#and norman is a white pigeon!

[evthesoup]

norrayemma as birds!!!

[whitehartlane]

Tottenham Hotspur’s Double winning team pose for a photo together with their trophies, 1961.

Back row, left to right: Bill Brown, Peter Baker, Ron Henry, Danny Blanchflower, Maurice Norman, Dave Mackay.

Front row, left to right: Cliff Jones, John White, Bobby Smith, Les Allen, Terry Dyson.

Bill Brown: Signed in the summer of ‘59. Proper keeper, is talked about in the same breath as keepers like Clemence, Jennings, and Lloris. Steadfast in this side.

Peter Baker: Born in Hampstead, he played for Enfield before coming to Spurs in ‘52. Played one game short of 300 and scored 3 goals as a right back. Got the job done and never let himself get ruffled by any winger; he’d love watching modern fullbacks nowadays.

Ron Henry: Only ever played for Spurs on the senior level, signing in ‘52. Fast and a good tackler, sound left back. He had a plant nursery and homing pigeons, and he stayed on with Spurs as a coach for the U18s.

Danny Blanchflower: Irresistible, incredible, incomparable. There will never be another like Danny. Signing from Villa in ‘54 and going on to head Northern Ireland, he was the captain of Spurs’ Double winning side and made this great team extraordinary. He had very progressive ideas of how the game should be played, fast and attacking and being allowed to use a ball during training, and was set on the idea that the glory—doing things in style—is what is special about the game. No one like him.

Maurice Norman: Signing in the winter of ‘55, he was an absolute assured and commanding figure at the back. Scored 19 goals over his 400+ appearances for Spurs; should’ve been a mainstay at centre half for England but unfortunately his career was cut short due to a double fracture in his tibia and fibula. Integral to the success of this side.

Dave Mackay: If the word legend had a picture accompanying its definition in the dictionary, surely Mackay’s face would be smiling back up at you. Coming from Hearts in the spring of ‘59, he is still described to this day as possibly the most complete midfield player Scotland has ever produced. He never gave up playing even when the rest of the team believed they had already won. A player who inspired everyone around him, others spoke of him as the ‘hardest man I have ever played against—and certainly the bravest.’ He was known famously as the heartbeat of Bill Nic’s Double winning side. Ange Postecoglou and Son Heungmin would have loved him.

Cliff Jones: Formerly Spurs’ top fifth goalscorer before Sonny overtook him, the Welshman signed for the club in the early spring of ‘58 from Swansea. He was a crucial player in the side who played on both wings, was faster than you could believe, always put a lovely cross in, and scored goals from flying headers. Still has lovely words to say about the club and his grandson, Matt Wells, is currently a first team assistant coach.

John White: Nicknamed ‘The Ghost’ due to his runs to find space off the ball that saw him arrive unexpectedly in the opposition’s penalty box, he was one of the most skilful players to ever don the shirt. Signed in the autumn of ‘59. His name bleeds into Spurs folklore as he was being primed to be the next Blanchflower but tragically passed away prematurely when struck by lightning while playing golf in ‘64. His teammates say about him: ‘While other players were someone you would have to bring into a game, John would bring himself into the game.’

Bobby Smith: For the days of centre forwards like him! Currently Spurs’ third top goalscorer, he joined from Chelsea in the winter of ‘55, clearly having recognised which the superior London club was. Twelve hat tricks over his career with Spurs, he was big and bustling and scored goals like nobody’s business. He scored 33 goals in 43 games in the Double-winning season—not too shabby.

Les Allen: Joining the club in the winter of ‘59, he immediately struck up a brilliant and lethal striking partnership with Smith, scoring 27 goals that Double-winning season. While living in Smith’s shadow a little and struggling to retain his place in the starting XI with the arrival of Jimmy Greaves, he was still an essential part of this side’s success. His son Clive Allen and his nephew Paul Allen both went on to play for Spurs.

Terry Dyson: A player who would nowadays be dismissed by talent scouts due to his height and is often not remembered in this side, but was the catalyst to Spurs’ success that season. He signed for the club in ‘55. A snappy winger who could put in a good cross, he is the only Spurs player to score a hat trick in the North London Derby to date. You can still find him trawling around academy matches.

[legally-brief]

MOVIES WITH MEN IN UNDERWEAR (This is outdated- website shutdown early 2000’s)

“ E-F”

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) Ten year old Henry Thomas in long underwear with no shirt. Calls 14 year old brother "penis breath".

Early Bird, The (1965) Slapstick comedy starring Norman Wisdom. Businessman determined to make a tricky golf shot up an oak tree ends up hanging upside down and falling out of the tree, and of his trousers, when his suspender buttons give way. Enraged, in his striped shorts, he chases Norman Wisdom across the golf course. Near the end of the movie, Wisdom steals the fire chief's uniform in his campaign of destruction. The fireman climbs out of the lift shaft in his white T-shirt and boxer shorts, only to be doused with water.

Early Frost, An (1985) (TV) Aidan Quinn and boyfriend in boxer shorts.

Earth Girls are Easy (1989) Sci-fi comedy. Geena Davis throws her cheating fiancé out of the house in his surgical mask, stethoscope and boxer shorts.

East Is East (1999) Comedy-drama. A young Anglo-Asian guy is seen for a second dancing in his bedroom in his green print Y-fronts.

Echoes in the Darkness (1987) (TV) Good scene with Robert Loggia stripping in his office wearing white T-shirt and white briefs.

Electra Glide in Blue (1973) Robert Blake. One scene exercising in white briefs. Another getting all dressed up in Dallas Duds and forgetting pants.

Elmer Gantry (1960) Burt Lancaster, in his Oscar winning performance, has a scene in turn of the century ‘drawers’.

Emerald Forest, The (1985) Blonde Charlie Boorman as a white boy raised by natives and wearing just loincloths throughout the movie.

Endless Love The main actor screws with his girlfriend in white jockeys (kinda dark though).

Enemy of the State (1998) Action thriller. Pursued by intelligence agents who have hidden tracking devices in his clothes, Will Smith has to strip to his white undershirt and pale-striped boxers and run through the streets to escape.

Escape Artist, The (1982) Griffin O’Neal as a 14 year old boy in chains and boxer shorts.

Evening Star, The (1996) There's a great scene of Scott Wolf in tighty whities.

Everybody Does It (1949) Paul Douglas in white boxers and garters can’t find a place to change into his trousers, as his wife: Celeste Holmes, has invited all her women friends over to hear her sing.

Exit to Eden (1994) The very beginning has a young boy being spanked by his mother in his underpants. A very short scene. The movie also has lots of people walking around in gold thongs, which aren’t quite underwear, but might be worth mentioning.

Eye for an Eye (1996) Revenge thriller. Ed Harris in his boxers in a couple of domestic scenes.

Eyes Wide Shut (1999) Tom Cruise and Ms. Kidman play out a long, marijuana-laced argument in their underwear.

F/X (1986) Bryan Brown under fire and crawling around his apt. in white briefs ... extended scene.

Fábula de la Bella Palomera (1988) (Fable of the Beautiful Pigeon Fancier) "It is Orestes' exquisite absurdity that engages us, his preposterous dignity while tumbling trouserless out of a mistress' window..."

Fabulous Baker Boys, The (1989) Beau Bridges is caught in the hallway of his hotel in dark printed boxers, while Michelle Pfeiffer looks on and comments.

Face in the Crowd, A (1957) Scenes of Andy Griffith in white boxers and A-shirt.

Fallen Angel 13 year old boy is star of kiddy porn movies, in boxer shorts on set, no shirt.

"Fallen Angels" (1993) [TV-Series], episode "Red Wind" One-hour TV adaptation of a short story by Raymond Chandler. Private eye Phillip Marlowe (Danny Glover) is on the beach at night with his blonde client. When she invites him for a swim, he strips to his underwear, hesitating to put down his gun. He should have followed his cautious instinct, because when he comes out of the sea in just his wet orange print boxer shorts, he's at a disadvantage. But it's a beautiful sight.

Family Man, The (2000) Romantic comedy starring Nicholas Cage. Near beginning of movie he makes two or three short appearances wearing black Calvin Klein briefs, and a few minutes later he is seen wearing a pair of plaid boxer shorts.

Fandango (1985) Kevin Costner

Fargo (1996) Crime drama/black comedy. One guy gets beaten up in a corridor in his white T-shirt and print boxers. At the end of the film, one of the protagonists is arrested, struggling as he's handcuffed face-down on the bed in his white T-shirt, dark socks and pale blue boxers.

Fast Talking (1984) Young looking 15 year old boy strokes a wooden penis in shop class. Later is forced by principal to strip to underwear.

Fat City (1972) Good scene. Stacy Keach sleeping in green shirt and ratty white Y-fronts. He walks around his apartment a bit.

Fatal Attraction (1987) The opening scene, with Michael Douglas sitting in the couch reading his appointment book or sth like that while waiting for Anne Archer (who played his wife) to get dressed early in the morning. He was wearing a pair of white classic brief but the white dress shirt he was also wearing cover part of the underpants. There was also one more scene, He was making love with Glenn Close stripping off each other’s clothes.

Fatal Instinct (1993) Armand Assante appears in printed boxers in two scenes in this spy-flick spoof.

Father of the Bride (1950) Spencer Tracy has a nightmare where he walks down the church aisle and loses his pants (white boxers) before the entire congregation.

Fatty's Magic Pants (Fatty's Suitless Day) (1914) "Have you ever gone to a fancy dress ball and had your trousers suddenly vanish? Fatty Arbuckle has. What will happen as the evening progresses? Will more articles of his clothing disappear?"

Fear of a Black Hat (1993) Comedy. Rusty Cundieff and others in boxer shorts; includes a scene where disarming for a fight goes as far as stripping to underwear!

Female Trouble (1975) Divine (as a man) wearing classic whites (with skid marks).

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) Swimming pool scene with Ferris (Matthew Broderick) and his friend in boxer shorts (wet).

Fierce Creatures (1997) Comedy. Kevin Kline running around in his black boxer briefs, and John Cleese in shirt, tie and striped boxers.

Fight Club (1999) Drama. "We twice see a man's bare butt in a black and white advertisement (as well as another man in small and tightfitting underwear)".

Fightin' Fools (1941) "While the Our Gang kids are enjoying the local swimming hole, a rival group ties all their clothes in knots. Our Gang challenges the meanies, and the two sides have a military-style battle using fruits and vegetables for ammunition."

Final Exam (1981) Horror flick. Frat guy gets stripped to briefs.

Finders Keepers (1984) Micheal O’Keefe gets caught in the bathtub with some other man’s wife - and escapes wearing only his boxer shorts. A long chase scene entails.

Fine Madness, A (1966) Sean Connery bums around his apartment in his boxers.

Fire with Fire (1985) Story of a young guy sent to a juvenile detention camp. Nice scene, about halfway through, of the guys in the bunkhouse roused from bed for a late-night inspection. Several cute young guys in jockeys or boxers, including Craig Sheffer.

Fire! Trapped on the 37th Floor (1991) (TV) Scene with three fire-fighters getting out of bed in jockeys (one white, one red, one black) and one tee-shirts.

First Power, The (1990) Twenty-five minutes into the film: Lou Diamond Phillips quickly puts jeans on over white briefs; he then walks around room wearing only jeans with waistband of briefs showing.

First Strike (1996) Humorous actioner with Jackie Chan, including a scene where he's stripped naked at gunpoint. "One of the funniest scenes is Jackie singing 'I Will Follow Him' accompanied by a strip tease"; "I was going to say 4.5 stars, but then I thought about Jackie walking around in that hysterical polar bear hat and the koala underwear...5 stars all the way!"

First-Time Felon (1997) (TV) Boot-camp drama. Omap Epps and other prisoners being inducted into a prison, lined up in white T-shirts and boxers.

Fish Called Wanda, A (1988) John Cleese does what he thinks is a private sexy strip tease down to his bikini briefs and then some, and finds he is being watched by an entire family who are somewhat shocked by the sight of him.

Fisher King, The (1991) Robin Williams and Jeff Bridges are in Central Park at night and Robin Williams is dragging his butt across the ground nude like a dog saying "Do you know why dogs do this? Because it feels SOOO good!!" Absolutely hilarious!!

Five Easy Pieces Don’t remember scene, though definitely has underwear scene

Flashfire (1993) Action. Tom Mason is killed early on, shot dead in his white undershirt and dark print boxers.

Fled (1996) Action. The heroes visit (surprise!) a plush massage parlor, where they're greeted by a most attractive black man in a black robe and white boxer briefs. Cue another shootout and the guy is quickly killed. Such a shame.

Flesh 1995 - A Male Sexorama of Tomorrow (XXX) A rather stupid story (as in most pornos): after some nuclear accident sex for pleasure is forbidden and only allowed for public TV. This gives rise to some beautiful hunks to appear on stage in different types of underwear (thongs, jock-straps, briefs, and boxers). After getting hard in them there are various scenes of sexual pleasure (really hot, especially because of the underwear playing an important role). This finally ends up in a hot j/o session among 5 guys (this time without underwear). Copyright 1990 by Videorama.

Fleshtone (1994) Martin Kemp on the phone in his white underwear.

Flirting with Disaster (1996) Ben Stiller has a lot of scenes in his boxer shorts - including a running joke where he’s constantly taking his pants on and off.

Flying Down to Rio (1933) Gene Raymond rhapsodizes about Delores Del Rio in his hotel room, dressed in white yoke-front boxer shorts.

For Love of the Game (1999) Drama/romance. "We briefly see the back of Billy's (Kevin Costner's) underwear as he gets undressed while preparing for the game".

For Love or Money (1993) Comedy. Michael J. Fox in his underwear at one point; dark boxers.

For Your Eyes Only (1981) Action. James Bond and team attack a mountain hideout at the end of the film. Some guards are caught asleep, and are glimpsed getting out of bed in their assorted underwear.

Forces of Nature (1999) Romantic comedy. Needing cash, Ben Affleck reluctantly has to strip in a gay bar, and is highly embarrassed when Sandra Bullock suddenly pulls his trousers down, revealing his boxer shorts to an enthusiastic audience.

Foreign Correspondent (1940) Joel MacCrae in hotel room in bathrobe. Two toughs come in to get him. He goes into bathroom and out hotel window. On ledge, robe blows open revealing him in A-shirt, white boxers, with shoes, socks and garters. Long scene as he escapes and climbs through a window only to be where a party is going on in his underwear.

Forrest Gump (1994) Tom Hanks and friend ‘Bubba’ (Mykelti Williamson) are in their military white boxers and T-shirts, as they clean the barracks floor - talking about shrimp.

Fortress (1993) Violent, futurist prison-escape drama. Christopher Lambert movie with lots of prisoners in black underwear (including a few on the toilet).

Fortress (USA Movie) In the middle, the actors and actresses strip down to their underwear and swim out of a cave. Don’t know the people, though.

Fortune and Men’s Eyes Hot scene of guys in classic white briefs.

Fortune, The (1975) Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson drop their trousers for Stockard Channing in this 1920’s era comedy, revealing white full-cut boxers and garters.

Forty-Ninth Parallel (1941) Wartime drama. Fugitive German sailors stand and salute in their shirts and undershorts before getting into bed. In an escape bid at the end, they steal an old railroad guard’s uniform.

Foul Play (1978) Dudley Moore believes he is very sexy in full-cut printed boxer shorts covered in red hearts.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) Romantic comedy. Hugh Grant momentarily seen in his white shirt and pale blue boxers in one scene; blue T-shirt, striped boxers in another.

Fourth Man, The (1983?) A gay Dutch man obsessed with another younger man, spies on him - and follows him throughout the Netherlands. White European briefs on one man, as he ‘massages’ himself. Red bikini briefs on the younger man, in a fantasy sequence where the obsessed man pictures the younger man on an erotic crucifix, where he slowly and sensuously pulls the red bikini briefs off the younger man inside a Dutch church.

Foxy Brown (1974) Action. A judge ends up humiliated in a public hallway without his pants. A gang leader is stripped for mutilation (who makes this stuff?!).

Fraternity Row (1977) Lots of guys (including Gregory Harrison) being hazed in briefs. LONG scene at end of movie.

Freejack (1992) Pretty short (yet nice) scene towards beginning of movie with Rene Russo waking Emilio Estevez outta bed. Emilio laying down and walking around in gray Jockeys. Nice shots, but look fast.

Freeway (1988) Ball-exploding scene has beefy James Russo getting out of bed in white jockey shorts and grey T-shirt.

French Kiss (1995) Kevin Kline in his underwear in the hotel room when he sleeps on the couch.

Friday (1995) Comedy. Two short but good scenes: Drug-confused Chris Tucker running down the street in his white undershirt and briefs, pursued by his friends in a car; and Bernie Mac, chased by jealous husband, running to his car in his white undershirt and red briefs.

Friday the 13th (in some parts) There are some scenes where young men in briefs were killed.

From This Day Forward (1946) Mark Stevens in white boxers and A-shirt, has a marital quarrel with Joan Fontaine.

Full Metal Jacket (1987) For those with boxer fetishes.

Full Monty, The (1997) The hit comedy about a bunch of unemployed guys who become strippers.

[normanbased]

WAIT YOUUUU MADE THESE? IVE SEEN THEM IN THE PSYCHO TAG AND I NEVER REALIZED BYE. THEY LOOK SO GOOD ANDLIKE PROFESSIONAL

YEAH I MADE THEM !! 💕💕💕 that’s my favourite one tbh but the green one is good too, it was just some design practice because I wanted to have some psycho posters but none of them appealed to my tastes — this is actually a great reminder for me to print that one out and frame it now that I have some picture frames and some fresh ink !!

Here’s some fun details actually, the collage of organs that are divided in white are the heart, stomach, and genitalia of a male Rock Pigeon. All the notations and text are pulled from a scientific illustration of a Rock Pigeon skull, and are about as accurately lined up to Norman’s human skull as they could be, including the paragraphs that include maxillary and premaxillary— to add to that, the first paragraph starting with ‘Skull of Fowl’ was intended to be a play on words, conflating fowl with foul to emphasise like, idk badness 😎💥

Glad u like them tho! I might make more if the inspiration ever strikes me

[stewy]

“I remember my Dad teaching me how to make a paper airplane, which I still know how to do in the way that he taught me—and flying paper airplanes. I remember we used to watch The Muppets together, and Jekyll and Hyde, but I wasn’t allowed to watch any other television. And when we did watch those shows which were, I think, back-to-back once a week, he would turn off the TV during the commercials which was really frustrating to me because often we’d have missed a bit of the show when he turned it back on.”

Yet even at that tender age, Sean glimpsed “the little child inside the man,” to quote one of John’s last pieces of self-analysis: “I remember that Alice, our black cat, had jumped out the window after a pigeon and died, and I remember that was the only time, I think, I ever saw my dad cry.”

“I remember that around the house he always wore a blue-and-white floral patterned yukata, which is like a casual kimono, and he always had a ponytail. He burned incense a lot as well, and I remember his glasses. I remember him playing guitar and hitting the strings myself and us singing together. He used to sing this song about ‘Popeye the sailor man, lives on the Isle of Man’…

“I remember that he was always barefoot, he rarely wore shoes and if he did it was mostly flip-flops. And for some reason he was very interested in teaching me now to pick up pens and other things between my toes. He would do that all the time because he was double-jointed and a very, very flexible man. I remember him putting his leg over his head in the passenger seat of our Mercedes station wagon. I remember jumping on the bed a lot. Oh…I remember one time he accidentally let one of the heavy wooden doors at the Dakota slam on my finger. And he was very upset about that. My fingernail eventually fell off about two weeks later.”

At times, John’s presence is so close, one feels almost an intruder for listening. “He was a very thin man at that point, and I remember the look of his ankles and his legs, they were very sharply defined in my mind—his knees and his ankles and his legs. I don’t remember his hands but I remember his face, his neck, his hair, his calves, and that bump on the right side of your ankle. I remember the feel of the stubble on his chin very clearly, and wondering about the scar I could see underneath it. I remember him telling me that he got that scar through a car accident with Kyoko, my sister. I don’t think he told me the whole kidnapping story at that point, only that she was with her father, Tony. I found out about all that after my dad passed away. And I think he told me that he never drove again after the accident.”

John Lennon: The Life by Philip Norman

[dramaphan]

It's a bank holiday in the UK. Lots of ppl get married on bank holiday weekends, we need to start a phan wedding rumour. Clearly they've decided to tie the knot on Norman's bday so they can have a fish themed ceremony in his honor. Steve is officiating. That's why Phil has been so quiet, he's been trying to source tuxes for a fish and a pigeon

Oh my god we’re so blind all the proof is right here in black and white

[tabloidtoc]

OK, May 11

Cover: Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher call off divorce

Page 1: Big Pic -- to celebrate Prince Louis’ second birthday on April 23 Prince William and Duchess Kate released a few adorable shots of their youngest child

Page 2: Contents 

Page 4: Cameron Diaz loving motherhood -- she gets candid about her new life as mom to baby Raddix 

Page 6: Since completing her stint behind bars in October Felicity Huffman has kept a low profile as she waited for the scrutiny to cease but now she’s ready to make her return to the spotlight 

Page 7: Though Britney Spears declared that she and Justin Timberlake had one of the world’s biggest breakups the two have maintained an under-the-radar friendship through the years, last year Sarah Michelle Gellar put a stake through fans’ hearts when she knocked the idea of returning for the potential Buffy the Vampire Slayer revival but now she’s having second thoughts because she hasn’t had a great run on TV since then because every post-Buffy series she’s starred in has been canceled after just one season, Angelina Jolie writing a memoir that’s meaningful and hard-hitting but not sensationalized or bitter 

Page 8: Now that Suri Cruise is entering her teen years mom Katie Holmes is supporting her as she pursues her showbiz dreams but Katie has made it clear that Suri has to continue attending school and she wants to make sure the A-student can balance homework with auditions, Bethenny Frankel is bashing her former show RHONYC out of jealousy and is bitter that the show has continued to be a success without her plus she’s bored and missing the spotlight, over the past few years Texas native Matthew McConaughey has lightened his workload so he can spend more time with wife Camila Alves and their three kids in Austin -- a laid-back lifestyle he’s grown to love 

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- Max Mara -- Connie Britton, Nikki Reed, Olivia Wilde 

Page 11: Issa Rae, Gemma Chan 

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Jennifer Lahmers vs. Kerry Washington ✅, Emily Osment vs. Ming-Na Wen ✅, Delilah Belle Hamlin ✅ vs. Laura Marano 

Page 14: News in Photos -- Hannah Ann Sluss works on a puzzle while quarantining at her new California home 

Page 15: Michael Buble and wife Luisana Lopilato and daughter Vida, Norman Reedus and Diane Kruger 

Page 16: Halsey in all pink, Derek Hough

Page 17: Eva Longoria covers up her roots, Val Chmerkovskiy let wife Jenna Johnson shave his head 

Page 18: Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott and kids play Twister, Salma Hayek painted a rainbow on her face, Alec Baldwin with sons Rafael and Romeo 

Page 19: Carson Daly does his own makeup, Melissa Gorga takes out the garbage, Robin Wright and husband Clement Giraudet took their dog along when they went for a bike ride 

Page 20: Maksim Chmerkovskiy and son Shai, Gabrielle Union in her pool

Page 21: Christie Brinkley in her garden, Elizabeth Banks got dressed up for her pal’s virtual baby shower, Kylie Jenner in her her yard 

Page 22: Brooke Shields and daughter Rowan donned matching outfits for a TikTok video, Demi Moore and daughters Tallulah and Scout are shooting video for Tallulah’s new clothing line Wyllis, Gwyneth Paltrow 

Page 24: Inside My Home -- Kesha’s $5 million home in the splashy L.A. neighborhood of Mar Vista 

Page 26: Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich are trying to dispel rumors of trouble in their nearly three-year marriage but they have an interesting way of showing it -- they are sheltering in place hundreds of miles apart -- they talk all the time but Julianne’s fiercely independent while Brooks seems to prefer the company of his dog plus Julianne was spotted taking an intimate stroll with hunky Westworld actor and old pal Ben Barnes who is very single 

Page 27: More than a year after Robin Thicke proposed to April Love Geary the two are finally moving forward with wedding plans though they making sacrifices because they would love to have a great big celebration but given the current climate a small less formal ceremony seems more practical, though Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith spent much of 2019 apart due to their hectic work schedules once they’d reached their breaking point they vowed to make a change 

Page 28: Miranda Lambert is helping husband Brendan McLoughlin get in touch with his animal instincts as they quarantine on her 400-acre spread in Nashville -- Brendan said that growing up in New York City wildlife to him was rats and pigeons and squirrels so caring for Miranda’s menagerie of critters is taking a lot of getting used to, after years of breakups and makeups Gerard Butler’s inner circle is pushing to make longtime love Morgan Brown his wife, Love Bites -- Iskra Lawrence and boyfriend Philip Payne welcomed their first children, Kathryn Dunn and Nick Maccarone split, Dr. Paul Nassif and wife Brittany Pattakos expecting 

Page 29: Two months after Lady Gaga went public with boyfriend Michael Polansky she declared him the love of her life and wants to take the fast-paced relationship one step further by starting a family with him, though Bindi Irwin will still be attached to the Australia Zoo and the family brand she and husband Chandler Powell are looking to set up a base in L.A. 

Page 30: Cover Story -- Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis stronger than ever -- how they saved their almost 5-year marriage and their plans for baby no. 3 

Page 34: The Women of TV Tell All -- Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb, Whoopi Goldberg 

Page 35: Kelly Ripa, Vanna White, Kelly Clarkson 

Page 36: Celine Dion in Love -- four years after losing her husband Celine is moving forward with a new mystery man 

Page 38: Battle of the Boy Bands -- they’ve all got chart-topping hits and A-list exes but it’s up to you to decide which group reigns surpreme -- New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, One Direction 

Page 39: ‘NSYNC, 98 Degrees 

Page 40: Florence Pugh opens up about her booming career and why she isn’t taking it for granted 

Page 42: Keeping It Real -- your favorite reality stars share exactly how they stay in shape -- Whitney Port, Khloe Kardashian, Stassi Schroeder 

Page 43: Kristin Cavallari, Hannah Brown

Page 46: Style Week -- Demi Lovato has teamed up with fitness brand Fabletics

Page 48: Mother’s Day Gift Guide -- Thandie Newton and daughter Nico Parker 

Page 50: Reese Witherspoon and daughter Ava Phillippe 

Page 52: Kim Kardashian West and mom Kris Jenner 

Page 54: Entertainment 

Page 55: Q&A with Karen Gravano of Families of the Mafia 

Page 58: Stars performed for the One World: Together at Home concert which raised $127 million for COVID-19 relief efforts -- Taylor Swift, Elton John, Jennifer Lopez, Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon, Keith Urban, Lady Gaga 

Page 60: Hollywood Heat Meter -- Rachel McAdams is open to reprising her role in Mean Girls, Tampa Bay Buccaneers QB Tom Brady got caught exercising in a Florida park that was closed due to the pandemic, Joshua Jackson and Jodie Turner-Smith welcomed a baby girl, Heather Locklear is celebrating one year sober, Madison Prewett claimed The Bachelor Peter Weber begged her to reconcile just two days before he flew out to be with ex Kelley Flanagan, these stars have splashed out big bucks or are considering it to hold part ownership in their favorite pro teams -- Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez in the New York Mets, Gloria Estefan in the Miami Dolphins, Michelle Williams in the WNBA’s Chicago Sky, Justin Timberlake in the Memphis Grizzlies 

Page 61: Sound Bites -- Reese Witherspoon on her 2013 DUI arrest, Jason Momoa on his kids during quarantine 

Page 62: Horoscope -- Taurus Dwayne Johnson 

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Leighton Meester 

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of Marvel: Week of October 16th, 2019

Best of this Week: Absolute Carnage #4 - Donny Cates, Ryan Stegman, JP Mayer, Frank Martin, Jay Leisten and Clayton Cowles

God is Coming and Eddie Brock is ready for him.

Things have not been looking good for Eddie, Peter and the rest of the heroes of New York. Carnage’s brutality and efficiency has seen him gain the upper hand at every turn imaginable, allowing him to snatch up codices from almost everyone he’s encountered. Ghost Riders haven’t been safe, Spider-People haven’t been safe and even girls with magical powers over hell haven’t been able to stop Carnage’s warpath. 

The last issue saw him take the appearance of Eddie Brock to infiltrate The Maker’s lab to steal the codices from Captain America, The Thing and Wolverine, taking everyone by surprise and seeing the Hulk use the Venom Symbiote himself. This issue follows up on that excellently by showing us the fallout of Hulk merging with Venom, Eddie dealing with the loss of his other again and the heroic efforts he makes to protect his son. 

The book begins with an amazingly drawn and explosive punch by Venom Hulk. Carnage is laughing as he’s being put through a wall while clawing at Hulk’s eyes. The Symbiote is barely able to contain all of Hulk’s massive musculature as it appears to be tearing apart around his fist and forearm. The use of blur around the edges of the page sell you on the velocity of the punch and all of the rubble flying out as they go through the wall shows just how heavy and impactful the blow was. For added measure, there’s even a pigeon just flying by as it all happens.

As the fight is going on, Eddie and Peter take Normie and Ethan to The Maker’s armory to protect the kids from the Symbiote Zombies and Norman Osborn himself. Eddie is dead set on protecting the other heroes, but Peter tries to convince him to stay down with the rest of them. This issue gives us one of the best glimpses of the inner heroism of Eddie Brock as he looks at Spider-Man with the most desperate look possible, one eye stitched closed and asks him to let him do this. Spider-Man does and Eddie gathers Cap’s shield and maybe some kind of electric glove to go and protect everyone. Presumably, the events of Amazing Spider-Man #31 take place while Eddie is out fighting.

The next few pages are just strings of awesomely paced and spectacularly drawn fight scenes. Eddie, armed with the shield, fights his way through Carnage’s hordes and Miles Morales as an infected symbiote re-emerges. (Sorta ignoring the events of Miles’ own tie-in) Elsewhere, Venom Hulk and Carnage continue their romp around the warehouse district as Carnage is surprisingly holding his own against the black and green giant. Frank Martin and the various inkers really set the mood for the fight. The fires glow bright in the backgrounds with a vibrant red and white coloring to it, almost like a fiery mist. Rain crashes down around them and the inks are dark in the perfect places, really bringing out the deep red in Carnage’s color scheme as well as the black veins that now coil around his body. As Carnage mushes Hulk into a wall, you can feel his expression of pain and rage, accentuated by the glowing green of his eyes.

Pinned under Cap’s shield with Miles bearing down on him, Eddie decides to use the shock glove to blast the symbiote off of the young Spider, allowing the two to finally re-team as Miles runs down what he learned while hearing Carnage’s thoughts. He warns that if he gets Hulk’s Codex and the Venom Symbiote, he’ll be unstoppable. In a surprise upset, Carnage overpowers the mind of the Hulk, turning him back into Banner and rips his spine right out as Eddie and Miles show up. It’s a disgusting scene as they always are with Cowles making sure to put as much emphasis as he can by giving it a nice “SHRIPP” sound effect in big, bold, red letters over an entirely black background.

Before we know it, Carnage is covered in the Venom Symbiote, becoming an ultra badass. Ryan Stegman has done a lot to redesign some of the elements of some symbiotes, but this Black Carnage is somehow so much cooler and so much better. He looks like a demon knight with the pauldrons with spikes, an improbable neck guard/collar and Maleficent-esque horns all crackling with hell energy. Eddie begins to lose all hope upon seeing him, but that feeling is washed away when Captain America, The Thing and Wolverine all show up to help in the fight.

Miles grabs Eddie and tells him that the Maker’s machine that was supposed to destroy the codices did no such thing and instead saved them all. The last moments of the book show the Doverton Avengers fight a losing effort against Carnage while Eddie punches the machine, giving his own inner monologue about how he feels something creeping up inside of him. The hope that he thought was lost. Surrounded by all of this blackness and despair, Carnage and all of his bringers of Death, Eddie punches his way to the light.

As the penultimate issue to Absolute Carnage,  have to say that this event and the various tie-ins that have accompanied it have been absolutely amazing to read. I usually decry back to back event stories, especially since we had just come off the heels of War of the Realms, but Absolute Carnage fit the aesthetic of everything I love in stories. It’s dark, it’s bleak and it’s Absolutely Brutal.

Ryan Stegman can do no wrong here as his art style is amazing from start to finish, he has an eye for action scenes and makes great use of single a double page spreads to bring out the most in every scene. Even when the fighting is confined to a few panels, he manages to spring as many infected as he can into the space, making things feel claustrophobic and dangerous. Frank Martin’s colors give this book life, however, when they’re burning with darkness or glimmer with small glimpses of hope. They complete the amazing package by pulling the emotion out of you, whether you’re terrified or you have a bit of hope only or it to be ripped away.

JP Mayer and Jay Leisten help him by making sure that the pages have the perfect amount of darkness to them. The inks are phenomenal and really help to give off that feeling of hopelessness and danger in every scene, even better that most of this story takes place at night so the mood is always set.

I love that Eddie Brock is starting to be seen less as the villain who used to eat people’s brains and more as this responsible every-man that’s been caught in an extraordinary situation. When he got the Symbiote back at the end of Lee Price’s time in All-New, All Different Marvel, I never expected him to get this much heart. That’s the main thing that Donny Cates has contributed to this character, that feeling of heroism.

Eddie’s becoming a much better person than he ever was in the past, but at the same time, we know that he can never fully escape who he was. Even at the end of this issue there was a transcription of his first time in jail when he first met Cletus Kasady and it was so weird to see how unhinged Eddie was not too long ago.

As Absolute Carnage draws to a close (and with Venom Island on the horizon) I can’t wait to see what direction his story takes and how Eddie Brock could possibly see Avenger status in the far future. High recommend.

[harrison-abbott]

A burst of pigeons in a foreign square.

This is a historical city, boyo; the Nazis trod here 70 clicks ago.

The sun and space of the buildings.

The flutter of bicycles, the smells of streetfood;

An odd pleasure at being a stranger in a metropolis.

 Up the famous hill to a proud statue.

Photographs. The patterns of leaves.

You sweat. The temperature is way out of your

Normal comfort zone but you like it.

It runs into your lips and you lick it up, your own sweat.

And then there’s the river and you abide by it,

You roll by its mad broad body and it makes you feel

Like somebody else, as if you aren’t you,

As if, glimpsing yourself in car windows as you pass,

You’re not you and you have no history and it’s fine to be

In Europe and mooching about.

 Barely anybody speaks your language.

You’re way off-key here.

Walk into a café and ask for some vegan food:

They’ve no clue what you’re on about and

Offer you a can of sweetcorn. Just being nice.

 This is another world. And you’re already centralised on

What you know. Famous pop music. (Beatles, Bob Dylan;

Is that popular music anymore?)

You blast that as you walk around the city.

Knowing all the words,

Have heard it hundreds of times.

And you think up the new ideas for your new book.

And they come.

All’s going well.

 Your big brother posts in the familial social media chat.

He’s pregnant.

Will have a new kid later in the year.

Same year as you except you’ll be thirty when this new

Chap will be born.

And it’s the strangest thing because you were honestly thinking

‘I wonder if Louis and K will have another baby one day’.

 And at the same instant I know I’ll never have a kid myself.

 Then it started to rain in Budapest. Lightly. Not a torrent.

And the moisture arose the scents from the cement,

The way that rain does.

 She messaged me again.

And a great flood of memory came back to me.

When I’d already been writing about her in memoir,

(in diary entries which were never supposed to be public.)

 And just those initial messages seemed like sparky magic

And within this new world they were,

In a tiny island of a day.

 There was a telephone call

And I heard her tiny voice again.

My heart was unprepared.

 I cried for a day straight afterwards. And the day after

That too and it’s the evening of that day now.

Now I’m back in my home city and I feel a different man.

Older.

There was this kid looking at me in the airport earlier.

This wee boy.

My face was all red and teary and he gaped at me.

I wasn’t embarrassed.

I didn’t get flagged in the Budapest security but I did

When I bounced back into Edinburgh

And the first thing I did was get some more beers in

And caught the bus back home and I couldn’t

Stop crying on the journey.

 I’m not talented or amazing.

Just grieving.

 Had gone into the holiday all berserk and hopeful and then all of this …

Ah.

Who cares?

 …

 When you were in the national museum you saw Beethoven’s piano.

That was pretty rad.

That’s Ludvig’s piano, boyo, and you’re in the same room as it.

 You thought that perhaps your perception of your own

Importance was misguided this whole time and it’s taken you

Twenty nine years to realise it.

 You go into a bar

At night

And there’s a soccer game on.

Multicolour around the ceiling. The bartenders are cool.

They’re pretending to be nice and are naturally sound at

The same time and you give them tips.

 And you’re thinking,

I shouldn’t call her

I shouldn’t risk that

That would be a mistake

And you remember the ending passages of

Norman Mailer’s An American Dream …

How he loved the sound of her voice,

Even though it would muck him up,

He just couldn’t resist.

 But ^ that was fiction, right?

And Mailer was a total bastard.

 I remember the light of her hair,

The way it whisked up one time when I

Was saying bye to her outside of the campus,

Dainty as ballet.

 Life can be grim. It is hard to separate memory from reality

And that’s something I’ve never quite been able to do.

 You look at the mirror and see all of these white hairs

Which are making quite a resurgence.

 It’s not even that the other person wins;

That the other sides beat you:

Nobody loses. They just fall away unto different tunnels and

You literally never seen them again.

Within their tunnel – they’ve gone there deliberately –

And you can only imagine their words coiling about the interior.

 And so she’s simply back in her hometown and

Then you’re off back to yours.

 On the morning of your flight you wake up at 5 am.

Worst you’ve felt for quite some time and you

Can only manage one beer for fear of being sick.

 I always thought I was something to be admired,

A good artist.

But just look at how destitute I am, just how deluded.

I’m totally isolated, man, and there’s a reason for that.

Even when I’m back in my ‘home country’ I don’t get any calls.

 That nervous way people look at you.

 There are no pills for Asperger’s. Yes, I know that.

 It’s difficult to keep trying; to find a reason to write. Even though I have the next plot for the next book. Sometimes I wish I could drain my mind out. Flush away the memory of this woman of whom this essay is about. But then, I would never have been able to write about it if the past hadn’t happened.

 I still love her. Is there a great shame in admitting that?

 But, it’s outdated and out of tune. You have to clear up and think differently. Not be so integral to the past.

[greener-books]

Showcase Your Love for Pets with These 10 Books

Here's a collection of cat books and pet books about pets, how to get them to want unique creatures, and more that we like!

Keep reading...

This Moose Belongs to Me by Oliver Jeffers

This book delves into the idea of ownership and poses a simple yet crucial question: what does owning genuinely mean to you? This fantastic story illustrates how we never truly own any animal or human. Instead, we share our lives and space with others, and everyone requires their own space and freedom to be happy for four children and their parents.

Not Norman: A Goldfish Story by Kelly Bennett

The youngster desired a pet that could run, fetch, and snuggle in this story, but he received a Goldfish! Norman is his name. The boy tries unsuccessfully to switch the fish. However, the youngster eventually accepts Norman and will not trade him for anything. It's a nice, reassuring story, and "Not Norman" ends differently.

Let's get a pup by Bob Graham.

The representation of a real family and the fact that the animals choose their families are depicted with warmth and compassion in this beautiful book. It’s a lovely book for animal lovers. They are strongly suggested!

The New Puppy by The Anholt's

The Anholts explain in the forward that this narrative was inspired by a moment when their youngster desired a pet. This already lovely story is enhanced with vintage pictures.

My Cat Just Sleeps by Joanne Partis

Isn't it unfair not to include novels on cats in this list? A girl believes her cat sleeps all day in this humorous picture book for cat lovers aged two and above. To find out if this is true, keep reading.

Harry the Dirty Dog by Gene Zion

Harry is a black-spotted white dog who despises baths. So, he steals the bath brush and buries it in the yard before fleeing the house. He becomes dirty along the way. However, the novel is so much more. A contemporary classic that comes highly recommended.

The Pigeon Wants a Puppy by Mo Willems

This story is about a Pigeon who desperately wants a puppy and keeps telling the readers how it will try to care for and love the puppy. What would the Pigeon think, though, if its request is granted? If you liked the Pigeon series, you'd enjoy this one.

What pet to get by Emma Dodd

A young child expresses his desire for several wild creatures as pets to his mother, who calmly and reassuringly explains why they cannot have those animals as pets. An adorable book with ample illustrations, ideal for children aged two and up who enjoy animals.

Officer Buckle & Gloria by Peggy Rathmann

Every day, Officer Buckle's safety talks bore the students. Students are oblivious to his presence. Officer Buckle then obtains a sidekick named Gloria one day. Officer Buckle is up in front of the audience, and Gloria is right behind him, acting out the tip. The kids are suddenly seated in their chairs, laughing, and enjoying the entertainment. A fantastic novel that comes highly recommended!

What Pet Should I Get? (Classic Seuss)

This Dr Seuss picture book on making up one's mind has never been seen before and is the literary equivalent of buried treasure! What happens when a brother and sister go to a pet store to choose a pet? They can't pick just one! The story takes a traditional childhood experience—choosing a pet—and turns it into a life lesson: it' sits hard to decide, but sometimes you must!

So, what are your thoughts on our 10 Best Pet Books for Young Readers list? Are these also some of your favourites? Do you have any other ideas for us? If you leave a remark below, we'll be sure to look into the books. You might be curious about it.

Article Source:https://greenerbooks.co.uk/blog/post/showcase-your-love-for-pets-with-these-10-books

[northseth]

short trip home  (part 2—west of the divide & back)

Two famous movies produced before Technicolor became standard, when it remained costly and labor-intensive—The Wizard of Oz (1939) and The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945)—still made strategic limited use of it: in Oz (at length) as the vivid dyes rendering Dorothy’s polychrome dreamland; in Gray as the jolt bringing us face-to-face with Dorian’s corruption and cruelty.

Audiovisual entertainments are now so immersive and realistic that it’s hard to gauge what impact the selective use of color once may have had on movie audiences familiar only with black-and-white. Yet both films’ technique came to mind as I drove from east to west over Rogers Pass—from dry, late icebound winter into full-blown mountain spring. I weighed switching to color for the second half of this post.

That would have strained an already slight parallel. But the greens of the meadows and forest floors along the Blackfoot Valley did rival the John-Deere-tractor hue of the Wicked Witch of the West’s face. And the unidentifiable roadkill emerging here and there from the ditches’ receding snows could have resembled (since it was already on my mind) Dorian’s vile portrait-corpse.

The Blackfoot Valley has less idiosyncratic ties to cinema with Robert Redford’s A River Runs Through It (1992), the movie based on the title novella of an autobiographical collection by Norman Maclean, a retired Shakespeare professor from the University of Chicago, who had grown up in Missoula. The film doesn’t come close to conveying the story’s wonder and laconic pathos, I’ve always thought. The collection, never promoted, and published by an academic press since no commercial publisher would touch it, was in my teens a dog-eared parable passed around among fly-fishing family and friends, who took it to heart before it grew widely famous (although my paternal grandfather, an ardent fly-fisherman and churchgoer, like the author’s father, found it scandalous).

The Big Blackfoot River comprises the healing waters that course through the story, though other streams make appearances too. The Blackfoot is “multitudinous,” “gossamer,” “electrically charged,” and above all “beautiful”: a bestower of glory and haloes; a shadow-maze, an oracle, a cipher. It’s the timeless current that recalls for Maclean his brother, Paul, and helps him come to terms, imperfectly, with Paul’s bewildering character and at last his murder.

                   The North Fork of the Blackfoot River (web photo)

In July and August, the Blackfoot pours like molten crystal through long, at times suddenly sharp, curves, tinged emerald in its channels and holes. But in mid-May this year it raged down in such muddy volume that its rapids’ usual din fell to a whisper—an unnerving sign of power and mass—and it flooded flatter parts of the valley floor in shining swaths. I wondered how the fabled trout within it were surviving such forces.

At various points, Highway 200 and the river diverge, to cross again miles further down. At each successive crossing that day its torrent seemed doubled. Near the sawmill and railroad town of Bonner, where the Blackfoot joins with the Clark Fork River, it ran as wild and full as I could have imagined possible for the river I had known since childhood.

A few miles yet further down, in Missoula, the Clark Fork surged too. As its banks bloomed obliviously with lilac and chokecherry, the river smashed through town at 100-year flood levels, completely drowning Brennan’s Wave, the white-water hydraulic there beloved of kaykers and river surfers. Norman Maclean’s Blackfoot had here become T.S. Eliot’s strong brown god —“sullen, untamed, and intractable.” 

                            The Clark Fork River in Missoula May 2018

                            Brennan’s Wave in May a few years ago

Most of the city itself hadn’t flooded, though, and bustled with the business of graduation, taking note of the Clark Fork’s maelstrom from its bridges but preoccupied with its own rhythms and rituals.

Indeed nearly all weekend the weather and setting were paradisal. The crabapples’ white profusion disappeared here and there into the snows of the Missoula Valley’s five surrounding mountain ranges. Lawns and trees pulsed green in long spring light. There were parties for the graduates and their families, smiles and toasts and a palpable sense of relief. The student house where my nephew lived stood just a block west of the campus, a neighborhood that includes beautiful yards and small mansions of various architectural inspiration.

                             Charles C. Brothers Residence under restoration

Missoula embraces its identity as a political and civic oasis in a deep red state, still retaining some air of the working-class progressivism forged through its early ties to the railroads, timber industry, and Forest Service. The university, of course, has long reinforced this culture on its own terms, as do Patagonia-wearing millionaires who’ve moved there for close access to wilderness. The city itself has bucked the regressive zoning and land-use trends elsewhere in Montana to restrict sprawl and keep the bare foothills cradling it mostly development-free. Those foothills constantly draw the gaze upward and shift with clouds and light; from the busy center of town their emptiness somehow calms the heart.

                                  Alley art downtown

                            Alchemy along the walls at Butterfly Herbs

                              In Missoula, on the south bank of the Clark Fork

Missoula cherishes its oddities, too, human and otherwise—probably none moreso than the dramatis personae haunting the Smead-Simons building, Montana’s first skyscraper, known as the Wilma.  Standing tall on the downtown-side bank of the Clark Fork, the building’s early history (available in various accounts) revolves mainly around its opulent movie theater and the Crystal Plunge, an indoor Olympic-size pool (another Montana first). Through the years chapters featuring a perfumed fountain, Mahalia Jackson, ornithomania, and David Lynch were added. Its apotheosis was the Chapel of the Dove, a shrine assembled in its basement to venerate Korro Hatto, the beloved pet pigeon of longtime Wilma owner Eddie Sharp.

Though openly gay (when being so in the American West carried serious risk) and half her age, Sharp had married Edna Simons (née Wilma), the widow of the the Wilma’s founding owner and a former Vaudeville singer. Sharp revered and dearly loved her. According to Missoulians I know, but no written account I could find, Sharp came recognize Korro Hatto as Edna Simons-Sharp’s reincarnation at some point after her death in 1954; the chapel was an exact replica of chapel where they had married four years earlier in New York City. Korro Hatto, Sharp’s constant shoulder-perching companion, lived to the age of twenty, and they are interred together, along with Sharp’s subsequent partner of forty years, Robert Sias, in Missoula City Cemetery.

Missoula is now home to several start-up breweries and distilleries, but still hosts a number of its original taverns, most notable (to me, anyway), the Oxford—”the Ox”—whose blackjack tables never close and which used to serve brains and eggs as part of its 24-hour breakfast menu. The poet Richard Hugo, perhaps besides Maclean the most famous literary figure who lived and taught in Missoula, drank and socialized here and in the town’s numerous other “cavelike, majestically slow-moving Western barrooms.”              

Stars are not in reach. We touch each other by forgetting stars in taverns, and we know the next man when we overhear his grief. Call the heavens cancerous for laughs, and pterodactyls clown deep in that fragmented blue. In that red heart a world is beating counter to the world.

Soon enough, It was time to drive back, to cross the Divide again in my rental car (which my youngest nephews, twins, relentlessly deemed “gutless”)—this time from west to east. The flight home to Minnesota would depart the next morning at a harsh pre-dawn hour.  

After goodbyes, we headed out in a caravan. I did so with a heavy heart—the weekend had been too short, the family time joyous but jumbled, the fragrant sliver of springtime achingly perfect.   The road from Missoula to Great Falls is still beautiful, though the views eventually resolve, once over Rogers Pass, into the forlornness of eastern Montana. The late afternoon sun, falling behind us, kept out of our eyes and lit the shifting landscapes ahead. The Blackfork River dwindled as we climbed, at first only slightly, but by Lincoln decidedly. The snows on pass had mostly melted away. We sped through Lewis and Clark and Cascade counties, past ranches and windbreaks and homemade antigovernment signs nailed to fenceposts, anxious for our destination. At Vaughn, though, rather than taking the interstate where it crosses highway 200, we cut off on the road leading to First People’s Buffalo Jump State Park, or the Ulm pishkun as it’s locally known. The twilit hills and coulees glowed pink and gold. We stopped and got out of the car at the turnoff to McIver Road just to take in the sunset for a few minutes, then got back in and drove the rest of the way to my brother’s house before dark.

[stockwellarchives]

“[Stockwell said:] Okay, so I'm going to play this little Indian kid in Rudyard Kipling's tale of KIM and Errol Flynn is going to play the other guy. While they're building the sets, I come onto the sound stage with my mother and the studio teacher, the perfect Norman Rockwell portrait of middle America - sixty-three years old, sweet, giving, a long-suffering spinster with the rimless glasses and high lace collar. She was terrific with her rosy cheeks. Didn't even have to blue her hair, she had her own natural white hair. She and my mother were flanking me. 

"Errol Flynn came up to me. Somebody said, 'This is Dean Stockwell.' Of course, he's bigger than me, and with this gleam in his eye, he looked down at me. He stuck out his hand and said, 'Hi. Have you had your first fuck yet?' 

"There was a moment, it lasted an eternity, where both my mother and the teacher were going 'Brrrr,' like pigeons with a gnat up their ass, blushing and doing everything but bleeding on either side of me. Flynn is still staring at me, waiting for me to answer him, but I didn't know what the word meant. I'm just looking at this guy, thinking, I finally found a friend, a father. 

Obviously, he knew I hadn't had my first fuck yet, or he figured that out right after he asked me. Still, he gave me one of the special lapel buttons he'd had made. It had beautiful hand-carved wings. In the center were three F's interlocked. It was 'Flynn's Flying Fucker' club, and the part that went into your lapel was a huge erect cock and balls to hold it in. I had it hidden in my top drawer for four years. My mother finally found it. She didn't tell me until two years after she threw it out.  I had a hell of a good time shooting that picture.

"Errol Flynn came onto the set one morning a little blurry-eyed, and told me about picking up a girl the night before, a waitress. He really liked waitresses and working girls - secretaries. "So he took this waitress to his place. Next morning, he said, 'You know what she did? As I'm fucking her, she said, “Oh, fuck me, Errol Flynn! Fuck me, Errol Flynn.” I mean, that really tells you where it's at. “Fuck me, Errol Flynn.” Not “Fuck me, Errol.”’ 

“Flynn was a maniac practical joker. I had a horror looming up, one of those crying scenes - a real toughy - with Paul Lukas. He's a dying lama. The scene is a master shot inside a tent in India and I'm there with the lama and Flynn comes through the tent flaps and gives me food for the lama in a rice bowl, and I'm supposed to be - as the character Kim - on the job and I can't let the lama eat maggots. So I check the bowl. Flynn has a line and leaves. Then I have this big crying scene with the lama. 

“So we rehearse and do a take. I'm talking to the lama and in comes Flynn and hands me the bowl, piled high with fresh camel dung, still steaming. Now I'm supposed to look at it and say, 'Is this okay for the lama to eat?' And he's supposed to say, 'Yes, of course. I promise it's good.' 

“I looked at the mess and said my line and he backed out. I played the rest of the scene and it cost Flynn five hundred dollars. He had bet everyone on the crew that he would break me up." 

Moore, D. (1984). Twinkle, twinkle, little star. San Francisco, CA: Harper & Row.

[hotvideo]

THE BOSS’ SON (1978)

BACK WHEN I THOUGHT THERE WAS A FUTURE FOR ME IN THIS RACKET, I USED TO PULL ALL-NIGHTERS ON IMDB, CONNECTING THE DOTS BETWEEN THE ACTORS, DIRECTORS AND FILMS THAT COMPRISED WHAT I CONSIDERED TO BE A SECRET HISTORY OF AMERICAN MOVIES. THIS IS HOW I HAPPENED ON WRITER/DIRECTOR BOBBY ROTH. MY OFFICIAL INTRODUCTION TO HIS WORK WAS A FLICK HE MADE IN THE EIGHTIES CALLED HEARTBREAKERS, WHICH HAS, IN MY OPINION, A LOT OF JUICE. BACK IN THE SEVENTIES, ROTH WAS ONE OF A NUMBER OF YOUNG FILMMAKERS EMERGING ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, CATS LIKE CHARLES BURNETT (KILLER OF SHEEP), DAVID BURTON MORRIS (PATTI ROCKS), ROB NILSSON (SIGNAL 7), EAGLE PENNELL (THE WHOLE SHOOTIN’ MATCH), AND PENNY ALLEN (PROPERTY).  FOLLOWING IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF GRAND WIZARDS LIKE JOHN CASSAVETES, THIS LESS-CELEBRATED CLASS OF FILM MAVERICKS HELPED LAY THE GROUNDWORK FOR WHAT WE NOW KNOW AS AMERICAN INDEPENDENT CINEMA. THE FILMS WERE MADE ON A SHOESTRING, A COLLABORATION BETWEEN BEARDED, BRA-BURNING BOOMERS. SOME WENT ON TO HAVE SUCCESSFUL CAREERS IN AND AROUND HOLLYWOOD; THE OTHERS, WELL, DIDN’T AND NOW TEACH FOR A LIVING. JUDGING FROM THE VIDEO “MASTER CLASSES” IN DIRECTING HE’S SELLING VIA HIS WEBSITE, I’M GUESSING BOBBY ROTH IS ONE OF THE ONES WHO TEACHES FOR A LIVING.

AFTER HEARTBREAKERS, I VOWED TO SEE MORE BY BOBBY ROTH. I FOUND A USED VESTRON TAPE OF AN EARLIER FILM OF HIS, THE BOSS’ SON, ON eBAY. FRANKLY, I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE DID BEFORE, BETWEEN OR AFTER THESE TWO FILMS, BUT I THINK BOTH ARE INCREDIBLE; ROTH SEEMED POISED TO BE A STRONG NEW VOICE IN AMERICAN FILM. THE BOSS’ SON IS A SOCIAL DRAMA THAT DEALS WITH SOME OF THE HARSH REALITIES FACING THE AMERICAN LABOR FORCE IN THE 1970s. IF MEMORY SERVES, THE TAGLINE ON THE ORIGINAL ONE-SHEET READS SOMETHING LIKE: IF BLUE COLLAR KNOCKED YOUR DICK IN THE DIRT, GET DOWN AND BOOGIE WITH THE BOSS’ SON. IT’S THE STORY OF A RICH KID WHO RETURNS HOME AFTER COLLEGE TO WORK FOR HIS FATHER, A SELF-MADE MAN WHO GOT RICH IN THE CARPET BIZ. POPS IS THE AMERICAN DREAM INCARNATE. HE STARTED FROM NOTHING AND NOW HE’S GOT THE ROLLS AND THE BIG HOUSE IN BEVERLY HILLS, AND ALL THE HEALTH PROBLEMS THAT COME WITH THAT. BUT INSTEAD OF JUST SETTING JUNIOR UP WITH A COZY JOB AT THE COMPANY, POPS DECIDES TO MAKE HIM ONE OF THE FACTORY PROLES. THE KID’S BEEN MOLLYCODDLED ALL HIS LIFE, THE PRODUCT OF A POST-WAR, SUBURBAN JEWISH UPBRINGING, AND HE’S GOTTA LEARN SOMETIME WHAT THE WORLD’S ABOUT.

FOLLOWING A TITLE SEQUENCE COMPOSED OF HOME MOVIE FOOTAGE MOST LIKELY GLEANED FROM ROTH’S OWN CHILDHOOD, THE BOSS’ SON OPENS TO A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN SINGING SHOW TUNES IN THE MIRROR. THIS IS MOM (RITA MORENO, WEST SIDE STORY). SHE’S DRUNK AGAIN.  BETWEEN SIPS OF SHERRY, THE BEVERLY HILLS HOUSEWIFE ENTERTAINS HER MEXICAN HOUSEKEEPER (LUPE ONTIVEROS, REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES), WHO, OF COURSE, SPEAKS NO INGLES.

AT DINNER, POPS (RUDY SOLARI, “EVERY TV SHOW OF THE 1960s/70s”) TELLS JUNIOR (ASHER BRAUNER, SWITCHBLADE SISTERS) WHAT HE HAS PLANNED FOR HIM. TOUGH LOVE, BABY. THE KID’S A COLLEGE GRADUATE AND HE’S NEVER WORKED A DAY IN HIS LIFE. POPS IS ABOUT TO CHANGE THAT. HE’S GONNA SEND HIM OUT ON THE BIG TRUCK WITH A SCHVARTZE NAMED CHARLES (HENRY G. SANDERS, KILLER OF SHEEP) TO LEARN THE BUSINESS FROM THE GROUND UP. POPS IS A BIG-HEARTED GUY, BUT HE’S LOSING HIS SHIRT. HE DOESN’T NEED THE TSOURIS OF RUNNING A BUSINESS ANYMORE, AND HIS PLAN IS TO LEAVE IT TO JUNIOR. THAT IS, IF JUNIOR CAN PROVE HIMSELF TO BE A LEADER AND ONE WHOM THE WORKERS RESPECT.

JUNIOR AND CHARLES DON’T HIT IT OFF IMMEDIATELY, AS THEY COME FROM TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORLDS. JUNIOR CAN’T SHAKE HIS ENTITLED ATTITUDE AND CHARLES IS JUST A WORKING STIFF, TRYING TO STAY HARD AND KEEP THE CLOTHES ON HIS BACK, JACK.

“I’d never take anything from your father that I didn’t have coming to me.”

THE MEN LOAD AND UNLOAD HUGE ROLLS OF CARPET FROM AN OLD TRUCK. IT’S BACK-BREAKING WORK, SOMETHING JUNIOR’S NOT ACCUSTOMED TO.

THINGS ARE TENSE AT THE FACTORY. CARPETS ARE FALLING OFF THE TRUCKS AND OLD MAN ROSE IS ON THE VERGE OF BANKRUPTCY. POPS’ RIGHT-HAND MAN, BUDDY (JAMES DARREN, GIDGET GOES HAWAIIAN), A SHORT-TEMPERED FUCKHEAD WITH FRANKIE AVALON HAIR AND A DIFFERENT PLAID SPORT COAT FOR EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, SUGGESTS THEY HIRE AN OUTSIDE GUY TO COME IN AND FIND OUT WHO’S DOING THE DIRT. POPS ASSURES BUDDY IT’S BEING HANDLED.  

WHEN THE OTHER WORKERS TREAT JUNIOR LIKE A NARC, HE ASKS THE OFFICE MANAGER, AL (FOLK MUSIC LEGEND RICHIE HAVENS, WOODSTOCK) TO LET HIM GO ON A RUN BY HIMSELF. 

SOME FUNKY LITTLE INCIDENTAL MUSIC CUES PLAY HERE AND THERE, JERRY GOLDSMITH-ON-A-BUDGET SMOOVE.

JUNIOR DELIVERS SOME SHIT TO A TOUGH OLD BROAD IN THE BACK OF HER STORE. SHE GIVES HIM HER CARD AND TELLS HIM TO CALL IF HE EVER COMES ACROSS ANY SPARE CARPET. ON THE RIDE BACK, THE REAR OF THE TRUCK FLIES OPEN WHILE JUNIOR’S DRIVING AND A BUNCH OF SHIT FALLS OUT INTO THE STREET, NEARLY CAUSING AN ACCIDENT.

WHEN JUNIOR GETS BACK TO HEADQUARTERS, HE’S LIVID. HE YELLS AT AL IN FRONT OF THE OTHER GUYS, INCLUDING A JIVE-ASS WHITE BOY (CHRIS MULKEY, PATTI ROCKS). AL, REALIZING WHAT’S AT STAKE MAKING WAVES WITH THE BOSS’ KID, PLUGS IN HIS DEFERENTIAL SIDE AND KOWTOWS TO THE LITTLE MAN.

LATER, IN THE COFFEE HUTCH, CHARLES TELLS JUNIOR THAT AL’S GOT A LOT ON HIS PLATE AND SIMPLY FORGOT TO HAVE THE TRUCK REPAIRED, WHILE THE TRUTH IS THE WORKERS HAVE BEEN AFRAID TO BRING UP THE TRUCK’S MAINTENANCE ISSUES TO OLD MAN ROSE, WHO’S ALWAYS CRYING ABOUT THE RISING COST OF TEA IN CHINA.

JUNIOR GIVES CHARLES A RIDE HOME, AND CHARLES INVITES HIM TO STAY FOR SUPPER. WE GET TO SEE HOW CHARLES IS LIVING -- NOT VERY LARGE AND, PRESUMABLY, ON A LAYAWAY PLAN. WE’RE INTRODUCED TO CHARLES’ WIFE, AN UNHAPPY MULATTO NURSE NAMED EVIE. THE MARRIAGE APPEARS TO BE ONE OF CONVENIENCE, LIKE THEY’RE PARTNERS IN A CORNER STORE CALLED MAKING DUE. IT’S HERE THE ACCOUTREMENTS OF CHARLES’ WORKING CLASS DOMESTICITY -- FOR INSTANCE,  A PLASTIC CUBE THAT HOUSES FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHS ON EACH OF ITS PANELS -- TAKE ON A GREATER SIGNIFICANCE. THIS IS SOMEONE’S LIFE.

EVIE IS RUDE TO JUNIOR, REFUSING TO COOK SUPPER FOR THE WHITE BOY. ONCE JUNIOR’S OUT OF EARSHOT, CHARLES CONFRONTS HIS WIFE, EXPLAINING TO HER HIS PIPE DREAM OF MOVING ON UP AFTER JUNIOR TAKES OVER HIS FATHER’S COMPANY. SHE CALLS HIM A FOOL. CHARLES PUTS HIS FOOT DOWN: IT’S HIS HOUSE AND JUNIOR STAYS.

EVIE HEATS UP SOME CANNED SPAGHETTI AND WHITE BREAD FOR THE TWO MEN, THEN PREPARES TO LEAVE FOR HER SHIFT AT THE HOSPITAL. JUNIOR THANKS HER FOR THE MEAL AND OFFERS TO CLEAN UP. EVIE JUST SHAKES HER HEAD. 

AFTER SUPPER, CHARLES DEMONSTRATES HIS NIGHTLY RITUAL OF DRIFTING OFF TO SLEEP IN HIS BELOVED LA-Z-BOY CHAIR.

“I puts me on some music, roll me a number, lay back and just drift away, jack.”

I LOVE THIS SCENE.

CHARLES INVITES JUNIOR TO TRY ON THE CHAIR, LIKE THEY DON’T HAVE COMFY FURNITURE WHERE HE COMES FROM. JUNIOR ASKS CHARLES IF EVIE MINDS HIM BEING SO FREE, OUT ALL HOURS AT THE AFTER-HOURS, PLAYING HIS MUSIC FOR THE PEOPLE.

“She’ll never quit me  cos she know I always come through. I say ‘Hey, baby, you know all that runnin’ around don’t mean nothin’, and it don’t... it just be my dick getting hard. Look here, if I see a little girl who’s new in town, don’t know nobody in the city, I says ‘Hey, stick with me, baby, cos I got a line on a good thing goin’, but right now let’s boogie... cos I love me some Pointer Sisters! But if I go to the nickel and dime, don’t ask me for a quarter. Cos how much a dollar cost anyway?”

 RIGHT ON!

THE MEN DELIVER A SHIPMENT TO OLD MAN ROSE’S PAD. CHARLES HAS NEVER BEEN TO THE HOUSE BEFORE. JUNIOR TELLS HIM TO WAIT IN THE FOYER, WHICH, WELL, SAYS A LOT.

CHARLES SAYS SOMETHING STUPID ABOUT THE ART ON THE WALL. THE SPANISH MAID SHUFFLES IN, TALKING THAT PIGEON LANGUAGE OF HERS RAPIDAMENTE. SHE LEADS JUNIOR TO THE GARAGE, WHERE MOM AND HER FRIEND, ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS PIPER LAURIE (THE HUSTLER), ARE WAAAASTED. WHEN MOM SEES CHARLES, SHE HAS THE COMMON MINI-FREAKOUT THAT WHITE PEOPLE HAVE ANY TIME A BIG STRAPPING BLACK MAN ENTERS THEIR CAR AND ATTEMPTS TO REMOVE THEM FROM IT. AGAIN, NICE WRITING BY ROTH! MY MAN! NORMAN JEWISON AIN’T GOT SHIT ON THIS GUY! MARTIN RITT? EAT MY ASS WITH SOME CRACKERS! THE MEN CARRY MOM OUT OF HER BENZ AND INTO THE BEDROOM, WHERE SHE PASSES OUT. PIPER LAURIE FLIRTS WITH CHARLES; HE WOULD TOTALLY HIT THAT IF JUNIOR AND HIS MOM WEREN’T IN THE ROOM.

JUNIOR’S EMBARRASSED BY HIS MOTHER AND THE DEPTHS BY WHICH EVEN BORED BEVERLY HILLS HOUSEWIVES WILL GO JUST TO GET GOOD AND GASSED IN THE AGE OF ELECTRIC CAN-OPENERS.

TO HELP GET HIS MIND OFF THINGS, JUNIOR INVITES CHARLES TO JOIN HIM FOR A NIGHT ON THE TOWN. THEY GO TO SOME SWINGING HOUSE OF SPIRITS, WHERE CANDI STATON’S COVER OF THE BEEGEES SONG “NIGHTS ON BROADWAY” IS PLAYING WHEN THEY MAKE THE SCENE. JUNIOR SEEMS TO KNOW EVERYBODY IN THE JOINT. AT THE BAR, CHARLES ORDERS A COURVOISIER ON THE ROCKS, WHILE JUNIOR, KEEPING IT LOW-KEY, ORDERS A CUERVO GOLD NEAT WITH A LIME. SUDDENLY, THE BOSS’ SON BECOMES A STEELY DAN SONG.

CHARLES GETS JAZZED AND CUTS IN WITH SOME BLONDE SHAKING HER STUFF OUT ON THE FLOOR. BOOGIE FEVER. THIS IS PRESUMABLY THE BEGINNING OF A VERY LONG NIGHT OF DEBAUCHERY. SADLY, WE DON’T GET TO SEE ANY OF IT.

THE NEXT DAY, JUNIOR AND CHARLES ARE VERY LATE TO WORK.  

THEY GET THE STINK-EYE FROM BIG AL, WHO GIVES JUNIOR A PASS AND CHARLES A TALKING-TO, BROTHER TO BROTHER.

JUNIOR JOINS POPS AND BUDDY FOR A DAY AT THE COUNTRY CLUB. AFTER SOME GOLF, THEY DINE AT THE RESTAURANT, WHERE BUDDY AND JUNIOR BUTT HEADS OVER BUDDY’S INSISTENCE THAT THE DRIVERS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MISSING CARPETS.

BUDDY USES THE WAITER AS AN EXAMPLE WHEN MAKING A LONG-WINDED POINT ABOUT HOW LOW-PAYING JOBS ESSENTIALLY MAKE WORKERS MORE PRONE TO STEAL FROM THEIR EMPLOYERS.

THE FACT THAT BUDDY’S RIGHT DOESN’T CHANGE THAT FACT THAT HE’S A COCKSUCKER WHO USES POPPERS WHEN HE MAKES LOVE TO MEN IN PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

ON THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS. CHARLES GETS SNUBBED BY ONE OF THE REGS ON HIS ROUTE, WHO DOESN’T LEAVE HIM WITH A CUSTOMARY BOTTLE OF BOOZE FOR CHRISTMAS. IT’S TRUE. IF YOU’RE A COURIER OF ANY KIND AND IT’S THE HOLIDAYS, YOUR REGULAR CUSTOMERS ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING (OR VICE VERSA). JUNIOR DOESN’T GET WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT.

OLD MAN ROSE HAS A MEETING WITH THE FELLAS TO EXPLAIN THAT THERE AREN’T GONNA BE ANY CHRISTMAS BONUSES COMING. TIMES ARE TOUGH, YOU KNOW. I RESPECT EMPLOYERS WHO GIVE THESE KIND OF PEP TALKS, DIFFICULT AS THEY ARE TO STOMACH; LEST WE FORGET THE MORE POPULAR ALTERNATIVE, WHICH MOST OF US UNDERPAID SLOBS HAVE GROWN TO ACCUSTOMED TO IN THE YEARS SINCE THE BOSS’ SON, WHICH IS, OF COURSE, NO EXPLANATION AT ALL... JUST THE OLD SHUT-UP-AND-BE-HAPPY-YOU-STILL-GOT-A-JOB.

NICE SHOT OF JUNIOR WITH HIS YOUNGER SELF.

JUNIOR COMMISERATES WITH KEN, THE SADDEST, GUILTIEST LOOKING GUY IN THE BUNCH, WHO IS TOO BROKEN UP TO ATTEND THE STAFF PARTY. HE HAS TO GO HOME AND FEED HIS EIGHT KIDS. HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES? AND HE AIN’T EVEN MEXICAN!

NOT THAT HE’S MISSING MUCH. EVERYONE’S DEPRESSED. THEY HOLD THEIR TINY PAYCHECKS AND MOPE AROUND. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

CHRIS MULKEY SLIDES IN LIKE A PUNK AND TELLS EVERYONE HE’S JUST BEEN FIRED FOR BEING A WISE-ASS LITTLE PUNK. HEY, THIS AIN’T PATTI ROCKS, PAL. HIT THE BRICKS!

JUNIOR CONFRONTS BUDDY ABOUT FIRING CHRIS MULKEY. BUDDY SAYS HE FIRED CHRIS MULKEY COS CHRIS MULKEY’S A WISE-ASS PUNK, AND ANY PUNK WHO TRIES THE SAME SHIT IS GONNA GET THE SAME TREATMENT. FINALLY, TO ACCENT HIS POINT, BUDDY SPRAYS SOME BINACA IN HIS MOUTH LIKE A TRUE G.

WHILE JUNIOR’S GRILLING BUDDY, CLEO, THE ONLY CHICK WHO WORKS THE FACTORY LINE, STARTS BITCHING OUT THE GUYS IN THE OFFICE FOR NEVER STEPPING UP AND DEMANDING A BETTER WAGE.

JUNIOR CATCHES THE TAIL END OF CLEO’S RAP AND FOLLOWS HER OUT TO HER VW BUG TO AWKWARDLY ASK IF HE CAN BOOGIE WITH HER BODY AND OFFICIALLY SCRATCH BROWN SUGAR OFF HIS BUCKET LIST. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY JUNIOR HAS CHOSEN CLEO, WHO, LET’S FACE IT, LOOKS LIKE A LESBIAN FOLK SINGER. BUT, HEY, THIS IS AMERICA. WE INVENTED DIFFERENT STROKES. ANYWAY, CLEO TURNS HIM DOWN. SHE’S GOTTA GO HOME AND FIX HAMBURGER HELPER FOR HER KIDS.

“Now look’a here, lil whiteboy, I’s seen ‘em comes and I’s seen ‘em disappear, and nobody does it better than a Texas steer.”

ON THE LOADING DOCK, CHARLES ASKS JUNIOR IF HE’LL TALK TO HIS FATHER ABOUT PROMOTING HIM TO A SALES POSITION. JUNIOR TELLS CHARLES THE GODAWFUL TRUTH: HIS FATHER WILL NEVER PROMOTE SOME RAGTIME SOUL BROTHER TO A RESPECTED POSITION AT HIS COMPANY, AND NEITHER WOULD JUNIOR.

OUCH.

OVER TAKEOUT CHINESE, THE ROSE FAMILY PERFORMS ITS VERSION OF CHRISTMAS. 

MOM’S DRUNK ON PLUM WINE. SHE TELLS POPS TO TELL EVERYONE THE LATEST DEPRESSING NEWS.

IT SEEMS OLD MAN ROSE WENT DOWN TO THE BANK TO GET A LOAN, IN HOPES OF FLOATING THE BUSINESS UNTIL THE DOWNTURN ENDS, AND WAS DENIED.

THEN BUDDY REVEALS HE’S PLANNING TO LEAVE THE COMPANY FOR SOMETHING MORE SECURE. AFTER THAT, EVERYONE AT THE TABLE JOINS IN THE CLASSIC JEWISH AMERICAN PASTIME OF YELLING AT EACH OTHER.

JUNIOR STORMS OUT WITH HIS DATE, WHO HE PROMPTLY DUMPS BACK AT HER PARENT’S. THEN HE TAKES TO THE SAVAGE STREETS, TROLLING FOR COOZE. NEXT STOP, DARKTOWN USA.

JUNIOR SHOWS UP AT CLEO’S PAD. SHE TELLS HIM HER FEELINGS HAVEN’T CHANGED IN THE SIX HOURS SINCE SHE SAW HIM LAST, BUT THAT HE CAN SACK OUT ON HER COUCH IF HE SO WISHES.

JUNIOR TAKES CLEO UP ON HER OFFER. BUT HE CAN’T SLEEP BECAUSE THE VINYL COVER ON HER COUCH MAKES TOO MUCH NOISE. HE DECIDES TO GIVE CLEO ONE LAST SHOT AND GOES IN HER BEDROOM TO LEER AT HER BENEATH THE COVERS.

JUNIOR HAS A MOMENT OF CLARITY, WHEN HE DECIDES TO LEAVE THIS POOR WOMAN ALONE. BUT JUST AS HE MAKES TO LEAVE, CLEO TURNS TO HIM AND ASKS WHY HE DIDN’T JUST WHIP IT OUT AND DO IT, BABY. JUNIOR LEANS OVER AND KISSES CLEO ON THE FOREHEAD AND SAYS GOODNIGHT.

ALL THE GUYS FROM THE FACTORY MEET UP IN SOME PARK TO PARTY. CHRIS MULKEY PULLS UP ON HIS KAWASAKI, CHARLES SITTING BITCH.

THIS IS A GAME WE USED TO PLAY CALLED HOOPS FOR HEADS. EVERYBODY MEETS IN THE PARK AFTER SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS, WITH SOMEBODY BRINGING A CASE OF BEER AND SOMEBODY ELSE BRINGING SOME GRASS. EVERYBODY GETS GOOD AND RIPPED AND READY TO SLAY ON THE COURT. ALSO, EVERYONE SPORTS REALLY BRIGHT ATHLETIC WEAR SO NO ONE GETS LOST TRYING TO FIND THE HEAD.

CHRIS MULKEY DOESN’T LIKE JUNIOR. THIS IS BLATANTLY OBVIOUS WHEN THEY’RE PLAYING BALL BECAUSE HOOPS IS ONE OF THOSE PRIMAL GAMES WHERE YOUR TRUE FEELINGS FOR YOUR OPPONENT WILL COME TO THE FORE, IT SIMPLY CAN’T HIDE; THE OBJECT IS TO USE ONE’S BRAWN TO INTIMIDATE AND CONQUER.

IT ISN’T LONG BEFORE EMOTIONS GET THE BEST OF THESE TWO DUDES AND THEY START FIGHTING. MOST GUYS AREN’T GONNA JUST WAIL ON THE BOSS’ KID, BUT CHRIS MULKEY DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK, HE’S ALREADY FIRED.

LATER, A BRUISED JUNIOR COMES HOME AND CATCHES POPS BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL. OBSERVING THE AGONY OF POP’S SITUATION  CAUSES JUNIOR TO FEEL A RARE MOMENT OF LOVE FOR HIS POPS.

THE NEXT MORNING, JUNIOR GOES TO WORK EARLY AND NOSES AROUND THE OFFICE, WHERE HE FIND A PICTORIAL TIMELINE OF THE ROSE COMPANY.

THEN JUNIOR BUMPS INTO THE NERVOUS GUY, KEN, WHO’S MAINLINING FOLGERS LIKE IT’S GOING OUT OF STYLE.

CHARLES ASKS HOW JUNIOR’S CHRISTMAS WAS.

“[Santa Claus] skips the Jews.”

“Well, I guess he figures every day is Christmas for you folks.”

L.A. STILL LOOKS LIKE THIS. ONLY THE CARS AND THE PEOPLE HAVE CHANGED.

AT ONE STOP, JUNIOR AND CHARLES GET WORD THAT THEY NEED TO PHONE THE OFFICE, SOMETHING’S UP.

CHARLES GETS ON THE HORN. HE GETS THE DEETS ON A RUN TO RECOVER AN AWOL TRUCK.

THE BOSS’ SON REALLY NAILS THE PROSAIC GRIME OF L.A. LIKE FEW FILMS DO.

JUNIOR AND CHARLES HAPPEN ON KEN’S TRUCK. THERE’S COPS ON THE SCENE, WHICH IS NEVER GOOD. SOME CHICK’S TAKING PICTURES FOR HER CAMPUS PAPER.

WHEN CHARLES ASKS ONE OF THE COPS WHERE THE DRIVER (KEN) IS AT, THE COP NONCHALANTLY SAYS KEN BLEW HIS HEAD OFF.

THE COPS WANT JUNIOR TO INSPECT THE PAPERWORK IN KEN’S TRUCK AND ENSURE EVERYTHING’S KOSHER.

JUNIOR TELLS CHARLES HE’LL DRIVE KEN’S TRUCK BACK TO THE FACTORY.

WHEN CHARLES AND JUNIOR RETURN, ALL THE WORKERS ARE SITTING AROUND THE OFFICE. THE FIRST THING ANYBODY ASKS ABOUT IS THE CLIPBOARD WITH ALL OF KEN’S ORDERS AND INVOICES. SOMETHING AIN’T RIGHT.

CHARLES VOLUNTEERS TO UNLOAD THE REST OF THE CARPET THAT KEN DIDN’T GET TO.

IT’S THEN JUNIOR REALIZES ALL THE DRIVERS ARE IN ON THE ACTION, THEIR COVER BLOWN BY KEN’S SUICIDE.

JUNIOR STORMS OUT OF THE OFFICE. CHARLES FOLLOWS HIM AND THEY HAVE A VERY OVERWROUGHT EXCHANGE ON THE LOADING DOCK. THE RAIN HAS STARTED AND THIS MIGHT AS WELL BE AN ELIA KAZAN MOVIE FROM THE FIFTIES. GOD, I HATE SCENES LIKE THIS.

JUNIOR WALKS AWAY FROM CHARLES, WHO YELLS SOME WEAK-ASS SHIT GUYS LIKE TO SAY TO OTHER GUYS WHEN THEY WANT TO MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE ASSHOLES FOR WALKING AWAY. 

CHARLES KNOWS HE’S FUCKED.

JUNIOR GETS IN HIS BMW AND GOES ON A SPIRITUAL QUEST INTO THE HEART OF L.A.’S DARKNESS WHILE A RICHIE HAVENS SONG CALLED “WHY DON’T YOU WALK AWAY” PLAYS.

... CHICKS WITH DICKS WORK THE LONELY STREETS...

...AND THE 3rd STREET TUNNEL (BLADE RUNNER, LESS THAN ZERO, ET AL) PROVIDES ITS USUAL HALLUCINATORY OPTICS.

JUNIOR ENDS UP AT ANOTHER QUINTESSENTIALLY L.A. VENUE FOR EXISTENTIAL ANGST, THE ALL-NIGHT BURGER STAND, WHERE WEEK-OLD SLABS OF PASTRAMI ARE OVER-SALTED AND SOLD AS-IS TO SAD SLOBS ON THEIR WAY HOME FROM THE BAR.

WHEN JUNIOR GETS HOME, HE FINDS HIS MOTHER UP MAKING COFFEE. A LOT OF OLD PEOPLE LIKE TO DRINK COFFEE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE, HEY, THE CLOCK IS TICKING AND THEY’D RATHER STAY UP.

JUNIOR TELLS HIS MOM THE DRIVERS HAVE BEEN STEALING FROM THE COMPANY.

MOM TELLS JUNIOR HE’LL HAVE TO TELL HIS FATHER, EVEN THOUGH IT’S GOING TO KILL HIM.

SO HE DOES.

OLD MAN ROSE MAKES THE DRIVERS SIGN SOME SORT OF LETTER OF RESIGNATION AND/OR ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF THEIR WRONGDOING.

ONLY BIG AL IS SPARED, MOSTLY BECAUSE THE BALLJAZZ IN HIS GOLF PANTS IS KINDA UPLIFTING IN SUCH A GRAVE MOMENT OF SADNESS AND REGRET.

RUDY SOLARI KILLS IT AS OLD MAN ROSE. I BUY EVERY WORD HE SAYS. JUST A MENSCH, THROUGH AND THROUGH. I HOPE BOBBY ROTH WAS SATISFIED WITH SOLARI’S PERFORMANCE, AS THE CHARACTER, I’M ASSUMING, IS WRITTEN VERY CLOSE TO HIS OWN POPS.

POPS TELLS JUNIOR IT’S TIME TO GO HOME.

OUTSIDE, THEY’RE ACCOSTED BY CHARLES, WHO BEGS OLD MAN ROSE FOR HIS JOB BACK. POPS TELLS HIM HE CAN’T HELP HIM. IF I WASN’T SO ANXIOUS TO FINISH THIS MOVIE, I’D WRITE SOME KIND OF EPITAPH FOR CHARLES. (OK: STOP SPLOOGING ALL OVER THAT PRECIOUS TONE POEM KILLER OF SHEEP, YOU CINEMA FAGS, AND DIG HENRY SANDERS’ ROLE IN THE BOSS’ SON.)

AFTER CHARLES GOES AWAY, JUNIOR TELLS HIS FATHER HE DOESN’T WANT ANY PART OF THE BUSINESS, HE’S OUT. POPS IS TAKEN ABACK, THE SHOCK QUICKLY TURNING TO ANGER. THE FLICK ENDS ON ANOTHER KAZAN-LIKE NOTE, WITH JUNIOR WALKING AWAY FROM HIS POPS, ENTERING THE DARK PARKING LOT OF LIFE AS OLD MAN ROSE’S VOICE RINGS OUT:

“Somebody’s got to be the boss!”

YEAH, WELL, THAT INSIGHT AND FIFTY CENTS WILL GET YOU A CUP OF COFFEE, POPS. THE END.

[uacboo]

Dovecotes (doocots in Scotland) form prominent features in the landscape of many parts of the country. Many have survived for centuries because of their substantial construction, and their architecture is generally a perfect expression of local craftsmanship. They have an appeal to anyone with an eye for architectural form and express a substantial degree of functionalism in their design. They also represent a reflection of national architectural tradition; it is unlikely that anyone would mistake the charming Butt Mouse dovecote in Herefordshire, built of black and white half-timberwork on a base of red brick, with the robust thickwalled solid stone doocots of Scotland. Their main interest for Conservation Officers lies in the facts that they are usually Statutorily Listed as Buildings of Special Historic or Architectural Interest, are often Ancient Monuments and may unfortunately frequently fall into the category of Building at Risk.

The earliest form of dovecotes were those converted from natural caves or cut into rock, ‘coo caves’. The Romans kept pigeons in a columbarium or peristeron and are recorded as being “mad with the love of pigeons; building towers for them on the tops of their roofs”. The earliest in Britain which still exists is within the Norman keep of Rochester Castle and dated 1126, and the oldest free-standing dovecot is at Garway, Herefordshire dated 1326. The earliest surviving Scottish doocots date from the 16th century with the oldest, dated 1576, being at Mertoun House, St Boswells.

Prior to the 18th century, doocots were a standard feature of Scottish landed estates. They are particularly numerous in Fife and the Lothians because estates in these areas were relatively small and consisted of mainly rich arable land producing fine agricultural crops which provided an excellent source of food for the pigeons. Doocots were also the legal right of abbeys, castles and monasteries, and many existing examples are associated with these uses.

To continue reading about doocots from The Institute of Historic Building Conservation: http://www.ihbc.org.uk/context_archive/57/doocots/scotland.html Image and caption are from Instagram

[killingthebuddha]

First published in 2013, this epistolary essay by KtB editors Ashley Makar and Briallen Hopper appears in Briallen’s new book, Hard to Love, a collection of essays on love and friendship which drops on February 5th. You can order Hard to Love here.

Dear Bri,

A gift sits on my writing desk. A gift penned in your hand, in Flannery’s voice, as if she’s speaking from the grave:

For me it is the virgin birth, the Incarnation, the resurrection

which are the true laws of the flesh and the physical.

Death, decay, destruction

are the suspension of those laws.

I am always astonished

at the emphasis the church

puts on the body.

It is not the soul she says

that will rise

but the body, glorified.

–Flannery O’Connor, in a letter to Betty Hester, 1955

You’ve written me this, given me this, in a vintage sketchbook, a vellum-colored page, each letter embellished just so: the crosses of T’s looping into the shoelace tops of H’s, F’s shaped like infinity symbols standing upright, each cursive S a leaf.

The first period is like a tiny kite, no string. The second, a red dwarf becoming a star. The last, a little leaning cross. I didn’t notice the shape until I looked hard trying to describe the gift, trying to give the words all my attention. Now I see the D in Death like a treble clef, unraveling. I see ASTONISHED and BODY as an epitaph, magnifying. As if through a tear, brightly.

Simone Weil wrote that prayer is absolute, undivided attention. And that’s what it takes to be a writer like Flannery, the kind of writers we want to be. Vigilant flames sustained and made into the words we need. I fail at that every day; I fall on my face. And you help me up. If I told you my self-loathing spiral of today you’d show me all the Christmas ornaments you polished while you were trying to write: the white globe with the red mallards, the iridescent rocking horse, the silver angel holding a candle. We’d laugh at that little blond angel face of forlorn piety. We’d light our own candle to try and write by.

Flannery tells God that it’s at some insipid moment, when she’s possibly thinking of floor wax or pigeon eggs that the opening of a beautiful prayer may come and lead her to write something exalted. The prayer availing itself seems to be a gesture of the grace young Flannery is praying for. And her response to that action of grace is her work, her strain to give it attention, undivided.

A pigeon egg hatches into a map of the universe, a peacock’s tail. Another world unfurls. And yet, “How hard it is to keep any one intention, any one attitude toward a piece of work any one tone anyone anything,” she writes. “Dear God, I am so discouraged about my work.” She’s even discouraged about her prayer—how she’s never been sorry for a sin because it hurt God. I bet Flannery’s sins were pretty innocuous—“gluttony” for Scottish oatmeal cookies, “laziness” in writing and prayer. And yet she tried and worked so hard. She suffered much in her labors of fierce love.

I’d hate to believe my gluttony for Golden Grahams or all my tactics of distraction from writing and prayer hurt God. But I know they hurt me. They keep me from the life I want; they separate me from God. In that sense, they are sins. And Flannery is helping me take those sins seriously and honestly: “I am afraid of pain and I suppose that is what we have to have to get grace. Give me the courage to stand the pain to get the grace, Oh Lord. Help me with this life that seems so treacherous, so disappointing.”

Life seemed so treacherous, so disappointing the day you gave me that illuminated Flannery manuscript. I’d fallen three times trying to walk on icy sidewalks. Blisters were forming on the bottoms of my feet—chemo catching up with me. I’d missed another writing deadline for no good reason. It pained me to look at the pink-orange sky because I failed to write it. I felt like an old lady, a hoarder holed up in a dim room looking through the blinds at the menace of daylight. But I didn’t give in to her. I told you I was having a bad day.

You invited me over. You gave me that gift. You opened a window. Light shined on the table laid bare for writing, trying again.

Ash

*

Dearest Ash,

I just read the whole Prayer Journal in the bath, in the facsimile version (checking confusing scribbles against the transcription from time to time).  Flannery’s young handwriting on wide-ruled pages seems so much closer than the printed and corrected text.  In the quiet and warmth I somehow felt the aura of the archive; I knew the book was just a book, but it felt precious, and instinctively I clutched it tight so the historic manuscript wouldn’t fall into the suds.

There’s so much to tell you, but what I wanted to say first, almost to warn you, is that she prays for desire like a deadly cancer, desire as consuming and overwhelming as your cancer wants to be.  She prays for suffering and for grace.  Her friend who edited the book seems to see her lupus, which arrived a few years later, as an answer to prayer.  I think about this young woman of appetites and ambition and I hate to think that God read her earnest scribbling and sent her death, but then if you must suffer it is of course better if the suffering helps your writing and your faith.  I am using the generic second person here, but I mean you, dear Ash.  I love you, and I leave this practical theology to you.

I don’t know much about suffering, but I know about writing stress and night-eating and erotic thought.  (“Today I have proved myself a glutton—for Scotch oatmeal cookies and erotic thought.  There is nothing left to say of me”:  the most irresistibly quotable lines in the journal, and some of the best concluding lines in literature.)  I’m almost fifteen years older than Flannery was then, and Lord knows I have filled up several shelves of blank books with similar confessions, though I prefer ice cream and erotic thought to oatmeal cookies.

Somewhere I have the old journals I wrote to God when I was Flannery’s age.  I was fighting through some of the same things she was, the conflict between self and faith, the battle for attentiveness and gratitude, the desires for experience, publication, grace, and God, though I lacked her genius and her Catholic clarity. It’s not that these conflicting desires have gone away, it’s just that I gave up on serious striving so long ago, and I am still not sure how to be ambitious without what Flannery calls “nervousness.” I have made a truce with life that I don’t want to trouble, and it’s not clear to me where the urgency and tenacity would come from to write something good, even if I had the talent.

I rarely write private prayers to God anymore:  I avoid unguarded introspection in general, the kind that is open to the future and full of desire.

Bri

Dear God,

Why am I such a dull lump? You give us leaven and salt and the moon shoaling blue, even as new daylight glades into morning. I want to wake early to write by that imperceptible changing of light when you can’t tell if it’s dark still or day yet. Sometimes you give me, on the cusp of waking from sleep, words, arranging themselves as if in the corners of the ceiling, lines fine and fragile as gossamer, the unseen seam between death and life. And I press snooze. Ten more minutes and ten more and so on, until those strands of You are lost to me. I’m not saying you’re fragile, Lord, nor that I could lose You. But my sense of Your nearness is tenuous, my attention too feeble most of the time to even see those strands of You, much less write them.

Lord, help me to sit here and tolerate this mangle of words. The belabored metaphors that mar the page, the lame turns of phrase I cross out and then try to save.  Help me stand the pain to get the grace.

Help me sit here and work every day. I’ll mess up most of the time and blunder, sometimes, back to the blue glow of daybreak.

Ash

*

Dear Bri,

Thank you! For naming how I want to pray—open and full of desire. If only my drive to write were as voracious as my cancer. And yet I don’t want anything so consuming anymore. I worry I’m too scared and tired to strive like I used to.

Flannery was going on 22 when she wrote God from Iowa: “Oh Lord please make this dead desire living, living in life, living as it will probably have to live in suffering. I feel too mediocre now to suffer.” I was around that age when I wrote this prayer from New York:

to write You, Lord

to write You

to Write.

And here I am, thirteen years later, a cancer patient, terrified of writing. My body is slowly unraveling, and I can hardly sit still. I dart from thing to thing, like a squirrel, frantic to get all my living in before I get sick. Dividing and dividing my attention. What happened to my dire desire to write God?

“It is hard to want to suffer,” young Flannery writes. “I presume Grace is necessary for the want. I am a mediocre of the spirit but there is hope. I am at least of the spirit and that means alive.”

Three years later, her body started dying, on her train ride home for Christmas.

Her friend W.A. Sessions writes that she left Connecticut a vibrant young woman and arrived in Georgia “drawn and bent, ‘like an old man.’” She’d had her first flare of lupus on the train. I wonder what she prayed. (I bet it was about writing.)

Most days I don’t know what to say to God. I don’t want to suffer. I want the grace to stand the pain.

Ash

*

Hello again dear Ash,

It’s December now and you’re here at my house for a day of writing and pumpkin chili in the glow of the Christmas lights. I love our writing days together. I love how almost every time I see you we light a candle and pray. When we’re out together we even pray in restaurants, like a Norman Rockwell painting.

I found my old journals.

July 24, 2001

Writing is hard.  Writing is different from more routine forms of work, writers tend to be more flukey and various in the ways they work. …  I am usually fairly miserable, very tense, quite caffeinated, tired (buzzing!), and late.  Sometimes there are brief thrills or moments of satisfaction.  Most of the time I am frustrated and scared and just want to read mysteries and eat comfort food, my idea of heaven.

July 31, 2001

There is a desire to escape work, to use God to let you off the hook, seeking for a guarantee of spiritual purity attainable by industry, passivity, withdrawal, inaction.   BUT God requires us to give, to serve, to think … he doesn’t make it easier.  MLK Jr. couldn’t just stand around getting beat up; he had to think, plan, pray, take responsibility, take risks.

September 1, 2001

Re work, grad school apps—I can wholly apply myself to the present tasks, straining and rejoicing and exhausting myself.  Remembering what the stakes are!  No, professional life can’t be separated from “real” life, it is a part of “real” life, but God’s standards are different.  He looks at the heart; and the state of a heart that is right with God is never inert.  My heart rejoices to do God’s will.

Faith is necessary.  All my instincts will be panic and self-preservation.  I must resist them.

I panicked that day you fell on the ice. When you texted to tell me about your blistering feet, I let my tears take me over for an hour. I thought:  There is nothing to be done.  Then:  Writing is what you do when there is nothing to be done.

In the absence of adequate words of my own, I found Flannery’s, and I found comfort in the practice of writing as a physical act, as if the pressure of my pen against the paper could push away the forces of death and decay.  As if the gold ink could become a healing balm.

Bri

Dear Flannery,

You write, “I do not mean to deny the traditional prayers I have said all my life; but I have been saying them and not feeling them.”

My own prayers have gotten more traditional since the days I wrote them out and I admit I mostly feel them less, but I mean them just as much.   I am a believer in rationing feelings these days.  I wonder if you rationed yours any in your thirties?  As another famous Southern lady once said, “Honey, you know as well as I do that a single girl, a girl alone in the world has got to keep a firm hold on her emotions or she’ll be lost!”

As it happens, it was two days before September 11, 2001 when I wrote this urgent prayer:  “Now I am immeasurably blessed.  At any moment this could all be taken.  I need to love you now so I can love you always.  All the people who harm the body but cannot harm the soul:  make them completely unable to harm.”  My prayer was not answered.  I didn’t expect it to be, but I didn’t expect it to be so spectacularly ignored.  Still, I have never stopped praying.

September 14, 2001 In lives, this is where Jesus lives in the world; my body can be part of his body.  I’m not a naturally religious person but that doesn’t matter. I’m taken into his body.

For a long time in the mornings I’ve lit a candle in the pewter holder that says “All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well,” and I name all the people and places that I want so much to be well.  On my teaching days I pray for my students (ha!).  On my writing days I hesitate to pray for my writing, because I worry it won’t go well and I don’t want my faith in prayer to dissipate, and my prayers for writing feel optional in a way that my prayers for other people and the world do not.

I pray with the red cloth-bound Book of Common Prayer my grandma received when she was confirmed at age 32, in the midst of her losing battle with life-threatening mental illness.  Sometimes I read the psalms of the day, and sometimes I skim for one that will say what is in my heart, looking at the Latin titles and guessing what they mean:  Hear me.  Lean toward me.  Judge me.  Be merciful.  God is light.  Wonderment.  Out of the depths.  Rejoice.

And I pray with the small dun Prayer Book for Soldiers and Sailors my grandpa got for Christmas in 1943, a battered book literally designed to be used in foxholes.  It has prayers for help, for protection, for aid against perils, for world peace, for grace to forgive, for prisoners, for the lonely, for those who mourn, for the wounded, for the dying, for one departed.

In the evenings I light a candle in the pewter holder that says “At night I give my troubles to God.  She’s going to be up all night anyway.”  This summer Ash and I lit candles for you at your church in Milledgeville, in front of the brightly painted Virgin.  I didn’t write a prayer for you, or say one; I just let a prayer float up to you where you were sitting up all night with God, waiting for your body to rise and share forever in the glory of your soul.

Bri

*

Dear Flan,

I’m on the train from New Haven to Boston. I feel as if I’m looking out the window into a snow globe. Except the snow isn’t flakes, suspended in a circle of glass. It looks more like sand, storming side to side. I can all but feel the grains on my eyes.

I suppose with all these qualifiers snow globe isn’t the right image for the view out my window. You would sit with it, suffer with it, until the words came. But I look away, take another sip of coffee, another bite of clementine. I watch the gulls scuttle up a rusty pole in the river—a remnant of a pier a storm tore up?

Even though I’ve divided my attention, another image is given. Light sears, silver vermillion, over the broken trees. A shock of radiation, bone lightning. Ezekiel raving God raising the dead.

A startle of sun blares white. I close one eye and see the stark circle it is. A center that holds. And yet a yolk I know could burst and seep like a bleed in the brain. Grandmother after the stroke—her body, half paralyzed. The little slanting cross. The sign of the body, glorified.

Ash

[zillowcondo]

The Best Luxury Destinations Worldwide That You Can’t Miss

There are so many amazing destinations that it can be hard knowing where to travel to next. If you’re looking for inspiration, we’ve come up with our pick of the best luxury destinations for 2018. From beach retreats to city breaks, there’s something for every taste.

Best Luxury Destinations Worldwide

African Destinations

South Africa

South Africa has always been popular for its superb wildlife and vibrant restaurant scene but exchange rates make it particularly favourable to visit right now. If you’re looking to see the Big Five – buffalos, elephants, leopards, lions and rhino, then you stand a very good chance on a safari here. Many of the game reserves are malaria-free, as an added advantage. Yet South Africa is also a mecca for its whale watching in Hermanus and cheeky baboons at Cape Point. The Garden Route takes you past unspoiled beaches at Plettenberg Bay as well as world-class wineries.

Asian Destinations

Japan

With ANA’s new direct flights from Chicago and New York to Haneda, it’s much easier to reach Tokyo. There’s also a new bullet train from Tokyo to Hokkaido, making the North of Japan much more accessible. Many luxurious new hotels such as Aman’s pared down Amanemu are opening up and the upcoming 2020 Olympics will place Japan even further in the spotlight. Head to Oita Prefecture, which will host some of the Olympic rugby matches, for the spectacular scenery and the onsen. It has the most hot spring baths in Japan. If you’re visiting Tokyo, Japan Greeters is a great way to meet the locals on a complimentary guided tour of the city’s attractions.

Maldives

There are concerns that The Maldives may be sinking due to climate change and that many of the islands will vanish within a number of years. Many of the islands are less than 1 or 2 meters above sea level and the soft soil is another contributing factor to the erosion of the land. The area of Baa Atoll has UNESCO Biosphere Reserve status and other atolls have applied for it. The world’s largest all-glass underwater restaurant, Hurawahli, is an excellent place to admire the sealife and hotels such as The Four Seasons have established marine conservation projects.

Mongolia

Mongolia might seem like an unusual choice as a holiday destination yet it is opening up to tourism thanks to the imminent opening of Nubia, aka New Ulaan Baatar International Airport. For such a huge yet sparsely populated country, it has a surprising number of high-end hotels such as the Kempinski Khan Palace and the Shangri-La. Follow in the footsteps of Genghis Khan across the steppes or grassland, for a trip like no other. You’ll encounter dzo, a cross between cattle and yak, as well as camels in the Gobi Desert. Stay for a night or two in a round tents known as ger or yurts for a true taste of life as a nomad.

Caribbean Destinations

Mexico

For white sand beaches, impressive ruins and friendly locals, Mexico is hard to beat. A new Caribbean resort area, Mayakoba, has been designed in close collaboration with biologists and geologists to integrate into the environment. Luxurious hotels including the Banyan Tree Mayakoba, Rosewood Mayakoba Suites, Fairmont Mayakoba and Hyatt Andaz Mayakoba lie next to stunning beaches and mangroves. There’s a world-class golf course created by Greg Norman and El Pueblito, a charming market square inspired by a traditional Mexican village. It’s an easy transfer from Cancun to Riviera Maya yet the resort’s eco charm is an oasis of calm.

Central, North and South America Destinations

Belize

This country in Central America has an interesting mix of cultures. Although English is the official language, Creole and Spanish are both spoken in certain regions. There’s a wealth of natural attractions including dense jungle and the Great Blue Hole, named by Jacques Cousteau as one of the top 10 diving sites in the world. The ancient Mayan temples of Belize are well worth a visit and there are daily flights from many cities in Latin America, Canada and the States. Ecotourism is popular here and there are some stunning hotels and private villas dotted around the island.

Bermuda

This island in the Saragossa Sea is well known for the famous shorts and also for its world-class golfing and stunning pink sand beaches. Although you might think that it’s in the Caribbean, it’s actually part of British North America. If you’re lucky, you might spot the rare Cahow, Bermuda’s national bird that was thought to be extinct for nearly 300 years until it was rediscovered in 1951. The island is zika-free and there’s an abundance of luxury accommodation. In the words of Mark Twain, “You can go to heaven if you want. I’d rather stay in Bermuda.”

Canada

Canada is famous for its national parks, the Rocky Mountains and Niagara Falls. Canada Day is on 1 July and celebrations will be taking place in Ottawa, with a fireworks display on Parliament Hill and a street party, as well as Vancouver, Charlottetown and many other cities. Moreover, the exchange rate is very favourable for many travellers.

Cuba

This  island is one of the most atmospheric in the Caribbean. Cuba is famous for its pastel streets and vintage cars but its lush mountain landscapes and abundant wildlife are equally impressive. With the country opening up to tourism in increasing numbers, the time is ripe to see it before it changes for ever. Infrastructure has improved considerably over the last few years and it’s worth getting out of Havana to see some of the other 15th century cities and the attractive countryside. The Sagua-Baracoa Mountains is a tropical rain forest with many species of birds and the Jardines del rey archipelago is home to the second largest coral reef in the world.

Illinois, USA

Have you ever dreamt of travelling along Route 66? The iconic route starts in Chicago and continues through the state of Illinois before crossing 7 other states. There’s lots to see on the Illinois section of the route, from vintage diners to historic landmarks like the former home of Abraham Lincoln in Springfield.

European Destinations

Andalucia, Spain

This beautiful region of Spain has always been a favourite with visitors. It’sl now even easier to reach Andalucia from the UK thanks to regular flights from London Gatwick and London City, along with many flights to Malaga and Seville. Whether you choose to visit the Alhambra by day or by night, this Moorish masterpiece won’t disappoint. Granada is also well known for its tapas and is a good gateway to the rest of Andalucia including Seville and lesser known gems like Carmona, Jaen and Ubeda. There are lots of fun things to do in Marbella and nearby Puerto Banus too.

Hamburg, Germany

This elegant German city has many attractions for the visitor interested in the arts, including the new concert hall, Elbphilharmonie which is due to open in January. It’s a perfect place for a weekend break, with a huge lake for boating and a thriving food scene. Take a look around the UNESCO World Heritage listed Warehouse District, and if you have time, the picturesque riverside suburb of Blankenese is well worth a visit. The charming Hotel Louis C. Jacob is close by, and houses a Michelin starred restaurant.

Iceland

Fans of Game of Thrones are not the only ones flocking to Iceland in their droves. Famous for its dramatic landscape, it’s also a real foodie destination and the people are among the friendliest that you’ll ever meet. From February, a new Air Iceland flight will connect Keflavik International Airport to Akureyri. This northern area of Iceland will be known as the Diamond Circle. It includes many spectacular attractions such as Dettifoss waterfall and Lake Mývatn. Of course, the famous Golden Circle in the south is not to be missed for its waterfalls and geysers. The capital, Reykjavik, is also worthy of your time – don’t miss the view from the top of Hallgrímskirkja, the striking Lutheran church.

Ireland

Another one for Game of Thrones afficionados, Northern Ireland combines spectacular scenery with charming locals. West Ireland and in particular the Wild Atlantic Way is the setting for Star Wars Episodes VII and VIII. Both regions are known for their outdoor pursuits so whether you’re into walking, cycling, fishing or clay pigeon shooting you’ll love it here. As for Dublin, the city is compact yet has the largest city park in the world, Phoenix Park. Make time to visit Farmleigh, the official Irish state guest house, before heading back into town for a Guinness and a boxty, an Irish potato pancake in the lively Temple Bar area.

Italy

Visitors to Italy will be spoilt for choice as to which places to visit, from the hidden gems of Rome to picturesque Amalfi Coast towns and off the beaten path Venice attractions. One of the top Italian destinations for 2018 is Trieste, the capital city of Friuli Venezia Giulia in Northeast Italy. It has a beautiful medieval quarter as well as some striking Austro-Hungarian architecture. Try to visit for Barcolana, one of the largest sailing regattas in the world. It’s held every year in October and this year the 50th edition takes place from 5 – 14 October. To celebrate the 50th anniversary, there will be a fly-by at the start line from the Italian Air Force aerobatics team. Not only that, but there will be over 350 cultural, educational and sporting events on land and at sea.

Middle Eastern Destinations

Oman

Oman is an intriguing mix of tradition and modernity. Explore the picturesque capital of Muscat and its Grand Bazaar or take a desert safari by camel or 4×4. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can try quad biking or sand-boarding. There are many upscale hotels such as Alila, Anantara and Six Senses as well as a soon to be opened theme park, Majarat Oman. A drive along Wadi Ghul, Oman’s Grand Canyon, will lead to Jebel Shams, a 3000 meter mountain peak with superb views over the surrounding area.

We hope that you’ve enjoyed these suggestions of the best luxury destinations and that they inspire your wanderlust. Which places would you add to the list and where are you dreaming of travelling to this year?

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