#and next year we'll do 2 and year 4 we'll do 3 and we'll probably finish up by year 5

[duck-era-lexi]

yuh

[chaussetteblanche]

and they were roommates pt. 2

pairing : Spencer Reid x fem!student!roommate!reader summary : the BAU team works the case, you get to help word count : 2.3k warning : canon-typical violence, mention of violence and sexual violence A/N : thank you all so much for all the love on part 1 of this !!! I love getting feedback, it's incredibly motivating ! I will probably do a part 3 :)) Also, my cat is sitting next to me as I write this, which I find quite funny

part 1, part 3, part 4

Back at the police station, Spencer had trouble focusing on the case. His mind kept wandering over to you, wondering what you were doing, how you were doing. He was on edge and the entire team could feel it. Hotch pulled him to the side to ask him if he wanted to give you a phone call. Reid refused, but settled on sending you a text, something he never usually did while working. Something he never usually did because he wasn't the biggest fan of technology and also because he couldn't decipher how you were actually feeling without hearing your voice and all the quirks in the way you spoke which gave away your real feelings.

Sent by Dr. Ironed Socks : < Hey. How are you doing? > Sent by You : < Ok, I'm having a tea on the couch. Geoff is in REM sleep on my lap. Thx for checking <3 >

Your text was followed by a pixelly picture of your slightly overweight (Spencer couldn't use that term to describe Geoffrey around you or you'd get upset) orange cat sprawled out on your lap, legs and arms askew, fast asleep. Spencer felt a small wave of relief spread through him. You were okay for now. Geoffrey was looking after you. Later, he'd help you process and give you all the tools necessary to get over such a traumatic event and move on. It was almost as if that was in his job description.

Returning to the room where the BAU team had settled in, Spencer sent Hotch a grateful nod. Hotch moved his lips in what resembled a small smile, Reid couldn't be sure. "Okay," Garcia's voice resounded from the speaker sitting in the middle of the round table, "I've contacted all of Mary Goldman's professors and it turns out she didn't go to class today. Her first class was at 11:30 but she never showed up." "None of the students we interrogated on campus had seen her after 10:15," Emily spoke up. "Spencer's roommate saw her between 10:30 and 11:00," Rossi intervened. "Okay, we'll get her to come in," Hotch affirmed. Spencer's whole body tensed. You had been the last person to see the victim. His mind was so busy reeling, thinking about everything you'd have to go through as the most promising witness, that he missed Morgan's question.

"Reid?" Derek raised an eyebrow. "Uh, sorry, what did you say?" "What was the time of death according to the coroner?" "14:30," Rossi answered. "It was 14:26, actually," corrected Reid. Rossi rolled his eyes. "Okay, so the unsub has his victim between around, let's say 11:15, and 14:26," Rossi shot a pointed look at Spencer, "that's about three hours and 11 minutes. In those three hours, he had time to take the victim someplace where neither of them would be seen or heard, beat and sexually assault her, and finally dump her in smack-dab in front of the university." "He's definitely organised and wants to send a message," Emily thought aloud. "But what is he trying to say? Look at what I can do? You can't stop me?" "Friends," interrupted Garcia, "I'm going to need at least some information before I even try to get anything out of a search. He's taking and leaving them on campus, so I'm guessing he doesn't necessarily need a vehicle. Does he live in the area?" "Yes, he's local or knows the area, he knows these women and he most likely knows the campus. Search for white males, early twenties with a record of violence and sexual misconduct. Cross-reference that with victims of reported abuse and sexual abuse in the last twenty five years. Run background checks for all university staff. Also have a look at similar victims and MOs in this area in the last five years. This may not be his first time," spoke Hotch. "On it, I'll get back to you when I've found something." "Thanks, Garcia."

You'd taken a shower as soon as you'd arrived home. The water was too hot and you'd scrubbed your skin too hard but getting out, you felt a slight bit better. Heavily disliking the way you still felt, you opted for a cup of Earl Grey tea with milk and sugar. Settling on the couch with a steaming cup in your hands, you tucked your legs beneath you and sighed.

Images of Mary's dead body were printed onto the inside of your eyelids. You still couldn't believe it. Your mind reeled as you tried to think of an explanation for it all. Whichever path you followed, you came up empty. You could not comprehend or imagine any reason of taking the life of an innocent person, especially in such a violent way. Luckily for you, you still didn't know the extent of the violence.

A familiar noise pulled you from your dark thoughts. Geoffrey had just jumped down from his cat tree. You watched him stretch and languidly walk over to you. He meowed once before jumping onto the couch, right next to you. You moved your legs so that you were sitting cross-legged and scratched his head. He purred in delight and pressed himself against you. He sniffed at your tea with an unimpressed look before climbing into your lap before letting himself flop down on his side, stretching out his appendages. You cooed as his pink toe-beans stretched too and laid a hand on his belly, scratching gently. The vibrations of his purrs had a calming effect on you. "Are you trying to make me forgive you for biting my ankle the other day when I wouldn't give you any more treats? You know Spencer says you're a bit overweight, I was just trying to get him to stop body-shaming you, my love..."

A few minutes later, you get a text from Spencer. About thirty minutes after that, you get a phone call from him. "Hey, would you mind coming to the station? It turns out you're the last person to have seen the victim."

"I'll do the cognitive interview." "Reid, I don't think that's a good idea." "Look, yes I'm invested, I know that. But I also know her and-" "Reid, no. This is the reason we such have procedures." "But I-" "Reid." Hotchner's tone translated finality. Spencer's shoulders sank in defeat. He had figured that if he had been the one conducting the interview, maybe it would have been less traumatic for you. He hated the idea of not being there for you, with you, during such a trying moment. He bit his bottom lip.

"I'll do it," volunteered Morgan. Reid felt slight comfort at that, Morgan was one of the few people he would entrust his life to. He could entrust you to him for the interview, even if he didn't like it. Hotchner nodded. "Reid, you work with Garcia, focus on finding other victims with the same MO to help build the profile." Reid nodded and went to find his colleagues.

When you entered the police station, it was almost like he could feel your presence. He came to find you straight away, not wanting to leave alone even for a second. "Hey." "Hey." Reid immediately pulled you in for a meaningful embrace, burying his face in your hair. The smell of your shampoo, conditionner and body wash were bliss to his nostrils. They were a promise that you were here, you were safe, you were okay. Morgan watched from afar, a small smile playing at his lips. He knew Reid, and the hug you exchanged was both too hasty and too tight to be anything casual. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry to have to make you come in, but they're going to do- well I wanted to do it but they wouldn't let me, so it's-"

A slightly older, very muscular and gentle man stepped forward, holding out his hand to you. You shook it. "I'm Agent Derek Morgan. I'm one of Spencer's colleagues. I'll be the one conducting the interview, seeing as there's a conflict of interest with you and Spencer. I hope you can understand that." You introduced yourself and looked at Spencer before answering Derek. "Yes, I understand, it's- it's not a problem." "Great, if you could just follow me, please?" You licked your lips and sent Spencer a look, which he answers with a nod of reassurance and a small smile, before following Derek.

"You can close your eyes if it makes you more comfortable." You were sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair. The light above you was ticking at uneven intervals and the room smelt of worry. You didn't know how you could get any more comfortable, but listening to Morgan's even, alto voice helped a bit. "Okay." You closed your eyes. "You told Agent Rossi that you crossed the victim somewhere around quarter to eleven. Is that correct?" "Uh, yes." "Where did you cross her?" "In the main hall." "Where were you going?" "Um, I had just been to the bathroom and I was heading to my Anglo-American Literary Survey class." "Okay, can you describe to me everything about the moment when you crossed the victim? What you saw, what you felt, smelled, heard? Was anything out of the ordinary?" You opened your eyes.

"Um, I'm sorry, but could you stop referring to Mary as the victim, please? She has a name, which is Mary Goldman, and a victim wasn't the only thing she was." Derek was slightly surprised at your comment but understood where you came from. Separating from the name was a way for profilers to gain some distance from the horrendous violence. Personally knowing the victim, you didn't have such luxury. "Of course, I apologise. What did you feel when you crossed Mary? Was anything out of place?"

You nodded in thanks and tried to bring yourself back to that moment. It seemed unreal, how such a small interaction suddenly held such importance. "O-Okay, uh, my hands are still a bit wet. There weren't any towels in the bathroom. I saw her after she saw me and we exchanged a smile. I thought she looked really pretty today, but I didn't tell her. We really don't know each other that well." "Okay, that's good. Was she wearing anything out of habit for her?" "Uhh, no, she was wearing a pleated skirt and a sweater vest. She often dresses like that, I don't know exactly why I thought she looked pretty. I guess she just looked happy. Nothing was out of the ordinary." "Good. Could you hear or smell anything?" "Yeah, well, there were the voices of other people in the hall. I can hear girls laughing. I smell Mary's perfume when she walks past me. She always wears the same one, it's Chanel, Mademoiselle Coco specifically, she told me once at a party."

"Okay, do you know where she's going?" "I- yeah, she's heading for her Behavioural Neuroscience class." "Is she walking in the right direction?" "Uh... Yes, yes, she is. She's not in too much of a hurry, though, she doesn't like the teacher." "So why is she heading there already, then? The class only starts at 11:30." "She likes to reread the material from the previous week before the class starts." "Why doesn't she like the teacher?" "No one does, all he does is read off his slides and he's a jerk when it comes to grading."

Morgan suppressed a smile at your comment. "Okay, thank you so much, Y/N, this was very helpful." "Was it? I didn't feel like-" "Yes, I promise you've just shared some crucial pieces of information." "O-Okay, if you say so."

All eyes were on Morgan as he entered the briefing room. He put his paper coffee cup down on the table and looked at Hotch. "Nothing was out of the ordinary. Mary was wearing habitual clothes and the same perfume she always wore. She was heading to the same class, as she did weekly, at the same time. My guess is this guy knew her routine and did a blitz attack. Y/N gave me the number of Mary's best friend, and according to her, Mary didn't have any guys in her life except for her dad and brother."

Hotchner nodded. Spencer couldn't help but feeling proud of you for being able to go through with the interview and to provide such useful information, too. He'd have to congratulate you when he got home. "Pretty boy and I found three similar victims in the last three years. They weren't connected to this case because they were in another university, just on the other side of the state line. Last year, three girls, university students, were killed, same MO, all disappeared for about three hours before being found dead in front of the university, they attended," Garcia spoke from the speaker. Spencer nodded in agreement to her words. "What did the police find back then?" asked Emily. "Nothing, they- uh, did all they could during the month that the three murders happened but after the third victim, the unsub stopped," Spencer answered. "Stopped?" Emily repeated, brows drawn together in confusion. "Yeah, he just- stopped killing and disappeared. Our best guess is that something triggered him then and that the same thing triggered him now."

"Oh, another thing," Garcia sounded reluctant to share the information she had, "I looked at all the victims' pictures and... well, I'll just send them to you, that'll be easier."

Spencer's blood ran ice cold as he stared at the four girls on the screen. They all looked exactly like you.

Taglist : (all those of you who wanted a part two <3) @princess-ofthe-pages @usuck @theylovemelody @empressgraytea @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @lillianacristina

[ruyakasunshine]

My humble suggestions to make F1 more interesting

In the light of the recent rumors about the FIA trying to manipulate the races in order to get more ratings, here are my totally awesome suggestions to make the races more interesting for the viewers.

obligatory disclaimer : those are jokes.

1. Add the Mario Kart blue shell

With the blue shell, you wouldn't have to worry about a race being uninteresting because one of teams has built a rocketship! Now you might be wondering how that would be doable, because how do you get an actual blue shell to only hit one driver? To that I answer, "sweetheart, give me your hand, and let me enlighten you with this name : Kevin Magnussen". Our dear K-mag won't be on the grid next year, and since we'll all miss him dearly, I think we should give him a blue kart and tell him to take out the race leader. He would be released once during the race, in a very random moment (that would be decided through 'google, give me a random number between 1 and 67') and the moment he is out a loud radio voice should announce "WE HAVE UNLEASHED THE MAGNUSSEN" in order to stress everyone out.

2. Add Horns

I know I'm not the only who has thought of this, because the CarCar beef would have been so much funnier if Oscar was allowed to just hit the horn at Carlos. Or the other way around, considering Carlos is a Mediterranean.

I believe that the one who'd abuse this the most would be Fernando, who, if he were to be passed by another driver, would push the button hard enough to spook them and gain his position back. We'd get him to win a race again with this, think about it!

Also, as an exception, Yuki's horn should be customed so that when it is pushed, it doesn't make a "beep" but a loud "FUCK" sound. He should be the only one allowed to do this.

3. Let them hear each other

I think they should just be all allowed to communicate together during the race, the way they do it with their engineers.

Now do I think it's doable? Probably not. Do I think that would be productive? Absolutely not. Do I believe the FIA would decide to remove this option 3 laps into a race? Totally.

But the entertainment value would be so high, because I refuse to believe anyone who says they wouldn't want to hear the Checo-Liam beef in live. Also, I think Carlos should have heard Oscar say "typical Carlos" as he said it. Now that would be fun.

No more team orders, if a driver wants to swap position with his teammate, he has to convince him with everyone being able to hear them.

I also believe that Charles and Max should be given this option anyway, since Max has decided to talk to Charles alone in his own car.

4. Settle the penalties through fistfights

I've seen people talk about how it is problematic to have different stewards at every race, because it makes the decisions taken incoherent. George believes permanent stewards would solve the issue. I believe that when two drivers collide, they should be allowed to fistfight in front of the arena, and the loser gets the penalty. That would especially funny in Vegas, with Bruce Buffer as the commentator.

Also, an exception would be made for one specific situation: if Lewis and Fernando collide, they have to hug, and the first one to let go looses and gets the penalty.

5. The team who gets tenth position in the constructors should get sold to One Direction

I have no arguments other than the fact that the team could use the money anyway, since they won't get much from the constructors.

6. Make the read fanfics for each penalty point they get

Remember this post where I suggested that Haas should have made read K-mag self-insert fanfics for every point he gets on his licence? Well I've changed my mind, I think every driver should have the chance to do it, in public, if they want to get out of a penalty. The higher the penalty is, the cringier the fic gets.

7. Find a solution to the lestappen followgate

Everyone and their mothers has been asking for one thing and one thing only : a Lestappen title fight. I think Charles could use some motiviation, so here is my humble suggestion : tell him that if he wins, Max has to follow him on Instagram. If he loses, it's the other way around. Believe me, this diva couldn't take it and would tranform whatever atrocity-car Ferrari gives him into a rocket. He's done it before for the sake of winning, believe me he'll do it again to get Max to follow him.

Thank me later.

[vettelsvee]

GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET | Sebastian Vettel ✩₊˚.⋆ PART 4: FAMILIAR [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]

goodbyes are bittersweet masterlist f1 masterlist | ao3 | ask anything or let's talk!

ferrari sebastian vettel x ex gf!female reader

word count: 3811

summary: seb comes back home as a surprise only to see that hanna and a little mysterious girl receive them... instead of y/n, who was supposed to finally meet him

warnings: settled on may 2018. curse words, angst, seb and little emily meeting but they don't know who they are to each other, seb being VERY suspicious. seb pov.

taglist: [ @saltycomicsanimalssalad @hc-dutch @mycenterfold @simplyamberj @spitesfvl-blog @jaydaaasworld @lottalove4evelyn @zoeyjadetice2010 @jehun @ferralari @cosmoscoffeee @mcmuppet @myescapefromthislife @sleutherclaw @youre-on-your-ownkid ]

a/n: i haven't said anything, BUT taylor made a mashup for her surprise songs in warsaw night 2 that is an absolute spoiler of this series (if you know it TELL ME ON ANON BECAUSE I LITERALLY SCREAMED). anyways, we're back with an update FINALLY. sorry to make you wait (really, i wasn't doing mentally ok and I'm still struggling but here we are!), but in the next chapter we'll have y/n and seb finally meeting... but for the moments I'll wait to see your comments, anon messages and reactions (please please please) about everything that happens on this chapter and how suspicious seb's gonna be (hope you fangirl and like everything as much as i did writing this) + also remind you that feedback and reposts are truly appreciated. thank you for all the support you've been showing me these days, love you all <3

© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

2018

May 3rd Heppenheim, Germany

Sebastian

The exhaustion was piling up in my body, and I knew that what I was doing was crazy. I was fully aware that facing my past with just two hours of sleep was quite risky, but I couldn't wait to see Y/N again. As soon as Hanna told me she had spoken to her and gave me the green light to visit her, I forced Britta to buy me a plane ticket to Cologne to head home as soon as I finished some Ferrari ads and all that shit I absolutely hated in Maranello. My excitement and nerves were so intense that I didn't even tell anything to my parents or Fabian, who would probably go crazy for not telling them earlier.

I let go of the suitcase reluctantly and, to my misfortune, it fell to the floor with a rather noticeable thud. I sighed and did my best to ignore it, ringing the doorbell and leaning against the wall while holding the bouquet of tulips I had bought for Y/N. I knew it was silly, but I was excited to have this small gesture as a sort of belated birthday gift for her.

"Who is it?"

I was notably surprised when, instead of my mother’s voice, a child’s one chirped the question.

"It’s Seb," I replied, trying not to make a big deal out of the situation. Maybe it was just the daughter, or even granddaughter, of one of my mother’s friends.

"I don’t know any Seb! Who is it?" she asked again, this time with a slightly annoyed tone.

"I’m Sebastian."

"Sorry, but I only know two Sebastians: one is the crab from The Little Mermaid, and the other one is the man who sometimes appears on TV at Grandma’s house."

I couldn’t help but laugh. Whoever that little girl was, she was the best thing I had come across in a long time.

"Mum also says I can’t open the door to strangers, so I can’t let you in. I’m sorry, sir."

"But my parents live here," I replied as calmly as I could. It was clear that the lack of sleep was affecting my patience.

"Are you Mr. Norbert’s secret son?!"

"Emily, let me open the door!"

The door suddenly opened, revealing a somewhat out-of-breath Hanna, as if she had come running to open it and was now trying to catch her breath. Next to her was a girl about five years old, with completely blonde and curly hair that reached roughly to her waist. The little one didn’t hesitate to smile and greet me with her right hand, and almost immediately, her eyes widened as she made eye contact with me. When I turned my gaze back to my friend I was quite surprised. Her skin, which was already pale, had turned even paler for no apparent reason. The girl, however, kept looking at me, curious and, in my perception, somewhat pleased.

Had Hanna become a mother and didn’t tell me?

Before I could react or say anything, the door slammed shut in my face, not giving me a chance to say anything. My surprise came when, a few seconds later, it opened again, revealing the same scene.

“You’re…” she started to say, hesitating. She was nervous, and her nerves only made me more anxious. “Seb… but not…”

“Is something wrong, Hanna?”

Instead of answering, she remained completely silent. I knew something was wrong as soon as she started to look at the ground instead of looking at me.

“Hanna?”

“Aunt Hanna…” the little girl, still by her side, intervened, trying to get her attention by tugging at her sweater sleeve. “The man who appears on TV with the red car is talking to you,” I widened my eyes, surprised. Did the girl know me? “Mom says that when someone talks to you, you should respond; it’s rude not to.”

“Do you know who I am?” I asked the little girl, crouching to her level.

“Of course I know you…!”

“Hey, sweetie, why don’t you go play outside for a while?” My friend intervened before the little girl could finish. “Sebastian and I need to talk about some things, okay?”

“Did mommy have a surprise for me and that’s why she brought him?” the girl asked curiously, pointing at me. “Mommy said she was going to bring me a surprise when she came back from…”

“Emily, that’s enough! Go outside and we’ll talk about mom's surprise later. We can even call her if you want, okay?”

Prater’s shout startled the girl, who simply picked up a stuffed panda from the couch and a red car that looked quite similar to the one I had in Formula 1 back in 2015. As soon as Hanna turned back to her, scolding her once more, she ran towards the yard.

I found it amusing that, when my friend turned back to me, that curly-haired blonde girl peeked around the door, trying not to let us see her, possibly feeling quite curious about what we had to discuss. 

It didn’t bother me at all, but exactly the opposite. I used to do the same when I was a child and my parents had friends coming home.

“Are you here or not, Sebastian?”

Hanna quickly brushed her hand over my face. I immediately shifted my gaze from the little girl and refocused on her. She had her arms crossed, her sweater sleeves rolled up, and her face was completely red.

I wasn’t sure if she was angry with little Emily, with me, or with the situation, though she had no reason to be. After all, I was the one who had come to my parents’ house, my home, to get ready to see Y/N. It wasn’t my problem that I had encountered Hanna and this mysterious girl here, without any prior notice. At least, I didn’t see it as such.

“I’ve been here since I arrived, Hanna. You’re the one who’s gone crazy seeing me show up,” I responded tersely.

“You could have told me that you were coming.”

“Do I need to give an exact day for when I’ll be back home? Can’t I give my parents a fucking surprise?”

“Didn’t you consider that your parents might be running errands at this time? Or that…”

I left her talking to herself because the last thing I wanted was to argue, especially over something trivial like this. Her behavior was stressing me out too much, and that was the last thing I needed, especially considering that my ex and I might run into each other at any moment.

Without saying anything else, I headed to the kitchen to find a vase for the tulips for Y/N before they wilted. While filling it with water, I noticed the little girl. She was engrossed with that red toy car, moving it back and forth while murmuring commands with what seemed to be an attempt of technical Formula 1 words. She pushed her curls out of her face and suddenly decided to include the panda bear in the game.

I stared at the girl. Her face seemed familiar… too familiar, in fact. I didn’t know exactly what it was, but I had a feeling I had seen her before in Heppenheim, though I didn’t remember seeing her as part of any family of my parents’ friends.

I tried to downplay the fleeting thought when Hanna arrived, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed and, as I had guessed upon looking back, with a rather unfriendly expression. 

Her eyes were analyzing me, I knew it perfectly. I sighed and placed the vase on the counter, arranging the tulips as best as I could while trying to ignore her behavior.

"Are they for Y/N?" she finally asked.

"Who else would they be for?"

"She isn’t here," she said abruptly, dropping the news.

Silence fell between us once again. I raised my gaze so quickly that I almost felt a bit dizzy. All she did was look at me, unable to continue the conversation or, at least, undecided on whether to continue it or not. Finally, after a few seconds, she decided to speak again:

"I know I told you she’d be here this week, but…" she hesitated. It was the first time I had seen her like this, and she was by no means the self-assured Hanna I had known since the first day of school. “Damn it, Seb, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but…”

"Does she have a boyfriend?"

That was the first thing that came to mind, and I immediately regretted blurting it out. Hanna laughed so hard that Emily, who was now chasing a butterfly, stopped dead in her tracks to see what was happening to her supposed aunt.

Hanna approached me. She gave me a few pats on the chest and then on the head, before giving me a hug that caught me off guard.

"How naive you are, Sebastian Vettel… Do you really think Y/N would have a boyfriend? Can you picture her having one?"

"Well, it's been five years since she broke up with me. It's about time she moved on, so I find it normal."

"Have you moved on? Do you have some secret girlfriend you haven’t told us about, Mr. Privacy?"

I didn’t answer, which was enough for her to know we were in the same romantic situation.

"I've slept with a few girls all these years, but I’ve never looked for anything serious," I confessed.

"Well, I’m afraid to tell you that you’re in the same boat as Y/N then. As far as I know, she hasn’t slept with anyone, although it’s understandable, considering she has…”

And before she could say anything more, she stopped talking. Again.

If the situation between us had calmed down, it had now become tense again. It was the second time that day, at least as far as I had noticed, that Hanna Prater seemed to have let something slip. I looked at her, searching her expressions for something that would give me a hint about what she wanted to say; she simply looked away and headed to the living room, sitting on the sofa and changing the channel from some cartoon pigs to the local Heppenheim news channel.

"What does Y/N have, Hanna? Or who does she have?"

"Y/N is in London, Seb," she finally revealed with a sigh, as if it was hard for her to tell me. “I know it’s not my place to tell you this, and even less that she would like you to know, but after your breakup… she has some contacts.”

"What kind of contacts are you talking about?" I wanted to know. Had she done something I wasn’t aware of? Was she in trouble?

"To say it briefly, because the story is too long, a guy from this very famous boyband back in the day decided to come here for a while to find inspiration for new music and see what to do with his solo career," she explained. “Call it coincidence, luck or an act of God, but Niall ended up going to the bar where Y/N works and, well… the rest is history.”

I didn’t know what to say… Yes, I hoped things were going a bit better for her than when we were together, but that she had met someone as important as that guy seemed…

"The thing is, Y/N is in London right now. But she’ll be back, so don’t worry. She’s been there for several days," Hanna continued. "Niall isn’t particularly good at keeping secrets, and since he knew she was the face behind Red, he had the bright idea of mentioning it to his label who, luckily, said they’d like to meet with Y/N to offer her a contract."

"And did you know any of this before telling me to come, or…?"

I tried not to sound angry, but the truth was I was, at least a little. To be more exact, I was more than just angry… I was upset. Upset simply because Y/N, knowing I had asked if she was the face behind that viral video that was having so much success, and now considering that she had a possibly important meeting with that record label, hadn’t bothered to respond not only to my question but also to my birthday wishes.

I felt really bad because, despite being the person who probably knew y/n better than anyone else in the world, it seemed like the opposite.

"Y/N didn’t tell me anything until the day before she left," she confessed quietly. "I swear, Seb, she was so reluctant to go that I even thought she wouldn’t go and you two would finally get to talk about everything…” Once again, a pause full of uncertainty gnawed at me from within. “The only thing she said to me before going to London was that she wasn’t going to sign anything and that she was going only because she hadn’t traveled since you two were together, and she actually was doing that because she needed to disconnect and think about a few things.”

"So… did she go for nothing?"

"She doesn’t want to sign any record deal, Seb. She just wants to put her life in order and continue it as it is now. She doesn’t need anything more than what she has."

I didn’t know what to say, but I had a thousand conflicting thoughts swirling in my head right now. It struck me as very strange that my ex-girlfriend didn’t want to accept a record deal. That was everything Y/N had worked for in this life, and now, when she had the opportunity, she was turning it down…

Maybe Britta was right and the Y/N I knew was now just a mere ghost of my past, still haunting my life to torment me with the answers I never got.

"Y/N should accept it," was all I could say, impassive to what my ears had just heard. "I can’t believe she’d turn down something she’s fought for so many years…”

Suddenly, a melody from a song I didn’t recognize started playing in the room. Emily appeared with a phone in her hand and ran to give it to Hanna who, upon looking at the screen, became quite alarmed.

"Sorry, Seb, it’s important…" she said without taking her eyes off the phone. "Emily, stay here with Seb, okay? I’ll be right back…”

Hanna left faster than I would have liked, leaving me alone with the little girl, who again kept staring at me.

"You’re just like on TV..."

The little blonde girl came up to me, too close, and began examining me closely. She placed her small hands on my cheeks and moved them across my face. I was sure she was leaving little traces of dirt, but I didn’t mind when I saw she couldn’t stop smiling and laughing.

"If my mommy were here, she’d be very happy to see you," she said, sitting next to me.

"Does your mom know who I am?"

She nodded.

"Mommy watches you on TV every day," she revealed. "Well, not every day, but when you’re on granny’s TV on weekends, she spends hours and hours watching you at your work!"

"So your mom likes Formula 1, huh?"

"What’s that?" she asked innocently. However, before I could say anything, she spoke again. "Oh, I remember now! That’s what’s on TV where the cars go really fast, right? And you drive one of them, don’t you?"

I nodded slightly while laughing.

"Mommy says it’s very dangerous and sometimes she’s scared about what might happen to you. Mommy really likes you a lot, you know? Why don’t you go out with her and be my daddy?"

"Sometimes it is a bit dangerous, yes, but don’t worry: today there are many safety measures to keep us safe, and we also take a lot of care when we drive,” I said quietly, trying to sound as calm as possible and ignoring her last request. Did this girl not have a present father?

The girl frowned, not very convinced by my answer and, possibly, upset by ignoring part of what she was surely eager to know. Her eyes, a shade of blue that was neither dark nor light, looked at me with curiosity.

"Have you ever hurt yourself while driving your red car?" she asked again, interested.

"Well, um…" I hesitated for a moment on what words to choose so as not to alarm her further. "Sometimes we have small bumps, but the barriers on the track protect us when we go off."

Emily seemed more at ease with the softened version of reality, although she still looked worried and upset. I didn’t know why I was telling her all this considering she was probably no older than five and I might be scaring her.

"Hey, now tell me something about you, since I’m on holidays and I don’t want to talk about my work! What do you like to do? I don’t know anything about you yet!"

Her eyes lit up when I asked her that. My main intention was to change the subject, but something inside me was glad to see her so happy when I showed some kind of interest in her.

"I love to paint and play!" she exclaimed. "I also like going to the park with mummy, dancing and singing at her work! And I also like tales!"

"What’s your favorite tale?"

“Mommy always tells me one about a prince who is part of a blue team and takes part in an important game every year, and he always wins! And in the end, he falls in love with a very pretty waitress, and they have a little baby and take care of it together, and they’re very happy!”

I got in absolute shock at her words.

Could it...?

No, it’s impossible, there’s no way that’s some kind of version of my story with Y/N. It must be the exhaustion and all the hustle and bustle of these last few days that are starting to make my head a mess.

I didn’t know what else to say, so while I tried to sort my thoughts, we sat in silence for a while. I changed the channel from the local one to the cartoons that had been on earlier to keep Emily entertained.

The little one didn’t say anything else, but she did snuggle up to me as if she had known me for much more than less than an hour.

When some amount of time had passed, I felt slight tugs on my shirt. I hadn’t realized I had closed my eyes and had dozed off a little. Emily’s little smile brought me back to reality:

“Is something wrong, little one?” I asked, worried that something had happened to her.

“Aunt Hanna is still on the phone, and Peppa Pig is over,” she pointed to the TV with her little hand. “And you probably have to leave soon... Mrs. Heike and Mr. Norbert are coming back any moment now!”

“But this is my house. I’m not going anywhere,” I said, trying not to laugh. “Heike and Norbert are my parents. Do you remember that I told you that before?”

She nodded, relieved and partly remembering that we had talked about it earlier. From her face, I knew she was about to say something more, but I didn’t hear her when I noticed my phone vibrating in my pocket.

I tried to disconnect as much as possible when I was on “vacation,” but given that it could be an important work issue, I decided to check what the notification was about.

To my absolute surprise, it was a message from Y/N:

Hi, Seb.

I’m so sorry for not replying to you earlier. I completely forgot...

I really wanted to, but with one thing and another, it’s been impossible. Hanna has probably talked to you about it, so I won’t say much more so I don’t stress you out more than you probably already are.

I promise that the next time you come, I’ll be there, and we’ll talk about whatever you want.

I think we have quite a few things to discuss about, and I hope you’re not upset with me when that happens.

I read the message more times than I could count, not believing what my eyes were seeing. Relief mixed with confusion at the last sentence. “I think we have quite a bit to discuss, and I hope you’re not upset with me when that happens” didn’t make me think of anything good, especially coming from Y/N.

I took some time to reply, maybe hoping that Hanna, who I saw was coming back into the house, could help me. I started to worry again when I saw a forced smile on her face, as if she was trying to hide something, just as she seemed to have been doing all day.

I started to hear the door lock and then it opening. I knew perfectly by the way of walking that it was my parents, and Emily seemed to know it as well. The little one jumped off the sofa and ran towards them, which surprised me quite a bit.

I only did the same, except I stood up as calmly as I could, with a kind of fear I couldn’t explain.

“You’ve come back home!” the little girl shouted excitedly, bouncing up and down. “Mrs. Heike, Mrs. Heike! Can I ask you something now that your son, the one who drives cars and is very liked by mom, is here?”

My mother looked at the little girl, and then at me. Her face changed completely when she realized that Emily wasn’t lying and that I was, in fact, back home. I didn’t know what Hanna was like at that moment, but I would swear she was more distressed than she had been all day.

Even my father, who normally was a person who didn’t get flustered by anything, seemed quite nervous.

Emily and I, however, seemed to be the only ones who weren’t catching on and were living in our bubble of innocence.

“Does your mommy have a nickname for you, Sebastian?” the little one asked me in a low voice, calling me by my name for the first time. Then she asked me to bend down and carefully placed her hand on my ear to tell me something so that no one would hear. “My mommy says I’m the sunshine of her life, but she always says to me not to tell anyone, that she calling me that way is a secret between us. No one answers me why when I ask them, do you know why?”

[mcytblraufest]

As the dust settles on Aufest 2024, we start to look forward to what's happening next year. Because three years of aufest just sounds like a great precursor to four years of aufest: barring disaster, we'll be back next year.

But in what FORM will we be back next year?

One thing has been consistent so far with our event. We've done a new thing every year. So the decision is, do we go back to something we've done before, or do we try something new? And that's where you come in. Yes this is a post about a poll.

The Options

Option 1 - Fandom Exchange: We do what we did Aufest 2022 and we do a Fandom Exchange. Similar to the Holiday Exchange that runs in the winter, everyone will sign up and be paired with another person, and they'll have a month to make that person a gift. People will have a chance to opt into art, fic, web weaves, playlists, podfic, or other, and the basic expectation will be 1k or a clean finished art piece in a month, all on the theme of aus. This would be a one-month event.

Option 2 - Big Bang: We do what we did Aufest 2023, and we do a Big Bang. Writers sign up with an au that's halfway done, and they get matched with artists who draw art based on their fic while they finish their au. The basic expectation is 5k in two months for writers, or a clean finished art piece in one month for artists. This would be a two-month event.

Option 3 - Reverse Big Bang: We do what we did this year, and we do a Reverse Big Bang. Artists sign up with completed au art, and then writers write a fic based on the art. The basic expectation is a clean finished art piece in one month for artists, or 5k in two months for writers. This would be a three-month event.

Option 4 - Battleship. (Though we'll probably call it Dungeon Crawl.) This is the new option, if you want to try something new. This is a competitive fic and art game, heavily based on the multifandom exchange Battleship. Participants are divided into teams, and each team is assigned a board, a 10*10 grid. Each square on the grid is assigned with two tags, things like "space au" or "divorce" or "tooth-rotting fluff" or "cannibalism", and a number between 10 and 20. Participants write a fic or draw an art that can be tagged with the one of the tags on a square, gifting it to a request made by someone in the event, and once a square is "hit" the number of times indicated on it, it clears that square, and the mods will tell you if you hit a trap or a treasure. Teams race to disarm all the traps on their board before moving on to the next stage. The basic expectations for this one would be a clean sketch on unlined paper or a 300 word fic, literally as fast as you can turn it out, but most participants in battleship write multiple fics/draw multiple arts before all boards are cleared. Battleship runs until all boards are cleared, but generally people expect to see a 3-week event.

Which of these do you want to see next year?

[slytherinshua]

☾　REBORN, UNDEAD　( 성한빈 )

genre angst , fluff , vampire au , undead au , former vampire!hanbin x former vampire!fem!reader   cw blood and battle mentions (from the past in pt 2) , crying   wc 1363   request no   note for @nonononranghaee from the moot fic form (although ik you just went on hiatus but it's okay read whenever ur back !!) also please please read part 1 and part 2 of this fic series before reading part 3 because this will not make sense without reading part 2 esp!!! there will probably be a part 4 to this as well and we'll see after that. thank you so much for all the love on this series so far as well <3   net @kstrucknet @chrimatanet

“Stop worrying about me. I’ll be fine. I won’t get hurt. I promise I won’t.”

In eighteen hundred years, Hanbin had never broken a promise to you. Until now. He was painfully aware that somehow, something had gone wrong on that battlefield. He couldn’t remember what, but something alerted him that everything was very, very wrong. 

“Y/n? Y/n! Where are you?” Hanbin’s shouts landed on deaf ears, echoing around the dark void without anyone to receive them. He didn’t know where he was, or how he ended up there in the first place. The last thing he remembered was you holding him close, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead with tears in your eyes. Why were you crying? Why did you look so scared?

His gaze dropped to his hands, inspecting them as if they would give him some answers. They looked normal, but something felt different. He couldn’t feel his magic surging in his veins. Before, he could sense his heart beating slowly if he focused, but now, it felt like it was pounding in his chest, so loud he couldn’t stop hearing it. He ran his tongue along the front of his teeth: no fangs. 

Was he… no longer a vampire? 

He touched his collarbone, feeling for the tattoos. They were still there, yet they didn’t react to his touch. No glowing, no surge of his powers, just stillness. He gulped. For the first time, unquenchable fear filled his body.

For hundreds of years he had learned to live a certain way. Always close to you, so that his powers could be strongest. Always in harmony between his natural body and supernatural vampiric features. He never needed to worry about sickness or the cold. He could transform into a bat at will or heal wounds, both physical and mental. 

He felt useless now, unable to do any of the things he used to. Lost, without a single direction to go towards. He couldn’t remember what he did as a human; what he used to fill his time with. It was too long ago to recall. He felt like he had just been born again, with no sense of how to go about the world. He’d have to learn all over again. But first, he was determined to find you. 

He wasn’t himself without you. You had held a part of him for too long, caring for his soul as if it was your own. If he wasn’t with you, he had no purpose. So, he took a few steps forward, slowly getting used to the feeling of the ground beneath his feet. Every step took energy he wasn’t used to expending. He felt weak, as if he could pass out at any moment. A pounding headache across his forehead and a weak unstable feeling in his knees. He had never felt this weak as a vampire. 

With each step he took, more ground appeared beneath his feet. Slowly, a sort of town came into view. It was quaint. Little wooden cottages topped with red roofs. Signs pointed out the street names and directions. He stopped to read a few, figuring out which way to head next. He hesitantly chose the town centre, deciding it was a reasonable spot to start. 

People stared at him as he walked by. He didn’t care to find out why. Years of only caring about your opinions trained him to not give them a second glance. He knew his purpose, sure of himself and confident. Although he was scared to admit that his confidence was wavering without you by his side. 

He reached the town square where an official looking building stood next to a fountain. He assumed it must be the governor’s office or some mayor’s building. Maybe he could get a list of residents? He stepped up the stairs, pulling the door open to be met with a fairly empty entranceway. There was a line of counters, behind which secretaries typed away at their typewriters and scribbled on paper with pens. He walked up to one of the open spots on the counter, face-to-face with an elderly man who’s fingers flew across the typewriter with practised ease.

“How may I help you?” His accent was thick and his tone weighted down by dull tiredness. He didn’t seem fazed by whatever had caused the other residents to stare unabashedly at Hanbin. The old man barely blinked twice at him.

“I’m looking for a list of residents in the town. I need to contact someone.” Hanbin said quietly. The man nodded, muttering that he would find a list in the back somewhere. As Hanbin was left alone for the time being, he surveyed the other people in the building, each talking at the counter as well. They were too quiet for him to make out the conversations; his hearing significantly weakened since he lost his powers. One voice stood out, though.

“No, not Hanjin— I’m looking for Hanbin! Sung Hanbin.”

Hanbin’s eyes widened, his head whipping around to try to find the owner of the loud voice. 

“How many times do I have to repeat myself? He’s about 180cm tall, has dark black hair, pale skin, and a slim face. He has to be in your records somewhere.”

“Ma’am, I’m sure we can find him, rest assured. What did you say his birthday was again?”

“June thirteenth.”

“What year?”

“25.”

“1925?”

“No. 25. The year 25. Zero, zero, two, five.”

“Ma’am, I’m not sure I follow. Do you mean to say he is over nineteen hundred years old? No human has ever—”  

Hanbin had never felt his heart race so fast. Adrenaline pulled at every muscle in his body so suddenly he could hardly comprehend what was happening before his legs were rushing him over to where you stood, arguing with the lady at the counter.

“Y/n,” He called to you, and time seemed to slow as you turned your head. “Excuse us,” He mumbled quickly to the lady at the counter, grabbing your wrist and pulling you out the door of the building. He kept walking, his hold on your arm tight, afraid you would disappear. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, entranced by his appearance. Once he had found a secluded area, he stopped walking, trailing his hand up your arm to your shoulder instead.

“What happened? Where are we?” The questions flew out of his mouth. You didn’t have an answer for him. 

“I’ve been looking for you for days.” Tears brimmed in your eyes as you looked at him. You touched his cheek with your hand. It felt warm. 

“What happened on the day of the battle?” He asked again, prying for an answer. You shook your head, tears falling. You just stepped closer, wrapping your arms around him, head against his chest. Shaky breaths in as you felt his heartbeat; steady, fast, warm. 

“I don’t want to think about it.” You told him quietly. Hanbin could only hold you, mind confused and worried. There were so many questions he had. He was sure you had the answers, if only you’d tell him. But he wouldn’t push you, not when you clearly were in a delicate mental state. 

He wished he could feel you like he used to. You had only been in his arms a few minutes, but it felt different. He couldn’t relax your body with a spell, or get a peek into your thoughts. He tried to figure you out from the outside, and that was a difficult task. 

“We should get you new clothes. These ones are soaked with blood.” You mumbled after a while, face still buried against his chest. Hanbin looked down to his sleeve, noticing for the first time that he did have very obvious stains. No wonder he got so many curious stares. He wondered what they were from. Surely, it couldn’t have been his own blood. He wasn’t injured or bleeding. 

“Y/n, what is this town?” Hanbin asked anxiously, as he spotted someone looking at you both from across the road. 

“It’s for the undead. Everyone here has already passed away, including you and me.”

“What?”

zerobaseone taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @okshu,, @chewryy,, @haecien,, @sobun1est,,

@emmylksblog,, @talkingsaxy,, @thesunsfullmoon,, @chenleszone,, @sxmmerberries,,

@cupidslovearrows,, @dimplewonie,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @mjupis,,

@kangtaehyunzzz,, @nonononranghaee,, @forever-atiny,, @nicholasluvbot,, @stantxtforabetterlife

[nostalgebraist]

information flow in transformers

In machine learning, the transformer architecture is a very commonly used type of neural network model. Many of the well-known neural nets introduced in the last few years use this architecture, including GPT-2, GPT-3, and GPT-4.

This post is about the way that computation is structured inside of a transformer.

Internally, these models pass information around in a constrained way that feels strange and limited at first glance.

Specifically, inside the "program" implemented by a transformer, each segment of "code" can only access a subset of the program's "state." If the program computes a value, and writes it into the state, that doesn't make value available to any block of code that might run after the write; instead, only some operations can access the value, while others are prohibited from seeing it.

This sounds vaguely like the kind of constraint that human programmers often put on themselves: "separation of concerns," "no global variables," "your function should only take the inputs it needs," that sort of thing.

However, the apparent analogy is misleading. The transformer constraints don't look much like anything that a human programmer would write, at least under normal circumstances. And the rationale behind them is very different from "modularity" or "separation of concerns."

(Domain experts know all about this already -- this is a pedagogical post for everyone else.)

1. setting the stage

For concreteness, let's think about a transformer that is a causal language model.

So, something like GPT-3, or the model that wrote text for @nostalgebraist-autoresponder.

Roughly speaking, this model's input is a sequence of words, like ["Fido", "is", "a", "dog"].

Since the model needs to know the order the words come in, we'll include an integer offset alongside each word, specifying the position of this element in the sequence. So, in full, our example input is

[ ("Fido", 0), ("is", 1), ("a", 2), ("dog", 3), ]

The model itself -- the neural network -- can be viewed as a single long function, which operates on a single element of the sequence. Its task is to output the next element.

Let's call the function f. If f does its job perfectly, then when applied to our example sequence, we will have

f("Fido", 0) = "is" f("is", 1) = "a" f("a", 2) = "dog"

(Note: I've omitted the index from the output type, since it's always obvious what the next index is. Also, in reality the output type is a probability distribution over words, not just a word; the goal is to put high probability on the next word. I'm ignoring this to simplify exposition.)

You may have noticed something: as written, this seems impossible!

Like, how is the function supposed to know that after ("a", 2), the next word is "dog"!? The word "a" could be followed by all sorts of things.

What makes "dog" likely, in this case, is the fact that we're talking about someone named "Fido."

That information isn't contained in ("a", 2). To do the right thing here, you need info from the whole sequence thus far -- from "Fido is a", as opposed to just "a".

How can f get this information, if its input is just a single word and an index?

This is possible because f isn't a pure function. The program has an internal state, which f can access and modify.

But f doesn't just have arbitrary read/write access to the state. Its access is constrained, in a very specific sort of way.

2. transformer-style programming

Let's get more specific about the program state.

The state consists of a series of distinct "memory regions" or "blocks," which have an order assigned to them.

Let's use the notation memory_i for these. The first block is memory_0, the second is memory_1, and so on.

In practice, a small transformer might have around 10 of these blocks, while a very large one might have 100 or more.

Each block contains a separate data-storage "cell" for each offset in the sequence.

For example, memory_0 contains a cell for position 0 ("Fido" in our example text), and a cell for position 1 ("is"), and so on. Meanwhile, memory_1 contains its own, distinct cells for each of these positions. And so does memory_2, etc.

So the overall layout looks like:

memory_0: [cell 0, cell 1, ...] memory_1: [cell 0, cell 1, ...] [...]

Our function f can interact with this program state. But it must do so in a way that conforms to a set of rules.

Here are the rules:

The function can only interact with the blocks by using a specific instruction.

This instruction is an "atomic write+read". It writes data to a block, then reads data from that block for f to use.

When the instruction writes data, it goes in the cell specified in the function offset argument. That is, the "i" in f(..., i).

When the instruction reads data, the data comes from all cells up to and including the offset argument.

The function must call the instruction exactly once for each block.

These calls must happen in order. For example, you can't do the call for memory_1 until you've done the one for memory_0.

Here's some pseudo-code, showing a generic computation of this kind:

f(x, i) { calculate some things using x and i; // next 2 lines are a single instruction write to memory_0 at position i; z0 = read from memory_0 at positions 0...i; calculate some things using x, i, and z0; // next 2 lines are a single instruction write to memory_1 at position i; z1 = read from memory_1 at positions 0...i; calculate some things using x, i, z0, and z1; [etc.] }

The rules impose a tradeoff between the amount of processing required to produce a value, and how early the value can be accessed within the function body.

Consider the moment when data is written to memory_0. This happens before anything is read (even from memory_0 itself).

So the data in memory_0 has been computed only on the basis of individual inputs like ("a," 2). It can't leverage any information about multiple words and how they relate to one another.

But just after the write to memory_0, there's a read from memory_0. This read pulls in data computed by f when it ran on all the earlier words in the sequence.

If we're processing ("a", 2) in our example, then this is the point where our code is first able to access facts like "the word 'Fido' appeared earlier in the text."

However, we still know less than we might prefer.

Recall that memory_0 gets written before anything gets read. The data living there only reflects what f knows before it can see all the other words, while it still only has access to the one word that appeared in its input.

The data we've just read does not contain a holistic, "fully processed" representation of the whole sequence so far ("Fido is a"). Instead, it contains:

a representation of ("Fido", 0) alone, computed in ignorance of the rest of the text

a representation of ("is", 1) alone, computed in ignorance of the rest of the text

a representation of ("a", 2) alone, computed in ignorance of the rest of the text

Now, once we get to memory_1, we will no longer face this problem. Stuff in memory_1 gets computed with the benefit of whatever was in memory_0. The step that computes it can "see all the words at once."

Nonetheless, the whole function is affected by a generalized version of the same quirk.

All else being equal, data stored in later blocks ought to be more useful. Suppose for instance that

memory_4 gets read/written 20% of the way through the function body, and

memory_16 gets read/written 80% of the way through the function body

Here, strictly more computation can be leveraged to produce the data in memory_16. Calculations which are simple enough to fit in the program, but too complex to fit in just 20% of the program, can be stored in memory_16 but not in memory_4.

All else being equal, then, we'd prefer to read from memory_16 rather than memory_4 if possible.

But in fact, we can only read from memory_16 once -- at a point 80% of the way through the code, when the read/write happens for that block.

The general picture looks like:

The early parts of the function can see and leverage what got computed earlier in the sequence -- by the same early parts of the function. This data is relatively "weak," since not much computation went into it. But, by the same token, we have plenty of time to further process it.

The late parts of the function can see and leverage what got computed earlier in the sequence -- by the same late parts of the function. This data is relatively "strong," since lots of computation went into it. But, by the same token, we don't have much time left to further process it.

3. why?

There are multiple ways you can "run" the program specified by f.

Here's one way, which is used when generating text, and which matches popular intuitions about how language models work:

First, we run f("Fido", 0) from start to end. The function returns "is." As a side effect, it populates cell 0 of every memory block.

Next, we run f("is", 1) from start to end. The function returns "a." As a side effect, it populates cell 1 of every memory block.

Etc.

If we're running the code like this, the constraints described earlier feel weird and pointlessly restrictive.

By the time we're running f("is", 1), we've already populated some data into every memory block, all the way up to memory_16 or whatever.

This data is already there, and contains lots of useful insights.

And yet, during the function call f("is", 1), we "forget about" this data -- only to progressively remember it again, block by block. The early parts of this call have only memory_0 to play with, and then memory_1, etc. Only at the end do we allow access to the juicy, extensively processed results that occupy the final blocks.

Why? Why not just let this call read memory_16 immediately, on the first line of code? The data is sitting there, ready to be used!

Why? Because the constraint enables a second way of running this program.

The second way is equivalent to the first, in the sense of producing the same outputs. But instead of processing one word at a time, it processes a whole sequence of words, in parallel.

Here's how it works:

In parallel, run f("Fido", 0) and f("is", 1) and f("a", 2), up until the first write+read instruction. You can do this because the functions are causally independent of one another, up to this point. We now have 3 copies of f, each at the same "line of code": the first write+read instruction.

Perform the write part of the instruction for all the copies, in parallel. This populates cells 0, 1 and 2 of memory_0.

Perform the read part of the instruction for all the copies, in parallel. Each copy of f receives some of the data just written to memory_0, covering offsets up to its own. For instance, f("is", 1) gets data from cells 0 and 1.

In parallel, continue running the 3 copies of f, covering the code between the first write+read instruction and the second.

Perform the second write. This populates cells 0, 1 and 2 of memory_1.

Perform the second read.

Repeat like this until done.

Observe that mode of operation only works if you have a complete input sequence ready before you run anything.

(You can't parallelize over later positions in the sequence if you don't know, yet, what words they contain.)

So, this won't work when the model is generating text, word by word.

But it will work if you have a bunch of texts, and you want to process those texts with the model, for the sake of updating the model so it does a better job of predicting them.

This is called "training," and it's how neural nets get made in the first place. In our programming analogy, it's how the code inside the function body gets written.

The fact that we can train in parallel over the sequence is a huge deal, and probably accounts for most (or even all) of the benefit that transformers have over earlier architectures like RNNs.

Accelerators like GPUs are really good at doing the kinds of calculations that happen inside neural nets, in parallel.

So if you can make your training process more parallel, you can effectively multiply the computing power available to it, for free. (I'm omitting many caveats here -- see this great post for details.)

Transformer training isn't maximally parallel. It's still sequential in one "dimension," namely the layers, which correspond to our write+read steps here. You can't parallelize those.

But it is, at least, parallel along some dimension, namely the sequence dimension.

The older RNN architecture, by contrast, was inherently sequential along both these dimensions. Training an RNN is, effectively, a nested for loop. But training a transformer is just a regular, single for loop.

4. tying it together

The "magical" thing about this setup is that both ways of running the model do the same thing. You are, literally, doing the same exact computation. The function can't tell whether it is being run one way or the other.

This is crucial, because we want the training process -- which uses the parallel mode -- to teach the model how to perform generation, which uses the sequential mode. Since both modes look the same from the model's perspective, this works.

This constraint -- that the code can run in parallel over the sequence, and that this must do the same thing as running it sequentially -- is the reason for everything else we noted above.

Earlier, we asked: why can't we allow later (in the sequence) invocations of f to read earlier data out of blocks like memory_16 immediately, on "the first line of code"?

And the answer is: because that would break parallelism. You'd have to run f("Fido", 0) all the way through before even starting to run f("is", 1).

By structuring the computation in this specific way, we provide the model with the benefits of recurrence -- writing things down at earlier positions, accessing them at later positions, and writing further things down which can be accessed even later -- while breaking the sequential dependencies that would ordinarily prevent a recurrent calculation from being executed in parallel.

In other words, we've found a way to create an iterative function that takes its own outputs as input -- and does so repeatedly, producing longer and longer outputs to be read off by its next invocation -- with the property that this iteration can be run in parallel.

We can run the first 10% of every iteration -- of f() and f(f()) and f(f(f())) and so on -- at the same time, before we know what will happen in the later stages of any iteration.

The call f(f()) uses all the information handed to it by f() -- eventually. But it cannot make any requests for information that would leave itself idling, waiting for f() to fully complete.

Whenever f(f()) needs a value computed by f(), it is always the value that f() -- running alongside f(f()), simultaneously -- has just written down, a mere moment ago.

No dead time, no idling, no waiting-for-the-other-guy-to-finish.

p.s.

The "memory blocks" here correspond to what are called "keys and values" in usual transformer lingo.

If you've heard the term "KV cache," it refers to the contents of the memory blocks during generation, when we're running in "sequential mode."

Usually, during generation, one keeps this state in memory and appends a new cell to each block whenever a new token is generated (and, as a result, the sequence gets longer by 1).

This is called "caching" to contrast it with the worse approach of throwing away the block contents after each generated token, and then re-generating them by running f on the whole sequence so far (not just the latest token). And then having to do that over and over, once per generated token.

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 785: Sakamichi's orders!!

Pag 1

1: From this year

2: I went from the one who receives orders

3: Onoda

Onoda!!

4: to the one who gives orders!!

Pag 2

1: Onoda Sakamichi, third Inter High

Pag 3

1: carrying the same bib number 3 as Makishima, as captain he will make history by making Sohoku win their third championship in a row!!

Pag 4

1: I'll give you your orders

When we enter the mountain, go ahead

Take the lead and climb!!

2: It's your order, take the mountain stage on the second day

When times are tough, all you need is one good goal to achieve!! “We'll carry you to the mountain”!!

I'll do my best to preserve my strength!!

3: Think....

Think of what's ahead, of what's happening now, and about the team

Pag 5

1: I have to make the best choice!!

2: Calm down....!!

Pfuuu...

Calm down

Pfuuu...

3: Look around you

4: I have to have a clear picture!!

5: The start of the mountain is approaching

6: The pack's atmosphere is changing!!

Pag 6

1: One person jumped ahead!!

2: The balance is broken!!

3: And several people are following!!

4: It's here, Onoda-kun, are you ready?

Yeah!!

5: The climbers are starting to move!!

Pag 7

1: We're entering the mountain!! From here on we're on the national highway 500!!

Pag 8

1: It's the mountain stage, climbing Mt- Hiko, once a sacred groun in Fukuoka!!

Pag 9

2: Once they pass one of the archways of the huge Shinto shrine made of stone of Mt. Hiko....

3: The real climb starts!!

Pag 10

1: Here Kyushu's Kumamoto Daichi's climber, Fujiwara, is moving!!

Kumadai is moving, chase him!!

2: I'm Higo's new generation, mokkosu!!

3: Waaaa things are getting hectic all of a sudden, teh.....!! They're going one by one chasing Kumadai-san!!

4: Calm down, Rokudai

For now, it's enough that we stay at the front fo the pack. Our problem is....

Waaa, I'm calm...!!

Pag 11

1: Our problem....

2: Our main issue....

3: is when will he move!?

6: Ha.... Hakogaku is moving!?

Is the Sky Prince going!?

He stood up

Pag 13

3: Not... yet!?

4: He just reached out to take the bottle

That scared me...

We've only just entered the mountain so from their point of view it's not time to start yet?

6: Tch

7: Not yet.....?

Pag 14

1: His opponent is Onoda, so it will most probably turn into a close battle... so, thinking about that, he plans on starting from the most efficient place?

2: Could it be that he's waiting for the Mountain King to go?

The other way around....?

3: He plans on going once the “Mountain King” moves?

Manami is

4: waiting for the Mountain King

Is that so?

Waiting for me....

Pag 15

1: …. no!!

2: That's not it!!

3: Think of what's ahead, of what's happening now, and about the team

Teh!?

4: I have to make the best decision

Everyone!!

Pag 16

1: These are your orders!!

2: “Orders”!!

3: “Orders”!!

5: Onoda-san!!

6: Onoda-kun!!

Pag 17

1: 200m from now Manami-kun will move, I'll chase him, and leave everything else to you!!

2: Danchiku-kun!!

Yessir!!

3: Please get ahead, pull the team, and clear the mountain safely

4: Yessir!!

5: Imaizumi-kun and Naruko-kun, from now on preserve your strength and get ready for the finish line

Yeah...

6: Rokudai-kun....

Teh!!

Wait, Onoda

7: How...

Pag 18

1: do you know that Manami is going to move 200m from now!?

5: Telepathy...

6: He's waiting

7: Most likely!!

“Maybe”!!

8: The beginning of this mountain is full of zigzags

9: And Manami-kun's ranks are choosing to ride on the right side very close to the guardrail

10: On the mountain, the pack

Pag 19

1: when it's time to turn a series of zigzags, temporarily stretches vertically

If it's a left turn then the cyclists on the left will take the lead, and if it's a right turn then the cyclists on the right will do that

3: From the course map it says that from the next curve the slope will slightly increase

4: It's just a conjecture, but

5: I think Manami-kun will move there

So he's waiting

For the most advantageous position for jumping forward

Pag 20

1: the next right curve!!

Pag 21

1: Manami?

2: He's going to jump forward!?

3: At the next right curve!!

Pag 25

1: Manami jumped forward!! Here!?

Huuh!?

From the lead of the vertical line!!

He opened a gap too large to close in an instant!!

2: He really jumped forward!!

3: Hakogaku' Manami is pushing on

4: I'm going to accelerate at full throttle!!

Go, Onoda-kun!!

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 14)

Hello, and welcome back to Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics! I truly cannot believe we've reached part 14 of this series, but I have had a lot of fun along the way and am so happy to be able to share all of these wonderful fics with you all!

As ever and always, thank you all so much for your continued support of this series. It continues to blow me away how many of you have liked and shared the previous parts. We'll probably be coming to the end of this series in the relatively near future, but I'm thinking of maybe doing some themed rec lists if anyone would be interested in that? Idk, we'll have to see how I feel when this series is all said and done.

Okay, that's all from me today. I hope you all have as good a day as you can, if not a great one. Oh, and don't forget about that Bad Friend Scott McCall warning.

Smoochies and squeezies!

List and links to previous/next part(s) below the cut.

************************************************************************

DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

************************************************************************

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

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Consigliere by neil4god (NR | 5/5 | 7,042)

It's been years since Danny left Beacon Hills behind and everything that happened in it. He moved on, joined the FBI and forgot all about his junior year of High School. At least he tried, but with Stiles Stilinksi leering at him from the FBI's most wanted board, well that makes it kinda hard to forget, and now they want to know all about it. They want him to talk to Stiles, worse still, they want him to wear a wire while he does it.

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Stilinski Orphanage by pineneedlepants (M | 1/1 | 10,514)

Throughout the short months Derek has been spending at the Stilinski Orphanage, he's come to a few conclusions. One, for the Stilinski's, bullying is a zero tolerance thing. There are hundreds of kids staying under their roof and they want things to be peaceful.

Of course, with that many children in one place, with different backgrounds and ethnicities, not everyone follows this rule. The thing is that because the Stilinski Orphanage is actually very popular and well respected, kids circle in and out in a decently fast cycle. Enforcing the strict no bullying rule isn't always as effective, and so sometimes, these bullies get called to the headmaster's office and then transferred to another orphanage, in a place that's far, far away from Beacon Hills.

Except Derek knows better.

He's pretty sure the Stilinskis eat the 'transferred' bullies. Not that he really cares.

-- Happy Early Halloween!

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Snow Flirting by thepsychicclam (M | 1/1 | 11,396)

As Beacon Hills get pounded with foot after foot of snow, single dad Stiles can't quite keep up with his four year old, his job, and shoveling his driveway. Derek makes his teenage son shovel Stiles' walk, and that just leads to Derek helping Stiles out with a whole bunch of other tasks. That's okay with Derek, though, cause any chance to be with Stiles is okay with him.

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stop, drop, and roll by thepsychicclam (M | 1/1 | 12,237)

Stiles knows he's in trouble when he invites the Beacon Hills Fire Department into his third grade classroom and he can't stop staring at a certain scruffy fireman. But after the third graders take a field trip to the fire station and participate in the fire department's holiday canned food drive, Stiles can't ignore his crush any longer.

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Would You Like to Make a Deal? by the_sporadic_writer (NR | 4/4 | 14,180)

Stiles never meant for everything to spin this far out of his control, never thought it would turn out this bad. Never thought that he would enjoy playing as the resident human and enjoy spending time with a pack of wolves. Never expected to get tangled up with Derek Hale of all people, and never thought that he would have enjoyed their time together.

OR, the story where Stiles is a demon and got more than he bargained for when his boredom got the better of him.

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A Tiny Bit of String by bunnymaccool (T | 1/1 | 14,382)

The pulling of a single bit of string can sometimes, perhaps, unravel the entire piece of knitting.

Sometimes the universe decides it has taken too much... and chooses to give back.

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little boy lost by crazyassmurdererwall (smartalli), smartalli (T | 1/1 | 14,862)

If someone asked Stiles to write a parenting book, Stiles would say the best and most important rule is to love your kid. Just love the hell out of them, and make sure they know it.

The second most important rule would be don’t turn your back on a curious three year old with supernatural speed.

Stiles is currently failing at the second rule. Badly.

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Claudia's Puntastic Life series by JoMouse (6 works | G | 15,410)

1. Holy Guacamole (G | 1/1 | 4,278) Derek runs into an old friend on Halloween. Inspired by that scene of Derek with the kids on Halloween - you know that one. 2. Kiss You Instead (G | 1/1 | 3,712) Derek has been invited to join Stiles and his pun-loving daughter, Claudia, for Christmas cookies and present wrapping. 3. The Happy Couple (G | 1/1 | 2,492) Derek and Claudia decide to surprise Stiles with breakfast in bed, but that's not the only surprise in the works. Day 2 of Sterek Valentine Week 2020. Theme: Breakfast in Bed. 4. It's Lit (G | 1/1 | 2,550) Claudia is scared of fireworks; Derek tries to help out. 5. Full Moon Ficlet #140 - Stir (G | 1/1 | 704) Stiles comes home to a flour-coated kitchen. 6. Spring has Sprung! (G | 1/1 | 1,674) It's Spring and Derek is thinking about the future.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Keep It Together by ravingrevolution (T | 1/1 | 23,129)

“What if I guess what you are?” Derek asked.

Stiles sighed. “Why do you even think there’s something to guess?”

Derek cocked an eyebrow at him. “You’re taking a cold bath and showing no signs of being chilled. A normal human would be shivering by now and your body temperature hasn’t dropped at all.”

Which, okay, fair point.

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Start Small, Like Oak Trees by SmallBirds (M | 1/1 | 24,237)

The months following Allison's death have passed Stiles by in a haze of monotony. He sleepwalks through days that seem to lose their color, an unwilling passenger in a body he no longer trusts. Eventually, he thinks, he'll just fade away. He isn't sure anyone would notice. Then, during a spur of the moment grocery run, he stumbles upon Derek Hale attempting to console a lost child, and for the first time in recent memory the world doesn't seem so awful. He's not sure what he'd been expecting when he eventually convinces Derek to move into the Stilinski's spare bedroom, but a newfound passion for weeding and topsoil certainly isn't it.

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I found you hidden in plain sight (why'd I take so long?) by Gorgeousgreymatter (E | 7/7 | 25,419)

Stiles is pretty sure he’s hallucinating. He’s got to be. There’s no other plausible explanation, he thinks, as he sits on the sidelines of the lacrosse field and feels the cold, hard bench underneath him, the roar of the crowd at his back like the worst white noise machine in the world.

There’s no other reason why he sees it, the hulking, black figure of a wolf peering at him from the treeline behind the bleachers. Its eyes flare in the glaring glow of the stadium lights, but they’re the wrong color, he thinks: blood-moon red instead of cobalt blue, but the familiarity of it all makes his stomach roll and clench.

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Between Dogs and Wolves by artemis69 (T | 1/1 | 25,934)

"This is…not four million in cash,” remarks Stilinski.

“Isaac. Did you fail to get my money back and decided to pick up a stripper on the road to bribe me? Because let me make this perfectly clear: this would totally work. Well done.”

Or

The mafia!AU where the Hales owe four million to the Stilinskis, Laura rents Derek (but not as a stripper), Stiles gets a new favorite, Derek gets a new boss, a new puppy and a new family.

Sometimes they break people, but mainly, they just snark at each other.

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I've Lived A Better Day by HelloWhyTheFuckAmIHere (NR | 18/18 | 32,819)

When Stiles comes across a rogue Alpha during his first year at Berkeley, the ensuing fight doesn't exactly go his way. He calls an unlikely ally to help him with his transition, and finds out his new pack isn't quite who he might have thought it would be.

Stiles is now left with the task of trying to figure out how his old life will fit in with his new, but that is not without its challenges.

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It's A-Boat Time! by Fae_vorite, isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (T | 1/1 | 33,681)

He could hear the others talking outside, Scott and Isaac freaking out over something and Stiles snapping at them to shut up and help him get inside.

“Dude, how the fuck can you expect me to stay calm right now! Seriously, that’s a fucking tail!”

“We can talk about it later, just get me inside before someone fucking sees me! I don’t want to end up in a fucking aquarium!”

“Christ, you’re heavy!” Isaac grunted. “How much does this thing weigh?!”

“Shut up and walk,” Stiles snapped.

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Blindsided by AClosedFicIsNeverRead (E | 16/16 | 39,664)

Derek exhaled tremulously and tried to stay calm. He called several more times, growing steadily more frantic each time, before allowing the truth to settle in: Stiles’ phone was off. “No. No, no, no, please, no,” Derek whispered to himself, barely able to see the screen through his tearful eyes. What had he done? Had he been so blinded by rage that he dismissed Stiles' call for help?

- OR -

Fuming over Scott's betrayal, the Alpha is out of his mind with anger. When he receives a call from Stiles in that incredibly inopportune moment, he does not even let the teen speak - just screams at him, blames him for everything, and hangs up. But then Erica and Boyd show up, frantically insisting that Stiles is out there somewhere, likely hanging onto life by a thread after being tortured for hours... Will they be able to find Stiles before it's too late? And just how much of the Stiles they know will be left if they do manage to track him down?

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The More That I Know You (the more I want to) by LadySlytherin (M | 1/1 | 43,656)

When death, in the form of hunters, comes for a family of Kelpies seeking refuge in the Preserve - in Hale territory - the Hale Pack is too late to save them. Before he dies, the male Kelpie presses a precious bundle into Stiles’ arms and begs the Emissary to take responsibility for it, which an initially reluctant Stiles does. When he agreed, Stiles had no idea what the sight of him with a baby would do to his esteemed Alpha, Derek. If he’d known, he might not have been so reluctant to agree.

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let's get lost by hot_damn_louis (NR | 12/12 | 57,232)

Stiles was used to hiding things from those close to him. He hid his grief from his dad, his anger from Scott, and the deep sadness from everyone else. Somehow, he can't seem to hide anything from Derek, who is now acting more and more like a real person. Maybe even a friend. All Stiles wants is to feel normal, and Derek seems to be the most normal thing in his life.

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Intention by AlliDee12, ReadablePlot (E | 14/14 | 125,612)

The idea of making things better clings to Stiles: He needs to undo even a fraction of what he did, stop it from happening again, make something around him better in a way he can't for himself.

And things do get better, for all of five minutes.

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A Teenage Love Song by HaleHathNoFury (My_Trex_has_fleas) (E | 26/26 | 155,834)

Stiles is sick and tired of how much he fucks up. His dad is disappointed, his step-mom judges and his step-brother can do no wrong. It's not that he doesn't love them, he just gets so tired of being different. Now he's being moved lock, stock and barrel to Beacon Hills aka the town his mom grew up in so they can go live in his grandma's house and his father can get him back on the straight and narrow.

It's going to suck.

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You're stronger than you know by Littleredridinghunter (NR | 15/15 | 234,195)

Set at the end of season 2, Stiles survives his encounter with Gerard and his goons, but it isn't easy.

The pack are letting him down again, his dad is not speaking to him, his life is just generally falling apart.

Until he has to get a bronze dagger to kill a siren and his whole world gets flipped on it's head!

My summaries are rubbish but I hope you'll still give it a chance!

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************************************************************************

[blueskittlesart]

I've heard that while most people really really love BotW and TotK, some people hate those two for going open-world, and some people hate TotK specifically for something about the story. As the resident Zelda expert I know of, what do you think of those takes?

"something about the story" is a bit too vague for me to answer--if you look at my totk liveblog tag from back when the game was newly released or my general zelda analysis tag you may be able to find some of my in-depth thoughts about the story of totk, but in general i liked it.

the open world thing though is something i can and will talk about for hours. (I am obsessed with loz and game design and this is an essay now <3) breath of the wild is a game that was so well-received that a lot of the criticism from older fans who were expecting something closer to the classic zelda formula was just kind of immediately drowned out and ignored, and while i don't think it's a valid criticism to suggest that botw strayed too far from its origins in going open-world, i am more than willing to look into those criticisms, why they exist, and why i think going open-world was ultimately the best decision botw devs could have made. (totk is a slightly different story, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.)

Loz is a franchise with a ton of history and a ton of really, REALLY dedicated fans. it's probably second only to mario in terms of recognizability and impact in nintendo's catalog. To us younger fans, the older games can sometimes seem, like, prehistoric when compared to what we're used to nowadays, but it's important to remember just how YOUNG the gaming industry is and how rapidly it's changed and grown. the first zelda game was released in 1986, which was 31 years before botw came out in 2017. What this means for nintendo and its developers is that they have to walk a very fine line between catering to older fans in their 30s and 40s now who would have been in nintendo's prime demographic when the first few games in the franchise were coming out AND making a game that's engaging to their MODERN target demographic and that age group's expectations for what a gaming experience should look like.

LOZ is in kind of a tough spot when it comes to modernizing, because a lot of its core gameplay elements are very much staples of early RPGs, and a lot of those gameplay elements have been phased out of modern RPGs for one reason or another. gathering collectibles, fighting one's way through multilevel, mapless dungeons, and especially classic zelda's relative lack of guidance through the story are all things that date games and which modern audiences tend to get frustrated with. for the last few releases before botw, the devs had kind of been playing with this -- skyward sword in particular is what i consider their big experiment and what (i think) became the driving force behind a lot of what happened with botw. Skyward sword attempted to solve the issues I listed by, basically, making the map small and the story much, much more blatantly linear. Skyward sword feels much more like other modern rpgs to me than most zelda games in terms of its playstyle, because the game is constantly pushing you to do specific things. this is a common storytelling style in modern RPGs--obviously, the player usually needs to take specific actions in order to progress the story, and so when there's downtime between story sections the supporting characters push the player towards the next goal. but this actually isn't what loz games usually do. in the standard loz formula, you as the player are generally directly given at most 4 objectives. these objectives will (roughly) be as follows: 1. go through some dungeons and defeat their bosses, 2. claim the master sword, 3. go through another set of dungeons and defeat their bosses, 4. defeat the final boss of the game. (not necessarily in that order, although that order is the standard formula.) the ONLY time the player will be expressly pushed by supporting characters towards a certain action (excluding guide characters) is when the game is first presenting them with those objectives. in-between dungeons and other gameplay segments, there's no sense of urgency, no one pushing you onto the next task. this method of storytelling encourages players to take their time and explore the world they're in, which in turn helps them find the collectibles and puzzles traditionally hidden around the map that will make it easier for them to continue on. Skyward sword, as previously mentioned, experimented with breaking this formula a bit--its overworld was small and unlocked sequentially, so you couldn't explore it fully without progressing the narrative, and it gave players a "home base" to return to in skyloft which housed many of the puzzles and collectibles rather than scattering them throughout the overworld. This method worked... to an extent, but it also meant that skyward sword felt drastically different in its storytelling and how its narrative was presented to the player than its predecessors. this isn't necessarily a BAD thing, but i am of the opinion that one of zelda's strongest elements has always been the level of immersion and relatability its stories have, and the constant push to continue the narrative has the potential to pull players out of your story a bit, making skyward sword slightly less engaging to the viewer than other games in the franchise. (to address the elephant in the room, there were also obviously some other major issues with the design of sksw that messed with player immersion, but imo even if the control scheme had been perfect on the first try, the hyperlinear method would STILL have been less engaging to a player than the standard exploration-based zeldas.)

So when people say that botw was the first open-world zelda, I'm not actually sure how true I personally believe that is. I think a lot of the initial hype surrounding botw's open map were tainted by what came before it--compared to the truly linear, intensely restricted map of skyward sword, botw's map feels INSANE. but strictly speaking, botw actually sticks pretty closely to the standard zelda gameplay experience, at least as far as the overworld map is concerned. from the beginning, one of the draws of loz is that there's a large, populated map that you as the player can explore (relatively) freely. it was UNUSUAL for the player to not have access to almost the entire map either immediately or very quickly after beginning a new zelda game. (the size and population of these maps was restricted by software and storage capabilities in earlier games, but pretty muhc every zelda game has what would have been considered a large & well populated map at the time of its release.) what truly made botw different was two things; the first being the sheer SIZE of the map and the second being the lack of dungeons and collectibles in a traditional sense. Everything that needs to be said about the size of the map already has been said: it's huge and it's crazy and it's executed PERFECTLY and it's never been done before and every game since has been trying to replicate it. nothing much else to say there. but I do want to talk about the percieved difference in gameplay as it relates to the open-world collectibles and dungeons, because, again, i don't think it's actually as big of a difference as people seem to think it is.

Once again, let's look at the classic formula. I'm going to start with the collectibles and lead into the dungeons. The main classic collectible that's a staple of every zelda game pre-botw is the heart piece. This is a quarter of a heart that will usually be sitting out somewhere in the open world or in a dungeon, and will require the player to either solve a puzzle or perform a specific action to get. botw is the first game to not include heart pieces... TECHNICALLY. but in practice, they're still there, just renamed. they're spirit orbs now, and rather than being hidden in puzzles within the overworld (with no explanation as to how or why they ended up there, mind you) they're hidden within shrines, and they're given a clear purpose for existing throughout hyrule and for requiring puzzle-solving skills to access. Functionally, these two items are exactly the same--it's an object that gives you an extra heart container once you collect four of them. no major difference beyond a reskin and renaming to make the object make sense within the greater world instead of just having a little ❤️ floating randomly in the middle of their otherwise hyperrealistic scenery. the heart piece vs spirit orb i think is a good microcosm of the "it's too different" criticisms of botw as a whole--is it ACTUALLY that different, or is it just repackaged in a way that doesn't make it immediately obvious what you're looking at anymore? I think it's worth noting that botw gives a narrative reason for that visual/linguistic disconnect from other games, too--it's set at minimum TEN THOUSAND YEARS after any other given game. while we don't have any concrete information about how much time passes between new-incarnation games, it's safe to assume that botw is significantly further removed from other incarnations of hyrule/link/zelda/etc than any other game on the timeline. It's not at all inconceivable within the context of the game that heart pieces may have changed form or come to be known by a different name. most of the changes between botw and other games can be reasoned away this way, because most of them have SOME obvious origins in a previous game mechanic, it's just been updated for botw's specific setting and narrative.

The dungeons ARE an actual departure from the classic formula, i will grant you. the usual way a zelda dungeon works is that link enters the dungeon, solves a few puzzles, fights a mini boss at about the halfway point, and after defeating the mini boss he gets a dungeon item which makes the second half of the dungeon accessible. He then uses that item in the dungeon's final boss fight, which is specifically engineered with that item in mind as the catalyst to win it. Botw's dungeons are the divine beasts. we've removed the presence of mini-bosses entirely, because the 'dungeon items' aren't something link needs to get within the dungeon itself--he alredy has them. they're the sheikah slate runes: magnesis, cryonis, stasis, and remote bombs. Each of the divine beast blight battles is actually built around using one of these runes to win it--cryonis to break waterblight's ice projectiles, magnesis to strike down thunderblight with its own lightning rods, remote bombs to take out fireblight's shield. (i ASSUME there's some way to use stasis effectively against windblight, mostly because it's obvious to me that that's how all the other fights were designed, but in practice it's the best strategy for that fight is to just slow down time via aerial archery, so i've never tried to win that way lol.) So even though we've removed traditional dungeon items and mini-boss fights, the bones of the franchise remain unchanged underneath. this is what makes botw such an ingenious move for this franchise imo; the fact that it manages to update itself into such a beautiful, engaging, MODERN game while still retaining the underlying structure that defines its franchise and the games that came before it. botw is an effective modern installment to this 30-year-old franchise because it takes what made the old games great and updates it in a way that still stays true to the core of the franchise.

I did mention totk in my opening paragraph and you mention it in your ask so i have to come back to it somehow. Do i think that totk did the gigantic-open-world thing as well as botw did? no. But i also don't really think there was any other direction to go with that game specifically. botw literally changed the landscape of game development when it was released. I KNOW you all remember how for a good year or two after botw's release, EVERY SINGLE GAME that came out HAD to have a massive open-world map, regardless of whether or not that actually made sense for that game. (pokemon is still suffering from the effects of that botw-driven open world craze to this day. rip scarlet/violet your gameplay was SUCH dogshit) I'm not sure to what degree nintendo and the botw devs anticipated that success, (I remember the open world and the versatility in terms of problem-solving being the two main advertising angles pre-release, but it's been 7 years. oh jesus christ it's been SEVEN YEARS. anyways) but in any case, there's basically NO WAY that they anticipated their specific gameplay style taking off to that degree. That's not something you can predict. When creating totk, they were once again walking that line between old and new, but because they were only 3ish years out from botw when totk went into development, they were REALLY under pressure to stay true to what it was that had made botw such an insane success. I think that's probably what led to the expanded map in the sky and depths as well as the fuse/build mechanics--they basically took their two big draws from botw, big map and versatility, and said ok BIGGER MAP and MORE VERSATILITY. Was this effective? yeah. do i think they maybe could have made a more engaging and well-rounded game if they'd been willing to diverge a little more from botw? also yeah. I won't say that I wanted totk to be skyward sword-style linear, because literally no one wanted that, but I do think that because of the insane wave of success that botw's huge open world brought in the developers were under pressure to stay very true to botw in their designing the gameplay of totk, and I think that both the gameplay and story might have been a bit more engaging if they had been allowed to experiment a little more in their delivery of the material.

[thebluemallet]

EARLY Predictions for Bridgerton Season 4

BENEDICT IS OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED TO BE THE LEAD FOR SEASON 4!

I've had this in my drafts for a couple of weeks. But now that Benophie is officially happening next season, I have some EARLY predictions for the next season. I'll have more predictions when we finally have a clip or a trailer, but for now I'm gonna cast a wide net for what I think will happen in season 4.

1- MASQUERADE!

They really name-dropped that masquerade ball like Tahani Al-Jamil name drops her celebrity friends. And they mentioned it in the promo with Luke T. The masquerade ball is happening! My guess is it'll happen somewhere in the first two episodes of season 4. This will be where Benedict meets his Cinderella/mysterious Lady In Silver/Sophie Beckett.

The code name for season 4 is supposed to be Vauxhall, where we saw Daphne and Simon launch their fake dating plot in season 1. That was a public ball, which means that anybody who could pay the fee could get into it. Perhaps we'll return there for the masquerade ball. Makes much more sense for Sophie to be able to crash that instead of a private ball at the Bridgerton house.

Let's just hope her carriage doesn't turn into a pumpkin before she can make her escape.

2- A Possible Time Jump

In Benedict's book, he meets Sophie at the masquerade, she runs away at midnight, and then he doesn't see her again for another two years. I think a time jump could happen again. Specifically for a few of my upcoming predictions.

Also, it would add to the drama.

Can you imagine the reaction from the fans with the screen fades to black and then some text fades in that reads TWO YEARS LATER?

3- Kate and Anthony Might Not Make An Appearance Next Season

Possibly an unpopular opinion, but I almost dont know why they bothered with having Kate and Anthony in season 3. It seemed like it boiled down to "We're here! We're hot! We're horny! And we're fucking off now! Bye!"

At least when Daphne showed up in Anthony's season she helped drive the plot forward and tried to help guide her brother on the bumpy road to matrimony. Anthony had one half-assed conversation with Colin about his engagement to Penelope. Kate did most of the heavy-lifting when it came to important talks with the family. She did most of the talking to Colin the night before his wedding to Penelope. (Not that it mattered because all of her work was undone the moment Charlotte showed up to the wedding.)

Kate also gets credit for speaking with Eloise to try and smooth things over between her and Colin. And then they left their family for a third time to go all the way to India, a journey that's going to take them six months one way.

But with a time jump, that would give enough time for Anthony and Kate to go to India, have their baby, spend some time there, and then make the long journey back to be present after the time jump with a toddler.

(With how pregnant Kate was looking at the wedding, I would not be surprised if she gave birth at sea. She and Anthony did not think that plan through at all. And why the hell did they leave without attending Francesca's wedding??? And when the Queen was certain that a Bridgerton was behind Lady Whistledown???)

Anthony and Kate being absent would also be a convenient way to keep the Bridgerton House set around for a little while longer.

Anyway, sending Kate and Anthony off to India felt like a way to let Jonny and Simone do other projects for a season instead. Jonny himself is probably gonna be busy with all of the press for the upcoming Wicked movie. So if the announcement comes that they won't be around, I wouldn't be surprised.

4- Last Season for Queen Charlotte Queen Charlotte Lives Forever!

Bridgerton is not known for being 100% historically accurate. And let's face it, even if it were, people would still be complaining about the historical inconsistencies. But one thing Bridgerton is creeping up on is the year 1818. And it's in November of that year that the real-life Queen Charlotte passed away.

Season 4 will, I assume, start in 1816. If they do a one-year time jump, we'll get the rest of the season in 1817 when the main events of Benedict's book take place. If they do a two-year time jump, like they did in the books, then we'll be in 1818 and we'll be in the year we say goodbye to Queen Charlotte.

BUT, the showrunners have pretty much said that they've decided the show exists in an "alternate universe" and they're just going to keep Queen Charlotte around for a while.

The Queen lives. Long live the Queen.

5- Eloise Meets Sir Phillip Crane (?)

While the masquerade references were heavy-handed, the references to Philoise were more subtle. In episode 3x02, Eloise wears a dress that is patterned with the same flower that was gifted to her by Sir Phillip in the books. And in 3x05, when trying to make herself feel better about her betrothal, Cressida tells Eloise that the two of them can "flirt with widowers." The showrunners are slowly setting up the Eloise/Phillip dynamic--they have been since season 1. I think they'll set more things into motion in season 4 and set them up for season 5.

Eloise already expressed to Kate how she felt as if everyone was pairing off and leaving her behind. Benedict's marriage will end up being the tipping point for Eloise.

Phillip would have lived the life of a botanist/academic if it weren't for his brother's tragic passing. Perhaps his academic connections could play a part in Eloise's desire to meet new people and change the world?

If they meet in season 4, it could be the catalyst for them to begin to exchange letters like they did in the books. Which will ultimately set them up for their story in season 5.

Of course, this also means that Marina is going to have to die offscreen at some point 😐

6- Cressida Redemption (?)

One of my major gripes with season 3 was that they gave so much time to the threesome subplot that two other subplots seemed to have no real conclusion or were dropped completely. One of the subplots that didn't get wrapped up as nicely as it could have was Cressida's. We didn't see her reaction to Penelope unmasking herself as Lady Whistledown. She just kind of...left.

There is a long-standing fan theory that Cressida will have a part to play in the Benedict/Sophie story based on a piece of script that named Cressida's mother "Araminta". If this is true, then I think we'll see Cressida in some way next season. And maybe she'll get a happier ending. I never thought at the beginning of the show that I'd want Cressida to end up happy somewhere, but boy season 3 did a great job of making me actually sympathetic to her character.

7- Another Offscreen Wedding

One thing that I know frustrated Kathony fans last season was not seeing an onscreen wedding for Kate and Anthony. I mean, we saw a wedding, and Kate and Anthony were there, but he almost got married to the wrong person. The closest we got was Anthony disassociating so hard that he astral projected himself into an alternate reality.

The only onscreen weddings to canonical spouses we've seen have been the Daphne/Simon, Colin/Penelope, and Francesca/John weddings. But if anybody was hoping to see an onscreen wedding with Benedict in season 4, think again.

I believe that the drama of Benedict and Sophie's story will keep up through all eight episodes of their season. And, like Kate and Anthony's season, we'll flash forward in time at the end of the episode to Benedict and Sophie several months into their marriage. But we won't get to see the actual wedding.

8- Crossdressing Sophie (?)

Admittedly, this is less of a prediction and more wishful thinking on my part. This is the route I would go down if I was writing for the show, anyway.

Show!Benedict now being canonically pansexual has opened up the possibility for him to have an LGBTQ+ partner. But I have a slightly different idea. One plot point of Benedict's book is that Sophie, after running away from her stepmother's house, cuts off all of her hair to sell when she's desperate for money.

I think Show!Sophie could still get her hair cut off like in the book, and then go around disguised as a man for safety/freedom of movement/job opportunities. Then Benedict gets confused when he discovers Sophie in "boy mode" because he hasn't felt this level of attraction to someone since his Lady In Silver.

Maybe we'll get a Victor/Victoria scenario out of it (woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman).

Like I said, this is less of a prediction and more of the route I would go down if I was writing for the show. It probably won't happen this way. But maybe I'll give fanfic writers some plot bunnies.

[quinacridonered]

ROP Recap - Season 2, Episode 5

Ring of Power: Wear meeeeeeee!

Entire World: Don’t wear it!

King Durin: *wears it*

Prince Durin: Dad? 

King Durin: SIRE! Dig over here.

Prince Durin: Sire! Who is also Dad! You’ll bury us!

King Durin: Get out of my way or I will bury *you* specifically.

Sun Shaft: *emerges*

King Durin: If you don’t do what I tell you, our previous falling out will be your best family memory.

Prince Durin: This seems like a lot even for you.

--

Celebrimbor: Work party! Dwarves and elves! Awkward standing around! Mediocre beverage!

Sauron: Too bad about that First Age wine.

Celebrimbor: ’Tis a loss for the world.

Sauron: You know what will fix it? Rings for Men.

Celebrimbor: Not this again.

Sauron: I already put on a Broadway-level production to convince you. Are we gonna have to upgrade to Vegas? 

Celebrimbor: If we give humans anything, it should be something like Xanax.

Sauron: Have to do everything myself around here.

Assistants: We'll help!

Celebrimbor: At what point did I completely lose control of my own ring factory?

Sauron: Probably back when I wandered in wearing Halbrand pyjamas.

--

Pharazon: If a mob made me king, does this constitute a democracy?

Miriel: We should ask the eagle.

Pharazon: The eagle has already spoken.

--

Eärien: Dad? You are demoted.

Elendil: This is the kid I’m stuck with.

Miriel: Wow.

Elendil: You should have seen her as a teen.

--

Dwarf Business Improvement Association: What news, King Durin?

King Durin: I give you magic rings. You give me half your money.

Dwarf Business Improvement Association: This seems like a lot even for you.

--

King Durin: Dig, motherfuckers! DIG!

Disa: We’re digging too much.

Prince Durin: I thought you wanted him to?

Disa: Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.

King Durin: I’m proud of you, my son!

Prince Durin: You’re right. He’s off his rocker.

--

Invisible Mirdania: AAAAAAAAH!

Celebrimbor: On the plus side, now we know how to make rings of invisibility.

Visible Mirdania: The unseen world sucks and I want to unsee it! What was that demon?

Sauron: Your boss.

Mirdania: You mean you?

Sauron: Your other boss.

Mirdania: Obviously.

--

Prince Durin: The ring you gave us is fucked up.

Celebrimbor: Did you fuck up the ring?

Sauron: Is it me who is a lying liar?

Celebrimbor: …No?

Sauron: Is it you perchance?

Celebrimbor: …Yes? Oh god, what do I do?

Sauron: Make more rings.

Celebrimbor: Obviously.

Sauron: Thank god, your prefrontal cortex is no longer working.

--

Kevin: Guards! Rough up the faithful!

Valandil: Or we could rough up Kevin.

Kevin: *kills Valandil*

Elendil: My son-in-law, everyone.

Kevin: To your chagrin and mine.

--

Sauron: Can I play with your hair and pretend you are my ex?

Mirdania: You are beautiful, good at smithing and 600 meters tall. You can do whatever you want.

Eregion Industries HR Department: Would you like to report workplace harassment, defined as vexatious conduct that is known or reasonably ought to be known to be unwelcome?

Mirdania: To be perfectly honest, he is welcome to vex me straight into next week. Or next fiscal year, for that matter.

Sauron: Noted.

HR Department: We tried.

--

Galadriel: A star shines upon me taking you hostage, asshole.

Orc Daddy: Ex-of-Sauron Support Group is now in session.

Galadriel: He’s not my ex!

Orc Daddy: Does the thought bring you relief and regret in vast and equal measure?

Galadriel: Crap. It does.

Orc Daddy: Welcome to the group, Galadriel.

---

More recaps:

Season 2, Episode 1

Season 2, Episode 2

Season 2, Episode 3

Season 2, Episode 4

[jamiedc-they-them]

Good People Part V - Can't Be For Nothing (Platonic)

Summary: War. Revelations of two-hundred years ago, and of a night that won't leave your mind. A new world is seemingly born; as is a new family.

Episodes 7/8

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Note: Thank you all for following this journey! I will probably do a post mortem on it; exploring my ideas going in, what changed and such. Hope you enjoy it when that comes! I'll link it here when I write it!

"We don't have oysters in my vault," Lucy says, making you and Maximus turn around, "we have canned tuna. But, if you like oysters, I'm pretty sure you'll like canned tuna," you both don't know what to say. You both look at each other, then back at Lucy, and just nod. Maybe. Maybe not.

She chuckles, nervously. Then --

"I was supposed to marry a stranger from another vault," she blurts out.

"I thought you were meant to marry your cousin?" you question.

"Wait, what--?!"

"Well," Lucy says, correcting you on the timeline, "I was. But, I didn't really want to. I didn't feel a - connection. I guess I...I did with this one...as he - as he, uh, as he stabbed me. But, look, my point is, I don't have the best luck when it comes to strangers. But...Titus...Y/N...you are the best strangers that I have ever met. You're good people. You deserve nice things. You deserve a home, and a roof over your head. And to not have to fight anymore. And, if you wanted to, you could both come and live with us in Vault 33."

There's a look in her eyes as she looks at Maximus - Titus, the knight who isn't a knight; he'd told you before the whole thing in the vault happened. Sure, you didn't like being lied to about his identity; but, a good person was a good person - and it's a look you've seen before. Romantic love. Attraction. Even out here, it blossoms.

You never wanted that in your life. Friendships were enough for you. So, as quietly as you can, you back away. You go through the doors, letting your friends have their moment together.

It gives you a moment to process. Maximus. Why'd he be honest with you at first? Why not lie. Maybe it was getting too hard for him. Maybe he thought, one slip would be ok. He bet right, it seemed. You didn't tell anyone. Maybe you were a good person. Maybe you did deserve a second chance at life. Another sis-

"Hey," Lucy says, as she leaves with Maximus. He nods to you, you nod back.

"Are you both all square?" you ask.

She looks to Maximus, nodding with a soft smile, "yeah, we're good," she looks back to you, "you ok with a roomie in the vault?"

You look at Maximus, "he ain't so bad company, for a non-red," he snorts at your wording, "I think we'll manage."

Lucy nods, a spring in her step as she walks, leading the way, "let's go get that head, and go home, huh?"

Maximus stands next to you, "ready to go home?" he asks, looking at you.

"Yeah," you say, arms folded. You bump your arm on his, "let's go home."

You, finally, find Thaddaeus, as he sits near a radio station. You see the booby traps, but all three of you pause. Perception working in tandem.

Gunshots are next. However, luck seems to intervene. They all miss. Still, the hands go up. You're not a threat to him. You just want the head.

If anything, though, he's a threat to himself. As he backs up, an arrow goes through his neck. However...he lives still.

His reaction:

"Aw, no! Awwww!"

Then you hear it. Your pulse picks up. Your hand goes into a fist. You feel the nails break skin.

Vertibird. The Brotherhood are here. Your breath picks up.

Maximus breaks one of the heads left behind. He says things to Lucy, then to you. He looks concerned, but doesn't have time to help. He gives you a light push. Lucy takes your hand. Everything sounds underwater. The only thing you can hear is that fucking Vertibird.

You follow Lucy. She keeps a grasp on your hand. You take her gun, just in case.

You make it far away. Or, what you hope to christ constitutes too far away.

You lean against a dead tree, going down to your knees.

Lucy puts the fresh - well, not really fresh, but new - head into a bag and ties it to her belt, before kneeling down next to you. She's seen you feel. But, never to this extent.

"Ok. Ok. Okey Dokey, Luce, you can do this. You can do this. Your friend needs you. Your friend needs you," she tells herself. The old self is still there.

"Y/N?" she asks, softly, "Y/N, I need you to look at me. Focus on my voice," she says. Chet would sometimes get overworked with things. So, she had some practice. But never with someone so trapped in themselves as you.

"Are - is touch ok?" that breaks through, and you nod.

"Ok. Ok, that's - that's, uh, that's good. That’s good, Y/N,” she may be out of her depth - but you need her, and so she’d do all she could, “that’s good. Can you try to take some breaths with me?”

She takes a deep one in. You follow. She sees you now. Whatever the Brotherhood had done before, it had destroyed you.

“Do you wanna tell me what happened?” she asks.

“Just…” you take some more breaths, “just bad memories of the Brotherhood,” you chuckle, but it’s anything but a laugh, “Jesus, Luce. Whatever is in that head, it’s gonna change the world, whoever get their hands on it. You know,” you say, smiling a bit, “we could just run. You and me, huh? Just not let anyone get that fucking head.”

Despite what Lucy would leave behind, she smiles, “it’s a nice idea,” she says, “but, I need to get my dad back. I need to know why Moldaver took him. I need to put this all behind me, one way or another. That,” she stands up, and offers you a hand, “and I made you a promise. A place in my vault. Safety. This place sucks, but it sucks a lot less with someone by my side. And, I’m not leaving you. I’ll wait as long as I need to.”

You’ve seen loyalty like that before. Or had seen it. It hadn’t been followed through on. But, here was someone who you had known for two weeks, who was following through on a thing someone who you had known your entire life didn’t do. 

So, you nod. You can tell her later your full trauma. Right now, she needs you. 

You take her hand, and continue along your way. You hope Maximus is ok. And, selfishly, you hope he can buy you the time you need to get this done. 

You make it to your destination. Finally, People with guns surround you, but neither of you flinch. The doors open, and in you go. 

You walk through a garden, seeing kids running around. A community. Home. Safety. Family. Life continues on, even throughout all of this shit.

Lucy and you get to the entrance to the observatory. Lucy is let in, but you aren’t.

“No,” she says, voice firm, “they come too. They’re family. Moldaver doesn’t get this head if Y/N doesn’t come with me.”

Begrudgingly, the man lets you pass. 

You reach the doors.

“You ready?” you ask your best friend. She takes a deep breath in, and nods.

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Hey,” you say, nudging her, “I’m right here, ok? Like I said, offer still stands.”

She smiles, “I know.”

You enter the room. It’s a grand view, you’ll give it that. See almost the whole wasteland from here. 

You stay back, keeping an eye on things from afar.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about this moment,” Lucy says to Moldaver, “you wouldn’t believe the things that went through my head. One night…I, I actually tried to stuff a grenade into the neck hole; but, I guess I thought that, really, I was gonna walk in here and…blow everybody up. But it's not really how I was raised. That, and I was stopped by that person over there,” she nudges her head to you. You give a wave, a sarcastic one as you then go back to keeping an eye on thing. So, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna keep things civil.”

Moldaver takes what she needs. It wasn’t his head after all. It was his neck. A blue, small, shining little thing that caused all this bloodshed?

She then makes Lucy an offer. One to fully learn who her father is. To fully understand how Moldaver knows him; and why she did what she did. 

Her father tries to make her not listen. He even looks to you, “you can stop this, you know. She’s your friend, protect her!” He demands.

You look at him, and a part of you wants to. You look at Lucy, she does a slight - almost unnoticeable, but not to you - shake of her head.

“It’s her choice,” you say. The man snarls at you.

Moldaver continues. She tells a story. A story about how her father had been around for a long time. 

“Part of an organisation that thought they had the answers to all the world’s problems…” she continues the story. Saying about the people he was a part of. Vault Tec.

“He never told you where he’s really from, when he’s from. He never told your mother, either…”

Lucy takes the bait. Your hand moves towards your gun. Her father may be in a cell, but he’s a dangerous man - who has been around for a long time.

Lucy is described as just like her mother: kind, loving, curious.

“Isn’t that why you came to the surface? Moldaver asks, “partly to rescue your father, but…to know why I took him.”

Lucy looks at you. She’s been read like a book.

Moldaver then looks to you, “have I seen you before?” 

You look at Moldaver, tilting your head before shaking it.

She studies you for a moment. Then, her eyes light up in realisation. They’re not cruel, though. Just realisation. That’s the only look in her eyes.

“Ah. Y/L/N, right?” she takes your frozen stance as a ‘yes’ before continuing, “I knew her.”

“...’Knew’?” you ask, throat tightening.

“Stop,” Lucy’s dad says. You don’t know why. There’s a slight ringing in your ears.

“Lucy deserves to know the truth,” Moldaver spits at the man, eyes still firmly locked on yours, “so Y/N does too. You came all this way with her, to deliver something for someone you didn’t even know. That sounds like your sister to me,” it’s not said tauntingly. It’s not said with any negative connotation. It’s just simply said. 

“You knew her?” is all you can repeat.

Moldaver nods, “I did. She thought you died out there, that night the raiders came. The night the Brotherhood made their own mess of things. She survived. Barely, but, she did survive. We took her in. She helped us anyway she could. Some sort of thanks, but also I think a punishment to herself for seemingly losing you,” you look to Lucy, who looks in concern, but also a hunger to know - to know about herself and her mother, and how her father ties into all this; a hunger to know about you, about what made you this way. 

Curious, as Moldaver said.

“She was a fighter,” Moldaver continues, “just like you are. Sure, you can shoot and hit things. But, you, no. No, you are more in battle up here,” she says, tapping her head, “now, that is a battle I can fully respect. It isn’t easy fighting a battle like that. Wanting to hurt people, and yourself,” your eyes drift, meeting the eyes of Lucy’s father. He doesn’t say anything.

“No, don’t look at him,” Moldaver says, “he doesn’t care about hurting anyone. He’d hurt his own daughter before he got hurt himself.”

“How dare –!”

“How’d she die?” you ask. The words were easier to come out than you thought. Your eyes go back to Moldaver. Your fist clenches again. You feel it pierce skin.

“I think you know,” Moldaver says, a bit of empathy slipping through.

You blink, or try to blink, the tears away, “raiders.”

She nods.

You cave inwards. You hear your heartbeat. You hear echoes of your sister’s voice. You feel everything you did on that night. The fear. The pain as a wound opened up from a knife. The relief at the Brotherhood arriving. The dread at them just cutting everything and anything down. You played dead. You remember waking up hours later, on top of the rotting pile of one of your friends who had left you for raiders. You remember looking around, not finding your sister. The panic. Then the pain. Then the rage. Then the numbness. You lost…it couldn’t have been years, could it? It could’ve been for all you knew. You just wandered. And hurt. Sometimes even got pissed on. Sometimes did the pissing. You were sometimes the victim, and sometimes the aggressive. Sometimes innocent. Sometimes guilty.

You hear the alarm, then feel someone grab your arm. Your eyes open, it’s Moldaver. She nods to the door. Your fingers are removed from your flesh. You gasp. Moldaver gives you a pat on the arm, before leaving with her people. You run to the massive hole in the building, seeing the Brotherhood arrive. You pray with everything in you that Maximus isn’t in one of the suits. You look to Lucy, then nod. You go to the door. 

As if having sixth sense, Lucy turns around and sees you heading for the door, “where are you going?!” she asks, alarmed.

You pause at the door, hand hovering just over the handle. 

“Y/N? Where are you going?”

You don’t turn to look at your friend. Instead, you shut your eyes and answer:

“I’ll buy you some time.��

“What–? What, Y/N that’s - that’s suicide!” She moves forward, grabbing your arm, making you turn to look at her.

What she sees makes her pause.

It’s the same look she gave Norm when she hid him. A protective fire. One that could be used for limitless energy just like the Cold Fusion that everyone was fighting over.

It’s then. Right then and there, she lets herself say it to herself.

Sisterly. It is sisterly, how she feels towards you. You were like Norm, someone she just accepted and would do anything for. You’re family. 

You seem to have that same realisation. Given the look in your eyes.

It is the sibling telling the other: I will sort this out. Do not come out until then. I love you.

But, instead of a camera reel burning to project the living hell being brought down upon you all. The whole world seems to be burning that fiery red instead. Burning and crumbling down all around you.

Just like with Norm, that assurance doesn't work. She grips your arm tighter.

“Please.”

You put the hand that was hovering around the door on top of hers, squeezing it.

“I’m coming back,” you promise.

“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.”

You shake your head, “I ain’t. ‘Cause them out there, they’re fighting for power. Some, dumb thing such as that in a world that lost control years ago.”

“Then - then why are you going out those doors?” 

You smile, “I already let one sister down. I ain’t doing that again.”

With that, you pull your arm free, and open the door. You give Lucy one more nod, before shutting it behind you.

She gulps. Then she hears ringing in her ears. As all that she has learned about her mother, father, upbringing, everything, comes crashing down upon her.

You remember one of your first kills. A man was trying to kill yourself and your sister. He had knocked her out. He had punched you a few times and the world was spinning. You had spat blood onto the floor as the man moved over to your sister. With whatever strength you had left. You got up, charged him, and had him on the floor this time. You punched him a few times, before sticking your teeth into his neck. His gurgled scream didn’t mean anything to you. You just had this anger. This protective fury to you. You ripped out the piece of his throat that you had taken, spitting it out. 

Your sister was standing next to you the next moment, you both watching the man bleed out. She only reached a hand out to you. You took it. You held it for a while after. A bloodsoaked hand. But a promise to never let go. To keep going together.

Fate had other ideas. The Brotherhood had their goals. But they mistook you for raiders it seemed. Or just couldn’t see shit in those helmets of theirs when they started firing. It was only you and your sister and at that point, you didn’t mourn them much. But, that fire of knowing - or, at least, knowing as you did at the time - that your sister had been seemingly killed as well…it made you punish yourself. It made you never fully heal after fights. It made you never fully accept help.

And yet, that damn Lucy Maclean had come into your life, and given you something you never thought you’d have again:

Hope. 

You remember that hope as you fir each round - you are a decent shot, especially for someone who has no actual training with them - and hit most of your targets. You take weapons from fallen people where you could. 

A bullet hits your piece of cover. You heard footsteps. Your latest weapon had clicked ages ago. So, you wait…and wait. And then –

You dive, tackling the person to the floor. They block a punch, before you get one in and –

A bullet slams into your shoulder, sending you to the ground.

“No!” you hear a familiar voice say. You blink, adjusting to the searing pain and the daylight. It’s Maximus, with a friend of his, “they’re my friend! They’re my friend!” he says.

“Oh shit!” his friend says, dropping to one knee, dragging you out of the way. The war itself is distraction enough.

“Where’s Lucy?” Maximus asks you.

You have a hand to your shoulder. One his friend removes as they put a Stimpack into your arm. You groan at it, before answering him:

“Upstairs…with her father.”

“Is she alive?” 

“The more you piss around here, not likely,” you say.

Maximus nods. He looks to his friend, “go,” they say. He nods, and pats you on the arm and leaves. 

His friend stays with you, “I’m sorry,” they say.

You nudge your head to the door, “go. Don’t get caught out here.”

They look like they wanna stay, then realise why you’re saying that. The Brotherhood are brutal. They only let Maximus live due to loyalty. They nod, leaving too, but a few extra rounds find their way onto the floor.

Good deeds and all that, Lucy would say.

The battle seems to be dying down. And you are just plain dying. Another shot had hit you. This one closer to your chest. You had stumbled your way into the building, seeing dead Brotherhood members around you. 

You collapse, growing weaker by the moment. You hate it, having your promise be broken. But, you tried. You fought them off as best you –

“Aw, hell,” you hear a gruff voice say. A hand grabs your arm, and you are hoisted up; your arm going around someone’s shoulders, “we gotta stop meeting like this, sunshine.”

You look, and see the Ghoul who had taken you hostage.

“Ah,” he says, “don’t talk. You’re the silent one. I like that about you. Only talk when necessary,” he begins to move you to the stairs, “now, don’t worry about these ones. They’re all taken care of. But, I do need a word with Mister Maclean. And, I do think that if little Miss Lucy finds out I left you to die, she might do more than rip off my finger, this time.” 

He gets you to the room. He opens the door and goes in, leaning you against a wall. You stumble in as best you can, looking worse and worse by the second. 

“Uh-uh,” The Ghoul says when Hank Maclean looks at you, “don’t look at them. You look at me, now,” Hank complies.

You make your way over to Maximus and Lucy. Getting to the floor with at least a bit of grace. Lucy looks at you, eyes going wide.

You reach out with your hand not on your wound, and cover Lucy’s. A bloodsoaked hand. But a promise to never let go. To keep going together.

“You look out at this wasteland,” the Ghoul says, “it looks like chaos. But there’s always somebody behind the wheel.”

He knows Lucy wants to know how he knows her father. But makes an offer. You can stay here, wait for Maximus to wake up, but you won’t be spared - hell, you were by a sheer stroke of luck - or, you go with him, and meet your makers. 

“You coming?” he asks you. 

Lucy squeezes your hand. Your vision goes hazy. Time is running out. A gunshot goes off. Lucy’s mother dies.

You feel hands on your arm as you are once again lifted up. Lucy is holding you. Even now, she’s gentle. 

You realise what you are then, to each other: an anchor.

Something pulling the other ashore. Making sure they don’t get lost in the madness of this world.

You feel a jab in your side. Another fucking stimpack. Christ you hope a dependance doesn’t follow with these.

You see the Ghoul again, “one for the road.”

You nod. To your surprise, so does he.

Lucy takes your hand.

“You ok?” she asks. You nod, feeling a bit stronger.

“Okey Dokey,” she says. This time, not as bright in tone. One that isn’t entirely flat either. More of relief, a tired relief. A want for rest. But also one that tells you she understands now. This world was dark and painful. There were few light spots in it for hope.

Her hand in yours, tells you she understood your own realisation. You are a bright spot in each other’s lives. A friend to always be there.

So, off you walk together. Her father was gone, in more ways than one. He had fled like a coward. She’d almost shot him. She wanted to.

Her family was now down to two members:

Norm - her little brother. The one she’d always protect.

And you - a sibling she found out here. One that would protect her just as much as she did you.

It wasn’t much. But it was something. 

It wasn’t all for nothing, coming up here. It wasn’t all for nothing, delivering that head.

A new world was coming through. It was fighting.

Now, it was the time for monsters. 

She was just glad you weren’t one of them.

[glitteringcrab]

Morty Prime's personality regression

Some fans (and I'm among those fans) feel like it seems Morty Prime's character development has regressed after Unmortiricken (S7E5).

Like he's more docile... less challenging of Rick... more accepting of Rick's shit...

There are a few possible explanations for this:

1. Morty sub-consciously trying his hardest not to act like Evil Morty

2. Evil Morty planting in Morty Prime's head the poisonous idea that Rick C-137 might commit suicide if Morty Prime is not there to emotionally support him

3. Rick C-137 is not so much a jerk these days. He hasn't messed with Morty with any Vats of Acid, hasn't created a robot version of himself. The worse thing he did was the Valhalla thing.

4. Morty Prime being more understanding of Rick C-137's mental state and finding more patience to deal with him.

But... at the same time, some of Morty's behaviors seemed so out of character that we fans (and I was among those faaaaans) built a whole theory that Morty Prime had been replaced by Evil Morty post Unmortricken....! ("Freaky Mortys Theory", for anyone interested. There are tags with it)

I think if we look a bit deeper in this season's Morty Prime (and the previous seasons) we'll notice some... interesting things.

Let's compare Morty Prime's and Evil Morty's capabilities and personality characteristics across the seasons, shall we?

Charisma

Evil Morty got himself elected:

Morty Prime convincing (little pieces of himself) as Marta:

Morty Prime rallying the trapped Mortys:

Gosh, they even do the same gestures

A "healthy" Morty Prime, no longer burdened by his awkwardness can climb the social ladder really fast:

And of course, the attribute slider:

Intelligence (probably one of Evil Morty's defining characteristics - "you're like an evil Morty, a clever one" as Rick Prime put it)

I'd have to put screenshots of every single scene Evil Morty is in, so let's dig in straight to Morty Prime instead lol

See above attribute slider.

See above Morty managing to become a Stock Broker, totally something a moron could do

Morty Prime casually disarming neutrino bombs, totally something a moron could do

Morty Prime beating Rick at a board game (and Rick freaking mind blowing him over it, the giant 8-year-old)

Suddenly being able to do math, which meant that he always could do math, he just wasn't really motivated to try:

And mind you, this was in Season 7 post Unmorticken, during the time we felt that Morty Prime's personality had regressed, and it was one of the "clues" we fans used as "proof" that this was really Evil Morty.

Of course, Morty Prime has A LOT (like, A LOT) of dumb moments as well. But the capability of intelligence is definitely there.

Manipulation

All of Evil Morty, where to even start lol

Let's head for Morty Prime instead.

Morty Prime presenting himself as super ecologically sensitive to Planetina. I mean, he definitely was on board with ecological activism etc, but he also wouldn't visit random forest fires to help. The liar. Planetina somehow fell for that.

"I'm your little brother, you have to take care of me!" was Morty Prime trying his hand at manipulation with Summer. And this was in Season 7 post Unmortricken, during Morty Prime's "regressed" phase.

The "trickle down effect" with Tricia seeing him ripped by the attribute slider was pretty clever, and manipulative (not maliciously, but still). This was ALSO in Season 7 post Unmortricken, during Morty Prime's "regressed" phase.

"Why would I be friends with a witch" was very fast thinking on Morty's part:

Again, this was in Season 7 post Unmortricken, in Morty Prime's "regressed" phase.

Physical abilities

Lookit Evil Morty flying:

And now look at Mort Prime performing Evil Morty's flying kick, which he definitely couldn't do before Unmortricken:

This was one of the "clues" we fans interpreted as "proof" that this was really Evil Morty, but since that theory has been jossed, the next obvious conclusion is that Morty Prime has been training.

And this was in Season 7 post Unmortricken as well, where we fans have been complaining about Morty Prime's personality regressing.

Extreme self harm as a step to freedom

I'm a hundred percent sure Evil Morty orchestrated his own assassination attempt and willingly walked towards the person who'd shoot him:

And, as another fan pointed (check out the tags!), Morty Prime did this:

Even the other guy, who was trying to kill Morty in that scene, is disturbed lol

Murder

Evil Morty probably has the biggest body count out of anyone, along with Rick C-137... But Morty Prime can get... trigger happy as well.

Shooting Rick C-137 in a fit of rage:

Getting really happy in the "trigger-happy" part during the Purging episode:

(thankfully, it was not played as a joke)

The Death Crystals deserve a special mention. So many people dead, just so he could grow old with his crush ("and people call me Evil Morty") and somehow it's played as a joke:

All those poor dudes in the Narnia dimension:

Desensitization to murder

It seems that any amount of murder is small potatoes to Evil Morty:

In "Mort: Ragnarick" Morty Prime complains about being desensitized to murder, and then Rick makes him kill people repeatedly (which Morty does obediently), during an episode where he has one of the highest body counts:

Most of the people he keeps killing are immortal Viking ghosts who literally live to die (lol) but Morty still is the one committing the murder, and he even tells Rick not to kill the Vatican guards (who die for real) every time, which I think Rick actually agreed with, thankfully...

Needless cruelty

There was no need for this, Evil Morty!!!! It served zero rational purpose!

Oh, you're gonna think. Morty Prime is not like that. Sure, he kills people, but he never draws it out.

Think again:

"Careful, Ethan. Your s'more is burning."

Ethan simply dumped Morty's sister!! That's not good enough reason to turn him into a deformed monster, Ethan was just being an immature teenager!

...Not to mention Morty Prime literally tried to roofie Jessica (not exactly cruel, but... quite evil).

Morty (!!!) suggesting they use brainwashed clones to solve the spaghetti shortage, and holding his hands behind his back while he did it, freaking Evil Morty style (also EVIL).

Okay, I'm gonna stop here and say that I don't mean to stretch things. We've known Morty Prime for 7 seasons and the amount of times he has been manipulative, trigger-happy or evil can each be counted on one hand, while those same characteristics are pretty much defining of Evil Morty. The potential exists in Morty Prime, but it becomes reality in its most extreme form in Evil Morty.

In addition, there are some differences between the two:

Evil Morty has patience, single-minded focus and the ability to come up with incredibly convoluted schemes (it's... almost like he spent unimaginable amounts of time trapped as a prisoner in his own body, unable to act, unable to do anything but wait and plan), while it also seems he is devoid of empathy (cough), forgiveness, or the desire for connection (I will probably make separate posts for the those two).

POINT 1: I suspect that their differences can be accounted for if the theory that they grew up differently is true; one in the safety of his home and family, the other in the uncertain and hostile environment of the Citadel.

Morty Prime never had to be manipulative, because he could always just ask to get what he needed. His more violent tendencies get suppressed by the humane examples his (non-Rick) family members set. He tries to do the right, moral thing 99% of the time because he grew up learning the virtues of kindness and compassion, and did not get brainwashed by a hundred different versions of his nihilistic grandpa into discarding universes and people like single-use coffee cups.

I suspect that Morty Prime and Evil Morty might be WAY too similar, and it's just that Evil Morty's brain is in constant overdrive survival mode, while Morty Prime is in normal kid mode.

I suspect that the parallel between Morty Prime and Evil Morty is meant to be a story of "nature vs nurture" and the effects of long-term abuse and neglect can have on a child.

POINT 2: I suspect that the series' climax might revolve around a revelation that Rick was wrong all along:

That Morty Prime (and any Morty) is just as clever as any Rick, and he doesn't get to show his brilliance because he's just a young child who can do stuff like waste time playing videogames and date girls and hung around with his family instead of honing every skill he has into a deadly weapon just so he can survive.

I feel like this is a revelation that has been building up for a while:

(and poor Morty doesn't react in this scene during Rick's admittance, because of course it doesn't concern him: he is just an idiot, he is not "intelligent in a different way" like Bigfoot is)

POINT 3: While it may be true that Morty Prime has been more... docile and patient and forgiving of Rick post Unmortricken, the way I see it, he's also physically training, is becoming more manipulative and we have more proof that he's actually really smart.

...So, I wouldn't call his personality change a "regression"...

...more like... a shift... towards higher forgiveness and tolerance and towards cultivating his capabilities.

Which, if Rick C-137 screws up and does something to betray Morty Prime's unconditional love, would bode really badly.

[vioartemis]

I’ll die with you (part 2)

(Tara Carpenter x fem! reader)

Summary: After you woke up at the hospital, your little group gathered and tried to list the suspects. When you get home with your girlfriend, she finds a good way to unstress you. Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 Warnings: (+18), smut, fingering (r receiving), mention of attack (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

In the morning, the police came to question you about what happened. You told them all you could remember, Tara still by your side.

"Do you know who it could be?" the new sheriff asked

"No I... I don't know..."

"Do you have ennemies?"

"No one who's still alive"

"Okay so... We'll keep you informed if we have something new"

He was about to go, but Tara called him back.

"Wait! Aren't you going to put us under protection?"

"Well, the person who attacked you probably think you're dead so..."

"We're not talking about any killer! It's Ghostface! He's going to come back. He always does."

She stood up and glared daggers at him, ready to fight until he gave you whatever protection.

"Tara..." you squeezed her hand "It's okay Sheriff, thank you"

She looked at you in disbelief as he got out of the room.

"What are you doing? You know we're in danger we need to be protected-"

"You know it's useless. He killed your protection last year, remember...? And we are not in danger. I am"

"Yeah and you're my girlfriend, so we are in danger"

"No. You are going to leave Woodsboro with Sam and the others. That way you will be safe and-"

"And you? You're coming with us right?"

You stayed silent, avoiding her gaze.

"No. No. I am not leaving you here."

"Tara it's the only way! Leave when you still can! I'll keep him busy here. He's going to come back for me. He wants me dead Tara."

"Well then I'll die with you."

"Tara-"

"I prefer dying with you than living far away while you're in danger"

Later this day, when Tara left to grab some coffee, you were visited by one of your friends and classmates. He knocked softly before opening the door slowly.

"Hi, how are you feeling?"

"Physically? Pretty good thanks to the painkillers. Mentally..." you didn't finish your sentence "How do you know I was attacked?"

"Tara called us. The press doesn't talk about it yet if that's what you were wondering. The teachers didn't know why you weren't here, Mindy told them you were sick"

You didn't know if that was the best thing to do. Not creating panic was great, but if Ghostface was back everyone was in danger. Now that the new sheriff wasn't so familiar with the killer, you were even more worried.

"... But the police arrived and told them everything" he continued "Oh! I bring you something, here" he handed you a card "Everyone signed it"

You took the card and opened it, lips curling up slightly at the sight: Kyra, Finn, Mindy, Lexi, Angie, Kyle, Chad, Ayla, Eleanor...

"Looks like not everyone signed it"

"What? I gave it to everyone that's no possible... who forgot?"

"You" you chuckled

"Shit..." he mumbled, blushing in embarrassement "I was so busy making sure they all signed I forgot to do it..."

You gave him the card so he could sign it, when Tara came back, two cups of coffee in hand.

"Sorry it took me so long there was so many people at th-" she paused when she saw him "Damian? You're not at school?"

"They dismissed us because of... what happened..."

He gave you the card again gently.

"What's that?" Tara asked, handing you one of the cups and sitting next to you

"We made a card for Y/n, all classmates signed it"

"Babe I don't know if I'm supposed to drink coffee..." you whispered

"Oh, right, I thought it could give you energy but... I didn't think this through..."

"I'm going to leave you alone... It was nice seeing you Y/n, Tara... I'll be back later maybe"

"Thanks for coming" you said

With that, Damian exited your room with a slight smile. Immediately after the door closed, Tara turned to you.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You shouldn't stay alone with someone! What if he's Ghostface?"

"Tara! Come on have you seen him? He's an angel, he couldn't hurt a fly"

"The more innocent they look the more dangerous they are" she mumbled

"If he wanted to kill me I would be dead. It's not him. Now relax and come here"

You moved a little to the side and lifted the covers so she could come in your bed with you. She took her shoes off and took place next to you. You rested your head against her. You missed her touch, her warmth, her perfume.

You thought you would never feel it again, and be here now against her relaxed you to the point you fell asleep.

When you woke up, Sam, Chad, Damian, Mindy, Lexi and your mom were here, sitting in circle around your bed. Tara was still next to you, stroking your hair lovingly.

"How long did I sleep...?"

"Around an hour" Tara replied, kissing your forehead

"You should've wake me up... sorry you had to wait..."

"It's okay, don't worry" Mindy said

"Have you figured out who the killer is already?" you asked her

"Not yet, unfortunately. But I have my list of suspects! Well not really... but-"

Like the year before, she started rambling about sequels and requels and something about a franchise and that everyone could die now.

"Now for the suspects... That's when it gets complicated..."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked

"Well, I don't think any of us survivor would do this. Gale is Y/n's mother, she wouldn't hurt her own daughter. Tara loves her way too much to lay a hand on her. And Sam, Chad and me, we all love Y/n, why would we attack her?"

"We wouldn't" her twin said

"Exactly. That leaves..." Mindy turned to the other boy "Damian, ah, Damian. How come you got close to Y/n after the massacre last year? You barely talked before."

"Well I- I don't know, I wanted to be friends with her. I always thought of talking to her but I don't know I just- got shy I guess..."

"Sure, very convincing"

"Wha- I'm not lying-"

"Lexi, my love" Mindy interrupted him, blowing a kiss to her girlfriend who smiled "Never trust the love interest"

The blonde's smile dropped quickly at her words.

"Is that it? Two suspects?" Gale asked Mindy

"Well, according to sequel of requel rules, yes"

"Great" she was being sarcastic, of course. She turned to the now prime suspects "Do you have an alibi for last night?"

Mindy's girlfriend was the first to answer.

"I was at Kyra's birthday party"

"Can you prove it?"

"Ask anyone who was there, check social medias..."

"I was there" Chad said "I can confirm she was at the party all night long"

After a little silence and a nod, Gale turned to Damian.

"And you?"

"I uh... I was home"

"Alone?"

"Yes..." then, after seing the look on everyone's face "But it's not me I swear! I didn't-"

"Yeah, totally not what the killer would say" Mindy jeered

"Y-you don't think it's me right? Chad? Lexi? Tara? Y/n?" the brunet stuttered

Tara's grip on you grew tighter, you could feel her body tense. You place your hand on hers, squeezing gently.

"I don't know man..."

"Come on guys, we can't make assumptions like that... Look at him, do you think he could slam my head against the floor three times? I mean- he looks so harmless with his fluffy hair, and he's too skinny to be the one who attacked me. No offense though"

"None taken" he mumbled, grateful for your support

"Y/n, just because you like his hair doesn't mean he's innocent. It's always the ones that looks the less harmful who does the most horrible things" your mom reminded you

"See, that's what I tried to tell you earlier"

"Tara..."

"What can I do to prove you I'm innocent...?"

"Damian, you don't need to prove anything, we don't-" you started

"You're going to stay with us, so we can keep an eye on you. If needed, tell your parents you're staying at Chad's house, your dear friend" the boy suggested

"I don't know if I like the idea" Mindy objected

"Do you have a better idea? You can stay at Lexi's if you're too scared"

After arguing with the doctors for half an hour, they finally let you go back home. The last time one of Ghostface's victims stayed at the hospital, she got attacked again. The memory was still fresh in yours and Tara's mind.

You could never forget this night.

Tara helped you carry your things to her room, putting your bag in a corner, and leading you to her bed.

"They said you shouldn't stand for too long-"

"Tara, babe, I'm not going to break... I know you're worried, but I'm fine"

"You're not fine, you've been stabbed six times! I know how it feels. It doesn't feel okay"

"... I know it's just- I don't want to stay here doing nothing..." you sighed "I'll lay here without complaining, come here"

You made yourself comfortable on her bed, opening your arms.

"Isn't it going to hurt you if I lay on you...?"

"It's okay, don't worry. I want to be close to you"

She complied and kissed you tenderly before positioning herself, nose pressed against your neck.

You closed your eyes, but immediately the scenes of the day before flashed before your eyes. Ghostface, the pain, the blood, Tara's screams, everything.

"Baby...?" Tara looked at you, concerned "You okay...?"

"Y-yeah... I just... I had some flashbacks..."

"Shit... How can I help?"

"If you know a good method to relax it would be appreciated..."

"Well... maybe I know something that could help"

"Really?"

"Hmhm"

She sat gently on your thighs, a slight smirk on her face.

"Tara-"

"Shh..." she whispered as she crawled to capture your lips with her own "I promise you'll feel better after... 'm gonna take good care of you..."

As she kissed you, one of her hands unbuttoned your jeans and slipped past the waistband of your underwear. She brushed her fingers over your clit, eliciting a moan from you.

You could feel her smile on your lips when she felt the wetness between your legs. She didn't waste time and slipped two digits inside you, humming in appreciation as she felt you clench around her.

She started pumping her fingers in and out of your pussy at a slow pace, provoking moans to slip past your now red and swollen lips. She kissed her way down to your neck, leaving love bites here and there.

When she curled her fingers, your hand tangled in her soft hair.

"Tara..." you let out in a breath

"I love it when you say my name like that..."

She picked up her pace, hitting all the right spots, drawing you closer to your release. She sucked dark purple marks on your neck and slipped another finger in. That was enough to send you over the edge.

"Good girl..."

You could have came again just from that, if it wasn't for Sam to enter the room suddenly.

"What do you want for din- Oh my god-"

She blushed hard when she saw what you were doing and turned her gaze quickly to the floor.

"Jesus christ! Do you think now is the best moment for... that?"

Tara slipped her fingers out of you and casually shove them in her mouth, licking you off her fingers.

"I figured out it was the best way to relax her. Beside, if you knocked..."

"Don't, please. Just- answer the question"

"Pizza would be great, right baby?"

You nodded slightly, cheeks as red as a tomato, mortified. Sam quickly left after she had her answer.

"You didn't lock the door?!" you whispered-shouted "How I am supposed to look at her in the eye now...?"

"Do you feel better?"

"Babe that's not-" you paused at the look she gave you "... yes"

"See, I told you it would help..." she leaned in for a kiss, a smile on her face

"God you really have no shame..." you mumbled, kissing her passionately

"Nope" she smiled against your lips

You knew this kind of moments were the best to remember years after, but at the moment you were embarrassed. Still, a part of yourself 'enjoyed' that moment.

Maybe it was your subconscious knowing happiness would soon end to be replaced by grief.

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[hollyhomburg]

Don't answer if major spoilers or if you don't feel like it. A while ago, you mentioned that Bily pack will have 8 pups in total. We will get to know who's they are. I know they will all love them equally, just curious

oh so!!! the pack actually does not have 8 pups- i think you must have had something confused, the pack canonically will have 5 pups- 4 biological and one adopted, not sure how much we'll see of them BUT-

Basically the m/c and jin have two each, the first one is a namjoon/jin pup, an alpha boy that ends up having all of namjoon sensitivity and all of namjoon's pack alpha instincts, a true perfect older brother. next in birth order is the m/c's first- also by namjoon (seriously- why are his genetics so dominant????) who is also an alpha boy although this one is alot more sensitive and gentle and generally a little anxious- takes after yoongi quite a bit. he's very attached to the m/c too.

in my mind- jin and the m/c are pregnant at nearly the same time- and give birth probably 2-3 months apart, the two middle pups that are affectionately called 'the twins' if only because they are litterally attached at the hip Next- is jin and jimin's alpha girl- who is a force to be reconed with- takes alot after jimin in looks and jin in tempermant, is basically a mini jin and never hesitates to tell anyone whose boss- i swear she gives namjoon a heartattack with how many trees she tries to climb.

and then finally- is tae and the m/c's little omega girl- who comes a few years after the middle two and quite literally is a tiny little angel. she's a bit of a crybaby like the m/c but no one ever judges her for it, in my mind she's quite the heartbreaker when she's older but she's got 3 older alpha siblings to protect her!!!!

as for their adopted child- you can read their story right here. i dipped my toes into it a while ago- i think my plan for the other kids has stayed mostly the same!

this means that jk, hobi, and yoongi do not canonically have any offspring- yoongi out of necessity and jk because a pregnancy would be seriously dangerous for him. hobi's a little more upset about it eventually- but with the addition of the 5 pup- he gets a little less butt hurt about it. he could have made more of a stink about wanting to have biological pups, but by the time he realized he wanted it- the m/c was already almost 40 and jin was almost 50 and they ran out of time :(