#and now I'm leaving it again
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still kind of shocked about how quickly my hype for Genshin's Natlan region faded like I never expected something like this to happen this fast...
#abbey doesn't play genshin impact#it's just... knowing that this is the final act of the Natlan AQ#and having THE Mavuika in the banner isn't enough#THE MAVUIKA. THE PYRO ARCHON.#I feel nothing I don't feel like I'm missing anything#and for a gacha to fail at provoking fomo... your product has to be extremely uninteresting#of course I'm super happy about people who love it! I wish that were me#and I'll reblog the gorgeous gifsets and all#but man... wow...#I also read some spoilers and leaks and my god it just doesn't seem to get better 😭#one of the leaks stated Furina will be rerunning in 5.4#so I'll just enter the game pull for her because I love her#and then... I'll leave again probably#that's so sad#but ig it's better this way#the less gacha games the better#it just feels a lil bad because I literally came back to the game last year and I enjoyed my time w it#and now I'm leaving it again#maybe it's just not for me#I've struggled with liking characters for example#and characters are too important in these games#in fact the only ones I loved were Wanderer Nahida Navia and Furina#the rest are just okay#just likable enough I feel like#anyway end of rant#sorry for the negativity
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there's meta to be had about just how much of viktor's arc is about loneliness and the blatant visuals they use in his evolution about metamorphosis, butterflies, cocoons, in utero, etc, as he molts from a soft, vulnerable larva who keeps getting hurt in his bids for love and acceptance, into a hardened final form complete with an exoskeleton acting as both physical and emotional armor. a shield keeping his emotions in and the pain of loneliness and rejection out, until it's cracked and his humanity is forcefully exposed. like. sorry if it's just the entomologist in me but this was blatantly obvious the very first time i watched the show and I've been continually surprised that no one's really pointed this out. as a certified lonely person it struck such a deep cord with me, when he accepted his fate, his path ahead, to be one he'd have to walk alone, finally putting up that last seemingly impenetrable wall around his soft parts (but keeping the blanket, this signal that he never asked for this, and that he's not unreachable). So much of his s2 arc centered around not just his desire to right his wrongs and help the world, but to connect with others and not feel alone, both of which got twisted by the hexcore. His attempt to create a hivemind where no one would ever suffer loneliness or rejection or loss, and he would feel their souls with him as well (even though that was an illusion in the end, he truly believed it). The whole 'I now speak with all their voices' but he's just floating in an empty space. And for the consequence of the glorious evolution to be eternal solitude, it just drives home how that's the worst possible fate imaginable for Viktor.
#arcane#viktor arcane#jayvik#arcane meta#look i barely post analyses but i've been on a roll lately and i just wanna say i'm theorizing CONSTANTLY. i havent stopped for three month#i just havent posted it.#anyway i felt the need to say this one even in rough form because it's. such powerful imagery they use and yet barely anyone talks about it#given esp the canonical butterfly motifs used over and over and over#viktor's so fucking alone in the last year of his life. he shrinks in on himself. he's deeply hurt. getting rejected in the council room wa#like IT for him. the defeat when he finally gives up and gives in.#i just. bro. this is a big part of why i identify so strongly with viktor as a character because it's so much about his loneliness#i may clean this up and post an actual meta about it if i feel like it. this is really one of the most important parts of his arc imo#mage viktor leaving jayce down in that ravine. watching him but not intervening. in a way forcing jayce to experience his loneliness#idk how you watch that scene with The Line and Viktor standing alone after hex-Sky disappears and not get a knife through the heart#at feeling his utter soul-crushing loneliness#he's now alone in the astral plane. no one could understand him before because of what made him different#now he's alone again. no one can perceive him how he actually is. again and again no one sees him for who he is
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posting this with absolutely no context
#am i a cryptid now? i log on like once in a blue moon to post cringe and then leave again#ace attorney#apollo justice#tikki#random stuff#my stuff#ooookay okay okay okay. anyone reading the tags can have a LITTLE context‚ as a treat#so. sitting on my ao3 currently is an unfinished fic with exactly this premise#i want to finish it so bad. it haunts me every day. people leave such nice comments and everything#but i just have no motivation. trust me i've tried#i thought that perhaps drawing it might finally kick my brain back into gear#i'm so sorry readers i'm sorry i WILL finish it i promise it's not abandoned#it was so much fuuuuun#tikki are you seeing this. cringefail author who keeps playing video games instead of writing lmao#anyway goodbye friends i am gone again. logging off once more
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RIP Carmen, you were named after two of Dean’s favorite things ✌️😌
#full disclosure i tweeted this two years ago#thought i'd posted it here as well but apparently i didn't#but it just popped into my head again so here we are#also i'm now realizing that because her last name is porter one could argue that she's named after THREE of his fave things#cars men & beer :)#but that's less snappy so i'm leaving the main post alone lol#on some level i am always deanposting#fandom: supernatural
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the thing about the grimpop kiss is that it was a GOOD kiss. like subjective opinions about chemistry aside, the writers could have played this MUCH differently. after years of insisting there's zero attraction or desire between them this could have happened mid season as a comedic sort of "freeze two seconds in as they mutually realize this is fucking terrible and pull back in horror" kiss that would finally shut the shippers up but nope! they built it up all season long and when it finally happened they were both LOCKED IN until they weren't. and yeah they can totally walk this back in the first five seconds of the next season OR they can choose to be hilarious about it and have them argue about who kissed who and insist they absolutely did not enjoy it at all and then immediately kiss again.
#mythic quest#grimpop#ian x poppy#sorry i'm still here!!! i may never leave!!!!#to be clear i am expecting them to walk it back should s5 even happen but let me have my fun while i can#and tbh i do think that second option is more compatible with their arc so far#like that did not seem like a 'well now we know we were right all along and we're never doing that again' kind of kiss to me#but what do i know
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i really like that one tiktok


#Hi guys its me Beeduoo on tumblr#alliumduo#cranboo#ctommy#i actually saw the tiktok on youtube shorts first im an unironic youtube shorts user😭😭#I IMMEDIATLEY THOUGHT OF THEM TOO Dream smp you will never leave my mind#Sorry i was gone for like twenty years i got really into aphmau for like the fourth time in my life I'm rewatching mystreet in school with#my friend Chronologically its going awesom we're on Llp Bro pdh was Insane#I FW EIN AND KAI IDGAF idk WHAT THE HELL EIN DOES later but i still like him AND KAI WAS A VICTIM OF BAD WRITING OMFGG IT MAKES ME SO MAD#That migbt be a hot take idk i only ever see Hate for them but like Kai especially i feel like jess just wrote them to be Stupid and weird#out of nowhere just to give aph a reason to go back to aaron the date thing WAS SO STUPID ok sorry for the side tangent#that was part of it but its mainly im just a Senior im Eighteen years old now and it sucksss when u get to this age i didnt draw for MOTNHS#in general bc of college apps all of that ughhh so ANNOYING imma be real im not even done yet i still have to do fafsa scholarships oh my#Damn god I STILL LOVE MY FAVS i would like to draw More again thank u i Love tumblr love these Tags i love to talk bye
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I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS ANOTHER ANGLE OF THIS PHOTO 😭😭😭😭
#brocedes#they were so happy#the vice grip they had on each other plsss#i've only seen ppl use the 1st one#saw it on pinterest#pls i was on there to look for cute pc backgrounds#and now i'm devastated#and sad about brocedes again#truly never leaving my mind
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#vivienne de fer#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dai#artists on tumblr#digital art#art#my art#finally managed to finish that sketch I was working on a couple of days ago#there is a lot going on right now so I've been focused on other things#didn't know what to do with the background but I've been trying to actually finish some things and didn't want to spend too long on this#so I'm leaving it as is#I'm still feeling a little rusty but it was nice to focus on a painting again
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"how did alden pull della she is so hot" well have you considered that alden is literally just as conventionally attractive as della is. and kind and generally a good person. have you thought about this yes or no
#i'm SORRY i need to bring this up AGAIN#i understand this sentiment is kind of a joke but you guys do understand that alden is also hot. right#i realize almost everyone here is exclusively into women but you guys should consider this angle. idk#i am leaving now#kotlc#kotlc alden#alden vacker#kotlc della#della vacker
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Animation commission I guess...
Um... ha-ha, okay, it has been stuck in my head for the whole month, but if I will keep it any more I will explode, I need to busy my brain even more I'd like to take an animation commission. Like, a fully colored, shaded, with lightning, with in-betweens, with the clean line (and background). Up to 5 seconds depending on what you want to get I guess the price may start from 250$ and be higher or less depending on complexity of the details, character or movement (<- of course everything will be negotiated) I never took such commissions before so please be patient with me since I might spend even months ha-ha (really wanna beat this fear of taking something more complex) But I will do my best since it will be first experimental time for me 1. Payment via Boosty after acceptance of the sketch animation (very rough idea) 2. I think I can draw mostly anything (but won't 18+, guro and I can decline something if I feel like I will not like to do it) 3. You must have a reference of the character, I'm not ready to work with something that doesn't have a ref to start working right away 4. Please, properly think of what you'd like to see, I will not make 3 different rough animations of different ideas because you suddenly had another idea ;~;; 5. Note me in dms if you'd like to take commission... (I'd like to move to discord later since it's more comfortable in here) Uh... I have only this as a more or less proper example (it was based on amazing storyboard by yeye23)
Okay, I'll just leave it here if someone really will be interested and will delete if it if it will be decided.... I just feel like my brain is dying if I don't have an enjoyable/stressful more complicated work on a side that demands an attention from me. Have a nice day
#I just...#I have what to do#Plenty of what to do#But it doesn't stress me enough to make my brain work#Such kind of commissions give me both a boost of work and enjoyment because of the process#So... yeah ah my brain is very much lacking it right now#And I think it will be interesting to finally do something complicated again but more properly#from the very beginning#I need an experience while I have time to pay attention to it#commission#I'm still not very confident to take money for these kind of works so I need to understand what pricing is okay for what I'm able to do wit#animation...#*opens the door*#*leaves the stage*#hahhh my dear life why did you give me such a lazy brain...
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It's interesting to feel the grey malaise of winter trying to drag you down, and know (know) that the answer is to get out of your apartment and talk to some human people, but also absolutely hate the idea so much. so. very much.
#I know all my posts these days are just ''reminder: you have to leave your apartment sometimes''#but it is sisyphean how I have to keep doing this.#learning this over and over again.#I'm not even that interested in food lately which is. um.#a big flashing warning sign that Something Not Ideal is happening in my brain right now.#I took a nap after work. signs point to rough times a coming.#celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge
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they really made Martin say "I won't ask what you went through to obtain this, my friend" when you hand him the Daedric artefact and expected us to be normal about him huh
#personal#I'm on sick leave so i played some oblivion for comfort and I'm unwell again for other reasons now#oblivion#tes#elder scrolls#the elder scrolls#martin septim#tes 4 oblivion#im seriously unwell#so is selvan tbh#selvan hlaalu the wet rag of a man#curing my writer's block through oblivion fanfiction so i can eventually go back to my original writing
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adhd means a lot of things to a lot of people, but what it mainly means for me is that every day for the past 2 weeks i have left the house with the intention of posting an important letter and every day i have categorically failed to do so
#sometimes i leave the letter on the kitchen table; sometimes i put it in a bag and forget to take the bag. or i take a different bag#sometimes i make it all the way into town with the letter only to forget why i'm there#past experience informs me i'm there to buy vegetables so i happily trundle off to the market and buy my vegetables and return home#once home i unpack the vegetables and find the letter still in my bag#once i even taped it to the window in front of my desk in the hope that having it directly in front of my eyes would make me remember it#it actually did the opposite and rendered it invisible to the point where i had trouble finding it again#anyway i still haven't posted it and now i have far too many sweet potatoes in my fridge please send help
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powerful mental image of lucanis expounding passionately about any given one of his limited but extremely deep areas of interest (the wyvern/knives/coffee/cooking/murder continuum of lucanis dellamorte special interests if you will) while rye lounges around and Beholds him with palpable twink boutta pounce energy
#having lucanis really go off about something no matter what it is is a rare and precious gift for rye specifically. free aphrodisiac#honestly rye's version of that might initially be subtle enough that only davrin would notice it (and suffer accordingly) lol#'could you guys do that while I'm not here. I'm starting to feel sick' '*perfectly innocent rye voice* do what davrin? I'm not even#doing anything :}' 'yeah you're doing nothing with a lot of subtext rook there are whole chains of footnotes here I'd rather not know'#very funny idea of rye leaving the top button of his shirt open (which means about one centimeter of throat exposed. to be clear)#to go to dinner b/c that is enough to make lucanis completely lose his train of thought every time he glances over#and davrin with half his glorious booba out at all times shaking his head at rye across the table like 'you harlot (affectionate)'#(may I remind us all that his first crush was viago de riva. I remind myself of this at least twice a week b/c it's one of my few sources#of joy and delight these days. rye only gets as mean as viago under very rare and specific cirumstances but I think that#might be lucanis' equivalent aphrodisiac material lol. whenever rook gets tried to the point of showing his hand that not only#IS he actually very clever he also has the capacity to be a *bitch* when provoked lucanis finds his trousers suddenly a little tight.#man something here about both of them struggling with holding on to their anger yet actually finding it appealing in the other person#that's actually kind of moving as well as hilarious haha. rye losing his cool and being like 'oh fuck my cover is blown yet again#now everyone will know I am an asshole actually' and meanwhile lucanis is like 'I need to kiss him under the pale moonlight' <3#something something nothing is more beautiful to me than the fullness of your nature getting to witness the full spectrum of your being#'*davrin facepalming just out of frame as they gaze upon each other like this* literally what did I just SAY!!! assan avert your eyes#this is grownup stuff. weird-ass grownup stuff I don't fully get and yet I suppose it takes all kinds etc. but still grownup stuff')#davrin being the baffled witness to the intricate yet extremely low-key mating dance of two introverts is something that can be so personal#he clocked them from the moment they showed up to recruit him (which to be clear is before either of these two dumbasses realized anything)#and now he has to live with it <3 sorry davrin I love you davrin#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#lucanis dellamorte#davrin#from my tag rants etc.#rook x lucanis#rookanis#holding on to my sanity and will to live by a shred but with how coherent and sane this is I'm sure it's not even noticeable
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Look at me when I'm talking to you, son.
#vandermorgan#rdr#red dead redeption#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#dutch van der linde#dutch/arthur#arthur/dutch#hiiiiiiii....#i have to confess that i'm letting my many already finished for weeks drawings languish in favor of posting this one that i've only just di#I REALLY LIKE IT AND WANNA SHOW THE WORLD OK#anyway. younger arthur and dutch as a concept make me insane#though I didn't age Dutch down visually as much as I did arthur because 1. leave me alone they probably aged a lot faster back then#JUST LOOK AT HOSEA#and 2.#mhhjdhfjsjhdjf age gap heehehee#anyway i feel like now i need to draw a younger john with dutch too#yknow. to balance off the scales#that one might get very dead dove very fast seeing the age john the gang though HAH#sorry for being a degenerate. it WILL happen again#my art
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Because I'm going to stay unwell about these fictional men:
Hagiwara, I swear if you leave for another job because you're heartbroken over Sei . . .
I think Sei's parents died on his birthday, so just give him a moment to realize that he has stayed with Fujisawa for so long because he is terrified of losing people. Give the boy a minute to trust that he won't lose someone he loves again.

DON'T GIVE UP, HAGIWARA!
#when it rains it pours#futtara doshaburi#I'm going to stop now#I'm going to leave these fictional men here and walk away#I'm going to go be normal about something#*pushes play on episode five again*
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