#and not have 20 different versions of the same thing just slightly different

[soulspice]

me when art

[reallyromealone]

Sorry the anon for the part 3 to bakugos brother. It’s part 3 to kirishima x male reader bakugos little brother plz.

Title: bakugos brother

Chapter: 3

Fandom: my hero Academia

Warnings: male reader, fluff, angst, complicated family relationships

Notes: I'm giving him a quirk for plot purposes

☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️

(Name) Knew his parents weren't as attentive to him as they were his brother, at some point he grew to be fine with it.

What he wasn't expecting was that his parents didn't want him going to U.A because he would outshine his brother; this left a bitter taste in his mouth when he learned this.

Kirishima didn't know what (name)s quirk was, all he knew is that (name) didn't like talking about it but what he wasn't expecting was (name) inviting him to a chess tournament he would be playing at, at U.A. "there's a nice cash prize, maybe after we can get food if Aizawa allows it" (name)s soft and calm voice said over the phone and Kirishima grinned, swooning ever so slightly at his boyfriends casual romanticism "I would love too! Oh there's a place that sells cakes that look like sheep!" He could hear (name) huff out a soft laugh "sure, whatever"

When (name) arrived at U.A with his visitors pass, he was greeted by Aizawa who would be accompanying him, where all players being escorted? "Hello again, Mr. Aizawa" (name) said blandly with a respectful bow, the hero always shocked at how different the Bakugo siblings were "I hope my brother isn't giving you to many grey hairs" Aizawa huffed, amused at the other who was so calm and collected while joking "you think you're gonna win?" The man asked the teen when they made it to the event room, set up with nice chess sets on multiple tables "I know I will"

(Name) Was calm as he defeated his opponents in less than 20 moves, refusing any draws and even managing to make one person cry.

Kirishima watched with rapt attention though he couldn't help but notice that none of (name)s family showed up, not even Bakugo who was in the same location as (name) at the moment and it made the redhead want to support (name) even more, having gotten a bouquet for him as a "you won!" Gift as he watched his handsome boyfriend lay absolute hell upon his opponent.

What they didn't know is that someone was also watching this, with eager eyes and chaos thoughts brewing as he watched every game with rapt attention.

"He was supposed to be the best from Shibuya but he got cocky" (name) said calmly as Kirishima asked him countless questions, he didn't really get chess but he thought it was hella manly and badass at how collected (name) took down his opponents "they aren't my enemies, I would have to care for them to be an enemy" (name) explained when Kirishima said they were his enemies, the redhead smiling with a stupidly happy expression on his face as (name) held a trophy and a cheque of 100k, this was a huge open after all.

"(Name), could you follow me" Aizawa said calmly and (name) looked a bit confused but followed regardless as Kirishima told him he would see him later.

"What's this about?" (Name) Asked as they walked through the halls "Nedzu wants to talk to you" Aizawa said as he knocked on a door, the doors opening automatically as the rat god himself sat at his chair with a smile "please do sit, tea? I know you like your coffee black Aizawa" Nedzu said happily and (name) seemed uncomfortable as he sat down "no thank you" he said softly "congratulations on your win, I see you have never lost a match-- quite impressive"

"Thank you" (name) kept composure as Nedzu sipped his tea "now why didn't you tell us you had an intelligence quirk?"

"Because I don't? I have my grandpa's quirk, a weaker version of my mom's, I basically just have good skin"

"Then it seems you were lied to" Nedzu said looking at the teens grades "you get perfect scores at everything and you learn things at a rate no other student can achieve not to mention the chess tournament" (name) was confused and frustrated as he listened to the principal explain his quirk. "Intelligence quirks are nearly as rare as healing quirks, I am going to have to contact your family as lying about quirks is no joking matter, do you think there's a reason they may have kept this a secret?"

(Name) Knew why, it was always the same reason for everything.

So he didn't outshine his brother.

They did tests after tests, Aizawa there for it all just to make sure the principal didn't go overboard as he often tended to do "... You have indeed an intelligence quirk" Nedzu said simply and (name) felt his world crash just a little, his fears confirmed "so what happens now?"

"I would like you to attend U.A as my student" Nedzu said simply and (name) looked confused "he likes that you don't have that cockiness that those who grow up with intelligence quirks have, you have compassion" Aizawa explained simply and Nedzu nodded in agreement "perfect for a hero" not to mention he saw (name) carefully move snails and usher a mouse away from danger through the cameras, the teen though blunt and cold was willing to help anything in need.

"Why didn't you apply to U.A?" He was often asked and now when the two asked, he answered honestly.

"Because my parents didn't think I would be good enough for it" (name) said genuinely and the room grew quiet "and three people from the same school? Felt incredibly unlikely" he said awkwardly and fidgeted with the trophy in his arms "did you wish to attend?"

"Didn't everyone?"

(Name) Left the office sometime after as Kirishima was waiting with his homework in his lap on a bench just down the hall and perked up when he saw his boyfriend "it's late, do you have a parent to walk you home?" Aizawa asked the teen who shook his head, (name)s parents typically didn't pick him up and simply got him a bus pass-- hell he learned to forge their signatures just so he could do things.

Like chess opens, it's how he made his cash.

"I'll walk you home" he said simply and (name) sighed softly as Kirishima seemed excited at this "could I join sir?!" He was practically vibrating as the teacher sighed before agreeing.

"What did you do!" Mrs. Bakugo barked out angrily, seeing her son being escorted by a pro hero and a hero in training "your son is being escorted home as he had no one to do so after his chess match, crime is rising in the area so it's better to be safe than sorry"

"I see, im sorry he inconvenienced you"

"Actually, I'm also here on behalf of U.A, do you have a moment?"

[mikeyhyy]

After 30 years... (Ford × Male reader)part 1

This is Ford × Male Reader, this story takes place in the year the series takes place. The reader and Ford had a relationship, but it ended because of Bill (I can write a story explaining this part if you want). The reader is 50 years old, he was 20 when he met Ford.

I don't write for female readers so don't even try to ask if it's for a female reader.

ATTENTION: Chapter not revised

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How long has it been since you last seen Ford? 30 years? He just disappeared after the breakup and you don't know where he was, when you broke up it was a very strange breakup because Ford had a different voice and different colored eyes when he simply said he wanted to break up with you, but then they called you a few days ago and who had a female voice that sounded extremely excited and she said that Ford wanted to see you, but it sounded like a voice that was too young to be his wife or something. Now you are in front of the door of the 'Mystery Shack' is that the new name they gave it? Do you remember that Ford never commercialized his discoveries because that was not what he wanted.

You are currently in your fifties and you really are in the best state because you were only twenty when you dated Ford, you were young and naive and he scientist who lived in the isolated cabin in the forest. You actually found the whole mystery very attractive and he found you very attractive too so it came to that.

You only heard from Ford after the break up when you saw a newspaper headline showing him practically drunk in a bar, you realized he was with those same different eyes and decided to stop caring. But that didn't happen and you've been trying to hear from him for the last 30 years.

You squeeze the fabric of his jeans tightly and it feels like a lump has formed in your throat until you wait for a moment until you get the courage, you take a deep breath before finally opening the front door of the store and you enter the store.

Your eyes analyze the store for a moment, you see the absurd prices of strange things that if you have at least two neurons you realize are fake and it doesn't take long so that you heard an excited voice. "Are you the (name)?!" The girl with long brown hair halfway down her back, dressed in a skirt that was a little long to her knees and a very striking sweater, she had a smile on her face which showed her appearance. "Wow, Great uncle Ford was right when he said you're very handsome." The girl speaks again looking very excited, but the boy next to her stares at you even more curiously and he looked like a male version of her, but quieter and he had shorter hair, wore an orange t-shirt, dark blue vest, shorts up to the knee and a cap with a blue brim and blue sides with a blue pine tree.

"Yes, I'm (name)…" You say and put your hands in your pants pockets so as not to show that you're a little nervous, the girl asks you a billion questions and then you see the snack machine moving out of place and being pushed as if it were a door. The one who leaves there is the man who, even though he broke up with you years ago, never left your heart because he was your first love and you were the first love of his life and this is obvious because he drops whatever was in his heart. his hand the moment he sees you.

He looks at you from top to bottom, you've aged very well from his perspective, in fact from a general perspective, you still have a well-built body and your skin hasn't lost much collagen as it is normal for your age and you look so good.

But you can't help but look passionately at Ford, he doesn't look bad either and the gray hair makes him even more attractive in your opinion and he seemed to be in great condition physical. He has become even more handsome, it seems that time has only been good for him.

"(Name)…" Ford's voice sounds almost inaudible, he is so surprised, he runs his hand through his own gray hair with a slightly trembling hand and he can’t seem to believe you’re standing right in front of him after so many years. You look great, his heart beats fast when he looks at you and he can see in your eyes the man he has loved for years even if he has tried his best to forget you in the last few years in which he has passed through different dimensions.

Silence goes on for a few minutes before finally being cut off by the girl in the sweater. "So, it looks like you guys have a lot to talk about and the best way to talk alone is maybe to go out there or whatever older people do when they want a moment alone." She says and looks more thoughtful at the end as she scratches her own chin with a thoughtful expression.

Ford's cheeks get a little red and he motions for you to follow him to the basement because it's no secret to you what's there Inside, you follow him and when you enter he closes the 'door' and you go down the stairs to the bottom. As you go down you see those same screens, buttons and machines so you know that Ford is still the same Ford that you met years ago and won your heart.

(Continues in part 2…)

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I hope you liked it, my creativity ran out at the end and I decided to post a part two for their conversation.

[shaunamilfman]

your name has echoed through my mind

Summary: "You find a camera full of pictures of you from every angle, clearly taken by a stalker left in your backpack. Your left in shock as you consider who possibly could have done this. Certainly it couldn't be Lottie Matthews who has the exact same backpack as you."

nsfw warning

A/N: stalker lottie takes photos of you idk how much clearer i could be lmao. gotta be honest i wrote the plot around the smut sooooo.

You'd noticed before that you and Lottie had the same backpack. It was never something you'd paid all that much attention to, beyond wondering why Lottie Matthews would carry a nondescript black Jansport, but you'd noticed it in passing. Needless to say, it wasn't all that surprising when people mixed up your bags; The two of you would share a smile and just laugh it off. 

That was until Misty had doubled back to the locker room during practice and noticed Lottie's camera had fallen out of her bag in her rush to get to the field. Misty, as helpful as ever, slipped it back into Lottie's bag and zipped it up on her way out. That would have been the end of the story, had that been Lottie's bag. 

You were in a rush to leave practice– having barely enough time to make the dentist appointment that your mom had ever so helpfully scheduled 20 minutes after practice on the other side of town– and didn't end up checking the contents of your bag until much later. 

You stared curiously at the camera as you pulled it out of your bag, never having seen it before. It looked expensive, you knew that much, and well cared for. You wanted to return the well-loved camera to its owner so you spent some time fiddling around with it until you found the saved pictures hoping to find a hint as to who it belonged to. You found some beautiful pictures, it was clear whoever this belonged to was an extremely talented photographer, but you didn't pay much attention to that. 

No, your attention was drawn to something very different indeed. You stare in shock at hundreds upon hundreds of pictures of yourself in various locations, and states of undress. You send a horrified look at your window, storming over to close the blinds immediately: that seemed to be a favorite location of your stalker. 

Who the fuck owned this camera? 

…

You were noticeably paranoid for a few days following your discovery. You’d carefully watch anyone whom you passed in the halls, looking for any hint of your mysterious stalker. Certainly, they’d have to notice that their camera was missing by now, right? You hadn’t seen anyone looking at you suspiciously, or staring for just a moment too long before they looked away. You’d believed that your stalker would end up exposing themselves in a moment of panic looking around for their camera, but whoever it is was careful not to react in front of you at the very least. The only truly suspicious thing you saw was the amount of yearning stares Shauna and Jackie exchanged when the other wasn’t looking, but that was par for the course. 

You even went as far as to stop by the school's art show, intending to find out who had any talent for photography at the very least. You had almost given up hope when you saw it: a blown-up version of a picture you knew was taken by your stalker. It was a beautiful shot, admittedly, and you’d spent a lot of time looking at it. It was nothing truly scandalous, just a shot of nature, but there was just something about it that made it utterly captivating. You couldn’t take your eyes off of it, causing irritated members of the crowd to grumble as they moved around you. There was so much more detail in this blown-up version, you could almost hear the ripples in the water and the way the wind blew the leaves off the trees. You were so captivated that when someone placed a hand on your shoulder you nearly swung at them. You clear your throat awkwardly, sending Lottie an apologetic look as you turn to face her.

“Hi,” Lottie says shyly, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet. You smile genuinely, always happy to see Lottie outside of practice.

“Hey, Yourself.” You greet fondly. You gesture vaguely around the room. “I didn’t know this was your type of thing.”

Lottie shrugs as she takes a quick look around the room, turning back to face you. “Kinda has to be,” She admits with a touch of amusement. “I’m a photographer. That’s my photo you’re looking at.”

Your eyes widen as you visibly fight off the anger. Lottie fucking Matthews was your stalker? Your teammate Lottie Matthews? Your blood was practically boiling at this point, but you fake a shocked look as you look back and forth between her and the photo.

“You’re really talented.” You admit honestly, choking back your rage. Lottie blushes as she looks over at her photo, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. She seems to be incredibly pleased at the compliment but doesn’t quite know how to react to it. She must have gotten a lot of practice taking pictures of me, you think darkly. Never in a million years would you have suspected Lottie to be capable of such a thing, but you figured you could hide a lot of things behind a smile. Even one as undeniably charming as hers.

“Thanks.” She says softly, smiling widely down at you. She holds eye contact for a fraction of a second too long, seeming to realize her mistake as she glances back up around the room. “Do you want to look around with me?” She asks, looking a little unsure. You’ve already looked at every other piece here as you tried to nonchalantly work your way to the photography section, but you figured this would give you a chance to learn more about your stalker. 

You finally got to do some watching of your own, staring intently at her as you follow her around the art show. You take perverse pleasure in the way she fidgets uncomfortably under your watchful gaze. She keeps trying to sneak a peek at you when she thinks you're not looking, flushing every time as she pretends to look at something behind you. Lottie Matthews I almost feel bad for you, you think in amusement. You’ve never realized how obsessed with you she seemed to be, but it was undeniable in the way she couldn’t stand to keep her eyes off of you for any significant period of time.

You could work with this.

…

You’ve spent a significant amount of time watching Lottie at school lately. You’d feel bad about practically stalking the girl, but you figured it was fine since she never felt bad about literally stalking you. You weren’t sure if you had just grown paranoid with everything going on, but you swore you saw flashes of brown hair whip around a corner when you turned around suddenly. You never had more than a gut feeling, but you were almost positive that Lottie had resumed stalking you again. You wondered idly if it was different without her camera to photograph you with.

You’d lost a lot of your initial disgust the more you watched her. There was something intriguing about having someone like Lottie Matthews obsessed with you. You’ve been walking on cloud nine ever since; You’ve never felt less insecure in your entire life. You grew to enjoy how responsive she got to your attention, no matter how little you gave her. You smiled at her in the hallways a few times, and she’s since taken to trailing after you like a lost puppy. She paid such close attention to the smallest little comments you made– she even started bringing an extra jacket after you offhandedly mentioned you tended to forget yours. She claimed it was for her, of course, but you knew that she was desperately waiting for a chance to offer it to you.

You keep getting stuck on that thought. What does she get out of seeing you in the jacket? Is it just seeing you in her clothes, or is there something more perverse she’s looking for? You spent many a late night thinking about what she’d do with the jacket if you wore it. Still, you refused to give in to something she obviously wanted desperately. You couldn’t let her get off scot-free for stalking you, after all. Even if you’ve decided you were more into it than previously thought.

…

You're nearly jumping for joy as you slam the door of your car shut. You normally waste your Wednesday nights babysitting your cousin, but thankfully he was too sick for your aunt to leave him alone. Obviously, it wasn’t good that he was sick, but you found yourself happy enough to have the free time anyway. You eye the unfamiliar car parked across the street curiously, not expecting to have any visitors. No one was usually home at this time, your parents were out working and you were normally at your aunt's.

You're about to open the handle to your room when you suddenly become aware of the sound of something bumping against your creaky closet door. You’ve spent enough time living here to familiarize yourself with the noises of the house settling, so you knew for sure that someone was definitely in your room right now. You're filled with an intense fear, shaking terribly as you try to pull your phone out of your pocket to call the police. You pause suddenly as you hear a distinctly feminine moan coming out of your room. Your eyes narrow in anger. Lottie fucking Matthews.

You slam the door open, startling Lottie who pops up quickly out of your hamper. The first thing you notice is the look of immense guilt and fear on Lottie’s face as she stares back at you. Her big brown eyes are wide with terror with her mouth slightly open in shock. Her outfit is nice, a little too nice to be rummaging around in someone's hamper in all honesty. Leave it to Lottie to overdress for her creepy stalking activities. The last thing you notice is your underwear clenched firmly in her hand. She follows your eyes and guiltily worries her lip between her teeth as she realizes what you’ve seen.

“Give them here.” You say firmly. Lottie whimpers, actually whimpers, as she holds them out to you. You snatch them out of her hand, feigning a look of disgust as you look at her. She can’t even look you in the eyes, face going bright red as she stares down at her feet. You reach up to grab gently at her chin, jerking it up and forcing her to make eye contact with you.

“What were you going to do with these?” You ask sternly. 

Lottie sputters, actually speechless, as she tries to come up with something that couldn't possibly excuse her actions. “I think you were going to go home and touch yourself, pervert.” You say mockingly. Her face burns with the evidence of her shame, fruitlessly trying to lower her head again to avoid your forced eye contact. You drop her chin and she immediately zeroes in on a stain in your carpet as she tries to pretend she isn’t there.

“Look at me.” You say gently. Lottie slowly looks back up, looking lost and a little unsure. “Do you want them?” She eyes you wearily as if she’s wondering what kind of trick you're going to pull on her as she slowly nods. You hold them out towards her as they hang off of one finger. She raises a hand out to snatch them, but you yank them back before she can. She gives you a pathetic look as her eyes follow them even as her body can’t. You enjoyed your power over her even more knowing that she let you have it. Lottie Matthews was a big girl, and if she wanted to overpower you you weren’t sure you’d be able to stop her from taking them from you.

“I’ll give them to you, but you're going to show me what you’re going to do with them.” You offer smugly. Lottie's eyes go wide as she blushes scarlet.

“You… You want to watch me…” She trails off unsurely. You nod encouragingly for her to finish her sentence. “You want to watch me touch myself?” She asks quietly as if she can barely force the words out. 

Not quite so easy when you're the one being watched, is it? You think vindictively. You’re self-aware enough to admit to enjoying her humiliation as she looks back and forth between you and your underwear with a mix of desperation and embarrassment. She nods after a long moment, glancing around your room awkwardly. You slip your underwear into the back pocket of your jeans as you resist the urge to celebrate your victory too soon.

You step forward and lead her back to your bed, crawling up after her as she scoots up your bed. She sits unsurely in the middle as she looks up at you for guidance as you hover over her. You eye her outfit decisively for a moment before you lean forward and slowly unbutton her blouse. Her eyes are blown wide in disbelief as she intensely tracks your movement as your fingers nimbly expose her chest to the room. She whines quietly as your fingertips brush ever so slightly against her stomach as you untuck the bottom of it from her skirt, letting it fall uselessly against the bed beside her. 

You scrutinize the exposed skin closely, reveling in the way it makes her fidget uncomfortably. Your eyes inevitably get drawn up to her nipples and how they firmly poke their way through her bra. “Cold, Lottie?” You ask as just a hint of a smirk graces your lips. She pouts as you tease her, but doesn’t otherwise comment on it. She looks at you with a look of utter adoration, as if she couldn’t believe she got the chance to be teased by you. It was undeniably pathetic, and yet you found yourself growing hot at the thought regardless.

Lottie jumps slightly as your cold fingers slide down her sides, arching her back towards you as you reach behind her to unclasp her bra. You greedily take in the sight of her newly revealed breasts, barely resisting the urge to take one into your mouth. You pull her bra slowly down her arms, gently pressing your hand against her chest to push her into laying flat on the bed as you toss it off the edge.

You slide your hands up the outside of her legs slowly. Lottie’s hips jerk up against nothing as your fingers finally curl around the waistband of her panties. Lottie’s breath stutters as you slowly drag them back down her thighs, exposing her to your gaze once again. She curls her legs to help you get them off. You murmur praise at the action, carefully noting the way she worried her lip between her teeth as you did. Seems you found something else she enjoyed. You drop her panties off the side of the bed, not wanting them to get lost, as you take her in. You’ve kept the skirt on, enjoying the way she's just barely dressed as she’s spread out in front of you.

You spread Lottie’s legs as you shift up to kneel between them. You drag her down the bed slightly so that her hips rest on the bed near the front of your knees, her long legs forced to spread around your hips. She gasps at the action, eyes blown wide in arousal. “Well?” You ask expectantly. Lottie slowly moves her trembling hand to her stomach, inhaling sharply at the feeling of her own fingertips brushing against her. She presses her palm flat against her stomach, staring up at you to make sure you’re still watching, as she drags it up her torso teasingly slowly.

She moans softly as she cups her breast, squeezing none too gently as she moves her other hand up to mirror the touch. You watch the action intently, almost shocked by how rough she’s being with herself. She doesn’t immediately go for her nipples, carefully avoiding them even as she plays with the rest of her breasts, which gives you a sneaking suspicion that they must be pretty sensitive. Slowly, ever so slowly, does she finally slide her fingers up to start circling her nipples with her thumbs. She gasps at the touch as her eyes slam shut, confirming your suspicion of her sensitivity. 

You’re almost salivating as you gaze down at her. Her eyes flutter back open as she looks up at you, breathing heavily as she starts to get rougher under your constant supervision. She whines as she pinches her nipples between two fingers and tugs, back arching off the bed in response. You press your hand against her stomach, pressing her flat against the bed. She moans all the more at the pressure, almost struggling against you to avoid the pinch she’s given herself. She lets go as she reaches her limit, fingers gently circling her nipples again.

“Are you always this rough with yourself?” You ask curiously. She blushes shyly as she shakes her head, squeezing herself even rougher at the sound of your voice.

“I like to be rough when I’m imagining you touching me.” She admits breathily, head thrown back in the pillow as she enjoys her own stimulation. You gasp at the admission, not quite expecting that answer. She’s breathing so heavily she can hardly get the words out, completely overwhelmed with the entire situation.

“Am I always so rough with you?” You ask quietly, eyes fixating on how red her nipples are becoming. She shivers as she moans out a yes, chest quivering at the touch. Her rough touch is just making herself even more sensitive, seemingly becoming more and more painful the longer she goes on. Just like she imagines you’d like. You wonder how much time she spent imagining your touch, imagining what it would be like to lay under you. You hope she touched herself like this in her car as she sat outside your house all night watching you. The thought of her getting herself off like this while you were innocently sleeping inside is almost too much to bear.

“Tell me how what I'd do, Lottie.” You demand. She looks down at her hands on her breasts as she imagines they are yours. She stutters slightly as she tries to find the breath to answer.

“Fuck.” She breathes out, her heart racing against her chest. “You’d be gentle with me at first, making it so much better when you started getting rough when you realized how badly I wanted it.” She moans at the thought, getting distracted as she pinches her nipples between her fingers again. “You… Your fingers. They’re so big. So rough with me.” Her voice breaks a little as she gets lost in her imagination, her cheeks flushing at the thought.

“Tighter.” You instruct, the corners of your lips quirking up as she whines painfully at the pinch. You watch the tears prick the corners of her eyes. She’s so sensitive now that she can barely stand it, but she’s so desperate to please you. Every brush of her hands against her breasts leaves her twitching and moaning. “Such a good listener.” You praise gently. “You can let go now, Lottie.”

She sags back down against the bed, smiling weakly at the praise as she catches her breath. She gives you a questioning look when you shake your head as she starts to touch her breasts again. You reach into the back pocket of your jeans and pull out your underwear, making her eyes go wide as she watches them intently. You hold them out for her and she snatches them greedily, almost as if she couldn’t stop herself. She looks a little apologetic as she holds them, but quickly brings them up to her nose to breathe the scent of you in. Your eyes widen slightly at the action, not entirely sure of how you feel about that. Still, the effect they have on Lottie is undeniable.

Her face slackens as her entire body relaxes back against the bed. Her fingers curl in the fabric as she brings it down to her lips to lick them intently. You breathe out shakily at the signs of her obvious enjoyment. She almost seems to forget you were there for a minute as she goes to town on them, her legs trying to shut around you as she's desperate to get some friction. She whines as she finally drags her eyes away from them, eyes blown wide in arousal. “Show me. Show me what you’d do with them.” You remind her shakily, unable to take your eyes off of her.

She releases a muffled moan as she slides her hand down her stomach, bunching up her skirt around her hips so you can see her better. She inhales sharply when you place your hands on her knees, spreading herself for you as you lean closer. 

Lottie has strong thighs, the muscles clenched tight like they're begging to be touched. It takes everything you have to resist the urge to slap her hand away and do it yourself. “Can you see it?” She asks, nearly begging. “Can you see how much they've made me want you?” You give her a jerky nod, unable to tear your eyes away from her. She's so wet that it's dripping down her thighs. She's made a real mess of herself on your bed. You wonder what she tastes like, what she would feel like in your mouth. Your mouth waters as you imagine the way she'd twitch against your tongue, how she'd feel clenching around your fingers. 

“All for me, Lottie?” You murmur. She whimpers in agreement, nearly sighing in relief as her fingers finally make contact. You can hear how wet she is as she slides her palm down, thighs tensing as she grinds up against her hand as if she can't stop herself. She maintains eye contact with you as she slowly slides two fingers inside herself, whining greedily at the stretch. Her legs squeeze against you as she instinctively tries to close them, once again forcing her to remain spread open before you. 

She throws her head back with a loud moan as her hips chase her own thrusts. You can't bring yourself to even blink, not wanting to miss a second of watching her pleasure herself in front of you. She whimpers when she starts grinding up against her palm, too sensitive by far but unable to resist the urge. Her hips jump back but she powers through her own sensitivity, so desperate to show herself to you. 

She's got her other hand clutched around your underwear, periodically bringing it up to her nose as she writhes against her touch. You watch for a long while as she revels in her pleasure, her motions getting jerkier and jerkier the closer she gets. Finally, you decide to interrupt. 

“Is this what you do when you take your little pictures, perv?” You taunt, enjoying the look of shock as her eyes flew open. She looks at you guiltily, hand never stilling, as if she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Eager for the treat, but embarrassed at being caught red-handed. “Oh, Lottie. Did you think I didn't know?” She nods her head shamefacedly, unable to maintain eye contact with you. 

“I'm sorry,” Lottie murmurs shamefully, looking at a spot behind your head. You might believe her if it wasn't for her pleasured sighs and the way her fingers had sped up their motions as her legs started shaking against you. You knew it was turning her on to be caught like this. The humiliation only made her wetter. 

“Close your eyes, perv. I think you've seen enough.” You command gently. She whimpers at the name but obediently closes her eyes again. You watch to make sure she's going to keep her eyes closed tight as you reach for something you've kept hidden behind you. 

…

Lottie clutches her camera to her chest the entire ride home. She'd felt so lost without it and was so relieved to finally have it back, despite how surprised she was that you had given it back to her at all. She dove into her gallery the second she got home, hoping against hope that you hadn't deleted all of her pictures of you. She flushed slightly knowing she would have deserved it for how creepy she's been, but she just couldn't stop herself. 

She nearly drops the camera in her shock, whining at the sight that greeted her. She wondered when you'd managed to take those pictures of her without her noticing. How long were her eyes even closed? She wonders, taking in the view of her back arched as she ground up against her hand. Was this how you saw her? 

She grins as she puts her camera down, reaching for your underwear in her bag as the other sneaks back under the waistband of her skirt. She has a desperate hope that you'll consent to let her take more photos of you in the future, but for now, she'll have to make do with what she has. If you didn't consent… Well, there was always your window. 

[mrs-gauche]

So, I *think* I've calmed down enough to form coherent sentences about this trailer now, after watching this about a gazillion times. 😂 There is just SO much in this and I still can't believe it's all real.. I feel like people have already dissected every single frame anyway, so here are just my poor two cents (that's a lie, it's an essay lol), I'm sure 90% of this has probably already been said lol, but I just had to write my thoughts down, so there you go. 🫠

But first, can I just ask you guys this.. Does anyone else feel SO friggin overwhelmed every time something huge like this drops? 😂😭 Like, I LOVE the collective excitement and freaking out over all this with the fandom together in real time, and maybe it's because I'm not a native English speaker, but I'm watching the trailer live and within like fifteen minutes there are already a bazillion notifications, messages, people have already made hundreds of theory posts, edits, fanart and shitposts, meanwhile I'm sitting here still looking at the FIRST FRAME and trying to process what I'm even looking at. lmaoo Like, it takes me SO long to take it fully in, calm down and look at ALL of it in detail, while I go radio silent for like two hours, making people think I just died watching the trailer, I guess. lmaooo So.. sorry if it takes me forever until I even go on here and look at everything you guys are posting. 💀 <3

Anyway, so first of all, I'd like to just generally say... Everything about this blew. me. away.

Look. After like 20 years of watching BioWare's entire animation catalogue of the same 25 movements in every cutscene, that it would make you jump every time a character but even slightly moved differently than everyone else, we're now getting a game that is SO INCREDIBLY CINEMATIC, SO SMOOTH, unlike any BioWare game before. A game where everyone just moves and expresses emotions like their own person, making everything a hundred times more immersive and impactful!!

Not only that but there's a BioWare game now with PHENOMENAL LOOKING HAIR and REALISTIC HAIR PHYSICS. Guys, do you understand this is HISTORY??? lmao We've been asking for this for YEARS and it's happening!! 😭

And the cinematography? THE CINEMATOGRAPHY?? Just looking at that very FIRST LOCATION SHOT alone. The camerawork, the composition, the fluidity of movement, the shift of focus, the lighting, the use of MoCap, the facial expressions... As someone who spent a *LOT* of time using the flycam to make cinematic gifsets of DAI, where - with all respect to the devs - 90% of the camerawork basically consisted of "zoom in/zoom out"... this. blew. my. fucking mind.

Like, they did it. They mastered the Frostbite engine on all fronts. And it truly hurts my heart seeing people compare this to Fortnite or whatever, when in my opinion this time they actually managed to find a perfect mix between stylized and realism, in favor of making the characters even more expressive and this coupled with the use of MoCap and the incredible cinematography will make these emotional scenes hit SO hard and.. ugh, I just love it so much. 🥹❤️❤️

With this being said, let's dive into it!

Okay, so I know this is super random, but it was literally the first thing I noticed about this trailer. lol Did you noticed that it said "BioWare" *before* "Electronic Arts" in the beginning, unlike that first... controversial reveal trailer, where it was the other way around? 😂 Not reading anything into this of course (or do I? lol), but.. Idk, I thought it was.. interesting. 👀

So we start off with the first of many amazing tracking shots, with the camera orbiting around Rook in this place devoid of color or life. The note at the bottom made me chuckle "Game engine footage with some costum camera angles", I was like "Oh, so they used the flycam to make this?". lol So some shots of these will look different in the final version (what kind of spoilers are they hiding?? 👀👀).

I do hope that next shot DOES end up in the game though, because holy SHIT, that FIRST wide shot already blew. me. away.

Look at the COMPOSITION of this.

Actually, you could probably take every single location/wide shot of this trailer and hang it on your wall. lol But seriously, the way this place just looks... dead. It makes me think of "void" rather than Fade.. like an ancient graveyard. The raw Fade looks generally creepy, but this is haunting even for that. There's no life, no color, no motion. It's all broken and crumbled. Almost like it reflects Solas' feelings. People are speculating if this place might change depending on Solas' state of mind.. This is the Fade after all, but Solas is here physically and this being the place that was supposed to be the new prison for the gods.. It's probably different from the rest of it.

We also see all seven statues of the pantheon from the ritual site again. Solas "I have the high ground", *literally* talking down to Rook, while standing on two separate cliffs (how did Rook even get there, I wonder? lol), like there is quite literally a rift between them (for now..!) and Solas is keeping a distance, as always. We still don't know how that connection between the two even works, I assume Rook can only contact him while asleep? But to think that this is the place where he is trapped now, where he is even more isolated than ever before, is making me so emotional. ;-;

I love how it's just black and white though. It gives the scene a destinct atmosphere that might be important, if this is where we get to see Solas doing a lot of introspection. In the art of filmmaking, the absence of color is often used to force the audience to focus on the contrast, textures, and tones present in the image, which can evoke a deep sense of emotion.

And speaking of emotions...

"You have no idea what you have done."

We had already heard that line before, but something about that booming, echoing effect they used on his voice sent a shiver down my spine!

"The blighted elven gods walk free. And all because you disrupted my ritual."

To me, he *sounds* much more frustrated here than he *looks* when saying that. lol He looks incredibly worried though, and just so tired. A moment ago, he was SO close to achieving his goal after hundreds of years of preparation and then he failed again... and now there is this completely clueless stranger who got him in this situation, but who he has to rely on now to stop these gods, when he's unable to trust anyone, and yet he can't even yell at them too much, because he *needs* them. He must be so exhausted.

And yes, it is kinda funny how they put "elven gods" in quotation marks. lol

Thank god he still has his freckles though. ❤️ We're actually seeing a lot more texture on his face here than in the gameplay showcase. And yes, not only did he get his eyebrows microbladed but apparently he's also sporting eyeliner and lipstick now. 😌✨✨ The only downside to the lack of colors here is that his super purple eyes are not poppin' anymore. lol

"You battle against gods. They will not rest until you are on your knees. Fearful. Cowering. Helpless in the face of such power."

I love how they play this line so early on in the trailer, that it makes you go "WAIT... IS THAT- NO WAY" and not until the end do we get the confirmation with the most amazing entrance ever.

We then get a shot of what I think has to be Treviso in flames and Ghilan'nain symbolically coiling her tentacles around a crow statue's head, as she's probably about to take over the city. 👀 *falls on my knees the second I meet her in the game* lol

Then there's the shot of this horrifying Blight.. lump.. growth thing that has completely devoured an elf (and several other bodies it seems) with a hair style that has everyone wondering if this could be Felassan! 🥺🥺🥺 As much as I would LOVE for Felassan to make an appearance.. I kinda hope this *isn't* him.. because good god, whatever happened to this persom here must be pretty traumatizing (are they even still alive?) and also, how do we get them out of there? lol Either way, seeing as there are Harding, Bellara and Neve accompanying Rook here, this might be earlier in the game (and this is them dicovering that the Blight is already spreading rapidly?) and yet it already shows us that this Blight is on a whole other level than anything we've seen before, and it's taking every living thing.

Then we see another snowy place (or might this be within the same area?) that's also in huge parts taken over by the Blight. You can also see a dead(?) dragon lying on the ground at the bottom right corner? 🥺

Then Elgar'nan literally pops up right next to Ghilan'nain, and btw, I love how I can't even tell where her body begins or where it ends in this shot. lmao What ARE you, Ghili?? 💀

It looks to me like maybe she was struck by a bolt/spear from a ballista or something? The Grey Wardens tried to take her out maybe? Looks like the power of Elgar'nan's mere presence blows the Wardens away then lol, like they're just insects to him.. and in the blast we can see a person that looks like Evka?? <3333 (please don't die here though 😭)

Then we're getting a first glimpse of a dragon that shows up multiple times in this trailer. Also, to me, it looks so much like the dragon from the Golden City vinyl cover, which has me like 👀👀👀👀

Next there are a few scenes from the prologue we've already seen in the gameplay showcase, but it's coupled with new lines from Varric, that have me super worried. :(

"Rook, you've got this. I've seen your work. You're clever, adaptable. And you don't know when to quit.

My first reaction to this was "Oh god no, that sounds so much like a "passing the torch" kind of dialogue to me" as in Varric either dies (PLEASE NO but it IS super suspicious how he's not seen or mentioned in any other scene so far) or retires his role as the leader of this group and hands it over to Rook. And he just sounds... weary. 🥺 I wonder what he means by "your work" though? Is he talking about things Rook has done before Varric recruited them? Or is it maybe later down the line, after Rook has already proven themselves to be a great leader? 🤔

Then we get another shot of that one dragon and our first look at Harding with the bruised face (whoever did this, come fight me!) and some poor person tangled in.. something, I'm not sure. lol

Then there's a super quick shot of the floating building in Minrathous, followed by Rook opening a gate Aragorn style, which leads me to believe that this is actually somethere IN that floating building maybe?

But the fact that Rook and everyone else seems to be wearing casual clothes in the following shots, plus the architecture in the background has me wondering if they might be at the Lighthouse actually? 👀

Especially because in the very next shot we see Rook, Bellara, Neve and Harding all in casual clothes again in front of a giant eluvian and I wonder if that's the mirror that we've read about in the Game Informer article. The special eluvian at the Lighthouse that can take you anywhere? :o

Speaking of the Game Informer article, it also told us that Rook, Harding and Neve went back to the ritual site after what happened in the beginning, which is probably what we're seeing here!

"You want allies to go after the elven gods. I've got places to look."

Well, good thing we have a clever detective on the team that apparently knows people who would willingly fight some gods. lol Notice how Harding's face is still injured in this scene. 👀 So I assume whatever happened to her must've happened at the ritual site? Btw, I love how the trailer makes it look like they're all in casual clothes and the second they're stepping through the eluvian, they're in full gear? 😂 (I'm sure those two scenes take place at different times though.) It's crazy how much different the Arlathan Forest looks now, without the cataclysmic storm and all. I love the lighting, the colors and the soft rain! :3

Then we get another gorgeous location shot to hang on the wall. <3 My guess here is definitely Anderfels, given the landscape and those "pillar ring" things we've seen before (I still have no idea what those are, the funniest guess is still griffon training flight path 😂 But something tells me those things will be important.).

"I'll be damned! A griffon!"

Davrin and Assan!! <33333 And the dialogue makes it sound like this might be the first time they meet each other?? 🥹🥹 Followed by a scene of Davrin taking care of business and what might be the return of children in DA?? 😭 Seeing that little girl made me so happy, because that was actually one of the few things on my wishlist for DA4, because I always felt like children make the world feel SO much more real and immersive and besides Kieran, children were completely absent in DAI.

Am I trippin or does it look like this child is smiling here, while running away from a horde of darkspawn?? 😶 Kids in the Anderfels are build different, I guess. lol

"In war, victory."

CHILLS!!

Then we see Assan again, who is pinning down a.. thing I can't identify. lol I'm very curious about all those cages in the background though.. 🤔

We then get one of the shots that made me freak out the most, because it's a flippin *underwater* shot of elven ruins??? 😱😱

We know it's elven because if you look very very closely, you can see a Halla statue in the distance, to the left side. I'm immediately reminded of the stories about Arlathan having sunken to the ocean floor! There's also still all that mention of Ghilan'nain's grey "goop" that smells like the ocean and another shot later on of a dragon (Elgar'nan?) emerging from the ocean! 👀👀👀

And aside from all that, it's just such a sick level design!! 😍 What do these ruins look like if you enter them in the game? How do we get there?? There's an eluvian in the middle of the ocean on the newest map that's included in the Collector's Edition! 👀👀 If that one flippin theory of mine actually turns out to be true and there are somehow two parts of Arlathan, one on the ocean floor and another in the center of the Fade/the Black City, I'll do a triple backflip. lmaoo

Then Lucanis jumps in with some incredibly smooth fighting moves against the Venatori... and PURPLE WINGS!! So we were right with our speculation about the reveal trailer! Why does he have them? Is it some connection to a pride demon that revived him? 😂 I don't know, but it looks SO cool!! And after showing off, we hear his first line "I'm ready" with that sweet sweet accent, which is just the cherry on top!! <333

What the heck is up with the sky in this one?? My first thought was the Lighthouse?? 😍😍 Because if you look closely, there are a few wolf head ornaments on the walls? 👀 And this could be in the Crossroads and just like a real Lighthouse, there's a light on the top..? 🥹

Then there's Bellara using some magical device, that looks super similar to the things that were next to the big eluvian in that other scene!

Which makes me think that this might be where we help Bellara find this artifact in order to get the eluvian at the Lighthouse to work properly (since it doesn't seem to work right without Solas, according to the Game Informer article).

"I've never seen this before. There's something kind of exciting about it!"

Not gonna lie, that line and that weird looking device gave me Peebee flashbacks from Andromeda, which I honestly wasn't the biggest fan of. 😂 But Ghil Dirthalen (member of the community council) responded to me a few weeks back on twitter and confirmed that Bellara is nothing like Peebee at all. lol So that's a relief. 😂 I'm really looking forward to learn more about her and every time I see her magical gauntlet, I'm reminded that we're *definitely* not in Ferelden anymore. lol

Anyway, we then get a few shots of the Deep Roads?? Kal-Sharok??? 👀👀 And of course, there's Harding's big reveal of her new magical powers! The animation on this looks sooo amazing!!

Like many suspect, the Titans' awakening might have something to do with this! I totally agree with what Ghil Dirthalen said on twitter recently and, rather than this being Harding having Solas' petrification powers, it's actually Solas who has the powers of the Titans/stone sense/whatever Sandal did to those ogres back then lol. (I need Sandal to return and be her "teacher" or something 🙏❤️) We know of Solas' orb, which was likely created by obtaining the heart of a Titan. And if the Titans are connected to the Forgotten Ones, Fen'Harel was once considered their ally in Dalish legends. 👀

Also, if you look closely, you can see that the moment her powers are triggered, we see the blue glowy effect all over her body, like glowy lyrium veins almost?

And that in turn could hint at something in connection to her blood? So that big injury we see on her (which is still visible in this scene btw!) was maybe the moment her blood came in contact with something that awakened these powers? (We need Valta back to explain! lol)

"What is happening to me?"

That delivery gave me chills again... She is frightened. Ali Hillis is so good. 🥺🥺🥺

Next up is the Grand Necropolis and people have already pointed out that the ceiling we see at that entrance hall or something looks like a GIANT rip cage?? 💀 (What kind of creature would be THIS big???)

First look of Emmrich in-game!!! And he's wearing a fancy new outfit!! And I paused at the perfect moment to catch Rook already falling in love with him, clearly. lmao

There are two characters next to the gate that could be anybody, really. Myrna from Tevinter Nights or Joanna from the short story "The Flame Eternal"? The guy on the right is actually giving me Executor vibes?? 👀👀👀

Then there's Giant Skeleton Monster (Manfred's mom?), and don't even ask me what this could possibly be. 😂 I just hope we don't have to fight THAT (we totally will 💀). I got flashbacks of the Human Reaper endboss in ME2. 😭😭

"Let the Fade draw close!"

There's something kinda... posh about the way he says this? 😂 Like, he's not really intimidated by Giant Skeleton Monster and it's just another Tuesday in the Grand Necropolis and Professor Volkarin is just doing his every day job. lol

Then there are two shots of what I think is somewhere in the Anderfels but snowy again, like that area in the beginning where Elgar'nan and Ghili showed up? And a destroyed watchtower that is occupied by the Wardens. Then we get a *third* and final shot of this beauty again.

"Draw the dragon out into the open. Then attack."

I assume that's Taash?? Sadly, that shot of her drawing her weapon is all we got from her in this trailer, but she looks awesome!! <333 We're gonna be Lord of Fortune buddies, even though we might disagree on the matter of dragon hunting lol (look, I don't want to *fight* dragons, I want to be *friends* with them 🫠😂❤️ I want to see them live their best lifes.. for the most part (I get to the Elgar'nan dragon and the blighted "twin dragons" in a second lol))

We see the docks of Minrathous for a split second and then a first glimpse at a romance scene between Rook and Neve? 👀 At the Lighthouse maybe?

"You and me Rook. Maybe that's what scares me."

What does she mean by that exactly? Does Neve have commitment issues? lol Or is this more like a "We're a dangerous match, Rook. We'll be too powerful of a couple. Like Bonnie and Clyde." kinda statement? 😂

And THEN... Well, then we get probably THE most badass looking introduction/entrance of any character in DA yet. lol And YES, I freaked out SO hard.

SHE'S BACK. Returning like the QUEEN that she is. 🙏 And of course, she has to come down a flight of "stairs" again. lol (And no, Claudia Black did not lie, she just wasn't contacted at the time. 😁) Gosh, that transformation is so SMOOTH. I could watch that forever, it's so darn beautiful. 😍 Again, the way this is done, cinematically.. just *chef's kiss*.

In retrospect, it seems almost like a given that she would be back because.. well, everything about the way DAI ended. lol Flemeth wanted her to inherit her "godhood", and she looks more than ever like her mother now. Remember the designer notes on that last scene in DAI.

Flemeth intends to let Solas have the power, so long as she can pass the essence of her godhood onto Morrigan, a gift Flemeth had always planned for her daughter yet one Morrigan misunderstood as hostile possession.

So, what exactly is she now? Did she receive whatever Flemeth sent through the eluvian at the end of DAI? Does she carry Mythal now?? If so, does Solas know (I NEED a conversation between those two technically "half-siblings", because Flemeth/Mythal is both their "Mother"? 😂)?? Remember when I said that this one dragon that appears multiple times here reminds me a lot of the dragon on the vinyl cover with the Golden City, which is very likely Mythal? So my very first thought was that the dragon is actually Morrigan?? lol Just throwing that out there.

It seems to me that she is with the Dalish/Veil Jumpers in the Arlathan Forest now? (Btw, if you look closely, you can see elven mosaics in COLOR in the background? :O)

"These are the times in which legends are born or slain."

That line goes so HARD aHhhh. Also, speaking of slain, that new outfit is slaying too. <33 Her return also means that the Well decision and potential consequences are back on the table, which will definitely keep me up at night again. 💀

That moment right there. She is everthing. ❤️❤️❤️ I wonder if we're gonna see Kieran again?? 🥺🥺

We then get the most impressive tracking shot and choreography of what I think is Teia and Viago fighting some Venatori?? <333333 Like, seriously, the way the camera is following his movements in this shot without a single cut, makes me think of something like flippin Games of Thrones' Battle of the Bastards. 😱 And those hair physics on Teia as she's swinging around?? Absolutely amazing.

Followed by Lucanis and.. is that Zara Renata (the character with the best name ever lol)?? Fighting over an ominous glowing staff. lol We know these two still had unfinished business with each other after the Wigmaker Job in TN.

Then we get our first in-game look of my man MANFRED (🎉🎉🎉🎉), proving yet again to be the most fashionable character in the whole game, using his pelvis effectively. lol I love him so much.

Then there's another terrifying shot of Giant Skeleton Monster, which almost looks like it's in command over the crowd of people here, like they're possessed or something? Uhg.. As if this thing wasn't scary enough. 💀

"Our gods are back. Our gods! How do we stand up against that?"

Again, CHILLLLS!! Chills all over. It's gonna be so interesting to hear what the Dalish, Bellara or Davrin think about all these revelations!

Then we see the Wardens again, confronting one of the super duper blighted "twin dragons" we see at the end (more on that later).

We see Neve using a barrier or something against a guy who wears the same armor as her, so maybe the Shadow Dragons are corrupted, too?

Then we see Rook dramatically tossing a sword on a table at Weisshaupt? And holy moly, Davrin in that new armor here looks FINE. 😍

Back in Treviso, we see a cool finishing move from Rook, obliterating a poor Venatori guy. That bow on Rook's back though (I need it)! :O

"I believe in all of us. So let's get it done."

That little pep talk from Rook certainly worked for me. lol Like, whatever it is we're doing here, I'm so pumped, let's gooooo!

Then we get literally a millisecond of a frame, where you can see Ghili lying on the floor.. with the lyrium dagger stuck IN HER CHEST??

EXCUSE ME?? They wouldn't just spoil her death like that, right?? lmao Also, that adds another billion questions about this damn flippin dagger and at this point the list of questions is getting so long that I've completely given up speculating. 😂💀 We see how Rook tries to retrieve(?) the dagger but the power it emanates pushes them back?? What the heeellll.

And then I died. No, really. lmaoo

What can I say.

I cried. I screamed. My soul left my body. It happened. We FINALLY saw him. The Dreaded Wolf, He Who Hunts Alone, Roamer of the Beyond, God of Rebellion. The one everyone's been talking about since flippin 2009. And by GOD, he lives up to his NAME.

He's dreadful, he's horrifying. He's a monster, a nightmare. He's perfect. And just like Solas, he's just a Little Guy and bald. 😭😭😭

...At least in comparison to this dragon!! Look at that friggin SIZE DIFFERENCE. Someone measured the size by comparing them to Rook, who we see for a split second before Fenny leaps in. So, make no mistake, Fen'Harel IS the size of a high dragon, like he was described in Tevinter Nights... It's just that this blighted dragon is HUMONGOUS. lol That dragon, let's call him Elgar'nan, because we all KNOW, right?? Who else could it POSSIBLY be?? He's got the horns, he's the dragon on the vinyl cover with the Blighted Black City, he's ENORMOUS!! I've been saying this forever. Fen'Harel vs Elgar'nan, Battle of Gods was all I ever wished to see and FUCK, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WISH CAME TRUE. 😭😭😭

And look WHERE they are fighting!! It's Minrathous, you can clearly see the floating building in the background!! Which means the Dread Wolf is OUT. He's no longer trapped, or in the Fade. Remember Sandal's prophecy "When he rises, everyone will see". And he HAS RISEN. lmao And look at the lighting!! It's the same dim, gloomy RED we've seen at the end of the reveal trailer with the eclipse. "AN ECLIPSE AS FEN'HAREL STIRRED". IT'S HAPPENING. Remember the 2020 teaser MURAL.

Is this the Black City or is it the floating building?? Either way, it's BLIGHTED. In the trailer, Minrathous has clearly been completely taken over by the Blight. "All the world will soon share the peace and comfort of my reign", that's what Elgar'nan said at the end of the 2023 teaser, and what better way to take over the world than to start with the biggest capital in Thedas, a nation which built their own empire over the ruins of Elvhenan, ruled by the most powerful mages!

And I am SO scared. You can see Elgar'nan snapping Fenny. The dragon is blighted, and maybe so is Fen'Harel. He's also clearly been through so much. "The Wolf chews his leg off to escape the trap.", is what Cole said in Trespasser. I don't think he always looked like that. In the murals and the 2022 cinematic, he has a lot more fur. And I can't help but think about the devs saying that Solas wasn't always bald either. lmao How are they connected.. are they one and the same.. are they bound to each other.. we still don't know. But I'm SO. F*CKING EXCITED. TO FIND OUT.

Those few seconds of this scene were breathtaking and whoever made this trailer knew exactly what they were doing, because the editing is so perfect as Fen'Harel charges at Elgar'nan in slow-motion and the music cuts out completely while that beautiful wolf howl can be heard and you can almost HEAR everyone's jaw dropping on the floor. lmao THAT's. how. you. do it. *standing ovation* *sobbing*

Okay. Breathe. Moving on. We gotta get to the end. lol

The very next shot is SO funny to me, because we literally just got to see Elgar'nan, the biggest flippin dragon we've ever seen in DA and it's followed by a shot in which Elgar'nan looks SO tiny next to Ghilan'nain. lmaooo

His ego doesn't allow to appear small though, I guess, so he f*cking levitates to top her in height. lmao These two ancient clowns are already killing me.

What's interesting though is that this is the exact same angle from which we left off in the gameplay showcase. And Solas is nowhere to be seen, so... did he literally just "poof" away right there into that Fade prison?? lmao

We get a quick montage of all the lovely monsters we will face. Like I mentioned, there's the Elgar'nan dragon taking a swim in the ocean, I guess? (I hope he drowns. lol) And a shot of what I think is Irelin (from TN and The Missing) doing.. something with some magical device. Someone fighting a magical "automaton" in the Arlathan Forest. lol Harding doing her THING again, acting like Toph from Avatar, literally bending the flippin earth, like a true Child of the Stone!!

And right before the end, there's one of my personal favorite shots, Rook basically bitch slapping a Pride demon into full K.O.?? lmao

The trailer ends with a final beautiful shot of Pokemon Ruby & Sapphire. lol No, seriously. A SUPER blighted pair of angry dragons, seemingly at the same snowy place that Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain popped up earlier in the trailer. 👀👀👀

So, they might have something to do with this? There was a dead dragon lying on the ground in an earlier shot, so maybe the elven gods revived them? If I see Blue and Red, I'm of course immediately reminded of lyrium.. whatever that means. Or, given that they seem to be attacking Grey Wardens in this place... maybe we are looking at an altered form of Archdemons?? Or something similar to Corypheus' dragon? 👀 There is an interesting theory floating around that Ghilan'nain might look like *that* because she somehow merged with her lover Andruil. As I mentioned in the beginning, Ghilan'nain seemed to have been struck by a spear or something.. and in this shot, you can see that the red dragon is pulling a spear out of its body! Sooo... maybe that actually IS her?? And she somehow transformed into two different blighted dragons, representing herself and Andruil??? The tinfoil hat is strong with this one. lol

ANYWAY. The release date is revealed to be 31st of October, making this the best Halloween of all time!! Not only is it perfect because of its origin, Samhain, the thinning of the Veil between the living and spirits.. But also because we all get a chance to dress up as Manfred, walk into the store, buy the game and then go Trick or Treat (but mostly trick) in the name of Fen'Harel, the Trickster God. 😂😂💜💜💜

And that's it!! Now we only have to wait two months before we can all lose our collective shi— NO WAIT, OF COURSE WE'RE NOT DONE YET.

WHAT THE HELL

IS THIS

EXCUSE ME, how do you throw this in there in the background at the very last second, HELLO??? A rocky object, split in half. HUH, WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THAT BEFORE.

Oh, you sneaky sneaky people. The mural depicting a Titan's death.... Remember the description of this place in DAI's files.

"A final eluvian is situated in a beautiful bolt-hole where Solas has painted murals. Fen'Harel was here and wanted to make sure nobody ever found what the other gods were doing. This place was the breaking point for him that turned him against the gods."

Whatever this is... I think it might be the very reason why all of this is even happening. The Evanuris mined the Titans' blood and "something else" before they collapsed and sealed the Deep Roads with stone and magic.

"Terror, heart-pounding, ice-cold, as the last of the spells is cast."

"What the Evanuris in their greed could unleash would end us all. Let this place be forgotten. Let no one wake its anger. The People must rise before their false gods destroy them all."

I'll leave it at that. I'm so so so flippin excited. I want to thank all the devs involved, I'm so full of joy and can't wait to finally return back to Thedas in October. 🥹🥹🥹 (And if anyone wants to get me that "Rook's coffer" collectibles thing for my birthday two days after release, my address is— naah just kidding!! ..or AM I?? 👀😂😂)!! 💜💜💜💜💜

[happypotato48]

I think it would be fun to highlight some changes wandee goodday made as an adaptation. so here a few notable things in no particular order.

I'm not going into spoiler territory, but even if i want to the book didn't had a lot of plot to begin with and i doubt the show will follow what gone down in the book without adding a lot to it.

In the book Wandee is 29 and Yak is 20. cause of the age gap their dynamic is slightly different than in the show. Yak called Dee Phi and he use Nong as 1th person pronoun with Dee.

the convenience store scene is where they first met in the book. there was no hospital visit at all. Dee legit was following a complete stranger and being unhinged for the first peice of man meat he can find.

Yak have more of a passive personality in the book. the book made a point that although he looks like a thug Yak is actually very soft spoken and polite. this + the age gap made it feels like Dee is the one in charge in their relationship.

there was no scholarship in the book. Dee asked Yak to be his fake bf solely for petty reason, people in the hospital were gossiping and he just don't want to be the loser who got rejected.

Ter didn't said "I only like girls" in the book and made it clear that he didn't wanted Dee because Dee was too boring for him.

Pakao is not a doctor who work at the same place as Dee. his sexuality was never stated and he barely shows up in the book.

Taemrak gender was never clearly stated in the book (in the thai version at least.) but it's heavily implied by their appearance description and Yak choice of pronouns that they're a boy. Taem same with Pakao in the book had zero characterization and mostly there just to be plot points than an actual characters.

I really loved what they've done with the show so far. and although i had fun with the book, i'm way more excited and invested in what going in the show. @shortpplfedup put it best "i read the novel and it is truly porn without plot"

[dullgecko]

Another "oops magic got the bad kids into a situation" for you to ponder.

They all get magically aged up by ~20 years, and it's mostly fine, but they're all a little concerned by the fact that Riz's main reactions are a sad little "Oh I look like my dad" and a genuinely surprised "Huh, didn't think I'd see myself at this age".

Adaine, Fabian and Fig really don't notice much of a difference. Sure Figs horns are longer and she has a tail but she looks almost exactly the same as the moment she became an archdevil. Fabian has a little more muscle mass and just a little extra height but twenty years to a half elf isn't all that much in the grand scheme of things. Adaine looks identical to how she was mere moments before, she's already past her teenage growth spurt so it's almost like time isn't able to touch her anymore.

They don't even realise what has happened until they see their other three party members.

Kristen just looks like an older, more matured version of herself. A few laugh lines around her eyes and longer hair but she still has an air of youth about her.

Gorgug and Riz have faired much worse. Gorgug had already been aged slightly by his brush with the ghosts their freshman year, his crows feet around his eyes are much deeper and the silver shock of hair takes up so much more than it did before. It's not bad, he just looks distinguished now. No more of the teenage gangly awkwardness he had before. Solidly middle aged and looks like he could be someones cool dad.

Twenty years for Riz is a much bigger deal. If he was human he'd say he looks almost fifty, though in reality he'd be pushing 36 at the most. He's older now than his dad was when he died and when he catches his reflection in a mirror he has to do a double take. He looks almost identicle to his father, though he doesnt have a moustache and his hair is styled slightly differently. Its eerie. Mostly because he never expected to ever see himself at this age.

[akirathedramaqueen]

Octavia's and Blitzø's potential relationship development

I believe that the show, despite Octavia openly hating Blitzø, gives us some hints that they have much more in common than it seems. I’ve noticed a couple of moments where Blitzø and Octavia are… pretty much in sync, if that makes sense.

Here are those moments I’ve noticed… maybe stretched in some places, but! Hear me out!

1. Here, they don’t hear each other, but both are repulsed by Stolas’s obnoxious language and express the same reaction. It’s funny that Stolas is the one calling them out.

[Blitzø]: WHAT [Octavia]: THE [Blitzø]: FUCK [Octavia]: DAD?! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 4:52

2. They also share a distaste for Stolas’s behavior throughout the episode, albeit in slightly different ways. In fact, this serves as a great demonstration of how deaf and blind Stolas is to obvious social cues at the beginning of the series—he doesn’t stop even when directly asked to do so on multiple occasions.

Blitzø is disgusted by Stolas’s awkward, overly sexual advances and demeaning language towards him and his work.

[Stolas]: You are so cute when you are serious! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 6:06

Octavia is taken aback by essentially the same. However, she blames both of them, understandably failing to recognize that Blitzø is just as uncomfortable as she is. From her perspective, Blitzø is a homewrecker who contributed to destroying her parents' marriage.

[Stolas]: You know, it's quite thrilling to see you on the job, Blitzy.[Blitzø]: Save it, bitch, I am working. [Octavia]: You both need to get a room. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 8:20

3. They share the hate for the same clown!

[Blitzø and Octavia]: I hate that fucking clown. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 8:50

4. They seem to have similar tastes in music! The song My World Is Burning Down Around Me, which Octavia plays to tune out Stella’s screaming, is also heard in Blitzø’s van when he comes to pick up Loona in the Queen Bee episode, although it’s only instrumental. Here, have a look. If, for some reason, the service with the timeframes isn’t working, I’ll also provide the timings in writing so you can check it yourself on YouTube.

Octavia turns on the song, and for a while, we can hear the lyrics before it fades into the background as the scene shifts to Stella yelling at Stolas and later to Stolas’s conversation with Octavia. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 2:52 - 3:50

The song’s instrumental version can be heard when Blitzø’s van arrives, and the background noise at Queen Bee’s club is different, so there’s no chance for misinterpretation. It is the music Blitzø’s was listening to. S1EP8, Queen Bee, 8:20 - 9:14

5. Haha, they freak out in the same way in the Seeing Stars episode! I know it’s probably just a stylistic choice to transition from Octavia’s initial experience with LA to Blitzø having to contact Stolas and explain what happened. However, I might be indulging in a bit of wishful thinking, suggesting that this similarity in their stress responses could have some deeper meaning.

S2EP2, Seeing Stars, 4:42

So-o... What am I trying to say with all these points I've made?

Like the kind of delulu who yells, "Ghostfuckers, save us!" (we know Viv, we know how trying to put our hopes up ends, haha), I draw a complete unhinged card and I am going to make a very bold claim:

I think that once Stolas and Blitzø finally get their shit and themselves back together, and Octavia realizes there’s much more to the story than, “Oh, it’s just horny dad cheated on my mum with a red lizard dickhead and my dad ruined my family,” Octavia could actually bond with Blitzø quite nicely, and he would make a good second dad to her! Well, don’t get me wrong. She might never want to take it to that level. Also, we don’t know how things will turn out, nor do we know her relationship with her mum, Stella.

But I do believe that their parallels were thrown in for a reason. Despite the circumstances, they can, and maybe will, be on much better terms than they currently are.

Go on, call me delusional and leave me be in my complete denial corner. <3 I admit I do tend to forget the current state of the Stolitz relationship in the series, as in my world, where I’m prioritizing my time working on that fic, they are finally together. I am bitter-sweetly excited that @tealvenetianmask and I are slowly but surely getting close to finishing it. :)

(Yes, yes, it was shameless self-promotion—sue me for the unlawful use of a speculatory-analytical post space to promote our version of Stolitz working hard to sort out their issues post Apology Tour and having some silly and horny fun along the way.)

[bestbouy]

i think i just love the idea of the different universes with their like, styles???

like how Gwen's is totally watercolor and Hobie's is all scrapbookish punk n newspaper, y'know???? and, of course, Miles and Pavitr's are both more "normal" but they still have that... you know... v i b e... they're both normal but they have elements that make it their own. Like how Pavitr's universe is mainly super warm colors?

anyways this got me thinking y'know how it's super obvious Hobie has a different universe style?? not so much for Gwen because hers is a little different, but with the whole. changing skin, the OUTLINE, it's very obvious

I think it'd be super cool if in Hobie's universe, it's kind of like the opposite for anybody who's not from it? They have their own like, radius of... their own dimension???

I'm only comparing this to Hobie's dimension, it's very obvious none of this would happen in CANON so I'm literally just spitballing. Also because Hobie is the only one with the outline and funny overlay thing, and it'd be fun to play around with the other three's possible like,,, vibe!!

Gwen would leave like, imprints of watercolor? like dabbing it on a piece of paper, leaving color that dries out back to normal over time?? it would bleed into the world around her, it might even mimic her emotions with the color!

If she was upset it would be harsh, spread more, it would come out in spiked reds and blacks?

happy would seep in a lot more subtly, and cover a lot more space, but you wouldn't realize how much room it's taking up just because it's so slow to take it up and really is only at about.. idk, 20% opacity, slowly builds up the happier she gets? it would be more visible in puddles, just like with normal watercolor (Compared to anger, which would be very in-your-face and obvious)

It would rely a lot on her emotions, methinks, the stronger they are, the more visible the color!

Miles would have a sketchy, drawing-like atmosphere to him, kind of like what you can see on the spot y'know? and, since the spot came from Miles' dimension, I think it makes sense!

It would be less noticeable, but the things he interacts with would probably turn into a slightly stylized version of itself? A cup he holds or drinks from wouldn't change DRAMATICALLY, but it might copy his look and have sketch-like lines around it. Nothing huge, but enough that you can tell what he's touched in the past few minutes/hours

Pavitr would have a similar vibe to Gwen's, but with warm colors instead! His effect wouldn't change with emotions like hers, but it would probably bleed in the same way as hers. He would leave behind trails of warm oranges and yellows wherever he goes and leaving it behind on what he touches. He wouldn't notice this, but it would be veeery obvious to Hobie or anybody from his dimension.

Actually, I think the way that we can spot Hobie because of his differences in outline/radius effect would highly apply to them in his dimension! Everybody in Hobie's world can CLEARLY tell that Gwen, Miles and Pav aren't from there, and while the common person might not recognize they're from another universe, they might get the same feeling as if you were seeing like.. a skinwalker, or something. They're human, but it doesn't feel like it.

ANYWAYS back to Pavitr

He has a warm, cozy vibe, I think unlike the others his can seep more into emotions, I think he's an empathetic person and that melts into his little area effect. if he's super happy or excited about something the people around him get a tiny bit happier too!! when he's sad (and it's rly hard to make him sad bc this boy is POSITIVE THINKER #1) his colors get a bit colder, but I don't think they would affect other people like his happy ones do, honestly just SEEING such a normally happy guy so sad would do enough to ur mood than some radius effect lol

ANYWAYS that's just a lil thought. they are silly. and this is going into my ideas folder. have a good one n remember to drink water

(I would go on but this is super long already XD)

[lyzelky]

I recently received a request for my tiefling headcanons, (also mentioned in this comic) so I put together a ramshackle biology guide for them. It's not 100% faithful to DnD or BG3 lore, but I borrowed enough from them that it's pretty interchangeable.

IMPORTANT: I tried to keep most things as clinical as possible to avoid Tumblr-geddon, but anything vaguely NSFW in the comic has is written in pink text for your convenience.

((CW: Clinical (Non-Graphic) descriptions of Heat/Rut cycles, menstruation, no A/B/O)) I'm also going to copy over all the text from the panels into text format on here so y'all can just read them if you want.

Text version below!

INFERNAL TRAITS

Tieflings possess a variety of features that hearken back to the Hellish influence in their bloodline. Often these traits are animalistic in nature, though in extreme cases may appear more akin to aberrations.

Common features include glowing eyes, horns, clawed fingers and toes, and tails.

Tieflings are inclined to be left handed or ambidextrous.

Less common traits include hooves, paws, or talons for feet, wing like appendages, goat-like ears, a forked tongue, etc.

A Protruding Brow ridge and cheekbones are more common among males. They are considered attractive by some and less so by others, and it seems to crop up in those who are closer to their Infernal sire (I.e, the direct child of a cambion).

Tieflings possess raised ridges on various parts of their body. They can range from boney and firm to soft and fleshy, with the intensity and abundance of ridges varying per individual.

EYE VARIATIONS

The eyes of a tiefling born to two tieflings will almost always have infernal coloring. In this regard, the scelera should be jet black and glossy, and the iris vibrant and produce a strong glow.

The eyes of a tiefling born to humans can either have infernal or mundane coloration. The pupil is usually oblong, but other shapes have been known to occur.

A child born to one tiefling and one human has an equal chance of inheriting either trait.

In both cases, the pupil functions like a cat’s would; narrowing in bright light, and dilating in darkness or while in a state of heightened emotion.

TEETH VARIATIONS

Male tieflings typically have longer fangs than Females. Males are are considered to be more attractive the longer their fangs are.

This attraction is perhaps more hardwired than cultural, as most female (and some male) tieflings are on the receiving end of a bite during their heat.

It is not uncommon to see some tieflings with filed teeth, especially in places where discrimination is common.

TAIL VARIATIONS

The shape of The tail tip (Often referred to as a ‘spade’) manifests in a variety of forms, with some sporting tufts of hair or even fins.

Tiefling Parents might take their newborn to a fortune teller to predict their child’s lifeline based on the spade and other distinctive features. (Longer tail = Longer life, Thin Tail = Weak Constitution, etc.)

Long tails are typically seen as more attractive, but it’s usually down to a matter of preference.

Although their tails are not prehensile, having a dexterous tail is often seen as a sign that someone is more skilled in bed.

REPRODUCTIVE CYCLE

Like humans, tieflings endure a 9-month gestation period, and all other developmental markers remain the same despite most tieflings living upwards of 200 years.

Tieflings differ slightly in regards to ovulation and fertility. Unlike humans, tieflings will experience either a heat or a rut that is the primary driver of their breeding cycle.

Females typically experience their first heat at around 16-18, with males experiencing their first rut at around 18-20.

Unlike a human menstruation cycle, females will go into heat every 2-3 months for 1-2 days at a time, after which menstruation will last for about 4 days.

A rut occurs at roughly the same frequency, but can be triggered early by heat pheromones.

Many tieflings use potions, herbs, or magic items to mitigate their heat/rut cycle, but long term usage is not advised.

During this period, the afflicted experiences heightened arousal and an instinctual urge to breed. Fertility is increased during this period.

Increased production of pheromones signals potential mates that one has entered heat/rut.

Scent glands along the hips, jawline, tail and neck become highly sensitive.

“Tail flagging” may occur, in which the tail lifts and inches over to the side to provide “easier access”.

Heat and Rut Symptoms

A tiefling usually experiences a variety of symptoms in the days leading up to their heat or rut. Primarily the afflicted will notice:

- Increased Fatigue

- Increased body temperature

- Increase in appetite/thirst

- Increased sensitivity to olfactory and tactile senses.

- Mood swings that include irritability, aggression, and anxiety, especially if in an unfamiliar or dangerous location.

Those in heat often feel the urge to retreat to someplace familiar and safe, and often engage in “nest-making” behavior.

This consists of surrounding one’s self in paraphernalia associated with loved ones (Often clothes, pillows or bed linens). A partner will often assist in prepping the nest and gifting appropriate items in a show of support and affection.

Those in rut without a partner tend to withdraw into a solitary location, and often experience bouts of aggression and irritability.

Those with a partner often become exceedingly territorial or possessive, especially if said partner is in heat or is pregnant.

When seeking out a partner, gifts may be given as a show one is a good provider; this is more of a ceremonial practice than a biological one. Gifts often include jewelry, fine clothing, rare artifacts etc.

That's all for now! Let me know if you liked it or not or want more. Feel free to use this stuff for your own stories/fanfics/art whatever, but I'd appreciate if you linked back to this post or my blog if you do. Thanks!

[suusoh]

i wanna know what’s your theory on what happened to johan after the ending since it’s up to the audiences imagination yk?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING MY THOUGHTS ON THIS ANON! I give you kiss ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ I'm going to diverge more on headcanons of him in another post. These are just my nonsensical interpretations of Johan after monster.

(tw: talks of multiple suicide attempts (all failed though don't worry))

Another anon of mine sent another similar ask (will post said ask shortly as it dwelves more into the x reader aspects hehe) gave the description of post-monster/ post-rurenheim johan as "a juxtaposition to his regular omnipotent self" which is a 1000% perfect way on how I'd describe him post-monster/post-rurenheim.

I really do believe that although he still has a prowess for manipulation skills and psychology after monster, he wouldn't have as much charisma as before. Part of his godly charisma came from the fact that he himself has no identity so he can fine tune himself to anyone (presenting himself with such a pleasing expression and personality, his agreeability with some would come from his own lack of personall thoughts). But now that he's got his own individuality and a name, he wouldn't bother with being agreeable anymore, as it isn't as natural for him anymore.

It's kind of why he doesn't even bother keeping a soft smile anymore at the end of monster when he was confronting dr tenma. He's not trying to be approachable anymore, and instead opts to actually showing how he's feeling rn. Instead of just using a pleasant expression as a placeholder on his face. I mean just look at the stark difference:

All the trauma and stress has finally catched up to him and has even taken a PHYSICAL toll on his body as well. I haven't noticed it before as I thought it was just an art style, but you can can notice that over time after he uncovers his past since the library, his face actually starts growing eye bags

like he is TIRED. He cannot do this anymore, he's burnt out. Which is the number one characterization I would give him post-monster.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE when he is interpreted as still having that small serene smile on his face and living his life calmly after monster. I subscribe to that characterization and would write him like that too, especially if we're going to interpret it as it being second nature or muscle memory for him to have that politeness. —It's just another part of me loves the idea that him being slightly rude and unapproachable even. A part of his reclaiming of his own humanity, is him not keeping up appearances anymore. He doesn't need to keep up politeness and being friendly anymore.

Another thing I can see him doing for a while is actually being quite... listless? If that makes sense. Like he would just do a good solid nothing for a while. Walk around in parks and other places trying to take in the world around him again. Trying to grasp life after losing his inner monster/kinderheim programming/fucked up coping mechanism.

He might try bars now and other social gatherings to see the hype and try to feel something. But maybe it just makes him feel all the more alienated and detached from society. Imagine being surrounded by so much people but still feel so alone. He'd feel all the more disconnected from humanity.

--- talks of suicide start here ---

Kind of dark here but I think this might lead him to trying to attempt at ending his life again. He sees it so pointless now and his entire focal point has been shattered

He knows him and his sister aren't the same people anymore, he knows that he doesn't have to keep living his life as her shadow/half a person/the "worse" version of her. But man... after 20+ years of living like that it's really gonna hit once you realise that you can't do your sole life goal anymore...

His despair might come in the form of him genuinely not knowing how to live. Throughout monster it kinda felt like he was on autopilot, his own individuality and sense of self taking a backseat. So imagine out of nowhere the plane's crashing and you're suddenly put in the driver's seat all of a sudden when, you didn't even bother learning how to drive or fly this thing in the first place because 1.) You were convinced you didn't need to drive ever, you were forcefully stuffed in the plane's cargo by adults who traumatized you, 2.) You didn't even know you'd be flying this long.

(sorry for the plane analogy i'm just rambling my raw thoughts 💀 but yes man is lowkey crashing and burning)

If we're gonna put it in a smaller more related level, imagine your entire life you grew up trained to be like...like an archaeologist or something, like your childhood bedroom had archaeology stuff, you were raised to study archaeology and only archaeology, you excelled at it, you had the gear for archaeology, you're in college studying archaeology and even having a specific vision in your mind of you being an archaeologist....the only thoughts you grew up with is you and archaeology.

Only to find out from nowhere that you never actually were into archaeology. And that you liking archaeology (aka your hobby/interest, your entire IDENTITY) was conditioned and instilled into you by weird freaky scientists when you were a child. You find out that you actually had a personality BEFORE archaelogy, and now you're 20 and you've spent more than a decade of your life dedicated to archaeology only to find out that maybe this whole time archaeology isn't even a thing you liked in the first place.

yeah that's basically the library revelation. HAFHDJAH archaeology being his "monster".

And now you're wandering through life, that isn't about you being an archaeologist..... OF COURSE YOU'D FUCKING DESPAIR. What are you even supposed to do now????

But funnily enough, Naoki Urusawa says that monster is actually a dark comedy in his eyes (Lmaooo just as I thought. I was giggling watching monster), so in true shakespearean tragic-comedy fashion, Johan's attempt here might become a fail. Divine intervention if you will.

But worry not friends, as this suicide attempt of his was made when his monster was gone, where his coolness and emotional detachment are also gone. So I think him doing a suicide attempt post-monster might actually, in some miraculous roundabout way.... scare him a bit for the first time.

I think the scene/poem "The View from Halfway Down" from "Bojack Horseman" is the best way to describe how I see he'll start feeling things.

He'd wonder why his heart is beating suddenly and why a cold sweat is forming on his face and on his palms, and why his breathing is out of control. He's confused as hell as to why his adrenaline spiked up. He walked on the ledges of rooftops, the number of times he's had guns pointed at him is more than the fingers on his hands, he died twice for goodness sakes. So why?...why is he feeling this all of a sudden? he'd start to grow a bit frustrated because this doesn't. make. sense.

If we're still gonna go with the dark comedy route, we could write him as him trying and trying again to off himself💀i'm so sorry. I'm just rolling with Urusawa's vision here of him saying monster is a dark comedy. Each time Johan attempts with ending his life, it would just fail.

But if he got spooked off on his first suicide attempt post-monster, he'd probably stop after that one. Not because he wants to keep living, but because his stupid (incredible) brain chemicals keep making his body hesitate to off himself.

He'd be pissed at his own fear. I could see him actually almost tearing up in frustration at what's happening. He's never had to deal with shit like this before, he never hesitated, he never had to feel fear, hell— he didn't even have to LIVE before. He wasn't actually living during his time as "Johan Liebert". He didn't get the same agency to fully explore and navigate his own life in his own time like every other human being. He doesn't want to try. He just wants to end himself— and he can't even do that anymore. He's so frustrated, and pissed, and he's honestly just so... lost.

Buuuut! To quote Tom Hanks from "Castaway":

I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail."

He'd then sigh softly and shake his head...maybe let out a small sardonic laugh. Ah, how fate really does love to mess with him. Some higher being out there is really taking the piss with him, wasn't it? Because maybe.... just maybe. He kind of realises that Dr. Tenma and Nina were right.

I think this is the point where he'd kinda like.... cancel out nihilism WITH nihilism.

" I found everything pointless... until I realised even that was pointless" kinda vibe

Hope this satisfied your question anon! My thoughts are not organized here so pardon :)! Also please excuse if my tone in the more serious parts sounds a bit too light.

Thank you for reading and and asking me anon! ˘ ³ ˘ mwuah!!

[doctorwenqing]

Chiss Fan Survey 2023

Here's the results of the Chiss fan survey for this year! We had a huge turnout, with 464 responses! Here's a link to the slide deck if that's more accessible for you.

First some demographics: most people surveyed came from Twitter but we also had a pretty good turnout from Tumblr this year!

The majority of people surveyed still came from the United States, but we also had some new countries make it on the map this year.

Most people fell within the 18-34 age range.

As always, I love how Thrawn attracts the autistic audience. Interestingly, the same percentage of people said they’re neurodivergent this year as did last year, but the proportion of them that are autistic grew by about 7%.

Again just a disclaimer that these results are not necessarily representative of the overall Thrawn fan community as I reach a very specific demographic, but over half of the people surveyed are women and almost a third are non-binary. 20% identify as transgender.

About a third of people surveyed are bisexual or pansexual.

Another thing I love is how many people in the community fall under the asexual and aromantic umbrellas. Asexuality is the second most common sexuality reported on this survey.

There’s about 8% fewer single people and 4% more married people than last year so congratulations!

A new question this year is how people's partners feel about Star Wars. For most, it seems they’re the bigger Star Wars fan between them and their partner(s)

Moving on to the actual Thrawn questions, the majority of people surveyed got into Thrawn around 2020.

The spikes on the read/watch order graph show the most popular reading/watch order, so Rebels> Thrawn> Alliances> Treason> Chaos Rising> Greater Good> Lesser Evil> Ahsoka.

Most people had seen Star Wars Rebels and read at least Thrawn (2017).

Over half of people surveyed have read Heir to the Empire, and overall more people report reading Legends than in last year’s survey.

To get the book ranking, I gave each book an average rank based on people's votes and ordered them that way. Thrawn 2017 was by far the most popular of the books.

The most popular choice for a new book book was an "Eli Vanto in the Ascendancy" book.

Despite Ahsoka filling in what happened after Rebels, the percentage of people who are interested in a Thrawn and Ezra Post-Rebels story has not decreased and has in fact increased slightly.

The love for Thranto is very apparent in the ship portion of the survey.

There’s also a good percentage of people who don’t ship Thrawn with anyone, and then OC or selfships are also somewhat popular.

I included a reminder as to what the Thrawn Designs options were. Ascendancy Thrawn was far and away the most popular design for Thrawn. People also liked the 2018 comic version. Least popular was the Heir to the Empire comic design.

Despite what people may have expected, overall Chiss fans were happy with Live Action Thrawn.

In particular, they liked the casting and the dialogue. The most disliked bits were Thrawn’s storyline and inconsistencies with the books.

I also need it to be noted that more than one person wrote in that they liked “how cunty" live action Thrawn was.

Thrawn fans get involved in several different ways

Almost a third have made Thrawn art and 40% wrote something.

Several people went to the Chiss fan meetup this year.

60% of people bought something Thrawn related.

Books was the top item purchased, with over half of people who bought something buying at least one book and most buying several books.

Comics were also popular with the reprinting of the 2018 comic.

Please let me know if you have any questions or would like me to cross-analyze anything!

[homestuckreplay]

Webcomic 'Homestuck' Canceled For Promoting Bad Password Security

(page 456-459)

8/10/2009 Wheel Spin: Parent Bad :( Verdict: INCORRECT

8/11/2009 Wheel Spin: being silly :3c Verdict: CORRECT, but behind at least 10 layers of irony

In the far future, somebody might call this update a time capsule of the 2000s. If computers change significantly, or something. page 456 comments on Dave's bro's computer being password protected, suggesting that this isn't a cultural norm - the newly-released Windows 7 still doesn't require user accounts to have a password. In Homestuck, the password is used to protect 'incredible top secret shit,' so password protecting a personal home computer might be associated with shadier online behavior.

Bro's password is six characters, and is 'the most awesome thing it can be' according to Dave and his bro, so it's probably lilcal. (It could also be puppet, but personally my passwords are always specific characters, song titles etc, not general concepts. I don't know if other people are different. for what it's worth lilcal is also a slightly more secure password than puppet which is A SINGULAR DICTIONARY WORD). Bro also trusts Dave with his password - either because he doesn't think Dave will do anything to mess up his computer, or because he's daring Dave to use it, similar to leaving the Xbox switched on mid-game.

On page 457 we see Bro's desktop, which we can compare to Dave's desktop on page 323. They both have wallpapers from And It Don't Stop, showing us a chain of game recommendations from Bro -> Dave -> John. Dave, like Rose and John, has some character in the names of his desktop folders, while his bro has seven identically named New Folders scattered around the screen. This adds to the sense that Bro is paranoid about people looking at his computer - he's purposefully making it impossible to navigate. The hidden-identity hat and dark glasses iconography on the password entry screen has the same effect.

Bro also has a program called Delirious Biznasty, which has a rad skater dude for its icon. This could be a web browser, but I think it's more likely some kind of torrenting application, I think that'd fit his vibe. The web browsers we know are Typheus, Cetus and Hephaestus, which are all Greek mythological references with cartoon-styled icons, and Delirious Biznasty doesn't fit the pattern. Based on Dave's relationship to his bro, Bro probably uses Hephaestus too and just doesn't have a desktop shortcut.

Dave and his bro both use the Complete Bullshit content aggregator, which we are forced to witness on pages 458 and 459. Content aggregators are pretty common customizable feeds that people use to keep up with a lot of websites at once, when checking 20+ separate sites a day gets too time consuming. RSS readers are a common form of this that can host a lot of different types of content, but there are also aggregators specifically for webcomics. These are controversial - they're generally well intentioned projects made for free by webcomic fans who want to check for updates easily and keep up with a lot of stories, and want to help other fans do the same. However, they can redirect traffic away from actual sites that host webcomics, meaning that independent webcomic artists might miss out on ad revenue or merch sales, or are less likely to sell ads because their sites don't look as well-trafficked as they are. I don't know if Andrew Hussie has a strong opinion on comics aggregators, but it's possible this terrible to use, unstable and unreadable version is a criticism of the concept.

Complete Bullshit also feels like Dave's bro's equivalent of Serious Business, as they're both digital programs with adjective-noun titles. I wonder if Rose's mom will get her own software.

It's sweet that Bro keeps up with Dave's projects, including Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff and his GameBro review blog. It shows that their relationship isn't 100% one sided, Bro cares for Dave and/or thinks he's cool at least a little bit. It's also fun that Dave is checking to see if his own webcomic has updated, which could be bad memory due to having a lot of projects on the go, or could be Dave checking to make sure his update has gone through and posted successfully. Very reasonable, as it must be a challenge to upload such high quality images.

I will probably make a post digging into Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff at some point, but I'm still peeling the onion of its irony right now so I'll just say: when exactly did Dave find the time to make these comics?

[sequinsmile-x]

Some Things Are Meant to Be - Part 3

She freezes at the sound of the voice she hadn’t heard in years, her shoulders tight as she turns, her jaw clenched as their eyes meet, a face she hadn’t seen in two decades staring right back at her.

A sequel to Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too

Part 3/3

Part 1 -x- Part 2

-x-

Hi friends,

Sorry for the slight wait on the final part of this!

I really hope you like this...there are a LOT of mommy issues because I got carried away as usual.

Please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: None

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

It feels like she’s stepped back in time. 

The house looks the same, as if it hadn’t been 20 years since she’d last been here. She’d never liked being here. It had never felt like home even though it was the closest she’d ever had to one before she lived with Aaron. It was the ‘home base’, the place where she and her parents would come back to after months away, usually only for a month or two at most. It was a house, but it had never been a home. 

She hated it. Hated what it represented, what she could have had if her parents were different. What she was giving her girls and what she’d spend her entire life protecting so they knew they were loved. 

She blows out a shuddering breath and she jumps a little when she feels Aaron wrap his hand around hers. Her smile falters when she turns to look at him, a shake to it that he wasn’t used to. 

“We can just go home,” he offers, lifting their joint hands and pressing a kiss to her knuckles, “We can just turn around and go home, pretend this never happened.” 

She loves him for suggesting it, for loving her enough to suggest it. She leans in and stamps a kiss on his lips, lingering for a moment before she rests her forehead against his, “That’s sweet but I have to know what they want.” 

He knew her well enough to know it would drive her crazy if she never found out, if she simply ignored the email her mother had sent a week ago. It already had been driving her crazy. She hadn’t been herself this week, had been more irritable than usual - short-tempered with anyone other than him and the girls. He knew the girls had noticed it too. Evelyn was on her best behaviour, any usual teenage angst nowhere to be found, concern in her dark eyes whenever she looked at her mother. Hazel and Mae understood less of what was going on, but they were sticking closer to Emily even more than usual, demanding her love and attention at any given moment. 

Emily hesitates as she reaches for the doorbell, blowing out a steady breath before she presses it. Aaron watches as her armour goes up. Thick, almost impenetrable walls he hadn’t seen in years as a fake smile spreads across her face when the front door opens. It’s the version of her he met all those years ago. 

The version he’d fallen in love with in this very house. 

“Miss Emily,” the housekeeper says as she smiles, pulling the door open so they can step into the house, “It’s been a long time.” 

“Hi Vanessa,” she says, smiling tightly, “It’s nice to see you,” she adds, looking around the foyer, wondering how nothing had changed, “Are they…”

“The ambassadors are in the formal living room,” Vanessa says, her smile getting slightly brighter when she looks at Aaron, an edge of I knew it curved into its corners, “Nice to see you again Agent Hotchner.” 

Aaron clears his throat, hiding a smile he worries isn’t appropriate, and nods, “You too, Vanessa.” 

Vanessa waves them through and Emily blows out a slow breath as they walk slowly through the house. She squeezes her husband's hand and lowers her voice, purposely talking quietly so they aren’t overheard. 

“Is it just me or does it seem exactly the same?” 

“Not just you, sweetheart,” he assures her, “It’s like a time capsule,” he says, winking at her when he turns to look at her, desperate to try to ease some of the tension he can sense in her, “Might even find our old make-out spots.” 

She chuckles and smiles gratefully at him but any further conversation is cut off as they walk into the living room. For a moment she doesn’t feel like the confident 43-year-old she is, instead she feels like she’s 23 again and just about to be cut off by the people sitting in front of her. 

“Mom,” she says, briefly looking at her mother before she looks at her father. John Prentiss hadn’t aged as well as Elizabeth had, and it made Emily realise just how much of each other's lives they’d missed.  “Dad.” 

She sits down before either one of them can attempt to hug her, the forced nature of it too much for her to handle. Aaron follows her lead and sits next to her, his thigh pressed against hers as their joint hands fall into her lap. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to have company.”

Emily narrows her eyes at her mother and swallows thickly, “Aaron is my husband,” she says, her gaze unrelenting, “He has been for a long time.”

“How long have you been married?” John asks, genuine interest in his voice that Emily doesn’t think he deserves. 

“17 years,” Aaron answers when she doesn’t, his grip on her hand firm as she looks at the ground, her stomach bubbling over with anxiety and anger she can’t control. 

“That’s a long-”

“Why are we here?” Emily asks, her head snapping up as she looks at them, “You want something. You didn’t ask me to come here just to pass the time of day,” she says, staring them down, “What do you want?” 

Elizabeth and John look at each other and Emily watches as they have a silent conversation. She’d sat opposite them countless times before in moments like this when she’d been in trouble as a child or as a teenager. Eventually, they turn to look at her, and Elizabeth folds her hands in her lap. 

“It’s about your daughter.” 

Emily sighs and closes her eyes, shaking her head as she bites back a knowing laugh. “Which one?” She gets a sense of satisfaction at the shock that crosses over both of her parent’s faces when she asks the question she already knows the answer to, “We have three.” 

She watches as her mother controls her reaction, her lips pressed together before she continues, the tension in the room increasing with each passing second. 

“Obviously, we mean the one I saw you with since we didn’t know you had more than one,” she says tightly, “I asked around,” Elizabeth says, a smile that had a little too much pride in it for Emily’s liking spreading across her face, “Evelyn apparently shows a real aptitude for politics. Given our connections, we could help her get ahead. She may not have the Prentiss name but she has the talent.”

It’s exactly why Emily thought her mother had reached out to her, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. The confirmation stinging deep in her gut as she realises neither of her parents had even asked about their other granddaughters. They hadn’t sought out any other information beyond the fact they existed. She chokes on a humourless laugh and shakes her head as she stands up, turning her back on her parents for a moment as she takes a breath. Aaron reaches for her hand and she squeezes it before she turns back.

“Hazel and Mae.” 

Elizabeth frowns at her, “What-”

“Our other kids,” she says, staring at them, 20 years of pent-up fury coming to a boil in her stomach, “Their names are Hazel and Mae. Not that you asked. But those are their names.” 

John sighs, “Emily, wait a second-”

“Hazel is so good at drawing. She has been ever since she could pick up a crayon,” she says, cutting her father off, her hand tight around Aaron’s who is now also standing next to her, “She’s 10. It’s crazy how good she is, and a little scary because I look at the stuff she brings home from school and I can only imagine what she’ll be capable of when she’s older,” she adds, unable to stop now she’d started, wanting them to feel nothing other than shame that they’d missed out on everything because of their own short-sightedness, “And Mae, she’s 5 and she’s so caring. If any of the other kids fall over at recess she’s there with them before the teacher is, trying to cheer them up and make them feel better,” her chest heaves and she shakes her head, “Do they deserve your attention too? Or is your desire to know Evelyn borne out of nothing more than the fact she’s what you wish I’d been.” 

“Emily, you’re being sensitive-”

“I’m not…I’m not doing this. You are not doing this. We can all go back to the way things were a week ago,” Emily says, shaking her head, “I am not letting you have anything to do with them.” 

Elizabeth sighs and shakes her head, “First you walk away from all the opportunities we could have given you for a man,” she says, her eyes flicking to Aaron, “And now you’re refusing to allow your own daughter to have them because of your own stubbornness.” 

Aaron feels a wave of protectiveness wash over him, pushing him forward as he stands in front of his wife, his jaw tight, “You can’t talk to her like that.” 

“Aaron,” Emily says, placing her hand on his chest, shaking her head ever so slightly so only he can see, “It’s okay,” she waits for him to nod, although he doesn’t step back, and then she turns back to Elizabeth, “I am making the decision I think is right for my daughter. If she wants to do anything different when she turns 18 that’s her call, but for now, I get to decide what I protect her from - and that includes you.”

John scoffs and shakes his head, “20 years and you haven’t changed a bit.”

“I have changed, Dad,” she says, pressing her lips together, “I am an excellent FBI agent. I am a wife and a mother and I like to think I’m pretty good at that too,” she bites the inside of her cheek, unsure whether to say what she wants to next, but deciding that she should, well aware this would likely be the last time she’d speak to them if she had anything to do with it, “And for the record, I didn’t walk away for a man. I did it for me. That would have been true whether Aaron and I worked out or not,” she swallows thickly and turns to look at Aaron, “We should go.” 

Elizabeth stands up, “Now, Emily, we just want a moment to discuss this.” 

She looks back at her mother and shakes her head, “You’re about 20 years too late to discuss my life with me,” she looks at Aaron again, “Can we go?” 

He nods and places his hand on her lower back as he starts to lead her out of the house. He casts a glance back over his shoulder at his in-laws, the people who had deemed him not good enough for the woman he loved, and he throws them a small nod, something he hopes they take as an assurance he’d look after her. Just like he always had. 

Emily doesn’t say anything as they get in the car, her jaw clenched and tight as she clips her seatbelt into place. He reaches over the centre console and places his hand on her knee, squeezing tightly. 

“Em-”

“They didn’t even really want to see me,” she says, shaking her head as she wipes a tear from her cheek, “If I’d walked into her alone…” she drifts off and clears her throat as she looks out of the window, “Can we just go home, please?” 

He stares at her side profile for a moment and he leans in and kisses her temple before he starts the engine, “Whatever you want, sweetheart.” 

___

December 1999

Emily hums a nursery rhyme as she paces the living room, her lips against her daughter’s forehead as she tries to get her off to sleep. She groans as she tilts her head to look at Evelyn and sees she’s still awake, the four-week-olds dark eyes still wide open as she snuggles against her mother’s chest. 

“Come on, sweet girl,” she says, rubbing circles on the baby’s back, “Please go to sleep.” 

“She wants to see in the new millennium.”  

She smiles as she turns to look at her husband, raising an eyebrow as he walks towards them, placing a bottle of sparkling cider and two champagne flutes on the coffee table as he makes it to their side. The television was on, but the sound was off, the celebrations in Times Square up on the screen for them to barely pay attention to. 

“You can drink actual champagne, you know,” she says, stamping her lips against his before she can continue to pace, knowing Evelyn would never fall asleep if she stood still for too long, “Just because I’m Evie’s personal dairy cow doesn’t mean you can’t ring in the new year without real alcohol.” 

“It wouldn’t feel right, sweetheart,” he says, leaning back against the couch, his arms crossed as he watches his two favourite people in the world, “Plus, I think I can still feel last year's hangover.” 

She laughs, something she has to hold back when she remembers she still has her daughter resisting sleep on her chest. They’d spent last New Year out with their friends, drunk a lot of champagne and then came home and had a lot of sex. 

Sex that she is almost positive led to the tiny baby in her arms.

“Same,” she says, resting her cheek on top of Evelyn’s head, “It had the best outcome though.” 

He walks over and wraps his arms around them both, “The absolute best,” he says, kissing her forehead, “Want me to take her for a while?” 

Emily nods and kisses Evelyn’s head before she lets him take her out of her arms, overcome with the usual mix of joy at seeing them together and the desire to snatch her baby back into her embrace. Moments like this inevitably made her think of her parents. She tried to imagine them in the early stages of parenthood, of the long seemingly endless days of having a newborn. She wished she could picture them like this, trading off holding her as they tried to get her off to sleep late at night, but she couldn’t. 

She thought she’d miss them. That the six years she’d gone without having her parents in her life would disappear and she’d suddenly feel like she was right at the start again, that being a new parent would unlock some deep-seated, primal, need in her to have them back. 

But it hadn’t. Her family was small, just the three of them for now, but she loved it. She didn’t feel like she was missing anything. 

“There we go,” Aaron says, his voice soft as he pulls her out of her train of thought, a smile on his face that edged on smug as he turns to show her that Evelyn is fast asleep. 

“Daddy’s girl,” Emily scoffs, although they both know there is no malice behind it, and she walks over stroking her knuckles down her daughter’s soft cheek, her breath catching in her chest as she does so. “She’s so perfect,” she says, her eyes filling with tears she still wasn’t used to as she looks up at him, “How did we make something so perfect?”

Aaron smiles and adjusts his hold on Evelyn and wraps his arm around his wife, pulling her close and kissing her temple, “Because you’re perfect.”

She chuckles and shakes her head, pressing her face into his shoulder as she turns to look at Evelyn, “Daddy is ridiculous, sweet girl,” she says quietly, not wanting to wake her, “But we love him anyway.” She teases, and he shakes his head and looks at the television and sees the ball drop and he encourages Emily to look. They both smile and she leans in to kiss him, “Happy New Year, honey.” 

He smiles as he pulls back, “Happy New Year.”

___

The girls are all over her when they get home. 

Hazel brings her a drawing she’s done, a proud smile on her face as she climbs in her lap as Emily looks over it. She holds the 10-year-old close as she points out who is who in the family portrait she’d drawn, although it’s clear enough that Emily doesn’t need the direction. She already knows she’s going to take it to work and frame it, place it on her desk to look at it every time she has a hard day and needs reminding of all the good things she had in the world. 

Mae sticks close by too, glued to her mother’s side until Aaron takes her to bed, her small hands on Emily’s cheeks as she pokes at her dimples to make her smile. Emily can hear her giggling upstairs, and she knows there is no doubt that the 5-year-old is conning Aaron into at least one bedtime story. 

She sighs to herself and she’s just about to go to the kitchen, a bottle of wine in the fridge with her name on it, but she’s stopped as Evelyn walks into the living room, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. 

“Are you okay Evie?”

The teenager shrugs and then sighs when Emily pats the couch cushion next to her. She walks over and flops down onto the couch, her legs tucked under herself as she faces Emily. 

“Did you go and see your mom and dad today?”

Emily’s eyebrow shoot up her face before she can stop them and she chokes on a laugh at the unexpected question. She loved that her daughters were smart, that they’d always been ahead of the curve when it came to their peers, but for once, just once, she wished Evelyn wasn’t as perceptive. 

“Why…” she clears her throat, “Why do you think we did that?” 

Evelyn rolls her eyes, “Because we walked into your mom a week ago and you’ve been acting all weird ever since,” she says, twisting some of her hair in between her fingers, “And you seem…I don’t know…sad.” 

Emily sighs and she reaches out to place her hand on Evelyn’s arm. She never lied to her daughters, not beyond the Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy lies every parent told, and she wasn’t going to start now. 

“Yes,” she says, squeezing her daughter’s arm, “We went to see them.” 

The corner of Evelyn’s lips twitch, a sarcastic smile Aaron said was all her looking back at her, “I’m guessing because of the pizza we had for dinner and Dad’s over-the-top enthusiasm for helping with Mae’s bedtime it didn’t exactly go well?” 

She laughs and nods her head, “Yeah, it didn’t go well.” 

“I looked them up,” Evelyn says, taking Emily by surprise again, her lips pressed together as their eyes meet, “A long time ago at school. I knew they were a big deal but…wow.”

Emily’s confidence in her earlier decision wavers, a moment of doubt washing over her like ice water as she blows out a shaky breath, “Would you…” she swallows thickly, “Would you want to get to know them?”

“Oh god no,” she replies, shaking her head fiercely, smiling when Emily looks surprised. She shifts closer and tucks herself under Emily’s arm, resting her head against her chest, “I know you’ve always talked around it, but I know enough to know it has something to do with Dad.” 

Emily runs her fingers through Evelyn’s hair, enjoying the closeness from her eldest, “What does honey?” 

“Why you don’t speak to them,” she says, tilting her head to look up at her, “And Dad might be embarrassing as hell and the worst school trip chaperone of all time,” they both smile and Emily reaches out to tuck some hair behind Evelyn’s ear, “But he’s Dad. And you two are disgustingly in love after all this time, and I’m half him. What if they don’t like the half of me that's him?”

Emily hums and tugs Evelyn back into her chest, resting her cheek on top of her head, “It’s more likely the part of you that’s me they’d have the biggest problem with.”

Evelyn settles in closer to Emily’s embrace and sighs, “I can stop,” she says, looking up at her again, an earnest look in her eyes, “If it means we’re less likely to bump into them or whatever, I can stop student government.” 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Emily says, sitting up so she can cup Evelyn’s cheek, tears pressing at the back of her eyes that she refuses to shed, her daughter’s kindness healing any wounds that her parent’s lack of interest in her had created, “I would never ask you to do that.” 

Evelyn frowns, “I don’t want to do anything that makes you sad.” 

She leans forward and kisses her daughter’s forehead and then tugs her into a hug, smiling into her little girl’s hair as she returns it just as fiercely, “You never could, honey. I am so proud of you,” she says, pulling back to look at her, “And I want you to be whoever you want to be.” 

She hears a throat clearing in the doorway and she smiles as she looks over and sees her husband, the adoring look on his face letting her know just how much he’d overheard. 

“I was thinking we could watch one of those shows you two like,” he says as he leans against the door frame, “One of those where the women all yell at each other in whatever restaurant they happen to be in.” 

Evenlyn beams at him and jumps up off the couch, “There is a new episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” she says, briefly hugging Aaron before she leaves the room, “I’ll get the snacks.” 

“There are peanut butter cups in the back of the pantry,” he calls after her, smiling when she waves her hand at him over her shoulder. He waits until she’s out of view and then walks over to the couch, sitting next to his wife and wrapping his arm around her, “It feels stupid asking, but are you okay?”

She blows out a breath as she sinks into his side, her head on his shoulder as he pulls her impossibly closer. She tilts her head to look at him,  and her smile shakes a little. She knew it would take a while before she felt like she was on even footing again, and that she’d hold her breath, anticipating that she was going to walk into one of her parents every time she’d turn a corner. 

In some ways, it felt like she was right back at the start but she knew she wasn’t. She wasn’t 23 and unsure of where her relationship could end up, she knew she would have Aaron by her side no matter what. She hadn’t walked away from her family, she had one of her own. A family stitched together with love and joy, not unfulfilled expectations and half-truths. 

She nods and leans in to kiss him, making sure it’s quick because she can hear Evelyn walking back towards them, her feet thumping against the hardwood floor. 

“I will be.” 

-x-

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[kouyuzu]

Another Day

*Was listening to Save Your Tears by The Weekend when I wrote this, but I wouldn't call it a song fic, and it's a little different

*1786 words

*Sae x gn! Reader [angst/ hint of fluff]

~~~

Sae hates Japan and everything it reminds him of. Of how the country could never produce a striker, or any teammate that could be worthy of receiving his passes, and when a program cropped up to do that— it included his lukewarm little brother. Playing against the bluelock 11 ‘team’ will be so easy. It’s what he stuck around for afterall, but he’s not ready to see you.

You are the only thing he hates equally to Japan’s football league. YOU, standing there in the stands with your eyes trained on… yup. His lukewarm loser of a brother.

A small flare in his chest ignites as he takes in your face. How your hair shines under the lights of the stadium, a small halo from the way the mist lingers in the air. He jumps up a couple of times to get his blood moving, because not going to let anyone get the better of him, especially not since he’s met the others on the U-20 team. They’re going to destroy Bluelock 11, and prove that there is no worthy egoist in Japan (let alone 11 of them). And then Sae can go back to Spain and forget about this cursed country.

There’s barely any history between you and him anyways, and five years is plenty of time for him to claim that he doesn’t recognize you, and has forgotten. That’s what he tells himself as he keeps the ball just outside of the Bluelock11 penalty area. He dribbles just a little bit behind the tall one who’s been saying the most lukewarm statements about being ‘glam.’ He’s not distracted. He can’t afford to show his brother a lukewarm version of himself, because that doesn’t exist. Not even in front of you. Especially not in front of you.

Maybe Sae got into his head too much because after the game, he can’t even be bothered to care about the results. The only thing he’s thankful for is that Shidou feels the same way, because if he didn’t, someone would have a trip to the emergency room. The rest of the team files off of the field towards the locker rooms and Sae doesn’t mean to look back over his shoulder. He especially doesn’t mean to look directly at the section of the stands where you’re now at the railing and smiling down at Rin. At his younger brother— that lukewarm motherfucker. Of course you would grow closer to Rin after Sae left for Spain, but to be close enough that you’re blowing kisses at him… He doesnt mean to stare as he watches Rin smile. Actually smile back at you, even though he doesn’t return the cheesy gesture.

Teal eyes are watching you long enough for you to look up and catch him. Sae’s brows are furrowed at the scene, and Rin follows your gaze. There’s an eternal second where your mouth parts slightly, and then his name on your lips and a single glint over your cheek bone as a tear falls from the corner and slides across your skin, pale from the overhead lighting, the one pearlescent orb reflecting rainbows as it falls. Ten meters from where Sae stands across the field. He turns for the locker room because he doesn’t want to watch you cry over him. Not again.

The team is going to celebrate and meet the Bluelock 11 team, but Sae doesn’t want to do that. He’s letting his intrusive, repulsively lukewarm, thoughts tear through his mind. Should he go speak to you? It’s been five years since you last spoke. Since you found him the night before his flight to Spain playing soccer at night. You always found him before anyone else began to think to look.

As the Itoshi’s next door neighbor and only friend through middle school, being exactly one year between him and Rin was so perfect. For twelve years you were a constant in their lives, even though you sucked at football. At least you supported his move to Spain. That's what he hates the most about you though— how supportive you are.

His last image of you is fresh in his mind as you told him with tears in your eyes that you wanted what was best for him, and Sae looked back at you with his gorgeous aqua lifeless, blank eyes and said that he didn’t give a fuck what you cared. If this image is in his mind, the first snow stinging his face and you crying— of course you’re crying, you were always crying until Rin showed up— then you have the same image. Sae left you in the field that night, and he’ll do it again. Right now.

Once Sae changes and is standing with the U20 team and some of the guys from the bluelock team, someone speaks up.

“Where’s Rin?” Isagi asks.

Various responses of “I don’t know,” and “who cares?” are returned. Sae’s gritting his teeth as he thinks about that interaction between you and Rin. Maybe Rin is in the stands holding you, and returning that kiss you sent him, but with his own lips.

This ego is going to be the death of him, as Sae drops his bag at Shidou’s feet and starts running for the stands. In his chest his heart is pounding and he can feel the ache in his calves as he sprints up the stairs to get to the stands. He can reach you he knows he can— and there you are, standing at the railing still. Your back is to him, and there’s a hand to your face as you swipe at your eyes. When your fingers fall to the railing there’s a slight shine as the tears linger on your skin.

“Fuck,” Sae whispers in the still air. The stadium feels hot and suffocating, the air muggy and weighing down on Sae as he stares at you. He waits for an infinite second before slowly walking up behind you. But what the hell does he say to you?

“Rin?” You whimper, and turn around as soon as Sae stands behind you.

Sae sighs gently and in a flat voice says, “guess again.”

Your breath catches and you can't help the hiccup that escapes your mouth. Eyes are wide under your lashes which are collecting small drops of condensation from the air, or maybe residue from your crying. You can’t take a step back but Sae notices how your legs shift to move towards the railing. Your throat moves as you swallow.

“Hi… Long time no see…” Sae says. His voice is low, but not as threatening as he thought he was going to come off as.

You glance behind you, but the field is empty since the only other person left was Rin, but he’s in the locker room.

Sae rakes a hand through his hair and he turns to look behind him too, making sure that Rin isn’t going to hear how pathetic he's about to sound.

You’re shifting from foot to foot with your bottom lip locked between your teeth in nerves, and even trying to sneak peaks past him since Sae knows you’re waiting for Rin.

He needs your eyes on him though, so he takes a step in to face you. “(Y/n),” he says. “Look… I fucked up.”

Your breath catches again. “...what?”

“I’m sorry,” Sae clarifies. His hand flits to the back of his neck for a second as he thinks about how to say the next part. He wants to apologize for leaving you, but he needs to improve. He needs to be better. “I ran away from you, because I needed to train.”

You exhale shakily, a whispered “S-Sae,” leaving your lips.

Sae sighs a little more heavily than he means to. You crying right now is the last thing he wants, but it'd be perfectly in character.

“Your training went well,” you say to him, your voice wavering and revealing that you believe the words even though you don't want to. “Sae… you were incredible out there.”

“I've been working hard,” Sae agrees, and shoves his hands into the pockets of his track pants. He traces your face from the way your eyebrows are pushed together in anxiety, to the shine in your eyes. “What's wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing,” you say simply, but lower your gaze to his shoes. There's a deep inhale from you as you continue, “but…” Another second before you let out a soft, “I missed you.” Your voice is quiet under the blanket of night, and Sae feels as cold as the night he left you crying on the soccer field with flurries of snow flying past your faces.

“I’m sorry,” Sae says. His voice is low, although he accidentally used his press-voice, and his tone is flat. “I needed to get stronger.”

“You did,” you agree, your eyes finally meeting his own. “Will you go back to Spain?”

Sae allows his features to even out and his mouth settles into a line instead of a frown. “We lost,” he finally acknowledges, “so I need to continue training.”

Your breath is shallow and you reach your arms out for Sae and slot your own arms around his torso, holding him tightly. “I know you have to leave, but I don't want you to.”

Sae takes one hand out of his pocket and places it on top of your head, patting a couple of times. He doesn't know what to say because he doesn't want any attachment to Japan when he has to leave. And he has to leave because the game against BlueLock 11 confirmed that maybe there is a striker out there who isn't lukewarm, and Sae will need to keep up with them so he can make the best crosses when the time comes to play with him, whoever that might be.

“I'll miss you, Sae,” you say into his U-20 jacket. “I don't want you to leave again.”

He wants to say it back. He wants to save you from the tears but he wants to be internationally recognized in the football community even more. But if you wait for him, maybe another day he’ll be able to tell you these disgusting, lukewarm thoughts.

For now though, Sae’s free arm wraps around your shoulders to hug you back, strong arms pulling you into his chest as you start to sob in earnest again. This time is different though because Sae won't leave your heart broken. He can't allow himself another five or even ten years without you, so he leans his head down next to your ear to murmur, “once I become the number one midfielder, I’ll come back for you, (Y/N).”

[kiwiana-writes]

Hiiiii! For the love your fandom asks, tell me 5, 11, 16, and 20! 🥰

5. something you see in fics a lot and love

Words. I love it when fic writers give me words.

As for an actual answer: Oxford 👏 Slut 👏 Phase 👏

11. if you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

Wow, this question is mean. Who would ask someone this????

And who the fuck let me put two hundred and fifty nine works on AO3?

Podfics first: It's gotta be Going Platinum by @cricketnationrise. It's by FAR the longest solo project I've done (I think there's one posted podfic and one work in progress that I might have more audio minutes on, both as a narrator for a multi-voice project, but I didn't have to edit that shit so it's not my problem 🤣) and for some batshit insane reason I decided to do soundscaping/sound effects for the first time??? But I LOVED how it came out, and I was exceptionally proud of myself for keeping it a secret from cricket because that was HARD. (And yes I WILL be recording parts two and three!)

Schitt's Creek fic: Time until the end of time, the afterlife fic @ships-to-sail and I co-wrote over TWO YEARS and, not to toot our own horns, but the fandom at large slept on it 😅 It's amazing, actually.

RWRB fic: This one's brutal. It's almost Much Ado, and idk maybe it should be Much Ado, but I actually think it's Like loving the stars themselves aka the Doctor Who AU. Also a little bit slept on, actually, but not to the same extent as above 🤣 I am phenomenally proud of this one. The genre was way outside my usual comfort zone and I think this fic is the best example of the way I love to write media AUs -- the story bent to fit the characters, so it's very much an Alex And Henry Story, but there are little pieces of DW canon, RWRB canon, and something that's entirely my own.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

There are so many, honestly, but Alex's slightly hysterical thought about wanting to send whoever taught Henry to suck cock a gift basket is so, so fucking important to me for an array of Overthinking/Over-identifying Reasons. Also it's just funny as hell. I was very proud of getting a different version of it into chapter two of the arranged marriage AU, actually; I think that bit in particular is one of the funnier things I've written.

20. your very first fandom!

The one owned by terf queen mcgee. That was bb!MJ's first exposure to fanfiction and where I started writing fic.

[✨ love your fandom asks ✨]