#and no they don’t decide to join hands so this is very much early 2000s love triangles level of drama

[watcher0033]

ASTV AU idea

Wherein Miles Morales did NOT snark at his adversaries while chomping on an empanada to cope, and listened reluctantly to Spots instead. Them both unlocking an unexpected intergenerational friendship. Spots and Miles being high-key chaotic science bros, grudging mentor-mentee relationship, a highschooler as a leash to thy sanity, most reluctant reintegration of a supervillain to society. Ever. Maybe slightly codependent.

[angstyaches]

charlie and shayne dressing up as those vampires from the terrible early 2000s movies and teasing the fuck out of eli and fee lmaooo🍄

Shayne and Charlie’s Halloween 2022, event 2/2

Okay, Charlie would be way too terrified and I'm not sure if it counts as teasing the fuck, but I'm quite happy with how this came out, even if it is a bit dialogue-heavy.

CW: vampires, banter, alcohol mention.

___

“I don’t get why you’re mad,” Shayne was grumbling as they came downstairs, loosely holding hands. “You thaid ‘vampire’.” 

“This is not what I meant, and you know it,” Charlie hissed, glancing down into the empty hallway. So far, the coast was clear, but it didn’t do much to calm his frazzled nerves. “I cannot believe you sometimes.” 

“’Cannot’?” Shayne repeated. “Fuck, I’ve really pithed you off, haven’t I?”  

“Sshh,” Charlie whispered. 

Shayne’s eyes softened, his lips turned down in a sulk. With the extra bulk of the fake fangs, he looked comically adorable. Charlie would have kissed him, if he didn’t know how horrible those plastic things tasted. He’d decided against wearing his own fangs after having them in his mouth for about two minutes.

He’d suggested Shayne do the same, but Shayne had been adamant that they completed his look. A look he never should have been trusted to assemble by himself in the first place.

A small shiver ran down Charlie’s back as they reached the downstairs hallway of the Aldridge townhouse. It was close to the city, and only a fifteen minute walk to the bar Rin had asked them to meet her at, so getting ready here had made sense at first.

Now, Charlie felt like he was about to faint.

Okay. The front door was within reach. They’d almost made it – 

“Oh, hey!” Felix exclaimed from the sitting room as they passed the door. 

Charlie cursed quietly to himself. He’d very much hoped to slip out of the house undetected, by Elliott and Felix in particular. He briefly considered making a run for it and pretending he hadn’t heard Felix call out, but Ingrid Waters had raised a boy who was hardwired to stop and say hi. 

He pulled Shayne by the shoulders, out of view of the sitting room, and tugged his cape further forward, so that it covered most of his clothes. It’d have to do. He gave him a pleading look, a silent Please behave, but the vodka had already watered-down Shayne’s limited ability to take a hint. 

He forced a smile and returned to the doorway. “Hi, guys.” 

___ 

"Oh, gosh. You both look so cool.” Felix gazed at Charlie and Shayne with the smallest twinge of jealousy. His and Elliott’s social calendar was quite a depressing sight to behold these days. He was sure he must have looked like a sleepy little kid waiting for a bedtime story, but he didn't care. “So, where are you going tonight, again?” 

“Rin invited us to go out with a few of her friends in the city.” Charlie shuffled his feet back and forth. He seemed even shiftier than he usually did in the townhouse. He and Shayne were just barely holding hands, with their pinky and ring fingers joined, but it looked like Charlie was trying to keep Shayne shoved out of view. 

“Wait, what are you... dressed as?” Elliott’s voice was a little weak as it came out. He leaned forward on the sofa. 

Felix frowned and looked up at his partner with a twinge of concern. It was quite clear that Shayne and Charlie were both dressed as –  

“We’re just vampires.” Charlie blurted it out with all the energy of a guilty person on trial who’d lost their nerve at the last second.  

He was wearing some dark blue – not quite black – bootcut jeans and a white t-shirt that he’d seemed to have shredded along the bottom with some scissors, so that it was slightly cropped. He’d gelled up the front of his hair and wrapped a strip of fabric around the crown of his head. His jacket looked suspiciously like it might have been bought by a younger Charlie who’d been going through a My Chemical Romance phase.  

“Lost Boys, Charlie...?” Felix ventured to ask. 

“Yeah! Exactly.” Charlie glanced at Shayne. He reached over with one hand to adjust the cape that sat over Shayne’s shoulders, pulling it a little further forward. Shayne grunted and pulled back, momentarily revealing a mouthful of bright-white plastic.

"Fake fangs?" Elliott scoffed, and Felix resisted the urge to nudge him with his elbow. There was no need to ruin their fun.

"Uh, yeah," Charlie smiled guiltily. “I – I was wearing them, too. We went to that tacky little Halloween shop in town. Don’t you think it’s so... so weird that it only appears there for a few weeks every year?” 

“Yes!” Felix exclaimed and sat forward on the sofa, clasping his hands together. Finally. Most people just got a glazed look in their eyes whenever Felix brought up any of his pet peeves, and this was definitely one of them. “It is extremely weird, Charlie. I feel as though I never notice an empty lot in its place, either. Do you think it’s run by witches?” 

“I don’t know, but...” Charlie glanced, again, at Shayne, who was stretching his jaw and fidgeting with the plastic teeth. “Anyway, the fangs are super uncomfortable.” 

“Oh,” Felix smiled. “Well, that sucks.” 

Charlie let out a nervous laugh, as though he felt he were obliged to. 

Shayne winked lazily with one eye and pointed at Felix in silent approval of the pun. It was quite clear from that point that he and Charlie had already started drinking.  

He was in his usual black jeans, but he’d tucked the ends of them inside a pair of long, white socks that had a thin rainbow pattern near the top (probably borrowed from Charlie). There was a long black costume cape tied around his shoulders, and he had it pulled almost completely around himself at the front, but the edge of a lacy, frilly collar was sticking out. He must have gotten himself a new shirt, because... 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear purple before,” Elliott said, stealing the words right out of Felix’s mouth. 

“So?” Through the set of janky plastic fangs, it sounded like Shayne had said, “Thlo?” 

Felix swallowed as he sensed the tension that was starting to build in the air. He hoped this wasn't about to turn into a territorial fight over a colour.

Over the frilly purple shirt, he was wearing what looked like a velour waistcoat. For some reason, it made Felix tilt his head. Maybe he had seen it somewhere before? 

Charlie jabbed Shayne in the side, without looking at him. 

Shayne adjusted and pulled his cape further around himself, this time with a scowl and a little bit of a flourish. The cape billowed outwards in the process, so that Felix got another look at what he was wearing underneath. 

A choked sound came from Charlie’s mouth, before the blonde promptly folded his arms and lowered his head. The heel of his hand cradled his forehead. 

“Uh, Shayne...?” Elliott sat forward again; any further and he’d have slipped right off the sofa.

“Yeah, man?” Shayne’s tone was innocent, but his dark eyes held a dark, knowing glint. 

“He - he wanted to do a What We Do in the Shadows, or, um, Interview with the Vampire kind of thing,” Charlie said. He was looking at Shayne as though he wanted to strangle him. 

“I don’t think the vampires in either of those movies wore a cape,” Felix blurted out shamelessly. It wasn’t very often that he got to whip out his knowledge of vampire movies; this was the time of year when he felt he was allowed to be pedantic. 

“I’m juth... you know.” Shayne shrugged, still struggling not to slur his words around the fake fangs. “An old-timey vampire. Old-school. Old-thtyle.” 

___ 

Charlie was dressed up as a member of the undead, but he felt like he was actually dying each time Shayne emphasised the word ‘old’.

Maybe Charlie was biased because of his frosty, complicated relationship with Jonathan, but he didn’t understand why Shayne was doing this. He knew Shayne and his cousin had an ongoing banter, but stealing a sixty-year-old vampire’s clothing for a Halloween costume seemed like taking things too far. 

Especially considering the fact that said vampire was Elliott Aldridge, the temper-wielding, super strong, bat-transforming, terrifying –  

“Hmm,” was all Elliott said to Shayne’s terrible explanation. 

“Anyway.” Sensing the lull and taking it as an opportunity, Charlie pinched a bit of the fabric of Shayne’s cape and tugged. “Time to go, right?” 

But Shayne was frozen in place and staring right at Elliott. 

Charlie’s gut tightened. 

Felix’s mouth opened into a silent gasp as he came to the same realisation that had already dawned on his partner. That the frilly shirt and the waistcoat Shayne was so clearly wearing under his cape looked awfully familiar because they – 

Felix sucked in a breath. “Oh...” 

“Come on,” Charlie whispered. He lightly placed his hands on Shayne’s shoulders and directed him towards the front door. Shayne still had himself covered up completely with the cape, like someone who’d just been pulled from a lake and wrapped in a blanket in a movie.  

He could sense that the vamps were following them to the door. 

___ 

“Shayne?’ Elliott’s fists were clenched by his sides. “Are you supposed to be me?” 

Felix grimaced and squeezed his hands together as they all waited for the answer. 

It was Charlie’s sigh that came first – a deep, husky one that seemed to say, Damn it, we almost made it. He’d stopped right by the front door, hand on the doorknob and everything. 

“Look, I didn’t know!” Charlie exclaimed as he turned around. He spread his arms wide. “I didn’t know what he was planning until it was too late to make him change.” 

Shayne turned around next, and swept his arms down under his cape. When he lifted them again and threw the cape outwards in all directions, Felix recognised the clothing instantly; it wasn’t a shirt and waistcoat that Elliott wore very often, but Felix could recall at least two events he’d worn them to. They were entirely too big for Shayne’s frame, and he hadn’t even bothered to button up the waistcoat. 

Shayne bared his plastic fangs and let out a hiss.  

“Ah,” he said in a deep voice. “Pour me a whithky, kid. Then I’m going to turn into a bunch of tiny fucking bats and go kill thomething.” 

Felix clamped a hand over his mouth.

Looking pale in the face, Charlie opened the front door and left without looking back again. Shayne took a few backwards steps and then followed him, looking very satisfied with himself, not bothering to pull his cape around his outfit anymore. 

For a few seconds, Elliott didn’t move, or even breathe. Felix looked up at him, and was about to try to say something, when he unfroze. 

“Hey, you little fuck, I don’t sound like that!” Elliott followed Shayne to the doorstep, grabbing hold of the door before it could close. “And I only wore a cape for a brief amount of time in the nineties!” 

“Oh, Elli,” Felix whispered, joining his partner and putting a hand up on his shoulder. As smart as he was in certain situations, his poor darling Elliott had a bad habit of choosing the wrong hill to die on. 

Elliott’s breath hitched as he glared down the driveway. “And I told you that in confidence, Shayne!” 

Shayne waved a hand over his head as he walked. “’Night, old man.” 

Elliott growled quietly. He was still gripping the wood of the door in his hand. Felix reckoned it was time to pry him free and bring him back inside. He looked crestfallen, and Felix couldn’t exactly blame him.  

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, and Felix could see the logic and sentiment behind that, but being told your fashion sense fell in line with the stereotypical vampire tropes from decades gone by must have felt a little rough. 

Felix was still squeezing his hands together as he followed his partner back through to the kitchen. 

Elliott went straight to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a whisky. 

Jeez, he doesn’t help himself. Felix waited for him to take his first swig before approaching, laying a hand gently on his arm. “Hey. It’s alright.” 

“He stole my clothes, Fee,” Elliott growled. He placed his glass on the countertop and glared at it, as though it were the embodiment of his humiliation. “I can’t even exact vengeance because nothing he owns would ever fit me.” 

Felix pressed his lips together. Apparently, the implication that his clothes were outdated or caricatural wasn’t the problem.  

“Oh,” Felix said. “Yeah... I know, darling, I know. It’ll be alright.” 

___ 

“Are you happy with yourself?” Charlie demanded as they made their way down the driveway. 

Shayne shrugged. “Exthremely.” 

“Oh, my god.” Charlie’s voice trembled with impatience. “The fangs, take them out, take them out!” 

[thatsgay-writes]

Catra x twin!sister reader where reader travels in alot of planets to find her sister and when she landed on etheria she explored the whispering woods and found melog, with their help she found glimmer and she led her to her castle and she finally met her sister. Catra wasn't pleased about it thinking that her family abounded her she just pushes reader away and goes to her room. Reader stays and went to deal with catra. They talked (mostly arguing) and in the end catra and reader hugs and they became very dear friends.

(I'm basically making you a nicer version of Catra with super girl powers (which you don't use in the story) and Lena Luthor as your wife because why not. I am also putting everyone in their early to late 20s... I also forgot to add Melog :( sorry.)

"Space log, day... 2000?" You mumble as you speak into the recorder on your ship. "It's been... 4 years since my son was born. 8 years since my people finally fully integrated with the civilization of our sister planet. 10 years since I renounced my royal title. 12 years since I met the love of my life. 16 years since my home world was destroyed by the Horde and my parents were killed. And... 24 years since I have last seen my baby sister." You breath out, having lost hope after so many years of things going wrong. "Lena and Madden have stayed on the planet Oa while I explore this last planet. It appeared almost 2 years ago and was the last place the Horde had ever been. Who or whatever is on the planet must be powerful." "This... This will be the final planet I explore. I have no hope of seeing my sister again." God you were so tired of the disappointment you felt every time you couldn't find your sister. "Happy 26th birthday." You mumble out as you get closer to the new planet. "End log."

---

"This is spaceship Kr 97. Requesting permission to land. I repeat requesting permission to land." You spoke into your radio, hoping to hear anything back. Maybe this planet didn't have the technology yet for radios? "If anyone can hear me. My name is Y/n and I come in peace. I will be landing my ship on your planet and will wait 2 days before exploring on my own." You say into your radio before putting it back where it had been hanging and controlling your ship into the planets atmosphere. It was a little bit of a bumpy landing but you landed your ship just fine on the outskirts of what seemed to be a forest. You set a 48 hour alarm on your phone. You weren't sure how the people or creatures of the planet told time, so you just stuck with what you knew. It had kept you alive so far anyways.

"Alrighty." You say to yourself as you step off of your ship. You take a deep breath as you feel the yellow sun power you up. "48 hours, let's get to work."

---

You spent the next two days cleaning up in and around your spaceship, setting up a camp, and watching how the forest worked so you knew what you could eat and what you couldn't. You had been sitting on the ground relaxing when you hear your timer go off. You click the loud noise off and stand up, grabbing the bag you had prepared. While learning the forest, you had seen some villages that seemingly lead towards somewhere and you had decided that the best course of action was to hop from village to village to see if their was a kingdom or something of that nature that you could get into contact with. You just hoped everyone was nice and that this wouldn't be a hard planet to navigate.

---

The first town you enter seems to be a farming village. You can tell because you had to walk through fields and saw, what you assume, were the livestock on the planet. You stood behind some trees for a while as you assessed how the villagers acted. You watched as kids ran around playing with their friends, shopkeepers and homeowners leaving their windows open in the nice weather, clearly not scared of being robbed. You decide that it's safe enough to enter and you have your powers to back you up incase things go wrong. It was weird because the planet had 3 moons and only 1 sun, usually planets had the suns out number moons but it was enough. You fix your cloak over your ears and tuck them back so they wouldn't be noticeable or a defining characteristic if things went sideways.

You walk slowly through the village, having expected to get some attention from your large black robe. And you do get some curious looks but it's mainly all friendly smiles. You are almost halfway through the village, aiming to enter one of the shops and ask around, when a something hits your leg. You look down and see a ball a few inches in front of your foot. You pick it up, making sure to retract your claws, and hold it out to the toddler who was staring at you and his ball. "Here you go." You say to him as you hold the ball out and shake it a little so his attention goes to it. He waddles up to you and takes the ball from you. He stares at it for a few seconds before making motions with his hands, wanting you to hold him.

Without hesitating, you pick him up and hold him close to your chest. "Where is your mother, kitten?" You ask him as he reaches up to play with your ear that were still under your hood. "Kitty!" He squeals as he knocks the hood off your head and you hear an audible gasp from behind you. "Oh my gosh, Catra I am so sorry! We didn't think you were visiting till next week. We would have prepared a feast for you and the rest of the princesses." You turn around and see an elderly looking man, who's eyes widen at the sight of you. "Have you gotten taller and cut your hair again?" He asks confused. You give him a small smile, "I'm sorry but I'm not this Catra you speak of. Are you saying there is someone similar looking to me on your planet?" You ask and the man gives you a weird look when you call it his planet but slowly nods his head. You feel hope for the first time in years and eagerly ask the man if you could stay near the town till she came next week. He gave you a bit of a weird look, not sure who you were now and unsure of your intentions, even though your reaction was positive. "Sure."

---

After returning the toddler to his mother, you basically sprinted back to your ship in excitement. "Lena! Lena!" You shout happily into the radio on your ship. Time is a little different on the planet as the sun was just starting to set but it would already be completely dark on Oa. But by your clock it was only 9, so Lena and Madden should still be awake. "Y/n?" You hear your name crackle through the radio and a smile appears on your face. "Lena you'll never believe it! There is someone on this planet that supposedly looks just like me and vice versa!" You say into the radio, feeling like a kid on Nova day. "I think it's her... I hope its her." You say as you image seeing your sister again for the first time in 24 years. "I'm so happy for you y/n! We will start making preparations to join you soon." You bite your lip in thought. "Maybe you should wait... I just wouldn't want to overwhelm her, you know?" You can almost hear Lena nodding on the other end of the phone. "That makes sense, we'll plan to leave by the end of the week if everything goes well."

"Geez I love you so much." You mumble with a wide grin. "And Madden too. Is he still up?" "No he fell asleep a few minutes before you radioed, he spent all day playing." "Oh well, tell him I love him and I'll radio back in the morning." "Okay, bye." "Bye."

---

"We need to be very careful about this." Glimmer says as she and the best friend squad enter the village who sent a letter the day before about someone who looked like Catra in their village. "We already knew that there were other people out there but as we already know not all of them are friendly." Catra walks next to Adora, numbly nodding along. Could this be it? Could she finally learn where she came from? Everyone else in the Horde had been born into it and Adora had come through a portal but no one really knew where Catra was from. "Are you okay?" Adora asked as she squeezed Catra's hand, nervous at how silent her girlfriend was. Catra just mutely nods back.

---

"This planet is simply marvelous!" The group hears you laugh out after being greeted by the village leader. "They look almost just like you Catra." Bow comments as they watch your tall figure move around as you play with the kids of the village and let them climb all over you. "Y/n!" You hear someone call your name and turn to see the village leader standing with a group of people and... Catra. They watch as you freeze and let your mouth fall open in shock. You set the kids down and encourage them to go play together. You walk towards the group with a smile. You go down the line of friends shaking their hands and introducing yourself, ignoring their looks of surprise, before finally reaching Catra. "Wow..." You breathe out in absolute awe. You can feel your eyes get misty the longer you stare at her. "You look so much like mom." You say with a watery laugh that completely sets Catra off.

"Who are you?" She asks as she pushes her finger into your chest making you take a step back. "What? Catra, I'm your sibling. I thought the similarities would make that clear." She glares at you and you can feel the whole village watching the interaction. "Just because we look similar doesn't mean anything." You move quickly and grab her right hand and hold it up next to your left one, both birthmarks showing.

You watch as Catra freezes. Her face and body come to a complete stop as her eyes flicker between the identical birthmarks and your face. "I know you must have questions and I do too. But I have spent the last 8 years going all across the galaxy looking for you and right now all I want is a hug... Please?" You get out as you let go of Catra's hand only for her to push you away one last time and storm into a temporary tent that had been set up for the best friend squad.

You take a second to take a breath before following after her. "I wouldn't follow after her, she needs time to cool down." A blonde, Adora, said to you as she placed a hand on your should to stop you. "I've dealt with people with anger issues before." You say as you brush her hand off. "I know how to handle this." You say and walk towards the tent again, not giving anyone a chance to stop you.

---

"You can't hide away in here sister." You say as you enter the tent, dodging a pillow that was thrown at your head. "Don't call me that." She mumbled angrily. "And why not, you are my sister are you not? I mean everyone saw the birth mark." Catra stands up angrily. "If you were my sister, you would have spent longer than 8 years looking for me! And how can you even compare me to this "mom" that I know absolutely nothing about!? Where are they anyways, huh? Where's great old mom and dad that I have spent the last 25 years not knowing about!" She unloads onto you and your feel your heartbreak at how disheveled she looked. You shouldn't have assumed everything would be smiles and laughs when the two of you first met.

"26." "Huh?" "You're... We're 26. Our birthday was 2 days ago." "So I don't even know my own birthday!" Catra explodes. "Get out." She says suddenly and quietly. "What?" "I said get out." She repeats and you shake your head at her. "I'm not leaving." You watch as Catra's hair stand up. "I am giving you one last warning, get out now or I will do something I might not regret." You cross your arms and stare her down. "I have spent the last 8 years planet hopping with my family looking for you. I. Am. Not. Leaving."

Catra jumps at you suddenly, attempting to scratch, hit, kick, do anything to make you leave the tent. Instead of doing what she wanted, you just wrapped her in a tight hug and sat on the ground. You stay like that for a while, her trying to hold back sobs and angry tears before finally letting go and you just rubbing circles on her back to try and calm her down. "Why?" Is all she says after almost an hour of being in that position. "Why what?" "Why now?" You let out a sad sigh at her question. "Mom and Dad are dead, killed by the Horde Prime and his followers when I was 10." You can feel Catra flinch at how blunt you were and the fact that she had worked for the Horde only a few years ago. "You had already been missing for 8 years at that point, multiple search teams being sent out but none could find you." You squeeze Catra tighter as you feel yourself relive all the grief that you carried for the past 16 years.

"I managed to get most of our people off the planet and to our sister planet before the Horde completely destroyed everything. Got everyone situated on that planet, met the love of my life, renounced my claim to any throne, and finally I started looking for you." It's silent for a few minutes as Catra absorbed everything you said. "So..." You asked as you wiped your tears off your face. "What about you?"

You and Catra spent the rest of the night and next day sharing stories about your childhood and how differently but similar the two of you had grown up. You even got to tease her about Adora and the fact that you were, technically, her older sister by 2 minutes. You were also very excited when you got to show Catra around the ship you had taken to get to Etheria.

---

"So I am guessing everything went well?" Lena asked over the radio after you finally called her about coming to Etheria. "It was a little rocky at the beginning but we smoothed things over... She's great Lena, you guys are gonna love each other." You say with a giant smile on your face as you look at Catra who was relaxing in the copilot seat next to you.

[rachaelswrites]

Breakups are Hard

Sebastian Stan x daughter!reader

Word Count: 1,595

Requested by: Anonymous 

A daughter reader fic (u choose) where they help reader through her first breakup?

A/N: I loved this idea! please send keep sending in more requests.

Warnings: language, men are trash 

You thought today would be a good day. You and your friends were going on a group date during school at lunch. You were really excited because you and your boyfriend were approaching your six month anniversary (which is kind of a big deal for teenagers). You were expecting something nice from him, but what you got was a lot worse. 

You had met up with some of your friends in front of the school, waiting for everyone else. You spotted them and waved them over. You ran and hugged your boyfriend. He was your first boyfriend but you were genuinely in love with him. You found it hard to meet people who really wanted you, not because of who your dad was. Since starting high school, you made a bunch of friends freshman year and then a boyfriend sophomore year. You hadn’t told your dad, worried that he would give you the “Be careful honey. He might only want you for x,y,z” talk. You knew it was a possibility, but your boyfriend assured you he truly wanted you. 

“ Hey y/bf/n! How has your day been so far?” you asked him, kissing his cheek. 

He wrapped his arm around your waist, “It's ok. Could be better I guess,” he shrugged. 

“I know what’ll cheer you up,” you pecked him on the lips. You saw him smile a bit and you grinned. You grabbed his hand and led him to the subway. You two sat next to each other but he wasn’t engaging in conversation. The ride there was silent and awkward. You tried making small talk but he wasn’t interested

  The group was heading to a café that a lot of kids in New York went to. It was always busy during lunch time, but you called ahead and reserved spots for all of you. It was only a short five minute ride from school. You all got off and headed inside. The group sat down and ordered. You all made small talk until your food and drinks arrived. 

You noticed your boyfriend being distant, so you pulled him away from the table to talk to him. 

“Hey are you feeling okay today? Do you wanna talk about something?” you asked him. 

 “Um yeah. There is something I want to talk to you about,” he mumbled. You urged him to continue, “Look. Y/n. I really care about you but, I don’t think we’re working out. I think we’re just too different. I’m sorry,” 

You looked at him in shock. “What do you mean? I thought we were fine? We were having fun. At least I thought so,” tears started to fill your eyes and spill down your cheeks. All your now-ex did was shrug and go back to the table. You were still standing there, while he acted like nothing happened. 

You wiped your tears and joined your friends. Everyone knew what happened. You ate in silence and waited until you all had to leave. You would have left early, but you didn’t want everyone to worry about you. 

Eventually you were back on the subway. You sat across from your ex and saw him flirting with a new girl already. You rolled your eyes. Sadness now turning into anger. 

The rest of the school day was horrible. By now, news spread of your breakup. People would look at you in the hallway and whisper. You were sick of it. By the time the final bell rang, you wouldn’t have been surprised if there was smoke coming out of your ears.

You slammed the door of the apartment shut, making your dad jump. When he asked how your dad was, you only huffed in response and stomped upstairs. Sebastian has never seen you this angry before. You slammed the door to your room as well. He knew he needed to address whatever happened with you. “Y/n? Can you please come back down here for a sec?” 

You were flopped on the bed when your dad called. You groaned and decided to listen. Sebastian was never strict with you, but he could definitely put his foot down when needed. “What!” you yelled from the top of the stairs. 

“Down here sweetheart,”

You stomped down the steps and stood in front of him, arms crossed over your chest, “What?” you asked, a little nicer this time. 

“What’s going on? Why are you so angry today?” he was concerned. Normally, you would have already told him, You were very open with him about this stuff. 

“Nothing. It’s fine. I’m fine. Can you just leave me alone please?” you pleaded. You knew if he kept pressing you, you would spill. 

“There’s something going on. I want to know and I want to help you please,” he looked into your eyes, searching for any signs. 

“You can’t do anything anyway. So don’t even bother,”

“I can’t help because you aren’t telling me,”

“Stop! Leave it the fuck alone already!” you screamed.

Sebastian sat there stunned. You never raised your voice at him and you never cursed in front of him like that. Before you could turn and go back upstairs, Sebastian stood up and grabbed your arm. You tried to pull out of his reach but he pulled you into his arms and held you tight. You didn’t even bother trying to fight. You had broken down into tears now. Sobbing into your dad’s chest. “Shh. Shh. It’s ok. Let it out. I’ll stay here as long as you need me to ok? I’m here for you baby. Let me know when you want to talk,” he whispered. He kissed the top of your head while you continued crying. 

“He broke up with me,” you hiccupped. Sebastian looked down at you, confused, “I don’t even know why. We were doing so well,”

“Who broke up with you?”

“Y/bf/n. You met him a few times. We were together for six months. Well… almost six months,” you stepped out of your dad’s grip and wiped your tears, “and he did it in front of our friends. It was horrible,” 

“I’m sorry baby. That’s awful. Breakups are hard but, I know you’re strong enough to get through it,”

“You think so? I’m just a mess,” you sniffed. 

Sebastian laughed and placed a hand on your shoulder, “Sweetheart. Look at me! I’m a mess. It’s just genetics,” he teased, “Tell you what. Go take a shower and change into some comfy clothes,” 

You nodded and he kissed your temple. You ran back upstairs and did what he told you to. You took a nice, long, hot shower and changed into sweatpants and one of your dad’s old sweatshirts from high school that you stole from him. You met your dad downstairs, keys in his hand. “Come on, let’s go,” he said, extending his hand out to you. You grabbed it and walked downstairs to the car with your dad. You didn’t notice he had a backpack with him until he tossed it into the back seat. He started driving out of the city. He pulled into a gas station and parked the car. “Stay here. I’ll be right back,” he said. He put on some sunglasses and got out of the car. You saw him walk into the store and disappear in the aisles. 

About ten minutes later, you saw him at the register. You tried to see what he was getting, but a magazine stand was blocking your view, He came out and put his sunglasses on his head. He opened the door and tossed the bag next to his backpack. 

“Whatcha get Dad?” you asked him. 

“You’ll see in a bit,” he responded. He turned on the radio and you looked out the window watching the rest of the buildings and cities disappear. 

An hour had gone by and you were getting concerned. It was a school night and your dad always told you how important it was. “Hey where are we going? We’ve been driving for awhile and I have school tomor-”

“Hey. Don’t worry about it. You need to relax Y/n. Besides we’re almost there,” he said. He took an exit off the highway and drove a little farther. He ended up driving to an empty field. He parked the car and got out. You stayed and watched him open the trunk. He moved around and grabbed the bags and pulled the back seats down. He opened the backpack and pulled out a white canvas and a blanket. He set up the canvas so it was hanging from the top of the backdoor. He pulled out a small movie projector that you had no idea was in your house. He climbed onto the folded down seats and patted the spot next to him. You got out of the front and sat down next to him. 

He handed you the blanket and pulled out food and drinks from the gas station. He also pulled out one of your favorite movies. “I know how much you love Chris and how you love early 2000s movies, so I got you Not Another Teen Movie. I figured it would cheer you up,” 

“Thank you dad!” 

He put the movie in the projector and you snuggled up to him. The movie finished just in time for you to watch the sunset and see the first stars appear. You helped Sebastian pack everything back up and head back home. You fell asleep on the way back. 

Breakups are hard, but you found a way to make them better. 

Taglist

@ssebstann @peachyprincessss @emmy-writes-sometimes @teenage-incompetence

[baepsaesbae]

Sugar, Snow, and Everything Glows

Pairing— Park Jimin x female reader ft. OT7 

Genre— Fluff, College au, Friends to Lovers, Holiday au

Warnings— None

Word Count— 3.6k

Summary— You’ve gone the entire semester being friends with Park Jimin. Now that the holiday season is in full swing, will things take a turn?

A/N—  This gift was created through @bwcsecretsanta​ event and is for @pjmsdior​. Surprise! I’m your Secret Santa, Winter Bear ❄️🐻  It has been so fun getting to know you and sending fun little asks. Please stay in touch and know that you can always come chat with me! I hope you enjoy my present, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays~

“We only have two days before everyone goes home. Well, I guess it’s more like one and a half now. We gotta make this count!” Jungkook enthusiastically stated to everyone crammed into his tiny dorm room.

“We just finished our last final, can’t we chill out for tonight? We can watch a holiday movie or something,” Taehyung complained.

“That’s exactly why we should celebrate! I heard they’re having a floor wide gingerbread house competition tonight,” Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows.

“Yes, we all know that, Kookie. We literally all live on the same floor and have the same RA,” you reminded him, “Honestly, I’m down to make a gingerbread house. I haven’t done that in forever.”

“Then it’s decided, we’re building edible houses tonight. We still have a few hours to kill so we can watch a movie if you guys want,” Jimin suggested.

With everyone in agreement, all four of you crammed onto Jungkook’s tiny twin bed to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000). Your first semester of college has been a success. You aced all your classes and lucked out on being in a great friend group. You met all three boys at your first dorm mixer. Thankfully, you all came to a mutual agreement that dorm parties were way too crowded and not even that fun if you weren’t completely drunk. So, you all decided to leave together and played ping pong in the lobby. All four of you had been good friends since.

Jimin and Taehyung were roommates and were practically inseparable. For once, it seemed like the random roommate system created a perfect match. Jungkook was the luckiest of all, since his roommate dropped out early on and he never got a replacement one so he had a room all to himself. The other boys joked that he could have hookups any time he wanted but despite his good looks, Jungkook wawa rather shy when it came to girls. He was awkward when you first met, but he easily warmed up to you and now treats you like one of the boys (Jimin often has to remind him of this when he tells him to keep his poop jokes to a minimum). 

You used to get dirty looks from other freshman girls when they saw you surrounded by all the cute boys, but you learned to ignore them. You tried going on dates with some guys, but freshman boys are still just high schoolers disguised as college students. Needless to say, you never found any guy that interested you. 

Of course, no one could blame you for having a tiny crush on Jimin. You liked everything about him. He was extremely thoughtful, very intelligent, and was in fact a very cute boy. However, you kept your romantic feelings a secret because you didn’t want to ruin the group dynamics. 

These thoughts were hard to suppress when you were literally pressed up against his chest. In order for everyone to fit comfortably, Jimin offered for you to lean against him as he put his arm around you. The other boys paid no attention to his move, which you were thankful for because they would have made fun of you for blushing. You couldn’t pay attention to the movie. You were engulfed by Jimin’s scent (he wore a light yet alluring cologne), and your heart was beating so loudly you were worried that he could hear it.  

“Should we wear Christmas sweaters?” Jungkook glanced at the clock as soon as the movie ended.

“I don’t have any,” you shook your head.

“I have an extra, you can borrow it if you’d like, “Jimin offered. 

“Perfect! Tae do you have one?” Jungkook didn’t give you time to reply.

“I have one with polar bears on it,” Taehyung answered.

“That’ll work! Let’s meet back here in 10,” Jungkook stated as he stripped off his shirt.

“Stop showing off,” Taehyung laughed as he slapped the younger boy’s abs, “C’mon ___, let’s go get changed.”

The other boys’ room was just a couple doors down from Jungkook’s. Taehyung went to change in the bathroom while Jimin picked out a sweater for you. You waited patiently while you looked around Jimin’s side of the room. Your gaze stopped at his polaroid collection that hung above his desk. Looking at them made you smile as you reminisce the fond memories from throughout the semester. You saw the boys laughing and smiling, a surprising number of Jungkook shirtless, and a few selfies that only got Jimin’s forehead as he tried to fit everyone in the picture. 

Then you saw one you’ve never seen before. It was a solo picture of you from Halloween. You wore one of your favorite black dresses with flowy sleeves paired with a pointy witch hat that brought the look together. Upon a closer look, you realized you weren’t even looking at the camera. Instead, you were looking away at an angle that made it seem like you were doing one of those classic model poses.

“I didn’t know you took this,” you called to Jimin, who was rummaging through his closet.

“Oh. Yeah, you just looked picturesque in that moment. I’m glad I got to capture it,” Jimin said in an uncharacteristically bashful way, “Here’s my Santa sweater,” he handed you the article of clothing.

“I actually look kinda cute here, so you did a good job,” you teased him as you put the sweater on over your shirt.

“You always look cute, so don’t worry about that,” Jimin smiled softly.

“You guys ready?” Taehyung barged in, ruining the moment. 

“Yep!” you quickly answered and walked out of the room. Jimin was always sweet, but was he purposely flirting with you there?

“Give me a second, I’m almost ready,” Jimin responded with a tinge of annoyance. 

Jungkook was already waiting outside the room, apparently too impatient to wait for everyone to show up in his room. He was sporting a green sweater that was obnoxiously decorated with real ornaments.

“Did you make that yourself?” Taehyung asked in awe.

“Made it last year with my family; they insisted I bring it with me,” Jungkook shrugged, “Let’s go win this thing!”

“Whaddup guys?” your RA, Jin, greeted the group as you entered the lobby. Four gingerbread kits were set up on a table in the middle of the lobby. Jin glanced at his watch and sighed.

“Hey Jin. Ready for the holidays?” you asked.

“Ready to get away from all you troublemakers,” Jin laughed, “Just kidding. You guys are the only ones who show up to my events, so you’re all automatically my favorites. I had to invite a few of my friends to help make it a real competition.”

“There’s already four people here though, that’s all you need,” Taehyung observed.

“That’s no fun. This is a team competition,” Jin explained, “Counting my friends, I think we can split up perfectly into teams of two.”

“I call ___,” Jimin immediately spoke up.

“Dude, I thought we were gonna be partners,” Taehyung looked butt hurt.

“Don’t worry Tae, we’ll kick their asses. Let’s combine our creative juices together,” Jungkook slung an arm around Taehyung.

“Fine. But keep your juices to yourself,” Taehyung sighed.

“What’s good, party people?” an unfamiliar voice shouted. 

“Ready to show these Freshman how to properly make a gingerbread house?” Jin called out to his friends, “These goons are Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok. I’ll pair up with Namjoon.”

“Sope in the HOUSE!” Yoongi and Hoseok hollered in unison.

“Oh, and I forgot to mention that the winner gets a $50 giftcard,” Jin winked, “Ready, set, go!”

You and Jimin quickly got to unwrapping all of the goods. You were in charge of putting the house together as Jimin thought about how to decorate. The icing that held the walls together looked a bit messy, but you could cover that up with even more frosting.

“Wanna start icing the details and I’ll add the candy?” Jimin suggested.

“Yes chef,” you nodded and got back to work.

Jimin delicately added gumdrops and mints to the roof and added licorice to line the windows. You moved on to take care of the front yard. You added candy canes to make an arches along the front walkway, which was lined with kisses. More and more candy was being added onto the house up until Jin’s timer rang.

“Time’s up! Step away from the houses! Let’s start from this side with Jungkook and Taehyung’s house,” Jin announced.

“It’s certainly...avant garde,” Jimin commented. Icing was piped around the house in intricate patterns and candy was strewn across the house with no rhyme or reason.

“We didn’t want to be confined to the cookie cutter gingerbread house norms,” Taehyung said proudly.

“I can’t tell the windows apart from the door,” Namjoon whispered.

“You’re not supposed to!” Jungkook snapped, “Our house is anything you want to imagine.”

“Alright, moving on-- what the hell? Did you guys even try?” Jin shot a disgusted glare at the SOPE team.

“In my defense, I haven’t had dinner yet,” Yoongi shrugged.

“And I thought it wasn’t fair that only Yoongi got to eat it so I joined him,” Hoseok hung his head. 

You stifled your laughter as you looked at their plate. Candies were piled up and the house laid unconstructed with many bites taken out of it. Jin shook his head and continued to present his house, which honestly was not much better than his friends’ lack of a house.

“This one was my bad,” Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck.

The gingerbread house looked like it was struggling to stand up. The walls were lopsided and the icing was messily laced around the entire thing.

“I wanted to go for a White Christmas look and have the roof be completely covered with the icing. But thanks to Namjoon’s sloppy work, it got too heavy and the house started to fall apart--” the house collapsed right as Jin said that.

“___ and I made a picture perfect gingerbread house,” Jimin boasted. It was true. Your house looked like it was done by a professional. The icing was well done and the candies were placed in all the right places. No one else made a front lawn like you guys.

“It looks like we have a clear winner,” Jin nodded.

“Good try guys, better luck next time,” Jungkook stepped up to claim the prize.

“___ and Jimin are the winners,” Jin handed you the giftcard while looking at Jungkook in disbelief. 

“Woohoo! Great job __!” Jimin cheered and hugged you tightly. You once again caught a whiff of his cologne and felt yourself melting in his arms. 

“Boo! Lames!” Jungkook yelled at you both.

“Wait, is it snowing?” Yoongi said as he looked out the window.

Sure enough, white flurries were swirling around as snow landed on the ground. It must have been snowing for a bit, as it was actually sticking to the ground and there was at least an inch of it. 

“Let’s go let’s go!” Jimin took your hand and dragged you to the elevator.

“You too, Jin. I wanna pelt my RA in the face,” Jungkook stuck his tongue out at Jin.

“Oh you’re on, kid. Let’s go boys,” Jin motioned to his friends.

Cold air whipped across your face as soon as you walked outside. You weren’t wearing nearly enough warm layers and the cold chilled you to the bone.You stuck your tongue out to catch snowflakes as you shivered. Jimin wrapped his arms around you, catching you off guard.

“Cold?” he whispered in your ear.

“Maybe a little,” you admitted as you felt your ears warm up. Right as you said that, a small white ball exploded on your chest. Jungkook had his signature bunny smile plastered on his face as he laughed hysterically. He was on a rampage, and you laughed as you watched him chase Jin around with a gigantic snowball.

“Oh, it’s on!” Jimin yelled at him as he started to form ammunition of his own. 

You went to stake your own tiny claim of land to make snowballs in. Taehyung was running around with an arm full, pelting anyone in sight. Endless bouts of laughter echoed outside of the dormitory as you and your friends engaged in an intense snowball fight. There was no clear winner, but no one could feel their extremities by the end of it.

“Alright alright truce! You kids go take a hot shower before you get sick. I don’t wanna get blamed for anyone having an unpleasant holiday season,” Jin finally shooed all of his kids out of the snow. 

“I can’t believe this. Why do my parents have to come pick me up a day early?” Jungkook complained as he sprawled out on his bed.

“Because they love you and are excited to see you, Kookie. Don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time to partake in more shenanigans next semester,” you patted his ankle in reassurance.

“If you’re leaving, then I’ll probably drive home today too. I miss Tannie,” Taehyung sighed.

“Why? ___ and Jimin are still here. You guys can have fun without me,” Jungkook pouted. Jimin and Taehyung exchanged a quick glance at each other before Taehyung talked about how much he missed his adorable little fluffy companion. 

“I’m telling you, you have to sneak Tannie over here next semester,” you joked. 

“He’ll get too excited and bark. Jin is chill, but probably not that chill,” Taehyung said somberly, “But don’t worry! We can take a field trip to my house next semester for sure. My mom makes the best food.”

“I can’t wait buddy,” Jimin smiled as Jungkook finally got out of bed to start packing. All three of you saw Jungkook off once his family came to pick him up. His mother was sweet and you could tell that he got his charisma from his father. Taehyung hugged both of you goodbye and you watched him drive off.

“Guess it’s just us left huh,” Jimin observed.

“What do you wanna do? It’s not even 11am yet,” you checked the time, “Oh! How do you wanna split up the gift card? It’s a visa so it can be used anywhere.”

“Why don’t we spend it together? That way it’s fair. What do you say to one final outing to commemorate the end of a great semester?” Jimin offered.

“Sounds good! Do you wanna stay on campus or?” you trailed off.

“I have an idea,” Jimin nodded, “But it’s a surprise! Meet in my room after we get dressed? Change into something a little warmer.”

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes.

You showed up in front of Jimin’s door wearing a cozy sweater a couple minutes later. You also sprayed on some of your favorite perfume, but he probably wouldn’t notice. Nor would he notice the extra effort you put into styling your hair. 

“Hey you ready to have some fun?” Jimin greeted you with a smile, “You look...nice.”

“Thanks, you too. Now will you tell me where we’re going?” you asked.

“I’ll tell you on the way. C’mon let’s go catch the train!” Jimin led you by the hand down the hallway yet again.

The way he said that you looked nice made you feel self conscious. He had the same tone that people have when someone really doesn’t look nice but they were too far into the sentence to correct themselves. Now sitting together on the train, you wondered if you were wearing too much perfume.

“How do you feel about ice skating?” Jimin asked.

“I love it. Haven’t done it in a while though,” you answered.

“Perfect! I realize I probably should’ve made sure you enjoy skating before surprising you with it,” Jimin laughed nervously.

“This still makes for a fine impromptu date,” you laughed with him before realizing what you said.

“Date?”

“Sure is weird not having those two around causing a scene!” you interrupted him.

“Um, yeah. They’re good dudes,” Jimin awkwardly agreed.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. You finally get some alone time with Jimin and you’re making it all weird. The other boys always made sure there was never a dull moment during your escapades. You wished they were here right now.

“This is our stop,” Jimin tapped on your knee.

The snow had stuck overnight, making everything that the sun touched glisten. Your spirits lifted as you walked around the decorated town, the festivity of everything seeped into you. Christmas lights were strung up everywhere, and there were big red bows on nearly everything. 

“You good? You seem kinda out of it,” Jimin nudged you. 

“Oh yeah, I’m fine! Don’t worry about it,” you shot him a fake smile.

“Hey, don’t lie to me. I’d like to think I know you better than that. What’s wrong?” Jimin prodded.

“It’s nothing really. It’s silly, believe me,” you replied quickly.

“___,” Jimin said in a serious tone.

“I didn’t mean to say ‘date’. It was just a stupid slip up and I guess I was worried about making this awkward when you’re really just trying to be a good friend and--”

“This is a date,” Jimin stated.

“It--what?” you were surprised.

“The boys and I have been planning this since last month. We figured it would be the only natural way for us to spend time together. Alone,” Jimin blushed as he looked at the ground.

“If you wanted to make it seem natural then you probably shouldn’t have disguised it as an accidental stroke of luck,” you crossed your arms, “And the way you said I looked nice earlier made me feel like I’ve had something on my face this whole time.”

“No no! You really do look nice! I was actually gonna say super cute but I chickened out. Aw, ___, you look lovely. I’m sorry I made you self conscious,” Jimin pulled you in for a hug, “I’ve liked you for a while, but I was scared that you didn’t feel the same way. If this makes you uncomfortable, we can just forget about this whole date thing and just skate as friends,” he whispered. 

“I was scared of ruining the group so I never wanted to tell you that I like you,” you responded once the hug ended.

“I guess we both goofed. So can we call this an official date?” Jimin asked with a hopeful smile.

“Yes, yes we can,” you laughed.

“Sweet. Since it’s a date, can I hold your hand?” Jimin held out his hand and you happily took it. He led you to the ice rink as you both laughed and made fun of each other for being so coy for the entire semester.

“So how long have you liked me?” you asked.

“Would it be cheesy to say since I first laid eyes on you?”

“Yes.”

“Then since I first laid eyes on you,” Jimin was pleased with his answer.

“And the other two knew?” 

“The entire time,” Jimin confirmed, “It was actually Taehyung who came up with this plan.”

“Why didn’t you just ask me out normally?” you tilted your head.

“Honestly, we never thought of that,” Jimin admitted.

“You boys are all so dumb,” you laughed.

“True, but it worked!” Jimin defended, “We’re here! You got the gift card on you?”

After paying for the ice skate rentals, it was now you leading Jimin into the ice rink. It had been a while since you last skated, and you were eager to glide across the ice again. You dragged Jimin behind you as you trudged forward.

“Do you not know how to skate?” you looked back at him.

“I do, but this is more fun,” Jimin smiled. You let go of his hand and took off. You laughed as he struggled to chase you. His version of skating was more like inching forward very very slowly with the grace of a newborn deer. You skated circles around him to tease him. The teasing continued until you both wore yourselves out (and your rental time was up). 

“That was fun,” you announced happily.

“Speak for yourself, I lost track of how many times I fell on my butt,” Jimin rubbed his backside with a sad frown.

“7 times. And you fell onto your knees 3 times,” you informed him, “Do you wanna grab something to eat to make you feel better?”

“Some hot chocolate would smack right now,” he nodded.  

 “Let’s go get you warmed up big boy. Wanna go to Starbucks or something?” 

“I have some hot chocolate back in the dorm. Can we heat that up and watch a movie?” Jimin asked sweetly. You nodded and made your way back to the train station. You leaned onto Jimin’s shoulder on the way back, enjoying your new freedom to be a little flirty with him.

Once back in Jimin’s dorm room, you made the hot chocolate while he changed into pants that didn’t have ice all over them. Both of you snuggled together on Jimin’s bed while Die Hard played on his laptop (believe it or not, that counts as a Christmas movie). 

“Would you say today’s date was a success?” Jimin asked before taking a sip of his drink.

“I’d say so. I think we get along well,” you nodded.

“Well that’s a relief. I can take you on more next semester if that’s okay with you,” he looked into your eyes.

“That’s perfectly fine with me,” you smiled before kissing his cheek. This semester definitely ended on a high note. Tis the season.

Published December 25, 2020. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2020 Baepsaesbae.

[viltrumitesuperboy]

Like Real People Do (Eleventh Doctor x Reader)

Gender neutral. Somewhat inspired by Like Real People Do by Hozier, aka immortal pagan god. The reader dies when they first meet the Doctor, and he seeks them out afterwards. Haha River Song who?

Word count: 2000 (I edited so it would be perfect, that’s right i’m a Writer™)

The Doctor stared at the psychic paper in his hands, the words "HELP, DOCTOR" and coordinates neatly displayed on it. Whoever left him this message had abilities, ones he didn't know about. He didn't like not knowing. So he navigated his TARDIS out of the time vortex to those coordinates and swung open the door to a blaring alarm with a few people panicking in front of him.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor! What seems to be the trouble?" he introduced himself cheerily.

"Doctor! Good, you're finally here. I would kiss you, but rules. Can't do that when we're in danger."

He turned to look at you, completely confused. You were dressed as if you were blending in with the ship's crew. You had clearly established yourself as the leader of the group because they looked at you like you would save them. It was the same way everyone desperately looked to him for answers in any of his life-threatening adventures.

"There is an attack on this ship, and every few minutes the other ship is firing at us. It's leaving holes and breaking the shields. There's not enough power to get them back up completely. I've only put them where they've broken the ship so that we don't lose oxygen. Like patching a hole in your pants but they just keep ripping somewhere else. Don't give me that confused look. Keep up."

"Sorry, ah... who are you?" he asked, following you as you led the group out of the area.

"Seriously? Time travellers. Forget that kissing thing. Anyway, no time to lose. We're going to try and communicate with the other ship because that's what you would do."

"Did you send the message on my paper?"

"Yes, of course. Like I said, keep up."

The other members of the group were questioning both the new person and the current leader of their group, and the Doctor went over a plan of what to say. You all moved forward into a narrow hallway, the Doctor following right behind you. Just then, a loud crack sounded as a shot landed right in front of you, and you cried out as the Doctor tried to grab your hand.

"No!" he shouted.

He wasn't close enough, and you were pulled out of the ship and into empty space against his will. He spotted a pad across the hallway and used his sonic screwdriver on it, bringing the shields back up where you had flown out. The hole was replaced by a dark film that covered the damaged area. It was a small blessing that he didn't have to see someone dying again.

"Who was that?" he demanded.

"We only just met-" began one of the group members.

"A name!"

"(Y/N) (L/N)," said a teenager standing in the back of the group.

"We can't mourn. Let's go."

As usual, the Doctor was able to fix the situation. He made a compromise with the other ship, led the ship with his TARDIS to the closest planet, and gave comfort to those who needed it most with his hundreds of years of wisdom. As he stepped back onto the TARDIS, he felt as though he had lost something. Well, he did. Another person's life. He searched for your name everywhere until he found you. A younger you. He didn't think you were human, but as you went about your every day life, you were blending in with the humans. You weren't wearing the clothing that blended you into the crew, and he liked your personal style. As usual, trouble came along and he was pulling you out of danger just in time.

"Hi, I'm the Doctor. Run!"

You followed him and didn't question him once. And when you followed him into the TARDIS after the threat was gone, you didn't ask about it. He knew you'd make one hell of a companion.

"Time Lord technology. Infinite space in an object," you mumbled, more to yourself.

"You... yes. And you're an empath with a telepathic field, according to the TARDIS's scans," the Doctor responded, and you nodded. "Lonely."

"One of the last of my kind. And so are you," you responded.

There was an understanding between the two of you that seemed to pass. You asked nothing about him, and he asked nothing of you. He didn't know much about your past, just the present you and what you were like. He decided you were one of the most beautiful mysteries in the universe. And for once, the Doctor didn't mind not knowing.

You traveled with him for a long time. He sometimes brought along his best friend Amy Pond and her boyfriend Rory. They became your friends as well. The Doctor would sometimes look at you with pain in his eyes, and Amy would notice. Whenever she asked what was wrong, he would instantly smile and brush it off. It was difficult for him to tell her that he was in love with a person who he already knew would die.

He taught you how to fly the TARDIS. Your smile that day seemed to brighten the room. It was either that or the ship felt the same way that he did about how wonderful your presence was. Your first idea was to bring him to a peaceful planet inhabited by only animals.

"I came here many years before I reached Earth. It's quiet and few know about it," you said.

You pulled him to a small hill to observe the field of flowers and small mammals running about in the grass. You sat down and plucked at the grass beside you.

"One of the few planets that hasn't been destroyed by another civilisation," the Doctor said.

"Oh, no, it does. In the future. Endings bring beginnings. I just liked coming here before that because I was around when other aliens started moving onto this planet. Good for us, you have a time machine, and we can come back here as many times as we want as long as our timelines aren't interfering."

He snorted and placed his hand on top of one of yours, moving it to his lap. He pressed his lips into your palm, and you gave him a small grin as he looked into your eyes. He didn't return it.

"I won't ask, but you always look so sad, Doctor. I wish I could help you."

"You look sad a lot of the time, too," the Doctor accused, "but I'm old. I'm allowed to be sad."

"I'm not as old as you, but I'm also not human. My lifespan could exceed yours and neither of us would know."

He smiled as you laughed, pressing his lips to your hand and keeping it there. Then he told you that he loved you for the first time. He giggled when you returned it, as he usually did when he was excited. There, on that field, he kissed you for the first time. And he realised what a curse it was to love someone dying.

You stayed with him even when he lost Amy and Rory. He let himself feel the pain of losing a companion for once and decided to retire. You joined him, of course. It seemed that he was experiencing many firsts with you around. You joined him as he found his Impossible Girl, who ended up becoming your Impossible Girl. This only became an issue when Clara stepped foot in the TARDIS after a few days of your own adventures, and you both shouted "Impossible Girl" at the same time. You coined her "our Impossible Girl" and the Doctor proceeded to be very mushy and soft with you, to which Clara pretended to gag and walked out of the blue box.

He never took you for granted, as you never did him. Every moment he could, he told you that you were the best thing to ever happen to him. Once in a while, when he was feeling particularly anxious after an adventure, he would face you and put his hands on your cheeks and give you a few words of love. You knew he was afraid of losing you, and you would return his worries with a squeeze of a hand or a kiss.

A day came when you told him you had some business. You entered some information into the TARDIS console and showed it to him.

"We've traveled a lot and I promised some of the people we've met some things. You can just drop me off, pick me back up when I call you," you said.

When he went quiet for a moment after checking the monitor, you started to step towards him. He looked back up to you with a grin on his face and ran around the console, slamming buttons, pulling levers, and sliding around on his boots.

"You need shoes with better traction. I love you, and I'll call you in a bit, okay?"

"(Y/N). My (Y/N)," the Doctor said, his hands now holding the sides of your neck in a gentle caress. "The best thing that has ever happened to me in all the universes. You are the best companion any Time Lord could want, and the best lover any being could ask for. I love you with your strengths and your flaws. I love you more than I could ever imagine. You finish that business, and you do it well."

"Hm. This is hardly the longest I've left you. We had a whole Earth month when I had to be there for a bit. I love you."

"I love you," he whispered back.

He pulled you into an embrace, which you returned automatically. He kissed you and you chuckled, taking the steps out of the TARDIS that would mark your final exit. This was a walk towards your death.

You, with your intelligence. You, with your empathy, no matter how well you showed it. You, with your timer ticking down. You, with both the Doctor's hearts. You, taking the Doctor's love with you.

It would only be a few days for you now, he knew. He put the TARDIS into the time vortex. The love of his life, gone within minutes upon meeting him and dying while trying to save other people. It was a death worthy of a companion and worthy to be his own. He remembered the room you shared. Bunk beds. You hated him for it.

"Doctor, we've been together for hundreds of years! Can you please, for the love of all the universe, tell the TARDIS to change it?"

"You're the empath. You talk to her."

"You're my lover, and she's your ship! Fix it!"

A bit of fiddling with the console redesigned the room. No bunk bed. Of course, you never really minded that much. You knew how much he enjoyed the human invention of a bed with a ladder. He could only laugh sadly, but it was much too early for him to be shedding tears. Perhaps he never would. He hurt and loved all at the same time. He knew the risks he took when he found you all those years ago, and he took them anyway. He never could resist a mystery, and you were his favourite one. He set his course for the first peaceful planet you brought him to, just one last time.

He pulled out the psychic paper. You began and ended your journey with him in just minutes, and began it again when he went back for you all because of the paper. His brows furrowed when he noticed that it wasn't blank like it should have been.

"HELP, DOCTOR"

Coordinates. Just a fraction of a number's difference compared to the first time he saw the same message. An empath with a telepathic field.

This was your call.

"Oh, you're brilliant. You are amazing."

He changed his course, the last lever pulled with the one word that he always used in a time of need.

"Geronimo!"

[aclosetfan]

ask game number 10?

(ask game) thank you so much for asking!!!!

BUBBLE BAND ♥♥♥

YESSSS YESS haha yessss someone chose 10!!!!!! So pumped for this one. For new fandom members (lmao I’m like a damn fandom historian), battle of the band fics got really popular for half a second b/c of the punks. I outlined my own where the punks are included but with a twist. No powers au, multi chap fic.

My outline is really detailed because I know I’m going to be writing this one!! It’s just too much fun, but I’m only gonna give you the jist, I don’t want to spoil too much :))) I���ve got like six pages of notes and I’m still not done mapping it all out. It’s supposed to be goofy as well as a big s/o to everyone who watched cringy amvs on youtube in the early 2000s <3

BACKGROUND:

Brick (lead guitar), Butch (bass), and Boomer (drums) are three brothers with a shitty garage band. They think they’re hot shit. They’re not hot shit (not yet). They’re good at playing their instruments but they don’t have a big following (or any good songs). On a good night, Mojo (their adopted father) indulges them and brings the crowd to a stunning total of 1.

PLOT:

One day, Boomer gets it in his head that he doesn’t want to be a punk rocker anymore. It’s dumb, he’s bored, and obviously, he is the next Picasso, so he quits the band. Brick all but disowns him as a brother. Butch is like dude I’d be cool staying in the band and Brick goes “you don’t have a choice!” Butch is like “aight, but now that Boom’s gone, can we maybe play a song I wrote?” Brick’s like, “no!” Butch is like “aight. That’s fair it’s dumb anyway. No harm, no foul bro. How are we going to get a new drummer as good as Boomer?” Brick’s like, “we’ll find someone better!” They won’t because, to give credit where credit is due, Boomer is quite a good musician.

Butch is like well this still sucks though cause we just got all those t-shirts. Like we’re broke af and they’ve got Boomer plastered on the front of them too. We can’t just replace them. Brick’s like “we’ll find someone better and someone who looks like him nbd.”

Brick and Butch don’t know any other drummers and they certainly don’t know anyone who drums and also looks like Boomer, so they make flyers~  

“Annnd,” Brick chirped, grabbing the page from the printer, “done. There. Perfect. We just need to make like a thousand more of these and post them around the City.”

Butch yanked the flyer from his hand with a frown, his eyes jumping around it before he grimaced, “Man, I dunno.”

“What?”

“Must have blonde hair, blue eyes,” Butch looked up, “reads kinda neo-nazi-ish.”

Brick ripped the page from Butch with wide eyes, rereading the flyer. After a second he hissed, “Ah fuck. Fucking Boomer.”

“He ruins everything.” Butch solemnly agreed.

“Fascist can’t even be punk.” Brick huffed, glaring at the flyer.

Together they sat back in their chairs and regarded the flyer before turning their attention back to his cracked computer screen. After a few moments of hmm’ing and haa’ing, Brick snapped his fingers and leaned over his keyboard. He made the font big, bold, and red so it couldn’t be ignored at the bottom of the flyer:

‘CAN’T BE A FKING SKINHEAD’

“Dude,” Butch nodded, reading over his shoulder, “it’s beautiful.”

And then the boys post the flyers everywhere. Including their school, where most people ignore them regularly. Their flyers however become popular scratch paper for the art department where one Ms. Bubbles Utonium stumbles upon them. She takes it as a sign. She’s a bit of a drum hobbyist, but her dad has had enough of the racket and she needs to find a new place to play. She’s not practiced or anything, but she fits the four requirements to a “T”. She has blonde hair. She has blue eyes. She can play the drums. And she isn’t a skinhead! She thinks it’s silly they even had to clarify that. She’s not too into punk music but even she knows fascists can’t be punk! So on the day of auditions, she shows up with her drum sticks and gets in line!!

Brick and Butch are floored when Bubbles Utonium comes strutting in. They only know her because she’s a popular cheerleader at their school and shares an art class with Boomer, who only ever complains about the perky upbeat girl. Their first thought is to laugh, but when she starts playing, they’re like “oh?” She’s inexperienced, but she’s got a knack for it, and (as Butch points out) she is not a skinhead. Since she’s the best they’ve seen all day they offer her the position on the condition that she dresses like a dude when they play because of their t-shirt dilemma. She tells them that’s no problem, she likes playing dress-up, but they’ve got to work band practice around her cheer schedule. They agree.

The RowdyRuffs are a band once more.

Boomer btws is NOT AT ALL jealous. Not at ALL. Nope. (he totally is and he’s very obvious about it). In one of the early band practices that he barges in on to “check out the new drummer,” he’s ten shades of betrayed when he sees Bubbles of all people in his seat. He does not like Bubbles. Bubbles thinks Boomer is the bees-knees. He doesn’t like her because she’s good at just about everything he wants to be good at—except for drumming, which he proves then and there and is like “your new drummer sucks, later losers, you wish you still had me, by the way, dad wanted me to tell you he’s making tacos and they’ll be ready in ten.” Bubbles is not deterred by his behavior, thinks how he plays is really cool, and wants him to teach her, which he continuously refuses to do, but that doesn’t stop her from pestering him. (eventually, he does tho just a fyi; Bubbles is hard to resist)  

Jumping forward in time, Princess becomes involved as their PR manager and decided that Bubbles shouldn’t act as Boomer anymore. They need “horny old man money” and everyone’s like ooooh yeah, horny old man money, neat! So, in all her genius, Princess decides to make Bubbles “Brat.” And boom! Here’s our first powerpunk girl.

It’s a hit with the crowd that the band is slowly starting to amass. After accidentally hearing Butch goof around on his bass, Buttercup ((((Bubbles’ sister, who at the beginning of the story takes pity on Butch and Brick and volunteers to help teach her sister how to be “punk rock”. She is also forced to drive Bubbles to and from band practice (because Buttercup is being punished for failing math)))) encourages him to pitch his songwriting to the rest of the band. He refuses. Brick’s the guy who writes the songs, who’s very bad at it.

However, after another shitty song about some mystery girl Brick swears he doesn’t have a crush on, Bubbles has enough and assigns the boys some songwriting homework. Butch writes a banger and their little band gets more recognition. They’re now playing sizeable gigs, but wait! OH NO! Bubbles and Butch aren’t going to make it to the show on time. Boomer’s like, “shit Brick! The show must go on, dude, but where are you going to find two people who know how to play the exact same instruments as Butch/Bubs, know all their cues, and all the songs in the next ten minutes????” Brick looks at Buttercup (plays bass like Butch/almost at all the band practices/has a lovely voice despite what she says) and Boomer (who was Bubbles before Bubbles) and goes “huh, genius, I wonder.” Buttercup’s like “oh no, wait wait! I’ve got stage freight!” To which Brick says, “get over yourself and join my shitty fucking band!”  

And that’s how we get our Brute <3 (named by Brick). She’s a hit!

They just keep getting bigger and bigger as a band, and record labels are starting to take an interest, so after Brute debuts, everyone’s like welp, Brick needs his counterpart too. And it’s eventually Blossom, but that comes about in a roundabout way because Brick’s feelings are still hurt (she’s the girl he was crushing on, but she rejects him). Eventually, Bubs is like “listen, Brick, we need a Berserk (Butch name’s this imaginary person), and it's coming down to the wire. Blossom can do it. I know she can. It’s for the band.” So, he sucks it up and Blossom hesitantly accepts (she’s very much preppy pop to whatever Berserk is lol so it’s difficult for her at first). After a heart-to-heart with Brick, they make amends (I think I’ll leave it platonic for now tbh) and their first show altogether is a hit!

As always, there’s a happy ending :) They get their record deal lol.

I can’t write songs. I’m shit at poetry, but I was thinking about just choosing irl music and mashing them up, so the music is still “original” but people can also be like omg I remember that horrible song from my emo “phase.” I have to find a good song list first. If anyone’s still reading send me some recs. The music I like is too embarrassing.  

[shirlleycoyle]

How 9/11 Became Fan Fiction Canon

Every fictional character you can think of has experienced 9/11 in fanfiction.

A Clone Wars veteran with two lightsabers is on United Airlines Flight 93 and prevents it from crashing. Ron and Hermione get caught up in the chaos as the towers fall. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her friends watch the attacks unfold on TV from Sunnydale. We have spent 20 years trying to process what happened on 9/11 and its fallout, and that messy process can be tracked through the countless, sad, disturbing, and sometimes very funny fanfiction left across the internet.

Many of the fanfics written in the weeks and months following the 9/11 attacks seemed to directly respond to the news as it happened, processing the tragedy in real-time through the eyes of characters they loved. In the absence of a canon episode where Daria Morgendorffer paid respects to those lost, writing fanfic about these characters also experiencing trauma helped fans cope.

One YuGiOh fanfic published on fanfiction.net in May 2002 could have been ripped exactly from what this writer experienced that Tuesday morning. “It started as a normal day,” user Gijinka Renamon wrote. Yugi and his friends were in school, where their teacher informed them of the attacks and sent everyone home from school.

“After reading people’s 9/11 fics, I decided to write my own, and put a certain character in it. And Yugi and his pals were my first choice,” the author's note reads, explaining the connection they felt to United flight 93 and the World Trade Center attacks. Given that they lived in Pennsylvania, and “it’s close to New York, I felt really sad about it.”

Stitch, a fandom journalist for Teen Vogue, told Motherboard that this reaction to 9/11 is not at all uncommon in fandom.

"Fandom has always been a place that positions nothing as 'off limits,'" she said. "Historical tragedies like the Titanic sinking and atrocities like… all of World War 2 show up regularly across the past 30 years of people creating stories and art about the characters they love. So, on some level, it makes sense that 9/11 and the following 20-year military installation in the Middle East has joined the ranks of things people in different fandoms turn into settings for their fan fiction."

Reactions depicted in a handful of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfics published in the weeks after the attacks ring a little truer to the characters. “Tuesday, 11th September 2001,” written by Anna K, almost echoes the lyrics from “I’ve Got a Theory,” one of the songs in the musical episode that aired in November 2001. “We have seen the apocalypse. We have prevented it. Actually, we’ve prevented quite a few. So we know what they look like,” they write, before taking a darker turn. “They look a lot like…New York today.”

Killing demons and vampires doesn’t phase the Scooby Gang, but when preventable human death is brought into the picture, it’s gut wrenching.

“What am I supposed to do…When I can’t do anything to save the world?” Buffy cries  into Spike’s chest, watching the attacks unfold on TV in a fanfic the author described as being “about feeling numb and helpless.”

In “Blood Drive,” Kirayoshi writes about Buffy and her friends saving a van full of donated blood meant for victims of the attacks from a group of thirsty vampires. One Buffy the Vampire Slayer fic even takes a blindly patriotic turn, where noted lesbian witch Tara McClay helps Xander hang an American flag from the window of the magic shop to make Anya feel better.

Experiencing 9/11 as a young teenager was overwhelming not just because of the loss of life. Almost immediately after the event itself, it was as if the entirety of American culture re-oriented itself towards an overtly jingoistic stance. As we get distance from the attacks, seeing the tone of television and movies from the early 2000s is jarring, and some have gone viral on Twitter. In the world of pop music, mainstream musicians like the Chicks, formerly known as the Dixie Chicks, were blacklisted from the radio while Toby Keith sang about putting a boot up the ass of terrorists. On the Disney Channel, a young Shia Labeouf reading a poem he supposedly wrote about the events. The poem concludes with the line, "it's awesome to be an American citizen."

In a world so completely saturated with this messaging, it is not surprising that fanfic authors started including 9/11 in their work so soon after the event. Even The West Wing had a strange, out of continuity, fanfic-esque episode where the characters reacted to 9/11. In some cases, it made sense that the characters in the stories would be close to or a part of the events themselves.

"For characters like John Watson or Captain America, the idea works to an extent," Stitch told Motherboard. "In the original Sherlock Holmes works and the 2011 BBC series, Watson had just returned from Afghanistan. For Captain America and other Marvel heroes, 9/11 was something that was addressed in-universe in The Amazing Spider-Man volume 2 #36. Technically, 9/11 is 'canon' to the Marvel universe."

In “Early Warning: Terrorism,” a fanfiction for the TV show Early Edition in which a man who mysteriously receives tomorrow's newspaper, predicting the future, avoids jingoism, but tries to precent 9/11 from happening. This fanfic remains unfinished; it’s unclear if the characters successfully prevent 9/11 in this retelling.

Largely in fanfic from the era just after 9/11, when many young authors were trying to emotionally grapple with it, the characters don't re-write or undo the events themselves. It's this emphasis on the reaction to tragedy that colors the fanfiction that features 9/11 going forward.

Although fanfiction authors have been writing about 9/11 consistently since soon after the event, whenever that fanfiction reaches outside of its intended audience, it looks bizarre.

A screenshot of a Naruto 9/11 fanfic on the Tumblr subreddit comes without any context, or even more than two lines and an author's note. It’s impossible to suss out if this falls into the category of sincere fanfic without the rest of the piece or a publication date, but modern-day commenters on the Reddit thread see it as classic Tumblr trash.

Screenshot from r/Tumblr

“Bin Laden/Dick Cheney, enemies to lovers, 10k words, slow burn,” one user joked in the replies, underscoring the weirdness of Naruto being in the Twin Towers by comparing it to a What If story about Cheney and Bin Laden slowly falling deeply in love.

It’s hard to tell how much of the 9/11 fanfic and fanart starting a few years after the attacks is sincere, and how much of it is ironic, and trying to make fun of the very concept of writing fanfiction about 9/11.

A 2007 anime music video (in which various clips, usually from anime, are cut together to music) that combines scenes from The Lion King with Linkin Park’s “Crawling” and clips from George Bush’s speeches immediately after the attacks feels like the perfect example of this. Even the commenters can’t seem to suss out if this person is a troll or not.

There’s no way that My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic 9/11 fanart could be serious, right? Especially if the description pays tribute to “some of the nation's most memorable buildings,” and features five of the main characters as child versions of themselves. The comments again are split between users thanking the artist for a thoughtful remembrance post, and people making their own headcanon for why Twilight Sparkle is surreptitiously absent from the scene.

Screengrab via DeviantArt

There’s Phineas and Ferb fanfic that combines a 9/11 tribute concert with flashbacks to Ferb being rescued from the towers as a baby, written on the 10th anniversary of the attacks. It jumps from introspection to lines like, “‘Quiet Perry the Platypus. I’m trying to listen to these kids singing a 9/11 tribute.’”

The author's notes make it more likely that they meant for this to be a tribute piece, but it doesn’t quite make sense until watching a YouTube dramatic reading of it from 2020, fully embracing the absurdity of it all.

“For me, 9/11 is synonymous with war. It completely changed the course of my life," Dreadnought, the author of a Captain America fanfic Baghdad Waltz that sees Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes fall in love over the course of the war on terror, told Motherboard. "It’s the reason I joined the military, and I developed deep connections with people who would go on to deploy to Afghanistan and Iraq. These very much felt like my generation’s wars, perhaps because people I graduated high school with were the youngest folks eligible to serve at the time.”

Dreadnought told Motherboard that although they didn't deploy, their career has kept 9/11 and the trauma from it in their mind. After seeing that people who fantasize about Steve and Bucky getting together seemed particularly interested in reading fanfiction that related to 9/11, they decided to try their hand at it.

"I had to do something with all of that emotionally, and I’m admittedly a bit emotionally avoidant. So I learned through fic that it’s easier for me to process those feelings and the knowledge of all the awful stuff that can happen in war if I can turn it into something creative," Dreadnought said. "Give the feelings to fake people and then have those fake people give the feelings to readers!"

To Dreadnought, who is a queer man, the experience of researching and writing this was more cathartic than they first expected, especially as a way to navigate feelings about masculinity, military culture, and queer identity. But they said the research they did, which included watching footage of first responders at ground zero, was what helped them finally process the event itself.

"It was like a delayed horror, and it was more powerful than I expected it would be." Dreadnought said. "When I was eighteen, I was pretty emotionally divorced from 9/11; I just knew I wanted to do something about it. So coming back to it in my 30s while writing this fic, it was a very different experience. Even the research for this story ended up being an extraordinarily valuable exercise in cognitively and emotionally processing 9/11 and all of its second and third order effects."

Fanfiction that features 9/11 provides an outlet for people who still grapple with the trauma from that day. But Stitch warns that the dynamics of fandom and how it relates to politics can also create fiction that's less respectful and more grotesque.

"With years of distance between the stories written and the original events of 9/11, there seems to be some sort of cushion for fans who choose to use those events as a catalyst for relationships—and Iraq and Afghanistan for settings," Stitch said. "The cushion allows them room to fictionalize real world events that changed the shape of the world as we know it, but it also insulates them from having to think about what they may be putting into the world."

The tendency of turning these events into settings or backgrounds for mostly white, male characters to fall in love has the unintended effect of displacing the effects that the war on terror has had on the world over. Steve and Bucky might fall in love during the war on terror, but they would also be acting as a part of the American military in a war that has been criticized since it started. Fanfic writers in other fandoms have come under fire for using real world tragedy as settings for fic before. In the aftermath of the 2010 Haiti earthquake Supernatural fanfiction about the actors Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki going to the island to do aid became controversial within the fandom. There have also been fics where characters grapple with the death of George Floyd that is written in a way that displaces the event from the broader cultural context of race in America.

"A Captain America story where Steve Rogers is a 'regular' man who joins the US Army and 'fights for our freedom' post-9/11 is unlikely to deal with the war’s effect on locals who are subject to US military intervention," Stitch said. "It’s unlikely to sit with what Captain America has always meant and what a writer is doing by dropping Steve Rogers into a then-ongoing conflict in any capacity."

After enough time, “never forget” can even morph into “but what if it never happened?” A 19k+ word Star Wars alternate universe fanfic asks this question, wondering what would have unfolded if someone with two lightsabers was on United Flight 93. This fic, part of a larger fanfic series with its own Wikia, considers what would have happened if Earth was a military front in the Clone Wars.

In this version of events, a decorated general who served in the Clone Wars is able to take back control of Flight 93 before it crashes, landing safely and preventing even more tragedy from happening that day. In the end, all of the passengers who made harrowing last calls to their loved ones before perishing in a Pennsylvania field survive thanks to the power of the Force, and are awarded medals of honor by President Bush.

Twenty years after the attacks, it’s painful to think about what would have happened if people got to work 15 minutes later, or missed their trains that morning. There weren’t Jedi masters deployed to save people in real life, but for some of the fanfic writers working today, the world of Star Wars might feel just as removed as the world before September 11, 2001.

Fiction serves as a powerful playground for processing cultural events, especially generational trauma. The act isn't neutral though; a decade's worth of fanfiction that takes place on or around 9/11 shows how our own understanding of a traumatic event can shift with time.

How 9/11 Became Fan Fiction Canon syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[ilovefandoms102]

Part 3-Shape of My Heart

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Falling in love with someone you can never have is the worst feeling in the world...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams @judayyyw @lonely-kermit @gviosca @iamaunicorn4704 @jellyfishbeansontoast @fernweh-fangirl​ @runway-to-my-aid​ @eb15​ @hurricane-abigail​ @tangledinsparkles​ @fandom-phaser​ @sunwardsss​ @http-cherries​

Part 2 Part 4

Note: We’re almost at 400 new friends!!!! I just want to say THANK YOU to each and every one who has taken time to read even just one of my stories. I truly from the bottom of my heart appreciate it. I love seeing the comments, messages, and reblogs from everyone who has taken the time to do so! It inspires me to put out even more for you guys, and I have so many ideas I want to share with you all! Hope you guys enjoy and don’t forget to let me know what you think!

===============================

LAX’s airport was bigger than I could have ever imagined...

I rolled my suitcases along to where Rudy had told me they would be waiting, a duffel bag slung over my shoulder. Hey, I was staying for almost a month in California, I had necessities to bring. I heard my name being called, whipping my head in the direction it came from. I beamed when I saw everyone, making my way towards them. 

Both Maddie’s made it to me first, taking me into a group hug. They squealed and jumped around, saying how excited they were to see me. Chase ruffled my hair, taking me into a side hug. I spotted Rudy last, a sly smirk on his face. He was more handsome than I remembered, despite seeing his face almost everyday. It was different now that I saw him standing before me, the slight beard he was growing made him look older. He pulled me into a bear hug, inhaling my scent. I did the same, loving the feeling of his arms around me. 

“I missed you guys so much.” I admitted, pulling away from Rudy.

“We can’t wait to show you around!” Maddie C exclaimed.

Rudy took my duffel bag while Chase got one of my suitcases, leading the way to the car. He grunted when I handed him my bag, slinging it over his shoulder. 

“Jesus woman, what’s in here?” Rudy asked, using both hands to haul my bag.

“Makeup, shoes, ya know...girl stuff.” I shrugged, turning to wink at him over my shoulder. 

“There’s gotta be some cement blocks in here or something.” he grumbled, slinging into the back of the car. 

“Careful! There’s some expensive shit in there!” I gasped, earning an eye roll from the blonde. 

The girls and Chase piled into the back, leaving me to sit up front with Rudy driving. I glared at the three devils in the back, knowing what they were up to. Once we got out of the airport, we jammed out to some 80′s rock. Although, Chase, Rudy, and I were the only ones that knew any of the songs. 

I was an old soul, I loved old music. I listened mostly to anything from the 80′s to the early 2000′s, from pop to rock n roll. My mom always liked to tell me that I was born in the wrong era, and I guarantee she’s right. I think that’s also why Rudy and I got along so well, both of us having the taste for old music. The Maddie’s sat back and enjoyed our concert, videoing us at points when Rudy would go crazy. 

I loved that I could be myself around them, not feeling the need to hide. Scream singing in the car while dancing with my best friends, this is what I needed after a stressful 4 months. I breathed in the Los Angeles air, feeling the sun beating down on my arm that hung out the window. I watched as the palm trees passed, the salty air feeling inviting. 

====================================

Once we arrived at Chase’s house, everyone pitched in to lug my shit up the stairs. It was a real struggle since Chase had to pick a house with millions of steep steps. We were all huffing and puffing by the time we made it to my room I’d be living in for the next month, all of us crashing to the bed. Rudy crashed on top of me, a giggle erupting from my lips. 

“You’re comfy,” he sighed, squeezing his arms around me.

It was odd feeling small in his arms despite being bigger than most girls, he was a lot more buff than I remember him being. We didn’t move for a while, just shifting so that Rudy was laying with his head on my stomach so he wouldn’t be crushing me. I spotted Maddie C pulling her phone out.

“Don’t you dare Madelyn,” I chuckled, knowing she was doing it anyways.

“You guys look pretty comfy.” she giggled, moving her finger to zoom.

“That makes one of us,” I commented, playing along for wherever she was about to post. Rudy looked at me offended, his lips pouting out. 

Hysterical laughter came from all of us except Rudy who was still pouting, getting up to lay beside of me instead. I poked his lip, my stomach hurting from laughing so hard. He shoved my hand away, turning his back to me. 

“Oh come on Ru, it was for the video.” I scoffed, tugging his huge bicep.

“I’m mad at you.” he huffed, but I could see the slight smirk on his face. 

“Who decided to have a sleepover and not invite me?” a girl asked, walking in the room. 

From Instagram I could tell this was Elaine, her beauty even more striking in person. She made me feel intimidated, her eyes lingered on where Rudy and I sat. I could see the jealousy in her eyes, making me scoot away from him. 

“Hey El, this is y/n. Y/n, this is Elaine.” Maddie C introduced, gesturing to both of us. 

“So this is the famous y/n...” she said, raising her brows. I felt her gaze burning over me, making me even more self conscious. 

“That’s me, um I’ve heard all about your amazing photography.” I laughed nervously. 

“Yeah, Rudy and I just had a shoot actually.” she revealed.

Maddie B seemed to be the only one to notice the tension in the room, Rudy hadn’t even looked up from his phone yet. I looked at her and she arched her brow at me, clearly not used to Elaine being so passive aggressive.

“Are we going to eat guys? I’m starving.” Chase groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. 

“I haven’t ate at all today, what’s good around here?” I asked excitedly.

“Why haven’t you ate today?” Rudy inquired, his eyes full of worry.

“I’ve been on a plane for hours, I didn’t exactly want airport food.” I informed, rolling my eyes. 

“You shouldn’t do that babe, how are you not sick?” he questioned. Everyone’s eyes widened when he said ‘babe’, my cheeks flushed. 

“Stop lecturing me Ru,” I huffed.

==================================

“I’ve never seen her act like that before...” Maddie B confessed. We were sat in my room as everyone else departed to get ready for dinner. 

“I thought you said she had a thing for Drew?” I said confusedly. 

“The past few times we have all hung out together, they seemed more than friendly.” Maddie B declared, shrugging her shoulders.

“No matter, it’s not like there’s any competition.” I sighed, finishing up my makeup.

“You right because that boy is GONE for you!” she cheered.

“No Mads, because she is the Instagram photographer and I’m the DUFF of our friend group.” I rolled my eyes.

“Excuse you, but if anyone is the DUFF it’s Chase. Look at his hair y/n.” she scoffed. A knock on the door startled the both of us, Rudy poked his head in.

“Sorry to interrupt ladies, but we are all starving to death.” he stated, his eyes looking between us. 

===================================

Dinner was super awkward, starting with when we went to sit down. I stayed behind to let everyone else pick their seats first, leaving Elaine to rush to sit beside Rudy. He quirked a brow at her, obviously confused why she wanted to sit by him so bad. Rudy patted the spot across from him, my cheeks blushing again as I sat down. 

The conversations were hit and miss...anytime one of us tried to tell a story about the time we spent together, Elaine would interject about something her and Rudy did. She would subtly eye me, engaging my reaction. I felt so uncomfortable, that was until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Drew, my brother from another mother. 

“Long time no see buddy!” he beamed. I rose up from my spot to hug him, ruffling his hair.

“I figured it was time to see what LA is all about, and as I’ve been told, my presence was long missed.” I teased, everyone laughed except Elaine. 

Drew said hello to everyone, leaning to kiss Elaine’s cheek. I looked at Maddie B who was beside me, furrowing my brows in confusion. She shrugged her shoulders, waving as Austin joined our table. He leaned down to hug me, patting my head as he passed to take his seat. Rudy reached across the table to tap my hand, he smiled when I turned my attention to him. 

“What are you getting? Do you want to share an appetizer with me?” he questioned.

“I’m really thinking of just getting chicken fingers, they look yummy.” I grinned. He gave me a ‘really’ look.

“Get whatever you want, you aren’t paying anyways.” he smirked, knowing this would rile me up.

“Rudy, no.” I groaned.

“No arguing, pick something that you really want babe.” he demanded.

“Wait are they dating?”  I heard Drew whisper to Maddie C and Chase, not doing a very good job of not wanting me to hear.

“No, I wish they would though.” Maddie C replied.

The night got better, laughter filling the restaurant. It felt so good to be with my people again, my heart was full of joy. Rudy and Drew spent half our time shooting paper spit balls at each other, one even accidentally hitting Austin square in the face. 

“Who’s up for clubbing tonight?!” Drew asked, earning cheers from a few of us.

“I don’t know if I’ll make it, I’m seriously jet lagged.” I yawned.

“Come on y/n, once you get a few shots in you’ll be good to go!” he insisted.

“I’ll take you back to the house if you really don’t want to go.” Rudy offered.

 “Please y/n!” Maddie C begged, Maddie B joining in as well.

I looked at Rudy who just smiled at me, waiting for my response. I made a split second decision without really thinking about it. 

“Ok, I’ll go.” I sighed.

What am I getting myself into?

[ktrsss1fics]

Cake By The Ocean: Eight.

If you were to ask Georgina Ferguson what her last full day in Mykonos would consist of, never in a million years would she say a day at the beach with her boyfriend followed by a night on the town with her closest friends. As the bars began to close, the gang made their way back home. Mags and Jenna held hands and gossiped. Jamie, Keith, and Niall were singing some song from the early 2000s. Georgina trailed behind everyone reminiscing about her time in Greece.  She was drunk off sangria and the smell of a certain Irishman’s cologne. This trip was exactly what she needed. Her heart was happy and her love meter was full. 

“Ferg, wait until we’re home to undress the poor boy.” Dave said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. 

“Heart wants what it wants, David.” Georgina smiled as she took her eyes off her boyfriend.

“He truly thinks the world of you.” Dave said. 

“Assss he should.” Brittany slurred as she slipped her hand into Georgina’s. 

A moment of silence passed between the trio. It wasn’t very long until the house they were staying in came into view. Georgina gave her best friend’s hand a squeeze as the rest of their friends filed inside. 

“You two should come over for dinner when we get home.” Brittany said. “It’ll be like old times.”

“But now we know they’re shaggin’.” Dave teased. 

“The kids are in love. Leave ‘em alone.” Britt said. 

“Doesn’t take away from the fact that she’s probably sat on his face by now.” Dave said smugly. 

“David!” Brittany and Georgina groaned  in unison.

The gentle giant placed a quick kiss on the top of Georgina’s head. “Only taking the piss, babes.”

“We’ve talked about this, what she does in the bedroom is-is-is her business.” Brittany said. 

“You birds take everything so seriously.” Her boyfriend sighed. 

“Oi, what are they on about, Davey?” Niall asked from inside the house.

“Nialler, settle a bet for me—“ Dave started to say before Georgina cut him off. 

“We aren’t in neutral territory anymore.” She said stepping inside. “Use your indoor voice.”

Marco, Ashlee, and Mar had declined the invitation to go out with everyone. No one understood why but they were not fond of the Terrible Threesome. Everyone was counting down the days until they said goodbye to them for good. 

Dave kissed her head once more before peeling away from her side. “Yes, Mum.”

“I’ll have a talk with him when we are alone.” Brittany said to her best friend as her boyfriend walked away. 

“He’s only doin’ it to push me buttons.” Ferg sighed. 

“Y’alright baby?” Brittany asked. 

“It’s probably because I’m drunk but I really don’t want to go home.” Georgina said. “It’s just going to be work and deadlines and I’m not gonna see everyone as much as I’d like.”

“I don’t know if you agree with me but this — as crazy as it sounds — has been the best trip we’ve been on and like I just don’t want things to change. You know?”

“It definitely has been one for the record books.” Brittany said grabbing onto Georgina’s other hand. “But you know you aren’t in this alone, right?”

“Yeah—“ Georgina said but Brittany shook her head. 

Britt looked up at her best friend. “We’ve all decided that we’ve got you. You aren’t in this alone anymore. We all talked and we aren’t letting any outside influences mess this up because—“

“He’s The Baby.” Georgina blushed. 

“And you’re you.” Britt smiled.

“Yeah but—“

“Oh fuck off Georgie.” Britt rolled her eyes. “They love you more than they love him most days.”

Georgina could feel her cheeks grow warm. Her friends truly meant the world to her and knowing they were fully supportive of her relationship with Niall meant everything. She truly didn’t know what she would do without them. 

“Fergithica and Brittania we need you over here. ASAP!!” Jenna shouted from the living room. 

“Where my bitches at?” Mags said through a microphone. 

“Oh god.” Britt said with her eyes closed. 

“I thought we hid the mic.” Georgina said wide-eyed. 

“Who the fuck gave her a mic?” Jamie cackled from the kitchen. 

Georgina and Brittany made their way into the living room while the rest of the boys joined them. Standing center stage were the drunkest members of the Hen House. 

“We wanna do karaoke!” Jenna said leaning against Margaret. 

“You lot can’t sing while sober.” Keith said taking a seat beside Georgina on the couch. “Who says you can in the state you’re in.”

“We have a thing called talent, Miller.” Mags slurred into the mic. “Might wanna look it up babes.”

“Yeah, as much talent as two cats in heat.” Keith mumbled making Georgina laugh. 

“Also, stating this now, Niall Horan is not allowed to sing.” Mags said pointing to the brown haired man. 

Niall threw his hands up in defense. “Whatever you want, babes.”

“Who wants to be the DJ?” Jenna asked, scanning the crowd that had formed. 

“What song you ruinin’ first?” Dave asked as he pulled out his phone. 

“Hmm… ‘Chandelier’ by Sia.” Jenna said causing the room to erupt into laughter. 

“Oh fuck right off you dicks.” Mags glared. 

As David cued up the music on the television, Jamie carefully walked in the room with a tray of drinks. 

“We are gonna need these.” Jamie said as his girlfriend got ready to sing her drunken heart out.  

The two women cleared their throats. Niall took this as a sign to make his way towards the couch. Not only did he want a front row seat to the show about to be performed but he wanted to be closer to the woman he loved. 

The Irishman had tried his best to keep his hands to himself when they were out in public. He didn’t know how comfortable Georgina was with showing any display of affection in front of their friends. He had made her keep their relationship a secret for months. The last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable by forcing too much affection too soon. 

Although he tried to keep his distance, the alcohol in his system and the way Georgina looked had his mind racing. He couldn’t wait until they were alone later. Niall leaned back in his seat before resting a hand on Georgina’s leg. This was exactly how he wanted to end their trip.

“This one is specifically dedicated to Keith Reginald Miller.” Mags said with a wink. “My biggest fan.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “You wanker.”

“Woo! That’s my baby.” Jamie cheered as he took a seat on the floor.

The next couple hours were filled with goblets of sangria and very poor renditions of some of the greatest songs ever created. From Robbie Williams to Lionel Richie,  Fergie and the gang sang their heart's out in the middle of that Grecian villa. 

While Jamie and Davey belted out a Bob Seger banger, Niall decided they needed food to sop up some of the liquor they had consumed. The Irishman made his way into the kitchen to see what he could come up with. Naturally, Georgina followed in suit.

The pair decided on grilled cheese sandwiches. They hoped the bread would bring everyone down a notch. Fortunately, their flights were in the evening so they had time to sleep off the hangover that was sure to take form once everyone headed to bed.

“Britt wants us to come over for dinner when we get back.” Georgina said as she pulled a piece of cheddar cheese away from the paper packaging.

“Just us four?” Niall asked, pressing a spatula into a slice of bread making it sizzle in the pan.

“Just like the good ol’ days.” She said with a nod.

“That’ll be brilliant.” Niall smiled as he looked up at her.

The kitchen grew quiet as the couple worked in peace. Their system had become second nature. Niall was in charge of grilling while Georgina took take care of all the prep work. A pile of sandwiches started to take form on the plate within minutes. It was just further proof that they were in fact a good team.

“Babe, are you sure we---” Niall said, flipping over one last sandwich.

“We’re gonna be good.” Georgina said reassuring him. “I promise.”

“I love you.” He smiled. “Like a lot.”

Georgina leaned against the counter. “I love you too.”

Once the last sandwich was finished, Niall walked over to where his girlfriend was standing. He rested his hands on the counter beside her. He leaned in close. 

“Just so we are both aware, I’m fucking you as soon as that door closes tonight.” He said softly. 

Georgina’s face lit up at the husky tone of his voice. 

“You can’t just look like an absolute goddess and get away with it.” Niall winked.

“Unacceptable, right?” She whispered as he pressed up against her. 

“Completely.” He said.

“Am I going to be punished?” She smirked. 

“Fuck, Georgina!” He said squeezing his eyes shit. “Please don’t give me a hard on in front of our friends.”

Georgina giggled. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Niall rolled his eyes making her laugh more. Without thinking, Georgina grabbed his chin and placed a very deep kiss on his lips. Niall’s heart wanted to explode. All he had wanted to do that night was kiss her. Now that he finally had the opportunity to he wasn’t going to stop. A slow and steamy make out session began. 

What the young couple didn’t know was that their every move was being recorded from the doorway of the kitchen by a very despicable human being. Every kiss that was shared in that kitchen was strung together in a short video that could ruin them. 

Marlene truly was the worst person on the planet. 

With a smug look on her face, the young American stopped the video. She turned slowly but slammed right into the chest of a very angry looking man. 

“Delete it.” He said. 

“I-I-I- don’t know what you’re talking about.” She stuttered nervously. 

“Delete the video.”

“I don’t kn—“ She started to say as she attempted to get away. He wouldn’t let her past. 

“Delete the video or I will ruin your life.” He stated.

[darkspellmaster]

Sex and the Castlevania series

So you may have all heard by now that the new seasons of Castlevania will have more gore and sex involved in the series. And for me at least this is a bit of a surprise. Not because Castlevania has not had sex as part of its storyline, (how else are the Belmonts going to be born), nor that nudity would be shown (see the Succubus for example) but in how it’s going to be used. 

As a player of the games, one thing has always stood out to me about the Castlevania series and the idea of fan service and sexuality and sex itself, it’s never used as a means of just titillation. There’s always a meaning behind it. And the reviews have me wondering if this is going to still be the case with the show, or is it going to be used as an “Oooh look how edgy we’re being this season.” because that’s not what sex in Castlevania is about. 

Sex, or the idea of intimacy between two romantic partners, has always been at the heart of the backstory of the Castlevania series. From the outset there’s has always been a sense of family and love and devotion in Castlevania. Even with the Arcade edition of Haunted Castle in 1988, the addition to the story of Simon was that he was newly married to his bride Selena, who was taken by Dracula. Years later Selena and the Mysterious Woman in Simon’s Quest II were mixed to create Linda Entwhistle who was Simon’s girlfriend in the book series based on the games. 

Years later during the more story-driven games that came out, sexuality and intimacy became part of the game in how it was presented. Namely the use of sex as a way to pull the innocents to the darkness ala the Vampire Brides in the original Dracula, and the loss of innocence (as with Lucy in the novel) and the idea of devotional love that conquers that darkness and temptation. 

In this sense, we’re seeing the use of the deadly sin of Lust acting as a temptation to the heroes as a means of making them be killed for their wanton desires. Yet love and intimacy also plays a huge part in fixing issues in the story and leading to tragic and happy endings. 

So with that in mind, I want to do a quick walkthrough of the way sex and love is used in these games and discuss why the idea of sex and violence shouldn’t be on the table with Castlevania as a metaphor as much. 

Let’s start with the timeline, rather than the game order because it makes more sense that way. 

The story of the Belmont Clan and Dracula are intertwined for all time, this is just a fact of the matter and not just some random accident. And Love plays a huge part in this story as the cannon story stands right now. Prior to this, Castlevania was a fun romp through the idea of beating up Old Universal Monster Movie characters (every one of the main bosses in the first game was tied to some form of Universal Horror Monster and it even has some Hammer Horror connections as well). But with the growth of the franchise, it was clear that a story needed to be told, so over the years, that story had evolved until in the early 2000s we got the very first story in the Belmont vs Dracula timeline in the form of Lament of Innocence. 

Now Lament isn’t just a story about the loss for Leon and his world view that there is nothing lurking in the dark. It’s the loss of friendship and of love, but also it’s the reinstatement of belief of the good of people and that there are those that can and will stand up to the darkness and that even as one loses everything, you don’t have to lose your soul in the processes. 

But let me start from the beginning in this case. Leon Belmont was a knight templar in the crusade. He was best friends with and cared deeply about his fellow Crusader Mathias Cronqvist. Now Mathias was a man of science and of learning and of a lot of things, he wasn’t a fighter the same way Leon was, so he was more into spells and magics, something that his family kept mostly from the Church at the time. 

Both Mathias and Leon were in love and devoted to the women that they felt deeply for, that being Leon’s fiance Sara Trantoul, and Mathias’s wife Elisabetha. Leon’s devotion to Sara was known by everyone, especially Mathias and this is very important since it’s Leon’s Love of Sara that drives him to abandon his cause with the Crusades and pretty much take up Vampire Killing for the rest of his life, training his children and their descendants, on how to defeat the man that took that love from him. 

Mathias, on the other hand, was emotionally devoted to Elisabetha, and, given the way he speaks of her, it’s clear that the devotion and love was returned. So much so that his love for her basically poisoned his mind and made him into the monster that would later come to regret his actions. As it was, Elisabetha died due to illness and Mathias abandoned the Crusades, became ill, and holed up in his home unable to be reached by any of his friends, Leon and Sara. It’s only when he learned that Sara was in danger from Walter Bernhard that he was able to get out of bed and warn his friend Leon of the danger, but, by then, it was too late and Sara was captured and taken to Walter’s castle. 

Now one of the huge parts of the story of Lament is is that it deals with devotion, honor, and the choices we make based on love. So while Leon is trying to save Sara he meets up with an alchemist, Rinaldo, who had lost his daughter Justine to Walter and was unable to save her. 

Leon renounces everything; his baron title, his home, his lands just so he can cast off his duty to go and save Sara. His love for her runs that deep that he’s willing to go into the Castle of Walter with just a sword and prayer and god save anyone that gets in his way. Rinaldo is far more of a pragmatic person and in this way juxtaposes Leon’s love of Sara.  Whereas Leon is far more optimistic about his chances against Walter, Rinaldo knows the bitter truth, that Sara has no hope of making it out of the castle and not becoming a vampire in the process. 

This becomes an important part of Leon’s story as he traverses the castle to try to locate Sara and comes across a number of characters that play a part in the story and the idea of love. Medusa, though not a sexualized being in this one, mentions that the whip he’s using is far more powerful than that of the version that Rinaldo used to save his daughter. 

Now, why is that? One could speculate that Rinaldo lacked the will to save his child, or that he knew the truth and couldn’t bear to have to take his daughter’s life. His feelings, however, whatever they lacked, caused the Whip to fail in what it needed to do, and thus he was forced to kill his own daughter. Leon on the other side of things has nothing but the will and drive to save Sara, and his love for her and desire to bring her home urges him on. This love, this need to help her, is what makes that whip work. That need for protecting something, it’s why Trevor needed to find Sypha and Alucard to eventually come to a reason why the Vampire Killer came to him. 

Joachim is an interesting one in regard to love in this game and how it is presented. Walter seduced the young man with the idea of immortality and when Joachim gained his Vampire state he realized that Walter was above him and rebelled. This lead to Walter putting him in captivity and driving him mad, for his own amusement. But how is this love? It’s a very dangerous and bad form of it, as Joachim both loathes Walter but also seems obsessed with him. He hates him with all he is, and at the same time wants to overpower and control him. This same sort of hate and love is what drives Mathias as well in his story. 

Then there’s the Succubus, the one character that really hammers in the idea of desire/Sex and love in this game and the differences between them. So the Succubus in Lament is an actual boss, vs. just being an enemy. She has no name, but her role is critical in understanding what’s going on in Walter’s castle. This succubus had previously disguised herself as Justine for Rinaldo, allowing him to lower his guard and possibly may have harmed him in the process. His rejection of this form of his daughter may have to lead him to make some critical mistakes. Mistakes that Leon doesn’t seem to make. Namely, after a bit, he sees through the Succubus using Sara’s form to trick him. 

Leon recognizes that the woman isn’t Sara based on her actions and way of moving, showing that though his connection with Sara he can’t be tricked and lured in by kind words from a monster. This is the opposite of what happened to Mathias. 

As I said there’s a tragedy to the love and sex in this game and the use of it. Walter luring Justine away with his beauty and her desire for him lead to her downfall, which leads us into Mathias. (We will circle back to Leon, I promise.) For Mathias Elisabetha was his whole world and when she died while he was away it leads him to reject all of his desires for hope and love and feelings. He lost his way and decided to renounce God and live as an immortal as revenge for God taking away his beloved wife. In order to get what he needed, he made a deal with Death, and the two decided to use Sara as bait for Walter and Leon was to be his sword. Mathias’s own devotion to Leon, and some of his humanity as well, shows up later in the story where he sympathizes and connects with Leon in regard to his own loss. Showing that they’re the same and that Leon should join him, which Leon rejects. 

This moment in the game is interesting because by this point in the story Leon has learned about how to defeat Walter and that Sara was bitten. In a lot of Vampire lore, biting is used as a way to indicate, in some cases, a sexual desire or a need that is fulfilled in a more intimate way. After all the neck is a body part that is known for being very much something that can be used for erotic aspects of lovemaking or showing desire. Which brings us back to the fact that Sara didn’t want to be turned. This wasn’t a choice on her part, unlike Joachim, and it leads to her rejecting the idea of wanting to remain a vampire. She desires death over having to be a monster and leads to Leon, at first vehemently rejecting Rinaldo’s order to kill her, and then accepting Sara’s desires to become one with the whip. 

It’s an important moment because it shows that Leon is willing to ignore his own desires for that of Sara’s, again showing his selflessness in putting what she wants ahead of his own, showing his love and devotion in a more adult and complex way. Sara’s own love is what fuels that whip and her need to protect Leon are the quintessential factors of  Love (Leon) to the opposing one of Lust (Walter) and in this case. 

Trevor and Sypha come next in regard to the issue of love and sex and while the show is clearly going to be showing more of their romantic escapades, it should be noted that the game doesn’t really make much mention of it at first, as Sypha in the game has a bit of a love triangle going on with Grant and Trevor as the main choices, although it seems like she only had eyes for Trevor. We know the two eventually had children but Sex, or lust, in the game never was a thing. Their devotion to each other in the show is telling, and in other games, both do pair up frequently, even in Judgement there’s an underlying tension between them. 

It’s of interest that in the show, we get to see the two of them acting as a couple, much like how Lisa and Dracula were shown acting like a couple. But actual sexual acts are, as with Lisa and Dracula, put on the side and in the case of Trevor and Sypha it’s only hinted at and not a full on display. Which falls into the same idea that most Castlevania games seem to have, the hero’s love interest typically is not shown engaging in sexual activity, or rather, only after bad things happen. 

I’ll jump to Richter and Annette, because that seems to be the next one in regard to how sexuality is used heavily in Castlevania. So in Rondo of blood, Dracula has Shaft take Annette since she is engaged to Richter Belmont. In a scene with him during the game, Annette threatens to take her own life rather than have relations with Dracula who intends to drink her and turn her into his bride. For the original version there’s a dramatic moment where Annette is talking to Dracula and he tries to lure her into becoming immortal to stay with him. She says she will not fall in such a cheap manner, the implications there are more along the lines of sex and him taking her physically from her fiance Richter. In the PSP game, if you take too long or go the wrong route you get the bad end where Annette has been transformed into a vampire and is placed in an overtly sexual outfit, down to a thong and bodice. Her hair goes down rather than the updo she has when she’s not turned and she very certainly is meant to be a temptress and a signal that Richter failed to save her from the deviousness of the vampire. 

This idea of sex, or the sexual, being used as a temptation and a devious thing in Castlevania has been around for a long time. However for every moment of some devious succubus being in the way of the hero, there’s always a moment of love that shows the positive side of it’s nature vs. the lustful side. Again, looking at Annette and Richter we get a moment when he frees her of her embracing him and happy that he’s there to be with her. That she knew he would come and that everything will be okay. 

Sexuality plays a heavy role in tempting Gabriel Belmont in his game, Lords of Shadow. During the game, as he tries to get to see his dead wife with a specialized mask. During the game he meets the Vampire Carmilla who offers to him a chance to become a vampire and enjoy the idea of a lustful existence. Every inch of her in the game is designed to pretty much be a temptress and lure Gabriel from his path to finding a way to see his dead wife. Yet it’s in this moment that we get to see how deeply his affection for his wife runs as Gabriel rejects this offer even more violently than with other Lords of Shadow that he’s faced. It’s a pretty strong moment for him as a character, and shows a deeper feeling in regard to his connection to his late wife. 

The reason I bring all these moments up is because even in the games where there’s hints of the sexual, as Vampires now are associated with Lust and temptation, the show uses sex as a means of connecting it with violence and some pretty dark ideas. Which contradicts the idea of how Love is the most powerful thing to defeat the darkness in Castlevania. 

Take Hector’s story right now. In the show we have his sexual encounter with Lenore which is contrasted with Isaac’s battle with Legion. The idea here is to show that both Isaac and Hector are being used, one being brought to his knees via false affection and entrapment by a woman who doesn’t love him and is using him as her own pet, who later slips the ring on him to collar him as she would a dog or cat. While the Isaac, even though he’s doing a good thing in defeating Legion (and i’m still damn sure that woman is Death in a false form) was used to destroy the wizard in the tower, releasing the village. In both cases manipulation was used in order for the opposing party to achieve their goal. 

For Lenore it was to get Hector to trust her enough to trap him and use him in her own way and for her own needs. She controls him now, making it impossible for him to escape from them, or so we are told to believe. On the other hand you have Isaac who, while used, acknowledges that he was so, accepts it, but is free to move on as the use of him wasn’t against his will, nor was it something changing him down. Rather the manipulation was used to not only stop something terrible, but also show him that there were others out there that were worth saving. Thus, in the poster, we have Lenore holding onto a bound and trapped Hector, and Isaac not quiet twisted up in thorns. 

The use of violence that we see shows that there’s a thin line in this world causing people to become entrapped by their own desires. For Isaac it was his revenge, for Hector it was his need to feel human again. Which brings us to the point where Rosaly comes into play in regard to Hector’s story. In Hector’s game Curse of Darkness, we see how his life drastically changed when he and she connect. From where he was in the story she brought the idea of hope and light to him, vs the darker aspects in the game that hint at someone who was cursed to believe he is a monster. In this way, I hope that if they bring in Rosaly we can see the opposition to Lenore’s way of using him for gratification and chaining him to her. 

On the other side of things, and something a bit easier to get at, is the idea of  trauma through the use of sex as shown in Alucard’s story. In the show we get to see Trevor and Sypha in bed, but it’s clear what’s happened there and the idea is that it’s less about their sexual encounters with one another than about their growth as a couple and how they interact outside of the bedroom and how they show love for one another. We see also they have a sense of betrayal when dealing with the Judge and the idea of Sypha’s world going from it just being fun and doing the right thing, to realizing the world is not black and white, and that not all people are good. 

In Alucard’s case we see the idea of the twins (I’m using the term as it’s easier for me to call them this, it doesn’t mean I’m saying they are twins just that they look alike) as filling a void and clearly being a representation of Trevor and Sypha (They even share the first initial of their names) that Alucard is looking for. Through their interactions we see that Alucard is, like Sypha in the other town, trusting them regardless of how many red flags they raise. The whole issue comes to a head when, after sharing a lot of things with them, Alucard is seduced by the two while trying to sleep. During the scene, as with Hector and Isaac, we see the sex as being connected to the violence of the battle that Sypha, Trevor and Germain get into. The twins end up wrapping Alucard in iron rings, much like Hector is imprisoned by Lenore with the ring, so to is Alucard. We see then that like Hector he’s betrayed and harmed by the emotional aspect of the betrayal. But unlike Hector who feels trapped, Alucard now feels anger at those that hurt him. 

The sexual act leads into the idea of him no longer trusting humans, especially with his heart. This of course is being used to drive Alucard to decide to lock himself back to sleep until the time of Richter and Maria (the warrior and the Mage), three hundred years later. The idea here is that the physical act of it is being used to show people being harmed in vulnerable states, and that sex is used as a tool to harm or destroy others just as certain acts of violence can. 

Yet, part of the story line of Alucard is that Maria chooses to go after him even after he says he’s cursed. Again, like Hector and Rosaly, showing that love is more of a counter to the anger and hate that seem to embolden those that would do bad in the world of Castlevania. So then, I must ask, why is the sex in the show being used not as it should be, showing how love can change someone, but rather as a connector to the violence. That wasn’t the idea of Castlevania, so I have to wonder what Warren is driving at here. 

[petersasteria]

The Forces of Nature || Ch.10

Pairing: Peter Parker x Superhero!Reader

Summary: “There’s this kid out there that can control the wind or something. I think she’s a great addition to the team. Let’s recruit her.”

SERIES MASTERLIST  ||  PP MASTERLIST

Click the picture for better quality

"Step five. Let her know you're Spider-Man. I don't know how, but she'll have to know." Peter muttered to himself as he silently read step five that was on the recruiting method which was pinned on the bulletin board in his room above his desk. For the next three days since Friday night, a.k.a the night he did step four, he had been reading and re-reading step five over and over.

After all, telling Y/N that he was Spider-Man was different and he had never done it before. Ned, aunt May, and MJ found out and figured it out on their own. "At this point, Y/N may have already figured out." Peter told himself, but he immediately shook his head.

However, it was impossible for Y/N to figure out because she and him weren't really close before. Therefore, Y/N has never really paid attention to Peter. Y/N may have picked up a few of MJ's traits here and there, but she never got MJ's way of observing. Again, Peter asked Scott for help when he took a break from patrolling on a Monday afternoon.

"Hey, what's up, Petey?" Scott smiled as he answered the phone. He munched on some chips while watching television. Peter scrunched up his face because it sounded like some weird ASMR mukbang video on YouTube.

"Yeah, hi. I need your help again." Peter said as he lifted his mask until his mouth so that he could speak properly and so that he could be understood.

Scott put his phone away from his ear and looked at Luis and grinned, "Hey dude, guess what."

"What?" Luis smiled.

"I'm talking to Spider-Man on the phone!" Scott bragged. "We're, like, besties now. He asks me for help. Like, I'm so honored! So, so honored."

If Peter didn't have any steps to be followed or if he weren't recruiting anyone, he would've laughed at Scott. But now, he didn't. He was desperate for help. He didn't know what to do.

"Um, Mr. Lang? You still there?" Peter asked.

Scott quickly pressed the phone on his ear again and said, "Yeah! And don't call me Mr. Lang. I sound old or whatever. Call me Scotty!"

"That sounds kind of weird." Peter admitted. "I'll, uh, I'll call you Scott instead."

"Sure thing, spider-bro!" Scott said excitedly as he looked at Luis, who gave him two thumbs ups. "Anyway, what did you need help with?"

"I don't know how to tell Y/N that I'm Spider-Man." Peter said in a hushed voice, afraid that someone might hear him despite sitting on the rooftop.

Scott nodded and hummed, "Well, I don't know what to say. I guess, just ease your way through it before actually telling her."

"How?" Peter questioned.

"I don't know." Scott shrugged. "Drop hints for a few days or something and when the time is right, just say it. Tell her."

"Scott, that's genius!" Peter grinned. "Thank you!"

"No problem, Spidey!" Scott chuckled. "I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Okay. Bye! Tha-"

Scott hung up and put his phone on the coffee table. Luis was shocked, "I can't believe you hung up on Spider-Man."

"I mean, I have to act chill, you know? I don't want to let him know that I'm freaking out!" Scott shrieked. "Like, he called ME!"

"Yeah, that's awesome!" Luis laughed and gave Scott a high five. Meanwhile, Peter was already planning on what hints to drop before telling Y/N about his secret.

-

Tuesday

Today's the first day that Peter would showcase his spider powers to Y/N. He didn't know which skill to show first. Although, that question was already answered when Y/N walked in school pushing a very very big box full of different items.

Peter jogged up to her and he said, "Good morning, Y/N!"

She gave him a sweet smile as she wiped her sweat with the back of her hand. She mumbled a small 'good morning' before pushing the big heavy box again.

"Allow me." Peter stopped her as he picked up the big heavy box with ease. Y/N looked at him in shock.

"Peter, oh my god." Y/N said. "Where the hell were you when I needed you? We literally live near each other."

"Sorry about that." Peter said as the two of them walked to her locker. "I woke up late and I went straight here. I was surprised that I got here first and when you entered the school with a big heavy box, I figured out why."

Y/N chuckled and opened her locker. Peter looked down at the loosely closed box and was able to take a peek at the things inside it. Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and looked at Y/N, "Um, what's all this, anyway? Are you running away or something?" He joked.

"No!" Y/N laughed and shook her head. "Those are all the old things from my community theater. I figured I could take it and bring it here and donate it to the theater club. Plus, the glee club need props too."

Peter nodded and pursed his lips, "Right, right. I forgot that you joined all of the clubs."

"Not all. I didn't join the cheer squad." Y/N smiled politely before closing her locker.

"Why didn't you?" Peter asked. In his opinion, not that anyone was asking, she would be a perfect fit in the cheer squad.

"I didn't want to risk my power for memory." Y/N whispered. "I can't touch the ground directly, remember? What if I'm on the bottom of the pyramid and the rocks start forming some memory on the field or something? I can't risk that. No one else knows about my powers except for you and Eunice."

'And the Avengers.' Peter thought. He nodded and said, "Yeah, that's understandable. Anyway, do we head off to the auditorium first before going to class? Or do we take this big ol' box with us to history?"

"Auditorium, please." Y/N smiled.

"Lead the way, Barbra Streisand." Peter chuckled as they walked together.

"You know Barbra Streisand?" She asked with a laugh.

"Of course, I do! I mean, not personally, but I do know her. I've seen her movie with Seth Rogen and her carpool karaoke with James Corden."

"That rhymed! Are you a rapper now?" Y/N laughed.

"Who knows?" Peter shrugged. "Maybe I'm the next Eminem." He joked.

The pair arrived at the auditorium and she made sure they placed the box on stage in the middle for the theater club moderator to see. Y/N pulled out a paper from her backpack and wrote down: My community theater decided to get rid of our old props. I figured I should donate them here instead of throwing it away. Sincerely, Y/N Y/L/N.

Y/N looked through her bag and pouted when she realized that she didn't have any tape or anything that could stick. Peter saw this and remembered that he put some leftover web fluid in a container in his backpack.

"I, uh, I have something sticky." Peter blurted out as he quickly looked inside his backpack for the container.

"Pete, you're my friend and all, but that sounded wrong." Y/N giggled. Peter's face flushed red, but didn't pay attention to it as he handed her the container. It was in an old Elmer's glue container.

Y/N thanked him before squeezing out the 'glue' at the back of the paper. Her face lit up when she didn't see the typical white color of the glue. She was surprised that it was transparent. "Okay, tell me where you shop for school supplies. This transparent glue is my new everything!" She said as she gave back the 'glue' and pasted the paper on the front side of the box.

"Uh, I didn't buy it. I actually made them." Peter said, which wasn't a lie. He really did make it, it just wasn't glue, that's all.

Y/N nodded. She was impressed. She grabbed her backpack and said, "Can you make me some?"

"Sure!"

The pair walked out of the auditorium in silence and the silence continued on even when they reached the classroom. It wasn't an awkward silence like before. It was comfortable.

"Peter?" She called his attention as they sat down in their respective seats.

"Hm?" He hummed.

"Thanks for carrying the box. If I had known you were that strong, I would've called you before I left my apartment." Y/N chuckled.

"No problem." Peter smiled. "I'm really glad I could help. Helping people is a part of me." He hinted, as if his super strength and web fluid weren't enough hints.

"You know, Spider-Man is like that." Y/N smiled. "That's why I admire him so much. I just wish I could know who he is."

"I know right? Same here." Flash said from behind her. Y/N and Peter turned to look at him as Flash shrugged.

Flash looked at Peter and nodded at him, "'Sup, dickwad?"

Peter gave him a thumbs up before he and Y/N turned around to wait for the teacher.

-

Wednesday

Y/N came to school that day wearing the most early 2000's look ever. She also wore pink as an homage to the most famous Mean Girls quote, "on Wednesdays, we wear pink". She wore a slightly fitted, long sleeved, pink shirt with a pink skirt and heels. She was dressed as Karen Smith. MJ, Ned, and Peter were surprised with her outfit.

"What's with the Mean Girls get up?" Ned asked with an amused smile on his face.

"Ned's right." MJ said as she looked at Y/N up and down. "I've never seen you wear pink before, but you actually look good in it."

Peter nodded, "Yeah, I agree."

"No mean remarks, Peter?" MJ asked and eyed him suspiciously. Peter just shook his head before he smiled at Y/N, who smiled back at him.

Later that day during lunch, Y/N was walking to her seat when she slipped on the floor. With Peter's enhanced reflexes, he immediately caught Y/N before she fell and he was able to catch her tray and her food.

Y/N gasped and she looked at Peter with wide eyes, "How did you do that?! You're so cool!"

Peter shrugged as he set down the tray before helping Y/N sit down so that she wouldn't slip again. MJ and Ned looked at each other because both of them knew that Peter was up to something and they had to corner him and ask him about it.

When the day ended, Y/N had to go to the auditorium for theater club. Finding Peter alone by his locker, Ned and MJ immediately cornered Peter. When Peter turned around, he was surprised to see MJ and Ned.

"Um... hey guys." Peter said.

"You're being really obvious, Peter." Ned said.

MJ nodded, "Yeah. I thought you being Spider-Man was supposed to be a secret. Why are you being obvious?"

Peter sighed. There was no choice but to come clean, "I need to drop hints about my powers to tell her that I'm Spider-Man."

"Why do you need to tell her?" MJ asked.

Peter opened his mouth to say something, but he immediately closed it. MJ didn't know about Y/N's powers and it wasn't his secret to tell. As much as his feelings were complicated towards Y/N, he would never tell her secret to anyone else. He wouldn't do that to anyone, even Flash Thompson. Thankfully, he thought of a quick cover up.

"Because I want her to know. We're friends after all." Peter reasoned.

-

Thursday

When Peter arrived at Y/N's apartment to pick her up like he did every morning, it was announced that classes were cancelled because of the storm.

"Peter, why don't you stay here for a while? You and Y/N can hang out here while I go to work." Eunice offered.

Y/N smiled, "Yeah, Pete! We can bake or something."

Peter shrugged, "I suppose I could stay." He pulled out his phone to text aunt May that he'd be staying at Y/N's apartment until it was safe to go out.

Eunice eventually went to work an hour later and the two teens were doing different things. Peter made himself comfortable in the couch as he watched Mean Girls. Y/N was busy in the kitchen as she cooked brunch for the two of them.

The two of them didn't know or didn't notice that it was all domestic at that moment. They failed to notice that they both looked good together. At one point, Peter paused the movie and stood up to stretch. He walked to the kitchen and watched her.

"You could've told me that you were cooking. I could've helped you." Peter said. He grabbed plates and set the table. It was the least he could do.

"Nonsense! You're a guest, Peter." Y/N smiled. "I'm done, anyway." She brought the food to the table and sat down. Peter sat down across from her and they ate in comfortable silence.

"This is really good." Peter said as he broke the quiet ambiance of the dining area. She grinned and thanked him.

"I have to tell you something, Y/N." Peter gulped. He figured it was time to tell her. They were alone together and neither of them could walk out due to the storm.

"What is it?"

Peter took a deep breath and said, "I'm Spider-Man."

Y/N stared at him and smiled, "That's cute, Pete. I'm Spider-Man too. Anyone can wear a mask."

"No, no, no. I mean it, Y/N." Peter sighed. "I really am Spider-Man."

"How am I supposed to believe you, Peter?" She raised an eyebrow.

"One, because I believed you when you told me about your powers. Two, I lowkey showed you." Peter said.

"I used my super strength to pick up the heavy box, I used my web fluid for your paper and told you it was glue, I told you that I loved helping people-"

"Helping people isn't a power, Peter. It's a choice and the web fluid thing sounds wrong."

"I also used my enhanced reflexes and agility to catch you when you slipped at the cafeteria. I'm Spider-Man." Peter added. Y/N stared at him and said nothing. "Please say something, Y/N."

Y/N blinked a few times and cleared her throat, "Well, thanks for telling me. I'm just mostly embarrassed because you know about my big crush on Spider-Man and YOU ARE Spider-Man."

"Oh, right." Peter blushed. "I forgot about that."

"And please continue to forget about it." Y/N chuckled lightly. "Anyway, let's talk about something else. What's it like being the friendly neighborhood hero?"

"Oh, you have no idea how hard it is. But I love my job." Peter said.

The rest of the day was spent with Peter talking about his patrolling stories and Y/N showing off her powers and Peter also showing Y/N his wall-crawling ability. He even showed her his web-shooters.

"I can show you my web-shooters!" Peter said excitedly.

"You know, no matter what you call it, it really sounds wrong." Y/N laughed. "It's like you're going to show me your penis or something."

"I never thought I'd hear you say 'penis'." Peter looked at her.

She shrugged, "What can I say? I'm surprising."

"That's true." Peter nodded in agreement as they smiled at each other.

* * * *

sorry it took a long long time x

𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @myblueleatherbag @harryismysunflower @buckys-little-hoe @justanothermarvelmaniac @itstaskeen @sandystoriess @heeeyitskay @slytherin-chaser @quaksonhehe @yaya4302 @lil-mellow-bunbun @starlight-starks @swiftmind​ @alex-stancati @sovereignparker​

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @petersholland​ @osterfieldnholland​ @miraclesoflove​ @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​ @perspectiveparker​ @hollands-weasley​ @itstaskeen​ @call-me-baby-gir1​ @the-panwitch​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @chloecreatesfictions​ @holland-styles​ @halfblood-princess-505​ @spidey-reids-2003​ @herbatkazmiloscia @whatthefuckimbisexual​

[seapandora]

Illusion Part 2

Illusion｜Part 2/?

Bucky x oc!Lori

Warnings: Angst, betrayal, swearing, torture, (suicide is mentioned once), violence

A/N: So here´s a very late part 2. I´ve decided to put the total number of chapters as a question mark for now seeing as I don´t think I have the potential to post chapters that are 10k. I just don’t have the time or backstrength to revise 10k words in one go. So there will be more and shorter chapters instead. I hope you guys like it! Don’t forget to check out part 1! And share/comment/like if you enjoyed! GIF-cred to owner! Oh, and I'm doing tag lists now! Send me a message if you want to be on it! Chapters 3, 4, and 5 should be up soon at least, I'm currently on a bit of a break, but once I'm back I'll have more time to revise and write!

Summary: Reader is a supersoldier, one of a number, one of nine. Hydra´s backup for the asset. The group was started in 1974 and has been working under the radar, training for the day when the asset no longer exists. Y/N is the only one left. Left in a cryo, she wasn’t discovered until 2023 when a certain captain and his buddy found her.

Words: 6077

Taglist: @selfsun​

2024

Four weeks had passed since Lori arrived at the compound from Wakanda. It had been three months, more or less, since she was thawed out from her cryo-sleep. She felt more at home in the compound and she felt more comfortable with the rest of the team. It was now October. Autumn had brought clouds, and rain. The world was silent and didn’t have much need for the Avengers at the time. Lori had been wih the team on two missions so far. Neither was very dangerous. They hadn´t faced any serious enemies, and she had yet to fire her weapon at an enemy.

It had been made clear that she worked well with the team. Bucky and her were synchronized on a different level, and she worked well with Sam as well. The two could joke around and have fun on the missions, without it distracting them. Lori had also begun to talk more with Bucky, but she was still set on calling him James. They would have all meals of the day together, unless Bucky was away on a mission. And if he was Lori would eat on her own. The other agents working with them had big issues with yet another super-soldier. Someone who had worked for Hydra. They didn’t want a redo of what had happened with Shield.

Lori could understand them. She had spent countless evenings reading up on the Avengers,  and anything involved with them. She had started as far back as Steve and Buckys time in the army. She adored the man Bucky had been back then. She adored how willing he was to follow his captain, even give his life for him. She could see a shadow of that man still in him. But years of punishment and pain from Hydra had changed him.

Next she had researched Shield. She had found out about Peggy Carter and the Starks. Of course she knew of the Starks. She had been set to step in, should Bucky fail to take their lives.  He had been successful, as the whole world knew, and Lori had been kept secret from the world. The day after Christmas the same year she had ben put in the cryostasis chamber and forgotten. Her reasearch had taken her through the 90´s and early 2000´s. She had read files on all the former Avengers during the timeperiod and had asked Sam and Bucky to fill in where the files didn’t have answers.

Lori avoided tabloids and articles surrounding Shield, Hydra and the Avengers. She preferred facts over debates. Her days were spent in the filing rooms where she could find information. Sam and Bucky often tried to drag her out of the room, for runs or an hour in the gym. Sam didn’t always like running with Bucky and Lori, but he appreciated when they altered their pace to adjust for him. That way he didn’t feel like he was always left behind.  

Lori had become a very good friend to Sam. He trusted her, and she was hardworking. Something he appreciated. She was also good with him, and Bucky, joking around a lot. They could be harsh with each other, but Lori didn’t seem to bother, or be too concerned about their joking. She had joined in a few times anyways. Lori liked the banter and joking. The relationship she had with the two men was so open and she felt happy around them. Happiness, that was an interesting feeling. It had been long since she felt happy and it had scared her in the beginning, but not anymore.

It had been a slow afternoon as Lori was buried in piles of files and boxes. She wanted as much details as she could comprehend about the past 30 years of the Avengers, Shield, and Hydra. She was trying to find out why Hydra had left her all alone in the bunker. The answers were no where to be found. Up until she was found, she didn’t even seem to exist. Searcheds for her name had turned up nothing. No articles, reports, or anything online or in the files.  Never had she felt so alone, so unwanted.

Bucky stuck his head through the door and cleared his throat to make Lori aware of his presence. “Hey, it´s almost 8, you wanna come up and eat with us? It´s movie night,” Bucky explained and walked over to her, looking over her shoulder at the files. He moved some of them finding a picture of himself from the 1940´s. He was in a dark blue coat with a rifle in his hand. He froze as he saw the smiling man in the picture. That was 80 years ago, give or take.

Lori looked up at him and frowned. “Let´s go James,” She said and patted his arm before she walked to the door, and turned the lights off. Bucky followed her once he had put the picture down. “Have you found out anything more?” He asked her as they came out into the light of the corridor, walking towards the elevator. Lori shook her head and sighed. “It´s like I don’t exist at all. My birth certificate is there but nothing from that point. No information, no articles, absolutely nothing. It´s like I just ceased to exist.” She muttred.

“Did you try to look up your mother or friends?” Bucky asked. “I tried at least, she either died or changed her name, same goes with my friends.” She shrugged. It had pained her in the beginning but not so much anymore. She had never forgotten her mother, but during her time in Hydra she had stopped thinking about her in order to keep her thoughts safe and free of want and longing.

Bucky nudged her as they walked. “If you don’t stop spacing out on me, I´ll have to bring Wanda to see whats going on in that head of yours,” he teased her. They took a turn to the right, into the kitchen. Lori laughed and shook her head. “No sorry. I´ll try not to space out anymore today” she promised and smiled at Bucky. He laughed with her and sat down by the kitchen island pulling on a carton with pizza in it. “Care to share Lori?” He asked and slid the pizza-box a bit to his right where Lori sat down.

“Is it regular pizza? Or the superior Kebabpizza?” She asked. Of course she had decided to catch up on some Swedish history from the years she had missed. One of the things she had missed was something called a Kebabpizza. She had gone to the nearest pizzeria and asked for one. She had paid a fine prize for it but she had loved it.

Bucky had been terrified when she told him about it, Sam too. They hadn´t been as terrified as when they saw her gulp one whole Kebabpizza in one go, but rather, impressed. “I´m sorry, Americans have done much. But we didn’t start, whatever the hell, that amazing pizza is. But yes it´s Kebabpizza for the miss. Now come here and eat,” Bucky said and pushed the stool besides him out for her.

Lori sat down besided him and grabbed a slice of the pizza for herself. She grabbed a soda can as well and held it out for Bucky to open, which he did without question. The two had really learnt how to work in harmony. It was easier now that Lori had become more used to them all, and more open to being around them as well. “So Wanda, whats on tonight?” Lori asked and looked over at the one she was the closest too, apart from Bucky and Sam. Wanda shrugged and smiled at her. “I was planning on seeing Skyfall, it’s a Bond-movie. They were a thing when you were younger right?” Wanda asked.

“So old mister Connery is still in business?” She asked and raised an eyebrow at the people in front of her. They all seemed to be very confused. “What? He isn´t dead is he?” She frowned and looked to Sam, her go to for information about celebrities. “I don’t know about that, but you must have missed out on a lot of Bond movies, Connery´s last was in 71. Roger Moore took over from 73,” Sam explained as he looked at her. “Right now, well up until recently, the role was played by Daniel Craig, I think you´ll like it” he continued and smiled.

Bucky patted her arm. “Relax, when I came too there was something called cellphones. I think you can handle a different Bond,” he teased her and chuckled. She shrugged but gave in and nodded. “I´m sure this Daniel guy is good, as long as he´s good looking the plot is less important,” she explained. All the James Bond movies she had seen had more or less the same plot.

“Incoming call from Peter Parker,” The disembodied voice of Friday sounded through the kitchen making all four of them look up in confusion. Peter hadn´t called since one of Lori´s first days and as far as they knew he was away, working in Europe or so. There was no reason for him to call the avengers, so why was he?

Sam picked up the call quickly and announced all of their presence for it. “Okay so I just got back from Europe two days ago, and apparently there was this dude waiting for me here in New York. Like he doesn’t know who I am but he has beef with Spider-Man I suppose, and yeah that’s me. But I can´t shake him off, and I don’t want to lead him towards May, so you know… I kind of need a bit of help,” the young man all but shouted into the phone. Friday thankfully lowered the volume of the call.

Sam had taken a visible step back at Peters voice and let out a breath. “Hey, relax man. Where are you? We´ll come out, meet you, and lead whoever is hunting you away from May and New York City okay?” He said and crossed his arms over his chest. They could all hear how hard Perers breath was as he swung through the city. “Uhh, yeah sure, I´m swinging back and forth across 5th. North and south, it’s a weird monster,” he explained before the call was cut right then and there. “Okay team, suit up. Jet leaves in five minutes, chop chop.” Sam said and ran off to the weapons room with Bucky and Lori while Wanda ran off to her room to get her famous coat. So much for movie-night, Lori thought.

Bucky and Lori arrived in the weaponry first considering they were faster than Sam. They grabbed their guns from the shelves and made sure they were all loaded and ready to go before they grabbed extra ammo. Lori also grabbed some of Natashas widow bites. They could always come in handy and they were small, hence not  ahindrence to her. She grabbed the Captains shield and tossed it to Sam before she looked over at Bucky seeing him strap on his M249.

There was something beautiful and calming about it to Lori. She had seen him get ready before, but it never ceased to amaze her. He made it seem so easy, as if it was just an extension of him, a part of him. She had always worked to be as good as him with weapons. But she wasn’t nearly as good.

1972

She had been locked into her little cell once more, and she didn’t know how long she had been there. She was guessing weeks by now. Before the experiments she had received food twice a day, now she hadn´t received food in forever, and yet she wasn’t hungry. Not much anyways. The room was as cold as it had been before but it wasn’t affecting her anymore. The clothes she had gotten helped keep her temperature up. She had seen some changes in her body, her muscles had grown and were more defined now.

The door to her cell was unlocked and she looked up from her corner. There wasn’t any food with the men and they attempted to pick her up but she kicked and punched her way out of their grips. They held up their guns and she raised her hands. She didn’t want to fight them, but she could walk on her own. They grabbed her by her arms but allowed her to walk. They guided her and they weren´t very gentle with her but she didn’t care as she was taken into an open room with a strange-looking machine in the middle.

A man sat in the chair. He was breathing hard. The men holding her pulled her towards the other side of the room and through another door. There was a table laid out which they strapped her too, tightly. They hadn´t used belts this time, but handcuffs and wires instead. Of to her right side she could see windows, but they looked to have been covered up from the outside. Streams of cold air could still be felt from that side of the room. When Lori turned her head to the right she could see a large number of machines. Machines she would have never been able to name, or explain the use off.

Someone took a hold of her head and tied something over her throat, and then over her forhead, stopping Lori from moving her head side to side. She tried to scream but her mouth was stuffed by something she hadn´t seen and therefor couldn´t identify. She could still make noise, but it was muffled by whatever was in her mouth. They attached something to the wires around her and she could feel something biting into the skin of her right arm. As something dripped down her arm she realized they had cut her arm open with a knife.

She tried to move, but she was so tighlty strapped in that she ould only move her chest up and down. She screamed and tears rolled down her temples. Maybe the man she had seen in the bigger room would hear her. Maybe he would help her if he could hear her. She was silenced by a powerful shock going through her body. She stopped thinking and couldn’t see for a moment. It was over as quick as it had come over her, and she was struggling to catch her breath.

Lori´s body was on fire. The cool air from the windows did nothing to help her. She could feel the wires around her wrists and ankles, they were burning her skin. Even if she couldn’t see, she was certain the wires would leave marks on her skin. Lori cried out again as the next shock went through her. She wasn’t aware of how long it lasted as she passed out from the pain and shock. What had she done to deserve this? Why were they torturing her?

Her cell was where she woke up. The first thing she did was to look for the marks around her wrists and ankles, and sure enough, there they were. Bright red, and bloody from where she had kicked and strained against them. She touched them gently and whimpered. They were painful, but her head was hurting worse. She didn’t have any memory of what had happened. All she could remember was when she was strapped to a table with belts. But that couldn’t have been this day, it had to have been a long time ago. Belts wouldn´t leave her wrists bloody.

2024

The thing, or monster rather, that was chasing Spider-Man was almost too much for the team to handle. Peter had worn it out a bit though with his constant swinging back and forth. The jet landed on one of the roofs and the four avengers got off as Peter also landed on the roof. “Hey guys, so I don’t know what this dudes problem is. But yeah I need help, and I need to lead him away… And…” Peter rambled and pulled at his mask without taking it off.

“Hey kid, relax. Why don’t you sit tight and we´ll get a look on things,” Bucky said and patted Peters shoulder before leaning over the edge to look down at the streets, and then towards the next roof. He glanced back at Lori and smirked. “How do you feel about jumping?” He asked and backed up on the roof before he took off and jumped over to the next roof. It wasn’t terribly far and it was lower than their current roof. Lori chucked to herself and jumped after him. She rolled into the landing and looked up at Bucky. “Now what? The thing is huge…” She mumbled and placed her hands on the guns by her hips.

If she had more time before they left, she would have tried to alter her bullets and incorporate the widow bites into them. That way they could have worked from the inside of the monster, rather than just the outside. She sighed as she thought about it, but screamed as a large hand picked her up. She tried to grab her guns but couldn’t because of where she was held. She managed to get to her knife however, and stick it in one of the monsters fingers. It didn’t do too much until she twisted it.

The monster released her with a roar, and she was falling. Buildings in New York city are high. It would have taken Lori around 8 seconds to reach the ground, thankfully Sam caught her by the arm and helped her onto the nearest building. “You okay Lori?” He shouted as he began to shoot at the monster, which was now going after Bucky. “I´m fine, we have to help Bucky.” She said and reached up to turn her comms on. “Wanda can you get a hold of the monster? Mess with its mind or something?” She asked her fellow female avenger and looked up to her. She had a habit of taking control on missions, something the others had learned during their two previous missions.

None of the others had seemed to mind. Sam was quite hppy that someone else took charge for once. Considering Lori´s background Sam was happy to have her around. He liked not having to make all the decisions himself. “I can try, I mean I don’t know how his brain works, but keep him distracted!” Wanda exclaimed and floated over to the monster. Lori got up and dusted her self off a bit before she pulled her hair into a bun. It wasn’t pretty, or cute. But it got the job done. She checked her guns to make sure they were still working properly. She didn’t want to blow herself up by accident.

Her guns were fine. She took the safety off before she shouted at the monster on the other roof. Her wish was to get its attention to let Wanda get close. The monster turned its head, and Lori began to shoot at it with both guns. It didn’t seem to do a whole lot, but at least she had the monsters attention. It started to come towards her and she frowned. “Shit, shit, fuck, shit, fuck…” She mumbled and began to back away. She kept her eyes on the monster until she hit the edge of the roof. She glanced behind herself. The others and Peter were watching her. Lori took a deep breath before she emptied the magaizines of her guns into the monster who was at the other side of the roof.

“Lori, what the hell are you doing?” Bucky and Peter asked through her coms at once. She smirked to herself and looked at them both. “Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith,” She answered and threw herself off the building. The monster came straight after her as she had figured it would. It looked over the edge into the barrell of Lori´s guns. “Hello there,” she said before she fired, the speed of the bullets knocking the monster back. The others stopped in their tracks before they too went at the monster. Asking about what Lori´s thought-process was, could wait until they were out and fine. The important thing now was to make sure the monster was taken care off.

Bucky and Sam shot at the monster while Peter and Wanda used their powers to keep the monster down. Lori reloaded her guns for the last time and helped Bucky and Sam shoot at the monster. She was in more pain now, and she had realized the monster had done more damage to her than she had previously thought. She was wheezing a bit as she grabbed at her ribs. They were painfully sore and Lori coughed to clear her throat a bit, which hurt her quite badly. “Fuck,” she muttered to herself and leaned on a structure on the roof.

Wanda held the monster down with her powers and Peter swung around throwing webs at the monsters hands and feet to stop it from moving. It took them just a few seconds to complete their goal. Sam came over to Lori and frowned as he noticed her flinch away. “Okay guys, get ready to leave. I´ll get some agents to take care of this. Peter, are you going to May or with us?” He asked and looked to the onesie-wearing man. Peter shook his head. “I´ll wait here for the agents to arrive. If he were to get lost I´m one of the only who can keep him down. Wanda could you stay as well?” He asked and looked over to the robe wearing woman standing a little farther off. Wanda nodded and smiled at them all before she soared off back to the monster.

Sam helped Lori stand up and she leaned into his side. “Fucking hell,” She mumbled and gripped her side. “Let´s get you back to Helen to check out those ribs of yours,” Sam said quickly and all but carried her to the jet for them to leave. Bucky followed them and kept an eye back on the scene they had just left. They got into the jet and Sam gently sat Lori down on one of the seats. Bucky came over to her with a first aid kit but she just shook her head. “The doctor can check up on me, it isn´t very far,” she said and leaned her head back and sighed heavily. Bucky nodded quickly and shrugged. “I´ll just get you a bottle of water and some super pain killers for now then,” he explained and left her alone for a little bit to get the water and pills.

Lori touched her side and gasped a bit as she arched her back in hopes that it would make the pain more bearable. She would be fine in just a few hours, unless the ribs were broken of course. How she hated broken bones. They were annoying, painful and just took so long to heal, even for someone with supersoldier serum. Bucky came back with the water and pills which Lori swallowed quickly. She coughed as the water went down the wrong pipe. She wiped her mouth and breathed heavly. “Thank you, Bucky,” she mumbled and looked down at her hands. Sam, who was steering them towards the compound let out a chuckle.

“She came around, now everyone calls you Bucky,” he teased his best friend. Lori smirked and shook her head as she leaned her head back again and closed her eyes. She missed the look Bucky gave her. It was a mix of happiness, terror and pride. He was happy Lori called him Bucky, but he was terrified seeing as it made him care more about her. At the same time he was proud at how far she had come from when they found her. She was acclimating to them all, and now Bucky as well it seemed. He looked away quickly to Sam who was smirking at him. He groaned quietly and made a face at Sam before placing his left hand on Lori´s forehead. She hummed in approval of the cold metal agaist her forehead.

“How are you feeling?” Bucky asked quietly and looked at her. She huffed and chuckled a bit. “Like a monster picked me up by the ribs and squeezed,” she teased him and glanced over at him. “Go ahead. Yell at me for my little suicide drop move,” she mumbled and took another sip of water. “I´m not gonna yell at you doll, that ain´t my style. Sam will do that when you´re better. But I´m curious. What where you thinking?” He asked and smiled softly. Lori looked at him and shrugged. “I noticed there was a ledge just down the roof, and I knew it was big enough for me to fall on it safetly, plus we needed the distraction. Peter and Wanda had to get a chance to bring him down.” She explained and shrugged once more.

Bucky shook his head with a smile. “Steve was just like that. Always ready to get himself hurt for others…” he mumbled and looked away for a bit. He really missed his best friend, the man he had grown up with and the man who had saved him more than once. He sighed and looked back to Lori. Of course she was special in his eyes. She was like him in many ways, and he just wanted her to be okay and be able to live a life in freedom. “Yeah, but he was always on the good side,” She answered quietly and furrowed her brows. While she didn’t see a monster in Bucky, she couldn’t help but see one in herself.

The jet landed a few minutes after midnight and Bucky helped Lori out of the back of it. He stayed by her side and let her lean on him, before Helen came up and offered to get Lori a stretcher. Being stubborn as she was she refused and let Bucky help her all the way back to the med-bay. Helen got her a bed to sit down on. “Okay, can you just remove your shirt and I´ll have a feel. We´ll see where we go from there,” she explained and stared at Bucky, waiting for him to leave so they could have some privacy. Lori stared at him too and it took him some time to understand he should leave. “There´s pizza left, I´ll leave you some,” he said before he left the med-bay rubbing his neck.

Lori laughed softly but flinched at the pain shooting through her side. “You know what, just get your shirt off and we´ll take some X-rays of your side, I have a sneaky suspicion those ribs are broken,” Helen sighed and went to get her X-ray machine. It was portable and she could see the bones straight away instead of having to print pictures out. Lori did as she was told and gently raised her arm up seeing some good bruising on her side. “Bucky gave me some super strength pain-killers on the jet. I´m not sure wether they´re working or if they just haven´t kicked in yet,” Lori explained as Helen checked her ribs. “Yeah, well they usually work within half an hour, so call me through Friday if they arent working in 15 minutes. I´ll prescribe you a dose. Don’t take more than 2 at once and only every 4 hours, alright?” Helen said and Lori nodded. “Okay Doc, are they broken? Do I need a bandage or something?” She asked as Helen walked away again. Lori pulled on her shirt now and groaned softly clutching her chest.

“They´re broken alright, but we can´t bandage it or anything so while I´m not gonna put you on bed rest, I suggest you take it easy the next few days or maybe two weeks. Your serum is a little different from Barnes and very different from Steves so I don’t really know how long it´ll take.” Helen explained and smiled at Lori before they both heard the low rumble of thunder. Lori was confused but Helen smiled to herself. “Mind if I join you guys for pizza?” she asked and Lori shrugged. “I don’t mind, but I cant speak for the others but I bet they don’t mind either,” She explained and frowned as another roll of thunder passed by. “That doesn’t sound like normal thunder… I better get back to the others,” she said and got off the bed she had been sitting on. Helen nodded and said she would be with them in a few minutes, she just had to report in the pills she had given to Lori.

1972

Time meant less and less to Lori every second that went by. Had you asked her how long she had been with Hydra she would have answered anything from two weeks to her whole life. Truth was she had been captive for five months. It was the middle of December. For Lori it might as well have been November or January, she didn’t know. All she knew was that it was colder. She had been training a lot more recently. They kept her locked in her cell when she wasn’t training or being tortured. Training took up five to eight hours per day. The torture happened less and less now than it had before, but she was still tied up and electrocuted now and then.

She didn’t understand why, but she could rarely remember much after each of those sessions. Or rather, some things seemed less important than before. She had little recollection of her life before Hydra. Over the past few months they had gone through her head and removed what was Lori. She had become a shell. A shell Hydra had filled with an assassin. Lori had undergone gun-training, knife-training and hand-to-hand-combat. With her enhancement her opponents rarely lasted very long and she got a new one every day to let them rest inbetween session. All to give Lori the best fight they could. She had seen the one she had come to know as the winter soldier a few times, but each time she asked to fight him she was laughed at and tossed into her cell.

After a few days she had stopped asking all together, there was no use. Something different had happened this day though. She hadn´t been taken to the room of torture, and not to the training room either. First she had been taken to a dance studio where she had been forced to practice for hours. Her feet were bleeding, her legs aching. But she didn’t show any emotion as the men forced her into a lab. She was pushed onto a chair and a metal arm was placed in front of her alongside some blueprints.

“Disarm it,” One of the men said and left the room locking the door behind him. Lori was alone in the room with just the arm in front of her. She stared at it for a second before she picked up the blueprints and went through them. It wasn’t clear what she was supposed to do but she began to tinker with the arm and soon had a plate of it opened up. The arm itself was filled with wires that looked like nerves. She frowned to herself and took a look at the blueprints again. She tried to locate the nerves that would disable the fingers of the arms. If she could get to those, the hand wouldn’t be able to close into a fist. It was a start if anything. She would have to disarm the arm from the elbow down to get it to be almost completely useless and that would be much harder, she soon realized.

She had just finished when the guards came back for her. With them was the man she had seen a few times prior. He was pushed into another chair and the arm was attached to his left shoulder. He was staring straight ahead and he didn’t notice Lori at all. Lori herself was taken into an adjoining room where her most senior capter stood. “Send in the agents,” he told his men in a perfect British accent. The soldat stood up as three agents came in. Lori could see him trying to flex his metal arm but he couldn´t, because Lori had done what they had asked of her.

The three agents went at the soldat, who didn’t do very well without a left arm. He was overtaken by the agents who eventually tore the metal arm off. The soldiers guards stepped in and executed the agents at the spot. Lori was taken to her cell, no word on wether she had done well or not. She guessed she had done well considering she wasn´t punished. There was no knowing with Hydra. She would never figure them out, she realized as she laid down on the bed in her little cell. They had at least provided her with two blankets, a luxiory.

2024

Thor had arrived with his brother in a heap of thunder. They had landed on the grass just outside the livingroom. Bucky and Sam had to hold Lori close as she got quite scared by the commotion. The two gods had introduced themselves to the newcomer. They had all shook hands, but Lokis lingered on Lori´s. “Aren´t you a trickster?” He asked softly as he tilted his head with a wicked smile. Lori knew more than any of her collegues about who the gods were. Hell they were a part of her swedish culture. Norse mythology was something every kid in Sweden learned about, Lori hadn´t been an exception. In fact, the norse gods and the mythology had been some of her favorite subjects in school. She had been the best in her class as well. At home she had had a number of books on the gods, well-read and re-read a million times.

Seeing the two gods was a bit of a shock to her. Of course she knew they existed, she had read their files, but she hadn´t expected them to be so big. They easily towered over them all, including Bucky, and Bucky wasn´t short. Yet Loki was at least half a head taller than him and Thor was even taller. Loki had his hair slicked back and was dressed up in a sleek black suit while Thor was in sweatpants and a hoodie. The long golden locks from the pictures Lori had seen were gone in favor for a more spkiy hairstyle. She studied them both for a while, in silence. Lori wasn’t normally a talkative person, less so with people she didn’t know. The gods just stared back at her and tilted their heads. Thor was the first one to break the silence.

“What´s your deal?” He asked as he looked Lori up and down, which to some extent felt a bit intimidating and uncomfortable. “What do you mean, what´s my deal?” She asked and crossed her arms as she stood in front of the god. She didn’t like his attitude. An attitude like that would have been punished by Hydra. “Are you a god? Do you have mind-bending abilities? Are you a former soldier?” Thor asked and frowned as he stared her down. Lori raised an eyebrow but shrugged. “I´m close to what Barnes is… A super-soldier, or something of the sorts at least.” She explained and stuck her chin out at the god.

She heard a swoosh go past her ear but she didn’t flinch or move. Thor smirked as he looked at her with a large axe in his hand. “I like this one,” He said with glee and everyone could hear Loki sigh. “Yes brother, you like yet another human, who is surprised…” he said and shook his head as he rolled his eyes. Lori was fuming on the inside, she felt slightly disrespected but she was also proud of herself for not flinching at all. Bucky grabbed her upper arms and pulled her back a bit. “Let´s go to the gym, take it out on me.” He said quietly and pulled her back. Despite what Lori thought, Bucky knew her better than she realized.

[doomedandstoned]

In Conversation with KOMATSU

~By Willem Verhappen~

Photo by Patrick Spruytenburg

For the past decade or so, super massive mothersludgers KOMATSU have been crushing eardrums and bulldozing down venues all around the world. While early releases of the Eindhoven, the Netherlands based band, like their 2011 self-titled EP and 'Manu Armata' (2013 - Suburban Records), display a relentless combination of stonerized sludge that lives up to the band's name, Komatsu always kept evolving and expanding their sound.

Their latest record, 'Rose of Jericho' (2021 - Heavy Psych Records), is on the one hand a natural successor to 2018's 'A New Horizon' (Argonauta Records), but surprisingly also introduces the listener to a more rocking side of the band. I had the chance to sit down with vocalist/guitarist Mo Truijens and guitarist Mathijs Bodt and after some chit-chat, we went to talk about the new record, the impact of the COVID-19 crisis and much more.

KOMATSU - Rose Of Jericho by HEAVY PSYCH SOUNDS Records

Last year, I was in contact with your bass-player, Martijn Mansvelders, and he told me you were impacted pretty bad by the corona measures.

Mathijs: Indeed. Our entire planning basically went down the drain. It started with the last bits of our recording process. We started recording during Carnaval [the end of February] at the Anker Studio in Eindhoven with Peter van Elderen (TankZilla, formerly of Peter Pan Speedrock). Things went very well and we were just at the point where we could start recording the vocals when COVID hit. Usually, there's always one of us present to oversee the process, but that wasn't allowed. After that you get into the mixing process, where usually the entire band is involved and in the studio. As you can imagine, that didn't go through.

Mo: In this case, it was mostly just me who was there. Also because we still had to do the vocals and the mixing of the vocals.

Mathijs: Right, and we got the mix-downs sent to us after which we had to write down and send in our comments. That took a bit longer than expected, but it worked out nice.But like you said, we had planned to release the record during the summer, do a Brazilian tour in September, followed by a release show, here in Eindhoven at the Effenaar. After that we were going to do a two-week tour through Europe. Initially the release show was planned for October 15th, but that got postponed until January, then early February, then the end of February, then the 12th of June, but thanks to the test events we can finally present our record, which was released in February, on the 25th of April.

Mo: What's nice is that this is certain. We don't know whether we'd be allowed to play on June 12th, but April 25th is certain. We found that we couldn't keep on postponing the date, so we decided that if we couldn't play then, there wouldn't be a release show. You can imagine that we're in a rush now with rehearsals, because we were thinking "soon", but now it's happening "very soon".

Mathijs: You have a point there. You're saying we rehearsed a bit, but we couldn't rehearse in our own rehearsal room. Even with the 1.5 meter distance and a face-mask, we weren't allowed to be in there with four people. I believe we've only had 6 rehearsals.

Mo: The good thing is that we're allowed to rehearse now, because currently we're a performing act. I've checked it with the authorities and it's allowed.

You already mentioned that Peter van Elderen produced the record. What was his influence on the process?

Mo: He has a good view on songs and regarding the vocals, while I had rough ideas, he really helped me improve them. He was a great help.

Mathijs: Of course we also have quite a history with Peter. Mo and Peter used to play in Repomen together and I used to be a roadie for Peter Pan. We know him through things like PopEI, Speedfest, Peter Pan, Repomen.

Mo: The circle is complete, so to say. And Pieter [Kloos] eventually did the mastering. It doesn't get more Eindhoven than that.

Mathijs: We recorded the previous two records with Pieter. That worked out great, but for this one, we wanted to try something different. Not because it didn't work out with Pieter, but we just wanted to try something different this time. Peter was heavily involved from the start and he joined our rehearsals and such. We recorded the record in just over a day and a half. Everything is live, with some guitar overdubs added afterwards.

Mo: We finished those overdubs just before the lock-down started, so all the music was recorded.

Mathijs: I think we spent three, three and a half days on the music, so that was a relatively quick process.

The album title, 'Rose of Jericho' (2021), is a symbol of resurrection. I can imagine that relates directly to your new sound.

Mo: Yes, there is certainly more variation and dynamics on the record.

Mathijs: The rose of Jericho, or resurrection plant, is a plant that can go without water for ten, fifteen years. When it receives water it pops back up as a flower. That concept really spoke to us, and that's why the instrumental title track has a bit of a western feel to it.

Mo: We really went for the desert atmosphere on that one. You can almost see the tumbleweed pass by during the intro. The track was originally meant to be called "Tumbleweed," but then I found out that Candybar Planet already has a song called "Tumbleweed." I still liked the desert idea, and eventually we renamed the track "Rose of Jericho."

Can we expect anything special for the release show?

Mo: We'll be playing all the tracks of the record live. In the past that wasn't always the case. I think a lot of these tracks will remain in our set. Of course we will revise our set when we're playing a real metal festival. We'll probably be playing more of our old stuff then, although the roughness is still there in the new tracks.

Mathijs: At some point you're starting to weigh your choices while writing songs. We want to be able to play them live, because we're still first and foremost a live band. That's where we really shine. This was also a period of reflection and we figured that we had fifty tracks on four records. You start listening to them in a different way and you come to the conclusion that we already have so many hard songs.

Mo: Martijn often says things like "This is a quiet song," but a quiet Komatsu song is still far from a quiet song.

Mathijs: We didn't plan on changing our style. It came together in quite an organic way, as a result of playing live, rehearsing and recording. The COVID period was also quite interesting in that regard, because Mo and I never stopped writing music, and we're currently at the point where we could start arranging songs for the next record.

'Rose of Jericho' is your first record on Heavy Psych Sounds. How did that collaboration come about?

Mo: Gabriele [Fiori] arranged a couple of tours for us, like the ones with Nick Oliveri and Duel.

Mathijs: The first tour after I joined the band was the one with Mondo Generator and he arranged the one with the Freeks, featuring Ruben Romano of Nebula and Fu Manchu. So we were already in contact and at some point we just called him.

Mo: Yeah, that was for the previous record, but for that one we ended up at Argonauta. Now we all just said, let's just do it.

Mathijs: It's really cool to be part of a roster like that, to be part of such a stoner family. Gabriele, one of the two people running HPS, also plays in Black Rainbows and to see how involved in the scene he is and what he does for the scene, to be a part of that is just amazing. We already had the connection through the stages we shared and the tours he arranged for us and this is just the next step. It's not the most logical step, but try and find a label where we perfectly fit in with our distinctive sound.

Mo: When we write music, we don't try to fit in the stoner, the metal, or whatever group. We just make the music we like. We don't have any rules from ourselves, telling us what we can and can't do.

Mathijs: In the end we just make the music the four band members like to make.

Photo by Patrick Spruytenburg

About that, what are your main influences?

Mo: The Melvins is a favorite of mine, especially their quirkiness. Of course there's a lot of stoner bands, but my roots are within 80's hardcore punk music. Due to the whole COVID thing I started collecting records again. I bought a new record player and now I'm searching Discogs for vinyl of records I used to love and used to have on cassette.

Mathijs: I think that I'm the biggest metalhead in the band. You [Mo] are the punk rocker, Martijn is the new-waver, even though he's also into old school hip-hop, and Jos [Roosen, drums]is a Tool fan and he used to play in Dreadlock Pussy. He and I went to the 25th anniversary show of Machine Head's 'Burn My Eyes' together. He's into that as well. He's also really into metal, but also bands like Helmet. I have quite a broad taste. I'm really into Cannibal Corpse, but I also like the Melvins. I actually met Mo at a Melvins show and a week later I got a call on whether I would like to join his band. The Black Sabbath influence is also clearly present on Rose of Jericho. That first riff is basically a Sabbath riff.

Mo: Sabbath is the mother of all metal bands. I saw Blue Cheer live at Roadburn once. It's slightly different, but from the same period, I think. Absolutely brilliant. They did an interview for the Top-2000 once, where they were still living in a house together, blowing and making music.

Mathijs: I also really like those genre-crossing bands, like High on Fire. They're metal, but also have stoner elements, together with some psych and some rock.

Mo: When I used to play in punk bands, there were set rules, but now I can do whatever I like.

Last question, did you guys discover any new music you're really into?

Mo: Absolutely, they've been around for a while already, but I recently discovered Helms Alee. They're a man and two women and they all sing. When they sing together it's just amazing. Mathijs also got me into Made Out of Babies, featuring Julie Christmas. I'm usually not a fan of female singers, but this is something else.

Mathijs: Yeah, I showed you the record she did with Cult of Luna. That's such an amazing record. Recently I've been listening a lot to a Finnish band called Oranssi Pazuzu, especially their latest record 'Mestarin kynsi'. There are so many different elements in there, it's really cool.

Mo: Recently I bought two Floor records. They've got three records, one that sounds like shit and two that are amazing. I got those on vinyl.

Mathijs: I'm also looking forward to the new Mastodon record. They made a record with the guy who produced the best Tool records and they say it will be far more sludgey, slow and doomy than their previous works.

The curfew is rapidly approaching, so I think it's time to wrap up. Thank you for this interview.

Mo: Thank you and see you later. Maybe later tonight in prison if we don't hurry up.

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[tripstaysnoided]

Flow Just Like Water

Story and writing-related transparency update and my many shames...

The Question on Everyone’s Mind

“Hey you haven’t updated No Stars over Uptown in almost a year...”

Hmm, I hate it when you’re right. (This section has been rewritten ad-nauseam to curb back the bitchiness by the way)

So back in early/mid 2018, the idea was to divorce Uptown from a person who influenced it (and myself) heavily. She was my most important audience member, the closest friend I ever had, and unfortunately someone who used her power to bully, ostracize, and hurt others with my help. I cut contact when the hurt + some self-awareness finally reached me. Apologies were made and I feel like my work will never be done with it, but there was still Uptown.

Between censored comments, entirely recasting Axel’s save, different plot threads, and a load of disclaimers, there was nothing that would scrub her influence from the story. There was no way to cleanly drop everything because of how deep her influence went. It disgusted me to look back at it, and I had to private the blog because I feared what it endorsed, even if just in the past.

I pulled back from that sims writing community. I had its main thread on the Official Forums removed too (I guess if that was a mystery to anyone). It was a surrender that I never wanted to do, but I had it in my mind that if I was gone, then she wouldn’t be there either. Uptown became this cursed item, and as I quietly retired it, I noticed that she went quieter too. Not gone, but enough to make me sleep easier at night and even occasionally say hello to old friends.

And I hope deep in my heart that no one else is getting hurt in my place, but now this is gonna haunt me all day huh!

The two paths forward...

1) Complete Uptown rewrite that I’ve been threatening everyone with all year. While it won’t ever be clean because I can’t undo time, I do have a sound outline for a story that is much more true to my actual vision and how I’ve evolved, with a few necessary boundaries in place that are going to be there for all stories moving forward: no more casting calls and no more collaborative efforts. I am not going to open myself up to this happening again, even if the people have changed.

2) Same as above, but I continue the original Uptown as a favor to loyal readers alongside the rewrite. I would try to put the effort into it that I initially did, but with no promises on an update schedule and no advertising. I did ask myself “is there Patreon but without pledging money, just the private posts function” but it could operate as part of a private forum, a members-only part of a website, etc.

Also readers of the original would be beholden to a rule of “don’t spoil the rewrite for new readers, c’mon guys”. I mean, not really, but it is a good courtesy to extend to people.

Priority on this isn’t high but you at least will see what is!

I will probably make the blog public again either way due to the many broken links on my Tumblr but we’ll see. There are other things to deal with as I shall list!

Where Life’s Been Regardless

Been spending more time with my grandpa every weekend. Life’s pretty good and he’s warming up to my dogs.

Shiny New Webbed Site

Cucumber Fields Forever is a site I own now. We have a full domain, cucumberfieldsforever.com, a blog with one post, and the framework needed to host stories the way I want to and still through WordPress. The functionality of likes, comments, and following should still be the same but you know...I’ll take feedback too...

The main blog still has an undefined purpose though I do have drafts sitting around about:

The maybe/maybe not hoax band that was on the Metal Archives and the history of Funeral Doom Metal.

The curious case of when Sims 4 babies get their genetics and my only collaboration (read: was talking about it with a friend and might quote her if needed, it’s actually a bit of a doozy)

Amazon.com’s fake dried udon noodles, an actual issue by the way.

Things I’m reading! (This’d be a monthly feature if so)

For the sake of unity, I am thinking of solutions for hosting old and shameful content there including Uptown and for the real fans in my followers feed, Eight Cicadas...a world I totally have plans for too (not really). I don’t want them to be front-and-center, and that’s why I mentioned forums/members-only content. I finally have that power! Maybe.

Ooooh but what are the costs? Not too much to handle, that’s what. 😉 (Like really, I don’t need any hand-wringing about this, I can manage my finances)

Project Queue (In Order of Confirmedness)

Outrun the Scythe: have you seen me post out-of-context Sims 3 pictures? Did you want more? Did you hope it was Linda in Custody? If the answers are yes, yes, and “meh, whatever you want”, then you’re in luck.

Outrun the Scythe is a Sims 3-based tale of a young gay man and his zombie grandma, as they are both offered separate roles of being the undying intermediaries between the world of humans and the influence of a race of space daemons. It’s pretty familiar if you’ve been following me pre-Uptown, taking some cues from stories I’ve kept under lock and key like Eight Cicadas, The Chains of Lyra, and the not-so-locked-up Ironstar Immortals (of which Outrun is just the direct sequel to sans any retconning...ah the smell of early 2013 and performative heterosexuality)

Ah, back to my roots.

It’s a hybrid of gameplay, story, and lore about my little race of daemons with a lot of my own idiosyncrasies that I’m not really ashamed of: basing it off a super-polarizing Sims 3 challenge from a site I moderate, using a lot of EA’s pre-made townies and their genes, lots of unnecessary posemaking, stupid references. It’s a comfort to have in my roster.

While the first few chapters are in the middle of revision, I have around six in the queue and will be making this public when I have ten. I’m guessing December then?

Undocumented Black Widow Challenge: I just did this for fun/forum kudos (yes, in fact I have joined many forums), there was going to be a short story but it was quickly becoming something against my code of ethics. I mean, sims die and all. (read: I had to choose between “heterosexual widow” and “widow with some same-sex marriages that still end in tragedy, reinforcing negative stereotypes to the public for the sake of me not getting bored and detached during gameplay” so there were no good choices. Except for her affair with the mailwoman, 10/10) I hope to finish this before October ends and get my medal on Boolprop, I’m pretty far through it all. I might upload the sims involved anyways. This is for TS4.

I mentioned it because it’s keeping me busy. But not for long!

NaNoWriMo 2020: Dipping my toes into that again! It’s not sims-related, just a tale of lesbians, nosy neighbors, a haunted beach house, and some light murder and kidnapping. And I actually got my brother to scout out locations for me this weekend. If there’s any demand, I can share chapters as the rough drafts are finished, especially for the sake of proofreading.

Not saying I’m publishable, but wouldn’t it be nice? Will keep me occupied for much of November.

Untitled “Dear Diary” Challenge: Tired of feeling left out of the fun on the Boolprop forums, their “Dear Diary” challenge was the one that appealed to me the most on first glance. Why? Probably once I found an idea that let it be set in the early/mid-2000′s to begin with and explore some interesting characters through diary entries (which I have mixed feelings on as a literary device but I think that’s just me saying “well I didn’t like Dracula”, yes you get bonus points for writing it like a diary)

Also writing is the one skill I’m good at across multiple games. Wanna hear me bitch about the cooking skill tree in TS4 or riding in TS3? I’ll spare you.

I guess I could have included “spending time on Boolprop with old and new friends” in where my life has been. It’s a nice lil community if also a place with its own idiosyncrasies as well. So it doesn’t feel like I’m promoting another community if/when I make a thread there for Outrun the Scythe, I want to have a couple chapters of this ready to go by Outrun’s release, though it’s not gonna be the highest priority compared to it nor as long because I think I can blast through the gameplay quickly.

This one will be played in TS4 due to it having the easiest writing skill/I dunno variety is the spice of life. And hopefully another December release.

Defunded or Forgotten?: Oh shit I actually released stuff in 2020 and told no one? I do have a “mortifying ordeal of being known” sinking feeling whenever I get a site hit because it’s not my best work (but good enough) and veered sharply into issues I may be over my head in, though I try to be a good noodle with research and listening. Maybe hiding is bad after all.

Being based off a very flawed and incomplete Sims 3 challenge I found in the annals of the Official Forums, there’s a lot of behind-the-scenes work just making sense of things. And I’m scared of working on reconstructing the house but I haven’t abandoned the project yet. The story has eight chapters so far and is pretty game-based with some additions here and there. Scared of how long it could be though!

Date for this unknown.

Untitled Sunlit Tides Decadynasty: another year-long abandoned TS3 project with a much stupider reason why. Last update was about Hua getting ready for her wedding, and I wanted to do some poses for a bait-and-switch wedding chapter because to put it mildly, her real one was an absolute disaster.

Blender decided to fuck up its interface again, I got discouraged (this probably does account for some of the Uptown delays too), and when I decided to plow forward, it was for other projects instead.

Meanwhile I played all the way to Gen 5′s teenhood and the only thing stopping me is time (it takes almost 30 minutes to load the file right now, though they’ll be looking at moving towns in a couple gens) and maybe fear of the Logic skill.

Date for this also unknown but it’s easy to pump out updates once I’m in the groove for it. My third heir had a difficult life so maybe I’m just trying to bury it.

Also I just noticed the view count there was really good and probably because I linked it here on Tumblr last year. Thank you so much guys. I can’t really fret over views on Carl’s forum these days thanks to the years-long death spiral pretty much every forum anywhere has been riding on. But it’s a nice surprise. And it’s an alright little challenge recap to read during your lunch break or whatever.

The Wawas

I figured I’d end on the real news everyone wants! Both the chihuahuas are a year and a half now and reached their adult size around a year ago. For the most part, they are happy and healthy dogs.

[madquerade]

In Questo Paradiso ne Scopra il Nuovo Dì (2/10)

Rating: m Ineffable Wives (female Crowley x Aziraphale) Major Character Death, tw: illness, blood Human AU, angst, hurt/comfort, smut, just a lil fluff but like... You can read it on Ao3 @ sherwhotreksings Chapter: one two three four five six seven eight nine ten

Paris. 1851. She’s not sure if she’s real or imaginary, the girl sitting on a chair across from her bed. She sees her though: dark hair, golden brown eyes, dressed in white, Azira’s sister. She can’t be sure anything is real at this point. The only thing she knows for sure is that she’s home now and she’s dying.

~

This is just La Traviata but with the wives. I'm sorry. Antonia is a Parisian courtesan caught up in the intricacies of French society until a young madame, Azira, disrupts her whole world.

Scene 1

A/N: I definitely meant for this to be a short scene outside of what the opera shows, but it turned into 2000 words of smut... so... enjoy?

Azira is charming and sweet and everything Antonia didn’t know she dreamed of. They’ve met every day this week… and the previous, and on and off for the last month. Which is why when Azira leans in she can’t help but kiss her. The smell of her cologne is intoxicating and winds its way through her senses. It fills her lungs and replaces the oxygen there. Somehow she’s able to breathe better this way. Azira’s hands find their way to her hips, steadying her body.

Thankful for the privacy of her sitting room, she pulls herself off of Azira, flustered by her own forwardness. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” Antonia dabs at her chest and face with her handkerchief.

Hands falling to her sides, Azira steps back from Antonia, giving her space. “I don’t mind. I was quite overcome, myself.” A light blush spreads across Azira’s face and she hooks a finger in her collar, giving it a tug.

Antonia reddens in response. Everything in her body is urging her forward to Azira’s lips though she knows it’s a terrible idea. Forward to Azira’s hips. Forward to her bedroom. Forward to her future. Forward to her fate.

Antonia gives in.

She reaches towards Azira, grabbing her lapels and pulling her in. Azira kisses her back, but whether from the shock at her sudden movement or impropriety, she keeps her hands planted firmly on Antonia’s hips.

Antonia breaks the kiss, bringing her lips up to Azira’s ear to whisper, “It’s alright, ma cherie[1].” She takes Azira’s hand and slides it up, leaving it on her ribcage, hoping to relieve some of the ever mounting tension. She returns her lips to Azira’s and can feel Azira relax into her.

Azira’s hands glide across her body, pressure strong enough to be felt through the fabric of her dress and stiff corset. As Antonia deepens the kiss, Azira’s fingers skim across her shoulder, tracing the line of her collarbone with her thumb. Antonia’s never been more grateful for the current evening gown trend of a low cut neckline and off the shoulder sleeves. Each stroke of Azira’s thumb is like a bolt of lightning to her heart. The electrical current races through her body and settles deep in her core.

She lets her teeth scrape of Azira’s bottom lip, enjoying the little jolt in reaction. Her heart sinks as Azira stops kissing her. Was that the wrong thing to do? But Azira wraps her arms around Antonia and pulls her even closer, leaning down to kiss and suck her way across the line she was tracing with her thumb. Her heart picks back up again as she decides it wasn’t.

Antonia lets out a sigh of delight, hands moving down to grip Azira’s forearms, grounding her to the moment. Her fingernails dig into her skin, urging Azira on. Azira nips the spot she was previously kissing and Antonia jumps, squirming in her arms.

“That’s visible.” Antonia cranes her neck to see if there’s any early indication a mark is going to form. It’s not proper of her to go to work bearing the markings of another lover, much less be in society with such a clear indication of last night’s activities.

Azira nods an affirmation, lust making her eyes glow. If Antonia was with anyone else she would worry whether Azira actually intends on following directions, but she knows Azira won’t do anything Antonia doesn’t want her to. Antonia shakes off the thought that Azira might be the only person she’s ever trusted her entire self to. That’s too strong a thought for her to handle right now. Instead she guides her mind back to the way Azira is kissing across Antonia’s skin.

Antonia moans and tips her head to the side to give Azira easier access. Azira responds with a moan of her own and tries to press her hips into Antonia’s, but is foiled by her dress. The damned thing doesn’t offer either of them any relief. Azira, breathing heavily, manages to pull herself off Antonia, and gives them both time to catch their breath.

Chest heaving, Antonia reaches behind her back to unhook the clasps that keep her dress on. Once she’s undone enough of them that it could slip over her petticoats and corset, she holds the neckline up, hands pressed flat to her chest, not quite ready to let it go.

“Antonia,” Azira says, almost like a warning, somewhere in the back of her throat.

She doesn’t have to say the words for Antonia to know what she means. If she does this, if they do this, there’s no going back. She wants that more than anything, but what waits on the other side is what scares her. How can she go back to her life as a courtesan after? Sure she lives for pleasure, but at the expense of what? Always pleasing others, never pleasing herself. Letting everyone take and take and take as she gives and gives and gives. It’s unpleasant to say the least, but bearable when shoved down. Merde. Antonia didn’t even know there was anything better out there for her until she met Azira.

Antonia lets her dress fall. It slips slowly down, pooling at her feet in a puddle of swirling, glittering purple. Azira’s eyes soften as she takes her in. Antonia wiggles out of her petticoats, letting them join the large pile on the ground. She’ll regret the wrinkled mess in the morning, but there’s no time for decorum.

Azira hasn’t moved a muscle. It feels like it’s been minutes that Antonia has been standing almost bare in front of her. Her expression is so all consuming and tender that even in her chemise, corset, stockings, and heeled boots Antonia feels naked. She’s not used to having someone adore her. Antonia blushes and holds her upper arm, blocking her very present breasts from view.

“Mon amour[2], look at you!” Azira takes Antonia’s hand from her arm. “You’re beautiful.”

Antonia blinks back tears. Azira sounds so sincere, like Antonia is the first girl who’s ever taken her breath away. Azira slips off her suit jacket and unbuttons her vest, letting both of them join Antonia’s dress on the floor. As she works on untying her silk scarf from around her neck, Antonia moves to unbutton Azira’s pants, heart racing. She stops, though, as she realizes she can’t remove Azira’s pants until her shoes come off.

Antonia lets out a short giggle which stops Azira’s movements long enough to question her.

“Our shoes.” Antonia laughs again. “We’re still wearing our shoes.”

“I can fix that.” Azira kicks off her shoes and socks as fast as she can and guides Antonia to the sofa, nimble fingers making quick work of her shoes.

Azira pushes Antonia’s chemise up, hands skimming her calves and the top of her thighs. She lets her hands linger on Antonia’s inner thigh, fingers kneading the soft skin. Antonia closes her eyes against the sensation, hoping to remain on earth as Azira slides each of her stockings off, kissing her way down her calves. As soon as they’re off, Azira stands up, and Antonia pulls Azira’s previously unbuttoned pants off with her undergarments in one motion. Antonia brushes some of her disheveled hair out of her face and slides to her knees at Azira’s feet.

Her face is inches away from Azira’s lovely golden curls. She runs her fingers through them and slips one finger between her lips, gauging her wetness. Antonia is excited to see that Azira is already slick enough to slip a finger inside. Azira moans loudly and her knees buckle just a little, hand gripping Antonia’s shoulder hard. With a little prompting, Antonia gets her to spread her legs a little more and adjusts herself to fit better between them.

Azira blinks back to reality as Antonia removes her finger from her warm center. “Antonia, mon amour, no.” She stops Antonia, mouth centimeters from where she wants most to be. Azira steps back and caresses Antonia’s cheek. “Not like this.”

Antonia swallows thickly, already trembling. Azira leans down and scoops Antonia into her arms, carrying her to Antonia’s bedroom, remembering the way from their introduction night. The door swings open with a quiet squeak and Azira places her down gently. It’s all so real. Standing there in front of her bed, clothes half off, Azira’s blouse hanging delicately above her round bottom, Antonia can’t help but feel all the emotions she’s been pushing down for the last fifteen years.

Azira turns back to Antonia, a shy smile playing across Azira’s lips. She reaches up and brushes a fallen piece of hair out of Antonia’s eyes. Antonia can’t stand it. She has to do something, anything, other than stand here with Azira looking at her like that. So she kisses her again, hands skimming the edge of her blouse, only breaking the kiss to lift it over her head. She runs her hands up Azira’s sides, coming to rest on her full breasts, sending little shocks straight to her core. She parts her lips, sliding her tongue into Azira’s mouth as Azira reaches around, fingers tugging at the laces of her corset. The corset falls away and Antonia’s breasts bounce lightly as they return to their normal position under the chemise. Azira quickly strips her of her chemise as well, tossing it to the floor with their other clothes. Antonia pushes them backwards towards the bed, falling on top of Azira as they tumble to the mattress.

Azira, unsatisfied with their current arrangement, growls and flips Antonia onto her back. “Tonight you’re mine.”

Antonia is familiar with this sort of statement. In fact she hears it rather often from her more possessive clients, usually followed by them using her as they like. However, she’s not used to what Azira does next. Azira shimmies down her body, sucking a nipple into her mouth and lavishing it with attention, and then placing gentle kisses down her stomach on her way. She settles herself between Antonia’s thighs and spreads her wide with her fingers. Antonia can feel how wet she is already by the slick Azira is spreading to her inner thighs.

Azira licks a feather light strip up Antonia’s entrance ending with a little circle around her clit. Antonia’s hands fly to Azira’s hair, finding purchase in her slicked back curls. It doesn’t take too many moments for Antonia to come from Azira’s attentive licking and sucking. Pleasure explodes behind her eyes, traveling to her heart and lungs. It knocks all the air out of her with a drawn out moan and gasp.

“Azira-” Antonia tries to speak, but is promptly silenced by a finger sliding into her core. The rest of her sentence turns into something sounding similar to nyygnk. After a few moments of the gentle pumps from Azira’s finger, Antonia is able to compose herself enough to try again. “Azira, you don’t have to do this. Let me serve you.”

Azira speeds up her motions, finger curling into the perfect spot. “I want to take care of you, mon amour. You’re so gorgeous, you deserve all the praise in the world.”

Antonia throws the arm not buried in Azira’s hair over her eyes. Never has that crossed her mind before, that someone might want to cherish her.

“I want to kneel at your feet for the rest of eternity.”

Antonia arches her back, thrusting her hips down hard onto Azira’s hand as Azira pushes a second finger inside her, moan ripping out of her throat.

Azira moans in response, pupils blown wide. “I want to make sure… make sure you know… how much you mean to me. Just say the word… and I’d do it.” Her words come out staggered as she focuses on keeping up her pace.

Antonia cries out, tugging hard at Azira’s hair as she comes for Azira a second time. She feels like she’s floating high above her body as pleasure spasms and courses through her. Tears roll down her cheek as she sobs silently into her arm, overwhelmed by the stimulation and the absolute tenderness from Azira. Azira’s thrusts slow to a stop, and as she removes her fingers Antonia feels distinctly empty.

Azira stretches out alongside Antonia, wiping her fingers on her own thigh and stomach before peeling Antonia’s arm off her face. She brushes Antonia’s tears off, quietly whispering soft assurances in her ear. After a light tug, Azira gets Antonia to fold into her arms.

Antonia’s mind feels empty as well. All thoughts are banished to another realm, as she comes down from her endorphin high. She feels safe in Azira’s arms and soon the gentle smoothing of her hair and Azira’s soft skin lulls her to sleep.

-

[1] A gentle term of endearment, “my dear”

[2] The most romantic term of endearment, “my love”