#and never knowing for sure who exactly they're looking at

[elgaladwen]

I am not trying to fight with anyone here, because I know this is coming from a place of wanting to help with the current situation, but this is so silly that I have to say something. (And thank you to the people in the comments who note that this is also a common feature of Teams itself) I don't know all the details, so maybe I am missing something, but the way this is presented is seemingly just hearsay and fear-mongering over a normal business process. It's perfectly common in government (and I imagine in the private sector too) to be able to search through Teams chats, emails, or any other records (because yes, Teams chats are records) for keywords for legal and public disclosure, disciplinary actions, or a number of other reasons. As someone else in the comments also noted, they might have installed third party software to do this in a better or different way than Teams itself. (We use a third party program at work to search emails so that we can be more thorough than what's out of the box with Outlook, for example)

I guess this sounds weird if you've never worked for the government or for a big company who issues you a computer, but this is how it works. There isn't any expectation of privacy for anything said on work devices or though work channels. Usually it's less nefarious than this sounds, like you want to make sure you got everything for a public records request, or even just something like someone needs to look up something you talked about because they forgot, but it could also be to make sure you weren't doing something that you shouldn't. And I can't speak for every employee, but in my job, we are not allowed to talk about politics during work time, because we are supposed to represent all the people of my state and that silliness, so yeah, I could get in trouble for talking about Trump and Musk on work channels, and I can't imagine my state and agency is the only one like that.

Now yes, if some random dude is doing this separately from normal processes, that is bad. But this reads as if some employees only just realized that their computers can be monitored and searched. "Some federal employees say" and "some think" is not basis for fact. I'll try to see if I can figure out what, exactly, they're talking about, but regardless, i just want people to realize that this is a very common thing. There are many insane things Musk is doing that we can worry about, without adding red herrings.

Elon Musk's teenage hackers have inserted bots into the backend of the federal system so they can spy on government workers and sniff out any disloyalty to Felon47.

This is not only highly illegal but qualifies as an act of espionage and sedition.

Remember when First Felon accused Obama of spying on him through a microwave oven? Always a projection.

[jd-loves-fiction]

Appears in your askbox again like a plague

Same platonic premise with Boothill, Blade and Gallagher but reader gets kidnapped by their previous captors (reader is a former slave) in the heat of conflict

🌑honeypop if your requests are a plague I wanna be sick 😭 CRIIINGE also this got so angsty good lord 💀

✦ 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥 ✦

PanicpanicPANIC

He's never shot people so quick, get space Guiness we've got a record

Getting rid of anyone who gets in his way without a second thought nor a moment wasted - he's never felt more like a machine

He just wants-- no, he needs you to be safe or he might go crazy from the guilt

He was supposed to protect you, he promised

He'd never forgive himself if you got hurt on his watch

So he's shooting people like it's going out of style, quickly tracking your captors down and making his way to you

You'd best look away when he finds them... He's not exactly a merciful man when it comes to his enemies

When he finally gets to you - he doesn't experience adrenaline anymore but - his head is spinning

He's approaching you carefully, doing his best to speak softly and try to make you laugh, so you know you're safe now

He'll swear to you again that this will never happen again

Utterly heartbroken that due to his metal body, he can no longer even give you a hug as comfort :(

✦ 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐞 ✦

Another one panicking, except it's slightly different

Because of the mara he can't let himself be consumed by his panic and anger because he might end up hurting - the LAST thing he wants

But my god is it difficult to stay calm

He's lost too many people already and we've seen what he's willing to do to bring them back

He's rampaging to your side while trying not to lose himself to the mara

Hope you dont mind him making sure they can never do this stuff again because he's not holding back on the fuckers once he finds them

His rage overtakes his concern to the point that he becomes so focused on paying them back that he only remembers why he's doing this after they're all dead

Immediatly rushes to your side after calming himself down - god forbid he sees even a sliver of fear in your eyes when looking at him or be might throw up

Terrible at expressing his concern, at least verbally, so with your consent he's holding you gently and carrying you to safety - silently comforting in the way he usually is, with an edge of anger and guilt this time

But if you dont want him near you for the time being, he'll be heartbroken but undertanding, though he'll still stay close to your when he can as a means of protection - he just cant let this happen ever again

✦ 𝐆𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐫 ✦

Nonchalant no more

All the way chalant, he's freaking the fuck out

True guard dog, genuinely surprised someone got past him since he tries his best to keep an eye on you during fights - clearly he needs to try harder

Tries his best to stay calm in order to focus on getting to you but man it's hard to do

No matter what you are the priority, but he really wants to mess up the people who dared do this again

Tell him you want revenge please and he's hunting them down to the ends of the galaxy

But if you tell him to drop it, he will - you're absolutely his priority, even if he really wants to rip those people to shreds

With his skill set it wont be too difficult to find you and get to you, quickly and efficietly taking care of anyone in his way

When he finds you, he's quick to read the room to figure out what you need

Space? You got it, he'll just stand a little to the side so he can still protect you

Revenge? No need to ask him twice, he's on it

A hug? 🥺He might cry, of course you can have a hug

He's a pretty heartfelt guy but he's got a good head on his shoulders so he understands that this was not his fault but his heart still aches for you

Let's you sit by him at the bar as he works; cracking jokes and teachin you a few bartending tricks to get your mind off things. At least until he can be sure that it wont happen again

[lsunstreakerl]

using this hellsite for its intended purpose (posting smut on main)

this is technically two ficlets, but I'll be posting the second one later. for now, I gift u all 1.7k words of omegaverse, and it's actually max and esteban, omega/omega (I cannot believe I'm writing these words I am going to hell). hi yes hello mature content here. not violent just horny.

This is not any less embarrassing than Max had expected it to be, standing at Esteban's door at five in the morning. He hadn't even sent a heads up text, he'd just shown up.

He's not even sure if Ocon's in the country.

He hopes he's in the country- Max is kind of fucked otherwise, because then he's just standing in front of the door for nothing, and he's pretty sure this is preheat, but he doesn't fucking know.

His heat crisis at the airport hadn't been sexual at all. His cresting heat in his own flat in Monaco had been brutal, but tame compared to what's to come, and Max doesn't exactly have other omegas to ask.

It's not that he's scared, he just-

Well.

There's footsteps on the other side of the door, and then quiet for a moment- Esteban must be checking to see who it is.

Sure enough, the door swings open a few seconds later.

"Verstappen, what the fuck- oh shit."

Esteban smells good, is one of the things Max notes as he's being dragging inside, door shut behind him. He has a big fluffy nest on the floor of his living room, and there's an action movie paused on the screen, and-

Max is pretty sure he's talking to him.

"-aaaaaax. Hey, earth to Verstappen-"

Max blinks rapidly, and then he tips forward and buries his nose in Esteban's neck, pressed right against his scent gland.

"Ah!"

Esteban yanks him back by the collar of his shirt, and Max whines, because he smelled good and he wants more, and it's making him feel better being next to it.

"Why did you do this. Why the fuck- why did you come to me, how long have you even been an omega, what the fuck-"

Max feels a whine building in his chest, because that's a thing omegas do, and he's rapidly realizing he's going to need to get comfortable with a lot of uncomfortable things about his designation soon.

"Christ, okay- okay, come on."

Esteban is leading him into the living room, and Max hopes they're going to the nest, because Esteban's looks so good, better than anything Max has ever been able to build.

Esteban bats at his hands, gently nudging the side of Max's foot.

"Shoes, please."

Max toes them off, and then Esteban tugs him down into the nest, and it's so soft, soft and perfect, and Esteban's got this omega thing on lock.

Max immediately shifts towards Esteban, because he wants snuggles, wants the warm heat of someone else, and Esteban's scent is so nice, even if he smells concerned and bewildered at the moment.

"Right, preheat, okay. Maybe the Dutch do it differently."

Max almost wants to laugh. He has no idea how Dutch omegas nest or heat. He's never been allowed near other omegas.

Esteban sighs, and there's a begrudging type of fondness in his eyes for a moment.

"I'm doing this because I'm a good person, Max, so remember that next time you want to shove me, yes? Good. Come on, shirt off."

Esteban tugs his own shirt over his head, and Max's brain isn't quite moving at its normal pace, but he's compliant as Esteban bats at his hands, pulling Max's shirt off over his arms and shoulders before tossing it to the side somewhere.

Max just wants to snuggle.

Esteban pulls him in, letting Max settle his nose right above his scent gland, chest to chest in the nest as he pulls a blanket over them.

"You have no idea what you're doing."

Max makes a weak whimper, distracted by pressing his nose in until his brain is just a looping mantra of Esteban, Esteban, Esteban-

"Right."

Esteban kicks up a purr, and Max melts on top of him, loose muscles and head fuzzy. His throat hitches, but he can't quite make it go- still doesn't know how.

There's a nose in Max's hair, and one of Esteban's hands comes up by his neck, long fingers running down the side.

Max feels like there's a weighted blanket on his brain, making everything slow and syrupy.

He loses track of time- he's pretty sure Esteban starts his movie back up, based on the explosion noises.

Max barely even registers that he's softly grinding his hips over Esteban's thigh, only notices because Esteban's scent sweetens under his nose, and his purr gets louder.

"Max."

It's gentle, and Max makes a responding hum. His eyes are half open, not really seeing anything.

"Max, you are supposed to heat partner with an alpha."

Duh. Max would've done that, if he was out and trusted any of the alphas to handle him right- his first choice was Daniel, but he's out of the country with Scotty, and Max didn't want to interrupt their trip.

He can't exactly go to Seb.

Asking any of the garage members violates probably a million FIA policies and also the law in a few countries. Lando and George are omegas, but they're new and Max doesn't know either of them, which leaves him with Esteban. He'd shown up on a whim, even though he isn't part of the pack, because he knows he can't handle it alone.

An older, more experienced omega was the logical choice.

He doesn't realize he's whining until Esteban noses at his hair, scent wrapping around him.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me- it is okay, Max. I will help you."

Esteban hitches his thigh up and Max gasps, lightning bolts going through him at the change in angle. Long fingers run down the side of his neck before pressing down on his scent gland, and Max ruts forward, nose back in Esteban's neck. It feels good, and it smells good, and if things could stay slow and hot and nice just like this, Max might be okay with heats.

Esteban breaks that fantasy.

"Go on Max, get a good one in before your heat really hits."

Max whines softly, and Esteban sighs, hand slipping down Max's spine to settle on his lower back, helping him with the drag and slide of it all, the push-pull. Max's brain is liquid, a soft loop of sensation and feeling good.

It's not a rough orgasm by any means- it's gentle compared to others Max has had, washes through him in a way that's slow and overwhelming, leaves him collapsed against Esteban's chest, slick cooling between his thighs.

Esteban noses at him again- he's scenting him, gently pushing the side of their heads together. Max hasn't been scented by a member of the pack before- Daniel scented him regularly before he left, and Nico had done it frequently as well, but they're both gone now, and it's been a minute since anyone outside of Redbull bothered.

"You are okay with fingers? Toys? Mouth?"

Max's hips jerk again at the thought, face heating up. He nods against Esteban's neck, keeping his face hidden.

"Okay. Max, I am not set up for a heat at the moment- I need my alpha to come by with groceries, is that going to be alright?"

Esteban has an alpha? That can't be right- Max has his nose on top of Esteban's scent gland right now, there's definitely no mark here.

He noses at it pointedly, enjoying the spike is Esteban's scent at the sensation, his soft gasp.

"Don't be archaic Verstappen. I can have an alpha without having a bite. I have two, thank you very much."

Okay- Max knows the alphas of the pack significantly outnumber the omegas, but two is just greedy. His scent must change, because Esteban snorts.

"I didn't think you wanted Pierre or Charles, but if you want to share for your heat we can do that."

Max pauses for a moment. He's... actually not sure. He hasn't been with an alpha before, but if Esteban is here- if they listen to him-

Max isn't stupid. He knows his first proper heat is going to be bad, that's his consequence for being on suppressants for so long. Toys aren't going to cut it. They'll keep him from Red Heating, sure, but that's about where that ends.

He's going to be begging Esteban for something he can't give him.

Pierre isn't terrible. He's not close with the rest of the garage, and Max is pretty sure he's somehow managed to entirely miss the memo that Max is the pack omega- probably hasn't picked up on Redbull being a pack at all.

In his defense, there hasn't been a garage pack on the grid since before Max was born.

Charles- Max isn't sure how desperate a heat is going to make him, but if he ends up begging Charles to fuck him he's going to jump out the window when it's over.

Weird cresting heat induced insanity aside, Max has not once wanted anything to do with Charles. He's annoying and entitled, and Max still doesn't believe that he's actually an alpha.

He seems like the kind of guy to want to be a gentleman to an omega, which-

Charles has not once ever been gentle to Max, it's practically the foundation of their relationship, and Max isn't sure if he's going to want kindness and consideration for his heat.

He's not freaking out about it, he just-

He doesn't know.

He's whining into Esteban's neck again, a slow need starting to build deep inside of him. He wants them, he doesn't want them, he cares, he doesn't care- everything is so difficult.

Esteban rattles out another purr, scent heavy in the room. Max settles, nose full of fresh snow and eucalyptus.

He nods his head, a tiny shift, and Esteban's scent takes on a pleased note, sweet and satisfied.

"They will be good, I promise. I'll kick them out if they aren't."

Max is fairly confident that's not how that works, but maybe the French are different. Esteban slides one hand to tap at his phone as the other shifts from Max's back to the front of his hips.

"Okay?"

Max nods, and he's sure his own scent is all over the place, canting his hips up for Esteban to slide his hand down under his waistband, long fingers cool against his overheated skin.

His scent spikes again and Esteban purrs, nosing gently at him.

"It's okay, Max. It's alright, you're okay."

Everything is-

It's a lot.

Max is whining, a soft noise as Esteban works his fingers inside of him, and they're so different from Max's, feel alien inside him, but they feel good too, and Max-

Max wants to be good, wants to show Esteban that he knows how to be an omega, a good omega, even if the pack doesn't want him.

He knows it's not his strongest area- he's poured all his time and effort into racing, doesn't know what to do with himself outside of it, but this- Esteban's fingers inside him, Max's nose pressed into his neck, a slow build- this feels good. It feels right.

[mmmilkweed]

I hope that you don't feel discouraged from antis..

Keep focusing on yourself and not the negativity

Your art feeds us all, thank you.

Awe! Thank you so much for worrying about me! That's really kind of you! I've been on the Internet since.... Google+, I've got though skin and a deep hatred towards purity culture. They sure aint getting the better of me

I hope you can excuse this, but I'll use this ask as a mini vent post! Nothing super graphic, just my general gripes with the world. Feel free to skip it!

In all honestly, I've gotten insanely rude comments on my Strawpage. You know- the usual. Death threats, telling me to kill myself, how my art sucks and I deserve to be hit by a car, that I am an abuser, an enabler and an overall shitty person... The usual. Aside from an anon denouncing my Christianity, nothing really hits deep. I find solace in the fact that I've never told anyone to kill themselves, which, me thinks, defacto makes me a better person than all of these people. Or a single person. Idk who wrote these, they're all anonymous.

Even so, if there were a million people breathing down my neck telling me I was wrong, just having three of you guys telling me you enjoy my work, is enough for me to stand my ground and keep creating.

On a different note, i... Feel shitty. I fell back into looking at numbers, calculating optimal posting times and scanning over every single interaction my posts get. Tumblr was manageable! Very small audience, nice and peaceful atmosphere. Twitter? Oh, man. The analytics stare down at me and I stare back. Numbers are losing meaning and becoming a statistic that *has* to grow everyday, lest I'm a failure. I'm thinking of giving the account over to my friends - but still. Large part of me doesn't want to, and I know exactly why (the numbers). And I can't exactly stop posting.. It'll be a good gateway for commissions, and yk. SOMEONE has to pay for Smilks lavish lifestyle 🙄

Thanks for reading. Take care of yourselves guys. Pop a shot for me

[jeffrrandell]

Explanation for the connection I made lol 👇

I'm gonna at least slightly explain Tord and Gravy being roommates. I'm not going to lie to you guys, this was a joke made because when my friends and I were watching "Technical Foul" from 8 Crazy Nights we were like "that's like if Tord crashed at Gravys house tbh" and then it turned into "Tord somehow becomes Gravys roommate after he leaves Edds house, for like maybe 2-3 years. And it's almost like a Disney movie. Tords just happy he has a place to stay, and he knows Gravy is just soooooo nice but man is he annoying. So he's not mean to him, he just is autistic and only ever likes Edd anyway basically. But he warms up to em. Gravy works a ton of jobs, and Tord cleans up around the house. And an odd but actually important detail is Gravy smokes weed (because of all of these jobs), and Tord took interest in that. Getting high together kinda made it easier for his nerves to be calmed down, and it made it easier for him to realize "oh Gravy is just a guy". Of course afterwards, Gravy turns back to jumpy goofy Gravy, but Tord learned to appreciate the energy. Tord and Blonzie were already slight acquaintances, actually before Tord met Gravy. Somehow for whatever reason Tord ends up at the auto shop he works at, probably asked about a pile of spare parts that looked like junk and Blonzie said "take em". So they had that for a while. They're mechanically intelligent together. Plus Tord finds his stunts REALLY cool, as he loves destruction too. He'd love to invent little things for him to try out. They also both have "I'm gonna be silent now" autism. Anyway, he never in his life expected for Gravy to be like "meet my boyfriend" and "oh whataya know, it's the guy that calls me Tiny and gives me spare parts". Not sure if it makes sense for Tord to still be living with Gravy when he gets with Blonzie or not, but either way they'd make a really weird fun trio. Gravy definitely opened up Tords weird side for him. Because Tord is just so closeted around everyone, even Edd didn't know a few secrets about him (for probably crush related reasons, intimidation.) But with Gravy, it sorta didn't matter to him what he told him. He'd listen, and I mean it's sad but. Gravys a huge loser who's pushed around EVERYDAY, and for a bit Tords view on that was "well he has it worse than I do so he can't judge me"

But yeah, they're friends lol

In a WTFuture timeline, this was also a joke that turned out to be something that we all kinda liked. I believe in Tord clone theory btw! Basically one day, Not Tord shows up to Gravys house one day. Reminder that if this is a bad timeline, Blonzie is dead sorry. But yeah Gravy notices something is off about him. Very off. Like, somehow this Tord knows Gravy would call him "buddy" buuut.. Tord never called HIM "buddy". Blah blah blah somehow Gravy is in the Red Army. And I don't mean as a soldier, the last thing Tord wants is for him to die actually. As in any timeline, Gravy will work a million jobs. And that's exactly what he does. I'm talking coffee runs and goofy shit like that. Because to me, yeah Red Leader is "WOAAHH crazy leader man scary he's taking over the world" but it's EDDSWORLD, so he's also "aw man. My helmet stinky" "play just dance with me I'm bored" like y'know. Before this concept, I was like "yup. Gravy is the first to die in this timeline" and then it turned into "Tord wants to keep him alive because he'd be dead bored without him"

And I'm serious it's gets so goofy. To a point where THIS Tord also opens up to Gravy, crying about Edd and being like "I'LL JUST GET RID OF ALL THE COKE IN THE WORLD I CANT LOOK AT IT ANYMORE!!" and then he's like "😲💡" and then Gravy talks about his feelings too.

Potentially as well, since Gravy is trained in medical, he could also technically take care of wounded soldiers and almost act as a doctor but ONLY back at headquarters, he's not allowed to go anywhere he'd be in danger. Anyways. Yup. My sick and twisted mind.

[theallianceofcelestials]

What if Bloodmoon, Solar Flare, and Lunar were the ones to turn into babies?

It'd be a flashback to the past for the 'adults', and a nightmare for Eclipse. They'd still love him, no matter if they were fully babified or just bodily babified, so they'd want to spend time with him. And his daycare coding would be a bitch to him

Killcode would be fond, overtly so, because while he loves his children always, and he's more than happy they grew up, he's nostalgic.

So is Sun, who would happily adopt back his cool uncle persona that was lost as the kids grew up and realised they could bully him. But if the chaos gremlins were still adults in mind, it'd be perfect time for him to get back at them.

Moon would be horrified if they turned back into actual children, because one time with these troublesome brats was enough, thanks. Bloodmoon bites, Lunar's mean and Solar Flare got these big sparkly eyes that make him weak. If it's just a bodily transform, he'd be more than willing to bully them too.

But for the rest I'm busting out the format I usually use for these

Eclipse

Just body tranformation

It's okay, he's fine, he can handle this. Even if he's very worried he'll accidentaly step on Lunar, who is even smaller than he used to be. He's especially unappreciate when the midget tries using that to his advantage, and he'd scruff him more than he usually does. He's kinda angry terribly annoyed when Lunar tries exploiting his daycare attendant code, but Lunar would stop when he tells him to. He doesn't know how ucomfortable it is, after all, and he doesn't want to hurt his big bro

Solar Flare would probably just sit down somewhere and wait to be fixed. It's aware what effect it has on Eclipse currently, and doesn't want to abuse it. Eclipse would just give it one of his books, and it'd be happily reading.

Bloodmoon, sensing a brother in distress, would try to comfort Eclipse. Eclipse is trying his hardest not to laugh, because Bloodmoon had to climb onto the kitchen counters to be able to reach his shoulder. He's aware they're trying their hardest to bring out the wise big brother persona, but he's just dying inside while trying to keep a straight face outside.

Full babification

Lunar is manically obbsessed with cuddling him, Eclipse is sure of it! The little cloud always wants to climb onto him for his afternoon nap, and it's getting real annoying because he's afraid the midget will fall and break his neck. He's also always under foot, trying to show Eclipse his new toys, and he hums and nods at those.

Solar Flare is even more of a quiet person like this, which doesn't exactly surprise Eclipse. Once the little bot gets over its shyness, it starts following him around. It'll just quietly sit beside him, and maybe play with something or draws once it knows drawing is perfectly fine. Whenever it finishes a drawing, it shows Eclipse, then waits to be praised and cuddled

Bloodmoon bites Moon said, and he only now realises how severe of an understatement that is. Little Bloodmoon loves hunting, and they love to nibble on people they love. And he's the perfect prey, because while they don't exactly remember stuff, they're still aware he's the weak link. So they pounce on him the mosth, and he can't do anything because they're like toddlers or something, and they'll die if he so much as sneezes at them.

Killcode

Just body tranformation

He's gleefully looking down at all his kids he can now fit into his hands. They've never been this small at the same time, and he can admit to missing babies. He's a bit weak to the baby fever and he's not ashamed. He'd curl up over them and cuddle them despite all the protests. He'd be so embarrassing and he'd love every second of it

Full babification

Lunar would go back to his preferred game with his dad, meaning he'd sit on the paws while KC walks. Killcode is a bit stressed over it, but he really doesn't mind. He's just happy he won't accidentaly step on him like this, because Lunar is like a little tick and won't let go

Solar Flare would eagerly expect more stories from Killcode like this. It'd stare at him until he caved and either read outloud to him or made up a story of his own. It'd happily cuddle into his sides when he does this, and he'd be hit with even more nostalgia.

Bloodmoon would want to playfully wrestle with him, and would also want to go outside. He'd have to pay close attention to them whenever he brings them out so they don't split and wander off. He's very grateful they live inside a building now so he doesn't have to do this 24/7

Sun

Just body tranformation

Sun would go insane with the sewing this time too. He'd absolutely adore putting them into overtly cutesy outfits as a way to get back at them for being little shits. They can't even run away from him, because he's back to being faster than them all.

Solar Flare would be the only one who'd enjoy the attention, and would accept being dressed up. Sun's absolutely overjoyed.

Full babification

He's the one who got the toys for Lunar. And all of them too, but Lunar's the one who lights up the most when he gets one. Sun'd also just go back to picking him up like a kitten, infinitely amused by the babies surprise whenever this happens. He'd be a grave offender of tummy tickling and rasberries

Solar Flare would accept being dressed up like this too. It's just very curious about what its uncle is doing after all, and wants to play with the fabric/yarn. Sun lets them get away with it, pretending not to notice, because it's very funny when they realise they did a bad by tangling or messing everything up and try fixing it without him noticing.

Bloodmoon would pounce on him the most after Eclipse, but he's got it better handled. He'd grab them out of the air, and throw them above his head whenever they try something. He'd act stern but then sneak them little treats from the fridge when no one's looking.

Moon

Just body tranformation

Moon would be greatly amused by this predicament, and spend most of his time laughing at his nephews. The gremlins deserve it, and let it be a lesson to them not to mess with him, because he's still aware of all their weakspots. Except Solar Flare, they're let off the hook this once. Totally not because he has a soft spot for it, no

Full babification

Lunar wants to climb onto him and wants to chew on his hat or his fingers or his neck or his everything really, and he doesn't fancy all that spit on himself. But then he starts crying, and that makes him want to die. So he'd be left scowling while the kid tries eating his nightcap

Solar Flare would be his favourite kid again, because it's quiet and well-behaved compared to the other three. He'd give it headpats and sit it on his lap like he used to, and teach them about things again. Mostly technology this time, but he'd sneak in a bit of mythology and medicine too, along with biology.

Bloodmoon are evil children, and he stands by this still. They try ambushing you whenever they can, and they bite you for no reason. He'd try to reach out to pet them, because they love that, but then they'd bite him for no reason. He's also not amused when they try imitating him again, but he'd start having fun with them when he realises he can just throw balls for them, and they'd chase after it and bring it back.

[pearlescentparade]

BROKER X READER HEADCANNONS PLEASEE I CRAVEEE IT CAN BE NSFW OR GENERAL HEADCANNONS OR BOTHHH

this and other requests r what pushed me to accept npc requests LOL

⛓️‍💥broker x reader general + nsfw headcanons💝❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥💞

once you've caught his eye, you'd best give up on pursuing a relationship with anybody else. if broker sees any other inphernal attempting to court you (and he will, he has eyes everywhere), he'll approach them later and "make a deal". it's nothing fatal or sinister, he's only bribing them to never interact with you again. hey, if they could be paid off to leave you, they didn't deserve you in the first place! what he's doing is a good(?) thing for you! and once he finds you at your lowest after being lead on for the hundredth time, that's when he strikes

"aw, why's a pretty demon like you moping out here all alone?"

"...just some bad luck with love, you wouldn't wanna know."

"oh, but i'm sure i do! say, how's about i make a little offer to you? it's simple, if you smile for me, i'll be your boyfriend! now i don't mean to toot my own horn but i-"

"-ah! look at that darling grin! so you accept my terms? wonderful, then i'll be seeing you around, sweetheart~"

broker is considered a highly dangerous individual, manipulating and cheating to get his way. but with you? nothing but innocent smiles and giggles. he's all over you with honeyed words and affectionate gestures (hugs, kisses, and the like)

the pet names are endless. just when you think he can't get cornier, he can. honey boo-boo bear, schmookums, his cutesy wootsy pie, they're awful. your reactions to his latest terrible nickname for you only encourage him!

makes a habit of always touching you in some way, whether it be capturing you in a hug, holding your hand, or resting a hand on your shoulder. it makes you feel like he's constantly clinging onto you.. like he's an inseparable part of you... and he's more than aware of this.

sometimes he'll randomly show up at your house. even if you're not home, he can wait until you are! he especially likes to pop up in your bed after you've fallen asleep and greet you when you wake up. it's a fun surprise! though, you don't recall giving him your spare keys...

you learned about his detachable properties through a prank. he hugged you from behind while you were making breakfast, then pulled away to go to your dining area and wait for the food to be ready. it took a few seconds, but you eventually started to wonder.. if broker was in a different room, then who's hand was still wrapped around your waist? your scream of pure terror sounded so adorable, it makes the angry lecture he received afterwards worth it!

obviously, you're curious about what your boyfriend does for work. he's always showering you with expensive gifts and lavish dates, but where exactly does he get the bux for it...? yet when you ask, he states he's but a simple "merchant" and that "it'd do you better to not worry your pretty little head about it, sweet pea!" broker isn't ashamed of keeping you in the dark about his business

his colleagues hear all about you, all the time. every chance he gets, he'll gush about his amazingly cute partner. they're his 'family' after all! and soon, you'll make a delightful addition. scythe supports him wholeheartedly and find it adorable that he's found a lover, while medkit feels sorry for you

broker constantly insists on you meeting his 'family'. the thought made you nervous, what if they didn't approve of you? he seems well-off considering his occupation and wealth, what if his family looks down on you for not being as affluent? but broker only laughs when you express these concerns. they know all about you already, and they're dying to meet you! though, when you acquiesce and go to meet his family, you don't expect to be dragged to a church..

your boyfriend never struck you as the pious type, so to hear him passionately rave about this church was a surprise. turns out, this community is the 'family' he was referring to, rather than a blood family you assumed you'd be meeting. it alleviates a significant amount of pressure, but you still hope for their blessing. you've nothing to fear though. as stated before, they've heard lots about you (more than you'd want them to know).

you will be indoctrinated into the cult. it's inevitable. you find yourself unable to refuse when broker takes up your hands in his, gets down on one knee, and asks you so kindly to 'join his family'. all he's missing is a ring for it to seem like a marriage proposal, but he can make arrangements for that. he's done so much for you.. you could do this for him, couldn't you? there's just.. one tiinnnyy condition that needs to be met.

broker hums as he rubs circles on your back, soothing your violent distress after the operation to remove one of your eyes. this is but the first sacrifice you will make for the sake of the family, he says. but doesn't he know you could care less about the stupid cult? doesn't he know you're only in this for him?

you constantly get the feeling that you're being watched when you're out. from a distance, broker grins as he watches you meekly glance up at the windows of buildings, frantically check behind you every few seconds, and run into stores to shake off the feeling. but even in the safety of a building, you aren't safe from his prying gaze. sometimes he'll come out and reveal himself to you, but other times? it's more entertaining to watch you squirm

being broker's partner means picking up calls from unfamiliar numbers. while he loved calling with you, he's always changing his contact. sometimes, to toy with you, he'll pretend that he's somebody else or that he's got the wrong number. it's beyond lovely to hear your disappointment quickly shift to excitement upon realizing that it's actually him

the first time he went missing, you were devastated. he's never liked to stay away from you too long, but he hadn't called or swung by... where could your lover possibly be? naturally, you set out snooping. you asked around to anyone willing to give you the time of day if they've recently seen a demon in a teal suit and an x scar above his left eye. many paled simply at the description, stammering out that 'they don't know who you're talking about' and immediately finding an excuse to leave the conversation. despite the questionable behaviors of the majority of demons you asked, you discovered from some accounts that he was last seen being arrested by the warden.

when you find him caged in the banlands, his reaction is.. different than what you expect.

"ah, you two finally came- what.. what are you doing HERE?!"

"i'm.. here to save my boyfriend? duh."

"no- NO, you're not- UGH! ..listen, you need to hurry on home. it's really not safe here, and if that warden catches you... gosh i don't even wanna think about what he'll do."

"but what about y-"

"toodaloo! sayonara!! ciao!! shoo, shoo!! ..i'll make it up to you once my coworkers bust me out, just- SCRAM!"

you'll never know how much it scared him to see you. did you think you were some foolish hero? if the warden happened to come around, there's no doubt in his mind that the tyrant would use you as blackmail against him. if torture and execution doesn't work on the broker, it sure would on his innocent partner. from then on, he's more careful about evading banhammer

thinks it would be incredibly romantic if he could replace all of his limbs with yours. permanently uniting the both of you into one body, it's the ultimate gesture of affection! he would never ever change out his parts again! alas, you would die in the process, and broker's life would be impossibly dull without his darling. oh well, he can't have his cake and eat it too

❤️‍🔥nsfw❤️‍🔥

broker's a switch, sometimes he likes to let you take the reigns and other times he'd prefer having you ruined under him

absolutely loves to edge you. what better way to remind you of his power than bringing you impossibly close to your climax only to still completely, dangling your sweet release right above you?

bothers medkit to switch out his lower regions for one with a bigger dick or a tighter vagina. you never know what you'll get, but rest assure that whatever it is will please you

regrettably, due to his condition regarding his nerves, broker can't feel pleasure (and thus, has no libido or any need to masturbate). but that doesn't mean he can't derive his own sense of pleasure from seeing you come undone

fortunately, due to his condition regarding nerves, broker has unlimited stamina, and can go for as long as he likes! which is until you physically cannot respond to him anymore

big on dumbification, he loves reducing you to nothing but a mindless whore who can only babble incomprehensively with the exception of 'yes' and 'more'

likes to switch his pace randomly to either make you beg for more or sob for him to slow down

100% a sadist, he'll purposefully strain your muscles as he spreads you or puts you in uncomfortable positions

he commissions the dollmaker to craft a voodoo doll of you complete with synced nerves, so that you can feel everything that he does to your mini version. while observing from a distance, he'll rob the crotch of your plush and watch you double over and cry out in a mix of arousal and shock. it's adorable to study you as you do your utmost to stifle your reaction and pretend like you're not getting fucked good by a phantom force. it's even better when you're with friends, and you scramble to improvise an excuse for your strange behavior

a total voyeurist. he'll watch you masturbate from your windows or even your closet, noting how you tense upon his gaze. even through your lust, you can recognize that familiar feeling of being stalked. whatever, if that peeping tom wants to watch you jack off, you'll give them a show. you wear your lacy lingerie, get extra vocal, and buck your hips vigorously into the bright teal vibrator that broker gifted you

he'll ring you up, ask you about your day, yada yada. and while you're talking, you can hear the erotic noises of faint slapping and heavy breathing coming from broker's side. as mentioned previously, broker can't feel pleasure. he's only doing this to arouse you, and swords, does it work

likes to detach one of his hands and place it anywhere on your body during sex. it can help to keep your legs spread open, grope your chest, pinch your clit, choke your neck, have its fingers being sucked in your mouth, he can be creative with it

his over-the-top sweet pet names transform into nasty nicknames when you're fucking. not only that, he'll do babytalk and call you things like his 'dirty little slut' in a high-pitched and condescending tone

any demons who still try to hit on you will receive a phone call later that night, and all they'll hear on the line is you and broker unmistakably fucking as your voice clearly cries out his name before it abruptly hangs up. it's about sending a message

the morning after, he's already gone (likely to go earn money for the church). but at the very least, he always leaves a few snacks and a glass of water with a note saying something alone the lines of 'i had fun last night C;' (parade postscript: this request kept deleting itself so it took way longer to put out my apolocheese)

[elysiumkerr]

It's nice to have other artists to connect with -- especially those who understand the throes of the world's shittiest rollercoaster of ego and doubt. Elyse knows her shit is good. It can always be better, she wouldn't spend so much time creating and recreating if it couldn't. She doesn't want to peak, to plateau. But, fuck, some appreciation would be nice. Too many people think having a critique makes them sound smart, and too many of them can't actually give critique for shit.

She shoves a mouthful of noodles in her mouth, only somewhat aware that the scent of takeout probably isn't the sexiest thing for prospective customers to smell, especially when they're looking at the body mists and various flavored things on the shelves. Birdie's joke makes her laugh, though. "Well, if your appetite changes, let me know." Elyse quirks a brow at the vampire's question.

"Sort of. Though it usually only ends up being 'god, I'd fuck you right here, right now' or 'if I have to answer another stupid fucking question they'll never find all the pieces of you', but that doesn't roll off the tongue quite the same," she says earnestly. "Not met too many folks I'd call marriage material." Elyse's eyes follow Birdie's towards the few customers milling the store and she laughs.

"Sure... as long as I don't have to commit, right? Chinese food doesn't exactly put me in the mood."

A coy huff of laughter accompanies Lyse's commentary breaks up the way Birdie stares at the door, watching and waiting, like she's willing somebody to walk through. Maybe it'll be her boss. She wonders what he's like. If he's a good boss, or a slave driver. She wonders if Elyse here likes him.

God, she's bored.

"Boy do I. Endlessly critical of yourself, criminally underappreciated by everyone around you - unless you die, that is."

The addendum isn't meant to be threatening - simply a matter of unfortunate fact. She hasn't seen Elyse's work, but she does wonder, both what it looks like, what her technique is, her preferred mediums, but also how much others feel when they look at her work, how much that would change if she - with a flick of her wrist, rendered her name and her work permanently into the past tense.

"No, I'm still full." She says, eyes tracking to her neck, cleaned up now, but god, the temptation's there again already. A smile. "Not in the mood for sex either, though, maybe later." A flash in her mind. Lara. The curves on her, the way she'd tasted. A distant pindrop somewhere in the back of her mind. She shrugs, wondering what all the fuss was about.

The door sounds the arrival of a couple, one timid, the other casual, and they mince into the store - Birdie nods to them from her perch, and then looks back to Elyse and her food. Another customer walks in, and Birdie, initially at least, ignores him, but he's staring at them both, like he wants to interrupt, but then he shuffles off into the aisles, stealing the occasional glance up to them - mostly her new little pal. Birdie's tongue clicks off of steel teeth on her bottom jaw and she laughs a quiet laugh. "I remember my old odd jobs, you ever play fuck marry kill with customers?"

Her head nods over to the three wandering the floor. "Wanna?"

[frownyalfred]

I don't think we talk enough about the masks Bruce Wayne/Batman wears and how they translate into the specific spaces that are associated with his character. That is, Batman and Brucie Wayne are both masks, but they aren't torn off immediately upon reaching one specific space. And what about the one who's just Bruce? The man sitting at the computer in the Cave isn't just Batman, but he's definitely more Batman than Bruce. The man patrolling Gotham is all Batman, and the man at a gala is all Brucie, but what about the man on the Cave stairs leading back up to Wayne Manor? He's Bruce-barely-Batman, but not much of Brucie. But the man reading the paper at the breakfast table in the Manor, decidedly not mentioning anything related to Batman or vigilante work, isn't wholly Bruce then, is he? He's a little Brucie, because Brucie doesn't know about Batman, beyond what he reads in the paper.

[icewindandboringhorror]

A little costume with eyebrow whiskers again.. making their return lol..

[seaofreverie]

As per the "do it alone do it scared etc" rule, I went to an art market today... It was pretty awesome, saw some cool paintings especially, and bought a bunch of fun stickers!! Also, you know you're with your people when you see someone with a Lemon Demon pin on their backpack among the visitors

[theflyingfeeling]

the love of my entire life

[gregoftom]

“do you have all the support that you need [for sweden]?”

[coockie8]

i find it very interesting youve never shared the username of the og callout poster 🤔🤔🤔

There's actually a few reasons for that.

1: I literally do not even remember their username at this point, and I don't wanna go digging through my blocks to find it.

and 2: I am not a wilfully ignorant piece of shit, and I know that dropping someone's username in any capacity when airing a grievance is a sure-fire way to get them harassed, whether that's my intention or not.

Also they pretty rapidly proved they're not above cyberstalking, as they hunted down my twitter account (and possibly others), so on the off chance they are still stalking my accounts 3 years later (Gods I fucking hope not, like get a fucking life if you are, holy shit), I don't wanna give them any further fodder to try and paint me like some kind of monster.

They made some truly heinous, and vile false accusations about me, but that doesn't mean I think they deserve to be a victim of the mob they tried to sick on me.

[wolf-skins]

nvm the americans in the notes going “i live in america you don’t want privatized healthcare” are normies and fine it’s the fucking americans going LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKS

americans stop pretending you’re the main characters in the story and eat my entire ass

[unproduciblesmackdown]

as ever like: no two things Need to be juxtaposed, much less like material vs material deathmatch Only One Can Be Good, much less am i thinking i have thee objective word on fuckall b/c who does and it's like perfectly boring & unserious whenever someone just throws out Takes that are just "i think...[xyz] is [adjective]" like okay.

but anyways thinking of how, though differing in execution in a lot of ways ofc, deh & bmc start out in a v similar place & explore a journey to self-acceptance from a despairing starting point....it feels like a lot of the hindrance in deh's exploration of its own Theme there is in like, hey. :) hand on your shoulder. it's okay b/c you'll be able to be more normal. whereas w/bmc it's that it's okay b/c you'll be able to be more abnormal