#and nomi would know everything about them

[macabremayhem]

"– People are obsessed with love, looking for it and not getting what they really need. Fragile, stupid creatures. You consider love as a magical tool that can change the world and then you go around in circles. But your eyes are clouded with illusions. You think: if this love didn’t give me what I need, it is not "real". You are fascinated by the myth of true love. You think it would last for the rest of your life, understanding and healing everything. But love is just a myth.

Ilya looked up, his lips trembling.

– What am I looking for? I don’t really know, Quaestor Valdemar. But I know that you are... incapable of love. I know this and I have come to you willingly.

Quaestor is answered:

– You came to the sacrificial fire. Frankly, I’m impressed by your deep, desperate masochism. It’s attractive – how can predator be attracted to the easy prey. You came to me because you can no longer look for something in people – something they want too and can’t give you. A kind of the truth. However, perhaps you intuitively tried to give it to them.

You understand what I am. You’re not making any illusions about my personality. You’ve seen what I can do. Others have deceived you. But you still hope. Dum spiro, spero is your unfailing credo.

Valdemar went quiet for a while and then added, looking into Julian’s eyes:

– And like all men, you still worship love as a god. Funny. But… Nec deus intersit."

Text: Lunatic Sun

Art:

Sketch: chilledoutbeast

Colouring: wasteofplace

previous fragment:

[penguin--person]

i think it's really cool to imagine vace as transfem and here's why!!

so, first off, i wanna take a sec to explore the enviroment that vace grew up in.

it's easy to see the character we meet and think that he's always been like this, but he's 18 when we meet him. he grew up on the helios. what we see ingame is the result of 18 years spent being conditioned for these views. as my friend put it, "vace wouldn't have just popped out of the womb with toxic masculinity!!"

nomi says that there's not many (if any?) nonbinary people on the helios. i think its safe to assume that this extends to queer people as a whole. lum has a very gendered view of things - he adresses the crowd as "ladies and gentlemen", despite nomi, possibly sol, and most likely other nb people being there. given these things, there definetely wasn't a lot of room for experimentation on the helios.

speaking of lum - vace says that he's good friends with him. they're really good pals. he never says anything about friends his own age, though. sure, he's a leader, but that doesn't make the people following them his friends, even if he's on friendly terms with them. lum is the only person that vace considers a friend, i think.

another important part of his character imo that he wasn't always a leader. he says he used to be the runt of the litter, like rex. he only gained respect when he broke rex's arm, proving that he's worthy of that respect. he hurts more people to gain more respect after that, until he becomes the person we meet.

it's so... he earned this. he worked for it. roles of leadership, especially in the military, are typically seen as masculine.

with all that said, i want to delve into why it adds a new cool and interesting layer to his character if you read him as transfem.

he's 100% repressing it. he's refusing to acknowledge this part of himself because he's a Leader. accepting that he's part of the group he's been taught to see as 'other' - that he's part of the group he's abused - would complicate things. what would the soldiers that follow him think? vace isnt 'other', obviously, hes their leader!! but also she's trans?? what're they supposed to do now?? this goes against all that they've been taught - all that he's taught them!!

that doesn't really matter, though, because i don't think vace would ever come out. he likes being a leader too much. he enjoys the violence he partakes in. takes pride in it, even. he's not gonna give that up for... what, gender euphoria?

coming out, transitioning, when just acknowledging that he's trans would mean letting go of everything he's worked for. but he's earned this. he deserves to keep this.

even if he did come out: what would good would that do him? he can't just out with the stratos. he can't pretend he hasn't hurt and abused many of them. he enjoyed it, and they know it. rex would def support vace, but, c'mon man. you think vace is turning to rex for support?? i think, if rex offered it, vace would reject it out of pride, imo.

a really neat thing, to me, is that, like... accepting that he's transfem would not only mean giving his role up, it would also mean accepting that he really is just like rex. he's just like the guy he bullied for years - regularly "beat the shit out of", in rex's own words. he would have to accept that he 'deserved' to be grouped in with rex and nomi. if everything worked according to his beliefs, he'd be the one that had his arm broken.

he's both the victim and the perpetrator and he's stuck in hell. any choice he can make is shitty in one way or another. the easiest thing for him to do is to repress it. acknowledging it in any way would mean disturbing the status quo.

... but, as i've said, he wants the status quo to stay the same. he wants to keep his status, the power it gives him. she's not gonna confront this part of herself until sol pries it out of her

there's also the obvious, like vace's fragile and toxic masculinity - his insistence that He's a good leader, Trust. He's manly. Trust him. He's so manly and masc. but there's not much i can say about - it feels so obvious im not even sure what to say about it? im just pointing at this

that's it i think <3 thank you for reading!! i hope u can find it in your hearts to become transfem truthers with me, iwatex fandom...

if anyone has any thoughts on transfem!vace - please please please share them with me!!! i'd love to hear what people think about her!!!:)

[theomenroom]

Exocolonist language headcanons

The stratos are all textually established as speaking Esperanto as a first language. There's some conflicting evidence regarding their speaking other languages (Sol has no idea what language Nomi's anime is in, just "is that another language," but Sol can also be a connoisseur of old influencer videos which probably weren't in Esperanto)

I don't think the helios speak Esperanto as a first language. At the very least, the ones who boarded the ship had another primary language, and while it's possible that they close Esperanto as their primary on-ship language, I think it's more likely that they didn't. They're an occupying force. It's unlikely that they'd adapt to the language of their targets before even reaching them.

I think Nomi's the best at languages among them. People don't recognize that as a genuine talent because for the first 15 years of Nomi's life they spent it around the same hundred people who all already had a common language, but Nomi speaks the best Esperanto of anyone on the Helio. They were fluent at landing, and it took them like a month to completely assimilate the dialect differences between their textbooks and the way the stratos talk. They're also conversant in Japanese, but have hardly anyone to speak it with outside of their immediate family, so their dialect is extremely weeby.

@thydungeongal suggested Nomi would speak Toki Pona as well, and yes, absolutely, they would. If they didn't live around the same hundred people, they'd be constantly surprising all their friends with their "oh I can speak that" and would be fluent in at least five languages by fifteen. But they do only live around the same hundred people, so they taught themself Toki Pona. I'd give better than even odds that they can read Tolkein's poetry in the original Elvish, too.

I could see them also dabbling in archeology, and after a decade or so, being the only one who can keep up with Sol about Convergent Domain language (aside from Sym, who speaks it natively. Dys is learning bits and pieces from Sym but the Convergent Domain aren't as interesting to him as the ecosystem)

Rex isn't great at Esperanto, but Nomi made him practice anyway, so his is passable at landing and only gets better once he's fully immersed. Marz also schedules lots of "language practice" sessions between the two of them.

Vace speaks kinda stiffly, at first. He tries because, despite everything about his personality, he knows they have to get along (especially after the heliopause passed through the wormhole), but before landing, he hadn't really tried to learn it so much as he tried to get a good grade in class. Which is why even when he adopts a strato-style name, he still sounds pompous about it. He gets a lot better after practicing with Nem.

I don't have much of a handle on Lum. He clearly speaks it decently enough to parley with the colony on landing (but I could see some of his awkwardness being a language barrier). Maybe when he was shuffled into the paper-pushing corps, he studied a bunch to try to make himself useful as a translator.

[azems-familiar]

okay okay okay. fine. my interpretation of Ulic, obviously, which i personally think is pretty accurate if you get rid of some of the ridiculous shit that makes no sense the comics pulled, and extrapolated based on little things. anyway.

they're both gifted kids, you know. Ulic is given over to Arca when he's 11, this absolute powerhouse and prodigy. his mother believed herself incapable of training him, instead sending him to a master who scolded him for not developing the innate power of battle meditation; he resented her for it, and resented Arca, but never believed Arca was wrong. Revan, thirty years later, just as powerful in the Force, with the same martial bent as him, feared by Vrook Lamar and certain other masters she would resent for the rest of her life. picked up at twelve by Arren Kae, who only chose her because one day you will save the Republic, i've Seen it.

arrogant, both of them, even as the brightest of Jedi. Ulic knew his strength and believed he could handle anything - boasted about it, even. what were the Krath against his Jedi strength and righteousness? Revan had succeeded at everything she turned her mind to, and was certain she could outsmart Cassus Fett and win the war. what were the Mandalorians against her righteous anger and the Jedi's compassion?

(how long did a Jedi's compassion and righteousness last when loss came, when anger came, when a way to win that wasn't the right path presented itself?)

how often did Nomi Sunrider look at Alek and Qatya, Revan's most loyal friends, and see Cay? (see Tott, see herself?) Qatya, standing numb before the Jedi Council, a fresh scar across her face and her connection to the Force ripped away. Cay, bleeding out and crumpled on the ground, Ulic's lightsaber having carved through his chest.

a mask. an amulet. power, not of the mystic kind but of blade and charisma and tactical genius and an army loyal to the death. Ulic would have taken Coruscant had Aleema not betrayed him. thirty years later, Revan was six months out from conquering the Republic, Coruscant included, until Malak turned and shot her in the back.

Ulic was a prodigy. he proved it a hundred times over before the end. Revan saved the Republic, and then turned around and nearly destroyed it. both of them left shadows over the galaxy that would linger for generations. oh, they'll tell you Exar Kun masterminded the Great Sith War, and maybe they're right - from his hand was the dream of a new golden age birthed. but it was Ulic who led their armies, unmatched by any Republic tactician.

the same eyes in different people, time after time after time.

so yeah. sometimes i think about Ulic and Revan.

[oh2e]

As much as I love Sense8 and its myriad of ways of depicting family and love, despite two of the cluster being in non-monogamous situations there is still an element of amatonormativity there that’s hard to overlook about s2. The cluster love each other dearly and will be there for each other no matter what, but outside of that they have very few friends. Everything hinges on the cluster itself, family (not necessarily by blood) or partners.

Will has Diego - but we know barely anything about him and only see him at the very beginning and very end. Nomi and Amanita seemingly have many friends but we see each one only fleetingly (bar Bug but he falls more into ‘chosen family’ than ‘friend’). Sun actually has more friends than anyone - her martial arts mentor (do we ever find out his name?), Soo-Jin, Lina, and Min-Jung - but due to circumstances we can’t see much of them. Riley is clearly well-liked and we see proof of her friends being generous towards her - but there’s no one she wants to return to. Lito doesn’t appear to have anyone who doesn’t want something from him other than Hernando and Dani, both of whom are family. Kala likewise has some people from work who want to chat and gossip with her, but most emphasis is on her family (including Auntie who is often seen with them). Which just leaves Capheus who has Jela, and Wolfgang has Felix. They’re the most fleshed out and recognised of the cluster’s friends and even then Jela is mostly used for comic relief and Felix as a contrast to Wolfgang.

At the end of S1 we have two couples within the cluster and two people in committed relationships outside the cluster. Sun and Capheus have no romantic entanglements or interests so much as even hinted at. S2 brings closure for Kala and Wolfgang, and love interests for Sun and Capheus. In the end the cluster all have at least one partner and they’re happy. I’m not saying that’s bad - I love all the cluster’s partners and the sweetness makes me very happy - but it does enforce the idea that a happy ending has to include a partner.

I would’ve loved Capheus to carry on owning his individuality, or Kala to concede that actually her career is more important and as nice a man as Rajan is, she doesn’t need to be married, or Wolfgang to happily continue his unattached life. (Lito and Nomi are the obligatory sappy couples - we can’t break them up. I find Riley & Will quite boring but I think Riley not finding love is the opposite of healing for her. And Sun so desperately deserves to be loved wholly as herself.)

Sense8 says so many wonderful things about love and the different ways it can manifest that I think I feel more let down by it partnering everyone up than I would with a less love-focused story.

[shinybearnerd]

"Celestial Ties" - pt. 2 of 2

Part 1.

Bonus Part

----------------------

Hello! Here's the second part of the fanfiction. Hope you like it! Soon I'll put other stuff about Good Omens. I have a request too! (Ahhh! Can't wait to write it). Anyway, bye. >:D

Pair: Aziraphale x Gn!reader Words: 2,9k Genre: Angst, some fluff? Story: The reader and Aziraphale see each other after eight years. That's it. (I don't know how to put it, otherwise lmao)

-Engish is not my first language. So I'm sorry if there are any mistakes-

When Y/n first laid eyes on Aziraphale after so many years, a whirlwind of emotions engulfed them. Their heart skipped a beat, and a mix of shock, joy, and pain washed over them like crashing waves. Their souls seemed to reach out, yearning to bridge the gap of lost years and unresolved emotions. They exchanged silent glances, communicating a lifetime's worth of feelings without uttering a single word.

All these memories, all those emotions that they so hard tried to bury deep within their soul, all of a sudden started to flood back out again, and they couldn't do anything to stop it.

Aziraphale's sudden appearance shattered the carefully constructed walls they had built around their heart, leaving them vulnerable and raw. A part of them had hoped to see him again, to reconcile the love they once shared, while another part knew that the pain of the past might resurface, tearing them apart all over again.

As for Aziraphale, seeing Y/n was both a blessing and a curse.

He couldn't deny the profound love he still felt for them, a love that had never really faded with time. But with that love came the weight of his own choices, the sacrifices he had made for the greater good, and the knowledge that he was the one who had driven them away.

When their eyes met, he felt an overwhelming sense of hope, the deep-rooted desire to embrace them and make everything right again. His angelic heart yearned for forgiveness, for a chance to make amends for the pain he had caused. Yet, he knew that he didn't deserve such a reunion. Not with the way he treated Y/n.

For the first time in his existing felt jealous seeing them with their son, living a life he couldn't be a part of. He envied the time they spent together, the happiness that seemed elusive to him.

The moment was charged with unspoken words, a delicate dance of emotions hidden beneath strained smiles and hesitant glances. It was as if time had ceased to exist, leaving them suspended in shared memory.

As Y/n and Aziraphale stood face to face, a torrent of emotions swirled between them, too overwhelming for words. Their eyes locked, and their hearts ached with the weight of unspoken truths. The love that had endured and the pain of parting ways.

Crowley stood by Aziraphale's side, causing his presence to make the angel feel protected.

Y/n's son, unaware to all, beamed up at Aziraphale, a smile of innocence lighting up his face.

     <<Are you a friend of my Nomy, too? >>

Aziraphale's gaze shifted from the boy to Y/n, both unsure of what to say. The question hung in the air, loaded with unspoken truths and the complexities of their past. The angel's gaze then softened as he looked down at the boy.

     << Yes, my dear. I am a... friend of your parent. Yes.>> he replied, his voice gentle and tinged with nostalgia as he looked at Y/n.      <<He's Aziraphale, my love. >> Y/n put his hands on his son's shoulders. << He and I go back a long time...>>      <<Do you run that bookshop? >> Aziraphale exchanged a surprised glance with Crowley, momentarily caught off guard by the child's request.       << Yes.>> said with his usual warm smile. <<Would you like to visit? Obviously, if your... okay with it. >> he added soon after looking at Y/n again. Upon hearing the confirmation, his face lit up with delight, eager to visit the bookstore he had admired from afar. He instantly looked at his parent, begging them to go.

Crowley seized the opportunity and suggested going inside. If a stare could have killed, or in this case, discorporated, Y/n could've done so. But the demon continued. << It would be a shame to miss such an opportunity...>>

Aziraphale's eyes lit up with a glimmer of hope. His hesitance melted as the prospect of them in the bookshop again filled him with anticipation.

Y/n attempted to brush off the suggestion, claiming they had other plans. But their son was determined. The boy's enthusiasm was infectious, and Y/n couldn't resist the pleading look in their child's eyes, so they accepted with a sigh and a gentle smile. 

     <<Alright, we'll go inside... for a while. >> consented, looking at Aziraphale, who what almost squirming from anticipation

As they entered the bookshop, memories of the past flooded back, and nostalgia washed over Y/n. The old wooden shelves, the scent of leather-bound books, and the soft glow of lamplight all felt like echoes of a time long gone. Nothing has changed. Even tho Y/n knew the shop's probably been like this since the angel opened the shop.

Aziraphale guided the boy through the store, showing him his favourite books and sharing stories from past centuries. The child was enthralled by the angel's stories, his eyes full of wonder. Saying that that warmed the angel's heart was a euphemism. 

Crowley and Y/n remained near the entrance, on one of the armchairs next to Aziraphale's desk.      << He's a clever kid... He has your eye.>> The demon started. Y/n immediately knew what he was going for.      <<Please don't say another word. It's already difficult as it is. >> whispered, looking at Aziraphale and his son smiling at each other. A cocktail of emotion mixed in them.      << He should know that he's his son too. And you know it, too.>>      Y/n snapped. <<Why would he? He didn't seem to have so much caring for me before! >>      << What on heaven are you talking about? He adored you! He worshipped you as if you were God herself!>>      <<Then we remember two different Aziraphales. >> they said as they stood up, calling for their son. << Aiden, come on. It's time to go, baby.>>      <<But mom, Mr Fell was- >>      << I'm sorry, but we have to go.>>

Y/n's words were suspended in the air, laden with bitterness and unresolved pain. Their gaze was firmly fixed on their son, a mix of protectiveness and hurt etched on their face. Crowley watched with a heavy heart.

Aziraphale, caught off guard by the sudden tension, furrowed his brow in confusion. His eyes darted between Y/n and Crowley.

Aiden walked towards his parent, a little annoyed by the rash stop of the visit. Aziraphale's gaze shifted between Y/n and their son, his heart heavy with confusion and regret. He wanted to reach out, to bridge the distance that had grown between them, but he respected Y/n's wishes, understanding that the wounds were still too fresh, too deep.

     The little boy took his parent's hand and turned to address the angel. <<Thank you so much, Mr Fell. Your bookshop is awesome! >>      The angel smiled heartily. << Well, thank you, Aiden.>>      <<I'm sorry that we can't stay a little longer... >>      << Do not worry about that. You have to listen to your parents. They know what's best for you... Besides, you'll always be welcome in my shop.>> As he ended the phrase, he made a blue lollypop appear with a miracle. The boy's smile widened. The magic and the sugar treat both.

He only took the sweet when Y/n gave them a smiling nod. They hated to think about it, but Aziraphale sweetness towards kids always made their heart melt. They always knew that he would make an incredible father. And that moment was another piece of evidence.

     << Wow! How did you do it?>>      <<Well, a magician never reveals. >>      << You're so cool, Mr Fell!>> Aziraphale violently blushed. No one ever said something like that to him.

     <<Come, my love. Let's go. >> As the angel heard the pet name, he felt his heart being shattered even more. They used to call him that way. Well, he thought. It was the right thing to say. But why he still felt horrible?

As Y/n and their son turned to leave, Aziraphale felt a sense of longing and regret tugging at his heart. He watched them walk away, his soul yearning for a chance to make amends. But for now, he could only stand in silence.

Once Y/n and their son disappeared from view, Aziraphale talked to Crowley. << What was that about? What have you told them?>> The demon opened his mouth different times. Nothing came out of it. Aziraphale's eyes looked into Crowley's, searching for answers he couldn't seem to find.

Finally, after a moment of tense silence, Crowley sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. <<I… I only tried to nudge things in the right direction. >> He admitted, his voice tinged with regret. Aziraphale furrowed his brow. <<What is it you're not telling me, Crowley? >> his voice was gentle yet insistent. << There's more to this, isn't there?>> The demon hesitated, the weight of his own secrets burdening his soul. <<I… I may have suggested that their son is… >> His words were hesitant and laced with guilt. << You need to talk to them. That's all I can say to you.>>

Crowley's evasive response only deepened Aziraphale's concern. The angel knew that there was something the demon wasn't telling him, and it left an unsettling feeling in his heart.

<<Need to talk to them? >> Aziraphale repeated a mix of curiosity and trepidation in his voice. << About what, exactly? What have you done, Crowley?>>

The demon's gaze faltered, his internal struggle evident on his face. He knew he couldn't keep the truth hidden forever. But he also didn't want to cause further turmoil between Y/n and Aziraphale. Finally, after a long moment of contemplation, Crowley sighed and decided to be honest. <<I might have hinted that their son… He might… No. He IS… >> he took a deep breath and admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. << …Aiden is your son.>>

Aziraphale's eyes widened in shock as the truth finally came to light. His heart pounded in his chest, a mixture of emotions swirling within him. It was as if the world had shifted on its axis, and everything he thought he knew had been upended. <<My… son? >> Aziraphale whispered, his voice trembling with disbelief. << How is that even possible?>> <<Well, you know… When two people love each other very- >> << I know how this thing works. I'm not an idiot! It's just…>> he sighed. <<We're celestial beings. We're not meant to have offspring, Crowley! >>

The angel's voice wavered with confusion, frustration, and a touch of sadness. Aziraphale's brow furrowed as he tried to process the magnitude of what had been revealed. His thoughts swirled, grappling with the reality of having a son, something he had never imagined for himself as an angel. It challenged everything he thought he knew about his existence and purpose.

<< But what does this mean for us?>> Aziraphale asked, his voice filled with uncertainty. <<What does it mean for our relationship, for Y/n, and most importantly, for our son? I have to talk to her... >>

-.-.-.-.-.-

Days passed, and while Aziraphale was searching Y/n's apartment, Y/n ware thinking about Aziraphale nonstop. It felt like the first time they saw him, in the bookshop. Charming, clever, sweet… His eyes were always full of life and wonder. Full of that sparkles of wisdom and innocence.

He found himself consumed by thoughts of them, unable to shake the overwhelming emotions that had been stirred by the revelation of their son. He hoped to find the right moment to talk, to confront the truth and understand why they kept all away from him.

Each day without Y/n felt like an eternity, and Aziraphale's heart longed to see them again, to gaze into their eyes and find that sparkle that made them look like little stars.

He wandered into the shop, Crowley as always next to him. The demon was trying to say that maybe he found their apartment, but the angel was lost in thought, replaying memories of their time together. The laughter. The shared moments of happiness. The love that bound them together. The way their eyes met with a shared understanding…

He knew he had to find Y/n and have that long conversation to seek forgiveness and understanding. Time had passed, and wounds had decayed, but he couldn't let fear hold him back any longer.

Amid his thoughts, the bell above the door chimed, signalling the arrival of a visitor. Aziraphale and Crowley turned, his heart leaping in his chest as he saw Y/n standing before them. The angel's heart skipped a beat.

<< Y/n...>> Aziraphale breathed. His voice was barely a whisper. <<Someone wanted to visit your shop a little bit better… >> Aiden's little figure popped out, a wide winning smile on his lips. << Do you mind Mr Fell?>> As he listened to his son calling him "Mister", his heart sank a little. But smiled anyway and accepted.

<<Here, kid. I'll show you around. >> said Crowley, putting a hand on the kid's shoulders while walking him through the aisle.

As the two were left alone to talk, their past feelings started to resurface. He couldn't help but smile as he watched Crowley guiding their son through the bookshop, the demon's fondness for the child evident in every gesture.

Y/n glanced at Aziraphale, their eyes lingering on him before the angel broke the silence. << I didn't expect to see you here…>> << Well… I'm here now.>> <<I've been looking for you. I… I needed to talk to you. >> Y/n looked at him, a feeling of deja-vù in her stomach. << About what?>> <<About our son… >> Y/n became white as a ghost. << Who told you? It was Crowley?>>

Aziraphale hesitated, grappling with the truth and the situation at hand.

<< Yes, it was Crowley.>> he admitted, in a whisper. <<Of course he did... >> << He thought it was best to be honest with me. And I'm grateful that he did!>> Y/n looked conflicted, their emotions swirling beneath the surface. <<I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't even fully understand it myself. >> << I understand…>> Aziraphale said, reaching out to gently touch Y/n's hand. <<It was a lot to take in. Especially for you! Raising a child all of your own! But… now that we know the truth, I think it's important that we talk about it openly and honestly. >> Y/n looked down at their intertwined hands. A mix of emotions playing across their face. << I never thought I'd be in this situation… I mean, having a son with an angel! It's not something you read about in fairy tales.>> Aziraphale smiled softly, dropping it off quickly later. <<Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant? Why did you run away? >> Y/n laughed darkly. << I was the one to run away? You're not really saying and asking me those things. Do you remember what you told me 8 years ago?>>

The atmosphere grew heavy with unspoken regrets and painful memories.

<<I remember.>> Aziraphale whispered, his voice laden with sorrow. <<I said things I didn't mean. Things I regret every day since. I know that I hurt you deeply... It was my biggest mistake, and I can never forgive myself for driving you away. But I was trying to protect you!- >>

     Y/n's eyes glistened with unshed tears, anger simmering beneath the surface. << You didn't just drive me away, Aziraphale!. You denied our love, our connection. You made me believe that everything we had shared was meaningless to you!>>      <<I know... >> The weight of his past actions crushing him. << I was afraid, Y/n. Afraid of the consequences. Of going against the expectations placed upon me as an angel. But mostly, I was terrified they would hurt you if they knew about us! If I could not stop...>>      <<But it wasn't right for me. >> Y/n replied, their voice raw with emotion. << You made that decision for both of us without even giving me a chance to understand what was going on.>>      <<I was a fool. >> Aziraphale admitted, his voice breaking. << I didn't realize how much I loved you until it was too late. Until you were gone. And I've regretted it every day since! Please, Y/n. You have to believe me.>>

Silence fell between them, the weight of their shared pain and missed opportunities hanging in the air. Y/n's gaze met Aziraphale's, and he saw the hurt and vulnerability they had carried with them all these years.

<<I've been living with this ache for so long... And seeing with Aiden. Knowing the truth too! ...only deepened my longing to see you again, to try to make things right. >> Laughed angrily. << Do you really think that everything could be right again?>> <<I don't know. >> Aziraphale replied honestly. << But I want to try. I want to be there for you, for Aiden. I want to rebuild what we once had. ...But only if you'll allow me.>>

Y/n looked torn, the conflicting emotions evident on their face. <<I can't just forget the pain, Aziraphale. >> they said, their voice trembling. << But… I can't deny that I-I still love you.>>

Aziraphale's heart skyrocketed at their words, hope flickering in the darkness of their conversation. He lined closer and took their hands. <<I love you too. >> he said, his voice filled with sincerity. << And I promise you, I'll spend the rest of eternity making it up to you if you'll give me the chance.>>

Tears finally spilt from Y/n's eyes as they looked at Aziraphale, vulnerability and love intertwining in their gaze. <<I don't know if I can trust you again… But I want to try too. >>

Aziraphale reached out and gently wiped away their tears. << Then let's try together. One step at a time, rebuilding what we lost, and creating something new. Just me, you and Aiden.>>

As their hands remained intertwined, Y/n nodded, a glimmer of hope shining through the pain. They didn't dare to talk about their partner at home. They just smiled and nodded.

[defira85]

Thedas Tuesday

Just over a week to go! And I've done introductions for all 8 of my Rooks (if you fancy, you browse the tag here to see any you might have missed) so today I'm posting my predictions as to who might romance who. This is just a guess, I've been trying to avoid a lot of the early access stuff that went live in September, so I really don't have a huge grasp on the companions' personalities for the most part, and it's entirely possible I'll get wrenched in a completely different direction by the muse once I get into the game proper.

But for now, under the cut because it's long:

Vaaran: Qunari Grey Warden, warrior class. This is actually the easiest one to predict because Vaaran has been a Grey Warden since the siege of Amaranthine in 9:31 and is actively hearing her calling at the onset of Veilguard. Who better to woo the stoic warrior who has embraced her own death and is only lingering to ease her sister's guilt but the charming necromancer and master of death himself? How much will it hurt Emmrich to realise that for once he finds death to be a hindrance, a horror, an enemy ready to snatch his new love away? How much will it hurt Vaaran when she realises she wants to live, but it might be too late?

Kasaanda: Qunari Grey Warden, mage class. Bubbly and boisterous, excited to be alive and to experience everything life has to offer, who else would catch her eye but the equally bubbly Bellara?

Micaela: Human Mourn Watch, mage class. A member of the illustrious and mysterious Gottschalk family on her mother's side, the more common Ingellvar on her father's side. Cousin to the infamous Jo Hawke. As a Gottschalk, Micaela has been raised as a member of the Veiled Brotherhood, and has an intimate relationship with spirits, demons and blood magic. Of COURSE that means I'm going to throw her at Lucanis (and Spite) because they're going to annoy each other SO MUCH it'll be delicious

Hedrobella: Dwarf Lord of Fortune, warrior class. The infamous Captain Brand is a world-weary grump with a heart of gold hiding under many, many layers of scars and snark. She is going to find common ground with Neve, two snarky women fighting to do the right thing for the little guy and finding comfort in each other

Dhraoibhan: Elven Veil Jumper, warrior class. I think I want to go elf for elf, and head for Davrin. We've never had the opportunity to have a Dalish elf romance a Dalish elf before! It's exciting! And with my personal little headcanon that Dhraoibhan is a worshipper of the Forgotten Ones, I can write it as a little antagonistic, a little culture clash, which will be fun. The only problem, it's also warrior for warrior, and now that the party size has been cut down, that makes it difficult to justify having him in the party with them

Luciaane: Human Shadow Guard, mage class. TECHNICALLY SHE'S INQUISITION, NOT SHADOW GUARD. Again, I get why there's not an Inquisition faction as a player background, I do, but I want one. For many reasons that I went into in her backstory post, but also because it'll be hilarious having her romance Harding knowing that Luc, her father, was a member of the Inquisition and a member of Inquisitor Corinne Trevelyan's inner circle, and he'll do fucking anime murder sparkle eyes when he realises Harding is dating his baby girl

Nomi: Dwarf Antivan Crow, rogue class. She's gayer than San Francisco in the spring time, and she's devoutly religious and bound by how important duty is. So of course that means she's going to have a CRISIS over Taash, who has left the Qun and has no loyalties beyond coin and is just the most extraordinary (BIG) woman Nomi has ever seen

Which is all 7 companions accounted for! Which leaves...

Beren: Elf Shadow Dragon, rogue class. Look. We all know my brand. I'm going to go after an unromanceable, it's just going to happen. I'll write a 300k fic about an unromanceable character yet again, it's just what I do. Will it be Solas, now that he's unattainable? Perhaps. It might also be Elgar'nan. Maybe it's Manfred, because Elissa's canon romance is Justice the corpse, so why wouldn't I romance a skeleton in this game? Who knows. We'll see what happens and who my wretched soul latches on to in 2 weeks time....

And in 2 weeks time we'll know just how wrong I am and how badly I messed up these predictions!

[whispering-radiance]

| OC posting | Yapping about my Ocs and Glow of Amber AU

I’ve gotten a big ask from @meyexe , so I decided to make it into a post — I will discuss some of their questions

Okey, let’s get through this "I guess I'll just wait until you talk about the Ninja Clan before I ask questions." Clan of the first ninja is pretty much dead, and he is the sole survivor. There were nine of them– first few died while battling the sorcerer, others probably from injuries or illnesses, and the rest burned during the great fire started by Tengu.

"How did Eiko start working with the gods? With the help of "mother"?" There definitely wasn’t any help from her mother – She pretty much discovered this path on her own. And she didn’t start with gods right away – she started working with small, gentle spirits, and slowly made herself visible to those residing in heavens. Maybe the fact that she came from the amber goddess helped her gain some recognition? Becoming someone great definitely was one of the driving forces for Eiko. 

"We know Ninja works hard. But we cannot rule out the possibility of spending time with children outside the context of training or the like. What could it be in your opinion?"

Well, there definitely was something more in their lives than just training sessions. They did most of the things as family, even such basic things as going to the market. But besides activities like that, I think they might have played instruments together, each one played something different : I imagine Eiko playing Koto (箏), Nomi on Shamisen (三味線) and First ninja could play the Shakuhachi (尺八) .I guess Fninja wanted to pass everything he knew and ensure his family’s traditions lived on.

"Can Ninja be a good father?" Oh I have to bring out the heavy guns for this one – I’ve written many father figures throughout the years, so I have a thing or two to say. I’m sure he was a good father and his children were his center of attention – And I think it’s because of his previous loss of brothers and sisters. Now he’s the one ensuring protection –when he used to be one getting protected by other members of his clan. 

Now, he might have been a good dad, but that doesn't mean he was a good person. I’m not saying he’s evil, or bad, just that he went through a lot and holds more trauma on his back than my middle school Ocs. He would often react out of “fight or flight” instinct, and the whole ninja work would definitely stress him out. So I imagine he often needed time alone from everything, and he might have even raised his voice on Eiko and Nomi occasionally. That being said, I don’t think he would have considered his children a burden or a curse – In my opinion he felt blessed with the opportunity to preserve his clan’s lineage .

"Nomi, most likely, can talk to her father as an equal person, referring to her mentality, but he remains a child. This, however, did not stop Nomi from disobeying him, or even on the contrary, it helped. Could they communicate on some complex and confusing topics?"

I’m not sure what you meant by “confusing topics” but they most likely did talk on many difficult topics. But maybe the more philosophical conversations started in his teen years, rather than childhood.

"Are Eiko and Nomi fighting? (I think this is a common thing for a brother and sister;" Of course – but those never were serious, bloody fights, just casual arguments over small things

"Is it possible to come to Amber at this time? Does Eiko do this? Did Ninja or Nomi come to her after she left?" What I’ve imagined for her is that she created an amber seal to stop the great evil from coming to human world, and to ensure the seal would remain strong, she also trapped herself in it – She held it together for ages but in recent years the seal started losing its strength – Soon it might crack just like the Eye of eternities did.

I don’t think there was a possibility of visiting her, it might have happened in a hard to reach place, perhaps underground or under the mountain.

She's a girlboss holding Yamato no Orochi trapped so that he can't hurt anyone

"Did Amber leave something as a memento of herself? She could give the children a piece of amber with some cool magic."

Both Eiko and Nomi carry a piece of amber with themselves – it glows brighter if she’s near – it’s like a compass for a possible reunion.

I think she’d left something very powerful for Fninja – because lovers of the gods usually get the good stuff

+ I guess that’s all for now — I’m not sure what else I can add to this post…— Perhaps a timeline is needed but even this needs some thought—

+ I think Amber left her kids when they were around 7 or 8 — but she wasn’t there for them during their teen years

+ Yamato no Orochi tried to emerge from the shadow realm to try and free sorcerer, steal his powers and destroy the human world. Amber sacrificed herself to protect everything (she’s alive; but forced to be trapped in her own seal with the monster)

[fyeahcompetentwomen]

Galadriel vs. Nomi Marks

Remember: don't vote on "who would win in a fight", but on "who, when given a task that fits her skillset and talents, would do that task better: more comprehensively, faster, with more pizzazz, with less collateral, etc."

Endorsements! "What is she good at?"

Galadriel, The Lord of the Rings: Ancient elf, knows pretty much everything about the world, magic and she's also competent in battle

Nomi Marks, Sense8: Nomi is a top tier hacker, but as a sensate is also capable of asking her fellow cluster members for their help using their skills at any time, then employing them in her own body in real time. (Are they her skills? That depends on how you define consciousness... Certainly the cluster often acts as one being.) If you consider these as part of Nomi's competency, whether they are strictly hers or not, then she is also a skilled actor, kickboxer and brawler, musician, chemist, bus driver and mechanic, and bartender. Oh and she can speak like eight languages. (thank you tumblr user @anandabrat)

[sl-newsie]

Query: Q x 00 Agent- Ch. 22: Comes With The Job

Thank God no one’s noticed our boat parked in the sub pen. Another relief is that Mathilde's kept quiet and is surprisingly cooperative considering the tense atmosphere. Maybe now we can get our signal back.

“Q?” Bond asks blindly. I hope this works.

“Yes?” The Quartermaster’s voice answers crystal-clear. He sounds pleased to hear from us.

“We’re going to need an immediate strike on this entire island. It’s a manufacturing plant.”

A few seconds go by before Q answers again. “Bond, there’s something else you should know. Multiple unidentified planes are heading toward you.”

We all exchange glances and I can tell we’re all thinking it. 

“They’re coming for Heracles,” Bond speaks for all of us. “How far out?”

“20 minutes,” Q answers. 

He must have notified M as well because now I hear his voice in my ear piece. “Bond.”

007 comes to attention. “M?”

“Our interference is attracting global attention. We’re seeing what we can do.”

Perfect. Another inconvenience. Of course the rest of the world wants in on the gossip. Can’t we all talk about this after we’ve ended this crisis?

“What do we do now?” I ask blindly. “For all we know whoever’s on their way here might use Heracles for the same reason Saffron is.”

Bond catches my eye and seems to think of a plan. He grabs D. Swann’s hand and it doesn’t take a genius to see he’s trying to figure out how to say a thousand things at once. Thankfully Dr. Swann gets the point and offers a knowing smile.

“I have to finish this,” Bond explains. “For us.”

She nods. “I know.”

They lean in for a kiss and Nomi and I look away to pretend this is not awkward. If it weren’t for the deadly situation this would be a touching moment. It tugs at my heart and sends guilt seeping into my thoughts because I can’t see my fiancée. The thought of even having a fiancée seems like a fairytale all in itself, but it does give comfort to know I’m not in this alone. And if we don’t destroy Heracles then there won’t be a world worth living in.

“0011, are you there?” Q’s voice rings out.

“I’m here,” I answer quickly. “Bond and I are going to destroy the factory once Dr. Swann and her daughter have left. Before you say anything, no I’m not backing out. He needs my help and I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t do everything I can to stop this.”

On the other end I hear Q let out a deep sign. “I knew you’d say something like that. I don��t doubt you’ll do brilliant as always but… Please be careful.”

“You do know we can hear you?” Nomi speaks up from behind.

A quick blush flashes across my cheeks but I make haste to hide it. “You know I can’t promise everything, Q. My job always comes first.”

By now Bond and Dr. Swann have finished up their goodbye. “I’ll just be a minute. 0011, Nomi, please escort them to shore.” He starts walking back down the dock. 

I turn to tell Nomi I’m going with him but she already seems to know. “You’re his partner. Make sure he doesn’t get into too much trouble. Good luck, 0011.”

I nod and sprint off to where Bond just disappeared. He’s climbing back up the stairs back towards the lab. When I catch up with him his only response is a frown.

“You’re staying behind?”

“Like you, I’m not fond of following orders. Even from you. I’m with you ‘till the end, Bond.”

“You could die,” Bond pants as we scurry up a narrow ladder.

Yes. Yes I could. “Comes with the job.”

Bond doesn’t respond to that. We both understand that this mission is far more important than personal safety. When we get to the top level Bond checks the hall for any guards and declares it safe to continue.

“Talk to me, Q.”

“Our uninvited guests are 15 minutes away,” he answers dryly.

Now another voice joins the conversation. “Bond, M here. This business has going beyond our jurisdiction-”

“We don’t have a choice,” Bond interrupts. “Fire on my mark.”

Just our luck. Too bad the threat of Heracles is such an inconvenience to national peace. To be frank, can’t we all stop acting like children for five minutes and agree to destroy this thing?

“It disrupts agreements with Russia and the Japanese,” M argues. “The Americans will also want answers.”

“Well don’t give them any,” Bond states firmly. “Mallory, if we don’t do this, there will be nothing left to save. Fire on my mark.”

We pass through another room. Unfortunately this one is guarded. Bond does quick work to shoot the first two. My instincts snap my attention to the approaching guard with a knife, whom I give a quick kick to the crotch and punch his neck. He’s out in seconds. One other thing I notice is how the room is designed. Giant, heavy metal doors.

“Let’s go!” Bond waves me over to the exit.

“007, there’s another problem.” Q must be thinking the same thing. “That room you were just in-”

“Yes yes, I know! I need to open the blast doors.”

“Otherwise the missiles will bounce off of it-”

“I know.”

Honestly, Q, this is not the time for over-explaining! Bond and I are tightly wound as it is and lecturing is not helping. We make our way out in silence, both trying not to think of the foreign planes headed our way.

“Find the control room,” Q tells us. “Think you can do it?”

Bond nonchalantly waves it off. “Plenty of time, plenty of time.”

Yes. Let’s pretend ten minutes is loads of time.

“Is 0011 still with you?”

“Don’t worry, Q. I’ll make sure your fiancé gets out in one piece.”

Oh.

My jogging staggers. “You know?”

The older agent checks the next hallway before answering. “It doesn’t take a genius to spot the ring around your neck. Plus the fact that he can’t stop worrying about you says enough.”

His tone doesn’t give me much to assume what he thinks of this… and I’m sort of nervous to ask.

“Are you mad?”

“I did disagree with it. I told you before that this job never allows for a normal life.”

I bite my lip and avoid his gaze to hide my embarrassment. I thought I had passed the point of fishing for Bond’s praise. He’s not my real family and he shouldn’t have any control over my life. Yet the sting of his disappointment still leaves its mark.

“But,” he continues. “I’m really proud of how you’ve handled it.”

What?

“You understand that the job comes first but also remember to show communication and empathy. Something…” Bond lets out a deep sigh. “Something I seem to struggle with. What I’m trying to say is, you deserve to have love in your life, Levie.”

A happy smile tugs onto my face. “Thank you, Bond. That means a lot. Maybe after all this we can all go out for drinks to celebrate?”

Boom!

Suddenly a nearby explosion rocks the building. There goes the lab.

“Celebration will have to wait.” Bond and I sprint down the rest of the hall. “Up the stairs. I’ll go first.”

It’s a spiral staircase. With any luck this one leads to the control room and we can get out of this wretched place. 

“Hault!”

Crumbs. More guards. With the cramped space it’s much harder to fight. I think there’s something that just might help-

“Bond! Get down!”

He drops to the floor and I snap the clasp on my bracelet before hurling it at the oncoming guards. Shrapnel rains out across the stairs and causes them to drop like flies. This leaves Bond with a bewildered look.

“Where did that come from?”

“A small gift from Q. A shrapnel bracelet. But I can only use it once-” The sound of clinking metal draws my attention towards a small object being dropped in. “Grenade!”

I dive behind one of the dead guards just as a hot explosion bursts forth and knocks me against the wall. I try to get up but another guard from above notices us and starts shooting.

“Ah!”

A stinging pain rips through my arm. From the hole in my uniform fabric the explosion burned I can see a bullet wedged into my pale skin.

“You alright?” Bond demands once he shoots my attacker down.

“Just my left arm. Only nicked it, nothing major. Keep going!”

Boom! Another grenade goes off and I can tell both Bond and I have static ringing in our ears because neither one of us can hear each other’s questions. After a while the ringing wears out and I can focus on shooting more guards below us. Bond has the last guard in his grip and flicks on his watch to overwhelm the guard’s eyepiece and literally blow his brains.

“Smart. Good use of an expensive watch.”

“Remind me to thank Q for his brilliance,” Bond comments and wipes the bloke’s blood off his hands.

“Bond, do you read me?” Speak of the devil.

“Yeah. I just showed someone your watch,” Bond pants as we continue up. “Really blew their mind.”

“Good. Did you find the control room?”

We both spot a sign marked on a door. “My Russian is a little rusty but I think so.”

Thank God there are no guards in the room. Saffron must have focused on the lab more than this section. The entire room reminds me of Q’s lab because it’s one big computer. Only this tech looks way more dated than what I’m accustomed to.

“The infrastructure must go back to the 1990s. That’s going to be an intricate switching system,” Q explains as we start looking for an off switch. “Now the order in which you engage in must be extremely precise. There might be a counterweight clutch. First you-”

Suddenly Bond pulls a random lever and I hear the equipment groan. And he calls me reckless.

“Got it! There it is, get ready for launch.”

"But-”

“Launch the missile, now!” Bond orders.

A few seconds go by and then another siren comes on.

“Why are the hatches shutting?”

Bond slams a fist on the dashboard and looks out the window. “No. No. No!”

“I’m on it!”

I grab a nearby cable and latch it to the outside wall. There’s no time to go back down the long way so I’m winging it. I sprint back to where the blast doors are still locked tight. How am I supposed to-?

“Get down!” I hear Bond shout from behind. I look up and-

Saffron’s back. And he’s holding a pistol straight at Bond’s head. Before I can react Bond rushes up to push me to the side and I slide off into a ravine. No! I can’t get stuck down here! Bond can’t expect me to just hide while he faces that monster alone!

Once I crawl back up I peek up just in time to see Saffron’s lifeless body sink into the pool he and Bond are fighting in. Bond’s been shot. There’s something else floating in the water. A used vial. It can’t be…

“Bond!” 

I call from the dirt and sprint over to go help him out of the water. But before I can reach him he holds a hand up for me to stop.

“Go. Go, now!”

“What did he do to you?” I gesture to Saffron.

Bond takes a deep breath. “Heracles.”

The word sinks in and my mind pieces together just how intricate that bastard’s plan was.

“It’ll kill them, won’t it? Dr. Swann and her daughter?”

He takes a moment to wipe the water off his gun, avoiding the answer. “Yes. And you too.”

“Oh God. I’m so sorry-”

“Nothing I can do about it. Q? Are you there?”

“Yes,” Q’s calm 

“Are they safe, Q?” Bond asks urgently.

“Yes, they’re safe. Bond, have you left the island?”

Bond looks over at me and I point to the still-stuck doors. One way or another this whole place is going up in flames.

“There’s a slight problem with the blast doors.”

“Bond, the missile’s already launched. Just get out of there.”

007 looks down at his hands as if trying to decide something. “There’s no way to get this stuff off me?”

Even I know the answer before Q confirms it.

“You know as well as I do it’s permanent, it’s eternal. Which is why we need to destroy it. Just get off the island! It’s harmless unless it’s programmed for a target.”

Bond shakes his head. “That’s not going to work.”

Now Q gets the message. “Oh God. It’s for Madeline.”

Bond gets a soft smile, being surprisingly calm. “It’s alright, Q. It’s alright. Could you put Madaline on, please?”

He goes on to talk to Madaline while my mind races trying out all possibilities of how to avoid this. With all of today’s technology there must be something to counteract it! There has to be another way… 

“Eleanor.” Bond interrupts my thoughts. He used my name. “You need to get out of here. I’m staying behind to open the silos.”

“No.” I frantically shake my head. “No! I’m not leaving you here!”

“You attach a rope and scale down this building right now, or else I will toss you out myself. I will not have you kill yourself because of me. You need to go back to Q.”

Tears are starting to form, making my vision blurry. “B- But Bond… This can’t be the end.”

The older agent chuckles. “I always said I’d go out with something dramatic.” 

His attempt at a light joke does little to steady my racing heart. “You’re the only one who’s been like family to me. I don’t want to lose you…”

I can tell Bond wants to give me a hug to provide any amount of comfort but can’t because of the despicable nanobots. 00 agents are supposed to be unattached to people. But like Bond I’m not always one to play by the rules. All at once I’m supposed to deal with seeing my father figure of a mentor one last time before his fiery death.

“I’ve watched you grow from a skittery rookie to a stubborn and fearless leader. You have no idea how proud I am of you, Levie. I know you and Q will be very happy together.”

I take a shaky breath and want to say so many things. How am I supposed to summarize just how much he’s influenced my life?

“I know.” He can read my thoughts. “I wish there was an alternative. But this is the way it’s got to be. It comes with the job.”

I stifle a sob and look up with watery eyes. “God be with you, Bond. Are you sure I can’t help?”

The man’s smile widens with something I hardly see in Bond: pride. “You’ve done beautifully, Levie. Let me take it from here.”

We give each other a formal farewell salute and I sprint back towards the tower before my heart can override my head’s common sense. I need to get out of here before this whole place gets obliterated. I attach another cable to the side and begin descending down towards the rocks. The adrenaline almost makes me forget my arm is shot.

“Eleanor? Are- are you still there?” Q’s skittery voice comes out in a worried tone.

“Yes,” I try to find my own voice through the pit of swirling emotions in my stomach. “I’m headed down the side of the building. I’ll break the water before the missiles hit.”

“Please. Please don’t leave me again, Eleanor. I already thought I’d lost you once.”

“Stay focused, Geoffry.”

I’m already losing one loved one today. I don’t need my fiancé getting shot down by enemy planes. I near the ocean’s edge and drop down into the cold, churning water. Its icy sting does little to distract from the guilt and sorrow pooling in my head. How did I let this happen? Could I have been faster? Anything to prevent this?

The fear of being underwater completely (and literally) washes over me and all I can do is wait to float to the surface. When I reach the top to breathe I look up to see multiple approaching missiles. It always ends in violence. 

I also spot a lone figure standing atop the tower. Bond. He sees me and gives a small wave goodbye as the missiles begin landing in scattered patterns. I can’t even make out if his body is directly hit through all the explosions. We can’t even give him a proper burial.

“0011, are you there?” M’s voice asks.

I swallow hard. “Yes, sir. Agent down. 007 has been… killed in action.”

[1mnobodywhoareyou]

A Bex verse deleted scene because I'm going to take it apart and repurpose it for other things that fit the main fic better but I want to share it as is anyway:

Alex unlocks the door and swings it open, walking into their entry hall with Willie and Reggie trailing him. They’d just come from yet another appointment to get everything settled so that their little family expansion could become permanent.

“Bex? Luke? We’re back!” Reggie calls out into the apartment. When he’s met with suspicious silence, he exchanges a look with his partners and all three of them finish toeing off their shoes before making their way further into their home. 

Reggie stops short when they reach the living room, his face immediately softening into an expression that could only be described as deeply fond. 

“Wha-?” Alex starts to ask, cutting himself off when he takes in the scene for himself. The ‘Are you still watching,’ Netflix screen is displayed on their TV and Luke is laid flat out on the couch with one arm bent at the elbow, hand under the back of his head. Laying directly on top of him is Bex, her cheek is smushed into his chest. Both of them are sound asleep.

All three of her parents breathe a sigh of relief when they notice her thumb is not in her mouth.

“Sh!” Willie puts a finger to their lips while quietly pulling out their phone, tiptoeing closer as they open their camera app. They snap a few photos and then creep back to where Reggie and Alex remain planted. 

They watch the sleeping duo fondly for a few moments before turning toward the kitchen. Normally Luke probably would have had dinner ready for everyone when they got back but hanging with a two year old is exhausting so he very likely earned his nap.

Alex, Willie, and Reggie try to be as quiet as possible as they prep and cook, working together in the space like a well-oiled machine. You don’t live together for over a decade, both in the apartment and on board a tour bus, without finding a rhythm after all. 

Dinner is almost done when they start to hear movement and whispering coming from the other room.

“Daddy! Papa! Nomy!” Bex cheers as she toddles her way to the kitchen. She reaches Willie first who scoops her up into a tight hug and nuzzles her with their nose. 

“Did you have a good day with Unca ‘Uke?” Willie asks and Bex nods emphatically. She starts babbling in toddlerese about their day with the adults managing to catch every handful of words. 

Reggie chuckles as he finishes up with his task, reaching for Bex so he can greet her properly. She immediately yields to the handover, circling her small arms around his neck. 

“Hey Munchkin, Papa sure missed you today!”

“Unca ‘Uke,” she reminds him and he laughs again.

“Yeah, I know you had Unca ‘Uke keeping you company. It’s hard to miss Papa when you’re having so much fun, hey?” he kisses the tip of her nose just as Alex comes over and wraps them both in a bear hug of his own.

Bex squeals and lets go of Reggie’s neck to try turning toward Alex. She finds herself a bit trapped and grunts in frustration. 

“Daddy!” she chastises Alex and he lets out a soft chuckle of his own before releasing the pair and taking her into his arms. 

“Did you keep Luke out of trouble today?” he asks her and she nods.

“No trouble!”

“Good. That’s my girl,” he lowers his voice to just above a whisper, “it’s a hard job but somebody’s gotta do it!”

“Hey!” Luke exclaims from the other side of the counter, grabbing the dishes to set the table. “I keep out of trouble just fine on my own.”

“Mkay,” Alex hums with disbelief. 

“And the last ‘disagreement’ with Caleb was what?” Reggie asks with a teasing grin as he takes the food to the other room.

“Completely his fault,” Luke defends. “And also irrelevant to my time with Bex. Though she does need someone to teach her about good trouble.”

“That’s my job!” Willie pipes in with a grin of their own and all three boys roll their eyes.

“I said GOOD trouble,” Luke clarifies.

“Potayto, potahto,” Willie replies as the boys settle in, Alex placing Bex in her chair between himself and Luke.

“No trouble is good trouble,” Alex states, directing pointed looks both Reggie and Willie’s direction.

Reggie puts his hands up in defense, “hey! I got it all out of my system. Y’all are all the trouble I need now.”

“Awww,” Alex and Willie coo at him while Luke pretends to gag. Bex copies Luke, causing him to beam and Alex to roll his eyes. 

“Two freaking peas in a pod,” Alex mutters.

“You’re welcome!” Luke replies cheekily letting a massive, overexaggerated grin take over his face.

Bex smiles up at Alex and he returns it, booping her nose. “What are we gonna do with them, huh?”

“Luvem!” she exclaims cheerfully, causing all four adults to burst into laughter and for her face to scrunch up in confusion.

“Yeah, Bex. You got that right, all we can do is love ‘em. Trouble and all.”

[vertumnanaturalis]

Random headcanons/reasoning behind headcanons because I'm thinking about them

below the read more because idk how long this is gonna end up being

I went with both ships having started using a Vertumna based calender straight from launch. It wouldn't have month names yet, but it would run off the 387(ish) day calender I've come up with rather than Earth's 365.25 day one, with the definition of smaller units of time slightly adjusted to have a new definition of 24 hours based on a slightly longer second

In-universe, this would be because of all the technical issues you'd face having to reprogram everything with a different definition of how long a second is, let alone a minute or hour or day, ect ect.

The out-of-universe reasoning is that it makes it easier for me to do math about peoples ages, and trying to adjust writing to use vastly different time schedules is WAY harder in practice than it is in theory

Also the reason I went with the calender being that length is that it would have characters reach their first "lap year" at Vertumna age 16, turing 17 Earth years at about the same time. It'd put almost all of the main characters a full Earth year older by the time they switch to their final portraits.

Honestly the main reason was so that Sol, Anemone, and the twins turn 18 in Earth years that year rather than the next, because it makes some of the stuff they can get up to (dating older characters, drinking, soldiering, war criming....) feel a little less :S for me personally

Any given Sol's birthday could be from the middle of Early Quiet to the first half of Mid Quiet, kinda like how they can have different names and augments and such

For a BUNCH of reasons I'll eventually write down in a legible manner, I strongly believe that Dys and Tang are planned fraternal twins and geneticly half siblings, sharing Besk as their biological mother and having different donors for the other half of their dna

For similar reasons, all of Anne's children have different donors for fathers, and the triplets were planned as triplets from before conception

I think that like how Sol's augment can vary from timeline to timeline, whether or not Nomi actually has one and what it might be varies too, but it's always a mystery on their part

Since the game says the Helio was in space for less time than the Strato but never specifies how much less, I went with Lindsey's not-technically-canon idea(?) that it was in space for about 15 years.

When the Helios arive, Vace is already 18, and Rex turns 16 shortly after, so this would put them as actually Earth born rather than space born, like Utopia. (Actually ended up basing a lot of the npc and family planning of the Helio around this idea and the implications it could have)

Another not-technically-canon thing Lindsey mentioned was that the Helios' long form names are retronyms picked after landing; I'm... not actually using that one, technically, but I did go with the similar idea of it being something that people with unfitting names did upon leaving Earth.

Idk, I just think that if you know how the naming process works enough to have new ones picked by the time you get there that you probably left with that information, so why would they have waited to switch over if they were gonna do it at all?

Also, the military fascist group coming into town and suddenly changing their names to fit the local culture isn't really, like... in line with how those groups tend to work.

[astraymetronome]

First Things First -

I've never made one of these before so please do not judge any mistakes too harshly! Anyways-

This is a SFW Blog.

I'm not gonna post lewd stories, art, or anything of that type in this. If you are interested in that kind of stuff head to a NSFW Blog. I don't care if I'm interacted with by nsfw, you do you boo, but I must request that you understand my and others' boundaries by keeping your own preference out of the picture.

Also- my @ is astraymetronome but it's pronounced A Stray Metronome. Not Astray. I just thought I'd point that out lol

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 Basic Rules 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

I do write vore including minors, just because it is a comfort thing for me but none of it is or ever will be NSFW. Do not ask for NSFW, do not share with NSFW blogs, and please do not bitch about it not being NSFW.

DO NOT -

𓋼 - Ask For Private Stories (Everything I write will be posted on my tumblr or my ao3) 𓋼 - Beg For Any Kind of Ships (I do not write ships because I know I can't cater to everyone) 𓋼 - Tag or Tell me about NSFW (I'm not interested man) 𓋼 - Repost my Stories (I've spent a lot of time on them and don't want my shit stolen, trust me people will figure it out and I will know)

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

The minor characters I write with were my hyperfixations when I was still a minor, I'm 19 now, either way, I won't do any real shipping or relationships for my own comfort. Now onto my own information!

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 About Me 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Hi! I'm Mentronomie! You can call me whatever really but the main ones I go by are Nomie, Emme, Nome, etc.

I'm 19! (07/14/2005)

and use They/Them or She/Her Pronouns!

I have a significant other, who doesn't use Tumblr, and I often post in order of my current fixactions. Right now it is a mix of -

𓋼 - MHA/BNHA 𓋼 - DSMP 𓋼 - SBI 𓋼 - Hermit Craft 𓋼 - Spiderman (Tom Holland Version)

𓋼 - Genshin Impact

𓋼 - Honkai: Star Rail

𓋼 - Epic: The Musical

I have three cats that I love dearly and am in college for an education degree! Also, I don't think I've posted about it but I've mentioned this before in notes on my AO3, I have a twin brother! I think it's just a fun tidbit.

I write a lot of stuff and am actually considering opening writing commissions. It's not confirmed but I love writing and have thought about it. It would be really small, nothing big or expensive just because I'm not too sure how to go about it lol.

[imliterallyjustablackgirl]

Sydcarmy hate

I love reading all our meta about Sydcarmy so, I got curious and start dabbling in another ship of our fandom on Tumblr and their meta of theirs. Because truly, I like variations of ships and I wanted to read more about the Bear overall and hum...Oh boy, the sydcarmy hate is so...Weird to me?

You don't have to like our ship but even in your ship tag..? It's always backhanded too ; they start with denying their chemistry, while playing safe and saying somewhere in their argumentation that friendship is a safer option and state everything as if it was a fact.

Even going to the point of doubting the actors's work with each other ( Like Jaw and Ayo chemistry on screen). So, they have enough chemistry to be friends but not lovers. Why can't they be both? Friends to lovers. You can separate Syd and Carmy from Ayo and JAW. These are characters and people who act them are actors. Two different things. Maybe for you, Ayo and JAW are just friends, which is true, but Syd and Carmy don't present themselves like that to the viewer, sorry if that viewer wasn't you. This baffled me because they aren't they nomi- you know what.

Plus, I really dislike the backhanded aggressive-passiveness; the ''I know I'm going to get attacked for this '' when in reality, most of us have screenshots of our argumentation and examples. We explain our point of view, the people who attack the ship, not so much. It's backhanded because you must not have read nor dabbled in our ship to understand it. Which would be fine, if it didn't make it look like it was based on nothing. - But saying that you will get attacked for this... Interesting. It's not because you see an influx of people shipping our ship and being tolerant that it wasn't a wild ride there.

Luckily, I haven't seen Sydcarmies get personally attacked but we did see the ship being picked on everywhere on the internet and used as clickbait. Basically, using our interest and perspective of the show against us to a certain degree. Because, our interpretation of the show is literally laughed at, us seeing things through the lenses of Sydcarmy is as if because love stories are seen as redundant and Carmy is seen as this white guy people can transfer onto, rough around the edges of wtv, so it's as if it's below him. As if Carmy as a character wasn't deserving of a love story. Or that Syd has a character wasn't deserving of Carmy, that by the way @unladyboss made a post about how Carmy dresses and how Jaw dresses, and I think some of you cannot cope with the idea of Syd being with JAW not Syd being with CARMY. Despite, Carmy being a fine man. So, why would you be surprised...That people who are being basically laughed at wouldn't defend themselves for the reason they are being laughed at.

The person who inspired this post just makes me think they have biases. My fellow Sydcarmies have already dismantled a lot of that type of comments, the lack of chemistry, the friendship and the ship, so I won't go further but yeah, it's weird.

Edit: It's weirder because you realize that there's truly no place for us to just enjoy the bear if it ain't our spot?

[unknownjpegs]

pegged

Nomi goes to Ben first, because she knows that he knows.

“Well, someone’s done it to you, yeah?”

And it burns in her stomach to think about; jealousy tries to take hold of her insides, claw them into little shreds. Nomi wants to be selfless and good like Xavier. He’d once explained that it wasn’t jealousy for him.

“I don’t like thinking of people Benji’s been with because,” and he’d paused there, brows indenting, pretty lips turning flat and pale. “Because I don’t think they treated him right. I know they didn’t—I do it better. It’s not jealousy—it’s like envy. I should have been there first.”

Nomi gets that—and it’s sweet. It’s so fucking like Xavier. To be thinking so deeply, when everyones staring at him surface level. Benji and Xavier fascinate her, as embarrassing as it is to admit. And she doesn’t (she does, to Matilda, as she admits everything to Matilda). But they operate so differently from every couple she’s met before; all their small, little touches never amount to PDA. When they’re in a room together, people still mistake them for just friends. And then Xavier goes and confesses something so deeply emotional like that to her, when they’re just sharing a spliff on a balcony.

Rotten of him, really. To be so good. Nomi’s not like that. Nomi is jealous. Seething with it sometimes, just imaging the different people Benny and Maran have been with. Potentially better in bed, thinner, less anxious, better communicators. Nomi hates thinking of Benny kissing other people, she hates knowing his hands have made the same path they make on her. Hates imagining the other girls Maran has dated in the past; hates comparing, and knowing, knowing they were all fucking cis.

She tries to be level headed when she asks.

Benny, to his credit, takes the question in stride considering he’s using floss to sew a patch onto his jeans. He blinks his big, prey eyes up at her; like he’s been caught doing something wrong. Nomi gets Xavier then, in that moment. Sort of hates that he even has to think she’d be mad at him. She sits across the couch, with one leg tucked up close for her chin to rest on. Matilda calls it her Benji posture. Tells her she spends too much time with the boys; it’s affecting her spine.

“Once or twice,” Benny comments, shrugging a shoulder. He refocuses on the dental floss and the patch. It’s a rat with a knife through the head; NO SNITCHES. Nomi scoots forward. She bumps her foot on the inside of his thigh—she finds it endearing he’s sort of a foot guy and won’t ever admit it.

Nothing wrong with liking socks, he’d mumbled defensively. Maran and Nomi had to control their laughter, so he’d not actually take it personally. Just was too cute to ignore sometimes. Benny had interests and a lot of them were filthy or obscene or strange; in a good way. She liked when he made her feel dirty in that safe, sexy way he could make a person (her—her and maran, only) feel. But occasionally, something would catch his eye and be so downright wholesome almost it reminded her that people were often, frankly, so wrong about Benny.

He liked their socked feet; he’d grab them, and kiss her sole. He’d snap the elastic on Maran’s calf high socks and grin suggestively at him. Benny was so odd.

“Did you like it?”

“Prostate orgasms are my go to,” he replies, with a sleazy grin. His eyes flick up at her, those ice chips that she wants to melt into. Her cheeks heat at the suddenly flip from clinical to lewd. She bites her thumbnail, eyes awkwardly skating off him and to the laptop on the coffee table.

“What if I’m not good at it?”

“Baby,” Benny sighs and finally sets his jeans and the floss and the NO SNITCHES patch aside. He takes her leg and pulls her close, so sudden it makes her squeak. Nomi falls flat to the couch, and Benny’s sudden movement over top of her makes her feel caged in that sexy way. When he presses between her hips, hand resting on the couch to keep himself propped up, she doesn’t feel trapped. Well, she does; but trapped in that good way. It kept her up at night sometimes, wondering how Benny could maneuver his body in ways that were so sensual when she hated it from damn near anyone else.

“You and Mar are li-like the same person, sometimes.” Benny pushes back strands of her darkly dyed hair. His fingers pinch her chin softly. Her hands walk up his chest, fingers curling into his shirt.

“What do you mean?”

She didn’t see it that way. Maran was a light; he was like a little sun that had walked into her life and never lost its shine, no matter how long he was there for. Never turned moonside. He was bubbly, better at affection—he was good at talking. To anyone. He knew what to say, almost all the time, even when he had to ramble to get it out. He was kind, like no one else she knew, even Xavier. And he was cute—really fucking cute. Adorable, actually and she so, so, so badly wanted to make it perfect for him.

“Maran gets into it wh-when we get out the gear, right?”

“To be fair, it’s usually on him,” Nomi notes, raising her index fingers. “Like, the leash—”

“Yunno, I will l-lose my train of th-thought if we talk about Maran and the leash,” Benny huffs, laughing through his stutter. His sweet, pink blush betrays the persona he tries so hard to keep up. Maran melts him. She knows he does. “I’m saying; Maran’s into th-the aesthetics. Like you. He likes when things look sexy. He’s into your outfits. You guys are b-better at roleplay than me.”

“You don’t get into your characters headspace.”

“I dunno wh-what headspace the pizza delivery guy who wants a bl-blow job as payment is like.”

It makes Nomi laugh, and she guesses that’s his intention, because he softens and leans into her more. His arm winds around her middle. Not for the first time, she is struck by how strong he is. Benny looks strong, of course—he’s tall and thick. But when he aims that strength at holding her. Cradling her into his chest. Makes her dizzy. Tingly. She rests her hands around the back of his neck, chin tucked down.

“If you’re in a strap on—just that fucking vision alone,” Benny continues, smiling wider and wider on each word. “Maran’s going to be s-so close to cumming that you’ll b-be lucky if he lasts through foreplay.” Her fingers curl into his hair, the way she knows he likes. And she’s rewarded with that little hitch of breath, fluttering of his pale blond eyelashes. She knows he’s right. Maran was often on the verge of almost there; sometimes Benny had a way with words so fucking evil that Maran would be right at that flushed edge without even a single touch.

Nomi rarely felt that bone deep arousal that people talked about. But looking at Maran, blushing all over his pretty freckled body, eyelashes wet and mouth parted, panting and asking please, more, please? Nomi could not use words to describe what that did to her.

She tilts her head to the side, demure and soft as she looks up at Benny from her peripherals. The order number on the laptop screen reads loudly at her. Shipping date confirmed.

“Want to show me some tips before it arrives?”

—

Benny gets her bent over the bed then. Her heart feels like it’s moved locations. Crawled up inside her throat. And all the blood in her body has similarly relocated; floods her. Deep. She digs hands into the blankets on their shared bed.

“You know he likes it like this,” Benny purrs from behind her. His hands touch her biceps. He applies only slight pressure, enough to keep her pinned to the bed. In a strange way, her interest is piqued by how differently he is with the two of them. Realistically, she knows Benny is good at this—sex. Obviously. She sleeps with him often enough. But, it’s another thing to be confronted with the knowledge that Benny thinks about it. That he puts effort into holding them differently, touching them in different spots, saying different things.

It makes her love him more.

“On his hands and knees,” Nomi replies back, smiling. When she closes her eyes, she can envision Maran. His playful look behind his shoulder, the way he’ll arch himself, chest to the bed. Nomi can imagine her hands touching his shoulders, his lower back. She envisions her dark, opera gloves against his olive toned skin.

“Yeah, th-this’ll work better for your height difference,” Benny explains. His hands tug her by the thighs, suddenly pushing her flush against his hips. Despite being fully clothed—the both of them—she is suddenly shivering with anticipation, as if he’s about to actually fuck her. Nomi bites her lip to stop herself from interrupting again.

“He likes this,” Benny says, slowly moving his hand from her lower back and up her spine. She trembles at the sensation of his warm palm, despite the layer of her clothing between their skin. “Maran likes being touched—likes the attention, you know?” She does. She likes giving it to him. Benny’s hands move then, both of them closing around her waist. “And grab him here. Thrust from here.” He gives a bump of his hips forward and makes Nomi laugh. Benny pats her ass affectionately, so she squirms and glares over her shoulder.

She’s shocked to find his eyes so darkened, so heavy lidded on her.

“You’re gonna know when he’s close,” Benny continues. “Cause he’ll fuck himself back on you.” She keeps watching Benny, her chin to her shoulder. Eyes widened. He moves slowly, bending over her. His hands sweep from her waist to her lower stomach. She has to swallow, because suddenly her mouth feels so dry. “He’s so greedy like that. I like to keep his hips steady, so he has to work hard for it.”

“Maran’s stronger than me,” Nomi whispers. Isn’t even aware that it comes out that way, that it’s a soft mumble. Benny nods, his sleazy grin going warmer and warmer. Melting.

“Yeah, but he’ll be good for you, Nomi. He’ll let you take charge.” Benny’s hands flatten over her stomach, holding her closer. “When he gets good like that, I like to push right here.” Nomi’s body jumps a little when she feels Benny’s strong hands. Her knees suddenly feel weak and immobile. Her legs kick a little, almost on reflex—she swears, she can feel that sensation. That pressing. Her eyes flicker all across Benny’s satisfied face.

“He’ll cum so hard, you’ll get tears.”

For a long moment, she lets that linger in the air between them. Benny has crept closer with every sentence, until he’s nearly fully on top of her. The heavy weight of his hips against her ass and thighs make that sensual trapped feeling come back; her breathing nearly catches and she finds it harder. She wets her lips with her tongue and finds Benny’s eyes staring there.

“Is it normal?” she asks, staring too, at his pretty mouth. She loves his crooked teeth. Nomi loves him so much. “Like—that talking about Maran made me want to fuck this bad?’

Benny’s head falls forward onto her shoulder.

“Th-Thank fucking God, I am so hard it hurts.” Nomi erupts into laughter that is quickly cut off when Benny wrenches one of her legs up onto the bed. It parts her, puts her in one of those filthy positions that he likes so much. He smiles at her—his real smile. The smile that Maran and Nomi get, in private, when he finally feels like he can just be Ben.

—

Nomi panicked over nothing, really.

Well, no, she didn’t. That nervousness was with her, all the way until Maran was on his knees for her.

Before it got here—Maran, on his knees, lips parted for a pretty purple dildo—Nomi had to be by herself with the idea for a long time. She had to be realistic.

She dared to reach inside herself and find the wound called dysphoria and give it a gentle, terrified touch. Nomi didn’t go there often; she found ways to avoid it as frequently as possible. Only, she knew that it would need examination. She couldn’t not—Nomi had been born with the very same equipment she was buying for a ridiculous price off the internet. There was no avoiding that the possibility could be there; and Nomi knew, with no shadow of a doubt, that even if it was that very moment (Maran, knees, etc) that dysphoria decided to reopen, bleed through the careful stitches, that neither Benny or Maran would judge.

Instead, when she looked inward, she found nothing. She came up empty. And maybe it had something to do with, at that exact moment, her receiving a text message from Maran himself. Me n u with a silly picture of two ferrets inside a cat bed, curled around each other. Nomi had never felt so seen, in the weirdest, funniest way. That was Maran, though. Deciphering her body language when words did not work, kissing her at the times when she wanted them the most, cupping his hand around the back of her neck as he drove into her, between her thighs, calling her beautiful.

“You look so pretty,” she says, suddenly in the fucking moment with Maran. He looks up at her, blinking in surprise—and then hot, red floods his cheeks. Makes him prettier. His mouth drops open more. He leans in. “Good boy,” Nomi purrs the words out, as Benny’s tattooed hands curl around Maran’s shoulders. Press him forward. A hand cups up underneath Maran’s chin. Her black, gloved hand.

“Show Nomi how fucking good at this you are, baby,” Benny says, voice dripping in his husky dominant tone. She shivers, like it’s almost aimed at her. When Maran’s mouth accepts the toy, she feels such a surge of possessive want it almost makes her knees buckle.

“Fuck,” she whispers, surprising both men in front of her. Nomi curses—she does. Often. Usually in anger. But even she barely recognizes that dark tone, that word like a demand. Fuck. Her gloved thumb pushes Maran’s mouth open wider. He moans filthily. “That’s it,” she continues, giving her hips a gentle thrust. “Pretty boy.”

Later, Benny holds her cheeks and presses their foreheads together. His giant, beautiful blue eyes stare at her, almost in wonder.

A natural, he’ll tell her. Holy fuck, Nomi, you are a natural.

Instead, she’s in the moment. She’s fucking Maran’s mouth, the way he seems to like it. A little rough and messy. She’s moving him onto the bed and murmuring loving praises into his ears. She’s pulling off a glove and letting Benny help with the lube. She is in charge and tells her other boyfriend to move to Maran’s front. She watches them kiss, like she wants. She watches Benny and Maran’s tongues roll together.

Then, Nomi fucks him—she runs her hand down his spine and listens to the absolute keen of a sound he makes. She feels the sweat along his skin, the ripple of his muscles with every thrust of her body forward. Nomi watches, hypnotized, as his head drops onto the bed, as his hands curl into the blankets. She listens to the slapping sound of their bodies together. Her thighs sting with it, because Maran likes it hard.

She holds his waist and Benny grins at her. His pale, inked hands hold Maran’s face, keep it angled so she can see it from the side. How pretty he looks when he’s being taken care of. His hands make scrambling purchases over Benny, holding him tightly. He whines, pretty and adorable at the same time. He pants as well, tries to hold in moans and every time he does, Benny wedges fingers between his teeth.

“Louder, baby,” he’ll encourage. “Be loud for Nomi.”

And Benny’s right—she can tell when he’s close. Not just because he tenses all over and finally does get loud. Not just because he’s holding onto Benny with one hand, his other grasping hold of his cock and tugging furiously. But because he does thrust himself back. Hard—wanting. Desperately greedy for more of the toy. Nomi’s hands curl around his waist, force him to keep her desired pace. To beg.

He does—he makes messy sounding pleas for more until Nomi finally repeats Benny’s gesture. Her hands dip around his waist and onto his lower stomach. Maran falls into the bed harder. He cums so hard, one of his legs kicks with it. He buries his face into the blankets and muffles his crying orgasm. His shoulders look beautiful, tensing and flexing, all his back muscles dancing. Nomi’s hands move across them, feeling him shift in sensitivity.

“I love you,” she whispers through her own labored breathing. She cups his cheek, turning his face, kissing his skin. His sweat slicked, short hair. She repeats herself in case he didn’t hear it, but the way his whole body goes slack and submissive, she thinks he does. Benny, standing on the other side of the bed, finds Maran’s hand—and she equally loves him, for lacing pale digits between Maran’s and squeezing hard.

—

“I was worried I wouldn’t do it right.”

Nomi feels relief in admitting it. Maran’s hands cup her cheeks, make her face warm—which feels almost silly. That he’s able to pull a blush from her after she’d just fucked him almost senseless. He brings them closer, kissing her in a way that also dizzies her. Maran’s lips always taste good somehow—and his skin always smells good. You’re just in love, Xavier had told her when he’d asked how that is. Maran stinks sometimes, I promise. She figured he was lying, though.

A movie gets thrown on in the background, mostly for an undercurrent of noise. Benny does comment on it—a lot. Really enjoys whatever scifi thing he can find and force them into watching, despite his constant groaning when they find an animated film. But all three of them dissolve into a topic here and there; like some odd rotation all three inherently understand. Nomi then Benny then Maran then Benny again and then Maran again and then Nomi twice in a row—and no one manages to feel left out.

At some point it also goes silent between all three because the climatic ending of the movie surprises them. And also, Nomi suspects, because the silence feels good between them. Maran, too, between them. He gets that special treatment that also seems to rotate between them wordlessly. Nomi’s never had to ask ‘me tonight, please’. She’s simply found herself in between, nestled between their two, warm chests. Benny’s never had to make a comment for her to know—and for Maran to know—that he needs that extra attention.

She isn’t sure how that works. If maybe, they fascinate someone out there, the same way Xavier and Benji manage to capture her attention sometimes. If their relationship, healthy and whole and happy, between all three is something to ponder over.

“Is there anything you’ve been wanting to try?” Maran asks, with his silly suggestive smile. Somehow he manages to be just as sexy and Benny to her, even though they have such different ways of turning her on. His knuckles brush up and down her forearm, making her feel like another round isn’t off the table.

“Ice cubes,” Benny says from the other side of the bed where he’s desperately trying to find a charger for his phone.

“Maran asked me, loser.”

“Maran asked me,” he imitates, with a flapping, foppish hand.

Her body is suddenly pulled closer, Maran’s warm, muscular arms scooping her in. She blinks in surprise and the heat that was overwhelming her from before returns. She blinks at the prettiest brown eyes shes ever had the luck of looking at. She slowly raises her hands and puts them into an odd gesture that makes Maran’s head tilt curiously.

“Eiffel tower,” she whispers. Benny’s phone makes a slapping sound on the floor. She bursts into giggles at the look on Maran’s face an those giggles turn to full blown snorting laughter when Benny starts swearing under his breath.

[hoghtastic]

Am I the only one who finds it very strange that Johanne even changed her profile picture at all to one she took way back in what, like July or August? Especially knowing that her last 3 profile pictures were all pictures taken by Alex. Wouldn't just a new picture he's taken of her suffice if she just "wanted a change?" Because that would still do the trick as the last 3 pictures did if we assume it's to show, "We're together, he's mine, he took my photo, look. See?" Maybe I'm just being pissy and reading way too much into it, but it seems that her every move on Ig is for some kind of sneaky purpose so I just felt like they actually were having issues during the holidays, and now she's just being petty. Am I crazy? Please tell me I'm just crazy and just looking for something to complain about!

And honestly, I thought Alex's New Year's story was a jab at her. That unlike her, his every move didn't have to have a photo and be posted on the internet. We all know he takes pictures of practically everything, and he would know that him saying he "needs to take more photos" is laughable. (And side note, I actually did see at least 2 or 3 fanpages call him out for saying he doesn't take photos by posting the picture Nomi took of him literally taking a photo! 😋) So this is why I think he posted it to basically, "Pull a Johanne." Haha Again, am I just reading too much into it and giving him way too much credit? Definitely need to hear what you guys think......hoping you say I'm crazy....

Haha thank you for sharing your honest thoughts on this, anon! 😆 And, sorry to break it to you, but... no, I don't think you're crazy, not at all. Reading too much into it? Maybe. But aren't we all, especially in a place like this? 😉

Personally, I believe anything is possible at this point, so your theory is a plausible one. Judging by the change in her "posting pattern" during the holidays, it was discussed whether she and Alex had spent that time apart. And then, those assumptions turned out to be correct. What we don't know are the reasons behind this, since them being apart, Johanne not reposting the pictures Sladderkongen shared of her and Alex (but only the one where she was alone) and Alex's "cryptical" New Year's story seemed to denote some kind of "trouble in paradise" between them. However, when a fan's comment asked Johanne about Alex, she was quick to post a picture of the two of them, where he's lovingly kissing her head, as to show that everything is alright. Now, we don't know whether this is a recent picture or not, but the fact that she posted it seemed to serve the purpose of silencing the rumors that something isn't right between them.

What I also find a little strange, is that none of them posted a "2023 recap" so far, when they usually do so and this was supposed to have been a good year for them, especially since it was their first year together (officially) and they even travelled to some beautiful places. Could it be that something happened and that content doesn't make much sense to them right now, so they're refraining from posting it? Or maybe we're just reading too much into it once more, and they just didn't have the time/disposition to work on it yet, but will eventually post it later this month? Time will tell. 😊

Returning to the subject of Alex's story, it could indeed have been a dig at Johanne, just like her refraining from reposting Sladderkongen's picture of them could have been out of pettiness, especially if their hypothetical "quarrel" had anything to do with boundaries of what should and shouldn't be posted on IG. However, there are also other hypotheses to consider. Maybe he wasn't aware of Nomi's story when he posted his? So telling his followers that he didn't take many pictures during the holidays would be in accordance with his public persona — the one who's claimed that self-promoting on IG is boring, and that people could benefit from a day without phones. Or, just like this anon suggested, by mentioning his photography and intention of taking more pictures, he could be trying to direct people's attentions to a photography project in the near future? Or maybe there wasn't anything cryptical about his story at all, and he really meant what he wrote — that his New Year's resolution would be to take more pictures (maybe he would like to improve his photography skills this year?) and that he really didn't have any pictures to share from New Year's party (note that he didn't say he didn't actually take any pictures, just that he had none to show — so maybe none of those were flattering to the ones involved? 😆 Maybe he didn't want his followers to see him & his friends partying while drunk? And that's valid, of course.).

About Johanne's new profile picture, I think that your interpretation is also absolutely valid, especially under the light of "trouble in paradise" theory. However, even if everything is alright between them, maybe she entered 2024 with this "new year, new me" mentality? So if in 2023 a lot of people had this idea about her, that she was basically in "Alex's shadow", reaping all the benefits of being in a relationship with him and even claiming some kind of "ownership" over him, his clothes and his home, as well as the notion that she'd be unknown without him, maybe in 2024 she wants to distance herself from all that? Maybe she wants to prove that she can actually shine as her own person, without needing Alex's help? Or maybe we're reading too much into it once again, and she just really liked the disco balls and pink background. 😆

Whatever their reasons were, I believe that with the little info we have so far, it's only normal to speculate and try to find possible explanations, but we can't really tell with 100% certainty what's happening. However, in due time, I'm sure we'll understand it much better. Guess we'll have to wait and see! But until then, I believe it's okay to share your opinions and theories. So keep bringing them on! 😉