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leafostuff · 2 years

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Our Little Secret (Ft. NiziU Miihi

note: so...i had a birthday like 4 days ago (im 18 so pog) and i decided to write This Miihi oneshot since she is one of my favorite Idols, i hope you all enjoy this

12 AM

First night of summer and god you are struggling to sleep, maybe it was still excitement from the fact that you finished school as a Senior, leaving you to only have the Adult life ahead of you, maybe its more Stress of not knowing what to do with your life but whatever it was it costed you some important sleep hours.

another look at your phone and the hour was 12:03 AM, “maybe a walk should be enough to calm my brain down” you thought to yourself as you jumped out of the window, the height wasn't too high, so no damages were done as you took your phone and wrote a message to your parents how you went to a walk, fortunately your parents gave you a thumbs up, and your walk has begun

10 minutes has passed, and your small adventure brought you to the park, as basically you were listening to music in your ear buds and checking up funny memes on Discord, few laughs and a comment later you take a look at the members list and notice someone specific who was online.

“quite unusual of her to be online this time” you thought as you opened a DM with her and write a Simple question, “Cant sleep?” you ask in the chat, a couple of seconds later she responds, “yeah” a simple response but an effective one, “Thought maybe i could take a walk in the park to calm my nerves” another message came in as you couldn't help yourself but smile lightly, as you just noticed what she was saying.

“Want to meet on the bridge?” another quick typing which resulted in a Quick thumbs up emoji, as you stood up from the bench you were sitting on and heading to the bridge, as you got there you were just leaning your back on the side of the bridge, as from the corner of your eye you notice her heading to you.

Miihi was one of your best friends ever since the two of you were very young, not 5 years old like all the movies talk about, but like since age 10, so now as the both of you finished school forever, you knew each other for 8 years which included many smiles since just seeing her could turn your day upside down, and in the end the two of you kinda grew to a friend group which included some of her friends and yours, making a amazing friend group. as she was standing in front of you she was wearing a White T-shirt, followed with a black sweatshirt and and fairly basic pants, nothing too fancy for a midnight walk.

"So….first day of summer, huh? we finally got to it” You ask as Miihi shows her smile and joins you on the bridge, leaning on the side and watching the stars together with you.

“Yeah, finally is school is over, and we could do whatever we want now” She added, “do you have plans for the summer? or you're just going to laze around and do nothing like me?” she asked as in response you just shrugged, since even you don't know what are your plans for the summer.

“To be honest, i thought about maybe Trying to get a job for the summer, before i get to college, what about you? i guess that a scholarship so you dont really need to work that much to pay for it” You knew how smart Miihi was, topping your class and is considered one of the smartest students in the school.

“Oh…So we won’t have much time to hang out don't we?” her smile changed slowly into a frown as she looked down, it was true that you will not hang out as much anymore, yes there will be your almost daily discord chats, but its not the same as meeting in person.

Suddenly, she showed a little smile and held your hand “Follow me” she started running, getting you to follow her quickly with a run from your own, “If this is the one of the last times we will meet like this….it means we should make it the best night ever” She said as her comment made you smile brightly, it was so good to hear how important your friendship was to her.

10 minutes of running later the two end up at her Mansion, Miihi was the daughter of one of the richest families in the town, so mansion to live in is something not surprising.

However instead of going to the house directly, Miihi instead turned right, walking toward her Family Pool, the both of you stopped in front of the Pool house as she left your hand. "I'm going to switch up for a swimsuit, don't you dare peek" she said as she gave you a Wink as she closed the sliding door and the curtain as well

"What about me?" You ask, realizing you didn't expect to come with a Swim shorts of your own.

"Get on with your pants or something" She spoke through the sliding door as you took your shirt off, and left it near the the pool, you were always less comfortable showing your body and would get Insecure going to a pool together with your friends, but it couldn't be that bad, it was your friend Miihi, what was the worst that can hap-.

“I'm ready” Miihi said, as she got out of the pool house, wearing a Pink swimsuit, as you could feel your face getting hotter by the second, and unfortunately she got notice of it fast “OOO…someone is blushing, its Just me” she added as she giggled and leaned closer. after Miihi opened the Pool which took a couple of minutes she smiled at you cutely, you return the smile when suddenly…

*Splash*

You find yourself in the pool, as you look up you see a Laughing Miihi in front of you as she sat on the edge of the pool “come on, you know it was worth it dont you?” she asked as you just rolled her eyes “ok, just sit with me” she added as she gave you her hand to get up however…

*Splash*

“ha….HAHAHAHAH” she started laughing as you couldnt help but join her as the two of you just started goofing around in the water, from swimming quietly to Splash fights the two of you really had one of the best nights that could ever be, the hour was around 1:30 AM as another splash fight was going as in the end you cornered Miihi to one of the corners as the two of you started laughing as the stopping gotten quieter and the two of you were gazing at each other’s eyes as one thing was on your and probably Miihi’s mind

“so….close” your thoughts clouded your senses as the Both of you lean your faces closer to each other…and closer…and closer as finally the both of you kiss, Lips were awfully sweet even more than you expected as you could feel her hands get slowly around your back and yours go to her waist, even while both of your eyes closed you can feel the movement of you sitting on the edge of the pool with Miihi on your lap.

Miihi was your star, there was no way to deny it, from her long and smooth hair that you could feel touching your skin, her hands that were softer then the most fluffies wool a sheep could ever produce were now on your chest, feeling how loud your hearts knocks and how her large yet adorable brown eyes that made every wish by her a command were now starting to tear up slowly as the both of you moved away from the kiss, you could swear you seen her eyes sparkle from the tears, smiling from side to side Miihi just leans her forehead close enough to touch yours, as you smile lightly and mirror her, almost as the both of you were telepathizing your feelings as no words were needed between the two of you.

“Woah” you just said, shocked from your intimate connection the two of you just had as Miihi just giggled in response

“Yeah….indeed woah” she said as your hands without any thought just went to her hair, twirling it around your finger and pushing some of them to the side, to see her true beauty. “i…want you to stay with me the night….together” she simply said as all you could was just nod and hug her tight.

~-~

2:30 AM

First night of summer, 2 Showers, and a movie later the both of you are laying on the sofa since there wasn't any mattress, so you had to resort to Miihi using you as her mattress while you could only have the sofa, the lights were closed as the both of you were just whispering to each other lightly.

“so? what i am drawing on your skin?” even while the both of you were falling asleep you still tried to talk as much as possible, your finger was on her back drawing some shapes.

“It's a heart isn't it?” she asked quietly as you just shook your head.

“No, it's a bunny, see? i did the ears” you replied as you traced the the motion of the ears, “And now i did the face” you added another motion as you could feel her humming feel like music to your ears “and i added a nose” as you teasingly tapped your nose as she just giggled.

“god whatever…you know…i think this going to be *Yawn* the best summer we will ever have” she said as she closed her eyes, her smile still felt through her aura as she just started fall asleep, as you couldnt help but smile at her cuteness.

“uh…yeah, you are right…the best summer ever” you said as suddenly your face started to frown as you opened up your phone to look at your mails, and one that you kept for a long time was still sitting there “You have been chosen to work Under Starship Ent, the flight to Korea will be at the 1st of July 2022” the Message said as you just looked at the message, not knowing how will you have the bravery to tell this to her.

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Thanks for Reading and i will see you all Next update

#miihi #niziu #NiziU fanfic #Fluff #Kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop fancam #kpop fanart

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heyitsyn · 4 years

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Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. ∞

a/n: this made me tear up a bit ngl bc haikyuu always hitting us with ‘theres no next year for us’ typa bull like BLS TAKE PITY ON MY SOUL AND STOP TIME AND KEEP MY BOYS TOGETHER :(((((((

it has an infinity symbol bc this is in the future so there isnt really an episode number

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

the third years coming back to seijoh the following year for a surprise visit, and watching over practice cuz they were in town for break. being impressed on how kyo has calmed down (a bit), kunimi actually giving a sh-, yknow the deal. just the growth of their kouhai makes them 🥺🥺 but THEN- Y O U walk in with the team’s bottles n the small gasp that comes out of your mouth when you see them. they GAWK cuz you’re maturing SO well (stfu oikawa- my eyes up are here) and just 🥺🤲

SO LIKE UNLESS YOURE NEW TO MY BLOG YOU KNOW THIS FINNA BE A SAD ONE BC SEIJOH THIRD YEARS ARE MY FAVORITE BOIS AND THEM GRADUATING MAKES ME :(

oh god here comes the tears

it was something you knew was coming since yanno, third years and all that

but you were so sure you had more time left before it happened

didnt you just join the team and met them like yesterday?

nope love you met nearly a year ago

and they made quite an impact on you in the short term you were together

so during the day of graduation

it wasnt really a school day since it was mostly for third years and the whole ceremony but kouhais could come so they could send off their senpais

you already called each third year the night before, nearly 2 hours per boy, to talk to them and cry with them so you didnt have to cry during the day

but ofc

you were sobbing already when you saw your captain walk up and get his tube with the diploma inside

they tried to remain strong as they sat in their seats but a single glance at you and the team at the stands above, the tears were already either forming or full out slipping

i know yall finna beat me up for this but im not really familiar with the other third years in the team bc theyre not really shown in the anime or manga that much so i dont have a good grip on their character so can we pls pretend theyre not in here?? omg pls dont kill me though

the ceremony felt like a long time for the seniors but when it was finally over, they ran out of that building and yall did too and you bolted yourself into the arms of your captain

oikawa held you tightly against him and he didnt care about being seen by his fangirls, who were waiting outside for him, or the others who wanted to have you to them too

‘i love you, y/n-chan’

he mumbled and you nodded

‘mhm. i love you too, oikawa-san. i love all my boys’

YALL MY HEART IS BREAKING BC OIKAWA ACTUALLY MEANT IT THIS TIME AND YOURE STILL OVER HERE THINKING THAT HES JUST SAYING IT AS A FRIEND LIKE IM-

iwa ripped you away from him and your face was buried into his chest

but it didnt last long since the others got a little impatient and just joined the hug turning it into a group hug

‘i dont want you to leave!’

kindaichi sobbed and kunimi sniffled, holding on tighter to the backs of his senpais

even kyo was sad but hes a tuff boy so he easily hid that behind his usual frown and glare

after seeing their parents and reassuring them they would be home soon, you started your trek towards your usual hang out spot

the second and first years were walking ahead of you while the third years fell back in step with you in between them

mattsuhana flanked your left while iwaoi were at your right

the tears were now gone but sniffles still filled the area and everyone was still down in their spirits

you held tightly to the warm big hands of iwaizumi and the soft touch of mattsun’s hand as if you were clutching your life-line

but you knew no matter how tightly you held on to them, they would still go and eventually leave you behind

the ramen shop was filled with another round of tears as everyone realized that this would be the last time seijoh og would have ramen here

‘WE DONT WANT YOU TO GOOO~~~~!!!!!!’

kindaichi sobbed while kunimi aggressively shoved noodles in his mouth to hide his hiccups

you refused to eat because you were so sad that you were scared you might end up throwing it all up later so you settled on relishing your time with the boys

oikawa was busy talking to yahaba and telling him tips and tricks for next year while iwaizumi was consolling the others who were crying

that left you to harshly wipe off the tears and focus on the jokes that matsuhana were telling to help and lighten up the mood

‘think of it like this! you won’t have oikawa and iwaizumi fighting anymore!’

well,,,,,

that kinda made things worse

geez makki stfu!!!!

you bursted into full tears and you sobbed, loudly and freely

‘WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!’

you wheezed and then continued to cry

everyone flinched and got startled at the sight of you crying

theyve seen you cry before but not this intensely and sadly

‘DONT GO!!! OU-OUR FAMILY’S GONE!! ITS B-BROKEN NOW!!!!’

you wailed

everyone is so used to seijoh antics that they didnt even bat an eyelash when everyone started crying

‘damn it, i was trying not to cry!’

iwa growled and buried his face into his hands to hide the pain in his eyes

‘come here, y/n-chan’

mattsun cooed while sobbing and you went straight into his arms and his arms tightly wounded around you

he pressed kisses on your neck to calm you and he whispered promises to keep you from thinking that you would be alone

the boys were all still crying even when you paid for them and at the exit, everyone wouldnt let go of each other

ngl it was a weird sight of seeing these boys just hanging on and hugging the others and you were tightly pressed against makki’s chest

‘dont cry, y/n-chan. we’ll be here, always. just a 4-hour ride to tokyo’

he promised but you shook your head

‘--too far’

you mumbled and he was able to make out a few words and he laughed

‘i swear you’ll see us in a few hours’

it took a few words of assurance from makki and eventually mattsun and iwa joined

oikawa stayed back because he already wanted to walk you home and iwa knew you were the one that was the hardest for oikawa to tell his plans to

waving them good bye, you fussed and made sure everyone was not crying anymore

‘you text me the moment you get home, all right? and kyo-san, let the food in your stomach settle before-’

‘before i take a bath-yea i know’

he rolled his eyes but he smiled lightly before hugging you

‘go home now, y/n’

he pushed you towards his captain but you pulled away one last time to give each boy a kiss on the cheek

their lips trembled, especially the third years, and wanted to keep their tears in but they rocket launched to space

yanno that one part in season 1 when kiyoko told them to work hard and then they just snot-rocketed and cried

oikawa interlaced your fingers as you both walked towards your house and it was quiet

you were sus bc it was too quiet and oikawa would usually be either skipping, humming a tune, or just yapping his ass off

but right now

he was quiet, slouchy, and,,,, not oikawa

you looked up to see his face and you knew it wasnt just the graduating part

it was like,,,, he was nervous

you squeezed his hand and that got his attention

‘oikawa-san, whats wrong?’

he suddenly stopped and your linked hands caused you to also stop so you watched him stare down at his shoes and you blinked at him in confusion

‘oika-’

‘y/n, tell me to stay’

he,,, sounded like he was begging

pleading

desperate to hear you say it

‘why should i?’

you asked and he finally lifted his eyes to stare into your eyes

he gulped before further explaining himself

‘coach got me a volleyball scholarship’

he whispered and your eyes widened before you launched into him for a hug and pulled back to cup his face

‘oh my god! tooru! a scholarship?! im so proud-’

‘in argentina’

he finished and your eyes dimmed, the lifted corners of your lips falling into a frown

‘o-oh’

you stuttered and pulled your hands away but he grabbed them, placing them back to his face

‘but if you dont want me to go, i wont-’

‘NO! what?! tooru, its your dream! you and iwa-san wouldnt stop talking about that match with argentina and-and you want to go there! dont you dare let that slip away!’

you scolded frantically however oikawa’s face scrunched before he started crying

‘i-i can’t! y/n, i’ll be alone! its so far away! far from iwa, far from you-’

then you reached to your tippy toes and kissed his nose then leaned back with a big smile

‘no matter how far, ill always be right here. im always going to be here, waiting for you’

you mumbled and oikawa hiccuped then leaned his forehead against yours, eyes clashing that was so full of love and fear

‘then dont you worry, y/n-chan. oikawa-senpai will work really hard and he will come back and make you happy’

he whispered and you pulled him even closer to give him the biggest hug

‘im looking forward to it’

TIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIP

ONEYEARONEYEARONEYEARONEYEAR

truth to be told with guilty conscience, the third years havent really been in touch

yes theyve called and messaged but there wasnt a normal kind of communication, especially with oikawa

but they decided to go over there during a simultaneous week break for universities in tokyo and iwa, makki, and mattsun pressured oikawa to fly back to japan just for a week to visit

‘iwa-chan im so broke righ-’

‘fine, we’ll see y/n ourselve-’

‘OKAY FINE! HERE! IM BUYING THE TICKET NOW SEE?!’

bahahaha im sorry i love oiks so much its not even funny

they agreed to not tell anyone, even coach, to surprise you all and to see your faces of surprise bc mattsuhana are little shites and they love to mess around

it was a normal day during practice

yahaba was teaching some first years how to serve while watari was giving exercising tips on how to bend their knees without shrieking in athritis

kyotani was doing jump serves while kindaichi and kunimi tried to block him

it was a normal day

the former third years knew the ins and outs of the place and oikawa still had his keys of the gym since he never gave it back so they were easily able to sneak in

they sat on the bleachers and observed everyones growth which really blew them away and took them aback by how much they improved in little time

like kunimis actually huffing and throwing a mini tantrum bc hes so into it and hes mad he didnt get that block right

they also noticed the larger amount of new recruits and based on their practice, it looks like they would be in good hands for the next few years

however, the true shock settled in when this happened

kyotani cursed loudly when the ball hit out but yahaba scolded him for saying a bad word in front of the first years

‘kyotani, dont say that anymore! its not good to teach the babies bad words!’

he ranted and the college boys shared a look of caution and fear, bracing themselves for kyotani’s normal screaming and tantrum for being called out

but they were the most surprised when the bleach-haired boy simply glared at him and turned away to go pick up another ball to hit

‘did,,,, did kyoken-chan-’

‘was he just calm right now?’

‘oh my god iwa-chan kyoken-chan got abducted by aliens!’

I SWEAR TO GOD ITS LIKE THE CURRENT THIRD AND SECOND YEARS GOT AN OIKAWA ‘IWA-CHAN’ SENSOR BECAUSE THE MOMENT HE SAID THAT, THEIR EARS TWITCHED AND THEY JUST KNEW

THEIR SENPAIS WERE HERE

their eyes were wide and their attention snapped towards the bleachers where indeed, their 4 fathers sat

‘OIKAWA-SAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

kindaichi screamed and he NYOOMED towards the stairs but kunimi grabbed him by the collar

‘come down here, senpais!’

yahaba urged and coach and naoi shared a look of initial shock but then transformed into happiness

it was nice to see the family together again

they quickly turned into a dog pile with the hugs that were given around like kyotani actually giving iwaizumi a hug and makki and mattsun affectionately ruffling everyone’s hair

the other first years were just staring in awe at the legendary third years of seijoh that theyve heard so much about

‘everyone, these are your seniors!’

yahaba presented and the 3 third years became very flustered but ofc attention whore oikawa soaked it up

‘yes, hello, my little disciples! you are my legacy so work har- IWA-CHAN!’

he was cut into his famous line when his best friend bonked him for being too self-absorbed again

‘waaa, l/n-senpai was right’

some first year mumbled at the scene and their ears perked up at the name

‘l/n?’

‘where is she?! y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted and looked around

BECAUSE OF FATE

YOU AUTOMATICALLY MANIFESTED THERE

‘YES YOU CALLED’

okay no but you actually walked in just in time, carrying the crate of water bottles, focused on not dropping them so you didnt really see the others

they were silent not because they wanted to mess with you and see how long youd figure out that they were there

they were silent because of how BEAUTIFUL you became

you gained a few inches and your hair is now longer with your baby fat slowly melting away and you were also finally showing your growth with your body

the eyes that used to gleam with childish innocence was now mature and poised like a perfect lady

even the way you walked with a crate made it seem like a ballet performance with the grace at every step and the flowery aura you exuded

you have turned from a ridiculously cute and pretty girl to a beautiful goddess

AND YOU WERE ONLY IN YOUR SECOND YEAR HOW THE HELL ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO HANDLE IT WHEN YOURE FINALLY A THIRD YEAR?!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF BOYS THEY HAVE TO WARD OFF?!

‘my god’

iwaizumi mumbled, flushing red and turning away to hide his fluster

‘beautiful’

oikawa whispered and he gulped, not remembering how strikingly attractive you are

‘have mercy’

makki whined softly, clutching his heart as it started beating fast and made his stomach feel all funny

did they act like this back in the day?

mattsun doesnt have control so he ran forward and you were just putting the crate down when you were lifted off of the floor and twirled around

so like yahaba waved off the others to go back to practice so its like not awkward to be standing around and see this happening

there was only one person who did this to you

‘mattsun-san?!’

you shrieked and you giggled happily as he put you down so you were able to hug him properly and eventually, catching sight on the others behind him

your gasp made them smile widely and you pressed a hand to your mouth to hide the shock and your overjoyed laugh

if they could take a picture of this and remember the amount of love your eyes held and the pure unfiltered happiness that swirled in those orbs

it was like they felt themselves falling in love with you all over again

‘oh my god everyone’s here too!’

you ran to them and jumped at the awaiting arms of iwaizumi and he was still the bara arm babie you remembered

‘i missed you, doll’

he whispered

‘hmmm,,,i missed you more’

he let you go and you skipped over to makki who engulfed you in his arms and you felt his soft brown hair because you remembered he loved it when you ran your fingers through his hair

‘youve grown! so much! you got even more beautiful!’

he exclaimed and you giggled, bashful at his compliment

‘hmm~, no i didnt’

he gave you a deadpan look and you chuckled before scurrying away towards the one you wanted to hug the most

he definitely got more toned and he got taller too

you didnt have any time to react since he grabbed you and squished you against him

‘youre here, oikawa-san’

he nuzzled his head against your neck

‘mhm, im here now, y/n-chan’

he placed a kiss on your nose and you scrunched your face but there was a big smile that was clear

then oikawa’s eyes trailed from your face to your,,, ahem,,, girls

‘jesus, y/n-chan really grew, huh’

he complimented and you blinked confusingly before trailing after his eye’s gaze and it landed on your chest and you punched him

‘urusai, oikawa-san! my eyes are up here! youre so perverted. pervert oikawa-san’

you pouted and moved to seek comfort in the arms of makki

‘hmm, oikawa’s perverted as usual. i think it got worse with all those argentinian women’

makki teased and mattsun joined to poke fun at their captain

oikawa whined and told iwa they were making fun of him to which his own best friend betrayed him and starting teasing him too

you simply watched on and your eyes watered, your sniffles catching their attention

‘eh? why are you crying, y/n-chan?’

oikawa asked while approaching you to wipe your tears with his thumbs

but you shook your head with a teary smile

‘n-nothing-just,,,, i missed you guys. an-and im so happy because its like our f-family’s back together and i just-i-’

you cried but it was out of happiness and their hearts warmed

ofc they felt guilty because they were aware that they werent as in touch as they shouldve been so you probably felt lonely and casted aside without any contact from your boys

but they know now to make sure you feel loved and cared for because as you keep saying, they were your boys

they were a family

seijoh is a family

and you love them

but they love you more

a/n: okay im sorry this is probably trash and all over the place and im crying and stressing but ive been writing in between my college alg homework and its been so hard like WHY IS NUMBERS SO HARD LIKE WHAT-?! but this has kinda been the baby of my break time and relaxing few minutes bc i procrastinate too much and i want to do something i like before i actually go insane and i promise PROMISE that once everything is cleared up i will edit this and im already working on the other requests so expect a few to be out by the end of the week or something like that!!

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preciousmomentsfigurine · 3 years

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im back on here at least for right now, i keep cluttering my other socials with my diatribes and anxieties and i just need to get my thoughts out without being performative about it... i dont even know if anyones left on here who i was in communication with but anywho... im finishing up my first semester of my masters and ive been hit with some pretty substantial depression this week, kind of a culmination of all of the stress i have endured over the past few months.

my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in september. it was easily the worst news of my entire life, my mom and i are exceptionally close, im an only child and my relationship(s) with my parents is at the center of my universe. all that aside it’s just bad news obviously, but i guess i can say i “get” cancer now. they caught it early and it ultimately proved to be pretty treatable, she got surgery and did five days of radiation (which she completed last week) and now she’s more or less in the clear though she won’t be “cancer free” until five years pass without it reemerging.

that being said... this all happened in the first few weeks of grad school and im already holding on for dear life trying to adjust to the immense amount of responsibility i now have. im a teaching assistant, which is my source of income as well as the condition my full scholarship for school is contingent on, i was quickly nominated to serve on a graduate committee for my department (which is basically like a student council), i received another nomination for a scholarship thru an affiliated national scholarly collective, and i am being pushed incredibly hard by faculty towards a phd which entails a whole other laundry list of engagements to bolster my cv (e.g. speaking at conferences, submitting work to journals, moderating seminars/panels, etc.), working on my graduate teaching certificate, and then of course the mountain of course work...

so, suffice to say, i had zero time to even fully process the trauma and grief associated with my mom getting cancer, and there being a period of time where i literally had no idea if she would live or die and having to grapple with mortality, consciously or not. self care has been... an afterthought... i hardly have time to sleep, eat, and shower, let alone to cry or even honor an emotion for long enough to pacify myself. i’ve taken to detachment, or rather dissociation, to survive. that’s not entirely new, but i’ve never been this “good” at it, and it’s quite frightening. like i said, all this is catching up to me now, when it’s most important i’m on the ball as i tie up the loose ends of my semester.

basically, the lesson i can’t for the life of me figure out how to learn - one i’ve been attempting to work on basically my entire life - is finding a middle ground between absolutely fucking drowning in the extremes of my emotions, and completely cutting them off and losing myself down the line. i seriously never cry anymore. that’s something i never ever expected from myself. i’ve cried maybe three times in the past six months. maybe even this whole year? i’m so scared of my feelings, they’re nearly killed me countless times in the past, so i just decided i’d no longer have any. we all know that doesn’t really work for very long. my bipolar has taken me for a fucking joyride the past three months alone, and the crash was imminent. now i’m just empty and disenchanted with existing.

i’ve learned a lot this year, though. i’m still a basketcase and always will be, but this is the most stable i have been since like, childhood. i worked hard as fuck this year to pick up the pieces of my life. i’m at a place i literally never thought i’d arrive at, starting my career (that word still terrifies me), taking accountability for my well-being, feeling a sense of acceptance and compassion for myself that i always lacked, surrounded by tons of friends, and somehow, successful. i’m working on not letting the validation i have received since starting the whole grad school process totally petrify me - it feels good to finally be seen and recognized for the parts of me that were always dismissed, what’s “inside” as corny as it sounds, my intellect, my thoughts and opinions, my talents, my passion and tenacity and curiosity. on the flipside, it’s utterly rocked my world to learn that i possess these things, and that they’re valuable. i’m so used to depending on superficial validation at best, and being completely demoralized and abused at worst - my whole life i’ve been convinced by others, and then myself, that i was worthless and bound to fail. to have people i deeply admire and respect tell me i am intelligent and gifted, is fucking weird and uncomfortable, as much as it is liberating.

i guess this has turned into rambling, as i was initially gonna just talk about my day and how i’m feeling right now, but i guess i had more to say than i thought. i’m depressed, but i’ve really grown up and found myself this year, and i’m proud of the things i’ve done even just today to pick myself back up. i just met with my professor for a class i’ve been anxious about. the old me would have avoided this and buried my head in the sand. the new me pushed myself to face discomfort and feels a little bit stronger and lighter having done so.

now i’m gonna write this paper. wish me luck, ttyl xx

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gracelessfighters · 4 years

Text

almost

JJ Maybank x female reader

Masterlist

Summary: a recollection of all the moments you and jj ‘almost’ shared

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: pretty angsty, mentions of weed at the beginning, highkey bad writing but we move on

A/N: I dont actually know if something similar to this has been done before (if so sorry im not copying you) but this is a little different to how i normally write so i hope you like it and as always feedback would be great 💗

(look at the jawline deaR GOD)

Knowing JJ for most of your life had its ups and downs - on one hand he was always there to cheer you up with his jokes, because that’s what friends do, on the other hand you didn’t see him as a friend you saw him as much more and you could never say anything as you thought he didn’t feel the same way.

You didn’t know when your feelings for him changed, but you had a feeling they were always kind of there from the moment you met the scruffy blond boy who offered to help you when you fell off your bike on the way to school one day.

———

“What do you think your future will be like?” JJ asked, handing you the blunt you were sharing.

You were both lying down on the hammock outside the chateau, shoulders pressed together, if you both turned towards each other at the same time your faces would be practically touching.

You took a hit from the blunt, blowing out a cloud of smoke, “I’m not sure - I think I want to get off this island, go somewhere new where people don’t know me.”

“What about me?”

“What about you?” You asked, turning to look at his face, his eyebrows scrunched together whilst he looked at the night sky.

“Am I not gonna be in your life anymore if you move?”

“Of course you will bub, you’re coming with me.” You laughed, nudging his shoulder with yours.

It was his turn to look at you now, your eyes focused on the stars above you, a small smile on your lips, “I like that idea - we could go to Yucatan, live off what we catch and surf all day.”

“Sounds great, and I can speak Spanish pretty well so we’d be sorted.”

He chuckled, “That’s our plan now then - we escape this place together.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, did he know that was exactly what you wanted? To escape this place with him at your side, maybe even telling how you feel after all this time.

You turned to look at him, your faces almost touching, you looked between his eyes and his cracked lips, and just as you leant in to meet his lips with yours, John B called out, “We’ve got a movie set up, you guys coming?”

You quickly moved away from JJ, jumping out of the hammock and heading up to where John B was standing at the door - your heart beating and hands shaking at what nearly happened.

That was the night that you almost kissed JJ.

———

The boneyard was full of people tonight, it was one of the biggest keggers of the year - all the schools broken up for summer and the heaviest part of tourist season. JJ had always loved kegs - the alcohol, the weed, the girls he didn’t have to commit to because they were only visiting tourons. It was everything he ever wanted, and yet tonight he didn’t want any of it.

He had seen you chatting to a touron boy earlier, a blush spread across your cheeks as you laughed at one of his jokes. At this sight, JJ’s heart sunk - he liked being the one to make you laugh with his jokes, but that seemed to be happening less and less recently, as you spent less time with him. Was it something he did?

He didn’t spend much time pondering over this though because he saw you break away from the touron and head over to the keg that John B was manning, and JJ followed, wanting a drink and to talk to you.

John B nodded at JJ in greeting when he arrived at the keg, you turned around and smiled up at him, “Hey J, no girl on your arm yet?”

He looked down at the sand beneath his feet, “Nope not tonight Y/N.”

You ducked into sight of his face, stumbling a little due to the alcohol you’d been drinking, “Why not?”

He cleared his throat, “I don’t like the look of any of them, that good enough for your interrogation?”

You laughed, “It’ll have to do, but one day you will reveal all your secrets to me.”

He grinned, “You already know all of them, except of course, what happened to fluffles.”

You gasped, playfully hitting his arm, “You said you didn’t know anything about my little bear!”

“It must’ve slipped my mind, oops.”

You downed the remainder of the alcohol in your cup and then grabbed his hand, leading him away from the keg, “Oh god, are you going to murder me now Y/N?”

“Nope that’s for another day, we’re going to dance.”

“I think that’s actually worse.” He joked, earning a small glare from you.

“Too bad - now dance pretty boy.”

JJ couldn’t help but smile as he danced with you, trying to keep up with your very drunk dance moves was almost impossible but he tried anyway, spinning you whenever you grabbed his hands and insisted.

You eventually tired and moved into his hold where he wrapped his hands around your waist, the smell of your sweet perfume moving into his nose as you rested your head on his chest.

The two of you stayed like that for a little while, swaying to the beat of the song, enjoying the embrace of the other.

“Hey J,” you looked up at him, “I will find out what happened to fluffles.”

He laughed, shaking his head at you, and when he looked down at your face, a mischievous smile on your lips, he instinctively leant forward.

Before he didn’t want to do anything he would regret, so he changed direction and instead whispered in your ear, “No you won’t.”

That was the night JJ almost kissed you.

———

Everything recently had gone to shit. It wasn’t all bad but that was the best way you could describe it. You still had feelings for JJ, but it was more apparent than ever you couldn’t act on them.

You had applied to a college in New York on a whim, not even thinking you could get a place, but you had been wrong. The letter in your hands, not only confirmed you got a place, but that you were being offered a scholarship as well - something that you really needed as your family couldn’t afford sending you to college.

When you told the group about the offer they were all beyond happy for you, each of them showing their own little ways of congratulations. Kiara and John B both promised to come and visit you, Pope already planning how you could meet up whilst you were both away, but JJ just hugged you tightly, telling you he was proud of you before going back to fiddling with his lighter.

After that day, you saw JJ less and less - you were often busy packing for the ever approaching day where you would leave, but when you did spend time with your friends he wasn’t always there. Sometimes he was with a girl he’d met the night before, sometimes doing work or sometimes just not giving an excuse and just disappearing - what was obvious was he was distancing himself from you.

It broke your heart that you couldn’t spend your last month or two with him before you left, ignoring the romantic feelings you had for him he was your closest friend and so you would really miss him no matter what.

It was the day before you were going to leave and you were spending the day with the pogues, including JJ for once, at the chateau, sitting around the fire and drinking together, the last time you would do this for a while. It was bittersweet, you loved your friends more than anything but you wanted to experience new things in life - and college offered this.

“I’ll miss you all so much,” you said, looking at the faces in front of you.

“We will too,” John B replied, hugging you as the others all agreed and joined in the hug.

“Okay, you can hug me more later but right now I can’t breathe and I want some water.”

They all removed themselves from the hug, turning into their own conversations as you made your way towards the chateau.

You didn’t want to cry in front of any of them, but you allowed a few tears to fall down your cheek as you stood at the kitchen sink, back to the door, not even noticing JJ standing there, looking at you with concern.

“Are you okay?” He asked, you jumped, wiping your face before you turned to him with a smile.

“Of course I am, just a little sad that I’m leaving.”

“I’m sorry.”

You stepped towards him, “What for?”

“I’ve been avoiding you since you said you were leaving and I shouldn’t have as we won’t see each other much anymore and-“

“JJ it’s fine don’t worry,” you reached out your hand for his, “and I’m sorry too, I know I said we could move away together, but plans changed and I really wish you were coming with me.”

“Hey,” JJ moved his thumb over your cheek, wiping the tear that had began falling away, “there’s always the chance to leave together after you’re done with college, I know I’ll be waiting.”

You looked up at him, the words you wanted to say at the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say them, so instead you said, “I’ll really miss you J.”

He sighed before pulling you into a hug, “I’ll really miss you too Y/N.”

Neither of you moved for minutes, staying in each others warmth, both of you unable to say the correct words to each other.

That was the day you almost told JJ you loved him.

That was the day JJ almost told you he loved you.

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #outerbanks #outer banks #outerbanks fic #obx #obx fic #outer banks imagine #outer banks fanfiction #pope heyward #kiara carrera #john b x reader #outrebanx #rafe cameron x reader #rudy pankow

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lueurdelune · 4 years

Text

I’m gonna vent anyway even tho nobody here gives a fuck I’ve had this blog for 5 years and I only have 200 followers and I have made no friends

If whoever created me on this planet was going to give me severe depression and anxiety with a big dash of undiagnosed adhd for 16 years of my life couldn’t they have ATLEAST born me into a financially stable home like honestly that would be so beneficial

I have no motivation to do anything ever for anybody including myself I literally failed my last semester of school. I’ve never done that before and I’m so scared I’m not gonna get into college and I’m never getting any scholarships and I don’t know if my parents can even afford college I’m basically poor but not really I just mean that everybody else around me has so much more money than I do and I feel so shitty all the time I can’t take care of myself I’ve gained so much weight since developing depression over the last 3 years and everybody makes me feel like shit about it but I’m too poor to do anything about either like how the fuck did I go from a size 00 to an 8 I fucking hate myself over it but especially because of how I’ve let others influence how I feel about myself I have literally starved myself for so long AND EVEN THAT DIDNT WORK WHAT THE FUCK??? Anyways like,,, THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A SIZE 8!!!!! But I’m severely short I’m literally 4’10 and all my life I was a naturally thin person like you know how there’s some people that just ARE thin yeah that was me AND NOW IM NOT BECAUSE IVE SPENT YEARS CRYING IN BED WATCHING TV SHOWS I have no motivation to get up out of bed and it’s been a problem for years but especially now with quarantine it’s so much worse. I have no joy in literally anything. AND I CANT EVEN DO ANYTHING ABOUT ALL OF MY WEIGHT GAIN BECAUSE IM SO DEPRESSED I DONT EVEN HAVE THE WILL TO LIVE ANYMORE I WISH EVERYTHING WOULD STOP AND PAUSE AND THAT THE NUMBERS ON THE SCALE WOULD STOP GOING UP AND MY TEACHERS WOULD STOP ASSIGNING ASSIGNMENTS AND THAT I WOULD STOP LOSING FRIENDS AND THAT I WOULDNT EVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY EVER AGAIN.

And I can’t even get myself out of my financial situation literally ever because I fucking hate school so much I used to be so good at it but the thought of writing one more essay could really be the thing that drives me off the edge and this screwed up system is rigged so the only way to confirm good and true success is through college degrees and I am just now getting treatment for adhd that I’ve had all my life but was too poor to get diagnosed with and that’s been a huge disadvantage to my academic life like insanely and since I’m now horrible in school I won’t go to college and since I won’t go to college I’ll live my life being dirt poor as always and whoever said money can’t buy happiness is a fucking ugly ass liar if I had money I would still be good at school because I would’ve gotten treatment for adhd way long ago which means my depression and anxiety wouldn’t have gotten as bad as they are which means I wouldn’t have gained as much weight as I have which means I wouldn’t be as insecure as I am to the point I literally want to die. Money could’ve made this all avoidable.

I’m having such a pity party for myself right now. Everything that could be wrong in my life currently is except I’m not homeless but I’ve been living in a tiny ass apartment my whole life. Also my family isn’t physically abusive but I’m their mental punching bag which is so hard to accept because I love them so much.

And I’m putting tags on this just because I at least want somebody in this universe somewhere to hear me, to see me, to let me know I’m not as invisible as I constantly feel.

Also if there’s any teens out there who want to be friends 🤪😎😏 slide in my chats I swear I’m funny and pretty (debateable) what other qualities would you want?

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akechicrimes · 4 years

Note

Prompt 37? Futaba and Akechi platonic/Futago siblings?

37. “Follow me. It’s okay, just hold my hand.”

after akira leaves tokyo, futaba does just fine without her key item, except for when she doesnt.

(one of them AUs were goro survives the engine room and rejoins the phantom thieves. no i will not explain. persona 5 canon AND persona 5 royal do not interact. for reference in this universe futaba and akechi are half siblings but only akechi knows that)

“Next time you see me, I’ll be a whole new person,” Futaba tells Akira excitedly on his second-to-last day in Tokyo. “I’m going back to school, I’m out and about by myself—oh! Oh! Did I tell you I said yes to Kosei? I told Kosei I wanted to go to Shujin and they offered me scholarship! And I went to the subway station by myself yesterday!”

They’re crammed into Akira’s Leblanc attic, sitting around a cake that literally none of them were capable of baking themselves, so they’d bought the thing from a bakery and decorated it with little black and red hearts. Ryuji is passing around his gross soda, while Ann is recounting some story that doesn’t matter with incredible enthusiasm. Makoto looks like she’s determined to enjoy herself and will hear no argument.

The whole thing is incredibly morbid, if you ask Futaba. It feels less like they’re waiting for Akira to leave Tokyo and more like they’re attending Akira’s funeral. Akechi in particular looks like he’s regretting attending, which honestly tickles Futaba more than it should, that the most dishonest Phantom Thief seems to be the only one looking as honestly put-off by the entire affair as everyone else is determined not to be.

That’s everyone else’s problem. Futaba might not be happy Akira has to leave, but she’s proud. She’s sad that Akira has to leave, but also she promised Akira that by the time that he had to leave, she’d be able to get around on her own, without clinging to him for support. And she is able. She kept her promise.

Tomorrow might be the day that Akira has to go, but today is the day that Futaba is Officially Recovered.

Akira does that annoying thing he does where he puts his hand on her head and messes up all her hair, like he’s a human cat showing affection by pissing everyone off. Futaba yelps. “Look at you. You don’t need me at all.”

“I told you that I’d be ready to say goodbye by the time you had to go back to your hometown,” says Futaba. “I haven’t broken my promises yet, have I?”

There’s a burst of laughter from Haru over something Yusuke said, who looks rather surprised to discover that he said anything funny. Both Makoto and Akechi snicker at him, and then stop immediately to glare at each other the second they realize they’ve accidentally wound up sharing an opinion.

Akira ignores them. “Well, you can still text me if you need me. Or call.”

“I’m trying to tell you I’m getting better and I don’t need you,” Futaba grumbles. “Also, what kind of psychopath do you think I am to call someone on the phone?”

“That’s what phones are for.”

“Calling people is scary.”

“I thought you were getting better?” Akira teases.

“I am!” she says, pointing a finger at him. “I am! Just you watch, Akira. I’m getting better every day.”

Six months after joining Kosei, Futaba locks herself in her room and does not reemerge for seven days straight.

She tells Sojiro that she’s sick. Sojiro tells the school that Futaba told him that she’s sick. She definitely fakes a hell of a good cough, and the school lets Yusuke send her her all the homework that she was supposed to be doing in the first place, but Futaba already knows it’s only a matter of time before Sojiro rats on her, and she won’t even blame him because it’ll be for her own good.

In the meantime, she has stashes of crackers and peanut butter from back when she was a full-time hermit. She hates the taste of peanut butter within three days. Her bed is a relief, soft like a home she never left, up until it isn’t anymore. It’s too soft. No matter how she lies on it, no matter how soft it is, a mattress just isn’t comfortable when you’ve been lying on it for seventy-four hours. It’s hot. Smothering. She feels like she’s going to drown in the blankets and they’ll have to fish her moldy, sweaty corpse out of the bottomless quicksand pit of her too-soft mattress.

The thing about being a shut-in is that you don’t actually like your room very much. It’s not a relief, or an oasis, or even a place you enjoy. You’re just terrified of everywhere else more.

She plays a lot of video games that she doesn’t even like. She watches a lot of Twitch streamers she doesn’t even like. She doesn’t do her homework. She ignores Sojiro. She pretends she’s alright to everyone who texts. She wakes up and goes to sleep and thinks about going outside and goes to sleep and wakes up and wonders if the whole last year and her cautious baby steps back into the world outside was all just a hazy dream.

There aren’t a lot of Thieves left in Tokyo, weirdly. Haru and Makoto both graduated, off doing business and law junk that honestly makes Futaba’s brains want to crawl out her ears, but all the numbers check out and Haru’s not in the red yet, and Futaba’s looked at enough people’s dirty laundry to appreciate Haru’s clean ledger. Akira’s back in his dinky hicktown, where there’s barely anything electronic connected to Wifi worth breaking into for surveillance, which is really boring.

Ann’s been doing so many modeling gigs that she might as well not be attending Shujin anymore. She’s practically surrounded by electronics, and all of them are connected to the internet. On any given day, Futaba can snoop through the internet trail of electronic file cabinets full of images of her face, emails about her face, paychecks for her face. Futaba sends Ann more than one email about creepy old dudes making gross comments about her, along with a bunch of other illegal shit they’ve done, plus their offshore accounts full of cash if Ann wants Futaba to sic a lawyer on them.

Ann looks like she’s having fun. Ann looks different on the other side of the computer screen, like she’s less real. Like she’s not someone Futaba really knows. Like Ann’s not someone Futaba’s literally cried on at one point in her life.

Ryuji is definitely attending Shujin, but between physical therapy, catching up on a whole year of track, athletic scholarship hunting, and studying for college admissions tests, Ryuji seems to have been swallowed whole by Shujin, really. Out of boredom, one day, Futaba went down that rabbit hole of researching what it takes to get recruited for track in college, and holy shit–apparently Ryuji’s coach was supposed to be helping him with that whole process, but of course Ryuji barely has a proper coach ever since Kamoshida left Shujin’s track program in pieces. The amount of networking he’s doing is insane, especially for one teenaged boy who barely remembers his homework every night.

Sometimes, when Ryuji’s forgotten to check his email in a while and there’s a message from a coach sitting in his inbox, Futaba will send him a text to make him check it. And then it’s all, What were you doing looking at my emails, Futaba and Which of my other passwords do you know, Futaba, as if Ryuji doesn’t just use the same password over and over and has literally nobody but himself to blame.

So it’s really just Futaba, Yusuke, and–weirdly–Akechi, who’s off doing his gap year and said he was going to go abroad, but then he never did. Not to be a huge snoop, but Futaba went digging through his junk for about five seconds and then she never did it again, because she felt really weird about finding out that the guy that killed her mom is looking into social work, volunteerism, and reforming the justice system.

Like. The man who killed the Thieves’ leader is now literally out there saving orphans. It’s wild.

She might’ve been the one to tell Akechi that he can start over again and do better, but she reserves the right to at least feel weird about it.

She does not call Akira. She talks to Yusuke at school, but she refuses to ask him to accompany her on the subway. She should be recovered by now, shouldn’t she? She was supposed to have gotten over all that when Akira left Tokyo. She’s doing fine. She’s just looking out for her friends. Her, living vicariously through her friends, who’re growing up and growing away, flourishing into young adults? Never.

Everything is the same.

Didn’t she help kill a god last year?

Didn’t she work so hard to get out of her room, to make friends, to reconnect with Kana-chan?

Didn’t she work so hard to change herself?

Didn’t she help change the world?

Everything is the same.

Tuesday, 1:43 PM

YUSUKE: Futaba?

FUTABA: yo inari

FUTABA: u got more homework for me or what

YUSUKE: Ah, no.

YUSUKE: I think your teacher finds it suspicious that I’m sending you homework when I’m not in your grade, as it is.

FUTABA: oh no

FUTABA: what a shame that we didn’t have an entire year of experience with getting away with wildly illegal magic brain crimes without raising any suspicion

FUTABA: truly emailing me like four pieces of paper a day is far too difficult

YUSUKE: Well, I can’t get your homework from your teacher, but I can give you more homework if you’d like.

FUTABA: ok bucko that wasn’t a challenge

YUSUKE: There’s a math problem set that’s been incredibly dull to get through when I have more important pieces I could be working on…

FUTABA: inari im sorry to say but

FUTABA: me literally doing your homework for you is about a thousand times more illegal than you giving me my homework when ur not in my grade

YUSUKE: Oh, is it?

FUTABA: wh

FUTABA: are y

FUTABA: what do you mean OH IS IT

FUTABA: did you not KNOW ur not allowed to have other ppl do ur hw????

FUTABA: inari have u been making other people do ur hw for u so u can have more time to do art?????????

FUTABA: no shut up i dont want to know

FUTABA: i will not be ur accomplice

FUTABA: i see ur little speech bubble thingamajig yusuke i said stop typing forever and ever

YUSUKE: I can’t invite you to the art gallery tomorrow if I can’t type.

YUSUKE: It also seems impractical for you to outlaw me from texting forever.

FUTABA: i literally did not say that

YUSUKE: You said, and I quote,

YUSUKE: “Yusuke, I said stop typing forever and ever.”

FUTABA: ok i know it looks like i said that but please im begging u it’s literally just an exaggeration

YUSUKE: As Makoto would say, it’s hardly an enforceable law.

FUTABA: u literally texted my sick and crusty ass just to give me a hard time

YUSUKE: Are you about recovered from your cold?

FUTABA: and now u have the nerve to ask me to go to ur art show thing

YUSUKE: I didn’t say that.

FUTABA: oh really

FUTABA: what were u gonna ask me about then

YUSUKE: The art show, naturally.

YUSUKE: But you could have done me the courtesy of letting me ask.

FUTABA: all that on the day of my daughter’s wedding and now u want me to do u a solid

FUTABA: well i have news for u

FUTABA: the answer

FUTABA: is yeah

FUTABA: sure why not

YUSUKE: Oh, excellent.

YUSUKE: I thought that you might decline on account of your illness.

FUTABA: i’m not a punk bitch

FUTABA: i’m going

FUTABA: u were only working all those paintings for like two months i wanna see their oily faces in person

YUSUKE: Just because they were made with oil paints does not mean that they are oily.

FUTABA: cant wait to see my oily boys

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, I have to set up the event beforehand, so I will not be able to accompany you on the way here.

YUSUKE: Will you be alright by yourself?

FUTABA: uh

FUTABA: hmm

FUTABA: how oily are these boys in case i need to call a rain check

YUSUKE: Hmm.

YUSUKE: Perhaps someone else can go with you.

YUSUKE: Let me see if I can find someone.

FUTABA: what like one of ur art friends

FUTABA: i’m not going with anyone i dont know sry

YUSUKE: I’ll keep it in mind.

Tuesday, 1:59 PM

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, Ann and Ryuji were not available. Both of them will be coming late to the art show.

YUSUKE: Fortunately, Goro is.

FUTABA: whomst

YUSUKE: Goro Akechi?

YUSUKE: Crow, in case you know multiple Goro Akechis.

FUTABA: no like why u callin him goro

YUSUKE: I asked him if I could and he said yes.

YUSUKE: There’s not many people left in Tokyo who were part of the Thieves.

YUSUKE: I’m not exactly popular at school myself, so I thought it prudent to hold onto the connections I already had.

FUTABA: hhhhhhhhhhhhh

FUTABA: but why him……………………………………….

YUSUKE: Has he done something wrong?

YUSUKE: Well.

YUSUKE: Besides the obvious.

YUSUKE: Last I heard, you were quite vocally supportive of Goro making a change for the better,but have you prehaps reconsidered?

FUTABA: i mean he’s always been nice to me

FUTABA: like even before he was on the team as crow

FUTABA: and then later after he like lost his shit and tried to kill us

FUTABA: he was also like weirdly nice

FUTABA: even if he was dressed as a tokusatsu villain

FUTABA: but

FUTABA: i

FUTABA: ok this is gonna sound really weird but like

FUTABA: you know how i said that the person to take me to the art show has to be someone that i know

YUSUKE: Yes.

FUTABA: even though akechi was one of the thieves at the end

FUTABA: i feel like i dont really know him

FUTABA: he like had that whole breakdown where he spilled all his kylo ren sadstuck junk and then he peeled his dumb ass up off the floor and then we beat up his dad in a dark alley

FUTABA: and then i guess akira likes him a bunch and hangs out with him and i guess probably talked to him about all that stuff that happened

FUTABA: and also i think ann talks to him

FUTABA: and also haru i think for some reason……………………..

FUTABA: but like i feel like. we as a group. never really uhhhhhhh

FUTABA: got to know him very well i guess

FUTABA: because he spent like the whole year being a fake ass bitch

FUTABA: and then by the time he wasnt, the thieves were busy literally fighting god, and it was all business business business

FUTABA: ughghfhg i guess this is just a really long way of saying that like yeah ok i guess i do know him but i dont think i really do

FUTABA: even when he was off the shits in the engine room it was like

FUTABA: somehow that was not……………………………….. really him

FUTABA: idk maybe this is just my Thoughts but like

FUTABA: idk some people are like “your true self is who you are at your worst” and

FUTABA: yeah maybe you are some PART of urself when youre at your worst but like

FUTABA: also not???

FUTABA: that can’t be it

FUTABA: that’s not ALL of you

FUTABA: so all i ever saw was him when he was being a fake ass barbie prince and then when he was like actively losing his shit

FUTABA: and both of those were like. two types of fake ass barbie prince

FUTABA: except obviously the one where he started screamin about murder and trying to kill joker was like, fake ass serial killer barbie prince

FUTABA: anyway i dont buy it for a second that seeing akechi at his worst means that i know the first thing about his “”“”“”“”“true self”“”“”“”“”“”“

FUTABA: like i know that i technically met him but also at the same time i dont think ive ever really actually met this dude

FUTABA: uh tldr what’s the truth crowboy

FUTABA: second tldr do you got anyone else i can go to the art show with because im not unpackin all that junk in the trunk while also trying to fend off a panic attack in the subway

YUSUKE: Well, to speak to "what’s the truth, crowboy,” I’d say he’s actually really funny.

FUTABA: WHAT

YUSUKE: Yes, actually.

FUTABA: YOU TRYNA TELL ME YOU SHARE A SENSE OF HUMOR W AKECHI

YUSUKE: As everyone knows, I don’t have a sense of humor.

YUSUKE: But if I did, that might not be inaccurate to say.

YUSUKE: Either way, we could ask Boss if he’ll take you to school.

FUTABA: no

FUTABA: im not makin him shut down leblanc for the day just cause i cant get my shit together

FUTABA: and i go to school by myself all the time now i dont need to be walked there by my dad like a four yr old

FUTABA: r u sure u dont have anyone else who can take me

YUSUKE: You said it had to be someone you know.

YUSUKE: I can take you.

YUSUKE: But I’ll be getting to Kosei early to prepare.

FUTABA: how early is early

YUSUKE: Four in the morning.

FUTABA: PLEASE INARI

YUSUKE: The people you know is a quite limited pool, Futaba.

FUTABA: shut the hell ur face i dont need u tellin me to make kosei friends too

FUTABA: i get my butt to school every day i’m already a hero

FUTABA: ok alright

FUTABA: crow-san it is

FUTABA: hhh

FUTABA: no shut up stop typing i’m fine

FUTABA: i already saw his dumb ass get inflicted with Horny from Yaldy God Himself i ain’t afraid of no crows

FUTABA: actually now that i remember that that was pretty funny mwehehehehehehe

FUTABA: OKAY send me the who what when where why

YUSUKE: There’s a PDF flier. I’ll send it to you.

YUSUKE: But I will have to type the email to send it to you.

FUTABA: oh my GOD inari

FUTABA: i swear to god ur not actually this dense and youre just pretending u dont know what an exaggeration is just to drive me up the wall

YUSUKE: Oh, that is a possibility, isn’t it?

FUTABA: WH

YUSUKE: Ah, last period is starting. I’ll have to talk to you later.

FUTABA: WHAT

FUTABA: NO WAIT

FUTABA: HELLO????

FUTABA: YUSUKE NO COME BACK

Tuesday, 2:53 PM

FUTABA: YUSUKE HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING AKECHI DO UR HW FOR U SO YOU CAN DO MORE ART??

FUTABA: IS THAT WHY UR ON A FIRST NAME BASIS W HIM

FUTABA: ANSWER ME STRINGBEAN

In Futaba’s opinion, there’s an infinite amount of more embarrassing reasons to pull yourself out of your depression pit than “I needed to yell at my friend for being a snotty bastard,“ and there’s worse escorts to have than the weird guy who went from being a professional murderer to their weird awkward friend. Firstly, if there’s anything that can motivate Futaba Sakura, it’s the primal urge to dunk on her friends for spite and memes. Secondly, there’s no chance in hell Futaba’s going to have a breakdown in front of Akechi.

She can do this. She got herself out of this grave once; she can do it again. Even if Akira isn’t here. She’s getting better. She promised him.

On the eighth day of her almost-return to hermithood, Akechi texts her:

AKECHI: I’m here.

AKECHI: Are you ready to go?

Futaba is wearing only an old shirt, no bra, sweats, and vaguely greasy hair from all the showers she’s skipped.

FUTABA: i’m SO ready

FUTABA: the readiest

FUTABA: ultra mega super ready

FUTABA: featherman ranger code name Ready

AKECHI: Oh.

AKECHI: Alright.

Hell yes alright. Time for Futaba to save her own life from her gravesite of a room.

With… Goro Akechi. Wow, life is weird, huh?

She drags on her Kosei uniform like a skin discarded long ago. It feels stiff. Maybe because it feels wrong to wear school clothes like a functioning human; maybe because she just hasn’t washed it in a week. The very idea of explaining herself to Sojiro stresses her out, so she doesn’t do it. The idea of not explaining herself to Sojiro, when he deserves an explanation and also would probably have a heart attack if he realized that she’d disappeared from her room without his knowing, also stresses her out, so she still doesn’t explain herself to Sojiro.

I told Akira I’m better now. I can do this. I did this for more than six months. I was out of my room in the real world, I went to the school festival, I changed my own heart…

She creeps down the stairs like a thief in her own house and pokes her head out the door. Goro Akechi is fiddling with his phone in the sun outside her house, looking like he, too, has only just managed to pull on his Human Suit and look like a guy who didn’t make shadows beg for mercy for fun, so it looks like this whole expedition is going to be a lot of fun.

"Futaba-chan?” says Akechi, only just noticing her lurking in her own doorway. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. How are you?”

Futaba opens her mouth. No noise comes out.

Akechi’s eyebrows slowly begin to knit together.

“I’m good,” she says squeakily. Clears her throat. Holy shit, she’s not afraid of Akechi after all that junk they went through in the Metaverse. She saw him as a rat. She saw him visibly want to break his father’s face when Shido tried to apologize to him on live TV. Once, Makoto and Akechi got into an unironic, passionate, hour-long argument about whether or not it’s beneficial to color code your notes.

“I’m alright!” Futaba announces louder, maybe a little loudly, considering the way he looks only more concerned. “L-Let’s hurry up and get this sidequest over with!”

She pulls her hoodie over her head and jams her hands into the pockets and makes herself as small as possible and inches out of the doorway. “If you… say so,” says Akechi, and eventually matches her incredibly slow pace as she shuffles her way towards the main street.

When the noise of Yongen-Jaya’s street hits her, her heart rate (already high as hell) spikes even higher like the first day she’d come out of her room, but the old coping mechanisms come back like second nature: Breathe slower, avoid eye contact, remember her mission, stick to the sides of the streets. Breathe slower. She’s still got it. It’s still hard, but she’s got a whole arsenal of ways to deal. She can do this. She will kick Yusuke’s ass for being a dick, if only out of sheer spite.

If Akira were here, I could hide behind him and…

No, shut up, shut up. All she has is her hoodie and Goro Akechi. Akira’s not here. She can do this by herself.

Akechi makes precisely two attempts at small talk (“How has Kosei been?” “Have you seen the pieces Yusuke submitted to the art show before?”) before he realizes that Futaba isn’t going to respond by virtue of barely holding onto her shit by her fingernails. He shuts up and sticks close by. Futaba makes her way down the streets towards the subway like walking on a tightrope. The subway station isn’t busy, but she puts every step in front of her like she’s going to fall. Getting on the subway might as well be a highwire. Futaba and Akechi wait for the train in mutual silence to the sound of other commuters murmuring amongst themselves, like a toothless echo of Mementos’s depths.

When they get on the train, people around her are quiet, thank god, but all of a sudden she’s convinced that she smells because she hasn’t taken a shower in literal days, and she tries to pack herself into her seat as tightly as possible. The guy in front of her is scrolling through something at a ferocious pace and his thumbnail keeps hitting the screen with this incessant clack, clack, clack noise. The subway voice announces their next station as the doors begin to close, and a girl suddenly sits bolt upright, having realized that this is her station after all, and bangs Futaba’s knees hard as she passes. Futaba wants to curl her legs to her chest, but she’s wearing Kosei’s uniform skirt and it’d just make everyone stare at her if she did that on the subway. She curls her fingers into the skirt hem. She stares down at her knees and lets her hair drape around her like a curtain. She can do this. She can do this. Breathe slower. Even slower. I did this for more than six months, I told Akira I’m better now, I changed my own heart…

Akechi pulls out his phone. Futaba’s phone buzzes.

AKECHI: Are you alright?

FUTABA: i said i was ready dude

Akechi types and retypes an answer, which technically Futaba could just look over his arm and read, but instead Futaba flips through apps on her phone and pulls up a shitty mobile dungeon crawler. She dies four times before Akechi puts his phone away without sending anything.

They pass multiple stations like that. Futaba sure as hell hopes that Akechi’s watching which station they’re on, because she isn’t. After the millionth time she dies, Futaba just closes the app altogether. Concentration’s shot. Can’t focus on anything. Heartbeat’s too loud. Breathing’s too loud. The guy next to her is breathing too loud. Everything is too loud.

New text:

AKECHI: Yusuke said you’d recovered from your cold, but you still look a little unwell.

Futaba doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t need Negative Nancy over here telling her she’s gonna crack. Because she isn’t gonna. The subway starts to slow, and the voice announces the station for Yusuke’s school. She’s literally almost there, she’s right there, she might die in three seconds because her heart is going to pound of her chest but at least she’s going to make it, she promised Akira that she was alright—

The subway doors open. Passengers stand to get off. Akechi stands up. Futaba drops like a rock.

“I can’t,” Futaba’s voice says. She sounds like she’s crying. “I can’t, I can’t do it, I—”

“Futaba—”

“I’m can’t do it, I—”

She buries her face in her knees on the dirty subway floor. Oh, she really is crying. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t…”

Around her, people’s feet stop moving. They’re staring at her. She’s crying on the subway and everyone is staring at her. “Shh,” says Akechi, like Futaba doesn’t know she’s being a loud and irritating pest, but then he takes off his winter coat and covers her with it. Suddenly everything goes dark. It’s a huge coat, too; it wraps around her whole torso with enough room to spare to cover her entire head. Inside, it’s like she’s back in her room, only listening to the sounds of real life somewhere on the other side of a computer monitor, where it can’t hurt her. It’s so surprising she hiccups to a stop. Two hands pull her up by the shoulders and guide her to stand. “Up. Let’s go.”

“Is she okay?” says a voice.

Futaba’s entire body seizes with fear. She ducks into her own knees, trying to disappear.

“Hey, little girl, are you alright?”

“She’ll be fine,” says Akechi’s friendly, super fake ass barbie prince voice. “My sister just had a hard day. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“A hard day?” Now the stranger’s voice is accusatory.

“For your information, our dog was recently brutally run over in front of her eyes.”

“Young man, are you serious right now?”

“Oh, yes. There was blood everywhere. Its intestines squelched horribly under the tires less than six feet away from her,” Akechi goes on. Futaba chokes, and then hiccups in what she realizes is almost a laugh. “Please excuse her. Thank you.” And before the literal complete stranger can follow up on that awful statement, Akechi takes her hand and pulls her up.

Futaba stumbles to her feet. If she has to take the coat off right now, she will actually die.

“It’s okay. Just hold my hand and follow me.”

Blindly, she lets him lead her out of the subway, weaving through people with only minimal contact with other people’s shoulders. There’s a whole awkward period where Akechi has to walk her up the stairs out of the subway station while she can’t see anything, but eventually the noise and bustle of other people around her seems to die away, and the air grows cooler in the way it does in the shadows between city buildings. Then they stop walking altogether. When Akechi lets go of her hand, she almost tries to grab it back before she catches herself.

“Okay. There’s nobody else around, now. It’s safe.”

Futaba doesn’t come out of the jacket. In the dark, her eyes dart back and forth, trying to see even as she blinds herself.

“Sorry for grabbing you so suddenly like that,” Akechi’s voice goes on after it becomes obvious she’s not going to come out.

Futaba wipes snottily at her own face. Oh, this is so gross, she’s got snot and tears on top of five days worth of grime and body juice because she hadn’t taken a shower. She’s disgusting. She really actually wants to die right now. She can’t show her face like this.

“Er,” says Akechi. “Do you want…. water, or…?”

Futaba folds up right there on the city pavement, probably dragging Akechi’s nice coat all over a dirty alleyway. She tucks her face into her knees, where she feels safest, and pulls the coat flaps even tighter. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“I’m sorry for not being okay,” she mumbles.

There’s a short silence. “You really don’t have to be.”

“I do,” Futaba says. She feels like she’s nine years old again, a petulant kid who needs to hold people’s hands and be escorted around Tokyo. “This is—it’s stupid, and I can’t believe I-I’m still doing this, a-and even a-after everything that h-happened last year, I’m still just a… I’m still…”

“It’s fine,” says Akechi. Even he sounds overwhelmed, and at the first sound of weakness, she pulls the coat off her head and glares at him furiously, red-faced and covered in tears and snot and gross depression juice crust and all.

“I’m not supposed to be this way anymore!” she says miserably. “I’m supposed to be better! Moved on! Doing literally a-anything else but crying over t-taking a subway! It’s stupid and nobody else is like this and I just want to be over this already and I just want to be better already and—!“

She covers her face with her hands again. God, even when she says that, it sounds pathetic.

After a moment or two, she hears Akechi moving again. She peeks at him. He’s crouching in almost the exact same pose as her, looking like he’s resigning himself to neither getting his coat back, nor moving from this spot any time soon, nor getting to Yusuke’s art show on time, but also looking archly and entirely unperturbed about it. Actually, it looks like he’s writing a work email on his phone.

Futaba was right about being in an alleyway, but it’s so cold because they’re shielded by a trio of vending machines selling canned coffee and wrapped sandwiches. "Our dog was recently run over?” she says.

“People can mind their own damn business,” says Akechi in his Pleasant Boy Voice, without looking up from his email.

“He was just trying to help.”

“Oh, yes, let’s help the crying girl by crowding her and suffocating her in a crush of public transit.”

Futaba snorts. “That was really mean of you.”

“Oh, absolutely,” says Akechi.

Futaba sucks a truly disgusting gob of snot into her nose. “Ugh. I wish I could’ve seen the guy’s face when you told him that.”

“It was like I’d spat on his shoes. I should’ve kept going. Or had a camera.”

“Futaba giggles wetly into her forearms. "Like one of those—those prank videos online… Get Yusuke to film it.”

“Yusuke, as the cameraman? I’m not trying to make a documentary.” Akechi flips to a different screen on his phone. “I already texted Yusuke about our poor dead dog, by the way, so don’t worry about it.”

Suddenly Futaba feels like literal garbage again. “Why are you always so nice to me?” she mumbles.

Akechi makes a weird face, like he’s trying to do his old Pleasant Boy shtick while having swallowed a lemon whole. “You say that like me being nice is somehow unusual.”

“Uh, yeah. Because it is. You literally were just being a huge asshole to a guy you’d never met over a fictional dog.”

Akechi has this increasingly disgruntled look on his face like he kind of wants to punt Futaba down some stairs, which, frankly, is the best sort of reward, in Futaba’s opinion. “I’m working on it,” he says grumpily.

“How’s that been?” says Futaba.

“Which part?”

Futaba has one whole moment of self reflection on this idea as maybe not a good course of action before she barrels on anyway: “The part where you’re turning your life around. Starting over. Trying again.”

“It sucks dick,” says Akechi.

“Oh, right on,” says Futaba, and then before she can stop herself: “Wait, I thought you liked dick?”

Akechi makes a noise like a strangled cat.

Futaba cackles. “Dude, incognito mode when you’re browsing for porn does not save you from people like me.”

“Have you been spying on me?”

“Uh, yes? Obviously?”

“You know you could get arrested for that sort of breach in privacy.”

“Oh, boo hoo, so sorry I know all about your weird orphan-saving night job and your smutty Featherman doujinshi collection. You’re not gonna narc on me.” Futaba stops. “Are you?”

“Stop looking at my internet history.”

“No. You better not narc on me.”

“Then stop looking at my internet history.”

“You had to google how to change a SIM card last week, crow-boy; you couldn’t stop me if you tried.”

“I will narc on you.”

“No you won’t. You’re the one trying to not be an asshole.”

Akechi makes a face like a cat being slowly submerged in cold water. Futaba laughs in his face.

“If you’re quite done,” says Akechi grouchily.

“No, never. You’re made for being made fun of,” says Futaba. “I’m gonna be making fun of you for years and years, crow-boy; you’re never going to get rid of me.”

“Great.”

“Gonna be creeping on your weird orphan-saving night job until the day you die.”

“Wonderful,” says Akechi without inflection whatsoever.

“Mwehehehehehehehehehe.”

“If you’re quite done.”

“I will take a well-deserved break from my endless duty to troll you both on and offline,” says Futaba. “Because I really really really wanna go to the art show.”

Akechi has the nerve to look relieved that he no longer has to squat in a dirty alleyway listening to a high school freshman bully him. “Then let’s go.”

Futaba hugs her knees tight. “But I wanna keep your coat.”

“Aren’t you wearing your own coat?” says Akechi, trying to look like he isn’t shivering. “Aren’t you getting hot?”

“I’m keeping it.”

“It’s my coat.”

“I’m keeping it.”

“Fine, then. Keep it. It’s dry clean only.”

“Oh, ew. No, take it back, gross, gross,” and Futaba peels the snotty, tear-stained, dirty winter coat off and dumps it back in Akechi’s arms, who looks at it with the expression of someone long-suffering and without hope of escape.

“And,” says Futaba, “I wanna see it if you tell anyone else that our dog got run over.”

Akechi smirks. “You’ll have to film it, then.”

“Oh my god, like I wouldn’t.”

Futaba scrubs her face one last time. She still feels like she’s covered in a grimy layer of slime, but maybe she can wash her face at Kosei. When she gets there. Because she’s gonna get there.

“Uh, one more thing,” says Futaba.

“Not like you’ve bullied me into doing literally everything else you’ve wanted,” says Akechi.

“You can’t laugh at me.”

“Good thing I don’t have a sense of humor,” says Akechi, which horrifyingly confirms to Futaba that Akechi and Yusuke, of all people, really do share a sense of humor.

Futaba hesitates. “Please, um… please don’t tell Akira about this.”

“Why would I tell Akira?“

"Nice. Good answer.” She smooths her hair down, trying to make herself presentable, or just have something to do with her hands. “I… told him I was gonna be okay without him and all that, so… I don’t wanna let him down, you know?”

Slowly, almost shyly, Akechi smiles. “Oh, yes. I know.”

“Our secret. Secret-keepers.”

“Secret-keepers. Are you ready?”

Futaba takes another deep breath. Pushes herself up, brushes herself off, and sighs. “Absolutely not. This is gonna suck so much dick,” says Futaba. “Let’s go anyway.”

#mine #slams hands on table FUTAGO SIBLINGS #futaba's dubious mental health cw #Anonymous

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divine-draws · 4 years

Text

okay i had a whole google doc that i wrote a buncha shit but imma try to CONDENSE it and make my ideas more clear bc there was some wishy washy in there. BUT dabihawks ice skating au bc im gay for that shit. all of it under the cut bc this shit is gunna get LONG. buckle in fuckers. ALSO FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ABOUT this i will be happy to answer shit :3c

SO fair warning before we begin. i know shit about ice sports. im like 1) not THAT educated nor have i legit participated though ive always wanted to and 2) this is just self indulgent so like if i dont get shit right or whatever dont come at me bro. im here to have FUN and live a bit vicariously. also as for location of all this shit i dont know and dont care and am american so my perspective on things are skewed. anyway cw: abuse mention

so dabi (touya) is a previous figure skater

he’s a figure skating prodigy

enji was a pro hockey player (id say figure skating but this man was BUILT like a brick shithouse idk man) has a lot of championships under his belt but doesnt even begin to touch the legacy of his one sided rival yagi toshinori

him and rei meet and marry at a young age. she like.. actually liked him then?? shit was kinda okay but things kinda.... got bad quick. the abuse etc was ... yeah. she ends up having dabi and fuyumi (they’re twins babeyy) at a young age too and kinda doesnt feel like she can get out of her horrible marriage

we wont dwell too much on the bad part of all of this though. anyway rei was a figure skater

p well known and known for her fucking GRACE god she moved so well on the ice.

she was so beautiful and spoke through her movements and enji loved that... and so as a hockey player and with a (now previous) figure skater wife he was like aight my kids WILL take up an ice sport and be the FUCKING BEST

dabi isnt made for hockey. enji tries to get him into it but it’s... nah... fuyumi isnt the best with figure skating. she’s good!! and her and dabi do some pair skating when they’re younger but it’s.. hm. dabi is the one with the clear talent here. (fuyumi is a beast on the ice when it comes to hockey though. will dominate. but she kinda... didnt really continue with it)

enji isnt PLEASED that his son isnt gunna be a hockey player but he still values figure skating and will fucking make sure he’s the BEST at it. and so the brutal training starts. he gets some good coaches and also takes up the coaching mantle

the thing is.. rei was amazing as a skater but her body just... wasnt really made for all of that??? and dabi unfortunately kinda inherited that. his body hates the impacts and such. he’s amazing at figure skating. he has a grace similar to his mothers but there’s something more fierce to him.

and honestly !!! he gets far!!

also natsuo comes around. he’s a bit too clumsy for either sport and resents the fact that him and fuyumi are neglected by their father. he also loves touya and gets so pissed seeing his brother so hurt

and shouto is born and this kid was made to be on the ice. he’s skating from the moment he can fucking stand on his own.

obvs enji’s attention is split but it’s mainly on touya who is winning championships and GOING places but it’s still not good enough

anyway idk how far he goes?? but it’s the biggest competition yet and on ice mid routine he lands wrong

one thing leads to the next and he’s pretty much medically retired from a young age. he can skate. he can still kinda preform but he cant do what he used to at ALL and he cant keep up with the brutal pace enji sets. there’s a lot of trying to push him still and it’s just.. not happening

for all it’s worth dabi is kinda glad he isnt doing it anymore. but he fears for his babies brother. shouto is a natural and while yes being a professional athlete of any sort is brutal on your body, his body is a lot more capable

but like touya before, shouto is pushed to his absolute limits. bleeding and injuries and puking his guts out from being pushed too far

there’s a lotta resentment but he still pushes through w skating.

(side note but there DEF is some todomido/tododeku w hockey player izuku who ends up being coached by THE yagi toshinori and who helps shouto out w making shit his own)

anyway so in the end dabi ends up working at a rink tho lol

it’s p much owned by shigarai and run by the lov (who in this au end up making their own little ragtag unofficial local hockey team p much and play games against other teams like them)

despite his father’s whole career, dabi does enjoy playing hockey with these dipshits

but yeah he enjoys his time working at the rink, fucking around and sleeping in random places and sometimes running the zamboni

he’s also best frenemies with shigaraki. they get along and both deal with a shitty upbringing and despite some slight animosity they both would kill if someone fucked w the other

(also at some point dabi DEF teaches some little kid classes lol)

also dabi does sometimes skate his own routines from time to time. only when he’s alone really. though fuyumi has a pass to be there though he will gripe still

SO HAWKS AM I RIGHT??

now there is a couple ways to go with this and somewhere in me there is an au with hockey player hawks who takes skating lessons from figure skater dabi BUT

i think for this au we’ll just say he was a figure skater from the get go

i think he WANTED to do hockey as a kid. like shouto he’s also a fucking natural and was skating as soon as he could fucking stand and walk. and he looked up to enji and kinda wanted to take up hockey but

listen,,, trans hawks. who wanted to be like todoroki enji and be a pro hockey player. shit just.. didnt work like that though and besides he’s a tiny dude and god he’d be fucking obliterated

he kinda is self taught and the ice is his escape from his shitty home life

idk how this works but listen gotta tie in the commission somehow???

he’s scouted or whatever for figure skating at a very young age and his mom is happy to take the heavy scholarships and happy to sign him over to skate for these ppl and have them push him to be The Best

and this kid is FAST. he’s fast and is insane with his jumps and stg it almost looks like he’s FLYING (which gets him the nickname hawks)

the coaches are brutal and shit sucks and a lot of the time it kinda sucks the life out of the sport but he still enjoys it

he has a love for outfits that legit have flare to them (also im thinking of johnny weir’s one outfit w the feathers but yknow instead of white they are RED) and while he does do routines to boring ass music he mainly likes doing shit different (also dabi was p much forced the whole time to do shit to that boring ass music but on his own he’d use his own music taste to skate to)

and he’s good!! he GOES places. he’s like makes it to the olympics at a young age and is one of THE youngest gold medalists for figure skating

im sure somewhere along the line him and dabi DID meet. it was at some competition and hawks was VIBRATING bc there’s ENJI and he wants and autograph and oH GOD IS THAT HIS SON??? he’s HOT. (and at this time dabi still had his red hair and like no piercings and what little ones he had they were out but this dumbass will not recognize him later on)

but god he needs to chill TF out or he will fuck up in the competition

he hears about dabi’s whole accident and like feels for him but again it’s not like they were friends. there was more of a slight rivalry and they barely spoke if they did

but so idk like.. between seasons hawks finds himself going like nearly every day to this rink.. aka shigaraki’s rink (also sidenote but lbr it’s really run by shirakumo who kinda has to fucking herd the cats w this group)

as frenemies dabi and shigaraki share their distaste for some of these pro athletes (tho some get a pass) and kinda complain about hawks a bit tho like..... shigaraki cant complain TOO much bc of the money from hawks renting out the rink for a few hours almost every day

dabi is too gay for this shit when he actually sees hawks in action. rip him

tbh they dont really interact tho (besides dabi telling him to gtfo the rink or he’ll run him over with the zamboni) until one day that hawks catches dabi skating

he was done and should have been gone but he forgot something on the bleachers and then he sees dabi and.. oh boy he’s GAY AF

and also dabi is RLLY GOOD???

and so hawks makes a FOOL of himself and startles the poor guy and p much presses all the wrong buttons w asking why he doesnt compete or something

and i mean im sure they had some SLIGHT progress w talking before. nothing significant but god the walls go RIGHT THE FUCK UP and dabi is pissed

tbh dabi was gunna get to the point where he LEGIT talked to him and maybe lowkey asked him out (he says this but shigaraki calls his bluff) and now there is no way. he storms off and tries to avoid him so hard

and hawks tries to corner him a bit but after some time he does manage to corner him and be like pls just let me take you out to dinner to make up for that shit????

aaand dabi accepts bc listen okay he cant say no to free food ??? like he’s kinda pissy w this guy but also.. listen he has EYES

anywayyy p much this just leads to them dating

hawks DEF looks him up and watches all the vids of him and like the idiot he is realizes that he met him before ( “oh my GOD i know you” “uh… we’re dating i hope u know me?????” “nO I MEAN WE MET AT (insert comp)”)

but before that dabi did like tell him some shit. mainly about like how he used to skate blah blah and the whole thing that ended all of that

he doesnt really delve too deep into like his shitty childhood until well later

idk what leads to it but the convo finally comes up and it’s so draining for dabi and hawks is horrified and ready to fight his dad (“listen i just sharpened my skates i’ll just-”)

anyway some side things bc this is long and i will answer questions on this tho

rumi is a women’s pro hockey player and fuyumi who actually follows hockey and shit has the BIGGEST crush on her (they end up together)

also natsuo comes to see one of the leagues games (he hasnt really seen them play tbh?? he hears about it from dabi but he lives like at least a few hours away on campus and is going for med school so rip him) and like he meets shigaraki and anyway dabi is losing his FUCKING MIND bc his best frenemy/boss and his younger brother are FLIRTING. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM???

dabi and hawks are really gay together and have skated together by this point and made out on ice a few times and shigaraki was miserable and is like “NOW U KNOW!!” and dabi is pissed bc “yEAH BUT THAT”S MY LITTLE BROTHER??? IT”S NOt thE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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ghoestys · 3 years

Text

i’m literally pulling this out of my ass so if there are errors and stuff doesnt make sense then please myob and pretend like u understand what im saying im trying to do this before i get caught not doing hw he comes at 6 n its 5:43 rn

statistics

full name: suzy nora yoon nickname(s): su, suz (pronounced like snooze without the n) age: twenty three date of birth: tba! hometown: tba! gender: cis female religion: athiest sexuality: bisexual hair colour: black/dark brown eye colour: brown height: 5'5″ tattoos: tba! piercings: tba!

prompt + blackmail

a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-three and a senior undergrad student majoring in aviation engineering. they are as gregarious as they are aimless.

TW DRUGS! 1. to pay for yale's very expensive tuitition, suzy sells weed that's both fake and real, depending on who is buying and if she likes them. she's not a good seller, though, so this hasn't been the best form of income for her. 2. got accepted into the aviation engineering program, but suzy can't complete her homework without the help of drugs to keep her mind focused and creative enough to understand the problems

about

family/upbringing/childhood/wtvr

so! literally pulling this out of my ass and making things up as i go! suzy was born in a family with her parents (mom & dad), her older sister, and her older brother. the family was strictly middle class and her parents and siblings were very hardworking. her siblings were good at what they did and they excelled in their academics because they tried hard and all that stuff!

growing up, suzy followed her siblings and her parents and was basically a gifted child from the very start. elementary and middle school was not hard for her and she was in all the advanced and gifted programs. the family was calm and there wasn’t anything drastic that removed the peace or caused any disruption at all. like. they were just chillin.

i think suzy had an average relationship with her parents. they were still asian, so like... it’s as good as it was going to get. she was somewhat close to her siblings, but seeing as they were 5/8 years older than her, the age gap wasn’t that welcoming to the baby of the family. she was kinda just.. having fun on her own being smart n shit.

anyways! high school! where all gifted kids literally come to die! due to her shit from elem & middle school, she was offered a full ride scholarship to some prestigious school and as asian parents, they were NOT going to reject that free ride to a school that would help ensure suzy’s success in the future. she went from being one of the smartest kids to being another burnt out gift child and high school was fucking ROUGH!

bitch really had a fucking crisis and burned the fuck out. her not being the smartest bitch anymore literally killed everything in her and she just stopped being that. she met people and what do u know! got into the wrong crowd where drugs and alcohol was everyones bff!

she got into that pretty heavily by sophomore year i would say. she was just. yea.

i mean. she was burnt out but her grades were still fine if u saw them. studying isnt hard for suzy and shes pretty smart, but she wasn’t at the very top of her class anymore and thats what killed her. instead of having straight a’s, suzy was getting b’s and a few c’s. in a family where anything other than an a was acceptable it really just killed suzy some more

anyways! drugs and alcohol! made her feel good so she did it. she found that weed was the best thing as well as some tranquilizers/anything that relaxed her essentially. she just liked the feeling of floating n not caring or feeling any pressure like. she wanted to b in her own world n shit.

college/the elites

after graduating high school, she didnt apply to college right away because honestly? drugs and alcohol and a bitch didnt care by her senior year. her grades were not the best and while she couldve gotten into college, she literally had no interest for college and her parents at this point baiscally disowned her so like? who the fuck is gonna pay for her college??

her work ethic is the worst bc shes so careless like. bitch had a shift from 1-7pm and showed up at 5 because she literally didnt feel bothered enough to show up.

anyways a year or so after graduating high school (idk the math rn) she got really high off something and just. did a whole ass application to yale bc she decided to apply for the shits n giggles. wrote a fake letter of recommendation, wrote killer essay and personal reflection shit or wtvr, and even submitted the application with an attached document of her outlining an entire airplane that wouldve been fully functional except for a few tweaks n shit that was needed

she some how got in from that (this is fake this would probs not b real <3 teehee) and bc she was now accepted and going to yale (she accepted high aha a theme for her), she had to think about how to fund for this shit so she decided to get into drug dealing!

which is honestly. not going good like a bitch again has poor work ethics so her as a drug dealer is so.... she literally got into it bc of euphoria bc it looked easy but doing it... is not easy at all but its her only form of funding so she’s doing it. kinda. loosely. please fire her.

idk where to put this but. suzy is kinda like that girl from the queens gambit where she feels like she needs drugs to function so like she ditches class but she’ll do all her assignments nicely bc she thinks the drugs give her superpowers to b smart n at the top of her academic class again

when shes under the influence of anything she feels like she can function more or like her life is just... better when shes not sober and ull rarely really see her sober like shes usually just on something

idk where the post is rn bc im too lazy to look for it bc i jsut got a text that he was coming now but!!! its the tweet where a guy was drunk n drew up an entire blue print of an airplane and that is literally fucking suzy i swear to god

when shes high she’s like the smartest bitch around (shes smart without drugs but doesnt believe that) and can build airplanes n blueprints n solve maths n wtvrs

suzy is truly an asian stem bitch and the sciences and math is where she excels the most!!!! probs won awards n competitions for math and science but doesnt really acknowledge that much becase like... its just not something shes focused on

got into the elites by just making a blueprint of a plane from scratch infront of the twins like. legit just went infront of them, started making the blueprint from scratch to finish n gave it to them saying here is a blueprint for a new private plane u guys can build for urselves

personality

personality wise she is very friendly n goofy n chill n chaotic

literally a dumbass n honestly really annoying just ask orion

shes just a stoner having fun doing her life n not really caring about anything like. how she made it to senior year who the fuck knows i really dont honestly

i think the main way to describe her is bimbo like thats it

not really into sharing her life and is more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations that are genuinely deep and personal. she will not talk to u about her problems and insecurities seriously (maybe she’ll do it in a self deprecating way) unless she trusts u w her life. otherwsie she will keep it to herself n prays that her stoner part will make people believe shes just chillin w no problems

when it comes to conversations about nonsense n fake deep shit like what is air then suzy will not shut the fuck up like if u wanna talk to someone about nonsense then suzy is truly ur bitch like. a bitch can fucking talk

doesnt mind being alone bc she has fun on her own but she prefers company more bc she likes having fun and having someone to accompany wtvr she does. whether its for smoking/drinking or hanging out but also just for like... going to class if she chooses to attend and doing everyday errands like groceries or wtvr. she doesnt really do groceries tho bc she just steals orions fodo but when she does choose to go she likes having people with her :)

she doesnt have a passion for anything bc she doesnt dream of labor but the closest thing about b making airplanes or helicopters like. blueprints come easy to her n she enjoys making them bc she feels like shes actually capable of something bc shes aware that making them isnt something everyone can do

u can treat her like a dumbass n she wont call u on it even tho shes kinda smart bc she feels like shes a dumbass

most likely has bad self esteem and feels like a failure but uses drugs n alcohol to ignore that feeling :)

probs the least judgemental person ull ever meet bc she really doesnt care about what u do like. she hears the secrets getting outted n she doesnt care there r high chances that she’ll still look at u the same way

#intro #i am rushing im so sorry i jsut wanted this out while i was thinking about her

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stumbleintothesun · 3 years

Text

Life Rant

For the few people in here...sorry lmao this is long as hell.

Lately I've been feeling like...garbage. I know there's no one on this place that really follows me, so this is me posting to the void.

I have been dealing with a lot of health issues related to my mental health and weight. I've gained nearly twenty pounds in a year, and no matter what I do my weight doesn't budge. I work out regularly, Ive been trying to eat better but...my only thought is its because I'm working a desk job now - which I fucking hate with a fury. And I know my weight isnt the end of the world - it just really, really fucks with my mental health. I've always felt ugly. The only time I didn't was when I was super thin which I know is problematic - and I know that's part of my mental health...like my aunt died from an ED. And my mom definitely had/has an ED even if she's gotten much better about it in the past few years...

And I'm finally getting my face to clear up after wearing these masks for a year - a year! But I'm still dealing with the healing process and I'm anxious it will scar. I've worked this entire pandemic at a job I *hate* just to you know, finally pay off my student loans just go back to school so maybe I can do something I love. But even at 25 and providing for myself, I hardly got any financial help. The only thing saving me is my grades that got me a decent transfer scholarship.

But the first school I applied to wanted my high school transcript, even though I have an associate's degree, and because I'm, frankly, stupid I somehow missed that they needed it. So they threw out my application that I spent an otherwise four hours writing for.

So I'm going to Eastern, which frankly will be better for my mental health, but they don't have a tuition free program. So I'm going to have to borrow money after just finally paying off my single year at a liberal arts college debt that I took on when I was 17 (it ended up being like 30k to pay off). And it's all because I didn't fucking read right. So much for being a good student, I guess.

But it wouldn't have mattered because they would've hardly taken any of my classes despite most of them being from down the road and for an associate's degree! And even Eastern is giving me a hard time, despite my degree they say I don't have the basic level biology course - my degree is biology focused! I'm going into ecology! I have taken genetics, conservation biology, anatomy and physiology, cellular biology but I don't have intro bio? So now I have to test out, on top of working full time. Which is fine, its a good refresher...I'm just so overwhelmed with life right now. I have a stack of over 100 flash cards and I'm just anxious.

This is a year after my partner went through an ugly break up with their old fiance (we were poly), and their ex was an abusive POS who once told them if they came out as anything other than their assigned gender, he wouldn't date them anymore. He gaslit them constantly, made them feel like hell. So we finally got out, but he wanted the house they got together or 10k. He made over double what they make - and he always forced them to pay half the bills, including half of his fucking protein bullshit because it was "groceries." He knew they didn't have the funds. Because our friends are amazing, we were able to buy him off but he left the house trashed.

It fucking sucked, and they were also responsible for getting his name off the house which meant a refinance that we could hardly afford. We got lucky we were able to do it, but they hardly got anything back for it. And it was a *nightmare*. We finally got it done, after pulling teeth and it took six months. Four months longer than they said. And that entire time they were forced to occasionally reach out to him, their old abuser.

Finally we were free, but then I started having further issues at work. Between the pandemic, and working in a heavily red area during the election, I cried a lot. I work in customer service and while I make okay money for the industry, I'm constantly burned out. My colleagues are okay, but it feels stupid to leave just to find a job for three months to go back to school. Then I started being short in my drawer (I'm a teller at a bank). The final straw was being short $500. Now I'm on a work plan, and if Im short again, I'm out. And it's my fault. I don't know how it has been happening. So now I'm always on edge at work, triple checking everything. And I could leave, I could get another job but there's no promise I'll make what I do now, and in order for me to pay for the chunk of school I need to, I have to put away a certain amount every month.

I do have a grant of sorts for 5k per semester to help with bills, which will alleviate a lot once August arrives. And I know I'm crazy lucky to have that. So sometimes I feel like such an asshole about it. But we have a house to pay for and bills to pay. Just like everyone else. Ugh, I don't know.

I talked to my doctor about my weight, came in with calorie intake numbers and how much I work out with zero change. I cut out pop entirely from drinking it every day. Nothing has helped. So we switched my meds from Lexapro to Wellbutrin to see if I lose weight because of that. Nope, just having more mental break downs, steady weight, and my resting heart rate is abnormally high, stopping me from making a little extra cash donating plasma. So now I'm switching back to Lexapro with nothing gained other than. You know. Feeling like shit. Next up? Birth control coming out of my arm. Don't really need it anyway. And maybe that will help? But I don't think so. I'm not sure what to do.

I am genuinely trying to be healthy, eating more whole foods. More veggies. More home cooked meals. I love to cook, I'm just tired. And sometimes the air fryer and oven baked frozen foods are too easy to pass up. I'm trying to always eat breakfast. I'm working out again, we have a gym membership but there are so many men there and I dont always feel comfortable, because my partner has been anemic and they can't go yet. So I use our bike in the living room and do home workouts.

But when I did this last time there was zero change in weight or anything. Even when I ate really, really clean for three weeks and worked out for most days, tracking calories and everything. Nothing changed. My thyroid is fine, we've already checked it. I'm just tired.

This past year, other than being with my partner has fucking sucked. And this doesn't even cover all the shit they've dealt with with switching to they/them and a name change. I love them so much, and love that they are finally comfy but their parents were assholes about it. And that matters. It does, and I get it. I just wish I could help them more. I wish we had a break, a breather for longer than a day. Even then I can't relax, I'm too on edge. There's too much to be done. I need to earn money, I need to clean, I need to focus. I need to be productive in some way to justify if I'm not working on those things. It's...all dumb.

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tangerinegod · 4 years

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Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you!

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D.

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job!

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy!

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work.

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer..

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus!

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

#anon #ask #long post #im so so sorry this is like long as shit #ill literally tell you guys everything though art school should not feel like a mystery esp if ur planning to go into it!#Anonymous

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elisabeth-carrion · 3 years

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2020 was... a year. Tbh, 2019 was worse for me. Ive read my 2019 diary and i dont know how i managed, and in the end i was still optimistic. 2020 was supposed to be my year of spoiling myself and doing new things. Of course not everything went according to the plan.... but i managed to do a few things.

Lets see

This year i did two things i thought i would never, ever do. Like even last year, i didnt even consider it. 1. i got a tattoo. The idea came to me at the beginning of the year, the plan was to do it in spring, but then quarantine happened, then renovations, and in the end i had it done in september. Its a flower and i love it.

2. i left academia. last year i got accepted into phd program. It was a mess and in the end, i had enough. Ive stayed a few months longer for the scholarship money, and resigned. I am now academia free and enjoying my very frist study free christmas break. Im vibing

among other thing, there are: 3. i cut my hair. it was waist lenght and i cut it shoulder lenght. I dont know why it was such a huge deal for me, but it was. The hair grew back real fast and i had it cut again in november. I think im gonna keep it this way. Or shorter. I’ll see.

4. had my ears pierced. I had one set of earrings, now i have two. I bought a lot of earrings. I really like it. More jewerly is better jewelry.

5. discovered the band breaking benjamin, very nice

6. discovered the book captive prince. ive read it three times already. would recommend

7. made a candle out of what was left of other candles. easier than i thought, but putting dried flowers into it wasnt a good idea

8. made a hat. and then another hat. im kinda proud of them. didnt get to wear them outside yet tho

9. made a brooch. out of an old notebook cover and christmas decor. its kinda big. i dont mind

10. made a head band. this one needs some improvements tho

11. i thought online classes and im still alive. i prefer real life classes but i managed. i learned about teaching too, i hope i can improve my knowledge next year

12. renovated my kitchen! it was old and disgusting. now its nice and clean and pretty and i love it

13. started french, german and turkish on duolingo somewhere around march. im still doing it every day. kinda like it!

14. tried embroideiry. it was fine. i want to go to embroidery class after the plague is over

15. started taking my own outfit photos. i got a cheap tripod for it and it works!

16. honesly i didnt count it, but i did some writing. I didnt finish anything, but i wrote significantly more than in the past. I want to finish something next year

17. started using reusable pens again. sadly the ink doesnt really work on some of my cheap notebooks... it leaks. But i do when i can

18. expanded and cleared my wardrobe. I love every single dress i have. I cant believe i really do have a full wardrobe of pretty dresses! its a dream that came true

19. shaved my eyebrow. they grew back darker. now i have visible eyebrows for the first time in my life

20. got a resuable shaving blade. it looks baddas and i have so many razors they will last me a lifetime

21. met the google car! cant wait to see myself on google street view.

22. i learned kanji like crazy, im over 1700 now. Thats enough for the n2 exam, i will try to take it in december next year

23. renovated my room and rearranged the furniture. It is now the cute pink room i wanted for some time. I got a cute carpet and a vanity table. I feel like a princess and for the first time i feel that all my belongings are in order

24. started studying and doing tarot. i got cards for birthday and got really into it

25. assembled a diy tiny doll room. It was fun! its like puzzles but 3d. Its not perfect but i really enjoyed it

26. seen Laura Makabresku exhibition in Sosnowiec. It was nice.

27. Seen tour de pologne race. kinda randomly, i didnt plan to, but it was nice

28. went to a watercolor class. i really enjoyed it!

29. survived the plague so far

30. started counting calories again. in the past i did it to control, to restrict, and to punish. Now i just want to know

Ive tried new things. I wrote down every single one of them, even the tiniest: 1. kurtosz in both sweet and sour verson

2. Kitkat in the following tastes: melon, peanut butter, salt caramel, gold caramel, strwaberry, salty lemon

3. okonomiyaki

4. carrot kissiel

5. smoking . yes im doings some back to the teenage years things. it tasted like ashes. i still have some left i dont know what i will do with them

6. spring rolls /sajgonki

7. chinese take out fried pasta

8. dandelion and burdock tea

9. mushroom bun - a polish street food with pieczarrki

10. pancakes with juice instead of milk. kind of accidently but it is a thing

11. boiled corn

12. lavender lemonade

13. vegan subway

14. salty licorice

15. vegan sandwich from żabka

16. oyakata soy ramen

17. halvah wafffles

18. gingerbread twix

19. shampoo in a bar... like soap but its shampoo. very nice

20. tofubar

21. bora bora black tea that tastes like roses

22. chocolate coated ginger

23. flavored coffe: five flavour mix, marzepan, raspberry meringue

24. Visited a few new coffe shops and restaurants [sowa, we coffee, mont blanc, zicherka, pod prosiakiem, kaffka, zielona krowa, proper coffee, suzette, starbucks, coffee faza, pigal] and places [zamek sielecki, this one park that has no name but has rainbow lights]. It may seem insignificat but for me its a big deal to visit a new place even if its just a coffee shop.... and its stressful. so yes im proud of that

i must say that i changed. im not the same person anymore. ive grown, ive learned my wants and needs, i started giving myself what i want and what i need, and maybe even more importantly, ive stopped punishing myself. No more of that. I deserve everything and im gonna get it :)

#i hope the list next year is going to be longer!!!!!#with bigger dreams accomplished!!!!#elisabeth no hitokoto

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Milk Bread

Oikawa!Reader x Ushijima

a/n: bahahaha oikawa would literally disown yall though

anon request: Hiii if your request is still open could you also do an Oikawa's lil sis!Reader x Ushijima please~ fufufufu

ushijima and i could go get our own farm and have our own cows and horses and uggghhh

this entire,,,,, fiasco was an actual accident

it all started when you were so hungry that you ended up eating tooru’s milk bread

you were part of the girls track team in seijoh and competitions were starting soon so the team has been making practice mandatory during lunch as well

this caused you to only be able to survive off of snacks rather than your normal bento so you were blazing hungry when you got home

and when you are hungry, you go on a rampage

your brother was staying later practice so he wasnt home when you arrived

the fridge door almost unhinged and out the window by how roughly and quickly you opened it

the only thing in there was bottles of water and vegetables and you were not hungry enough to eat freaking raw onions

then you searched all over the cabinets for anything edible until you stumbled upon a clearly hidden milk bread

you guessed that tooru hid it bc he knew either you or takeru would eat it but heh, he didnt hide it good enough

finders keepers, right?

and as long as he doesnt find out it was you, itd be fine

you giddily opened the bag and ripped off a piece before smiling at how delicious it was

but this was cut short

you were so caught up in your happiness with the food that you missed iwa and tooru coming home until you heard your brother scream

‘Y/N-CHAN!’

your eyes flew open and you froze, mid-bite

his eyes were wide and his mouth was agape as he watched you scarf down the rest of the bag quickly before dashing upstairs

but tooru’s shout for iwa-chan made the buff guy snatch you from the hallway despite you kicking and screaming at him to let go of you

‘IWA-CHAN NO!!!!!’

you yelled but he just tightened his hold on you

‘i bought oikawa that bag, y/n’

you pouted then crossed your arms

‘you bought it for an oikawa, not a specific oikawa though’

so tooru ordered you to go to his favorite bakery, which was all the way out there like an hour away, and buy him a dozen bags of milk bread

‘TOORU YOURE GOING TO GET FAT!’

*offended oikawa*

‘I BURN ALL OF IT DURING PRACTICE ANYWAYS!’

‘hm, explains why you have no cake’

y/n stop thats so mean !!!!

but doorkawa though

so there you were, shoving all of the stock they have in the store into the big cart

if someone were to walk by you right now, theyd stare at the cart then at you weirdly for being a milk bread addiction

and thats exactly what happened

ushijima went to the bakery bc tendou won a bet and demanded a milk bread from this specific bakery

so he was entering the building, a single milk bread in mind, when he saw you, literally shoving all the bags down with an arm into the cart

he paused, like 5 feet away from you, just watching as you continued to take all the bags they had in stock into the cart

but he just wanted one bag so he went up to your cart and wordlessly took a bag which you saw and caught his arm

‘um, excuse me, what are you doing?’

he gave you a stoic face

‘i walked 30 minutes for this bag of milk bread. im sure you can leave one for someone else’

you were about to retort when you saw who this guy was

ofc if your brother was oikawa tooru, youd know his hatred for the apparent ‘farmer idiot’ ushijima wakatoshi from shiratorizawa

the familiar eyes and the furrowed eyebrows

yep, this had to be him

‘you,,,, ushiwaka’

he nodded

‘yes. now if you’ll excuse me, ill be going’

but you again held him back

‘ushijima-san! take this-all of this! i dont need it anymore!’

you pushed the cart in his direction before bolting out the store in a hurry

now ushijima is known to predict almost anything that came his way

but never has he even THOUGHT that a girl would give him a cart filled with nearly 50 bags of milk bread

the store lady pushed the cart to the cashier and only did he finally snapped out of it when she told him the total

‘oh, um, you forgot this bag too’

what was he going to do with all of this bread?

you pedaled your bike home and when tooru saw you empty handed, he started shouting

but you just faked a pout

‘ushijima wakatoshi-san took it from me’

his ears turned red

and all he could see was red

i see RED! rED! ooOOhH rED!!!!

he got his phone out and dialed a number before shouting into it

‘YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS, IWA-CHAN! USHIWAKA-!’

ngl, you didnt really think that he would completely forget about it but he fell for it

you planned to use tooru’s hatred for him and just a single utter of his name could completely brainwash him from the milk bread stealing situation

‘MAYBE HES GOING TO BUY ALL THE MILK BREAD IN THE WORLD UNTIL I GO TO THE DAMN SHIRATORIZAWA! WHAT IF HES DOING THAT?! IWA-CHAN-!’

the entire situation completely slipped your mind a few weeks later and you even forgot that you met ushijima and left him a cart of the treats

but that was quickly remembered

similar to your brother, there was one day per week where you have no track practice so you found yourself in their gym at wednesday, just waiting for iwa and tooru to finish practice

you were just busy doing your homework and trying to help kyoken with all of his missed work when kindaichi shrieked from the side

‘ushijima wakatoshi!’

JAPONN

at the mention of his name, everyone turned to him and followed his line of sight where indeed, the tall farmer boy stood at the door

oikawa tooru was so shocked to see him and his nerve to show up at HIS TURF that he didnt say anything

‘hello. is oikawa y/n here?’

then all hell broke lose

tooru was screaming at you in betrayal

iwa was shouting and hitting oikawa to stop and holding him back from lunging at you

the others were yelling at how you knew this famous player

while kyoken just sitting there all chill

‘you know that guy?’

‘uh-well-kinda?’

‘nice’

you quickly packed up your stuff, confused and surprised, before bolting down the bleachers to the door where you grabbed ushiwaka’s hand to drag him away from the gym where tooru couldnt find you

you finally stopped by an alleyway about a street away from school and turned to him with scrunched eyebrows

‘ushijima wakatoshi-san! what are you doing here?!’

you whisper-yelled

but he just unzipped his gym bag and handed you a bag of milk bread

you were so caught off guard that you just held it on your hands and stared at it

ushijima noticed your expression and pointed at the food

‘i have a lot of it at home. i figured you wanted one’

you slowly looked up at him

‘ushijima-san,,,,, i,,, why-’

‘you seem to like milk bread seeing your cart full of it. i thought you still wanted one and i need to get rid of all of it anyways’

‘but,,,, you shouldnt have come all the way to seijoh! nii-chan-’

then you stopped

wait, hold on

how did he even know your name

‘how do you know my name, ushijima-san?’

he blinked

‘youre a known track runner in the prefecture in both the girls and boys. a friend of mine wanted to recruit you for the school team but you turned it down’

you paused and chuckled

‘ah of course. i actually wanted to go but nii-chan considered it a betrayal so i couldnt go’

‘but you should’ve come to-’

‘SHUT UP USHIJIMA! AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER!’

tooru’s figure was panting a little bit away from behind ushijima and he was pointing at him heatedly

you sighed and face-palmed but you flinched when ushijima placed an arm around your shoulders and held you close

‘she has talents that could take her to far places. i understand that she refused it but you might have greatly influenced that decision and never asked her opinion about it. im here to ask her to re-think this decision and join us instead’

‘YOURE NOT EVEN IN THE TRACK TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE!’

tooru raged and ran forward before grabbing your arm roughly to pry you away from the dirty touch of ushiwaka

‘we’re leaving, ushijima. and you better not talk to my little sister again’

he hissed and dragged you away but you turned your head and raised a hand

‘later, ushijima-san!’

‘SHUT UP Y/N!’

after that, ushijima knew to approach you in secret

you saw him by the gates after practice and you hurriedly hid him away from sight bc the moment someone saw that familiar purple jacket, theyd know immediately

‘ushijima-san! what do you want now?’

you whispered and again, he reached into his bag to give you a bag of milk bread

‘i need to get rid of them. and i also want to hear your opinions about joining shiratorizawa next year’

you laughed, softly clutching the bag

‘in truth, the bread was for nii-chan. and regarding next year, i dont think im leaving seijoh, ushijima-san, so sorry’

he nodded

‘i understand. but i do hope you will think about it, oikawa-san’

you cringed at the formality coming from someone as important as him

‘please, call me y/n. it sounds really weird from you’

‘okay, y/n-san’

‘no, just y/n’

‘y/n’

‘good’

then these meetings turned to another, then twice more, then everyday

it was becoming a routine at this point

track practice ended at 6, about 30 minutes before the seijoh volley so you could easily slip away from tooru, and ushi’s ended around 5 so he was able to meet you at the alley by your school

tbh, you didnt understand how you were meeting as such a shady place and you didnt understand why he would take such a long trip just to give you milk bread and ask you about the school

however, that soon changed

soon, you just talked about school and life in general while munching on food

he would occassionally talk about this first year goshiki and some setter shirabu and how they fought constantly

you knew a little bit of his best friend tendou and his dorm life back in shiratorizawa

he knew that you weren’t exactly in track for fun, but for scholarships since you werent exactly smart

part of you wondered if he used the dozens of milk bread in his house as an excuse to see you and make you eat them as compensation when he couldve just sent them back

yet eventually,

your conversations helped you know a little bit of each other without the title of fastest runner oikawa y/n or u-19 japan ushijima wakatoshi

‘tori accidentally broke a hurdle and sprained her knee so she had to sit out during practice. it was a mess because she was screaming about the pain and caused practice to end early’

you whined while chewing

he remained quiet so you turned to look at him, who was just staring at you

‘ushijima-san? you okay?’

‘waka,, toshi. call me wakatoshi’

you tilted your head to the side

‘i,, i can’t call you that, ushijima-san’

‘please, call me that. we’re friends, right?’

a genuine laugh escaped from you

‘oh dear. i mean, yeah, we’re friends, i guess. but nii-chan would not appreciate this friendship’

‘but doesn’t he like you having friends?’

he was confused as to why tooru’s even in the conversation

‘no, ushijima-san. i meant, he would not like me being friends with you’

‘why does he have a say in this?’

you paused

he was right

why did tooru’s opinion matter?

why did it matter so much that you’ve been hiding in this stinky alleyway with ushijima wakatoshi for a few weeks all because you were scared someone you knew saw you?

‘wakatoshi-san, do you have a brother?’

‘no’

‘hm, makes sense’

you laughed then looked away, straight at the dumpster that stood behind him a few feet away

‘my parents,,, are always working. even when i was young, they were constantly working so i dont really have good memories with them since they were rarely home. my sister, she was already in high school when i was born so the only person i really had was my nii-chan’

ushijima’s stare on you never wavered as he remained looking at you, inspecting you almost, the way your nose curved or your lips looked a little chapped or that crumb that stuck itself on the corner of your lip

‘he has always done everything for me,, in a way, he raised me and i appreciate everything hes done for me, yknow? and i want to repay him for all of that but im sorry to say this, but he doesnt exactly like you, wakatoshi-san. and me being friends with you, him not even knowing we’re meeting up like this, he would get very angry with me. and i dont to disappoint him’

you looked down at the remaining bread and softly sighed

it annoyed you a little that you cared so much for what tooru thought

why couldnt you live your life?

why couldn’t you just be your own person and meet people that you like?

‘we have only have 3 bags of milk bread left’

ushijima’s comment took you aback bc its not like you just told him something so personal or anything

‘huh?’

‘i need to buy some more’

you shook your head and waved your hands around

‘wakatoshi-san, i just told you, like, something really personal-’

‘but i dont care about all that though’

he blinked, confused as to why it mattered to him

‘what-’

‘y/n, havent you noticed that you’ve been calling me by my first name?’

his question made you stop and realize that you were saying wakatoshi

‘oikawa tooru is simply a person who helped raise you, he didnt make you nor does he have control over you. your life was given to you to live and create, not to be molded or shaped by someone else’

you nodded and patted his arm in appreciation, still awkward about having interactions with the guy

but he reached behind you and patted your back, averting his gaze forward

‘you have talent in track so i think you should keep running for a team that shares your skills. like your brother’s talents deserve to be played in a team full of undefeatable players’

you chuckled and shot him a confused glance

‘wakatoshi-san, youre over here telling me to do what i want yet youre telling me to do something else’

he seemed completely innocent to his hypocritical statement as he just looked at you

‘im just influencing you. theres a difference’

you shook your head and continued eating your bread, throwing the entire topic behind your mind

‘youre right, wakatoshi-san. we do need to buy some more milk bread’

little by little, you started to stray away from your brother

like you started coming home late and your wednesdays were now booked up with someone else

ofc he noticed and he went straight to iwa-chan to complain about it

by the second wednesday, he got fed up and actually cancelled practice which caused iwa to beat him up for stopping practice for something stupid

‘let your sister be, shittykawa!’

tooru pouted and rubbed the now sore spot on his head

‘somethings wrong, iwa-chan! i can sense it! shes hiding something and if its kept from me, of course i want to know!’

this led iwa to be dragged along with him as he followed you walking to somewhere

he remembered you getting flustered and smiling at him when you refused his offer to get ramen after practice with the guys

‘i have plans, sorry, nii-chan’

this caused oikawa to be very sus bc no tea, but he knows you dont hang out w other people outside school

so this led him to stalking you instead of talking and asking you like a normal adult

iwa was also there bc he lowkey sus and worried for your safety if oikawa does decide to lunge at your boyfriend

the two boys were huddled behind a car as you were just walking cheerfully, skipping every step

‘iwa-chan, she doesnt have a boyfriend, right?’

‘shes pretty and kind, it would be hard to believe she doesnt have one’

but as they continued to follow you, they started getting confused as to why you were walking in such an unfamiliar neighborhood

this wasnt exactly their turf and when they noticed a familiar looking uniform a boy was wearing as he walked down the street, oikawa almost busted a blood vessel

aw look at him tremble-

‘what in the ever-loving god of anime is she doing in shiratorizawa!’

he whisper-yelled

‘iwa-chan! is she transferring there?!’

‘shittykawa shut the hell up!’

you heard a familiar voice behind you and quickly turned around but saw nothing

you swear you heard hajime’s voice

but it couldve been just your imagination since you’ve heard him call that for nearly 6 years

you continued walking forward and you jumped to wave when you saw ushijima leaning against the school gates

‘wakatoshi-san!’

you greeted and he nodded, acknowledging your presence

‘y/n, you were late’

you giggled

‘why? did you miss me wakatoshi-san?’

‘hm, yes. the milk bread bakery is going to close in 15 minutes’

he said and held out his hand which you gladly accepted

tooru was basically strangling iwa by how he was so ANGY that his little baby sister was fraternizing with the enemy!!!

back on you though!!!

you still blushed when you held his hand but you knew there was nothing about it bc you ltr almost got ran over once

so basically,

you were finally opening up to going out in public w him as long as it was far away

and he suggested going to some ramen shop that they frequent at for some food

you were just walking side by side and humming a tune when you were interrupted by a loud honk that freaked you out and freeze

but ushijima, being a volleyball player and developing quick instincts, grabbed your shoulders and pushed you both to the side, away from the car

youve never had that experience before so you were quite freaked out and you were just hanging on to his jacket for dear life, hiding your face in it

he sensed your panic and placed a hand on top of your head to provide some comfort

‘its okay, y/n. dont worry bc ill always be there to protect you’

you turned red at that statement but ushijima was known to be very naive and he didnt understand that underlying suggestion in his words

‘thank you, wakatoshi-san’

you mumbled and he gently pried you away but he held your hand

‘this will allow me to pull you quicker and to make sure you dont wander too far’

you pouted

‘hmph, im not a child, wakatoshi-san’

he smiled, surprising you bc wowza was he showing emotions?

‘you need to be taken cared of, do you not? no matter what age, ill still look out for you’

to this day, he still kept your hand on his grip and your heart kept beating really fast

all these hangouts were really showing you the real ushijima wakatoshi that was so different from the court and you really liked it

from the strong and cold and cruel player to the awkward, funny, and naive schoolboy

he was an enigma and you were attracted to the remaining iceberg that maintained being hidden under the waters of his physical appearance

focusing on something else, you were tugging him along excitedly bc you forgot your bento at home today and you STARVED

‘lets get sweets!’

you cheered excitedly and with his hand still laced into yours, he looped it around your shoulders so he pulled you closer

‘semi told me he does this to his girlfriend when she gets too hyper’

um, sire, where did that come from?

from oikawa’s spot, he was starting to get hurt by how harshly he dug his fingernails in his palms while iwa was getting angry at how carelessly this farmer was handling his sister

but you werent bothered by his weird oblivious comments

‘im very hungry so we must hurry, wakatoshi-san!’

‘yes, yes’

unbeknownst to you, he kept looking down to observe your faces

when you would see a store, your eyes would widen and youd mumble about wanting to go there sometimes

when you saw a baby in a stroller, youd coo and unintentionally squeeze his hand

it was cute

and it made his heart jump every time

today was no different occasion

and he was finally able to put a pin into this weird action from his organ

lmao im so tired bruh im cackling as i type

earlier today during practice, he felt that jump when you whined to him about leaving your bento at home and expressing your excitement to get some food

that jump returned and he was so focused on texting you that he didnt notice his teammates watching him in shock

tendou even started hitting semi, confused and flabbergasted

‘ushijima-san,,,’

goshiki started but shirabu smacked him to be quiet

‘oh, i might not come to practice on friday since im going to the doctor’

the mention of the doctor, everyone freaked out bc they cant have their prized player injured or hurt

‘what,, whats wrong?’

semi asked and ushijima finally locked up his phone

‘im having weird random jumps in my chest and slight tickles in my stomach. google told me to go to the doctor if it persists so i made an appointment’

they all sweatdropped

goshiki uwu babie was biting his lip to stop himself from sobbing and thinking his senpai and rival was having an illness

but semi and tendou knew whats up

‘wakatoshi-kun, who were you texting?’

they all noticed the slight widening of his eyes and the sprinkle of light that shined through

‘oh, oikawa y/n. we’re friends now’

everyone shared a look bc he didnt really have friends outside the team and didnt bother himself with unnecessary relationships like these

‘oh god’

tendou mumbled and his grin widened

‘i,,im no doctor, ushijima-san, but i think youre experiencing the symptoms of a crush’

shirabu was basically the smartest than the others combined so when he said something like that, they believed him immediately

‘crush?’

ushijima wondered

‘dont tell me you dont know what that is’

goshiki muttered in disbelief

‘im familiar with the definition of the attraction to another person. but ive never experienced it myself’

yall why am i writing him to talk like this

‘youve been so busy with volleyball your entire life that you probably havent had time to actually admire the girls we have in school’

tendou reasoned so ushijima went to go wait for you by the gates and observed the females that passed by

nope, they all didnt strike him for anything

he just gave up until he saw you waving for him all enthusiastically and there it was

a simple glance at your smile and it leapt

it only got worse when you giggled and he clenched his fist to keep his heart from leaping out of his chest

the entire time, he felt it, especially holding your hand

to really be honest, he only did that after what happened and his mother used to do that to him to protect him from other cars

now that he had someone to protect, he was doing the same thing

you clearly didnt mind and just swung your hands along the entire time

eventually, yall arrived

the lady at the front was now accustomed by your appearances and she waved at you

‘hello ushijima-kun! oikawa-chan!’

you greeted her happily while ushi just nodded at her

your brother and his best friend decided it was best to stand outside to not garner suspicion ltr yall are stalking and everyone knows since the bell rang whenever it was opened

tooru felt his heart clench at the thought of you being on a date with this,,, !!!! farmer boy!!!!

the sister complex in this one is quite strong

it got even worse when he saw your giggling form and ushijima holding you close with your shoulders

next thing he knew, he entered the bakery and ripped you away from him

ofc you were surprised bc wtf why was here?

‘NII-CHAN?!’

‘oh, hello, oikawa’

^^ 2 types of people

‘didnt you hear me when i told you to stay away from my sister?’

he seethed

‘yes, i heard you. but i dont care’

‘wakatoshi-san!’

you whisper-yelled bc his answer clearly made your brother angrier

‘well, i need you to start caring bc you are not welcome to be a part of our family! i will never accept you as my brother-in-law! i will never visit! you hear me?!’

your eyebrows furrowed and you flushed in embarrassment

‘NII-CHAN! WE’RE JUST FRIENDS! WHAT ARE YOU SPOUTING ABOUT?! AND WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME?!’

he didnt bother to hear you and started dragging you by the arm

but you wrenched out of his grip and ran to ushijima, who held you close

‘hes my friend, nii-chan. i dont care if you dont like him but hes nice to me and he hasnt given me any reason to not be friends. now try to be a grown-up for just a few minutes and leave me alone so i can go hang out with my friend and you go back home with iwa-chan’

you firmly stated, glaring at him and tooru felt sad at this entire thing

were you growing up?

despite only being a year younger, you were always that ran to him for everything bc you looked up to him so much

but now, you were refusing and becoming your own person

you were still his baby sister but now, you were a grown woman who could make her own choices

and he had no choice but to accept that

‘okay. but come back home soon, okay, y/n?’

tooru’s quiet voice made your expression fall and you made a move to go to him but he already made his exit

‘nii-chan,,,’

you mumbled but ushijima placed an arm around your shoulders

‘you can go to him, y/n. we can-’

‘no. im,,, happy that he finally realized it. so lets continue’

you smiled up at him and he nodded, going back to looking through the cupcakes

‘how do you think hed take it if he finds out i like his sister?’

he off-handedly asks to no one but you heard and jumped

okay, you were used to his random comments and questions but this one had to be the one that took you aback the most

‘H-HAH?!’

but he doesnt seem bothered

‘my teammates told me that i have a crush on you so if i were to act on that feeling, would you accept me?’

your eyes flittered everywhere and you grabbed him by the shoulders and leaned him down to his level

‘ar-are you seriously confessing to me right now?’

he shrugged, so nonchalant

‘yes. before getting your brother’s approval, i should get yours first. will you let me be yours, oikawa y/n-san?’

your face scrunched up and you nodded, pulling him in for a hug

‘i like you a lot, ushijima-san. like a lot’

he softly smiled and buried his neck in your neck

‘i noticed when you didnt care about your brother’s dislike towards me’

‘yanno, for someone who is so against us together, hes the reason we even met in the first place’

he pulled away and looked at you

‘really?’

‘yep. i told you this, didnt i? i came for milk bread yet left with a boyfriend’

‘over a span of a few months’

you rolled your eyes but still laughed

‘yes, a few months and nearly a hundred bags of milk bread later’

the old lady was watching the whole thing and only made her presence obvious when she squealed

‘OH YOUNG LOVE! GET ANYTHING YOU WANT TODAY, DEARIES! WE SHALL CELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF NEW LOVE AND FOR MANY MORE!’

you and ushijima shared a look before busting out laughing, you freezing when you heard his chuckles

he noticed your stare at him and he asked you whats wrong

you shook your head before grinning

‘im already already looking forward to falling in love with you. so make me fall really hard, okay?’

you just unlocked blushy and flustered ushijima wakatoshi

when you went home that night with bags full of milk bread, your brother practically forgave you

but you accidentally blurted out of your new official relationship and you knew what he did?

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if i was gone for 2 days bc selling sunset came season 3 came out on friday !!!! but heres an update and i might post another later bc tomorrow’s my first day of school and id be too busy to update but id probably update in wednesday so feast on these in the meantime!!!!!!

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