#and not only that but theyre also dating they just dont exactly say that cause they dont care enough to explain what their relationship is

[boxloonaer]

yeehaw

howdy

i introduce you to two new ocs i have yeehaw

bin and bounty yeehaw

[apparentlyteodora]

thank god for linda's arrival atp 🙏🏻

“PAUL: For me, then, it was the sixties, I’d been doing a bunch of drugs, I wasn’t in love with anyone, I hadn’t settled down. I think maybe I was looking for something to fill some sort of hole. I remember at the time feeling a little bit empty. I don’t know whether it was spiritual or what, it was probably just staying up all night and doing too many drugs. I was probably just physically tired.”

— Paul McCartney: Many Years From Now

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

Im so in love with the narrative use of sentimonsters in ml???? And how it serves as a metaphor for parents who are Wrong??

You have Félix, who’s the most direct case of “parent thinks that having a child is like a little trophy and checkmark on the list and doesn’t want the child to actually be a person or exist or cause inconvenience.” His father literally didn’t see him as a person and based on the fact that he literally broke Félix’s miraculous he seemed to see Félix as either disposable or unbreakable. There was no sense that he needed to be loved or protected.

But then you also have Adrien, who Gabriel *theoretically* loves. I think Gabriel actually thinks that he loves Adrien as a person. But he has this idea that he can make Adrien happy through obedience alone. He thinks he can just order Adrien to be content or to have the same priorities as him. He calls Adrien melodramatic a few times even and it’s like???

Gabriel *theoretically* wants Adrien to be happy but it doesn’t cross his mind that it’s going to take more than him yelling “hey Adrien i order you to be calm and content.” And ordering Adrien to love the career Gabriel Chooses and love the girl Gabriel Chooses for him and the hobbies that Gabriel Chooses for him. And when that doesn’t work he decides that Adrien is just Beyond His Help and will be better only with his mom there.

And it’s like???? Very fun nuance with this idea of,,, you cannot yell or force someone into being happy,,, it doesn’t matter if you have their best interest in mind,,, if you never listen to what they actually want or see them as a human person then you’ll still be the villian in their story

And THEN!!!!! You have Kagami who’s a completely different case even though she starts with the same circumstance. Because Kagami IS treated like a person and has a good amount of autonomy. It’s just all Conditional. She can do whatever she wants with her life as long as its also exactly what her mother wants. And her mother doesn’t always explain why. And the thing with that is!!! It DOES work for a while!!!! She does trust her mother and actually talk to her about things. And she will defend her mother to the ends of the earth.

But all it takes is that One argument where kagami says “hey . please stop making me date adrien. i dont want to . its hurting me” and tomoe TAKES HER RING instead of listening. And its like. Thats IT.

It doesnt matter if you spent years making a foundation of trust in a relationship because Eventually your kid is Going to grow up and theyre Going to disagree with you on Something Eventually. Kagami was so ready to listen to whatever her mother had to say but her mom didn’t elaborate on anything she just basically said “okay if you wont listen without question you dont get to have autonomy” and of COURSE kagami’s gonna be like. Okay. Bye then.

And i just think it’s soooo cool how there’s these different Layers of “parents forgetting that their child is a person and not a tool for your own personal gain” and that ml shows how it can manifest in so many different ways and it shows that it messes ,up trust and relationships and then it also shows that the kids are all okay once they have love and support and someone who treats them as a person with autonomy

and theres this theme of “it is not too much to ask that you be treated like a human person . no matter how broken or how much of a disappointment you think you are. you are still in the right for demanding to be seen as a person.” And i just. I really love my senti kids i love them soooo much

this show really said “it doesnt matter what sacrifices your parents made for you, youll never be an object that they own” and i just,,, yessssss

[grimm-bot]

I don’t see the parallels between Mable and Ford and Dipper and Stan. Can you explain cause i’m really curious now.

ok ok ok so. im not gonna cite any specific sources sorry im too lazy to go back but i promise you ive watched the series too much for it to be healthy

mabel and ford are both very much similar people. they're both very artistically talented, mabel made a lifelike sculpture of stan so you cant deny this one - they also both have very similar personalities, they're extremely blunt when talking to others and outwardly weird and proud of it, they just express it in different ways. i mean how many times has mabel directly called out dipper for doing Stupid Shit in the same way Ford has to Stan ? like at least three times. at least thrice. and theres definitely a parallel between mabel embracing being a weird little girl and making sweaters every day, eating toothpaste and whatever the unicorn creature from DDAMD was - she could choose to act normal, but why in the world would she ever? and ford not having that choice, so he pursues research of the supernatural to try and find a place for himself amongst the strange and unusual. both are also called out on by society for being strange - mabel just stands up to her bullies a little better than ford does. its also important to note that neither of them socialize normally at ALL. its just that mabel is so confident in herself that when she goes up to you and says HI I'M MABEL MY EARRINGS ARE NACHOS WANNA BE FRIENDS? you're like hell yeah!!! they are!!! lets be friends!!! theyre both so trusting too which leads to them being directly screwed over by bill, it isnt their fault at all but he STILL DOES IT. plus they both briefly dated a supernatural fish creature, and had an absolutely TRAINWRECK of a relationship that altered how they'll approach their future ones - mabels was with gideon, and fords was with bill.

and hoooo their twin. stan directly sees some of his younger self in dipper, most notably in dreamscaperers, which is why he tries to toughen the kid up. the two of them also solve a lot of their problems with Punching. as soon as dipper loses access to the journal he starts swinging. bro jumped off a cliff to punch a massive robot in the eye and also swung at a massive triangle god. he was NOT hesitating he just started swinging, exactly what stan does!!! and its for their twin. soooo much of what the both of them do is in pursuit of the goal of keeping their twin safe or getting them to safety. dipper sticks up for mabel against Pacifica exactly how Stan did for his family in Gideon Rises. they're also VERY intelligent + resourceful, and can fly by the seat of their pants with random information, stan rebuilt the portal with about a third of the blueprints and with zero funding, and dipper is shown doing complex math in an instant and using what little info the journal has on various threats to thwart them - part of this is also social intelligence. mabel may be a social butterfly but dipper and stan know who to trust and when and navigate their relationships extremely carefully. theyre also hella good at convincing people to do what they want - dipper redeemed at least two people by just talking to them, the only difference between the skill they have with words is that stan uses his to convince people to keep coming back to the mystery shack so he can make money, and dipper uses his to get people to fight back against injustice. i also dont think i need to tell you how insecure the both of them are in their identities. thats not even getting into the themes of self sacrifice

sorry this was long but tl;dr: a cutiepie wearing sweaters with a book vital to the plot whose eccentricities define them, and a smart&sly guy who has a way with words, with a front meant to hide their insecurities. okay was i talking about mabel and dipper or ford and stan in that order

[pumpkinsy0]

the gang finding out about papercut hcs? like the after affect of them finding out maybe

okok i actually think doing hcs of them AFTER they found out is super interesting

•when pony says hes “gonna go out” without fail either darry or sodas gonna say “with who”, and they would say it SOMETIMES, but now they say it more frequently in a bit of a suspecting tone

•steve sweaarrssss pony became more if a smartass when they found out he was dating curly and hes not 100% wrong

•when it comes to johnny, i imagine that he WANTS to know how the fuck they even got together, but more than anything he just wants to make sure ponys safe, so hes a bit apprehensive and protective of pony while curlys around, its not obvious, but thats bc johnnys more so an observer, he watches how curly acts w pony and only reports something if pony aint feelin so good

•just to get it out the way, before soda just didnt like it, the first question he asked himself was how didnt he notice and now considering hes w curly, he takes a lot longer while looking at pony, and questions him a little more when theyre in bed

•the notice that pony rlly doesnt smoke AS much, and theyre surprised to see that cause out if the gang hes like ine of the biggest smokers, and hes holding that back????bc of CURLY????? whats going on between em

•part of the reason y they were so hesitant w them together id bc of who curly was yes, but also they just,,,dont know how curly is in a relationship, so they dont know how to go, they know curlys an aggressive guy n can get into some bad situations so theyre just scared for pony

•pony HATES that the gang found out, for obvious reasons, but also bc he hates being babied and watched over, and he hates it EVEN MORE when the gang pretends like they arent doing it, and thats exactly what they do, its like everything has to b perfect to them in their eyes and he despises it

•yknow i think it would b funny if even sylvia knew about it bc 1) word gets around and 2) dally, and she just slithers up to pony like “so u and the middle shepard, huh??” and ponys shitting bricks, mostly bc he has no clue how to talk to her, in the end dally shoo’d her away from em

•if we wanna go down the “they all found them out at different times” ik they all had that ‘i suspected them that one time where they” convo over a card game, shit went on for like 2 hours

•pony tries not being the last person to get home or else he’s LITERALLY going to get interrogated by everyone, like darry will question him and when pony answers someone else would just butt in and add their own evidence to try and get pony to tell the truth

[roe-and-memory]

holding my hands out like a kid at a candy store asking what you think Lightning and Sally would be like at formal events. like getting invited to parties after races and such

im gonna say i saw this, i sent it to roe, and she said it was probably her favourite ask we’ve ever received but we had no real ideas BUT WE HAVE IDEAS NOW. DO NOT FRET. im so sorry it took so long for me to get to you 💔

okay so. First off. i feel like lightning is a very casual, “you’ll have to physically hold me down to get me to wear anything fancy”, kind of guy. he would rather die than wear a suit. BUT, he listens to sally, and sally likes these formal events because it means they get to dress up together and look all cutesy as a couple (he will wear a suit if its for a date so Dont Worry, but the formal events are like fighting to get a cat in water or a fish out of it.)

so, more often than not, sally is kindly asking if he’ll dress up to go to the piston cup event, and more often than not it ends with him shaking and crying in front of the bathroom mirror trying to figure out how to fucking tie a tie because no one taught him. he only cooperates if its sally wanting to go BUT he will argue.

but when he gets to these parties or events, he forgets how much he Hates what hes been forced to wear and Boy can he brighten up a room. he gets one drink into his system (obviously very rarely, i cant see him enjoying alcohol too much) and all common sense or care is Gone he will embarrass himself in front of every other person in that room. this can Also be caused by the urge to try and fit in with the rest of them and just doing it Wrong.

sally, on the other hand, takes it slow. she has half a drink throughout the entire evening and mingles with lynda or some of the other racers partners, sometimes she has to go get lightning and bring him back to the table for food or just because hes getting Visibly overwhelmed but is Not realizing it himself or Trying to poorly be calm about it.. but she also brings a life to the party. i think she likes to dance, i think she maybe isnt the best at it (but to her credit, lightning cant dance for shit either) so she’ll dance with Her friends or lightning and it may be kind of embarrassing but she doesnt really care!! she likes these events quite a lot, it gives her a chance to engage with what lightning does for work and she can make friends she can relate to (and share anxiety with regarding race days..)

lightning will either find himself with sally or with bobby and cal, both of whom usually stand around doing nothing interesting and he has to collect them to bring their trio together. they both make fun of him for having to dress up so much, bobby gets complete freedom to dress however he likes because nobody in his family is really a major part of his piston cup career (and he doesnt have a partner)((and to clarify his family 100% supports him theyre so so proud but they dont have ANY idea what exactly these events entail so they stay out of his way)) whereas cal usually has to keep up the nice appearance because of that Weathers Family Name. he doesnt mind, he likes dressing up anyways, plus after the accident he had to go to a majority of events with his aunt and uncle cause no one could watch him. so hes been Trained for this day.

anyways, i think theyre both very proud of each other and they both Very much show it, especially at these events, theyre very lovey dovey and theyre silly and and. Yeah thats all the ideas i have 😭

[kidfoundonstreets]

LOVEBRUSH CHRONICLE. YOU LIKE?

ill try to keep it brief 1/20397

lovebrush chronciles is an otome game deisgbed by team/company I AM ACTUALLY NOT SURE DESPITE YOU SEEING IT EVRRYTIME YOU ENTER THE GAME HOLD ON neteaze games (passion of gamers) and it is about altnerate universes, time fuckery, and school life.

the game begins introducing itself as a regular otome school life sim (my condolences to the fans who fell for william first sight only to find out hes not an actual love interest trust me i see u i feel u) but then WHAM BAM!! just when u thougut ur girl best friend was lookin kinda cute she gets X_x in this summon circle and you jump in to save her only to find out youre now in a royal cage surrounded by people that needa sacrifice you to save themselves from their own doom. oh and youre not in your own world anumore good luck have fun

so now here goes the different plots and paths with the love interests. the way i playrd it was as they introduced it, which was ayn aklaid lars claerence. no cael route yet which rips me apart every night. the love interests seem to have consistent values throughout most universes despite all of their diferet upbringings which i find pretty cool considering schoollife and royaltylife are two completely drastic diferent things, and also i nejoy how mc is written with more character and an amazing design to match the rest of the beautifully drawn cast

on that topic the art is GORGEOUS. i have never seen such beautiful detailed art in a game before and i assure you it will not disappoijnt. the graphics and smoothness of the game are especially a great touch. THERES A MINI STORY FOR EACH CARD BTW SR AND UP ITS SO GOOD becasenit feels as if the creatoes actually put care and give a shit into whar theyre writing and drawing and even in little events the absolute quality and depth of the cast shines theough its just i cannot express how much you need to play tjis game if you like dating sims ITS FREE TOO??,×*#&@ IMSO SAD WHY ID OBEYEME GETTING SM ATTENTION WHEN THIS IS SITTJNGHERE HUH dont get me wrong i too was in that hole but trust me brother there is only one man worth it there and obeyeme sure as hell isnt gonna do it justice with its 200+ chapter peobably plotline

anywya its 11 pm and ibhave no idea how to organize this post so ill just go through the cast

he is my plaything

ANYWAY ayn is so maahh hes the stupid cat that sleeps on me at night HE USED YO BE MY FAV AND WAS EXACTLY MY TYPE OFF THE BAT ITS SO IRONIC HES MY LEASY LIKED NOW but hes still very good and god you need to see this

^^ bisexual dilemma

^^ HIS EMO PHASE

i like him as a side piece, he has a nice personality but it doesnt stick out to me as much as the rest but i heavily respect the enjoyers of him

Aigh now

HHHRHRGGGHWH HHRGGBW WHWHWBW W SLSOPE9282B3BDND BSHSJW W GHENRBR .R FJJGGW HJ W..B GHN.F. H . THROWSUP aklaid my dear my darling ! i lvouou my little STARBOY my favorite my self sacrificing devoted prince who acts soo nice but is the cause of his own decay. smooochh I ADORE HIM dude one time he almost dies and mc is like "i am so sorry" and hes smiling qhile saying "nono! this is the happiest ivebeen" GET THERAPY

lars is my favorite lesbian

im onsessed w him hes always fun no matter where he is and yet they still dont dumb him down the moments where hes serious only add to his character his charm is unexplainable his rizz unatainable you could never

my TRUE favorite lesbian

MY FABORITE MY FABORITE KY DAVROITE I WAS SO WORRIED HOW I WOULD ENKOY HIM BECAUSE SO KUCH WAS UNKNOWN BUT AHGGWDHHSHW HIS ROUTE HIS DEPTH EVERYTHING IT MAKES ME SO SADITS HWARTBREAKING DUDE "HAIR HOLDS MEMORIES" IM GONNA SOB INTO MY HANDS I CANT BELIEVE I LOVE A MAN NAMED CLARENARENCNEUXIHQBQ SHUTOROSHUSITP oh and he really likes cats :D

i have run out of images but cael caught my eye since the beginning and i dont know whats wrong with him is he my parental figure my wife my side piece my worst enemy my hater my lover my killer my doomer my caretaker my one-time-leave-you-for-nine-months

i genuinely cannot stand him hes the one who i always run to and check on firstin efents and stories not claerence not lars not alkaid but fucking CAEL.

i cant help it maybe in the end my heart really belongs to him because im still waiting for his route and for him to show moreemotion and maybe break down or slowly go through the agony of learning to accept love despite everything despite you

this is the only part i feel a little uneased about in the writers hands.. they are very capable hands.. but will they do him right.. hes so stupidly simple but not it makes me grit my teeth and die

◇°♡○♤○£▪︎¥°₩`£•♡○◇○♡♤◇•◇•♡☆

THANK YOU EVERYPONY FOR REASING IF YOU DID PLEASE SMASH THAT OIKE AND SUBACRIBE BUTTON FOR MORE UNHINGED RANTS IM SORRY FOR BEING AUSTISTIC AND MAY DO IT AGAIN ♡♡ GOD BLESS

[leastdatablebracket]

ROUND 1, MATCH 53

Propaganda under the cut!

Baxter Ward

That Boy Needs Therapy

He ghosts you after the end of step 3, even if you try and date him.

look i love my boy, but baxter literally dumps you outside of your childhood home, shuts the door in your face even if you’re sobbing in the middle of the street, and then ghosts you for five years and then pretends he doesn’t care about you when you meet again. this is even if he’s aware that he’s your first love (if you chose to make him that). he literally says that you have bad taste in men if you choose to date him again before you’ve talked anything over shshhshssbb. love him but he needs a therapist waaaaayyyyy more than he needs a partner.

Ryouta Kazama

ok so i havent actually seen all of his route cause the game's only available in japanese and the streamer i watched play the game switched to a different guy like halfway through the game n i seriously doubt anyone else is gonna submit him i just need someone else to know about this so! ryouta and the player character (doesnt have a canon name but is given the nickname of marii by the two girl friends) were friends in kindergarten with ryouta having a very blatant crush on her n wished on a pinwheel for them to get married when theyre older he then moves to england as soon as he gets old and he n marii dont interact at all until nine years later when he comes back for high school and is still very blatantly down bad for a girl he last talked to when they were six but has spent the last nine years still thinking about (theres something in the game you can unlock called adv events where you get the love interests pov on moments in their lives and one of ryouta's reveals that even though he couldve he never sent marii any letters but very much did spend all those years thinking about her) n a lot of his interactions with marii are weird n circle back to him being obsessed with them being friends as kids and like a first it just kind of seems like oh he hasnt gotten over his puppy love yet lol but it is kind of like acknowledged that this is a weird thing in game as if marii gets his gift in the christmas exchange ryouta will say something about it being fate n marii pointedly ignores that n is like wow what a coincidence that we got eachother's gifts (not in an oblivious heroine way btw ryouta's straight up is like oh ok ur ignoring what i said) n he treats her like shes naive n completely innocent which like marii is cause shes a mostly blank slate otome heroine but its still noteworthy as being weird due to his aforementioned memorialization of them being friends in kindergarten n that none of the other love interests really treat marii that way or really make note of those being notable traits of hers that often while its something ryouta does frequently anyway so the moment that made my thoughts on ryouta switch from "lol hes kind of weird" to "i want to study him like a bug" is that His Bedroom Is The Exact Same As It Was When He Was A Six Year Old Child In Kindergarten And Hes Keeping It That Way On Purpose like genuinely thats immediately read to me as horror movie shit imagine reuniting with a childhood friend of urs who keeps bringing up stuff you did as kids (that you dont really remember cause you were like six n are now in high school) n making comments about how naive and easy to read you are n gets weirdly jealous about other guys being buddy buddy with you and then like a year or so after hes moved back n you've becomed friends again he invites you to hang out at his house so you go over and then His Room Looks Like It Belongs To A Six Year Old and hes telling you about how his room hasnt been altered (beyond cleaning) at all since he left n since hes come back hes chosen to keep it exactly the same n hes telling you this like its a reasonable thing literally what the fuck also while ryouta is the posterboy childhood friend love interest of this game theres another love interest who was both ryouta n marii's childhood friend and you'll never believe this he treats her like a normal person and is just a normal guy who barely remembers being friends in kindergarten and him n marii only learn that theyre childhood friends cause of ryouta being mildly exasperated that neither of them really remembers them being a trio when they were six theres definitely like worse love interests i could submit from this series (like the teachers n one of the three secret love interests in the second game whos route is just straight up him emotionally abusing the heroine) but im submitting ryouta cause his reasons for sucking as a romantic partner are bizarre n live rent free in my mind

[fappellmoan]

going to pointlessly ramble about the grammys just cause im annoyed and bored at work:

in no way is anti hero a song worthy of an award as stupid as the institution giving it might be. did a lot for fandom edits but stop giving that woman grammys just cause shes popular oh my god. that album sucked

ill keep these next two complaints separate. guts was fine but not good enough for album of the year are we kidding. i knew it was gonna happen and got preemptively a little bit mad. sorry olivia and her fans i love u girl but stop giving teenagers grammys it's really going to their heads. im tired. nowhere to be seen: the rise and fall of a midwest princess or javelin. ok. guts was better than harrys house as an album nominee by a decent amount... but not enough. come on.

boygenius being on there but not muna or chappell or paramore. once again. boring. sorry i still havent listened to the whole record but it's so obvious theyre getting up there because they had a lot of popularity skyrocketing this year and theyre the whitest/most vague and performative about their queerness. i am not saying the artists themselves and the way they behave is performative btw im just saying like. chappell has local drag queens at every tour date. muna brings out a variety of artists for their openers and brought a trans choir to one of their days at. wait was that in la. well regardless it was recent. im just saying they dont engage with the broader queer community as much like hurrah yay tits out but. be serious. they are not the best performers or lyricists.

i guess kill bill is fine as song of the year but the rest of these... why isnt speed drive on there if we're including barbie songs.

best new artist. im appalled chappell isnt there but whatever. as fine as his music seems im sick of hearing about this noah guy.

BEST POP DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE. AND YOU PUT KARMA BY TAYLOR AND ICE SPICE. PLEASE BE SERIOUS. THAT WAS SO FORGETTABLE AND STUPID AND AWFUL. OH MY GOD WE'RE IN HELL SORRY TO BE DRAMATIC. FUCK OFF AND DIE I AM SO SICK OF SEEING THAT WOMANS NAME (sorry ice spice). WHY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS ONE THAT GOT AWAY NOT THERE (well apologies if it only counts feature songs usually...... whatever.)

the fact that fast car luke combs is on there. WHAT EXACTLY DID HE DO. HE TOOK A LESBIAN'S SONG AND SANG IT LIKE. OK. HE DID NOT WRITE THAT SHIT. IT'S NOT THAT GOOD OF A COVER. KYS!!!!

yeah whatever naturally charli wouldnt show up for best soundtrack on bottoms. and maybe it wasnt like THE best score ever but it was so much fun.

fast car is on here twice. im clenching my fists.

at least rush is on here i guess... why no other troye noms even.

best pop vocal album and u have olivia and taylor there. this is how u can tell pop music rn is in the shits. sorry. neither of them have bad voices theyre just singers not vocalists. not to be pretentious but if the whole category is about vocals.

i wont hate on them for this but olivia and boygenius are the only women you could come up with for the rock category. what about nova twins. ig their genre is weird but neither of them wholly fit it either. ok also their album is from 2022. whatever

best music video and they have rush but not got me started or whatever or one of your girls.... right. omg caroline rose is on here (not mv) i liked her one song

k well then theres a lot of others sorry to neglect but whatever. in conclusion. im sick. and tired.

[oraclemoontarot]

ahh ur cool to chat with.

im sure kpop has set ways but lately im uncertain as to what they are aiming for... loved enhypens recent comeback it was so cool, did u see it yet? but again theyre an other group I can only really like and its so strange to me when theres teens who r obviously much younger than myself overly obsessing and being possesive over the idols bc i had exactly the same stance about western bgs during the 00s. now im kind of just enjoying them for the music and dont feel the need to deeply obsess over every detail but tarot blogs r so fun to ask qs and find out stuff we couldnt find out about one direction etc etc. it honestly seems so long ago the 00s and its weird bc when u find a new group and theyre so young i have to check difference in age gaps nowadays (lowkey wish there wasnt an age concept at all in society bc then it wouldnt matter). but ngl it is so awkward, like even seeing how ppl nowadays still flock to harry styles home town (yes also did that myself). yet kpop in general has so many cool themes and vast difference in terms of performance styles as well.

ik its only awkward if u make it awkward but ppl kinda take obsessing abt idols way too far. yet we have all been thru that phase so i get it but kpop stans seem next level crazy sometimes in a good way sometimes in a bad way, i also dont get how such delusional obsessions can lead to building closer relationship with said idol like u aint just going to make friends if ur crying over them in front of them yaknow? and other stuff like going to their hotels or following them whilst theyre out in their downtime. i dont think theres ever just been a non crazy time for idols at all. i cant imagine what their dorm rooms must be like cause I bet they all been doing other adult / human things lmfao. yet the way their fans overreact to mere dating rumors is ridiculous atp. or say for instance idols future spouses as well is the topic that seem to get ppl most riled up when it comes to thee sorts of readings. lowkey sometimes i ask why do i need to know but i ask anyway bc why the fuck not then i think its childish of me lol

aw tyy so are you!! I haven't watched their mv or listened to their album yet (if it wasn't a single), but I heard parts of it online and it does sound real good, I used to be an engene so maybe it's a sign to listen to this comeback.

no I get you so much here especially. Being a fan(girl) is so so much fun, you get to watch content, listen to music, learn about the members, go to concerts, collect merch, and meet other fans. There's a whole culture and community around it that, when you first get into kpop, it's so exciting. It's unsurprising people would get obsessed at first.

But yeah, I personally get really excited watching their content or over an idol (ahem haechan) when on my own, but whenever I meet them in person it's like all that excitement disappears and I'm like, 'oh, they're just a guy/person...', and it's really chill. I don't at all know how people think following them around, partaking in every single fancall, and getting overly excited and emotional would lead to them getting close with them.

You know, I think this obsessiveness dies down as we mature/get older. It's like we have other things to focus on, we become more grounded with less free time, and distance ourselves a little more.

Please, just imagining they're probably lying in bed scrolling through videos etc. while at home is kinda funny. They likely do what we do anyway as they're people at the end of the day, it kind of makes you see them more... normally?

We're alike haha. Yeah it's fun, especially with ideal type readings etc. but then you take a step back and think, am I doing too much? 😭

[myfaveisfuckable]

Rants under the read more

mihashi/hamada: listen literally any ship that isnt abemiha or tajihana is a rarepair for this manga which deeply sucks if u arent a fan of either of those ships but i dont think this pairing even has a tag like these two are childhood friends hamada starts a cheer sqaud for the baseball team mihashi plays on theyre generally pretty close (its been a while since ive read the start of the manga but im pretty sure hamada also got mihashi into baseball in the first place? like hello??) n then theres like one fic in their platonic relationship tag so 👍👍

Nokiami : (spoilers for the game) all the fan stuff ive seen for the game is painfully straight unless its focusing on the two ships where one character is canonically gay n in love with the other (protag of the sequel game with his gay bestie i forgot the name of n yuuko/fei) n ami is usually just drawn on her own BUT theres a lot of canon subtext between nokia n ami mostly as a result of not much actually changing based on if u play as a boy or a girl regardless nokia to some extent likes ami she flirts with her talks about their relationship as if theyre already dating theres a scene that parallels a m/f couple in the game that plays exactly the same between ami n nokia with two other characters saying something along the lines of ah young love during a mandatory side quest ami gets offered an implied sex doll that looks exactly like nokia (weird story there the quest ends with it being heavily implied that the people that take the dolls end up having their organs harvested while their minds are stuck in a digital space called eden unaware that theyre not in the real world) n she has to think about it before declining the offer nokia's character arc is working to become a strong leader n reliable friend cause she wants to stand next to ami instead of relying on her theyre childhood friends but forgot about it ok i need to explain a bit more of the story so like as kids ami n nokia along with three other characters met beta testing for eden n one of them ended up getting eden syndrome to make sure theyre all able to leave safely (theres a thing called eaters that if u get eaten by put u in a coma cause theyre storing the contents of ur brain in them) n a guy who wants to use the eaters to get to the next stage of evolution removes their memories of the incident so years later as teenagers ami nokia n arata (one of the childhood friends important to the story but not to the ship) become friends again n reunite on eden where ami ends up getting eden syndrome but in a funky way cause she was logging out as she got eaten so she has a cyber body that over the course of the game deteriorates n at the end of the game ami basically dies right as everything is being fixed all the victims of eden syndrome are no longer comatose but ami is cause yknow kind of deteriorated too much n it happened right in front of nokia's eyes as she reached out for her hand so they could go home together n nokia cries for the only time in the game cause of that but ive genuinely never seen any fan stuff of them interacting so despite them being teased romantically n built up as being really important to eachother theres nothing not even like nokia with takumi (boy protagonist) im submitting it specifically as nokia/ami just cause i like wlw ships more if u want to do it neutrally protag's surname regardless of gender is aiba sorry if this is incoherent its been like 6 months since ive played the game

[lunar-lair]

busts down the door fuck it. off the cuff gender/sexualities headcanons for the rise boys/whoever else i decide. i havent fully considered these/written these out so it might be a hot mess have fun (its also 1 am this is your warning)

see leos a little Special. surprise trans leo is my fav thing ever so what I like to do is ambs (assigned male by splinter, he didnt know the cloacas were in different areas or to start squinting when leos shell got more concave. no i did not know those facts before surprise trans madness/my egg doc i made a whole cloth new however the fuck you say it reproductive system for this fucking turtle so he and his bunny boyfriend could have kids and i could torture him with sliders being oviparous. thank you less-depresso-more-expresso for your leo egg post in december it changed me fundamentally) -> oh . those are eggs. ok *whistling sound as he continues w his life* -> wait gender is a construct. maybe this is a gift -> genderfluidity slaps the kid in the face when theyre abt 17. also hes gay cause it feels right. so does some form of demisexual or romantic but i have a lot of opinions on how his dating life would go and how it would impact his character (rhinocio gets it if u know them. were besties u see) so i think that woudnt hit until more like 18 or smth like that maybe idk

in much more basic terms. genderfluid gay leo ftw we love a trans leo in this house. this goes whether or not you believe in Egg this kid is not cis mark my goddamn words

raph has always screamed she/he to me as she has to most people. im feeling bi. double bi also feels both very right and very funny his siblings would have a ball w that

if mikey doesnt use neopronouns whats the point. gender is a game and mikey is winning. sexuality is also a game and mikey is Still winning. goes w pan but literally would nebulously date anyone as long as they seemed cool and he liked them well enough. they and leo are shaking hands except leo is hoarding like she, he, they, and maybe a couple other neopronouns meanwhile mikey is like im everything all at once fight me abt it. so nonbinary in the everything kind of way. maybe. i have no idea what the name for this is but i know exactly the kind of vibe im talking abt

and ofc donnie is in the absolute opposite direction. he/they, more nonbinary than anything else. rise apritello star lastknownstatus-alive has allured me with aroflux donnie and considering i know like two things abt the aro and ace label existence im absolutely listening. definitely think hes on that spectrum though, it just fits. think hed look at the sexuality thing and go ...none of these are right. and then forgo it entirely. their sexuality is whoever is hot and whoever they fall in love with die abt it

this is where i say that trans man draxum means everything to me and also that man simply isnt straight nor is he allistic (i mean allo as in like hes definitely on the ace/aro spectrum and i didnt realize until rereading a while later but he is also not allistic tbf)

also splinter is bi i rest my case. pretty normal gender on that rat though, even with the gnc everything

april is so . that gender is so everything. hoarding genders like mikey but less so and also less aggressively. less everything all at once and more somethings sometimes and sometimes not other things. shes a solid inbetween of mikey and leo. my brain clocked bi but i honestly dont know why. help i dont know that many names and also i havent been in love in 4 years idk how the sexuality half of this works

also as a disclaimer we as a system (not in our bio bc Fear) identify as genderfluid (not that i know what the flag looks like . look i keep forgetting to look it up ok) but thats because its easier. a lot of us are sort of genderfluid or use multiple pronouns but remembering those gender experiences is HARD . accordingly any discussion of gender and the experience might be totally fucked bc were only so many genders bc there are so many people in this brain. ok im getting off the stepladder w my megaphone where i make separate points now onto casey

my baby my little guy. think the fam wouldve given him the opportunity to explore that stuff as much as he could in the apocalypse. im feeling he/it. thinks gender is a construct. too busy to find a label. would probably like bigender or genderfluid. kind of like mikey, technically works w pan but would date literally whoever whenever wherever as long as there was a preexisting relationship. dont tell him but hes probably demiromantic

and casey sr!!! my girl my lady! i could go either cis or transgirl on her, or even she/they or she/they/he, she does whatever she wants any day of the week. absolutely a lesbian though thats undisputed. also feeling demiro And demiace

this is your last warning that i sussed half of these out based on vibes Right Now. except for leo theyre on my mind 24/7. and mikey mikey felt patently obvious. same for donnie but only gender wise

ok im done now prommy. may or may not fuck around and make a background + oh yeah! thats me!! style fic for these guys if i feel like it. probably wont come out during pride but hey. you dont stop being gay when june ends yk. either way tada ill come back if i decide i was talking bullshit and correct myself later. bc i usually decide i was talking bullshit eventually lmao. probably partially cause im like 18 its a natural side effect of growth occuring at a faster rate due to my younger age. anyways this has been your twice annually actually long and headcanons/fun filled luna post. ill see you in like, october probably, unless i get ballsy, see you then either way lmao

[paintedpineleaf]

"when you realize its almost 2025 and youre still in love with the same girl since 2021"

"how fast i'd run to her if she ever wanted to try again"

not me. not me cause i've dated two people and had situationships with two other people and never fallen truly in love with any of them. ive never lost my mind over any of them, i wouldnt run back to any of them if they ever wanted to try again. one person i broke up with said when i broke up with them that maybe we could try again in the future. i said maybe even though i knew i wouldnt want to. i feel more like the "when you dont say anything to a man and let him yap on and after a while he says "wow i really like you"".

i dont think some of my friends would miss me if i wasnt in their lives, in the sense that they would miss anything specific about me, my personality or my sense of humor or literally anything. i know thats a shit thing to say about people who consider me their friend.

its strange that ive never loved anyone more than my childhood friends to run to. if there was anyone i'd run to it'd be a friend i had in fifth grade who i basically never talked to again after leaving that school even when i went back there for two years. this is gonna delve into a sob story about my school but they're the only person i can think of.

i made a playlist recently called "i love you so much it hurts" amd the description was about this almost one-sided love ("i smile even when we argue cause i get to talk to you (i'll reply to everyone's texts but yours cause i can't handle what you mean to me)") andy friends asked me who it was about and i couldnt even give them a straight answer cause i didnt even know. i want to love someone and give my whole heart to them until it comes time to do it and i just. dont.

that seems slightly dishonest cause i was actually thinking if one of my friends when making that playlist, except it was one of those moments where, for no reason, you feel some kind of really intense love for someone, then the moment passes, and you feel normal about them again. i dont feel that way about the person all the time, and idk if i will again.

i think i might be aromantic cause i dont feel that kind of attraction towards people, but i do want to date people, and i get crushes on people where i want to pursue them romantically, i just get turned off once i actually get the person. which is so fucking shit, its a shit thing to feel and a shit thing to put a person through. idek what i mean by turned off, its not even exactly that, i just dont make relationships work.

i know its my fault, i just cant or dont give it my all, like im so fucking terrified to potentially love someone and get my heart broken that i dont even try. i want to end it before they do, it can't hurt if i stop loving them before they stop loving me.

that was actually why i broke up with my last gf, like i literally told them it was cause i wasnt ready for a proper relationship cause i couldnt give them my all, or even a part of me that anyone else didnt also have. they said they loved me and if one day i was ready, we could try again. what does that mean? why do you love me that much? what did i do? if i need to have done something to deserve someone hating me, then i did something to get that love, and i dont know what i did.

we're still friends but i still can't handle my relationship with that person because of the fact that i know they love me (not romantically) and i dont know if i love them the way they really deserve. it feels like they love so openly and freely and im misusing it. it sounds so fucking cliche and stupid to say that i feel unworthy of their love but i think thats how i feel. im not sure.

even so, i literally tell them nothing about me. we talk about their day, and what they did and something about their sister, and what theyre writing, but never anything about me (which isnt a problem, i like it that way, i told them i dont like talking about myself so its fine for them to talk about themself, and they do, and i find it nice to listen to them usually. i told them i'd say something about myself if i had something to say, and i dont like being asked, and they respect those boundaries and i really appreciate it)

sometimes i really want someone i can talk to about myself but that shit makes me feel so vulnerable like what if im boring them or what if they make fun of me. i know this person'd never do that and they'd probably be actually interested in whatever i talk about but that just seems to make it worse. i cant even point to what it is but just the thought of talking about myself to them makes me feel so uncomfortable. why are you interested why are you replying to me why do you seem like you care why do you care.

anyway this was a long rant about how im incapable of loving anyone or letting myself be loved and simultaneously craving the feeling of both loving someone intensely and being loved in turn and how its all my fault

[aezuria]

*ੈ✎ he's an all american boy!

content: american football player! jason grace x reader

╰┈▸ back cover: mortal! au; part I | part II

warnings: cursing (sorry guys), kinda random non-linear plot (but its hcs so its fine)

librarian's annotations: guys help i need a song title/lyric that fits this so it can be my title

also IM GOING FERAL I THINK THE ANGST MADE ME INSANE SO THIS IS HOW I COPE can you guys tell im projecting by the way ppl fawn over him in this

bro is actually hotshot #1

right when he walks into the school he is BOMBARDED with students like theyre papparazi

hes just

tall, handsome, buff- what more could a girl want?? (there are other criteria he meets but we'll get to that later)

the picture perfect quarterback straight from a damn movie

NOT TO MENTION HES NOT SOME COCKY JERK

at first ppl were like "omg hes so hot but im not gonna go up to him cause what if hes mean???"

and then he goes up to them and hes all shy like

"excuse me? i need to get to my locker, sorry if i interrupted your conversation." and hes scratching the back of his neck and smiling awkwardly

HEART EYES

word spreads fast in hs yall already know

so when everyone finds out hes not only tall, handsome and buff but also KIND??

head over heels

and hes not exactly oblivious to it but hes not fully aware of it either

probably like "oh yea a lot of ppl talk to me idk why tho its probably cause my friends are popular"

bby you’re the most popular out of your friends don’t even

hes such a good student too

teachers love him

hes everyones golden boy fr (especially mine teehee)

usually sits in the front of the class unless his friends make him sit with them in the back

then he pulls out his glasses that he keeps in its case, even having the lil wipe thing folded neatly

cue shocked gasps

"omg you wear glasses?"

"do you need to clean them? here have my handkerchief!" ("who even are you can't you see he has one")

"those suit you so well!"

his ears turn red at the sudden burst of attention and he laughs nervously, muttering his thanks

even the teacher wasnt mad at the disruption bc who would get mad at jason?

(he got little nudges from his friends after)

you guys know that one jock whose actually a nerd x nerd trope???

i dont even know if it exists but it sounds cute anyway

thats you and jason

he had his first conversation- if you could call it that, at the library when you guys were abt to grab the same book (ugh so cliche right)

being the gentleman he was, he let you have it

to which you tried to refute but he INSISTED

"oh, y/n it's yours. i'll just get a different one."

which got you a little intimidated bc who wouldnt be intimidated by a 6'2 jock thats the talk of the town

you thanked him profusely and scampered away

wait did he just say my name? how does he even know who i am?

that probably kept you up at night

like "oh my god did i just embarrass myself in front of THE jason grace???? did i walk away weird?"

little did you know that the jason grace was awake that same night

"did i scare her?? why did she look like that when i said her name? did my voice crack? did she think i was weird cause my hand brushed against hers? oh my god my hand brushed against hers.."

started noticing you EVERYWHERE after that

like he knew you guys were in some classes tgt

but he finds that he passes by you SO many times in the hallway

and somehow spots you at a table across the library

was that your usual spot? was this his usual spot now?

like what?? his delusional never-had-a-real-gf-because-that-one-time-he-dated-his-friend-she-turned-out-to-be-a-lesbian ass thinks its fate

very much influenced by all the books he reads (NO he does not read romance he simply finds an interesting book that HAPPENS to have romance)

(and if he did, WHAT OF IT HUH??? THEY COUNT AS BIG BOY BOOKS OKAY)

i have this headcanon that he remembers the name of everyone in his classes because he was always forgettable as a kid and no one really knew his name cause he was so quiet (or he tries really hard to remember because he has this aching feeling that in another timeline he could never remember)

so he doesnt want to make others feel that way and yea

BACK TO HOW HOT HE IS

(stealing part of this from my earlier rant)

its late, hes tired, but hes back in the library to cram for his test tomorrow

so unlike him, usually hed be on top of things, but his minds been on some... other things. persons. person.

hes still sweaty and sore from football practice, having (literally) ran straight here after changing

throws his bag down (quietly of course, he's not some brute) and takes out like three different notebooks, his worn pencil case from freshman year, and his glasses

jason slides them on, pushing it up the bridge of his nose as he gets up and searches for the textbooks he needs

he knows its more comfortable and less time-consuming to just study at home, after all he already has loaner textbooks given out at the start of the school year, but something in his heart wanted him to drag his beat ass here and work

and good thing too, because he sees a familiar hand grab a book from the other side of the bookshelf

not that he just knows what your hand looks like, that'd be weird

it reveals your beautiful eyes, ones jason would love to see closer

he smiles at you from the crack in the bookshelf, murmuring a soft "hello"

you think you just saw an angel with the way the warm light crowned his head

but when you offer to help him study??? he thinks he fell in love

you were his SAVIOR

thanked you a billion times every other sentence and fumbled over his words cause hes never talked with you for this long

his ears are bright red even though the ac in the library was always to the max

also how is he wearing just a shirt

not that you minded though, it gave you a chance to ogle at the way the fabric was fighting for its life to keep him under wraps

and daydream about fantasies that shall not be named (one involving a pink bow around his bicep)

you dont know how long you were helping and how long you spent daydreaming

you hoped you werent being too obvious (it was very, very obvious but jason was too focused to notice)

it felt like mere minutes when jason looks up, a tired but accomplished look on his face

he thanks you one last time, saying he'll make it up to you

you couldnt help but feel disappointed until the fatigue from the day hits you like a bus

he offers to take you home, saying it was too dark out, and that it wouldnt be safe

god, hes such a gentleman

you take him up on the offer as you did NOT plan on dying a virgin

walks you to your door too, can he get any better???

apparently he can because after he got his scores back for his tests, he rushes to you with a bright smile and presents them like a child with their artwork

”i got a hundred! it’s all thanks to you, you’re a really great study buddy!”

of fucking course he gives the credit to you how is he so humble??

like that was alllll him you just sat there and admired the view (so real for that)

after that he practically begs you to go to his next game, saying he'll return the favor by playing extra hard for you

(can he be extra hard for me tho)

you needed no convincing because a. hes jason grace. end of question. (and b, you know his ass would look great in his uniform GOOD GOOGLY MOOGLY)

he even said he’ll treat you if your school wins (which should be the other way around, but he again, insists)

they won, to absolutely no one’s surprise

took you to a cute lil cafe where you guys got drinks and sandwiches

then he overthinks it before bed cause he didn’t make it sound like a date but he really wanted it to be but he wasn’t sure if you felt the same and-

when you guys do start dating, everyones jealous but they cant bear to hate because you guys are just so cute together (bonus if youre short cause height difference couple !!)

he tried to keep it secret cause he didnt want to get you overwhelmed with a bunch of attention, but its obvious to everyone hes extra soft with you

he thought he was being sneaky when he slowly shifted his usual seat day by day to be closer to you so it wouldnt be obvious (spoiler: it was)

you assured him you were okay with your relationship being public if he was okay with it too

of course he is how can he NOT want you by his side forever

he sees his friends give their gfs their jersey to wear to their games and is like “i so want that” but he’s too shy to ask youu

but it’s written all over his face as you catch him staring intently at the way his friend hands over his spare jersey to his girlfriend when they think no one was looking

so, being the great girlfriend you are, took it upon yourself to ask him for it

which he gave to you a blushing, stuttering mess

the next game, he was worried

where were you? you weren’t usually this late; the game was about to start and he didn’t even get a good luck kiss yet!

he knows it’s probably nothing strange, that you’re just running late, but he can’t help but worry

the whistle blows and he sighs, getting into position, but not before sneaking one last glance at the bleachers

his sky blue eyes found you instantly, and was that-?

you were wearing his jersey, practically swimming in it as you waved your arm excitedly.

he broke into a wide smile, unfortunately hidden by his helmet, and waved back at you, forgetting all about the game for a moment until his friend whacked him upside the head

he buzzed with anticipation, wanting to just hurry and finish so he could run to you and spin you in his arms

you were his driving motive as he scored touchdown after touchdown, never letting the other team bridge the gap in their points

his team wins unsurprisingly, and the first thing he does is throw down his helmet and run to you, tackling you gently

he sweeps you off your feet and kisses you as you spin, giggles muffled by his lips

hes sweaty and sticky but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, the way his smile lights up the world is all that matters

and he knows that you’re his world, and he’d do anything to make you light up

[xxmourningdove666xx]

GRABS YOU AND SHAKES YOU spill the Cyril lore

okay hi hello i dont know the exacts of what you wanna know so i will indulge abt the parts of his lore ive been most focused on rn: his relationship with dustin (this will be deepest lore type shit)

so, theres a huge trigger warning for abusive relationships past this point so whoops. ill try to keep everything vague though

so!! dustin was the second man cyril ever dated, and this was in college. they met some time their first year and cyril wouldnt necessarily say they hit it off but well- he's not the strongest when a cute guy decides he's gonna flirt with him. honestly, i think it says something abt cyril that he didnt exactly fight the dude away even though he wasnt the biggest fan of him but, well, i feel like its understandable after noting this dude was like a whole ass volcel who barely took care of himself after finding the first guy he dated's dead body dumped in an alley so- you take what you can get as a disheveled mess of a person.

anyways, i feel like i dont discuss just how shitty of a guy cyril was for a lot of their relationship. like, you can definitely sympathize with him but idk- (trying so hard to keep myself from spilling every sin ive written into this story) he was a pretty damn closed off guy to dustin and its understandable why, between the fact he was pressured into the relationship and the fact he was taught to view emotions as inherently bad, and idk- i think they were both better off never having gotten together and sure i wrote them but i also didnt if you know the Deepest deepest lore (this relationship is based on one of my own :p ((yes half my oc lore is venting)))

anyways that aside i like talking abt how cyril's disability actually effects his day to day and i just- so dustin was killed because cyril shot him yeah? i feel like it should be known that was 100% a lucky shot, this dude has shit aim 99.9% of the time and elijah absolutely mocks him relentlessly, of course its important to note that their entire dynamic when it comes to fighting though is tank x dps lmaoooo theyre silly lil guys. regardless, cyril cant see out of one of his eyes which does make a lot of shit regarding needing depth perception difficult as all hell. if he really tried he could probably overcome the whole "shit ass aim" thing but he also doesnt mind being the one with terribad aim considering elijah is a trained sniper regardless, he has the whole demonic strength thing going for him, he'll be fine.

but yeah idk this probably only caused more questions actually so uh- oops-

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

1a is very interesting i hadnt really considered that! yea bc i guess they had some time to travel between angels take manhattan and the snowmen right?

1b im not sure i understand, thats too timeywimey for me. you mean like, she mightve already seen him before being in his post-pond depression but she didnt yet know the cause? and then she had to wait for her timeline to catch up to get what was going on?

2) yes i was thinking about that! like while i was doing my 11/river posts the other day i was like 'would all this have happened if it hadnt happened' you know what i mean? like from either of their sides it always had already happened because the other already knew. i guess their timelines and how they cross are sort of fluid enough that there are moments where they things arent entirely set in stone like that. like the doctor learns not for certain but for somewhat-certain or at least thats how he'd interpret it, that they get married right from the library right? "you know my name" (also the doctor mustve told her that at some point during darilium or smth right? most likely?)

4) yes! i havent listened to a Lot of rivers diaries, maybe half or so? how many are there? eleven? okay definitely not half. ive listened to Some fkjhjh but theres one where she meets a bunch of other people with water names who can regenerate? and i dont actualy remember how that story goes but what i do remember from it is idk this thing river says about wanting somewhere to belong. i think it might also be in this audio she talks about the doctor as this ghost that just drops into her life whenever he pleases, but that might also be another audio idk i need to relisten.

theres also a moment in the tenth doctor and river boxset, i think the story expiry dating? where theyre writing letters back and forth and theres a moment where river sort of talks to herself like "one of those wide-eyed orphans he saves" smth like that. im always like oof that self-image

but like who could she attach to right? she doesnt really have a normal family bc that got all messed up by the silence. she knows she marries the doctor or knows she will be attached to him in some way. and hes also a link to amy and rory right? so like, where do you go? in that position. yes you could idk settle somewhere i guess and make friends but you'd always be sorta unmoored, youre always waiting for the doctor, for your destiny basically. like if you make another life the chances are pretty high that as soon as the doctor shows up theyre gonna mess it all up. you know where you end up but you never know when hes gonna show up! youre just waiting

and also yeah like exactly what youre saying at 5 and 7 like. the whole situation in lets kill hitler, like, what else is she gonna do?? where else is she gonna go?? these are the only three people who are any kind of family

6) whats that line from?

anyway but yeah tldr rivers life is a tragedy!! and i think the doctor gave her a happy ending, sort of the life shes been waiting for her entire adult life probably, with darilium, but then again, the doctor did that in part bc of what they already knew about the library so!!! would any of it have happened if it hadnt happened!!!

but also just to come back to #2/the feeling trapped part too. idk. maybe they do feel that at times. i'd imagine especially river bc for the doctor it seems to me for a long time shes just kind of a puzzle he thinks about occasionally. and when they do marry it's the doctor who decides that and it's not like out of romantic motives necessarily. he has all the agency there so i can imagine he feels less trapped

but also i do think they really grow to care for each other, so that might lessen the trapped feeling a little. like yes okay time mightve twisted in such a way theyre tied together, but hey this is not a bad person to be tied up with theyre kinda having fun? most of the time?

also, kinda unrelated, but do you think they travelled for their 24-year one night date or did they like, make house and settle? bc im thinking like, though they might get a little restless and probably get up to stuff, daytrips, i can imagine they might both want to settle a little bit? plus also i can imagine there might be some rules, or imagined rules, about darilium. like maybe the doctor made up the rules, imagined rules that Time might have about that night/24-years and how it should go, but like it kinda feels like just, going away from that planet would break the rules? you know what i mean? they might be a little trapped there too. for 24 years.

@rearranging-deck-chairs

First off- I really do need to relisten to The Furies but the TARDIS wiki is going to have to do for now. This is going to be in list format because I am a scatter brained idiot. Also River’s timeline is so vague and being vague about timeline stuff is BF bread and butter so I feel like almost everyone is going to have a different view of River and that makes things difficult. She lies-the narrative lies its very distilled doctor who. 

(I am so sorry if this doesn't make any sense I tried)

1a.) I don’t think that she was always thinking that he didn’t love her back. I think that was a late marriage hiccup. Angels take Manhattan and eleven burning through the rest of his days with her I think caused some marital issues but it comes up against the fact that Moffat could only vaguely hint at these adult issues and not really explore them in the show itself. 

1b.) (as a sidebar I think that seeing eleven ask her mom to stay and then him being so hideously miserable should have caused issues but that goes into squicky territory for alot of people esp since she (presumably) had interactions with post angels-eleven before she herself did angels)

2.) This is never directly addressed in canon (so far) but it is on the periphery but given how they are non-linier I don’t understand how neither River nor the Doctor feel like they are trapped into their marriage to each other because it’s already written out (somewhat done with eleven but meh)

3.) TDoRS River both wants the Doctor around and desperately hates when he is actually involved in her escapades. Him being involved usually causes her to go more directly nuclear. She’s very protective of him in ways I don’t really think that he would appreciate.  

4.) All of this memory wiping of her meeting the Doctor’s past selves and how judicious she is with the amnesia is so sad? Like how alone must she feel. She doesn’t really put down roots.

5.) River is told that she only loves the Doctor because he was nice to her and given how she was abused in her upbringing she got mega attached to him because of that. 

6.) Unfortunately “Love is for children- I owe him a debt” is resonant

7.) The vague sense of melancholy only gets worse if you consider her relationship with the Pond’s too. 

Anyway the worst part is that there's all these delicious ways one could look at River/Doctor but at most it just gets vagued at because you can’t do emotional stuff like this in EU content. And because Big Finish doesn’t have Matt Smith or Karen Gillian (and didn’t use Arthur Darvill in TDorS when they had him).