#and nobody wanted to go potty so there might be some accidents tonight but like. i cannot force a dog to go potty.

[threnodians]

so work was. absolutely horrible. well, i mean, not horrible but it certainly fucking sucked. it’s mostly because it was a whopping -2°F this evening so walking the 6 dogs was, uh, a lot.

i honestly cannot believe i’m about to say this because i hate the heat but considering my job requires me to walk dogs and shovel snow... i’ve had enough of this winter shit now, can i please have summer back??? 😭

[thruheavenandhighwater]

Adventures In Babysitting

Pairing: Calum Hood/ Female OC

Reqested By: N/A

Word Count: 7,922

Summary: Natalie and Calum host her six year old niece, Iris, for two weeks during her summer vacation. Adventures ensue.

Natalie Cooper loved her niece more than anyone else in the world. The only person who could even come close was her boyfriend, Calum. She'd left home to move to California just after Iris's third birthday, three years ago. The two of them talked on the phone and facetimed each other as often as possible, she'd even talked her sister in law into getting a Snapchat so that they could send each other funny selfies. She was lucky enough to be able to travel back home a few times a year and she lived for the time that they got to spend together during those visits. But, as much as they talked and kept in touch, Natalie still missed her terribly between those visits. Before she'd left, Iris was her shadow. Her little helper, her real life mini-me. So when Iris had asked her parents if she could visit Natalie in California during her summer vacation, she'd almost screamed with excitement.

Iris's mother, April was hesitant. She was only six years old and had never spent more than a single night away from home. Natalie and her brother, Ryan had assured her that she would be fine with Natalie. She was surprised to hear her brother defending Calum, since he’d never really been a big fan of her boyfriend. After what felt like years of consideration, she’d finally agreed, under the condition that she would call every day. A few more ground rules were set- no concerts, no out of state travel, constant updates and pictures- and finally, a date was set.

Natalie and Calum decided to go back to her hometown to pick Iris up and fly her back to California together. The day of their trip came so much more slowly than Natalie would have liked. She was nearly bouncing in her seat as the pilot announced that they would be landing soon.

“You might actually explode if you don’t calm down.” Calum giggled next to her, placing his hand over hers on the armrest of her seat.

“I’m just really excited.” She sighed, trying to calm herself down as he linked his fingers with hers. “I can’t wait to show her everything. She’s gonna, like, lose her tiny little mind.”

“Your brother already hates me. I don’t want to send his kid back home ruined after two weeks at my house.”

Natalie placed her free hand on his arm, just below his elbow. “If he hated you, she wouldn’t be coming with us at all.” She told him with a smile, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. “He just doesn’t love the idea that I moved away from home and he thinks it’s your fault.”

“But we didn’t even meet until after that!” He said defensively, just a little too loud.

“I know that!” She answered, just as loudly with a small laugh. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. “Besides, as long as we don't send her home with a tattoo, it'll be fine.”

“Okay, so then I have an appointment to cancel when we land.”

As soon as they landed, Calum immediately found her family waiting for the two of them in the airport. April held tightly to Iris's hand, looking like she was barely holding her back as she bounced on her heels when she saw Natalie and Calum approaching.

“Hey, peanut!” Natalie called out to her, dropping to her knees and opening her arms as soon as they were close enough. April let go of her daughter's hand and she ran into her open arms, nearly knocking Natalie over as she hugged her. “Are you ready to come to California with us?” Natalie asked excitedly as she pulled away.

“Yeah!” She answered, matching her level of excitement and nodding her head frantically. “Daddy said tomorrow!”

“Yup.” Natalie answered as she stood up. “I'm gonna visit with Grandma and Grandpa tonight, and then tomorrow, Calum and I are stealing you for two whole weeks.”

She glanced up at Calum as they walked towards the rest of her family. “Oh, hi Calum!” She said with a small wave, almost like she'd forgotten he was there.

“Hello,” He answered with a giggle and a wave. “We’re really excited for you to come stay with us.”

“I'm so excited!” She told him, bouncing again as they reached her family. “Me and mommy made a whole list of all the places I want to go.”

“You did?” He asked, kneeling down in front of her, placing one hand on his knee.

“Yeah! Mommy showed me pictures on the internet and everything!”

“So what's on this list of yours?” He asked as he stood up straight, taking her hand and following the rest of the group to the car. Natalie couldn't help but to smile as she listened to Iris rambling to Calum about all of the exciting places she wanted to see. Calum was just as enthusiastic as she was as he told her that they would try to do everything on her list.

Natalie loved seeing them talk and get on so well. Calum loved Iris, but she was always a little apprehensive about him. Nobody could really blame her, she'd only actually met him a handful of times and there was always at least a six month gap between visits. Part of Natalie was slightly worried about her visit, not sure how she'd act being around him constantly for two weeks. But as she sat in the back seat of the car with Calum, Iris sitting between them, and listened to her give him the entire history of Disneyland (the number one place on her list) she knew that she would be just fine.

“I don't know, munchkin.” He sighed. “Disneyland is pretty hard to get into this time of year.” Natalie rolled her eyes at him, knowing that they had three day tickets, complete with two nights in the Disneyland Hotel, already booked and waiting for them.

“‘M not a munchkin.” Iris said definitely, crossing her arms over her chest.

Calum giggled, “Ya look like a munchkin to me.”

“Mommy!” She whined. April turned around in the front seat to face her. “Calum called me a munchkin!”

She looked over at him with a smile. “Well, he's 25 feet tall, baby. Everyone is a munchkin to him.”

Everyone, including Natalie, had to laugh at the look of mock offense on his face. Natalie reached over her niece's head and tangled her fingers into the curls at the back of his head, scratching at his scalp lightly. “You're not 25 feet tall.” She said sweetly. “Only 24 and a half.”

“Thanks, babe.” He said, laughing along with everyone else.

Later that night, when Iris had fallen asleep after hours of claiming to be too excited for sleep, her parents sat Natalie and Calum down in her parents living room.

“She's potty trained, but she might have accidents…”

“We already put a cover on the bed.” Natalie said, cutting April off.

“Okay. And she can't sleep without-”

“Without a nightlight and her mouse book.”

“Yeah, and don't let her stay up too late or watch anything scary before bed.”

“So, Amityville is out?”

“Yes!” She looked at Natalie like she had three heads before noticing the smirk on her face.

“Relax, she's going to be fine.” Natalie told her, reaching over to place a hand on her back. “I'll make sure she calls everyday, and I'll send you a minimum of a hundred pictures hourly.”

“I'm just worried.” She sighed. “She's never spent this long away from us.”

“I know that, but I promise you that I would never let anything happen to her. And, if she ever wants to come home, it'll be no problem to fly back out here with her.”

Once April seemed to be as calm as she was going to get, Ryan spoke up, directing his attention to Calum. “I don't want her going to any of your rock concerts either.”

Calum glanced to Natalie, swallowing nervously before he answered him. “Uh, well, we actually don't start tour until next month.” He told him, his voice sounding much more relaxed than she had expected. “We're only doing rehearsals right now.”

“Are those as loud as the concerts?” April asked, her own nerves coming up again.

“Not at all.” He answered with a smile. “We usually keep the instruments on pretty low volume and there is no screaming crowd.”

“I've sat in on their rehearsals a few times, and it was nothing.” Natalie told her, pulling her attention from Calum back to herself. “But we don't have to take her to those. I'm sure she and I could find ways to entertain ourselves for a few hours.”

Natalie watched her pull her bottom lip between her teeth before turning to look at Ryan. “What do you think?” She asked him. “She likes watching those videos on YouTube. She would probably lose it if she could see it in person.”

“What videos?” Natalie asked.

“Videos of the bands concerts.”

Calum's face lit up at her answer.  “She watches our concerts?”

“Oh, yeah.” She said, smiling for the first time since she'd sat down. “She learned all the words to one of the songs just so she can scream the word underwear when she watches them.”

Natalie looked at Calum next to her, his smile was glowing and she couldn’t help but to smile along with him. Neither of them had any idea that she knew anything about the band, let alone that she watched them on YouTube and knew some of the lyrics. “I don’t think the guys would have a problem with her watching a rehearsal while she’s there.” He told them, his smile still covering his face. “It might be nice to try some of the new stuff in front of an unbiased audience.”

“Fine.” Ryan said. “Just don’t send her back with hearing damage.”

“Okay, so that’s a no to the three day heavy metal music festival, then?” They both shot Natalie a look, Ryan wasn’t amused, but April was. “Dude, I’m joking. The hardest we are going to get is whatever Radio Disney is bumping these days.”

Finally, a few hours later, both of them agreed that Natalie and Calum were as ready as they were going to get for the coming two weeks with her niece. April hugged them both as Ryan picked up his sleeping daughter from the couch. She opened her eyes just a little, rubbing at them with her small hand. “Goin’ to California, Daddy?” She asked quietly, already falling back to sleep on his shoulder.

“Almost, baby.” He whispered back to her before April shut the door behind them.

As Natalie and Calum tucked themselves into her parent’s spare bed a few minutes later, it was easy to see that something was off with him. “I don’t know,” He sighed when she asked him about it. “I just don’t know anything about six year old girls and I don’t want to, like, fuck this up or something.”

“You’re not going to fuck anything up.” She told him. “This is gonna be a great two weeks. Everyone just needs to relax.”

He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I usually am.” She answered with a smirk.

“Goodnight, baby.” He told her with a giggle, placing a quick kiss to her lips before she rolled over in his arms.

The next morning went just about as well as Natalie had expected. Iris was ready to go hours before they had to leave, so Natalie was busy trying to keep her occupied so she wouldn’t keep asking if it was time to go yet every five minutes. Calum helped Ryan load all of her luggage into the trunk of his car, and she were sure that he was receiving another lecture from her brother in the process.

When it was finally time to leave, Iris was the first one in the car. She had her seatbelt fastened and was yelling out the opened back door of the car while Natalie, Calum, Ryan, and April filed out the front door. Natalie could almost see her shaking in her seat as Ryan drove to the airport. Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he finally parked the car and they were able to collect the luggage from the trunk and head inside.

“Be good for your aunt Nat.” April told her, shedding a few tears as she hugged her daughter.

Ryan kneeled down to her level and put a hand on her shoulder. “No tattoos.” He said sternly.

“Just one?” She asked sweetly.

He smiled at her and pulled her into a hug. “Fine, one tattoo.” He said as he pulled away from her, shooting her a wink. He stood back up and handed her suitcase off to Calum.

“I want a phone call the second you land.” April told Natalie.

“Of course.” She answered. Natalie looked down to her niece, taking her hand in hers. “Ready, kid?”

“Yes!” She all but yelled. “I’ve been ready all day!” They all shared a laugh as she gave each of her parents one last hug. They made it about ten steps away from her parents before she turned around and waved goodbye one last time.

On the plane, Natalie and Calum sat on either side of Iris. She’d wanted the window seat, but Natalie wanted her to sleep before they got to California. The plane took off and Natalie could see the nerves all over her face. She took her hand and started to tell her all about the fun things they were going to do together, effectively distracting her. About twenty minutes into the flight, she leaned her head on Calum’s arm sleepily. He looked down at her for a moment before smiling up at Natalie.

Natalie pulled out a book from her purse and started to read while her niece napped and Calum played on his phone. She wasn't sure how long she'd been reading, but when she took a break and looked up, she swore her heart almost exploded. Her niece had fallen fast asleep against Calum, who in turn had his own head resting on his shoulder as he slept. Natalie snapped a quick photo on her phone, unable to pass up on documenting such an adorable moment.

Natalie shook both of them awake as the plane landed. Iris was still groggy as everyone started to make their way off of the plane. Natalie picked her up, but she was heavier than she had remembered.

“I’ll take her.” Calum said quietly, putting his hands out to her. “Grab the bags?” Natalie handed her off to him with a nod, smiling as she tucked herself into his shoulder.

She woke up fully by the time they made it to the lobby of the airport. Calum was still carrying her, making it a bit easier to navigate the crowds.

“This is California?” Iris asked, her eyes wide as she looked all around her.

They got out of the worst of the crowd and Calum giggled as he set her down. “This is just the airport, munchkin. Just wait until you see all the cool places on your list.”

Iris looked up at him, her eyes so full of excitement that it almost made Natalie want a kid of her own. Both she and Calum had decided that children weren't in the cards for them, but occasionally Iris would do something particularly cute and Natalie almost wanted to change her mind.

“Come on, peanut.” Natalie said, taking her niece's hand. “Let's head outside and call your mama while Calum gets your bags.”

Calum kissed her cheek quickly before taking a few steps from her. “I'll go ahead and call the car while I'm waiting. Get us out of here before someone sees me.”

“Sounds good. Meet ya out there?”

“Yeah.” He called back, already a few feet from them.

As they stepped through the doors of the airport, Natalie claimed a bench and unloaded their carry on bags in front of it as they sat down. She pulled out her phone and called April, who answered almost too quickly.

“Hello?” She said, sounding worried. “How is she? How was the flight? Is she okay?”

Natalie laughed and did her best to set her mind at ease. “She's great. Slept through most of the flight. Oh, I have the cutest picture I'm gonna send you when we hang up.” She told her, bringing a hand to her chest. “Anyway, here she is.” She told her as she handed the phone to Iris.

“Hi, mommy!” She said, her little voice loud with excitement. “Yeah, I did... California is so cool, mommy.”

She smiled to herself as she listened to her niece's half of the phone call. She stood from the bench, needing to stretch her legs as she gathered their bags and set them in her spot. She turned to the parking lot to watch for the car, stretching her arms above her head. She nearly jumped when she felt an arm wrap around her, followed by Calums quiet giggle behind her.

“Sorry, love.” He said, kissing her cheek. “Car should be here soon. How's the munchkin doin’?”

“Is it too late to get our money back from Disney?” She asked him, sparing a glance behind her before setting her eyes on the excited six year old girl beside her. Her hands were flying around as she told her mom everything that had happened, while she brushed her long, blonde hair from her eyes. “I think if we just take her around the airport she'll be fine.”

Just as Calum was about to speak up again, a sleek black car pulled to a stop in front of them. Calum loaded all of the bags into the trunk of the car while Iris hung up her phone call and handed the phone back to Natalie.

“We going to your house now?” She asked as they piled into the back seat.

“Yup.” Calum answered as he shut the door behind him and buckled her seatbelt for her. “You finally get to meet Duke.”

Her eyes got wide again as she turned to look at her aunt. “I get to meet Duke!?”

“Yeah,” she giggled.

“Oh, man. He's so cute.”

The trio spent the next three days exploring Disneyland together. On the first day, before they left the house, Natalie had given Iris a “special phone.”

“This is just for you.” She’d said as she handed her niece her old cell phone. “It can’t make calls, but you can take as many pictures as you want. And when we come back, I can help you send those pictures to your mama if you want.”

Iris took full advantage of having her very own phone to take her very own pictures. She made Natalie and Calum pose at various spots all over the park. “Okay, Aunt Nat, go stand next to Calum.” She instructed as the pair took their spots in front of The Haunted Mansion.

“Like this?” Natalie asked as she stood next to her boyfriend.

“Yeah.” She answered, looking through the camera on the phone. “Calum? Can you put your arm around Aunt Nat?”

Calum smiled and did as he was told, slipping his arm around Natalie’s waist. She turned into his side, placed her hand on his shoulder, and leaned her head down. “Perfect!” Iris cried as she snapped off a few shots of the smiling couple.

“Can I see?” Natalie asked as they walked back to join her niece. Iris handed her the phone and Natalie couldn’t stop smiling as she showed the picture to Calum. Iris was right, it was perfect. Even if it was shot from three feet from the ground, at an odd angle. “This might be my favorite one, peanut.” Natalie told her as she handed the phone back to her.

Iris also made all of the princesses and other characters that they met pose for her before she would let the Disneyland photographers take her pictures with them. Natalie made a mental note that they would have to bring her parents with them the next time they brought Iris to stay with them. She almost felt bad that they were missing out on seeing their daughter having this much fun.

The day after they got back to the house from Disneyland, everyone was a little exhausted. It was the first day of Calum’s tour rehearsals, and they decided to bring Iris along with them to the rehearsal space.

As Calum pulled into the parking lot, Natalie turned into her seat to face Iris in the back. “You might get to meet the rest of Calum’s band, if they’re here before we leave.”

Iris sat up straight, her brown eyes shining with excitement. “I get to meet them?”

Calum giggled and looked at her in the rearview mirror. He had loved seeing how excited she would get over the tiniest things that he took for granted daily. He put his car in park, taking a moment to appreciate the warm California sun as Natalie and Iris walked around the back of the car to join him.

“Ready to see your very first concert rehearsal space?” He asked as she came to stand next to him.

“Oh, yes.” She said, falling into step beside him as he led them inside.

When they opened the door, Ashton and Luke were already there. Luke had his back to the door, tuning his guitar while Ashton tightened a bolt on one of his cymbals.

“Cal’s here!” Ashton said loudly as the door closed behind them. “And he brought some pretty girls with him.”

Natalie looked down to Iris to see a bright red blush crawl across her niece’s cheeks. Luke turned to face them, offering all three of them a bright smile in turn before turning his attention back to the guitar in his hands. Ashton stood from behind his drums and walked over to the three of them. He fist bumped Calum and pulled Natalie into a quick hug, kissing her cheek lightly before kneeling down on one knee in front of Iris.

“Hello, sweetheart.” He said to her with a smile. He put one hand out to her, “I’m Ashton.”

Iris looked nervously to her aunt before placing her own small hand in his. “I’m Iris.” She told him, her voice small as she shook his hand.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” He said as he let go of her hand, resting his own hands on his knee. “Your aunt talks about you all the time. How do you like California?”

“Oh, I love it!” She told him, putting a hand in front of her. Suddenly all of her nerves seemed to disappear as she told Ashton everything about her trip so far.

“And we went to Disneyland and I met all of the princesses!”

“All of them?” Ashton asked, leaning away from her as he feigned surprise. “Even Ariel?”

“Yup. And Rapunzel and Jasmine and Cinderella and all of them.”

“So cool. You’ll have to introduce me to your new royal friends sometime.” He said with a giggle.

“Okay! And Aunt Nat gave me a special phone so I could take my own pictures, too.”

“She did? Well, I just have to see those pictures.”

Natalie brushed some hair from Iris’s face before placing a hand on her shoulder. “Do you want to tell Ashton what you told us in the car, peanut?” Iris looked up to her for a moment, as if she were asking if it were okay. Natalie smiled at her warmly and nodded her head, pushing her to talk to him.

“Um…” She started, her gaze falling to the floor as her hands tangled in the front of her brand new Disneyland t-shirt as she attempted to push through her sudden shyness. She looked up from the carpet, back to Ashton who flashed her another million watt smile. “Well, I watch a lot of videos on YouTube of you guys.” Natalie squeezed her hand on her shoulder slightly, letting her know that it was okay to keep going. “And um… And I like watching you the best because you look the most fun and the drums look really cool and I like it when you um, when you hit those gold things? And it’s really loud and everyone gets really excited and I think it’s, um… It’s really fun.”

Ashton’s smile grew, his dimples showing as he listened to her. He glanced up to Natalie quickly, scrunching his nose at how adorable the little girl in front of him was. “Well, thank you.” He said. She smiled at him, starting to calm down from the rush of nerves that had overcome her just a few moments before. “Hey, you wanna play a little bit with me? I can show you how to hit those gold things and make it really loud.” Iris perked up visibly, looking up to Natalie with pleading eyes. She giggled and silently nodded to her, giving her permission.

Ashton stood up in front of her and put his hand out to her. Once again, she took it and allowed him to walk her to the back of his drum kit. He sat down on the stool before picking her up easily and placing her on his knees. “Okay, so these are my drumsticks.” He said, handing a pair to her.

“Drumsticks.” She repeated quietly, earning a small laugh from the room.

“Yeah,” Ashton said with a giggle, taking both of her hands in his. “So, you just take these and hit the drums.” He told her, moving their hands over his snares. He hit them a few times before letting go, gesturing for her to do the same. She was cautious as she hit them softly a few times. “Go ahead, hit them as hard as you want. I promise you won’t break them.” She smiled at him before turning back to the drums in front of her. She raised the sticks high above her head and brought both down at the same time, hitting the snares with everything she had. “Yeah!!” Ashton cheered, his hands gripping her sides as he shook her lightly. “Good job!”

Natalie, Calum, and Luke all started to applaud Iris on her newfound drumming skills. As they were applauding her, her face turning red at all the attention she was receiving, the door to the rehearsal space opened for the final time as Michael arrived. “Training your replacement, Ash?” He asked with a smile before greeting Natalie and Calum in the same way that Ashton had.

“Hey, watch it, Cliffo. She just told me that I’m her favorite.” Ashton called to him. “Alright, Iris, you ready to make some real noise?” He asked her, his voice suddenly sounding very serious.

She nodded, “Yeah!”

Michael giggled as he pulled his guitar from its case. He slung the strap over his shoulder and started to tune it, still paying attention to the scene playing out behind the drums. Luke had given up on tuning, instead resting both hands on his instrument as he watched Iris excitedly learning from Ashton.

“Alright, then.” Ashton told her, lifting her slightly as he stood from the stool. He placed her on top of it so that she was standing almost taller than he did. He stepped behind the stool and lifted it, moving it as close to the drums as he could. “These are my cymbals. They make those big, crash sounds that you like.” He told her, one arm around her waist while the other was extended, pointing toward the equipment. “What you gotta do is take your sticks and hit this one as hard as you can. You think you can do that?”

Iris looked down at the sticks in her hand, then up to the cymbal before turning her attention back to Ashton. “Yes.” She said with a final nod. “Is it gonna be really loud?”

“The harder you hit it, the louder it’ll be.”

Iris looked back to the cymbal, took a deep breath and stretched her body toward it. Ashton put both hands on her sides again, holding her up as she lifted the drumsticks over the cymbal. With another deep breath she lifted her sticks above her head and brought them down on the cymbal. Her eyes grew wide as she listened to the sound that it made. She grinned widely as she turned back to Ashton. He nodded his head, silently telling her to keep going. And that is exactly what she did. She started to hit the cymbal with one stick at a time, each hit getting louder and louder. Everyone in the room started to clap again, this time a chorus of cheers and howls accompanying the applause.

She finished her solo and turned back to Ashton. Her smile was wider and more bright than Natalie had ever seen it. She reached for Calum’s hand and linked her fingers with his. He gave her hand a light squeeze and smiled down at her. They both loved seeing their lives come together like this in front of them.

“Thank you for letting me play your drums.” Iris said as she offered the drumsticks back to Ashton.

He smiled and pushed them back toward her. “Why don’t you keep those? Like a gift, from me to you.”

Iris threw her arms around his neck happily. “Oh, thank you thank you!”

“Aw, you’re welcome, sweetheart.” He said as he hugged her. When she pulled away from him, he picked her up and set her back on the ground. She smiled up at him and waved before running back to join Natalie and Calum.

“That was so cool!” She said quietly to Natalie as soon as she was in front of her.

“Yeah, it was.” Natalie agreed, nodding her head to match her excitement. “Do you want to take a picture with Ashton to send to your mama?”

“Can I?”

“We’ll have to ask, but I’m sure he won’t mind.” Natalie nodded toward Ashton, who was moving his stool back to where it belonged and adjusting a few things on his kit. Iris clutched her drumsticks with both hands as they approached him. He smiled down to her as they got closer, resting his hands on his thighs as she asked him for a photo.

“I’d love that.” He answered, putting his hands out to her. She stepped closer to him and allowed him to lift her to sit on his knees once more. She held her drumsticks tightly to her chest as Ashton wrapped an arm around her waist. Natalie took the photo, both of their smiles wide as they posed for her.  

The pair walked back to where Calum was still standing in front of the door. Calum put his hand on the small of Natalie’s back and leaned in to kiss her cheek. “You two heading out?”

“What do you say, kid? You wanna stay and watch or do you want to go to the mall with me?”

“Can we stay?” She asked. “Please?” She jutted out her bottom lip as she turned her attention to Calum. He smiled at her, she knew exactly how to work that fake pout just like her aunt did.

“Guys?” He asked, vaguely turning to his band. All three men smiled and nodded to them. “Looks like my favorite girls are hangin’ out then.” He said with a smile as he walked to join his band. He pulled his bass from its case and quickly tuned the instrument.

Watching the band perform was always something special. Whether it was a full arena show or just a rehearsal like this, they always put on a show. Natalie sat on a large armchair with Iris in her lap. Her hands wrapped around her niece as she happily watched them play their songs just for the two of them.

A few days later, Natalie and Calum took Iris shopping. She wanted to take souvenirs back home for her parents and all of her friends. They walked up and down the streets of LA, Iris holding Natalie’s hand as they made their way in and out of various shops.

Iris insisted on going into every single store that they passed. Natalie and Calum indulged her, walking through every store while she looked at everything, deciding if any of her friends needed anything they had to offer.

It was early afternoon when Calum suggested ice cream. He had hoped that a sweet treat would distract the excited six year old. It worked, to an extent. As soon as she finished her ice cream cone, she was ready to go again- this time with a bit of a sugar high to boot.

The three of them continued in and out of shops, Calum's hands growing full of bags as the afternoon went on. Just as they were walking out of a slightly upscale clothing store, they rounded a corner and Natalie heard Calum curse under his breath.

She looked up to him, her brows furrowing in confusion as she followed his eyes. A few yards ahead of them, she saw a group of about ten paparazzi with their cameras ready.

“Fucking leeches.” He grumbled.

“Cal, should we turn around?”

“Too late,” He answered, nodding in their direction. A few of them had spotted Calum and the whole group was migrating in their direction. “Take these.” He said, shoving the shopping bags into Natalie's hands.

He stopped briefly, crouching down to Iris's level to scoop her up into his arms. He situated her on his hip and took off the black  baseball cap that he was wearing, putting on her head and pulling it low over her face to cover her eyes. Iris tucked her face into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Don't say anything.” He told Natalie as he took her hand in his. “Don't answer any of their questions, don't interact at all.” He said, looking down to her. “Just walk and eventually they'll get tired and leave us alone.”

Natalie nodded, swallowing a lump in her throat as the paparazzi started to surround them. One particularly rude man started screaming into her ear, causing her to move tighter into Calums side as they walked.

Calum pulled his hand from Natalie's quickly. When she looked to him to question why, she saw that he had put his hand on her niece's back, cradling her small frame in his large hands. She smiled to herself when she noticed that his lips were moving against Iris's ear. She couldn't hear what he was saying, but he was smiling. She hoped that Iris was remaining calm.

“Can you just give us a little room, guys?” Calum asked loudy, pulling his face away from Iris's ear. “Don't wanna drop my niece.”

The paparazzi near Calum complied, stepping away from him as they continued to flash lights in his face. Natalie didn't fare so well. It seemed as though they were purposely getting closer, their yells getting louder in her ears and their flashes getting brighter in her eyes as she wrapped her arm around her boyfriend's bicep. The fingers of her other hand began to hurt as she gripped their shopping bags so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

She kept her head straight, fighting her internal urge to stare at the ground until they were away from the mob. She glanced up to find that Iris was still clinging to Calum, while his hand had started to rub her back. Natalie smiled to herself as she watched for a moment. That was exactly what Calum did for her when she would get stressed or anxious. He'd lay her against his chest, rub her back, and whisper to her that everything would be okay.

Paparazzi began to drop off one by one as they kept walking down the sidewalk. Within a few minutes, they were all gone. A few huddled together on the side of the road, showing their cameras to each other as they compared pictures. Natalie removed her hand from Calum's bicep, no longer needing to feel him as close as possible.

“Think it's time to head home.” Calum told her quietly. His hand was still on Iris's shoulders, holding her close to his chest.

“Definitely.” Natalie agreed with a nod. She put her hand into Calums front pocket, pulling out his car keys as they approached his car. She hit two buttons, popping the trunk as she unlocked the doors.

Calum walked to the backseat of the car, opening the door before setting Iris in the seat. Her legs hung out the door, over the edge of the seat as Calum crouched in front of her.

“Ya okay, munchkin?” He asked quietly. Natalie shut the door of the trunk after putting their shopping bags into it. She looked at the two of them, her heart dropped when she saw Calums hand cupping her cheek, his thumb seemed to be wiping away tears.

“'M not a munchkin.” Iris answered between pitiful sounding sniffles.

“You're right, you're not a munchkin.” He told her with a smile. “I'm sorry. I'll stop callin’ ya that.” He moved his hand to the back of her head and placed a kiss to her forehead.

Calum stood as Iris moved to sit properly in her seat. He helped her to buckle her seatbelt before joining Natalie in the front seat. He let out a deep sigh as he took his spot behind the wheel. Natalie reached over the center console and silently took Calum's hand in hers. He gave her a small smile before bringing their linked hands to his lips. His lips lingered on the back of her hand for a moment, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath through his nose.

The drive back to the house was silent. Nobody made a sound, other than the Top 40 hits that played quietly from the radio. Natalie texted April, filling her in on the incident and promising to have Iris call her the second they walked into their house. Calum was tense as he drove. It was clear to Natalie just in the grip that he had on her hand.

When they walked in the front door, Natalie and Iris went straight into the guest bedroom. Calum grabbed his pack of cigarettes from the kitchen counter and went to the back patio. He lit his first cigarette as he sat down on the steps of the patio. He rested his arms on his knees, the cigarette hanging from his fingers as he dropped his chin to his chest.

He kept replaying the entire scene over and over again in his mind. The tightness in his chest when he first saw the group of rabid photographers. The anger that bubbled in his blood when they'd swarmed around the three of them. The way that Iris's shoulders shook against his chest as she started to cry, the noise and attention too much for her to handle. It was moments exactly like that that almost made Calum regret being in the band. He loved what he did, but sometimes it go to be just too much.

He heard the glass door behind him slide open when he was just about half done with a second cigarette. Natalie glanced at the ashtray next to him as she stepped closer to him. She wasn't surprised to see a cigarette butt already in it. Calum had been trying to quit, but stress was always a trigger for him to light up again.

Natalie sat beside him on the step and plucked the cigarette from between his fingers. She took a drag, held the smoke in her lungs for a moment, and exhaled into the slight breeze that was blowing around them. She held the cigarette out, offering it back to Calum. He took it from her and she leaned her head into his shoulder with a sigh.

“How is she?” He finally asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over them.

“She thinks that you're mad at her.”

Calum pulled away from Natalie quickly. “What? Why would she think that?”

“She said she cried on your shirt.”

“Yeah, a little. But I'm not mad at her for it.”

“I know that, baby.” Natalie told him calmly as he put his second cigarette out in the ashtray. “But she's little and she's scared.”

“Should I go talk to her?”

“Not right now. She's on the phone with her mom and snuggling Duke.” She answered as she leaned back into him, grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers once again. “I told her we'd be out here and to come find us when she was ready. She'll be okay, she just needs to calm down.”

Calum turned his face slightly to rest on the crown of her head. He moved his free hand across his body to rest on her arm. “I just feel like shit that I let that happen.” He sighed into her hair.

“You didn't let anything happen. You didn't know that they'd out there today. You didn't do anything wrong. What you did do was hold that little girl in your arms and try to make her feel safe. That's what counts.”

There was a moment of silence between them. Both of them just silently going over their own thoughts before Natalie spoke up again.

“What did you say to her anyway?” She asked. Calum pulled his face away from her and looked down at her confused. “When you put your hand on her back. I looked up and I thought I saw you whispering to her.”

“Oh,” Calum smiled down to his feet. He reached to his almost empty pack of cigarettes and pulled one out, lighting it before he continued. “When she started crying, I swear my heart fuckin’ dropped, Nat. It was just the most pitiful little sound I've ever heard.” He paused briefly as he took a drag from his cigarette. “So, I tried to distract her. I asked her about her favorite parts about Disneyland. And what else she wanted to do before she went home. And when that didn't work I just told her to hug me and only pay attention to me and my voice. Told her that the other people didn't matter and if she just focused on me then they'd go away.”

Natalie felt a few tears come to her eyes as she listened to him. He really did love Iris almost as much as she did. It made her heart swell to think about.

“You're so good to her.” She said. “And to me. Thank you.”

“Don't thank me,” He told her with a giggle. He took one last draw from the cigarette in his hand before putting it out. “I just hated hearing her cry like that.”

“I know the feeling. The first time they dropped me off at the airport when I moved to LA, I almost didn't go through with it because those little tears almost got to me” She laughed.

Calum giggled, “'S enough to break your heart.”

They both turned when they heard the glass door slide open again. Iris slowly slipped through it, Duke on her heels as she tiptoed to her aunt. Natalie put an arm around her back as she put her lips to her ear.

“Will you tell Calum I'm sorry I cried on him?” She whispered.

Natalie pulled away from her, her arm still around her as she looked into her red rimmed eyes. “I will if you really want me to, but I think it would be better if you tell him yourself.” Iris looked unsure, a trace of fear in her eyes until Natalie nodded her head.

Iris turned away from Natalie to face Calum. She took a deep breath before timidly speaking up. “Um… Calum?”

“What's up?” He asked.

“Um… Uh… I just…” She balled her hands into the front of her shirt. It was a nervous habit that she had. “I'm sorry I cried on you and got your shirt wet.”

“It's okay,” He told her. “I'm not mad. And it's already dry anyway, see?” He gestured to his shoulder. Iris reached across his chest to touch the area of his shirt where she'd cried. Calum moved his shoulder closer to her until her small hand connected with his shoulder. He looked down to her hand and back up to her face as she felt the dry material.

“You promise you're not mad?” She asked shyly, looking up to his eyes.

“I promise.” He answered her with a smile.

Natalie smiled to herself as she watched her niece move to sit in Calum's lap. Her legs crossed over his thighs and he wrapped both arms around her. She laid her head against his chest.

“Calum, are you my uncle?” She asked him quietly.

He glanced to Natalie, who simply shrugged her shoulders with a smile. “Do you want me to be?” He asked her. She nodded silently into his chest. “Well, then I guess I'm your uncle.”

Iris looked up at him, a smile coming to her face for the first time. “You're my uncle and I'm your munchkin, right?”

Calum giggled and hugged her a little tighter. “Yeah, you're my munchkin.”

“You gonna marry aunt Nat?” The sudden question knocked the wind out of both Natalie and Calum, who exchanged a nervous look.

“Why don't we leave the boys out here and go whip up some food, kid?” Natalie said, just a little too loudly and she scooped her niece into her arms. “I'll teach ya how to make the best spaghetti ever.”

Later that night, Calum was lying in bed, his back against the headboard while Natalie changed into pajamas. “I am gonna marry you, ya know.”

Natalie smiled to him as she pulled a pair of sleep shorts up her legs. “Is that so?”

“Yup.”

“What if I don't want to marry you?” She asked with a smirk as she slid under the covers next to him.

“Baby, you've seen my dick and met my parents. You're stuck with me forever.”

She laughed, placing a hand on his cheek gently. “I can't argue with that.” She told him, moving her lips to his.

Natalie settled into Calums side, running her fingertips over his chest as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “The munchkin can be the flower girl. Baby Grandpa in a little tux.” He sighed, his free arm coming up to rest behind his head.

The pair spent the next few hours, tangled up in each other and exchanging quiet giggles so they wouldn't wake Iris. They brainstormed wedding ideas, and Natalie sighed sleepily into his chest, before yawning loudly.

“'S gonna be the best wedding ever.” She told him with a smile.

“Hell yeah it is.”

“Soon?”

“Soon enough.” He agreed. “But for now, we need some sleep. Got an excited six year old across the hall that wakes up earlier than the sun.” He laughed, kissing Natalie's hair. Soon they were both asleep, but only Calum had fallen asleep thinking about the small amethyst ring whose box was burning a hole in the bottom of his bedside table drawer.

He was going to marry her, after all.

~~~

Oh? Y’all thought Calum month was over just because his birthday is over and I posted my weekly Saturday fic? BITCH. NAH. Decided to purge my Google Docs in the name of Calum month. But this will, sadly, be the last fic for the month of January. I am genuinely sad to see it end, but I’m happy that y’all have enjoyed it! But, starting next Saturday we will be moving on. She was a good month, but all good things must end. 

If you have any requests, or would like to be tagged in future 5sos fics please let me know!

Tag List: @crownedbyluke @24kcalum @blue-skies-are-alright @lmao5sosimagines @therainydays4 @rosecth @thesoundsyoumake @kinglyhemmings @a-little-international @harryandthelesbians @lukescherrypie @ashotofblues @youngblood199456 @rexorangecouny @cashton-queen @tothemoonwithclifford @babylon-uncrowned @asht0ns-world @abitloudforanaccousticset @gettingjillywithit @itjustkindahappenedreally @dancingonanemptywallet @lustingforwunder @mysticalhood

[joylee56]

Have You Tried Turning It Off and On?

For Ifishouldvanish; Happy RCIJ!

For the prompt, ‘Hey, you’re the jerk...’

Rating: Explicit; Also Lacey has a potty mouth.

“I’m pretty sure nurse maid isn’t part of my job description.”  Lacey said.  

“You’re the project manager.  Babysitting is pretty much what project managers do.”

(part 3 of 3)

The afternoon before the regionals, a battered VW van pulled up in front of the pink house.  Even before Neal clattered down the stairs and out the door, Lacey rolled her eyes and muttered,  “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding.  Talk about cliché.”

“Five bucks says that thing runs on methane.”  Jeff came up behind her.

“No bet.”  She told him.  “Is Gold really going to let her drive his kid around in that thing?”

“At some point tonight I imagine he’s going to check the engine and the undercarriage, but, yeah, he’ll grit his teeth and let Neal go with her.”  Jeff shook his head.  “I never figured out what he saw in her.  Alice claimed that the attraction was because she was a free spirit.  Something Rum just could never be.  Myself I don’t buy it. After his Dad the last thing Rum would want is someone unreliable.”

“What’s the deal with his Dad?”  Lacey asked.  “He talks about the Aunts who raised him, but he’s never mentioned either parent.”

“Mom split when he was a baby.  Dad was a petty crook.  The Aunts got custody of Rum when he was eight because Dad got sent up the river.”  Jeff said. “And you have to get him really drunk before he’ll talk about his childhood before that.”

That explained his reaction when she told him about Dad.

The woman Neal pulled into the house was at least as tall as Rum.  Dark curly hair like Neal’s was pulled back in a pony tail.  She was darkly tanned in the way of someone who worked outdoors rather than a sunbather. Based on Rum’s comments Lacey figured her for early forties.  She might be tall but it would not be long before all that sun made her look a lot older, Lacey thought snidely.

Jeff greeted her in his most erratic manner.  Which since he’d just be speaking coherently to Lacey was clearly put on.  “Milah, my dear, back from the seas.  Any tales of adventure to impart?”

Without waiting for a reply, he added,  “This is Lacey French our new project manager. Lacey, this is Neal’s mother, Milah… is it still Cassidy, Milah, or has your rugged Captain finally gotten you to the altar?”

“It’s Cassidy.” Milah’s smile was a little forced as she shook hands.  Clearly Jeff’s antipathy toward the woman was mutual.

“Lacey’s been helping us practice for the competition, Mum.”  Neal at least was happy.  And missing the friction between his mother and Jeff.  “And she makes the best Tea.  With scones and custards some times.”

“That’s very kind of you.”  Milah was giving her the once over and was not impress with what she saw Lacey could tell.

So she thickened her accident and told the other woman.  “No worries.  Neal and his mates are good kids.”

Luckily Gold appeared before the conversation went further.  “Milah, you’re looking well.”    

“And you look the same as always, Rum.”  She responded.  “Still dressing like it’s 1950.”

“The customers expect professional attire from someone who bills at the rates I do.” Gold said blandly.  “Neal, why don’t you show your Mum her room and then we can have a nice cup of tea.”

“You want me to fix the tea?”  Lacey asked as Neal took his mother upstairs.  The boy was excitedly filling her in on his recent activities.

“No.”  Gold sighed.  “This is in no way your responsibility.”

“I was offering as a friend.”  She told him.  “Serve some of the scones I made for the kids’ snacks tomorrow.  Nobody can say I don’t make good scones.”

“They have white flour and processed sugar.”  Gold sighed.  “She won’t eat them.”

Lacey made a mental note to be sure to send Neal care packages while he was gone.  

After Neal had to run off to the last prep meeting before the conference.  Gold served Milah tea in the kitchen.  Lacey could not resist listening in.  

They spoke for awhile about the summer plans for Neal and then Milah asked,  “Where did you find her.”  Her tone was accusing.

Yeah, well, I’m not real impressed with you either, lady.  Lacey thought.  

“Lacey?  We really got lucky there.”  She winced.  When Gold was nervous he sometimes did not consider the subtext of what he was saying.  Not that Milah was not clearly already thinking along those lines.

“She was working at Megacorp.”  Gold continued.  “When they closed their office here we were able to hire her.  She’s fantastic at keeping Jeff on track.  Better than I ever was.  And she doesn’t mind at all having the kids underfoot while we’re working.  Neal has really taken to her.”

“Good strategy.” Milah said.  “Cozy up to the kid.”

“It’s not like that, Milah.”  For the first time Gold’s voice took on an edge. Good he was finally standing up for himself.  “And even if it were, you lost the right to comment on it ten years ago.”

“I didn’t mean it that way.  It’s just she doesn’t seem like your type.”  

“She’s smart, efficient and kind to my son.  All of which rate high in my book for both a co-worker and a friend.”

Lacey rode to the regionals with Jeff and Grace.  She decided Neal did not need her and his mother at odds before the competition.  The Team did pretty well, considering their inexperience.

At the end of one extremely difficult round, Neal pulled out a win by correctly answering a geometry question he and she had practiced for what seemed like hours.

“Alright!” Lacey shouted.  Pumping the air with her fists.

Then she remembered that nobody else was as much as clapping.  Neal was looking embarrassed.  Damn.

The moderator looked amused.  “That your Mom, Neal?”

“Uhm, no.”  Neal muttered.  “That’s Lacey.  She works with my Dad.”

“She helped us prep.”  Morraine put in loyally.  “She made flash cards and drilled us.”

“And she makes the best scones.”  August added as if it explained everything. “She’s Australian.”

Which it kind of did.  Back in Sydney the audience would have been a lot less stodgy.

In the end the team placed fourth.  Which was not high enough to get them a place at the National event, but did leave them the team to beat next year.  They did not seem too disappointed.

The first day after Neal left with his Mother, Lacey brought food to work.

“What’s that?” Gold asked.

“Neal made me promise to look after you while he was gone.  So I figure I better make sure you get at least one healthy meal a day.”  She held up her casserole.  “Chicken curry.  I’m not sure it will be as authentic as your neighbors in Glasgow used to make, but Dad swears it’s delicious.”

Gold frowned.  “I don’t need a minder.”

“According to Neal you loose track of time when you get programming.  I’ve seen you do it so don’t deny it.  And Jeff’s working short days while Grace is out of school so you’ll have no one you need to keep on time for.”  She pointed out.  “So either humor me, or I tell Neal.  You don’t want to spoil his summer worrying about you do you.”

“You are a very evil young woman.”  Gold told her.  Then,  “Fine.  But we’ll split the cooking.  And you’ll share the dinner every day.  I suspect you live on noodles when you don’t eat here.”

So they started having a nice sit down dinner every mid-day.  They generally cooked enough to feed Jeff and Grace when they were about.  Since most often they were not, that made for left overs for Rum to have for supper.

It occurred to Lacey that she was spending more time with Rum than she had with any number of boyfriends.  And enjoying his company more.  He was a friend she decided and refused to think about it further.

Or she tried not too.  Her friends were not making it easy.

She worked late one night writing the help manual for the program.  When Rum caught her falling asleep at her desk he told her,  “Go upstairs and crash in the guest room.  You’re no good to us exhausted.”

Jeff had already arrived when she made it downstairs the next morning.  He took one look at her in yesterday’s outfit and exclaimed.  “Well it’s about time.  I thought the two of you were going to dance around each other forever.”

“I just crashed in the guest room because I was too tired to drive home, Jeff.  It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“Of course not.” He smirked.  “However the two of you want to play it, little doily. Just know you have my blessings.”

They were getting close enough to finished to start thinking about how they were going to start their marketing efforts.  Once again her buddy Google came through with an answer.  She excitedly told Gold about it.  

“I’ve been looking into it and we should announce Vizeercalc at the big computer conference in Vegas end of the month.  Not only would we get a good shot at some publicity from all the tech reporters looking for material, but we’ve basically got our target market as a captive audience.  I managed to sweet talk the organizers into giving us a presentation spot.  It’s Friday morning, which isn’t a time most companies want, but it could actually work for us cause that will give us the rest of the weekend to hit up distributors and sell product.  Isn’t that great?”  

Gold did not look like he thought it was great.  If anything he looked slightly nauseous.  “A presentation?  At the Vegas conference?  There are thousands of people at that thing.”

“Well, I doubt we’ll be lucky enough to have thousands attending our presentation. Although you never know, if we can get enough buzz going we might get one of the large conference rooms.  Which would be great.” Lacey enthused.  “We’ll need a demo and to work on what you’re going to say.”

“What I’m going to say?”  He now looked actively ill.  “No. Oh, no.  I couldn’t.  I’ll put together a demo for our booth and talk to the distributors, but I’m not doing a presentation.”

“Well, we can’t expect Jeff to do it.”  Lacey pointed out.  “The guy’s barely coherent on a good day.  I’m not sure we should even take him to Vegas.  It’d upset his routine too much.”

“Well, I’m not doing it either.”  Rum stated.  “Call them back and cancel it.”

“What?”  Lacey was near losing her temper.  “Do you have any idea how much sweet talking and butt kissing I had to do to get us on the schedule for a presentation?”  

He was rubbing his fingers together.  “I don’t care.  I’m not doing it.”

Then it dawned on her what the problem was.  “You afraid to speak in front crowds?”

“I didn’t even like to give reports at company meetings.”  Rum admitted.  “Alice used to do them for me.  I’m okay sitting off to the side and answering questions, but to be the center of attention like that… I just can’t.”

“Could you answer the technical questions if I did the actual talk?”  This was too big a chance for them to pass up.  “I mean you’d have to write the speech for me, but I did some acting in high school.  I can memorize a script.  I just can’t answer the questions.”

“I could do that.” He agreed.

So she booked them. And nearly had a heart attack when she saw the cost of the hotel. “Rum, the hotel wants to charge us as much as my rent for two rooms for three nights.�� What would you think about sharing a room?”

Gold blinked.  “Uhm, that it would violate Golden Hat’s Sexual Harassment policy.”  

“Since when do we have a Sexual Harassment policy?”

“Since you came up with the idea of us sharing a room.”  Gold retorted.

She had to snicker. “I promise not to harass you.”

“Still, pay for the rooms with my personal credit card.”

She manage to get adjoining rooms.  Because they were going to have to coordinate a lot of stuff and that would make it easier.  “But don’t worry.  You can lock your side at night to make sure I don’t ravish you.”

Jeff had snorted at that.  “I don’t know why you’re bothering to pretend at this point.  Neal’s not here to keep up appearances for.  Not that he hasn’t figured it out.”

So Friday, the first morning of the biggest computer conference in country, Lacey strutted out onto the platform set up as a temporary stage.  Wearing a tight short black skirt with a white silk blouse, and a pair of black four inch pumps.  Regina had helped her pick out the outfit.  They decided to err on the sexy side of 'professional but sexy'.  “Because chances are most of the guys there are more familiar with what professional women wear in the movies than in real life.”  Regina had pointed out.

She had done a social media blitz that had gotten their presentation upgraded to one of the larger conference rooms, and it was full.  With people standing in the back.

“Hellooow, Vegas!” She waved out at the crowd.  “Are we having fun yet?”

There was a weak murmur from the audience.  “Oh, come on, mates.  We're in Vegas. Is any place more going off than this?”

They had all decided she would stress her accent.  Rum had muttered something about.  “It will be more memorable.”  From the way Jeff smirked it was clearly an inside joke between them.

The audience laughed at all the right places in her presentation, so she figured it went pretty well.  Rum ran demos of the program in real time on the screen behind her and answered the technical questions from the audience. Surprisingly there were a lot of non tech questions she could answer.

Like  “Why do you call it Vizeercalc?”

“Because the original version was developed while our head programmer was working at Enchanted Software.  As many of you may remember all of Enchanted’s programs had names with a fairy tale connections.” She told them.  “It’s a visual calculator hence Vizeercalc.

“And our lawyer says changing the names and getting new trademarks is a whole lot more trouble than learning to live with some silly names.”  She grinned.  “We’ve decided its going to be a feature of Golden Hat’s new product line.”

“Are you going to re-release Enchanted’s Daggerquest:”  The next guy in line asked.

Lacey did not remember that one.  Gold just shrugged at her.  “Well it wasn’t in the top ten programs we’re updating for release.  But if there’s a demand for it we’ll get round to it eventually.”

“You have to re-release Daggerquest.”  A woman in the third row spoke up.  “I loved that game as a kid.  If was one of the few games at the time that allowed you to play a female character.”

“And it had the best puzzle’s.  It took me weeks to figure out how to get past the Wyrm on level 12.”  Another voice spoke up.  

Clearly they needed to do some market research and not just rely on Jeff’s preferences. “We’re going to be putting up a poll on our website as to what you’d be interesting in seeing brought back.  Check it out in a couple of days and tell us what you think.”

“That actually went pretty well.”  Gold told her when they finished the question and answer period and were back at their booth.  “Be sure to let Jeff know you’re going to be adding a poll to the website.  And be sure to make them give you their email so people can’t vote multiple times.”

“I knew the minute I said that you’d dump it on me.”  Lacey sighed.  “At least it will give me something to talk about in the next couple of blog posts.”  

About mid afternoon Lacey got approached by an Asian man in a suit who bowed and presented her with a card.  Not knowing what else to do she returned the bow and gave him one of her brand new cards in return.

Which seemed like the right thing to have done because he smiled broadly.  “A pleasure to meet you, Ms. French.  I saw your presentation this morning.  Most informative.  I was curious to know if it would be possible to adapt your program for use on our game machines?”

She glanced at the card.  Holy shit.  Somehow she kept her smile.  “I imagine so.  Let me get our head programmer and he can address the more technical aspects.”  

Gold was running a demonstration showing off a bunch of Greek letters for a couple of professor types.  She dragged him away, inviting the professors to experiment on their own.

“Nintendo wants to know if if you can get Vizeercalc to run on their game machines!”  She hissed in his ear.  

“It already does.” Rum informed the Nintendo guy calmly.  “Or at least it works on the Switch.  I set it up for my son to use for his homework.  We don't have a Wii so I've never looked into what that would entail.”

It seemed that Nintendo would be delighted to supply him with the developers kit and a console for him to do so.  They set up an appointment to discuss the details of getting the program marketed through the Nintendo game shop the next afternoon.

After the guy left Lacey sank into a chair.  “You freak out a the idea of doing a presentation, but Nintendo wants to make a deal and you're cool as a cucumber.  Rum, you're killing me here.”

“It's just another marketing company.”  Rum shrugged.  “They're always looking for new product.  We won't make as much on the ones they sell as the ones we sell ourselves but the volume will probably make up for it.”

Lacey made a cup of tea to settle her nerves and did an internet search to see if anybody had any good advise for bargaining with Nintendo.  Gold went back to his professors.

Who both ended up buying a copy.  “They want to know if we'll give an institutional discount if they can talk their IT department into buying the program for the Uni.”  He reported back.

“We need to discuss that tonight when we call Jeff.  I'm inclined to, but we need to decide how much.”  

After that they closed up the booth and went in search of dinner, neither of them being particularly inclined to try any of the restaurants in the hotel.  “I like sushi as well as the next girl.  But I’m not eating it in a state that’s landlocked.”  Lacey declared.

They ended up at a Mexican place off the strip recommended by the taxi driver.  Lacey restricted herself to one beer in the knowledge that they were going to be hitting a lot of parties tonight to mingle with distributors.

Rum tried the horchata and rather liked it.  “Reminds me of the way I used to make tea for Neal when he was a wee one.  Enough actual tea for color and the rest milk and sugar.”

“You do drink don’t you?  Cause all of these ‘hospitality suites’ are going to be offering booze.”  If he kept any liquor in the house it was well hidden.

“I’m a bad Scotsman in that regard.”  He admitted.  “I mean, I enjoy a good whisky, but Jeff and Alice were the only ones I’ve had to drink with since Milah left and since the accident Jeff can’t mix alcohol with his meds, so a night out on the town has been Granny’s for ice cream of late.

“Usually when I go to these business functions I get a beer and stand around holding it.”  He explained.  “Nobody pays attention to whether you’re actually drinking or not and that way I don’t have to suffer American beer.”

“This Mexican stuff’s not bad.”  Lacey took a sip.  “I mean not up to Guinness standards, but it’s better than the fizzy water that passes for beer here in the states.”

Rum proved to be as bad at networking at the hospitality suites as Lacey had expected him to be.  She took to leading him around and only bringing him into the conversation when there were technical questions she did not know the answer to.  This appeared to suit him just fine.  He even periodically fetched her drinks.  Although she noticed that the drinks got mixed weaker and weaker as the evening progressed.

They had their best luck at the Newegg hospitality suite.  Lacey did not even have to complete her pitch before she got passed on to a marketing specialist.  They left with a packet detailing their options for selling through Newegg and an appointment tomorrow to discuss terms.

“I like the looks of the premier package.”  Gold commented as he looked through the packet.  “And the commission they charge seems quite reasonable. Are we done for the night?  I’d like to get some sleep.  It’s going to be a long day tomorrow between manning the booth and meeting with both Nintendo and Newegg.”

Lacey checked her list.  “Yeah, we’ve done all the heavy hitters.  We can talk to some of the smaller folks tomorrow after our meetings.”

Their adjoining rooms came with a connecting door.  Lacey got ready for bed and was about to turn off her light when she noticed the light was still on in Gold’s room.

In deference to Gold’s shyness she knocked on the door and called out,  “Rum, you decent?”  before pushing it open.  

He was seated at the table with his laptop.  “Damn it, Rum, you said you wanted to get some sleep.  If you stay up all night programming you’re not going to be good for anything tomorrow.”

“I just wanted to unwind a bit.”  He glance up at her and then quickly looked away.

The over-sized tee shirt she was wearing to sleep in covered more of her than many of her daytime outfits.  He had no reason to be bothered.  

The reverse was certainly not true.  He was wearing a snug tee shirt and a pair of loose pajama pants that showed off the muscles of his arms and shoulders and lean hips.

It was not like she had not admired the fit of his tailored slacks, but she was getting quite an eyeful here.  

Get a grip, girl. This is business.  “Don’t make me take away your computer.  If you want to unwind watch some TV.  I’m sure the hotel has a porn channel.  Believe me, if Jeff notices it on the bill he’s not going to complain.”

Gold blushed.  “He’d probably cheer.”  He muttered.

“Exactly.  Now get to bed.”  She shut the door firmly on the way back to her room.  It was almost tempting to offer to watch a porno with him just to see how embarrassed he would be.  

And a small part of her would kind have wanted him to take her up on it.

The meetings with Nintendo and Newegg went very well.  Nintendo wanted them to come back Sunday and sign a contract.  They sent off the draft to Regina for her review.  Which got a text in return.  “You do know it’s Saturday don’t you?”

“She just likes to snark.”  Gold said.  “She’s enjoying all this.  It’s exciting compared to the patent and employment law she usually does.”

“Not to mentions she’s billing us $400 an hour.”  Lacey pointed out.

“It’s worth it. She’ll make sure the contracts are on the up and up.”

After lunch they were back working the booth, when a big athletic fellow that topped Gold by half a head suddenly walked up to him and slapped him on the back.  “Rum!  Good to see you.  How the hell have you been?”

The slap knocked Rum forward a step and Lacey could see him fighting to keep his balance. She was close enough to grab his arm and help him.  

“Mr. Hordor.” Rum nodded briefly at the larger man.  “Uhm, very well, thank you. Lacey, this is Mr. Hordor.  He was Alice and my manager when we worked at Ogre Inc.  Mr.  Hordor, this is Lacey French, Head of Marketing for Golden Hat.”

Well that was true in the sense that Gold and Jeff passed off all the marketing stuff to her, but the way he said it made it sound like she was his boss or something.  And wasn’t this the guy that Jeff disliked because of the way he had treated Alice?

Hordor was delighted to meet her. And they exchanged small talk for a few minutes before he got down to what he really wanted.  “I’m with Dark Computer now, you know.”

“I hadn’t heard.”  Rum was not looking the guy in the eyes.

“Yeah.  We make custom built computers.”  

Which they marketed at a price that made Dell look reasonable.  But they mostly sold them to companies like Megacorp that needed specialized or outdated equipment.  She had researched them when she was writing her proposal back at Megacorp.    

Hordor when on, “I’ve been telling everyone about this program you’re marketing.  Looks a lot like that one you worked on at Enchanted.  I always thought it was a real shame Ogre didn't do more with that, but the powers that were had a ‘vision’ of how their programs were suppose to interact and the stuff you and Alice wrote just didn’t fit in a lot of the time.  Left me caught in the middle as the hatchet guy.”

“It was a long time ago.”  Gold murmured.

“And now you’ve got the chance to market it yourself.”

They were not making any secret of Vizeercalc’s history.  “We’ve made some significant updates to it, but the basic principal is the same.” Lacey said, since Gold was not saying anything.

“It looks like a real decent little program.  Anyway we’d like to set up a meeting tonight to talk about bundling it with our system.  Say seven o’clock?”

“Yes, of course.” Gold told him.  

After Hordor left, Lacey turned to Gold.  “Are you nuts?  Jeff would have our scalps if we agreed to do business with that guy.  And Dark Computers has an awful reputation for how they treat their suppliers.”

“Oh, if I can pull this off I think Jeff will love the deal.”  Rum smiled wickedly. “We’ll need to get you properly prepared though.  I’m going to write you another script.”

In the end they set up a chat on their tablets.  There were too many variables for her to work off of a script so Gold was going to prompt her from his tablet. They lucked out and they were seated at a table so he could hold the tablet on his lap and hopefully the folks from Dark Computing would not be able to see what he was doing.

Lacey once again ran through her presentation.  Cutting some of the broader jokes since the audience was a lot stodgier.  

At the end the guy in charge, a Mr. Zoso said.  “Hordor was right.  This would be a useful little program to add to our bundle.  What sort of licensing fee are you asking?”

“I’m afraid we don’t license our programs.”  Lacey smiled sweetly.  

They had actually discussed this when they worked out their fee structure.  Gold’s comment had been.  “After all the trouble to get it, I’ll burn the source code myself before I’ll let anybody else get there hands on it.”

“What we can offer you is an arrangement whereby you give your customers a confirmation code allowing them to download the program from our site.  We provide all the customer service.  You don’t have to do any installation and you only pay for the program for those customers who actually download it.”

She went on.  “And because of Mr. Hordor’s prior relationship with Mr. Gold and Alice Milliner we are prepared to offer you our Antiqam plan.”  She brought up the slide Gold had hastily put together while she studied for the meeting.  “As you can see there is a sliding scale base on number of units sold.  You’re the only one we have offered this deal here at the conference.”

Mr. Zoso barely glanced at the slide.  “We’ll want another twenty percent off that.  After all we’re a major computer supplier.  Having your product distributed with our machines will increase your name recognition immeasurably.”

Gold texted.  ‘Agree 3 years’.

“I think we could do that.”  Lacey said it reluctantly.  “We would need a long term commitment at that rate.  Say five years?”

Zoso looked smug when he talked her down to three.  They signed a summary of the agreement and promised that Regina would get a contract over to them first of the week.  Hordor walked them to the elevator.  “This is great.  I knew we could put a deal together when I heard it was you.”

“Indeed it worked out very well.”  Gold answered.

Once they were alone on the elevator, Lacey said,  “I still don’t think we should have called it the Antiqam plan.  What if somebody who speaks Arabic sees it?”

“I very much doubt a company like Dark Computing has anyone in management who speaks Arabic and the tech people who do aren’t going to be inclined to translate it for them.  Their employee relations are even worse then with their suppliers.”  Gold was grinning.  “Let’s call Jeff and tell him the good news.”

They found an unoccupied corner of the hotel bar to make the call from.  Lacey told the server.  “We just cut a big deal and we want your best bottle of champagne.

“Well your best under a hundred bucks.”  She added.  “It wasn’t that big a deal.”

The server, clearly used to tech nerds, suggested,  “I’ve got a very nice Cava Brut that is much better than any champagne we have in that price range.”

“As long as it has bubbles bring it on.”  Lacey told her.

By that point Gold had told Jeff about the sale to Dark Computing.  He put his phone on speaker so she could hear the response.  “Are you out of your fu… freakin’ mind?!  Making a deal with that… thug.”

Apparently Grace was still up.

“We even gave him the special Antiqam deal.”  Lacey told Jeff sweetly.  “Minus twenty percent that is.”

“Antiqam?  I don’t remember any Antiqam plan.”  Jeff said.

“That’s because we put it together this afternoon.”  Gold told him.  “It’s our standard vendor sales package except we tripled all the prices.”

There was dead silence for a minute.  “So we’re selling them the right to distribute Vizeercalc to their customers at...”

“With the twenty percent discount they’re paying us forty percent more than we’re charging our retail customers.”  Rum was grinning wickedly again. “And they’re going to be promoting it as a special perk to all their corporate customers.

“Antiqam is Arabic for revenge.”  Gold explained.

“Oh.  Oh!”  Jeff started to laugh.  “It’s perfect.  Alice would have loved it. You’re hitting them where it hurts the most, their bottom line, and Hordor will probably never realize he’s been had.”

“At some point I imagine somebody at Dark Computing will check our website and realize they’ve been had.  At which point they’ll stop distributing it, but until then we should have a very nice income stream.”  Gold said.

The wine came and Jeff joined in a drink over the phone.  He treated himself to a can of Dr. Pepper.  

Lacey toasted.  “To Dark Computing, may their due diligence always be as sloppy as it was today.”  

Jeff came back with, “To the best deal makers and partners a guy could have.  Enjoy the rest of the conference guys, you’ve earned it.”

After they hung up, Lacey commented,  “We forgot to tell him about Nintendo and Newegg.”

“It can wait until we get home.”  Rum sipped his wine.  “He’s too excited about the deal with Dark Computing to take those in anyway.”

“And rightly so.” Lacey poured herself a second glass.  ““You were such a badass today.  I didn’t know you had that kind of sneaky in you.”

He shyly bowed his head.  “I couldn’t have done it without you, Lacey.  You’re not who I thought you were when we met.  I’m sorry for judging you like that.”

“I don’t exactly go out of my way to correct the impression.”  Lacey told him.  “But I misjudged you as well.  You’re not that shy little nerd.  Or not just the shy nerd and I’m glad.”

That brought on the cutest little shy smile.  “I’m glad I got you fired.  Otherwise you wouldn’t have come to work for us and we’ve never have gotten to know each other.”

“Finally you admit you got me fired.”

He shrugged.  “Like Jeff says, I was in the chain of causation.”

What the hell.  They were in Vegas.  “We need to celebrate!”

“I thought we were.”  Gold smiled some more as he raised his glass of wine.

“Really celebrate.”  Lacey tossed back what was left of her wine and grabbed the bottle to take with them.  She grabbed Rum’s hand with her free one.  “C’mon.”

“Where are we going?”  He asked as she pulled him to the elevator.

“Your room.”

“M-my room?”

“Well mine’s got all the stuff from the booth piled all over it.”  She explained. She let go of his hand. Running hers up his chest.  “Unless you’d don’t want to?”

“Uhm, how much have you had to drink?”  He asked.

“Oh, come on, Rum. You seriously think two glasses of wine is enough to make me tipsy?” She laughed.  “It’s very responsible of you to ask, but I am more than capable of giving consent.  How about you?  I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you in a drunken state.”

“I’m definitely feeling light headed.” He bent down and dropped a gentle kiss on her lips.  “But I don’t think it’s the wine.”

“Great.”  The elevator had made it to their floor.  “Hold that thought while we get somewhere more comfortable.’

Once they were in his room she pushed him against the door and proceeded to kiss him properly.  He was a surprisingly good kisser.  She had her hands in his hair and was plastered against him when he pulled back for a minute.  “Uhm, maybe we should, uhm bed?”

“Good idea.” His leg probably wouldn’t take a standing position.

She kicked off her heels as they headed for the bed.  Once there they went back to kissing.

After several moments of very nice kissing, his hands started to wander.  First to her waist and then up to cup her breast.  “That’s nice, but I prefer you play with my nipples.”  She told him.  Sitting up she pulled off her top.

“Quick rubbing to start with, but once things get going light pinching is good too.”

Rum blinked at her and then smiled.  “As you wish.”

He was good at following instructions.  It did not take long before he had her bra off.  Then his mouth joined his hand.  She was getting wet and they did not even have all their clothes off.  She started to remedy that by getting rid of his tie and unbuttoning his shirt, but could not get the shirt off lying like this.  “Cuff links?  You wore a shirt with French cuffs to a convention?”

He sat up and undid the cuff links, dropping them on the night table.  This gave Lacey a chance to get his belt undone and go for his zipper.

“Uhm, I don’t have any...”  

“Condoms?  Pretty sure I’ve got a couple in my purse.”  She had dropped the tiny bag she was carrying next to her shoes.  “Yep, I’ve only got two though so we’ll need to plan ahead.”

“While I appreciate the compliment, I doubt that will be an issue.”  He looked a little embarrassed.

“No worries.” She sashayed back to the bed and proceeded to slide out of her skirt. She figured he would enjoy removing her knickers.  Besides they were a pretty blue lace.  “I’m not picky as long as I get off at some point.”

“I shall do my best.”  He smirked slightly.

This was fun.  Most men were way too serious in bed.  Especially the first time.  

They got rid of Rum’s shirt and trousers so they were down to a level playing field.  He went back to her breast to make up for the interruption.  

When she started wiggling her hips his hand slid down to play with the edges of her knickers.  “How do you like to, uhm, get there?”  He asked.  

“I don’t generally come just from fucking.”  If he was going to ask, she would certifiably tell him.  “Not without some stimulation before hand.”

“Fingers or would you like me to… uhm, use my mouth?”  His voice trailed off.

For a shy guy, he did not seem to have much problem getting to the point.  “If you’re offering oral, I’m not turning it down.”

“I rather like to.”  He sounded embarrassed, but he was scooting down the bed to get level with her hips.

Together they pulled off her knickers.  He kissed up the inside of her thighs, and then on to her folds.  

“Yeah, that good.” She encouraged.  As he tongue came into play, she squeaked.

“Good?”

“Fuck, yes!  Don’t stop.”  She was really learning to love that wicked grin he got.  

He added a finger to what he was doing.  She was rapidly losing the ability to concentrate.  One thing she was sure of.  “Rum, fuck me.”

At some point in the proceeding that she had missed he had already gotten the condom on. It took only moments to crawl up the bed and line them up.  He slid into her slowly gauging her reaction.    

Their height differences left them nicely face to face.  She slipped her arms around his back and encouraged him.  “That’s good.  Keep going.”

His thrusts were too slow to start.  But at, “Faster please.” He picked up the pace.

“Oh, God, Lacey. You’re so… It’s…”  He kissed down her neck.

Words were overrated at this point.  She wrapped her legs around his butt and crossed her ankles to get some leverage to push back against him.  She was getting close.  She could feel the pulsing that started her orgasm.  “Yeah, like that.”  She tightened around him as she came.  Pulsing harder now.  Her breath matching the pulses and making her light headed.

She crested and rode the end of the pulsing.  Rum had stilled, but was still hard inside her.  “Okay?”  He asked.

“Fine fucking tastic.  Go ahead.”

He kissed her some more as he got his rhythm back.  He seemed to like her tightening her legs as he thrust, so, now she tried to match him.  Even after her own finish he felt good pushing and then retreating.  She was a little sorry when he lost the rhythm and finished.  

He pulled out and rolled over before he softened enough for the condom to get loose.  A gentleman to the end.  She handed him some tissues from the nightstand.  He used them to wrap the condom, but did not get up. Instead wrapping his arms around her and snuggling next to her side. “Thank you.”  He whispered.

“I’d say it was a mutually beneficial experience, but your welcome.”  She found she was smirking.  She ran her hand up his back and found some scratches. “Crap.  Did I do that?  I’m sorry.”

“It actually added to the experience.”  He admitted.  “I didn’t realize I was into that.

“Uhm, will you stay?”

She found herself yawning.  “For awhile.  I don’t think my legs are up to carrying me back to my own room anyway.”

She was pretty sure he was still awake when she dozed off herself.

Something tickled her nose.  She squirmed a little to get away.

“Lacey,”  A voice said softly.  “Lacey, you need to wake up.  It’s 8:15.”

That brought her awake.  Rum was sitting next to her on the bed.  Shaved and dressed.  

“8:15!   We’re supposed to meet Nintendo at 9:00!  I’ll barely have time for a shower and check out is at 11:00!”   She jumped out of bed.

“I’ve got all the equipment packed up.  You just need to get ready for the meeting.”  He told her as she headed toward the door connected to her room.  “And I’ve order breakfast.  I hope a fry up is all right?”

“Sounds great.” She was famished.  Apparently taking Rum to bed brought on an appetite.

He had not only packed up the equipment but had started putting her things into her suitcase.  She grabbed clean undies and jumped into the shower.

There was not enough time to dry her hair properly, so she pulled it into a messy up do that suggested ‘I’ve been up to naughty things in Vegas’ without actually looking cheap.

She only had one clean outfit left so dressing required no decisions.  She was just finishing her makeup when Rum knocked on her door and announced. “Breakfast is here.

“I ordered you a large juice.  And uhm there’s aspirin if you need it.”  He gestured toward the table.

“After a couple of glasses of wine?  Rum, we didn’t even finish off that bottle. I’m fine.”  She did down the juice.  She was thirsty as well as hungry. Last night had been quite a work out is seems.  “How about you?”

“Leg’s stiff but it will walk out.”  He smiled shyly at her.  “Otherwise I feel better than I have in a while.”

“Do you good to...”  Something about the way he was looking at her caused her to do what she rarely did and censor her comment.  Instead of ‘get laid’ she said,  “...Let down your hair occasionally.”

The Egghead rep texted about meeting with them while they were signing papers with Nintendo. Which made them late and they had to rush to make their flight.  So it was not until the flight took off that they had any time to themselves.  Rum was rubbing his fingers together like he did when he spun.  

Great.  She was probably in for a ‘talk’.  She really did not want to hear him ‘let her down gently’.  He would probably use Neal as an excuse.

At least he bought her a beer before he started.  “Uhm, so about last night?  Was that a one off, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas or uhm, are we… dating now?”

That did not sound like he was bailing on her.  “Would you want to?  Date I mean.”

He ducked his head, but was glancing at her from behind his hair.  “Yeah.  Uhm, but if you don’t I’ll understand.  And not let it effect our work. You’re too… important to the business now to let… personal issues… confuse things.”

So at least she did not have to worry about her job if she turned him down.  

Thing was she had come to like Rum.  He was a friend.  And last night had not been half bad.  Any man who offered oral without prompting was probably trainable.  

“I wouldn’t mind trying things out.”  She decided.  “I’m not promising forever or anything, but we can see where things go.  If you want.”

“I’d like that.” He took her hand.  And held it even after he dozed off with his drink only half finished.

It was incredibly cheesy, but Lacey let him keep holding on.  Even going so far as to move his drink so he would not spill it accidentally while he slept. He probably needed the sleep.  He was not used to the late nights they had kept at the conference.

And looking after programmers was what a good project manager did.  It had nothing to do with the fact that he looked kind of cute sort of half curled around their joined hands.  

Cause she was not sentimental school girl.  Nope.  Not her.

The end.