#and not quite right size until I fit myself into them again little by little

[starlightsuffered]

Gentle

Info - soft Dom Timothée, praise kink, stressed reader, soft dominance, unprotected sex, sub space, minor size kink if you squint, love making, after care, a little bit of sir kink

“You can’t sleep can you Mon amour?” Asked my boyfriend.

“I’m sorry,” I said guiltily. I didn’t know he was awake. I’d been tossing and turning quite a bit.

“What’s up love bug?” He asked.

“I just am so nervous about Monday. A wanted a promotion, don’t get me wrong, but I’m so scared I’ll fuck up and lose this,” I sniffed. I felt so entire helpless.

“You feel stupid and weak and unprepared?” Timothée asked. I was taken aback by his brazen tone.

“Well yeah,” I admitted.

“Let me meet you there,” he whispered. I didn’t know what he meant until he was gently sliding his hands up my sleep shirt. He pulled it off.

He dipped his head down and took one of my nipples in his mouth. He sucked slowly. The noises turned me on immensely. As he carefully suckled he then pulled down my panties.

“Good girl,” he murmured into my skin. I felt a thrill buzz through me. I was flushed and arching into him. He showed some dominance then and pushed my hips down.

“You’re not doing anything, in this moment you aren’t responsible for a single thing but feeling good,” he instructed me. I nodded obediently but my breath hitched at the dark look in his eyes.

“Say yes sir,” he purred.

“Yes sir,” I gasped as his hard head nudged at my entrance. He slid in slowly.

“There’s my good girl, you’ve got such a perfect cunt you know that?” He asked.

“I try,” I whined with pleasure as he began to thrust.

“No, say it princess, tell me you’ve got a perfect cunt,” he whispered in my ear. His voice was filled with such love yet so much command.

“I’ve got a perfect cunt,” I stuttered out.

“There we go,” he praised. He held my legs apart and began to thrust deeper. He was groaning deeply with bliss.

“You’re so amazing you know? You’re going to do perfect. I’m backing a winning horse, I’ve got no worries. It’s the easiest thing in the world to encourage you,” he told me.

“Oh Timothée,” I breathed. I was selling up.

“It’s okay baby, everything is going to be okay,” he hushed me. Then his lips were on mine. He was in complete control of my body. His lips were everywhere. He sucked a love bite into my neck, he sucked on my heaving breasts, his lips met my nose and kissed the tears of relief away.

“That’s my girl, my beautiful girl,” he praised as he felt my walls clenching as I neared orgasm.

“You’re a goddess, making love to you is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever had the privilege to do,” he moaned. I was gasping for air as he took our intertwined fingers and raised our hands over our hands as he rocked into me.

“I want to keep you safe and happy for the rest of your life,” he murmured. He was kissing me again. Each was sweet and relieving and tension loosening.

“You do so well for me every time. Your body is perfection. You fit me just right, your gorgeous snug pussy does wonders,” he told me. I giggled and he was beaming. He rubbed his nose against mine. His forehead pressed to mine and our eyes were locked.

I lifted my legs, wanting to wrap them around him. He shook his head ever so slightly. I obeyed instantly and dropped my legs.

“Such a good listener,” he crooned in a proud and impressed tone. He knew I needed him closer so he gathered me to him. My small body was engulfed with his larger one. He hugged me to him as he thrust into me. I was a whimpering mess.

“There’s a good girl, that’s good, just feel it. Forget all those worries, I’ve got you,” he repeated over and over in my ear.

“C-can I come?” I whined, barely able to contain myself.

“Yes good girl, come on my cock, that’s it,” he guided me. I fell apart but he kept holding me and saying soothing praises.

“I, uhhh, Ohh, fuck, Timmy, holy shit, ahhh,” I moaned. He grunted in pure ecstasy and panted heavily as spurts of cum began to fill me.

“Mmmmmm,” I let out a high pitched sigh of delight. “I’m so full of you.”

“Come on baby, you need to pee,” he said.

“Don’t wan it out of me,” I said dreamily. I was fully in sub space. I didn’t think I could move.

“Oh baby,” he said lovingly. He got up. He was still naked when he easily picked me up. He opened the toilet lid with his foot and sat me down.

“Pee,” he instructed and then left. I did as I was told, feeling like I might almost cry again because I wasn’t looking at him.

He turned on the warm water and washed his hands. He then wet a comb and began to de tangled my hair. When he was finished he braided it loosely. I was enjoying the feeling of his hands on me, and in my tresses.

“Timothée, I love you so much,” I whispered.

“I love you too y/n,” he replied. He finished my hair and got a soft washcloth. He cleaned off the saliva he’d left on my skin and carefully he wiped in and around my pussy. He kissed my forehead and cheek every now and again. He smiled the entire time.

“Come on Mon amour, you need sleep so you can rock the world on Monday, just relax this weekend,” he said softly. He picked me up again and took me to bed. He put my panties back on me but I refused the shirt. I wanted his warm bare skin on mine.

He held me close. I nestled into him like a baby bird safely under a wind. He sung to me and rocked me as I fell asleep in his arms. He was perfect.

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday: Lloyd Hansen

Summary: It's your first week on the job and you find yourself having to deal with a very angry higher up.

Word Count: ~1.8k

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, Mentions of dub/non con, Power imbalance, SMUT!! Lots of smut. Please let me know if I missed any.

Part 3

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

As you enter your cubicle the morning of the office party there's a package on your desk. It has a note that simply says, "For my good girl." You giggle a bit out of nerves Lloyd is coming on stronger than you like. He definitely has the potential to be a good Sir, and part of you is quite flattered that he's already taking such ownership of you, but you've yet to actually agree to anything.

That was a lesson learned the hard way: talk about your limits before getting into bed. Your last Dom wasn't interested in discussion and you thought that was just his way, that he would at least listen to your color codes and safe-word. If it weren't for the club's owners you don't doubt you would have ended up in the hospital. Still, you've yet to go back for fear of trusting another Sir. At the very least, though, you can tell Lloyd that you need to talk before you accept his gifts, his ownership.

You decide to use the gift as an excuse to visit him in his office, later in the day. Leaving your desk for your break time, you walk to Lloyd's office and knock on the door.

"Enter," he barks. His angry look melts away a little when he sees you. "Maestro! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

You close the door behind you before taking a seat across from him and setting his gift on the desk. He frowns. "I just...I need to make sure...I'm sure you're a good Dom, a good Sir, but I need..."

His eyes soften, "limits and boundaries. Even before you get a taste of the goods?"

You nod, "last time I did that I got hurt." Lloyd's jaw tightens at that. "So I promised myself I would never do that again. I need to talk about limits and I need to know you'll respect them. Given that you haven't been putting my job at risk since I talked to you, I think I can trust you on that front. But I'm not accepting a gift from you until we talk."

"Absolutely," Lloyd agrees, his attitude is all business. He pulls out some paper and a couple of pens. "Let's go ahead and write down things as we talk, okay?"

"Thank you, Sir."

You return to your desk feeling much lighter, maybe even giddy. It's been so long since you've had your needs met. And you're sure Lloyd's going to satisfy. He was asking all the right questions, giving all the right reassurances. He treated your needs and concerns with all the seriousness you weren't sure he was capable of.

Letting yourself get back into the swing of things at work, you almost forget about the gift Lloyd got you: an angel costume. Nothing fancy, but definitely cute with just the right amount of naughtiness. You're to put it on before visiting him in his office after the party starts.

A few minutes after the party starts, you sneak your way to the floor of Lloyd's office. Finding a bathroom nearby, you use that to switch into the angel costume. You feel so giddy and hopeful as you look at yourself in the mirror. You don't know how he guessed your size so accurately, but the skimpy costume fits quite well.

Peeking out the door to make sure there's no one who will see you, you quickly skitter to Lloyd's office and knock on the door.

"Enter," he barks. You do so, making sure to close and lock the door behind you. You turn towards him and await his command. Because you're keeping your head down, you don't see Lloyd licking his lips at how good you look. "Come here," he orders and you're quickly at his side, kneeling in obedience to his hand gesture. He cups your face with his large hand, making you look up at him. "Put your work clothes under your knees," he purrs. "I don't want you to hurt yourself on this god awful floor."

"Thank you, Sir," you chirp as you obey.

When you're settled at his feet, Lloyd starts caressing your cheek and you lean into his touch. "You're absolutely gorgeous," he comments. "I can't wait to ruin you in all the best ways." He smiles at your whimper. "I wonder how responsive you'll be when I'm teasing that pussy of yours with my fingers. I'll bet you've never been fucked by such a large hand, have you?"

"No, Sir," you breathe, desire quickly building in your core.

"I wonder how many of these fingers that hole of yours can take," he ponders. "Maybe a good girl like you just needs one or two." He grips your chin, "or are you a little slut who can take my whole hand?" You let out a bit of a strangled mewl as your pussy clenches around nothing, imagining those hands on you. He moves his thumb to your lips and you automatically open your mouth, making him chuckle. "Not yet, Maestro. First, let's give your hands a test run. Unbutton me."

Wasting no time your hands work to undo Lloyd's belt so you could get to the button of his pants. The outline of his erection has you biting your lower lip. You want to unzip him, to gag on his cock, but you were only ordered to unbutton him so that's all you do.

Lloyd caresses your cheek again, "do you see something you like, Maestro?"

"Yes, Sir," you whine.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he orders.

"I want to choke on your cock, Sir," you confess, a little bashful.

Lloyd moans and you see a twitch beneath his pants. "Take my dick out and give it a kiss." You're quick to obey, your breath hitching at the size of him, before kissing the tip. "Good girl," he coos. "Now choke yourself on my cock. And yes, you can use your tits as well."

Lowering the shirt of the angel costume, you let your breasts out and use them to sandwich his cock while you set to work on the tip of his dick. You build up speed as you take more and more of him in your mouth, rewarded by his moans as he pats your head. You feel your saliva dripping onto your breasts and use it to massage his length even more. You're occasionally choking on him as you repeatedly take him to the back of your throat.

"Look at me," Lloyd growls, and your eyes immediately turn to him. "Fuck, that's it, that's a good girl," he praises. "Haven't had a proper suck in so long. Wonder if I should cum down that slutty throat of yours or all across those gorgeous tits. Maybe even all over that pretty face." You whimper, trying not to get distracted by your needy pussy. "You like that? You want me to cum all over your face? Mark you with my cum?" Lloyd smiles at your needy whine.

He grabs your hair, stilling you, "hands on my legs, Maestro. Remember, three taps to get me to stop." You give a little nod and place your hands accordingly before he starts roughly pushing you down on his dick. You're repeatedly gagging, gasping for air as you struggle to breath through your nose, but your pussy is dripping wet from the rough treatment and the noises of pleasure coming from Lloyd. "Shit, your mouth feels so good," he moans. "Taking me like the good slut you are. Fuck! I'm gonna cum all over your body. Gonna claim every singe inch of your body as mine."

Without warning he almost throws you back and you gasp for air. "Press those tits together and keep that gorgeous mouth open," he orders. You do so and your vision clears enough that you see Lloyd jerking himself off, making you open your mouth wider. "Fuck, Maestro. Such a good girl for me, making me cum so fast and so. Fucking. Hard." His cum splatters all over your chest, some of it getting onto your face.

He catches his breath but you don't move, just staying in the position you were ordered to, despite how needy your pussy was feeling.

He pets the top of your head again, "you were such a good girl for me. Did really good for our first time together. I think you deserve a reward." You whimper at that and he chuckles. "Stand up," he orders, and you do so. He grabs your clothes and lays them down on his desk, "lay down on your back."

It takes you a little help from him because of how big his desk is, but soon you're laying on your clothes, legs spread, silently begging Lloyd to fill your pussy. He places his palm over your mound and uses one of his fingers to play with your hole making you quietly whine.

"You're a good slut for me," he teases. "So damn wet I could probably slide my cock right in." He quickly pushes one of his fingers into you, up to the knuckle and arch your back, desperate for more. Lloyd leans over you, putting his arms on each side of you, "we don't want to get caught, so I'm going to need you to keep quiet. Understand?"

"Yes, Sir," you nod fervently.

"If you want something to bite down on, let me know."

"Thank you, Sir."

Lloyd moves one of his arms down your front and resumes teasing you as he kisses down to your breasts, licking some of his own cum off of you. He uses his tongue on one of your nipples, alternating between licking and sucking. His hand roughly shoves two fingers inside your cunt and you arch back, eyes rolling in pleasure as scissors them in and out of you at a harsh pace.

"Sir, Sir, please, Sir, thank you, Sir, please, Sir, Sir---" you clamp your hand over your mouth to keep yourself quiet as you cum, clenching around Lloyd's large fingers. He continues finger fucking you until you've come down a little.

"Good girl," he purrs. "Keeping quiet like I told you to. Did you enjoy my fingers?"

"Yes, Sir," your voice is raspy.

"You look so pretty when you cum," he grins. He lowers himself so his face is between your legs. "Let's see how many more I can get out of you."

Part 3

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;

@late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ozwriterchick; @ronearoundblindly; @lokislady82

[secret-subject]

Why are we so convinced ADHD (and other neurodivergent people) can't be hypnotized?

This is something I've thought about a lot lately. So a little context of why:

So I've been doing hypnosis for about 12 years now. Back when I was 18 I joined the irc chat on WMM and started being hypnotized pretty much daily. I did files and I had dominants to play with and that continued for a long time. By the time I was in my mid 20's I was extremely easy, in fact too easy. The culture back then also wasn't the greatest for me and my subject agency was pretty mid (gotta love hindsight) but again, I was known for having a very good and very squishy brain. In 2022, my Mum was diagnosed with ASD but also got a surprise ADHD diagnosis. Now, we are very similar so she insisted I get tested and low and behold I have ADHD, inattentive subtype.

This blew my mind because for the longest time I had the clear signs of undiagnosed ADHD but a lot of these things were assumed came from my history of doing a buttload of conditioning files, my health conditions and just being "like that". By this stage I had stopped being hypnotized myself and focused on my role as a dominant and content creator because that for me was something I just had to focus on. My switching stopped and I didn't go under for about three years.

So now, I took a hiatus to go and try something else and when I came back I was stressed and got back into testing out files again. (Also super lucky in this time some friends of mine became hypnosis creators so that was a great way to dabble with people I can trust). My first few experiences were like getting on a bike after years of not riding. It was a little wobbly but soon with practice I was right back where I left off and now even better than that. I think right now I'm getting some of the literal deepest trance experiences ever. It's hard to describe but all I'll say is "oooof".

So why is this backstory important?

Because this is one very clear narrative of a person who had undiagnosed ADHD and found hypnosis very achievable with time, practice and a buttload of conditioning with the right people. Because my ADHD was not a factor until now, I never got told, "you can't be hypnotized" this self fulfilling proficy that makes people feel like this isn't for them which for me seeing this narrative in online spaces breaks my heart for the people who see this and feel that is their label and that is what sticks.

I think it's not our place to say who can or cannot be hypnotized as a general rule because there are not general rules in hypnosis. You can't look at someone and assess them based on factors you don't know or understand. In this world there are very few people who straight up cannot be hypnotized at all to some degree (far less then even the research people keep quoting says at this point) and this is why I feel so strongly that we need to instead of trying to label entire groups as "not good for play" to instead change the narrative to "let's see what works for more people" because brains are different and hypnosis can not be a one size fits all approach. It's too subjective for that.

This is also the biggest reason I made the ADHD hypnosis kink audio recently. I used my knowledge of hypnosis and some research on presentations of ADHD in combination to make something I felt was quite special. Maybe in the future this is something I can work on again because I want all the ADHDers with a hypnosis kink to be able to harness that hyperfocus and those skills we have to make kinky fun times extra fun.

So like, is it time we gave up generalizations on people like this? I know I'm ready to not hear my brain judged before you've even seen what it can do.

[queenofbaws]

hi queenie i find myself humbly at your doorstep again (if there was a bowing emoji i would put it here) so question! do you outline your stories? and if so, how? another writer i admire was nice enough to lay out a "tutorial" of sorts but i have so much trouble with the small stuff. like i have so many Big Moments planned and tiny tiny moments planned but the medium moments? do you have any idea on how to plan the medium moments???? i'm going crazy! 😩

(as always, your answer is appreciated and cherished)

why hellooooooo quill!!! what a treat to find you on my doorstep! please know it is i who is bowing and scraping - it's always a delight to be visited by THE hawke/varric queen! ;)c

extremely long story short: i do outline my stories! i live in constant awe of people who can write by the seat of their pants. alas, like the humble ant, i am always digging out pathways to follow later...usually the pathways are intricate. maze-like. bottomless. 😫 hehehe but i know E X A C T L Y what you mean, finding ways to connect everything can be...so much, especially when all you really want to do is get to those big, juicy moments, AHHH!

i'll throw my general process under the cut, and i hope it'll help in some way/shape/form!!! 💖

OH FUCK, I THINK I HAVE A FIC IDEA an outlining process by theicyqueen

hehehe okay, so as always, this is my general process, and what works for me might not work for others, so by all means take EVERY LAST THING I SAY with a boulder-sized grain of salt ;P

for the most part, my outlining process for oneshots and multichaps is roughly the same: (1) i get a central idea i want to expand on, (2) i write that fucker down in as much detail as possible, (3) i sit squinting at it like that kate beaton comic with edgar allan poe for a week or two waiting for a divine vision to hit, (4) profit. in all seriousness, though, this is typically my order of operations:

get the main idea down: this could be an overarching idea for a story (e.g., hawke and varric attend a fancy party and a murder mystery occurs) OR a big, juicy influential scene (e.g., incensed at hubert being an asshole, varric hurls a pillow at him and uncovers a secret door hidden in the wall!)

think about where you want to go from there: do you want this to be a oneshot? a multichap? how much MORE do you want to add to that main idea, essentially, or how far do you think you can stretch it?

get the biggest scenes down first: you know the ones. the ones you REALLY want to get to. write them down NOW. just trust me on this. WRITE THEM DOWN RIGHT NOW I STG!!!

if there are little scenes in your head, get those down too: don't worry about getting them down IN ORDER, just get them down! you think you'll remember them later: you will not. i love you. you will not remember them later. you're so smart. you will not. remember. them later. this is the writer's curse.

put those scenes into some sort of skeleton: here's where you start thinking about the order you want scenes in. where do you want those big, juicy things? where will your smaller moments fit in between them? what KEY POINTS need to occur before juicy scene b so it makes sense to the reader? what KEY POINTS will have to come AFTER juicy scene b to make sense? if you don't quite know where to put something yet, keep it separated, either in a separate doc, or just off to the side; don't touch it again until you have an idea of where it should go chronologically

look at what you have so far: sometimes, if you're lucky, the way to connect these pieces together will become apparent once you see what you already have laid out in one place. life is beautiful when this happens, but it doesn't always, so don't beat yourself up if you just CAN'T figure out how to get from point a to point h - let it sit. let it simmer. let it STEW. maybe eat some stew. it can't hurt.

consider the evil bits >:)c : what this means FOR ME is usually foreshadowing. is there some big twist you want to drop breadcrumbs for throughout the rest of the story? think about what that might look like! if you decide, for example, that you want to reveal a character was evil the whole time by the end of the story, think about what little nugget of foreshadowing you could insert sneakily into the beginning - a lot of the time tiny, almost insignificant details like this can help trigger bigger scenes in your head, "connecty" scenes, if you will. other examples of "evil bits," might be winks to canon material, easter eggs referring to other works of yours (or a friend's!), wordbuilding info that doesn't fit anywhere else, or not-so-subtle inclusions of your own headcanons that you have no earthly reason to include other than to make yourself smile (for example, in the project i'm working on right now, i'm making it a point to have travis hackett smell a girl's hair against her will! this is not a necessary detail by any means, but god help me my characterization of that freak will be known 🙃). it sounds fake, but seriously, sometimes the tiniest details can help you connect things later. the human brain is inscrutable.

determine whether you NEED to fill every gap: if you can't think of a way connect two scenes no matter how hard you try, it's ENTIRELY possible that they just don't need to be connected. at all. the reader doesn't always need to see characters move from one classroom to another, and we don't always need to see their skincare routine before they go to bed. those might be important scenes to include for what you're writing, don't get me wrong, but if they're not??? just...just skip 'em. DON'T connect the scene before and the scene after. if you're writing a oneshot, ask yourself: could i put a line break in here and just keep going? and if you're writing a multichap, the question is similar: can i just end the chapter here and pick up with the next one? sometimes you just don't NEED a medium-sized scene at all. just skip it!!!!!

talk to a friend who has no idea what any of this means: i'm. i'm so serious. if you're writing fandom stuff, please ask a friend with little to no knowledge of that fandom if you can talk at them about your story for a minute. if you're writing something original, please ask literally any friend at all if you can talk at them about your story for a minute. you will be. shocked. the words that come out of your mouth once you start doing this. shocked. sometimes there's stuff up in your brain you didn't even know was up there. i can't recommend it highly enough asldkjflakdjf

when in doubt, consider a humble "blanket paragraph:" i feel like...i feel like a lot of us...who got into creative writing...and who took creative writing classes...came to hate the simple blanket statement. but we shouldn't. we should love it. sometimes you don't need a scene at all - sometimes all you need is, "and then they ate dinner and watched some movies before bed." that's it. that can be your link. it can. i promise. i promise.

i really, truly hope that helps you in some way! or, if nothing else, kickstarts something in your own way of planning 💜

what a hobby we chose, huh? what a hobby. :P

[thereismusicinmysoul]

Work was closed today because of an ice storm, so I took the unexpected day off to finally finish the pleated wrap skirt I've been working on since early November! I got really rambly about the whole thing so here's a picture of the finished product and I'll drop the rest below the cut.

This project came about because I've been watching The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty with some friends and I DESIRE a swooshy skirt. While I didn't follow any patterns and wasn't setting out to make the same exact style of skirt, it was definitely influential. (This skirt brought to you by numerous tutorial videos, including one on Chinese mamianqun's and one on Korean hanbok's, and an absolute refusal to actually follow anyone's instructions. No pattern, we die like men)

It's been almost 10 years since I've done any sewing, so I decided to buy sheets from the thrift store so that I wouldn't cry as hard if things went horribly or I had to trash the project. (Don't get me wrong, I still cried. Because Oh Golly did things go wrong. But it wasn't as tragic as if I'd used full price fabric from Joann's, ya feel?) So from there the idea grew from "pleated wrap skirt" (my rationale: I don't have to be precise in my measurements, straight hem, but still lots of swoosh) to "make this skirt out of a queen size top sheet with as little waste as possible" because who doesn't love a challenge?

....and oh what a challenge it ended up. I plotted things out in my notebook, planned how I would cut everything, and oh let me tell you: rationally I knew how big the sheet was. But laying it out to cut it? So huge. So much fabric. It covered my entire bedroom floor. All of this going into a single skirt oh god what have I gotten myself into? But this part actually went the smoothest of the whole process! Because...

I wasn't doing normal pleats. Since I was trying to make the swooshiest dress with as much of the fabric as I had, I did "deep pleats" which is. A normal pleat but if you shove more fabric inside the pleat. No one wanted to explain to me exactly how to do this. The one person I found who did gave me MATH about it. And boy am I bad at math. Used a pillowcase to practice and wrap my head around how the math worked (the intangible makes no sense to me, I must hold it in my hands), sorted the math, started pleating for real! Measured my pinned pleats and it came up way shorter than anticipated. Have I mentioned it's been a hot minute since I've sewn? Also this was my first attempt ever at pleats. SO! I unpinned everything, made my deep pleats slightly less deep, pinned them all up again, and then blessedly listened to my Grammy's advice to baste the pleats first. Because horror of horrors, my measurements were right the first time and now my fabric was too long for the waistband I'd already put Quite A Lot Of Effort Into. Like, it's a wrap skirt. I would've just made do. But no. It wouldn't even fit.

Within this process, I sewed together my three skirt panels, put in a pocket (oh the choices I made. This pocket did not survive to the completion of the skirt because it was BAD. I was terrified that the fabric wouldn't hold up to the weight of me dripping my phone into it and covered the ENTIRE pocket in interfacing. This would be fine if I'd wanted it to fuck up the way the skirt lay, but this was not in fact what I wanted. I am however very proud of the placement I worked out for it, it sits inside one of the pleats so it isn't visible), hemmed the WHOLE FUCKING THING (look. Again. I knew it was a lot of fabric. But it did not occur to me that I would be hemming fucking 240" across the bottom, plus 30" up either side. I used ALL of my pins to accomplish this), and made a very lovely waistband and ties.

Now it is at this point that I went out of town for thanksgiving, remembered I had other Christmas crafting plans, started a new job working more hours, and left this skirt to languish until a few weeks ago when I finally had the heart to rip out all of those pleats, remembered I wanted to redo the pocket while I was here (and let me tell you, I needn't have worried about the strength of the pocket. I had that fucker in there GOOD. I think it took longer picking out that single pocket than it took taking out all of the pleats), and then set about redoing everything.

Now something you may not know about me is I exist in somewhat of a state of chaos. I try to write things down to negate this, but uh. Guess who didn't write down where she left off, and couldn't decipher the mad scientist notes that made sense in the heat of the moment, but not several months later? That would be me. Thankfully I was able to sort things out, get the pocket put back in, got the pleats pinned in record time, and praise whatever deity you may recognize, it was the right length this time! So this afternoon, I attached it to the waistband, did a very lovely "stitch in the ditch" (that I had to take out because something got fucked up in the back and it wouldn't lay right. I never regretted how closely I matched the thread to the fabric more than I did in that moment), REDID all that stitching, and now I have a skirt!

Ultimately, I don't actually know if I'll wear it. I no longer own many tops that lay well with a skirt without making me hate my body, and I don't know that I like the length. Maybe a shopping trip and cutting off several inches (...oh god I'll have to re-hem it...) will make me like it on myself better, but even if I don't and I never wear it, this has been a really fun and fulfilling project! I'm satisfied just with having completed it and I've learned a lot in the process! And hey, for going into this refusing to follow a pattern, with a goal of "use the entire sheet in the skirt" I think it came out pretty nicely. Plus, if nothing else, I can pleat like an absolute pro now.

[littledragondork]

Little Dragons

This is my first real attempt at fanfiction, I've written stories in the past but never fanfiction and I'm quite proud of it if I do say so myself :3c

A content warning for some heavy topics in the beginning and middle but they get better I promise.

Silence. Deafening silence was all Balneim could hear from the two tiny bundles he held in his arms, the two of them combined wouldn’t be able to reach the size of his forearm. They were wrapped snugly in warm, soft blankets, their tiny bodies barely breathing. To look at them made Balneim want to wail in agony, to scream until his lungs gave out, to make himself feel even an ounce of pain they currently are feeling. They are dying and there is almost nothing Balneim can do.

All he can do is keep them warm, fed, clean and cast restoration magic on them once every few hours, at least that’s what his court healer told him to do, even then she didn’t seem hopeful in the slightest. They hardly moved, and when they did it was to either stretch out a limb or just wiggle a small bit. He didn’t dare separate them in fear it would just make them worse, loosing the only other creature that understood them in this time of need, their closest companion, their twin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Balneim’s days became like clockwork. Keep them close while he worked, don’t go too far from the palace, feed himself and then them every few hours, cast the restoration magic on their tiny bodies and do not sleep. He thanked his newly gained godly blood for the ability to no longer need rest or food, but then again. It might have been that very same blood that put them in the pain they are now.

They were so small, just one of their tiny bodies would fit snugly in Balneim’s hand, born too soon and so very, very weak. Everyday Balneim would look at them and expect to see little corpses, but instead would be greeted by the shallow rise and fall of their tiny chests. They’re still fighting. He also began to notice differences, before the two would be identical, but now, he found the eldest preferred it when he would rub their back gently while the youngest liked to just be held with as little movement as possible. They both seemed to love it when he would sing to them. The soft sound seemed to help them sleep, but he always feared they might not wake up. At least his voice would be the last thing they heard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He found they both hated it when Balneim would swap the blankets to clean them, their weak, hardly audible cries would go on and on until they could have them back. And he had to give the correct identical blanket to the right twin or else they would be even more furious with their father, how dare he mix them up!

After a few weeks they started to cry properly, and wow could the youngest scream. 

“Yes! I hear you little one!” He would say to them. “All of the isles can hear your voice!”

They started to get rounder, larger. Balneim couldn’t help but think they were getting too round. They were so skinny for so long and now they are getting so large.

 Are they bloated? Are they starting to die from the inside? They deserve a better father than me—

“M’lord!” The court healer would get his attention, ripping him from his spiraling thoughts. “They’re perfectly healthy! They’re just getting fat! It’s a good sign if anything!”

Now Balneim just felt silly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He doesn’t know how they’ve made it so far. Balneim thought for sure they would have died a week, maybe even a few days into their life. But they just refused to let go. Whether it was pure will, a desire of life or just pure stubbornness Balneim wasn’t sure but he was grateful for every second he would watch over them and their little movements, and hear their little sounds.

The eldest one seemed to sleep a lot, it was so much to the point Balneim had to check if they were even alive and every time they would whine when woken up, only to fall back asleep. The youngest seemed to almost whistle when they would breathe, not all the time but enough to be concerning. This terrified Balneim, making him fear what life they would live if they were able to make it to adulthood. Will they live fulfilling lives or would they struggle to take care of themselves, could they follow their dreams or would they have to settle for less. He just wants them to be happy and know they are loved.

Balneim often wondered how his children’s other father would feel at their current state, would he hate him for inflicting the life they currently live? No, he would likely be just as terrified and paranoid as Balneim felt, he was a compassionate man, he would likely join in the hours of crying and exhaustion. Balneim wished their other father could be with them now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another day of not letting the little ones out of Balneim’s sight, bringing them with him wherever he would go in a palace and keeping them warm and close. They have their eyes open now, they just spend most of the time staring at their father’s face, taking in his details. Do they care that his face is covered in scars, that his red hair was rapidly turning white, that his eyes were no longer that of a mortal man’s? They just stared blankly at him, their little eyes would follow him and sometimes follow his gaze, like four little lanterns. Tiny eyes, so full of curiosity and wonder for the world around them. The youngest’s eyes are just like how his used to look, a rich brown that almost seem to swallow the light around them. The eldest’s eyes are a sky blue, just like their other father’s, looking into their eyes almost makes Balneim see the sky of nirn again, except for the left eye which is the same rich brown of their siblings.

He can tell they won’t be ‘normal’ he can feel it, but that’s okay, the mind is a place of Balneim’s expertise, and that only means he’ll have more fun with them. The eldest stirs in the lord’s arm, looking down he meets their gaze, the tiny face staring back up at him and taking in every detail. And they surprise him, they stare at him and something changes. Their little face moved to show off a large and bright smile across their face. A sight that makes all the lord’s months of fear and anxiety begin to melt away and tears begin to well up in his eyes.

They’re going to be fine, his little Brigitte and Micah.

[bestfriendforhire]

Children of BFFH, Entry 186

 After a wonderful dinner fixed by Aid and Eléa—Aid was primarily there to supervise team Eléa due to her lack of cooking experience—we unanimously voted to continue playing the game the quadruplets had made, since it was new to us and exceptionally beautiful.  To my surprise, even the adults were joining in as their own team.  Ben’s parents hadn’t tried a virtual reality game before, not that I was surprised to hear it.  Emma and Cosette had insisted on having them try, given that Ben’s parents were actually gamers too.

 Messy handled making suits for the adults with absolutely no effort that I could see.  Within a second of hearing the request, the suits were sitting next to each person, appearing in a puff of darkness, but that was Messy.  Having spent far more time with the other kids for the past half year, I was used to them, as much as was possible for someone who didn’t live there.

 Though typically a team by herself, Eléa was stuck on my team with Stormcrow, Aika, and myself as some sort of rock-studying person.  Stormcrow was our medic, Aika was security, and I was the pilot of the Artemis V spacecraft, who now acted as extra hands for any project.  Apparently, I was also supposed to be some type of engineer, but piloting was way cooler.  I loved flying.  If the quadruplets had made a VR suit for my bird form, I’d be acting as a scout for the group, flying around right now.

 “Wow.” muttered Stormcrow, instantly getting my attention.

 “What is it?” I asked, kneeling down to look at the plant he was holding.

 “I obviously don’t have a name for it, but the compounds in this plant would cause paralysis if even a little were eaten.  A nice size bite would kill a person quickly.  I really don’t feel like this planet is a good fit for humanity.” stated Stormcrow with a grin.  He was having as much fun with this game as I was.

 Looking around at the vibrant blue and purple trees, I said, “But it’s beautiful!”

 “Sure, but beautiful and deadly still doesn’t sound too great for humans.  That’s the type of combination you want to lure us here to be killed.” he stated, trying to look serious despite still having a slight smile.

 I rolled my eyes at him before saying, “Maybe, but the quadruplets meant for this game to be survivable.  There has to be…”

 “Incoming!” exclaimed Aika, interrupting our conversation.

 I didn’t see anything until I followed her pointing finger where a… thing… was rapidly approaching us.  I quite nearly changed forms out of reflex after the creature easily knocked over a crooked tree that was slightly in its path.  The creature’s shape was somewhat like a huge gorilla, but its hide was lizard-like with scales of different shades of green and brown.  The giant arms of the creature ended in four-fingered hands that were tipped with enormous claws.  Large eyes sat too high up on its head, and there were only slits for a nose.  Aika took a few shots with her firearm before jumping and rolling out of the way.  The creature’s face practically split in half as it roared, revealing a couple rows of sharp teeth.

 “What do we do!?” I asked Stormcrow in horror, knowing he couldn’t just zap it for me.  His magic wouldn’t affect the game world.

 Without saying a word, he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind a tree with him.  I could tell from his face that he was trying to solve our problem, but he actually looked a little panicked too.

 “Guys, what is that thing!?” exclaimed Eléa over the suit’s radio.

 “A monster!” I told her immediately, earning an amused look from Stormcrow.

 “More like…” started Aika before a loud roar interrupted her.  “A very… angry… animal.”

 “You stick that thing in any horror movie, and it’s a monster.” I insisted, easily imagining people running from the creature.

 “Any ideas on how to stop it?” questioned Stormcrow before she could argue again.

 Aika was continuing to shoot at the creature off and on, but it only seemed to make the thing angrier, considering it wasn’t dead yet.

 “Hiding.  Hiding is still good.” I told him, not really wanting to go out there.

 Eléa then said, “Normally, I’d distract it and run away, but I can’t really do that now.  If bullets aren’t even hurting it, I don’t know what would.”

 “It is bleeding.” insisted Aika as she dodged around and continued taking shots.

 “Why doesn’t this game have drones?” asked Stormcrow.  “I could try force-feeding it some of the deadly flora.”

 Still fighting, Aika managed to stay with the conversation as she moved.  “Excellent suggestion… but we’d… have to… know which plants… to make the lost drone… worthwhile.”

 Grabbing Stormcrow, I said, “Be a doctor!  Tell her how to hurt it, quick!”

 “That’s not what medical doctors do, but…” he considered, looking like he was reading something on his display after taking another peek at the creature.  “Huh.  Space doctor.  I am supposed to have extensive knowledge of numerous anatomies.  The skull’s probably too thick to shoot through easily with your weapon.  Aim for the neck or just below the neck.  I guess its heart is there.”

 “Okay.” stated Aika.

 To my surprise, she stopped firing as much.  When I peeked out, I saw her dodge a swipe of the creature’s claws.  Then she jumped up onto a boulder before dodging again and jumping onto an even higher boulder.  Right when the creature looked up at her, she unloaded her weapon into it.  Despite seeing the creature fall over, I couldn’t help feeling surprised that she finished it off that easily.  Had she been holding back this whole time to see what we’d do, or was shooting it where Stormcrow said just that effective?

 “So Mr. Medic, want to try salvaging anything useful from this thing?” questioned Aika with a grin.

 Stormcrow shrugged and pulled out his toolkit.  Then Eléa and I took up position to help Aika keep an eye out for any more raging monsters in case her fight drew attention rather than scaring creatures away.  No matter how much time I spent with these kids, life just wasn’t dull.

[elesianne]

Lyhyt Silmarillion-fanfic – a Silmarillion fanfic in Finnish; to be translated into English soon. I’ve been thinking about writing a fic in my native language for a while, and seeing the @langfic​ Tumblr gave me the final push to do so!

Yhteenveto: Isovanhempiensa luona lapsena kyläilevä Caranthir lähettää kirjeen äidilleen.

Sanamäärä: ~700; Ikäraja: Sopii kaikenikäisille

Avainsanoja: perhe, kirje, Puiden vuodet

A/N: Ensimmäinen suomenkielinen ficcini viiteentoista vuoteen! Kirjoitin tämän pikku tarinan äidinkielelläni ihan huvin ja vaihtelun vuoksi.

Tässä tarinassa Carnistir (=Caranthir) on vielä aivan lapsi. Käytän quenyankielisiä nimiä, yhteenveto Tolkienin hahmojen nimistä löytyy täältä jos on tarvetta.

Lue AO3:ssa

*

Kirje kotiin

Hei äiti,

alkaa Carnistirin kirje kaikessa yksinkertaisuudessaan. Nerdanel hymyilee. Carnistirin käsiala on kulmikas ja sotkuinen, ja kirjepaperi on hieman ryppyinen. Nerdanel on silti varma, että jokainen sana on merkityksellinen.

Minulla on kaikki hyvin täällä Mahtan-isoisän ja Tyelpefindien-isoäidin luona. Serkut ovat vähemmän ärsyttäviä kuin veljet, ja yhteiset oppitunnit heidän kanssaan ovat sujuneet aika hyvin. Paremmin kuin Tyelkon kanssa.

Minä ja Fanyë ja Airion teimme tällä viikolla pieniä puuveistoksia isoäidin kanssa ja savitöitä isoisän kanssa. Minä halusin tehdä eläimiä. Airion teki möykkyjä, joista en tiennyt mitä ne olivat ennen kuin hän kertoi. Mutta hän onkin vasta pieni, ja isoäiti ei antanut hänelle yhtä terävää puukkoa kuin minulle ja Fanyëlle.

Fanyë teki kukkia. En ymmärrä sitä koska eläimet ovat paljon mielenkiintoisempia. Hän on kovin kiinnostunut kukista nykyisin. Sanoin, että hänen pitäisi ruveta kasvattamaan kukkia kädentöiden tekemisen sijaan, jos hän pitää niistä niin kovin. Hän tönäisi minua ja sanoi, että voihan hän tehdä kukkia puusta ja savesta koko ikänsä jos hän haluaa. Minä sanoin että niin voi mutta hänen kannattaa tehdä niitä vain puusta, koska hänen savikukkansa ovat vähemmän hienoja.

Fanyën puukukat ovat tosi hienoja. Hän teki ruusun, jossa on viisi kerrosta terälehtiä. Ne ovat todella ohuita ja tarkkoja ja minun lintuni näyttää ruusun vieressä yhtä paljon möykyltä kuin Airionin möykky joka on kuulemma isoisän ja isoäidin talo. (Se ei näytä siltä.)

Lähetän puulintuni silti sinulle, äiti. Sen pyrstöstä tuli vähän liian pitkä mutta se on räystäspääsky. Jos olet sitä mieltä että oikean väriseksi maalaaminen tekisi siitä paremman (helpommin tunnistettavan) niin voitko hankkia sopivia maaleja? Maalaan sen sitten kun tulen kotiin. Yritin tehdä siitä helposti maalattavan. Isoäiti neuvoi.

Lähetän myös kissan, jonka tein savesta isoisän avustuksella. Hän auttoi minua saamaan jalat pysymään koossa. Olen parempi savitöissä kuin Fanyë, mutta en pidä siitä tunteesta kun savi kuivuu iholle. Luulen, että en halua tehdä asioita savesta, kun olen aikuinen.

Niin kuin sinä sanoit kun tulin tänne, on hyödyllistä kokeilla monia eri asioita niin tiedän paremmin mistä pidän ja minkä alan oppipojaksi haluan ryhtyä.

Huomenna aloitamme metallin työstämisen opettelun isoisän kanssa, vaikka minä tietysti osaan alkeet jo. Fanyë ei osaa, hän osaa vain puutöitä. Sen jälkeen isoisä on luvannut opettaa minulle ja Fanyëlle kivenveistämisen perusteita (Airion on liian pieni siihen). Se kuulostaa mielenkiintoiselta. Sitä sinä et ole vielä ehtinyt opettaa minulle lainkaan.

Mutta pitäisin enemmän siitä, että yksittäisen kiven veistämisen sijaan isoisä opettaisi, miten suuresta määrästä sopivasti leikattuja kiviä saa tehtyä talon.

Talot täällä Aulën asuinsijoilla lähellä ovat erilaisia kuin kotona Tirionissa. Haluan tietää, miksi, ja miten eri lailla ne rakennetaan vai onko vain lopputulos erilainen. Isoäiti sanoi että vanyoiden talot ovat vielä erilaisempia. Haluaisin nähdä niitä joskus kunnolla. Voimmeko ratsastaa tänä vuonna vanya-kylän tai -kaupungin läpi kun menemme elonkorjuujuhlaan Taniquetilille? Meidän ei tarvitse kertoa isälle.

Nerdanel hymyilee yhä, mutta hymy on surumielinen. Hetken tauon jälkeen hän jatkaa lukemista.

Haluan myös katsoa falmarin taloja tarkkaan, kun seuraavan kerran menemme merenrannalle.

Iltaisin me leikimme ja käymme kävelyillä metsissä ja peltoteitä pitkin. Fanyë haluaa aina taluttaa jotakin isoäidin koirista. Ne pitävät välillä kovaa ääntä ja haluaisivat rynnätä oravien perään. Minä kävelen välillä edellä jotta minun ei tarvitse välittää niistä.

Minulla on ikävä sinua, äiti, ja isää ja Maitimoa ja Cánoa, mutta ei Tyelkoa. Olen yhä vihainen Tyelkolle hänen pilastaan joka ei ollut yhtään hauska.

Saatan antaa anteeksi ensi viikolla mutta en vielä lupaa mitään.

Älä pidä kissaa ja lintua liian lähekkäin, ettei kissa syö lintua. (Se on vitsi.)

Terveisin

Morifinwë Carnistir

PS. Kirjoitin Morifinwën isää varten jos hän kuitenkin lukee kirjeen. Kirjoitin hänelle oman mutta se on lyhyempi.

Carnistirin savikissa ja puulintu saapuivat kirjeen mukana. Nerdanel avaa niiden huolellisesti suljetut, pehmustetut paketit ja sivelee sormellaan pienen linnun päätä ja kissan hieman köyristynyttä selkää. Ne ovat selvästi lapsen töitä – näppäräsormisen, innokkaana oppivaisen lapsen.

Miten Nerdanelilla onkaan ikävä neljättä lastaan. Mutta Carnistirin on parempi olla jonkun aikaa poissa kotoa, isovanhempiensa luona nauttimassa näiden rakastavasta huomiosta ja opetuksista, kaukana Tyelkosta ja tämän levottomista kepposista. Jos Carnistir viihtyy siellä kauan, Nerdanel voi ratsastaa sinne muutamaksi päiväksi käymään. Hän voisi kenties ottaa Maitimon mukaan. Tunnolliselle esikoiselle tekisi hyvää pieni loma opinnoista.

Nerdanel lähtee etsimään hyvät paikat savikissalle ja puulinnulle. Hän vie linnun yöpöydälleen tuomaan hymyn kasvoille aamuisin ja kissan ruokailuhuoneen kulmapöydälle, mistä sen näkee koko perhe monta kertaa päivässä. Kulkiessaan huoneesta toiseen hän käy mielessään läpi kaikki Tirionin rakennusmestarit ja arkkitehdit ja miettii, kenen oppipojaksi Carnistir voisi sopia.

*

A/N: Kiitos kun luit! Jos tykkäsit tästä, arvostaisin ihan vaikka yhden sanan kommenttia, niin tietäisin ovatko ihmiset tosiaan lukeneet tämän :)

Banner photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash.

[hanjisick]

— CARAMEL MACCHIATO

order #1 of the coffee shop series: a caramel macchiato

ingredients y/n x coffee shop owner!bang chan. best friends to lovers. mostly fluff but angsty confession. terrible wingmen!skz.

allergies. contains: makeouts. brief alcohol mention.

size. 2.3k

special add ons. no matter how charming the owner of yellow wood café may be, chan only has eyes for his best friend.

“your hair, channie,” you reached over the wooden counter to fix the curly mess.

“sorry, didn’t have time to do it this morning.”

“you never have time to do anything but work,” your hands dropped down to adjust his collar with a huff.

“thank god that i have you then, huh?”

“you’d be dead if you didn’t. you can repay me by making me my caramel macchiato.”

“just because you are some weird coffee shop owner who doesn’t like coffee doesn’t mean i should deprive myself of what keeps me going every day,” you leaned over, watching him work.

chan had a strict policy over giving people free coffee, but he was always willing to break any of his rules for you.

he handed you the sweet drink, just the way you liked it.

“i swear none of them make my coffee the way you do.”

“well if you moved in with me already, i’d be able to make it for you every morning,” chan winked.

“give it a break with the flirting already,” seungmin groaned, trying to ignore you two until now, “it’s driving me nuts.”

“we aren’t flirting, you little gremlin! he’s my best friend!”

every time that chan heard those words fall from your mouth, another piece of his heart shattered.

smile faltering, he looked down at the cup with a carefully drizzled caramel heart on top.

seungmin’s eyes must’ve rolled into the back of his head, “whatever you say, but you two might as well date at this point.”

there wasn’t a single person who didn’t know chan’s feelings towards you except for yourself. it was hard to miss the way his gaze lingered on you, how hard he tried to impress you with his coffee every morning, and how no matter who gave him their number, he always declined.

each barista figured it out at their own time, all in a silent agreement that— yea, chan was head over heels for his childhood friend.

but nobody told you any of it. worker or not, everyone seemed to fold for chan’s orders, perhaps it’s what made him such a good boss.

one of his unspoken orders was that no matter what, don’t tell y/n, let him do it when the time is right. so everyone seemed to turn their head when he spoke to you, but sometimes seungmin liked to push the limits.

clearing his throat, chan faced you once again, “there’s gonna be another card night this saturday. you in?”

“am i in? of course i am. when have i ever missed one of your tacky card nights?”

right after your reply, the door swung open, the bell chiming as you all whipped around to see the first customer of the day.

it was no surprise who it was. an elder in her mid 70’s, as most very early morning customers was.

“good morning!” seungmin sang out, running to the counter, “your coffee with two scoops of sugar?”

“yes, thank you,” she smiled, “your shirt is too long dear, you need to tuck it in like chan.”

seungmin simply smiled at the stinging bluntness, quite used to it, ringing her up.

“your shirt looks lovely, chan, i’m sure my granddaughter would love it as well.”

you and him both cringed at the comment, prepared for her upcoming rant.

“you are such a handsome young man in your twenties, and you need to settle down and find yourself a nice young lady soon. my granddaughter is a very beautiful woman and i would love for her to marry a man like yourself.”

seungmin waited for her to finish before interjecting, “ma’am, your coffee is ready.”

it was only once she was out the door that you all erupted in a fit of giggles, losing your composure immediately

“you need to settle down, chan! you’re practically an old man!”

“shut your mouth, seungmin! she was just trying to be nice!”

you turned to chan to join in, mocking the lady, “you are such a handsome young man in your twenties!”

though it was a joke, you were impersonating a grandma for god’s sake, chan’s heart couldn’t help but skip a beat. he hesitated before letting out another laugh.

“tuck in your shirt, seungmin!” you broke eye contact before he could even process it.

“my bad!” he struggled to shove his shirt into his pants, making it look as hilariously bad as possible.

chan giggled along, trying to calm his heartbeat down from its insane rhythm. but the laughter soon died as they began to prepare for the busiest part of the day, turning on machines and refilling jars of sugar and other toppings.

“i need to head out now,” you began to gather your stuff, placing your empty cup into the dishwasher.

“hugs?” chan wrapped his arms around you as you breathed in his vanilla cologne. his huge was always comforting, letting you fall into his arms and forget about the world for a brief moment.

“love you,” you sighed and pulled away, missing chan’s nervous fidgeting as you turned to seungmin.

“make sure he doesn’t overwork himself. have him stop and eat at noon.”

after he nodded, you head out the door in satisfaction, waving goodbye through the glass window.

“so when are you going to make a move?”

chan’s lips pressed together, ignoring seungmin’s words. instead, he chose to grab a rag and clean off the area you sat at, a hole in his heart now that you were gone.

“maybe if we get enough tequila in you on saturday then you’ll confess.”

“at a card game night in jisung’s apartment with all of you? no thanks.”

“you’re not gonna have a fairytale confession, chan. you need to do it before you get your heart broken when she goes for another guy.”

his words were harsh but true. he didn’t want to imagine your hand intertwined with anyone other than his own. but he would never tell seungmin any of that.

you had arrived at card night halfway through uno, so you decided to sit out of the round and help your best friend win against the other baristas.

“it’s not fair!” jisung whined, “chan has y/n to help him and none of us have help! of course he won!”

“i never told chan to do anything, it’s a luck game!” you pointed out, trying to defend chan’s win.

“i agree with jisung! that was just a practice round!” hyunjin crossed his arms, the two boys annoyingly resembling toddlers.

“foods ready!” minho called out as everybody forgot about the game, scrambling up to the kitchen.

there was never a plan of how the nights would go, everyone just sort of ended up doing what they felt like at the moment.

after everybody had their plates and a few cookies, they scrambled across the living room for more games.

as always, you sat right at chan’s side munching on the delicious chocolate chip cookies.

“you guys wanna play spin the bottle?” hyunjin stared right into chan’s eyes with a smirk.

“no.” everyone replied in unison, a few giggles erupting around the living room.

“why not?”

“all of you are ugly and unkissable,” jeongin gagged dramatically.

“oh please, i’d be the best kiss of your life!” hyunjin pounced on top of the boy who began to thrash around, begging for help.

“get off of him!” minho tried to pry hyunjin away, but only succeeded once changbin began to help as well.

chan let out a sigh, resting his head on your shoulder. they kept it from you, sure, but none of them were good wingmen. at all.

your hand reflexively went into his hair, “i don’t understand how all of your dumb friends manage to not burn down that strip mall.”

“i don’t know either, love.” his breath hitched as the nickname slipped out, and he didn’t fail to notice the way your hand paused for a moment as well.

he could tell that you were smiling, “i can smell your shampoo.”

“really? is it bad?”

“you know what is bad?” jisung interjects, “the fact that we aren’t playing a game of truth or dare.”

“this is supposed to be a card night, hanji,” chan points out, turning his head towards the group.

it was so painfully obvious that they were trying to help him make a move, but he wasn’t going to budge.

“just one round, please!”

“loosen up chan, it can be fun. i’m sure we all have some interesting secrets.” he glanced up at you, shoulders drooping in defeat. he couldn’t say no to you.

“alright.”

“chan! truth or dare!” jeongin immediately called out first, the others eagerly waiting for the exasperated man to decide— as if their plan wasn’t the most predictable thing in the world.

“why me?” he yelled out, throwing his head back against the couch.

if he picked truth, they’d ask who is crush was. if he picked dare, they’d make him kiss you.

“you gotta pick chan, it’s the game!” you shook him slightly.

“dare.” it was the easier option. he would blame the kiss on the dare, he wouldn’t have to confess just yet.

“i dare you to kiss y/n!”

chan rolled his eyes and looked towards you, who stared at the floor in embarrassment.

“both of you are so red,” seungmin commented with a large grin, “just do it already.”

his heart was going a thousand miles per hour as you brought your head up, squeezing your eyes shut. chan stared at your lips, and he was sure that he would pass out. the baristas eager stares didn’t help one bit as he leaned in closer. he felt like he was going to faint.

“i can’t,” he pulled away quickly, suddenly quite interested in his socks. chan didn’t bother to face everyone’s disappointed faces and groans, getting up to bring his dirty plate into the kitchen.

the room fell silent as he walked out, only able to breathe once again now that he was alone. he stood there for a second, replaying the memory in his head.

you must’ve been so nervous and scared. there was no way you wanted him to kiss you. it was just a dare that you were waiting to be over.

he was pulled out of his thoughts by quiet sniffling, the room now filled with hushed whispers that he couldn’t ignore.

the front door of the apartment opened and chan ran back into the living room to find the solemn faces of his friends, “where is y/n? where did she go?”

“she left,” felix answered immediately.

“why? why’d she leave? is she okay?”

“go out and get her. you need to talk to her. alone.”

chan didn’t have to be told twice, running right after you.

“y/n?” he whipped his head around before running down the steps, “y/n!”

“why are you crying?” he grabbed your shoulder, turning you around to face him, “did they say something to you?”

“don’t worry about it, just go back inside.”

he pulled you into his black hoodie, the one that you gifted him years ago, “please tell me what happened.”

as always, you slumped into his hug, wrapping your arms loosely around his waist. “did you not want to kiss me that bad?”

chan’s breathing stopped as he tried to think of an answer.

but you continued after a moment. “i guess i let my ego go. i know i’m not as pretty as the girls who always look at you at the shop and i always tease you, but your friends kept encouraging me and that’s why we played truth or dare in the first place.”

you pulled away to look at his shocked face, “i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable.”

it took chan a moment to process everything you had confessed as he stared into your teary eyes.

“i think i’m in love with you, bang chan.”

his silence made the tears begin to well up again in your eyes, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“please say something.”

his eyes dragged down to your lips once again tonight. he wanted to say something. anything. but he couldn’t.

so instead, he leaned into you, wiping away your tears with his thumb. he couldn’t resist planting a light kiss on your lips, and his anxieties washed away at your smile.

“i’m so in love with you, y/n, you have no idea.” he brought you in for another kiss, smiling against your lips. you kissed him back, letting go of all the worries from tonight. your hands tangled in his hair to bring him closer in, a soft groan falling from his lips.

chan’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration, he wanted to be the best kiss of your life, and there was no doubt in your mind that he was.

there was no doubt that chan would keep going. he could stand at the end of the stairs and kiss you forever, completely lost in the feeling of finally confessing to his dream girl.

but suddenly you pulled away, breath heavy against him, staring up to the top of the stairs in embarrassment.

chan whipped his head around to follow your gaze, mind still hazy from the intense kiss.

“don’t mind me!” jisung called out, changbin immediately throwing a hand over his mouth.

“how many of you are there?” his hoarse voice called out in annoyance.

“just us!”

“you have until three! one-“ all the members scrambled to their feet to run back into the house as chan huffed, ready to run up the stairs and scold them to no end.

“just leave them,” you laughed as the loud lock clicked, “they won’t let you in anyways.”

“they’re lucky they aren’t all fired,” his hands flew to cover his red face.

“we both know you wouldn’t dream of doing that.”

“you know me too well, y/n.”

[starlightsuffered]

Gentle

Info-soft Dom Timothée, praise kink, stressed reader, soft dominance, unprotected sex, sub space, minor size kink if you squint, love making, after care, a little bit of sir kink

"You can't sleep can you Mon amour?" Asked my boyfriend.

"'m sorry," I said guiltily. I didn't know he was awake. I'd been tossing and turning quite a bit.

"What's up love bug?" He asked.

"I just am so nervous about Monday. A wanted a promotion, don't get me wrong, but I'm so scared I'll fuck up and lose this," | sniffed. I felt so entire helpless.

"You feel stupid and weak and unprepared?" Timothée asked. I was taken aback by his brazen tone.

"Well yeah," | admitted.

"Let me meet you there," he whispered. I didn't know what he meant until he was gently sliding his hands up my sleep shirt. He pulled it off.

He dipped his head down and took one of my nipples in his mouth. He sucked slowly. The noises turned me on immensely. As he carefully suckled he then pulled down my panties.

"Good girl," he murmured into my skin. I felt a thrill buzz through me. I was flushed and arching into him. He showed some dominance then and pushed my hips down.

"You're not doing anything, in this moment you aren't responsible for a single thing but feeling good," he instructed me. I nodded obediently but my breath hitched at the dark look in his eyes.

"Say yes sir," he purred.

"Yes sir," I gasped as his hard head nudged at my entrance. He slid in slowly.

"There's my good girl, you've got such a perfect cunt you know that?" He asked.

"I try," I whined with pleasure as he began to thrust.

"No, say it princess, tell me you've got a perfect cunt," he whispered in my ear. His voice was filled with such love yet so much command.

"I've got a perfect cunt," | stuttered out.

"There we go," he praised. He held my legs apart and began to thrust deeper. He was groaning deeply with bliss.

"You're so amazing you know? You're going to do perfect. I'm backing a winning horse, l've got no worries. It's the easiest thing in the world to encourage you," he told me.

"Oh Timothée," | breathed. I was selling up.

"It's okay baby, everything is going to be okay," he hushed me. Then his lips were on mine. He was in complete control of my body. His lips were everywhere. He sucked a love bite into my neck, he sucked on my heaving breasts, his lips met my nose and kissed the tears of relief away.

"That's my girl, my beautiful girl," he praised as he felt my walls clenching as I neared orgasm.

"You're a goddess, making love to you is the most wonderful thing l've ever had the privilege to do," he moaned.

I was gasping for air as he took our intertwined fingers and raised our hands over our hands as he rocked into me.

"I want to keep you safe and happy for the rest of your life," he murmured. He was kissing me again. Each was sweet and relieving and tension loosening.

"You do so well for me every time. Your body is perfection. You fit me just right, your gorgeous snug pussy does wonders," he told me. I giggled and he was beaming. He rubbed his nose against mine. His forehead pressed to mine and our eyes were locked.

I lifted my legs, wanting to wrap them around him. He shook his head ever so slightly. I obeyed instantly and dropped my legs.

"Such a good listener," he crooned in a proud and impressed tone. He knew I needed him closer so he gathered me to him. My small body was engulfed with his larger one. He hugged me to him as he thrust into me. I was a whimpering mess.

"There's a good girl, that's good, just feel it. Forget all those worries, I've got you," he repeated over and over in my ear.

"C-can I come?" | whined, barely able to contain myself.

"Yes good girl, come on my cock, that's it," he guided me. I fell apart but he kept holding me and saying soothing praises.

"I, uhhh, Ohh, fuck, Timmy, holy shit, ahhh," I moaned. He grunted in pure ecstasy and panted heavily as spurts of cum began to fill me.

"Mmmmmm," I let out a high pitched sigh of delight. "I'm so full of you."

"Come on baby, you need to pee," he said.

"Don't wan it out of me," I said dreamily. I was fully in sub space. I didn't think I could move.

"Oh baby," he said lovingly. He got up. He was still naked when he easily picked me up. He opened the toilet lid with his foot and sat me down.

"Pee," he instructed and then left. I did as I was told, feeling like I might almost cry again because I wasn't looking at him.

He turned on the warm water and washed his hands. He then wet a comb and began to de tangled my hair.

When he was finished he braided it loosely. I was enjoying the feeling of his hands on me, and in my tresses.

"Timothée, I love you so much," I whispered.

"I love you too y/n," he replied. He finished my hair and got a soft washcloth. He cleaned off the saliva he'd left on my skin and carefully he wiped in and around my pussy. He kissed my forehead and cheek every now and again. He smiled the entire time.

"Come on Mon amour, you need sleep so you can rock the world on Monday, just relax this weekend," he said softly. He picked me up again and took me to bed. He put my panties back on me but I refused the shirt. I wanted his warm bare skin on mine.

He held me close. I nestled into him like a baby bird safely under a wind. He sung to me and rocked me as I fell asleep in his arms. He was perfect.

[quindolyn]

Yes, Sir || Remus Lupin

Request: If you’re comfortable writing it could you maybe write a Remus smut where he’s really playing into a size kink and just man handling and throwing you where he wants you? -anon

Word Count: 4410

Notes: Agh! This is my first time writing full fledged smut, I hope you enjoy it. @st0nesnglitter proof read it for me, I couldn’t bring myself to read it again so I attribute all errors to her 

Warnings: Smut, degradtion, size kink, thigh riding, sir kink, professor/student relationship, poorly written, openended cop out

Masterlist

You were lying on your stomach, sprawled along Remus’ king size, four poster bed, face pressed up against a random book you’d plucked from his extensive collection, most of which appeared to have been swiped from the library during his time at Hogwarts. You were sure the book was interesting enough but you could barely focus on it, you’d been waiting for Remus in his bedroom for at least a few hours whilst he was downstairs in his office finishing up grading assignments from his 4th years. 

But it was getting late, and you wanted Remmy. Not allowing yourself to talk yourself out of what you were about to do you pushed your body off the plush mattress, not bothering to straighten out the bedding, if things went your way it’d be in vain.

You took a double take as you passed the floor length mirror. Examining your appearance you noticed your hair was mussed from lounging about his bed trying to find a comfortable reading position. Your uniform shirt was rolled up to your elbows with the top couple of buttons undone to reveal a healthy amount of cleavage accompanied by a glimpse of the white lace of your bra. Your skirt had ridden up dangerously high, the white material of your panties peeking out from the hem of the pretty much useless piece of clothing. You’d already abandoned your thigh highs, leaving your legs enticingly bare. A smirk graced your face as you pulled your skirt up even higher before continuing out the door, down the spiral staircase to your boyfriend’s office.

“Remus?” You rapped your knuckles against the heavy oak of the door.

You were met by the deep, honey like voice of your boyfriend, “Come in.”

Pushing the door open you took in the visual of Remus hunched over at his desk, the sleeves of his button up rolled similarly to yours as he ran a calloused hand through his hair. His desk covered in papers, his hand fiddling with his quill as his lips moved silently as he read. He hadn’t realized who was at his door until he lifted his head, scratching one final note onto the paper.

“Puppy?” He quirked an eyebrow, “I thought you were upstairs, are you going back to your dorm already? M’almost done I promise, just a couple left.”

“Not going back, just wanted to see you. Been waiting too long.”

He motioned you over with a crook of his finger, pushing his chair out from the desk, patting his thigh for you to sit on, “There you go Puppy, get comfortable.” His hands found their place on your waist, helping you settle on his thigh, allowing them to wander up and down your sides, squeezing your waist and hips. “Was my Puppy getting impatient, waiting for me upstairs?”

You nodded in response, your breath hitching as his fingers found their way to the waistband of your skirt, “Are these not fitting you anymore Poppet? Do we need to get you new ones?”

“No Sir,” You mewled, shivering as one hand left your waist band, instead finding their way to the hem of the skirt, now resting on the uppermost part of your thighs.

Remus let out a disagreeing hum, resting his chin on your shoulder, looking over your shoulder to watch his fingers play with the material of your skirt. “You sure Puppy? Because I don’t think so, it's not covering anything, anyone could take a look at your pretty little arse in one of these.” He punctuated his remark by bringing his hand down against your thigh, with no skirt to soften the blow you tensed at the impact before he began massaging the sensitive area with the palm of his hand. 

“Just came from upstairs Sir, no one saw me,” You reasoned in a pathetic whine causing him to grip your jaw in his hands. 

“Did I ask for excuses Bunny?” He spat, turning your visage to face him, his usually bright, sparkling irises now dark, drowned in lust. You whined out, trying and failing to shake your head in his tight grip. “Can’t even answer me? Come on I know you can be a good girl for me, now did I ask for excuses?”

You gulped, “No.”

He tsked, “No who?”

“No Sir,” You corrected yourself, feeling your panties begin to flood at his mocking behavior. 

Satisfied, he let go of your face, taking your hand in his so that your palms were pressed together highlighting the length of his fingers as they dwarfed yours. “Good girl, now was that so hard.”

“No, Sir,” You responded obediently.

His lack of response made you nervous, knowing he was plotting something probably devious. You knew you were right when you felt his lips on your neck, planting sloppy, open mouthed kisses on the delicate flesh that resided there. Your attempts to suppress your whimpers were in vain as he sunk his teeth into the side of your neck, leaving purple marks in his wake.

“Such pretty noises,” He murmured and from the sound of his voice you could tell he his lips were pulled into a gentle smile. Your breath hitched as his hands found their way to your thighs, gripping them tightly as he planted a kiss on one of the blossoming bruises on your neck. “Such pretty noises from such a pretty slut.”

You threw your head back onto his shoulder as small waves of pleasure rippled through your body, reveling in the feeling of his hands on your body.

“Alright pup, let’s get up okay?” It took you a second to truly digest his words resulting in him leaving a gentle, but firm tap against your hip to which you scrambled up to obey him, turning so that you were facing him where he was lounging in his chair. You couldn’t help but shift from foot to foot as his eyes roamed your body, taking in each detail of your appearance, grinning like an idiot when he went to the hem of your skirt, which really was useless now, completely bunched up at your waist.

“Can you take your shirt off for me?” He asked in a cloying tone of voice, almost as one would speak to a child when asking them to perform a difficult task.

Enthusiastically nodding your head you started on the button resting right between your cleavage, the work you made in your efforts was miniscule as it took more than a minute for you to undo the top button with your shaky hands and already cloudy mind not assisting in your efforts.

You felt yourself get increasingly frustrated as you failed to get a solid grip on the next button, the plastic evading your struggling fingertips. “You having trouble there bunny?” Remus’ deep baritone sounded from his chair, you lifted your face from staring intently at your shirt to Remus’, his amusement at your being unable to perform such a simple task evident on his face. 

“S’not my fault,” You complained, “Buttons are just so fuckin slippery!” You were exasperated, this shouldn’t be taking you this long.

“What was that?” All signs of previous amusement vanished from his voice, nearly taking you out at the knees as your soft, pleading eyes met his. He was fuming and it wasn’t until he spoke next that you realized why. “Did I say you could fucking swear you slut?” His voice was cold as his posture straightened itself out.

“No,” He said, not giving you the opportunity to respond for yourself, “I didn’t. I expected you to be my good little girl, didn’t think that was unreasonable, usually so obedient for me.”

“M’sorry,” You pleaded, your hands continuing to struggle with the small buttons, “Didn’t mean to break the rules Sir, just frustrated.”

“Did I say you could talk at all?” He spat, “No, I didn’t now stop breaking the rules, don’t want you to apologize, just want you to be good for me. Now come over here and let me help you with your shirt, fucking pathetic aren’t you?”

Knowing the question was rhetorical you didn’t bother responding, instead just taking the invitation to inch yourself towards Remus until you were standing between his open legs, your fingers still shaking, not yet having abandoned the buttons you’d failed to undo.

“Your hands are so small,” Remus mused, lifting one of his to pry yours away from the material of your shirt, “How do you even get things done with these little things, oh right,” He tightened his grip on you, “You don’t. Need me to take care of everything for you, can’t even take off your shirt. S’that right baby?”

“Yes Sir,” You murmured.

“Let’s get this off of you,” It took him half the time to undo the rest of the buttons and get the shirt off you that it took you to undo one button. Remus’ pants got considerably tighter taking in your appearance, your breasts clad in his favorite color on you. 

“I’d ask you to take off your skirt too but you need my help with that too don’t you puppy?”

You were quick to nod, desperately wanting to be naked as soon as possible knowing that the sooner Remus had access to your cunt the sooner you’d be feeling good. 

Opposite to the civil, careful approach he took in ridding you of your shirt, Remus quite literally tore your skirt from your waist, leaving your skin stinging at the aggression of his act. A blush creeped up your neck as your cunt pulsed at his action, watching him inspect the ruined material.

“How can you even wear something this small? It's so small, so short. What does it even cover? I wouldn’t even fit one of my thighs.” Ironically he took the time to carefully fold the skirt and set it on his desk before pulling you even closer to his body by your waist as if you weighed nothing. He splayed his hand out against your lower stomach, frowning as he watched the skin of your belly disappear underneath it. 

“So much prettier when I can see my cock inside of it, it's practically half your size puppy.” 

“Want your cock Sir, please give me your cock,” You pleaded shamelessly, gripping at his forearms.

“Beg,” He ordered simply and unwaveringly.

Not missing a beat you did exactly as he asked, and you begged, “Please Sir, please give me your cock, I need your cock. Feel so empty without it. Please Sir, make me feel good. I’ve been a good girl I promise.”

“You wouldn’t lie to me would you bunny?”

“No Sir, I would never lie to you.”

“Good,” He nodded approvingly before swiftly pulling you down so that you were on your knees before him, “You look so pretty on your knees, so easy to get you there for me, so obedient,” He murmured affectionately brushing a finger delicately across your cheekbone which already felt warm erupted into flame at his touch.

Wordlessly he started on undoing his belt, the distinct clink of the metal sending shockwaves through your body, your mouth began watering as he undid his zipper, pulling both his trousers and boxers down slowly, allowing his hardening cock to spring out against his stomach. 

You began to reach for his cock but quickly stopped yourself, looking up at him, blinking owlishly, “Sir, may I touch your cock?”

“Go ahead Puppy.”

As soon as he granted you permission you were on your calves, kneeling forward to take his cock in your hand which barely wrapped all the way around it, your fingertips only brushing each other as you pumped your hand up and down on his member. 

“Maybe your hands are good for something,” Remus growled, “So tiny but they can still pump cock can’t they?” His harsh words were contrasted by his delicate touch as he brushed hair from your perspiring forehead. Then threading his long, slender fingers through your hair they anchored themselves at the back of your head, using his leverage he tilted your head upwards to make eye contact. “You gonna wrap those pretty lips around my cock Princess? Make me feel good?”

Your answer came as you leaned forward, his hand not even needing to guide you into motion. You peaked just the tip of your tongue out between your teeth to kitten lick the head of his cock, lapping over the slit feeling the grip on the back of your head tighten.

“Don’t tease me Puppy,” He warned lowly.

Taking his threat at face value you licked a broad stripe up the underside of his cock, tracing a distinct vein that thrummed under your oral muscle. Breathing in deeply you sucked the tip of his cock in between your lips, looking up at him you saw his eyes clenched closed as he tried to refrain from bucking his hips up into your mouth. 

Working the entirety of his cock into your mouth you gagged as he hit the back of your throat, seeing that you were only half way down his now completely engorged member you willed your gag reflex to not get in the way of your mission as you forced him further down your throat. Feeling a few tears run down your face you wrapped your hands around the few inches that you couldn’t quite fit, working them up and down the sensitive, exposed skin.

“Such a good puppy,” He praised, “Taking my cock so far down your throat, can see it bulging in your throat. See,” He reached out, tracing his outline down your neck, “Right there, such a good little thing taking me in your mouth.”

As you bobbed your head up and down on his cock, hollowing your cheeks Remus let out a pornographic moan, god you loved when he was vocal. The sounds of his groans and grunts spurred you on, daring you to take him deeper into your mouth until your nose was finally nestled in his happy trail, brushing against his pubic bone, saliva making a mess of your lower face.

“Gonna cum Puppy, gonna cum down your throat, and you’re gonna swallow it all up for me like a good girl.”

He was right, he was about to cum and you could feel his balls starting to tighten, wanting to get him there you moaned around his cock which was still resting deep in your throat, his movements chafing your vocal cords. 

The vibrations of your moan sent Remus over the edge, causing him to buck uncontrollably into your mouth, triggering the gag reflex you’d been able to keep dormant up until then. As he came he let out a string of curses, allowing his head to tip backwards and rest languidly against the back of his chair.

You kept his cock in your mouth, swallowing each strand of cum he shot down your throat until he removed himself from you and letting his dick hang lazily in between his legs as he leaned down, melding his lips with yours.

“Did I make you feel good Sir, did I satisfy you?” 

He let out a dry laugh, nodding his head slowly as he already began to recover from his orgasm. “Yes, puppy, made me feel really good.” To your bewilderment he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head before turning his chair back towards his desk, leaving you, mouth agape, trying to figure out what to say. He wasn’t really going to leave you like this, was he?

You were too confused to notice the subtle smirk pulling at his lips, he knew exactly what he was doing. He really did want to make you feel good, you’d made him feel so amazing just moments earlier and he wanted to reward you for that. But he was going to make you ask, like the good girl he knew you were.

“Yes, bunny?” He lilted, picking up his quill and dipping it into his pot of ink.

“I-I thought you were going to make me feel good Sir?” You asked, rubbing your thighs together, desperate for release.

“Is that how we ask, bunny?”

“No, Sir, I’m sorry. Please make me feel good,” You corrected yourself.

“That’s better,” He murmured approvingly, pushing his chair back out from his desk where he abandoned his quill, smearing ink on a random paper.

With a flick of his wrist you were getting up off your knees, standing submissively before him, you could now feel your slick on the inside of your thighs.

“Over here Poppet, on my thigh.” He helped you straddle his bare thigh, causing you to gasp at the mere sensation of him between your legs.

“You wanna cum? Then you can cum on my thigh while I finish up these papers, then when I’m done, if you’ve been a good girl I’ll fuck your little pussy.”

“O-okay Sir,” You nodded, beginning to thrust yourself against his thigh, the ridges rubbing deliciously against your soaked clit. It practically killed you as he went back to his work, the sound of his quill scratching against parchment nothing compared to the sound of his grunts as he destroyed your cunt. 

Remembering what was promised to you if you were a good girl and got yourself off on his thigh, you got back to work. Dragging your clit up and down his leg, you tortured yourself, not letting you go as fast as you desperately wanted to, knowing you’d get teased for being so needy and desperate. 

Throwing your arms around his neck you picked up your pace and feeling pleasure boil in the pit of your belly you tried to suppress a moan, knowing that good girls wouldn’t distract their Sirs while they tried to do work while at the same time letting their sluts get off. But despite your best efforts a soft moan escaped your red, swollen lips. 

“Keep quiet slut,” Remus scolded, the sound of quill to parchment not even pausing as he spoke to you, “Or you won’t get your reward.”

It was fate that you managed to remain quiet as you more closely approached your orgasm, you were so close the pleasure boiling in your stomach had you twitching as you shamelessly thrusted into Remus’ thigh, giving up on any pretenses of self control. You reached down to rub at your clit, desperate to tip over the edge of pleasure you were currently tip-toeing, but even while multitasking Remus was still the most observant person you’d ever met. Catching your hand before it ever made its way to your clit he squeezed it harshly.

“You know better than to touch what’s mine without asking Princess, come on slut, get yourself off on my thigh. You’re close, don’t even try to deny it.”

There was no correcting him as your climax washed over you at his command, sinking your teeth into his still clothed shoulder to muffle your scream as waves of pleasure crested through you, leaving you a shaking mess as cunt pulsed around nothing, still painfully empty.

You sighed, throwing your head onto Remus’ shoulder as he finally dropped his quill again and rested his hand on your back, rubbing it soothingly until coming to the clasp of your bra, expertly undoing it with one hand while the other anchored itself in your hair, pulling your head back to look you in the eyes.

“Aw, puppy don’t tell me you’re too fucked out already? Haven’t even given you my cock yet.”

“No, no Sir, m’not done, I can take more, I need more, please.” You begged unabashedly. 

That was all Remus needed before hooking his hands underneath your thighs and lifting you up into his arms. Shifting your weight to one arm he used the other to swipe the contents of his desk onto the floor, paying the sound of shattering glass no mind as he dropped you onto the desk. Your clothed bum hitting the unforgiving wood.

“Look at you,” Remus murmured, leaning back to take in your appearance, bare tits on display for him, legs clenched together hiding your closed pussy from his view. Sliding his hands between your closed legs he forced them apart, you putting up no resistance making it an easy feat for the werewolf. 

A simper graced his lips, now being able to take in the view of your clit, partially visible through the soaked material of your white panties. 

“So wet,” He mocked, reaching out a single finger to gently massage your clit, “So wet and I haven’t even touched you. How pathetic.”

Without warning, just as he did with your skirt, he tore your panties off your body, slightly less impressive now that you’d already seen him do it with much more substantial fabric, but still enough to send another gush of wetness to your cunt.

Lifting your bum up from the desk you allowed him to slip the waste of fabric out from beneath you. 

“You want me to fuck your cunt now puppy? You want my cock in you?” He taunted, pumping his hand up and down his cock, appraising your body, smiling as he took in his favorite sight in the world.

“Yes please Sir, need your cock, feel so empty without.”

“Course you do,” Quicker than you could comprehend what was happening Remus had abandoned his cock and instead had flipped you around so that your waist up pressed against the worn wood of the desk. You were forced to support yourself on your forearms as your legs dangled uselessly in the air, toes barely grazing the floor of his office. A chuckle in Remus’ low baritone sounded through the room, “So small your feet can’t even reach the floor, how adorable,” He accentuated his point with a slap to your arse, causing you to jolt forward.

“Sir,” You whined, “Please, I need you.”

“You think this little cunt can take my cock? So small, I might just break it.” He mused, pushing his index finger into you, smiling when your walls clenched around him. 

“No Sir, I promise I can take it. I’ve taken it before.”

“That you have Poppet,” He agreed, positioning himself behind you, you gasped, feeling the head of his cock trace your clit before he pushed the entirety of his length into your quivering hole, watching as you greedily sucked in all 9 inches of him.

“Fuck!” You swore, Remus’ rule slipping your mind as you lost yourself in pleasure.

“Don’t be a naughty whore (Y/N),” He warned, “Told you not to swear, didn’t I?” He questioned as he began to thrust into you unforgivingly, gripping your hips to stabilize you on the desk as without it you were uselessly sliding against the desk.

“I’m sorry!” You screamed as pleasure began to overwhelm you, with so little break between your last orgasm and the current ministrations on your pussy you were a whimpering mess.

“You should be,” He growled, leaning over you, bracing himself on his forearms to whisper in your year, “M’so good to you, least you could do is follow my rules. They’re not that strict.”

“They’re not!” You agreed as the new position allowed him to hit a new place inside you, intensifying your pleasure tenfold, if that was even possible at this point.

Gripping your hips and lifting them up slightly Remus increased his bruising pace, the combined sensations of his cock inside of you, his balls slapping against your clit, and you upper body rubbing against the desk had your eyes rolling back in your head as the pleasure began to overwhelm you.

At this point you were being fucked so thoroughly and ruthlessly that your feet weren’t even grazing the floor anymore, instead they were limp, hitting against the front of Remus’ desk as he supported your weight in his hands.

Remus was able to stretch you out like no one ever had before, to the point where pleasure bordered pain and the line between the two blurred to the point where you weren’t even sure if you knew what day of the week it was.

“What a little slut, if anyone came in right now they’d see you getting fucked by your professor,” You moaned at Remus’ filthy words which went directly to your cunt. “You’d like that though, my little exhibitionist.” Another smack to your bum was delivered as Remus lifted your lips even further into the air to reach new depths inside you. “Always so hungry for my cock aren’t you? Can’t go a single day without me filling this cunt of yours, can you?”

Your response was swallowed by a moan as Remus sped up his thrusts as his cock started to twitch inside you, causing you to clench your pussy around him.

“I’m close Sir, may I cum?” You pleaded, your voice shaking with the effort it was taking you to keep your orgasm at bay. 

“No,” He commanded through gritted teeth, “You’re not gonna cum until I say you can.”

“Ye-es, Sir.”

Remus growled as his thrusts stuttered, cumming inside you, rope after rope of thick cum painting your walls in his release. He stayed there inside you, leaning over you, your back pressed to his chest until he caught his breath. 

Pulling out of you he smiled, watching his cum drip from your cunt, “So pretty,” he murmured pushing a finger inside you and with it his release. 

“S-Sir?” You stuttered, not daring to move from your position until he said you could.

“Yes Puppy?”

“I didn’t cum.”

“You think I didn’t notice that? I’m not daft,” He shoved two fingers inside you, pumping them in and out viciously before completely pulling them out of your hole causing a pathetic whimper to escape your lips at the empty feeling that settled in the pit of your stomach where your pleasure still simmered.

“Feel so empty without something in there don’t you?”

“Yes, Sir.” 

“Get yourself up to my bedroom and when I get up there after I finish these last few papers I’ll make you cum over and over again Puppy.” With a light swat to your bum he zipped himself back into his pants but you were too desperate to move. “Now, before I change my mind.”

That got you up off his desk, darting up the stairs to his room where you laid dutifully on his bed, waiting for his arrival.

tagging: @randomoutsiders @weasleyposts

[jungwonenthusiast]

This is my first time here so I'm new but 2 & 15 Jay prompt (hard dom) female reader😣 Jay would say it...

A/N: I’m not really satisfied with this one, I feel like it isn’t good enough but I hope you still enjoy it. I also made Jay more of a soft dom bc I thought it fit the concept more but I tried to add a bit of degradation here and there :)

Warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f recieving), very slight degredation

Word count: 1.9 k

Tonight was the night, you could feel it. You’ve been dating Jay for a while and of course you’ve fantasized about it a lot, but you never felt like you were truly ready until now.

You’re watching a movie in your room when you lean over to peck his jaw. This earns no reaction so you move to his neck and kiss down until you reach the collar of his shirt.

“What’s up with you today?” he chuckles as you struggle to get his attention.

“I missed you.” you say and kiss him softly on the lips.

“I saw you yesterday.” he smiles.

“Still.” you kiss him harder this time and he finally gets the notice.

He pulls you onto his lap and sets his glasses on the nightstand.

You’ve made out before but it was usually more playful and just a way to show affection. This time it’s passionate and it’s evident that you both want something.

Your breathing gets a little heavy when his lips find your neck. He bites you softly and you giggle.

His hands sneak up your top and gently rub your sides.

He tastes like a woodfire and lust and you want him so bad that you can’t help but rock your hips against his. He smiles against your lips.

“This is new.” he says quietly and you giggle.

You feel a bit nervous and giddy but even more than that, excited.

“I think I’m ready.” you tell him and he cocks a brow.

“For what?”

“You know what.” you shove his shoulder a bit.

His eyes light up. “Really? Are you sure?”

You giggle again. He makes you very giggly. “Mhm.”

“You’re not just saying that because you think I want it right? I mean I do want it— a lot— but you know what I mean.”

You’ve never seen him nervous like this before. “Yes I’m sure. I’m saying it because I want it too.”

“Okay good,” he pecks your cheek. “Let’s continue shall we?”

You laugh and nod before crashing your lips against his.

He keeps one hand on your waist and the other on your chest, groping and massaging you.

After giving you a light hickey he flips you over so your back is on the bed. Just him doing that sends heat between your legs. You look so gorgeous displayed under him it gives him an instant hard on.

He kisses you and slides his knee between your thighs. Your breath hitches.

His hand trails from your chest up to your throat where he squeezes lightly. You let out a small moan and he smiles.

“I had a feeling you’d like that.” he says and kisses you again.

His knee has been pushing up on you for a bit, but now you’re craving something more. You grab his hand and place it at the band of your shorts.

“Do you need something?” he asks and you roll your eyes. “Don’t give me attitude, tell me what you want.”

Your sass is put to an end right away. You cave so easily under him. “Touch me please.”

“Attagirl.” he smiles and slips his fingers down the thin fabric.

Your whole body tenses once you feel him. It’s such a foreign feeling, having someone else touch you like this.

“Relax baby,” he kisses your neck. “I’ll make you feel good.” And he does.  

You moan at the first circle to your clit. You grip his wrist hard.

He smirks. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

“Stop it.” you whine and he chuckles.

“It’s cute.” he says and kisses you with zeal.

He pulls the collar on your shirt down so he can place a hickey on your collarbone.

How can he multitask so well? You ask yourself.

It’s soon when your thighs begin to tremble.

“Not yet, not yet baby.” he says and settles himself between your legs. Oh. Your knees fall together right on que and he laughs. “Stop that.”

“I’m shy~” you complain.

“Since when,” he says. “You’re usually so bold.”

After some words of encouragement he finally gets your legs spread.

He tugs your shorts off leaving you in just your underwear. He snaps the band. “These are nice.”

You laugh and kick him in the shoulder. “You’re ruining the mood.”

“I’m just being myself.” he says and kisses your thigh. The kisses get messier and open mouthed as they travel down.

He runs his tongue on the lining of your underwear and at this point you're on the verge of begging for it. You squirm under him and he nips at your skin.

“Patience.” he says and gives you a few more kisses before finally sliding your underwear off.

He pulls away to admire you for a moment. “Such a pretty cunt.”

You feel your cheeks burn red and you resist closing your legs again.

He holds you tight before dipping his head down and licking one stripe up your pussy. Your thighs tense. It was just one touch, how does it feel so good.

He feeds off your pleasure and continues to lick agonizingly slow circles on your clit, paying attention to when your thighs would clench and when you would tug at his hair.

Your sounds are so intoxicating he could swear you’re a siren luring him to his death. But if he were to die by making you feel like this, it’d be worth it.

Soon you're a shaking mess, grabbing at the sheets and rolling your hips over his mouth. And you’re seconds away from finishing when he pulls away, You have to hold yourself back from socking him in the jaw.

“What was that for?” you whine.

“What?” he tugs his shirt over his head. “Do I make you feel that good?”

What a prick. A really hot one, but still a prick.

“Yes,” you admit. “Please keep going.”

“Hold on sweetheart I have something better planned,” he unbuttons his jeans “now just lay there and be pretty for me.”

He pushes your thighs up and rubs the head of his cock against your clit.

“Fuck,” you whisper and he kisses you. You taste yourself on his lips; sweet and treacly.

He kisses your neck. “How bad do you want it?”

You nod. “Really bad.”

“I don’t believe you. Convince me.” he teases and of course, you fold.

“Please fuck me, you know I need it.”

You saying that makes him lose his mind a little bit. “That’s more like it.” he lines himself up with you before slowly pushing in.

After being edged for so long, you nearly cum from the feeling of being filled up.

“So fucking tight.” he growls into your neck.

He lets you adjust to his size before slowly thrusting into you. You grab at his back and let a moan escape your throat.

“Feels good huh?”

You nod pathetically and cover your face with hands.

He takes them off. “Don’t do that, I wanna see your pretty face.” you listen to him and try to ignore how exposed you feel. You’re comfortable because it’s Jay but it still feels so new.

You cling onto him and curse into his neck. “Keep going please.”

He smiles. “What a good slut, so desperate for this cock.”

Your eyes roll back as his tip hits your g-spot over and over again.

He kisses you before pounding into you, holding onto the headboard for leverage.

You let out a sultry whine and he groans.

“Touch yourself.” he says to you. “Show me how you like it.”

It makes you feel shy but you listen to him. Your fingers travel down to your clit and with him fucking you like this, you almost go insane from how good everything feels. Every touch and every word sends you into a euphoria that you’ve never felt before. You’re almost embarrassed about how he could get you like this.

“How long have you thought about me fucking you like this?” he asks.

“So long,” you say softly. “You’re so good.”

“Naughty,” he kisses your neck. “I never knew you were so bad.”

You start to feel the fire grow hotter and hotter in the pit of your stomach and you hold on to his arms as hard as you can.

“Fuck,” you whimper. “Please make me cum.”

“Close already?” he chuckles “You’re easy to get off.”

“Please?” you ask with more desperation in your voice.

He smirks. “Does my baby need to cum that bad?” his hand finds your throat again. “Are you that much of a needy slut?”

His fake sympathy just makes you wetter. So wet that you can hear it every time he slams into you.

“Yes Jay, just please make me cum.” you beg him. The look in your face is so hopeless and enticing that he has so choice but to comply.

“Alright princess, only because you asked so nicely.” he starts to thrust into you faster. You can hear the bed frame rattling. “Keep rubbing your clit baby, that’s it.”

He’s so gorgeous with that fierce look in his eyes and his black hair hanging over his face. You hold tight onto his wrist as you start pulse around him.

“Fuck,” he moans quietly. “Cum on this cock, I know you can.”

You push all of your worries to the back of your head and stay focused on him. His cock thrusting in and out of you, the sound of your wet pussy, your juices being rubbed on your clit, the squeeze on your neck, and dirty words being whispered into your ear.

“Look at you all spread out for me like this like a little fuck doll.” he says and just like that, you're crying out, cumming so hard that you're on the verge of tears.

“That’s it,” he whispers to you. “What a good girl.” he kisses you slowly, wanting to give you his love in a way that can’t be communicated with words. You feel his love. It fills your chest with a golden light. He watches your face contort in pleasure and that alone sends him over the edge. “Fuck,” he groans.

He pulls out and wipes away the tears that started to spill out of your eyes. “Are you okay baby? Was I too rough?”

“No no,” you shake your head and giggle. “It just felt really good.”

“Your thighs are shaking so much.” he points out which you didn’t even notice until he did so.

You look away, blushing.

“Damn I guess I am good.” he says with a smug look on his face.

You roll your eyes. “Fuck off you ass.”

“What? There’s physical evidence.” he points at your legs. “I am a sex god.”

You fall back onto your back, laughing. “You’re such a goof.”

“And a sex god.” he says and you kick him.

“Quit it and go get me a towel.”

“Fine fine,” he backs off with a grin.

He tugs his clothes on before heading out the door.

You nearly pass out when you hear him say. “Yo Sunghoon guess what I just did?”

[mysewingadventures]

How To Tell Victorian Clothing Apart By Decades

First and foremost, Karolina Żebrowska made a video about this quite some time ago explaing everything in detail, but I just wanted to make my own little checklist and mention some things that I’ve noticed for myself. Of course, this list won’t be foolproof as I’m only going to talk about the most popular styles at the time and people technically could have made a regency gown in 1900, but... that’s not the point. For the sake of being able to show everything with pictures, I’m going to leave the Regency period out as I’ve already made a separate post about it.

The Victorian era is commonly packed into the visual of a brown bustle dress and/or the typical wide dresses of the Civil War, but the Victorian era actually spans over 64 years and many, many different styles.

Queen Victoria was crowned in 1837, so let’s start in the 1830s.

The 30s were wild, and that’s one word to describe it, but that mostly goes for the first half of the decade. Huge sleeves and full skirts were the thing, often in patterns inspired by wallpaper. That’s right - stripes, florals and anything that stood out was the hit. The off-the-shoulder look is just as important though, that’s what creates the round shoulder shape, together with the puff sleeves. The waistline sat a little higher than the natural waistline and was usually adorned with a belt. In the second half of the decade the sleeves started to "travel downwards", as in they started smocking or gathering the top part of the sleeve and just leave the pouf at the bottom.

The 40s left the puff sleeves and bright patterns behind, leaving high necklines, tighter sleeves and lowered the waistline to its natural position. Something very popular was the gathered front of a bodice and that trend even lasted into the early 50s. Skirts grew a little wider, requiring more support from layers upon layers of petticoats.

With the 50s here, ruffles came into fashion. If you see a wide, ruffled skirt, it’s probably from the 1850s. Some bodices extended over the hips now and almost looked like coats. Another important aspect: the pagoda sleeve. And obviously it’s important to note that the crinoline was finally patented in 1856. No more layers upon layers of corded petticoats! But this meant that dresses could be even wider than before. However, keep in mind that in the 50s, the crinoline had a round shape whereas in the 60s it started to become oval and extended further towards the back.

With the 60s, ruffles went out of fashion and synthetic dyes were invented, this meant brighter colors for a wider population! Actually, synthetic dyes were already invented in 56, but just like everything it took a while to make all the colors and really catch on so I’m counting it towards the 60s, because that’s when brightly colored dresses really took off. I find that especially evening dresses look very similar to 50s evening dresses so for me the best way to tell them apart is to look at the shape of the crinoline. Not to mention that a lot of people certainly continued to wear or slighly altered their 50s dresses but with a new crinoline.

Now we’re in the bustle era - the shape of the crinoline became slimmer but extended further towards the back, creating the bustle. I still find myself struggling telling mid 70s styles apart from the 80s, but there are some things I look at.

Firstly, the shape of the bustle. Early 70s style bustles are still pretty wide compared to the later silhouettes. Generally, you can say that in the 1870s, the profile of the bustle has a more gentle curve, the curve is not as steep. Also, a lot of 70s day dresses have trains. Many people actually started recycling old 18th century gowns into 1870s dresses so you can see a lot of inspiration and similarity in the shapes and how the dress is put together. The collars often mimick those of 18th century gowns and the back is draped like it was on a Robe à la Polonaise. Towards the very end of the 70s, bustles went out of style and women wore their dresses without a bustle.

Now on to the 1880s. Like I mentioned, the style was very similar but the bustle came back into fashion and became steeper. The necklines on day dresses were high and the collars weren’t square anymore. The draping of the overskirt still stuck, but the skirts became overall a little less wide. Very popular in the mid 1880s was draping the overskirt asymmetrically. That is the best giveaway if you’re unsure. Trains on day dresses still existed but weren’t as common as in the 70s. And once again, towards the very end of the decade the bustle went out of fashion, this time for good.

The 90s - certainly my favorite decade in the 19th century. Big sleeves were back! But no off-shoulder day dresses and the waistline was at its natural position. Pretty much all skirts were now straight in the front and gathered in the back - a very popular look. The size of the sleeves and the width of the dress reached its peak in 1895 and after that it all decreased in size again until the puff sleeve went out of fashion in 1898-99. Bodices had a slightly looser fit than in the decade before but were still tight-ish.

Now, the Victorian era only lasted up until 1901, but I’ve decided to add the 1900s to this list just because I really like that decade as well and think the clothes are really pretty.

So, in the 1900s the silhouette changed once again. Now, loose lace blouses were all the rage and the so-called pigeon breast silhouette was created with the help of an s-bend corset and a lot of stategical padding, a frilly corset cover and a loose gathered bodice. At the waist, you’d usually find a silk belt called a sash that matched the dress. The straight front skirts stayed but changed their shape slightly to be bell-shaped and flare out at the bottom. A lot of lace was used for gowns as well as frills and dainty details. But on the other side, a working woman would usually just wear a light colored blouse with a usually dark skirt and wear a belt to tie the outfit together.

So this was my way to tell the decades apart! I specifically love 19th century fashion because every decade is so different from the one before and it’s so fascinating how quickly styles changed back then.

[house-of-slayterr]

Mother Has Fallen:

Tag: @oceansrose2002 @myers-meadow-selfship @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better

An: This happens right after Blinky’s mom shows up. Sorry the story is so disjointed, I honestly feel like this is how Blinky would tell their story. Just random memories in no particular order. Once I’m finished with backstory it will be more straight forward lol.

CW: Smut and harsh language (D Slur)

Macy’s POV:

I wasted no time getting on my bike. Blinky’s voice sounded tired and exasperated over the phone. It pained my heart to hear, and I couldn’t stand to watch idly by if my partner was in trouble. I forwent laws, driving as fast as my bike could go. I had quick reflexes and not many people were on the road at this time. When I finally made it to our spot, I barely had time to park before I was rushing over to them.

They somehow looked even smaller in the oversized hoodie they were wearing. And even in the dark I could see some tear stains on their face. They finally looked up at me, and smiled, but it didn’t come close to reaching their eyes. It was a pity smile.

“Oh, Sweetheart.” I said.

Engulfing them into a hug.

“Hey, I’m here, what happened?”

They shook their head, their curls falling into the face. This was one of the few times I saw them with their hair down. They never really let it be entirely natural before. I kicked myself for thinking it looked nice at a time like this. And quickly pushed the thought from my mind.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Where do you want to go?”

“Yours.” They said simply.

I froze. There was no possible way I could take them home. It would be like throwing a steak into the lions den. I couldn’t do that to them.

“Blinky, my family-“

“I don’t care. I want to be with you right now. Only you, I don’t care about anything else.” They said desperately.

I sighed, bringing them tighter into the hug if that was even possible. It looked like they were about to cry again and I wasn’t going to let that happen. I pulled them back, leaning down and holding their face in my hands.

“Just, stay beside me ok?”

“Wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.” They said flatly.

I turned to grab things from my bike satchel. I handed them a helmet and they looked confused.

“I got it custom made for you. Your hair should fit.”

They smiled up at me, more akin to their usual one, but no where near as heart stopping. I watched as they put their helmet on, and was relived to know it fit well. I helped them onto my bike and didn’t say anything else until we made the long drive home. I knew they appreciated the silence. It wasn’t awkward for them, but my head was spiralling. What the fuck could have happened?

It was quite late when I picked them up, but the sun was dawning on the horizon now. Peaking its head through the clouds, which I was thankful for. It seemed no matter the season, Texas always managed to have uncomfortably humid weather. Despite this, I could feel Blinky shivering in front of me. I tried to move my body even closer to help warm them up. But I’ve wasn’t sure the shivering was entirely due to wind chill. It was about midday when I finally made it home.

I helped them off my bike, their legs wobbling slightly.

“I’m good, I’m fine.” They said, like it was an automatic response.

“I don’t care, I’m carrying you inside.” I said firmly.

I wouldn’t let them fight me on this. Whatever reaction their body was having to their distress, didn’t look good on her. She almost looked like a scared child. Of course, their size didn’t help. It never did. I put our helmets on the handles of my bike and scooped them up. Not without some grumbling from them which made me laugh a little. They said something about it being “unfair.”

I knew the house would be busy right now, so I tried to think of the quickest path to my room. But luck was not on my side today. As I pushed open the front door, I was immediately greeted by the smell of Luda cooking. If there was one thing that woman was good at, it was making food. She must have heard the front door open.

“Macy, is that you?”

“Yeah Ma, it’s me.” I grumble shouted.

“Come here, I need your help reaching something.”

I sighed, looking down at Blinky in my arms. Somehow they seemed more relaxed, they lazily nodded toward the kitchen where they heard Luda speak. I carried them into the kitchen, setting them down on the dinner table.

“What do you need?” I asked.

She finally looked away from the pot she was stirring and her eyes locked in on Blinky.

“Who’s this?” She asked.

At least she was attempting to be in a polite mood today.

“A friend, Ma what do you need?” I asked again.

Trying my best to draw attention back to myself.

“I need the pasta off the top shelf, your brother put away the groceries.”

Normally I’d laugh, but I wasn’t really in the mood. I quickly made my way over to the cabinet and grabbed it down for her.

“Anything else?”

“You’re moody today.” She commented.

I rolled my eyes.

“Introduce me to your friend.” It wasn’t a request and I understood that.

“Ma, this is Blinky, Blinky this is my mother Luda Mae.”

Blinky sent a polite wave. I could tell they were exhausted. They looked like they hadn’t slept in days. Which wasn’t far off from how they normally looked. But I was more concerned than usual.

“That’s an odd name? You’re parents named you that?”

I groaned. Already with the insults.

“No ma’am, my sister named me.”

There voice came out small, but it was by no means nervous.

“Your sister a crack baby?”

My eyes widened, I turned to look at Blinky but they didn’t seem perturbed in the slightest. Still lazily kicking their legs back and forth, a stim they did a lot. It was the quickest way to calm them down, get their feet off the floor.

“You got a problem with people suffering from addictions Miss Luda Mae?” Blinky asked.

They never faltered in eye contact, staring my mother down. Something few people dared to do and live. I started to get nervous, but I was also curious. Who wouldn’t be, I’ve never seen Blink behave like this before. Other than that one time a man tried to grab my ass, and she practically growled at him.

My mother squared her shoulders, but kept up her polite host persona. But I could tell it was quickly cracking. But I’d be able to get Blinky out of here if I needed to step in. Perhaps they would be offend if I did. I knew they could handle themself, but it was natural instinct to be protective.

“I guess not. Got any other siblings?” My mother went back to stirring her stew.

I knew what she was cooking. I could smell the blood in the basement from here. Tommy was probably very busy right now, which sucked cause he was the only person here I actually wanted Blinky to meet. And I knew he’d be comfortable with it, I’d been talking about Blinky since the first day I came home. Trying my best to retell their kooky stories as well as they could. Thomas was always begging to hear more of our biweekly meetings. Kept entirely secret from anyone else.

“Three, I think… my family doesn’t really define those relations.” Blinky shrugged.

Luda squinted her eyes.

“I know Macy’s got Tommy.” Blinky added.

My mother tensed, turning her attention back to my girlfriend. Mama was always overprotective of Thomas. Which I was genuinely thankful for. I knew she at least had his back when the others ganged up on him.

“What do you know about my boy Thomas?”

Oh no, this wasn’t good. I was going to step in but Blinky beat me to it.

“I know that he’s a lovely boy, who loves his Mama.”

Blinky smiled politely, but with a vastly different look in their eyes. They were testing my mother back. Luda huffed.

“You staying for dinner?”

“That’s entirely up to your daughter Ma’am”

“We’ll be in my room Ma.”

Luda hummed in distaste. I quickly took Blinky’s hand and tried to drag them up stairs. But as fate would have it, Hoyt and Monty were home.

“What are we kidnapping children now?” Hoyt commented.

I groaned, roughly planting my foot on the ground and stopping our momentum. Naturally Blinky turned to see who was talking. But as promised, they remained at my side. Hoyt stood up from his chair, ignoring the screen. He was still dressed in his work clothes, which I was sure Blinky took note of. They didn’t exactly have much trust in cops, but I didn’t really blame them. I’m sure Hoyt would have been itching for his trigger if his gun was in his holster right now. I growled under my breath.

“This where you been?” He asked me, ignoring Blinky entirely.

“The fuck do you care?”

“You’re staying in my house.” He challenged.

Blinky squeezed my hand slightly, a silent gesture of comfort.

“And we’re just about to go to MY room. We ain’t gonna bother ya.” My accent got thicker when I was upset.

I knew I didn’t have the best education growing up, but I tried to sound smarter in front of Blinky. Not that they asked me to, or ever made me feel I had to. I just wanted to be better for them. I even read on of their favourite books that they had gifted me last visit. I wasn’t finished by I was damn close. I’d certainly have a lot of questions, but I knew she’d have answers and I was looking forward to it.

“Taking girls to your room again?” Uncle monty asked, but his tone was disgusting.

I rolled my eyes. I had just about enough of this.

“Yes Monty, I’m taking my GIRLFRIEND to my room, if you have a problem with that, shove it up your ass old man!”

“What, couldn’t find a man so you moved onto teenagers?” Hoyt scoffed.

“I’m an adult thank you very much.” Blinky said, their voice flat once more.

But I could tell they were upset, with the way their hand trembled slightly in mine. I thought for a moment they were scared, but I was very very wrong.

“Whatever Dykes, you disgust me girl.” Hoyt got up in my face.

I was going to defend myself, but I didn’t want to start something in front of Blinky. If this got physical, they could get hurt. What I wasn’t expecting was for Blinky to drop my hand and step to him.

“Call her that… one more time…” she said lowly.

Hoyt let out a cackle.

“And what are you gonna do about it? Runt? I called my niece a Dyke cause that’s what she is, fifthly woman loving queer.” He leaned down, getting in their face.

Blinky pulled him down by his collar.

“I am going to cut off your dick, and shove it so far down your throat, you’ll choke. Maybe if you get a dick in you, you’ll find out being gay ain’t all the bad. Looks like you haven’t been fucked in a while you walking old corpse.”

Then they let him go. Stepping back and struggling themselves out. I stood there completely stunned.

“He homophobic to me all you want, call my girlfriend a slur again, you’ll wake up with a knife in your tiny, none existent heart. ffycin dyn rhyfedd.”

They never once raised their voice, keeping it calm and monotone. Even their Welsh hadn’t sounded that different, just sounding a little more natural in their mouth. They told me on our third date that they weren’t so good at English, but I had to politely disagree. Their English was better than mine half the time. I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face, as I watched Hoyt try to decide if he would call their bluff or not. He simply scoffed and walked away. I was quick to lead them to my room and close the door.

“I’m sorry about them.”

“Don’t. Don’t apologise for their behaviour. It has nothing to do with you.”

I frowned, we’re they upset with me now? Maybe I should have defended them against my mother. The sighed, rubbing their face on their sleeve.

“I didn’t mean to raise my voice. Im just-“ they let out an annoyed grunt.

“Why are people like this?” They sighed.

“I don’t know Blink.” I shrugged, pulling them into my lap as I sat on my bed.

Apparently this was the wrong move, well, not wrong, I certainly wasn’t complaining about what they did next. I blinked as they pulled me in for a passionate kiss. I laughed as I pulled away.

“What was that?”

“Wanna make them really angry?” They asked.

A sparkle coming back to their eyes. How could I say no to a face like that. They turned around on my lap, straddling one of my thighs and putting their arms around my neck to pull me in for another kiss. I hadn’t even expected them to want to be touched right now, let alone this. Sometimes touch overwhelmed them, and I respected that. We’d never really gotten farther than kissing. Which was nothing like my previous relationships.

Most of them started out as friends with benefits, and never progressed past that. Expect for the last one, but I shouldn’t be thinking about her right now. Not when Blinky was on top of me. I leaned back on the bed a bit, propping myself up on the bed and leaning away from the kiss. Blinky looked at me confused.

“Blink, you’re upset, maybe we shouldn’t do this right now.”

I wanted to do things right with her. I really really liked her, and I was afraid to scare her off. This was probably the longest I’d ever held back in a relationship before. But they were also younger, not by much. But they probably didn’t have much experience. I wanted to take things slow.

“What does that have to do with anything.”

“I’m just saying, maybe you aren’t thinking with a clear head is all.”

They removed their hands from around my neck, and crossed them over my chest.

“Macy.”

“Yea?” They has my full attention, it wasn’t like there was much competition.

“I’m literally throwing myself at you right now. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your pent up frustration. And I’m supposed to be the socially oblivious one here.” They chuckled slightly.

“You were crying a few hours ago.”

“And now, I want to fuck you. You in, or not?”

If this is what they were like when they were angry, then this could be fun. That seemed like pretty clear consent to me, so I pulled them in for another kiss, this one sloppier than the last. I was still holding back, not wanting to hurt them. Not unless they asked me to of course. They giggled into the kiss, much more like them normal self now. I was a little surprised when they bit at my bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood.

“Oops” they said, bringing their finger to their lip and licking the blood off of it.

It was in that moment that I couldn’t even think about earlier anymore. I didn’t give a damn that anyone was in this god forsaken house. My pupils were probably blown wide by now. I stared at them hungrily. God they were so hot right now. I wrapped my hand around their waist, which covered most of their back. They kissed my cheek.

“I’m sorry, did that hurt?”

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, just licking the rest of the blood of my own lip. They then kissed near my jaw.

“You’ll tell me if I hurt you yeah?”

They kissed the crook of my neck. I let out a little laugh, breaking out of my trance.

“If you hurt me?” I mused.

“Mmmhmm” the mumbled, sucking down on my neck like their life depended on it.

I certainly didn’t expect them to be this excited about it. Or feel this good. Maybe patience was a virtue. Or whatever the fuck the phrase was. The stoped attacking my neck to go to the other side, reaching to unbutton my shirt. Normally I’d take the lead, but I was curious to see how far they’re go before they got shy. I stabled us with my other hand still on the bed.

“Careful Bumble Bee, you really sure you want to do this?” I asked one more time, just to be completely certain they wanted this.

They stopped sucking on my neck and pulled back to look at me.

“Macy, will you just shut the fuck up? Or do I have to do it for you?”

I raised a brow at them, daring to open my mouth. They quickly pulled away, and I watched as they managed to skilfully remove their sports bra out form under their shirt. The crawled back over to me, and before I could get a word out they shoved it in my mouth. They smiled wildly.

“Better. You don’t normally talk this much.”

With a surprising amount of force they pushed me down onto the bed. Of course I wasn’t going to stop them. They crawled on top of me, sitting down on my waist. And made quick work of rooming my shirt. They placed open mouth kisses slowly down my chest, I mumbled something into the make shift gag, and they rolled their eyes, taking it out of my mouth.

“What was that?”

“Have you ever been with a girl before?”

“I’m sure I can figure it out.” They smiled smugly.

I didn’t even give them a chance to put the gag in themselves, grabbing it and shoving it back into my mouth. If this is how they wanted to play it, fine, let’s play. Maybe this would be a good way for them to release whatever stress they were under. Whatever made them run away from home. And I wanted nothing more than to provide that outlet for them. I helped her out by undoing my bra and letting it fall. I watched their eyes darken.

“I swear to Satan, Macy you were sculpted by Aphrodite herself.” They said lowly.

They seemed hesitant for a second, so I guided their hands to my breast. They slowly began to need at it, closing their eyes at the feeling. They looked blissful in this moment and it was turning me on. They leaned down and began attacking my other breast like they had my neck. Shamelessly leaving hickeys all over my body. Which I would wear proudly. They splayed their other hand over my stomach to stabilise themselves. I leaned my head back. Enjoying the feeling. It wasn’t often I was in this role, so I figured I’d enjoy it.

My hands slowly made my way to their shirt, asking them to take it off. Which I was happy to help them with. They didn’t have much there, but I never cared about any of that. Big breast, little breast, they were all the same to me. I reached up to touch them, but they smacked my hand away. Detaching their tongue from my nipple and looking down at me displeased.

“If they’re going to distract you I’ll put my shirt back on.” They warned.

God, why were they being so mean? I wasn’t the one that pissed them off, so why take it out on me? They pinched my nipple, rolling it between their thumb.

“You gonna get distracted Macy?”

I shook my head no.

“Good girl.”

God what where they doing to me right now? This had to be a dream. There was no way this was actually happening. The crawled off me and I let out a whine at the lack of content.

“Poor you, you still have your shoes on. Let me help you.”

They unzipped my boots, taking them off my feet while keeping eye contact. How were they so good at this. Nobody had ever made me squirm in anticipation before. They took their time, feeling up my legs and reaching for my zipper. It was odd how they still asked for permission, despite being so clearly dominate right now. But they paused, retracting their hand.

“Think you can help me out a little?” They asked seductively.

Fuck, I hadn’t shaved. But I honestly didn’t think that mattered at all right now. I doubt something like that would stop them from this little quest they were on. I quickly kicked of my pants, throwing them somewhere in my room. Leaving me in only my panties, and then just topless.

“Look at you, listening so intently. You really wanted this didn’t you fy nghariad”

I recognised that word, they used it often. Told me it meant “my love” a tears of endearment they had settled on for me. I nodded excitedly.

“Now if you’re good, we can remove that gag. Don’t you want your family to hear how good I’m making you feel? You gonna be good for me and let me please you Macy?”

The reached over to remove the object.

“Yes.” I said simply, honestly.

I couldn’t think to say much else right now honestly. I’m was completely in awe. She kissed me quick. Smiling into it. She softly ran her fingers along my bare legs, making me shiver as they were so much colder than my skin.

“Your hands are cold.” I muttered.

“I’m sorry darling, maybe you could help me warm them up.”

The sorry seemed sincere, but the rest do the sentence negated that with how suggestive it sounded. I leaned up on my elbows, grabbing their hand and slowly leading it to my mouth. I licked up their fingers before slowly popping two of them into my mouth. They never once dared to break eye contact. They ran their other hand up and down my body, pawing at my breast again. Trying to use the friction to heat them up.

I moaned around their fingers when they started playing with my nipple again.

“You like that?”

I moaned once more to tell them they were going in the right direction. But I honestly couldn’t take it anymore, I had waited so long for this. And they weren’t moving fast enough for me. But I didn’t want to discourage them. They’d never done this after all, but they were doing so well so far. I rubbed my thighs together, to try and ease the pressure building down there. Which didn’t go unnoticed by them.

“Somebodies impatient.”

I removed their fingers from my mouth with a loud pop.

“And somebodies being cruel. I like it” I said, pulling her in for a kiss.

They slid their hands down my thigh. Pushing them apart which I happily obliged. I’ve never been this wet before, but I didn’t have the mind to be embarrassed about it. Why should I? I had my hot partner trying their best to please me right now. There was nothing embarrassing about that. This is where they seemed to pause again, but this time not as part of the scene. I gently guided their hands to my core.

“Small circles like this.” I instructed.

They didn’t take offence to my helping, taking the suggestion with stride. Their hands were nibble and their fingers flexible. They played with my pussy like someone trying to beat the boss battle of a video game. At this rate I didn’t think I could hold back. I’d never come this quick before, but I couldn’t help it. They just felt so good.

“Yeah, just like that baby. You’re doing so good.” I praised.

Easily slipping back into my normal headspace. The praise seemed to spur them on with new vigour.

“Can I taste you?” They asked.

It sounded so sweet and innocent. The complete opposite of how their hands were using my body right now.

“Go ahead Bumble Bee, I’m all yours.”

They brought their hand up to their mouth, licking my slick off their fingers and whining slightly. I wanted to take them right then and there, but I remind patient. Reminding myself I was letting them take the lead for our first time. Sure it wasn’t the most romantic moment, but fuck that if it felt this good. They had licked their hand completely clean, and they seemed to want more.

Because before I could even Blinky, their head was between my legs. I couldn’t even look at them anymore, throwing my head back and giving into the feeling. The licked my slit hungrily. Devouring me as if they had done it a thousand times before. I couldn’t stop the moans i let out, and I didn’t want to. Fuck it if they heard. They weren’t the ones getting their world rocked right now.

“Oh fuck, Blinky.” I moaned.

They pulled back for a moment.

“Want me to keep going.”

“If you stop now, I swear I’m going to make it ten times worse for you.” I warned.

They didn’t need to be told twice, adjusting their position, and pulling me closer to the edge of the bed. I helped of course, my body weight being nearly twice theirs. I didn’t know how much time had passed, all I knew was that I was getting dangerously close. I tense my legs, desperately trying not to crush their head. But they didn’t seem perturbed in the slightest. Adding their fingers back in and flicking my clit in rhythm with their tongue.

“Shit Blinky I’m gonna-“

I didn’t get to finish my sentence before they experimentally skipped a finger in. I threw my head back, letting out a loud moan as my body shook. My orgasm crashing through me violently. They pulled their mouth back, but kept going with their fingers, slipping another one inside of me. They waited for me to stop shaking, before they wiped off my cum from their mouth with the back of my hand.

“You sound pretty like that.” They commented.

Looking down at me. I smiled lazily up at them.

“You’re surprisingly good.”

Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say at the moment. But I knew Blinky. They wouldn’t be upset by my words.

“Yeah? They asked, brushing a strand of their hair behind their ear.

I couldn’t take it anymore, caging them in on the bed, as I switched out positions.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamt of this.”

“I have some idea.” They smirked.

I rolled my eyes.

“Aren’t you sassy today? First you challenge Luda, then you threaten Hoyt. We’re you serious about that by the way?” I asked.

“Dead.” They said, staring right into my eyes to prove their point. “People like him disgust me.”

I never knew there was this dark side to them, perhaps they hid it because they were scared. And maybe the should be, this was dangerous. I didn’t think it possible to be more attracted to them. But the thought of them hurting Hoyt for me, had me wanting to cum all over again.

“Sorry if that’s intense.”

“Oh you’re going to be sorry for something else in minute. That was very rude of you to slap my hands away earlier.” I teased.

They frowned, and I thought for a second maybe I took it to far.

“I’ve never had anyone touch me before.” They admitted.

I was surprised. They seemed to at least have some experience.

“I’m really good at giving though.”

“I’ll say, you know, I’ve never cum that fast before.” I smiled.

“Never?”

“Not even close.”

They seemed to get lost in thought for a second. And I wished I could pick their brain. Of course I was still worried about them. But hormones were running high right now and my brain was foggy.

“I could make you feel good, I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

“You don’t have to-“

“Blinky, relationships are give and take.” I started.

“I was going to say you don’t have to be gentle. I can take it.”

Those were bold words. But for now, I would keep that promise I made. I didn’t want to ruin them. But it seemed unfair that I had to bare their mark, and they wouldn’t have mine. I wanted everyone to know they were mine. I lifted their chin with my finger.

“Remember when you told me to shut up earlier?” They nodded. “Let me do this for you. You get uncomfortable for even a second, you tell me to stop ok?”

“Ok”

It was the same ok they always gave when they fully understood something. I pulled them into a kiss, still trying to go fairly slow with things. But the fuzziness in my head was trying to get me to skip straight to the main course. But I couldn’t do that. Your first time could hurt if you weren’t careful. Most people learned that the hard way, and got turned off from the idea of sex all together.

As I kissed down their neck, they giggled slightly. A far cry from their earlier behaviour. But perhaps they had gotten it all out of their system. Taking out their anger on me, so sweetly.

“That tickles.” They laughed.

“Yeah?” I said, smiling into their neck.

It was cute how easily they became submissive. Even their little show of dominance earlier had been more akin to a sub trying to please their partner. I rubbed my nose into the spot where the skin met their collar bones, licking down on them after and watching them shiver at my touch. Even if we stopped right now, this was more than enough. They looked so cute right now, trying to squirm away from my touch.

They never mentioned it directly, but I was smart enough to pick up on things. I could tell they had sensory issues at least, and were a little awkward with communication. So I wasn’t going to take the chance and let their body language decide my actions. Verbal confirmation was better. Plus, if they could talk, I could check in to make sure they were really ok.

“You want me to keep going?”

They nodded.

“Use your words Bumble Bee.”

“Yes please.”

I had to fight back a smile at how cute they were right now. Oh Lord, I felt almost dizzy from it. I gently cupped my hand around their left breast, engulfing the whole thing with my hand. They blushed slightly. I slowly began needing them.

“Does that feel good darling?”

“So good” they stuttered out. “Dont stop.”

I could feel their heart hammering in their chest, at just a light touch. While they had quite a similar effect on me, it wasn’t nearly this bad. I didn’t know the situation, but that didn’t matter. How could you dare to touch this beautiful creature without caring for their pleasure. It was obscene and I was disgusted.

I moved my knee between their leg. A natural habit I guess. They let out a soft hiss, and I paused.

“No no, keep going. I’m good. I’m really good Macy.”

This time I didn’t bite back my smirk. I decided to try something. Switching out positions suddenly. They let out a quick yelp, but but down on their tongue.

“Sorry.” I chuckled, “forgot my strength.”

They couldn’t even respond. Just looking up at me in adoration. I moved them so they were facing me, straddling my thigh again. They looked confused. I knew they would need sleep tonight, and the easier way to ensure that was to get them tired out. Make them work for it. Sure, maybe my sadistic tendencies were skewing my decision a little. But it was so delicious to watch them squirm.

“I want you to grind down on my thigh.” I instructed.

When they still looked a little confused, I helped them out, placing my hands on their hips and helping them move them a little. They hit down further on their lip, throwing their head back a little.

“That feel good bunny?”

Another nod.

“Words.” I reminded.

“It feels so good Macy.”

They way they said my name made my heart jump a little. Their noises were small, but they were positively adorable.

“Then use my thigh pretty girl. I’m all yours.” I encouraged.

I kept my hands on their back, keeping them from falling off of me. But I couldn’t pay much attention to anything else with their perfect titties in my face. I couldn’t take it anymore and I hungrily sucked at their nipple. They continued grinding down on my thigh, mewling the whole time. I swore to god is someone dared open that door right now, there would be blood and lots of it. Nobody was allowed to see them like this, nobody but me. No matter how much I wanted Hoyt to eat his words from earlier.

“That’s it’s gorgeous, just like that. Let me make you feel so good.” I said, before moving onto their other breast.

I was carful with my word choice, gaging their body language to make sure I wasn’t saying the wrong thing. I knew they weren’t entirely comfortable with their body. But it seemed if I switched evenly between neutral and feminine terms they were just fine with it.

“Who’s making you feel this good.” I asked.

“You are.” They answered breathlessly.

“That’s right, and is anyone else allowed to touch you?”

“N-no.” They stuttered out.

Their breath was getting quicker and I could tell they were getting close. I wanted to see how soaked they could get those leggings they were wearing. I would get them some of my clothes after. Of course they would be huge on them, but I didn’t care. The sight of Blinky in my clothes was a sight I would never want to forget. That, and the look on her face right now. I could feel the tension slowly easing from their body.

“Macy, I can’t, it’s too much.” They said.

They scrunched their face up like they did when they were getting overstimulated. I felt bad, even if it was overshadowed by my other emotions right now. But I knew they had it in them, and she would feel so good after.

“Come on Bumble Bee, you’re so close. Just a little bit longer.” I urgedZ

“O-ok” they stuttered out.

Tiny tears escaped from their eyes, and I felt bad cause it was only making me hornier. I switched my attention, gently licking the tears from their face. I leaned in whispering in their ear.

“It’s ok, you can let go.” I said.

They squeezed their eyes shut as their body shook. I could feel a wet spot on my thigh and I gave them a satisfied smirk. Kissing all around their face as they came down from their high.

I breathed in and out slowly, trying to encourage them to copy me. They tiredly leaned into my chest, holding me close. I rubbed my hand up and down their back.

“You did so good for me Blinky. I’m so proud of you.” I praised.

Every word was the truth, and I made sure they knew that. They were fairly quiet, but I had expected this. They always got quiet when they were overstimulated, I didn’t think this would be much different. Though I wish I could have heard them scream. We sat for maybe ten minutes as I let them calm down. Just holding them tight, so they knew I wasn’t going anywhere. They slowly moved their head to look up at me.

“That’s it, there’s those pretty eyes.” I smiled.

“How are you so perfect?” They asked.

“I could as the same of you. You did so well for me Bunny.”

They gentle rubbed their eyes, pushing the rest of the tears out. I kissed the tip of their nose softly.

“I made a mess.” The said softly.

It was so innocent, so cute.

“That’s ok Blinky. I’ll get you cleaned up.”

They tightened there grip on me, as I tried to get up.

“I’m not going anywhere ok, just grabbing some stuff to get you feeling better.”

“Ok” they said softly.

I gently wrapped my blanket around their shoulders.

“Sixty seconds.” I said.

They began counting slowly, hugging the blanket tightly. I quickly rushed to the bathroom, Hoyt passed me sending me a nasty glare in the hallway. I just stick my tongue out at him. I quickly grabbed a washcloth, some lotion and my tooth brush. I got back to the room by the time they were on 55.

“See, told you I’d be right back.”

They smiled sweetly up at me.

“Let’s get you out of these pants yeah?”

The nodded, letting me peel them off their body. I slowly removed their panties as well, carful not to touch much down there, as it would still be sensitive. I looked up at them.

“I’m just gonna clean you up a little than give you a massage, does that sound nice” they nodded.

Going completely non-verbal now. But I could accept that. They knew I wouldn’t hurt them. I couldn’t never even think of it. I gently wiped the wet cloth on their thigh, cleaning up the rest of their mess from earlier. I stood up, instructing them to lay down on the bed. I sucked in a breath as they rolled over. I had never seen their bare ass before, and god was it perfect. I sat on the bed beside them, as they watched me carefully. I put some lotion on their back and gently began rubbing it. They closed their eyes, enjoying the feeling.

I had to turn off the horny part of my brain right now, as much as I wanted to go again, they would need rest. I could sort myself out later if I really needed to, after they were asleep. I didn’t say a word, letting them enjoy the quiet. When I was done, I handed them a sweater and some shorts from my closet. The smallest pair I had. I knew none of my undergirded would fit them, but I could sort that out tomorrow. I didn’t know how long they were staying for cause we never discussed it. As they got comfy, I lifted their chin so their eyes met mine again. Just checking in on them one more time.

“You ok?”

I wasn’t expecting the next words that came out of their mouth.

“My mother is going to die soon.” They said. It was so quiet I barely heard them.

“I’m- I’m sorry.” I said.

Why would they tell me what was bothering them now of all times? But Blinky just kinda said whatever came to their mind, it was how they functioned.

“It’s ok.” They said.

I had thrown on some sweat pants and a sports bra before I had left the room. And right now it didn’t seem important to get proper pyjamas on. I crawled into bed next to them, pulling them into me as they cuddled into my chest. I had left the tooth brush and a glass of water on the nightstand. We could take care of that later.

“What you did for me today, thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything sweetheart, I was just being a good girlfriend.”

They shook their head.

“No Macy, it was more than that. You made me feel safe. This didn’t feel gross like all the other times.” They said.

I frowned. What the hell did they mean all the other times? Gross? Who had hurt them that much? I wanted to rip the head off of this person.

“I never want you to feel gross.” I said softly. “I’m glad you could trust me to do that for you.”

They cuddled closer to my chest, and I held them tightly, draping the blanket over us. I didn’t really need it, I produced plenty of body heat oh my own. I tried to think of something to distract them. I should have anticipated they wouldn’t have entirely felt better after our little play session. But I didn’t want their first proper experience to be clouded by this feeling. Sadness, anger, I couldn’t quite tell. It mostly all looked the same on Blinky. Joy was the only emotion they excelled at flawlessly. You could always tell when they were happy, but everything else was a guessing game.

“Why don’t we get those pretty teeth of yours brushed?”

I saw them push their tongue through the gap where one tooth was missing. I meant to ask them about that, and maybe right now wasn’t the right time. But it just slipped out.

“By the way, what ever happened to that one tooth?” I asked, as I grabbed the tooth brush that already had a bead of tooth paste on it. I would just brush mine in the morning. I didn’t mind.

Blinky laughed slightly, their mood slowly shifting.

“I got punched by a racist.” They laughed even more.

“Blinky that’s not even remotely funny.” I said.

But their smile was contagious.

“At least tell me you punched him back, little miss I’ll cut off your dick if you call my girlfriend a slur again”

They paused, looking up at me.

“Yikes, did I really say that? I’ll have to put more money in the jar when I get home.”

“You have a sweat jar?” I laughed.

“I don’t like using mean words very often.”

“Maybe you can give yourself a pass this time Blink, it’s impossible to not call Hoyt a dick.” I laughed.

But my laughter quickly died down.

“I am sorry about your mom though.”

“Don’t worry about it, she’s going where she belongs.”

Their voice was harsh and cold when they said that. I’ve seen that look before, on Tommy before he killed a particularly nasty victim. Preservation mixed with disgust. I didn’t want to push and ask more, but I could already tell I would’ve hated their mother if I got a chance to meet her, maybe it was for the best she was dying. But if my hunch was right, Blinky and I would have to have a very serious conversion soon. Maybe they weren’t so innocent after all. Not that that mattered to me.

They’d be eating breakfast with my family in the morning. And that deserved a fair warning on my part. I watched as they brushed their teeth. Spitting the water back into the empty cup. I would take care of that in the morning. I leaned down, giving them a quick kiss on the lips as the cuddled back into me.

“Try to get some sleep Blink, I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you. And in the morning, you’ll get to meet Tommy for breakfast.” I smiled.

They let out a little yawn.

“I get to meet Tommy?”

“Mhhmm” I smiled down at them as their eyes closed.

They fell asleep with a content smile on their face. I wasn’t looking forward to our little chat before breakfast. But that was tomorrows problem. I turned off my lamp, and rolled over, pulling them impossible closer to me. Using them like a little teddy bear as I fell asleep.

An: I’m oddly proud of Blinky for taking charge on this one. Victims of assault often have a hard time in the bedroom, but they really love Macy and trust her.

[lucyintheskywithxanax]

Different Kinds of Falls

Request : autumn themed + underwear store with Wilhemina

A/N: @blacksmokieee25 since you’re probably not going to bed until the sun rises, I’m posting this now. Happy birthday lovely ^^ I tried lacing together your two requests and came up with this weird, vignette fic that I hope you’ll like. I hope your 23rd year will bring you love and happiness. I’m very glad I know you xx

Warnings: a tiny little bit of smut and a lot of bad English

Word count:  ≃ 4 600

She was like a princess in a fairytale, trapped in a tower and waiting for someone to save her from isolation. Except no one had come. She would have to do the saving herself.

But she was too tired, she protested. She couldn’t do the saving. She said, Because to save someone, you have to think they are worthy, you have to love them at least a little. And the dragon keeping me prisoner – that dragon is me. I cannot save myself for I do not think I’m worthy.

All this of course she didn’t say. You thought it yourself, as you lay in bed watching her, the sheet pulled up high so she could hide herself – she wouldn’t say she’s hiding, she would say she’s cold. You had been reading The Island of Doctor Moreau next to her, a little appalled, a little sleepy, until you had come upon one sentence and stopped. Now you stood watching her as the sentence played in your head like a record spinning again and again.

The Thing that bled and ran screaming and sobbing – that is dead, too.

Wilhemina felt your gaze on her and glanced at you, looking as if she couldn’t quite believe she had allowed you to lie half naked in her bed like that. She looked a little fierce, you thought, a little too mean for a lover. She looked like she didn’t quite know how to let herself be loved.

You gave her a smile and ran one finger down her cheek, along her jaw to her chin, down her neck. Wilhemina’s brow furrowed, shoulders tensing as your finger reached the collar of her nightdress.

Will you let me see you naked? you wanted to ask, just a whisper so as not to scare her.

Of course you didn’t.

You wouldn’t make a good hero, you thought. You would make a terrible knight. The one who always runs away first, who says bad jokes to make up for her cowardice and her overwhelming fear of love.

You would take one look at the dragon and leave the princess in her tower.

The Thing that bled and ran screaming and sobbing – that is thriving, too.

But consider, you thought, as Wilhemina, still frowning, leaned in to plant a kiss on your lips: what if you saw the princess before you saw the dragon. What if the princess saw you. Doesn’t love make the lovers brave?

Wilhemina’s kisses were often clumsy. They were always terrified, that this kiss would be the last, that after it would only come the bite of her own teeth and the burn of her tears. Her fingers slid behind your neck and clutched your hair. She pressed herself against you.

As you guided her head to your neck and closed your eyes, you slipped your hand under her nightdress to feel the skin of her shoulder. Brave? Or stupid? Wilhemina’s breath hitched.

She pressed herself deeper into you.

The Thing that bled and ran screaming and sobbing – that is dying, too.

**

“It’s alright,” you tried, both hands held up, wide eyes quickly shifting from Wilhemina’s face to the fragments of glass on the floor and her bare feet. “Be careful, I can take care of it.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” she snapped. Her hand was pressed against her chest, fingers clutching the towel wrapped around her body as if it were the last remaining piece of her broken armor.

You winced.

“It’s alright,” you tried again. “I –”

“Get out!”  

You met her eyes again, wide with fear and fury because you had walked into the bedroom as she was getting dressed, and you had almost seen her, and in her hurry to hide from you she had knocked over the vase with the flowers that she had bought for you three days ago.

“Mina – ”

“Y/N if you do not get out of my sight in the next two seconds I will hurt you.” Voice breaking, hands shaking.

Still you hesitated.

Wilhemina grabbed a pillow – the beside lamp was nearer – and threw it at you.

“GET OUT!”

She never screamed. It was that scream that made you obey.

You stood behind the closed door and listened as she cried.

**

She didn’t believe that you could love her. And yet she felt it, in the way you kissed her, and she saw it shining in your eyes, and in your smile, and she heard it in your voice too. So she tried to find an explanation. You were lonely, in need of company, and a good actress. You were smitten and infatuation blinded you but it wouldn’t last. You were an angel. You had taken pity on her.

She couldn’t find a reason. Some nights it made her so angry she felt like smashing all your things or – even better – destroying herself. She wanted to hurt you and to pull the truth out of your throat so she would understand why and how you were smiling at her like that.

She didn’t believe that you would stay and she didn’t understand why you were here in the first place, but she found that she rather liked your presence. Loved. So she fought against her impulse to be mean and agreed to sometimes share a few things with you; things that lived at the surface, not the big, the dark, the important things that lived deep within her – there was no point sharing those. She hid those and she hid her shame so maybe you would stay a little longer than you had planned.  

It was selfish, she knew it. But she was way past selfishness.

**

You met her on a Saturday afternoon. It was the fall and outside the leaves were falling.

You were scrolling on your phone as you sat, bored, on a chair by the fitting rooms, waiting for your roommate who was trying on the new sexy underwear she’d need in case she successfully seduced the boy who had just moved in next door.

You were distracted by an unfamiliar sound, and looked up just as a woman walked in, supporting herself on a cane and looking as if she owned the whole world. It seemed to you even her nostrils flared a little, in outrage that some servant hadn’t sprayed myrrh or sandal wood in the air to celebrate her arrival.

You eyed her as she passed you, and quickly lowered your gaze as hers met yours. Her eyes were dark. Cold. Glazed.

This woman is scared, you thought, without knowing where the thought came from. She’s terrified.

Just as you were glancing up at her again, your roommate burst out from her fitting room with her arms thrown up in triumph and crashed right into the woman.

The shock sent her stumbling backwards, until her legs bumped into your knees and she fell onto your lap.

Instinctively your hands fell on either side of her waist to steady her, and you felt her flinch and tense up.

“Don’t touch me,” she snapped.

And already she was pushing herself up onto her feet, and you sat as if petrified on your chair, your cheeks flushed, your hands still held up, the reminder of how she had felt burning low right under your skin.

Your roommate immediately walked up to the woman with an apologetic expression on her face and one hand raised as if to touch her shoulder, but she was stopped by the loud, threatening noise of her cane hitting the ground.

The sudden noise broke the trance you had fallen into. You jumped, remembered where you were, became aware that your roommate was wearing a low-cut black lace nightdress that barely hid her body. And the woman was staring at her with anger burning like a low fire in her eyes, but the rest of her face was completely blank, unreadable, terrible.

Your roommate cleared her throat, and decided her safest option was to ignore her. She turned to you, opened her arms and asked in a voice which, to her credit, barely shook at all: “How do I look?”

“Horrendous,” the woman said, her voice quiet and low but laced with contempt and mockery.

What happened next you saw as a movie on a big screen. It felt unreal, somehow, but most of all it felt scripted; part of you already knew exactly what your role would be. It didn’t ask for your approval. It just happened.

Your roommate turned back towards the woman, fists clenching and eyes shining. “Excuse me?” she said, not quiet as the woman had, but loud, and angry.

The woman smirked. “I said,” she answered, still as slowly, “you look horrendous.”

“Then why don’t you try it on and we’ll see if you look any better!” your roommate nearly screamed.

Your gaze was riveted on the woman’s face, and you saw something uneasy flicker in her eyes.

Your roommate saw it, too. Her confidence flared up.

“Come on,” she laughed, taking one step forward. “Go get one your size and put it on I dare you.”

At that exact moment a vendor walked in, alerted by the noise, to peer curiously at the scene. The woman quickly scanned his face, assessing danger.

“Do you ladies need anything?” the vendor asked.

“Yes,” your roommate roared, “another nightdress and then stay with us, you can be our judge, you can decide if she looks any better than me wearing it.”

“I think you look very good,” the vendor said to your roommate politely.

“Ah!” your roommate exulted, turning to the woman again, her eyes burning their way down to rest on her cane, and then up again to sneer, her face shining with the certainty of her triumph.  

That was when, as was scripted, you stood up. You didn’t become aware of your action until your roommate glanced curiously at you. And then you heard yourself speak, something about decency, about kindness, about you leaving if your roommate was going to be such an ass.

You didn’t know what you were saying. Your roommate’s expressions were your only guide. You saw surprise, and then anger. Her eyes narrowed a little. They told you it would take time for her to forgive such a betrayal.

Later, you would say that surely it had been fate pulling the strings. But back then, all that you knew was your body’s vibrating, burning, coming to life with the reminder of how the woman had felt.

**

“I didn’t need your help,” Wilhemina – Ms Venable? Wilhemina – snapped a few minutes later, as you walked out of the store together. The air was cold and already smelt of winter.

“Would you like to get a drink?” you heard yourself say.

She let out an incredulous laugh. “Certainly not.” Another laugh, eyes falling on your face, briefly, as if to make sure you were real.

“Does that mean I’ll never see you again?” was what you said next, and you would have blushed at the plea in your voice if you hadn’t been so intent on making her stay.

“We’ve barely talked,” Wilhemina said, face hardening, “why are you so interested in me?”

She was suspicious, wary, ready to jump at your throat. You didn’t know how to explain what was happening to you – the vibrating, the coming to life – without sounding like a complete fool.

“Let me walk you to your car,” you offered.  

Wilhemina hesitated. Nodded.

When you reached her car, she stood with her back to the door and you laughed nervously and started rambling about the weather because you didn’t want to see her go just yet. You said how autumn was your favorite season because of all the colors and of all the smells. You said you wanted a life full of falls. You said, Falls as in the season, but also as in falling in love. Here you averted your eyes and felt yourself blush.

It wasn’t you talking. It couldn’t be. It was too bold.

You looked up again and said, Why don’t we go on a walk? and don’t stop, until we’ve found a leaf the exact same color as your hair.

At this very moment the breeze blew into Wilhemina’s eyes a strand of hair that had escaped her impeccable ponytail, and she raised her hand to brush it away, fingers gracefully grazing her skin with just a touch of annoyance, and you thought  - Dear Lord, you thought, as one thinks who has just fallen in love.

But you didn’t believe in love at first sight, you reminded yourself. What was it, then? You had seen the dragon and you had seen the princess and they were the same.

But you were no hero. Curiosity? Or your soul whispering to her soul?

But wasn’t that love?

You took a peek. There was inside you the irresistible desire to know everything about her.

You insisted you gave her your number and she accepted it “to get rid of you.”

On the third day after that, she called you.

**

The full moon had risen a few minutes ago and the night shadows had retreated into the corners, where they lurked. You shifted closer to Wilhemina and nuzzled her neck with your nose.

“I’m sorry about the vase,” she whispered. You hummed. Her hand fell on your head. I’m sorry I snapped at you.

You pulled away to meet her eyes, and traced her brow with your thumb. The moonlight painted her in black and silver.

You trailed your finger over her shoulder and stopped at the collar of her nightdress.

“Will you let me see you?” you asked.

You were not sure you were brave enough to watch. But you asked anyway.

Her eyes met yours again. “Don’t forget the story of Lot’s wife,” she answered. “Orpheus and Eurydice. Medusa.”

You planted a kiss on her cheek.

“What these stories teach me is that everyone looks.”

“And they all die.”

“No. They all turn into something else.”

“Eurydice dies,” Wilhemina insisted.

“Are you afraid I’ll die if I see you?”

She shook her head. She let go of you. “It’s not the one who sees that dies. It’s the one who is seen.”

“Are you afraid I’ll hurt you?”

You propped yourself up on one elbow to watch her as she got up and crossed the room to the window. She closed it against the cold.

“Are you afraid I’ll leave you?” you insisted.

“I like you blind,” she said.

“But I’d love to see you.”

She turned, gave you a smile that shone a little defiantly. “When Oedipus finally saw, he stabbed himself in the eyes.”

You fell back on the bed with a groan. “Enough with mythology. We aren’t gods. We aren’t heroes.” You opened your arms to hold her close as she slowly made her way back to bed.

**

“Do we even know what we’re looking for?” you asked, bending to avoid a branch full of golden and red leaves.

“I do,” Wilhemina answered. “I spent yesterday evening reading about mushrooms.”

You grinned at her.

“One of us had to make sure we won’t die intoxicated,” she said, a little coldly.

“That’s very noble of you,” you teased.

This was about a month after you two had first met. You now spent most of your spare time together. Wilhemina had even stopped doing extra hours at work to spend them with you instead. Your roommate barely saw you anymore. She had complained about your absence and asked whether she should look for someone else.

You had always craved a strong connection with someone, and it seemed you had finally found it. You didn’t need words to communicate with Wilhemina, as if your soul and her soul were made of the same stuff. You could point at a star in the night sky and knew she felt the same about it. Knew you were understood.  

You wanted to spend every second of every day with her.

Two nights ago, you had kissed her. You hadn’t expected it of yourself. It was too brave, too bold. That’s how you knew that you loved her.

She had frozen with her hand on your thigh, eyes wide open, breath caught in her throat, until suddenly something had changed and she had turned ravenous. She had kissed you back as if you were the ghost of a long-lost lover she was about to lose again, and the desperation she had poured into your mouth had made you fear that this was too much for one person to bear; too much need, too much anger, too much love required to fill the gaping, sucking black hole inside her. You had broken the kiss, panting, and almost run away. But the way she had held on to your wrist, the way she had looked at you, the feel of her on your lips – you had stayed.

None of you had mentioned the kiss since then. She seemed to be waiting for you to make the next move, and you weren’t sure you wanted to. Weren’t sure you were brave enough.

“Look here,” Wilhemina said, pointing at a small cluster of brown mushrooms half hidden under dead leaves.

You crouched down to examine them. “Yes,” you smiled, “these look like penny buns.”

You picked one for Wilhemina to look at.

“Butter, garlic and parsley,” you grinned, watching her as she inspected the mushroom, held delicately between two fingers. “One or two potatoes.”

Wilhemina hummed and cautiously put the mushroom in the basket she was holding.

You took the basket from her so you could hold her hand as you walked slowly down the path. Wilhemina glanced sideways at you, as if to make sure ill intent wasn’t shining in your eyes, before she pushed her palm against yours and laced her fingers with yours.

After a few minutes you stopped looking for mushrooms and gazed up at the beautiful leaves instead. The air was cold and crisp, and smelt of damp earth and decaying leaves. Every so often the sound of something falling – a dead branch, an acorn – reached your ears.

Wilhemina’s heart was drumming against your palm. Was it your touch, you wondered, that made it beat so fast?

She wasn’t looking at the ground either. She kept glancing at you. You knew this, because you kept glancing at her, too, and more than once you found her gaze already on your face. The first time your eyes met, you both blushed, and if Wilhemina quickly looked away, you found it impossible not to gaze at the dusting of pink on her cheeks.

“Look,” you breathed.

On your left between two oak trees was a small, round, dark pond. Its surface was half covered with leaves and you wouldn’t have noticed it at all if the wind hadn’t blown the branches above and sunlight hadn’t caught it. Wilhemina and you paused at the edge of it, hand in hand, to look at your reflections in the dark water.

“It looks like a fairy pond,” you whispered.

Wilhemina hummed her assent. You stroked your thumb over hers as you stared at her reflection, fully clothed, tall but with the edges trembling.  

“If we stay here long enough maybe we’ll see a doe.”

“You’d never have the patience,” Wilhemina teased.

“Well,” you cleared your throat, “I would if we had something to do to keep each other busy.”

Something, very close, fell from a tree.

It felt like dissolving into the golden light – like becoming part of something beautiful – when Wilhemina gently pressed her lips to yours. The basket stood between you two, so she hastily set it down on the ground before she captured your lips again, shyly, so very delicately it made you tremble. As if you were something precious. Something to be treasured.

It was this gentleness that made you kiss her back.

When you broke the kiss, Wilhemina squinted in the sunlight that fell through the branches and directly into her eyes. Dear you, she looked so scared. You wanted to push her, to make her fall so she would know you would always catch her. You wanted her to do the same to you.

You started walking again. You were both so focused on the other that you forgot the basket. You remembered it five minutes later. You found it funny; Wilhemina’s jaw tightened with anger. It had never happened to her before, she assured you. She didn’t forget things. The implication made her shiver.  

You walked back to the pond and found the basket on the moss where you had left it.

**

From where you were lying between her legs, you slipped your hand under her shirt to feel the warm softness of her tummy.

“Don’t you sometimes wish you didn’t have a body?” she asked.

You glanced up at her sleepily. She was reading your book, the one you had finished just a few days ago – you wondered if it was the same sentence that had caused her to stop.

You dropped a kiss on her hip. “I rather like having a body,” you answered. “And I love that you have one yourself. How would I kiss you otherwise?”

“Without a body, you wouldn’t need or want to kiss me.”

You considered, hand absentmindedly stroking her tummy.

“I don’t know,” Wilhemina went on. She was thumbing the book nervously, her eyes a little glazed. “It seems to me the body only brings its owner pain.”

“But I love your body,” you retorted.

“I am sick of it,” she said. “I am sick of the competition that comes with it. The pain, the probing, the examination.”

You watched her in silence. How could you tell her that some days when you woke up before dawn you would spend long minutes delighting in the sight of her body? And that you would press your lips on her skin to kiss, not who she was, but the body that you loved.

You took the book from her (you were starting to think that giving it to her in the first place hadn’t been the brightest of ideas. She had never told you the kind of surgeries she had undergone, the kind of names she had been called. You didn’t like the look on her face now) and put your arms around her waist. You pressed your cheek against her thigh and closed your eyes.

“I don’t like my body (she knew this already. You’d told her before). I think it’s too flat. And yet you find it beautiful. Maybe that’s mankind’s curse. Maybe that’s beauty’s curse. The beautiful doesn’t know it’s beautiful until someone comes along and tells it so.”

She started running her fingers through your hair, and you opened your eyes to find her gazing at you with a fond and thoughtful smile. She checked herself when your eyes met. Her face hardened a little.

“No need,” you smiled.

And then you were crawling up the bed, planting kisses on the strip of skin between her panties and her shirt, and then up her cleavage, smiling when she pushed her head back to give you better access to her neck. You twisted a strand of her hair around your finger – hair let down, only for you – and slid your other hand down to cup her center, determined to take her mind off the horrors she had read, or been reminded of.

You had made love before, but never entirely exposed, never entirely seen. Part of you loved it. Another part of you hated that you loved it. That part wanted you to stop being cowardly and to take the jump. To fall. Tear off the sheet, tear down the tower’s walls.

What terrified you the most was, there would be no going back, the day she would show you her back.

Your fingers started massaging her clit over her panties.

“How would you be able to feel me if you didn’t have a body?” you breathed, lips planting open-mouthed kisses up her neck.  

Wilhemina’s only answer was a small, breathy whimper. She lifted her hips to push against your hand.  

**

You followed the sound of her voice to her bedroom. She sounded afraid. You hurried.

“Y/N?”

“I’m right here,” you called, as your hand closed around the door handle. “Is today the day I’m going to,learn you’re terribly scared of spiders?” you joked, to try and curb the worry in you.

You pushed the door open, walked in and stopped as if suddenly turned into stone.

Wilhemina was standing with her back to you, facing the mirror on the wall. She was wearing the low-cut nightdress your roommate had dared her to try on all those months ago at the store. She was trembling.

You held her gaze in the mirror, unable to breathe, heart speeding up until all you could hear was its mad, terrified, elated gallop.

For a moment you stood completely still, not daring to look at her back, until the fear in Wilhemina’s eyes threatened to spill over, and you took a step forward.

Gently you gathered her hair in one hand and pushed it over her shoulder. Wilhemina’s gaze in the mirror glazed over, looked through you and at a place where she was safe and numb.

You took a deep breath. You watched.

A shiver ran through you as your gaze followed the diverted course of her spine, skin pulled taut over the bones. For a moment you watched with the awe-stricken eyes of one who is shown a terrible thing, terrible yet fascinating, for the watcher is safe from it. Then you swallowed, and forced your attention back on the importance of the moment.

You were still not breathing as you trailed your fingertips down her back to the black lace hugging her waist, and then back up again, lingering this time, stroking every scar.

Wilhemina’s breath hitched when you pressed your lips on her spine. Grazing her skin, planting a kiss. You rested your chin on her shoulder and waited for her to come back to you, pressing your front against her back to show her you were not disgusted, not disappointed, not running away.  

When her gaze turned clear enough for her to see you again, you offered her a tender smile, and stroked up and down her arms.

Wilhemina drew in air through her teeth. “This kind of nightdress wasn’t made for people like me,” she breathed out.

“Nonsense,” you cut her off. “You look beautiful.”

And dear you, she did, with her eyes barely guarded now and the lace barely hiding the swell of her breasts, nipples peaking under the delicate fabric. Your arms wrapped around her waist to pull her closer against you.

“Thank you,” you breathed into her hair.

She nodded, but didn’t speak. She was still trembling against you.

“How are you feeling?”

She let out a self-deprecatory laugh. “Like I don’t want to be here.” She took hold of one of your hands. Her eyes glossed over.

“Does it terrify you,” you breathed, trailing your lips down her neck, “to know that I have seen you and found you beautiful?” A pause. Your heart was beating too fast. “That I have seen you and decided to stay?”

In the silence that followed you heard your words echo all around you. You had expected each one of them to sow a grain of fear inside you. That wasn’t what happened. Instead each one of them pulled up a fear sprout that had already been sown inside you.

Wilhemina’s eyes met yours in the mirror to share her surprise. For she was – okay? There had been no harsh landing? She let her body relax and she realized that, even though her mind was still very anxiously expecting danger, she wasn’t hurting. She was okay.

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[buckyownsmylife]

Make it back to me - Andy Barber smut

The one where Andy fulfills his promise and gives you a future together.

Warnings: smut, daddy kink, insecure!Andy for a minute there, divorce, talks of infidelity because reader was the other woman, breeding kink

A/N: this is technically a follow-up to this drabble I wrote during kinktober!

Andy’s P.O.V.

My heart was pounding against my chest even before her beautiful face appeared from the office’s door. It was clear that she was confused, but I was too excited about it to even be able to verbalize what had happened and what we were about to do. So the plan was to just show her.

“You know, I usually like surprises, but this one is freaking me out,” she commented, and I laughed, throwing a glance at the rearview mirror before taking us out of the firm’s parking lot. I rubbed my thumbs on her knees, squeezing it in a hopefully reassuring gesture while I hummed a random song that had been stuck in my head since earlier.

I still couldn’t believe it. 

I thought that maybe she would have connected the dots when I parked in an apartment complex’s garage, but by the inquisitive look she threw me, it was clear that wasn’t the case at all. So I laughed when I held her hand, kissing the back of it before pulling her along with me, up the stairs to the front hall.

“Andy, are you crazy? We can’t be holding hands in public like this. What if someone from the firm lives here and sees us together?” She whisper-shouted, and an euphoric feeling took over my chest at the realization of just how incredible my life was.

“Someone from the firm does live here,” I conceded, hugging her from behind and leaning down to fit my chin on her shoulder. “Me.” Saying it out loud only made it feel even more real, especially since she whipped her head to try to get a look at me, in an effort to understand just what I meant.

“What?” I only laughed, reaching out for her hand again and giving it a squeeze when the elevator doors opened, immediately stepping out to look for the door I held the key to. “Andy, what do you mean?”

I only smiled, patiently opening the door before letting her walk in and following behind. “Sweetheart… Meet my new apartment.” Once more, her head whipped around to stare at me, interrupting her visual exploration of the new environment.

“Andy…”

“I’m divorced,” I interrupted, effectively shutting her up. “It was finalized this morning. I talked to Laurel the day after that party. The day you got your promotion. I didn’t tell you before because I wanted it to be a sure thing,” I immediately explained when I saw her open her mouth to interject, but then she closed it, nodding as she accepted my justification.

“So while I waited for it to be processed, I bought this place. Do you like it? I was hoping you’d move in with me, I can’t wait to christen every room of this apartment.” Once again, she seemed surprised by my words, stopping her evaluation of the living room to stare at me with eyes twice their usual size.

“But you just… Andy, you just got divorced. Quite literally. You can’t tell me you want to immediately jump into the routine of a relationship again.” Frowning, I stepped forward, in her direction, arms reaching out to hold her hips so I could keep her in place while I tried to understand her emotions. 

“You don’t want to be in a relationship with me?” My heart ached at the prospect, but she only huffed, rolling her eyes at me. Immediately, I felt somewhat comforted, although still confused about what was going on through her head.

“Of course I want to be in a relationship with you, you dummy. I just… I fear you’re jumpin too soon into this, and that you’ll grow to resent me. I don’t want to lose you.” Hearing her voice my own fears only made the need to have her closer rise within me, so before I could even realize what I was doing, I had her face cradled between my hands and our lips were connected again, as they always should be.

“And I don’t want to lose you,” I decided to voice it, so she could understand exactly where all of this was coming from, how it wasn’t simply a spur-of-the-moment gesture, any of it. “So what do you think I should do? Keep our relationship without strings, fearing that any moment now someone else will come and sweep you off of your feet? I don’t want to fuck anyone else, sweetheart. And I’ve been dreaming about living all of this domestic shit with you for a while, now. My marriage with Laurel didn’t end because I suddenly despised my ring, it ended because I didn’t love her anymore. But I love you. And I want this with you. Only you.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Now, what else could I possibly say? This was everything I had dreamed about, everything I’d been wishing for since day one, since my eyes connected with Andy’s and we shook hands in the office. And here he was, offering me a future together on a silver platter and I couldn’t find it in myself to fight against it anymore, even if the rational part of me thought this was a mistake. 

Or maybe it was only my anxiety speaking, trying to get me to chicken out, to run away, convince me that this isn’t real and I’m not worthy of all of this love. Because the truth was, I was scared. Scratch that, I was downright *terrified. Because somewhere between the stolen kisses and the longing glances, I’d fallen head over heels for the man standing in front of me, who just poured his heart out in search of mine, and I never wanted to lose him.

“Okay,” was all I managed to say, instead, all I could get out. “Okay, let’s do this.” But still, maybe because Andy really was my long-lost soulmate, he seemed to understand. He managed to read between the lines, hear my devotion and my love in those simple words. I knew it because his eyes lit up, and just like that, I was being embraced by those delicious arms again, held like I was the most precious thing he had ever encountered and the only thing he needed to be happy.

He was everything to me.

“I love you, sweetheart.” Everything felt different, every pet name, every touch. It was sweeter, purer. There was no overwhelming pressure of rushing through this, trying to escape the sin, the guilt. This man was mine, now. I could finally relish every single second of this experience.

“I’ve wanted you since we’ve met,” I finally managed to admit it, making sure to look him in the eye so he could see just how serious I was about this. “I’m just so happy we finally get to be together, like… like a real couple.”

His soft smile was the reason for my heart faltering at times, and when he paired it with light brushes over my cheekbone with his thumbs, it was powerful enough to make me weak in the knees. Still, because it was Andy, after all, he couldn’t help but to tease me - I knew I should expect it from the mischief in his eyes.

“So, everything we did before, it doesn’t count?” I huffed at the same time he started laughing, barely seeing me rolling my eyes at his childish behavior since he had tears in his. And despite how much I wanted to be annoyed at him for ruining such a beautiful moment, I could only feel warm inside from seeing him this happy, and being here to share this new beginning of his.

“You know what? No, it doesn’t, daddy. You’re gonna have to get me reacquainted with your cock all over again. Are you up for the challenge?” He laughed out loud at this, beautiful face suddenly looking boyish as his eyes closed for a moment. so that he could fully enjoy his happiness.

Andy’s P.O.V.

“When you look this fuckable? It won’t be a challenge at all, darling.” I watched with perverse pleasure as she shivered from my words, eyes suddenly darkening with lust as she bit her lower lip. “Now c’mon. Let’s start christening this place.”

My first step was the bedroom, of course. I had bought a new bed with the sole intention of ravishing her on it. Sleep was secondary. “Take off your clothes,” I commanded as soon as we were inside the new room, quickly taking off my shirt before sitting on the mattress. “Slowly,” I added when I saw her initially run to obey, but then a small smile painted her beautiful lips as her movements became more fluid.

“Someone wants a show,” she teased, revealing her perfect body little by little, each new inch making the anticipation rise in me. Damn right I wanted a show. But any amount of time I got to spend with her was a spectacle of itself. She was the muse I once believed I would never find. “Like what you see?”

“Fuck yes. Come here.” She approached me slowly too, soft hands I knew too well running over her own body and making me desperate to be the one that was touching her. “I want to worship your body the way that you deserve it, after waiting for me for so long.”

I saw her eyes soften at that, her hands cradling my face when she was close enough to hop on my lap. “I’d wait even longer if I had to.” It made me happier than anything else, knowing that she was as happy with me as I was with her. 

So I pulled her to meet my lips again, groaning as I got my taste of her - but it was enough. It would never be enough, especially now that I knew I was hers and hers only. And then she inadvertently started grinding against me and it almost had me falling back against the bed. “God, you’re hot,” I moaned as I watched from under my eyelashes the way that she moved for me and only me.

“I love when you talk dirty.” Her giggles were the sweetest sound I ever heard, and I loved to be the cause for them. But my need for her was so pressing, that I ended up cutting them short by pulling her for another kiss, while adjusting her until she was sitting on one of my thighs.

“That’s nothing, darling. You know just how dirty I can be, and you still haven’t seen everything I got up my sleeve. Come on, move those hips for me,” I directed, helping her ride my thigh by the grip I held on her ass. 

“You know what I want to do to you?” I asked, my voice dropping a tone as I whispered in her ear, needing to see her cum for me for the first night that night. “I want to lick all over your skin without the fear of being interrupted,” I started, reminiscing about just how many things I wanted to experience with her now that we were officially together. “Do you know how great it will be now that what we’re doing isn’t improper?”

Y/N almost laughed, but it came out as a gasp as I flexed the muscles underneath her, making my thigh a bit harder for her to rub her sweet cunt against. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’ll definitely keep doing some pretty improper stuff…” I forced her to quicken her movements until she was cumming before my eyes, sweet, sweet whimpers falling from her lips as she struggled to catch her breath. “... I just won’t have to feel guilty about them anymore.”

As I turned us over to lay her body on the mattress, our lips dancing together once more, the realization that this was my life now making my head feel light with all the happiness inside of me. This was my bed, this was my woman and it was only just beginning.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Well, that’s a relief,” I teased, taking advantage of the little break that he had given my lips as he slowly but surely laid kissed around every inch of my chest. “For a second there, I thought you wouldn’t want to do dirty things to me anymore.”

That earned me a laugh, muffled by the way his lips were pressed against my neck and making me laugh by reflex, since his beard kept tickling me. “Oh, believe me, pretty girl… There’s a lot of dirty stuff I want to do to you. And I won’t lie, some of them are probably still going to happen in my office.”

I tried to swallow back a whimper that made its way to my lips as Andy licked a stripe up my neck, only stopping to nibble on my jaw before admitting to his plans. “After all, I really can’t control myself when you wear those tight skirts to work. But I don’t think they can really be blamed.”

Pink lips wrapped around my nipple and a gasp did escape me, my hands flying to hold Andy’s locks to keep him attached to my chest, but he had other ideas. “I just can’t seem to be able to be near you without desperately wanting you,” he finished, eyes connected to mine and mouth glistening with the saliva he had spread over my breasts. “You’re just too much of a temptation.”

Now, of course, after such a declaration, what can a girl do? I didn’t seem to find the words to vocalize just how I felt about him too, too busy trying to control my heart and clutching his shoulders while he sucked lovebites all over my exposed body. We didn’t really have to worry about them now, even if they would seem terribly unprofessional for some of the senior partners.

“Tell me what you want, sweetheart,” he urged, and I swallowed dryly before finally voicing, “I want your cock in my mouth, daddy. I want to make you feel good.” Andy audibly groaned at my request, quickly rolling off of me and discarding his pants while I assumed a familiar and very comfortable position between his legs.

My mouth watered at the sight of his already fully hardened member, and I reached out to replace his hand that was slowly jerking it off with mine, leaning down to give the head a small kitten lick just like I knew he liked to be teased.

“Fuck, darling,” he moaned, and I could feel myself growing wetter at the pure power that I felt at having this man so fucking needy for me. When I slowly started to suck on the head of his cock, making my way further down inch by inch, the signs of impatience that became evident in his body only made my desire grow.

“C’mon, pretty girl,” he half begged, half ordered, leg twisting behind me in an effort to control himself. “Take it all on your own, like you always do. Make me proud.” Shit, he knew just what to say to have me quickly gagging on his cock out of my own free will.

I didn’t even think twice before going down on him until my lips met his navel. If anything, the strangled moan he tried to stop, the way his hips instinctively raised up and blocked the air from my lungs, making my eyes water, only served as incentives for me to keep going, up and down, up and down, licking and swirling and sucking until my jaw started to hurt and still, I didn’t want to stop.

Andy’s P.O.V.

It was always a battle between allowing myself to spill in her delicious mouth or perfect pussy, but today, I had other plans - and they involved me having to exercise incredible restraint as I pulled her away from my member by her hair, chuckling at the whine she let out.

“Lay down,” I ordered nodding towards the bed, and she quickly did so, crawling on her hands and knees towards the center of the mattress, but just before she could reach it, I pulled her by her ankle and turned her around myself.

“Can’t wait to fill you, sweetheart.” I was impatient, that much was obvious, but I don’t think she minded by the way her hips thrusted back to meet my fingers as I fucked her open with them, using my thumb to rub her throbbing little clit. “Do you want that?”

She nodded, managing to hold eye contact but not capable of saying anything, her bottom lip held tightly by her teeth as she struggled to swallow the whines I begged to hear. “Beg me for it,” I ordered, picking up the pace and curling my digits until I was able to hit her sweet spot every time I thrusted into her tight channel. “I want to know how badly you want me, I want to see if it even *comes close to my own desire for you.”

A gasp was still all I received as a response, and I had to contain my smile as I slowed down my movements, making them sweeter but deeper. I knew what was holding her back, and it wasn’t the weakness of her desire when contrasted to mine. “It’s alright, darling. You can scream, you can cry out my name as loud as you want. We don’t have to be quiet anymore.”

When her eyes met mine again, I could see that she understood, but it was still hard for her to fully let go. So I picked up the pace of my fingers, leaning over her to suck a bruise on her collarbones before whispering in her ear, “C’mon, pretty girl. I’ve always loved to see you squirming, trying to keep those beautiful sounds in, but right now, I’m dying to hear you moan.”

Her orgasm was what finally made her lose control, cumming while screaming my name, making me grin from ear to ear and keep the pace of my digits until her hand covered my wrist, a silent plea for me to let her calm down. I allowed her that, pulling away from her with a brief kiss on the forehead before turning my attention to myself, curling my fist around my cock that twitched with only that slight stimulation, probably because of the debauched scene before me.

It didn’t take long for her small hand to cover mine, forcing myself to jerk the throbbing member as a sign that she was ready for more, now. And so I pulled her even closer, forcing her legs to open wider before I rubbed the head of my cock between her lower lips, gathering some of the moisture there.

“You ready?” Pushing into her for the first time was always incredible. Often, it’d take me back to that long night we’d spent trying to work on a difficult case, when it all became too much for both of us to handle and I gave into temptation, bending her over my desk before burying myself inside of her.

The way she gasped so prettily at the feeling of my cock stretching her open was still the same, and it mirrored the way I groaned at how her tight walls squeezed me as I tried to bottom out inside of her. “So fucking tight,” I noted, arms resting on each side of her face as I waited for us both to grow used to the feeling of being connected again.

I kissed her once more before starting to move, losing myself in the taste of her while she messed up my hair, running her fingers through it to hold onto the locks when I did start to fuck her against the mattress. The feeling of her hands traveling further south, until suddenly I felt her nails running down my back, had me jerking abruptly in surprise, the realization that now she could leave marks on my body only leaving me more desperate for her, to make her mine once and for all.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Fuck.” The way he gasped against my mouth was so pretty, I wanted to keep hearing it for the rest of my life. “You’re mine now, sweetheart. This is where you’ll spend the rest of your life, right here, getting filled by my cock over and over again.”

It didn’t seem like a bad future to have, especially when he squeezed my hips so tight, trying to control himself so this wouldn’t end so soon. “Fuck, no one can make me feel as good as you do, darling. No one.”

My body felt warm, like a fire had been lit inside, and the only thing that made it simultaneously more controlled and brighter was kissing him, feeling him connected to me, from his forehead to his toes.

I loved this man. God, I loved him, and it felt so good to be able to feel this way, without having any guilt attached to this wonderful feeling. Knowing that he was now mine and only mine, that I could give my whole heart to him without any fear, because he’d given me his.

It felt different this time, regardless of the dozens of times I’d had him inside of me. It was like we were both stripped to our very soul, finally getting to introduce them to each other, and there was a connection, a certain recognition that I just couldn’t put into words - especially not when he was fucking me this good. We just worked. It’s like despite how it all began, we were meant to be.

“Fuck, I love you so much.” And it was that declaration of love that had me clenching around him, reaching the high of desire that only he could show me. It didn’t surprise me that as soon as my orgasm began, he started to lose the rhythm of his thrusts, until he was groaning, “I’m cumming, I’m gonna cum inside of you, just like I promised, pretty girl.”

The reminder seemed to awaken every single nerve end on my body, and I gasped as I felt another orgasm building as his movements grew more frantic. “Don’t you want it? Don’t you want my cum? Say it, sweetheart. Say you want my cum.”

The reality of the situation hit me then, serving as an added stimulation to my already overworked body. He really wanted this. We were really doing this. “Yes, of course I want it. I want your cum, daddy.”

That was it for him. I watched as Andy threw his head back, eyes closed in bliss while his biceps bulged in an effort to keep him from falling on top of me. “Yessss… Make me a dad, Y/N,” he roared, suddenly pushing himself away from me to hold my legs open even wider, fingertips buried on the flesh of my thighs.

I felt his release paint my insides, and our eyes connected just then, acknowledging the weight of the moment between us. His hand reached out to stroke my chin before he carefully rolled us over so I could rest on his chest without him leaving me.

“I can’t believe we get to stay here for as long as we want,” he suddenly spoke, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between us. “No more excuses, no more hiding. Just you and me, and this big and comfortable bed.”

“I can’t believe I get to fall asleep next to you…” I whispered, lightly tracing over his jawline until he turned to meet my eyes, hand holding my wrist tightly to catch my attention - as if it wasn’t already on him.

“I can’t believe you think you’ll be getting any sleep tonight.” And with that fortunate prediction into my future, I knew it would be full of giggles and satisfaction, just as long as I got to have Andy by my side.