#and now he is helpless and unheard

[ceratedfish24]

I don’t usually care that much about Flower Ranchers, but I do enjoy some Scott-centric Flower Ranchers. People seem to forget that Scott was widowed and abandoned and no one ever comforted him or apologized to him, and Jimmy moved on like it never happened to begin with. If Scott joins the Ranchers’ relationship, it won’t be without PTSD or, at the very least, abandonment issues.

He’s going to overthink every little thing.

He’s going to think that he’s not an equal part of their relationship.

He’s going to think that he is lucky to be in their lives without ever considering that they might think themselves to be the lucky ones to have him.

He’s going to think that it would be wrong for him to sleep in the middle of the bed.

He’s going to think it would be intrusive of him to sit between them on the couch.

He’s going to think it would be rude for him not to always be the one to clear the table after dinner and clean the house during his spare time.

He’s going to avoid being in relationship pictures.

He’s going to avoid participating in banter, because it might not sound right coming from the person new to the relationship.

He’s going to avoid asking for affection.

He’s going to feel like an add-on.

He’s going to feel like he doesn’t contribute enough.

He’s going to feel like he’s overstepping if he asks if they can go to a restaurant he’s had in mind.

He’s going to feel like an intruder in a relationship that was just fine before he was around, because he clearly wasn’t wanted last time and he doesn’t know what it was that he did wrong.

He’s going to feel like, if he asks for anything at all, if he is too loud, if he is too needy, if he is too bold, if he is too lazy, if he takes up space, if he costs too much, if he is ever an inconvenience, they’ll leave him without a word. And he has good reason to!! One of them did that to him and refused to say that he loved him and they never reconciled about it!!!

Scott would 100% treat their relationship more like a job he bullshitted the application for rather than like a relationship.

[drgnflyteabox]

the lusty cabin-dweller

pairing: ghost / Simon riley x fem reader summary: your life gets wider when you find an injured man outside of your cabin. tags/warnings: Skyrim!ghost, secrets, graphic injuries, some angst, facial injuries, nursing Simon back to health one stew at a time <3, listen to this for the vibes, vaginal + anal sex, oral (f), animal attacks, blood, processing an animal for meat and fur, violence, death (non-major), mention of Skyrim racism, softdom!Simon, some backstory, please hmu if i forgot anything, one bed trope, simon backstory adapted to skyrim lol (so past abuse, murder, theft, domstic violence) but nothing graphic w.c: 5k

Honey-nut is squealing again. Some days you think she might not be worth the milk and cheese she gives you for all the trouble she causes. A high, strange bleating cuts through the chilled night air like a knife, sharp and terrifying only for a moment.

She's been at this since Frostfall. Maybe it was the weather causing Honey-nut distress - she was getting old, after all. For a goat.

In the time it takes you to trudge out of bed, pull on a wool shift and a fur, two things happen: one, Honey-nut stops bleating, and the woods surrounding your cottage becomes deathly silent.

Two, a crunch.

Just one, but it's enough. Someone is outside.

For a brief, hysterical moment, you worry for Honey-nuts safety. Have they hurt her to be quiet? No, you'd have heard that at least. Your breath comes fast, chest squeezing. Bandits? Probably not. It's a decent hike up to your wooden cottage. But it is nearing winter, and soon it will be Sun's Dusk. It's not unheard of that they'd be looking for a place to take over for the colder months.

Your hand goes to your heart, fingertips touching your throat. Be calm, you tell yourself. You aren't helpless, look. The axe, leaning by your front door. You can see in the dark well enough, and you're more familiar with your homestead than they are.

The axe feels right in your hands. Too-familiar, weighty, deadly. You touch your ear to the door, trying to reign in your fear. Nothing. Then, a wheeze, strangled and restrained like whoever it is can't afford to be heard. But you have heard it, and you push the door open.

"Show yourself!" You shout, voice surer than you feel. Your knees quake a little, but your grip on the axe is strong.

The animal pen is a mere few steps away from your front door. Past the front garden, it's wide open aside from the little shelter you built the past Mid Year. A foot sticks out, clad in armor.

"I'm armed," you add. "You're not getting anything from me!" The world is dark, the woods quiet. Adrenaline burns in you, bright enough to guide your steps.

"You gonna kill me with that, girl?"

Gruff voice, like scraping rocks. Coming into view, you see that this man poses no threat. He's half dead, slumped and pale, clutching his side.

"Who are you? What's your business here?" The axe is a deterrent, now. Just for show. You hold it above him, but nearly drop it when you see his face. It's sliced right through the middle, from his forehead to his jaw. "Oh, gods-"

"Mind yourself with that," his eyes flit to the axe. "Or put me out of my misery now."

Your shoulders dip down, lowering your weapon. Guilt crawls into your belly and settles there when you notice that yes- his feet are armored, but the rest of him is dressed in miners attire. White, coal-dusted shirt. Workman's pants, tucked into woolen calf wraps. God, he must be freezing. Maybe that's saved his life, staunched the bloodflow. It's tacky on him, not shining wet like you expected.

"What's happened to you?" You cringe at the sound of your voice. It's gone from fierce defensiveness to cloying concern, staring only at the blood staining his skin.

He breathes hard, staring at you a moment. It's hard to tell what he's thinking, what he's feeling. Outside of obvious pain. Leaves around you shiver in the breeze, a light snow beginning to fall when he finally speaks.

"Bandits," he grunts. "An ambush." Every word is a fight, a wheeze. Empathy drives away caution and you drop your weapon in favour of kneeling beside him.

"Come on, then. Let me help you," lifting him is a monumental task, even with him helping. He's as big as horse, thick as one too. Legs like tree trucks that hold him up just barely, feet sliding weakly on the uneven ground.

Looking back, Honey-nut watches you bring him through the doorway with a judgmental twinkle in her eye. Maybe it's time for goatherd pie.

///

Your bed is too small. His feet hang off comically, and the wood creaks under his weight. It'll have to do. Your mother would have beaten you black and blue for this - for inviting a stranger in, for settling him in your bed without so much as a what’s your name? But you know how to stitch and turning away someone in as bad a shape as he is would weigh on your conscience.

You light the sconces along the wall, and then a lantern to keep by his bedside. Warm, orange light fills the cottage, flickering every so often, inspiring calm.

"I'm no healer," you warn him. "Nor an alchemist." It’s not necessarily a lie. You had done a brief stint as a volunteer for the temple of Kynareth, lending your hands and your time to help nurse wounded soldiers. There had been supervision then, though. Guidance.

"I’m shit out of luck for choices, sweetheart,” his facial wound leaks a little when he speaks, blood running down the side of his face in thin rivulets. The wound at his side, however, is what worries you the most.

“Let me,” you murmur. Your fingers find the edge of his shirt, pulling them out of his pants, and up, up, gently. Looking him in the eye, watching his pain win over his weariness.

Another gash, swaddled in cloth wrapped sloppily around his middle. Without moving him you have to cut them off, slicing off his shirt at the same time. This one bleeds sluggishly, skin shredded, like he’d been dragged over coarse rock.

He words slur, energy leaving him. Mumbles under his breath things you can’t make out, and don’t try to. You’re busy rinsing, cleaning, and patting his ribs dry. Tensing every so often, he breathes hard through his nose to offset the pain. Mumbles some more, hands making fists.

It’s bad, but he’ll live. Exhaustion might trump over all, anyhow, what with how his eyelids have begun closing. Through the slit of them his eyes are pale, like sunlight through deep blue ice. Blonde lashes, stark against the dirt and coal smearing his skin.

You work in silence, letting him sleep through this one so he’ll hopefully be unconscious for the work you have yet to do on his face.

“Who did this?” You whisper to no one. You’re a breeze in the night, alone, hunched over this man and wiping his face with a cloth.

Clear of blood and grime, you gather a sewing needle and dip it into the lantern flame. Stitching is easy, but on his face? You falter a moment, worried, until you think of how proud men often are of their scars. Boasting battles won and creatures slain.

It’s that thought that pushes you through to the end, weaving the needle through until he's sewn and clean of blood.

///

Sweat and iron. The smell of it, sharp and salty, sea foam and earth, is the first thing you're aware of.

Then, the light of morning. Pale, almost white, invading through the windows in rays. A chill. Your eyes open with a not insignificant amount of effort, back twinging in different places as you become aware of the world again.

"Awake?" You startle, jerking up. It's the man from the night before, laying as he was, a little curled against the pain and big as an ox. "W's startin' t'think you'd sleep all day."

"It's morning, is it not?" You're not used to talking this early - or at all. "How's the- how are you feeling?"

He grunts, shuffling. His wrapped side has some blood peeking through, little spots of leakage, not enough to lose your head over. His face has swelled some overnight though, and you're awake enough now to hear the muffled quality to his voice. Part of the cut pulls his upper lip tightly. You wince.

"Just wait. I have something for the," you pause, crossing your space on stiff legs to find the bookshelf. Clay pots, glass bottles, books. Ah, here it is. "For the pain." It's some elixir. Purchased the last time you'd made the trek to Markarth from Muiri, the alchemists apprentice. It brings forth a distant memory of pain, of twisting your ankle running after Honey-nut.

Your ankle hadn't quite healed right, but this was good for when winter came and stiffness made the pain worse again.

He eyes you wearily as you approach. Suspiciously. As if you haven't been helping him out of the kindness of your heart…

"This will help," a promise.

"Don't need'it." He slurs, then cringes as it pulls his lip again.

"You'll recover faster if you're in less pain."

In the end he acquiesces, if not just to take the edge of the purpling that's beginning to show on the edges of his bandage. Broken ribs, maybe?

///

Chores need to be done whether or not there's an obstinate patient in your bed. Honey-nut needs to be milked, and she fights you every step of the way. You discover her pen open from last night and sigh with relief that she's still there.

The chickens have laid eggs for you, and you collect them diligently in your apron. Then, the garden. And finally a sweep of your traps in the woods.

Just one rabbit, but it's enough. You hope the man likes stew, and that his swelling goes down enough for him to tell you his name.

///

He tells you his name is Ghost. Strange, but you've heard stranger. Maybe he's a follower of Namira, you wonder not without an inkling of apprehension. Ghost is quiet, even as he heals. After you'd made yourself a straw bed on the other side of the cabin, you'd wake to him sitting up and stretching. Testing himself. Always silent.

The exhaustion was the worst of it. One nearly empty bottle of elixir later, the swelling on his face has gone down significantly. His ribs sore but on the mend. It was sleep that he needed, and lots of it.

Days passed like this. Switching bandages, wiping and cleaning, cooking enough stew for two. Nearly a week until he was up and about insisting to help around the cottage.

"No need," you tried to gently push him back into the warmth of the open door. He was too big, and having none of it. "You'll be better in no time."

He was just so tall. Were he to stand still at your doorway, half his face would be covered by the top of it. Despite his condition, you could tell that your initial comparison to a horse was completely on the nose. Stocky as a boar, arms thick as mammoth tusks. Hairy like blonde wheat shining in the sun. You'd noticed as much, watching him rest, watching his eyelashes flutter on his cheeks as he dreamt.

///

Ghost works like you're paying him in gold. He sweats, arms swinging down over and over again above the chopping block. There's enough wood to last three winters now - maybe four. Every job he takes is finished to excess. Your roof has never looked better, re-thatched in rotting places and swept clear of mildew. The old wood fence in your garden? Replaced.

Honey-nut finds her new favourite person when he dismantles what he calls shoddy work, and rebuilds her a shelter twice as big. The chickens are still weary, but enjoy receiving the kitchen scraps he tosses.

"There's really no need for all this," you insist again, because he's come back this afternoon with an elk on his back.

"Didn't need to fix me up, either, did'ya?"

You break it down together. Ghost does the harder part, while you take cuts of meat to dry for jerky. The rest will go into a venison casserole, with juniper berries.

"Hey- Ghost?" You call. He's skinning the rest of it for furs. "I'm off to gather some berries for dinner."

A nod, and you're off.

Your basket is old, woven, carried once by your mother and now you. Silly, but special all the same. It's stained with many years of berry collecting, many years of winter nights spent tucking into fruity crostatas or summers full of juniper mead.

The hills are rife with the low, rough trees. They grow like weeds here in the Reach, mountain pocked with patches of light green and little blue berries. Once, as a child, you'd made the mistake of eating one straight off the branch. Bitter as burnt coffee, it was lesson you'd learned through tears of laughter with your mother. A happy memory.

Does Ghost have a family? You wonder again about him, about why a man like that is wasting his time mining. He could've climbed the ranks as an imperial and been a General or - divines forbid - a stormcloak. You prayed he wasn't so craven as to follow Ulfric and his band of Nord supremacists.

It's this distraction that leads you right into the waiting jaws of a sabre cat. Quick and silent, it reminds you of your patient for an absurd moment before you're tripping backwards, basket full of berries scattered and forgotten. Your hip makes contact with the ground hard, pain lancing through your joint like a spear.

Fuck, how could you be so stupid? This was a mountain, leagues away from the nearest town. Sabres, bears, wolves. You'd always, always used awareness as a first precaution. Sight, sounds, keeping your ears tuned to the slightest crack in a twig. If not, there was the bow and arrow stowed away under your bed.

Now, you were caught unawares. Muscles under it's fur rippled, a low growl in it's barrel chest, creeping toward you. Adrenaline burned through you like a fever, hot and electric all at once, freezing you in place by the weight of your heart in your stomach.

Stendarr's mercy, dying from an animal attack after living years on the craggy peaks of the mountains, avoiding ambushes and robberies. Living on goats cheese and chicken eggs, nothing yet achieved. What a waste. Miserable, hopeless tears prick at your eyes. Your breath leaves you in quick, desperate puffs. Running wasn't an option - it would only encourage the sabre. Sovngarde, here you come-

"Aaarghgh aaaaa!" A roar. Loud, ringing in your ears, as fierce as a cave bear. It's Ghost, jumping through the brush towards you with his arms above his head. "Bugger off!" He's screaming loud, voice cracking a little, the stitches at his lip tearing just enough for droplets of blood to fall.

"I'll put you down!" It's nonsense, but it's loud, and he's massive. Taller than the sabre even if it stood on two legs. When he reaches you, he steps in front of you. Shields you.

The face-off is likely less than a few minutes, but it feels like time moves as slow as honey. Ghost faces of the sabre, screaming like a madman, beating his chest and waving his arms. It creeps backward, hissing and fighting, but is cowed by his stance and size.

When it's disappeared through the maze of juniper trees, he turns to you. Extends a palm rough like bark.

"How long have you lived here, again?" His voice grates as usual, made worse by his shouting.

Your face heats in embarrassment. "A few years. I'm not usually so distracted," you dust your dress, patting yourself. Twigs and dirt fall from the wool. "I swear. I got lost picking berries."

He snorts, like you're stupid. You feel stupid.

The basket is half empty when you call it quits, tired from fear. Ghost is hunched beside you, holding his ribs again, rubbing his lip almost compulsively.

"Stop that, you'll get a thicker scar," you reach for his elbow.

"Don't care much about that, love," he shrugs your hand away.

Dinner is made in silence. It's a miracle you have the energy, but while you're physically drained your mind is running in circles. You watch with concern as he sits gingerly back on the bed. The pain in your hip pulses with sympathy, pulsing heat travelling down your leg and up your back.

"Need me to take a look at anything?" Besides his obvious discomfort, you'll have to fix his face back up. You'd prefer for him to be in a welcoming mood.

"I can handle it," Mr Stoic over here. "Did'ya take a fall?"

You drop dried frost mirriam into chopped, boiled potatoes. Then a pad of butter.

"Yes, but I'm alright," the cream sauce comes together, ladled over the venison. You're out of eidar cheese, but Honey-nuts goat cheese crumbled over everything is perfectly fine. Ghost eats like a furnace taking coal, anyhow.

"Let me see," he's up close. Again, you've been taken unawares. A sharp inhale like a gasp, heart beat picking up, breathing in the smell of him. It's gone from bloody to pine, to earth, to fresh wood. His hands find your hip and you hiss, trying to jerk away. In doing so you press your side into his chest, curled close, warm not just from the fire. "It's alright, sweet girl." He murmurs into the top of your head.

This tenderness is new. His fingers are as gentle as you've seen them in the last few weeks, pulling up the thick skirts of your dress and assessing the tender skin. It's a little hot to the touch, painful. The rough pad of his thumb brushes against you softly, making you whine.

His lips brush your hair, not quite kissing you, but affectionate nonetheless. You're close enough to see his throat bob when he swallows.

"Just a bump, huh, sweet girl?" He takes over, mashing the potatoes, setting out plates at your little wooden table, guiding you by your lower back.

You eat in relative silence, thighs brushing, a tension bubbling to the surface like stew on the fire. He spares you a few glances between bites, still wincing whenever he has to bend down.

"I'll take a look at that again before bed," you speak through a mouthful of creamy venison.

Sure enough, he's reopened some of his stitches. Not worst case scenario, but you spend a few minutes hunched over and bandaging him up again. He stares at you intently, eyes so clear and focused you wish he wouldn't. It makes your hand shake.

Moving to get up and back to your straw bed, his arm shoots out as quick as an arrow and takes your wrist in his hand. His stare is the same, squinting at you like he's waiting for you to confess something. Like he's waiting for you to give in.

"You're not sleeping on the floor," he says, sure, chest puffed. "Not with your hip. Come on now, come lay down." Gently, he tugs you down. Protests make it to the tip of your tongue and nowhere else, not with the promise of a mattress on your sore muscles and screaming hip.

It's too small though, much too small. Already he was hanging off, shoulders taking up the entire width. You curl forward, on your good side, facing away from him and into the dark. The cabin is still warm from cooking dinner.

His breath puffs on the back of your neck, hand finding your arm and stroking up and down. Soothing you. He curls around you, following the natural bend of your body.

"Simon," he whispers.

Your brow almost touches your hairline. "That's not my name."

"No," his reply is half spoken, half physical. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, bicep under you, cradling you, his big bear paw hugging your shoulder. A stray pinky ventures dangerously close to your nipple, fingers spread. "It's mine."

The world widens. "Yours?" You breathe in, out. It's trust, is what it is. He's giving you a piece of himself, this stranger, for you to hold. "Simon," you taste it in your mouth. "Simon."

He laughs against your hair. "Was watching you," he confesses. "After we got- after the ambush. Walked for days, till I found you."

"How long did you watch?" You're curious, if not a little suspicious. "You weren't casing it, were you?"

"No, nothing like that. Couldn't keep walking," he sighs loud like a dog. "Hadn't eaten, hadn't drank. Needed to know if you were somewhere I could stay."

"That's why Honey-nut was losing her mind," the realization is half funny, half scary. By the eight, you really hadn't noticed someone living so close-by for so long?

"Honey-nut?"

"You've met her, Simon. She's the goat."

"Ah," he snorts. "I've been calling her Molag-Bal, for how she's got us in the palm of her hand."

"Simon!" You shriek with laughter, shaking until he squeezes you from behind. So close his heartbeat taps against your back.

///

A week goes by, and each night is the same. You wake together, sleep together, eat together. Simon regains his strength and his wounds turn into scars. His face is deeply marked, but you've never known him another way. Truthfully, it adds to his handsomeness. There's a ruggedness there that one can only develop living in the rough.

The air gets colder, frigid in the mornings and nights. Light snows have begun falling, and Honey-nut begins her bleating until you put up the winter wall of her shelter, boxing her in. The chickens slowly cease laying eggs, bundling together, clucking at Simon when he checks for the seasons last bounty.

The time to make a trek to Markarth is creeping. You need dried goods, grain, seeds for spring, dried meats, elixirs - everything. It'll be your last trip before you're stuck in the freezing mountains with nobody but Honey-nut to talk to.

Books are your salvation during the cold months.

"I have to get supplies soon," you break the news to Simon early in the morning, when the light just barely creeps over the craggy peaks of the mountains. "In Markarth."

There. It's over with - telling him. You know you're being a coward by not asking directly, but you need to know. What is he going to do now that he's healed? Spend a few more months with you? You're still mostly strangers, practicing domesticity together, but strangers nonetheless.

"Can't go to Markarth," he says.

"Why's that?"

Simon looks at you then, eyes hard and tender at the same time. He grimaces a little, scar twisting wit his expression.

"Used to work there," A pause. "Used to… mine there."

"What?" Cidhna mine is for prisoners. You take a small step back, shaking your head. "What?" You repeat. Cidhna mine? Is that how- oh. His injuries, his waiting to see who you were before approaching. By the gods, you've been tricked!

"You tricked me-" you start, upset. Was he a killer, a robber? Images dredged from the recesses of your mind float to the surface. Men, fire, your mother cut down before you.

"No, no," he interrupts. He's shaking his head, not quite stepping forward but leaning toward you. Eyebrows drawn up, palms facing you in supplication. "Sweet girl, I," he looks around then, as if the words will appear written in smoke from the hearthfire. "Listen to me please," he pleads.

"Tell me what you did!" It's a near-shout, but you're upset. He's been cozying up to you while running from the law. Not that you're a total stickler for rules, but the men at Cidhna mine aren't there without reason.

The most secure prison in Skyrim.

"I will, I'll tell you. Just sit down please, sit with me." He pats a chair, sitting in the one beside it. Beseeching you. "Cm'ere, sweet girl. M'sorry."

///

You sit quietly while he tells you, choking a little on the rising tide of emotions. The biggest question is should you believe him? This story of his past, his father, a childhood spent learning to steal and bully to survive. Elixirs for a brother hooked on skooma, food for a mother grown sickly from her husbands abuse. Eventually getting rid of his father altogether, and wining up in Cidhna.

"If what you say is true," your voice wavers, throat tight with emotion. "Why not tell me?"

He shrugs his shoulders, looking up for a moment as if asking the divines for guidance.

"You never asked."

For a moment, you want to be indignant. You laid with him, cooked for him, wiped blood and sweat off his brow.

But he's right. You never asked, never thought to - just wondered, minded your business, content to help someone in need of it. The feeling of betrayal loosens in your chest, releasing it's vice grip on your heart, a calmer acceptance taking place.

The position it leaves you in is awkward, even if you're content to believe him. You've been too yielding since you met him. Accepted him into your home, accepted his story. Ambushed by bandits? A silly lie, now that you think of it. Vague, believable. Easier than explaining that guards had slashed him as he escaped imprisonment. That he couldn't go back because he was so recognizable.

You don't speak as you get ready. It's not an angry silence, but one brought by embarrassment. How stupid he must think you are, cozying up up to him like that.

The question of where he'll go burns still in your mind, in your gut. You're nervous, fingers shaking a little as you wrap long strips of warm wool on your calves, forearms, and between your fingers. Your dress is double-layered, boots sturdy.

It's a trip and half, lugging everything. You're on foot until you reach the nearest inn, and from there you rent a horse and cargo carriage. Easier from there, with Jazbay the white mare to pull you along.

"I know someone in Cidhna," Simon interrupts your thoughts. He's always tall, imposing, a little intimidating. Now he looks as sheepish as a man like him can look. "Could you…" He extends his hand, a letter clasped in it.

You grimace, but nod curtly.

"Thank you, honey," he breathes a sigh of relief. Honey. That ones new. It fills you with warmth.

"You're welcome to stay with me," you blurt. Impulsive, stupid. Brought on by the familiarity of his affection. "For the winter, I mean."

He's across the cabin in two steps. He presses his front to yours, hands cupping your cheeks, thumbs gently rubbing your cheekbones.

He kisses you, then, and everything slides into place. Your stomach tightens, hands coming up to grasp his shoulders, gasping into his mouth. It's wet, lips smacking noisily, the only sound in the near-frozen forest. Acceptance, sweet and buttery. This is a man whose never had a home.

"I can't stall any longer-" you try. He interrupts you with his mouth again, long kisses like it's reviving him, revitalizing him. "I gotta-"

"Shh, sweetheart," he hums lowly. Gods, you've never been this wet. It soaks into your cotton underwear, clit pulsing in time with your heart. "Let me take care of you, yeah?"

///

He's so solid, firm muscle and hard cock. It leaks between his legs, bobbing with his abdomen where he's kneeled on the floor, face in your cunt.

"Simon!" You're shouting, unabashed. Years have passed since anyone's touched you last, and you're sensitive as a maid, gripping his too-long hair almost meanly. Simon licks you like a starving man, slurping, letting you drip and then sucking it off your skin. His fingers find the entrance of your pussy, fitting himself in two at a time.

Once you've begun, you can't stop. He fucks you on the bed, letting it creak dangerously. Bends you over the table, cock dragging in and out of you deliciously. You shake and shiver in his arms, wrung out and insatiable all at once.

"Can I have you here, sweet girl?" He thumbs at your other hole, dipping in, kissing your inner thighs.

"Yes, gods yes, Simon," you drag his name out. Si-i-mon. It sounds good that way, breathy, not spoken but moaned and screamed. It's late evening, dark, colder now that you haven't lit the fire.

No need, when his cock is as hot as coals and slides between your arsecheeks like a divining rod. Your pussy is aching and hot, too-sensitive. You're belly down on the bed again, hands gripped in the sheets.

When you deliberately relax your muscles, he fits his fingers in your ass using come as lubricant. Spits down onto you, watches you start to rub yourself into the bedding desperately.

"None of that," he pants, pulling you up by your hips. A whine builds in your throat, which he shushes by pushing his other two fingers in your cunt. You yelp, moving toward him and away from him. He keeps you still, firmly holding your hips.

You come, tears beginning to leak into your sheets, when he presses his cock against the notch of your hole and pushes in.

A long, deep groan from the pit of his stomach starts and doesn't stop until he's sheathed. You're frozen, stuck in a gasp that doesn't end, filled to the brim.

Simon begins to rock, shallowly, stealing your breath and breathing it back into you with every thrust. It's then that you begin to make sound, crying out and fisting the sheets, rocking your hips with him. He reaches around, leaning down to kiss your shoulders and play with your clit at the same time.

"Not gonna last," he says into your skin. "Gonna come inside you again."

You're easy - so sensitive that if he breathed on you long enough you're sure you'd peak. His fingers twisting and pinching your clit is pure madness, and you tighten like a vice around him as you yowl your last orgasm of the night.

His hips snap into yours roughly, abandoning your clit for the flesh of your hips, pounding, dragging, grunting into you as he finds his own release.

Half-asleep, you fell him roll over onto his side and turn your head to face him. He's smiling lazily, stroking your skin, still sweating from exertion.

"I'll come with you tomorrow," he whispers.

"I thought you couldn't come to Markarth?" Confusion prickles at you, brows coming together. He finds the furrow with his thumb and smooths it away.

"I can't, honey. But I can come down and wait for you."

"You will?" Hope rises in you, in tandem with affection.

"Always," his voice is a soft murmur.

"Tomorrow, then."

"Tomorrow. Goodnight, sweet girl."

<3

[lemon-berri]

"You're s'pretty.. will you marry me?"

"Toru.. we've been married for two years..."

Your husband, Gojo Satoru, is a lightweight.

You know it. He knows it. Everyone knows it. Yet for whatever reason he had decided to drink when you'd gone out tonight.

Three shots. It had taken three shots to get here. He's on one knee in the middle of the bar, holding up a shot glass instead of a ring as he attempts to propose to you.

At the mention that you're already married, his big blue eyes light up. He grins. The innocence in his expression is completely at odds with the amount of trouble he's causing you right now.

"Reeeaally?" He chuckles out. "Wow.. m' so lucky!

Without warning, he stands up, suddenly towering over you. He picks you up, twirling you around and almost hitting several bar patrons in the process. You yelp, but his grip on you only tightens.

"Have we had a honeymoon..?" He asks.

"Satoru, put me down-" you start to say, despite the smile on your face.

"Let's go have one right now!"

"Wha-"

You're entirely helpless as the man carries you off, your friends and colleagues all but forgotten. And you most definitely do not know where he's taking you on this supposed honeymoon.

Given the fact that he attempted to propose to you with a shot glass, you're sure this can't be good.

This adventure is short lived however, when he sets you down on the dance floor. Twirling you around. His eyes roam over your figure appreciatevly, pausing on your smile. The expression on his face matches your own.

"Is this our honeymoon?" You ask him.

"Eeeeh? What honeymoon?" He answers, a little too loudly.

Really, Satoru is drunk enough that you should be taking him home. But he's making that almost impossible for you, as his strong arms wrap around you on the dance floor. There isn't much space for you to escape, not with the amount of people here.

So you let him have his fun, indulge him for now. You dance and laugh and let him kiss you in front of everyone. His breath tastes like alcohol and whatever fruity liqueur he's been having, and he smiles against your lips. You're a little tipsy yourself so you don't notice as the hours drift away.

It's much later when you finally drag your mountain of a man home. He's leaning his large body onto yours, swaying back and fourth with every step.

"Come on you" You say "let's get you ready for bed"

"Bed.." He hums. That seems to be the only word he registered, because he lifts you up once again and carries you off to your shared bedroom.

"Toru!" You yelp. "We gotta change- and I have to wash my face-"

It all goes unheard. He pulls you into bed, long limbs wrapping around you, making it impossible to move. He nuzzles against your shoulder, till all you can see is his mess of white hair.

"We'll get the bed dirty.." you complain, even as your hand comes to brush over his undercut. The sensation sends shivers down your husband's spine.

"Love you..  s' very much.. you know that? You're.. my world" He mutters out. His voice is soft, tired, and almost childlike in innocence.

You take a moment to respond, it seems like he's not intent on moving anytime soon. "I know.. I love you too"

"I'm so lucky..." His voice draws out on the last word. And you feel him relaxing with tiredness.

Satoru will most definitely have a headache in the morning. If not because of the alcohol then because he lost his blindfold somewhere at the bar. But you try not to think about that.

Instead, you focus on his soft breaths, and the comfortable weight of having him wrapped around you like this. You wonder how he could be so adorable, even when he's causing this much trouble.

But the trouble is all worth it. It always will be for him.

Credits for the dividers go to @aquazero

The blue manga panels were edited by myself 🫧

Once again thank you so much for reading! This took ages to write because I have 0 motivation at any given time.

I hope you enjoyed 🌟

[princessbrunette]

I can’t get off this modern!anakin train so imagine him discovering you have a daddy kink halfway through after he pushed your lower stomach down for you to feel it deeper and you let a “right there daddy…” slip

- 🌷

oh goodness this is speaking to me because 😩😩😩😩😩 oof. okay.

so you never bring it up, even if the idea of calling ani ‘daddy’ makes you clench around nothing. anakin never knew his own dad, so you figured the idea of calling him daddy would be a little…ick? and that was fine. you could save it for the fantasies, and push it down. until you couldn’t.

anakin was naturally protective, nurturing and dominant— it wasn’t totally unheard of for you to have these thoughts about him. he was, well — daddy material. in your sweet submissive eyes, that was the highest title you could bestow on someone.

it was one night where he was just fucking you so deep you couldn’t think straight. your knees were up by your tits, completely folded with anakin just hammering into you. you were totally helpless, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. anakin looks after you good, you don’t need any mobility to feel good, he’ll do it all for you. he had just taken his thumb out your mouth, having been letting you suck on it, dragging his hand down so your sparkly saliva was smeared all down your chin and your lips were plump and wet making them all the more tempting.

“know you’re close, pretty girl, let me have it.” he didn’t even think when he pressed down on your lower stomach, your walls contracting around him tighter as he made sure you felt him deep. you squealed, knees jerking by your sides, clammy hands grabbing at him when it slipped out.

“right there daddy — mmph!”

it took you a few seconds to register it, him too. the pleasure was so immense that there was an actual lag time in your brain, but when you’d realised you said it you were unscrewing your eyes with hot cheeks and a guilty expression. his brow was furrowed, cheeks pink and chest heaving above you.

you open your mouth when he hesitates with his strokes. “i’m s-sorry i—”

he’s cutting you off by leaning over you, bringing your bodies close now. his lips are just below your ear and he’s grinding now, slow and deep inside you. “s’okay baby. it’s alright. you need me to be daddy? i’m daddy. yeah.” he reassured you, his voice low and raspy — practically purring in your ear. he liked it.

you let out this devastating moan, it’s all high pitched and desperate and he knows he’s cracked it. this is gonna be what pushes you over the edge. he’s panting into your neck but pushes back to bring your gaze to him. when you look at him, he looks as just as desperate as you. “there it is. i know baby, i know. cum for daddy, there you go.”

he lets out this choked moan a few seconds later, his own words arousing him. if you weren’t too busy cumming your soul out on his dick, you might have giggled.

[strawb3rryscorpio]

𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 | 𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 ( 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 )

pairing: joel miller x afab!reader summary: nothing had been the same since the day of the outbreak, the day you lost sarah. trying to be there for joel, even as he shielded his emotions and grew more distant by the day, was manageable for the first fifteen years, but eventually, you were bound to get tired. chapter warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of death and the end of the world. pls let me know if i missed any! author's note: hi guys! this was inspired by an anonymous request and i thought i could do a little mini series based off of it so like 4-5 parts at most. also, this is very loosely inspired by the song evermore of the evermore album (aka taylor's best album) anyways, i really hope you guys enjoy this!!!

❛ I had a feeling so peculiar That this pain would be for Evermore ❜

October 2023

It had been three weeks. Twenty-one days. Almost a month since the world crumbled into chaos and since you lost your Sarah. The silence between you, Joel and Tommy was suffocating, but was something you soon learned not to address. Words were kept to a minimum, maybe ten a day at most, spoken between you all. Even the trees and wildlife around you seemed to have absorbed the weight of your grief, their once vibrant colours and life now muted and dull. Ever since Sarah was ripped from your lives, it felt like the entire world had drained of colour, leaving everything in shades of gray—your mind, your surroundings, your Joel—everything was drained of life.

The day she was shot, you felt your whole word falling apart. And Joel had been holding the shattered pieces of his heart in his hands, and you knew he would need time, a long time, to even begin to process and heal. You all needed time, but that was his baby, his daughter. The thought always found its way back into your mind: how could anyone heal from such a wound? It wasn’t something you could heal from—it was a scar that would never fade, just something you learned to live with.

You understood, more than anyone, that Joel needed to grieve in his own way. You were willing to give him all the space he needed, even if it left you feeling helpless. But as someone who loved and cared for him, you couldn’t help but pry, hoping to uncover even the smallest bit of his pain. You needed to know what he was feeling—more for your own sake than anything else. The thought of losing him as well was too much, too scary.

“Joel?” you whispered, your voice as fragile as glass. Tommy whipped his head toward you, his eyes wide as if you had just dropped a bomb. Tommy might have been intimidated by Joel, but you weren’t; nothing he could say would hurt you or drive you away, especially after everything that had happened in the last few weeks. “Joel, baby?” you whispered again when he didn’t respond. At first, you thought your words had been gone unheard but then he turned to you, his expression unreadable.

You hesitated, your mind flooding with conflicting thoughts. Should you let it go and let him climb further into his shell, or should you risk it, asking if he was okay, even if it was for your own selfish need? The second option tugged at you, promising a sliver of comfort, which you very much needed.

You said nothing as you quickened your pace, drawing level with him. Tommy, sensing the shift, slowed his steps, giving you and Joel space. “Joel, I need you to talk to me, baby,” you said, stopping in your tracks and turning toward him. You reached up, your hand trembling slightly as you caressed his rugged jaw, feeling the coarse texture of his beard under your fingertips. His skin, kissed by the setting sun, glowed like honey, but his eyes—those deep brown, once full of life eyes—were now dark, cold and unreadable. “I need to know if you’re okay,” you added, your voice cracking like a twig underfoot. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision, because his eyes, once warm and full of life, were now hollowed out by grief, and he looked like a different person.

He stared at you, his lips trembling as if words were trying to escape, but they remained inside. “Joel, if you want to say something, say it, baby,” you murmured, bringing your other hand to his face, cupping his cheeks gently. “I’m here for you, Joel. That might seem insignificant right now, but if you talk about things, it might help,” you uttered, your hands slipping into his hair, a gesture you had done so often that it became second nature.

But instead of leaning into your touch, he grabbed your wrists, pulling them down with a force that startled you. “This is not some fucking therapy session!” he exploded, his voice slicing through the air like a knife. His eyes were wide with anger, as if a storm was brewing within. Tommy started walking over, alarmed by the yelling, but you held up a hand, signaling for him to stay back. This was between you and Joel. “This ain’t some stupid shit like my dog died or something. I lost my Sarah, my everything,” he continued, his voice cracking, the anger giving way to a sadness you knew was there but never saw. Tears streamed down both of your faces, along with the dust and sweat from weeks worth of being outside. “So no, I’m not okay. I will not be okay, so stop asking dumb fucking questions and leave me the fuck alone!” he roared, his breath hot and ragged on your face. You could feel the rage and sadness in his body, his heart racing so fast, it almost scared you. It should have scared you, but it didn’t.

In any other situation, his yelling would have cut deep, hurt you in ways words usually did. You might have even broken down, and started crying. But instead, you felt a weird sense of satisfaction, knowing that you had finally cracked through his walls, even if only a little. You hated that it took his anger to reach this point, but at least he wasn’t completely shutting you out.

You nodded slowly, acknowledging his pain, his rage, his brokenness. Tommy walked over, his expression tense and uncomfortable, the air between you all thick with tension. “Why don’t we set up camp here for the night?” he suggested, his voice soft, almost pleading. He knew Joel needed rest, and maybe the quiet of the night would soothe some of the intense emotions. “I’ll keep watch tonight, and one of you can make it up to me tomorrow night.” You nodded again, and Tommy took it as a ‘yes’ from both you and Joel.

You found a small cave, a dark hollow in the side of the short hill, where you could set up your sleeping bags. You laid yours right next to Joel’s. As you packed away the day’s equipment into your pack, Joel had already retreated into the cave, laying in his sleeping bag.

“You okay?” Tommy asked, his eyes bloodshot from exhaustion, the weight of the past weeks etched into his features.

“Yeah, Tommy, I’m fine,” you replied, zipping up your pack with more force than necessary, the fabric resisting for a moment before giving way.

“Sorry on his behalf for yelling at you like that. He lost Sarah, but so did you—so did both of us,” he said, the sadness in his tone a heavy, suffocating thing.

“No need to apologize for him, Tommy. I’m just the tiniest bit glad he said something to me. That’s the most he’s said to me since that day,” you said, your voice cracking as a thick tear rolled down your cheek. “At least I know what he’s feeling,” you added, and he nodded, understanding the small victory.

You walked over to him, pulling him into a tight embrace, your arms wrapped around him eagerly. He returned the hug, clinging to you as if you were the only thing keeping him together in that moment. You both thought about Joel all day, every day, and you realized you had neglected to check on Tommy. He had lost his niece, too, a bond that was so strong and so full of love.

“You okay?” you asked again, pulling away slightly to look him in the eyes, searching for an answer.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. There don’t seem to be any infected or people nearby, so I’ll be good,” he replied, scanning the area with a practiced eye, the soldier in him never fully gone.

“No, Tommy, I mean with everything,” you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper as you fiddled with the zipper on your coat. The nights were colder now, the darkness thicker, wrapping around you all.

“Yeah, I will be. We will be,” he said, the tears finally spilling over, leaving wet paths down his dusty cheeks. “But I don’t know about him,” he added, nodding toward the cave where Joel lay, his tone heavy with uncertainty.

“Me neither, but we can try,” you replied, your voice trembling with fear and sadness, the weight of it all pressing down on you. He nodded, and you grabbed your pack, heading into the cave, seeking the small comfort of sleep.

“You’ll be okay out here?” you asked, your hand resting on the cold stone as you prepared to crawl into the small cave.

“Yeah, always am,” he replied with a tight, tired smile. “Go to sleep, sweetheart,” he added, and you returned the smile, though it felt hollow.

You crawled into the cave, your eyes adjusting to the darkness as you made out Joel’s outline, his body curled up in the tight space. He was asleep—or at least you hoped he was—his back turned to you. You crawled over to him, close enough to feel the warmth of his body radiating through the sleeping bag. Wrapping your arm around his torso, you rested your face against his back, breathing in his musky, earthy scent, a reminder of the man you loved, the man who was still here, even if only in body. The night outside was alive with the sounds of crickets and rustling leaves, a sound that once would have been comforting for you but now filled you with unease and fear.

You looked up, your eyes searching the starless sky as if seeking answers from God who you felt had long since turned away. You prayed, your thoughts a desperate plea that Joel would always be there with you. No matter where you were, no matter how awful the world became, the only thing that mattered was that you were together. You shut your eyes, the exhaustion of the day crashing over you like a wave, pulling you into a restless sleep, your arm still wrapped around Joel, holding on to him like you're life depended on it.

And at this point, it did.

[signoferoda]

BRAVING THE SHADOW- HS

Summary- Harry’s son has night terrors and is in need of a child’s psychiatrist

The nightmares wouldn’t stop. They were on a constant repeat, night after night, plaguing Indis mind. Clowns with jagged teeth and glowing eyes chased him through darkened forests, their menacing laughs echoing in his ears. The ground beneath his feet felt like quicksand, threatening to swallow him whole with each step he took. He could run as fast as he could, but they still caught up to him.

In his dreams, the six year old was always alone. He would call out for his parents or his older brothers, but his voice would get lost in the void, unheard and unanswered. Fear gripped his heart, leaving him helpless in the face of his nightmares. The terror was so palpable that even when he woke, he could still feel his heart racing as if he actually had ran.

Every night was the same, the patterns repeating themselves, leaving Indi exhausted and afraid to close his eyes. He would lie in bed, wide awake, dreading the moment when sleep would claim him once more and plunge him into the depths of his subconscious fears. He tried to stay awake, to fight against the pull of sleep, but eventually, exhaustion would overcome him, and he would drift into fitful slumber.

From early on, Indi had decided that there was no escape from the horrors that awaited him in the darkness of his mind. It was as if his own mind had become a prison, trapping him in a never-ending cycle of fear and despair where each nightmare would take on new forms and shapes, each more terrifying than the last.

During a particularly scary night, Indi's night terrors worsened, tightening their hold on him with each passing moment. He jolted awake with a terrified cry, tears running down his face, frightened to spend another moment alone in his bedroom, the nightlight Harry put up his room doing nothing to help him.

Softly, Indi padded down the hallway, his small feet barely making a sound on the cold floor, his heart still pounding in his chest. He tried his best to be quiet, not wanting to disturb his older brothers who slept peacefully in their respective rooms. Once he reached the doorway of his parents' room, he paused, gathering his courage before gently pushing the wooden door open.

Inside, Harry and Y/N slept soundly, the only light in their room being the bright red numbers of their alarm clock. Indi approached the king sized bed, his bottom lip trembling as he hesitated for a moment before climbing in beside them. He tried his best to be quiet, not wanting to disturb his pregnant mother, whose rest was precious and very much needed. Indi was a worrier but also a nurturing soul. He knew y/n was having trouble getting enough sleep, the pregnancy being particularly hard on her.

Harry stirred awake, blinking away sleep as he felt the bed shift. His heart melted at the sight of his son, his tear-streaked face seeking comfort with him.

"Indi, buddy, what's wrong?" Harry whispered, his voice a comforting murmur in the stillness of the night.

Indi sniffled softly, trying to stifle his sobs as he climbed over Harry to nestle himself between his parents, seeking solace in the warmth of their embrace.

Y/N, stirred next, her maternal instincts instantly on high alert. She turned to see Indi nestled between her and Harry, his small form trembling with fear.

"What's the matter, lovebug?" she whispered, reaching out to stroke his hair gently. Although the other boys had their dads hair, Indi was all y/n. It made her smile as he seeked her comfort.

"I had a bad dream," Indi whispered, his voice barely audible.

Y/N wrapped her arms around Indi, pulling him close to her swollen belly so that he could feel the steady rhythm of the baby's movements beneath his touch, a comforting presence in the darkness of the night.

"It's okay, bug. You're safe now," she murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "We're here."

Harry squeezed Indi's small hand reassuringly, his heart aching at the thought of his son experiencing such fear. "We won't let anything happen to you, Indi. We promise."

With each soothing touch and whispered reassurance, the grip of fear began to loosen its hold on Indi's heart. He knew he would always find comfort in his parents arms so he let go, willing to fight his demons as he drifted off to sleep again. He made a silent vow to himself to be brave, not just for his sake, but for the sake of his soon-to-arrive baby sister. He knew he had to be big and strong for her.

A few days later, Harry and Y/N noticed that Indi's anxiety seemed to linger, dimming his usual playful spirit. Concerned for their son's well-being, they decided to seek professional help and make an appointment with a child psychiatrist.

As the morning of the appointment arrived, Harry and Y/N took on the delicate task of preparing Indi for his visit to the doctor. With tender hands and comforting words, they gently guided him through the morning routine, knowing the significance of the day ahead. Seated around the breakfast table, a hushed atmosphere enveloped the room, punctuated only by the clink of utensils. In a silent glance, Harry and Y/N affirmed their unwavering dedication to stand by Indi through his healing journey.

“Boys, why don’t you two go grab your school stuff whilst we talk to your brother” y/n began, smiling as Theo and Blake nodded and headed off to their rooms to grab their school bags. She nodded at Harry.

"Hey buddy," Harry began, his voice gentle, "Today we're going to visit a special doctor who knows a lot about helping kids feel better when they're feeling worried or scared."

Y/N reached out, placing a comforting hand on Indi's smaller hand. "It's perfectly normal to feel a little nervous, but we want you to know that we're right here beside you, okay? You're not alone in this."

Indi looked up at them, his eyes wide with uncertainty. "But what if the doctor doesn't understand?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Harry smiled reassuringly. "That's why we're going with you, champ. We'll all talk together, and the doctor will listen carefully to everything you have to say. She’s here to help, just like we are."

Y/N nodded in agreement. "And remember, lovebug, it's okay to share how you're feeling. This doctor is really good at figuring out how to make things better, but she need to know what's going on first."

Indi hesitated for a moment before nodding slowly, a small glimmer of hope flickering in his eyes. "Okay," he said softly, "I'll try."

Harry squeezed Indi's hand, his heart swelling with pride. "That's my brave boy," he said, his voice filled with warmth. "We'll get through this together, I promise."

As they entered the psychiatrist's office, Indi clung to his parents' hands, his anxiety heavy in the air. The waiting room was filled with colourful toys and books, but Indi seemed too preoccupied with his thoughts to pay them any attention.

Harry and Y/N sat beside him, offering quiet words of encouragement and support.

"Indi, lovie, it's going to be okay," Y/N whispered, her hand resting gently on his knee.

Harry squeezed Indi's shoulder reassuringly. "You're doing great, little man. We're all here for you."

Indi nodded, his eyes stayed fixated on the door across the room. Every creak of the floorboards made his heart race, anticipation and anxiety warring within him.

Finally, the door opened, and a warm smile greeted them. "Indi?" Dr. Fox called, her voice soft and inviting.

Indi took a deep breath and rose to his feet, his parents following close behind. He stepped into the office, his heart pounding in his chest as he settled into the chair opposite Dr. Fox’s desk, his feet swinging.

"Hello, Indi," Dr. Fox said warmly. "It's nice to meet you. How are you feeling today?"

Indi shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes fixed on the floor. "Okay, I guess," he mumbled, his voice barely audible.

"Can you tell me a little bit about what's been bothering you lately?" Dr Fox asked.

Indi shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his gaze fixed on the floor. "I keep having bad dreams," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "Clowns and stuff."

Dr. Fox nodded understandingly. "It sounds like those dreams have been really scary for you. Can you tell me more about them?" Indi hesitated for a moment, looking towards his dad.

“I know it can be scary opening up. But remember that this is a safe space, Dr fox wants to help you buddy.” Harry spoke softly, ruffling his hair.

Dr. Fox nodded “you can take your time”

Indi nodded for a moment before slowly opening up about his nightmares. He described the monsters and clowns that haunted his sleep, the fear that gripped his heart, and the sense of helplessness that lingered long after he woke.Harry and Y/N listened intently, their hearts breaking at the thought of their son struggling with such overwhelming emotions.

As Indi spoke, Dr. Fox listened attentively, offering words of reassurance and validation. She asked gentle questions, guiding him through his emotions and helping him to make sense of his experiences.

"You're a very brave boy for sharing your feelings with us, Indi," Dr. Fox said, her voice filled with warmth and admiration. "It takes a lot of courage to talk about things that scare us." Indi nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Together, they discussed coping strategies and techniques to help Indi manage his anxiety, from deep breathing exercises to creating a calming bedtime routine.

"Sometimes, when we feel scared or anxious, our bodies forget to breathe," Dr. Fox explained. "Taking slow, deep breaths can help calm your mind and relax your body."

Indi nodded, his curiosity piqued. "Like this?" he asked, mimicking the slow inhales and exhales Dr. Fox demonstrated.

"That's perfect, Indi," Dr. Fox said with a smile. "You can practice this whenever you start to feel scared or overwhelmed. Your daddy and mummy can help” the couple nodded, reassuring Indi that they would help in any way they can.

They also talked about creating a bedtime routine that would help Indi feel safe and relaxed before going to sleep.

"Having a consistent routine can signal to your brain that it's time to wind down and relax," Dr. Fox explained. "You could try things like reading a book, taking a warm bath, or listening to calming music."

Indi nodded eagerly, already thinking about which of his dads songs he’d listen to before bed. “Daddy, I want to listen to Fine Line tonight” he exclaimed to his dad, excited to try these thing that would hopefully stop his night terrors.

“I’ll play it for yah, don’t worry bud” Harry smiled. With each new strategy, Harry could see that Indi felt a little more empowered, a little more capable of facing his fears.

By the end of the appointment, Indi seemed a little lighter, a small spark of hope flickering in his eyes. Dr. Fox commended him for his courage in sharing his feelings and reminded him that he was not alone in his struggles.

Leaving the psychiatrist's office, Harry, Y/N, and Indi strolled hand in hand, their worries lightened by the promise of professional guidance.

"Thank you for being so brave today, Indi," Y/N said, squeezing her son's hand affectionately."We're going to get through this together."

[inbarfink]

There’s something very ironic about the opening shot of (almost) every DHMIS TV Episode being the front door opening. Considering that in general, this show is about the claustrophobia and helplessness of these characters being trapped in their house unless let out by the capricious whims of their teacher - and specifically because of that, from our protagonists’ POV, that front door probably doesn’t exist.

Okay, so, judging from the layout of the house in both the opening and the show itself, the front door should be right here -

behind the kitchen, right next to the mirror and the coat rack (which, you know, it makes sense to have the front door right next to the coat rack). 

But the characters themselves never directly explicitly interact with this location (and they only implicitly interact with it once, which I will get to a bit later). Instead, every time the characters are actually shown going in and out of the house - they use the door on the side of the Dining Room.

And this door might lead outside of the house -

Or it might just lead to the living room.

DHMIS loves to use the conventions of television to create a surrealist and oppressive atmosphere and that is just another example of this. Nonsensical house/apartment layouts are not unheard of in TV Production. You know, filming inside a real house is often a lot less convenient than building disconnected sets and cutting between them when the characters walk through a door - and sometimes flubs or inconsistencies happen or the production just straight-up doesn’t care about it as much as nerds online and whoops now the characters live in a canonical non-Euclidean pocket dimension. But in DHMIS this is not a flub, but an intentional element of unease and horror (and sometimes comedy).

Cause, you know, it’s not just that the trio live in a space that does not make any sense (where is the bedroom anyways? Is it also behind that same dining room door?) - it’s also that their own house is a space they cannot actually fully control or navigate.

They can’t determine whenever this is the living room door or front door. They can’t leave of their own volition, but any random stranger can come inside or force them out.

Just another reminder that is not really their house, as much as they are of the house. And meanwhile the space that should logically be the front door goes totally ignored by the characters - basically on the same logic none of them can see either the staircase or the empty chalkboard space lingering just past the fourth wall of their dining room.

If it is off-screen, it basically doesn’t exist for the characters. Again, this idea of turning a convention of TV Fiction into another part of the Puppets’ Actual Nightmare is a recurring theme in DHMIS.

And on that same note, I want to point out the moment that comes closest to acknowledging the front door, or whatever else lies behind that little nook.

In Episode 2, ‘Death’, during the Memories musical montage, Yellow goes to the coat rack area -

And then he goes outside.

Basically the only time in DHMIS’ TV Series that one of the Puppets has left the house on their own. Not accompanied by a Teacher or following a ‘lesson plan’ (quite the opposite, really). Considering that he was by the coat rack a moment ago - that’s the closest we’ve got to one of the Main Three Guys Around using the front door where it’s supposed to be. 

It’s still all very… ambiguous. You know, and Duck was basically buried in their backyard, it’s not like Yellow was pulling a Transport and actually trying to leave. But I still think there’s something there. Cutting from the little coat-rack-hallway to the outside is suggestive of a certain kind of movement the same way heading towards the kitchen door and then cutting to the outside is. 

And the fact this is Yellow Guy, the Puppet who is at the same time most oblivious but also the closest to being aware of what’s going on -

Is certainly very intriguing...

[peachycrisis]

Human Again

chapter 2

—————

The princess helped the former demon up the stairs as the rest of the residents watched in awe and utter confusion. How could this had happened? How could an angelic weapon cause all of this change? How is the infamous radio demon now a scrawny human?

“There we go, yep- one more step-“ Charlie muttered as she helped the injured man up the final stair, the man grunting in pain with each step. Charlie looked down at the man, who seemed to now be looking at her as well, the man’s eyes were dull- but alert. The man’s eyes were brown, with a little bit of green mixed in as well. It was very weird to look at the man who used to be feared all throughout hell as a helpless, injured human. The sharp red orbs on the man’s face were now replaced with big brown doe eyes- looking.. embarrassed? She sighed, stopping at the top of the stairs- feeling the man try to take his weight off of her and failing miserably.

“Woah- Al, are you okay?” the princess of hell asked as she felt the former radio demon place more of his weight onto her, the brown eyed radio host felt lightheaded and exhausted. His head fell into the crook of her neck, feeling his newly found curly hair brush up against her face and shoulders.

“It hurts a lot, you know.” he spoke into her neck, lacking the usual radio filter.

“I know, I know-“ she says, gripping onto the man, still allowing him to use her shoulders as something to balance on. Alastor winced, putting pressure back onto his own feet. “We’re almost there.” She said as they continued down the hallway slowly.

—————

The residents watched as the duo made their way up the stairs, confused as all hell.

“what the fuck just happened.” Angel spoke, breaking the awkward silence between them.

“I had never heard of such a thing, a sinner turning back into a human after being strikes by an angelic weapon..?” Vaggie questioned, dumbfounded at the events that just took place.

“That is unheard of, even in Heaven..”

“Well, I just gotta say- I would hi-“ Angel spoke seductively before being cut off by husk.

“If you hit on him I swear to fucking god.” Husk grumbled, everyone looked at him- surprised by his sudden outburst.

“I was just gonna say, he is kinda hot.” Angel confessed as he shrugged, everyone’s glance moved from husk to Angel within a second.

“Fuck no.”

—————

Once they got to Alastor’s room, Charlie helped him to the bed, before going back and closing the door for more privacy- she didn’t know the overlord very well, mainly do to him being a very private person- but one thing she did know, he would not want the entire hotel knowing about what is going on- or at least what is going on with his injury at this very moment.

“Okay, Alastor.” She started, “I’m not sure if you remember- I’m Charlie, but I think you know that already though-“

“yes dear, I know who you are.” Alastor spoke weakly. That’s right, he just mentioned the deal. Charlie internally envisioned herself smacking her own forehead. His smile continued to strain, the sharp teeth gone- replaced by a more human set. He cannot lose control. Not now, not ever. His smile strained even more as he watched the blonde woman in front of him, she looked so worried. He gripped tighter onto his coat, hugging his chest where his wound is, trying to hide it from view. He felt his breath hitch as his heart started to race… why was he panicking?

stay. in. control.

“okay, yes- um..” Charlie stuttered, looking at the man in-front of her- shock still coursing through her veins as she examined every nook and cranny- her eyes focusing down at the blood stained marks on his clothing. The clothing looked to be a little tight, possibly from the transition from a cannibal demon to a human being. She looked up and into his eyes, the man’s brown eyes looked tired and glassy as they also stared deep into hers. They stayed like that for a solid 30 seconds before the princess broke the silence.

“um…” she hesitated, looking at the arm encased in the bloody sleeve of his coat that was covering up the bloody angelic wound. She got on one knee in-front of the man and put her hand softly on Alastor’s arm, she felt him tense up, before watching him take a deep breathe and attempt to compose himself from the sudden touch. He allowed himself to loosen up, closing his eyes, putting his head down, and sighing.

“Can I see it?” She asked, gently rubbing his arm with her thumb. His breathe hitched again,

“uh- dear, i-“ his head shot up, his eyes opening- confused, scared, every emotion at once. Some strands of the overlords hair was sticking to his forehead from how much he has been sweating.

“I just want to see the damage.” She spoke reassuringly, “i won’t judge you, I promise..” the man noticeably tensed up even more, his eyes widened- his smile sharpening. His heart rate got even faster, Charlie noticed this, quickly getting up from her place on the floor, and opting to take a place beside him on the side of the bed.

“I just want to see how I can help you, is that okay?” She asked softly. The radio host finally agreed.

Charlie watched as Alastor- or the human version of who she knew to be alastor, took off his gloves, revealing flesh toned hands. She watched as his hands traveled to the buttons on his shirt, and how his hands shook with each button he needed to undo.

“Do you need he-“

“no.”

The man finally unbuttoned the last of the series of buttons, and slid the shirt off of his shoulders, revealing his chest and arms, all the same flesh color as his hands. Besides the obvious injury that stretched from the man’s hip to his shoulder, she noticed many scars littering his body, specifically his arms- she wanted to run her hands over the man’s scars, she wanted to tell him that everything will be alright… but she knows that the overlord would not want to hear any of it.

The man was stocky- thin, but built, a lot more built then his demon counterpart. His chest also contained the slightest amount of chest hair near his peck area.

“can we just.. get this over with?” Alastor spoke, his voice trembled and weak as his smile visibly starts to shake, on the verge of breaking. She took too much time examining and… exploring… the former demons body, she had barely payed attention to him himself. She watched as the mans body shivered, his eyes were wide with a mixture of what seemed to be fear and embarrassment.. the brown eyes started to well up with tears, as if he was going to break down at any moment. She watched him sniff, seeming either holding back a sob or a scream.

He could be self-conscious, she thought to herself before she looked at him, looking for a sign of reassurance that she could get closer. The curly haired hesitated, but then reluctantly agreed by giving her a nod.

She knelt down in-front of him again, taking a good look at the wound. It seemed to be starting to heal at the ends, but it was still very much inflamed and festering in the middle, with the outside skin looking red and raw.

“Alastor, you waited three days to take care of this?” She spoke… her voice shaking at the observation of how bad it truly was.

“yes…”

“Alastor-“

“I know.” he softly cried, letting a tear fall down his cheek, using one of his hands as stabilization on the bed, while the other found its way making it up to the man’s face and hair while the princess examined his bare, injured, and scarred skin.

he hated that she had to look at his body for that long.

[acourtofinkandpapyrus]

My Little Shadow (Azriel X Reader)

Warnings: Toxic abusive family, arranged marriage, entitled males

This is my first fanfiction! I hope you all enjoy this fic about Azriel rescuing Y/N from their new "fiancée"

Edit! Part two out now here: Part two

I walked through the crowds, struggling not to spill my full glass of faerie wine as I forced my way through the crowd.

This was not how I had wanted my night to go.

After a huge blow out with my family, I had made a quick escape.  My father was an angry man, and a powerful one.  With a standing right below Keir in the hierarchy, and knowing that if Keir made even one false move, my father would step through the bloody mess and take his place.

As long as he continued to hold his current standing of course.

And that required status.  He had come home talking about a great opportunity for the family, which of course meant him.

Draven had asked for my hand in marriage.  Most likely because the male couldn’t find a family that would release their daughter to him, considering his horrible reputation in the way he treated women.

And that was saying a lot considering this was Hewn City.

I had completely refused, which was unheard of in our family.

I was the perfect daughter.  The one who calmed him when he went into an abusive rage and looked for one of my sisters to take it out on.

So when I said no, he laughed it off, saying, “That was my first reaction too, but then you should have heard what he was offering!  I never thought you’d fetch such a high price girl.”

I had been so angry, felt so helpless- It was the first time I had ever told him what I had thought of him.

Everyone had been so stunned that I had enough time to rush out the door before the bellowing started.  I had made a beeline for this party, knowing my father would rather choke on his own blood before making a scene in such a public place.

Especially when the high lord was visiting tonight, his high lady was right up there with him.

Maybe I could approach the throne, plead to be set free of this damned city.  But I knew better.

The citizens of Hewn City stayed in Hewn City.

Except for the beautiful Morrigan.  Sometimes I was inspired by the female who had escaped the cruelty of this nightmare.  But sometimes there was a spark of envy, knowing I would never have that same freedom.

“Hello, pretty thing.”  The slimy voice of Draven came from behind me.

I jerked forward, spilling my wine on some dancer in the crowd.  They yelped in angry surprise, but I didn’t get a chance to apologize as Draven dragged me backwards, spinning me around.

“Your father told me all about your little outburst, are you really that hot and bothered over me?”  He asked, his breath reeking of alcohol.

I went to shove him away, but he only gripped me tighter.

“Let go of me Draven.”  I hissed, fear rising as I realized that there was no one looking over, not one of the party goers noticed the scene unfurling in this corner.

Not like anyone would intervene anyway.

He chuckled.  “I don’t think so sweetheart.”  He said, his grip tightening to the point it was painful, and I forced myself not to react, but only to stare him down.

He didn’t like that.

He let go with one hand and raised it, and I instinctively flinched away.  But the hit never came.

I looked up to see some sort of darkness wrapping around his wrist, keeping him from delivering that blow.

His look of rage and confusion melted into one of slight terror as a silky smooth voice spoke.  “What’s going on over here?”

My head whipped around, and I strained my neck upwards to see one of the armor clad males hovering over me, the Shadowsinger who was glaring at Draven with sharp hazel eyes.

My throat closed up, not knowing how to explain the situation in a way that Dravon couldn’t twist it.

“I was having a discussion with my fiancé.”  He said, calmly, his smirk back, pretending not to have a care in the world.

But I could tell he was enraged from the bruising grip he had on my hand.

The shadowsinger ignored Draven, looking at me for answers.

I shifted uncomfortably, speaking softly, “I was just enjoying the party when this male approached me.  I have no clue what he’s talking about.”

Draven started to protest, but from one look from the shadowsinger, and he let go of my wrist, rushing off to some nasty corner of this place.

I let out a sigh of relief, letting my shoulders slump as I calmed myself.

“What’s your name?”

I jumped, having forgotten the shadowsinger was still there.

“I- uh- My name’s Y/N.”  I said, hoping he didn’t realize who my father was.

He nodded.  “I’m Azriel.  Are you alright?”  He asked, staring pointedly at my wrist, which I had started to rub soothingly without realizing it.

I stopped, trying not to make eye contact with him.  “I’m fine, thank you.”  I said, my common sense returning as I lowered my head, fully the demure female.  This male was more powerful than even my father, if he decided to take over where Draven had left off, no one would be coming to save me.

“I should be heading home.  My father is expecting me.”  I said, turning and rushing away before he could speak again.

As I got farther into the halls and away from the party, I became more and more sure no one was following me.

I knew I would have to face my father eventually, but for now, I settled on resting against the wall, dipping my hand into the shadows I loved so dearly.

I couldn’t help but smirk as they crawled up my arm lovingly, curling around me, sensing my negative emotions.

Azriel wasn’t the only Shadowsinger in the night court, and it may just be the key to my escape.

[chaninfused]

And Hope to Die | Han Jisung

◤“Her voice was softer and smoother than he anticipated, but why did he even expect her to sound like a fragment of his darkest nightmares in the first place?” In which a man who wants nothing to do with the mafia is chosen by its most infamous members. ◤Disclaimers: Female reader insert. Chapter four from the ‘dead men don’t speak’ series. Angst. Descriptions of violence, blood, injury, and death. Usage of profanities. ◤Word count: 3.5K ◤Note: This idea is mine and any case of similarity with someone else’s is purely coincidental. Events are pure fiction. Please do not take my content without my consent. Masterlist.

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"Congratulations on your promotion!"

Those four words were the worst Jisung had ever heard in his life, but his colleagues seemed to think otherwise. They pounced on him, each with a proud slap to his back or a playful punch to his shoulder.

He stood between them like a twig helpless to the tides of the sea, jostled about without regard.

He didn't want a promotion.

He wanted out of this mess.

As he was pondering over all the ways the universe seemed to personally despise him, the door to the meeting room opened, and two strangers stepped in.

His colleagues immediately fell into a hush and bowed their heads in greeting, their small huddle around him dissipating. "Good afternoon, commanders!"

Not strangers, he realized with a chill as he mimicked the rest. He simply hadn't the opportunity to interact with them up close to recognize them. But he had heard of them. Who in the Shadow Front hadn't?

Seo Changbin, the one who wore an eye patch. Y/n, the one who wore a burgundy coat. Two commanders of the Chaos Crescent infamous for being downright insane.

Jisung wanted to jump out the nearest window.

"Han Jisung. That's you, right?"

He tensed up for a second. Her voice was softer and smoother than he anticipated, but why did he even expect her to sound like a fragment of his darkest nightmares in the first place?

"Yes," he squared his shoulders when he answered, daring to hold her—disconcertingly—sparkly gaze.

Why him?

Jisung had nothing to offer besides an uninspired soul, yet there she was, extending her hand out to him. “We’re excited to have you on board Action Unit 19, Han.”

That was his chance. He had better decline this ridiculous promotion and hope that if he weren’t to be released from this farce of a life, he’d at least remain in the bottom ranks where no eye nor mind regarded him.

But she was still looking at him intently, absorbing every millisecond of his hesitation with those knowing eyes. Behind her, the commander of Action Unit 17 regarded him with as much interest as one would grant a fly on the wall.

It appeared that his so-called chance was a farce, too.

Sure that fate was laughing its twisted ass off at him, Jisung clasped the hand of his new boss.

“Thank you, commander.”

•⭓•

Action Unit 19 was always busy solely by virtue of being yours, for you never sat still and never lingered in one place for too long. This new lifestyle was the very opposite of each of Jisung’s unheard hopes.

It was his third week, and he was standing amidst the havoc being wreaked by his comrades, idle. If any will was left in his empty soul, it was definitely not spared to raise the gun in his loose grasp or engage himself in the raid they’d been tasked with. It was a miracle he’d even survived this long, having been doing the exact same thing on every mission so far—absolutely nothing.

If anyone in his unit noticed, he was sure they’d kill him for it, or at least pummel him to the ground because that was the kind of unit he’d been promoted to.

One that would answer, ‘how high?’ if their commander told them to jump.

It moved Jisung’s soul not one bit.

In his impassive state, he felt a weight crash into him, nearly toppling him to the ground had he not quickly caught his footing.

The man who had collided with him was now clutching his issued suit. A bruised cheekbone and a busted lip, yet he snarled at him, spitting blood, “Go to hell.”

Frankly, Jisung couldn’t be bothered to fight him off, so he only stared back at him.

An enemy. Maybe he could finally release him from his hell.

The man fished out a knife, and it glinted with the tantalizing light of freedom, before it was snuffed out by two dreadful gunshots.

A bullet to his arm and another to his neck, and he convulsed, choking, letting go, dying. Exposing Jisung’s actions, or lack thereof, to his comrades.

The floor they’d been fighting in quietened, the silence only disrupted by the bold clacking of dress shoes and your demanding question behind him.

“What are you doing?”

He didn’t turn around to face you, gaze still fixed at the dying man now crumpled at his feet. There went the chance he’d been waiting for.

Jisung doubted that you wanted his answer to that question because he was doing nothing, and that was the exact problem. His listlessness placed the rest of his unit in danger, and any resulting casualties would be your burden to carry in front of the higherups.

But he didn’t really care.

He knew better, in the depths of his mind, than to anger his boss. Still, he held on to the inkling of hope that maybe this way, you’d realize your mistake of hiring him and demote him back to the solitary humdrum of the lower ranks.

Anything to destroy this ever-growing snowball of mistakes.

You scoffed, and it sent a terrible chill down his spine. “I guess you don’t care if you died then.”

His body snapped in your direction, fast enough to see you point your gun straight at his head. Strangely, and against all reason, his heart lurched with the most sickening feeling. Wait—

Three gunshots deafened him as they echoed. Before he could speak. Before he could blink. Before he could breathe.

You were known to be wasteful with your bullets, but your aim was never sloppy, and instead of searing pain, Jisung heard a shriek from behind him.

Oh. Figures you wouldn’t actually shoot him.

He was frozen in place when you strode past him, your face a blank slate that somehow made the threat leaving your lips worse, “Get your act straight or you’ll wish those bullets went through your skull instead.”

•⭓•

Jisung thought that few things were more suffocating than his waking hours, one of which was being awake and in a party.

He managed to slip out of the loud hall with unsurprising ease. He was only a rookie in Action Unit 19, after all. No one would ask for his particular company during the half-year party where the entirety of the Shadow Front, bosses and underlings alike, gathered to drink and sweettalk their ways into higher positions.

Eager to be as far away from their pretenses, Jisung eventually found himself opening the door to the rooftop and stepping out to a stunning sunset. Even from this height, the view of the sky was the same as that seen by the passengers of the cars zooming below. Innocents who’d committed no mistakes as grave as his, and still got to enjoy something so mundane.

He leaned into the ceramic railing and nearly jumped out of his skin when a hum sounded behind him.

“The sky is green.”

He spun around so quickly he should’ve lost his balance, but Jisung only sputtered out, “Ma’am—!”

It turned out there were others beside himself who sought a breath of fresh air.

You were lying on the bare concrete, one outstretched leg over the other with your signature coat bundled up to cushion your head. How he hadn’t noticed you from the start was a wonder he could only attribute to the clouding of his mind, wanting nothing more than to escape the party.

As if his situation wasn’t sufficiently awkward on its own, there was the added fact that Jisung had been lying low ever since you rebuked him during the raid. Now, he was alone on the deserted rooftop with you and no smooth way to make an exit.

Damn it.

“Han Jisung.”

Maybe he should’ve stayed at that wretched party.

“I know you don’t want to be here.”

He stiffened at your words, carried by the soft breeze to his cold ears.

“I’ve known it for a while. Ever since your recruitment.”

So what? It wasn’t like he tired too hard to hide it. His life had been tainted by this organization, and he didn’t remember how or when it all began. Only that he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“But here’s the thing,” you sighed, and he heard the whisper of fabric as you sat up. “There’s nowhere but here for you and me.”

You were right. Of course you would be. Hands so thoroughly steeped with blood like his could have no other occupation.  

“So quit this rebellion of yours. It’s only going to kill you in the end and you know they don’t hold nice funerals for people like us.”

Jisung didn’t need to have this heart-to-heart with a criminal. He knew there was no getting out of this alive, let alone unscathed. Still, he had to try. He had to do something, anything, otherwise that bastard—

“Why are you even doing all this?”

Your question—perhaps prompted by his silence, or perhaps ignited by your curiosity—forced him to finally look at you and absorb the way the golden sunset bathed your skin. A divine halo for the most wicked of devils.

You were all too relaxed, head tilted back to regard him almost lazily, and somehow, for whatever reason, his heart skipped a beat. Or dropped to the pits of hell. It was a feeling that unsettled him either way, and Jisung found himself at a loss for words.

“I…”

Or maybe his words were so abundant that he didn’t know where to start, or whether it was even appropriate for him to say what was on his mind. You seemed to notice too, for you let out a humored huff, “Well, whatever it is, I can tell you don’t actually want to get yourself killed.”

“Of course not,” he stated a bit too roughly, fists curling into themselves as he gritted out his frustration, “I’m just—”

He was helpless. There was nothing he could do to resolve his situation without hurting his sister, and he couldn’t bear for his days to go on without change either.

“I see,” you murmured when he lapsed into silence again. He didn’t know what exactly you ‘saw’, but he supposed reading others came with your job description.

You rose to your feet and dusted off your burgundy coat as though your business was concluded. Without so much as another glance his way, you turned for the rooftop’s door, imparting onto him a few last words that had clearly, very easily, seen entirely through him.

“What you are is angry, Han Jisung. Make use of it.”

There was that twisted feeling in his chest again.

Jump.

•⭓•

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing in this house?!”

The beer can, intended for Jisung’s head, clanged against the paving that led to the house. The assault did not deter Jisung, and he shouted back, “You used it all for your fucking drugs didn’t you? I gave that money to Mina!”

The assailant heaved with drunken anger. Once upon a time, Jisung knew him as his stepfather, but this man was no more than a stranger, now. He had lost himself to alcohol and narcotics after his wife’s abandonment and grew to resent her son as though it were his sworn duty.

His hatred was something that Jisung didn’t care for too much. He was an adult and had no reason to associate himself with this deteriorating household anymore. A luxury, yet he kept returning to this family because of her.

“That money wasn’t yours,” Jisung snarled, “Give it back.”

“You son of a bitch—!” the man's face reddened, as though he were choking on his own words. “I told you not to come here again! We don’t need your filthy money—”

“Right,” Jisung had to let out a bitter laugh. “That’s why you had to take the money I gave to my sister—”

“She’s not your sister!”

The shout should’ve rattled him, but Jisung stood his ground as his stepfather descended, fuming, hands outstretched as if to catch him by the collar and strangle him. He spat like a sputtering kettle, “I don’t want to hear her name coming from your mouth ever again—”

“Damn, you’re really insecure, huh?”

That voice did not belong in their family’s front yard, and it brought immediate quiet upon them. Jisung’s head snapped up, his heart sinking.

What the hell are you—

“Who the fuck are you?” his stepfather demanded, faltering in his angry steps as he glared at the intruder wandering into their property. Jisung could only watch, helpless, because he couldn’t simply exclaim at his boss’ face to leave.

“My name is Y/n,” you provided, a pleasant, yet utterly bland smile on your face as you walked up to the swaying drunkard. A black business card seemingly materialized between your fingers and you held it out to him, introducing yourself further, “I’m a general manager at House of Cosmos. Nice to meet you.”

“What the— How did you get in here? This is private property!” he hissed, completely ignoring your outstretched hand, and Jisung saw the masked disdain in your gaze grow. Disinterested, you dropped your business card on the ground and pointed behind you, shrugging, “Door’s wide open.”

And it was. The gate to their property was unlocked and yawning on its old hinges. Still, that didn’t explain your presence.

“Anyway, I’m here for my colleague,” you remarked, casually slinging an arm around Jisung’s shoulders and lying through your teeth with such terrifying ease. “You see, I offered to drive him to the company barbeque so I came by, but then—"

“I don’t care. Get out, both of you,” his stepfather interjected forcefully and you ceased your story making, letting go of Jisung’s stunned form with a scrunch of your nose and a mutter, “Huh...”

The man seemed to lean to his left a bit too steeply, a bit too slowly, slurring and struggling with this words, “A-And if I see your… face around here again—I s-swear I’ll—Argh—!”

The thud of his body against the yellowing grass was quiet.

A beat passed, then—

“I guess all that alcohol caught up to him, huh?” you murmured and Jisung stared, eyes like glass, at the limp body of the man he loathed more than anybody else. The cause and very source of all his misery and turmoil, motionless for once in his worthless life.

What the hell just happened—?  

“Hello?” your voice was muffled through the fog in his mind as you called emergency services. “A man collapsed in front of us—I think from a stroke… Yeah… Middle-aged, I believe. Okay. We’re at 11B street, Villa 1053C…”

No. No. No!

Jisung’s breaths were coming too short, his vision too dark.

He’s dead? How can he be dead? I didn’t even touch him—

“Okay. We’ll do that. Thank you.”

You ended the call and he spun to face you, grabbing your arms in manic desperation as he gasped, “They’re going to arrest us now— They’ll think I did it—!”  

You seemed all too slow to react to his outburst, wriggling out of his grasp with a dispassionate sigh, “Relax. You’ve got witnesses.”

“Witnesses?” he stepped back. “Who exactly?”

You furrowed your brows at him as if confused by his panic, then pointed at yourself, “Me.”

At the corner of the house, “the camera.”

Then somewhere above the two of you, “and her.”

Jisung’s gaze followed your finger to the window on the second floor and met the wide eyes of his sister gaping down at the scene. He realized, with a pang, that she had seen it all transpire despite every effort he’d made to keep her away from their fights all these years.

“Anyway, you know some first aid right?” you crouched next to his stepfather’s body, beckoning with your hand, “Come help me—”

“What are you really doing here?”

Jisung’s question made you stop and frown at him again, answering like it were the most obvious thing, “I’m here for you. Did I not say that?”

You did say that, but it made no sense and he was pretty sure it was a lie made to trick his stepfather.  

“You weren’t picking up and I was nearby,” you told him simply. “Now, If you’re done with your questions, come help.”

“I…see.”

Again, that feeling nagged at him.

Jump.

•⭓•

Two men in smart black suits halted in their steps when Jisung passed by, making way as they greeted him, “Good morning, VP.”

“G’morning,” he raised his free hand in a half-wave when he returned the greeting. In Jisung’s other hand was a hefty weight he’d been dragging across the floor. It left a faint red trail behind him, but he didn’t care much. Their janitor wasn’t going to be cleaning anything anytime soon, anyway.

He smiled at the two guards and dropped the body at their feet. “Take care of this for me, will you?”  

“Yes, sir.”

Feeling much lighter, Jisung resumed his way to his original destination. He was supposed to be there seven minutes ago, but there had been a minor distraction on his little trip. His tardiness wouldn’t be an issue, though, but the smudged blood on his gloves was, most definitely, unacceptable.

With a sigh, he pulled off his gloves and shoved them into the inner pockets of his blazer. It was a shame, truly. He really tried to make as little a mess as possible this time.

Jisung reached his destination and knocked on the polished door, pushing it open before getting his answer.

“You’re late,” you stated immediately upon his stepping into your office.

“Sorry,” he said as he shut the door behind him. “Caught a rat in the janitor’s closet.”

“Another one, huh?” you chuckled like it were a joke and not an attempt at your life, once again. Jisung clenched his jaw to bite back his frustrations.

You were lying haphazardly on one of the couches in your vast office. Feet propped up against the backrest and your head nearly dangling off the edge. Jisung didn’t know which was worse—your shoes against the leather or the fact that you were supposed to be recovering in bed today.

Farther towards the tall windows, someone else stood gazing out at the city with disinterest. Not once did he turn back to acknowledge Jisung’s entry, likely too unbothered to expend the effort, but that was to be expected of the Right Claw. Second only to the Boss, Seo Changbin wouldn’t even take more breaths than he was absolutely required to.

Jisung shut away the disappointment that flooded his chest at seeing him.

“You asked for me?” he questioned once he stood near the couch and you looked up at him from where you lay, grinning. Only then did he notice the pristine envelope in your grasp.

“Come take a look. It’s an invitation from the Prince of the Underworld.”

Jisung received the envelope from you and took out its one page contents. The letter was short, simple, and made his blood boil instantly.

Your voice sounded from behind the paper. “What do you think?”

“I think he’s either stupid or stupidly full of himself to order you around,” he said, and he was cooler and calmer than he’d imagined himself to be because in all honesty, Jisung wanted to tear the paper to shreds then set it all ablaze.

And after what those bastards did…

He folded the letter and slipped it back into its envelope. The so-called Prince of the Underworld was an audacious man, but this was an opportunity and Jisung was going to catch it by the tail. “I’ll go.”

“No,” you didn’t miss a beat. “We’ll go together.”

“Why? I can give him a piece of my mind just fine.”

You were silent to his protest, but the sudden darkness that shadowed your gaze screamed louder than any voice could. And Jisung heard it.

His emotions ran impossibly hotter, his whisper so chillingly low.

“So… Jeongin found something.”

“Yes,” you smiled and it made him crumble inside.

That wasn’t satisfaction or excitement. It was pain and old suffering that quirked your lips, and it had been that way for a while now.

He hated it.

He despised it so much that it sickened him to his very core.

So, Jisung allowed your desire for revenge to consume him whole. This mantle wasn’t his own, yet he carried its heavy weight on his shoulders because he was willing to do anything. A world that dimmed the spark in your eyes was a world that ought to be damned.

And so, he let that angry flame burn.

Your orders were soft, not at all demanding, “That’s why we’ll both go entertain the little prince.”

Jump.

Jisung relented. “As you wish.”

How high?

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Thank you for reading this far! I'm so sorry this one got delayed a bunch, but I hope it was an enjoyable read anyway. A reblog and any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I hope you have a spectacular day, and I'll see you next week (hopefully) with the fifth chapter! ♡

[goth-mami-writer]

🩷Subservient🩷

~(AU) Kento Nanami × f!reader one-shot. ⚠️(18+, smut warning)⚠️

~POV: You were placed into an arranged marriage with Nanami, and he comes home late while being wounded~

(!!Not my art!! Artist credit- TWT: @ ayushnz)

《 You kept your back turned when you heard him come in that night. You were fed up, if that even sufficed your feelings enough. He came in at all hours of the night if he even bothered to come home at all. And here you sat. Bound and dutiful to his every need. Dinner was cold, matching your attitude as you stood in the kitchen, putting what was left of the meal into the refrigerator.

You had been arranged in marriage to Kento for nine months now and your parents wanted you to be an obedient, loving wife. And you were. Kento wasn't cruel or treated you cruelly as you lived together now. Actually, he was kind and you were grateful that the union you'd been placed into wasn't miserable but the love was certainly taking its time.

Now, your parents wanted to know why there wasn't a baby on the way. The answer was simple.

He was never here long enough to even mistakenly get you pregnant.

When you heard him drawing closer to the kitchen, your discontent only grew and your lip quivered not to tell him that you were ready to talk to a lawyer and tell both of your parents to go to hell if they wanted better of you.

But his briefcase hit the floor in a thud.

You turned with a startled spin to see him clutching his bloodied torso and you dove forward through the kitchen to meet him. You swore with your eyes widened in fear and you told him harshly as you applied a kitchen towel to his weeping gash,

“I told you. I fucking told you this would happen.”

He winced when you applied pressure, and his mouth tightened to tell you with his best attempt at staying civil amid your reprimand of his actions,

“I had it under control. Ungf- I just need to clean this some more and let it heal.”

“I've called you nearly all night-” You said, trying not to be so heartless even as you were so hurt that he'd let this happen.

“And you see…why I couldn't answer?” He replied, doing his best not to argue as the pain coursed through his body.

You shook your head, wondering how he didn't need stitches. Slowly, you helped him up the stairs to nurse his wound in your ensuite bathroom, where you kept the small stock of bandages and other supplies. You had him sit on the edge of the tub while you nonchalantly stripped him of the bloodstained shirt.

Trying not to blush from seeing the bare skin beneath his button-up, you ran cool water over a cloth to begin cleaning him. He flinched, seeing that you were about to kneel in the floor for him in nothing but your thin nightgown and robe, making him stutter in pain to notice your selflessness for him,

“Darling- I can stand up.”

You urged him to relax and you knelt in front of him to begin dabbing the cloth to blot away the red blood painting his skin. He knew you must have been moments away from hating him and you were entitled to the feeling. He was never here and when he was, he carried himself like that of a ghost that moved room to room undetected and unheard. Now, here he was an hour past midnight, barging in wounded and helpless.

Softly, trying to be gentle, you administered a disinfectant to his clean gash after applying what little you knew of adhesive sutures. You stuck on a more stable bandage that wrapped around his torso and even shook a pill into your hand for him to take for pain. His eyes softened in awe of what he was witnessing when you pressed the wrinkles away from his gauze and he knew now that arranged into this marriage or not, there was love between you.

He reached down at a moment when he knew you didn't need one hundred percent of your focus. His rough hand took you by the underneath of your chin in a grip, and he bent down to place his lips on yours in a kiss. Your body shook in delight, never having a kiss so spontaneous as this one before, and it warmed your entire body to experience. You kissed at your wedding, of course, and you kissed on your honeymoon while you… consummated your marriage, but kissing wasn't a part of your routine as a pair.

Slowly, he pulled away, telling you with a firmness as his voice remained low to compensate for pain,

“You're giving too much. You had every right to tell me to fend for myself with this. Why didn't you?”

His face was reddened from the kiss but he waited for an answer. Your eyes blinked in the silent search to find it before the truth slipped out on your own,

“I married you. I have to take care of you-”

“I leave you alone and abandon you in my house, yet you remain a subservient wife. I want you to tell me why?” Kento asked, nearly demanding an answer with soft eyes.

Your lip quivered, knowing that your sincere answer wouldn't be easy to tear away from your throat but you told him with a sputter as your insides felt exposed now of how much you did care for him,

“....you're a good man. You're a shit, absent husband that does the bare minimum most of the time but you're a good man. And…I do love you..more than just what my parents want me to.”

He was struck by the honesty and his jaw clenched in knowing that there just wasn't anything he'd done to deserve devotion like that. Not from someone who was practically a stranger who was shoved into a room to acquaint with before being married. Now that the cards were dealt, he'd been given a good wife and it was time for him to start goddamn acting like it.

After making sure his new wrapping was secure around him, he picked you up to lock your legs around him. He pulled you into a kiss before you could register his next move but you melted. You welcomed him into you but noticed he was moving to the bed outside of the ensuite.

You were worried he was trying to over exert himself after just being hurt and you pulled away to tell him amidst your kiss that you weren't going to risk hurting him further. He lied you to the bed, already breathless and he said while taking down your thin underwear from under your gown,

“You don't need to do anything.”

Your mouth fell agape to see his head ducking down now between your legs that had opened for him almost involuntarily once his mouth met your pussy. His knees planted into the carpet as he was the one kneeling down now and he began to eat you out carelessly and open on your bedspread. His tongue swathed and his head jerked and bobbed for what you liked to feel.

He used your sounds and twitches to guide him along but he took his time and let his working tongue find it's way across your clit that throbbed for him. You moaned loudly and realized that he'd never done this since you two became married and you had never expected him to. Your love making was very cut and dry to make each other cum with short foreplay leading to casual penetration. Oral was never involved.

You held his head, making his eyes close to know that your body was liking it. But after months of feeling unseen, you felt adorned and worshiped under his tongue that flitted so deliciously. Your back arched, and your eyes closed tightly to his sensations, and he watched your every move from below. The strap to your nightgown began slipping, and with a jerk, he tugged the bodice of it down entirely to let your soft chest be free for his viewing as he consumed you.

“Ugh-Yes..! Yes..!” You moaned with your eyes half lidded.

Your trembling hands clutched at your nipples, making Nanami grunt in want to see you touching yourself so wanton during your pleasure. You raised your head up, needing to watch as he delighted you, and he made a soft little show now that your eyes were on him. The tip of his tongue flicked side to side to show you how much he knew of your body's need for pleasure even if this wasn't a favor he'd ever given you.

“I'll cum, Kento...!” You whined as your knees began to shake, making him rest your weary legs across his shoulders, allowing his hands reach below you to pillow your pelvis more comfortably as he ate.

“Moan for me when you cum, darling. I want to hear it.” He said with his face wet with your arousal and you wriggled from the heat it gave just by a look.

When his lips circled around your small sweet spot to gently suck and massage with his mouth, your orgasm began building and you begged him not to stop. You heard his belt unbuckling, and you knew just by the sudden movements of his arm that he was pumping his cock in strokes as he continued to drive you over the edge. You felt a chill knowing he was pleasuring himself to your needful orgasm and his eyes spoke of pleading words that asked you to please, please cum.

Your eyes shut tightly and Kento felt you throb softly to the very center of your sensitive clit and your loud, calling voice cried what he wanted to hear. You didn't have to call his name but you bellowed it into the dark of your bedroom repeatedly as you rode the waves of your pleasure. He moaned for the first time as his tongue circled and cleaned your body with care. He would pull away, thinking he'd had his last taste but his mouth would often return like an impulse to let your flavor ride his tongue once more.

He kissed your wet thighs as you climbed down from your high and you watched his large hands wrap around them lovingly and sweet before his gaze fell back up to you. Gently your hand tussled his light hair, inviting him upwards to get some air and he stood before wiping his wet face with a cloth. You didn't care if he was still slick with your climax or not when you pulled his mouth to your own.

The kiss was slow and lulling as you realized that he cared far more than he actually let on. You thought those many late nights were a good indication of his attention, but you saw now that perhaps you could be wrong.

He wanted you to keep lying to his bed and he brought your hands to his face when he mentioned with a solemness as his next words sounded like a vow being promised,

“You deserve…to be made love to every single night. And any man that gives you less, shouldn't have put the ring on your hand. I've been a very neglectful husband and I hope you can have patience with me to mend what I've done.”

You kissed his mouth tenderly and said realizing that maybe after this night you'd have a subservient spouse instead of one that might as well only exist on paper. He rested his forehead against yours as your lips parted and you mentioned facetiously with half lidded eyes,

“I don't mind being left alone. But you could atleast do something like get me pregnant to pass the time?”

He always enjoyed your sense of humor and his mouth curled into a smile. He nodded to tell you as he joined both your hands sweetly, hearing your wedding rings knock together as your fingers intertwined,

“We'll certainly work on it.” 》

Send me more JJK submissions to my ask box for more! ♡

[teabreakpancakes]

10:27 LUCHINO DIRUSE X MALE! RESEARCHER! READER

Genre: Fluff

wc: 4164 

a shitty synopsis: at 10:27, luchino diruse makes his appearance once more after disappearing. greeted with an open lab, he meets the person who's been waiting for him all this time.

The soft drum of your fingers against the wooden table could be heard throughout the facility, accompanying the ticking clock and the soft rain that drizzled. The quiet night left for much pondering for a researcher such as yourself, one driven with as much curiosity as your now missing partner. A soft yet heavy sigh passed your lips, ‘Just where on earth are you professor? And why did you not care to inform me of your travels’. You could only let out one small pitiful laugh, he cared for you enough to leave a key to his residence, to his lab, to his files in your hands—the research he poured his whole soul into. He cared for you enough to spare time to spend with you but he couldn’t bring himself to tell you that he would depart to who knows where.

It was laughable really, the professor had his way of putting you through emotional turmoil, the one thing deemed unfitting in a world where cold hard proof held jurisdiction over everything you had known; the professor was cruel for this. How was breaking you down to this mess of a person “kind” in any way whatsoever?. The professor you knew was warm—he had been this way with you, so it was the assumption that he’d been this way with others. 

Your eyes trailed over the countless pieces of paper that littered the table, the documents consisting of your own and the professor’s. It irked you to notice that there was a stark difference between his and your own handwriting, you could distinctly hear his “mocking words” regarding the matter. He had told you that it was charming in its own right—sure, leave it to the man with impeccable handwriting comparable to the font of the daily paper, he had found it so amusing too! He fought so hard to stifle his laughter and yet the bastard’s eyes were still smiling.

Scoffing, you shook your head with a feeling of resignation, thinking of the professor would only set you back on your research. Knowing that you could do nothing but wait for him to come back left you feeling helpless, who knows what could’ve happened to him, was it even guaranteed that he was still alive?. Such thoughts always creeped up on you, disrupting your carefully managed routine.

You raised your hand to your face, nearly rubbing your eyes with your ink-covered fingers. ‘Had I not noticed that the ink leaked beforehand?’ you thought, your eyes beelining for the ticking clock on the wall, “10:27pm… the fatigue must be catching up with me” you mumbled. Your light footsteps seemed deafening as you walked through the empty laboratory, you had almost wished that his floors were wooden instead of the glazed cement.

The door to the bathroom creaked a bit once you began to push it open, shutting with a push of your foot but not without producing a thud that went unheard by the person nearing the room.

—

Luchino treads the path leading to his laboratory with unhurried steps under his umbrella, under the assumption that no one would be there after the search parties halted their activities after two weeks. This part of the university was desolate, a far cry from the tame liveliness before his “disappearance”. 

It was oddly quiet; usually around this time of the night, you could still hear the faint sounds of people moving around within the labs within the area. The university was home to many night owls and people that seemed to not have the word “rest” within their dictionaries.

He returned because he had forgotten the papers detailing all of his discoveries regarding the venomous reptile that had been his fixation. Of course, he would say that this was his sole reason but secretly, he’d been hoping to catch a glimpse of his co-worker. It’s been a while since he saw the man, he wonders if his friend ever found the letter he left him.

He squints slightly when the door to his laboratory comes into view, steps slightly increasing in pace until he breaks out into a short jog. He reaches out to the doorknob, expecting his door to still be locked, only for it to open without a hitch. His slowly forming forked tongue licks at his sharpening canines, eyes glimmering with something akin to wonder—laced thinly with malice when he ponders upon what they might be doing at his personal laboratory. There were many vacant laboratories on campus, it wasn’t as if the university was short with them.

Luchino steps into his lab, closing the door behind him carefully so that he doesn’t alert his “intruder”. The only people with keys to his lab were him, you, and the janitor; he doubts it was you, you had your own laboratory on campus, you always preferred to work within your own space so it wouldn’t make sense for you to enter his lab.

His eyes keen with interest when they spot papers scattered over a table. Taking long strides towards the table, he inspects them, not recognising them as his own. Brown eyes widen slightly in realisation, “This is his handwriting..” he trails off, bringing the page close to his face for close inspection. The wet ink stains left on the paper didn’t bother him, showing no care for the inky marks left on his hand as he read what you wrote.

A smile graced his face as he realised that you were here, in his lab. He wondered if there was a possibility that you missed him just as much as he had missed you. His other hand rested on the table, supporting his weight as he read your observations—your thoughts regarding the strange reptile that bit him. Such a hard worker you were, he wondered if you had gotten any sleep these past weeks. 

The sound of a door opening alerted the tall man, his eyes darting past the paper to land on your form.

—

The silence was deafening, it was as if time had stopped its passage. Your eyes met those warm coffee coloured orbs that you had yearned to see. Your mouth parted slightly, the countless words you wished to say jammed within your throat. Your hands trembled, moving to cover your mouth. Were you hallucinating? Or was he really there before you? 

You swallow down your hesitation, and before the man before you can utter a word, you cut him to the chase. “Have I gone insane or is it really Luchino Diruse standing before me?” you spoke, taking slow strides towards the suspected symptom of psychosis. 

“And what if you really have gone insane? Does this open the possibility of you longing to see your friend?” he jests, eyes tinged with that touch of mischief that you had grown to be fond of and something else you couldn’t quite decipher. You fought the urge to roll your eyes; his response made it painfully obvious that it was the latter scenario instead of the former.

You stand on the other side of the table, staring down the man before you as if to silently demand an explanation. He eyed you with a warm gaze, shaking his head with a chuckle. “Allow me to form a conjecture, you haven’t opened your mailbox ever since the last time I came over haven’t you” he foretold, already aware of the fact that he was right. 

You blinked once, and then twice, before your eyes finally drifted away to instead temporarily wander the room. Luchino carded through his locks, smiling softly at your sheepish display, You hadn’t changed at all these past few years. His eyes wandered over your frame; you were free of the lab coat you usually wore, clad in more casual clothing that fitted within your usual choice of fashion. His eyes traced over the smallest details of your face to make note of any change, narrowing upon noting that the circles under your eyes that had grown darker and your pasty complexion. “Now,” he began, slowly making his way to the other side of the room as if to examine the spotless and polished equipment.  “It’s not as if I would expect that an erudite person such as yourself would not know of the recommended amount of sleep for humans, but again and again, you have always proven that you show no concern for your own well-being” he sighed, oh-so familiar with your style of living, hiding a small smile when he comes to the conclusion that you’ve been tidying his lab for him in his absence.

Your gaze trailed towards the man before you, head cocking to the side as you raised an eyebrow. “It’s the same as always” you admitted blandly, cracking your knuckles on your left hand as you stared at that reliable back. “I’m assuming, based on your previous statement, that you had left something in my mailbox correct? And, you can’t be one to talk, you seem to have sustained an injury as well” you quickly added whilst gesturing to the bandage on his head, not wanting a lecture about your health that you’ve heard countless times before, especially from someone that visibly presented a sign of “damage”.

Luchino, already used to your style of conversation, simply goes with the change of topic. He turns on his heel, wearing a relaxed look on his face as he approaches you. “Granted, I did leave a message for you, one you had evidently missed despite my constant reminders, but onto another matter, one of great interest that will unveil my purpose for running off so abruptly,” he raised a hand to the bandage, “and I assure you, this will make up for my lack of warning” he added, admitting to his undeserved crime that you had been the suspect of.

Before you could make any remarks, let alone any sound, he tore off the bandage with a graceful yet swift movement of his wrist. He unveiled the emerald coloured scales forming on his temple, gleaming under the light. 

Your mouth parted and after a few seconds of recollection you had managed to stammer something out. “W, What on earth happened? You must explain this instant professor”. “This,” he pointed to the scales, “Is the result of me nearing the truth we have attempted to unveil—to piece together” he explained, eyes hazed with something closer to madness rather than fulfilment, and yet still, you continued to listen to what would sound like the ramblings of a madman to others.

You would ought to assume that any normal person would be repulsed by his enthusiasm, just as those of which that followed the church as if the words spoken by their fellow humans could be trusted under the guise of originating from their maker. Any other sane person grounded by such principles would be expected to react in such a manner but you weren’t one of those people. You stared at him as if every word he uttered was of utmost importance, as if he would disappear once more if you looked away. 

The professor that rambled before you had begun to discuss his findings, his eyes glimmering with unparalleled passion. “It seems that upon being bitten by the reptile, its venom caused a genetic mutation within me. Interestingly enough, when it bit the rat in my initial experimentation, nothing had occurred—” he began, diving into a one-sided discussion that seemed to go deeper and deeper with each topic opened. Surely enough, the scene had once more taken the picturesque form of memories dating back to when the two of you had first begun to work together.

With masked enamour you listened intently, the ticking clock holding no influence over your interest. The man before you paused amidst his ramble session, eyes taking in the sight of you, a sight he’d never tire of. 

A sigh so harrowing escaped the professor’s lips, causing you to perk up in slight alarm. Silence blanketed the room once more and neither of you were willing to speak up. Luchino's solemn eyes drifted away from your figure momentarily. “Forgive me for halting my explanation so suddenly, it's just that my sentiments have overcome my will to do so” he trailed off, dragging his nimble fingers along the table. Coffee coloured irises gaze into your own e/c eyes, “I missed this, what used to be routine halted until now—and I’m aware that I’m at fault for this. It was my absence that hindered us after all, it was just that.. Due to the circumstance of this transformation of mine, I fled without warning” he spoke self-deprecatingly, sending an uncertain smile your way. 

“Was it really necessary to leave?” you spoke with furrowed eyebrows, a flurry of emotions coursing through your veins. This man, your long-term friend and co-worker, had left so suddenly instead of simply talking through the issue with you. “Professor, with all due respect, I must ask, did you think that at that moment you wouldn’t be able to rely on me for aid?” you continued, a pang of hurt flashing on through your face. 

With widened eyes Luchino immediately waved his hand in dismissal, “Nonsense, I’ll have you know that you are my most trusted relation, I… I just, I thought I would burden you with something” he trailed off. He walked towards you, gently tilting your downcasted head up, “Don’t think that I don’t trust you, to tell you the truth, I feared your reaction to the mutations I would go through, this body of mine continues to change with time and perhaps in my pursuit, I would present the chance of harming you” he spoke earnestly, his other hand holding onto your own.

Your lips parted but no words came out, how would you even reply to that?. Your eyes lingered on his hand that dwarfed your own yet handled your hand as if you were porcelain and you couldn’t help but think that your hands fit so perfectly together. “Did you consider how worried i’d be once you disappeared” you mumbled, not meaning to let the other man overhear but of course, with his mutation came enhanced senses surpassing that of a normal human.

The professor’s shock was evident through his raised eyebrows, he didn’t attempt to fully conceal his growing smile either. Of course, before the man could utter a word, or revel in his discovery, you continued your sentence. “It is foolish to assume such a thing, did it not occur to you that it would be in your best interest to venture into an alternative approach accompanied by a person possessing knowledge in this topic? I am someone you’re well-acquainted with and yet I was not considered for such matters, granted you had your doubts but perhaps you’d like to account for damage control as well when conducting your projects” you continued in a deadpan manner, pinching the area between your eyebrows. 

Luchino’s smile fails to waver despite how sharp your words sounded, he was well-aware of your concern that you masked through blunt and piercing undertones. “Alright, I take responsibility for the results of my actions, there’s no need to rub it in my face so much” he feigns surrender, a smile evident from the rising lilt in his tone. With your disgruntled huff and his warm conversation, you both indulge in more menial topics about your lives whilst in each others’ absence.

The professor still exuded that air of professionalism despite him telling his own personal stories that friends would typically share over drinks. Even as you took him to your place, he still carried himself with elegance that rarely ever faltered.

Over dinner, the professor would pause and alternate his gaze between you and the various things that he may fixate on, seeming to hesitate over something. By the time you had gathered the plates for washing, he finally spoke up. “You know, I value you the most in my life right?” he begins, his tone tinged with uncertainty as he watches you take the plates to the sink for washing. “Mmh.. well, I as well” you replied, a small but uncontrollable smile gracing your lips, one he doesn’t see because you were facing away from him.

The professor smiled semi-bitterly, he wondered if you would be able to accept his following words. He was still unsure of whether or not this was the right time, whether or not he was willing to stake everything on this chance to finally tell you. You had never reciprocated his blatant flirting, every attempt he made beforehand seemed to fly over your pretty head. For the years you both had known each other, he had fallen for you without notice; It suddenly occurred to him that he had not valued anyone like he had valued you, that every day, he looked forward to seeing you, so much so that he had broken past your boundaries as co-workers. He had begun visiting your own laboratory and even reached the point of having frequented your own more than his. He slowly wormed his way into your quaint life, wanting to be a constant part of your day, wanting to etch the threads of his being into the fabrics of your existence like how you wove your own into his so seamlessly.

To him, this feeling that people dubbed as love, was something he hadn’t experienced until the day he met you. This emotion was something he simply read about, never believing in it until he had experienced it first-hand. To a man like him who always prioritised his pursuit of knowledge, to a man that has only ever experienced flings in the past, this emotion could only be summed up with the word “foreign”. His parents painted the picture of love for him and he grew up thinking that he would never experience the same love they both found in each other, such a thing occurring seemed closer to fiction than reality.

He knew what he felt, his experiences only ever served as proof of his affections towards you and despite society’s opinions and whatever nonsense they had to say, he couldn’t have cared less. Society was and has always been filled with those who could not accept the standing of others as long as they thought something didn’t conform to their expectations, attempting to conform to them would only make you a curly haired baboon that only possesses enough knowledge to look down upon others. 

The only thing that scared him was the chance of you reacting horribly. He wouldn’t hesitate to admit the fact that he would be devastated if he lost you. You were simply more than just the one he loved romantically, you were his family and his best friend: you were the sole person he’d allow himself to open up to completely without hiding any details. Just the sight of you would instantly ebb away all the negative in his life, your presence was something he’d consider a need instead of a want.

It wasn’t to the point that he was obsessive and reliant on your presence of course, he knows that such a thing is unhealthy. He worried about your well-being but he would never baby you as if you weren’t capable of caring for yourself. He admired your strengths in life; in a myriad of ways, you were a person worthy of praise. You kept to yourself but you never allowed others to trample upon you, you were kind to everyone regardless of their standing, treating them as equals no matter what. 

He didn’t wish to chain you to him, but he wished to stay by your side; to grow with you, to get old with you, to spend his most important moments and even those of little importance with you. He yearned to be someone important to you, more than just a friend and colleague.

He’d be damned if he didn’t even try to tell you.

In the case that it does not end well, he’d likely disappear for good, perhaps he’d live in solitude until the end of his life. His only wish would be that you still considered him someone that held importance to you at one point in your life, he would never want you to forget him entirely, he just wants you to remember him in some way, be it through his work or anything else if it ends tonight.

All those years ago when I told my mother that loving someone was the hardest thing I've ever done, I never would have expected that it would be as easy as breathing Luchino sighed, shaking his head in a self-deprecating manner. 

________

You put away the last dish into the cupboard, drying your hands on a towel. You walked into the living room, eyes landing on your friend’s slumped form. You poked his back gently, jostling him awake from his deep thoughts. Sitting down next to him, you could only raise an eyebrow at his current state.

Luchino exhales, raising his head to finally face you. He briefly focuses on how your knee is touching his own before staring into your eyes. “Listen (Name), I would like to tell you something and I find that this is a matter more nerve-wracking than my very first lecture” he chuckled dryly, his hand moving to gently hold one of your own. Your eyes widen slightly and he feels your hand tense before relaxing and reciprocating the gentle grip he had.

“I, I had always thought that in this life, I would not find anyone to love, that perhaps I would be lonely, but upon meeting you, I had found not only a friend I would like to spend time with, but someone I yearned to see every day,” his voice trembled, Luchino swallowed down his nerves and you simply squeezed his hand in comfort. “Throughout the years we’ve spent together, be it as friends or colleagues, you’ve grown to be my biggest comfort in life, and I, I have never felt this way for anyone or anything and I have felt this way for more than two years and I’m sorry if you feel disgusted or uncomfortable in any way, but I know, I, I know that what I feel for you is genuine, in the eyes of many it may be what they consider a sin in life but loving you, is as easy as breathing, loving you has brought me unparalleled joy that I never would have thought existed in this life and I’ll be damned if I don’t tell you how I truly feel for you, so if you wish for me to leave or if you wish for me to stay, please tell me right now” he continues, voice uncharacteristically rising and falling in tremors. It was a first for him to be like this, even when he first presented in a room filled with people, he never shook like this. The man before you seemed so vulnerable at this moment, embarrassed and even scared. His eyes were downcast as if he were awaiting for his sentence to be dealt by you, the judge.

Your smile was soft and although your heartbeat reached an alarming pace, you were overjoyed. You took both of his hands into your own, tracing patterns into the subtly shaking limbs. Seeing as it didn’t provide enough assurance, one of your hands hesitantly cupped his face. His eyes met yours, crystally brown meeting your own irises. 

It felt so right to hold his face. The warm flush on your face complemented his own, his teary eyes made your heart ache. Knowing this man felt the same for you and knowing that he loved you to that extent was likely the biggest honour you’ve been bestowed in this life.

“And what if I wish for you to stay here with me until the end of my days? What if I've felt the same for just as long as you have?” you replied, voice soft as both of your hands caressed his cheeks. Luchino couldn’t help but cry out of relief, wrapping his arms around you to pull you in for a hug. You didn’t let yourself be shocked for too long, patting his back as his tears dripped down your neck.

You shed a few tears of your own, but this time, it wasn’t because you feared that you’d never be able to tell him how you felt, it wasn’t because you were pining for him. It was because mercy still existed in this world, that you had managed to meet the love of your life and received the same from him.

Perhaps hardships awaited you both, but you knew that you’d be capable of handling anything, much more so now that he would be by your side. 

Your house was tranquil, just like any other day, but this time, it bore resemblance to a home.

[koishua]

sha'ban and his mother alaa's murderers still walk on their two feet while people scramble to find their missing limbs. his pictures from before show his spotless and glowing face and the last we see of him is him burning into a charred piece of flesh. he was going to become a software engineer. he was my age. he had a future. they were burned to death and we could only see them because there were people to document it. even more atrocious crimes are committed elsewhere where no one is there too see or live long enough to tell. glory to the day palestinians celebrate their victory with the boisterous sounds of laughing children. on the day of judgement, they will have the whole world as their witness.

i feel so distraught because why is no one talking about the people of this country anymore. please don't get tired. please don't forget that you have the precious right to feel tired and the ability to rest. if only i had a bigger platform and a bigger ladder to step on, but this is as far as my voice can reach for now. please don't forget. please don't get tired. i understand how everyone has lives of their own and problems they face on the daily, be it financially or with their health and well-being of all forms or more, but the least you can do is not forget.

those who have been chased out of their home countries to an oppressive figure know the sorrow more than others ever could so please, do at least the very least. those who have faced the threat of imminent and violent death can understand. please don't forget those starving, those aching, those fighting, those murdered, those burned, those shot, those raped, those beaten, those tortured, those swept away, those bombed, those children, those women, those men, those helpless to the power of evil, those crumbling under pressure, those truly oppressed, those breaking tooth and nail to keep moving forward in life, those reaching out for help.

please lend and use your voice for those unheard and shushed. please make a sound for those who can't for themselves. please don't waste it on people who have more money and opportunities than they give.

[letteredlettered]

arranged20??

This answer is also for @nanavn, who asked about the same thing!

This is a fic I really, really hope to finish writing. I wrote 44,293 already. I love it and I'm proud of it. But it's an MDZS/CQL fic, and my head is living in TGCF right now, and I also want to make time for original fic, so who knows when I will get to it?

This fic is wangxian. That's the only pairing, though I guess background LXC/NMJ.

In ancient China, marriage between men was a thing, the way it was in many ancient cultures, but I didn't really do a lot of research on that for the fic. One central premise of the fic, though, is that marriage between men is not unheard of and can be used for political alliances. Homophobia still exists in this world, because I actually think it's rather important to some of the premises of this book.

The fic is an AU after WWX dies at the burial mounds. Another basic premise is that JGS begins to realize JGY is a threat, so he watches closely and doesn't die in an orgy. In order to keep JGY in check, JGS recognizes Mo Xuanyu as Jin Xuanyu. Meanwhile, JGS is more careful about consolidation of power--for instance, JGY has not dared sabotage NMJ. Instead, the Jin Sect has slowly expanded such that the other sects can feel the heat, and everyone is waiting for things to boil over.

This is an arranged marriage fic. At the start of the fic, Jin Sect finally makes a move that will undermine and discredit the Lan Sect. Lan Xichen knows what JGS is looking for--to either chip away at Lan influence or gain Lan fealty. LXC feels that the only way to secure their position is to marry into the Jin Sect. LWJ refuses to let his brother throw himself away on a loveless marriage, because the man LXC loves is alive and also threatened (even without his qi being sabotaged, NMJ's qi is still unstable). Believing that WWX won't return, LWJ demands that he go through with the marriage himself, and because LWJ is super stubborn and LXC isn't great at standing up to him, LXC acquiesces.

The marriage is of course to Jin Xuanyu. LWJ doesn't really know Jin Xuanyu except for having met a few times in passing. On the day of their wedding, Jin Xuanyu excuses himself from the wedding feast, claiming to be ill.

Here is an excerpt, taking place when LWJ checks on Jin Xuanyu after the wedding banquet!

Lan Wangji nodded and entered the residence, where a strange odor assaulted his senses and Jin Xuanyu stood in the middle of the room, holding a thick sheaf of papers and a shocked expression. “Lan Zhan!” he exclaimed.

Lan Wangji looked at Jin Xuanyu’s arm, which was now behind Jin Xuanyu’s back, hiding the sheaf of papers. Deciding to prioritize, Lan Wangji didn’t ask about it. Jin Xuanyu was extremely pale. “Are you all right?”

“Me?” Jin Xuanyu said blankly. “Oh, I’m quite . . . oh, terrible.” He began to cough. “I’m terrible, Hanguang-jun.”

“I brought you food,” Lan Wangji said, moving farther into the room. The scent in the air was familiar, but Lan Wangji could not place it.

Jin Xuanyu had not moved. “Hanguang-jun,” he said. Then he said it again. “Hanguang-jun.”

Lan Wangji put the tray on the table and stood.

“I . . .” Jin Xuanyu seemed quite at a loss. Then he said, in a quiet voice, “Are we really married?”

Lan Wangji stared, at a loss as well.

“It’s just . . .” Jin Xuanyu made a helpless gesture with his hand.

Lan Wangji, speaking very carefully, said, “You were at the ceremony.”

Jin Xuanyu grimaced. “Right . . .” He made another face. “It’s just so . . .”

Jin Xuanyu stood there for so long, unspeaking, that Lan Wangji finally stepped toward him.

“Never mind, Hanguang-jun!” Speeding over to the table, keeping the papers behind his back, Jin Xuanyu looked down at the tray. “Is it from the wedding banquet?” he said quickly. “Is it something good?”

Lan Wangji eyed him warily, remembering the Jin plots he had considered earlier. “Plain soup.”

Jin Xuanyu’s face fell. “Really?”

“You were unwell,” Lan Wangji reminded him.

“Oh. Right.” Jin Xuanyu coughed a few times.

In spite of his pallor, the way Jin Xuanyu was coughing did not appear genuine, and he seemed otherwise well. Even if he was sick, his current condition did not seem poor enough to warrant desertion of his own wedding banquet, and no illness Lan Wangji could imagine would cause a person to post a guard outside the door.

Keeping the papers out of sight behind him, Jin Xuanyu leaned down, uncovering the bowl on the tray and taking a whiff. “Unf. It really is plain. There at least should be good food, considering what I’ve been through.”

Jin Xuanyu did not seem inclined to share what he had ‘been through,’ but the papers were obviously connected. “Shall I fetch something else?” Lan Wangji asked, keeping his tone polite.

Wincing, Jin Xuanyu straightened, then forced an uncomfortable little laugh. “No, Hanguang-jun, that’s . . . it’s fine.”

Unable to wait any longer for a reasonable explanation, Lan Wangji finally asked, “What are the papers?”

“Hm?”

Lan Wangji did not repeat himself. He thought that Jin Xuanyu had heard him very well.

“Oh.” Jin Xuanyu chuckled. “I suppose you mean these,” he said, whipping out the sheaf of paper from behind his back. “Well, let me tell you,” Jin Xuanyu went on, glancing at the papers himself. “These papers are . . . they’re . . . a diary,” he said suddenly. “Very private, Hanguang-jun. I’m going to burn them.”

The paper visible to Lan Wangji was covered in writing too small to read. Lan Wangji looked back to Jin Xuanyu. “I would not read your private writings.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t, Hanguang-jun,” Jin Xuanyu said, setting the sheaf of papers on the floor, then sitting down on it, before the soup. “You’ve always been so honorable. One can never be too careful, though. Prying eyes, you know.” Picking up the bowl, Jin Xuanyu began to eat, as though nothing in his behavior could be deemed at all suspicious or unusual.

Lan Wangji looked down at him, trying to decide what to do. That Jin Xuanyu was hiding things from him was obvious, and yet, Lan Wangji had rarely witnessed a guilty person seem so unconcerned with being caught. If Jin Xuanyu had in fact planned with other Jin Sect members to annihilate the Lan Clan from within, or if some other nefarious scheme were in play, surely a more subtle subterfuge would have been employed.

No, this behavior seemed a result of Jin Xuanyu’s own eccentricities, of which Lan Wangji was rapidly becoming aware that there were many. When Jin Xuanyu had first joined the Jin Clan at Golden Carp Tower, Lan Wangji had heard that the man was odd, but almost all the rumors had seemed to center around Jin Xuanyu’s sexual preferences, as far as Lan Wangji had been able to tell.

Perhaps he should have conducted more research into the nature of Jin Xuanyu’s character, not in the least because Jin Xuanyu was now slurping his soup in a most aggravating manner. He had handled himself with adequate decorum at the tea ceremony that afternoon. Perhaps within the privacy of the Jingshi, with his new husband, Jin Xuanyu felt it permissible to forgo etiquette.

“If you would like a private place for the papers,” Lan Wangji said, “I can provide a case and show you how to construct a locking talisman.”

“Ah, are we still talking about that?” Jin Xuanyu said, not looking up at him. “I told you, I’m burning them.”

Lan Wangji watched his husband eat for another moment or two. He really should sit with him, but to do so felt like a concession that Jin Xuanyu’s meal was normal and nothing at all strange was happening, when the fact was that Jin Xuanyu had been doing something in this room, something with the papers that he did not want Lan Wangji to know about. Perhaps it really was as innocent as updating his supposed ‘diary,’ but Lan Wangji doubted this.

The smell alone was cause for concern. When Lan Wangji focused on it, memories of the Sunshot Campaign surfaced—battlefields. Death. Corpses. But the room didn’t smell like death or rotting flesh. The odor was faintly metallic.

Lan Wangji spotted the smudge on the floor at the same time as he identified the scent.

Blood.

Walking a few steps, Lan Wangji bent down to inspect the floorboards he had only recently repaired. The stain was fresh, smudged as though hastily wiped away. The rest of the floor was clean, but such a small amount of blood would never cause the scent to be so noticeable. Straightening, Lan Wangji looked back at Jin Xuanyu, who was looking back at him, eyes wide as he lowered the bowl from his mouth.

“Were you cut?” Lan Wangji asked.

“No?” Jin Xuanyu did not sound certain about this.

“There is blood.”

“Ah, how strange.” Jin Xuanyu remained where he was.

“I smell it.”

“Ah, Hanguang-jun, so impressive, able to scent blood. You know, I would not share this fact,” Jin Xuanyu said brightly, wagging a finger at him. “They say that certain monsters are able to scent blood; it’s a nefarious talent.”

“Jin Xuanyu.”

“What? Oh. Yes?”

Lan Wangji looked at the floor, then back up at Jin Xuanyu. He was still pale, Lan Wangji saw. Blood loss.

“Well, what makes you think it’s mine, Hanguang-jun?” Jin Xuanyu asked, sounding petulant. “It could be anyone’s blood! You should keep your place cleaner. And more secure! Anyone could just come in here and bleed.”

Lan Wangji walked back to the table, took Jin Xuanyu by the arm, then pulled up. Jin Xuanyu squawked a loud protest, but Lan Wangji was stronger, forcing Jin Xuanyu from where he sat to reveal the papers that had been under him. Lan Wangji reached for them, and they abruptly caught fire.

Whirling, Lan Wangji turned back to look at Jin Xuanyu, who was lowering his hand, having just made a hand seal for fire—not a very effective one, Lan Wangji saw, turning back to the flames. The fire was feeble, already petering out. Lan Wangji waved his hand, expending very little spiritual power to extinguish it, but Jin Xuanyu was already rushing back, gathering the burnt papers to his chest. “I told you!” he exclaimed. “They’re my diary! You wouldn’t read another man’s diary, would you, Hanguang-jun? I thought you were honorable!”

“Tell me,” said Lan Wangji, through gritted teeth, “what is going on.”

“I’m . . .” Jin Xuanyu’s shoulders slumped. “Well, if you must know . . .”

Lan Wangji, waiting, abruptly realized he was furious. He had not had the time to process everything that had happened so far, all the ways that Jin Xuanyu was lying to him, setting actual fires in the Jingshi, cutting himself, hiding it—and they were married. Lan Wangji had married this man this morning, and Lan Wangji could not fully comprehend it. He could not recall feeling so blindly angry since he’d been a teenager; the mixture of hurt and absolute confusion felt exactly the same.

It felt exactly the same, and Lan Wangji suddenly, powerfully wished that Wei Ying was here, if only for Wei Ying to hurt him and confuse him that way again. At least that was a pain that Lan Wangji understood, and it had come from someone he loved. That this stranger could hold such power over Lan Wangji was only a result of the fact that they were married, and Lan Wangji had had his hopes, and now they were meant to live together, side by side, when Jin Xuanyu obviously had so little respect for him. It felt intolerable. It felt unfair.

Lan Wangji took a deep breath, then let it go.

“I was trying to cast a spell,” said Jin Xuanyu.

“With blood,” said Lan Wangji.

“Well, you see . . . it wasn’t exactly a polite spell.”

Lan Wangji put out his hand.

Jin Xuanyu looked down at it.

“The papers,” said Lan Wangji.

“No!” Jin Xuanyu clutched them closer. “These are my . . . notes. On how to do the spell, but it didn’t work. I’m . . . such a poor cultivator, you see.” Jin Xuanyu lit up suddenly. “That’s why I was casting the spell! It’s this body. It’s weak! And . . . small. The—my golden core is just . . . nothing to speak of. I could also be far better looking, don’t you agree?”

Lan Wangji did not know what he was talking about.

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fallen {Chapter Eighteen}

Alastor x (Fem)Reader

Warning: Mentions of abuse

I never thought I would give up on what I wanted most, and the realization of what I wanted was unobtainable, only made me feel worse. I was still left with so many questions, and a broken spirit. I hate not knowing, and not being able to remember anything doesn't make things any better.

It only leaves with stress, worry, and an immense amount of guilt. Stressed about my new residence in Hell, worry that I may never return to Heaven, and guilt for whatever I had done to land me here. I shouldn't have to feel any of this. I had felt it hundreds of times when I was alive, death, and being sent to heaven was suppose to erase all of that.

But now, it's like nothing has changed. I still feel so broken.

So, why not say yes to the deal Alastor had made me? Why not learn to become stronger, so I can protect myself against whatever is thrown at me? I'm so tired of feeling helpless. I won't do it anymore, I refuse to.

It's too bad my real appearance was a constant reminder of what I can no longer have.

"Isn't there a way you can make this permanent?" I ask Alastor, not taking my eyes off of my mirror. I had grown somewhat use to my false demonic form, honestly, seeing my true form was near jarring now. "Afraid not dear." Said Alastor.

"Though it is strange...If the good lord threw you out, why not have given you a true demon look to go along with your eternal damnation?" He asks. I furrow my brows. He had a good point. Why didn't God give me a demonic form?

Alastor had mentioned how valuable an angel was down here. How demons would do unspeakable things to get their hands on one, for their own sick desires. Was that part of my punishment? To be toyed with by a bunch of demons forever?

"I don't know." Is all I could say. "I just hate to hide like this. It makes me worried that this can all go away, the second the necklace is removed." Alastor shrugs. "It's the only way I can help you stay hidden in plain sight."

"Alright. Thanks anyway." I tell him. "And...thanks for finding another way." Alastor raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" He asks.

"I was so certain that there was nothing left for me. That I was doomed to never return to Heaven. I was left behind. Forgotten about...I didn't see any point of continuing on. I felt like I did when I was alive all over again..." I explain. "But, you managed to find another way for me. A way to make the best out of a pretty terrible situation. So...Thank you."

Alastor seemed slightly taken back by my words. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"Yes well, can't have someone like you disappearing. I'm quite curious about how you angels work. If I didn't tolerate you as much as I do, I would have already known how angels taste." He says lowly. I chuckle. "You tolerate me?" I swore I heard a record scratch from somewhere. "Do not get use to it. You can go from that to distaste very quickly."

"Can't really say you have a distaste for me, if you've never tasted me." Alastor's grin twitched. "Now listen here-"

"Sorry." I say with a smile. "Thank you Alastor. I tolerate you too." Surprisingly, Alastor smiled softly. "Alright." I sigh. "Where do I start? Becoming a real demon, that is."

"I don't think it will be as easy as you think." Alastor tells me. "Unless you're ready to spill some blood, get blitzed out of your mind, or commit several felonies right this moment...I think we should take things slow. In the meantime, keep up that act of seeking redemption around Charlie and the others. We don't want any of them getting suspicious at your sudden change of heart."

"Right. I still intend to help Charlie too."

"And why's that?" Asks Alastor. "Because, what she's trying to do is so unheard of and pretty much impossible, and yet, I believe in her. I wish it could have worked for me, but I wish even more than it works for her." I tell him.

Alastor shakes his head. "I'm starting to believe your god is a fool to cast out such an innocent and naive person."

I roll my eyes. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something else."

"And what would that be?" He asks. "It was about when we were sharing how we both died. I feel like I upset you. You left in quite a hurry." I mutter.

Alastor hums. "Apologies my dear, I didn't mean to come off that way. No, you didn't upset me. Rather, your situation had stirred up some rather unpleasant memories."

"Unpleasant memories?" I repeat. "Oh...uh, you were...?"

"Not only I..." Alastor quickly shut his mouth and cleared his throat. "No need to bring up the past! We have an infante future ahead of us to look forwards to!" His lively tone had returned. "Alastor. It's only me. Who am I to judge?" I say softly.

Alastor fell silent. "But, if you really don't want to, you don't have to say anything." I assure him. Alastor's glance fell away from me, a light sigh left him. "I suppose if we're going to be working together, we might as well be honest."

I stayed quiet, letting him start when he felt comfortable .

"I guess you could say, my childhood wasn't the best. Grew up in a part of town, where my mother and I were treated differently because of the way we looked. And my father was no better, him being part of the problem. But that's not all, he'd tend to take his anger out on my mother almost every day. And when she was beaten near unconscious, and unable to utter a scream...He'd go to me. There were many times, I feared he'd actually kill me." My stomach twisted as I hear him speak.

"Yes, it was like that for quite some time. Until I finally did something about it...It wasn't until my early adulthood, that was finally able to put an end to his abuse...Do you remember when I told you about my first kill? How it is still so fresh in my memory, even after all these years later?"

I had a feeling I knew where this was going. "You never do forget your first kill...especially when it's someone in your own family. I made sure to do it when he was alone, I took him far into the woods near the swamps...I made sure he felt every ounce of pain I could give until his very last breath. Then I threw him into the swamp to be feasted upon by the wildlife that resided there."

"I thought I had finally rid myself and my mother of all the pain he had caused us...But my pain would only grow from there. A month later, my mother had passed. She got sick, and unfortunately, our family was not on the wealthy side. Couldn't afford proper treatment...From that day on...I only grew colder, the killings would pick up later on until I was eventually met with the end of the line."

"I see." I mutter. "I'm sorry that happened to you." Alastor said nothing to that. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. I promise, no one but me will know about this." That caught his attention, his left ear twitched and he turned to face me. He opened his mouth to speak, closing it for a moment, then opening to speak again. "Yes well...if you value your life, you'll keep your word." I nod my head.

"I will."

[animatorweirdo]

When The Dragons Fly (Book 4)

You had challenged Drayton Hightower for the right to become the new Lord General of the Seven Armies. Now, will you win? Or die in this combat?

Chapter 9

Warnings: violence, a duel, getting sand in the eye, attempted backstabbing, and beheading.

---------------------------------------------

The news of the upcoming duel caused many reactions in the kingdom. It caused excitement as it was an opportunity to see a trial between two commanders of the seven armies and skepticism as you were a female. A woman competing to become the next Lord General was unheard of, especially when the news of your burning down the city was still fresh which caused fear among some people. However, it caused enough excitement for the people to overlook those details. Many wanted to see who would become the new Lord General and some simply wanted to see the ‘demon’ fight in the arena. 

Your mother tried her best to dissuade you from it, but you remained determined in your decision. You tried to explain your reason for demanding the duel, but unfortunately, she was unwilling to listen, fearing you would end up dying. So, now, you had to prove to her that you were no longer that helpless little girl. You were going to win, no matter what. 

The day of the duel came quickly. 

You dressed up in your armor, which weighed enough to provide solid protection and flexibility for movement. For your main weapon, you took the Night’s Whisperer, intending to use it for the first time to win this duel. 

Many people came to see the duel. You could hear them at the stadium, chanting to see the fight between the commander and the ‘demon’. You could only wonder how many would place bets on you. To them, it might be entertainment, but to you, it will decide the course of your life. There was a high chance you could die, but you will not allow such a fate. Lord Drayton Hightower might be a strong warrior. He was ruthless during his training with you. However, you were no longer the weak twerp he saw you as. 

After getting ready, you walked down the corridor to the arena, carrying your shield and helmet as your father’s sword rested on the straps of your belt. 

“(Name)!” a familiar voice yelled. 

You stopped and watched as Thomas and Edmund ran to you. 

“Are you seriously going to fight Lord Drayton for the position of the Lord General?” Thomas nearly screamed as they caught up to you. 

“I am,” you answered bluntly. 

“Why? That man used to beat our arses during the training days! You are a good swordsman, but he might kill you this time,” Edmund exclaimed.  

“I won’t allow it. And if someone has to die, then it will be him,” you said as you continued walking. 

“It’s okay to have confidence, but I think this is impossible!” Edmund yelled as the two stood in front of you. 

“What if you actually die? What about your mother?” He questioned. 

“I have to do this. If I don’t, Drayton will be the next Lord General. Compared to the trouble he might bring, dying in this duel is the least worst thing that could happen to me,” You explained as you walked through them. 

“Oh, great. Just when we finally started talking. She does something like this..” Thomas exaggerated. 

“Oh no!” Edmund grabbed his hair before looking up to the ceiling. “Lord General Maekar, please don’t curse me for getting your daughter killed!” He pleaded toward the heavens. 

The people cheered in excitement when you finally entered the arena. Lord Drayton was already waiting there. You nearly expected him to be without armor, a helmet, or a shield in this fight, but apparently, he came prepared. Perhaps he was not completely ignorant of your skills and capabilities. You nearly felt flattered. 

You two stood beside each other and looked toward your uncle, who sat on the high porch with your mother and most of your relatives. Even your cousins and your other stray uncle came to see the fight. You would have felt honored to see them if this wasn’t a fight that would decide your fate. 

Lord Alistair was standing on the side with the other commanders. 

“Today, we have gathered here to witness a Duel of Rights between Lady (Name) of House Targaryen, and Lord Drayton of House Hightower for the right to become the next Lord General of the Seven Armies!” the announcer began and the crowd cheered even more excitedly. 

“The rules are simple! The fight ends with either one of the duelists dead or yielding! There is no cheating or foul play of any kind allowed! If one of the duelists fails to follow the rules, the fight will be nullified, and the second duelist will be declared a victor!” 

Your uncle then stood up. He looked toward you and Drayton. “Do you both swear to fight by the rules and fight honorably and fairly?” he asked as it was by the rules. 

“I swear,” Lord Hightower answered while glaring at you. 

“I swear,” you answered loud and clear. 

“Then let the Duel of Rights begin!” your uncle declared. 

“Fighters! Go to your positions and get prepared!” the announcer commanded. 

You and Lord Hightower then walked to opposite sides. You glared at each other as you two put on your helmets and got into positions, holding your shields and swords. The crowd got quiet as tension rose within and you two gave the signs that you were ready. 

“Fighters!” the announcer grabbed the flag. 

You both got tense, ready to fight. 

“Get ready!” the announcer raised the flag. 

“And begin!” the announcer dropped the flag. 

Lord Drayton yelled and was first to charge. You blocked his attack with your shield and then used your sword to clash in return. Your swords clanged loudly against each other as you blocked and threw attacks at each other. 

The crowd cheered excitedly and some watched with tense anticipation. Your mother watched the fight anxiously, jolting and jumping when your swords clashed and loud metallic sounds filled the arena. 

You focused hard to throw and defend yourself from Drayton’s sword, not losing your footing and nearly dancing around him. 

His strikes were hard. You focused on keeping a safe distance and moving swiftly around him, relying on your speed and chances to strike. He was a big man and could easily beat you down with blunt force, so you had to be careful. There was no doubt that he was a seasoned warrior, but there was no way you were going to lose to him. 

It was a five-long minute of blocking and striking, trying to tire each other out. 

But now, you ended up making the mistake of not covering your side and Drayton managed to slip his sword against your arm and strike your shield away. The new change of the fight caused the crowd to cheer as you were forced to rely on your sword alone. 

You blocked your Drayton's attacks, but he managed to get a cut on you and slam you in the face so that your helmet fell off. 

Your mother gasped at your helmetless head and how you avoided getting sliced in the face. Luckily, you managed to do the same and force Drayton to lose his shield and helmet. It would have been dumb for either of you to try to get them back, so now it was about raw power and dominance. 

You fiercely fight, giving each other bruises and cuts. 

However, he suddenly managed to cause you to kneel and swiped his feet against the ground, causing sand to get into your eyes.  You yelled at the sudden pain in your eyes.  

Some people shrieked and your mother stood up when she saw the act.

You managed to defend yourself from Drayton’s attacks as he tried to strike you down with his sword. When you got the chance, you stepped away from his reach, trying to rub the sand from your eyes. 

Your eyes burned painfully. Your vision became blurred with tears. 

Baleria reached out in anger when she sensed the pain in your eyes. You calmed her down and tried to clear your eyes. Drayton’s blurry figure became difficult to see without having to close your eyes, which was a problem as Drayton was coming at you. 

You were then reminded of a training session in the Dragonpit. The Dragonkeepers often relied on their other senses when they couldn’t see well in the darkened caverns. Your eyes were blurred by the sand, but you still had your ears, nose, and sense of touch. You closed your eyes, taking out your dragonkeeper’s dagger, and changing your position. Baleria sensed your intentions and you focused on listening to Drayton’s footsteps and the movements of his armor. 

Drayton tried to strike you. You evaded the attack, deflecting it with your dagger. You moved quickly around him, striking him with both your sword and dagger.  It seemed your change in your fighting style confused him, so you started sending him a series of strikes, forcing him back. You gave him no choice but to defend himself.

The fighting way of the dragonkeepers has always focused on moving like a snake and striking with teeth like a dragon. It was unordinary but lethal. 

You then succeeded in striking Lord Drayton on his knees and striking his sword away, causing him to be without a weapon. The crowd held their breath when you then held your sword against the man’s neck, ready to finish him off. 

“Do it then, kill me,” Drayton spoke as you stared at each other. 

“You don’t have to die here. Just say it, and we can be done here,” you said, causing him to glare at you. 

“I yield,” he said. 

You released him and stepped toward the trial official. 

“Lord Hightower has yielded! We have a victor!” the official yelled and the crowd cheered at the outcome. 

“(Name), behind you!” Your mother yelled as you noticed Lord Drayton grab his sword and try to strike you. You quickly deflected his sword away and cut off his hand. He screamed at his bleeding stump as you then kicked him in the chest, making him fall to the ground and bleed to the sand. 

Everyone watched as he kneeled, and you stood before him. You held your sword against his neck.

“You really blew off your only chance to retire honorably?” you asked with disdain in your voice.

“Go back to the hell you crawled out of, cunt,” he snarled. 

You said nothing. The only good thing his action showed was what a true kind of man he was, a dishonorable old man, whose pride was easily wounded. Now you understood why he and your father were always at odds. 

Before the official could say anything, you swiped your sword down on Lord Drayton, cutting off his head clean. His head pounced on the sand as his headless body fell with a loud thud. You did not need to fear any consequences, he had committed foul play and tried to backstab you, therefore you had the right to execute him. 

You stood before your house, staring at them as they looked back at you with surprise yet calmness. Your mother looked shocked at how indifferent you seemed after killing a man. 

“We have a victor! Lady (Name) of House Targaryen!” the official yelled and the crowd cheered.

“Are there any more challengers to fight for the right of the Lord General of the Seven armies?!” The official yelled. 

“What say the commanders?” he said and all the attention was on them. 

You looked toward Lord Alistair. He looked at you and despite you taking what should have been his, he bore no resentment. He looked proud of you. Before anyone could say anything, he took out his sword and kneeled. 

“I swear to toward the new Lord General,” he declared, causing most people in the crowd to gasp and watch with wonder. You were surprised as well. 

The other commanders hesitated but soon followed suit. Lord Stark and Lord Martel were next to swear their loyalty to you, then it was Lord Greyjoy and Lord Tully. Lord Lannister was last but now all six commanders kneeled before you, sealing your claim as the new Lord General. 

You glanced toward the Hightowers, seeing them dissatisfied with the outcome. You nearly felt thrilled because with the commanders swearing their loyalty to you in public, there was nothing they could do. 

You had won. 

You stared down on the Night’s Whisperer. You hoped from wherever hell your father ended, he was proud of you. 

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