMOTIONS ARE A ROLLER COASTER I'M A MESS AAAAAAH
Just as a warning : SPOILERS for the 3 first episodes of Arcane S2 below !
SO :
CAIT AND VI KISSING AND BREAKING UP IN THE SAME EPISODE ???? WHAT
I'm so devastated by Caitlyn's reactions... I know she's in pain, grieving, suffering, but Vi knows that feeling way too well and is trying to help her get back to her senses and Cait is just being so brutal. Once again that's understandable but I feel so much pain ;; VI DOESN'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS
She always has been the sweetest and always fought because she had to, nothing more nothing less. I think she would rather not fight or only for herself if she had the choice. But she keeps being stuck in these and her past is haunting her, and even with Cait who promised her she wouldn't change literally just before this whole thing happened... It's just terrible, I was expecting her to leave Vi but to HEAT her with the cross of her sniper like that ??? THEY KISSED IN THE SWEETEST WAY JUST BEFORE THIS, WHAT
Ambessa, I'm not feeling her at all. She's just making everything worse and Mel is very right to be so cautious and to not trust her
VIKTOR BECAME JESUS FOR ZAUN (which is a good thing for people suffering from Shimmer I guess)
Ekko, Heimerdinger and Jayce doing their own little thing, drinking tea, trying to solve Arcane's runes and entering in one ?? Okay that is pretty fun xD
JINX AND ISHA ARE FREAKING ADORABLE. I love their dynamics so much and you can already know how much Isha will be important for Jinx' development. The way Isha just protects Jinx from Vi is just adorable and terribly heartbreaking, considering she's protecting one sister from the other ;;
I love how Jinx and Sevika seem closer and to get along better now that Silco is gone, somehow it feels he was the one stopping them from getting to actually know each other. Jinx, Isha and Sevika dynamics are just PERFECT and I feel like with them we're aiming in a better direction. All Sevika ever wanted always has been rights for Zaun, a true nation, just like Jinx so if they actually manage to make of Jinx a symbol of revolution it's just so COOL
I can't wait to see what happens next week AAAAH ♥♥♥
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane saison 2#jinx#vi#sevika#isha#cait#jayce#viktor#ekko#arcane s2 spoilers
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dreamer screaming in visceral agony then it cutting to raven’s devil primo is one of those wrestling things that is deeply engraved into my brain
#sorry but raven is the fucking master to me#the culmination of what I think is the most emotionally heavy feuds of all time being done in roh through the ravenpunk dog collar#is so special to me#what wrestling is all fucking about#and punk carrying that to max was everything to me#and now it’s gone and I want to explode
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asking nerd Bakugou to give you a ‘pearl necklace’ and he starts grumbling about you tryna drain him dry but instead of pulling out his cock, he pulls out his phone to actually search for a pearl necklace </3
and to both his surprise and embarrassment, his phone is quickly tossed away in favor of you showing him what you’re actually asking for. he’s not mad though—not when you end up looking so pretty covered in white, grinning, and asking for another necklace <3
#I wanted to write this full out but my head actually feels like it’s gonna explode#I’ve been feeling a little more inspired lately tho which is great!!#I’ve been reading and watching (more watching) a lot of creative works/media#and I always forget how much it helps inspire creativity#I wrote a poem last night for the first time in a month I think#and now I wanna continue writing my original story and my tengen fic#I just hope the academic week doesn’t drain me too much this week#bc I would love to write more ;-; I miss it!!#bakugou treats! 🍬#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#my tags r still gone tho I hate this shit
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You think that you're alone but
We are waiting for you every night...
You're mine.
Close ups and other stuff below!
...so....10 years, huh?
I cannot understate how much FNaF means to me in my life, and yeah...know that sounds a b i t much considering it's the funny har har bear games, but lemme explain-
Truth is, i was actually terrified of FNaF when it first came out! I remember my first introduction to it was when i was having a sleepover at my friend's place and he was both playing and watching other people play the first game, and when i was watching it with him, i got scared and tried to avoid the game as much as i could, even claiming to hate the game despite just knowing the first game. I was young and was prone to sheltering myself from stuff i didn't understand, and that being the first scary game i've ever seen caused that reaction, but over time...that changed.
It happened when i was watching YT and clicked on a comic dub i never seen before, thinking it was an AU for a fandom i was in (probably Undertale i dunno), but lo and behold, it was actually a fandub/animatic for the missing kids incident, and that...peaked my interest. I got curious on how this scary game actually had an interesting story to it and not just some game that goes boo. So, soon after that, i decided to look up simply "FNaF Story", found the Game Theory videos, and...the rest is history.
I was amazed and hooked, got invested in how the games explained the story in ways i've never seen before, got excited when i saw everything click together in real time, and pair that with how i got into the series r i g h t when Sister Location came out, arguably when the lore really started to kick off, i knew there was no going back now. I stuck with the series since. I watched all the animatics and dubs, listened to all the songs, tried drawing the characters, made OC's, and even talked to other people about this franchise.
And now look- Not gonna pretened this whole time it's been sunshine and (Chica's) rainbows, especially in recent times. The drop off SB caused, the lore getting more and more complicated and convoluted, the divide between older and newer fans, being the founder of Mascot Horror (for every Poppy Playtime there i s a Garten of Ban Ban) and course the IRL drama, but in all seriousness...i still wouldn't trade it for anything.
FNaF, this series, is my very first experience connecting me with a community like this, both good and bad, helping me understand how to properly enjoy media and even learn/take things from it, and i think without it i wouldn't be in the fandoms i'd be in now. The scary, horror ones, the niche, hard to find ones, story driven, character rich, and of course...more importantly...getting me into Markiplier, which further influenced the "outside the box" kind of thinking cause my g o d for these two stories you need too-
And speaking of, because of those two stories, it lead to me branching out more creativily and even creating my own webcomic for an AU combining both of them, so regardless on how that'll go, i'm just glad this series has influenced me enough to create something for others to see, since that's all i ever want to give.
But really, this franchise will forever be with me, and though i don't always agree with all of it (i haven't read any of the books in y e a r s and i refuse to do so), it only makes some of the stuff it does do right completely worth it (like the movie, peak cinema), and for where ever this bear shaped train is going next, well, i'll be here for the ride for all of it. No matter how many burning buildings it goes through.
...oh and um- Right yeah. The actual art piece. Uh....it crashed multiple times when drawing it. It's even a miracle i was able to export it. I can't even open it up anymore. So even if i wanted to change anything about it, i c a n 't -
But still pretty happy with how it came together! Was run drawing these robos, some being kinda redraws from the past, while other's i've n e v e r drawn before, so that was interesting! But still, tried to draw the "main character" so to say from each of the main FNaF games, and just kinda be...walking along through the series, nothing too deep or complex, but still interesting enough! ....unlike the fnaf storyline cause g o d how many restaurants wERE THEIR S C O T T -
But for real this is going long enough, so ima head out and do my own FNaF related things thay you don't need to worry about shush *commits arson*
HAPPY 10TH FNAF BIRTHDAY EVERYBODY!! >:DD
#sorry if Tumblr compress this btw but like i said#there is nothing i can do bout it now#this is the widest art piece i've ever made#and my poor medibang just couldn't handle it and exploded the piece#...#no i'm not kidding#the file is gone on medibang#it died in a fire as far as i'm concerned#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#fnaf 2#fnaf 3#fnaf 4#fnaf sister location#freddy fazbear's pizzeria simulator#fnaf help wanted#fnaf security breach#fnaf ruin#golden freddy#the puppet#marionette#springtrap#nightmare fredbear#ennard#helpy#glamrock freddy#M.X.E.S.#eyesore's art
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do—
Do Howdy and Barnaby ever get together in your human au 🥺🥺
of course they do, who do you think i am
oh BOY do i have things to say about human!Laughingstock! im so unwell about them allow me to talk and talk and talk and ta-
~
so in this au they're like... the ultimate slowburn. their feelings for each other slowly simmer and grow over the course of *checks nonexistent watch* a lil over a decade i think. it's not very dramatic - just soft & silly w/ just a heap of pining and a pinch of angst for Flavor
it starts when they were teens - Howdy had a lil crush on Barnaby in middle school. and how could he not? Barnaby was cute, hilarious, and kind. at this point, they weren't friends! Barnaby knew Howdy's name, but only because they'd shared a school since elementary (as with 6/7 of the other neighbors) & speaking from experience, you just Know Those Names. Howdy slowly "grew out of" this crush, especially when the friend group started forming and he & Barnaby became actual friends.
that crush would fluctuate over the years. It starts out strong and then softens into just this hum in the back of Howdy's mind. always there, often easy to ignore, just... part of him, in a way.
Barnaby has a similar experience. when he and Howdy became friends, he got a lil crush - how could he not? Howdy was cute, laughed at all of his jokes and had a few of his own, and was endearingly eccentric. but at the time, Barnaby didn't recognize the crush for what it was. so he elected to ignore it until the crush dwindled to something easily manageable, something he wouldn't realize is still there. as with Howdy's, it'd never fully go away
and its noticeable enough to their friends that they'd all kinda side-eye how touchy Howdy & Barnaby are with each other (Barnaby is a physical guy, but damn. if Howdy is nearby they Will find a way to be touching at all times), the way they always laugh at each others jokes, the way they always ask "where's [x] / is [x] coming with" whenever the other is absent. but the group couldn't be sure if they were looking into it or not. it's too subtle. over time they get so used to it that they don't bat an eye - Howdy is Barnaby's best friend after Wally. of course they're close!
but then there's this one college party Howdy drags Barnaby to (and by extension, Wally). they're drunk off their asses, Wally's edible has kicked in, the party is pretty chill and everyone is having a decent time. all three of them are on the couch, and Barnaby and Howdy start drunk-complimenting each other. naturally, this feeds their mutual attraction, and one thing leads to another! they make out on the couch. naturally with Wally sandwiched between them, snacking on chips and committing the moment to memory (it's a surprise tool that'll help them later!) neither Barnaby nor Howdy will remember this
now, something i'd like to state for Barnaby in this au! he has had a lot of relationships - from one night stands to actually dating someone for months. sometimes the one night stands were a "he takes someone home after a date, & they leave while he's sleeping and ghost him" situation. with actual dating, the other person always breaks things off after a few weeks, if not days. it breaks Barnaby's heart a little bit every time. to the point where in his mid-20s, he just... stops dating. he avoids other people's advancements towards him, he always takes a friend with him to bars/etc as a buffer, he becomes an expert at gracefully turning people down
("why, pray tell" no one asks "do they always leave him? he's such a catch!" that he is! when he was in school, it was his friend group. he'd try to introduce his 'girlfriend' to his friends, and it'd be an immediate "eugh, you're friends with those freaks? no way!" as an adult, people found it off-putting how (by societal standards) unusually close he was with Wally. also, again, a "weird" friend group. they'd think it's too much, or just not their scene, or 'why don't you date your little blue haired boyfriend', etc. Barnaby never holds it against Wally or his friends. he has the mindset of if that person was the one, they would accept every part of Barnaby - and his friends are indeed part of him. Howdy has also dated around a little, but to a much lesser extent. he's too busy! he doesn't have time for that!)
but the ball really starts rolling in their late 20s. something the group does together - as a fun lil rare hobby - is LARPing. they get really into it! Sally made them all custom costumes, Julie helped make the weapons (like a giant sword for herself), etc etc. they fully commit to the bit (even Frank <3). so at this event's point in the timeline, Eddie is fully integrated into the clique, but that's unimportant - just to show where we are!
so they're all doing their thing, it's a pretty big LARP event - there's always way more people than our dear neighbors, yk. they're just part of the crowd! & there's a big battle hosted, the group is split between teams, but Barnaby & Howdy are on the same side! yay! during the battle, Barnaby is "mortally wounded." Howdy half-drags him away from the main battle under the cover of their teammates (including Eddie and Julie) and sits him down by the tree. now, Howdy & Barnaby are the ones who get into the roleplay the most. they get lost in the sauce! they perform the hell out of everything they do!
& since Barnaby is "dying", he really acts like it. Howdy acts accordingly, but again, they get a little too emotional, a little too into it, a little lost in the sauce. genuine tears are in their eyes, Howdy's voice is genuinely shaking a little as he holds Barnaby in his "dying moments" (Barnaby is holding the sword between his arm and his side. he has ketchup on his armor.) Eddie and Julie are getting choked up just watching this happen. and as Howdy & Barnaby look into each others' tear-filled eyes, those little feelings that have been so quiet for so long come right back babey! full force! but then they all get hit with "arrows" and have to die right there and then, and the moments over. but! both Barnaby & Howdy walk away from this LARP session grappling with Partially Realized Feelings.
Barnaby struggles with this the most, since yk at this point he's sworn off dating. he's being careful with his heart! but when he tells Wally all of this, cause he tells Wally everything, Wally's like "oh. yes, i know! remember that one college party where you two kissed for an hour". and then he goes on to point out every instance where he's thought "right, Howdy and Barnaby are in love" (bc Wally is way more observant than he lets on! he saw that shit! his peepers were peepin!)
BUT IT'S STILL A SLOW BURN BABEY!
Barnaby and Howdy don't approach each other about this. they're both in the boat of "well, i'll just keep going and see what happens" to the point where they're practically dating without ever saying anything to each other. Howdy notices how Barnaby lingers around the store more. Barnaby notices how Howdy keeps turning up at his work to talk more. (they already chat so much...) but they still! dont! say! anything! but they both Know! they're not emotionally circling each other they are Dancing to their Own Music!
and Barnaby is letting himself believe that this can work because, well... Howdy already accepts him as he is. Howdy is part of the group. Howdy loves Wally just like the rest of em. Howdy has seen Barnaby at his (presumed) worst and didn't even flinch! as for Howdy, well, he just thinks this is right! his whole life no one has really caught his eyes or heart, but Barnaby is different. he's always been in Howdy's peripherals. it feels natural to love him so deeply. Barnaby slots into his life like the final piece of a puzzle!
there's a lot of stuff that happens in this inbetween state - Howdy's store burns down & almost takes him with it, there's some family drama that needs to be handled, The Crash happens, etc etc etc - so it's a while before they "actually" get together. but they're both patient! they've waited this long, even if they didn't know they were waiting. neither of them are in a rush. they're young. they have time.
#oughhhhhh so normal about them sooooo so normal (lying)#'do you know how they get together' yes. obviously. its not dramatic or a big thing or anything#they're just at a function together - maybe there's a little late evening art show in town that wally is participating in#or an afterparty for one of sallys successful plays#but in my mind barnaby and howdy are ofc sitting together off to the side#Flirting. yk how it is. barnaby's like 'hey can i practice some pickup lines ;)' & ofc howdy agrees yk yk#they're all terrible btw. howdy laughs at every single one. barnaby is on an emotional high. the rizz is strong w this one#one thing leads to another - barnaby says a terrible line essentially asking if howdy wants to ~come home with him~#but like. howdy agrees. and immediately the tone between them goes from lighthearted & joking to dead serious & tense#everything between them has gone unspoken until now but Now Theyre Saying It#suffice to say they leave the party early! they're giddy giggly lil bitches about it - acting like teens sneaking out yk yk#GOD THEY'RE SO FUCKING AGHHHHHH THROWING THEM FULL STRENGTH INTO A WOODCHIPPER#sorry. sorry. im calm now. thats a lie. i will proceed to explode#but anyway anyway#so that was a whole thing & basically long story short Barnaby has the morning of his dreams#Howdy makes him and Wally pancakes and they all have a nice quiet breakfast together. The Domesticity🤌#im gonna go shove my head in a blender now. excuse me#rambles from the bog#wh modern human au#gonna leave that as the tag#but yeah their story is just! slow! its a soft descent!#meanwhile frank & eddie are stumbling through their feelings like newborn fawns#but yeah and howdy & barnaby continue to take their time#its a while before barnaby is like 'hey wanna move in with us?'#howdy '....yeah sure'#and Boom! Howdy moves in!#and they actually get married a while later without anyone but wally knowing. they do it for tax reasons initially.#since they're not ready to be Married married but! they! want! the! benefits!#they keep their own last names and dont have rings bc again! theyre not ready for that yet!#FUCK IM OUTTA TAGS I HAD MORE TO SAY! TUMBLR INCREASE YOUR TAG COUNT! AGH
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Jim wrote Claire a love letter before fighting Draal -
No he did not.
That was not a fucking love letter. He didn't even confess his feelings to her; he confessed that there are monsters that he had to fight. She didn't interpret it as a love letter, nor did she realize the monsters were literal instead of metaphorical.
That was not a love letter. That was a final message to the survivor. That was a suicide note.
#jim lake jr#claire nuñez#tales of arcadia#trollhunters#meta#not to vagueblog but i saw a post that was wrong about this and if i didn't write this out i knew i'd explode but i didn't want to be mean#to OP by telling them that they were wrong on their own post#jlaire#technically#and now that the rage has died down i have gone and edited this post so that there is a period where there was once a comma#no other edits were made
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𝒲𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝑀𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝐻𝒶𝓈 𝐵𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝑅𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇𝑒𝒹, 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒮𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝐵𝑒 𝒯𝑜𝓇𝓃 𝒯𝑜 𝒮𝒽𝓇𝑒𝒹𝓈.
#Aoi Takumi#blog#my gifs#NEOWIZ#ROUND8 STUDIO#Lies Of P 2023#Lies Of P#2023#game#Deluxe Edition#license version#PC#/#...𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝓂𝓎 𝑜𝓌𝓃...#from the very beginning to the very end... I wanted us to be together... wanted us to be a [precious] family... I still love you#& now... everything I treasured... the light keeping me warm... the things I believed in dearly... are gone... this pain is unprecedented#a Korean -gold prize box- in its entirety... -exploding- with bitter tears / almost a human... nothing to hold on to but bleeding wounds#//#[...] -just a game- [...]
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I am not immune to holiday alt Prof. Sycamore pokemas 😔🫵💖💖💖
/don't hmu on how my pulls are going I'm going through it rn SDKFSDKFSDNFS
#fluff speaks !!!#all I wanted was this silly french man in his snazzy new winter coat and bam 11k gems gone SDFSKJDFNSDJFSDNS#y'all help me manifest him to come home for christmas I might actually explode otherwise /lh /lh#he was so sillyyyyyyy in the new holiday event it was so cuteeeee#god he's no joke a core memory for me when it comes to pokemonSDKJFSNDFSN IT'S SO FUNNY LIKE#quick storytime I got gifted Pokemon X back when it first came out (along with a special XY 3DSXL which is one of my fave possessions hehe)#and when I first saw this dude pop up on the intro screen I honestly didn't think much of it - I was like yeah sure another prof but french#BUT THEN fast forward a bit and I'm browsing between channels WHEN I SPOT HIM in the XY anipoke at the time playing on cartoon network#(not XYZ this was before that skdjfnsdfs and it was already english dubbed hence it being on ctn)#and I was like oh wait yeah I know this guy I recognize him#AND IT WAS - AN EPISODE FOCUSING ON HIM A LOT? I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE BUT IT WAS EARLY IN THE SEASON I THINK#but oh my god I got such a huge crush on him specifically because of that anime appearanceSDKJFHSDHFSNDFS#NOT EVEN BECAUSE OF THE ACTUAL GAME BECAUSE BACK THEN I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY POKEMON (REAL)#but yeah that was just something silly to share#pokemas bringing me back to those years fr#I still think it's really funny how pokemon has always been sprinkled throughout my life but it's only now that I really get into it skjdfs#pokemon#pokemon masters#pokemon masters ex#pmex#professor sycamore#sycamore pokemon#pokemon xy#augustine sycamore#doodle
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I NEED. TO DO. OR MAKE SOMETHING. PLEASE
#actually I haven’t had this overwhelming creative energy in a while it feels TERRIBLE thank you very much#okay the thing is. there’s like many things actually so I am going to go Explode in the tags now#the first thing that I am like painfully terribly aching to do is Write something#I talked about this the other day but like. first of all I haven’t added anything to my poems collection for a while and the other day I re#d this beautifully beautifully written story and now I’m like. INEED. TO WRITE A FUCKINGN BOOK#and then there’s also Knitting. a few months ago we impulsively purchased a bunch of knitting tools and now it’s just sitting in my house b#cause I tried it once and I couldn’t do it so I kind of. gave up. now suddenly I want to like. knit a scarf AND ITS EATING AWAY AT ME#I NEED TO LIKE. SIT DOEN AND WATCH A YOUTUBE TUTORIAL AND MAN I COULD TOTALLY DO THAT BECAUSE IM ON HOLIDAY#BUT LIKE. THERES A MILLION OTHER THINGS I WANT TO DO SO IF COURSE THE OPTION MY BRAIN PICKS IS#DO NOTHING AT ALL.#also this is a bit of a silly one but like. I have this long long loooong list in my notes app that I started in 2021#and it’s just Big words. and like. the thing is they used to stick in my brain. I used to be able to add them to the list and use it whenev#needed. now I just write it down and it’s GONE and that makes me want to put myself in an oven because WHY.#I NEED. TO BE THAT PERSON. WITH THE USELESSLY ABYSSAL VOCABULARY#SO I REALLY JUST WABT TO SIT DOWN FOR 2 HOURS AND MEMORISE AND STUDY BUT then again. my brain is all or nothing and#usually it is the latter#another thing is my sketchbook. haven’t added to that in a while and I want to do that but then I will have to wait til sunset or daylight#because I physically cannot create art with artificial electrical light. but then I’ll have to wait til tomorrow and#I really also want to go outside and just exist before I have no time to after break ends#so Yeah.
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honestly. it's so fucking frustrating and disheartening. that the only thing making me hesitant to cleanly cut contact with my mom, the thing that still looms after cutting away from my dad........ is that when they both finally bite it, that's two houses to sell. that's money that may mean *i* get to have my own house someday.
the key to the security my parents failed to give me from the moment i was born lies in their deaths. the least they can do. the very fucking *least* is to leave me the means to build that security on my own. they owe me so much more than that, but realistically? that small act of restitution is all i can and will ask for.
until then? i want nothing to do with them.
#the comments of the article i'm reading involves people discussing their reasons for not going no contact with both parents#one of which being that they're not ready to be an orphan yet#and fuck. i know it's more complicated than this but. i've *always* been an orphan#i've wanted to let my parents go for a very long time#it took longer to do my due dilligence in giving my mom eight million chances but. those chances have come and gone#i don't want to do the work to whittle down our interactions. i don't think our relationship is worth carving it down to 'we can talk for 20#minutes once a month about light topics only. i don't want to hear about your sisters or my dad again thanks'#i get nothing out of that#i feel like now that i've Made Up My Mind (finally. it took so fucking long 😢) i'm obligated to give her one last chance#after outlining the New Rules#but she's an adult. as one commenter said '[s]he was always capable of respecting you.'#my mom is an adult. for all the work she's done on herself#she could've caught on that benting about her sisters every time we talk is not an appropriate topic of conversation#she could have noticed all the times i tried to interrupt her when she was here. not even to interrupt her to stop her from talking but#interrupting her so i could PARTICIPATE in the conversation#she is an ADULT and she is capable of looking at our interactions and seeing that they need improvement#there are certain boundaries that polite well adjusted people do not need to deliberately express to expect to have them respected#my mother is responsible for identifying those boundaries and that work. no i can't expect her to read my mind and intuit my boundaries#without me saying so. but i CAN expect her to ask my consent before discussing heavy topics. i CAN expect her to be self aware enough to#allow me to participate in conversations with her#i CAN expect her to manage her emotions to not be a volatile monster just waiting to trauma dump or explode#it is not my responsibility to teach her basic interpersonal decency#and i don't need to give her the eight million and one'th chance to prove she can be respectful this time#she was always capable of respecting me. she just chose not to#venting her feelings and being in her triggers is more important to her#and i sincerely hope she'll stay tangled in those feelings and not bring out the gaslighty 'i'll do anything to keep you in my life!!!!!!'#because. clearly. she will not.#she was always capable of respecting me. and emotional manipulation is not a part of that#personal#i just want to get my parents dying over with so i can afford a down payment on a fucking house
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I'll never get over this foreshadowing
The cliff she was on in her first dream during the pilot episode even matches when her arm broke on the Donut Planet
I love finding parallels like this
#i want to explode with bee and puppycat lore#bee and puppycat spoilers#spoilers#pk anxietychild rambles#i know people have gone in depth with the show by now probably but i want my own analysis#bee and puppycat
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7:57
Thinking of re-doing one of my old Omori aus (my "OHHELL" au)
Doing the same approach as my brother (Danny,, @dannybobany ) did for his au (Marzenie). Cuz- woah. Never thought of that actually, was doing the common switched roles for the au. But now I think I can just simply have Hero's headspace being more of an unfinished area?
Main stuff to know tho; ocean themed — mermaids (love/forsaken love). Slightly religious (church, and "perfection"). Others vs You (? Maybe?). Tradition vs New (can go well with the church idea!).
It was- mainly inspired by the song Love Ka? 👍 (But also also! Bathtub mermaid too!!)
#time diary(?)#audrey/kellie's time diary#letting the brain talk#omori#omori au#omori hero#Frilled shark nun hero lets gooooooo#anyways. uhm#yeagh#OHHELL: OMORI#(fun fact about the “ohhell” its just. like. “oh hello” & “hell” combined yk?. smth smth. the mind is mean place)#lots and lots of just. hero spiralling down and down and down. to drown in his thoughts; to float in his mind. what is he?#who is he? hes dedicated his life to mari. his love. now? shes gone. whats there to do? i couldn't stop it. i dont want the others to leave#but im too tired to leave to check for myself. god. por dios. i hope they're not mad at me. i hope they understand. i hope i understand#(explodes)#being silly in the tags
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i need to walk into a field and just sit for for a while.. maybe forever hbfsh...
#just me hi#turns out my brother and i share a lot of views on stuff hfbvshvfha#he was spamming me on discord the other day and i forgot to read them up til now lol#/the world has always been like this...#it's something after something after something. and horrible things may be steadfast but i think we forget about the general constant of#kindness#and why are we surprised it's there? we'll see pictures or videos of people who are not too long ago gone and be pleasantly surprised at th#joy that's found there#who said we didn't used to laugh?#forgetting the good is easy i guess. i get that hfhsvh#idk. i'm putting exploding pngs over some people's faces khfvjhvsbh :)#//anywho aside from that i think i'm gonna writeee#ik i said that earlier and i Did forget. but maybe this time i've got it hfbvhs#or nooot cuz i wanna watch a show too... oh the decisions lol.... :3#nom nom nom....#i also wanna draw smth i think.. or maybe i just Really wanna write cuz i need to get some character stuff out NOW hfhs#questions questions!!#guess i'll go see what i'll do about that now :3#.maybe the cowboy au.. cowboy au my beloved....#still tryna figure out what would be the Big Problem there hfhvs#cuz i want it to be more historical fiction than fantasy.. hmmm....#cults are a classic! always fun lol :>#or maybe cattle theft.. hmmmmm..!!#well i'd better get on it hfhs#toodles ciao :D
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