#and now it’s finally close enough to do it
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simpforboys · 2 days ago
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frat!perv!manipulative!rafe who’s obsessed with topper’s dumb gf…
(warnings: shameless groping, dry humping, reader is innocent and ditsy, cheating (?))
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Sweet Jesus, no way you were actually that dumb?
When Rafe walked into the dorm he shared with Topper at the Sigma Alpha Phi fraternity house, he wasn’t too shocked to see you. After all, you were with his best friend.
“Hiya, Rafey.” You sweetly called out to him, lying on your stomach and mindlessly kicking your feet behind you while you scrolled on Instagram.
“Mhm, hey, pretty girl. Whaddya doin’ here alone? Top ditch you?” Rafe questioned, throwing his backpack down on his side of the room.
“He’s in the bathroom.” You murmur, eyes still glued to your phone as a funny meme came up, and you couldn’t help but giggle at it.
Rafe hummed in response, a small smirk curling onto his lips as he took in your outfit. A mini denim skirt, babydoll shirt, and… white lace panties.
Rafe knew you weren’t the smartest or most aware girl in the world, but your sweet and bubbly personality made up for the lack of it. And he can’t say he minded, really. Not when he always got to see peeks up those little skirts you wore or your bra every now and then.
“Sweetness, y’know your panties are hangin’ out, yeah?” Rafe scoffed, walking the five feet over to your boyfriend’s bed.
His large hands moved to grip your soft cheeks, pulling them apart to see the white piece of fabric barely covering your cunt.
You peered over your shoulder, seeing Rafe squeezing and touching your butt. It wasn’t anything new, Rafe always touched you like that when Topper was gone. But you were okay with it, because he always assured you that he was just looking out for you as his best friend’s girlfriend.
“‘m sorry, Rae. Didn’t realize.” You mumbled, before turning back to scroll on your phone, genuinely believing Rafe was fixing your skirt for you.
He climbs up onto the lifted bed, knees on either sides of your hips. “This skirt s’so damn frustratin’… doesn’t wanna come down this pretty ass.”
“Fix it, Rae.” You huffed, adding another post to your close friends story.
Rafe rolled his eyes. Damn brat. But his cock was painfully hard against his shorts, and he knew Topper took forever in the bathroom. “Yeah, baby, ‘m fixin’ it.”
So, his hands lifted your hips a bit, presenting more of your (barely) clothed cunt and ass to him. He pressed his erection against it, grinding slowly at first.
You just kept scrolling, unaware Rafe was dry humping you shamelessly on your boyfriend’s bed — because he was fixing your skirt.
He had to bite down on his lip to keep a moan from leaving the back of his throat. Your pussy was so fucking warm against his bulge, the lace revealing most of it.
And every day Rafe hates himself for not getting with you before Topper did. But, some sick part of him also liked the thrill of doing this on his best friend’s bed, with your ditsy brain.
The adrenaline coursing through him was enough to make him throw his head back a little, sculpted hips moving a bit quicker as he let out a strangled whimper.
His bulge directly hit your clothed clit, making you gasp out. “R-Rafey, are you fixin’ it?”
“Yeah, sweetness. Jus’ hold still f’me…”
He grunted, hands digging into your hips. The sound of your gasp and the delicious — yet not enough, friction felt made his hips stutter, eyes squeeze shut, a small moan leaving him as he cums in his shorts.
He pants a little before he snaps out of it, and reluctantly pulls your skirt down to cover most of your ass. The tall boy then climbs off the bed, looking down at you, still giggling at some meme.
And then Topper finally came in, bidding his friend a “hey”, unaware that his roommate just dry humped his girlfriend.
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madamechrissy · 10 hours ago
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Mafia! Prettyboy Gojo headcanons
Pairings: Mafia Boss Gojo x bartender F! Reader
EXPLICIT- MDNI- sexual content, oral (m and f recieving) fingering, teasing, lowkey obsessed Gojo behavior (he's whipped)), ❄️ drug use, mafia ties/drug dealinggg, mentions of blood and violence, strip club/mafia AU. This will be a new story for Gojo from Pour it Up (Stripclub owner Sukuna x reader)- likely a mini series- I would suggest reading it too so you'll see his personality, but can be a standalone
comment to get on the taglist for the full version!!
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Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo who just finds everything so boring, even snorting lines off pretty stripper's bodies, even drinking with his best friend and partner in crime, Suguru. These meetings and those things, and this job, and this drop, blah. Negotiations!? Pfft. No he wants something fun and no amount of fruity drinks or sugar up the nose is cutting it anymore.
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo has his drink getting filled by one dancer, sipping it and finding it much too harsh, he stands up then, as Sukuna chuckles 'need it even more of a lil bitch drink?' Satoru rolls his blue eyes, flipping Sukuna off then saying 'it's not sweet enough!' Satoru walks out into the humming club then, faltering as he sees a girl that must be new, in a black bra, black booty shorts and fishnets that are glowing under the blacklights. His eyes trail slowly up and down her body, filling him with filthy images as he finally meets her eyes- your eyes.
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo who is usually so cocky and arrogant just stands there for a minute, like you're bringing him right out of some haze he's been in, as he feels your eyes looking right back, nervous smile on your pretty face. 'New here, sweetheart?' he asks, voice husky and deep, probably the prettiest damn person you've ever seen, for a moment you can't answer, blue eyes swirling and bright even under the club's dark lights and through the smoke and fog, you feel his gaze on your body as you're leaning over the side of the bar. 'I am new'
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo can't get your name out of his mind, as you bite your lower lip, focusing on making his drink - 'the first of the new job, you're special' you tease, and Satoru manages to get some of his charm together, chuckling as he leans over the bar. 'I am special, hmm?' you wonder why he wants that many sugary concoctions in one drink, but god it's the best drink, and he has to murmur 'bet you taste even better' earning your blush even under the flashing lights, 'huh?' he just brushes back your hair, smirking before he walks off, bombarding Sukuna with questions about you.
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo specifically requests you sit with him during the next meeting, as they discuss the Zenin family and the Kamo family, two other big names in the Mob scene, but now he gets to focus on you, as he decorates your collarbone with snowy powder, snorting it off you, while you can't stop a little whimper. No one hears it but him, and it makes him feral, cock throbbing as your hips shift, his eyes notice every movement until they close, and he licks the residue off your throat, hot tongue making your mind go insane with images of just what that long pink tongue can do.
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo finds these meetings about the business so much more fun now, but instead of looking at any of the strippers, he's only looking at you, at your pretty eyes, plump lips parted as you look at him, and he wonders how pretty you'll look cumming just for him. When they're all leaving the meeting in the VIP room the next time, you can't stop yourself, sitting on his damn thigh, wetness making your panties sticky, and you look at him then. 'Need something, sweets?' he murmurs, smirking like an arrogant little ass, as his hand slips up and down your thigh, and he's been edging you for just too long, so you break - 'touch me, please Mr. Gojo'
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo dies internally at your request, precum already making his boxers stick as he finds your clit under this slutty skirt you have on, rolling a fingertip over a twitchy clit, and your head falls back, 'mnh, s'good!' you whine, grinding on his thigh, but it's just not enough for Satoru, he turns you so you're straddling him on this red velvet couch, he looks dangerous but somehow sweet, as you clutch his suit jacket, and he sinks two fingers in your cunt, pressing against that spongy spot in your slick walls, making your cunt drool down to his pretty silver rolex, those sleeves of his coated with you as you roll your hips, moaning, back arching - 'shh, sweets, don't want anyone t'hear this slutty cunt, hmm?'
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo has the most ridiculous, long thick fingers you've ever felt, you're closer and closer as he continues curling them inside your eager hole, your lips just a breath from his as your hands now enwrap in his silky white locks, grinding even more on his hand, as he chuckles softly, his breath ghosting over your lips. 'need me to play with that little clit, too?' you nod weakly - 'sure things, pretty girl, there you go, that's it' you're shattering now, and Satoru is watching, while his thumb presses over your twitchy clit, and you're cumming so hard you feel dizzy, pussy pulsing and dripping down his fingers, trembling thighs on either side of him.
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo sighs at how pretty you are, slipping those two fingers in your mouth, smirking and murmuring 'suck them clean, be a good girl for me' and you eagerly obey, before he grabs your hair by the nape of your neck, slamming your lips down on his. You both get interrupted by a very amused Sukuna then, who says 'let her get to work Satoru, or you need to get behind the bar and shake your ass' Satoru chuckles as you're blushing furiously, and he helps you adjust your skirt and panties, 'give her the day off tomorrow, I'll pay to cover someone' Sukuna sighs 'whatever' he grumbles, you blink then, looking down at his grinning face 'Satoru I can't afford to take off' he doesn't know the bills you have, the situation you have to take care of with your family, to help them, he sighs then 'I'll pay you four times your shift to just date me'
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo has never really gone on a date, no he just has girls on his arm, under him on his bed, he certainly didn't have to even try to do something like offer money, but he'd offer anything for a chance at you. You all don't end up going anywhere, though, because once you're in the back of Satoru's limo, and he's doing a line off your inner thigh, he starts licking at it, and before you know it he's dragged your panties off, burying his pretty face right in your pussy. 'ah, Mr. Gojo!' he leans up as he swipes the flat of his tongue from your drooling little hole to your clit, pressing a kiss on it 'Satoru, while you're cummin' all over m'face, hmm baby? taste s'fucking sweet' Satoru dives back in and the sounds of him slurping you up are obscene
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo licks and sucks your clit, humming on it until you're shattering, cumming so hard you see stars, then you're riding him right in that limo, struggling to take his huge cock, as it stretches your tight little pussy out, veiny and thick and sloppy, he moans into your mouth as your walls tighten around his cock, as he slams up endlessly into your pretty cunt over and over. You're on your knees, sucking his cum off him, off his pretty pink tip, before you're on your knees right in the plush limo seat, and he's hitting it from the back, making you cry out 'Satoru!' which makes him bust again, inside you so deep, pulling out and watching your arousal and his cock drip down so messy, before he scoops his sticky cum and shoves it back inside you.
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo can't stop thinking of how good it looked, your pussy sucking up the cum so greedy, when he sees you the next day at your work, and it's not long until he's behind the bar, eating your pussy that he cannot get enough of, all while you're trying to work, you're so cute trying to mix a drink when his tongue is on your clit, and you're squeaking at him, 'Satoru, s-stop' but he can't stop. He's got your panties in his pocket, he'll keep them for later, you shouldn't worry about that, but you're trembling with nerves and fear when he runs out to deal with the Zenin bullshit with everyone, worried about things you don't fully know yet.
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo is dying to get back to you, he doesn't wanna deal with all this shit, he just wants to drink you up more, but here he is, as he deals with some of the bullshit that the Zenins are doing, he can't stand them then, when he has to actually show them just who and what the Gojo family is. When he is covered in blood, him, Suguru, Toji and Sukuna come back to the club, exhausted, when you see him you blink back tears, and he murmurs 'come to my place, clean me up?' He is exhaling and shooting that smirk, but there's so much behind it, you see now. You eagerly obey, realizing you both don't know anything about each other yet, as you're bandaging his pretty face, all cut up, in his pristine bathroom, and you're wondering just what it is that Satoru has gotten into, but for now you both just kiss, his blood tangy against your lips, as his kiss gets hungry, desperate, and he murmurs 'I need you'
Mafia! Pretty Boy Gojo He's smearing that blood across your pretty tits as he has you right on his bathroom counter, knowing he'll do anything to protect you, to keep you, from shit you will now get into for being with him, cupping your face as he fucks into you, and your eyes roll back in your skull, covered in Satoru's spit, his blood, now his precum as he's pumping in and out of you, knowing he certainly can't let you go, but he also can't let anyone know you're his weakness.
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Comment to get tagged when this is a full story hehe- prob gonna be a good 30k long or more knowing me, Satoru is gonna be kinda insane <3
permatags: @alt--er--love @seeing-stars-alt @indiewritesxoxo @nanasukii28 @makingtimemine @cuntphoric @loafteaw @aldebrana @n1vi @miizuzu @beachaddict48 @honeybunnnnie @re-tired-succubus @gojosukuna2268 @waterfal-ling @1brii @wise-fangirl @moncher-ire @orikixx @uhnosav @baepsays  @designerpvssy @moonlitwitchdaisy -@harpersbazaaruhatake @strychnynegirl @jinjen - taglist for this already - @moonchhu @thikcems (and I know @antisocialinlw and @alygator77 will wanna see hehe)
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kenwio · 2 days ago
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Joker's kid! reader : how batfamily would react on them trying to end their life
Route : recovered dove
Please read warnings before reading this one!
If you do not feel like reading it, it's okay! (Spoilers will be at the end of this part) Please have tea or hot cocoa, and read relax 💖 and remember there are people who care and support you 💖 I'll be posting more fluff in future parts
Warnings : heavy topics, mentions of death, implications of self-destructive behavior and suicidal behavior, hurt/comfort, traumatized characters.
Idea for this part from this ask here . I also used this idea for comfort part form here
Author's note : I'm including this part in route: Recovered dove only because I want to show that mental healing of Joker's kid is a long way, it had ups and downs, but in the end they have family who acres about them now.
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You don't know what exactly triggered it. Maybe it was the fact that everyone started discussing break out in Arkham asylum instead of the usual breakfast convention, maybe it was how Bruce said he didn't have time for you, maybe it was how Alfred was distant today, so you thought something wrong, maybe it was that Dick ignored you today, maybe it was that Jason's aggressive demeanor when you saw him, maybe it was Tim's comment when you brought him coffee, maybe it was Damian's harshness when you meet him near your room today.
That all made you feel so lost. To see them all being unwelcoming to you again was overwhelming. Is it because your father is free again, and they thought you'd be helping him? Wait if your father is free... he will want you back. You don't want back! No! You don't want to be with him again! You do not want to be experimented on again, be beaten up by him again. You thought it was finally over, that you were taken away from that life, never to return. You thought you found family! Why does he have to ruin your life again? He drove her away from you already, the only person who protected you before Batman and his birds, the only person who was your family before them, your mom ... and now he is doing it again; he is taking your family away again! But were they your family? You thought that Bruce was thinking about you as his own child, you thought that Alfred was proud of your progress, you thought that Dick was happy to spend time with you, you thought that Jason was enjoying your shared reading time, you thought that Tim liked to study with you, you thought that Damian finally accepted you. Were you wrong? Was it all a lie? Did they want to use you as bait for your father? Or did they think you would be able to tell them something about him? Was that a reason why they got close to you? But now that they see they were wrong, and after they made sure you didn't know anything, they decided to drop the act?
Was it all a happy dream that's just ended? If it was a dream, you don't want to wake up to the nightmare of your previous life. You can't take the suffering anymore. You need to make it stop to end it, to end it all.
You didn't know how long you were in you were in your thoughts, when you got up. You wanted to live. The room that became your own, became your safe space now felt like JOKE. You needed to get away from it. You struggled to open the window, as it required much strength from your shaking hands. But you were persistent in your efforts to open it, and in the end window opened. You looked down, it was quite high, and you knew that for your body, which was unlike theirs, weak and fragile, it would be enough. You've seen a grown man die when he fell from his high back in a crime alley, so for you, it will definitely be enough. Oh, crime alley, you don't want to go there. You don't want to return to life with Joker. You stood up on the windowsill, looking at the green grass down, feeling the cold night wind against your skin. Your head felt heavy, ringing in your ears just made it all worse. You took one step, and you felt incredibly calm. You took another step, only to be pulled away from the windowsill on the ground and held up. You didn't register the loud voice, the way someone was shaking you. You just sit there staring at nothing in particular, not even able to cry because of how tired you are.
In the meantime, Damian, the one who pulled you away from the window, had already called everyone and was trying hard to make you snap out of it. Yet it was not helping. When Bruce arrived, he moved Damian, who was looking at you with extreme worry, aside. Bruce recognized your expression; he had seen it before - thousand-yard stare - your own mind was protecting you from whatever you were feeling. As he was trying to help you, holding you against him, trying to soothe you, the rest of the family arrived in your room, seeing scared Damian, worried Bruce, and you... you looked so broken. It was too hard on them all
A few hours later, when you fell asleep after you came to your senses and cried for a while, Bruce and others started figuring out what made you feel this way. And it didn't take long; they are a family of detectives, after all. And this all made them feel really bad, guilty. As it turned out, on this day, you were too unlucky to notice only the bad sides of things.
There wasn't any breakout In Arkham asylum. Turns out, the lead they were investigating turned out to be false. Bruce, indeed, was busy, but he failed to communicate this in the normal way: he only added that he would try to make some only by the time you stepped away, which he didn't notice. Alfred was distant because he had a migraine today, but he still wanted to work around the house; there were too many chores to be done in the Wayne manor. Dick didn't mean to ignore you, he was too tired after his few nights of being up and he just failed to notice your quiet presence, being too busy thinking about his bed. Jason was behaving aggressively because of the lead about break out from Arkham asylum, which was the one that he followed for his case, and since it was false; it took the case he was working on back to square one. Tim actually was mumbling about his case, quietly cursing criminals, and not you; just like Jason, he had too much trouble because of that stupid lead. Damian stepped in at the last second to help you avoid stumbling and falling when you were waking in your room, which resulted in his harshness to you, but you were too deep in your panic to notice that his gaze was more worried than angry. If Damian wouldn't have been worried and decided to check up on you... non of them want to think about it.
They spend night in your room and in the morning, they talked to you, communicating how things actually were the previous day, and expressing how important you were to them.
It was a shock to everyone. Even Bruce thought it was going fine, that your session was working and helping you, that you were feeling safe, and that your relationships with the rest of the family were getting better. And he knew that what happened damaged the whole family because they almost lost you. He regretted that he didn't phrase his words correctly, feeling like he failed to show his care for you. He knew he should have been careful with words, he knows how impactful they can be. And since he said he hadn't got time for you he started making time for you. He wants you to know that he cares for you and he will make time for you wherever you need him. His one daily check-up became 2 check-ups, and when he had more free time, he checked up more. He pays extra attention to you. Even your little sneeze will make him worried to the point of examination in a medbay. He stays with you, and sometimes talks with you, encouraging you to open up and share your opinion and feelings. He tries to lessen the influence of "bad guidelines" (that were with you because of Joker) in your head. He helps you talk through your feelings, helps you show them and process them. He reminds you that you are cared for now. And he promises that he will protect you. After hearing you out, learning your fears and insecurities, and when he learned out that most of all you are afraid to go by your father's way, he promises you that he will do everything in his power to prevent you from taking this way. Bruce wants you to be happy, to make good memories. You already got unlucky with your father, who made you experience hell, but Bruce will try to be the best Dad he can for you.
Alfred felt so guilty. He knew you needed care, but he was distracted. He feels like he let you down, by forgetting how fragile and sensitive you are. He knew you were struggling; he had seen it himself. If only he had paid you more attention. But Alfred, better than anyone else, knows that he shouldn't be focusing on the past; he needs to work on the present, and he needs to make sure you feel better. He makes sure to make you more happy while he can. It's always your favorite tea at the tea time you share, with his cookies, of course, which he bakes with you from time to time. It's always your comfort shows or documentaries on TV when you two watch something. He also makes sure no one dares to make you feel uncomfortable, even if it will make him look around like Hawk. But Alfred understands that he can't always be around; that's exactly why he makes sure that he teaches you at least a few techniques that would be able to help with worry and anxiety, and he practices them with you. You are his little star, who may be really quiet but still efficiently lights up his days, and he doesn't want to lose you. When you share that you are afraid your family will reject you, he personally goes to everyone, making sure that they won't be saying something that contains a message. He wants to see you all grown up and happy in the end; he will work hard to make sure your life in Manor will be good.
Even when Dick just heard how Damian called for help for you, he felt shocked, what to say when he saw and understood the situation. What do you mean his baby sibling tried to make their life end when he was blissfully unaware, sleeping in his old room? How? What he missed? Just a few days before, you seemed on your way to becoming the happy sunshine of a kid, and now that has happened? He is your older brother and he missed all the singes?! He needs to sit down. It's too hard to accept this version of reality for him. The reality is that he can lose another member of the family. He knows what it is like to lose a sibling, and he will never want to experience it or feel this pain again. And knowing that it's you who tried to end your life makes it all worse. He tries to understand what pushed you, trying to see what he can do to prevent this from happening. He also tries to distract you from all the negativity in your life with quality time and different activities. The incident shook him hard, and while he hoped to introduce you to cuddles differently, he had to do it now. He needs to make sure you are close, still warm, still safe, still alive. And it seemed like cuddling with him made you calmer; you didn't even realize how touch-starved you were until then. It became a sort of comforting ritual for both of you, cuddling, sometimes just cuddling, sometimes while watching something. While cuddling he often says sweet words of reassurance to you. And while he knows he can't stay in Manor forever, he makes sure you know that he is always here for you, just a call away.
Jason was mad at himself for allowing himself to snap at you earlier. He feels incredible guilt that he was the reason that you were in that state. For a few days after, he could only watch you in your room or living room until he talked about his feelings and the incident (how he calls it because he can't speak that out loud, it physically hurts him to admit it) with Bruce and Dick. He started slowly approaching you, continuing your reading sessions, but also, sometimes, he decided just to start talking with you. He shares with you his experiences in the crime alley, and you share yours; you both know that only you two in the whole family could understand the full horror of this place, and that's aside from the fact that both of you know the full horror of Joker. He says to you that you'll never become like him, because he sees you are different. Jason tries to comfort you, yet he knows he is not ideal in it, but he is willing to try as much as he can just for you. He can understand that you feel lonely; he can only imagine how lonely you get when all the family is busy with vigilante work. It got him thinking, remembering. He remembers times when he was still Robin, and sometimes, when he got hurt, he stayed in his room alone, and. he hated it. Back when Dick gifted him a plushie of a bat, and now, in another attempt to comfort you, he brings this old plushie to you. He tells you that this plushie kept him company and protected him from everything bad, and now it will protect you, and now you'll never be alone anymore; your family's love will be here for you.
Tim was second after Damian to arrive in your room. This sight horrified him. He just froze, in shock. For once, he didn't know how to act or what to do. After everyone made sure you were okay, and his brain began working again, he started to do what he knew best - investigating and researching to find ways of how to help you, trying them with you in the meantime. Art therapy? He tried to hold a few sessions with you. Special games? You both alredy beating third one. Special music? Here is his player, listen when you want. He becomes more attentive to you, noticing every little detail. He knows as a person who likes studies like him, you would want to learn more about your mental health and how to care about yours. He found a way to explain the basics of it all to you in a way that is easier for you to understand, and only when she reads articles (that he chose, of course) about mental health and coping mechanisms. You want to cuddle with him while reading? Good, he will do it (he is happy that Dick showed you how to cuddle and totally not jealous). You want to stay with him while he works? Okay, sure, he is here for you. He makes sure you can ask him anything; he reminds you that you are safe with him and with others. So when you ask about Arkham and your father there he makes sure to show you that Arkham is hard to get out (even if it's not true).
Damian didn't like how it felt to see you on the windowsill. He doesn't like how it feels to see you in this state. He doesn't like fear. But fear made one thing clear: he cares about you. He hadn't understood how important you became until that incident happened. You are his sibling, and even if he did not choose you, even if he was against the idea of you being in the family at first, now he knows you held a place in this family like everyone else. And now he knows that he will do everything in his power to make you safe; he will protect you even from yourself. He asked Bruce to install precautions in your room. He follows you like your shadow everywhere you go. He makes sure that there is no danger in your way. He checks up on how you sleep after patrols. He makes sure to be nicer when he is around you, and he heads to ask Father, Pennyworth, and Grayson how exactly to behave around you. He joins in Tim the research of ways for you to cope with traumas or ways to comfort you, and when he sees articles about how communicating with animals improves mental health, he brings Titus to you, and when he goes for walks with Titis he makes sure to take you on them too since he also found out that walks improve mental health, and since it's walking with Titus it's beneficial in double. He protects you and he cares for you even if he struggles with proving it
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Thank you for reading! Feel free to share your opinion and have a good day 💖
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Tag list :
@socially-embarrassing , @leovergurl , @deathbynarcisstick , @cryptic-arr0w , @lynns-cornerr , @cxcilla ,  @charlotteking23 , @ninihrtss , @lillycore , @pix-stuff , @tfamidoingwithmylife , @linoalwaysknows , @00hellohello00 , @lilithskywalker , @bagofrice , @lenaisaloser , @devilslittlehelper , @camilo-uwu , @l3v1us , @eyeless-kun , @stargazingbutgayer, @wpdarlingpan , @weirdothatreads , @maybea1 @lyla-viper-wayne @amber-content @lizzyzzn
if i forgot to add someone to the tag list, please let me know, and i will add you to the next part
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Spoiler:
Next chapter connected to this (click here) and after that I'll finally write about Joker's kid! reader hair dyeing adventures
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yey56 · 3 days ago
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HARLEY SAWYER X PSYCHOLOGIST READER (morally grey)
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You have been working at Playtime CO for some years now, you worked as the head department of psychology but most of your work consisted on providing profiles of the children in the lower levels or as your coworker called them, experiments.
Over the years of working with them and knowing what they are being turned into, you've learned to work with them pre and post experimentation. Another thing you've learned through time was to deal with the partner you were assigned for the project. Harley sawyer.
What is there to say about that man. He is the head scientist in the project but he is absolutely horrible at dealing with them, or with anyone. That's how you were assigned to work along side him . He made the experiments and you maintained them under control.
Initially the ones who needed to be under control where you two because of your crashing personalities. While he was a serious control freak and borderline antisocial you one the contrary seemed to not take things seriously, constantly taunting him and the other stuff and with a permanent sarcastic tone in your voice voice.
Of course at first he didn't like you much, and to be fair you didn't make it easy. Everything he said refering to the experiments was refuted by your obsession to keep a mildly stable mental health in the subject.
Dr Harley sighed heavily looking your way with an annoyed look- What now?- he asked
If you keep treating the subjects like that your are going to break them.-you said in the observation room with him while you were both supervising experiment 1355, a young girl turned into a smiley unicorn.
They're toys, they can be fixed easily- he responded as if he had repeated you that phrase for the 11th time (he did)
You know what I mean Sawyer, they are of no use if their minds break-you explained with a calm smile- or have you forgotten what kind of problems an unstable subject could bring?- your asked him, your question mocking him.
It turned out well with Yarnaby or have you forgotten Dr/Dra (Y/L/N)?- he said imitating your question
You laughed slowly- ah yes the kid you isolated as your pet, great example Dr-
Harley Sawyer was well know for working alone, he didn't like others company and whenever he got an assistant or a guard, he scared them off by being authoritarian or exposing them to dangerous situation. You were the only one at the company who actually could keep up with him.
In the interviews with the children you would lead the conversation while Harley observed and took notes. In the laboratory you were more of an assistant, helping the Dr with whatever tool he needed or just preparing the chemicals.
Even though he hated to admit it, his experiments have been more controlable and causing less troubles since you started working together.
You would be unbothered by the kids, showing enough compassion for them to not recognise you as a threat, but showing not an ounce of regret in your eyes while seeing how Harley turned them into toys.
Do I have to remind you that compassion is useless in this job?- Sawyer said while closing a wound he had made on the experiment while operating
You haven't realised how much time have passed since your prior conversation have ended. It was strange for the doctor to initiate them, usually preferring silence but you weren't complaining.
Compassion can make a person go through great lengths- you said- But I understand that in this line of work it's nothing but a limit, a wall that needs to be broken in order to obtain results.-
For once in a long time both you and Harley agreed on something.
He finally stopped sewing the toys fresh wound and started reading the inform you had redacted about the psychological profile of the child before the operation- you should do another one once she wakes up (Y/L/N)- he reminded you while reading the little notes and highlights you left about her.
You always reserved a space the paper work to express your personal opinions on the experiment and Harley always read them. It's another thing he started doing, considering your opinions and advice as something worth of noticing.
-Doc...-
-Sawyer...-
-Sawyer??...-
-HARLEY!!-
He looked at you not noticing how he had spaced out of his mind for a moment while reading your report.
What is it?- he asked actually surprised that he was actually distracted enough to not hear you.
I was asking you about the experiment 1322, Doey. How are the three conscience developing? are they getting used to they're new body?-you asked. Doey was your favourite experiment so far, it was the one you have showed more interest in and your involvement with him was way bigger than with others. Sawyer didn't understood your fascination with Doey.
Since you both started developing the project, you had shown special interest in the idea of three people combined in a toy. In fact, the reason you had starting working more time with the doctor was because of your eagerness to see how the experiment would turn out.
You have become much more comfortable with one another, even after years of coexisting with each other in the lower levels of Playtime.
Sometimes he would catch himself looking at you while you were with the kids in the interviews. He observed your calm demeanor through the crystal of the observation room. He could see how the children grew more confortable with you while you were joking.
The cognitive abilities of the toys were improving each day thanks to your work so of course the bosses permitted you both to perform as many experiments as needed.
Another thing Harley noticed about the last week's was how you would spend most of your time testing and conversing with 1322. He had grown so used to your presence that it was getting harder to work without you present.
He would never admit that he missed your sarcastic comments about the designs of the toys or how he missed to call you a germ, his germ, whenever you were getting to annoying.
Sometimes when you went to the cafeteria upstairs to get some coffee or a sandwich to eat, you would get him something too.
You haven't brought anything recently and that was because of your new obsession.
He finally finished the last transformation successfully, now the only thing left was for the experiment to wake up and for you to examine them.
Harley wandered through the corridors searching for the one room he knew you would be in, this time, he was the one bringing you a coffee.
He watched you through the crystal of the observation room. You always insisted on talking face to face with Doey. The mass of doe seemed calmer with you around. The two more peaceful personalities of Doey talked to you, voicing their regrets and fears. Though the violent part of the creature always seemed reluctant to talk to you. Not responding what was asked of him or simply not responding at all.
Dra/Dr ( Y/L/N), your presence is required in the observation room number 29- Sawyer interrupted your conversation. Doey seemed afraid for a moment only to turn his expression into an angry one. With a gesture of your hand you calmed him down and signaled silently for Harley to turn on the ice so the doe wouldn't scape.
You exited the room to find your coworker handing you a cup of coffee. You looked at him with a raised brow but accepted it either way.
Well, look who it is.-you said with satisfied grin- I thought you were supervising Yarnaby?- you commented
Yes I was, are you aware of how much time you spend with that... Mass?- he said with contempt- what's so fascinating about him anyways? He's only been trouble.
You're only trouble as far as I'm aware- he rolled his eyes you sipped again- he's a time bomb and I want to be there to see it explode- you finally responded- I want to be the germ that makes him mutate.
Germ... It's a fitting name for you- he laughed with a smooth voice.-
You both stayed silent in the middle of the room, he looked at you calmly while you ended your coffee. He was looking at you trough his glasses without blinking, with his tired eyes.
You looked back at him and when you realised he had his fist raised at you, brushing with his tumb the remaining coffee right next to your upper lip.
Neither of you realised how close you where, the dim light of the room illuminated both of your bodies. Yours against the door and his right in front of you, your external layers of clothing touching lightly.
He got even closer, feeling his breath against your own. His thumb caressing your cheek
He thought about everything that had happened recently. How Pierre and the ones closer to him had started to go against you both in the semanal meeting with the executives regarding the experiments. Pierre's demands being met by your indifference, claiming that you will keep securing the experiments as much as possible.
The doctor remembered how you, just as him, were completely devoted to the project. He had became paranoic for the past months. More irritable, unwilling to socialise with someone who wasn't you or the toys
He got even closer to you, he though he heard you whisper his name. You closed the gap between the both of you. Hands on his shoulders
Lip against lip, his hand still in your face. You felt that Harley was the only human you could trust down here. No one understood you like he did. Your desperation to contribute to humanity, your desire of achieving a more lasting body. One that could endure more.
If you ever shared this with anyone else, you'll probably be in trouble.
Your closeness with Harley and his with you was out of understanding, a feeling of trust and comfortability that had just materialised thought he kiss you were sharing with each other.
He slowly pulled apart, his breathing uneven and one of his locks of hair misplaced a slight smile on his face. His forehead touched yours and he whispered just above your lips- My germ~
Only if you knew... That exact same day Harley Sawyer would be reduce no nothing more than a system, a screen, a conscience.
At the mercy of playtimes desires while you... Well ... Your whereabouts were unknown, even though they knew you didn't get out of the building.
Somewhere... hiding between wires and toy corpses...
I'm in love with the voice of the doctor AKA Harley Sawyer.
My drawing of Harley Sawyer:
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nymphomatique · 1 day ago
Text
gold star student
professor!logan howlett x fem!reader
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⋆·˚ ༘ * one bad grade is one too many, so you ask one professor logan howlett, phd. for some extra credit after class. inspired by this art.
cw: reader lowkey has undiagnosed adhd, u want that cookie so effing bad, oral (m & f), praise, some degradation, swearing (it’s logan), shaky power dynamics so it can be considered dub-con, non specific age gap, college aged reader, logan puts stickers on your face while you blow him, face slapping, semi-public sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up!!), finger sucking, spitting on the pussy, grey streak logan cause if he ain’t greying im not staying!!!, this is just me being horny idk what else to say i’m sorry yall
wc: 8k
❤︎ a/n: this was…. a labour of love to say the least. i hate the ending but fuck it we ball. enjoy <3
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Ever since you were a child, anything and everything that had to do with academia had been the bane of your existence. Sitting at a desk for eight odd hours in a day wasn’t only grossly unappealing to you, but a mental challenge as well. You had found it hard to grasp onto concepts and new materials as well as the other kids, unable to focus on whatever spiel of the day your teacher went on about and still found yourself struggling in higher education. From kindergarten, to elementary, to middle school, to high school, up until now in your college years, you find that not only has your attention deficit gotten worse, but so has your motivation in academia in general. 
A floater student is what you would consider yourself, showing up to class once in a blue moon, rather busying yourself with doom scrolling in your dormitory or shopping off campus at the mall, only showing up during exam time and barely passing. your prognosis would be one of the many hyperactive disorders, but you never bothered to diagnose yourself officially. In high school, your parents didn’t make a huge deal of your grades, thanking a graceful god out there that you even got your diploma to begin with. At this age however, with tens of thousands of dollars being poured into your tuition, your mother and father have seemed to coil up even tighter in terms of frustration with your nonchalant attitude towards school. 
A report card from your fall semester riddled with C’s and D’s, emboldened and italicized as if to taunt you silently, was the final straw, the cussing you received was enough for a lifetime. At your parents' discretion, before the start of the semester you consulted with your academic advisor in suggestion of a course schedule that wasn’t a twelve hour day, and professors who would accommodate you with in the case of your late assignments and missing homework. 
All classes but one would be easy- you had been told. Your world history class and its professor had been the only one where you had been saddled with a hardball teacher, rate my professor describing one Logan Howlett, teacher of Modern World History in the Context of Classic Literature, as a man with a foul mouth and harsh grading asshole— with an excellent curriculum but horrible grade weighting, as described by your fellow student body, the mandatory attendance and participation accounting for twenty percent of your grade alone pulling a groan from you as your laptop screen stares back at you, the blue light emitting from it seemingly silently taunting you with the course course outline. Get used to looking at my screen. Three hours in an auditorium, every Wednesday and Friday for twelve weeks at nine in the morning with this douchebag.
You mentally prepare yourself for the exhaustion of the upcoming semester, shutting your laptop closed with a huff of annoyance before laying in bed, mentally preparing yourself for this seemingly infamous professor Howlett.
After a rather inadequate night of sleep, a zero sugar monster energy (gotta give in for the sake of your health where you can) and a double shot latte, you feel something that briefly resembles yet still distant from awake, you find yourself struggling to get comfortable in the stiff chairs in your lecture room. You’re glad you tucked yourself away in a seat in the corner, four rows back from the front, embarrassed that your peers are silently mocking your struggle. 
It’s some odd minutes to nine on the dot, and you’re rather proud of yourself for being able to make it minutes early rather than stumbling in twenty minutes late like you’re prone to doing. Face resting on your hand, cheek squishing your right eye closed, your left eye flits around the room to the other people present, and you wonder if anyone else is stuck in your current situation: burnt out student who didn’t have a choice but to take this class at the least convenient time possible, simply for your graduation credits. Unfortunate kismet, you think, if anybody else in this room also had the privilege to have been born with the unlucky gene you possess. 
Your eyes are heavy, the seconds tickering away at the speed of minutes, and you can’t help it when the last open eye you have flutters close. You hum to yourself, relishing at the feeling of finally being able to rest some more. the quiet shuffling of your classmates feet and the soft scrapings of their chairs, clock ticking so quietly that it barely registers in your mind. The ambient noise is like a blanket to you. It’s not more than five minutes, just a micro nap— you tell yourself, counting the seconds of each minute down silently. 45, 44, 43, 42, what minute is this?, 30, 29, 28, so tired, 22, 21, time to sleep…
Your eyes shoot open when you hear the auditorium door slam shut, blinking away softly the sleep in your eyes. your heart sinks for a minute and panic sets in— did you sleep through the whole class? On the first fucking day? You look around, eyes wide, and immediately sigh in relief when you’re greeted with a full hall. Conversely, you see everyone’s attention to the front of the class with materials out, so you trail your eyes to the front of the room and that’s when you see him, finally. Not his face yet, the wide expanse of his back and tail of his coiffed head facing you all instead. Your eyes trail down his body to his feet, clad in a pair of black combat boots, you can’t help but quirk up and eyebrow, bootcut jeans that seem to be worn in well, seemingly like they’re tailored to his long, very legs, then you see his jacket, which now you catch in time to see him taking it off to reveal a black t-shirt underneath and your breath hitches a bit. You can only see his triceps flexing as he maneuvers his jacket off, but you can just tell he’s covered in rippling muscle, his arms straining against the fabric of his shirt. You can’t help but wonder what he looks like, wondering if his face is as captivating as the rest of him. Your eyes flit over to the girl sitting two seats down from you, and you can’t help but smile a little at her expression, teeth chewing her bottom lip and eyes widened slightly and blinking in slow flutters, seemingly thinking the same things about this Professor Logan Howlett as you are; He’s obscenely sexy even though I haven’t even seen his face.
When you focus your attention back to the front, your face warms immediately upon finally seeing his– Professor Howlett’s face and fuck, you feel stupid for even thinking that he wouldn’t be even a fraction of attractive. His hair, oh god his hair, styled as if he just rolled out of bed and ran his hands through it once, maybe twice even, streaked with gray at his temples, peppering down into his sideburns and disappearing in his scruffy beard. His eyes are an enrapturing shade of hazel, almost brown, almost green, you squint a little to see the mix of hues better, cursing yourself for sitting so far away. His nose, button-like yet poses so masculine at the same time. His lips look so soft and kissable, framed perfectly by his facial hair as if it’s screaming at you to kiss there, to taste each other, let your tongues touch and whisper your deepest secrets to one another-
Gravelly and deep, his voice rouses you from your rather indulgent fantasy. “Good morning. Lively bunch this semester,” he quips and a quiet wave of laughter reverberates and echoes around you. Your chest tightens at the sound of his voice and you want to smack yourself silly for it. “Gonna spare you all the pointless introductions n’ ice breaking crap, yeah? We’ll go over the syllabus and get this show on the road.”
He’s curt, forward, doesn’t bite his tongue, you deduce. Not the jackass his reviews seem to pin him as, though it’s only the first class. They didn’t seem to mention how ruggedly handsome he was as well, you think and pull your lips taut as Professor Howlett, continues to read off the syllabus. Two essays, three quizzes, and a final reading comprehension exam. Attendance is mandatory Your eyes quickly flit to the back of your skull as he reads off that point. No makeups. No late work. No excuses. 
You feel your heart hammer in your chest a little, a sense of anxiety bubbling up in you at how much this class demands. It’s nerve wracking, super fucking discouraging to say the least given your track record, but you know you have no other choice but to commit fully and pass this class, so help your parents. You suppose you can find the motivation in a hot professor and at the very least, make an effort to roll out of bed and be presentable on the days you show up to his class. You exhale softly, hearing the shuffling of books and closing laptops to rouse you from your thoughts. 
“And don’t forget, first five chapters of tulip fever for next class,” his voice booms in the auditorium, fighting with the noise of students desperate to leave and head to their next class or back to their rooms. You flit your eyes towards your professor, arms crossed and muscles bulging against his shirt, casually leaned against his desk. His eyes meet yours for a moment and your breath hitches immediately. His brow quirks at you silently and you’re sure you might disintegrate on spot. You feel your face heat up and you break away the eye contact to rush out of the lecture, both exhausted and perpetually embarrassed, not having enough energy to handle feeling both. In your haste, you miss the way Logan's lip quirks up for a split second at you, rushing out the door with Tulip Fever and streaks of grey on your mind. 
You find you can’t keep your modern history professor off the brain since leaving the lecture hall that wednesday, ever so flustered. You thought about his thick arms back at your dorm, and how they might feel wrapped around you in a warm embrace. You thought about those graying temples, and the picture it would paint with his head between your thighs. You thought about him in your humanities class as your professor droned on about morality and its many philosophical perspectives, but you tune her voice out and think of his instead, wondering what it would sound like whispering sweet nothings in your ear. The level of yearning you’ve reached is bound to get you in trouble, hell it’s gotten you in trouble already— completely neglecting to finish the first five chapters of Tulip Fever like Professor Howlett had assigned, losing yourself in the work from your other classes. Friday had snuck up on you and you smacked your forehead for being so forgetful, the beginnings of discourage and a knot forming in your stomach. I’m a failure, I suck at this, I should drop out, I’m such a fucking idiot.
The thought of letting down a man you barely know has you berating yourself even further. You need to get a grip and quickly— he’s your teacher for God's sake. You suck in a breath, finding yourself sat in the same lecture hall your vivid fantasies found themselves being born in, laptop open as you’re frantically reading the Sparknotes summary minutes before class is set to start. Today, you chose a seat in the second row, still far off to the right side. You weren’t sure you could stay coherent with his gaze on you so heavy.  You tell yourself you picked this spot for a better learning experience, closer seats meaning less of a chance you fall prey to your fantasies, but deep down beyond the denial you knew better than to convince yourself of a lie like that. You sat upfront because you wanted to see Professor Howlett better, to pinpoint the hues of his eyes you couldn’t make out yesterday from so far behind. You wanted to trail your eyes up and down his muscular frame, taking snapshots of the hair on his forearms, the freckles on his thick knuckles, the veins trailing his big hands—
“Good morning, everyone,” a gruff voice speaks and you feel a ball of energy sits itself deep in your stomach, it’s him. You've missed the deep baritone of his voice, you realize. “Hope you all read up the chapters, yeah? We’ll be discussing ‘em today, and I am the asshole who picks on students to participate.” There’s a soft wave of grumbles from some, but your panic is quiet and you hope to a God in heaven somewhere that he doesn’t pick you, god knows you barely retained any information from your flash round of Sparknotes earlier.
“Like any book, the first few chapters were mostly exposition, character and scene setting stuff. Tell me, what does Sophia’s marriage and lack of heir signify to us in these times?” Professor Howlett asks, and you immediately avert your gaze to the grooves and scratches in the table in front of you. Please don’t pick me, please don’t pick me, please please please— “Yeah, you,” your head snaps up, heart hammering in your chest when you see him nod his head at some girl, some girl with too much fucking chest out, you spit, her hand raised high and smile plastered across her smug little face. Your brows pull together and you barely contain the urge to roll your eyes at her enthusiasm. 
“Thank you, Professor,” This fucking bi- “I think that- that while Cornelius and Sophia are often representative of the way marriage was a lot of the times something more transactional, her being unable to have a kid being a main problem- shows how a lot of times a marriage with no evidence of, um, consummation, is seen as practically null and void.” Your fist tenses against the desk at her answer.
“Little long winded, but yeah, good job..?” his voice lilts off, and you smile a bit knowing he doesn’t even remember her name. “Oh, um, Amber,” she sputters out. He nods at her response and continues asking questions about the book. You feel a little bad as class progresses, your unprovoked and unwarranted jealousy towards another woman over a man who’s simply an authority figure to you both, no matter how attractive, makes you cringe. What is he doing to you? 
“Good answers, guys. Glad you all did more than skim the book,” Professor Howlett muses, turning his back to face you all as he digs through his briefcase. You take this time to admire how broad his back looks, draped in a black polo shirt today that practically has you drooling. “The rest of you I didn’t pick on today aren’t unscathed unfortunately,” he says, a hint of amusement in his voice. He turns around and presents the stack of papers between his large hands to you all and he smirks, “Pop quiz.” 
A myriad of groans come crashing from all over the lecture hall right down to your ears and you silently join, hands falling down against your desk. You sincerely hope these weren’t going to be graded, praying that Professor Howlett possesses some sense of apologeticness, knowing that the definite zero percent you’d get on this would completely fuck over your overall average for the rest of the semester, subsequently giving your parents ample reason to rip you a fucking brand new one. 
Row by row, he passes a stack of papers for each student to pass down and he stops in front of you, seeing as you so conveniently sat at the end of the second row. “Nervous?” he asks, brow quirked and smug fucking look on his face as you look up at him. You quirk your eyebrow right back at him, “Hardly.” A group of papers fall in front of you and he breathes out a laugh, leaving you to pass papers to the next row. You lied like shit, you were insanely nervous, knowing you hadn’t retained a lick of information from your mini crash course nor the class’ discussion prior.
“No tech, no cheating. You guys know the drill, don’t make me catch you and have to chew you out. Twenty minutes and I’m picking ‘em up.” Logan says, walking down the aisle and back to his desk, his hulking frame leaning against his desk and his arms crossed up against his chest so tight that his biceps practically bulge out of his shirt. Or maybe, he’s just that toned, that any movement, minuscule or major, would have him threatening to rip out of his clothes. You’re practically fighting yourself in your seat, tearing your eyes away from his thick arms and heavy pectorals and down to your paper. 
It’s one page, front and back, ten questions. It wouldn’t be so bad had you actually read the book, considering you can’t even remember the name of the main character in the book. You bite your lip, trying so hard to rack your brain for something that resembles a coherent answer to these questions that will give you at least a 75%, knowing it wouldn’t skew your grade average completely off. What does Maria’s role stand to symbolize in the context of 1600’s Amsterdam?. You clench your  fist so hard around your pen you’re almost amazed that it doesn’t break under the pressure. You didn’t even remember a Maria in the book.
Twenty minutes of writing later, grasping at straws for potential points that would make you feel better than getting a big fat zero on your first quiz in this class, in his class, you’re walking to his desk to place your quiz in a pile with the rest of your peers, just as he’d instructed. You kept your eyes down the entire time, feeling too embarrassed to look at him after that silly excuse for banter you had attempted earlier. Hardly. Yeah fucking right. 
After your quiz, you had been dismissed from class, and you felt the anxiety set in almost immediately. The phone call you had with your parents that weekend over your classes and grades so far only worsened, the stern and subtly implied threat of coming back home to learn at a local college looming silently above you if you didn’t keep your grades up. You had obviously avoided mentioning the pop quiz you had, choosing not to set them ablaze at the mention of the fact that you most definitely failed that pop quiz. The stress of your grades instilled a new found productivity in you, in which you took initiative to read ahead of the assigned chapters and annotate as well as take notes for your modern history class, hoping to be prepared next time he’d ask a question. Your stomach churns at the thought of his praise, Good answer. Very good, kiddo. Like that idea. you imagined he’d say to you. You bite your lip as you study your western civilization notes, maybe he’d even indulge in you, call you his good girl, his good little student, something that Amber would never have above you. 
Monday and Tuesday went by uneventfully, as you completed your labs and started on your assignments when assigned. Tuesday night however, you had been anxious almost, or maybe excited— you weren’t sure, but you did know you wanted to be prepared for this class, to prove to Professor Howlett that you could handle his class, show him that you wouldn’t let him chew you up and spit him out so easily. You took the time before bed on that Tuesday to prepare your books in your bag, organize your notes, and even pick out an outfit, neatly folding it and leaving it on your desk chair. Grades be damned, you were beyond ready to prove everyone wrong, yourself included. 
You sat in the front row again, enraptured in the world of Tulip Fever, but really you would rather focus on Professor Howlett. He was all you thought about these days, especially at night when it was only you and the dark of your dorm to entertain you before bed. You hear a giggle next to you and you snap your head to the direction of the noise. Amber. A deep rumble sounds in front of you, someone clearing their throat. You look forward again and see your professor and your face heats up. “Welcome back to earth, sweetheart,” he muses, humour painted all over his face. Your eyes widen at the pet name he’s given you and you feel like sinking into your seat. “I need you here next time, yeah? Not in that pretty little head of yours,” he says, quiet enough so only you and the front two rows can hear. Your head spins. Pretty. He called you pretty. He continues his lecture like nothing else happened, leaving you dazed at his affection. His eyes flit to you briefly and he smiles, before walking back to the front of the class. 
Little moments like these pepper themselves throughout your lectures with Profess Howlett in between the assignments and lectures and raised hands. You’d catch him looking at the juncture of your breasts sometimes as you wore low cut tops, his lilting voice calling you precious pet names, sweetheart, kiddo, sweets. They all have your face warming. Heated gazes, stolen smiles, one off banter, you were convinced you were being delusional. One particular moment after class where you had asked for details on an assignment had you reeling for days. You went up to him after class to ask your question. His face was insanely close, you could smell the mint off his breath from the gum he was chewing during the lecture, feel his words fan your face, deep rumblings and focused glares as you were only inches away from his face. His lips, oh God his lips… so close, so soft looking, so pink, you had been so caught up in him the entire time. And he had noticed, his fingers coming up to your chip to raise your gaze. He did it wordlessly, eyeing you as you eyed him. His look daring you to say something. Challenge me. I dare you. But you didn’t— you couldn’t, you had tried to focus on something else, his musky woodsy scent, his greying stubble, anything, as he continued to explain your question to you. You walked out of his class that day with jello for legs, replaying the moment in your mind. 
Next class you had seen him he had given the assignments back, adorned with little gold stars on those who had grades higher than a B minus. Your paper had come back to you with an A minu, a little gold star next to your grade. “Boosts morale,” had been Logan’s explanation when a student had asked why the gold star. You smiled. Cute. 
You had felt like you finally found your groove, despite the hiccup you had at the beginning. Your first test of the semester approached, and you weren’t nervous, in fact you showed up to class early, getting a chance to get a good spot and watch Professor Howlett walk in and begin setting up. You had waved, a meek good morning in your own words and he returned a wink back. Your insides tugged at themselves. He had waltzed over to you in your seat, starting up conversation. “Nervous?” he asks, curt and short. You smile, “Hardly,” using your own words once more. “I’m gunning on a gold star. I studied extra hard.” Professor Howlett hums, smile on his face. “I look forward to seeing your work. I enjoy reading it,” he says. He leaves you with those words as he walks back to his desk, more students beginning to pepper in the classroom as the test hour approached. You had been so sure you did excellent on your test, studying for days and days beforehand. So when you got back your test, a C Minus staring back at you with a gut wrenching empty space next to your grade right where a star would be. Tears prick your eyes as you look at the grade, feeling so disappointed in yourself. This couldn’t be. It just couldn’t.
You had promptly stayed behind after class to speak to him, and it seemed like Amber had the same idea, her body close to his as she spoke lowly. She didn’t spare a glance back at you as she spoke to him, hand grazing his bicep as she walked away and past you. Your eyes rolled in your head and you walked up to Professor Howlett next. He’s in the middle of packing up his papers in his bag when you come up to him, and he glances up in acknowledgment before going back to what he’s doing. You breathe out and his brown quirks as he pauses and looks at you. “Yes?” he asks. “I… I would like to see you after class if possible to discuss my grades,” you say, fist curling and uncurling with nerves. ”Tomorrow afternoon come see me at my office,” he says, arms crossing. “Don’t be late. Don’t get your hopes up either,” he quirks. You chew your lip before sighing. “I’ll be there. On time.” 
And true to your word, you showed up promptly and on time. Your heart was hammering in your chest cavity so hard you felt like it would burst through your ribcage. Your lower lip found itself between your teeth, chewing at it tenderly. You had been staring at the mahogany colored door, finished with a shiny golden plaque, L. Howlett, PHD. carved within the surface of the precious metal. His name posed just as intimidating as he did. You’d been standing in front of his door for almost three minutes now, fingers skimming along the hem of your plaid skirt. The accompanying white tanktop and white cardigan hand made your subconscious intentions loud and clear, as some part of you, a delusional part of you, had hoped this school girl-esque get up would grant you some sort of leniency with Professor Howlett as you begged for him to give you a retake, a makeup assignment, something for God’s sake.
Any moment more of hesitancy and you would be late for your two o’clock appointment time, so you bring your knuckles up to the door to knock, twice in succession, when the door swings open in front of you. Your knuckle is almost met with Amber’s face, her shock seeing you just as evident as hers. She doesn’t let it linger however, as she casts a glance over her shoulder and muses a “Bye Professor. Thank you so much, I’ll see you in class Monday,” before looking back forward and right back at you, holding your gaze as she walks right out the door and past you, making sure her shoulder doesn’t miss yours. You scoff. Bitch. 
“Right on time. Come in,” he gestures, refusing to get up from his comfy looking office chair. As you walk around his office you take in the interior briefly. The mahogany furniture, the lingering smell of cigar smoke, evidence of his nasty habit sitting on top of an ashtray on his desk, the glass bar cart, adorned with various bottles of whiskey and gin, and a mini fridge sitting on its bottom shelf— filled with ice and garnish you assume. You eye his book cabinet, shelves stuffed with various literary titles, old and new, classic and contemporary. You find yourself impressed, but you shouldn’t be, his teaching— albeit rough, brutish sometimes even— is a testament to his passion towards books and literature. You smile a little as you sit down in the foam lined chair in front of his desk. You try not to think of who sat in it before you as you feel the residual warmth of it against your thighs. You take in Professor Logan, black t-shirt and dark blue jeans— casual, but damn if he made it look good. You eyed his arms, veiny and bulging out his shirt, before flickering your attention back to his face, framed by those greying temples you oh so loved.
“So?” He trails, redirecting his attention from his desktop to you. You swallow a little and sigh. “Um, I know that you said no… no retakes or anything, and I understand your answer if it’s a hard no,” you say, pausing to look at him to try and assess what he’s thinking, but you’re simply met with a raised brow and crossed arms as he leans back further in his chair. “But I… I was wondering if- Well, my parents, they said that If I have a grade lower than an A on my report card this semester I had to drop out and transfer locally, and I don’t want to make this a pity story but I… It’s only this class where I’m having trouble. And I know what you said but my last test really fucked my average and I-” your nervous ramblings are cut off by him raising his hand. Your lips clamp and you watch him, waiting for his impending words. He makes you sit in the silence and with your words, instead opening his desk drawer, rifling between what sounds like various loose pens and papers before taking a lighter out. Small, sliver, zippo style and engraved with meticulous swirls. He picks up the already cut cigar out the ashtray, placing it between his pink lips, and lights it— two experimental puffs of smoke floating your way and you get dizzy. 
“You don’t mind?” He asks only now, and you try not to roll your eyes and that façade of chivalry. “No,” you shake your head. “Thought so,” he smiles, smug. He puffs from the cigar once more before he places it down on the glass ashtray once again before he speaks up. “As it stands now if you tighten up for the rest of the semester you can pass my class with a B something, which don’t sound too bad to me, sweetheart.” Your gut twists with tension. A B isn’t what you need. You brows furrow and you open your mouth to speak, but he continues. “I would love to help you sweetheart, trust me I would. But that wouldn’t be fair to all the other students who come waltzing in here dressed just like you, begging for an A,” he drawls, picking up his cigar again and slotting it between his lips before he stands up and your breath hitches. “Wh- dressed like me? I didn’t-” you begin, confused at what he’s implying. Your eyes follow his moving figure, his steps taking him around his desk to the side of your chair, conveniently eye level to his groin. 
“But you did, didn’t you?” he asks softly, thumb coming to your chin to direct your gaze up to his eyes. “I don’t understand…” you murmur, skin beginning to warm at the rather inappropriate contact and position. Your chest heaves up and down beneath your cardigan and he surely notices letting out a soft chuckle. “You’re a smart girl. I’m sure you can put two and two together,” he continues, thumb rubbing softly back and forth against your chin before he drops his hand from you completely. Your eyes drop in sync to his limb, your mind racing a million thoughts a second. But… isn’t this what you wanted? What you needed? What you’ve dreamed of for weeks upon weeks? “Look at me,” he says, stern. And you do. “You listen so well,” he hums and you feel the makings of a fire ignite itself inside you somewhere deep. I’m being good. Good for him. “Kills you inside that you couldn’t get that shiny little sticker, doesn’t it?” he muses, looking down at you with mirth swirling in his eyes. You feel tears spring to your eyes at his words. He sees right through you. It did hurt. All you ever wanted to be was good for him. 
“We can fix that today. Tell you what, you be a good student for me, and I’ll be a good teacher to you, yeah?” he says, taking a puff from his cigar. “Nod your head like a good student.” And you do. Up and down, slowly. Your brain is fuzzy. This surely isn’t happening, is it? It couldn’t be. He walks away and back to his desk, propping his cigar down after asking it. He pushes a pile of papers from his desk, until he finds what he’s looking for. A sticker sheet. What is he…
“C’mere,” Professor Howlett gestures with a finger, simultaneously sitting back on his chair. Your legs are trembling under you as you get up and walk towards his side of the desk. Logan pivots his desk chair to the side as you walk over to him and you find yourself standing between his legs, quiet. “Take that off,” he says, flicking his head towards your cardigan. You let it drop off your shoulder promptly, standing only in your white tank top and plaid skirt. “Kneel,” he says, and you drop immediately. Pathetic. Your hands lay in your laps as you’re sat between his legs on your knees. Your breathing is as laboured as ever. You can’t believe this is happening— something that you spent nights dreaming of. Touching him, tasting him, feeling him. He reaches over to his desk and grabs the sticker sheet of gold stars, a fresh sheet of stars neatly arranged row by row. “You know what to do, don’t you sweetheart?” he asks, palm of his hand running against your face. You nod, reaching forward to the zipper of his dark denim jeans before his palm grabs your hand. “When I ask you somethin’, I want a verbal answer. Y’understand?” he says. Your voice feels caught in your throat. He’s so intense your head is spinning. “Y-yes,” you breathe. “Yes what?” he spits back and your heart hammers. “Y-yes, Sir.”
“Good girl,” he hums. He lets go of your hands, taking a sticker off the sheet and placing a small gold star right next to your left eye. Your face heats up at the praise and you almost let out a breath, but you don’t. Your hands go back to undressing Professor Howlett, fingers deft with his button and zipper. He lifts his hips up and helps you shrug his jeans down until they’re sitting on top of his black combat boots, clad only in black briefs. The heavy tent in his pants makes your eyes go wide but you persist, thinking of your grade on the line. With a tug at his boxer band his dick pops up over the elastic, and you pull down until the full sheath of him is bobbing freely. Your eyes widen a little at the sheer size of him, wondering how he could possibly fit inside your mouth let alone your pussy. He was long, eight inches you’d guess just by looking and insanely thick. He was heavy too— the length of him unable to stand up fully, bobbing haphazardly as he twitched from arousal. You looked up at him, and his gaze was steady. Expectant. You sucked in a shallow breath before grabbing his cock, warm to the touch. Your fingers barely touched. You’re hand jerked up once before Professor Howlett was grabbing your wrist, only to spit on his dick, the string of saliva landing on the shaft. “S’better. Go on,” he encourages, and you do— jerking him a little faster now with his spit lubricant, the sound of his slick skin making your pussy feel warm, wet. You jerk him faster, spitting in the palm of your second hand before you join your other, breasts bouncing up and down as you jerk him. Little grunts leave Logan, and it makes your tummy feel warm. You were making him feel— “Good, just like that, yeah. Use your mouth now,” he moans. You felt intimidated by his size, but you persisted still. You wanted to be his good girl.
You look up at him as your mouth opens, coy like a fish, and you wrap your lips around his tip. He inhales a sharp breath and it gives you some encouragement. Be good. Your head drops lower, lower and lower until your mouth his full and his tip is tickling your uvula, and you gag around him, sputtering spit all over him. You pull off his dick to cough and he chuckles at you. “Let’s try again together, yeah?” You nod, “Yes, Sir.” You reposition yourself, back on your knees in front of him. “Open your mouth and stick your tongue out, open real wide,” he says, tapping your cheek. It felt soft slap more than a tap however. But still, you open your mouth wide, tongue hanging out. “Juuust like that, yeah…” Logan groans, slapping the warmth of his cock on your tongue. “Breath through the nose,” he says, before putting the length of him in your mouth and pulling your head down on him, fist clenched in your hair. He pulls you down deep, further than you managed to reach alone and you gag, spit everywhere, but he pays you no mind. His curses under his breath before standing up out of his seat, your head craning up as his fist pulls at your nape. “Good fuckin’ girl,” he breathes, thrusting his cock in an out of your mouth. Your throat feels rubbed raw, tears pooling in your eyes but you hold on, hands gripping his thighs. “Take it, fucking take it,” he grunts. His hand disappears before placing a sticker on your spit-covered cheek and you whimper around his cock. Logan’s brows pull together and he laughs. “That turn you on? You like being my good little student? You like sucking off your professor?” he laughs, fucking your face with a deep pace. You muffle a Yes, Sir around him as his spit soaked balls slap against your chin and he laughs. Sticker after sticker covers the expanse of your face, a juxtaposition to your debauched mascara-streaked-spit-covered face.
Your throat is raw, but you’re relishing in the attention, the praise, the intensity of it. “One more mouthful, c’mon,” he grunts, pushing your head down even further down his cock and you squeal around him. Your eyes snap shut, focusing on holding your breath as he brings his dick deep down your throat until your nose is buried in his greying pubes. “So fucking nasty,” he drawls, deep groan leaving his chest. “Take it, be good and take it,” he says breathless, before he’s spitting his cum down your throat, leaving you no choice but to swallow his bitter semen. Your eyes wretch open lowly, watch Logan’s face contort in pleasure as he finishes in your throat and you whimper, squeezing his thighs tightly. “Good student,” he coos, pulling his cock from your mouth and it’s a relief that’s long overdue. Your first unobstructed breath is a deep one, and you’re slightly dizzy from the oxygen after having it restricted for so long. You don’t think about it for long before a hand is pulling you up off the floor, and before you know it, lips are on yours, tongue finding tongue. Your eyes close by themselves and you melt into the kiss, Professor Howlett’s lips soft against yours, but kissing you so roughly. Your arms grip his biceps, desperate for something to hold onto, anything to steady yourself with. 
The kiss breaks and your mind feels hazy. Your eyes open and you see Professor Howlett staring back at you, hands roaming your body. “Pr-professor…” you moan out after a particularly hard squeeze at your ass. “Logan, baby,” he says, kissing your lips once in a peck, and again as a sloppy embrace, his tongue swirling in your mouth and you keen into him. His hands pull at the back of your thighs and you jump up in his arms, wrapping your arms around his thick neck. He walks you a few paces, still stuck in an embrace, until he puts on you down on his desk. He breaks the kiss between you two before pulling the front of your tank top down, revealing your breasts to him, nipples pert. He wastes no time kissing and licking your chest, and you throw your head back in a silent moan. He sucks on your nipples for a minute, pinching and toying with your breast until your chest is heaving and nipples are raw. “What a sight for me,” Logan hums, and you feel shy under him like this. “Lean back and spread your legs f’me,” he says low, kneeling as you do as he asks. He’s eye level with your pussy, only covered by your skirt and white panties. He lifts the plaid fabric up and groans, the little wet spot of your pussy a delectable sight. 
Logan leans forward and licks the wet gusset of your panties and you let out a shuddering moan. “P-please, Logan…” you breath, too wound up to wait. He smirks and indulges in you, pliant and needy. He hooks a finger in the crotch of your panties and pulls them to the side, hurrying his face into your wet and waiting pussy. It’s an enrapturing feeling, having him suck and lick and taste your clit and folds like this, groaning into you and he praises you for having such a sweet fuckin’ pussy, baby. He sucks your clit roughly, before pulling back to spit on your pussy, rubbing his nose against your clit before flattening his tongue against your gushing slit once again. The streaks of grey between your thighs sends blood rushing downwards to the center of your arousal and you can’t help but run your hands through his salt and pepper hair. He licks and tongues you until your legs go numb, teasing your orgasm from you time and time again until you’re nearly in tears for him, ready to cum.
 “Please Lo- Sir. Please, Sir. Wanna cum, I’ll be good. Just-” your begging is cut short as two thick fingers push themselves in you and you throw your head back at the stretch. “You’re gonna come for me in a little, sweetheart. Be good for now,” Logan coos, kissing your inner thighs. You’re heaving as he curls and scissors his fingers inside you in a way that feels so unfairly good that tears begin to streak down your face, gold stickers peeling and falling off your damp skin; scattering down on the desk and falling on your chest. “G-gonna… Oh my God, Sir,” you squeal, just about ready to… Until his fingers deftly leave you. Before you can whine about this, Logan’s thick fingers covered in your slick push into your mouth and you groan. “Hush, baby. You’re about to feel real good in a little,” Logan hums, rubbing his cock, now hard again, up and down your wet and sensitive pussy, the head of him hitching your clit so good it hurts. His fingers leave your mouth. “Beg for it.” And you do. You’re a babbling mess under him. “Inside, p-put it inside me, Professor,” you moan, and Logan's resolve snaps, thrusting into you in one fluid movement.
You see stars, no pun intended, at the stretch of him. Your stomach feels full and you shudder, laying back down against the desk. “Tightest, sweetest fucking pussy I ever felt,” Logan coos, fingers pushing back into your mouth. His unoccupied hand grabs your leg and throws it over his shoulder and he begins to thrust in and out of you, knocking the wind out of you with every push in and out. Your intermittent moans turn into a symphony of cries as his pace increases and he’s fucking into you at a brutal speed. Your hands are grasped around the wrist of his hand that’s by your mouth, sucking his fingers to soothe the burning part of the pleasure. “That’s it, fucking take it,” he grunts, pushing your leg from around his should back until your knee was touching your shoulder. The new angle made the pleasure unbearable, every movement rubbing against your g-spot. Your eyes begin to close, your body shutting down seemingly as you begin to enter a pleasure comatose, the bubbling pleasure, the fingers in your mouth, it all feels like too much. But Logan doesn’t let you stay in that place for too long, his fingers leaving your mouth to slap your cheek, pulling back down. “I need you right here, know it feels good but I want you with me,” he says breathy, thrusts still never faltering. 
Without his fingers in your mouth your moans are free to be heard, your incoherent babbles of “s’too much,” and “so deep in me, sir,” floating in the air between Logan’s heavy breaths and obscene curses. You’re breasts jump with every thrust in you, your head bouncing up and down from the sheer force of his thrusts. “T-Tell me…” you stutter out, eyes fluttering. “Tell you?” he asks, grinding his hips up and deep, and you’re sure he’s grazing your cervix. You grip his t-shirt and keel. He gets what you mean. “Good girl. My good girl. You’re the best girl. You want another star, don’t you?” he breathes out, a hand moving down to your clit as he thrusts up and out, up and out into you. You whimper, his words and ministration’s overwhelming, “Yes, Sir. M’good. So good. W-want it. Please, can I have it?” you babble. You belly feels warm, and the heat bubbles with every brush at your swollen clit and thrust in your pussy. He lets go of the hand at your knee, spreading you open to grab a sticker from the sticker sheet. “Stick your tongue out f’me,” and you do, overwhelmed with this moment. You’re being good. You’re being good. You’re almost there, keep being good. He spits in your mouth and you moan holding it there and waiting for him to tell you what to do. “Swallow it,” he huffs, thrusts faltering. He’s close, you deduce. I don’t want it to end. Please don’t let it end. You swallow and stick your tongue back out to show him and he groans.
He puts the star sticker on your tongue, and he thrusts in you harder, tweaking at your clit as he does. Your body seizes and you melt into a fit of moans and grunts, and you finally cum, Logan fucking you through it. “Yeah baby, just like that. Kneel for me,” he says, pulling out of you. You lay up off the desk and fall promptly to your knees, watching him jerk himself to orgasm above you with your tongue out, gold star on the middle of your tongue. He grunts with deep Fuck! before warm ropes of cum spray your partially sticker-covered face and tongue. Your eyes close and you hum, relishing in the warmth. Logan wipes the cum from your eyes with his thumb and sticks it in your mouth, and you suck, no questions asked. “Good fucking girl.” 
The moments following are awkward. Logan tucks himself back in his pants, and pulls his jeans up and you’re left laying on the floor, coming down from your ecstasy high. The zip of his jeans breaks the silence and you’re looking up at him, soiled with cum, spit, stickers, tears and mascara. He walks to his bar cart and grabs the cloth hanging off the handle bar, and he hands it to you. You clean yourself up, and when you’re done you find his cardigan in his hands. You fix your tank top back over your breasts and pull the crotch of your panties back into place before grabbing it from him. “Thanks,” you say quietly. “See you in class on Tuesday,” is the last thing he says to you before you leave his office. Stunned.
On Tuesday, he hands you back your test with a new grade, an eighty, and gold sticker placed on it right next to the new grade. He glances at you as you look over your test, and smirks. You read the note he left in red ink on the back of the test, heart beating a little faster once you look back up at him. Good girl. 
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ittybittyfanblog · 1 day ago
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Error 404: (Self-Aware!AU, Sylus Edition) – Pt. 10
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Summary: A LADS self-aware!AU featuring Sylus and a player. That’s it, that’s the plot. Tags: player!reader x sylus, fem!reader x sylus, reader x lads, self-aware!au, strong language, family issues, generational trauma, self-growth, personal issues (and dealing with it), hurt and comfort, hmmmm…. let’s leave it at that for now :) A/N: Final chapter, guys! Thanks so much for reading <3
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Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Pt. 3 - Pt. 4 - Pt. 5 - Pt. 6 - Pt. 7 - Pt. 8 - Pt. 9 - Pt. 10
“Oh, what the hell—since when do you cook?”
“Bitch,” you laugh, nudging past them, the ceramic pot still steaming in your hands. “Do you want the risotto or not?”
The scent of garlic and pecorino permeates the air as you stand in front of the small foyer of the duplex where your friend—questionable, at the moment—lives. Your most recent culinary masterpiece, deemed safe (enough) for public consumption, rests between your hands in silent offering to the skeptic figure who’s barring you from crossing the threshold. 
It’s still warm, and you’re not one to brag, but you think you’ve outdone yourself with this one. Not that it matters—everybody’s a fucking critic these days.
“Risotto?” Khol parrots in disbelief. “You don’t show up in forever, suddenly you’re all cuoca straordinario or some shit. Get out of here with your Mario ass–”
“Don’t mind them,” Anna interjects from behind your biggest hater, all cheer as she plucks the pot from your hands. “This smells amazing, actually. Come in!”
With that, she vanishes inside, leaving you and Khol alone in the doorway. You give them a knowing look.
“Oh wow,” you remark, all mock surprise. “You live together now?”
Khol rolls their eyes, already tired of you. “You missed the biggest arc of the last five months, but yeah.”
You step inside, and right away, something feels… different. It could partly be due to how much time has passed since you last visited, and it’s clearly still their place—the brooding industrial-emo aesthetic remains intact, still suspiciously close to resembling the lair of an angsty comic book antihero on acid—but it’s been overtaken by bits of boho-chic scattered all over the space.
Where there was once nothing but charcoal, vinyl, and concrete, there are now textures. Colorful woven throws drape artfully over the arm of the leather Eames sofa they won off a Craigslist bid. Tasseled pillows have multiplied across every seat surface like some kind of fabric-based contagion, while pothos vines dangle lazily from macramé hangers, stretching towards the moody Edison bulbs like they’re trying to escape the existential crisis of living here.
And then there’s the rug. Oh god, the rug. 
A comically massive tufted ‘Flower Power’ rug sprawls across the center of the room, a swirling explosion of pinks and oranges—a final, cutesy fuck you to the apartment’s formerly depressing atmosphere before Khol’s new roommate staged her cheerful coup.
It should’ve been a hilarious sight, like a chaotic school art project where every kid picked a different medium to color and refused to compromise. But somehow… it works? 
Against all odds, the goth cryptid and the hippie gremlin have found domestic equilibrium.
“Love what you did with the place, Anna,” you call out, toeing off your shoes at the door. “It doesn’t look like a twelve-year-old’s fantasy bedroom anymore.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Khol laughs, shaking their head. “As if you’re one to talk. Last time I visited, you still had that stupid-ass sofa. Is it still there?”
You sniff haughtily. “Excuse you, but that’s a custom piece. You wouldn’t get it.”
"Alright, you two," Anna says, leaning against the archway between the living room and kitchen, one hip propped against the frame. "Both of you have terrible taste in decor. Now, I have a fabulous Prosecco to pair with the risotto." She tilts her head, shooting her partner a pointed look. "Khol, darling, be a dear and grab the crystal from the cupboard?"
"Whipped," you sing as Khol, predictably, does exactly as told. They don’t even bother with a comeback, just flashes you a lazy middle finger over their shoulder as they disappear from view.
You grin, shaking your head. The moment stretches into something easy, comfortable. It’s nice—being here, bantering like no time has passed. You let yourself sink into it, tugging off your beanie as you cross the room.
The creaky couch welcomes you like an old friend, and you flop down unceremoniously, stretching your legs out, rubbing your feet against the oversized monstrosity of a rug that is... honestly, pretty fucking comfortable, actually.
Anna follows suit, settling beside you with far more grace, tucking one foot under the other.
She watches you for a moment, expression warm but slightly inquisitive. “We haven’t seen you in a while.” 
You exhale, tipping your head back, staring up at the beams on the ceiling. "Yeah, sorry. Been a little out of it these past… couple of months, I guess."
Anna makes a quiet noise, something between understanding and acknowledgment. "You’re doing okay now?"
The easy answer sits on your tongue—yeah, of course. An automatic response, a reflex built from habit. Another front to put up, another lie to slip behind.
But you’ve been working on this. So instead, you take a breath and say,
"Not… really." 
The words feel foreign, heavy, but oddly freeing as they leave your mouth.
Your gaze flickers to the side table—framed photos of Khol and Anna, smiling, sunlit. You don’t linger.
“I mean, better now compared to, maybe, a few weeks ago. I’m getting there.”
Anna’s brows lift slightly—not in surprise at the sentiment itself, but at the fact that you admitted it out loud. There’s something thoughtful in her expression, something softer around the edges. “Good. That’s good.”
You can tell she means it. Maybe even more than you expected.
"Yeah."
There’s a brief lull. You catch yourself tugging at the edge of your cardigan—a nervous habit you never quite broke. The warmth of the apartment is settling in you quite comfortably, but there’s something about sitting still under Anna’s gentle scrutiny that makes you restless.
From the kitchen, there’s the unmistakable clink of glass, followed by a muffled, “shit.”
Anna exhales, long-suffering. “I don’t know why I even bother buying nice things.”
“‘Oy,” Khol’s voice carries from the other room, “get in here and help. We have, like, seven things to carry.”
You take that as your cue, trailing after Anna into the kitchen. Between the three of you, it’s quick work—bowls of warm, brothy risotto in hand, glasses of white wine balanced carefully between fingers.
By the time you step back into the living room, Khol is already dropping onto the blue accent chair near the window with all the dramatics of someone who’s worked far too hard for far too little.
You settle into your usual spot, Anna beside you. You don’t touch your food. Your appetite’s still in remission, though it’s been steadily improving lately.
Khol notices. “Now, why the hell aren’t you eating?” They shoot you a side-eye like you’ve personally offended them. “I knew it. You put something in this, didn’t you?”
“Jesus, Khol,” Anna sighs, exasperated, already two spoonfuls in. “Your diet was literally gas station burritos and eight-pack Coors before I moved in. You’ll live.”
She pauses, though, casting you a look. “Don’t get me wrong—this is really good.”
“Ha,” you retort as Khol prods suspiciously at a floating mushroom. You glare. “Are you fucking kidding me—”
“Alright, alright.” With an exaggerated sigh, Khol finally takes a bite. They chew once, twice—eyes narrowed in concentration, acting like some hard-ass seasoned judge from Top Chef. You can practically see them digging for something snarky to say��until, begrudgingly, they nod.
“Shit. This is actually pretty good. Who are you?”
You preen at the praise.
For a while, there’s nothing but the quiet clinking of spoons against ceramic, the occasional satisfied hum. It’s… nice. Comfortable in a way you haven’t felt in what feels like forever.
You’ve missed this.
Missed being here. Missed being with people.
Somewhere between the second glass of wine and the last few bites of risotto, Khol angles their head toward you, their curiosity piqued. “How come you’re free today? You on leave or something?”
You swirl the drink in your hand, watching the light catch on the amber surface before answering. “Oh, I quit my job.”
There’s a beat of silence. You don’t know what reaction you were expecting, but Khol just blinks at you. "Huh. Finally."
Anna looks mildly more concerned. "You quit?"
You nod, stretching your legs out beneath the coffee table. “Yeah. The OT was getting ridiculous, and they had me working night shifts again. That was kind of the last straw for me.”
Khol grunts in agreement. “Good fucking riddance. That job was killing you.” They pause for a beat, turning serious, contemplative. “You’re not hung up about it, are you? You’ve been bitching about that job for ages.”
You exhale through your nose, staring at the rim of your glass. “Yeah, no. I’m glad I left.” The words come easily, and they’re mostly true. But still—there’s something about suddenly having all this space, this aimless in-between, that makes you antsy. 
A thought strikes you, and you glance up. “Hey, you know if Marion's still looking for someone to work part-time at the bistro?”
Khol raises an eyebrow. "You looking to apply? It’s minimum wage, just telling you in advance."
"That’s fine," you assure them. "I just need something on the side. I’m doing freelance work right now, I just want something to fill in the gaps."
Anna perks up at that. "I think that’s a great idea. I can hit up Marion later, but I’m pretty sure they’re still looking."
Khol stares at you, and for once, they don’t have a quip lined up. No sharp-edged humor, no quick banter—just a quiet look of something almost foreign on their face. Pride. Maybe even relief. You’ve worried them. The realization jars you like a pebble dropped into a clear pond, sending ripples through the stillness of your self-imposed isolation. You hadn’t meant to, not really. It wasn’t like you deliberately wanted to disappear... But you did, didn’t you? You let the days blur into weeks, then months, telling yourself naively that no one would notice if you just—vanished for a while. Five months, to be exact.
You press your lips together, clearing your throat against the tightness creeping in. “Thanks,” you say, quiet but sincere. “Really.”
Khol snorts, and the moment shatters. “You can show your thanks by knocking ten percent off the cocktails when we visit.”
You roll your eyes, feigning exasperation. “Get me the job first, and I’ll see what I can do.”
Anna grins, raising her glass. “Now, that’s the spirit.”
––––
You get the job.
You stand in front of the fogged-up mirror, dragging your palm across the wet glass. The reflection that stares back is warped, smudged—half-formed, half-there—but unequivocally yours. 
A month ago, you wouldn’t have been able to say that with certainty. Back then, the figure in the mirror had been more ghost than person—distant, spectral. Fractured. Someone you watched from the outside, not as a host of the flesh you inhabit. 
Now, though, the pieces are starting to slot back into place. Some are still missing, and others don’t quite fit as they once did. You doubt it will ever return to how it was… But slowly, a familiar shape is coming back into focus. More than the shadow of a woman, but you.  Time moves like water carving through rock—gradual, barely perceptible, but steady. Inevitable.
The shifts are diminutive. A morning where you wake up feeling less crushed by the weight of grief in your chest. An afternoon where you suddenly break into laughter, and you realize it’s the first time you’ve heard it in weeks. A quiet night where you go to bed without feeling like you’re stuck frozen in an endless loop of wishing, waiting for the impossible.
You’re here, alive. Present. And for the first time in what feels like a lifetime, you’re doing more than just holding on.
(You think he’d be proud of you.)
And the thought doesn’t leave you aching the way it used to.
––––
“You think I can handle taking care of another living thing? Like a plant?” You ask Maru, glancing at him lounging by the window, right where a sliver of afternoon sunlight spills across the floor. “I mean, I raised you well enough, I think. But you’re pretty self-sufficient anyway.” Maru looks unimpressed. His tail flicks once—dismissive, uninterested—before he returns to grooming himself, utterly indifferent to both your question and your sudden enthusiasm for gardening. “Well, if your dad can grow plants in that dungeon he calls a base, I’m sure I can manage,” you mutter unconvincingly. “How hard can it be?” 
By the middle of the second week into your little project, you begrudgingly admit that your tiny repotted begonia isn’t exactly thriving. You don’t want to be a pessimist, but the (browning) margins seem to curl inward—more than they should, if the reference pics on that “Indoor Succulents” blog you’re subscribed to are anything to go by. 
You eye it dubiously, trying to stay gung-ho about the whole thing, forcing yourself to look up care tips again. It’s just a plant. Not rocket science. So you do the research, gather more supplies, and give it another shot. You reposition it closer to where the sun lands—earning a disgruntled hiss from the sunbathing feline—and sprinkle a careful amount of water just beneath the leaves, closer to the root. Then you lean back, waiting, tapping your foot impatiently like it’s supposed to just... fix itself.
The next few days pass with you watching it more than you’d care to admit—checking, hoping, second-guessing yourself. 
You narrow your eyes at the leaves, more russet than Inca Flame red, still hanging limp like a sad testament to your lack of skill. 
But you keep at it, because you’re nothing if not stubborn.
A single flower has bloomed.
You stand there, spray bottle in hand, caught in quiet awe at the metallic pink sprout peeking through the foliage. It’s small, delicate, barely more than a bud, but unmistakably there—nestled among heart-shaped leaves that, for the first time in weeks, look alive. Brighter. 
A faint smile tugs at your lips. It’s not groundbreaking, not by a long shot. But it’s something.
The fragile blossom clings onto dear life, stubbornly seeking the sun rays, inching toward the warmth it needs to grow—larger, stronger.
You can’t wait to bear witness to it. 
––––
You’re not entirely sure how you ended up in this situation; all you could recall past the sweat blurring your vision is the memory of being in front of the reception desk, pen in hand, scrawling your name onto the sign-up sheet for beginner boxing lessons. 
It’s not… something you planned on doing, really. You’d been showing up for the past week, trying to convince yourself that fitness was something you could get into. Something you could stick with. But this one’s more of an impulse decision, fueled by a mix of post-workout endorphins and the misplaced confidence that sometimes follows after an extra few—unpremeditated!—minutes on the elliptical. 
It all started with a casual glance at a flyer taped to the wall beside the water dispenser.
GET TOUGHER, FASTER, STRONGER! SIGN UP NOW!
The cheesy tagline stared you down as you were in the middle of refilling your teal green AquaFlask. And for some dumb reason—sheer curiosity, definitely not because it reminded you of a certain someone—you thought: Why not?
Before you could talk yourself out of it, you’d marched straight up to the nearest staff at the counter, credit card in hand, and asked to sign up. Now, as you stare at the buff woman currently goading you to hit harder, reality sets in and you feel a little lightheaded. Even slightly delirious.
“Up, up–” your trainer urges, somehow not even remotely out of breath, despite being thirty grueling minutes into the session. Meanwhile, you’re standing there, red-faced and sweating like a fucking pig. “Keep your arms up at all times, alright?”
You pant, nodding weakly, fixing your posture. She gives you an approving nod in return.
It’s part of the whole self-improvement thing, anyway. Pushing yourself. Fitness, jazz, and all that. You’ve never had much inclination for sports or anything remotely physically taxing, as far as you can recall.
…Or maybe that decision was made for you the moment you tried out for volleyball in high school and took a spike straight to the face. A memory so humiliating, that your brain did you a favor and buried it deep in the recesses of your mind. 
But things are different now! You’re trying new things. You’ve done wall climbing, aerobics, even pulled a hamstring attempting HIIT Tae Bo. And if getting punched in the face is the next step in this… wellness journey, then, well, so be it. You’ll take it with a brave face and, hopefully, minimal bruising to both body and ego.
You slog through two sets of combos and thirty jab-straight-hook-uppercuts, punching like your life depends on it. You’re wheezing like an asthmatic child, and you’re about one bad punch away from toppling over.
Then, mercifully—
“Okay, that’s enough for today.”
Oh, thank god.
“You did good,” she tacks on, flashing you an encouraging smile, like you didn’t just spend the last half hour flailing at the focus mitts with all the grace of a wrecking ball.
You stare at her, unconvinced. Did I? Because from where you’re standing—wobbling, really—you’re pretty sure you looked closer to an overstimulated toddler throwing hands with gravity, but sure. It must’ve been in the fine print, to segue in a little positive reinforcement. Probably to keep people from bolting after the first session. 
Not that you’re planning to. No, of course not. You’re just... reevaluating some things. Like your life choices. And your capacity to lift your arms tomorrow. As you trudge your way out of the yoga-studio-turned-boxing-area, still gulping for air and very aware of the soreness settling into your limbs, someone calls out.
“Hey! Wait up!”
You turn your head, blinking in confusion. A guy—mid to late twenties, give or take—jogs up to you, looking offensively too fresh compared to how you feel. “Oh, hi. Sorry, do you mean me?”
He laughs as he slows to a stop, running a hand through his shaggy hair. “Yeah, you. I saw you training with Coach. Just wanted to say—you’re improving.”
You blink. Wait, what?
A wave of mortification rolls through you. Shit, you didn’t know you had an audience. “Uh—thanks, I guess?”
You shift your weight awkwardly, clutching your boxing gloves tightly against your chest.
His grin turns sheepish, as though he realizes how that might’ve come off. “Fuck, sorry. That came out weird, didn’t it? I swear, I wasn't, like, watching the whole thing or anything.” He makes a vague gesture to his left. “The studio’s right in my line of sight when I did my TRX reps. Hard not to notice.”
You force a smile. “Ah, yeah. Figures.” 
“I’m Byron, by the way,” he offers, sticking out a hand.
Now that you get a proper look at him, you notice he’s got this kind of… geeky charm going for him. Curly hair, sleepy brown eyes behind round, rimless glasses, and shy boy-next-door vibes—except for the fact that he’s jacked.
(Honestly? Work.)
You give him your name, still smiling awkwardly. You’re about to wave goodbye and turn away when— “So, what are you doing later?”
Um.
You hesitate. “I’m, uh… heading straight home after this?” Your voice comes out a little more uncertain than you intended, mostly because you’re not really sure why he’s still talking to you.
“Yeah, ‘course,” he replies quickly, glancing down like he’s suddenly nervous. “I just… thought I’d ask if you’d wanna grab coffee sometime?”
Oh.
It takes a moment for the question to fully register. The first thought that pops in your head is: Wait, how does he know I’m a barista?
… The second thought is one of pure disbelief. Holy shit, did I just get asked out? At the gym? By the Temu version of Peter Parker?
Your face burns hotter than it did mid-workout, caught completely off guard.
“I—woah, um.” You stumble over your words, eyes quickly darting away from him. “Sorry, I already have… a boyfriend. If—if that’s what you’re leading up to.”
You say it like a question. He picks up on it.
“You don’t sound too convinced,” he comments with a light chuckle, shaking his head. “If you’re not interested, you can just say that, you know.”
A prickle of irritation flares up, followed by something sharper—something that stings. You push it down. “No, he’s just… not around.” “Ah.” He clicks his tongue sympathetically. “Long distance?” “…Yeah.” You have no idea.
He shrugs, undeterred. “Alright, no pressure. We could always just hang out as friends, if you want.”
I… don’t think I do. “Um, maybe?” you answer instead, forcing out a laugh.
“Oh, come on,” he says, his grin widening. “You can even introduce me to your boyfriend,” he emphasizes the word out, “when he gets back. Does he work out? We could all hit the gym together.”
Social anxiety is afraid of this man, you think belatedly. Unfortunately for him, you’re the very embodiment of what fears him.
You’re so out of your element that all you can manage is, “He boxes too, actually.”
“Yeah? He any good?” 
That gets an involuntary snort out of you. Unthinkingly, you say, “Could probably beat you up.”
Byron laughs, startled but amused, shaking his head as he raises his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright—message received.” He flashes you a wide smile. “Well, if you change your mind about the coffee, I’ll be around.” He jerks his chin toward the pack fly by the corner. “There, usually.”
Okay, nerd. Despite yourself, you can’t help but find the whole thing slightly hilarious. Then again, you find humor in the dumbest things. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
You offer him a quick, half-hearted wave, trying (and failing) to mask your embarrassment with an exaggerated, too-casual show of nonchalance. It’s so painfully awkward, you can feel yourself internally dying from the cringe of it all.
Without another word, you spin on your heel and start speed-walking away, practically running back to the safety of your personal space.
Smooth.
––––
It’s another relatively easy night at the bistro. You’re on the last two hours of your shift, and you’re carrying a single glass of roseberry mule to serve at table four. As you round the corner, you catch sight of a student, glasses perched low on her nose, completely absorbed in a thick coursebook on Programming Languages. Papers are scattered across the table, and she looks to be utterly engrossed in her readings, unaware of the world around her. 
You don’t want to bother her more than necessary, about to set the drink down on the only clear space—by the iPad propped up on a tablet holder to her right—when something red catches your attention.
A familiar pair of crimson eyes stops you dead in your tracks.
For a moment, you feel like you’re suspended in time. The sharp memory of a similar instance where you’re in her place, and he’s there, keeping you company while he’s polishing a gun burns through your brain, and you don’t–you can’t think—
You stand there, rooted to the spot, wide-eyed and unmoving. Then, the girl’s gaze shifts to you, and a hot flush spreads across her cheeks, betraying her surprise.
With swift fingers, she locks the screen with a quick flick on the power button, pulling you away and breaking you from the echoes of the past.
“Oh, shit,” she giggles, a nervous edge to her voice. “That’s embarrassing.” 
You shake your head, forcing yourself back to the present moment. “No—no, don’t worry about it,” you chuckle weakly, setting the drink down beside her with shaky hands. “Cute guy, honestly.”
That makes her giggle louder, her eyes bright with an almost conspiratorial glint. “Oh my god, you have no idea.”
Fuck—you can’t breathe.
––––
The night hangs thick with stifling heat, accompanied by the steady ticking of the clock as you catch your breath, your broken moans too loud in the heavy silence. The sheets cling to your feverish skin, damp and uncomfortable, as your body moves in a rhythm that feels unnatural now, but still—but always—familiar.
Your chest rises and falls in shallow, rapid breaths as you force the draconic toy deep inside you. The heat, the fire—it licks at your skin, making your whole body yearn for more. To chase more of the feeling, to chase more of the memory of him. 
Errant strands of hair stick to your forehead, your chest flushed and burning, a quiet throb spreading through you with every friction, every desperate movement.
Your body aches, a relentless thrum urging you to push deeper, to find something—anything—to fill the gaping hole inside you, a wound you’ve tried to stitch shut over months, now threatening to tear its way open again, once more ripping from the seams. 
A sharp pressure builds inside you. Your body stretches too far, too much, struggling to take in what it can’t quite handle. It burns in a way that hurts, but you need it. You need to feel more, to fill the emptiness, to grasp at something that feels real.
“Yours, yours–” you tremble, desperate. “Yours. Just yours. Please.”
-
-
-
You lie in the wake of it—pleasure fading into something heavier, regret creeping in like a shadow, waiting as always.
“I miss you,” you whisper in the dark. You always do.
You try to ignore the pull of it, the sharp descent that comes with the high.
You were doing so well.
But it’s fine. You’re fine. 
Everything’s fine.
The words swirl and echo in your mind, until they’re swallowed by sounds that ring hollow. You let the moment wash over you, sinking beneath the weight of the tides, where sorrow and longing blur with the fleeting warmth of what you can’t keep.
Tomorrow will be another day. Another chance to try again.
For now, you let go of your grip on the fragile raft of sanity you’ve built, painstakingly, for months on end.
Tonight, you let yourself drown once more in the somber depths of loneliness and despair, confined within these four walls that feel—once more—like a penitentiary.
––––
The plane begins its slow descent, and through the window, the world comes into view—large swathes of land interrupted by winding roads that seem to follow no rhyme, nor pattern. A river glints faintly beneath the fading sun, while the sky turns a dull blue, a washed-out slate, streaked with the last embers of daylight.
Below, the small city stirs.
Tiny specks of color flicker to life, lanterns strung along the streets like beads on a thread, marking the season, an ending, and the inevitable turning of time. A chill hangs in the air, the wind whipping past you from the half-open window of the taxi, sharp and crisp in a way that you can only find in the province.
Your hometown. 
It all rushes past in a blur of light and shadow, an eclectic mix of old and new—some buildings unchanged, others unfamiliar, as if they’d sprung up in the years you’ve been away. It’s been a while since you last came back, long enough for the roads to feel... foreign, almost. Though muscle memory stirs when the car takes a turn. One you could have easily navigated even with your eyes closed.
Only your sister lives here now, her and her family—a couple of hundred miles far. Far enough to feel like another world, yet close enough for the past to catch up the moment you lay eyes on the old two-story house tucked away on the quaint cul-de-sac of this suburban neighborhood. 
The residential property was left to her, scrawled onto the title in an act of generosity, perhaps. Or maybe as a weight your mother never intended to carry, something meant to anchor her eldest child while she carved a different life for herself elsewhere. Free-spirited as she is, she left with the ease of someone shedding an old coat, slipping into the shoes of another, barely a glance over her shoulder.
But houses remember. And as you step out of the vehicle, your feet meeting the rough asphalt that once belonged to your childhood, you wonder if they remember you too.
"Maru, Maru!" Your five-year-old niece cries the moment she spots the grumpy feline peering through the mesh of his portable prison.
"What—no excitement for me too?" you tease, ruffling her hair. She giggles, scrunching up her nose.
"Auntie, hi! Hi!"
You snort at her enthusiasm, setting the carrier down. The second you pull at the zipper, Maru springs out, landing with a soft thud before stalking off with his usual air of disdain. Your niece shrieks with delight. 
"Ah! Cat!"
"Well, there go the chances of her socializing with her brother," your sister remarks dryly from the doorway, sauntering closer. "Hey, stranger."
"Hey," you greet, hoisting a handful of paper bags. "Where do I dump these?"
She eyes the bags. "Any of those for me?"
"You have three kids, and one of them insisted on a Lego set. Do you know how much those cost?" You shoot her a flat look. "You’re getting socks."
"Wow, stingy." She huffs but takes some of the bags anyway, hitching one onto her hip as she grabs your other hand-carry.
You step inside, and the house greets you with a riot of lights and color. Plastic tinsel and bright string lights drape across every visible surface—along the bannister, around doorways—leaving no space untouched by the festive chaos. A Christmas tree stands proudly in the corner, nearly buried beneath an avalanche of baubles and sentimental ornaments collected over the years.
The room feels swallowed by the exuberance of it all, an almost overwhelming jamboree of holiday cheer.
It’s gaudy, excessive, and completely over-the-top, but beneath it all, the bones of your childhood home remain unchanged—familiar in a way that settles deep in your chest. The Narra wood floors are still scuffed with the marks of time, there’s still the distinct tang of turpentine mixed with waxy resin and citrus you’ve long since associated with home, and the odd decorative masks still line the far wall, their painted expressions frozen mid-celebration.
Your eyes land on the canvas floater above the mantel—a whimsical cross-stitch of three women flying kites, their stitched dresses rippling in imagined wind. You remember it well, though you never quite understood why your mother had chosen that particular scene to painstakingly sew into existence. Still, it belongs here, another piece of the house's patchwork history.
Your gaze shifts to the couch, where Andrew, your sister's husband, is sprawled out, one arm lazily draped over the backrest, the other holding his phone.
He flicks his gaze up at you, offering a half-hearted wave before turning back to whatever has him so absorbed on the screen. Beside him, your three-year-old nephew is perched on his knees, bouncing with energy as he mirrors Bluey's movements on the TV with exaggerated enthusiasm, his tiny arms flailing in childlike glee.
You sigh inwardly, rolling your eyes. Typical.
“There’s a few more hours before dinner. Want to hang out in the kitchen while I roast the ham?” She asks casually, setting down your bags by the foot of the stairs. “Actually, scratch that—you’re in charge of the punch.”
“You just want a head start on the drinks,” you tease, the banter flowing easily between you. “Hey, where’s the little squirt?”
She points toward the small crib, near the island counter. “She finally stopped crying, thank god. Don’t wake her up, or you’ll be the one in charge of putting her back to sleep.”
The two of you slip into the kitchen, where the air already carries the promise of dinner—cloves and brown sugar blending nicely with the lingering scent of citrus. A tray of ham sits on the counter, prepped and ready, the scored surface glistening under the fluorescent light. 
Your sister pulls a bottle of Luisita Oro Rum and Agimat Gin from the second-to-last cupboard and places them on the counter in front of you.
"Go ham," she quips.
You give her a flat look. "You think you’re funny.”
She shrugs, unfazed, and turns her attention back to where she’d left off before your arrival. 
The two of you fall into a natural rhythm, the kind that comes from years of cooking together. You work your way through cans of Del Monte, the metallic clinks filling the space as you drain the syrup and dump chunks of mixed fruit into the large punch bowl.
Your sister leans against the counter nearby, arms folded, her gaze fixed on the oven door, as if sheer willpower alone could make the meat cook faster.
In the background, the soft drone of the TV drifts in from the living room, punctuated by your nephew’s occasional giggles.
There’s no rush, no need to fill the silence with anything more than the occasional clang of utensils against glass and the low humming of kitchen appliances. The day is winding down to a close, and for now, everything is alright.
“So, Mom called,” she says casually, one arm braced on the counter as she leans in, glancing at you. “Kept calling, actually.”
“Mm.” You reply noncommittally, shaking the last can’s contents into the crystal bowl, watching as the fruit chunks bob lazily in the pool of alcohol.
“She’s worried about you.”
You don’t answer.
“She was. She is.” Her voice shifts, more serious now. She watches you closely, noting your lack of reaction. “You know that, right?”
Your fingers tighten around the can opener, but you pull your gaze away from the bowl. “I know.”
She sighs, resigned, already familiar with this song and dance. Familiar enough to know there’s no winning this one, not tonight. Not anytime soon. “I am too.”
You blink, before looking away. “Oh.”
And maybe she does worry—your mother. But any hope of truly knowing is swallowed by the chasm between you, the one that keeps your conversations at surface level, never breaching the depths beyond. 
Your body, born from hers, perhaps more alike than you realize, might have been brought into this world with the same pains that she’s carried. The pains of separation. The unresolved hurt of being unwillingly removed from your person—her former husband, your father—and that if you and your mother were closer, you could have opened up about your own situation. Perhaps then, you wouldn’t feel like a ship that has lost its ballast, drifting endlessly in the same turbulent seas for the longest time.
But you are your mother’s daughter, and she is her mother’s daughter. There is the truth that the women in your family are not the best communicators, nor do they wear their hearts on their sleeves. So you were born mute and overly sensitive. Pain drips from you, unnoticed, like a purposeless leak in the heart. You’ll carry it with you until you die.
“But you look… okay,” she observes, cocking her head. “Are you okay?”
You swallow. For the same reason you compare your mother to a storm you can't outrun and your sister to an intermittent drizzle, you find it easier to admit, “I haven’t… been okay for a while.” 
Not wanting to bring the mood down, especially on a day like today, you quickly add, “Things are better now, though.”
She huffs out a laugh, shaking her head. “Could be a little more specific there, but I’ll take it.” She gives you an exasperatedly fond look. “You let me know if that changes anytime soon, ‘kay?”
Your lips quirk in the faintest semblance of a smile. “Yeah, okay.”
It’s ten minutes before midnight.
You’re leaning against the island counter that separates the kitchen from the living room, nursing a glass of the fruit punch (though it’s mostly gin, with the teensiest amount of fruit), watching your sister’s family at a distance as they eagerly wait for the clock to strike twelve. The blinds of the large living room window have been pulled up, giving an unobstructed view of the sky, ready for the first firework to light up the dark.
For a moment, you feel like an outsider, watching through a lens, as if you’re not quite part of the scene. There’s a strange sense of detachment—voyeuristic, almost—as though you're peering in on a private, intimate moment. 
Your sister cradles the infant in her arms, and that all-too-familiar pang stirs to life—the same one that always does when you look at her.
You can't quite place what you're feeling, exactly. It’s tumultuous, and it’s complex. Andrew’s practically dozing off in his seat, and you see your sister shake her head in mild annoyance. Your nephew, fighting to keep his eyes open, starts to fuss.
Something tightens inside your chest.
“Andrew,” she hisses, startling the man awake. He blinks, disoriented, before spotting their son and the early signs of an explosive tantrum.
He sighs, and pulls the boy closer to him. “Hey, hey, little guy. Look at the sky. In just a couple of minutes, the lights are gonna go boom-boom.”
Your nephew sniffs, his eyes blinking up at him as he processes the words. “Boom-boom?”
“Yeah! Just like the one we watched on TV!”
The kid’s face visibly perks up at that, bad mood quickly forgotten. “Boom-boom!”
You watch as your sister’s gaze softens, and a small smile replaces the earlier frown on her face.
And in that instant, you understand.
You look at your sister and, for a brief moment, all you see is a wretched mirror of yourself. She is all of your fears, all of your failures, and all of what you could’ve been rolled into one. Barely in her mid-thirties, and yet already carrying the weight of a family: three kids, a husband who feels like a faded echo of your father—a man who didn’t quite measure up, who never did, and just as unreliable. 
You feel the suffocating weight of it all, of being tied to a place that’s meant to be a home but feels more like a tomb, marking the passing of dreams unspoken. She’ll grow old here, buried in the same soil you both sprang from, fading into the landscape of this town that swallows its own.
You look at her and you almost feel the repressed pain of missing the last semester of college to give birth, the lament of a missed opportunity that life has stolen from her. 
You feel her pain as if it’s yours. You feel it in the marrow of your bones—her blood flowing through you. “3…” You look at her, and it feels like seeing someone bound, held down by an anchor around her foot, unable to break through the surface of freedom. You look at her and you see dreams once aglow, reduced to cinders. You look at her and see—
She glances up at you.
Oh. “2…” In the fleeting moment where your eyes meet—eyes you two share with your mother—you feel so small.
Just a kid. Shortsighted and unfairly dismissive. Too blind to see your sister’s quiet victories, too selfish to admit you’ve diminished them just so you could feel less alone about your own failures. A child grasping for meaning, unfair in the ways only children can be. “1…” And in the fraction of a second before midnight, it's as if you’ve been doused awake. 
You see her anew—what seemed like monotony is really the bedrock of stability; tenacity in place of routine. An almost single-minded doggedness to make something out of this life. You see the steadfast strength she possesses, the kind that gets her up every morning, to face the world and all its demands without question. With purpose. 
You see resilience. Compassion. Traits that you’ve always lacked, that you’ve long resented, the same traits your mother never learned to embody.
And now you see your niece in her arms, born from this, and you name the indescribable feeling that dwells in you—borne from the pure look of adoration in your sister’s eyes for her youngest daughter—as envy.
You know, with utmost certainty, that she will be okay, because she has your sister as her mother, and she is so, so loved.
As you watch them, something inside you shifts—a deep, aching realization. 
You see… home. Something you've always longed for but never truly found. “Happy new year!” The spell breaks. The two of you startle at the sudden eruption of fireworks, the distant chorus of car horns blaring from the streets outside.
Your niece and nephew jump and shriek, their laughter ringing through the room, celebrating something they barely understand but find joy in anyway. The baby in your sister’s arms lets out a wail at the commotion, and she is soothed instantly with murmurs of soft assurances. Her husband struggles upright—then, with no small amount of effort, leans forward to press a kiss to the crown of her head.
The image before you is far from perfect, but it’s theirs.
“Auntie, auntie!” The little rascals cry out in unison, their voices overlapping in excitement. “‘appy n’year!”
A breathless, almost pained laugh escapes you. Still, you smile as you respond with your own, “happy new year!”
You’re tired—tired of running, of measuring yourself against the ghosts of your past. Tired of carrying the weight of a childhood that’s left you with more questions than answers, of making excuses for wounds that should have healed long since. You've spent so much time mourning the growing pains, the irreparable, that you never stopped to see what’s in front of you. 
This moment, this realization, feels like the final missing piece in the fractured puzzle of who you are.
The new year arrives, marked by the crackle of fireworks and the loud cheer from your family.
This time, you won’t hesitate. You’ll choose to embrace the change, both good and bad, with open arms. With the quiet resolve of someone finally ready to move forward.
You lift your gaze just as a brilliant burst of red explodes into the night sky, its iridescent glow bleeding into a softer silver before fading into the dark. 
A warmth settles deep in your chest—bittersweet, but steady. A quiet peace.
Happy new year, my love. . . . . . . .
.
.
.
.
. . .
The air at the threshold of Vagrant’s land is restless. Volatile. A hazy distortion ripples through it, folding and unfolding, like a lost mirage—an area of transition between worlds. Porch collapse, he calls it. 
Sylus has stood here countless times, watching the way this anomalous disturbance twists the very fabric of this reality, how it flickers in and out of form, erratic. Impossible to predict. 
It had taken him longer than he likes to admit to understand the phenomena for what it’s truly worth. Not just an alternate space caused by some spartan energy field. Not just any other protofield. But a thread. A connection. A door. 
A fault line between realities, an entryway that hums with the possibility of you.
Since the moment the idea took hold, he had thought of little else. It has consumed him in every waking moment; his entire being seeming to bend toward a singular purpose—getting to you. He had torn through endless streams of data, followed every unstable pulse of energy, mapped its fluctuations down to the smallest inconsistency.
Nights bled into days, and days bled into weeks, until he can no longer keep track. Not that the passage of time meant much to him at this point. 
He’s worked tirelessly through the stillness, through the storms of uncertainty, through the aching silence left by your absence. Ever since you’ve exchanged your temporary goodbyes. 
He had measured everything he could—the unstable frequency of radio signals streaming through the interstice. He had traced the influx in real time; recording the rate of deterioration, isolating the waveform, and filtering out outside interferences. 
But for all the data he gathered, for all the precision in his calculations, the core of this phenomenon remained just out of reach. His knowledge on the matter is rudimentary at most. He could waste years observing for abnormalities, trying to decipher how its presence has disrupted the very threads of this universe, but the why and how of it all will still elude him. 
Still, theory matters less than function. He doesn’t need to understand the full depth of it. He only needs to harness it.
It’s a gamble.
Contrary to whatever reputation he’s earned for himself, Sylus has never been one to play his cards recklessly. He deals in certainties, in probabilities stacked in his favor, in risks that—while dangerous—are still within his grasp to control. He has never been the type to leap without knowing where he’d land.
But this is different.
He has never needed to, before. Never had a reason to throw himself into the unknown with no assurance of survival, no way to predict the outcome.
He had no reason to—until you.
Now, it matters less whether or not the odds of his survival are abysmal, that he has no precedent to follow. That your world might reject him entirely. None of it matters. Because if the choice is between staying and never reaching you, or plunging into the great, endless unknown—
He’ll take the leap, every time. Without hesitation. 
He’ll leave this world behind, step beyond the edges of everything that has ever defined him, and venture into lands unseen, uncharted. Unknown. He doesn’t know what awaits him on the other side. If he’ll make it there in one piece. If he will make it there at all.
Sylus has never really questioned why he’s the anomaly in this world. The curiosities of his existence are yours to ponder. After all, he finds that he doesn’t care much of the answer as much as he cares about being with you.
Because wherever you are—that is home. 
He takes a step forward, and the universe dissolves into a blinding light.
-
-
-
Sylus wakes to the sensation of weight.
Something presses on him heavily, sinking into his limbs like gravity itself is wrapping around him for the first time.
The ground beneath him is unfamiliar, uneven—tangible in a way he’s never felt before. His fingertips press into the damp earth, leaving the faintest imprint, yielding beneath his touch. The scent of soil rises around him; a rich, bitter brown. 
This world does not recognize him, yet it cradles him like its own all the same.
Above, the sky erupts.
Fireworks split open the night, streaks of color exploding and dissipating in an instant—too fleeting to hold, too bright to ignore. A flashbang of incandescent reds and fluorescent greens, followed by bursts of crackling gold and shimmering silver scatter into tiny pinpricks before fading into the darkness.
The air is heavier here, denser in a way that feels almost… alien. It clings to the contours of his new form, seeps into his lungs with every breath. 
And oh, how it burns. Not in pain, but in its sheer presence. It rushes into him not as mere oxygen but as something real. Something palpable. He’s lost in the sensation. 
He exhales. Then winces. 
Immediately, he feels it—the weakness. The brittleness of this new body. Gone is the invulnerability he once wielded so effortlessly, the certainty that nothing could touch him unless he allowed it. 
That certainty is gone now, stripped away the moment he crossed the threshold.
He is flesh and bone. Finite. Mortal.
A lesser man might have feared it.
But in the middle of this empty field, miles away from civilization, Sylus can only laugh. 
He tips his head back, reeling from the sheer impossibility of it all, eyes tracing the brilliant display above—as if committing it to memory, a coronation of sorts. Of existence. Of arrival. Of a life finally his own.
Reborn. And for the first time in his existence, he is alive.
––––
It’s summer—the summer that marks two years since he left. 
Two years. It’s enough time to feel the weight of it, but not enough to make the events feel like something that happened a lifetime ago. 
The seasons cycle once more, as they always do, pushing time forward with a steady, indifferent rhythm. And with that change comes a familiar pang—a bittersweet ache, neither grief nor regret, just the weight of knowing that nothing stays the same. Mono no aware. 
You’re closer to thirty now, and the thought doesn’t terrify you as much as it did before. Your hair’s in a pixie cut—short and sleek, although the edges are a little ragged from the half-assed trimming you gave it a few days ago. 
It would have made you feel stupid, once upon a time, for trying out something drastic for a new look. Instead, you just take it for what it is—one more thing you did because you wanted to. Like the rest of the choices you’ve made over the past two years. It’s yours. Uneven, impulsive, maybe a little questionable. But yours.
It’s liberating. Even if it makes your head look like a pencil. 
The voice—the one that picks at your face, your body, your thoughts, everything down to the last imperfection—never really shuts up. It’s quieter now, easier to ignore, but it still lurks in the background, waiting for an opening, a moment of weakness. Maybe it always will. Maybe that’s just the price of being human.
But you don’t fight it anymore. You don’t let it drag you down to a breaking point. You carry yourself differently now, you'd say. No pep in your step just yet, but you don’t feel the need to drag your heels either. Literally and figuratively. 
The change has come in waves—sometimes gentle, sometimes harsh—but it’s there, marking you, marking the passage of time. Just like the earth, just like the seasons, you’ve shifted and grown. And perhaps that’s enough.
The sky is ablaze now, a deepening canvas of pinks and purples as the sun sinks lazily to the west. The fiery orange light spills through the large windows, bleeding into every corner of the room, and the world outside seems to slow, caught in the hour before dusk.
You’re behind the counter, wiping down plates with the kind of ease that comes from repetition, the motion so ingrained in you that it barely registers anymore. It’s all routine—the rhythm of it, the quiet hum of the bistro, the clinking of porcelain. The air is thick with the sticky smell of warm pastries, and it’s the sort of evening that feels almost liminal. A moment suspended in time.
You hear the soft tinkling of the door chimes, signaling the arrival of another customer. 
It’s a soft, unassuming sound, barely noticeable against the evening lull. You swipe your hands across your apron, turning on instinct, your mouth already forming the usual greeting. 
“Hi, welcome to—”
The words die in your throat.
It’s a slow unfolding—almost a gradual realization that stretches across the seconds like the last rays of sun dipping beneath the horizon. He stands in the doorway, a figure outlined in gold, and his presence fills the space between you, no barrier that separates, and it feels... impossible. Unimaginable. Inevitable. 
His height is the first thing you notice. He’s taller than you expected, and you know he’ll tower over you, even at a distance. His hair is dark now, the color of midnight, almost—not the silver you once traced with your fingers in your mind. The cut is still similar to what you’ve always known it to be, though a little more unkempt, as if he’s lived in this body long enough for it to take on its own wear.
Then his eyes. The red is gone—no longer the shade of crimson that used to see right through you, those sanguine pools you once loved. In its place, a stormy grey, deep and impossibly expressive, pulling you in like an undertow. The color is striking, alien in its own way, yet there’s a warmth buried beneath it—and the familiarity of it tugs at you.
Even with the changes, even though you’ve never met the person standing in front of you, you’ll know him anywhere. 
There’s a shift in the room, a subtle, yet unmistakable change in the air. It’s as if the whole bistro has drawn in a breath—and you with it. Time stretches thin, each passing second expanding into what feels like an eternity.
Your eyes lock—and for a moment, nothing else exists. 
It’s as if the world has shifted off its axis. Or, perhaps more accurately, it’s as though a piece that’s always been missing has finally snapped into place.
Something settles in you, something foreign and indescribably familiar at the same time.
Sylus smiles.
“Hello, my love. Have I kept you waiting?”
It feels like home. 
____
“Now I found myself this kind of love, I can't believe it I'll never leave it behind I thought I'd never get to feel another fucking feeling But I feel— This love, this love, this love Oh, I feel it.”
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End A/N: So this is done! Wow! I'm kind of proud of myself for writing something this long in the span of, idk, three months? Basically, the entire duration of my "vacation" back home. Now with another term and a busier schedule coming up, I really wanted to finish this series before life catches up to me. *sobs* Anyway, I'm so, so happy about the reception of this fic, and you've all been so sweet :') Again, thank you for reading! I'll see you in the spin-off, or whatever shit I put out next haha <3 Tagging: @xxfaithlynxx @beewilko @browneyedgirl22 @yournextdoorhousewitch @sunsethw4 @stxrrielle @mangooes @hrts4hanniehae @buggs-1 @michiluvddr @ssetsuka @imm0rtalbutterfly @the-golden-jhope @beomluvrr @bookfreakk @ally-the-artistic-turtle @sapphic-daze @sarahthemage @cchiiwinkle @madam8 @slownoise @raendarkfaerie @sylusdarling @luminaaaz @greeenbeean @vvhira @issamomma @shroomiethefrogwhisperer @blueberrysquire @lovely-hani @fiyori @peachystea @aeanya @sylus-crow @queen-serena88 @xthefuckerysquaredx @rayvensblog @poptrim @goldenbirdiee @amerti @angstylittleb1tch @reiofsuns2001 @j4mergy @touya-apologist @gladiolus-mamacitia @btszn @wrimaira
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childishshroom · 20 hours ago
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I’m not the best at fic writing, or writing these characters/series in general, but i just had to get this idea out into words!!
(Lost my original draft of this cause of device dying, but i will prevail :[ )
<- —~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~——~— ->
As Danny and the gang were walking down the side walk coming back from school, he suddenly sensed that a large amount of ecto was nearby, but that was impossible, there was only shops and a couple of random, far away people coming across the side walk towards them. And there was definitely no way it was from anyone he knew, he would of recognized it almost instantly.
‘Maybe its just a fluke? some random ambient patch of echo or something!’ He would start justify to himself, but that feeling never disappeared, in fact, it did the opposite, it only got stronger the longer he walked. And once it was strong enough he realized what kind of ghost that ecto would come from.
A revenant. One of — if not the most — violent, vengeful, short sighted, and all around pain in the butt to deal with, type of ghost. Of course, due to this fact, Danny quickly started looking around for the source of this negative ecto, sweeping over the shops, cars, manholes, and finally over the people they were about to pass, the ecto seemed to be concentrated around them the most, so he started looking them over, there were two of them.
There was a short woman, who probably somewhere around 25, sporting an almost fully blue outfit with the eyes and hair to match, leaving just her glasses being sort of purple tinted. Danny noted that she has roughly the same amount of ambient ecto as some just random, run of the mill paranormal hunter, if not a bit more then one, but nowhere even close to revenant levels of the stuff.
So, that leaves only the other person walking besides her.
He seemed to be a tall, pretty bulky guy, who looked like he couldn’t be that much older then 20, wearing a nearly full black suit, black and white what seems like gloves, and a pinkish-purple tie, matching with his purple hair — which, sure is an odd choice, but this is amity park, Dannys seen weirder. — anyways. Danny soon realized that he couldn’t really see the mans eyes, and that he seemed to be walking with a sort of lightness in his steps, not too dissimilar to when he himself walks around as phantom. But hey! Maybe he’s just a surprisingly light guy, who knows.
Getting back to business, he realized that while seemingly having similar levels of ecto to his companion at a glance, he had a MUCH higher level then her if you actually focused on him. So of course, he was Dannys best guess as to who the revenant might be.
But there was no way it was him! Revenants attack anybody and anything almost completely blindly, say’ from they’re target who they go after with unbridled rage. But this guy was literally just walking down the street, chatting with his friend, little to no rage, no vengefulness, not even any disappointment! Not to mention the fact that he at least looked human, revenants usually looked like strange, floating skeletons more then humans!
But Danny’s trail of thought would quickly be cut off by him spotting the weird — you could almost call it an aura — around that guy, purple, misty, and unmistakably ghostly.
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ANYWAYS!!! Thats it for now cause its 3AM on a school night and i am already regretting my decisions!
Might add more later if the ghost motivation’s future hits me hard enough, i think doing Lewis’s/Vivi’s perspective of this would be fun! :))
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fangdokja · 2 days ago
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How to Turn ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ Into a Very Literal Situation.
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♡ Book. Whispers in the Dark (WITD): Subtle Devotion, Lingering Shadows.
♡ Word Count. 1,262
♡ TW. dom + top + older yandere, general non-con + manipulation, suggestive themes, fear play, hints at rough play and sex, forced relationship, BDSM
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♡ Yandere! Love Interests who have officially driven you past your limit. Who have ignored every rational warning, every insult, every attempt at reason. Who have pushed you, the most romance-averse, horror-obsessed, emotionally-detached woman alive, into an ultimatum.
♡ Yandere! Love Interests who thought they'd won when you finally turned your attention to them. Who were ready to celebrate, maybe even reward your "acceptance" with something sickly sweet—chains, marriage contracts, a night in their bed. Only to realize that the only thing you've accepted... is that they need to die.
♡ Yandere! Crown Prince who wakes up to find his wine poisoned—a neurotoxin meant to paralyze his lungs while keeping his mind perfectly aware. The slow suffocation, the dawning horror, the perfect revenge you planned so meticulously. And yet—
“Mm, bold of you.” His voice is unshaken, amusement dripping from every syllable as he sits up effortlessly. He lifts the goblet, swirling the poisoned liquid with appreciation. “You really thought I’d fall for this?” He leans close, fingers gripping your jaw. “How adorable.”
Before you can recoil, he crushes his lips to yours. A searing, bruising kiss, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth—
And then he exhales.
Your lungs seize. Your limbs go weak. The world spins as the very poison you crafted seeps into you from his breath alone. He pulls away, watching with satisfaction as you collapse, muscles useless, body unresponsive.
“Poison immunity is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?” he muses, stripping off his gloves. “Now, my dear, let’s make the most of your current state.” He shoves your body onto the bed, languidly unbuckling his belt. “You wanted me helpless. Instead, you’ll be the one at my mercy.” He drags your legs apart, his fingers pressing into the soft flesh of your thighs. “Don’t worry, you’ll feel everything.” His breath fans over your ear, a cruel chuckle following. “You just won’t be able to move.”
———
♡ Yandere! Archduke who wakes up in the middle of the night to the sensation of something cold pressing against his throat. A wire—thin, near-invisible, designed to slice through arteries with just the right amount of tension. You’re behind him, grip steady, eyes glinting with exhaustion and hatred.
He smirks. “Creative. Most would simply try a dagger.” His voice is too steady. Too calm. And that’s when you notice the way his muscles flex, a second too late to react as he twists in place, wrapping the garrote around his own wrist to yank you forward.
He pins you against the bed, hands pressing you down by your wrists. He’s laughing. Actually laughing. “You must really want my attention. Trying to murder me in my sleep? That’s intimacy, my dear.” His fingers brush your pulse, lingering.
“Tell me, did you enjoy the thought of killing me? Did it make you feel powerful?” He leans down, pressing a kiss to your pulse point. “I think it’s adorable.”
“How thrilling,” he purrs, tightening the wire around his own neck for show. “Did you enjoy the thought of watching me choke? How precious.”
“Let me return the favor.” His hands encircle your throat, squeezing—just enough to send panic flooding your veins.
“Feel that?” His lips trail over your jaw, his thumbs pressing, teasing the line between breath and suffocation. “Now imagine if I were inside you while doing this.” He grins as you tremble. “Actually, why imagine? Let’s make it reality.”
———
♡ Yandere! Supreme Mage who wakes up buried alive. A perfect plan—you drugged him, dragged his body to the outskirts of the city, buried him six feet under, and reinforced the soil with spells to block his magic. A masterpiece of calculated death.
Which is why, when he knocks on your window that evening, dirt still clinging to his robes, you want to scream.
"You are fascinating," he muses, stepping into your room as if he owns it. "Not even my enemies have gone to such lengths. Did you calculate the oxygen levels? Did you wait for my heartbeat to slow?"
Your hand twitches.
He catches it before you can throw another spell. His grip is loose, barely restraining you.
“Violent little thing,” he murmurs. His voice is low, smooth, like silk drenched in something lethal. “You should know better than anyone—magic is far more effective when cast with intent.”
His other hand raises. Magic surges through the air, thick with power. Your body locks up. Heat pools in your gut, the aftershock of an aphrodisiac spell pressing against your nerves.
Your glare sharpens to something lethal. “Undo it.”
His gaze darkens, and a small, knowing smile plays on his lips.
“Make me.”
Before you can run, your body locks up—his magic binding you in invisible shackles. He steps behind you, fingers tilting your chin up. “Burying me alive was such an intimate thing to do,” he whispers, his breath hot against your ear. “It’s only fair I return the favor.”
The world shifts. Darkness presses in. You realize, too late, he’s woven a new spell—one where you are trapped, suffocating in soil that isn’t there, feeling the weight of it press against your chest.
“You’ll only be freed when I’m satisfied,” he muses, hands slipping beneath your clothes. “And I do hope you struggle. I’d love to see how deep your desperation runs.”
———
♡ Yandere! Demon King who doesn’t flinch when you drive a dagger straight through his chest. You used everything—enchanted silver, a sacred blade, the heart-piercing technique you read in a forbidden grimoire. It should have worked.
He smiles. "Pet. You wound me."
"That was the point."
His fingers wrap around the hilt, yanking it free without hesitation.
The wound heals instantly.
Blood drips from the blade as he turns it toward you.
“You’re trembling.” His voice is mockingly gentle. “Was this your best attempt?”
You don’t move. He watches you, fascinated, his dark eyes gleaming in the dim candlelight.
Then, slowly, he reaches for you.
You step back. He doesn’t let you. His fingers curl around your wrist, his touch unyielding.
“You’d make a lovely queen,” he whispers. “Such a shame you refuse to kneel.”
He steps closer, his sheer presence making the air thin, his eyes gleaming with something ancient, something terrifyingly patient.
“Let me show you what demons do to naughty little mortals who try to kill them.”
The blade clatters to the ground as he yanks you into his grasp, tearing fabric, exposing flesh. “You wanted me dead?” His voice is a purr against your throat. “Then scream like you’re dying.”
And then he devours you whole.
────────────
If you want to be added or removed from the tag list, just comment on the MASTERLIST of Whispers in the Dark (WITD): Subtle Devotion, Lingering Shadows. Thank you.
General TAG LIST of “Whispers In The Dark”: @keisocool , @elvabeth , @elloredef , @mjsjshhd , @lem-hhn , @yuki-istired , @lilyalone
❤︎ Fang Dokja's Books.
♡ Book 1. A Heart Devoured (AHD): A Dark Yandere Anthology ♡ Book 2. Forbidden Fruits (FF): Intimate Obsessions, Unhinged Desires. ♡ Book 3. World Ablaze (WA) : For You, I'd Burn the World. ♡ Book 4 [you are here]. Whispers in the Dark (WITD): Subtle Devotion, Lingering Shadows. ♡ Book 5. Ink & Insight (I&I): From Dead Dove to Daydreams.
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bueckets · 1 day ago
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Textbook Chemistry | Preview
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Pairing: paige x tutor!reader
Description: What you thought would look good on your resume turns out to be a weekly exercise in restraint, where Paige Bueckers treats biology like a game she can win through sheer charm, and you try—try—not to let her get under your skin. She’s got no notes, no shame, and apparently no real fear of academic failure, just endless confidence and a talent for turning even the most basic study session into getting under your skin—in all the right ways.
Preview WC: 3.1k
The library is way too quiet. The kind of quiet that makes your own breathing sound deafening, where every shuffle of paper or tap of a pen echoes like a gunshot. It’s the kind of silence that should be perfect for studying. Should be.
Except Paige Bueckers is sitting across from you, and Paige Bueckers doesn’t give a single shit about studying.
Instead, she’s leaned back in her chair like she’s lounging courtside instead of being one bad test score away from academic probation. She’s got her long legs stretched out beneath the table, sneakers tapping lazily against the floor. Her hoodie—way too oversized for someone whose entire existence is dedicated to agility and precision—is slouching off one shoulder, and she’s twirling a pen between her fingers like she’s dribbling down the court with a shot clock winding down. The sleeves are bunched up just enough to show her forearms, strong and lined with faint muscle from years of training, but the only thing working right now is her mouth.
Grinning. Smirking. Teasing. Doing everything but reading the goddamn textbook in front of her.
“Alright, Paige,” you sigh, pushing your notes toward her for what has to be the third time. “We need to focus. You will fail this class if you don’t start studying.”
Paige doesn’t even blink. Doesn’t move an inch beyond a lazy stretch that makes her hoodie ride up just slightly, flashing the waistband of her shorts. Her smirk deepens like she can feel you noticing.
“Yeah,” she drawls, tilting her head, “but then I’d have to take it again next semester. Which means more quality time with my favorite tutor.”
You stare at her. She stares back. The kind of look that feels like a staredown before tip-off except way less athletic and way more are you seriously this insufferable?
She holds the eye contact, easy as anything, while you struggle to remind yourself that she is only your student, not a professional flirt sent to ruin your life. Her eyes gleam in the dim library lighting, playful and sharp at the same time. Her lashes are unfairly long, brushing against her cheeks when she finally blinks.
Your heart rate picks up. Not from that. From the academic crisis happening right now. Obviously.
“You’re not failing on purpose, right?” You narrow your eyes suspiciously.
Paige tilts her head, pretending to ponder, lips pursing slightly. “Hmm. No, but if I did, would that be kinda cute?”
You groan dramatically, dragging a hand down your face. “I am this close to committing academic misconduct and just taking the test for you.”
Paige gasps. Actually gasps, pressing a hand to her chest in faux offense. “Wow. I knew med school was intense, but I didn’t realize you were out here ready to commit federal crimes.”
“That’s it,” you announce, pushing back from the table. “I’m done. I quit. Find someone else to teach you about mitochondria.”
You barely make it an inch before Paige reaches across the table and hooks two fingers around your wrist, tugging you back down like you weigh nothing. Her grip is firm, all strength and control—like she’s grabbing a rebound, like she’s got her hands on the game ball in overtime. Your pulse jumps again, this time definitely because of that.
Her fingers linger for a second longer than necessary before she releases you. But she’s still watching you, expression softening just slightly around the edges. “C’mon, stay,” she says, voice lower now, like a secret. “I promise I’ll actually pay attention this time.”
You cross your arms. “Oh? And what changed?”
She leans forward this time, elbows on the table, chin propped on one hand. The lighting catches the sharp angles of her cheekbones, the curve of her jaw. She’s smiling, but it’s something different now—something slower. 
“Figured out that if I fail,” she murmurs, eyes locked on yours, “I won’t have an excuse to see you anymore.”
Your brain does a full system reboot. Error. What the fuck did she just say?
“Wh—Paige.”
She just winks, sinking her teeth iinto her bottom lip for half a second before her grin spreads, slow and satisfied. “What? That was cute, right?”
You grab your pen and point it at her accusingly. “You are so goddamn lucky you’re good at basketball, because if you had to rely on your brain—”
“I’d still get by,” she interrupts smoothly, shooting finger guns at you. “People tend to go easy on the charming ones.”
Your mouth actually falls open. Not on purpose—just an involuntary reaction to the sheer, unbelievable audacity of this girl. She’s failing biology, hasn’t written down a single note, and still has the goddamn nerve of a mathlete coasting through an easy A.
You snap your jaw shut, you refuse to let her see how flustered you are. You refuse. “Okay, charming one, then explain the process of cellular respiration.”
Paige squints, lips pressing together as she sucks in a breath through her teeth, nose scrunching like she’s really trying to make something shake in that head of hers. “Uh… it’s when cells… respire?”
You pinch the bridge of your nose, inhaling slowly through your teeth. “We are so, so fucking doomed.”
She just laughs, kicking her feet out beneath the table, accidentally knocking her knee against yours. “Relax,” she says, her grin widening. “You love tutoring me.”
“Do I?”
“Yeah,” she nods, completely sure of herself. “You totally have a little crush on me.”
You let out a dry, incredulous laugh—one of those sharp, breathy ones, all eyebrows raised and head bobbing. “Yeah, sure.”
She shrugs, tapping a finger against the open page of her biology textbook like she might actually start paying attention. Then, without looking up—
“Nah, I know.”
You blink. Paige blinks back.
The air between you tightens like a taut shoelace, pulling, pulling—dangerously close to snapping. You could be the bigger person here. You could roll your eyes, let it go, return to the noble pursuit of keeping Paige Bueckers from academically imploding.
But something about the way she’s looking at you—too smug, too sure—strikes a competitive nerve in you. And you’re not about to lose anything to her. Not a game, not a staredown, and sure as hell not a battle of wits.
So you shift in your chair, tilting your head, letting your lips curl just slightly. “Oh, you know?”
Paige leans back again, arms crossed, shoulders loose. She’s cocky, sure, but there’s something anticipatory in her gaze—like she knows you’re about to challenge her and she’s thrilled about it.
“Mhm.” She nods, casual as ever. “Crystal clear.”
You hum, feigning thoughtfulness, tapping a finger against the open textbook. “Wow. Must be nice. I thought you struggled with retention, but here you are, remembering things that have literally never been said.”
She gasps. “Rude.”
“You’ll get over it,” you deadpan.
Paige, of course, does not let it go. She tips her chin up, meeting your gaze with something wicked and playful tangled in the blue of her eyes. “Okay, fine. You don’t have a little crush on me.”
You exhale, relieved.
“But you definitely think about me when I’m not around.”
Your breath catches. Paige sees it. Her grin stretches wider, knowing, smug.
Oh, you are not letting her have this.
You scoff, shifting back in your chair, fighting the warmth creeping up your spine. “Paige, you are in my life solely because you can’t pass basic biology. I think about you in the same way people think about a fire alarm that won’t stop beeping.”
“Ah, so constantly?”
You scowl.
She beams.
“That’s fair,” Paige shrugs, stretching her arms over her head, and the movement makes her hoodie ride up again, flashing a sliver of tanned stomach. “I am pretty unforgettable. Even when I’m annoying.”
“Especially when you’re annoying,” you mutter.
Paige smirks, but then, as if sensing your growing frustration, she sighs dramatically, rolling her eyes and dragging her textbook closer. “Alright, fine. I’ll study.”
You narrow your eyes. “For real?”
She winks. “Scout’s honor.”
“Paige, you were never a scout.”
“Prove it.”
You sigh but relent, watching as she flips open the book and actually—miraculously—starts reading the page in front of her. You take a sip of your now-cold coffee, reveling in the small victory.
For a blissful forty-five seconds, Paige is silent. Then—
“So, like,” she starts, “mitochondria. That’s the powerhouse of the cell, right?”
You pause. Blink. Lower your coffee. “Yes?”
Paige throws her hands in the air. “Let’s gooo. I’m a genius.”
You groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Paige, you have three weeks until your exam. We need to cover way more than that.”
“Okay, okay,” she soothes, putting her hands up in surrender. “Next question.”
You flip to another page, glancing up briefly to make sure she’s paying attention.
She’s not.
She’s looking at you.
You pause, caught off guard by the way she’s watching you—not with teasing amusement or lazy smugness, but with something softer. Warmer. Curious.
“Paige,” you warn, shifting uncomfortably.
She blinks, then grins again, but there’s something slightly less sharp about it now. “Nothing, nothing,” she mutters, shaking her head, flipping a page in her book. “Just thinking.”
You hesitate, unsure if you want to ask, what about? But you don’t.
Instead, you clear your throat, turning your attention back to the book. “Okay. Explain the process of osmosis.”
Paige tilts her head dramatically. “Is that, like, when you just chil through life and things come to you naturally?”
“Oh my god, no,” you deadpan.
She grins. “Damn. Thought I was onto something.”
You sigh, rubbing your temples. “We are so fucked.”
Paige just laughs, bright and easy. “Nah. You’d never let me fail.”
She says it like it’s a fact. Like she knows, without a doubt, that you’d never let hers fall behind.
And the worst part is she’s most definitely right.
She twirls her pen between her fingers, spinning it effortlessly like a basketball rolling off the tips of her hands. It’s hypnotizing, actually—the smooth rotations, the lazy way her fingers flick with just enough control to keep it from dropping. She’s been doing this for the last ten minutes, and not once has she even pretended to read the page in front of her.
Meanwhile, you’re hunched over your notes, taking deep, steadying breaths. You tell yourself you won’t let her test your patience today. You won’t get dragged into her game. You won’t—
“Paige,” you say, voice strained.
“Hm?” she replies, still flipping her pen effortlessly.
“Please read.”
Paige hums noncommittally. Turns a page without reading it.
You inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. “Paige.”
She finally looks up, resting her chin on her palm, eyes bright with amusement. “What? I’m absorbing information. Through osmosis.”
You close your eyes, count to three. Consider what your life would be like if you had literally any other tutoring assignment.
“You are so lucky you’re athletic,” you mutter, flipping the page back to where she was actually supposed to start reading. “C’mon. Photosynthesis. What do you know?”
Paige stretches her arms behind her head, her hoodie riding up slightly—distractingly—before she drops back down with a smirk, looking at you like she’s about to deliver the most groundbreaking scientific revelation of all time.
“Plants… make food?”
Your eyelid twitches.
“Correct,” you deadpan. “And they do that through—”
“The power of love,” Paige interrupts, placing a hand over her chest. “And sunlight.”
You grip the edge of the table. Consider flipping it over. “Yes. Because that’s what biology is. Disney magic and good vibes.”
Paige grins. “Exactly.”
You open your mouth—probably to unleash a scathing lecture about the sanctity of science—when a shadow hovers at the edge of the table. You glance up—because you always have to glance up when people stop by your study sessions with Paige—and find a girl, probably a freshman, clutching her phone like it’s a sacred artifact.
She shifts on her feet, looking like she’s debating whether she should even speak to Paige. You can already see where this is going.
“Uh, sorry to interrupt,” the girl says, eyes darting between you and Paige, before ultimately landing—unsurprisingly—on Paige. “Could I, um, get a picture? If that’s okay?”
Paige doesn’t miss a beat. She shifts effortlessly from Slacker Paige to Cool Superstar Paige, flashing an easy grin as she leans back in her chair like she expected this. Like this is as common as someone asking her to pass the salt at dinner.
“Of course,” she says, voice warm, inviting, polished. She stands smoothly, rolling her shoulders back, exuding that same relaxed confidence she has right before sinking a step-back three.
You, meanwhile, remain seated, taking a slow sip of your coffee, already resigned to your fate as Paige Bueckers’ unofficial designated library bodyguard.
It’s routine at this point. The public adoration, the excited stammering, the sheepish thank you so much before they rush off like they just met royalty. And then Paige slides back into her chair, knocking her knee against yours like she doesn’t have an entire fan club scattered across campus.
“Where were we?” she asks casually, flipping her pen again.
You don’t even blink. “You were pretending to study, and I was contemplating my life choices.”
Paige snorts. But before she can respond, another person approaches.
You glance up again, already prepared, already so tired.
This time, it’s a guy—tall, student-athlete vibes, definitely not looking at you.
“Hey, sorry,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly nervous despite the fact that Paige is already smiling at him like they’re old friends. “Could I get a picture real quick?”
Paige grins. “Yeah, of course.”
You take another sip of your coffee. Stare blankly into the abyss.
Same process. Paige stands, poses, flashes her million-dollar smile. The guy stammers out a thanks and hurries off.
You exhale. Set your coffee down. “You done?”
Paige barely has time to smirk before two more people shuffle up, practically vibrating with excitement.
She notices your unimpressed expression and loses it, biting her lip to keep from laughing. “Okay, now it’s funny,” she murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear.
“Now it’s funny?” you echo flatly.
She grins. “Yeah. You look miserable.”
You scowl. Paige beams.
Another five minutes pass before the final wave of admirers disperse, and Paige—finally—sinks back into her chair, looking far too pleased with herself.
“I should start charging,” she jokes.
You arch a brow. “Should I start charging? I’m the one sitting here like an unpaid security detail.”
Paige grins, drumming her fingers against the table. “You could be my manager, you know. We’d be an iconic duo.”
You scoff. “We’re not even an iconic study group.”
“Yet,” she corrects.
You roll your eyes but, reluctantly, glance at the time. The session should go another thirty minutes, but between Paige’s inability to focus and her impromptu meet-and-greet, you’re pretty much out of patience.
“Fine,” you sigh, shutting your book. “We’ll pick this up next time.”
Paige fist-pumps like she just nailed a game-winner. “Let’s go.”
You raise a hand. “But—”
Paige groans.
“You actually have to study next time,” you warn, pointing a finger at her like a parent scolding a child. “No excuses. No distractions. No impromptu fan club meetings.”
Paige nods solemnly. “Of course. One hundred percent. Fully locked in.”
You squint at her. “You’re lying to my face.”
She grins. “Yeah. But I did it really well.”
You let out a slow breath, collecting your things, already knowing that next time will be just as chaotic. But, somehow, you don’t hate the idea.
You barely make it two steps out of the library before Paige falls into step beside you, hands tucked into the front pocket of her hoodie, head tilted toward you like she’s waiting for something.
You don’t say anything.
Neither does she.
But she’s still there, walking at your exact pace, still spinning that damn pen between her fingers like she’s making it her personal mission to erode the last of your patience.
After half a block of this nonsense, you finally huff. “Why are you still here?”
Paige smirks, eyes twinkling. “Wow. I thought we were friends, and you hit me with why are you still here? I think I need to sit down. That was devastating.”
You resist the urge to shove her into a trash can. “You should sit down. With a biology textbook.”
“That,” she sighs dramatically, “sounds like a you problem.”
You groan, but the corners of your lips twitch—just slightly.
She glances at you again, side-eyeing, like she’s waiting for you to say something else. You don’t. So, instead, she nudges your arm with her elbow.
“You heading back to your dorm?”
“Yep,” you say, adjusting the strap of your bag. “Where some people go to actually study.”
Paige grins. “Fun. I was gonna hit the gym.”
You pretend to be shocked. “No way. The gym? You? Unheard of.”
She chuckles. “Yeah, yeah. Crazy concept. Gotta keep these knees in top shape so I can keep playing dumb for you in the library.”
You roll your eyes, but your lips do twitch again.
When you reach the intersection where you usually part ways, Paige hesitates—just slightly. Her foot taps against the pavement, and she glances at you, like there’s something she wants to say but doesn’t.
But then the crosswalk light changes, and she just flashes her usual grin. “Alright, I’ll see you next time. Can’t wait to waste more of your valuable time.”
You shake your head, already walking away. “You are a waste of my valuable time.”
Paige calls after you, voice dripping with smug amusement. “Admit it! You’d be bored as hell without me!”
You don’t respond. Maybe, just maybe, she has a point.
Comment below for taglist. Thank you for reading.
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chrissturnsfav · 2 days ago
Note
i’ve been summoned ☝️ ok hear me out here, fuckgirl!reader is flirting with him like always and then he gets a boner… up to u if she notices or not !!
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 loser!matt gets a little excited around fuckgirl!reader
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you’re sitting in matt’s beat-up old car, legs crossed on the passenger seat, leaning back with a joint dangling between your fingers.
the windows are fogged up, a hazy cocoon of smoke and the faint smell of cigarettes and cologne—matt’s signature scent, clinging to everything he touches. he doesn’t like to smoke weed, never has, but you got him to take a hit tonight. one hit. big deal. baby steps.
he's in the driver’s seat, slouched like he’s got nowhere better to be, one arm draped lazily over the wheel, the other flicking ash out his window.
his lips curl slightly when he catches you staring. not a full smile, but enough to make you grind your teeth. this smug dick knows exactly what he’s doing.
"what?" he asks, voice low, smooth, teasing.
you blow smoke in his direction, grinning. "nothing. just thinking how you keep pretending you don’t wanna fuck me."
his eyes flick over to you, dark and steady, but he doesn’t bite. doesn’t rise to your taunt, never does. that’s the thing about matt—calm, cool, untouchable. a challenge. you love it, even though it's incredibly frustrating.
"cute," he says flatly, like it’s not.
you shift, letting your skirt ride up just enough to get a reaction. he notices—of course he does—but he stays cool, that unreadable expression driving you absolutely crazy.
"come onnn," you coo, leaning closer, voice dripping with fake sweetness as you pout at him, stubbing the blunt into an ashtray in his cup holder. "you can’t keep playing hard to get forever."
"who said i’m playing?" he shoots back, eyes flickering down to his crotch just a second too long.
gotcha.
you lean in further, close enough to feel the heat rolling off him, your lips dangerously close to his ear as you snicker tauntingly. "your dick says different, matt."
his jaw tenses. you see a crack in that infuriatingly calm exterior.
he shifts slightly, like he’s trying to hide something, but you’re not stupid. you know exactly what’s happening, and it lights a fire inside you.
"oh," you whisper, biting your lip through a cocky smirk. "looks like i’m finally getting to you."
he exhales slowly, a mix of frustration and something else you can’t quite name. but he doesn’t pull away. doesn’t stop you.
"careful," he warns softly, voice rougher than usual. "you sure you wanna play this game?"
you grin wickedly, loving every second of this rare victory. "oh, baby, i'm already winning this game. don't get it twisted. started winning when you kissed me a few weeks ago."
his eyes narrow, and for a second you wonder if you’ve finally pushed him too far. not that you'd regret it. matt’s the type who thrives on control, always one step ahead. but tonight that grip is slipping, and you can feel it. it's the same exact tension you felt a few weeks ago at that party.
he shifts in his seat, leaning back like he's trying to remind himself who’s in charge.
you know that move. seen it before. but it’s different now. there’s heat bubbling beneath his cool exterior, something that wasn’t there before.
"yeah?" he asks, voice low, smooth.
you nod, biting your lip. "mhmm."
he hums like he doesn’t believe you, like he’s remembering that party a couple of weeks ago when he kissed you and shattered his whole untouchable vibe.
of course that motherfucker blamed that night on the alcohol. but you're not backing down so easily, and you knew that was all a lie.
besides, you love a good challenge.
you see the flicker of that night in his eyes now, the way he looks at your plush lips like he’s weighing his options.
"you're thinking about it, aren’t you?" you taunt, snickering cheekily, leaning closer until your knee brushes his thigh. "how good my lips tasted."
he exhales through his nose, shaking his head with a dry laugh. "cocky."
"mm-mm, confident," you correct, grinning. "there’s a difference, baby."
his tongue darts over his bottom lip, slow and deliberate, and you swear it takes every ounce of self-control inside you not to climb into his lap right then, wanting nothing but to feel his hard tip pressing against your clit through your clothes.
"aw, what’s wrong?" you taunt softly, voice dripping with mock sweetness. "scared you're gonna give in again?"
his jaw tightens, and he huffs out a low laugh through his nose, like he knows what game you’re playing but refuses to let you win outright.
"damn, you're really pushin’ it tonight," he mutters, voice rough, like gravel rolling through his chest.
"am i?" you purr, inching closer until you're practically in his space. your knee brushes his thigh, deliberate this time, and the flicker of tension in his eyes nearly makes you dizzy.
his breath hitches—subtle but not subtle enough to miss.
"yeah," he says low, almost a warning. "you are."
but he doesn't move away. doesn't stop you. and that's when you know you've got him once again.
you tilt your head, biting back a grin. "hmm...what’re you gonna do about it, matt?"
his gaze drops to your mouth for just a second—one fleeting, dangerous second—before snapping back up to meet your eyes.
"thought you liked keeping me on my toes," you tease, voice soft but challenging. "what happened to that whole stupid unbothered vibe?"
"still here," he says, though it sounds more like a lie the longer he holds your gaze.
your grin widens. "doesn't look like it."
you see the exact moment he stops fighting himself—that sharp flicker of decision in his eyes before he moves. suddenly his hand is on your thigh, firm but not rough, heat radiating through your skin like wildfire.
you've got him right where you want him now.
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𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: do not worry, i REPEAT there will be a part two of this where they will be getting freaky, i just want to edge everyone a lil bit hehe
thank you for reading!! <3
tags 🏷️: @sturnobsessedwh0re , @idrk2292 , @mattsbrat , @ribbonlovergirl , @matthewsroses , @mattsdemi , @emely9274 , @frankoceanfanpage , @ifwdominicfike , @marrykisskilled , @strnilolover , @cayleeuhithinknott , @forgottxen , @sophand4n4 , @sturnsrecord , @purpledragon222 , @faiyaz555 , @jocelyncsblog , @freakiolos , @slut4chris888 , @chriss-slutt , @ilovedanielcaesar , @annsx03 , @snoopychris , @chrissweetheart , @slutformatt17 , @mattsturnii , @dominicfikeenthusiast , @mattsbratt333 , @ivysturnss , @tessasturns , @coquettechris , @courta13
@chrissturnsfav ™
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specsthesecond · 3 days ago
Text
°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°
Birds chirp just outside the thick glass windows calling you from a deep sleep. You can see a bit of that light winter sun shine through the curtains, barely enough to brighten the room.
In his room every breath you take smells like him. In his bed the sheets are warm and soft, just like him. The chilly air forces you to burrow further into the covers as you regain consciousness and your muscles begin to stir. You stretch a little, teasing the sleep from your tendons, weighed down by the heavy arm around you. You hear a deep rumble from behind you as your lover stirs but quickly settles back into sleep, snoring softly.
You suddenly have the strong urge to turn around, you can feel him, you can smell him, you can hear him, you just want to see him. You try to turn around as gently as possible, twisting your waist under his arm and trying so hard not to stir your sleeping giant. A memory comes to mind of the first time you woke up in his arms like this, how you almost fell off his chest and he only stirred a little with the motion. Now that you think of it, he was fully awake only a few moments later, just in time to catch you admiring his face, awfully convenient. Your sleepy mind lights up and you eye your lover's sleeping face with new suspicion.
He breathes like he’s asleep, slow and rhythmic. His eyes are closed but he's not snoring anymore. You stare intently at his eyes, looking for any signs of consciousness, while your hands slowly move from his chest up to his shoulders. You take your time admiring him, like the first time except now, instead of being spurred by bewilderment and curiosity, there is actual admiration and love behind the action.
Your fingers flutter up his bare chest as you lean closer on your elbow. You lightly scratch at his stubble and see his lips twitch upwards just the tiniest bit, it breaks a smile onto your face. When your fingers make it to his cheek, you cup the fat there. One of his eyes squint open, trying to go unnoticed but obviously failing when he sees you looking right at him. He quickly shuts his eye again and snorts when he knows he's been caught, and you sit up, pushing him away while laughing, your suspicion now confirmed.
“You bastard!”
You push at his shoulders, and he laughs openly now, a raspy sound, thick with sleep.
“You were awake the whole time, even that first time!”
You shout accusations he doesn't understand, shaking his shoulders in faux anger and genuine embarasment. He finally fights back against your playful pushing by sitting up and wrapping his arm around your waist, also managing to grab a wrist. He brings your hand to his cheek, holding it there as he stared down at you in his lap. He makes it clear he wants you to touch him like that again while he's awake with all the admiration and curiosity you do when you think he's asleep. And you do, combing stray strands of hair from his face then moving down to tentatively touch his pretty tusks. You move in closer to look at the pretty carvings on them, blinking up at his eyes, which stare at your lips lazily. You inch closer and even closer until your lips barely graze his. And then you pull away, barely giving him time to grab for you before you hop off the large bed and dawdle your way to the bathroom.
You snicker as you hear him shout something like the orcish equivalent of “Hey!” You grab a cup and fill it with water from the water barrel in the bathroom, before grabbing the wooden toothbrush you got a while back from a travelling merchant and smearing on some minty herbal toothpaste.
The orc grumbles into the room and you grin at him as he grabs his own toothbrush, which is almost comically bigger than yours. After brushing the sleep off your tongue, you rinse your mouth with the cup of water, it tastes stale but it gets the job done. He does the same but you watch in curiosity as smears on a second glob of toothpaste before he starts brushing his tusks. You don't know why it hasn't occurred to you but it seems obvious now, he clearly takes very good care of them if they look that pretty, with all the careful carvings in the bone coloured ivory.
When he's done you walk to the kitchen, trying to not feel so unfamiliar with his home. The freezing cold tile of the kitchen is starting to feel atleast a little familiar, like the smell of the kitchen; doughy with hints of something earthy you can't name. You shiver as you reach for two mugs from the cupboard you saw him place your mugs in. He yawns and stretches in the doorway, as you look through the draws for a spoon.
He reaches over you to grab his own mug, placing his hand on your waist for an unneeded amount of time and then grabs the kettle placing it over the cast iron. You mull over what to drink, you don't want to drink up all your red tea, who knows when or if you’ll ever get more. Your lover opens another cupboard and pulls out a jar of cream-coloured powder, one brown coloured powder and a jar filled with a golden syrup. You watch him scoop a teaspoon full of the cream-coloured powder into his mug and then a much smaller amount of the brown powder that smells like cinnamon but is definitely not. You’ve realised now what he’s making and you push your mug closer to his, very subtly asking for a cup yourself. He looks down at you, gives you an amused huff and then plops some powder into your cup as well, along with a generous dollop of what is definitely honey.
You barely try to hide how you’re staring at him and you can tell by his slight smile that he can feel it. He finally turns to you when he’s done and leans against the counter, waiting for the kettle to boil. You hesitate for a moment now that you have his attention. Remembering your actions yesterday, he seems to like it when you’re upfront about your desires. You try to remember that as you place your hands on his chest and lean into him, gaze flicking between his eyes and his mouth. He cocks his head in response, even though you both know what you want. For some unknown reason, you can’t will yourself to just ask for a simple kiss, so you try and take it instead. He can’t help but chuckle when you start trying to climb him to reach your prize.
After a few moments of watching you struggle, he places his hands behind your thighs and lifts you up. The sudden movement makes you hit your knee on the kitchen counter and you yelp in pain, rubbing the sore skin while the orc places you on the counter. He looks down at the already bruising skin and bends down to sheepishly kiss the area, looking up at you apologetically with slightly darker cheeks. You laugh and place a hand on his cheek, he looks beautiful from this angle and you express that to him by leaning down to kiss him. He hums into the kiss, hands gently caressing up your thighs. Your hands roam his muscly back as he kisses you until your head is backed up against the cupboards, only allowing him to deepen the kiss further and-
The screaming kettle interrupts your intimacy and he gives an exaggerated sigh. Ignoring your snort he pours the hot water while you help with breakfast preparations.
After you eventually finish breakfast, he sits on the couch and you browse around his bookshelf. You pull a few of the cartography looking ones out and place them on the living room table, getting your pencil ready. He perks up and looks over when you slide over the finished note.
“You draw maps?”
Simple question to start. He nods his head.
You wait for him to write something down and elaborate but he just nods as if that’s the only question he expects you to ask about it. You fumble or a moment and slide the paper back to you, writing;
“Can I see?”
He seems surprised by that, like he didn’t expect you to care or ask about it. He nods and stands up, bringing the pencil and book. You follow him to the bedroom where he stands in front of the large map on the wall, placing the pencil and book down on the desk below it. He looks over to you, like he wants to confirm that you’re actually paying attention, and points to an orcish word on the map near the middle, gesturing to himself and the ground.
You light up a little and say,
“That's here?”
While gesturing down, he nods his head looking pleased that you understood and that he understood at least your gesture if not your words. He then points towards a point near the far right edge of the map, and points to you. It takes you a moment but when you realise that the bold line separating the two halves of the map is the Human-Orcish boarder, it becomes clear.
“That’s where I lived?”
While gesturing to yourself, he nods again. You look back at the map and notice that much of the right side past the bold line is blank, there's only a dot for your cabin, some trees and a lake.
You now have many questions and you go through them trying to figure out how to word them. When you grab your pencil and page through your translation book, you huff in frustration when you realise your questions are too long and messy to write down. You close the book and point to the lake on the map with your pencil,
“You found me here? When you saved me?”
After a moment he nods,
“Is that why you went past the boarder? You were drawing a map?”
You’d wondered what the hell he was doing just roaming around in human territory. He nods to you and says something about “drawing” while pointing at the area around the lake, then he says something, points to his ear and you catch the word “save”.
So he was mapping out the area, heard the ice crack and you fall in, and decided to bring you back home instead of letting you die. You just stare at the map for a little, as much as you want to berate him for crossing the boarder like that, if he hadn’t been there that day you’d certainly be at the bottom of that lake right now. The thought weighs heavier than you’d like.
You look over the map to try and distract yourself with the thick black inked symbols and sketches. On the far side of the map, deep in orcish territory, it looks like the land just stops. Maybe it’s another boarder or a river within Orc territory that he can’t cross. You point to the squiggly line with a confused face. He scratches his stubble, shrugs and says a word you don’t recognise. You look at him blankly and he huffs a laugh. He says a different word you don’t know, moving his hand up and down like he’s mimicking a snake or something. You still clearly don’t understand and he grabs the translation book, paging through it and pointing out a word for you.
“Sea”
You stare at the word in disbelief, that can’t be true, you’ve only ever heard stories of the sea. You look back at the map with scrunched eyebrows, It’s further away from his house than the distance between your house and his but that can only be half a days walk at most. There’s no way you spent your whole life not knowing the sea was a couple hours hike from your home. You look up at him and shake your head, and he just nods back to you. You cross your arms and fully turn to face him, looking a lot more serious. He fumbles a little at the earnestness on your face and gently takes the pencil from your fist, writing in the notebook.
“I can show you.”
You read it and soften a bit, nodding your head. You wonder if it looks like the drawings you’ve seen in books or if it really tastes as salty as they say.
The next hour or so is spent making lunch to carry with you to your destination. You pack the hard dough bread, berries and some dried meats into his rucksack and meet your lover in the living room. He tries not to laugh when you write to him asking if he’s sure it’s the actual sea and not a very big lake. He has a smaller map with him, one of just a small portion of orcish territory, he shows you the map and points towards where he’s drawn three little circles on the map that lie between his house and the alleged sea. He then points to his notebook which says,
“First bath then beach and lunch!”
You look at his written words then back at the map, so those three circles are little lakes? or maybe ponds? You suppose it might be warm enough to bathe but to hike what must be a couple of hours right after a cold bath is a bit drastic. You could absolutely do with a good clean though, you haven’t bathed since before you fled your home and a lot has happened since then. Your lover stands at the door, shoving his boots on and checking if he has everything he needs. You tuck the two books safely into your coat as you walk out the door into the chill outdoor air.
The sun tries it’s best to shine through the clouds as you walk amongst the trees, the ground snow has melted somewhat making traversing the landscape a bit easier. You’re walking behind the massive orc, staring at the neatly drawn map in your hands. You’ve found out you aren’t the best at reading maps as it turns out. Your lover very graciously had to reorientate the map in your hands multiple times and that didn’t even help you read it any better.
You’ve been walking a while and you have no idea where you are on this damn map. You hear your lover say something and you hum in acknowledgement still trying to read his map, until he moves your chin up and right in front of you is a beautiful steaming hot spring. Three little hotsprings actually, attached to a rocky incline in the forest ground. You look down at the map and then up again and then to your lover who lets out a very amused laugh.
You follow him to the nearest spring and dip your hand in, gasping as the hot water shocks your cold skin. You waste no time undressing, your lover doing the same, you step into the water and let out a genuine moan as the hot water seeps into your frost bitten bones. When your love steps into the pool the water overflows with his sheer mass making you laugh lighly.
He pulls a block of soap out of his pack and starts rubbing himself down with it, clearly this is his usual bathing arrangement which is a massive improvement from the freezing lake next to your cabin. The bastard, no wonder he has such soft skin and hair, especially for a damn woodsman. You scoff at him and he just gives you a confused look to which you shake your head and motion for him to pass the soap. Soon you feel cleaner than you have in a long, long time as you scrub the grime off your body, the sticky sweaty feeling finally being washed away.
The orc smiles endearingly at his lover, clearly pleased that you’re enjoying your hot bath so much. He unties his hair from the loose half bun it’s been in since he woke up and starts washing the thick mane. He pulls a wooden comb out his pack and starts untangling the strands. You’d heard that orcs take pride in their hair, you assumed this must have been to signal wealth or higher class or something. Your lover would have no use in that though so there must be some other reason? Maybe he’s just particular about hygiene. You’re completely unaware of how unabashedly you’re staring at him as you become lost in these thoughts. It doesn't go unnoticed by him though, he smiles at the thought of having to get used to it.
You watch him brush the comb through his hair, stretching to try and reach some troublesome knots in the back. You nudge closer and motion for him to give you the comb to which he hesitates. You retract your outstretched hand and look at him questioningly. You can’t parse his expression, surprised, hesitant, bashful maybe? When you’re about to shift away from him he reaches out and puts the comb in your hand. You move slowly behind him, a little worried by his earnestness at what you perceived as a simple gesture.
You gently untangle his knots, patiently brushing the twisted strands until they come free. He hums in thanks whenever you smooth the comb across his scalp after a successful untangling. You both enjoy the quiet atmosphere, its always like this with him, calm and comfortable. No pressure to entertain or engage, as if just existing near each other is all the comfort needed.
Your shoulders and breasts are exposed to the cold air and as you finish up brushing down the now tangle free locks a breeze blows past that makes your whole body shiver. You plunge back into the hot water and your orc looks back at you and chuckles. You click your tongue, of course he doesn’t feel the cold, the hot blooded bastard. You curl your arms around him from behind, pushing your perked nipples into his back. You feel him tense but you know it’s not because of the cold. You run your hands up and down his stomach and chest. It seems admiring your lovers body is becoming a frequent past time of yours.
He grunts a little when your hands wonder lower, following the black hair on his stomach as it thickens further down. He places a hand on yours as a gentle warning, as if you don’t know what you’re doing. You place your cheek against his warm back and reach deeper until you finally touch the base of his cock. He sighs as you wrap your hand around him, and thank the gods he can’t see your face. He might not have appreciated the look of absolute shock and a little horror on your face. It’s not your fault, your hand barely fits around him! You knew he was going to be big, obviously, but that’s just frightening. He groans low, and you realise you’ve kept your hand still for far too long, unintentionally teasing the poor guy.
You slowly move your hand up, one slow stroke all the way up his length and you are once again shocked by the size of him. You swore it didn’t feel that huge when you were grinding against him the other night. When you finally reach the head you stroke your thumb across the tip and he lets out a whine. A rather high pitched noise for an orc like him, not unlike the whines he made when you both came in your underwear on his living room floor.
He covers his mouth with a wet hand and the action makes you confused. You swipe your thumb across his tip again trying to get another sound from him. He shivers once more but any sound he makes is smothered by his hand, robbing you of any sweet whines. You huff indignantly and when you’re about to move your hand again he catches it and keeps it still on his cock, breathing into his hand. You’re somewhat puzzled by his embarrassment, especially since he was the one who quelled your anxieties the first time. You have to do the same for him and apparently your version of easing his apprehension was to pull the sounds out of him by force. With the hand he wasn’t holding you reached down past his cock and cupped his massive sack in your hand.
He lets out a rather high pitched yelp and his whole body jolts up at the no doubt unfamiliar touch. You burst out laughing and as he splashes water at you which does nothing to smother your laugh. He gives an incredulous look, you can only wheeze in response, which makes him splash more water at you as if that will hide his dark green cheeks. You wade over to him, saying apologies before being pulled up abruptly into his arms, your top half once again being exposed to the cold as he grumbles and hides his hot face in your chest. You can tell he isn’t really upset but you still feel bad, this gentle love doesn’t come easy to you like it seems to for him and it probably never will. You run your hands through his hair and mumble apologies to him,
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you, my love, I was trying to do the opposite. I’m sorry.”
You know he doesn’t understand what you’re saying but you know he likes it when you speak to him in your language. He gazes up at you from between your tits and you smile down at him. You hesitate before attempting an apology in orcish, which makes him huff a laugh into your skin and clutch you closer. Does this mean your forgiven? He runs his massive hands all the way down from your waist to your knees and back up. You smile down at him, having this massive orc make himself smaller so he can look up at you like this, it makes you feel so…wanted? loved? worthy? You don’t know the word but it makes your heart sing.
Another breeze blows by and you shiver again, nipples hardening and skin prickling up with goosebumps. The orc snickers at you from below, reaching up to oh so gently stroke a hardened nipple with his thumb. You shiver and keen, before you even realise it your hand shoots up to cover your mouth and you only realise this when you see the very smug look on his face. He's exposed you as a hypocrite without even saying anything.
You try and push him away in irritation but he holds you against him, slowly pulling you down until the water reaches your chest and you’re straddling him. You feel something against your stomach and you freeze. Actually feeling his cock against you, so close to your pussy stirs such a blazing heat in your stomach you think you must be sick for a second.
You look down and feel your breath hitch at the massive cock just below the surface of the water, it rests just above your belly button, hot and hard. You notice that he isn’t touching you any more and you look up to see he’s avoiding looking at you and his hands rest at his thighs. You lean up and place a hand on his cheek, he finally looks at you and you can tell he feels bad. Why? You have no idea. Is he ashamed or just shy? Is it something else? You move your body even closer to his, and mutter a little “It’s ok.” Not sure what else to say or how to convey it.
You think he gets the meaning by how you say it. He lets you push him down gently until his back is resting in the edge of the spring, head being supported by the big smooth rocks laid there. You place his hands on your hips and settle your weight down, his cock now pushing your pussy lips apart. You both moan, finally feeling the direct skin to skin contact has your brain buzzing and his too it seems.
You move slowly, dragging your pussy up the length of his cock, feeling the girth under you as you grind up his entire length. When you reach the tip you circle your hole around it, teasing the entrance with something you know you can’t take, at least not yet. He hisses and bites his lip, trying to hold himself back again and the action makes you sad.
You lean down, squishing your chest against his and wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging him close. You nuzzle into his cheek, kissing from his ear to his tusk and looking him in the eye when you grind lightly into his tip, breath catching when the tip brushes your clit. You moan, as unabashedly as you can manage, trying to show him that you aren’t embarrassed by how good he makes you feel and that he doesn't have to be embarrassed by how good you make him feel either.
You lean forward and let him seal the kiss, letting his hot tongue mix with yours as you share moans and taste each others desires. You grind harder, longer thrusts up and down his cock, gradually speeding up as both your needs grow and your holds tighten.
He gets more confident with leading you, his hands on your thighs helping you grind down on him as the water sloshes and spills over with every thrust. He guides your hips up and down his shaft while jerking his hips in time. You both work in tandem, mouths never leaving each other for too long, you share hot breathes and groans as the pleasure rises each second. You clutch onto his shoulders and he grips your hips, both of you now feverishly humping one another, release so close.
All it takes is a few more well timed thrusts, his tip catches your clit and the forest is filled with the sounds of your shared ecstasy. You clench and shake against his cock as he thrusts against you, holding you so close, releasing his spend in the water with another loud grown. You both twitch and heave, bodies squished together, reeling from your orgasms. Your lover rests his head against the smooth rocks, breaths hot and thick in the chilly air. You look down and notice the now murky water below you and you let out a tired laugh, you’ll have to rinse off of in one of the other pools.
You lay there in the steamy water as the sensitive quiver in your pussy simmers into a dull ache. After a minute you sigh and lift yourself up before being immediatly thwarted by your lover who just grumbles, almost growls, and squeezes you closer to his chest. He makes it very clear that you’re not moving until he is done with his post sex cuddles. You have no choice but to comply, resting against your orcs chest watching the steam evaporate off his skin.
When you're finally done in the hot springs, your fingers are pruney but your muscles are relaxed. You had to get dried and dressed rather quickly with the volatile late winter air seeping into your skin the moment you stepped out of the heavenly hot water, as if the winter is offended that you tried to get warm at all. You wrap your hair in a cloth and cover it with your fur coat, lest the cold freeze down to your brain. Of course your orc lover doesn’t seem to mind as much as you do, simply tying his drying hair into a bun and throwing up the hood of his coat as if it were a mildly cold spring day.
Your lover takes then reins with the map this time and you walk for awhile more, until you notice the air smells different, more salty, and you can hear unfamiliar bird squawks. Your lover quickly turns around and motions for you to cover your eyes with your hands, you give him a blank look leading him to huff and do it himself. Covering your eyes with one hand and leading you with the other, you walk up an incline and then stop at the flattened top. He says something in orcish and then removes his hand, and you are completable and utterly speechless.
Blue. An incomprehensibly large amount of blue, as far as the eye can see and far beyond that. It moves and churns, little white waves in the distance and huge rolling ones crashing on the shore. It completely takes your breath away, the sound of the waves, the smell of sea salt, there’s even a portion of the sky where the clouds break and the endless blue sky meets the endless sea. The orc chuckles light-heartedly at your reaction and starts putting down a blanket and setting up lunch. You're so overcome with excitement you can’t even stop yourself from tackling him onto the blanket and giving him the biggest fattest kiss you can muster through your smile. You separate with a smack and he laughs dizzily. All this time such a beautiful sight has been a few hours from your home and you never knew it, all because of some damn boarder.
You spend hours there, munching on sandwiches, writing notes, watching the birds fly over the crashing waves. One of them tries to steal your sandwich when you get too distracted with your lover and you had to chase it down while he laughed. He takes you down to the sand and convinces you to step into the incoming waves which were even colder than you expected. He laughs at the face you make when you taste the salty water on your fingers. You pick up common shells and show them to him as if they’re rare gems. You carve symbols into the sand and watch them get washed away.
At the end of it you both sit on the grassy hill overlooking the beach, watching the sunset over the horizon.
You wonder what other wonders of the world you have yet to see.
°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°❆⋆.ೃ࿔:・°
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aangelinakii · 3 days ago
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SAYING SOMETHING STUPID.
— and then you go and spoil it all.
summary : you and jason have been dating for a year, and although both of you know it, neither of you have said the dreaded L word. what happens when, accidentally, the truth comes out?
note : technically zimtsterne are christmas cookies so pretend like this is a christmas time fic
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despite the countless beatings he took each and every night, jason's forearm was already beginning to ache. you had him whisking egg whites until they looked like snowy mountains, but not too mountainous, you'd said.
"where did you find this recipe again?" he hummed, not wanting to take his eyes off the bowl he was attempting to whisk at a flash-speed. beside him at the counter, of which he'd stepped away from to allow you more space, you were mixing ground almonds, cinnamon and powdered sugar into a dough. "what even is a zim— zimt—"
"zimtsterne."
"yeah, that."
"i found it online," you responded, barely taking your eyes off your almost-mixture. once jason would whisk the egg whites into soft peaks, you'd add half to your dough and it would be ready to cut into star shapes.
"online?" jason snickered, bumping your hip lightly with his. "you heard it on that game you play, didn't you? what was it again... choices?"
before you could get a handle on yourself, your eyes rolled almost back into your head. at this, you whipped your head over your shoulder to cast a very meaningful look to your boyfriend. "i only play it to get diamonds. i don't even use them, i just want to reach ten thousand just in case."
"how many do you have now?" he asked in return, looking back down at his white foamy mixture.
with a soft munch on the gum of your cheek, you turned back to your own bowl sheepishly. "more than ten thousand."
from behind, jason's warm laugh hummed through the kitchen. soft footsteps approached from behind, and his broad figure ghosted against your back. at once, a muscular arm, as well as his bowl, came into your vision. "this good enough?"
in the bowl, much faster than you would've been able to, jason had whisked the three egg whites cracked in there into soft peaks, leaving a little fluffy curl when you pulled the metal whisk out of the mixture. "perfect!" you grinned in return, taking the bowl in your own hands and scooping half the egg whites into what you'd so far made from the ground almonds.
watching you scoop and mix, scoop and mix, jason leaned back against the counter, hands resting on the edge, the veins pronounced on the back of the hand he'd used to whisk. "you're not gonna ask me to do any more whisking, are you?"
a soft chuckle brushed past your lips as you placed the bowl of egg whites back on the counter, and resumed stirring the zimtsterne mixture. "not today, you lucky boy," which earned an uncertain smile from jason.
"i liked that," he hummed bashfully.
"what, being lucky boy?"
jason gave an uncharacteristic laugh, his body swaying slightly against the counter. "maybe."
when you'd started dating, jason todd had never been an outwardly affectionate type; it took a few months for him to finally be willing to hold your hand in public. he was so used to suppressing his feelings, his affections, that it was certainly a challenge to get him to unlearn certain behaviours. now, a good year in, jason was getting more and more comfortable being the person he truly was.
still, at times, you weren't used to that person, hidden under years of trauma and dirt and grit.
but here he was, presenting himself to you in his cupped hands.
with a laugh matching his own, you paused your stirring for a moment to look up at him. "no more whisking, but i need you to get a tray, put a piece of parchment paper on it, and sprinkle some powdered sugar on the counter."
obedient like a dog gone soft, you could hear the clashing of pots and pans and opening and closing of cupboards behind you, until the cooking tray was placed on the counter beside your bowl, where the batter was coming along nicely.
jason tore off a square bit of parchment paper, and lay it upon the tray, where the corners curled, but otherwise stayed on, then he peeled open the bag of powder sugar. "how much do i put?" he asked, glancing over at you, hand hovering above the flour.
"not too much just yet, but we'll probably have to add more later."
and so his hand disappeared into the bag, and when it reappeared, he sprinkled a good serving of sugar along the countertop.
"perfect," you hummed once again. "next what we're gonna do is take the batter and press it down, then use the star cut-outs."
"we have to put our hands in that?" jason groaned, although playfully, you knew.
with a casual shrug, you began digging your hand into the zimtsterne mixture and pulled out a chunk to roll into a ball in your palms. "i mean, i could always do it by myself — if baking is too difficult for you."
a massive shoulder came into view, and jason's hand dunked into the bowl. "hell no! i can bake."
eyes closely watching the movement of your hands, jason rolled the amount of dough into a ball between his palms. then, once you'd placed your dough on the powdered sugar, pressed it down with the heel of your palm, jason followed suit.
you reached across the counter for the small star cutter, and sunk it down into the dough. "and... there! it's a little cinnamony star."
despite the grit and sheer size of him, in your company, jason todd was small, all soft touches and blush along cheeks.
as you carefully placed your star atop the parchment paper, jason took the small metal cutter in his calloused fingers, skilled in pulling the trigger.
he was careful as he pushed the cutter into the dough, glancing over at you a couple times as though he were doing something wrong.
somehow reading his mind, you reached over, hands placing them atop of his, spreading them in the muck of the dough you'd made, though jason didn't seem to mind; he'd had worse on his hands. "you're doing great," you smiled softly. "to get a clean cut you need to shake it a bit now."
and, with a laugh, your grip on jason's hands tightened slightly, and you helped jiggle the star cutter, separating his little biscuit from the rest of the dough, which you could reuse for another zimtsterne star.
a breath brushing past your ear, jason gave that kind, boyish laugh, and when you glanced over your shoulder, his eyes had halved into crescents, little moon shining down on the kitchen. "this is the strangest thing i've ever done."
perpetual smile by his side, you pulled away and tore the remaining dough from around the cookie cutter, pressing it into a sugared mound to be used again. "put that one next to my star on the tray," you ordered, although kind. "i'm gonna put more sugar down."
with ginger movements, jason lay his dough zimtsterne star down upon the parchment paper, a few inches from the one you'd made. eyeing him for a moment, to make sure his biscuit was far enough away from yours, you dunked your hand into the pink bag of icing sugar.
with a soft smile you made a nice comment on jason's placement; he was just about to reply when everything went white.
it must've caught through the gaps in your fingers while you weren't looking, must've been more than you'd meant to grab, for the powdered sugar hit the sleek countertop, and jumped back up in a whisp.
jason donned a white tuft of hair in his raven normally, but when the sugary fog began to clear, you could barely tell where the original streak ended and where it began.
your powder-covered hand shot to your agape mouth. "holy— that was an accident, i swear!"
his emerald eyes blinked open, sending some more snow-white dust into the air as it bounced off his eyelashes.
in one swift swoop, jason reached up to his blizzard of hair, and stretched out his hand over your face. you didn't need a mirror to know you probably looked like a snowman slapped you — but this action only caused room for ammunition, your dropped jaw setting and clenching as you pulled your arm back and launched.
the remnants of icing sugar in your palm exploded through the air, and whatever didn't land on the floor or counter (and most of the parchment paper) certainly his jason.
you could see in the way he lurched forward, but halted himself, that he was purposely holding back; you'd seen the way he would react when dick or tim tried to one-up him at the dinner table at the wayne family dinners you'd been brought to, or when training. his instincts are primal.
but, beneath the avalanche of icing sugar, his lips thinned. letting out a small sigh, jason shook his head, sending powdered sugar down onto the counter, where you could make your next zimtsterne star.
he gave a joking scoff. "you should be grateful i love you, or else this whole kitchen would be white."
it was a one-off sentence, supposed to be casual as he took the mound of dough in his hand to press flat against the monstrosity of sugar on the countertop. but it caused you to freeze, right in your place, hand gripping the edge of the counter falling slack.
jason hadn't seemed to notice.
he continued palming the dough until it was flat, but thick enough to be carved into a star, and reached for the cutter, content smile etched into his white powdery face.
"what did you say?"
your voice, however, was small.
even after a year now, neither of you had said the words he just had; you knew he had issues with attachment and relationships, so you supposed it just had never crossed your mind that he would... love you.
jason glanced up casually, shaking the star-shaped cookie cutter and placing down the new biscuit on the tray with the others. "oh, i was just saying that you're lucky, because if you were timothy drake, it would be over."
"no, no, you didn't say that." two steps forward, small, uncertain, but curious, aching to hear it again, make sure you weren't dreaming.
you placed a hand on his elbow, urging him to turn and look at you, which left a snowy handprint along his flesh. once he had carefully pushed the dough onto the tray, he placed the metal cut-out back on the counter and turned. "maybe not verbatim, but that's what i meant."
seeing the urgent look in your eyes, his smile faltered, but the lines it had made remained in the sugar.
"you said... you said you love me."
as the words left your lips, jason's eyes widened, and his body shuddered as if to stagger away from you, but your grip on his elbow tightened and didn't allow him.
"jason, is that true?"
beneath the powdered sugar, his bottom lip gave a tremour. "i... i guess i did say that."
your thumb brushed carefully over the bone of his elbow. "it's okay if it's true, i just want to know." trying to convince him he was safe — that you were safe — your voice softened, and you forced your body out of its initial shock.
but he didn't respond, only lips thinning, stare remaining still, like he'd been caught out on a really bad lie.
"i think so," he mused quietly, almost... afraid?
instinctively, your grip tightened once more upon his elbow, and you leaned in, eyebrows raised, a smile widening by the moment. "you love me?" it was spoken more like a song, more like it were an accomplishment than a question.
jason's bottom lip quivered, and when he spoke he sounded rather shaky, but he put on a brave, sugar-covered face. "is there– is there a problem with that?"
not minding the powder on your hands — and you hoped he wouldn't either — you leapt forward, engulfing his tough frame with a hug so tight it was possible all the knots in his back unwound at your touch. jason stumbled back, one sugared arm finding the small of your back and the other taking hold of the counter's edge to stabilise him.
sugar dusted itself along his breastbone, where you pressed your face into him. "oh, i didn't want to scare you away, or say anything i shouldn't," you began, voice extraordinarily muffled, until you pulled away to finish, gazing into his eyes, the only colour besides white on his face. "but i love you, jason. i really, really love you."
feeling suddenly shy at your sudden confession, your fingers toyed absently with the fabric of jason's once-black shirt, and your teeth sank awkwardly into your bottom lip.
but jason didn't hide away; he didn't contort into fear or anger. instead, his body sunk into yours, a warmth comparible to that of the pre-heated oven behind you. any uncertainty in those brilliant eyes of his seeped out through the corners, creating a coccoon of watery sugar beneath his lashes.
one of your hands came away from his back, and lay itself upon his cheek. an equally as powdery thumb swiped carefully beneath his eye — jason didn't even flinch.
all he could think was how stupid he was to have ruined the moment, not even thinking as he spoke, but also that he had finally admitted it out loud, and that you had reciprocated without any semblance of hesitation.
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leafostuff · 15 hours ago
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Practice routine [Ft. Jo Yuri]
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Author Notes: BOOM SURPRISE SMUT, SO SURPRISING EVEN I DIDNT KNOW I WAS GONNA UPLOAD IT TODAY, i had a blast writing this and Jo Yuri did get on my radar lately so i did want to give her a smut of appreciation.
Hope yall will have a Great read and a great day
Ps. No beta readers because :p
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It's a practice routine what you two have.
There is nothing better to build a strong friendship than a vow to help each other build strength and have a healthier lifestyle, especially when your friend is an idol, practicing hard for her next comeback.
Two light knocks on the glass door and it quickly opens, you are greeted by Yuri standing in front of you, wearing a white button shirt and long, black pants paired with an warm, sweet smile as soon as she looks at your eyes. 
“Finally! It took you forever to get here Oppa~” then she grabs your hand, pulling you inside the practice room, wooden floor surrounded by mirrors from almost all sides.
“Yeah, you forgot your company halls are a maze to walk around in,” you say, your hands work on taking your sweater off, leaving you with a basic tee and a pair of sweatpants 
“Well maybe if you came here more often then you wouldn't be so lost” she retorts in a playful manner. “Okay you already got here, lets get started with the session”. She announces before immediately taking her shirt off revealing no bra, giving you a free view of her mounds, her nipples already hard as she asks you. 
“Pants off, Please~”
Well, i never said what type of workout you two enjoyed doing.
“How many reps do you want to do again? 15? 20?” You ask, meanwhile your hands quickly lower the pants and boxers, throwing them off somewhere in the room.
“Hmm, lets do 30, im feeling spicy today” she comments however It's her eyes that tell you her needs before her words. She's looking at you, her smile beaming in excitement with every step you take toward her with your length proud and ready to work.
Yuri now kneels in front of you, face level with your cock as she takes one of her hands, attempting to wrap her fingers around it, her face leaning in close enough to have her lips part wide enough to have your tip rest inside, letting you feel the first tingles of pleasure.
“Readeh?” She mumbles a question while your tip is resting on her plump lips, eyes meeting yours with an ever-so innocent smile, funny given the fact she has you dick ready to be devoured.
You can only respond with a sly grin before saying, “One…” this word is so engraved inside Yuri’s brain that as soon as she hears it she starts letting her mouth take in your cock, getting close to your balls before eventually going back to your tip, and then doing it again, and again, and again.
Right now, the only sounds present in the room are your steady counting, the faint slurping sound of her mouth in the goal of getting you worked up faster and the playful, sweet and muffled moans coming from Yuri. And how does this look? Well you can't say you are less than aroused seeing how the mirrors around the room portray her taking care of your cock so well, it's filthy yet at the same time, it's the purest form of art you ever witnessed.
It's around the 12th rep that she lets out your cock, lips coated with your seed forming a sultry smile. “Wow, I can feel myself getting better at t-mph” you don't give her the chance to continue the sentence, bucking your hips into her mouth, getting her to gasp in surprise, or pleasure, it might as well be the same for her.
“The set Yuri, your pace is great” She smiles at your compliment, turning all of her focus back again to your cock as she continues to bob her mouth back and forth, eventually the pleasure Yuri showers your member with slowly start to take control of your body, enough that your hands have to gripe the back of head for stability, 
Enough that every time Yuri lets your length deep inside her mouth you move your hips forward, letting your tip graze the back of her throat.
Eventually you count the 30th rep, getting one more moan from her and then she lets her mouth of your cock with an audible pop sound. “Mmm, that exercise is always a good warmup for me~” she says, letting out an adorable chuckle while she licks her lips from any leftover cum.
“That's good to hear, let's start the next exercise?” 
“Ooo, yes yes yes, you know I like it when we do that exercise” she happily agrees, grinning like a child as you now sit down on the floor, watching as Yuri begins to lower her own pants, revealing to you, surprise surprise: no panties as well and her lower lips are already glistening with her own fluids
“Wow, were you this needy for a workout Yuri?” You ask as the two of you begin to shift your position: now you are sitting on the wooden floor while Yuri is straddling your lap, feeling how your cock is inches apart from her lower entrance.
“You know what they say…” she says, her hands making quick of your shirt, throwing it somewhere in the room. a good workout always helps when you need a little boost” you can feel her want, you can tell how much she needs you right now so why delay the inevitable.
“20 reps?”
“30” Yuri answers as she now puts her hands on your abs, feeling the texture of your 6 pack on her fingers. then without any foreword she lowers herself into your length, making you feel her pussy tightly wrap around you
The first round of friction makes you sound a heavy groan of pleasure, your hands go to each side of her hips, gripping for control while you move her up and dowm on your body, making light clapping noises from both of your bodies.
Yuri looks like she enjoys it, replacing her sharp movements to literally bouncing on your dick around the 8th rep, her tongue lolls out of her mouth making her unable to sound anything but a sultry, needy moan.
Eventually through the pleasure you are experiencing, you find the strength to lean your head close to Yuri's ears. “God, you love it when i fuck you like that, right?”.
She can only moan in response while moving her head in a way that can resemble a sign of agreement. “Yeah, you fucking love it when I pretend that I am your private coach to your company, to your manager just so you can have some cock to relieve you? To fuck your entire body silly?” You say in between your grunts, it's not like she could actually answer since she is busy being impaled by your length so you settle with a loud gasp caused by your hand giving a loud smack to her right buttcock and groping it tightly.
The last couple reps are slower, replacing the consistent pace with raw strength every time you thrust yourself into her tight cavern. Yuri attempts to cry out a scream of pleasure but not before you seal her mouth with your own, muffling her moans enough so that only your ears are blessed with hearing the unholy symphony that comes from her mouth.
She can feel how close you are to unloading for the second time today so just as the last rep of the set comes, she sinks her hips to engulf your length entirely inside her, getting both of you to mutually release your orgasm at the same time,and the cum goes everywhere.
On the floor.
On Yuri's Thighs.
On the upper half of your chest.
But most of it goes inside her, rope after rope after rope of cum fills the insides of Yuri making her brain unable to process the pleasure taking over her body. Eventually she finally manages to detach herself from your body, letting the both of you fall onto the floor, a mixture of you two fluids leaks out of her Cunt.
“That. Was. Awesome!!” She tiredly exclaims, panting heavily after each word, her eyes looking at the ceiling light. “I swear, this was like, The best training session we had in a long time” she adds, even when its obvious she was talking about sex, for her its just an intensive workout.
you only have enough energy to sit up without saying a, you see Yuri still laying on her back, her body full of sweat and cum while her face just like at the start shows a happy, satisfied smile. You can't explain why, but seeing her like this suddenly gives you an idea.
“Do you know how to do a sit-up?”
She scoffs, looking at you as if you just asked her whats 2+2. “Without any problem, its not some rocket science”
“Can you do 30 reps?”
“Sure, watch me” she responds, laying on her back once again and getting into position of the exercise. “On-ngh” Just as Yuri was about to start she could feel a weird sensation running over pussy however as she looks down, its just your head in between her legs, your tounge is giving slow licks to her hole, “what are you-hahh…doing?” She asks in between a small jolt of pleasure.
“Just an after practice treat for me, each rep you do before cumming is one second of me eating you out, win-win from how i see it” you look up her with a bratty grin, however its impossible to beat Jo Yuri in being a brat so in response she just smiles and says.
“Better hope i taste good then” she now looks at the ceiling again, continuing her reps thus giving you the signal to continue your deserved meal, and how sweet does she taste for you after a good workout.
Unlike your previous excerices today, this one had given you the opportunity to hear Yuri moan, but instead of the usual needy noises and the constant need for your white fluid, this time they are moans of music and each one is a note creating this passionate sonate of sex, for example:
“Haaaa, so good”
“Can you go slowe-nghh…please?”
“Oh yes, thats the spot”
“Fuck, You're gonna make me cum again with that tounge…”.
And meanwhile the workout goes on, you can feel small beads of sweat flowing from her thighs onto your hair, her thighs wrapped around your head depriving you from air, and her fluids flow inside mouth little by little, tasting like an unforbidden nectar you couldn't stop yourself from it's addicting flavour, something so sinful feeling oh so right with Yuri.
But sadly you can only experience the pleasure for so long, since fairly quickly you can feel the last round of cum coming from Yuri nto your mouth as she detaches herself from your tounge, gathering some strength to sit down and say in a breathy tone, “Fuck, this was amazing”
You eventually have to bid your goodbye to Yuri, after all your practice session with her was over according to your managers, but not before you help each other find your clothes, clean up any cum stains on the floor and depart with a small hug added with firm grope of her left buttcock.
Its now evening, already at home, getting yourself prepared for the Gym, even a coach needs some practice of its own, out of nowhere your phone sounds its mario coin notification, taking it out of your pocket you see it's a message from Yuri.
On it there is a picture: Yuri, fully naked, her Feet and hands sticking to the ground but her ass? Standing up and proud into the air with the hole almost directly in front of the camera lens, and the text below?.
“Good evening Oppa, can we do this workout tommorow?? I really think it can help my flexibility 😉😉😏”
Good to see your favourite client enjoying your service, already asking for more.
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silkenwinger · 1 day ago
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what about being a little outcast in middle and high school, never quite fitting in your classes. a group project in which you're the last unpaired standing forces you to work with simon riley. you're friendless, so it's not like you can cast great judgement, but you're scared of him. he has no qualms replying to teachers when needed, telling people to fuck off, and just generally doing as he pleases in his brooding teenage angst. he also has the saddest eyes you've ever seen.
as you work together you find out he's cooperative. sometimes he will show up a bit late, hair ruffled, but he does his part. it's the first time a boy has willingly spoken to you without appearing disgusted or making fun of you. he tells you to tell everyone who bothers you to fuck off, but also helps you concretely by intimidating the worst that gangs on you.
obviously, you develop the biggest crush ever known to man on him. you try to pry, to understand what is going on with him, but he's inscrutable. when you're done with the group project, you remain distant friends, greeting each other in the corridor and eating together sometimes, but you never quite become as close as you wish you could be. confessing is unimaginable.
you graduate. you change cities for uni, willing to go as far as possible. you make friends, finally. you go out with men, although they never reach the level of idolization you hold for simon in your heart. he becomes a precious memory, and pretty much only that. you don't know anyone else back home well enough to tell you what he's been up to. you get a good job. marry, even. until you find him in your own bed with another woman, of course.
your fresh start in this new part of town is tepid. you haven't become a social butterfly or anything of the sort, but you've grown used to people around you, and now you're back to square one. you think you shall do as they do in movies and knock at your neighbor's door. introduce yourself. but the buff man answering the door listens to you talk and doesn't introduce himself back. you feel the sting of rejection burn you from inside.
meanwhile, simon's freaking the fuck out. what the hell is going on and why you of all people are there? last he checked, you were married and away, and now you're living right next to him??
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tqlepatia · 2 days ago
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Pheromones perfume with sevika because she was angry and ignoring you so you took matters in your own hand
Pheromones perfume. ─ suggestive ( since I don't write smut often )
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Sevika had been in one of her moods — brooding, jaw tight, and giving you the silent treatment like a professional. No amount of sweet talking or teasing had broken her stubborn resolve. You weren't even sure what had set her off this time, but you'd had enough of being ignored.
So, naturally, you decided to take matters into your own hands.
The pheromone perfume had been an impulse buy, sitting unused on your vanity for weeks. You never thought you'd actually wear it, but desperate times called for desperate measures. One spritz to your neck, a dab on your wrists, and you were ready for war.
Sevika was in the living room, sprawled on the couch, arms crossed over her chest, pretending to watch some mindless show. The moment you walked in, her head turned ever so slightly.
“Hey,” you greeted casually, standing a little too close as you leaned on the back of the couch.
Her nose twitched.
“New perfume?” she asked, voice low, skeptical.
“Mm, yeah. You like it?”
She grunted, trying to play it cool, but her eyes flicked to your neck, lingering just a bit too long.
You bit back a grin, brushing your fingers through your hair, subtly wafting the scent toward her. “Thought I'd switch things up. You know, since someone's been all grumpy.”
Her lips twitched, almost betraying a smile, but she fought it off. “Not grumpy,” she muttered, though her voice had lost its edge.
“Oh, sure. You're a ray of sunshine,” you teased, leaning down so your lips were close to her ear.
Sevika shifted, clearly uncomfortable — not from annoyance but from the sudden heat crawling up her neck. Her jaw clenched tighter, but her pupils were blown wide now, betraying her composure.
“You're doing this on purpose,” she accused, voice husky.
“Me? Never,” you said innocently, brushing past her arm as you circled the couch.
Before you could get far, her hand shot out, gripping your wrist. Her touch was firm, possessive. “Careful, bby,” she warned, though there was no real threat in her voice, only desire simmering beneath.
You smiled sweetly, knowing you'd won. “Or what?”
Her eyes darkened. “Or I’ll remind you who you're teasing.”
that predatory gleam you knew so well sparking to life. In one swift motion, she tugged you down onto her lap, your knees straddling her thick thighs. The heat radiating from her body was intoxicating, making your head spin.
"You think a little perfume's all it takes to get me worked up?" she murmured, her lips ghosting over your neck, just shy of contact.
"You tell me," you whispered breathlessly, tilting your head to give her access.
Sevika let out a low, gravelly chuckle, her breath hot against your skin. "You're trouble, you know that?"
Her hand slid up your thigh, calloused fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. The teasing brush of her thumb against your hip made your pulse race.
"And you're stubborn," you countered, barely able to keep your voice steady as her mouth finally found your neck, lips and teeth dragging over sensitive skin.
"Stubborn enough to make you beg," she growled, nipping at your pulse point just hard enough to make you gasp.
Your fingers tangled in her short hair, nails scraping against her scalp as you pressed closer. "Pretty sure you're the one who broke first," you managed to taunt, though your voice was shaky with need.
Sevika's eyes flicked up, sharp and dangerous, a slow grin spreading across her face. "Is that right, princess?" Her voice was low, teasing, but there was an edge to it—a warning.
Her hand slid down your back, rough fingers tracing along your spine before settling firmly on your hip. "to confident for someone shaking like a leaf," she murmured, her lips grazing the shell of your ear.
"I'm not—" The words caught in your throat as Sevika's hand moved lower, slipping under your skirt without hesitation.
"Not what?" she whispered, voice dripping with smug amusement. "Not nervous? Not completely at my mercy?"
Your breath hitched as her fingers brushed against bare skin, teasing along your thigh. "Sevika..."
"Hmm? What's that, bunny?" Her tone was infuriatingly cocky now, her hand unapologetically exploring, fingers curling just enough to make your legs tremble.
"You—"
"Me?" she interrupted with a smirk, pressing a little harder, her breath hot against your neck.
A shiver ran through you, words lost in the heat between you both as Sevika claimed every ounce of control you'd thought you had.
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d0rothydraws · 1 day ago
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Piercing
(You have nipple piercings and Sylus finds out. I might do a part 2 is people want it i have ideas.)
You never thought that you would be the kind of person to do this yet here you were. You were out with some friends, as one does. Maybe you were slightly tipsy, maybe someone planted an idea earlier that night. You didn't really know. All you did know is you were laying on a padded chair, shirt off as a man was piercing your nipples.
Now you knew you wouldn't regret it. If anything, you could always take them out and the hole would close eventually. But as the piercings healed and you got used to it, you loved it. It wasn't as uncomfortable as you thought it would be and also it was like jewelry only you could see. Well, you and..
The night Sylus discovered your piercings was a night you would never remember. You had been what some would call dating for a month or so. While you tried to take it slow because you felt like that was the responsible thing to do, things just felt very natural with him. Though physically, you didn't take the leap yet. At least, fully.
There were plenty of nights where you were on his lap. His hand between your thighs, lips on yours. Yet for some reason you didn't feel ready to fully reveal yourself to him. Call it insecurity or maybe even the fear of it all ending up being for nothing, like usual. You didn't really know.
It was your weekend off work and you came over to his place to destress. You had made plans to watch some movies, play some board games and maybe even finally if you were brave enough, take that final step of intimacy. Coming straight from work Friday night you were still in your work clothes as you arrived. You already had everything you needed at his place. A whole dresser of clothes, your own shampoo and body wash. Any toiletries. If you ran out, he restocked. It was like a second home.
Sylus was still out finishing up god knows what which meant you were alone to your own devices. A fresh change of clothes was calling your name. Moving through the house you entered a room that you continued to deny was yours even though it had more of your items in it than your own room in your apartment. Opening the dresser you pulled out a tank top and some shorts.
Maybe you were still tired from work, maybe you couldn't hear over the song you were humming. Either way, you failed to notice that you no longer were alone. You turned your head to toss your work shirt in the clothes hamper to be washed and in turn was met with ruby eyes. They weren't looking at yours though like usual. They were looking lower.
It took you a moment to realize, you pulled your bra off with your shirt. Not the best for your bra's lifespan. But the best for convivence. So there you stood, in front of Sylus. Topless as your little secret was exposed. You felt heat pull in your gut. This isn't how you wanted the big reveal to happen, but the look on his face made you feel.. powerful. He looked hungry. You even seen his adams apple bob just a bit as he swallowed. With just a simple action you made this man look like he was going to devour you. But even still, he knew you had boundaries. No mater how badly he wanted to touch you.
"My my, kitten." He said, his voice low as he tore his eyes away from your chest to look at you. "Now that is a surprise I wasn't expecting." His voice was teasing but playful. He chuckled slightly, raising an eyebrow. "I wonder if you have any other secrets to uncover."
You didn't know if it was the adrenaline of being walked in on or the look in his eye but your body moved before your mind caught up to you. You stood in front of him as you took his hand and moved it to your breast. Your heart raced as his fingers began to play with the piercing. Taking a deep breath to try and steady your nerves and quickly growing heat that was beginning to boil inside you, you took a step closer so his hand was pushed even more against the soft tissue.
"Why don't you come find out?"
That's all it took before his lips were on yours. His free hand moving to cradle your head as his other hand continued to play with your nipple. You stepped back. He followed. Another step back, and again. Each one until the back of your legs pressed against the bed. Pulling back from the kiss you looked up at him. He looked back at you, his eyes intense but waiting. He was letting you have full control, for now at least.
"I always wanted to try something." You admitted, feeling your heart in your throat. You motioned for him to sit on the bed and as he did you straddled him, not able to stop yourself from pushing your hips against his just enough to make him groan. You had barely done anything to him. You weren't even fully naked. Yet you could feel how much you effected him.
You curled a hand into his hair as you guided his lips to your chest. He didn't need anymore instructions. His teeth toyed with the metal, pulling slightly as it made you gasp. His tongue brushing against your nipple before he pulled it into his mouth. Your head fell back as your eyes closed. A groan vibrated against your skin as he licked and bit at your sensitive skin. After a few minuets he pulled back with a growl before he moved in on the other one. His hips rutted up against you making you moan. His hands moving to your hips as you moved back against him. It felt like he was devouring you.
You heard a slight wet sound as he pulled away from your nipple to lick up your chest and neck. Shivering as the air hit your sensitive, wet skin. A hand moved up your side to cup one of your breasts, thumb and finger playing with your piercing. His voice was a low purr that made your skin tingle.
"I'm not going to be able to keep my hands of you, sweetie."
~
I havent written anything in so long im tired im sorry. i found this prompt in my drafts and ran with it
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