#and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️'

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.

I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃

[bernardsbendystraws]

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒛𝒐𝒏𝒆

⚠︎  mdni, smut, alcohol abuse, parental neglect, overall mature themes, and more [ this is made for all parts ]

⤷ Get to reading, sluts. No copying. Ask if you’d like to use this as ‘inspiration.’ Fuck off and fuck me, lets get horny!!!

with love and big tits, Rose Toy

©bernardsbendystraws

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Chapter 6: Your Favorite.

I had woken up to birds chirping and the sun streaking through the blinds. My body felt wonderful. My stomach didn’t ache, I wasn’t shivering, and his arms around me felt heavenly. It was Saturday–the day I was supposed to watch Mrs. Evans' kid, Hailey. 

I had yet to meet Hailey. She was only a toddler. Mrs. Evans had always wanted a family, but from my knowledge–her body didn’t make it easy for her to do so. Sometimes I wondered if she had ever resented my mother when I was a child. She spent countless hours playing with me, taking care of me how my mother just couldn’t. I barely remembered any of it, it made me feel guilty. 

Matt and I had decided to take Trevor for a walk, still in our pajamas. He had thrown a winter coat, gloves, and a beanie on my head. It was excessive, but the man would not let me walk outside without ‘reasonable’ layers. Ironically, he didn’t even have gloves or a hat on.

“What are your plans for today?” He asks. I let out a sigh, mentally running through my list of things to do. 

“Well,” I start. “--I have to go home before I babysit. That’s pretty much it.” I answer. My hands are sweating inside of the gloves. I pull them off, zipping them inside of the coat pocket. I look over, watching Matt give me a warning glare. “I’m sweating! See?” I say. 

I reach out my hand, placing it on his. He takes it, intertwining both of our hands together. “Okay, fine.” He remarks. He rolls his eyes, sighing in defeat as we continue down the cement path. “--but if you get sick, I told you so.” He huffs. 

I shake my head, laughing. Trevor trots on Matt’s opposite side, heavy pants being heard. We walk up to his front door as he swings it open. He bends down, unhooking the leash. Trevour immediately darts to the couch, sprawling on the sofa as if he was dead. I laugh at the sight in front of me, shedding off the multitude of layers. 

I slip out of my worn shoes, placing them neatly on the patterned mat. I begin shrugging off the large puffer coat, feeling Matt take it off my shoulders for me, placing it on the coat hook. “Thank you.” I mumble shyly. He gives me a curt nod. 

“I know mom wanted to show you her garden today, she’s starting her spring stuff in her greenhouse as we speak. Wanna go check it out?” He notices my eyes squinting down at him. “--I won’t make you put a bunch of layers back on, I promise.” He says. 

I raise my chin, questioning him. He shakes his head, laughing. He grabs my hand, dragging me until we reach the back door of the house. He slides open the door, the cool breeze feeling like air conditioning in the heat of summer. The green fabric feels slightly heavier on my back, a thin layer of sweat coating down my shoulders. 

“Come on, she’s probably in the greenhouse.” I follow Matt down the dirt path, into the woods behind his house. The path diverted into two separate ways, the right one to the lake he had taken me to previously. He turns left, holding my hand as he tows me along with him. 

I see a small greenhouse come into view. The shed has rustic wood for walls with a multitude of windows, all covered in dead stems, withered by the cold. I follow Matt as he walks through the propped-open door, seeing Marylou dumping a bag of soil into a pot. 

She looks up, noticing us. Her soft, melodic hums stop as a cheery smile spreads across her face. “Hey, kids! I was hoping to show you my greenhouse! Would you like to plant with me? I’m putting down some soil into these pots,” She motions towards the array of ceramic plant pots. “--I could definitely use some help.” She points out. 

I ecstatically nod my head, Matt scratching the back of his neck and looking back at me for confirmation. “Sure, mom. What do you want us to do?” He asks, guiding me to the table with the materials. 

“I need,” She points to a high shelf in the shed, one far beyond her reach or my own. “--that.” She says. Matt reaches up, grabbing down a wooden box filled with various seed packets. He sets it down on the table, dusting off his hands. 

“Now what?” He asks. Marylou pats his back, pushing him. He walks with her hands guiding him to the door.

“That’s all we need you for, bye! Love ya!” She says. Matt turns around on the other side of the doorway, holding up his hands questioningly. He opens his mouth, a slight syllable escaping his lips before the door shuts in his face. 

“Love ya to, ma!” He shouts sarcastically from the other side. Marylou turns back to me, a mischievous smile spread on her face. She walks back over, handing me a bag of soil and moving a pot in front of me. 

“Just put it in there, darlin’.” She directs. I roll up the sleeves of the expensive hoodie, standing hunched-over to protect the vibrant fabric. I cannot get this dirty. I take the cut-open bag, dumping it in the pot like she directs. 

“Ya know,” I look up, seeing her wandering around, gathering various tools. “--I really like you, you seem like a very sweet girl.” She mentions. I feel my cheeks heat up as I avert my eyes back to the task at-hand. 

“Thanks.” I mumble. I hear her shuffling around, her hands coming in my peripheral vision. I watch as her hand grazes my arm, her pointing finger landing on my forearm. 

My eyes widen in fear. The cigarette scar lays right beside her finger. “What’s this from? It almost looks like a burn–any crazy story?” She asks. 

I shake my head furiously, panic overtaking through my veins. “I…um…no–I don’t even remember how I got it, to be honest.” My voice comes out shaky, slightly higher pitched. I wince at the horrid attempt of lying, not able to bring my eyes up to meet hers. 

“Oh…” She trails off. “--the boys have a ton of crazy scars and stories–especially Matt.” She explains. I sigh in relief. Thank god she didn’t push. I bring my dirt-ridden hand up to the edge of the sleeve, pulling it down with the tips of my nails. I cover the scar with the sleeve, bringing my hands back  down to the pot. 

I hear a knock at the door, grabbing my attention. I watch as the creaky door shutters open, Matt pouting from the otherside. “Can I have her back yet?” He asks. 

I laugh at his innocent tone, looking over to see Marylou rolling her eyes. “Kids, am I right?” She jokes, shaking her head disappointedly at me. She huffs heavily. “Fine, I guess. I want her back when I plant my tulips though, Matthew Bernard.” She warns. 

My lips part as I choke back a laugh. “Mom!” Matt whines, burying his face in his hands with embarrassment. Bernard. He stomps over, grabbing my hand and tugging me behind him. I whip around, waving to Marylou as she stands, shaking her head with a smile. 

Matt guides us down the path, turning on the dirt path that leads us to the lake. “What are we doing?” I ask. He nods to the right, a tree coming into a view. A large willow, green leaves sprouting, barely peeking out from the branches. 

“It’s starting to bloom, look.” He points. 

My eyes stare at the tree, admiring the rarity. I hadn’t been to many places, I had never even been outside of Massechusets. I never had much time to explore, either. 

I loved seeing nature, large tree trunks accompanied by bushy leaves at the park by my old house in the less scenic town over. I had never seen a tree with so much personality, the branches dancing with the wind. 

“I’ve never actually seen one of these in person.” I breathe out. Matt raises his eyebrows at me, dragging me closer to the colossal wood. He stops right in front of the branches, parting them carefully with his hands. He nods his head, gesturing for me to walk. 

I weave under the dry branches, stopping as I stand in the empty space between the branches and the trunk of the tree. It had felt like a shield, mimicking the way my hair would often hang like curtains around my face. 

I hear the rustle of branches, watching as Matt steps through. His hand squeezes back into mine. I hesitantly reach out, letting my fingertips graze the rough bark lightly. “I’m deathly afraid of getting splinters, but this,” I shake my head in disbelief. “--this is just mesmerizing.” I remark. 

“Deathly afraid of splinters?” He laughs. I whip around, meeting his eyes as I squint at him. 

“Elevators?” I banter. He holds his hand up defensively, making me laugh. 

“What else are you scared of?” He whispers. I feel his chest press against my back, his hand squeezing my own as his other rubs along the side of my arm. 

I laugh nervously. “Spiders, needles, any insect really…um…” I trail off, feeling his chuckles vibrate against my back. “Shut up.” I mutter. I feel his laugh grow more intensely, his lips breaking as the sounds reach my ears. 

“Why are you deathly scared of splinters? I don’t understand.” He laughs. I shrug my shoulders, a sadness washing over me as I feel myself detach. His laughs die down, his head peeking over my shoulder. His face is sympathetic. “I’m kidding–I mean, I’m scared of elevators.” He jokes. 

I let the smile crawl back up on my face. “Well, that’s rational–you could fall and plummet to your–sorry.” I say, watching his eyes widen with horror. I made it worse. I sigh, looking at the splintered bark in front of me with heavy shoulders. 

I feel his hand squeeze my own, bringing my attention back up to him. His eyes gleam down at me with sorrow written in his face. “Ya know,” He brushes the hair behind my neck, making my body tingle from his breath. “--I’ve always wanted to carve a heart into a tree with someone. Chris and Nick never would, they think it’s stupid. But,” His nose nuzzles on the rim of my ear, my body tensing from the sensation. “--maybe we could do it together sometime.” 

I crane my head up, looking up at him. His eyes meet mine with admiration. “I’d like that.” I blush. He gives me a small smile, leaning his head down to rest against the back of my own. 

“M’kay, ready to head back inside? I don’t want you to get too cold.” His hand returns, rubbing up and down my arm. I laugh at his remark. Cold? His body heat radiated onto me, warming me better than any jacket I had ever owned. 

“Sure.” I responded. His body heat dissipates as I hear the crunch of his shoes against the dirt. I turn around, watching as he opens the branches like a curtain. 

“Come on, princess.” He teases. I blush at the name, walking through the void. I feel his hand clasp around my wrist as I stand beneath his raised arm. I look up, watching his eyes hungrily gaze down at my lips. 

I smile, letting him drag my hand up to his chest. My palm lays flat on his chest, his hand enclosing on top of mine. I push my toes down, bringing my heels up as I lean onto him. I peck his lips swifty, backing up to see his eyes closed and his lips still semi-puckered. 

I laugh at his reaction, making his eyes snap open. His face is overcome with a proud joy, gleaming with admiration. I let my feet relax, but my foot twists as it lands on the uneven surface. I shriek, feeling myself stumble. 

Matt’s hand drops my own, his arm tugging me immediately back to his chest. He leans down, his breath fanning across my nose in the slightest. I let out whispered breaths. “Caught ya.” He remarks. I feel my smile return to my face as I flail my arm back to his chest. 

As soon as I move my arm, a rough sting is apparent on my forearm. The burning sensation pricks me, making me whimper in pain. Matt pulls my body up to his with his arm, guiding us out of the curtained-branches and to the field of grass. 

“Hey,” he reaches out, grabbing my arm from my grasp. I watch as my vision becomes blurry from tears. I gasp as he gently pulls my arm in between the two of us. A large thorn, embedded in his hoodie. His three-hundred dollar hoodie. 

My bottom lip quivers as the sight in front of me intensifies, sending fear and panic through every pore of my body. I ruined it. The slight stain of red becomes more apparent, seeping into the green fabric with high contrast. 

“I-I—I’m so so so sorry, Matt. I-” He shushes me, pulling me into his chest in a hug. One of his arms wrapped around me, caging me against him. I push back, only for his hand to enclose around my head with a firm grip. “Matt–”

“Shhh, don’t look.” His voice is comforting and gentle. His firm grip gets tighter as I attempt to push myself back. “Matt-” Is this it? Is this where his gentle touch disappears? 

I wince from the burning sensation, feeling yet another prick. I can’t help the tears from falling from my eyes, soaking onto his sweatshirt. “Shhhh…I got you, it’s gone, look.” His grip falls back down to my waist as he holds a bloodied-thorn in his hand. 

My eyes widen, immediately darting to the hoodie. I yank the sleeve up above the wound, letting the crimson paint down my arm, dripping slowly from the shallow wound. “Hey, you’re gonna get cold.” Matt states, yanking the hoodie back down. 

I gasp, watching a streak of red appear. “Matt! It’s gonna-” “I don’t care, it’s just a hoodie. Now, let’s get the first aid kit and take care of ya, yeah?” He states, pulling me by the waist. 

I feel my ears go hot from embarrassment. I’m fucking crying over a splinter. I should be profusely apologizing for destroying his things. 

I choke back my tears, clearing my throat. “Matt, I–,” the quiet shaking in my voice makes him turn his head, analyzing me. He supports my weight, walking quicker as he slides open the back door. “--I’m really sorry.” I state, letting it out in one breath. 

Matt shakes his head, placing his hands on my hips. I squeal, feeling my feet lift off the ground. He pushes me back, sitting me on the cold counter. I look up, willing the tears to crawl back inside. I hear a drawer open, metal clanking as I look over to see him holding a first aid box-kit. 

“I’m really sorry, Matt. I didn’t mean to-” The words get caught in my throat. He takes out an alcohol wipe, ripping it open with his teeth as his other hand rubs up and down my thigh. “It’s okay, really. I’m not upset in the slightest, okay?” I nod hesitantly at his words, watching as he reaches out with the alcohol pad. 

I scoot back on the counter, leaning my body weight away. It’s gonna hurt, I know it’s gonna hurt. Why do I have to be so weak when it comes to pain? 

“Hey,” His hand wraps around my thigh, keeping me in place. “”--it’ll hurt, but then it’s gonna feel better. I have to clean it.” 

It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt. 

“Here, come here.” He opens his arms. I fling myself into them, latching around his neck desperately. His hand grabs my arm, pulling it down and to the side. I feel the burning sting, whimpering from the pain as I attempt to keep my arm still for him. 

Please, don’t think I’m weak. 

I loosen my grip, feeling the cool air on the wound. I hear another rip, seeing as he places a bandaid over the red area. I look down in shame. Why do I have to be so weak?

“I’m sorry for crying and being a baby. I’m especially sorry for ruining your hoodie.” I run my clammy hand against the top of my thigh. His hand pushes my chin up, forcing my eyes to meet his. His gaze softened, a slight pout apparent on his lips. 

“Don’t. You don’t need to apologize for anything. It’s a piece of clothing–” 

“It was your favorite.” I retort. He shakes his head, letting out a sigh. 

“I can have a new favorite.” He remarks with a soft smile. I nod, trying to blink back the tears. “--if you need to cry–cry, it’s okay.” He soothes. I shake my head, looking up towards the ceiling. 

“I don’t want to cry.” I let out. My body betrays me, a stream of hot tears running down and into my scalp. Matt wipes the tears gently with the sleeve of his sweater. “Why not? It’s just me.” He points out. I wipe under my eyes with my fingers. “I don’t want you to think I’m weak.” I laugh out dryly. 

I let my eyes shift to his. He shakes his head, a smile tugging on his lips. “I don’t think you’re weak.” He breathes out. “You don’t?” I interrogate. He shakes his head, “Elevators aren’t even in my top five fears and I almost had a panic attack. If anything, I think you’re strong.”

He brushes the hair back as I look into his eyes. The fear started subsiding as a comforting wave of relief washed over me. “You okay?” I nod my head as he places his hands on my hips. I let him help me off the counter, but he doesn’t set me on the floor. 

My legs wrap around him as he starts walking to his room. “What are you doing?” I ask, grappling onto his neck. His shoulders shrug from beneath my arms. “Distracting you, returning the favor.” He says. He shuts his room door closed with his foot.

I cling onto him, feeling his body crouch and lay on the bed. I go to sit up, maneuver myself off of him, but he pulls me closer. “Wanna watch a dumb show again?” I smile, nodding as he grabs his phone out. He props it against his cologne bottle, pressing play on ‘Too Hot To Handle.’ 

His hand comes back, cradling my head to his chest as I listen to the thumps of his heartbeat. 

_

I had woken up to screaming, Chris’s voice echoing in the house. I felt Matt stir from beneath me, pulling me closer as his lips pressed against my head. Soft snores escaped his parted lips, making my heart flutter from the sound. 

I giggle, pushing myself up and off of Matt’s chest. Matt huffs, his hand curling around my entire head, suctioning to my ear. “Ignore them, ‘m sorry.” I laugh at his lazy words, squirming out of his grip. I watch as his eyes squint open, his hands rubbing his face. “Come back.” He voices. 

I lean over him, feeling his arms wrap around my waist as I reach for my phone on his nightstand. I grab the device, pulling myself back. Matt pulls me down, crushing my nose against his chest. “Ow.” I say. His eyes darted open, his face grimacing as I held my nose. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes, his hands untangling from my waist. I move freely, sitting up against his head board. 

6:00 P.M. 

“I need to leave for babysitting soon. I have to walk home and then to Mrs. Evans house.” I say. Matt groans, flipping on his stomach and letting his arm fall over my lap. I laugh, lifting the limb and standing up. Matt’s head pops out from the pillow, his hair aloof. I smile at the sight, watching as he climbs out of bed. 

He walks over to his closest, pulling out a knit, buttoned, purple sweater. He hands it over to me as I grab the fabric hesitantly. “I’m going home, I don’t–” He holds up a hand, “It’s for my own selfish reasons, okay?” I laugh at his bluntness, nodding my head. 

“Can you just cover your eyes or something? I really do need to leave. I probably needed to leave a bit ago, honestly.” I remark. His hands cover his face as he lets his neck drop, facing the ground. I pull off the green hoodie, sighing at the red stain. I let the soft, knit sweater envelope around me. 

It’s so soft. “Oh my god, this is so soft.” I voice. I look down at the fabric that pools over the pajama pants I had yet to change out of. My dry skin admires the smooth fabric, my arms moving without an uncomfortable scratching feeling as I fold the green hoodie. 

Matt reaches out, grabbing the sweatshirt and throwing it onto the opposite side of the bed. “Don’t worry about it. Want some sweats–actually, don’t answer that. I’m giving you sweats.” I laugh at his statement. He pulls a pair of clean sweats down, handing them to me. 

I look at him knowingly. “Oh, yeah.” He covers his face, looking towards the ground. I let the pajamas fall off my legs, pulling on the sweats and tying the drawstring tightly, securing them on my hips to the best of my abilities. The fabric pools at the ground beneath my feet. 

“Uh, Matt?” He unveils his face, looking in the direction of my pointed finger. “I don’t think they–” I stop as he kneels to the floor. His hands reach out, folding the fabric until it comes to my ankle. He does the same to the other side, the neat folds not budging as I wiggle my foot in the air. 

“Thank you,” I said. He nods his head, holding out his hand for me. I place my hand in his, allowing him to guide me to the front door. He slips on his own shoes as I do the same. I look around, the room barren of a single person. “Can you tell your mom I said bye?” 

“Mhm, now let’s go.” I tilt my head at him as he grabs his keys. “Huh? I have to babysit—I’m walking home and then to the place.” He shakes his head. “No–I’m driving you home and then I’m driving you to whatever the address is for the house you’re babysitting at.” He pulls the coat from the coat rack. “--and put this on, you’ll be cold.’’ He pulls out my arm, sliding it in the arms of the coat and doing the same on the other side. 

He steps in front of me, his hands bringing the zipper of the jacket all the way below my chin. “Matt, you don’t need to–” His intense stare makes my words falter. “I’m not letting you walk, let’s go.” He pulls me by the hand out the door and to his car. 

I pull down the zipper, the warmth already becoming overbearing. Matt opens the car door for me as I sit in the passenger seat. He grabs the seatbelt, leaning over me and clicking it in. His eyes fall below my face, his hands reaching out and pulling the zipper. I feel the cold metal brush against my chin as he pulls away, shutting the door softly. 

I laugh quietly to myself, hearing his door open and shut. He turns the heat on, starting to drive. I pull down the zipper. I gasp, feeling the car come to a semi-abrupt stop. “What are you doing! You’re gonna get cold.” Matt mutters, reaching for the zipper. 

I push his hand away. “Matt,” I put his hand on the center console. “I’m sweating, okay? I’m gonna faint from heat exhaustion at this rate.” I state. His lips purse as he sways his head. “Okay.” He says softly, pulling off the brake. 

I watch as he reaches out, turning the AC down. I open up the coat, my fingers fiddling with the hem of the soft sweater. 

_

“Can I have a fourth wish, genie?” He asks. I look over, watching his hands turn the wheel. “Please.” He adds. 

I laugh at the question. “Sure, what’s your wish?” I urge. He pulls onto my street, my house visible from the few streetlights. He pulls over in front of my house, parking the car. He takes the keys out of the ignition, looking over at me. 

“Let me come in?” His eyes wander up. I look back, seeing the wooden house that seems almost abandoned. I sigh, looking back at him as his innocent smile plastered across his face. “Please.” He repeats. I suck in my bottom lip. 

Should I? Is my dad even here? 

“Pleaseeee. I just wanna see your room–plus, parents love me! I’m so cute, look!” He cheeses hard at me, making my giggle ring through the car. “That’s a yes, right? Great, come on!” He doesn’t give me time to respond as he gets out of the car, practically sprinting over to open my door. 

He pulls me up, dragging me to the front door as I pull out my keys. “Wait just one second, okay?” He nods, his arms swinging by his sides impatiently. I crack the door open, seeing nothing but darkness. I flick on the flights, seeing a barren living room. I listen for any sounds, hearing nothing but the wind pushing against the windows. 

I look back at him, nodding for him to follow. I shut the door behind us. “I just need to grab a couple things from my room, my dad might be in his room though–just,” I stop him at the bottom of the stairs. “--wait here for a minute.” He nods. 

I take a deep breath, the stairs creaking beneath my feet as I place one foot in front of the other. Reaching the top, I knock on his door. Silence meets me, but I don’t trust it. I slowly open the door, wincing at a screech of the rusted metal door hinges. 

I peek my head through the door, seeing him. He looks over at me blankly, a cigarette between his lips as he sits on the window sill. “What do you want? He grumbles. I feel my stomach churn at the sight of smoke falling from his lips. I bite back my tongue, shaking my head as I close the door with a soft thud. 

I look down at Matt, motioning for him to follow with my pointer finger pressed against my lips. He nods, walking up the steps quietly. I wait for him to reach the top of the stairs, swallow thickly as I look back at his door. 

I sigh, letting my shoulders sink with defeat. I walk towards my room, opening the door and shutting it as he walks through. I feel a boulder of embarrassment sink in my gut. I watch as his steps falter, scared to move as he analyzes the room. 

The twin mattress is on a cheap, metal frame in the center of the room. A ratted blanket is covering the mattress, the baby blue knitted blanket laying at the top by the singular pillow that lays flat and deflated. 

My anxiety shoots through my body as I watch him turn around. His eyebrows furrow before his lips tug into a slight smile. “Ya know,” he walks over closer to me. “--a stuffed animal would really make this feel more home-y.” He says. 

I tilt my head, holding back a smile. “Shut up.” I mumble, shoving past him and into the sliding closet. I pull out jeans, pulling down a bin full of my underwear. I shuffle around, pulling clothing out and into my hands. 

I hear Matt clear his throat, looking up to see him scratching the back of his neck nervously. He sucks in his lips between his teeth, avoiding my eyes. “You should, um…” I set the clothes down, crossing my arms over my chest. I raise an eyebrow at him as he meets my gaze. “You should bring some clothes over, just in case we wanna have more sleepovers unexpectedly, ya know?” He finishes. 

I hold back a laugh, shaking my head. I grab more underwear and bras out of the bin, placing them in my backpack. “Tired of me stealing all of yours?” I tease. 

“Nope, but I don’t exactly have women's underwear.” He holds up his hands in defense. My cheeks burn as I lick over my teeth. 

“Really?” I ask. My eyes flicker to his, watching as his eyes squint at me. “--I would’ve thought you had tons!” I remark sarcastically. He brings his hand up, smoothing over his forehead. 

“I–” His words are cut off by a pounding on the door. My eyes widen with fear, my fists clenching to my stomach. The door swings open a crack, my dad peeping his head in. “Listen, I’m sorry for–who is this?” He looks over to Matt, opening the door further. 

Matt gives a subtle wave, scratching at the back of his neck shyly. “I’m Matt, nice to meet you.” My dads eyes squint at him, cocking his head to the side. 

“Do I know you?” He asks. Matt shakes his head, “Nope, we just go to school together–I was gonna drive her to her babysitting job.” He answers. My dad hesitantly nods his head, looking back over at me. “Can I talk to you alone for a minute?” He asks, his eyes staring down at me. 

I look back at Matt, giving him a small smile before walking out the open door. I hear my dad close it, dragging me down the hallway gently by my shoulder. “Who is that boy?” He interrogates. I shrug, “Matt–he’s a friend of mine, that’s all.” I answer. He furrowed his eyebrows, raising them as he rubbed his creased forehead. 

“Okay, just–no having sex, okay?” 

“Dad!” I whisper-shout. My eyes bulge out of my head as a heat of embarrassment and anger clouds my body. The audacity. “I can take care of myself, remember?” I spit. He moves his eyes, staring at the wall behind me with a sullen look on his face. 

“I…” he huffs. “--’m sorry, okay? I’m trying, I’m really fucking trying. I just–it’s really hard when you look more like her everyday. It hurts. I swear, I only bought cigs to curb the craving, okay? I…I never want to hurt you, not again.” He grabs out, caressing my forearm with his bottom lip pouted. 

My eyes swell with tears. Relief makes my breath fall with my shoulders. I look like her. Is that a blessing or a curse? “I…” I suck in a breath. “--I’ll do better with staying out of your business.” I say. He mumbles gratitude under his breath, patting my shoulder. 

“Okay, get to your babysitting whatnot. Are you coming home tonight?” He asks. I shrug, watching as he nods softly, walking in his own bedroom and closing the door. I sigh deeply, letting my feet float back to my room. 

I open the door, watching as Matt sits on my bed. His hand is caressing over the baby blue blanket with a soft face. “Ready to go?” He asks. I nod my head. 

I let my hand reach out. He stands up, walking over and placing his hand in mine. I smile at the comforting touch. He grabs my backpack from the floor, tossing it on his shoulder. I step out, leading us back down and out the door. 

_

I had put the address into his phone, holding it up for him to see the directions. Once he had parked on the side of the street, he sprinted out and opened my door for me. I grab his hand, giggling as he pulls me out of the car. 

My heart feels warm, my chest feels light, everything seems to be getting better. It’s not gonna last though, is it?

I shake off the thought as he walks me to the door. “Thank you for driving me. Really, you didn’t have to.” I say. He shrugs his shoulders, pulling me into his side. Before he can say anything, the front door swings open, revealing Mrs. Evans and her husband. 

“Hello! Oh–hi, Matt!” Mrs. Evans greets. Her husband grumbles something about getting the car from the garage, walking past us with a friendly smile. She grabs a purse, her sweater and jeans contrasting with her typical attire at school. She fixes her earring before clasping her hands together. “Will Hailey be having another buddy to hang out with, hm?” She questions. 

I watch as little hands grab at Mrs. Evans side, a small girl peeping her head around. Her brown, curly hair is done up in two pigtails with beads. Her brown skin, like most kids, looks buttery-soft. Her doe eyes look like honey from the porch light gleaming down on her. “I like your hair.” I compliment. The little girl blushes, hiding her face behind Mrs. Evans legs. 

“I get two friends, mom?!” Hailey exclaims, tugging on Mrs. Evans sweater. I let out an awkward laugh. “Well, he’s not staying, it’s just me.” I explain. Hailey’s smile falters, her eyes landing on Matt. 

“You don’t wanna be my friend?” Her eyes are teary as Matt immediately shakes his head. “No–I’d love to be your friend…” His eyes darted to mine with panic. “He’s just busy–” Hailey cuts me off, tugging Matt’s hand inside. 

Mrs. Evans laughs, holding her purse tightly as she rummages through the bag quickly. “The envelope on the counter is for you. I think I have everything,” she looks over, headlights beaming from behind me. “Okay, our reservation is in like ten minutes and it’s a fifteen minute drive. We’ll be back in around two hours-ish?” She walks off. “Just text if you need anything! Matt’s welcome to stay with you!” She winks before shutting the car door. 

I bite back a smile as I wave, walking into the house and shutting the door. I look up, my eyes bulging and my hand slapping over my mouth. I attempt to hold back the giggles, seeing Matt with wide-eyes sitting on the couch, Hailey decorating his hair with colorful beads and bows. 

“Do I look pretty?” He nervously asks. I nod, sitting on the couch next to him. “Very.” I answer. “You don’t, you don’t have to stay.” I point out. He shakes his head, “I want to, well–if that’s okay with you.” I nod my head, leaning my head on his shoulder as Hailey hums a song while fiddling with the bows in his hair above us. 

@sturniolosmind @freshloveforthefit @gnxosblog @sturnreblog @milasturniolo @mattscokewhore @melanch0lybby @stars4matt @samandcolbyfan22 @ruedowney @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @greatooglymooglyyy

@txssvx @junnniiieee07 @sturnstvs @sturnioloblogs @sunsetsturniolos @flowerxbunnie @rootbeerworshiper @sturniolohoe @mayhem-7-blog @braindead4l @lovergirl4387 @hearts4chriss @1horrormoviewhore1

@mattslolita @hearts4chris @nicksmainbitch @imfromthediningtable @st7rnioioss @sturniololol @nedsmarie44 @tomskookie @itssophiasstuff @chrissystur @chrisstankyleg @cloudykitten2004

@abruuu01 @riasturns @strnilolo @chrissystur @lrs-jenkinson @yourfavoritefangirl @stonermattsgf @x3rox @youaremyfiveever @cookiehaos @iloveneilperry @lullvu @chrattstromboli @sstvrnioloo @seahorsie11

@sturnzsblog @sturnikitty @sturniol0s @bunny-cotton @stingerayyy2 @sturnioloa @stasiesturn @imwetforyourmom @matty-bear @bellasfavbisexual @pinklittleflower @mattsaq @realuvrrr @sofiaannaleise

[7s3ven]

THE IDEA OF US. theodore nott

( master list )

IN WHICH… the saddest thing in a relationship is knowing you met the wrong person at the wrong time yet you still can’t let them go.

“She’ll be the best you ever had if you let her. I know it’s for the better.”

A/N : This took me at least a week to right, omg

Warnings : toxic relationship, swearing, ed (eating d1sorder) mentioned, mental illness, mentions of sex, dirty jokes, making out, y/n and theo are both bitches, vulgar language, angst

—

Y/N L/N and Theodore Nott had been good friends for years. And their families had known each other for much longer. Since childhood, the two had been attached at the hip and nothing changed when they were accepted into Hogwarts.

“Y/N.” Theo called out, jogging to catch up with the girl. She turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow.

“No, you can’t copy my answers, Theo. I told you to do the homework yourself.”

Theo sheepishly smiled. The day he was supposed to be studying, he was at a party. Y/N was there too, though she had already completed all her assignments and could drink without a care. Y/N had always been the better at academics out of the two.

“Change of topic, are you going to the Malfoy ball?” Theo asked. Y/N almost scoffed. She had no choice and neither did he. If their parents were going, they had to as well.

“Duh. What’s the color of your suit?”

“Dark blue. Apparently I look better in navy according to my mother.”

“Debatable.” Y/N hummed.

“Your dress?”

“Also dark blue. Matching. Again.” Y/N sarcastically smiled.

They seemed to coincidentally match for every important event; this was the fifth time. Y/N wasn’t sure if it was accidental anymore considering their mothers always chose their clothes for these events.

Theo chuckled, “I think our parents are up to something.”

“You just noticed?”

“Well, sorry I don’t pay that much attention to people like you.”

“Yeah, you’re too busy undressing girls with your eyes to notice.”

“The only girl I’m undressing is you and I don’t need my eyes for it. My hands can do that for me.” Theo smugly smirked while Y/N’s face scrunched up in disgust. She pushed him, causing the brunette to crash into a nearby stone wall. He winced, which amused Y/N.

“Think twice before you try and get me in bed, Nott.”

Theodore Nott was a handsome fellow with his slightly curled hair, messy tie, and the smell of cigarettes blending in with his strong cologne. As embarrassing as it was to admit, Y/N wasn’t opposed to the idea of kissing him. He was attractive after all but still her best friend. It was never a good idea to date someone you saw every day because once you broke up, it became too awkward to bear.

That wasn’t the only reason. The main reason were Theo’s eyes. His gaze was constantly bored and dead, even when he was around beautiful girls. He never showed emotion apart from the smug smirk Y/N liked to wipe off his face. If she dated him, would he still he bored? Showing appreciation was never his strong point.

Theo slung his arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “I was thinking that since you don’t like potions and I don’t either, we could take a little detour. Sneak in a cig or two. Maybe even some forbidden romance.”

For two years, Theo had been playfully flirting with Y/N. Nobody batted an eye, already assuming that the pair had something going on. Y/N could still remember the first terrible pickup line Theo had used on her after the Christmas break.

Y/N was walking down the steps that led to the girls’ dorms. She adjusted her tie so it wasn’t choking her to death. Her blouse and skirt were a size too small because she, or rather her parents, had forgotten to order a new uniform.

She spotted her usual friend group consisting of the highest-ranking Slytherins all perched upon the couches next to the fireplace. As she waltzed towards them, Theo lifted his head and for a moment, Y/N swore there was a flash of emotion before it disappeared.

“Matt, have you seen Pansy? She wasn’t in the dorm when I woke up.” Y/N placed a hand on Matteo’s shoulder like she always did. He turned to look at her, startled.

“Y/N, I didn’t even recognise you.”

“Seriously, Matt?”

“What? You’ve changed a lot!”

“My boobs just got bigger.”

Matteo’s eyes flickered down before he nodded. “Yeah, I can see that.”

Theo leaned over to smack Matteo’s head. “Stop staring at her chest, you idiot.” As always, he came to Y/N’s rescue, even when she didn’t exactly need it.

“Matteo was right, though.” Theo piped up as he walked Y/N to class. “You have changed.” He heard her laugh. “I’m serious. It’s the way you carry yourself, not just your face.”

Theo was her best friend but he had never been so… gentle with her. He fanned his face with his hand, loudly exhaling. “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

It took Y/N a moment to realise what he was implying. She stared at him, unamused. “Never talk to me again.”

“I’ll take you up on that cigarette offer.” Y/N uttered, “But not the romance. Stay six meters away from me.”

That’s how Y/N and Theo ended up in the latter’s room, sharing one of Matteo’s cigarettes and laughing.

“Okay, but seriously. How many cloaks do you think Snape has in his wardrobe.” Y/N asked as she took the thin blunt from Theo.

He blew out a cloud of smoke. “He changes? I thought he lived in one.” An amused grin spread across the Slytherin’s face. “How many students do you think have accidentally patted Mcgonagall thinking she was a normal cat?”

“Plenty, I’m sure.” Y/N turned her head, almost jolting when her nose brushed Theo’s. “Ew, why are you so close?” She said it teasingly, grinning at her friend who was strangely silent.

“Sorry.” He whispered.

In all honesty, Theo wasn’t having much luck containing the thought of kissing Y/N either. The first few years of school were purely platonic but once everybody started to grow up, Theo found himself in an unusual predicament; he had feelings for his best friend.

“If you want to kiss me, you could’ve just said so.” It was another playful jab at Theo but with all the smoke rushing to his head, he took it literally. Y/N didn’t expect him to grab her by the chin, forcefully pushing his lips against hers like he had been starved of kissing, which she knew wasn’t true. She had seen Theo kissing a brunette girl at a party weeks ago. Yet he hadn’t kissed her with such passion.

Theo was the first to pull away, his chest heaving up and down. Y/N remained still. She parted her lips to say something but no word rolled off her tongue.

“Theo.” She finally said. “What was that?”

“I thought you were being serious.” He was still unbearably close, his strong cologne washing over Y/N and clouding her senses. “We don’t have to talk about it… but I needed it. Let me have this, Y/N.”

She had never heard Theo beg. It sparked a fire of warmth in her chest. “Ask nicely.” She muttered. Theo paused for a short moment before he thickly swallowed.

“Please.”

The moment the word slipped past his lips in such a delicate way, Y/N leaned forward. Theo tilted his head back as their lips met once more, hands clumsily trailing over each other’s bodies and holding their breaths to make the kiss last longer.

Theo felt ashamed that he was kissing his friend but in the moment, that was the last thing on his mind. All he could focus on was Y/N. She was practically on top of him, easily taking control while he was reduced to putty.

Y/N with her perfect hair and untainted uniform.

Y/N with her chuckles of amusement at Theo’s reactions.

She was all that occupied his mind. He repeated her name in his head like a mantra, never stopping until they were wrapped and tangled in his bed sheets.

They never spoke of that particular day but a new spark had been born; one that consumed both their lives. Everybody noticed the not-so-secretive looks Theo sent Y/N and the small shared smiles in between classes. Like old times, Theo never left Y/N’s side. He paid no attention to other girls, not when his arm was wrapped around Y/N as she laughed with Pansy and made fun of Matteo. And despite the pair silently vowing the incident where they ended up in Theo’s bed together would not occur a second time, it always happened again.

The holidays finally arrived and the pinochle event of the wizarding world was finally drawing in; the Malfoy ball.

“Where’s Y/N?” Pansy was the last of the group to arrive at the manor, holding a bag that contained her dress and her extensive collection of makeup.

“Coming later.” Theo said, running a hand through his hair.

The whole group had decided to meet at the Malfoy Manor to get ready. Everybody but Y/N. This wasn’t unusual behaviour for her; she always stated how she worked better alone. Theo almost laughed at the memory of how she’d always refuse to do group work.

“How do you know that?” Draco piped up.

Theo casually shrugged as if he hadn’t spent two hours with Y/N. “I saw her on my way. She’ll probably arrive when the event starts.”

Pansy pouted. “I wanted her to help me with my dress.”

“I’ll help.” Draco said a little too quickly. Matteo and Lorenzo snickered together, playing kicking kissing faces at the platinum blond.

“Oh, shut up you morons.” Draco hissed as he followed Pansy to the bathroom to help her. As soon as he was gone, Lorenzo and Matteo chose Theo as their new victim.

“So, I couldn’t help but notice a little romance thing going on between you and a certain H/C-nette.” Matteo coolly uttered, resting an arm on Theo’s shoulder.

Lorenzo subtly rolled his eyes. “Who hasn’t noticed? It’s quite obvious.”

“There’s nothing going on between us.” Theo muttered, adjusting his tie.

“Yeah. That bracelet on your arm says otherwise.” Matteo fired back. Theo almost started cursing at him. He had forgotten how he jokingly slid on one of Y/N’s bracelets. To make matters worse, not only were her initials carved into the silver but so was her full name.

“Coincidence.” Theo grumbled, quickly pocketing the bracelet.

“What about you two always sneaking off? You love staying at parties until the end but lately, you’ve been disappearing. Into rooms. With you-know-who.” Lorenzo was ganging up on Theo as well, much to his annoyance.

“I’m not fucking Matteo’s dad.” Theo retorted.

“When I said you-know-who, I meant Y/N!”

“I know! It was a joke, Enzo!” Theo huffed, his gaze darting back to the large mirror in front of him.

“We hear you, by the way.” Matteo whispered. “The walls are thin and we have to hang out in Blaise’s dorm when the door is closed because we know what’s happening.”

“Oh, please. Please. Yes, right there.” Lorenzo mocked, copying the noises he had heard mere days ago. Theo’s cheeks flushed red.

“That’s not me.” He was already losing to Matteo and Lorenzo’s little game but he stood firm.

“Hm. Right.” Matteo didn’t believe his friend’s words for one second. “Well, I better get dressed. Guests will be arriving soon. Can’t wait to see your little principessa or whatever you call her in bed.” He walked off, cackling like a hyena. Only Lorenzo was left.

“Just confess to her, dude. She probably feels the same way.” Lorenzo matted Theo’s back before he followed after Matteo, needing to get dressed as well.

Theo found himself alone in the glittering ballroom, still waiting for his late companions. He swirled the champagne around in his glass in boredom, almost wanting to spill it on someone to watch their reaction.

“All by yourself, Nott?”

Theo didn’t waste any time in spinning around. “Y/N.” He stated. She was staring up at him, focused on his eyes like she always was. Sometimes Theo wondered if he could see the slight joy in his gaze whenever she was around.

“Where are the others?” She questioned.

“I’m not sure. Right now, it’s just me.”

Y/N smiled. “That’s good because I was looking forward to spending more time with you.” As if they didn’t spend enough time together as they were.

“Isn’t it funny how our mothers dressed us up in not only the same color, but the same shade, as well?” Theo grinned. “Same fabric too. Are they trying to tell us something?”

“What? That we should date?”

Theo deeply hummed. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” He placed his glass on a nearby table, his attention focused solely on Y/N. “The party’s just started so let’s find a way to pass the time.”

Y/N grasped his tie, pulling him forward. “You’re on, Nott.”

They found themselves in a dark and crowded room filled with old antiques. Theo harshly kissed Y/N, tightly gripping her waist. In the midst of the heated moment, three words that Y/N dreaded accidentally slipped past her lips.

“I love you.” She froze, realising what she had said out of impulse.

“That’s too bad.” Theo joked but his words still made her heart sink and she felt numb in the actions that followed their kisses.

Nobody was shocked when they returned to Hogwarts to find that Y/N, who never liked anyone, and Theo, who only engaged in casual relationships, were dating. It was expected because they hardly spent any time apart, which made room for romantic feelings.

Theo knocked on Y/N’s dorm door. Somehow, he had found a way past the charm placed on the stairs. “Hey, the Ravenclaws are having a party. Wanna go? The whole gang is going.” He stepped into her room that she shared with Pansy and two other Slytherin girls.

Y/N was sitting on a desk pushed into the corner next to a window, overlooking the scenery. “Don’t feel like it.” She muttered, busy writing an essay for who knows what. Theo faltered.

“Are you sure? Otherwise I’ll go with Mel.”

Y/N paused and she slowly glanced over her shoulder. “Mel?” She raised her eyebrows in a condescending way. “Who’s that?”

“One of Pansy’s friends but she’s cool. She’s the one who invited us anyway.”

“Okay.” Y/N turned back to her work without uttering another word, leaving Theo frustrated.

“Why are you mad?” He questioned, taking a step forward.

“I’m not.” The monotone sound of Y/N’s voice made it clear that she was. “You can go to the party, I don’t care.”

“I wasn’t asking for your permission.”

“And I wasn’t asking you to bring up another girl.”

Theo clenched his jaw. Y/N had been in a jealous state for over a week. Every time Theo simply accidentally glanced at another girl, she grew mad.

He spun Y/N’s chair around, firmly placing his hands on her shoulders so she couldn’t shove him away. He could smell her expensive body lotion and perfume as it washed over him. “What the fuck is going on with you?” He seethed, “You’ve been like this all week. I don’t fucking know what you want, Y/N.”

“I want you to stop paying attention to other girls. Easy.” She shrugged.

“Maybe I wouldn’t need to look at other girls if you were more laid-back.” The biting words rolled off Theo’s tongue before he could stop them. Annoyance clouded his brain but he knew he’d come to regret it when he saw that glint of anger in Y/N’s eyes.

“I’m asking for the bare minimum, Theo.”

He didn’t even know what she was asking at this point.

Y/N clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes like she always did. “Go to the party, see if I care. Maybe Mel is more laidback than me.”

With a strong push, Y/N shoved Theo back. She walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. Theo stood in the same spot for a moment, trying to register what had happened. He heard the faint sound of the bath water running; Y/N always had relaxing baths when she was stressed.

“Come to the party if you change your mind.” Theo called out in a futile attempt to make amends. All he got in reply was a loud hum.

Theo wasn’t too sure when their relationship went downhill. It was great for a while in the honeymoon phase until the arguments started.

Theo would scream at Y/N for not eating so she could use that time to study until her nose bled and she passed out from exhaustion.

Y/N would accuse Theo of cheating because he spent about as much time with other girls as he did with Y/N and his friends. It wasn’t his fault he was a heartthrob.

After every fight, they made peace and promised not to let their mistakes happen again. But they always did because history repeats itself until you learn from it. Perhaps Theo and Y/N were like two puzzle pieces that didn’t exactly match but you forced them to anyway.

“Theo.” Mel’s hand brushed his shoulder as she handed him a dark bottle of beer. “What’s on your mind?”

Mel smelled like roses and sweet strawberries while Y/N’s perfume was always addictive and deep. They were complete opposites but Theo had always preferred Y/N’s.

“Y/N.” Theo grumbled, taking a gulp from the bottle.

“She’s always causing problems.” It was not Mel’s place to say such a thing but she wasn’t wrong.

“I don’t know. She’s been so paranoid and it’s just rubbing me the wrong way. She gets mad at me every five minutes, even for shit I don’t do. She’ll blame Matteo’s tricks on me.”

Mel shifted closer to Theo, their hands accidentally brushing. She smiled. “You’ve told me about all this before. Why don’t you just break up?”

Theo almost wanted to laugh. Him? Break up with Y/N? She was a L/N, a prestigious family that stood above everybody else. He’d need to have a death wish to leave her. The only way he could get out unscathed was if Y/N broke up with him or if it was mutual.

Mel’s finger trailed up his thigh and despite Theo giving her a look to stop, he didn’t grasp her wrist.

His stomach sank in dread as someone behind him cleared their throat. “Is “one of Pansy’s friends” now code for a new fuck buddy?” Y/N leaned over, her warm breath hitting Theo’s neck. He could feel the anger radiating off her. “Nice one, Nott. You almost had me convinced you’d settled down.”

Theo was up in a heartbeat, practically pushing Mel away from him. He raced after Y/N, who had already exited the Ravenclaw common room. She was now quickly pacing through the dimly lit corridors, no particular location in mind.

“Y/N! Wait up!” Theo shouted, his voice echoing. He was expecting Y/N to speed up but instead, she spun around and grabbed him by the collar.

“What were you doing with her, huh?” Y/N hissed, “Just because you’ve finally tied me down doesn’t mean you can go and not put effort into this relationship!”

“I was only talking to her!”

“Well, it didn’t look purely platonic! Her hand was on your thigh and you didn’t even stop her!”

“That’s just the way girls are with me! What am I supposed to do, huh? You can’t ban me from talking to other people!”

Y/N shoved Theo, “You are so frustrating! You never take anything seriously!”

“And you take everything too literally. I was just talking to her! Nothing else!”

“She looked like she wanted to fucking kiss you! And she was probably going to!”

“Everybody wants to kiss me! Where’s the problem in that, huh?! You kiss me!”

“The problem is you have a fucking girlfriend!”

“You’re the one always talking to other guys like some…” Theo spluttered, tripping over his own words in search of a retort. “Some sort of slut!” As always, he immediately regretted his words. Y/N’s face morphed into a look of fury.

“I have been loyal from day one!” She screeched, “The thought of cheating has never crossed my mind so don’t you dare call me a slut when you know the only person here willing to cheat would be you!”

Y/N and Theo stared at each other, panting heavily. “Fuck you.” Theo whispered.

“Why don’t you go back to the party and fuck Mel instead, huh?” Y/N wittily snapped back. The last of Theo’s calmness finally broke and he grabbed Y/N by the shoulder, shoving her into an empty classroom and locking the door behind him.

“Mel is only a friend. She’s not my girlfriend, you are. I have never thought of cheating either and the fact you accuse me of it is preposterous.”

“Using big words now, are you?” Even in a locked room with someone who could easily throw her out the window, Y/N was making annoyingly smart remarks.

Theo spoke again, only it wasn’t in English. He angrily spoke in full Italian, yelling at her. Y/N had learnt a few words for his sake but she found it hard to keep up.

The fast words slipped past Theo’s lips and he paused, waiting for Y/N to answer as if she actually understood him. She awkwardly smiled. “Uh… Sì?”

“At least you know that word. Mel doesn’t know any Italian so who’s the better one between you two, huh? I’ll give you a hint. I like girls who attempt to learn my language.”

“So get Mel to learn it.”

“I love you, not her.” Theo insisted.

“It’s too late for that.”

Theo let out a quiet sigh as Y/N unlocked the door. She paused, waiting for him to call out for her again. He didn’t.

“Have fun.” She grumbled.

Theo ran his tongue over his teeth before he grabbed Y/N’s shoulder. “Every time we argue, we don’t try to resolve it. So we’re going to work it out right here, right now.”

“Don’t you have a girl to get back to?” Y/N sneered.

“See, that’s your problem. You’re insecure.”

Y/N scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. She wasn’t insecure; she was far from it. She was the most confident girl in the year.

“You get paranoid every time I talk to a girl. You’re controlling and you’re always accusing me of shit I would never do.”

“You cheated on your first girlfriend.” Y/N piped up, making Theo freeze. “What? You didn’t think I’d find out? Once a cheater, always a cheater, Nott.”

“So why’d you date me, huh?”

“You aren’t even going to defend yourself? I thought you were different because you were my friend. I thought you finally grew up but I don’t think you have. My problem is paranoia, yours is cheating. And don’t get me fucking started on the drinking and smoking.”

Theo clenched his jaw. “You wanna play that game, prissy princess? Okay. You have more than one problem. In fact, you have too many to count. You’re fucked in the head, narcissistic, you can’t fucking eat properly, and you think everybody likes you when in reality, we’re all waiting for your downfall. You aren’t as popular as you think. And the damn studying. You study so much that you get sick! Physically and mentally sick! You’re just setting yourself up for failure!”

“I warned you.” Y/N whispered, harshly poking Theo’s chest. “I warned you about me! I warned you about the mental issues, the eating disorders, the problems that will start showing! And like everybody else, you said “it’s fine, I’ll be able to handle it”. Then like everybody else, you want to back away the moment I show negative signs! Do you think I like being like this? Depressed, anxious, paranoid, starving, and barely able to eat?! Do you think I fucking like going to therapy?!”

“You may as well go to more sessions because you aren’t getting any better.”

“You’re an ass, Nott.”

“And you’re a bitch.”

“Did we resolve the issue like you wanted? Because if so, I’d like to return to my dorm so I can watch a movie with a love interest who isn’t a complete jerk and only thinks with his dick.” As always, Y/N was the first to storm off.

“You love my dick!” Theo shouted after her.

“Fuck you!” She pointed the middle finger at him without turning out.

Theo shoved his hands into his deep pockets, clicking his tongue. “Fuck.” He ran a hand through his hair, hoping it would fix his pounding headache. “I need a cigarette.”

Theo didn’t attend his classes the next day. And, by the looks of it and the remarks from Pansy, neither did Y/N. He stumbled across her in the astronomy tower, smoking one of her reserved cigarettes.

“You beat me to my spot.” Theo grunted, cautiously taking a seat beside Y/N. She didn’t shove him away. She only slowly blinked and nodded.

“You should go to potions.” She muttered, smoke seeping past her teeth.

They were both numb from their previous argument, too tired to fight again. Theo had stayed up all night, replaying Y/N’s words in his head and scolding himself. Y/N wasn’t any better. Pansy slipped her some vodka from the party and the events that followed after were hazed history.

“How’s Mel?” Y/N couldn’t stop herself from being snarky. She heard Theo scoff.

“Fuck, you can’t stop bringing her up for even five minutes?”

There were no apologies in their relationship. Perhaps they learn it from their parents who, every time they’d argue, would gift them with lavish gifts instead of saying sorry.

“Why should I? You can’t stop calling me a slut.”

“It was one time.”

An awkward silence settled between the pair before Theo drew in a heavy breath.

“I love you…” He muttered. Y/N thickly swallowed, blowing out another mouthful of smoke.

“If you loved me, we wouldn’t be doing this. We wouldn’t be going back and forth, continuously fighting and trying to one up each other. We wouldn’t be trying so hard to make this work when we know it’s going to fail.”

A pit settled in Theo’s stomach. “Are you… breaking up with me?” The sadness in Y/N’s eyes made it apparent.

“Face it, Theo, we aren’t a good match. The only other reason we got this far is because of our parents. Our parents wanted us to never friends, our parents wanted us to date, our parents want us to get married. What about what we want? What happens if we do get married? It’ll crash and burn. We don’t work. No matter how hard we try, we will never work.”

“But… I love you.”

Y/N shook her head, “That’s not enough this time.”

The sudden realisation that Theo was losing Y/N caused him to cup her face, pressing his forehead against his.

“There’s a difference between loving the idea of someone and actually loving them.” Y/N mumbled, “Us? We love the idea of each other. We are constantly stuck on the “what ifs” of our relationship? The possibilities. We are so obsessed with this relationship because we created a different version of each other in our heads when in reality, those version of us will never be true.”

Theo rested his head on Y/N’s shoulder. He knew she was only telling the truth but it still hurt. Maybe Y/N was the right person for him or maybe she wasn’t; all he knew was that they met at the wrong time.

“I love you too, Theo, but we have a problem even saying those simple words.”

Their breakup was inevitable once the arguments started. It was only a matter of time before the fighting became too frequent to ignore.

“So… this is it?” Theo muttered. “We’re finally breaking up?”

“We had a good run, Theo.” Y/N uttered, fiddling with her cigarette. She handed it to Theo, slightly smiling. “See you around… I guess.”

“You’re just… walking away?” Theo himself was cold sometimes but he didn’t expect it from Y/N. It was finally clear why she had been placed in Slytherin instead of Ravenclaw; she was as heartless as her friends.

“If I don’t walk away, Nott, then I’ll keep holding on when I know I need to let go.”

Nott. Y/N always called him that when she was angry or teasing him. She didn’t look angry this time, only sad. They’d see each other at meals for sure but it would never be the same because they’d no longer be holding hands under the table.

“See you at dinner.” Y/N said, her voice a hushed mutter. She feared that if she spoke any louder, Theo would hear her voice break and notice her glassy eyes.

“Yeah… see you.” Theo watched as Y/N walked off with no intention of chasing after her. He wanted to and it took all his power to fight the urges to hold her back. This was for the best. Theo knew he’d have to let go of Y/N eventually so that both of them could pursue a healthier relationship in the far future.

He’d always be thinking of her, though, day and night. He knew it’d be the same for Y/N because despite everything that had happened between them, they were still each other’s first loves.

Theo glanced down at the cigarette he held in his hand. He could see Y/N’s lipstick stain imprinted on it, the last reminder of the kisses they shared before it all burned down.

HP TAG LIST (comment to be added) : @jetblackpayne @rafeslittleangel @opheliamalfoy236

[bellarkeselection]

His Compass of Harrenhal - part 3

Part 2 - Part 4

Tag list - @only4thefics @superintenseart @universallyrascaldreamercookie @uniquecroissant @vavafaure1994

It had been a few weeks before we had received the news that Grover Tully had died. Once receiving that letter I hadn’t managed to will myself out of my bed chambers that I shared with Daemon. Having my whole body buried underneath the covers while I just cried in a ball hearing the heavy door creak open and my husband’s voice came out into the room. “Y/n, what are you doing underneath the covers?”

“I’m not feeling well, husband.” I muttered not removing the covers off of my face while I cried. I wasn’t quite sure how much emotion I could show towards him about the passing of my Lord father.

His boots could be heard scuffing across the stone floor till I felt the mattress dip down at his weight while he crawled underneath the covers and wrapped his arms around my shaking form seeing the tears still coming from my eyes. “I don't really know what it's like to lose a parent. But I don't remember as much of my mother as I wish I did.” He gently ran his through my hair letting my tears soak his shirt with tears.

“I'm really glad you’re here. I don't want to be alone right now.” I snuff into the crook or his neck.

He kissed the crown of my head before he heard someone knock on our door. “I'm right here, little fish - Go away. We don't wish to be disturbed!”

“My apologies, my prince. Simon peaked his head inside our chambers altering us. “The Riverlands lords are waiting for you, your grace.”

Daemon and I followed Strong outside seeing all the Riverland lords and young Oscar waiting for us. I fixed my gaze only on my nephew. “Be welcome, my lords...and you have my thanks for answering my summons. I know I'm not the man my grandsire was, but I hope to begin well, and go on from there.” My very nervous nephew cleared his throat trying to address the bannermen properly.

Daemon moved away from my side shaking his fist in the air before pointing to the young lord. “Well said. One thing is clear...the Rivermen honor the old ways and abide by tradition. Here, then, is tradition. Grover Tully is dead. Lord Oscar raised up in his place. You have been summoned here to swear anew your fealty to him, and as his bannermen, answer his call.”

“And what would that call be?” A Riverlord I couldn’t recall the name of asked out into the open.

Daemon rested his left hand on the top handle of his sword that was attached to his hip. “In his wisdom, he has pledged his house, and yours, to me.”

“Lord Oscar, for generations we have been guided by the judgment of your forebears. Why should we now follow a boy, younger than my own sons, when you will align with one who will desecrate the innocent to reach his aims?” Lord Piper challenged my nephew.

Lord Blackwood pushed two other men who had chains wrapped around their wrists before the group. “I did only what was necessary, my lord. And I now deliver to you the traitor. Amos Bracken and his son.”

“No more traitor to his land. than you, Willem Blackwood.” Lord Piper scoffed at Lord Blackwood.

“I take to heart your words, Lord Piper, and I agree, I-I-I am young. And I have no love for Daemon Targaryen, unlike my beloved Aunt Y/n seems to. He has dishonored himself and the crown with his...comportment here.” Oscar turned back towards me and Daemon very slowly making me feel nervous knowing that me choosing to be with Daemon now put a target on my back against my former family House Tully. “Nevertheless, having so little experience to guide me, my best course is to defer to the oath my grandsire swore to King Viserys when he named Rhaenyra his heir. I see no reason to cast aside loyalty. no matter how loathsome I may find her representative, the prince.”

Daemon interrupted the young lord. “King. Mind your tongue, boy.”

“Daemon, don’t.” I stepped forward squeezing his forearm causing his purple eyes to drift down to meet my soft gaze.

Oscar slowly stalked over to the dragon prince getting in his face not fazed by what he had said. “Will you have our army or not? I am, in the end, a Riverman and the word of my house stands, even if certain people are unworthy of it.”

“Your Lord Oscar is bold. But he is perhaps not wrong. I may have been a touch enthusiastic. in pursuing my aims. But don't allow my failings to...keep you from supporting an upright man.” Daemon stepped beside Oscar shifting his gaze around to the other lords that surrounded them.

Lady Mallister spoke up. “Lord Oscar, we honor the old ways, as Prince Daemon says and the old ways call for justice to be done.”

“Justice has been done. They who bent the knee to the usurper have been brought to heel. And now, we unite before our liege lord...and our king consort.” Lord Blackwood yanked the two men who were his prisoners forward, eyeing his ledge lord to see if he was impressed or not by his actions.

“I accept you as my vassal, Willem Blackwood… but...I am Lord Paramount of all River Houses. And there is only one answer for the crimes you visited upon your neighbors.” Oscar raised a brow with a look of disgust to him.

Lord Blackwood wasn’t expecting that reaction from his lord. “I did only what His Grace the king required of me.”

“It is true that he made clear his base desires, but you did not have to pursue such savagery. You did it... because you wanted to.” Oscar deepened his voice in a threatening manner to one of his bannermen.

Another lord in the crowd raised his voice. “Our young lord speaks truly.”

Oscar simply declared. “Seize him.”

“God's no.” I gasped and brought a hand up to my lips briefly forgetting how we dealt with traitors in the Riverlands.

Willem Blackwood attempted to fight against his loyal lords dragging him before their Ledge Lord. “Don't fuckin' do this. Your Grace, command them. I've only served you. Command them.”

“If His Grace wishes to show contrition for his acts and to prove himself deserving of our banners he must now rectify his grievous error. Denounce your crimes...and dispense justice.” Oscar didn’t draw his sword and rather focused his eyes on the dragon prince telling him that he would be the one to take the lord's head.

“Oh, dear.” The knight who currently watches over the castle watched with nerves when my husband drew his sword and moved forward over Lord Blackwood who had been thrown down in front of him on his knees.

I didn’t realize a scream escaped my lips at the exact same time when Daemon raised his sword above his head and then lowered it beheading the man. “Ahh! D - Daemon.” I croaked with water eyes as he came back over to me, dropping his sword on the ground and just leading me inside the old castle.

“I didn’t think you’d have to see something like that. Are you - is the baby okay?” He asked me with a much gentler tone compared to the more serious one he had delivered to the Riverland Lords outside.

Placing one hand over his that was resting on my swollen belly I whispered meeting his eyes. “We’re alright, my king.”

“Good. I won’t lose my wife and little dragon if I can help it.” Daemon rested his forehead down against mine and I smiled about to kiss him till another set of doors around was flung opened by Simon Strong.

“Your Grace, my lady. Queen Rhaenyra has landed near the castle. She is requesting your presence, my prince.”

Clutching the fabric of Daemon's tunic in my fingers he pulled my head against his chest while I whispered under my breath very much terrified. “That can't be good for me.” Either she would accept me or try go feed me to her dragon.

[samgirl98]

Forgotten Demon Twin 10/?

Prev | Next

Well, here it is. Sorry for the long wait.

“What do you want, fruit loop?”

Danny got in a defensive posture, sure Vlad would try to attack him one way or another.

Vlad raised his hands, “I just want to talk, little badger. Especially since new secrets have come to light. I want to ensure certain ones stay in the dark from your moth—parents. We wouldn’t want them to find out how much of a killer son they had brought into their home, now would we?”

Danny scowled. He knew his eyes were glowing when Vlad started smirking.

“How dare you threaten me, Plasmius?” Danny said in a low voice. The room got colder. “I am the Crowned Prince of the Infinite Realms; I will be your King. The only reason you’re not fully dead right now is because I’ve been holding back. Don’t test me.”

“You adorable, Danyal,” Danny gritted his teeth at the way Vlad sneered his real name, “but let’s think about this logically, shall we? Your parents just found out their adopted son was sent to spy on them by a cult interested in their research. Fine, that’s one thing; they can forgive that. You’re still their precious baby boy.”

“Now, imagine you add on top of that. You tell them you’re Phantom, the ghost boy menace of Amity Park. Not only that, but you’re the Crowned Prince of the Ghost Zone, the future king of the very species they sought to experiment with and exterminate. Do you believe they can take the pressure and the angst? Will they forgive you?”

“And let’s say they do accept you for being Phantom? What will they do when they find out their son wasn’t just a part of a cult but an assassin? Will they see you as a monster for taking lives and being Phantom? Have you thought about that?”

“You just don’t want mom to find out you’re the Wisconsin ghost,” Danny accused even as a small voice at the back of his head whispered at him.

“Believe what you will, little badger. Believe what you will,” with those last words, Vlad disappeared.

Danny collapsed. Now, what should he do?

____

Bruce picked up the phone.

“This is Bruce Wayne.”

“Hello, Mr. Wayne, it’s Maddie Fenton.”

“Mrs. Fenton, how nice to hear from you again.”

“Put it on speaker,” Tim mouthed.

All of his children stopped what they were doing and paid attention. Bruce almost left the room but knew that would make them more curious and force them to find destructive ways to eavesdrop. With a silent sigh, he did what Tim told him to do while giving them.

“How may I help you, Mrs. Fenton?”

“Danny has agreed to a DNA test. When do you want to do it?”

His children perked up at the new information.

“As soon as possible,” he answered. He wanted to be a part of Danny’s life and wanted written proof Danny was his. “I have ways to do a discreet DNA so the media won’t catch wind of it.”

“Hm, that’s fine. How does tomorrow work for you, Mr. Wayne?”

“Tomorrow’s fine. I’ll pick you up—”

“No need,” Mrs. Fenton interrupted, “Tell us where we have to be, and we’ll meet you there.”

Her voice was neutral, if a bit off-putting. Bruce gave the name and address of the hotel where he was staying. While Bruce would’ve loved to have used the Batcomputer to do the test, he knew he couldn’t explain it to the Fentons. Instead, he got a trusted company that would keep the secret to do it and were on standby.

They would come to the hotel, take a sample and have it back to him in 72 hours.

“We’ll be there at 9 o’clock. Oh, and Mr. Wayne?”

“Yes?”

“It doesn’t matter what that test says. Danny is a Fenton. He’s our son. Ours. We’ve raised him; we’ve been his parents for the past eight years. So, if you try to take him from us, you will have a fight. Your money doesn’t scare us. We will do anything for Danny. Anything.”

“Mrs. Fenton, I would never want to take Danny away from the people he loves. I want to know if he’s my son and how I can help him. If that means he stays with you, well, that’s his decision.”

“Hmph,” she huffed, “We’ll meet tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

“That went well,” Tim said.

“She feels I’ll take away her son. It’s only natural for a parent to want to defend their child,” Bruce said.

He may not show it most of the time, but he would protect his children with his dying breath, and if anyone tried to take them away from him, well, he would move Earth and Hell to get them back. He could blame the Fentons for wanting to protect their son from him. If anything, it made Bruce feel better that his son had found such loving parents.

“Now, where were we with these Anti-Ecto laws?”

He would protect his son however he could.

____

Two boys ran in the park with a dog chasing after them.

Damian watched them and felt envious. He could’ve had that with Danyal if he had looked for his brother after he went with his father. Instead, he had removed his brother so far from his mind that Damian had completely forgotten him. Even when he started getting along with his adopted siblings, Danyal never entered his thoughts.

Respawn suddenly came to his mind.

He still remembered his joy when he found out he had a blood brother, not an adopted one. Danyal still hadn’t crossed his mind. There was so much joy for a half-brother who wanted to kill him when his twin had been left alone and forgotten.

The two boys began wrestling with each other, giggling the whole time.

Would Damian and Danyal have had a normal sibling relationship if Damian had brought him home to father sooner?

“What’s on your mind, baby bat?”

“Tt, nothing, Richard.”

“He’ll come around if you show him you want him in your life.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

Richard shrugged, “Then we leave him to be and protect him from afar.”

Damian frowned. He didn’t like Richard’s solution. He wanted his brother to come with them so he could mend the relationship. So he could show Danyal how much he’s changed. He didn’t need a fake family; he had father and the rest of their siblings.

Damian was about to say so when an explosion rocked through Amity. Richard got up quickly and looked toward the direction of the explosion.

Green, Lazarus green plumes (always that accursed color) rose into the sky.

Damian didn’t think; he ran toward it. He knew his brother would be there and was determined to help.

“Damian, wait!”

With a slight twinge of guilt, Damian ignored his older brother. He couldn’t afford to wait. He had a brother to help.

It's been a few busy months for me. First, depression hit me like a wrecking ball. Then, we moved, and I started a new job, and the next thing I knew, it was May.

I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Thanks for reading

@itsberrydreemurstuff @youracearocroatneighbour @imsotiredfanficlovertm @nek0mancer @bianca-hooks123 @browsing33 @moonshell25

[auraisereigh]

"A dive into the past"

chapter nine

Brennan Sorrengail x Riorson reader Blurb: Star explains a piece of her magic while passing time waiting for e certain someone. wc: 3.9k ☆ SPOILERS FOR THE EMPYREAN SERIES. Not much really. Star's thoughts get their own warning? Uses pronouns: she/her. i use Star as a nickname as y/n sounds weird, and i'm awful with names.

Masterlist ☆ Dragon guide ☆ Star's story ☆ Empyrean guide ☆ Support me

After a lot of back forth with House Lindell today would finally be the day I'd see my brother again. Almost two months after I came back home I finally get to bring him home.

I didn't sleep much, I kept tossing and turning, filled with nervous energy. Wondering what state he'd be in, we might have been separated for only two months but those two months have been long and difficult.

Since I couldn't sleep I spend the night cleaning Xaden's room, tidying it up, making sure everything he could possibly need would be there. I refreshed his sheets which gained me some glares from the early staff because of the noise. I also gave him new and extra pillows.

In the morning I almost bumped into Brennan. Despite that our... Issues had been resolved, I didn't necessarily go look for him to spend my time. He still leaves meals for me with notes and what I heard from Felix he still doesn't spend much time outside his room. I visited him in the beginning of the week with some books I thought he might like but he didn't look too happy about them.

It fueled me with insecurity for some reason. I wanted to do something nice but I'm not sure that that is how it came over to him. An insecurity I still feel right now, as he literally sits Infront of me in the mess hall.

It's mostly empty, lunch ended an hour ago. I've been restless for the whole day. Waiting for Xaden to arrive. Aethan promised he would come and get me when he arrived but that was hours ago.

Brennan looks up from the paper I slid under his nose. His brows furrowed in confusion. "Please, enlighten me, what am I looking at?" His sarcastic voice asks. He knows I'm nervous and restless, he handles it well compared to other people. "A paper?" I cringe at my own words. "Your serious." He deadpans. "What are the symbols?" He asks, his voice a little softer now.

"They're runes." I state matter of factly. "They're runes on a paper." He looks at me as if I just told him his dragon spits water instead of fire. "Runes?" He asks with raised brows "You don't know what runes are? Did precious mom keep that from you too?" I taunt slightly, which earns me a glare.

"No, I do know what they are but they are forbidden." He explains softly. "I know they are." I say a little bitter. From all the provinces, Tyrrendor suffered the most after unification. We lost our language and our culture.

"Then why write them down? You're not allowed to use them and you can't use them." There's is curiosity in his voice. "Not allowed and not being able to are two different things." I correct.

"Yes, I know that but you can't use it. You're not a dragon rider. You don't have magic." I scoff at that. Dad was right, riders are truly pricks. Their ego bigger than their dragon. "And you think you dragon riders are the only ones with magic?" I challenge with a raised brow. "Yes, there is no other way except channelling from the ground and you look pretty sane to me." For the love of the lord.

I let my eyes glow their soft red hue. It's always a thrill to show people who think they're the only ones in power that they're not. It's so much fun.

His eyes widen slightly and he opens his mouth to say something but he quickly closes it.

I blink and now eyes are back to normal. I give him a moment to process before I answer what seems to be everyone's first question. "I was born with it. No one knows where it came from as both my parents didn't carry magic nor did their ancestors." He nods slowly. "I thought you would have had at least an idea that I had something as I used it a few times when we were stuck in that cave, hiding from everyone." I continue on.

"I don't remember much for then seeing as I had come back from the dead." He says sarcastic. Fair enough. What do I know about coming back from the dead.

"What can you do with it?" He asks, motioning to my eyes that were glowing earlier. I tilt my head, it's a good question but I don't even know where to start. "It's...complicated. We never found the limits. My dad told me the first time it showed was when I was four, it was harmless. From there on it showed more and more. When I was seven colonel Mairi started teaching me runes, in the hopes that could control it somehow, she had put this rune on a necklace to keep my magic contained. When I was seventeen I lost it near the cliffs of Dralor." I start, giving him a piece of past behind it, by far not everything.

"When you're a teenager you get to that age where you just wanna discover yourself right?" He nods. "Well, I took the necklace off many times. I'd be in the woods or near the cliffs of Dralor, trying things out. I devoured the library for books that could help, I tried everything in my reach." I continue.

"And? What did you find?" He asks with a curious tone. "If I'm correct, which I'm not sure of I am. My magic comes from a source in nature or nature itself. The possibilities so far have been endless. Moving things, making shields like wards, enhanced senses. Those seem to be the most common. But with the right idea a lot more is possible. It's just...unknown. Which is scary." I finish. I left out the parts of being able to read minds. But for the sake of not freaking him out more that might be smart.

He nods again, his eyes focused on mine. He looks like he's prossessing the information. "And of course the red glowing eyes and the magic itself looks pretty amazing." I say trying to lighten the topic. He laughs softly, leaning back as he looks at me with those adoring eyes.

We stare at each other for a moment. He looks like he has a million questions, which, fair. He opens his mouth but quickly shuts it and tenses. I frown and look behind me to see Ulices walk over us.

He looks directly at me, basically ignoring Brennan's presence. My frown deepens. "Lieutenant colonel." He addresses me. Oh, that sounds weird. I shudder. I'm never gonna get used to that. "You're needed in the assembly." He says curtly. My mind instantly goes to the worst case scenarios. "Excuse me." I tell Brennan hazy. He give me a small smile but I can see the tenseness in it.

I stand up and follow Ulices. My mind spins. What if Xaden is not coming? What If House Lindell changed their mind last minute. What if they sold us out to Navarre? Will they hurt Xaden? Or worse?

My mind continues to spiral as I follow Ulices. We turn the hall to the assembly room where almost every member except for Aethan waits.

Huh?

I stop once I reach them. My brows furrow in confusion as I stare at them, waiting for an explanation. Trissa clears her throat. "Aethan is waiting for you inside." She says as she gestures to the closed door.

Nervousness and nausea coils deep in my stomach as I make my way to the door. I push on the large door handle, opening it so I fit through. I close it behind me.

Aethan leans against the table, the stress is visible on his face, which only worsens mine.

I swear I'm gonna throw up.

I open my mouth, wanting to ask him what's going on when another voice cuts me off before I can even say something.

"Hey, little sister." My heart stops and I freeze. I haven't heard that voice in more than two months.

I slowly turn around, my whole body trembling. My younger brother, leaning against our father's throne.

"Xaden." I breathe.

☆

Taglist: @honethatty12 @smashee0789 @awkardnerd @randomperson1234sblog @bangtanxberm @hyperactive-bookworm-0

[creacherkeeper]

happy pride everyone

for some reason i was sitting outside this morning and enjoying some shockingly not boiling hot weather and reflecting on a post i had made like ... 12 years ago on here that "blew up" (like 60k notes on early days tumblr) and thinking like. wow i sure do know a lot more about myself now that makes all that make sense but

the post was someone saying like. hey how can you call yourself an atheist and support gay people because gay people go against the concept of evolution. and my reply was like. actually there are gay members of like every social species weve studied it in and i had a bunch of facts laid out about all the different very gay animals of this world (like giraffes having very largely m/m sex)

but now, like 12 years later, i am thinking about human evolution and queer identity and thought it would be fun to talk about. i am by far not an expert and so if there are experts who want to correct me or talk more in depth about this Please jump in but

... why did humans evolve to be queer anyway?

very short answer: because its helpful to raising kids

longer answer: though its debated whether humans are a prosocial or eusocial species, it is agreed upon that early humans cooperatively raised young, including those that they did not personally sire or give birth to, and that we lived in multi-generation communities where younger members would help raise older members offspring, and vice versa

(note: im using the terms amab and afab for human populations potentially pre concepts of gender but work with me here, i dont want to keep repeating genitalia or genomes when those arent always a helpful 1 to 1 either. sex is a spectrum gender is made up etc support intersex rights)

we know that due to fraternal birth order effect (npr link), youre 33% more likely to be gay with each older amab sibling that you have (not 33% total, but 33% more, so like 2% to 2.6 to 3.5 etc). this is true of both amab and afab people with older amab siblings. we also know that a birthing parent having more of a specific antibody makes their children more likely to be gay (and that antibody is not exclusive to but is highly tied to giving birth to amab children)

in addition, evolutionarily speaking, its just as advantageous for your siblings children to do well than it is for yours to. its incredibly rare you would happen to have a very helpful mutation that your siblings dont have. which means that your siblings kids would be about 25% amab grandparent, 25% afab grandparent, and 50% a parent who is unrelated to you. this is exactly the same for your own children

okay, so what does that mean?

to put it simply, it means that having older siblings, specifically older siblings who are more easily able to sire more children, makes you more likely to end up in a same-sex couple, which means you are two adults with no children who are now around to help raise children you are equally invested in the success of than if they were your own

the more older youth or adults you have around to help who are not also using up a bunch of resources by being pregnant and having non-helping-age children, the better off that community's children will be. more people to hunt and gather and create resources like tools, which means everyone prospers, especially the kids

or, to frame it from the opposite view: having gay siblings means your children are more likely to survive and thrive

(kind of funny how conservatives are like gay people shouldnt be around children when the entire point of our evolutionary development was that we were great to have around if you had kids but like. alas)

so, thats the very basic core of it. but you can apply this concept to a lot of queer identities. aroace? working adult around to help who is not bringing in an unrelated partner or having kids. trans? you now either have an m/f couple who can fill two different social niches without having kids, or you have a gay couple who is able to do more varied physical tasks whether or not they do have kids. bi people may have kids or may not, or their children may be more spread out if they have partners of different sexes over time

not to mention you kind of have some built in, ready to go parents in the case that another community member dies, and there are now orphans that need raising. its a lot harder for someone whos already a parent to take on more children, as opposed to an adult couple who doesnt have any

so yeah :) were queer because we were helpful to have in communities and allowed everyone, but especially youth, to prosper and thrive

tl;dr: queer people were an evolutionary advantage to have in an early community because we were helping-age members who were able to cooperatively raise young and take on orphans without using up resources on birthing and raising our own young

yay science :o) happy pride everyone!!!

[modelbus]

hooray!!!

well, might as well start off strong here!

how abt tommy x gn!reader (they/them, romantic) one shot in which reader is horribly touch starved. like to the point where they will flinch away when people offer physical affection. don’t get me wrong, they crave it. they absolutely love physical touch, hugs, cuddles, kisses, etc. they just aren’t used to it. speaking of which, they will never ask for anything in fear of rejection

just a story based on this idea, with reader needing physical affection and tommy giving it :))

no rush tho, take your time. make sure you drink water and eat food. luv you!!!

🫧

🫧, are you spying on me... why is this me Oh yeah guys, finally answering my requests!

Pairing: Cc!Tommyinnit x Gn!Reader (romantic)

Tortured Touch

It starts, naturally, with Tommy. Of course it starts with Tommy; you’ve never seen a person more likely to tackle someone else for the fun of it. Or, in your case, more likely to fucking smother someone.

You blame his parents. Lovely people, but God did he not know the meaning of personal space. Although, it’s not like you ever corrected him. Not like you ever pushed him away, not like you ever awkwardly asked him not to pretend to kill you because he was doing a bit.

So, it started because of Tommy. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.

The ache inside of your chest that seems to breathe when you do? Entirely his fault. His fault for making you crave something, and then actually giving it to you. Who does that? Who is that kind to you? 

Physical touch. It’s a love language, according to the internet. It seemed appropriate enough. Those little arm touches, the casual hand-holding, a relaxed hold. They’re all part of a language you never learned how to speak. One you never learned how to speak, but everyone else did. A secret you were never let in on, like pig latin between the popular guys at school, or a whispered joke that led to muffled laughter you never could join in on.

Until Tom fucking Simons came along, slung an arm over your shoulders, and dragged you into a conversation before you could explain that you didn’t know what the fuck he was saying. Not that you would tell him you didn’t know what all the little touches meant; you were supposed to, and admitting that you don’t is too shameful. Besides, you didn’t want him to stop.

Selfishly. 

Selfishly, you didn’t want him to stop the physical affection he seems to give so readily. You were needy, and greedy, and probably a whole bunch of other adjectives that end in -dy, but you couldn’t stop. It’s a damn drug, and he’s your dealer. A very idiotic and oblivious dealer, but still.

He’s nice enough to never mention when you flinch, either. Tommy’s careful to never startle you, to never sneak up and scare the shit out of you, but you flinch at his touch all the same. A habit, for some odd reason. You’re too ashamed to admit that it’s because of how unused to it you are.

“And this is our funniest real-life video yet.” Tommy is saying to his webcam. “YouTube has this weird glitch where—“

“Liar.” You cough, and his head whips toward you. 

“The YouTube glitch is very real.” He argues, running a hand through his hair to fluff it up again for his next re-do of his intro. “It has wiped out families. It’s left orphans. Orphans!”

“Is it coming for me next?” You ask, smiling at him.

Tommy shakes his head. “Worse. It’s coming…” He trails off, raising his eyebrows at you.

The joke sinks in after a moment, making you groan. “You’re horrible.”

He bursts out laughing, an infectious thing you can’t help but join in on. “Since you ruined that take you have to be in this one.” He declares, barely giving you a second before he’s reaching out for your hands to drag you and your chair into frame.

You startle backward at first, but relax and let him drag you. He throws an arm over your shoulder, squinting at the monitor that shows his webcam. It takes you a moment to translate the meaning of the casual touch, but you finally settle again and lean into him hesitantly. 

“The lighting of the fucking room is off.” Tommy complains, reaching to flick on a lamp. “Does that look better to you?”

“Tom, it looks the exact same.”

“Forgot you’re blind as shit.” He sighs, rubbing up and down your arm. “I think it’s brighter.”

“Your editors can always fix the lighting.” You remind him. He always stresses about the technical aspects of filming, but you know he secretly loves getting the perfect lighting or angle.

“But it’s not the same.” Tommy fiddles with the lamp once more before relaxing back. “Alright!”

Taking that as a signal that he’s starting the new attempt at the intro, you smile brightly at his camera.

“This is our funniest real-life video yet. If you want us to do something like this again, subscribe. If we get one gazillion subscribers I will—“ he falters, clearly having forgotten whatever mental script he had.

“He’s going to kill me.” You chime in. “I will consent to death.”

He follows the bit quickly, nodding solemnly. “Leave comments telling me how I should kill them. I can throttle them like you do to babies.”

“Hang on—“ It’s too late, he’s already gripping your head in both hands, palms over your ears. 

“I will shake this all around like a fucking snow globe.” He tells the camera.

“Don’t call my head a fucking ‘this,’ that’s weird.” You protest, and he covers your mouth with one hand.

“Snow globes don’t talk, stupid.”

You lick his hand, and he shrieks, jerking away from you. “Aw, gross! Now my hand’s all infected with you!”

“You kiss me, Tom, I don’t think it’s your hand that you should be worrying about.”

He scoffs, self-righteous, and practically tugs you half onto him. Your body locks up, but he’s insistent, holding you to him until you relax into his warmth. He’s always run hot, a small thing you love.

“We should get food.” He mumbles, resting his chin on your head. Intimate, in the way he always does without flinching. It means something, just like all of his little touches do. You guesstimate this one to be ‘I love you.’

You guesstimate most of them to be ‘I love you,’ though, mostly because that’s always what you try to convey when you work up the courage to take his hand first or lean against him. 

“You’re still trying to do your intro.” You remind him, smiling at the image of you two in his monitor. 

“Fuck that, I’m hungry.” Tommy reaches out, grabbing your phone and unlocking it to search for places to eat. “Starving. Actively dy-ing.” He splits the word into two for dramatics, making you laugh.

“Withering on the spot?”

“Turning to bones.”

“Get your intro done.” You instruct him, because if he doesn’t then he’ll jolt awake at two in the morning in a panic. He makes some long-suffering noise, only being louder when you stand up and dodge his attempt to grab your arm.

“You can’t leave, you’re my hostage!”

“I think you mean partner.” Raising your eyebrows expectantly, you wait for his correction.

“What I said. Anyway, you can’t fucking leave me!”

“I’m going to grab fast food.” You sigh, taking pity on his dramatics.

Tommy brightens considerably, sitting up straight. “Ooh, I want a large--”

“I know your order, Tom. Have some faith in me.” Stepping toward the door, you pause.

After a second you backtrack to give him a kiss, quick and short, slightly worried it’s the wrong thing to do. But he beams at you for it, too-happy and joyous at the simple kiss. See? You can get this physical affection stuff down sometimes.

“Don’t forget my-” He starts to call after you.

“Diet coke, I know!” You shout back, laughing as you leave.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman - Part 6

Ona Batlle x Lucy Bronze

Alternate Universe : Military school

Words : 4k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Camp Wiegman part 6

Monday, October 19; 6:15 AM - Ona and Alexia's Room.

A new week is about to begin. I meditated a lot over the weekend. I now feel ready to move forward in the right direction. At least, I will try... The days are becoming repetitive. Wake up at six, preparations and check-in at exactly a quarter past six. That's what's happening right now. I stand straight as a rod in front of my bed while Bronze inspects our room.

"All right, you can go."

I only release the pressure once she gives the go-ahead. Her analysis has become quick since she has nothing left to reproach me for.

"Are you coming?" Alexia asks, waiting for me at the door. "Go join the others, I'll be right there."

She waits a moment to see if I'm serious before shrugging. I wait for her to leave the room before turning to Bronze with a smile.

"Did you have a good weekend?"

She raises an eyebrow, remaining stoic. My friendly approach fails miserably...

"Since when do you want to chat with me? I thought I was your number one enemy here?"

"Well... After Friday night... I thought we could continue on that note... Unless you'd prefer I go back to being the annoying student," I joked.

My smile fades when she ignores me. I start to wonder if I misinterpreted... I feel stupid for thinking she would stay friendly with me.

"Well then, are you coming?"

I lift my head to see her waiting at the door. I let out a sigh I hadn't even realized I was holding. I really expected her to leave me stranded in the middle of my room.

"We can chat on the way to the cafeteria, right?" "Yes," I nodded frantically.

I hurry out of the room before she changes her mind. She closes the door behind me and we start walking towards the exit.

"So... Did you have a good weekend?" I hesitantly ask. "It was good, and yours? Did you keep busy with Williamson?" "A bit. It was better than last week since I wasn't alone. We binged the Hunger Games saga." "Good to hear," she smiles.

I look around when I feel watched. It's really the case. People must not be used to seeing a student chatting with an instructor. Bronze doesn't seem to care, unlike me. It starts to weigh on me, being the center of attention. Don't they have anything better to do than follow my every move? I shake my head, remembering the reasons why I'm with Bronze.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Here we go. I knew there was something behind this."

"W-what? No way! I just wanted to take the chance to ask you..."

"If you say so," she shrugs. "What do you want to know?"

"I swear it's true... I just wanted your opinion on something."

"Hmm, I'm listening."

"Do you think there's a way I can get my leave this weekend?"

"For your birthday, I imagine?"

Her response takes me by surprise. I didn't know she knew my birthday. She offers me a small smile.

"Don't be surprised. I have a file on you, and your birth date is in it. Not to mention, I heard your brother mention it when I came into your room on Friday."

"What do you mean a file? Wiegman promised not to disclose anything to the educators!" "She didn't disclose anything. I'm the only one with this file, and it contains the bare minimum." "Oh... What's in it then?" "That's not the point, is it?" "Please...?" I begged with a pleading look.

I don't like being refused things, even answers. Especially when my curiosity has been piqued. Bronze has no qualms about doing it. She makes me feel like I've been a spoiled girl my whole life. She's the only one who went as far as confiscating my belongings; even my parents never did that.

"You're really something. You know that, right?" "I know," I said, biting my lip nervously.

"There's not much, it's like a sort of resume," she replies. "Name, first name, and all that. I can show it to you if it reassures you."

"You'd do that?"

"It concerns you, I have nothing to hide. Now that you've asked your question, can I ask mine?"

"I guess so..."

"I can understand that you don't want to disclose your information to strangers. However, I'd like to know if you at least confide in one person?"

"My best friend," I said without hesitation. "Completely?"

"Yes."

No, but she doesn't need to know. She knows almost everything. For what she doesn't know, she's created hypotheses that I never confirmed.

"Hmm..." she replies, skeptical. "Good. I was starting to worry about the shell you have. It's good to talk, so don't hesitate to do so with people you trust."

"I don't trust many people," I admitted.

"I figured. That's why you shouldn't hesitate to talk to them. Promise?"

I nodded gently. I don't understand why she's so insistent on this. She frowns at my reaction.

"Words, Ona. You're capable of speaking, so use that ability which isn't given to everyone."

"Yes, yes, I promise," I rolled my eyes. "No need to make a big deal out of it."

"It's important to do so, that's all. If you keep everything to yourself, you'll wallow in self-pity and sink."

"That's already the case..." "Well, you're going to make sure you're not anymore." "Easier said than done." "Luckily, you're not alone anymore."

I smiled sadly, thinking she's probably right. Surprisingly, it's her I think of first. It's been a long time since someone took care of me the way she does. She's authoritarian, but fair at the same time. It's exactly what I needed to get back on track. If she continues to behave this way, she'll certainly become the second person to find a crack in my shell. The only one who managed to do it before her is Mapi. We were close in high school, and she came back at the right time. She's the only one who knows part of what I've been through. Even my mother knows only the tip of the iceberg. She's seen me in all my states, but she never knew the reasons. I think that's what pushed her to send me here. She couldn't stand seeing me on the defensive and wallowing in self-pity. Bronze is right in saying I need to open up to get better, but it's beyond my strength. What I've been through is hard to confide. I was in an unstable environment where I had to fend for myself. I lost all trust in myself and people in general, especially strangers. However, I feel like Bronze is trying to be accepted into my little world. I'm resisting for now, but if she continues to stir up my painful memories, I might quickly crack without wanting to.

"You still haven't answered my question," I realized.

"You want my opinion for this weekend, right?"

"Yes..." I said, dreading her response.

"As I told you, I have a say in your leave. Even though it hasn't been very useful the first two times."

"Hmm..." I sighed. "Wiegman knows my every move, huh?"

"Yes. We have to send her reports during the week. So I'm obliged to talk to her about you." "I see," I sighed. "If you stay in line this week, I'll support your leave," she tells me.

-  Really?!

-  Really, she confirms. If you get through the week without any infractions, I guarantee you'll get your weekend pass. No delay in class, no more disrespect, no more fooling around, and everything will be fine.

-  I didn't know they reset the clock every week, I say, not hiding my excitement. This is great news! I was already imagining being stuck here because of my disastrous first two

weeks. If she wasn't my supervisor, I would probably jump on her out of sheer happiness. We stop in front of the cafeteria once we reach it.

-  You're not lying to keep me in line, are you?

-  Of course not. The pass is a reward for a successful week. I'm just warning you that Wiegman won't be lenient if you're even a minute late. His decision will be final.

-  Just one clean week... I think I can do it.

-  I hope so, for your sake. Can I go eat now?

-  Yes, sorry, I laugh. Thanks and enjoy your meal!

-  No problem. Enjoy your meal too. I do a little happy dance behind her back as she joins her colleague, who smiles amusedly at me. I immediately stop, my cheeks turning as red as a tomato, if not more. How embarrassing! She will definitely tell Bronze. I wait for them to enter the cafeteria before taking the same path. The usual noise fills my ears. It seems like nothing can spoil the good mood Bronze's answer has put me in. My attitude doesn't go unnoticed by my new friends when I join them at their table.

-  So, what's up with you? Since when do you talk to Bronze? Alexia asks right away.

-  Talking to Bronze? repeats her sister. Why did you do that?

-  I needed to ask her something. I stay vague, not wanting to be bombarded with questions or reveal my intentions. At the same time, I understand their curiosity. Since my arrival, I've been saying how much I hate my supervisor, so it's natural for them to be intrigued. I still hate her, but in a different way now.

-  Is it related to your good mood? Patri asks.

-  No, because this is the first time we've seen you so... happy, Pina finishes.

-  Can you all just leave her alone? Leah grumbles. She hasn't even started eating yet. I thank her with a smile and finally enjoy my breakfast with the first bite of my chocolate croissant. It's my favorite meal, even though my tray looks very similar every morning. It's rare that I choose

anything other than a pastry. Not that I don't like variety; I also enjoy a bowl of cereal or homemade pancakes.

-  So? Lotte insists.

-  I asked her if I have a chance of getting my weekend pass. It's my birthday, and I'd like to go home. Alexia chokes on her food, and her sister has to pat her on the back to calm her coughing. Her eyes are almost popping out of her head.

-  Your birthday is this weekend?! she exclaims. Why didn't you tell us sooner?!

-  I didn't think it was that important, I giggle at her expression.

-  Of course, it's important! How could you think it's not? she scolds me I shrug nonchalantly. Given her reaction, I don't dare tell her that I don't enjoy celebrating it anymore. She'd probably come up with all sorts of arguments to remind me how important this celebration is. I don't see why getting a year older is something to celebrate. It's just a reminder that we're getting closer to our death.

- You're turning twenty? Patri asks.

-Obviously, she's turning twenty, Alba replies as if it's obvious.

-What? You never know! Maybe she's turning nineteen or twenty-one, she retorts.

-I'll be twenty, I interrupt their debate. If I were twenty-one, I wouldn't be here. I'm happy to have met you, but I hate this place.

-No one would ever guess, princess, Leah teases. Relationships and you, you're not friends.

Camp Wiegman part 6

I smile at the nickname she used. She's been teasing me with it ever since she heard my supervisor call me that. She used it when I tried to negotiate a reduced punishment while we were on dishwashing duty. Unfortunately for me, Bronze is never easily swayed.

-  Why? Claudia finally asks.

-  Why what?

-  Why don't you like maintaining relationships? Lotte asks.

-  It's complicated, I shrug. Attachments aren't my thing. They only bring trouble.

-  You shouldn't just focus on the negatives, Alexia counters. You're saying that like you only see the bad side. There are plenty of advantages to having friends.

-  You're my friend, Ale, I roll my eyes. But only because you make me... I say with a silly smile. She laughs and lightly pushes my shoulder, knowing I'm teasing her. We change the subject when they realize I won't say more. I've already had a lesson on friendship with Bronze this morning; that's more than enough. I know having friends is important, but it's become difficult to find the right people. That doesn't stop me from appreciating everyone at this table. We all have our stories, different contexts, and that's probably what binds us. They know I already care about them a lot, even if I'll never tell them. I think they're great, but I'm not at the point of confiding in them. If they don't know it, I'm not going to admit it. I hate opening my heart and revealing my feelings. I've lost track of the conversation because of my thoughts. I smile to myself, thinking about this week. I really hope it goes by quickly and without any problems.

Thursday, October 22; 5:15 PM - Dormitory hallway.

-  Do you know where Ale went?

-  No. I sigh in frustration. The week went by quickly, but it was very strange. I feel like everyone is hiding something from me, especially Alexia. She's been nervous for the past few days, and now I find out she's lying to me. After class, she said she needed to quickly join her sister to ask her something. I found myself alone in the hallway as she vanished into the crowd. Her excuse might have been believable if I hadn't just seen Alba in the dormitory hall with Leah. They intended to go to the common room rather than meet Alexia. I was determined to find Alexia, but Leah must have sensed it because she convinced me to let her walk me to my room, where I had planned to go first.

-  Why would she lie to me? I fume.

-  Relax, Princess. She probably has a good reason. Are you coming down to the common room with me?

-  No, I'll take advantage of Ale's absence to call my little brother and tell him I'm coming home.

-  As you wish.

-  Do you want to come in? I offer, opening my room door.

-  No, I'll head down to the common room to join the others.

-  Alright.

-  You know where to find us if you need us.

-  I'll probably come down after my call.

-  OK, see you soon then! I watch her walk away, hands in his pockets. She's definitely one of the people I get along with best here. If I had to name people in priority when I get back, it would be Leah and Alexia's. I like the others too, but the bonds are different. Patri and Claudia are the group's jokers, and Lotte, the most timid. I have a hard time trusting her since her mother is the school's director. She must sense it because she often makes awkward attempts to approach me. I often wonder what she's doing here because she doesn't seem like a troublemaker. The last member of the group is Alba. She's the complete opposite of Lotte. She has no trouble coming to talk to me. She even inserts herself into my conversations with others now. This week, I decided to have a talk with her after what Alexia told me. I preferred to put the brakes on immediately rather than let her have false hopes. I felt like it didn't go down well at first, but her ego took over, and she accepted that we become good friends.

And then, I have to mention Bronze too. I think we've turned a corner. We've made a little truce, leaving the commander and the princess far behind this week. There's no more tension since she hasn't had to punish me. I showed her I could be obedient, just as she wanted. I felt a bit proud when she complimented me this morning, asking me to keep it up. I must admit, it's much better this way. I've been able to establish a routine since I have free time after classes.

I throw my bag at the foot of my desk after grabbing my planner. Alexia is lucky I really need to call Joan. I have good news to share since I managed to go a week without any infractions. I still need to get through tomorrow morning to get a positive response, but I know my pass is almost guaranteed. I pass by my wardrobe to grab my phone. It's time to call home. I sit on the bed while dialing Sam's number. I would never risk calling the landline for fear of reaching my mother or Marcus.

-  Hey Ona, how are you?

-  Good, and you? I say with a smile, hearing her voice.

-  You sound like it. Better than your first days, huh? I’d be good if you're calling with good news.

-  Yeah, I'm finally getting used to the environment... And I haven't had any sanctions this week. That's why I'm calling... I have a good chance of spending my birthday at home.

-  That's great! How did you manage that?

-  By putting up with it, I chuckle. Is Joan around?

-  He's in the shower, I think... Surprise him; he'll be happy. When do you think you'll be home?

-  My plane is at 20:25. I think I'll land around eleven at night, I say while thinking.

-  Alright, I'll let Hector know to pick you up at that time.

-  Thanks, I say while flipping through my planner. I despair at the sight of the mountain of homework waiting for me tomorrow. They aren't lenient with us on Thursday nights. They always bombard us before the weekend so we can be free. It's nice, but annoying. Plus, I never managed to catch up on my backlog from the beginning of the year. I started working on it this week since we've begun having tests on it. It's hard to catch up on a whole month. Especially when I have extra hours due to Bronze's punishments. Needless to say, I have a lot to catch up on.

-  Do you want anything special for lunch on Saturday?

-  Surprise me. It can't be worse than my cafeteria food... Well, it's not as bad as I expected.

-  Don't tell me it's better than my cooking! he complains.

-  No way! I chuckle.

-  Phew, that's reassuring! Alright, I'll figure something out then.

-  Hmm... By the way, now that I think about it.

-  Yeah?

-  I'm really mad at you. You'd better make it up to me with food this weekend.

-  Really? What did I do? We haven't seen each other for two or three weeks and you already blame me for something?

-  Yeah! I was totally embarrassed because of you!

-  Enlighten me, he laughs.

-  The other night, when I had you on the phone... My supervisor was waiting for me! You told her I was gay !

-  Ooooh! I'm sorry, Oni, he laughs. Did she say anything?

-  No, I sighed. And fortunately for you!

-  So what's the problem? Why are you complaining?

-  Seriously! You shouldn't have done that. I was super embarrassed! I pout when he laughs. Knowing him, he probably knows the face I'm making. He always makes fun of me when I imitate a five-year-old who didn't get their candy.

-  I never understood why you can't accept yourself.

-  I don't know, but it's just how it is.

-  Anyway, I always told you you'd end up with a girl. I smile, remembering that conversation we had when I was sixteen. Samuel had just replaced our former cook. My mother opted for youth since he had just turned eighteen. We hit it off right away, to the point that I imagined he had a crush on me. That idea disappeared when he revealed he was gay. That day, we had a long discussion about it, and he also mentioned he could totally see me with a girl. I made fun of him for a long time for that idea he insisted on. I laughed less the day I introduced Mapi as my girlfriend. He was one of the few who knew I was gay , along with Lucie and Maps herself.

-  Did I lose you?

-  Sorry, what were you saying?

-  That I have to hang up, your mother will be home soon and I haven't finished their meal.

-  Oh, no problem. We'll see each other on Saturday anyway.

-  I hope so!

-  Don't worry about that. I'll do everything I can to make it happen.

-  Alright, good luck. I'll see you on Saturday then.

-  Yes! Have a good evening, Sam.

- You too, Ona! Kisses.

I hang up, smiling. I can't wait to hear Wiegman's verdict. I put my phone in the bedside table to hide it a bit, knowing that the room doors can't be locked. There are cameras in the hallways, but that doesn't stop everyone from having access. I stick to my plan and decide to join the others in the common room, not feeling motivated to work on my courses. This has become my little routine since I've been free after classes. I opened the door to leave. I'm surprised to come face to face with Bronze, her fist raised, ready to knock. Her expression shifts from surprise to a smile.

-  I was looking for you. They told me you were here.

-  I was about to go down to the common room.

-  I just wanted to tell you the news myself.

-  What news?

-  I just left Wiegman's office. She granted your permission. I remain still, trying to process the information she dropped so casually. I have to repeat her sentence countless times to realize... I let out a scream of joy, jumping on Bronze who wasn't expecting such a reaction from me. She laughs near my ear as my face buries in her neck. I quickly pull away, realizing our proximity and blushing from the embarrassment I just caused.

-  It's well deserved. She was surprised by your sudden improvement and so was I.

-  Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you for everything.

-  I didn't do much. You can be proud of yourself. Let's hope you continue on this path.

-  That's not guaranteed.

-  Well, you know the price then. Alright, I have to get back. See you tomorrow. What time are you leaving?

-  Around noon so I'll have an early lunch.

-  I'll walk you to the gate then. Oh, and also. Keep this news to yourself. I'm not supposed to tell you until tomorrow morning. I nod, too happy to argue. She turns around and I wave goodbye before jumping for joy again. I thought I'd get the news tomorrow, but I'm really happy! She didn't have to tell me now. It's going to be hard to hide my joy from the others. I will sleep well tonight, without this endless wait. I'm finally going to go home! I'm finally going back to Barcelona !

[thewritingofspencerrose]

Risky Romance: A Series

Risky Romance

Max Verstappen x OC!Wolff x Daniel Ricciardo

liked by lewishamilton, susiewolff and 182,582 others

mercedesamgf1 the day we've all been waiting for is back! baby boss has returned to the paddock! (to support her father, no other reason ...)

gisellewolff well... maybe another reason

danielricciardo hi, i'm the other reason 🙋

gisellewolff but so glad to be in the paddock with my parents this weekend! rooting for you lewishamilton and georgerussel63!

georgerussel63 carmen and i were so glad to get to catch up about your studies and the prema advances!

lewishamilton always great to see you elle :)

"Papa? I'm going to go visit Redbull," I alert my father, his head rising from the screens he'd been analyzing, glasses half down his nose.

"Just be sure to not bother the team too much. I do not need Christian coming for my head because you're distracting his driver."

"Danny is still reserve," I correct, the fact not a bother to me, but something my father seems to forget often, mentally still in the years of Daniel's hayday.

"I don't believe that's the driver he was referencing," Susie's voice chimes, her lips meeting the top of my head before I stand from my seat in hospitality.

"Suz, we've been over this-" Her brows raise, a look I've seen her give the Academy girls, or Christian Horner when he's running his mouth, and her hands meet her hips. "Yeah, I'm not going to get into this now, I have a feeling I won't be winning this conversation."

Papa's hand meets my shoulder, him having joined the both of us near the doorway, "Smart girl, there is no winning when the other side is Suzie."

Suz just smiles, shakes her head, and laughs. God they're disgustingly in love.

"Lewis, would you mind walking Giselle to Redbull?" Papa's voice is returning, earning the raise of my own brows as the driver makes his way through mechanics and media staff, the ever busy atmosphere being the only thing to slow him.

"Dad that's-"

"Not a problem in the slightest," Lew interrupts, making my father smirk.

In another life, Lewis Hamilton is his son, and I'm the milkman's daughter.

"Papa, there is no reason for one of your drivers to walk me to through the paddock," The attempt to reason rolls off my tongue, glancing around. "I'm sure James here could walk me, right James?" I question, pulling the random engineer under my arm, his lips forming a smirk.

"Of -"

"No, Lewis will do it," Papa interrupts, patting Lew on the back. "Enjoy Redbull, do not cause trouble," He instructs, waving before pulling James away with Suzie on his other side, the poor boy looking scared to death.

"Why is he like this?" I ask the man left beside me, his arm coming around my shoulder and pulling me into his side, starting our trek.

"Because James made a comment about wanting to sleep with you last team meeting and wasn't as quiet as he thought," Lew answers, ruffling my hair as he always does. "George almost kicked his ass."

"George did?" I can't help but laugh, the younger Brit being the most calm and docile person I have yet to meet. "That doesn't sound like Georgie."

"Okay, so maybe it was me, but can you blame me?"

"What is my girl blaming you for?" Danny's voice interrupts our conversation, the walk to Redbull being far shorter than when I was younger.

I can't help but giggle, Daniel's arms pulling me into him as Lew raises his brows, considering if it's worth poor James' life telling Danny the joke. "I was going to sock a Mercedes engineer for wanting to sleep with your girl."

"Lewis Hamilton! Don't make me get Christian to banish you!"

"You're lucky I don't banish you, Wolff," Chrisitian's voice interrupts, eyes showing the insincerity behind his words but as he approaches with Max and GP.

"And with that, I'm going to head back to Mercedes," Lew speaks up, not entirely a fan of the team principle in front of us. "I'll let your dad know that you're in safe hands, Ricciardo, Verstappen, take care of her."

"Always do," Daniel assures, arms squeezing around my hips.

"Thank you Lew, I'll be back for family dinner."

"Family dinner?" Max is the one to question as Christian and GP wander off, the latter giving his driver a smirk. The Dutchman takes their leave as an opportunity to take the few steps between us and and kiss my cheek, fist-bumping Danny before returning to where he had been.

"Mercedes team dinner. We always have one on quali night. Danny comes with if he doesn't have plans. I'm sure you'd be welcome as well, especially if you're our date," I can't help but invite along.

"If I was your date?"

"Our date, yes. Just tag along with Danny and I, you wouldn't mind, right love?" I ask, a smile bright on my face and eyes pouty.

Danny shakes his head, a knowing smile on his handsome face as he looks between Max and I.

I remember when Daniel had first told me about his and Max's "moments of weakness" from before I came around, the nights they had spent together while in drunk stupors.

I also remember asking Danny why he was with me when he so clearly loved Max. It took us a month and a half before I would say yes to being his girlfriend purely because I didn't believe he was interested in me for the right reasons.

But as I've gotten to know Max, I can see the appeal.

Hence inviting him to be our date.

"Please Maxie?" I request, pouty eyes turned on him this time around and his exterior crumbling, a smirk coming to his lips.

Because this isn't that young, awkward man that Danny had met all I met way back when. He's a grown man, older than I am, and there's something in his eyes that suggests he knows why I'm suggesting what I am.

And he doesn't look against it.

"Anything for you, Elle."

[marymary-diva17]

Growing pains

another crossposting with some changes as well I hope you all enjoy.

Growing up was hard when being a young teenage navi girl and that was the story of lani life right now, she was happy a few months ago with her boyfriend Tsyerio but that soon came to end two day ago when he dumped her. Soon everything else started going down a spiral of doom for lani when she decided to be friends with tsyerio after their breakup nothing was going well for her. She wanted answers for why tsyerio had dumped her and asked her older brother and sister for help but even they wouldn't give her a solid reason for the breakup. Lani thought it was because of her reputation of always getting in trouble, for stuff she didn't do and tried to better herself as student and daughter. She was dealing with on going bullying and finally decide to stand up fro herself which lead to a fight with her bullies and her siting in the principal office. 

Principal " lani sully I'm highly disappointed in news that I have heard today about what had unfolded between you and some other kids” 

Lani " sir I’m sorry I …..” 

Principal " lani will you please explain your side as all blame seems to be going to you … and I need answers to slow whatever is happening” 

Lani “ sir I didn’t I don’t know” 

Conserlor “ young lady it seems like after you breakup with tsireyo and before that the bullying has become hard for you and school as well” 

Lani “ I been doing my best but I don’t know everything has become hard for me lately” there was soon a knocked at the door gaining everyone attention, as they looked as the door opened showing Jake and neytiri. 

Jake " sir we are sorry for the trouble our daughter has caused" 

Neytiri " we will make sure she says sorry for everyone she hurt" 

Principal " mr and mrs sully your daughter was telling me what has unfolded today leading to this situation that had gained everyone attention lani will you tell us more” 

Lani " yes sir this has been happing for a while now and it seems to have gone overboard I had been pushed to my limits, I had to defend myself”  

Jake " you decide to cause a fight I thought I raised you better then that but it seems like I failed that in the end” 

Principal " lani is free to go her grades will not be effected, as it seems like she taken all the remaining tests and assignments as well ... we will be taken a deeper look into this for everyone sake” the sully parents had nodded their heads and soon had taken lani home. Neither Jake or neytiri would look at their daughter or speak with her

Jake " go to your room and stay there dinner will be sent up I can't look at you right now" 

Lani " dad please ...." 

Jake " no you lost all chance to call me dad a long time ago young lady ...no wonder Tsyerio broke up with you" 

Lani " sir...." 

Jake " you are to immature, stubborn, and you cant act you age ... maybe if you change everything will be better why can’t you be like your older siblings for once you in your … dont be someone we have to be shameful of lani I will be speaking with your mother down her to find out a solution for the family” 

Neytiri " just go lani you have done enough pray to eywa for some help" lani didn't say anything else and left for her room as her parents were deciding her faith lani had tears running down her face, she had grabbed the phone and texted Tsyerio. 

Text 

Lani " please tsyerio I need you help or someone to talk to ... I know we end on bad terms but I thought we can still be friends" 

Lani " I'm sorry for whatever I did but pelage tell me what I had done" lani was about to send about text message hoping to make peace when she realizes she had been blocked by Tsyerio by text and social media as well. 

Aonung " lani I'm going to tell you this once but stay away from my brother and family I'm sorry tsyeio broke up with you like that, you are good girl and everything but you need to leave him alone ... we are all tried of seeing you trying to win him back and be friends you need to know and see it over for good" 

Lani " aonung" 

Anon " just stop it please you are making us all go mad and we are disappointed by your actions today I thought you were a better girl then that, but it seems like I was wrong you have disappoint everyone lani" 

Lani " ........" 

Aonung " until you can get yourself and your problems under control it will be the best you stay away from us for while" 

End of text 

Lani " what" lani had soon realized mostly everyone she knew either blocked her or muted her now she was truly alone even when her sibling got home they wouldn't talk with her. She was so alone now, during her suspension Jake wouldn't look or speak with her when she was home. Once her punishment end she was still grounded with her family being so close with Tonowari family, she was not allowed to attend import events and was left with her grandmother. Lani was left home alone this time as her grandmother had gone with everyone else, lani was on her phone when  she came across this very popular video. 

Lani " huh I wonder what this has to say maybe I should watch, it will be fun to try one of these test " lani had watched the video and soon clicked the link leading to the test and took it rights away. She was now waiting for the test results to come, back to her. 

Test " lani your result are : kindhearted, adventures, funny, rebel, calm, misunderstood, and talented is all make up you and many more and you can fit in with any crowd and welcome everyone" 

Lani " wow that sound like fun .... Well maybe everyone right maybe it time to approve my life but the life I want the dream I have dream and goals I wish" two more hours had gone by and there was soon a knock at the door.

neteyam " hey"

lani " hey"

neteyam " ....."

lani " are you disappointed in me as well like everyone else or half of everyone else"

neteyam " I still love you sis but it seems like mom and dad had called a family meeting"

lani " coming" the two siblings had made their way downstairs where everyone was waiting for them.

Jake " good you brought you sister now have a sit as we need to talk about today" the pair of teens had soon sat down and got ready to start this family meeting.

Jake " after today situation with lani it has greatly effected our family and clan, as what happened today should of never happened at all"

kiri " dad where is this leading"

neytiri " I and your father have talked this over today and some other time, we have spoke with your grandmother she she said it will be good for lani to come stay with her"

lani "so I'm going to stay with grandmother"

Jake "yes and maybe your time with her can change you for the better, as we can't deal with this anymore young lady as what has happened today caused enough damage to us all"

y/n " sir ..."

Jake " there no fighting about it young lady you are going and staying with mo'at until you come home. and then we can deal with you going back to school later on"

neteyam " she will be away for four weeks right"

Jake " the school year will be ending as you will be finished the rest online, as it seems and you will be spending the summer with your grandmother"

lani " yes sir"

Jake " when you are away you will leave tisreyo and his brothers alone, I don't want to hear about you texting or calling them when you are gone"

lani " yes sir"

neytiri " we will allow your siblings to have come contact with you when we think it will be for the best same things goes for spider under norm and tsutey orders, you will always write letters of sorry to everyone involve"

lani " yes ma'am"

Jake " You will leave that the end of this weekend I and your mom will take you there, you will need to pack as you will be gone for some time"

lani " what if something else happens dad what if the school doesn't let me come back or something else"

Jake " we will have to talk about that kids if that comes because after today, everything will never be the same"

lani " yes sir" the family had dinner but it was not a happy dinner, mostly a very neutral dinner. That night lani did cry a bit as well tears of sadness and some angry as well, she couldn't believe her parents will not fight for her but she was a bad child to them as well and everyone else. She knew her grandmother understood her maybe this time away will be good for lani. Lani had been able to sleep that night but she was still upset about everything. her weekend was not the better as well she packed her suitcases to be gone for a very long time.

lani " all packed"

Jake " good we will be leaving for the airport now say goodbye to everyone, I will bring your stuff to the car" lani had nodded her head as she had hugged her siblings goodbye, they seem to be upset about the whole situation. Everyone knew fighting about it will not end well, lani was soon taken to the airport.

Jake " here is your ticket and your grandmother will be waiting for you when you arrive"

lani " yes sir"

neytiri " you have enough money to get yourself lunch in airport right"

lani " yes ma'am"

Jake " good your grandmother will call us when you arrive and she pick you up, maybe we can talk for a while"

lano " yes sir"

Jake " please behavior for you grandmother lani"

lani " yes sir"

Jake " this is where we have to leave you lani" lani had nodded her head as her parents soon left the airport, as she made her away through security and to her gate after her bags were checked in. She had gotten some food and soda as she sat by her gate waiting for her plane to come, as she ate her food. She had made the mistake of looking at old photos of the past, and then on social media. she was going to message the group chat but stopped herself, maybe she need to give them time and herself time to see what will happen in the future. After a while the plane soon came and lani got on the plane as, it soon took off to where her grandmother lived and where her new journey will be starting as well.

lani " the test was right after all maybe this new journey will be good for me in the end" after some many hours or traveling and changing planes, she soon arrived at where she will be staying her getting her bags.

????? " lani"

lani " hey grandmother" the pair looked at each other mo'at soon hugged the girl, knowing everything that had happened but she was happy to see her.

mo'at " come on lets get you home we can have a talk there"

lani " yes ma'am and maybe this will be best in the end for me after all changing is good"

mo'at " yes it but I'm here as well for help when you need it" the pair had soon left the airport after they had everything, making a call to the sully family as the drove to mo'at home. As lani was thinking about all the things she had been told and done, she was going to have the time of changing when she was away from home dealing with the growing pains that will soon lead her to the person she will become in the future.

[i-heart-yellowstone]

35 - Norris Meets the Bunkhouse

Part 36

Raised Fair Share of Hell

Please leave comments of your thoughts or any suggestions ❤️

Tag list @bvbwestfall @hcwthewestwaswcn @child-of-of-the-sunshine @elenavampire21 @keep-the-wolves-close @kmc1989 @tallrock35 @whatelsecouldgowrong @lover-of-books-and-tea

Faith’s pov

Once my aunt Beth and uncle Rip had left the room and my mom had came out of the kitchen with biscuits everything seemed to settle down.  Cutting a piece of my steak I put it into my mouth, eyeing my boyfriend from the corner of my eye. 

Cooper was pushing some of his potatoes around with his fork while my grandpa asked my mother a question.  “Alissa, is everything set up for the branding tomorrow?” 

“Yes.  Alana and my mother seem to have everything under control there.  Your ranch hands Will just have to work with ours since we now combined our two properties.  Meaning more cattle and more that need branding.” 

Cooper swallowed a bite of food looking around the table.  “What’s the branding?” 

“Since we’re a cattle ranch we have to mark our cattle with our brand symbol.  That way if any of them get out of the fence and wander off someone can know who to return them back to.” My mother explained simply to the son of an oil manager. 

Cooper stabbed another piece of food with his fork.  “Would you like some more help with that tomorrow.  I may be a slow learner but I can offer help.” 

“Absolutely.  That would be amazing, Cooper.” My mother grins at the gesture. 

My father interrupted the lighthearted conversation between the four of us.  “What are your intentions with my daughter?” 

“Daddy, be nice.” I whispered under my breath. 

My father stabbed his knife into part of his steak glaring at Coope from across the table where he looked like he might launch himself across the table.  “I am being nice and making conversation.  Now back to my question, what are your intentions?” 

“Mr. Dutton, I would treat your daughter in the room way.  I haven’t even ever kissed a girl before until I met her.” Cooper admitted with a deep red appearing on his cheeks. 

Daddy death glared at him still.  “What about your family life?  Do you have any criminals or any past records we should know about?” 

“Kayce!” My mother scolded her husband. 

My father sat down with his fork and knife rather angrily.  “It’s a reasonable question, Alissa!” 

“I can answer it, Mrs. Dutton.” Cooper responded back taking a deep breath thinking about how to word his family correctly.  “We’ll I guess I should say my parents are divorced and don’t have a good relationship like you two do.  Um - I have a younger sister named Ainsley but we don’t get along too well.  I don’t have any criminal record and neither does my family.” 

My phone vibrates on the table flashing Ryan’s name up on the screen.  “Are you coming over to play cards tonight since you’re back home?” 

“Who’s texting you at dinner?”  Mama asked me hearing my phone go off. 

I turned the phone over replying to her.  “Ryan.  He wants to play cards.” 

“Who’s Ryan?” Cooper questions. 

Getting up from my wooden chair I waved to him to follow me saying goodbye to my family.  “He works in our bunkhouse.  Come on, I’ll introduce you to them.  Goodnight mama, daddy.” Her grandfather waved bye to us as we made our way to the bunkhouse. 

Cooper and I walked into the bunkhouse building hearing the gang watching someone ride a buffalo through a green field.  Normally they would be playing cards and drinking beer.  Moving around the couch I plopped down by Ryan and Cooper sat down on the armrest of the couch.  “What are we watching exactly?” 

“I feel like he just looks like some kind of sexy Jesus on the buffalo.  Ridin’ into the sunset.” Teeter spoke, causing Cooper to give me a weird look. 

“What did she just say?” 

Colby, her boyfriend, responded back to him. “Nobody ever knows what she’s saying.” 

“How is that guy staying on it?” Cooper asked the group. 

Lloyd, the oldest ranch hand on our ranch answered his question while sitting at the dining table.  “Cause they can’t buck.” 

“Really?” Cooper looked over his shoulder. 

Ryan nudged me with his elbow.  “Are we sure this kids really from Texas?  Or did he just have you buy him that hat that’s from Texas Tech?” 

“His father works in Texas, Ryan.” 

Lloyd explained about the buffalo video to my boyfriend.  “They can’t buck, they can’t rear up, but they can’t roll over on your ass.” 

“Hey we outta ride a buffalo out there in that field.” Teeter suggested. 

Leaning forward on the couch I looked at Tetter who was sitting on the tile floor in front of us.  “Where at?” 

“Out by the corral near the edge of the fence line.” 

Liyod got up from his chair at the table.  “Who feels like ridin’ a buffalo?” 

“Uh. Not me.” Ryan replied. 

Cooper paused in thought.  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” 

“I’ll ride one.” I jumped up to stand and Teeter raised her and we high fives. 

“There’s my girl.” 

Cooper whipped his head around in concern watching me go over to the fridge that was full of beer, taking one out and cracking it opened.  “Faith, you’re 18.” 

“And you’re 22.” I pointed the bottle at him, taking a long drink from it. 

He shifted around on the couch, fear written all over his face.  “It means you can’t drink.  You can smoke but no alcohol.” 

“I’ll be fine, Cooper.  As long as my parents don’t find out we’ll be fine.” I quickly finished my beer grabbing another running out the door shouting.  “Let’s go ride a buffalo!” 

We all saddled some horses with me and Cooper riding on the same one together.  Cooper slid off the saddle standing beside the horse, stumbling to regain his balance when I asked Liyod.  “So how do you do this, Lloyd?” 

“You can’t rope’em around the neck, you'll crush their larynx so you gotta rope them by the horns.  And then you pull them to a stop and hop on and off you go.” 

Cooper shifts his gaze back over to me.  “Faith, this doesn’t look like a good idea.” 

“Don’t worry, Norris.  These past felons wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me.” I kicked my horse in the belly catching up with Liyod who was roping the buffalo for me.  

Cooper shouted over the cheering from Teeter and Colby.  “Felons! Wait what - Faith!” 

Dismounting from my horse I climbed on the buffalo’s back one second bed Lioyd’s lasso around its horn snapped causing the buffalo to start running trying to throw me off.   “Woo! Cooper!” The buffalo ran in circles until it took a sharp turn charging directly at Cooper where I thought he would run hi, down.  

“Ahh!” My boyfriend screamed when a rope dropped around his waist by Ryan who yanked him towards his horse.  I slid off the buffalo letting the animal run for a little bit before he simply walked back into the open field. 

Liyod jumped off his horse helping me up from the dusty grass ground.  “That a girl.  Are you okay, little Dutton?” 

“That was freaking awesome!” Throwing my hands up in the air I cheered up into the night sky with the familiar stars above us.  Walking over to my boyfriend who was lifting the rope off of his body and over his head.  “You ain’t hurt are you?” 

Ryan explained taking his rope from his hand.  “I did my best to get him out of the fucking way.” 

“Thanks Ryan. So how are you, Cooper?” 

He removed his ball cap ruffling his hair.  “I thought I was about to get run over by a buffalo.  I can’t - you hang out with these guys every night.” 

“Pretty much.  I think the only thing we do that doesn’t physically hurt anybody is playing cards and talking trash.” 

“We can play tomorrow night if y’all will be around then.” Colby responded sitting on his horse. 

Cooper chuckled, placing his hat back on his head smiling at me.  I knew he was out of his element but I knew he would have fun in some situation if I had any say about it.  “I’m going to become a cowboy before I leave here aren’t I?” 

“More than likely, you bet your boots yes.” I smirked at my boyfriend tipping my light brown hat at him.  “Welcome to the Yellowstone Dutton Ranch, Mr. Norris.” 

[laithraihan]

Would you be comfortable sharing any personal info (age, profession, relationship status, etc...)? Completely understand if you're not but it's always really interesting learning about the lives of ppl I admire. Again, if that's not something you wanna do it's totally understandable! I love your art!!

Ah thank you so much 🫶 and sure I dont mind sharing some stuff but to be very honest Im not an interesting person, so I'm sorry in advance for disappointing you.

So I'm a woman (or something like that) even though I use a male pen name for art, Im 22 years old, 151cm (4'11"), the eldest daughter who has two teenage siblings who are both taller than me and make fun of me for being short. I do not have a profession and I do not go to school due to a disability I will not disclose. Im a lesbian engaged to a butch, we've been together for almost 4 years (our anniversary is in August)

My favorite season is winter because all the bugs are dead and I despise summer because the bugs are alive. Im also really scared of butterflies for some reason. Im scared of winged bugs in general. Ive never seen a cockroach in my life but I'd probably kill myself if I saw one. I really hate bugs. The winters are harsh here but I like walking outside when theres light snow falling at night. Im also a bit obsessed with Christmas lights but I dont celebrate Christmas, I dont follow any religion in general but my family is Muslim so Ive been raised with that. If I could just put Christmas lights in my room all year then I would do that. They look really pretty.

About my ethnicity I think everyone knows Im Algerian already, well Ive only been to Algeria once when I was like 8 years old so I dont really remember anything. All I know is that my uncle would keep telling my dad that I convinced him to stop smoking and that he's eternally grateful for that but I literally cannot remember what I did or said back then so I just pretended I knew what he was talking about. Anyway. Id like to go there again one day. I most likely will go soon in the future so it makes me happy to think about it.

My first language is French and Im somewhat fluent in English but it needs more work. Whenever I speak English I have to think harder about the words that come out of my mouth and I start saying things that dont make sense. But my pronunciation is good so other people just assume Im fluent. Also I understand Derja (Algerian Arabic) when people talk to me out loud but I cant form sentences and respond back so I just answer people in French. I know how to read Arabic script and I understand basic words but again I cant form sentences. As for Japanese I can only read Hiragana and Katakana and a bit of Kanji, and my understanding of the language is worse than Arabic, so I practice by translating Japanese song lyrics, reading news articles and talking with Japanese users online

Honestly I dunno what else to say, I dont really have any special skills or anything like that. Unless you count memorizing all the metro stations in Montreal but thats only because I had to use public transport all the time when I was a kid because my parents never felt like driving me to my appointments. At that point I probably visited every single station because I had to go to many random places. I dont have a drivers license but I prefer walking to places in general even though there are no stores near my neighborhood, but I think it's better for me because I get to walk more. I think I really like the idea of travelling in general but I dont have friends for that, my parents also wouldnt allow me to hang out with friends so it's a bit unfortunate

Oh and lately Ive been enjoying making eggs for some reason, I think Im good at doing that. But I only cook whenever Im hungry and I rarely feel hungry so I dont cook many eggs. I also dont like cleaning dishes so I avoid making huge meals in general. I dont really eat much in the first place but I still like food. I really like going to restaurants too. I just like going outside in general. I like listening to music and talking with people, normal stuff like that. Im running out of things to say so I'll probably just stop there.

[rustingcat]

Control

Lena's life was a series of the most extreme and random events. She wasn't sure if her being magic was part of it or the cause, but her life was, simply put, ridiculous.

Death, losing connections, friendships and relationships, manipulation, backstabbing, death threats, assassination attempts, kidnapping were all just some of the things she has experienced in her recent years alone, more than enough to make any sane person go crazy. She’s seen what crazy does to people, the destructive consequences of her family, her blood, and did what she could to avoid it, to keep herself afloat.

She tried to grasp whatever control she did get with both hands, using it as her way to sooth her soul when everything fell apart. She wondered if that was one of the reasons she felt compelled to take over the family company, deciding to dive right into the heart of the chaos to gain some hint of control over it. Her job was a major part in her life in which she held some control; as the boss she could dictate the direction of the company, she answered to no one (save for the board), and most importantly she could choose whenever to stop working. She could control the kind of food she put in her mouth, what to watch on TV, control the people she let into her life, her scientific knowledge gave her some control on her work, and her decision not to use her magic until she felt she grasped enough of its understanding gave her some comfort.

Yet, for every aspect of her life she had control over, Kara was always the exception to her rules. Breaking down every wall and defense mechanism, turning her life upside down, and the recent event proved it more than ever. Somehow every time she felt she had some hold on reality, the universe was keen to prove her wrong.

"Kara, I know you said that Kryptonian sex developed later than humans, but is it possible that one fetus developed faster than the other?" Lena asked after studying the live ultrasound footage on the monitor. Nia and Brainy's little girl seemed to be developing perfectly, at least that gave her some comfort.

"I don't think so? I can contact my father if needed, but what seems to be the problem?" Kara put her baby development book she'd been reading down and walked towards Lena.

"Well, after studying this ultrasound for quite a while, it seems like we have one fetus who developed male sex organs, while the other didn't." She did her best to keep her voice controlled and leveled. There was no actual reason to panic. Yet.

"Then we're having a boy and a girl! Lena, that's great news!" Kara said excitingly, raising her hands up to emphasise it.

"Kara, they are identical twins!"

"Oh, that I do know. It has to do with the chromosome distribution of the machine. Sex assignment is usually controlled by the parents, it is distributed individually after the process has begun. So it's given randomly to every child." Kara explained.

"So our identical twins are gonna be born with different organs?"

"Essentially, yes."

Kara really took the news far better than her. She wasn't sure how Kara wasn't phased by those surprises like she was. Kara led a life just as random and tragic, probably more, so by all accounts she should be just as disturbed. Then again, maybe she was simply better at repressing, Lena really couldn't tell.

Although thinking about it, Kara had been acting slightly different recently, even before the sex reveal. Lena couldn't put the finger on it, but she had her suspicions. She was more affectionate, more touchy. Not that Lena was complaining, she was eager to take any opportunity to be closer to her best friend. Lena couldn't help but wonder at the sudden change. Was the affection part a natural development in their relationship, or the most likely conclusion, had something to do with their project. They are going to become a family in the very near future, that by itself is enough to change the whole dynamic. A dynamic that is very likely to change regardless once the twins would come into their lives.

Lena suspected – despite her initial reservations – that Kara’s new affection has to do with a new romantic aspect, or something similar at the very least. The lingering touches, the crimson blushes that seemed to have coloured her face more often than before. True, a relationship with Kara was something she was hoping for for months, years if she was completely honest with herself, but the potential of a heartbreak might be too much for her to handle, especially if there are kids involved.

Was that the reason? Could it be a surge of emotions triggered by the idea of shared parenting that was wrongly interpreted as romantic attraction? Or was it something else? Fear perhaps? It is known to be a great motivator. Could Kara be fearing their shared partnership might be broken had Lena found a new romantic partner and instinctively started to develop something to keep their partnership at bay? Or perhaps she was reading it all wrong and Kara's new nervousness and touches were simply excitement and anxiety for their upcoming responsibilities.

Lena breathed out a long sigh, the whole thing was a lot to handle and she was already dealing with a lot.

"You okay?" Kara turned her head to her from the stop on the couch where they were snuggled together.

"Yeah," she flashed her a small smile.

"Then why aren't you watching the movie?" Kara fixed her with a knowing smirk

"Just thinking," she pretended to roll her eyes with irritation, but her smile gave her away.

Lena learned she couldn't control her emotions, she tried. She put them in little boxes for years to avoid and suppress them, so she wouldn't have to deal with them. She learned first hand how impossible and destructive it was.

"Well, your brain is very smart," Kara nodded. "Is this 'thinking' you're doing part of maintaining its smartness levels?"

"Of course, it's part of my daily routine." Lena said seriously, glad Kara wasn't pushing her to talk.

"I bet it would be even smarter afterwards." Kara pushed a stray hair off of her face.

"Oh, I wouldn't count on that."

"I would."

She wasn't sure when Kara got so close to her, but the distance between them was almost completely gone. Their conversation lowered to mere whispers. It was Kara, eyes half lidded, leaning in that broke her out of the haze.

Lena couldn't control her emotions, but she could control her actions at the very least. She could make sure to put herself in a position she was still in control of. Not let herself give in to temptations and dive into the unknown.

"I think I might retire for the night," Lena cleared her throat. "I'm more tired than I thought." She stood up before Kara could react.

She felt a cold shiver run through her body, and she had a feeling it was not because she stepped out of their blanket nest too quickly. Closing the door behind her didn't feel like the familiar safe space she hoped it to be, a distant voice at the back of her mind telling her that she left that one behind on the couch.

She stood there motionless in her room far longer than she realised.

Yes, Lena could still have some control. Although she wasn't sure about the cost anymore.

[kata-sans]

Raising Stripe

Chapter 33

Craig stared intently at the phone in his hand. His stomach was in knots. Four days ago he was watching Stripe play in the living room when he received a message from Kenny.

Trial successful. Will be ready to start treatment on Stripe within 2-3 weeks.

Craig should have been thrilled about Kenny's progress, instead he felt a stone settle in his gut. This is what was best for Stripe, to be normal. How could he justify keeping Stripe in this unnatural form?

Doing the right thing is not always easy but Craig's heart twisted as he watched his family shower Stripe in love. His parents were eager to spoil their only grandbaby. Trisha had bragged to everyone they knew that she had the cutest nephew. And Tweek… Tweek had taken to parenting as he did with most new experiences: full of fear but somehow naturally gifted.

Craig would always be guilty of boasting of his husband's talents, but everyone could clearly see Tweek was a great father. He cared for Stripe with love and a surprising amount of patience. Craig would even admit that Stripe seemed to favor his Mama, and Tweek was equally attached.

Craig sighed. All this made it hard to accept what needed to be done. Over the past four days he found himself hovering over the phone wanting to call Kenny and cancel the plan but then he thought of Stripe.

As a baby, Stripe was as worry free as he was as a guinea pig. He was fed, cleaned, and thoroughly cared for. It was nice, but Craig knew it couldn't last forever.

Stripe would grow up and he would be burdened with human problems. Could he blame him if Stripe grew up to resent his parents for depriving him of a carefree life. He couldn't risk it.

“Craig?”

Craig almost dropped his phone in surprise. He didn't hear anyone coming. He quickly shut off and pocketed his phone.

“H-honey! Did you, uhm, need something?”

Tweek looked at his husband with unmasked worry. “Craig what is going on? I can clearly see something is bothering you and I want to know what!”

Craig knew it was pointless to hide it, but he refused to bring down the holiday mood. “It's nothing, babe. Do you need help cleaning up dinner?”

Tweek growled in frustration. Before Craig could react, he shoved him onto the bed. He reached into Craig's pocket and pulled out the poorly hid phone.

“Tweek! What…?”

“This is your last chance! Tell me what is going on or I will find out myself!”

Craig was trapped. This wasn't how he wanted this to go, especially since his family was down the hall. He didn't want anyone to meddle in this conversation.

“Tweek, please, I promise to explain everything after my parents and sister leave.”

“Ha! So there is something! Well you better tell me now! Whatever it is, it's getting in the way of you enjoying our first Christmas with our baby.”

Craig's body tensed. “Don't say that.”

“It's true you've been moody and withdrawn…”

“I meant don't call him that!”

Tweek stumbled back in shock. “W-what?”

“We need to stop this Tweek. Calling Stripe ‘Our Baby’ is going to make it harder for us to do the right thing.”

“And just what IS the right thing?” Tweek said clenching his fists at his sides.

“We both know what I'm talking about. We knew from the start that Stripe was always going to change back into a guinea pig. I… We got a little carried away in pretending he was our child…”

SMACK!

“SHUT UP!” Tweek’s body shook. He looked like he wanted to slap Craig again but instead pointed his finger menacingly. “IT'S NOT PRETEND! I have loved and cared for Stripe. I AM HIS MAMA AND HE IS MY BABY!”

“TWEEK! Listen to yourself! We let this go on for too long. We are growing attached to something that was never gonna happen…” Craig grabbed Tweek's shoulders trying to reason with his husband. “This isn't right. We need to do what's best for Stripe.”

Tweek pushed back, “A-And what exactly is THAT?”

Craig hesitated before answering, “Kenny… he's ready to start changing Stripe back into a guinea pig.”

Tweek stumbled in shock. His face became ashen and he used their dresser to stay upright. “W-what? When did…”

Craig pointed to the phone in Tweek's hand. “He texted me four days ago.”

Tweek scrambled to unlock the phone. He quickly found the message Craig had been hopelessly staring at before the confrontation. Tears filled his eyes as he looked at the proof staring right at him.

“I called him as soon as I read the message. He's confident the treatment will work. It will take a few rounds to fully transform but he will be completely changed back.” Craig explained calmly. “We can finally go back to the way things were before.”

“No.”

Craig almost missed Tweek's quiet rejection. “Honey, please. I know this is hard but it's what's best.”

“BEST FOR WHO! Who benefits from this? Stripe is happy just the way he is! I-I'm happy! All our friends and family are happy! I-I thought you were happy… Craig, a-aren't you happy?” The tears in Tweek's eyes finally spilled over.

“OF COURSE I AM!” Craig yelled, revealing the tear marks on his face. “You and Stripe are my happiness. I hate seeing you like this but I can't let Stripe live a life he never chose. We are his parents, Tweek. We put his needs above our wants.”

Craig tried to place a comforting hand on Tweek's shoulder, but he was shrugged off. “I'm sleeping in Stripe's room tonight.”

Craig silently watched Tweek leave. This night had been a disaster. He could only hope that Tweek would calmly reflect on his words and understand where he was coming from.“

Well you handled that spectacularly.”

Craig's eyes narrowed. He was not in the mood to discuss his problems with anyone, especially not his sister.

“Buzz off, I'm not in the mood to talk.”

“Good! Cause all you need is to listen.” Tricia said, adopting a stern pose. “You are a blind and selfish piece of sh*t. Your pitiful noble act is not convincing anyone. All this talk about putting Stripe first is nonsense and you know it. Just do us all a favor and admit you never wanted to be a dad. At least then we would believe your need to change Stripe back.”

“That’s not true, I loved pretending to be a father.” Craig argued back.

“But that's all it was, pretend. This was all just a fun game of house you got a chance to play with Tweek. Now you're jumping at the chance to end this charade and put your baby doll away.”

“Shut up! Don't put words in my mouth. This was never a game. You don't know how hard it is to set things right when it makes you miserable.”

“Craig, be honest. Why is it so important for Stripe to be a guinea pig? Do you truly think Stripe can't live happily by being human? Is it such a bad thing to let things go on as they have in the last two months?”

Craig felt his gut stir with conflicted feelings. “I just don't want him to hate us for this. When he's older and he realizes where he comes from, he's gonna think we're selfish monsters”

Tricia scoffed, “And what if he doesn't? You are so hung up on a future you have no way of predicting that you are throwing away what's in front of you. “ She sighed before changing her tone. “Craig, do you remember when Mom and I used to fight all the time?”

Craig snorted, “You still do.”

“Whatever, back when I was in Highschool, it was worse. We would yell all the time and Dad would always try to mediate between us. One time, I actually told Mom I hated her and wished she was dead. I felt really guilty about it afterwards but I still remember what she said to me then. She said parenting is about doing things that'll make your kids hate you for the right reason.”

“Trish, I… you're right. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. Now are you done moping about the future or are you ready to be a present father.”

“Only if my kid has an awesome aunt to pull my head out of my *ss.”

They shook hands before breaking out their signature middle fingers.

“You better go find Tweek and apologize for being an idiot.”

“I’m not sure that's a good idea. Tweek doesn't normally want to see me when he's this mad. Maybe I should let him sleep on it.”

“Or you can stop being a p*ssy and go talk to your husband like an adult.”

Craig took offense and stormed out determined to prove his sister wrong. He almost lost his courage in front of his son's closed door, but ultimately gave a firm knock.

“Tweek, Honey. I need to talk to you. I…you were right. I was being a coward and ignored what was best for our family… Honey, please talk to me. I need to know we are on the same page moving forward.”

Craig pressed his hand against the door and was surprised to see the door wasn't fully closed. As the door opened he noticed Tweek was not in the room and to his shock neither was Stripe.

“Tweek… TWEEK! Honey! Where are you? ANSWER ME PLEASE!”

Craig frantically began to search his house. He almost missed his parents and sister stepping out into the hallway. They were alarmed by Craig's shouting.

“Craig what's going on? Why are you yelling?”

“I-I can't find Tweek or Stripe!”

The Tuckers quickly spread out in search of the missing family members. Tricia checked the bathroom. Laura searched the kitchen. Finally Thomas opened the front door to make a grim discovery.

“Craig, your car is missing.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stripe whined in exhaustion. His mama had taken him out of his warm bed and strapped him to his cold car seat. His eyes lazily wandered to the window where he could see more cold white stuff falling from the sky.

Stripe's eyes were heavy with sleep but every time he closed them, the car would jolt and his mama would make a frightened sound. Just as he was dozing off for the last time, he was jerked awake when the car started to spin. He heard his Mama shriek, “OH GOD!” before he heard a loud CRASH.

Ch32

Ch34

[scribble-dribble-writes]

Plastic Hearts - (23)

<<<Prev Next>>>

---

Sometimes you've got to take the shots your given

---

Your fingers dug into the cushion of Midge’s seat while she held onto her baby bump. The security cameras where providing live footage of the Nomads cornering Ken and Allan.

It all happened so fast. The shouts, the chase and the wreckage. You could only watch helplessly as Ken crashed onto the tarmac, his hand holding his satchel close to protect it from any impact.

The motorcycle laid to the side, the second wheel torn out of its hinge as smoke ebbed from the vehicle. Allan turned over to lay on his back as he caught his breath but he was up on his feet much sooner than Ken.

It was hard to see, the details weren’t sharp enough and without any sound, you were unable to make out the nature of this meeting.

Were they after the water sample or were they after your crew?

Or could it be possible they just wanted Ken?

Questions raced through your mind without an answer in sight.

-

Ken scrunched his nose, he was sure it was broken. His knuckles throbbed in pain and the jerk from the bike was enough to cause his head to feel like it was being crushed. His helmet had prevented most of what could have been major damage. But he dusted his hands and got up. Healing was almost instant in Barbieland, so he put the pain in hindsight.

He shook off his nerves from the impact and stood up to face the crowd. The cars circled around them, making sure there was no room to run. Allan touched his arm, concern in his eyes but Ken smiled to give him a curt nod such that he could know that he was alright.

“Why won’t you come play with us, Ken?”, Backflip Ken got off his motorcycle, his voice drenched in a tone of mockery.

“Or do you just think you’re better than all of us?”, was the second question but this one was filled with anger.

He walked towards them, now almost close enough but Ken still had the advantage of his height. He wasn’t going to be intimidated or insecure, that was the old version. So he stood his ground.

Spotting a name tag worn around his neck, Ken drew in a deep breath.

“What do you want, Ash?”, he asked, to which he only received a sarcastic smile.

“Oh wow, he addresses people by their names now. Looks like he finally stopped being obsessed with himself.”, Ash grinned getting closer to sling an arm around Ken’s shoulders but the nature of it wasn’t friendly. It was like a lasso being tightened around a horse neck.

“Do you know the reason behind the name?”, he hummed with repressed rage as he paraded him around within the circle.

“No.”, Ken responded, his eyes looking out to make sure Allan was unharmed.

“Right. I’ll give you a little flashback.”, he nodded sympathetically.

“See there was this little witch. She wasn’t happy, got her plastic heart broken and then decided to be selfish and open the portals of disaster.”, he laughed but it had an edge of grief and agony.

“So she disappeared but you know what happens next? Our homes turn to ash and wither away. My friends, my Barbie, turn into frozen dolls, while we try to live out here in this desert.”, he yelled.

Ken could understand his pain, it wasn’t fair what had happened to them but neither was it your fault either.

“I got tired of being a Ken that was never allowed to be happy. But Ash, it serves as a reminder to what we have lost.”, he sobered as he let Ken go.

It was possible that all this needed was a diplomatic conversation. Ken did that very well. He had dealt with entitled parents or controlling mothers and would often have to step in to solve fights that kids had gotten themselves into.

“So what do you want?”, Ken questioned to which Ash clapped his hands together in excitement.

“A business man getting straight to the point. You and I are alike, we have always been. That’s also why we could never get along, but now, it might serve to our advantage.”, he raised his eyebrows as though he was working through a plan as he spoke.

“You’re are hero, whether you like it or not. You used your lover boy skill set to great lenghts and lured her back here. Very cunning.”, he smiled but Ken stayed quite.

His feelings were true and he didn’t need to prove that to anyone. But Ash thinking the opposite might work to his advantage.

“What I want is payback.”, he said plainly.

“I want her to feel the pain of losing something she loves.”, he grinned.

“I don’t understand where this is going.”, Ken shifted his weight, haunted for a second.

“You’ve done it before. So doing it the second time around shouldn’t be hard. In fact, with the way she looks at you. It’s going to be much easier.”, Ash patted his arm in glee and held out his hand towards Ken.

“So what do you say? Break her heart and hand her over to us.”, he stated his deal.

Ken took a moment, his eyes drifting to Allan, who was telling him to say no. But he was losing time, all he had to do was get back to base and without his motorcycle, he and Allan were stranded.

“I don’t know, she’s back at the base and you’ve wrecked my bike.”, Ken played into his hands, putting on his cool sauve demeanor as he shrugged his shoulders.

Ash’s smile widened.

“We’ll escort you back, choose your favourite ride.”, he extended his arms to showoff his arsenal of vehicles.

“So what do you say?”, he held out his hand again.

“What are we waiting for?”, Ken smiled as he shook his hand.

-

You watched in confusion as the soundless video displayed Ken and the leader of the Nomads coming to some form of agreement. It eased your pulse. They were out of harm’s way and he was headed back, this truly was the end of all this divide and chaos.

Everyone in the surveillance room breathed a sigh of relief except for weird Barbie, she still had a eyes of the screen.

“What is it?”, you questioned as you stood next to her.

“I had tried to broker peace with him before but it would never work.”, she spoke as she was trying to piece it together.

“So it just doesn’t feel right that he is willing to do so now.”, she explained further and that pseudo sense of peace you had was lost.

---

Tags:

@imogen-skye @ateliefloresdaprimavera @meowkid1000 @jokersgrf @linacool13 @oh-kurva @dreamsarenicer @livelaughlaufeyy @babyimjustken @tempobaekh @fallingwallsh @whatafreakingloser @lcversrockk @imonmyvigilanteshh @constellationscharts @eddiemunson4ever @freyafriggafrey @neptunelixir @floralsightings @ynbutbetter @lazyboikat @mrharringtonsbae @spookyscellar @haydensith @weasleytwinscumslut @kensthetic @itstylersblog @lee-lee-23 @dazeglitter-blog @urmom24sworld @chaos-in-person @aremos @theoriginalwife000 @undercover-being-whack @puredreamagination @h-l-vlovesvintage @krazyk99 @agustdeeyaa @bluebear19 @berlinswifey @suzirumas @faustlyaccused @rennydenny @paintmekala @leafyturtle

@lafy-taffy @blossomingrose @dark-hunter16 @marvellover31415 @hope4rain19 @starstruck-loner @jell0buss-17