#and my thoughts are so everywhere and fragmented and idk man

[doritochoi]

Ex-Husband Encounter | C.S

pairing: fem!reader x ex-husband!san

genre: smut

warning: public sex, unprotected sex, sexual tension, blowjob, hard fuck, eating cum? ( kinda idk)

word count: 3,7k

tags: @roguehongsami ( you can message me if you want to me tagged in my post!)

You feel your heart pounding in your chest as you walk into his office and see the shocking scene before you. "S-san?" you manage to stutter, feeling a sharp pain shoot through your chest. Your husband, with whom you dreamed of spending the rest of your life in happiness, is sitting on a chair, and one of his employees is sitting on his lap, kissing him with a passion that takes your breath away. You are destroyed. You just wanted to be a good wife, bring him lunch like every day, and now you feel like everything is falling apart around you. Your lunch tray dropped on the floor, the plates are broken into a thousand pieces, the crumbs are scattered on the floor, but to you it is only a mute decoration in front of your pain. Inside, a storm of feelings floods your mind and soul - sadness, anger, helplessness. You can't take your eyes off them, the image that tears your heart to pieces. You feel betrayed, abandoned, and at the same time you are tormented by questions that hurt more than anything else. Why? How could you not see? You try to keep your composure, not to collapse in front of them, but you feel tears fill your eyes and your voice is choked with pain. You immediately walk out the door, heartbroken, getting into the car not caring if he calls you. You need distance, space, time to collect your thoughts and understand what you are going to do. You're too hurt to go back, too confused to listen to excuses or explanations. All you want now is to run away from the unbearable pain.

You arrived home sad and angry. Even if you didn't want to do that, you couldn't stay with San anymore. You wanted to wait for him to come home, to discuss, to solve what happened, but your mind stopped thinking. So you went to your shared bedroom. When you got there, you sat on the bed and started to cry, not knowing what to do. The tears flowed even more, making your eyes red and swollen. Looking up, you saw on a small table next to the bed a picture of you and San from the wedding. Looking at the photo, you felt memories begin to flood your mind. The moment was captured into your memory, and every detail came alive again in front of your eyes. You saw San's smile again, the tenderness in his gestures, and you went back in time, reliving the moments of happiness you spent together. The picture was one of your favorites, San holding you by your tiny waist, giving you a sweet kiss on the cheek. While you stared at the photo, a surge of rage and betrayal washed over you. In a fit of anger, you grabbed it and threw it to the ground, listening to the sound of it shattering into pieces. You couldn't tear your eyes away from the broken fragments, feeling a bitter satisfaction in the act. It was a release, a way to express the pain and anger consuming you. You packed your bags, not caring whether San would see all your belongings gathered when he came. You blocked him everywhere so he couldn't find you, and you left, tears streaming down your face as you looked back at the house where you two had shared happy moments.

It has been four years since that incident, and you haven't heard from San since. In truth, you hear about him almost every day, as he is now the richest man around with countless business ventures. He's everywhere, but you’ve tried to ignore everything that happened to avoid feeling lonely. Your best friend, Nayeon, has been a rock, helping you get through it all. She has always been by your side, and with her support, you have become a fairly popular model after a long period of healing and rebuilding your life. You’ve graced the covers of several fashion magazines, walked on runways in major fashion capitals like Paris and Milan, and built a strong social media presence. Your style is admired, your confidence radiates through every photoshoot, and your fanbase grows daily. Today was an important day. You were walking the runway in Sardinia, Italy for the Dolce & Gabbana fashion show. It was a beautiful, long-awaited dream come true. Nayeon was there beside you, helping you into your dress. It was a stunning black gown with a daring cutout at the back, accentuating your figure perfectly. The dress was exquisite, made of the finest silk that flowed gracefully with every movement. The cutout at the back revealed just enough skin to be alluring without being too revealing, perfectly balancing between chic and sensual. As Nayeon adjusted the final touches, she smiled at you, her eyes filled with pride and excitement. "You look breathtaking," she said, her voice filled with genuine admiration. You turned to look at her, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over you. "I couldn't have done any of this without you, Nayeon. Thank you for always being there.", she squeezed your hand gently. "That's what best friends are for. Now go out there and show them what you're made of."

As you stepped onto the runway, the lights blazed down, illuminating the room and the captivated audience. The black gown flowed elegantly with every step you took, the back cutout adding a touch of allure that drew gasps of admiration from the crowd. While you walked, a figure in the audience caught your eye. Instantly, the smile on your face vanished as you saw your ex-husband San in the crowd. He wore an exceptional white suit, making him easy to recognize, almost glowing amidst the sea of spectators. His hair was perfectly styled, and his piercing gaze, those fox-like eyes, made you freeze. He looked directly at you, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. You tried to maintain your composure, reminding yourself to focus on the walk. Every step felt heavier, the weight of his presence pressing down on you. "Keep it together," you whispered to yourself. "Just a few more steps." San's gaze never wavered, his expression unreadable, and it took all your strength to pretend you hadn't noticed him. You felt a swirl of emotions—anger, hurt, confusion—threatening to break through your composed exterior. But this was your moment, and you were determined not to let his presence overshadow it.

Finally reaching the end of the runway, you posed, turning with practiced grace, and began your walk back. You kept your chin up, eyes forward, channeling every ounce of professionalism. Nayeon's encouraging smile flashed in your mind, giving you the final push you needed to finish the show with the same elegance and confidence with which you had started. Backstage, as the applause echoed from the runway, you took a deep breath, your heart still racing from the unexpected encounter. Nayeon rushed to your side, sensing something was off. "Are you okay?" she asked, concern etched in her features. "I... I saw San," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes widened in surprise. "What? Where?" "In the audience," you said, glancing back towards the runway. "He was watching me the whole time." You tried to discreetly wipe away your tears, not wanting everyone to see you cry. After a while, when everything had finally wrapped up, you and the team started preparing for the after-party to celebrate the successful show. Your mind wasn't fully present; you were acutely aware that San would be there. You all headed to the most luxurious and opulent restaurant nearby, a sight of pure elegance and sophistication. The exterior was adorned with intricate architecture, lit by soft, ambient lighting that gave it a warm, inviting glow. As you stepped inside, a gracious hostess greeted you, leading your group to a large, round table elegantly set for the occasion. The table was adorned with elegant place settings, sparkling crystal glasses, and a centerpiece of fresh flowers that added a touch of natural beauty to the luxurious setting. Despite the stunning surroundings, your thoughts remained clouded. You tried to engage in the celebration, but the anticipation of seeing San again kept you on edge. The laughter and conversations of your colleagues seemed distant, almost as if they were happening in another world. You noticed that right next to you was the only empty seat at the table, and your eyes were immediately drawn to a prominent name card that read "Choi San". Your heart skipped a beat, realizing the possibility of sitting right next to him. Taking a deep breath, a mix of anticipation washed over you. Was it mere coincidence or a subtle intention from the hosts? As you carefully placed your clutch on the seat, you felt the curious glances from other guests intensify, adding to the pressure of the moment. You took another deep breath, the air thick with anticipation, and when you opened your eyes, there it was—a hand you recognized instantly by its touch, its grip, adorned with rings that spoke of refinement. San had just settled into the seat next to you. He exuded an intoxicating scent, and as he leaned in slightly, you noticed the impeccable tailoring of his suit, revealing a hint of his well-toned chest underneath. "Apologies for being late," he murmured with a respectful nod, his smile bringing back every memory you had of him.

Throughout the dinner, tension built between you and San. You felt his gaze on you constantly, and every accidental touch sent a shiver down your spine. It became overwhelming, and you knew you needed a moment to collect yourself. "Excuse me," you said, standing abruptly. All eyes turned to you as you walked away from the table, your cheeks burning. You hurried to the bathroom, closing the door behind you and taking a deep breath. You splashed water on your face, trying to calm your racing heart. After a few moments, you felt composed enough to return to the table. Just as you opened the door, you walked straight into a solid chest. You looked up, knowing instantly who it was. San. You froze, your eyes meeting his stunning gaze. You wanted to move, to walk away, but his hand caught yours, pulling you back. "San, I need to go," you whispered, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he gently pushed you against the wall, his body close to yours, creating an electrifying closeness. "Not yet," he murmured, his voice low and filled with need. His eyes burned into yours, and you felt the tension between you. Your breath hitched as you felt the warmth of his body against yours. His hand moved to your waist, holding you firmly in place. You could feel the heat radiating from him, making your pulse quicken. Your gaze remains fixed downward, avoiding his mesmerizing eyes, But San cups your chin with his hand, gently lifting your face to meet his intense stare. "What do you want?" you ask, your voice trembling. His eyes burn into yours, filled with a mix of desire and determination. As you try to pull away, his grip tightens, holding you in place. "Stop struggling. I'm not letting you go," he says, his voice low and husky, filled with a dangerous edge that sends a shiver down your spine. "What do you want from me?" you ask, your voice a whisper, laden with both fear and excitement.

Without another word, San pushes you back into the bathroom, the door closing with a decisive click behind you. Your back hits the cool tile wall, the contrast with his heated body making you gasp. His hands are on you again, sliding down your arms, gripping your waist, pressing you firmly against the wall. "I want you," he growls, his voice rough with need. "Every inch of you." San's lips crash against yours with a hunger that takes your breath away. He kisses you fiercely, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hands roam your body. His touch is demanding, possessive, and it ignites a fire inside you that you've tried to suppress for so long. He moves his mouth to your neck, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin, leaving visible marks. His hands slide up your sides, cupping your breasts through the fabric of your dress. "God, I've missed these," he growls, his voice thick with desire. You can feel his cock pressing against you, hard and insistent. He pulls the dress down, exposing your breasts to his hungry gaze. His mouth descends, sucking on your nipple while his hand kneads the other, making you moan with pleasure. "San," you gasp, your fingers tangling in his hair as he devours you. "Don't stop." He bites down gently on your nipple, making you cry out. "I won't," he promises, his voice a low growl. He switches to the other breast, giving it the same attention, his tongue swirling around the hardened peak before sucking it into his mouth. His free hand moves down, lifting your dress higher until it's bunched around your waist. He slips his fingers under your panties, finding you wet and ready for him. "Fuck, you're so wet for me," he groans, sliding a finger inside you and making you arch against him. "Please," you beg, needing more. San grins against your skin, adding another finger and thrusting them in and out of you. His thumb circles your clit, sending waves of pleasure through your body. "You like that, baby?" he murmurs, his breath hot against your ear. "Yes," you moan, your hips moving against his hand. "More, San, please." He withdraws his fingers, leaving you aching and desperate for him. He grabs your hips, lifting you up and pressing you against the wall. "I need to be inside you," he says, his voice rough with need.

You wrap your legs around his waist, feeling the tip of his cock at your entrance. He pushes inside you in one hard thrust, filling you completely. The sensation is overwhelming, and you cry out, clutching at his shoulders as he begins to move. San fucks you with a desperate intensity, each thrust harder than the last. His hands grip your ass, pulling you closer as he drives into you. "God, you feel so good," he groans, his pace relentless. You can barely breathe, the pleasure building to an almost unbearable level. "San, I'm gonna—" , "Come for me," he demands, his voice harsh and urgent. The words push you over the edge, your orgasm crashing through you with a force that leaves you trembling. San follows moments later, his release spilling inside you as he groans your name.

For a moment, the world stops, the only sound your ragged breaths mingling together. San lowers you back to the ground, his arms still wrapped around you as you both come down from the high. When he finally pulls away, his eyes are filled with a mixture of satisfaction and something deeper. "This isn't over," he says softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "I meant what I said. I want you. Every inch of you." You nod, your heart still racing. "We'll see," you whisper, knowing that despite everything, a part of you wants him just as much. San’s eyes darken with a renewed hunger, and he gives you a wicked grin. “On your knees, now,” he commands, his voice low and authoritative. A shiver of anticipation runs down your spine as you drop to your knees in front of him. His erection is right in front of your face, and you can see the desire in his eyes as he looks down at you. You wrap your hand around the base of his shaft, feeling its heat and hardness. You begin by kissing the tip, your tongue darting out to taste him. San inhales sharply, his hands tangling in your hair as you take him into your mouth. “Fuck, that’s it,” he groans, his grip tightening as you start to move. You take him deeper, your lips and tongue working in tandem to pleasure him. You hollow your cheeks, creating a suction that makes him curse under his breath. Your other hand moves to cup his balls, gently massaging them as you bob your head up and down his length. San’s breathing becomes ragged, his hips thrusting slightly as he struggles to control himself. “You’re so good at this,” he growls, his voice strained with pleasure. You look up at him through your lashes, meeting his intense gaze as you take him even deeper, pushing yourself to your limits. The sounds he makes, the way he tenses under your touch, spur you on. You increase your pace, taking him in as far as you can before pulling back and swirling your tongue around the head. “Just like that,” he moans, his eyes closing briefly as he loses himself in the sensation. You can feel him getting closer, his body tensing, his grip on your hair almost painful. With one last, deep thrust, he comes, his release filling your mouth. You swallow it all, not letting a drop escape, your eyes locked on his as he rides out his orgasm. When he finally opens his eyes, there’s a look of deep satisfaction mixed with something more. He pulls you up to your feet, kissing you hard, tasting himself on your lips. “Love, I missed you,” he whispers against your mouth, his hands still holding you close. You can’t deny the electric connection between you, the intense chemistry that still burns so bright. “I missed you too,”.

You both quickly dress, but as you look at your reflection in the mirror, you realize just how disheveled you are. Your hair is a mess, your clothes are wrinkled, and your makeup is smudged. San doesn't look much better; his suit is rumpled, and his hair is tousled in a way that screams what you've just done. As you step out of the bathroom, the hallway feels like it's a mile long. Just as you turn the corner, you run straight into Nayeon. Her eyes widen as she takes in your appearance, then flicks over to San. The realization dawns on her face, and she crosses her arms, looking between the two of you with an incredulous expression. “Really? Here? Now?” Nayeon exclaims, her voice a mix of shock and disbelief. You blush furiously, trying to smooth down your dress. “It just… happened,” you mumble, avoiding her piercing gaze. San, trying to regain his composure, clears his throat. “Nayeon, it’s not what it looks like,” he starts, but Nayeon cuts him off with a sharp look. “Oh, it’s exactly what it looks like,” she snaps, her eyes narrowing at San before turning back to you. “And you? After everything, you just let this happen?” You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of her disappointment. “It’s complicated, Nayeon. We were just talking and then…” Nayeon throws her hands up in the air, clearly frustrated. “Talking? Really? Because it sure doesn’t look like you two were just talking.” San steps forward, his expression earnest. “Look, I know it looks bad, but this is between me and her. We need to figure this out ourselves.” Nayeon’s eyes soften slightly, but she still looks skeptical. “Fine. But you,” she points at you, “better think long and hard about what you’re doing. And you,” she turns to San, “don’t you dare hurt her again.” San nods solemnly. “I won’t,” he promises, his voice firm. Nayeon shakes her head, sighing deeply. “I hope not, for both your sakes.” She turns on her heel and walks away, leaving you standing there with San, the weight of the situation settling heavily on your shoulders. You know Nayeon is right; there are a lot of things to consider, and this isn’t something that can be resolved easily. San looks at you, his eyes filled with a mix of hope and determination. “We’ll figure this out,” he says softly. You nod, but inside, you’re not so sure. There’s a lot to unpack, a lot to discuss, and it’s going to take time. But for now, all you can do is take it one step at a time.

[ticklepinions]

Important Stuff Under the Cut!!!!

This is part one in a series to be the perfect Lee, Ler and Switch.

Step One: Understanding Your Place

You are a human. Love that for you. People on here are human too! Wow! By this logic, this means that people are all intricate and have their own unique set of wants, needs and desires. Cool so how does this apply to you? This means there will be people you vibe with and people you don't. If you do not vibe with a blog here are some do's and don'ts

Do block them

Don't send them hate (even if it's controversial, hate messages don't solve anything, 9 times out of 10 they exacerbate the issue)

Do (if they are receptive to it) offer them advice/help on how they could be better if a mistake was made.

Step 2: Understanding Consent and Your Place

Because people are people, they are worthy of having their boundaries and consent respected no fucking ifs, ands or buts. And if you disagree, I hope you educate yourself as that is a dangerous mindset to have. This community has a major issue with this unfortunately so here are some things to remind yourself.

People have lives! Jobs, mental health, school, hobbies, other things that take up time! So guess what???? They will not and should not be expected to be available to you 24/7!!!!!!!

People are allowed and encouraged to set boundaries! If you don't respect them, get lost. If you think consent is some kind of joke, I honestly feel bad for you. But in all seriousness please do yourself a favor and understand the meaning of consent and how it impacts ALL of your relationships.

Some people hate to rp, get over it. Respect boundaries

Some people are not into sharing pictures of themselves, stop asking

Men stop messaging women who don't want to be bothered. You may be only comfy with going to women when it comes to the tword but make sure you're not objectifying people, same goes to others with gender preferences.

Do not manipulate people into doing things with/for you. They are not responsible for your own mental health. That is not fair to them, they did not consent to that. Go get professional help if its so bad you feel the need to gaslight people into doing stuff.

Stop the self pity. If someone doesn't answer you in awhile (some of y'all just wait 5 mins but chile lemme not be petty), that doesn't mean they are ignoring you. Back to the people have lives point.

Dead name, or use the wrong pronouns I dare you. Fuck off. You think you're so cool doing immature shit like that, it's sad. Touch grass

Tickling is not solely a kink. It can mean many things at once and its different for everyone. All are valid.

The block button is your friend

Be kind to people, it's free

And now a list of things people owe you.

Great. As you can see it's not a damn thing.

In conclusion, treat people with respect. Protect your peace by following those you vibe with and blocking/not interacting with those you don't. It's that simple.

[here-there-everyfuckenwhere]

I saw that new Elvis biopic in cinemas a few days ago, and I think now that I’ve gone away and thought about it, I can finally say why it sucked so much ass.

No offence if you liked the movie, I can totally see why it would appeal to a lot of people (there were a LOT of really great things going for it, actually. The cast were amazing, it looked amazing, the soundtrack was.. great)

The musician biopic is becoming a really popular trend in Hollywood recently, and, don’t get me wrong, there have been some AMAZING ones in the past few years (Tick Tick Boom is probably my absolute favourite, and one of my favourite movies of all time. Period.). But, most of the time, these movies are extremely formulaic. They typically centre around a (typically white male) musician, who comes from seemingly “humble beginnings” and the first half of the movie is a feel-good, success story. Then Big Business Man In Big Business Man Suit seduces our all-American rockstar hero man to the dark, corrupted world of rock-and-roll, leaving his devoted wife/kids/family/ect. in the dust and everyone leaves the cinema after the second act like “poor little all-American rockstar man”

Idk... I think that’s the main reason I didn’t like Elvis. I liked all the weird hallmarks of Baz Luhrmann’s style that were scattered throughout the whole film (the fragmented time-skip-y style of storytelling, the almost obnoxious amount of glitter everywhere, the anachronisms that are a bit weird but can be excused by a casual “eh it’s a Baz Luhrmann film” and a shrug, ect.) but other than that, it just felt like a mass-produced rockstar biopic..

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

bittersweet netflix shadow and bone finale (s1 e8) rewatch; accoutrement: white wine with ice cubes in it (no YOU'RE a mom drink shh)

my wine's like fruity I love her

light and darkness title card we love to see it

Inej looking at Alina before she goes below deck to hide <3

okay that 'what can you really do on your own' was like not fun that shit hurted

okay but Jesper's 'not enough'? <3

oh no my baby Zoya's first inkling that Darkles does not really care

omg Helnik just appeared and I remembered how much heartbreak I have to face in this episode

gods I love Danielle as Nina so so much

'this can't be it' said she with her pleading smile with downturned eyebrows MA'AM I-

don't break my dumb little heart

I might hate Calahan's little accent but they're making me tear up

oh gods I literally cannot keep a hold on myself when Dani's accent bleeds through with full force, it's like she comes more alive or smth

'I will keep you warm' SIR WHAT-

I am surprised they showed a leaning in for a kiss so soon but I'm not mad about it

her little eyebrow twitch at 'what are waffles'

when that rando said 'i hunt slavers now' a dread settled into me because I knew what was about to go down

Matthias looking somberly at the stuffed wolf's head </3

I am so incredibly entranced by this exchange between Fedyor and Nina and what it represents, it's very interesting that they pushed up their storyline to match with the timeline

damn it's kind of jarring to be back in the Fold

'REMEMBER WHO'S DRIVING'??!!!! *you better stop* meme, *i am, disgusted* meme, *oh wow, oh wow* meme

Mal you fucking idiot you could never take the crows by surprise

the music rising as Kaz starts explaining his thought process, fucking perfection

haha Mal bitchass Inej caught you

'Because if he isn't with Kirigan's crew, he's with ours' WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED

'And why would we destroy the Fold? It's the greatest weapon we've got' valid point at the moment but you know I don't necessarily agree with your methods

the use of the light tunnel in the show instead of Alina just being a super flashlight in the books is quite an interesting addition as well

is this an inappropriate time to point out how pretty Ben Barnes is

okay I kind of love the depiction of the shadow powers okay sue me

'they are traitors who tried to kill you' why are you suddenly making valid points despite having kind of committed low scale genocide

'i never said I was smart' YES MAL BE THE VOICE OF HIMBOS EVERYWHERE

Kaz's face going from 'can you believe this idiot' at Mal to 'fuck me I'm gonna do the same thing aren't I' at Inej

'For who would oppose us now?' *himbo romantic rival appears out of nowhere and shoots at him* god I love this show

him standing calmly in his ridiculous all black attire after nodding at his soldier to stop the himbo in his tracks, i fucking can't

could she summon light without the Darkling making her after he put the collar on her until the uhm moment in the books? idts but in the show she can hmm

'only because I'm not in the game' you tell him Jesper

not me snickering at 'you'll be seen not as a saviour, but as a heretic' LMFAO

'Shame. I'll have to give that speech again now.' THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING COMEDY AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ME WRONG

YES LET'S FUCKING GO SULI SOLIDARITY

Darkles casually whipping the Cut out like a shuriken or a throwing knife at Jesper because he shot at him lmao I can't

INEJ FUCKING GHAFA STABBED ONE THE OLDEST AND MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THAT WORLD AND THAT IS VERY TELLING OF HER POWER

that moment where you actually think that affected him despite having read the books and watched the show

and then he has to go and fucking say 'it will take more than this' and I can't be help but be a little bit impressed at this old fool's resilience

throwback to when he said 'the king is a child' sir you make some valid points sometimes and it does make it difficult to hate you

I would just like to inform everyone that it is currently 6:09 am IST and I am sipping my second mug of wine while watching netflix sab for the second time instead of doing my three papers that are due tomorrow

I'm sorry but Inej jumping to check on Zoya after she gets knocked over by the volcra? first class display of solidarity and sisterhood as well as Inej's inherent kindness

Kaz jumping in front of a FUCKING VOLCRA AND STABBING IT WITH HIS CANE to save Inej, you best believe love is true, kids

god the volcra are so ugly and gross, they did such a good job with them

they kind of remind me of these creatures (I think they might have been called Hollows or smth) from the Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children movie

STAG VISION TIME

despite my dislike for the callous nature with which the stag plotline was handled, I kind of dig the stag vision scene

'It's just me and you now, Alina. And we're all we need, anyway.' I actually feel bad for this old fool simping for this wonderful gorgeous powerful woman despite lying to her and manipulating her and exploiting her power

okay 'I never needed you' *stabs the bone fragment out of his hand* beautiful power move I fucking love you so so much

alright ben looking like ✨ that✨ not only in physical pain but also emotional pain at what the Darkling clearly considers another betrayal from this girl he wants to give the world and maybe? loves? maybe? or at least has feelings for makes my fucking heart hurt while simultaneously soar at Alina taking back control and reclaiming her power as her own and stepping into her own

'how do you claim such power' okay could have had better dialogue there writers

the fucking score lifting as she says 'you cannot claim what was not given to you' good people my heart is full

one day I'll talk about my defense of the chosen one trope because god damn I kind of love it

hmm I wonder was that brief hesitation that we saw on Alina's face due to her thinking about the 'you chose to betray our people' comment or the 'i was trying to save us' comment because that will define some of her actions in the later seasons (hopefully god if we get some, I honestly don't know what with this stupid brownface debacle)

I'm not saying talking about brownface and pointing out that it is wrong (for further context, I am actually brown) and harmful is stupid btw I'm talking about the incidents involving brownface in question

I don't wanna talk about this anymore but I might feel like I need to and end up posting about it idk

goodness Ivan actually believing in this cause makes me so sad because he too has been victimized by the system that ostracizes Grisha and he has every right to feel the way that he does

Ben actually fighting in that ridiculously heavy cloak and kefta when he's about to turn 40 this year makes me super impressed because I as a 19 year old sometimes wake up with muscle pulls after weeks of inactivity it's weird idk

also I understand that this Mal Darkling fight is completely fanservice and serves nearly no purpose to the plot in general but like I? love it?

'I don't have to kill you Darkling. Your past will do it for me' YES HIMBO GO OFF YOU TELL THAT OLD MAN GODS THAT WAS SEXY AS FUCK

maybe it's because I know Darkles will survive and will come out of it more powerful but I can't get myself to feel bad for him at the moment

Inej and Mal tearing up at Alina's condition made me almost feel something despite it being super obvious she was gonna be fine and save their asses at the last moment

HER POWER

a solitary Kaz in spotted on the western side of the newly expanded fold in his signature all black emo boy look

okay but the crows with zoya and malina is such an adorable team? I literally love them so much?

INEJ'S FUCKING SMILE AT ALINA GIVING HER THE DAGGER AND KAZ LOOKING AT HER AGSGSGSHSJSJSK MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE

SHE KNOWS JUST WHAT TO NAME IT WELL GIRLIE I KNOW IT TOO AND MY FUCKING HEART IS LITERALLY GONNA BURST

okay I know they had one interaction but Mal and Jesper would be besties in another universe

Kaz glaring at Jesper when he answers ''course not' to Alina's 'will you still be trying to kidnap me?' tell me one fucking adaptation that got the dynamics between characters this perfectly

okay why do I love that Alina kept the jewellery as maybe a small nod to she has the wits to, um, you know, I don't wanna say steal, but, um, yeah, steal it because she knew she would need money to survive on the run

oh Jessie I love you so much I wish you hadn't said those things on you ig story about the brownface

it's like every single celeb I grow attached to god's like nope that one is going to do or say something problematic (hey btw im not reassigning blame to god for stuff people have done out of their own free will, 'twas a joke)

AAAAAAAH them saying 'the deal is the deal' in the show even though they didn't have to but like they did and I love them for it

Inej literally not being able to not stare at Kaz's face and smile after this <3

'I didn't expect it to burn at all. But it can be destroyed in the end. Just like him' babe you're not wrong but like um just you wait

god Mal being on supportive boyfie mode is well, absolutely adorable, obviously, but I wish we got to see more of him as a person outside of his attachment to Alina

kaz my little demjin I wish you hadn't have had to suffer so much to meet the crows and find your calling

fastforwarding Zoya's arc is also an interesting choice to me

I wish the hug hadn't been done though, it didn't feel earned

maybe Alina awkwardly and half-heartedly (remember, at this point the alliance is fresh and they still don't entirely trust each other) reached for a hug and Zoya avoided her? and then the rest of Zoya's lines followed? that would have made more sense to me at least

I love Sujaya as well, she brought life into Zoya with whatever little screentime and scraps of writing she got

inej asking kaz 'what's your angle?' beep bop bleep morp I sense another incoming embarrassing love confession

'but we do need you' *stares at her face intensely* 'I need you' ah look at the clock, look's like it's time to screech and flap your arms like you're a volcra because you're incapable of containing your emotions

NO YOU CAN'T GO DIRECTLY FROM KANEJ PROGRESS TO HELNIK BREAKUP (TEMPORARY, MIND YOU)

helnik my loves you don't deserve this I'm so sorry for both of you

Matthias fucking smiling ruefully while he says 'this was... just a cruel joke all along' THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY

omg hellgate

AAAAAAAAH NINA IS ON THE SAME FRAME AS THE OG CROWS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS

CAMERA PAN FROM KAZ SAYING 'JUST HOW THIS ALL STARTED... WE'RE GONNA NEED A HEARTRENDED' TO NINA OVERHEARING HIM AND LOOKING OVER?????!!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME?!

Nina genuinely being curious as to the status of the sun saint because she obviously still cares

Also, 'But she is a Saint' okay Kaz trying to earn brownie points you have succeeded

DID THAT SAILOR JUST SAY 'GOED MORGEN FENTOMEN' TO MALINA BECAUSE I AM NOT OKAY WITH THEM JUST THROWING THAT IN MY FACE ALL OF A SUDDEN

gods I know I'll probably see them again but my heart is full of sorrow as my eyes drink in the sight of my crows for the last time for a while

I know people were annoyed at the meadow flashbacks but guess what? as a darklina, I loved them

'now that the Darkling is dead' could have phrased that a little differently my dudes that line needed to hold more weight

am I glad that they showed Darkles in this state with his nichevo'ya as a tasty little cliffhanger despite not being entirely true to the source material? maybe but only because Ben Barnes saying 'follow' and the nichevo'ya doing exactly so sent a chill down my spine

well, that's it for now, I'll have to move on I guess, get back to my real life which I'm obviously not ready to do

thank you to whoever actually read these things

I probably should have just made reactions or commentary videos instead but I'm lazy

my tumblr will probably go into inactivity once more as I emerge from my stint in the grishaverse

it was quite short (less than 2 months), considering the length of my other obsessions but it was definitely more intense than the other ones

[botanyshitposts]

Whats a lichen if not a plant

(Note: writing this response with Capitals™ bc its long and kind of hard to read otherwise, I’m trying to do that more with my longer posts)

Either an ecological event or a superorganism, depending on how you look at it.

To explain this. like. we do not ‘know’ what a lichen is. We know like, what they are, or at least we’re getting increasingly closer to finding out everything that makes up a lichen, but lichenologists have really struggled to define it as like, A Sole Thing. Botanists and mycologists of the past thought lichens were primarily fungi, because when you dried one out and weighed it, most of the dry weight was fungus; this is why today we still name lichens based on their fungal components, while it turns out that the give and take of all organisms in a lichen are pretty much equal.

It’s a symbiotic relationship, we’ve known that for a long time, but now we know, for instance, that some fungi can pair up with different species of algae to make different lichens. How can we reliably name something after it’s fungus if that fungus can pair up with different things to make multiple different ‘species’? And as of 2016 we know that lichens can have up to four different players: a fungus, an algae, a yeast, and (in some families) a second fungus, previously thought to be parasitic on the lichen itself. 

I will personally argue that lichens are an ecological event. To me, this theory gets down to lichen reproduction, which is….completely off the shits. 

Lichens can reproduce in a few different ways, the simplest ones being 1. a piece of lichen breaks off and lands in a fitting environment, creating a new lichen that’s a clone of the mother system, and/or 2. a lichen has special organs that release specially-made ‘mini lichens’ that have the main components packaged together into little ‘spores’ (these organs are called isidia and soridia, and look slightly different), creating a similar result to #1 with a clone of the mother system. 

Now, you may be wondering: ‘But lichens have sexual structures. can’t they have like, Lichen Sex™?’. Which. Like. This is where it gets wild, because it ties back to the ecological mystery of how lichens ‘make new lichens from scratch’ so to speak. 

The thing is, those sexual structures don’t have the components paired together. They only produce sexually-made spores of the fungus, and if these spores land in the right conditions, they won’t form a lichen, they’ll form a non-lichenized version of that fungus. So, conventionally, as we currently understand it, the way for them to form a new lichen would be for two compatible spores- one algae and one fungus, or like, one algae and one fungus or one yeast, we don’t know how those other components fit into the equation yet– to meet in the right conditions, under which case the pair recognizes each other and starts to spontaneously go down an entirely different developmental path to become a lichen. Keep in mind that lichen and algae spores are like…everywhere in the air and in the world around us, just the majority of them don’t find the proper growing conditions and die, so this does happen enough to make all the lichens we see on a day to day basis.

But. There are agonizing mysteries about this process. For example:

-We do not know how the algae and fungal spores, when they meet, know that they’re compatible in the first place. Like, on a cellular level. 

-We do know that after a certain point, the organisms involved are locked into their developmental path. They need to meet at an extremely young age (as spores) to become a lichen. If a mature fungus and a mature algae meet, nothing happens, even if they would have been compatible as spores.

-Science, to my knowledge, still has not yet been able to replicate the ‘lichens being made from scratch’ process in a lab. The spores will recognize each other and start developing on a microscopic level, and then they’ll just….stop developing and die, which is why we can only produce new lichens in a lab by growing sterilized fragments from old lichens. Whether or not we’ve just been like, missing all the ‘ingredients’ and you need a yeast or second fungus or something to finish the process, I have no idea. 

In conclusion: Lichens are mysterious soups. Lichens, to me, aren’t a thing that lives, but more like a thing that happens between living things. It’s an event of several different things coming together to proliferate on a tree or a rock or wherever, and they are everywhere, and we do not know everything about what they are or how they work. Some people, again, will call them ‘superorganisms’, which isn’t wrong either, but I personally like to think about them in a weird like…..temporal sense? Idk man they haunt me every day of my life. 

[wlwcoughlan]

I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best

//honestly idk where this starts i just need it out of my head, somewhere in boy wonder//

Cordelia couldn't help but keep her gaze at Misty the whole time. Misty — her Misty is back. It almost felt unreal, Cordelia never wanted to touch someone more than she wanted the younger blonde, just to make sure she was really there, and not just some fragment of Cordelia's imagination. She never admitted how she felt about the Cajun and regret filled her gut, that Misty was ripped away from her before she got the chance to. Losing Misty felt like a distant memory now but still so vivid she could almost feel Misty's body turning to ashes in her hands. Cordelia felt like she couldn't breath, how did it feel like losing someone she didn't even have? They had no particular label on their bond, how do you even label a person that feels like a piece of you?

//some time after honestly idk timeline isnt that important//

As Cordelia was getting ready for bed that night she heard faint knocking on her door. She made sure she looked decent and threw a small "Come in" over her shoulder, just loud enough for her visitor to hear.

A head of unruly, blonde curls peeked through. Small smile plastered on Misty's lips that did not quite reach her eyes.

"Are you busy, Miss Cordelia?"

Cordelia looked at the blonde and shaked her head. "Come on in Mist. What is it?" She asked sitting at the foot of the bed.

Misty stepped into the room, quietly closing the door after her but not fully entering as she stood by the wall as if she didn't know why she was there in the first place.

"I, uhm, that room I was given, well it's very spacious and I don't really wanna be alone-" She struggled through the sentence not making eye contact. Looking everywhere but at the Supreme.

"You can stay with me Mist." Cordelia offered without hesition. Before the Seven Wonders, she would sleep in Cordelia's bed since there was no room available considering Queenie moved back in.

She missed Misty's warm body against hers. She missed Misty's fingers that would play with Cordelia's hair while she was drifting off to sleep on Misty's chest. She missed their legs being all tangled up under the sheets. She missed the sense of security Misty provided. She just missed Misty.

Cordelia crawled under the covers patting the space beside her as an invitation for the other witch. Misty made no attempt to move from the position she was occupying.

"What is it dear? Why are you so far? I don't bite Misty." She said with a light chuckle.

"Well...no, but- it's just-" Misty sighed and tried to form a sentence one more time. "I've been gone for so long, and your life has changed so much and if you're with somebody I wouldn't wanna cause you any problems."

What? With somebody? "I don't think I know what you mean." She frowned at the blonde.

"We were sleepin' in the same bed before I- before I disappeared but it's been years, Miss Cordelia and..."

"Misty what are you talking about?"

"Madi said you've been seeing somebody and I don't want to make you uncomfortable." She blurted out. Misty continued "She said you've been seeing some guy." Cordelia couldn't utter a response with her mouth creating an "O" shape due to her surprise.

"And it's okay, really I'm happy for you, I know you had to move on and couldn't wait for me forever." Misty mumbled.

"Misty I-" Cordelia started but got cut off by the Cajun. "You don't need to explain anything, please. But I've been wanting to tell you something for quite some time now, and I know it's awfully selfish of me but hear me out." Misty toyed with the rings on her fingers, nervous habit that Misty told her about one night when they were working late in the greenhouse. Cordelia still unable to form a sentence just bobbed her head.

"I love you, Cordelia, and I have si-since forever. They say it's been 5 years but I feel like I spent eternity missing you."

She loved her, had so ever since they met.

"I don't expect you to say it back, don't feel like you have to. You lived a lifetime while I was stuck down there, I know it's a lot. But I need you to know, that I do. I love you. I loved the way your eyes sparkled when I got the spell right. I loved how you would thread your fingers through my hair when you were reading in bed and thought I was asleep. I loved when you taught me in the greenhouse. I loved how you would hum the songs when you were cooking or working. I just- I love you, all of you."

Cordelia just stood there. Candle-lit room doing wonders for Misty's beautiful features, her hair shone under the soft lighting making Cordelia question if she was dreaming.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?" If she did, she'd be braver than Cordelia could ever imagine being. Not sure if Misty heard her she repeated "Misty why didn't you—"

"I was scared." Scared? Cordelia was a lot of things, but scary didn't make the list, she thought. "I was scared that if I did you'd push me away. I didn't wanna lose you. You were the only person that gave two shits about me in that god forsaken coven and I wouldn't jeopardize that because of how I felt about you." Misty said finally returing her gaze to Cordelia. Her usually pale blue eyes now decorated with red rims around them. Tears stained her cheeks as her bottom lip wobbled but Cordelia never found her more beautiful than at this very moment.

"Misty I-" She what? Her heart longed for Misty but to Cordelia expressing her feelings never came easily. Cordelia could have lived hundred lives and not once deserve the perfection that was Misty Day. Not sure what she wanted to say she just closed her mouth and she felt tears slowly making its way down her neck.

"It's okay, Miss Cordelia." Miss Cordelia, oh god how I missed someone calling me that, Cordelia thought, pinching her eyes together. "I'm sorry, that I told you, but if I didn't now I'd feel like I lost my chance again. Well, I technically already did but that was bound to happen. I understand." Bloodshot eyes making contact with her chocolate ones, small smile that didn't reach Misty's eyes appeared on her soft face. "We can pretend I never said anything." She reached for the door handle.

"Where are you going?!" Cordelia jumped off the bed as if she got burnt, blurting out.

Misty just shrugged already halfway out the door. "I'm real sorry, Dee. I'm sorry it upset you so much, it wasn't my intention." She said fighting off another sob. "Goodnight, Miss Supreme." She smiled lightly and closed the door with a soft click.

How the night could be good if the love of her life just walked out the door, quite literally. Hand flew to her mouth in an attempt to stifle a loud sob. She closed her eyes, tears streaming down her face like waterfalls. She didn't even tell her that there was so man in her life. How could she tell Misty that in all the worlds, in every universe, her heart was hers, always?

[carryonmywaywardcaptain]

Imagine...being a demon and hunting Dean down

CarryOnCap’s Masterlist Dean Winchester Masterlist

Summary: When Dean says he knows you better than anybody, you’re surprised to find out that you may have more of a history with the Winchesters than you can remember...

Warnings: very slight Season 15 *SPOILERS* for like a paragraph; mentions of “need to kill”; slight angst and open-ish ending, but implied TFW 2.0 win

A/N: Written for @wayward-mikaelson​‘s #Daily Imagine Prompt and (unintentionally) for @winchester-reload​‘s #Suptober20 day 4 prompt “Brand” (even though I’m working on my actual entry sketches!)  Idk where this came from and it took a weird route. Also, there’s an unintentional...nod? paraphrasing maybe? of dialogue from CA: The Winter Soldier, so credit to the MCU writers for permanently snaking their way into my subconscious because my love for Steve and Bucky apparently knows no bounds.

“If it isn’t the notorious Dean Winchester,” you sneered. “As fun as this little game of cat and mouse has been, you Winchesters are really starting to piss me off.”

They’d been tailing you all across the country and you’d had enough. Sure, you were a demon, but it wasn’t like you set out to hurt anyone. As long as everyone else could mind their own business, you liked to think you were pretty easygoing. 

…aside from a few bloody slip ups here and there but, hey, who was counting?

At least you weren’t one of those crossroad douches in the soul collecting business. You preferred to spend your time topside, having fun and wreaking a little havoc now and again. It had been going just fine until those plaid-wearing pests became obsessed with you. Eventually you’d decided to hunt them down for a change so you could finally get a little peace.

You hadn’t spotted the tall, sasquatch Hunter yet, but you’d caught the green eyed one by surprise and knocked him to his knees. Glaring down at him with a smirk, you kept a firm hold on the pressure point of his shoulder to make sure he stayed right where you wanted him.

“Did the cat catch your tongue? Because, with all of our showdowns lately, I was expecting a little more of that quick wit you always seem to have stowed away.”

If you were being honest, he was a pretty fine piece of ass and you wouldn’t mind going a round or two with him under different circumstances. Even with the dopey look of intensity on his face, laced with...something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

Distress? Of course it would make sense for him to feel that way--you were a demon after all. Was there a hint of longing in the way he was staring at you? Maybe he couldn’t help thinking you were attractive despite what you were.

Who cares? You practically growled at yourself, chasing away something nagging in the back of your mind that told you there was more to his reaction. Pretending you didn’t actually care because you were incapable of such feelings anymore.

“D’you remember me?” he asked, eyes darting back and forth between yours.

Fuck, he was gorgeous. And it was really hard not to get caught up in his eyes. Why did that piss you off so much?

“Of course I do. You two meatheads have been on my ass everywhere across this godforsaken world,” you spat. “I know we’ve had a grand ol’ time and all, but listen up because I’m only going to say this once-- Leave. Me. Alone. If I catch you two on my tail again, I won’t be such a ray of fucking sunshine.”

He studied you for a long moment, seemingly unfazed by your threat.

“What do you remember about becoming a demon?”

You narrowed your eyes and tilted your head at his question. “What does that have to do with anything? And why the hell would it matter to you?”

“Because it does. Now I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess you don’t remember a whole lot about what happened to you. That there’s some gaps you just can’t seem to fill in.”

“And let me guess--you just happen to have all the answers to that because you know me so well?”

“I do. I know you better than anybody.”

You weren’t sure what game he was trying to play or how he could possibly know how disconcerting it was that you couldn’t recall a damn thing before the last month or two. Your life as a human, your time in hell-- you didn’t have the slightest idea who you were or what had happened to you.

But there was no way you were going to listen to some Winchester--even if your gut told you he was telling the truth.

“I highly doubt that,” you retorted, seething with defiance.

“You know me--”

“No I don’t,” you snarled, unsure why his words were making you feel so unsettled.

“Your name is Y/N L/N. You’ve known me and Sammy your whole life. You--ngh--”

He flinched and groaned in pain when you tightened your grip, digging your thumb into the hollow area just below the crook of his neck and above his collarbone. With your other hand, you withdrew a large blade from the side holster you’d crafted yourself.

“Sorry, sweetheart. I’ve had enough of the foreplay.”

Dean threw a sidelong glance at the weapon. His nostrils flared as he clenched his jaw and fixed his olive eyes on you again.

“I know you’ve been bouncing around looking for answers on that blade. Just like I know that underneath that jacket of yours you’ve got a mark on your arm. And I know from the small trail of bodies you’ve been leaving behind that you’re trying to fight that hunger you have to kill anything and everything around you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your voice quivered between your gritted teeth.

“It’s called the Mark of Cain. And that right there is the First Blade.” He nodded toward the weapon without a trace of deceit on his face. “I know the calm you feel when you’ve got the blade in your hand. And that power flowing through you? It scares the hell out of you.”

You grimaced, placing the antique blade against his throat as your chest began to heave from the growing rage pulsing through your veins. What gave him the right to pretend he knew a damn thing about you? 

Maybe he was right. Maybe you could admit the power did scare you sometimes. You didn’t exactly give a shit about right and wrong, but the overwhelming urge to kill left you feeling out of control. It was why you were trying to uncover answers about the brand on your arm. Why you were fighting a losing battle with the trembling hand gripping the blade now-- you wanted answers and you needed him to keep talking.

“How do you know all of this?” you demanded.

He swallowed uncomfortably and the blade bobbed against his Adam’s apple. “It was Chuck--uh, God. You’re a Hunter, Y/N. You, me, Sam, Cas, Jack--we’re family. Chuck’s trying to end the world and we were working to stop him. On our last run-in with him...we thought he killed you. But it turns out he sent you to some other universe he’d created. In this world I had the Mark and, when I died, I became a demon. In the other world he tossed you into, we think that’s what happened to you. ‘Bout a month or two ago, somehow you found your way back to this world and we’ve been trying to track you down ever since.”

Furrowing your brow, your eyes fell away from him as glimpses of the events he’d described flashed through your mind. You squeezed your eyes closed, trying to latch onto fragments of the hazy memories emerging from the depths of your subconscious...

Dean screaming your name, face contorted with horror. A small man with graying hair and a wicked grin snapping his fingers. Your hand gripping someone’s forearm, just as his strong hand grasped yours. The deep red energy that flowed from his arm to yours, searing through your veins until the Mark bubbled to the surface of your skin--the scar that was always itching to let the darkest parts of you reign free. 

“We can help, Y/N. Me and Sam can fix this.” Dean’s gruff voice was resolute as he briefly glanced away and begged you to consider his offer. “Just come with us and we can cure you.”

His words stirred something in your chest, making you realize he had triggered the faint prick of some long forgotten emotion. A small part of you longed to go with him, but it was miniscule and insignificant when you considered that “fixing this” might mean getting rid of the Mark. 

Despite the fear and lack of control it brought you, you were unwilling to give up the power or the blade. It was an addiction you had no intention of overcoming.

“Maybe I don’t want to be cured. The way I see it? There’s nothing to fix. Time to say goodnight, Dean-O.”

You raised the blade but, before you could strike, something cinched around your wrist. When the power coursing through you became dull, you turned in surprise to see that Sam had secured your wrist in one end of the cuffs he held. He reached for the blade with his free hand and swiftly dodged you when you lunged at him after releasing your hold on Dean. 

Snarling in rage, you again swung at Sam while he tried to wrestle the blade from your grasp. Dean suddenly collided with your back, circling his arms around you as he pinned your limbs to your sides. You thrashed your head and screamed as you tried to escape, but his cheek was pressed between your shoulder blades, tucked safely away from your efforts of fracturing his nose with the back of your skull.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he grunted, arms tense as he squeezed you tighter. “We’re gonna fix this. You’re okay, sweetheart.”

“Dean, I still...can’t...she’s too strong,” Sam grumbled.

You continued struggling while you gripped the blade with every bit of strength you had. As you fought the boys, you spotted a young man in a tan jacket walking toward you who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. He looked vaguely familiar and you surged toward him out of instinct, knowing he was a greater threat than the men holding you.

His hair was side swept, with a few of the sandy colored strands grazing his forehead. His eyebrows were drawn together over soft eyes, brimming with an array of emotions. The boy raised his hand in greeting, smiling in relief as if he’d managed to find a long lost family member. 

“Hello, Y/N... We’re going to help you. I promise. Sam and Dean will find a way to fix this.”

“Do it, Jack!”

“Any time now, kid.”

The boys shouted in unison and you paused for a fraction of a second as another series of memories flooded you. Before you could make sense of them, Jack reached out and pressed two fingers to your forehead.

Your knees buckled and your eyes fluttered closed as you slipped into unconsciousness.

CarryOnCap Crew (Forevers):

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[marvellfashion]

are you poc? i guess i don't care since i don't really expect you to answer this ask. here it goes. i'm a poc in fandoms... no. i'm a poc who has read books and comics, and watched tv shows and movies, and has consumed and engaged with fan content for the past 10 years of my life. if you want to tell me to "log off and go outside" i'd like to remind y'all that saying that can be funny in your (and many others) heads but i'd like to remind you of the existance of people like me who spent 10 years inside of their houses for reasons that we don't have to explain to you! and it hurts! sometimes all we have is the things that we have inside. and i wanted to ask you: how do you do it? how do you enjoy comics? or movies? is there any such a thing as critical consumption? i'm not sure if i believe it anymore... my eyes are open to the racism backstage, racism onscreen, how black and non-white characters are treated, misogynoir, sexism, whitewashing, straightwashing, pentagon/us military propaganda, the list is endless. fate the winx saga didn't do anything that we haven't see on the mcu or any other piece of media. and i can't unsee it and i can't unlearn it. (i don't want to.) the white man (he is an adult) who plays the white boy in ms marvel is a trump supporter and now everytime i see his face i feel ranço (a word that's too powerful to have an english translation.) i know he will be woobifiyed. maybe i should be better at separating the actor from the character. maybe i am good at this... and it's actually the guys that who move heavens for a white guy bc he played a character in their favorite disney property. twitter stan fandom power interference or whatever is called is... something that shouldn't be ignored anymore. everywhere i see it. every tv show and movie it's the same shit again. maybe i could find solace in comics but my favourite characters are going through superhell for the past 15 years and i can't find solace anywhere in this fucking website or twitter or the source material. there were no excitement in my life since my childhood ended and the stuff that i used to love now doesn't give me joy and the fandom is either too "i see/hear no evil" and its usually the part where i get the racism and fujoushi weirdos or too "i hate tony stark and i hate and i hate and i hate..." and this side of fandom i thought it would be more open to my endless frustration but now i see myself and there's no excitement in my life and there's no joy and... i'm tired of it. i'm tired of how fandom and media have treated black and non-white people... and i'm tired. how do you do it? how do you enjoy media knowing you're supporting the us military (and know that they're doing bad things to people)? how do you enjoy media knowing that the black witch girl (who is the closest i'll ever get) who is even at some point more popular than the ambiguous white passing character wont get 4 mediocre seasons at netflix even tho she was a better character than kiernans sabrina for more than 7 seasons? i think the trailers were dope... but now that i know things and i spot these things idk what to do. im going through a bad moment that lasted 10 years and my "Confort character" is an awful character bc its whitewashed and the fandom is 100% fragmented and weird compared to the fandoms of other characters. goodbye. i hope u have a nice day/night. i wrote another ask that was better written but i accidently erssed so... sorry

 I wish I could give you an answer that was comforting, but I don’t have it. First I want to tell you that everything that you’ve expressed in this ask is absolutely valid and you are rightfully frustrated.  

The truth is that I think most of us when we open a Marvel comic or watch a Marvel movie ( if it’s through piracy or not) we do it being aware of how problematic they are. there’s no other way around it. I know this answer probably doesn’t answer anything or calm any of your frustrations but it’s an honest one.

 I hope that at least this blog can be a place that can bring you at least one milligram of joy about the fandom in Marvel. and if you want to scream and shout in my ask about how you feel, you can and are absolutely welcome to do all that! 

 I wish you a nice day and night too. 

[iatasbcl]

Shades of Cool

Pairing: RK900 x Reader 

A/N: hey! I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I just got done with my finals so I can finally write again (woo). That being said, I don't feel like this is good enough so there is that. Also, this was heavily inspired by LDR’s ‘shades of cool’ MV.. sooo ya, maybe listen to that

Warnings: Character death, hallucinations, implied suicide, grief, IDK this is just sad

2 0 4 8

Richard closed his eyes and leaned against his chair. He tried to tune you out, to forget how sweet your voice sounded when you let out a laugh, to ignore how beautiful you looked as you swayed from side to side, he tried to push you out his mind. The logical part of him wanted you out while his consciousness wanted you to preserve you, or rather what’s left of you.

It was pathetic, he knew it. He knew you and him were not the same, that his thirium pump was not the same as your beating heart. He still loved you as his one and only, he had found what humans usually searched for years and years in a matter of a few months into his own life.

To him, you were perfect.

Can you promise me something, Richie?

Anything, my love.

He found you and you found him in the midst of the chaos of your daily lives. It wasn’t easy for him to understand his attachment to you first. But he grew to love it, to love you. Letting down the walls that were designed for him was a difficult task, but he broke through them one by one, only for you.

Life was not fair, not to him anyway. You were human while he was an android and both you knew what that would mean. He would outlive you at some point, he would continue to live while you wouldn’t.

Promise me that you will move on. That you will be happy without me, please.

He couldn’t. Not with the way the universe took you from him so soon. He tried; he truly did try to find happiness again because he promised he would. No lover could make him as happy as you did, they couldn’t make him smile just at the thought of them. Richard’s friends, family, and even colleagues all tried to help him move on and let go of you.

And he did, for a while. It hurt to live without the one person he wanted to share his days with, but he did, nonetheless. The world wasn’t done toying with him though.

He didn’t know what happened exactly. It must have been a malfunction in his memory, optical units, and audio processors. He started seeing you everywhere despite not accessing his memory. His memories of you started blending into his reality. You were dancing in your living room again, you were working next to his desk, you were reading quietly in the park, you were everywhere he went.

He remembered how he felt the first time it happened. He had headed home after a long night, mentally exhausted and ready to go into standby mode. He opened the door to yo- his apartment and he swore his thirium pump stopped when he noticed a shadowy figure on his sofa. Its silhouette was awfully similar to yours as the person continued to watch tv – which was turned off.

He called your name in a breathy whisper, but you didn’t respond at all. His legs rushed to you, could it be you? Were you somehow brought back? No. It wasn’t possible.

His logical thinking was right, it was the fragment of you. He discovered that when his hand passed right through your figure. His mind projecting you onto his life was the last thing he needed, or so he thought.

He could’ve had the issue fixed if he wanted to; he almost did.

In a sense, he had you in his life again. Sometimes you’d say the sweetest things to him, you’d let out that adorable laugh and he was hearing your voice again. He missed it, looking at you through his memories wasn’t enough before and now you were here, with him. He couldn’t hold you and truly talk to you, but the way memories of you came to life and haunted him in the best way possible was enough.

Others started to notice his increasingly strange behavior. He was brightening up of course, but he had distanced himself from others at the same time, only relishing in you.

+

“Richard, is it alright if I talked to you about something in private?” Connor had asked him on a quiet Monday. Richard looked up from his terminal for a second and noticed the concerned look on his counterpart’s face. He looked backed down and continued his work “I’d rather not.”

“Richard.” Came Connor’s stern voice, “Some of your biocomponents are malfunctioning. They have been that way for a while –”

Richard cut him off by slamming his hands against the table, “I said I don’t wish to talk. Leave me be, Connor.” Connor looked at him for a second, everyone was staring too as the loud sound had gotten their attention.

“Richard…” the man sighed. “Just leave me be. Please.”

+

Nines, are you sure you want to do this?

Yes. He was sure, he was so sure of his own calculations and abilities that he failed to consider any unpredictable variables. The criminal that shot you down from afar, how long the ambulance took to get to you and how he couldn’t stop you from bleeding out were all things that should not have happened. You weren’t supposed to take that bullet, he was.

He didn’t know why he even stood where you and he once were. This wasn’t a memory he was fond of and yet he came to this dark corner behind the building where your last bust occurred. He craved reliving as many memories of yours as he could.

+

You emerged once again as soon as his eyes fluttered shut. this time you laid next to him, your hands running through his hair or rather disappearing when you try to get in contact with him.

I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I was so scared.

Oh. It was a distinct memory that he had buried in the furthest parts of his head. You two had laid next to each other after a practically rough night where a suspect almost killed him. He would have, had not been for you. Both of you just laid next to each other. He remembered feeling numb while you trembled and quivered against him. It was part of your jobs and yet there you were, almost crying because you thought you had lost him.

You were just his partner; you shouldn’t have been so concerned about the well-being of an android. Or so he thought back then. Your relationship only progressed after that.

He missed you.

+

Why did you let me die, Richie?

Richard’s eyes snapped open. Your sweet voice was no longer that, instead it held a tone of animosity to it. You were angry. The trembling figure stood in front of him with their lips tight and expression sour. It was a look you had never given him before. How were you saying things you’d never said before?

I didn’t want to die. I was so scared. I just wanted to go home.

“I… I didn’t want you to die –” he began, wondering if this was what hell felt like.

You did. You took everything from. You killed me. You were supposed to be the perfect machine, but you couldn’t even save me.

The android stood still. You were right, this was his fault. It was because he was not efficient enough, it was because he made the wrong predictions, it was because he…

He was worthless.

Richie. Let’s go home.

He didn’t notice you wrapping yourself around him. He didn’t notice you backing off and giving him something – a gun. Come to me, baby. To you. He would go back to you. That is exactly what he wanted.  To go where you were. He stared at the gun.

He would always go back to you.

[buckymcbuttfacebarnes]

Bashful Creatures (4)

masterlist

(yall imma be honest with u i dont know what the FUCK is going on with my tags sometimes they work sometimes they dont, im finna edit this so if u get tagged twice IM SO SORRY)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: abt 1.8k

Summary: Y/N feels herself beginning to fall in love with her best friend. This part picks up immediately after the incidents of part 3!

Warnings: at this point yall know the drill

A/N: (extended portions written in italics are memories!) love y’all thank u so much for the kind feedback! let me know what u think of this part!!! soz it took 85 yrs school and stuff got me all effed up! i think i might do pt 5 in buckys pov?? or just do both in one and like switch off idk??

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

The sound of the door slamming shut resonated through you, stunned you, but you didn’t try to stop him from leaving. He needed space to cool off. The least you could do was give that to him. The deafening silence settled into something uncomfortable and awkward, even though it was just you and it. You and the silence. It felt like wearing a shirt too tight for your body, an ill-fitting second skin that you couldn’t seem to peel off.

Your eyes flitted around your bedroom, the place where you had retreated immediately after the ordeal, fragments of Bucky were everywhere. In your bed, at your desk, in the silvery glow of the moon’s rays shining through your window... They seemed to haunt the room with his presence, making it impossible to do anything but focus on him. Nothing but the things you had said and the things he had said to you rung in your head. Over and over again. How could you have let the situation escalate so quickly? Why did it escalate so quickly?  

To escape his phantom presence, you wandered the empty compound, heart beating loudly in your ears as if you were still in the midst of yelling at the man you love so dearly, like you were still caught in the thick of it. Am I your friend or your fucking babysitter? Your fingers twitched and fiddled, wiping dismissively against the sides of your thighs or being shaken out as if wicking water off of them. You imagined his face in your head, the sad  tears that rolled down his cheeks. He let you hold him then. You should have kissed them away and soothed his troubles, assured him of your presence. I’ve come back to you. You should have just told him:  I love you, Bucky. God, how terribly you wanted him to tell you that he loved you too. It seemed so far-fetched, like some unattainable dream. Nothing more than whimsical fantasy because there was no way in hell someone as beautiful as Bucky might love you too. Someone so kind and cunning. Coy and charismatic. Someone so sweet...it seemed impossible that your infatuation could be made into something real. That this was more than some paltry story of love unrequited.

The empty spaces of the compound did nothing to help you escape him. You saw him everywhere you went.

As he swung you around you looked to him with the widest smile, your cheeks were beginning to ache.  You couldn’t suppress the laugh that bubbled from your lips, spilling out of you like a kettle boiling over.

“What? What?” he asked defensively, the grin on his face betraying his tone. “Hold on, we haven’t even gotten to the best part!”

It was just the two of you, alone in the compound, and you were embracing every moment of it.

“Quit laughin’ and  listen,” he shushed, tapping his ear with a forefinger before his hand returned to its place on the small of your back.

“I’m listening!”

“You aren’t if you’re ta—” You cut him off by placing a hand over his mouth. You ignored his warning look and slowly removed your hand, revealing his smiling mouth.

The music that blared from the speakers beside the TV  began to swell with the clear, bubbly blare of trumpets. It filled the sunlit room and mingled with the sounds of your uncontrollable giggles and his successive chuckles. It filled  you with an unimaginable warmth. Your heart began to pound faster, was it the music? Or was it Bucky? The way he was smiling, with all of his pearly whites showing, so wide that there were crinkles at the corners of his eyes. Maybe it was the loose strands of hair that framed his face, or the two aquamarine eyes that peered down at you, glittering like two of the most beautiful gemstones you had ever seen.

Perhaps it was the way his hands rested comfortably against your back. There was a time where he was weary about touching you at all. A time where he worried he might frighten you, or underestimate his strength. A time where he wouldn’t remove his glove, even though you’d seen the sparkling metal countless times on missions.  He thought it to be a threat. A  reminder of his dark past, some sort of defect that made him unloveable. How could he believe such a thing when you were standing there in front of him, hands clasped at the back of his neck, grinning up at him like a fool? How could he believe such a thing when the look of love shined in your eyes the way the metal of his left hand glinted in the hot sun? How could he believe such a thing when you loved him?

On a day that felt like yesterday, you had fallen in love with Bucky Barnes. In that moment it felt right, the warmth that spread through you, the way your fingertips seemed to grow hot, and you chewed unknowingly on your lower lip—a telltale sign of nerves. He didn’t seem to notice though, so you basked in the feeling, let it wash over you like the build of the beautiful music he had playing in the background. In that moment, there was no doubts. You confidently thought, This is love. And it was.  

And though after those few sweet moments you’d begun to doubt your feelings were there or that they were more than some immature thirst for romance, the fondness you harbored in your chest for him then remained there for a long time. Now it seemed to burn brighter than ever.

You continued your aimless trek through the compound, your bones felt heavy, your body sluggish. You made a stop in the kitchen to pour a glass of water. Your eyes flickered to the kitchen table that you had once sat at. Where Bucky had stood across from you and vulnerably asked, “Where were you last night?” He had told you he had been looking for you. An indirect way of saying that he had needed you and you weren’t there.

You knew that...yet you still stared into those suddenly child-like eyes and gave him gave him a painfully pathetic reply: “I was out. Had a hot date.”

It was hard not to cringe at the thought of the pitiful exchange. How the fuck was he to forgive you after something like that?

Your eyelids pressed shut, squeezing together in some attempt to force the memory from your brain. Heavy shudders of breath left your parted lips. Weary elbows came to rest upon the cold countertop, your head hung low in your hands. How did this happen? You asked silently. Tears sprung to your eyes and a sudden sob racked your body. You hadn’t expected to cry, but it washed over you in a forceful wave. It was turbulent and uncontrollable. You were glad he wasn’t here to see it. Partly because you feared he might cry again too, partly because it was possible that he may not care at all. How could I leave him all alone? You thought of the way his eyes glistened with tears. How his hands hesitantly came up to pull yours from his face. The way he had fled so urgently from your touch, as if your hands might cause him some physical harm. The thick lump that had formed in your throat choked you, you heaved heavy breaths between your violent sobs. You wept until your eyes formed no more tears, until your head throbbed, until you were completely exhausted.

With a glass of water in hand, you made your way to your room, mind blank. On the way, you abruptly stopped and turned around. You let your legs carry you without protest. They seemed to know where they were going.

You ended up at Bucky’s door. You didn’t know when he would come home, but you knew that when he did, you wanted to be with him. And so you entered. Heavy lidded eyes glanced around the room as the light flickered on. There was a bed, a plain bedside table, a desk, a desk chair. He was more for functionality than style, you had always known that. Upon his desk was a photo of himself and Steve. The surface of his bedside table was covered by a record player, the only special thing that he had ever really asked for. There were a couple plants here and there, courtesy of you. You had wanted to liven up the painfully minimalistic room just a little bit. You flicked the switch and the room went dark again. Curled up beneath his duvet, you inhaled deeply through your nose, exhaling loudly. It was all Bucky. You longed for him. For his gaze, for his touch, his laugh, his silky voice.  You withheld another sob. You needed him here.

When he got home you would tell him. You would tell him that you loved him, that you were sorry. You imagined his warm body slipping into bed beside you. He would hold you in his arms and maybe then you’d tell him. Or maybe he’d say he didn’t want to talk and instead you would fall asleep together. Bodies intertwined like unruly vines, breaths perfectly synchronized. He would sleep all night because he only slept well when you were there to keep him tethered to reality. You’re here, we’re together. It’s alright. You’ve come back to me.

You would wake to the soft crackling of a record on its turntable and the great crescendo of some euphonious song that he happened to know. He might get you to dance with him, as he often liked to do. Swing you around the room and send you smiles full of mischief. Or maybe he’d be lying beside you still asleep. The only music would be the sound of his gentle huffs of breath. You would look upon his softened features, dotingly stroke his cheek, then maybe blush in embarrassment at your sentimental behavior. You would ignore the bashful smile that would force itself upon your lips, ignoring your brain’s protests, and hope that things could be like this all the time. You would tell him so. You would tell him you loved him. You would say that you’re never going to leave. He would say he loved you too.

When you woke the next morning, you woke to an empty bed. Bucky had not come home that night.

@slender–spirit @katielu-blog @bookhoggerph @sergeant-james-bbarnes @killjoynotes @thirstresponsibly @cherrywinedarling @janeyboo @buckybarnesxoxo @depressed-fangirl​ @tchallaholla @rheasneonjournal @lilypalmer1987 @zeonxox @sarahp897 @sebspeach @kat-lives @graveyardfairy @fandom-obsessed-girl @painkiller80  @i-had-a-life-once @writingsleepless @starkxpotts @damagelove @buckybarnestrashh

i had to come back and fix the effing tags since they dont know how to act so if yall got tagged like 849 times it was my fault soz im a dumbass love yall!

message me if you’d like to be added to the taglist for this fic<3

[wobblegong]

I was going to squee about my space-cat but I just got shotgunned through the Chains of Harrow quest & subsequent orbiter thing so instead I’m going to spew my thoughts everywhere. I have too many emotions about this ok. WARNING: Massive story spoilers (for many quest lines), massive gameplay spoilers, massive worldbuilding spoilers, BASICALLY NOTHING BUT SPOILERS UP IN HERE. You probably don’t want to read this unless 1. you’re caught up on everything including 2. you dgaf and find me nattering about a game you don’t play interesting. (~2200 words.)

I. Gameplay/Mechanics

Chains of Harrow is VERY WELL DONE, jfc. I continue to be impressed by Warframe’s execution. Some previous quests weren’t quite ideal but this one... this one was on point.

(Shout-out to my game dev friend who does totally unrelated stuff and their ANGUISHED GROAN when I asked how they’d do the one bit with moving the audio around in their not-Warframe engine; they stared into Hell as they contemplated it. “But Unreal engine apparently lets you do it just fine.” It’s so fun to be reminded that one engine’s effortless task is another engine’s “the only thing that eclipses the suffering this would require is your hubris”.)

There were spoopy screen effects, not that I’m surprised– already seen plenty of demonstrations of what they can do when I get flashbanged or fade in/out of a menu. One section has you chasing directional audio aka heading towards wherever the sound is coming from. (This was the worst section for me, I had to pause three times to get my panic wrangled.) The talking-heads approach to story, combined with the setting, combined with a few lite-cutscenes & one interactive segment... was actually fucking perfect. I usually feel like the exposition-dumps are somewhat contrived and aggravating, but here I was SOLD.

If I had any criticism, it’d be that the spoopy starts wearing off like 1/3 of the way in and just keeps eroding until the end isn’t spoopy at all. It didn’t feel like a deliberate tone-shift, just that they ran out of jumpscare (which is what the spoopy is 100% made of) and didn’t really replace it with anything. I don’t consider it a drawback though... if it had actually been scary the whole way through I’d be a gibbering jelly. Also everything else going on is so fantastic that I prefer the lack of distraction.

I did laugh when the main combat section goes Ghostbusters: you have to trap a spoopy in a box you toss on the floor, complete with a glowy beam trapping said spoopy. Mild grumble because I wasted a dozen traps before I googled wtf to do in that section (hint: APPLY BULLETS TO BAD THING) but fine, if I hadn’t been accidentally lied to I would probably have tried that first instead of faffing around.

Final “boss” fight was indeed kind of a bear but I was warned beforehand that I was gonna get punched out like forty times so when I only got punched out thrice it was like all my namedays had come at once! HOLY FUCK DON’T DO IT BEFORE YOU’VE DONE THE GARA QUEST THO & GOTTEN AN OPERATOR AMP ON CETUS. This quest predates all that BUT THE AMP IS GOOD. EVEN A BAD AMP IS BETTER THAN NO AMP. So... hot tip, get your little shit a little piece of shit and be thrilled when you can actually kill the boss fight adds in under 12 hours.

Ok no I have one true criticism: BLOOD ISN’T RED WAX, WHY WERE THE BLOODY MESSAGES ON THE WALL THAT COLOR. Actually they were... really 3D... ... ...maybe it WAS wax? Where the fuck did the spooperson get so much red wax for writing creepy messages?

II. Story

So the story is that you get a haunted I mean hecked up transmission, it’s spooky; you go to a fucked-up empty ship and find one Red Veil chick just hanging out with her cat. She says a lot of baffling things and then forty ex-Red-Veil zombies/ghosts/possessed assholes try to murder you, ineptly. Ok maybe they’re less inept if they’re not going in ultra-slow-motion. (My god, I will never stop being happy that Frost Prime was my first frame. So good and useful when I’m going into shit blind.)

You haul RVC (Red Veil Chick) out of there and plunk her ass down in the Steel Meridian camp because I guess the factions like each other enough for casual favors like that. She says some more barely-less-confusing shit and very earnestly (there’d be dewey eyes and heaving bosoms if she wasn’t wearing a full-body-inculding-head suit) begs you to go find some relic. Off you go to another fucked-up empty ship! UNNECESSARILY CREEPY WHISPERS lead you to said relic, which was the thing Rell focused on for soothing because most sensory stimulation was too much for him. Wait, what? And then ASSHOLE MCINVINCIBLE tries to stick his hand up your ass like a puppet and if you’re me you sprint in circles for 30 seconds crying while the NPC frantically tries to get you out.

You go back to RVC and she does a seance. It works. To summarize/paraphrase including story bits revealed further into the quest line, Rell was one of the Tenno who got shunned out of the gaggle even before they all got Tenno’d. Apparently this put him in a position to discover what the fuck is in the Void, at which point he had his meatsack body killed so his mind(/soul/whatever) could be chained to his specific ‘frame, leaving him awake/conscious to keep doorstoppering the badbadnotgood, even while the other Tenno were off snoozing per the Lotus’ plans. A line of RVCs (Red Veil Chicks) were in on this and dedicated themselves to... looking after him, inasmuch as you can look after someone who shoveled themself into a robot that’s been chained up somewhere it’ll never see the light of day. They could talk to him anyways– I guess they were mostly there to keep him from going bonkers and maybe intervene if anything ever went wrong.

Anyways, that’s all fine right up until it isn’t; RVC & the Lotus determine that his transference fucked up and fragmented so you need to go Ghostbusters the creepy phantoms of this guy’s psyche. Collect them all while dodging ASSHOLE MCINVINCIBLE (and a smattering of forgettable mooks– fuck off Infested, I don’t care if it’s your ship) and RVC thanks you/tearfully asks you to take them back to where his ‘frame rests so he can die because THAT’S ENOUGH SUFFERING FOR ONE PERSON THANKS.

Nothing gets to be easy, not even that, so when you find the ‘frame and start snapping its chains it wakes up. RVC has about five seconds to go “thaT’S NOT RELL” while your little shit self scurries behind a pillar before boss fight! Red Veil operatives (except dead or mind controlled or who knows what) try to punch you out while some kind of awful red glowing tear pops in and out to fireball you. But eventually you snap all the chains and yaaaay Rell gets his eternal rest. (I’m not crying, you’re crying.)

III. Meta Story/Worldbuilding

It’s SUCH A THING to me that RVC casually knows what the Tenno are. I mean, ok, makes sense because the RVCs were so involved with Rell, buT LIKE. MAN. NOBODY ELSE KNOWS. THE “KIND OF HAVE A CLUE” PEOPLE STILL DON’T KNOW MORE THAN “IF YOU DISSECT A WARFRAME YOU WILL NOT FIND ANYTHING THAT EXPLAINS WHAT THE TENNO ARE”. Fuck, I think the RVC even dresses down the Lotus over it a la “fuck u, u say they’re ur kids but u suck and u never knew about Rell”.

They completely skate right past RVC setting up shop in the hyper-secret Steel Meridian HQ. “Yeah, no big, me and my ouija board are gonna hang out at the secret base of a completely different faction, which happens to be located like three centimeters from the balls of the genocidal maniacs they defected from. Sorry you keep seeing my kavat in the background of my transmissions.” W h a t . ?

...ok, side thoughts out of the way: OH FUCK OH FUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK THE MAN IN THE WALL

As of this point in Warframe’s existence (out of game I mean) they have done... not the WORST job defining the Void, but of course a lot of it hasn’t been written out. (Both because good storytelling and also because the writers probably haven’t gotten that far. :p) Things we do know:

The ship of people who got stuck in there was (afaik) 100% casualties among all the adults. Fuckers all went feral apparently? But the kids lived. Although they came out weird and dangerous (understatement). People do still go into the Void atm, generally via opening a portal on another planet. People... don’t always come OUT of the Void, although presumably they come back out often enough for the major powers to feel like it’s not a waste of time to ransack that shit. I don’t know where they stuck this lore but iirc there’s some kind of horrible THING in there that basically shoves some kind of hijacking device into you, if it catches you, and then it controls you forever. (IDK if dying gets you out of it or if it can just be like HA HA NICE TRY MEATPUPPET and get you back up. With how this setting is, could go either way.) This is why all the Void tilesets have a variety of mob types: the THING has been hijacking the assortment of factions that wander in. Like I said, people don’t always come back out during those expeditions.

So the first badbadnotgood hint I personally played through was at the end of The War Within (Space Lil’ Shit 2 Electric Boogaloo, Now With More Tremors). It’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it brief, but while Space Dad is congratulating you, your Operator suddenly stares into the camera, eyes turning into voids, and a creepy voice taunts you, something about “don’t forget what you owe me kid” or the like. It’s a single line, but the way the camera snaps around (complete with some fucking over-the-top visual effects) & Space Dad catches your arm while you shake it off... thaaaaaat’s not a trivial hallucination.

Anyway. Among other things, during the Chains of Harrow the RVC is very fucking explicit about how Rell was grappling with/cockblocking a specific “vast and indifferent” entity that lives in the Void. Offhandedly, The Lotus dismisses this while mentioning that basically all Tenno have mentioned or claimed similar things. (RVC keeps on insisting.) Right before Rell finally dies, he asks who’s gonna take over his job if he stops, and the RVC coos that all the other Tenno will have to help now.

I have been told by one friend– without checking around, so could be wrong, but– that once you’ve finished the Chains of Harrow you’ll periodically get jumpscared on your ship by a creepy asshole who looks identical to your Operator, but has a different (asshole) voice. Said friend randomly turned around once and what looked like their Operator was sitting on their nav console. And taunted them. Said friend sprinted down to the transference pod to make sure their Operator was in the right place– they were– but was pretty freaked out by it.

Obviously, we don’t have much more detail at this point, but uH. This is not painting a rosy picture of the shit lurking out there in the Void. To me this is pointing towards some kind of extradimensional horror that you really don’t want to draw the attention of... and we’ve gone and done that. Possibly even that the Tenno were lucky to scamper away the first time after it got to play with an entire ship of people (some guessing there, but given its asshole moves so far...) and going anywhere near the Void after that was about as wise as standing on a hilltop in a thunderstorm while double-dog-daring Zeus.

I’m so excited to find out how fucked we are.

Given what the orbiter shit involved, the answer is probably very, and also creatively. BALLAS? WHAT?? WHAT?????

IV. Further Thoughts

I really would love to hear the perspectives of autistic folk. That said, I... more or less liked how the Chains of Harrow handled Rell? The quest established that he was very different; the other kids-eventually-Tenno ignored him, while his mother loved him (I’m open to other interpretations but everything I heard pointed to sincerity). He had the intelligence and agency to deal with badbadnotgood, and while the RVC had a certain maternal vibe she was pretty damn reverent when discussing what he’d done/was doing. Also (maybe most importantly in my reckoning) he didn’t get a happy ending, but he succeeded at what he was doing. By this setting’s standards that’s a rosier conclusion than almost anyone else gets.

Now that I’m thinking of it, I’m racking my brains for any parties that have known the truth of the Tenno and been kindly disposed towards them without getting all maternal/paternal. I’m coming up blank. (The fuck is with this setting and everyone treating them like kids btw? All indications are that they stopped aging so they look like young teens, sure, but all indications are ALSO that they’ve lived awhile time, even excluding their cryosleep! I’m willing to believe a certain amount of “their brain maturity stalled along with the rest of their aging so they have the hardware of a 13yo” but that wouldn’t undo living long enough to form a small civilization. SOME parts of teenagers not being like adults are hardware, but a lot of it is pure lack of life experience, which the Tenno have in spades by now. Also, you know, THEY PSYCHICALLY POWER SPACE NINJA ROBOTS, SHOW SOME RESPECT.)

...

And now I’m going to pass out to sweet dreams of tomorrow’s fully-grown space-kitty.

[ritarants]

this is weird Ne-leads have a vast "knowledge" base but it barely scrapes the surface... they usually have a hard time finishing books/shows/movies 90% of it is extrapolation. it's precisely because they have to fall back on that mechanism so frequently that they're able to look at a person and make an educated guess on their character using a few fragmented details in order to create a mental framework - based on a loose framework that existed long before they even interacted with you - which expands/shifts the more information they gather. it's just that the framework they started out with is sort of the foundation that keeps it all together that's like, why they get bored halfway through everything, they know how the story goes, so why finish the book liek I've fucking read this before Ne is knowing that if you don't know something then it's easier to be vague and elusive and make the other person's imagination do all the work sometimes Ne is just "I bet the movie was about two unlikely teens falling in love but people and circumstances were like NO but they do it anyway and memories are created but then BAM they can't see each other anymore but oh wait now they can, the end, happily ever after" but it's very different from Ni, I feel like ILIs are some of the best at picking out "vibes", the few times I've heard ILIs describing people, it's never with static words really... it's like "I notice that you're usually moving in this direction but then sometimes it changes and you do this but underneath that there's a lot of this" and it's very much about describing how you vibe on a wavelength and it's like that flat-line machine before people die and if you talk to an intuitive about their partner you'll notice that they're usually with them for more shallow reasons but they won't say that, they'll probably frame it more like yeah they're [x, y, z positive traits] because the thing about intuitives is that they're usually good at appearing how they should in order to get what they want, whereas sensors are actually more likely to get together with someone for more personality-related reasons, intellect, humor, etc I don't know man, I just remember watching a video someone here posted of an ILE-SEI couple and if you listen closely you'll notice that most of what the ILE praises the SEI for is caring and loving her, doing things for her, having a lot of interests which she then shares with him, being attractive and fashionable, it's not shallow per se. it's just that it's a lot about... doing, physical manifestations of love in a way. whereas the SEI went into a lovely list about how clever, compassionate, idea-driven she was... idk personality shit IDK I feel like SLEs can be really YEHh fuck bitches get money pew pew pew on the surface but I think even when they're saying something potentially offensive about their partner it's like, I don't know, concealing something deeper, I really do think they love them in their own stupid jock way in fact I think they're more capable of love than IEIs, most of the ones I've known have been sort of BPD energy vampires (sorry that's totally rude and it's not all of them but like I odn't know man, I try to avoid the females with a ten foot pole because they've got serious mental issues and not the excusable kind, the kind where they know they're being a huge pile of emotionally manipulative shit but they think it's ok because they're hot but there'll come a day where they won't be anymore and everything will catch up to them soz not soz work on your personality, not on your fake victim-esque backstory Idk i think it has something to do with intuitives being confident in their interestingness and cleverness and whatever else, like they are confident in their ideas about the world, which is not to say that sensors can't be, just that they might be a little more skeptical that they may be those things, for intuitives, especially Ne-egos, the highest of compliments is someone being with you despite the fact that you don't really take care of your appearance I don't know, it's hard to explain. it's just like if you're an intuitive then you'll most likely find the fact that someone likes you despite the fact that you look how you do, you'll find that extremely touching, like it will warm your heart sorta, and feed your ego, sensors might want more appreciation for their brains though. whereas sensors aren't ALWAYS confident in this, it's just that compliments to this area aren't exactly perceived the same way no offense but I feel like some people don't actually apply this socionics knowledge to real life... like you'll see a thread titled "EIIs and [insert idiosyncrasy here that ISN'T mentioned in type descriptions but something about it seems vaguely true even if not directly written in a description] someone fucking swoops in like a wrecking ball and what do they post *direct quote to a socionics article* "Well, it is not mentioned here. Therefore it does not exist. I'm an intuitive, by the way." which is totally bullshit because if you actually were then you'd be able to look beyond the words themselves and dig a little deeper sort of points to you being a sensor, but that's not an insult, the insult here is that you're a dumb sensor like holy shit man congratulations that's actually the equivalent of plagiarizing when you're asked to answer in your own words thoo.... idk man I feel like I'm only doing this because it provides me with a vocabulary where I can better explain things that I've observed myself but then someone takes the theory super fucking seriously like they really do not understand that this is just a loose framework - one of millions of frameworks btw - and that there were probably a lot of thoughts and revelations that preceded the descriptions, so if someone says hey are IEEs cold then the answer should be HMM Ne is literally detached by nature, they're labeled psychologists which should further reinforce the fact that they're detached since psychiatric evaluations even if not administered by a professional will still require a detached standpoint, they're usually spacey and head in the clouds... until they're not, and Fi is slightly more detached in the sense that there are fewer emotional displays and Fi-creative, as stated literally everywhere.... can even just up and forget people they've spoken to before, which can even be correlated to the Ep temperament, very much driven by irrational whims idk I seriously don't think it's healthy to glorify intuitiveness like it's so awesome to have a huge brain because half the problems self-proclaimed intuitives on here claim to have don't match up AT ALL with the ones I know elsewhere, Ne-leads in particular have literally such a hard time finding the motivation to do anything because Ne = everything is insignificant essentially, and they are actually deatched from their bodies, I think my ILE ex ended up in the hospital for having such terrible health, and I know my friend's ILE does a shit bunch of drugs because he is literally totally unaware of how much he can do before it's too much, just totally loses himself in it, and if they don't have Si-caregiving type bizzness in childhood then it's extremely hard for them to get anywhere in life beause they just fall in a pit of their own... idk....... but my ILE ex was extremely depressed it was just kept a secret mostly and he had to take meds for it because boredom to him was literally equivalent to death, it's hard to explain, but I really had to go over to his palce and pull him out of bed alll cute-like else he'd stay there for days just wasting away because ILEs absolutely require emotional encouragement and they need it consistently, and comfort and familiarity as well, or else they just lose their way I don't really feel bad for Ni-leads tho, I kind of think they're mooches, really annoying and don't actually do anything for humanity

[ladieslovingladiesandfics]

Better Late Than Never

Anon asked:  HEYYYY! I hope you did good on your finals. Heaven knows I didn't 🙄. Could I request a fic Wynonna x Reader where reader is Waverly's best friend that has been flirting with Wynonna and during a revenant attack saved Wynonna's life? And Wynonna realizes she likes her back.

I did pretty good. I mean I passed ma classes so I’m gooood.

And you got it babes! I’ll see what I can do. Also I’m sorry I didn’t upload this yesterday. I passed out haha.

Warning: This is short, hilarity, injury, angst, blood, idk wtf i was writing????

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Waverly wants to kill her sister.

Don’t worry, she loves Wynonna but what the hell? How could her sister be so fucking dense to the affections of Y/N, who flirted with her mercilessly. Her best friend thought it was fruitless to keep pursuing her sister.

Which has lead the youngest Earp to sit in front of her sister, arms crossed in front of her chest and a confused Wynonna sitting in front of her. “What’s wrong, Wave?” asks the heir, sipping from her jug of bourbon. 

The young woman snatches the jug away, tossing it into the trash can beside her, with her elder sister whining in protest. “We need to talk about Y/N.”

“What about her?” The gunslinger huffs out. “Did you really need to throw my drink away, Wave? Come o-”

“God damn it, Wynonna, she likes you!” Waverly throws her hands into the air, exasperated. “She likes you!”

The elder sister stops, staring at her younger sibling with wide eyes. She points a finger at herself. “Me?”

“Yes! You! You fucking dense woman.” she rolls her eyes. “Y/N has been flirting with you for a while now. How the hell do you no-”

“Wynonna! Wave!” Nicole busts through the door of their home, Dolls right behind her. “We got a problem.”

“How bad?” her hand falls down to her gun.

“Y/N has been taken hostage.” Dolls answers.

Waverly’s heart drops, and Wynonna has never looked so pale. It was the Earp heir that runs out the door first, with the others following behind.

“The moment I get my hands on that fucking Revenant, I’m going to fucking kill them.” Wynonna glares at the barn where Y/N was, her hand on Peacemaker. “I want them to die slowly, I want to see them burn for hurting Y/N, I’m going to fucking march in there-” “No you fucking won’t.” Doc interjects, seeing Nicole and Dolls mumble amongst each other for a plan. “We can’t loose the Earp heir.”

“But if I don’t do anything, Y/N will be killed!” Wynonna snaps, then turns to the barn. “I’m going in.” and with the screams of her friends behind her, the woman rushes into the barn headfirst. She kicks the door down, Peacemaker drawn and in her hand. “Hands up, motherfucker!”

“Wyn!” Why was Y/N up in the rafts? Why was there a long rope? Why was- oh God.  “Evenin’,” the demon tips his hat to the heir, his hand on the back of the hostage. “Drop the gun, doll.” he demands, ready to push his victim off of the edge. “Else, your pretty lil friend here will die.”

Wynonna pauses and slowly begins to put the pistol down, “Please,” she sounds broken. “Don’t hurt her.”

A second Revenant appears from the shadows, kicking Wynonna into the dirt. 

“Hasta la vista, darling.”

“Y/N!”

Dolls appears from the window, having climbed up into the rafters. grabbing the bastard by the neck and kicking him off. Y/N was being safely lowered on to the ground.

Doc and Nicole burst in next, shooting the second man as Wynonna picks up Peacemaker. She shoots him in the head, before running over to Y/N. “Y/N! Oh thank God,” the moment her feet touch the ground, she helps remove the rope. She brings the woman in for a loving embrace, “I thought I was gonna lose you.” 

“Not yet, Wyn,” Y/N says with a chuckle. “Not yet.” when they separate, Y/N in hales deeply, “Wyn, I-” “Look out!”

Y/N pushes the woman to the ground, a shot ripping through their body, blood spattering everywhere. Wynonna screams, catching the falling body. “Y/N! Y/N! Don’t you fucking dare die on me I, I.”

“Wyn,” the woman murmurs, resting her head on her bosom. “I love you, Wyn. I love you.” and she closes her eyes.

“Y/N?” Wynonna shakes her body. “Y/N!”

“Wynonna, come on!” Doc helps lift the body into the patrol car, as they rocket towards the hospital. All the way there, Wynonna holds her hand, and prays.

“You may see her now.” 

Wynonna is the first into the room, tears leaving her eyes when she sees Y/N lying on the bed. Broken, but alive. “Hey you.” she was still covered in blood, but it didn’t matter at the moment. “How ya doing?”

Y/N smiles softly, “Fine. You?” “Alive, thanks to you.” she leans over, kissing her cheek. “Hey, Y/N...I can’t believe I never figured this out before,” she laughs awkwardly. “I like you. a lot.

Y/N laughs, shaking her head. “It’s better late than never Wyn. Come kiss me.” 

“You sure? I don’t wanna hurt you.” “Shut the fuck up and kiss me.”

[bloodstained-porcelain-doll]

Gold (Gabriel x Reader)

Request(s): Did someone say Gabriel requests?! I would love a gabe mate!one where they are the only ones to see their wings but only when there is like a connection made (emotional love sort of thing) and Gabe helps the reader out after a nightmare and when she wakes up she is under a dome of golden wings and its like that for weeks until she tells gabe how beautiful they are and like a fluff ending? Sorry if its long

and

Okay…. How about the reader is separated from her family and she keeps having nightmares about them dying in the worst possible ways. Sam and Dean have tried everything to help, but they can’t really, so they’ve giving up. They’re still there for her if she goes to them of course, and Cas has tried as well but nothing he tries works. Gabe staying in the bunker for like a few nights because of idk… And everyone sleeps through her screaming, but he hears her and you know, throw in some fluff.. Word count: 1608 Warnings: Nightmares, graphic descriptions of death. A/N: Cover art and beta’ed by @pepperwoodatnight

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“Mum!” you screamed. Someone was grabbing you from behind and holding you, stopping you from running to your mother. A vampire had her by her throat, and you saw every detail of her death. Her screams rung in your ears, the smell of guts and blood attacked your nostrils. You screamed for your life when the vampire drained your mother completely, and only then did the vampire let your mum go, and she fell to the ground with a thud. (Y/N)!” Sam yelled when he shook you. You screamed and shot up from the bed in a second, Sam catching you in his strong arms. “(Y/N), talk to me, what was it this time?” he asked softly. “V-vampire,” you stuttered and took a deep breath. You let Sam wrap his arms around you and stroke your back until you’d calmed down.

“NO! GET AWAY FROM HIM!” you shouted, but the werewolf didn’t listen, and all you could do was watch as it tore your father to shreds, and then your sister. “Wake up, come on, sweetie,” Dean urged and shook you lightly. You sat up and looked around, covered in cold sweat. “Hey hey, take a breath, you’re okay…”

You weren’t okay. Never. Almost every day started with a cold shower and a heavy layer of concealer to cover up your dark circles that became more and more prominent for every nightmare. For weeks this had been going on. Sam tried to comfort you and talk about it, Dean tried to get you drunk at night to ease the dreams, and Cas tried working some mojo on you, but nothing ever helped.

“Gabriel is going to stay here for a few weeks,” Castiel explained to you. “Okay, yeah sure, why?” “He’s being hunted and needs a place to hide out for a while. Sam and Dean agreed, rather reluctantly, but nevertheless they agreed.” “Okay,” you said again and shook hands with the archangel. You’d met him before and you always liked him, despite not knowing him too well. “Hey Gabriel,” you said and smiled. “Hello, princess, can I call you that?” he asked. “Well I mean, you could always call me (Y/N), but uh… sure,” you said and chuckled. “Great. Wanna show me around?” “Sure, come on.”

You showed Gabriel around the bunker; the war room, the library, the bedrooms - though not yours - and everywhere else. He was impressed with the place. “You like it here?” he asked. “Yeah, a lot. Come on, I’ll show you the kitchen as well.” You lead him into the kitchen where you made two cups of coffee. “Cream? Sugar? I’m guessing sugar…” you suggested. “You got cubes or granulated?” “Granulated. I like to bake sometimes.” “Five teaspoons then, please. And some cream.” Your eyes widened at the archangel’s request, and you chuckled. “As you wish, Trickster,” you said and poured it in, stirring around and putting the cream in front of him. “Here ya go.” “Thanks, princess.”

You laughed loudly when Gabriel told you a story about how he’d pranked a criminal young man once, and eventually killed him. “That’s brilliant!” you exclaimed and popped another praline in your mouth. “Y’know, these are delicious,” Gabriel said and did the same. “Where’d you get them?” “I made ‘em. Like I said, I bake sometimes.” “Mmh! It’s settled then, I’m never leaving this place!” You laughed at the archangel, and within an hour, the two of you had finished the whole jar. Dean would probably be pissed, but you couldn’t care less. You had all the time in the world to make more, since both the brothers had practically forbidden you from hunting lately. You had screwed up massively on your last hunt due to your lack of proper sleep, so now you only did research until you’d gotten a grip of these nightmares.

After spending the evening with Gabriel, discussing all of life’s mysteries, you yawned and decided to go to bed. Sam, Dean, Cas and Gabriel were all in the bunker, and you didn’t know who was sleeping and who wasn’t. You sighed and tucked yourself in, ready for another terrible night. Surprisingly, you slept through the night without issues, and you thought that maybe, just maybe, the chain was broken now, and that you could recover. But you were wrong. The next night they were back, and somehow even more vivid than before.

“(Y/N), hey,” you heard a voice whisper in your mind. You were still dreaming, the ghoul was still eating your mother’s face, but it all seemed to fade. “Princess,” the voice said, and it was like a golden light appeared in your dream. The light washed the ghoul away, and the last thing you saw before you woke up was your family smiling at you, clean and alive. You gasped and blinked; wide awake you sat up. “Hey princess,” Gabriel said and stroked your bare shoulder.

“Gabriel?” you asked stupidly. “Do you always have nightmares like these?” he asked, and you just nodded and looked at his hand on your skin. “Is that why you don’t hunt nowadays?” You nodded again. “How did you do that? What was that light?” “It was my grace. I heard you screaming, and I wondered if the bros were with you yet, but they were sleeping, and Cas isn’t around, so I came. I saw what was going on inside you and, well… stopped it.” He smiled sympathetically and took his hand off your shoulder, but then you threw your arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around your waist, stroking your back reassuringly. With each passing second, it was as if you and Gabriel grew closer. Neither of you let the other one go, and you were filled with a feeling you’d never felt before, something you couldn’t identify.

Several minutes later, you pulled out of Gabriel’s arms. “Do you want me to stay with you, princess?” “You would do that?” “It’s not like I have anything better to do,” he joked and grinned, making you chuckle slightly. “I’d appreciate that,” you said, and Gabriel helped tuck you in, then laid down next to you. It was strange to lay under your blanket while Gabriel was on top of it, so after a while you urged him to get under it as well, and then you laid your head on his chest. He smiled and wrapped his arms around you, then held you tight until you fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up, and immediately had to close your eyes, because there was a bright, golden light all over, just the same tone as in your nightmare, when Gabriel had “rescued” you. It took you a few seconds to adjust to the light, and then you looked up, and gasped. You found that the light belonged to two large golden wings, and the wings in turn belonged to the archangel who was still lying next to you. He stirred and smiled when he realised you were awake.

“Morning, princess,” he said. “Morning… Gabriel, did you…” “Did I what?” “Did you like… pull out your wings while I was asleep?” you asked and looked him in the eye for the first time since you woke up. Gabriel stared at you. “You can see them?” he asked, obviously shocked. “Y-yeah, I… I couldn’t yesterday, but now…” You trailed off when your eyes turned back to his wings. They were truly gorgeous, albeit the feathers were a little ruffled here and there. “I can’t believe it…” Gabriel muttered, his eyes still wide.  “What? What does it mean, Gabriel?” you pressed, and then he pulled away from you.

He got up and stretched, his wings stretching along with his arms, knocking some of your stuff off your shelf. He watched as your eyes travelled all the way from the tip of his left wing, to the tip of his right. “They’re fantastic…” you whispered. Gabriel, who had been completely shocked, now smiled widely. “It means you’re my mate,” he said softly, making you raise your eyebrows. “Like soulmate? Or the British kind of mate?” you asked. Gabriel just laughed. “No, sugar, not the British kind. Soulmate. Only an angel’s soulmate can see their wings.” “But-but… if I’m your mate, why couldn’t I see them before?” “There has to be a connection between the angel and the human, don’t ask me why, but it does. And I was literally in your head yesterday, and… held you all night… I guess that counts,” he said and grinned. You smiled too and got off the bed, catching up to Gabriel. You stood before him and reached up to cup his cheek.

“What does this mean for us?” you asked quietly. “Well… if you don’t want this, you can walk away,” he said, but when you looked into his eyes it was as if they were screaming ‘stay’. “But if you do… well, it mean we get to be together forever, it means I’ll always protect you, always love you…” he finished.

His eyes filled with anxiety when you didn’t answer for a while, but then you cupped his other cheek too and leaned in to kiss him. You could feel him smile against your lips as he kissed back, wrapping his arms around your waist, and seconds later his wings around your whole body. “I want this,” you whispered when you pulled away. “Good.” Gabriel started walking you backward, back to the bed. “Then bond with me.” “Bond with you?” “Yes,” he said and lowered the two of you onto the mattress, “bond with me, princess.”

Tagging: @lucifer-in-leather @castielspahdehrah @pepperwoodatnight @becaamm @mariairwin666 @sama1314  @fuckyeahfeysand @thewhiterabbit42 <-- you tag ain’t workin’ :(