#and now im kinda burned out even though i have STUFF i wanna draw and homework to do UGHHHH

[vse-kar-vem]

art nouveau kris (other art nouveau krises x x). drawing this was so dead im not happy w it at all but whatever

[lowlaif]

Konpeito

never seen a star up close.

kinda wanna eat one.

and no, not one of those starlets hanging out in ridiculously overpriced LA villas - now finally available in "sustainable" minus an ecological footprint rivaling the size of their range rovers. the owner will fly in from two towns over so they get there early for their yearly yacht trip and ill activate adblock so palantir cant pester me with 50-euro airline ads to the maldives because shit, money is going to be a bit tight this month

i want to eat a star. actual heaps of gas and space dust and heat and whatdoiknow, im not a scientist, id rather not belie my words by googling the exact chemical configuration of something thats just bright and pacifying to me, something thatll melt on my tongue. 'm not even gonna chew. just gonna swallow it. the way i ate chocolate as a kid because relishing in something meant enough time for it to be taken away. the way i drink medicine because - if you gulp it down really quickly, it doesnt have time to taste bitter: anything can be honeyed milk if you clench your teeth hard enough

did you know thats what galaxy means anyway? milk? i wonder what galactical honey would be, then. whether id think its sweet or spicy, whether id like the taste or want to spit it out. if itd go down with well-rounded corners or lodge itself into my throat and stay there. fishbones. i also wonder whether astronauts ever feel scammed when they set foot on the ISS and realize theyre not going to bear witness to a sky made out of sparkling lights and silver threads and golden spots and rainbow clouds but rather just a sea so inky black it's going to make breathing difficult not just by lack of oxygen alone. earths much too reflective for any other luminescent object to be visible to the naked eye, ive been told, hence why youd just be looking at a planet so bright it surely hurts to stare at it, and i wonder what it feels like, being up there and gazing down only to be blinded when youre so used to looking up and squinting?

im homesick thinking of kids drawing earth into the upper right corner of their drawings. i dont actually know if theres stars up there though everybody tells me those pinprick lights are, and i cant breathe when im busy trying to figure out what exact level of depression the stale air around me tastes like. but something in my brain clicks when i think of shiny things and theres no empirical evidence that grabbing the sparkly stuff up above my head wont cure me so i want to, i want to, i want to. wanting always boils down to sinking your teeth into it and ive filed my canines far too often to fear the force of my bite now

people dance on the moon and i mimic their steps in my bedroom and though these are just small steps i dont know the names of the poor sods stuck on the ISS either, even though there's only been like 500 of them and they're all way better at living life than i am. my hands ghost over where i instinctively know the light switches of my flat are and wonder if up there somebody's got a nightlight, cheap plastic stars attached to their ceilings, one of those little projectors that put constellations on your walls. whether they ever have trouble sleeping and if yes, what the hell do they look up at then? who do they cast their wishes to?

never seen a star up close. never held one. but the concept is so familiar, so ingrained into whatever our shared consciousness is made out of, that i want with my molars. i itch to keep it in my tummy so it keeps me warm on the cold days and i only trust what i see so i want to look at it until my retinas burn, until the sound of the big bang echos in the confines of my brain. itll drown out all other unwanted thoughts and itll sing in the genetic make-up of my descendants long after my neighbours cant hear me sing in the shower anymore. ill cup my palms and pray into them. begging is easier when youre in position and im on my knees and i swear ill never run out of things to whisper to the radiant little ember in my hands because it is beautiful and because i like shiny things and because stars have always made us look up at them and

When I finally get my teeth on it and swallow it whole I'm sure a piece of the star will get lodged in my throat like. fishbones. in a last-ditch effort at vengeance. I'll spend the rest of my life attempting to choke it back up.

"I made it with love," I'll say after I finally managed to do so.

"Careful, it's hot."

[mizunetzu]

May I request something anything fluffy with male reader with Sero and/or Kenma if u want to od just one of them pls Sero im desperate for him QAQ

Okokokso I was GONNA do drabbles, but I kinda went a little over board with them, so they’re kinda mini fics?? Like they aren’t as long as my usual fics but it’s longer that what people call a Drabble? I’m def proud of them so pls pls enjoy

Seros is under the cut, and kenmas is under seros !

——————

Sero x reader - Interesting

⚠️warnings - none

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

First days of school were always kinda rough.

No one knew anyone, nor what anyone’s quirk was. You had power until someone found out you had a stupid quirk-or no quirk at all. It was an unfair hierarchy yet to be overthrown.

“Ne ne-Mina-Chan, right?” A soft spoken, (h/c) boy piped up as he walked towards Minas seat. Even if he was on the softer side, that wouldn’t stop him from making a friend or two.

Mina chuckled and gave (y/n) a short, animated, description of her quirk. It was acid apparently, and had nothing to do with her looks.

Sero absentmindedly followed (y/n) around the classroom as he asked people what their quirk was. He was hoping he’d miss him. He didn’t want someone to comment on how he got into the hero course with a boring quirk like hi-

“You’re Sero-kun, right?”

Seros blood ran cold. He shifted in his seat to face the boy standing beside him, arms resting on the back of his chair. He was awfully close, and his hard, but soft gaze seemed to make him melt into his seat. He didn’t know why though. It was probably due to the fact that he was about to disappoint him with his quirk.

“Yeah...that’s me alright. What can I do you for?” Sero jabbed a fist into his chest, trying to seem as cool as possible to make up for everything else. (Y/n) smiled.

“I was wondering, since I saw something kinda bulking out of your elbow sleeves. What’s you quirk, Sero-Chan?”

Damn, already with the ‘Chan’? The black haired boy gulped and pulled up his sleeve. “Well-I can shoot tape out of my elbows. It’s nothing interesting, I know...I’ve heard it plenty of times...”

Sero ripped a small piece of tape off from his elbows, and stuck it onto (y/n’s) blazer. He hadn’t met his eyes yet, fully expecting him to be disappointed or underwhelmed. Instead, he felt a finger lift his chin up to face the boy standing in front of him.

“I think your plenty interesting, Sero-chan.”

It was only now that Sero seemed to notice how the morning, sleepy light flooded into the classroom, making (y/n) glisten and glow like an angel infront of him. His finger was still on his chin, but he was harboring a soft, clad smile, full of genuine interest and kindness.

The raven haired boy broke out from his trance when (y/n) peeled off the tape from his button up and stuck it tentatively onto Seros nose. He flinched slightly, before his cheeks burned a pinkish color and (y/n) ruffled his soft, black hair.

“I’ll see you later, yeah? Let’s eat lunch together.” And with that, (y/n) walked away, probably to ask the boy with the glasses what his quirk was. Or maybe the girl with the earphone jack ears.

Sero knew that he were probably just being nice, but he couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit special. He felt the genuine admiration flow from his voice as he smiled warmly at him, and complimented him.

He peeled the piece of white tape from his nose, holding it close to his face for a long minute. He chose to ignore the pounding, fluttery feeling in his chest as he stuck the piece of tape onto the edge of his table.

That single, offhanded compliment was how the ever-plain, flushed, Sero hanta, became hooked.

—————

Kenma x reader - I Like You

⚠️warnings - weepy kenma, none

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Quiet was always kinda nice, especially for Kenma. Not so much (y/n) though.

Kenma sat propped up against his pillow, playing on his tv with the controller resting on his lap. (Y/n) sat across from him, sprawled out on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. When Kenma said he wanted (y/n) to come over, he expected them to yknow...actually hangout together.

After another minute of deafening silence, with the occasional ring of kenmas video game, (y/n) decided he could take no more. He wanted cuddles, damnit.

“...say, Kenma,” (y/n) heard a pause chime in Kenmas game, taking that as his cue to continue.

“Do you love me?”

There was more silence, before the pudding head looked away bashfully. “Mm...you already know it, right....”

“Well...yes,” (y/n) looked at Kenma, holding a neutral expression. “But I wanna hear your say it.”

There was more silence, before (y/n) took matters into his own hands. He hoisted Kenmas arm up, earning a small yelp, and crawled on top of him, holding his own body weight with his arms as to not crush his boyfriend. He then tucked his arms in between both their chests nimbly once he knew both of them were comfortable.

(Y/n) forced Kenma to look at him, but he shifted his head to the side, slightly whipping his hair onto the boys face. Kenmas hands, having discarded the game controller long ago, brought his hands to wrap around the boys torso in front of him, even if he wasn’t looking at him. (Y/n) eyed his arms gently.

“Y’know...with physical body language and stuff, you have proof you’re liked,” Kenma held his head to the side, but he listened intently at his boyfriends soft words. “It’s super easy to understand.”

“It can be convenient at times, but you can also immediately understand people’s change of feelings. It’s very scary.”

(Y/n) laid his head on Kenmas shoulder, humming quietly before going on with his rant. “But-I told you countless times that I like you properly.”

Kenmas blush deepened with everytime he recalled (y/n) randomly professing his love for him, whether it be on the court, smiling and dicking around like an idiot, or more calmly when he’s walking home with him and Kuroo.

(Y/n) lifted his head to look at Kenma with a heart wrenching smile.

“I do that, because saying ‘I like you’ to the guy I like, makes me super happy!”

He untucked an arm from underneath him and touched Kenmas face scarcely. “Don’t you think that?”

Kenma finally faced (y/n), gripping the arm holding his cheek with furrowed brows and a blush. While he did face (y/n), he didn’t look at him, opting to take interest in a patch of dust just outside his window.

They stayed like that for awhile, until Kenma brought his gaze up the the boy on top of him, who was look at him patiently, with soft, kind eyes.

“I...” Kenmas flushed face couldn’t be any redder. “I like you...”

Kenma kept repeating those words, in various ways such as “I like you so much” or “I..I like you, (y/n)”. He kept at it until his mouth ran dry, all the moisture draining and expelling itself in the form of tears brinking at the corners of his eyes. They taunted him like flames licking at the corners of his pretty face, threatening to spill, if Kenmas throat had not closed up and let him say “I like you” one more time.

Panic hit (y/n) like a truck as he spazzed out on top of his weepy boyfriend. “A-ah! Wait no no no no-I didn’t mean that I was like-mad at you or anything! I was just ranting and stuff oh god-“

He wrapped his arms around kenmas neck, nuzzing into his side with tears forming in his own eyes. “Kenmaaaaa, aaaah Kenma-chan I’m shooo showwyyy!”

Kenma dried his eyes. It was silent again, with the sound of sniffles echoing across the quiet room. Kenma shifted once more, to face his boyfriend, and wrap his arms around him, forgetting about his game or his tear stained face entirely.

“Tears make me tired...” he mumbled, drawing the boy closer. “I want cuddles.”

(Y/n), now happy again, obliged and wrapped his arms and legs around him. The quiet background music of kenmas game played in a non irritating loop, eventually lulling the two boys to sleep.

Hm. I guess (y/n) got his cuddles after all.

——————

[fluffymcu]

Letting Loose

Part EIGHTEEN

This series is TICKLE related.

Series Summary:  You’re the little sister of the one and only Captain America. You’re also the youngest girl on the team, so that automatically makes you the avengers’ little princess. And they spoil you as such. They have become your amazing family and you don’t know where you’d be without them. This series will show random adventures and fluffy events in the daily life of the reader and her family, along with an unexpected turn later on as you read.

A/N: I’m so excited to be writing this series! This is my first time writing one and I’m a bit nervous but I hope it all goes well. :)  Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1,962

It’s been a few weeks since the outdoor movie night. You were looking around in the kitchen for something to eat when you heard Sam make cooing noises from his place on the couch. You turned to see him flipping through a small book. You walked up to him to see what he was doing.

“What are you doing?” you asked. He looked up from the book and smiled.

“Just lookin’ at your baby pictures.” He said. 2 or 3 of them were from the 40’s that Steve had in his uniform pockets while he was looking for you when you were kidnapped by HYDRA. Others were pictures that Steve took of you during the year that you lived in an apartment when you were 5 or 6. The rest were pics that the team took of you as you were growing up after you moved to the tower then the compound.

“Aww, look at you here.” Sam said, pointing to a picture of you with cake on your face. You internally cringed. “So adorable! With your little bows and everything.” He chuckled. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not adorable Sam.” You said.

“Oh, so you think you’re grown now? That you're not adorable anymore?” Sam asked amused, raising an eyebrow at you. You pursed your lips and crossed your arms.

“I may not be grown but I’m not adorable.” You sass. Sam chuckled at that.

“Well I have proof right in this book that says otherwise. Look .“ he smirked, flipping through many pictures or tea parties, days in the pool, the team playing dress up with you, and much more. Through them all, Sam was cooing the while time. You groaned and covered your face in mild frustration. You flopped down on the couch and sat there with your arms crossed. Sam didn’t pay you any mind at your little attitude and just kept looking through the book.

Bucky walked in at that moment and noticed your body language. “What's y/n so worked up about?” he asked Sam. “I mean, I know she’s talking to you and that’s enough to make anyone upset but is there any other reason?” he said, smirking a bit when Sam rolled his eyes.

“Little y/n here is getting all blushy because I keep calling her adorable.” He says, going the extra mile and pinching your cheek. You whined and leaned way from his touch.

“I am not!” you could feel your face heat up. Bucky chuckles.

“Aww this is what you're cranky about? You are adorable! Look at these pictures of when you were a baby; just precious!” he says, taking the book from Sam. You growled and slumped down further on the couch. And so begins the endless teasing session.

“Look she's pouting. How cute. But as adorable as that is, I don’t know how I feel about having a pouty y/n. Buck?” Sam asked.

“Oh, absolutely not. We can’t have that! We love a happy girl!” You pout even more to show your annoyance.

“Nothing seems to work, Buck. What do you suggest we do?”

“Well, I suggest we do the thing that always makes her smile when she's pouty!” he smirked. Your eyes widened at that and you tried to make a run for it. Of course, the super soldier got to you before you could and thew you back on the couch. You were already giggling, your annoyed facade melted away. Nervousness overcame your senses as you realized not only Bucky is about to tickle you to pieces but Sam as well.

“Wahahait! Guhuhuys! I wont pout anymore I promise!!” you begged. Sam raised an eyebrow at you.

“But will you admit you're the most adorable thing ever?” he teased. You pursed your lips in a scowl.

“I'm not adorable!” you growled.

Bucky and Sam turned to face each other at the same time and nodded. “Denial.” They immediately pounced on you, eliciting loud and bubbly giggles. Bucky was wasting no time, drilling his fingers into your ribs while Sam was repeatedly squeezing up and down your thighs. You threw your head back as you laughed, keeping your arms pressed to your sides, even though it did nothing to stop the ticklish feeling.

“We can do this all day, y/n. We won’t stop until you admit it.” Bucky smirked, slipping his hands up further up to wiggle his hands under your arms. You yelped and erupted into high pitched laughter, kicking out your legs. Sam had gotten a hold of your ankle and was now scratching the soles of your feet, making you cackle. “Tickle tickle tickletickletickle! Aww look at that adorable smile!”

Your face was burning as you blushed and tried to cover your face with your hands. Bucky chortled and shook his head, lifting your shirt and blowing a long raspberry, tasing your sides at the same time. You shrieked and shot your arms right back down. “I CAHAHANT BREHEHEATHE!” You cried, shaking your head side to side. It became clear then that they really weren’t going to stop until you gave in. “AHAHAHAA OKAHAHAY OKAHAY ILL SAY IHIHIT! EEH!” You squealed and fell right back into hysterics when Sam started to squeeze your knee.

“Well? On with it then.” Sam said, not letting up on his torture. Bucky smirked, tickling your waistline, making your giggles more desperate.

“Lehehet me go fihihirst.” You giggled.

“NOPE!” Bucky said, blowing another raspberry. You arched your back with a loud squeal and finally gave in.

“NOOOHOHO OKAY IM ADOHOHORABLE!” You cry, scrunching up your neck when Bucky feathers is fingers around your neck.

“Damn right. And you better not forget it.” Bucky said, pointing a finger at you warningly. You blushed and turned on your belly to hide your face.

“Okay, yes, I get it.” You whine feigning annoyance. Bucky and Sam shook their heads at you fondly and left, leaving you to rest on the couch. You didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep until you woke up to the soft chatter of the team in the kitchen. You hadn’t opened your eyes yet and were still half asleep but you could tell you were covered by a blanket. Someone must have put it on you when you were asleep. 

You stirred a bit and woke up a little more at the sound of chuckling and you sat up on the couch. You had wrinkle marks on the side of your face that was on the couch and you turned to see the team gathered around the island, having a conversation. Bucky has the first one to turn and see you, smiling and winking at you. You giggled, drawing the attention of the other team members. Steve smirked at your sleepy look and put a hand on his hip. “Look who finally woke up.”

“How was your nap, Sleeping Beauty?” Tony teased, taking a sip of his coffee.

You giggled again and fell back onto the couch to cover your blush with the blanket. “What are you guys talking about.” You asked, your voice muffled a bit. Steve walked over and sat on the couch next to you, lifting up your legs to sit. 

“We’re trying to see where we wanna go to eat. There’s a nice new Wing place a few minutes out of Town Square. Think you’d like that?” He asked, rubbing up and down your legs comfortingly. You nodded with lazy smile. 

“Alright, it’s decided then. Everyone get ready, we leave in 20.” Tony said, clapping his hands once. You got up and headed to your room to change. 

-----

You had all just gotten seated at a table after waiting for a bit. The place was still new so there were many people there wanting to try it out. You sat next to Wanda and Bruce and across from Peter and Steve. Nat was sitting next to him. As you all were waiting for your food, you looked up to see Steve sit back and wrap an arm around Nat’s chair, kinda on her shoulders while Nat scooted closer with a small smile.

You grin to yourself and dig in your food when it arrives, making a note to yourself to tease Nat about it later.

------

You got home and followed Nat around all the way to her room, without saying a word until you closed the door behind you.

“So...? You and Steve have been getting pretty close, huh?” You asked, bumping her with your elbow and smiling smugly.

“What makes you say that?” She said, folding the rest of her laundry and obviously trying to play dumb. You rolled your eyes playfully and scoffed. 

“Oh come on, don’t act like you don’t know. I think you should tell him and the team already; that you officially like him.”

“And why should I feel the need to do that yet?”

“Because... if you don’t tell him, I will.” Of course you were joking, you would never reveal a secret like that to someone. You turned on your heel and went for her bedroom door. “Oh, steeeeve!” You sang. 

You didn’t expect Nat to quickly come up behind you and stick her hands under your arms. You immediately clamped up and fell to the floor in a fit of laughter. “Y/n don’t you dare-I will stuff you in my closet and keep you hostage if you tell him.” She playfully growled, following you to the ground and wrapping herself around you like a koala and tickling your sides. You were in hysterics.

“OKAHAHAHAY I WONT TELL HIM!” You cried. You were basically trapped in her hold and could do nothing but laugh your heart out. She dug her nails in between your ribs, making you cackle and arch your back.

“Promise?” She smirked, pinching mischeviously at your hip bones.

“YEHEHES, I WOULD NEVEHEHEHER!” After that, she let you go from the hold and you sprawled out on the floor, panting. Nat smirked at your exhausted state.

“Good.” She hummed. She stood up and leaned against the bed, her lips pursing a bit as she gulped. “So... how do you feel about it?” She asks a little more serious now.

You sat up on the floor and raised your eyebrows at her. “Seriously? I ship you guys so hard.” You chuckle. “If I’m being honest, I was rooting for you guys since... years ago.” You chortled. “I really hope you guys become a thing in the future. Just know I’ll always be your #1 supporter.” 

Nat smiles at that, pulling you into a hug. “Thank you y/n. That means a lot. Really. I don’t know what would be possible of us if you didn’t support a relationship between us. Maybe now we actually have a chance.” She says. 

“Of course!” You smile and return the hug. 

-------

Tonight was Movie night with the team and you were snuggled up to Thor and Bucky. You smiled to yourself and leaned your head on Thor’s shoulder. You looked around to see everyone on the couches, sitting net to each other nd having their snacks with smiles on their faces. Right then, you had a moment where you became aware of the life you had. You had an amazing family that loved you so much and you loved them back. You wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. You glanced over at Ruby Anne to see her sitting net to her dad. You couldn’t wait until Ruby started to feel the same feeling you feel about your family now. You sighed happily, resting your head back on his shoulder.

  “Goodnight. Love you guys.” You sighed before closing your eyes. The rest of the team smiled at you and bid you goodnight as well. 

“We love you too y/n/n.”

-------------------------------------------

I hope you all enjoyed the series! this was really amazing and stressful and fun and interesting to write and although some of these chapters may not be that good, just know I put my heart and soul into this series and I was really happy to share it with you guys. <3 

Remember if you’d like to request a plus chapter continuing this storyline, feel free to request one but please be specific as to what you’d like to see in that chapter. Thank you so much for reading! :D

[nice-kill-tanaka]

May I have a my hero and ohshc matchup plz

I'm a short girl around 5'2 with long brown hair and eyes and a leo. I like anime,dragons,reptiles,drawing but I'm not good,tarantulas,sweets,video games, memes,dark humor. I am very kind but I care more about others than I do myself. I have bad anxiety. I tend to overthink about everything. I love to sing especially country music but I am tone deaf. I have trouble standing up for myself because I was bullied alot. I can be very blunt. I also love to swear. I can be very loud. I love a good mystery and cop shows. I love dad jokes and puns.I am terrified of bees and heights. I am very lazy but I can be good at doing stuff if motivated. I have a very kind heart and sad stories or ones with very happy endings make my heart happy or hurt like crazy. But even though I'm kind that doesn't mean i am nice all the time. I am extremely grumpy and have a short temper especially on no sleep or if I just woke up. I also do have adhd and some anxiety I dont like being touched randomly unless I know it will happen or if I touch someone. As for dreams I'm not sure I wanna be a voice actor but not too sure if its right for me as I don't know how to edit or even have the equipment. I want someone who can just listen to me as I ramble on about things I love. I want someone to understand that I think differently then normal people. I also want someone to be able to understand im not the most affectionate person but I can be if given time but I will help someone if they are touch starved like I am.

[🌄 @cutelittleriot requested one (1) regular My Hero Academia matchup. I have just the ingredients for that! Sit tight while I get to work.🌌]

YAYYY!! First bnha matchup!! I gotchu bud 👍 I’m thinking about trying something new for the bnha fandom in particular. So, I’ll try it out and see what you think! Also, I got a little carried away with this one, so if it doesn’t seem characteristically accurate to you, please tell me!! 😖

And, the lucky person is:

⛰Eijiro Kirishima⛰

Quirk: Dragon

Dragon is a mutation quirk. It manifests slowly over time, until the user becomes about 60% dragon-esque at around 15/16 years old.

Scales and tough skin appear on the arms, legs, and face. Sharp teeth and claws grow in. Horns protrude from the forehead. A tail grows from the spine. Finally, wings grow from the back.

Flesh becomes twice as tough in places where scales are.

Depending on the user’s body type, wing usage is limited. (Since you’re generally shorter than average, “flying” and gliding comes easier to you.)

When the user consumes pressurized carbon dioxide, their stomach converts it into flammable gasses. Which allows the user to breathe- er...burp...fire.

Fire must be carefully used however. The smoke produced can accidentally be breathed in, causing lung damage.

🌱Humble Beginnings🌱

I’ll start by saying this: Being bullied is never fun. Being bullied over something you can’t easily control or change? Rub salt in it, why don’tcha?

You weren’t sure what the select few kids in your grade thought was so hilarious about your quirk. But, they managed to find enough wrong with it to do their damage for most of your time in school

First, the patches of scales that showed up on your skin were “too weak”. Then, your awkward transition stage with growing horns, wings, and tail was suddenly “ugly”

By the time your quirk fully manifested, the jeers finally devolved to “freak-ish”

Like a river carving out the Grand Canyon, the work was slow and wore you down over time. But, the impact was a lot bigger than even you’d initially thought

While you managed to somewhat heal and learned to guard your emotions against such hurtful things, that’s all you learned to do: Guard yourself. You were a shield with no spear, since you never fought back

With the help of supportive parents and teachers, your self-esteem wasn’t so low, but you did often downplay or underestimate your abilities

Like, Bitch??? You can burp fire??? Know your power???

The people you were on good terms with seemed to see a potential that you either disregarded, or didn't know about all together

They saw the way you treated others with consideration and forethought. How, despite (or because of) your anxiety, you remained hyper-aware of the problems of others and how to accommodate. And while your anger did have its vices, people knew how hot your righteous rage could burn

It actually took a lot of convincing for you to even apply to U.A. 

Outside of your other aspirations for the future, you didn’t particularly feel worthy for the job. Of anything you could be, you weren’t a fearless, upstanding, unshakable individual, not even giving a second thought to throwing yourself into danger for the good of others. You weren’t your alleged definition of a hero, and that was enough to deter you

But, whenever you recited your polite (well-rehearsed) decline, most gave you the same weirdly optimistic retort:

“Just try, maybe you’ll do better than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

So, here you were at an entrance exam full of people you hardly knew, wondering how you even rationalized to yourself that this would go just fine

The written exam went okay. As well as you could for literally guessing what to study to pass

All you had to do was do your best on the physical exam, and you’d be done for the day

But, your issue was in the people around you, not the exam itself

You were aware of the high amount of attention the moment you walked onto campus. The way other kids measured you up from a distance, studying everything about your not-so-human body. Watching your every move, especially the way your movements were strained from soreness (A short period of intense training tends to do that to you). You assumed they also wanted to see if your disposition was as powerful as your quirk suggested

((You specifically noticed a coltish, green-haired kid muttering to himself, questioning if your wings could actually support your body weight))

Even now, as the prospective heroes-in-training warmed up, you felt the stares burning into you

Half of you wanted to lift your eyes and rhetorically ask what the hell they were looking at, only feeling more annoyed as you snorted and returned to what you were doing. The other half wanted to fold into yourself until you disappeared (If only it were that easy)

But, you had enough (Roughly, one billion) worries on your mind to put confrontation on the list. Shaking off your anxious shivers as you lowered your head and continued with your “stretches” seemed so much easier

(A.k.a. Staring off into space as you held your limbs in awkward positions)

The time to begin the physical test was drawing near, and your self-doubt hadn’t eased up. Maybe this was a mistake. You didn’t belong here. Not when so many other students could fill the space you’re wasting so much better. Maybe if you slipped through the back now, you’d save yourself the disappointment of not living up to your own standards

“Hey, brown-haired girl! With the horns!”

You heard a gruff whisper from not to far behind you, from the left. You tensed for a moment, wondering what the voice could possibly want from you. But, the sight you saw was rather unexpected

The voice definitely matched the body, bulky and slightly rough looking, a little taller than you. Matched with a sweet face, sharp teeth, and bright, spiky, red hair. The smile he showed you instantly calmed your thoughts

“…Hm?”

You gave a short response, not wanting to jump to conclusions yet

“I saw you looking kinda psyched out over here, so I thought talking to you would make you less nervous!”

You felt a warm and fuzzy sensation in the pit of your stomach. As much encouragement as you got to achieve things, you didn’t see much of it to consider how you felt. How you could feel better. You liked it, which was surprising, considering the encouragement came from a perfect stranger

“Oh, uhh…thanks then. But, I’m fine, I promise! I’m no more nervous than you are.”

“Well, that’s also why I came to talk…I’m kinda freaking out too…”

This boy’s transparency was almost scary, but on the other hand, very comforting. You didn’t catch him trying to stare at your mutated parts once as you talked. Your eyes were the thing he seemed the most focused on, and while it made you embarrassed, it was the good kind (if that makes sense)

But, soon enough, the announcement for the beginning of the exam came over the loudspeaker, and you and your acquaintance had to look out for yourselves. But, before you parted ways, the redhead turned to you

“I’m Eijiro Kirishima, by the way! See you when I see you, Shortie!”

🌳Flourishing Love🌳

The beginning of Kirishima seeing you as a romantic option happened not too long after parting ways at the physical exam

He was almost completely cornered by one of the machines students could disarm for points. And just as that was happening, you had just turned the corner after shaking off another one

You saw Kirishima, but he definitely didn’t see you, trying hard to look tough, but struggling to stand his ground

It quickly dawned on you that Kirishima didn’t have a quirk that could easily deal with the hostile device. And if he did, he was too scared to use it

You vetoed the idea of charging in head on first. You didn’t feel like getting yourself or Kirishima hurt. Especially without a plan. You needed to be smart about getting your only acquaintance out of this situation

Your heart raced and your execution was all but clean, but you ended up using your fire breath to weld the robot’s wheels to the concrete

Before you let your inhibitions get the better of you, you climbed the machine and punched out the camera on the front. From atop the beast, you hung your tail over the edge low enough for Kirishima to grab. You didn’t dare look down at the ground

“Dammit Eijiro, grab on!!”

Once you felt a weight on your tail, you used your wings to propel you both forward. Obviously, away from the robot

You were too high on adrenaline and fear to notice, but Kirishima stared at you like you were the embodiment of Heaven on Earth. The stars in his eyes almost seemed inappropriate for the situation 😅

You looked just as—if not more—afraid than he was. But, you seemed so okay with the fact that you weren’t fearless, and acted like a true hero anyway. He admired, dare I say loved that about you

And he didn’t even know your name

As soon as you found out that you and Kirishima were in the same class, you felt instant relief. At least you were familiar with someone at U.A.

You guys’ friendship developed rather fast, like and extrovert adopting an introvert

Kirishima quickly noticed how fast you opened up once you got comfortable around him, and loved you all the more for how bright and vibrant the unfiltered you was

He found himself picking up on your sense of humor, telling dad jokes you whisper under your breath to the Bakusquad (Much to Bakugou’s dismay 😅)

Don’t worry, he always gives you the credit 😉

As time went on, Kirishima learned to appreciate how blunt you were. He realized that he needed someone to tell it like it is (“It isn’t manly to sugarcoat things! 😤” he says)

And while Kirishima prefers physical activities over video games, he loves to hype you up while you play before classes

It was only natural a mutual crush would form :D

Kirishima finally worked up the guts to ask you out after the U.S.J. Incident

You and him had gotten separated (You had gotten trapped with the cold son of Endeavor. And you both took out the villains with an awe-inspiring display of fire and ice)

Kirishima was faced with the reality that either of you could lose each other at any moment. And while both of you came out alright, he realized he couldn’t be wishy-washy about his feelings for you

He told you on your way to school the next morning:

“Look. What happened yesterday really scared me. Normally, I wouldn’t say that, but I think you deserve to know. Because…you mean a lot to me!! More than I can put into words. I love when we have fun together, and I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I never got to tell you how I felt…”

“Basically…I like you!! Like…in the romantic way…”

Your early morning grumpiness dissipated almost instantly, replaced by momentary confusion and disbelief, then embarrassment and joy. Was this really happening…? The boy that took a chance on you since the beginning, confessed that he had feelings for you…? Even though you didn’t question your relationship, you always assumed the nice things Kirishima said, the way he looked at you, was all part of the pleasantries. You questioned if you were even worth all of that

‘But you are.’ The little voice Kirishima helped you develop said. ‘And he would say more if he didn’t look so embarrassed.’

And so, you accepted Kirishima’s confession. And he saw the sweetest smile you had ever given him since the first time he complimented your puns 😊❤️

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one matchup for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan

[reineyday]

some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

[spamtonsbigshot]

So I’ve got a possible Vento Aureo AU that i started thinking about a lot last night and i just kinda wanna post it here to have it all in one place.

—

Gionro - Vampire (for obvious reasons)

Fugo - Werewolf cuz i love him

Abbacchio - Probably a fallen angel, similar to how he was thrown out of the police force he was thrown out of heaven

Bruno - Probably human too, just a man in the cryptid woods who fell in love with an angel

Narancia - im tempted to just say catboy cuz im out of ideas

Mista - Satyr. Hairy.

Trish - cross between demon and human, has some demon features but otherwise can pass human

Diavolo - probably a demon

—

Background: Pannacotta Fugo

one of fugo’s grandparents (grandma) are definitely a werewolf that married into a wealthy family at some point therefore making Fugo a decendant. the werewolf genes skipped his parents’ generation and of his siblings, only Fugo got the werewolf genes. Fugos grandmother is the og werewolf i bet. Which is why Panni loves her so much and feels he can confide in her cuz he keeps his werewolfness to himself otherwise. idk how it managed to avoid his parents as he was young so lets say the genes kick in around like puberty age or something, as in he cant fully transform till later. so following VA lore he goes to college n shit right? and following phf lore he gets mad at his professor waving away his grandmas recent passing as she was the only one he was close to and goes feral in a literal sense. he calms himself down before anyone can come in and be like “wtf” so when hes found back in human appearance, holding a big school book, thats what people think happened and blamed it on that. After that, Fugo runs away into the woods and later would find Bruno in his cabin in the woods. Bruno’s a social outcast who used to be a fisher but after his dads passing he moved into the more wooded areas and settled there. Became a farmer maybe cuz he has to make money somehow. Because brunos lived in the woods for a few years he's befriended many supernatural creatures that live there in part just to get buy, he even has a sign that says "supernatural friendly" or something. So With fugo having run out into the woods, Bruno finds Fugo while on a walk probably and takes Fugo in after Fugo explains he has nowhere else to go. So Fugo becomes a farmhand basically and Bruno has some werewolf acquaintances explain sorta how being a werewolf works cuz fugo's only werewolf relative he knows of is dead.

Background: Leone Abbacchio

Leone WAS a guardia angel for a man of which goes unnamed. At one point, Leone took a bribe of sorts from a demon. The bribe was to keep the demon business in the area unnoticed by Angels. Later, said same demon and Leone’s human get involved on some way, and it ends up in the death of Leone’s human. Because of Leone’s neglectfulness and possible corruptness, he is cast out from above and thrown down below to earth. Abba probably breaks a tree nearby on impact when being struck down from the literal sky. Bruno goes to investigate and finds abbacchio in what looks like a meteor crash sight of his own making, theres also probably the imprint of angel wings its like a really cinematic shot probably. So bruno takes him back to his cabin and nurses him back to health. Abba was probably someones guardian angel and took a bribe from a demon that eventually got his human killed. Bruno, being all wise with supernatural shit, feels bad for him as Abba has nowhere to go. He teaches Abbacchio how to be a human and function in society that way theyre both earning something. Though, abbacchio is still an angel by blood and being and does not require stuff like food or water and therefore doesnt take up too much valuable supplies.

Background: Narancia and Mista

Narancia probably likes to absentmindedly stroll through the woods and sometimes isnt seen for a few days as he is a cat and can hunt for himself. Nara was probably abandoned and became an ally cat at some point and was bullied for being a catboy, people called him a freak and for him to go eat out of the trash and stuff like that. Fugo found him in an alley when in town, and when he looked at the cat in the dumpster, he saw intelegent purple eyes instead of feral cat eyes and new that this malnourished, injured cat was probably supernatural in some way and took him with him to bruno's cabin, later, nara just kinda becomes a housecat thats also a helpful energetic boy And on one of nara's long day long strolls, he encounters Mista, who is a satyr therefore he's pantsless (furry goat legs) and shirtless (cuz why not) narancia kinda keeps his distance for a while and comes across Mista a few times over the course of maybe a few weeks to a month, but eventually Mista gets into trouble and uses a pan flute to use some epic firest magic to kill off some harmful spirits. After witnessing that, narancia, now catboy and not cat, jumps out of the bush he was watching from to exclaim how "totally sick!" That was. They kinda talk and become friends after a while, narancia becoming less and less afraid to approach him and talk to him. They later become really good bros and nara invites Mista over to play games but since Mista has no clue wtf those are as he's a satyr that lives shirtless in the woods, Narancia teaches him how to play and thats when mista realizes he's catching feelings :) Also as a lil hc of mine im bringing in the possum i draw narancia with called Tutti Frutti Juul Pod (aka Tutti/Tutti Frutti) and theyre Nara’s friend basically and occasionally he brings Tutti home but Tutti remains wild for the most part 👀

Background: Giorno

Giorno grew up in the city with his shitty mom and step dad. No gangster saving this time. Eventually, lets say, Giorno's parents decide they dont wanna deal with him anymore and put him in an orphanage and so giorno just kinda lives a sad life for a while. Eventually, he gets adopted by Jonathan and Erina, (his ov dad still being dio but hes dead because its my au and i said so) so Jonerina adopt Giorno and stuff starts getting a lot better for him. After vampire puberty or whatever, giorno isnt going to be killed by the sun or anything it just kinda stings his skin and he'll get burned bad if he stays exposed to the sun longer than an hour or so. So he starts taking night walks. Eventually, on a night of the full moon while giorno's out on his walks (cuz hes gotta do something it gets boring in the house at night after a while) and giorno comes across fugo like, as he's transforming into a full on wolf. Fugo's kinda embarassed by the fact giorno caught him and upon seeing giorno watch him transform, he sprints away. Giorno thought fugo and his big ol white fur coat were really pretty and doesnt chase after him, but thinks about it. A month later, the next full moon and he sees him again, transforming. Giorno just kinda ponders who this pretty stranger is and this time stays more hidded and approaches him slowly. Fugo growls at him at first, but giorno's opener is "Hello, your fur is very pretty. I'm Giorno, Giorno Giovanna" and fugo gets all flustered at being called "pretty" so he decides to approach him, carefully circlin him and gathering his scent to familiarize himself with it. He decides giorno is not a threat, and decides to shift back to his more human complexion, though his wolf ears and tail are still very present, as well as sharp claws and teeth. Fugo gets all nervous and eventually introduces himself and they kinda continue walking at night. Gionro also explains hes a vampire and prefers to thrive at night. Fugo asks to meet up another night and giorno agrees. They continue like that for a few weeks till fugo eventually gives giorno his number, that way they domt have to just walk and talk at night, and their relationship grows from there.

Its such a long Post omg 💀 but thats what i have!

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[coconutnunnicorn]

Black Magic

LOOK HOW NOT SAD I AM AT THIS I didnt edit any of this

No look, I had a whole thing planed out for this and honestly I dont think Imma go through it. 

tw: death, implied rape, implied abuse, for real this is super kind of sick so just please this is bad

angst, abuse, death, implied assault/forced pregnancy/just very bad stuff

E Slur/ Fem / Dabi

+This is not for the faint of heart please, its not super graphic or ugly or maybe you won't even think its that bad, but i just wanna give super clear fair warning.+

=

Im absolute shite at inserts, I suck hard at the whole first-person thing.

=

Bear with me while I get my shite together [Dabi is Touya here] Im kinda tipsey

=

Last WARNING tw: implied rape, forced pregnancy, abuse, kidnapping, DEATH

=

Small, her voice wormed its way into his ear, "I told you." A small pair of palms smoothed their way along his back, "I will be there for you the way you were for me." After everything they had both endured from the man panting before them, it was finally time to take back what he had taken from them. Their power, their strength, their life. Igniting along his arms, the crackling blue of his flame brought life to the dingy alleyway the fight had progressed to, arms outstretched he flexed his fingers.

Drawing her frail form close to his, she took in notice of how much thinner he had gotten over time, how had she missed that. Tightly shut, her eyes began to pulse angrily under the force, she shook away the memories of her last few months. She refused to think of the terrible things that had transpired, her gaze soon fixated around the man, who had saved her from that monster, she wouldn't let Endeavour hurt Touya ever again. "Powering up!"

Dabi let himself relax as small arms slithered around his torso, arms raising just enough to let her to bury her face against his ribs, he had never enjoyed being touched. With her though, it felt almost empowering. Stretching his lips into a sadistic smile, he felt a surge of warmth from where her form moulded with his. He felt - Alive. "Power levels twenty-two per cent, kick back eight per cent." The living inferno had absolutely no clue as to what the slight woman spoke of, but he knew he was starting to feel different.

She knew by now he would have noticed, but she refused to pull her heated gazed from the firey one she now locked with, Endeavour, number one hero. Ge wasn't a hero, he was a monster. He was disgusting, his unbearable desire to have the perfect offspring was suffocating. When she had found out about Rei, she had done all she could to escape the mad man, but, it had not been enough. She just hadn't been strong enough. Now, now she could make him pay, she could help the person she owed her life to, achieve his dreams and in doing so, she - would - make - him - sorry. "Power Levels thirty-four per cent, kick back ten per cent."

He felt a surge wash through his body, the arc of his power swirling higher along his bicep, right into her face. Dabi at first was concerned, but snapping his attention to her form only revealed that she seemed to be absorbing the damage rather than burning. Returning his stare to the man before them, the villain gave a soft scoff, "I expected more. Losing yourself over something so trivial, you always called me weak, like mother, but it was you who caused all of this. I told you I was going to kill you. I meant it."

Cutting him off, she gave a quiet beep of sorts, eyes lighting up like flashlights, "Power levels forty-six per cent - fifty-two per cent, kick back fourteen per cent." Squeezing the man in her grasp, the woman exhaled slow but forcefully, a light blue spark bouncing off her frame to stick to his.

Startled, not so much at the alert, but rather by the fact his flame began to fan almost out of control, Dabi felt his gaze dart around to the fires that licked the walls around then. Oddly, his flesh didn't smoke, his staples held, he certainly felt the heat but the side effects he should have been experiencing weren't there.  It was then that Dabi truly understood what her intentions were here, she wanted to be just as free from him as Dabi did. He didn't blame her, after the traumatic loss of her innocence he understood entirely why she wanted to help him with this. "Power levels maxed out - eighty-three per cent, kick back twenty-two per cent." Glancing down, Dabi almost choked at what he saw, he was certainly starting to smoulder, but her flesh was peeling. Under the eye, around the mouth and down the throat. He was witnessing her rapidly change as he, himself, felt a surge of power unlike any other before. It was as if he were manipulating his quirk for the very first time.

His flames swirled wildly, illuminating the alley brighter than the afternoon sun ever could, expanding and moulding. Her body hurt, her skin hurt, and her brain was starting to go rather numb at this point. She wouldn't stop tho, she would give all she had to see this monster buried in a hole. Watching Enji slowly struggling to his feet, she felt her resolve harden, the words pulling from her broken soul in a sound she didn't recognize at all, "I'll see you burn!"

He would burn, Dabi would make sure, he would burn for the things he had done to him, his family, to her, Endeavours time was officially up and he didn't even know it. Awkwardly. Dabi lowered himself, turning into her embrace, her confused expression left him with a softer chuckle escaping his charred lips. "We can do this." He never would have before allowed anyone to be so close to him, but after all his time with the League, he was beginning to understand the importance of others. Wrapping his form around hers, he folded her frame into his own slender one as he sank their embrace to the asphalt at their feet.

Dabi had always known his quirk was strong, it had been drilled into his head that it was his resolve that made him weak, that it was his own fault his body flayed itself apart at the heat he could generate. Here, in this moment now with her, he knew that just wasn't true. Watching her flesh pull itself into crispy painful strips he couldn't even hear the old man shrieking behind him.

It had been the explosion that had drawn Toga in, the brilliant solar flare of blue that had set the night sky to day for just a moment. Never before had she seen such power from such a familiar shade of electrifying blue, but she would recognize that hue anywhere. Toga had not been expecting to find what she had tho, a tremor moved its way through her spine and into her hands as she watched the scene dissolving before her own eyes. Entangled in one another, it was the woman, and the man Toga had considered her brother and friend. Choking quietly on a sob, the blonde had almost failed to notice the fading away image of a rather famous hero. It was as if he has been incinerated, his body crumbling into dust to be carried away on the wind.

Returning her eyes to her fading friend, she noted the peace in his smile, the way the woman's flesh was charred just like his. Toga wouldn't say the embrace was that of a lover, as she drew closer slowly, she noted the way their foreheads had been pressed to one another. A smile stretched painfully across the woman's face, they had been happy when the events had transpired. Cautiously, Toga reached her fingers out to brush the spiked black do she had come to associate with Dabi. Wrenching from her chest, a sob echoed around her as the pair began to crumble to ash just as the hero had prior. She knew she would have to report back to their leader, but for now, she just couldn't seem to stop the rainfall of emotions working their way from her eyes violently down her face.

First Mange, now Dabi.

[harleyliloquin88]

A Forbidden Love(Part 2)

Pairing: Dean X Reader

Warning: /tension/ angst/ stalking/ some smutt/ wet day dreams/

Tagged list @marvelfansworld @katymacsupernatural @amanda-teaches @waywardrose13 @sourwolf-sterek32 @calciumcow @donnaintx

Summary: it had been five years since you met dean. You go on with your life until one night you have a dream about him. It feels so real until you woke up. Now you question was the dream real or was it just what you fanastize.

For the past weeks you been dreaming about dean but always walking up the same normal nothing different. You wondering if dean was a real guy or was he someone who you though you met. Taking out the red rose from your draw you look at it and start wondering. Studying the red rose in your hand you take a deeper look. Taking a deep look you hear a deep husky voice calling your voice. You look around your room and you wonder where the voice is coming from. Getting off your bed you walk to the kitchen turning ok the light you see nothing out of the ordinary. Shurg to yourself. Taking a step into the bathroom. A pair of green eyes flash before your eyes. You look up but nothing there. You get so lost into your own thoughts you didn't hear your cell ring. You pick up the phone.

"Hello* hey mom" "no not yet* " yes I will be there "no it's just me" "no mom" "okay mom"

Dean trying his best not falling asleep.sitting in a big larger chair. Putting his two fingers to his temple and nodding off a bit. The room is surround by a group of men women and children. Some in very fancy clothing. The room has decorations lights everywhere. Candles burning a tray of food.

Dean tries his best to enjoy the festival but he starring to get bored and doesn't wanna be there at all. A tall young man with shaggy brown hair and hazel eyes sits next to him with a whine glass. He sees his brother not having a good time at all. Pulls up next to him with a bottle of whiskey. Dean looking up at him and rubbing his eyes.

"Why does dad keeping throwing these stupid parties" he says rubbing his eyes and sighing deeply.

"I'm gonna get outta here willing to come with me" he says getting up and grabbing the bottle making his way to the courtyard out back.

Both walking out of the hall room. It was a bright warm night the moon shinning over the big large house. Small breeze swaying through the tall green trees. Walking along the tiny path behind the large house. Walking towards a large hunt looking place. A gated lock. Dean grabs a tiny key from his pocket and pulls it out opening the gated area.

Both walking together down a flight of stairs into a dark room. Turning on the lights. Fillling the dark room with light. A large round table two chairs. A book case behind them. A tiny couch. Pictures of old Viking pictures

Dean and this brother sit down at the table. Dean sitting back and smiling to himself.

"I needed to get out badly Cloudn't stand all the junk. Dean says rubbing his neck. His brother gets yo walks over to the little library and pulls back a book. Opening a little container with a bottle of rum. Dean looks over at his brother who holding the bottle.

"Hmmm I did think you as a much of a drinker Sammy" he says smiling at his beother. Sam grabs the bottle and two glass and come over to the table and places the bottle and glasses.

"Name Sam dean not Sammy anymore' he says pouring the bottle into each of the glasses. Sam sits down and looks at dean. Who takes a sip and almost chokes.

"Damn sam that some stuff" dean says choking a bit and coughing

"Well it has been sitting there for a long time" so I kinda figured why not have a little fun" He says looking at dean you holds up his cup.

"Thanks Sam I needed this" he looks At his brother. Sam can sense something up with his brother he can see it in his eyes. He gives his brother a worried look.

"If your wonder about me don't sam im okay" he says smiling at Sam and taking a long drink.

"Your thinking about her huh? Sam says taking a sip. Dean stops his eyes get wide. Dean sighs putting his hand on his head and just shakes his head.

"Dean it's been fives year's she probably moved on and doing other things. Sam says looking at his brother. Dean sighs to himself.

"I know Sam but I can't forget her sam no matter how much I wanna try Sam I can't. Dean says rubbing his neck. Drinking the small glass of scotch. Sam gives him a sympathic look.

"You know you can't be with her dean" Sam says looking t dean.

Dean gets up from the at table and just stand there and closes his eyes and breaths to himself.

"Sam you don't think I know that' dean say running his hand down his face.

Before he can even say anything he hears a knock in his door. Sam looks up and wonders who it is. Getting up walking over to the door opens the door. Standing there in the door is an older gentlemen. Gray short hair with a mixture of white and grey facial hair.

"Dad* Sam says. Smiling at him. He come into the tiny room with his hands behind his back. He looks around the room and shakes his head.

"Hmmm smaller then when I was in here." He says looking at Sam and dean. Walking over to the tiny table and he sees dean arms crossed and giving his dad a smirk.

"So this must be where the party at* he says grabbing the bottle of scotch and looking at it. He nods his head.

"Hmmm they say the older it gets the better and more potent it gets.

Dean looks up at his dad with an smirk and a sarcastic look. " what can I help you with dad. He says moving in his seat. Sam can sense the tension between dean and his dad. Sam gives dean a look. Dean brushes off the look his brother gives him.

"What do you want dad" dean says looking up at his father. His father looks at dean with a sharp face and laughs walks back and forth holding his chin and laughs.

.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

CYBERVERSE WATCH: S3 Episode 17, 18, 19, 20

Episode 17

Oh nooo Windblade u good??? LASERBEAK AND WINDBLADE OMG!!!

Beaky please don’t peck my girl (that is kinda cute though)

Windblade she isn’t a pest!!!

Laserbeak watches her fly off like “I get no respect and no thanks???”

HECK YEAH GET THEM FLIERS!!! Jetfire please be careful bud, Starscream has some old beef with you

OH NO ALL THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SOUNDWAVES

The only downside to knowing all these characters and getting excited about cameos is it’s that many times more likely that a character I like will die 8(

YEAHH WAY TO GO LASERBEAK you’re the real MVP

JEEZ HE GOT OPTIMUS RIGHT IN THE CHEST

HEY CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE OPTIMUS

OH SHOOT WHO IS THAT

OH FRICK OH FRICK ITS MEGATRON!!! HELL YEAH

Megatron, a million universes away: My “Optimus is in trouble” and “Starscream is being a menace” senses are tingling, gotta go back to Cybertron

FRICK that was a cool entrance

Oh man what happened to his eye--HOLY FRICK HE LOOKS HOT

AYYYYYY ITS THE OG BLACK HELMET MEGATRON LOOK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MAN I FRICKIN LOVE MEGATRON

KUP NOW ISN”T THE TIME FOR YOUR COMMENTARY (that was cute though)

Oh my gosh when Starscream started to say “You’re too late to save your--” for one very frightful minute I thought he was going to say something about Optimus like “partner” or something and I felt every muscle in my body tense up lmao, I should’ve known better but RATS

WHAT

WHAT THE FRICK THAT WAS SO FRICKIN COOL

IS THERE ANYTHING HOTTER THAN WAKING UP TO SEE YOUR OLD FLAME STANDING OVER YOU GLOWING LIKE A VENGEFUL ANGEL ABOUT TO KICK STARSCREAM’S BUTT

POWERS OF CYBERTRON UNITE??!?!?!?!?

EVEN OPTIMUS GOT SOME

BOYFRIENDS PUNCHING STARSCREAM’S ARMY OF QUINTESSONS TOGETHER!!!! SHADOWSTRIKER!!! BEE AND SOUNDWAVE!!!! GOSH THIS IS SO GOOD

WRECK THEIR SHOP SOUNDWAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Starscream you’ve sentenced them like five thousand times what’s new about this OH RIGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT GLOB STUFF

ASTROTRAIN!?!?!?!?

Starscream: NO ONE CAN STOP ME *CUTS TO WINDBLADE* wanna bet nerd

I LOVE my beautiful girl

Oh that is some nasty looking Quintesson tech

Uh oh u good Windblade???

Croaton can you please slap Starscream out of the sky before you leave it’d save us a lot of time

Aw man I wonder what Megatron saw that made him sorta regret the stuff with Starsc

WH

HE”S BARING HIS SPARK!?!?!? WAIT IS THAT ANOTHER MATRIX

ARE THEY GONNA FUSE????

MEGATRON PRIME

GOSH I REALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO FRICKIN SPARK FUSE THERE FOR A SECOND

*CUE “THE POWER OF LOVE” AT FULL VOLUME*

Ok but what the heck did Astrotrain do???

If you get along with someone you don’t like the universe probably won’t end pfft, thanks Kup

CREEPY BUGS???

Megatron please take his hand :(((

IM LOSING IT MEGATRON REALLY IS A HUGE KID *takes out a piece of chalk and draws a line between them* this is MY side of Cybertron, this is yours

guess galavanting through space didn’t change him TOO much

Guhhh these opposing sides shots always break my heart I WISH THEY COULD OVERCOME THEIR DIFFERENCES AND BE FRIENDS AGAIN SOMEHOW....

Dang Astrotrain is HUGE compared to the rest of the bots, I wonder what he looks like in bot mode

SO MUCH HAPPENED IN THAT EPISODE (and I had to take a break in the middle of it) I FORGOT I STILL HAD THREE LEFT thank the stars

I genuinely can't believe Megatron essentially drew a line between him and Optimus and went "This side of Cybertron is MINE, the other side is yours" 

*cue shenanigans of Autobot and Decepticon buddies trying to secretly cross the line to visit their friends in the other faction* 

gosh fanfic always depicts Megatron and Optimus sneaking around meeting each other for smoochies I'd LOVE to see their subordinates being the ones doing the sneaking around while Megatron and Optimus are just like "GUYS....". Fingers crossed for the next episode!

Episode 18

CYBERTRON LOOKS SO PRETTY....

oh my gosh they actually built a wall

WAIT DID CLOBBER SERIOUSLY SWITCH SIDES OMG SHES AN AUTOBOT NOW

WHAT BEE CAN FLY!?!?!? WHAT!!!

LMAO LOCKDOWN NICE BOARDER PATROLLING

Well it took all of 30 seconds to confirm my theory lmao man I frickin love this show

Man I can’t believe how quickly they beat the Quintessons, I REALLY THOUGHT THE AUTOBOTS AND DECEPTICONS UNITING AGAINST THEM WOULD BE THE BIG SEASON FINALE I’m thrown for a loop now lol

ew those colors remind me of Sentinel Prime I hope that’s not him

OH WAIT IS THAT IACONUS MY BAD

PRIMA???? OH?????

Grand Imperium?????

Omg did Rack’nRuin switch sides too? I thought they were Decepticons

JETFIRE COME ON BUD OPTIMUS IS TRYING TO HAVE HIS MOMENT

Croaton city!!!

LMAO SKYBITE’S SHARING HIS POETRY....CUTE...

But where is Soundwave!!!!!

I’m with you Bee, those insects are creepy

WOW ASTROTRAIN IS HUGE

“And WHO rescued you from that tyrant” OH??? ANOTHER UNIVERSE’S MEGATRON MAYHAPS???

“I must know if the barrier holds!” OH!!!! Oh no is the final battle gonna be against all the other universe’s people who Megatron burned as he gallivanted through the multiverse??? I SURE HOPE SO

Gosh not to be predictable but that new armor looks so frickin good on Megatron

OPTIMUS IS SO STRONG

POOR OPTIMUS....

“During wartime, decision-making came so easily” MAN....THAT HURTS.....

oh he’s looking for Windblade!!!

AW SHADOW STRIKER C’MON, I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE BUDS NOW

“I know better than ANYONE what it’s like to be left broken on the battlefield. I did what I could” MY HEART JUST SWELLED THREE SIZES FOR SHADOW STRIKER....I LOVE HER....(ALSO THAT HURT)

Bee it REALLY seems like you should’ve had a plan / backup team for this!!!

BEE YOU’RE GONNA RESTART THE WAR!!

RODIMUS!!! YOU’RE BACK TO YOUR RED FLAME SELF!!!

WHIRL!!! OMG MY BABY

Wow that wall does a crummy job of keeping out fliers

SOMEONE PLEASE CATCH WINDBLADE

Thank you Whirl

OH JEEZ HERE COMES MEGATRON

SKYWARP!!! (I say while being super scared for my faves)

Whoa Megatron actually backed down

Nice

CHROMIA!!!! SAVE HER PLEASE

Episode 19

Ohhh are we gonna get to see Caminus??????

BEAST MACHINES?????

omg they’re gonna have to collect Windblade’s mind like they collected Bee’s memories

Chromia that doesn’t sound too convincing (you’re super cute though so I forgive you)

MORE BIRDIES!!!

A CYBER HORSE????

IT”S A  JET!?!??!

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH IT”S CRYSTAL CITY!!!!!!

AGAIN, I WANNA SHAKE HANDS WITH EVERY BACKGROUND DESIGNER WHO WORKED ON THIS SHOW

OHHH mirror selves!!! Scary but pretty!!

OH MY GOSH!!! IS THAT RAVAGE!?!?!?!?

PLEASE LET ME SEE MY LITTLE BOY!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE BE RAVAGE

HOLY FRICK THAT LOOKED AWESOME??? KNIGHT??? A REALLY COOL KNIGHT???? WHO ARE YOU

Thunderhow??

My first thought was “Someone got their Warriors Cat oc into Transformers” and that cracked me up

KNIGHT OF THE PRIMES???

THIS STAINED-GLASS STYLE ANIMATION IS GORGEOUS

I like this dude but something tells me they’re gonna have to fight / kill him later

Bee’s smile is so cute!!

lmao nice lore-speak Chromia

They should just blast through the walls of the maze

“That sounds like a nightmare” “Scrap that!” THEYRE SO CUTE omg way to break the rules you two

CRYSTAL WINDBLADE!!!!

oh shoot many crystal windblades

I love the little “tink tink tink” sounds her feet make

Just her arm???? Jeez louise are the rest of the episodes gonna be about collecting Windblade?

Oh it’s Thunderhound

Optimus is just like “PLEASE leave me alone”

Petition for Optimus Prime to just get a frickin vacation

Episode 20

Man I’m so sad this series is almost over

Everyone in Mac’s bar without Mac..... :( Cute to see Percy as the bartender though

IS...IS THAT WHEELJACK?

OMG WAIT THAT”S THE COSMIC RUST WHEELJACK BACK FROM LIKE EP 2 or 3 IN SEASON 1????

“The Past” I FRICKIN KNEW WE’D SEE YOU AGAIN!!! IT WAS TOO WEIRD HAVING HIM WANDER AROUND IN AN EPISODE WITH NO EXPLANATION LIKE THAT

COWBOY WHEELJACK IS SO GOOD

Man Cyberverse is so frickin weird, I love this cartoon

Oh there’s my boy Soundwave

JEEZ THIS DUDE’S GOT NO FEAR

Megatron looks so cute...

“This is Autobot territory! You can’t--oh guess you can” pfft

I can’t believe Transformers is a western now

Optimus is the sheriff around these parts lol

Aw man Optimus JUST put that thing in there

OPTIMUS IS SO STRONG....I LOVE MY BUFF BOY

WILDWHEEL? Oh my bad, guess that’s not Wheeljack

“No one ever tried to find me” :(((( I wonder how many other bots felt that way

“I was one of the good guys! But you left me on that planet!” OW....

Pretty terrible shot Wild Wheel

OH NO....Innocent civilian got hurt, now Optimus is serious

Wild Wheel Optimus has been through a WAR your cowboy training aint gonna cut it

WELL THAT WAS A. WEIRD EPISODE. ALRIGHTY THEN I can’t wait to see how Wild Wheel is going to pop up in future episodes

Me: haha evil cowboy robot Wild Wheel: I felt abandoned because no one searched for me and I was forced to do horrible things in order to find my way home Me, tears streaming down my face: Haha....cowboy robot

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

u guys know how crystalisks change color depending on element?

ohhh yeah

tl;dr: i went off on crystalisks for a while, started talking about vault monsters/guardians and siren tattoos, bloodwing, krieg, the elemental hierarchy, the bandits that got mutated by the vault key piece, the eridian ruins powering up, the moon [elpis] being teleported in that new vid we got with steve and claptrap, i rant about eleseer and technologically created pocket dimensions (heyo), and also there’s commander lily spoilers in here so be warned

i talked about a lot of things. i promise i linked them all together. somehow.

so we got the normal crystalisks that do explosive stuff

got Blue (the aptly named big blue crystalisk) that deals shock damage

(we also see a few more in hayter’s folly)

got Rouge the red one that deals fire damage

I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen any green crystalisks since they’re pretty common in the caustic caverns.

anyway the reason im bringing this up now is because a very very long time ago (jesus christ, 2017) i had a theory that crystalisks were kinda like pets to the Eridians, like guard dogs of the ruins in the caustic caverns. which could explain why they were friendly (iirc Blue was even playing fetch with Booth) until Dahl started mining them

mostly cause of the guardian ruins everywhere

also, they show up in the Vault of the Warrior, as well. which is curious.

the other reason im bringing this up now is because im wondering if their crystals have any relation whatsoever to the purple crystals we see sprouting out of the ground in bl3.

they hang out in the ground when not active, mimicking said crystals, and there are yellow crystals sprouting out of the ground in bl2 that, when meleed, produce the same crystals crystalisks do when they die. (tho now im wondering if we’ve just been senselessly murdering crystalisk babies :|)

bonus: we know threshers are native to elpis, not pandora, and their blood is green. Crystalisk blood is blue, which could possibly hint at the fact they’re an alien species to Pandora. AFAIK rakk, skag, bullymong, stalker, and spiderant blood is all red. and so is bandit blood. (unless they’ve been huffing Eridium sludge like Zarpedon. then it glows purple i guess.)

anyway

you guys know how vault monsters change color based on element?

just recently fought this bad boy so i have a plethora of pictures

(this one is cryo)

(slag/base- which you know, makes sense. gotta slag em before u can swap guns)

(this one is shock)

nasty boy

also, interesting to note: we never got ‘explosive’ as an element with the sentinel and in bl3, explosive was taken out of the element list

you know how Siren tattoos also change color based on element?

sorry i would show amara’s green/corrosive tattoos BUT this was the leaked clip that i had on hand

ohhhh yeah.

now we know Siren tattoos are blue when using their base powers. according to amara, this blue means electricity is the ‘base’ element for sirens (which just plain isn’t true given what we’ve seen with maya and lilith, unless they show that further in bl3 where lilith uses phasewalk without her tattoos going red... which I’m guessing will not happen lol)

which has me like 🤔

we know in the original borderlands the vault key is blue for the vault of the destroyer

in all it’s technological glory

then it changes to purple in bl2. and apparently, we even get red in bl3.

so i know what you’re thinking “well blue must be the base element then” but imma posit that it’s actually not

We know the sentinel, when it comes out of the Vault, the first element it is is ‘purple’ (aka slag/eridium i guess, since slag isn’t in TPS). which, as we said above, makes sense.

we know the Warrior was a biological weapon built/modified by the Eridians for... some reason. It was under complete control of whoever opened the Vault. (the warrior actually has 2 elements afaik, the slag tail/wings and the fire)

I wanna say we were SUPPOSED to open the Vault of the Warrior first. Then open the Vault of the Destroyer and annihilate it with our new cool biological weapon

so then the order would be purple -> blue -> uhhh something something

oh and Siren tattoos appear to always be purple when interacting with Eridium stuff

like when Lily touches the vault key in the Vault of the Warrior, her tattoos glow purple

when Lilith is being mind controlled by Jack/the collar/charging Eridium her tattoos are purple

etc etc

also MAJOR COMMANDER LILY SPOILERS BELOW

her tattoos glow purple during the final cutscene i believe. bonus i’m pretty sure the vault map was glowing white when inside hector. it was still purple on the outside tho soooo take that as you will. i had a picture but i removed it because i didn’t wanna spoil anything for anyone. the whispy bits do remind me of angel’s wings

SPOILERS ARE DONE

dunno if any of this is important but i will say

when u fight a badass skag that’s been charged by an element and is implied to be the result of eridium runoff aka slag? mmm that’s the good shit.

Bloodwing?? her base color is purple. but jack is able to change her element based on outside stimuli (and, again, explosive isn’t actually seen as an element, just a joke... a really... fucked up... joke...)

we also know a lot of the bandits were mutated by the vault key (piece?) in sledge’s mine. might help explain burning psychos (the ones that are literally on fire). 

also maybe the eridian ruins are starting to give off ‘radiation’. you know how the original Eridian Ruins in BL1 were like white/blueish and then all the ones we find in BL2 are purple-ish? maybe they started charging up once the first Vault was opened and that allowed more and more bandits to start getting 

borderlands 1

vs

borderlands 2

(sorry for the shitty screencap, i hope it’s clear enough)

oh also maybe krieg’s ability to breathe fire and light himself on fire since he was a hyperion experiment. dunno if they did slag testing on him or not but... all things considered... it’s a probably maybe. wasn’t his assassin’s assassin the woman in the ECHO logs you find around the WEP?

also Terry the thresher? probably mutated like hell from living in those Vault ruins. might explain the size. also threshers being from the moon might just give them the fire/wormhole abilities inherently. since apparently the moon is some top secret eridian base that can see the future. im not even surprised. also you know. terry drops e-tech stuff upon decimation.

anyway i think Pandora is a lot older than Elpis and that’s why Elpis appears super fucking high-tech compared to Pandora’s ruins.

I mean look at the above then look down here

which makes sense, you’d make the planet before you make the moon yeah?

so elpis was probably put in place to watch over Pandora, maybe the Destroyer and the Warrior’s fight or maybe even to predict the future of that fight. maybe the eridians got paranoid and were like ‘fuck this’ and vanished because they were told they couldn’t win.

i do go into that whole theory of ‘zarpedon saw what the twins are about to do in bl3 and jack ain’t shit’ in an older post of mine so i won’t go into it here, but that’s another option as to why the eridians just booked it the hell outta dodge

bonus: in tycho’s ribs, some of the glowy lights are not actually purple, they’re red-ish

which has me thinking about the glowing red Vault Map we see in the Dev trailer. wonder if that’s going to lead up to elpis

oh! and speaking of elpis

yeah i don’t think that’s just an aesthetic thing cause holy shit

we’re all going to die!

yeah i actually have no idea what’s happening to the moon here

but im going to take a wild guess and draw your attention to that one scene with lilith

when she uhhh teleports in using her firehawk powers

we see it again when tyreen teleports in bandits on promethea

and they look

really

darn

familiar

im not saying we’re gonna teleport the moon but hOLY SHIT would that be F*CKING AWESOME

we also know ‘the moon is the key’ as shown on the cover art sooooo

it’s entirely possible?

which brings me to another point i made a while ago when the booth intro got leaked and i was talking about the ‘vault’ ‘not-vault’ area and decided it was on pandora because of the moon, but made a joke that maybe it wasn’t because i guess we could just move the moon.

what if it actually wasn’t lmao

nah im just playing, i’m pretty sure those are Rakk flying around there, but HEY it’d be cool!

also it’s pretty fucked up what’s happening on elpis considering it looks like it’s being bathed in fire... sucks for everyone on concordia but hey, if it means getting rid of pickle, im game.

OH GOD DAMN IT HE WAS ON SANCTUARY WITH TINA FUC-

anyway.

i wanna move the moon

oh also im still not convinced eleseer isn’t found by going thru a wormhole/alternate dimension/pocket rip/whatever

like, you know how to fight the Sentinel you go inside that giant purple crystal that looks like/is probably eridium? and the arena is WAYYY bigger than it ought to be? and it looks like the outside is made out of glowing graph paper and sick guy fieri flames that’s probably supposed to imply some sort of technological feeling?

oh and it does the “lilith just yeeted u to bloodshot stronghold- just kidding’ effect! which... y’know. my only gripe with that is it actually does appear to be somewhere inside eleseer given if u look at the ceiling it does look to be the same sky you see outside eleseer... but where the fck is eleseer... is it in another dimension inside the moon? bc i still refuse to believe the entire moon is being supported by that area... wouldn’t you see the crust?? somewhere? and it being in another dimension would help explain the whole ‘yeah you’re exactly where you were five seconds ago... but also you’re not because you’re in this arena and it’s clipping except it’s not so even though the sky looks the same because you’re in the same exactly spot you were in 5 seconds ago, you’re actually not (but you are)’. because what the fuck my scrub brain can’t comprehend that!

but god i wanna know if the eridians were harnessing the power of eridium and learned how to create pocket dimensions using their technology and fuckin DID IT the mad lads. i mean isn’t that what Vaults are? just little rips in this dimension. it’s the good shit.

also i wanna know why the Destroyer seemed to have pockets of slag/eridium on it’s tentacles when he’s supposed to be the VILLAIN tm of bl1 and also the eridians. might help explain why eridium only starts appearing after you off that physical rendition of him. also [see that one post i made about the crystals being corpses].

wow.

yeah.

i just spent a straight 2 hours doing nothing but typing this post. i should really go to bed. imma go do that

tomorrow i wanna talk about the seraph vendor. cause i can.

[greymuse]

Witchy QnA

1. Are you solitary or in a coven?

Solitary!

2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other?

Witch, or Enchantress if I wanna sound fancy

3. What is your zodiac sign?

Leo sun, Aquarius moon, Leo rising

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess?

Nope

5. Do you work with a Pantheon?

Nope

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or any other kind of divination?

Tarot sometimes

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any)

Im just starting to get into more physical items. I was raised to do most things mentally.

8. How would you define your craft?

Im not sure? Green but a lil eclectic

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do?

I dont think of it as cursing. More so protection from certain people.

10. How long have you been practicing?

I found out about what I was already doing as being Witchcraft a couple months ago. But Ive been using Tarot, using kitchen Witch spells, as “prayers” as spells since I can remember

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars?

Nope. I hope to have one soon though

12. Do you believe in Karma or
Reincarnation?

Absolutely believe in karma. Reincarnation, possibly. Its definitely something I think about

13. Do you have a magical name?

Nope.

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”?

My whole moms side practices casually, so I mean I guess? But I havent referred to  myself as a Witch or something like that.

15. What was the last spell you performed?

I enchanted a ring I got. Also, a money spell that worked but uhh its definitely showing me that I need to work harder.

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable?

Im pretty decent. Most of what I look up is common knowledge to me

17. Do you write your own spells?

I havent yet, but I also dont do many spells verbally. I more so visually manifest

18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up?

I do, Its just a plain lil notebook, I have just some basic reference sheet type things in it.

19. Do you worship nature?

Absolutely

20. What is your favorite gemstone?

rose quartz. or tigers eye

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work?

I dont particularly enjoy using animal/ human materials. I use natural things, like dirt and water.

  22. Do you have an altar?

Not so much a physical Altar, but my bed is definitely my safe space and I can clear my mind here the easiest.

23. What is your preferred element?

Water, but fire always make me wide eyed and curious. definitely curious. but its destructive potential scares me.

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist?

Not art all haha

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch?

Im not sure!

26. What got you interested in witchcraft?

realizing that I had been practicing for my whole life and I hadnt known before

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch?

yeah, with my mom and her mom. I just didnt know at the time. We do protection spells often.

28. Have you ever used ouija?

yup! with my mom and her mom. Its just a family thing we do every time we all get together. I grew up thinking it was completely normal.

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic?

My mom says I used to be. I used to dream about natural disasters before they happened as a kid. I dont think im too good anymore. just empathetic.

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it?

I dont think I do. If anything, I do feel a feminine energy? dark (like a shadow, not negative) and watery is the best way I can describe it. But its not a human  entity. Just energy.

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started?

That not everyone believes what you do. And its totally okay! Just maybe dont loudly announce your Ouija board antics with your science teacher in middle school.

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite?

I havent before, but im going to try to this year

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children?

Absolutely. I want my son to grow up the same way I did around magick. Itll be normal for him.

34. Do you meditate?

Sometimes! its definitely something im trying to do more often.

35. What is your favorite season?

Fall and Spring! Theres so much change

36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform?

Im not sure yet! Ive only just started branching out and actually considering what ive been doing all my life as magick.

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life?

Daily affirmations/ protection spells, I manifest me and my sons happiness and safety every day.

38. What is your favorite witchy movie?

I dont think Ive seen any haha

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why?

The Darkest Powers books by Kelly Armstrong. More supernatural (vampires, werewolves, stuff like that) but I loved it growing up.

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not.

Knowingly, a protection spell from someone who had hurt me

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you?

Im not sure! I can see auras if i really focus and can tune into someone, so maybe when i saw a family member with a pure black aura? That was freaky

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use?

I dont use candles! Bonfires or fires in fireplaces usually, to burn a paper if needed. Again, I dont  trust myself with fire very much.

43. What is your favorite witchy tool?

My crystals and my tarot. They all have vibrations. Everything does but especially those, because im so connected to them

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools?

I want to!  Havent yet

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits?

Spirits, yes. I can call on family that Ive known in person for protection. Been doing that as long as i can remember

46. Do you practice color magic?

I used to! i dont really anymore. 

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind?

My mom, aunt, and grandma! 

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies?

Dollar store, thrift store, antique stores (though im always hesitant to use something that belonged to someone else. If there isnt a close emotional attachment, there wont be any noticeable vibrations.

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate?

I think theres a general way that things can happen. More like a decide your fate book. There are multiple options, it just depends on what you choose.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice?

Meditate, or go to the lake.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences?

ohhhh boy. I got stories.

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve?

People thinking theyre better bc they have a crap ton of materials, thinking im less than because I visualize easier than with material items.

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent?

I do, I just cant very often. I have a child and very smell sensitive people livingg with me

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind?

I rarely ever remember a dream, so no

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster?

Im not sure ive had one yet

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success?

I havent seen who i dont want to see since protecting myself

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about?

 Everything, haha. I think thats why I enjoy visualizing instead of rituals or verbal stuff.

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too?

Absolutely!

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work?

yes, I feel like it //can be// kinda like a genie in a bottle type thing. Itll work, but not without a price.

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain?

Nope

61. What is something witch related that you want right now?

A cauldron to mix and burn things in haha

62. What is your rune of choice?

I dont know yet! Runes are something Im looking into

63. What is your tarot card of choice?

My birth card, the Tower.

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite?

I love lemon and eucalyptus 

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses?

nope!

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public?

Nope

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch?

No one that would feel that way knows anything about it

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines?

nope

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft?

Yes. Its like knowing world history and us history, We need to learn from the past.

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch?

I feel powerful, and connected and accepted by nature.

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch?

having to tiptoe around things around certain people

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band?

Nope! ill have to look into it

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how?

I havent fully figured out what i want to do for the moon cycles yet, but I definitely want to. the moon and water are so closely related

74. Do you ever work skyclad?

No, but i mean.. maybe one day?

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how?

I feel like i have more control of how im able to use my emotions and feelings

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice?

The energy i talked about before.. It gets more intense and stronger sometimes, and i know i need to put more time and effort into my practice

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc)

no, but i do believe in energy. not ghosts per say but definitely energy

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol?

I try to make most of them myself. I have one for protection while driving that i use for me and my boyfriend a lot. And one for the safety of my son.

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not?

Not as of right now. I did bleed onto my tarot cards on accident though..

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice?

Theres a difference  between “doesnt understand and doesnt care to” and “fully doest support and refuses to let you practice safely”. I dont mind the first, but wouldnt stay with the second.

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow?

Reading auras, and tarot. Also just connecting with nature more

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice?

I love fall scents! but no, i dont really use candles

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it?

Meditate and protect

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice?

My mom honestly lmao. i dont think she views herself as a full witch though.And my aunt

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity?

I dont worship dieties. But i like to just be in natural and connect emotionally, nonverbally to this energy Im somehow connected with.

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients?

In this lil wooden box my mom gave me for my birthday to hold the tarot cards my grandma gave me haha.

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of?

my mom. aunt, and grandma. I know my grandpas grandma was a voodoo witch too.

  88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?

I havent seen much about nonverbal, mostly mental witchcraft. So i guess  thats one unique thing.

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they?

A couple things. Feeling vibrations, the connection to nature, auras, growing up surrounded by it.

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven?

I believe you can initiate yourself. I dont feel the need for someone elses validation is i know my connection with nature is real

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought?

crystals, lmao

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been?

The southern oregon coast. honestly everywhere in oregon feels so alive and vibrating so heavily with energy. The water and the lush greenery is perfection.

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?

I have no idea, I dont follow a deity

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation?

quiet, listen to music i like and that help calm me, slightly cool, a breeze is good. the sound of real water flowing from a lake or ocean. recordings of water dont help me. sometimes white noise if theres too much noise

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?

visualization is the easiest thing for me. ive always daydreamed so heavily that itll be like im dreaming with my eyes totally open and tracking. 

  96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?

early mornings, right as the sun is coming up.

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work?

I like doing spell work before bed, when the moon is bright enough to light up what im doing

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly?

I dont know if it counts as casting a circle? but i visualize a swirling white ball of energy, starting out like a strawberry size in my hands, and every time i breath in, it gets bigger. Its a protection circle. i learned to do it at like?? 3 years old?

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice?

Yup!

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces?

If i had to guess, id say multiple gods/ goddesses. one entity shouldnt have that much power imo.

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy?

Ive been trying to go vegetarian, and i eat minimal eggs and dairy.

102. What is your favorite color and why?

dark, smokey colors. grey, black, dark muted purples, navy, smoky pink.

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?

I dont have many people im even slightly into that stuff, let alone a witch. So usually just “how do i cleanse my house? i think its haunted” type stuff

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest?

Feel, haha, physically and emotionally.

105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?

Always properly cleanse new materials, haha

[trickstarbrave]

sigyn is here, and i know it. i can feel it. and loki is too but hes taken a step back for a while as have i, and i think i know why he did. 

he was waiting for me to be ready for sigyn. 

she came last night. i was just doing my thing (and also ended up not sleeping enough lol), trying to look for stuff to connect w norse polytheism in the tags. and i saw her name. and i just felt the urge to know a lot more for the first time. now dont get me wrong i havent been ignoring her, i know her and accept her as my god’s wife after all and all shes done for him. the love she has shown. i just never felt the draw and urge. 

well she came. hence my question for stuff for her and even UPG (which yknow if you still wanna share, im still open). she kinda just let herself in quietly. not as loudly as loki, shes still just.... kinda here. i can feel her. not too close and not too far, almost radiating and moving and getting........ all up over me. its hard to explain my god sensations so we’ll leave it at that. she hasnt said anything yet but its been hard for my godphone lately. 

i was in class today, as i usually do and listening to music that goes hard, that is angry, and just doing what i do best: living in the anger in my head, feeling it, thinking of situations. i was thinking about spite, about rage, about the world. and normally i just let that sort of thing burn me up, the adrenaline is the fuel in my body. but this time it sort of built up and.... faded slowly. like telfon it wouldnt stick, it just sort of slipped off during the rly serious emotional peaks and i found myself.... not needing it. not needing the self serving rage. 

not like she was pushing me to not feel it because Anger Is Bad, that wasnt the vibe at all. the anger was there, it just wasnt spiking, it wasnt peaking, i wasnt burning myself up from the inside in rage. i know that happens, and thats not wrong either, but festering in nothing but anger in my own head, rage, fantasies about power and retribution.... at some point it stops being healthy. at some point its just bad.

i knew months ago something was wrong. there was a prof who in reaction to a terrible letter left on her office building responded with patience, who took it as a point to learn, to communicate to her students and peers and colleagues. who took it as a point to apologize, even though she wasnt in the wrong. she was humble, she was kind, not guilt driven just...... patient. and i realized going home i didn’t understand it. i had forgotten what it was like to react with anything but rage. i had been seeped in anger so long i forgot how to respond to things with tragedy and malice with anything other than just. rage. rage that was consuming. rage that was blinding. hate that clouded your eyes and soul with no gain or goal. anger that was self serving and self destructive. anger that had no limits. and i felt..... bad. i felt wrong. i felt upset. how could i not understand her? how could i have forgotten genuine compassion and love and education? how could i not see you need both patience and directed anger to make a change in the world? 

you cant simply destroy things when you dont even know how to rebuild them better. you cant. its foolish to think so. its foolish to think thats the answer. its foolish to think its more important to hate my enemies twice as much as they hate me than it is to love my communities and families twice as much as their hate. i cant hate them more than they hate me. i cant hate them so much that they burn up from it. and when they are gone, they will have succeeded in making me forget how to love. making me forget how understanding feels. making me forget what its like to not live always in defense, always in fear. 

loki taught me its okay to be angry, to not bottle it up. but all im doing rn is letting it burn out of me from the inside. ive forgotten long ago how to rebuild, how to genuinely laugh at my foes, how to pick my battles, how to let go and heal inside. i forgot. so he brought me someone who probably taught him how to do all that

sigyn showed up rn i think bc im ready to... start a life. move out. move in with my girlfriend. make decisions about the rest of our lives together. work towards saving for engagement rings. work towards saving for a wedding. and i cant... do that if i cant move on. i cant do that if i forgot how to build. i cant do that if i cant let go, if i cant stop burning myself up as kindling for my own rage. thats not healthy. thats not right. 

i thought my reading was abt my trauma, how i have been struggling with it and thats whats been getting in the way of my spiritual side and causing trouble for me consciously. and it probably has. but its kinda just hit me that its my anger. its my rage i have cultivated with my own being in the fire instead of outside it. there is no way destroying myself to destroy my enemies will ever end well for me. 

this is getting rly long and im also very sick today, and sleep deprived, but thats the little Journey i just went on in less than 24 hours. i have a long way to go but. i feel lighter. loki is a god of anger and change and revenge but also he is not burning fire. hes air. he fans the flames just as often as he gives a gentle cool breeze. its about the balance. its about seeing and understanding myself and what i need. and i think im ready to learn 

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 38

*inhales*

It’s here. Pray for me.

(Also, this should be pretty obvious, but this is indeed a chapter with a sex scene, so there will be NSFW text so maybe skip this one if you don’t wanna read that kinda stuff)

And Aelin knew if she didn’t get the hell out of this city for an hour or two, she might very well explode again.

I’m out of witty remarks to make about Alien’s piss poor temper at this point. Can you believe hundreds of people died painful and brutal deaths last chapter and all SJM focuses on is Alien’s feefees?

Rolfe and Alien have “edgy” “thrilling” “banter” where they insult one another, blah blah blah, you’re not here for that.

Also Rolfe sold his soul for the map on his hands which resulted in his sister and mother dying. How many nameless characters are gonna be murdered by SJM’s hands to give her main characters something to angst over holy shit.

Aelin rasped, “No. I don’t know what happened. One minute it was us … then she came.” She rubbed at her chest, avoiding the touch of the golden chain against it. Her throat tightened as she took in that spot on [Rowan’s] own chest, right between his pectorals. Where her fist had been aimed.

FJDHFKJAHJDAS OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MALE EQUIVALENT OF SJM BRINGING TOO MUCH FOCUS ON HER FEMALE CHARACTERS BREASTS I AM ACTUALLY CHOKING AKDHFKHAFJKHD

“If I had killed you,” she hissed, but choked on the words, unable to finish the thought, the idea of it.

This book would be a lot better since it would mean less Aelin gushing and less Ratlin being hailed as the best relationship evah

“She enjoyed every rutting second of it. She wanted to see what my power might do, what she could do with my body, with the key.” [Aelin’s] flames burned hotter, shredding through her clothes until they were ash, until she was naked and clothed in only her own fire.

??? i ????? this is not a private beach???? youre a queen what if someone walked in on you naked im?????? im so confused why does she do this???

“How can you be so … fine with this?” Embers sprayed from [Aelin] like a swarm of fireflies.

FHSHJSD THIS FUCKING IMAGERY SJM YOU’RE KILLING ME

Rowan shucked off his boots, tossing them onto the dry sand behind him. “Because I’m the only one arrogant and insane enough to ask Mala Fire- Bringer to let me stay with the woman I love.” [Aelin’s] flames turned to pure gold at the words—at that word. But she said, “Perhaps you’re just the only one arrogant and insane enough to love me.”

Love it when Alien writes my snarks for me. Makes these chapter reviews a whole lot easier!

Aelin let [Rowan] pivot her in the surf and sand to face him fully, let him slide his mouth along her jaw, the curve of her cheekbone, the point of her Fae ear.“These,” he said, nibbling at her earlobe, “have been tempting me for months.”

Oh god here we go

Before we proceed, let’s have a little chat, shall we? SJM’s sex scenes? They fucking suck. This isn’t an erotica novel, therefore sex scenes serve to help us feel the connection between characters, no? I don’t mind sex scenes; I’ve read many before that made me emotional because if they’re well written, they demonstrate how much a couple loves each other.

But SJM fails so hard at sex scenes. Her sex scenes isn’t about the bond between the characters, it’s about her jerking off to fae peen. They’re so hilariously unsexy with the shitty writing and bizarre word choice, and since I don’t like any of her characters, why should I care? Her sex scenes are there solely to trick readers into thinking these books are hot and sexy. But its much easier to show you rather than explain, so.....*sigh* Here we go.

Rowan obliged her silent demand, pressing kisses and soft, growling nips to her throat. “I’ve never taken a woman on a beach,” he purred against her skin, sucking gently on the space between her neck and shoulder. “And look at that—we’re far from any sort of … collateral.”

Am i reading a bad fanfic? Tell me how the characters feel! If i want graphic descriptions of Rowboat fucking Alien, I’d look up fanfics on AO3. Tell me how they feel! Also Rowboat was literally insisting they shouldn’t fuck like animals out in the wilderness at the beginning of the book. Oh, how naive I was back then to the horrors I would endure...

Aelin remembered herself enough to say, “Someone might come looking for us.” Rowan huffed a laugh against her neck. “Something tells me,” he said, his breath skittering along her skin, “you might not mind if we were discovered. If someone saw how thoroughly I plan to worship you.”

JKDSKHDKADHKASJD YOU’RE JUST OKAY WITH SOMEONE POSSIBLY RUINING YOUR SEX BY WALKING BY. LIKE WTF WOULD YOU JUST CONTINUE FUCKING IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID WALK BY?? IS THAT WHAT YOU WOULD DO???

His lips crushed into hers, and he said onto her mouth, dropping words more precious than rubies and emeralds and sapphires into her heart, her soul, “I love you. There is no limit to what I can give to you, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you.”

God ok I take it back I don’t need to know how the characters feel. This is just too much. Pro tip, declaration of love are better kept simple and sweet, with all that big mushy stuff left unsaid. Also pro tip, try to find other ways of characters saying they love one another rather than just “I love you”, having them have their own special ways of expressing their loves just makes it more special and interesting to read and tugs on the heartstrings. Having them give huge speeches like this is just too much for me personally and doesn’t make their declarations of love feel special or meaningful

Aelin didn’t know when she started crying, when her body began shaking with the force of it. She had never said such words—to anyone.

Uh, yeah you have? She’s expressed similar love to Chaol in Crown of Midnight, calling him her home and whatnot. Pretty similar declarations of love.

Rowan pulled back, wiping away her tears with his thumbs, one after another. He said softly, barely audible over the crashing waves around them, “Fireheart.” She sniffed back tears. “Buzzard.”

Human brain: They’re disgusting and annoying characters I am not attached to their shitty abusive relationship in the slightest

Monkey brain: special couple nicknames,, pure and soft,,, favorite trope,,,

“You … are so beautiful.” She knew he didn’t just mean the skin and curves and bones. But Aelin still smiled, humming. “I know,” she said

I fucking hate Aelin’s vain ass

“Is it that different? With someone like me.” “I don’t know,” Rowan admitted. Again, his eyes slid along her body, as if he could see through skin to her burning heart beneath. “I’ve never been with… an equal. I’ve never allowed myself to be that unleashed.”

What the fuck?

This is Lyria, Rowan’s former mate. She was a Fae who was pregnant with Rowan’s child when she was killed, meaning she and Rowan had sex. How has Rowan not been with an ‘equal’ before?? Did SJM forget her own character’s backstory?

There’s more unsexy foreplay and Aelin takes off Rowan’s pants.

Rowan had been bred and honed for battle, and every inch of him was pure-blooded warrior.

Oh my god, I cannot wait to see how SJM skirts around actually using the word dick/penis//whatever

Oh, gods. Oh, burning, rutting gods. Rowan knew what he was doing; he really gods-damned did.

Just... this whole chunk. This is epic fantasy. Also ‘gods-damned’ is a dumb word idc what y’all say

Rowan growled his approval, her breast still in his mouth

JESUS ROWAN ARE YOU TRYING TO RIP OFF HER TITTY

A phantom touch, like the northern wind given form, flicked over her bare breast. Aelin burst into flames.

what the fuck I am sh o cke d

Magic foreplay?? This is the level we’re at, folks. Fucking magic foreplay. The same wind magic Rowan used to kill witches he is now using to feel up Aelin’s boobs. Holy shit.

A roaring wind full of ice and snow blasted around them.

I have several questions.

Rowan’s smile was nothing short of wicked as he pulled away to run a broad hand from her throat down to the juncture of her thighs.

lmfao wtf. SJM wants to have graphic sex scenes in her YA series but won’t actually use the correct words for genitalia? Like christ are you sticking to YA rules or not???

So Rowan did, sliding a finger into her as his tongue flicked that one spot, and oh, gods, she was going to explode into starfire—

I don’t think starfire is an actual word. Also I hate these two.

When Rowan was seated deep in her, trembling with restraint as he let her adjust, she lifted her burning hands to his face, wind and ice tumbling and roaring around them, dancing across the waves with ribbons of flame.

HAHAHA I AM DYING HOW IS NOBODY NOTICING ALL THIS FIRE AND ICE AND SHIT JUST EXPLODING ON THE BEACH

Seriously what does the magic add to this scene?? it’s so fucking weird! How are they somehow fucking but also concentrating on doing all this magic??? Like what the actual fuck it just makes no sense

And as his thrusts turned deeper, she dug in her fingers, dragging her nails across his back, claiming him, marking him. His hips slammed home at the blood she drew

WHAT THE FUCK  WHY ARE YOU DRAWING BLOOD?!?! THAT ISNT SEXY THATS AELIN LITERALLY SLICING UP ROWANS BACK WITH HER NAILS WHAT IS HAPPENING

Rowan’s magic went wild, though his mouth on her neck was so careful, even as his canines dragged along her skin.

How is he careful but also dragging his teeth across her neck you can’t have both

Rowan’s own release barreled through him at the sight of it [Aelin climaxing], and he groaned her name so that she remembered it at last, lightning joining wind and ice over the water.

LIGHTNING

L I G H T N I N G

EPIC FANTASY SERIES COMPARED TO THE LIKES OF LOTR AND WE HAVE A MAIN CHARACTER’S CLIMAX SUMMONING LIGHTNING I WANT OFF THIS CRAZY RIDE

Already, she wanted more, already she was calculating how long she’d have to wait. “You once told me that you don’t bite the females of other males.” Rowan stiffened a bit. But she went on coyly, “Does that mean ... you’ll bite your own female, then?”

Aelin has a biting kink confirmed. Listen, I don’t care what kinks people have as long as it’s kept in the bedroom and everyone involved can and has consented, but this is just gross because I despise these two characters and don’t want any more paragraphs about Rowan biting Aelin please spare me

Understanding flashed in those green eyes as he raised his head from her neck to study the spot where those canines had once pierced her skin.

Are you bullshitting me. Are you actually fucking kidding me.

Rowan assaulted Aelin and bit her on the neck, causing her to bleed.. and this is portrayed as sexy? As a romantic moment between them?? What the actual fuck SJM!!! If a guy you were arguing with bit you, you’d knee him in the balls and call the police because he is assaulting you!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING HOW IS THIS IN A NOVEL IM DJHAFJKHDJKAFHJK

I’m done and I want this chapter to be over. tl;dr Aelin wants to bite Rowan and this makes him so horny they immediately have sex again.

They moved together, undulating like the sea before them, and when Rowan roared her name again into the star-flecked black, Aelin hoped the gods themselves heard it and knew their days were now numbered.

You’re fucking like animals in the middle of a beach where anyone could see you. Stop trying to make it all ~epic~ and ~most important relationship ever~ like god fucking damnit this Ratty/Aelin ship is literally my worst nightmare. Fuck this book.

[grimtaleslb]

it’s negative. long, pretty text heavy. dare i say pessimistic. stay safe ya’ll u_u

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it's like rationally speaking, I know my life would be better if I just worked harder and with a purpose!

something to motivate me ya know? I could even talk to people about it and stuff but I can always imagine it, they take time to talk to me and give me some tips on how to be better and I will always think of it

but the problem is I will think of it and not act at all. I will think and think and think so much, but not even in a crippling way I'll just be like "if I did my homework for class even if just a little bit I will pass just a little bit" and then as I think that I will just, not. do the work. my stuff is out I put away my phone I am sitting there it is me and the work but I will sit there for a good hour and then not have anything to show for sitting there.

I always thought I had a problem for procrastination but now I just don't know. because procrastination is assuming I at least push it off until last minute to get done, but I don't even get it done.

And then I have the nerve, the gull, the fucking audacity to show up to class the next day with nothing and think about how I have nothing,burning my insides with shame.

like I don't even really freak out anymore I just take it. I just

dig my grave and lay in it when it's not even really a grave yet. Just, lay on the wet earth.

I don't even have a direction in life, no goals no nothing and no will to work even though I know I'm probably gonna be stuck at this job I have now forever and I'll die inside or something.

The problem is also that I don't feel anything about it either.

Like you'd think a person who wants help with this stuff would go and look for help for this stuff right? cause they wanna be better or something.

at this point in not even sure if I want help because I don't actively look for it.

Things won't get better until I work for it but I don't wanna work, I don't wanna draw, I don't wanna read, I don't wanna play games anymore, I don't wanna do anything. Sleeping also isn't as appealing anymore either. I don't have any plans to meet with anyone, I don't go out unless it's for work and I sleep when I get home and I don't talk to anyone on my phone and I don't do anything.

Obviously I should invest in a social life of some kind. The problem is the amount of effort that goes into making and forging bonds. It's absolutely exhausting. And I cannot be bothered. I think. But that's also a mean way to put it. I would like to make friends and talk to them but I know I will not talk to them much and eventually drop them, and that's no way to treat people.

People should be treated better than that.

I don't remember what I really wanted to say and I don't think writing this out will help me feel or do better, but I don't wanna go to school and I don't wanna work tomorrow. I want to sleep but I would also like to do something. Anything.

#look i speak #negative #im at an impasse of knowing all the solutions to all my problems #but not doing a single damn thing #how pathetic is that #hopefully if i get the help i need i will not lie to them this time #and i will actually work to do better

--- --- ---

so i wrote this like, last year maybe? maybe longer since it talks about class so at least 3 years ago if not longer. i was (and kinda still am) very sad about. life. and also people. not to say people are mean to me or anything, i’ve meet some very nice and pleasant people! they are really nice to me. also i got a new job which is so faar 5x better than my last (but i guess not since im just used to picking up peoples shift and dealing with costumers)

so im kinda good for now in that sense but damn i wish i didnt have to work to live ya know?

but like, i guess its still a problem i have but my social-ness is still very much lacking. i forgot about this post but. im glad i found it still in my drafts you could say. i still agree with what i said back then how people shouldnt be treated like. that... in terms of friendship... but lately my sis has been having more internet friends and real life friends and thet hang out and play games and go places and it looks like a bunch of fun! 

but like with all relationships it isnt all fun and games and there will be problems from both sides (its a 2-way street after all) and i guess seeing that is like, scary? just hear me out real quick im trying to put words to my feelings then and now.

so. i was recently able to hang out with some ppl from school while gaming and like. we didnt have a plan or anything just hanging out. a completely normal thing to do between friends. i just, wanted to do something so i thought maybe it’d be cool if we faught a boss monster or dungeon or something and they said that was cool but we ended up just. not. doing that. just talking for the longest time. which is, again, a perfectly normal thing to do but i was just. i dont wanna be mean or anything but i was a little bored? i’ve mostly been playing solo and stuff so i was used to doing things at my pace, which is fight a bunch then afk but not much. talking;;;

we did get to play my boss fight! but it was hours later and heading into that 3am time and im. not as stong as i used to be with sleeping and stuff. so after one fight i left and felt a little bad. but i was very much tired. not to say that they’re not fun to hang out with but....yeah. and man i dont even talk to em on discord since they’ve already got their whole friend group situated and what not....

oh also also, my sis is also. well she’s not me really but growing up we’ve always been compaired, as siblings are, and for some reason, i dont know how, i subconsciously thought we where like, almost the same. (this is sarcasm.) but she like, is very social. not to be mean to my self, but like imagine your friends with a fellow loner and you find out they’re immensely popular sometime after. its like shocking but when you think about it your like ‘wait there where signs why am i so stupid.’ 

anyway, what im trying to say here is that unlike me she talks to people and actually works on maintaining bonds even tho we’re both at home lots. (well not anymore but;;; anyway!!!) bonds seem so stressful aaah;;;

i forgot what i was trying to say.....but uh..i think i’ll leave this up? i like. not to say anything bad will happen by me but i want to like. have my thoughts out there. kinda. even tho im scary and like, putting it under a read more. i dont have a vent blog!! well i do but thats for like the major bad and i try not to use it. but i have feelings and am attached to it and...i just. wanted to have something attached to my face, but my internet face. that make scholars go ‘ oh so this was what their thought process was like ‘ kinda. haaha;;; 

i’d like to end this on a positive note like those redemption stories of people getting better or whatever but like, i dont think i have? i am however funtional enough to be living which is pretty good if you ask me! and i am now feeling quesey from wrting this 2nd part and will play some games i am d bad at to not think about it.