#and no one is helping him its so fucking funny

[karikarasuno]

part one | part two | wc: 2.2k

There’s a noise that startles you out of your sleep coming from downstairs. This house is old and it makes its age known by the constant creaking or thumping that travels down its lonely halls. It’s terrifying. But not as terrifying as the very obvious sounds of someone rummaging around downstairs. Who the hell would break into your house? It's not like your grandfather has anything of real value. So what was there to even sell once it was stolen?

Either way you have to do something about it. You refuse to be robbed and you refuse to be known as the woman who lives alone who cannot defend herself. Fuck that. So, you grab the rifle that’s stored in the safe your grandfather kept in his closet. The code is your birthday. You laughed when you found that out. 

As you creep downstairs– careful to avoid the loose step near the base– you prop the gun up on your shoulder and release the safety catch. You ignore the fear that pulses violently in your chest. You’ve never actually shot a gun before. 

The noises are coming from the kitchen. The space is illuminated by the light of the open fridge. You can’t see who is there or what they are doing and confusion begins to intertwine with your fear. What the hell?

“Where’s all the meat?” Someone grumbles. And your brow furrows because seriously who breaks into someone’s house to raid their fridge. Someone obviously deranged and unfamiliar to you when he pops up from behind the open door, a shadow casting over his face. 

“Excuse me,” you say, but you scare him half to death. He jumps and yelps which in turn frightens you. Your finger slips, pulling the trigger, and a gunshot rings out in the silence of the early morning. You scream when you hear an explosive shatter as you squeeze your eyes shut, praying to whoever will listen that you did not just kill someone.

“What was that for?!”

“Oh my god, I could have killed you!” You shout when you see him standing there, unharmed and clutching about half of the contents in your fridge in his arms.

“Not with that aim.” And he has the nerve to laugh. When absolutely nothing is funny. 

“Who are you?” You ask, your ears still ringing from the gunshot, and you briefly grieve the ceramic kettle you just shattered.

“Who are you?” He repeats, narrowing his eyes at you. 

“The person who lives here,” you say, annoyed that he has the audacity to question you when you know for a fact he doesn’t live here. Last time you checked you don’t have a roommate. But he could pass for a squatter if you looked at him hard enough.

“Oh!” He nods excitedly, something dawning on him that you can’t see. “You’re Jinbe’s granddaughter. He told me about you.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” you respond, placing the gun down on your dining room table. Your heart still skips frantically in your chest. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you,” he laughs again, gracelessly putting down all the food he was attempting to steal on the counter. “You look just like him.”

“I literally don’t.” You’re going crazy. This is a sign of you finally entering psychosis. This kid has to be your own unique sleep paralysis demon. Maybe you’re actually still in bed. You pinch your arm. No. He’s real. And you still feel insane. 

“Mhm, yeah. You have the same big head.”

You blink at him. As if you have something in your eye. Well maybe the blink is more of a twitch. “Why are you in my house?”

“I got hungry.”

“I see that, but I don’t know who you are and so I think it’s a little creepy that you’re eating my food in the dark at six o’clock in the morning,” you explain slowly, like he’s an idiot. But he’s somehow looking at you like you’re the one with two heads.

“I’m Luffy,” he finally introduces himself, adjusting his posture to stand up straighter and his grin is so big, so wide, that it takes up half of his face. “I’ve been helping out Jinbe with the farm since he was really old.”

“Got it.” He’s a farmhand. You’ve met some of the other guys that work the farm, but they never mentioned Luffy. “And how did you get in?”

He points to the key that’s dangling from his necklace. “Jinbe gave me a key and after he died I figured I would keep it. He always said I could help myself since I was workin’ for him.”

“Well, that’s rather kind of you, but now that I’m here just text me before you let yourself in. I wouldn’t wanna shoot at you again.”

“You betcha.” He salutes you goofily and now that your heart rate has returned to normal, you have to laugh. What a weirdo. “Wanna come feed the horses with me?”

You think about it. You have work in a few hours and you really wanted to get that extra hour or two of sleep, but honestly he looks kinda sweet standing there and waiting for your response. He’s so eager, energetic. Jeez, why can’t you say no to anyone in this town?

“Yeah.” You throw your hands up. “Why not?”

You move to follow Luffy, but he holds his hands up and you stop, bewildered. “You might wanna put on some pants first.”

“Oh!” You look down at your bare legs. Thankfully the shirt is long enough to cover your ass. Because otherwise this would have been very embarrassing for you. “I’ll be right back.”

****

The horses are stunning. They make you a little nervous, though, since you’re not used to being near animals this large. But Luffy is a natural around them. It almost makes you jealous the way he waltzes up and speaks to them. Like they understand him. 

“Here.” He hands you a basket full of carrots. “Start at the back of the stables and they’re supposed to get one each, but sometimes I sneak ‘em an extra when no one’s lookin’.” 

He says that last part behind his hand like he’s sharing a secret with you, but the volume of his voice doesn’t get lower. But lucky for him, no one’s around to hear him. There never really is anyone around anymore. 

“If I’m feeling charitable maybe I will too,” you whisper to him and he nods enthusiastically. He’s cute in an innocent way and you almost forget how you met. Pantsless and pointing a gun at his head. 

After you individually introduce yourself to each horse, feeding them exactly one carrot before looping back around to feed them another, Luffy comes running back holding a saddle. 

“Let’s ride!” Your eyes widen because no, you will not be riding a horse today.

“I really can’t,” you say, dropping the basket and waving your hands no in front of your body.

“Aw, come on! It’s fun,” he urges, unlocking one of the stalls to lead out one of the larger horses. 

“I’m sure it is, but I’ve gotta get ready for work,” you insist, stepping away from him and the horse and closer to the exit. 

“Only a few minutes! We can go on a run, it’s such a nice day out.” Luffy tosses the saddle onto the horse and begins cinching the straps around him. But you start panicking. The horses start to sense it because the one closest to you whines. 

“Really, it’s okay,” you shake your head again. “I don’t-”

“I won’t take no for an answer,” he says emphatically as he approaches you. And he’s being nice, you’re more than aware of this. But the idea of getting on that horse makes you nauseous. Your knee throbs with the memory of an injury that you’re still healing from. 

“Luffy, no!” You hold up your hands and he stops abruptly. His face falls at your tone and a pang of pity pierces your chest. “I’m sorry. I’ve just never ridden a horse before and after my injury the idea of horse riding kinda scares the shit outta me.”

“What injury?” He cocks his head to the side inquisitively. His eyes soften with genuine interest. With ardent curiosity. Ugh, why is it so impossible to stonewall people in this place?

“I used to be a professional ballroom dancer,” you sigh, reliving memories you really did not feel like unboxing before you’ve even had your coffee. “And almost a year ago during a competition I tore my ACL. I can handle most dances now, especially if I’m just choreographing, but I’m really not up to all this.”

You toss your hands in the air and gesture to the horses. Luffy is the last person in the world you would’ve ever expected spilling your guts to. Especially considering you’ve known him for all of an hour. But looking at him as he wears the dopiest, most sincere expression on his face, it’s hard not to. 

“I can teach you,” he replies simply. “Or we can ride together for your first time.”

“I don’t know.” His solutions still make you uneasy. 

“Or!” He jumps. “You can just watch! I’m trying to teach him how to jump over hurdles.” He points to the horse behind him. “And then next time I’ll help you bond with one of the girls. They’re usually better around kids.”

“But I’m not a child,” you argue. Obviously.

“Well, duh, but you’re scared like one. And that’s ok! We just gotta work on it and in no time you’ll be ridin’ like a pro.”

He steps back, but he’s not paying attention and he trips over a bale of hay. But the sudden movement and the flailing of his arms startles the horse. And in a singular blink of an eye, the horse is rearing back, hooves in the air dramatically before one of them knocks Luffy in the head. The horse rushes out of the stables and Luffy crumples to the ground. His argument is now null and void as you rush to his side frantically. You’re never riding a horse. 

****

“He’ll be okay,” Marco says. You learned quickly upon your arrival to the hospital that Marco isn’t just a fill-in bartender, but he’s actually one of the doctors in town. It isn’t even nine a.m. and you’re already over your day. And you have to be at work in an hour. You don’t know if you can handle any more surprises. 

“But as a precaution, I’ll give his emergency contact a call to come scoop him up,” he assures you, sending Luffy a knowing look. 

“Thanks, Dr. Marco?” You say stupidly, not too sure how to refer to him right now. 

“Marco’s fine,” he laughs. “It’s what everyone calls me anyway.”

He leaves the room and you deflate from exhaustion. You’ve known Luffy for three hours and he’s managed to give you a heart attack from worry and a headache from stress. But he’s sitting on the hospital bed holding a bag of ice to his head as if he wasn’t just trampled by a horse. His feet are even swinging as he waits. He’s literally smiling at you.

“You really don’t have to worry about me,” he says, beaming. “Happens all the time.”

“What the hell do you mean this happens all the time? How often are the horses kicking you in the head?”

“I just get hurt every now and again,” he dismisses you lightly. “But I always bounce back! Marco says I’m made of rubber.”

He winks at you. Like he’s letting you in on some inside joke. Meanwhile you’re starting to grow increasingly concerned about his wellbeing. How many times has he gotten kicked in the head?

“I’m sure you are, bud,” you agreed solemnly, not having the capacity to argue with him anymore. You’re just relieved that he’s seemingly fine. “But I’ll wait until your emergency contact gets here just in case.”

“He’s gonna yell at me again for being reckless,” Luffy rolls his eyes, taking the ice pack off of his head.

“To be fair, it wasn’t entirely your fault. That hay bale came outta nowhere,” you tease, sitting down next to him on the bed. Might as well get comfortable while you wait. 

“That’s what I’m sayin’,” he chuckles with his shoulders and you smile despite all of the turmoil he’s put you through. You feel bad for whoever’s on their way to come and get him. He seems like a handful based off of the few hours you’ve spent with him just today. But you guess he’s an easily forgivable handful with the way he sits rambling beside you updating you on whatever small town gossip he’s managed to hear. 

“Thanks for patchin’ him up.” A familiar voice drifts from down the hall. “Again.”

Your mind takes a second to register who the voice belongs to. But your body remembers. You completely tense up beside Luffy. A flush, hot and stunned, washes over you. 

Ace rounds the corner. As gorgeous as ever as he smiles at Marco. Appreciation and exasperation on his face. This really cannot be happening. 

“Oh, shit,” you mutter. Your morning really couldn’t get any worse.

taglist: @a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name @nico-ith @chillerkiller @jozhenji @starchild-unnamed @certain-tragedies

[lucydixon]

Dirt Nap

GIF by @sweet-dr3amer

Summary: You live in the house with Pelle and Øystein and find yourself being kept awake by a petty attempt at annoying Pelle after he and Øystein had a disagreement earlier that night. Caught in the crosshairs, you join Pelle for a stroll through the woods and wind up taking a nap in the dirt.

This is just a wholesome little one-shot, very platonic bestie vibes. I read somewhere that Øystein really did pull something like this irl and was inspired to write this

You heard Pelle’s door slam shut down the hall, wide awake thanks to Øystein’s scythe music, which he was blasting at 2 am. 

Pelle hated scythe music, and you all knew it, but he did it anyway. 

You weren’t surprised to see him from your window a minute later, wandering into the woods. 

Since you were starting to feel like you were losing your damn mind, you chased after him. 

“Pelle!” you hissed into the trees, glad you’d taken the time to put your shoes on to avoid trampling through the woods barefoot. There was broken glass all over the place and you found yourself hoping the Pelle had thought to do the same. 

Knowing him, you’d be plucking shards of glass out of his feet in the morning.

“Pelle!” 

“What!” He spoke far louder than usual, standing a few feet to your left. 

“Fuck!” you yelped “What the fuck! You scared the hell outta me.” 

“Well, that’s not good. The hell should stay on the inside.” He made a muffled choking sound, but you knew him well enough to know that it was really a laugh. 

“Yes,” you sighed, one hand still held over your racing heart, “you’re very funny. Are you wearing shoes?” 

“No.” 

“I figured.” 

“What are you doing out here?” 

“Same as you,” you scoffed “trying to get as far away from that fucker’s music as possible.” 

“He’s doing it just to bother us.” 

“I know. He’s such an asshole.” 

“I was going to bury myself in the dirt.” He told you in that soft, haunting voice of his, “Do you want to come?” 

“Sure,” you threw your hands out at your sides, following him deeper into the trees. “Might as well.” 

You almost tripped over him when he abruptly dropped onto his hands and knees a half hour later and started digging. 

You gasped and stopped just short of tumbling over, grabbing onto the nearest tree to keep yourself upright. 

Instead of asking him why he hadn’t warned you, knowing full well that he wouldn’t answer, you joined him in the dirt and started digging with your hands. 

You dug for what felt like hours without stopping for anything. By the time you’d made a crater big enough for the two of you to squeeze into, the sky was starting to brighten and the sun was starting to make its ascent. 

You found yourself surprised that Pelle didn’t seem to mind that you were practically on top of eachother, but only had a moment to contemplate it before he started dragging armfuls of dirt over you. 

“Oh!” you’d gasped, stunned, but then willing to help, “I’ve never done this before.” 

“Me either.” He muttered, packing the damp earth over his limbs as tightly as he could, while leaving your side a little looser. “I had a dream about being buried alive and just had to try it.” 

The two of you laid in the dirt until the sun reached its peak. You’d both fallen asleep at some point. When you woke up, your fingertips were just barely touching. Pelle was snoring softly, just his head and one arm above ground as he slept.

His cheeks were streaked with dirt, and his hair was a wild mess. You had to assume that you looked the same. 

As you sat there, contemplating why the whole situation felt so comforting, you found yourself grateful that he’d let you come along. 

Pelle did not engage in much physical contact with anyone, and this was about as close as you’d ever gotten to him outside of tending to wounds or brushing past eachother in the hallway. 

Once you’d laid on the floor next to his mattress and stared at the ceiling with him, trying to figure out if he was maybe seeing something up there that the rest of you couldn’t. 

That had been the second closest. 

If anyone asked, you’d have to say that Pelle was your best friend. 

You wished he wasn’t. 

Only because you knew that he would leave sometime soon. 

Every morning, you popped your head into his room to check that he was still breathing, only long enough to be sure, then you’d leave him be. 

Sometimes he would be awake, and he’d wave you over to show off his latest find, usually a carcass of some kind. Others, you’d find him bleeding and offer to clean him up. 

Pelle had never been unkind to you for even a second. You hadn’t seen him be unkind to anyone really, even when the rest of you were screaming at eachother over just about anything, irritable after being cooped up in the house for too long in close quarters. 

You’d watched Øystein shout at him, trying to get him to engage, but he never did. Pelle always either walked away or stood there staring at something. 

When you started to realize that you couldn’t feel your fingers anymore from the cold, you started to wriggle your way out of the dirt, waking Pelle in the process. 

“What are you doing?” He looked up at you when you stood, shaking the dirt out of your clothes. 

“It’s freezing, Pelle. We should go back inside.” 

“We’ve only been out here a couple hours,” he told you, cocking his head to the side. 

“I think it’s been a bit longer than that.” You frowned, “Okay, I’m freezing, and I don’t know how to get back to the house, so you’ll have to come with me or I’ll get lost.” 

There was a soft huff from the dirt pile before Pelle pulled himself out, too. 

You stumbled into the kitchen, giggling at some point in the afternoon, freezing and absolutely covered in dirt. 

Øystein, Jorn, and Jan Axel were sitting on the couch and shot to their feet at the sound of you. 

“Where the fuck have you two been?” Øystein shouted, following the laughter into the kitchen, and the other two boys were hot on his tail. 

“We were supposed to be practicing-” He stopped when his eyes landed on the two of you. 

“Whoa.” Jan breathed, “What happened to you two?” 

“We buried ourselves in the woods.” Pelle grinned at them, his lips starting to turn blue, although they were hardly able to tell with all the dirt smeared across his face. “In the dirt like worms.” 

You didn’t look any better and were trying to hold your hand under the tap, but kept jerking away from the hot water. 

“You buried yourselves in the woods,” Jorn repeated back slowly. 

“Yes, we did,” you sighed, gesturing towards Pelle, who was now shivering. “Would somebody please put the kettle on, he’s gonna freeze to death.” 

“You’re both gonna freeze.” Jan stepped around you, the only one who seemed capable of formulating a thought beyond ‘what the fuck.’ “Go get in the shower or something.” 

“Pelle, you go first.” You nudged him towards the stairs. 

“I think I’ll just go to sleep.” He told you, moving with you anyway. 

“No, we slept enough,” They heard you mutter to him on your way up the stairs. “We both need to shower and get all this fucking dirt off of us. I think there’s a worm in my hair. Isn’t that fucked up?” 

You wound up in the bathroom together, showering in your underwear. You were going to get Pelle cleaned up first, but he was moving too slowly and wouldn’t do it on his own. Your teeth were starting to chatter, and you only had the one bathroom, so you turned the shower to a lukewarm temperature, told him to get undressed but leave his underwear on, and all but shoved him under the stream of water while shrugging off your own clothes and joining him. 

You gradually increased the temperature of the water and passed a bar of soap back and forth, taking turns under the stream of water. 

You were a little surprised that Pelle seemed so fine with you being in the shower together and thought that maybe you’d bonded in the dirt out there in the woods. 

The others went looking for you after an hour and made it up the stairs just in time to see the door open and a handful of mud-covered clothes get hurled into the hallway. You came stumbling out after them, soaking wet, in your underwear.

“What?” You frowned, staring back at the three boys frozen at the top of the stairs. “Never seen a girl in their underwear?” 

“Actually, that tracks,” You smirked, disappearing down the hall and into your room. 

“Do not let him put those filthy clothes back on!” you shouted over your shoulder, “I’ll be right back.” 

All three of them exchanged confused looks before taking a few steps forward, only to find Pelle standing in the bathroom, also soaking wet and dressed only in his underwear, combing through his hair with his fingers. 

“Dude.” Jan gaped at him. “Did you guys just shower together?” 

“Yeah.” He nodded absently, eyes trained on them in the small mirror. “She was cold, and I was taking too long.”

“You lucky fuck-” Jan cursed, but stopped when you reappeared, now dressed in linen shorts and a band t-shirt that was long enough they could barely tell you were wearing pants at all. 

You crossed the hall and let yourself into Pelle’s room before emerging with a bundle of clothes and a clean towel. 

You set them down on the sink and went back to your room, muttering something about going back to sleep after taking the cup of tea out of Jan’s hands. 

They watched you go with poorly concealed shock, still processing whatever the hell had just happened.

"Man," Jan whined, shaking his head at Pelle in solemn disappointment, "I bet you weren't even looking at her, were you?"

"Not really," Pelle shrugged halfheartedly, "No."

"What a waste." He sighed dramatically, lumbering down the stairs.

Dividers made by @saradika-graphics

[dsireland86]

Imagine if Noah bought for Christmas LED lights that active when you clap (if yk which ones I mean)

I don't think I have to write something more to it.

Cuz we all know why he would buy it...

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 oh good lord 🥵🥵🥵

Tag list:

@philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lacy1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @missduffsblog @bngurngheart  @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @dizzylmwahh @kenjipepsi1 @blackveilomens @chey-h @disappearintothegrey @jilliemiw86 @pathion @fear-its-beauty @an0mallly @potterheadquinn @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @montgomery-929494 @missduffsblog @lilcazy011 @Lonelydragonlady @Mattysbitchvic @athenexe @pipidoll @flowery-mess @bloody-spades

I rummage through the bottom drawer of my dresser, searching for the comic book that Nick gave me for my birthday last year just to prove him wrong about a scene in it. He's been arguing with me for days about, telling me I'm the one that's wrong, but I know I'm not, and I'm going to prove it to him.

"Dammit! I know it's in here," growling in frustration, flinging random papers to the side. I lift up another stack of crap and find a box wrapped in pretty red Christmas paper with a smashed red bow on top. I stop and think for a moment and then it hits me. "Oh, shit," I mutter, slamming my palm against my forehead, laughing at myself. "I can't believe I forgot about this!"

The idea came from an ad I saw back around Christmas time. It was a really dirty idea, and I wasn't sure how Y/N would feel about it, so I put the gift somewhere she wouldn’t find it until I was ready to give it to her. It was supposed to be a Christmas Eve gift, but we ended up going over to Matt's instead. I think about it for a moment and wonder if Y/N would actually be up for the idea. I'm hesitant and place the box back in the drawer but when the image of her flashes across my mind the way it does, I don't second guess it, but instead grab the box and head downstairs.

Y/N's curled up on the couch with the same book she's been sucked into for the last two days. Her favorite blanket is draped over her lap and she’s staring hard into the pages before her. Her facial expressions are priceless, making me smile at each one as I gaze at her. She's adorable, hot and feisty, all rolled into one pretty package that's all mine and every time I look at her I think about how lucky I am.

"Hey, babe," feeling my heart flutter the moment she looks up at me. "He good lookin', there you are. I thought maybe you got swallowed up by the deep abyss of junk you call your bottom dresser draw." "Ha ha, very funny," I reply, knowing she can hear the sarcasm in my tone. She goes back to reading her book.

"Do you know who the killer is yet?" "Nope." I sense the slight irritation in her tone. "Don't sound too enthused," I joke sitting down next to her and she sighs loudly. "The killer is about to strike again, and it's about to get gross and gory." "Should I be worried about how excited you are about that?" pointing out her enthusiastically rich tone. "Maybe," she peers up at me sinisterly. I stare at her deadpanned. "Gotcha," she giggles, giving me that beautiful smile of hers.

I can't help but lean over and kiss her, feeling the way she leans in closer to me, pressing her lips harder against mine. I slip a hand behind her neck as she slips her tongue into my mouth, softly rolling it over mine and making me want her. I breathe in deeply, pulling away before things get out of hand. "God, why are your kisses so addictive?" I breathe, resting my forehead against hers. Y/N shrugs and sits back, picking her book up again.

"So, is this the part where everyone gets all bloodied up and then fuck like horny teenagers?" I laugh, pushing the pillow away that she hits me in the face with. "Shut-up! It's not like that." "Not like what? All smutty and romantic with the two main characters taking off their clothes in every chapter?" I look over at her and can't help but chuckle at the cute, little angry face she's wearing. I tap her on the nose as she quickly turns away from me.

"You're so dumb sometimes," she mumbles, rolling her eyes, clearly annoyed at me. "Yeah well you're with me, so I guess that makes you dumb too, then." This time she snickers, and the sweetest smile breaks out across her face. "There it is," I say gazing down at her as she looks up. "Whatever," she mutters. "What's that?" she asks, nodding at the box in my hand. "Oh, uh," I laugh nervously. "This is a Christmas gift for you that I forgot about." "You forgot about it? How do you forget about a Christmas gift," she asks, lacing her arm through mine. "Well, I was a little hesitant about giving it to you." "Why?" I huff a small laugh and throw my hand to the back of my neck, rubbing it as a nervous tick. "Just open. You'll see."

Y/N gives me a confused look, but unwraps the gift anyway. Once the paper's gone, in her hands lies a box of LED lights that activate with any kind of clapping sound and send out waves of soft, bright light over and over and move faster the quicker the clapping becomes. Y/N sits there silently, staring at the box, trying to figure it out.

"Any idea," I ask? "Mmm," she stares a little harder, then shakes her head. "Nope. I have no idea. LED's are your thing, babe," she points out, handing me the box. I take it and turn it over, showing her the part I need her to see. As she reads it, her cheeks turn a slight shade of red, and she covers her mouth with her hand, giggling quietly. "Really, Sebastian! Really!" she cries, tackling me with a pillow.

I'm laughing so hard that I fall back the moment Y/N climbs on me, pushing me until I'm flat on my back and she’s hovering over top of me. I rest my hands on her bottom, gently squeezing the soft flesh beneath them. Her response to my touch sends the right kind of signals to my head and something inside me jolts to life. I hear my breath catch. She touches her nose to mine before kissing the tip.

"I love you," she says so confidently. Those words do something to me every time I hear her say them. "I know," I whisper. "And I never get tired of hearing you say it. Y/N smiles. Her nose brushes against my skin as she presses her lips against the skin of my throat, forcing me to hold my breath, afraid to leave this moment with her. "You really want to try those lights out, don't you?" she asks with her lips still pressed against my neck. I make a sound in the back of my throat, one that's mixed between a laugh and a swallow. "Uh, yeah, I kind of do," I admit, unashamed.

Y/N presses her core into me and heat fills my veins. She rocks against me slow and steady, each move a little harder than the next. I'm losing the battle of resistance, but I can't think, let alone try and stop her. She sits up and shifts until she's straddling me and her hands are pressed against my chest. I take a quick breath, fighting against the sudden rush of pleasure from the heat of her sex pressed right against my dick. She's making it no secret what she wants from me, what she wants me to do to her as begins to sensually rut against me. "You're tormenting me, Princess," I groan when she smiles.  "Then let's go upstairs and open the box. Then let's see who torments who."

I sit up, tossing Y/N off me, and scramble to my feet. Tossing her blankets off, I pull her to her feet and pick her up, throwing her over my shoulder and head up the stairs. "Wait, wait, wait," Y/N laughs hysterically, tapping my back. "The box, you forgot to grab the box!" Turning around I make a dash for the box I left on the couch, grab it, and practically run upstairs with Y/N still over my shoulders.

I've got the LED system of lights hooked up in a corner of the bedroom when Y/N comes out of the bathroom from taking a shower. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I'm focused hard on the instructions laying in my lap trying to figure out how to program the remote when I look up and notice her. She's in nothing but a towel, her hair, dark and damp, draped around her shoulders. She looks like something that's just walked out of one of my wet dreams.

"Well, don't you look delicious," I tell her. Blood rushes through my veins, hot and fast, making my erection slowly grow. Y/N makes her way over to me, a sweet grin that's driving me insane, lurking in the corner of her mouth. "Hi."

 "Hi," I grin, looking up at her. Running a finger down her arm, goosebumps appear over her skin that's soft and smells of eucalyptus and mint. Pulling her by the towel closer to me, I wrap my arms around her waist and plant my face on her tummy, breathing in her scent, deeply. Her gentle kiss on the top of my head as she wraps her arms around my shoulders and holds me has me feeling safe and protected. I sigh, resting against her for a moment. I finally pull back, just a bit, to look at her, grazing her bottom lip with my thumb.

"Did you get the lights working?" "Um, yeah," clearing my throat. Raising the remote, hoping my programming worked, I hit the "on" button and we both watch the firework style LED lights come to life. "Wow. It's actually really beautiful!" The light of the different colors reflecting off Y/N's hazel green eyes stirs every nerve ending in my body, forcing them awake. "And watch this," I add, clapping my hands together. The lights respond the way they're meant to and move faster the louder and faster I clap. "Oh, shit, Noah," she chuckles. Her amusement is obvious.

I place my hand on the side of her face and turn her head to look at me. Then she kisses me without any restraint. My heart pounds furiously in my chest as she wraps her arms around my neck and I'm overwhelmed with an intensely dark rush of emotion. The towel falls off her body, onto the floor, and I'm lost in the feel of her bare skin in my hands. "Noah," she mutters against my lips. "Yeah?" "You're still fully clothed." "That's a very good observation," I breathe, clenching my fists to keep from pinning her to the bed.

Her hands tug at my shirt, pulling it over my head. She leans in and kisses my neck, dragging her lips and tongue across the tail between the hand painted on my skin. My eyes fall close. There aren't enough words to describe what I'm feeling, what she's doing to me. Y/N's mine. She's perfect and she wants me and I'm not going to fight it. I don't want to.

"God, you taste so good," Y/N says as she melts into me, her breath quivering as she's pushing me back while still kissing me. I fall backward into the bed gasping as she searches my body through the fabric of my pants for the zipper that will give her access to what she wants. "Yeah? I've got something else that tastes better than my neck," I smirk, breathing through a tight laugh. She pauses and looks up at me. "What do you think I'm looking for?" I groan when she continues her search, arching my back to give her more room to search until she finds it and when she does it's like she can't take my pants off fast enough.

"Damn, someone's in a hurry."  "What can I say," Y/N smiles, climbing back on top of me once she's gotten me fully naked. "You drive me crazy, baby." Her words set my body on fire and before I can stop myself, I pull her into my arms and devour her lips. Her breasts are pressed against my chest and her pretty little clean shaven pussy is right on the threshold of slipping over my swollen length like a glove. Her hair falls forward, grazing my skin, as she takes my hands and slides them down to cup her ass. I groan, squeezing her and smirking as I swallow the sound, diving for her swollen lips again.

"Is this what you want?" I breathe out, my voice raspy. She dives back into the column of my neck, licking and kissing it rapidly. I moan again, louder, longer, against her ear and feeling her skin prickle with goosebumps again. "Tell me, princess. What do you want?" The movements of our bodies are harsh and needy and I think I'll die if she doesn't tell me what I want to hear. I take the tip of my cock, already dripping with precum, and place it against her entrance. Her fingertips dig into my shoulders as she moans, biting her lip.

"I... I want," she gasps as I push my tip slightly between her folds. "I want you, all of you, Noah. I want to feel you deep inside me. With my hands on her ass, I push into her, groaning and grunting loud at the feeling of her soaked walls sliding over my cock. I pull out so only the head is inside her, stretching her wide, then slam back in, her whole body jerking. Y/N cries out, gulping back a moan, as her hands find my hair and run through it, tugging and pulling. I can't hold back anymore. I don't want to.

Picking her up I toss her on the bed, rolling her onto her front. Once I'm behind her, I grab her hips and shift her until she's able to see the LED lights in front of her while positioning her exactly how I want her. "You're going to watch those lights light up like fireworks as I fuck you raw and hard, princess. You got it?"

Y/N releases a forced moan of acknowledgement. I push her down with my hand pressed tightly against the middle of her back while my other hand tangles in her hair and grips it hard, forcing her to look at the lights. I can't control the savage urge in me, my animalistic behavior coming out. I thrust up hard into her, forcing a scream out of her and begin to fuck her hard and fast. The sound of our skin slapping together starts off slowly but quickly speeds up the harder I fuck up into her, bringing the clapping lights to life and lighting the room up beautifully.

"Those lights are fucking beautiful. Look at it princess, look how fast they're lighting up as I fuck this pretty little pussy. You like this? You like it this hard. this fast?" I let her hair go and Y/N's head falls as she adjusts herself, bringing her ass up higher. She grabs the bed sheets, releasing desperate needy moans over and over. "Oh god, Noah you feel so good," she tells me, boosting my confidence. "You like this, princess? Are you strong enough for me to keep going? If not, tell me to stop," I say, panting hard. "I don't want you to stop, baby. Please don't stop. Don't stop," she begs. I pushed further into her, slapping her ass hard and making the lights explode over and over. It's empowering to see what I'm able to do to her.

"I love how you look right now, wet and bent over only for me. I could jerk off to this image for the rest of my life. You'd like that wouldn't you, watching me fall apart and make a mess, painting your body with my cum." "Fuck, Noah," she moans, clenching she sheets tighter. "I'm about to cum," she whines, gasping one more time. "No, no, I want to watch you come undone on me," pulling out quickly to switch positions.

Soon, I have her on top, riding me. "You're so damn beautiful, you know that," I tell her, kneading her breasts, pinching her nipples, and watching how she enjoys me being inside her. The noise she's making makes my dick twitch, making it throb as I hit that spot that's got her completely wrecked. The colorful lights fill the room, obviously working with the sounds of our loud love making perfectly and the way they reflect in the background paint Y/N's body in a sensually dark state, creating shadows on her face. She tightens her thighs around me, pressing her hands hard against my chest. Her nails dig into the colors of my tattoos as my throat tightens and I grit my teeth, fighting the urge to come hard inside her.

"I love you," Y/N says breathlessly. "Terribly. Like so much," lacing her hands in mine and pinning them on either side of my head. The way she starts grinding on me has me choking back moans. "Yeah? How much?" gripping her hips tighter. "Like a crazy fucking amount," she whispers in my ear, making me shiver. "That sounds dangerous." "It is," she nods, looking deeply into my eyes.

I reach up and kiss her, attacking her mouth like a starved man. I wrap my arms around her once she lets me go, holding her tight, holding her close as she makes love to me. It's no longer about who can make who cum first. It’s about pouring our love into one another completely. Her hands are in my hair, my fingers run down her back, and soon Y/N is panting, moaning softly as she lets go of my hair to clench around my shoulders, holding onto me and biting the skin right above my collarbone, as she cums hard, soaking my cock with her sweet tasting juices. It doesn't take long for me to follow her, filling her insides with my seed until it's seeping out of her and onto the sheets.

We’re both breathless, completely wrecked and fucked out of our minds. Y/N collapses into me, burying her face into my neck. "Up for another shower," I ask softly. "Only if you come with me, again." I chuckle at her reference. "Absolutely, princess. I'll come with you wherever, whenever you want me to.” The kiss we share is simple and sweet. I brush the hair out of her face and smile at her. "I love you." "I love you too," she replies, planting another kiss on my lips. "Do you like your gift?" referring to the lights. "You mean the gift you forgot about?" I chuckle. "You're not going to let me live it down are you?" "Nope. Wait till I tell the guys. Then it'll be worse." "Oh, god, no," I groan, squeezing my eyes shut while grinning. "Are you going to tell them all the details about how we tried them out, too?” standing up and walking toward the bathroom with her still in my arms "Only if you want me to." The mischievous grin spreading over her lips has me spinning out of control again. "Better not. They might like that too much. And you're only mine. You belong to only me." Y/N tightens her legs around me, hugging me tight. "And I love that. Yours," she mutters as we enter the bathroom. "Mine," I whisper," closing the door behind us and locking us inside, away from the rest of the world.

[sturniolo04]

I have

Singledad!Chris x Daughter!Madison , and its her prank him that she got a speeding ticket or a tattoo

A/n:  ofc! I absolutely love these requests I have coming in, you guys are amazing!! I made it into a small blurb I hope you love it! And remember to leave requests in my inbox! If you don’t like the pre added name in my works you can simply put in your own or don’t read it, it up to you :)-Charli

Dividers: @issysh3ll

Chris never really had rules in the household when it came to Madison but one rule that really was the dumbest rule of parenting history was that madison cant get a tattoo until she was 21. She was 18.

"Wouldnt it be really funny if i just got a semi-permanent tattoo to prank and freak my dad out and see what he does"

Madison blurted out to Nick who was sitting next to her in the car since they had gone to get coffee to get the day started.

"um i mean if you want to I would be down to help you out with this"

nick chuckles scrolling on his phone to look up the nearest parlor that does semi permanent tattoos.

"uh yes we can do it now is there a parlor close to this starbucks we are at"

madison questions looking around the parking lot they were sitting in. Nick clears his throat to grab her attention. Madison turned to see him holding up his phone screen with directions to the nearest tattoo parlor in the area.

"oh you already found one"

madison giggles.

"yep on we go"

nick chuckles out as madison started her jeep beginning to head in the direction of the parlor.

Madison ended up getting the semi permenant tatto behind her ear it being a simple rose which she couldn't lie was cute it made her tempted to just get it inked on her permenantly.

Nick and Madiosn walked back into the house to be met with the man they were looking for. Chris

"hey your guys are back"

chris exclaims greeting the pair as they walked over to the couch to sit down. Madison sat down next to chris specifically on the side that the tattoo was on he was bound to notice it soon be cause she had her hair up so nothing was covering it at all.

"yep"

madison squeals out as he brings her into a side hug. Madison fully leaned into his figure. Chris peeped what looked like a black mark on her but shook it off because it probably was nothing.

"what did you two go do"

chris asks the pair.

"we went to starbucks and i went to the tattoo parlor"

nick causually states.

"why did you guys go to a tattoo parlor"

chris asks slowly raising an eyebrow at nick.

"oh no reason i want to see if i want a tattoo but decided not to get one"

nick shrugs out. Madison let out a soft sigh 'pretending to stretch her neck' trying to bring attention to the ink behind her ear.

"madison what the fuck is this"

chris ask grabbing her chin slightly turning her head away from him to see what was behind her ear. there it was

"what are you talking about"

madison huffs out.

"madsion that better not be a tattoo"

chris scolds being to rub on the ink to see if it was a prank. it not coming off because it was semi permanent tattoo it wasn't coming off for a couple weeks.

"its not going to come off"

madison states softly feeling his finger aggressively rub on the design behind her ear.

"youre joking you better be joking about this... nick"

chris trails off absolutely fuming that madison made a decision that he told her not to make until she was 21 at least and mad that nick let her do it under his watch.

"what chill out she wanted one really bad plkus how can you say no to her like"

nick chuckles rolling his eyes. Chris lets out a loud frustrated groan placing his head in hands.

"im trying not to kill you right now nick"

chris quietly mumbles him sounded slightly muffled because of his head being in his hands. Madison and Nick make eye contact silently laughing at chris' reaction.

"Dad its not real"

madison mumbles out holding in her giggle as chris looks up at her with a sense of relief in his eyes.

"its semi permenant its not coming off for a couple weeks though"

nick chuckles out as chris lets out a huge sigh as madison continues to giggle.

Taglist🗂️

@mintsturniolo @spicymuffins03 @dirtylittleheart333

@stayingstromboli @wh0resstuff @ksturnz @chaoswithus @emely9274 @ivysturnss @sturniolo-szn2 @lezleeferguson-120 @courta13 @chrepsi @lyingonchris

@tezzzzzzzz @babytomatoes21 @sturniolosymphony @zenithsturniolo @bernardsbendystraws @sturnioloslut101

[queeriouslyollie]

ep 4: arms race

welcome to ep 4, i dont think i have anything to preface this with so just umm SPOILERS AHEAD

0:02:52 grizz (as runt): "dragon deez nuts across yo forehead!" troy: "dude what" grizz: "she didn't say that in character, okay?!"

0:03:12 troy: (to the dragon nuzzling runt) "dude she told you to STOP" troy proceeds to be an ass and almost kill blink (on accident but. like.) (the one time i really actually hate troy's actions, i forgot that he basically tried to punt a dog, i can't really defend him here. i mean he probably is really shaken up and has been thru a lot in a short period of time, likely lowkey traumatic, but like. still. its fucked up. i just ignore that he did this lmfao)

0:05:20 blink: "WHY WOULD YOU ATTACK THE DRAGON??" troy: "IT BREATHED FIRE ON ME!!" runt: "don't fuckin do that again!" blink: "yeah they do that, thats- dragons- dragons do that!" troy: "well-" bizly: "you know that" troy: "i know that!" (laughter ensues) blink: "sometimes it singes a little bit!" runt: "you're way too fuckin fast to- to resort to violence!" troy: (mid getting chewed out) "one second there's something shiny over there"

0:08:46 grizz: (just got done explaining the really cool shit runt got, after condi had talked about the cool thing blink got) bizly: "alright, troy?" charlie (as troy): "alright, that's a really cool sled" bizly: "so wh- what- what i-" charlie (as troy): "um yah i mean, i- im gonna take that" bizly: "just a sled? charlie (as troy): "yeah" bizly: "there's just a sled?" condi: "just a really cool sled" bizly: "is there like a.. a thing about it, specifically?" charlie (as troy): "um. i already told you" bizly: "that it's-it's cool?" charlie (as troy): "its a really cool sled" bizly: (hype voice) "alright, troy you find a cool sled! dude, and you know what- and you know what's crazy about it? its like, sick." charlie (as troy): "it is sick" condi: "it looks sick, yeah" charlie (as troy) : "dude, they got everything here."

0:12:02 runt: "so i don't really know how this would be possible, but if i'm reading this right, there's like a- a.. particle translator? basically it teleports you from one place to another" troy: "in english- in english!" runt: "yeah, it basically, you be here now, you step on the thing, and you are somewhere else, instantly." troy: "in english" runt: "you go somewhere else. fast" troy: "fine." (runs away)

0:15:25 blink: "you're kidding me- you're- TROY YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME- YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME, TROY" troy: "how would i be kidding you, he's right here" runt: (hands in the air) "they fuckin kid- they- they kidnapped me!" blink: "that- is THAT WHY YOU CAME UP TO ME?? IS THAT WHY YOU CAME UP TO ME SPECIFICALLY AND BEGGED ME FOR HELP?" troy: "yeah that's why i was telling you i had to stick with you no matter what" runt: "help! i've been fucking kidnapped! help! they- they kidnapped me, th- they brought me down here!" blink: "RUNT?? YOU TOO- oh god.." troy: "no this is a good idea- she kidnapped me!" runt: "i- i didn't fuckin do that!" aeon: "this is an interesting place here. kidnappin kids?" runt: "EXACTLY what the- wrong- what the fuck is wrong with you?" troy: "dude, what is- seriously, you have a problem." blink: "are you two serious right now??" (another long one but this is funny asf, troy & runt whispering and plotting to sneak away is so good)

0:16:45 blink: "troy, don't you- don't say a word!" troy: "i'm not sayin anything!" runt: "i'm not sayin anything either!" troy: "we're not sayin anything!"

0:17:00 runt: "this is my boy yort, he's got his tail stuck in his pants" troy yort?: "hey listen, i dunno what your- what your game is here, i dunno what your deal is, but these guys--they helped me get this really cool sled, and if you get any closer to me, i will hit you with it! and it's really cool so you'll prolly instantly die." runt: "he's got a weapon, but he is kidnapped!" troy yort: "i've got a- and i'm crazy, too." /.../ runt: "this guy's fuckin dangerous!" yort: "i'm super dangerous!" blink: "what do you mean bringing one of these guys down here, he fell down the hole and i was trying to help him get back up-" yort troy??: (literally starts barking) blink: "-and from the sounds of it- what?? is your PROBLEM troy??" aeon: "they're even worse than i thought"

0:18:31 aeon: "who's the rugrat?" runt: "who the fuck did you just call a rugrat i swear to fucking god, what's the fucking problem-" troy: "dude, runt, do you wanna escalate this? cuz i am down to escalate this- i do not appreciate the way you are talking to her!" runt: "do you- do you know where you are? cuz i don't think you know where you are-" troy: "do you fuckin know who she is? she is fuckin smartest girl in the world- she's in your fuckin head, dude." runt: "yknow what? that's it" (charges up her shit) troy: (readies his sled) runt: "you better watch yourself, okay, i'm kidnapping YOU now"

0:19:34 troy: "ah- there's no shot, i mean i think we should just beat the shit out of these guys" runt: "for once, i'm with you!" troy: "that's what i'm fuckin sayin!" (fistbumps runt) runt: "let's do it!"

0:22:05 bizly: "this boomerang comes down and slashes at your face, with the spikes on the front of it. and- it gives you a big long cut along the side of your face." (this visual is cool and i love the idea of troy now having a cool scar) troy: "alright, you just fucked up the moneymaker" aeon: "yknow, i was gonna bring you back to the surface, but now i think you're going to stay down here with me." troy: "why would stay with someone who threw a boomerang at me??" (beats the absolute living shit out of her with his sled)

0:23:55 the imagery and flavoring for blink using magic missile is so cool

0:25:44 blink: "dude they're- ah shit, they're air juggling you!" troy: "ah fuck, dude- they're juggling me!" blink: "no get away from the wall- get away from the wall they're gonna combo you!" troy: "i'm comboed dude, i'm in it- i'm getting wall bounced, i'm getting fucking wall bounced" blink: "they're gonna wall break you- dude they're wall breaking- ah shit" troy: "dude, they're mixing me up! they're mixing me up this isn't fair!" runt: "your bones kinda look like jello right now"

0:31:33 condi: "bizly, would it ruin everything if i burnt this place down so they couldn't get anything from here?" bizly: "no" grizz (as runt): "we are all in here" charlie (as troy): "dude, i'm just in a pile of grease, i'll be fine!"

0:32:14 TURBO TROY

0:36:11 runt: "my gam gams says that two wrongs don't make a right. and there's a lotta smoke in here" (coughing) "theres like fuckin- it's fillin up, i will leave your ass!" blink: "troy, she's already got a bad cough" troy: "ah shit, alright, alright, no worries, alright" runt: "it's not that fuckin bad, it's just the smoke!" troy: "dude it's all good, listen, i'm the team captain and i'm ready to go down for the ship, you guys get outta here!" runt: "word!" (cackling ensues) blink: "okay- i mean, yeah, that's one- that's another thing off the checklist, cool, um just need to deliver this letter now." (okay but. troy willing? to literally die for them ,, (and them just lowkey being like aight bet tho lmfao))

0:37:29 runt: "lets think this through, okay? if he dies in the fire, then that's one less problem we gotta deal with. he DID say he was gonna go up there and- and- and tell his fuckin father, who makes those fuckin soldiers" (coughing) "that we live down here, and that's gonna be a big fuckin problem, don't you think? plus, also, don't you kinda get a murderous vibe from this guy? what's stopping him from turning his sled on us next?" blink: "shit, you're right, but-" runt: "-and it's getting really hot in here," troy: (in the distance) "IM GOING TURBO" (banging his sled on things) (dude is NOT helping his case) blink: (looks at runt, somber look in his eye) "i can't just let him die."

0:40:40 (troy showing his loyalty and willingness to do anything for those he views as belonging to his team) (for better or worse)

0:41: 12 grizz (as runt): "runt math- 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25- alright, 25, i dont give a fuck, i count on my fingers" charlie (as troy): "fuck yeah, runt math!!"

0:41:38 bizly: "dude just imagining you like standing there, saying 'ah shit,,, fuck,,' with A DAGGER IN YOUR CHEST is REALLY KINDA FUCKIN NUTS DUDE" (mimics getting stabbed in the chest) "'aw shit dude, .. wait fuck,, fuck dawg!'"

0:43:10 TROY'S DOWN IN THE GODDAMN FIRE

0:47:54 elevator tequila!

0:48:10 runt: (stabalizes troy) "i woulda done that for that fuckin chick that you like, had the hots for, but uh- they pulled her away!" blink: "i don't have 'the hots' for her." runt: "really? you seen she fuckin beat- beat the shit out of him, well, actually- blink: "-she's just a childhood friend okay? i don't wanna hurt her. there's a lotta history there." runt: ".. how long's this elevator ride?" blink: "i dunno, we came down a long way" runt: (singing along to the tequila elevator music) "tequila!"

0:48:49 runt can convene with god (which actually in retrospect is nuts cuz she eventually does convene with (a) god?? lmao)

0:49:13 blink: (explaining his history w/ aeon) (as runt had literally asked) runt: "woah, the fuck- way to trauma dump! oh my gawd" /.../ runt: "so like- how does- how does that translate into becoming the mailman??"

0:51:09 (charlie's wiggling pretending to be slapped awake by runt is so funny)

addendum: this one ended up insanely long w/ like every piece of dialogue again lmfao (they're too good at being funny and entertaining lmfao) (out of curiosity i calculated it and w/ 26 moments i included here, and this ep being ~56.5 minutes (including! the stuff before/after the actual content) something funny happened, according to my standards, approx. every 2 minutes,, oops)

wonderlust favorite moments/interactions/scenes/etc + notes from multiple rewatches

this is a collection of all my favorite moments, scenes, interactions, and so on (as well as interesting observations that ive noticed through my multiple rewatches) from wonderlust. this is mostly for myself lmao

NOTE: so far, i only got thru ep 1 because. im tired and its almost 4 am lmao. i do wanna get thru all the eps for this tho so :3

style conventions(so i rember qwq): things are listed chronologically, by episode, with timestamps (h:mm:ss). i also (vaguely) color coded dialogue, just the PCs w/ their colors (troy in red, runt in purple, blink in green). if there is dialogue between the lines im highlighting, there will be "/.../" followed by the next line im including. finally, additional notes/thoughts/etc from me will be in small text, italicized parenthases (like this)

this will be updated as i rewatch episodes or watch new episodes :]

WARNING: beyond this point, there WILL be spoilers. proceed at your own risk!

ps: if there is anything that isnt here that you think is worthy, feel free to add on! also, there are very likely typos and/or formatting errors so. oopsie :3 (did try my best to make sure there werent)

pps: many of these will likely involve troy because im so brainrot for this guy but i do really love them all and their dynamics :3

episode 1: one man's trash

0:06:14 troy: "well then- the the fuckin uh, i gue- i guess they'll- i guess they'll fuckin- i guess when they- i guess-"

0:07:42 baby's first troy math

0:11:50 the incident

0:17:30 troy: "my names troy and i'm never gonna die!" (this note was taken when ep 23 was the latest--so far its true, but i suppose we'll see if it continues to do so)

0:37:30 this whole interaction with runt and her cousins is just adorable and i lobv it

0:45:43 ♪♫ you gotta be careful, little runt ♫♪

0:46:40 runt: "you're goddamn right uncle threestrings, why don't they give you a record deal?" uncle threestrings: "....... hohh.." (also charlie's face during this reacting to the song lmfao)

0:47:22 uncle threestrings: "if you don't come back-" runt: "ah-" uncle threestrings: "-if you don't-" runt: "i will come back." uncle threestrings: "i just need to know somethin... how many cups do ya think they got up there?"

0:58:06 pinch: "doppler we need to break this thing or somethin-" runt: "no, don't- don't break it :[" /.../ runt: "i wanna keep it!"

1:14:24 runt: "they got this big fuckin circle in the sky too, what the fuck is that?" uncle threestrings: ".. circle? who made that?" runt: "i don't know!" uncle threestrings: "how'd they put it there?"

1:28:08 cut: "she want another one?" blink: "gran- yeah, granny granite wants a slice of cake, she took my package. you know how it is, this happens every time!" cut: "i'm gonna run out, i'm gonna run out, she's just gonna eat it all-" blink: "how! how are you gonna run out?! what do you mean-" cut: "she's just gonna eat it all!" blink: "but she's so old and slow!" (i love blink's outbursts lmfao)

1:33:05 immediate simping for aeon as her design is revealed ("id let her beat me up" lmfao)

1:37:07 (realizing i didn't put together before how he somehow got his steamsled back, obv upon rewatch i know it's because of his capture but just interesting to think about how that slipped by me the first time and catching it in subsequent watches)

1:37:51 baby's first "YOU DUDE" blink: (starts running) troy: "don't play hard to get with me dude, i'll fucking catch you, i'll fucking catch you no matter how fuckin long you run i will keep running, i'm an endurance animal of a human being" (sprinting) "you can flee now- i can track you, dude"

1:39:45 (cont. from scene above, somewhat) troy: "dude, there's no need to be such a fucking freak-" blink: "what the fuck-" troy: "-i'm just trying to talk to you-" blink: "-what the fuck are you-" troy: "-i just wanted to say... i just wanted to tell you that i'm fuckin cool, and you have gotta run with me, dude, if you wanna make it down here."

1:40:31 troy believes he's at furcon, blink calls him fantasy slurs (also he "loves birds" wauw)

1:42:17 here troy says that blink's his only ticket out, and when blink asks why him troy says he's not supposed to tell him :0

1:43:06 troy: "oh, yeah, i do have a combrussion"

1:47:00 bizly: (rolls a two against troy & blink's stealth) "dude, a two, a TWO, you're fine! you're fine." charlie (in troys voice): "yah, dude i fuckin know,"

1:49:06 the making of yort (& knilb)

1:50:12 blink: "let's-let's tackle this one thing at a time, okay?" troy yort: "alright, dude, i'm fuckin, i'm yort"

1:51:45 troy yort: "have you ever heard the saying, one guy's trash is another dude's.. fuckin,,.. coo- like- fuckin shit."

1:52:22 blink: "i don't wanna- i'm gonna be frank, the more you talk, the more i don't want to help you." troy yort: "dude, who the FUCK is frank, dude? why do you wanna be him? we already got you a cool name??"

1:54:09 troy yort: "cogs? we literally, like, live, breathe, and eat cogs up there, man. i mean, we also use it as money, but you know what i mean. we DONT eat, breathe, or live it, we just use it as money."

1:54:40 cloudspire hoohah rise up

1:54:46 blink: "what are you saying??" troy yort: "dude, you are just ridiculous, man, i-i don't even know where to start. i mean like, so basically, i'm like the shit."

1:55:12 just a straight roll like man and woman missionary fuckin dude fucking a woman straight roll troy yort: "honestly sometimes i think about guys"

1:57:20 (i just love how, even tho troy JUST met blink, he's already so willing to back him up. he doesn't quite understand when he DOES need to stand down but i think it does show he's never been a fully awful person.)

1:57:57 blink: "well we got some, uh, some tetanus shots in here. a few of them have been poked by granny- granny granite, so be careful about that, she's very pokey." arch: "wouldn't want anyone to catch whatever she's got, hahaha!" troy yort: "i'm not sayin anything" baby's first i'm not sayin anything (this whole interaction is so fuckin funny to me)

2:00:42 troy yort: "i don't understand why this is happening?!" blink: "i already told you!!" troy yort: "i didn't say anything!" blink: "you kept saying you weren't saying anything!!!" troy yort: "i thought that's what you wanted!! you need to be CLEAR!!"

2:02:36 bizly: "a blunt arrow comes whizzing by your head." charlie (as troy yort): "fuckin what i just smoke it" once again charlie is possessed by troy

2:06:28 the bit with the old woman and her dead husband's pan and her second husband

2:09:18 graphite's rock and the painting (troy yort keeping the rock after too is so real, i love rocks :3)

2:11:36 troy: "hey graphite, dude, can i level with you?" graphite: ".... suuuuure?" troy: "alright, sick, cuz i think i get some hp from that. maybe some other little goodies." graphite: "you just say things, don't you?" troy: "troy"

[pilkypills]

The bts clip of the deleted barrels scene is so funny. Audio of the cast calmly explaining what a huge pain it was being wet in those wigs and clothes overlayed on footage of Thorin completely losing his shit looking for Bilbo

[rambles-about-minecraft-ocs]

one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible

like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that

[clumsypuppy]

fake ep idea + doodles

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.

[yikes-ajax]

Hey! Sorry for lack of updates (I know my zero followers are very upset over it), our cats have been sick with some nasty stuff lately. Our old boy packed a cold in and after two vet trips he's good, but now our calico is sick. But! They're both starting to do better after some antibiotics! Hooray! 🎉

Anyways, have some pictures of this big baby FINALLY learning to sit in my lap!

[boxwinebaddie]

rip in honor of an anon who asked me to have ravenstan and jerseykyle write them something cute ( smh jk )

this never fails to be funny to me

[thatneoncrisis]

nobody tell me to watch angel i dont care if its good im gonna be a little bitch about it. i hate that guy i get mad every time season 4 mentions him

[yellllowstar]

slowly I'm recovering the beauty of discovery

(creature by half•alive)

(textless + timelapse below cut)

[clumsypuppy]

started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[aaxzlyte]

i'm not sure i'll ever finish the wip i have where Near has a white cat named Jetfire