#and my sister moved to another state to be with her girlfriend and i'm just here.

[tateytots]

the duality of me ig lol

[kenacoki]

A Helping Hand

//Pairing// Eddie Diaz x Reader

//Summary// When (y/n)’s period cramps are bad, their boyfriend Eddie is there to lend a helping hand.

//Word Count// 1.98k

//Warnings// none!

//Request// Reader is on her period and Eddie taking care of her

//Dividers// sister-lucifer

The house is quiet as you sit on Eddie’s couch, a heating pad pressed against your stomach.

“Holy shit…” you groan, your face twisted up in pain.

While you’ve always had relatively bad cramps, these ones are particularly bad. The constant aching pain gnawing at you even as you curl up into a ball on the couch.

“Ughh!” Frustrated, you look down at your slightly bloated form squeeze tightly.

Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening and closing breaks through the silence. As you hear footsteps getting closer to the living room, your (e/c) eyes snap up. You smile at the sight of Eddie's familiar form walking in.

He looks at you, a concerned expression on his face as he notices your curled-up state on the couch.

“Mi amor, you okay?” He asks, moving closer to you.

You look up at him, wincing a little as another cramp hits you. You nod your head slightly, your voice a little strained from the pain.

“Yeah, just...my period cramps. They're pretty bad today.” He looks down at the heating pad on your stomach.

He frowns slightly, his expression softening with concern. He moves over to the couch and sits down next to you, his hand reaching out to lightly touch your shoulder.

“You should've called me. I could've come home early to help out. Bobby wouldn’t have cared.”

You smile weakly, appreciating his concern, “It's fine, Eds. I can handle it. You don't have to come home just for this...” you peer up at him through your lashes, “You got people to save.”

He looks at you for a moment, his gaze searching your face. He can see the discomfort you're in, the small crease in your brow that betrays the pain you're trying to hide.

He sighs, his hand still resting on your shoulder, “It's not a big deal if I come home early for this, you know. I'm allowed to be worried about my girlfriend, even if you’re tough as hell.”

You can't help but smile at his words, your heart skipping a beat at the sound of him calling you his girlfriend. It's a simple thing, but it's so sweet.

“I know, but…” you pause, wincing a little as another cramp hits. “I don't want to be a bother. Usually I can take a few ibuprofen and that helps; you can see how that’s worked out though.”

He looks at you, his expression one of sympathy. He hates seeing you in pain, even if it's just the natural discomfort of your period. He shakes his head, his tone firm but gentle.

“You're not being a bother. I want to be there for you, especially when you're hurting. Besides, there's more I can do than just give you ibuprofen.”

You look at him, a mixture of curiosity and scepticism on your face, “Like…like what?”

He smiles at your question, his hand moving from your shoulder to gently brush a strand of hair out of your face. He sits down on the couch beside you.

“Well, heat is good for cramps…you got the heating pad, so that's a start…but there's other things. Like, uh…” he pauses for a moment, his cheeks turning a light pink as he continues, "Massages. Those can help loosen up the tension.”

You raise an eyebrow at his suggestion, your heart rate picking up a little as you picture him giving you a massage.

The idea is both appealing and embarrassing, the thought of his strong hands touching your body—well, it's not unwelcome, to say the least.

He notices the look on your face, the slight change in your expression that tells him you're both intrigued and a little bit flustered.

He grins, a mischievous light in his eyes, “Don’t look so surprised, I pay attention to you when you rant about this stuff, you know. I-if you want me to, I could give you one.”

You glance at him, a conflicted expression on your face. On one hand, the idea of a massage sounds heavenly right now. The thought of his strong hands working out the knots in your muscles a very appealing one.

On the other hand, you feel a little self-conscious, the thought of him touching you like that when you're feeling bloated and crampy making you more than a little embarrassed.

You chew on your bottom lip for a moment, internally debating what to do.

“You really don’t care…?”

He shakes his head, his smile softening as he looks at you. He can see the uncertainty in your expression, the conflict in your eyes, but he's not going to back down.

“Of course I don't care. I want to take care of you when you're hurting, carñio. And if that means giving you a massage, then that's what I'm going to do.”

Your heart skips a beat at the use of the nickname, the endearment making your chest feel warm and fluttery. You take a deep breath, the mixture of hormones and cramps making you a little more emotional than usual.

“Okay…Okay, fine. You can give me a massage.” You give in, your voice slightly shaky as you mentally brace yourself for what's to come.

He smiles, his expression satisfied as he hears your agreement, “Alright, then. Just lay down on your stomach and get comfortable.”

You nod, shifting your position on the couch to lie down on your stomach. It's not the most comfortable position, but it'll do for the massage. You position the heating pad against your stomach, sighing as the warmth begins to work its magic on your aching muscles.

He moves to kneel beside the couch, his gaze roving over your form as you get comfortable. He can see the tension in your shoulders, the way your back is arched slightly, the muscles strained and taut with discomfort.

Taking a moment to gather his resolve, his thoughts are little jumbled from the sight of you lying before him. Carefully, he reaches out and gently places his hands on your lower back, the touch feather-light at first.

You gasp at the feel of his hands on your skin, the touch sending a shiver down your spine. It’s a strange sensation, the mixture of pain and pleasure as he begins to gently massaging your muscles. He starts at your lower back, his fingers working in slow, gentle circles over the tense muscles.

A soft sigh escapes your lips as he works out a knot in your back, the tightness slowly loosening under his touch.

He looks down at you, watching as you slowly relax under his touch. He can hear the sound of your breathing becoming slower, a little more even, and he smiles faintly as he continues the massage. His hands move up to your shoulders, the touch firmer now as he begins to work out the tension in your upper back.

You let out another sigh as he moves up to your shoulders, the feel of his touch both soothing yet forceful. His fingers are strong and sure, the pressure just enough to loosen the knots in your muscles without hurting you.

The heat from the heating pad combined with his hands is gradually making your muscles relax, the pain from the pulsating cramps slowly fading into the background as he continues.

He continues the massage, his hands moving over your back and shoulders in a rhythmic pattern. He can feel the knots slowly dissipating under his touch, the tension in your muscles melting away like snow in the sun.

He looks down at you, a satisfied smile on his face as he notices the way your body is completely relaxed now, all traces of pain and discomfort erased from your features.

“Feel better?” He asks, his voice a soft rumble in the quiet room.

You nod, “Mhm. Much better. You’re a saint, you know that?” Your voice a bit muffled by the couch cushion. You feel completely boneless now, the combination of the massage and the heating pad having worked wonders on your cramps. You feel so relaxed, like you could just melt into the couch and stay there forever.

He snorts, a small laugh escaping him as he takes you in your blissful state. You look so different now, all soft and boneless and relaxed. He can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction, knowing that he's the one who was able to do that to you.

He gives your back one last gentle pat, his hands lingering on your skin for a moment before he pulls back. He slowly stands up from his position on the couch, stretching his arms a little before looking down at you with a wry smile.

“Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”

You nod, not even opening your eyes as you just mumble out a quiet “kay”.

He watches you for a moment, a small smile on his face at your lazy state; It's a rare sight, seeing you completely relaxed like. He shakes his head faintly before heading out of the room, leaving you alone for a moment.

You lay there, your eyes closed and your mind blissfully empty. The absence of pain combined with the relaxation from the massage has made you feel as though you’re floating on a cloud.

After a few minutes, you hear footsteps returning to the living room, and you hear Eddie speak again, “Alright, time to sit up a little...”

You grumble a little at the sound of his voice, not wanting to move from your comfortable position. But you know you have to sit up for whatever he has planned, so you reluctantly force your limbs to cooperate, shifting your body so you’re sitting upright on the couch.

He sits down next to you, holding a steaming mug of tea in one hand, “Drink this.”

He hands the mug to you and you take it, surprised by the gesture. You look down at the contents of the mug, the rich aroma of chamomile filling your nostrils.

“You made me tea?” You take a small sip of the hot liquid. The tea is warm and soothing going down, the flavor earthy and relaxing on your tongue. You take another mouthful, the heat from the liquid spreading through your body like a soft, comforting blanket.

He nods, watching as you take another sip of the tea. He can see the look of contentment on your face, the way your body is still relaxed from the massage.

He scoots a little closer to you on the couch, slinging one arm around your shoulders and pulling you against him. The action is casual but affectionate, a silent gesture of comfort.

You lean into his side, the closeness making you feel safe and cared for. Slowly, your eyes slip shut as you bask in the feeling of being in his arms, cradled against his chest like a precious treasure.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” You murmur, your voice soft and sleepy.

Eddie smiles, his arm tightening around you in a gentle squeeze. He presses a light kiss to the top of your head, inhaling the scent of your hair.

“Of course, carñio. I'll always take care of you, no matter what…You just relax and enjoy the tea.”

You nod, already half-asleep from the combination of the tea, the massage and the general feeling of exhaustion that comes with your period. You finish the rest of the tea, setting the empty mug on the coffee table in front of you before snuggling further into his embrace.

You can feel yourself drifting off to sleep, the sound of his heartbeat like a soothing lullaby in your ears.

“Mmm….I love you, Eds.”

He hears your sleepy admission, the sound making his heart flutter in his chest. He tightens his arms around you, holding you close as he replies in a hushed voice.

“I love you too, carñio. I love you so much.”

[1for5]

TO ALL THE GIRLS I’VE LOVED BEFORE

paige bueckers x uconn student!reader

with caitlin clark, aubrey griffin, nika muhl, and emily engstler

───────── ⋆⋅🏀⋅⋆ ─────────

CHAPTER 1: Contracts and Parties

prologue ch 2

You know that feeling wherein a name is introduced to you, and you start seeing them all over the place? That is what Y/n is feeling, but it started when the incident with Paige happened. Yes, Paige was everywhere, whether it was on a poster or during school events. However, Y/n kept on seeing her every time you’re at the library, the halls, the cafeteria, and hell even the bar.

On a Wednesday morning, Y/n was free till after lunch. She had a chance to eat outside, especially since the weather was good. Y/n craved Japanese food–particularly Udon, and headed to a Japanese Restaurant. To no surprise, Paige had also just arrived at the restaurant. While waiting for a table, multiple buzzes came from Y/n’s phone.

Emily

Hey, can we talk?

About the letter.

Y/n had no intentions of talking to Emily, as she thought that it would end their friendship and maybe even have her sister dislike her, hence why she is ignoring Emily. When Y/n was signalled to sit down and check the menu, the tall blonde also sat at the seat in front of her. “So.. you going to ignore me or what?” Paige started talking. “We just don’t really talk.” Y/n shrugged, playing with the corner end of the menu. “Why are you seated in front of me?” Y/n added. “I am alone, and you’re alone so..” Paige said and scanned the menu.

It was awkwardly silent after Paige made the comment. “You won’t acknowledge the letter L/n?” Paige cut off the quiet noise. “You are not the only one I wrote a letter to, Bueckers. Don’t act so cocky. I only wrote the letter because you were my first kiss, and it was quite significant to me” Y/n called the waiter and ordered her food.

“So I'm not the only one? And it was all because of that truth or dare kiss? Damn you’re a player” Paige felt shocked. “Well no, that’s not it. I wrote these years ago. Each person at a different time. I wrote four.” Y/n explained, taking a sip of water.

“Four? Care to let me know?” Paige grew curious. “No way!” Y/n protested. “Well you could not tell me and I’ll tell the whole school that you like me..” Paige’s cocky smile grows.

“Excuse me? I am NOT delusional? And plus, no one cares anymore about anyone in college.” You scoffed. The food arrived, and you both thanked the waitress.

“Are you sure? You’re a head school writer too, people know you.” Paige giggled, and took a bite of her food. You rolled your eyes at her, giving a “Don’t test me” look.

“Fine, fine! Okay so of course you’re part of it, then Aubrey Griffin..” you start. “No way! She was my teammate before! But I agree, she is very fine.” Paige laughed.

“Mhm! Moving on.. I also wrote to Caitlin Clark.” You said, starting to get embarrassed. “I see your type. She was our schoolmate for like a year right? But. isn’t she straight?” Paige clarified.

“Oh. I didn’t know and still do not know. She’s very pretty though.” Y/n explained. “Okay next! Er.. Emily Engstler? Do you know her? She’s in the WNBA now.” Y/n continued.

“And another player.. But I know her! I know all things women's basketball. Wait wait.. isn’t she your sister’s girlfriend? Nika?” Paige gasped, and drank from her iced tea with shocked eyes.

“I mean Emily was my best friend, and she was the first person I liked. Didn’t show my feelings though.” Y/n stated. “It feels so damn awkward, and I certainly do not want to talk to Emily about my (then) feelings about her.. so I kinda just.. kissed you? I’m trying to ignore her.” Y/n added. “Damn, that’s crazy L/n. How’d you even become friends with Engstler?” The blonde asked.

“She was my neighbour, and we are 2 years apart, so we kinda related to each other. We were so close, until her and my sister became a thing. They still invited me to their dates but I would always still feel different.” Y/n continued, reminding herself of the friendship she had with Emily.

Paige then got an idea, which Y/n knew was going to be a bad one once she gave you that “I have this crazy idea that I like but you might not like however I want to convince you” look.

“You know that my ex, Mia Clarkson, our school mate even from grade school, fumed when someone told her you kissed me.” Paige started. “Probably. She was my best friend, but our friendship broke after that truth or dare kiss with you.” Y/n shared.

“No way! I never thought that she would have a “history” with you. Anyways, well.. What if we start fake dating? Emily would stop trying to reach you, and Mia would want to get back with me when she sees how I am with another girl!” Paige shared her idea, your head not believing that she just said those words.

“No way. I mean, really?” Y/n wasn’t convinced. “It would be great. When Mia sees us, she would come back to me in no time, especially with your history with her. And if Emily checks her social media apps, then she would see that we are in a relationship, which would give you that boundary.” Paige explained further.

Y/n thought for a while. This could either go so fast or so slow. She thought hard, and weighed the pros and cons. People may hate her, however, she could stay away from Emily for a while till she knows how to approach her. And this could give her new experiences too.

“Fine, deal. But we have to make a contract though.”

“Contract? What would we need a contract for?” Paige asked. “This will be my “first” relationship, and we need boundaries. I do not want my first relationship to have all of its firsts being fakes.” Y/n explained. “I get you. What do you want to put in the contract?” Paige got a paper from her oh so big gym bag. “You probably have your whole life in that bag! Anyways, first rule. I do not like kissing.” Y/n starts.

“How can we show affection then?” Paige followed up. “You can hug me. Oh! You can put your hands in my back pocket.” Y/n smiled. “What are you, an 80s kid?” Paige snickered. “Leave me alone, it's romantic!” Y/n defended herself. “Whatever. Okay next rule. You have to come to my games, and I can come to any programs you would want to bring me to.” Paige wrote on the paper.

“Okay. We would also have to post each other on social media. Not always, but at least make our relationship known.” Y/n took the paper from Paige and wrote the rule. “Deal. Oh! I will give you simple notes, Mia always asked me to give her, but I never did. She’ll go crazy if she sees me give you notes.” Paige said. “And.. You will have to come with me on the annual UCONN ski trip.” Paige added.

The UCONN ski trip? That’s like a day of easy room access for intimacy. Those who did not lose their virginities during high school lost their virginities during the ski trip. Y/n thought. “That’s three whole months from now! Would we even still be doing this by then?” Y/n questioned. “All couples go on the trip. We can just apply this rule if we are still doing this in three months' time.” Paige stated.

“Okay. Fine.” Y/n playfully rolled her eyes at Paige. “We almost forgot the most important rule. We can’t tell anyone, I mean anyone, about this agreement. It would shatter us both.” Y/n took the paper from Paige and wrote the rule with a big font.

“Deal.”

-

A week has gone by, and the “couple” has two events that they would have to go through: (1) UCONN party held by the women’s basketball team, and (2) a basketball practice game of the women’s team against the men’s. The party is on a Wednesday, as it is the last day of Midterms. The practice game is on a Friday. The game in fact is an annual “event” that many people look forward to, especially those who are fans of both the women’s and men’s team.

It is Wednesday afternoon, and Y/n is preparing for the party. She wore a UCONN t-shirt given by Paige, and simple jeans. Y/n was not sure if she should feel excited or nervous, as it will be the first time she and Paige will be seen together.

While putting on make up, Y/n got a text from Paige, saying that she is near. Paige is automatically the designated driver of the relationship, as Y/n has not earned a license yet. After minutes, she heard a car honk, which stated that Paige was there. She got her bag and headed out to meet Paige in the car.

“Hey, you ready for the party?” Paige asked once Y/n was able to settle down at the front seat of the car. “Yeah.” Y/n nervously smiled.

-

Arriving at the house where the party is, before opening the door, Y/n was tying her hair up, however, Paige quickly got the hair tie not letting Y/n put up her hair. “I prefer your hair down, and I will keep this scrunchie of yours” Paige placed her hand in the scrunchie. Y/n scoffed, “You better not lose it.” she said firmly, as it was her favourite tie, given to her by her sister Nika.

Paige nodded, and got her phone out. She opened her camera and asked Y/n to pose for her. Y/n placed her hands on her cheeks, and the camera took a shot. Paige smiled and made it her wallpaper. “Mmm. Smart. Let me take a picture of you too.” Y/n laughed while Paige was giving her poses for the wallpaper.

After the wallpapers had been set, they went on and headed inside the house. The whole UCONN women’s basketball team was there and approached Paige. “Paige! Thought you wouldn’t come! Oh! Who’s this pretty girl?” KK Arnold was the first to approach Y/n, the rest following and stating their hi(s) and hello(s). “Guys, I want you all to meet my girlfriend.” Paige announced loudly enough for the whole house to hear.

“No way! You bagged her?” Azzi jokes, which made Y/n laugh. “You are so so pretty!” Ice complimented Y/n. After a while, Y/n slowly got the hang of being the “center of attention.” The UCONN team made her feel like home, giving her stories about Paige and making funny jokes.

“Okay, enough of us talking. What made you like Paige?” Q asked Y/n. Y/n, however, did not know how to answer that, only knowing the person for only a week. “Well, she has this side of hers that she only showed me. Paige is really hard working, compassionate, funny, and a whole lot more.” Y/n did not completely lie. She and Paige had an agreement only they knew, and referring to the posters and sports posts, she knew Paige had an excellent personality especially on the court.

Paige smiled when Y/n was speaking, however, her eye saw the figure of Mia Clarkson, who signalled her to follow her to the bathroom.

“What do you need?” Paige asked Mia, closing the bathroom door. “Why are you with her?” Mia asked, clearly showing that she was jealous and mad. “That is none of your business” Paige said firmly, looking at herself in front of the mirror.

“Oh what’s this?” Mia then acknowledged the scrunchie being worn by Paige, and got it out of her hand. Mia then fixed her hair, and asked Paige if she “looked good tonight.” “You always look good.” The blonde slightly smiled. Mia smirked, and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Paige alone.

Paige did not know why she did not make a move, it was clear that Mia was already showing signs of interest again. She didn’t feel the “spark” she was hoping to feel, maybe it was just that it’s too early into the agreement, and Paige always reaches for that sense of accomplishment, which she wouldn’t have felt if she already made a move on Mia.

The blonde just shrugged it off, and headed back to her team and Y/n.

[yoyomomiko]

Do that again I8+

REQUEST: « I need some smut with shousuke, i'm dying to see one. I search it everywhere but i can't find it. I hate ai to make me like this😭 »

Pairing: Shousuke x F!reader (aged up)

Summary: You and Shousuke have known each other for some time, mostly because of his sister, but also because you used to be classmates back in highschool. One day, while you're over at their house, something explicit happens.

Warnings: AGED UP (Both reader and Shousuke are 18-19)!! SMUTTY!! IT'S CRINGE I'M SORRY IT'S JUST SO AKAWARD😭Najimii uses He/Him but also She/Her in this fic, because Najimii is Najimii; Curse words; making out; F★I★N★G★E★R★I★N★G!!; Pretty much just F!reader recieving (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

(A/N): Okay, so this was a request that was in the comments!! And this is my first smutty fic ever, so i'm a bit embarassed to do it, i didn't know it would actually be that hard to make one😭 BUT i'll start it slowly, and maybe in the up coming future i won't be that embarassed and i'll actually write a whole smut fic, SORRY LIKE ACTUALLY I'M SO SORRY TO WHOEVER REQUESTED THIS!😭🙏 BTW IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE MADE ANOTHER FIC - (i'm back😍💋)

You were over at Komi-san's house yet again, walking into her room. She (Tadano) called you and Najimii over to her house.

“Komi-san, i'm here-" You tried to greet her as you walked inside her room, only to be met by Najimii throwing himself on you, resulting in you falling onto the floor.

“Get off!” You yelled out as Najimii got up.

“Why did you even do that?” You slowly stood up, rubbing your head. He only shrugged as he smiled like the dumbass he was.

Komi was pretty embarassed herself at what happened, and she was sulking on her bed.

“Oh, by the way Komi, where's your brother?” You asked, tilting your head to the side slightly.

“Ooooo! Why do you wanna know, you like him or something?” Najimii teased you, your cheeks flushing a crimson red.

“What? No way!”

“Come on! You're an adult now, aren't you? You still don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet!”

“How do you know that?! It's none of your business!” You stated in a panicked tone, hands on your blushing cheeks.

Before the bickering continued, Komi showed you her notebook, wich said "He's in his room".

“Ah, i see... Then i'll go by and greet him. I'll be back soon!”

Najimii gave you a knowing look, as Komi just nodded.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

You wandered around the house, and then finally arrived in front of Shousuke's door.

You were about to walk in, but before you could, the door opened and you bumped into Shousuke.

“Sorry! I just came by to greet you!” You told your friend, and he only nodded in response. Quiet as usual.

He suddenly pulled you inside his room, closing the door behind you. You also closed your eyes as soon as Shousuke pulled you inside.

You felt your back touch the door, and you finally opened your eyes to see Shousuke right in front of you, leaning in, a bit too close.

“Is something wrong...?” You asked as you felt your cheeks heat up a bit.

Shousuke shook his head 'no' as he leaned in closer, noses almost touching. You felt too embarassed to say anything, your heart beat increasing.

All of the sudden, his lips were lightly and barely touching yours. Your cheeks were crimson red now, heart beating so fast you thought Shousuke could hear it.

He wasn't kissing you yet, he just waited there. You looked at his face, only to see that he was blushing just as hard, lost in his ownt thoughts.

“You can kiss me.” You blurted out, gaining confidence.

Shousuke flinched at your words, but he leaned in, finally closing the distance between the two of you.

After a few seconds, he pulled away, looking into your eyes.

“Do that again...” You demanded in a breathy voice, gaze fixated on his eyes.

He instantly pulled you into another kiss, listening to your request and obliging happily.

You never thought that Shousuke would be the one to make the first move, but it seems that you were wrong.

His lips felt so angelic, his touch delicate. He pulled you into an embrace as he held you soflty. He pulled away for a moment, gazing into your eyes.

You loved him ever since high school, but you've never gathered up the courage to admit it. And now, there you were, kissing oh so sweetly.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

What led to this moment? You can't remember.

A few minutes ago, you were sweetly hugging, gentle kisses here and there, but now... Things escalated.

You were having a full on make out session right now.

Shousuke was pushing his hips into yours, licking your lips, tongues interwinings as he held your hands togheter, both of you on his bed.

He was on top of you, slamming his lips into yours hungrily. You were gasping for air at this point, while he silently whimpered at the friction.

Both of your tongues were dancing togheter, you felt spit form at the corners of your mouth.

Shousuke searched any type of touch, his hips slowly dragging on yours as he pulled away from your lips.

You were about to complain, but before you could, Shousuke started leaving love bites on your neck. You yelped and flinched slightly, but you surely didn't mind it at all, pulling him into your neck by his hair, pushing his head deeper, so that you can feel his lips on your skin as much as possible.

He started to leave more and more hickeys, sucking on your most sensitive spots, earning whimpers from you. He bit a certain spot that made you see stars in front of you.

Shousuke kissed, bit, and sucked on your skin, before he licked all the marks he left and pulled away once again.

“Shousuke...” You called out trying to pull him back in. You knew you were being desperate, but who cares? It's not like Shousuke would mind that, not one bit!

You were slightly upset that he pulled away, but before you could say anything else, his hands trailed down to the hem of your shirt, looking at you as if asking for permission.

You quickly nodded, giving him consent, as he slowly pulled your shirt up, looking at your chest. You still had your bra on, but Shousuke didn't seem to mind. He blushed a bit harder as he looked away in embarassment, before helping you pull your shirt off completely.

He got on top of you again, his hand slipped down into your pants, your cheeks a tinted pink while you stared at Shousuke, lost in a daze.

You felt his fingers briefly graze your folds, and you immediately let out a gasp. Shousuke gazed into your eyes surprised, unsure and clearly very hesitant with his actions.

You nodded at him, and he got the signal. You were already wet, before he even touched you.

His fingers prodded at your entrance, but instead of going further, his pointer finger pressed down on your clit.

You shook your legs a bit, but went past it. Shousuke started to make a circling motion on your bud, earning sweet moans from you.

He gathered up your slick and went down to your entrance, slowly pushing two of his fingers inside of you.

You moaned, feeling the way his long and thin fingers stretched you just the way you wanted. Your walls clenched around his two fingers as you spread your legs further, giving him more space.

Shousuke started a slow pace on fingering you, getting you used to it, before he started a faster motion. He pressed the tip of his fingers on your g-spot. You felt your breath hitch at the back of your throat, heart beat increasing.

You started moaning as Shousuke's fingers moved faster inside of you, getting you closer to your high.

He started pushing his fingers up to his knuckles, crossing them over for extra pleasure. He plunged them faster and faster, as you felt like you were on cloud nine.

You were so, so close, and just as soon as it came up, it got back down.

Shousuke pulled his fingers out of you, tapping your lips with them and forcing your mouth open, before shoving his fingers in at the back of your throat, earning a choke from you.

“'Suke... Don't do that...” You felt like yelling at him for ripping you away from such a perfect relief!

The quiet boy only nodded, as he slowly got up from his place.

“Hm? Where are you going?” You asked in genuine curiosity.

Shousuke stared at you and started walking towards the door, ignoring you. He was making this so akaward...

“Wait- let me return the favour at least!” You quickly spoke up, wanting to pleasure him as well (definetly not to edge him as well).

Shousuke stopped at the door, his hand that was reaching for the door handle now frozen in the air. He seemed to think about it, but he shrugged it off and left the room as If nothing happened at all.

What a complete jerk...

He did all of that, just to leave and ignore you completely? The audacity!

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

What you didn't know, was that Shousuke left for the bathroom. What you also didn't know, was that he was looking at himself in the mirror, face flushed red and a hand over his mouth. His eyes wide and eyebrows furrowing togheter.

He couldn't believe what he did. He's such a dumbass for leaving! He should've stayed, but he couldn't handle all the embarassment! What if you regreted it later? He couldn't do it!

What he could do, is jerk himself off every single night to the thought of you. Your pretty face, so close to reaching your high, was now imprinted into his mind.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

“Hey guys!” You walked inside Komi-san's room, glancing towards the others.

“What took you so long?!” Najimi threw herself at you, resulting in the both of you falling down to the floor.

“Najimi!” You yelled at her as you pushed her off, sighing to yourself.

“No, seriously! What took you so long to say a simple hi?! It's been almost 20 minutes! If not, even more!” She argued and whined as she got off of you.

“Did you kiss him?~” She got close to your face and teased you. Does she not know what personal space is...?!

No, dummy, he shoved his fingers up my-

“Ew! Gross, i didn't kiss him!” You quickly protested and forced yourself to your feet.

“Fine, whatever you say. Let's play some video games!” Najimi smiled brightly and jumped on Komi-san's bed.

Najimi noticed something, as she started observing you.

You sat next to Tadano, trying to forget what happened earlier.

But you just couldn't...

Najimi leaned into you.

“Oh, by the way, what are those on your neck?”

[pixiesfz]

more jessie pls bby 🙏

in honour of more jflem news lets write some ANGST AHAHAHA

moving on j.f

plot: Jessie tells you she's leaving chelsea

warning angst

You could tell something was wrong with Jessie. She was spending more time on the phone which you assumed was her family as they missed her from the Christmas break but usually they would also ask to talk to you so when you texted her sister she said that they've only been texting.

You were getting slightly worried as your girlfriend wasn't telling you who was on the phone.

You were all at training, you were partnered with Niamh as you kicked the ball to each other. "You know how my last relationship went Niamh" you groaned and the English girl nodded "Jessie is not the type to cheat, she is so in love with you it's gross"

"Then why isn't she telling me who she's on the phone with 24/7?" you complained and the girl shrugged "Do you know what they talk about?" she asked and you shook your head "She always moves to another room in the house whenever they call" you explained.

Niamh furrowed her eyebrows "Have you ever thought that it could be her agent?" she asked softly as her eyes turned to Jessie who was talking to Emma on the sidelines.

"I- I don't know" you admitted as your heart started to beat faster "she would tell me if she wanted to move" you paused "wouldn't she?"

Niamh looked down at her feet "I mean she doesn't play as much as she used to" she said and your breaths felt quicker "but she would still tell me I mean I'm her girlfriend"

Niamh looked back at you, noticing your nerves, and walked to you, placing her hand on your shoulder "Hey we could be reading this wrong" she told you "she could just be calling her Canadian team mates" she tried to reassure you.

You both watched as Jessie excused herself from her and Emma's conversation to pick up her phone that had started ringing.

"Yeah because she can get out of training to call her teammates" you scoffed.

You were quick to get out of training, waiting at Jessie's car with your arms crossed and foot tapping whilst you thought.

You would be fine if she left Chelsea for more gametime, well maybe not Arsenal but it's what she deserved.

She had friends at Liverpool from UCLA they would look after her there.

but still... why didn't she tell you.

Jessie finally made her way to the car with a smile, her hair out and brushed back which usually you would run your hands through immediately.

"hey" she smiled, kissing your cheek before headig to the drivers seat, you froze as she sat down.

Was she this calm about keeping a secret from you.

You bit your tongue on the way home as the car filled with uncomfortable silence. It wasn't until Jessie parked when your short fuse had exploded.

"Are you leaving Chelsea?" you whispered as Jessie went to open the door, she stopped moving whilst you asked the question, leaning back into her seat with a sigh.

"I-I" she stuttered "You can just say yes Jess," you told her "People have been offering for me" she admits "Explains all the phone calls" You deadpanned.

"I wanted to tell you" she said softly and you scoffed "when?, when you played your first game there, I don't mind that your leaving to another club, it won't affect our relationship we're still going to be here and-"

"It's the Portland Thorns" Jessie cut you off.

Your head spun to your girlfriend "oh" was all you said.

Portland Thorns.... in the NWSL....in America....four hours away from you.

"How much?" you asked "what?" Jessie said "How much are they paying you?" you asked, your voice hard

"250,000 dollars" she whispered, her hands lifting up to grip the steering wheel harder.

You scoffed at the information "that's really good Jess" you whispered and the brunette nodded "I said no" she revealed and you furrowed your brows "why?" you asked

"I saw you at training with Niamh and-"

"This is because of me?" you asked, shocked at her words "I don't want to leave you y/n" she stated and you crossed your head "Jessie, this is an amazing opportunity for you and not to put it lightly you're not getting the time you deserve"

"If I work harder then-" "No Jessie you know that's not how Emma works" you cut the girl off as uncomfortable silence grew again in the car.

If it was for her career she had to do it, you loved her that much.

"You need to go and play there," you told her and she sat still "I love you y/n, I don't want to lose you, long-distance never lasts and we don't know how long I'll be there for if I go," she said.

You didn't say anything, you just got up and made your way into the house.

Her dream was to become a world wide name in soccer.

You were holding her back.

Jessie came in not too long after you, her hands in her hair "Do you want me to go?" she asked and you looked down, not answering her "I love you so much y/n I'll stay if you love me too, please be honest"

You wanted her to stay.

You wanted her to to be in your bed every night, cuddling you.

You sat still, preparing yourself to look into her eyes which you knew had tears pouring from them.

When you looked up your heart dropped.

"I don't" you whispered "I honestly don't love you enough Jessie," you said sternly as the girl looked away, as she did you wiped the tear that had fallen under one of your eyes.

"okay," she muttered, "I guess I'll go then".

Months later you sat next to Sam as she and Kristie invited you over for dinner and a movie.

"I never asked this but" Sam started "Jessie told me what happened and how you guys broke up" "Sam!" Kristie warned and you sighed "it's fine" you told her.

"I just told her what she needed to hear but I wasn't being honest with her".

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not giving my girlfriend enough attention?

This will be long, there's a lot to put and I don't want to miss anything, sorry if anythiny isn't important, just trying not to miss anything. I want to start this off by saying it's been many years since this happened, I'm past this whole thing, but curious as to what others think because I've gotten mixed answers. After reading the reactions to the jar of pickles story, I have a feeling I'm going to get a lot of ESH and I understand lol.

I (15f at the time) was in my first relationship with a girl I'll call Elle (16f at the time). Now I had a really bad childhood, this is important to the story because I spent most of my life in foster homes and it definitely affected our relationship. This all happened right after I moved to a new state (so long distance relationship). Elle and I never really had any big issues in our relationship before this (besides the one time I was "kidnapped" and I'll get into that later). We ended up staying together for 2 years. We talked daily and very often, before school and after school, sometimes during school. All this to say we had a very good relationship (Extra: I was 13 to 15 during this relationship, she was 14 to 16 during it)

With all that out of the way, here's the story. I had met Elle right after I was moved back in with my biological mother, my mother was not in a good place at all, she moved us to a new state to start over, I met Elle because of this move. We stayed for a while before my mother got back into bad habits and moved us to another state. My communication with Elle dropped around 2 months after this move. My mother fell back into bad habits again and it caught up to her. I was removed from her care and placed in another foster home, they took my phone and I didn't have a way to contact Elle for those 2 months. Elle knew about this, I warned her when my mother ran away and when the cops showed up that I wasn't sure what was happening but I might not be in contact.

After those two months, I got a phone from my foster family and was able to talk to Elle again. We went back to talking daily for another year before the communication dipped a bit. I once again had warned her that this might happen as I was moved to another home with stricter rules. I fought to get back in contact with her again, it only took a month this time. A few months later, I was going through the process of being adopted, if you've ever been adopted, you know how much there is to do and how stressful it is. I could've pushed through and just talked to her daily but I was 15 and I was stressed and needed time, so I told her I'd be offline for a bit again. I had lost my sister, mother, and home less than a year before this and I was not ready to be adopted. (You don't have to agree with my choice, I don't know if it was the right or wrong one but it was what I picked to do)

I was offline for a month, when I came back we talked like normal. Everything was fine for a week, then she told me she felt like I was neglecting her. I would take months offline and refused to give her attention and she couldn't vent about it to anyone because she wasn't ready to tell her family about us and our friends all thought she wasn't being understanding enough. I tried to explain that I was in a bad spot and anytime I wasn't giving her attention was not my fault (I shouldn't have phrased it like that when talking to her but again I was 15). Most of them had been due to me having no way to contact her, once was me needing time to myself because of everything going on in my life, and once was because I had been "kidnapped" by a family member and wasn't allowed to be online (which she was upset with me for because she couldn't understand how family can kidnap you or how I couldn't just take their phone and contact her). I don't blame her for not wanting to be in a relationship like this, it was only her second relationship and it definitely wasn't the type of relationship any 16 year old wants. However, she blamed me for not giving her attention when she needed it and blamed me for not finding other ways to contact her. She then dumped me for being a bad girlfriend. I did later vent to many of our friends about her blaming me for what I couldn't control. So, Tumblr, aita for not giving my girlfriend enough attention?

(Please don't bash either of us too much in the comments, we were dumb kids in our first and second relationship and I'm sure we've both grown up a lot since this. I don't blame her for being upset, I wish things had gone differently. I've aged out of the system now, I'm an adult and in a healthy 4 year long relationship.)

TL;DR I wasn't able to give my (15f at the time) girlfriend (16f at the time) enough attention because I was moving states and homes due to foster care and had a month to two months every now and then that I couldn't contact her, she felt neglected in the relationship and broke up with me. Aita?

[anexperimentallife]

Help a disabled, neurodivergent, interracial family get back to the US for medical treatment

After three bouts of COVID and other medical issues over the past six years here in the Philippines, my health has deteriorated to the point at which I'm worried I won't get to watch my little girl grow up unless I can get back to where I can use my Medicare and VA benefits for various surgeries and treatments.

Unfortunately, even with all y'all's help, @thesurestthing and I are still in debt from the two-year ordeal of fixing our daughter's stateless status, so we can't do this on our own. My little sister started a fundraiser for us, and there are a couple of other ways to help, as well. If you can't help, please reblog. Thank you! (The PayPal link takes the lowest fees, but whatever works for you is best!)

If you want more details, they're under the cut:

Six years ago, while still grieving the deaths of my adult sons and a painful breakup, I moved from the US to the Philippines with just what I could carry, in large part because it's actually possible to survive here on the pittance US disability pays. I had kind of given up on life and figured I would sort of drift off eventually. I wasn't going to kick my own bucket, mind you; I just wasn't going to try very hard to keep living. And I figured I'd just pass away someplace beautiful.

Soon after I got here, though, @thesurestthing (also American) started messaging me from the states, told me she was going to come to the Philippines and be my girlfriend (even though I told her no at first), and eventually joined me here. We had a baby under lockdown, and got married.

So now I had something to live for. (And most of y'all know the drama with the error on El's birth certificate that left her stateless and took almost two years and a lot of money to get fixed.)

But I have had health scare after health scare over the past few years, including three bouts of COVID (some of you remember the month I spent hooked up to an oxygen machine), two bouts of pneumonia, a persistent two-year foot infection that took surgery to clear up (and is going to require another surgery to keep cleared up), damage to my heart and scarring in my lungs from long covid, a literal hole in my throat that is growing bigger, a spine injury, joint injuries, osteo and rheumatoid arthritis, a traumatic brain injury that affects my memory and concentration, adhd, bipolar disorder, autism, and other issues.

(Not even getting into the dental stuff--Hope to be able to get that done before we go back, here where it's cheaper, because Medicare doesn't cover that.)

I'm terrified that I won't be alive to watch my little girl grow up unless I can get someplace where I can use my Medicare and VA health benefits.

An old friend of mine is a social worker and on the school board in a small Minnesota city with its own VA clinic, and has offered to help us get settled in there, but we still have to find a place to live (suitable for a couple that includes a physically disabled adult, and who have a toddler), some basic household goods, some cheap used transportation, and need to survive for a couple of months while Zoey looks for work.

Given our situation in general and the fact that right now my disability is our only income, we're probably looking at having to pay at least six months (or possibly an entire year) of rent up front in order to get anyplace to lease to us.

We can't stay with friends because every single stateside friend we have with a spare room also has a cat--and I have an anaphylactic allergic reaction to cats, meaning that I will literally die if I'm around a cat for too long. I've had to go to the ER because I slept in a room that had a blanket in the corner that a cat had momentarily lain on. The only way I can be around cats is if I'm on massive doses of immunosuppressive drugs, which, well... The whole issue here is that I keep getting deathly ill, so suppressing my immune system even more is a non-starter. Oh, and Fel D 1, the protein secreted in cat dander, saliva, and waste, can stay even on hard surface for up to two years, and even longer on porous surfaces.

Again, if we weren't still in so much debt from El's birth certificate debacle, we might be able to do this at least mostly on our own. But as things stand, we can't do it on our own. We need your help.

If you read all of this, thank you very much. And again, if you can't give, please reblog.

For more medical details, check my Rob Gets Medical tag. For more details about Eleanor's birth certificate saga, check my Baby El tag.

[queer-advice-hotline]

Hello! Soooo long story incoming...

CW For homophobia and religion

So, for context, I am a 20 y.o autistic lesbian living in a small conservative and religious town, and I live with my parents and my teenage sister. My mom is very religious and homophobic. The type of homophobe to say that they would never hurt a gay person, but still thinks being gay is unnatural. She already knows I'm gay, but refuses to accept it. My dad just doesn't give a fuck about either helping me or being against me, so he is just very neutral.

Recently I was planning on leaving my home town to study on college, maybe in another state or at least in the capital city in my state. Partly because I want more oportunities but also because I want to leave my home, have my own space, and a little bit of privacy, without my mom's watchful eye judging me all the time. I didn't tell my parents about that last part tho, I just told them I wanted to go to college to certain places and they were trying to support me.

But my mom started to catch up to my plan and asked me if I just wanted to leave the town, and I was honest and I said yes. She asked me if it was because of my sexuality and I also said yes. She started to try to convince me that bad people from the internet made me go to the "wrong path" and that I just had to meet the right man. I was already so tired because we had these types of conversations for a 100 times already. I barely even argued with her because I didn't know what to say anymore.

The she started to cry, saying that she was suffering too much, how she probably did something wrong and this was all a punishment from God. When she started to realized I did not want to change and give a chance to men, no matter how much she tried to convince me, she started crying really hard and left. It was almost as if I died. Apparently not marrying a man and not wanting to have kids is that devastating to my mom to the point where I am basically dead for her. I feel guilty and horrible. I feel like I'm a mistake.

I just locked myself in the bathroom and cried. I had no idea what to do. I only have my girlfriend who lives in another state (who is trying to help me as much as she can, dispite not being able to do much outside of giving emotional support), only a single friend from high school and a few mutuals.

My mom will definitely not let me go to college somewhere else after this, or at least she won't help me financially. I am basically alone and also broke. I don't know how much longer I will be able to live in this house without becoming completely insane, so I still wanted to leave, but I am not sure if it's a good idea.

I am not sure what options I have... I would like to get help from more experienced queer people on that matter.

(Also, for more context, I don't live in the US, so I need general advice that doesn't apply only to people from the US)

If you’re comfortable lying, you can always try and go back on what you said, just so she will financially help you to move out.

I’m not sure what the options are in your country, but you could look into scholarships and other forms of financial aid from the university you want to go to. They may offer assistance with housing and payment so you can still go. You can also look into other universities that may offer that sort of thing.

You can see if any friends of yours are willing or able to help in any way. If you can stay with them temporarily while you find work to support yourself, that could at least get you out of the house.

[disneyanddisneyships]

@gyubby99 I couldn't help it

Warnings: mentions of r*pe, abuse (physical and mental), strict mother,, panic attacks

Summary: alastir what's t. Know more about his wonderful girlfriend.

Alastor gasped as he was brought back to the present, his Lilly baking something in the kitchen.

He couldn't believe what he saw... it... it was horrifying.... the image of his beloved getting violated like that..... no wonder she had killed herself.....

Through Alastor's own panic, he decided he wanted to see more of her past. She was still a puzzle to him, and he would put the pieces together.

Chanting the spell again alastor was hurdled through time into the same apartment he had seen last time. Only this time it looked.. cleaner.. newer.. more like a home somehow.

And then he heard screaming.

He followed the sound into the bedroom like last time, scared of what was happening, only to be confronted with a sight that actually made him proud.

"You need to pay your half of the bills Jason! This is bullshit! You have a job!" Lilly shouted as she held a paper in her hands.

"Oh my god.... fucking christ, Lillian, so do you! Don't be such a bitch! You have money saved up too!" Jason argued.

"FOR COLLEGE! I wanna go to college! You know that Jason!" Lilly screamed.

"College?! Seriously?! You're so SELFISH!" Jason shouted.

Alastor growled before looking at the spell, performing it again.

And just like that he was hurdled deeper through time.

He was stopped inside of a little house. Maybe a two bedroom.

He walked throughout only to stop when the front door opened and a young Lilly walked inside.

"Dad? I'm home!" She called out as she took the key out of the lock and plopped it into the glass key holder by the door.

"Hey sweet pea!" A grown man's voice came from the kitchen. "How was school?" He asked as he walked up to his daughter.

Alastor chuckled to himself. They looked alike. They were definitely related.

"There was a caterpillar on the tree in the courtyard that Mal and I found, but Jessica Jacobs came in and killed it," Lilly stated as she set up her schoolwork on the dining table.

"Wasn't she that mean little girl who would always push you off the swings?" Her dad asked as he sat next her his daughter.

"Yep.... where's Mom?" She asked as she got to her homework.

"Picking up your brother.... she saw your grades today," he muttered.

Lilly paused.

"Oh," She stated.

"You gotta get that C up...." He replied.

".... the assignment that's causing it is a one and done deal.. I physically can't, dad..... I can't redo the assignment......" Lilly muttered.

Alastor raised an eyebrow before coming to sit next to Lilly.

"Why on earth would a C matter for anything?" Alastor asked himself.

His head turned sharply to the front door when he heard it slam open.

"Hey Gabe," Lilly muttered as her brother walked in and sat in another chair, not making eye contact before leaning in to whisper to his sister.

"Shes pissed..... the whole drive was just her talking about it...." He whispered.

Lilly sighed and gave her brother some headphones so he could drown it out.

"Sorry for borrowing them," she whispered.

Alastor smiled. She did really have a wonderful relationship with her brother.... but his smile faded a bit when Lilly's mother came into view.

"A 'C'?! ARE YOU SERIOUS LILLIAN?!" She shouted.

Lilly shrunk in on herself, her hair covering her face.

"Oh don't you shut me out, you little shit-" Deborah scolded as she walked over and yanked Lilly up by her shoulders.

Charles, Lilly's dad, Stood up, as did alastor, alarm growing on his face.

"Deborah, stop this," Charles warned.

Completely ignoring her husband, Deborah shook her daughter by the shoulders.

"STUPID GIRL. I TAUGHT YOU BETTER. YOU ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO THIS FAMILY!" She shouted.

Alastor moved to stop what was happening with no use.

"Mami please.... You're hurting me... Lo siento... por favor. estas hiriendome," Lilly whispered as tears pricked at her eyes.

Deborah scoffed and shoved her back into the chair.

"Your Spanish is weak, my little butterfly. Work on that too.... you should be more like your brother," Deborah stated before briskly walking away into her room.

".... I'll have a talk with your mother, bug.... everything is gonna be fine. Just do your best, okay?" Charles spoke gently, kissing Lilly on the head before walking away.

Alastor sat back down, silence covering the air as Lilly continued to zone out.

He knew this well... it was a silent panic attack... she still had those.. often when she thought about her mother... now he knew why....

That's when he heard Gabriel speak up.

"... you okay?" He asked.

Lilly didn't move.

Gabriel sighed and moved so his chair was right next to her, bringing her into a hug gently.

"Mom just..... doesn't know how to parent. Duh." He tried making a joke to no avail. "... you wanna call Mal?" He asked.

"No.... She'd just get angry at mom... and I really don't want anymore yelling today....." Lilly muttered.

Alastor took a breath in... so that's why she doesn't like yelling. And that's why she shuts down when being yelled at....

"Does Mal even know that mom does that?" Gabe asked as he separated from the hug.

".. fuck no.... I tell her mom yells but... that's it," Lilly replied.

Gabriel sighed.

Alastor raised an eyebrow.

Before he could see anything else, the spell ended and he was trusted back to his original time.

"Oh, hey Al! I made Brazo Gitano if you want some. It's my Mom's special recipe," Aponi stated as she set them on the counter.

".. your mother?" Alastor asked.

"Yeah.. I um... I invited her over for dinner..." Aponi stated with a nervous smile.

Uh oh

[lvlypink]

God DOES answer prayers

This is just my telling of how God has answered a prayer of mine within a couple of days, and it's brought me equal amounts of pain and understanding

!! tw: mention of sa and pedo !!

I was a member of a Presbyterian church for many years, basically since I was 4 until my 16 years, give or take. When I was about 12-13, our minister moved towns and we welcomed a new pastoral family: the minister A and his wife, two children, plus his wife's sister and husband, and their two sons.

The family as a whole seemed incredible. All very charismatic, very fun, seemingly very kind and the church as a whole ADORED the new minister.

Well, I adored him too until his 18/19 yo nephew started getting a bit too close for comfort to me, at 13. I don't need to say what happened.

The entire church turned a blind eye and some even openly supported our "relationship", and after over a year, we broke up (his family made me break up with him bc I was "manipulating" him and I was "bad for his mental health". His aunt BLACKMAILED me. I was literally not a high schooler yet.)

After I got out of church, living in the real world opened my eyes to the fact that I'd been a victim of abuse. I wasn't a willing girlfriend to him. I was a young girl who legally couldn't give consent to anything. I was shocked, and disgusted that no one in the church had ever brought it up as a problem. I thought it was normal.

So I completely cut them off. Everyone, the entire church. I never attended a single event after I turned 16, and many times I wondered: did I sin? Is God disappointed in me? Should I still go to church so God will love me, after all of this? But I couldn't. I never came back.

It's been over 4 years since. In my journey to reconnect with Christ, I prayed that he make things clearer to me in how to keep living as His child while surrounded by trauma, and congregations that made me feel judged, and hated. He answered me by telling me something through my mother, who used to be a VERY active member of the church: the congregation is basically a dumpster fire rn bc minister A has assaulted a woman, divorced, mother of 3, who I'll call C.

C is a lovely person. She's full of life, funny, positive, compassionate, and has been an incredible friend to my mother for years. When she accused A of SAying her, she thought she'd find support in the church. After all, she is a victim.

But to no one's surprise, the minister denied it. Again. And again. And again. And kept going. C's brother sided with him. The entire fucking church started whispering behind her back, and when A's wife caught wind of it, she went around town LITERALLY telling the church members to stay away from C. "She's a whore! She's a prostitute who's seduced my husband, the minister! Don't let your children near her daughter!", stuff of the sort.

C eventually did go to the council and the state president of the Presbyterian church and was DISMISSED out of "lack of evidence".

As of today, she and her parents have left the church after a lot, and I mean a lot of harassing from the Minister's family, and the church members. It's an infuriating situation. My mom's heartbroken for her friend, and I'm mostly angry that the dipshit of a minister will probably never face justice. Just like this nephew never did.

But in telling me that, my mother's revealed to me that I had a good reason for leaving, and it's okay that I don't feel safe in churches anymore. I was never wrong for mistrusting the minister after my SA, I was never wrong for hating the entire family and for still not wanting to find myself another church.

God has showed mercy on me and he's told me I'm not the sinner here. He stands with me, and with C, and with every one of His children who's ever gone through this. And I'll keep praying that our abusers will face justice by Him. May our Lord comfort C.

[itfitsitshipsart]

Daughters

Well, this ended up a bit long (like 1600 or 1700 words maybe?). But I'm happy with it. It's one of those rare first that I finished despite writing half of it ages ago!

No content warnings. The first meeting of my S/I and the twin girls, Nanako and Mimiko, whom Suguru is taking care of.

Geto Suguru X S/I

--

Geto Suguru looked over from the table and at the two girls on the floor. One blond and the other dark-haired, the two looked about 8 years old. Paper and crayons were littered about them as they quietly drew pictures.

"Nanako, Mimiko," he called their names as he got up, and they watched as he walked over and sat down with them. The girls put down their crayons as their guardian pulled out his phone. "Do you remember the nice lady named Evelyn I've told you about?" The girls nodded as he found a picture to show them. "Well, she's coming over in a few days to visit all of us. Doesn't that sound fun?"

The girls looked at each other, silent. Suguru felt that wasn't a good sign. Mimiko looked down and shrugged as Nanako gave a quiet "I guess." Suguru frowned a little.

"You don't want to meet her?" He asked. The two looked at each other again. "She told me she's really excited to meet you two."

"Why is she coming over?" Nanako asked. She picked up her crayon again and a fresh piece of paper. Suguru leaned back, his brow furrowing. How do you explain your girlfriend wanting to meet your kids to eight year olds? How do you explain dating? Should he even tell them he's dating? He sighed.

"She and I have been spending a lot of time together, and have gotten to be close." He tried to choose his words carefully, watching how the girls reacted. "And so we want to have dinner together here. I've also told her a lot about you both, because of how much I love you two, and she hopes she can be close with you both as well."

"...do you love her too, Geto?" Mimiko asked. She hugged her stuffed dolly tightly.

How are kids so perceptive? Suguru didn't answer, glancing away. The answer was obviously yes, but he doubted saying so was what they wanted. Mimiko hugged the doll more tightly as he stayed silent, her face scrunching up.

"You love her more than us, don't you."

"No, of course not!" Suguru blurted out, shaking his head. "Don't ever think that. You two are very special and I will never replace you." He moved closer to them on the floor, scooping each girl into his arms and onto his lap.

"Promise?" Nanako asked. The two looked up at him with big eyes. He gave them a large grin, tightening his hug.

"I promise."

Suguru mentally praised himself for this crisis averted. The girls hugged him back, buying their little faces into his shirt. Perhaps he'd have to bring up the concept of Evelyn visiting a few more times though before Thursday.

**

"Could you two answer the door for me please?" Suguru gestured as the doorbell rang. They looked at one another before hopping off their chairs and walking to the door. From the corner of his eye Suguru watched them while he opened a bottle of wine.

Grasping the handle with both hands, Nanako opened the door to the guest. They looked up at the blond woman and the several bags she carried. Evelyn smiled down at the girls, waving the best she could with the bags.

"You're Mimiko and Nanako, right?" She asked softly. The two nodded, but didn't move from where they stood.

"Girls, she can't get in if you're standing in the doorway." Suguru stated, quickly walking over. He grinned at Evelyn, before lightly ruffling the hair of both girls. "And what do we say, you two?"

"Welcome to our home." Nanako and Mimiko both bowed slightly before moving just enough to let their guest in.

"Thank you so much for having me," she nodded back to them, and murmured a second thank you as Suguru took several of the bags from her. The children watched as the adults smiled at each other, their gazes lingering on each other for several moments. Mimiko puffed out her cheeks and looked at her sister, who frowned in return.

"Well, let's get cooking!" Suguru clapped his hands together after setting the bags down. "Girls, will you two help as well?"

They both lit up as he smiled at them, nodding and rushing over to get their stools out and wash their hands.

Evelyn watched as Sugu maneuvered around the children, helping them wash up and get their matching pink aprons off the hook. He grabbed two more, adult sized, one pink and the other a plain black. She giggled as he looked at them, and a faint tinge of blush hit his cheeks as he held out the black one.

"...I'd offer you the one from the matching set, but it's kinda big…"

"The pink and lace suit you," she responded, slipping on the fabric and tying it. She giggled some more. "It's cute."

The blush darkened, and his eyes lingered on her as she smoothed out her apron and started taking things out of the bags. He trailed his gaze along her body, and he fumbled with his ties.

"Geto!" Nanako's loud shout, paired with both her and her sister tugging on his sleeves, pulled his attention back to them. He raised a brow. "What should we do now?"

"You two," he turned fully to them, "can help by washing the veggies for us. And us adults will cut them up. Okay?"

"We'll wash them until they sparkle!" Nanako balled her fists, grinning. Her sister nodded vigorously, smiling as well.

"Looks like you've got the best assistants one could ask for in a kitchen," Evelyn nudged him lightly.

"Yes, but they seem extra invigorated today…" he crossed his arms, and furrowed his brow. It wasn't a bad thing what they were doing, but it was suspicious.

And his suspicions grew faintly as the evening went on. They seemed extra needy, and somehow always when he found himself staring at Evelyn, or trying to talk with her. They even chose to help wash the dishes, despite being told they could play instead, and the two squished themselves between him and her.

"Alright you two, it's getting late, and you need to get ready for bed," he ruffled their hair, the two looking up. "Go on. Go put on your pajamas and brush your teeth."

The two hesitated, looking at him, then at Evelyn, then back to him. They both nodded slowly, and walked off to the hall and towards their room. Suguru sighed once he heard the door.

"Sorry if they seemed a bit off today, or a bit much. They're good kids-"

"No need to apologize," she shook her head. "I get they're wary of me, and that makes sense. Besides, it was adorable seeing how much they love you, and want to be with you." She moved closer, and fixed his shirt collar. "It is nice having a moment to be close to you though…"

"I was thinking the same thing." He murmured back, and rested a hand on her waist. Despite it being a date, he barely got to touch her hand in passing the entire evening. He drew her closer, and cupped her cheek. Drawing his face towards hers…

"No!" Both Nanako and Mimiko rushed out from the hall, tugging on the two adults to get away from each other. Mimiko clung to Suguru's leg, her little arms wrapped around tightly as she began to sniffle. At the same time, Nanako tugged on Evelyn's skirt, trying to move her further away with a sad glare.

"Oh dear," Evelyn mumbled, looking down at Nanako as her eyes started to water.

"Get away from our Geto." She stated, her voice starting to shake. "Get away from him!"

"Nanako, Mimiko…" Suguru sighed, and bent over to try and gently pry the child off of his leg. But she clung all the harder, only releasing an arm to wipe her nose. Once Evelyn was a distance Nanako considered far enough, she let go of her, and began to cling to his other leg, starting to cry as well. He looked over to Evelyn, mouthing a silent apology towards her.

Slowly, the crying began to subside. And before long there were quiet sniffles, they lessened their grips on him, and Suguru was finally able to pull them off his legs. He crouched down, looking at them.

"She's not going to take me away from you two. I've told you both this."

"But what if she does?" Nanako hiccuped, wiping her eyes. "What if you start liking her more and more…"

"And don't want us anymore," Mimiko finished what her sister said, grasping at her doll.

"It doesn't matter if I like her more. No matter how much I might end up loving her, it's different then how I love you two. You're irreplaceable, and I never want to lose either of you." He smiled at them as he spoke, the two soon moving closer to hug him. He hugged back tightly. "I really wish you'd give her a chance though. Evelyn is really nice. So, could you do that for me?"

The two slowly released him, nodding, though they didn't seem quite convinced.

"Could I give her a goodnight kiss then? Like what I give you two?" He asked. Neither answered, but began to smile as he leaned over and gave each a light kiss on their foreheads. Mimiko lifted up a finger.

"Yeah. One goodnight for her." Nanako agreed. Suguru nodded, and fixed his collar as he stood. He felt the two girls staring intently as he turned to Evelyn, and felt warmth rise to his cheeks once more. She smiled at him, standing still so he could come over.

"Well, goodnight then," He said softly, leaning down and pressing his lips to her forehead.

"Goodnight," she murmured back.

[purplesimmer455]

Back to the main universe*:

Grace’s parents arrived in the states a bit early and after spending a few days with their daughter, they asked to meet her girlfriend, Iseul. Iseul was more nervous than usual, meeting another person's parents was such a serious step and she was 100% ready but she still felt flutters in her stomach. Her older brother Min Jun had given her a pep talk on the phone while she was getting ready, and she stepped into the restaurant, putting on what she hoped was a confident smile.

She told the host she was meeting the Siddiquis, and he pointed her to the group. Grace’s mom Amna was pretty, with dark skin, the same beautiful brown eyes that Grace has, and long straight black hair in a plait. She was wearing what Grace had told Iseul was shalwaar kameez. Grace’s dad Samuel had light-tan skin, salt and pepper brown hair, green eyes that crinkled at the corners, and a kind and friendly face. They turned to Iseul as she walked towards them, and she smiled at them. "Hi, you must be Grace’s parents. It's so nice to meet you, I'm Iseul Kang." She said as she sat down next to Amna. Amna and Samuel said hi as well, and they shook Iseul's hand. Grace looked as beautiful as ever, with her hair in a fancy updo, bangles on her arms, and wearing a blue and white shalwaar kameez that made Iseul melt a bit at how good she looked. Grace’s eyes lit up as she took in Iseul, and she blew her a kiss, which made Iseul smile too.

Amna gave Iseul a curious once over, taking in her face, suit, and hair. "Gracie did tell us that you preferred men's clothing and style and having short hair." She said, her accent a pleasant mix of Pakistani and Simlish. Iseul grinned as Grace turned pink and told her something in Urdu. "No, it's all good." Iseul said to her, and she smiled at Mrs. Siddiqui. "Yes, I do prefer shorter hair and a more masculine style. Although technically I bought this outfit, so it's my clothing." She opted to joke, winking at Mrs. Siddiqui, who smiled faintly. Samuel laughed. "Exactly. Your suit looks nice, dear." He added. "Thank you, Mr. Siddiqui, your suit is nice too." Iseul said. "And I Iike your shalwaar kameez, Mrs. Siddiqui." She said to Amna, hoping her pronunciation was correct. "Thank you. I like your outfit too, it’s very sharp." Amna said, smiling. Grace smiled at Iseul, who smiled back. Iseul reached for Grace’s hand but Grace blushed, gesturing subtly to her mom. Iseul bit back a sigh but nodded. She respected that Amna was old fashioned, but it felt weird to not even hold hands with Grace in her presence. Still, she tried to focus on just getting to know and make a good impression on Grace’s parents, especially her mom.

They ordered their food, and while they waited, they talked. Amna asked Iseul about her career, and Iseul told her about her freelance work as a photographer, plus odd jobs such as bartending at some places. She noticed that Amna glanced at Samuel with a concerned look as she said it. Plus, they asked about her family, and Amna nodded sympathetically when Iseul told her that both of her parents were dead. "But I have an older brother, sister-in-law, and two amazing nieces . My oldest niece Cecilia is getting married to her fiancée, this sweet woman named Hanh, so I'm gaining another niece when they tie the knot. Plus, my youngest niece Cameron is dating this girl named Piper, and she's really sweet too and always joking that since she's going to marry Cam one day I'm officially her auntie too, and she calls me auntie Is." She added with a smile. Amna smiled too. "I'm sorry to hear about your parents, Iseul, and your family sounds delightful. I'd love to meet them." Samuel nodded. "Yes, if they feel comfortable doing so." He said. Iseul smiled. "They'd love to meet you." She said. Plus they asked how Iseul met their Gracie. "On Simder once she moved from Simland to here." Iseul smiled softly at Grace. "I sent her a cheesy text and I haven't been able to get her off my mind since." Grace blushed. "Same here, Issy." She said. "I'm very glad you two are happy." Samuel said, smiling softly. "Iseul, I hope this isn't untoward but I'd like to bring up that you're friends with your ex girlfriend, right?" Amna asked, and Iseul nodded. "It's not, Mrs. S. I am friends with Megs and her wife Tess, and although I can’t deny that she’s my first love and that feeling doesn’t go away, I really like your daughter now and I want to be with her." Amna nodded, but she looked conflicted as she exchanged a look with Grace. Iseul then got up to go to the bathroom (plus to give herself another pep talk in the mirror).

Amna turned to her daughter. “Bheta, I like Iseul so far, but do you really like her? Are you happy?” Grace nodded, smiling. “I do, ammi. I really like her, I think I might even love her.” She blushed and added teasingly. “Plus, she might be your future daughter in law and we’ll move in next to you and dad.” Amna smiled too. “Then I’m glad.” She said. “Me too.” Samuel added. “I was hesitant at first, but Iseul seems like a very nice young woman, and she seems to really like you too. Plus, I like her style and I want to know where she got that suit from.” Grace grinned. “Dad, is that all you think about?” She teased, but smiled.

[stripedwolf88]

Because I have no one immediately to share this with that will just *get* it, I'm gonna do it here. If this so happens to randomly pop up on your feed, feel free to scroll past this personal story from a stranger and have a great day! 💛

For anyone who was bored enough to stay: Hello!

So...I'm a lesbian and I have a crush on a coworker. Problem is that she has a girlfriend. Well it's not really a problem because I wouldn't have made a move anyway for multiple reasons (too scared, not ready for a relationship, not sure we would even really be compatible).

Anyway we had a convo recently about her girlfriend out of the blue adding me on Snapchat. It freaked me out because we had literally just had a conversation the day before about me not talking crap about her girlfriend. Her girlfriend has been pretty possessive abd displayed some not exactly healthy behavior and my coworker/friend has been telling me about it. I was the one who brought up the fact that she should tell me if I ever say something out of line with her girlfriend 'cause as much as her girlfriend is pissing me off, I don't want to disrespect my friend and her relationship. It's just not cool. So anyway after that convo the girlfriend added me on snap.

I ended up telling my friend about it a few days later (2 days ago). She ended up telling me about how her girlfriend didn't realize I was gay even though my friend told her after we started talking and hanging out more. And I know that my friend isn't lying because she told me that she talked about me to her girlfriend and we technically met online through a virtual dnd session I was invited to. So her girlfriend got upset because she said she wouldn't have allowed me and my friend to hang out in her dorm room. Mind you my friend's girlfriend is in another state. My friend told her girlfriend that it wasn't a problem because I have been really respectful about their relationship.

Which....two things about this phrasing. 1) It really made me happy and proud that my friend/crush sees me this way. 2) My sister pointed out that she used that phrasing to calm her girlfriend instead of saying "Oh she doesn't even like me that way and I don't like her that way." So I kinda fixated on that. She likely knows I have a crush on her. I've been told I'm pretty obvious when I like someone so def a possibility. I also thought maybe I'm just overthinking that bit? I mean that's stuff a straight person would say if a guy was hanging out with his girlfriend and vice versa right? Idk I'm just kind of jumbled about it. It's not a big thing if she knows. She's obviously okay with it if she does. She's not cuddly with me but she also doesn't shy away from being close to me like to tell or show me something?

I guess the point of all of this, if you're still reading, is what do you think stranger? Any thoughts on her phrasing? What would should I do if her girlfriend starts asking me questions about my friend or about our friendship? I know I have nothing to worry about because we really haven't done anything wrong but I'd like to be prepared. Do i just tell her if you have a question you should ask your girlfriend instead of me? I mean she should trust her than me since I'm still a bit of a stranger.

Anyway that's my lil story. If you have thoughts feel free to tell me them. If you don't have thoughts but connected with this story and the feeling I had during, awesome. You're not alone. Have a beautiful day to anyone reading 💛

[tonitonitoni--444]

April 26th, 12:45am

The feeling of loving who I am, but despising who I am, over and over again, such madness. Two weeks ago I just left a relationship in which I could tell I wasn't wanted. She said my "ups and downs" were too much. She stopped being affectionate and stopped trying everything, besides sex. All of that sent me into a downward spiral of self loathing and depression. I made many inquiries on how to get facial surgeries and learning to train my voice. Making myself somehow prettier than I am.

A few days after this downward spiral all I wanted to do was find a woman to talk to and maybe hookup with. Even now I am craving some type of humanity, someone who actually gives a fuck. So, 3 days ago I started talking to Aimee. Aimee was one of my many weaknesses, a tom-boyish woman who exuded strength and sex appeal. She lives in another state but still I kinda fell hardish even though all we did was talk to each other through voice snap messages. I felt so good every time we were talking. I should have looked facts in the face about the terrible cruel world I often find myself in.

This morning I got 0 messages from 'Aimee'. I figured "she's busy" I thought I would pull a baller move and send her a snap of me singing and playing one of her favorite songs and she'd be excited by it whenever she looked.

I spent all day waiting for a snap from Aimee. I figured she liked me. I got so crazy about the situation that I didn't do ANY of the stuff I wanted to do for myself today like dyeing my hair and doing beauty stuff. Eventually I fell asleep from waiting around.

When I wok up from my sleep I realized she sent me a snap and I was so happy. But what did I get? I got a video of her watching tv. She had nothing to say about me or my music. Like even if I didn't like a person like me I would have still said something to be a decent person. Even still, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. "Maybe she is tired" "maybe she didn't listen or see".

About an hour later to my surprise I see her on facebook posting shit like "where am I going to find my 'so and so' girlfriend " and other shit like that.

-Here's the shit fact about being a trans woman in today's society-

If you are like me and like women, too bad. Cis lesbians, especially the butch kind want vagina.🤷🏻‍♀️ who can blame them, right? Even I want vagina more than dick from trans girl.

Men will treat you as a prized piece of meat only as a booty call because now people are saying trans women are 'men' again so that makes men "gay" which I don't understand at all whatsoever.

Trans women treat you nicely but it's almost too close to home. And honestly alot of trans women just don't try enough. They don't look female to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ makes me wonder what I look to everyone else because to say that I am a man is complete bullshit because I know I'm definitely not.

I swear I was supposed to be born a woman. A year and 3 days before I was born my sister was born dead straight out of my mothers womb. That's the only reason I am here on this planet. If she was alive I wouldn't have been planned at all. Sometimes I am thoroughly convinced that was me who was supposed to be born.

Its just so unfair. Why was I born male with low Testosterone and fucked hormones? Why am I the way I am? I want to kill myself about how bad it gets sometimes. No one really wants or likes me because I am nothing but a trans woman to the world. My other accomplishments and skills mean nothing. So what am I to do? I hate the way people treat me because it makes me hate myself. I always feel stuck because of how the world treats me. Id rather die than prance around as a dude again. It's not right. If I was a man, id have all the love, the best pay, treated the best and with respect.

So I am left here with one hope in my life. Perhaps if I work on my outer-self I can become a pornstar of some sort. That's the only route that I can actually see myself happy.

Everything else wont work because of the simple fact that I am a "trans woman". Bottom of the bottom, and least respected.

[hiriajuu-suffering]

How I realized I'm polyamorous

Deep down, I always sort of knew I was. But, like anyone else in this world, I grew up in amatanormative society, only looking at monogamy as a valid way to undergo moral relationships. I realized through my own experiences, the goal of amatanormalcy is order, and thereby patriarchy, when that's not how society views most polyamorous straight men. I'm viewed as greedy, shameless, and always over the line because, as straight men, are supposed to respect ownership of their partners above all else, aren't we?

My first crush was an unrequited love. She had a spirit about her that I found difficult not to be attracted to. We were both the centers of our social groups, me being the center of a handful of nerdy boys and her being the mover and shaker of some of the prettiest girls. I found myself pining over her because I thought we supplemented each other perfectly, she brought the high social energy and I brought the intelligence, the thing I was know for. But that's not how things would align, in the end. One of my best friends moved back from Canada, she became fascinated with new kid, so my best friend became her first relationship, not me. Harboring resentment over the situation, I sought to change myself so the both of them would realize I deserved a place in the conversation, but my efforts went unnoticed by her; one of her best friends picked up on it instead. She (the one dating my best friend) encouraged me to go for it instead of worrying about her, and, for some reason, my feelings for her didn't get in the way. That relationship never came to pass as my first real relationship, because I got snowed in another state during spring break on the day I was supposed to prove myself and make it official. My best friend and her would break up shortly thereafter, and I never quite found room to wedge myself an opportunity with either of them again, as much as I grew fond of both of them. Nonetheless, I had feelings for both of them at the same time, the first time I realized relationship morality wasn't as simple as society was convincing me to believe.

I did have another opportunity come my way before they broke up, my best friend and I had math class together and he thought, given the situation, it would've been much more impressive if I could pull one of the two pretty girls that sat with us in math class (mainly so they could get my help and potentially cheat off me during tests). One of them made her interest in me clear. Problem is, everyone at school knew she was dating someone else already. I don't even know how hurt the other guy must've been in the moment knowing his girlfriend confessed to some random nerd like me. However, before that situation became a conflict, she told us all she wanted to leave with no regrets since she and her family were moving to Australia when the school year was over, and him and I never fought over her. I told her she should enjoy what time she had left of her relationship, and that I knew and really felt great that she could even look at me like that. But I never felt guilty about being the other guy, either.

The following year, I was a bit more determined to manifest my first relationship. I always thought it would be my first crush, so I got in the mindset I had to make her jealous for her to give me a chance. I had no idea who would even be interested in me still, then my childhood friend tells me she always thought I would be her first relationship. I was stunned. I had seen her just as a little sister up until that point, but I took to it and didn't know how to truly handle it since it was the first opportunity I had in life that wasn't just going to be entropic. The worst possible outcome came of it, we never got to date and our friendship started drifting because we tried, but more on that, later.

It came to light how I felt about my first crush after my best friend and her broke up. Her friends bullied me mercilessly for it. It was the first time I found myself wanting to dissociate from the social bubble I had built for myself, and the weight of it was taking its toll on me in the classroom. I wasn't the smart kid anymore, my grades were falling and nothing I did was fixing them. I later found out it was the worst of my ADHD coupled with some other lingering mental health issues as the cause, but there was one class I not only stayed focused in, but I actively still did amazing in. Science class, but it wasn't because I was particularly good at science, sure, I liked the subject, but there was a different type of feeling that was motivating me, and, it was my lab partner. She was, way too pretty for me to ever realize being in my own head all the time instead of noticing her as a girl. She was one of the very few girls left in my life I could just talk to as a friend. I started realizing with her, when she wrote me a letter before winter holidays, there was always something deeper to our friendship than platonic love. I couldn't believe she liked me, I had never even considered it. But, she said at the end of the letter she was moving to California and I wouldn't see her in class again, and the only reason she waited until she was leaving to write the letter and decided to confess is so our friendship would never be at risk, like my childhood friend's was (she didn't even know about her). She didn't want me to get attached, knowing she'd just be leaving in a few months. I still think the world of her for that, and it was the second time in my life I realized, I had feelings for two girls at the same time, my childhood friend and my lab partner.

However, all of this left me hollowed out. I had never truly dated someone still and this was something I really was heavily considering for a few years now. The pressure I put myself would make me a serial monogamist for awhile.

A lot was going on with me at a time. Prior to that summer, all I had ever taken initiative on was band. My band directors, instead of putting me in 1st band as my skill level would place me in, decided to place me in 2nd band so I could be section leader, when I likely could've at least competed for section leader in 1st band. I decided I needed to diversify my interests. I was in Georgia visiting my family that summer, and my older cousins love basketball. I got so much better that summer after a huge growth spurt that year, I decided to make basketball a part of who I was instead of just letting it be a hobby. On top of that, I had room for another class, and I chose speech, theater, and debate - the activity that now defines my professional life. I mention all that so you don't get lost in context, because, when I say serial monogamy, I scrounged opportunity from every facet of my life.

While I was in Georgia, my cousin had a girl crushing on him. I remember how beautiful she was hanging out with her and I couldn't understand why he kept rejecting her advances. He eventually told me he was stuck in the same hopeless pining I was towards my first crush, so he felt guilty about even giving her a chance. That's the first time I truly realized something with the way I thought about relationships was different, it shouldn't just be how people feel, it should be about what brings people together.

I came back changed, 2 girl best friends from another school started messaging me while I was in Georgia and I wasn't really sure which one liked me more, who was the wingwoman and who had the stronger feelings. I knew, before I ever got to talk about their feelings with them in-person, they would already decide who my first real relationship would be. And so they did. In my own vanity, I thought I had any sort of control over the situation and that it was me who picked between the two of them. I wasn't even sure if I was allowed to have feelings for both of them. At some point though, both of them had feelings for me and they decided for themselves who would get the guy they were both eyeing. I had seen my best friend as my rival, having to compete with him for the attention of my first crush, and I began to resent him a little for it, but they showed me it never had to be that way.

Another change was also happening for me, my godfamily had always lived in South Carolina and they decided to move to where I was. I don't know if I would've ever found my authentic self without them making that decision. My godsibling quickly became one of my two girl best friends, after losing both my childhood friend and lab partner just months prior. I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure she didn't feel lonely coming to a new place, and, she was so appreciative, she planned a surprise party for us because we happened to nearly share a birthday, but that wouldn't be until later in the term.

I was focused on making the basketball team until that point, I didn't feel I had room to grow anywhere else. I played after school almost every day with kids a year older than me to keep improving, and some girls hung out with us, watching us play some days, not knowing a few them were eyeing us up as we were playing. I volunteered to walk a girl or two home fairly often, and saying it made my girlfriend, the one the two best friends decided I should be dating, jealous was a huge understatement. I never looked at any of those girls as options because I was with someone, though I knew they were attractive. One of the girls who probably did develop feelings for me thought she could snatch me from her, and, when I proved my loyalty, she took her frustrations out on me later.

The relationship I had itself was a deep infatuation with one another and we tried not to be shy about it. We both hated being bashful about how we felt, even thought that's how we often were naturally. As things got more emotional, the less we cared about embarrassing ourselves. I remember how often we'd talk on the phone all night, wishing we went to the same school just so we'd get real time together instead of getting by on basically only the weekends with anything in-person.

The surprise party comes around and there was one person from the party noticeably missing. My current girlfriend, wasn't by my side at my godsister and I's party. I was torn over it, my friends kept telling me she was never doing enough for me and we were barely a couple with so many better options at my party. I didn't want to be disloyal, and I couldn't help but feel guilty for thinking that should be on her alone. So I put it out of my mind in attempts to try to enjoy myself, I forced her to make a choice the week after, and that was the first time I ever broke up with someone non-amicably, my first real relationship.

My godsister thought one of her friends might be a better fit for me than my now ex, so she tried to set us up. We lasted about a week because I wasn't in the right headspace to value her. I didn't give myself time to think because I thought there was no circumstance I wouldn't be better off in a relationship.

Remember my best friend who dated my first crush? Well, he started dating my godsister's cousin after the party and they...needed friends to facilitate a date for them because there weren't a lot of people that were thrilled about them (myself included). But, I stepped up for the task not knowing what would happen would change my outlook on regret and missed opportunity for the rest of my life.

One of my first debate teammates had recently broken up for her taking the relationship too seriously. I thought he was insane for giving that as a reason, why wouldn't you want a girl to be serious about you? I didn't know what he meant until I crossed paths with her that day. My best friend brought me, his girlfriend brought two of her friends, one of which was my teammate's ex. We connected instantly. I honestly started feeling bad for the other girl because, while I tried to keep her included, there was no doubt she was feeling like a third wheel with how absurd the chemistry became the two of us in just a few hours. In just a day, I felt as intensely about this girl as I had my ex, probably more so. I remember being in my head about it, that I wanted to do everything possible not to mess it up. Yet, I still did. She fixated on one miscommunicated line when my best friend and his girlfriend were fighting that night, and she took it as I was no longer interested in her and shut me out. I was really pissed off at my best friend, but he wouldn't advocate for me because he was too mad with his own relationship. I went so far as taking his girlfriend's side when they were breaking it off just to try to get a real chance with her friend, knowing my best friend would understand knowing he turned his back on me by going out with my first crush, and that didn't even salvage the situation.

Love can unexpectedly and hit you harder than you ever expect. I could've easily been with someone else on that day, I don't think I would've felt differently about her. Maybe she was "the one that got away", maybe my mind romanticized her far too much. After this, when it came to love, I went from cloyingly pragmatic to a hopeless romantic. Opportunity, chance, circumstance, convenience - on a moral level - are of the subjective mind and the only thing that manipulate those factors is unsystematic communication. Chaos is the way to maximizing love, not order. My expectations rose so unreasonably, so many of my bad habits began to form in my next few relationships.

I kept saying my now ex was my first "real" relationship. She wasn't my first relationship, nor my first kiss. It was my first real relationship because it's the first one I had that hadn't naturally cooled out due to distance. Long distance relationships suck, but my first experiences in calling myself someone's boyfriend were from girls I had a handful of really good hangouts with and we couldn't sustain the effort for each other. Not long after this intense feeling washed over me, I met another girl who was too sweet to me to refuse, but she lived so far away across town it practically was a long distance relationship. We would be on-again-off-again for the next year or two, but I always wondered why I couldn't just stay with her when I knew how much I cared about her. I thought there had to be something wrong with me, I spent so much time manipulating situations to my advantage I forgot how to be vulnerable enough to care in a relationship. If there wasn't only ever one girlfriend I could have, she would always be there and her friendship never would've had to be sacrificed for trying to advance a relationship. I wasn't ready to make that realization then, and I still look down on myself for how I treated her back then.

Anyone who knows the way I joke about myself is trying to help my partners grow as individuals often goes down the slippery slope of my arrogance making me think I can fix her. That pattern started with this opportunity, I was stingy with my romantic attention because, if a girl wasn't better than the long-distance relationship I had, why would I bother? I met a girl that became notorious for bouncing around from guy-to-guy, giving almost any guy a shot but it would usually end there. All my friends seemed to just think she was just an attention slut, but I was personally intrigued. I made an effort to actually get to know her before I even tried to flirt with her. It shook her to her core. She told me she realized she was trying to make all these guys prove they could be worth her time, but the way she felt about me flipped that around on her, and I became her obsession for a little over a month. I ended things when I realized her mind wasn't looking forward, she was only fantasizing about what we could be in a full relationship, it was like seeing all the flaws in love I used to believe and breaking up with them. I wanted to pull her up with me, but she wasn't ready. I prodded her years later, and she still wasn't ready. Some people could never be ready, because it's not who they are to deconstruct love so critically.

My other girl best friend, the one that wasn't my godsister, would then battle cancer. I didn't know why I put my entire love life on hold for her when I had no romantic interest in her whatsoever, but I knew I needed to be there for her. I watched as most of her other friends refused to believe in her and abandon her while I made sure she knew she was loved. When her tumor was finally gone, she became a bit more distant, more cold-hearted, but she knew she could trust me to stand by her no matter how angry she got and how that drove people away. My friendship with her had been so much more real than any romantic relationship I experienced before I started leaning poly, too many people confused us as an old married couple when we were more like siblings. Gender shouldn't affect how deeply you care about someone, only how physically attractive you're able to find them. I'm constantly amazed by how people's actions fail to realize that, sacrificing others they care about just for someone that's putting out. I actively try not to see gender until there's an interest from the other party, that's what makes me recipromantic.

Once she was safe, I looked out at my options to see what I could put my romantic energy into next. I had met two best friends, one single and one taken, that brought me into their friendship. The single one did think I was attractive and let a compliment slip ever so often, but never was interested in making me hers. The taken one had little faith in her relationship so would constantly flirt with me since, even though she loved the guy she was with, she had no faith it could last with him treating her right, or at least as well as I could treat her. I never felt pressured to give into anything more than I was comfortable with. Sometimes I'd think why either of them weren't with me in that way. My experience being their guy best friend for a bit, I think I realized I was equally attracted to both of them in vastly different ways and I started to try to figure out a way I never had to choose between them when they both finally caught on they were starting to look at me romantically. No matter what I did, I only made things worse as their feelings toward me grew and they got more rivalrous and possessive over my time individually. Sometimes I still wish I could've dated them both, to avoid their friendship falling out and to help steer them away from future relationship problems they would experience. For the longest time, I felt immense guilt for even daring to think dating them both would've been best for both of them until I realized what I really was.

With that situation being at a stalemate, I had to turn to someone to just rinse some of how I was being pent up by them. There was a girl I knew of from a lot of mutual friends, but never had the opportunity to talk with her until she wanted to complain about one of her friends I knew to me one day. I'm still not sure why she chose to trust me so much. We got in the habit of being each other's confidants, knowing sides of each other we would never dare share with anyone else. Being dumb kids, we didn't realize that, on its own, was intimacy. Before we knew, we fell hard and we fell fast. It was the first relationship I never had to teach in, not because she had experience, but because it all just came so naturally because it was built on a friendship without the pretense of a relationship. And I let myself think a few too many times she could've been the one had our situation not gotten corrupted by outside influences.

Her friends, didn't like me. One of them I was standoffish with when she tried to get me to cheat in my first "real" relationship, back when I was walking her home after school only out of kindness. Another, well, I also developed feelings for as my friendship with her was deepening. She had been already telling me just how much they were badmouthing me to her when she told them we started dating, I just never knew how far they would go to get me out of the picture. I went to a no-phones summer program for a few weeks, and, when I got back, any spark she felt towards me was gone. She barely even wanted to talk as friends anymore. In just a few weeks, I lost someone who I thought had the potential to be everything but I would experience an even worse version of that immediately after.

My feelings started to lose meaning to me, coming to terms with how easily they can be discarded. I wracked up more dumb, fleeting crushes after that breakup than I ever thought possible because I was desperately searching for a love that came as naturally as the last that might not walk out on me. I didn't just hear the phrase "I see you as a brother" in some variation, I started to internalize it. That's all I would ever be to girls I saw value in, a brother, who they could extract whatever gratification they needed of me without ever giving me a real chance. How else could I explain already having sampled so many different romantic partners and never being able to make it work for more than a few months at a time? I blamed it on my environment, my family, but, most of all, I blamed it on myself.

I truly thought I had been broken and lost hope in love, until the first love of my life showed me my way. The first thing I remember about her was how thick her Ontario accent was. She was the new girl in town and really hated the way her newfound friends spoke of me, so went out of her way to find out herself. She asked me out as a joke, then just committed to the bit.

Her: hey, so those girls over there really don't like you, any reason? Me: I think one of their cousins is my ex, it didn't end well. Her: oh? her or you? Me: probably more me, I'm not the easiest to get along with. Her: makes sense, I kinda want to go out with you just to piss them off. Me: what if I said yes? Her: you don't even know who I am? Me: I know enough to appreciate how you think. Her: Town Center tomorrow? Me: ...seriously? Her: I need better friends than people who have something negative to say about everyone. You could've defended yourself, but you didn't? I mean, who does that? Me: someone who's not worth defending. Her: hey, that's for ME to decide and YOU to find out. Me: I was under the impression people our age didn't decide things on their own. Her: is that how it works down here? Me: uhh, where are you from where it isn't? Her: Canada. so I guess I gotta pick my friends carefully down here, huh? Me: I'd say that's wise. Her: great, then I'd better see you tomorrow. at the Barnes & Noble, let's say 2? *writes down my number on a piece of paper, and hands it to her* Me: let me know if you're running late Her: you carry around a pen & paper all the time? Me: I...am on the debate team at school, it's a habit Her: t'es intéressant et mignon, j'attends demain avec impatience. je m'appelle Kaitlynn Me: was that French? She winked at me and just walked away as if nothing happened.

I understood barely enough French to know it was a compliment, but I couldn't wrap my head around how any girl could be so honest. We ended up spending the whole day together, we didn't even realize how fast time was going by until after we bothered looking at our phones over 6 hours later. It didn't feel anything like a fairy tale like the last one, it wasn't even about feeling natural. I've never trusted someone so immediately, finding a way to lose myself in conversation and never feeling like I was putting her off or saying something she couldn't understand. Her: I've never met anyone like you. Me: like what? Her: that is comfortable not playing themselves up like all the dorks back home would Me: it's not much different here Her: so what makes you different? Me: dunno Her: everyone is kinda a weirdo, you're just weirder than most Me: gee, thanks Her: it's not a bad thing. for me. Me: it's not? Her: I have fun with you Me: ordering me around, I don't remember agreeing to that Her: wait, not like that! I stood there, not knowing where I was going with the joke. Her: like. this. That was the first time we kissed. I just remember my mind going blank and it being the first time I didn't have to do anything for it to get more intense.

Needless to say, I believed in love again. It was a different kind of love, nothing like I imagined it should be. It wasn't about what we came together to be, it's who we were individually and just committing to enjoy life, together. That's who we were. No painful expectations, no fear of betrayal.

I found myself at her funeral a few months later. I didn't know it back then, but I would never stop loving her. Instead of comparing anyone I met from there-on-out to her, I knew no one would even come close. I also knew there was always going to be something different. That put a screeching halt to my serial monogamy and forced me to reevaluate everything I knew up until that point, I didn't let myself grieve at first, I just sunk myself deeper into being a better debater while I couldn't focus on anything else in that same environment. I had to transfer schools because my grades got so bad and I started getting way too paranoid about trusting anyone where I was. I couldn't even tell how many opportunities I fully missed out or outright ignored the next few years just to keep my mind occupied, away from the grief I eventually would have to face for losing someone who didn't just start to feel like my girlfriend, she started to feel like my wife.

Then, the moment finally came. My best friend, who had been my debate partner for a year at this point, and childhood friend were fresh off of fighting over a guy that threw me under the bus to try to save face. My best friend took my side and dated someone else in retaliation, but my childhood friend had fully twisted the knife she stabbed me with. She would later approach me in that same Barnes & Noble to apologize, but the damage was done and our relationship would never be the same. I had resolved to myself I was only ever going to give someone a chance that had the courage to see me as I am first, rather than treating me as a means to an end.

I gave another girl a chance when I exhausted all the ways I had to keep myself occupied, and felt gross about myself when I started getting feelings for her friend. I was the same douchebag I'd always been. In order for me to feel like I could commit to love again, deep down, I knew I'd have to find who I was on my own again, not with the same friends I'd always had and not the town which felt like I had exhausted every eligible person with an affinity towards me.

But not before someone forced the blinders off me in her own sorrow. When you put your heart into something, no matter how much you try to hide your soul while talking to others, someone is going to figure out who you really are. This girl was someone who I had faced as a rival in debate and recognized just how brilliant she was, even though she never managed to get a win against me. We were both the debate Presidents at our schools, gaining a reputation for having some really talented novices as a name to fear from both of our respective relatively smaller programs. Our debate seasons were over, and she chose to confide in me. Her relationship had fallen apart because neither her nor her boyfriend were willing to forgive the other for petulant mistakes. At times, it felt like she truly wanted to move on and as we spent more time together, everyone around us started to believe it to. They urged me to make a move so much, I got sick of hearing it. I knew better, my pessimism, knew better. I did fall in love with her, but not romantically, at least not in the moment. Maybe if I fell in love with her completely, things would've been different, but I didn't want to budge or show any aggression towards wanting a relationship with her until I was absolutely sure. Maybe it cost me my chance with someone who could've been perfect for and with me, but it's just as likely she would've never been over him if I only tried to tie her down in all the ways I knew how. Her and the boyfriend she came to me about would eventually get married and at their wedding, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit envious.

I finally left the environment that reminded me of so much, only for my resilience to give out on my next whole-hearted attempt. I honestly hate talking about her a lot, not because I hate her, I couldn't ever hate her no matter how much she pushed me over the edge when she didn't know what else to do, but she wasn't Kaitlynn. Me letting myself expect that of her just because, at first, she was just a smarter, shorter, more repressed version of her in my mind wasn't fair to anyone, myself or her. I fell in love again, but told her we had to wait until we were older to stick our necks out more. I told her to be patient, then I lost patience myself and became obsessed with the process and the thrill of fighting. She didn't want to fight, she didn't see the world as a battleground. She just wanted someone who didn't find it difficult to love her, and I made it difficult even though it was the easiest time I had loving someone up until that point in my life. When she cut ties with me, I spiraled. It's like all the grief I had been holding onto for years hit me all at once. I could barely eat or sleep, but I couldn't get myself out of bed either. I felt the most dead I ever have, and I train myself continuously to never go back to that dark place ever again.

Even in that dark place, someone still saw me as enough to worthy of them, even if it was only as her other man. I, told her it needed to be me and me alone, and, the situation would work itself out where I would become her primary. Then I got insecure she was cheating on me with my best friend at the time, it still makes no sense in my sane mind how I ever let myself get that paranoid. I came clean about my condition to my best friend at the time, and all he said to me was "I'm sick of being lied to" and never spoke to me again. In retrospect, every negative aspect I feel about monogamy now was formed because of how I thought at that time in my life.

I decided to give a chance to someone who had been pining after me for awhile, one of the few that still remembered after a couple of years how capable I was. She truly believed in me. She loved me, unconditionally. I tried to do the same, but the amatanormative pressures would thwart any ability we had to thrive to together. The last three girls I mentioned, I was so lost, I would've followed them anywhere, but the three of them, in their own ways, told me to stop following them. It's because I had remained a hollow person since my first crush, with no one around long enough to fill up my cup in all the ways I needed. Not with words, not with touch, not with gifts, not even through service. I just needed time to fill back up, time I didn't have. So, I did what any shell of a hopeless romantic would do - move to Austin.

That point in my life, I never felt as if I willfully limited myself even though I was the most available I've ever been. I spent so much time being alone, learning to value myself so I broke the habit of self-sacrifice and sabotage. Did it stop my hopeless pining? Well, no. I did that a lot while I was alone. I kept searching and, no matter how much effort I put in, I always felt alone. No matter how worthy I was to be possessed, there wasn't a woman willing accept me for what I am. The only way I had to defend how my heart has been so scarred and burned is to remind myself who you are with should never define your value. Love exists despite imperfections, not from a lack thereof. Love is accepting flaws and forgiving too easily for them, not a lack of compromise or boundaries slowly adapting for the sake of them. Love's characteristics aren't belonging to someone, it's feeling like you belong regardless.

I finally met someone that understands that, and I'm in the process of marrying her. But when I first started seeing her, I hadn't even considered I had already bought into everything polyamory stands for. The first few months of our relationship was a struggle, both of us only knew what an ideal relationship dynamic was in theory, but putting it into practice took a lot of effort. We had label differences to overcome and we often chose the wrong decisions in prioritizing that, sometimes out of fear and other times out of impulsiveness. But the thing is, she's the one person that learned to stay when she truly understood I wasn't going to be another prison for her. Her biggest fear in marriage was it becoming a restriction on her freedom rather than a liberation, and I needed a spirit like hers, to put freedom before a commitment to love can truly be made, for me to realize as well. When she began breaking her shackles of her own accord, not even for my sake, we talked endlessly about how we could do everything to maximize each other's freedom. It was never about limiting each other's happiness to one another, love is wanting to see another happy no matter the origin. Polyamory just happened to be the best ethical label for that.

What it took for me to realize was bolded, so, to recap - I found myself in multiple situations where I had strong romantic feelings for more than one person. - I responded to it with extreme fits of rage, guilt, and self-doubt as society instructs us to do every time. - A relationship shouldn't be just about how people feel [since relationships also cause so much negative emotion], a relationship instead should be centered around what brings people together. - Opportunity, chance, circumstance, and convenience are subjective. Therefore, chaos creates true love, not order. - If I can only ever have one partner, I would have to sacrifice an innumerable amount of friendships for the sake of said partner's security and happiness. That includes if the partner in question's friendship, categorically reasoning. - Breaking societal norms to figure out how best to love for oneself is not right for those who do not see love as a penultimate goal in life. - Gender should never affect how deeply you care about someone. - A relationship is the sum of its parts, not the image of its whole. - A relationship takes initiative from every party, regardless of gender socialization norms. - A healthy relationship requires self-awareness. - Emotional connection is more compelling for me than other sorts. - I don't "get over" former partners, I move on from them. - I would always be cheating on a dead person if I was fully monogamous and continued to carry those beliefs. - No singular person should be expected to meet the entirety of another person's needs, that's codependency. - Who you are with does not define you. - Being loved isn't belonging to, it's belonging without ownership. - To love someone completely is to put no conditions on offering them happiness when they are in pursuit of it.

I thought I was going to have too little to say on this and took this decision too lightly, because that's how society looks at ethical nonmonogamy. Turns out, I knew all along.

[tangent101]

People tend to view Chloe as a "bad person" and "toxic friend" and "irredeemable" for one of two reasons. First? It is much easier to justify murdering someone (and Sacrifice Chloe is murder) if the person murdered was "a bad person who always would be bad."

The second is of course misogyny. I have in the past run across people who stated proudly "I hated Chloe so I did everything I could to make her suffer before I killed her" and even "Max was so bland and uninteresting, I hate her so much so I'm making Max suffer by killing Chloe."

Honestly, very few people who care about Chloe talk about the need to sacrifice her or that it is justified or needed. Some folks talk about the "Greater Good" but they don't really stick around to defend their point, possibly seeing that their actions are in fact wrong.

Let's put it another way. Let's ignore Max, let's ignore Chloe. You have your boyfriend or girlfriend or brother or sister or someone else who you are really close to. You love them. It need not be romantic. Love is love, the love toward family or friends is as powerful as that of a boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse. Would you sacrifice your loved one to save a bunch of people who don't care for your loved one? Not Max Caulfield. You yourself.

More, would you sacrifice that person on a "maybe" - that maybe killing them will stop something horrible from happening? You have no proof. You just have some person insisting that your loved one has to die to save everyone else. Would you do it?

When you look at it from that perspective... you don't sacrifice your loved one. You convince yourself that it wouldn't change anything. You move on and look ahead. It was always going to happen. How is time traveling into the past and letting your loved one die going to change a huge-ass tornado from destroying your town? That's just idiocy. That's saying "God insists I need to sacrifice my son" (Abraham, I am looking at you and calling you out).

There is one last thing about Chloe that so many "Chloe is horrible" people forget. This is a girl who for nearly five years has been being abused emotionally and physically by her stepfather, had law enforcement and her school turn their backs on her, had her mother turn a blind eye and protect Chloe's abuser, and most importantly of all had been dosed with a date-rape drug and doesn't know if she was raped or not. Chloe is a survivor of sexual assault. So is Kate Marsh. Kate snaps at people and is angry... and ends up on the top of a building intending on jumping to her death. Chloe ends up on the side of a cliff offering her best friend an out to maybe save everyone else but at the cost of her own life.

Chloe is a victim. It's easy to look at her actions and say "she's horrible" (and the irony is so many people are willing to defend the rich handsome white guy who assaulted Chloe and Kate and Rachel) and ignore what was done to her, done to all of the victims in this story. They insist "there was no rape" as if that is a viable shield, that the sexual assault is okay because there was no penetration that we know of. They blame the victims rather than the criminals. After all, the victims are just young women.

It's so mental to me how people can even think that Chloe is horrible and irredeemable. Like she is a teen girl that has gone through a lot of trauma, of course she's gonna do or say things that aren't perfect and she's going to be messy. She definitely needs therapy, but she's not a bad person. In fact, she has so much love in her heart that she wants to give. Life has just beaten her up over and over, and she has to protect herself by being so prickly.

Both her and Max should be in therapy once they get to Seattle. Hell, maybe even couples therapy. As much as I love Pricefield, they are pretty codependent and have things they need to work out.

Yeah, I can understand not liking Chloe, but the extreme word use involving her is a lot. Much worse characters have gotten redemption arcs in their canon media, so it's hard for me to wrap my head around someone seeing a troubled teen girl and going "She can not learn or grown."

I think Chloe is a good case study on "troubled people aren't synonymous with bad people." Like you said, she needs therapy, and she needs to learn to communicate in a better way, but she's never had the safe space to do that. Her home isn't safe. She got kicked out of school. Her relationship with Rachel seemed a unstable. Max was MIA. Like...she's never been given a good space to learn and grow, and when she's given that environment when Max comes back, she flourishes, despite their...actually really serious codependency going on.

I also think hating Chloe kind of misses the point of the entire game. Being faced with the choice to sacrifice her is supposed to be so hard partially because we've spent all week seeing how much Chloe can grow. She's just started to heal, and now we're realizing that we might have to rewind it all back. It's a tragedy to sacrifice Chloe, and if the point of the game was "Chloe is a bad friend and Max needs to let her go," then the sacrifice Chloe ending would play out in much less devastating way.

So yeah I basically wrote three paragraphs to say "I agree with you deeply." Chloe isn't irredeemable but she is flawed and does need therapy. So do Max and Chloe really because they're codependency is on a whole different level, but still love them, though.