#and not immediately getting eaten by the giant fucking snakes

[activatingaggro]

2 - WORLD&NPC META

An important part of doing prompts is.. posting them? Sounds fake!

Anyway, I’ve been on a Dalai-Uud kick for the first three days of this! Sunday shifts gears back to more familiar territory, but first off, for Friday’s “WORLD/CHARA META/NPC PROFILES”, I’m digging into the question of:

What is Dalai-Uud?

Dalai-Uud is a district in the northern half of Carnac, the continent that Reba and I have shoved all of our planetbound fantroll lore. It’s more in line with the default setting of Homestuck: other areas have more laws and regulations, are more urbanised and diverse, but Dalai-Uud is akin to the area in which Aradia, Tavros or Terezi lived. It’s a big region, filled with plains and cliffs in the coast and core, and then mountains along its borders. In terms of population, it’s one of the most sparsely occupied districts: trolls are rare, their numbers spread thin, and population centers don’t exist to the same extent they do elsewhere.

It’s a sharp contrast to heavily crowded areas like Hanhai or Sanxing, where you sneeze and hit four trolls underfoot. It’s stark even compared to the less crowded districts, like Terquia or Vigenere. In Alternian history, trolls have repeatedly tried to colonise the majority of Dalai-Uud - it’s simply never worked well.

And the reason behind it is because it’s filled with giant fucking kaiju.

Life for the handful of residents in Dalai-Uud is largely focused around staying away from the massive herds of musclebeasts and other megafauna that occupy the district. The entire area is seen, on a legal standpoint, as a sort of game reserve - it’s the only place where these population of giant fucking animals have the food, the environment, and the sheer fucking space to maintain their size, and for as long as musclebeast hunting remains a thrill, so they will remain in the area.

As a result, Dalai-Uud residents - or Gaters, as they’re frequently referred to, a reference towards the meaning of their district name - are always on the move. During the summer, the musclebeasts head in-land, and the trolls head to the coast. During the winter, the musclebeasts head to the coasts, and the trolls flee to the mountains. Making it to adulthood and the point of joining the Fleet is fairly rare for Gaters, and they’re not commonly found in the Fleet. The majority of their cohorts each sweep end up simply leaving the area for safer districts, lowering the populations, and as a result, lowering the survival rate of the trolls who remain.

While megafauna reign over the whole district, and many of them do possess the lusus fluke that would allow them to become guardians over a troll, it’s relatively rare for a pupa to actually be chosen by any of the districts’ megafauna. The most docile and tame of the Dalai-Uud guardian lusii, as the megafauna are called, were taken from the district millenia back by the population of trolls that would eventually become the Rickshaw diaspora. The remaining species that can play host to the lusus fluke tend to be poor parents: aggressive, neglectful, fast-tempered, and generally poor at keeping their small, easily forgotten charges alive.

One of the only exceptions to this are the citylusii. These are large, armoured lusii that were deliberately cultivated by early Gaters to serve as population centers, in the far-off nights before the districts’ population had begun dispersing. Turtles are the most common of the species, but armadillos and pangolins, hitting over sixty feet in length, are not entirely unknown. The city lusus generally have one charge, usually of the same bloodline, guaranteed to hatch out in a routine cycle from the local caverns. This charge will serve more as a guardian to their lusus than they will a ward of, because city lusii aren’t just one trolls responsibility: historically, the major institutions of Dalai-Uud have literally been built upon their backs, and even long after Imperial unification, those structures remain.

The city lusii generally have one or two buildings built atop or within them, and the rest of their bodies tend to be covered in a scattershot of tents. They live in a symbiotic relationship with the trolls who live astride them: the trolls feed them, protect them, and care for them, and in exchange, the lusus is a deterrent and protective agent against the megafauna that roam the continent. A city of trolls is easy prey, but it becomes harder when reaching them necessitates coming well within biting range of the snapping turtle they live upon.

The city lusii have very specific names and jobs: one hosts the head of bank centralisation, another hosts legal and social libraries, another holds a seed-bank, another serves as the main method through which each cohort of trolls gains schoolfeeds. However, the decentralisation of the Dalai-Uud population means this doesn’t always work outside of theory. When almost every troll lives on their own, miles and miles away from their peers, the sight of a massive lusus in the distance isn’t one that draws them in - for those who have not, through the internet, or books, or their peers, realised the history of their district, the sight of rogue megafauna is just a sign they need to retreat underground and wait for the threat to pass.

As a result, Dalai-Uud trolls are generally a little more uneducated than their peers, and for the rare few that actually survive and make it to reaching the Fleet, kind of complete fucking hayseeds. Schoolfeeds? History? Culture? They learned to make guns and process their fields, and they’re pretty sure that’s all anyone actually needs.

[joe-mazzello-archive]

Drops of Jupiter - Part Two

Summary: A story about how one extremely unassuming person became the most important person you had ever met. And then he broke your heart. And then you broke his. Only fair, right?

Word Count: 11k, I AM SO SORRY someone take google docs away from me

Rating: 18+

Warnings: dash of fluff, dash of angst, dash of smut, little of everything my friends

A/N: surprise! almost three months later, and we’re finally back with part two. this monster is going to be at LEAST another two parts. maybe three? we’ll see how wordy i get. i hope you guys enjoy. taglist is still open :)

As soon as you heard the comforting sound of the door clicking, you let out a shaky breath and dropped all of your clothes onto the floor. You glanced at yourself in the mirror; you were quite a sight. Stark naked, hair a mess. You looked absolutely fucked out. Your pussy throbbed with arousal, contracting around nothing. You took a deeper breath and attempted to put yourself together, the distant voices of Joe interacting with your other friends downstairs bringing you back to reality. Once you were as satisfied as you could be (considering you hadn’t been satisfied in that way), you made your way downstairs in what felt like a weird version of the walk of shame.

Joe, Rob, and the rest of the condo’s inhabitants were congregating in the kitchen when you made your awkward entrance.

“Sorry for the cockblock,” Rob said with a chuckle, causing you to roll your eyes. He always did lack a filter.

“It’s okay,” you answered with a shrug. “We’ll just fuck in your bed to make up for it.” Joe threw his head back and let out a deep belly laugh and you beamed. Any time you could make him laugh felt like a victory. Rob rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Still earning that nickname, Miss Chaos,” Rob countered with a smirk. You shook your head, trying to hide your grin while flipping him off.

“Well,” you said, slapping both hands down on the kitchen counter. “I still feel like shit from being fucking drugged and I haven’t eaten yet. So if you will all excuse me.” You shot Joe a quick glance, curious to see how he’d react, before heading towards the front door.

“I’m pretty hungry, too,” came Joe’s voice from behind you and you grinned at your success. Once you had both made it to the hallway, his arm snaked around your back to grip your hip and pull you into him. You giggled as your bodies bumped together as you walked. “Pizza?”

“Pizza.”

The two of you wandered down the street in search of the pizza place your group often frequented when everyone was in town. Once you reached your destination, you each ordered a slice and took a seat at a small table in the corner.

“Hey remember that time we tried to have sex in the condo and then everyone got back and we had to stop?” Joe asked sarcastically. You chuckled and rolled your eyes, gently kicking him under the table.

“Yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday. Or maybe less than an hour ago,” you replied with a wink. Joe grinned back at you, and, fuck, there wasn’t a more beautiful sight than that man’s smile. You could stare at his face for hours.

“Well, here we are,” he countered. “Fully clothed. Completely sober. Not a roofie in sight.” You cringed and he noticed. “Too soon?” You chuckled.

“Considering it hasn’t even been twenty four hours, I’d say so,” you replied.

“What I’m trying to say is this is the first time we’ve been alone with no distractions,” Joe explained. You arched an eyebrow, curious as to where he was going with this. “So tell me about yourself.”

So you did. You told him about your family back in your home state. You talked about your job and told horror stories about customers you’d encountered. You complained about your roommate. You gushed about your favorite movies and tv shows. All the while, Joe listened. Like, actually listened. He asked questions and laughed along at your jokes. He brought up things that he had seen you post on social media over the past year and you were surprised he had remembered. His eyes lit up every time he learned something new. It felt different…you felt like you could be yourself with no hesitation. Nothing holding you back. It was freeing.

Then it was his turn. He passionately ranted about his life back home. He hated his job but it paid the bills. He was close with his family and had a ride-or-die group of friends he always got into trouble with. He dreamed of traveling the world, a passion instilled in him by his great aunt. He loved video games and his guilty pleasure was reality tv shows.

You were lost in him, transfixed on every word he said. You wanted to listen to him talk for hours and hours and hours. And you quickly realized you had. The pizza had long been eaten, the table long since cleared. The two of you decided to start heading back to the condo to see what the game plan was for the rest of the evening. But you didn’t want him to stop.

“Finish your story,” you requested, nudging him in the shoulder as you began your walk back to your building.

“Oh come on, I’m sure you’ve gotta be tired of me talking by now,” Joe replied, nudging you back. You chuckled and shook your head.

“Not in the slightest.” In fact, you’d never get tired of him talking. You barely watched where you were walking, you were so captivated by him. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. The way his hands never stopped moving as he spoke. The way he got excited whenever you’d ask a question he could answer.

By the time the two of you walked through the front door of your condo, he was excitedly recounting a story from his recent trip to Thailand. The two of you plopped down on your bed as he pulled out his phone, showing you picture after picture of the places he saw and the people he had met.

It suddenly occurred to you what made him so enrapturing. His passion. The man was so goddamn passionate. He was passionate in the way he told stories, so animated and full of life. He was passionate in the way he had kissed you, holding you close and giving it his all. He was just passionate about life. It was both attractive and inspiring. You’d never met someone so fervent and free in your entire life.

And that’s when you knew you were fucked.

No longer was this a hookup between friends, a quick little summer fling to tide you over. You had caught feelings. And as the man in front of you enthusiastically detailed his experiences in Phuket, a slight sadness overcame you. Because in a few days time, this man -- this beautiful, clever, funny, and passionate man -- would board a plane back home. And you wouldn’t see him for another year.

You were so fucked.

The sound of the front door opening brought you out of your trance. You both turned to see Dan and Matt entering, each holding a snow cone. Dan’s face immediately hardened at the sight of Joe. You jumped to your feet in an instant, passing by a confused Matt and grabbing Dan’s arm, pulling him out into the hallway with you and slamming the door behind you.

“I thought I made it clear that he was not welcome--”

“He didn’t do it,” you cut in, shutting him up. “I promise you he didn’t. There was another guy at the bar who did it. I’m certain of it.” Dan was still tense, a frown taking up residence on his face. You adored Dan. As the oldest of your friends, he had accidentally become the leader of the crew. He booked the condo, organized airport pickups, and attempted to rally your friends for group outings when he could. He was your big brother essentially, and you knew he cared about you. He had met Joe last year when you did, so who could blame him for not trusting his character? He didn’t really know him. You hadn’t before now.

“I just--” he began, taking a breath before continuing. “When I saw him try to get into your bed after you had passed out, I snapped. I didn’t want him to try anything.” You reached out and pulled him into a hug, being careful to mind the melting snow cone he still had in his hand.

“Thank you for looking out for me,” you replied before pulling away and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “I appreciate you. But Joe is one of the good ones.” Dan let out a sigh. 

“He still needs to sleep in his own bed,” he argued. “But his ban has been lifted.” You enveloped him in another hug, this time forgetting about the snow cone. You squealed as some of the blue liquid dripped onto your skin and finally Dan broke, laughing at your reaction. You nodded towards the door, and the two of you rejoined the rest of your friends who were huddled around the living room, chatting about who knows what.

A hush fell over the room as you and Dan made your entrance.

“Hey, Joe,” Dan said, breaking the awkward silence. He nodded toward the hallway you had just come from. “Wanna chat?”

Joe shot you a look, almost as if he was asking if it was safe. You smiled and nodded, signalling that things were good. 

“Yeah, sure,” Joe replied with a slight smile, getting to his feet and following Dan out, but not before giving your hand a quick squeeze as he passed. The touch brought that same heat to your chest you’d been feeling since that first night. Fuck, you wanted him. No, needed him. You two needed to find a way to get privacy while he was here or you were going to burst.

✧✧✧

After grabbing dinner as one big group at a nearby Mexican restaurant, everyone voted to skip the normal nighttime itinerary of heading out to the bars. What with your...incident...and the fact that everyone was exhausted from the first two nights of partying, the group agreed that it was better to have a relaxing night-in.

So you did what a huge group of nerds looking for a calm night-in did best: grabbed every blanket and pillow you could find, made a giant cuddle puddle in the living room, and queued up The Fellowship of the Ring.

You ended up sandwiched between Kayla and Joe on the couch, snuggled under a cozy blanket with a giant bowl of popcorn on your lap. As you watched the movie, passing around the popcorn amongst your friends, you found yourself sneaking peeks at Joe out of the corner of your eye every once in a while. How he could be so effortlessly good-looking clad in a plain t-shirt made absolutely no sense. You noticed him shift slightly and you snuck a peek at him again, only to be met with him looking directly at you with a smile. You felt your face heat up, knowing you had been caught. Joe simply rolled his bottom lip through his teeth and winked at you. And just when you thought your body’s temperature couldn’t increase anymore, you felt Joe’s hand come to a rest on your thigh under the blanket. Fuck, it took every fiber of your being not to jump his bones right then and there. But you kept your composure, letting the man trace gentle shapes across your skin with his thumb. And none of your friends were the wiser.

You hadn’t even realized you had fallen asleep until you felt movement next to you, bringing you back to reality. You had dozed off on Joe’s shoulder, who himself had fallen asleep as well, his hand still resting on your thigh. The movement turned out to be Kayla getting up to move to her bed, and you quickly noticed most of the room had emptied out. You turned towards the slumbering Joe and smiled. God, he was even gorgeous while he was sleeping. You reached up and gently caressed his stubble.

“Hey, you,” you said softly, trying not to startle him. His eyes blinked rapidly a few times as he took in his surroundings before settling on you and smiling.

“Hey, beautiful,” he replied, sending instant heat to your cheeks. How he managed to continue to fluster you, you’d never know. You pinched his cheek, causing him to crinkle his face at the action.

“Bedtime?”

“Yeah that’s probably a good idea.”

You stood up first, offering a hand to Joe and yanking him to his feet. He glanced around the room for a few moments, almost as if he was looking for something or someone, and you watched him curiously. When his eyes met yours again, in an instant he slid his arm around you and pulled you into a bruising kiss.

You kissed him back eagerly, a soft moan vibrating through your throat as you slid your hands up his chest. But as fast as he had initiated the kiss he pulled away, staring at you intensely for a moment.

“Walk with me,” he said before grabbing his phone and heading towards the front door. Confused and a tad flustered from the kiss, you followed him obediently, grabbing your own phone and sliding on a pair of flip flops.

Instead of turning left and heading towards his own condo, he turned right and pushed open the door to the stairwell. You had no idea where he was leading you, but of course you were going to follow him. You were right on his heels as he climbed up the steps, passing the other floors of the condo building before leading you to the last door at the top of the staircase, with red letters painted on it: ROOF ACCESS. With a smirk, he opened the door and gestured through it.

“After you.”

Eyeing him with a suspicious look, you passed through the door and out into the night. The warm breeze of the evening hit your skin and you relaxed instantly. You floated over to the railing at the edge of the roof and leaned on it, looking out onto the street below. The city was gorgeous and so full of life. The sounds of cars passing and people enjoying the nightlife echoed below you. You couldn’t help but smile. Joe leaned on the railing right next to you.

“I’m not having sex with you on a dirty rooftop, if that’s what you’re thinking,” you announced, breaking the silence. Joe let out a hearty laugh before placing a kiss on your shoulder.

“As much as I would like to eventually have my way with you,” he replied, sending a chill down your spine at the thought. “I just wanted to talk.”

You turned to look at Joe fully. He truly was breathtaking. The glow of the city lights reflected on his face, painting his skin in blues and pinks and yellows. You wanted to frame the image of him, standing there looking at you like you put the moon in the sky.

“I’ve got two more full days here before I head home,” he said, shattering the illusion. You turned to face the city once again and let out a sigh. Must he bring reality into this? Couldn’t he just be like you and enjoy the moment? Did he have to be so smart and responsible?

“I know,” you answered. “Is that what you brought me up here to tell me?” You raised an eyebrow as you eyed the man next to you. He chuckled at your question.

“I wanted to see...I wanted to ask you…” he paused, trying to find the words. “What happens once I go home? To us?”

You felt your chest tighten. It made your heart soar and break simultaneously. It made you breathe a sigh of relief that he appeared to be feeling the same way you did. He was worried what the future brought because he wanted you, too.

But honestly, you had been dreading this conversation. Not because you knew what you had to say and you didn’t want to say it. No, you weren’t looking forward to this talk because you had no idea what to say. You didn’t want this to end. The selfish part of you wanted to do this for real, to make him yours and let him claim you as his. But long distance was complicated and messy. You had done it before and it had ended poorly, and that guy had only lived an hour from you. Joe lived over 700 miles away. A two-hour plane trip. A fucking fourteen-hour car ride. That was the kind of relationship that took a lot of work.

And to make that commitment to someone you had only just started something with? It seemed crazy. Unrealistic.

But to say goodbye and end whatever the two of you were doing outright? It hurt to think about.

However there was always the third option: decide not to decide.

“How about this?” you began, immediately capturing Joe’s attention. “How about we enjoy ourselves the next two days? And then when you go home, we can just…take it a day at a time. We don’t make any commitments but we don’t end things altogether. We just...see where the wind takes us.”

Joe studied you for a moment, as if he was trying to get a read on you. Trying to see if there was anything underlying in your proposal. He took a step forward and reached for you, his hands settling on the exposed skin just above your shorts. You instinctively let your arms wrap around his torso as well, pulling him as close to you as you could.

“Sounds like a plan,” he practically whispered before placing a kiss on your forehead. You leaned up and placed a hand on his cheek, bringing his lips to yours. 

Something about this kiss was different. While most of your other kisses had been fiery and passionate, exchanged in the heat of the moment, this one was slow and delicate. Like you were taking your time and memorizing the feeling of each other’s lips, knowing you had a finite number of kisses remaining.

You didn’t stay too much longer on the roof, the pair of you completely exhausted. As you both made your way back to the door to the building, Joe’s hand found yours, interlacing his fingers and squeezing. He held your hand all the way back down the stairs to your floor. As you approached the door to your condo, he brought your hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“Goodnight, beautiful.”

“Goodnight.”

You quietly slipped into the condo, knowing that everyone was probably asleep. As you collapsed on your bed, the events of the past three days ran through your head like a highlight reel. As each memory played back, you couldn’t help but think about Joe. In just three days he had woven his way into your life like no one else had before. And you couldn’t be happier.

You drifted off to sleep with a smile on your face, thinking of nothing but the beautiful man two doors down. And you couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking about you, too.

✧✧✧

Not waking up with a hangover was a marvelous thing. For the first time since the week began, you actually felt refreshed and ready to conquer the day.

But you were also insanely horny.

Not only had Joe invaded your life in the best way possible (you weren’t complaining by any means), but last night he had also invaded your dreams. Before you woke up, you had been enjoying an extremely arousing vision where Joe’s face had taken up permanent residence between your thighs.

And now you were determined to make that reality.

As you showered and got ready for the day, you wracked your brain for a way to get him alone without the worry of your friends interrupting you. You were exiting the bathroom, headed downstairs to hear what the plan was for the day, when you were greeted with a series of loud cheers.

“HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, MOTHER FUCKERS!” Matt’s booming voice rang out throughout the entire condo. You chuckled as you descended the stairs into the living room.

“Excited are we?” you jested as you plopped down on the couch.

“Fuck yeah! Let’s blow some shit up tonight!” Nick added, pumping his first into the air.

“Considering we’re in the middle of the city, I think we should just let the experts take care of the fireworks,” Kayla countered with a laugh as she took the seat next to you.

“So do we have a gameplan for the day?” you asked as you wrapped your arms around Kayla and pulled her against your chest.

“I was thinking we could go for a swim in the river and then just hang out in the park for the fireworks show later,” Dan replied with a shrug, trying to play it casual as if he hadn’t been planning it all week. The friends that had gathered in the living room all sounded their agreements. You liked the idea yourself until you realized something: you hadn’t packed your bathing suit.

“I’d love to join you guys,” you commented. “But I will have to run up to my apartment to grab my swimsuit.”

And that’s when it clicked. Your apartment. You had a perfectly empty apartment a couple of miles north of the city. That’s how you were going to get your privacy with Joe.

“No worries, we probably won’t be heading there for a few hours,” Dan responded, pulling you from your thoughts. With a nod, you pulled out your phone to shoot Joe a text.

You: Want to go on a short adventure?

His reply was almost instant.

Joe: Should I be afraid?

You: Not at all, haha. I need to run up to my apartment to grab my bathing suit for today. My EMPTY apartment...if you catch my drift.

Joe: Drift definitely caught. I’m on my way over to you.

You took a deep breath, trying to contain your excitement. Almost seconds later there was a knock on the front door.

“I’ll get it!” you shouted, way too enthusiastically, completely dropping your attempt to be casual. You yanked the door open to reveal the source of your sexual frustration that morning. He greeted you with a chaste kiss before stepping inside to say hello to the rest of the condo inhabitants. You snatched up your purse, keys, and phone before sliding on your flip flops and grabbing Joe by the wrist.

“We’ll see you guys in an hour or so!” you called over your shoulder as you practically dragged Joe out the door, eager to get on with the day’s events. You let Joe’s arm go but continued to head down the hallway quickly before being pushed against the wall, letting out an “oof” as Joe’s body covered yours.

“You seem to be in a hurry,” he commented, his hands sliding down your sides before settling on your hips. “Got somewhere you need to be?” You keened into his touch as flashes of last night’s dream played across your mind. 

“Just want to get you alone,” you murmured, running your fingernails across his shoulder blades. Your lips connected as he pressed his body firmly against yours. “You trying to get me all riled up? Because I’m already at that point.”

“Oh yeah?” he mumbled into the sensitive skin of your neck. “Already?”

“Might have had a dream about you last night,” you sighed as you slid your hands around his neck to land on his chest. You felt him groan as he pressed his forehead to your chest.

“Okay, as soon as we get to your apartment, you are explaining the dream in detail,” he stated as he pulled away. You chuckled and grabbed his hand, lacing your fingers with his and leading him towards the parking garage.

Before you knew it the two of you were flying down the highway in your car with the windows rolled down, blasting music and singing along. You glanced over at Joe, still amazed at the man’s effortless beauty. He grinned back at you, and you felt that familiar tickle in your stomach. You couldn’t remember the last time you had felt this way about a person.

The song changed and you couldn’t help but smile as one of your favorite songs ever began to play.

Now that she's back in the atmosphere / 

With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey / 

She acts like summer and walks like rain / 

Reminds me that there's a-time to change, hey, hey / 

Since the return of her stay on the moon / 

She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey / 

Hey, hey / 

But tell me did you sail across the sun / 

Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded / 

And that heaven is overrated? / 

Tell me did you fall from a shooting star / 

One without a permanent scar / 

And did you miss me while you were / 

looking for yourself out there? / 

You sang along as you drove, feeling unafraid to belt out the lyrics. While other people sometimes made you feel self-conscious, Joe’s presence simply calmed you, letting you be yourself, free from judgment. You finished singing the pop song just as you pulled into the parking garage of your apartment building.

“I could listen to you sing for hours,” Joe commented as he climbed out of your car. You felt your cheeks warm once again.

“You flatter me,” you replied as you joined him on the other side of the car. You grabbed his hand once again before the two of you headed into your building and down the hall.

“So your roommate won’t be home?” Joe clarified as you both made your way towards your apartment door.

“Nah, she’s always at her boyfriend’s,” you explained as you came to a stop in front of your door, sliding your key into the lock. “Especially since today is the Fourth--”

Your words faded away as you opened your apartment door to reveal your roommate, her boyfriend, and two older adults sitting in the living room. Fuck.

“Oh hey!” your roommate greeted. You and Joe awkwardly entered the small apartment, fake smiles plastered on your faces.

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you to be home!” you stated, trying to hide your annoyance at the situation. The one time you needed the apartment to yourself, she’s home. With guests.

“Oh yeah, my parents are in town for the holiday, and we’re just hanging out here for a little bit before we head to the park to watch fireworks,” she explained, gesturing to the others seated around the room who each waved at you. You gave a quick wave in response before remembering you had Joe next to you.

“Very cool,” you responded awkwardly as you started to make your way towards your bedroom. “Um, this is my friend, Joe.” Joe followed behind you, giving the group a quick wave as well. The group let out a chorus of greetings as the two of you finally closed the distance to your bedroom door.

You pulled Joe inside and closed the door, ending the awkward exchange.

“Well, so much for privacy,” you groaned, plopping down on your bed and throwing an arm across your eyes. When Joe didn’t respond after a few moments, you leaned up on your elbows to see Joe wandering around your room, a slight smile on his face. “What are you doing?”

“A person’s bedroom can tell you a lot about that person,” he replied before his eyes met yours. “I’m learning all I can about you.” You couldn’t help but mirror his smile. You sat up on the bed, reaching your arms out and making grabby hands at him. All you could think about was just touching him. He chuckled and stepped towards you, allowing you to pull him towards you.

“My diabolical plan to fuck you senseless in my apartment has failed,” you commented, your voice low as you ran your hands up and down his sides. Joe let out a long hum as he leaned down to rest his forehead against yours, his hands sliding up your thighs. You held back a whimper at his touch. Fuck, you were so fucking horny and you just needed this man more than anything.

“What if we’re just really quiet?” he proposed, his voice thick with want. You groaned as his fingers strayed closer and closer to the place you wanted them.

“I don’t know if I’m capable of being quiet,” you countered. “Besides, these walls are paper thin. I would know. My roommate and her boyfriend are not as quiet as they think they are.” You cringed at the memory, the night that made you add “ear plugs” to your next shopping list. “They did say they were heading to the park. Maybe we can just wait it out?”

“Fine by me.”

So you waited. The two of you chatted, you sharing stories about objects displayed in your room and him laughing along to those stories. You mutually decided to keep your hands to yourselves for the time being, wordlessly agreeing that it would only lead to more sexual tension. You both kept your ears open to the sounds coming from the living room, hoping to hear a shuffle of feet and a door closing to signal that you were alone.

But an hour later, laughter and idle chatter still sounded from the other side of the wall, leaving you and Joe bored, hungry, and sexually frustrated.

“Well, I have no idea when these people are gonna leave,” you suddenly announced. “So I think I should just grab my bathing suit and we can go grab some food before we head back downtown.” Joe let out a sigh next to you.

“I think that’s probably a good idea,” he agreed. You leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before pushing yourself off of the bed. You yanked open a drawer from your dresser and pulled out the first bathing suit you saw.

“Are you really planning on getting undressed and putting that suit on right now, in front of me, and expecting me not to jump your bones?” Joe asked incredulously, still sprawled across your mattress. You turned to face him with a giggle.

“I would never be that cruel,” you countered before heading into your bathroom and closing the door behind you. You let out a deep breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You couldn’t remember another time where you had this much sexual tension with someone before. You cursed the universe for presenting you with this beautiful, funny, charming man but not letting you have him the way you wanted.

After pulling on your bikini and throwing your street clothes on top of it, you rejoined Joe in your bedroom, finding him tapping away at his phone. He glanced up at your entrance and that familiar, contagious smile of his appeared.

“Shall we?”

The two of your made your awkward exit from the apartment, you squeaking out a “see ya” to your roommate and her company. You piled back into your car and made your way towards your favorite burger joint that happened to be halfway between your apartment and the downtown condo. The pair of you had realized you hadn’t eaten at all that day and were tearing into your burgers and fries when your phone buzzed.

Kayla: we’re heading over to the river now, so you guys can just meet us there

You replied with a thumbs up emoji and went back to devouring your lunch.

“Who was that?” Joe asked, his voice muffled by the fries he had stuffed into his mouth.

“Kayla,” you replied quickly, not wanting to pause eating for too long. “She said they’re all headed to the river, so we can just go straight there instead of back to the condo.” Joe finally swallowed and reached for his soda.

“Well I don’t have my suit with me, so we have to go back to my condo anyway…”

Joe trailed off as you processed his statement. Then, as if your brains were connected, you both suddenly came to the same realization.

Everyone was already at the river. That meant your condo was empty.

Fuck. Yes.

Your eyes widened as you looked across the table at Joe. His eyes had glazed over and his mouth hung open slightly. You knew that look. It was the same look he had given you when the two of you almost had sex the day before. You let out a deep breath before shooting Joe a quick wink.

“Well,” you said, breaking the silence. “I guess we better finish up and head back to the condos.”

The two of you finished your meals unhealthily fast and quickly climbed back into your car. The ride was brimming with anticipation, made worse by Joe making the tortuous decision to run his hand up and down your thigh as you drove.

By the time the pair of you burst through the condo front door, you were already attached to each other, Joe’s hands gripping your hips and your arms looped around his neck. Joe practically flung you onto your tiny bed before pouncing on top of you, his lips devouring yours. You slid a hand to his chest and gently pushed him away.

“Wait,” you said breathlessly. “Let’s make sure we’re actually alone.” Joe nodded before leaning back down to press a quick peck to your cheek.

“Good idea.”

The two of you split up, you taking the upstairs and him downstairs, searching for any signs that one of your friends was still lingering in the condo somewhere. After not finding a single trace of anyone upstairs, you smirked.

Finally. Fucking privacy.

“We’re clear up here,” you called out as you made your way back down the steps.

“Same here,” Joe responded as you turned the corner and met his gaze. You slowly walked towards him, his eyes watching you intently, waiting to see what you would do next. Your eyes fell to his chest as you gently ran both of your hands across the expanse of his cotton t-shirt. Your touches traveled up towards his neck before finally resting your hands on the side of his face.

“Fuck me, Joe,” you whispered before crashing your lips to his.

It was like a switch had been flipped. The two of you clawed at each other as your lips connected again, all passion and tongue. You practically floated back over to the bed, yanking Joe down on top of you.

Hands yanked at t-shirts and fingers pulled at zippers, and after getting momentarily caught in the straps of your bikini top, the two of you were finally naked, latching onto each other like you couldn’t bear to spend a moment not touching. Joe’s one hand cupped your jaw as he devoured your mouth, his other hand lighting a fiery trail of touches down your ribs, your hip, your thigh. While his touches were slow, like he was trying to memorize your curves, your touches were desperate and needy, running your hands along the expanse of his back before circling his neck. You just couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t stop touching him. The feeling of his bare skin against yours was ecstasy, setting your soul aflame. His long fingers found your folds, wet and aching to be massaged. A deep groan vibrated through his chest as he buried his head into your shoulder.

“Fuck, you’re fucking soaked,” Joe mumbled against your skin, his fingers continuing their exploration. You whimpered in response, completely melting against his ministrations. He painted your pussy with your own juices before centering in on the bundle of nerves that had been longing for his attention. The weight of his body kept your hips pinned as he worked, playing your body like a finely-tuned instrument; each knead of his thumb making you sing, filling the room with moans and whines. Two fingers slid into you with ease as his mouth worked to decorate your collarbone with dark marks, nipping and sucking the sensitive skin.

You were at his mercy, left to simply tug at his auburn locks and dig your nails into his back. The man stroked a fire in your belly, the pressure in your core building as every cell of your body cried out with pleasure. Your thoughts were foggy, but the same question from the first night plagued your mind once again: had it ever been this good before? How was it possible that one man had this innate power to flood your heart, your mind, your body with every good feeling in the world?

The edge drew nearer and nearer as Joe’s nimble fingers caressed and rubbed in all the right places. His breath against your neck, his hand gripping your shoulder -- the man was everywhere and you wanted nothing more than to drown in him.

You came with a yell, the noise from deep in your chest escaping like it had been trapped inside. Your walls clenched around those long fingers of his and your nails left little half-moons in his pale flesh, hips bucking hard against his hand. You hadn’t even realized you had squeezed your eyes shut until they shot open, eyesight blurry as rush after rush of bliss racked through your body. Your vision cleared, revealing two piercing amber eyes watching with you with intensity. 

Jaw slack and chest heaving, Joe slowly eased his fingers out of you, pushing himself onto his knees, your thighs still trapped beneath him.

“That was the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen,” he growled, bottom lip rolling between his teeth. You let out a pleasant hum.

“You should probably make me do it again,” you countered with a weary smirk as you pushed yourself onto your elbows. You took the opportunity to shamelessly ogle the man straddling you, your eyes tracing a path down his chest to his soft belly before landing on his cock, hard and pink in his hand. Your gaze shot back up to Joe’s face, his eyes hooded as he stared back at you, leisurely pumping himself. “As sexy as you look right now, I’m going to need you to put that in me ASAP. I don’t even want to entertain the notion of us being interrupted again.”

With a classic Joe grin, the man leaned over to reach his discarded shorts, pulling a condom from his pocket. He rolled it on, the smirk never leaving his face as he felt you watching him. You were entranced by him, the way the muscles in his arm flexed as he fisted himself, the way he bit down on his lip, the way he eyed your body with hunger.

He leaned over you, steadying himself on his elbow while he lined himself up. Your hands found his biceps again, gripping hard as sheathed himself inside of you, twin moans reverberating throughout the condo. Pausing only for a moment to glance down at you, Joe gripped your thigh, hooking it around his hip before giving an experimental thrust.

Your whimper and the way you latched onto him harder must have given him the confirmation he needed. He began to move, grinding deep inside you, impaling you on his cock with each pump of his hips. His grunts mixed with your cries of pleasure as you suffocated in everything that was Joe. Your fingers curled against his scalp as you yanked him down to meet your lips, wanting him to take your mouth, too. He tasted like Dr Pepper and smelled like summer, and you willed yourself to memorize every detail because deep down you knew you were lucky to have this, to have him.

For what felt like hours, the two of you moved as one, clinging to each other with the ferocity of two people who were deprived of one another for far too long. Joe let go of your thigh, leaving soft blue spots behind before planting his palm flat above your shoulder. The new position drove his cock into you deeper and faster and you couldn’t help but cry out. Your eyes bore into his as he pounded into you, his own groans like music to your ears. You were nearing the edge once again, your own hips meeting his with more and more desperation.

“Joe,” you breathed out, the single syllable all you were capable of producing. He understood though, dropping back to his elbow and reaching between the two of you in the same motion. His thumb connected with your clit with a perfectly timed thrust and then...euphoria.

Loudly and roughly, you came, walls tensing around him like a vice. You thrashed against him while you experienced wave after wave of pure elation, but his pace never slowed. His thumb continued to work at you as his hips pistoned against yours. You weakly swiped at his hand to stop his strokes against your overworked bundle of nerves and he finally relented, his own thrusts becoming sloppier. 

With a roaring groan, his cock throbbed inside of you while his hips stilled, his body going rigid above you. You watched his face in awe as he lost himself in his own pleasure, etching the image into your brain. And with a deep breath, he collapsed into you, and you reveled in the feeling of his bare chest pressing against yours.

The condo echoed with the sounds of heavy panting as you both came down from your shared high. Joe’s head nestled into the crook of your neck and you instinctively brought a hand up to run your fingers through his locks.

“That was...well worth the wait,” Joe mumbled into your skin, causing you to chuckle in response. Your laugh shook both of your trembling bodies and suddenly you were reminded that he was still inside you.

“Well, it would have been nice to have been able to do that all week,” you countered. You felt Joe smile against your neck before he pushed himself up onto his elbows to look at you.

“To be fair, we did try,” he argued with a grin. That sent you both into a fit of giggles, and you couldn’t help but shake your head at the ridiculous situation the two of you had found yourselves in the day before...and earlier that day. You laid there in each other’s nude embrace for a few moments longer, soaking up the feeling, exchanging soft caresses and gentle kisses. You both knew that it was very likely that you wouldn’t find yourselves in this position again. At least, not in the near future.

“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but you’re crushing me,” you finally said after another minute. Joe let out a mock scoff before slowly easing himself out of you, both of you wincing at the sensation. He came to a stand next to the bed, politely offering a hand to you. You smiled and let him pull you to your feet and into his arms. His lips were heavenly against yours, the soft and slow kiss a stark contrast to the ones that had been exchanged during your escapade.

“Not to ruin this wonderful moment,” Joe murmured against your lips, “but we should probably start making our way to the river.” You groaned. He was right, annoyingly so. It had now been a few hours since you originally left to get your suit. You were both supposed to be spending time with all of your friends, not just each other, no matter how much you wanted to.

You both got yourselves cleaned up and dressed before heading down the hall to retrieve Joe’s swim trunks. Your hand twitched as you instinctively felt the need to reach for Joe’s hand, but you opted against it, suddenly feeling sheepish. Even though the two of you had held hands several times already, and the man had been buried inside you mere minutes ago, holding his hand right then seemed too...intimate all of a sudden.

Joe changed and gathered towels for the two of you before you headed downstairs, out onto the bustling street, and down towards the park, feeling different.

✧✧✧

You didn’t even get a chance to swim in the river.

After all of the effort on your part, the group had decided they were done with swimming and headed to grab some food by the time you made it to the park. You and Joe linked up with Matt and Dan, both sporting their usual snow cones, and found a spot in the grass to lay out your towels and wait for the rest of the group to arrive.

Things were weird right away. You noticed it immediately. As your friends started to trickle over, they greeted you with muted smiles and limited words. Something was brewing, and you seemed to be the only one who didn’t know what it was. Joe, on the other hand, seemed totally unaware, as he conversed with your gaggle of friends as they all got settled on their towels and blankets.

You were exhausted by how much your head was swimming. Most of the week, all you could think about was Joe. You overthought everything you said to him, every time you two touched, every time he glanced your way. You were so caught up in thinking about what to do with this new spark in your life. You practically didn’t have any brain power left to even ponder why everyone was acting so weird around you.

Dan, in his big brother wisdom, seemed to sense your confusion and squatted next to you.

“You should talk to Kayla,” was all he offered before standing up and returning to his spot next to Herbie. You furrowed your brows in confusion. Had you done something to Kayla?

You got your answer almost instantly as the petite brunette in question stomped over to your growing group, giving you a quick glare before plopping down a few towels in front of you beside Nick.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Classic Kayla. If she had a problem with you, she should be the one to tell you what it was. But this was a textbook move for her. Make it abundantly clear she’s upset but not be grown up enough to confront you about it. You sighed and glanced at the back of her head in front of you.

You were suddenly overcome with a sense of loneliness. Joe was a few blankets away, wooing the small crowd with his endless charm and wit, not even paying you any mind. Dan had decided that you were only worth a single sentence explanation before separating himself. And now your closest friend, your confidant, your wifey, was giving you the cold shoulder.

As the sun began to set and the crowd in the park grew around you, you gazed at Joe. He was animatedly telling some story to Rob and your heart panged at the sight. You wanted nothing more than to burrow yourself into his side, to feel his arms around you. Despite your anxiety about what was going to happen once Joe left, you felt safe and comfortable with him.

You continued to stare at him longingly, feeling almost jealous of Rob for having Joe’s attention. You knew you were being irrational; you had spent hours alone with Joe today. It was only fair that everyone else got to spend time with him now. But the selfish part of you wanted him all to yourself.

But he wasn’t yours. Not officially. That was the deal.

You were roused from your thoughts by fireworks exploding above you. It was all too overwhelming. The mobs of people decorating the park. The eruptions in the sky. Dan. Kayla. Joe. The past few days had been a roller coaster full of ups and downs, and it was as if it was finally catching up to you.

You felt a tear escape. Shouldn’t you be happy? You were surrounded by friends, you were smack in the middle of a whirlwind romance. The weather was amazing and you hadn’t had to think about work or real life in days.

So why were you crying? How was it possible to feel so alone when you were completely surrounded?

You stubbornly wiped at your face, annoyed with yourself. You couldn’t even focus on the colorful lights across the evening sky, too caught up in your own bullshit to appreciate it.

Then you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“She’s upset that we ditched the group for so long,” Joe said, loud enough for you to hear over the crashes and bangs but low enough to keep it between the two of you. You didn’t look at him, even as he settled next to you and began to trace soft circles on your knee. “Herbie told me.” You pondered his words, shaking your head in confusion. “Her view is that this week is about spending time with all of us together. So the two of us disappearing for hours and hours just to spend time with each other was a lame move in her eyes.” He paused, most likely hoping for a response from you, but you didn’t say a word, continuing to be annoyed at yourself for crying.

“I get it to a point,” Joe continued. Fuck, you thought, this is the part where he says he regrets everything. You winced, silently hoping he’d let you down easy. “But today was like...the best day I’ve had in a long time.”

You finally looked at him and were greeted with Joe’s soft smile. He wove his fingers with yours and placed a kiss to your knuckles, and it was as if he kissed away every anxiety in your body. You instantly relaxed at the gesture, and just like that, you were back.

“You’re just saying that because you got laid,” you jested, nudging him with your elbow.

“Oh, absolutely.”

“Shut up.”

You pulled him in for a kiss, wordlessly thanking him for just...everything. For making the past few days incredible. For making you laugh. For giving you several orgasms. For just being him. For just being Joe.

Your lips moved against his passionately as you poured every emotion you were feeling into the kiss. Every giddy smile that tugged at your lips when he flirted with you. Every shiver down your spine each time his fingers brushed your skin. Every moment of feeling seen and adored.

When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, foreheads pressed together. You couldn’t bring yourself to tear your gaze away from those chestnut eyes that seemed to stare right into your soul. Who gives a shit about fireworks when the most beautiful thing in the world was right in front of you?

The next hour passed by in a blur. You were too caught up in the feeling of Joe’s body pressed against your side, the feeling of his thumb caressing the back of your hand, the feeling of your shoulders brushing against each other’s as you walked back towards the condo. You could hear the rambling conversations of your friends around you, but they sounded miles away.

By the time you stumbled back into the condo, you were exhausted. It had been a long day, and you wanted nothing more than to cuddle up into Joe’s arms and pass out. It seemed like everyone was on a similar wavelength as you noticed the condo begin to settle down a lot earlier than usual. The awkwardness from the park had seemingly vanished for the most part; you assumed it was because everyone who knew why Kayla was upset with you had either forgotten about it or didn’t care themselves. 

After grabbing a cup of water and heading back towards your bed to join Joe, you found he was not alone.

“We should talk,” Kayla stated, glaring at you. Your eyes immediately found Joe’s, his face offering nothing but sympathy.

He said goodnight with a chaste kiss to your temple and a squeeze of your hand before disappearing through the front door, leaving you alone with the angry brunette perched on the edge of your bed.

“I guess you’re done giving me the silent treatment?” you accused, dropping onto the bed and stretching out your legs behind her.

“Well I mean considering you ditched us all for like five hours today, I assumed you didn’t want to talk to me,” she countered. You rolled your eyes.

“Come on,” you grumbled, crossing your arms. “Can we be fucking adults here? Why is it so bad that Joe and I spent some time alone today? I mean you were the one who suggested I hook up with him in the first place--”

“It was a joke! I didn’t think you’d actually take me seriously! And now…” she trailed off. You furrowed your brow as you waited for her to continue. She turned to you, a pained look on her face as if she was dreading the words she was about to say. “I’m worried about whatever this is turning into.”

“What what is turning into?” you questioned, your brows remaining knitted together, trying to decipher what she was trying to say.

“You and Joe.” 

Her confession did nothing to ease your confusion, so you simply sat there and stared at her, silently asking for further explanation.

“It just seems like...with the way you’re acting...I don’t know. It just seems a lot more serious than a quick fling.”

You pondered her words. There was definitely a truth to them; the status of your...connection with Joe was practically all you could think about. It was definitely beyond just a simple fling. But Kayla’s concern about it just confused you even more. It took several moments for you to finally respond.

“Are you...are you jealous?” You almost felt bad asking. Kayla had a long-term boyfriend back home. He hadn’t been able to get the time off from work to join the group during the yearly get-together this time. But her actions and words gave off an air of jealousy. Hell, she had said it herself: she was mad that you had spent time with Joe away from everyone else.

“No, not at all,” she confirmed, shaking her head. “I’m...I’m just concerned that this isn’t going to end well. One or both of you are going to get hurt.”

Of course you had entertained that possibility. Fuck, you’d spent most of the week overanalyzing everything about the situation. As hard as you were trying to maintain that this thing with Joe was casual, that you were gonna take it a day at a time, all it took was his hundred-watt smile to make you melt. This thing was what, five days old? But you had to face it, you had it bad.

But at the end of the day, if this whole thing was a mistake, it was your mistake to make.

You let out a sigh, your frustration with Kayla fading away.

“I appreciate you worrying about me,” you admitted, scooting closer to her on the bed, signaling you were backing down. “But Joe and I have talked about it. We’re not jumping into this head first. We’re gonna take it a day at a time.”

Her face revealed she wasn’t convinced. She eyed you warily, looking for something, you weren’t sure what.

“Just...be careful, okay?” she insisted, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze. “You know I love you a lot.” The frustrated frown that had taken up residence on your face ebbed away and you offered a soft smile.

“I love you too, wifey.”

✧✧✧

You were roused from your peaceful sleep by a buzzing under your head. With a groan, you flopped onto your stomach, pulling the vibrating phone out from under your pillow, revealing your boss’s name in big bold letters.

“Aaron, it’s eight in the morning, dude,” you grumbled into the phone.

“I know, and I’m sorry, but I’m desperate. I know you’re supposed to be off today, but is there any way you can close tonight? Both of the other managers called out with the flu.”

You let out another groan, making sure your boss knew exactly how grumpy you were. Of course you would have to go into work. The last few days had been too good and the universe needed to balance itself out. After a long silence, you finally relented, knowing you really didn’t have a choice.

“I’ll be there at two.”

“Oh my god, thank you! I owe you lunch or something! Thank you so much.”

After hanging up with your boss, you let out another loud groan, knowing you were going to have to break the news to your friends. And Joe.

Fuck. You were gonna lose your last day with Joe.

You waited until the rest of the condo was up and moving, or at least relatively close, before letting them know, collecting your ragtag group of friends, Joe included, into the condo living room to break the news. Everyone was disappointed, as you expected, especially at the fact that logistically, you wouldn’t be able to come back to the condo after work, as you were supposed to work an early shift the next day. When your eyes landed on Joe, instead of disappointment, you were met with what could only be described as a focused glare.

As your gaggle of friends debated where they were going to go for lunch, you moved towards him, his concentrated gaze watching your movements.

“You look like you’re scheming, Mazzello,” you commented as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His arms looped around your waist, the two of you fitting together like puzzle pieces.

“What if when you leave for work, the two of us didn’t have to say our goodbyes yet?”

The plan was simple. The second you were off work, Joe would Uber up to your apartment where he’d stay with you before you would take him to the airport for his ungodly early flight. You’d be able to have a few more hours together before reality would kick in and the past few days of absolute joy would come to an end.

You were passed around the room as each one of your friends pulled you in for a hug, exchanging words of love and about how next year couldn’t come fast enough.

Joe helped you finish packing your suitcase and walked you to the parking garage, leaving you with a passionate kiss and a strong internal battle over whether or not to call your boss and let him know you changed your mind.

But instead you drove yourself home, throwing on some more work-appropriate garb and heading down the street to rejoin the world of retail.

✧✧✧

It didn’t feel like it was possible for time to pass so slowly. But each second was like a minute, each minute an hour. Customers were grinding your gears more so than normal. The associates seemed determined to anything except their jobs. It was oddly busy for a weeknight, meaning more to straighten up and a longer shift. And all you could think about was the night you had ahead of you the second you clocked out.

You could barely concentrate as you counted the night’s deposit. You barely heard the associates wishing you a good night as you locked up the door, your entire focus centered on determinedly tapping away at your phone as you walked towards your apartment.

You: FREEDOM

Joe: I’m on my way.

Two minutes later, you arrived at your apartment to find it completely empty and you sighed in relief. Another fifteen agonizing minutes later, you yanked Joe through your front door, his suitcase falling to the ground behind him. You kissed him as if you hadn’t seen him in days, instead of only a few hours. He kissed you back just as hungrily, holding you impossibly close.

Joe eventually collected his forgotten suitcase and the two of you settled into your bed, cuddling close as you recounted your stressful workday. He caressed your back and patiently listened while you complained, shaking his head lovingly at your overdramatic retellings of the events of your night. You ran your fingers through his hair as he told you about his day, telling you about the condo’s shenanigans while trying not to make you upset for missing out. At this point you didn’t care. You had Joe in your arms right then and that’s all that mattered to you.

After your third yawn, Joe suggested the two of you attempt to get some sleep before your early alarm would go off, signaling the end of your slowly dwindling time together. You burrowed under the covers as Joe spooned up behind you, his arm protectively wrapping around your middle. He whispered a soft goodnight into your ear, and as soon as you relaxed into his embrace, you were out like a light.

Somewhere in your dreaming you noticed something. There was a gentle tickle against your neck and shoulders. It was soft and you relaxed into the touch as if you were afraid it would disappear. You slowly began to come to and as your mind became more clear, it suddenly registered that the pleasant touch was Joe’s lips against your skin. You let out a soft moan as you stretched, arching into his kisses.

“We have a half hour until we have to leave,” Joe mumbled into your hair, his hands sliding up to caress your ribs now that he knew you were awake. You hummed in response, immediately understanding what he was saying. You gave your hips an experimental roll backwards against him, meeting with his rigid cock behind you and earning a growl in your ear.

In retrospect, it was silly of the two of you to wear clothes to bed, knowing full well you’d be stripped of them at some point. Clumsily and sleepily, the two of you shed each other of your sleepwear, the need to feel each other’s skin driving your actions. His lips found yours in the dark, greedily licking into your mouth like a starved man. His grip on you was like a vice as he rolled his hips against yours, his hard on trapped between your bellies. The pitch black of your room made everything more intense, it felt like that first night all over again. Joe was everywhere all at once, kissing you, stroking the heat between your thighs, massaging your breasts. When he thrust into you, locking his hips into place like he belonged there, you couldn’t help but whine. Every time was better than the last and you had a feeling this man was about to ruin you in the best way. No one was ever going to be able to bring you to pleasure like this ever again. The thought was both scary and exhilarating.

His large hands yanked you and pushed you where he pleased, and you gladly moved with him, his touch pulling nothing but pleasure. No matter what happened next, no matter what happened once the two of you got into your car and drove to the airport, you knew in this moment that you were his. You wanted to give yourself to him. You needed him to take you.

“Please, Joe,” you whimpered out. “Just fuckin’....use me.”

In an instant you were flipped on to your stomach and dragged to the edge of the bed, your feet hitting the floor, your body folded in half under Joe’s. He railed into you, groaning into your ear. You couldn’t make out the mumbled words against your skin, too lost in your own pleasure as he drove deeper and deeper inside you. You reached behind you to grip his wrists where his hands rested on your hips, holding on as if he’d disappear if you let go, as if this was nothing more than a dream.

You came with a loud moan, pleasure rushing through every cell in your body. Joe continued to impale you on his cock as you rode out your high, then with a strangled groan, he pulled out and panted your bare back with white streaks. He left you slumped over the bed, absolutely boneless and blissed out while he fumbled through your dark bathroom for a washcloth.

You let out a pleased hum as he cleaned you up, and again as he placed a gentle kiss between your shoulder blades. You pushed yourself up on shaky legs, turning around and reaching for Joe instinctively. You knew you had minutes left and you wanted to make sure you were touching him at all times. You looped your arms around his neck and kissed him, willing your brain to memorize every aspect of the moment, because you had no idea when or even if you’d be lucky enough to have him again. The softness of his lips, the way he pressed his chest against yours, the little noises he made as you pressed your lips to his neck. You etched it all into your brain before pulling back to gaze into his eyes. 

“We better get going,” he said before pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. He smiled at you, but his eyes were sad, as if he regretted being the one to pull you both back to reality.

You threw your sleep clothes back on, uncaring of your appearance considering the sun wasn’t even up yet. You helped him make sure that he had all of his things, and then the two of you piled into your car for the last time.

You hummed along to your shuffling playlist as you drove down the empty highway, your car the only one for miles on account of the ungodly hour. One hand steered the car and the other held Joe’s hand tightly, your fingers woven together. No words were spoken; they weren’t needed. You both knew how you felt about each other. You both knew that this sucked. And you both were afraid of what was going to come next. 

But you were in it together. Taking it one day at a time. That was the deal.

The song on the stereo changed to “Don’t You Forget About Me” as you passed the welcome sign for the airport, and you rolled your eyes at the spot-on song choice.

You slowed the car to a stop at the curb below the sign for Joe’s airline, hopping out to help him free his suitcase from your trunk. The two of you stared at each other for a few moments before Joe pulled you into a crushing embrace, tucking his head into your shoulder.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?”

You were a bit choked up, unable to get words out, so you simply nodded, hoping to whatever higher power there was that his words would ring true.

You reluctantly let go of him and watched him with a smile as he wheeled his suitcase through the doors before you, throwing a glance over his shoulder to see you waving back at him.

It wasn’t until you were halfway home that you let yourself cry.

✧✧✧

DOJ Taglist: @deacyblues​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @rogers-sweatbands​ @almightygwil​ @travelbugg64 @briarrose26​ @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes​ @xbuckxnastyx​

Permanent Taglist: @queenlover05​ @mrhoemazzello​ @madamsledge​ @sadhwstudent​ @johndeaconshands​ @puffnstuff08 @stardust-galaxies​

[hypnoticwinter]

Down the Rabbit Hole part 25

“Jesus,” Erica breathes, “you weren’t kidding,” and I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

I’ve managed to keep my heartrate under control all the way down to the barrows but now that we’re here I’m able to let my breath out and relax a little, ironically. The place is a graveyard, a grisly butcher’s workshop of stinking ichor and dismembered copepods. It is unearthly quiet, even down here in the middle of the Pit’s guts, with the only sound being the dripping of glutinous white phlegm-like vital fluids and occasionally a far-off groan from the Pit’s musculature.

The copepods are everywhere, strewn all over the place like ragdolls, and very few of them are intact. The majority have had their arms ripped off and a ragged hole bored straight through the middle of their armored faceplate that looks like it goes several feet deep at least. Here and there there are dead leeches, the only trace of the leechman, the only thing giving any clue as to what might have happened her. I briefly wish that I still had my camera with me.

Saying goodbye to Elena had made me acutely aware that I may not have been prepared for what I was getting myself into. I had helped her out of the cot and she had stumbled and cried out and then I caught her, prepared for the worst, already starting to panic – had I done a bad job? Had I hurt her somehow while I was tending to her wounds and only now was she able to feel the effects of it, getting up and moving around?

Elena had looked at me, lips already curling into a sheepish grin, and then she must have seen the look on my face and stopped, stood there straight without any assistance from me and then put her hands on my face and cupped me to her and kissed me so long and so hard that I felt a little faint. Erica had coughed behind us, a little uncomfortably, but when we finally broke apart I really had eyes only for Elena, I couldn’t stop staring at her, at the freckles across her cheeks, at the way one of the corners of her lips lifted slightly higher than the other when she smiled, at a dozen little things like that that I wanted to fix in my mind.

I don’t think I really knew, not consciously, at least, why I made such an effort to keep a clear image of her in my head then, to get every detail down in as complete a manner as I could. It only became apparent to me once we had walked out to the Cord and Elena had opened the door and turned around and waved to me before disappearing that I had been so concerned with her safety that I had had no concern at all for mine.

The door clanged shut and Marcus had spun the wheel to seal it tightly and then Elena was gone. Before she left we had hugged again, there in Oyster’s Shame, amid the glistening walls and the sounds of more of the tiny pearly deposits falling here and there like a soft distant rain. “You come back to me,” she had growled, right into my ear, and I could feel her leave a wet spot on my cheek from where she had begun to cry, and I wanted so badly to go with her but I didn’t see any way I could.

“Well,” I had said to Erica, forcing myself to sound brighter than I had felt, “let’s get this over with.”

So we did.

Marcus kicks one of the dead leeches and it rolls a little. It looks like it has some weight to it, some heftiness that isn’t immediately apparent from how slender it is. It’s about the length of my arm. “What the hell is this, E?” he asks, looking up at her, and Erica shakes her head, getting down on her haunches to examine it.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” she says. “It’s a little bit like a gastric bristleworm but not as…I don’t know, bristly.”

I’m standing there in the back with my arms folded, waiting. Next to me is the stinking corpse of a copepod; this one has been crushed, its insides, ropy and white, flooding out in a great mass from its burst sides. Even with the helmet up I can smell it; Erica and Marcus must have cast-iron stomachs. Erica does, anyway; when we first made it down to the barrows we’d had to stop for a moment to let Marcus vomit.

The tracking PDA had lead us almost exactly the way we’d gone the day before, back before everything had gone to hell. I still don’t know exactly what had kicked it off to begin with; my best guess was that the Leechman had showed up and gone on a rampage just after we’d left with the crystal, and the copepods, they must have assumed that it was our fault, that we’d drawn it here or were somehow working with it. Did they know what it was? Did they recognize it? I wish the Big Guy were still around to ask but we had passed his desiccated, punctured corpse, recognizable only by the stump of one of its wrists, as we had made our way through the central chamber. Marcus is carrying the Sergeant’s slug rifle but he does so nervously, as though he’s afraid of it. He clearly isn’t familiar with the thing. I wonder what’ll happen if he does have to fire it, if it’ll just put him on his ass or if it’ll actually break a bone.

The two of them have been decent to me so far. Erica seems genuinely regretful about hitting me earlier; she doesn’t look at me most of the time, and if she does need me for something, mainly to use the suit computer to look at a map, she asks for me politely and in a soft voice. I thought that Marcus might curse at me or harbor some kind of ill-feeling; after all, Elena – after all, my girlfriend attacked him, and I have no doubt that if she had been able to get away with it she likely would have shot the both of them and washed her hands of it.

The thought makes me shudder very slightly, but not of fear or anger but just vague baseless exhilaration, of minor and muted joy that things are finally happening, for better or for worse, for good or ill, that great capital-letter THINGS WILL CHANGE finally rolling over and putting muscle behind its epitaph.

I had been terrified on the way down that the copepods would have torn us apart, would have eaten us. I had no confidence in Erica and Marcus’ ability to protect this little illicit expedition. They have no plan, no notion of what might be waiting for them. And I don’t know what they intend to do if they do actually manage somehow to get their hands on the crystal. Break it? But that’d be counterproductive, wouldn’t it, as if what Erica’s saying is right, that’d just give us that psychic illness.

If I don’t have it already. Was that dream a dream or the start of it? Is it –

No, stop. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s the perfectly normal sort of dream to have when you’re under this much stress, in these conditions. Once you’re out of here, once you’ve – Christ, I don’t know, gotten Elena some vacation time or sick leave or whatever the hell and spent the rest of your savings taking her to fucking Tahiti or somewhere, if you’re still having the dreams then, you can worry about it.

I could tell them, I could tell Erica and Marcus. It’d be easy. I could just say something like, ‘hey, uh, so there’s this giant fucking ogre made out of leeches wandering around down here and it’s got the crystal you’re after, and it killed all these copepods. Oh, and the crystal weighs about a ton and we had to get a robot to carry it, which I notice you guys didn’t bring with you. No, you can’t use our robot, it’s probably smashed to bits somewhere.’

They wouldn’t believe me. There’s no way in hell they’d believe me. Even if I did want to save their asses, which at the moment is not very high up on my priority list. I’m still maintaining the faint hope that they might actually find the damn Leechman and try to get into a fight with it, which would be my cue to run like hell.

“Roan,” Erica asks me, again using that mildly infuriating soft and considerate voice, “have you seen one of these before?” She’s holding the body of the leech out to me, grasping it like one might hold a snake, right behind the head. Its mouth gapes insanely wide and round and the body hangs limp. I can’t stop myself from taking a step backwards.

Goddam it, Erica.

“Leechman,” I say, and then I cough. Our eyes meet for the first time in a half hour. “The leechman’s here.”

Erica’s eyes seem to grow instantly deeper. Her mouth is open slightly, and she stares at me in silence until Marcus nudges her, his eyes flicking between her and me. “What’s the leechman?” he asks, and Erica, broken out of her reverie, licks her lips and glances over at him.

“Nothing,” she tells him, getting to her feet quickly. “A fairy tale. Like the boogeyman.”

Marcus doesn’t believe this; I can tell from the way he looks at her, but he doesn’t question it, just gets to his feet as well and follows her as she pulls out the tracking PDA, taps at the screen a few times, and then points down at one of the darkened vents. “That way,” she says, and where she points we follow.

We make our winding way through the ass-end of the barrows, the part we hadn’t gone through yesterday, and then the trail takes a corkscrewing, winding path downwards. We are very clearly in a section of the Pit that people have not been in very often. Even in the sections leading up to the barrows, where the flesh of the vents is left bare and uncovered, there are still lights strung here and there, little radio repeaters and every now and then a tiny, cramped-looking ranger station, mostly mothballed and closed-off, but still evidence that someone had come before us. In the barrows, though, this stopped entirely. There were little trails of cleat-marks here and there, but I think the majority of them were from us stomping through earlier, they looked too fresh, too new.

We only saw a couple of copepods, and these from far off, across vast chasms of flesh, scarred here and there like cliff-faces. I couldn’t divine their purpose, just – anomalies of anatomy, no meaning, no clear analogue I can draw. Just places where the flesh falls away and vague misty nothing takes its place. As I stand on the precipice looking over and down into darkness, watching the way my flashlight beam peters out depressingly soon, I swear that for a moment I can see something moving around, something large, fluttering and flapping and swooping like some kind of giant bat, but if anything was there, it vanished so quickly as to not leave an impression on me other than a brief glimpse of size and frantic motion.

I turned back to see if Marcus or Erica had seen any of it but they were huddled together, deep in conversation, hunched over the PDA. After a moment I traipsed over to join them. With each step on the way down I had felt my weariness building, both in my body and in my heart – I had shoved so much out of the way down somewhere inside of me where I didn’t have to feel it, and it was only now that it was beginning to creep back out at me.

We’d passed some things I’d recognized from the rest of the squad – there was a torn piece of a suit there, in a small knurled corner, dirty and speckled with red matter that might have been blood or bits of flesh. I didn’t look closely enough to check. A boot, cleated firmly into the ground. Nothing as definite as a body; the closest I saw was a great foaming gout of blood splashed across the floor and up part of the wall of the vent, but no indication as to whether it came from a person, from a member of the team, from Klaus or Euler or – or Peter, or whether it was just natural, some artery in the floor being clipped during the fighting and spraying everywhere until capillary action cut it off.

If I think about it I won’t be able to go on. I can’t bear to –

Alright, Roan. Easy girl. Deal with it later. Right now just focus on staying alive. Get back to Elena and then you can cry about things. God, poor Peter, though; and poor Makado, waiting for him. How would I feel if it had been me up there and Elena down here?

I think of her, alone, making her way up the Cord, no weapon, still hurting, probably, as the painkiller starts to wear off, and I bite my lip, hard. Goddam it, I’m not going to cry. Not down here. She’s fine, she’s going to be perfectly fine. She knows how to handle herself.

I focus instead on the ache in my knees, in my back, in my arms. We’ve been going for so long, it feels like; hours upon hours. I’d check the time on the wrist computer but these damn gloves - !

Erica and Marcus look tired as well, at least. Maybe they’ll want to rest soon. We’ll be able to eat, sleep perhaps…they have to have some kind of tent, or sleeping bags, or something, even if it’s not one of the fancy hexagonal ones the squad used. I think about pointing out that we’re all dog tired, we might as well take a break before we go further, but I nix that idea quickly – I don’t want to seem weak. Erica’s given the impression that she won’t push me but Marcus is still a wild card, I don’t know him, how he handles stress, how he’ll act in a couple of hours when he’s even more tired and hungry.

They gesture and lead on, and I follow, dead on my feet but still forcing myself to continue.

And then, after fifteen minutes of walking, down treacherous polyped inclines, past outcroppings of redundant, keratinous spines, we find, laying in a slump with his neck at an awkward unnatural angle, his eyes terribly bright and aware, Euler.

I cry out when I see him; my stomach makes a horrible lurch as I take in the gnawed markings dotting his once-bright ranger suit, round and puckered and blood-crusted. The leeches have been at him but left him alive for some inscrutable reason. He coughs as we shine our lights on him and shifts feebly but he is unable to move more than an inch or two – his spine is clearly broken.

I hadn’t expected to find any bodies; somehow I had guessed that one way or another, anyone lost down here would be utterly irretrievable. But there is Euler, the one person I would never have expected to survive – I guess I underestimated him.

Or perhaps his current condition isn’t really surviving in the main sense. Once I’ve gathered my senses I rush to him and kneel there beside him. I have nothing to offer him, no painkillers, no first aid, nothing besides companionship, but it’s better than standing and gawking as Erica and Marcus seem to be satisfied with. I wipe his forehead with my gloved palm lightly, the sweat shining on the rubber in the wake of my flashlight, and Euler’s eyes shift up to meet mine and he croaks out my name in a hoarse voice. He says it wrong, like it were one syllable, but hearing someone I care about even infinitesimally say it is like breathing after being underwater.

“Euler,” I tell him, and my voice breaks just a tiny bit right at the end. I lick my lips and try again. “Euler, what the hell happened to you?”

“I’m – it’s bad, Roan,” he says. Rone. Should have changed my name in that rebellious phase, added that accent mark I always longed for. There’d be less ambiguity. I smile to myself in spite of everything and he grins at me, just a little bit, but his eyes stay wide and frightened. They flick over to Erica and Marcus, and I look back at them as well, and then give an exasperated sigh.

“Don’t you two have any damn medical things? A first aid kit?�� They glance at each other. “Anything?”

“I thought you might…” Euler coughs. “Might have come to rescue us.”

I frown. Us?

“Euler, are there…more people from the squad down here? Hurt somewhere?”

He shakes his head minutely, then winces. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to touch him without hurting him. I tear my glove off with my teeth, just lay my hand against his cheek. It feels like an awkwardly intimate gesture but I don’t know what else to do, I don’t know how else to help. If it were me I think I’d – I think I’d want human contact, something skin to skin. I think it might be a comfort.

“What happened?” I whisper.

“The Leechman,” he says, “it – it grabbed me and then it –“

He cries out, gently, and I move my hand downward and grab his. He clutches at me desperately. The last time I had seen him the leeches had been streaming into his open mouth, writhing against him, wrapping him like a hundred pythons at once. I bite my lip and glare back at Erica again. “Will you two fucking do something?”

“He’s clearly past any help we could give him,” Erica says, and Marcus nods.

For a very brief moment I am so intensely angry I feel as though I might burst into flame. Euler cries out softly again and I realize I have squeezed his hand too hard, and I jerk my hand back from his, muttering a stammered apology. He shakes his head.

“They’re right, I’m done for,” he tells me. “You should – you’re going down further?” he asks, frowning, and I nod.

“Those two want the crystal,” I tell him, lowering my voice a little.

“It went…that way,” he says, glancing to the right, further down the vent and into the Pit’s depths. We sit there in silence for a moment longer and then finally work up enough nerve to ask him the question I wanted to.

“Are you in pain?”

He thinks about it for a moment. “It feels like I should be but it’s just dull.” He breathes heavily. “I’m afraid.”

“Euler, don’t –“

“I’m going to die down here,” he says, and there is a terrible layer of finality in his voice that makes my heart fall.

“No, Euler, you’re not –“ I start, but then cut myself off. Because he’s right, isn’t he? I can’t argue with him, there’s no way in hell that we’re going to be able to get him out of here. If he has a broken neck there’s no fucking way we could stabilize him well enough to carry him out of here, and even if we could, I’d need Erica and Marcus’ help, which they don’t seem incredibly inclined to give me. I look back at them and start to get up, but Euler catches the cuff of my suit and I stop, hunkered over awkwardly.

“Roan, I saw – “

He coughs; I can see his chest heaving. I wonder about those leeches; I know I saw them flooding into his mouth, forcing their way down his throat…what would have –

“I saw inside it,” he tells me. I frown.

“Inside what?”

“The Leechman,” he says. His eyes are boring into mine with a horrible intensity, practically bulging outwards. “I saw inside it and – and it was so bright –“

“Euler, I don’t know what you –“

“Don’t leave me down here,” he says quietly, and then lets go. There is a pleading in his eyes that stops me dead. I’ve let my mouth fall open slightly, but there is no mistaking what he means, there is no ambiguity in the quiet desperation in his tone. He wants me to –

I get up quickly. My hands are shaking and my arms and legs feel like I’ve been whipped with a coil of lightning. I walk over to Erica and Marcus, and Erica nods at me. “You ready to go?” she asks, and I shake my head. I open my mouth and try to talk but I choke a little, then cough and try it again.

“Erica, Euler, he –“

“What is it?”

I shut my eyes. “Kill him,” I tell her. “He asked me to but I can’t – I can’t do that. He’s scared and he doesn’t want to have to lay down here unable to move for a couple more days before something fucking eats him or he dies of exposure. Please.”

Erica’s eyes are very dark. She glances at Marcus, then back at me, before she reaches down to her belt and unsnaps the holster there, then hands me the revolver. I nearly drop it; it’s heavier than I had expected. “Do it yourself,” she tells me. Her voice is like glass. “We’ve wasted enough time here already.”

“You – “ I start, but I choke it back. She’s trusting me giving me the revolver; this means something to her. This is a test. But what am I supposed to do? Can I –

But you already did once before, some part of me whispers at the back of my head. Remember Rey? He’s dead because of you. And before that -

Marcus is covering me with his own slim little pistol. I swallow hard and try not to feel the imprint of its muzzle, covering me from five, seven, ten feet away from me, my back itching as I half-expect to hear a report and feel a sharp shock –

But nothing happens. I make it to Euler; he’s watching me, his eyes rolled upwards in a manner that somehow distinctly reminds me of a dog, somehow, and I hate myself for thinking so, but he’s looking at me in the same way a dog will look up at you, not moving its head, its eyes wide and hopeful.

I thought the gun might feel better in my hand after I’d had it there for a while, but it’s still awkward and heavy and purposeful. It’s much heavier than the pistol they’d given me to practice with during qualifications back on the range a few days ago; that one hadn’t even felt like a gun, it hadn’t felt real. This one most certainly does.

Euler nods at me infinitesimally. “It’s…alright,” he says. He seems to be laboring a bit more now; maybe he hadn’t been expending very much energy until we came across him. I certainly didn’t hear any cries for help on the walk up. If he’d been there the whole time, for hours, listening to the Leechman and the copepods duke it out…

“Euler,” I say, “what did you mean when you said you saw inside the Leechman?”

“Roan,” he says. His eyes are fixed on the revolver. I’m stalling, I realize; I’m putting it off so that maybe somehow this responsibility will be removed from me. The inside of my mouth is very dry and I swallow hard, willing some moisture to return to it.

“Okay,” I say quietly. Okay, I think to myself. I take the revolver, hold it in two hands, one on the handle, the barrel resting in the palm of my other hand. I look at the cylinder, fumble for a moment before that trip all those years ago with my dad comes back to me and I find the catch and swing it outwards. Erica hasn’t reloaded since she shot Elena, I note, some dull part of my mind logging the information without any further comment. I can see the tiny mark of the struck primer on one of the cartridges. But I won’t find any salvation here, there are still five more shots that are perfectly serviceable.

I click it shut, remembering, as my dad told me, not to flick it closed, not to spin it. You aren’t a cowboy, he’d said to me gravely, pressing the gun into my chest. It had smelled like oil and metal, like something functional, like when you open the hood of your car. And I had trembled then as I am now, and I had looked out across the flat open expanse of grass –

Even then I couldn’t bear to think of it after I’d done it.

I’m stalling.

Goddam it, Roan, goddam you and your willingness to stick your neck out.

Euler makes a small noise beneath me and I look down at him. “Are you sure?” I ask, willing him to say no, to rethink it, to give me a reprieve. He nods.

“Just do it,” he says. “They won’t come get me, they won’t care. Just do it.”

“Okay,” I breathe, and then I hold the gun in two hands – why does it come back to me so easily? – and put it up very close to his forehead, and Euler shuts his eyes, and I shut mine as well. I inhale and then exhale.

Five minutes later I hear feet squelching up behind me and then Marcus is crouching next to me and prying the gun from my nerveless hands. “It’s okay,” he says, not unkindly, and then he is gently pushing me out of the way. I get to my feet, not knowing what else to do. I meet Euler’s eyes and I start to say something, then I stop. There is no blame in them, or maybe I don’t want to see blame. So instead I turn around and hunch myself against the wall, and when the gunshot finally sounds I flinch, and then I finally let myself cry.

When I turn back around I can’t bring myself to look at him. I instead watch Marcus hand the revolver back to Erica, watch Erica slip it back into the holster, watch Marcus shove his pistol into the waistband of his heavy-duty jeans. I blurt out the only thing that comes to my mind and tell him that he shouldn’t carry one in the chamber like that, it’s dangerous, and Marcus gives me a pitying look and says nothing. When I meet Erica’s eyes they are lighter than before and I realize, with a shudder as another wave of tears rolls soundlessly down my cheeks, that whatever test there was, whatever reason made her give me the revolver, I passed.

And then we stomp off into the darkness and leave poor Euler behind.

 * * *

 The next day I feel better. I slept better than I thought I might have, sandwiched between Erica and Marcus in their tent, cramped and with not enough air mattresses or sleeping bags, but I managed. They shared some of their food with me, MREs scavenged from some surplus store somewhere, which I found faintly comforting, and then the next day, when someone’s alarm blared and woke us, I was disconcertingly and surprisingly fresh-feeling. All the pain and sorrow I thought might have come boiling out of me when I let my guard down never did, and instead it was replaced with a calm, warm, faintly comforting deadness. I was, I realize now, preparing on some level to die. I had arrived at a zenlike state that had me convinced I was either dead or dreaming, a fragile state of mind that I had tried so hard to reach at that dojo in Oklahoma but which constantly eluded me.

Since Friday I am complicit now in two murders, one arguably and one less so. When I think of myself the person I am is thorny and sharp-edged and armored and I do not recognize her when I hold her in my arms. I blow out a breath and pop my eyes open as Marcus nudges me and hands me a cup of bootleg espresso made from two freeze-dried pouches, and I take it gratefully and even manage to smile at him. I feel…clean.

We’ll see how long that lasts.

More walking, more bypasses across stinking rivers of digested slurry, more crawling across meter-wide cords of banded muscle. The anatomy gets stranger and stranger, more open, more wild. Nerves like waving cilia, waggling at us like anemones, retract at lightspeed at our approach. Everything is luminescent down here, everything glows, but what glows brightest of all is the rectangular blocky backlight of Erica’s PDA, guiding us forward like a north star. She seems less certain of it, less sure; she stops and consults with Marcus every now and then and I feel fairly frequently like I have simply been forgotten, like I am an insurance policy for the return trip, a hostage kept in waiting to be revealed and used as leverage later on.

Will Makado care, I wonder, when she knows that they’ve taken me? I hope she will. I think we got close enough that she would. I think she likes me.

Does she like me enough to send a team after me? I’m sure there’s some kind of tracking device in this suit but will it even function this deep down? I don’t know.

I stub my toe on a bloated adipose swelling and it belches a gout of rank, sticky fluid on me. We pause again for Marcus to vomit.

Eventually we make it to a curled, winding passageway, a tight intestinal-feeling loop that circles in on itself over and over again, the tissue struggling against us at every turn, that we have to claw and scrape and crawl through but that the PDA swears is the right way to go, the simplified arrow logo spinning back around and directing us back in every time we think of turning around and trying someplace else. We push through and through until finally it vomits us out, breathing hard and covered in blood and strands of pale-white membrane, and then we stop, eyes wide, staring up and up and up at the space we’ve found ourselves in.

It’s enormous, the size of a stadium and at least twice or maybe three times as deep, great gnarled coils of sparking nerves weaving in and out of the fleshy, irregular walls casting macabre light in regular snaking patterns across the broad flat plate of bone that divides the space nearly in half, knotty and bulging and thick, honeycombed and dripping with thick resinous marrow.

There are things moving, I realize, on the far-off floor of the chasm, great writhing worms or – no, no, they have legs. Squat lizard-like figures, then, moving in fits and starts, their flesh a glistening pale sickly color, like milk that’s gone off. They must be simply enormous for us to be able to see them from this distance. I glance back at Erica and Marcus; their mouths are open, dumbstruck as well – they must not have known this was here. Could we be the first to find this place?

I watch a shadow, a patchy midnight cutout, detach itself from the bone plate and fall swooping to the floor of the chasm, and then it wings its way back up, one of the lizards caught in its claws, dangling beneath like a rabbit caught by a hawk. I watch, overwhelmed, as the – the thing, whatever it is, I want to call it a bird but it can’t be, it simply can’t be – flutters ungainly and graceless back to the bone and vanishes with its prey into a whorled hole in the side, ragged and uneven.

“What is this place?” I mutter to Erica, after I’ve regained enough of my senses to think to speak, and she shakes her head faintly.

“I have no idea,” she tells me, but before I can say anything else I hear a noise from above us; a subtle noise, like a whistling, drawn-out swoosh, and when I look upwards I can only see a diving, dark-furred silhouette with outstretched, foot-long claws and a hungry, slavering mouth.

I don’t have time to scream.

Continue with Part 26

Back to Table of Contents

[giggle-me-this]

⏰ 12

Nate was standing on the wooden balcony that wound its way around the perimeter of the grand, glass-domed entrance hall at Ilvermorny. He was leaning on the railing, looking smart in his tailored blue-and-cranberry robes, a bored expression on his boyish features.

The new first-years were just beginning to file into the rotunda down below when Nate heard a purring voice to his side: “Hiya, Nate…”

Nate looked over and spotted a fellow second-year—a petite and cunning young thing with long, auburn hair. “Jessa,” Nate greeted her with a smirk. 

“Unimpressive, aren’t they?” Jessa lamented, pitying gaze drifting downward to the first-years, who were all shifting where they stood and looking nervous. Except for one girl, who stood tall with a sleek dark-brown bob that rested atop her squared shoulders, a headband pushing it back from her face to reveal a cool, impassive expression as she stared straight ahead, expectant but not impatient.

Nate’s hazel eyes twinkled affectionately at the eleven-year-old in the crowd, yet still he said to Jessa in a blue-blooded drawl, “Oh, vastly—they’re gonna get eaten alive.”

The sorting ceremony began and Nate largely tuned it out, amusing a giggling Jessa with flashy little colored light trails from his fingers; under MACUSA’s strict secrecy laws, students at Ilvermorny were required to leave their wands at the school over the summer, and so knowledge of basic wandless tricks were ubiquitous amongst the student body.

And then a name was called that made everyone on the upper balcony whisper furiously:

“Harriet Jane Pinnock.”

Jessa’s plump lips fell into an oh shape as her eyes darted between Nate and the students below, putting the pieces together, ridiculously slow on the uptake. God, she really was stupid; it’d be insufferable if she wasn’t equally hot.

Nate watched his sister step forward—proud, bold, absolutely fearless in comparison to all the other sniveling children who’d been sorted before her. A hush like rustling wind fell over the hall, and Nate was aware of many eyes fixed on him. Funny, wasn’t it? How his sister’s name was said, and yet people looked at Nate. It happened in their family all too often.

But Nate didn’t give a shit about them. Let them watch, he thought with exceedingly privileged overconfidence. He was watching Harriet, proud no matter which house claimed her. “Five Dragots on Horned Serpent…” he whispered to Jessa, and she gave a half-comprehending nod as she watched the scene below, transfixed. 

And sure enough, the massive crystal inlaid in the forehead of the giant wooden snake totem lit up, and a cheer erupted from the Horned Serpent section of the balcony. “Called it,” Nate said smugly. He’d been saying it to Harriet all summer, that she’d go to Horned Serpent—she was such an unbearable know-it-all that it was obvious.

Harriet was about to step toward the statue, when suddenly, the giant panther that represented Wampus gave a rumbling roar. The whispers started up again, and Nate smirked. The choice of two houses? Good for her.

And then the Pukwudgie totem raised its arrow in the air, and the titters all around the balcony became even louder. Harriet looked between the three totems, and Nate could tell even from this distance that her sharp, calculating expression was deep in deliberation. 

And before she could make a decision, it happened—the Thunderbird, the totem directly below where Nate was stood, spread its large wooden wings. 

There were audible gasps. It was said that only one wix in a generation, at most, was ever petitioned by all four Ilvermorny houses. No one was looking at Nate anymore; all eyes were on Harriet. 

She spun around slowly, in one full circle, and then her green eyes cast upwards toward where Nate was standing on the balcony. He couldn’t be sure if she even saw him—probably she didn’t—but not a second later, Harriet gave a nod and stepped toward the Thunderbird, and the celebratory yells and applause from his section were raucous and immediate.

Nate stuck two fingers in his mouth and gave a loud whistle. He took an excited breath, but otherwise held his outward composure. In the same house as Harriet, away from their fucking parents, for six whole glorious years? It sounded too good to be true.

He watched her take her place beside the statue and thought, Us against the world.

@harrietpinnock

[crawgluvr4]

(ao3)

they’re in brazil, somewhere on the northern coast. the omnium has stopped sending out kaiju, and started sending out strike bots, so they’re in their tents, camped out and waiting for the next sign of attack.

two to a tent. liao stays with ana, reinhardt with torbjorn, and gabriel with jack, obviously. 

it’s late july, so it’s horrible and humid, even at 2am. there’s a dehumidifying fan, portable, absolutely useless. gabriel sits on the bed mat and glares at it. 

“being angry will just make you hotter,” jack tells him. he’s lying face down on the mat, occasionally spritzing water over himself with a spray bottle.

gabriel thinks its ridiculous and pointless. “your opinion of my hotness is irrelevant.”

“not what i meant.” jack sprays him with the bottle; it’s cool for about two seconds before he just feels sweaty again. “at least try to get some sleep. maybe the bots will take pity on us and attack alaska next.”

“you know i fucking hate the cold.” gabriel flops back onto the mat, head landing on jack’s leg. he gets an annoyed grunt for it. “but this isn’t heat, it’s punishment.”

“that’s stupid.” jack says it with immense fondness. “you’re stupid.”

“not as much as you.” gabriel pauses, smiling. “you ever wonder how long we’ll be doing this?”

“what, insulting each other?” jack sprays himself again, and some lands on gabriel’s face. “‘til we die.”

“i meant the horrible camping out to risk our lives against robots,” gabriel says, wiping his face. “can’t insult each other forever if we’re dead.”

“i’d come all the way from hell to haunt you in heaven, i promise.”

gabriel snorts. “love how you think either of us are getting into heaven. you don’t even believe in an afterlife.”

“you do,” jack shrugs, putting the bottle down on the ground. “good enough for me.”

“i don’t- well, not like… well, you know.” gabriel turns onto his side, looks up at the back of jack’s head. “it’s complicated.”

“i know.” jack’s been in his head, of course he does. “i don’t think we’ll be doing this forever, by the way. it’s been what, five years? history dictates it won’t go on that much longer.”

“that is the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.” gabriel elbows him in the side. “holy shit.”

“ow. call it optimism.” jack turns over himself, kneeing gabriel off his legs. “really, though, i don’t know. there’s a lot of bots, but we’ve always won.”

“not everyone has.” gabriel thinks of the pairs that have gone out to sea and come back in pieces, or not at all. “not everyone’s so lucky.”

“you think it’s luck?” jack’s eyes shift to him from the roof, intensely curious. “you don’t just think we’re that good?”

“has to be some luck.” gabriel shuffles up the mat, finally letting himself rest on his pillow. “love can’t conquer all.”

jack goes a little pink. “ah, that’s not true. and also gay.”

“you’re gay,” a practiced response. “i don’t think perfect sync means everything, you know? they keep adapting. so we have some measure of luck, cause otherwise they’d have caught us off guard by now.”

“mmm, fair.” jack lets his hand fall back onto gabriel’s, probably the most contact he can stand in the heat. “if we do get caught off guard, then, i’d rather be with you.”

“that’s sweet.” a beat. “wonder what it’s like to die in the drift.”

“jesus christ, gabe.” jack laughs. “that’s morbid.”

“well, it could happen!” gabriel elbows him again, more gently this time. “at least you’ll be able to insult me one last time as we get eaten by a giant monster robot.”

“as if you’d ever let me get the last word.” jack frowns. “or thought? whatever.”

not on your life, gabriel thinks at him. 

jack laughs, softly. “you tell ana about that yet?”

“nah.” he links his fingers with jack’s. “feels a bit too private, still. i’m sure she has an inkling anyway.”

“probably. too sharp for her own good.” jack chuckles a little. “it’s nice. still prefer actually talking, most of the time. and i like your voice.”

“aw.” gabriel grins. “yours is tolerable too, i guess.”

jack rolls his eyes.

they lie like that for a while, not quite getting to sleep, but not awake, either. gabriel has always found it hard to sleep without a blanket, an impossibility in this heat. he realizes he’s still awake at some point, and opens his eyes - it’s still dark. they’re due to be up and about for 6, so he resigns himself to less than ideal sleep. at least he can go a day or two without and be alright.

it’s a little cooler - maybe the fan is working properly, but he no longer feels like he’s going to melt out of his own skin, so he shifts a little closer to jack. there is a soft feeling of warmth and comfort as he does, not his own. jack turns to him, snakes one arm around his waist, and smiles just a little, still trying to settle into sleep.

he really is gorgeous. gabriel feels lucky, to have him out of everyone else on the planet. even if they did die tomorrow, he has a feeling it would be together.

now that was morbid. he frowns to himself. 

“jack,” gabriel says, after a long pause. 

“mgh.” jack cracks open an eye. “what’s up? you’re worried.”

“i love you,” he says, simply. 

“i know.” jack shuffles forward a bit, kisses him on the nose. “i love you too.”

“but.” gabriel holds onto jack’s arm, keeping him there. “ah. i don’t know.”

“yeah you do,” jack states, then kisses him just to the side of his mouth. “tell me, what’s up? you owe me. i was nearly asleep.”

“you were not.” gabriel kisses him back, properly. jack makes a noise of surprise. “i would much rather do this, actually.”

“you know the other tents are like two metres away, yeah?” jack doesn’t sound like he minds. “and we’re in a jungle.”

“i’m just trying to kiss you, you shithead.” gabriel bites back a laugh. “i love you. i really do.”

“i love you-” gabriel interrupts him with another kiss. “too. hey, let me finish!”

“nah.” he wraps his arms around jack properly, heat be damned. “would rather kiss you.”

“not sleep? remember sleep?” jack kisses him back, anyway. he breaks away after a minute. “mmm, i find it hard to believe this is what you were worried about.”

“alright.” gabriel buries his face in jack’s neck. “i was thinking.”

“rare, for you.”

“shut up.” he feels nervous all of a sudden. “you said you saw us doing this for the rest of our lives.”

“not the war thing,” jack clarifies. “obviously.”

“yeah. but being like this?”

“well, hopefully we’d have like, a house, not a tent in a warzone, yeah.” gabriel feels jack’s laugh in his chest. “yeah, for the rest of our lives. you’re stuck with me now. is that what you’re worried about?”

“not really.” gabriel kisses his neck again; jack squirms a little. “i think it would be cool if we… got married.”

jack pushes him back immediately, staring at him, eyes wide. there’s a tiny reflection of red light in them, blinking from the fan. “are you fucking serious?”

“wow, you can just say no.” gabriel feels a little hurt. “thought i was stuck with you?”

“oh shut up that is not what i mean.” it comes out all as one word, nearly, and gabriel feels silly. “in a war? gabe, marriage mightn’t even exist if the world fucking ends.”

“all the more reason to do it before that happens, right?” he tries shrugging, still nervous. jack hasn’t exactly said yes. “like, you know, tomorrow?”

“we’re going on a strike mission tomorrow,” jack reminds him. he’s frowning. “nobody here can do that. i thought you wanted to get married in a church.”

“pfft, overrated.” gabriel tightens his grip again, but jack is still holding him firmly back. “so that is a no?”

jack narrows his eyes, scrutinizing him. “you’re serious? you want to get married in an apocalyptic war?”

“of course i’m fucking serious, you prick.” gabriel kind of wants to throttle him for being so dense, wants an answer just a little bit more. “i don’t say shit like that for fun!”

jack’s grip loosens, and there is a long moment where he doesn’t say anything. then he rolls right over, pinning gabriel down into the mat, peppering him with kisses between laughing.

“of course i’ll marry you.” jack’s grin is radiant, even in the dark. “right now, if you want. anywhere, anytime. hmm. maybe after tomorrow, though.”

gabriel can hardly breathe, between jack crushing him and being swept up in their mingling joy. “thank fuck. cool. awesome.”

“you always have a way with words.” jack presses his forehead against gabriel’s, still smiling. “i love you.”

gabriel pulls him down into a kiss, and thinks, i love you too.

[anistarrose]

Stan and Ford Vs. The Future - Chapter 4

Summary: The elder twins struggle to set aside their differences as they battle their younger selves in gladiatorial combat.

Warnings: none

AO3: archiveofourown.org/works/17353937/chapters/40832153

Aaaaand here’s the final chapter! This was a ton of fun to write, but I’m not going to lie, I’m also really glad that I can finally live without this unfinished WIP haunting me like a ghost seeking vengeance on the one who abandoned it.

For @stanuary Week 4: Fight.

***

TIME CHALLENGE 1

OBJECTIVE: Venture into the mirror maze and shoot the Time Target with a Time Laser Gun! There are two lasers to be found, but only one target, so whoever hits it first wins!

Both pairs of twins stand facing entrances on opposite sides of the formidable looking maze, and make a mad dash inside as soon as the buzzer sounds.

“We’ll find what we’re looking for faster if we split up. Why are you following me?” the old Ford shouts.

“I’m not following you! You’re just looking at your own reflection!” the old Stan yells back.

“Wait, really?” Ford turns around, squinting suspiciously, only for Stan to trip him and rush ahead.

“Of course not! Now move aside, slowpoke!”

“Fuck you!” Ford leaps to his feet and gives chase.

“Aha!” Stan stumbles across a pedestal with a massive metallic laser gun plugged into it. “Now, where’s that target —”

“Hand that thing over right now, you knucklehead!” Ford orders. “You’ve never shot a laser gun in your life — I have!”

Stan ignores him and adjusts his grip on the gun, only for Ford to tackle him and knock them both onto the ground as a stray laser blast shoots into the sky.

“I got here first, asshole!”

“Only because you tripped me!”

“Well, then maybe you shouldn’t have been so gullible!”

“Call me gullible one more time, and I swear —” Ford tries to wind up for a punch, but he’s hopelessly tangled in the laser gun’s power cord, along with Stanley. “Shit!”

The two older twins watch helplessly as Ford’s younger self darts by, pausing every few feet to adjust the angle of an individual mirrored panel in the wall.

“Wait, you can move those?” the older Ford gasps. “I didn’t even realize —”

“Yeah, of course you didn’t, Mister Gotta Be the Big Hero Who Shoots the Cool Gun and Saves —”

“Alright, Stan!” young Ford hollers, cupping both hands to his mouth. “Fire away!”

A red laser beam whizzes over the older twins’ heads, ricocheting off mirror after mirror. A fraction of a second after it zooms out of view, a fiery explosion erupts from near the middle of the maze, and the cannons atop the walls launch neon streamers and confetti into the air.

“We did it!” young Ford cheers, rushing off into the maze again to reunite with his brother.

“Great job, poindexter,” Stan mutters. “Ya think they’ll cut us out of these power cords for the next challenge, or are we just gonna be at a handicap for that one?”

Ford groans. “As if we’re not already at a handicap with your pathetic excuse for teamwork!”

“Says the guy who hit me with a flying tackle that almost made me shoot my eye out!”

TIME CHALLENGE 1 COMPLETE

YOUNG: 1, OLD: 0

*

TIME CHALLENGE 2

OBJECTIVE: Navigate the obstacle course while trapped in a bubble with your teammate!

Each pair of brothers is enclosed in their own translucent sphere, which robots then roll onto a downwards slope dotted with obstacles ranging from bowling pins to Cosmic Sand pits.

“What even is this? Some kinda hamster ball?” the older Stan pants, running in place inside the bubble so he doesn’t fall. “Wish I had Mabel on my team instead — then we might actually be winning some of these games.”

Ford body-slams him and their sphere veers off course, rolling straight into a grid of lasers that shred it to bits. As the laser beams momentarily flicker, Stan and Ford dive to safety — just in time to get run over by their young opponents, who are cheering and practically bouncing off the walls like they’re having the time of their twelve-year-old lives as their sphere rolls between the two flags that mark the end of the course.

YOUNG: 2, OLD: 0

*

*

TIME CHALLENGE 5

OBJECTIVE: Cross the finish line first on your team’s Time Bike!

“Stanley, this isn’t working.”

“I dunno, what makes you say that?” Stan shoots back, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “No shit it’s not working, Ford!”

“I’m serious! We need to start putting aside our differences and working together, lest those kids wish their own personal fountain of youth into existence —”

“So you’ll be a better teammate? Cool, cool, I’m up for that.” Stan gestures to the neon motorcycle at his side. “You can start by riding in the back and letting me steer.”

“Are you kidding? You’re the one who needs a major attitude adjustment —” Ford cuts off, interrupted by the roar of an engine behind him.

“Hurry up, you old geezers! We’re already on our victory lap!”

The young Stan drives his team’s motorcycle right between the old twins, sticking his tounge out at the older Stan. Young Ford is standing atop the handlebars, smiling smugly and flipping the bird with two fingers on each hand.

“I always wanted to do this, and as long as I’m here, there’s no way Mom will ever find out and ground me for it!”

YOUNG: 5, OLD: 0

*

*

TIME CHALLENGE 7

OBJECTIVE: Cross the pit of deadly Time Traps to simultaneously press the buttons on each side!

All four contestants are unceremoniously dumped onto a floating clock platform, nearly tripping on the spinning minute hand. Other circular clocks of various sizes float next to their central platform, forming two distinct paths that each lead to a glowing red button — one on each side of a giant pit, lined with spikes and infested with hissing snakes that coil in the shapes of infinity symbols.

“You go left, I’ll go right!” the old Stan shouts, and for once, his brother listens, vaulting over the slowly rotating hour hand and onto the next platform with ease. Stan heads in the opposite direction, followed by the young Ford — but Stan keeps a solid lead thanks to his height advantage, while young Ford quickly gives up on jumping over the clock hands and starts just ducking under them instead.

“You ready, Sixer?” the old Stan calls, his hand hovering just a few inches above the button. “In three, two — oh, come on! What are you doing?”

The old Ford stands at the edge of a platform close — but not directly adjacent — to the goal, and he leans precariously over the edge. Stan is seconds away from cursing his brother out when he sees who Ford’s holding onto for dear life — the young Stan, hanging off the edge with his feet dangling just inches away from the fangs of three massive, uncoiled snakes.

“Look out!” the old Stan shouts as the minute hand whirls around towards his brother and younger self. Just in the nick of time, Ford heaves the young Stan out of danger and lets the two of them tumble backwards onto the platform, landing on their backs and barely fitting into the space underneath the minute hand as it whirls by.

“Well,” the old Ford says quietly, “that’s going to hurt tomorrow.”

“Why did you save me?” the young Stan whispers. “I thought — I thought you hated me…”

“What? I — you’re my brother! I don’t hate you…”

“But you will.” Stan turns over on his side, facing away from Ford to instead stare at his older self on the other side of the pit. The old Stan immediately looks away. “You hate him.”

Ford takes a full revolution of the clock to reply. “I’m angry with him. I hate what happened to my life, because of things that you — things that he did. But… I don’t hate him.”

“Then prove it.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Start acting like you don’t hate him. Give me a reason to believe you.”

Stan gets to his feet, jumping to the final platform and then to solid ground before Ford can even stand up. He swings his fist towards the button — but a second before pressing it, he hesitates, and glances to the young Ford, who nods.

“You guys deserved this win,” he tells the elder twins, backing away from the button. Across the pit, the young Ford does the same. “But we’re not showing mercy again, got it?”

The old twins press the buttons in sync, and the clock platforms plummet into the pit, shattering into neon-colored shards on the spikes.

“THAT CHALLENGE USUALLY HAS MORE CASUALTIES!” Time Baby pouts. “AT LEAST THE NEXT LEVEL WILL MAKE UP FOR IT!”

YOUNG: 6, OLD: 1

*

TIME CHALLENGE 8

OBJECTIVE: Cross the Time Bridge without falling into the tank of hungry Time Sharks!

In stark contrast with the rest of the arena’s sleek futuristic look, the two parallel bridges look ancient and decaying. The young twins immediately dash across theirs, paying no mind to the rickety planks or fraying rope, and the old Stan hesitantly puts his first foot forward onto his team’s bridge. It sways, but seems to hold.

“This is unfair!” the old Ford complains. “The kids only made it across because they weigh a mere fraction of what we do!”

“Finally, something comes out of your mouth that I can agree with,” Stan mutters as the sharks below take notice of his struggle and start swimming towards him. “Oh, come on! I’m sure I taste terrible!”

“Be careful, Stanley! You need to take lighter footsteps —” Ford shouts as Stan breaks into a run, but Stan ignores him — and sure enough, one of his feet punches straight through a rotten plank. He manages to grab the rope again and lift himself barely out of range of the sharks, even as they jump out of the water and try to chomp down on his legs, but the bridge is swaying too much for him to get much further up.

“I didn’t save your treacherous twelve year old self from snakes just for you to get eaten by sharks, you knucklehead!” Ford yells as he races onto the bridge. “Hang on, I’m coming —”

“Wait! Ford, it can’t support us both —”

This time, it’s Ford who heeds his brother’s warning too late as the ropes finally snap and he plummets into the water. Blinking salt out of his eyes as he resurfaces, he spots a ladder out of the tank just a few meters away and starts paddling towards it as fast as he can, even as he spots a dorsal fin peeking out of the water as it effortlessly glides towards him —

“Not so fast, Jaws!” Stan falls from the sky like a descending meteor, body-slamming the shark from above and no doubt catching it completely off guard. Ford takes the opportunity to scramble onto the ladder, kicking an approaching hammerhead in the nose as it tries to lunge after him, and then extends a hand to Stan, who accepts it and follows him up to safety.

“Thank you,” Ford gasps as he catches his breath. “I… I probably didn’t deserve that…”

Stan ignores him at first, concentrating on wringing out his suit, but finally speaks up.

“Well, to quote a pretty intelligent guy I know… I didn’t save your ungrateful ass from an interdimensional portal powered by radioactive waste just for you to get eaten by sharks, Brainiac.”

Ford can’t help but smile. “Alright, that’s fair enough.”

YOUNG: 7, OLD: 1

*

TIME CHALLENGE 9

OBJECTIVE: Defeat the killer Time Robot in a Time Basketball match!

“You know, Stanford,” the old Ford tells his younger self, “the world has made a lot of scientific progress since 1963! Would you like to hear about the sixteen new elements synthesized since then, or perhaps all the strides we’ve made in space travel?”

“Would I ever!” The young Ford’s eyes light up, and he drops the basketball he was holding. “Has anyone landed on the moon yet? Have scientists discovered an island of stability among heavier nuclei? How’s the theory of relativity holding up?”

“Don’t fall for it, Ford!” The young Stan grabs his brother’s arm. “He’s just trying to distract you while — aw, dang it!”

With his brass knuckles, the old Stan reflects the killer robot’s laser back into its eyes, then uses the opportunity to dunk his basketball directly through its flaming hoop, deactivating it.

“Nice one!” the old Ford shouts, and Stan shoots him a thumbs up.

“BZZT. YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY DUNKED ON ME,” the robot buzzes. “NOW YOU MAY MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND.”

“Does the next round have a football robot?” the old Stan asks.

“NEGATIVE. NOW COME ON AND SLAM, AND WELCOME TO AN UNFORGIVING GLASS PRISON YOU WILL EITHER ESCAPE FROM, OR SUFFOCATE WHILE TRYING.”

YOUNG: 7, OLD: 2

*

TIME CHALLENGE 10

OBJECTIVE: Find the Time Key to escape the Time Hourglass!

As the young twins frantically sift through the sand in their hourglass, the old Ford whispers something to his brother, who gets down on his knees and grunts as he lifts Ford up. Ford unlocks the lock with a skeleton key, removing the mesh that covers the neck of the hourglass and scrambling up and out, pulling Stan after him.

“Where did you even get that skeleton key?” Stan asks, eyeing it curiously.

“A necromancer in another dimension enchanted it for me, actually!” Ford tucks it away before any Globnar officials can notice it. “As you can see, it’s made from actual bone and changes shape to fit any lock!”

“You know any necromancers in this dimension? Asking for a friend.”

“As I’m sure banks everywhere will be relieved to know, I do not.”

YOUNG: 7, OLD: 3

*

TIME CHALLENGE 11

OBJECTIVE: Scale the pendulums of the Time Clock!

All four competitors cling to the circular bottoms of identical brass pendulums, holding on for dear life as they swing in uncoordinated rhythms.

“Why does everything have the word ‘time’ in front of it in the future?” young Ford complains. “What else would an hourglass or a grandfather clock measure? It’s so redundant!”

The old Ford, while not disagreeing, focuses on unraveling a spool of rope from his utility belt and throwing the weighted end to the old Stan. He catches it, and quickly wraps it around his own pendulum.

“Now pull it taut!” Ford calls out, and Stan does as commanded. The swinging of their adjacent pendulums slows to an almost unnoticeable wobble, and the older twins make the climb with ease.

“You know, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Ford admitted as he reached the top, “but I’m having fun.”

Stan tossed the rope back to him. “You know, I can’t believe you’re saying it either, but I’m glad.”

YOUNG: 7, OLD: 4

*

TIME CHALLENGE 12

OBJECTIVE: Be the first team to complete the Three-Legged Time Race!

Each pair of twins have their legs cuffed together, and the old team takes an early lead even as obstacles rise out of the racetrack in front of them — that is, until a spike bursts out directly in front of them and Ford dodges right as Stan dives to the left. Their cuff catches on the obstacle and they tumble to the ground, too stunned to get to their feet until long after the younger twins have overtaken them.

“Nice going, team!” Ford groans, but there’s no real malice in his voice.

“That was just a cheap shot,” Stan grumbles as he gets to his feet, offering a hand to Ford. He starts walking to the right, only for Ford to step to the left, and they can’t help but laugh as they accidentally headbutt each other.

“How did we mess that up twice? In two entirely opposite ways?”

“It’s rigged against us, I’m telling you!”

YOUNG: 8, OLD: 4

*

TIME CHALLENGE 13

OBJECTIVE: Embark on an Epic Time Quest using your Time Character Sheets and 38-Sided Time Dice to defeat the Evil Time Lich Overlord!

The young twins’ miniature fantasy avatars advance across the table, approaching a skeleton cloaked in translucent gray robes, but with a flick of its hand, it pulverizes Stan’s sword and Ford’s wand. They turn to dust that scatters in the cold, howling wind, and the young twins turn tail and run.

“You’ll have to do better than that to scare a veteran DD&MD player like myself!” the old Ford boasts, and in an overdramatic character voice, he adds: “Time Lich! Your reign of terror ends now!”

The skeleton readies another disarming blast, but Ford summons an antimagic field to surround his avatar, and he approaches the lich without fear as every one of its attacks bounce off the barrier.

“You underestimate me? I am the most powerful wizard in the land!” Ford bloviates. “It is my destiny to free this world for your tyrannical rule, and I have been training towards that goal for the entirety of the three hours I’ve been playing in this campaign!”

The lich’s eyes light up yellow with fury, but it remains oblivious to the old Stan’s avatar sneaking up behind it with a massive sword, carved from light blue crystal and imbued with divine might.

“Go ahead, fire more death bolts at me!” Ford taunts. “See how much good that does you!”

The lich plunges a bone-carved staff into the ground, and cracks begin to extend towards Ford. Yellow smoke with a rotten, sulfur-y smell pours out of the newly formed chasm at the lich’s feet, and the groans of the undead echo from deep inside the earth —

But they all go silent as Stan slices the skeleton cleanly in two with his enchanted sword. “Never turn your back on a rogue, sucker!”

The digital tabletop blinks, replacing the crumbling mountaintop setting with a congratulatory message: CAMPAIGN OVER. YOU WIN!

“That was pretty fun!” the real older Stan says, a smug smile still on his face as he retrieves the die he’d used to strike the game-ending critical hit. “You say there’s a version of this game that exists in our time?”

Ford notices the gum on the bottom of the D38, but decides not to bring it up. “There sure is! We’ll have to play again when we get back to our time!”

“I bet Dipper and Mabel would love to join — they’re nerdy and creative enough to have a ton of fun with it!”

“Wait, when does the game come out?” young Ford asks, grabbing his older self by the arm. “Where will I be able to buy it?”

“And who are Dipper and Mabel?” asks young Stan. “Are they friends of yours?”

The old Ford smiles. “What happened to you two not wanting to know what the future held?”

The young Ford is at a loss for words, but the young Stan looks at him in the eyes and smiles back.

“You gave me a reason to believe what you said before.”

YOUNG: 8, OLD: 5

*

*

TIME CHALLENGE 18

OBJECTIVE: Knock out the mighty Timeclops!

The young twins scatter out of the way of the Timeclops’s fire breath, watching in awe as the older Stan jumps on its back and socks it in its clock-shaped eye. It roars and shakes, but Stan keeps a tight hold on.

“You want me off, you’re gonna have to try harder than that!” he taunts.

The Timeclops bucks backwards, mismatched arms flailing, and Stan jumps off just in time for the old Ford to taze the monster in its exposed soft underbelly. It collapses to the ground, unconscious, and the victory bell rings.

Stan raises his hand for a high-six without thinking, and Ford very nearly completes it without thinking, barely stopping himself and dropping the taser in time. He starts to apologize, but Stan laughs it off and throws an arm over his brother’s shoulder.

“You know, Stan,” the younger Ford whispers, “I’m starting to think that growing up and becoming those guys might not actually be so bad.”

“Yeah…” Stan agrees. “But we’re still gonna kick their asses and win that Time Wish anyway, right? Just to prove that we can?”

Ford nods. “Oh, absolutely.”

YOUNG: 10, OLD: 8

*

*

TIME CHALLENGE 34

OBJECTIVE: Win the Time Arm Wrestling Match!

“Oh, this’ll be a breeze,” the old Stan boasts, flexing his muscles, but then narrows his eyes as he sees the young twins exchange identical knowing smiles.

“Not so fast!” the young Ford tells him, pulling a small marble Time Baby statue out of his pocket. “Back while you two were fighting the Timeclops, we found this hidden Time Idol, and now we’re gonna use it to turn the tables!”

He presses the hourglass emblem on the statue’s head, and its eyes light up green.

“FOR ONE ROUND ONLY, YOUR AGES WILL BE REVERSED!” a robotic voice announces, and the elder twins watch helplessly as they shrink back to the size and stature of twelve-year-olds, while the younger twins age decades in a matter of seconds.

“No!” the previously-older Stan wails. “My beefy arms! How could you steal them from me?!”

The previously-younger Ford rolls back his sleeves, examining his muscles. “Hey, I’m not a weak nerd anymore! …Not sure how I feel about these tattoos, though.”

The previously-younger Stan makes a fist, punching the palm of his other hand. “So, who’s ready to arm wrestle?”

“We forfeit!” the old Ford in a young body shouts, and his brother frantically nods in agreement. “You can take the point! Just put us back at our normal ages again!”

YOUNG: 17, OLD: 17

ONTO THE FINAL ROUND!

*

TIME CHALLENGE 45 — WINNER TAKE ALL TIEBREAKER

OBJECTIVE: Claim the Time Wish from the Time Serpent!

The four twins sit on a dock, watching as the arena slowly floods in preparation for the final battle.

“Cool!” young Ford exclaims. “Just like in Ancient Rome!”

“The more things change, the more things stay the same,” the old Ford adds. He awkwardly shifts in place, looking between his smiling younger self and his two equally content brothers. “Hey, kids? There’s no way to say this that’ll end up making much sense, but… thank you.”

The old Stan turns away from the others, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. No, don’t cry, not now and not here in front of thousands of people…

“Stan, are you all right?” the old Ford asks. “I think we’re starting in just a few moments…”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.” Stan collects himself, turning back to face his brother. “I’m ready for —”

He blinks, and his voice cuts off. Bobbing on each side of the dock are identical boats, equipped with massive harpoon guns but otherwise not at all unlike the Stan O’ War back home.

The old Ford seems equally stunned. “Oh, right. They flooded the arena, so we’ll be sailing. Of course. Should have expected that…”

The young twins gleefully hop aboard their vessel, lacking any context that might make boats emotionally confusing, and get right to work raising the sails and loading the harpoon gun. The older twins procede onboard much more slowly and carefully, like they’re floating just above an underwater mine that could explode at any moment.

I have to bring it up to him now, Stan thinks. This is the least pissed he’s been at me since we were in high school, and we’re already right here on a boat, so it’s relevant…

But before he can summon the courage, Ford beats him to it and asks: “Stan, when we get back home… would you like to go sailing with me after the end of the summer?”

“More than anything else in the world, Sixer,” Stan finally manages after a long stunned silence.

The buzzer sounds, the boats raise their anchors, and a dark shadow uncoils beneath the waves, but most importantly of all, Stan feels alive in a way he hasn’t in years.

“Glad to hear it —” Ford tells him, interrupted as a wave from the serpent’s tail strikes the boat, but he laughs loudly and heartily even as he staggers backwards to regain his balance. “Now turn starboard, quick!”

Stan heaves the rudder to the side as the serpent’s glistening green-scaled head bursts out of the water. It opens a mouth lined with fangs and breathes a spray of brine directly into Stan’s face, blurring his vision, but with commands shouted by Ford every few seconds, their ship still navigates the waves with ease, dodging blow after blow from the serpent.

The other ship trails from a distance, unable to breach the unpredictable patterns of waves, and the young twins watch with wide eyes as the old Ford aims the harpoon gun and fires from point-blank range. The harpoon doesn’t pierce any scales, but its sheer force causes the serpent to reel backwards and gag, coughing up a glowing yellow orb that sails through the air and lands neatly on the deck of the old Stan and Ford’s ship.

Ford is poised to pick it up, but he pauses at the last moment, and waits for Stan to join him. Then they both throw their arms over each other’s shoulders and reach for it in unison.

The rotating hourglass symbol inside spins faster and faster, glowing brighter and brighter until the blinding golden light that emanates from it envelops the whole colosseum. When it subsides, the serpent dives back beneath the waves, and the older team’s score shoots up to the maximum.

YOUNG: 17, OLD: 999

TEAM 2012 WINS THE TIME WISH!

*

“YOU HAVE CLAIMED THE MIRACULOUS POWER TO ALTER TIME PARADOX-FREE!” Time Baby congratulates the older twins. “NOW WHAT WISH SHALL YOU MAKE, AND WHAT FATE WILL YOU CHOOSE FOR THE LOSERS?”

The old Stan and Ford look at each other, and then at their younger selves.

“We’re not going to wipe your memories, that’s for sure,” the old Ford assures them. “But I’m not too keen on letting you stay eternally young, either.”

The young Stan sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, it was kind of a bad idea anyway…”

“If my Ford and I had kept being stubborn assholes, I almost wouldn’t have blamed ya,” the old Stan admits, “but I think we’re done with that whole grudge thing, right, Ford?”

“It’s about time we did,” Ford agrees, before turning to address Time Baby. “Is it within your power to create two separate, coexisting timelines?”

“OF COURSE IT IS — I’M TIME BABY! I DROP MY PACIFIER, AND A NEW TIMELINE SPAWNS INTO EXISTENCE!”

“Well, then —” Ford places his hand on the Time Wish floating at his side. “We wish for our younger selves to be returned to 1963, but in a new timeline where they aren’t required to follow our path, while my Stan and I go back to our timeline in 2012. Is that alright with you, Stanley?”

“Almost. Just gotta do one last thing.” Stan points at his younger self. “Hey, you — be careful around your brother’s science experiments, don’t listen to Dad when he says you’ll never make a fortune, and invest in cryptid-based tourism as soon as you can. Should do pretty well for yourself as long as you remember all that.”

“Oh, that’s wise,” Ford says. “Stanford, you should absolutely visit the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon because it’s full of incredible anomalies previously unknown to science, but you should absolutely never read anything you find inscribed on the walls of the caves there. Also, just to be safe, be extremely wary around snappily dressed triangles or anyone with slit yellow eyes. Don’t build any interdimensional portals no matter who tells you it’s a good idea! Cryptozoology is more than enough to make you famous — not that you even need fame to prove yourself as a scientist. You’ll also do perfectly well for yourself as long as you’re careful around the supernatural, and stick by Stanley’s side.”

A glowing golden portal appears behind the younger twins, and they both nod.

“Thanks, guys,” the young Ford tells them. “See you — well, I guess we won’t be seeing or becoming you now that we’re not the same people anymore…”

The old Stan shrugs. “Look, I’m no scientist, but being parallel timeline versions of each other sounds close enough to being the same. At the very least, we’ll always be thinking of you guys, and you’ll always be thinking of us.”

The old Ford nods. “That’s a drastic oversimplification of the workings of the multiverse, but not necessarily a misleading one.”

“Goodbye, grumpy old us.” The young Stan gives them one last wave, and he and Ford step through the portal. “Have fun sailing around the world.”

***

The old Ford and Stan awaken on the porch of the Mystery Shack, the night still just as young as it had been when they’d first been arrested.

“Okay, Dr. Science, do you know why my watch hasn’t move forward even though I still feel exhausted?” Stan asks.

Ford sighs. “Just Time Baby having one last laugh, I assume.”

Stan gets to his feet and opens the door. “I’m gonna go crash in the living room. Not sure these old tired legs can make it upstairs.”

Ford follows him. “Glad I’m not the only one whose adrenaline has thoroughly worn off. I’m not sure I could make it downstairs.” He pauses. “Stan, in a day or two from now, after we’ve gotten some rest and maybe played some tabletop RPGs with the kids, how would you feel about exploring an alien spaceship with me?”

Stan collapses onto his chair in the living room. “Ask me again when my back isn’t killing me, but the answer then will definitely be a ‘hell yes.’”

Ford sits down in a chair at the table, pulling off his trench coat and folding it into a makeshift pillow. “Good night, Stanley.”

“Goodnight, Sixer.”

***

End notes:

In the prime timeline, Stan and Ford succeed in getting the alien adhesive from the spaceship, and use it to seal up the rift permanently — and then, just for good measure, study the Zodiac and use it to permanently banish Bill from the dimension. They spend the next few years sailing around the world, and meet up with the kids every summer for DD&MD sessions and other family bonding activities.

I think that the Ford from the new timeline doesn’t get into West Coast Tech, but does get a full scholarship to a school much nicer than Backupsmore. Stan is careful around Ford’s experiments, including the many inventions inspired by things Ford saw in the future — but Filbrick is still an asshole, so he kicks Stan out the day after he turns eighteen. Luckily, this coincides with Ford moving into his college dorm, so Stan semi-legally lives with Ford in his dorm room for a few months until Ford convinces him to apply to the college’s art program, and Stan’s comics about time travel start to garner a lot of attention. Somewhere along the line, they meet Fidds, and many fun Mystery Trio adventures are had in Gravity Falls without any Bill involvement whatsoever.

[atamascolily]

The cover art of Junior Jedi Knights: Promises by Nancy Richardson has Anakin about to be eaten by a giant green dragon on what appears to be Tatooine while Sand People lurk in the distance and a terrified Tahiri swings a gaderiffi stick at the dragon while trying not to trip over human skulls. So I'm all-in, despite the incredibly vague title.

Anakin dreams he's back in the Palace of Woolamanders with the golden globe (not the prestigious TV award), arguing with a Sith who turns out to be... himself! Becuse if you're not grappling with the legacy of your fucked-up grandfather, then what is even the point of being named after him?

(I get why Leia names him after her father. I really do. Still, was it necessary to give this poor kid EVEN MORE ANGST than his siblings?)

Tahiri wakes Anakin up. Her six-month trial period at the Academy is up, and she has to go back to Tatooine to tell Sliven, the leader of her tribe, her decision. *hums "Should I Stay or Should I Go"* Of course, we already know what the answer's going to be, but okay fine, field trip to Tatooine, let's go.

As you can imagine, Luke has Opinions about these two:

Luke Skywalker studied the look of defiance. Green eyes flashed, and white blonde hair surrounded a stubborn nine-year-old face. Luke’s blue eyes didn’t falter as he waited for the child to speak. It would not be long. Tahiri was rarely lost for words. Luke thought about the time she and his nephew, Anakin Solo, had snuck away from the Jedi academy. They’d returned to the Great Temple in the middle of the night. Tired and dirty, Tahiri had immediately begun chattering, trying to take all the blame for the adventure, trying to keep Luke’s punishment from extending to Anakin. What Luke hadn’t told either of them was that they were two of the most promising students he’d ever seen. There was no way he would expel either student. They would make great Jedi Knights one day-if they could keep out of trouble long enough to learn to use the Force.

Trouble seemed to find Tahiri and Anakin. Only last week they’d returned bruised and battered from Yavin 8, where they’d gone to help another candidate, a Melodie named Lyric, survive her changing ceremony. While on Yavin 8, the two candidates had fought giant black rodents, vicious snakes, and a red-bristled spider that trapped its prey in thick black webs and consumed it alive. Luke Skywalker believed that experience was the best teacher in the use of the Force, but Anakin and Tahiri always rushed headlong into dangerous situations.

That worried Luke.

I don't know why Luke is surprised, given that he knows Leia and Han's approach to parenting, and also he's ostensibly been teaching the twins. Compared to the trouble Jacen and Jaina get up to, Anakin's barely scratched the surface.

Tahiri says she doesn't want to go back to Tatooine, but Luke mentions his own issues about not going back to say good-bye to his family there, and asks Tahiri if she wants that. Then Luke goes to ask good old Peckhum to take them all to Tatooine - because this time, Luke's going, too.

And Luke had a strange feeling that Tahiri’s family, the Tusken Raiders, were dangerous as well.

No, REALLY? YOU THINK?

Ikrit's going to spend the entire book sleeping in Anakin's bed again, I see. Smart guy.

Tahiri has a pendant macguffin with her parents' thumbprints - a gift from Sliven. Sliven won't talk about Tahiri's parents, and she doesn't know why.

“All I know is that the Tusken Raiders are the only family I’ve ever known. The only family I have. If I choose to remain at the academy, I’ll lose them forever. I’ll truly be an orphan.”

I don't see why it's an all-or-nothing deal, except for drama, but... okay then.

“I feel so mixed-up right now. I’m about to return to the only home I know. It’s a place I hate and love, both at the same time. Just as I hate and love the Tusken Raiders. My life is as confusing to me as the golden globe. Except, unlike with the globe, I don’t have any clue about who I really am. I don’t even know if Tahiri is my real name, or just a name given to me by Sliven.”

TAHIRI *IS* YOUR REAL NAME, YOU ALREADY SAID HE WAS YOUR FATHER. Look, I sympathize with Tahiri's confusion, because it's GOT to be hard to feel like you never fit into either world you belong to, but... ADOPTED FAMILY IS JUST AS REAL (sometimes more so) than blood family and I hope the final moral will be Tahiri learning that.

Oh, and I thought Luke was coming along, but no, it's Tionne! This makes sense because Tionne was the one who found Tahiri on Tatooine in the first place, and also I love Tionne, so I'm happy the author's given her something to do in this book.

The Jedi instructor Tionne glanced back to make sure her two charges were seated. Luke Skywalker had sent her to watch over Anakin and Tahiri on Tatooine-to make sure that nothing harmed them. And that Tahiri returned to the Jedi academy, if she wished.

HAHAHA, I already know from the cover this is not going to work out, but hopefully Tionne will at least give it the old college try...

The Sand People are waiting for them, and there's some initial conflict, which Tahiri quickly smoothes over. Tahiri isn't wearing her face coverings or shoes, and Sliven is okay with that, so I guess this book isn't going to go the whole "unclothed flesh is abomination" route of other Legends books. Also, the narrative always refers to them as "Tusken Raiders" which is NOT what they call themselves - it's what the settlers call them. This is fine if we're seeing things from Anakin's or Tionne's POV, but not when it's Tahiri's! That's NOT how somebody raised by these people would think of them!! ARRGH!!

Anakin wishes they'd landed at Mos Eisley. LOL. Like Tionne would ever take you there. He's distracted by Tahiri re-uniting with her bantha, Bangor - Sliven says they don't name them, but Tahiri does anyway. Tahiri has a rappor with Bangor because he's an orphan, too... And here Sliven (rightfully) gets mad and says she's not an orphan and they need to go.

You will not be surprised to learn that Anakin Solo hates sand.

Oh, apparently, the rest of the Sand People don't trust Tahiri and they're the ones who issued the ultimatum that she has to choose between them or the Jedi. I don't know why Sliven negotiated this homecoming-of-sorts, but plot, I guess.

“Sliven knows that if I choose to remain at the academy the tribe will refuse to take me back. I think that having me return to make my decision was Sliven’s way of giving me one last chance to remain with the tribe, and with him.”

“It sounds like he truly cares for you,” Anakin offered.

“Cares?” Tahiri weighed the word thoughtfully. “In his own way, I know he does. But he’s never cared enough to give me the one thing in my life that I wanted. He has never told me the story of how he found me. And if he truly cared, he would give me my history,” Tahiri ended sadly.

I am 100% on Sliven's side here, although I sympathize with Tahiri's yearning to know more about her past.

There's a woman named Vexa, who hates Tahiri. She also hates Sliven because he brought an outsider into the tribe. If Tahiri lives, Sliven gets to lead, and if not, he's going to die. Tahiri is pissed because Sliven never mentioned this before.

(Tionne is doing all the translating here for some reason, even though Tahiri is speaking in Basic to Vexa, and it's not clear to me if the narrative has established that why she WOULD speak Basic?? But okay...yay, Tionne!)

Basically, Tahiri's trial is a version of a walkabout in the Dune Sea and Jundland Waste crossed with hide and seek to rejoin the tribe. If she doesn't do this, she has to go back to the Academy and Sliven dies. Now Tionne is pissed because neither she nor Luke knew this was on the table, and they don't want Tahiri getting hurt.

Sliven's bait for getting Tahiri to participate is the truth about her parents.... which seems really convoluted and complicated, but okay. Of course Tahiri accepts, so Anakin decides to go to. Tionne tells them no but Sliven says they'll fight her, so... there's that. Okay then.

(Sigh. Tionne, you're a Jedi! Use your words to persuade them! Sing them to sleep or something! Don't just stand there and... abdicate responsibility here!)

(Yes, I know this is JF and that's why Adults Are Useless, because this is an escapist fantasy for the youth, but... really? REALLY??)

Sliven was injured in battle with smugglers and taken in by Cassa and Tryst Veila, two moisture farmers, and their three-year-old Tahiri. He becomes part of the family - they teach him Basic, he teaches Tryst how to fight with a gaderiffi. In a plot decision that makes me wince, Tryst is instantly better than Sliven, despite the fact that Sliven has trained his entire fucking life with this weapon and I just... Can't Even... but Tryst was Force-sensitive and I'm just... THAT'S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS, OKAY???

Anyway, Sliven and Tryst are sparring, and the rest of the tribe (do they have a name?? apparently not) see them, think Sliven's being attacked, and kill Tryst and Cassa. Vexa wants to let Tahiri die, too, and Sliven refuses, so they make this stupid bargain. Apparently, the Sand Peoples' kids reach adulthood at nine, so that's why they're doing this now. Oh, and Sliven made the thumbprint necklace macguffin after Tryst and Cassa died, which is... really creepy. Sliven is consumed with guilt, and Tahiri lectures him about caring and I just... can't... even...

But she wants Sliven's thumbprint on the macguffin next to her parents, so at least she gets THAT right.

Anyway, they drop Anakin and Tahiri in the desert and ride off, and Tahiri nearly gets eaten by a tentacle monster (a Sarlacc? unclear) and Anakin has to save her, and I just... why. Tahiri grew up here, she should know how to handle this planet, not be rescued by Anakin, who's never been here in his life. Fuck that.

Next encounter on the wandering monster table is... Jawas! Anakin fixes their broken sandcrawler with his magic tech powers, but only after mind-tricking them into letting him aboard, and I just... I feel like this is ethically compromising and maybe somebody who's worried about becoming like his evil granddad maybe should be a bit more careful about manipulating the free will of sentient beings??

Anyway, they jump-start the crawler and the grateful Jawas give them food and water and a ride and two gaderiffi sticks. Womp rats scream in the distance. They find bodies. They're being stalked by a krayt dragon but Tahiri only thought to mention that now.

Krayt dragons were large carnivorous reptiles that lived in the mountains surrounding Tatooine’s Jundland Wastes. Some thought that the dragons no longer existed, that they’d become extinct when settlers came to Tatooine, exposing them to various infections as well as hunting them for food and trophies.

This is an interesting world-building detail I'd never heard before!

Anakin tries to mind-trick the krayt dragon, but it doesn't work, so Tahiri rescues him. They make it out, and keep going. They're almost out of water, and Tahiri finds a hubba gourd for Anakin's wounds. Tahiri decides to use the Force to call Bangor, and it doesn't work until she and Anakin call together. They get back just as Vexa's trying to declare Tahiri dead. Tahiri makes a dramatic entrance.

Sliven wins! He says this means Tahiri is now a part of the tribe for real. Tahiri disagrees:

“I now understand that I was never a Tusken Raider. The skills we both used to survive weren’t the skills of a Raider. We used the Force. And now I know that I’m meant to attend the academy. To grow strong, and to use that strength to break the curse of the golden globe, and one day become a Jedi Knight.”

WHAT. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T USE ANY OF THE SKILLS SLIVEN TAUGHT YOU TO SURVIVE. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

(It's fine if that's Tahiri's decision - indeed, given the set-up of the book I would expect no less- but the reasoning here. I just... arrrrghhh.)

“What about Sliven? Won’t you miss him?” Anakin asked.

“That’s the hardest part,” Tahiri said sadly. “I love Sliven, but I know that I belong at the Jedi academy, not with the Sand People.”

“Then let us leave here,” Tionne said.

FINALLY TIONNE TAKES SOME AGENCY BESIDES STANDING AROUND AND LOOKING WORRIED.

But Tahiri gets Sliven's thumbprint on her pendant and take care of her bantha (forever!) and they leave. Anakin has a fever from his wounds. Luke is not pleased.

Luke Skywalker waited for the Lightning Rod’s cargo bay to open. Slowly the massive jaws of the bay yawned wide, revealing Luke’s nephew and Tahiri. Luke was pleased to see that the girl had returned. She belonged at the Jedi academy. He moved forward to greet the Jedi candidates.

“Welcome home-” Master Luke began. But his words caught in his throat as he stared at his students. Anakin struggled to stand and walk down the cargo bay’s ramp. Old Peckhum held one of his arms tightly, steadying him as hewalked. Anakin took several tottering steps, then fell forward. Luke anticipated his nephew’s collapse, and caught the boy in his arms.

Gently he lowered Anakin to the ground. Anakin’s academy jumpsuit was shredded on one side, revealing five gashes. There were dark circles under his eyes, and bruises were visible on his neck and hands. Tahiri knelt by her friend. The girl did not look much better, Luke thought in dismay. Spots of dried blood lined her jumpsuit in a pattern that looked like jaw marks. She, too, looked tired and hungry.

Luke’s eyes met Tionne’s for a brief moment. From her look of torment, he knew she’d tried her best to protect the children.

“Hi, Uncle Luke,” Anakin said with a small voice.

“What happened?” Luke asked in a voice full of worry.

“The Tusken Raiders had a little more in mind for me than just deciding whether or not to remain with the tribe,” Tahiri replied.

“We’ll talk later,” Luke said quietly to Tionne. “Right now, you are both going to the medical droid.” With that, he swept his nephew up in his arms and strode toward the turbolift, with Tahiri trailing.

I CAN'T. I CAN'T EVEN.

WHAT THE HELL IS LUKE GOING TO SAY TO TIONNE?

Anakin wakes up attended by a medical droid and also Luke. Leia wants Anakin home, but Han and Luke intervened. Remind me why Leia sent her kids here again? Doesn't she KNOW Luke's teaching style by now?

“Now get well, or Leia will never forgive me,” Luke instructed. Luke Skywalker sat beside his nephew as he slept. He wondered if the strange feeling of untold danger he’d sensed before sending the children to Tatooine had been a premonition of the promise Tahiri had chosen to keep. Luke closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. At least the children were safe.

No, Luke, that was called BEING A RESPONSIBLE ADULT, and YOU MISSED IT YET AGAIN.

Anakin falls asleep and goes back to his dream from the beginning, and uses the Force "to control his inner self", whatever that means. Tahiri wakes him up. Ikrit makes a dramatic entrance.

The Jedi Master, his white fur and the stones of the Great Temple strangely blending, scurried from the corner and leapt onto the window ledge. “After all,” he rasped, “this is only one battle of good versus evil. There will be others, if you are not up to the fight.”

Thnks, Captain Obvious! Anakin and Tahiri decide to go ahead and Ikrit... runs away, because they have to do this On Their Own. Sigh. This time, they walk to the Palace of the Woolamanders and I don't know why they couldn't just do that in Book One. Sigh. The evil voices try to use Tahiri's history against her, and she cites ALL her parents in rebuffing them. YES, GOOD. Then they try to use Darth Vader against Anakin and he laughs and the evil subsides. YES, GOOD.

Anakin and Tahiri enter the globe and free the childrens' spriits. The globe shatters and I half-expected the temple to crumble to pieces as they leave but it doesn't. Apparently, Ikrit went to get Luke, who is waiting for them outside.

“You know everything?” Anakin asked his uncle, gesturing toward Ikrit.

Luke Skywalker nodded. He wrapped his arms around Anakin’s and Tahiri’s shoulders.

“I am very proud,” Luke said, his eyes meeting theirs.

Slowly the group walked back toward the Jedi academy. For the first time in a long time, Anakin and Tahiri were not heading toward danger, but simply toward the future-adventure, the Force, and their ultimate goal: to become Jedi Knights.

The end.

OKAY THEN.

So, I didn't think the globe arc was going to resolve so quickly, but okay, fine, whatever. I thought that was going to be an entire book on its own. Tionne is basically useless here, which annoys me and I don't even know why she came at all. Luke is incredibly irresponsible, and Ikrit doesn't do anything. WHY. WHY. SUCH A WASTE. Sliven deserves better, and this book makes me angry at Tahiri for treating him the way she does for most of it. The crappy worldbuilding makes me cranky. I didn't feel like Books 1 and 2 could benefit much from re-writes, but this one is crying out for fix-it fics because HONESTLY.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Devil’s No 1(8)

Chapter 8: Euphoria

Loki x fem!Reader, Bucky x fem!Reader

Theme: The definitions of devils, angels, demons etc. are twisted here in this world. But some things remain the same.

Series: Will contain violence, death, destruction, softness, fluff, smut, everything that my mind can conjure, really.

Chapter warnings: None… is a kink a warning? Like...voice kink?

A/N: This was written two years ago (I think) on @phantomrose96 ‘s prompt/situation of a shy girl summoning the devil to be friends with him (and something else that he does but I’ll leave that part out for you guys to have fun with). But I- being thirsty for tragedies- twisted things a little.

Word Count: Cold sucks. Itchy throat sucks. Runny nose sucks. Cough sucks. Dusty weather sucks. The inability of my brain to move on sucks. The ability of my brain to create a fucking universe around the person it has a crush on once in like two years SUPER DUPER SUCKS!

MASTERLIST in bio, love. Tags are open

Pic credits: @russian-hiddlestoner​

The non-periodic clatter of cutlery was nowhere near to bringing peace to your otherwise burning heart but the seemingly soulful R&B piece that was faint yet somehow reverberating through this dark place was one tiny corner of solace in the back of your mind.

The darkness...this darkness was supposed to be whole; to help you heighten your senses to the things going on in your immediate surroundings. But you wanted to be a bit farther from them.

“You are quite distant.”

The ice-laden voice rubbing all over your ears made you shudder where you sat. Holy mother of-

“Hm?” You tried to break out of the imagery of those thin corrupt lips running a tangent on the outside of your ears, hoping the Devil still could not read your thoughts.

“I said you are quite distant,” Loki repeated in the dark, forcing you to draw a gulp, “this table is too big. We can barely have a conversation.”

...right. That’s our biggest problem.

“Doesn’t matter,” you mumbled, your hand carefully moving over the table to look for the glass of your cocktail before tackling it out of nowhere- thankfully not spilling it over, “it’s dark and we can barely see anything.”

Taking a sip of limoncello, you heard Loki give out a disgruntled moan.

“Why are we here again?”

Sigh.

So I don’t have to see your face till I decide what to do with you. Or me.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged and rolled your eyes, “this place is said to have the best food and-” you raised your brows at yourself for saying-“ambience.”

“And yet you haven’t eaten anything,” came the quick reply, pausing your fingers wrapped around the glass holding your drink to take the glass further towards your lips.

“I’m not hungry,” you inhaled the words, realising a little late something about Loki’s astute observation. “Wait,” you nearly sat up in your seat, looking straight into the void, hoping you were looking right at him, “you can…see?” The last word was less of a statement but more of a concern filled conclusion to self.

There was a sudden alteration in your senses- a tectonic shift in your being for you felt your head swirl a bit in the space devoid of any light, your dominant hand leaving the drink while the other going over to claw into the edge of the seat you were now apparently dissolving into. It was an uncalled buzz, a feeling of your body free of the shackles of gravity, moving where the wave wanted to take it, and your mind just going with it, seeing a streak of green moving with your eyes like the moon following you wherever you went. The pain running inside your body too was confused by this deviation, trying to find a ground for breeding, only to cocoon itself into a ball in the very centre till it could find something to attach itself to.

And just as you felt your head hit something soft and comfortable in the floating abyss, the green streak stopped short to transform into a pair of eyes in front of you a few feet away.

“I can see, love,” the eyes seemed to purr directly at you as they drew closer, bringing with them a questionably pleasant chill. “I can see, everything.”

The eyes rose up, making you go further into whatever it is you were already lying in. Something soft and cold with an ounce of pure sinistral intentions moved up your bare leg, reverberating your insides with that snake-like movement, making the hairs rise and glow at the roots like the flora and fauna of the night on the beach; or simply put- something straight out of a galactic fantasy.

“I can hear,” the whisper was near as were the eyes that were stripping away layers after layers of your being to stare right into your soul, almost in contact with the last sheet covering the bare minimum. “I can smell,” the whisper resonated as you closed your eyes, your lips parting on hearing that siren voice right next to your eyes before there was a tingle right near the collar, an intake of breath- intake of your ardour. You were exposed even without being naked.

“Loki,” you heard your breath beg before anything could make sense in the mush that was your brain.

Your eyes opened to the same green eyes, but this time, small elliptical pupils lit up in the same hue next to those eyes. One, two, three, four...you lost count till they were popping out everywhere, unwillingly lighting you up your existence where you stood in this endless void.

“I can sense everything.”

Silence.

Wait…

I...I...know this?

In that incoherent silence broken only by the light through those pupils surrounding those dominating pair of pupils, you felt a tinge of familiarity. You had seen something like this before. The same eyes. Similar demeanour. Just a different hue and a lot of different intentions.

Nearly everything was the same except the ones you’d seen before had been purple instead of green.

You moved closer to them, to the pair that controlled them all, bringing your arm forward like a reflex that had been forgotten and had just been taken out from some dusty corner of your brain. Your hand went over to touch the green in that biggest pupil, that was bigger than your physical being right now, feeling a swirling force engulf before everything went dark.

.

Oh, it was such a tease to play with you for Loki. His smallest quip would raise your tiniest of nerves, giving Loki a different kind of high.

Y/N.

He was inhaling your name like the devil’s personal brand of ecstasy. Well, why wouldn’t he? This human was turning out to be quite the drug.

She’s putty in my hands, Loki thought, as he saw you grab your chair when he took your consciousness out to play, your body feeling the euphoria through and through. His high hit another level when he saw your aura being ripped off that muddy layer just as he touched you, visibly lighting up your nerves for him to devour your illuminated beauty through his eyes.

Loki.

His name echoed through your consciousness like a roar of thunder and Loki really had to grasp himself to feel the metaphorical ground after that one exhilarating elation of victory. You were clay in his presence.

And all that was left, was one last shot of fear that he could drink off you before going back to pretending to be your friend for a while. So, he did the tried and tested.

He opened his eyes. All of them. Opening his vision to the dimensions, a mere effort on his part for the lifetime of thrill he was about to get from the screams and torture your soul was going to feel right now.

At least that was what he thought would happen till he saw you look at him- all of him- with unadulterated curiosity before stepping forward to touch him- to be precise, his eyes- making him jolt both of you back into your reality, breaking away every other vine of the devil’s enchantment he had on you, finding both himself and you back at that restaurant.

What in the- 

He took in one long inhale to let his human form come to terms with what just happened. He could see you clutching your forehead while taking the support of the table, trying to bring your still swirling brain back to the three dimensions.

No one in his known existence had ever dared to even walk towards the flaming eyes of the devil, let alone try to touch them.

And you? You had managed to do both.

You had taken the Devil by surprise tonight.

A snap led to the entire hall to be flooded with light- specifically the soft LEDs that graced the walls, hence illuminating the space like on giant cuboid- everyone gasping while the waiters went around shielding their eyes as the night vision aids in front of their eyes suddenly glared up.

You looked around, finding comfort in the light, feeling your feet on the ground- though it was just the tip of your toes that were touching the floor through the sneakers- before your eyes rested on Loki, who had a very strange look in his eyes; the eyes that were dead set on you.

You blinked and looked away before coming back to those green pupils that were still stuck on you.

You looked down at the table, your fingers moving the one ring in your dominant hand round and round in the loop of anxiety before you finally let impulse take over.

“You...um...didn’t touch your food either,” you mentioned, your gaze taking in the platter of lobster served as if it was being presented to royalty.

You could see those green pupils narrow just the littlest before the napkin on his lap was dropped on the table and he got up to straighten his jacket. “We’re done here,” he announced before walking out, leaving you to not-so-meticulously drag out your chair, wobble up on your legs, pick your napkin from the ground and rush out to catch him.

She’s putty in my hands, his own words now mocked him as he tried to make sense of his reality.

You, clearly, were no ordinary human. 

At least not tonight.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

601-602: "Shaking up the New World! Caesar's Horrendous Experiment!" and "The Deadliest Weapon of Mass Destruction in History! Shinokuni"

Don’t think Law’s up for it, Caesar...

This may be a controversial opinion, but I think Caesar is great.

Not a great person, obviously. I mean, if you think Caesar is a wonderful person, you probably need therapy. But. As a character? As a villain in the crapsaccharine world of OP which is rammed with strong personalities? Yeah. Absolutely a good, fun-time villain.

So far, he is unrepentantly, unashamedly wicked. He is a business-minded, deceitful, manipulative snake with charisma through the roof, who also happens to be an excellent scientist. He has a flamboyant, dramatic, highly-strung personality, which is super entertaining. He has a memorable design and a hilariously expressive face. (YMMV, of course. I know a lot of people hate villains like Caesar, but I love them.)

It’s early days yet. I mean something could yet happen that might make me go off him (e.g. I hate it when villains are woobified). But right now, Caesar is stealing the show. I look forward to watching each episode because I wonder what that deranged monster is going to do next.

Now Luffy and Law’s fight back is about to begin, I await his screeching downfall with baited breath. (As much as I love villains, I also love watching their plans unravel.)

Last Christmas, a Clown Kept Your Heart

And the very next day, he gave it away.

Next year, to save himself tears, 

Law allied with Strawhat Luffy.

I’ll bet that joke has been done to death, undeath, and back again, but come on! Who can resist such low-hanging fruit? Caesar Clown is the gift that keeps on giving.

He was on sparkling form again across episodes 601 and 602.

The action kicked in with Smoker’s Marines hammering at Caesar’s front door. One Marine began to notice they were the only ones left outside. Caesar’s minions had hoofed it round the back. Wasn’t that strange? He was ignored. (Don’t worry. We heard you, random fodder Marine.)

An airship passed overhead (they must be a thing in the OPverse as the Marines recognised it.) Caesar arrived with the Lab Kiddies in tow.

“Come on, children, you can get off now,” he sang. “And remember, this is your home. Don’t ever go out on your own. And of course you can have candy soon. Go straight back to the biscuit room. I’ve left plenty of candy in there for you. Now, I have to go back to my research room. Relax and enjoy the delicious, delicious candies.”

Trans: you kids are bugging me already. Beat it back to your room so I can get back to marketing my chemical weapons to dodgy brokers round the world.

The black-haired girl called Mocha had a flash of regret. She was lucid for just long enough to realise she’d just walked right back into hell again. “Nami and the others were very nice to me!” she screamed, banging on the door, “why is it so scary here? Is it because I’m not a good child?” (Caesar must have said stuff like that to them before. Bad things happen to you if you’re not a good child. I only give my crack-candy to the good children, etc.)

Back in Caesar’s lounge/bar whatever it is, Vergo got a fucking spoon stuck on his face while drinking coffee. That guy must have adhesive stubble, or something. He was wondering what was taking Caesar so long?

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, right? 

The first thing Caesar did was apologise to Vergo for keeping him waiting. At this point I still had no idea why Vergo was there. To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure why Vergo showing up is a bad thing for Law. Like, of course Caesar would rat out a threat to his boss, but if Caesar had Law’s heart, he could have just squished it once Monet told him Law had been making arrangements with the Strawhats behind his back.)

Caesar bitched that Vergo didn’t have Smoker under better control (because when Smoker showed up, Caesar had a brief ohshit moment). Vergo admitted that Smoker is a wild card and that no one has control of him. Buuuuut.... now Smoker will be dead soon, so it was all cool.

Law Pushes Caesar’s Buttons

Caesar, who had missed the welcome party, took a moment to become acquainted his his new hostages and indulge in a spot of button pushing.

“Look at yourself, Law. I bet you were quite helpless against Vergo, hm? The deal I had with you worked in my favour.”

Now the heart-in-a-box squishing stuff makes much more sense. Turns out Law can also shamble his own heart into a box (not the best idea when dealing with a treacherous snake of a scientist, to be honest).

When Law first turned up, looking to stay on Punk Hazard, Caesar said: “In exchange for letting you stay, you’re going to give my people legs? Fine. But since you’re stronger than me and I’M the boss of this island, if you want to stay here, I need insurance. I want to entrust my dear secretary Monet’s heart to you. In return, I keep your heart and it’s a deal. As long as we have each other by the balls, you can’t do anything bad and I’ll feel safe.”

Interesting. Caesar sees Law as being stronger than him. Probably a known haki user? Caesar can’t be that strong then. He’s just tricky and/or has a strong fruit. Also, notice Caesar did not volunteer his own heart. He volunteered Monet’s.

For a moment I wondered why Caesar was blaming Law for the whole trust issue. Hadn’t Caesar called Vergo on Law for some random, unknown reason?

Nah, turns out Monet had overheard Law’s plan to kidnap him and forge an alliance with the Strawhats.

I mean, sure Caesar is pretty evil and all, but if I were him and my lodger was teaming up with some dude and planning to kidnap me, I’d call my boss for backup too. Why he gave the heart to Vergo is kind of a mystery, but whatever. I’ll find out soon enough if I need to know.

Law, being caught out, went straight for the roast.

“You’ve been saved by your diligent secretary, eh? I should’ve been more careful about Monet. Since the “Master” was so dumb, I didn’t care much.”

Ooooooooh, Caesar was maaaaaaad. He hates being called dumb. (I bet it’s that superiority complex. Vegapunk has always been the glorious, lauded genius while he has to work in the shadows for psychos.) 

Just before Caesar took out his wounded ego on Smoker’s heart, Monet said the Smiley-cam video feed was ready. 

No, You Didn’t, You Sentient Gas-Blob Murderer! How Could You?

So Caesar immediately switched his attention to his Big Marketing Campaign. A caged Marine could wait. Not a priority.

All over the OPverse, brokers and dodgy characters watched Caesar’s Big Moment (by the way, did I see Laffite in 602? I spied a tall top hat and a bottle of Jack Daniels-type booze on a table). 

Caesar gleefully explained how Smiley worked. Smiley was the HS2 poison gas bomb that killed almost everything on Punk Hazard four years ago. However, there was a problem with Caesar’s experiment last time round. It killed *almost* everything. Despite being at death’s door, some inconvenient survivors insisted on surviving. How rude!

To counteract that, he has given Smiley a boost that will sort the whole survivors issue.

And, oh, the fake tears! The hilarity when Smiley would not do what the fuck Caesar said. “SMILEY, I MISSED YOU! THIS BRINGS BACK WONDERFUL MEMORIES OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION! I HAVE A DELICIOUS TREAT FOR YOU---- WAIT, DON’T EAT THAT NOW... well, um... I suppose it’s okay... YES, HAHAHAHA, EAT THE TREAT!”

You’re not fooling anyone, Caesar. xD

The giant candy Smiley munched fizzed like a seltzer. Smiley was not feeling so good. It was kind of a shame, actually. I’d grown to like Smiley. It was like a giant, deadly, disobedient dog who does not listen to a word its human says when food is involved.

And Caesar disguised Smiley’s death as a treat.

With a Slasher Smile Like That, You Probably Petrify People on a Daily Basis

Well, Caesar would say Smiley is reborn. “Good work, Smiley! I will see you again! Be reborn, Smiley!”

But Smiley is definitely dead. (The whole bit with the apples was kind of confusing but I think I’ve worked it out... Smiley must have eaten an animal DF to become the sentient gas blob he was. This explains why the shot kept panning to apples in a sack. Then, when Smiley died, one of them turned into a Devil Fruit. Smiley had given it up when he died.)

R.I.P, Smiley.

And welcome Shinokuni, the Land of Death: the latest and greatest weapon of mass destruction!

Caesar definitely must’ve fallen out the psycho tree and hit every branch on the way down when he was a kid, because, man, that guy was *way* too excited to watch his fodder goons come croppers to Shinokuni. 

“Yes! It worked! No one can get away this time. The problem last time was survivors. They could still run even after being poisoned. This gas clings to their skin like ash, enters through the kind and paralyses the whole body! Yes, give us a good glimpse of hell!”

Now, I don’t know if any of you guys have ever watched a movie called Event Horizon, but there’s this messed up scene when the rescue crew discover the ship’s log of the crew who disappeared on a spaceship seven years before. The log is... yeah... it’s messed up. It’s like a glimpse of hell. (Don’t google it if you hate horror movies.)

(Something tells me Caesar would have been totally okay on the Event Horizon. Knowing him, it probably would have been his fault. He’d be in a room, absolutely fine, while literal hell is breaking loose outside on deck. xD)

That Moment When Everyone Really Hopes It’s Usopp

While Caesar is sacrificing pets to achieve an upgraded pet, the rest of the Strawhats were still outside while the Purple Mountain of Oh Shit What Is That? was thundering down the mountain and over the island. 

Zoro, Sanji, Brook and Foxfire had a front row seat! They were smart and ran sideways. This bought them a bit of time while Caesar’s minions were Pompeii’d. 

And that running scene was golden, by the way. I’m disappointed I limited myself to one screenshot of it. Loved it when Sanji tried to figure out what was going on and Foxfire yelled, “Shut up and run!”

Zoro was generally impressed by the all-round quality of running on show, but suggested if the assembled could run faster than the wind, that’d be great. Luckily, they caught up with a sled-pulling dragon (that Caesar deliberately set free so his minions would be stranded). I’m guessing the dragon will head home and that will be how Zoro and the others end up back in Caesar’s lab.

Nami and Usopp also managed to hitch a ride before the Purple Gas Cloud of Doom hit their patch of the mountain. Brownbeard hauled himself out from under a huge metal pipe. He gained the strength to do this from sheer hatred of Caesar Clown (lol). Brownbeard wants to save his crew from Caesar, which is kind of nice. He’s a good guy after all. Usopp suggested they join forces because they wanted to save the experiment kids from Caesar.

Brownbeard knows where the lab is and probably knows most of the entrances. He’ll smuggle Nami and Usopp inside no bother, I’ll bet.

Caesar’s Need To Show Off Will Be His Undoing

While most of the free Strawhats were hauling ass away from the Purple Cloud That Is No Longer Smiley (I’m still weirdly bitter about Smiley), Luffy, caged in the lab watched as Zoro and the others ran faster than the wind. Once Luffy established that, hey, the Samurai Guy getting his legs back was not a top priority right now, (lol, Robin!) he tried to shout advice to Zoro.

Unfortunately, Luffy, you can’t shout through a video feed. But Caesar hear him and floated over to gloat. “Are they your friends, Strawhat? Unsurprising. They’re strong. But soon they’ll run out of breath and be poisoned. And eventually, there will be only an uninhabitable land of death. No one outside this lab will survive. And neither will any of you! Now, prove it to the world! Before this weapon of mass destruction, a pirate with a 400 million bounty, a Vice-Admiral and even a Shichibukai are totally helpless against a tide of death.”

A lever was pulled.

And I think Caesar made his big mistake: letting the Strawhats out of his sight.

Law (I think it was him) chucked a rolled up message to Chopper, who fretted in the shadows about what to do. “Don’t do anything.”

This Face Does Not Bode Well for Caesar

Because now the Strawhats are out of Caesar’s line of sight, they can talk tactics, regroup and launch their fight back.

Can’t help but think if Caesar had not insisted on using the Strawhats as an example, he could have disposed of them quietly in the lab, or used them as test subjects forever. Of course, that would have been - bam! - end of manga. And we cannot have that.

Three cheers for Caesar’s need to show off! His arrogance and ego have prolonged the plot!

Thank you, Caesar, for that one dumb thing you did. xD

Chopper saw what you did that one time and is judging you.

[aurora-the-kunoichi]

Here is the third installment for a short story I’m writing for my friend @blossom-skies​ about her OC Jen. I hope you like it. 

Meeting Ms. Jones

Part 3

It had been several weeks since Casey and his four mutant turtle friends had liberated Jen from Dr. Stockman’s lab. The ride back to their lair had been an interesting one. Finding out not only had her body transformed because of the strange purple ooze but she had some weird ability to blend into whatever background she was standing in front of. Donatello the tall purple genius of the four brothers figured her mutation was part chameleon due to the color changing platelets of her new skin. This would definitely take some getting use too.

Jen sat in the back of the lair in the makeshift room the turtles had to graciously set up for her. Due to her new look, going back to her apartment wouldn’t be prudent, her elderly neighbor Mrs. Larson wouldn’t fair well with her change.

Under the cover of night, the guys and Jen had stopped at her apartment to grab a few things for her while she waited for Don’s genius to set her back to normal. Along with some creature comforts her laptop was brought back. Due to the flexibility of her job as a Graphic Designer Jen was able to continue her work from the seclusion of the lair deep within the depths of the New York City’s sewers. She hoped this form wouldn’t be permanent so keeping her life on the surface alive along with her home was important.

Finishing her most recent job Jen closed her laptop and rubbed the fresh bandage on the crook of her arm. She had lost count of how many vials of blood the tall purple genius had taken. In the end she knew he needed every drop to analysis the mutagen in her blood in hopes to find a way to reverse its effects. From the little time she had spent with the four turtles, if anyone would figure this out it would be Donatello. His brilliant mind was one of kind.

With a deep sign she leaned back on her bed drumming mindlessly on the top of her laptop with her newly acquired three fingered hands. She was bored and needed a distraction. Pushing the computer from her lap she swung her legs over the bed and stood. Her clock made her blissfully aware that the four brothers would be in the dojo training with their father who happened to be their sensei and a giant rat. That was a shock to the system itself.

With her long tail swishing behind her Jen made her way to the dojo, the anticipation sending her blood pumping faster through her veins. The thought of one of the brothers in particular made the stay down in the sewers not so unpleasant. She had felt an instant connection with the turtle almost immediately when they pulled her from that god forsaken lab.

Entering through the large opening of the spacious dojo she watched all four turtles collide in what seemed to be an exuberant display of strength.On the far end of the room Master Splinter watched his four sons battle for dominance while his long furry fingers stroked his thin beard.Catching the new spectator in his peripheral vision the old rat smiled giving her a quick nob acknowledging her presence. Returning the nod Jen returned her gaze back to the four hard bodies in the middle of the room. Each one had a thin sheen of sweat covering their bodies and the taught muscle that lay beneath their green pebbled skin shifted effortlessly with each move of their extremities, extenuating the power that lay in their well-trained bodies. Then time seemed to slow down just for a bit when she caught his blue eyes staring at her as his agile body flipped over his three younger brothers. Leo, the leader of the four turtles was looking at her and if she wasn’t mistaken, he was giving her a wicked smile. When he landed his muscular leg kicked out sending Raphael sailing forward slamming plastron down onto the dojo floor. When Mikey and Donnie became aware their leader loomed behind them they spun around quickly preparing for his next attack. Before the leader in blue could take his other two brothers down a loud roar came from ahead and Raphael’s body shot like a missile connecting with Leo’s plastron. The red projectile sent him and Leo rolling backwards engaged in a new match.

Jumping out of the way Mikey and Donnie made their way over to Jen. Mikey’s arm slide around her shoulders pulling her to him. “See anything you like? Maybe you wanna wrestle too?” he cooed playfully drumming his three fingers on her shoulder.

“I don’t think you could handle all of this Mikey?” Jen laughed snaking her tail up the back of his shell finding his chuncky gold necklace pulling from his neck.

“We’ll never know if you don’t let me try?” his large hand reached up grabbing her stolen jewelry from the offending appendage.

“Leave her alone Mikey.” A deep distant voice called from the other side of the room.

All three turned to see Leonardo helping Raph from the floor brushing some fresh blood from his left nostril with the back of his hand. Jen felt like her feet were bolted to ground when his eyes found hers. Leonardo’s walk was predatory, like a tiger stalking its prey, and she felt like she was about to be eaten whole from the look on his face.

“Ahh lighten up Leo, I was just having some fun.”

“Mikey, she doesn’t have any sort of training you could hurt her.” Leo scolded his youngest brother.

Jen frowned at Leo’s assumption she would be easily taken down.  Turning out of Mikey grasp Jen pushed Leo’s broad shoulder forcefully, “Hey, I might not have any ninja training but that doesn’t mean I’m helpless. It took that Rhino man and warthog guy at least 20 minutes to take me down. I think that’s pretty good. Besides I helped you and big red out, back at the lab after that explosion. I don’t know what came over me but I felt like I had the strength of 10 men.”

Leo remembered that night vividly, coming too he had watched her rip through those guards like warm butter. Her slender, but nimble tail wrapping around them with expert precision like she had been doing it her entire life. It was impressive to say the least how fast she adapted.  It was beyond erotic to the leader and he had found it difficult to forget. Actually he had found it difficult to concentrate with her living in the lair. Several times he had caught himself heading towards her room not even with a certain purpose in mind. He had to remind himself she was Casey’s sister and a victim in all of this. She was here for their help and all he wanted to do was be near her. Leo chastised himself thinking of her in that way but Jen was beautiful in this new form.

Casey had shown them a picture of her pre-ooze before they left to save her, just in case any of them came in contact with her first. She was an attractive human woman before but her mutant form was a whole different story. His body reacted on its own accord, aching in places that had to be relieved in the privacy of his own room. Even just now seeing her watch them as they trained gave Leo an adrenaline rush. The usual stoic leader didn’t like to show off when he trained but the hormones that controlled his young fertile body called for a show when she was around.

He had been looking for a reason to be close to her without rousing suspicion so maybe a little demonstration of her new abilities would be convenient. Looking back at Donnie who was eyeing his eldest brother warily Leo gave him a sly smile.

“Maybe you’d like to show me what you can do?” Leo started winking at his genius brother.

Donnie thought about it for a moment and agreed. He had been so busy analyzing her blood and the ooze that mutated her he had completely forgotten about the end result. He remembered Raph talking about her going nuts on the guards helping him and Leo out as they escaped. He had only witnessed her ability to blend in on the ride home when she touched Leo’s plastron. “Yes that could be interesting, Jen would you be willing to maybe try and reproduce your strength again? I heard it was quite ‘awe inspiring’.”

Jen blushed at Donnie’s words and the thought of being in close contact with Leonardo. He might not get the reaction he was hoping for, but who was she to turn down a simple request from her hosts. “Alright Leo, if you’re in such a hurry for an ass kicking you should have just said so.” Jen tried to play off cocky but inside she was on fire with anticipation. Moving to the center of the dojo she turned to watch Leo approach her, his hips swaying seductively with each foot fall. He was going to be the death of her.

Donnie, Raph and Mikey sat down on the side lines and prepared for the show to come. Their eyes trained in on the old rat coming up from his spot in the back of the dojo eyeing the two mutants circling in the center. They thought he would stop them but funny enough he took up a stop next to Mikey intent on seeing what Jen could do.

“I’ll go easy on you.” Leo smiled crouching down his hands out reached to grab any part of her that deemed appropriate. “But I’m going push you too. I want see that wild side again.”

Jen swallowed attempting to moisten the dessert that was hidden in her mouth. She couldn’t help but watch his chest plates move with each breath and his pink tongue darting out to moisten his lips. She could have sworn he was flexing the dense muscles in his arms and well defined legs too. Was he doing this to distract her? Cause it was fucking working. “Stop staring and concentrate you idiot.” She scolded herself. Everyone was watching. Digging deep she remembered everything her brother had taught her, every jab every upper cut and she focused in on that. Leo began to bob and weave as if he was taunting her getting her riled up but it wouldn’t work. If Leo wanted to see what she could do then so be it.

Tensing her muscles and pulled that feeling back in the lab, the worry, the over protectiveness of the turtles, the horror of seeing them writhing in pain. She could start to feel the rage rising up in her belly, her arms and legs starting to feel weightless. Out of the corner of her eye she could see his three brothers getting excited with the prospect of someone kicking their fearless leader’s shell. The enthusiasm in their eyes was palpable. She fed off of it and screamed rushing the blue banded turtle.

Leo was ready, he could take her, she had no training, so it would be easy. But when he saw the color of her skin fluctuate and her fists clench, his stomach dropped. With an ear piercing scream she rushed him at a neck break speed. She had moved so fast he barely had enough time to evade a blow from her fist making him stumble back in shock. Again she came at him but with more ferocity swinging her leg up clipping him on the side of his head. The blow came harder than he had expected, in fact it felt like Raph had hit him. Her strength was definitely heightened.

As the experiment continued Jen took a few hits from Leo but nowhere near the amount she had doled out to their leader. He was panting from exhaustion as she rained another round of blows to his plastron and he stumbled backwards tripping on his own feet. Landing hard on his shell she lunged forward claiming his lap in victory.  

With her forearm pressed firmly into the flesh of his neck she stared down into Leo’s mesmerizing blue eyes getting caught up in them for a few seconds. The hot air that shot from between his clenched teeth passed over her face as he tried to catch his breath. Being so close Jen took in the scent of him, mint tea and blade oil, it was intoxicating. She too tried to calm herself, her body felt amazing pulsating with a power she had never felt before.

If she didn’t know any better Jen could have sworn she felt a stirring of something in his pants just below her core as she straddled his strong hips. Was he getting aroused by this, by her? Unhurriedly she lowered her upper body bringing her lips just a few inches from his. “Was that a good enough demonstration of my abilities?”

Leo nodded slowly licking his lips again still unable to form any words. He could feel her tail wrapped around his thigh just a few feet from his cock, which was starting to react to her closeness.  Was she doing that on purpose? Just a few more inches and their lips would meet. He pushed the feeling to sate that urge down quickly looking over to his stunned brothers and sensei. Their mouths hung open, eyes wide in shock, that was some demonstration.

Then a burst of energy erupted in the dojo when his three brothers leapt to their feet in a congratulatory howl of praise.

Slowly Jen leaned back giving Leo some space, which surprisingly left him feeling a little disappointed in the loss of their closeness. He felt his breath hitch when her tail slowly unwound itself from his thigh leaving it cold. Her eyes never left his and he could see the fire in them, he wasn’t the only one feeling this way. The heat radiating from the apex of her thighs wouldn’t soon be forgotten either. He groaned softly when her palms pressed into his plastron pushing herself up and off of him hovering over the muscled turtle for a few agonizingly long moments. He wanted nothing more to reach up and bring her back down pinning her below his weight but he resisted. This was not the time or place for such carnal acts. Rising slowly he bowed as he was taught when he was bested in training. Blushing she followed suit.

“God, I’d like to see that over and over again.” Raph laughed coming up behind Jen lifting her gently into the air.

“I think all of us would, minus Leonardo of course.” Everyone shot Master a Splinter at stunned look at the cheeky comment and burst out laughing. Rarely did the old rat joke, but when he did it was worth the wait.

Donnie broke through the laughter and nudged Jen’s arm. “Hey let’s get you to my lab, I wanna take a little more blood after that spike in your strength.”

Jen moaned letting her head fall back but followed the genius to his lab none the less. She wondered if she’d have any blood left after all this.

As they watched Don and Jen leave Raph helped Leo up from the floor. “The sexual tension, Jesus man that could have been cut with a knife. Leo pushed his hot head brother away and ignored the comment exiting the dojo himself.  

That night Jen had trouble sleeping, a certain blue-eyed terrapin kept her mind racing to inappropriate thoughts. Tossing and turning in her bed she finally gave up and headed towards the TV hoping to find a little distraction there. Slumping down in the old warn couch Jen turned on the TV lowering volume not wanting to wake anyone else in the lair. Flipping through the channels mindlessly she was unaware of the set of blue eyes watching her from the kitchen. Settling on an old movie she set the remote on the couch and began to lose herself in the TV.

Leo had gotten up to grab a glass of water when he noticed Jen slip onto the couch.  Truth was he couldn’t sleep, the thought of her straddling him kept his mind reeling and his imagination on over drive. His skin still burned where her tail and coiled around his thigh. If they didn’t have an audience, he might have been bold enough to kiss her. He had wanted too since the first day they met. Taking a long pull of the cool liquid a smile spread over his lips. This would be the first time they were alone, so he took advantage heading towards her.

Jen nearly jumped out of her skin when Leonardo hopped over the couch settling in right next to her.

“Jesus Christ!” She yelped as quietly as she could. “You god damn ninjas! I didn’t even know anyone else was up.”

“Sorry, it comes naturally now.” He said matter-of-factly taking another drink of his water. “What are we watching?”

“Um, not sure just a movie I’ve never seen before. The rest are infomercials.”

“Can’t sleep?” Leo never took his eyes from the screen offering up his glass of water to her.

Jen waved her hand declining his offer and shifted on the couch to face the tall turtle. “Looks like I’m not the only one.”

“I was thirsty.”

Jen’s eyes narrowed in on Leo’s face watching his nostrils flare as he scented the air. She could see him shift uncomfortably under her gaze then her eyes lowered to the pair of shorts that covered his lower half, there was a slight bulge. What was he smelling, taking his cue Jen too scented the air and was shocked to find his heady aroma filling her senses. Why had she not tried this before? She was now part animal and she could tell if the opposite sex was aroused.  “Liar.” She called him out while her tail moved slowly to his bare feet. Encircling one of his feet the tip wound higher reaching his calf. Now she could hear his breathing catch. Leo was definitely aroused; his alluring musk was getting stronger now. Good she wasn’t the only one. Jen swallowed her nerves and decided to keep going.

“You couldn’t sleep either, could you?” she husked shifting to sit on her knee facing Leo who was still trying his best to concentrate on the movie. The tip of her tail moved to the underside on his knee brushing the sensitive flesh. She felt him tense a bit hearing a soft hum move passed his lips.

Then he spoke, “No, I couldn’t.”

“Why?” she questioned again leaning a bit closer.

Finally ripping his blue orbs from the TV screen, he met her hers, a challenge rising in his stare. “You know why.” His hips flexed on their own bringing her gaze back down to his tented shorts.

Jen could feel the heat pool between her thighs and decided she wanted to make the next move. Taking the glass from Leo’s hand she downed the rest of the liquid and set the glass behind her on the couch. She had never been this bold in her entire life but there was always a first for everything.

Moving quickly Jen stretched over him lowing her backend down on his lap making sure her tail stayed out of the way. Locking eyes with him they both moaned when their covered groins met. Leo’s hands reacted swiftly latching onto her hips pressing his semi erect member up against the warmth of her core. Even though fabric separated them the sensation was thrilling. Jen closed her eyes enjoying the connection and leaned forward cupping his green cheeks slanting her mouth over his taking an impatient kiss from the leader.

Moaning up into her mouth as her tongue swept into the heat of his mouth tasting him, Leo ground up into her again. Subsequently it made the blood rush further to his throbbing flesh filling it to the brink of agony. A deep rumble rolled up from his belly exciting Leo further deepening the already frantic kiss. The little sounds escaping her sweet mouth was almost his undoing but when his ninja senses kicked in he rolled them down on the couch pressing her down into the cushions with his immense weight. Reluctantly breaking the searing kiss Leo looked down at her flushed face giving her a brilliant smile.

Before she could protest the end to their kiss Jen heard someone walking to the kitchen.

“Who left the TV on?” Donnie’s familiar voice filled the room. She heard his move towards them and Leo shot up from the couch leaning up against the back keeping Jen secured beneath him.

“Oh hey Leo, what are you doing up so late?” the purple banded turtle sounded suspicious taking another step towards the couch.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Leo mused grinding himself down into Jen again.

Covering her mouth with her hand to quell the moan he had enticed from her Jen pinched his bare green skin of his thigh with her other.

“Ahh ok, just make sure to turn the TV off before you go to bed Leo, Mikey leaves it on all the time. Good night.” Donnie began to shuffle off back to bed. “Good night Jen.” He added quickly with a laugh.

“Night Donnie.” Jen called from under Leo.

When Donnie had disappeared back into his lab Leo pushed off the back of the couch and hovered over Jen once again his blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

Jen smiled seeing Leo so playful, the leader of the four brothers was usually calm and collected but he was so animated right now staring down at her. It made her feel so alive. Maybe it was from his intense smile or the sheer weight of the mutant on top of her, but she found it hard to breath.

Leo looked down on her for a few more seconds before pulling back to remove his weight from her completely. “We better get to bed. We’ll continue this at a later date.” Leo reached out and pulled Jen to her feet and turned off the TV.

Escorting Jen back to her makeshift room Leo gave her one last deep kiss before heading back to bed himself, leaving her alone with her rampant thoughts.

Flopping down in the bed Jen let out a heavy sigh, if it wasn’t for Donnie’s interruption she was fairly certain Leo would be filling her completely right now. Closing her eyes, she remembered the hard flesh pulsating between her legs; thick, hot and big.

“Damnit Donnie.”

The next morning as she pulled on her boots Donnie knocked on her door. “Hey, can I talk to you in my lab for a minute?”

Feeling suddenly nervous Jen nodded and followed the tall terrapin into his lap. As she entered through the doors she found his three brothers gathered in his lab as well. Leo was leaning up against a support beam and gave her a sly smile before returning his attention back to his genius brother. Up on Donnie’s screens looked like blood cells and large purple dots surrounding it.

Donnie pointed to the screen and sighed in frustration. “I think I figured it out.”

Jen’s eyes widened in surprise, “What? Are you serious Don? That’s amazing!” she wanted to run to the tall turtle and kiss him and that big beautiful brain, but he wasn’t happy, in fact a frown was set firmly across his lips. “Then why do you look so upset?”

“That’s because for it to work I need an pure untainted sample of the ooze to reverse it’s effects and the only way to do that is going back to Stockman’s lab.”

Jen watched a quick flare of disappointment wash over Leo’s face and then it was gone as his arms crossed over his chest. She could see the fearless leader facade go up and he addressed his brothers. “Are you sure Donnie? We almost didn’t get out of there last time.” The worry was apparent in his deep voice, he was nervous for their safety.    

“99% sure.”

Then she felt the tension in the room rise and looked up to all of them observing at her. Jen suddenly felt so small. This was going to be dangerous for them and that wasn’t something she was comfortable with. There had to be another way.

“No, I won’t let you guys put yourself back in that situation again for me. There must be another way Donnie? I can wait, this form isn’t so bad, I’m kind of getting used to it.” She looked sheepishly over at the handsome blue leader feeling her cheeks flush with the rise of her heart rate. Then a sudden terrible thought crossed her mind. Would Leo find her attractive if she went back to normal? She remembered the kiss, the touch of his hands, the simple feel of him against her. That was something she wanted to experience again, plus more.  

Leo’s attitude shifted from light hearted to stern taking one final look over at Jen. His jaw worked side to side taking account of each of his brothers who were staring at him waiting for his answer. “Ok Donnie if you’re sure we’ll go get it. We promised your brother we’d help you Jen and that is what we’re going to do. We’ll leave tonight when the sun has set.” Leo said decisively pushing past his brothers and Jen leaving Donnie’s lab all together. With Leo being the leader, his word was final, and his brothers didn’t dare question it. It was going to happen tonight whether she was comfortable with it or not. And if anything happened to them because of her she would never forgive herself.  

The day moved by fast with little contact with the four brothers. They were walled up in Donnie’s lab most of the day making plans for tonight. The door was locked keeping her from them and she hated it.

As the time wound down she felt a knot form in her stomach and when the door of Donnie’s lab finally opened all four turtles filed out weapons strapped to their shells. It was time. All but Leo moved to the large garbage truck in the back getting inside.

Leo eyed her warily like he was making a split decision, his blue eyes were troubled but when he moved forward with conviction she knew what was going to happen next. In anticipation Jen stepped backwards to the wall resting her back against it when Leo’s weight hit her. He leaned down taking a heated kiss urging her mouth open with his tongue.

It was quick, but the kiss packed a wallop, breathless and light-headed Jen barely registered Leo’s retreating form as he crawled into the truck with his brothers. And then they were gone, leaving Jen alone and helpless to do nothing but sit and wait for their return.

Minutes turned into hours and hours bled into morning. It had been too long, they should have been home by now. Something was wrong.

Part Two

[lykaonimagines]

Positive (Part 7) - Loki x Reader

Sorry for the longer wait on this one guys, super long week with things going wrong >.> Finally was able to just sit down and write it. I also did a few edits for this part that I thought would be fun, and will be at the bottom of the story! 

Hope you all enjoy, and let me know if you want to be tagged :)

Paring: Loki x Reader

Part #: 7

Word Count: 2,022

Description: A mutant member of the Avengers finds out she’s pregnant with her boyfriend Loki’s baby, are they ready for this?

Warnings: Pregnancy, jealousy 

Part 1      Part 2     Part 3     Part 4    Part 5    

Part 6      Part 7     Part 8     Masterlist

(Gif doesn’t belong to me)

As Loki finds himself on the New York streets again, his steps feel lighter than he can remember in a long time. Finding the bench he previously occupied a few months prior when he felt the weight of the universe on his shoulders, he takes a moment to sit and take it all in.

His love, the most spectacular woman in the nine realms, he has no doubt, is his. She’s alive, and well, and everything he never knew he needed. “If only mother had been able to meet you,” he says softly as he scrolls through their walls of texts. Ever the affectionate one, she reminded him regularly exactly what he meant to her, something he appreciated more than he could ever begin to explain.

Then their daughter. His daughter. He somehow had something to do with that little wiggling being they saw on the screen. How he’d been given the chance after all he’s done to bring a child into existence, he didn’t know. How two people with some of the worst experiences involving parenting, were now being given this innocent being to care for and do right in a way they weren’t.

As much as he didn’t like to admit it, the Avengers themselves were a part of this new life he was falling in love with. Through Y/N and their coming daughter, he’d been spending more time with the other Avengers, and coming to actually enjoy the presence of his new found family. They’d accepted him in after everything he’d done, even if there were still plenty of comments made. They were still all a bit… much for him at times. But the way they care for Y/N and their child, is worth any of that.

Then Thor. The ever present shadow he felt he was always in. Thor’s brother. Always was just Thor’s brother. Finding out he wasn’t even the shadow role he’d been stuck in had hurt him more than he could ever have expected. Though he still loved Thor as a brother, and the last year in the tower had been good for them. He finally felt he could stand beside Thor as a brother, and not just a shadow.

Which led to the last thing. Acceptance. Discovering himself. Knowing himself and who he is. All of them together had combined to contribute to that. But he awards that mainly to his daughter. Trying to step up and actively be a the man she deserves as a father, that she can be proud of, and that she can depend on.

There was just one last problem. Loki smirks to himself as he scrolls through his phone photos of Y/N and he. Countless selfies she’d taken of them fill up his gallery, with random photos of himself with captions she’d left. “Just one last piece.”

Not quite sure where to begin, he finds himself drifting toward the familiar book store once again. Spotting the worker from his previous visit, he quickly walks over, “Could you direct me to the books on crafting jewelry?”

(From Loki’s phone)

-

Collapsing down into the office chair of his newly rented hotel room, Loki sorts through the things he’s bought, books on the history of ring designs, crafting jewelry, midgardian customs, several sketch pads, and some pencils. “This is going to be nearly impossible to hide,” he groans to himself looking around the room.

He sighs and finally sets himself to work flipping through the books, and sketching out bits and pieces he likes as time goes by.

-

Y/N comes out of their shared room, Loki’s sweatshirt over her and their bed sheets cocooned around her body. Everything ached and she was so damn cold.

Stephen had let her return to the dormitory floors under the promise she’d go straight to bed. Which she did. For a little while.

Walking out to the living room she finds Bucky alone watching movie on the couch.

“Buck,” she whines pulling the covers around herself tighter.

He jumps, having been so entranced in the show and his eyes darting to her, “Y/N! You’re supposed to be in bed! You can’t be up walking around with fresh stitches.”

“Have you seen Loki?” She asks looking out the window, the sky starting to darken. “He left at like 10:30 this morning and he’s still not come back to the room.”

“Haven’t seen him,” Bucky replies finally pausing his movie. “I don’t think he came back yet.”

She frowns and then sighs loudly looking at her friend with pleading eyes, “Bucky, I’m sooooo cold.”

“Then get back in bed,” he responds with a grin.

“It’s not helping,” she whines back at him, trying to make herself look as sad as possible. “This girl is half ice giant Buck, she’s freezing me from the inside out.”

His eyes widen in realization as he pats the seat next to him, “Didn’t think of that Y/N, here come watch the movie with me.”

She quickly crawls onto the couch, and snuggles into her friend’s warmth with a content sigh, “So warm.”

He rolls his eyes and puts an arm around her before starting the movie back up as they sit in comfortable silence.

“Is this really old Zorro?” She mumbles, her mind starting to get fuzzy with sleep.

“Yeah,” he responds rubbing her shoulder. “One of my favorites from back before I enlisted.”

“Hm,” she nods. “So what did you do for fun in the 1940s then beyond Zorro, Grandpa?”

He smirks down, “Oh the usual. Camping, some woodworking occasionally, and taking out the dames to the local dances.”

“Scandalous man you are Bucky,” she chuckles. “And how was Steve with these dames?”

Bucky throws his head back with a laugh, “Oh just the complete and utter ladies man he is to this day Y/N. You know our Steve, the regular heart breaker.”

“Those poor girls, never knew what they were in for,” she clicks her tongue. “Steve the Casanova he is.”

“So how are you feeling?” He asks suddenly.

“A lot warmer,” she replies happily. “You exude manly heat.”

-

“You exude manly heat.” Loki hears as he enters the kitchen behind the living room. His chest tightening as he hears Y/N’s familiar laugh tangled with one of the male Avenger coming from the next room.

“I aim to please miss.”

He slams the bag of food in his hands on the counter, the bang causing the pair to go silent.

“Bruce don’t Hulk out in the kitchen!” Y/N yells over, followed by more laughter.

Steeling his face, Loki presses on into the living room where he finds Y/N curled up into Bucky, his arm around her. “Wrong Avenger,” he responds with a tense smile. “So what exactly is going on here?”

“Loki!” Y/N yells, her eyes lighting up. “The long lost prince has finally returned.”

Bucky makes a gagging noise as he lifts his arm from around her shoulders, acknowledging the slightly menacing gaze he’s getting from Loki.

“As I said I would,” he responds, his eyes still flickering between her and the other man. “What have you two been up to? And why aren’t you in bed?”

“I was so damn cold,” Y/N states, “That frost giant DNA is freezing me from the inside I swear. I came out here looking for you, but someone has been gone all day. So I’m using Bucky for his warmth and watching his old man movie.”

His eyes widen immediately, “How cold? Is it burning? Are you in pain?”

“No no no,” she says holding a hand up to stop him, “Just feel’s like I’m unprepared for the cold weather I’ve walked out into. Nothing serious.”

Loki nods and continues to look at her, his chest still tight from her words. “I’m sorry I can’t be the one to help with that,” he says stiffly.

“Your sweatshirt helps,” she grins lifting the sheets from around her body.

He forces a small smile, “I’m guessing you won’t be wanting that ice cream then. Luckily I brought some warm food as well if you haven’t eaten. Which you haven’t I’m assuming?”

Her face turns slightly red, “Yeah… I haven’t thought about it.”

He sighs and holds his hands out to help lift her from the couch, “You get in bed, I will bring the food.”

“Sounds good prince charming,” she says with a wink, and stretches up to kiss his cheek.

After Y/N has made it back to their room, Loki’s gaze immediately goes back to Bucky.

“I was comforting my cold pregnant friend, prince charming,” he says turning his movie back on. “Don’t get bent out of shape.”

Loki scowls at him, “I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t curl up romantically with my girlfriend on the couch.”

Bucky smirks back at him rolling his eyes, “Romantically? Someone worried?”

“No!” Loki yells back crossing his arms. “I’d just appreciate you keeping your hands off my girlfriend Buchanan before I have to do something about it.”

Bucky leans back against the couch unfazed, “If you couldn’t tell that was merely friendly comfort and you are that unconfident in your relationship, you have worse things to worry about.”

“I just almost fucking lost her for Odin’s sake,” Loki snaps. “Of course I am fucking worried mortal. I trust her. But I just almost lost her. I… I don’t need to explain this to you.”

The other man’s expression softens as he pulls himself up from the couch, and walking over to him putting a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “You should be more open like that, it makes you a lot more likable. But understand this, she’s a good friend and I was just comforting her. Even if I was interested, she’s very obviously in love. Don’t  strain that with jealousy.” He turns the tv off before leaving to go back to his own room, leaving Loki standing in the middle of the room processing everything.

Finally he moves from his spot to take care of the ice cream and grab the dinner he’d brought them back to their bedroom. Setting the food out on the table in their room, he feels her arms snake around his waist.

“So…” she says softly laying a cheek against his back.

“You probably shouldn’t do that,” he responds with a sigh, trying to shrug out of her embrace. “You’re going to make yourself colder.”

However, she clings onto him tighter, “Worth it.”

The tightening in chest starts to relax at her words, “Really now?”

“I missed you,” she responds, kissing his back. “I’ve been thinking about our little girl.”

“Me too,” he says as he twists in her grip so he’s facing her. “I’m going to have two exquisite girls in my life, I’m a very lucky undeserving man.”

She smiles up at him, “No, you’re a strong, intelligent, sensitive, passionate, and loving man that’s gone through a lot to be the man I wake up next to every morning.”

His eyes start to prickle at her words, all tension leaving his body as he stares into her eyes, “Y/N…”

“So I might not be able to have that ice cream right now,” she states smirking up at him. “But I believe I have one other request owed to me. And I plan on collecting it.”

“Oh Is that right?” He asks, his lips coming near her own, able to feel his cool breath on her face. “Remind me, what is that?”

“I believe, your highness, that you owe me a kiss,” she whispers back.

“I couldn’t refuse you now could I?” He asks before pressing their lips together. The sweet simple kiss growing more passionate as his tongue slips into her mouth. She groans into his mouth, pulling him flush with her own body, her knees starting to go a little weak when he breaks the kiss.

She gasps for air as she stares up at the god in her arms. “Satisfactory darling?”

“Very much so. But I have a question,” she replies.

“Hm?” He responds stroking her back.

“Where have you been all day?”

Uh oh.

----------------------------

Y/N’s snaps of her life with Loki & the team

Part 1      Part 2    Part 3    Part 4   Part 5    

Part 6      Part 8    Masterlist

Tag List: Sorry if some didn’t tag properly, some were giving me issues :$ And hopefully I didn’t forget anyone. Thank you all of you for following this ❤️

@ihavenofilter @zombiefied-gay-ghost @talinalani @chloe-skywalker @shanetoo @shitty-imagines-95 @roryomxlley @afangirlamongotherthings @servamp-addict @moonfaery @thefallenbibliophilequote @arielletheavenger @lucacangettathisass @draconicyeet @i-love-loki-its-unhealthy @tokoyamisstuff @whennoonethinksyoucanyoumust @ximi27 @throughartistseyes @islaylivesinshire  @starfox-92 @ink-and-starlight   @markusstraya @peacefulfall @maximofos @hiddlestoner3059 @theartsypoetess @heart-shaped-hell @twiling-lady @beaisahuntress  @my–heroine  @starlight-in-the-universe @imnomundanenoramuggle @h3artshaped-box  @sarahivi @the1weliveinnow 

[rarestereocats]

recap of thursday’s session of the crusades game!

With our return to Elathera's plane,  Industria gets started on her secret projects,  urging everyone she brings into it to also keep it a secret.  First,  she needs Lucky to write down how they split their soul and figure out how to recreate it,  but doesn't elaborate on why she needs that information.  Lucky's left confused and curious,  but doesn't interrogate her as she's walking away to start her second project.  She makes her own plane,  which is a lush garden where it's always springtime.  The Garden of Indy now becomes home to the seed she obtained in Heaven and she bounces back to the material plane to kidnap,  I mean,  recruit a gardener from her Order to tend to this garden.  Elathera spends all this time reading up on night hags and learns we're in for a struggle as their kind are resistant to most magic,  which knocks our spellcasters out of this for the most part.  She finds me to go over this information and so we both get to stand around uncomfortably as we realize nothing in our lives will ever be easy again.

Also Etna is on our good buddy Pandemonius's plane and Elathera's worried that if we kill the hag,  we might anger him as well.  With Industria hopping into the conversation,  somehow we all manage to avoid the simplest plan of action and try to figure out how we can destroy that plane.  Collapsing it in on itself is one option,  skinning it of its boundaries so it merges with the ethereal plane,  and the most ridiculous one;  ram it into another, preferably empty plane.  But Elathera shoots the last option down,  stating that the Inevitables,  which are beings designed to keep balance in the universe,  will hunt us down for that.  Industria has a good point though when she says we've already garnered their attention on several occasions,  given the sort of shit we get ourselves into.

Ultimately,  we opt not to destroy an entire plane of existence right now.  After checking out the Garden of Indy,  we decide to talk with Pandemonius and he's none too pleased with us.  We don't stop by enough and every time he tries to reach out to us mentally to see what's up,  something is blocking the connection.  Given that none of us are doing that,  we find that a little concerning,  but that's a problem for another day.  After discussions of the hag,  we have his blessing to kill her and kill her we will.  We track her down to a portion of the plane that absolutely screams "I'm hiding a hag!!" because it's a creepy,  dark forest and with how tightly packed it is with trees,  we might not even notice whatever's lurking in the dark.  Which turns out to be an argumentative crow who only Industria can understand,  a bandersnatch which fucks a few of us up until I claw its eyes out,  an intelligent,  giant spider looking for a snack.  Oh,  and an drow named Tebryn who Jordeira realizes is undead,  who's been stuck here for months and doesn't seem to realize he died at some point.

He's not happy with us considering we broke into his home,  but he reluctantly agrees to help us track the crow which will lead us to the hag if we can get him a better home.  Once the crow's found and zips off to avoid being eaten by a hungry spider,  Industria takes off after it to watch as it slips into a cave far away from the rest of us.  Luckily teleport is a thing,  so we're by her side in no time and are greeted by the sight of a door within the cave.  Doors are our natural weakness and if this hag had opted to throw a riddle in there at some point,  we would've been truly fucked.  I suggest Industria go ahead with her plan to talk to the hag to provide the rest of us with a distraction so we could slip into Etna's home undetected.  It sounds like a solid plan,  but Industria shits the bed several times,  but by some act of divine intervene (probably);  the hag lets us all inside.  Bad move on her part because we immediately spring into action,  but she's confident she can pull through seeing as how she has literal nightmares on her side.

Such charming nightmares such as a giant,  severed snake head with eight more snakes writhing around from its wound and a towering,  black knight with blades for hands.  But hey,  two can play at the summoning game and I throw down a purple summoning salt,  confident that whatever comes out is gonna aid us greatly.  Instead,  we're gifted a giant jellyfish that begins flopping around the battlefield because hey,  it's not made to be on land and I'm beyond embarrassed by this mishap.  So I throw down my blue salt instead and out comes a marid,  which is glad to help us provided I help it with something after.  I don't have time to think this through,  so I willingly agree and ask it to help my jellyfish before Industria kindly (and by kindly,  I mean not so kindly) reminds me we have a hag to deal with.  So I direct the marid to dear Etna and tell him to take her ass out.  Meanwhile,  Industria decides to cast miracle on the jellyfish to allow it to breathe air and float,  but this thing is terrified and has no idea what's happening and proceeds to attack everybody.

Thankfully,  Elathera stops time to allow Industria to tame the jellyfish and when she does,  Elathera starts to buff this thing up with magic.  When time resumes,  I'm treated to the sight of a roided up jellyfish that Industria's riding and with that,  our previous worries of Etna getting the best of us is stomped out.  I'm sure the hag's absolutely baffled with the current circumstances,  so I take that as a chance to strike and finish her off.  Since the marid didn't do anything,  our deal is done,  but he still wants to tell me a story and it's here we learn he used to be summoned often by Elathera's grandpa.  So before the marid leaves,  she asks him to be our tour guide when we reach the plane of water in the future and he agrees before poof!  No more genie and it's then we realize that we didn't even get his name.  We tie up the last loose end here when Industria snaps the crow's neck and feeds it to Greg the Jellyfish.

[quietpagan]

More notes upon the second viewing, Trollhunters Season 2:

 - According to Strickler’s orientation video, the Pale Lady created Changelings

   - “Oh! And we also have the Skullcrusher’s heir right here! Bular, would you care to give a few words to...” HE MADE BULAR ACT IN THE ORIENTATION VIDEO!

- If Usurna was working for Gunmar, why did she dump the pieces of Killahead Bridge into the ocean? Without the Bridge, Gunmar could not return, which was her goal???

- Otto if you are a polymorph and can change your appearance at will, whyyyy do you stick with the creepiest form you can find??? YO HE WAS THE DUDE SPRAYPAINTING IN THE ALLEY!

- Otto has one of Dictatious’s very distinct-looking books. Should have been your first clue, Blinky.

- the Gumm-Gumm mourning the giant snake monster Jim killed, like...

- The Peer Gynt music by Edvard Grieg opened February 24, 1876, so if Nomura was a young girl at that time she’s over 140 years old. Also the wiki says her first name is Zelda. It’s either Yiddish or German. Zelda. Lord.

- Kanjigar is SHADY AS FUCK GUYS! “Trust in yourselves. And me!” I know they’re out of time and he doesn’t have time to be polite, but being deliberately vague and unhelpful is a real dick move.

- y’all Blinky and Dicky are the same size, have the exact same tattoos...I’m not certain that they’re not twins.  I know it’s easier to animate with a model you already have, but if they could add scars to Dictatious they could have changed the tattoos. The Darklands obviously physically changes anybody who is there for too long, since Dickbutt’s tatts are more angular and jagged than Blinky’s (as are AAARRRGGHH’s tattoos), but they still have them in the same places and in the same patterns. Unless Blinky admired his older bro so much that he got tatts to match, they’re twins.

- Alright so I just got off the wiki page and apparently Despicable Maxipads is the eldest brother, but the twins idea would have been SO COOL

- kay but Eclipse Sword is really pretty

- okay so they: broke a stalkling’s neck onscreen, stabbed a goblin through the hand with a pencil, stabbed Draal in the back, tore his prosthetic arm off, had Gumm-Gumms stalking through the hospital like damn velociraptors while Dr L hid in terror and prolly got eaten, 

- Toby’s intense love of The Mole Mascot Outfit is slightly disturbing. I do not need f*rries in this show. And go Darcy for being honest to Toby about taking things slow instead of leading him on and making them both uncomfortable.

- the burning-the-library scene is really nice. It’s quite but intense and highlights that there’s a lot more going on than the surface conflicts and fart jokes. 

- Blinky is pulling out all the stops on hating Stinktatious. He doesn’t hesitate, there is no love lost. As soon as he accepted Dicktit’s betrayal he immediately stopped loving his brother. As someone who finds it easy to stop caring about people and who has never met anyone else like this, this was something that I could relate to. Most people would think, “But he used to be such a good guy! Such a wonderful brother.” But his past goodness doesn’t negate or lessen his willful and gleeful betrayal, and Blinky accepts that without a single shred of remorse for what was lost.

- I’m glad they get on Jim for going into the Darklands alone but he immediately turned it around so that they felt guilty for making him feel guilty. I don’t think it was deliberate manipulation on his part, I think he’s just doing a classic Harry Potter teenage woe-fest, but I would liked to have seen him at least apologize.

- Dictatious and Gunmar come stumbling into the 21st century like a pair of blind and unsteady and crotchety old geezers, helped along by the nursing-home staff.

You see these demons in the second circle of Hell

- my headcanon that Bagdewella flirts with any and everything has finally come true. Look at that predatory smile. That is a woman who’d pretend to twist her ankle so that she could ask the dashing Trollhunter Kanjigar to carry her home. She even eyes Draal up and down.

Sorry, lady, Draal doesn’t have impure thoughts so much as thoughts for an Impure.

- Gunmar seems to gain power from gemstones (the blue gems in the DL, the Heartstone, etc) so what exactly does he need to eat humans for?? Dessert??

- AAARRRGGHH picking up the phone call from Jim about his doubles and is like NOPE, NOPE, THIS IS A BLINKY PROBLEM

- Every. Single. Move. that Trollhunter!Jim makes is accompanied by a dramatic whoosh sound. gLORYYYYYY!

AAARRRGGHH’s not the only one to have some really good moments.

- Is Eli from a younger grade and he just skipped a few? He’s tiny and has the squeakiest voice in the entire show. He’s less mature than even Steve and I’m not entirely certain he’s old enough to drive yet, because why would Steve be the one to drive Eli’s mom’s car?

- Usurna claims that trolls don’t use glasses yet Blinky has requested a pair numerous times. where is the lie.

- It’s not Barbara’s car, guys. Her car is green/teal and the car Gunmar dumped in a tree after (presumably) eating the woman who drove it was white.

- quietly concerned with the weird blue light that came out of controlled!Draal’s mouth + the light flicker, + Gunmar using his body to say ‘Your friend is gone.’

- Jimbo sounds so broken, pleading with Gunmar to release Draal from his control.

- Gunmar’s ‘I want to kill the Trollhunter with my own hands’ is the worst thing a villain can do. He literally has Jim down and defenseless several times, but doesn’t strike because he wants to be picky.

- “Unkar the Unfortunate?! I was hoping for Unkar the Ultimate! INCONCEIVABLE!”

- Even after Strickler’s turn of heart at the end of season 2, during Unbecoming Jim is still like yo stay away from my mom! Jim be like ‘I know you’re a CHangeling’ and Strickler immediately tries to kill him, favorite student or not. And then he wants to help?? 

- who is Nomura talking about, Mr. Stubborn and Works Alone that she knows well, hmmmmm

Ya just couldn’t pass up on making Draal die in the same pose that AAARRRGGHH died in, huh? Ya couldn’t pass on the anguished screaming, huh? 

- lowkey kinda annoyed that Jim kneeled before Merlin, even though despite the whole picking-a-fifteen-year-old-to-be-a-legendary-champion thing Merlin has yet to be an actual douchebag

I honestly think Blinky only claimed these things were rare so that he could hoard them himself.

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Of Krakens and Kissing (Sequel To Of Bullets and Big Buck Hunter)

Sam x Reader

Word Count: ~1980

Warnings: Lots of cussin’. Beginnings of some sexy stuff, but nothing smutty. 

First part is HERE. 

“Okay, so...krakens?”

“The fuck?” Sam laughs, in a not-unkind way. “I’ve never even wondered about that one. No idea.”

“Aliens?”

“Nope. Although most of the shit people think is aliens is actually caused by fairies.”

You’re pretty sure a piece of half-chewed pasta falls out of your mouth when it gapes open, but what the fuck ever, fairies are real. Little six-year-old you is so pumped right now.

“Really,” Sam says, and he’s grinning adorably into his wine glass. “But they’re dicks.”

“Okay, um, mermaids?”

“What’s up with you and sea creatures?”

“I hate the ocean!” you protest. “It’s called thalassophobia, it’s a thing, I have a recurring nightmare about being eaten by a manatee.”

“So you’re a badass cop who shot my asshole of a demon brother without blinking an eye, but you’re afraid of fish,” he says slowly, eyes twinkling. You still can’t really figure out exactly what color they are, they keep shifting in the low restaurant light, but fuck, those are nice eyes.

“Not all of us can be fearless ghostbusters, or whatever,” you shoot back.

“I wouldn’t say fearless,” he admits, and then winces, like he knows he has to fess up now. “Clowns. I’m terrified of clowns.”

You giggle so hard you snort, and that gets Sam started, and the two of you laugh for so long your stomach hurts by the time you can catch your breath. You stare at him for a second, after, in something like amazement, because it’s been so damn long since anybody made you laugh like that, and you’re having all sorts of warm tingly feelings that you don’t even know what to do with.

“Thanks for coming out with me,” he says. That half-smile could melt the heart of a frost giant. “I’m having fun.”

“Me too,” you say, and before you can think better of it, “You’re, like, the most interesting thing that’s happened to me in at least a year, so.”

He laughs, warm and genuine. “It’s nice to find somebody who I don’t have to lie to. I mean, I was having fun with you even before I told you about everything, but still. Most people would run the other way if I told them what I do for a living. And then of course the women who do know about it usually turn out to be monsters, so.” You are suddenly so curious you feel like you might combust, but he’s making a face that basically says not talking about it in big neon letters. “Anyway, it doesn’t exactly make dating easy.”

“So this is a date?” you blurt out. You have a strong urge to kick yourself.

“I mean, I hope so,” he says. His dimples are deepening as he tries to control his smile.

You manage a nod. “Yeah, this is totally a date.”

He’s fiddling with the stem of his wine glass, rolling it between those long delicate fingers, and those fucking fingers. Your brain is short-circuiting a little bit. And he’s doing this thing with his tongue, this thing he’s been doing whenever he doesn’t know what to say, where his tongue darts out and flicks over his lower lip, quick and precise, and it’s turning your insides to blistering-hot mush. You can think of so many better places for him to be putting that tongue, holy crap, and -

“You alive in there?” he’s asking, bemused.

Shit.

“Hmm?” you ask, trying to pretend you weren’t just thinking what you were totally just thinking.

“I said, do you want anything else? I think they’re trying to close the kitchen,” he says.

“I’m fine,” you say breathily. You are so not fine.

“Then...do you want to get out of here? Maybe have another drink somewhere, or-”

“We can go to my place,” you say, too eagerly, but he’s grinning just as eagerly. He nods.

Sam’s phone starts ringing, but he quickly silences it. You can see Dean’s name on the screen.

“I told him I was taking the night off,” he says. He sounds guilty.

“You don’t do that very often, huh?” you ask, and he shakes his head emphatically.

It feels like it takes forever to get the check. You’re talking, somehow managing to put together coherent words, but your mind is just running a loop of Did I put the laundry away? Holy shit we’re going to have sex. Pretty sure the kitchen is a mess, fuck. Holy shit we’re going to have sex. He wants to have sex with me. I get to have sex with that.

It’s been a while.

Your mind is still racing when you pull up to your little house, and you’re suddenly self-conscious about the dead plant that’s been sitting on the front stoop for a month. Your life feels so plain next to Sam and his adventures and his stories and his stupid beautiful face. You feel so plain. But he’s looking at you like you’re something precious and fascinating, the yellow streetlight throwing shadows over the surreal angles of his cheekbones, and you sorta forget how to breathe for a second.

It’s hard to meet his eyes, when you finally step inside. You busy yourself putting down your purse, taking off your jacket, grabbing two wine glasses out of the cupboard.

“Do you want white or red? I’m not sure what I have, I think there’s a bottle of white open, but I know you said you like red, so…” You’re babbling. Shit. “There’s whiskey, too, or I could just-”

His hand curls around your wrist, and when you turn around, he’s there, so damn close that the words die in your throat. There’s an edge under that sweet dimpled smile now, something hungry and fierce that makes your stomach do backflips. He’s moving closer, slow and careful, watching to make sure it’s okay.

Blue. His eyes look blue in this light. And then-

Holyfuckingshit it’s a good kiss. It’s the kind of kiss that makes you feel like the world is spinning, like the universe suddenly revolves around you and Sam locked together in your dingy little kitchen, you snaking your arms up to feel those broad shoulders while he tangles a huge hand in your hair, and you just melt. His mouth is hot and insistent and he’s doing perfect, devastating things with his tongue. You didn’t think kisses like this existed outside of movies.  

You almost stumble, too lightheaded to think about where your feet are, but before you can lose your balance he’s pulling you closer, pressing his entire body to yours. You can feel the muscles of his chest hard under your palms, and the strength of his arms as they curl around you, and then he crushes you against him and kisses you like he needs you, and you make a desperate little sound into his mouth.

Your back hits the kitchen counter. He’s got you trapped against it, nibbling at your neck while his thigh finds its way between your legs, and you can’t help but rock your hips forward against his. His barely-there moan might be the best thing you’ve ever heard, and then he’s grinding against you, dirty and perfect, and you can feel how hard he is and (holy shit) how big he is, and it’s like Christmas and your birthday and the best porn you’ve ever seen all wrapped together in one enormous package.

And then somebody is pounding on your front door.

What the fuck.

You make an embarrassing sort of hngh sound when Sam pulls away, but it’s gratifying to see that he looks just as wrecked as you feel. He’s even more gorgeous with his lips all swollen like that, and his chest is doing this huffy thing that makes your pulse pound in your ears.

“Sammy!” you hear from outside. “Sammy, we have a problem!”

You cross back to the door and open it. It’s Dean, of course, looking wild-eyed and impatient, with a gun in one hand.

“Seriously?” you ask, hand on your hip, and your face must look terrifying, because Dean actually flinches.

“Dean, remember that whole thing where I took the night off?” Sam says, and you catch him adjusting himself in his pants as he comes back into the living room. Unf, your brain chips in unhelpfully.

Dean’s smirking, and Sam is glaring, and you’ve never seen them look so much like brothers.

“Yeah, well, the werewolf did not take a night off, and I think I figured out who it is,” Dean says. He invites himself in, stepping right past you, and you close the door behind him, fuming.

“Here,” he says, handing Sam a handful of shiny bullets. “Load up, we gotta go.”

“Dude, I don't have my gun,” Sam snaps. “Night off, remember?”

“How did you even find him?” you ask.

“We’ve both been kidnapped a lot,” Sam says, rolling his eyes. “He has his ways.”

That sounds distinctly illegal and also super annoying, but you try to let it go.

“Nobody is going anywhere in my fucking jurisdiction until somebody tells me what the fuck is happening,” you say. Sam shoots you a pink-cheeked dimpled grin like he is totally turned on by bossiness. You make a mental note.

“Silver kills werewolves,” Dean snaps. “The guy who tried to start a fight last night? Turner? He’s a werewolf. We’re going to kill the werewolf.”

“Give me some silver bullets, let me load up, and then we can go kill the werewolf.” You hold out a hand, smiling placidly when he frowns.

“I don't think-” Sam starts.

“No fucking way you are finishing this thing without me,” you say flatly. “Besides, do you know where he lives? Cause I know where he lives.”

Dean glares and grumbles, but Sam hands over the silver bullets. You fetch your gun from your purse and re-load it quickly.

“Just for the record,” Dean says, as he reaches for the doorknob, “I still think this is a bad-”

The door slams open, knocking Dean aside, and a snarling thing with a mouthful of teeth charges in. Yep, sure enough, it’s Turner. Asshole.

The thing goes straight for Dean, knocking him to the ground. Sam curses and runs at it, apparently trying to fight it with his bare hands, which you can tell immediately is a stupid plan, and Turner whirls just in time to send Sam flying back onto his ass. Dean manages to pull a knife, but the werewolf sends that skittering across the floor as well. It rakes impossibly-sharp claws across Dean’s chest, and Sam and Dean scream in unison.

You pull the safety, aim carefully, and shoot, and the wolf-Turner-asshole-thing slumps over Dean, dead as fuck.

Your ears are ringing. Your tinnitus is not getting better anytime soon, that's for sure. Shit.

It takes a second to notice that Sam and Dean have gotten to their feet and are staring at you with equally astonished expressions.

You raise your eyebrows. “What?”

“That was a really good shot,” Sam says, and you blush like a tomato again.

“Shitty first impressions aside, you’re a badass,” Dean concedes.

“Dean,” you say sweetly. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but if you don’t get out of my house now, I’m going to shoot you. Again.”

Dean looks between you and Sam, who is laughing his ass off, and his eyebrows shoot up. “Oh! Right. Gotcha.”

“Have a good night,” you say, and open the door pointedly. He’s almost gone when he turns back around, pointing at the dead werewolf.

“Don’t you want to at least-”

“No!” you and Sam say in unison.

Dean rolls his eyes, but he leaves, and you lock the door behind him.

“Now, where were- mmph.” His lips are on yours before you can finish the sentence. You smile into the kiss and drag him toward your bedroom.

.

.

.

[satireknight]

TMNT S02E02 - The Incredible Shrinking Turtles

They sound like some kind of circus act, don’t they?

So the story opens in Central Park (not named, but obvious), where Leonardo is busy ruining Raphael’s camouflage hat as a demonstration of why they need to be vigilant and train... only to get humiliated when Donatello disarms him while he’s talking.

There’s then a brief segment where Michelangelo plays a prank on them by dressing in a Shredder costume and dropping in on them, which just makes me wonder if the Turtles have the same myopic affliction as everyone else. Like, you can’t see that this person is the guy you’ve lived with all your lives?

Just then a spaceship crash-lands. I’m not kidding, that actually happens: a spaceship crash-lands in Central Park with a jet-engine sound, and nobody sees it except the Turtles. April must be cussing up a storm.

They immediately dive into the nearest pond to rescue the pilot, a withered-looking little alien in a nightgown who always sounds like he’s got really bad asthma.

Oh, and if you’re wondering where Shredder is... he’s hiding in a bush. That is what Krang has reduced the guy to, following the Turtles around in public and lurking in bushes like a perverted creeper.

Fun exchange:

“Quick, boil some water!”

“We’re not delivering a baby, dimbo!”

“I heard it in a movie.”

The alien quickly exposits that they have to find the three fragments of the Eye of Sarnath, which grants incredible power to anyone who has it. Naturally Shredder hears that part and practically salivates over it. So the alien gives Donatello a crystal tracking device that can take him to the fragments. Yay, we have an arc plot! Then he dies.

Krang is still telling Shredder to fuck off until he can do something right.

The Turtles follow the crystal tracker to the dockside, where garbage is being loaded onto a scow.

“We’re going to dive right into that garbage, no questions asked!”

Donatello whines a little about having to do this sort of shit all the time, before getting literally yanked into the garbage headfirst. He finds it in about two seconds flat... only for this to happen.

Maybe if you DIDN’T hold it up over your head like that.

In an interesting reversal of the usual, the Turtles kinda get their butts handed to them by Shredder. I’m not sure why, except that they seem pretty unaware of their surroundings, which maybe ties into the whole training sequence at the beginning of the episode?

And then the fragment gets all glowy.

It’s shiny. That means it must be important.

And if the title didn’t tip you off, the Turtles immediately start shrinking down to the size of not-very-large dolls.

Shredder kind of sucks at chasing them, since they are small, fast and there are four of them going in different directions. Of course, Donatello is carrying around an object larger and heavier than he is, so he tires out pretty quickly. Fortunately a really unsafe garbage truck driver scatters them, and they’re able to escape in the dust cloud.

Of course, they’re still so tiny that an alleycat could easily munch them down, and they have to get back to their normal size. Which is a problem when you have to get past pedestrians. And when Leonardo insists on telling them to cheer up because, hey, it can’t get worse.

Shaddup, Leonardo.

So they’re washed down a grate and somehow manage not to die from either the fall or the water, and make their way home. Splinter is obviously not pleased, because it means he’ll have to take over the action part of the episode, which rarely ends well for him.

So he calls April to drive him around, while she’s in the Orange Juice meeting. Seriously, every person is drinking OJ. You know, April O’Neil was decades ahead of the trend of having your cell phone go off at odd moments, thus annoying every person around you.

Krang is still telling Shredder to fuck off until he has a pile of dead bodies to show for it.

April is chauffeuring Splinter around (I think that’s the only reason he called her) when they get news that someone is shrinking the Empire State building, which in no way impacts the foundation or the plumbing.

And pretty soon Shredder has a whole terrarium of shrunken buildings, which Igor... I mean, Baxter seems FAR too impressed by.

April and Splinter end up in a traffic jam, in which nobody notices that the guy in the passenger seat is a giant rat. Meanwhile, the Turtles are eating a single slice of pizza, which is more than enough for any of them except Michelangelo.

Then the whole place floods. Like, not for any reason; water just starts pouring in. They all climb on a bar of soap, which... does soap float? In my personal experience, it tends to sink right to the bottom and land on my foot.

Then because the universe hates them, a snake shows up.

Fortunately it’s a very stupid snake that just eats anything thrown at it, so Leonardo gets it to fuck off by feeding it lumps of soap.

Krang tells Shredder to fuck off AGAIN, pointing out that he demanded the Turtles and not shrunken-down buildings, which Shredder was absolutely sure would impress him. Baxter has also created a device that will track down turtles... which would probably be more useful if things like pets didn’t exist.

Meanwhile, the soap is almost gone and everyone is trying to strangle Leonardo.

Or maybe that’s just what it looks like. Michelangelo looks like he’s spooning him.

They end up washing out to sea, which in itself doesn’t seem to be a big deal, since they’re able to comfortably hang out and talk underwater. Fun fact: Turtles in fact cannot breathe underwater, they’re just very good at holding their breath.

Then a piranha attacks.

Maybe Splinter should have put them in a terrarium before leaving the house, for their own good.

Then they’re rescued from the fish by Igor.

I think this might qualify as the worst day of their lives thus far. And one of those days involved listening to the Neutrinos.

Shredder uses them to prove to Krang that he does NOT suck, so there, and why won’t you love me back, Krang? Seriously, he seems to need so much validation.

Donatello tries to defend himself with cliched writing, much to the scorn of the others, and Shredder prepares to kill them with a crowbar. Well, he could have just put them in a jar with no airholes, and that would have probably turned out the same.

Just then the Turtle Van busts in the door (good thing Splinter’s funny feelings are completely trustworthy, or that might have gotten awkward) and Splinter springs out to fight Shredder.

In all the commotion, April decides to do something useful by finding the Turtles in their jar, which she... doesn’t open.

Instead she just sort of coos about how tiny and adorable they are. Donatello tells her to get the crystal and aim it at them, on the assumption that it probably works both ways.

Splinter, meanwhile, is not doing so well against Shredder.

“Quick, April, turn on the beam!” AND OPEN THE JAR. For reasons that become immediately obvious when they start growing, but are getting squished against the sides of the jar.

Fortunately when they literally explode out of the jar, because April couldn’t take two seconds to dump them out, Donatello’s staff goes flying and switches off the machine just before it was going to kill Splinter. And boy is he ever aware of that.

He knocks Shredder onto the floor next to the fragment and... wait, the floor? Where did April go? Did she figure, “Well, I’ve done my part” and just leave the building, dumping the dangerous crystal fragment on the floor as she went?

The Turtles are about to pursue him when Splinter stops them.

“It is useless to try.” The episode’s almost over, and you already got shrunk once already.

And... wait, since Shredder got away with the crystal fragment... what about the buildings? Is this episode literally going to end with multiple buildings, including the Empire State building, being permanently shrunken down to the size of action figures?! 

Verdict:

So this episode was much more enjoyable than the last one, and not just because it doesn’t focus on some random dolts in costumes. It’s a pretty decent version of the help-we’re-tiny-and-dealing-with-tiny-perils story that a lot of shows do (even ST:DS9, one time), as well as setting up a small story arc that will last for a few more episodes.

Perhaps the biggest problem is that the characters had some brain farts that were impossible not to notice, like Michelangelo literally stepping on a snare. Or, you know, April not letting them out of the jar.

But overall, it’s a pretty good episode that maintains some decent suspense, with the Turtles trying really hard not to get squashed, eaten or flushed away. And it gave Splinter something to do, rather than just lurking at home and waiting to see what problems they came home with.

Grade: B-

[caepaecaesurae]

> CC : Tell DH You Got Dunked

Last Thursday at 5:14 PM

caepaeCaesurae Evwening chief devotedHarlequin Cae! C3< caepaeCaesurae c3<  :) An honor and a pleasure.  Howv's the evwening? devotedHarlequin it is being a well enough evening, though I were having to extract a wriggler from the heating ducts. caepaeCaesurae WVhy are they large enough for anyone to get into?

devotedharlequin it is not that they are large, it is that the wriggler is so small caepaeCaesurae trolls clamber into any space they can fit, honestly devotedHarlequin also it is having to do, I think, with carrying enough air to be being effective caepaeCaesurae hm. caepaeCaesurae I imagine there's plenty of design that goes into the things. caepaeCaesurae Had your ear to the rumor mill lately? devotedHarlequin :oO I aint done what is being the happening caepaeCaesurae Long story short, Mituna and I had a bit of a fight, but wve're doing much better nowv. devotedHarlequin Hm. And this fight is being of enough worrisomeness that you are thinking that you need to tell me, but also too trying to make it sound not so bad? caepaeCaesurae It wvas noticeable enough that there's rumors going around. Happy to tell you the full thing ovwer a drink if you wvant. caepaeCaesurae But...aye, I don't really wvant anyone getting ovwer-fussed about it. devotedHarlequin Hm. I aint gonna say no to a drink, or to be seeing you where I can be stealing kisses and for certain sure seeing with mine own eyes that you are okay caepaeCaesurae I'm not saying no to kisses.  Be there in a moment, chief. devotedHarlequin (o:

CC: Caesurae wraps himself in a cloak, and spends a while debating between walking out to the church and trying to teleport himself.  In time, he heads down to the courtyard instead, and uses the public transport pad to transport over to the church pad. DH: His ears perked at the sound of the transportalizer going off and he pocketed his pad, and dusted flour off his hands onto his apron, and walked on out thata way. Small clowns, still very young tussled and chased each other, two sweeps old and sturdy, with other older clowns keeping a close eye on them and waving at Caesurae. He was starting to be well recognized.

The door to the outside was knocked on and laborously opened by one of the adults with purple eyes with only a flew flecks of grey in them, letting in a pair of trolls with baskets full of eggs to hurry off down the hall, getting a laugh out of Arlequin as they passed.

"Cronus!" he grinned as he came into sight CC: Cronus had some recent bite and scratch marks, but they looked a lot more like Nadaya's usual than anything Mituna could've (let alone would've) done.  He grinned wryly when he saw Arlequin, wandering closer to acquire a hug and some relatively chaste cheek-kisses.  "Hey, chief -- good to see you." DH: Cro came away with new white lipstick as he drew back and Arlequin touched his face with a brush of floury knuckles {and you as well sweet voice of reason, have you eaten yet? If we're drinking it may be a good idea.} CC: It was a good thing white was part of his aesthetic.  Cronus gave a wink and a fond grin, loking up at the ridiculous giant.  "{ WVhat a fantastic notion -- I'd lovwe to, if that's an offer. }" CC: He seemed physically intact, which was possibly a nice reassurance. DH: He beconned him with a grin. {There's plenty in the kitchen, there always is, we'll get a couple of flatbreads with some meat vegitables and cream on them} did he mean a pita? He might've. He was going to watch the way Cae moved for signs of lingering injury, but he was relaxing slowly. CC: Caesurae was walking well, which was generally a good sign.  Ankle soreness came and went, but just now he was in a good enough mood it wasn't bothering him.  He followed along cheerfully, reaching up to rest a hand on Arlequin's shoulder as they walked.  "{ You're a wvonder.  I'm afraid my sylladex is busted at the moment, so I'll be making wvhatevwer I offer to drink -- so if you could havwe anything I might havwe heard of on Alternia, wvhat wvould it be? }" DH: He snaked an arm around Cae and hummed a thoughtful sound. {I don't know that you would know our brew master, so I'd have to say perhaps [small exclusive brewery for highbloods]} CC: "{ Unfortunately not, but I do knowv that one.. }"  ...he uncaptchalogued a pleasantly chilled bottle of the suggested beverage, stroking his thumb across the neck of the glassware before offering it up to Arlequin.  Tricking himself into uncaptchaloguing things he vaguely expected to have was /so much easier/ than making things out of smoke.  He wasn't sure why he'd never picked up this method before, but he liked it. DH: Arelquin took the cool bottle with raised eyebrows and a smile. {Garunteed to taste as good as you remember it} He winked at him and gently ushered him into the kitchen where a few of the boys were workin. He busied himself putting together a couple of pocket sandwhiches for them. CC: He smiled wryly and shrugged his confirmation, then came along, leaning against the counter as he 'uncaptchalogued' another and rolled it in his palms.  "{ Aye, that.  ... Pardon if I wvorried you any. }" DH: {You're strong and capable. My worry is why you're downplaying it so much.} He offered Caesurae a bread pocket wrapped in wax paper and absently ruffled one of the smaller clowns' hair. Time to head to his room. CC: "{ Is it dowvnplaying?  ..tsk. }"  He shook his head, accepting the sandwich and taking it and his drink as he followed. CC: "{ Perhaps one night I'll learn wvhy it sounds that wvay. }" DH: {It does sound so. ..When something is so important you feel the need to bring it up, but continue to volenteer that everything is fine it rattles the nerves somewhat}He told him. {..I am glad to see you truly are well} CC: ..he shook his head.  "{ My apologies for that, as wvell then. }"  A faint, sheepish smile.  "{ Maybe I'll learn not to reassure you unless you ask, somenight. }" DH: {I may have a suspicious mind.} He stepped around wrigglers and toys and made his way to his door, to hold it open for Caesurae. CC: "{ So do wve all. }"  He sidestepped the wrigglers easily, but had to swerve slightly to avoid a toy.  He bowed his head as he passed through, finding somewhere comfortable to settle, where he'd be able to immediately lean on Arlequin once the larger troll was down. DH: Arlequin settled in easily, the door wasn't locked but it was closed. He set his sandwich on a knee and  opened the miracle beer his auspistice had given him. {what happened?} CC: Caesurae sprawled out a bit, leaning against him, and taking a moment to wiggle his toes noncommitally before he started opening his own drink. CC: "{ .. WVe argued online, at first, and I managed to offend him wvithout intent.  He came to continue the convwersation face to face. }" CC: "{ There wvas a conflict.  My sylladex and many of its more delicate contents wvere destroyed, and I ended up unconscious in the bay.  He took me to Kankri, wvho eased my panache and wvoke me.   ...after a bit of convwersation, I think wve'vwe resolvwed evwerything, and are nowv at peace, wvith a greater dedication and fewver misunderstandings.  He's resolvwed to fix evwerything that wvas broken, and wvorks at it yet. }" CC: He managed to get his beverage open after all that, and glanced up at Arlequin finally, fin shifting. DH: Arlequin turned that over in his mind, considering, then glanced down at him quickly, eyes going to his chest, looking for an amulet. CC: He had his quadrant jewelry on, but no other adornments.  A violet seadweller in a leather jacket. DH: (the clover is what hes looking for)) CC: (( should still have it, yes )) DH: He relaxed a little when he saw the encased clover and quietly wrapped an arm around him and hugged him against his side. {It sounds as if he were extremely angry, what did you say to him that got him so worked up?} CC: Caesurae relaxed into the touch, but sighed slowly as he leaned against the larger troll.  "... Apparently I implied he wvas damaged and I wvould havwe to make a decision for him.  He wvasn't answvering questions, so I had to guess, and I seem to havwe guessed Exactly WVrong." CC: "And nowv I knowv not to do that." DH: "..Ah." He murmured and held the sea dweller against him. {He hates that. My memories and emotions are mixxed but that I think is the thing he hates most in creation. Being viewed as broken and having choices taken from him.} He frowned.

{..I am not surprised but it doesnt excuse fucking attacking you.} CC: Caesurae leaned against the larger troll, and set his drink down so he could pat Arlequin's chest gently.  "{ ..He's concerned there wvill be trouble for him from this.  I don't particularly care as long as he behavwes in the future. }" CC: "{ ...I wvas startled at the time, but there's no lasting harm. }" DH: He grumbled an unsatisfied noise, and leaned down to kiss a horn. {It is your right to decide your feelings in this, you are the one he hurt. ..And I know that if I say anything against him the wrath of the entire palace will come against me in any case} CC: "{ ..It wvill not, }" He leaned into the attention, then kissed a shoulder.  "{ ..You can speak your mind, and he wvorries about your anger.  I request that you make no threats, but that is my opinion. }" CC: "{ All is wvell, and you and I are safe. }" DH: {I am not stupid enough to threaten a former slave, even beyond the political and justice repercussions. .. I do care about him, whether I would prefer to or not, as well. I wonder if he understands that neither of us would raise a hand to him at all?} He shook his head. CC: "{ ... I don't knowv wvhether he believwes, but I think he is becoming awvare of that on my end at least.  ..One reason that I am glad wve spoke. }" DH: {I am going to have to consider how to express that I'm angry with him without frightening him.} He frowned and started eating his sandwhich. CC: Caesurae snuggled in, quietly starting to eat his own as if in response.  He didn't speak, for a few minutes after that. DH: {He would bait others. when we were young, into fights. Do you remember?} DH: {He is an adult and needs to take charge of his actions during his mood swings.} CC: "{ He is regretful, and wvishes I wvere angry. }" DH: {Of course he is} He sighed. CC: "{ ... It is no intentional act of comeuppance, but I find it difficult to believwe he doesn't havwe the right. }"  nom. DH: {I entirely understand that feeling, although you may want to make sure and give him some pushback, otherwise hes gonna think you're playing him.} What a good sandwich CC: "{ ..I wvill try to remember.  I think he is somewvhat convwinced, though. }" CC: "{ .. He found some things among my effects that suggest I am being truthful. }" DH: {remember when I used to drive you up a wall waitin for you to hate me?} CC: He hesitated, then sighed audibly.  "{ There wvere legitimate reasons to be concerned my opinion wvould change. }" DH: He leaned down and kissed his head. {Let him decide how he feels about you and how to deal with that, I already fucked up enough trying to figure that out for both of us} CC: Caesurae leaned against him, quietly.  "{ ... I wvill try. }" CC: "{ Do you regret asking me to judge?  ... Or do you mean something else? }" DH: He snorted softyly and decided to squeeze him. {I do not regret the judgement, but he is already in the state of mind needed to judge you, Caesurae, and has already decided what he wants} DH: {Imagine if I had decided you judged wrong and followed you around with the knife trying to get you to kill me} CC: ...He glanced up slightly more quickly, fins lowering visibly, when Arlequin mentioned Psii had already decided.  There was visible concern.  The fins shifted slightly as Arlequin went on. CC: ".. He has not mentioned any judgement.  Does he fear I wvould ... ?" DH: "..Caesurae I am speaking of deciding that he wishes nothing." DH: "There is coming a point where insisting on punishment is being more for you, than for him." CC: His fins pinned.  "... If he says he wvants nothing, he can havwe it, but he Does Not.  He has the right, and alwvays wvill, wvhether he takes it or not -- and that doesn't mean he /has/ to, he just /can/." CC: "I'm not -- I'm not trying to tell him he has to ..." DH: "..It sounds as if you are" CC: He made a face, reding his cheek on Arlequin irritably, sandwich held out of the way. CC: "I don't ask him about it, I don't tell him unecessarily, it's just there." DH: "You dont gotta use words to be doing the thing, Cae." he took a sip of his beer. CC: Low, irritable grunt. CC: "..Havwe you talked of this often?" he grumbled softly. DH: "What lettin people pick their own judgement? I mighta done some sermons on it." CC: He chuffed in annoyance.  "WVith /Mituna/." DH: "Oh! Nah, just him tellin me for my own misdeeds toward him. An knowin his younger self." Sip CC: Caesurae glanced away grumpily, not entirely convinced. DH: "You think I'm in any position to be gettin personal conversations bout how he feels about other people?' He smiled at the ceiling. "..Though he did tell me I aint fucked up so bad we caint be friends, which I'm real happy about" CC: Caesurae leaned against Arlequin, and vaguely felt like crawling into a hole, the advice only making him less certain of how to approach the mess.  He'd...thought he knew.  Kind of.  Now there was some entirely new thing to be self conscious about though. CC: "...I am glad for you," he said softly. DH: "thanks, gonna take some work but maybe I aint so big a fuck up." he hummed. "hear you n him're already friends." CC: The softest, most dubious little grunt. DH: "..its prolly gonna be okay unless you're as stupid as me an I ain think thats possible." CC: ".. Howv'd I start that fight again?" DH: "still aint trickin people into attackin you then ritually sacraficin them an eatin them." he mused. "prolly fine." CC: After a moment, his lip twitched despite himself. CC: ..slow, soft, incredulous laughter, followed by a facepalm over the visible half of his face. CC: "..I lovwe you.  WVhy is he this tolerant?" DH: He grinned when he got a laugh. Good. "love you too- donno, I blame Kankri." CC: "Somehowv.  ...Fuck, chief." CC: "..Thank you."  He will never top Arlequin.  Arlequin is the biggest.  At everything. DH: He kissed the top of his head. "Perspective is important." CC: "It.. ...I guess so." DH: "The beer's nice, your memory's good." CC: He wasn't sure why he was blushing, but he buried his face again, snuggling in.  "..For some things." DH: Apparently it was time to squeeze hug the big sea dweller. "..glad you're okay an things aint terrible” CC: "...aye," he agreed after a moment.  "..They're not."  He was quiet a moment before cuddling again. DH: "Its nice to be having you over." he murmured to him. CC: "..should stop by more often." DH: A quiet dubious noise. "Don wanna startle the preacher." CC: "..wvell, /I/ should stop by /here/ more often." DH: "..ah yeah, you know I hear some parts of a sentence oughta be included when you say shit" CC: "...Sorry, chief.  I think wvords aren't my bag this wveek." CC: "I'll wvork on it." DH: "..it aint bother you to be around allt he little brothers and sisters?" he murmured. CC: "..It...depends.  But I'm getting there." DH: "I'm glad. All these lil clowns is sweet as anything most the time when they aint bitin each other cause they bored." CC: "..WVhat wvill be done about their boredom?"  Aside from.. diplomatic talks so they could go outside more. DH: "work, plenty of work with the sheep an the chickens and the cookin and cleanin and buildin on more parts to the church and makin leather things and paintin shit and carvin horns and bones and their learnin of course they gotta spend somma the night in learnins.." CC: He nodded slightly, tracing a shape on the clown's chst.  After a few moments, he started to turn, so he could resume nibbling at his sandwich. CC: He realised on some level that the part of him that had been dead and more than a little crazy would be horrified by his current position cuddled into Arlequin.  ..there was this tiny whiff of Kurloz, though ... CC: "...of most of a sweep of solid friendship... CC: ".. I'll growv used to them in time.   They growv slowvly enough." DH: "Seems so fast to me, some nights" he murmured. CC: "You look forwvard to seeing wvho they wvill become." DH: "So much, its excitin, I'm.. tryin not to get more attached to the purples than the other shades cause it aint fair but.." CC: "..they'll last longer.  ...Aye, best to be fair, but I understand." DH: He made a soft disgruntled sound. "..I've had many loves, lesser and greater amoung the warm hues." CC: "Evwen the briefest of trolls can movwe mountains." DH: "An the cooler of us may die from somethin long before a warm blooded troll does.." CC: "And fuck knowvs if in a realm of magic and technology wvith so many wvarm in powver, if they'll finally be able to fix the longevwity problem." CC: "..Livwe in the moment, it's a brand newv wvorld." DH: "..I plan to, although I aint good at not plannin and working toward a future neither." he gestured around them with his bottle. "suppose I coulda stayed in the castle and loafed a while longer." CC: "I wvonder howv that wvould havwe changed things.." DH: "coulda ended with people bein more familiar and relaxed with me ..coulda ended in kankri havin a melt down and my ass gettin killed before they figured out why he was bleedin.." CC: He softly papped a clowntit, chuffing.  "..wvhich I wvouldn't havwe allowved." DH: "..And if it were Mituna who did it?" CC: A momentary pause, before gamely trying to resume.  "..I wvould relate the issue to his descendant, gather Kankri's aid in turning Mituna after Kankri inevwitably forgivwing any slight against his person, and set the situation to rights." DH: He grunted. "You mean ressurect me" CC: He hesitated, then rested his cheek against Arlequin, shoulders falling. CC: "..Nevwer wvithout your permission." CC: "Any wvho harmed you /that much/ wvould havwe Problems of their owvn, soon enough." DH: He set his bottle down and stroked his hand gently down Caesurae's back. "I got a lot to live for, right now, but the carneval's been callin me a long time." CC: It was not hard to see a circumstance where his friend who had enjoyed death and his friend who was waiting for death could leave him as one of the last highbloods, for a moment.  Caesurae hesitated, then settled slowly.  "..I knowv," he answered.  "..In due time." DH: {In time, not now- call me back, if I go before the church can stand on its own.} He murmured. CC: "...Aye," he answered softly, resting his cheek against the chest of the troll he'd really, really, really, really wanted to murder at a point not too many sweeps in the past. DH: He brought his hand up from his back and rested it against the back of his head, breathing out a slow soft sigh. CC: "..I think I'm a bit..scattered, tonight," he said softly. DH: "You was attacked by an angry psionic then set upon by every motherfucker in the world an hadda defend him without even gettin to take time for recoverin." He noted. CC: "...I awvoke to the middle of a convwersation wvith him, and Kankri wvanted to talk about ..something.. right after," he noted softly. DH: He stroked his fingers at maddeningly short hair lightly. "you wanna drink and rest an talk bout pretty girls?" CC: Much softer, and after a few beats, "..I wvouldn't mind." DH: "..but what is it being that you would like?" he asked in a soft rumble. CC: His expression creased slightly, and he managed a weak smile.  "..I should probably actually start my drink."  He headrattled slightly, trying to draw his composure back up around himself.  "I wvould lovwe to rest, chief." DH: "lets do that then, no more talk of terrible things, tell me about Mindfang's breasts." he patted at him. CC: A soft snort.  "..you'vwe seen them more recently than me.  ... .. sorry, for still being on edge." DH: "I know but you can get damned poetic about them." He chuckled. "..nah, shh, we gon make this fun an get you relaxed." CC: His cheeks colored, but he eased slightly.  "I apparently get poetic about a number of the finer things in life." DH: "You wanna smoke? I'll share." He asked. CC: "..Sure, chief.  You're a wvonder." DH: "spreadin miracles all around" He dug out his little tin and his pipe, lets give this poor troll some relax time. CC: Caesurae settled a bit, cuddled with a giant troll, and tried not to be anxious about attack or self-conscious about his ability to assess social situations safely.  He would eat his sandwich, drink his drink, and enjoy quietly smoking with someone who was on a different place in his personal safety radar than most of the rest of his clade.  Not better, not worse, just different.

DH: ((sounds like a wrap)) CC: (( sounds like it -- I can post it with the tumblr IM thing on the front )) DH: ((sounds good to me :D ))