#and my moms side is sooooo religious
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either way I think it’s funny that that man has such a bad Ed he thinks the worst thing I could possibly be is fat and not like. Murdered or evil
#and like I don’t think I’m evil i think I’m not the best person#i think my mental illnesses are kicking my ass#but it’s not my fault that from the young age of babyhood I’ve felt like satan and god have been watching over me specifically waiting for#me to fuck up! its almost as if Christianity and Catholicsm are not good things to instill in children#my issues with religion are only targeted at Christianity/Catholicism and even still I don’t think religion is inherently bad!!! i just#have really bad thoughts? delusions?! instilled in from childhood because I learned abt the concept of death at like 3#and my moms side is sooooo religious
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alicole and larycent children ideas in a world where there's feasibly like years of post viserys's death where alicent could concieve children plural okay lets go
VISERRA "TARGARYEN"
alicole baby
born in like 9/10ish months after viserys dies so okay plausible deniability even if viserys was nawt getting it up atp
she is sooooo tall and very strong and broad esp for a woman and a targaryen princess and obviously she had like brown hair and brown eyes anyway there are obviously fucking rumors
no one admits to her growing up who her father is (and criston stays far away) but she obviously knows and develops this complete obsession with being like him
alicent obviously hates this tomboyish side but like what can she do about it. viserra is sent to oldtown pretty much at age 5.
ik shes from the crownlands but the idea of this butch fighter being called viserra flowers mockingly is too good to me
anyway she has total serial killer gene she's an incredible fighter bc she just does not car if she lives or dies she's an amazing met puppet
they cannot marry her off the 3egon or viiserys and she refuses to become a septa so tbh the maesters put her down like old yeller. rip viserra targaryen you never met a kind-hearted noble tall knight to give u this generations jaime/brienne parallel
LYMAN RIVERS
uhhh let's pretend instead of being imprisoned at the red keep or whatever alicent can get imprisoned at harrenhal yayyyyy anyway larycent baby
at first larys is like" idgaf about this baby" and alicent is actively going mad BUT THEN this baby grows up to be sooooo desperate for his father AND mother's approval and larys is like... wait thats literally alicent but a boy and willing to do whatever i say lets get INTO it
anyway lyman is verryyyy agot theon like he's good looking and kinda rogueishly charming and an archer but he's also in a roose/ramsay relationship with his father and will do anything he says
he's bringing home dead things for alicent like "why won't mummy love me"
MAEGELLE RIVERS
larycent baby #2
anyway in complete opposite of viserra, maegelle is tinyyyyy stick thin emaciated and sickly and sooooo religiously devoted she hates her serial killer siblings
shes born in like 135 ac (larycent lives au yay) and her mom like deliberately withholds info that she's half siblings with fucking taragryens like this girl fully believes shes a riverlands bastard
she cries. all the fuckign time. constant emotional distress. cant even handle seeing a bloody hangnail
obviously lyman torments her and makes life miserable for her
alicent is like "ohh my perfect baby angel" and munchausen's by proxies her
larys doesn[t care she annoys him sooooo much by crying and he's totally dedicated to his mini me
#asoiaf#house of the dragon#fire and blood#hotd#a song of ice and fire#criston cole#alicent hightower#larys strong#larycent#alicole
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Y’all wanna hear some family drama I’m about to cause?? 😏 👀
Sooooo I have made the decision to begin my journey of converting to Orthodox Christianity (yay!) which I’m soooo excited for. But here’s the situation:
My mom’s side of the family is Ethiopian Orthodox Christian. My mom left Orthodoxy and my dad (who’s Ghanian) left Catholicism so that they could get married, but they’re both still Christian. We were raised attending Protestant churches (my dad is definitely still Catholic at heart tho lol)
My moms younger sister and brother, both of whom I am very close too, still practicing Orthodox. My grandmother is also Orthodox, and she was so upset that my siblings and I weren’t baptized in the Church that she would take us to church when I was like 3 y/o and make us take communion (which you’re not supposed to do if you’re not Orthodox) in secret from my mom 😂 and she would tell the priest that she knew it was wrong, but that she would “take the blame for the sin” 😭 my grandma is an angel but that’s for another post
I was talking to my aunt about me converting yesterday and she was happy for me and I told her not to tell my mom yet bc she doesn’t agree with some beliefs of Orthodoxy after having left the church (sainthood, the perpetual virginity of Mary, etc). The last time I talked to her about simply going to an Orthodox Church she was very judgemental haha
So I think I will tell the rest of my family about my decision when I have scheduled my baptism and gone through the classes. I know my mom will be pissed bc she is very religious but also doesn’t agree with Orthodoxy.
It’s definitely not that serious and I know that she will be happy that I am making God the center of my life regardless of the church I choose.
Pray for me on my conversion journey ☺️
#thoughts#I am also getting a nose piercing#thanksgiving will be so dramatic this year#does this make me toxic 🧐
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YOU BEEN HATING ME SINCE DAY ONE FROM A SPIRITUAL PLACE WE COME FROM N YOU BITCHES WAN KNOW N MYRON IF YA GOOD TO ME NOW,.
THIS LIFE ABOUT MAKING RIGHT TO ME GOD AS CASHAY,
I tell ya now JESSICA TURNER YA LOST N NAE TOO,
the rest we gotta fight boo,
SMALL LIP DESTINY BITCH, YOURE OUT! FUCKED OVER AT THAT TRACK MEET .. Ya Tele me .. ya hated me still..
FOR WHAT!??
“My hair longer than yours n my lips smaller”
LIKE JASMINE LILY MOM YA COLORIST BITCHES FOR THE WHITE MAN COONS ,
Miss “they praise you” NAW SON THEY HATE ME IM FREE THEY LOVE YOUR INCEST WILLING SLAVE ASS BITCH,
YA GOT YA PRIOROTIES FUCKED UP ALL YOU BITCHES AND WAYNE N CHRIST RACIAT ASSES TELLING ME I WASNT BLACK WNOUGH TO CLAIM IT AND NAE TALKING SHIT BEHIND MY BACK FOR IT N THEN TELLING ME IM TOO LIGHT SKIN THEREFORE WHITE ENOUGH,
FUCK YOU 54 STREET SKÜL BITCHES LONG N HARD. YAL DESERVE THE PAIN ABOUT TO COME TO YOU,
AND THE BLACK BITCHES WHO HATE ON LIGJT SKIN FIRST CAUSE THE WHITE MAN FED YOU BULLSHIT AGENDA OF LOVING THEM MOST FROM HOUSE NIGGA DAYS,
YOU A FUCKING EVIL COLORIST WILLING AT HEART,
YA DONT WANA LEARN SOMETHING NEW,
OFF MY PLANET OF CREATION BOO,
BUT FIRST WE GET OUR LICK BACK,
AND VICE VERSA FOR THE LIGHT SKINS HATING DARKS WILLINGLY!!
HAPPY HUNTINGS, I’ll let ya in on a lil Tele secret if I like you,
BUT GOOD LUCK CITCH-CENFUL-BITCHES
🥱
BARAK CAN THE SHIP JUST EAT THESE BITCHES ALREADY,
TIRED OF THESE HOES TAKE EM TO THE PLANET OF VENOM ,
And meet my REAL NASTY MEAN GIRL SIDE
😴
Ya dummy fat asses
( ps not a compliment jas lily’s mom soft* mommy bbl ass shots)
SOOOOO PLAYED OUT,
ALL I GOT TO OFFER IS HALF A BOOK READ MY HAIR N NAILS DONE RELIGIOUSLY ( interesting routine) and fake woke spiritual wisdom I get from a mineral seamoss bath, WHILE I POORLY COOK YA STREET FOOD! THANKS MAMA NICOLE FOR REMINDING ME MY NIGGER SIDE W FOOD AT DUMBASS JAS N NAE THOTS .. BITCH ITS SOUL COOKING SOMETHING YOU DONT GOT.. MISSING THE WHOLE FOOT DUMMY THATS WHY ERIC LEFT YOU … and ya nigga now thinking bout too.. cheating on you w def trannies cause he lost n confused … COME HITLER ILL TEACH YOU 💋 ( naes mad GOD KIDSSED HER MANS)
🥴
like be SOOOOO FUCKING FRFR,
WHY WOULD YOU EAT THAT BULLSHIT FROM LEE,
A 4 YR OLD TOLD HER…
So ya DO THINK IM SMART ASS FUCK N GOD…
Interesting can’t tell if ya love like or HATE ME
ALL AS ONE,
CRI(st)MES OF PASSIONS, KILLING YOU FOR GOOD.
Ya know how it go sspiritual* Zclone famILY cunts wh$re
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Heard you were having bad brain times and wanted some silly fun stuff, i gotchu.
How about some stereotypicallly basic white girl things op characters do?
Some ideas(feel free to add your own): loves pumpkin spice everything, says shit like "totes ma goats", lives for drama filled "real tv" shows, wears a pink tracksuit, watches Mean Girls religiously(the movie title is very literal,you don't need to have seen it), listens to Taylor Swift all the time, loves Twilight, eats a bagel for breakfast everyday, planned their outfit based on a white suburban mom's pinterest board
Just some ideas, hopefully this is fun and I hope you feel better soon💜💜💜
With love,
-Zell
May darling <3 I love this idea and I feel better and sorry this took a second.
I hope no one takes offence, I'm white as hell so like.. yes. [also we are all a little white woman aren't we, deep down there's a Beccy and a Karen lurking]
Marco He’s the bitch that can’t wait for pumpkin spice to come around. He also showed up to Wano 20 minutes late with Starbucks which is pretty white girl of him. His Sphinx outfit looks like a mom coming back from yoga.
Ace Spends too long looking at TikTok. Daddy issues.
Thatch Drinks wine and writes smut.
Izou Goes and gets his nails did but spends the entire time gossiping about the bitch down the street and her shit haircut.
Law Is a huge twilight fan and spends hours online fighting about whose better looking that one guy or the other one guy.
Rayleigh All around his home is ‘wine o'clock’ - ‘everything is better with prosecco’ and has those bowls that say ‘bowl ‘plate’ and so on. ‘Live Laugh Love’
Buggy Would murder someone if they messed up his $80 extensions.
Hawkins I can imagine him telling Kaido he can’t go out and kill people because ‘uh don’t you know Mercury is in retrograde? I just can’t babes’
Boa ‘R U OKAY HUN?’ at every vague sounding Facebook post that's like : ( or ‘ugh’
Nami Is the person who posts : ( vague on facebook. Also, she’s a huge Karen, fight me. She would walk up to God himself and ask to see his manager.
Thatch, Killer, Sanji Could spend hours watching episode after episode of ‘Real housewives of Dressrosa’ and ‘teen mom Grandline’
Zoro, Kid Post gym selfies on insta making sure you can see their protein shakes.
Nami, Vivi, Boa, Rebecca Do ‘Zumba’ and won’t shut the fuck up about it and makes it their entire personality for the three months they attend.
Perona ‘This car is powered by fairy dust!’ ‘princess onboard!’ ‘my other ride is a broom’ bumper stickers.
Whitebeard ‘My children are my world’ and the stickers that are stick figure families along the back of his van. Fighting a salesperson who gets paid minimum wage over 10 cents.
Hawkins, Drake, Izou Won’t leave the house before checking their horoscopes.
Mihawk INSANELY LONG COMPLICATED COFFEE ORDER and will make you make it again if that milk is full fat.
Shanks Woo girl
Sabo Sticks gum in someone's hair if they even mildly piss him off. Spends $400 on boots and never wears them. Oh, watches you make his drink like a hawk and before you make his second one 'Um excuse me, I ordered TWO drinks' while your still making it.
Queen, Black Maria At a restaurant ordering dessert ‘Oh I shouldn’t’ ‘Oh no babe, you deserve it’ ‘okay, I’ll be a devil and have a piece of that cheesecake’ BOTH GIGGLE
Doffy, Kaido Pink tracksuit bottoms and small dogs in their handbags. Shades and purses that cost more than your house. Roger Takes one sip of a beer and acts drunk ‘I’m sooooo wasted guys omg’
Franky, Sanji, Roger, Thatch Crying over movies like ‘Dirty Dancing’ and wishing they could be the girl and the lead guy is so hot omg.
Corazon "I'll just have ONE glass of wine" and the glass is the side of his head. or runs a bubble bath and drinks three bottles but it's not a problem it's self care.
Tag yourselves, I'm Marco with a dash of Thatch.
#marco#marco the phoenix#fushichou marco#one piece#sfw#portgas d ace#portgas d. ace#trafalgar law#fire fist ace#thatch#izou#izo#vivi nefertari#boa hancock#queen the plague#gol d. roger#buggy the clown#nami#perona#massacre soldier killer#eustass kid#law#zoro#sanji#kaido#hawkins#hawkins op#shanks#red haired shanks#silvers rayleigh
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For the road trip, on a personal note (and thus the separate ask so feel free to delete or what have you): I noticed the Christian description in the bio and out of curiosity as a Christian myself, were you raised as such? Did you convert later in life (either to a different denomination or Christianity as a whole)?
I guess I'm just asking about your testimony because I like hearing them. :) BUT I get it if you don't want to share or if I've misunderstood your bio lol
In any case have a safe trip today!
This ask makes me so happy, but I'm going to stick it under a cut due to general conversation of religion and some religious trauma. :)
So -- first off, sorry for taking so long to answer this. I'm like an infant with no object permanence as far as asks go. The minute I look away it ceases to exist, lol.
But! Answering now.
Yup, there's Christian in my bio. I'm not very in-your-face about it but I occasionally mention church or my pastor's wife or something on stream. I think I started humming a hymn the other day before I caught myself lol.
My dad's a pastor, and I was raised in church. Literally. Like -- every time there was an event, and half the time when there wasn't: I was at the church. We lived next door to the church(es) most of the time, and in later years we would sometimes go spend the day there in the summer because the church had AC and our house did not. XD
But yeah: churches. Plural. Being a PK is no bed of roses -- we were chased out of one church by an assistant pastor who bullied the congregation and scared them into "asking" my dad to resign, and in another my then-best-friend's mom led a ring of conspiracy theorists who thought Dad was part of a cult out to take over the world. (I wish I was exaggerating. I'm legitimately not.) We were forced out of our house (because the church owned it) two weeks before Christmas, no one from that church would speak to us ever again, and though I still live relatively close to that town I refuse to drive through it.
I'd lived in ~8 different houses before I was 12, and that particular event ended with us being homeless for 8 months and living in my grandad's basement. it was bad, I still have nightmares about it 20-ish years later, and I've legitimately blocked out a large portion of that year from my memory -- which can lead to some fun discussions sometimes with parents or sibs who remember something I don't.
And because of all that, I... don't have a lot of trust in the church, as an organization. I teased my dad the other day that, frankly, he's lucky all of us didn't ditch the whole shebang. He didn't laugh, actually. He agreed.
These days I'm dealing with what certain circles call "deconstruction" -- dunno how in on Current Popular Christian Lingo you are, but basically I'm going through the (very arduous, very stressful, often very emotional) process of picking apart everything I've ever been taught and trying to evaluate what's really true, what's just tradition, and what's outright wrong. So my testimony is kind of just starting, honestly. I don't have any dramatic conversion story (though I was baptized in January in a church where they forgot to turn on the heater in the baptistry so that's a vivid memory XD) but I'm in the middle of some kind of reformation, rediscovering the beauty and hope of my faith, and we'll have to see what comes out the other side.
Sooooo... yeah. That's the answer there. Probably a bit heavier than you were expecting, so sorry about that. :) Being a Christian on this webbed site isn't exactly... a popular option, so I feel a leeeeettle defensive about the faith that I've worked dang hard to keep and am working even harder to grow like some stunted little bonsai tree LOL.
But thank you so much for the question! And we had a lovely and safe trip back, so thanks for those well-wishes too. <3
#redwinteranswers#cw religion#cw religious trauma#<- hopefully the read-more is enough but just in case we'll stick those tags on there too
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Mind, Body, and Soul
Authors Note: This is a Spencer Reid AU inspired by @subspencer who started the concept of this AU. This is their original idea btw their blog has top tier plug spence content it’s just *chefs kiss*. This is an AU where he went through school at a normal pace instead of graduating at twelve years old. For a little backstory, his childhood is very similar but instead, he became a plug in high school. He started using and selling because he got bored with school work easily since he’s a genius but no one was in his life to encourage him to excel in school. He also became a plug to help with his mom’s medical bills.
Content Warning: Implied drug use(weed/cocaine), Drinking, Swearing, and implied smut.
Word Count: 2.5K
Chapter 1: Silver Rings and Hand Tattoos
I’m not really a person who enjoys going to parties which is odd because I’m a college student. Most of my peers spend their free time getting high and drinking like fish. I guess you could say I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life because I grew up in the upper-middle-class suburbs and I went to a catholic school for my entire life. Neither of my parents are Catholic or even super religious for that matter, but they wanted me to have a “structured school experience” or whatever that means. I also was handed basically whatever I wanted on a silver platter. My parents separated when I was only two years old because my mom was tired of my dad always being gone for work. So I spent most of my life with my mom who coddled me. Being the sheltered kid I was I never went to parties or snuck out and my catholic school was an all-girls school so my experience with guys is very limited. I’m only at this party for one reason Penelope Garcia.
It all started when I began volunteering at the local animal humane society. That’s where I met Penelope Garcia. At first glance, you would think she was nothing short of the purest little cinnamon roll but looks can be very deceiving. She and I became close instantly, and we hung out whenever I wasn’t at school or working. The first time we hung out the topic of jobs came up and I told her that I’m a college student and I work at a comic book shop for a little extra cash even though I didn't need it because whatever my scholarship didn’t cover my dad insisted on paying for including my apartment because I didn’t want to live in a cramped dorm with three other girls. I think he thinks it makes up for all of the lost time during my childhood at least he’s trying though. When I asked her what she did for a living she started to giggle. After her giggle fit, she told me she was a hacker and a weed dealer.
After two years of knowing Penelope, she finally convinced me to go to and I quote “a little get together with a couple of friends” which actually looks a little more like a frat party to me. Either way, I decided why not because I’m going into my junior year in college, yet I only have three friends one being Penelope and the other two are my friends from my childhood. As I’m walking down the hallway of Penelope’s apartment building I can smell weed smoke and I can hear music blaring from here. I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten a noise complaint yet. It’s probably because she sells to a lot of her neighbors, so they put up with it. As I open the door this “little get together” is looking really intimidating. People are packed all in the apartment and there’s very little space to move around. I decided it’s probably best to try and find Penelope. I spot her across the room, but it’s kind of hard not to spot her with the glitter on her eyes and the flashy jewelry she’s wearing. It makes me giggle because I remember all of the times she's spilled various tubs of glitter all over her apartment and now you can’t leave her apartment without a little piece of glitter somewhere on you.
I try to squeeze my way past all of the people in attempts to get near Penelope. I know she can’t hear me between the music that’s blasting and all of the people attempting to talk over the music so calling out for her is useless. As I make my way over to Penelope I spot two people making out on the couch which looks more like they’re trying to eat each other’s faces. Seriously the guy was gripping her hair like his life depended on it. I couldn’t see either of their faces but I spotted a spider web tattoo on the corner of his hand. I quickly look away because I realized I was looking for too long and it was starting to get creepy. I squeeze past the rest of the people and finally make my way over to Penelope and I grab onto her arm and nearly giver her a heart attack.
“Penelope what the hell happened to a little get together!” I ask her with a terrified look on my face.
“Oh finally you’re here I want you to meet a couple of people!” she squeaked out before grabbing my arm and beginning to pull me into the sea of people.
“Don’t avoid the question pen.” I say as I plant my foot in attempts to stop her from pulling me.
I didn’t work very well because she kept dragging me.
“I knew you wouldn’t show up if I told you how many people are here and I wanted you to have a good time sooooo, I figured telling a little white lie would be for the better.” She said while dragging me towards the couch where the two people with their tongues down each other’s throats were. I wonder where they snuck off to or if they just decided to call it a night and leave. I contemplate Penelope’s words and sigh because I know she’s right and I should learn to relax for once.
“Sit here and I’ll get you something to drink.” She says before making her way through the sea of people once again.
I just sit on the couch very awkwardly for a couple of minutes with my hands folded in my lap wondering where Penelope is. I decide to pull out my phone because I’m too awkward to start a conversation with anyone. About half an hour later I take a glance over my phone when I see a figure walking towards me. I thought it must have been Penelope, so I look up even more and put my phone down. It’s just the girl from earlier but now she looks different because she has her mascara running down her face, she's missing a fake eyelash, her hair and clothes are messed up, she keeps sniffing, and now that she is facing me I can see that see her hair is split dyed with one side being black and the other being a bright red color.
“Excuse me I’m sorry my purse is right there can you hand it to me please.” she says as she points to a cute black bag with bat wings on it.
“Uh, yeah here you go.” I say as I reach down and hand it to her.
“Thanks your skirt is so pretty by the way.” She says in a baby-talk voice while she reaches down and pats my head like a puppy. As she bends down slightly to pat my head I can see that her pupils are the size of saucers that explains a lot.
She proceeds to walk away without another word like that didn’t just happen. I’m left sitting there on the couch more confused than ever. I try to contain an awkward chuckle because I don’t want the people near me to think I’ve lost my mind. About five minutes later I figure Penelope must've gotten busy or distracted this is her party after all and it would be rude of me to expect her to be up my ass all night. So I stand up and flatten my pleated mini skirt then I make my way through the people who are packed together like sardines. I didn’t want to seem like a buzzkill or a priss, so I decided to try and socialize a bit. I figured I could make my way into whatever conversation Penelope was in so I wasn’t stealing her away and it would be easier to talk to new people if I had a friend there. As I make my way across the room once again I spot Penelope talking to a lanky guy that is way taller than me. As he has his back to me Penelope must’ve seen me because she waved at me and beckoned me over with one finger in a flirty way. That’s just who Penelope was she jokingly flirted with all of her friends. I’m so used to it by now that it’s just another thing about her that I love. I giggle and pick up my pace as the guy turns his head slightly to see who she was waving to. As I see his side profile I think he looks familiar but I figured it was the multi-colored lighting throughout the apartment and my mind was playing tricks on me.
“Hey (y/n) I want you to meet a good friend of mine this is Spencer.” She says while not being able to get a word out without giggling. She must’ve smoked because she's always kind of giggly but now she can’t control herself.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” I say while giggling because of Penelope’s contagious laugh and I reach out my hand to shake his hand.
“Sorry I don’t shake hands it’s a germ thing.” He says while shifting his weight and stuffing his hands in his pockets. Of course, I had to go and make the situation awkward but at the same time how was I supposed to know.
After the first couple of minutes, it wasn’t as awkward anymore. I found out he’s twenty-two, and he’s from Las Vegas but moved out here for college four years ago. I’m not sure why he choose to move across the country but I don’t really give it a second thought. I also noticed he didn’t talk about his childhood, his job, or anything really personal. We probably talked for about two or three hours. I didn’t even realize how many people left but gradually people would come up to Penelope and say bye.
“Well my lovelies why don’t we turn the music down and switch on all of the normal lights, and we can all talk in the living room!” She says while sitting her cup down.
I think she's absolutely out of her mind with all of the people here and as I go to point it out I turn my head to see that there are only six other people here now other than me, Penelope, and Spencer. Those other six people are already talking in her living room so Spencer walks over to talk to them. Penelope and I turn the music down low but still loud enough to barely hear over the people talking. After that, we turn all of the multi-colored lights off and flip on the regular lights.
Penelope takes a seat next to a pretty girl named Cat on the loveseat near her couch. Cat has shoulder-length dark brown hair, brown eyes, and a really pretty smile. When she introduces herself to me she’s nice, but she’s also very sarcastic. You can tell by the way Spencer shifted his eyes towards her when she and I were talking and how he instinctively turned away from her that they have some sort of history. The only seat left is in between Spencer and the arm of the couch. Three other people were already on the couch so there wasn’t much room. Spencer’s thigh was resting against mine in attempts to turn away slightly from Cat. I finally get a good look at him with normal lighting. He looks like he hasn't slept for a week but it suits him. He has kind hazel eyes and a really pretty mouth. I stop myself from staring because I don’t know him at all and I defiantly don’t want him to think I’m a creep.
Everybody was kind of just doing their own thing. People were either talking or on their phones. After a while, Spencer gently puts his hand right above my knee while I was just scrolling on my phone to avoid awkward small talk. I can feel the cold metal of his rings on my thigh and now I can feel his gaze on me. He lets out a little chuckle and rubs his thumb back and forth on my thigh because he can feel the goosebumps on my leg. I look down at my leg and I see a very familiar spider web tattoo. I instantly tense up because I remember what I saw on the couch and I remember what the girl looked like when she came back from wherever they disappeared off to. He removes his hand really quickly when he feels my body tense.
“Hey, are you okay? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable I’m really sorry.” He begins to apologize.
“No no no you didn't do anything wrong. I… I was just thinking about something I have to do tomorrow and how I’m going to have to get up early. You’re okay you didn’t do anything wrong I promise.” I only half-lie really because he wasn't making me uncomfortable quite the opposite actually. My body didn’t tense because I was uncomfortable it was a reaction to the change in his demeanor. The guy on the couch before seems to be a completely different guy on the couch sitting right next to me.
“You promise?” He asks me still clearly not believing my bullshit excuse.
“Promise.” I say turning my phone off and looking him right in the eyes. Wow, I don’t think I’ve noticed how pretty his eyes are. No. Nope. Don’t do this to yourself don’t be stupid. I try to avoid his gaze and put up walls. At the same time, he puts his hand back on my thigh but a little higher than last time and puts my chin between his thumb and forefinger. I feel myself leaning in towards him and my eyes flutter shut. For a moment I forget that we’re surrounded by other people and I forget where I’m at even. All of a sudden Penelope (clearly unaware of what she just interrupted) claps her hands so loudly that it alerts me and Spencer, and we separate before we kiss, but he doesn't remove his hand from my thigh.
“Okay, my fine furry friends why don’t we play a drinking game. Let’s not let the fun die yet how about a game of never have I ever?” Penelope says after clapping her hands. Wow, thanks for cockblocking me Pen. Well, maybe not because that same hand that was just above my knee before has now made its way right below the hem of my skirt. This is going to be interesting.
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid smut#spencer reid au#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds smut#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#plug!spencer#plug spencer
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Hey kate! I hope you're doing well and this ask find you in a good place. So im having kind of a struggle with my mom and i dont understand why it's happening, what i actually did wrong, and what can i do to make it better. Homosexuality is a very hot topic in my country and it's always seen with disgust and hatred and that happens to also be my moms stance on this subject. While discussing i told her basically that i didnt agree with her and that i would need a lot of good arguments from her-
-To accept that these people are dirty, perverse and unworthy of love because of their sexual preferences. And pressuring me to agree with her she saw my mind wouldn't change and after telling me she wouldn't support me anymore if i held onto these beliefs she has been holding a grudge for a couple of day. I genuinely dont understand wtf is going on and why im suddenly not worthy of attention because i dont agree with her. Thank u for reading this even if u never find the time to respond!
I’m sorry, Anon. Even though the country I live in is more accepting, my mom is actually extremely fundamentalist (I’m religious too but religion shouldn’t come with a side of homophobia; that’s imo a sin because you’re hurting someone). Sooooo I can relate to a certain degree.
I am really sorry to hear she’s holding you in contempt for believing in human rights. It hurts when parents choose beliefs over religion or politics over their children--not saying they have to agree on everything, but to take it out on their child over their child not agreeing with their bigotry is wrong, and you don’t deserve that. It’s okay to be hurt by that, because it’s hurtful and unfair.
I don’t really talk about these things with my mom except if she brings it up. After my state recently had a bathroom bill on the ballot, I was able to talk to her about transgender people and the science of intersex people and she ended up voting for trans rights. Progress? In a sense? So all that to say I would not bring it up with her, but hold fast to your beliefs and if she brings it up, try to talk to her--but people don’t always act rationally when they are defensive.
This is hard to articulate because it’s not anyone’s responsibility to educate, but if you wish to do so (and it’s fine if not), the only way to really educate is the same way a teacher should in a classroom: compassion and empathy. It’s hard especially because these are like... people’s lives and wellbeings are at stake, so it’s normal and good to get angry especially when people are in power and making decisions that negatively impact those people. But in private lives, this is less likely to be the case, and the best way to impact someone is to show them the compassion that they aren’t giving people different from them. Ask what they mean when they say certain things, ask what makes them think that, and usually it won’t be rational so you can’t argue against it. Focus on human experiences and stories rather than on facts when discussing--that usually is far more effective. It’ll be a long process, and even if there is never any progress, that doesn’t make you a bad person. She’s in charge of her beliefs, not you; you can only control your own.
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Survey #220
“as long as god in heaven dwell, your soul, your soul shall scream in hell.”
Would people consider you more immature or mature? It depends on the context. Emotionally, I think I'm considerably mature. As far as eligibility to be a proper adult goes, yeah. No. Would people consider you more funny or serious? I personally don't think I'm very funny, but I'm not super serious, either. Are you currently in love with someone? Who is this person? So... I'm quietly pondering over whether or not I'm just biromantic, not bisexual. I genuinely think I'm in love with my girlfriend, I do, but we have so, so little actually sexual experience that I don't know if "bisexual" fits me. I totally adore her romantically, I know that, but maybe sexually, I'm not into her? I don't know. It's hard for me to say because when I picture doing certain "things," I can't really tell what I feel. I don't take that as an "I'm not into it" though, considering I've wound up liking things with a guy I didn't think I would with anyone, something I only discovered by doing it. This whole situation was driving me insane a few days ago to the point I felt sick, but I've calmed myself out of it to where I've accepted I just have to wait and learn, being long-distance. I'm still entirely invested in us and am going to be honest learning about myself. I haven't actually talked to Sara about it and don't want to unless I come to learn this hunch has credibility. Which room in your house are you in? What color are the walls? My bedroom; light puke green, Why God. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Who got you interested in it? I don't really know about my "absolute favorite." It depends on my mood, really. I think maybe watching my favorite YouTubers tops the list, something Jason actually started with PewDiePie; or RPing, which I got into myself thanks to Meerkat Manor. Would the people you know say you have a nice singing voice? Barely anyone ever hears me sing, so idk. I personally feel my voice suits only few songs. Would you say most of your friends are older/younger than you? Ummm, good question. All but two are very close in age range, but most of my friends/closer acquaintances are kinda split around either side. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? Nope. Are you listening to music right now? If so, who’s singing the song? Yeah, I'm listening to Khemmis' cover of "A Conversation With Death." It's the intro song to that new game Man of Medan and is so badass. All the comments are like "came here from so-and-so's LP because this is epic" and same. What is your dream career? What inspired you to pursue this career? Probably meerkat biologist if I could handle the heat and was okay with moving, or paleontologist if I wasn't opposed to heavy travel. I love meerkats and dinosaurs v v much. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? No. What would you say is your favorite holiday? Why did you choose this? Halloween bc spooks and costumes and candy. Does it feel odd being around your friend’s parents? Why or why not? If I'm alone with them and don't know them very well, sure? What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Is there one in your city? Sonic, probably. And no, but in our neighboring city. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Is there one in your city? Olive Garden. See above. Do you ever take pictures with family members around the holidays? Mom pretty much forces it, lol... Have you ever thought you were adopted because of opposing interests? Y'ALL not kidding I legit asked my fucking mom if I was adopted in elementary school bc I thought she hated me one day versus my little sister lmfao. I went through a phase of feeling like she couldn't be "this mean" to her legitimate child. Are you more interested in indoor activities or outdoor things? Hm, that depends on the activities available. Most outdoor things are more fun, though. When is the next time you’ll see someone you’re crushing on? We were just talking a couple days ago about our next visit, actually. If I can financially, I'm probably coming up to see her for her birthday again, as that's when I have a decent break from school. Speaking of which, how many people are you crushing on right now? Lol I mean it's been just shy of two years, a "crush" doesn't cut it. Have you ever played Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo DS? Was it fun? No, actually. I didn't grow up playing Mario games. What exactly is your favorite gaming system? Do you have this system? The PS2. It had a giant graphical leap, contains SOOOOO many goodies, and you can still play PS1 games on it. How often do you talk on the phone? Who do you talk with the most? Very very rarely, pretty much only ever with my mom or dad. I hate talking on the phone. Do you normally do what other people around you want you to do? Depends. What does your trick-or-treat bag or pail look like? I don't have one anymore, but it used to be an orange, plastic jack-o-lantern. How old will you turn on your next birthday? 24... wow. What are your plans to celebrate? Probably just go out to dinner with family. What floor do you live on? I only have one floor. Do you have a balcony? No. What is your favorite fall drink, if you had to pick just one? None. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? I've never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? I'm pretty sure I was in my entire school career... Damn dude, proud. Were you a straight A student in math? HA hell no. I could get a C sometimes. Were you abused or do you know anyone who was abused? I wasn't, but I know people. Are you a Democrat or Republican, or neither? Neither. Independent. Who would take care of you if you needed surgery? My mom and dad, as far as bills go. Do you think you have an accent? Not really. Sometimes you can hear it, though. Have you been told you have an accent? Only when I was younger. I had a SERIOUS one. My family in NY couldn't even understand me sometimes, lmao. Where do you live (country or state)? North Carolina. If you could start a church, what would it be like? I wouldn't. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? Nah. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Get a goddamn stable job. Do you know what your purpose in life is? Spreading the love and respect of animals and conservation. If you live in an apartment, what is the maintenance man’s name? N/A What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? Hypothetically, if I had/wanted kids, I'd enjoy carving pumpkins with them, obviously taking them trick-or-treating, autumnal crafts would be fun together, and watching Halloween/scary films appropriate to their age would be a nice experience. I'd decorate the house with them. Oh, a hayride would be cool together, I love those. AND DON'T FORGET JUMPING INTO LEAF PILES! I have a lot of ideas for someone who doesn't want to be a mom. Have you ever seen a fox? Yeah. At least one alive, a handful as roadkill. What color are the squirrels where you live? Brown. What do the trees look like where you live? Pine trees. Pine trees. What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? I really enjoyed the trip to Beaufort to an island of wild horses. The water was rough that day, and goddamn... watching the ocean in its aggression was unbelievable. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? UM, DID ANY KID NOT????? Do you find museums boring or interesting? Very interesting! Gimme a science museum and I'm SOLD. What are three issues you are passionate about? GAY RIGHTS, wildlife and nature conservation, women's rights and the pro-choice argument. What are three countries you have no desire to visit? North Korea, Iraq, and... uh... idk. I guess the Middle East in general. That shit's rough. Do you like your country’s flag? Sure? Stars r dope? Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? NO. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Oh. My. God. When I was on three Klonopin a day (I'm now on just one and don't even take it every day), I literally could not function. There was one day in particular (I was on three very briefly bc of this) where I just slept until evening. I physically could not stay awake. I remember I was in the middle of watching a Game Grumps' Mario playthrough, and I'd only last like, ten minutes before I HAD to lie back down, and I'd fall back asleep in like, a minute. That was one of the most awful days ever, I was miserable. Do you like bath bombs? Sure, they're pretty. Who is your favorite neighbor? I don't actually know any. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? He's not very small, I think he's at about a million and a half subs, but Timmy Timato is so fucking iconic. He is an Actual Mood. I have no interest in what he actually posts; I just watch for him. As well, Johnny Paranormal is cool; he's a fuckin awesome guy and is chill and relaxing to watch. I don't watch him religiously, though. Rarely, actually. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? HAVE U HEARD OF????? THE MARKIPLIER GUY??????? What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? I think it was the Pussycat Dolls, fuck off, don't say shit 2 me "Buttons" is still dope. Do you like Disney movies? Blocked & reported if you don't. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Man idk, I enjoy a lot. I enjoyed The Avengers, and Logan REALLY tugged at my heart. Do you have any credit card debt? I don't have a credit card. Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm? No. What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming. What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off? Probably like... two days, lmao. It's not like I have a lot of experience. Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so. Where were you the last time you kissed someone? The airport. How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well? It's fine. Do you struggle with acne? No, not anymore. Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? RP is definitely the "strangest." Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Are you the clubbing type? Definitely not. Never been, not interested. Bar goer? No. I don't trust strangers + alcohol, and I'd be really scared of being hit on. Song you can’t stand? I don't think there's a song I've heard that I hate more than "Welcome To The Machine" by Pink Floyd. Well, correction, "Friday" by Rebecca Black. That autotuned to all fuck voice is just... major ew. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Jason is. Well, if he looks the same as last time I saw him, which was in 2017. Juan doesn't look half bad. Aaron's cute. What is unattractive about them? Jason: fucking communication skills. Juan: his reckless streak. Aaron: nothing that I know of, he's a sweetie and on a great path. Your hottest ex’s name starts with the letter what? J. Pick two highlighter colors: Yellow, Pink, Blue, Purple, Orange. Pink and orange. Has anyone ever written on you? Who hasn't been written on by friends with markers as a kid? Have you ever dated a fat person? Yes. Have you ever dated someone with a fine ass body? I mean this with total respect and love towards her: Sara's body is genuinely sexy. Her figure is amazing. Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for? Yeah, for prom, as well as my sister's wedding. Do you welcome people back when they say they have returned? Yes. What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream? I fucking hate whipped cream. How long would it take you to walk to the nearest fire hydrant? I've never paid attention, actually... Do you own anything that has the words or picture of ‘mustache’? Well my Mark tribute tat has the Iconic pink mustache on it, and the texting screen background on my phone is also a pink mustache collage-y thing lmao. When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up? Yeah, sometimes. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? On a burger. How would you feel marrying the man you love who has already a son? I don't love a man, and I wouldn't marry anyone with a kid. Have you ever played Roller Coaster Tycoon? What did you think of it? No, but I had SeaWorld Tycoon or whatever it was called. I loved that game. When you are chopping onions, does it really affect your eyes personally? I've never cut an onion myself, but when I'm in the proximity of someone doing it, I feel mild irritation. How long can you hold your breath for? Is there anyone who is better? Idk, I don't feel like testing it. When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name? I couldn't even try to guess. Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. Do you enjoy mayonnaise with French fries? Why or why not? Um that sounds disgusting. Did your last significant other have a huge temper? Actually, he warned me that he can and he was nervous about me ever seeing it. I, thank Christ, never witnessed it, though. I would've broken the fuck down, I can't handle angry men. What was the topic discussed in the last meeting you attended? I don't know the last time I went to a "meeting." Honestly, when’s the last time you genuinely liked someone? Now. Are you Team Jacob, Team Edward, or you just don’t care? I've never been into Twilight, but I find Jacob way more attractive. Do you like it when questions are long and make you think? Yes. Have you ever had love at first sight happen to you? No. Do you think Avatar is really all that great? I'm assuming you mean the movie and not TLA? I never saw the full thing, but I would love it. Love or trust? Trust, I think. You can't love someone in a healthy fashion if you don't trust them. What do you think about sexting? Not about that personally. That'd be so awkward. Have you ever done it? Those days where RP mating scenes on YouTube were over private message, timeskipping wasn't a thing... oh boy. It WAS uncomfortable. Would you ever swim with dolphins? Yeah! Have you ever believed a stereotype? Probably at some point. Have you ever tried marijuana? No, though tbh I probably would (but not through smoking it) for anxiety and panic attacks if it was legal in my state. Is there any reason you should be in jail right now? Can you go to jail for illegally downloading, or it is just a fine? Idk. Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? I mean, it was decent. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Latin. That shit was so hard. Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? Yes, for panic attacks. What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? Heartbreak. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Yes, but Mom played a larger role. Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? No. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. Do you plan outfits? "Not unless it’s a special occasion." <<< Are your parents strict? No. Would you go sky diving? Probably not. I'm afraid of heights, and I'd be really scared the parachute wouldn't deploy. Who sits behind you in your math class? Quite honestly, a bitch. She always has shit to say under her breath. Do you have good vision? No, it's awful. When was the last time you watched a show for people younger than you? Last I was with Sara. We're watching Avatar: The Last Airbender together. Have you ever snuck someone into your house before? No. Is there something your significant other does that bothers you completely? She's competitive and admits to it. A lot, particularly in writing, is a "mine needs to be better" thing. When was the last time you kissed someone on the cheek? When I saw my niece and nephew at my nephew's birthday party. How many best friends do you have? One. Did you ever get bullied as a child or were you the bully? Neither. Would you rather eat grape or strawberry jelly or jam? GRAPE. I hate strawberry jam/jelly. Do your parents ever send you to do their grocery shopping for them? No. Do you know anyone who has a speech impediment? I don't think I do personally. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was like... 11-12 or so, maybe? Possibly younger? Have you ever had a significant other who hit you? Fuck no. Do you own any exercise machines? No. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? If I need to, sure. School leaves me voicemails sometimes if I miss a call. Do you live in your hometown? No. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? Not very festive, but I mean, I enjoy 'em. Did you/Will you attend college? I'm back in college now!! You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. Listening to music fitting my mood helps me feel related to and not alone. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you watch the news? No. What hooks you to a television show? The most important thing is A GOOD PLOT!!! It needs to be really interesting to me, bc I do NOT get into shows easily. As for funny shows, they need to be fuuuuunny. I don't think I could ever get "hooked" on a show again, though. I just don't watch TV. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Yes. On the morphine occasion, it didn't do jackshit. I don't think they gave me nearly enough. Is there anyone that makes your skin crawl? The #1 thing that most fits the definition of "skin crawling" to me is seeing a fetus move from outside the stomach, especially the further the mother is along. It's fucking alien-esque and actually makes me scream and panic. Are people more likely to tell you to tone it down or to speak up? It can be either. Do you have a dining room in your house? No. Do you know the alphabet in any other languages? Very close to all of German's. I blank and aren't sure on a couple. How many people have you had sex with? One. Have you ever been surfing? No.
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Queen {Part 3}
Taglist: @beautifulbashfulblackqueen @lavitabella87 @idilly @ashanti-notthesinger@palmsofgranate@maliadestiny @blackpantherimagines @texasbama @profilia @90sinspiredgirl@msincognito67@onyour-right @janellemonaenae @ilcb7 @SUNFLOWER-HOE @chaneajoyyy@amethyst09 @sarcastic-sunshines @melanisticroyalty @forbeautyandlife @fentybabyy@theresnomoregoodones@missumuch1918 @simplyjaydaa @-harmonytbh @simplyyamberr@sisterwifeudaku @purple-apricots @heyauntieeee @youcantkillamutant @tadjoa @mejustme06@bugngiz @aieyr @bamakakechick@blackbypurpose @yourwonderbelle @multipersonalitygirl@chefjessypooh @hamato-rue159@blublubleu @elaindeereads @girlie94 @nubian-queen18@autumn242 @romanticcandle @nubian-queen18 @girl-with-the-pen @headhunchess@afraiddreamingandloving @thatbish27 @almostpurelysmut@blkintrovert @xxthotii @muhhhkrysta@dreamlloudly @k-o-jass @yoyolovesbucky @kileynoelle852@mademoiselleoya @silentlikethe-g-inlasagna @bossyboyd03 @royallyprincesslilly @kumkaniudaku@brianabreeze @bigdaddyashhh@pocoberry @madamslayyy @nyxy97 @imuhhhkrysta@kaykay4454fan @phambili-myking@esther-adri @bluesaladexpertpsychic @vibranium-soul@yoyolovesbucky @syreanne @maverickabull
Words: 2.8K
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Warning: There’s a bit of smut.
Queen
“You wearing a bra?”
“Mama!” You looked down at your ripped shirt that went with your relaxed outfit, the glimpses of your cleavage barely noticeable but, of course, your mother peeped it. “Yes, I am wearing a bra.”
“You don’t need to be showing off ya tidies. Not yet, at least.” You suddenly wondered why you’d even bothered calling her. Sometimes your mom could be a bit much. “And you best not be wearing no heels!”
“Mama!”
“I swear, you young people-“ You tuned her out as you waited for Chadwick’s flight to come in, eventually getting off the phone with her.
You’d met him back in April, shortly before he had to relocate to begin filming his new movie, Captain America: Civil War.
As a writer, you hated cliched terms, but it was a damn near fact that you felt a connection with him from the moment he shot you one of those alluring smiles and introduced himself.
You two crossed paths as part of a segment with Vogue which had the both of you interview each other about your journey to “stardom.” You’d been nervous that the conversation would be forced and awkward. It ended up the complete opposite.
On camera, the questions remained professional. However, once the word ‘cut’ entered the atmosphere, the two of you found yourselves wanting to know more about the other person. Contact information was exchanged, and that was the start of your “relationship.”
Though you and Chadwick hadn’t yet confirmed exactly what you were, your status as a couple was damn near inevitable.
While away for four months, you both talked every day. Whether it be a text, phone call, or FaceTime session, not a day passed where he wasn’t putting a smile on your face or vice versa.
After about a month of talking, he started to send you good morning texts. They began with just the two words, transitioned into the greeting with the blushing smiley face. Finally, he settled on a ‘morning baby.’ with the heart emoji.
Of course, you reciprocated the kind gesture with texting him every evening with a bible verse, usually the one that you read and based your devotional journaling on.
However, on the days where you didn’t get to do your devotional, you’d just find a verse that you felt was right and forward it.
Chadwick, also religious, always seemed thankful for the messages.
And, of course, you two always said good night to each other via the telephone or video chats.
So yes, you considered yourself in a relationship with the actor. You were just waiting for him to confirm it.
“Damn, girl.” Your head shot up as you heard his voice. “Can I talk to you?”
You couldn’t help your giggle as he dropped a line from the inside joke between just the two of you.
You untangled your legs and stood up, taking note of how his eyes trailed across your outfit.
“You been watching me, eh?” You managed a small smirk as you crossed your arms, taking in the sight of him. How could a man who just finished a 14hr non-stop flight from Germany to California look so damn good?
You’d tried to convince him to take an easier flight, one with layovers so that he could at least have breaks, but he wasn’t trying to hear that.
He said he was just ready to get back stateside....and that he wanted to see you, prompting you to play Jodeci’s song, Come and Talk To Me.
Ergo, your little inside joke.
Chadwick licked his lips and beckoned you over with a flick of his fingers. “C’mere, girl.”
You wasted no time in closing the distance, placing your arms around his neck, expecting a hug but surprise overcoming you as he grabbed your jaw and connected your lips.
You were momentarily stunned. Chadwick was such a private man, yet there he was sucking on your bottom lip while his hands moved down to squeeze your ass.
You moaned into his mouth as you realized how much you’d missed kissing him.
However, you also realized that things were about to get too heated for a public environment and, reluctantly, pulled away.
“Welcome back, Mr. Boseman.” You pecked his cheek, smiling as he quietly groaned, his hands still familiarizing themselves with your backside.
“I’ve missed your ass,” he murmured, his thumb feathering across your cheek. “So damn much.”
If you were a white girl, you’d be blushing up a storm. “I can tell.” A cheeky expression as you took a glimpse over your shoulder. “Can’t keep your hands off it, can you?”
He rolled his eyes and tapped your bottom, finally allowing his arms to drop as he went to grab his bag. “Let’s get out of here.” You went to make sure that you hadn’t left anything on the seat when he pulled you into his side and whispered in your ear. “Before you make me show you just how much I missed you in front of all these white folks.”
You elbowed him as you two started walking, his arm wrapped around you. “If you don’t stop before they call security.”
“Good, maybe I can get the video from them to hold me over when I have to leave ag-“
“Chadwick,” you were growing way too flustered from both his uncensored statements and the anticipation of an inevitable sexual experience.
You two had yet to be intimate as you had a two month rule in which you abstained from sex for at least 60 days to ensure that you didn’t put out before you were sure that there was a potential for longevity.
You also required a physical copy of recent testing to ensure that should you decide to engage in unprotected sex (you were on birth control), you’d be safe, something Chadwick provided a week before he informed you that he was returning to the states.
Having recently turned 30, you weren’t interested in dating just to have a boyfriend.
You were seeking a husband.
“Besides, you just got off a 14hr flight,” you reminded with a small shake of your head. “No way you’re up to doing anything but going back home and sleeping.”
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“Oh yes!” Your throat was raw so much so that you were literally contemplating how you were still able to talk. “Right there, daddy!”
Chadwick grounded his hips into you, prompting your head to drop down as you realized your vision was growing hazy. “Like that, baby?”
You couldn’t force a response and instead nodded furiously as he continued to pound into you from the back.
However, you quickly realized your mistake as his large hand came down on your ass.
“Words.” You continued to fist the sheets, quietly wondering how much longer your knees and arms would be able to hold you up. At the rate he was going, not long. “I wanna hear you say it, my Queen. Say how good this dick make you feel.”
Just him calling you his Queen had you ready to cum. “I-,” a loud and elongated groan left your mouth as he grabbed a handful of your Afro to better direct his powerful thrusts. “I love your-your dick—fuck—i-i-inside me.” Your mouth dropped open as you chowed down on your bottom lip, nearly drawing blood. “God, it feels sooooo good.”
You were suddenly wishing that you 1. accepted his offer to fly you out for a weekend while he was filming and 2. made an exception to your two-month rule.
This man and his paralyzing ten inches were definitely worth risking it all.
Chadwick seemed pleased by your response as he slowed down his movements, giving you a second to catch your breath.
“And this sweet pussy,” you released a rather unladylike like sound as his hand reached forward and started playing with your clit. “It’s mine?” Your eyes were damn near in the back of your head “I asked you a question.” He growled, resuming his bad decision causing pace. “Is it mine?”
“Yes!” You forced out. Honestly, with the way he was wrecking your body, you’d agree to just about anything. “It’s yours. This pussy is all yours.”
“Damn right it is,” tears streamed down your flustered face as he circled his hips. “My name gon’ be the last to leave that pretty lil’ mouth of yours.”
If you were thinking straight, you would have caught his underlying meaning, but then he grabbed you and pulled your back against his chest, his strong forearm across your breast as he continued to rearrange your guts.
“Daddy,” you powered through your exhaustion. “I’m gonna—Oh god—I’m gonna cum.” Your breathing became labored as you dropped your head, your body completely spent.
Chadwick was also nearing his climax as his rapid movements started to slow down. “That’s it, Queen.” You whimpered as he nipped at the back of your neck. “Cum with daddy.”
It was as though your body responded to his commands because right on cue, your juices flowed all over him as his seed spilled deeply into you.
Your mind was so foggy, your thoughts distorted. You weren’t even coherent as Chadwick slowly pulled himself out of you or as he went to go get a towel to clean the two of you up.
It was a good ten minutes later, him resting beside you, the covers pulled over your nude and sweaty bodies before you managed to get a sentence out.
“Can...can we...” Correction, a fragmented sentence. “I-“
Chadwick chuckled and pulled your trembling body into his chest. “Go to sleep, Queen.” If you still actually had feeling below your belly button, you thighs would have clenched just from him calling you that. “We’ll go get breakfast in the morning.”
Your eyes widened. This man just fucked up your whole life with eight inhuman and cervix shattering orgasms over a two hour period and now he was offering to take you out to eat?
Yeah.
Husband material, indeed.
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“I feel like people are looking at us,” you commented as you wiggled in your booth, wishing that you’d dressed in something nicer.
Chadwick laughed softly.
“You wanted to come here. I would have taken you someplace nicer-”
“Hey,” you pointed your fork at him. “I don’t wanna hear any slander, okay? Denny’s is a staple, and this French Toast Slam is the GOAT.”
“Mmmhmm. Just make sure that you eat it all.” His smile dropped into a sly smirk as he started to dig into his own Ultimate Omelette. “You gon’ need that energy.” He fell out in laughter at the mortified look on your face.
“A respite?”
“This is the respite.”
“Chadwick, I like being able to, ya know, walk.”
“And I like eating that pretty pussy till’ I see them eyes roll bac-” you quickly looked under the table to kick him, prompting more laughter from the actor.
“Oh my god, you are so inappropriate.” You mumbled, sliding down in your booth and covering your face with your hand, unable to help it as your light laughter forced its way out. “Can I ask you something?”
He nodded, grabbing and shaking the ketchup bottle. “Of course.”
You took a deep breath. “Your ex-” You witnessed the obvious change in his demeanor and started to switch up your inquiry to something less uncomfortable, but you needed to know. “You said you were with her for a little over a year, correct?”
“Yeah.” He offered no other comment as he kept his eyes on his food.
You leaned back in your booth, “Why’d you two break up?” Before he could answer, she inserted. “I told you about my ex.”
Myles was your on and off boyfriend that you met while attaining your masters. He was a nice guy, a hell of a journalist, and the sex was decent, but he wasn’t looking for commitment. It was often why you two broke up and got back together after a few months. However, your last break up, six months before you met Chadwick, ended up sticking. You couldn’t be with someone that you couldn’t see yourself eventually settling down with.
You needed to make sure the same wasn’t going to happen with the man across from you.
“The truth?” He propped a brow. “She was too clingy, only with me for a come-up, her family was too involved and invested in our relationship which also raised alarm, but overall….I couldn’t deal with her immaturity.”
“Let me guess…..possessive and jealous.”
“Extremely,” he shook his hand while recalling his time with her. “She’d get upset with me just for taking pictures with fans or signing autographs.”
“Oh no, that bitch had to go.” You found yourself declaring boldly while taking a bite out of your French Toast. Looking over at Chadwick, you found him staring over at you. You finished chewing and swallowed. “What?”
“I like you, Queen.” It was a simple statement, but his quiet tone sent chills down your spine. “And no, I’m not saying that just because we had sex-”
“Really good sex,” you murmured, putting your elbow on the table and resting your face in your hand as you tilted your head. “No, but I like you too, Chadwick.” You watched as his arm reached across the table to hold your hand, running his fingers over your knuckles. “Talking to you comes so natural and effortlessly: your aura is….welcoming. You have this calmness to you that I really enjoy.” A beat. “And I suppose it doesn’t hurt that I’m immensely attracted to you.”
You didn’t know why or how the hell you two ended up having this conversation is such a public establishment but you both were seated on the far end of the restaurant, and the only other guests were a middle-aged white man and an elderly couple.
“Aside from the fact that you are absolutely gorgeous, you are so intelligent, so talented, and confident in who you are. Your heart is pure, your spirit enticing, and I find myself wanting to know more and more about you.” You smiled warmly at his praise. “And that right there….your smile. It’s infectious. You are infectious. I found myself thinking about you a lot while I was gone….about us.”
“Us?” you slightly raised your brows as you stared at conjoined, brown hands.
“I see us lasting, Queen.” His voice turned serious as he eyed you with amazement. “I see longevity.”
You tried not to expose your surprise at his use of the same word that expressed the exact same thing that you were seeking in a partner. “So...years.”
“In the double digits,” he alluded, and you couldn’t help the way your stomach flustered at how bold he was being.
“I believe in marriage, Chadwick.”
His reply was instant. “So do I.”
Your heartbeat was so erratic, the thrill of your conversation bringing you such happiness. “And kids? I know you said that you like them, but you can like them and not-”
“No more than three.” He answered for you with a small smile on his handsome face while destroying any doubt that you may have had over this recently confirmed relationship. “But the number doesn’t make a difference, I’d be just as happy with one.”
“There is definitely the cutoff point,” you chuckled. “I’m not pushing out anymore over that.”
His eyes twinkled with mischief. “That’s probably a good thing especially if they inherit your big ass forehead.”
The smile on your face dropped as he laughed. “You know what….fuck you, my forehead is big but cute.” You weren’t even upset as you’d made comments about your forehead while on FaceTime with him on more than one occasion. It was something that you were insecure about once upon a time ago but now embraced and jokingly poked fun at.
“It is,” he agreed, finally letting go of your hand so that you two could resume eating. “And I like big.” He commented slyly as you rolled your eyes. He was like this while away for four months but you were surprised that he was being so vulgar in public. “Them titty’s, that ass-”
You arrogantly interjected. “You love my big booty.”
“Mmmhmm. Especially when you throwing it back on my-“
You almost choked on your food.
“Chadwick!”
---
A/N: I gave ya’ll a break from the angst with backstory because only I create a whole story to accompany what was supposed to be a oneshot.
*sighs*
Next chapter returns to the present time, though....
#Chadwick Boseman#Chadwick x reader#Chadwick Boseman imagine#Chadwick boseman fanfiction#Chadwick Boseman x reader#Chadwick x you#Chadwick Boseman x You
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Notes on SPN 14.02
So! I saw 14.01 yesterday, which was for the most part, surprisingly, a blast, and since I have a bit of free time today I thought I’d keep a hold of the momentum and watch and liveblog 14.02 as well. I’ve heard it’s one of those Buckleming plot-a-paloozas, but I’ll try my best to provide semi-reasonable commentary instead of incoherent ranting.
Right. As always, typing this post up as I watch. SPOILERS for the episode ahead.
1. We start with a recap of last season’s finale, and Show, do you really want to remind us this many times about that wire-fight?
1.25. Show’s lore regarding possession has been dizzyingly inconsistent, but the more I think about it, the less sense it makes to me that Nick is alive? Because Nick couldn’t actually house Lucifer for very long in s5—he was deteriorating, which was why Lucifer needed Sam so urgently. The last we saw of Nick, he was dead/dying in a dingy room in Detroit, when Lucifer jumped ship to Sam. Even if Lucifer assumed Nick’s visage in the Cage and afterwards when he was brought back, Nick-the-person with Nick-memories and Nick-feelings isn’t there anymore.
1.255. So what does this mean? Like, if this was explained away sometime over the last two seasons--I’m very sorry, I really wasn’t paying a lot of attention to large chunks of them—please let me know. If there’s no explanation, then has Lucifer disappeared inside a Nick-construct? Did he use a loophole to escape the worst of the Archangel Blade right at the moment Dean plunged it into his side? Lucifer was “human” for a while in s13, iirc. Did he have enough “human” to hide behind and recover? And has he filled that human with the memories/personality of one of the humans he knew best? Is it because he spent centuries assuming Nick’s body in the Cage that he’s most comfortable being him here?
… I don’t know. Maybe I’m missing something obvious, but, hey, it’s fun to speculate.
2. We start off with people artfully tied up in an artfully derelict church illuminated artfully by artful lightning.
… *groans* I hope we aren’t getting a torture scene already.
2.25. Well, Michael’s certainly chirpier than he was last episode.
2.5. Is he trying to make new angel minions, is that it, by feeding them blood and his grace? Leaving aside the lack of creativity in the mechanism, the whole thing kind of makes a weird sense. Michael is looking for those with purity of purpose—among religious leaders (and refugees, apparently), angels, and then finally monsters—and rejecting those ‘poisoned’ by nuance and experience and supposed sin. After all, no being whose wants are even slightly more complex than ‘food’ is going to be a perfect follower.
It also plays into his assholey, self-righteous personality and, well, god-complex.
(Dean would’ve appreciated this quest for pure purpose.)
3. There’s a kind of sitcom-y vibe to this little expository scene: Bobby talks shit about angels only for Castiel to walk in with a quirked eyebrow; the group talks about Jack and Lucifer only for Jack to walk in and go, “hey, you talkin bout my father again?”
(these are the tiny ways I feel SPN is at cross-purposes with its own theme of ‘found family’. Everybody’s obsessed with blood relations, to the point that Lucifer and Jack are constantly referred to as ‘father and son’ when there is no need to bring that relationship up. Last year, even Castiel referred to Jack while talking to Lucifer as ‘your son’ without any prompting from Satan. Words are so powerful, and so revealing.)
3.45. Castiel “as you know, Bob”-ing is hilarious. Oh, Buckleming.
3.5. Um, not to dismiss or compare Castiel’s considerable trauma at the hands of Lucifer, but is anybody going to acknowledge even once that Sam, who appears to have taken the brunt of caring for Nick so far, is also going to have trouble looking into his abuser’s face??
4. Nick continues to make no sense to me.
(I like little touches like Castiel telling him that he needs to remind himself to eat.)
4.5. I kinda like this scene, sue me. It makes sense to me that Nick would obsess over and over again about how he could’ve let himself say yes to Lucifer, although Lucifer is as old as time and had all the power in that situation. The ‘monster’ bit is a little too on-the-nose for me, but I like it. Really drives home what an intimate, horrifying violation possession is and how scarred and twisted it can leave the survivor who spirals down a well of undeserved guilt and self-loathing.
I wish Sam was the one talking to him now, or was at least present. He’d talked in the previous scene about how Nick was only ‘housing’ and deserved a chance to rebuild his life, and that hard-earned generosity of spirit would’ve been a balm to all three of them, I think.
5. ETA on the TOD, Bobby? *sporfle* Seriously though, I love this role-reversal: usually it’s Bobby who’s rolling his eyes at SamnDean’s eff-bee-eye shenanigans.
5.25. Ah, but where this Bobby has become an expert now is in telling the difference between smiting patterns!
5.5. I wonder if trying to appear non-threatening is just Sam’s default whenever he meets with, uh, ‘civilians’.
6. I really, honestly hate that the Bunker just happens to have ‘lore books’ on whatever the hell random question they’re having that day. I just kinda hate the Bunker in general, now that I think about it.
6.25. But doesn’t that ‘human component’ (lol) make a Nephilim strong enough to take down even archangels?
6.5. As pep talks go, that wasn’t bad. A few notes:
a) there’s an earnestness to the words that I’m sure that Castiel learned from Sam.
b) I think this is the first time that Castiel—or anybody—has referred to the events of 8.23 as “The Great Fall”. It’s interesting that it’s already gotten a name among angelkind and that Castiel would call it that, given how close he was to the events that led to it.
c) I want to both laugh and cry at Castiel’s assertion that Sam and Dean were there for him after he lost his grace. He was mostly left to fend for himself, obviously, but there’s no space for that in a pep talk.
d) Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Jack is actually just only a year old. Asking him not to dwell on something so… immediate is a tall ask.
7. Ok, so that was a nice snappy little counterpart to Lucifer-talking-to-Sam-in-the-mirror from the s5 finale. I like how Michael is blunt and matter-of-fact while Lucifer relished in the moment, bragged about how he’d had Sam’s number all his life, and seduced him with violent revenge. This is nice.
I don’t know, guys, I’m really enjoying this episode so far!
8. Sooooo Lucifer is residing in some subconscious layer of Nick’s mind? Is this PTSD shaped by his possession? Is Lucifer bleeding through his own construct? Are we going to find that it was actually Nick who killed his own family? (I think we are.)
8.2. Castiel looking for residual Lucifer in Nick reminds me of when he was doing the same for Sam re: Gadreel, and that reminds me of Dean’s ‘teen mom’ joke from that episode and now I’m pissed off.
8.5. Nick is fascinating, but is he fascinating enough that I care about his little revenge sub-plot? Eh. Jury’s out. Plus I just can’t stand the actor anymore
9. Sam’s just kinda there to move the plot along. Give him some more character moments, episode!
10. Michael reminded me of Dean in the scene with the werewolf. I’m really not getting a capital P personality from Michael, though that may be due to a personal choice. Or maybe because Michael was never a distinct character to begin with, and this is far more noticeable when Ackles plays it and ‘Dean’ threatens to take over any minute.
Or going meta for a second���maybe Michael’s deliberately infusing some Dean into his persona. Possession isn’t simply putting a thing inside a box: both entities are influenced and informed by the other, but only one has all the power.
11. … ok, so my interest in this Nick subplot is rapidly decaying. Nick did it. He killed his family. It’s not a mystery.
11.5. The emotional dynamics of this scene… checks out, actually. Of course Nick is projecting all his rage on Castiel. And of course Castiel regrets destroying Jimmy Novak’s life the most. More than toeing the party line and being instrumental in almost bringing the Apocalypse about in s4; more than releasing the Leviathan; more than trusting Metatron in s8; more than killing his brethren, who’ve tortured him back and tried to kill him on more than one occasion. But Castiel has been both angel and human—both possessing and being possessed—long enough that he’s intimately aware of the devastation it leaves both within and without. And there are no excuses for the way he and other angels have done that damage—so carelessly, so casually. Even the most well-intentioned angels are deceptive and manipulative and give not a second thought about their hapless vessels. It’s a sign of Castiel’s growth and compassion that he recognises his responsibility in this and that he invokes Jimmy’s name with both reverence and regret. In all this shouting and crying that Show doesn’t acknowledge the deep-seated trauma of possession survivors, this is actually a great moment.
12. That werewolf leader looks familiar. Has the actor been on SPN before? He kinda reminds me of one of the leads on Suits.
12.5. That’s a lot of clunky dialogue, but Michael is basically confirming what I speculated in point 2. Cool.
13. How Jack managed to get away and find his grandparents is never explained, but that’s a familiar Buckleming trope—characters are put together in a scene without any regard to how it might connect to other scenes or how/why those characters might’ve gotten there.
13.2. That said, it’s kinda poignant that Jack, having lost his angelic powers, is now trying to understand the human side of his heritage. He’s trying his best to adapt to his situation; this one year old kid is more well-adjusted than most of the adults on this show.
13.5. Well, holy shit, Jack talking about Kelly to his grandparents is just… making me feel emotional in a way this show hasn’t made me feel in a long, long time. This Calvert kid is good.
13.6. It is bizarre that Kelly’s parents are mostly ok with not knowing Kelly’s whereabouts for over a year—I don’t think we ever found out what position exactly Kelly held in the President’s office, and I can picture them in a bit of denial by telling themselves the reason they haven’t heard from Kelly is because she is in the middle of super-secret government work. I don’t know! But it’s just about handwave-able though, and their scene with Jack is worth it.
14. Honestly, Castiel, how did he travel so far and for so long without you noticing? So much for “Don’t worry, Sam, I will babysit this defenceless creature.”
(Speaking of Sam, wheeeerrreee’s Saaaaammmm)
“I suppose there are worse ways to be human than to be kind.”
“Have you heard from Sam?”
I LOVE YOU, JACK.
14.5. No, actually, Dean wouldn’t want it any other way. He said as much when Gadreel took over Sam completely back in s9.
15. Shoo, Nick.
16. FINALLY MORE SAM. With only like 4 minutes of episode left. What, Show, did you think you spoiled us too much last episode with all that glorious, glorious Sam content?
16.25. And finally a bit of action! The rapid-fire editing is making my head hurt, though.
16.5. Soooooooooooooo Dean’s back? Obviously Michael is playing a long game here, but it says something about the show that they can’t keep Dean away for more than two episodes without getting the shakes. I honestly miss Sera Gamble and her desire to rattle the status quo: in s6, she kept the so-called ‘real’ Sam away for half the season, which gave us imo some of the best storytelling, characterisation and acting from both Padalecki and Ackles in the entire show. In s7 she took away all the Winchester markers: the Impala, weird motel rooms, Bobby’s house. Of course, after she left the show settled back into a familiar rut (substituting Bobby’s house with that thrice-damned Bunker). I wish the show would take risks with these two again. s9 and the beginning of s10 were so very promising but there was no follow-through.
I guess they want to MotW fillers for a few episodes and that would be weird without SamnDean SamnDeaning it in the Impala, but Show, why don’t you just say ‘fuck it’ and try weird on for size? What do you have to lose? I mean, seriously?
17. Nick’s the murderer—called it!
18. This wasn’t terrible, you guys. 95% of the episode was just people sitting around having conversations, the dialogue was clunky, ideas derivative, scenes progressed without any rational links between them, the pacing was wonky, and there was too much exposition. But the emotional beats were solid and the set up is reasonably intriguing. I’ve seen far, far worse BuckLeming episodes.
Pacing is a real issue in this season, though. And Michael is not remotely intimidating as a threat.
#supernatural#season 14#spn spoilers#sam winchester#castiel#michael#jack kline#meta#unpopular opinion: this ep was... pretty ok
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17+4
First...I want to note that I’ve (for the most part) stopped counting the days/weeks of my pregnancy - like I had to think for a bit before I wrote the title of this post. I think this is a small but lovely marker of how much less anxious I am feeling, and how I’m not in survival mode anymore (aka I just need to make it one more day...one more day...).
So, in this week of pregnancy:
Maternity clothing purchases. Uhhh... I’ve bought a lot of stuff this week. First I bought a pair of inordinately expensive joggers from *yikes* lululemon. I have a lot of unreasonable shame about this. But last Saturday I just couldn’t find any bottoms that weren’t uncomfortable on my belly (I don’t have any maternity pants yet, and it was 32 degrees out so no skirts/dresses unfortunately), and so...I stormed off to lululemon in a somewhat emotional state. BUT I am so very happy with my purchase and most of all am confident that they’re going to last throughout the pregnancy AND be wearable postpartum (I went up two pant sizes). I know everyone raves abt the align leggings but I just couldn’t make them work, maybe my legs are abnormal? Like when I went up one size, the belly was too tight still, but when I went up two or more sizes, the ankle was super loose.
My rule of thumb re: maternity-specific clothes is that I won’t pay more than $20 for an item and hope not to buy more than 1 pair of jeans and a few pairs of shorts. This week I scored a pair of (used) madewell maternity jeans for $20! They have the adjustable side panel rather than the belly band which I think will be better for summer. They haven’t come yet but I’m hoping they are it.
K & I also went to the chinatown mall this weekend and walked into H&M to ask if they carried any maternity clothing..the guy just looked at us like we were crazy. “No.” Like, why would we?? Same at Gap, Old Navy, etc. Sooooo I bought a nursing bra and a pair of maternity sweatshorts off the H&M website. I think the last time I ordered something from H&M was over 8 years ago lolol but apparently they have good maternity stuff, so...we’ll see!
Baby purchases. This week I bought my first ever thing for baby. This is a HUGE milestone. I’ve been way too scared to buy anything for the past four months (for fear of what if, blahblahblah). So I guess this was more symbolic than anything? Anyway I bought this hat from a super fancy baby shop downtown and it’s SO FREAKKIINNGGG CUTE and teeny. Damage about $10, oh well. Also fairly gender neutral. We know bb’s gender/Biological sex but still are hoping to dress them in all kinds of colors.
Baby movements. Feeling baby move quite consistently, and yesterday while we were lying in bed watching TV k put his hand on my belly and felt his first kick!!! Honestly this has been such a double edged sword...feeling baby move is SUCH a lovely relief and so precious. But when I don’t feel bb move when I feel like I ought to I get stupid anxious even though you aren’t even supposed to worry about consistent movement for like...another two months.
Nausea. So. This past weekend nausea came back with a VENGEANCE. I had 2-3 days of nausea + migraine + fatigue and felt so sad/defeated because I didn’t know how long the spell was going to last. Thankfully it lifted and I’m feeling back to my second trimester self. THANK U HORMONES. THANK U BB.
My weight. I unintentionally found out my weight - it was written on a labcorp report for my alpha fetoprotein blood test - which came back negative yay (means vvvv low risk for spina bifida/downs). I guess your weight affects the interpretation of the results. I think ... it mattered a lot less to me than I thought? It was also lower than I thought (but not that much). Also I was just happy that the result was normal. I’m actually pretty glad that I know my weight (taken at 16+4) even though it’s just one data point. It’s a couple lbs over what I’m assuming to be my pre-pregnancy weight so I think what happened is I lost 5-ish lbs during the first trimester and then gained a little more back over the past 5-6 weeks, which seems pretty good to me. I think I might be ok knowing my weight at various milestones moving forward (like I’d be curious to know what I weigh around delivery) but I’m pleasantly surprised that it doesn’t mean that much to me / it’s actually not that big of a deal. I feel good in my body and that’s what matters.
18 weeks. I need to just get this out somewhere... I’m a little nervous about crossing 18 weeks because my mom had a stillbirth/late miscarriage at 18 weeks. There. I said it. That’s all. She said it was due to low amniotic fluid so you’d best believe I am chugging water like there is no tomorrow.
Dental cleaning. Feeling anxious about dental appointment in .. one hour hahaha. I have been avoiding the dentist for a year (COVID was a good excuse). I know it’s so important to see the dentist during pregnancy BUT my stupid insurance is so bad that nobody I call will take this plan anymore so I am going to pay out of pocket for a cleaning. And refuse x rays. I am quite religious about dental hygiene but somehow I still have teeth problems - probably get this from my dad. Anyway. I am trying to adopt a ‘curiosity’ mindset and say, let’s DISCOVER how my dental health is and FIND OUT what we can do to be as healthy as possible (sounds so stupid lolol) rather than just lapsing straight into anxiety. AHHHHH. will report back later.
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Rules: Answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people
IDK who to tag. oAo
Tagged by: @kimievii
What was your last…
1. Drink: Coffee!!!!
2. Phone call: My mommy about some cute curtains she got for my Grandpa.
3. Text message: To my brother about my new modem.
4. Song you listened to: Something on Diamond City Radio in Fallout 4...but can’t remember which one it was.
5. Time you cried: Like two weeks ago when I saw something sad on Facebook about a dog’s final day, and then I cried into my dog (who wanted nothing to do with me at the moment....the jerk)
Have you ever…
6. Dated someone twice: Yep. My first boyfriend. He broke up with me on my birthday and then exactly one month later he came crawling back to me.
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope.
8. Been cheated on: I’m like 95% certain my first boyfriend cheated on me.
9. Lost someone special: Do pets count?
10. Been depressed: What? Me? Depressed? HAH! (That’s sarcasm btw)
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope. I don’t like alcohol.
Fave colours
12. I was so obsessed with turquoise that I got entirely sick of it.
13. My old favorite color used to be red.
14. I really don’t have one right now I guess.
In the last year have you…
15. Made new friends: Sadly no.
16. Fallen out of love: Nope.
17. Laughed until you cried: While watching The Disaster Artist, I think.
18. Found out someone was talking about you: No, but I don’t care if people are anyway.
19. Met someone who changed you: Not in the last year, no.
20. Found out who your friends are: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: Nope.
General
22. How many your Facebook friends do you know irl: Most! I have a few internet friends on there that I’ve never met in real life.
23. Do you have any pets: Three cats, a dog, a turtle, fish, and I dunno if my 2000+ worms count in my compost worm tower?
24. Do you want to change your name: No way. I love my name. Although I would change my surname to be one of the traditional Irish spellings. It got hacked up and changed when my great grandpa came here from Ireland.
25. What did you do for your last birthday: My brother and I are two years and two weeks apart so we celebrated our birthdays together on my birthday. The family gathered here at my house and we ate our favorite childhood meal that my mom used to cook! And we had a huge black forest cake which was sooooo gooooood!
26. What time did you wake up today: 10:30ish
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Beating Fallout 4 (sided with the Railroad). I feel like I should’ve sided with the Institute after all was said and done, but oh well.
28. What is something you can’t wait for: Getting the FUCK out of San Jose, CA. I absolutely ABHOR living here and want to move to Oregon or Washington. This city has gone down hill and is just one giant cesspool of trash and trashy people.
29. What is your favorite animal: It used to be pigs, but I got burnt out from all the piggy things people would give me. I really don’t have a favorite. I love all animals....except sloths. Ugh.
30. What are you listening to right now: I’m listening to my dog panting. We just got done playing fetch in the yard.
31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yep! My grandpa’s name was Tom! Tom Tucker. He was a remarkable man and had some fantastic tales of his youth. He once was flying an airplane and thought he spotted a friend fishing down on some docks, so he dropped his cargo of tomatoes on him. Turns out it wasn’t his friend, but the mayor of the town. Oops.
32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: The city I live in. It’s so fucking noisy. Car horns, motorcycles, speeding vehicles, sirens....it’s all giving me bad anxiety as of late. I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t stand any loud noises, or really any noise at all now. Maybe I’m just getting old and grumpy. lol
33. Most visited website: I guess just google to google things. Or maybe Amazon.
34. Hair color: Right now it’s a mix of my natural medium brown with very faded blue and purple streaks. My hairdresser was sick when she bleached my hair and did my color, and so she didn’t do a good job bleaching it at all. It’s uneven and just.....icky right now.
35. Long or short hair: Having had all lengths, I think long hair looks the best on me. I love the ease of short hair, but my hair is so pretty that it’s kind of a waste to have it short.
36. Do you have a crush on someone: Actor Sam Heughan at the moment. But as far as someone I actually have contact with? No, no one. I’ve no interest in having interest, if that makes sense.
37. What do you like about yourself: I guess it’s my McGuyver-like brain. I can come up with some wacky solutions/fixes to issues or problems.
38. Want any piercings: Nah, I already have enough. In fact, I have three in each ear and I don’t even bother wearing earrings. They’re pointless.
39. Blood type: O+
40. Nicknames: Ziggy, Adriee, Adri, Sissy-Boo, my dad calls me Squirt, and my mom calls me Momma or Mommas. LOL go figure
41. Relationship status: Single and loving it
42. Sign: Pisces
43. Pronouns: she/her, although recently my dad called me Sir for some reason and I was like “Meh cool whatever.”
44. Fave tv show: Bob’s Burgers!
45. Tattoos: I really want one of my kitty’s paw, but I can’t afford it. Nor do I have a design in mind.
46. Right or left handed: Ambidextrous!
47. Ever had surgery: Yup. Microdisectomy on my lumbar spine back in 2009. I actually need orthognathic surgery, but that’s gonna be difficult to have done.
48. Piercings: Three in each ear, and my nose.
49. Sport: Hockey! Baseball is okay too.
50. Vacation: I really want to go to Scotland, Ireland, and basically all of Scandinavia.
51. Trainers: As in Pokémon or....?
More General
52. Eating: Nothing at the moment. Thinking about raiding my fridge soon.
53. Drinking: Watered down cranberry juice.
54. I’m about watch: IDK not in the mood to watch anything. I’m thinking about firing up Fallout again tho.
55. Waiting for: My workers comp case and Social Security Disability case to come to an end. It’s been going on for seven years and I’m just so over it all.
56. Want: To have my children’s books published. ; u ;
57. Get married: Ew gross no. I honestly can’t picture myself married anymore. That was something younger me used to daydream about, but now that I’m older and much more comfortable with myself, I don’t even entertain the idea. I don’t think I would ever trust anyone to fully love me anyway.
58. Career: Author. Hopefully a beloved and successful author of a children’s book series.
Which is better
59. Hugs or kisses: Neither, thanks. I don’t even really like when my family hugs me.
60. Lips or eyes: Eyes
61. Taller or shorter: I would hope taller, seeing as I’m short enough already as it is.
62. Older or younger: Older
63. Nice arms or stomach: I have a thing for arms.
64. Hookups or relationships: Neither.
65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker. I love deviousness.
Have you ever
66. Kissed a stranger: Gross no.
67. Drank hard liquor: Yes but ew.
68. Turned someone down: Yep, especially when I worked graveyard at Walgreens. :T Got a lot of creepy men asking me out all the time. Shudder.
69. Sex on first date: Hahaha yeah right. I don’t even really like hugging on the first date. LOL About a year ago I went out on a date with some dude off OKCupid and as we were saying goodbye, he leaned towards me while closing his eyes and I just went “NOPE.” and got out of his car.
70. Broken someone’s heart: Probably.
71. Had your heart broken: Yep. Twice.
72. Been arrested: Not yet, but hey things could happen.
73. Cried when someone died: I cry when fictional characters die, so yes I have cried when actual people have died.
74. Fallen for a friend: Nope.
Do you believe in
75. Yourself: As in that I exist? Sometimes.
76. Miracles: I’ve been witness to a few strange things happening, so I guess so.
77. Love at first sight: Hell no, what am I, ten? Love at first sight is not real. It’s infatuation at first sight.
78. Santa Claus: I mean, why not? What’s the harm in entertaining the idea?
79. Angels: In a strictly mainstream religious concept? No.
Misc
80. Eye color: Hazel, gold in certain light.
81. Best friend’s name: Django, my doggie. <3
82. Favorite movie: Pan’s Labyrinth.
83. Favorite actor: Sam Heughan! Nnghgjkhsjdkghsd
84. Favorite cartoon: Toss up between Bob’s Burgers and BoJack Horseman.
85. Favorite teacher’s name: I guess it’d have to be my first grade teacher, Mrs. Little. When I was in the second grade, I would get horrible anxiety when there would be a project (like art or something). I’d cry for some reason, and the teacher got so frustrated with me that one time she kicked me out of the class. Mrs. Little was on a break at the time and so she took me out of school and drove me to her house while she did a quick errand (I’m pretty sure she called my parents and got permission first). She was nice to me and calmed me down. ; u ; Years later I saw her in a clothing store and she recognized me, and was so excited to see me. She told my mom that I was her favorite back then. <3
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☾SEIKO ARTEMIS☽
✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ ┌─────────┐ ❨Basics❩ └─────────┘ » Name: Seiko Artemis » Name meaning: {Exquisit moon hunter}~~ Seiko is a Japanese word meaning "exquisite" or "success" ("exquisite" is usually written 精巧 from Chinese jīngqiǎo, while the meaning "success" is usually written 成功 from Chinese chénggōng). Artemis [artemis] as a girls' name (also used less generally as boys' name Artemis) is pronounced AR-te-miss. It is of Greek origin. Mythology: name of the Greek goddess of the moon, of hunting, and of chastity, equivalent to the Romans' Diana. The other two virgin goddesses were Hestia, goddess of the hearth, and Athena, goddess of wisdom. Name of the granddaughter of Lady Diana Cooper, perhaps as a tribute to the grandmother. The variant Artemisia is the name of a shrub common in America. It is also the name of the colorful 17th-century Italian painter Artemisia Gentileschi. » Nicknames: sei » Date of birth: March 13 when I first drew her » Zodiac: Pisces – February 19th to March 20th – This is the Light, Revealing the Light of Life Itself. It ends forever the Darkness of Matter. Pisces is a Water Sign ruled by Neptune and Jupiter in the conventional man, and Plutoin the disciple. With Pisces you will find a patient, perceptive, spiritual, peace-loving and imaginative person who is considerate and sensitive to the feelings of others. Pisces like to influence others through their compassionate, charitable and imaginative natures, but they are often influenced and vulnerable, because these sensitive personalities of astrology signs absorb the emotions of others easily. One would say they are easily influenced or impressionable. Pisces need to develop more discrimination with people to curb the impressionable nature of those born under this personality of astrology signs. It’s their indecisiveness, timidity, melancholies and feeling they are misunderstood that stands in their way. It gives others the impression they are pessimistic lost souls. Pisces often lack clarity and practicality. This is an artistic, creative and psychic sign with a keen imagination. Often this sign is a dreamer with an unworldly intuitive side. The soul lesson is to learn and accept, "I live my life through accepting what IS." It’s not about changing or fixing. It’s about accepting with compassion without taking on thenegative issues of others. For most Pisces, acquiring wealth is a means to an end rather than an end in itself. Pisceans are devoted parents, and spouses who take very good care of their family and friends. They show compassion, caring and understanding without complaining. The dual fish sign is often a victim of their own choices. Your Piscean child will often have imaginary friends who they converse with regularly. Pisces child may appear clingy or needy because of their strong emotional attachments to family. They need emotional support and love from their family to feel secure. They will excel at whatever they puts their mind to. The Piscean worker is personable, easygoing and charming. » Age: 23 » Gender: adrogenous They/them However female but how funny would it be if no one was sure if Seiko is female or male » Species: al'bhed » Sexuality: bisexual » Virgin?: hasn't dated so yes » Nationality: Asian (in final fantasy 10 Rikku and yuna look more Asian than white SO ..) » Native language: al'bhed » Other languages: Her mom taught her English before she passed away as well as her dad ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ “*never trust robots*” ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ ┏━━━━━━━━━━━━┓ ┗━━━━━━━━━━━━┛ ┌─────────┐ ❨Appearance❩ └─────────┘ » Height: 5"5 » Weight: 115 (?) (She's taller than me sooooo) » Hair color: silver (she was born at thunderplains) » Hair style: short ➳ ➴ ➵ ➶☾✧⋰ ⋱✧☽➳ ➴ ➵ ➶ Faceclaim lefabulous_killjoy Gray hair with neon blue, neon green, yellow, orange, and red subtle streaks in her short hair » Eye color: lightest blue yet not white » Skin color: pale » Piercings: none » Tattoos: none » Scars: faint cuts and scratches from the wild and bandits from her home » Birthmarks: none » Make up: none » Body scent: earthy in smell or oil since she is a inventor ...coffee in mornings (but at the start she was curious and broke the coffee machine ...not many of our normal necessities exist where she is from where it's a small island and everyone has to invent things) » Face & Body description: voice: smart and boyish adrogenous and lean » Outfit/Attire: She often wears her al'bhed attire. Pinstripe jacket. Red Dusty scarf. Dusty combat boots ..white pants ....gray shirt.. But she has several attired to fit situations ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ ┏━━━━━━━━━━━━┓ ┗━━━━━━━━━━━━┛ ┌─────────┐ ❨Personality❩ └─────────┘ » Personality description: melancholy yet has snarky tendencies. Genius. Always in her mind which makes her very thoughtful and sweet hearted » Mental stability: quick witted » Sane or Insane: sane » Passive or Aggressive: both Optimist or Pessimist: pessimist however both at times » Religious or Atheist: atheist in a way being half al'bhed » Habits: breaking things to put back together RIP YOUR PHONE ..HIDE YO THINGS » Pet peeves: bossy individuals People who think they are better (she is competitive) » Soft spots: direct take charge types (she is shy to romance) » Deep dark secrets?: she killed bandits... Who are people » Likes: inventing things ..curious people whom are just like her » Dislikes: being treated as weak » Obsessions: tearing things apart to put back together » Sexual position: [asexual shy] Dominant or Submissive: submissive » Sexual turn-ons: take charge types being surprised » Sexual turn-offs: name calling and abuse ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ “*this dream is dangerous*” ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ ┏━━━━━━━━━━━━┓ ┗━━━━━━━━━━━━┛ ┌─────────┐ ❨Stats❩ └─────────┘ » Strength: 6/10 » Intelligence: 10/10 » Charisma: 6/10 » Agility: 6/10 » Eyesight: 10/10 » Endurance: 5/10 » Wisdom: 7/10 » Alertness: 10/10 » Willpower: 10/10 ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ “*times are tough but I am tougher*” ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ ┏━━━━━━━━━━━━┓ ┗━━━━━━━━━━━━┛ ┌─────────┐ ❨Fighting Style❩ └─────────┘ » Passive or Aggressive: both » Weapon(s): crossbow on right dagger left » Weapon description: it's kinda like assassins creed but she made them herself ..crossbow dagger » Close or Ranged combat: both » Magic?: no » Magic type: uh she can make bombs? » Magic description: .........kaboom..? » Shapeshift?: no » Alternate form: no » Magic background: none ..her weakness [C]✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ “*I don't take orders I barely take suggestions*" [C]✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ ┏━━━━━━━━━━━━┓ ┗━━━━━━━━━━━━┛ [┌─────────┐ ❨Relationships❩ └─────────┘ » Mother: was a Summoner » Father: was al'bhed » Brother(s): none » Sister(s): none » Pet(s): none » Other relatives: didn't know them » Love interest(s): multi ship » Children: none » Enemy(s): (depends if it's a final fantasy rp) » Rival(s): (depends if it's still a final fantasy rp) ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ “*don't change yourself to make others happy*” ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ ┏━━━━━━━━━━━━┓ ┗━━━━━━━━━━━━┛ ┌─────────┐ ❨Background❩ └─────────┘ ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ A prevalent blessing of the Yevon faith ~Praise be to Yevon! [C]✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦ [C] the people of Spirafollow the teachings of Yevon. The faith is named after Yu Yevon [ju 'jɛ.vən] (エボン・ジュ, Ebon Ju?), a summonerwho lived in Zanarkand one thousand years ago. Nearly all the peoples of Spira follow the teachings of Yevon, including the Ronso and the Guado (converted during high summoner Braska's Calm by Jyscal Guado and Kelk Ronso as part of Grand Maester Yo Mika's "sub-races appeasement policy."). The Al Bhed are an exception and are viewed as heretics by the autocracy for their use of machina, a practice forbidden by the church. As for the Hypello, whether or not they follow Yevon's teachings is never explored. Yevon draws inspiration from real-world religions, such as Shintoism (practices and temples), Buddhism (iconography and ritualistic disciplines), Islam (pilgrimages) and Catholicism (hierarchical structure and rigid doctrine). A practitioner of the Yevon faith is referred to as a Yevonite. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (i hadn't thought out her past extremely well honestly) Seiko's mom, a Summoner fell in love with a al'bhed. A race who is not accepted by yevon. Forcing to make the choice of no longer being a Summoner or leave the al'bhed man. As a Ex summoner she had Seiko. Obviously couldnt couldnt bare no longer being with the man she chose him and often ridiculed for such a choice. Living in thunderplains bandits often were all over but her parents felt as though they were fine. Then bandits broke in. Seiko was only 9. Her mom had her crawl out a window to go to a inn and Seiko didn't want to leave her mom and dad, leaving her to fall and hurt her leg. Seiko gets a distance away to see the bandits leave catching her home on fire. She lost her family. She then goes to a inn where the inn keeper looks after her. She saves up her allowance while working in the inn to go follow her dreams. Machine faction. Seiko often would invent odd things to travelers who stayed in the inn as her own business and gained gil. She created her own personal hover and went to djose to become a factionist. Her skills were praised...She's a genius. Which sparked jealousy among other Al'bheds. When the machina went haywire the others saw opportunity to get rid of Seiko whom was blamed and due to all the complaints without proof.. Gippal demoted her to dig in bikanel. Oaka the 23rd found the inventor and they traveled together as merchants selling seikos inventions until the debt collectors came. With nothing and no one she had no choice BUT to go to bikanel to dig. ~~while digging she finds a ancient machina which teleported her somewhere else [insert your home here] ┌─────────┐ ❨Theme Song❩ └─────────┘ nomak- moonflow [Seiko's song|https://youtu.be/hKKmly7fbhQ] ✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦
#Ffxv oc bio#ffxv oc#roleplay#rp#ffx oc#noctis lucis caelum#lunafreya nox fleuret#ravus nox fleuret#ignis scientia#gladiolus Amicitia#prompto argentum#kingsglaive#final fantasy oc#love rp#oc
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I'm a gay teen living in the south, who is also unsure about her gender identity, and I just want to tell all the parents of this site that I am so glad to have found this site. My family does not accept me in any way, and my mom does not acknowledge who I am and always says things like, "when you get a husband..." knowing I'm gay, but never talking about it. How can a parent still care about and love their child but not accept them? I'd like a parent's perspective, because I don't understand,
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Hi Love,
I’m so glad you took a moment to write to us. I want to tell you up front that there aren’t many moms who see the comments over here on the Tumblr side---most of the activity and interaction is on the main blog www.yourholidaymom.com. I would highly encourage you to go to the ‘About Our Letters’ link on the main site, scroll all the way to the bottom of the page, and then copy and paste the paragraph above into the comment box to submit it to all the moms over there. Way more people are going to see it, and you may even get a response from other teens who are in or have been in your shoes.
But in the meantime, I’ll give you my perspective. I’m 49 and have been very happily married to the woman of my dreams for almost 13 years. However, I was once in your shoes. I came from a very religious family who felt that anything out of the “norm” in regards to gender identity and who one loves was a sin. I didn’t even realize that I liked girls until I was 24. I was going to college and living back at home with my parents. Long story, but when my mom suspected something was going on and found my personal journal, there was an intervention by her and the preacher’s wife. When the intervention didn’t work, I was given a curfew for the first time in my life. Even at that age, my parents were trying to control me and scare me away from being true to myself. I moved out and ended up breaking ties with my family for a while as I found out who I was.
That was hard. Really hard. My parents still very much cared about me and loved me, but they couldn’t accept what they felt was a very deliberate choice. But you and I know that this is not a choice. And we know that in order to thrive and to be truly happy, we have to be true to who we are.
In my case, my parents allowed their horror about what they felt was a sinful lifestyle to cloud their acceptance of me. And coming from a very small ‘Bible Belt’ midwestern town where everyone knows everyone, I know they were worried about what everyone else would think and say. I know it’s difficult to fathom how parents can be more worried about what everyone else will think rather than the feelings and wellbeing of their child, but it can be a struggle for them as well.
My parents did eventually come around, but it took a while. In the meantime, my then-girlfriend’s family was, fortunately, very supportive, so I ended up being adopted into a new, loving family. It didn’t totally make up for being shunned by my own family, but it gave them time to get used to the real Me and realize that I had to be who I was. My mom finally told me as I was preparing to move out of the state a few years later that she loved me and all she ever wanted was for me to be happy. We now have a great relationship and she absolutely adores my wife.
I used to crave for things to be easier in those days--wishing that my family would just get over it and things could go on as before. But life isn’t always easy. Sometimes we have to struggle in order to grow into the person we’re meant to be--not just you and me, but our family members too. And you know what? That’s okay. I can look back on my life and the lessons that we ALL have learned with gratitude. Like I said, I KNOW that it is sooooo hard right now, but if you remain true to who you are and let your light shine, things WILL get better.... if not with your own family, then with your new chosen family in love.
I love you, Sweetheart. I have faith that you are going to get through these tough times and come out even stronger on the other side. Just stay true to you. Wishing many bright blessings for you in this brand new year!!!
xoxoxoxoxo ~ Mom Marni
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So, the company I work for supplies all the local convenience stores and Speedway gas stations East of the Mississippi River with all their stuff inside the store (you go in and buy a phone charger from a Speedway station? Boom. Came from us. That Snickers ice cream bar you chowed down on? Picked from our freezer...well...not MY freezer -- unless you live within 100 miles of my particular warehouse, but one of our company’s warehouses). Our two major stores use to be Circle K (”Strange things are afoot at the Circle K...”) and Speedway.
Second week of January, our contract with Circle K was up and they switched to a different distribution company. All of the sudden, our work days went from 10 to 12 hrs a day..............to 4.5. I’m not even kidding you. Today the freezer half of my department was done at 4am, my crew in the cooler was done at 4:30am. We started at midnight. For months, and I do mean MONTHS, management was begging anyone and everyone who was willing to work as many hours as possible, to work as many hours as possible. The paychecks were decent, so those of us who decided to work extra hours never really complained, too much.
Now that we’ve hit slow travel season, and we’ve lost Circle K, management doesn’t really want anyone putting in any over time. In fact, if it were up to them, they probably would have preferred that my entire department left once we were finished today...after only 4 or 4.5 hours of work. While 2nd shift no doubt got their full 8 or more hours in today. My shift (3rd shift) is the only one NOT promised a full 8 hour shift. We’d still be called full-timers, still get all the benefits, but there was a good chance we’d be lucky most days to make 36hrs a week during the winter (at least, that’s how it was last winter once we finally hit our winter hours). Now it’s even less likely unless our manager can find something for us to do until 8:30 when we hit our full 8 hr mark.
Well, I like to stay and help Jason on Wednesdays. It’s a heavy day for him, and I like getting to help break down the skids that come in full of product, arrange them on the pallets, and slap the labels on so he can get them confirmed into the system and put away in the freezer. It’s a fun little way for me to be able to spend more time with him, and more often than not, we joke around and tease each other and play and be goofy and everything’s cool. So, when my guys finished at 4:30, and I finished stacking at 5:30/6am, I just wandered my way out to the dock, looked to see what Jason was working on breaking down and dove right in.
My manager found me a few minutes later and was like, “Hey, you’re cool to stay until 8:30. But that’s it. Anything more than that, and we gotta go talk to the warehouse manager. They don’t want anyone to get any overtime right now.” Because of fucking course they don’t want anyone to get any overtime right now. Guuuuuuuuuh!! So, I said that was fine (*cue Morgan Freeman’s narration: “It was in fact not fine,”*) and I set about working to get as much done as I could in what little time I actually had.
Now, Jason has not been feeling well this week. He called off Friday cuz he wasn’t feeling well, and he still isn’t up to par yet. I dropped cold and flu meds off for him Monday after I finished work (which his dad decided to steal most of, thanks dad...) and yesterday he basically went home straight after work and went straight to bed. Today, he still wasn’t feeling well. And on top of that, his “helper” Oscar was being an utter dumbass again and pissing him off right from the start of his shift. So, he was not in a good mood. At all. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get him to laugh or play or anything with me. He went on his first break at 6:30, I went with, and finally got him to talk and tell me what was wrong (Oscar, of course, was the reason. As he usually is). It seemed to help him a little to vent, but not enough to get him to play with me.
Now, last week, he and I were being goofy and playful and...yeah alright, inappropriate but in a fairly innocent way (if that’s possible? All talk, I guess you could say?) and then on Wednesday, I was gonna be brave and do something for him at work (*coughs-lethimcopafeel-coughs*) where the cameras couldn’t see. It was Wednesday, I had hit my 8 hr mark, I was gonna head home. Went into the freezer where I knew he was and kinda nudged his side and told him to meet me in the ice cream room...where there’s no cameras whatsoever. He didn’t question it, he just went. I met him in there, he hopped off his forklift, pulled his skimask down, took half a step forward, his hands were reaching for my waist and while my brain was screaming to abort, my mouth was already telling him to close his eyes so I could take his hand and shove it against my chest. I literally missed a chance (and it was confirmed that I missed it) to make out with a sober Jason in the ice cream room at work. So, I decided today I was gonna ask for a redo! I wanted a second chance dammit! It got to be a little after 8, Corie (the coworker who cornered him and told him to go talk to me waaaaaaaaay back in September for the first time) was heckling me and telling me to go do it, I only had 20 minutes left before I was suppose to leave, he was alone in the freezer, there’s no cameras in the 95 aisle either, go fucking make out with him. So, I went wandering in and up to his forklift. We talked a bit, he thought I was leaving so he gave me my hug and I still just kinda hung around trying to get him to talk a little more and finally when he was like, “I should get back to work.” I was like, “Yeah?” “Yeah.” “Damn. I kinda was hoping I could get a redo of last week.” He gave a surprised laugh and was all, “What?” “I was hoping I could get a redo of last week. I blew it last week! I want a redo!” He tried to play like he didn’t know what I was talking about, I nudged at him and told him he totally knew what I was talking about. He finally was like, “Eh...well...maybe...” I just smirked at him and raised an eyebrow and tried to nudge a bit more and he went, “C’mon, really, lemme get back to work. I wanna get out of here at a decent time.”
I was totally rejected. Turned down. I felt utterly stupid and kind of ashamed of myself for even suggesting it. I nodded and let go of his forklift and was like, “Okay, gimme another hug, I’ll go.” So, got another hug (a nice hug, both arms, sides of our heads tilted against each others), turned, shoved my hands in my pockets and shuffled off out of the freezer.
Corie was still out on the dock, on her own forklift, talking to their manager, John. She saw me come out, I made a grumbling face, which got her to laughing and then when John looked from me to her and said something, she started laughing more. I went up and tried to play like I didn’t know why she was laughing, and both her and John just waved me off. I went and got my shit together, locked up my locker, felt like a total dumbass, and went to try and leave. Went up to Corie’s forklift and she finally was like, “Alright, so, 1: I was laughing cuz I saw your face. 2: Because John saw you walk out ahead of Jason and went, ‘Oh, they took a trip to the ice cream room, huh?’ Oh, by the way, John totally knows about you guys, totally by my own fault.”
..........I don’t know whether to kill Corie, or just never show my face around their manager ever again. Either way, Corie got me to stick around a little while longer, until it was basically 8:30 on the nose, and during that time she was all, “Dude. I can’t believe he turned you down!” then look over her shoulder to see where he was and scream, “DUMBASS!” Pretty sure he had no idea she was talking about him. Then, right before I was gonna leave for real, she was like, “I’m totally gonna go up to Jason and be like, ‘Bro, you should give Lyssa a li’l somethin’-somethin’ in the freezer before she leaves.’” I begged her not to! She was just doing it to try and embarrass me and him! She grabbed up a stack of labels, went over to him and I ducked behind a pallet to hide cuz JFC how is this my life?!?! And yeah, she totally did it. Thankfully, he didn’t know she was serious. He just laughed about it. So, I left and felt stupid (though, did feel better once I found out that Purple Haired Bitch had left a while ago and never came onto the dock looking for him, he never left the dock to go with her, I was sooooo happy!) and texted him at like, 11am to apologize and say that I just thought if I could get him to play, it might help make his day a little more bearable. I figured the only response from him I’d get, if I got one at all, would be “It’s all good.”
I grabbed my pajamas, and a towel, went and took a long, hot shower and when I came back down there was a text from him. As expected, it was, “It’s all good.” But there was more! “Just not feeling well and I don’t want to get you sick.” *Dopey grin and cuddles phone close* It wasn’t cuz he didn’t want to, or because last Thursday he sent me a text saying “I think we should start behaving”. It was cuz he doesn’t wanna get me sick. Which is what I told Corie I figured it was when he turned me down. And the meds I gave him? He’s actually taking. He literally just sent me another text, basically letting me know he was off of work, saying “Time to go take more meds lol”. I just...I know why he’s not ready for a serious relationship, and I know he’s been burned so many times before that he’s scared of it happening again, but I just...I’m gonna keep hoping. And trying, and working at him. I feel like I am chipping away his resolve, tiny bits at a time, but still doing so. And I know his life is an utter wreck right now thanks to his bitch of an ex, but there’s times when it feels like he’s almost willing to give it a shot. I’ve been praying, A LOT, and I’m not one for praying or very religious, but I have been praying a lot, every day...and amazingly enough, in small ways it feels like they’re being answered.
His mom told me Friday when she and I were talking, if I thought he was worth it, to be patient with him and get him to talk. I’m as ridiculously patient with him as he is with me. I’m gonna keep working at him, keep trying to chip away at the shield he’s got around his heart. At this moment, right now, I have no intentions of giving up. He’s stuck with me. For however long it takes.
#Personal log#how did my life become a fucking fanfic?#Like seriously#I swear I've read this fic before#it had a happy ending#just lots of angst and pain along the way#A character with insecurities#yeah#no#I've totally read this fic.#But it's real life???#What the actual fuck???
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