#and my rants will not be restrained no matter who I'm with

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

Not my half-brother "I've got a passenger so don't say anything about your mutant turtles you don't want them to know" like SIR THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT MUTANT TURTLES I DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW

[cynthiav06]

Question. do you think Percy should have stayed Single? Or ended up with somebody other than Annabeth? I Really think he should have stayed Single. Because I personally don't Like Percabeth, I don't Ship Percabeth and I don't Like Annabeth at all because of the way the Shippers act, or The way the characters themselves in Canon Act, like how Percy just does whatever Annabeth says, or how Percy is scared of Annabeth, Or how fans make it seem like Percy would become an Emo Edge Lord if something happened to Annabeth, Or How much she Belittles and Degrades him (I hate the nickname Seaweed brain), Especially since she acts like Percy cant do anything without her That moment when She and Reyna were talking about how ("Percy Couldn't find his way out of a Paper Bag without you")Made me SO mad it made me Dislike Annabeth even more and Dislike the Percabeth Ship as a Whole, I even hated when she Pretty much Restricted percy of using his powers You Know? "The sea doesn't like to be Restrained" well here it is.. being restrained...Exactly what it hates, and I hate how the Fandom makes Percabeth a Godly Ship saying they are the "It Couple" which they aren't and how They treat anyone who doesn't like Percabeth or Ships Percy with someone else other then Annabeth, but the one thing I HATE the most is how they make EVERYTHING percy Does Romantic for Annabeth like she's the only person who matters to him (Percy Only Remembering Annabeth (a Girl he's Known for only a couple years) Instead of The woman Who RAISED him by a goddess who isn't even the goddess of Love Made me SO MAD and Even when Annabeth made Percy remember when he was in the River Styx when it should have been his Mom made me mad) which is why I mostly believe that Percy Should have just stayed Single (I'm all for an Aromantic Percy) or At least Give him a Love interest who he can be Comfortable around and doesn't have to Constantly walk on Eggshells around her (I wished he Dated Rachel) or Hell Even make him Gay i've saw characters who have Better chemistry with Percy then Annabeth IMO but this all just my opinion.

You honestly don't know how long I could rant on this exact subject.

It's partly Annabeth's fault, and it's partly Rick's fault.

Anyone and everyone who has read the Pjo and HoO series should have noticed how illogical Percy's personality change was.

Percy Jackson, the hero of Olympus and the strongest demigod to ever live, sassy as can be, laid back but scary beyond measure if you cross him and an absolute menace to his enemies and loyal to death.

That's who he is, and Rick remembered that initially, and even till Son of Neptune then he just forgot how Percy someone he himself wrote to be this way is.

It's like Percy has no identity of his own, and he is only significant if he is with Annabeth. Like hello, he's the main character people, is the Fandom seriously going to degrade the main character, especially when the said mc is Percy Jackson???

Percy, despite his own issues, is and will always be foremost in helping people. He would be the first person to help keep the seven together. He would be the first to try and make a bond. He wouldn't have some stupid and illogical and totally ooc beef with Jason. Instead, he would help Jason be more sure of himself to stand up to Jupiter and for himself.

He would help Leo personally to bring back Calypso and they would both shit talk Olympians and how fickle their oaths are.

He would literally do anything to save Nico. Like hello, are you telling me that the boy who at 14 took it upon himself to bear the Great Prophecy, which he thought who end up killing him just to save Nico from that fate????? He would go absolutely madly feral to save Nico from the Giants.

If Piper and Reyna had their screws all properly fit they would see that Annabeth and literally everyone else would be all left to die if it wasn't for Percy. Percy gets himself out of everything by his own efforts and his own strategies. (Annabeth's rarely work). It's time the Fandom acknowledges that the best strategist in the verse is Percy, no questions asked and finally give him due credit for all HIS efforts.

Percy would never ever leave Sally unless it was for a quest, especially not when she was pregnant and absolutely not to go to college, something he hates especially when it concerns New Rome.

Here's a thing about Percabeth shippers they care about Annabeth's plans and her dreams, not Percy's. It is literally so out of character for Percy to want to live in New Rome a place that invests in a child army, a place that despises his father and wouldn't even build him a decent temple, a place so extremely cut off from the sea.

If Percy wanted to live in peace and grow old, he would do it in a place of his choosing close to his mother, Paul and Estelle, and close to the sea. But here's the thing about Percy.

I don't think people get this, but Percy can't just up and leave, nor would he want to. His damned fatal flaw is LOYALTY. He would never ever leave demigods or anyone helpless by leaving Camp Half Blood. Sure he would take less quests on but he would ALWAYS stick around and Rick did him so dirty by making all his thoughts revolve around Annabeth and insinuating he would let others suffer just fine to be with Annabeth.

Percy gave up immortality because he took Sally's teaching to heart as she did so too when she denied Poseidon's offer. He did it for himself for demigods it didn't have shit to do with Annabeth, but of course, he would look at her because she represents his life as a demigod.

Rick making Percy see Annabeth near the Styx and making him remember Annabeth instead of Sally is just him bullshitting. We all know Percy is a mama's boy, and he would do right by Sally always, so him giving a girl who he has known for barely long enough has no basis to it.

And Percabeth stans literally can't take a mention of a single alternate Percy pairing that alone is the biggest red flag. Because they know their ship is toxic and that Annabeth is the root of it.

For the PEOPLE IN THE BACK aka toxic stans:

Annabeth's fatal flaw is HUBRIS, and she is by nature controlling and condescending, and her character had the chance to GROW and CHANGE, and it would have been the most epic character growth sequel but she did not and she is CONTROLLING, DISMISSIVE , DEMEANING.

The newest Read Riordan entry literally has Annabeth saying that she needs to catch up to Percy cause he scores a better grade than her in school (even there Percy is smarter folks there you have it) and she literally says if she doesn't catch up Percy might start calling her SEAWEED BRAIN. So it is a demeaning nickname she gives Percy and continues calling him that even after knowing how Gabe similarly verbally abused Percy.

This is the fandom's IT couple? Wow. Percy literally is going against his own nature of being free and unrestrained like the sea because of Annabeth's controlling nature.

The worst of her behavior is when she blames Percy for his disappearance when she dismissed him when he was talking about his trauma induced by Gabe, her beyond toxic treatment of Rachel, especially when she unreasonably asked Percy to supress the use of the very power that got them out alive (she is scared naturally but she cannot force her own fear on Percy when he did nothing wrong).

So yeah, Percy Jackson with anyone but Annabeth. I am all for aromantic Percy, but personally, I find Perachel to be more appealing.

Trust me, I could rant about this for hours, especially how Rick butchered Percy's personality and made it full of Annabeth, especially how he threw Percy's insecurities and trauma and PTSD out of the gutter post tartarus.

[eowynstwin]

i have this fascination with price. hes sort of this unsulliable steel, consistently to nearly always making the (as the games frame it) correct decisions, even when hes playing fast and loose with the law. his plans always work, hes never truly failed in the sense of real negative consequences for a choice (until 3 but 3 was badly written and i did not like it). hes always (in the game's framing) right. he never shows a moment of weakness. i love him ❤ i want to see him suffer i want him to make an objectively wrong choice. i want that choice to have consequences that shake his steady foundations and rock him to his core. i want him to fail. is that weird? i want him to lose control of his carefully maintained stony exterior. i want to see that side of him that is barely acknowledged to be genuinely explored. i know people justify it by saying hes a military captain in a ridiculously tough branch to get into, so of course hes like that, but in real life those guys are just as human as the rest of us, just as capable of mistakes and taking fat Ls and making poor decisions. I do love his character, he is my blorbo, i just want to put him in a jar and shake him real hard. is that weird?

Deadass, when I heard what happens in mw3 (still haven't gotten around to watching it, I'm fond of my brain cells and I feel like it'll kill some of them)--my first thought was that they should've killed Price.

Price is always barely restraining himself but he manages to keep himself in check for the most part. I imagine he's learned the hard way that if he lets his feelings dictate his actions then a lot of people get hurt.

Gaz and Soap, however, do not have the benefit of his experience. Ghost does, but he doesn't wield authority like Price's, and I have the feeling that he believes the Price keeps him in check (in his origin comics, he has frequent nightmares in which he assaults and murders people, because he went through months of classical conditioning in captivity).

So, let's say Mak shoots Price dead instead. Suddenly there's no one there to guide the surviving 141. Suddenly the wealth of experience he had to offer, the instincts for warfare that he honed over decades, is gone. Gaz loses his mentor. Ghost loses the man who holds his leash. Soap loses the one commanding officer he had any faith in.

Can you feel how that would raise the stakes exponentially? Price's influence, throughout the reboot, has kept everyone in line. He knows how to break the rules effectively while minimizing the consequences. He knows how to ignore distractions. He is ruthlessly efficient, without being brutal. The other three just do not have those skills. They are not capable of doing what Price does. They have neither the experience (in Gaz and Soap's case) nor the disposition (in Ghost's case).

Price dying would send shockwaves through the 141--through the entire cast--in ways that Soap's death just does not. Soap should have been the one in Shepherd's office with a silenced gun, because assassinating a FUCKING FOUR STAR AMERICAN GENERAL IN THE PENTAGON!!!!! Is not what an experienced captain in the SAS would do, no matter how he feels!!!!!! That is what a sergeant with more aptitude than sense and an overwhelming feeling of rage and loss would do!!!!!!

Aaaaand this is a rant nearly completely unrelated to what you were talking about lol. Sorry. I do want to see that old man suffer don't get me wrong. It's just that the suffering he's been set up for now, in canon, is SO MUCH BULLSHIT.

[glitter-stained]

I'm always thinking about Jason because fixation so my judgement is biaised because every song I listen to makes me think about at least one of my Jasons, but here are some songs though were definitely written for and about canon Jason Todd, and I will take no criticism (but you are definitely welcome to add your own songs):

-Take me To War, by The Crane Wives

>"But I keep snapping at Goliath hands with all of my tiny might"/ "All of the fire I swallowed, all of the sparks that went down in my guts, I am always burning out"/ "I'll be the sweetest thing to ever scare you"

The Robin -> Red Hood transition is so seamless

-Little Soldiers by the Crane Wives

> "On the broken back of all the words we spared, Like little soldiers in the trenches; It was a march we made towards ruin and despair, But we held hands all the while"

I always rant about how how Jason's character and story is centered around love, this is the song that plays in my head while I'm yapping

-Blue Lips by Regina Spektor

> "He took a step but then felt tired, He said I'll rest a little while; but when he tried to walk again, he wasn't a child"

If you ever wanna be sad about Jason's resurrection, catatonia and stolen childhood, this is the song to listen to

-The Horrors and The Wild by The Amazing Devil

"Think of all the horrors that I promised I'd bring, I promise they'll sing of every Time you passed your fingers through my hair and called me child, Witness me old man I am the Wild"

> If Under The Red Hood has one song it's this one

-The Old Witch Sleep and The Good Man Grace by The Amazing Devil

"There's a fire burning/And I'm learning to be/So much more than my tiredness/ So much more than that old witch sleep wishes/ She kisses my eyelids, and I/Breathe"

> If Red Hood: Lost Days (minus the gross bits) has one song it's this one

-Elsa's song by The Amazing Devil

>"And you'll throw some sage and lillies/ And roses where I'll rot/ Of all the flowers you picked/I knew you would forget/ Forget-me-nots"

idk who Elsa is this is about how Jason was grieved but he wasn't remembered

(Yeah I'm pretty convinced that at least either Madeline Hyland or Joey Batey read Under the Red Hood so many of their songs fit so well I restrained myself to three but there are so many)

-A Burning Hill by Mitski

>"I'm tired of wanting more, I think I'm finally worn/ For you have a way of promising things/ And I've been a forest fire"

Jason admitting loss and giving up on begging Bruce is something that can be so personal actually

-Heaven Knows by The Pretty Reckless

>"Now you're on your knees with your head hung low/ Big Man tell you where to go/ Tell them it's good, tell them okay/Don't do a goddamn thing they say"

Crime Alley united!!! Also, "tell the big guy I said hello" :))) (the God/Batman amalgam in Death in the Family is such an incredible one-liner and works so well for Jason omg)

-For the Departed by Shayfer James

>"Now I must finished what I started/I'll write a symphony for the departed/And I have no time for second chances/ So I survive on bourbon blood and backward glances"

The amount of angst, dramatics and intense devotion to his cause at the cost of his life, the literature references, everything about this song? Jason at his angstiest for sure

-Goodbye by Bo Burnham

> "If I wake up in a house that's full of smoke I'll panic/So call me up and tell me a joke/ When I'm fully irrelevant and totally broken dammit/ Call me up and tell me a joke /Oh shit/ You're really joking at a time like this"

exploded warehouse parallel aside, this song feels like not being able to heal because you're not capable of asking for what you really need, wanting to come back but feeling like you aren't allowed to because it would ruin you or the you that was shaped by other's perception of you and most importantly, begging to matter and to have mattered. So. Jason.

[jazeswhbhaven]

With the whole Leviathan thing. I think is just his archetype is really popular with Japan.

Seeing another game that has a similar to what Leviathan is, and seeing the popularity of that characters type. It seems like, hard wall that has been build up and it takes time to get their walls to broke.

Plus, there's this unknown factor where you think that they are being an Asshole, but they actually have a reason behind their action.

One example I know is with the Character from Ikemen Prince, Chevalier is describe as (this is from the wiki)

True to his title, Chevalier is as ruthless and merciless as a cruel beast and is quick to cut down his enemies no matter who they are. He is indifferent to to almost everyone and doesn't spend much time interacting with people, and usually prefers to be alone. However, in his route after meeting the MC he somehow changes and began to get use to feeling certain emotions such as love, which he views as something unnecessary in the past.

Reading his route, you would imagine that people would not like him, however

2nd voting

Most of the voting, Chevalier always take 1st place.

Often times it just culture differences and people/majority have a preferences. We really can't do anything about it.

For me, often I like least popular characters or the most popular character cause I'm drawn to what I like, and with Chevalier and Leviathan they scratched a certain type I love.

And with MC, its a porn game. MC will be written as a blank slate with the motivation of being horny cause no reasonable person would act like this if you were surrounded with horny and feral devils that speak their mind with no filter or no restrained of their urges.

Like, if we put real life logic with some of the behavior, some of them will be questionable. But this is fictional game with their own logic. The game will do some kinky stuff that people like in their fiction.

Anyway, I wanted to share my 2 cent on Leviathan. I've have my problem with his character. And that fine, if he was just all nice with MC after the contract, that would have been too ooc for him.

Honestly, I like how his dynamic with MC in the main story now (ie. Chapter 6)

I'm glad you put this into words/visuals, because a lot of things I tend to say are usually said better by others. I recognize the character you mentioned because I did play a little bit of Ikemen Prince myself! When it comes to types, I can for sure agree that for myself, anyone with his or Levi's type is not my first pick. I also agree this could very well be cultural differences that come into play as well.

Though I do understand the why for Levi. Childhood robbed from him, experiments, other screwy things. I'd have walls too. In the comics though I see the other side of him that isn't so combative and that's why it's that love/hate thing I've got going on for him as a whole.

I'm unsure if anything I said may indicate that I'm taking his personality to heart, I'd like to clarify that I do not take it deeply that he's this way, it's more of empty rants lol he's nothing more than pixels with a smart mouth.

The way they have MC/Levi's dynamic for Chapter 6 has me satisfied too, I will not be bothered if they keep that up for the future chapters we get.

[abbinurmel]

I spent the past couple hours tailoring this aimless rant on YT, in response to a person merely saying how much they'd love for a reboot of 'Cow & Chicken' on adult swim, cos they could say whatever they like on there. I posted it here, cos YT doesn't wanna allow me to post anything right now, which is probably for the best.

This is gonna be a dumb rant. I got sucked down a rabbit hole, cos this is a favorite topic of mine to talk about and I'm procrastinating horribly on purpose on a lot of dull paperwork. So strap in before reading my garbage. You're warned now, don't hafta TLDR or whatever, thanks, I already know. …Anyways. For those who care about irrelevant, shitty opinions:…I love Cow & Chicken. A lot. On paper I know exactly why it seems like a great idea to reboot on 'adultswim', purely on the merit they do things more outrageously. I'm certain many would watch this. It's actually kinda weird there hasn't been one yet, when you think about it, given this age of rehashes. It already has the raunchy humor and gross art down, seems like a match made in heaven, right?- It'd be easy too, "Cow & Chicken" wasn't exactly lavishly drawn or had a big cast. Well… Much as I think there could be a slim possibility of it happening, for it to be good, and IF they do good, to be wildly entertaining…I don't think "Cow & Chicken" is going to ever get actually rebooted. And I don't think it benefits from being rebooted, either, which is really the only reason you should try to reboot things ever in the first place. The lore of an IP needs to benefit in being revisited, somehow, and ESPECIALLY, SPECIFICALLY, if brought back for adults. It is very unlikely gonna be executed right, ironically BECAUSE of this show's already semi-adult nature. And the reasons why, is endemic to why a whole lot of current modern shows, and movie/live action series remakes, are suffering too. -And no, it is NOT due to the reasons some of you're likely thinking of. It is NOT cos of any tired old: "things are just too safe and WOKE /PC culture now!" theories. (That sort of affair is highly subjective/means basically nothing or very different things to different people. Pretty impossible to gauge due to how all over the place/ludicrously out of touch with general fans censors and networks can be, no matter what their political leanings or personality is. Which can and do range all over the place. So I won't go into that topic as it's an entirely different problem to what I am talking about. Plus I was there for the 80s and 90s, its pretty silly to say we can not get away with any wild things these days, cos let me assure you, by comparison, there is a LOT technically more we CAN do and say now, in both kid's and adult shows, that would never get by in a million years 30 years ago. You couldn't even just say the word 'kill', 'poop' or 'die' then, most the time. Let that sink in.)

…See to me, if it ironically hadn't ever been restrained by censors/made for kids, C&C might've been NOWHERE as good. Like. At all. It might've actually been one of the worst CN shows aired. Just 100% annoying gross-out show laziness, like a lot of shows of its era. The main reason it didn't flop was cuz 1) duh, Charles Adler, the main voice, and 2) it did its 'thing' the way original 'Ren & Stimpy' did. It didn't beat for beat copy them. Their writing/visuals just simply knew how to cross the line JUST enough, keeping the raunchy humor tucked in JUST as far as they could push it, but knew also on the whole how to always stay utterly light hearted, simple and goofy. That's where its core identity is. It's the dumb blithe enthusiastic Innocence of pretty much the entire cast, and the goofy simplicity of the plots/gags, while they get to say out the side of the mouth much more 'mature' sinister things….It works purely b/c of that contrast; sometimes with innuendo being camoflauged extremely subtly, sometimes NOT subtly at all. -But it would always go ping-ponging gracefully between the two. Never too much Idiotically Innocent, or too Smugly Adult and Crass. It would do this, with actual wit. It didn't JUST have gross visuals or say dirty jokes. It did all this with a theatrical, self-known flair. Shows like C&C and its fellow Golden Age shows basically are very good at doing what franchises like Monty Python were known for, and what Regular Show and Gravity Falls and similar would do later on, just with more visual ugliness.

…Meanwhile, a lot of other 1990's/current shows DO NOT have this memo. They do not have that balance, they lack the awareness of what is the difference between 'sneaking in occasional very dirty jokes with wit' and "throwing every and any kinda joke at a wall and not even bothering to look at what sticks." A LOT of 'gritty comedy parody reboot' things are doing this, and also doing this same idea just with the "dramatic tropes" instead of comedic tropes too. ….Including Ren & Stimpy itself. -Once 'The Ren & Stimpy Show' moved to SpikeTV, they went fully 'adult', and by direct result went 1000% downhill. I don't ascribe that to just poor writing(the original has flat stupid writing too), or ugly looking animation (so is the original). Not even John K.'s…ahem, history. If you fixed his behavior, and abusive attitude; made all his notoriously horrible bad jokes tamer, I still think 'Adult Party' would've tanked, because doing this concept in of itself is a fool's errand. It's not just rebooting nostalgic childhood IPs that's the problem, but specifically attempting to repackage something that was already a mild bit 'tawdry', so now that it is INTENTIONALLY for adults only. Whenever the entertainment industry does that 'gritty effect', be it games or movies or Netflix or comic books, it's 8/10 doomed, because you essentially neutered the core joke or appeal. You've taken away the cool 'taboo' point of saying hidden naughty/clever things, in a story you're not SUPPOSED to. You're able to state and do whatever you want, and so there's not only no leash to hold down any of the weaker ideas, there's almost no "rebellious challenge" to its bite whatsoever, even when those jokes/story ideas succeed. Noone is gonna be shocked or laugh nearly as much when a Red Guy says "KISS MY ASS!" unironically in an adultswim show, as they would if he says "KISS MY ASS!!!!!!….-Her name is GERTRUDE! :D" -and then happily pulls onstage a donkey wearing a big bowtie in on a rope, because this renders it now a pun and technically 'child safe' to flaunt now. (This isn't a real joke from the show btw, I'm only making this up for convenience. But you get the idea. It's the precise sort of silly thing you know he'll do. :P )

Neither the audience nor execs are 'prey' anymore for the writers to be creatively poking the boundaries with, when you remove that expectation. It's different if your IP started with an already adult geared story to begin with, but, when it's a full on polar opposite shift in tone and/or age demographics like that, it's almost always pulled off in a confused messy way, because even the original work's creators themselves, (IF they're even kept around, or are familiar with the source material if they are new), are trapped now in completely unfamiliar territory. Without a deeply wild reinventing of the show's lore or main tenets(a thing which nobody has ever been upset by on the internet!), it usually doesn't have anything else to stand on, especially with a purely episodic comedy show, like Cow and Chicken is. Once you take out this 'vulnerability' in our dynamic, between child/censor guardians, and writers, this main core joke of not knowing what the writers are and are NOT actually going to get away with is gone, and so much of the stakes now is irreversibly lost. Sometimes being hidden from the details is what makes a gag all the more funnier, or a scary scene all the scarier, or a cringe scene all the cringier. If we take away this, things lack a lot more of the colorful shock & ridiculousness. The main DNA in these classic "deranged shows", like Ed, Edd n Eddy, Ren&Stimpy, Rocko and C&C, that a lot of nostalgic fans, and current show-runners often alike forget; is the simple fact that such shows had to weigh the balance of: 'being a sincere kid show' and 'trying to get away with something they're not supposed to'. …With very deep emphasis on the words: "GET AWAY WITH". To me, a show is not getting "away" with something good, be it a message, a joke, a deeper sense of drama, if you constantly always spell it out for us, and we know you lose nothing and have to take no creative risk by displaying it for the audience. You're not really earning a prize, if someone just right at the start, hands you a medal. In other words….Every good memorable/subversive classic cartoon show, is not beloved just because they got to have crazy visuals, or say and do unhinged jokes. …You needed to be MEMORABLY STRANGER for having those qualities, in the first place. If you do something unhinged and bizarre, but coming in I expect to see it, is it really an unhinged show?

See, there's a reason why most of the frequent reboots of Scooby Doo like 'Velma' atrociously fail. And it's not because they changed someone that was formerly white, or made someone like Shaggy have a different name, or backstory. Or even because they overhauled an old wholesome character into a rude, toxically mean, judgemental unpleasant character. Yes this does affect some tastes, but on the whole, that wasn't the core problem for most watchers. LOADS of shows have a morally awful, pompous, or an incompetent, chaotic mess for a central protagonist, or reinvent them in some way if they come from an old property. Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law, and Space Ghost Coast to Coast did more or less exactly what "Velma" does, where they took an old IP and completely transformed their roles/upgraded their style of humor for a more adult audience. Rick & Morty has a toxic main protagonist. South Park has four of them. Family Guy and American Dad has them, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, the list goes on. Even kid shows do this, and sometimes get away with it well too: Dan Versus did it well so did Ren and Stimpy, again, back when it understood how it worked. Having a mean protag or changed fundamentals, isn't why so many reboots don't work. …What happens with bad modern remakes of Scooby Doo, (and not just in shows like Velma), is often that they forget how to make things have that beautiful sense of contrast, that Cow and Chicken does, in its writing. They do not know how to both show this is a show rooted in something sincere, WHILE ALSO saying outrageously dirty/surreal/mean/pompous or dark things inside that vessel. The appreciation for the context of its background, is what makes shows like 'Mystery Inc.' and 'Zombie Island' work, while Velma and other SBs, do not. If we took Cow & Chicken, stripped it of it's irony, what else do we have except yet another dime a dozen weaker show, constantly going 'haha, me say the rude words!/do the gross bad thing again!' adult oriented show, with no fangs? Another exhausting reboot, which takes yet another unoriginal idea, robs its reputation, and wastes our time? …There's a way to do this kind of thing right. I just do not think most people, not even some of the most talented in the business, have the freedom or ability to do so. Not even Samurai Jack, a legend of an animated program, escaped this 'update it for adults!' treatment unscathed. If you're gonna update something for adults, you really have to think about WHY it was good in the first place. Not take just what you had, and stamp lots of expletetives or flashes of red to indicate actual blood on there. You need either to actually SAY something, completely useful and different, or, just stick to your guns with the old formula, and do it so well it exceeds the hype for the original. Which is also near being impossible to do. Hence, it begs the question, why do it at all?

…Sorry for this TEDTalk, I just love being an absurd mess at 2AM when I have better more boring adult things to do.

[autisticviking]

🌤 — ello there. how about you tell me more about Yuzhao cause i like him??

I- I'm... Give me a second

**Sobs in the corner cause people actually like my little guy.**

BUT SERIOUSLY I'M ABOUT TO GOT ON ONE HELL OF A RANT RN ABOUT HIS BACKSTORY

Any outsider cannot find the cavern unless lead by someone who knows where it is, not that they can't access it, they just can't find it, and no one knows about it.

So basically as I said Yuzhao is mad inspired by Wukong, more specifically JTW Wukong, but also a sprinkle of LMK Wukong.

His origins? No one knows, he doesn't remember the day he was born, all that he remembers was that he was there, in that cavern under the world.

It's called the 1.5 Realm, basically it's a whole cavern that covers the entirety of Ninjago, it's big enough to be considered a realm of it's own (yes yes, applaud my worldbuilding capabilties)

There's those creatures called Roamers, because well, they roam the cavern, each with their very own surreal and unique capabilities, but they have one thing in common : they're all merciless, and they're vode is simple : eat or be eaten.

And there Yuzhao was born! He was like every other Roamer, while he did look very similar to a human (exept for features like fangs, sharp eyes, little details that he usually hide), he was actually strong, like HELLA strong, even as a baby, he likely age where most roamers die, he was already kicking ass, by the time he was a teenager he was the strongest.

I wanted to point all of this out to help with how he was in the beginning, arrogant, selfish, someone who didn't realize just how much suffering he was bringing, nor did he care, a mentality close to Sukuna from JJK, cruel, but simple.

Remember what I said about outsiders being unable to find or enter the cavern? Well same goes for Roamers, they can't find the exit no matter how much they search, it kinda works like the mist from Percy Jackson, it's not like there's something physically stopping their mind cannot comprehend and thus notice the exit

But like in PJ, some people can see through that mist, Yuzhao was one of them and guess what he found the exit. So up in Ninjago he goes.

He learned human tongue and all, quickly adapting, dude just said "fuck it we ball" and began doing whatever the fuck he wanted to do, with no regard for anyone or consciousness of the gravity of his situation.

For a long while he thought he was the strongest, until some villager whose village he just destroyed told him "Wait until the FSM finds you! He'll beat you!"

Bored he decided to go see who that FSM, and low and behold, FSM beat him without laying a single hand on him, he beat the man who could destroy mountains.

So bro was mad, very mad, he was the strongest! It was impossible! There was no way he was being beaten!

So there goes 1000000 murder attempts while FSM was just patiently sitting there, beating him at each turn, when the Half-Oni eventually discovered what Yuzhao did, he kinda enslaved (though he preferred to call it "restrain his power") Yuzhao, which only infuriated Yuzhao more and kept trying to murder him or someone, bring back the chaos he loved but he couldn't.

For a long while, FSM kept forcing Yuzhao to be sorta decent with people, and on one occasion where he saved a little girl from a Serpentine, he started to change.

What was before a very angry, cocky, destructive, selfish, monstruous jerk, became a more bitter and sarcastic man, who still had previous habits but was somewhat kind and had values.

The bitterness was mostly because he refused to believed that anyone could tame him, and it took years for him to finally stop trying to murder FSM.

Eventually, with time, he began getting used to FSM, and even grow fond of him, the peacefulness that once disgusted him comforted him, he became close friends with him, so he went from bitter and sarcastic, to smug bastard sarcastic.

I'd like to think that he spent centuries with FSM (yes it took that long to change him), and that Wu and Garmadon remember him from his bitter and sarcastic yet angry phase, which is why they are so suspicious of him, they do not remember him softening up to his now more laid-back self, since it didn't last long.

However all the destruction he made came back to him, he couldn't just get away with it, at least that's what the dragons thought, they told FSM that he'd eventually get corrupted with the Oni, FSM didn't believe them, but when he discovered that Yuzhao became friends with an Oni (who may or may not come back), it caused a conflict, one that ended with Yuzhao trapped. Under the mountain, until the villaisn freed him and you know the rest of the story.

LONG STORY SHORT

Yuzhao was born as an extremely strong individual in an enveronnement where the strongest thrive, he eventually got away from the cavern to the outside world.

Arrogant and a merciless from the years of ruling over people with pure strength, he began to wreck havoc whenever he pleased.

Heard of FSM one day and decided to meet him, get beaten easily, and thus kept teying to mutiply kill FSM, who, after learning of Yuzhao's actions, restrained the man's power to a more mortal-like scale.

Centuries pass and he becomes bitter and sarcastic, still angry but way less than before, not wanting to admit that he was capable of kindess and somewhat tamed by the great FSM.

More centuries pass and he finally softens up, accepting kindess and becoming close friends with FSM, though the dragons did not believe of his change of heart, the dragons warned FSM that Yuzhao would get corrupet by the Onis, he didn't believe yhem but when he discovered that the Roamer had befriended an Oni, conflict enssued and Yuzhao was trapped under the mountain, until ofc he was freed but then you know the rest of the story.

I still have SO MUCH MORE to say abt him but this is longe nough lol

[nie-rants]

2nd October 2023

A captured thief's tale.

Hello lads lads and loes (loes???😕) Living whores (what the???) I mean it's okay to be a whore as long as you not deliberately maliciously messing with someone's lives Whore lives matter!! (...) Let the whores live!! (now dear what's this about, the rant I mean the reason you're here) Oh yeah,😄 well first things first today's moi's birthday.(yay✨ me✨🎉) one year older every 2nd October (congrats honey🎉) uhm, thanks 😳. Anywho onto greater things, my last rant turned into my sob story extinensial crisis as a struggling queer in a extremely homophobic, traditional, "modern minded" country and how will I never find love. (With myself and others) And big news I think your girl might be bisexual, your girl also told someone outside her head and miss author said news (I'm proud of you nie🙂) 😳 but brighter things as I say I don't even remember when the last post was out up so miss editor and I decided to put dates at the top of the posts (I'm the editor can't believe that didn't come up earlier, I'm sorry guys) You were busy it wasn't your fault so stop it. Besides you suggested it before and like you always say what's done is done, Kay?? (Mmmm) so anyway I decided to add my struggles as a stuggling queer in a struggling country as a bit of a common thing. It wasn't intentional at first but then I decided to just do it since all my drafts addressed the issue in one form or the other.

Today I was like coming back home like at 7:30-ish from work, strolling cause I'm broke and my money isn't for ise unless I'm dying and my headphones broke so... While we're walking there's a thief and people are chasing said thief into a busy street (very busy for those of y'all who don't know nie lives in a border town of the country) yeah so like there are plenty of trucks that move along that road like big heavy petroleum tanks. And that road's been known as a black spot (an area where accidents commonly occur) and so you've gotta be extremely careful anywhere in it's vicinity even the pedestrian path. Back to the thief this guy ran straight into that traffic in hopes of escaping those in his pursuit but when that didn't work out (his pursuers also ran into the traffic) he went back to the pedestrian path but he was eventually caught. And as with all thieves caught here (as in her, nie's country) the norm is for the application of job justice. Mob Justice is common here in my country and most prefer it for someone caught red handed. Typically thieves were restrained and put through a tyre, poured on petrol and burnt alive. Yep you're hearing it right burnt alive, for stealing which is bad because the cause of this punishment (like that thing you were caught stealing) is often unknown to even your executors once you've been deemed a thief you have no chance of defense you can try to run to the police for help which is unlikely since (you're probably not Hussein Bolt) yeah it's like these people unleash their inner flash to get you, it's probably the end for you no matter your age (it's a pretty savage country no matter the pretty and pathetic picture it presents) but a few years back this had stopped. The mob justice executions had been getting out of hand so the heavy military hand had been applied. And in this instance today I assumed they would just grab the dude rough him up alittle and take him to the station which happened to be few blocks away. That's... not what happened, these guys didn't rough him up a little they started hitting him with the intention to KILL as I saw it at least. I voiced this out to my companions I was walking home withand they pretty much confirm that's the intention, one of the people mostly the crowd that had been assaulting the thief had been men, young and middle aged alike with the older ones unable to participate urging them on. To hit harder like what??? So like we keep moving cause the crowds started getting more hostile and no one wants to get caught in the crossfire but long story short this is fucked up.

This rant is so long so there will obviously be a part two to talk more by the subject because I'm definitely not done

Editors note: (Also forgive any of my mistakes my exams are around the corner so I'm kind of in a study break while I'm editing this)

To be continued... It's 10:47pm I'm tired I'll post part two soon bye. (Goodnight form miss editor)

[whining-ylthin]

My guess (based on personal experience) is that a lot of people in 40K shipper/40K Tumblr circles got into the setting through Text-To-Speech Device, and as a result they focus more on the character they grew to love through that show over anyone else and get hung up on the biggest positives - in this case McNeill's tender descriptions of Magnus (I swear he gets a different lavish outfit/hairdo in every scene he's in) and/or Ahriman (who's a major PoV character in ATS, the perfect kind of sopping wet little meow-meow for Tumblr users, and who gets some very... loving descriptions, too). The sleaziest parts in ATS are relegated to secondary (other TSons captains) or "less interesting" (Remembrancers) characters, and a lot of people sadly internalize some really toxic stuff so deeply they don't register something is wrong at first, or it only leaves a faint sense of unease that's hard to pin down and put into words. I managed to pick up on some sketchy stuff around Hathor (probably because I paid more attention to him - I'm a biology grad, so the idea of a Thousand Sons biomancer instantly made me weak in the knees), and felt a little off about Lemuel during my first read, but didn't pay too much attention to it because MAGNUS, and oooh Ahriman, and oh god oh fuck why is this prose so purple, my non-native brain hurts, I should have chosen something different for my first-ever English novel, is all English prose this hard to parse or am I this daft--

Over time it started to rub me the wrong way more and more though, and coming back to the book just one year later, a little wiser and more experienced with BL's style guidelines of "make every paragraph so obnoxiously fluffed up it makes my ranting Tumblr posts flow like silk by comparison", I ended up putting it down within 25 pages while seething so hard I risked screaming in a Discord server for 30 minutes straight again, and goddamnit, I'm kind of doing this right now again. Granted, it was due to a major personal trigger getting tripped (the expectation for women/AFAB peeps to be meek, soft, polite and submissive, how not conforming to it will get you psychologically beaten into submission and/or ostracized, and conforming is just as likely to bring sympathy as it is abuse), but I know for a fact it's a broader problem - it just goes unnoticed because of how normalized it is, even for people who are directly affected.

I haven't touched too much from McNeill in the meantime, but other people confirmed I wasn't off with my feelings here or in general. Reading "False Gods" made me crave the sweet release of death (it scores a full McNeill bingo board of lowkey queerphobia, fascist dogwhistles, misogyny masquerading as "allyship" and disgusting shit written purely for shock value), but "Storm of Iron" was... oddly restrained? The sole major female character is a little dry (as are most characters in that book) but not treated with any particular prejudice and for once not subjected to sleazy remarks from a blatant writer stand-in. Then again, I'm acutely aware of Daemonculaba and "Fulgrim" reportedly drops the ball so hard the floorboards cave in.

Overall McNeill is just... frustrating. I can sympathize with what I'm picking up on in his writing to a degree - growing up in a more or less conservative middle-class environment and bisexual closet can be a special kind of glass-walled hell no matter if it's the 80s/90s or 2000s/2010s - but I'm also not going to play a devil's advocate for a grown-ass man and his writing/editorial buddies repeatedly failing to bring in sensitivity readers or catch up on basic feminist theory as old as their white nerdy British asses while doing victory laps and patting themselves on the backs over their "inclusivity" and "respect for women" because they have a female character who's only looked at like a fuckable cut of meat and not physically treated as one.

Wait, with McNeill you refer to the "Exorcism by Anal" scene? Are we sure he didn't just write that because he was super horny?

He wrote about Magnus like he did because he was super horny, I mean goddamn. After reading McNeill’s Magnus pieces I wanted to bang Magnus a little.

No, the way he writes about Fulgrim and the EC is more uh. Antagonistic, let’s say.

[stormblessed95]

I feel a bit bad for opening that particular can of worms again: Is there a common denominator for what counts as being an "insecure Jikooker"? Because I think I am/was one. And I'm now going on a little rant about myself and my own problems with heteronormativity. Why I do think I am/was one: As soon as there was even one little bit of information that could - possibly, maybe, but who knows - point to them not being romantically involved, I became insecure (not within the context of other ships, though. That would be even worse). I so often had the urge to write Asks about some of these moments but I restrained myself (okay, I did send some of them to f.e. whysojiminimnida, kanmom51 and you. Sorry). I spend some time reflecting on this. And now I think it's kind of ridiculous. Because: a) I don't really know them, so who knows what they're doing/feeling. At the end of the day all I'm doing is projecting b) one word: heteronormativity The last one really stings. Because I don't identify as heterosexual, yet here I am recreating heteronormativity. It's like for heterosexual relationships I'm validating, whereas for non-heterosexual relationships I'm falsifying (the latter meaning as soon as I am confronted with even one tidbit of information, that could possibly point to them not being together, I'm like "oh, so I guess all that heap of evidence that suggests otherwise means nothing then. My bad."). I measure with double standards. And that is so, so, so, so, sooooooo problematic. And I know it. Yet, sometimes, during my weak moments, I still do it. I spend a lot of time reflecting on heteronormativity and finding ways to get rid of it. And reading wholesome Jikookers blogs like yours truly helped a lot with educating myself. Again, thanks so much to all of you wholesome Jikook blogs for not only talking about ships, but taking it as an opportunity to talk about queer topics. Because this is what should stick during all those conversations: not only trying to definitively proof a relationship we have no agency over. But taking it as an opportunity to dive deep into queerness in all it's shapes and colors. Back to my own little demon: At the end of the day, even if I have the best of intentions at heart, internalized heteronormativity still sometimes rears it's ugly head, especially when I am feeling insecure. And it would be naive to think I am now totally free of it. So for me getting rid of that internalized thinking is still a process. I'm on it. Fighting! So in the context of the all of the above mentioned, it doesn't matter whether Jikook are together or not. At the end of the day, their bond helped me uncover my problematic way of thinking. And I see this as an absolute win. Oh and on a less serious note: Vegas also helped getting rid of my insecurity. Because what the actual fuck was happening there...I'm still reeling.

Hi, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us!

I think it's also important to recognize that there is a difference in being chronically insecure and that Jimin getting into a car with RM makes you think, jikook in a relationship is impossible, or JK teaching Jimin a new trick with Bam makes jikook being in a relationship impossible, or JK sitting in Taes lap or posting a photo with him on Instagram, means that jikook are distant now or broke up. Thats... not good. But questioning things occasionally, making sure you aren't being blind to the things they say or do otherwise, that's okay. Deciding that Jikook are boyfriends and deciding to believe that above anything else, taken too far can be just as damaging of a place to be. Jikook haven't given us anything to really doubt my thoughts, but refusing to see things is they do come is how we get into cultist category. Aka "I believe taekook are boyfriends no matter what." And then regardless of that ship being told directly they are not real, they don't care because "I have eyes." You don't want to end up there either. Lol it's a balancing act that again, just comes down to boundaries.

And heteronormativity is so engrained into society. It's what we are taught growing up. Most, if not all, queer people have their own unlearned processes to go thorough when it comes to heteronormativity as well. I've actually seen many takes here on tumblr from queer jikookers where they play into some heteronormative takes without ill intent. It's a process. We can all continue to learn and grow. It takes work. We all have our own things and ideas that we were taught, indirectly or otherwise, that we are now realizing is not quite right. Unlearning harmful ideals can often times be Harder than learning them in the first place. Be patient and kind with yourself. 💜💜💜

Thanks again for sharing! And everyone's asks are always welcome. 💜💜💜

[undergrounddweller89]

Something else I wanna point out, again yes I know handsome Jack did a lot of really bad awful crap, but no character in Borderlands 2 is clean of doing something terrible, Jack's just put under a spot light where we get to study his actions and judge.

But like he didn't have to call you, tell tell you he had to restrain angel, what do people do when they're afraid of someone who could easily kill, she was a kid with powers she couldn't control and had just accidently killed her mother.

He had no one and some of this discussion has come from talking with @villainousqueenofhel , he was still more closer to John at the time, he did what he thought he at the time was right, he was probably afraid she'd kill him to, but he didn't wanna lose her.

Who the hell would be okay with suddenly becoming a widower and single father and it's because your child is acting on pure emotion out of fear, you can't reason with a screaming crying child until they calm down.

Im probably mixing some stuff into this rant from that one side mission in Bl3 and stuff from the pre sequel, god the portrayal of John's complete descent into the madness of (king) Jack mwah chefs kiss beautiful acting, that end speech from Jack fffff, Dameon that's just beautiful work there , just like his god damn hero speech.

Anyway back to my rambling , again none of the characters in bl2 are good , think about it you're like Jack you want to be the hero of this story as you play....killing shooting destroying, helping with clan wars...sure there's optional missions results but that's you getting to choose your own morals or you're going with the one that gets you the better gun cause Come on who the hell hasn't looked up who they should give it to for the better weapon.

But I just think it's interesting he calls your vault hunter, he wants you to understand, like in some way your opinion matters, like he's not proud of it and he's somewhat ashamed that he had to, of course the madness maybe he even saw it as them working on a project together....I do YES remember that he has that pissy fit about wanting the warrior now before someone tries to point that out.

Jack was absolutely not okay , he absolutely was toxic alot of the time but considering fucking circumstances, he was a prisoner of it, it's that whole inexcusable understandable thing again and no not everyone turns out like that but people handle things differently and not always for the better.

We don't know if he ever went back and apologized to her after that message, it's a piece that for all your Vault hunter knows has been completely taken out of context.

Jack Hates traitors, will fucking end them , but as you're helping Angel end her life, he's practically screaming who gives a crap about the key just leave her alone, gonna kill an innocent girl, tells angel he'll forgive her...

And then to the discussion pretty much about how the nearest fast travel is like at thousand cuts, she could have been blocking the signal or he could have been frantically fighting slabs or what ever to get there with loader bots in tail as he runs or makes his way there who knows might have even stolen a buzzard to get there .

Angel who's never had to live in the real world, who's watched through cameras and listening devices, Jack didn't know how to help her , at first the containment may have even been because he didn't know what to do but as time went on it twisted into having her help him charge the key, in his delusion who's to say he didn't see it like them working on a work project together, perhaps it's a stretch but it's also a possibility right?

But anyway she uses the word friend as much of a manipulation tactic as much as Jack would use it no doubt, she wants you to promise her that you'll kill him.

Now yes could be just because she hates him for everything, that's completely valid, I'm open to all interpretations.

Buuuuut what if she knew how sick he was, like the madness, the torment in him, the pain he thought he was hiding that only your child ever seems to notice of they see you enough, personally I can usually tell if my mums tired, sad or angry just from a sigh...so like yeah...you know small things, maybe she even partially wanted him to be free of everything...Jack was beyond help by the end of Borderlands 2 that there was no other way it could have ended.

He was never going to want help he couldn't trust anyone.... honestly considering pre sequel like three people just straight up betrayed him in one go.. Moxxie talks about kicking his plastic surgery ass to the curb.... um yeah one , Lilith half blinded him and severely fucked up his face , bitch you'd have work done to if it happened to your tits.... anyway my brain is just jumping everywhere this was supposed to be a post on the fact Jack actually wants to defend himself to you.

But in bl3 moxxie is all oh I was with him before he was Rich and it's like right but you wanted him to cash roll your casino, you're a serial cheater, plus when you want that casino the man has been dead seven years get over it sugar (it's perfectly fine if you like or love her btw these are just personal opinions) we all like to talk about Timothy probably being the one to be the one with the banging sex life , maybe that's just one of the things about Jack when he's actually in a relationship he keeps it to that one person.

Or he used to...him and Nisha were probably very complicated, or she laid down the rules of that relationship and was honest about the fact she'd fuck someone if she felt like it and that it was because she was honest and didn't lie , she wasn't always there Jack was busy he got it and handled it.

Jack never actually lies to you, for all his shittery he doesn't lie , even in the animal preserve he's like Why lie to them they know we're gonna mutate the hell out of them... okay I think I've rambles enough, all this shit just keeps going around in my head There's probably other things I've missed like how Jack said he was going to let the Merrif live but he had to kill him or he was gonna get killed.

And how it was the fact people kept betraying or trying to shoot him in the back when he tried to show mercy that he learned to never trust anyone and stuff...

Just like don't come on here though okay and be hating on me just because I find Jack's character interesting.

Yes he's trash I know but he's definitely complicated , fascinating, and definitely at times funny trash , still love him as a character though and filling in gaps with all these thoughts.

Anyway don' be a dick...Kay , if you don't like it just keep on scrolling.

[piracytheorist]

*climbing through your window* AND ANOTHER THING--

I just idk appreciate Ethan not seeming angry when dealing with Evie? Just restraining her and supporting Rose to get through her area?

AND IN THE END!!!! no stoic acting father, or trying to look strong for his daughter, or wise words before his end, nope!! BOTH OF THEM bawling in front of each other, and Ethan trying to condense all he feels for his Rose in the few seconds they have left ;_;

((Many thanks again for letting me rant so many times in your inbox, frend. -laa))

Yeah... I was super mad when Eveline invaded the Winters house, like when she appeared behind Rose I was screaming internally "SHUT UP LEAVE HER ALONE!!" but then Rose even seemed a little sympathetic towards Eveline, like when Eveline was on her knees crying, Rose just looked at her like she was feeling sad for her. Considering the game doesn't give you an option to kill her, only stop her long enough to escape, I think we're just meant to see how damaged she is, not hate her. Though I am mad she dragged Rose away just as she was all emo from reading her dad's letter. Like I know you've been through hell but timing, dude! But yeah I get the feeling that Author's Intent is to understand that we as the audience are not meant to hate her. And maybe even having Ethan, who has every right to feel that Eveline personally ruined his life, not go out with the intent to kill her, is meant to emphasize that point.

And once again I'm super grateful they didn't hesitate to show both Ethan's and Rose's emotional sides, like I was grateful they didn't shy away from showing both Ethan and Mia as traumatized in the main game. It's one of the reasons I even loved Ethan in the first place, stoic and cool characters are not my thing, instead I love it when characters get emotional and act it all out. Openly crying and expressing their love for each other, Ethan saying he's sorry he cost Rose her chance to remove her powers, when all he was trying all along was to help her through; Rose telling him it was her choice because she preferred that over not getting a moment to talk to him, because it's what mattered to her, it's what helped her accept herself, that she's okay; ETHAN TELLING HER HE'S PROUD OF HER LIKE I SWEAR THOSE LINES AND THEIR DELIVERY HAVE CARVED THEMSELVES ONTO MY HEART! Rose taking his hand in hers to rest it against her face! The I Love You's! It was unabashedly emotional and it was hardcore from an emotional standpoint because it left us a crying, inconsolable mess T_T

My inbox is always open and waiting for your rants, I love them and I love talking to you! I always smile when I see I got a message from you so seriously, rant away all day <3

[bokettochild]

small rant warning, very personal, I'm just processing

The actual heck? The heck? The heckity heck?

Okay, so I just read the Autistic Legend headcannons and...I'm.....confused? That's autistic behavior? I grew up with two autistic kids and a dad and sister who my mom defines as having 'aspergers', and I had no clue?

My mom claims to be able to identify autism and whatnot with ease after working with children for 30+ years, but I'm beginning to doubt it because more and more I have been running into information from autistic people themselves, and not doctors or neuro-typical folks, and...I'm....relating to it? And she's never said anything?

Like, the autistic Legend headcannons for instance.

Food. I don't eat well. I always thought it was because I have had mouth surgery twice, once so I could breath properly because apparently my tonsils were so big the doctors were surprised I could breath at all while lying down, and a second time to bore a hole through my jaw so a tooth would actually come down. Anyways, the second one was sort of recent, just a year ago, and since then eating has been trickier. I always was told I was super picky, although that might be true? I can't eat beans because the texture makes me sick, but cornmeal based things are something I just can't handle. There's other things, mostly just spicy foods or heavily seasoned things, but as of late, most breads and meats are on the list too. I mean, I can eat them, but making myself do so can range from just a bit of worry to straight up trying to force it while my throat closes.

Stims. The cracking knuckles and messing with hair hit me in the gut because I do that a lot! I pop my knuckles whenever I'm nervous or have nothing to do with myself, that or roll my neck. But if I have to sit still a long time and listen to something or read or get caught trying to focus, I've always had an issue with scratching. Like, my head, my hands. I used to make both bleed because while it didn't necessarily feel good, it was satisfying in a weird way and helped me handle school stress and stuff better.

Clothes. I grew up wearing different clothes each day but honestly choosing them is a chore and if I could I'd fall back to my go to flannel shirt, maybe a tank top, and a pair of pants. the flannel is big and comfy and warm, and makes me feel safe. It's sort of like a boyfriend's sweater? But minus the boyfriend. I bought the biggest men's size they had in store and while I'm not drowning in it, it makes me feel better because I can pretend or imagine I'm borrowing a loved one's clothes, which helps a lot when I'm feeling lonely and/or touch starved (aka most of the time). But yeah, could I get away with wearing stuff like this all the time I would? Just, I like looking nice, but this outfit doesn't bother my skin the way lots of other clothes do. Most clothes feel a bit restraining or heavy or too much or too tight or just wrong. Like, I look good, but someone's always got something to say, and at least with my flannel there's no question about stuff. I'm being lazy, I know it doesn't look nice, it doesn't matter how it fits because it's too big to tell what I look like beneath (for the most part, i'm still female), in fact it even makes me look smaller (my mom's always on us about looking fat and/or pregnant despite the fact we've all just got naturally wider set skeletons). I just- having a set of clothes that's your go to to avoid making choices of other clothes?

Honestly, I have no clue how much of this is actually ND stuff, I'm just referencing that headcannon list.

Does a hatred of socks and shoes count? Does hating have the blankets over your feet count? Does a hatred of gloves count? We live near the mountains, it gets freaking cold, but I don't like hand/foot cages, even if I know I need them because otherwise I could get really sick (that and my skin cracks and bleeds with humidity and harsh winds, never mind the cold)

Yelling. The yelling thing hit. I can't handle volume anyway, my hearing is shit. That said, I randomly just...need to huff? I exclaim when reading stuff, even if it's just me. I babble at characters and I huff and exclaim and shout and I thought it was just a reading thing but sometimes it happens when I'm thinking too? Or just...I need to make sounds?

And then there's the muttering. I think better aloud. I will walk circles and think out loud, and have done so. I wore a small circular track into the ground behind our barn because I would tell myself stories as a coping mechanism and just rant or chatter things out to myself. My mom fusses about it and tells me to stop because "it's disturbing and you know what our families mental health history looks like!" which yeah, her whole family are a bunch of wackadoos; like, yes they have mental illness, but they're also just, as she says, scary. Like, abusive, insane, and in one case, potentially possessed.

So I get it, but also, I'm just talking to myself? It helps me process. There aren't people who want to hear my ideas and I've been laughed at enough to know not to chatter around other people, so I talk to me, because while I may judge, I will always offer constructive criticism and if I laugh I'm laughing with myself. So yeah, I chatter at myself and I murmur under my breath and I read well if I'm doing so aloud.

And I hum. I need music. It's less of a thing outside the house, but when home, if I'm not doing something with another person that requires chatter, I need music. I can function without it, but it helps. I know it's mostly so I can filter the chatter and the noise of the house, because tuning into that 24/7 is painful for my poor brain since it never stops. My mom can come down any time of day or night and clatter outside my door in her schoolroom/office, and there's almost always something going on. Tuning into all current emotions, conversations, footsteps and whatnot is frustrating and music offers a break. But it also just....occupies the brain?

The gestures thing hit too. I know I'm supposed to motion and so I motion a lot. I talk a lot with my body, and my sisters have repeatedly pointed out my tendency to "pose". I pose all the time. I'm constantly aware of eyes and while I might not always be sitting pretty or whatever, I know exactly what my pose means at any given time and will adjust accordingly in order to...I don't know.... seem normal? Follow rules? I have no clue why I do it anymore, I just know I do it and I can't remember not doing so. They're not even crazy poses! I'm just good at controlling my body most times?

And then there's the explaining thing that was mentioned. I'm....not very smart. I write and I create but science is a pain to me, and while math can be a fun puzzle to solve, it is also not my strength. I'm also just not good with practical stuff. Politics is confusing, people are confusing, medical whatnot and finance and whatnot are confusing, and whenever anyone talks to me about anything outside of creative pursuits I feel like a blasted idiot and just want to cry because I have so much trouble understanding. And for this reason, whenever I talk about anything at all, I feel the need to over-explain everything because I have no clue how much anyone might or might not understand about what I'm saying, and I want them to understand and not be confused to tears like I get, but I also don't want to treat them like idiots. So I keep finding myself going "does that make sense?" "did you get that?" "did any of that makes sense or...?" and usually it's fine, because it's just a couple sisters who I can chatter to and most of the time they chatter a lot too about similar things, although without the confirmation and whatnot. Although to be fair, I tend to keep track of what people tell me about their interests if I see them a lot because my bully/elder sibling trained me to always be able to snap up whatever crumbs of her interests she'd drop so I could maintain a proper conversation about her interests without frustrating her with having to remind me what character, anime, episode, season and whatnot she was talking about, despite the fact she didn't want me to know too much and so I could never actually see certain things or know certain facts until I was deemed worthy or ready or she just couldn't keep it to herself any longer. I swear I learned to keep seven or more shows straight and regurgitate info on them at the drop of a hat!

But yeah. Things don't make sense and I don't grasp new stuff well unless it's people's personal interests, and I'm never sure my interests or thought processes make sense to others.

Also, apparently some of my characterizations of characters are ND coded? I've had people point out ADHD tendencies in Legend and... that's just stuff I do? Or stuff I feel he would do? Chatting and writing/drawing at the same time? Skipping to new thoughts and then trying not to double back only to realize people want to go back? That's actually never happened but I think I'd be surprised if it did, hence writing Legend as so.

And just..... things make sense? Posts about being ND are relatable? I am confused in a million ways.

I've been told all my life that my siblings were the ND kids. I was the normal one. I have built my whole sense of self off of being normal. I'm average height in a family of yeti's. I'm curvy but not too much so in a family where we go from "starves herself skinny" to "struggling to get back to a healthy weight for safeties sake". I was the brown haired brown eyed (they're green now? they were brown when I was a kid though?) quiet, behaved, responsible kid who watched babies for hours at age ten so other kids could play and parents could work on projects. I was the one counted on to be normal and responsible and not break down and cry. I was the good kid. I was the normal kid. And while I know being good and being neuro-typical are not dependent on each other (heaven knows so many NT people are asses) it's still odd to think....

Growing up, I knew the list:

Dad is autism spectrum

Mom is ADHD, OCD, Type A and has PTSD (and maybe more?)

Eldest sister is autism spectrum

Second elder sibling is ADHD, Bi-polar, ADD, OCD and a lot of other stuff my parents never looked into because they thought it was just a label and didn't realize they could get her help with it

Two siblings after me are both autistic. My brother is traditionally autistic, what most people think of (so says my mom), and my sister is more sensory seeking and with a bit of difficulty with socializing and understanding social cues and whatnot, but she's smart, pretty and funny so people don't even notice (I don't think).

The sister after them was my ally in normalicy, we were the "normal, good kids" as far as anyone was concerned.

The siblings after that are ADHD, have attachment issues (likely abandonment issues too, although that's me speaking and not a diagnosis) and my youngest sister has no much I don't even know half of it! She's got a missing chromosome, poor hearing, cognitive delays, speech delays, and is just generally not the normal seven year old , (which isn't bad; God made her just how she ought to be and we love her).

I love them all. I treasure them all. But in a family of twelve where nearly everyone had some sort of struggle with mental, physical, emotional or educational matters, I was the normal kid who handled stuff well and that was what made me stand out. That's what I relied on to remind myself that there was something different about me that made me worth people's time. I mean, we have to compete! There's only 24 hours in a day, two parents and ten kids, not to mention work, lesson planning and the fact we rarely see them much because they hold up in their room to work.

Being normal was my special. Being dependable was what made me matter. Being able to handle things made my parents smile and praise me and I won't lie, I lived for that because that's all I had going for me.

But then I crashed in senior year, I've floundered since, I stopped mattering because I was dependable because I could hardly depend on myself. I may not even be normal? I may not even be what I though made me matter and while I know there's nothing wrong with being ND and normal is really nothing more than a setting on a washing machine, it's still........confusing? Scary? So, so......something?

Words?!!??!?!?!?!!?

I keep getting kicked in the ass with the clues I might not be all I thought I was, and...yeah.

I'm not trying to devalue anyone, or say there's something wrong with being ND, I just....it's a process? I'm trying to process a potential reality that may have been the real one all along?

I'm wondering if my mom knows and decided to never tell me or admit it because leaving a 14 year old potentially ND kid in charge of seven special needs kids, ages 12 to 0, as well as a small farm, most of the housework and meal prep, and her own schooling is like...messed up? Like, does she realize?

There's stuff I keep hearing that I remember doing as a kid.

I didn't like social play, I liked organizing the toys. I rearranged the church nursery's baby doll beds, clothes and babies. Made sure to arrange everything perfectly, sort by clothing type and size and sort (I was like 11). I didn't "cook" with toy food. I made arrangements and then left them there because I didn't want to break them. I didn't always want adventures in games, I liked systems. I learned to play adventures, but I liked making patterns and arrangements and schedules and following them.

And people? I have not a clue how to address people! I spent a good portion of my first dance in highschool hiding behind the scenery/in the bathroom and sobbing because I felt so out of place and confused and lonely. I struggle to connect, to converse. I can read people to a point but I never know what's wanted of me so I flounder? I broke off my only romantic relationship because (a) I didn't like him like that and (b) I had no clue what he wanted of me because no one was asking/demanding like I'm used to and I couldn't read a bloody thing from him.

Apparently, or so I'm told, that's not a normal kid thing?

I'm just wondering what I missed. What did my parents miss? Do they think this too? Is this something they realize? My mom goes around diagnosing random kids I know with autism and aspergers and any number of behavioral disabilities, but if I'm right, has she been missing one that's been under her nose for 20 years?

.......

Ketto feels oof

[madfantasy]

Dear blogging

It's raining and sunny, just like my soul. Today is the first day of Ramadan, month of fasting. Its no biggy for me as I only usually eat 1 meal a day anyway, it's mostly about restraining one self from bad behaviour and bettering moral and encouraging good deeds and so on. That's why it was a wonderful chance for they to initiate another perpetual storm of fights and arguments /s. Its was more of them ranting about how everything is wrong with me and since the house is tiny I can hear everything.

I'm normally emotionally numb to it. It's nothing new. It never is. And im used to it. But every now and then the same things they repeatedly hammer at me suddenly cut deeper than deep and life's importance escapes me..

So as I have no reaction yesterday, when I woken up, I cried like there's no tomorrow right as the sky landed its cold droplets on me, like every cheesy movie moment there is. It wasn't a surprise as the day before a major rain and dust storm showered on our metallic celling. Its not normal weather here. The power went down predictably and my bedding was soaked..

But I like to say I cried with the sky, that rarely cry, in a desert so dry, just like some of the hearts that inhabit it.. they have been cracking jokes now and enjoying the rain like nothing happened, and my episode went unnoticed, at least.

The highlight of their yelling still rings in my ears; it was that I should be thankful that I am sheltered from this cruel world, no work, no money, no friendships, no worries, right? All I have to do is oby them unconditionally and nothing else is acceptable.. /s

I continue to be thankful either way, even with having no reasons to..

And those who try to help me by sending me stuff to check out or ask what they could do or simply just console me, ur one humanity to hold on to with both hands, thank u so much.. I know its such a religious thing of me to say but I always pray for you, to have wellness just around the corner, no matter what happens

Bless u all nd thank u for u time

13.4.2021 5pm, under the whipping thunder ⛈

[aceofspadegrass]

Pretty Princess? Nope.

Characters: Aguni Morizono, Niragi Suguru, Dori Sakurada

Genre: Honestly it's more Sakurada crack. Based off of Dori wearing a dress.

1.3k words

So this happened. Again. I'm having too much fun with writing Sakurada just..... being there. For no logical reason.

Oh, and for people who need to know, there is alcohol mentioned in here. In case you don't want to read about that.

“ So….. explain to me again why you’re sitting here?” Aguni approaches the giraffe print clad man, who was sitting legs over the edge of the rooftop, staring out into the night sky.

“ Fucking…… bastard left me here because I tried to seduce him while he was wearing a fucking dress. Where did he even get a dress, this is the Beach, there’s only supposed to be swimwear here…..” Niragi grumbles, arms folded over his chest as he stares downwards, his lips pulled into a disgusted sneer.

Aguni blinks, staring at the man, his tired eyes and body really wanting to go lay down and sleep. Sadly he had his rounds to make, so he was out and about, and now was finding what Aguni could only refer to as the ‘Worst Thing I Had to Babysit, and I Don’t Even Babysit’ sitting alone on the roof. So all he offers instead is a low hum of acknowledgement, vaguely aware of what Niragi was talking about.

“ You didn’t….. know it was him?”

Niragi throws his arms up in the air. “ How the hell was I supposed to know that was him?! He was turned around, I guess fixing his fucking hair or something, and I came up behind him and-“ Niragi loudly groans, running his hand down his face. “ And then I stormed up here, fucking yelled at him for it, and then he had the audacity to tell me to ‘calm down’ and ‘take a breather’. What does he think he is, telling me to calm down?! I’m perfectly calm!” Aguni calls bullshit, but he knew better than to light the cannon again, so he remains silent. Niragi looks back at him, eyes scanning over his figure again. “ Don’t you have something better to do, Boss?”

Aguni just looks at Niragi, at the black shirt with the white streams that weaved throughout like a bad imitation of a cooling lava pool giraffe, at the half bun and loose strand that hung off the side of his face, at the narrowed stare and casual grip on the rifle that Niragi carried with him everywhere, ready to strike at any point, whenever he felt up to. Niragi remains silent, waiting for an answer, and Aguni just sighs, and walks up to the man, looking down at him with a quiet disposition. Niragi stands up, still looking at Aguni, who despite the attempt to not feel small, still was a whole inch shorter.

Aguni puts a hand on Niragi’s shoulder, and his lips slightly purse, trying to think of the words to say. Niragi tenses up underneath his touch, and knocks it away, backing up just a bit. Aguni’s hand drops to his side, but that didn’t matter, Aguni gathering what might as well be a response. “ Would you like to come down and share some beer while you let steam off instead?” Aguni offers. Sure, it wasn’t the best sort of response, but he had no idea how to comfort a loaded gun who tried to romance his doppelgänger wearing a dress. Aguni didn’t even want to think of the reason why that guy even was wearing one, or what he was doing, but right now he had to make sure Niragi didn’t go and do something so stupid that he had the sole power to restrain for another day. Redirecting his attention for a little oughta do the trick, right? Niragi looks at Aguni carefully, picking apart the simple offer, then visibly relaxes a little, nodding. Aguni simply turns and starts heading down, and by the tap tap tapping of Niragi’s footsteps, he was obediently following him as usual.

The trip down to the bar area was relatively unobtrusive, people ignoring them for once for their own hubris. That was better, Aguni thought, since that meant nobody would wind up Niragi in any sort of emotion, positive or negative.

The current bartender quickly gets the both of them a glass, Aguni taking a slow sip as Niragi stares at the golden liquid like it killed his ego. Aguni opens his mouth just a fraction in an attempt to nudge the other into a soon-to-be one sided conversation, but Niragi takes the glass and drinks at least a third of it, setting it back down on the counter with a little more force than necessary, and his mouth opens on its own as Niragi begins his tangent over finding his clone and everything that he’s done thus far. Aguni acts as nothing more than a vessel, feeling cold wash down his throat every other minute as Niragi went on and on with brief pauses to quench his throat, and soon both parties were empty of beer, Niragi ending up with a second and getting louder. The rant wasn’t even on the other him anymore, now just whatever beef Niragi had with literally anything that his brain could dig up.

“ - I couldn’t even find my good shirt for a good twenty minutes because I somehow kicked it underneath the table and I thought someone walked into my room and stole my shirt! But then one of the other militants came by and found it under there, thank goodness, and then when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I saw that smug snowball with legs on my way to the dining hall, and he had the audacity to exist? Who let that man look like that! No man should look that devious with that bad of a hair dye job!” Niragi went on, Aguni slowly regretting letting this man open his mouth. He nearly was as bad as Hatter, except Hatter was just like that, and Niragi was well….. Niragi.

Niragi looks at Aguni, and sniffs a little, pointing a finger at his chest. “ And then you know what else? Then I found someone trying to leave, so I shot the bastard behind the building. 5 shots, one to each limb and straight in the dick.” He barks a laugh. “ It was great! Serves him right!” The man leans back a little, still smiling and apparently off in his own little world by now. Aguni asks for a water, and he sips on that as Niragi continues.

He counts at least four drinks before Niragi was definitely just rambling for the sake of hearing himself talk. Aguni only had the one at the beginning, now sipping at a can of soda. Niragi was grinning at the sky, and he was spouting nonsense about culling codes. Aguni wasn’t sure what most of it meant, but Niragi seemed to like talking about it.

“ Oh! There you are!” A similar, yet much friendlier voice catches Aguni’s attention, and he slowly looks over as Niragi’s nicer clone comes over, and Aguni quickly realizes what Niragi meant, the man still wearing what looked to be a tiara. “ Hello there! I hope you don’t mind if I bring Niragi back to his room, would you?” “ Oh, uh…. No. Go ahead.” Aguni gestures to the giraffe, who barely recognizes that Sakurada was even there. Sakurada bows a little in appreciation, and he comes over to Niragi, who grumbles quietly. “ Go rot in a hole somewhere else you…. pretty princess.” Niragi commented with an obvious slur in his voice, Sakurada politely laughing and helping Niragi stand. “ Come on, you need your rest. I apologize if he was too much, I’ll take over from here!” Niragi looks back to Aguni as he says the last parts, Aguni nodding back with a calm expression. “ I know Niragi, he’ll be fine.” Aguni tells Sakurada. Sakurada nods, and with quiet encouragement, he guides the drunk man out and back to his room, Aguni downing the last of the soda. He couldn’t help but feel relief throughout his entire body. Thank goodness someone else had control of him. He wasn’t sure his psyche could deal any longer. Or his ears.

[stubbedbakutoes]

Get a Clue

In which Bakugou only smiles around the people he wants to be around, and his girl (y/n) isn't one of them, especially the man who's hitting on her.

pairing: asshole!bakugou x fem reader

word count: 1.6k

genre: angst, lovers to enemies

masterlist

The car had a tense atmosphere. After one hour into their two hour drive up to their mutual friend Todoroki's wedding, Bakugou and (y/n) hadn’t spoken to each other once, his attention being kept on the road, whilst hers was on the phone in her hands.

“Useless fucking GPS.” Irritation pricked at him as he took a U-turn when they reached a dead end.

“It said to take a left, then a right.” She stated, rolling her eyes in the process.

“And look where it got us.” Rage churned inside of him.

“You took two lefts.” She indicated, glancing over at him just in time to chuckle at him taking notice of his mistake since he swallowed down his frustration.

“Thanks.” He deadpanned, not sounding even an ounce grateful.

//

They had only been in the reception of the wedding for half an hour when (y/n) noticed Bakugou start to fidget beside her and unnecessarily tap his fingers on the table as if he was counting down the minutes until he could get home.

“Listen to the best man's speech, will you?” She whispered.

“Is it possible for you to go at least two minutes without being annoying?” Bakugou rolled his eyes.

“Is it possible for you to go at least two minutes without that snarl on your face?” (y/n) retorted, “You have a pretty smile, you should show off those teeth more often.”

“I smile around people I want to be around.”

“Oh c'mon, your best friend is getting wedded!” She giggled, moving her chair closer to whisper. “That lady seated across us may look frightening but she's got a big personality and that guy who accidentally stepped on your foot is probably really sweet too-“

“I was talking about you.” His frustration kicked in.

“M-me?” She stuttered, not expecting that from him at all despite his provocative attitude ever since she stopped by his house earlier morning to drive them here.

“Yes, you.” He spoke slowly, as if he was talking to a kid. “You give me an actual headache when you talk. I thought I made that clear. Wake up, get a clue!“

He held up a finger to indicate he wasn't quite done yet. “And I’m not smiling if I want to, it's not as if I’m making the guests tremble with fear. They always seem to choose me over you and, to be straightforward, I don’t blame them because you're so tiring to be with.”

Ouch. That stung. She took a second to sort through her rapidly moving thoughts. "I thought things were going g-great."

Bakugou let out the fakest laugh ever. "Real low, (y/n)."

"Why the fuck are we even together anymore?!" Y/N eventually whisper-yelled, throwing her hands up in exasperation.    

"Fuck knows why," he practically spat. "I wouldn't even give a shit if you left."   

She was at loss for words, opening and closing her mouth and blinking back the tears she could feel stinging her eyes. She quickly and quietly picking her things up because she no longer had to be here.

"Where – " Bakugou sighed, shutting his eyes and throwing his head back slightly as he groaned. "Where are you going, (y/n)?" He asked tiredly, looking back at the woman in question.     

"Why do you care?" (y/n) scoffed, still seated. "You don't want to be around me anyway, right? You want me to take a hint, right?" She mocked. "So...I’m leaving. Leaving, as in— leaving. I’m done. I’m finished, I can’t—” she shook her head. “I’m done. We’re over.”

Bakugou turns to look at her, an almost unimpressed look on his face. “... Okay. And?” He had a sinister smile on his face. “We were never going to last. You’re just— not good enough for me.”

The Bakugou she fell in love with is now nothing but a stranger to her.

//

(y/n) was in a little black dress that flaunted off her legs with just the right amount of cleavage. Hair's let down, styled carefully, make-up done up as best as she could. (y/n)'s already normally usually feeling like she wasn't good enough for anyone, so having someone she loved with all heart point it out made her feel miserable because tonight was supposed to be different since she actually felt confident and comfortable in her own skin for the first time in ages.

It's been an hour since she broke it off with Bakugou. Sobbing silently, (y/n) headed to the wedding's open bar instead, ordering a beer. It was a cheap brand so it tasted like shit but she drank it anyway, knowing that she'd have to borrow money from Bakugou in order to get herself something more expensive. She mentally scolded herself for thinking of him, causing her to curse loudly at herself.

A soft chuckle from beside her made her jump, and she's met with the sight of a very attractive dark-haired man, maybe a year or two older than herself.    

"Can I buy you something else? Doesn't sit right on the tongue, doesn't it?" He nodded over to the glass bottle she's got her fingers wrapped around.   

Y/N smiled, shaking her head lightly, "Doesn't really matter, as long as it eases the pain" she shrugged a shoulder.    

The man pulled a face, "It's still pretty terrible."  

 "... Yeah, kinda is," she answered and she's laughing lightly – the man also laughing along. "I'm, uh, (y/n), by the way," she grinned from ear to ear, offering him a hand to shake.

"I'm – " he started, but was cut off by someone clearing their throat and then there was the feel of someone wrapping their arm around Y/N's waist.   

"Don't know, don't care," Bakugou's familiar voice drifted into her ears and it's obviously him that's got his arm wrapped around her waist because no one else could immediately make her feel so warm and safe by just a simple act of love. Until an hour ago, that is. So she physically restrained herself from leaning into his touch and slid away from his hold.  

The stranger cleared his throat awkwardly, eyeing Bakugou for a brief moment before backing down and stepping away because Bakugou's glaring at him so hard that even someone innocent would feel guilty for no reason whatsoever.

Y/N slid her gaze over to him and Bakugou's still glaring at the direction in which the man's just walked away, so she huffed in frustration and crossed her arms across her chest as she stared him down.  

"What the fuck was that?" Y/N practically hisses. Who is he to chase off the guy that she'd just been talking with when he was off breaking her heart just an hour before? He's no one, that's who.   

"I want to marry you." Bakugou's voice is low as he speaks, eyes narrowing down on Y/N as she stares up at him defiantly. "I mean it...really."

"I want to burn the image of when I first see you in a dress, the way I cry and how I couldn’t stop crying afterward, and how I feel both embarrassed and glad for my crying, embarrassed because I’m a man and crying in public is still hard, and glad because it means something when you cry on your wedding day. And the way I lift our clasped hands after we're announced, and how I feel accomplished in life, something in between 'We did it,' and, 'Holy Shit this is actually happening.' and-" he cut himself off, not because he was done with his rant.

But because he was crying. He was actually full-fledged crying, tears streaming down either sides of his cheeks and his nose was reddening from sniffling too much. She took a step forward, and Bakugou didn't see her move, because he was so preoccupied with wiping at his eyes – as though to get rid of any evidence that he'd been crying.    

"Fuck off," She nearly laughed out. “That’s not what you were saying an hour ago.”

“I know that but I didn’t mean it, you know I didn’t.”

“Do I?” She looked up to find he was avoiding her intimidating gaze. “Because whoever that was who pushed me out and tried to imply I was a nuisance is certainly not the man I plan to get along with, let alone marry.”

“No. No, I-I’m just. You know I love you. You know I want to— I want this. You know that you mean the fucking world to me, you always have, you always will. I just— I was mad at myself because— I saw, fucking firsthand, how many people want you, and how you could have anyone, but then— you— you’re with me. The quick-tempered asshole, and—” He stopped, figuring his words are all but making sense to her, chest heaving up and down rapidly like he had just been running kilometers at a time. His eyes are still wide, maybe even a little crazed. 

She stayed completely silent. 

All she did was stare at him, breathing almost as heavily as he was. But her ears rang with his words and God, she wanted to walk away so badly—but she doesn’t think she's physically capable of doing so from the boy that she was sure she's going to never stop loving because she's whipped for the guy. Feeling's mutual though, since (y/n) had his heart in the palm of her hands and she wasn't even aware of it because all he did was make her feel like he's leagues above her and it's such a shitty feeling.

Bakugou was the first to break the silence. “I’m begging you, (y/n)” Bakugou nearly whispered out, eyes a shade of stained glass. "If you want to walk out right now, not even be near me, I’ll understand. But— fuck. Please don’t leave me for good. Please let me make up for my shortcomings as your boyfriend, and hopefully— hopefully — as your husband and...the dad of our future children."